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Dec. 10, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:55:17

S03E50 - FIGHTING BACK [2020-12-10 - S03E50 - FIGHTING BACK]

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	That was the clash.
	Coca-Cola with a K. Fucking great jam.
	I chose that because it's got such a great beginning.
	Elevator going up.
	Paul Simonen's bass line and Joe Strummer's raspy voice and Tipper Hedden's amazing drums.
	And of course, Mick shit.
	He just escaped me.
	The guy was kicked out right after that album.
	They ruined the whole fucking...
	He started a big audio diamond after that.
	Why am I drawing a blank?
	Mick Jones.
	That album was...
	They were accused of selling out because they signed with CBS.
	And they said, okay, fine, we're sellouts.
	And proceeded to make one of the greatest albums of all time.
	That's what happens when you release yourself from the chains of categorization.
	Speaking of punk, today's book is England's Dreaming by John Savage.
	You gotta be really in a bucket and punk to like this book.
	It does not leave out any details at all.
	Look how big it is.
	There's like a chapter in here on Malcolm McLaren's grandmother.
	It's like that Keith Richards book, Life, where he talks about his aunts and uncles.
	So I wouldn't recommend reading this entire thing cover to cover, but it's a cool book to have because a lot of punk books leave out details that are important to you, like Krass, even though they don't love me anymore.
	Crass always are always left out of the history of punk, and they were an integral part of the history of punk.
	And they sort of started the whole anarcho-punk thing, which ultimately, unfortunately, has led to Antifa.
	But they were sort of the roots of that, and they should be in the book.
	They were the ones who sort of intellectualized it and gave it a substance.
	The sex missiles were just screaming.
	But so that's in it.
	But every punk band you've ever heard of, or any movement, or any event, or any strike, or any riot, it's in this book.
	So it's a good sort of compendium, my new favorite word, to have.
	The Sid and Nancy death, everything.
	Everything you need to know about the sex pistols, obviously, is in here.
	So it's a good book to have to look up stuff.
	But man, kill your darlings, John.
	He probably has Tourette's.
	That's why he did that.
	Let's get that nicer.
	There we go.
	Fun show today.
	We got Heshi Tischler on the show.
	He's this Jude dude, Jedude, a Jude, who is at the forefront of fighting back against Cuomo and de Blasio here and these ridiculous COVID rules.
	He was at the Max Public House, a big part of that.
	And he's the guy who was the first to start clipping the locks, which I love.
	I just love that image.
	If we have a logo, it should be a bolt cutter.
	Like, you're not locking me in.
	You're not locking me out.
	Snap, breaking the chains.
	I was at Ryan's house two nights ago, and I saw this in his lobby, which I love this kind of shit.
	This is everything.
	Put this in a time capsule.
	Or if aliens are curious about how earthlings behave and what our flaws are, send them this.
	Package missing.
	Okay, that sucks.
	Has been reported.
	So now considered under investigation.
	Texture there seems to be very crayon-esque.
	Maybe they put that, they did the underlining after it was on the wall.
	Is that crayon?
	It looks like...
	Maybe it's grease pencil.
	I think that's a grease pencil, which photographers use to circle various pictures they want to print.
	But that's all digital now.
	So has been reported, now considered under investigation, and then he says, return or leave on shelf.
	You got to pay attention to the TriCaster, Ryan, and see what gets cut off.
	Return and leave on shelf.
	So in this person's incredibly naive mind, the fact that it's been reported means something.
	To whom?
	I mean, unless there's cameras there, no one gives a shit.
	You think the police, like the same people who say defund the police, the left, think the police are magic.
	Especially where Ryan lives, near the Bronx.
	Well, not near the Bronx, but white areas, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
	They think that anything that goes wrong, like I left my phone outside and someone stole it.
	Did you contact the police?
	Yeah, they've got a task force on it.
	They are working with Apple now doing geomonitoring of my phone.
	And they're going to send in the SWAT team to start at the top of the building and from the outside of the building, go to...
	Like, they got shit to do.
	Here's what cops are like, especially in this day and age.
	I don't want to get fired.
	So if someone is smashing the same window at the firehouse every single night and the police are there, they're going to say, why didn't you take care of that?
	It kept happening.
	And they're going to get in trouble.
	So they'll take care of that.
	But as far as like your phone or your package or the way that you see people in the street dealing with Karen's going, call 911.
	Like, remember that guy we had on the show a million years ago?
	Not a guest, but he had that sign up that said, like, men have feelings too.
	And she gripped it up and he goes, call the police, and then puts his hands in his pockets.
	What are they going to do?
	I told you in my neighborhood, there's F-14 fighters going overhead and they call the cops.
	They think the cops are God.
	Pray to the police.
	Defund the police.
	Take away all their money.
	Humiliate them.
	Insult them.
	Tell them to fuck off.
	Spit on them.
	But also call them if it rains on your birthday.
	And they will go and arrest every drop that dares to land on your property.
	Think how naive you'd have to be to think that, first of all, that the thief is in the building.
	He's probably some dude who the door was left open in the lobby or something, or he came in when someone was coming out and he went, oh, cool, and grabbed it.
	I don't see any cameras down there.
	But even if you had cameras, okay, so here's a dude.
	Seems to be a black guy.
	I can't really tell.
	There he is grabbing my package.
	See right there?
	I printed it out.
	Here, I'm filing a report.
	What do the cops do now?
	Start going door to door?
	Plus, most video cameras, the picture's a blob.
	You see it in the New York Post blotter.
	Blobber, they ought to call it, where they're like, have you seen this man?
	And you're like, is that a man?
	I just sort of see a head.
	I can make out kind of a shirt.
	You got to handle your own problems, my dear.
	And it's not being investigated.
	No detectives are on the case.
	No one gives a shit about your package.
	Your package is gone.
	Say goodbye.
	Now, if you push and push, you might get the place you bought it from to give you your money back.
	Like with my golf bag, I didn't get.
	The guy told me he sent me a golf bag.
	He tried to bullshit me.
	I just canceled it on my Chase account.
	But I think what eBay did was they just gave me the money out of their account.
	Because going to investigate and doing all this shit, it's more expensive than just giving me the money.
	The bank does that all the time.
	They just go, yeah, we looked into it and you're fine.
	Here's the 200 bucks.
	It's more expensive for me to hire lawyers and stuff to get your 200 than to just give you 200 out of my pocket.
	If it happens like 10 times, I'm going to start being suspicious.
	When I lived in Brooklyn, I remember I saw a sign and it was in my lobby, probably basically the same place that yours is.
	And it said, my bicycle seat was stolen from this hallway.
	I use my bike for work every day.
	I can't make a living without it.
	Have a heart.
	Please bring it back.
	No questions will be asked.
	And I would laugh at that note every day because I just thought, how fucking naive can you be?
	You think the thief is going to go, I didn't realize you used your bike for work.
	Hmm.
	Okay, I'm going to come back and give you the bike.
	But you promise you won't call the cops on me?
	Ridiculous.
	Yeah, that works.
	What the fuck are they thinking?
	Like the guy's going to start sweating?
	It's being investigated?
	Shit, they're on to me.
	Even if you told the cops, you went to the police and you said, this guy in apartment 3C stole my box.
	Maybe, maybe they'll go knock on his door.
	But if they open his door and he says, no, I didn't, that's the end of the case.
	They're not going to get a warrant.
	Anyway, sorry.
	You know, in that same lobby, this was in Brooklyn.
	It was 167 Grand Street, I believe.
	And I'm coming down my, we were one of four apartments, loft apartments in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
	And I'm coming down the stairs.
	I had an, I think my first kid was born, a baby.
	And there's all these Puerto Rican kids in the hallway.
	And I go, what the fuck's going on here?
	Like seven of them.
	And they go, what?
	I go, you're not, no, no, no, no.
	Donald Trump is not going to be president.
	You're not smoking pot in the hallway of a place you don't even fucking live in.
	And we got kids here.
	No, I'm not smelling pot wafting up my hallway.
	I go, get the fuck out of here.
	And I start sort of pushing them out.
	But you got to understand with a lot of black and Puerto Rican kids in New York, they don't have a father figure.
	So they don't fear old men the way we do because we relate to our dads.
	They don't even fear cops.
	One time with CR-TV, I was interviewing people and I had the CR-TV mic, and these black kids started surrounding me and they looked like they were going to try to steal my camera.
	And I go, hey, get the fuck back.
	You got to nip it in the bud.
	It's like prison.
	And they go, yo, what are you going to do about it?
	I go, are you stupid?
	CR-TV cops?
	Cop.
	I forget what I used for the R. Cop something TV.
	We're cops.
	And then that did nothing at all.
	I lied.
	I said I was a police officer.
	I worked for some cop TV show.
	And they just kept encroaching.
	And we had to do like, get back to get.
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	So when I said, get the fuck out of here, that works with white kids.
	It doesn't work with Puerto Ricans.
	They just start going, what you going to do, bitch?
	And then I'm like, I guess I'm going to try to beat up eight guys, eight teenagers.
	So I'll tell you what I did.
	I was a pussy and I saw a cop car outside and I told him that these kids are a problem.
	Now that doesn't seem like very cool.
	It's not very Chuck Zito of me.
	But if I fought them and I won, now they've been humiliated.
	Now I've started a thing with the gangs in that neighborhood where DDP, Dominicans don't play.
	There was lots of bloods.
	They have to cut your face for initiation.
	There was the Trinitarios on South 5th.
	Now I'm in their world.
	If I get the cops involved, the cops go over, ask questions, I ask to CID.
	Those kids didn't even live in Williamsburg, I don't think.
	They were there.
	I don't know what they were there doing.
	Picking up weed from a bigger dealer.
	Now they know that I'm a bitch, and I call the cops, and it's too much heat, so don't bother that old guy with the beard.
	And I never said to me again.
	So that's a time that you can rely on the police when they're right there and the bad guy's right there.
	But when your package, what the fuck was in your package?
	A bell?
	Did you have a bell?
	Did someone steal your bell?
	Also in the news, I don't get stealing packages.
	You should see my last few orders.
	I couldn't imagine anyone wanting them.
	I guess junkies steal it and they try to sell it.
	But when you're selling weird shit like a plumbing clamp and a fucking kids, I bought, you know, that cards against humanity.
	I got one recently.
	It was like kids against maturity.
	It's a family-friendly version of that game.
	No one wants that.
	And if you're a junkie and you try to sell it, you might get a penny.
	Probably not.
	I know this isn't what you want.
	And I'm sorry.
	I guess around Christmas time, it's good to steal because you'll probably get toys.
	And if you're so broke that you're stealing shit, your kids will probably be happy with anything at all.
	All right.
	We don't have an Antifa bumper.
	We've got a great letters bumper.
	I'm very excited to play.
	But just imagine an Antifa bumper.
	And please, Antifa BLM, can you send it to us?
	What should we call it this segment?
	Antifa BLM.
	Black Lives Matter, so does Antifa.
	We care about the revolution.
	Yeah.
	So there's a big rally going down on Saturday in two days.
	And the MAGA humiliated the BLM and Antifa at the last thing, the Millia MAGA march.
	So they're saying, well, let's get retribution this time, but we need an army.
	So what do we do?
	We pay them.
	National Justice Exclusive HR managers and college professors are paying Antifa to attack Trump supporters this Saturday.
	And there's the guy we had on the show.
	It's funny how many, how current our show is.
	We were at Max Public Alehouse first.
	We got that guy the day after he was hit.
	Kai Brow, a gender studies professor at Stony Brook University, collects the money on behalf of the Riot Safety Fund.
	According to their website, the organization specializes in transporting left-wing paramilitary groups to and from events, which is why they all have backpacks on.
	While also providing them with bail, food, and quote-unquote safety gear.
	Bro has dispersed tens of thousands of dollars in logistical support through this fund to Antifa rioters in New York City and Washington, D.C. since last May.
	Why is this bitch not arrested?
	Max and John are in prison because Antifa attacked them and appeared to have to attack them.
	They were acting weird that night.
	They weren't responding to anything.
	They were picking fights all night as though there was some sort of a bounty on our heads.
	And they finally got one.
	Is that it?
	What is that thing?
	Angry.
	With a weird ear.
	Is that a lesbian with stubble?
	Wow, you really do know how to defy genders.
	I'm lost.
	What's the ear doing there?
	What happened to your cauliflower?
	Were you an MMA?
	It was an MMA guy who turned into a weak lesbian.
	That's a fucked-up looking ear.
	Is that a wrestling ear?
	What is that thing?
	I've never seen a cauliflower ear do that.
	I've never seen a cauliflower ear on a pussy.
	That's bananas.
	What's some other pictures of Kai?
	Hey, Kai was one of the people that was arrested the night of my talk.
	Not that Kai, but another Kai.
	I think Kai's a big trans name.
	Put in Kai Brew gender studies.
	Maybe that's not even him.
	Maybe that's an article that it wrote about someone.
	Oh, always put names in quotes.
	Oh, excuse me.
	Yeah, I think you got the right guy.
	Thing.
	What a weirdo.
	Don't you see a lot of malicious anger in those eyes, too?
	Like, help!
	I'm drowning.
	I'm drowning.
	Well, you shouldn't have got in there in the first place.
	He looks like he watches people die.
	And I'm just guessing with the he in a call to action published earlier today on Twitter, Christian Exu, aka anti-fash Gordon, how is that guy still alive?
	He's ruined like 50 people's lives.
	And he's being sued for this.
	And he's still out there just fucking fighting fascism.
	Christian Exu asked people to donate to the Riot Safety Fund in order to aid anarchists looking to counter the pro-Trump rally, which he characterizes as fascist.
	There's got to be some retribution for this, but there won't be.
	There won't be because you go, well, they should get arrested.
	They should get sued.
	They're part of the justice system.
	These are all different tiers.
	There's the anti-fascists, anti-fascist protesters, as they're called, which are the paramilitary wing.
	They get bail.
	They get instant lawyers.
	They probably get travel money.
	They maybe make $100 that day.
	Maybe half of them.
	Above that are these weird lesbian lawyers who hand out the, and academics, who hand out this...
	No, no, sorry.
	Antifa, the weird lesbian lawyers are there.
	And they're calling the shots.
	They have foremen.
	They have people on phones going, move over there, sort of the sergeants, the lieutenants.
	They're handling it.
	They're the foreman of the riot, right?
	And the lesbians are handing out the signs and stuff.
	Then above them, you have the academics who raised the money, helped supply the money, got it from George Soros Foundation, whatever, and started distributing it to the lesbian lawyers to set up.
	And then up here, you have the prosecutors who will defend them, the judges, and then up here you have the DNC, you have Cuomo.
	This is all the same pile of shit, all of these people.
	So when you see crimes like someone raising money for a riot, who are you going to call?
	Ghostbusters?
	That's the shit world we're living in.
	There's Christian Xu getting people fired because he decides they're racist and bosses are such pussies that they get a call from this faggot and they go, no problem, he's gone.
	Pathetic.
	I mean, you know something's wrong when someone does illegal behavior like that, gets caught and nothing happens to them.
	Meanwhile, John and Max fight back and get four years.
	All right, are you ready for our next topic of the day?
	We've got some racism to get to.
	Are you psyched?
	Yep.
	Let's do this, you guys.
	Let's do it.
	Let's talk about racism that was racist, guys.
	This is my last shirt of flannel week.
	I have a lot of tartan ones, but I think I want to move to Christmas sweaters for the remaining days.
	We've only got like eight more episodes till Christmas, I believe.
	And I think I have eight Christmas sweaters.
	We'll see.
	Don't get your hopes up.
	Nobody can do that like me.
	I disagree.
	Nuka Zeus posted something on his Instagram.
	I'm addicted to this low IQ white male who painted himself black.
	I just thought this one was a new level of irony.
	And this guy, I'm not ruling out the possibility that he's copper cabbing it, but get out of belief, step into the age of knowing.
	How about if you believed you're black?
	Like, dude, you're not knowing.
	You don't even know that you're not black.
	Your entire existence is 100% predicated on the belief that you were born the wrong race.
	You're transracial.
	So if you step out of belief, the party's over and you don't exist.
	Look, he's got all this shit about being told to go back to Africa.
	Racists don't want you to go back to Africa.
	You're whiter than Sean King.
	He doesn't put up many pictures of himself.
	Oh, you just passed one.
	There we go.
	This guy says, step out of belief and into the knowing.
	But I got a solution for that.
	Solution for that.
	Anyway, I just thought that was indicative of a lot of things on the left where they say things like, we need to start being more authentic and less hypocritical.
	And you're like, you're being like Joe Rogan.
	I think it's fucked up that Gavin McInnes and Milo Yiannopoulos were deplatformed.
	You did it, dude.
	Yesterday we had a black guy who gets it, and then I realized he was talking about the police, not politicians, so he didn't get it.
	So I went on a manhunt to find a black guy who gets it, and I found a black guy who gets it.
	Trucker couple.
	I guess one sleeps while the other one drives.
	I'm not sure who's driving right now, but this is my belief system in a Batman shirt.
	Everything.
	They're going to give her a house on Section 8.
	Her rent going to be $100.
	If that, that.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Her refrigerator is going to stay full.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Like, if it's, you know, she's more likely to get a car.
	Because she's going to get her tax return going to be $10,000 for a new car.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So it's like the system is set up for you not to want to do it the right way.
	That's why again I say, because the black man who is a father, who is a husband, he is up under so much pressure because he has to give his family with the compete with the government.
	The government is giving this woman by herself.
	So women ain't going to take it.
	Women going to look at it like, damn, you ain't doing that.
	Black women are so mad at black men most of the time because they're looking at them like, damn, you supposed to be providing me with all this.
	But this woman by herself, she got Uncle Sam on her top.
	She got Uncle Sam on her top.
	So how is a black man supposed to, in a system that is set up to keep us down, how is a black man supposed to compete with that?
	Thank you.
	That's it for my racism section.
	And now we're off to Election Gate, where we meet our friend Andrew.
	God, I miss that guy.
	He was so fucking fun.
	What an exciting dude he was.
	People just assumed he was on Adderall and Cocaine.
	I never saw him do either.
	And if he's a good guy and he's doing Coke, he's going to ask if you want to bump.
	He was just didactic, as Woody Allen would say.
	I thought this was a funny tweet.
	The New York Post today, kiss, kiss, fang, fang.
	I think Did You Bang Fang Fang is funnier.
	Uh oh.
	I should probably hide that phone number.
	And then we have the Hunter tax probe.
	Biden's son investigated for China cash.
	Look at this.
	Looks like it's going down for poor little Hunter.
	And I always wondered that, too, when they go, the big guy gets half, meaning Biden gets half.
	How does he get half?
	Look, you fucking arrogant Zoomers go, you don't know how to launder money.
	It's really easy.
	No, it's not.
	I don't care if you sent the money to Africa and they send it back to you.
	The tax man still goes, you got half a million dollars from the Congo.
	What's that about?
	If I gave you $5 million cash, right?
	I don't know how you pay your rent without the IRS wondering.
	I don't know how you buy a car without the IRS wondering.
	You could go out to dinner a lot.
	That works.
	And just say that you ate groceries at home.
	That might work.
	But you buy a fucking gigantic TV.
	People are, the IRS is going to start asking questions.
	They need to know where your money comes from.
	It's not fucking easy.
	There's basically traveling, which is iffy, going out for dinner, buying jewelry that you keep.
	That's basically buying jewelry in cash.
	So drug dealers will buy a Jesus piece.
	They'll have a room full of money.
	They'll buy their mom's a Range Rover.
	And then they're kind of fucked.
	So I'd never understood how Hunter Biden was able to give his dad 50% of his insane income.
	But this tax probe looks like it might expose it.
	And Instagram summed that up well.
	How it started.
	We don't want to waste our time or stories.
	I can't really read that.
	Can you read that?
	Want to make it bigger?
	This is all very confusing.
	I want to read that bold text.
	Because I remember them saying this.
	We don't want to waste our time.
	And I always thought it was weird to hear a news source pretend that they have limited time.
	And by the way, NPR, it's irrelevant to you, but when you look at the top 20 podcasts in America, NPR is like 11 of them.
	It's baffling.
	Anyway, we don't want to waste our time on stories that are not really stories, and we don't want to waste the listeners' and readers' time on stories that are just pure distractions.
	Really, the president's son?
	And it's not like he got hacked and we saw some revenge porn, although we did see that.
	It was major deals, emails with the big guy, deals with China, all kinds of corruption, all there for everyone to see.
	And the fact that the FBI ignored it the first time is a massive deal.
	But what does he say now?
	NPR eventually concedes, now it's on the cover of everything in the world.
	President-elect Joe Biden's son, Hunter Biden, says he was recently informed that he is under federal investigation over a tax matter.
	That's all.
	I love how they phrase that, right?
	It's like he had an unpaid tax bill.
	Cynthia Reynolds, our new favorite politician.
	I never heard of her before.
	I guess she's like a city council person in Michigan.
	She's like the Detroit rep or something.
	But you Detroiters, you Michiganites are lucky.
	You've had this woman with you all this time.
	What the fuck is she wearing again?
	I think she thinks she's some sort of gay - she's a superhero.
	Check out this colossal waste of time.
	We're investigating voter fraud here.
	And her question is.
	Okay.
	Okay, let's get started.
	Good evening.
	Good evening, Miss Johnson.
	All right.
	Your name is Jesse Jacobs.
	Jesse Jacobs.
	Is that your birth name?
	Hi.
	Okay.
	So this woman is Indian, East Indian.
	She's got an East Indian accent.
	And I think Cynthia Reynolds' push is that this woman is not who she says she is.
	It's fake.
	She's an actor.
	And you can tell, because Indians with funny, buddy accents don't have a normal name like Jesse Jacobs.
	So I'm going to expose this.
	Wait, I'm not black.
	I'm going to expose this woman as an actor, which is a retarded thing to think is going to happen.
	My first name is Jesse when I was married.
	My husband's last name is Jacob.
	When I got married in 1983, 37 years ago, I had my maiden name.
	That's my dad's house name.
	It's a long name.
	Can you spell it, please?
	K-I-K-Li-Kite-I-Z-H-A-K-E-K-E-R-A.
	Representative, what is your question, please?
	I'm asking the question.
	Well, please ask.
	She gave a lot of information.
	I just want to know who she is.
	Representative, please, it's reasonable to ask the name of the person.
	I'm with you there.
	But now that you know it.
	What was your first name?
	Jesse.
	Jesse.
	J-E-S-S-Y.
	Not E. J-E-S-S-Y.
	Thank you very much.
	Okay, now please move on to your question, Representative.
	You have sweating.
	Thank you.
	Representatives.
	He has to deal with her bullshit so much.
	He's fucking sweating.
	She's in trouble now.
	1-6, a Michigan Democratic lawmaker, has been stripped of her committee seats after issuing a warning to supporters of President Trump and others in response to receiving death threats.
	I mean, we know what's going on here.
	This woman's an affirmative action hire who's completely incompetent.
	That's the thing we played yesterday.
	She probably doesn't know what eight times seven is.
	I bet she has trouble reading comic books.
	She can't read the name Jesse Jacob.
	And now that there's all these spotlights on politicians, we're realizing how many of them are completely useless human beings.
	All right.
	Next subject.
	Moving right along, because I want to leave some time to talk to Heshy, because I love freedom fighters.
	I love people who break locks.
	I love people who say no to the bureaucrats, just like Danny Presty.
	And the fact that Heshi and Danny are together in this fight is exciting to me.
	It's Tommy Robinson's shit.
	But yeah, let's do the intro card, please.
	Feminism is cancer.
	Feminism is cancer.
	I'm a lady.
	I was so...
	Well, I'll explain the whole thing, but I was on Bill Schultz's show, and let's see if he fucks me over.
	Bill Schultz is a funny drunk that used to co-host Red Eye.
	He was like the Ryan Rivera of Red Eye on Fox News.
	That's how I met him.
	We became fast friends because we both have a very high tolerance for alcohol and other naughty things you put into your head.
	He's always had my back.
	And when I left Compound Media, he took my slot.
	And he does a show called Morning, where he's joined by Joanna Nosychinski.
	And he never tries to hit on her because he's basically a fag.
	He's always surrounded by women.
	Actually, I should take that back.
	He's basically a woman.
	Now, women, you always get mad at me by how I pronounce this, folks at home.
	Women, a woman, a woman.
	Women, fuck you.
	Women are agreeable and they say yes to everything.
	So I was on a show with this chick.
	She's a Jew with Crohn's disease who used to date Kurt Metzger.
	And Kurt Metzger and Sherrod Small had a show called Race Wars.
	Kurt moved to LA.
	He hangs out with that catty daddy guy, Kyle Dunnegan.
	And they do really funny shit in YouTube.
	But Sherrod Small stuck with his ex-girlfriend.
	So now it's her and Sherrod Small.
	I forget her name.
	And, you know, we always have the same argument.
	I always say, you'd be happier at home.
	You should have had kids.
	She says she's a writer.
	I go, you're not a writer.
	You're a copywriter.
	That's not a writer.
	Just like hidden figures.
	They were not scientists.
	They were math janitors.
	You're basically a word janitor when you were a copy editor.
	You go, Gatorade, we have a new delicious flavor out.
	It's really good.
	You're going to love it.
	Come on down to Gatorade.
	It's the thirst that needs you.
	New hot orange flavor in stores now.
	Is that writing?
	Do you know any copywriters?
	Did Denny bounce off the top of your head?
	No.
	Anyway, so we were on the show and we had a thing And she appeared on Bill's show to discuss having me on her show.
	So this is getting a little nepotistic here.
	But let's see what she has to say.
	Because I'm going to test Bill here.
	Bill's my pal.
	I sort of know Joanne.
	She's cool, but I wouldn't be mad if she stabbed me in the back.
	And this chick I could care less about.
	But if he stabs me in the back, I'm going to fucking kill him.
	I'm going to turn him black and make him do stupid commercials.
	Well, and also, Karen, speaking of he whose name will never be said again.
	What is his accent?
	Speaking.
	Bugged him.
	Bill, why?
	I finally listened to the episode that you and Sherrod had with Gavin McGinnis.
	So fucking good.
	What was your takeaway from that?
	Because it sounded like at the beginning of the episode, you were just sort of ready to roll up your sleeves and go at it with Gavin.
	But you guys found some common ground on some stuff, actually.
	Oh, yeah, we did.
	Well, Gavin, the people that...
	Followers of anything, followers of anything, especially something with like a little bit of nuance.
	Like Gavin doesn't.
	I know where this is going already.
	And women do this stuff where they say things that sound good that have no evidence whatsoever to back them up.
	Like a common chick thing to say is, you know, there's people on this side, there's people on this, that side, and the answer is probably somewhere in the middle.
	What are you talking about?
	What specific thing you're talking about?
	Give me a specific example of what you're talking about.
	There's people that want to rape everyone that moves, and there's people who cut their dicks off, and the answer is somewhere in the middle.
	Get married and have a family.
	What?
	Like, what you're saying is called rhetoric.
	It means nothing.
	But here she's going to say that I have nuance and my followers don't.
	Credit for having some nuance and like a little bit of depth.
	But the people who follow him have none of that whatsoever.
	The entire message gets lost in translation.
	They are the absolute worst.
	And he kind of doesn't not encourage.
	This is a thing about Israelis, too.
	Once they find out that you support Israel, which I do, all bets are off.
	They love you.
	You're untouchable, which is silly.
	You can still hate me if I support Israel, if you're Israeli.
	But who are my followers?
	What does that mean?
	Does she mean proud boys?
	Are proud boys hanging on my every word?
	I don't have followers, you silly cow.
	And I don't have followers on social media.
	I'm banned from social media.
	So who is she talking about?
	People that like my show and are mean to her on social media?
	Like, give me examples.
	Pull up stuff on the screen.
	And the thing that was interesting talking to Gavin was like, so Gavin's this angry dude, right?
	He's not really racist.
	He's a family guy.
	Like, he's funny.
	He's intelligent.
	He's thoughts up through, but he's an angry dude.
	And he's pretty reasonable about a lot of stuff, actually.
	That's like, that's the thing about Gavin.
	He's like, I'm so misunderstood.
	And he is so misunderstood.
	But he's so mad at women.
	That was the thing that, because I was like, we're agreeing.
	Where are we going to disagree?
	I knew he was going to come after my eggs.
	This guy cannot leave your eggs alone.
	I've never understood.
	He's like, what's going on with pause?
	Pause it.
	Pause, pause, pause.
	I've never understood it.
	Why would I be about someone's eggs?
	I don't know, because I talk to these women when they get older and they're fucking miserable.
	I don't know where Joanne Nosychinski is with her boyfriend.
	He used to be fat.
	Now he's thin.
	But she's getting up there in age.
	Her days are numbered.
	Bill has no family.
	No wife.
	No future.
	What does he do?
	He drinks himself into a stupor every night and wets the bed.
	I do too, but at least I have a family.
	And this chick, she let her ovaries dry up with Kurt Metzger and she'll never have a family.
	But I'm happy.
	Yeah, you think you're happy because you're like Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Handler.
	You're trained, you're genetically predisposed to be agreeable and think everything's fine.
	You don't know joy until you've had kids.
	And you don't know depression until it's absolutely not happening.
	Actually, we should talk about that sex in the city after this and what feminism has done to these women's ovaries.
	I forgot I had a segment on that.
	But go ahead.
	And look, they think I care about their eggs the way I care about someone's vas deferens or their urethra.
	It's just a random part of a body I won't shut up about.
	I'm trying to make you happy.
	I've seen all the women my age, all the 50-year-olds who didn't have kids, I've seen them cry.
	I hear them downstairs talking to my wife, bawling their fucking eyes out.
	I want to prevent that for you and you.
	I sort of want to prevent it for you, but I'm not really concerned about it.
	Which is none of your goddamn business, first of all.
	But also, like, that was the part that got me about Gavin, right?
	Where I was like, he was like, well, you, you know, the prime of your life is over.
	And it's like, homie, do you have eyes?
	Do you not see me?
	I am in the prime of my life right now.
	But furthermore.
	I appreciate your confidence.
	I wasn't talking about your looks.
	I'm talking about your biology.
	She's probably like 33 or something now.
	She looks great.
	Black don't crack.
	Neither does whatever color Jews are.
	But no, our glass at 30 turns upside down.
	The sand is going.
	30 to 35 is the final stretch.
	Now, if you're going to find a man, fall in love, get married, decide this is time, that's like a three-year thing, usually, minimum.
	Now we're up to 35, 36.
	You'd be lucky to have one.
	One is boring.
	I was a single child till I was 14.
	You build a garage for your matchbox cars.
	You use your G.I. Joe's till the arms and legs fall off.
	Then you're just moving torsos around.
	It blows.
	My parents finally made me a brother when I was 14.
	Too late, assholes.
	So your best case scenario is only child.
	No, I don't have kids right now.
	No, I don't.
	And part of that is a choice.
	And part of that's kind of like how my life is.
	And why would you go out of your way?
	Let's say I was upset about it, which I'm not.
	Why would you go out of your way to make someone feel bad for something that is kind of just how...
	Wait, whatever happened to my fans and how they're the worst people in the world?
	She doesn't have to prove that.
	She can just throw that out there.
	Now it's back to ovaries.
	And we think she doth protest too much.
	And I'm obviously not trying to make her feel bad.
	Ha ha, your ovaries are dried up.
	Who does that?
	No one does that.
	What I'm trying to say is you have a platform.
	You're pushing this bullshit agenda that women will never need kids, never want kids.
	That's bad for you.
	And it's bad for all the thousands of people you're talking to right now.
	I'm trying to help.
	Why is it so important to you to be mean to someone about their own life that doesn't concern you?
	If someone weighed 600 pounds, I would call them a fat fuck.
	And that's for their own good.
	I wouldn't laugh and roll them down a hill, although it would be tempting.
	I would say, dude, look at you, you fat fuck.
	You're dying.
	You're dying.
	Now, what's the motive there?
	The motive there is to wake the guy up.
	Get your shit together.
	Get your life together.
	You're throwing it away, you fucking dork.
	I've given this a lot of thought because I've heard this fucking shit for, God, how long have I known him?
	Almost 15 years.
	And it has nothing to do.
	You know what Bill does?
	The only time Bill has a good life is when his brother and his brother's wife and their kids go on vacation and Bill go gets to live in his apartment in Williamsburg and have a gay old time.
	Do you?
	Certainly don't take it personally, although I can see why you would.
	Gavin is obviously a very angry man.
	And the reason Gavin's angry is because while he did well with the ladies early on in life, when he really got his fame, when things really started going, he was already locked in a marriage that I don't necessarily know he's happy about.
	And because he's so upset with some of the choices that he's made.
	And again, I love Gavin.
	I am here because of Gavin.
	He recommended me for this job.
	Sorry.
	But he's very angry about some of his life choices.
	And so instead of just accepting that, he throws it.
	Normally we introduce, but I'll get to it in a second.
	Go ahead, sit down.
	By the way, nice cologne.
	He projects it onto the women that are single.
	Stop.
	Okay.
	Let me explain something to you, Bill.
	In 1988, I was in a band.
	Do you know what being the singer of a band does for pussy?
	It is a flood.
	It is the Katrina of pussy.
	You are wading in it up to your waist.
	It's too much pussy.
	That's at 18.
	Okay?
	I was in two bands, sang for two bands, all the way from 18 to like 22, right?
	Then I started Vice at 24.
	Vice struggled a little bit at the beginning, but about two years in, I was the owner, the publisher of the hipster magazine of Montreal.
	Montreal, which is the horror capital of the world, I had chlamydia, gonorrhea.
	I never got crabs.
	I can't believe it.
	Herpes.
	I still have herpes to this day.
	Drowning in boontang.
	Then vice got bigger in the later 90s.
	That's when raving was big.
	Girls were doing GHB, MDMA, more pussy.
	Before I moved to New York, hundreds of chicks I had fucked.
	Hundreds.
	Then we get to 2000.
	We're in New York City.
	Drowning in Poon then.
	By the time I got married, which was 05, I was good.
	I was actually a little disgusted with myself.
	I was fucking so much pussy.
	I was adding little handicaps.
	Like, let's see if we can fuck two Jennifers in a row.
	One time I did, this took a lot of organizing, a lot of phone calls, five Asians in five days.
	Now that was like one's going to fly in on Tuesday, then I can meet this one and then Wednesday her, and then she's visiting New York on Friday.
	It wasn't easy, but that was how bored I was.
	One time I noticed I was fucking someone to the tune of the song.
	It was like a ska song.
	So the idea that I wish I could be out there if my fame hit.
	My fame, when I met him, my fame was, I've always been fucking famous.
	It's gay and boring.
	It's not special.
	The only good thing about it is pussy.
	And I've been getting pussy since I had a dick, basically.
	Well, that's a slight exaggeration.
	Since I was 18.
	This guy gets no pussy.
	All he does is hang out with chicks.
	Chicks are around him everywhere he goes.
	And you know what he does with them?
	He gossips his ass off and laughs and then gets so drunk he wets himself.
	Doesn't fuck anyone.
	He'll go like months without pussy.
	So is the implication that I'm jealous of him?
	I'm jealous of single men?
	No, I look at single men.
	I go, guys, you had a great run.
	My run was way too long.
	Especially when you include partying.
	It was like 14 to 35.
	What?
	That's 20 years.
	Over 20 years of coke and pot and wheat and acid and pussy and 69, 69 and orgies and threesomes and Jesus Christ.
	How long do you want to live in Babylon for?
	How about 10 years of Babylon?
	How about 14 to 24?
	Can we cut it in half?
	This guy still lives there.
	He has a fucking dirty apartment in Babylon.
	And the implication that I resent being married, I resent my wife.
	I am still madly in love with my wife.
	The only problem with my wife is she doesn't wear lingerie 24 hours a day and beg to blow me every time she sees me.
	In other words, my only problem with my wife is I can't get enough of her.
	And my three cherubic children that I worship the ground they walk on, that's what this is all about.
	I'm with my kids and I compare it to doing Coke all night with Bill and I'm like, these aren't even in the same universe.
	Stop doing Coke all night.
	Get a kid.
	I go to the driving range with my seven-year-old.
	He hits it 50 yards and I go, what?
	Did you just hit it into the fourth dimension?
	And I can see how proud he is of himself and how happy it is he is that I'm impressed with him.
	I kiss him up.
	Every night I give my kids force fields.
	I go, I've been doing it since they were all born.
	So my daughter's 14 now.
	So I've been doing it for 14 years.
	And the air dries it.
	It gets all the air out.
	The vacuum seals the force field.
	So it's just a blob when I put it around you.
	But then when I go back to the neck and I go, it goes.
	And now you can move around and you can be more mobile as you sleep.
	You don't have to worry about this big blob around you.
	And the force field protects you from bad dreams and monsters.
	And the 14-year-old obviously doesn't believe in it anymore, but it's a nice tradition that we've had since she was born.
	And that's a hell of a lot more fucking satisfying than getting a cat drunk.
	Like, come on, guys.
	I'm trying to share my joy.
	The theory that I really, I wish I could fuck more, because I only fucked for 20 years, 18, 28, 38, maybe a little less.
	15 years of threesomes wasn't enough is retarded.
	And to disparage my wife and think that I resent her, I mean, come on, Bill.
	I'm making you into a pathetic mulatto who hawks old Navy shit.
	You dick.
	About his life choices.
	That's the thing.
	That's so real and I feel that.
	Like, Gavin doth protest too much.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's such a classic dog.
	Like, put your eggs in your head like, homie, get your dick out of my eggs.
	Like, you know, I don't know if there was ever a time I would have like been.
	Actually, yes, of course there was a time I would have been into Gavin.
	My dad used to eat anything.
	Karen, obviously, but not now.
	Now he's like, you know, Karen, I like to take Gavin's suggestions for our lives as like the best compliments.
	Like, you think I would make a good wife and mother?
	Really?
	You wait to know.
	You want these genes to procreate?
	I mean, I'm flattered that you want more scoliocious ridden bodies in this world.
	But here's the other thing, too.
	People don't seem to grasp this.
	These three people, maybe even him, are the end of a lineage of hundreds of thousands of years.
	I mean, that's pretty drastic.
	Out of all the cavemen shit and the Dust Bowl and World Wars, the Schultzes and the No Sychinskis and the whatever she is, the Hebovitz, Goldbergs, World War II, the Holocaust.
	So they survive it all, and then it's your turn.
	Like, I just wanted to do shats.
	Like, that's what you're throwing away.
	That's what I think is so drastic.
	And Joanne's joke is the truth.
	And the other thing, too, is she's like, why doesn't he want to talk about anything else?
	I've spoken to her for a long time.
	I don't really credit her as being equal to me as far as politics and philosophy or any kind of, you know, pop culture analysis.
	So instead of sitting here and talking about Buchanan's book, The Unnecessary War, or things that are just sitting there going, Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, 2, 2, I look at her and I go, hey, you should have made babies.
	You still can.
	You better get on it.
	You should take it seriously.
	Just like if I see a little kid, I go, what do you like?
	Spider-Man or Batman?
	Oh, I like Spider-Man better.
	Batman doesn't even have any powers.
	Okay, bye, little kid.
	Of Joanne reproducing just makes me want to yell out abort on repeats.
	Abort!
	Abort!
	Abort!
	Even the kid's five.
	Is that the end?
	All right.
	Well, I think we're preparing myself to show you the punishment that I have allotted, bequeathed to Bill Schultz.
	Wait for it now.
	Bill Schultz, you have a ridiculous, shitty theory that's sad.
	It's also disloyal to me as a friend.
	It also shits on my wife, which is a deal breaker for me.
	So fuck you.
	Enjoy your life as a retarded mulatto who sells old Navy shit.
	Black Friday.
	Thanks, Bill.
	It's ironic that his lack of family life and the fact that he just sort of sits in his shitty apartment getting wasted all day has led him to have no loyalty and, you know, no courage, no character.
	And so he's happy to throw me under the bus and pretend I hate my wife.
	And if he had been married and did have kids, he wouldn't do shit like that.
	I look at my enemies and people trying to fuck my life up, and they're always single.
	I don't think I've ever had a family man with kids try to fuck up my life.
	It's always some cunt who's mad that their life sucks.
	Probably 80% of the time, female, too.
	Speaking of females, why do I get my dicks up in your ovaries?
	Well, let's look at 3-2.
	This is Lena.
	Oh, no, no.
	Let's jump ahead.
	3-3.
	Sex in the City.
	Sex in the City was a show about how you don't need a man.
	Talk to the hand.
	Candice Bushnell created it, and it was about the importance of just being a fucking whore and spending your money on expensive shoes.
	And what happened to her?
	She turned old and realized she didn't have kids and said, what the fuck have I done?
	Why is it a Taylor Swift thing?
	This is my new pet peeve.
	Stop sticking things in articles that aren't related to the article.
	It's like an ad for another thing.
	Did it?
	Go back.
	Restart this URL.
	Did it ever have a relevant video there?
	Why do they do that?
	That's her.
	And you press play.
	And what do you get?
	Taylor Swift.
	Fuck you.
	That's really irritating.
	Anyway, scroll down.
	When I was in my 30s and 40s, I didn't think about it.
	Then, when I got divorced and I was in my 50s, I started to see that the impact of not having children and of truly being alone.
	I do see that people with children have an anchor in a way that people who have no kids don't.
	This is the bitch.
	How many lives has she ruined?
	How many women did she rip out of Middle America and stick Into New York City, who just like sucked dicks and bought shoes and then went, What the fuck have you done?
	I mean, she might be guilty of war crimes because all of those women's lives she ruined, they don't have kids, so those kids won't have kids.
	So she's basically Mao.
	She's responsible for the deaths of millions.
	Millions of lives don't exist because of that silly bitch.
	And outside of Sarah Jessica Parker, who's married to Ferris Bueller, they're all miserable.
	They're all broke.
	They're all lost.
	Especially, I think, the sluttiest one.
	It's like God wanted to send a signal.
	Who's the real whore?
	Samantha, I think her name is.
	She's divorced.
	Wow, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like shizzit.
	And here's a perfect example of these fat and lonely feminists who didn't have kids.
	Now, this woman had all her shit ripped out of her, but even if she didn't, she would have been in this situation.
	Lena Dunham.
	Lena Dunham, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler.
	They're all the same.
	This is their lives.
	Go ahead, scroll down.
	Fat and alone.
	Hideous, fat, disgusting.
	Covered in weird blemishes.
	Disgusting, horrible tattoos.
	Look at her.
	Spoiled rotten by boomer parents.
	I'm actually embarrassed to concede that this makes me a tiny bit horny.
	Sorry about that.
	Won't happen again.
	Just self-isolating my pod, aka my pot belly, and my sunglasses.
	Anyway, she talks about herself a whole bunch.
	But that's my motive to do this shit.
	And then finally, we should probably have another bumper that has like LGBT trans stuff.
	I don't know what, is it gay?
	Let's just call it that's gay.
	That's gay.
	Please make us a that's gay bumper, folks at home.
	So far, what do we got?
	Zach Doe and Aaron Kraft doing excellent work.
	But this one is spooky.
	Here we see a kid realizing that he's not really trans.
	He's being used by his dyke mom.
	Look at that.
	By the way, you're not a, to the lady right above my head, you're not a man.
	You're not trans.
	You're a woman with short hair married to a man.
	So you're not a trans activist.
	You're a heterosexual, I believe.
	Unless the bearded guy they're about to show her husband is like, was a woman at some point.
	The most outrageous is, the most outrageous scenario is that she's a dyke.
	But anyway, this little boy with long hair has been brainwashed to being a way for her to have an identity and sell books and get the word out, meaning spread propaganda.
	And it's just dawned on him that he's not living a kid's life.
	He's just a political pawn in her game of chess.
	And he expresses it very well.
	We're going to Washington, D.C. And we're going to be moving to the White House Pacential area to throw a book in Donald Trump's face.
	I don't think that we want to say that.
	No.
	This one is Time to Thrive, and it's for people who work with LGBTQ youth.
	We actually go and meet with our senators and representatives.
	After we do that, we go and sit and sell some.
	So I ghost wrote a book with my son.
	First, I turned my son into a chick by brainwashing him into thinking he's not just gay, but a woman.
	Then I ghost-wrote a book, and now I drag it around, I drag Z around to politicians ramming this book down their throat.
	Believe it or not, the kid has had enough.
	Is this real?
	Yeah.
	One of Avery's books for a little while.
	Avery.
	Manners.
	I just don't want to even have a book.
	I've done too much in this world.
	It's ruined my life enough.
	And now everyone in this world.
	It's possible that that dude isn't a normal dad, like I'd said at the beginning.
	It's possible it's a lesbian, but he's got fucked up ears too.
	Oh, yeah.
	Does taking testosterone fuck up your ears?
	Because it's gross.
	I don't mind if you're, what's his name, Connor McGregor's strike coach, John...
	We had him on the show a few times.
	Great guy.
	John something.
	Kavanaugh.
	I don't care if you're John Kavanaugh.
	It looks kind of cool that your ears are fucked up from endless fighting and you get insane pussy.
	But if it's from weird pharmaceuticals changing your gender, ew.
	I've done too much in this world.
	It's ruined my life enough.
	And now everyone in this world is going to know.
	If I sell my book, it's going to go on the news along with me for like the 50th time at this point.
	And it's just going to make my life worse.
	A couple years ago, he wanted people to know.
	So now the woman realizes, oh shit, this is all on camera.
	And he just said that I ruined his life.
	And look, he's doing some weird OCD thing where he rips up a napkin 800 times because of the anxiety and the stress she's putting.
	Can she go to jail, please?
	Can we get my friends out of jail and start throwing in these people who fund riots?
	How about Kai Brew?
	Kai Brew, who's raised tens of thousands of dollars to get Antifa arrested and in fights.
	Actually, to get them beat up because Prowboys are obviously not going to lose.
	And then this bitch that's dragging this poor teenager around, making him a sexuality.
	Sexuality involves sex.
	Kids shouldn't have a sexuality because they don't have sex yet.
	And it's just going to make my life worse.
	A couple years ago, he wanted people to know.
	Yeah, I did, but now that was a really stupid, silly mistake, and now I don't.
	Yeah, that's something.
	I'm going to go pack now.
	I'm going to go pack now for our shitty.
	I'm going to watch.
	I don't want to go on.
	So you're watching child abuse.
	Child abuse, the revolution will be televised.
	You're watching children get abused.
	And it's entertainment.
	How sinister is that?
	We're sitting here enjoying paying HBO money, I assume that's HBO, to watch children get abused.
	This sounds like what happened at the beginning of the decline of the Roman Empire.
	They probably did the same thing, they probably tortured and manipulated 10-year-old boys, made them sexual.
	The next thing you know, Rome is burning.
	That's where we're headed, folks.
	Or maybe we're already there.
	All right, let's jump to the COVID segment.
	If your language requires a paintbrush to write, your language sucks.
	Your language is stupid.
	Fucking Chinese.
	Chinese virus comes from China.
	Chinese asshole.
	Just keep your hands off my dog.
	Can you see the pussy patrol monitoring that saying it says fag in one of his segments and he bitches about China and then he implies they're going to eat his dog?
	So you showed me something earlier.
	A speech with a guy from Staten Island talking about Pete.
	Why can't I never remember his last name?
	Pete Davidson.
	Why can't I remember Davidson?
	I don't know.
	I wish they were Pete Best.
	Who's Pete best?
	I think he was the one that got kicked out of the Rolling Stones or the Beatles.
	Or the Beatles.
	Yeah.
	Have you noticed that?
	There's certain names that you just can't fit into your head.
	Like Jesse Jacobs.
	I have nothing but respect for the NYPD and other law enforcement.
	There he is.
	I think when you find at the end of the investigation, you will find that I did nothing wrong.
	And I have nothing but respect for NYPD and other law enforcement.
	Thanks for coming out today.
	That's his lawyer, and that's Keith, the guy we had on the show.
	Somebody asked about the SNL thing.
	This is our...
	I'm Keith McLaughlin, a lifelong Stan Islander.
	I have a fiancé and three kids.
	We are a regular blue-collar family.
	Like every Irish kid I ever dreamed, like every Irish kid, all I ever dreamed was opening my own pub.
	While other people were dreaming of being firemen or police officers, I always dreamed of being a bar owner.
	We worked hard pouring in our life savings, and after three months, we got shut down by an arbitrary set of rules.
	I respect COVID.
	I don't respect the corruption, overreach, and arbitrary color zones that are killing all my friends' establishments here and across the country.
	The fact we are all come out here today, you will find that we are...
	So he's in an orange zone.
	It can't be a coincidence that the orange zone is also a big Trump zone.
	But the problem is there's a lot of cases.
	This is what Howard Stern would say.
	It's the cases.
	We got to stop the pandemic.
	It's a pandemic.
	Okay.
	Yes, the cases may be up in that area.
	I don't give a shit.
	What are the deaths?
	Because there's a million reasons for cases going up.
	A guy at the gym today was saying, we have more viruses in our body, virus cells, than human cells.
	So if you spin the centrifugal force, if you centrifuge blood enough, you'll find infinite viruses.
	So the way they got rid of SARS, this is, I'm getting my scientific facts from the boxing gym, from people who talk like that guy.
	But that doesn't mean it's not true.
	The way they got rid of SARS is they stopped spinning it so much.
	So they got less viruses.
	The same way we said with Vietnam, we won, we're leaving now.
	You just like investigate less.
	You try less.
	And the less you spin the blood, the less viruses you determine.
	The more you spin the blood, the more viruses you find.
	That could be one of the reasons for cases.
	Could also be what we were talking about yesterday, where union guys are getting tested every day and it's coming up as a new thing every day.
	There's a million reasons why.
	I don't give a shit about cases.
	How are deaths doing?
	And we'll talk to Heshy about that.
	If the Jews are being so horrible, there must be Jew bodies piled 10 feet high.
	It must look like Auschwitz in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
	If they're such super spreaders.
	Well, we'll check.
	Because that's all that really matters at this point is what are the deaths.
	Like the schools.
	Our kids can't go to school.
	Really?
	There must be a lot of dead kids.
	Well, there's none.
	Oh, okay.
	Are there teachers?
	Yeah.
	Some of the teachers got it.
	Some teachers died.
	Really?
	Did they look like this disgusting fat pig?
	They just had a woman, tears everywhere.
	She was released from the hospital after nine months of COVID.
	And everyone is crying.
	They can't believe it.
	And you're looking at her going, you're fucking fat.
	This is, by the way, after nine months of eating monitored diet.
	So she was probably way fatter when this started.
	So the moral of this particular story is, don't be so fucking fat, lady.
	Don't leave yourself so vulnerable.
	I'm in such incredible shape that I can drink half a bottle of Makersmark and not even be hungover the next day.
	It's getting disturbing how incredibly powerful I am.
	Go back to that thing.
	I love these guys.
	I like that coat.
	That's why I became friends with these guys.
	That's why I jumped my head.
	I was boarding the thing the whole time.
	And I kind of almost feel like, you know, the go back to Keith.
	And arbitrary color zones that are killing all my friends' establishments here and across the country.
	The fact we are all come out here today, you will find that we are here because of Cuomo and de Blasio trying to crush the little man who dare to speak up.
	Many people's families continue to be hurt by the tyranny, and my prayers are with you with them all.
	But I will leave you with this.
	Political ambush will be figured out by our great attorneys.
	But as the owner and just a family man following the stream, this governor and mayor are not going to take my best friend and my pub.
	Out of respect to law and order, we will take the next few days to regroup.
	But I can assure the fight to reopen Max Public House and for the rest of small business owners will continue.
	The dream lives on.
	You know what I noticed about hanging out there and talking to those guys?
	Everyone has kids.
	Keith has kids.
	Danny has kids.
	Kidsity kids, kids, kids.
	In other words, they have stakes.
	They have skin in the game.
	Millionaires.
	I feel like The ignorance level is so high now that you have mega millionaires who are on the national spotlight, like the folks on Saturday Night Live.
	And instead of making fun of their friends and the local business owners who are broke and crushed and bankrupt, instead of coming down here as fellow Staten Islanders and standing up for them and bringing a positive light to this thing, what they want to do is go on national TV and try to humiliate the little man when he's down.
	And to me, that's quite disgusting.
	And as I mentioned before, my dad was a member of the NYPD.
	The king of Staten Island's dad was a proud fireman and a great friend of mine.
	And I saw Staten Islanders heavily come out and support him, his mom, his family, and everyone else in a time of need after 9-11 when I cried for his father.
	So when I hear stuff like this, it hits me emotionally when I think, wow, if you came out of your perch in your affluent neighborhood and came down here and told the liberal left this is a good thing because it's about our freedom and liberty, we probably wouldn't be standing here today talking about a political prisoner who was the victim of,
	in my view, a political ambush by the king and his henchmen.
	And that support plan tonight.
	Beautifully put.
	Also, this is a little off topic, but one thing that drives me nuts about that big tall fag is that Muslims killed his dad.
	And now he's a die-hard lefty.
	He fucking is crapping on Ann Coulter all the time because he thinks she's an Islamophobe.
	Meanwhile, maybe if our country was a little more Islamophobic, we wouldn't have had those Ahmad Atta guys going to fucking flight school in North Carolina learning how to fly planes.
	And the instructor who was showing them how to fly planes was suspicious of them as terrorists, but he didn't report it because he didn't want to seem racist.
	So maybe if we could normalize a little bit of Islamophobia, we wouldn't have terrorists coming here to train, not elsewhere, here to train to fly a plane into a fucking building.
	So fuck you, Islam.
	Fuck you, Pete Davidson.
	I don't care if you used to drum for the Beatles.
	You know, that was then.
	This is now.
	Anyway, let's get...
	So Hashi Tesla is a Jewish guy fighting for his community, but he also was at Max Public Yale House fighting for Staten Island.
	He's fighting for everyone.
	And I want to talk to him right now.
	Let's get him on the line, shall we?
	Hashi, are you there, sir?
	I am here, my friend.
	I'm here, Gavin.
	How are you?
	I'm good.
	I see you in the news fighting the good fight on a daily basis.
	You know, it's not the good fight.
	It's the right fight.
	It's the honorable fight.
	And that's what I'm doing.
	You know, people say, oh, you want to be famous.
	I'm not interested to be famous.
	I'm not interested to be mayor or governor.
	I'm interested to help my fellow citizens that I've been doing for 30 years.
	And now I'm stepping up.
	Yes, I think city council will be the way to get into the inside, which I've never been before.
	And I'm going to start screaming from the inside and showing the people and making changes and stopping this craziness.
	It's crazy.
	You know, they just raised our taxes again when we can't even afford it.
	They raised our penalties on taxes.
	And you know what the Mayan governor says?
	Too bad.
	We need the money.
	It's you who shut my city down.
	It's you who caused the problems.
	You know, let the people run it.
	We've been running this city so long.
	It was going well till these two, I'm apologizing to you, Gavin, stepped in idiots and messed things up.
	Things were going smooth.
	They just should have sat in their offices and stayed away from us.
	Let's take a step back here.
	So I see you as the guy who's fighting on behalf of a lot of Orthodox and Hasidic Jews for the right to have religious gatherings.
	And de Blasio and Cuomo are cracking down on your community because they've decided that you're flaunting the COVID restrictions, correct?
	I am fighting for all communities, number one, churches, synagogues, and mosques.
	And he's stepping on my community.
	He's picking on our community because he always thought we'd be quiet and we wouldn't fight back.
	You know, a lot of the Christians, they scream and holler.
	The pastors, the churches, people in different communities, they actually, when they get tortured, they fight back.
	The Jews just were quiet.
	Well, now I'm telling to people, step up.
	Our movement to continue.
	We're not going to be quiet anymore.
	And it's just not the synagogues.
	It's the schools.
	It's our stores.
	We have $38 million in fines in one month in a, what, a 50-block square area?
	$38 million?
	I'm going to make sure that those fines get wiped out.
	Well, if you guys are getting fines, then I assume the 200,000 people in front of the Brooklyn Museum who were protesting the death of trans lives, I assume all those protesters got fines too.
	I'm sure that they didn't get one.
	And if you go down to areas like East New York, Manhattan, and different areas like that, you'll see that most of them maybe get one or two tickets because half of their health inspectors, the Department of Building inspectors,
	the sanitation, they're just over here attacking our neighborhood.
	Sometimes you see 10, 12 inspectors on a block, three of them traveling in packs, scaring the people.
	You have 40 sheriffs running around at night, tracking our wedding halls with guns, with guns.
	Now, just remember, there was 470 murders.
	You know how many crime has doubled in New York City, but I'll tell you what's going on, Gavin.
	We're closing our wedding halls and schools with guns while the regular criminals are out robbing, raping.
	You know, there was a rape in my office about three weeks ago almost.
	In your case, I mean, they can just do whatever they want.
	Yeah, my building was empty for about a year and a half, and we just moved into a new office.
	So Sundays were never there.
	That was the first Sunday we were there, and we had the cameras and we set up the whole place new.
	Mosabi, these guys didn't know that we moved in.
	And there was a young girl waiting for a doctor, a 14-year-old.
	And he should have seen how he grabbed them.
	We were there by luck.
	By luck.
	But this is our city.
	You can just get away with it because we're keeping them busy doing other stuff.
	And the police officers know that our leadership, our people in charge.
	I mean, if I would run my business like that, I'd be bankrupt.
	And that's why the city is $9 billion in the hall, bankrupt.
	I got to tell you, I was worried about the Jewish community early on in this when I saw a bunch of, I think they were Hasidic Jews, Hasidic and Orthodox, and they were carrying these signs that said Black Lives Matter.
	And this was maybe two months after the shooting in upstate New York, the shooting in Jersey.
	And you go, you're getting murdered by black Hebrew Israelites.
	And your first takeaway is, please don't hurt me.
	And I was worried that they don't have their fighting spirit.
	Did that annoy you to see that rally?
	Well, I'll explain to you, again, we're a quiet community.
	We don't want to cause trouble.
	The rabbis and the leadership don't want noise.
	Always.
	It's been like that since World War II, since the Nazis.
	And that's the problem.
	We don't stand up.
	We do have a couple of new fighters a couple of times throughout the year.
	Some radicals, sometimes they've lost control.
	Either they're too much to the left, too much to the right.
	So we've lost focus sometimes.
	But we do have some good leaders.
	And now the leaders are scared because of all the rabbis and other leadership people telling everybody, be quiet.
	We don't want to make noise.
	So we went out.
	There were people they supported the Black Lives Matter because they figured, hey, let's support other groups.
	Maybe, again, quietness, show our support, whether they were wrong or right.
	It looked like they looked like, please don't hurt me.
	Don't hurt me.
	Right, exactly.
	I apologize.
	That's the way we do it.
	I'm embarrassed of sometimes our schools that they'd rather have one school open and let the other 10 schools.
	Sometimes we're out for our own, but we are now bonding together.
	I'm trying to get the community together.
	Wherever I go, people say thank you to me.
	They know me.
	They're standing up.
	We're not letting the inspectors in.
	People are calling me Heshi.
	What do I do when they come?
	You know, there's a corona task force that comes and calls you and checks in your house on you and terrorizes you.
	So we're making fun of them now.
	I'm telling people, make fun of them.
	Don't let them in.
	But people are scared when they come to your house, two, three people at a time.
	And if you don't let me in, we'll arrest you.
	We'll arrest you for not answering questions.
	My God, Gavin, I'm not disappointed with my Jewish community, which I am, because we're starting to fight back.
	All my stores are open.
	I walked down 13th Avenue today.
	I went to buy Hanukkah candles with somebody.
	My stores are open.
	My restaurants are open.
	My synagogues are open.
	I'm telling people you should wear masks in the stores, but on the street, you don't have to wear a mask.
	And I want you to know, we're going to get this one.
	We're going to, this is over, I'm hoping.
	But I want to stand up against this tyranny, and we need to get rid of this mayor and governor.
	The mayor is going in a year, so it's one more year of pain.
	I'm going to give him a lot of hell till we get there.
	The governor, I'm not going to let him.
	But that mayor, once I get elected, Gavin, I promise you, even before I get into office, that man will see pain.
	Now we have this guy, new guy, Jamani Williams.
	He used to be a councilman, a normal guy.
	Once you get into power, you know what he says?
	Why should we wait for the numbers to close down the city?
	Let's close down the city.
	Once they get into power, it's bad.
	And a guy like Jamani Williams, who I believe is another prejudiced guy.
	And I'm shocked at him because he's a black guy that's been held down.
	He's a guy who had Tourette's, a guy who went to our schools, who went with us, who we worked, we got him elected.
	And now he was in a little bit of power.
	Let's shut everybody down.
	And even, he doesn't mention the Jews, but he keeps pointing to our communities.
	I don't understand.
	Let me tell you, Gavin, the Jews are not going to stand down.
	I'm going to be their leader if they want me.
	I'm not a leader.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm going to be their guide.
	I'm going to be here for them.
	And if they don't want me, my beautiful wife of 31 years who bought me donuts today, even though she screamed at me for no reason in the car, I have a witness.
	Nobody believes me.
	She actually screamed at me for no reason.
	I was driving the car.
	I don't know what I did wrong.
	But anyways, I'm telling you now, we're not going to let it happen.
	I'm going to light candles and I'm going to make a big party Sunday.
	Not with 10 people, Gavin.
	Not with 20 people.
	Minimum, 100 people.
	So if you need a donut, come on down to Brooklyn, my son.
	That's fantastic.
	So I saw the BLM signs and I thought, oh, they're capitulating.
	And then I just saw the giant bolt cutters cut through because people don't get that the Orthodox community, they live in these tiny apartments in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
	They're piled on top of each other.
	The only respite they get is summer camp where all the kids get out of the apartment and they go upstate.
	You cut that out.
	You cut out the camps.
	You're all piled on top of each other.
	So the only hope they had was the parks.
	And then they cut the parks too.
	And I love to see that bolt cutter go through.
	The park doors open.
	I thought, finally, someone's fighting back in that community.
	And once you do that, it starts a snowball effect.
	And the whole community starts fighting back.
	It only takes one lock getting cut.
	You were behind that, right?
	Well, it was 19 locks I cut.
	But yes.
	I love it.
	But yes, it was me.
	It was my bolt cutter.
	I still have it in the car.
	I carry it around with me.
	And just in case they think, you know, I heard they're making new locks that are going to be stronger, dumbbells.
	I'm a contractor.
	You're never going to hold me out.
	Trust me.
	So I promise you, nobody, Mr. De Blasio, spend as much money.
	That's why we're bankrupt because now he's going to create new locks that I can't cut.
	So what office are you running for?
	So I'm running for city council of the city of New York.
	It's one of 51 members.
	This 51 members is like the Congress to the president.
	We can override the mayor with 26 votes.
	We only have three Republicans, so I have to run as a Democrat.
	But even though my ideas are not like they're crazy left half of them, but I'm going to create an alliance and coalition of councilmen.
	I'm going to create 26 men and women, and I'm going never to allow a mayor, any mayor, to override and shut down a city without state emergencies.
	I'm going to be, you know, we don't have a recall law.
	I'm going to create legislation that we can recall our mayor.
	You're going to say, Heshey, what about governor and state?
	I can't solve all the problems.
	But if I, as long as I make New York City a safe city, you know, we have leasing companies.
	You know what a leasing company is?
	You go, instead of buying a car, you lease a car, you pay $200, $300 a month.
	And smart young men, they open up these little businesses and they're hustlers.
	They go get a car from this place, that place, and they make $500, $600 on each car and they service you.
	The big dealers don't like it because they're not making the money.
	So they went to the assembly, not to the city, to the state.
	And the state created legislation to shut down all leasing companies.
	7,000 people out of work.
	And it's unacceptable.
	And then they started to compromise.
	Well, we'll let you maybe lease, But you only can come through us.
	You can't go upstate.
	You can't go out of town.
	But we said, when we bring the cars here, you guys service it, you make the money.
	So they created legislation.
	And thank God I had a few people in the state assembly and the senate.
	And I was able to stop the legislation right before Corona.
	Temporarily.
	I've been threatened they're going to bring back the legislation.
	So I'm going to make New York City when I become councilman a safe city.
	You can run from here, can't help the state, open up a little satellite office here, and we'll screw the rest of you.
	And then I'll worry about how to fight with the Assembly and the Senate.
	I'll embarrass them till they stop that legislation.
	So are you getting criminal charges?
	Have you been arrested?
	Yes.
	They are so happy.
	Not my police officers.
	It was my 66 precinct.
	Did not want to arrest me.
	There was no tickets issued.
	I have videos.
	There was no riots.
	There was no burning or blacking.
	There was a few masks set on fire.
	The police were stationed all around.
	Matter of fact, the police, I have it on video.
	The police gave me their mic that they set up the second protest as a celebration because they asked me to break up the first protest.
	I was in bed when they asked me to come at 3 in the morning to help them break it up.
	Now, what happened was, is no tickets, no riots, all on video.
	Somebody got angry and they made a complaint.
	So the police told me, has she come in?
	We'll give you a desk appearance ticket.
	You'll go home.
	That's it.
	And again, no riots.
	Nobody was hurt.
	And police were stationed all around, 20, 30 police officers stationed on a two-block area.
	It wasn't 20 blocks.
	No marching.
	Anyways, I said, I'll turn myself in.
	I'll do it after the holiday.
	The mayor was not happy because there would be publicity and the cameras would come.
	In the middle of the night, Gavin, middle of the night, right after the holiday, because I went praise and I made sure, and I was on the phone with the commissioner two days before telling him I'm not closing one synagogue.
	Now, one synagogue closed.
	The mayor got pissed at that.
	So I kept all the synagogues open.
	I told everybody to stay open.
	Middle of the night, two warrant officers from the Bronx, completely different borough.
	Five, four detectives, seven police cars.
	Like I tell everybody the same joke.
	El Chapo didn't have so many people getting arrested.
	Yeah, it sounds like Roger Stone getting arrested.
	They chained my legs.
	They kept me coughed for four hours behind.
	My hand wouldn't let me go to the bathroom until I threatened to use the police car.
	No social distancing.
	They lost my fingerprints twice.
	So they kept me 24 hours in jail, which they could have let me out even quicker.
	This is what your mayor did.
	And what was it?
	Misdemeanor.
	A misdemeanor with no bail.
	Anyways, I helped.
	I met a lot of people in jail.
	I'm talking to them.
	I'm helping a few people.
	You know, I'm into prison reform.
	I have people living in my house that we take out of the state jails and federal jails and give them a second life.
	And I saw the way the treatment, the way the jail system with no social distancing.
	So I'm going to start working on that when I become councilman.
	And I was very upset about it.
	And now we have a trial.
	So now we might make a deal.
	They want to make me make a deal, behave myself, don't scream anymore.
	Now, remember, it's a misdemeanor.
	But the whole objective is if they're able to find me guilty after the election, the city council has a right to throw me out.
	Now, I don't think a misdemeanor they can do that with.
	So I'm asking for a speedy trial.
	And you know what the answer is, right, Gavin?
	No.
	Screw you.
	I'm going to win.
	I'm going to defend myself.
	I know.
	I'm going to be a stupid lawyer.
	I'm going to have lawyers on my side, but I know the law.
	That's why with the parks.
	That's why I went to synagogues.
	I fight the building department.
	I fight 312 government agencies.
	I know the law.
	I know the code.
	I want people there for inspections.
	I pass inspections because I make sure we're in compliance.
	So I'm just disappointed that the mayor thought it's funny.
	And you know, we had a guy arrested the other day from a bar, a bar owner.
	Did you hear about it?
	Danny Presti, the Max Public Ale House.
	A good man.
	I mean, the man has a bar.
	I mean, we have to have, I don't understand you.
	You're arresting a man while we have 400 and something murders?
	Not shootings, murders.
	I'll tell you about 2,000-something shootings.
	I don't know what to tell you.
	The cops are jumping on his car, throwing him in prison.
	But wait a minute, just one minor detail.
	You said you don't like that there's no social distancing in prison, but you're not practicing it at the synagogues.
	So my point to you is, is you're telling me I have to wear a mask.
	You're telling me I have to do a social distance.
	You're telling me I have a lockdown.
	No problem.
	I'll follow.
	Just like I told the chief when they opened my parks and then they tried to close it.
	As a chief, no problem.
	I'll comply.
	I'll close the park, even though you're wrong.
	But how come the parks in the not-Jewish neighborhoods are open?
	How come the parks in front of the mayor's mansion is open?
	But my park and Jewish neighborhood is closed.
	And then when I open the park, Gavin, he sends his health commissioner to make a press conference with 30 press people not social distance.
	So either I follow the rule or don't follow the rule, but there's no double standard.
	My name is not Gavin, whatever, idiot from California and scared of you.
	You're not going to go out and do one thing and tell me to do another thing.
	I promise you, I'm a big man, I'm smart, and it's never going to happen.
	And Mr. Fauci, your friend, tell him not to come get hot dogs and Nathan's because I'm not going to let him.
	Okay, so we'll wrap this up.
	I'm sorry to take up so much of your time, but this is a lot more interesting than I thought it would be.
	It's my pleasure.
	My friend is having a good laugh.
	So the Jewish community, the argument of de Blasio Cuomo is that the Orthodox Jewish community is all packed together.
	It's super spreader events.
	So if they're right, we should have a slew of Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish deaths.
	You should have bodies piled up everywhere if you're flouting the rules.
	And this is a major issue.
	I don't care about cases because cases go up when testing goes up.
	But what about deaths?
	Have you guys had a lot of deaths in your community?
	Beautiful question.
	And now I go to the hospital every day.
	I went this morning again.
	I came out.
	I did a little something local here.
	I wanted to go to work.
	I'm not going to work today because I had your interview and I had somebody else.
	And what happens is, is there's two cases in the entire hospital.
	I even spoke to my friend who runs the funeral parlor.
	We have one funeral, really two, but one main funeral parlor.
	They handled most of the funerals when the people were dying during March, April, May, June.
	He says, not only is it not as busy as last year, it's slower.
	He says he needs another job.
	I said, please, I don't want to give no funeral parlours other jobs.
	And I want you to know something.
	Not only is it a lie, what he's Telling you about your numbers of deaths and pile up, he put us in a red zone.
	You know what that is, right?
	The red zone, it's the worst zone.
	Okay, so because of the testing that was done on the street, contaminated testing.
	I mean, how do you do a test with a corona person sick coming to a park with children?
	Stupid.
	Every one of his tests, 40% of them were contaminated.
	I sat down with the assemblymen.
	We did 2,000 tests of our own people.
	24-hour proper tests.
	Two came back positive.
	We forced the governor to put us in.
	That is this pandemic in a nutshell.
	We forced the governor to put my neighborhood into yellow.
	There was nothing he could do about it.
	Here's the evidence.
	The next-door neighborhood went, listened to the governor.
	They sent their contaminated people on the streets.
	I screamed, guys, don't do it.
	They did it.
	Red zone.
	Now, you're talking five blocks away in another community.
	I'm begging them.
	Now they commit with me.
	Hey, she do testing.
	So now we're doing another 2,000 tests to show you they're lying.
	There was one kid that tested positive in a school.
	One.
	All of a sudden, they wanted to shut down the school.
	3.9%.
	I said, it's one out of 300.
	It's a lie.
	Don't give me quotas and numbers and percentages.
	Simple.
	The kid got sick.
	The kid has the flu.
	He took one of your stupid city tests.
	And now we're doing our 24-hour testing.
	But I didn't want to fight with the school.
	So we shut them down for a week.
	But I'm not happy about it.
	Trust me, I'm not happy.
	But all the other schools are happy.
	Only because I didn't want to fight with the parents.
	And the parents agreed to it.
	Not all the parents.
	But again, this is what we do.
	I don't want to fight.
	I'm not looking for a war.
	I'm not looking to be taking, you know, people that can't eat food on Shabbos.
	People can't have stores.
	People don't have jobs.
	People don't have money.
	And forget their jobs and the money.
	Even their health.
	A young nine-year-old boy stabbing his sister in the house because he's autistic, couldn't get out, got crazy.
	We have 101 suicides.
	And I didn't check today, the mental hospital.
	I'm not talking around the city, Gavin.
	I'm talking my area, my neighborhood.
	We're losing it.
	We've lost focus.
	We've lost control.
	And now we're standing up.
	We're never going to let this mayor and governor do anything to us again.
	And I'm going to be here.
	I'm going to be their shield.
	And you want to arrest me?
	Come get me.
	I'm one guy.
	Just don't touch the rest of my people.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Last question.
	It's kind of taboo.
	Would you ever consider incorporating Santa into your December events?
	Not Jesus.
	Just stand up.
	Your mayor shut down Hanukkah at Christmas this year.
	I never celebrate Christmas.
	So this year, I'm going to have a big Hanukkah event.
	I've been already invited to 10 Christmas events.
	I even told him that I will put on the Santa outfit with my colour.
	And you can call me Uncle Heshi Claus.
	All right, Heshy.
	It's great talking to you.
	And I love seeing people fight.
	And I love that you choose your battles when you fight.
	That's how to win.
	Don't forget my city council.
	My website is HeshiTishla.com.
	H-E-S-H-Y-T-I-S-C-H-L-E-R.com.
	I know it's a long.
	Try to find it.
	We'll have it up on the screen right now.
	Give me $30.
	Get it up there, guys.
	You want me in there because I'm not fighting for my community.
	I'm fighting for our communities, for the entire city of New York.
	I don't care what color you are because I don't believe in color.
	I don't care what race you are.
	I don't believe in that either.
	I don't care what religion.
	We are one people.
	However you want to get to the finish line, be my guest.
	Okay, I drive a, what do I drive?
	I drive some cheap Chevy.
	Some people drive Cadillacs, but you know what?
	I still get there the same way.
	A little slower, but I get there.
	Right on, David Galuru.
	Thanks for coming.
	So I think the drums might be what really puts the clash over the top.
	Because Tipper Hedden was a jazz drummer.
	He's also a fucking junkie who ruined the band.
	Just like the strokes with Al.
	So it looked like Jews are open to the possibility of embracing Santa in future years.
	This year's not a great year to talk about Christmas and COVID maybe muddled it up, but at least we're planting the seed.
	Hey, Jews, we don't want you to worship Christ.
	We get that.
	That's not a hill to die on.
	That ship has sailed.
	You think he's just a regular guy.
	We think he's the son of God.
	Got it.
	End of discussion.
	Agree to disagree.
	However, Santa's a northern European cartoon.
	And you guys are European too, by the way.
	So it's just a European, it's based on European folklore.
	It's got some German stuff in it, some Nordic mythology in it, right?
	He's flying, it's got some Greek shit in it.
	He's flying through the sky on a totally implausible, crazy thing that's not Christian.
	It's not Christian.
	In fact, some of the Dominican dudes I know, they don't like Santa.
	In New York City, Dominicans open their presents on December 24th.
	So these poor little kids have to stay up till midnight.
	They're sleeping all over the place.
	They're on the floor, on the rug, passed out.
	And then everyone gets drunk.
	So December 25th, the morning of December 25th, in a New York Dominican household, it's just bodies everywhere.
	Just people sleeping.
	There's no excitement.
	The presents are already open.
	And the kids are like, they have like a Tonka truck because they could only play with it for about 10 minutes before they crashed.
	And the parents probably don't get up till fucking 1 p.m.
	And the reason for that is they're such devout Christians, Catholics, that they think Santa's blasphemous and they don't want anything to do with that.
	I bought you these presents.
	There's no Santa.
	And we're going to open them the second Christ is born at midnight.
	All right.
	So if there's Catholics that eschew Santa, why don't you take them in?
	Jews can wake up Saturday morning with the rest of us.
	Yay!
	A cartoon European brought me gifts.
	It's so fun opening gifts.
	And there's wrapping paper everywhere.
	Ryan and I are going to celebrate.
	On December 24th, tune in here and watch us open tons and tons of presents.
	And they're all going to be cool and fun and exciting and new.
	Let it go.
	It's expecting you.
	We're getting towards the end of a very long show.
	Lots of variety today.
	Lots of variety.
	I think it's time for the mailbag.
	Let's turn our eyes against mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	You have a brief thought where you go, wait, did that happen or did I dream that?
	That's my whole life.
	Uh, bado-bada-ba-dee.
	We have um Aiden.
	Fresh idiocy, dearest G-Dog, and he with the Phantom Patriarch.
	I don't know what that means.
	No dad.
	Oh.
	Hoping to see some scorn poured on this exceptionally amateurish drivel published by The Guardian.
	I refer chiefly to the first half concerning one girl's harem relationship with a member of a certain blah, blah, blah.
	I also have a touch beef humorous poovid, not mine for your viewing pleasure.
	Okay.
	White clicktivism.
	Why are some Americans woke online, but not in real life?
	I guess because the whole thing's fucking fake.
	In the winter, blah, blah, blah.
	Gwen Canson, his phone screensaver was a symbol of the alt-right movement in Stalerman.
	Oh, this is ancient news.
	We already talked about this, didn't we?
	Yeah, she fell in love with the Proud Boy.
	Yeah, she fell in love with the Proud Boy, and he seemed to be really cool.
	So I guess the point of the article is if you date a guy who has political opinions that are differently from the far left, then you're not being sincere and a good person.
	And we need you more.
	We need you not just to agree with us online, but also to close your pussy.
	And then he's got a poo video.
	What's this video?
	We're going to watch you guys take a poo?
	That sounds awesome.
	The discussions with my colleague, we've decided that the best way to deal with this problem is for a manual extraction.
	We're going to go for the sheesh kebab.
	It's a tried and tested technique.
	Hopefully it worked this time.
	Here we go now.
	All right, that's enough.
	That's enough.
	That's enough.
	Thanks, buddy.
	This is Kaylin.
	She's got an Indian Joker dog.
	Let's check out the Indian Joker dog.
	It's better be good.
	All right, dear Gavi and Rye guy, tell that caller from yesterday not to join the TPD.
	Tacoma's mayor, black woman named Victoria Woodwards, throws the police under the bus any chance she gets.
	Yeah, I just, maybe I'd had a few beers.
	I just felt so sensitive.
	Don't do it, not gonna do it, is what I would say right now, but I can't believe I'm saying that to a man who that would have been the rest of his life.
	She even goes, she goes even as far, that's not how you say that, as to visit black criminals in the hospital who get in a shootout with police, or so I've heard.
	I know retired cops here, and they can't imagine anyone being crazy enough to join up right now.
	Tacoma is on track to have its most homicides in a year, and homelessness and all the crime that goes with it is out of control.
	If cops try to do their job, they get lambasted by the local government, the local media, and community groups.
	Do not join TPD.
	Can we see Victoria Woodwards?
	What does she look like?
	Does she look like Betelgeuse?
	Oh, she looks half white.
	She looks like one of those abandoned by her black dad and looking for revenge.
	Let's look her up.
	Early life.
	Born and raised in Tacoma.
	Attended Lincoln High School.
	Usually when they have personal life lives in the south end of neighborhood and early life born and raised somewhere with no spouses or anything listed, it often means a lesbian with a white mom and a black dad and dad was not around.
	Let's go.
	Victoria Woodward's parents divorced if there was even a marriage.
	They were tired of talking and wanted a question.
	They also asked, why does it always take a video for the public to believe?
	Knew it.
	Check it out.
	You ready?
	Her biological parents divorced when Woodwards was 12 and her father moved to Mississippi.
	That hole that was missing for me wasn't filled until I was 32.
	Harold did it for me.
	Over the years, she's called several people in life to add, but Moss has a special title.
	I have an incredible community of adopted people, blah, blah, blah.
	She's doing that whole thing where they say this is actually better than a biological family.
	We have a village, which is what Black Lives Matter said.
	So once again, we have fatherless bitches declaring revenge on the rest of us.
	Revenge of the hurt keeps coming up again and again.
	She's so mad at dads.
	I'm the aunt angry.
	From the movie, Gods and Monsters, 5148 mins into the movie.
	You're a homosexual.
	Well, thanks for wasting our time with that, Dave.
	That was really interesting.
	H. Gavin, I just wanted to make sure this meme didn't slip you by.
	If they could just spell privileges correctly, though.
	Male privileges failed me.
	When everybody rubs your pregnant wife's belly saying congratulations, but no one tickles your balls saying good job.
	It's reasonable.
	I don't do memes that are spelled wrong, though.
	Okay, this is NSFW.
	Let me just.
	Very.
	This is very NSFW.
	Well, kind of.
	It's kind of hidden.
	I'm looking at the smallest penis in the world.
	No, no, don't show it, Ryan.
	Wow.
	It's almost like playing with a clad, I guess.
	Okay.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	How in the fuck?
	Okay, so this guy's quite a grower.
	How did you do that?
	And it goes from zero to something fairly reasonable.
	Oh, wow.
	Yeah, that's an old foreskin trick.
	You can get it to go way up in there and make it look really bad, and then floomf.
	It's party time.
	I used to do this trick at parties when I was young.
	I'd take the foreskin and fold it into itself and then keep like folding, folding, wrinkling down until it was just like a butthole and all the meat was inside me.
	And then I would let go and go, the desert flower will bloom in one day after, because it looks like stop motion photography of a flower blooming over the course of 24 hours.
	Yeah, no shit.
	And then it comes out.
	It was a hit.
	The desert flower.
	I did a lot of penis poetry as it was.
	Dick is a clash of the titans monster.
	Yeah, yeah, totally, totally.
	Wait, is this the same guy?
	Yeah, David McHugh wants us to watch another clip from his shitty movie.
	Fuck off, David.
	No.
	Okay, Will and Koons.
	We all know that Georgia results make no sense at base value.
	They make the least sense out of any of the swing states.
	After the Ezra bombshell yesterday, I started reading into it a little more.
	Check out this PBS article.
	In 2019, Georgia bought the devices from a Canadian company called Dominion Voting Systems.
	Oh yeah, Dominion comes from Dominion of Canada.
	In his latest report, Miles O'Brien looks at some of the latest technology being used in Georgia and whether it provides a stronger defense against tampering than the traditional paper ballot.
	It's part of our ongoing leading edge series on science and innovation.
	They're in bed with China.
	They make voting machines while the Chinese brag about how they can control American politics.
	This is what our writer says, purchased in 2019 from Canada, the same year Canada was training with the Chinese military.
	That's when Georgia purchased the Dominion voting system.
	Then I start to think about the Chinese executive talking about how great China is at infiltrating American politics, what I just said.
	I hate to sound like a negative Nancy, but there's something fishy going on here.
	There sure is, my friend.
	But yeah, let's talk about Russia.
	Russia, Russia, Russia.
	Broke loser communist Russia.
	Someone's sending us an Ilhan Omar meme that we discussed yesterday.
	I hate when people send us stuff that we've already discussed on the show.
	Dear King of all that is proud, and also Ryan, Second Amendment, people need to see this.
	Can't believe this happened to me.
	Here's the story.
	Better be good.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	I just wanted to give kind of a warning for a situation that happened to me.
	If you're a big Second Amendment conservative kind of person, then this applies to you.
	They're absolutely setting up traps for us right now to catch us doing something illegal or to prank us.
	But let me just tell you what happened to me real quick.
	So I was on this gun site I follow a lot and I'd got a direct message from someone who I hadn't talked to before and he said, hey, I'm in your area and I have this specific gun I like for sale.
	And he said, if you're interested, here's the price.
	And the price was pretty good on it.
	So I'm like, yeah, I'm absolutely interested.
	Anyways, all that just to set up, I go over to the place to meet him and immediately something just didn't feel right about the situation.
	But I knew it when I knock on the door.
	First off, he answers the door wearing an Antifa shirt.
	But I thought, like, this is too obvious.
	But things got a lot stranger than that.
	So I go in the house and he's making small talk.
	I'm like, dude, you know, I just want to see the gun that you're selling.
	And this dude looks at me and is like, you know, you don't have to buy this gun.
	I could just give it to you.
	So immediately bells are going off of my head, like, stolen property.
	Are you trying to entrap me?
	I'm looking around kind of for cameras.
	I don't see anything.
	But then the dude, and maybe this dude's just a weirdo, but then the dude says to me, you know, I painted my balls and my schlong red.
	And if you give me a hand job before it dries, then they're yours for free, the guns.
	I'm like, now I know.
	Like, dude.
	So I was pretty pissed actually at the time.
	But to show us the lucky guy, didn't lose it, but I just start heading to the door.
	And this son of a gun tries to stop me, stands in front of me in the door.
	And I have to push him out of the way.
	I was like, dude, get out of my way.
	Pushed him over.
	Good stuff.
	I just want you guys to think about things before you just steal that.
	I was getting scared for a second.
	I was like, oh, no.
	Honeypot.
	Someone's trying to trick us here with the next one.
	Dear Gavin and Mr. Antonio Ron Rodriguez, I reckon Gavin would appreciate this hottie in this video, piercing eyes, cute accent and all, right?
	Be very careful where you stroll here because this woman is called a castratix.
	And what she does is she massacres your penis.
	She's also hideous.
	This is NSFW.
	Very NSFW.
	You don't do it.
	I'm not doing it.
	But the gore.
	The legal gore, I guess, at the end of this is a guy's penis has like a thousand pins in it.
	There's blood everywhere.
	She's putting big long needles.
	You guys are seeing it.
	And there's balls.
	It's really fucking gross.
	G-Dog and Resident of the Fag Zone.
	I have seen this post four times today, and God, does it piss me off?
	The logic required to believe this shit is that of a 10-year-old.
	A teenage head was the name of our episode yesterday.
	And then to have the audacity to call people who don't wear a mask a terrorist.
	Fuck man.
	It took everything I had not to spread the whole day arguing with beta males on Twitter.
	Anyways, check out what message the left is spreading around.
	If you're without a mask, RN, you're a terrorist.
	Deadliest days in American history.
	Galveston Hurricane.
	Anti-Atom.
	I don't even know what Anti-Atom was.
	September 11th, last Thursday, last Wednesday, last Tuesday.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Doesn't that idiot kind of realize, like, looking by the numbers there, aren't those the same number, but they're just like adding to it?
	Like, first it's 24, and then they do another count, and then it goes up to 2,000.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That kind of looks like the fucking way it's going.
	It's the total.
	So the total keeps going up.
	But the total is 200,000.
	No, yeah, but maybe that week.
	So let's look it up.
	How many died on, let's say, December 7th?
	December 7th, COVID?
	Because it does seem strange that they go up every day.
	This is boring.
	I mean, I think the Jewish funeral home was a good example of what's really going on here, which is nothing.
	Love from Kanata.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	This is.
	Okay, that's safer work.
	I got a fellow Kanataite.
	What are we called when we're from Kanata?
	Kanatites?
	My pet mantis shrimp when I dipped my balls into his tank.
	Today I was hitting the speed bag and Larry was there.
	And we're doing like, what the fuck you're going to do?
	And I go, this is your head, Larry.
	This is your head after you're knocked out.
	This is you on the mat.
	I'm still going.
	There's no referee here today.
	And he laughed so hard he fell down.
	You talk like you can fucking fight your way in a paper bag.
	You a cupcake.
	You talk like you can do something.
	Pretty funny.
	This is from G. Oh, my other thing with Larry, too, is, so I'm all like, you don't open this Pandora's box because once this train comes out the station, I can't turn it around.
	I'm going to wipe you out.
	But then at night, when it's super busy there and I take my kids, I pretend that he bullies me.
	And I go, I'm sorry, Mr. Barnes.
	And I fall down.
	I pretend he punches me and I bump into things.
	And everyone takes it seriously, including another trainer we call Jalapeno, who contacted the owner and said, Larry's beating people up.
	So he's a snitch.
	What's G got to say?
	I'm going to come.
	A lot of NSFW stuff today.
	Yeah, very horny.
	I had some video drops with suggested scenarios.
	Curb your enthusiasm and Harry Potter.
	Love the shows.
	All right, so someone sent us a whole bunch of video drops.
	We're processing this video.
	All right, I don't have time for that shit.
	Oh, what a very interesting face.
	Wow.
	This one is a, what an insane ass.
	Oh, my stars.
	I actually felt a tingle in my balls.
	Oh, my wizard.
	Look at that ass.
	That's a day ruiner of an ass.
	Like that, if you saw that ass and you were walking in that park, you would stop at the next bench and just go.
	Come on, man.
	Get it together.
	You got your own shit going on.
	You got a life.
	Come on, buddy.
	Like, I would, if you were just to tackle her and start going in your ass crack, I think the judge would go, well, you know what?
	That's sexual assault.
	You're looking at five to ten.
	Oh, shit, is that her?
	Oh.
	Please don't do it again, but get out of my courtroom.
	Hello, Gavin Rice guy.
	I heard you guys were so bored.
	We're bored, so I'm sending you some photos of me to rape.
	I'm 20 years old and from Sweden.
	See, you're a rape apologist if you think girls in Sweden are hot, because the Vikings would rape and pillage and then steal all the women, the pretty girls, from all the various places they conquered and bring them back to Scandinavia.
	So Scandinavian girls are genetically hot because they were stolen.
	I tried getting pictures from all angles.
	Hope it is enough for a proper rating to give my sympathies to our drunk out.
	I included one photo of me plastered, the trench photo.
	I love you.
	I want to fuck you with my heels on.
	But fortunately for me, I'm engaged.
	Well, what if he were to have an accident?
	By the way, here is a Swedish translation of the Gavin's Mailbag song.
	Ryan, Halkaften do her in gen papa, lat osta entit pa.
	Gavin's postlada, let me tapa den.
	Nice.
	All right, so this is some amazing stuff.
	It's hard to find any flaws with that visage, especially this one.
	Why aren't you showing the picture?
	The red one?
	No, show them all.
	I got to open them all up.
	I just opened them all up and then closed them all.
	All right.
	I guess.
	I got this.
	So that's amazing, obviously.
	But you got all your makeup on and do to do, and that's incredible, obviously.
	You're at some Halloween party and it's.
	But look at the structure there of the Halloween one, the red one.
	Do you keep closing them?
	That's too big.
	Okay, that's incredible.
	Not doing a lot of Indian Jokers, I noticed, this mailbag.
	That's kind of annoying.
	What are we thinking here?
	We include the ass and everything.
	I mean, I don't see how...
	Like, 9 seems a little high.
	8 seems low.
	I think my gut is saying 8.8.
	I think she's a Swedish 7, but...
	She's probably hideous in Sweden.
	Yeah, she's like...
	People probably throw money at her.
	I was talking to a guy once with a hot wife.
	He's like, oh, my God.
	Yeah, we just got back from Sweden.
	And the women there are so beautiful.
	Like, she's a six there.
	Yeah.
	And his wife, no, that's what he said to his wife.
	Oh, oh, that's funny.
	And his wife was sort of like.
	And so I had to jump on it.
	I was like, oh, really?
	Your wife's an ugly pig?
	She's really mediocre in Sweden.
	Is that it?
	Is that like, she's sitting right there, dude?
	So yeah, 8.8.
	Congratulations, Christina.
	All right.
	Boy, this is a long app.
	Let's do a couple more.
	Jason, Gavin and the other guy, you're famous for many things, but as a true fan, your best performance was It's Brexit with Batman.
	There isn't a more victorious and inspiring rant I've seen.
	More of this on the show.
	Mailbag is meh and depends on what is sent in.
	Oh, like this letter?
	The worst part of the show is Collins.
	This was funny once when you were hanging up on the mid-sentence.
	Okay, maybe I'll bring that back.
	Election gate, COVID, and globalese are your money subjects.
	Find the balance.
	Okay, expert.
	I'd appreciate someone keeping up on Julian Assange, who also helped Trump get elected, but whatever.
	Thanks.
	And Ryan is priceless.
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	Maybe we should have an Assange update with Cassandra Fairbanks every once in a while because she's really on the got her ear to the ground on that one.
	On the last live episode, Lighthouse Tom was the first caller as scooter.
	He keeps getting through.
	He has to use aliases now because you would hang up on him right away.
	Also, Ryan needs to reach out to that bald weirdo who lives in an RV in the desert and does his dancing videos.
	Yeah, whatever happened to him.
	Mr. Ober.
	I think he got his meds.
	Right.
	Do we have a final video?
	Shit.
	That guy's drops came through.
	Oh, yeah, let's see them.
	It's a two-minute thing, but it's like interesting.
	Shut up!
	The fuck?
	Shut the fuck up!
	Shut the fuck up!
	What's the big deal?
	What if I did say she has a big ass?
	So what?
	That's not so terrible.
	What's the matter with a big ass?
	I like big asses.
	There's no problem.
	You like big asses?
	You keep finding out something.
	Don't say I have a don't have an ass fan.
	No, no, this is very kinky.
	It's like, well, there's nothing thank you.
	I'm scolding now.
	Nothing's on.
	These are way too long.
	These are way too long.
	I'm just finding out.
	What are we baby?
	See some other ones.
	You haven't met Ryan?
	So, what are you drawing?
	Oh, I'm just doodling.
	That's a Hitler mustache.
	That's Hitler hair.
	What's a Hitler?
	Hitler was a bad man.
	A bad man?
	Should have stopped right there.
	Yeah, okay, these are boring.
	Let's go to the final video.
	COVID.
	Can I taste anything?
	This paper tastes like nothing.
	All right, final video.
	This is a guy who was paid $50 to take a pack of Pokemon cards.
	How sad is it?
	I got a lot of shit yesterday for saying that Anime is for losers.
	It is.
	Okay?
	It's for little kids.
	It's a children's cartoon.
	Grow the fuck up.
	Pokemon is in the same genre of embarrassing, but obviously much, much worse.
	Trading Pokemon cards is fucking pathetic.
	This guy needs to move out of his parents' house, grow up, get a real job, become a real man.
	Jesus H. Christ.
	So anyway, this guy agreed for 50 bucks to fold the cards before he opens them.
	And the danger with that is you might find a valuable card that you've ruined with a crease.
	God, no.
	He hates what he's done.
	If I get fat, big gay Pikachu and try to grade it, it'd be a two.
	Because there's a permanent crease.
	I don't know if you can see it, but it's like permanent crease, right?
	These things are worth like four grand or something when it's a big hit.
	I don't know and I don't want to know and don't get into the show and tell me.
	Four to the front.
	Good luck.
	Psychic energy, drone rotom, swoobat, excadrille, jolted, sandal, sea dock, chicken peck, mud brain.
	I already have Carolis.
	God, there's a permanent crease all the way down to end.
	Oh, it actually!
	Oh my god, it actually fucking happened!
	Oh my god!
	I made fucking vegan shit!
	Why?
	Why?
	His poor father.
	Well, the good news is his father's not around to see any of that.
	What do we got now?
	It's Thursday.
	We'll see you Monday.
	We've got a lot of fun stuff planned for next week.
	The next few weeks are going to be a wild ride because we're planning some fun holiday adventures.
	Christmas starts on Monday.
	We're going to start getting kooky and having some fun and giving you guys diddle orgasms.
	I'll explain everything on Monday.
	In the meantime, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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