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Dec. 8, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:55:02

S03E49 - JOE ROGAN'S EXPERIENCE [2020-12-08 - S03E49 - JOE ROGAN'S EXPERIENCE]

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	That was the body snatchers with the smash hit ruder than you.
	Fantastic band and a fantastic example of assimilation.
	That's not a good link.
	That's just some chick who made a shitty QuickTime video of the song with a bunch of rude girls in it.
	Modern rude girls.
	But the rude girls thing was in the 70s.
	And it was Jamaicans who kicked the British out in 1969, tried it for a few years and went, this sucks.
	Can you come back?
	And Britain went, no.
	And they went, can I come over there?
	And they went, I guess.
	So they had a massive influx of what they called yardies.
	And it was a lot of Jamaicans coming in.
	And they assimilated quite well.
	They already drank Guinness.
	They already loved football.
	And they did, I mean, there was riots and stuff for like a couple days.
	Nothing close to what we've experienced the past six months.
	And they made this fantastic ska music that was mostly Jamaican and had, oh shit, I got my stupid mask thing on.
	Oh, well, who cares?
	You know, I don't wear this as a general rule.
	In fact, me and my buddy Ron, our new thing is giving people shit.
	Like, excuse me, why are you wearing a mask?
	Give people shit for wearing masks.
	However, if you're going to the boxing gym or a pub where they require it, you don't want the guy to lose his license.
	That's like going to someone's house.
	And if they have that rule, I'll follow it.
	But as far as walking down the street, fuck you.
	Fuck you and fuck your fucking gay shit, fucker.
	But yeah, check out the next one after that link.
	So that song was Ruder Than You about being a rude girl.
	And I wanted to use it for Katie Hopkins' new show, but I can't afford it.
	So I have my guy, Bry, do a song inspired by it.
	You can barely tell the difference.
	For Larry's fights, that's not Eye of the Tiger.
	That's like Nose of the Tiger.
	That's free.
	Well, I give Brian a membership.
	But I didn't realize they were an all-girl band.
	What a perfect song for Rude Britannia.
	An all-girl band.
	Can we see that?
	What are you doing?
	That's actually the selector that you see at the beginning.
	And that's the specials with Terry.
	And that's just random mods.
	And that's just Black SNM.
	Very happy with that.
	Good work, Ryan.
	That was all Ryan Katsu Rivera, Monty Python-inspired.
	I tried to follow your vision as best as I could.
	I threatened to kill his family this morning, so he's going to be very well-behaved.
	Today's book, Jonah Goldberg, The Tyranny of Clichés.
	His first book was Liberal Fascism.
	I once made him do a spit take at Fox News in the green room.
	Snakes on a Plane had just come out.
	And it was on TV in the green room, some commercial for it.
	And I go, oh, phew, I'm really glad they didn't go with their working title.
	And he goes, what was that?
	Niggers are scared of snakes.
	See, they say there's no time where the N-word you can use it as a white person.
	That was one of the times.
	That was pretty good.
	And then in 2012, he put out this book, The Tyranny of Clichés.
	And it's a very interesting book to read now because we are now under the tyranny of lies.
	Now it's just lies.
	Now it's like Trump said that everyone in the military is a loser and they suck shit.
	That's not a controversial opinion.
	That's just a lie.
	Or they go, he'll say they're sending a disproportionate number of rapists.
	And they go, so all Mexicans are rapists?
	No, I didn't say that.
	I just saw when we were, the reason I played the body snatchers is because we're working on a commercial for Katie Hopkins.
	And I just saw, we're looking at clips of Katie on news shows.
	And there was one where she said that Muslims in Britain are disproportionately represented in the crime stats.
	And then the interviewer turns to me and says, Katie, you can't really believe that, that all immigrants are criminals.
	That's the exact same lie.
	She didn't say that.
	So we're just sitting here defending the opposite of the truth.
	That's not really a cliché.
	Like in this book, he's talking about clichés like one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, which isn't true.
	But now it's like bin Laden is a freedom fighter.
	Katie, surely you must agree with that in some sense.
	You can't believe that all immigrants are criminals and rapists.
	They're no worse than anybody else, surely.
	I think there's no way, there's no chance I'll ever agree with a single word that comes out of Mo's little face.
	You know, ultimately, what he loves to do is sling a label around xenophobe, far-right, Islamophobe.
	Get ready for it because he loves to label people.
	Okay, are we ready to start the show?
	Front page of the post today.
	Fury Road.
	Our man Danny running over cops, breaking their legs.
	That's a lie.
	First of all, why did he get out with no bail if he ran over a cop and broke his legs?
	That's a felony.
	He'd be looking at half a million bucks.
	What happened was they yelled his name.
	What's his name?
	Presty.
	Hey, Presty!
	Presty!
	And they start charging at him, not in front of the bar, but two blocks away.
	So he goes, oh, fuck, someone's trying to shake me down.
	Are these some lunatics trying to kill me?
	So he gets in his car and drives away.
	They jump on the car as it drives away.
	They were coming at him, Danny Prest, like it was like Roger Stone.
	And why is that?
	Because that bar is so dangerous?
	Because the bar is a super spreader?
	No, because Cuomo has, the dictator has made a dictum.
	And that is that Danny Presti must be shut down.
	And Cuomo did his stupid fucking Queens thing that he does.
	He did it to me.
	Oh, tough guy, eh?
	I'm from Queens.
	I'd like to see you come out here.
	And then for this thing, he goes, oh, a tough guy, huh?
	Running over cops with a car.
	Yeah, you're a coward.
	Not a tough guy.
	I'm a tough guy.
	Dude, you have nipple rings, and you don't fuck your wife.
	She dumped you for not being interested because you like to get pegged.
	Sex is like not a big deal.
	I couldn't hear that.
	Sex is like not a big deal.
	You're right, Ryan.
	It's not a big deal.
	And I don't really care if some guy has gay proclivities.
	But, and I'm assuming, just word out to the lawyers, I saw what looks like nipple rings.
	And there's no way, as far as I'm concerned, someone with nipple rings doesn't get fucked up the ass by their wife.
	And women don't like that.
	You know, like these guys that like women to sit on their face?
	Like not just sit on their face, but like sit on their face.
	You know what I mean?
	Not just like lick my pussy from this particular angle.
	Dominate.
	Suffocate me.
	Women don't like that.
	They're not turned on by dominating dudes.
	They'll do it.
	There's a market for everything.
	But a marriage can't last if the man is not the dominant sexual partner.
	And it seems to me that Mario Cuomo was not the dominant sexual partner.
	Both of those guys seem like bullshit pussies.
	And Chris Cuomo, with his 100-pound weight behind his head.
	Have you ever tried to lift one of those things?
	Yep.
	The 50 pounds are pretty rough.
	The 50 pounds are a nightmare.
	100 pounds?
	I know I'm not a bodybuilder, but talk to a bodybuilder.
	Talk to someone who's fucking ripped.
	Talk to the rock and say, hey, The Rock.
	Can you hold this and then go like this, like you're jerking off the back of your head?
	And he'll go.
	Like you're saying, like you're saying, that's true.
	That's true.
	This is a lie.
	Again, lies.
	The tyranny of lies.
	So this book from 2012, eight years ago, is quaint compared to where we are now.
	Okay?
	So I'm trying to get a shirt made by this guy, by the way, where the neck ends here.
	So you're me.
	Brian John Spencer.
	Yeah.
	My body is here, but I have no head because my head is your head.
	And we're wondering how to incorporate Ryan.
	I'm like, could he be wrapped around my leg or peeking out from behind me?
	Because if he's this height and you have no head, I don't know.
	It's going to look like he's blowing me.
	That's their only guy.
	There is.
	Are you saying you want to fuck me?
	No, my dad, I guess he doesn't care about me that much.
	Where he's like, you can go be a fag.
	That's really not caring.
	Let's bring that word.
	I think that word's coming back, and I'm glad.
	Nigger, that can stay locked up.
	But the double G's in Faggot, and the T at the end.
	Otherwise, your joke wouldn't have been that funny.
	If it wasn't locked up.
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	It was like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
	Like, I unleashed that word and Jonah Goldberg's face melted.
	What are you looking at?
	I lost internet for sure.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Have I lost it?
	I got it.
	You got it?
	Yeah.
	Switch around here.
	This is a funny thing going around.
	Some chick in Canada is holding up a $5 bill and a $50 bill, and she's pissed that we keep talking about debts and we don't have money.
	Here's money.
	And the only difference between a $5 bill and a $50 bill is that nothing.
	So why not just make everyone a millionaire?
	And when she said that, I realized, wait a minute, that's an idiocracy.
	That's the part where Dwayne Macho Camancho Mountain Dew comes out.
	He's shooting his assault rifle.
	Just kidding.
	Shooting a machine gun at the sky.
	And he goes, and everyone gets a million dollars.
	She doesn't understand this basic premise.
	Hey, so you know what I don't fucking understand?
	This is what I don't understand.
	See this?
	See this?
	Inflation.
	This is worth $50?
	This is worth $5?
	This is the exact same piece of fucking plastic.
	This is the same thing.
	We made up these arbitrary numbers and then we said we can't bring more or else it'll be worthless.
	How about just don't let it be worthless?
	How about just don't tell anybody?
	Let's cancel that.
	Why charge rent?
	If no one pays rent, then we're all good, right?
	Just don't let it inflate.
	Just don't.
	Like people, I get it.
	I get it inflate, but I don't.
	Like, just don't let it talk.
	You let this happen.
	You don't tell meth heads talk.
	How about you just let everything happen?
	I wonder if she's on Adderall.
	Maybe.
	Deflated.
	Because Adderall makes women think they can do math.
	Meth makes you think you can do math.
	There was a meth head.
	Remember this?
	You'll never find it, but it was like early 2000s.
	She looked kind of Native American.
	She had no eyebrows, and she was nude.
	And it was, what's it called?
	Intervention?
	Yeah.
	And she was a fucking smokeshow.
	She's naked in her garage and she's trying to figure out complex algebra just like on her own.
	So she's like, like one times one, how can one.
	She was actually doing some Terryisms.
	What's his name?
	The Otis symbol.
	Terence Howard.
	Terrence Howard Math.
	What does he call it again?
	Terenceology?
	Teriology.
	Teriology.
	She was doing Teriology.
	But yeah, lady, you need to do less speed, and you need a father in the house to explain to you that all currencies are contingent on limitations.
	Even when we were cave people and we exchanged little rocks, it was based on the uniqueness of the rock.
	If the rock isn't unique anymore, it has no value.
	And we've seen this happen a billion times.
	But my favorite example, of course, is my favorite dictator Mugabe and Zimbabwe, where he was as dumb as that girl.
	So he just kept printing money until a hamburger was $14 million.
	Yeah, this is, it's not in this clip, but this is the, this is the guy.
	I like that they made him black.
	That was pretty great.
	I bet he didn't set this far enough into, I mean, I bet he set this too far in the future.
	This is going to be like 2030.
	This is Kanye.
	This is us in 10 years.
	This is President Kanye.
	Shit.
	I know she's barren.
	With all that starving bullshit.
	And the dust storms.
	And we're running out of French fries and burrito cover movies.
	No one can figure out why.
	That's what you said last time, Dimsh.
	Yeah?
	Okay, that's enough.
	Yeah, so the Zimbabwean dollar became so worthless that a cheeseburger was $14 million, and so was a long-distance phone call.
	They would bring wheelbarrows of money shopping.
	And eventually they just gave up.
	I heard once that Pierre Trudeau, sorry, Justin Trudeau's brother, stepbrother, his goal was to invent a global currency.
	He started a GoFundMe for it.
	And shit, I might have it on my phone.
	I can send you.
	This is the Prime Minister of Canada's brother.
	He set it up on his phone.
	I mean, sorry, he had a GoFundMe for it.
	And he wanted like $200 million.
	And what he wanted to do was create a global currency.
	All one, he's a globalist, right?
	A global currency.
	And what's amazing about that is there is one.
	It's called, oh, here it is, the social wallet.
	It's called the American dollar.
	You go to Cuba.
	I'm sending it to you now.
	You go to Cuba and people are begging on the street.
	You buy shit with American dollars there because their dollar sucks.
	You go to Zimbabwe, you use American dollars.
	The American dollar is a global currency.
	But check this out.
	What a numskull.
	This is the same IQ, the same DNA that is running Canada.
	So he wants, is that 21 billion?
	Only 21 million.
	$21 million.
	$21 million.
	Flexible gold.
	That's actually pretty cheap to change the currency for every country in the world.
	So even the money he wants is retarded.
	But he's only raised $1,500.
	Got a ways to go.
	And he's had this open for this is a wallet.
	This is a social wallet.
	This wallet is a place to store money and identity physically.
	This wallet is a place to store money and identity digitally.
	This wallet is different.
	It uses a new type of money called Bitcoin.
	Wait.
	Bitcoin is global internet money that isn't controlled by corporations and governments.
	So he's trying to invent Bitcoin?
	Digital money based on math and cryptography.
	It is the future of money, but to use it, you need a digital wallet.
	The social wallet charges no fees, ever.
	The first version of the social wallet is an iPhone app that can be downloaded for free right now.
	Wait, I think I got this wrong.
	You don't need a bank.
	It has no minimums, no maximums.
	It's secure, but most importantly.
	So it's just a way to store your Bitcoin.
	So what's in it for me?
	Yeah.
	To be frank.
	This is my job interview.
	I want to work for you, and I need your support.
	Is it right that we pay money to move money?
	We don't think so.
	This is a movement, and not a for-profit corporation.
	Wikipedia digitized the encyclopedia.
	We are digitizing the wallet.
	Like Wikipedia, we are raising money through donations.
	Using the generosity platform by Indy.
	Okay, so it's a place to store Bitcoin, and he's going to do it for free and live off donations.
	What a socialist.
	What a fucking moron.
	Jesus Christ.
	That just killed the energy of the show.
	Let's try to bring things back up from zero.
	This isn't the method, right?
	No?
	Okay.
	Believe me, and I am always right.
	I mean, it could have been speed.
	I don't know what they call it.
	Blonde, naked, no eyebrows.
	I would look at General Google first.
	I'm going to just type it here and then copy paste.
	I kind of want to see.
	Was that on Gavin McKinnon show?
	No, no, no, I don't think so.
	Everyone was obsessed with her in the early aughts.
	Oh, man.
	All right, well, I'll keep looking in between if I can.
	Yeah, intervention, crazy chick, meth head, no eyebrows.
	Yeah, that's a better one.
	Crazy chick, meth head, no eyebrows.
	Sorry, folks.
	I'm tempted to restart the show.
	We've had me misinterpreting a retard's idea.
	No.
	Christy from Intervention Update.
	Wait a second.
	That's it.
	An insane amount.
	That's why you like this.
	I like how Adam Corolla calls his podcast a pirate ship.
	This is a pirate ship, and we were just, we were adrift.
	We were drifting towards the shore.
	And then we caught a wind, and now we're back.
	This is awesome.
	Uh-oh, she's an Indian, so she didn't age very well.
	Christie's perfect day.
	Let's try that.
	This is my type.
	What I would do is take it, take a couple of shots, two throughout the whole time listening to music.
	Oh, yeah, but that's everyone's favorite part.
	Oh, my God, this is taking me back.
	That's only 2014?
	No, that must be when they loaded it up.
	But she goes, take some hits, drop some masks.
	The whole time listening to music.
	But the part where she's trying to explain math.
	Her eyebrows are just beautiful, aren't they?
	Oh my god, that's awesome, dude.
	They want you to go.
	I also want a big pie.
	They're just so good.
	Bye, bye.
	You don't call it cool.
	Why do we have some music up in this mother?
	She loves me.
	The thing is, everybody, I'm just on a permanent good one that none of you guys will ever get to experience.
	I'm so sorry for you.
	I really am.
	Okay?
	Can we have some more of her?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	I wish she had the garage scene where she's explaining mathematics.
	Oh, that looks like it, actually.
	Go up?
	This one?
	Yeah, there it is.
	Mathematics.
	How'd you skip over that?
	It just looked so bad quality.
	It has to be a better one.
	To me, I am really a god in my eyes because I am truthfully a god.
	At times, she's the sister of Jesus Christ.
	Why are you vaping?
	I told you not to vape in the studio.
	I'm not, no, I was just doing this.
	No, you were vaping.
	No.
	Dude, don't now I can smell it.
	I don't like that fucking burnt cherry smell.
	God, you're such a fucking drug addict.
	This is you.
	I was being possessed by the devil or whatever.
	I love it.
	God, Jesus name.
	See, we can do math right now.
	There we go.
	Plus a negative equals, I don't know.
	If I just do one positive plus.
	She's like a letter.
	One negative.
	Yeah, so that brings back to what the is a positive plus a negative.
	This thing that's in this body, this shell of her now, I don't know who this is.
	Right now, I'm in like lla.
	Kind of makes you want to get wasted, doesn't it?
	Every time I see an intervention, I'm like, I'm going to go get do some shots.
	It has the opposite effect, I guess, it's supposed to have.
	Anyway, there's an update on her.
	Yeah, there was that critical here.
	Sometimes, Misty, that's my Christie from Intervention.
	She's not really my type, but I remembered loving her more.
	Okay, let's just...
	Brian, you saw, Mr. Fucking Vape Pants.
	You just saw, when we were looking on earlier, an update on YouTube.
	Christy, update intervention.
	Why do I have to dictate your job to you?
	Oh, no, that looks different one.
	No, that's not.
	That's her?
	Yes.
	Brunette now with eyebrows.
	Oh, that doesn't make sense.
	It was what?
	20 years ago and she's grown eyebrows?
	Oh my goodness.
	I have about two hours to three hours of homework a night.
	I'm usually up, and I'm a procrastinator, so I'm usually up till one in the morning doing homework.
	I've been sober and clean now for just a little over six months.
	I took my six-month chip on the 22nd of September.
	My life today is 100% better.
	That's not hurt.
	I'm healthy.
	This is intervention campus.
	This was healed.
	I have purpose today.
	You know, getting up every day, going to school, taking care of Austin, you know, keeping in touch with Alex.
	And my relationship with my family is just phenomenal today.
	I think the biggest change is my decision to stay out in Kamloops because going back to Windsor for me was not a good idea.
	Way too many triggers.
	So being out here has given me the opportunity to grow and do the work for myself.
	Thank you.
	We righted the ship and now we fucking crash it again.
	Let's get back to the news.
	In today's me news.
	Nobody can do that like me.
	He says a me.
	It's inaccurate.
	It's shocking.
	This thing is a fucking Ouija board.
	This fucking guy stole my thing.
	One, two.
	Hot new shirt came out with the tits cut out.
	Burberry.
	It's only $289.97.
	If you think $290 is too much, this is a shirt for you.
	And you get to show off.
	Well, in this case, it's PEX.
	So it seems to be a man, a man's shirt.
	But this is from my sketch.
	I invented that shirt, but it's for women.
	And it was in a thing that's been purged from the media, from YouTube now, from the internet, called If Dudes Ran Fashion.
	What are you doing?
	Whoa!
	Look at you!
	Alexander Wang.
	I'm just wearing all my wife's stuff.
	Obviously, a...
	You can't tell.
	Hermes.
	Hermes, dumbass.
	She was a really cool actor.
	I wonder what ever happened to her.
	Now I'm obsessed with updates.
	What do you want?
	You don't even care.
	I do care.
	I think you did a wonderful job.
	You got a bunch of stuff.
	Guys don't care about fashion.
	We do.
	We wanna, we love.
	It's not like, I don't know a lot about art, but I know what I like and I love the Mimas.
	I can't even imagine what I'd be wearing if dudes ran the fashion world.
	That would actually be kind of awesome.
	But watch the watch.
	He doesn't.
	That's a Ryan McGinley picture of Dash Snow that I fucking lost.
	It's probably worth $5,000.
	Or maybe it was stolen.
	That dude's alive.
	Great guy.
	The other dude died.
	That's on a George President.
	That guy with the beer on his chest.
	He's dead.
	That's our old office at Ooster in Dumbo.
	That's not a hit.
	That's not a hit.
	That is not a hit.
	That's called a fight, dude.
	Not a punch.
	That's a fight.
	When you deliver a Percot, it's not here.
	So he had some weird disease.
	He never told anyone about it.
	Instead of having a GoFundMe and crying about it, he just kept it to himself.
	And one day, zippity-doodah.
	He's diddly dead.
	There's the same piranha.
	He's not here.
	You're out of your mind.
	Guys, it's a closed fizz body blow.
	Okay.
	It is almost midnight, and you have no designs for me.
	Nothing at all.
	Fashion week starts tomorrow.
	I'm gonna need some designs by tonight, or we're gonna go bankrupt.
	I wrote this.
	Hey, Gavin, how do you design a clothing line and it's ready for fashion week the next day?
	How do the clothes get manufactured?
	Did you ever fuck a black guy?
	I am serious!
	Whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Okay.
	God, I hate my job.
	She's right though, guys.
	Seriously.
	We gotta get going.
	Let's start making some clothes.
	All right.
	Let's start with the perfect design, okay?
	An undershirt.
	High-heel shoes.
	High-heel shoes.
	Okay, okay, that's good.
	Draw Shulchik first.
	I can't picture it.
	That's a soldier.
	Okay, nice big lips.
	And then the hair.
	Big long hair like that.
	What about holes in the shirt where the titties are?
	Oh, I like that.
	Okay.
	Because she's the guy who made the commercial where she is today.
	Oh.
	Yeah, like mean girls.
	Okay, what about bottoms?
	Do we want to do a skirt?
	Do you want to do jeans?
	Do you want to do...
	What about ripped up jeans?
	What about no pants?
	That's it.
	Nailed it.
	So it's a t-shirt with some tit holes and onion tits.
	It's the perfect outfit.
	Okay, in TV?
	Where the world was normal, I'd be writing comedy speakers.
	Yes.
	This is quality.
	So she's nude from the waist down.
	She's a little nude, but if she has a long one, she could go below her area.
	That's her colour.
	Well, okay, so colors, sizes, textiles.
	Huge variety, okay?
	I'm glad you asked.
	For the top, we want from very skinny to super fat, and a huge variety of sizes with the shoes.
	The top is made out of, I don't know, fucking t-shirt or whatever.
	And the shoes are leather, I mean, shiny, not too shiny, just your basic high-heel shoes.
	Right, okay.
	Well, you don't want any patterns.
	I'm just kidding, by the way.
	In my single days, I used to do that, cut the holes out of girls' shirts that I was horsing around with.
	Wow.
	Just because it turned me on, because it looked weird.
	Yeah, it's kind of cool.
	A little bit of clothes, a little fun.
	Yeah.
	I've got a surprise for you after this, guys.
	Oh.
	T-shirt.
	It's normal cloth that people have on.
	Just use a t-shirt.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Let's just use your t-shirt then.
	Yeah.
	Crap tattoo.
	Whoa.
	I'm so lonely, broke.
	That blonde chick, the bigger one.
	She was staying at my buddy's house in his pool house in LA, and her pit rescue pit mauled the maid within an inch of her life.
	Wow.
	Oh, Jesus.
	My heart wanna lonely, bro.
	Rude in the sack.
	Hi, I'm here for the casting.
	Hey, kid, you play basketball?
	I'm a professional model.
	And with IMG.
	What?
	I thought you were like a teenager.
	I'm like, this kid's going to make a lot of money one day, right?
	I thought it was a boy with a high voice.
	What the fuck is IMG?
	Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
	What the fuck is that?
	That's a good one.
	He was cute.
	What the fuck?
	Warn you that these are not professional models.
	I don't think they've done runway, so.
	What about a runway?
	What are they going to land a fucking plane?
	They're just hot chicks.
	Okay, how do you guys feel about hair?
	What do you guys want?
	Definitely long, never in a top bun, no buns.
	Yeah.
	And makeup?
	She wears a bun.
	Don't care.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	For the makeup, we want a lot of that eyeshadow shit around their eyes.
	And then for the lips, lipstick.
	Sure.
	Red.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Don't go crazy with it, though.
	Not like when it's pancaked on like a fucking clown.
	No, I like the clown.
	Yeah, maybe that is good.
	You guys have a really, this is very helpful.
	In other words, we don't really know what we want.
	We just like it when you try.
	Find a bounce.
	And if you don't, we can work with that too.
	Got the makers.
	Cankeles?
	No problem.
	Just thinning hair and pancake tits.
	Pizza slices.
	That's about it.
	Those are the only deal breakers.
	And not insanely obese, like where your gunt sort of hangs down over your belt like that.
	That has to be fixed.
	But we're not kicking you out of bed.
	No.
	Just change where the belt is.
	Put the belt up on her.
	Put on some spanks.
	So the two white girls are wearing real, have their real tits out, and the black girl didn't want to, so I found a bikini top online that has nipples on it.
	So it looks exactly like black tits.
	You want some fries?
	You want some dyes?
	Why not?
	What are you on?
	A fucking juice cleanse?
	Sorry, that was fucking.
	Oh, shit.
	No.
	I can tell her frozen.
	I don't eat that shit.
	Terrible actor.
	You know, everything we did back then had a highly disproportionate number of black people in it because we could only afford like 100 a day for extras.
	And most white people were like, I make that waitress sing no, no.
	But black people were usually on welfare.
	Sorry.
	But a disproportionate number were.
	So they beat half that 100 is just gravy.
	So almost every sketch, my whole movie that got shelved, it looks like it was filmed in Africa.
	I only eat handcuffed fries.
	Shoe, I love this chick.
	What about you?
	I don't give a fuck.
	Yo, I love this chick, too.
	So like, I don't give a shit.
	Fucking dig in, huh?
	This is so fucking good.
	Is this from In N Out?
	In N Out.
	I like this sound.
	This is what I designed as heaven.
	I've got to hand it to Brian Gaynor and Chad Harbald, who probably don't want to be associated with me anymore, but they would take my ideas and turn it, improve them vastly.
	Like, I never thought, I don't think I thought of this opera idea.
	Takes off.
	As we can see, it did.
	I predicted it.
	Nice, racially segregated.
	This girl was super pretty, but she looks like shit in this clip.
	I think she'd been up all night party.
	That's my bike.
	I still have that bike.
	I guess I've always had wrinkly eyes.
	Are you crying?
	Okay, can I get a blackberry margarita, please?
	And a water.
	God.
	Hey, guys, thanks for checking out our video.
	Oh, I really hurt them in this.
	Make sure to check out our feature film, How do you have on Amazon and iTunes?
	And fucking shut up, boy.
	Oh, they didn't show it up.
	Oh, and you pushed them off?
	Threw him down out of the office and down the stairs.
	Holy shit.
	Not really down the stairs, but down a couple steps.
	I've seen you knock Beckles.
	There's this one clip.
	You just like pushed them off the world, basically.
	I was like, wow.
	Shoving it.
	I did not see that coming.
	Here's those girls without their...
	I know you're watching that going, I wish I could see those tits without the blur.
	Well, here it is.
	You saw it here first, folks.
	That was the day we were shooting, and I just dug that up.
	Fantastic tits.
	Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
	Wow.
	Not safe for work, by the way.
	NFFW, in retrospect.
	Beth Hoyt was the name of the girl in that.
	I wonder how her career is doing.
	Let's see.
	Comedian?
	See, all these people that I had a great relationship with, if I were to text her right now, I would bet you $1 million.
	Even if I said, hey, Beth, I found $100 that you left at my house.
	She would never respond.
	I married the wrong guy.
	Uh-oh.
	2019.
	We're at this time of year again.
	Here we are about 150,000 views.
	That's great.
	That's a successful young lady.
	Let's all on the count of three.
	Let's all say our favorite past voice winner.
	Three, two.
	I have in my apartment, I have a blue, headless, armless mannequin.
	Who else?
	And I got her, I bought her to Flea Market because she was really...
	Such a good scout.
	And such a good scout.
	I saw her, whatever, 15 years ago, and I just went, I got a good feeling about this chick.
	She's different.
	She's quality.
	We're a sexist show.
	All we do is shit on female comedians.
	And her, I'm watching, and I'm like, she's got the magic.
	I could spot the magic.
	Like Jimmy Kimmel says, you have it.
	I don't know what it is, but you have it.
	And you're getting good at it, if you will.
	Dang it.
	And I have friends over, and she doesn't even have a phone, you know?
	But I do wonder, like, do I have a personality disorder, you know, that I care so much what Vanessa thinks about me?
	But she told me I don't.
	And I trust her.
	I don't trust her.
	She's kind of acting.
	Sometimes.
	Yeah, you know what I mean?
	It's a new kind of comedy.
	It's a character.
	Seems super comfy.
	That's not exactly new.
	She's acting on stage.
	She's about to smash a watermelon with a giant mallet.
	She's never been done.
	But I want to find out if she's married or not.
	I care about her ovaries.
	Let's see.
	Because she's too old to breed by.
	No, no, but that...
	Stop.
	That thing is called I Married the Wrong Guy.
	Oh, okay.
	Don't leave it, but jump ahead.
	And I like to.
	Because is she divorced?
	So I got an Uber, and I think about them a lot, but sure by now that they're going to get away with it.
	And you have to be the one to ruin their day and be like, can I...
	And then they hate you, and you hate yourself.
	You suck.
	You see boarding group.
	And then like the Stewardess Club.
	And that's about a plan.
	Plan.
	So that I could have a kid without having to have a kid, you know?
	And also makeup.
	So, I figure that out.
	I do want to have kids.
	I do want to have a kid.
	I got married, and I'm always meant to marry a guy who had a kid.
	That was always the plan.
	So that I could have a kid without having to have a kid, you know?
	And also then there's less pressure to get along with the kid.
	I'm very worried I'm going to have a baby and I'm going to be like, I don't like him.
	And then if you have a stepkid, there's just no pressure.
	You get to be like, his daughter, she hates me, you know?
	And then at some point you get to have the moment where you're like, go to your room, Jesse.
	And then she's like, you're not my mom.
	And I'll laugh and I'll pour her some wine.
	I don't care if she drinks.
	She's not my kid, you know?
	No, but maybe in my next marriage, I'll get one of those.
	I'm awkward around kids because I feel like until you have them.
	So she doesn't have a kid.
	She wants a kid.
	She's married the wrong guy.
	We get it.
	It's a genuflect.
	It's a misdirect.
	Like my 10 things I hate about the Jews that everyone took literally because they want Nazis so bad.
	How to fight a baby didn't piss anyone off.
	No one assumed I wanted to fight a baby.
	But he must hate the Jews because he said so in a title of a video I've never seen.
	But she must have been like 32 when we did that sketch, which I believe was in 2010, which means she's 42 now.
	4,000 followers.
	I mean, if you're married and he's the breadwinner, we're pretty good.
	What are those radio clips?
	I don't know.
	I was looking for politics here.
	Let's see.
	Can you Tell me how climate change has affected you.
	Oh, wow.
	Obviously, I want to help you reduce your carbon footprint in any way that I can.
	I think that's like a friend.
	I don't know.
	Is she in there?
	Well, I would start by giving you a long eco-friendly foot rub.
	Politics.
	Anyway, I think we're losing them again.
	This ship is...
	This is a very strange show we're having.
	It's a long, strange journey.
	Also in me news, you know, remember I told you my favorite thing to do, especially to working-class dudes born and raised in Brooklyn, is you end the phone call with love you, and they always go, as you're hanging up, you're, what the fuck?
	Brooklyn guys don't do gay jokes.
	And I've noticed cops, maybe this is true of your friends, but cops keep sending me these videos that start out with a super hot chick, and she's just like, about to show you her tits, and then it cuts to like a guy fisting a guy up his butt with like Crisco oil everywhere.
	An ass and fist of color.
	Or another one, it was a woman.
	What was it now?
	Oh yeah, this was a car crash.
	And it was a car in a jewelry store.
	And then the car's pulling out and you see glass everywhere.
	And you're like, oh, shit.
	And then boom, it cuts to a guy covered in his own feces masturbating.
	And he's covered.
	Like, he looks like he's in blackface.
	He's brown.
	He's in shit face.
	He's shit faced.
	Uh-oh.
	This is Beth, by the way.
	Update.
	Tell them Ruth sent you.
	That's not good.
	And that weird, that means I love abortions, by the way.
	That's what that little cloth means.
	Pro-abortion.
	I fuck guys when I'm drunk and make mistakes.
	I don't think feminists realize that.
	Yeah, of course.
	Look, we're not.
	I don't look at that and go, oh, well, I don't like her anymore.
	No, I know.
	I mean, it's a girl.
	Just to confirm.
	Yeah.
	Even with if I had people I liked that were actors or musicians, I would, of course it's going to be Black Lives Matter and shit.
	They're not known for their nuance, these people.
	But I show them, so I take those cop ones and then I'll send them to like Tommy Baggs, who's so fucking Italian.
	I was talking about this lawsuit that costs a buddy of mine $10,000 just to say this is a ridiculous lawsuit.
	But even that costs that much money.
	Frivolous lawsuits.
	They infuriate me.
	And he goes, and I go, that's like, that's him taking his kids away to Jamaica for a vacation, you know?
	And Tommy Baggs is like, Gavin, you know, they always say your name.
	Gavin, for me, that's like, that's a Burberry tracksuit.
	That's like two nice Gucci tracksuits.
	You know?
	Nice guy.
	I won't be throwing any money at you when I win the lottery there, Tommy B. It doesn't look like it gets well invested.
	Unless I want to see you wear goofy shit.
	Then yes, I will.
	Where's this dude?
	That's him all dressed up.
	Anyway, sorry, long story, but I'll send him these cop things, which bikers always send me too.
	Bikers and cops, if you looked at my phone, you wouldn't be able to tell who's a biker and who's a cop.
	But anyway, I send them to him.
	He's like, dude, what the fuck?
	Why did you do that?
	And then the next day I see him at the gym, he's like, like he walks over to me as I walk into the gym.
	Hey, why did you send that to me?
	Where the fuck did you get that?
	Was that real?
	There's something wrong with you, Gavin.
	Something.
	You're ill.
	You're sick in the head.
	Don't ever do that again.
	Which of course means, please, which of course means I'm going to be doing it on a regular basis.
	Now I'm combing through gay porn sites trying to find the perfect scene.
	They're throwing themselves into the road gladly.
	So anyway, this guy stole my fucking...
	I love you, bit.
	Hit my line after work, though.
	What?
	Have a going.
	Hey, get your bitch ass out and stop playing.
	Come on, yo.
	Chill, yo.
	Have a going.
	You cute, though.
	What the fuck type of gay ass shit leave you home, man.
	What do you mean, bro?
	I said, have a good day.
	Y'all weird as hell in this gay.
	I'm weird.
	Aye, sweetie pie.
	Stop playing me with your goofy ass.
	What do you mean, bro?
	That's the thing I understood.
	I didn't understand the first one.
	First one he said, hit my line.
	What does that mean?
	Fuck me?
	No, call me.
	Hit my line.
	I get you.
	Alright, finance.
	Finance.
	Finance.
	What you mean, bro?
	Honey bun.
	Say what, man?
	It's a honey bun.
	What the fuck do you mean, honey bun?
	I like a honey bun of you, man.
	Alright, cutie tootie.
	Stop the lamb before I fuck you up, bro.
	Fuck me up?
	For what?
	Stop a laughing, boy.
	Said, have a good day.
	Hit my line after work, though.
	They got so pissed.
	So quick.
	That's what good humor is.
	Good humor is when it really pisses someone off for not a good reason.
	I don't like prank calls.
	Every time they're on Howard Stern, I switch the channel.
	I don't like people wasting someone else's time.
	But if the guy's an asshole and loses his temper, like an angry Scottish or Irish guy, then they're kind of funny because the guy's overreacting.
	Like I heard one, Sal is this, Sal Governati is this retarded Italian guy.
	His dad's even stupider than him, which is hard to believe.
	And his dad, like, just fucked a bunch of people around the world, not around the world, around Brooklyn, and got them pregnant.
	So he has his family, but he's got a bunch of kids.
	So Sal Governati has a bunch of half-brothers and sisters.
	So his dad from his gumas.
	But his dad got in a lot of trouble when they first started coming out of the woodwork, but now the mother's like, whatever.
	Fuck, I don't want to hear about it.
	So Sal calls up his dad and goes, Dad, some Swedish chick from Sweden is here.
	And she says that you're her kid.
	And it's the, how dare you girl.
	He's look up Sal's dad.
	How dare you, maybe?
	And the guy, he's like, oh, matsing gulf fungmagan.
	And he goes, who's this?
	And she goes, you've stolen my childhood.
	And he's like, and then she repeats, how dare you?
	He goes, dare you?
	I fucking dare you.
	Shut your mouth.
	Look, where's your mother at?
	That's your problem.
	And then the wife gets on the phone.
	She's like, leave him alone.
	Anyway, you fucked it up.
	You didn't find it in time.
	Wait till I get to Sal's story.
	Oh, boy.
	Wait till you see all the story.
	Wait.
	Yeah, that's how they imitate Sal's story.
	Oh, my God.
	That's pretty cool looking.
	Tony's not here.
	My name is Amarque.
	Okay, anyway.
	Sabo sent me something last night.
	A long time ago, he put the head of Gavin Newsome, which he's turned into a reptilian mask, on top of this giant clown structure.
	And I said, How the fuck did you do that?
	Did you climb up there?
	That makes my ball.
	Do your balls sometimes retract when you're on the edge of a tall building?
	Or even when you see someone on the edge of a tall building, your balls go like that?
	Like, I think your balls are trying to protect you, but that's not going to help, dude.
	And I go, please don't tell me you climbed up there or my balls will go up into my neck.
	And he goes, no, it was a drone.
	And I said, let me see.
	And it took him like three months, but he finally sent me the footage.
	To shut down Southern California beaches on the 4th of July.
	Then to have the balls to try and dictate how many friends and family members you can have over for Thanksgiving.
	You should work on your sable dictatorship.
	How many did Thanksgiving cancel Christmas?
	You only see that in the movies.
	You only see that in the movies.
	Damn it.
	I had to come up with a way to hang this crappy individual's head in effigy.
	The question was, how?
	This is our last shot, buddy.
	Wow.
	So cool.
	So the drone takes the wire and puts it over the thumb.
	What?
	Use it as a pulley system?
	Yeah, and then comes back.
	Breaks it.
	Just like you broke your dad's drone.
	That's $300.
	So now it's the relatively easy part.
	This is for Christmas.
	This is for Thanksgiving.
	During China's Cultural Revolution, Red Garden is the first time.
	It's the best.
	Wow.
	This is so much more effective than anything.
	Maybe Charlie Kirk going to schools and de-brainwashing kids.
	That's a major impact too.
	Nick Fuentes and Alex Jones and Allie going all these places to stop the steal.
	That's huge too.
	But this is the same level of effectiveness, I would say.
	Now, how do they get that rope out of there so that way?
	So I think what he does, now he gets it, and he just has to tie it to one of those lights or something.
	At least he doesn't have to go as high as the hand.
	There's a million places he could get that.
	He could tie it to a rock and then throw the rock up over the ledge so they have to get up on that ledge to get it down.
	Right.
	He used to do away with their four olds.
	Old ideas, old cultures, old habits, old customs.
	That's why they're doing away with our holidays.
	That's why they're shutting down our businesses, taking down our statues, poisoning our pastimes like football and basketball.
	This has nothing to do with your health.
	Suck if that guy's bucket touched a power line and he died taking it down.
	He blew his whole face off.
	Gavin Newsome.
	Gavin Newsome.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	See that guy to have his face blasted off?
	His name is Dallas Wayans, W-E-I-N-S.
	And he was just painting a building in Fort Worth, Texas.
	And then the bucket, just like that bucket he was on, drifted over.
	And he's like, what the hell?
	This is kind of a...
	Power lines zap his face off.
	Oh, it's gone.
	There he is.
	Face off.
	Face is gone.
	He used to just be a puppet.
	That's not his face.
	That's nothing like what he looks like.
	That's the after, yeah.
	That's the guy who died.
	Isn't that incredible they can do that?
	They're way better now.
	Now they're like, hello, how are you today?
	So this is my new faith, and I'm pretty happy with everything.
	I can't really smell very well, but I want to see his face before.
	Yeah, there it is.
	It's the thumbnail.
	The link here.
	Yeah, look at that.
	Wow.
	That could have been Sabo's buddy.
	And now he's doing great.
	He can't see.
	You'll never, obviously, never see again.
	Yeah, it's really not that bad.
	The hair and everything?
	Yeah.
	He looks like Mark Ruffalo in Man in Black.
	No, no, there wasn't Mark Ruffalo.
	Vincent D'Anofrio.
	Vincent Denofrio.
	We just watched that.
	Yeah, that's great.
	You want me to put my hands on my head?
	Like this?
	Okay, jump to one five.
	Well, no, maybe just do the next one.
	So Sabo just did these pictures of Reverend Warnock.
	He preaches at the same church that Martin Luther King used to preach at.
	And that's a statue that's out front.
	It's Martin Luther King with a baby.
	I presume it's about Martin Luther King, and he knows children are the future.
	And that's him holding up a beautiful black man, holding up a beautiful black child, and making sure black children and black people have a future in this country.
	Nice statue.
	Very nice.
	So Sabo noticed that Reverend Warnock is pro-choice.
	He's pro-abortion.
	So now the statue changes its meaning with Reverend Warnock there.
	And now it's offering up babies to the fucking parenthood, Planned Parenthood gods, to the abortion gods, to further your political career.
	So he's putting those around.
	That's great.
	Also, speaking...
	Oh, he did a funny fleshlight too, but we'll get to that in a second.
	Not only does Reverend Warnock say that it's okay to kill babies, but he also thinks Jesus was Muslim.
	He calls him a Palestinian prophet because he was born in Bethlehem, and Bethlehem today is technically in Palestine.
	It sucks, dude.
	I've been there.
	The birthplace of Jesus is surrounded by people wailing and praying.
	There's an iron fence where the Christian church is, where Jesus was born, but it's surrounded with mobs and mobs and mobs of fucking Muslims.
	Just leave.
	Just go somewhere else.
	Faith Goldie and I joked about her coming back and taking over Bethlehem and her breeding until there were so many Christians that they outpopulated Bethlehem and started spreading it.
	And there'd be statues of Her with like a dart in her mouth, that's what Canadians call cigarettes, and a baby on her hip, and a Molson Canadian hat on, but like in stone.
	They're not even close to Virgin Goldie.
	No, we call the Virgin Goldie, but Virgin will be quote.
	And I love this Pope.
	He said, well, I'm not a Marxist, but I know a few Marxists, and they're pretty good people.
	Abortion, Marxism.
	Keep going.
	So hard to discover and to hear an authentic vision and voice of authentic spirituality that gives voice to the least of these.
	And when it shows up, people describe it as some strange ideology rather than the vision of that poor Palestinian prophet who said that the spirit of the Lord is upon me because God has anointed me to preach good news to the people.
	So he was not a Jew.
	He was a Muslim.
	And then Saba also made this awesome fleshlight that I'm a big fan of.
	That was State Assembly Speaker Willie Brown.
	Shortly after she blew him, she was appointed to the California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board.
	And then he also appointed her to the Medical Assistance Commission.
	And she is about to become the president of the United States from a blowjob.
	I think it's worth it.
	People are going to be angry that you said that.
	Because they think Trump's going to win.
	I still have faith.
	Goldie.
	The left can't meme, and they've just explained why they can't meme.
	This is why they're not funny.
	You see, right-wing memes are short and sweet because you're not supposed to say sweet when you're criticizing something.
	Because they ask you to appeal to knee-jerk assumptions which have already been deeply coded into your mind by social propaganda.
	By contrast, leftist memes are tasked with breaking your social brainwashing, which requires complexity and nuance.
	No, dude, you guys are the king of brainwashing.
	You think Ahmed Aubrey was going for a jog.
	You think Breonna Taylor was saying, help, help after a game of Uno.
	So you are the ones who have to be deprogrammed.
	And brevity is wit.
	It's as simple as that.
	Click on him.
	Who is this fucking clown?
	I just thought of a meme for this.
	It's like you just, you know how sometimes it's in a different language?
	You click translate?
	Uh-huh.
	And then, so it's a little thing where you click translate and it's just like, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay a bunch of times.
	That could be funny.
	Ooh, he's eating a snake.
	That's him looking at himself in the mirror and then taking a picture of it.
	Anarchist.
	Anarchist building the new in the shell of the old.
	I run the YouTube channel Anarch.
	Well, now we have to see that in this silly wandering episode.
	Obedience is not a virtue.
	Obedience is not a virtue.
	Q ⁇ A stream.
	Why are you such a faggot?
	Every time somebody asks this, I'll just start saying it more shortly.
	An anarchist program by Malatesta.
	Anarchy by Malatesta.
	Anarchism and the Black Revolution by Irvin.
	The ABCs of Anarchism by Berkman.
	And what was the one I said?
	Why does it look like The Punisher's Friend in The Punisher?
	The one with his mouth all by Rudolph Rock.
	Excellent introductions.
	I don't know who you're talking about.
	But I want to hear more of him.
	So there he's giving book recommendations because your ridiculous theories can only exist as fictional literature and not in real life.
	What do I think of my conversation with Sock Dunleft?
	Yeah, I've heard all of his questions before.
	That's not any offense intended to him.
	It's just that I have debated a lot on Twitter.
	I've debated a lot on Twitter.
	You've been around the block.
	Look at his videos and go to most popular.
	Let's see this guy at his very best.
	Sort by the best.
	What's that guy?
	8,000?
	Oh, wow, yeah.
	8,000.
	So this is him.
	Perfect.
	Today's video will be focused upon a very important topic in leftist theory.
	Namely, the role and nature of the state in the revolutionary punisher guy.
	We've already seen who you're talking about.
	It would be an understatement to say that this has been a point of contention for a variety of committed socialists.
	Indeed, it represents the most significant early theory of the world.
	One which has endured until this day.
	And we shouldn't be shocked that this cognitive bias occurs enough to have earned such a reputation.
	Humans have an inherent desire to solve the problems that lie in front of them.
	And given a single tool to solve that problem, they'll have a tendency to attempt and discover every way that that particular tool could conceivably overcome that particular problem.
	Every challenge he raises.
	Ryan Long's got a new one out.
	Vice is a joke.
	It looks awesome.
	I mean, it is awesome.
	This is a trailer for it.
	Well, let's just watch it first.
	So it's my job as a therapist to help them get in touch with the person they once were.
	Kind of interesting, the whole place is full of woo!
	Okay, you know what?
	Let's sit you back down.
	Let's get you back down.
	I keep having this recurring nightmare where they need my help, but I can't help them without my vice job.
	Who needs your help, Daniel?
	The Latinxes.
	Without blogging, I lost my sense of purpose.
	You don't work there anymore!
	I'm on a deadline!
	I see a white devil, an appropriator.
	This is your mother.
	Try to look past gender and race.
	I need breaks!
	It's so weird that I started that company to get away from all of this shit, and then it just became everything we were fighting against.
	You know, we were banned.
	We had a...
	At my old school, Carlton University in Ottawa, we were banned Because we had an ad that had the picture, it was a skateboard company, and they had the picture of the maid from Brady Bunch.
	Brady Bunch, and it just said dyke.
	And they banned us for that.
	Man, that was the thing.
	Vice, the word, it means offensive.
	In the list of definitions in the dictionary, one of them is offensive.
	So we're gonna do a little roleplay, and I want you to interact with me.
	I'm so sorry.
	No, just act normal.
	Hi, would you like a beer?
	See, isn't that family norms being shoved down my throat?
	It's not enough.
	Without looking for problems.
	What, someone just has to stay at home?
	As a cisgendered white male, it looks like it's gonna rain.
	Okay, now I want you to try it again, but without the first part.
	It might rain?
	Sino, wasn't that better?
	I don't know.
	I see a man who held a position only because of a rigged system.
	I need to tweet one thing.
	No tweeting.
	I have to.
	I have to lose some of the things.
	Let's shut this down.
	Let's shut it down.
	I have two vice rings.
	How many do you have?
	None, and that's okay.
	Because cold turkey can be a little too traumatic, it's important to...
	I invented the vice ring.
	It's like a thing you got after a while.
	We should- Oh, can we have GOML rings?
	No.
	Come on.
	That's gay.
	Okay, let's watch one more joke.
	Okay, I think you've had your ration for today.
	We're gonna let you scold again after dinner.
	I want you to look yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see.
	A colonizer?
	I see the problem.
	Daniel, go deeper.
	I see.
	Me.
	How doesn't that feel better?
	I don't like crying in jokes.
	Hey, Mom.
	You cried in your last sketch.
	Well, I had tears on my face.
	Oh, I see, I said.
	Just want to let you know, I'm sorry I called you a Nazi at Passover.
	All right.
	Now, this you probably have already heard about, but it is Golden, Golden Brown.
	Check this out.
	It's not a joke.
	It's created by Kentucky Fried Chicken.
	They are the sponsors.
	They are the money behind it.
	So they see it as a way to do a cheap commercial.
	And it's the story of Colonel Sanders while using absolutely nothing from the story of Colonel Sanders.
	Colonel Sanders was a family man, hard-working man.
	The great thing about him was he took his recipe so seriously that even after he became big and he started franchising, he would go to the person's house, sleep on their couch, and for a week, show them how to make the chicken and make sure they got it perfect.
	And then after five days, everything looks like it's running smoothly.
	Okay.
	And then he'd go to the next one.
	He was an amazing man.
	He was not a chef at a rich person's house who fucked everyone.
	What the hell are you doing?
	A lifetime original mini-movie.
	You don't answer my proposal, and now you're not answering my call.
	I think I'm falling for the new chef.
	Jessica is falling for Harley.
	Have you seen me here?
	Nope.
	Leave Jessica.
	This Sunday at noon.
	Please don't call me this Sunday at noon.
	I'm busy.
	It's not April 1st, next Sunday at noon.
	That's Mario Lopez as Colonel Sanders, and it's sponsored and created by Colonel fucking Sanders by KFC.
	Imagine he could come back from the grave and see this fucking bullshit.
	Are you kidding me?
	Who's that?
	What is that, a Mexican or a Chinaman?
	Clubmasters.
	What the fuck?
	I didn't go to no rich person's house.
	Rich people wouldn't have me.
	Fuck, what do they know about chicken?
	Good recipe that's gonna change the world.
	Harlan claims to have some secret recipe.
	Why is there a colored in the house?
	What kind of fucking movie is this?
	It's a weird-looking kitchen.
	If you marry my daughter, I promise there'll be more long weekends.
	Oh, now they got the Chinaman making out with the kid?
	I'll take care of this.
	He should be working on the railroads where he belongs.
	You think they'd tie me up, that little rich faggot, I would slit his throat.
	How come I'm a Mexican in this?
	What's a Lopez?
	Colonel Sanders in a recipe.
	I think his name is Harlan Sanders.
	Sounds kind of like Colonel.
	Is this going to make you want to buy chicken?
	You know what?
	This is the blackification, the Hispanification of everything.
	They have everything.
	Even the new Batman, the fucking commissioner's the black guy now.
	No more fucking awesome little guy who was Gary Oldman.
	Am I swearing too much on this show?
	Awesome little guy.
	I feel like I might be saying the F word a little too much.
	They've been known to have like weird merch and stuff like that.
	And it's...
	I think it's supposed to be kind of jokey.
	We might be missing.
	Oh, shit.
	Because they have like weird everything.
	You know, it's always...
	I'm embarrassed now.
	Like, their store is like, you can buy a tent, like a heated tent.
	Oh, yeah.
	And they have track suits that are KFC top and bottom.
	The earrings.
	And they've had all every funny comedian has been Colonel Sanders, including one very unfunny comedian, that fucking loser who wears suits all the time.
	Oh, Paul F. Tompkins?
	Yeah, Paul F. Tompkins.
	He's a stink F stinker.
	Okay, we're running out of time here.
	We did so much wandering, I barely got to the news.
	But that's fun to try sometimes.
	Not every show has to be news.
	But we should get to this.
	Pearl Harbor was barely discussed by anyone yesterday.
	It was hard to find on Twitter or the news.
	And it was especially hard to find on our show.
	And I apologize for that.
	That's embarrassing.
	And more importantly, Ryan, as a Japanese person, I'd like you to look into the camera and apologize to America for what your ancestors did.
	We were born so innocent.
	Sorry.
	This isn't what you want.
	And I'm sorry.
	My son's ancestors murdered thousands of Americans and started a World War.
	Didn't start a World War II.
	I like the magazine.
	Joe Biggs goes, Whatever it was, 72 years ago today, the Japanese ordered two of the hottest, spiciest meatballs you can find.
	Something like that.
	I'm not doing it justice.
	What the hell?
	That's funny.
	Japanese people are really sensitive about Pearl Harbor.
	Yeah?
	Yeah, like I brought, I pretended I was mad at this Japanese guy at Max Fish once, and I was like, sitting there drinking your beer like Pearl Harbor never happened.
	And he's like, it's like Nazis with Germany.
	And he goes, can you think of another country that was brave enough to stand up to America and have an attack like that?
	Whoa.
	Dude, I'm just kidding.
	That's a weird spin.
	I guess we know where you stand.
	But look at 2.4.
	They fact-checked Trump saying this was Pearl Harbor, and it was bad.
	So Instagram put a warning factor in the middle.
	So he just said, like, wait, go down a bit?
	Yeah.
	Remembering Pearl Harbor and the date, the president, the first lady, and a vet who was there, and the names.
	Well, actually, Mr. Trump.
	Oh, it says President Donald J. Trump.
	And then it goes, Joe Biden is the projected winner of the 2020 U.S. presidential election.
	What?
	You know he's still president, right?
	No matter how much cheating went on.
	Even if there was zero cheating, the president is the president until he's not.
	What is it, January 20th?
	I think so.
	So now President Trump can't even call himself President Trump.
	Here was a shocking video.
	Santa told a kid that he can't have a fucking Nerf toy.
	Oh, okay.
	Oh.
	22.
	Yeah, I should have told you.
	Should we have a Santa bumper?
	Do we have a Santa bumper?
	We don't, but we should.
	Yeah, we should.
	Well, I want Jews for Santa.
	Oh, yeah, that's right.
	Can you make us a Jews for Santa bumper and a graphic with...
	You don't have to be very Jewish.
	Like, don't do something like give him a hook nose or have a star of David.
	Just Jews for Santa.
	What do you want for Christmas?
	You can do something.
	Is that a woman?
	Oh no.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Not even the buttons.
	Nope.
	If your cat wants to get it for you, that's fine, but I can't bring it to you.
	That's not the point.
	Light boats.
	Bicycles.
	Trucks.
	What do you think?
	Why didn't you knock him out?
	You can do more damage with a truck than a gun.
	Sometimes.
	What do you think?
	It's okay, we're dead.
	It is a guy.
	I would lose control.
	I would choke him out.
	You didn't just make him cry once.
	You just ruined Santa forever.
	And as I've said, as a parent, what is your job?
	Well, now it's getting the kids off screens.
	But as far as info goes, delaying what sex is for the longest time, delaying what race is for the longest time, delaying 9-11, not telling them what that was for the longest time, and extending Santa for the longest possible time.
	Those four.
	And it's really sad when they become sexual or when they don't believe in Santa anymore or when they realize that a plane could smash into their building at any given time.
	Or that that guy's called black and blacks are a thing.
	You know, my son once said, it's funny how so many of my friends have black skin.
	And I was like, perfect.
	You don't even know the fucking term.
	But can you imagine it?
	Why is she so calm?
	She doesn't want to ruin Santa more.
	I would put the kid in the stroller and then take it down.
	I assume there's a little hill there thing.
	And I would hug him.
	Yeah, let's hug him and stuff.
	Do that.
	That's the mom's job.
	But then come back up and go, let's motherfucker.
	Get him a nerf gun.
	I think I'd have to choke him, right?
	How could you not choke him?
	She's going to get him a nerf gun that day.
	Before they leave the game.
	Oh, you know what would be cool?
	You get a Nerf gun.
	Ah.
	And then you come back and you just shoot him.
	That's great.
	That is fucking hilarious.
	Get what you fucking deserve!
	Isn't there like a Nerf gun?
	I saw this.
	I discovered this new guy on Instagram who's super funny.
	And he just, sometimes he's not him.
	He's quoting someone else.
	But this guy brought up a good point about Santa.
	2-3.
	In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door.
	He always gets in his sleigh and fucks off like 20 miles east.
	That's so true.
	Is he already done?
	Are we always seeing him on the last house on that particular block?
	And if it is, yeah, Santa would very rarely be doing that takeoff thing.
	He'd be methodically going through blop, plop, plop, plop, plop.
	He could probably park the sled and then walk some of the times.
	Okay.
	Oh, this we got to get to.
	China.
	Uh-oh.
	It's not COVID.
	We don't have a bumper for it.
	Oh, frick.
	A viewer sent this email in, this video in, and I ignored it, which I deeply regret.
	Wait, they can't read it because I'm in the way.
	Trump waged a war with China.
	Why couldn't we handle him?
	So this was sent to me by a reader, and I just was like, yeah, whatever.
	And then I watched Tucker, and he thought it was so big, he had two Chinese guys double-check the translation, and it's been removed from the internet.
	But it's too Late, it's been duplicated too many times.
	The original is gone, I mean, and he's just basically this guy admitting that Chinese operatives and spies have people in very high-up places.
	They no longer had people.
	The reason this is relevant is because our biggest criticism of Biden, besides the fact that he's dead mentally, is that he's a Chinese asset.
	And this guy is confirming that.
	He never mentions Biden per se, but he talks about all the different spies that they have.
	And then it comes out 3.6 today.
	The biggest story today is that Eric Swalwell, you remember that fucking cuck?
	The fart man.
	Well, he's known as the fart man.
	Believe it or not, I don't think farts are the hugest deal.
	When Juliani farted, I didn't have a heart attack.
	This guy's allowed to fart.
	You're allowed to fart.
	Almost everything farts, but not everything.
	But Swalwell, go to 3-7.
	You remember him when he said white males have to take a step back or something?
	Yeah, click on that video.
	I don't think anyone's identity should hold them back, but I think the next president should see all races, all identities, but recognize where you can't speak for someone's experience and pass the mic to someone who can.
	I've pledged that I would ask a woman to serve as vice president.
	I would put forward a diverse candidate for.
	Speaking of like the tyranny of lies and not just clichés, I don't even know what that means.
	Is he saying, say there's a policy on abortion or something, then he can't handle it.
	He can't touch it.
	It has to be done by a woman.
	Why?
	Why can't a male have a view on abortion, a woman's body?
	It's not really an ethical thing.
	It's like, when is a human a human?
	So if you think a human a human is at conception, then everything after that is murder.
	If you think that it's never a human until it comes out and says hi, then none of that is murder.
	Those are ethical decisions.
	So why would a woman handle all the fucking abortion talk?
	What if she's a moron?
	I don't want her handling that.
	Why can't we handle, like, do you have to have been in a war to be a historian?
	Do you have to have played basketball to do sports commentary?
	No, often those are the worst at sports commentary.
	You don't have to be directly, intimately involved in the thing to try to help problems or solve issues within the thing.
	So much of the left's dogma is based on theories that are so fucking flimsy, like the see it to be it.
	We got to make Superman black so black kids know they can fly too.
	Bullshit.
	Pussies that would make sure that inherent bias that exists or discrimination that exists in communities would be eliminated and that we would make sure everyone everywhere has opportunity.
	I don't think anyone.
	So when you're that much of a cuck and a pussy, you are easy prey for ugly spies named Fang Fang.
	How Fang Fang, the Chinese spy, slept with two U.S. mayors and targeted politicians, including one of the youngest members of the House, before slipping out of the U.S. when the FBI came and knocking.
	Fang Fang or Christine Fang.
	One time my neighbor had an au pair who was Chinese, and I said, what's your name?
	And she goes, well, my name is Hard.
	My name is Hatosei in English, so people just call me Ping Ping.
	I'm like, okay.
	And then one time they had a piano in their front room, and I was coming home and I went by their house, like walked by their house, and I could see her at the piano just going, dong, dong, dong, dong, ding.
	Not playing a song, like doing it the way a little kid would do.
	And I said to my neighbor, hey, dude, I think ping ping might be a ding-dong.
	Did he laugh?
	He didn't laugh.
	What?
	He's like, why?
	Why do you say that?
	And I had to tell him the piano thing like that was remotely relevant.
	What's that sound?
	I don't know.
	Okay, so I think I do Fang Fang.
	On the headphone, though.
	So Fang Fang, fuck a cockman.
	And then she get caught, but she fuck a lot of guys.
	Long time or regular?
	She fuck a lot of guys in a house.
	And a man who's almost present in the United States, maybe she blow Biden.
	Or maybe for Biden, she just let him sniff her.
	And that's enough to blackmail him.
	She smashed French.
	Hey, China, can you send some hot spies, please?
	What's with the threes?
	I guess her vagina spins when you put it in.
	Like, there is a spy.
	I wouldn't be able to resist.
	If she begged to blow me right now, I would start crying and run.
	What are you doing, Ryan?
	You're showing us all this shit.
	It's like a link to our pictures.
	Oh, these are the pictures all in the thing.
	And Cerno had this scoop.
	3-8.
	Scoop.
	What did he say?
	I was tipped off in 2018 that Swalwell had been compromised by a sex scandal and never could confirm details, but source was always good to go.
	And it just broke.
	The spy planted an intern with Swalwell.
	Oh, so wait, he didn't fuck Fang Fang?
	He fucked a girl that was with Fang Fang?
	Oh, like a Fang Fang.
	Fang Fang Fen?
	Are you friends with Ping Ping?
	More like a Bang Bang.
	Hello.
	Did you Bang Fang?
	Be honest.
	So they got Biden.
	They got their guy.
	They got the big guy.
	But they had backup plans.
	They had Swalwell run.
	Look at Mike Wallace's bratty son.
	By the way, Biden called him Chris, remember?
	No, no, sorry.
	Biden called him Chuck or something else.
	But look at him correct this guy for calling the president the president.
	This is voluntary.
	A vice president.
	I don't think I would be aware of that.
	If President Trump had worn a mask then and urged everyone to wear a mask then, back in April, the way Joe Biden is right now, wouldn't we be in much better shape?
	Well, Chris, I welcome Vice President Biden to the club since the middle of April.
	The president's guidelines for reopening have called the select sir.
	The president has called the gax.
	What channel is this?
	Crazy.
	Every one of his top advisors, we are out there saying, wear your masks.
	We talk about the data.
	You know, Chris, at one meter, if two people wear the masks, it can reduce viral transmission by 72%, protecting both the source and the recipient.
	We've got the data.
	Mass work.
	We encourage people.
	Please wear your mask.
	He's not the president-elect.
	That's not a thing.
	Stop saying that.
	He'll become the president when he becomes the president.
	Until then, he's the alleged next president.
	He's a suspect.
	He's a suspect.
	He's our top suspect.
	40.
	I told you I hated this guy.
	Remember the other show?
	Gabriel Sterling is his name.
	And he's a never-Trumper, which somehow are worse than liberals.
	Tomorrow's an important day here in Georgia.
	Remind you, again, regardless of whoever your candidate is, to stop Trump.
	You need to vote for Marco Rubio.
	He's the closest to Trump in the polls here.
	This must be about stopping Trump.
	And then he has his lawn sign that has nope for Trump, but noper for Hillary.
	I'm telling you, man, I have a sixth sense.
	I see dead people, and that guy's dead to me.
	I can just see when someone is a shitty dude.
	Maybe it's because I have X-ray high school vision, and I can see your high school self.
	And that guy in high school was a dork.
	You want to talk about woke?
	I'm woke.
	Oh, check your email.
	Oh, you just got in that Steven Crowder interviewed that kid, but he dressed up as me for some reason.
	I don't understand why.
	The kid?
	No, Crowder dressed up as me.
	Oh, that is.
	And called the kid.
	Got the glasses wrong.
	Yeah, my glasses are much bigger than that.
	Nope, no guns.
	Nerf guns.
	Nope, not even a nerf gun.
	Okay, here, Dan.
	Oh, oh, there's little Michael.
	Oh, he's doing me doing Santa.
	Do you know who this is making a call just for you?
	Who is that?
	Santa.
	This is Santa.
	That's right.
	And I understand that you're a fan of me, Santa, and you had a little bit of a run-in with one of those helpers at the mall who hadn't been vetted properly yesterday.
	Is that right?
	What do you call him?
	Um, Bad Santa.
	That's right, Bad Santa, who didn't pass the chemical test beforehand, but we've taken care of that.
	Another reason that that fucker, sorry for my horrible language, that that bad Santa is bad news is now the kids start going, wait a minute, so the people in the mall are not Santa?
	Okay, so Santa's in the North Pole.
	So why do I bother going to malls and sitting on laps if they're actors?
	I'm only interested in sitting on Santa's lap, thanks.
	As the real Santa, I understand that you know the rules of engagement here, that you've been a very...
	Have you been a good boy this year?
	Okay.
	Now I know that you're a fan of this year.
	Depends how you define good.
	Okay.
	Now I know that you're a fan of boxing, just like old Santa here.
	You like boxing and you're a big fan of Rocky Balboa.
	Do I have that right?
	Oh, maybe that's another little Michael.
	Maybe I have that wrong.
	You're not the boxer?
	That's me.
	That's you.
	Let me see those.
	Let me see those fists there, young Michael.
	Let me see.
	Put up your dukes.
	Is that a big fist for a kid?
	Oh, look at that.
	I think that's going to be a heavyweight.
	That's peekaboo style.
	That's Mike Tyson's invention.
	Now, look at that training.
	He's going to swing on Santa.
	He's got eight minutes long, but he pulls out a gun.
	That might be before your time.
	He's what your parents are.
	Up north, sometimes we get bears or we get something, you know, that could hurt Santa's reindeer.
	So, Santa, old Saint Nick packs a heater.
	Would you like to undo more of this?
	Tell me about the time that my peace saved my reindeer.
	I'm going to text Crowder and pretend to be pissed off.
	Why are you fucking dressing up as me?
	Oh, wait, go back.
	He eventually gets it out.
	Or maybe he doesn't.
	That's a microphone in front of him.
	Oh, he talks about how a bear almost attacked a Donner and Blitzen and he had to chase the bear away with saved the deer's life.
	Yeah, it seems like he didn't brandish it.
	Entirely, but He did.
	That was probably a smart move.
	Yeah.
	Waving a gun.
	Exactly.
	I wonder if that's illegal to brandish a weapon over like FaceTime.
	Wait, did we show the footage of this?
	I meant to show that at the beginning of the show.
	No.
	What a strange show this has been.
	I kind of like it, though.
	It's been very free-flowing, very freestyle.
	Like a freestyle.
	Yeah, it's like what Fang Fang would do.
	It feels like...
	We don't give a damn.
	Hey, I hear you fucked a Chinese four.
	What?
	I don't know.
	What?
	She was a spy.
	And she blackmailed you?
	Oh, that Chinese four.
	You mean Fang Fang?
	Yeah.
	China is asshole.
	They drug me?
	How'd you get it up?
	They drugged me with Cialis?
	Yeah, it was a cocktail.
	Go to 4-1.
	Okay, the full one.
	Okay, now we're going to be talking Chinese the whole time.
	Is this COVID?
	Yeah.
	It's only one wires that will be brushed to right.
	Your language sucks.
	Your language is stupid.
	Fucking Chinese.
	Chinese vibrants comes from China.
	Turn on his asshole!
	Just keep your hands off my dog.
	It's funny how a lefty would see that whole thing as incredibly racist, but Chinese people do eat dogs.
	Yeah.
	How about those losers who rescue dogs from China?
	We talked about this already, right?
	They saved like eight dogs from the Chinese food fair.
	Thousands of dogs get eaten in China every day.
	I hate pet rescue.
	It's such a dumb, emotional, non-mathematical thing.
	You didn't do anything to the dog population.
	You just encouraged more people to get rid of their fucking pets.
	So what are you doing?
	It doesn't mean anything.
	Do you go to the beach and clean one grain of sand?
	You're mathematically irrelevant.
	You're not helping anyone.
	It's a rescue.
	I saved the day.
	Okay, so the million-dollar question here is, do you see them wearing uniforms or not?
	Because if they don't have uniforms, this guy's a great case.
	So that's Danny.
	That looks like a hat.
	I think I see a badge on the sleeve.
	Ooh, that looked kind of badgy.
	So now his argument has to be, I couldn't see that they were cops.
	But it's kind of hard to not see that if that policeman's hat's very distinct.
	I believe that's why it's so distinct.
	I don't know if I see a hat.
	Wait, that looks kind of like a baseball hat on the other one.
	Yeah, I don't know if I see a hat.
	Can't really tell.
	Can't really tell on the cover of the post either.
	He definitely has a hat on.
	Oh, we can't see what it was.
	All right.
	Wow.
	A lot of chatting has gone on.
	We're boop boop boop boop boop.
	We got some timeless things we can do another time.
	And I think it's time we jump over to the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Okay, in the interest of not ignoring the subscribers who send me interesting stuff, I am paying more attention to the mailbag and not poo-pooing your letters.
	This one is actually in the notes.
	Gab, you should listen to the Joe Rogan podcast with Maddie Iglesias.
	Throughout the entire conversation, this guy Iglesias does the most annoying voice inflection where it gets ear-piercingly high, like Jiminy Glick.
	Mike.
	Now, if you remember, Maddie Iglesias was the guy at Vox who had to leave because he wasn't radical enough.
	And he's a fucking liberal lunatic.
	He has a book called, I think it's called A Billion.
	And it's about how we need to open our borders more until we triple our population to one billion.
	I guess he thinks they'll all go to Nevada and the desert and the mountains, and they won't just crunch in to New York and LA and Chicago.
	That's where immigrants go.
	They don't go to some abandoned farm.
	But yeah, he had to quit Vox because he doesn't like the term Latinx enough.
	He doesn't think we should totally defund the police and eradicate the police force.
	These have become...
	See, this is why I'm so glad we chose this book today.
	Because what's radical now is what's unacceptably mainstream too, is not wanting to end the police.
	Well, that means you're a fucking right-wing Nazi then.
	Fuck you, pig.
	And what was the other one he had?
	Oh, yeah.
	He didn't sufficiently worship AOC enough.
	But it's weird that it says Vox on his shirt.
	Oh, yeah.
	Is he back at Vox?
	Because this is new, isn't it?
	December 3rd.
	That's December 3rd.
	And what was that article at the Atlantic?
	November 13th.
	Maybe they recorded it before.
	Oh, okay, yeah.
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	Is that like a slam show where it's like Vox?
	Soft.
	But wait a minute.
	That would be then they would have had to record it in like November 1st.
	And it's his new studio.
	Has he had this new studio for that long?
	Yeah, I think since November 1st.
	He's got his space pod.
	Right.
	Like nothing.
	They're not, though, in some cases.
	You can blind yourself.
	No, no, no.
	That's not what I mean.
	I mean, one of the reasons why people have this perception that it's a good idea to not go on someone's platform and not talk to people.
	Good save.
	Bob Kelly is on Rogan, finally.
	Is because some people have been deplatformed.
	People like Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin McGinnis and Alex Jones.
	I just dropped the needle on this, Ben.
	Deplatformed by you.
	Wait, what a coinky dink.
	What?
	That is a crazy Koinky dink.
	Wait, what?
	But this is a three-hour episode.
	That is nuts.
	That's beyond weird.
	Can we hit the button?
	Let's see what the Ouija button has to say.
	Oh, no.
	Huge, huge mistake.
	Oh, I guess.
	Okay, okay.
	D-platform.
	People like Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin McGinnis and Alex Jones.
	There's people that have been removed from these significant portals, whether it's YouTube or Twitter.
	What about the Joe Rogan show?
	Have they been removed from that?
	That's crazy.
	Are we going to post it on censored?
	Because I have the Eps.
	No, we're not.
	Okay.
	Go back.
	People, they understand that that's effective, and now they want to expand that.
	And once they learn how to do that, then they want to do it to other...
	I mean, I've seen people argue for people being deplatformed for just having dumb ideas.
	Joe, you deplatformed me.
	I've literally seen that.
	You removed me and Milo's episodes.
	That's not how to handle things.
	You're supposed to have debates.
	You're supposed to have discussions.
	And I think because we've accepted this idea of censorship and deplatforming as a viable alternative to listening to things that upset you, just get rid of them.
	Shut them off.
	And also, that reinforces the echo chamber.
	It's people with limited understanding of history in terms of what happens when you do that to people.
	And also a very limited understanding of...
	You've got to hear the Joe Rogan experience 1573 at about, how far in are we?
	It's 38, about 30.
	27 minutes.
	There's this bald dude who's like an MMA guy named you that you really got to listen to.
	He's going to blow your mind.
	You're going to blow your mind.
	Wait, keep going, though.
	To get people to listen to your point of view is to express it eloquently and accurately and in a way that resonates.
	Wow.
	You say something.
	How could you be so oblivious?
	Et too, Roger?
	No, Joe is better.
	Et too, Joe.
	Uh-huh.
	Joey.
	Joey.
	Oh, we have Joker face, don't we?
	We have a Joker face?
	We have a couple.
	I was watching them come in.
	We've got Bush.
	All right.
	Coffee table.
	Even in Fox, this is a coffee table I made by cutting ancient driftwood.
	This is my idea.
	You son of a bitch.
	Why does everyone keep ripping me off?
	I say this because I'm a white-collar buddy.
	All my tennis friends are Indian.
	Your bloody fucking podcast is amazing.
	Indian droker face is going to make you a fucking billion, you fuck fucking buddy.
	Don't you understand the Indian government?
	Because all Indians that aren't dirty monsters understand a VPN.
	Don't worry about the Indian government.
	You fuck bloody and your sunglasses are retarded.
	This is kind of my idea.
	My idea was, you know when you see a tree that's been knocked over, right?
	And you see the root mass?
	Yes.
	So you take one, you chop it like say a foot and a half, two feet into the trunk, right?
	Then with some crazy power washers, you just clean it 1 million percent.
	You get off every little piece.
	And that's not going to be an easy job.
	That mud is packed on there.
	So you clean it, so now it's just 100% piece of wood.
	And now you somehow, with like a giant buzzsaw, slice all of those roots.
	So now, when you plunk it down upside down, right, the base is the trunk, and you could add a little bit if that's not wide enough.
	And then you put down a big circle of glass.
	You also cut it in a circle shape.
	So now you're looking down at these cut roots.
	Wouldn't that like cool?
	That'd be cool.
	That'd be cool.
	Hello, you've got a base.
	Your table has a base.
	So he didn't really steal my idea.
	Hey, Gavin and Rye guy.
	I feel like this is right up your street.
	Old school London geezers.
	Oh, I heard there's a new show called London Gangs, Gangs of London.
	London geezers turn their hand to grime and smash it out in the park with hilarious humor and great rhymes.
	All the best from this side of the pond.
	Harry Fletcher.
	Okay, so we're being sent music here.
	Okay, I'm just clicking it now.
	Here we go.
	Nah.
	I hate the I'm not your average rapper.
	I'm a white guy.
	How many times has that been done?
	Stephen Colbert or something.
	I get up early and I go to work and I'm a fucking rapper.
	We've got some jokers.
	Okay, I'll sprinkle them throughout.
	They've gone out there against the mainstream media and said, you're going to call us racist.
	You're going to call us potential Timothy McVays.
	Fuck you.
	That's terrible.
	Just smiling.
	Oh, God, I was raping this girl the other day.
	And I held a gun to her, I mean, a knife to her face.
	And because she was crying and screaming.
	And I said, smile, bitch.
	Fucking smile.
	And she kind of stopped crying.
	And she goes, I'm smiling.
	See?
	I'm smiling.
	Dude, it was the fakest smile you've ever seen in your life.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
	Gangs of London.
	Action.
	I think that's the show I was hearing about at the gym today.
	Tells a story of London being torn apart by the turbulent power struggles of international gangs, and a sudden power vacuum is created when the head of London's most powerful crime family is assassinated.
	Ryan, how can you be so fucking slow?
	Which one?
	No, it's not a letter.
	It's popped into my head.
	Oh, okay, gotcha.
	I'm around looking around, like, what the hell?
	Gangs of London?
	Yeah, smash the subscribe.
	So how do we see it?
	Like a hot fire?
	We're born into a certain world.
	It's chosen for us.
	Some might think it's brutal.
	I say it's glorious.
	Excuse me.
	Someone chose to kill Finn Wallace.
	Today we mourn the loss of a great man.
	But tomorrow it will be business.
	I might be good.
	I thought it was going to be real.
	Like the real soccer hooligans and stuff.
	Everything stops.
	We'll check it out.
	Until I find a checker.
	Um, Oi.
	This is from Angelique.
	Oi, Gav.
	My name is Angel, and I'm emailing in because I heard about a man who grew up without a dad, much like Ryan.
	And he made a YouTube channel for other boys who also grew up without dads, so they don't end up like Ryan.
	He has videos like this one that teaches you how to fix most running toilets and others, such as how to change a tire, how to jump side a car, how to tie a tie.
	The one I linked is the shortest one I saw.
	P.S. Ryan, you're legit the best, even though my boyfriend calls you a loser.
	Oh, well, fuck all.
	You might have wondered about me.
	So, anyway, so I'm going to show you how to fix a running toilet.
	That just means that the water just is trying to fill back up and it doesn't have a good seal.
	And so you'll need what's called a flapper.
	And all that is, is the flapper flips up when you flush the toilet and then it flips back down and tries to seal the toilet so that the tank can fill back up.
	And if the seal isn't good, then...
	What if I want my fake dad to have his bathroom designed by his wife clearly?
	Of course your wife designs your bathroom, you fucking faggot.
	You think you do?
	Hey, I'm not a pussy.
	My bathroom has a motorhead mirror on the wall.
	It's not an androgynous, it's a female bathroom.
	Yeah.
	Bathrooms are female.
	Keep trying to fill.
	Okay, that's enough.
	Well, you show the people his name.
	I guess, you childless hordes.
	Dad, how do I?
	Dad, how do I?
	Okay.
	Asheville, someone sent us this.
	A plus, plus, plus video drop.
	Hilarious.
	Six second.
	I had that guy on my show once.
	Really?
	Oh, wow.
	Tell these faggots.
	Either they get out of town or a flame of fire is going to come out that butthole.
	That's a good idea.
	You should write that down.
	I'm going to download it immediately.
	Yeah, he said, I had him on my old show, the Gavin McKinnon show.
	He said, Obama created AIDS to kill off the black man.
	I don't know how, I guess he had to also make black men gay.
	I think maybe he made black men gay.
	Or no, I think he had like gay robots that were seducing straight black men and then giving them AIDS.
	It was a really complicated theory.
	What's his name again?
	Dan the Oracle?
	No.
	Dan the Oracle?
	You think a black guy, that guy's named Dan?
	Probably not.
	He's like the Reverend blah, blah, blah.
	Where the new banners go?
	I love that feature.
	Please bring back.
	We got him.
	Relax.
	Hi, dog, G-Dog, and Homo.
	I look more like a naked mole rat in this video, but anyway, this is my Indian Joker versus War.
	Oh, did we already show you?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	Hey, Gavin, what happened to Tom Christensen?
	Why is he no longer included in the end card?
	End card.
	Things I wish I had for 200?
	I can't tell you why he's no longer in the end card, I'm afraid.
	He's gotten too much stuff.
	He's a great guy.
	Let's just say they've moved him.
	And we still love him very much, and we talk to him.
	But that's all we can do.
	And it's nothing bad.
	It's nothing bad.
	Thumbs up.
	Awesome.
	But nothing great either.
	Sorry, I forgot to mention, did you hear or see what happened at the Millwall football match over the weekend?
	The players all, yes, I did see this.
	They took the need to support.
	I was just thinking about this today.
	Probably because of the Gangs of London thing that was brought up at the gym, and then we started talking about soccer hooligans.
	That was it.
	The players all took the knee to show support for BLM.
	The fans, returning to the stands for the first time after months away, started booing them.
	Millwall has always had a thug reputation.
	Of course, the media there have not shut up about it since and are smearing Millwall fans as racist shitbags.
	Yeah, if you don't, if you're not on board 100%, you're a racist shitbag.
	I saw this thing where they, it was in Austria or somewhere, where they built a big giant Black Lives Matter statue.
	And these kids with red hats, they showed up and they put these boards around the statue and had the faces of white women who had been murdered, raped to death by Muslim immigrants.
	And so they covered the Black Lives Matter with that.
	And the headline was, white supremacists deface or destroy BLM statue.
	And you're like, so wait a minute.
	You're now a white supremacist if you basically do the Breonna Taylor say her name, but for a white victim?
	That's white supremacy to acknowledge that white women are being murdered by these Muslim rape gangs.
	It was in Austria.
	BLM statue.
	Go to Austria first.
	That's the first actor, you fucking dirt.
	Anyway.
	Now we have to find it.
	Watch how fast I do it.
	Europe BLM statue covered victims rape.
	I jump to images.
	And...
	Are we sure about Austria?
	Okay, Austria.
	Activists cover up BLM statue memorial with victims for terror attacks.
	Oh, it's terror attacks.
	They weren't raped today.
	That's a rape.
	Throw it off.
	Okay, let's see it.
	Better boy, um...
	What's his name?
	Britney Pettiborn's husband?
	Martin.
	Yeah, Martin Selmer?
	Martin Selmner, if I do it all.
	So that's, is that really white supremacy?
	That's not like go back to Africa or anything.
	That's showing the victims of terror attacks.
	White Lives Matter.
	It's now white supremacists to say white lives matter.
	It's not black supremacists to say black lives matter because we're living in fucking clown world.
	You want to throw a joker in here?
	Oh, wait.
	It's not an original one, though.
	I think I was okay.
	My favorite thing about the main guy is he thinks that he's blowing minds.
	Milwaule has had a thug reputation.
	The common people are not taking this shit anymore, and there'll be a lot more of this to come.
	Sorry for the two messages, big uppercels.
	No, that's the same message.
	Yeah, I went to see a Luton game with Tommy Robinson in Luton.
	And there was, Luton is over a 50% Muslim.
	There was not one Muslim in the stands.
	Not one.
	And at the end of the game, the goalie came out and he handed Tommy Robinson's son his goalie gloves.
	So that's what's really going on with football fans.
	The players with their stumbles matter patches.
	Black Lives Matter?
	Black Lives Matter is about slavery in America and police violence.
	British cops don't even have fucking guns.
	What are you talking about?
	How many black people are killed by cops in Britain?
	None o'clock.
	There's a bunch of these jokers.
	We want you guys to send your joker faces.
	Let's see.
	Three, two, one.
	Why the hell is sending us this shit?
	We want to see your joker faces.
	Don't show things to me that you haven't seen yet.
	Okay, let's go to the end of the show.
	Didn't mean this to be such a long show.
	Final episode.
	Or a final.
	Now the lady we had on yesterday, this one screaming from her car, has just been canceled.
	Let me just play the tiniest violin.
	Fuck you.
	What are you doing, Ryan?
	God damn it.
	This is how many windows I have open.
	A teacher placed on leave.
	Can you not do that?
	Teacher placed on leave after unhinged rant.
	I can't read it now because anti-locked.
	Teacher placed on leave after unhinged rant towards peaceful anti-lockdown protesters.
	So click on it.
	Now, you know how I feel with free speech and yelling and screaming.
	I love both of those things.
	And I think cancel culture is retarded.
	She's allowed to have her opinion and you're allowed to scream your opinions.
	And you know, my belief is I've noticed over the years, the person yelling is always right.
	That's been my experience.
	The person yelling is always right.
	Now, she's wrong in this case.
	But her point is that, and from her perspective, everyone is dying and this teacher's dying and everyone's, this is all dangerous.
	And okay, that's the perspective.
	So I want her to have that.
	But you started this cancel culture bullshit.
	You started deplatforming everyone.
	So yeah, I want you to suffer.
	What?
	What the f ⁇ ?
	Okay, this is getting creepy.
	Dude, I don't understand.
	Talk about Spooky.
	This whole episode has been like haunted or something.
	That's enough.
	We already watched this yesterday.
	But what exactly happened to her?
	She's on leave?
	What does that mean?
	We have substitute teachers.
	In school, did you torture substitute teachers?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	There was this one Indian one that she sent me that, yeah, it was like I yelled.
	I don't know.
	I was on a power trip.
	That was like a really.
	We tried to get them to cry.
	It was unnecessary.
	That was our goal.
	I got Miss Detroit to cry, my actual teacher.
	Nice.
	And Miss Aaron, too.
	Later on, my mom ran into her and she was like, yeah, he was the only student that made me cry.
	And I remember what I did.
	I was in a special class at DiAubre Moody Junior High, and I was such a fucking dick to Mr. Hamlin that he quit the profession and stopped being a teacher.
	Wow.
	And at the end, I've told this story before, but at the end of the year, he had a big bowl, a salad bowl of Mars bars, and it was like we're having a party, pizza party, and everything's cool and everything's fun.
	And we had been at each other quite a bit because I was always fucking with him.
	Like we had a thing we're going to do, the future.
	So you have to, the challenge was every classroom has to decorate itself up like the future.
	And so everyone was spacey and there was like digital doodle radio shack parts I wear.
	And I was like, what about a dystopian future, Mr. Hamlin, where the place is destroyed and there's graffiti on the walls and stuff.
	He goes, well, we can't graffiti, he was French Canadian, we can't graffiti on the walls.
	No, we'll put a paper moron and then we'll strape it on the paper and stuff.
	And here's another thing.
	Maybe in the future, the teachers will be students and the teacher will just be like tied up in the corner of the room.
	Like we can tie you up and put tape over your face.
	I bullied him and I was 13.
	So anyway, at the end of the year, he goes, hey, Gavin, I'd like to talk to you outside for a second, and I go, Why?
	And so we go outside, and he goes, Look, we've had our ups and downs, and we I think at the end of the day, I recognize that you bubble with energy, and so I want you to know that I think we can still be friends.
	And he holds out a Mars bar, but there's and I just looked at him and I sort of went, I look down at the Mars bar and I go, there's a whole bowl of them inside.
	Oh, that's heartbreaking.
	He's stuck there with the Mars bar.
	Like, what the fuck?
	What a prick.
	That's sad.
	Fuck you, Mr. Hamlin, you stupid pepper.
	I don't regret it one bit.
	I was a bad boy.
	So what was I talking about?
	So she's on leave.
	We didn't really look into the details.
	Let's see this.
	Okay, look.
	I've been to jail once for four hours.
	I don't know what I would be like in prison.
	I'd like to think that I wouldn't take any shit.
	Oh, I emailed an ex-con about this video.
	I wonder if he got back to me.
	Lazy.
	Lazie.
	Lazie, lazy, lazy.
	Uh-oh.
	Getting distracted here.
	In the meantime, we do have an original Joker.
	Whoa, that guy's good.
	That's really good.
	Is he infested?
	Yes.
	Yeah, that's what we want, guys.
	I'm a little upset.
	Yeah, that's the Indian shit.
	Come on.
	Pretty easy.
	We can look up Indian shit.
	He didn't get back to me.
	Oh, here's another one.
	I'm texting him at noon.
	What is he?
	Some kind of jerk?
	Not a joke.
	He's like a total joke.
	Huh.
	Fucking dick.
	Anyway, this is what I said to him.
	Now, I'm not one to judge, and I've never been to prison, but I'd like to think I wouldn't take this from anyone under any circumstances.
	So check out this video.
	Talk to him.
	Hey, how you doing?
	Say, talk to him.
	Hey, how you doing?
	Talk to him.
	Okay, okay.
	Listen to me.
	Hey, how you doing?
	Say this.
	Say Black Lives Matter.
	Say it.
	Black Lives Matter.
	White Lives Shatter.
	White Lives Shadow.
	Now get the fuck out.
	I want to know the story behind that.
	But don't you think you wouldn't take that shit?
	No.
	It's easy to talk big.
	All right, guys, cool.
	I know.
	I would fuck him up.
	I'd rather die.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, whatever bad's going to happen anyway.
	That's the worst case scenario.
	You don't know until you're there with your feet on the ground.
	You could be locked up.
	You don't have to die inside.
	Right.
	Yeah, fuck that.
	Maybe that happens once a year and then everyone leaves you alone for the rest of the year.
	Maybe you were going to get stabbed.
	Maybe there was a knife there.
	Maybe they know your wife and your kids.
	I don't know.
	That's all right.
	Maybe that's it.
	But I really feel like I would just come out there guns ablazing and not take any shit.
	I mean, when people, like, I told you that story when I was driving to work one day, some guy goes, ugh, because I didn't stop the car and let him cross.
	But he was about 15 feet from the crosswalk.
	And I just instinctually jumped out of the car and said, ran up to him and said, what?
	What's the issue here?
	Like, I think Scots, they don't even let you start with that.
	But I was going to pick up.
	What?
	I was going to do a sound drop.
	What happened?
	I can't find it.
	We'll get a better system then.
	I don't like the buttshake.
	That wasn't it.
	You're useless.
	All right, let's end on a fun note.
	This guy did his Christmas decorations up real mass.
	Real mass.
	Emma Faso.
	Oh, my God.
	You better kill it.
	You better kill it.
	Show me something.
	Nailed it.
	Emma Faso.
	I love it when a plan comes together.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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