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Nov. 30, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:37:55

S03E45 - RONAGADES [2020-11-30 - S03E45 - RONAGADES]

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	Live from New York, it's get off on with Devin McGuinness.
	It's kind of a trip, right?
	Daughter, New Ways, British Chick.
	That's her band, though, daughter.
	Been around for a long time, signed to 4AD, been around since 2011.
	This is today's New York Post.
	But today we're a little more focused on yesterday's news.
	That would be a good name for a show.
	Yesterday's news.
	We only cover yesterday's news.
	I guess John Oliver's news.
	John Oliver with the weekend review.
	Today's book I've had for a long time, Lady Gaga by Terry Richardson, my old buddy.
	And it's just he followed her around on tour.
	They probably fucked a bunch of times.
	Look, there she is, licking him.
	And the reason I brought it today is because I'm fascinated by this book, as I'm fascinated by my feelings regarding Lady Gaga.
	She's a beautiful woman.
	Italians are my type.
	Always wear high-heeled shoes, which is important to me.
	Obviously incredibly talented, and that's attractive too.
	Smart, fun, ambitious.
	Yes, her politics are fucking gay, but she's a chick.
	What do you expect?
	She's not going to have, she's not going to be Pat Buchanan.
	So if she's flaking into astrology, that's like every chick I know, basically, and some dudes.
	I was talking to Bobby Pickles on the weekend, and I said, you know, we're 95% nature, 5% nurture.
	And this is evident with identical twins separated at birth.
	I mean, you have one Korean girl grew up in Paris, one grew up in Milwaukee, and they both have the same taste in music, same dog, same car, same everything.
	Even though they speak a different language, and one grew up poor, one grew up rich.
	And he goes, I know you don't like astrology, but could that be because they were born on the same day?
	They're the exactly the same sign?
	That's bigger than when you find out a guy that was your buddy is gay.
	When you find out your buddy likes astrology?
	Fucking astrology?
	Like John Roberts, the guy who's the mom on Bob's Burgers, he's a pretty masculine dude.
	His dad's a fireman, I think.
	And when I first met him, I didn't know he was gay for about a week.
	And then I go, oh my God, look at those ass cheeks on her, just like two bowling balls that are best friends sitting in a pair of jeans.
	And he's like, I'm the gayest faggot in the history of the world.
	I went, oh, shit.
	They realize that.
	That's what I do with Trump.
	When people bring up Trump, and they're like, he's so dumb, and he's lame, and he's our first, what's that insult you do that's just insulting your, it's like a lame argument because you're just insulting the person.
	Ipso facto, delirium tremens.
	Like, this is just, it's a way of saying, you're just insulting me.
	That's not a point.
	Anyway, he's the first president like that.
	And I go, you're talking to the biggest Trump supporter in the world who probably got him elected.
	Anyway, sorry, long way of saying, I look at this book and I just feel nothing.
	It's her and Katy Perry.
	I don't know why.
	And it's strange to be a heterosexual horny dude.
	But I see her and I have no hard feelings towards her whatsoever.
	Nothing.
	My dick is dead.
	It's a weird feeling when you see a beautiful woman and you feel nothing.
	It's kind of cool because you get to feel what it feels like to be a fag.
	Also, Ryan, look at this.
	We got white, big thing of white, and the camera automatically adjusts.
	You're right.
	Stop adjusting, robots.
	We set you to manual.
	That's a really irritating feature.
	You see.
	And then they go, oh, it's because she's successful and you're intimidated by power.
	Yeah.
	Eva Mendez is successful and I would happily destroy her from behind for about two days.
	If I was not married.
	That's such a stupid myth, too.
	It's usually a fat woman who has short hair and is a five and she's like, you know, I'm kind of single because men are intimidated by powerful women.
	Look, let's get something straight about men.
	All they care about is hot.
	At least for the first month.
	If she's crazy and really stupid, you get bored and they break up.
	Crazy, sometimes they keep going.
	They just have to break up because there was a fight and she fucking started smashing plates against the wall.
	But yeah, powerful or smart?
	No.
	No.
	I've told you a million times, our only deal breakers are pizza tits and thinning hair to the point of being bald.
	Like any hair less than me.
	And if you'll notice in the back, I was at the gym today and I laid my head back and the mat felt extra cold.
	That's because there's nothing there to insulate it.
	So, wait, go ahead.
	I think she's like Uncanny Valley looking.
	And what that is, is like you look, your features are in such a way where you look bizarre.
	Here's some examples here.
	Or like robots usually have that.
	Well, yeah, Ryan.
	But she's got that.
	Lady Gaga does not look like a robot.
	Maybe she looks kind of masculine.
	I mean, that picture right there Is inarguably a beautiful woman, right?
	Why don't I feel anything down here?
	And there's plenty of fats and fives when I'm just like puzzling.
	That's pretty good.
	She was pretty good in a star is born where she had no makeup on.
	They just had a picture of that below.
	That was the first time I was like, Yeah, there she is.
	This is the stars born.
	This we could work with.
	Yeah, but there's something.
	What is it?
	It's almost like she borrowed a nose.
	Like she's like a choose your own create your character in a video game, but like the nose is like way off.
	This is before you start editing it.
	It's bizarre.
	So gays, I know how you feel.
	I haven't felt it too.
	We've got a jam-packed show for you today.
	As we know, Mondays are when we catch up.
	Now, I haven't seen you since before Thanksgiving, because Wednesday we recorded the Thanksgiving show.
	So Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
	I haven't seen you guys in four days.
	Since we left you last, we've had a Thanksgiving.
	Ours was very good, but we couldn't have any people over.
	And it's weird with a small family, only have three kids.
	So my wife cooks all day for three people.
	The seven-year-old has like one bite and he's done.
	And then I'm just a normal human being.
	I could only eat so much.
	I saw Kim Kardashian's Thanksgiving, and it was just like, we've reached a level of success with the rich here where I don't envy it.
	Like I said this earlier, a 27-room mansion?
	What the fuck?
	What?
	So you're just paying HVAC to heat and cool certain rooms that you haven't been in in months.
	And say you did fill those rooms, your dining room table would be a quarter mile long.
	So you can't have a conversation with someone way over there.
	You're just living at a hotel that's either abandoned or packed.
	I don't want that life.
	Like that's way too many people.
	I think the max, like a family gathering is good because you can yell and stuff and you know everyone very well.
	So a family gathering five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, maybe 11 or 12, you could do with family.
	And maybe that was 12.
	So maybe that's okay.
	But like a dinner out at a restaurant, more than three or four, it starts sucking.
	And even with four, the men will be having a conversation.
	The woman will be having a cross conversation at the same time, an X pattern.
	That's just four.
	Fucking six, seven.
	Oh, and then you get the bill.
	And you got it.
	Now we can just give them like five credit cards.
	That's a relatively new thing.
	But before that, you get the bill.
	And then you, what's, especially when we were younger, they wouldn't have the money.
	And then you'd get, you'd be like $200 short.
	And you're like, someone didn't pay.
	You know, I met a woman who didn't pay once.
	Amy Gartrell.
	She was an artist.
	I'll happily rat her out.
	This is probably 2000, 20 years ago.
	And we went to this girl's birthday dinner at a Mexican joint.
	And I just walk in and I see there's 22 people there.
	And I just go, fuck in shit.
	This sucks.
	Because I know what's going to happen.
	It always happens at New York karaoke, especially back then when everyone was broke.
	So the bill comes in.
	It's like 500 bucks or something mental.
	Me and Matt Sweeney are collecting the money.
	We end up with like 350.
	And I go, we're 150 bucks short.
	That's not including the tip.
	So we're like $200 short.
	And I'm asking around.
	And then I talk to Amy Gartrella.
	And I go, how much did you put it in?
	She goes, eight bucks.
	I go, what?
	I go, you had a margarita and a burrito dinner.
	The margarita is like 12 bucks.
	And the burrito thing was about the same.
	You're 24.
	You paid a third of your fucking bill.
	And she goes, that's all I have.
	And I go, why'd you order so much?
	And she goes, well, that's pretty reasonable.
	One margarita, one burrito at a Mexican place.
	And I just thought, it stuck in my craw forever because I go, that's communism.
	It's not what I can afford or what, it's more what I should get.
	What's reasonable?
	That's not too greedy.
	One burrito, one margarita?
	Yes, it is literally too greedy.
	You fucking bitch.
	Anyway, Kim Kardashian was showing all her stuff and I thought, like even one of the dips that you just showed, you have some of that, now you're stuffed.
	It's like a brunch.
	Unless you're a huge fat pig or a lumberjack who just was lifting fucking trees all day.
	But like a meat plate and then the crackers with the dip and then you have the turkey and then there's all these desserts.
	They had a s'mores table just for s'mores.
	Show that?
	Don't forget the honey bar.
	A what?
	It's a honey bar.
	What the fuck's a honey bar?
	I don't know.
	So you take a fork.
	Okay, say you take a fork, you dip it in the honey bar, right?
	I guess like you let honey drip on your spoon and then you put a piece of cheese and a fucking prune on that.
	I'm not stuffed, but like you just killed my appetite.
	I'm not starving anymore.
	What else do we got here?
	God, I hate this family.
	They're so boring.
	Let's see their food though.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I mean, I guess I can have some of that.
	Food, food, and more food.
	This is like Mugabe's dinners.
	Just look at that.
	I don't know.
	The Kardashians were taking huge shits that night.
	This is called monkey bread.
	Okay, now you see, like, now I'm just at a restaurant, at a buffet.
	A s'mores bar.
	Still hungry?
	Want some s'mores?
	I gotta say, when I moved to America, I was shocked at s'mores.
	In Canada, we roast marshmallows.
	We go, that's a lot of sugar.
	In America, they go, no, make it a sandwich.
	Put chocolate on it, put it in between crackers.
	Anyway, sorry.
	Off of the tangent.
	We'll get to this.
	I was reading the paper at the pub yesterday, and I just thought, let's fucking go down there.
	And Ryan went, don't I get days off?
	I go, no.
	No days off.
	We're the news.
	Does the news get a day off?
	Lauren Savon, when she worked at Fox News, she had to sleep under her desk all night.
	If there's breaking news, we got to go get it.
	We were the only ones there, too, except for this cuck.
	What was his name?
	Fucking pussy.
	I could sleep under Laura Savon's desk.
	Kevin Sheehan.
	Lauren Sivon is perfect.
	She's one, like, she's a 6.9, but the sex appeal is just through the fucking Roof.
	Like, her sock is hot.
	If she left her sock on my floor, I would just go, I would have to jerk off.
	Is that her?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Who did you think I meant?
	I never put a name in the face.
	I just kind of said that.
	Like, she's kind of got a girl next door vibe, but I can't.
	That's the absolute opposite of Lady Gaga.
	Like, I want to bite her.
	That's a vibe.
	I know what you mean.
	No, that's her worst picture.
	No, I don't feel this way about her, but I want to bite.
	Yeah, that's a thing.
	Oh, okay.
	Sometimes you want to bite her.
	All right, let's start the news, shall we?
	We don't have infinite time here.
	Believe me, and I am always right.
	The fight on Saturday night with Mike Tyson and Roy Jones sucked.
	Balls.
	What a shit show.
	What a depressing hug fest.
	And the ref wasn't even hard on them.
	Here is my theory.
	My theory is, first of all, they said you can't really fight.
	It has to be rough sparring.
	And I think we all assumed, oh, okay, he's going to pretend to just rough spar.
	He did.
	I think he gave Roy Jones two good body shots.
	There was maybe four good punches the whole fight, but he gave Roy Jones two like, I could kill you if I wanted to, little punches.
	I get those sometimes when you spar.
	I'll get a little ballsy with someone who's way better than me.
	And he'll sort of give me a bsh just to be like, I'm taking it easy with you, but I don't have to.
	I think he got two of those.
	And then Roy Jones, when you get really nailed in the ribs, it sort of feels like, you know, when you see a big pile of gas on the ground and they put a match in it and you see the fire spreading, not the, but more the po.
	You sort of feel like going, almost like blood if you get shot.
	And I think he got two of those.
	Because even at the end with the interviews, Mike Tyson was like, I don't think, I think he won.
	He did a great job.
	And Roy Jones was just going, he's pissing blood.
	I 100% guarantee you that his toilet is red.
	But then that's not a good fight for us.
	We want to see a knockout.
	So let's get started with Trump calling someone a lightweight.
	I'll show you why in a second.
	But this was fun.
	We have to get this in there.
	Between you people, don't talk to me that way.
	You're just a lightweight.
	Don't talk to me that way.
	Don't talk to me.
	I'm the president of the United States.
	Don't ever talk to the president that way.
	All right, I'm going to go with another.
	Between you people.
	But when I saw that, I thought, what the fuck's the matter with the lightweight?
	Manny Pacquiao was a lightweight, wasn't he?
	Roberto Durand?
	We've had lots of good lightweights.
	And the lightweights at this undercard were awesome.
	That was one great thing about it.
	The undercard fighters were fucking trying to murder each other, which is fun to watch.
	Jermaine Ortiz and Irvin Gonzalez didn't hold back.
	He knocked him out, but he sort of landed with his ass on the ropes, the black guy.
	That's Gonzalez, I believe.
	It was so weird, too.
	They're in this tiny ring that was like 15 by 15, and no one was there.
	It was like seeing fights in space.
	Like, say you're on the Starship Enterprise and they had a boxing ring.
	And like some of the tech guys and some of the engineers were there.
	So that's him on the ropes.
	That's how he won.
	That was fun to watch.
	But they had rappers.
	What?
	Now, I think, what's that rumbling sound?
	Oh.
	I think Tyson has his weed company.
	He claims he spends $40,000 a year on pot.
	If you own the company, dude, you could probably get a discount.
	But he's clearly getting high on his own supply.
	And so there was all this pro-weed shit.
	Snoop Dogg was smoking weed, weededy weed, weed search or some weed-named company kept popping up on the screen.
	Rappers came out.
	And here's what people don't get about boxing.
	To people like me, it's LARPing as a blue-collar dude who's tough.
	But for black kids in the hood, it's often the way out.
	And it's sort of like football in high school.
	It's either pursue sports or rob banks and join a gang.
	Larry Barnes said he had been at a bank robbery before he got into boxing.
	He wasn't involved in it, but he knew the guys and he was kind of scoping it out, watching them do the job and get away.
	And then he found boxing and he put all his energy into that and never committed a crime.
	So a big thing in the boxing community is like, don't wear your pants low, show up on time.
	Lots of discipline.
	Like, no, you're not wearing a mask.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	That kind of stuff.
	And it's to sort of give kids discipline they wouldn't normally have.
	So to have rappers coming on talking about fucking chicks, murdering people.
	There was rap songs bragging about murder.
	It's just not the place for that.
	And it's frowned upon in the boxing.
	Like in boxing, the old school black dudes don't like it when you swear.
	You know what I mean?
	It's not my culture, per se, but I get it.
	So anyway, we had to sit through, Lil Wayne didn't show up, thank God.
	But Wiz Khalifa sat there with dry ice and some laser beams, just rapping for three fucking songs.
	Three minutes plus three minutes plus three minutes.
	And I'm with all fucking boxing dudes just going.
	Yeah.
	This was ever, I don't know if you've ever been to a musical or a gay movie, Gay Porn, but you're just sitting there going, please end, please end, please end.
	My friend Bruce LaBruce did a gay movie and I went to the premiere and there's lots of gay sex in it.
	And I was just like, okay, don't, don't, no, no, no, no, please don't, please don't.
	Is it the same vibe as like when you watch a movie with your parents, there's like a vivid sense of your in-laws?
	Yeah, I'm just like, oh.
	All right, fast forward.
	Where are we?
	Where's the number remote?
	You got to pretend to go to the bathroom?
	Yeah.
	I'm going to take a number two.
	You call me when the sex stops?
	This is 11 minutes.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	And it's not like girls come out or they go upside down or plus we're kind of spoiled.
	Remember Tyler the Creator's show at the Grammys where like a building blew up and he came on this giant 3D stage and there was 900 Tyler the Creators.
	Like that was a crazy show that pushed the boundaries.
	This could have been 1910 and I'm not exaggerating.
	We've had the technology for colored lights for a while now and We've had dry ice for a while.
	Colored lights.
	Whoa.
	So, this was just mundane.
	And it made me realize we are under the tyranny of the young.
	Here, go to, but before we get to that, go to 13A and just show this pathetic fight.
	The reason, I'm sure you've been going through Twitter and social media and you've seen plenty of Jake Paul or whatever his name is, Logan Paul, which one was it?
	Jake.
	Are you sure?
	Yeah, that's all I've seen.
	Okay, you've seen plenty of that because that was some action.
	You got a knockout.
	We'll get to that in a second.
	But this was just like...
	Turn it up.
	Snoop Dogg's really stoned.
	And I was kind of perturbed by that because these are such legendary fighters and he's calling his two drunk uncles at the barbecue.
	But on the other hand, he's right.
	It was just hugging, constant hugging.
	That's all you have to see is this clip and you get what the fight was.
	Do you think Tyson was telling himself to just hold back a little bit?
	Like he really was holding back?
	Yeah, he was.
	It was just an exhibition fight.
	But I assumed, remember he was crying?
	Going, I don't know.
	This monster's going to come out and it's going to kill people.
	I'm scared of that monster.
	And we're watching going, oh boy, that's all bullshit.
	It was, I've seen way better sparring at my gym with Mexican 13-year-olds laying into each other.
	And when I say way, I mean 50 times better.
	It's one of the worst fights I've ever seen.
	But the reason I bring up the tyranny of youth is, yeah.
	Everyone has to have a young angle, like this show.
	I'd love to just sit here myself and not torture you with the Jip Reagan, but he's young and it pays the bills to have youth on your team.
	You get young people.
	So we have to tolerate him together.
	He gets more signups.
	I hate him as much as you do.
	But like, you know, 60 minutes, it is dying of old age.
	Fox News, their median age group is 70 years old.
	70-year-olds don't buy anything.
	So it gets to the point where we have to suffer through three songs of Wes Khalifa just watching, trying to watch a boxing match between Roy Jones and Mike Tyson, the guys we grew up watching.
	And I've noticed that this tyranny of the young is everywhere, including the Catholic Church.
	We have war heroes who are waiting to be beatified.
	I always have trouble pronouncing that word.
	Turned into saints.
	We just finally got Michael McGivney, the guy who started the Knights of Columbus, finally.
	He's been dead for fucking 100 years.
	But this dude rolls around, some kid with leukemia.
	And when he found out he was dying, he made a few websites for the church.
	A saint.
	And it's weird because maybe if they have pictures, they have these ceremonies.
	It's a big deal becoming a saint.
	It costs like half a million dollars.
	You go through this, this, what's it called, due diligence for years.
	There he's got his own glass coffin in a sweatsuit.
	Is he dead?
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah, it takes hundreds of years usually.
	There's not a lot of living saints hanging around.
	And they're all like that guy, American soldier, but they don't like that because it doesn't really appeal to people.
	It's kind of depressing.
	The Italian church doesn't really like America.
	They feel like they're glorifying war.
	But look at this guy.
	He's got that beautiful painting, which I might get in my house, actually.
	No.
	And everyone's sitting around praying to him.
	He died at like 19.
	I'm sorry that he's dead, but like we live in a kid dictatorship.
	I wonder what my ultra-Catholic friends think about this, too, because they take the sainthood very seriously.
	And they've had skeptics look at the saints' bodies and they don't decompose and stuff like that.
	And there's weird anomalies that turn skeptics into Catholics.
	Well, a lot of them are Sagittariuses.
	And especially now with Venus rising, you're going to see a lot.
	I said to him, I go, I'm really skeptical at astrology because I'm a cancer and we have this sort of this nature where especially now with Pluto coming up on the arc, we have this whole like, that's not real, that's not real thing.
	It's kind of the way we are.
	It's kind of like my Mars is in retrograde always, though.
	Yeah.
	It's like a constant retrograde.
	That's why I hate being a cancer because I want to believe in astrology, but we're sort of, we don't.
	All right, so now let's get down to the shit show that was the fight.
	We had Jake Paul fighting the shortest dunker in the history of the NBA and just getting raped.
	Of course, Bob Moneri did a fantastic job of this assault.
	You can't play boxing, Nick.
	It's not something you can do for a lark.
	It's sort of like motocross.
	Wait, are you not signed up for this guy?
	No, I didn't know he was.
	See, this isn't my Instagram.
	I can't log in since I've been banned, so it follows my IP.
	So I'm afraid to log in to mine.
	This is censoreds.
	Okay, well, you've got to re-sign up.
	Or make a new one.
	I'll make one for the show.
	You just ruined the show.
	I did, yes.
	So wait, are you on your account now?
	No, I'm on censoreds.
	So have censored follow him.
	I did.
	Oh, okay.
	But he's got to approve it.
	Well, that's unfortunate.
	This just happened today.
	I said, can I see Elvis' first fight, this guy in our gym?
	And he's like, yeah, I'll send it to you on your Facebook.
	I was like, I am not allowed to look at Facebook.
	Well, don't you have a secret account?
	I can't have a secret account.
	They find me.
	That's true.
	All right, well, there's plenty of footage.
	It's just funny because Bob Moneri calls it the Special Olympics.
	Because we had celebrities fighting.
	With all these professionals, too.
	And by the way, when we're showing us the rap, can you just show us the gym that these guys trained at, talk to their trainer, stuff like that?
	I don't want to watch a fucking rap.
	Snoop Dogg, 54 years old, doing all his hits, DO to the G. I'm smoking tons of pot.
	I'm a double OG.
	The guy who fucking murdered someone and got away with it.
	And we're preaching to the young men of America.
	Okay, so jump to 15.
	I think that, yeah, this is the same shot I was going to show you anyway.
	Jake, bong!
	Oh, Lord!
	NBA All-Star Break!
	Nick's colors!
	That's an illegal punch.
	You can't punch him in the back of the head.
	All right, I'm here already.
	Let's continue.
	And Jake is dancing on him.
	This is gonna get bad.
	Bong, another one.
	Nate just keeps falling on his face.
	Yo, you told me this.
	That's not even the final one.
	Calabashes, all the aspects of kicking ass.
	You fucking lied to me.
	Because basketball is the same as boxing.
	800 mil, Nate.
	Outside of that, you're in the clear.
	All right, come on.
	And he catches him with a three-piece button.
	The like and subscribe and freeboard.
	Oh, talk about Smith.
	Those are clean.
	Yeah, he's a really good one.
	Those are clean.
	Look at him.
	That's not a notification bell.
	That's like that thing I started in 2012 that Take Us Down.
	Oh, yeah.
	Lay on the fucking floor.
	That's not Logan.
	Who's the older brother, Logan or Jake?
	I believe Jake is the old one.
	Logan.
	I like how they put the black people in the front.
	Apparently not a great idea, giving an 18-year-old $20 million.
	That experiment's over.
	They become a little annoying.
	He's 5'9.
	Wow.
	Pretty sure for a b-ball player.
	Pretty sure for a b-ball player.
	Yes.
	Good point, Ryan.
	You've been spoon-fed your whole life, so you know what I'm saying?
	Come take a trip to my world.
	So you don't know which one is older, Jake or Logan?
	His computer on?
	Hey, computer, how old is Jake Logan?
	What?
	No.
	Martin Cruz Smith is 78 years old.
	He was born on November 3rd, 1999.
	Computer, stop.
	Computer, how old is Logan Paul?
	Logan Paul is 25 years old.
	He was born on April 1st, 1990.
	And what's the other guy called?
	Logan Paul.
	I just said that.
	Jake Paul.
	Hey, computer, how old is Jake Paul?
	Jake Paul is 23 years old.
	Yeah.
	He was born on January 19th.
	So it's a little brother.
	Little brothers are bad news.
	Little brothers, I didn't realize I was doing this, but I'd be on the phone with my little brother.
	I mean, talking to a friend, and he'd come up to me when he was like five, and I would just go, fuck.
	Wait, why is this here?
	And I would just like shove him.
	And I would do this thing where I would just put my hand on top of his head and push, and he would go and collapse because, you know, he wasn't strong enough to stay up.
	And I did that all the time.
	And then I didn't realize I was training a ninja.
	So I'd say, here, you can punch me once.
	You can punch me five times.
	I'll punch you once.
	So you punch me five times and I'd go, but I was creating like thicker skin.
	He started getting stronger and stronger until one day we were in the backyard.
	And what I would do sometimes, I'd let him kind of win.
	This is when he was maybe 16, 15.
	And I'd let him kind of win for a bit.
	And then I would go, you fucked up big time.
	You've unleashed the kraken.
	And I would just come swirling out of whatever hold he had and just go, whack, whack, whack.
	And then put his arms behind his back and shove his face into the dirt.
	And so he had me in a headlock.
	And I go, all right, I've had enough.
	You're dead.
	And he's like, oh, shit.
	And he's so scared because this guy's been beating him up for 15 years.
	This is true of all little brothers.
	And my head's here, by the way.
	And he's going, and I could feel how scared he was.
	And I thought, rightfully so, because you're about to die.
	And then I go, all right, you ready to die?
	And he's like, not even talking, he's so scared.
	And he goes, I go, one, two, three.
	Oh, you got some balls.
	You have some fucking balls.
	And away we go.
	Yeah.
	Holy shit.
	And he was just, he was fucking petrified.
	And I go, it's officially over and you're officially dead.
	Okay, let me go.
	I can't breathe.
	I can't breathe.
	I can't breathe.
	I can't fucking breathe.
	And then he lets go and goes, and then I'm going, I am done.
	And then he sort of walks away like he just slayed the dragon.
	And then I was sort of like, fucking bullshit, man.
	I felt worthless.
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And I just walked back into the house and got a beer.
	And he sort of went back in the house.
	And from then on, our relationship was inverted.
	And if I would say, like, get the fuck over here, he'd say, what?
	And I'd go, well, get over here when you get a chance.
	Obviously, not right now.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
	God, I'm not demanding you get over here.
	By the way, they're doing something weird to the plumbing next door.
	And they've been doing it for a while now.
	I don't know what the fuck it is.
	It's the weirdest sound.
	It sounds like some sort of rumbling in our speakers.
	I hope you guys can't hear it because it's driving me nuts.
	Right, Trump?
	Nobody can do that like me.
	What?
	Do plumbing?
	It sounds like a plane.
	It sounds like a plane's upstairs, yeah.
	I don't like it either.
	So yeah, the basketball player and the YouTuber was funnily enough, the most interesting thing about this shit show.
	There was so many memes about it, though.
	The internet won in a knockout.
	That's a separate email I sent you.
	16.
	But most people seem to be saying, what is Nick thinking?
	Because you look at that Jake Paul's arms.
	It doesn't really matter how bad he is.
	If you get hit with a fucking big punch with one of those, you better be able to deke it.
	Because just one successful punch and he's going to be toast.
	But he was running around the ring.
	What's taking you so long?
	It says fight memes in the fucking email.
	Gotta.
	Holy shit.
	What is this mess?
	Now you're showing everyone your homework.
	I'm going to tell my kids this was Jake Paul versus Nate Robinson.
	Funny.
	Next?
	Who did it better, Apollo Creed or Nate Robinson?
	They look, I'm in the way of this, by the way.
	Does this look identical?
	It looks exactly the same.
	Even the shorts are pretty similar.
	He was wearing LeBron James' colors, which is not a great message now.
	Because LeBron James is dead, and you look pretty dead.
	It's a cool thing to do if you win.
	Similarly, by the way, wearing the guy's jersey right before you annihilate him.
	Oh, wow.
	It's a little harsh.
	Is he like...
	Is there bad blood or is there like...
	No.
	Okay.
	This is a motherfucker of the train, Nate Robinson.
	How is Beetlejuice still alive?
	I don't know how he's even still relevant.
	Like, people still do the Baba Booey thing, too.
	Yeah.
	All those jokes really.
	It's in your car every time you drive to work.
	But with all this bad style and embarrassing boxing, I was reminded of one of the coolest...
	I like sort of anti-boxers.
	There was this skateboarder named Neil Blender when I was a kid who would come up and Tony Hawk would be there and Steve Peralta, whatever his name was, and all the boneless one, fucking bones, Powell Peralta dudes, all those fucking San Diego dudes.
	And they'd all be trying their best and catching air and fucking doing handstands, all he McTwists and all that stuff.
	And then Neil Blender would come out.
	He invented the wool hat thing that all you young people wear.
	And he would just come out and do something terrible.
	Sometimes he was awesome and he'd blow your mind.
	But sometimes he would just come out, get off his board, sit on it, then lie back, then stand up and then walk away from his board and then kick it.
	And that would be his thing.
	And he'd lose, obviously.
	He'd lose the whole tournament.
	But that was his thing.
	He didn't give a shit about skateboarding.
	Best ramp I've ever seen.
	Okay, Neil.
	And I'm sure with exposure that a lot of kids will get in their backyards and create even better ramps.
	Here comes Neil again.
	And then he lost.
	Neil Glenn.
	Look, he would sabotage himself just to amuse himself.
	This is probably not a good example.
	This is probably him being just going to show him being rad and totally grinding and skating and destroying.
	Because he would skate or die.
	Okay, do something terrible, Neil, to make my point.
	They just said he's a real clown?
	Show something bad, though.
	Show a different one.
	This is all going to be rad.
	Anyway, Emmanuel Augustus was similar.
	He wouldn't sabotage himself, though.
	But he was just so fucking good that he would goof off during the fight.
	And I will never be good enough to do something like this.
	But I've always had this fantasy of you're doing a final knockout punch and you know it's going to be a knockout.
	So instead of like going, you just sort of go boof and watch the guy.
	Like in the movies where they throw the stick of dynamite, whatever, and they walk away.
	I thought, wouldn't it be cool if someone just went boom?
	And Emmanuel would do stuff like that.
	He would fuck around and he would dance to his own little song.
	Have you got Neil Being a dick?
	I think that's the second one.
	Art versus skateboarding.
	Yeah, I've seen this one before.
	Manual.
	And back again.
	And you step off the board.
	This is a huge tournament.
	People are ready to see crazy shit.
	And he goes, whoa.
	Then you do this.
	All right.
	Then you spin it around again and then you get back on top.
	Doesn't look cool.
	Yeah, Ryan be the guy in the audience going, okay, awesome.
	Wow.
	What's that called?
	A leg spin?
	He did three of those in a row.
	Okay, anyway, let's check out Emmanuel Augustus.
	Because we have pretty high standards for boxing.
	And that shit show on Saturday that cost me $45 to watch was regrettable.
	Look how cool this guy is.
	I have two videos of him that we can drop boxing.
	You can guess which one he is.
	Look at him kicking his legs in the air.
	I like he would stamp his feet too.
	He's dead now.
	He got shot in the head.
	He got shot in the head and lived.
	But he was kind of a vet.
	Like that one.
	That big stomp he does.
	Some people have tried to mimic it and they always get their heads kicked in.
	He was the only one who could do it.
	That's the move.
	That's cool.
	Yeah.
	Completely fearless.
	You got me?
	No, you don't.
	I do that as a joke.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You did that in the copper cab fight.
	Yeah.
	Double punch.
	He's the only guy who ever did a double punch.
	Check out the YouTube one.
	It's much better quality, though.
	Then we'll drop the brawling.
	This one right here goes out to all the babies, mamas, mamas.
	Baby's mamas, mamas.
	Babies, mamas, mamas.
	So grandma.
	He was smiling.
	He just didn't have the fear going.
	This is why I don't like fighting cops because they don't have any fear.
	And they can just go forever.
	There's no music playing.
	Look at that.
	Yeah, that was pretty wild.
	How many punches was that?
	Six?
	Two, three, four.
	Five.
	Six.
	Nope.
	He looks old in that one.
	Yeah, it does.
	I think Qaddafi or something.
	Yeah, it totally does.
	After Qaddafi had all that weird surgery.
	Wow.
	No, that Yes or Arafat was.
	Look at that.
	Pretty good moves.
	I might steal those moves next time I'm at a dance club, which is never.
	That's got to lower the morale of the other boxers relatively.
	Well, it's got to scare them.
	Yeah.
	Because this guy is not nervous.
	There it is.
	That's the same one.
	Look at that.
	What that really means is I don't feel pain.
	Is he Dominican?
	When they come back with the music, there's probably going to be a knockout, right?
	That's bad editing, gummies.
	What country is he from?
	I don't know.
	Hey, computer, where is Emmanuel Augustus from?
	Prince Albert is originally from Germany.
	Did that answer your question?
	Not even remotely close.
	Hey, computer, where is boxer Emmanuel Augustus from?
	Here's something I found on the web.
	According to Mameem.com, Emmanuel Augustus, born as Emmanuel Burton, born January 2nd, 1975 in Chicago, Illinois, is a retired American professional boxer.
	Yeah, he coached in LA, I think, most of his life.
	Okay.
	Let's get into the funnest part of the show.
	What doesn't suck is these people fighting back against COVID.
	But before we get to that, do we have a COVID tag in?
	A COVID thing-amadoodle?
	Totally do.
	We do.
	We've got a couple.
	All right.
	Let's roll one.
	Here's one.
	COVID.
	Okay.
	Another abolish the family message here we're getting.
	And, you know, this show is very pro-family.
	Put a ring on it.
	Have kids.
	Stop fucking around.
	You've been getting wasted for 10 years.
	How much Coke do you need to do in one lifetime?
	But one of the reasons we do that is because it's very clear, prevalent in the left's dogma with everything from BLM to COVID to fucking the Olympics.
	There's this anti-family abolish the family thing leaking through everything.
	The coronavirus crisis shows it's time to abolish the family.
	What does the pandemic tell us about the nuclear family and private household?
	Now, a private household.
	Now, this is by Sarah Lewis, who wrote a book called Sophie Lewis.
	Sorry, Sophie Lewis, who wrote a book called Like, We Need Surrogates Now or something like that.
	And remember the girl we had on last week who said, don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
	It's not safe and it's time to move on from this.
	And she was the woman who has no real family and got dumped by her husband right before Thanksgiving and was wandering around going to Old Navy looking for sweatpants.
	Sophie Lewis, killing preborn children is acceptable violence, according to leftist author Sophie Lewis.
	Abortion is a form of killing what we need to be able to defend.
	Sophie Lewis's mother has been dying of cancer for a long time.
	And coincidentally, around that time, she became an anti-family author who told you you don't really need a mom.
	Now that her mother's dead, she's really going full steam ahead with this notion that you don't need a mom.
	Sound familiar?
	Sound like BLM, who the African lady's gone, the two lesbians that are left were both abandoned by their father.
	One, just because he was young and could go fuck someone else, but the other, explicitly because she was gay and he found out.
	So these people without families, instead of going, I miss my family, they cope by saying, no, I don't want you to have a family either.
	And then my tragedy becomes the norm.
	Sound reasonable?
	No, it doesn't.
	I'm sorry you lost your mom, but I'm sticking with mine and my kids are sticking with theirs too.
	All right, now let's get to the rebellion.
	It really is a rebellion.
	And it just takes a few to stand up.
	Once one or two start doing it, the others start seeing how easy it is.
	The emperor has no clothes.
	And I know you're scared about losing your liquor license and having your place shut down, but if you go by their rules, it's going to get shut down too.
	And I'm going to talk about this in a second, but what does a bureaucrat hate more than anything?
	They hate rebellion.
	They hate sunlight.
	They hate being seen.
	So when you shine a light on them and say, no, I'm not paying your fine, all of a sudden, Joseph Broderick, I just made that name up, is an unknown person.
	He used to be an anonymous bureaucrat that could zap people from the other room.
	You know, they've done these experiments where you have a button and you can cause someone pain from another room.
	That's what the bureaucrats like to do.
	They like to sit anonymously in their kitchen and just go, eh, and give you a shock.
	But if you rip it off and go, who's shocked?
	Who just shocked me?
	All of a sudden, they start running and hiding.
	And the other beauty about that, oh, God damn.
	Mercedes calling me from prison like 20 times in a row.
	I got a life to lead, my dear.
	The other fantastic thing, so that's a loss for them, right, if you expose them.
	But if they keep going and keep zapping you and they kill the business and they're known, sorry, I'm not explaining this right.
	There's two possible outcomes by torturing a business.
	One is it goes under.
	The other possible outcome is you fight back and win, right?
	Now, if you expose the bureaucrat, both of those scenarios become a win.
	You'll notice this is what Scientology did.
	They started naming IRS agents who were auditing them, publicly outing them, and they said, okay, okay, forget it.
	You're a religion.
	No taxes.
	Just leave me alone.
	You got to understand, bureaucrats choose this job for a reason.
	They're pussies.
	All right, so let's go to this Canadian dude who was fighting back on Thanksgiving.
	Lockdown insanity is not just a U.S. phenomenon, it's happening throughout the globe as civil liberties and human dignity are thrown to the curb with COVID mass hysteria used as the excuse.
	How did I just know that was written by a dude?
	Okay, so scroll down.
	You can see the footage of the arrest.
	Adam Skelly of Etobicoke, Ontario.
	That's a suburb outside of Toronto.
	On Thanksgiving, he was arrested.
	They always seem very similar, these guys fighting back, right?
	Like they always have tartan on, flannels.
	They always seem to be mix.
	These guys are mix.
	Isn't that Lester?
	What's his name?
	Not Lester Bangs, but the guy.
	The vice guy.
	He lives in Canada now?
	Hits the cop.
	Thanks.
	Oh, you hit the cop?
	Black guy, yeah.
	Whoa.
	Now you're arrested.
	That was stupid.
	Come on, man.
	That's the guy right there.
	Why yell shame?
	That's so gay.
	Shame!
	Shame!
	So that's one guy fighting back.
	We'll follow his case closely.
	Oh, here's some more in his arrest.
	It might just be...
	There we go.
	Is that 2-2 you're at?
	No, this is the same thread.
	Remember, he was doing this a while ago.
	Is this one...
	There's multiple times?
	Because it looks like the same area.
	Oh, there's just different angles.
	If it says today and it's November 26th, that was the Thanksgiving thing, yeah.
	I'm getting a worship.
	And I love how they're desperately trying to do damage control with the press, even though the media is on their side.
	See if 2-2 has anything extra.
	No, that was the one, yeah.
	Yeah.
	And then over in New Jersey, we have this guy, Robbie De Niro, who was given a $15,000 fine, which appears to be the norm in our neck of the woods.
	And he just ripped it up.
	He ripped it up on TV.
	He ripped it up on Fox News.
	Or he was interviewed by Fox News.
	I'm not sure he did that on Fox News.
	Let's watch.
	And you know what happened with these guys?
	They ripped it up, and then the city went, oh, shit.
	No one's done that before.
	Okay, it's $1,000.
	You pay that?
	And he goes, I don't care if it's a million dollars.
	Fuck you.
	Wait, let's hear him talking.
	Life occurs.
	Makes it certainly challenging to grow the community that we had, like with any business.
	You have customers that come, customers that go, especially the membership-driven business.
	So you're always needing to replace customers because life occurs.
	People get pregnant.
	They move.
	Jobs change.
	They go to school.
	So you have a content meeting off of members, and you need to replace those members.
	And when we're shut down, it's week not to replace members.
	How worried are you that your business is going to go under?
	I am not worried that my business will go under.
	The government will never be the reason I'm successful.
	It will never be the reason I fail.
	If I fail, it says nothing.
	Let's see the Fox News interview, though.
	Is that in that same?
	That should be somewhere in that same clip.
	Was she on Fox and Friends?
	No.
	It's in the same clip.
	Yeah, there she is.
	Do they not show it?
	Just a picture of it?
	Yeah.
	Just a picture.
	I clicked it, though.
	Didn't work.
	All right.
	So that brings us to this guy.
	Yesterday's paper, Ronegades.
	Staten Island Bar decrees itself autonomous zone in protest of Cuomo COVID lockdowns.
	Sheriff shutters giant midtown booze bash.
	Defiant rabbi insists we won't surrender.
	So these are all people fighting back.
	We had two owners.
	There's this guy, what's his name?
	Keith McCullarney.
	McLarney.
	Keith McLarney is one corner.
	And then this other guy, Danny, what's his name?
	Fuck.
	Sorry.
	This other dude, Danny, I forget his name.
	I'll dig him up in a second.
	And they both decided to make an autonomous zone.
	And it's weird because this article is pretty flattering.
	It calls him the Suds of Anarchy.
	Staten Island Hotspot is stealing a page from Seattle's anarchist cookbook, declaring itself an autonomous zone, Seattle, sorry, free from the public safety restrictions that owners say they will refuse to abide by.
	We hereby declare this establishment an autonomous zone.
	And then, though, so we are looking at this on Sunday, and we go, let's just go down there.
	Let's go to Staten Island.
	It's not that far.
	And then there was this guy outside named Kevin Sheehan, and he writes this really bitchy tattletale article, which is becoming the norm in journalism.
	I sent you another email, Ryan, from just outside Vancouver.
	It's called Snitch.
	And what are you doing?
	Typing in this snitch.
	Why isn't it just in your recent froms?
	How many emails do you get a day?
	A bunch.
	Like, I sent this to you a few hours ago.
	It's your most recent email.
	Right?
	Is this?
	Yes.
	So why wouldn't you just look at your inbox?
	It's not the most recent one.
	I have to type in your name.
	I get spam.
	CBC journalist brags about ratting out worshipers at church.
	And Ezra Levant talked about this with Tommy Robinson.
	They said, Ezra Levant is in the courthouse and he just took a picture.
	That's against the rules.
	And you go, you little bitch.
	Instead of reporting on the case, you're reporting on other reporters bending the rules.
	Look at this bitch, Georgie Smith.
	Smythe.
	She sits there counting all.
	Turn up the volume.
	48.
	45.
	46.
	40, 45.
	47.
	This is Georgie.
	48.
	49?
	49.
	50.
	56.
	40, 45.
	53, 54.
	totally exposed what is that lily fam that's a woman She looks like your dad.
	There's something wrong with that.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	I'm voting to summarily suspend this license.
	All right, Commissioner Ford, your vote, please.
	I feel I have no other choice but to vote to summarily suspend this license.
	And Chairman Bradley.
	And I vote to summarily suspend.
	It doesn't seem like we can do business.
	So here's what we're going to do for everybody.
	We're going to give everything away for free.
	So now you can come to Max Public House.
	And you can drink.
	Keep doing it.
	At some point.
	Come down.
	See what we're about.
	We're doing things safe.
	Come on down.
	Open in.
	We can have a good time with this.
	So they came.
	So let's go over there, shall we?
	Let's head to Staten Island and talk to them.
	Hey, we're here with Keith from Max Public House in Staten Island, and we are in the autonomous zone.
	What does autonomous zone mean?
	An autonomous zone is a spot that we have, that we have our establishment that we are telling the governor and the mayor and any state and New York City agency that we are no longer going to abide by your rules,
	that you have completely overstepped your bounds, that everything that you are doing now is unconstitutional, and for us to survive, we need to stay open so that anybody that ends up wanting to come here, they are allowed to because it's America and you have the choice.
	And this is where this space is.
	But the question everyone always asks is, if they take away your license, doesn't that screw you and kill your whole business?
	Well, that's what they're trying to do right now.
	So you still have your license?
	No.
	They came on Friday and suspended our liquor license.
	And then last night, the state health department came and issued us a cease and desist order.
	And it was at that time that he was like, the agent said, you can't sell alcohol.
	You know you can't sell alcohol.
	And I said, we know.
	And it was at that time we said, everything is for free.
	If you want to come down here and have something to eat and something to drink, it is on Max Public House.
	We are not charging anybody to eat or drink at this establishment.
	If you care to make a donation, you do.
	If you don't, at least you had a good time.
	Now, is that legal?
	What would make that illegal?
	I guess nothing.
	I mean, I could give away alcohol.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Anyone.
	We'll see you on Wednesday.
	I hope so.
	Thank you.
	I guess anyone can just open their window to their house and say, here's free booze, right?
	The license is to sell it.
	Correct.
	Correct.
	That's brilliant.
	We're at the point where we pay our rent for the property.
	It is private property.
	We should have the choice to end up doing what we want on our property.
	You're no longer saying that we can end up selling alcohol, so we're not going to sell the alcohol.
	That's perfect.
	You know, what I love about this is when people take a stand, for the politicians and bureaucrats, it's lose-lose.
	Because if they kill this business, everyone hates them.
	They're the villains.
	And if you win, then they're inept and their rules don't work.
	So in that sense, you've already won.
	Well, I hadn't even had a time to wrap my head around all that aspect with it all.
	It's just that it was a matter of with everything that was going on, we were always willing to end up working with all the agencies to try and find a common ground to end up doing this.
	And they decided to just be lazy and say, hey, we're just going to shut it down for the better cause.
	But you're picking and choosing which establishments can and can't for no really good reason.
	And giving false information, we have no faith in our government right at this time.
	And I just want to provide for my family, so I need to end up staying open.
	So we leave it up to the people to have freedom of choice.
	If you choose and you want to end up coming here, please come.
	Well, you don't have a choice.
	Your business is done if you follow their rules.
	That's kind of what they want to say.
	Well, thank you for standing up to the bureaucrats, just standing up to Cuomo de Blasio, standing up to these people, because this is how revolutions start.
	They start with one person saying, all right, enough is enough.
	And then two people, and then three people, and so on.
	But we need you in the front pulling this off.
	A lot of people honk in Staten Island, I'm noticing.
	Welcome to Lincoln Avenue and Grand City, Staten Island.
	But we had to stand, and this has turned into more than just being about MAX.
	And this is about all small businesses.
	Yes.
	And anything that we are doing now, we might be the David against the Goliath of it all.
	And whether we survive or not, it's bigger than that now.
	And if anything that we can end up doing is bring awareness that other small businesses end up stepping up and anyone that is there supporting us and we can end up helping you with you to be able to stay open, then that's how it'll end up going down.
	Well, remember David won.
	Well, there you go.
	And Goliath was a douche.
	That's what I heard.
	I wasn't born.
	I wasn't alive at that time.
	All right, man, let's go inside and have a drink.
	Comfort.
	Sounds great.
	I got to take this home.
	Okay.
	There you have it, folks.
	We're here at the forefront of the revolution, fighting back against Cuomo the dictator.
	This is how revolutions begin.
	With one person saying enough's enough.
	That's three.
	No, if you count Danny and Keith as two, it's five.
	We got the barbecue in Toronto.
	We got this gym in Jersey.
	And we got this pub in Staten Island.
	Fuck it.
	It's so inspiring to see these guys.
	All right.
	It's time for Election Gate.
	Oh, no.
	Huge, huge mistake.
	Really?
	I thought you...
	God, it's hard to beat that one, huh?
	It really gets you pumped.
	That COVID thing didn't really get me pumped.
	It's a grower.
	What's another COVID one?
	Better COVID?
	There's this one.
	Nope.
	It's not doing it for me either.
	I believe that's for the COVID.
	I like the feminism one where he does the drawing.
	That's feminism.
	But the ending is so gross with that big woman.
	Jack the Ripper.
	Give me a girl with a slender wisdom.
	But till then, we got some stuff about feminism.
	I guess it's supposed to be grotesque.
	Yeah, I guess.
	Anyway, election gate.
	So my peeps are telling me today's the big day.
	Is today the big day?
	It's 9 o'clock.
	I haven't really seen anything, but go to 2.6.
	I sent you this.
	You can get involved in Stop the Steel from your own armchair, which is my favorite kind of activism.
	Stop the Steel from home.
	Arizona, Pennsylvania, Georgia.
	All your state legislators.
	Find your state's number, stopthesteal.us and then your state's acronym there at the end after the slash.
	Stopthesteel.us.
	Text STS to 202-788-5070.
	What's the next one?
	Any other pick?
	Monday, Stop the Steel.
	Oh, I guess I'm announcing these kind of late.
	If you have a time machine, go to the Hyatt Regency downtown hotel in Arizona.
	Five hours ago, you could have gone to the state capitol of Pennsylvania.
	In Georgia, all day, 6 p.m., it's probably over now.
	But any time travelers, this is your moment to shine.
	Sorry about that.
	You want to use that time machine to really, you could do a lot to help the election if you have that.
	I don't know.
	If you went back and killed Biden in his crib.
	I don't know if that's...
	Right?
	My fear with killing someone in their crib is you do it and then your time machine's broken and you spend the rest of your life in jail as a baby murderer and you're like, you got to understand.
	I was trying to save America in 2020.
	And they go, sure.
	Like time travel exists.
	Some more optimism here.
	It was 2.9.
	George Papadopoulos.
	God, I hate Greek last names.
	We prepared a year for this.
	We have it all.
	Don't lose faith.
	That's good to hear.
	Because that was our big fear.
	We go, come on, you surely you knew they were going to rip you off.
	It's like drug dealers when they get shot, giving the person the drugs and they don't get the money.
	They get killed instead.
	Obviously, the drug lord is going to have everyone involved murdered.
	Or you're going to go at war with the Cubans.
	His name really does sound like he had a different name and somebody was like, nah, Papadopoulos.
	No, it sounds like when you've got explosive diarrhea after a hangover and you're like, oh my God, it's coming out.
	It's coming out.
	It's coming out.
	And you finally make it to the bathroom and you sit down, you barely get your pants off.
	It just goes, blah, blah, blah, wow.
	And you're like, that's true.
	It's a poop-related entomonta.
	He's not the only guy with a diarrhea name.
	Judd Legum is a liberal activist who, Judd is a Hebrew word for river, and legume is French for vegetables.
	So what's a river of vegetables?
	That's diarrhea.
	That guy's name is diarrhea.
	What's the Hitler picture with him for?
	What a fucking turd that man is.
	Another leftist progressive, Judd Lagoon, proves again that Democrats are the new Nazi Party.
	Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
	I'm done with Hitler metaphors.
	Let's agree that we're full.
	All right, so election day, 27.
	Sidney Powell.
	Hey, Sabo, can you make a picture of Sidney Powell as Sid Vicious?
	And it just says Sid?
	But with long hair.
	Don't give her short hair.
	Breaking, one of the affiants in the complaint filed by Sidney Powell explained that she observed a batch of utterly pristine ballots.
	Most of the ballots had already been handled.
	They'd been written on by people and the edges were worn.
	They showed obvious use.
	However, one batch stood out.
	It was pristine.
	There was a difference in the texture of the paper.
	It was as if they were intended for absentee use, but had not been used for that purpose.
	There was a difference in the feel.
	These different ballots included a slight depressed pre-fold so they could be easily folded and unfolded for use in the scanning machines.
	There were no markings on the ballots to show where they had come from or where they had been processed.
	These stood out.
	In my 20 years of experience of handling ballots, I observed that the markings for the candidates on these ballots were usually uniform, perhaps even with a ballot marking device.
	By my estimate, in observing these ballots, approximately 98% constituted votes for Joe Biden.
	I only observed two of these ballots as votes for President Trump.
	98%.
	Which is bigger than Mugabe, bigger than EDMN, bigger than Milosevic.
	The same affian further testified specifically to the breach of the chain of custody of the voting machines the night before the election, stating we typically receive the machines, the ballot marking devices on the Friday before the election with a chain of custody letter to be signed on Sunday, indicating that we'd received the machines and the counts on the machines when received,
	and that the machines have been sealed.
	In this case, they were asking to sign the chain of custody letter on Sunday, even though the machines were not delivered until 200.
	Delivered until 2 a.m. in the morning on election day.
	The Milton Precinct received its machines at 1 a.m., blah, blah, blah.
	Anyway, you get the idea.
	Even worse, even worse.
	When we did receive the machines, they were not sealed or locked.
	The serial numbers were not what were reflected on the related documentation.
	Emphasis Murray's.
	So that's a fucking doozy.
	Allie was very worried about Georgia yesterday, and he prayed.
	Was it yesterday?
	Let's see.
	That's 3-0?
	3-0.
	What are you saying yep for when you don't even have it up?
	Because I was looking.
	That was 23 hours ago.
	So, yesterday.
	I cannot believe what I'm witnessing happening in Georgia.
	I've never seen anything like this in a first world country.
	Corruption, dereliction of duty, obvious criminal conspiracy.
	State actors shook it.
	Pray, angels intervene.
	And then soon after, 13 hours later, God intervened.
	Our opponents cannot destroy evidence for at least 10 days in a surprise third ruling.
	Praise God.
	Keep up with the blind faith.
	Prayer, fasting, abstaining, and good acts.
	It's hard to not get biblical about all this shit, isn't it?
	Here's probably the best article I've read about all this.
	I got this from Jim Goad, 3-1.
	Apparently a genius has been hired to intervene.
	Dr. Kirshavartz Nia.
	Smartest man in the room.
	This guy's credentials are unbelievable.
	He focuses on cybersecurity problems.
	He's go to the top there.
	He's one of the weightiest names in the world when it comes to this kind of stuff.
	He's got a degree, like PhD.
	What are his academic credentials?
	We do respect academia when it's STEM.
	In doing cybersecurity and technical counterintelligence work for the CIA, NSA, and FBI, he had spent decades connecting top secret dots.
	After several months of working with Mr. Courtney, he began connecting those dots too.
	He did not like where they led.
	So what has he discovered?
	One, Hammer and Scorecard is real, not a hoax, and both are used to manipulate election outcomes.
	By the way, you'll notice when you listen to NPR or apparently even some cucks at the post, they always say unsubstantiated or he's falsely claimed the election was stolen.
	Let's wait till the verdict is in before you say you falsely claim something.
	Two, Dominion, ESS, Scheidel, and SmartMatic are all vulnerable to fraud and vote manipulation, and the mainstream media reported on these vulnerabilities in the past.
	Three, Dominion has been used in other countries to forge election results.
	Four, Dominion's corporate structure is deliberately confusing to hide relationships with Venezuela, China, and Cuba.
	All socialist and or communist, and all our enemies.
	Five, Dominion machines are easily hackable, as we learned from the New York Times professor.
	I mean, sorry, I forget who the professor was, where he was at, but he did it live in class.
	He was Harvard.
	Dominion memory cards with cryptographic key access to the systems were stolen in 2019.
	So we have the evidence.
	A lot of it is circumstantial.
	We don't have the smoking gun we'd want to guarantee a victory, but circumstantial evidence wins in cases like this.
	We're not trying to prove someone was murdered.
	We're trying to improve an election was stolen.
	So the only question that really remains is, does the Supreme Court have the balls to pursue this?
	We'll see.
	And apparently today is a big day.
	I don't know how those rallies went across the country, but I guess we'll see tomorrow in our new hit show Yesterday's News.
	And of course, Tuesdays are the fun days where we don't have to catch up on four days of news.
	So there'll be a lot of making fun of feminists.
	But today we had to get serious.
	All right, let's get less serious now as we pull down our pants and pull out the mail bag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.
	Let's turn serious together's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Ryan dug up an old letter from September when he was looking up a subject, and this guy wrote in saying that I've got a bad reputation, and I should be on Tucker Carlson regularly.
	No, I'm curious.
	That would really help.
	Here it is.
	I tried to call.
	This is from September.
	Dug up, we dusted this old chestnut off.
	I see a big opportunity for you, he says in bold.
	I received a call today, blah, blah, blah.
	Yes, Trump did very well, but he says that he did not explicitly disavow white supremacists like the Proud Boys.
	So then I basically got to explain to this guy that the Proud Boys are not racist, blah, blah, blah.
	Most of it was no, couple thoughts, blah, blah, blah.
	He goes on and on.
	The media has stuffed you, Gavin, blah, blah, blah.
	You should sue the New York Times, blah, blah, blah.
	But I think in many ways, litigation is barking up the wrong tree.
	Then now we're getting to the evidence.
	I mean, sorry, what I really have to do, this is his advice.
	You need to get on television, prime time television.
	Think the nightly news, he says.
	Think Tucker Carlson or Hannity, which Trump probably sees, by the way.
	Regular Americans, you see, watch TV.
	They watch Fox.
	They watch OAN.
	They might watch like Lester Holt, Nightly News.
	Did you used to work at Fox?
	Couldn't you contact an old buddy and get on there?
	Especially now that everyone is talking about a group you created?
	And if you wonder what the benefits are, they are chiefly twofold.
	One, you will inform Middle America that you're not a white supremacist.
	And two, you would increase your exposure.
	You could also plug sensor.tv.
	Perhaps you could double your subscribers in a short amount of time.
	Anyway, some food for thought.
	PB won't be trending forever.
	If you must act, act quickly.
	I got to ask this kid, how old are you?
	It never occurred to me that I should, it would be good to get on Tucker, Carlson, and Hannity promoting Proud Boys and censored.Fucking TV.
	And in his mind, this is what happens.
	So you're on there.
	You're like, it was a bright young man by the name of Blank Blank that brought this to my attention.
	Tucker and Hannity are both like, thank you for coming on.
	I can't believe we got you.
	Who's the man behind this?
	His name's Brendan.
	This is from Guy.
	Hitler mustache is actually a very deliberate choice.
	Hitler had a normal mustache before World War I, but he had to change it to the iconic stash in order to have a gas mask completely airtight.
	So I guess they go around like that.
	So having the so-called Hitler mustache is actually a social declaration and signal, you spelt signal wrong, guy, to all other German veterans that he is still a soldier and that the war never really ended for him.
	And another thing, please don't hang up.
	No, No, no, sounds like we have a Nazi on our tail.
	When someone knows a lot about Hitler and it's not insulting, you gotta go, hmm, something's fishy there.
	Yeah, I stopped.
	He was a vegetarian, but it was for health reasons.
	And he grew his own yams and actually made a delicious pumpkin pie that he sold at a local market and it sold for twice the price of other pies.
	People once called it the most delicious pie in Stuttgenfock.
	I love your fake German.
	One of my favorite sings ever.
	Hi, Mr. Gavin.
	Please consider bringing Sleazy P. Martini to contribute to your content network.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	He's experienced and funny.
	How many views does he have?
	What the hell's going on?
	Pushed the button and it said I was live.
	I don't feel like I'm live.
	Feeling, nearly dead.
	I think I got the COVID.
	I think my man Trump gave it to me.
	You want me to skip in the middle or skip in the middle?
	Yeah, skip in the middle.
	Not into poetry slams.
	Because, well, frankly, it's rap without music.
	So, you know, let's get it together and put a beat to it.
	Might get somebody to actually kid.
	Everyone's a Luddite until they run at a shit paper, says Treeoxon.
	No, thank you.
	I know.
	It seems really cool, though.
	Well, it's not boring to look at, at least.
	Yeah, it's like a really...
	Maybe I'll give it a little more time, but it wasn't blown away.
	Looks like flabbergasts.
	Hey, Gavin Rye, here's a clip from Project Runway Season 13, episode 3 that aired on March 20th, 2019.
	One of the contestants, Cavid Kupor, designed an outfit with a mask.
	There was no mask theme, and no other contestants made a mask.
	Just the guy named COVID.
	No.
	My mind doesn't know what to do with this.
	COVID's luck.
	Would you mind putting your mask back on?
	Thank you.
	I had not noticed COVID's detail.
	This 3D applique.
	I mean.
	It just gets better.
	What do you guys think of this mask?
	It's sick.
	I didn't intend it, but you must be hot.
	You should probably take the mask off.
	Why did she mention the mask like that?
	I don't know.
	The COVID thing was weird, obviously.
	But the fact that she said, put on your mask, and what do you think of the mask?
	Is Q a homo?
	COVID's luck.
	Did you mind putting your mask back on?
	Thank you.
	I had not noticed COVID's detail.
	This 3D athlete.
	I've never heard of the name COVID before either.
	What do you guys think of this mask?
	No.
	It's sick.
	Banana, but you must be hot.
	You should probably take the mask off.
	What was that little power play, too?
	She just told him to put it back on.
	Then she says, you should be hot.
	Take it off.
	That was two different.
	I know.
	But the other one was doing like an alpha female thing with the other one.
	I override that bitch.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	The name COVID.
	What the hell?
	I never heard of that before.
	That sounds really crazy.
	It's Indian, Hindu.
	Okay.
	So that was weird.
	But it's sort of like all those pandemic books where they go, this was predicted in a book about the pandemic in 1990.
	You're like, yeah, there's been a lot of shit out there.
	We're going to have some weird coincidences.
	This happened with 9-11 too, like 9 plus 11.
	And then you add up the twin towers.
	That's two.
	And then it happens to be September.
	Remember the dollars?
	The dollar bill thing?
	Oh, yeah.
	The folder dollar bill, and it shows you what's going to happen.
	That blew my friggin mind.
	It blew your tiny, stupid mind.
	I was like, dude, there it is right there.
	Sup, Gavin, Ryan, San.
	I think a lot of us would benefit from having a soundboard app with all of your sound clips.
	I quote the show at work with friends all the time.
	It'd be a cool idea to consider.
	Wachunyori mo anata wo aishi tiai masu.
	That means I like you more than a friend.
	No, I'm into that.
	Yeah, that sounds awesome.
	Dear G-Dog, I'm sure that you know that Gutfeld does an animals are great segment on the five.
	No, I did not do that.
	I do not watch anything but Tucker on Fox.
	And I think it'd be great to see you be the contrarian with Animals are fucking losers on a regular basis.
	Your commentary on the planet show was fucking high quality comedy.
	Doing a daily segment would probably help us subscribers get our fix.
	Yeah, I could do that.
	That's a good idea.
	I'm not burning that suggestion.
	Loser.
	And it's interesting that Guttfeldt, who may or may not be gay, doesn't have kids.
	It's like Ricky Gervais loves his dogs.
	When you have an actual human who does things and contributes, and then you see a dog, you're just like, get this out of here.
	Like my little dog comes up to me and puts his paw on me, like, pet me, pet me.
	And I just go, no.
	No.
	I'll pet one of my fellow humans that I made.
	How about bearded dragon?
	What?
	Bearded dragon.
	What about a bearded dragon?
	They're pretty cool.
	We should have like weird reptiles plus the mantis shrimp and reptiles?
	Every time I see a reptile, I think, ha ha, you fucking loser.
	You lost.
	Mammals won.
	You were eating us, shitting on us.
	Then it got cold out and you disappeared.
	We were underground.
	We came back up.
	And now, look at you.
	The best you can do is birds.
	Lizards and birds.
	Losers and losers.
	Ha ha.
	Hey, Gavin Rygai found a solid drop at the two-minute mark.
	I predict this will suck.
	And now the President of the United States.
	Two minutes.
	Let's go.
	Massive dump.
	This election was over, and then they did dumps.
	They call them dumps.
	Big, massive dumps.
	Okay.
	That's pretty good.
	Hey, Gavin Ryan.
	Oh, Tommy Robinson update.
	Good.
	Tommy appeared in court today accused of assaulting a man who sexually abused his daughter.
	So he was at the pool, and this guy was fault.
	I think he grabbed his daughter's waist or something or touched her buttocks.
	And I don't know if the guy knew it was Tommy Robinson's daughter or not.
	I can't remember.
	But Tommy, of course, knocks him out, doesn't knock him out, but punches him, and then holds him there for the authorities.
	And he, Tommy, gets accused of assault.
	Someone sexually molests your daughter and you're in trouble.
	What would you suggest I do?
	Just say, uh-oh, I hope he doesn't get away.
	And then the guy grabs his shit and runs.
	Oh, well, sorry, honey.
	He got away.
	I did call the police, though, and they should be the ones handling it.
	I shouldn't handle my own affairs with my daughter.
	The beast got a bloody nose as Tommy apprehended him.
	God, you're lucky you'd get away with that.
	I would fucking murder you.
	Anyway, Tommy's just left the court and surprisingly didn't get jailed.
	He got 300 hours community service in order to pay court costs.
	The beast is appearing at court next year.
	Love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
	Big Stevie in fucking Glasgow.
	I wish I knew you'd run Glasgow so I could have done that waste entire time in home anyway.
	Magic.
	Fucking magic.
	Brilliant sores.
	Fucking brilliant bugman.
	You're used people.
	That's fucking magic.
	So as.
	But it's good that Tommy, you know, punched that guy and got his 300 hours because he's saying to the rest of us, I don't care what the court says, just do it.
	Here's what'll happen to you.
	You'll get 300 hours.
	Then two people do it.
	They get less hours.
	They can't.
	It's like Lenore Skinesi said in Free Range Kids.
	They can't arrest us all.
	He gets community service for providing community service.
	Yeah.
	How about for my community service?
	I just beat the shit out of pedophiles.
	I'll work at various pools.
	And every time a Pakistani molests a little kid, I'll kick his ass.
	Yeah.
	Yo, G-Dog and shit lips.
	Okay, that sucks to hear.
	And have that.
	It's got to burn.
	It does.
	I was watching Yellowstone on Paramount this weekend, and every commercial break they showed a preview for this made-for-TV Christmas movie called Dashing in December.
	Sounds pretty gay, right?
	Get to see you, too.
	What has it been?
	Two years?
	We just space-time two months ago.
	Leave your fancy shoes out here, and I'll hose them off.
	Let's wink with the music.
	Isn't that Andy McDowell?
	She was in Scrooge.
	Heath, Heath, Pete.
	I'm sorry.
	It's okay.
	What's our not drinking?
	Yeah.
	I brought the terrible wine.
	Look at all the faux puzzles so far.
	He stepped in poo and criticized a bottle of wine.
	Gay men can't act.
	Why did you come here to work?
	Some of us just like being here.
	Not everyone needs more.
	Oh.
	Sorry.
	It's this one.
	Oh, they're literally gay.
	You're not really that distant, are you?
	Gay?
	I'm just doing it.
	Awesome.
	Moving to New York.
	I was choosing greener pastures when I left home in the streets.
	Sometimes you just have to find a way to farm.
	I found browner pastures for what you have.
	I went to New York trying to find AIDS, and I got it.
	And I'm bringing it back home to you.
	What about the poor women involved in that?
	The guy's girlfriend's like, um, I had life planned out with you.
	What the fuck?
	Big fan, Adam.
	I want to fuck with my flip-flops on.
	Adam, that was beautiful.
	But I think it's a total rip-off of a movie I saw with the legally blonde chick and Matthew McConaughey.
	Reese Witherspoon?
	Rhys Witherspoon.
	And he comes back for some wedding or something.
	And she's like, oh, you left our lonely, lowly, little shitty southern town because you're too big for your britches.
	It's called Mud?
	Maybe.
	No, it's pretty old.
	And then he's like, I think he actually has that same line.
	Like, I went to New York to find something, and I didn't realize it was right here all along.
	I'm like, it's mud.
	Unless they've been in multiple movies together.
	Someone's living here.
	No, that was like an action thriller, like, horror, super intense thing.
	This was just a cheesy chick flick.
	ODED.
	Chinese sociologist Dr. Li Yi, we are driving America to its death.
	COVID-19 has been beneficial.
	Uh-oh.
	Chinese sociologist Dr. Yi Li, we are driving for China, North Korea.
	And there will be no U.S.-China war, but we will take over Taiwan.
	Okay, don't care.
	I noticed a lot of people criticize me for saying that Taiwan is in China.
	Okay, why was my return address when I lived there?
	Why did it end in ROC, Republic of China?
	I don't care about what you're doing.
	You can take over Taiwan.
	Good.
	Fuck him.
	I guess we should be reporting on the giant riots in Paris.
	I used to say I only care about the West.
	I'm kind of giving up on a lot of Europe, too.
	I don't care.
	I'm sorry.
	It's just my emotions.
	Don't tell me my feelings are wrong.
	Hi, Gavin.
	Just want your thoughts on Copper Cab's logic.
	Check out his recent short TikTok video.
	I like you more than a friend.
	All right, let's see.
	And we're using condoms, protection.
	We're not going to have kids.
	I mean, we're half siblings.
	It's only half weird.
	I mean, half-weird.
	That's a good point, Copper Cab.
	It's only half weird.
	He has to keep exaggerating more and more as society becomes more and more depraved.
	Okay, here's a letter that we could have put in our COVID section.
	I should probably go through the letters before we fuck in poo our pants before we do the show.
	Debunking Trump tweets.
	No big win in Georgia for Team Kraken.
	A claim that Trump's legal supporters won a major injunction and trying to overturn election results in Georgia proved to be short-lived.
	Well, it doesn't, my friend, because we prayed.
	And now we get a freeze for 10 days, don't we?
	Raiding outdates.
	Ah, I've never seen that before.
	Frankly.
	It ends with...
	What, an update?
	Anyway.
	Yeah, it's not over till the fat lady sings, kids.
	All right, last one.
	Dearest criminal duo, Stabbin Gavin, and Fag Zone Capone.
	What does Nova Scotia, why does Nova Scotia send a Christmas tree to Boston every year around December 6th?
	A thread about why the West is the best.
	Sounds like it's going to be long.
	A tree from Nova Scotia is now in Boston Common.
	The Nova Scotians send one a year.
	Why?
	It's December 1917.
	Canada's been at war for more than three years.
	But children in Halifax are excited because it's almost Christmas.
	On December 6th, two ships collide in Halifax Harbor.
	Sparks fire, black smoke.
	People watch from windows.
	Children walking to school went to the shoreline.
	One ship is carrying relief supplies for war-torn Belgium.
	The other is laden with 2.9 kilotons of explosives.
	He could have run, he could have saved himself, but he stayed to warn incoming trains.
	The passengers survived.
	Vince Coleman did not.
	The explosion and subsequent tsunami leveled everything within 1.5 square miles.
	The blast shattered windows 60 miles away.
	Fishermen off the coast of Massachusetts said they heard the boom.
	The ship's anchor landed 2.3 miles away.
	What?
	Holy shit.
	That's crazy.
	1,600 people died instantly, another 400 within days.
	Children never made it to school, never returned home.
	Shrapnel wounded thousands, blinding those who stood in windows watching the blaze.
	When a blizzard hit the next day, 25,000 were without shelter.
	Canadian military members rushed to the scene.
	British soldiers are amongst the first rescue teams sent ashore.
	Okay, doctors and nurses poured in from neighboring towns.
	When word reached Boston, details were scant.
	Governor Samuel McCall offered assistance.
	Hey, computer, how far is Halifax from Boston?
	From Boston.
	Halifax is 663.9 miles away by car.
	That's really fucking far.
	When an official at Halifax first read this letter from the governor, he broke down in tears.
	And it says, it is evident from all reports on hand that thousands are in great distress as a result of the great catastrophe, which has spread death and devastation in Halifax.
	Generous contributions will be needed to carry on the work of relieving immediate distress by providing clothes, food, medicines, blah, blah, blah.
	Cash will be required to do this.
	And so the governor, is he a governor?
	Governor Samuel McCall offered assistance immediately via telegraph.
	Less than 12 hours after the explosion, a train left Boston with doctors, nurses, and supplies.
	The train was the first of many shipments of medical personnel and supplies.
	Oh, that almost got me.
	You almost got me.
	On the train to Halifax, Abraham Ratshevsky heard rumors about the situation, but still was shocked upon arrival.
	An awful sight presented itself.
	Buildings shattered on all sides.
	Chaos apparent.
	No order existed.
	So it brought tears to your eyes.
	We got to get on with the show here.
	This is horrible.
	We'll look it up.
	Don't bad timing.
	No.
	Too soon.
	Americans stayed behind for months, years in some cases.
	Nova Scotians never forgot the unconditional support.
	How could we ever forget?
	The tree in Boston Commonists from Nova Scotia.
	What?
	So they sent a tree.
	They're not really being very specific about why they chose a tree or anything.
	Anyway, great story.
	Interesting.
	And we always forget in war, we always assume it's like bad guy shoots good guy, and then they died on the battlefield.
	But there's so many other deaths from training, from when the war is over, guys being carted home on B-52 bombers, safe, the war is over, and then that plane crashes.
	Explosives on their way to Belgium explode in Halifax, kill thousands.
	All right.
	Guess what it's time for, folks?
	I'm gonna...
	Should I guess?
	You should guess.
	I think it's the final video.
	This...
	You know, we often talk about how women can make themselves so attractive.
	They just don't be fat.
	You know, put on some makeup, have some high-heel shoes.
	And it's pretty easy to stay above five no matter what you look like.
	Even if you're a fat, ugly pig.
	But men are also capable of making themselves so fucking disgusting.
	And that's not just their lifestyle, getting fat, growing out a big, long neckbeard, but also becoming mentally disgusting.
	And just playing video games and indulging in this infantilized adulthood, these pathetic, wrinkled teenagers, basement dwellers.
	And I thought after crapping on women all the time, this would be a great opportunity to show you how utterly disgusting the modern American male can be.
	Even look at the cords on his microphone.
	What are my fetishes?
	asked Swinnerders.
	I don't really have anything that I consider a fetish.
	I have things that I'm interested in.
	Two fantasies that I don't expect I'm ever going to be able to fulfill is I'm really into pregnant women for some reason.
	The tinier they are to begin with, and the bigger their belly distends, the more hot I think it is.
	And I've also always really want...
	This is him, the black hole in his stomach that he usually fills with Doritos, craving love and marriage and knowing deep down that he will never reproduce.
	That haunts him.
	His brain, he knows that cavemen fought off saber-toothed tigers and Russians fought in World War II and made it here.
	And one of them jumped off a boat and swam to like fucking New York.
	And then their family, after he got married, they moved to Milwaukee and became farmers, even though the snow was crippling in the winters and all that work, all those thousands of years.
	And then he's like, the end.
	And so he genetically recognizes that and his shame comes out as sexual perversions.
	To fuck a woman in her wedding dress, preferably on her wedding day.
	But I'm flexible on that part.
	You should be.
	I don't think either of these is ever going to happen.
	Yeah.
	Odds are pretty good.
	You make the Wookiee sound.
	I'm not very good at it, Bear Girls.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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