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Nov. 26, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:05:46

GOML LIVE #75 - WE ARE FAMILY

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Time	Text
	Somebody said you got me.
	It's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McKinnon.
	Does she love you better than I can?
	I'm 50 years old.
	I'm older than your dad.
	Oh shit, we don't have a book today.
	Why don't we have this book?
	Sam Hyde's How to Bomb the U.S. Government.
	I'm not sure it's still available.
	It's so fucking insane.
	It's like 900 pages.
	A lot of them are just garbage pages.
	But in the grand scheme of things, it's so cool having a 900-page book that has really interesting, funny shit in it and also total and utter garbage.
	Like, that's what's great about Sam.
	I don't think he grew up with a dad.
	And sometimes that can work out with him.
	Because I don't know, it makes you more creative.
	There's less discipline in your life.
	Oh, no.
	Huge, huge mistake.
	That opening was Robin.
	And what's that song called?
	Dancing on My Own.
	Dancing on My Own.
	I keep all show notes down that we're selling them.
	She's an ugly Swedish woman who is incredible at writing songs.
	Kind of reminds me of The Knife.
	You know the knife?
	They did a cover of that Hispanic dude song.
	Doom, Badooni Doom, Doom, Dadooni Doo, Doom, Doom, Badooni Doom, Boom, Badoobi Doom, Badooby Doom, Doom.
	You know that song?
	Jose Gonzalez's?
	The knife.
	Jose.
	Heartbeats.
	Heartbeats.
	Yeah.
	The knife's cover of heartbeats reminds me of Robin.
	That's fun.
	Get some leaves.
	Why not?
	You're going to buy them.
	See, this community was so fun and pure until fucking E.T. showed up and brought the heat.
	Another Northern European.
	Hey, speaking of Northern Europeans, thanks to our viewers who introduced me to that movie, The 12th Man.
	My mom told me about some dude named Jürgen Schluckenschlapps, and I mentioned it on the show.
	Yeah, his version sucks.
	And they said, hey, there's a movie about that war hero.
	So, hold on, I'm just getting the sponsors for today.
	So, yeah, I checked out the movie and I thought, Jesus Christ, this job is like taking up all of my life.
	Like, I record shows, and then I go home and watch what our readers tell me to watch.
	But it's a really amazing fucking movie.
	Although, I gotta say, I don't want to sound like Trump talking about McCain, but as far as War Hero goes, War Heroes go, you were mostly on a sled with no feet or hands because they had frostbite.
	Like, you were cool at the beginning.
	That's the problem with this movie.
	At the beginning of the movie, he's shooting Nazis and stuff.
	And then the rest of the movie, he's just like being carted around by Norwegian volunteers who care about him and want him to be okay.
	But it's really, really good.
	And another problem with it, of course, is it's subtitles, so you can't look at your phone.
	And my phone addiction is reaching pandemic levels.
	What's the music?
	Is that Beastie Boys?
	All true.
	It is not Beastie Boys.
	So it became a very symbolic escape because they thought they got all 12 saboteurs and they only got 11 and it gave hope to Norwegians that they could fight the Nazis.
	It's weird that Sweden was neutral and Norway was not neutral.
	Maybe if you're in a northern European country, you don't have much an army, just say, I'm neutral too.
	Like Sweden, no?
	Am I stupid?
	I've never done war before.
	Some asshole sent us a sweatshirt.
	I like this one.
	Bryce.
	What do you think?
	Thank you, Bryce.
	They're not really for sale.
	This is how millennials do business and make things.
	They just like click on the internet, spend a bunch of money.
	I don't know where they get it from.
	Send it to you, and then it's like a business.
	Ooh.
	Like Ryan's Antifa shirts.
	Like he just made a bunch of shirts.
	How much money did you make off your Antifa shirts?
	I made sure to sell them cheap, which was kind of a mistake.
	We didn't ask that.
	So maybe a couple hundo?
	Low hundo, maybe two, three hundo.
	Net or gross?
	Net.
	So you spent like $400 and made $200?
	Gross.
	So what were your profits?
	What did you walk away with in your pocket?
	You don't know what net and gross means.
	$250 tops.
	250.
	Do you know what net and gross means?
	Yeah, net is like how much you made, but then you deduct the profits.
	That's your gross.
	Right?
	Or is it opposite?
	No, the gross is the total amount of income you took in.
	Yeah, that's what I thought.
	So you made like 100 of these and they cost $99, right?
	And you sold them all for cost, so you made $100.
	That's your gross.
	Your profit, your net would be $1.
	Right.
	So, yeah, like your net is what you walk home with in your pocket, and you can walk home.
	I netted about $250.
	I don't believe you.
	Okay.
	You don't have to.
	That wasn't the only shirt I sold.
	I sold the Fort Lauderdale shirt.
	Fart Lauderdale?
	Yeah, and then like an Asian Pat Dixon shirt.
	No, we're talking about the anti-Fa shirt.
	Oh, that's a walk home.
	I don't know.
	So the thing is, I just threw a bunch up there.
	And I really, I don't remember how much of each unit I got.
	Don't you have to make a minimum?
	No, that's the thing.
	It was direct-to-garment print.
	So I'd travel to Staten Island to get them so I could see the quality of them before sending them out because there were some issues.
	I wanted to make a tag like this shirt I made.
	And there's a tag.
	And so the placement of the tag, the placement of this, how big this was, I wanted to see it on the shirt and how the print came out because some of them were kind of iffy.
	And so I would have to go to Staten Island to get all my orders.
	So that took a long time and then it became not worth it.
	But I like it.
	How'd you get to Staten Island with your grandparents' car?
	No, I used to live at the hostel that I worked at in Union City.
	So I'd take the bus into the city and then go down to the Manhattan and then hit the ferry.
	And then I did that for Bobo, too.
	I recorded a little documentary where Bobo's mom fell.
	Remember that?
	The very unfortunate mishap.
	And so I made shirts and I raised her like $300 because Anthony promoted it and all this stuff.
	So that one did really well, but I didn't make money on it.
	Did you have to go to Setino and see how that went?
	Yeah, but that was one big bulk order.
	I got all the orders first and then went there.
	It wasn't like a thing, like you go to the site and you go.
	It would have been like an absolute catastrophe.
	All right.
	Well, that's why I stopped doing it.
	It was a catastrophe.
	Okay.
	So I stopped.
	I just want them to suffer.
	Also, Bryce, anybody that wants one of these could hit up Bryce Reigs90.
	Well, yeah, you go ahead and hit up Bryce, and I guess he'll click a thing when you click a thing, and then he'll get it sent, and then he'll ship it out.
	Like, how is this a business?
	I feel the way, I feel about these shirts, the way Howard Stern feels about podcasts.
	Like, this is just stupid.
	It's just someone clicking on a thing and then clicking a thing.
	Vincent Gallo has shirts that are the same, and he signs them all, but it's a cool concept, the little write-ups he does, but I don't want one of Vincent Gallo's shirts, and I don't want one of these shirts.
	It's just a fucking dumb print.
	I hate Joe Biden.
	I think it's funny that he's a pedophile.
	This is a disturbing image.
	I'd like to wear it to trigger my neighbors, but it stoops.
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	Seems to be some subtext there with the repetition of proud, doesn't there?
	You may be a member.
	So we're going to take calls soon.
	This show is dedicated to calls, but there's so much going on with Election Gate that I feel like I can't ignore it.
	So we're going to have to do an Election Gate mini segment, emergency segment.
	Hit it.
	It's a good jam.
	So some shit went down today.
	Now, today I recorded a Thanksgiving episode on how to deal with your liberal family on Thanksgiving.
	I'm going to make it free because for all you subscribers, you know the whole story.
	It's me repeating the same old things I've said a million times like we didn't start slavery, we ended slavery.
	I'm trying to give people tools, conservative tools, to not want to kill their sister because she's a nut and she's obsessed with Trump being racist.
	So you don't really need it.
	You've been watching this show forever, but maybe some of your conservative friends need it.
	So let's make it free, Ryguy.
	Let's make it free.
	Let's put it up tomorrow morning.
	But in it, my dad calls me and he tells me about yesterday's news or this morning's news.
	And so it's going to sound slightly old tomorrow.
	But the Kraken has been released, my friends.
	It's on.
	Let's start with the top one.
	This is huge.
	A smooth curve going up.
	Not any big spikes.
	That's kind of what Greg was talking about, the anomalies of loading and uploading those votes.
	So that big spike that occurs there is a prime indicator of fraudulent voting.
	And that's 604,000 votes in 90 minutes, is that right?
	Correct.
	This is 337 votes.
	337,000 votes in that period of time.
	Yes.
	And when you look at this entire curve with all these spikes, can you calculate how much of a vote that accounted for for Biden and how much for Trump?
	Close to 600,000.
	I think our figures were about 570, some odd thousand that all those spikes represented overtime.
	For Biden.
	Correct.
	And how much for Trump?
	I think it was a little over 3,200.
	How about that?
	See, that's huge.
	you know, the biggest takeaway from that whole thing is the laughs.
	Yeah, they're like, what the fuck?
	600,000 versus 3,200.
	That's not how America goes.
	That's not how things go.
	Beatles or Rolling Stones?
	We had a long debate about it all night, and then at five in the morning, 600,000 people voted for the Beatles.
	And 20,000 votes went from Rolling Stones to Beatles at the exact same time.
	Here's something funny.
	No one ever voted on Dominion voting machines.
	They just magically appeared.
	I like how she has to space out Dominion, D-O-M-I-N-I-O-N.
	In case it gets killed.
	And mandating things by governors and not changing the electoral process democratically is illegal.
	You need to follow the Constitution.
	These people are committing crimes.
	Look at PA is huge.
	Next link.
	After today's...
	Oh, this is Cernovich.
	Yeah.
	Retweeted by Donald Trump.
	Today was a huge fucking day, kiddies.
	After today's Pennsylvania hearing, no person of good faith can claim this was a fair and free election.
	And then this claim about election fraud is disputed.
	That's amazing.
	That's a t-shirt, dude.
	I think that's a t-shirt.
	Bryce, get on it.
	Wait, go back.
	No, not Bryce.
	Your shirts suck.
	They're really great.
	I like them.
	They're really great?
	Are they?
	He made me some other shirts that are great.
	I forgot to get it.
	Go get them.
	I have one with me because I was going to wear that one.
	Let's go get his great merch.
	Go get it all.
	But that would be a cool shirt to make.
	I think if you traced it and hand-wrote it, because like a hard-edged print of something from the internet just looks like a computer did it.
	It's not interesting.
	But if you had a t-shirt and it took what I just showed and I redrew it from scratch so it had like that human element and it kind of spread out and didn't really have definitive lines, that might be cool.
	So what do we got here?
	From Garbage Man, Loser.
	This, get fired, get in trouble, be brave and never stop fighting, written in a font and sort of a structure that is indicative of a 12-year-old who lives in Russia.
	Right?
	And then on the back, we're promoting our old URL.
	Again, it's a stupid square print, boring, ugly, waste of time.
	What's this?
	This is a joke that Ryan likes, Fart Lauderdale.
	I like it too.
	I think it's okay.
	It's supposed to look like a soul virtual from like...
	Yeah, I get it.
	And then people go, that's not fart.
	That's for that's fart.
	I like to do that with that shirt.
	Don't ask me to do anything.
	I'm retired.
	And then I change it to retired.
	So that's fun.
	I wouldn't do that because that's going to fuck shit up.
	Okay.
	That could stop us from that.
	And then McInnis Japrikin 24, mildly amusing.
	As in 2020.
	And then a weird, like, super thick, crinkly print on the back.
	Good for ASMR.
	With lots of, like, dead space here.
	Lots of black.
	The guy's just not creative.
	Look at this.
	Look at the bottom of this just like dead gross film.
	Well, that was in the original photo.
	Yeah, you're supposed to, like, I don't know, improve it?
	So it's got this super waterproof, more waterproof than Ryan's Carhartt sweatshirt material.
	It's weird.
	Kind of pleasant.
	So that's garbage.
	It's tactile.
	Anyway, Pia's huge.
	And then we talk about election flipping.
	I take this shirt off.
	It's Ryan's size, so it's like wearing a baby's clothes.
	But like a ripped hot baby.
	Yeah, sexy baby.
	That'd be a good name for a clothing line, sexy baby.
	That's kind of what baby fat is.
	I guarantee that exists.
	Okay, this is a woman explaining election fraud, so it takes forever, but have faith in her.
	And guys, I went live earlier and I was having some computer issues, so basically what I'm going to do here is record it in case I have video issues again.
	So what I was saying earlier on the live is this gentleman by the name of Brad Barton, giving credit to him, he actually recorded as it was happening live that night on the news.
	I believe it was either election night or the day after.
	And he was going through and recording different things.
	And, well, maybe even on recording it, he noticed it.
	So then he probably rewound it and recorded it.
	So just because he saw, whoa, what just happened here?
	So I'm going to play it, and you're going to see that Trump's numbers are going to switch.
	So right now, you can see at this point, in the game, anyway, he was at, at the time, 1,690, okay, and in some odd votes.
	And Biden was at 1,252 in some odd votes.
	So I'm going to hit play here, and you're going to see that once this scrolls around, it's going to change.
	Okay, I'm going to try and make this quick because I have a client.
	Pennsylvania.
	I don't want to take up.
	He's got a client.
	I'm doing it again.
	I'm doing it again.
	I messed it up, I guess.
	Here we go.
	He's got 1.69 right now.
	See?
	I don't know if you can see it.
	He's got 1.69 right now.
	Are you seeing that?
	Biden's got 1.69.
	Pennsylvania.
	We'll let it play.
	Here we go.
	Wait.
	I'm going to wait it out because it's going to scroll back around to the city.
	I've seen this.
	I'm going to go through to Wisconsin and start alphabetically all over again.
	We saw the thing where the number of Lewis flipped.
	Remember that number?
	1,690.
	I think this is flipped exactly.
	And Biden had 1252, I believe it was.
	Hold on, we're going to go to Michigan next, I believe.
	Yep.
	We're focusing on Pennsylvania.
	That's where the biggest problem is right now.
	So, anybody that's saying this is not true, it absolutely is.
	Look at that.
	Boom.
	1670.
	He was at 1690.
	Then there he is at 1670, 631.
	And Biden goes up to 1372, 495.
	Let's see if he does the actual math.
	Trump went from 1.690589 to the next update, 1.670631.
	That is a loss of 19,958 votes.
	Okay, so I'm going to pause this.
	I have the calculators up.
	I'm going to show you what happens here.
	So Trump's right here, but I'll screw this up.
	We're going to subtract 1,670, okay, minus 1970, 631.
	That's $19,958.
	So we're going to go over here to Biden's calculator.
	I have two calculators up.
	One for Trump, one for Biden.
	All right, we're going to bring Biden's up.
	Just for shits and giggles, we're going to add $19,958 to Biden's, okay?
	Plus $19,958.
	Look at that, okay?
	See that number?
	We added Trump's to Biden's just for shits and giggles.
	Look at that.
	12,72,495.
	12, 72, 44.
	19,958 votes flipped.
	Okay, so tomorrow at Thanksgiving with your crazy sister.
	My whole show tomorrow is dedicated to crazy sisters.
	Just talk about that.
	Again, you're going to see it in the show tomorrow, but it's all about not attacking her and just asking questions.
	I kind of read that women when they're in their early 20s actually make more money than men.
	It's just when they get married and have kids, they start making less money.
	Are you hearing a hum on this mic, by the way?
	We've had some problems with some buzzing.
	Are you hearing it?
	It's like a high-pitched sort of...
	Yeah, I hear like a background hum.
	Like a sizzle.
	Yeah.
	What is that?
	Well, we're supposed to get these cloud filters, so right now you're pushed up pretty loud, otherwise we can't hear you well.
	So that's like gain built into the soundboard, but we need these cloud filter things that give you clean gain without buzzing.
	The thing on top of this?
	No, no, no.
	You plug it into it, and it gets like a preamp that boosts the signal.
	Why don't we have that?
	We're supposed to get it sent.
	Our tech guy was like, hey, somebody said we're going to get these cloud filters.
	We're supposed to get it.
	All right.
	Okay, so let's do the second read.
	We're about to leave the free zone, the fag zone.
	No.
	No fag zone.
	As you know, every Wednesday we do a free show from 9 to 9.30.
	We get out all our reads and then we start taking calls, ideally before that, but we had a lot to say about Election Gate.
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	jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders i wish i could tell you who our new contributor is i'm so excited ryan did an incredible job sweet on her intro she's british and she's debuting her show friday ideally um all right let's take some calls to make sure it works we're gonna tell the folks to get fired and
	get around and no no i want to get a call in before i oh we we give the freebies 9 to 930.
	we're glad to have you welcome aboard hell yeah red pill but uh no, on the reel, though, what we wanted you guys to look up was you guys be talking about these smoke shows.
	So if you want to see a smoke show, look up Alex Curry from Fox Sports West.
	All right, we're on the move.
	Thanks for calling.
	I'm going to start going through calls faster now.
	You get one thing.
	What?
	Are you kidding me, dude?
	Okay, she's better in that one.
	I mean, she looks like a frog.
	A toad.
	You know, I had a religious experience the other night.
	I was watching that movie, The Twelfth Man, and they talk about the Northern Lights.
	And I remember as a young man, tree planting in Northern Ontario, I would get up to go piss at like 3 in the morning and see the northern lights.
	And it's indescribable.
	It is a shower curtain of undulating, beautiful lights of every color in the sky, and it takes up the whole sky.
	It's God saying, I'm here, have faith.
	So I saw it, and it was a biblical experience for me seeing these things.
	Like, that's actually a shitty version.
	You can't film it.
	That's only green.
	There's other colors.
	It's fucking mind-blowing.
	How often does that happen?
	Well, I mean, I've probably seen it.
	We were there for two months.
	I'd probably see it like once a week.
	What?
	It's one of those things.
	It's a whole sky.
	It's bizarre.
	And I was playing, and I have to admit I was drunk when I had this epiphany.
	But I was playing kids trivial pursuit, family trivial pursuit with my kids.
	And you have adult questions for the adults and kid questions for the kids.
	So it's a fair competition because the kids' questions are easy.
	And one of the kids' questions was, what is another name for Aurora Borealis?
	And my youngest boy, who's seven, pushes aside his siblings and he walks right up to me and he goes, Michael Frog Jackson.
	Well, that's a better representation.
	Show that.
	Yeah, that makes more sense.
	There's more colors there.
	But the fact that he said it with so much confidence made me laugh for like three weeks.
	I'd be sitting on the train.
	I'd be parking my car in the city, and I would just think Michael Frog Jackson, and it would make me laugh my fucking head off.
	If I was blue, if I woke up with the horrors in the middle of the night and I was like, at like five in the morning, I would just go, Michael Frog Jackson, Michael Frog Jackson, chill out again.
	And I realized the Northern Lights was a message from God.
	And when I was playing Trivial Pursuit, you know, my family's going through a rough time with all this fucking like, you know, vandalizing our house, whatever, attacking us constantly.
	I felt like God sent in my son and said, go see Michael Frogg Jackson and show him that the Northern Lights are still a very important and spiritual part of your life.
	Yeah, that's what it looks like.
	That's more accurate.
	I know that looks so fake, doesn't it?
	Yeah.
	It looks like someone's heard about Northern Lights and they're doing their interpretation of it.
	But that's not understating it.
	It's that intense.
	It's incredible.
	Yeah, that's cool.
	It takes up the whole fucking sky.
	You're sitting there with your dick in your hands going, what?
	It doesn't move that fast.
	It's much slower than that.
	That must be sped up.
	But yeah, I texted my wife and I said, Johnny's saying Michael Frog Jackson was a message from God.
	And then I passed out with my pants on.
	And so I wake up the next morning with a headache and my wife is like, so how is Michael Frogg Jackson a sign from God?
	And then I had to remember the whole backstory.
	You got to get up there to see them, huh?
	They're one of the best things in the world.
	What?
	Wait, Northern Lights should be visible as far south as Maryland.
	Get out of my town.
	Oh, suck my body.
	You lying-ass son of a bitch.
	I guess you look at good.
	You see that penis that dips up?
	I guess I was on the penis.
	With the penis in your hand.
	Yeah, I had a penis in my hand.
	Maybe that's a sign from God.
	Very penile.
	I can see atheism is unstoppable getting annoyed now.
	I don't really think that that's a penis.
	Oh, shit.
	We got to go.
	So those are the two reads.
	Beard vet, Johnny Apple CBD.
	We're going behind the paywall now.
	No longer free.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Hi, I'm Steven Crowder.
	Shots fired.
	Shots fired?
	Shouldn't you set up the drawing cam?
	Yes.
	But let's take a call.
	New rule tonight.
	No, no more two points.
	You have one thing, and then you're out.
	Tyler.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hey, man.
	All right.
	I got one point.
	I'll make it quick.
	I got a would you rather for you guys.
	Okay, let's do it.
	Would you rather be bald or lose hearing in one of your ears, but you get to choose which ear?
	Easy peasy.
	When you get to be my age, you don't care about music anymore.
	So I would just choose my right ear.
	Deafen my right ear.
	All right.
	That's easier than that.
	What about you?
	I'd definitely not want to go bald, but Yeah, dude.
	When you get older, being bald totally kills your pussy options.
	And, you know, I was talking to a guy who's getting divorced recently, and he goes, yeah, things are going pretty bad.
	I mean, I'm moving on.
	But I've talked to a lot of people who are divorced, and they said that the fact that I have hair is a major game changer in the dating scene.
	Thanks for calling.
	Oh, fair enough.
	I figured with how much.
	I like hanging up on yous.
	We got Eric.
	What's up, Eric?
	Yo.
	Yo, what's up?
	Yo.
	Yo, so I have this theory that I've noticed this pattern, actually, in my theory.
	That all these women are switching to, like, back to Wiccan and all these pagan bullshit things.
	Like, I was in Barnes and Noble the other day, and these two fucking, like, lesbian cows were right next to me talking about how they couldn't get their garden to grow.
	And she's like, you should try Wiccan.
	The other girl's like, yo, Wiccan has too many rules.
	That's why I switched to witchcraft.
	And I was, I'm like, I'm bullshit.
	Fuck.
	Because, like, how fucking retarded do you have to be to believe that witchcraft can fucking make a garden grow?
	It was just insane.
	But I was wondering if you noticed that same pattern that all these girls are moving into this new age spiritual bullshit.
	Yeah, I have noticed that.
	It's the death of religion, right?
	So they have to replace it with something like astrology.
	Some of my favorite barmaids are into astrology.
	And it's not real.
	And I think a lot of us are genetically born to be atheists or born to be believers.
	And God makes it that way.
	But we've ripped that from the public.
	So what do they do?
	They try desperately to reenact it.
	But yeah, you're right.
	It's fucking women.
	What is astrology anyway?
	It's women making up fake science because they're too lazy to do their homework.
	Women are fucking lazy.
	Let's just admit that.
	I just haven't noticed it that much from men, but I see it all the time on dating profiles and shit of women.
	It's fucking annoying.
	All right.
	You guys have a good one.
	I like you.
	I'm starting to think women are lazy.
	Like the whole, I have to work 10 times as hard to lose the weight.
	And I go, I don't know.
	Like, I live with a woman.
	She works out a lot, but not close to as much as me.
	And she eats a lot.
	And she watches a lot of movies in bed.
	Sorry to criticize the Ho-Chunk Indians, but.
	Am I crazy?
	I see what you're saying.
	We got Louise.
	Yo, what's up, guys?
	What's up, dude?
	Dude, I'm going to try to sneak a couple things in here.
	No, no, no.
	You shouldn't have said that.
	You have one thing.
	All right, cool.
	I'll sneak in, too.
	Dude, yesterday, Gavin, or not yesterday, last week, I asked you about Dash Snow.
	And I was curious, did you ever go to the nest?
	That nest thing that they did at that gallery?
	It was like during your time, your heyday.
	Yeah, I mean, I went to the exposition, but I didn't like party with them in that nest.
	They were fucking pissing and shitting in that, getting wasted, doing heroin, doing Coke all night in a pile of ripped-up newspapers.
	Right, yeah, I know, I know.
	I was wondering, I was like, damn, I wonder if Gavin went to that, like, to the, to, like, the debauchery there, you know?
	You know, I was getting kind of old for all that stuff at that point in the game.
	Right, right.
	And the idea of like getting into a nest with Dash, it didn't seem to make sense.
	So, no, I didn't do that.
	Right, right.
	You sound kind of like you're trying to set me up for something.
	Hey, no, no, no, no.
	Here goes my second one.
	So I called about the management.
	No, we're not doing second ones.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	Have a good one.
	He's screaming at the end.
	He's like, no, no, wait, hold on.
	Didn't he sound like he was trying to trip me up or something, like on a lie?
	Maybe he just got the setup and then we didn't allow him to do the punch.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's what it was.
	It was like, oh, yeah, well, I know that you didn't go to the nest.
	Calvin Candy calling about Ryan's AXA.
	The fuck?
	Calvin.
	What's Ryan's AXA?
	A. A. E. No, accent.
	Oh.
	Oh, you're right about fucking Edmonton.
	I just moved here and it's still fucking cold.
	Holy shit, dude.
	It's so cold.
	It's like hemorrhoids.
	Like, before you have hemorrhoids, you're just like, whatever, your butt hurts.
	And then you get hemorrhoids and you go, I'm never trivializing hemorrhoids ever again.
	And when I see people from Edmonton, I go, aho, which is ho-chunk for hello, elder.
	I'm not joking.
	I don't believe you're joking.
	I've heard that before.
	Yeah, it's...
	They use it in the ayahuasca thing.
	They're like, say, aho.
	You're like, okay.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	It's 31 degrees there right now.
	So that's not too bad.
	No, but this summer, the winter has not begun.
	Oh.
	Anyway, what can we do for you?
	So we know like the best English phrase is cellar doors, right?
	Yeah, which is weird.
	And apparently Ryan is the best accent.
	I think that like the best English saying in a Chinese accent is chocolate milk.
	So could Ryan do a quick phrase or like an accented thing of a Chinese guy saying chocolate weird?
	Okay, wait, wait.
	Yes, and thank you for calling.
	Let's, Ryan, before you do that, you have to set the tone.
	So we need to hear you like doing smash to subscribe and being a sneaker, a Chinese sneaker pimp.
	Okay.
	Okay, so this one like a little different.
	Like number one, easy, pretty good.
	You have to sit down.
	Like when you're done, like wait in line for this hot fire to drop, then you have to like refresh yourself with beverage.
	So Tor get yourself some chocolate milk That is pretty cute You got a point the problem with Asians is they don't drink or chocolate milk fucking beer or chocolate milk you're finished yeah like on when we went to visit John you we went to a bar I slammed back like four whiskeys Your weird girlfriend was like I'll have another whiskey sour.
	That's my fucking poison.
	And you're like, no, it's not.
	She likes it.
	She can drink.
	No, she can.
	Oh yeah, I've seen it.
	She can't handle herself afterwards, but she can drink.
	That doesn't make sense.
	All right.
	That's like saying she can swim.
	I mean, she drowns.
	But yeah.
	She goes in the water, don't you?
	She can flop around in the water like nobody's business.
	But yeah, Asians can't drink, but then Jews don't drink.
	And I just think everyone goes like, oh, Jews are doing so well.
	They must have high IQs.
	Yeah, maybe they're just not hungover.
	Maybe the reason we're doing so badly as white guys is because we're fucking in pain every morning.
	We got a would you rather?
	All right.
	Better not involve my children or sex and my wife getting fucked.
	No.
	Alright, so would you rather change your show permanently to one of the following formats?
	Either one, you have to have a litter of puppies up on the desk playing around, just getting all crazy all around you every episode, and you have to care for them or hire someone because they're the most important.
	So I need a bigger desk, but yeah, I got you.
	Okay.
	Or would you rather have Ryan at the desk with you, like a dual anchor Hanni and Combs like type of situation?
	That's pretty easy, dude.
	I'd rather have Ryan at the desk.
	I don't really like dogs.
	I don't give a shit about dogs.
	I don't think that's a good thing.
	Too late.
	Too late.
	I'm done with that.
	Thank you for calling.
	This is a fault with Would You Rathers.
	People alter it.
	And they go, okay, wait, wait, no, I meant dancing like everywhere you go for a year and eating a piece of poo every day this big, not this big.
	You can't change it.
	You have to have worked on your Would You Rather for a long time.
	Yeah, but Ryan's always farting when he's there.
	But Ryan's gay and he's trying to rape you.
	No.
	No, you just did it already.
	I'm curious to see what the twist was going to be.
	Gavin, music.
	Hey, Gavin, this is Taylor from Missouri.
	I just want to say I love that you red-pilled me.
	I used to date this spinster that was five years older than me.
	I asked, get married, and she didn't want to have kids, so I said no.
	Now I'm engaged, so thank you.
	Nice.
	That's great news.
	Ask if you ever fucked around with Max Bemis or Say Anything.
	Their song, Admit It, I feel completely personifies your show.
	By who?
	Hello?
	Admit It by Who?
	What's the band?
	Say Anything.
	The band Say Anything.
	Oh, God, he would.
	By Max Bemis?
	No?
	This is sounding pretty terrible already.
	Max Bemis.
	Okay, well, check it out.
	Thanks for calling.
	This better not suck.
	It already sucks.
	Watch some Vimeo here, okay?
	What is it?
	New Metal?
	I think my daughter's becoming New Metal.
	Sick!
	Yes!
	Despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance and vaguely leftist doctrine of beliefs, you know nothing about artist sex that you couldn't read in any trendy New York Underground fashion magazine.
	mean, I like the sentiment, but I hate that fucking kind of pop-punk thing.
	It ruined punk.
	That's when I split.
	No effects ruined punk for me.
	And face-to-face, as soon as they started trying to sing right, that's not what the thing was.
	It was the sex pistols.
	It was ah, nothing.
	You response to Gavin's 10 Things He Hates About the Jews video.
	Oh, okay.
	Hi, you're literally Hitler.
	Just kidding.
	That's true.
	Yeah, I'm a Jew, and I saw your video a while ago, and as a visual supporter, I have no issue with it.
	I've agreed with a lot of it.
	And I fuck the faggots.
	I just fuck the faggots and say it was a fancy.
	Stupid.
	I cannot hear you.
	He said F gets who thought that was a stupid video.
	Yeah, it was a beautiful video.
	And it was like, oh, he wasn't kidding.
	Really?
	First of all, you haven't seen it.
	Secondly, I'm the guy who did how to fight a baby.
	And thirdly, whoever told you that it was about how Jews are awful or whatever is denying you a cool video that's really funny.
	So they're denying you humor.
	And that pisses me off.
	But you can't tell young millennials this.
	Young millennial men in my neighborhood, they think I'm the devil and they egg my house and fucking attack me on the street, sort of.
	And I just think you fucking pussies are so conformist.
	Like you have the same views as Chris Hayes.
	Imagine being a teenager and you have the same views as someone who's on TV.
	I would be embarrassed if I were them.
	If I had the same views as NPR when I was 14, I would be embarrassed.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Where's that from again?
	Sebastian Manascalco.
	Oh, yeah.
	Alex.
	Hello.
	Good evening.
	All right, can you hear me?
	Yep.
	You're on the air.
	I just wanted to talk about Gavin's views about transgender, specifically how you said that they're mentally ill gays.
	I had my own sort of theory on that, and it's based on disassociative identity disorder.
	I think it might almost be worthy of a green screen.
	So in 1973, there was a book called Sybil where it describes a woman with multiple personality disorder.
	And then after the publication of that book, cases of multiple personality disorder skyrocketed and it appeared through all the world.
	But the thing is that it was discovered later on that that whole book was a fabrication and that the patient described in it didn't actually have multiple personality disorder.
	But since then, this associative identity disorder, which is what it's referred to now, is still a type of disorder that is commonly seen.
	And basically it's still up for debate as to whether or not this thing actually exists.
	And I just wanted to read to you a small excerpt from a journal article which describes it as being a socially crafted artifact that is reinforced by the special attention such a diagnosis evokes.
	Overall, the diagnosis leads to neglect and it's basically what it's saying is that it's a condition that's socially sanctioned, mass delusion of distressing emergency therapists to induce symptoms.
	So for whatever reason, it seems to me like this multiple personality disorder reflects transgenderism.
	And yet people can openly talk about whether or not this is a real thing.
	But when it comes to transgenderism and your views on saying that it's basically just mentally ill-gazed, that's seen as controversial.
	Or, you know, if you were to question whether or not it's a valid thing, then it's seen as controversial.
	But yeah, so in that way, I think it reflects disassociative identity disorder in that it's basically just being suggested by therapists or being encouraged almost.
	Yeah, I think it's just losers.
	It's losers who weren't, no one was paying attention to them.
	So then they said, okay, I'm a thing.
	I'm basically black.
	And if you don't pay attention to me, you're racist or you have some sort of form of prejudice.
	And now all of a sudden they're relevant.
	And now, even if you're arguing against them or for them, they're still in the equation.
	So it's nerd, loser, fat, ugly people, for the most part, pretending they're gay and trying to get into some sort of discussion.
	And no, sorry.
	You're not invited.
	You still suck.
	You're a loser.
	I just think it's striking the amount of similarities between multiple personality disorder or disassociative identity disorder and transgenderism.
	Because on the one hand, the people that believe that multiple personality disorder exists believe that it's based on trauma and that these people have experienced an extreme amount of trauma in their life and therefore their personality splits into multiple parts.
	Whereas the other people who are on the other side of the argument, which is the socio-cognitive model, they believe that it's something that is therapist-induced and you're basically, you know, the therapist or the patient is covertly persuaded to act out particular symptoms that they don't actually exhibit.
	Yeah, in both cases, it just sounds like someone excited to get attention who no one was looking at before.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, right.
	Thanks for calling.
	It's not enough to be gay.
	It's not enough to be guy.
	You know, it's funny he said that we cut him off as he was saying that.
	That's a great idea.
	That's what they say with Black Lives Matter.
	It's not enough to be anti-racist.
	No, it's not enough to not be racist.
	You have to be anti-racist.
	You have to pay attention to my thing.
	God, I wish I could have that same kind of philosophy.
	You need to subscribe to censored.tv or you're somehow committing some sort of a crime.
	If you don't pay attention to me, you're doing something morally wrong.
	Not your own way, God.
	We got, I believe it's Tom.
	Not Lighthouse Tom, but a Tom.
	Okay.
	Let's hope it's not.
	It is Tom.
	Gavin.
	Yes.
	I wanted to tell you that you red-pilled my wife, who voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary in 2016.
	And I wanted to thank you because life has been much better since then.
	Oh, you're welcome.
	That's great news.
	I wish I could red-pill my own wife.
	I think she's just sort of quit.
	She didn't vote this year.
	The left treated her so badly that she's had enough.
	But yeah, that's sort of the point of tomorrow's Thanksgiving show is to say: don't attack women and siblings who don't agree with you.
	Let's slowly lead a horse to water and see if we can make it drink.
	The attacking thing doesn't work.
	It's like fighting a retailer.
	Yeah, that's all I did was play your podcast in the background while we were at home together, and that's what worked.
	Are you going to have babies?
	Yeah, someday.
	Hopefully soon.
	How old are you?
	30.
	And how old is she?
	She is 28.
	Well, we got to get cooking, my friend.
	I know.
	You're absolutely right.
	All right, let's get on it.
	You've got a bass.
	Thanks for calling.
	James.
	James, you're on the air, my friend.
	You are on the air.
	Would that be me?
	Yep.
	You with the girl voice.
	Okay, well, something to your veteran's valor in film, to your badge that you want to earn in veterans' valor.
	What about Erman Wuk's The Winds of War and War and Remembrance?
	Are you a chick or a dude?
	I'm a chick.
	Maybe I sound like a dude.
	No, your name is a dude name.
	Are you Dinesh?
	Do you send in stuff to Gary's mailbag?
	Perhaps.
	Yeah, that's right.
	I recognize that voice.
	He hates you.
	Yeah, Gary hates you, but Gary.
	Why does Gary hate you so much?
	Is it the mask?
	It's my lips.
	I don't.
	Oh, yeah, he said her lips are awful and her hair is awful.
	I was like, well, it's a wig.
	She was wearing a mask and a wig and stuff.
	Does he think that the wigs are real?
	I don't know what he thinks.
	It's odd.
	It's odd.
	But he complained about my lips before.
	Anyway, Veterans Valor in film.
	Have you seen The Winds of War and War in Remembrance?
	What's it called, sir?
	The Winds of War.
	The Winds of War?
	It's a novel.
	The Winds of War.
	It's a mini-series with Robert Mitchum and Polly Bergen, but my husband loves it.
	My husband's a veteran.
	And he loves the series The Winds of War in War and Remembrance.
	And to me, you can't earn film valor if you've not seen this series and read Herman Wooks' books as well, too.
	That's actually kind of disrespectful for you to talk to someone who is a war movie vet and tell them what kind of valor we deserve and what we don't deserve.
	You should be thanking me for my service and then quietly stepping back.
	Okay, Gavin, thank you for your service.
	I tried to call on Veterans Day, but I couldn't get through, and my husband wouldn't call for me because he's a veteran.
	Yeah, there was a lot of calls from vets calling a fellow vet on Veterans Day.
	So, of course, a mere mortal couldn't get through.
	Sorry, one more time.
	What's this?
	Herman Wuk, The Winds of War and The War.
	Yeah, H-E-R.
	Yeah, The Winds of War and War and Remembrance.
	It's a video, it's a mini, two different miniseries.
	There's Winds of War is the first, and War and Remembrance is the second one.
	And it's several hours long, but you need to watch them.
	Okay, I will check it out.
	I'm not sure my jacket could handle any more medals.
	It's replete at this point.
	I'm going to have to start putting them on my shoulders, but I will check it out.
	I mean, Jesus, look, I don't want to brag.
	A thing in the military is, thanks for calling, by the way, we don't brag.
	But just this week, I've seen both Recon and The 12th Man.
	And I'm not looking for thanks.
	I'm not looking for accolades.
	It's just something that us guys who watch war movies do.
	You know what the thing I regret the most when I'm done a movie is that I've left my brothers behind who can't see this movie.
	Sir, red or right, five degrees.
	Deep.
	Ready to release.
	What a funny mustache that is, eh?
	Like, even devoid of context, I feel like if I came from outer space and I landed on Earth and someone had a square mustache, I'd go, dude, I don't know a lot about Earthlings, but what the fuck are you doing?
	Why do you have a square mustache?
	And it could be Hitler.
	It could be fucking Charlie Chaplin.
	I believe this man is named Parker.
	Wait, I'm trying to click.
	It's not working.
	Here we go.
	Parker.
	Hey, what's up, Gav?
	What's up, dude?
	What's up?
	Uru.
	I had a...
	I'm a fellow Foreskinner.
	Right on.
	I was wondering how long should I wait to go to the doctor after I ripped it?
	Should I, like, power through this and just throw on the Maquel 4?
	Or should I, like, go tomorrow?
	How old are you?
	19.
	Yeah, dude, I had your exact same problem when I was 19.
	And I had a Muslim doctor who told me I need to be circumcised.
	So if you go to a doctor...
	Yeah, no, I'm not doing that.
	I read the book.
	That's why I was asking.
	Oh, okay.
	So, like, is it your fresnellum?
	Um, yeah, it's like the bottom part.
	This is the fresnellum.
	So, this is the head, and then this thing meets, like, right here.
	Right there.
	Correct.
	So, that tore.
	Correct.
	And how long ago did it tear?
	Week.
	Yeah, dude.
	I could probably get sued for this.
	So this is officially not medical advice, but I would say do not go to the doctor.
	And just like slowly, like, don't beat off if you can handle that at your young age.
	And have a lot of baths.
	I mean, I'm a proud boy, so I'm no angst.
	Oh, good.
	And soak it and give it like three or four weeks.
	I know that's terrible, but that's a situation you're in, my friend.
	It's Sherpeach, whatever they're going to fucking do.
	Polysporin, like, just...
	All right.
	And like, try not to get a boner, even.
	Try to let it heal.
	And when you finally do go back with the lady, go like insanely slow with like an entire tube of Vaseline.
	Like, be super duper careful.
	What are you going to do?
	Yeah, you're in a shitty situation, my friend.
	Yeah, it fucking sucks.
	It's scary, too.
	You got to clean like a motherfucker.
	Well, I don't think you do because no one's touching it, so you might as well not even peel it back.
	Let it rot.
	No, well, I mean, I'm just worried about like germs and shit, you know?
	I don't want to get an infection.
	You turn around!
	You're not going to get an infection.
	Jesus Christ.
	They invented these things a long time ago.
	That's true.
	I have a fucking immune system like a mule, so it's okay.
	Yeah, you'll be good.
	All right, hang in there, buddy, but don't touch your dish for like three weeks.
	Alright, thanks, man.
	But fighting.
	F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G.
	I fucking spelled fighting wrong.
	I spelled fightning like lightning.
	Ooh.
	Shit.
	F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G.
	Christopher from Montana.
	What's up, Chrissy?
	Chrissy Pooyaya?
	Fucking Chrissy.
	Fucking Chrissy.
	You're coming in great.
	What the fuck, Christopher?
	Who was the situation?
	You almost fucking killed your kid there.
	That's why I fucking strangled you.
	What?
	What the fuck?
	It's your fucking dog, Christopher.
	Well, he's a situation.
	I'm actually from California, but I heard your situation.
	I heard when you went to Montana, and I got really excited.
	And I went there.
	Went to Big Sky.
	You did?
	Yeah.
	Wait, you went to Big Sky because I went there?
	Oh, I went like a month ago.
	It was just about the snow.
	Like, I went to Big Sky, and I went to Yellowstone, too.
	And I got to see it before it snowed.
	And wow, it was snowing.
	You got to see it before it snow and all the snow.
	Homeboys cannot like edit.
	What are you talking about?
	I sent an email called Big Sky.
	It has two pictures in a video of some of the stuff I saw there.
	I mean, like you said, really good scenery, mountains all around.
	One thing that I noticed is all of the bodies of water are wonderful there.
	I guess once you get far enough from industrial areas, you get untouched waters.
	It just looks, all of it looks beautiful to me at least.
	Got like that pinkish red tinge of the foliage and just the clear water, I guess.
	Yeah, I want to go skiing there this winter, but I'm worried that my kids won't be able to go to school after they get back because of all these draconian rules.
	But yeah, it is an incredible place, and I totally understand why when you tell people that you love it in Montana, they go, don't tell your friends.
	So I guess I told my, you're my friend.
	Yeah, no, I totally got that.
	They didn't fuss me out that I was like in California really.
	One guy, I told him and he got a little less talky.
	He was like very friendly.
	And I was like, yeah, I'm coming from California.
	And he's got like, I was kind of quiet and less talky.
	He dropped the subject.
	I totally understood.
	That's cool.
	I'm glad you had a good time.
	We should all just open a commune there.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	All right, buddy.
	Thanks for calling.
	Yeah, thank you.
	Look how beautiful that is.
	And I was trying to explain to my wife, I was like, I know it's stupid to say there's a big sky.
	Like, we live near the water, and on a clear day, you can see a lot of sky.
	But maybe because you're on a mountain, and that day is obviously kind of cloudy, so you can't see it.
	But the sky goes on forever.
	It's amazing to see.
	You feel so trivial, but at the same time, so blessed.
	And then if you have any doubts, your son comes over and says, Michael Frog Jackson.
	He doesn't know who Michael Jackson is.
	Michael Jackson is not part of our life.
	We don't discuss Mike in the house.
	Mikey!
	We don't listen to fucking beat it in the house.
	So the fact that he even knows the name Michael Jackson is weird.
	Nick.
	What's up, Nick?
	Nick the prick?
	Hey.
	No.
	Hey, I wanted to ask you about something you said yesterday.
	You said something about 9-11.
	If you're a 9-11 conspiracy guy, would you go up to a 9-11 victims family person and bring it up to them?
	I think you were talking about Vietnam and it is appropriate to talk to military people like that.
	And first of all, yes, because, for example, Bill Doyle, the leader of one of the largest 9-11 victims' families groups, friends of Alex Jones, or he went on the Alex Jones show back in the day, said that more than about 50% of the victims' families think it was at some level that there was complicity.
	Not necessarily that it was totally an inside job, but they let it happen or something.
	And also, what you said sounds like an appeal to emotion, the same thing that you get mad at, you know, when say, what if it happened to your daughter?
	It's like, you're just trying to make me emotional.
	Yeah, I would bring it up to 9-11 victims' families members.
	I think you should know what's happening.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	I'm trying to put your money where your mouth is.
	And you have to separate all the ambiguity and look at the real person who was there and say, okay, I don't think that your husband died just because of radical terrorists.
	I think that George W. Bush was part of it.
	That's a brave thing to say, and you should be able to say it to someone who lost their spouse there.
	Well, I wouldn't say it like that because that wouldn't get me anywhere, but I would talk about it with them.
	I would definitely bring it up.
	If somebody said they were 911, I'd say, well, what do you think happened that day?
	Do you think it was 19 guys?
	Do you think the government knew?
	I would bring it up.
	What do you think?
	What do you think happened that day?
	The buildings were blown up.
	Look at what they used it to do.
	Who had the means and the motive?
	You're friends with Alex Jones.
	Just talk to Alex Jones.
	Ask him why he thinks it's an inside job.
	I don't know why you haven't had like a multi-hour long thing.
	Bring him to free speech TV.
	What is it?
	The bar thing you do.
	You probably do it for free.
	Just talk it out with Alex Jones.
	Okay, well, you tell me.
	So the buildings had explosives in them?
	Yes.
	Did planes...
	Did planes hit the towers?
	Yeah.
	Well, something hit them.
	I don't know if they were like, you know, drones, disguised planes, and they landed the regular planes somewhere else or what happened to the pilots because I think they're remote controlling the buildings.
	I don't think they actually used Islamic.
	So it was giant drones that were the size of a plane.
	Potentially.
	I don't know how they did that.
	I've heard that they landed the real planes at military bases and killed the passengers and then flew something in.
	How'd they kill the passengers?
	Guns.
	And they went into like a big mass grave?
	I don't know about that.
	I heard that from a guy.
	Well, that part.
	I just want to say, you know, people saying, how could they rig the buildings with that?
	You know how much explosives it would take to build.
	No, I'm more interested in these planes landing and then people, like 300 people being lined up and shot into a mass graves and then buried and no one spilling the beans about that.
	Well, I interviewed a guy, Michael Aquino, who's pretty high up in this stuff.
	He says they were landed at base and shot.
	That was one of the things that they said in that loose change documentary that they were probably landed at military base.
	Doesn't that sound weird to you?
	Yeah.
	I don't know about that part.
	I've never looked into that part because I feel like it's outside of my what I can verify.
	I can see the buildings come down.
	I don't think bin Laden could have died.
	Bin Laden, you know, right after 9-11, said that.
	I want to know why people are being rounded up and shot into holes in America, and no one is talking about it.
	Like, I don't care about not verifying.
	That would become my number one obsession of my whole life.
	Okay, well, for me, it's more about the demolishing of the buildings because I can't, how can I look into that?
	How can you look into the demolishing of the buildings?
	That seems equally hard to verify.
	Oh, well, at least I have footage of it.
	There's a bunch of architects and engineers that say that think about it.
	How much jet fuel was in those plans compared to how much explosives it would take to bring down a building like that?
	Do you think, like, imagine, one thing I would love to do is if they could just rebuild like three stories of it, fly a plane into that thing and see what happens.
	You sound like you're taking a quote from a loose change type documentary and just repeating it verbatim.
	I'm not.
	So you came up with the three floors idea?
	Say wow.
	You came up with the three floors idea all by yourself?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I think other people have come up with that idea, though.
	It's, you know, it's awesome.
	It doesn't sound like your idea.
	Recreate it.
	I think it's a lot of people's idea.
	But just talk to Alex Jones.
	You know, why do you think he believes it?
	Yeah, why do you keep sending me to Alex Jones?
	This is your belief system.
	Because he's like, he was the first person.
	He said before.
	It's like when I talk to people in LA and they go, you've got to talk to Bill Maher.
	Like they want to pass me off to the expert.
	Well, I think that Alex Jones is many levels above Bill Maher.
	And he started the 9-11 truth thing.
	He said before 9-11 that they were going to hit the World Trade Center and used Bin Laden as a Patsy in like July of 2001.
	Okay.
	So it was giant drones that went into the World Trade Center.
	The planes were landed.
	The people were shot dead.
	Seems easier just to drive it.
	That's what I've heard as a plausible explanation for that part because I don't think that they would trust Islamic hijackers.
	You've got the buildings rigged with explosives.
	You're not going to be like, well, I hope the hijackers pull it off.
	Right.
	How did they put the explosives in the building?
	Like, people snuck in the building or pretended to be janners and put in like...
	What's that called?
	That Vegemite stuff?
	Thermite?
	This is from Loose Change, but I think it's true.
	I think George Bush's cousin or something, Neil Bush was the head of security there, and there was these weird power downs where the buildings were completely evacuated a couple of weeks before.
	And that's one idea of when they could have possibly put the explosives in or the incendiaries or whatever.
	So George Bush's brother or cousin?
	Cousin something.
	Neil Bush, I think what his name is at the World Trade Center.
	Worked as security at the World Trade Center.
	Okay.
	Well, thanks for calling.
	Let's look that up.
	I'm open to ideas.
	One, two, three.
	Neely Bushy for these type of drawings don't usually sell very well.
	My like doodles.
	Did Neil Bush do security for the World Trade Center?
	I'm open to anything by the way.
	I don't need a shit on that guy.
	9-11 security courtesy of Marvin Bush.
	Marvin P. Bush, the president of the Space Center.
	What source is that?
	What really happened.com.
	Yeah.
	The history of the government doesn't want you to learn.
	I need a better source.
	I've never been certain about how I feel about that old deal.
	Well, I'll tell you what.
	I'm open to the possibility that George W. Bush allowed it to be.
	There was indications that there could be an attack, and he either didn't take it seriously or thought, it'd be good for me if they did attack.
	I'm okay with that.
	I was on television saying that Bin Laden's a CIA asset and looks like he'll attack New York.
	Saying, call Washington, tell him to call off the attack.
	Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
	I'm so glad that you could join us today for this Wednesday, July 25th, 2001 broadcast.
	Tyranny is enveloping the globe, and the United States is a shining jewel the globalists want to bring down.
	And they will use terrorism as the pretext to get it done.
	So that's coming up in the second half of the show.
	Very important information.
	I'm going to put the call out that you call the White House and tell them, look, we've seen the news stories that you've wanted to blow things up, that you have blown things up, and that you're saying that 4 million of us are going to die and we need martial law and the Associated Press.
	And one of your little drills you had.
	And that we're aware of who the terrorists are if you pull this.
	This can stop this Hitlerian Reichstag event.
	I want to put the toll-free number up for Congress.
	And I won't want you to believe Alex Jones.
	I want you to go get these news stories off my website.
	I want you to call these major newspapers.
	I want you to find out these statements were true by the White House about preparing for martial law.
	And I want you to let them know that if there is any terrorism, we know who to blame.
	The point is, if any terrorism comes, it's from this government.
	And if there was an outside threat like a bin Laden, who was a known CIA asset in the 80s, running the Mujahideen War, and whose family builds all the military bases over in Saudi Arabia right now, it's this with the board of Iridium satellite.
	He's the boogeyman they need in this Orwellian phony system.
	All right.
	I want the White House numbers up there now.
	I will have Alex on the show when I build the new studio.
	Should be ready soon.
	We're getting the plans on Friday.
	And it would be fun.
	Dude, I could have a fucking 50-hour conversation with Alex.
	This is Trump saying about my apartment as people jumped from the Twin Towers on 9-11.
	I have a window in my apartment that specifically was aimed at the World Trade Center because of the beauty of the whole downtown Manhattan.
	And I watched as people jumped, and I watched the second plane come in.
	While people were seen jumping from the towers that day, Trump's apartment in Midtown is roughly gauge-style tailgate.
	You know what that means?
	It's roughly what?
	That means football gate.
	What did she say?
	Were seen jumping from the towers that day?
	Trump's apartment in Midtown is roughly four miles from where the World Trade Center's towers stood.
	Many people jumped, and I witnessed it.
	I watched that.
	Trump also stubbornly defending his widely debunked claim that there were large crowds.
	I saw the other plane hit.
	I was in the Lower East Side.
	That was three miles from the World Trade Center.
	So I don't think she's correct.
	Midtown is not four miles from the World Trade Center.
	Let's look it up.
	On maps.
	The fact-checking of these fucking lazy cunts is so bad.
	So go to World Trade Center.
	Here, I'll do it on my phone.
	It's now the Freedom Tower.
	Right?
	Freedom Tower, and then Midtown.
	So you change my location to Midtown.
	Midtown, New York.
	And the distance is seven miles.
	Well, let's go walking.
	Walking is...
	What's the distance?
	Go.
	It's cute, it's at night now, because it's nighttime.
	Overview.
	One hour, 22 minutes.
	What the fuck?
	Show me the amount of time it is.
	This is annoying.
	God damn it.
	How fucking long is it?
	Right here, you got one mile.
	One mile?
	No, I'm...
	Here's the legend.
	Here's the legend, and it says this is how much one mile is.
	So let's see, there's one.
	Ryan, it says 4.7 miles.
	Two?
	Look at the gray there.
	Well, then where would it be?
	It's three miles.
	It's three miles straight.
	Look, I know, but it just says...
	Oh, I see what you're saying.
	Yeah, I just did my...
	It has the one market.
	Look up 174 Ludlow Street.
	To One World Trade, right?
	Yeah.
	174 Ludlow.
	I can dox myself, unless you get a time machine.
	Okay, and then walking distance.
	Two miles.
	That's real close.
	So it's a two-mile walk, so I was probably like a mile and a half, if you were to straighten that out as the crow flies.
	So I was a mile and a half.
	He was four and a half miles away.
	Doesn't sound like a lie to me.
	And he never said he saw them.
	And what a weird thing to focus on, too.
	Like, he didn't see them jumping Off live, he saw them on TV.
	He only saw the plane hit.
	I watched the plane hit.
	So I'm all for trutherism.
	I'm all for skepticism.
	I don't take anything for granted.
	But don't tell me, don't start getting into planes not hitting the things.
	I watched with my own eyeballs from my roof.
	I saw the first tower on fire, and I saw the second plane go through the sky, and I watched with my own eyes.
	It hit the tower.
	Got it?
	Felt like Johnny Rotten there.
	I just had my penis bitten by a flea because I was taking in squirrels.
	Do you know that happened to him?
	I did not.
	Yeah.
	He was being too generous with squirrels.
	And I guess he had his penis out, and one of them bit him.
	Sheesh.
	That's pretty rotten, Johnny.
	Speaking of Johnny, we got Jonathan on the line.
	Frankly.
	What's up, dude?
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	Hey, guys.
	I guess it's kind of a suggestion for the circular filing cabinet there, but hear me out.
	I personally think it would be hilarious if some of the artists out there could find her, even if that's possible.
	But Mikey, our friend, it would be abjectly hilarious if we could do a remake of that with her at the door and Ryan answering the door and her hollering trying to get Gavin to let her get a subscription for this funny idea?
	The same chick?
	So we just switch out Ryan with the Mexican?
	Yeah, and have her trying to get a year of subscription to censored TV.
	And who's she?
	The same girl?
	Yeah, if the autists could find her and track her down.
	Oh, if we could actually get the real girl.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Because we did find her, and she had a bunch of head tattoos and was a weird lesbian.
	Did you know that?
	That does ring a bell.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Great suggestion.
	We really enjoy it.
	Now we've got Chris.
	I don't know if it's the booze, but I spend so much time on this show doing the shittiest drawings I'm deeply ashamed of.
	And they don't really sell.
	Hey.
	Like, the auction isn't doing that great.
	What's up, dude?
	Hey, Gavin.
	I got another suggestion for the suggestion box.
	Oh, great.
	I'm cold, and I need to warm myself up with some cool flames.
	Ryan gets his own show.
	Yeah, we tried that.
	It was called Ryan's Mailbag.
	It was a shocking catastrophe.
	He talked for 15 minutes about his shitty taste in music, like Gloria Estevan and fucking Ingy Malmstein.
	He was on watching.
	It had more ratings than some of the other shows on the network, which was very surprising.
	Like what?
	It beat out Friday Nights Alright.
	It beat out some other interesting shows at the time.
	And we were all shocked.
	And I remember I was like, wow, it still sucks.
	And I don't want it on the site.
	Nor does anybody else.
	Because it's an embarrassment.
	However, it did have better views than some of the more premium shows on the network.
	Some of the more expensive shows.
	Is that true?
	Yeah.
	Like, was it the debut of Friday Nights All White?
	Do you know that?
	It was out for a while.
	Wow.
	It had found its niche.
	Yeah.
	Well, maybe it's because we always talked about how terrible it is.
	Maybe.
	It's like a cringe hate watch.
	Yeah, like Gary Delabonte's book sells like hotcakes because they keep talking on Stern about how terrible it is.
	That's amazing.
	Yeah, I have no urge to do it.
	I have time.
	No time, exactly.
	I mean, I thought about a game show type thing where I do a bunch of different little on-the-street things.
	I got some pretty good concepts.
	Like, one is do like a cash cab, reverse cash cab button Uber.
	So I take an Uber and I quiz them, and depending on how good they do, I give them their reward and a tip.
	Could be fun.
	Along with.
	I've asked some questions like, what's eight times seven?
	56.
	So I'll go to Union City, New Jersey.
	They only speak Spanish there, and I speak a little Spanish.
	So I'm going to do an English quiz, and I'm going to start making it harder and harder.
	And so first they win, like, maybe $3, and then, like, for $100, what does inquisitive mean?
	Oh, I don't know.
	And it's to teach them a lesson that they're better off learning English because all the opportunities.
	Yeah.
	I'm sure they would go.
	That was a wake-up call.
	Thank you.
	I am going to get a textbook now and try to get my head out of my arse.
	They're always saying arse.
	Those Mexicans.
	All right.
	Bye.
	Oh, one more thing.
	Nope.
	That's so rude.
	Oh, one more thing.
	Nope.
	Rude, huh?
	That reminds me of our new show we're announcing on Friday.
	Don't do it there.
	Well, couldn't you?
	No.
	No, don't.
	Done.
	Ow!
	No, babe!
	What?
	Babe, you're on.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Sorry about that.
	It's alright.
	No problem, dude.
	Everyone makes mistakes.
	Anyway, we're gonna.
	Me and my new wife are gonna watch the video version tomorrow.
	Wondering if we can get a greatest hits request.
	I remember I couldn't find it.
	You tell us how to make a boy.
	We're trying to make babies and we're trying to make a boy.
	So I'm wondering if you could do a quick relapse of that for us.
	Relapse.
	Yeah, no problem.
	So, basically, the premise of making a girl is a boy or a girl is getting the sperm to the ovaries.
	For some reason, the sperm that makes girls is very ambitious.
	You can fucking jizz out the window right now.
	The sperm will go ding-dong, ring your buzzer, crawl back up the stairs, find your wife when she's asleep, go up her leg, go in her cunt, and make a girl.
	Well, with the boys, you have to take the sperm and drop it at the front door like an orphan who is in a basket and will die in the next four hours of hypothermia unless you pick them up.
	So you drop it off at the door, you ring the doorbell, and you run away.
	That's true.
	So how do you do that?
	Well, you do standing doggy.
	So it's not normal doggy.
	You're standing up as you do it.
	And instead of going like eh, you're going more like up and down.
	And you're going plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge.
	And going so deep that the top of your dick is touching her cervix.
	Plunge, plunge, plunge.
	And she's, meanwhile, she's like, oh.
	Like, it's not a very friendly lovemaking.
	And then when you jizz, your full downward plunge, right?
	And you empty your seminal vesicles into her ovaries.
	And then you hold it there, still standing.
	It's primal.
	Fill her up.
	She's drenched in jizz.
	And then you don't pull out.
	Now you can finally relax because it's quite a workout.
	It's good for your core.
	You collapse on top of her like two collapsing lawn chairs.
	And now you lie down.
	You're both flat like a used mousetrap.
	And you lay with her there for like 30 seconds with your dick 108% in her vagina.
	And give it like 1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000, 4.
	Give it a good like 15 seconds.
	And then you can pull out and lie back and go, oh, I think that one took.
	It's not a joke.
	Right on.
	Thank you for your advice.
	Hello, you got a bass.
	No, no hands.
	Goodbye.
	Thanks for calling.
	Cello, you got a bass?
	Somebody want to talk about drugs.
	What you want to talk about drugs for?
	What you know about drugs?
	Hey, Druggo.
	Smokeo, you're on the line.
	You're on the air, sir.
	Sup, fuck.
	What's going on, guy?
	So, so, Gavin, I want to fuck you with my heels on, first of all.
	That's happening.
	Okay.
	My favorite drug, I'm sorry, I'm crying from laughing from this previous expose on how to make a boy, but I want to say my favorite drug is LSD, and I loved your book, Death of Cool.
	I want to know one of your most memorable experiences about doing acid.
	Oh, shit.
	I mean, there's acid and shrooms, they both sort of blend together.
	I remember, okay, I got a good acid story.
	This isn't in the book, I don't think.
	But we were in Montreal, me and this dude Adam, and we were micro-dosing and doing Coke.
	So we had Swiss Army scissors, and we had the square, and we're just taking like the tiniest pieces off and taking them and partying and having fun.
	And it gives you this false sense of energy, and you can destroy the world, and everything's going to be awesome.
	So Montreal goes late.
	Montreal goes to 4 a.m.
	And around like 3, we were totally fucking ready to rock.
	Like 3 felt like 3 p.m., not 3 a.m.
	And I go, let's go to Toronto.
	And he's like, yeah, why not?
	I go, I got a car.
	There's this black chick who likes me there.
	Her roommate knows you and thinks you're cute, blah, blah, blah.
	We'll go there.
	We'll fuck them.
	We'll party all night.
	We'll fucking get wasted.
	Whatever.
	Now, Toronto is four hours at least from Montreal.
	Maybe five.
	So if you want to leave at 3 a.m., you're going to roll into town at 7 fucking a.
	So we're driving through blizzards.
	And you know, you drive through a blizzard and the snow is doing that thing where it scoops up.
	You know that thing?
	Yeah.
	It's hitting the air and it's like going, and you kind of get hypnotized by it, especially if you're wasted.
	We're drinking, doing Coke, micro-dosing.
	And I'm seeing these snowflakes go, whoosh, whoosh, whoop.
	It's nighttime.
	That's not nighttime.
	So all you see is your lights make the snow goop, weep, weep.
	And so we drive and it's fun and we're laughing.
	And, you know, you just drive slower if it's a blizzard, whatever.
	So we roll into Toronto at around 8 a.m.
	Now that's too casual.
	It's much more intense.
	It's like zoom, zoom, zoom.
	And they're not ready to rock.
	It's 7.30 in the morning and they have no room.
	It's a one-bedroom apartment.
	One girl's sleeping on a pullout.
	The other girl's in her bedroom.
	So Adam, I think, sleeps on their couch.
	Maybe with the girl.
	I slept in the car, in the back seat, with a blanket over my head.
	And every time I pulled the blanket back, I'd see local kids who were looking in the window.
	It was a fucking catastrophe.
	And the moral of the story is...
	I will build a great, great wall.
	Yeah, you make dumb decisions when you're high, especially on acid.
	Although, there is no joy at the tavern as great as the road there too.
	And that drive was one of the funnest moments of my life.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Who's next?
	Yeah, who next?
	Who next, fuck?
	What motherfuck is next?
	Mike?
	Mike, you're on the line?
	No, I was just wondering if, you know, you talk a lot about the friends that you had that turned their backs on you, you know, because of politics or Trump or whatever.
	And I was just wondering if any of those ever came back and realized they were wrong.
	None.
	They never do.
	That'll never happen.
	And if you have lost friends to all this Trumpism, don't hold your breath.
	But, you know, I was talking to Joe Biggs about this the other night because I had been talking to Faith Goldie about stuff.
	And she's such an ironclad pal.
	And I had her back when all her shit hit the fan.
	And she knows that, you know, she has my back.
	And I just thought, yes, it sucks that you lose your pals with this kind of bullshit.
	And it's disheartening to know that the people you thought were cool people are actually just fucking pussies and would happily throw you under the bus if, you know, it was a war situation, like with the Nazis, and someone,
	and you said, can I stay here?
	The Nazis are looking, they'd be like, fuck you.
	They would not have your back.
	So the beauty of this kind of separating the wheat from the chaff culture that we live in is, yes, you realize your best friend when you were in high school is a fucking loser cuck, but you end up with this like Transformers team of ironclad robots who will stand by you no matter fucking what.
	And that's a good feeling.
	So it sucks at first.
	It's sort of like being in hoarders where they throw out all your stuff and you're like, that guy could have been a pal one day.
	That guy, I might have hung out with him.
	I kind of like that guy.
	Oh, we went to a bar once.
	And the hoarders people go, no, we're separate.
	We're throwing all of these shitty friends in the dumpster.
	And then you're stuck with like real dudes who want to hear you out, who you feel comfortable around, who you feel safe around.
	And that's a privilege in many ways.
	Anyways, thanks for calling.
	This is Jay Packer.
	Is the Jay for fudge?
	Yo, this is Jay Packer.
	I got a hot or not.
	Ryan's mom.
	Ouch.
	What's that?
	Oh, it's a hot or not?
	So we're trying to decide if Ryan's mom is hot or not?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm not really into that subject.
	Thanks.
	Yeah, me neither.
	Yeah, that's not a good idea.
	You weirdo.
	Goodbye.
	Thanks for calling.
	Let's do your mom, dick.
	Liam.
	Let's go speed doll for the next 25 minutes.
	What's up, Liam?
	Hey, G-Dog.
	I've always been jealous of your early years as a punk rocker, and I know you've said that you believe a mosh pit is healthy for a young man, and I think as a whole, punk rock let you be part of something and gave you an identity.
	It's important for adolescents.
	So do you have any scoops on groups or genres that are comparable to the old punk scene today?
	Yeah, Proud Boys.
	It's fucking fun, dude.
	I mean, you see that the media trashes the group and says that everything's evil.
	But, you know, you hang out with these guys at Westfest and it's some of the best jokes, some of the best fights, some of the best everything I've ever had.
	And it's cool hanging out with people who are also being terrorized.
	Like I met a dude at the last Westfest and he said, yeah, every time my dog barks, I walk over to the window ready to roll.
	And I was like, and he goes, the thing I like about Westfest is no one understands that.
	Like most people hear their dog bark and they just go, okay, I guess we got some mail.
	But every time I hear my dog bark, I'm that Malcolm X picture where he's pushing back the curtains with the gun.
	And this guy felt the same way.
	He's like, it's nice to be around other people who feel equally, you know, down for whatever.
	Anyway, give the Proud Boys a jingle.
	Next.
	Give the PBs a J. It's not funny.
	I hate when you do that.
	We got Sergio.
	Sergio.
	Hello?
	Hi, Sergio.
	Hey.
	Yo, what up, man?
	I'm a senior in high school.
	I'm that Trump sign guy.
	I don't know if you remember that.
	Oh, he put all the signs outside of the high school?
	Like, like 45 of them.
	Remember?
	Oh, yeah, he had a million signs.
	That was cool.
	Yeah, well, I'm a senior, and so this is my last year, and I'm really torn about college.
	But the thing is, I know what you say about trade school, but I really don't want to have a trade.
	I really don't know what to do.
	I don't really want to be a plumber.
	And it's not like a thing or anything.
	But what about a carpenter?
	What about an electrician?
	What about any kind of general contractor?
	I think it's...
	I just, I'm not that kind of guy.
	I guess I know you say about, you know, there's creative things in it, but I really don't want to just be a blue collar worker.
	Have you ever had a job?
	White-collar worker.
	Yeah, yeah, I make a cook.
	And you don't want to pursue that?
	No, I hate it.
	So what are you going to take in school then?
	What's that?
	What are you going to take in school?
	You'll probably laugh.
	Sounds like I will.
	Music.
	Music.
	Like classical music?
	Yeah, maybe music theory or music production.
	Well, that's just fucking retarded.
	Like, you can do that on YouTube.
	You could.
	You really could.
	Yeah.
	everything that your school can provide for you is on YouTube.
	Why would you pay anyone money?
	Definitely not theory.
	Music production, maybe, but I failed music theory, and I'm a guitar god, so it doesn't really help you.
	You know?
	Well, I'm torn.
	I don't want to end up on the waysides of a troubled artist living on the street.
	Like, you did that.
	You became something without college, without a trade.
	Yeah.
	You know, it's not like you became a plumber.
	No.
	No, I ended up in media.
	But that had zero to do with school.
	0.000.
	I think Cook has a great job.
	Well, how do I get out of the normal workforce of, you know.
	You basically got to do a bunch of different jobs and see what starts clicking.
	Like tomorrow I talk about Shackelford's rules, and you'll see that on the Thanksgiving episode.
	But basically, trial and error.
	Like, see what stimulates you.
	And the only way to do that is to do a bunch of different jobs.
	And if music stimulates you, what do you do?
	You play guitar?
	Yeah, I play a couple instruments.
	I'm better than Ryan.
	No, you're not.
	Do you rap?
	You rap, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You're better at me than rap.
	No, I don't.
	You do vocals?
	I remember that.
	No, I don't.
	Oh, okay.
	No.
	You guys are putting out music.
	Put out music.
	And then be a cook.
	You're not a guitar player than Ryan.
	You're not.
	But anyway, so.
	And that's cute.
	And I like the confidence.
	But no, you should honestly be a cook.
	A lot of cooks, a lot of people that do music and fun shit are cooks, and then they just make their money that way.
	And it's a bunch of outsiders.
	Of course it sucks.
	It stinks.
	You go home all stinky.
	I mean, everything sucks.
	I was at the gym today boxing, and it was like, I hate this.
	Like, I hate hitting the heavy bag.
	I hate doing weights.
	I hate it.
	And then I feel like a million bucks after.
	Everything sucks.
	That's part of being a man.
	Yeah, no, I get that too.
	But it's not the kind of suck that you go home and you're like, well, I feel good.
	Or you get your check and you're like, well, I feel good.
	It's kind of like, that sucks.
	And then you get your check and you go, oh, that wasn't worth it.
	Okay, I understand that.
	And that's true.
	You got me there.
	But this whole idea that you're going to take musical theory in school and that will lead to anything.
	No, no, no.
	Music production is really...
	There's a school in my town that is one of the best schools in the country for production.
	For production, for making albums.
	The industry collapsed this year.
	And nobody, my girlfriend just said everybody that was in music programs, none of them could find jobs because the industry collapsed this year.
	Because everyone can do it themselves.
	You could learn it from home.
	You could totally learn it from home for free.
	Don't go to...
	Look, I'll accept your anti-trade articles.
	I mean, arguments.
	I'll accept everything you said, but you haven't given me an argument for going to school.
	Yeah, and I totally agree.
	I don't really know why I would other than to prolong the transition from high school to real life.
	Yeah, why are you trying to prolong that?
	No, I'm not, but I feel like that's the only way if I haven't figured out what I want to do.
	Oh, so you want to go to college to hide?
	No, I guess maybe subconsciously, but that's what I'm trying to figure out.
	If I don't want to hide, but I don't want to go to trade school.
	So it's...
	Just work more, dude.
	Just work more.
	You know, when you do a job that's really physically strenuous, you end up figuring out stuff about yourself.
	Like when I was a bike messenger, I don't know, I was in such incredible shape that I started refocusing exactly what I want to do with my life because I was like...
	Totally.
	I was almost a boxer.
	I was on the ball.
	Like, I was in incredible shape and I could see my life clearly.
	You gotta clean your room.
	Clean your room.
	Do a job that's bloody methodical so you can let your mind go free and think about what your next move is.
	Of course you bloody don't want to do cooking.
	Hell.
	I don't even like putting a hot pocket in the toast.
	I don't even like food.
	I like meat.
	I ate a cracker and my daughter had a black flip.
	What?
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	That's enough of you.
	Figure it out.
	Yeah, go plan some more signs.
	Andrew.
	Android.
	If this is correct, this is a very funny call.
	Name is Andrew.
	Topic is Pro Coles.
	Like the store.
	But his phone sounds like it's in a whale's blowhole.
	But now, can you hear me now?
	Yes.
	Yep.
	Awesome.
	All right.
	Well, this is my first time calling.
	A lot of you guys listen to the show all the time.
	So one thing that Gavin mentioned at the beginning of his show was do not attack your sister.
	Ask her questions instead.
	Right.
	And I'm assuming that this sister is probably left-wing if you're not going to, you know, you're not going to dig into her stuff.
	And a lot of left-wingers are in favor of green stuff, electrifying everything, making cars all electric, right?
	Yeah, because electricity is magic.
	It comes from outer space, and it's free energy.
	There is no source for electricity.
	It's just, it's a magical lightning bolt that appears from the sky.
	Exactly.
	But that's what they think.
	And so you should ask her questions, very specific questions.
	There are numbers out there on where does electricity come from, right?
	So you can ask her, you can start off with, how much does the average American household use in kilowatt hours?
	She might not know what that is, but she won't know what it is.
	You can say it's the average daily use is 30 kilowatt hours, right?
	Okay, whatever that number is, 30.
	Okay?
	And if you want to switch everybody to an electrical vehicle, Tesla's most efficient battery by the EPA is rated if you drive 50 miles, it's going to use 15 kilowatt hours.
	The house uses 30, and you're going to use 15.
	I think you're getting way too deep in the woods.
	I would say instead of getting into that kind of specifics, you just say, yes, I also am interested in electric cars.
	I hear it's a lot cheaper, and I don't want to spend money on gas.
	My problem is that as far as like your carbon footprint, I heard, and you're dumb, by the way, you don't know, you just heard.
	I heard that the money, the energy comes mostly from coal, and they're actually the coal they burn is just as much as the gas dad's car burns.
	So when I heard that, it turned me off.
	And then she's going to say, that's not true.
	And then you're going to go, oh, okay, well, then I do like electric cars.
	Then you drop it.
	And then three days later, when she's back in Seattle, you say, here's the article where I got that silly idea.
	I guess they're wrong.
	And it's a like Wall Street Journal, Business Insider, Washington Examiner, something reliable saying, yes, electric cars use, you know, 10% more fossil fuels than fuel-efficient gas cars.
	That, I think, is the way.
	Because our families are splitting.
	Our crazy sisters are leaving the family.
	And yelling at her and calling her a bitch is not helping.
	Yeah, I don't want to call anybody any bad names.
	I just don't think that they want to go all electric and stuff and they want to get rid of oil.
	And it's like, okay, I get that, but you've got to understand you can't switch.
	You can't just say, we're going to electrify the grid with solar and with wind because when everybody gets home after commuting all day all around all over the place and they plug their car into the into the wall,
	that's when the sun's going down.
	That's when solar is taking a dump.
	That's when wind is taking a dump.
	So all that's falling off of the cliff and everybody's plugging this massive demand into their wall.
	Yeah, good point.
	But isn't the solar and the wind stored?
	Like, it's not like it's live.
	No.
	No, it's not stored.
	I mean, you can store it maybe in giant batteries, which cost a fortune.
	Or you can store it with like, with like gravity batteries in terms of like dams, like hydroelectric dams, but like no one does that.
	That's not a thing.
	Oh, I didn't realize that.
	So when you get this solar and this wind, it has to be fresh out the pipe?
	Mm-hmm.
	I mean, I had just assumed that all electric cars are bullshit, so I didn't look into it, but that's interesting.
	It's funny how, wasn't Gavin Newsom saying, turn off your AC this summer?
	Sounds about right.
	Yeah.
	Well, anyway, my advice is you're dropping too many truth bombs.
	I can take them because I'm skeptical, but your sister can't.
	So please do not hit her with a million carpet bombs of logic.
	I'll take this fucking shit.
	And keep it silly and interrogative.
	And then later you can email her the truth, which is that you were right and she was wrong.
	Well, that was just, I would like to make it long and condensed and slowly bring her out of her shell, but I just wanted to make it super condensed for you guys because I know it's getting close.
	All right, dude.
	I like you more than a friend.
	I will eat your ass.
	Nip thicker.
	This drawing.
	Is anyone going to want this?
	It's terrible.
	But you spoke about it.
	Here's the thing.
	It's like people have a connection to it since it's been such a thing throughout the show.
	You're like, oh, I hate it.
	I'm working on it.
	Like, you know.
	Look at how terrible these drawings are.
	Especially one of the callers.
	One of the callers would be like, I called in the show and I got the thing from the thing.
	I got the terrible, shitty, ratty, blue-haired dad he did on math.
	What is that?
	It's just a guy on math who's like your deadbeat dad.
	Not your deadbeat dad.
	My dad, he's got a new Instagram and he looks like a smoker.
	Ooh.
	What, your dad?
	Yeah.
	He's like, trying to make sexy pictures of him?
	Yeah, he's got like a new hair dude.
	Is he single?
	I don't think so.
	You don't think so?
	No, I don't think so.
	So why is he trying to make himself sexy?
	Maybe he's...
	Who is he sexy for?
	Maybe he's like Singar Sasing.
	What's his name?
	Let's see it.
	No, well, I'm not going to dox him, but here's a.
	I just.
	Oh, show me.
	There's no picture of me.
	Not a lot of Ryan Rivera's here.
	There's no pictures of me here.
	But this is his new hairdo.
	I'm going to try to crop this in a way that nobody can find him and bother him.
	Because he'd be upset.
	Then he'd hang out with me less if they're like...
	Less than zero?
	Making people pause on me.
	Oh, my God.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	He looks so good.
	He never had bangs like that before.
	So I'm like, is he going in a new direction here?
	That was really blurry.
	He's rebranding.
	Ooh, that's a sexy shot.
	Is he tall?
	Not very much.
	Maybe like two inch taller than me.
	So, wait, so you're five, what, seven?
	I'm a good soaking wet.
	5'9?
	So he's 5'9?
	I'm like 5'6, probably.
	Okay.
	I'm a runt.
	Who do we got here?
	Matt.
	Nothing wrong with Matt.
	Matty.
	Hey, how's it going, guys?
	Hey, man.
	Hey, I got a question for you, but I want to preface it with a couple of things.
	My question is, God forbid, Kamala Harris becomes president.
	And the whole statement of banning frack and no new fracking.
	I work in the oil field in northeast Pennsylvania.
	I bring the wells to production.
	And I was talking in the shop today with all of my co-workers and told them: hey, guys, don't worry about it.
	During the first term of Obama, we did very well.
	Do you think that they actually want or will ban fracking and ban the oil field in America?
	No.
	I think that Biden and Kamala Harris are like Justin Trudeau.
	They talk a big game, and then, because Justin Trudeau tried to cancel oil sands, and then someone went, oh, that's 7,000 jobs.
	And he went, okay, we're not doing that.
	No.
	So I think that Kamala and Biden see fracking the way like Mark Ruffalo does, where it's a few dangerous mines in upstate New York that will turn them into Flint.
	Like three towns will become Flint.
	They don't realize how much of it is in, where is it now?
	Like Ohio, Texas.
	It's not just Pennsylvania, right?
	Yeah, no, it's all over.
	I mean, the Marcellus and Utica Shale are Pennsylvania through Ohio, and it's even in upstate New York.
	And that's some of the largest reserves in America, actually in the world.
	Isn't that where we get 70% of our natural gas?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And furthermore, I worked on the well that supposedly got contaminated, and the guy was able to light his faucet on fire.
	Guess what?
	He did that back in the 70s.
	Yes.
	Burning Springs, New York is called Burning Springs because back in the 1800s, they noticed when they threw a match into a natural spring, it lit on fire, and I believe it's still on fire today.
	This natural methane.
	In upstate New York, around these shale areas, you don't put a candle in the bathroom after you take a shit because the methane from the water will blow your bathroom door off.
	That's why people frack there.
	These people are rubes.
	Yeah.
	These people are boobs.
	They don't know what they're talking about.
	You're so right.
	I think that they like the sound of things where you're like, hey, we're going to outlaw anyone.
	Everyone who says the word nigger goes to jail.
	And then you go, that sounds nice.
	And then someone's going to whisper in their, actually, 99% of the people say nigger are black.
	And they go, oh, we're not doing that.
	So they like the idea of ending fossil fuels.
	They'll get one little reality check and they'll go, oh, 90% of our, or 70% of our natural gas comes from that?
	Yeah, we're not doing that.
	And that'll be the end of that.
	So in a way, Biden can be good for at least big industries because he has no balls.
	And, you know, Justin Trudeau, a lot of people in Canada told me they like him because he's such a useless puppet that he doesn't, he can't make terrible decisions because he has no gumption.
	Well, that's a good point.
	All right, man.
	Thanks for coming.
	Somebody sent in a COVID bumper.
	And there are two others to look at if you'd like to look at them.
	I'd love to see them.
	Here we go.
	COVID, she shanxing link pink.
	That's fantastic.
	And that's a yes.
	Some of these are so good that I want to just put them on a random fucking loop where we don't use the same one every time.
	Oh, that's fun.
	Because we have like five awesome feminisms.
	This one's feminism, I believe.
	Feminism.
	That's a fucking win.
	Okay.
	You know what that first part was from, right?
	No.
	Sam Hyde's show when he was on TV.
	Back before he was canceled.
	You tripped my wife by the gynos.
	These are great.
	That one sucks.
	I like that one.
	Now it reeks.
	That felt like very adult swimmish.
	And then here's a jingle.
	Okay, never mind.
	That's the same one.
	All right.
	All right.
	Next columns.
	Takatoto.
	Okay.
	Oh, somebody wrote into the mailbag.
	They said they know where my dad was when that picture was taken.
	It's Waikiki.
	They're like, I know that place anywhere.
	Pretty cool.
	Olivia, talking about the gays.
	By the way, the phones have been full.
	35 lines have been full the entire show.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Olivia, gays.
	Hey, guys.
	I was wondering why all of my friends are gay.
	Why what?
	Why all of my friends are gay?
	Where do you live?
	I live in Florida, but these are friends from high school.
	And I'm finishing up college, so obviously everyone I know is super liberal.
	But now they're all gay, too, when they weren't before.
	So are these men sucking dicks?
	No, like, I have a few gay friends who are men, but now, like, one of them was roommates with two other girls I knew from high school and then some other people they know.
	And now everyone in that household is gay when they weren't before.
	Gay, like, lesbian?
	Yeah, they can't, like, one became lesbian, but she said she likes men, like, she's attracted to men, but she just hates going on dates with them and she can't emotionally connect, so she's a lesbian.
	Yeah, I think I know what's going on.
	We've ruined men with birth control by making birth control convinces a woman that she's in her first trimester.
	And women in their first trimester don't want to be around alpha males.
	They want to be around their brother because it's someone who will protect them but not want to fuck them.
	So you end up promoting this beta culture, and these women pretend they like that, but then they go on a date, they're like, This guy's a pussy.
	So then they say they're gay, but what they really mean is like they want to hug, and men don't know how to hug them properly because they're too gentle.
	So they just go with some chick who like they have weird, stupid, gross lesbian until graduation sex.
	So they're not gay.
	It's just that we've ruined men.
	Yeah, well, now all of my girlfriends are gay, so they think I am too.
	Okay.
	Well, welcome aboard.
	I'm gay too.
	Thanks for calling.
	I want to be a woman.
	All right, Bob.
	She seems nice.
	I like that.
	You're a gay woman, yeah.
	There's a certain voice.
	It's hard to explain, but I just, I like that voice she had.
	It's kind of like it's still feminine and sexual, but it's also a buddy.
	Right.
	It's hard to explain.
	Asian Steve.
	Okay.
	Oh, hi.
	Oh, hi, Mark.
	Oh, hi, Mark.
	Yeah, how's it going?
	Yeah, I just wanted to talk about just the music industry is absolutely destroyed.
	I toured for over 10 years as a guitar tech all over the world, and everyone is out of work, basically.
	And it's just all the music that's out now is terrible.
	It's all this crappy hip-hop shit that you can make on a computer.
	No one is playing shows, and we can't for at least a year.
	As far as I know, the people at Ticketmaster are saying like one more year, and then requiring COVID tests and getting the vaccine and all this kind of shit.
	And it basically just, it makes the culture horrible.
	There's no more stories of like, you know, people just being on tour and being pirates and doing outlandish shit, which people like to hear, but not anymore, apparently.
	Just get canceled if you talk about that.
	Yeah, like Ozzy's snorting ants.
	But you sound like you're talking about too many different things at once here.
	So there's political correctness.
	There's rap taking over rock because it's easier to produce, I guess.
	And then there's COVID.
	Yeah.
	Which is a...
	You know what I was saying to my kids the other day?
	I was talking about all these people getting canceled, like Dream, what were they called?
	Dream Machine?
	Dream Machine and Ty Richards and all these bands where BBQ or BBQT.
	The bassists will say, I don't know, maybe you should enforce immigration.
	Then that whole band is banned.
	There was the record label that used the term Boogaloo.
	They were banned, right?
	They didn't mean Boogaloo like Boogaloo Boys.
	They meant Boogaloo like whatever it is, Louisiana shrimp.
	And they were banned.
	So now we're at a point with indie rock where you know when you see a band, every single person on that stage hates Trump.
	And they're pro-Biden, they're pro-trans, just like you.
	And that's like Soviet.
	So that's one problem.
	Secondly, we have another problem where we have...
	Are your armpits reeking up this entire studio?
	No.
	Did you have a shower today?
	Sure did.
	Secondly, we have COVID that is preventing live music.
	So that would be the death of music if it was, you know, 1977 in London.
	That's a major problem.
	And then third, we have technology getting so good at home recordings that people don't feel like making rock anymore.
	So it feels like your profession is hit with three major neutron bombs.
	Yeah, I know, you know, I know a lot of bands that they actually, they put out a record this year and they can't tour on it.
	So it was almost worthless for them to do all that work.
	You know what I mean?
	And it's like, okay, cool.
	What do we do?
	We sit on a record or we make another one, I guess?
	I don't know, in hopes that next year we can go back out.
	Like, what do you do at that point?
	Right, because, you know, concerts are dangerous.
	Concerts are dangerous.
	Let people fucking, you know, mosh and get hurt.
	And who cares?
	And, yeah, 100% of musicians' income these days is the live shows.
	They don't make any money on records anymore.
	And now they took the live shows away.
	Yeah, it's really disheartening just because now it's just like people do the live stream thing and it's like, hey, look at me in my bedroom playing acoustic guitar.
	And there's nothing sexy or dangerous about that.
	And that's starting to become normal.
	So people are into that now and being more kind of beta about everything.
	Eventually it defines the culture.
	How about all this new talk of concert venues when they do get going again?
	Part of your way to get in will be a COVID test on your phone that shows that you've done it.
	Yeah, they're going to do, I know some people at Live Nation, they were talking about doing a QR code type scenario.
	You know what I mean?
	Where you get their test and all of a sudden they scan it.
	It's like scanning your ticket twice.
	You know what I mean?
	And that sounds draconian.
	Yeah, it's horrible.
	This is supposed to be fun and people forget.
	Even sporting events are so they're tanking.
	Now, I don't know if you saw that on Saturday they have the Tyson fight and they're saying that there's not allowed to be knockouts.
	They got to be two-minute rounds.
	Like what is that?
	Like, no.
	We want to see them fight.
	Is that going to be available on normal demand?
	I think I have Verizon.
	Can I get that on Verizon?
	Or do I have to buy it on the internet?
	I think it's a $50 pay-per-view thing.
	I'm Richard.
	I don't mind that.
	Yeah, I mean, I'm going to watch it, of course, but the only cool thing was Tyson said he's going to disobey the rules and try to knock out Boyd Don.
	Yeah, I saw him crying his eyes out the other day saying, I just, I haven't had that creature released, and I've been holding it in all these years, and it's like the Hulk.
	And once that beast comes out, I won't be able to control him.
	That's why I'm crying right now, because I'm scared I'm going to kill someone.
	He's going to kill somebody.
	He might kill somebody.
	All right, thanks for calling, buddy.
	You should join a guitar club.
	Okay, that's the last call.
	Let's look at Tyson crying.
	I'm going to contact him and see if I could recruit him.
	We need guitar tech for our guitar club.
	Oh.
	Our Zoom club.
	We had Chris from Trapped.
	I studied them all.
	I know the art of fighting.
	I know the art of war.
	That's all I ever studied.
	That's why I'm so feared.
	That's why they feared me when I was in the ring.
	Because that's all my...
	I was an annihilated.
	That's all I was born for.
	I feel like we would be best.
	Now those days are gone.
	It's empty.
	I'm nothing.
	I'm working on being in the art of humbleness.
	Can you believe me?
	That's the reason why I'm crying.
	Because I'm not that person no more.
	And I miss them.
	Because sometimes I feel like a bitch.
	Because I don't want that person to come out.
	Because if he comes out, hell is coming with him.
	And it's not funny at all.
	It must sound cool.
	Like, I'm a tough guy.
	It's just that I hate that guy.
	I'm scared of him.
	Whoa.
	You do not want to even kind of fuck with that guy.
	Did you just poo your pants?
	I'm scared of him.
	I said the same thing when they were talking about, not that I'm in the same universe as Mike Tyson, but when they talked about vaccinating our kids without our permission.
	And I was like, I'm scared of the Gavin who will be going to that school and what he'll do to like the bricks.
	Like, I'll just start smashing the cinder blocks.
	But yeah, the comment says, imagine being so badass you're scared of yourself.
	All right.
	So tomorrow's the Thanksgiving show.
	We got a major announcement on Friday.
	It's going to be very exciting.
	And shows Saturday, Sunday, of course.
	We got Jacob Wall.
	We got Jim Goad.
	We got Soph.
	And we also have you getting fired, getting in trouble, being brave, and never stopping the fighting.
	I'm in the corner, watching your kids come.
	I'm right over here.
	Why can't you see me?

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