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Oct. 13, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:01:05

S03E24 - FULL RETARD [2020-10-13 - S03E24 - FULL RETARD]

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	When you check these in TV addicts, the dance don't mean to bring static.
	You bring them to your grandma's house.
	You back to be friendly to get loud.
	Live from New York.
	I'm on with Devin McKinnon.
	Back into the home before.
	That was the Le Beastie Boys.
	I liked them better when they were a punk band.
	They're fucking PC dorks.
	They were great, though, that first album, weren't they?
	License to Illinois.
	Fantastic album, which of course they later disavowed and said, we're just kidding.
	We're pretending to be total partying jock assholes.
	We're actually feminists.
	No, I saw you partying in real life.
	Eating whipped cream off of girls' tits and pouring beers down their pants.
	So you can't rewrite history.
	And no one was mad at you for that.
	Yeah, you acted like a bunch of stupid 20-year-old men because you were.
	Beastie boy, apologies.
	But I like that the feminism thing worked.
	And they just said, it was a joke.
	It was just a joke.
	And now chicks are like, yeah, the beastie boys are my favorite band.
	And I'm in a beastie boys cover band.
	A beastie boys cover band?
	Adults?
	Who DJs?
	What does the DJ do?
	Oh, the DJ has the MP3 queued up to whatever the sound system is, and she presses play.
	That's it.
	Look at these ugly, feminist, fat, pig losers.
	Yeah, so we all met through the Chicago comedy scene.
	Amy and I knew each other first.
	One night after Lollapalooza, we were playing rock band, and I did sabotage.
	This is what you're doing.
	You're playing rock band.
	This shouldn't be on the news.
	This should be in your living room.
	She was like, yeah.
	This is karaoke.
	Why is this a thing?
	Do they do shows?
	And then she met Maggie.
	The Chicago comedy scenes.
	Look at how sexless we've made our women with their fat legs and their double chins and their boys' hairdos.
	Just had a shower with shampoo.
	It's all fluffy.
	Look at that one on the left, like the host.
	She's still a woman.
	Funny, they perform.
	She's super hot.
	Oh, they make videos?
	Wait, is that the real Beastie Boys?
	That's the original you.
	I kind of like them.
	I love them.
	That's them kidding, by the way.
	Well, we all grew up with them.
	That's just a joke.
	That's their kidding there.
	Okay, we gotta hear what this one says.
	You can't see the Beastie Boys anymore, unfortunately, after Adam Yog passed away.
	So we're keeping the music alive and we're gonna get to a new audience by pasting.
	So it's better than the Beastie Boys.
	Look, she's got her resist pin.
	What are the parents really doing?
	You know what that means now?
	The resist pin with the black fist?
	It means I fuck black dudes.
	And they don't mind that I'm fat.
	We're gonna do, check it out.
	It should say that that symbol is now the symbol of I don't care if white guys don't want to fuck me anymore.
	I'll just fuck black dudes.
	I'm valuable for a night.
	Yeah, by the way, these black dudes, they won't fuck me a lot.
	I saw this clip of teen mom on MTV, and she's like saying she's a fat white woman like this.
	Looks exactly like that, but obviously a teen.
	And she says, oh, so you'll come down here to fuck me, but you won't come down here to see your son?
	And I'm watching it going, yeah, that's what you signed up for.
	You didn't know that's the way it works.
	You stupid bitch.
	Anyway, let's see these disgusting fucking losers.
	Talentless losers.
	And keep your eye on the quote-unquote DJ.
	Are you trickies and TV addicts?
	Are you kling ons in your grandma's house?
	Grabbing back street friend to get loud.
	Blowing doors off hinges.
	Got me with the pitches.
	And no, I didn't retire.
	Such an off of the needle nose pliers.
	Like angel of Omaha.
	What the hell about you never seen before?
	Gliding in the glaze.
	Look at the DJ.
	She just pumps her fist.
	That's all she does.
	Girls are empowered.
	Girls can do it too.
	No, they're all childless too.
	Thank God we got women out of the kitchen, huh?
	Where they can pretend to be white guys who are pretending to be black guys.
	I'm a white dude.
	I'm a white bitch playing a black dude.
	No, I'm a white bitch playing a white dude who's playing a black dude.
	This is full retard.
	We're called Simple Jack.
	No, they're called She's Craft.
	Oh, I get it.
	What she's doing.
	Why is she there?
	And you know what's ironic?
	The Beastie Boys initially had a girl in this band, a girl in their band when they were a punk band who looked like that.
	And then when they signed to Def Jam, Rick Rubin said, get rid of the fetching.
	It's a bad look.
	And they're like, no problem.
	Bye.
	They didn't even tell her.
	They just got their record contract.
	They bought matching track suits.
	And she saw them and she's like, oh, you got track suits.
	What?
	And they're like, oh, hey, Kate, I think her name was.
	And so they started a record label and they signed her band Luscious Jackson, I think, as an apology.
	Oh, my God.
	Look at her in the front.
	They're getting comfortable now.
	Oh, no.
	Now they're getting into their groove, yo.
	I bring the hitch that's beyond the zone.
	We're a jock, huh?
	This is so fucking Jarvis Square.
	Playing a show?
	What does that sound?
	I bring the hitch that's beyond the zone.
	Oh, that's the name.
	Oh, were they stealing that thing from that Paul's boutique song where it's like, and drop?
	Maybe.
	I think they were doing a Miss Piggy song.
	I got a beef squad shirt.
	I got a beef squad shirt and it ain't no fun.
	I got a beef squad shirt and it's on the run.
	This is not available at our store.
	Correct.
	Jim is ripping us off and selling his own fucking merch.
	So don't go to, is it jimgo.net?
	It is JimGo.
	Do not go to jimgo.net.
	Do not pass go.
	Do not collect $200.
	He's got the dot com.
	Our book today is...
	Oh, he's got the .com back.
	He does.
	Oh, good.
	So it's jimgo.com.
	Yep.
	Why does it say jimgo.net?
	I don't know.
	Because he has both.
	Bam, bam.
	Book today is a graphic novel.
	That's my background, and it's a tough sell to Americans.
	They're like, oh, comic books, like Superman.
	No, I don't even count that as the same genre as this.
	This is one of the greats.
	In Toronto, there's a little mini-scene of autobiographical cartoonists.
	Seth is one.
	Chester Brown is another.
	Joe Matt, all phenomenally talented.
	This guy is an annoying, autistic dude who has OCD.
	And it's frustrating to read his stories as an adult because you just want to slap him.
	But this is him as a kid being a weird, fucked up kid.
	And it's just like that Nick Kroll show with the big lips is fucking disgusting.
	It's all about porn and sex and how horny you are when you're nine.
	This has like Playboy and boobs occasionally in it, but it's a much more accurate and less disgusting look at being a kid in the 70s.
	And I guess this is in Montreal, back when there were still Anglophones in Montreal.
	Oh no, maybe it was Toronto.
	Yeah, he lives in Montreal now.
	That's it.
	Anyway, I highly recommend this.
	What is the name of it?
	Fair Weather.
	Joe Matt.
	And obviously a reference to Fair Weather Friends and the way friends come and go when you're a young man.
	When you're a young man.
	Maybe I should put the book of the day.
	Let me see this shot.
	What if I put the book of the day here?
	Or here.
	Something to consider.
	We have a new bobblehead here, Donald Trump bobblehead.
	Looking a little cluttered.
	My merch is piling up.
	I went to the park, Carl Ripken Park in Maryland for my son's baseball tournament.
	They did okay.
	They did very well, but there's these teams they set up, these pro teams, where the parents pay like thousands of dollars for the kid to have a batting coach and a pitching coach, and they don't just choose your local neighborhood.
	Like my kids' team all go to the same school.
	It's the entire area, like Long Island.
	So the guys were, one of them was literally six feet tall, and he literally hit it out of the literal park, which is 250 feet or yards?
	I'm not, no, feet, right?
	So like though, that team was getting scores like 27 to zero.
	If your team is making 27 to 0 scores, you're at the wrong tournament.
	That's not fun.
	That's Mike Tyson fighting me.
	That's not a fight.
	But otherwise, the scores were like 6, 5, and 7, 4, and, you know, good scores.
	And they did well when it was that.
	And they made it to the championships, but not to the very end.
	Thanks to that super pro team.
	But on the way there, I went to this Nickelodeon new indoor water park.
	And what do you call that?
	Indoor theme park?
	Theme park?
	Yeah.
	There was no one there.
	There was like seven Orthodox Jews, seven Muslims, and seven black people.
	There was about 21 people there.
	So a couple times I went on a roller coaster ride with my son, and we were the only ones on it.
	Look how few people are on this.
	Whoa.
	Wait, I covered it.
	One, two, three, four.
	Is there another video I sent in there?
	It was spooky.
	It was like Thanos.
	Just a little lone roller coaster drifting by itself.
	Turn it up.
	There's some people on the plane.
	Look at this.
	And now you think, you go to a theme park and it's packed and you've got to wait in line for an hour and you think, God, I wish I was a billionaire and I would just rent this whole place just for me and my friends.
	It's actually kind of spooky.
	It's not a good vibe.
	I know you think you hate the crowds, but the crowds are actually a great part of these theme parks.
	Yes, it's a pain in the ass to wait in line, but it's not like traffic where it would be awesome to have no cars on the road.
	And we experienced that during COVID.
	It was fucking fun.
	But I don't know.
	I remember when I was a kid, my mom would make mints and tatties, which is mincemeat and potatoes.
	And she put stuff in the mincemeat, like tomatoes and other vegetables.
	And I went, mom, you always ruin the mint with all this stuff.
	Can we just once have just mince and tatties with no fucking shit in it?
	No additives, no vegetables, nothing?
	And she did, and it was gross.
	And then I realized, oh, I like the vegetables.
	I like the crowds.
	I like the carrots and the onions and the peas in there.
	The carrots and the onions and the peas in there.
	It's a total rap day.
	Anyway, so that was a trip.
	Do I have any stories?
	Oh, is that Ripken Park?
	Oh, I think there's a bunch.
	It's a chain.
	Oh.
	So I don't think that's the one we were at.
	Yeah.
	It's cool, though.
	I couldn't get any of the dads to party.
	They were all like, well, it's 9.30.
	Better hit the hey.
	We got to get up at 6 tomorrow.
	Maybe at midnight, you might have a point.
	6.5 hours is not sufficient for you.
	So I was just drinking by myself.
	I ended up making friends.
	I met a guy from Seattle who I go, he goes, fuck that place.
	And I'm liberal.
	And I go, I never even thought of Seattle as political.
	I thought of it as like rain and mountain biking.
	And he goes, yeah, it was.
	I mountain biked every day.
	That was my thing.
	That was my cup of joe.
	And now I live on Long Island and I got a girlfriend and I'm never going back there ever again.
	Fuck that town.
	I was born there.
	I grew up there.
	Fuck that town.
	One of the fag capitals of the world.
	What else?
	Let's get back to these broads.
	I saw Cardi B wasn't wearing a mask at her party.
	She had a birthday party in Vegas where she's just barefoot.
	Go down a little bit.
	Look, she's barefoot on stage.
	I hate when women...
	Why are women barefoot at events?
	Like they show up in high-heel shoes and then they're off in a second.
	They're at a wedding dancing around and they're all barefoot in these beautiful gowns.
	Look at their feet in flip-flops.
	And Cardi B just has no shoes on at all.
	Like it's...
	What are you, an animal?
	But look at that tweet.
	Tonight, Flotus and I tested positive for COVID-19.
	We'll begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately.
	We will get through this together.
	Bet you wanna...
	I guess that's a song she does.
	Bet you wanna wear a mask now.
	Stupid fucking trumps not wearing a mask.
	I always wear a mask, like in this clip of my birthday party.
	Look, she's holding her flip-flops.
	Her sandals aren't enough.
	They're too uncomfortable.
	You can wear kitten heels or something.
	So not a lot of masks going on at Cardi B's party.
	In other words, she could give less of a shit.
	The black community in general don't wear masks.
	I see them.
	I drive through their neighborhoods coming here every single day.
	And you never see black people in the hood with masks.
	Very rarely.
	No social distancing.
	That's why it's a racist virus because it's affecting blacks more.
	And de Blasio has sunk millions into finding out why and seeing how they can fix it.
	How can they make the virus less racist?
	Dude, speaking of black guys, I want to take a moment to explain that.
	Wait a minute.
	I forgot to send you a tweet.
	Shit.
	This picture, this guy.
	Remember I always say that liberals see blacks as pets?
	Here, I'll email it to you now.
	I value animal life over white humans.
	See, they always end up doing this.
	They go full circle until they end up being the racists that they purport to despise.
	So the way whites talk about blacks, they've never met them.
	They don't talk to them.
	And the more you know, the more black people you know, the more you realize, wow, you guys are different than us.
	You have different lifestyles.
	Like I remember talking to Sherrod Small about our crazy college days.
	And I did have some pretty crazy college days.
	And he's like, yeah, and then this rival frat, this black frat, another black frat, they were fucking with us.
	So when we drove by their place, we threw dynamite, a stick of dynamite in their window of their kitchen.
	What?
	So you murdered like 50 people?
	And dynamite, isn't that the hardest thing to acquire in the world?
	Like, don't job sites have to get special licenses and permits to use it, to buy it?
	And they trace everyone who's ever bought it?
	That's my understanding.
	Dynamite is like the craziest thing you can have next to a nuclear weapon for obvious reasons.
	He's like, yeah, it was fucked up.
	I can't remember where we got it from.
	I value animal life over white humans, but people of color and animals are the same level of valuable.
	Whoops.
	You went so far to the left, you turned into a Nazi and you called black people animals.
	They're dogs.
	This is so perfect.
	That should be a t-shirt.
	We should make a t-shirt, by the way, of when Judd Appetow called Tucker and I the worst humanity has to offer.
	And when you look it up, you'll see that he said this a bunch of times.
	I'm not kidding, though.
	We should say that.
	Anyway, so my point of bringing all this up is to say that black people are different than white people in America.
	They have totally different lifestyles, especially poorer blacks.
	Maybe I haven't met a lot of complete trailer trash, so I don't, maybe, maybe it is the same with them in the South.
	But I'm talking to this guy at the gym, and he's talking about how his mom's friends in this early 70s would molest him and let him suck their tits and eat them out.
	I don't think he fucked them, but maybe he did.
	And he goes, I loved it, man.
	It was heaven on earth.
	But I couldn't tell my mother because if I did, she'd kill herself.
	And you go, well, how old were you?
	Because if you're 15, I mean, it's terrible that they took a 15-year-old's innocence, but it's not the end of the universe, I guess.
	And he goes, I was seven.
	What?
	Seven?
	He made out with three or four of his mom's friends when he was seven.
	And he's a short guy.
	So he probably looked like he was five.
	And he was just like, yeah, crazy shit, man.
	Crazy days.
	And I hear that all the time.
	I hear about black males sucking their babysitter's tits when they're like eight, nine.
	Maybe it's a city thing.
	Because I remember some weird stuff going on.
	What do you mean?
	Well, there was this girl, she had like pierced nipples, like one of my mom's friends or my mom's boyfriend's friends.
	And she was like a redhead, skinny, with like nose piercings and stuff.
	And then she was like, I'll show you yours if you show you mine.
	Mine, what is it?
	Show you yours if you show me mine, whatever.
	She brought me both of you.
	I'll show you yours.
	Most people have seen their own genitalia.
	Show you yours.
	Do you want to see your penis?
	I'll show me my vagina.
	Show me mine.
	I'll show you yours.
	And you can look at your own penis.
	Show me yours and I'll show you mine.
	There we go.
	Good.
	Then she brought me up to her apartment, but nothing happened.
	Unless I blacked it out.
	How old was she?
	She was like...
	It's hard to tell when you're that young, but I was like 10 or 8.
	Around there.
	Yeah.
	She was like, you know, my age.
	Well, you're in the South Bronx, Puerto Rico black town.
	She was white.
	Yeah, I know, but it's in that culture.
	That's why I think it's like low-income.
	Do weird stuff.
	Seven, eight?
	Yeah.
	Anyway, get this story.
	So this dude I know who teaches in the South Bronx, he goes, we lost this girl, this 12-year-old.
	And I go, why isn't that on the news?
	Is that racism?
	And he goes, it's a whole other universe with them.
	Like, people have babies when they're 13.
	I saw this commercial about COVID, and it had this doctor saying, I had a young woman who had it really bad, and she was 19, and I'll never forget it because she had the names of her kids on a bracelet on her wrist.
	Anyway, COVID, COVID, COVID.
	And you're like, wait, stop.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	She's 19 and she has several kids?
	Like, unless she had twins last year, she probably has three then, and, you know, they're a year apart.
	Let's say it takes four years to make three kids.
	So that means she started at 15.
	15.
	So you had a 15-year-old mom at one point.
	Anyway, so this isn't like a girl abducted in the way it would be in a middle-class white situation where there'd be posters everywhere.
	This is a woman where the guy takes her, kidnaps her, then they party and stuff and maybe go traveling, go live somewhere.
	And now that girl is a woman.
	And if you were to go, I'm here, baby, I'm home.
	You can come home now.
	She'd be like, fuck you, bitch.
	Because she's like a 17-year-old now.
	They jumped her.
	That should be a term.
	I jumped her age.
	This sounds crazy, I realize.
	So instead of the father and the brother focus on getting her back, they know she'll come back eventually, and then she'll just be like a woman now.
	That guy stole her innocence.
	They managed to hack into her Instagram and they found the guy who facilitated the meetup.
	So there was a meetup with this girl.
	It's like I'm talking about another planet right now.
	And then him and the girl, they went, they smoked blunts, they did drugs, they got wasted.
	And now they're going to have like a two-week, maybe do math and just fuck and party.
	I'm almost puking as I say this, right?
	So instead of focusing on her, they want to focus on the guy who set it up because he's the one who lost her innocence.
	Her innocence is lost is what I'm saying.
	Like if it was a middle-class white thing, you'd be praying that she didn't get raped and thinking I can get her and then she'll go to a therapist.
	Maybe we could preserve the 12-year-old.
	The 12-year-old's gone.
	She's 17 now.
	Right?
	So now we have to get the guy who did it.
	And he said, I talk to parents and the ones that care are really fucking hard on them on their kids and slapping them around.
	Don't fucking talk to me like that.
	Get downstairs.
	And they go, we have to be drill sergeants because the second we turn our backs, poof, they're off to gangland.
	So you need, it's like having a pet tiger.
	Like you just got to be, get down, big chain on it and stuff.
	Because it's the second you stop, you've lost that kid forever.
	So what they do is the father and the brother of the girl, they arrange to meet the guy, pretending they're her, the 12-year-old saying, I just had so much fun with that guy.
	You got any more guys I could hang out with?
	You're awesome.
	You seem fun.
	You're handsome.
	And he's like, be right there.
	He drives to the school.
	They're in front of the school.
	I think it was during school hours.
	And they meet him, and I think they killed him.
	Wow.
	They beat him for like an hour.
	Nice.
	Pounding him in the face completely collapsed his facial bones.
	His orbital and his eyes are sealed shut.
	His head is this swollen.
	He had dreads.
	The guy?
	There was dreads all over the rope.
	Oh my God.
	And as they were pounding him, they were also stabbing him.
	Wow.
	With little, as they call it in Rikers, a sewing machine.
	And now that they're not going to get arrested.
	No one's going to be a witness.
	And now that's settled.
	Yeah.
	I'm just telling you, that's the culture.
	So you don't know the culture.
	And when you have Cardi B interviewing Joe Biden, you look like a buffoon.
	How long have...
	Is that clock stopped?
	Looks like it's taking along.
	How long have we been recording for?
	No, that's correct.
	About a half hour, 25 minutes.
	Okay.
	Different culture.
	But the good news is the masks don't work anyway.
	Go to mask pick.
	A survey conducted for the CDC showed that 85% of those who contracted C-19 always or often wore face coverings within 14 days before they were infected.
	85% were wearing masks.
	70% of outpatients reported always wearing masks.
	And 3.9% reported never wearing a mask.
	Hey, Stern.
	Hey, Howard Stern, who's ruined his show by screaming, wear a fucking mask.
	It's not that hard.
	I find it uncomfortable.
	I don't like it, but I wear it.
	I'm becoming, what's the word?
	Inulcated?
	Inoculated?
	Inoculated?
	To this kind of a voice.
	It's starting to sound normal to me, which isn't good.
	He sounds like Ezra Levant.
	Everyone sounds like Ezra Levant when it's the off-the-grid guy.
	What's his name?
	I'm in the Baja.
	Jesse Ventura.
	I'm in Mexico.
	Listen here, pal.
	I'm a surfer half the year in Mexico.
	This guy's wearing a mask.
	He's not got COVID.
	That's an old one.
	He's wearing a mask.
	This was the weirdest hearing I've ever seen.
	You're just supposed to say, all right, are you good?
	Should you do this?
	Do you know the Constitution?
	What's your experience?
	This decision seemed controversial.
	What were you thinking there?
	Oh, okay.
	I get it now.
	All right, she's in.
	They just talked through her because she's got black kids and she's perfect.
	She's Jesus Christ.
	There's nothing bad you can say about her.
	Zero controversy.
	She never raped anyone.
	And so they just used it as a place to talk about Obamacare.
	It was bizarre.
	And then, of course, Christopher Columbus statue is being removed in Syracuse because I think the general narrative is that he came to America in the 1600s with slaves, killed all the Indians,
	and then built America with slavery.
	I wonder how many people think that's the story.
	Especially young people.
	I bet it's 40%.
	I thought the Chinese built the railroads with the bones of African slaves.
	I've never heard that one.
	And then the Polish were dead.
	Every time I think of those coolies, the Chinese that built the railroads, I just think, is there anyone who got less pussy than a Chinaman in the Wild West?
	Poor guys.
	But here's the story.
	The story is he was great for Spain.
	He was an Italian guy from Genova, Italy.
	Fantastic navigator.
	First across the ocean, or definitely before the Native Americans.
	He got to the Caribbean, and he was pretty rough with them because they were rough.
	They would chop Spaniards' hands off and eat Spaniards.
	They would chop out their tongues for stealing from them.
	That was the vocabulary back then.
	It was grim.
	It was a horrific time.
	Anyway, I think he also came with diseases, normal diseases that we have immunity for.
	I think he infected the Indians there accidentally.
	And I believe that that infection went up through Central America, up to the West Coast, and was the equivalent of the Black Plague of Indians.
	And I think it killed 80% of Indigenous peoples of America, Central America, and the Caribbean, maybe even South America.
	That is my theory.
	And so the Indians that when we got here, we were pretty much equally numbered.
	Whereas before we got here, there was massive numbers.
	And people think that's evidence that we killed them all.
	No.
	We had the plague in Europe.
	They had their own plague that came from us.
	And so he, you know, traded spice and he was great for mainland Europe and great for Western civilization in that sense.
	But I feel like in America, we should be more, obviously, don't touch his statue.
	He's an incredible human being.
	What a navigator.
	What a talent.
	Knight of Columbus.
	I'm a Knight of Columbus.
	But I feel like in America, we should be celebrating the first people who came here, which is those two settlements, the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock, and then the Colonial Williamsburg English.
	It was around the same time, I believe, 16, whatever.
	When was the Plymouth Rock?
	And they both started America.
	I guess we do celebrate them every Thanksgiving.
	But Italianos, enjoy your Columbus.
	You're awesome.
	In a general Western sense, yes, Chris Columbus.
	But as far as Americans go, I really think...
	1620.
	1620s.
	And I think the other one was around the same time, like three years earlier or something.
	Colonial Williamsburg.
	They went there.
	They go, Spain owns this, but they're not here.
	Let's just go mine a bunch and then leave.
	It was a robbery expedition.
	But then they discovered tobacco and they said, let's just stay.
	Didn't they say that the Norse were here?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I've heard that a million times.
	What if the Indians took over America from the Norse?
	From the Nords?
	No, the Indians were here before the Nords.
	Oh, they were.
	I see.
	You'll notice my cute little souvenirs.
	I got these at the Nickelodeon store.
	There was about equal anti-Biden, anti-Trump stuff.
	Where I was driving around, I've been seeing lawn signs.
	It's about 50-50 Biden-Trump, which is a concern.
	But I am in, I'm talking about Washington, Virginia, not rural Virginia, but like 95, like pretty middle-class areas.
	But I got this Biden toilet paper we'll be using in the studio.
	That's fun.
	And I got this thing because Trump stretches the truth.
	When I was a kid, Stretch Armstrong was the coolest guy in the world, and he was tough.
	Yeah.
	And the weird thing on the box, too, is it says, stretch the truth, novelty toys, stretch him.
	But then on the back, it says, voted best stress relief toy by millions of illegal voters.
	Yeah, so wait, what?
	So whose side is this on?
	Whose side is this on?
	I think they're just trying to maximize sales.
	Right.
	And the beauty of living in a time that is the red dress, black dress, where you can look at the same thing, the same debate, and both sides think they won is you can sell a toy like this and you can have things like stretch the truth and then put this on the back and people like yeah I got this awesome toy sort of like if you made a Trump Darth Vader toy and they go the left would like it because he's evil and he rules the dark side and
	then we also got this fun thing.
	Let's see how the audio plays.
	So, say I don't know something.
	Like, for example, this fire drone.
	What the fuck is this?
	I saw this on Faith Goldie's Telegram.
	A drone that's shooting fire down.
	Why does this exist?
	And why can't I find any information about it?
	Every time you look this up, you just see drone footage of the fire.
	No, the fire drone.
	It's shooting fire at the forest in Oregon.
	What does the caption say?
	Here's the fire drone video that Twitter, Google, and YouTube didn't want us to see.
	Police investigated the origin of this video.
	It shoots fire down.
	Now, I understand you do controlled fires sometimes.
	So maybe that's what it's invented for.
	But this looks really fucking suspicious.
	This looks like someone starting the fires on purpose in Oregon.
	Domestic terrorism.
	So you go, I don't know.
	I'd appreciate it.
	The viewers could help me discover what the fuck that is.
	Maybe we can solve it next show.
	But if you're confused about something now, we'll just use the Trump button.
	See?
	It's got his face on it.
	So, wildfires.
	I mean, sorry, the fire drones.
	What the fuck are those?
	Nobody can do that like me.
	Wow.
	So Trump did it.
	Trump started those fires.
	Or whoever's doing it isn't doing a good job, and he would do better.
	Oh, so we're no farther ahead.
	We just know he'd be better at it.
	Let's try again.
	Should we try again?
	Sure.
	Maybe more specific.
	Trump button.
	Who started the fires?
	The left or the right?
	We got to put it up to the mic a little more.
	Huge, huge mistake.
	I just want them to suffer.
	Whoa.
	So Trump did the fires, folks.
	You heard it here first.
	He just admitted to it.
	Because he wanted suffering.
	All right, we're all over the place.
	I'm already sick of that sign.
	I'm sick of stretchy Trump.
	I'm sick of my new bobblehead.
	I told the Bronx story.
	Very disturbing.
	Here's another disturbing story I can't seem to figure out.
	So the McCloskeys were accused.
	This is one for.
	The McCloskeys were accused after their arrest of, they said, turn in your guns.
	So they handed in their guns and they're inoperable.
	In other words, she was shooting basically the equivalent of a toy gun at people, which that charge I think is menacing.
	It's not a big deal.
	The pin was in front of the thing.
	So they get charged with tampering with guns and like fucking up the guns before they handed them in.
	But how do you know that?
	That always confused me.
	How can you tell that after she had a working gun, she secretly recalibrated it and then handed it in?
	You'd have to see her do that to know she did that.
	And then it comes out that when the police, the FBI, whatever, got those guns, they noticed they were inoperable, so they fixed them, made them operable, and then charged them with making them inoperable.
	So that's worse, that's like what they did, or they're accusing them of doing.
	So they're constrained.
	Wow.
	St. Louis prosecutors tampered with Patricia McCloskey's gun before charges were made against the St. Louis couple earlier this week.
	Do you think you've proved that she made the gun inoperable by you making it operable?
	That doesn't make any sense.
	And then if you look next to you, there's the Denver shooting.
	That's my next subject.
	Denver local news bodyguard who killed Trump supporter bragged about harassing and confronting conservatives in the past.
	So there's a lot to unpack with this story.
	First, we'll see what Trump says.
	You're not a nice person.
	That's so true.
	That is true.
	So let's see Sean King's take, because he's always got the hot take.
	He always knows what's going on.
	Fascist confronts local NBC News security guard.
	Fascist, thank you for spelling it right, Sean, then slaps and assaults the security guard.
	Fascist then sprays bear mace at the guard.
	Guard then shoots fascist.
	Fascist dies from gunshot from security guard.
	He's a fascist.
	He's actually a sweet old man who used to make cowboy hats from scratch.
	All the different types of cowboy hats, working with the felt, steaming it, cutting it, pressing it.
	I mean, it's a rare trade.
	It's not an easy thing to make a cowboy hat.
	But he would make them.
	He was that kind of guy.
	Good old-fashioned American vet.
	And here's what really happened.
	W-9, or whatever they're called, the news place, was seen fraternizing with this guy who was wearing a black guns matter shirt.
	Right?
	So that's the guy who did the shooting.
	Yes, he was left-wing.
	I don't think that's the proper route to take.
	I think it's more interesting that this guy, I believe, was hired.
	The black guy with the black guns matter shirt was hired to start a confrontation, get beat up, get in a fight.
	They're going to give him, the producer is probably going to give him what, like 500 bucks?
	I'll pay you 500 bucks to get punched in the face at this.
	And then we can have a Trump supporter punching a black man.
	Because one of the big, the two big giveaways are one, and this was on Tucker last night.
	He was seen in a huddle with the producer, this black guy, before the confrontation happened.
	So clearly he was saying, I have to be careful legally here.
	He was likely saying something like, okay, you're going to go over there, just starting shit with them, get them all riled up, maybe they can punch you and we'll get the shot.
	I think they were creating the news.
	Because I don't think the black guy knows what Black Guns Matter means.
	Black Guns Matter is a right-wing group.
	That's Maj Ture.
	I had him on my show on CRTV.
	They are a pro-2A group, pro-Second Amendment.
	So let's show me the footage of him.
	Going nuts?
	Look at this guy.
	They're not doing anything, and he's determined to get a fight going.
	Show me this!
	Show me, motherfucker!
	Show me that!
	Don't fucking touch me!
	Touch me one more time!
	Go get it!
	Next person to fucking touch me, man!
	Makes me!
	Fucking makes me violent!
	Hold up to me, he fucking makes me, nigga!
	Makes me, motherfucker!
	Makes me, motherfucker!
	Fucking makes me!
	That's the guy who was killed with the hat, the the bucket hat, whatever it fish is.
	what's it called?
	Boony cap?
	Boony cap.
	Don't fucking touch me, man.
	Don't fucking touch me.
	See, that's a fight.
	Fuck around and find out.
	Fuck around and find out.
	That's our thing.
	Fuck around.
	Oh.
	See how fast that was?
	Damn.
	Show it again.
	Fucking chop up.
	Got a knife to turn.
	So fucking tough.
	As soon as the mace came out, he shoots the guy.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	So what happened in the background there was that guy went over to the dude, the security guard, and he was like, get back, get back.
	And he goes, fuck off.
	And he slaps him.
	And after he slaps him, the guy just pulls a gun and shoots him right through the eye into his brain.
	So they're trying to say that NBC hired an Antifa bodyguard.
	Most people, you know, 50% of the country has left-wing posts.
	And I didn't see any blatant Antifa things.
	Unlike the people planning to kidnap the governor.
	Where is that now?
	Where did I put that?
	26.
	26?
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	So she's saying, yeah, it was Proud Boys who tried to kidnap me.
	And the Trumps calls them very fine people.
	He tells them to stand down and stand by.
	And then they were going to kidnap me, rape me, kill me.
	And you go, oh, shit.
	And remember on Thursday, I said, if this is right-wing violence, I'm going to call it out.
	I'm not scared.
	But of course, look at the guy.
	Look at 2-7.
	Media calls militia out to kidnap Michigan governor right-wing, but members are connected to anarchists.
	Now, this, unlike the shooter in Denver, is much more Antifa.
	The big plug earrings, that's a big Antifa thing.
	And obviously, their fucking logo on his wall.
	That's a doozy that he makes sure is in every live stream he does.
	This guy is a radical left-wing Antifa anarchist.
	What was that pic I sent you?
	Nicholas Christoph, a right-wing militia planned to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan and put her on trial.
	Will President Trump speak up forcely about such terrorists?
	Or will he tell them to stand down and stand by?
	And then, what's his name?
	I can't see it, Ryan.
	Says, who tweeted that?
	You can't zoom out anymore?
	Oh, no.
	Right-wing guys don't have Antifa anarchist flags on their walls.
	Okay, true.
	So I think the takeaway with the Denver shooting is not really Antifa related.
	Yes, he was left-wing.
	Yes, he probably hated Patriots.
	That probably made him biased.
	But I think the takeaway is that the news was trying to create the news.
	They brought in an agitator, probably paid him to agitate.
	And what happened?
	Shit got heated and someone got killed.
	So in that sense, the producer should be on trial.
	If you hire someone to go and pick fights and someone dies at said event, you should go to jail.
	Right?
	It's just like we keep using the analogy, if I convince Ryan to come with me and rob a bank and I get killed, he's in big trouble because he willfully attended a crime event and someone died.
	That's true.
	My wife likes to listen to K-E-XP in the morning.
	It's called John in the Morning, John in the Morning.
	And because, and it's been going on for like 13 years, it's part of her routine.
	She has her coffee.
	He plays modern alternative stuff, but also plays like the Pixies and stuff that, you know, she grew up with.
	And it was probably the most popular show in hipsterdom.
	But because of Black Lives Matter now, John in the Morning doesn't start till 10 when everyone's already started their day.
	No one's still puttering around at 10 unless they're Ryan Catsu River.
	Hello.
	Like normal people, not losers.
	Rock stars.
	So now they have this guy, Mike Ramos, and he plays soul and rap and just black music.
	And he's probably the blackest guy they have.
	And he looks like he's white.
	But I guess because he has a Hispanic sounding last name, that's their affirmative action.
	And the guy just plays like rap.
	There he is.
	What the fucking.
	He said a lesbian woman.
	And he is the worst DJ on earth, but he plays hip-hop.
	And they want to be more woke.
	So the alternative stuff doesn't start till 10.
	And it's all woke black music till 10.
	He is the worst fucking DJ I've ever listened to in my life.
	You know how I just had that pause there for a second?
	That's what it reminded me of.
	There's pauses.
	I tried to record it, but he doesn't talk much.
	He's just playing soul after fucking gospel after R ⁇ B after rap.
	And Seattle rap is very specific.
	It's like real scientific analytical backpack rap.
	And you don't really want to have that when you wake up at 8 a.m.
	And the pauses, he'll say, that was Soul Sisters.
	Record came out.
	I want to say like 10, 11 years ago.
	Really, really weird.
	I don't even know how to describe it.
	It's just really weird.
	I remember when it came out thinking, you know, these guys are going to be around for a long time.
	And they're still going now, 2020, 10 years later.
	What are you showing?
	This is your bed music for your radio show.
	Oh, right.
	What are you doing?
	And so now my wife, after 13 years of doing that, she's just like, well, I'm not doing that anymore.
	Get woke, go broke.
	It's like, it's really about shame, right?
	They want you to be ashamed of how white your music is and atone for your sins.
	So they're atoning for their sins by getting some boring fucking loser on.
	Did you hear Bill Berg's SNL monologue on Saturday?
	You didn't?
	I didn't.
	It's Really, really good, but everyone's really, really pissed.
	And actually, they think it was too right-wing.
	I didn't like it because it was too politically correct.
	He's clearly getting heavily influenced by his super liberal black wife.
	And the jokes are, well, let's just watch a bit.
	Ah, Jude, how you doing?
	Thank you.
	Thank you so much.
	Thank you.
	I am so excited to be here.
	I have been doing stand-up forever, and this has always been a lifelong dream of mine to come here and host Saturday Live.
	So thank you so much for coming out.
	Coming out.
	The only place a person who plays saxophone could be employed anywhere in America.
	You guys all look like surgeons with your masks on.
	Makes me feel comfortable that you're wearing masks.
	I like people who wear masks.
	That's good.
	You're listening to the eggheads, the people we all cheated off of in high school, right?
	Keep listening to them.
	And then if you don't wear a mask, that doesn't bug me either, right?
	Take out your grandparents.
	You know?
	Take out your weak cousin with the asthma.
	I don't care.
	It's your decision.
	There's too many people.
	It's a dream come true.
	If you're that dumb and you want to kill your own family members, he's pro-mask, so I'm a right-wing guy offended.
	Pro-freedom, too, to not wear the mask, but I don't like where he's going with it.
	Producing.
	It's literally a dream come true.
	And speaking of dreams come true, did you see Rick Moranis got sucker punched on the Upper West Side?
	New York is back, baby.
	New York is back.
	Yes!
	Pure burr.
	Quality burr.
	Oh, Ricky took one in the chops.
	It had to happen.
	Took one in the chops.
	Ricky liked changing the name and chops.
	It's a fun little thing.
	The universe has to balance itself.
	Get the peep shows back in Times Square.
	Oh, people can walk safely 40 blocks away.
	I don't know.
	I'll probably get canceled for doing that joke.
	How stupid is that cancel thing?
	They're literally running out of people to cancel.
	They're going after dead people now.
	They're trying to cancel John Wayne.
	It's like, yeah, dude, God did that 40 years ago.
	They're all up in arms.
	Did you hear what he said?
	In that interview in Playboy in 1970?
	Can you believe that?
	It's like, yeah.
	He was born in 1907.
	That's what these people sounded like.
	You never talked to your grandparents and brought up the wrong subject, and all of a sudden it went off the rails.
	Oh, grandma.
	Just keep making the cookies.
	Yeah, you don't bring up race or religion with your grandparents.
	You keep it simple.
	Anyway, I know.
	I guess my grandparents are older.
	I don't know.
	Plowing ahead.
	Plowing ahead.
	Let's talk white women here, shall we?
	Let's talk white women.
	White women, amazing, amazing, your accomplishments over the last few years.
	I got to tell you, the way white women somehow hijacked the woke movement, generals around the world should be analyzing this.
	Just to refresh your memory, the woke movement was supposed to be about people of color not getting opportunities, the at-bats that they deserved, finally making that happen.
	Just who resents white women the most in America?
	White women?
	Also white women?
	Black women.
	Oh, boy.
	They don't like when black women show up at their things.
	They don't like when gay.
	Black people in general don't like when gays show up to Black Lives Matter and say, yeah, equality for us too.
	And they're like, uh, what are you doing here?
	You were never a slave.
	You're a gay.
	You are gay.
	You eat the poo-poo.
	Why are you here?
	What are you doing here?
	She just swung their Gucci-booted feet over the fence of oppression.
	Men don't mad at Gucci boots.
	We think they look sexy.
	Stuck themselves at the front of the line.
	I don't know how they did it.
	I've never heard so much complaining in my life from white women.
	My name is going to hurt.
	Trash and white guys, the nerve.
	Where's the camera?
	The nerve of you white women.
	Let me, listen, I don't want to speak ill of my bitches here, okay?
	I know.
	But let's go back in history here, okay?
	You guys stood by us toxic white males through centuries of our crimes against humanity.
	You rolled around in the blood muddy.
	We had crimes against humanity.
	We were horrible people as white guys.
	Our toxic masculinity being shut up, sit down next to me and take your talking to him.
	Thank you.
	Yay, white women suck.
	Remember that?
	Hold on a sec.
	Remember that after Trump won, there was a big, like, white woman, what have you done?
	And white women need to answer for their role in this, in electing Trump.
	And a lot of black women holding signs saying, like, white women need to apologize or whatever.
	We need to recognize the influence white women had on this election.
	It was a big thing.
	Picking on white women.
	That's why I stopped saying Karen.
	I do kind of remember that, yeah.
	Anyway, go back to his monologue.
	Because this is the next part is what got him into big trouble.
	Been in New York for about a year.
	You know, I was here last year.
	I was shooting a movie.
	Had a great time with Judd Appetow, Pete Davidson, and all the guys.
	Yeah, had a great time.
	You liked that movie, right?
	Yeah, I thought it was pretty good.
	13 years, and I immediately noticed how extra crowded this city was.
	I was getting all claustrophobic.
	I'm like, what's going on?
	How much people not using safe sex and making all these babies, you know?
	So I finally walked up to this old New York door guy and I was just like, dude, what's going on?
	What's with all these people here?
	And he was just like, oh, no, no, no, don't worry.
	He goes, it's June.
	He goes, it's Pride Month.
	And I'm like, what's that?
	You know, I'm 52.
	I never heard of it, right?
	Didn't have that when I was a kid.
	He goes, oh, it's Gay Pride Month.
	And I was just like, oh.
	Dude, you know when you're just like stuck in the matrix and you just can't, everything's just pressed up, you can't see anything.
	And then somebody gives you that little nugget of information that just pulls it back?
	Like, why is it so crowded?
	It's Gay Pride Month.
	TikToks!
	0% body fat!
	Two guys kissing!
	Rainbow flags!
	Ah!
	I didn't know that!
	That's what I learned.
	The month of June is Gay Pride Month.
	That's a little long, don't you think?
	For a group of people that were never enslaved.
	He's becoming a black comedian.
	He's like, white woman, what did you ever do?
	You affected our movement.
	We was slaves.
	We was kings.
	And now he's like, motherfucking gays got a whole monk.
	And in June, shit.
	I was a slave for 400 years.
	I got motherfucking February.
	Yeah.
	Well, he used to do Def Jam and all the black circuits and stuff like that.
	Remember the black shows?
	Yeah.
	He was the ginger guy amongst Tommy Davidson and all this stuff.
	Dude, black people were actually enslaved.
	They get February.
	They get 28 days of overcast weather.
	Sun goes down at 4 in the afternoon.
	Everybody's shivering.
	Nobody wants to go on the parade.
	So that's why he's in trouble.
	Because he said that June is too fun and long for the gays.
	Isn't there...
	What's Juneteenth?
	That's celebrating the black right to vote, right, on June 19th?
	What did you think of that monologue, Ryan?
	You're a comedy fan.
	I was all right, dude.
	I mean, I don't know.
	I don't know how to do his, like, his, you know, his voice.
	I'm just trying to think about how to do his voice the whole time.
	You know, it didn't really make me laugh.
	I mean, there was some fun.
	I like seeing him have fun, but, you know, I didn't think it was that funny.
	But I enjoy him.
	Just kind of.
	I was offended.
	I didn't like the masks are going to kill you bullshit.
	You sound like Howard Stern.
	I didn't like the white women.
	Fuck white women.
	They shouldn't be part of any kind of social justice movement.
	I didn't like the white people stole everything.
	And I didn't like the bringing up slavery in February isn't good enough.
	I did like the Pride Month is ridiculous.
	And that's about it.
	So he's left wing.
	He's a liberal.
	You could tell he's afraid.
	Like he's afraid to say something too crazy.
	You know?
	You ever know that?
	The Rick Moranis bit was perfect Bill Burr.
	That was not his black wife.
	The rest was his black wife.
	Because it wasn't apologetic.
	He's becoming a black female comedian.
	This is a guy who nailed it.
	He's becoming Tiffany Hadish.
	Oh, that was brilliant because I was offended by this.
	And I also thought it was hilarious.
	Because he said, these pedophiles, they fuck a kid.
	And you're going to ruin your life, the kid's life, everyone's life.
	You're going to jail.
	You're going to get killed in jail.
	It must feel really good.
	It must be really worth it.
	Yeah.
	To be worth all that.
	Yeah, that was a great one because it seemed like he didn't care, you know?
	And that's the first time in my life, I think, I was genuinely offended to my core, pissed off, and laughing at the same time.
	Carlin used to do that.
	That's the only other person, but you're right.
	I disagree with him on religion and golf.
	He shout on golf and I was like, fuck you, but haha.
	Golf is awesome.
	You know, oh, here's the thing.
	I went played golf on the weekend and I wasn't near my home.
	So I had to go to this, a non-members thing, and it was on an army base.
	So it was the most blacks I've ever seen playing golf in my life.
	It was probably like 30% blacks.
	And so we're at the driving range and I'm listening to people.
	And I noticed, especially with younger white men, I suck was just a common refrain.
	Fuck me, you stupid piece of shit.
	And I'm garbage.
	I'm fucking garbage.
	I don't know if it's because I'm hungover.
	I suck shit.
	And I remember as a kid, my dad would like be banging his club in the green going, you fucking asshole, James.
	You asshole.
	Fuck me.
	And when people ask my dad about his game, he goes, it's pathetic.
	Pathetic.
	I'm one of the worst players I've ever been around.
	And you never hear that from blacks.
	Like a black guy at the driving range will just ground it and it'll go eight feet and he won't do anything.
	He'll just like get the next ball.
	But the white guys will be going, can you believe how shit I am?
	I've been playing this my whole life and I'm fucking garbage.
	And I bet you it's the same with Japanese.
	I bet they don't self-deprecate.
	I bet Hispanics don't.
	White people love to shit on themselves.
	And maybe that's why Christianity did so well as a religion because we like to self-flagellate.
	I noticed that with video games too.
	It's like, yeah, like my friend BK and Larry would throw their controllers and tell themselves they suck.
	And then I remember a lot of black friends just being like, yo, that's bullshit.
	And they blame the game.
	It's the game's fault.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, this is bullshit.
	I'm being fucked over.
	Yeah, I noticed that with my son and his friends, when they fuck up, they call it a glitch.
	Right, yeah, yeah.
	It's not like that.
	Like God screwed up the program.
	Stupid game.
	Even when we play pool, which is just simple physics, they go, what a glitch.
	So God was like, hey, anyway, are you going to...
	Oh, fuck.
	I forgot the pool game.
	I don't know.
	Red ball in?
	Was it a red ball?
	No, God, pay attention to my pool game.
	You're making me look like I'm not good at pool.
	Let's do a little Biden dip, shall we?
	He said in a speech.
	Ali Alexander is on this whole thing about how he Has Parkinson's, and I think it's really interesting.
	But Trump was 1-7.
	Trump is like, this guy has dementia.
	And it's quite possible that both Allie and Trump are right.
	He has Parkinson's and dementia.
	Wait, that's not the right one.
	Dimensionsons.
	That's the wrong one.
	I think it's the front page of the Daily Mail.
	I think it's the top story.
	Maybe Daily Mail UK.
	Probably have that bookmarked.
	Oh, I see what they do.
	I click the link as the cover story, but when the cover story changes, then the link changes.
	That's weird.
	That makes sense.
	Keep going down.
	It'll be up there.
	There we go.
	Trump says Biden has dementia and it's rapidly getting worse after he forgets that Mormon senator met Romney's name and again says he's running for Senate.
	Yeah, so now go back up to 1.6.
	He says he's running for Senate.
	I'm not good with American politics, but I know the difference between a senator and a president.
	I'm running as a proud Democrat for the Senate.
	You know, we have to come together in the United States.
	I'm running as a proud Democrat.
	Benny Johnson, this is just sad.
	Benny's on fucking fire these days.
	I knew him when he was starting out.
	Very fun guy to get a beer with.
	But since he had a kid, he's just like, he did that commercial with that chick in the red dress walking through Baltimore.
	And he just did a new one now that Trump retweeted where this guy running, little tough-looking little veteran dude, goes to Maxine Waters' mansion and says, Maxine does not live here.
	And it's the same kind of commercial.
	It's him walking.
	I'm telling you guys, if you want to make money, get your shit together, you want your career to take off, keep going.
	Have a baby.
	Nothing gets you off the couch.
	There it is.
	There it is.
	I'm Joe Collins.
	I'm running for Congress against Maxine Waters.
	Do you know where I am right now?
	Maxine Waters' $6 million mansion.
	Do you know where I'm not right now?
	Maxine Waters District.
	Yep, that's right.
	Maxine does not live in her district, but I do.
	I was born right here in South LA, in a place Maxine refuses to live.
	Maxine Waters does not drink our water.
	She does not breathe our air.
	And while she sits here in her mansion, our district is in ruins.
	Let me show you.
	I'm not a fan of the shoes.
	This is South LA.
	I was born here.
	I said you were born here twice.
	Maxine Waters has been in office 44 years.
	Has anything got better around here?
	I can tell you firsthand that it hasn't.
	I survived the drive-by shooting in this house when I was a child.
	That was my upbringing.
	And where was Maxine Waters?
	Nowhere to be found.
	I survived Maxine's district.
	Graduated high school.
	Went to want to join the U.S. Navy.
	I fuck for this country.
	But while I was fighting for this country, Maxine Waters could not be bothered to fight for her own district here in America.
	And when I returned from war, I came back to my community as a war zone.
	And why doesn't Maxine Waters want to live in her own district?
	Because she doesn't.
	She's rich.
	Why is she rich, though?
	Why do politicians who make 200 grand a year worth hundreds of millions of dollars?
	That should be a documentary in and of itself right there.
	Anyway, tangent.
	Check out Joe Biden saying breasts instead of best.
	Everywhere I've been hearing all around the country.
	You're trying your breast, but it never feels like enough.
	Everywhere I've been hearing all around the country.
	His wife, after she said that, his wife looked down at her tits and she felt terrible.
	It's not enough, is it?
	They are pretty small.
	And then you have number one nine, Newt Gengrich, saying that he should do the Rogan show.
	Of course he should.
	And of course he won't.
	It's a top one.
	But what's below that?
	Bob DeBono.
	Best Trump impression probably ever.
	That's what they call it.
	Terrible audio.
	Great audio.
	He's been shitting on Trump lately.
	I don't like that.
	I fucking hate it.
	So he makes his bones doing this, and then he shits on it.
	It's terrible.
	What a dick.
	It really takes the fun out of it.
	Yeah.
	Okay, go back.
	So to 1.9.
	Newt Gingrich, man who's not allowed to mention Soros.
	President Trump should replace the Commission's canceled second debate by accepting Joe Rogan's offer and inviting Biden to join them.
	Let Biden choose the topics and 20-foot social spacing.
	Give Biden no excuse to say no.
	Everyone's talking about the Dems packing the Supreme Court, meaning increasing the number of Supreme Court justices so they can then again have a majority.
	It's been nine, I think, for like 100 years.
	I do think that's their intention.
	I don't think they'll be able to do that.
	You can't just make it so.
	Checks and balances, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay, let's do a little bit on the Lincoln Project.
	They want me to go back to Africa where I came from.
	This is 2-3?
	Oh, no, no, no.
	Let's not do 2-3.
	2-4.
	Okay, 2-4.
	The Lincoln Project were on 60 Minutes last night, and it was...
	60 Minutes, just stop for a second.
	60 Minutes is just pure propaganda.
	Even a story about grizzly bears is somehow linked to climate change and Donald Trump.
	Every single story is about how America's worse off with Donald Trump, no matter how far off it starts.
	It could be about how wonderful China is and how mean he is for saying the virus started there.
	And of course, they devote the first part of the show to the Lincoln Project.
	And show that picture, by the way, again, that Benny put up where he goes, this is a before picture for a hair loss commercial.
	Are you just about ready there?
	This is the before photo of every ad for weight loss and male pattern baldness on local access.
	So that's the Lincoln Project, and it's what's his name?
	Is it Bill Crystal?
	I forget his name.
	But it's all these loser, never Trumpers who wouldn't have a career if it wasn't for shitting on Trump because the left loves them because they go, look, even the right hates him.
	But they're not.
	They're rhinos, Republicans in name only.
	Look at their weak body language.
	You can see the seven-year-olds who are wedged in elementary school.
	Look at their hands.
	So uncomfortable with themselves.
	Fucking loser traitors, pussies, Uncle Toms.
	That's what they are.
	But anyway, let's hear their plan to deport me.
	Make it full screen.
	Wait, go back, go back.
	Maybe I should have green screened this.
	How long is it?
	Too late?
	43 seconds.
	Oh, that's too short.
	So wait, go back to the tweet.
	You got to see the setup here.
	Thought of the day.
	If Gavin McInnes was named Ahmad, how soon would he be deported?
	So they managed to throw in a bit of calling Americans Islamophobes while they deport me.
	Ryan, can you stop fucking around, please?
	We can't read it.
	You're in too close.
	These are the Proud Boys.
	The FBI categorizes the Proud Boys as an extremist group with ties to white nationalism.
	That's not true.
	He will kill you.
	That's the Proud Boys in a nutshell.
	We will kill you.
	We look nice.
	We seem soft.
	We have boys in our name.
	But like Bill the Butcher and the Bowery boys, we will assassinate you.
	Proud boys.
	Stand back and stand by.
	Yeah, everyone gives me shit too for that verbiage.
	There was Enrique Tario did a long live, whatever you call it, with Tim Poole.
	And Tim Poole was like, well, here, let's find it.
	I think it's in the notes.
	Where is it now?
	I can't get mad at it.
	I'm reading as I talk.
	Where the fuck?
	Yeah, we'll check my parlor.
	Okay.
	Lincoln Project, Proud Boys.
	About the Kidnap, we already got that.
	Brianna Taylor.
	Totally fake interview.
	Martyr.
	There it is.
	Click on that.
	So in about the middle, Tim Poole says, why don't you just, like, Gavin Ruz Tim Poole seems to really want to trivialize my accomplishments.
	He says he started Vice News, which started in about, like, we merged with CNN, I think, in 04.
	He worked there six years later for two years when it had already been totally established.
	It already was HBO News.
	He's like, yeah, I created it at some white ante.
	He does the bald thing that the Edge does in U2, where we're supposed to pretend that we think his head is cold all summer.
	Lesson, I have delay pedals and reverb that makes me sound like icicles, man.
	Go into the middle, like 62% in.
	There's some overlap between domain.
	It's almost like a zombie apocalypse when the zombies have finally eaten everybody.
	There's no one left to eat, so they got to eat themselves.
	When cancel culture was coming after everybody and they canceled everybody.
	Not have to worry too much.
	So things he said, and he's gone way over the line.
	And with the history of the Proud Boys and the early on mistakes, why keep using the name that's been smeared and tainted and has this past and these associations?
	Why not just do something different?
	Make a different group.
	Get rid of all of these things explicitly.
	Because why would we want to play their game?
	Why would we want to play on their battlefield and be like, oh, well.
	Why would they play on their battlefield?
	He sounds like an American Indian.
	Why would we play their game?
	They say that this name is bad, so let's change it.
	That to me is bending a knee.
	That to me is...
	Those who bend knees.
	Like bending to the mob.
	That's like a wounded knee.
	That has labeled us all these things that have been false.
	Like I said before, we're not everybody's cup of tea, but this isn't about everybody.
	This is about us.
	And us as a brotherhood, we put our God, if you're a religious man, our family, and our country, and then comes a brotherhood as an auxiliary thing.
	But that doesn't mean that any of those are something that we're willing to do.
	Anyway, you can watch that on your own time.
	It's a really good interview.
	Enrique did an awesome job.
	Weird.
	But Tim Poole was like, yeah, he's gone way overboard, way over the top.
	And then out of the thousands of hours I'm recorded, I did say that once, where Bill the Butcher will assassinate you.
	This is the verbiage of the time.
	Tim Kaine, who was Hillary Clinton's running mate, he was almost the vice president of the United States, said, we need to fight them in the streets.
	We constantly hear about Trump.
	I want him to die.
	We have Snoop Dogg pulling a gun on the president.
	We have comedians holding his bloody head.
	This is the verbiage.
	But when we say it, when we talk like that, well, let's shut down the organization and change the name of the club and throw two men in prison.
	It's a different set of rules.
	We have to be perfect.
	We can't swear, but they can fucking turn the world upside down.
	And it's the same with this bullshit about rioting.
	Antifa has explicitly said they are going to burn.
	They've published their plan.
	Look at this: 3-0.
	They've said if Trump wins, this fucking country's going to burn.
	And we've heard people say this, by the way.
	Celebrities have said that.
	There's no secrets about this.
	It said, we are going to burn America to the ground.
	And I think it was Reza Aslan said that, yeah, we're going to burn this country to the ground if Trump wins.
	Left-wing radicals post online guide to disrupting the country if the election is so close.
	Is close.
	Look at that.
	But what does the media focus on?
	Proud boys might do something bad.
	They might kidnap a governor.
	By the way, that episode of Tim Kaine is unlisted.
	Weird.
	So only if you have the link.
	I don't know when that happened.
	Oh, you can't find that Tim Kaine link.
	Tim Poole.
	Tim Poole.
	So Tim Kane you could find, but yeah, it's unlisted.
	Show us, show us.
	There we go.
	Ryan, show the theme.
	Just to have a PR style.
	So that's...
	It's their second biggest one.
	Streamed live 16 hours ago, but then when you go to videos.
	Boop.
	So it's on that homepage there, but if you go to the videos.
	Yeah, I know.
	Two weeks ago.
	38 minutes ago.
	I wonder if we could see it because we just clicked it.
	Yeah, it's weird.
	Unlisted.
	Huh.
	What are those other videos on unlisted?
	Timpool's making a fortune with YouTube, but...
	What if they shut him down?
	What does he do then?
	I don't know, man.
	I don't care.
	I don't care.
	Let him come for me.
	Did you see the BLM thing?
	No.
	And Proud Boys?
	Oh, they met?
	They unified to denounce white supremacy.
	They did like a thing.
	Yeah, someone sent me that.
	Looks like a...
	What does it mean?
	Like, that's the thing.
	And that's what Enrique was saying.
	So we meet with Black Lives Matter.
	We become best friends.
	We merge.
	Proud Lives Matter.
	That's not going to change the narrative.
	And the proof of this is the way they talk about everyone.
	Like, look, Keith Oberman just did this rant about who we have to kill, who has to go to jail, who is, you know, who's a plague.
	Look at 3.5.
	Oh, I found the initial.
	The hate he has triggered, the Pandora's box he has opened, they will not be so easily destroyed.
	So let us brace ourselves.
	Uses Anthony's background.
	That's the same Google image that Anthony's Anthony Coombs show.
	Yeah.
	Task is twofold.
	The terrorist Trump must be defeated, must be destroyed, must be devoured at the ballot box.
	And then he and his enablers and his supporters and his collaborators and the Mike Lees and the William Barrs and the Sean Hannity's and the Mike Pence's and the Rudy Giulianis and the Kyle Rittenhouses and the Amy Coney Barretts must be prosecuted and convicted and removed from our society while we try to...
	So this is what I mean.
	They are insatiable.
	Well, you can just close it now.
	They're insatiable.
	So he, like you say, Gavin, don't use such coarse language.
	Could you be more pure than Amy Barrett?
	She's an angel.
	And the left, and Keith represents them, wants her expunged, thrown in prison.
	I remember when the shit was really hitting the fan, my wife said, can't you be more normal like Tucker Carlson?
	And then they went to his house and attacked him and his wife was locked in the pantry.
	And I went, hmm.
	You see?
	They want Sean Hannity sent to jail.
	That was this, by the way.
	Yeah, I know.
	Keith Oberman sounds like he's got a lot of spit in his mouth.
	Doesn't he?
	Maybe when his wife fucks him, she spits in his mouth.
	They will not be so easily destroyed.
	So easily destroyed.
	Did you see these Breonna Taylor pictures going around?
	The narrative is always wrong.
	Look at this.
	What does it say in the top?
	How he coming behind me.
	How he coming behind me.
	Yo, I'm going to shoot people if they try to fuck with you.
	And then she poses with his gun, too.
	Partners in crime.
	Perfect.
	Perfect.
	She was not an innocent Uno player having a nap.
	She was also a drug dealer.
	Your boyfriend's dealing drugs.
	You're dealing drugs.
	People come by when he's not there.
	You're holding the money.
	Let me just get this Proud Boy stuff out of the way.
	There was this court clerk discussion amongst court clerks, and I thought this is interesting because this is inside our justice system.
	This is how they talk to each other.
	This is at the top of Proud Boys.
	It's those three pictures there.
	They're out of order.
	Gotcha.
	That's fun.
	Is this going particularly slow today?
	So go to the first page.
	I know this is a clerk website.
	The men accused of killing, kidnapping, killing, blah, blah, blah.
	Unconscionable.
	You know I was an Irish Catholic, just like Timothy McVeigh.
	So Irish Catholics are terrorists.
	It takes years before someone was executed.
	He was executed quickly because he didn't contest his execution.
	He said, I did it.
	Kill me.
	Anyway, he's saying that we hide the crimes of terrorists.
	You go, okay, you might have something with Epstein, but where are you going with this next?
	And was it the kidnapping?
	And then she talks about the president, instead of being outraged at the possible kidnapping and killing of a U.S. governor, tweeted out his normal bile about Governor Whitner, never once condemning these people who he personally told to liberate the state of Michigan time and time again.
	He's had the opportunity to condemn these people.
	And instead, he does the exact opposite.
	Many people take their cue from the president.
	The radical lunatics, keep going.
	This is the guy in the courts.
	I want them kept alive.
	I want to know where their funding comes from.
	I want to know if they think they are carrying out orders from the commander-in-chief.
	Boogaloo boys, proud boys, Nazis is a better name.
	I just saw a sheriff say on camera that if they, and then I think he got spellchecked and it changed Boogaloo, thought the governor was committing a felony by suggesting mask wearing and closing down.
	Somebody says they have every right to do what they were planning to do.
	Anyway, that wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be.
	But it's, it's fucking people inside the New York City court system assuming that Trump advocates for Nazis like Proud Boys in their belief.
	It's the same thing.
	Charlottesville, Nazis.
	And that's like half the country believes that at this point.
	Half the people who've heard of the Proud Boys think that they are Nazis and they're Trump's secret army.
	Meanwhile, Antifa has said, we're a secret army.
	We're going to burn the place down.
	And they've shown us how they burn places down for, I think we're up to five months now.
	It's like, yeah, but what if the Boogaloo?
	What if the Boogie Boys go?
	There's a terrible article by this woman at Snopes.
	Snopes is left-wing propaganda.
	This is 2-5.
	What a lot of female writers do because their heart's not in it is they just compile everything they get off Wikipedia and then they pretend that they're Wikipedia and they take the pictures.
	That's a pretty intense tattoo.
	Yeah, I just thought that.
	I've never seen that guy.
	Oh my lord.
	You're really committing there, buddy.
	Mine's like on the back of my elbow.
	Members of the fringe group turned volunteer security force have openly advocated violence and white supremacy.
	So I'm suing her.
	That's going on the pile.
	Openly advocated white supremacy.
	Fuck you, you stupid bitch.
	And then go down?
	So she has the Proud Boys thing.
	And then she just proceeds to list every rude thing I've ever said as evidence that we are.
	Look, she's got my whole fucking life there.
	Going back to 2002.
	This goes on and on and on, and it's just amateur hour at the Apollo.
	And it's all fucking lies.
	All right, this is getting tedious, isn't it?
	There was a fake interview in Newsweek.
	Let's just blast through this.
	I'm like Bill Burr.
	Plowing through 2-8.
	This guy just interviewed a dude who's not a proud boy.
	We don't recognize him.
	And he's saying, yeah, we're going to have to get violent if shit goes down.
	I mean, does anyone take Newsweek seriously anymore?
	You'd have to be a really out-of-touch boomer woman to watch this shit.
	I don't know who the Proud Boys are.
	I mean, you'll have to give me a definition because I really don't know who they are.
	I can only say they have to stand down, let law enforcement do their work.
	Just stand by.
	Look, law enforcement will do their work.
	They're going to stand down.
	They have to stand down.
	Everybody, they have to stand down.
	Whatever group you're talking about, let law enforcement do the work.
	Now, Antifa is a real problem.
	Because the problem is on the left.
	I've always denounced any form.
	Any form of white supremacist.
	Everyone has.
	Hundreds of times.
	Hundreds of times.
	And that's why Enrique said, I'm not going to bend the knee.
	Because we've tried saying I'm not a white supremacist 8 billion million times, and they still fucking accuse you.
	They accuse black people of being white supremacists.
	It's getting boring.
	But go down on that one.
	So is that the one that has the fake interview with this guy?
	Go up?
	I think it didn't load yet.
	Yeah, there's a spot there.
	Come on.
	Masterson.
	Wait, on Twitter.
	Days after he first posted the clip online that he intends to post a full interview soon.
	So this sounds like another making of the news.
	Now, did Masterson pay a guy to say he was a proud boy?
	He's not dressed like a proud boy.
	There it is.
	I've met most.
	I think I've met them all at Westbus and everything.
	And you get to know the faces.
	Especially with videos and social media.
	Keeps freezing up here.
	Oh, that was that Indie.
	We showed that, right?
	We showed this with the Asian guy.
	Mexican.
	Why can't you show us?
	It's froze.
	I scroll in here and it's wow.
	Wow.
	All right.
	I don't know where it took me.
	All right, here we go.
	This is?
	Yeah.
	Oh, you're on Facebook?
	Yeah.
	How'd you get on Facebook?
	Oh, that's that artist, Stuart.
	No, Scott the artist guy who does the American flags.
	Like that guy.
	Antifa is a real problem, if you guys understand where they are.
	People don't understand.
	Proudboys, it's a very inclusive, multiracial organization.
	We're not brawlers.
	You know?
	But we're there.
	Just like the Marines.
	We're the first to come in when there's something happening.
	He said, stand back and stand by.
	What did you take that to mean?
	Basically, he says, guys, wait for my orders.
	And that's exactly what we're waiting for.
	You're not violent.
	What do you think?
	Oh, man.
	So Trump denounces us, and then he steals our fuck around and find out.
	That's our motto.
	This is 3-1.
	And knows that, and they've been put on notice.
	If you fuck around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before.
	And knows that.
	We're going to do things that have never been done.
	Isn't that the same as we'll like Bill the Butcher will assassinate you?
	2.9.
	Trump condones hate groups like the Proud Boys.
	Oh, this is the Lincoln Project again.
	I should have stuck this with the other Lincoln Project.
	Well, this one is over the top.
	This one puts Proud Boys' lives in danger by literally photoshopping us as Nazis.
	We've seen this before.
	In the history of the Great American Experiment, extremist groups have risen to challenge our democracy.
	There were anti-Semitic fascists in the 1930s, the KKK and the John Birch Society.
	Each of these hate groups were opposed by the American president and rejected by the American mainstream.
	Today, for the first time in our history, an American president embraces extremism and sights to violence.
	Donald Trump is refusing to accept the results of our democratic elections and calls for violent extremists.
	It's dangerous, anti-American, and a threat to democracy unlike any in our history.
	Millions of Americans have fought to preserve and protect the freedoms Donald Trump have threatened.
	Now it's our turn, our duty to defend America.
	Babylon B guns with tanks, but with our votes.
	Trump or America.
	Fight for America.
	Vote.
	The Lincoln Project is responsible for the content of this advertisement.
	Speechless for the first time.
	I'm speechless.
	So Trump doesn't know who we are.
	He says, stamp, stand black, stand blind.
	And that is now Proud Boys are Nazis and they're waiting to pounce.
	It's the opposite of the truth.
	Antifa has said they're going to pounce.
	The left keeps saying they're going to pounce.
	I know.
	I talk about the left too much.
	I'm supposed to be mad at him for all this, but I'm not.
	If he said, I support the Proud Boys, they would have fine-tooth combed, as you see they're doing now, found some quote I said in 2002, and then made, so Trump is now responsible for everything every Proud Boy has ever done, including the guys we booted out.
	And that would just give them endless fodder.
	That would become the news forever, and that would be the end of, not the end of the election, but it would be a major, boring pain in the ass for everyone involved.
	But look at 3-2.
	This guy is so fucking funny.
	I don't get how people don't like him.
	Now they say I'm immune.
	I can feel, I feel so powerful.
	I'll walk into that audience.
	I'll walk in there.
	I'll kiss everyone in that audience.
	I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women and them.
	Everybody, I'll just give you a big fat kiss.
	No, but there is something.
	Now they say.
	I'll kiss the guys.
	Who wrote that?
	That's a drop.
	He goes beautiful woman a little too quick, but maybe if we just have a drop of, I'll kiss the guys?
	But really, on a serious note, this is the most important election ever.
	And Pat Buchanan was on Michelle Malkin's show saying this, he could permanently fix the GOP, recalibrate it, reboot it, drain the swamp, such that in 2024, they won't be able to...
	Are you okay, Ryan?
	I've almost done the entire thing.
	What does he say?
	Mr. Buchanan, the Republican National Committee.
	I don't think in 2024 you'll be able to go back to free trade globalism or interventionism because the GOP will have been reoriented.
	I mean, that's really what we're getting down to.
	This is much bigger than 2016.
	And 2024, I don't think we have to worry anymore.
	We have the Supreme Court.
	We have the Senate.
	We have lost this need to globalize.
	It's no longer cool Soros.
	You're allowed to criticize Soros.
	And that's major.
	2020 opened up with the poster child of the globalist and interventionist wing of the Republican Party, Nikki Haley, and then proceeded to venerate Tim Scott,
	who bent his knee to the Black Lives Matter agenda.
	It ended with President Trump promising law and order and an end to endless wars.
	How are these two things possible?
	Well, I mean, the Republican Party, because it is the Republican Party and they wanted to feature, I think, all of their stars, and the two you mentioned are, I guess, their stars.
	But with regard to moving out of these endless wars, I think the president has made something of a beginning, but he hasn't completed the job that he told us he would do.
	And I would certainly hope that in the second term he would extricate us from these endless wars in the Middle East.
	But I will say the only possibility we have of getting out of them is by electing Donald Trump and not electing Joe Biden.
	Sure.
	President Trump, of course, campaign.
	Yeah, that's the most serious part of a funny show.
	Doesn't she look like Phoebe Cates?
	Yeah, I see it.
	It really is.
	This is the election.
	And I also think we have it in the bag.
	So that's good news.
	But yeah, I don't think we'll ever have an election this important ever again.
	I don't think we ever have had an election this bad.
	Because before Trump, the GOP and the DNC, that's why he got such shitty voter turnout.
	That's why only 2% of people in DC voted for him.
	Because the establishment Republicans hate him too.
	They started the Lincoln Project, for fuck's sakes, where they lie about Nazis.
	All right, let's get into the mail beat.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.
	Let me touch it.
	Hey, Gavin and Ryan, I think the short film covered in yesterday's show reveals the real reason black men abandon their children.
	And if that's the case, then nothing wrong with that.
	Yeah, I thought it would be good to mix it up a little bit and have a non-political show.
	I go back and forth, though.
	Sometimes I think we have to talk about politics.
	We're weeks away from the most important election in American history.
	But on the other hand, I think let's do pop culture.
	Like Billie Eilish is fat and has huge tits.
	Did you know that?
	Look at 2-1.
	Fat and has huge tits.
	All right.
	I always thought of her as flat and skinny because she wears such big outfits.
	But then you see her and she's kind of a beast.
	Kind of a beast.
	Yeah, she always wears loose stuff to obscure her body.
	She's got massive cans.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's, by the way, as far as my tastes go, that's right on the button.
	Tits are a little big from no, the tits are actually fantastic.
	The Yeezy slides, those are Yeezys?
	Yeah.
	And I do like how when she dresses, she doesn't dress like a whore like Cardi B, because I know young girls are obsessed with her.
	And I don't want my daughter, you know, asking me for thigh-high boots.
	She's kind of a beast.
	I still can't get over that.
	Yeah, she looks like a beast.
	You kind of assume when girls wear huge clothes like that and they're young that they're super skinny.
	Oh, I never did.
	I knew there was something swaying underneath it.
	She walks like she walks like Dante Nero, like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
	All right, this is from a guy called Freedom Fulton.
	I'm saying his name because it's not a real name.
	Dudes, watch this video of back-to-back COVID prom dancing.
	This shit is so embarrassing, I get a stomachache watching it.
	These kids got punked by their principal and have no idea.
	Yeah, you know why they make kids do this?
	Because they can.
	Wow.
	This is why Bill Burr was shitting on white women.
	Because he can.
	You know why they make ex-cons do all this dumb shit where they have to draw pictures of their family?
	Because they can.
	Turn it up.
	That's a teacher.
	He's fired.
	How does this help the spread of COVID?
	I mean, the face is here.
	The face is here.
	You're moving all around the gym.
	This airborne virus has just filled the gym.
	It's the most contagious thing we've ever come across in our history.
	If you're in a room of people, it doesn't matter what direction you're fucking facing in.
	You know that guy gets in trouble for that, right?
	Well, maybe it's a dad.
	Even if it's a dad, we don't appreciate that, the face that he made.
	Schools are petrified of dads.
	Huh, huh.
	Hey, Gavin, in case you haven't seen it today, David Cole wrote the following in his weekly tacky mag column.
	Here's a key paragraph.
	Trump's denunciation of the Proud Boys will be for nothing.
	If he loses in November, he'll have thrown a bunch of good people under the bus for no reason.
	But even if he wins, it'll be a hollow victory because he'll have won by embracing the cult's theology, further enshrining it as the governing theology of the land.
	He'll have won on the cult's terms, having adopted its language and reality as its own.
	Cole is, and then he goes back to the writer.
	Cole is a brilliant thinker on such topics.
	He does YouTube videos every week, blah, blah, blah.
	I wonder if maybe a candidate for a slot on censored.tv.
	Ryan, cue the suggestion box bonfire video.
	David Cole.
	Here he comes.
	Jews really hate him.
	I think he denied the Holocaust and didn't he kill himself?
	Is that the same David Cole?
	It's pretty impressive to keep writing.
	I think he denied the Holocaust.
	Yeah, that's it.
	And it just ruined his career.
	So he said, oh, fuck it.
	I'm going to just die.
	So he, quote unquote, killed himself, but he walked out into the water.
	And then apparently that's the best way to fake die.
	He walked out into the water and then swam a bit and then had like clothes and stuff ready downstream.
	Cool.
	And so they looked for him in the water.
	He left a suicide note and everything.
	Couldn't find him.
	He's dead.
	Then he started a new career, but he started gaining notoriety.
	And then I think he let it slip at a party once.
	He told some chick he was fucking that he's actually the guy who died.
	Pretty cool, huh?
	You did anything to make it seem cool?
	Actually died.
	So what do we got here?
	Okay.
	This is from Chuck.
	If you died and went to hell while an acid, the devil would look like kangaroo Gavin.
	Okay.
	By the way, you shouldn't have made the nose of the kangaroo like you did.
	People kept saying it looked like balls.
	It does.
	Looks like balls.
	Yeah, why did you just make it like all orange?
	I could probably redo that.
	But why?
	The question is, why did you do that?
	I don't know.
	It kind of has like a Joe Camel type of vibe.
	If I made your face any bigger than the...
	No, no, you just Photoshop that bottom part orange.
	What does the matter?
	It won't click.
	Man, that's signed up to us.
	There's a couple of new things on the site, by the way.
	It looks like we're just loading here.
	Gary's mailbag, another one of those.
	A new Copper Cab.
	And there will be the new Dusty Bogan up.
	And didn't...
	Yeah, we're announcing a new show, Dusty Bogan.
	Correct.
	Man on the streets in Australia.
	We're bringing in a new continent.
	Didn't you say Copper Cab was dating that Belle Delphine?
	Yeah, they're.
	Belle Delphine.
	Was she in that episode?
	You'll have to check and find out.
	In other words, you don't look at censored.tv.
	I haven't watched this one yet.
	I'm still one behind.
	But I've been in contact with him, and he's delusionally obsessed with this girl.
	I don't know if they're together, but...
	It's getting crazy.
	His whole life is changing around Belle Delphine, essentially.
	Some guy wrote a book about a lighthouse, and he sent me the story of him doing a little book about a lighthouse, maybe 100 times now.
	He sends me the email once a day.
	Hey, Tom, please stop sending me your fucking lighthouse book.
	I don't give a shit.
	Preston, Gavin, kudos to your incredible find.
	One Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	To have an actor portray a mentally deficient Japanese Puerto Rican as your foil and to remain in character for so many years is the performance art piece that will be analyzed for years to come.
	The way he captures mental retardation is a masterclass in acting.
	Seriously, whether it's his technical ineptitude or his jaw-dropping inane comments, quote-unquote Ryan never disappoints.
	Well, he disappoints you, of course, but not the bemused viewers.
	However, I have noticed a couple things that distract from an otherwise brilliant illusion.
	One, the prosthetic nose is a bit much.
	Go smaller so it doesn't seem so cartoonish.
	Number two, Ryan often adjusts his wig along with the nose.
	I chalk this up to poor hair and makeup effects, not performance.
	Finally, I'd love to know which technique Ryan actor Uses Meisner, Stanislavski, method?
	Did he spend time with special needs individuals for research?
	Thank you for breaking the fourth wall to answer these questions, and may he win all of the acting awards.
	Okay.
	You've hurt me today.
	Hey, boys, fuck.
	My name is Alexander.
	Fuck.
	I thought this video might make you homesick, fuck.
	And maybe have a laugh too, fuck.
	I'm already homesick.
	Ryan, you don't need three bins in the kitchen, fuck.
	Oh, dick.
	Oh, dick.
	Holy shit.
	Holy shit.
	We've had scene life on the show.
	You motherfucker.
	Thank you for turning us on to an old guest of ours.
	Hey guys, I know Fav doesn't do much dating beyond old New York guineas, and Ryan is lord of the fag capital of the world, but I was fucking around on my Bumble app last night, and it wants me to verify myself.
	Look at this fucking bullshit dude.
	I laugh so hard.
	I'm not going to strike this pose.
	I will end up on some collage at a fucking loser convention somewhere.
	Verify yourself.
	Help us keep Bumble safe and honest by verifying yourself with a one-time selfie.
	We'll only use your photo to confume you're you.
	Confume.
	Confoom.
	So it doesn't have to be your best.
	Verify yourself.
	So you have to verify yourself in a Black Lives Matter pose, which you could argue is a white power pose if it's a white fist.
	Let's see that fist.
	Maybe it's for girls that like fisting.
	Like they could see the size of your fist and know they won't get destroyed.
	Is this a one?
	Her name is Virgi Tovar, and she's a health at every size activist.
	Yes, we're familiar with her.
	We've discussed her on many shows.
	I guess all you people haven't caught up on every episode.
	But there's a pretty girl in there somewhere.
	So I'm tempted to be generous.
	Can you fucking find this?
	What is the name of Born for?
	It's two after the one we just did.
	Yeah, I've been lost.
	What do you mean you've been lost?
	Born for this.
	Gotcha.
	What are you doing wrong?
	It's funny, someone just said you were a genius at acting like a retard and you have no idea where we are in the mailbag.
	No, you're going in chronological order.
	I skipped over one that was a request to do a high school newspaper interview.
	Oh.
	You can't handle a skipping?
	Let's see.
	So anyway, go back to that picture.
	Um.
	Like, I want to just be kind and say two and leave one for you know, freaks.
	But two feels so generous.
	One point something.
	Yeah.
	One feels too low and two feels too high.
	1.6.
	1.6, and I feel like she should call me crying saying thank you.
	You're welcome.
	Merry Christmas.
	I just gave you an extra 0.2.
	Are you ready for the next one?
	How many pencils do you think Gary can fit underneath this bazunga?
	Maybe just one.
	He doesn't have a lot of sag, does he?
	No.
	It's a prominent nip, but so am I. I haven't watched that one yet.
	It's getting good reviews.
	That's good.
	Were most of the letters video letters?
	No.
	Please send it, please.
	Gary video letters because he can't read.
	It really does help.
	I mean, he gets really annoyed.
	Like, there's this one.
	It's a Dinesh D'Souza.
	Dinesh writes it a lot.
	And he does not, every time it comes in, he's like, I don't want to see that.
	I don't want to see that.
	He's like, triggered.
	Because she's wearing a Dinesh mask?
	Yes.
	This is from Tom.
	He says, the perfect t-shirt doesn't exist.
	That's a cometown shirt.
	I'm not racist anymore.
	Pretty good.
	Well, you know, it would be a good shirt.
	I'm not racist, but I'm getting there.
	Or I'm not racist yet.
	I'm not racist, but I try really hard.
	I'm not racist, but you're pushing it.
	SG, strange thing about the Johnsons.
	There's an interview floating around out there as to how Astor came up with his short film.
	It was his dissertation film when he was a student.
	Yes, I know that.
	I believe he made some backhand comments about how all the dissertation films he saw while he was there were more or less nothing but PC claptrap that always had some message about being black, gay, trans.
	Apparently he made the film because he wanted to make the most offensive thing possible as a kind of fuck you to the stupid PC short films he was seeing in school.
	Also, I think he was being a bit clever making that his dissertation film because he got the shock value that gave him a name.
	A few years later, he made Hereditary, brilliant film, and then Mid-Somar, which is fucking awesome.
	It is sort of analogous to David Lynch making Eraserhead, his first film.
	And then he was on the map in that industry.
	Huh, good letter.
	Interesting concept.
	I think you're right.
	Willow wake.
	This is from Jammy.
	Hello, Gavin and Gayman.
	Sending another link for other movie ideas that might spice things up.
	Pretty, please.
	The political stuff is getting redundant, but I still appreciate your opinions.
	I recognize him.
	Evil Dead.
	Oh, Evil Dead.
	It's Bruce Campbell.
	But wait, someone told a MAGA dad told me gave me an idea for a movie.
	Wait, is that the guy who was crying?
	Yes, it is.
	Remember, he was going like this.
	Dude, you need mascara to worry about your mascara.
	I still wonder if that was a joke.
	Dan and Dave need wedding dates.
	I think it's...
	Oh, it's woman.
	That's it.
	It's women doing wedding crashers.
	Hmm.
	Oh, it's Adam.
	What's his face?
	It's Zach Efron.
	Mom and dad, what's going on here?
	What are the years of our family gathering?
	You two show up and you ruined it.
	I want you to bring a date to your sister's wedding.
	We don't want you showing up staging running on each other up.
	We don't run each other up.
	We'll shape up, Eugenie.
	We gotta find the right girls for this.
	Where do we even go?
	We're about to do something awesome.
	I'm here with Mike and Dave Stangle.
	They are looking for dates for their sister's wedding in Hawaii.
	Guys, take us to Hawaii.
	We're looking for nice girls.
	We're gonna look respectable as well.
	They're leaving.
	It's all part of the plan.
	It's such a fucking smoker.
	Are you okay?
	I am now.
	I saved your life!
	She's okay.
	I saved your life!
	Yeah.
	Did you like it?
	I don't remember.
	She was fine.
	The key to teaching children is repetition.
	You'd be surprised how stupid they are.
	Let's play Bocci.
	Should we take it easily?
	Absolutely not.
	We should let them lose with dignity, which is what I'd like to think we would do.
	He's very Jack Blackish.
	You ever notice that?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Very.
	What are we taking at?
	They've got cockbusters.
	That sounds like you guys are like watching porno or I don't know if we're gonna get it though if we haven't seen the godfather.
	Oh yeah, right So they made chicks into dudes.
	just saw the fiction that Hollywood wants to push out.
	Let's take a little peek at the reality.
	Boy, this is a long app This should be required viewing in women's studies And they're off this has a lot of upper body strength needed obviously you're going over a lot of jumps.
	that little mud hill is a mission for her do you still get sponsor money if the sponsor sticker scrapes off because you bailed something they can't even make it oh and we're down uh the bush was not an obstacle but i apparently that thwarted her uh lindsay coming at number 12.
	wife and his two kids and his name Chris Watts I'm not gonna tell you because it's haunting me like I peered into hell and I saw the devil but they go into explicit detail about him killing his twin daughters and what they said and what he said to them.
	Dude, I would pay a million bucks to get this out of my head.
	I really feel like I've seen into hell.
	I've seen Satan.
	Oh, yeah.
	And I was just watching a lifetime movie.
	So my daughter and I were watching it in the hotel.
	I'm like, this is so corny.
	Oh, it is kind of freaky, though.
	It's a true story, you know?
	Oh, they're reenacting.
	And then they get to that part and I'm like, holy fuck, what the fuck did I just watch?
	Shit.
	You want to unwatch it?
	I would love to unwatch it.
	You know, it was really disturbing.
	That was the same guy who they have like all this footage from him.
	You know, the body cam footage of the police talking to him.
	Did you know that?
	This joke's going to suck, just warning you.
	There's no joke.
	So the cops are talking to him as if his wife's missing.
	And he's like, oh yeah, I don't know where she went and blah, blah, blah.
	And it looks like...
	They're not twins.
	That's the guy.
	Yeah, they reenact this in the Lifetime movie exactly.
	Yeah, they let him in the house and they look around and stuff like that.
	And he's a suspect, but he's not cuffed yet.
	Friday morning, and then she got back last night about 2 a.m.
	Like I believe.
	She left about 11.
	She got here 2.
	Now went to work this morning.
	There's a lot of footage of him talking to cops, just lying his ass off while his whole family's dead.
	Pretending.
	And then he did a news spot.
	He's like, yeah, I just want them to come back and, you know, blah, blah.
	Oof.
	All right.
	Last one.
	Start the 11-second mark.
	This is a good video drop.
	Okay.
	We'll see.
	11th.
	Oh, this one we said should be a video drop.
	Huh.
	I feel so powerful.
	I'll walk into that.
	I'll walk in there.
	I'll kiss everyone in that.
	I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women.
	We can't.
	Alex, we've great minds think alike.
	We're in the same boat, but we can't do it.
	Why?
	Because he goes, the guys and the...
	Oh.
	If he had said, I'll kiss the guys, that would have been perfect.
	Trump, if you're watching, next time you say something like that, give it some space on either end so we can cut it.
	Deal?
	Everybody knows what I'm saying is true.
	Well, he will kiss those men.
	All right, final video.
	I thought this was interesting because I thought, what would you do if a cougar was chasing you?
	And I don't mean an ugly old woman.
	Oh.
	A horny old lady.
	What are you doing?
	I'm at the link.
	That is not the link.
	Well, then search cougar there.
	True.
	Although the search on Reddit sucks.
	Oh, that's it.
	There we go.
	Yeah, what you can do is there's an option to search within the group that you're in.
	So seriously, though, what do you do?
	You can't run.
	Running is the stupidest thing you could do.
	Grabbing a rock and throwing it seems like a good idea.
	Oh, shit.
	No!
	What?
	That looks so weird, doesn't it?
	And standing your ground doesn't seem like a good idea either.
	Is that CGI?
	Look how weird the legs look when it's bolting towards him.
	Yeah, because it uses its hind legs.
	Oh, fuck.
	Oh, oh, wait, that appeared to come out of nowhere, didn't it?
	It just re-emerged in the road.
	Oh, no, it's so it's there.
	Oh, you, f you, f you.
	I think he's saying fuck you.
	Yeah, he sure is.
	Holy s maybe get a stick?
	Yeah.
	I mean, what do you think?
	Could you climb, or would that be bad?
	It's great at climbing.
	Better than you.
	But couldn't you kick it down while it's climbing?
	It needs all fours to climb.
	Yeah, it's probably not going to be great at shooting your face off on a tree.
	Right.
	But he doesn't seem to ever have the space to get.
	See, he lands on the hind legs.
	I think he's doing exactly the right thing.
	Retreating, facing it, yelling at it.
	Maybe pick up a rock.
	I'm scared for him.
	This goes on for six minutes, by the way.
	Go away.
	Please go away.
	Holy.
	Oh, she's probably just protecting her babies because he went near them unknowingly.
	So that's why he keeps saying, go back to your babies.
	I would definitely have pissed my pants at this point.
	Yeah.
	You don't like the smell of piss and poop.
	Although I feel like a cougar would have trouble killing you.
	Really?
	Go for the neck.
	You'd be shredded.
	Sure.
	You'd have to get in the neck there, really bleed me out.
	Yeah, die of bleeding.
	A bear will just rip your head off.
	Right.
	Like, bite your head off.
	Bite your arm off.
	I don't think a cougar, you know, when you're 200 pounds, it's going to be a lot of scraping.
	You're going to need 200 stitches, but unless he gets right into the vampire jugglers.
	I'm big and scary.
	I'm big and.
	Cats don't even back down.
	Look, he's talking to himself.
	I'm big and scary.
	Turn it up.
	Go away.
	Go away.
	Go get your babies.
	I'm not going to back down, I promise.
	Holy.
	I would maybe like start really yelling now.
	Like, God bomb!
	And Mama got to be right there, don't they?
	Dude, you're scary, dude.
	You're scary.
	You're a scary kitty cat.
	Throw a rock.
	Holy.
	No, go away.
	I think that would engage the fight.
	Nope.
	That sucks.
	That right there.
	The ears back.
	Is that fucking that does not look real to me.
	That's so bizarre to look at.
	Holy.
	Yeah, because all you watch is Toy Story.
	You haven't seen things.
	I've watched the entire Planet Earth series on pot.
	Gosh.
	Where's my gun?
	Good question.
	Okay.
	This is when I...
	This is what I want.
	Nope.
	Get the f ⁇ away.
	What if he faints?
	Stupid kitty cat.
	And that whole playing dead thing?
	No, thanks.
	Doesn't feel good.
	I'm not risking that.
	That's like playing blackjackets and kidney when you have 13.
	I don't feel like dying today.
	The cougars.
	Cougars, they're dangerous.
	Got some big fucking rocks there, but if you take a second to bend down, it might make you literally.
	There's my inn.
	No.
	Go away.
	Go away.
	I'm looking at a list of fatal cougar attacks.
	There was two in 2018.
	Dude.
	But they seem to be spread out like once every five years or so.
	Once every five years.
	Oh, stupid.
	This sucks ass.
	Yeah.
	This is scary.
	My heart is racing.
	Dude.
	Okay.
	This is not fun.
	I'm worried about fainting.
	I'm worried about tripping.
	I'm worried about a cougar eating me.
	Killed in Mexico.
	Killed and eaten while walking on a beach.
	Attacking killed as he tried to outrun a cougar for about 100 yards.
	Come on, dude.
	Killed by a three-year-old female tiger.
	Killed by a cougar near British Columbia while walking on a road.
	Stalked and killed by a four-year-old male cougar.
	Attacked and killed by at least two, possibly three cougars while riding a tricycle.
	That's embarrassing.
	That's what?
	That was embarrassing.
	What was?
	Riding a tricycle?
	It was a child.
	Oh.
	Good joke, though, Ryan.
	What a joke.
	Well, it's embarrassing for the cougar.
	Shut up.
	Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me.
	What happened?
	Throw a rock?
	Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me.
	Was that a rock throw?
	Get me out of the way.
	Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me.
	Shit, face.
	He is picking a rock.
	Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me.
	Shit face.
	Shit face.
	Oh, damn it.
	Okay.
	Yeah, so that just happened.
	Wow.
	You see that?
	Oh, some will come, actually.
	Holy cow.
	Holy cow.
	Yeah, not going back that way.
	Yeah.
	What do you think of that, Trump?
	Well, that's my goal.
	To get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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