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Sept. 3, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:08:12

GOML LIVE #63 - ZONNOAH

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	There are fucking one.
	You know, you could play the air guitar in your 40s, but after 50, it's physically, I cannot do it.
	I don't mean I'm not good enough.
	It's like wearing red Chuck Taylors or something.
	Oh, it feels weird.
	Welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
	This is the live episode from 9 till about 9.30.
	We're free on iTunes as an audio podcast.
	And then we go behind the paywall after 9.30 where you can't touch us.
	Can't touch us.
	And then from 10 to 11, we take your calls.
	I also do sketches from 10 to 11 that we then auction off at Gavin's Doodles.
	You can find the link on censoring.tv.
	And we donate 100% of that money to justiceforliberty.com.
	We just sent in another check of 2,000.
	So I think since we started doing the doodles, there's been three auctions, and it was like 4K, 3K, 2K.
	So we're almost at 10K for that.
	And then my cameos have been going to Justice for Liberty.
	That's at 4K.
	So we're 13K recently, which is pretty good.
	It would be nice if we could give Max and John some money when they get out.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I think with Max and John, I think their lawyer bills were about 30.
	It'd be nice to get that paid off each, so 60.
	And then fucking...
	Family?
	Help them get on their feet.
	The income that they would have gotten, you know, just a little jumpstart.
	Right.
	Well, that's...
	I'm giving Zenoa the money now because she's moving and stuff.
	But one thing I've learned, one thing I've learned about these live shows is to try not to get wasted.
	And that's a challenge.
	Dude, I'm so fucking bummed.
	I just went up a size from 33 to 34.
	Wow.
	And it's too small.
	No way.
	$150 I spent on all new pants.
	And they were on sale, $15 each.
	So I got an expensive pair that was $70.
	And then $315 or zers.
	So four pairs of pants, too small.
	That's terrible.
	Here's what you do when you buy pants.
	And buying pants, I don't like Mark Marin, but he wrote a great article for the New York Times magazine about how hard it is for men to find pants.
	J. Crew, I like them.
	Levi's, I obviously like, but.
	You know, denim is thick.
	And in the summer, you want to have something thin.
	Of course, when you have thin pants, everyone can see your keys bulging.
	And I solved that problem by having reinforced pockets made.
	Thick canvas pockets would solve that problem.
	But when you buy pants, there we go.
	You have to get them a size just a bit large.
	Have them pull your thumb out because when you wash them and dry them, they're going to shrink a bit.
	Look at his fucking face.
	God, I hate him.
	I hate that type of guy.
	These, you know, liberal comedians who talk about how, oh, I'm so messed up.
	And then they just fuck their interns and complain about how hard life is and talk about their therapist all the time.
	And it's like, woe is me.
	Sympathy, sympathy.
	And then just, oh, yeah, that's it.
	Perverts like me, we're just honest.
	I'm dying to fuck you.
	But I can't.
	Anyway, want to talk about low?
	I'm working.
	Ooh, that Woodford Reserve is rough.
	Is it?
	Kind of want to.
	Yeah.
	What does he say?
	And I like beer.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Whiskey is too rough.
	Champagne costs too much.
	I have that.
	You missed these.
	Oh, by the way, that opening band was what were they called?
	They're from Torrance, California, which is Joyce Manor?
	Down by Venice.
	Joyce Manor, that was called Home Coming Party.
	You know, when I grew up, you hear a band, you go, where are they from?
	Maybe that was a hardcore thing, but you would just compartmentalize every band.
	Oh, it's part of like the replacements and who's good.
	Oh, they're part of that Midwestern, Milwaukee, Wisconsin kind of Midwestern hardcore band like with Die Cruzen.
	Okay, I got it.
	That's they're there.
	Whoa, oh, that's rancid.
	Oh, I get it.
	Up Ivy and SoCal and Gilman Street and that whole scene down there.
	Okay, I got it.
	That ended up being fat records as they got older and all that stuff.
	Got it.
	Oh, it's Cro-Mags.
	Oh, that's New York City.
	That scene.
	Cuban Patriots.
	The San Francisco scene didn't like the New York scene because they thought they were Nazis, but they didn't get it.
	It was just Cuban expats who tend to be very patriotic and wave American flags.
	But with all this internet, I don't know if kids do that anymore.
	So every time we have an opening band, I say, oh, that was four kids from Torrance, California that's south of Los Angeles.
	I don't think they give a shit about that.
	They're more like, what genre is it and are they trans?
	This is pretty cool, though.
	Dude, if I have to undo the top button with my new pants.
	Oh, so the belt's not even working.
	It's just fine.
	Just holding a gun.
	Belts adjustable.
	This is England, so you got all the different bands.
	Primal Scream or Scottish.
	Did I?
	I didn't know that.
	Arctic Monkeys, yeah.
	See, that's how I think of them.
	That's cool.
	Like, when I think of the Arctic Monkeys, I think of Northern English, I think of drunks.
	I see Pulp is a London band.
	Yeah.
	That's a cool trick.
	But anyway, they're young kids, and you should check them out.
	Very lo-fi.
	Kind of a sound that's popular in Australia right now.
	It's almost like a 60s punk kind of thing.
	Yes, we drank beer.
	I like beer.
	Great songs this week that all you non-subscribers have missed out on.
	We discovered Tom T. Hall.
	I guess he's from Heeha and I never noticed because I was six.
	But he's got two great songs.
	I like beer and I love all the things you'll learn.
	I love coffee in a cup.
	Fuzzy Little Pups.
	I love little baby ducks.
	Ducks.
	I like when he goes, music when it's good.
	Love little country's dreams.
	Sleep without dreams.
	Sunday school and me.
	Okay, we're pretty discussing.
	And then we had that awesome band that my daughter turned me on to, Death Grip.
	I've seen footage.
	I've been screaming that all week.
	And at the gym, there's a large gay man who is one of the best boxers there.
	And so he has authority.
	Oh, go ahead.
	Isn't it great not being on YouTube?
	We can relax.
	This is one of those bands.
	It's really just one guy.
	I mean, the band is there, but it's this one sort of tech genius behind everything.
	And then there was that cool boom, boom, boom.
	What are they called?
	Harlow Hollowed.
	And I can't tell if it's Trumpers, Gen Z Trumpers, taking a song.
	Get the country back.
	No, I think they're...
	But then I see they did a song about Corona.
	But like a bad song about it?
	I mean, no, like a...
	Like put your mask on.
	They're cool.
	Oh, no, they are cool.
	It's just rare that mega kids are...
	I'm a coomer.
	I'm guessing this is about fapping, fappers.
	So it's making fun of people who beat off?
	Yeah.
	I think they're...
	The song makes me want to become a doomer instead of a coomer.
	Is that funny with Proud Boys?
	They said, we don't beat off.
	The real thing is you're only allowed to ejaculate within a yard of a lady with her consent.
	You can jerk off if your significant others pregnant or menstruating or something.
	But that became more anti-masturbation.
	No, we're anti-jerking off alone to porn.
	And then that made our adversaries be pro-beating off.
	And the Daily Show did a big thing about how awesome it is to beat off.
	And you're like, wow.
	Wanker is an insult for a reason, dude.
	You don't look very cool bragging about how fantastic it is to rub your genitals while watching two other people.
	Oh, it fueled alt-right anger, did it?
	Cool theory.
	That's why Antifa's so chill, right?
	They're getting their nuts out.
	Yeah.
	I contacted that guy.
	Really?
	With the Daily Show guy.
	Yeah.
	No, that one-handed dude who's against using your hands to beat off.
	Yeah, you corresponded back and forth with email.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Someone blew his hand off for beating off, and now he's very pro-beating off.
	But I was like, you fucking loser.
	And I explained it all to him.
	And he goes, oh, wow, you really came out strong.
	And I go, shut the fuck up.
	It was that kind of talk.
	And this is all via email.
	And he goes, I get it.
	You're one of these people who sort of shoots from the hip and comes out swinging.
	That's not the way I am.
	And he made it sound like I was just this aggressive asshole.
	Dude, you went on national television calling out a men's club.
	So you started it.
	Don't act surprised when someone calls you and says, what the fuck are you doing?
	There's John.
	Anyway, we're off at a million tangents, and I tend to forget what I was originally trying to say.
	Yeah, so this guy at the gym, he's really into disco, and he has authority there.
	He's an old dude, my age, really old.
	Every time I say someone's old, they're younger than me.
	So it's disco all the time.
	You can't get pumped to disco.
	You get pumped to boom, boom, boom, boom, get out of my way.
	Or I've seen footage.
	Not ring my bell.
	Like, I physically feel myself getting tired.
	No way.
	Yes.
	That's one of the songs?
	Yeah, it's not even late disco.
	It's like, as disco began.
	That's terrible.
	He's like, you get it?
	Ring my bummer.
	As soon as I open the door to the bottom of the stairs and I'm coming up, I start hearing disco.
	I just go, oh, for fuck's sakes.
	All right, guys, do some burpees.
	All right, guys, I want you to start punching each other in the face as hard as you can.
	So that's a bummer.
	What a day at the gym today.
	I have some revelations, by the way, about boxing.
	I've been drinking Gatorade like I'm some sort of health freak and I'm doing a great job and I'm having electrolytes.
	I'm drinking sugar.
	It's got a little bit less sugar than all the other shit, but not much.
	It's got less than Coke.
	So now I just drink water.
	Major change.
	Another change I made recently was I'd have a coffee to try to get myself psyched before training.
	No, don't have that.
	You're not you at the gym if you just had a coffee.
	You should have the workout that your non-coffee Body wants you to have, and that's a lot more sort of measured rather than just coming in.
	And then you're so those have been my two big changes.
	And thank God this fucking heat wave is over.
	But I got to tell you this story.
	And that's what I was trying to say earlier.
	I've learned in these shows that to have a bunch of links and news items and do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, breaking news, it doesn't work with this short segment when we're cutting to ads and stuff.
	So this is all just shooting the shit, but that's not typical of the show.
	The show is usually, for you don't, those who don't subscribe, just me sneezing for an hour and a half.
	No, the show is usually, here's a general topic, and then we go through all these examples and pull this up and have you notice this pattern here.
	I'm very, very happy with yesterday's show where we're talking about this Sikh who was talking about George Washington, and he was doing some hip-hop thing because he's a rapper named Houdini.
	And he was like, yo, America was built on racism.
	And he's got his big Sikh thing.
	And he's talking about how George Washington had slaves.
	And the beauty of Sikhs is you look them up and whatever time they're depicting, Muslims were murdering them.
	So I'm like, okay, George Washington, let me look up around that time.
	So the American Revolution was, what, 1765 to 1780, something?
	In 1762, there was a major Sikh Holocaust where tens of thousands of women and children were massacred just for being Sikh.
	And his priority is let's bitch about America and all the horrible things they've done to black people.
	What about what Muslims did to you, my friend, Mr. Panjam Singh?
	I also realized something else.
	You know at the end of that video where he says, and Bollywood, we don't need your support until you address your casteism, sexism, blah, blah, blah.
	The whole script is clearly written by a white guy who was trying to sound black.
	But I think that white guy who wrote it doesn't realize that Sikhs live in Punjab, which is not in India.
	There's India, there's Punjab, and there's Pakistan.
	I think he thinks there's just India.
	Yeah, I thought Punjab was a type of Indian.
	Punjabi Indian.
	No, if you're Punjabi, you're Sikh.
	Ooh.
	Hope I'm getting that wrong.
	Oops.
	Apparently the $20 bill thing, people are like, oh, George Washington isn't on the 20.
	It got confusing because he's holding up the $20 bill, but he's talking about Washington.
	But he's actually talking about Jackson.
	So did he get that wrong?
	Or was it?
	Is he holding up a $20 bill?
	Could have been a one.
	Let me see.
	No, he mentions the 20 a bunch of times.
	Yeah, I know.
	I got confused, but people have been writing in about this, this $20 bill thing.
	Let's see.
	It's right in the beginning.
	Yeah.
	This piece of paper with the thing.
	By the way, my bartender today, she's a woman.
	She's a barmaid.
	I love her to death, but she's I'm not going to say she's nuts.
	She's very eccentric, and she's determined.
	Everything is astrology to her.
	I'm a cancer, and my thing is rising and Sagittarius.
	She told me today America has an astrological chart with Scorpio and all this shit.
	But she also confided in me, and I don't want to blow up her spot.
	You ready for this one?
	I don't think you're going to.
	I'll pay you a million of these if you can guess.
	Okay.
	Ready?
	What's happening here, yes?
	What else did she say today?
	That's the whole hint?
	Yep.
	What else did she say today while holding a dollar?
	You're never going to get it.
	I'm George Washington.
	You are George Washington.
	She is reincarnated.
	Oh.
	That deserves a million dollars.
	And it gets crazier.
	George Washington's wife, the first lady, she's been reincarnated as this guy that she dated in New York who looks exactly like George Washington's wife.
	The guy looks like George Washington's wife.
	Yes.
	And she goes, isn't it uncanny?
	And she's holding up George Washington next to her face.
	And I'm like, not even remotely close.
	You have like angular features.
	You have like a pointy nose and a pointy chin.
	She's very pretty.
	But George Washington is more blobby, like a blobby nose.
	Yes, he does.
	I have a blobby nose.
	So she goes, well, I had a nose job.
	Okay.
	Oh, okay.
	You had a George Washington nose before this?
	I was like, wait, so you fuck George Washington's wife?
	So you have a wooden nose.
	He had wooden teeth.
	Okay, that's cool.
	And then I said to her, answer me this.
	This has been bugging me for a long time.
	I'm so glad I get to meet you.
	When the British took over Fort Duquesne, and, well, they failed.
	They were killed by the French and the Indians jumping from the trees and shooting them.
	I have a giant painting of it in my dining room.
	George Washington was working with the British soldiers.
	He was like a hired guy, a hired gun.
	And I've always wondered when he saw those guys jumping out of the trees and killing the British, is that when he said, you know what?
	America could do this.
	I want to be on the tree side, and I want to be shooting down at my fellow English cocksuckers, and we could start a whole new country.
	And she didn't answer the question very specifically.
	It was a long time ago, you know.
	Yeah.
	Well, and then she was all about fucking Capricorns.
	But let's see what Billy holds up.
	The man on the face of the $20 bill is the same man who once offered up to 325 times that amount for the return of a runaway enslaved person.
	Talking about Jackson.
	Including extra bonuses for every hundred lashes inflicted upon that man.
	He wasn't sure what he was doing.
	He was really hard on slaves.
	Yes, I heard about it.
	Right, right, right.
	I mean, the same argument can be made there.
	It doesn't matter.
	I mean, people are just.
	Anyway, that was a fun part of the week.
	So sorry to bore subscribers, but...
	So tomorrow, for example, we're going to do riot porn.
	We're just going to show X-rated images and videos of Antifa and Trump supporters having sex.
	No?
	I'm using porn colloquially.
	We're just going to go through a whole bunch of riot footage and, you know, determine patterns through it because you need space to breathe to do that.
	But mid-roll, I would like to say thank you to Johnny Apple CBD, our longest running sponsor.
	They were there at the beginning.
	Johnny Apple CBD is my CBD because Johnny Apple CBD is effective, affordable, and Patriot-owned.
	We're huge fans of Johnny Apple CBD at Censored.tv.
	Right now, my listeners get 20% off all Johnny Apple CBD orders.
	So you go to jacbd.com, use promo code Gavin, and the gummies help you sleep at night.
	Tinctures take the jitters out of the coffee in the morning and help with hangovers.
	And the top of the cream is the perfect post-workout remedy, especially after boxing.
	jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders support patreon own business support people who support us feel as great as i do jacbd.com promo code gap that's our only sponsor this show what yeah maybe we're maybe we're on our way out we're yet another business that was closed down by covid um yeah so tomorrow we'll go through uh a bunch of riot footage and
	oh here's another thing another thing i've done recently so i would be lying in bed on my phone looking at andrew no's twitter and watching actual public free count just seeing riot after riot after riot then you go to bed and you feel like shit so i got this new app again this is uh this is a free promotion they'd never they'd never be associated with this show anyway it's called pray pray.com pray believe receive cool
	and what you do is it's got all these things to fall asleep to it's got a million different things pray nightly all this but i got like the beginning the story of noah abram to to abraham and you just fall asleep as someone softly amsr tells you the bible they got james darth vader reading the bible oh that's good i'm your father jesus luke 17.
	so that's cool that's what i was doing the night ones i'm not interested in james earl jones it's free no i actually i don't know how much it is i'm rich oh man it's not expensive why are you saying it's free you waste so much money if it is anything it's gonna be like 4.99 and you're probably wearing like uh 400 cigar shoes so now you're just blending all of my bad habits together no no no i've been i haven't bought anything online in months well not months feels like
	or something right now because this is strictly for the dads.
	So I'm sitting there.
	I got my boxing gloves on the edge of the window looking down going, what in the fuck?
	So he can't do anything.
	And cars on the main road are honking because they can't get past him.
	And he's like, I'm sorry.
	I'm just trying to do my job.
	And God knows how long he's been on the road.
	He probably came from like fucking your neck of the woods, Newburgh or whatever, you know, with all his, and he's in traffic and he's on the FDR.
	He finally gets there.
	And then...
	I hate this fucking shit.
	He's almost done.
	He's probably finishing like a 13-hour shift.
	He can't wait to go home and just fucking watch Auto Trade magazine.
	So he gets out and there's three cars that are preventing him, right?
	First car is a taxi cab.
	No one's there.
	He just parked there.
	There's a million places on the other side of the street or just down a bit.
	No, I want to park here because there's my store.
	So that taxicab driver pissed me off.
	The middle white car, I can't see what he is.
	But the truck driver, I don't care what he said.
	He could have said, fuck you, you cocksucker, move.
	And he'd be right.
	If I was that person, I'd go, all right, all right, all right.
	Chill out, chill out.
	Sorry, sorry.
	I'm wrong.
	I'm fucking up your day.
	But this guy was, I could hear the guy yelling back at him.
	And then he goes, as he pulls out, he goes, honk, honk.
	And he goes, gives him the finger and goes, and that guy did one of these.
	I want to see a topographical map on who does this, who does this, and who does this.
	Yeah, that's good.
	What do you do?
	You know, I want to force myself to do this, but I'm pretty sure I just do that.
	I haven't done that in a long time.
	This is my culture, my people.
	Yeah, me too.
	Thumb tucked in, and the finger, I was going to say the penis, the ET finger, like as probing, anally probing as possible.
	Fuck you.
	I do like this one better, though.
	Me too.
	I wish this was my people.
	I know, but I wish I came from wherever this area is.
	I don't want to.
	I feel like it's Milwaukee.
	Yeah, maybe.
	Detroit.
	Yeah, because it kind of looks gunnish.
	Yeah.
	I wonder what LA is.
	Maybe it's that.
	I know my one friend who's like, this is hard to just do.
	He wouldn't even point that.
	He'd just be like.
	Here's another.
	You know how Trump says fucking?
	Where he's like, fucking.
	I'm going to make that my finger.
	It's this.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I don't even care enough to flip you off.
	It is a disaster.
	If you replayed it and watched it frame by frame, you'd realize one finger was slightly higher than the other.
	If you check out the photo finish, yeah.
	The middle finger's in the lead.
	Gary, Keith, and Ron are watching a baseball game.
	I'm not naming my team anymore because I'm still mad at them.
	But I said it was Gary, Keith, and Ron talking.
	They're the three guys who deal with that team's games.
	And I go, are they all married?
	My son goes, what?
	What kind of question is that?
	And I go, Gary, Keith, and Ron.
	Are they all married?
	He goes, oh, I thought you meant everyone in baseball.
	Yeah, every single player in every single team are 100% of them all married.
	That was my question.
	So anyway, sorry.
	So to go back to this.
	So now the cab driver shows up.
	This guy's still like, honk, honk.
	And I'm sitting there going, I'm trying to meet eyes with him.
	I go, what is their problem?
	And he thinks I'm fucking with him.
	And so he's wearing it first.
	I go, and then I have to yell, move your car.
	So I yell that and he's like, oh, okay, car.
	I'm not in a car.
	I'm in a truck.
	So he's on my side.
	And then he just sort of goes.
	So then, I forgot to tell you, the first car was this black lady.
	She's got a Black Lives Matter shirt on.
	She seems to be below the poverty line, we'll say.
	And she comes out and she's messing with stuff.
	And he goes, you got to move.
	So then he goes to do the white car and he goes through the taxi.
	My eyes are on the white car and the taxi.
	I don't see what she does.
	He comes back.
	Now the white car's gone.
	The taxi's gone.
	He comes back.
	She's not in her car anymore.
	And I'm the same as him.
	I'm like, where the fuck?
	They're throwing themselves into the road, gladly.
	She went into the grocery store to go get something.
	With the cars.
	Oh, my.
	You're parked illegally.
	You could park illegally on the other side of the street.
	And that would have been great.
	That would have been fantastic.
	But she couldn't even like go and move.
	So he could finish his job.
	So like six people could get to work.
	And I'm like, what the fuck?
	And now I'm just waiting with my big fat hands perched over the side like a parakeet.
	And yeah, that was my attitude.
	I'm flabbergasted.
	At first, I think I'm hallucinating.
	I don't have my glasses on, right?
	Because I'm at the gym.
	But I'm like, maybe her body's shaped like a chair and she has a chair just patterned shirt on.
	I can't be looking at a driver's seat.
	But I was.
	I'm looking through the windshield.
	And then she comes back and she has something that's like this big, like luncheon meat.
	What?
	Or cheese.
	And I could say, like, I know, I know.
	It's like, I told you to move your car.
	It's like, I know you told me.
	I'm moving my car.
	And I'm like, what's the matter with you?
	You turn around.
	And she doesn't know where that voice is coming from because I'm up on the third floor leaning down.
	And I go, what the fuck's move your car?
	She goes, I am moving my car, motherfucker.
	Yeah.
	How dare you?
	12 minutes.
	I'm not exaggerating.
	12 minutes.
	Bing, bing.
	The bell's been ringing.
	I've missed like five rounds staring at this with my little budgie arms.
	And she gets in her car and drives away.
	And eventually, now the 18-wheeler full of fuck knows how much produce and what's the value of that?
	Probably like two aisles worth of.
	Probably like half a million dollars of stuff can finally pull into its spot because of this one woman.
	You come across as a bitch.
	I was yelling at her.
	and then you don't realize how loud you are when you're yelling at a window in a gym, and then I turn around and everyone's like, What the fuck?
	What was that about?
	And I have to tell the whole story.
	Mike!
	If you're not a dad, that story is like, so you were yelling at someone who was parked wrong?
	But if you are a dad, it's like this is as heavy as it is.
	This is the same heaviness.
	You're staying at someone's house and you feel like it's a little cold.
	So you turn up, and then maybe at 11 p.m.
	You're staying over, you turn up their thermostat.
	That's weird.
	Like to 72.
	And then you come down your bathrobe and you see someone's changed the thermostat.
	That's inappropriate.
	That's how, that's dad outraged.
	That's how outraged I was.
	She had changed my thermostat.
	Fucking, I mean.
	Also in the news.
	Oh, we should probably just end it, right?
	Oh, it's 33 on.
	Yep.
	Let's go behind the paywall.
	So I have another story from the bar.
	And we will sort of briefly talk about news.
	We'll talk about this abduction with these kids.
	But that's not for you, freeloaders.
	Thank you for tuning in.
	People who have paid, please stick around.
	We've got a lot to discuss and some phone calls to take.
	And to both parties, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I don't think I like Woodford Reserve anymore.
	It's got like this woody, oaky aftertaste, whereas Makers has that cotton candy aftertaste.
	What do you think about a different send-off for the people that don't pay?
	Nicer one?
	Not a nicer one, like a like instead of get fire get in trouble, like they get their own little free one.
	Oh, thank you.
	Let's put that in this suggestion, bonfire.
	Okay, here's another story from the bar today.
	So her brother comes in, and their dad was an ER doctor.
	Ah, shit.
	I should have played the Zenoa video on the free part.
	I could put it at the end of the credits or something.
	But without your narration, it would be.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	Let me write that down.
	So at the end of this, before we take calls, I'm going to do a Zenoa piece, right?
	And then when you put it up on iTunes, take that Zenoa ending and stick it in the ending of that one.
	And then it's get fired, get in trouble.
	Oh, before you get fired, okay.
	Yeah, obviously.
	Wrinkly eyes.
	She's got fucking wrinkly eyes.
	Okay, so we're at the bar.
	So I think they got money, right?
	The barmaid and her brother, because the dad was a doctor.
	He's dead.
	And so the brother comes in.
	He's got, you know, the new gear, the new nikes, and I think he's probably doing pretty good for a pussy.
	He seems to be about 40 years old.
	And she goes, they're talking about some chick, and he goes, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
	And then she's all like, oh, well, he's, she's like a, you're both very stubborn.
	the called party only This call and all participants will be recorded and may be monitored.
	If you are an attorney, hang up and contact the facility to request that your number be made private.
	To accept this free call, press 1 to refuse this free call.
	Thank you for using Securis.
	You may start the conversation now.
	Hey, Mercedes.
	Hey, Gavin.
	How you doing?
	Hey, I'm good.
	We're recording a show, so you're on the air.
	Is that okay?
	Yeah, that's great.
	I missed a million of your calls because my piece of shit phone was broken.
	I have a new phone now, so maybe it'll be different.
	Well, that's good.
	Well, I would like to speak to you more.
	So hi, everybody.
	Hi, Marsides.
	Oh, that was a giant audience of 20,000 people saying, hey.
	Hi, 20,000 people.
	Hello.
	It's so nice to talk to you.
	I'm glad that I will be able to speak to you more often.
	Are you seeing the news?
	Are you seeing that America is on fire?
	Yes, I am seeing that America is on fire, and I'm seeing that fascists everywhere are taking over liberal cities.
	And that thankfully Donald Trump is trying to do something about it.
	Well, it's amazing how they're still trying to blame this on Trump.
	Like, these are Dem mayors, Dem governors, that Trump is saying, can I help?
	They're saying, fuck you.
	And then they say, oh, this is, I even saw Joy Reed the other day say, these are white supremacists infiltrating these peaceful protests and turning them into riots.
	No.
	No, no, no.
	And I think it's very clear that these are organized.
	And I would suspect, you know, first of all, let's talk about fascism.
	You know, everybody, Americans are so woefully misinformed about what fascism is.
	Fascism has always come from the left.
	Whether it was the Nazi socialist right or whether it was Mussolini, historically fascists always come from the left.
	Always.
	They are leftist organizations.
	They're always socialist in major.
	They always stem from some sort of communist group that is usually unified, has a grievance with the government.
	They're anti-authoritarian, tech, tech, tech.
	And if you take a look at the contraband that was confiscated by the feds in Portland, you'll notice that it was all uniform.
	So new, you know, new spray bottles, new lasers.
	That means that somebody's organizing this.
	That means that this is funded.
	If you take a look and you notice that the DAs are not charging people, that means that they are complicit.
	So what I also noticed, if you notice that BLM got a big payout from the Chicago PD in 2012 because of a staged protest there for quote-unquote police brutality,
	I suspect that there's some sort of shakedown element.
	Go back to, what was it, Rahm Emanuel?
	Go back to these liberal litigators.
	There's something, something that's stinking Denmark here.
	DLM was created by these Chicago litigators during the Obama administration.
	Who's organizing this?
	Clubono, who benefits?
	So I think that they are getting so desperate right now because Trump is doing so well.
	He's been doing so well.
	He said everything he said he was going to do.
	He got us out of all these fascist green courts.
	He has been cutting us all the deals he said he was going to do.
	He's been pulling our troops back.
	And I think they're so desperate because he has done so well that I think that they're organizing this as a big shakedown.
	I think they're trying to get money out of the local PDs.
	Notice it's all these really liberal jurisdictions that have extreme laws against any sort of police use of force.
	Portland, Seattle, Chicago, New York, Wright, Boston.
	And I think what it is is these liberal litigators that are in bed with BLM.
	I think that they're using this as a shakedown.
	And notice they're using extreme brutality.
	I think these kids are getting these local indigents ramped up on mess.
	And they're attacking the police, hoping that the police will use some form of brutality against them so that they can sue, they can get some money.
	And I think that they're also completely organized.
	I bet if you follow these sneaky little trailbrecks, you're going to find Rob Emmanuel, BLM, likely to be alone at the head of the snake.
	I like that theory.
	Like instead of this massive Soros conspiracy, this could be as simple as a cabal of litigators who make millions suing the cops, saying, let's get more violence from cops, force their hand, and then we can sue more.
	Because I noticed at the BLM rally in New York, there were these sort of chubby lesbian lawyers who had made all their signs.
	They were handing them out to everyone.
	And I thought, why are all of these BLM Antifa things run by these lesbian lawyers?
	And then now I'm realizing through you that they could be, their bread and butter could be suing the police.
	Bingo.
	Huh.
	Yep, and it had.
	And Clebono, who benefits?
	Look at who's the head of that snake.
	It's the Obamas.
	It's Rahm Emmanuel.
	It's all those dirty liberal litigators.
	It all goes back to Chicago because BLM was created because of the Obamas, and all that money filters right back to the DNC where it gets laundered.
	Yep.
	Comes out clean.
	Okay.
	That's who I think is benefiting.
	I think that's a great theory.
	I'm impressed.
	Mercedes, we got to get back to the show, but thank you very much for calling.
	And if you call Wednesdays, if you call Wednesdays around this time, then we'll pick up.
	All right.
	I love all of you.
	Take care.
	Bye.
	A wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
	Of course, if Mercedes guilty, we'll be deleting this episode.
	Deleting this episode.
	Totally mortified.
	Totally roguing this shit.
	It's sort of like when I had Damien, what's his name from the Memphis 3 on my show, and he seems like a cool guy, but there's a little part of my head going, please, God, don't tell me you killed those kids.
	I asked Anthony, he said the exact same thing was going through his head.
	Not your whole head.
	Sure, sure.
	Women, you have to understand the way our brains work.
	We can have like five heads at once.
	So while we're talking to you about a very serious thing, like say your accountant is a hot woman with big tits, you're going through everything.
	But a part of your brain is like, I wonder what you'd look like with lingerie on all what I would do to you.
	I would fucking bite your ass.
	You'd have a bruise.
	You'd have a bite mark bruise on your ass.
	But that guy is, he's not even invited to the party.
	He's on a little exercise bike way in the corner.
	That's weird.
	What's weird?
	About that, the litigator stuff is that Trump gave $45 million to Wisconsin after the Kenosha stuff to rebuild, but he said a lot of that's going to go to new prosecutors.
	So there is like a...
	Well, like...
	Remember that Jewish broad we did a whole thing on?
	Do you remember what I'm talking about?
	So the night of my talk, Antifa mobbed a journalist, beat the shit out of him, took his equipment.
	Three of the ten were charged.
	They were Kai Russo, who's like a weird tranny rich kid.
	Caleb Perkins.
	And Finbar Slonum, who goes by a woman's name now because he's trans.
	But Caleb Perkins, if you look him up, C-A-L-E-B.
	No, go back to Google Image, Caleb Perkins.
	Because he's been in court a few times fighting cops.
	There's a few Caleb Perkins, but see if you can see him in court.
	We got to find that woman, right?
	She had a weird name, too.
	Oh, damn.
	She's a big, busty, big, busted Jewrod.
	And she's one of these fairies that appears when Antifa gets arrested.
	Now, before that phone call, I'm like, the Soros octopus up here has these little lawyers doing everything.
	But now I'm like, wait a minute, you don't need an octopus up here.
	Just the tentacle could be its own thing.
	And it's possible that these lawyers have banded together and say, let's make sure we always protect Antifa and anyone who messes with cops.
	This guy attacked a cop's horse, I believe.
	There we go.
	Now, what's the charge there?
	This one's her, by the way.
	Oh, she's in here somewhere.
	Yeah, what's her name?
	Moira Meltza Cohen.
	Moira Meltza Cohen.
	It's possible that we don't need to go higher than Moira.
	Moira and her friends could be the New York division of let's fuck with the police.
	And they do it under the guise.
	Like, what's the name of that page you're on?
	Tradition Weeks 2020.
	So this is just some dumb activist group that she's in.
	This is daily news.
	But yeah, she's in here somewhere.
	I'll find her.
	Yeah, you can find her down there.
	And it's possible that her and friends, like, they don't even need, you could just be like 10, 10 people, and they take a portion of their salary and it goes to signs.
	You'll notice at all these rallies, all their signs are the same.
	I've seen, when I was with Project Veritas, we went undercover.
	I went undercover on a Black Lives Matter thing at Grand Central, and I saw their signs.
	And I saw the lesbians, and they all look like Cohen over there.
	And they're handing out these signs.
	And they've obviously been to Kinko's and spent a fortune.
	And they have, you know, a pre-allotted budget for that.
	And Max and John didn't have that.
	Max and John had to find their own lawyers.
	I think she's gone.
	Wait, wait.
	Am I in the right place?
	Unless she's on a different page.
	That's funny.
	Maybe she saw that I called her out.
	Yeah, she's not on this.
	Interesting.
	But the text from that is in the email that we, you know, Moira uses the personal pronoun she and they.
	They're admitted to practice law in New York State, Southern Northern District.
	Show yourself when you're talking, please.
	Okay.
	He's reading what used to be a write-up for Moira before she vanished.
	Northern and Western Districts of New York, the Western District of Virginia, Proact Weiss, say North Dakota, North Dakota, hold degrees from University of Michigan, University of that's basically it.
	And then her email and stuff.
	And then Chelsea Manning's.
	Thanks for that extra piece of information there.
	That's what we couldn't find on the website.
	No, there's the about me.
	Yeah, this is the first one.
	This is a much more relevant write-up.
	Scroll up so I can read it.
	I love this quote.
	So this is what they tell themselves when they're really just part of this.
	They're ambulance chasers is what they are.
	But they're worse than ambulance chasers because they foment the accident.
	So imagine you put oil all over the roads so the cars would crash into each other and then you could go and help sue.
	My vision, but then instead of saying I'm an ambulance chaser, like I've met these injury lawyers.
	I met one in Vegas once.
	He was super drunk and we were just sitting at the bar and he just goes, I can't believe what I do is legal.
	He goes, I just fucking milk companies.
	And I got all pissed off and I told him to fuck off and he's like, whoa, there's some sort of morality or something.
	Anyway, my vision of the relationship between law and justice is shaped by my commitment to radical social movements.
	Wow.
	Yeah, because they pay the bills.
	I believe that the law is but one small tool in struggles for collective liberation.
	I aim to share my legal expertise with clients who have their own skills and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	This is what I always wonder about these people.
	When she's lying in bed and she's not listening to the Prey app, is she like, oh, wait, I am a shitbag.
	I sometimes forget that.
	Like guys who cheat on their girlfriends, they'll be so indignant when they're fighting about it, they'll forget that they're actually guilty.
	How dare you?
	Like the guy in that video drop, what?
	And then later on, they'll go, oh, wait a minute.
	She's right.
	I did cheat on her.
	What?
	And like Sean King.
	Jim Code was joking around once about how Sean King is, yo, basically what we got to do.
	But when he's in a car, like, does the real Sean ever come out?
	When some car cuts him off, he almost goes off the edge of a bridge or something.
	He's like, God damn it.
	Holy shit.
	And he's like, no, I mean, like, goddamn, nigga, what the fuck, yo?
	Or I wonder if his wife is ever lying next to him and he's lying there going, you know what you are?
	You're a fucking asshole.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's the problem.
	You don't know how to swing.
	You got to keep your left arm straight, dummy.
	And then she's like, hey, Sean, you were talking to Seep.
	Yo, I was what the fuck, man.
	I was probably like traumatizing shit.
	He loves white shit, but he talks about it black.
	Like, yo, you see Nicholas, he hit that golf putt and then the hockey with that golf stick machine on a computer.
	I'm a rap rooter.
	What?
	Rap rooter.
	This isn't very important, but I have to finish the story.
	So, good-looking guy, right, comes in the bar.
	It's the barmaid's girlfriend.
	I mean, sorry, brother.
	And they're talking about this chick.
	And I go, I need a JPEG.
	I can't, we're not discussing anything without a JPEG.
	So he goes, oh, I got a picture.
	I got a picture.
	He shows me his phone.
	It's like one of these, it looks like one of these protests.
	It is an obese.
	I would say her stomach is like that.
	That's hurting my stomach to push out that much.
	She's like this wide.
	Like what a nude midget probably looks like.
	Who's so kid?
	Here we go.
	Undone.
	No tits.
	Like mulatto something.
	A nude pick?
	No, but I could tell by this.
	She's wearing a big sweater that was hiding her disgusting girth.
	And she, he's like 40.
	She was like 29 or something.
	Like a stupid child.
	I understand if you're going to go for young chicks.
	I get the mentality there, but shouldn't it be hot?
	Like, what?
	You go for an ugly 29-year-old?
	And I just go, she's a five.
	Why are we talking?
	I don't like the butt chick.
	Like, this isn't a conversation.
	It's like saying, oh, man, I'm not allowed to eat toast.
	Okay.
	It's toast.
	Who gives a shit?
	Why are we...
	The why of things.
	Oh, someone wouldn't let me have their pumpkin ale.
	They've made homebrewed pumpkin IPA.
	Okay.
	That's unfortunate.
	End of conversation.
	And then I was kind of disgusted by him.
	I was like, why am I...
	Now you're below me.
	Like, now you're a five.
	Your five cooties are getting all over me.
	And then a doctor comes into the bar and he's got this like, hey, doc, you know, there's the doc at every bar.
	And sometimes they'll ask him something.
	He doesn't want to talk about medicine.
	It's like, so what happens if it gets affected?
	He's like, well, a lot of bad things could happen.
	If it's staff, it's probably going to die.
	But he's a chiropractor.
	You know what a chiropractor is?
	That's a surfer from New York.
	That's a surfer in the East Hamptons.
	You're not a doctor.
	Chiropractory is a myth.
	It's the astrology of the back.
	So all of this compression and you pushing and it's hocus pocus.
	You're a liar.
	The fag capitals of the world.
	It's fake.
	Oh, I've been hunched over a computer for 12 years, but if you go, I'm fixed.
	You're thinking of Woody from Toy Story.
	You're thinking of a toy, not a human.
	You can't just crack us back.
	Now all my discs are back.
	There we go.
	And they talk about the meniscus and all this.
	Yeah, okay, you memorized some words.
	Now you're a doctor.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	So many phonies around.
	Like, everyone in the world should, me included, should say, I don't go to work for a week.
	How is the world different?
	I think the world would be less amused if I was there.
	I did Red Pill a Generation, and the Proud Boys are the only ones fighting back against people who are burning down the fucking country.
	Curtis Silba, we should get him on the show.
	He was just talking about the Proud Boys on the radio, saying, where are they?
	We got to get them back.
	Too bad they keep throwing them in jail.
	They're the only ones to fight back.
	His membership is up off the charts, by the way.
	Yeah, probably's talking about going into Portland.
	How is that going to turn out?
	I emailed him just before the show.
	I said, we need to get you on.
	I'm like a young Curtis Silwa, even though I'm probably older than you.
	All right, so we covered everything there.
	Proud boys, going to Portland, blah, blah, blah.
	Riot porn tomorrow.
	So I guess here, I'm going to do the ending now, right, for the previous thing.
	Okay, so this is what we'll go into.
	Oh, wait, before we do that, though, two more things we got to cover.
	One, Joe Rogan.
	So Joe Rogan moves to Spotify for a mere $100 million.
	Milo is disgusted that he edited Milo out and me out and Alex Jones out and Owen Benjamin and a bunch of controversial people.
	And a few just duds, like Joe List, who's just not a funny person.
	Then Alex Jones comes on and says, no, it's a misunderstanding.
	They're just transferring them over and those ones didn't get transferred.
	Okay.
	Just seems like the ones that didn't get transferred are the very controversial ones.
	Although, they could have been his favorite ones, too.
	But then why are your favorites hard to transfer over?
	Maybe they weigh more?
	Yeah.
	When you got to carry them over.
	But I trust Alex Jones.
	So I don't know what's going on there.
	I think Alex recognizes that Joe's going to be in Austin and it could be a huge boon to Infowars if they get together.
	So maybe he's being extra trusting.
	I'm much more dubious.
	But we'll see what happens because Jordan Peterson's daughter was complaining and then her episode is up now.
	Interesting.
	So we'll see what goes on with that.
	And then the last piece of news before we get to our Zenoa ending and start taking calls is this fucking abduction with the kids.
	So I told you on yesterday's show we're going to do some deep diving.
	I did.
	And guess what I got?
	The same fucking information again and again and again.
	Of course, it's not 39 people were not on a truck.
	There were not 39 kids on a truck.
	This was a weeks-long operation.
	There was a big bus where I think they got like eight or 12, but over the course of the operation, they ended up getting about 39 kids.
	But I cannot find any kind of like mano-e-mano normal talk about it.
	Everything is in legal documents.
	Even a guy I know who's linked to the FBI, won't say how, I said, what's the real story there?
	And he sends me like the FBI press release and the 72 people who were arrested and what their criminal records are.
	I'm like, I know.
	What were these illegal alien kids that were being used to traffic?
	Like you say, this is my son, and then you send him back down, and this is my son, and you send him back down.
	Or is it a 15-year-old crackhead where they go, hey, you're going to become a whore now.
	Go suck that guy's dick or we're going to beat you up.
	I understand all of this.
	I understand everything.
	But this is turning into a Vegas thing where we hear about this global event.
	Like this should be on the news in Stuttgart, Germany.
	But we don't have any fucking details besides the same sort of police report again and again and again.
	I'm so fucking confused.
	Who were the kids?
	What was the context?
	Like, where's the crying parents?
	My baby's back home.
	Did they rob an orphanage and an 18-wheeler?
	Okay, so let's do the Zenoa ending.
	So yes, as I say, justiceforliberty.com, we have a new payment structure now.
	The old one got hacked.
	The way to donate to Justice for Liberty is to either go to Gavin's Doodles and make a donation on their donation box or bid on one of the doodles.
	I think the next wave is going to be John's drawings.
	And I hope those do well because whether you like Proud Boys or not or even believe in this cause, it's cool to have a prison drawing.
	It's closed now.
	We're going to reopen it shortly.
	No one wanted that, unfortunately.
	Really?
	Yeah, Piss Broom got zero bids.
	Oh, that one I want, but Piss Broom.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I'll take it.
	So we've raised $9,000, and I've just been sending it to Zenoa.
	I say, like, eventually if we oversend to you, you'll have to send some to Max.
	You know what I mean?
	It's $50,500, Max, and John.
	But she sent a video in.
	Did I send that to you?
	Oh, it was that WeTransfer link, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I got it.
	Give me one minute.
	Okay.
	She's very thankful for this.
	Now, when you see this video, I want you to keep in mind that this woman and these children have been denied their father for four years.
	And please pay attention to the addresses we do at the end of this show.
	These guys, they talk to me all the time, when you send them just some dumb note, some postcard, that's amazing.
	It makes their day.
	It's like Christmas when you're in there.
	Send them a meme.
	Send them some dumb story.
	Hey, get this.
	Our local school has diaper day, where everyone at the school has to wear a diaper.
	It's supposed to raise awareness about the elderly.
	Like some dumb anecdote like that with the newspaper article folded in.
	Like just retardation.
	You can't, don't send lots of marker up things because the prisons think that you are hiding LSD in the ink.
	So make sure it's just normal pen to paper, a normal printout.
	I assume newspaper articles are allowed.
	But yeah, these four people have been denied their patriarch because he's a Nazi.
	Why is he a white supremacist?
	Because he's a fascist.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, that is different, you realize.
	Well, why is he a fascist then?
	Well, he beat up anti-fascists.
	Oh, were they just like in a picnic or something?
	No, they picked a fight with him, but he, so they wanted to fight.
	So it was mutual combat.
	Yeah, but he fought back too hard and he kicked one too long.
	Oh, so that guy must have sued him or pressed charges?
	No, that guy went home, told the cops to fuck off.
	Like, this is one of the most egregious examples of...
	Wait, that doesn't look like the right one.
	It was the only one.
	Oh, shit.
	That's a different one.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	But let's see that one.
	I think they're both very similar.
	Okay.
	Hello.
	This is DC Kinsman and John and I, we have three beautiful children.
	This is Liberty, JJ, and Zola.
	Say hi.
	Hi.
	We are very grateful for all the donations and the support that you guys have given us through this really tough time.
	The kids haven't seen him since December.
	Liberty hasn't seen him since October.
	And so it's been a little hard.
	And we're really appreciative of all the help globally.
	So thanks again.
	Okay, baby.
	Thanks again, you guys, for your help.
	It means a lot to us.
	It means a lot to John.
	He gets so many letters of support.
	And he just doesn't even know what to do with it.
	He's overwhelmed.
	We're all overwhelmed.
	And we really want to say thank you so much.
	Bye-bye.
	She's good, right?
	That's good.
	She should do a show.
	That'd be cool.
	Why don't we get her on the network?
	You know what?
	She never stutters when she did that video that's on Justice for Liberty.
	That was just one take, no script.
	Off the cuff.
	Hi, my name is Cece Kinsman, and this is my daughter, Liberty.
	And her dad, John Kinsman.
	It's weird seeing them age.
	Yeah, that's a younger child.
	Yeah.
	It's not speaking right there.
	He's defending himself against a domestic terrorist organization, Antifa, who decided that the night of the speech that my husband attended, that they were going to vandalize the club and leave a manifesto promising more violence.
	So yeah, that is.
	So why don't you do this?
	When I say, all right, we've already seen that.
	Then you cut to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	You're seeing behind the scenes how we work, folks.
	We've already seen that.
	All right.
	Well, I think we're done chatting.
	You know what would be a fun idea?
	We're talking about these t-shirts we're going to do.
	Why don't I...
	Hello?
	Are you going to open up Photoshop and then...
	No, simmer down.
	You said you've already seen people sending in some?
	Yeah.
	I think they're in the Melking keyboard out of batteries again.
	For fuck's peace.
	God damn it.
	I'm just too verbose.
	Too prolific.
	Why are you laughing?
	Verbose and prolific are just epic words for a keyboard dying.
	Shysa.
	Do you have any batteries?
	Let me see.
	I'll check around studio.
	Art biscuits.
	Oh, here we go.
	What is this?
	Those might be the old ones that I was too scared to throw up.
	So it goes negative.
	Negative.
	So we were talking about these shirts we want to do where they look mainstream and you look closer and there's just something wrong.
	But why don't I pull up a picture of the Rolling Stones and then spend the next hour drawing them?
	And then that could be the Rolling Stones shirt.
	Did you see mine?
	I sent it to you.
	Yeah, it sucks.
	Why?
	There's subtlety in it.
	Did you notice the things that were all wonky?
	Yeah, but here's the problem.
	A, a t-shirt shouldn't have, isn't a square.
	Well, yeah, it's one of those like graphic silvenir shirts.
	No, a t-shirt should have some dynamic, like, look at the Out for Bud shirt, right?
	So this sucks because it's a square.
	So now you have a square print on your shirt, like they just discovered Iron Ons that year.
	Yeah, like it's bad.
	B, you have to get really close to see what's wrong.
	And even when you see it, you just sort of go, eh.
	That's okay.
	His hands all messed up.
	That's terrible, right?
	His head looks like shit.
	God damn it.
	You're not.
	I put glasses on them.
	Why are you putting it at an angle so no one will steal it?
	No, that's retarded.
	Yeah, the text is all shitty.
	Look, I made his tie red, and he's got stupid glasses.
	Yeah, that's not the joke.
	That's my first one.
	That's terrible.
	Look at the font with the kerning.
	Like the in black are like right next to each other.
	And the two is just a different font.
	Oh, my God.
	No.
	I thought it's a great, shitty shirt.
	It's a terrible shitty shirt.
	So it's a good shirt.
	So wait, it's not a good shirt, but it's not a shitty shirt.
	It's just, you'll see when I do it.
	Like, it's all about the distance.
	At 10 feet, my Harry Potter shirt is going to look like a Harry Potter shirt.
	At one foot, you're going to go, what is that?
	It's going to look like a butthole surface shirt.
	We got some here.
	I don't know if you're going to like them then.
	I already hate them.
	This is a very subtle thing I'm talking about.
	I like Beyond being spelled wrong and like the, what type of CGI is that, you know?
	That sucks.
	There's more.
	Wait, not the best.
	Also, like, who has a Buzz Lightyear shirt besides retard Ryan?
	Children.
	So yeah, we're not selling that.
	What else?
	Was that a reader or you?
	That was a viewer.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so the viewer sucks, and he should be ashamed of himself.
	Stop, cancel your subscription.
	Ouch.
	That's my new favorite thing.
	We don't want you to line out our content.
	Social distortion said that.
	They said, don't come to our shows if you support Trump.
	And I think they think that A, the person's going to listen to them.
	And B, they're giving up like millions of dollars.
	If you don't like me, then don't give me money.
	Badass.
	No problems.
	See, the beauty of what I'm doing with the stones today is I'm just going to try my very best.
	And it's going to come out long.
	And it's going to look like it shouldn't be made into a shirt.
	That's a great point.
	That's what Roy Lichtenstein did.
	He said, I'm going to try to recreate these comic book panels perfectly with paint.
	And I'm obviously not going to do a good job.
	So that'll be the charm of it, is that it's a bit off.
	God, he was ugly.
	Did you hear about this Antifa dude who he had a flamethrower and he'd been arrested a bunch of times, but luckily he had big tip Cohen types to save his ass.
	And then they finally got him and he was in the fetal position crying his eyes out.
	That's correct.
	And he looks kind of like Roy Lichtenstein.
	Lichtenstein.
	Lichtenstein.
	Where's the picture of this mofo?
	Yeah, we want to see his face.
	We have to defer to the uglies.
	They're never hunks, right?
	Yeah, there he is.
	When was the last time there was a breathtaking, like Antifa member captured?
	It's a shame I have to put a mask on all the time.
	Yes.
	Check my sexy face out.
	You're fucked, Matt.
	And he pointed a loaded rifle at a cop.
	Pointed a loaded rifle at a cop.
	Brought a flamethrower to a riot.
	Is he going to get close to what Max and John got?
	Is he going to start radio hat?
	Hi.
	I'm in an indie rock band from the 90s in Leeds, England.
	We're called Moretta's Sister.
	One, two, three, four.
	I wet myself.
	It's strong now, but stinky.
	I can't really make fun of people who wet themselves.
	Yeah, it's boom, boom, boom, boom.
	All right, so we covered all that, right?
	Yep.
	Let's get some calls in, dude.
	All right.
	Let me get my picture of the stones.
	And this, due to my buddy Derek, out in Michigan or Minnesota.
	I apologize.
	I forgot where you're from, but Derek.
	He helped with the delay.
	We did some tests.
	And we should be getting audio from this and no delay.
	So look forward to nice quality calls.
	Thanks to Derek.
	Oh, I put in the wrong thing.
	Welcome, post.
	Okay.
	secret to this shirt is for the drawing to suck, but be colored in pretty well.
	And for the rolling stones, like to be their font perfect with the tongue, everything else perfect.
	All right, sir, you're on the line.
	I would maybe mute the show and tune in to the live call 573.
	You're on the line.
	Watching the show.
	He's been.
	Ryan was bragging about how awesome this particular episode is going to be because everything's fixed.
	No, well, sir, can you hear us?
	This is not our fault.
	Sir, you have to turn off the radio.
	Sir, you're on the line and you're going to really be upset.
	Sir, you're annoying us.
	You're going to be upset when you're like, oh, I missed my chance because I was sitting here listening to you.
	It's my fault by promoting alcohol on the show.
	So all our callers are drunk.
	Can you hear us, dude?
	Can you hear us?
	Hang up, Brian.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	That was the drunk.
	He was the drunk guy.
	He called before.
	He just caught on.
	Owen.
	Hey.
	Hey, I got an idea for sure.
	Okay.
	I'm going to revert, but just something like some type of variation that says, this sucks so much fucking shit or this sucks shit.
	And that's it.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	That was a great idea.
	That shirt sucks shit.
	Hey, what's going on?
	It's James.
	James.
	Hi, James.
	James?
	I think we have good quality calls.
	This is bad callers.
	Okay, just hang up.
	He's hung up on.
	Mark, obnoxious rock star.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Yes.
	Hey, Gavin.
	What's up, dude?
	I'm a fan of the band REM.
	I don't know if you are.
	I like their early period.
	But I can't stand Michael Steid.
	I just think he's one of the most annoying people politically.
	And I have a theory.
	I have a theory.
	I think that a lot of people have to fuck up to him.
	I think he's a very prominent figure in the alternative scene.
	And a lot of people, if they want to really be accepted, somehow there's just like this aura about him that makes people want to just gravitate towards him.
	And I don't know if you know him or not or come across him.
	I heard he reached.
	I heard he smells really bad.
	And your connection is really bad too.
	You're cutting in and out.
	It's really irritating.
	Yeah, I know.
	Oh, you know this?
	Okay.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thank you.
	I'm not really familiar with Michael Stipe's politics.
	I'm imagining that he hates Trump.
	I talked to a bartender of his the other day at Mamofuku speaking of David Chang.
	And he said, who are his biggest customers?
	Michael Stipe and who is the other guy?
	But I said, I heard Michael Stipe reek so bad that people avoid him.
	He goes, no, he's a good guy.
	This was a lefty that was saying this.
	But yeah, I don't really have any opinions on Michael Stipe, and I'm not really a fan of REM.
	Yeah, Brian Mason on the line.
	Boy, this is our worst call-in show ever.
	Brian, you better be...
	You there, Brian?
	Here's the thing.
	If you call in, you're going to want to listen to the phone feed because you could hear the show while you wait on the line, and then you won't have to wait for the delay.
	So anybody hearing that now, anybody 45 seconds in the future?
	This is that Mr. Show sketch of the live call-in show.
	Oh, right from last.
	Hello!
	Yeah.
	From like last year.
	Anyone there?
	Okay, if they don't fucking respond immediately, cut out.
	Let's see.
	Gabriel.
	Gabriel.
	Let's say.
	Gabriel.
	Hey, Gavin.
	I'd like to preface with that your humor is a game tonight.
	Oh, thank you very much.
	Yeah.
	So I'll just get into the questions.
	Gavin, I'd like to start.
	Gavin McGuinness, who excels at life and soft-pedaling his homoerotic curiosity.
	And Ryan has to touch Hara, who is blatantly non-faggous, but appears to have a queer hair compulsion.
	I do like a new haircut, though, bud.
	Thanks.
	So my question is, I'm curious of the mental and physical approaches in both of yours' best courting experiences for Gavin, preferably what you've done to win over and or do currently with your wife in a chivalrous regard and Ryan's most memorable,
	proudest dating moments.
	Why would you write down these questions?
	Asking for educational purposes.
	Why would you write down these questions?
	So that I don't miss an important word.
	They're worded well, right?
	Yeah.
	It's just a red.
	It's a silly late night.
	Not even late night.
	It's a silly talk show.
	Oh, well, I mean, Don't undermine your influence.
	I genuinely am interested in these things that I just asked.
	I feel like it'll be of value.
	Yeah, by the way, you were great on the show, Netflix show, Love on the Spectrum.
	He's calling you Autistic, sir.
	So to answer your question, I guess.
	I guess to answer your question, my thing with courting women is, first of all, I make it very clear that I'm bananas about you.
	Obviously, you have to get in the door first before you establish that.
	You can't walk up to a woman and say, holy shit, you're so fucking hot.
	So there's your friends and their friends, and they know people, and you guys end up with your crew sort of starting to mix with their crew.
	So you got to be a social person to begin with to just set up the whole concept.
	But now you're out and about and you're doing this and doing that.
	And so as soon as there's like a doodly-doo joke, a diddly-dee joke, a song in the jukebox, a selfie.
	Ryan's actually very good at cold call, cold calling chicks.
	I don't mean on the phone.
	I mean like at a bar.
	What's your thing you do?
	Like with beanbag and alligator arms?
	You went over and you're like, hey.
	Hey.
	I did my Jimmy Henry.
	No, it was like a magic trick type of thing or the jukebox.
	The jukebox at this bar we go to has a selfie thing.
	So it's like, hey, let's take a selfie.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's a good in.
	But, okay, so let's ignore the setting it up.
	But once there's been like a little bit of rapport, like something, I always do the like, you are so fucking hot.
	Holy shit.
	It's hard to look at you.
	And then my famous one I keep telling guys is say you can't look at them and just be like, okay, I'm trying to tell this story, but you're too pretty.
	So we walked in there on Thursday and then they giggle, blah, blah, blah.
	And then when you get them home, it's kind of heavy, right?
	We're going to fuck probably.
	And that's weird.
	I mean, I still think sex is weird at the age of 50.
	My penis isn't so engorged with blood and then shit shoots out of it.
	That's odd.
	So I always tell guys, and I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself, Bill Murray in stripes.
	You got to be the sort of dude who picks her up and puts her on the stove and then has a spatula under her ass.
	You're semi-aggressive, but you're silly and fun, and you're taking control of the situation.
	That's kind of how I got my wife.
	The Aunt Jemima treatment.
	The Aunt Jemima treatment.
	Just watch Stripes and just be Bill Murray.
	And Martin Short says that once.
	He goes, when I was starting out, I was meeting my idols like Steve Martin and I did three omegos with Chevy Chase.
	I wasn't qualified to be in that film.
	Those guys have been doing forever.
	So he said, I'm an actor.
	Let me picture the kind of guy who would be comfortable around Steve Martin and Chevy Chase.
	It'd be Bill Murray.
	And I'll just become that guy.
	So he was acting.
	While acting.
	While acting.
	Before acting.
	Just to be on set.
	He was acting offset chill with Steve Martin.
	That's very cool.
	Yeah.
	So here's the ultimate key to getting laid and meeting girls is don't be yourself.
	Unless you want to date them.
	You're way too horny.
	And mine was a proud moment in dating?
	I guess that's what he wants.
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	While in the relationship.
	Proud moment we were dating.
	Yeah, don't ask Ryan anything.
	You look back upon and you're just like, damn, you know, I was a chad or something like that, you know?
	Like I deserved what I got.
	Oh, I see.
	Well, I had a turning point with an ex a couple exes ago.
	And by the way, why I was so good with alligator arms a bee bag chair is because I wasn't interested in them at all.
	So it kind of came off like I didn't care whether that was going to go good or not.
	Oh, that's actually in my hit movie, How to Be a Man.
	I talk about shitty tits.
	You imagine that they have the worst tits imaginable, like pancakes with these nipples that have big coarse hairs coming out.
	Have you not seen How to Be a Man?
	I have, but I don't remember anything.
	My memory shot.
	There's a shitty tit scene in it where we made these prosthetic tits that are just disgusting.
	So then, when she has these hairy nipples and like zits on them and stuff, you're talking to her and you're like, I'm kind of a cool guy for talking to this circus freak who's actually hideous.
	I'm actually a nice, sweet person speaking to this woman who's deformed.
	All right, that's enough, dude.
	That's enough tips.
	Let's do another call.
	We have Daniel talking about the future.
	Future.
	Daniel.
	Hello, fellows.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Okay, regarding that last call, I would say it's okay to be yourself.
	You just got to make the girl not think that you're just trying to fuck her, and you got to be okay with not fucking her.
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	And once she feels comfortable and you're not throwing yourself at her, it makes you want to fuck you.
	It works every time for me.
	Yeah.
	And that's kind of weird, too, though.
	Some girls want you to be really forceful in bed.
	But, you know, my attitude in my single days was always like, try, try, try, try.
	Get maybe a little rough.
	And then when it's like five no's, you're like, all right, bye, good night.
	Like, you don't care.
	But they want you to keep going.
	Right.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	Yeah.
	And, you know, you kiss her a little bit.
	And if she's like a little weary, like, yeah, you'll make it.
	Take me home.
	I'll take you.
	And then she's like, calling you the next day.
	I think I could parse out what he's saying.
	But the phone connection is very bad.
	Your phone connection sucks, brah.
	But I hope it's not us, though, because that's like the 10th in a row.
	Yeah, it's been kind of consistent.
	Shit.
	Alex.
	Gav Rye, what's up, you fucking hosers?
	It's not us.
	What's up, guy?
	Hello.
	Hey, Gav.
	So, you know, thanks for all you've done for South Africa, you know, talking about farm murders, dressing suspects.
	About five years back, my dad lost his neighbor, got shot right in front of his daughter.
	Boom.
	In South Africa?
	In South Africa?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	In about Northeast South Africa.
	Yeah.
	Jesus Christ.
	Cops didn't even come.
	They started calling the cops.
	So all the farmers fucking.
	You know, remember when in the 80s, apartheid was a big thing, a big problem, and all these artists got together and they did Ain't Gonna Play Sun City.
	And it was Bruce Springsteen and the Ramones.
	Separation of families is Ronald Reagan's plan.
	And Bono was in it.
	And right now, we've got something way worse going on.
	Where's the cool benefit song for the farmers?
	A decade's worth of farm killings is about all of America's history of lynchings.
	10 years they accomplished that.
	Wait, one more time?
	In about 10 years of farm lynching, they were able to blow all of America's history of our lynchings.
	And 10 years of farm killings.
	Yeah, okay.
	I can't understand you.
	Your connection sucks.
	I'm getting suspicious and thinking it's our fault.
	If this next one is, I'm stabbing Ryan Katsu Rivera in the fucking spine.
	We've never had worse quality calls, Ryan.
	Yeah, it's weird.
	Because remember we tested it and it sounded good?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey, how's it going?
	Yes.
	It's going well.
	Thanks.
	Just enjoy my Medelo.
	Maybe Ryan could look it up, but I just sent in to the mailbag a picture from my local Target.
	Books We Love.
	It's freaking insane.
	Oh, I think you sent this into the mailbag.
	I saw that.
	Yeah, I saw that.
	You know what's amazing about that?
	That's every bookstore in America right now.
	He already said he wanted to fuck us with the heels on.
	Are you still there?
	Oh.
	Nope, he's not.
	So Target books.
	I remember seeing this.
	I think he re-sent it.
	Locals Target.
	Yeah, here we go.
	Me and White Supremacy.
	The color of the law.
	Stamped from the...
	Mary Trump, if I had your vote, anti-racist baby.
	Isn't that the stupidest thing?
	By the way, the guy who wrote anti-racist baby, he's really prolific on Twitter, and he calls himself an author and stuff.
	And you're like, you wrote a baby book.
	You're not really a writer.
	And of course, get rid of me.
	How to be an anti-racist.
	Yep.
	Why are all black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?
	Because they want to.
	Yeah, that's, I go into, I went into, there was a bookstore near my house, and I go in there.
	It actually went bankrupt, luckily, thanks to COVID.
	And it was all like, the most predominant theme I would say would be a young female black astronaut.
	That seemed to be the thing.
	And I have a hunch that there's not a massive demand in the young female black community for black astronauts.
	I bet it doesn't come up a lot.
	I could be wrong.
	All right, so that call was shitty too.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm getting some...
	Is that our connection?
	You're waiting on the phone.
	Only people talking on the phone.
	Mute your side when people talk.
	Mute my side?
	What does that mean?
	Oh, no, no.
	I think that's talking to the people that are on the phone.
	Alright, if you're waiting on the phone, but only for the people talking on the phone, mute your side when people talk.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	So when we're talking, they have to mute it.
	That doesn't make sense.
	We did a test right before this.
	Hello.
	Yay!
	What's up?
	Is this a party?
	There are any parties about?
	Oh, this is the band Hollowed?
	No shit.
	Yeah.
	You want to Skype in?
	Is that retarded?
	What do you think of that?
	Well, I wouldn't know how we can make that happen.
	Yeah, let's not worry about that.
	So you guys did boom, boom, boom, boom.
	Fuck yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's a jam.
	Dude, we're in Queens.
	Got it.
	Can I come train with you?
	Yeah, sure.
	Awesome.
	I'll see you soon.
	Okay.
	Yeah, thank you so much for playing the song.
	It's so good that I got skeptical.
	I thought there must be a catch.
	Nah, nah.
	So how are you going to survive?
	How are you going to survive in the music business if you're not a total communist putz?
	Well, I've been rent music for a while and I've been an emo fan.
	And I went through music school and I actually went through being like blacklisted in college because college is just run by feminist clubs.
	And then I decided like, fuck it, I'm just going to make music that's true to my soul.
	And when I saw what happened with Kyle, I was jamming with my friend and I was like, boom, boom, boom, boom.
	It's amazing how many musicians have been canceled for thought crimes.
	And they're not, it's not, I'm not talking about KKK crimes.
	I'm talking about like, I don't know, I don't hate Trump.
	Whole band done.
	Label shut.
	Look at that.
	Burger Records.
	They lost their whole label because they called something Boogaloo by accident.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it was like all the bands that played on like the Million Dollar Extreme Show, all the ones that like denounced it, ended up sucking, but John Mouse is the only one who didn't and he's doing better than ever.
	So it's like fuck it, I won't cave into the mob.
	Like that's great news.
	Hell yeah.
	All right, well let's let's have you on the show in a real way.
	Are you still a big Met fan?
	Well, I'm pretty mad about the walk-off.
	Well, yeah, I'm boycotting this year because of what happened.
	It sucks because they had a great game tonight.
	It was like 15-5 or something against the Orioles.
	They got to rest up for a whole game.
	But with Tofra back and everything, we could be having fun.
	Yeah, it really is painful.
	All right, buddy.
	Let's get you on the show in a real way soon.
	Email Gavin at censored.tv.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Bye-bye.
	Peace.
	Awesome.
	That's cool.
	Great band.
	Rock and tear.
	Boom, boom, boom, boom.
	Cool, they're from Queens, too.
	That goes to your whole, like, I wonder where they're from thing.
	What you found out.
	I was walking through Hollis Queens.
	I was so fucking wasted or something.
	You know that band?
	No.
	No.
	You know Inge Maunstein.
	Hell yeah, I know English.
	I was walking through Forest Queens.
	968, calling from Melbourne, Australia.
	Hello.
	Goodbye, good hi.
	Hi.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah, I can hear you.
	Hello.
	Yeah, what gives you the rat?
	Totally different country.
	That's South African, Gavin.
	Same accent, as far as I'm concerned.
	There's an echo here, so it's going to sound really strange when I start talking because it's hard to get this out.
	There can't be an echo.
	I spoke to Ryan about this.
	He said the echo's been fixed.
	First person we heard about an echo.
	But go ahead.
	Okay, so okay, so I'm living.
	So I live in Melbourne.
	Sorry.
	Ryan, Google Pregnant Mother Lockdown.
	Ballarat.
	What was the last part?
	Pregnant mother lockdown.
	How was going on in Melbourne?
	Pregnant mother lockdown, what?
	Ballarat.
	B-A-L-L.
	Yeah, I just saw this.
	So the cops busted into the house because she was...
	What was she doing?
	She was violating lockdown?
	She wasn't.
	Apparently, she was organizing a peaceful protest within the rules of social distancing in Melbourne.
	The cops came into her house without the need of a warrant.
	Yeah, they had a weird piece of paper they were showing.
	So I have no idea why you guys are.
	Yeah, so that's what the police can do in Melbourne now.
	Unbelievable.
	Our Premier is an avowed socialist and these are the rules and the draconian type of things that are going on in Melbourne now.
	This is just ridiculous.
	But he's declared a state of emergency here and it's just given it.
	Sorry.
	Isn't your Prime Minister right-wing?
	He's not right-wing.
	He's of the right.
	But he, yeah, he just, I don't know, he doesn't have kind of control over what this Premier does over the state.
	It's probably very similar to what Trump does with letting these Democrat cities do what they do and not kind of interfering, not interfering as much in what goes on within the state.
	Right.
	So yeah, I mean, one thing our Prime Minister did do with Victoria was rip up all these contracts that Victoria had signed with the Chinese government to basically come in under that Belt and Road initiative.
	So he's done that, but in terms of what's going on in Victoria at the moment, it's a joke.
	It really is shocking.
	And might it have the reverse effect?
	Might it make the locals so angry that it ends up being good for the right?
	Yeah, it could actually, because if I'm taking a bit of a straw poll from people, I'm kind of, like I've got a lot of left-wing friends.
	They're not as into Devin McGinnis as I might be.
	But they're slowly kind of turning and seeing that these left-wing governments are not that good.
	But mind you, I also know a lot of people that are really for these lockdowns and it's just amazing.
	And for me, it's like looking at a separation between people that don't have any skin in the game, can go to work and just stay in their pajamas all day.
	They love it.
	They don't see any problem with what's going on.
	But at the moment, with all these lockdowns, the rules that they're putting out there, they're destroying our economy.
	People are on a knife's edge, because we're kind of locked down for the first time.
	It's making me sound really odd.
	We get one hour's worth of exercise every day.
	You can't see people.
	People don't get to see their family.
	A lot of people have lost their jobs.
	Look into it, Gavin.
	It's bizarre.
	ruth oh gavin rise rye guy hey hello hey it's uh last week i was uh I was absolutely, by the way,
	the echo is absolutely horrible.
	I can't even hardly talk to you guys.
	Not a prank, but I was appalled by the Jesse the Body Ventura caller last week.
	This is former Navy SHEAL, pro wrestler, governor of Minnesota, Jesse the Body Ventura.
	And I need a pillow and a meeting with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
	I can't stress enough how important it is that I get the pillow before the meeting.
	My pillow.
	I'm Mike Fellows with my pillow.
	Are you off the grid?
	Anyway, I'm living down in Mexico.
	I don't speak a word of Spanish, but I do know how to say gervecia, and that just gets me by.
	He called it on the.
	But anyway, we had a Back the Blue march last weekend in my city, and it was hilarious.
	The only, there was no organized resistance, but we did have an Antifa photographer there.
	He was trying very hard to blend in in his black block, but with like a vintage green military jacket with like a bunch of different patches on it.
	And he stuck out like a sore thumb.
	And it's just kind of funny, like they're like LARPing in costume, basically, when they're trying to do their covert missions and stuff.
	So that's just my report from being out and about amongst all this stuff.
	Isn't that funny how it was funny until our adversaries are just so incompetent?
	And now it's just more kind of infuriating their presence anywhere.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Weird ending.
	Rubik's Cube bonner.
	Yeah, they have such shitty fucking spies.
	And that's the most frustrating thing about this culture war is we're not up against anyone of any kind of qualifications.
	It's like, at least with the American Revolution, we were up against the most powerful force in the world.
	Wait, what's going on?
	There's a chance it is feeding into the microphone from the speakers, but hold on.
	How could it be?
	You fixed that problem.
	Yeah, by just maybe the speaker's too loud.
	So let's do this.
	Let me see, real quick.
	I'm going to play something from the speaker and see if it comes through.
	Callers on the line, I'm going to put you on hold for a second.
	Why are we doing tech work on the live show?
	All right.
	Well, we could save all complaints for after so we could figure things out, even though the test that we ran earlier went really well.
	You're really proud of that test.
	Yeah.
	That's really coming up a lot.
	Yeah.
	It's almost like nothing else matters.
	Because you were part of it.
	You heard it.
	I said, I want you to hear this.
	You could check it out for yourself.
	This sounds like.
	Yes, but Ryan, that was one test we did before the show.
	You've also been bragging about how you worked with some soundtech dude who had solved all of our problems.
	Yes.
	But you were wrong.
	So there's a new problem.
	Hello.
	So there's more tests to be done.
	No, it's the same fucking problem.
	It's not because we weren't able to.
	No, that's not true.
	We're able to come through the microphone now.
	Go ahead, caller.
	All right.
	So the Rubik's Cube video that you showed yesterday, the one that Ryan showed was cut off.
	But if you look at that original video, he could tell that record.
	He has a raging boner going through his website.
	Can't hear you.
	This is the shittiest live show we've ever had.
	It has nothing to do with people's reception.
	Almost 100% of the callers, you can't hear fucking shit coming in and out, complaining about echoes.
	So don't you think it's weird that the very show you said, I sold everything, Bosch, is the shittiest call-in show we've ever had?
	Yeah.
	I don't know what the fuck that guy was saying.
	He was calling from China, but he wasn't.
	He was probably calling from fucking Nebraska.
	The guy who did the Rubik's Cube had a boner.
	Is this your interpreting what he said?
	Nope.
	Why?
	Interpreting based on listening to a human voice and then running it.
	Yes, but you don't know if he meant that metaphorically, you fucking loser.
	Well, I mean, that's what he said.
	It's up to you to determine whether that's metaphorical or not.
	Well, they didn't show his crotch.
	We know he didn't have an erect.
	He didn't say it metaphorically.
	Actually, he did stand up, did he not?
	All right, let's go look at his fucking erection.
	By the way, when I was talking about that on the other day's show, I forgot to mention we were talking about crying, and I didn't finish my point.
	The main guy who's competing with Felix is this Asian dude who is severely autistic.
	And they interview the parents trying to deal with their autistic son, and you just can't not cry.
	All right, let's see if...
	He has an actual boner.
	Let's look for boners here.
	That just couldn't be...
	No.
	Do you think that's a boner?
	I mean, unless he's storing something under his pants.
	Those are sweatpants.
	Now, weird shit happens with sweatpants.
	Your balls could be really hard, and it pushes your dick up, and now it's one little cluster.
	Totally soft.
	Yeah, that's a boner.
	That's a boner?
	Whoa, he has a boner!
	Gross.
	I mean, some people really like the Rubik's Cubes.
	Let's be real here.
	Let's take another terrible call we can't hear.
	By the way, to the sound guy who called in to help Ryan, thanks, dude.
	You helped us make our worst show ever.
	Thanks for all your hard work.
	Victory.
	We have been casual.
	We've been cash.
	Is this Victor about the Rolling Stones?
	Go ahead, Victor.
	Hey, man.
	So I can still hear a little bit of the echo, but I just wanted to tell Gab that he is basically the Rolling Stones.
	When they forget their songs, he forgot his own story about the Sesame seeds, not about the Pakistani guy, the saying about the Muslims and the Sikhs.
	What part did I forget?
	You switched up the seeds.
	It was like, I think the original one is the sesame seeds in a batter of honey.
	And you said like some other shit, like sunflower.
	I've listened to you so fucking much that every time you say an old story, it's like you said, it's like the rolling stones.
	It's like the satisfaction.
	You play the new stuff, but you usually hear the hits.
	No, you're wrong.
	I did not get that story wrong.
	It was oil and it was sesame seeds.
	You think they had honey in the Punjab in the 1700s?
	All right, I got that fucked up.
	You're right.
	It was, but you did fuck up the sunflower.
	It was sesame, not sunflower.
	I didn't say sunflower seeds.
	I said sesame seeds.
	Hello?
	Yeah, I said sesame seeds.
	Last show?
	All right, check it out.
	But anyways, I wanted to tell you that parenting show that you did was fucking amazing.
	I have a nine-month-old and fucking almost made me cry manly tears because I was thinking of my kid.
	And yeah, that's it, man.
	Great job.
	Keep doing your thing, you guys.
	And is your kid sleeping through the night?
	Thank God, yes.
	He goes to sleep kind of late.
	He goes to sleep at like now, 10.30.
	And then he at like 8.30.
	Oh, that's great.
	Good stuff.
	Yeah, he gets a solid 12.
	Thank God.
	Nice.
	And you get to sleep too.
	All right, man.
	Thanks for calling.
	And, you know, we should go back over the tape.
	If I'm wrong and I said sunflower seeds, I'll pay that guy 50 bucks.
	50.
	All right, well, let me get his number so that way I know he'll find us.
	Yeah, but everybody's going to say that they're that guy.
	I know, but we'll have his number.
	The only way, yes, when I write it down right now, yeah.
	So we're going to watch the game tape.
	Watch the game tape.
	This is scary.
	But here's my number.
	Call me, maybe.
	So it's yesterday's episode.
	And where in the segment did you mention?
	Yeah, he's got a phone.
	No, that's his job.
	He's the one who's going to be a good player.
	Oh, okay, okay.
	So we're not reviewing the game tape right now.
	Yeah, if you're going to point out that I'm dumb and I fucked up, present the evidence.
	It's up to you to show us the time code and everything.
	By the way, somebody did say that they want to hear me talk, and you said you'd give $100 if anybody said that.
	So I haven't redeemed that because I don't feel cheap.
	I feel like that's a cheap thing for me to do.
	But I've gotten a couple, and I just feel nice about that.
	Yeah, that's probably why Ryan's mailbag was such a huge hit.
	I don't.
	It actually was.
	Wasn't it like beating some shows we won't mention when we looked at the ratings?
	Ryan's mailbag?
	Yes.
	You were in the group chat for that.
	You saw that.
	We were all surprised, as was I. I only had two episodes, and it did suck.
	I mean, I did.
	Not proud of those.
	Ben's on the line, by the way.
	Okay, what's up?
	People, fuck babies, Kevin.
	Seth Goldfarb.
	How you doing?
	That's the only accent that I have for Seth Goldfarb, unfortunately.
	He did pretty well for Pussy.
	That's the beauty of working at a photographer's studio.
	You end up with a disproportionate number of hot chicks, and eventually one of them is not going to care that you look like an anti-Semitic cartoon.
	I got a new girlfriend, and I'm trying to show her the show, and she's loving it so far.
	She's loving all the video drops.
	So well done, Ryan, on that one.
	Fucked up on the calls, but well done on the video drops for sure.
	Yep, calls are a nightmare.
	Thank you.
	And sorry.
	What can I do you for?
	Well, whatever.
	But yeah, I had kind of an idea.
	I know you don't like suggestions, but like a special episode just for reviewing the original videos of the video drops because I'm trying to explain all these video drops in context to her.
	And she loves the joke parts, the drop parts, but like, fuck, there would just be so much gold in going back through the Mikey video and the French guy video, the commercial, the fucking, just, I mean, the main show, maybe the greatest hits of video drops.
	I thought that would be cool.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	That'd be a good evergreen show for when we're away on vacation.
	Hell yeah.
	Because that, the, the, the, what, sketch is one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen in my life.
	All right.
	Thanks for your tip.
	That's not going in the suggestion bonfire.
	Oh, man.
	They had the graphic all up and everything.
	Bye.
	That's really good.
	Yeah, he's gone.
	Okay, we got David.
	Hello, Dave.
	Hey, um, yeah.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hey, Welcome aboard.
	What's going on?
	Oh, not much.
	How are you doing?
	I wasn't.
	You were talking about social distortion earlier.
	I went on, I was at the outhouse in Lawrence, Kansas.
	We followed them all the way to St. Louis to a place called 1227 Washington.
	It was on Washington Street in St. Louis.
	And these girls were crazy for him.
	The girl I was with, she was pregnant with my baby.
	She stormed into the room and she said, that's my name.
	She said, you better come out here or I'm going to kill you.
	Dean, take away this marland chain.
	She said, you better come in here.
	I'm going to kill you.
	Was she trying to fuck the social D guy?
	Oh, these other two girls were.
	Yes.
	Mike Ness.
	Oh, yeah.
	They were fucking on him.
	He played at the outhouse.
	You know the outhouse.
	No, I don't.
	Oh, Lawrence, Kansas.
	Yeah.
	Look it up.
	Skinheads, traditional skinheads, sharp skinheads, Nazi skinheads.
	It was all happening.
	So I don't understand the point of this call.
	You're saying that your wife annoys you when she does stupid shit like that?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Good to know.
	Fuck her.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	We got Wyatt on the line here.
	I think that guy was drunk, and he was impressed that...
	Hey, what's up, Gavin?
	What's up, Rob?
	He was impressed that what?
	A social D song relates to his story about Social D, but it's not interesting to anyone else.
	Oh, man.
	Go ahead.
	I'm sorry.
	What's up, dude?
	You there?
	Yep.
	Yes.
	Hello?
	We're here.
	Dude, don't do that.
	All right.
	Speak.
	So we always tend to talk about how black people always pretty much have the utmost privilege.
	So why don't we just designate a state for black people and then just call that state or actually just designate it a country?
	Yeah.
	Because that's ultimately what it's going to come down to.
	I think that's what blacks themselves are doing, right?
	They just.
	Well, I mean, somebody just bought 46 acres or something, but I mean, might as well have, you know, at least 8,500 acres, something like that.
	You know, have 10 square miles, 12 square miles.
	That seems like enough.
	Well, that's what's happening with America, silent apartheid.
	Blacks and whites seem to be saying, all right, I guess this didn't work out.
	Let's get a divorce.
	And it's...
	I mean, ultimately, that's what he says all the time.
	He is a history major.
	And he says that constantly.
	And it baffles me that we still are dealing with this bullshit today.
	But we can't somehow fix it by doing that.
	You got to put some WD-40 on that door, dude.
	Oh, yeah, I know.
	I'm sorry.
	It's a squeaky motherfucker right there.
	Yeah, it's a crazy time we're living in.
	I think this is the first time in my life I've ever seen more segregation and more separation between blacks and whites.
	Like when I was a kid in the 70s, it wasn't a thing.
	If you had a black couple at your parents' birthday party, no one would go, oh, who are they?
	They would more just go, like, she has frizzy hair.
	Well, we only went to school with like 10 black kids, honestly.
	And then the other half were like, you know, Latinos or Mexicans mostly.
	Yeah, now if you like, you have a black, you bring a black person to a thing, or a black person brings a white person to a thing, you've done some crazy, like it's a big statement, it's a big to-do.
	All right, thanks for calling, buddy.
	Look at my second work of art I did.
	I wrote Get Fired, Get in Trouble, Be Brave and Never Stop Fighting in one Strand of Spaghetti.
	Whoa.
	That's pretty dope.
	That seems tough.
	That seems like some sort of math problem.
	Well, I cheated a couple of times, but it is.
	That's still very impressive.
	So we're at two hours here.
	Am I going to be?
	Let's do one last call.
	All right.
	Broadway visit to Portland.
	No, no, that's the proud boy visit to Portland.
	This is Brian in Orlando.
	Glad to make it through, guys.
	Hey, buddy.
	Hello.
	Hey, so I had a couple things to say.
	One is I want to comment on the previous college call and say that's exactly what they want.
	They want people to fight each other.
	They want us to separate.
	I mean, you're talking about a situation where you create a different state for people.
	It's like India and Pakistan.
	And yeah, that's a great solution.
	Those guys get along fucking great now, right?
	Or Northern Ireland, right?
	That worked out great.
	It's not, it doesn't fucking work.
	You know, the solution isn't to separate people.
	The solution is to bring people together around the idea of America to get rid of the fucking Democrats and the fucking communists and get everybody focused on the same thing, pushing the same direction.
	That's the solution.
	That's my opinion.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	So Trump's going to win.
	Is America going to be more unified in, say, a year after the election?
	Are they going to Stop this, or is it just going to be endless fucking riots?
	Well, I think it's going to be more riots until we can get these people out of positions of power.
	I mean, we had McCarthyism in the 50s, and people were like, that was a bad thing.
	I think we're learning that, you know, that was probably a good thing.
	You know, you have to understand that history is being taught in these universities, and it's through that socialist lens.
	And I think people are kind of waking up to the fact that there's a lot of information that's been kind of cast in a bad light.
	We've been lied to.
	I recently read a book by David Horowitz, Radical Son.
	I don't know if you read it, but he wrote that book in like the 80s, and he was a big lefty.
	His parents are communist.
	He published some lefty articles.
	He was friends with the Black Panthers.
	He got woken up when people that he knew were killed by the Black Panthers, and he saw that they really were a criminal organization.
	So it's great reading because I was interested in that.
	But you can see in his book, a lot of the institutions that they used then, they're using now.
	A lot of the tactics that they use then, they're using now.
	We can identify, know what they're doing.
	We just have to have the balls to stand up and get rid of them.
	Yeah.
	We should be brave and never stop fighting.
	What's the name of that book again?
	Radical Sun by David Horowitz.
	Okay.
	All right, man.
	Yeah.
	Good advice.
	We got to keep fighting.
	Thanks for calling.
	And that ends our show for today.
	We had two great pieces of art to put on the auction.
	This is going to become a t-shirt, a Rolling Stones t-shirt.
	Is that legal?
	Like, are we going to get sued?
	We'll see.
	What?
	Look, Ryan, remember we were having trouble with that.
	Yeah, the white.
	I just do all this white.
	Yeah.
	And everything goes dark.
	Yeah, that is.
	Look at the army helmet, right?
	So you can't, it's blackness.
	And then I put that away.
	And now the whites are...
	Wow, that is drastic.
	All right, I'll look into the camera thing, but last I checked, I mean, it's on manual right now, and I have a specific color LUT.
	So it's not even like it's on auto there.
	Weird and weird.
	Yeah.
	You'll notice with everything Ryan does, when he fucks up or has a problem, he's like, but no, I have ideas.
	I did it.
	Yeah, I did it.
	He's like, no, I fixed it.
	So I have it on manual.
	So it's not my fault.
	I didn't say that.
	I said that's something that comes to mind.
	Imagine if I was like this.
	I don't know.
	I've never said, I don't know.
	I think the proper response is, I'll work on it.
	Did I put it on manual?
	I guess manual doesn't work.
	I guess I got to figure out a way to sort of override when you put it on.
	That's just a different way to say the same thing I did.
	No, but your tone is like, put on manual.
	So I did my job.
	So it's an I don't like your tone, Mr. thing.
	All right, no, change it.
	No, no, it's the different, there's two different attitudes.
	One is, oh shit, manual doesn't work.
	The other is, well, I did everything I had to do.
	Just like with the shitty audio, you're like, well, we tested it.
	You were there.
	We tested it.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's just because we're sitting at this point where there is a fuck up.
	Instead of, I know what you're talking about, the attitude of saying, I'm going to fix it.
	So it's like, oh, dude, I got to work on it.
	So that way the future won't be fucked up.
	But I did my due diligence for this moment to not be fucked up.
	But here it is fucked up.
	So I'm just saying, it's not like I'm just sitting here like, oh, I didn't do anything.
	All right.
	Now I'll fix it in the future.
	I still tried to fix it before this moment.
	Right, and it didn't work.
	I know.
	It was the worst call-in show we've ever had.
	But I fixed, you notice the stutter thing?
	I fixed that.
	That I fixed.
	The stutter?
	Yeah, I did.
	We had everyone complaining about an echo.
	Yeah, the echo, the echo thing.
	Okay, but remember when you couldn't hear them and it was like and we couldn't hear them?
	Yeah?
	That was fixed.
	What, for the last three calls?
	No, for, I mean, we only had...
	Yeah, sure.
	And what was that?
	That was turning down that speaker and then turning down the input in which we send it to them.
	And then also, and then to get rid of their echo, I've been clicking them on mute.
	You want to see if we...
	You don't have a gain on, do you?
	No.
	I don't like gains.
	Oh, I see.
	On your mic, I have to.
	Why?
	Because otherwise it sounds very flat, and then there's nothing to...
	Yeah.
	You could hear what it sounds like.
	All right, let's talk about this another time.
	Sorry, folks.
	We're boring you with technical semantics.
	Tomorrow is all riots all the time, but we'll keep it fun.
	We won't overdo it.
	And in the meantime, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.

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