Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E186 - FIGHT NIGHT [2020-07-13 - S02E186 - FIGHT NIGHT]

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July 13, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:47:04

S02E186 - FIGHT NIGHT [2020-07-13 - S02E186 - FIGHT NIGHT]

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn I'm from free on a Saturday morning from the pedal to the floor, heading north on Mills Avenue, listen to the engine roar.
	I'm going to go.
	That's the Mountain Goats.
	Very NPR lefty band that I'm sure would hate my guts and Trump's guts, but they make some good tunes.
	Very ugly band, which is kind of cool.
	You don't really see ugly people in pop music since MTV, actually.
	Back when I was a boy, you could be ugly and be a rocker like Elton John or a Steve Miller band.
	No one knows what Steve Miller looks like.
	His album was just a horse with lightning bolts on it and stuff.
	And you went, I don't care what he looks like.
	I'm not a fag.
	But now you have to be gorgeous.
	And this guy is not.
	His eyes are about a centimeter apart.
	Imagine hearing him talk about Trump.
	We should kill him.
	Just skin him alive.
	I would do it myself.
	I can't hear it.
	We're going to make it through this year of the children.
	We're going to make it through this year of the children.
	That did not change anything at all.
	I played video games in a drunken haze.
	I was 17 years young.
	You know what they remind me of?
	Is the hold steady.
	You know them?
	You don't have any taste in music.
	You like the worst shit imaginable.
	Sorry, they're not Creed.
	I do like Creed.
	You do?
	Yeah.
	I can't even make jokes with this guy.
	They got good songs.
	I can't exaggerate.
	Oh, Creed's that good.
	That's good.
	Ooh, Creed.
	Touche.
	That was a great point.
	That's so hack.
	Yeah.
	To think that Creed is bad.
	I know.
	I made a very easy joke because I thought we'd get away with it.
	Nickelback.
	Yeah, you probably like Nickelback.
	Yes, they have good songs.
	I don't care what the world says.
	I like them.
	This is called a good band, right?
	I like this stuff too.
	I just like more stuff than you.
	See Ugly Rock.
	It's one of my favorite kinds of music.
	Was ACDC ugly run?
	Is that Ezra Levant?
	We're playing at the Mercury Lounge next Friday.
	Look, even the guy on the keyboard is ugly and bald.
	Very Oosker-Doo-ish.
	Are they American?
	Now hold steady or American.
	You should only listen to KEXP and just sort of flush your body of all this crap that's in there.
	I can't.
	Like, Tool suck.
	I don't listen to Tool.
	Well, that wouldn't be a surprise.
	I'm open to it.
	You like Steve...
	Steve Winwood.
	Stevie Ray Vaughn.
	Yeah.
	Well, no, really only one song, Crossfire, because it's got that cool ass riff.
	Imagine, folks at home, imagine you liked Stevie Ray Vaughn.
	Are you kidding me?
	As a guitar player.
	As his hat and his scarves.
	Like, imagine having a Stevie Ray Vaughn shirt.
	Two minutes ago, you just said, I don't care what he looks like.
	What am I gay?
	And now it's about his hat and his scarves.
	Yeah, because that sums up.
	I'm not talking about his bone structure.
	I'm talking about his vibe, which is super lame Jimi Hendrix wannabe.
	No, no, no, no.
	He sounds different for sure.
	No, his look is like total Jimmy.
	Can't stand the weather.
	Doonoon dance.
	Oh, he loves that Louisiana bayou jazz blues.
	Oh, yeah.
	Give him them blues.
	That tone.
	You know, don't play that on my show.
	I don't want that in my canon.
	Looks like JB.
	Five years ago, Sandra Bland was murdered.
	Black on black crime.
	She was murdered by a woman named Sandra Bland who put a rope around her neck or something and hanged her in her cell.
	And it's weird how BLM gets to use these terrible cases.
	Like with this Trayvon and all these egregious cases where it was self-defense or suicide or death by cop, where you go to reach for a cop's gun, I mean, you're asking to be shot.
	But people go, well, why is Sandra Bland on your little video montage of victims?
	And they go, well, some suspect foul play.
	What?
	You mean that's the crime of the century, by the way, if cops are hanging blacks in their cells.
	Like, that's international news with justified riots on the streets.
	So a cop went into her cell as she's screaming hysterically, there's no video footage of this, no witnesses, ties something around her neck and then hangs her in her cell as she's flailing in her cell.
	Eventually she chokes herself, chokes out.
	Really?
	Do you really believe that?
	Because that's a crazy world you live in.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	That's a great debut.
	That's a great launch up.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	The camera work is like Spiel's Bergie.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	My kids love the office.
	Hate the UK office.
	Hate its guts.
	It's less colorful, I've noticed.
	I saw the movie Eurovision on Netflix last night.
	I think it's supposed to make fun of how corny European white people are.
	And I don't know.
	I watched it and I went, wow, it seems great.
	Especially now in New York City.
	Like, no one's on fire.
	No one got shot in the face.
	There's no all cops are bastard written everywhere.
	It seems beautiful.
	Yes, Icelandic people are not the coolest people in the world.
	Sure, Europeans can be a teensy bit corny at times.
	Oh, you naughty boy.
	That's it all.
	You look like a fleshy disco ball.
	Like Kevin Swain.
	Kevin Swain Visionary, the best.
	Or the Jean-John Swede and Killer Dance Move.
	We like champagne.
	More top glasses.
	Okay, you get the idea.
	Anyway, it's a pretty funny movie.
	It's pretty good.
	It's good.
	But the problem with Netflix now is you go, okay, what's the agenda here?
	What are you trying to say?
	There's always an agenda.
	And I've noticed it really in the past six months.
	It's gotten a fuck ton worse.
	Milo says that his life has vastly improved since he canceled Netflix.
	Speaking of Milo, so he doesn't do Friday Night's All Right.
	And then he decides, I know what I'll do.
	I'll interview Laura Loomer about being deplatformed.
	You mean like I did?
	That was the first episode of Loomered, was me interviewing her.
	And then I look at it and I go, this is blurry.
	Which is, you've got a cold or allergies.
	Quality.
	What kind of allergies do you get in Florida?
	I've never heard of somebody get allergies in Florida.
	What's the same?
	I would take allergies in Florida, Milo.
	It's humid.
	But I think I just have allergies.
	Maybe it's the tropical winds have blown something.
	We took a sandstorm here about a week ago.
	So he just repeated a show we already have, but made it blurry and filmed it with a Russian camera.
	How the Grinch stole your idea.
	It looks like it was filmed in 1958.
	It looks like groundbreaking color film.
	Out today.
	Color footage is available.
	It's the first color interview that's ever been done.
	It's a colorized black and white Loomer interview.
	It looked terrible.
	It was good, though.
	It would have been, honestly, it would have been better with an iPhone.
	I'm not exaggerating.
	Let me see that again.
	Okay.
	Did you close it?
	I did.
	It looks like isht.
	Ooh, language.
	Sharia supporting, and the Democrat Party is this, that, and the other.
	You can't very well.
	The green screen cropping is all weird.
	It's a little harsh.
	What did he film it with?
	That I don't know, but I'm going to talk to him today before he interviews Roger Stone.
	What a catastrophe.
	But I offered him Vince Parko.
	Pate Chadwick, are you there?
	Yes.
	Hey, remember when I said I have a great guest for you for Friday Nights All Right?
	Yeah.
	And it was Vince Parko, the private eye.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	And you said, no, Milos only wants intellectual guests.
	And I said, yes, he's fucking smart.
	I don't know.
	Okay, well, I did free speech, a sit-down, and in the bar, but instead of a liberal versus a conservative, fucked that, I'm done with liberals.
	They've lost the plot.
	And now it's just me sitting with this guy.
	It'll probably be out Thursday.
	Oh, that's cute.
	And it's a masterpiece.
	And when you watch that, compare the Laura Loomer repeat in Blurry with my Vince Parko.
	Oh, there's a little sneak peek.
	I don't want to hit the audio because it's not the correct audio.
	Okay.
	We don't want to give a bad sense.
	That's what it looks like.
	Wait, my head's cropped the whole video?
	That's his angle.
	It's a dirty shot on him, basically.
	No, but when you do dirty, you just do the shoulder.
	You don't crop the top of a fucking guy's head.
	Well, that's where you're standing at that time.
	You're totally uncropped there.
	Why is everything always a fuck-up?
	It looks stupid to have a crop of a head like that.
	Let me check another shot.
	I think that's when you were just leaning a certain way.
	Dude, that looks like shit.
	Look at that.
	You know what you could do, though?
	You can zoom in.
	Oh, I see.
	I mean, it's terrible to crop someone like this, but if they're also cropped like that, it's not so bad.
	Anyway, that's irritating.
	Fuck.
	His shout's really good.
	We have some hot gossip.
	So when I grew up in my New York City party days, we had a friend named Jay Lightfoot.
	I think he's Indian.
	There was Jay Lightfoot and Jay Pearson.
	So we called them JP and JL.
	Eventually, we started calling JL Jail.
	And so he's a drinking buddy from my New York City days, Jail.
	And I had him come visit on Friday.
	And I thought, let's start fucking day drinking.
	So we did a bit of bar hopping.
	And he kept saying, let's get a bourbon.
	He likes Jim Beam.
	And I go, it's kind of early, Jail.
	It's like three o'clock.
	And he goes, I go, personally, me, Gavin, if I start pounding back full makers that early in the day, I'm asleep by nine.
	And I want to go for the long haul.
	So I might do a shot of what's the thing I convinced you was my wife's neck tattoo?
	Fireball.
	Fireball.
	Remember that, folks?
	I convinced Ryan that my wife got a fireball neck tattoo and he believed it for, I believe, four days.
	Yeah.
	I was stressed out for you.
	I was like, well, I mean...
	He's like, why would she do that?
	She wouldn't, moron.
	Anyway, we went to pick up Ryan.
	Oh, by the way, this is when things started to get a little weird.
	I was driving him back to his truck where I saw he had a gun in this sort of dip where the stick shift is.
	It was leather.
	There's a handgun there.
	I go, dude, that is so fucking illegal in the burbs.
	In New York City, we're dead.
	Five years like that.
	But even in the burbs, it's a problem.
	He goes, oh, okay.
	Puts it under his seat, which I'm fine with.
	I don't know if I've spoken to you about this, but why the fuck was it back in his pocket?
	Why did you not just leave it in the fucking truck?
	We're not going to Detroit, we're not going to any gang areas.
	Well, he said something that kind of made me feel like a pussy because he was like, Sounds like I'm talking to two non-gun owners.
	I was like, You know what?
	He's right.
	Kind of cool to have a guy with a gun.
	Not when he's wasted in my home.
	You don't need it on your person.
	And you'll find out why soon enough.
	And by the way, so the long story short, things went real, real bad.
	Real bad.
	Right now, you can't see it, but I have a butthole in my head.
	It was a vagina on Friday night, but now it's a butthole.
	What are you doing?
	But one thing that I think started when things did start to go awry, I was driving him back to his truck right before we picked you up.
	And as we were slowing to the truck, I went and slammed on the brakes and he went flying into the dash.
	And that's funny high school dumb joke all men do.
	And he goes, don't try to alpha me, Gavin, because you'll lose.
	And then he gives me a playful slap on the face.
	I'm not a pussy, so I slapped him back.
	And then we had a jokey slappy fight thing.
	But I wasn't going to give him an inch.
	I'm not the beta in this situation.
	So that was one.
	I should have sort of started going when that happened.
	But anyway, we went to a bunch of different bars, had a great time.
	Then pick up Ryan.
	My wife makes tacos.
	Oh, he's regaling the family with hilarious stories.
	My kids think he's hilarious.
	My son's having a great time.
	Then we go downstairs and we are karaoke.
	Doing, what do you got there?
	Probably limelight.
	Let's hear a bit of it.
	This shows you the tone of the night.
	Fun, fun, fun.
	Let's see.
	Let's see.
	laughing.
	All right.
	All right.
	So then we're upstairs.
	The wife is, I don't know what she's doing.
	She's not with us.
	Kids are asleep.
	It is, I can tell you the exact time from my security cameras.
	It's 11.20.
	And we're sitting around and he starts turning.
	There's certain kinds of drunks where they start turning a certain way and it cannot be undone.
	Now, three for three of my last NYC party dudes who came to visit me in the burbs, it went south.
	And I have a theory about this.
	They're not jealous of my big house.
	Guys are not like that.
	Guys don't want a big house.
	And you'll notice this when guys get divorced, they get a small apartment.
	In fact, when I was staying at the Marriott in Florida, half the hotel was residential.
	And guys, I assume all rich divorced dudes, would live in a hotel.
	And I guess the maid comes and does your bed.
	They just want a bed and a little office thing.
	Maybe a living room.
	Maybe.
	That's a guy's idea.
	So they're not jealous of my house.
	But what I think is happening is I have three kids.
	I've moved on to the next chapter, which is what my book is about, really, is the death of cool, turning off the cool.
	The three guys I'm talking about never stopped the cool.
	They kept partying and didn't find a wife and didn't settle down.
	And I think when they see me with my new phase and my kids, they go, they start self-hating.
	So it's not really jealousy.
	It's more of a, what the fuck have I done with my life?
	Why don't I have kids?
	This is my theory because it's been three for three.
	And I'll tell you what, the next time a buddy from my old party days calls and says, hey, I was going to come up and visit, I'm going to say no.
	Unless you have kids, no.
	I remember my buddy Tommy McCormack said this to me a long time ago.
	He goes, I can't hang out with people who don't have kids.
	It's like, get your shit together.
	And I thought that was crazy back then, but I'm realizing now he's right.
	Anyway.
	So Jail goes, he's sitting back like this and he goes, do you guys want a slap box?
	Oh yeah, I remember that.
	That's not good.
	I was like, not particularly.
	If you want a slap box, you want to fight.
	And if you want to fight, you're going to fight.
	So that was...
	That was around five o'clock.
	Then 11.20, the slap box.
	Then 11.22, you said, are you still living in that hovel?
	Something like that.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Hovel's an insulting way to describe someone's home.
	It was a joke.
	Especially when we're in a big home.
	I've never actually seen like this place.
	That was a joke.
	Next problem was, when did you last get laid?
	And I believe you had it by a chick.
	It was a gay joke.
	That was, yeah, it's a joke.
	I was gay joking all night.
	Guys, it's a joke.
	It's a fucking joke.
	It's a fucking joke.
	I got this.
	I'm going to have to live without that for now.
	Yeah.
	And guess what was the final straw?
	Why don't we, you want to go with a visual reveal?
	You look like John Goodman in Cloverfield Lane.
	That set him off.
	And then he started getting violent, going, what the fuck is your problem?
	I'm going to just tell everyone and then we can show the footage.
	We said he looked like that.
	That fucking pissed him off because he has put on a bit of weight.
	He's put on a bit of plaid.
	That's all I'm saying.
	So I can hear myself on the tape going, dude, it's a high school joke.
	We're calling you gay.
	It's called busting balls.
	A very, very common joke to accuse your friend of being a homosexual.
	It's in the joke dictionary.
	When my dad would go on his hunting trips, the guys would come down to the main lodge where they were serving breakfast and they would all pretend their asses hurt from butt fucking all night.
	It's as old as time.
	So there's no need to get offended.
	I would never sit there and seriously call you a gay in a negative way.
	And then he starts, then fists start flying.
	He hits Ryan three times and then Ryan crumples him like a piece of paper.
	But what was crazy about the whole night, we're trying to, I'm just saying, get out of my house after he hit Ryan.
	And he keeps being, every time we hold him down, he's this little koala bear going, hey, what are you guys?
	What are you doing?
	What's going on?
	I just want to be friends.
	And then went, make sure you crop the left side of that up, and then as soon as we let him go, grizzly bear, and then we hold him down.
	Hey, what's going on?
	That went all night.
	And I took his gun away.
	Then we go outside and he throws me down to the ground.
	Well, let's just show the first clip, shall we?
	So there was two fights, one inside the house, one in the driveway.
	And I'm trying to keep it down.
	If this happened in a bar, we'd still be pals.
	Right.
	I don't have a problem.
	The bouncer would have taken him outside.
	He wouldn't have got his gun back, and it would have been fine.
	But you started a fight in my fucking house, dude.
	Don't kick you in my favorite.
	I'll keep you out for a fucking week.
	That's my favorite part of the entire night.
	After he punches you and shoves you on the ground, you go, I'll put you out for a fucking week.
	I couldn't stop doing that.
	Because he'd been doing a Canadian accent all day because he's watching the fucking Fargo show.
	So that was funny.
	And then, like, just like in, I don't know, he just like.
	It just shows great adrenaline control that you can riff in a fight.
	I think I was being dead serious, but just Canadian serious.
	You know what's funny too?
	Is that he just whaps me right after that?
	I'll put you out for a week.
	Bap.
	I'll put you out for a fucking week.
	One.
	Strike one.
	Keep going.
	Wait, zoom out a bit.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Let me see if I can maneuver this here.
	Yeah.
	I was showing my daughter this footage, and her face is in the reflection of the video, so I don't want her to be identifiable.
	Trudette.
	I'm Trudette.
	Because I'm a right-wing talk show host.
	Chris Hayes, all these other guys, they can show any family pics they want because they're not in danger.
	But when you go up against the alt-left, you're constantly in danger, so you have to make sure your children are protected.
	How fucked up is that?
	Okay, so this is the closest to a full screen we could do, so I'll rewind.
	I'll see you for a fucking week.
	One punch.
	That seemed to make you a little dizzy, eh?
	Yeah, yeah, my head still hurts from that.
	Strike the line.
	Do a little kickeroo.
	Are you kidding him?
	Strike two?
	Strike two.
	Yeah.
	Three strikes grab.
	You did fucking grab me.
	And three lights out.
	Yeah, that was interesting.
	That was great.
	I swear I only thought that was going to piss him off, but I was like, well, I got to do something.
	I was like, it's just going to piss him off, and he's going to beat me up.
	And now I said he's got a gun, and you were saying, please don't shoot me, Jail.
	And you also said, I'm a small Asian man.
	Why would I try to fight you?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's after you remove the...
	I go and hide it.
	I'm a small Asian man.
	There we go.
	I'm a small Asian man.
	Just fucking stop it.
	I'm still under the impression that I can just separate you two and he'll quietly leave and leave his stuff there.
	By the way, it was really annoying the next morning, too.
	He says, hey, lunch is on me.
	And I go, no, thank you.
	And then he wants his charger back, his sweatshirt, obviously his gun, which had hollow points, by the by.
	Oh, my.
	Those will split you right open.
	That'll put me out for a week.
	I still, I had to throw out the hollow points.
	But.
	Yeah, so he got all his shit back, right?
	God forbid you should lose your charger.
	And we eventually had to call the cops because he would not fucking give up on his gun.
	I need my gun.
	What is it worth?
	200 bucks?
	That's really fast forward.
	And yeah, because that was like after the half-hour outside ordeal.
	And I'm like, dude, I lost my favorite shirt and my favorite pants to your bullshit.
	That's like $180, right?
	He brought the shirt.
	No, no, that's, that's, we'll show that in a second.
	I think we're trying to...
	I should have broken his arm there.
	Look, look at that.
	See that?
	So he's a koala bear, cutie pie.
	Hey, what's going on?
	And then the second he's free, whoosh, and then he comes at me.
	Luckily, he missed me on that one.
	Then he comes at you.
	Yep.
	Thank you to Champs Boxing Jim for teaching me how to duck.
	I ducked that one.
	That's pretty cool.
	it's kind of like a stone cold stunner.
	Cause you throw the kick and then you bring, It's just us on top of him.
	Eventually, I pick him up under the arm, like, you know, like, you get the get in the car, you infant, kind of thing, right?
	It's kind of like a stunner.
	Stone Cold says what?
	We're pretty wasted, too, at this point.
	Well, obviously.
	So anyway, the outdoor footage is kind of hard to see.
	But so we go outside and I just go, get the fuck out of my house.
	Then he grabs me and hurls me into my neighbor's paving stones where I believe I was knocked unconscious.
	I believe you were.
	So that was my favorite part, but your favorite part is I'll put you out for a week.
	My favorite part is when you're lying.
	Show yourself.
	You're lying prone on the ground.
	I'm flat.
	Like, remember that whole take us down meme where you lay it flat on your face?
	You're literally like this.
	You're like, all right, that's it.
	You knock me down like this with my arms on my side, face down.
	I can feel, I wake up.
	I think I was unconscious for maybe four seconds.
	I feel blood pouring down my face.
	I go, all right, that's it.
	Now I've fucking lost my shit.
	Finally, it's hard to fight when you don't care.
	Like, what am I fighting for at the beginning there to defend gay jokes?
	Right.
	Like, I almost want someone to slap my mom just so I can must.
	So I finally had bona fide rage, like, out of the fucking.
	So I pick him up, I throw him down on the ground, and I'm just wailing on his face and doing that clap back thing, you know, where it's like, you need to start listening to me.
	Yeah, every, everyone.
	But instead of claps, it was blows to the head, and I'm going, I told you to calm the fuck down.
	And as I'm pounding him, you are saying, stop, stop.
	Because I was doing it too much.
	And then you know what I did?
	I went, oh, well, I can't punch him.
	I'll just murder him.
	So then I was strangling him like, like not holding someone's neck or like the choke where you're trying to, like, you're saying, Get it on my face.
	You can see the cuts on my hands, by the way.
	But like, murder choke, like, ah!
	I guess that worked because I didn't see it.
	The ref did not acknowledge that as violence.
	The punching, I said, that's too much indecence.
	The choke.
	Too much indecence.
	Yes.
	I don't like the butt cheek.
	Outside, I did, I mean, because he started getting his energy back outside, so I had to do like a like a kick his center of mass so that way he could fall.
	We had to knock him down four times because every time he got back up, like you said, monster, like big guy.
	Yeah.
	Very big man.
	He'll put me out for a week.
	And eventually, what?
	We decided.
	Eventually, the cops came.
	We have to come.
	And we say, put him in the drunk tank.
	And they go, well, we'd have to arrest you all.
	Or it's mutual combat.
	I said, I got two friends in prison right now for mutual combat doing four years.
	Now mutual combat is a thing?
	Where were you fucking two years ago?
	And, oh, they should be getting out relatively soon, right?
	Like a year and a half.
	And then they go, well, we'll just take him to the train station.
	And he says he has no money for an Uber and he has no motel and nowhere to go.
	All right, fine.
	Just get him out of here.
	So they take him to the train station.
	And then he texts me the next morning saying, breakfast on me.
	I said, no, thank you.
	And then I texted him that night.
	I have to give him all his shit in a bag.
	I put his gun and his sweatshirt and his charger.
	gets all this shit back.
	Now we can show some pics.
	Oh, show the shirt.
	My actual shirt?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hold up your actual shirt.
	Maybe the picture first, because now it's all poop.
	It looks like poo-poo.
	It looks like a comic book shirt.
	It looks fake.
	It looks like you got it at our urban outfitters.
	Remember when I went to help you for Halloween?
	When we handed out with Scared Kids for Halloween?
	That's exactly what that looks like.
	Look at those pants.
	Those are my favorite fucking pants.
	They're kind of, they're J. Crew stretchy khakis.
	Unbelievably comfortable and really cool.
	Look how thin they are.
	So you could wear them on the hottest day and not be hot.
	They're in the garbage now.
	What am I going to do?
	Patch the knee?
	On khakis?
	Fucker.
	That pisses me off the most.
	Well, another thing that pisses me off.
	The next morning, I'm mopping up the blood.
	We don't have pictures of this, but there was, I swear to God, take a beer bottle, fill it up to here, that much blood on the ground.
	So I'm mopping the blood.
	And my little baby, my seven-year-old, comes out and he goes, what are you doing, Dad?
	And I said, oh, our friend came over and he punched Ryan so we beat him up.
	And he goes, oh, okay.
	That's the child version of it.
	I still have a hole in my head.
	There's some of the blood.
	There's some more.
	If you zoom in, it really does pool up like it.
	When it's got boot marks in it and everything.
	When I had him in the headlock there.
	That little throw there, that fake animal skin, that cost like $150.
	That's ruined.
	I realized that this wasn't just some normal little tussle.
	After I saw the blood, I'm like, oh, shit.
	That's when things are like, wow, this went real.
	The majority of that was his nose after you knocked him down.
	Because my blood, and there's blood all over the driveway, too.
	My blood is from when he knocked me out.
	I should make that my profile picture.
	That's badass.
	But my lip is still all cracked open.
	My head really hurts.
	Yeah, mine too.
	It does?
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I thought it was the only one.
	What is that?
	It's nothing.
	I think that's all the pictures.
	All right.
	That's me rocking some.
	But it was a fun story to tell.
	Oh, no, you got more pics.
	All weekend.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Things like that don't really happen.
	Yeah, so when we were shooting the Vince Parko free speech, where you cropped the top of my head.
	I didn't.
	I had the other cam, to be fair.
	I don't want to put out the blame.
	I'm not just trying to escape blame, but I did not have control.
	Escape blame?
	Escape.
	How do you spell that?
	Well, I'll axe Google.
	All right, so that was a very exciting night.
	And there's no hard feelings here.
	I mean, I was going to.
	There's hard feelings here.
	Oh, yeah.
	Why did you have your gun in my house?
	Like, why was it on your person?
	Just keep it in the truck when you're getting wasted.
	And secondly, never, ever.
	There's three rules with men.
	You don't fuck with my job, my marriage slash family, and my house.
	You did two and three.
	Don't put a butthole on my head, too.
	I don't really mind the head butthole.
	That was just fighting.
	But like my son, my youngest son said he had a dream last night where he asked the guy why they threw his dad.
	Oh, crap.
	Yeah.
	Oh, he woke up my kids.
	Like my middle son was out there with the flashlight saying, he has a gun?
	Oh, shit.
	Like, that's the ex.
	You know what was really funny, though, when he popped his head out the window.
	He was like, what's going on?
	And I was like, hey, man.
	And you're like, just go to bed.
	We're all like just covered.
	It looks like a joke.
	There's so much blood.
	Yeah.
	His face is bloody.
	The beard is bloody.
	Your head is bloody.
	The shirts are ripped.
	The pants are torn.
	There's blood on the shirt.
	And we're just standing there like, yeah, oh, hey.
	Well, outside of that, when I woke up and went, that's it.
	Yeah.
	And started pounding him.
	I wasn't mad after that or before that.
	Oh, I see.
	I see.
	You know what I mean?
	So we were pretty calm, even when the cops were there.
	Yeah, you know what you said in the middle of the tussle?
	You're like, you're never coming to my house again.
	Every time I bring my friends here, it sounds like a 14-year-old dude's upset.
	That's true, man.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Three for three have gone awry.
	The drunk hasn't gone awry.
	I really don't get the violent thing.
	I don't get like that.
	When I'm drunk, I get sleepy.
	You literally never do.
	And funny.
	Yeah, you're not a bad drunk at all.
	There's been some pretty dicey situations, too, where I like wake you up out of your sleep, like, hey, we got an emergency.
	And you're like, all right.
	Oh, yeah, when that guy was doing the thing and we had to go get him for the stuff.
	Your Canadian comes out, you're like, I just got in my car, and I went and took care of him.
	I guess we got to help.
	All right, let's start the show.
	Oh, yes.
	1-1.
	Roger Stone is commuted.
	Free Roger Stone.
	And the beauty of a commutation is you can still fight for your right to party.
	A pardon is, here he is finding out.
	This is a tear jerker, by the way.
	It's amazing.
	He's 67 years old.
	There's his stepdaughter and his wife.
	He's looking at a death sentence.
	But guess who just called?
	God Emperor Trump.
	You could kill me.
	Get rid of me.
	So I'm pretty hot.
	He's a 67-year-old.
	Trump's such a fucking blabber mouth.
	So I want you to know you did nothing wrong.
	I saw the shirt.
	We're going to commute.
	This is a big, big deal.
	Ring spun cotton.
	Great church.
	I don't usually call people, but I'm calling you.
	Scream people.
	You're there from the beginning.
	Direct to Garments.
	So you're commuted.
	Weird pants.
	All right.
	Well, God bless you, Mr. President.
	Please give my regards to the First Lady.
	Many, many thanks.
	Yep, thank you.
	You got it, Rob.
	Oh, that's it.
	You did it.
	Why didn't he hug his wife immediately?
	That was a bad look.
	So that's great news.
	And now he can fight for his name.
	And the beauty of fighting for your name and being acquitted is you can sue.
	And the way he was treated, I love the way the left is all pissed off about that.
	There's no justice.
	I can't believe that criminal.
	And I always say to these people, what was his crime again?
	Oh, he obstructed justice.
	Really?
	How?
	He lied to the FBI.
	Okay, what was the lie?
	And they never know.
	The lie was he said he didn't get an email from Julian Assange, and he did.
	Throw him in jail.
	He forgot about an email.
	And this whole investigation was about the Russian collusion, which was proved to be false.
	So who cares?
	He obstructed fake justice during a witch hunt.
	He didn't help them get the wood to burn the witch at the stake.
	This is the worst part, too, of having a butthole in your head is every time you go like that with your hair.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And you know me with the hair touching.
	I can't cloth my side of this hair.
	It's terrible.
	So yeah, you don't get your charger and your sweatshirt back.
	You're still on that.
	Why does he get all his shit back?
	And, you know, I was fucking hammered and I was, I'm embarrassed to say about this close, not this close, but this close to saying, by the way, guys, he's got a gun.
	So maybe we should just arrest him.
	That would have been five years.
	Now, I would never, in almost any circumstance, unless you slap my kid or something, I would never rat someone out for having a gun.
	But when I'm wasted and mad and you just knocked me out, pretty tempting to, I said to my go, shut up and go with them or I'm going to drop the hammer.
	And jail would have been in jail.
	That would have put you out for more than a week.
	And you know what was weird is they had his side.
	He's a very charming dude.
	Oh, yeah.
	Funny guy.
	Yeah.
	Like I've been with him where he needs to get his car fixed and he gets them down from like 6,000 to 200.
	Sheesh.
	Free haircuts.
	Like he's funny and charming.
	He charmed us after punching us.
	Well, we kept falling for the koala bear.
	Dude, what did I do?
	I didn't do anything.
	Look at us monsters.
	I could have sworn you just punched Ryan a bunch of times.
	I guess we forgot.
	I guess I'll have to check the tape and then let him go.
	Yeah.
	He's got some mitts on him.
	All right, let's see them.
	By the way, how much in the center of the national news is censored TV?
	We have chairman of the Proud Boys, Enrique Tario, Roger Stone, who we've had on the show a million times, and Laura Loomer, who has her own show.
	Right.
	These are our people.
	Can you just fucking play it, please?
	Well, I was elated, obviously.
	I was somewhat relieved, but I was not surprised.
	I believe from the beginning.
	Two problems.
	At the very beginning, at the time I was charged, you recall when 29 heavily armed FBI agents stormed my home in the pre-dawn hours of January 25th.
	Helicopter, they arrived in 17 armored units, frogmen jumping off their boats in the backyard, to arrest a 67-year-old man with no previous criminal record for white-collar process crimes.
	I can now tell you the cost to the taxpayers was $1.1 million.
	All they had to do was call my lawyer, and I would have been more than happy to turn myself in, particularly given the ridiculously flimsy charges on which I was sue David Shortel.
	See there.
	You sue David Shortel for being at your stakeout and working with the FBI.
	And what happens is there's, what do they call it?
	Exposure discovery.
	And then we see his emails.
	And then his emails lead to other emails.
	And we eventually find the FBI saying, we're going to be there at 5.30 a.m.
	Have your guy and his crew ready at 5 a.m.
	That would be huge because now we know for a fucking fact that law enforcement is working hand in hand with the media.
	And the proof of that is that this cunt, David Shortel, who's done no journalism before or after, showed up 15 minutes before, flew from DC, didn't stake out the house for days, staked out the house for 15 fucking minutes, 5 to 5.15, caught the scoop of the century.
	Sorry, not buying it.
	Why?
	journalists are so goddamn lazy these days.
	That's such an obvious scam.
	Who was that one chick that had the hots for him where she was like all buddy buddy with him?
	That anchor, remember?
	Yeah, she's really hot.
	But was she in on it too?
	Where was your...
	But she kept talking about how his instincts, his journalistic instincts.
	That's what it was, are just incredible.
	And then they started doing stories about stakeouts and how good they are and how many they do, which to me sounds like they're covering their ass when they got caught and they go, oh yeah, we've had a lot of stakeouts.
	That one was one of our luckiest ones.
	As opposed to we never do this.
	And the one time we do, it breaks all world records.
	We should have asked the PI, Vincent Parko.
	You know, he's probably done stakeouts.
	What do you think of a 15-minute stakeout?
	You want to we finish this or we're good on that?
	We're done.
	Speaking of proud boys, I discovered a video I hadn't seen before.
	John and Max are in prison for four years.
	I think they have a 1.8 years left.
	Oh no, I'm thinking of when the fight happened, but their actual date they went to court.
	Anyway, this isn't.
	You can watch this on your own time.
	Show everyone the title.
	What's it called?
	Union Guy from Trump Trolling to Walk Away.
	So he just for fun would pretend to be a Trump supporter to troll libs online.
	And he started realizing that they're all savages and that the fake points he was making are actually pretty good.
	Oh, well.
	Hello, my name is John, and I wanted to tell you about my personal walkaway moment.
	Okay, now what happened was a couple years ago, I didn't really pay much attention to Trump.
	Honestly, I thought Hillary versus Trump, I thought Trump was put in there for the sole purpose of losing.
	And the way I saw it was I was always, I mean, I was a Democrat before, but I wasn't afraid to criticize Obama, you know.
	And I did.
	And every time I criticized Obama for over anything that seemed to me to be common sense, I'd be called a racist.
	That it was simply because it's black.
	It's like, yo, I voted for the guy.
	I wanted him to win.
	He was better than McCain and the other.
	Who did he go against Carrie?
	Come on, it was obvious.
	This poor bastard right now is drawing little math problems for his kids.
	Like he makes them workbooks where you color in this and you do connect the dots and what's three plus four.
	Okay, to me, at the time, and plus, I was a union worker, you know, and the unions always told us, vote Democrat, vote Democrat.
	The political parties, the Democrats have the union vote lockdown, or at least they did.
	And nowadays, I see a lot of union guys, they may put money into the union who gives their money to the Democrats.
	But when it comes time to vote, they vote Republican.
	Okay.
	So it breaks my heart to see that man.
	Isn't it funny, too, that Max and John were both union guys out there?
	He's inspecting steel on high rises, risking his life.
	Max is in the tunnels with a sledgehammer, hammering the railroads.
	And these Antifa rich kids who say they're for industrial workers of the world, and they have their little logos with their sledgehammers, haven't worked a fucking day in their life.
	Just college kids who their identity is whatever diet they're on right now.
	I'm actually paleo green vegetables.
	Yeah.
	The way you eat.
	That's so fucking lame.
	The way you fuck or the way you eat is your identity.
	Both of those things are like taking a shit.
	Like, I'm gay.
	I put it in the butt.
	Okay, gross.
	I don't need to hear where your penis goes.
	If you were straight and you only did anal and you went up to people and went, hi, I'm a strictly anal guy.
	He would go, oh, Jesus.
	And then they eat my poopu.
	Also in the news, Joe Biden's niece is very, very hot.
	Incredible sex appeal.
	Joe Biden would have made a hot chick.
	Now, she has a black eye in this picture.
	I didn't really notice until I read the headline.
	I don't see him.
	Oh, black eye.
	From fighting the cops, I think.
	But Google image her.
	I think her name's Caroline Biden.
	Yeah.
	So you put that into the search bar.
	Sometimes she doesn't, she doesn't wear heels enough, I notice, while stalking her.
	No, you fucked up Caroline Biden.
	Why is it that you don't need to comment the age?
	You should put it in quotes.
	That was a hasty copy-paste.
	That doesn't look great in that one.
	But when she's more just shoveling.
	Yeah, look at that.
	She looks like an olsom.
	One of the olsomes.
	She's a nice age, too.
	She's like, look at that piece of ass.
	What a smoker.
	I think she's 32.
	We're right at the end of the line, my dear.
	I just thought I should tell you that news.
	And of course, Joe Biden is still retarded.
	I saw this clip.
	It's 46 minutes of him speaking Chinese.
	Like, not one word of this is intelligible.
	He's constantly saying he's in the wrong state.
	He calls North Carolina, North, South Carolina.
	Just in case.
	Covering the city.
	And I was thinking about that.
	No matter what, say you take a private jet.
	It's a very consequential thing going to a place.
	You know, you're in the bus, you're on the plane.
	It's not a, you don't get teleported there.
	If you were teleported, bloop, bloop, bloop, I'd understand going, what's this bloop?
	But like you get there, you get gas, you grab a sandwich on the way, do you know how we got a coffee?
	You get your coffee, dude.
	Dealing with what's going on in Colombia.
	What do we do?
	Just skip the needle anywhere on the record.
	Anywhere.
	He brought a lot of people into the process that weren't in it before.
	And so I think it's a tough decision for Bernie to make.
	And so science matters.
	And all Dale's been saying, Governor Wolf, is listen to the scientists.
	I've been able to also pick up the phone and call a lot of the people around the country and around the world I haven't had a chance to spend that much time in the last year and have been doing.
	And whether it's world leaders or close friends to get their sense of what they think we should be doing going in there and coming out of this god-awful pandemic.
	I've gotten to read more on a regular basis than I have before.
	I have gotten to read more than I have before on a regular basis.
	If he becomes president, I am going to laugh my fucking ass off.
	And he won't.
	We have to make those shirts.
	Trump.
	Four more years, bitches.
	Yeah.
	I want to wear it around my neighborhood.
	I'll probably get arrested.
	It's a hate crime.
	Loving Trump is a hate crime.
	By the way, it's weird that that clip, this is, I have a subject header here, feminism.
	And my first subject of feminism is Joe Biden's niece is a fucking smokeshow, and he's still retarded, by the way.
	Have you learned a lot about women's rights?
	No, but seriously, folks.
	You just tried to move on like a comedian.
	But seriously, folks.
	Yeah, that was my joke.
	Oh, I didn't know.
	Look at this unlovable, self-indulgent slob who watches TV and does me search.
	This is 1.6.
	Look at the picture.
	That's a hot ticket.
	Fighting sex was the best thing.
	Now, look at Laura Bogart, by the way.
	Google image her.
	You know, watching 650 Pound Life, she's no Caroline Biden.
	You realize a lot of these people got that fat from self-indulgence.
	And you know what's weird about that picture?
	You can see a pretty girl in there.
	But she's a fat pig.
	Now, is she a fat pig because someone held her down and stuffed Twinkies in her face for 10 years?
	No, because she indulged herself.
	So she's not lovable.
	She doesn't deserve love.
	Fat people don't deserve love.
	That's not her, right?
	That might just be a fat name to have Laura Bogart.
	I think so, yeah.
	Might be a curse.
	Bogart the joint.
	She Bogart's the burrito.
	Buffet Bogart.
	But when you read her writing, you go, oh, I know why you're fat.
	Because you're a self-indulgent fucking slump.
	Most of her articles, by the way, if you look at her name, like click on her name.
	About half her articles are about some show.
	Oh, maybe it's on another site.
	Salon, I think.
	Yeah, on Salon.
	She writes about some show.
	It's called, you know how there's just too many shows now?
	So it's like that guy who played Freddie Mercury in the Queen movie, I think.
	It's just like 900 reviews of that particular episode.
	Like when they did that, The Talking Dead thing where they reviewed The Walking Dead.
	In other words, you're sitting on your ass, watching TV, shoveling Haagen-Daws into your face and talking about how you're so alone.
	And in the article, right?
	Go back to 1.6.
	In the article, if you're going to talk about celibacy and, you know, not having sex, you start out with stats.
	You show us if it's becoming more common or less common.
	You give us an example of what it was like in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, how it's changed over a while.
	You know, some big picture stuff.
	But women aren't good at big picture thinking, and it makes them terrible writers.
	So what do women do when they write?
	They come right out of the gate talking about themselves.
	Me, me, me, me, me.
	So why do you keep leaving?
	Go back to the article.
	Oh, there it is.
	Wait, go back.
	No, you were on the page.
	Laura Bogart, writer.
	No, I went to Salon.
	Her article.
	Yeah, come on.
	There it is.
	Well, maybe it wasn't Salon.
	But the page you were just on, it had the show that she writes about incessantly.
	Oh, it was that one.
	But it wasn't written by her.
	Okay, anyway, sorry.
	Go back to the article now.
	1.6.
	Keep.
	This moment, a handsome man kissing my bare back.
	Like, it's a diary.
	How is this informative?
	Kissing my bare back, his lips and his hands moving with deft tenderness over the rolls of fat that have anguished me since I was a teenager.
	Yeah, since you made yourself fat, you fat pig.
	You write like a fat pig.
	Like this first paragraph is her stuffing her face.
	So she's talking about a guy fucking her.
	Like imagine a man going, she caresses my penis with deft, deft massaging techniques, holding my tiny penis that has been my anguish since adolescence.
	Eventually a fountain comes gushing out.
	Like, I don't want to hear about your fucking fat rolls, bitch.
	Once we've finished, I'm lying with my head on his chest, inhaling the gentle musk of dried sweat.
	I feel bold.
	I ask if he'd like to go on a proper date.
	He says, cool, cool.
	And then she realizes he doesn't want to because he's ashamed of me.
	So that begins 10 years of celibacy, where she says, it's great.
	I love it.
	And women have another problem, which works great for motherhood, and it's called agreeability, where they're okay with everything.
	So the kid shows them a shitty drawing, and they go, that's good.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	That's good.
	That's their role.
	I, as the dad, go, that sucks.
	First of all, a horse does not have five legs, retard.
	And the kid gets a balance.
	But now, when you ruin their life, take away children, make them celibate, they sit there with a Hitachi magic wand and a fur baby going, this is actually better.
	Like, I'm actually loving this.
	See, I'm smiling.
	See?
	That was my friend Robbie's favorite rape joke.
	He said, it's the harshest joke I've ever heard, so brace yourself.
	Because I hate fucking fake smiles, fake people.
	Like, I was raping this girl the other night, and I was holding a knife to her neck, and I said, smile, bitch.
	And she was crying, and she's like, I'm smiling.
	See, I'm smiling.
	Holy shit.
	That is piquant.
	That's too much indecency.
	You can't always do that.
	Oh, Milo just sent me this.
	I emailed it to you.
	And Antifa getting arrested.
	With all these extra rules, we now end extra brattiness.
	So the cops have 900 new rules about arresting people, and they're all on camera.
	If we only show the worst part of the arrest, that's A and B. C, we're at unprecedented brattiness.
	So now we have screaming, insane brats who are multi-gendered, and it takes nine guys to arrest them.
	including I believe the National Guard.
	1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
	It's like a dozen guys.
	I've come in peace.
	I come at peace.
	SWAT?
	Is that the army?
	Army?
	And then normal cops.
	I've come with peace.
	I come with peace.
	I come in because he's not a space?
	Am I legally obligated to go down?
	Please.
	Get out of my face.
	Take me to your leader.
	I'm just asking, why is this happening?
	We've got to come up with a better way to subdue people.
	I mean, how many hours of footage have we watched of people, cops trying to get your arms behind your back?
	They have that stick with the loop on the end?
	There should be like a loop thing where you put one thing on here, then you hold the other wrist and you go zoop.
	And they like come together.
	Can they invent that, please?
	I've been watching videos just of resisting arrest like the whole weekend, and things went bad.
	We're in Escape from New York.
	You should see, I was in Lower Manhattan after we did the Vince Parko thing, and it's indistinguishable from Escape from New York.
	I have a video I'll show you.
	I am a woman!
	Hear that?
	I am a woman.
	I'm a musical veteran!
	I'm a yellow!
	come in peace.
	You're that?
	They're yelling?
	Yeah.
	I hope the Taliban shoots you one day, motherfuckers.
	Hold on.
	You are not patriots.
	You are not patriots.
	No, I am not all right.
	No, and I am a woman.
	Stop mischiggering me.
	Stop misgendering me.
	Yeah, actually, you guys are under arrest.
	You've been misgendering this person this whole time.
	Wait, check your email for that video I made of New York City.
	I got it.
	I don't feel safe in New York anymore.
	It feels like I wasn't here in the 80s, but from what I'm told, it sounds like we're back in the 80s.
	That's City Hall.
	Look at that.
	All cops are bastards.
	Communist flags.
	Lenape lands.
	We have to give this Manhattan back to the Lenape Indians, I guess.
	And then people just yelling obscenities at the cops.
	Fuck you, pig.
	I think I caught it on tape.
	At the post office across from Penn Station, that little city that they have, the homeless people has been growing.
	They have a whole like half block now.
	It's like Philly now.
	Where the homeless just like.
	It's like Skid Row.
	Yeah.
	It's bananas.
	Absolutely bananas.
	This reminds me when you're saying not a woman.
	It reminds me of a tweet Rhea Butcher put out.
	Butcher, she's a lesbian comedian.
	And this is a thing now.
	I mean, I'll never get used to this.
	Ever.
	I promise you.
	She just goes, just real quick, I'm not a woman.
	Thanks, everyone.
	You're also not great at punctuation.
	Just real quick, comma.
	Okay.
	I'm not a woman.
	Period.
	And then thanks, comma, everyone, period.
	No period for her.
	Him.
	You're a lesbian.
	You're a Hannah Gatz because she's.
	Isn't it kind of sexist for a lesbian to deny her womanness?
	Women are included in lesbians.
	You're saying lesbians aren't women.
	Google image her.
	You're certainly not a man, my dear.
	Do you want to talk about shit jokes?
	Do you want to get in a fist fight after being compared to John Goodman and have to mop up the blood the next day?
	Speaking of which, we're in the same garb.
	Yeah.
	Brigg Goodman as well.
	Do you think you're us?
	Like, do you want to watch graveyard cars?
	I've noticed, by the way, when it's the other way around and they become trans, you check their Twitter and there's tons of sports shit.
	Whoa.
	Because they're like, fucking, what's the matter with Colin Kaepernick?
	He's got the worst defender in the league.
	I don't know anything about football, but bitching about the Jets and you're like, great defense.
	If we don't get a good front yard linesman, we're fucked this year.
	Wow, you sure sound like a dude.
	I don't sound like a dude right there.
	But yeah, look at her.
	Lady, you are in the dictionary under lesbian.
	Her girlfriend is the same way.
	Is that her?
	Yeah.
	Like they wear jeans and tuck their shirt in and they think that's all it takes to become a man.
	That's a dude right there.
	And they're often, you know what they tend to look like?
	Handsome little 12-year-old boys.
	Like look at that baseball pic.
	That's not a man.
	What the?
	That's my son.
	There's no crying in baseball.
	Look at those clowns.
	Look at that picture where she's with the girlfriend there.
	Yeah.
	You're women, dummy.
	Do you really think you're anything but well, I'm not a man, but I'm not a woman.
	No, you're not.
	You're a boring.
	Oh, Cameron is.
	Run of the mill.
	That's another woman.
	Dictionary definition lesbian.
	I've met a billion of you.
	You look exactly like the lesbians from the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s.
	You're a textbook lesbian.
	There's nothing genderless about you.
	You're not magic.
	Okay?
	Sorry, lesbian wasn't exciting enough.
	Is that a name short for diarrhea?
	All right, moving on.
	Like, a dude wants to fuck a chick, like, really pound her.
	And part of the fun of sex for both, for women, it's being dominated and having this guy in control and feeling like vulnerable, but also safe at the same time.
	He might smack my ass.
	I don't know.
	There's some danger involved.
	And then the man, it's like you're controlling this thing.
	It's like you're riding a giant seahorse.
	Just like, I'm moving it and I'm doing this and I'm in control and I'm the boss and I'm fixing things.
	That's the fun of it.
	So I don't see her, Rhea Butcher, as like really pinning a bitch down and giving it to her.
	They just scissor and then they eventually get lesbian bed death because are lesbians really a real?
	Are they?
	I don't believe in lesbian sex when I hear like my lesbian friend like, oh yeah, we had sex.
	It's like, no, you didn't.
	No, you didn't.
	You fucking made out someone fingered someone.
	Right.
	Which reminds me of this Taylor Swift video.
	I know this is ancient news, but it came up on my feed.
	No, it came up on my TV when I was channel flipping and I made a note to myself to really go through this because the way Taylor Swift stereotypes men in this video is so juvenile and such a ridiculous exaggeration that it's actually a parody of the way women see men.
	So I see it as like, this is a men's rights video.
	It's so bad.
	Check it out.
	Men are losers.
	Men are gross.
	They're disgusting.
	They're rich and they smoke cigars and grab women's ass.
	You know, the way women often portray men, it reminds me of the most racist Sambo from like the 1800s.
	One time for Halloween, I was a woman dressed as a man.
	So I had makeup on and then I washed it off and I put a wig on and then stuffed it into a fedora.
	And I had like flats on and a woman's blazer and stuff.
	And I was like, I had tea leaves on my face to do a fake beard.
	And I had a cigar and I was like, hey, man.
	Oh, I love tits.
	Yeah, yeah.
	They're really cool.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Grabbing asses and stuff.
	It's kind of racist the way they see us.
	But this video is cartoonishly insulting misandry.
	That's what you call it when you're sexist towards men.
	That's Taylor Swift.
	She is the man.
	And I don't know.
	I'm constantly shocked at how much women hate us.
	This is so fucking mean, this video.
	But you can do that because you're making fun of men.
	And men are fucking garbage, right?
	Homer Simpson?
	All right, so just pause.
	Here is, she's a rich businessman.
	This is what she would be if she was a man, right?
	And you're supposed to have contempt for a wealthy CEO looking out at the city.
	Now, office space like this, it appears to be in Midtown, very expensive, maybe 17 grand a month.
	You want to indulge in that once in a while.
	Can we not indulge in the view?
	Like, how is this a sin?
	It's not easy to become a successful CEO in Manhattan.
	Congratulations, dude.
	Nice job.
	Enjoy the view.
	You rock.
	Turn it up.
	I can't hear shit.
	Why has it not started yet?
	I would be complex.
	I would be cool.
	They'd say I played the field before I found someone to commit to.
	What's the matter with that?
	You fucked a bunch of chicks.
	You know who else has played the field?
	A woman named Taylor Swift.
	She's fucked tons of dudes.
	I've seen them in the gossip mags.
	So that's not a sin.
	And here's this part coming up is weird.
	Everyone at this office loves this guy.
	So he's obviously a great boss who really inspires people to make more money, not just for the company, but for themselves.
	This guy's awesome.
	For me to do every conquest I have.
	Come on, let's get to work.
	Get to work.
	Okay, we will, boss.
	You rock.
	I paused.
	This is so unimaginative.
	They just ripped off the Wolf of Wall Street Leonardo DiCaprio scene where he stands there and says, I'm not leaving.
	I'm not leaving.
	And everyone cheers and claps.
	And everyone cheers and claps at that dude, which they did in real life because he was making them tons of fucking money.
	An alpha type.
	He hires tons of women.
	Blacks.
	Very diverse office.
	Okay, well, stop.
	I fucking hate mansplaining.
	What is this?
	Man versus caster?
	Disaster?
	Anyway.
	Disaster looks like it.
	Man versus disaster?
	That sounds good.
	Oh, look, capitalize on the feel.
	Anyway, this isn't a thing.
	Man spreading is not a thing.
	You know what is a thing?
	Women spreading.
	I'm on the subway on a regular basis, and women always put their expensive purses next to them.
	Sometimes they have shopping bags and purses.
	In a bar, you almost always have to say to the woman, oh, is someone, and she goes, oh, I'm sorry.
	And she'll pick up her purse because her purse got its own seat at the bar.
	There's me, a human, and then a Louis Vuitton.
	Like, they don't want to put on the ground because it's like a thousand bucks.
	So they give it its own chair.
	Woman spreading is a serious problem in New York.
	Not really.
	Not serious, but if there's any spreading going on, it's broads.
	And you can't smoke on the subway, to be clear.
	Wait, wait, what's with his briefcase?
	Is he a DJ?
	It's got like 500 vinyl records in there.
	Tap your ashes into a purse?
	You can't smoke on the subway, and no one would ever let you tap their ashes into their purse for men with real thirst.
	He's going to be thirsty for some reason.
	Wait, wait, go back, go back.
	What did he just do?
	Throw garbage on someone one second ago?
	Wait, wait, go back.
	What is that?
	If I was a man, then I'd be the man, I'd be the man You know when men do that?
	When they're looking at the paper and they put shit over?
	You know who pisses me off on the train, by the way?
	It's liberals because they read the New York Times and it's a giant fucking newspaper that takes up the whole train.
	What do working class people read?
	The New York Post.
	It's a little tiny paper that doesn't get in anyone's way.
	You can't piss in the subway, major fines.
	Even in today's anarchist New York, you'll get in big shit.
	I went to court for it once.
	So his piss is paint, and it says the man.
	By the way, this is okay, this is also supposed to make you mad, right?
	That he has all these chicks lying around sunbathing.
	How about these stupid chicks that are sex toys?
	How come they have no culpability?
	If you're a dumb slut who just lets rich guys fuck you so you can sunbathe, you're a loser and you should be ashamed of yourself.
	You're wasting your life.
	You stupid whore.
	You're a cheap prostitute.
	Prostitutes usually get hundreds of dollars.
	You get to be a stowaway on a sunbathing machine.
	Pathetic.
	I don't see any.
	And if a man can pull that off, congratulations, buddy.
	You managed to find all the dumb sluts.
	They wouldn't shake their heads and question how much of this guy deserves.
	Versace shirt.
	Okay, finally, finally, the guy does something shitty.
	He yells at a waiter.
	I don't know what this waiter did, but it appears that he's being mean.
	So we're what?
	A minute, we're a quarter of the way in, and the guy's finally been a dick.
	Okay.
	music
	What is this?
	Is this what women think we do?
	Even the Wolf of Wall Street guy, the peak of his wealth, he had one chick.
	The only time I've seen a horde of whores like that is with black wrappers.
	It's not really a white thing.
	If I may too, this guy is less successful than Taylor Swift.
	Yeah, he has less money than Clay Swift.
	He's less slammed the food chain than she has.
	And I'm sure she's been on a boat and there was a bunch of hangers on, these dudes dying to fuck her.
	Sunbathing hotties.
	Okay.
	Okay, so he gets up early after he fucks a chick and he's ready to go to work at it appears to be like 7 a.m.
	Is that bad?
	And I'm so sick of them coming at me again.
	Cause if I was a man.
	What the fuck is this?
	Like, is she saying that men have it so easy?
	And if she was a man, things would have been so easy for her.
	She's a very talented songwriter who's made, I don't know, hundreds of millions with her awesome songs.
	But if only I was a man, things would...
	America, if it has any ism, it's beauty-ism.
	It's ugly-ism.
	They don't like uglies.
	Taylor Swift's very attractive, and that really helped her singing career.
	If she was a fat, ugly pig, I don't think we'd know who Taylor Swift is.
	So juvenile.
	So shitty.
	Like, who is the homo who came up with this video?
	And then we'll have multicolored hands, and Taylor, you just go through and you're slapping all the hands, and they're every color, every stripe.
	What does this mean?
	Okay, so this guy's supposed to be a villain, right?
	So he's a villain, and he's on his phone when he should be with his, I guess, his daughter.
	I guess he's getting older now.
	Okay, that's shitty.
	So that's two shitty things so far.
	Being rude to the waiter and taking a call when you're with your daughter.
	Well, he's not on the phone anymore, so that call doesn't count.
	That wasn't a big deal.
	Okay, what's the subtext there?
	That we get way too much praise for the slightest thing.
	We pick up our daughter once and everyone thinks we're the world's greatest dad.
	The opposite is true.
	Dads can do no good.
	Watch TV.
	Look at the father character.
	He's always the bumbling idiot.
	And not just The Simpsons.
	Check out the cartoon Gumball.
	The rabbit dad of Gumball is a hundred light years past retarded.
	He can't feed himself.
	He doesn't know what a fridge is.
	I don't know how he drives.
	He's constantly bumping into things and talking to inanimate objects.
	That's the way dads are portrayed in this world.
	In fact, Black Lives Matter has said their job is to destroy the nuclear family.
	The American left is determined to nullify dads.
	Mother's Day, big deal.
	Father's Day.
	So this isn't a thing.
	We talk about asses and tits.
	We get in fights.
	We sometimes do shots off of hot chicks, probably like once every eight years.
	We don't have our own money.
	We're not on the money.
	White men are on the money, but it's not us.
	It's George Washington and guys like that, Ben Franklin.
	Okay.
	Some of us play tennis.
	Women's charity.
	Wow, this guy really is a jerk.
	That's how my youngest boy pronounces jerk.
	Okay, so let me get this straight.
	I just figured out the song right now.
	She's sick of people coming at her and shitting on her.
	And if she was a man, that wouldn't happen.
	Taylor, you sold your song rights away.
	You sold your publishing.
	And then you got pissed off that someone else was making money and they said that you can't perform these songs.
	And then you tried to sue them.
	You signed the deal.
	Well, I was just, I was a kid then.
	Yeah, that's why you got a lawyer.
	A lawyer read it and you and your lawyer, your counsel, made a decision together.
	So you're not a victim.
	You're a multi-millionaire, incredibly successful woman.
	And yes, you get shit on social media, as do 100% of famous people.
	You want to fucking know what it's like to be shat on and attacked?
	Try being me, you stupid bitch.
	Try having your friends thrown in prison for Mutual combat.
	Yes.
	One tennis player, John McEnroe, lost his temper.
	58 years later.
	Yeah, that's really common, isn't it?
	How many 80-year-olds are married to 25-year-olds?
	Like eight.
	There was, what's her name?
	The one who's dead now.
	Anna Cole Smith.
	Anna Nicole Smith.
	And that was world news.
	That was so crazy.
	How many times do you meet a geriatric who looks like this and he goes, hi, this is my bride, Julia?
	It's not a thing.
	There are as many Nazis as there are senior citizens married to girls like that.
	Like, the stereotypes here are 1940s racist.
	This is Sambo shit.
	This isn't a thing, bitch.
	This is actually a parody of how women see men.
	Man Dance Film Festival.
	Yeah, wait a minute.
	You can't, by the way, just for the directors of videos, you can't now go back in time.
	You already did 58 years later.
	You have to end with the old man.
	You can't go back and show footage of him slapping colored fists.
	That's done.
	What is he?
	time traveler now I'll be the man Oh Oh If your employees are clapping, right?
	Just pause.
	If your employees are clapping when you're in the office, then you're making them a ton of dough and you're awesome.
	If there are about 1310s on your yacht, you're fucking charming and amazing in bed and you have a lot of Coke.
	What's the issue here?
	this is a jerk Yeah, this isn't the life we lead, ladies.
	It's not what it's like to be us.
	Fuck you.
	What's gonna happen now, Taylor?
	Hey, just checking.
	Was that last take more what you had in mind?
	Pretty good.
	Could you try to be sexier?
	Maybe more likable this time?
	Okay.
	Okay, no problem.
	Is that The Rock?
	That was fucking Russian levels.
	Like, I thought I was watching a video in another country.
	Fuck you, Taylor Swift.
	you can't.
	Look at the quality of my suit.
	First of all, you get this cool little Gavin McInnis in it, right?
	And then it's got these little tugs here.
	Oh, yeah.
	Just in case you lose, or yeah, you lose some weight, which is, I respect, obviously not happening.
	Can you see the back of the pants?
	Does it have the after-dinner split?
	No, after-dinner split.
	That's alright, though.
	I need one, though.
	Yeah.
	These are feeling kind of tight.
	Yeah, no belt's the way to go.
	That's a sleek look.
	Ryan said to me when we were shooting, all my shirts have GMM, Gavin, Miles, McInnes.
	And Ryan goes, what's your middle name again?
	I go, Miles.
	And he goes, oh, yeah, I saw it on your bracelet there.
	First I said collar.
	Your collar.
	And I go, my collar?
	He goes, oh, no, your bracelet.
	Your arm collar.
	This is a bracelet.
	I know what they are.
	I just get all tongue twisted.
	I got hit a lot this weekend.
	I got bidened.
	Last thing on the feminism, of course, is this weird old Kant I'd never heard of before.
	Atheism is unstoppable.
	I was very familiar with her, but I never heard of her.
	Her problem with education is that it's not left-wing enough.
	1-8.
	1-8.
	This is amazing.
	If you're white, please watch this video.
	Who is that?
	All whites are racist.
	Can you expound on that?
	Please.
	Any white person who was born, raised, and schooled in the United States of America, if you aren't a racist, you're a miracle.
	Either that or you decided to educate yourself.
	Because education in this country is about white is right, brown's all right, black's got to stand back.
	Yellow's mellow, but whites, we educate in a way that says that white males have done all the adventures, have made all the adventures, have done all the discovering, have made all everything that is.
	In a predominantly white country, which is now 14% black, but back when she, I assume she's talking about her education in the 60s.
	So blacks were probably like 8%.
	So I'm guessing they're probably appeared in about 8% of the stories.
	You don't think she's been in a school in a long time?
	I don't think so.
	Good that has been accomplished, has been accomplished according to social studies, which is actually anti-social studies, by white males.
	It's a lie.
	But we do that in order to maintain the myth of white superiority.
	Okay.
	The myth of race.
	We're focusing on peanut butter and the traffic light, I guess.
	And the Afro comb.
	To be maintained by the people.
	Who invented the car?
	Who invented electricity?
	Who invented air conditioning?
	Who put a giant thing with wings into the sky and enabled people to travel around the world?
	Who was that?
	It's in this country.
	Because if white people have to give up the color of their skin as being something that makes them perfect, what do they have left?
	If we start teaching the truth about history, if we start teaching about Nile Valley contributions to civilization, it will totally change.
	Did you hear what she just said?
	Nile Valley contributions.
	Yeah.
	She's talking about Egypt.
	She's saying we was kings.
	Lady, as we learned in our little chart the other day in our history lesson, Egypt is 2000 BC.
	Sorry, there is some controversy about the scissor.
	I think it was Leonardo da Vinci.
	Others think that the scissors that ancient Egyptians used is comparable to ours.
	What else do they fucking invent?
	The pyramids?
	Slavery?
	I think Rome might have a little bit more of an influence on modern man.
	I think the Magna Carta, the social contract, Germany, America is basically founded by Germans, Protestants.
	Well.
	Well, you know how we wrap our dead in cloth and then pull out their organs and put them in little jars?
	Yeah, we're all the mummies.
	That was, believe it or not.
	We have totally ignored Egypt's influence on American history.
	Yeah, correct.
	And by the way, not being a racist in school, my daughter is bombarded with Birmingham and blacks.
	And she had to watch Hidden Figures for School, a fake movie full of bullshit that pretends that NASA had racially segregated bathrooms.
	They did not.
	And it pretends that these women who were just math janitors put a man on the moon.
	Like, she's just a, these are all just lies.
	I couldn't, I think the biggest problem with America today is that, obviously, college is crap, but who gives a fuck?
	K through 12 is all Marxist bullshit claptrap BLM.
	Remember the teacher we had on the other day who was doing the thing, they were quizzing people about American history?
	And she said, I don't teach the syllabus.
	I teach them about activism, about Black Lives Matter.
	That's what goes on in school now.
	What grade was that?
	Fourth grade?
	Elementary.
	Oh, yeah.
	When my kid was, when Johnny was in pre-K, he told me he hated Trump.
	He was fucking three.
	I remember in kindergarten, they had me vote.
	They had everybody vote for Pataki and Giuliani, I think, or some crap like that.
	Isn't that weird?
	Yeah.
	First grade.
	The way we conduct ourselves in the classroom.
	It will have to.
	Columbus didn't discover America.
	You can't discover a place where people are already living.
	Just part of it.
	No one said Columbus discovered America.
	He landed in the fucking Caribbean, you tard.
	There were two ships that came here.
	There was Plymouth Rock and there was whatever it's called, Williamsburg.
	Read that every October.
	It's a lie.
	We need to stop telling you this.
	We're going to school you on what happened here.
	The British came.
	They fought with the Indians.
	We declared independence.
	We kept fighting with the Indians.
	Overall, 400 years, we fought with them.
	That's our best adversary, I think, since the beginning of man.
	The Crusades came close.
	Islam was almost as worthy an adversary.
	Nazis were nothing.
	What was that?
	Three years?
	Obama's Medicare website took more money and time than fucking killing the Nazis.
	They were not worthy.
	But the Indians?
	Worthy.
	But, my dear, we won.
	That's how things happen.
	That's how the Indians got their land.
	They took it from other Indians.
	They conquered other Indians.
	God, she's a retard.
	Start telling the truth.
	So when you tell people that they're racist, it must have some kind of effect because most people will say, I'm not racist.
	I'm not a racist.
	Why some of my best friends are black?
	Right.
	Yeah, and then you say, name one.
	Or this one.
	I don't see color.
	And when some woman says to me, I don't see color, I say, I knew that.
	If you saw color, you wouldn't dye your hair that way.
	Oh, my God.
	Like, she's an absolute fucking imbecile.
	Or I say, if you saw color, you wouldn't wear that shirt with those pants.
	I believe that you don't see color.
	It's an attempt to deny skin color.
	And it's an attempt to deny, what's wrong with seeing the color of my skin?
	Is it all right for you to see me kind of pink?
	That's okay for me.
	I don't mind.
	And I suspect.
	I don't think you're all gray.
	Your clothes, your hair, your earrings.
	I don't mind being seen the color you are.
	You have a right to be what you are.
	And until people in this country...
	By the way, you notice that the left is sort of colour, because obviously she's a geriatric, but the fact that Alyssa Milano is forwarding her shows that she's indicative of the mentality.
	And you notice they're getting away from MLK.
	MLK is becoming too right-wing.
	They embrace identity politics.
	He eschewed identity politics.
	And he's about to be canceled.
	People in this world get it into their heads that the first modern human beings that evolved on this earth were black women.
	They evolved in sub-Saharan Africa about 280,000 years ago.
	And every human being on the face of the earth today has the memory of those black women's genetic structure in their genes.
	Okay, cool.
	So aren't you also calling black people the most primitive people then?
	The least evolved?
	Isn't that what you just said?
	By the way, I sent you some articles.
	Professors now.
	Professors are concerned.
	I emailed you.
	Are concerned with going to Zoom and becoming digital?
	No, not that.
	It's another one.
	the other one home because they fear their students will What are you doing?
	Are you sure?
	I'm sure.
	It's the Medium article sent at this time.
	Poopy, goodoopy.
	Well, just look up professors worried students will share lectures with right-wing sites.
	It's on campus reform.
	They say professors across the country are expressing concern over courses being moved online as a result of the coronavirus pandemic.
	One professor expresses concern that quote-unquote right-wing sites could expose what is being taught in college courses.
	In other words, what we just did to that chick, normally she has a captive audience and they all have to fall for her bullshit.
	But If you share these classes, us sane non-liberals can say, we fought with the Indians for 400 years, we conquered them, got the land, then we took it from the English, and we became America.
	So it started in 1776.
	Nothing before that matters.
	Oh, and after the Civil War, the balance sheet was zero.
	So it wasn't the slaves, all the slave money was gone.
	So we did not steal this land, and it was not built by slaves.
	Isn't that awesome?
	This is why they say, I don't want to give Nazis a platform because their platform is genocide.
	And if you let them talk, then people will die.
	That's bullshit.
	What they really mean is I don't want to argue with them because I'll look like a fucking idiot because I have no idea what I'm talking about.
	And now professors are going to have to face the internet.
	Good.
	What else do we got here?
	Jesus, there's a lot of shit.
	I also sent you another article.
	There's this fucking bitch named Nandini Jammy, Indian woman.
	And she's the one.
	It's getting so hot in here.
	I got to take this off.
	You know when you hear about like, oh, they shut down our payment thing and we can't use PayPal or we can't process things or Proud Boys had their fucking whatever Uber canceled?
	This is the bitch.
	I sent you this article.
	Or also look up Breitbart Matt Rivets of Far Left Sleeping Giants admits discriminating against women of color.
	What was this site Breitbart, right?
	She's canceling everything.
	She is really the driving force behind most of cancel culture when it comes to conservatives.
	So she's just, she works with Sleeping Giants.
	She co-founded it.
	And as always happens with these lefties, they cannibalize themselves.
	So now she's canceling her own company, Sleeping Giants.
	Isn't that awesome?
	So they got together and started canceling people for being racist, sexist, whatever, homophobic.
	And they shut down.
	They tried to shut down Breitbart.
	They cost Breitbart millions.
	Tucker Carlson organized a boycott.
	Like everything, every time you hear about it, it's 90% of the time it comes down to one of these cocksuckers.
	And now they start turning on each other.
	And then Deani Jammy says, he never invites me to things and he gets all the money and he's sexist and he trivializes my voice because I'm a person of color.
	So now her own company is racist.
	So she's quitting.
	But what does his letter say?
	Letter of apology.
	Let's see here.
	Matt here.
	Oh, hi, Matt.
	Oh, hi, Mark.
	Oh, hi, Mark.
	By now, many of you have likely read the post from Nandini Jammy, with whom I've collaborated for the last nearly four years.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Sleeping Johnson is always supposed to be anonymous, blah, blah, blah.
	After receiving death threats to my family from neo-Nazis, oh, you poor thing.
	It must suck to have your family put in jeopardy.
	By three people.
	I've always tried to throw my life to everyone fairly, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	I'm immensely proud of what...
	Wouldn't it be funny if it said, I was not ignoring her because she's a person of color.
	I was ignoring her because she's a cunt.
	That would be hilarious.
	Her dull, ignorable demeanor demands that I treat her as such.
	She wrote a big thing on Medium that says, I am leaving Sleeping Giants.
	Ryan, you're supposed to be looking this up when I say that.
	Has that note up?
	I'm leaving Sleeping Giants, but not because I want to.
	And the jargon she uses against her own company is the same jargon she's been using against all these conservative sites.
	This is why I always say the left is like radical Islam.
	They're insatiable.
	They just start, when there's nothing left to cancel, they start canceling themselves.
	She's probably going to put out a thing saying that she's a racist.
	Nearly four years, blah, blah, blah.
	Notice, by the way, just like that fat bitch at the beginning, it's all me search.
	Me, me, me, me, me.
	I began Sleeping Giants.
	I want to share.
	I hope other brilliant women of color, she's brilliant, obviously, but other brilliant ones.
	Scroll down.
	I guarantee there'll be no substance.
	Grew from nothing, blah, blah, blah.
	How it worked, blah, blah, blah.
	Yeah, thanks.
	My relationship with Matt was positive.
	We came together.
	We came out together and I disappeared.
	She also, I think, lives in Germany, which somehow makes it more sinister, doesn't it?
	To be fucking up America from across the pond and living in like Utrecht or fucking Stuttgart.
	Utrecht isn't in Germany.
	Without my knowledge, my story was being defined by someone else, a white man who could use his platform to exclude me, diminish me, or disappear me entirely.
	That's not a word.
	He never once invited me to join him.
	I never had any idea he was doing any of these interviews until it was too late.
	So how do you do interviews then?
	Yeah, they start off being anonymous, and now she's mad that she doesn't get enough fame.
	Oh, God.
	Ugh.
	It's terrible.
	And that's what I told you.
	Didn't I tell you that they're horrible people?
	They're shitty people.
	They're gremlins who contribute nothing to the world.
	What's creepy is that they revolve around white people so much.
	Yeah, it's just a weird obsession, too.
	It's like the anal sex thing.
	It's like daddy issues almost.
	Yeah, white man.
	A white man.
	I hate you.
	All right, we should probably wrap up.
	I got a bunch of stuff we can talk about tomorrow.
	BLM.
	Oh, but we got to mention this, though.
	2-4.
	Fucking 2-4.
	Some woman, this is a very, you're not going to like my take on this at all.
	Someone was just killed for saying, all lives matter.
	It was a big mob, Black Lives Matter.
	And they're intimidating people walk by.
	And she said, all lives matter, guys.
	They shot her in the face.
	Shot her dead.
	She has a three-year-old.
	And she was with her fiancé.
	I don't know if that's his kid.
	And this is on some right-wing sites, but you're not going to see this outside of like conservative parlor or something.
	But here's my take.
	You know, we're living in chaotic times.
	Don't engage.
	Don't say all lives matter to a mad mob.
	These people are fucking lunatics.
	Like, look at 2-0.
	This is, this, look at that.
	Oh, shit.
	He climbed to the top.
	I guess he was going to try to wreck it, and then he slipped.
	Oh, oh, my God.
	He's got to be dead, right?
	I don't know.
	Unless he landed on his head or neck, I don't think he's dead, but.
	He's dead.
	Because he, look, that slows him down.
	He hits the thing on the way down.
	Oh, shh.
	Not very epithet.
	Never mind.
	The test light failed.
	This is their world.
	This is where we're at.
	Like, look at 2-2.
	This was on Metro North, I believe.
	Same train we take to the burbs.
	Oh my goink, you monsters.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I remember this.
	Oh, no, that's the normal subway.
	No volume?
	And he's doing that prison thing, the sewing machine.
	Chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka.
	An old man covered in blood?
	Look at how he's gonna put his hat back on.
	The hand is fucked.
	that's fucked oof The MTA guy was very helpful.
	Not going to chase him?
	Anyway, so that's the world we're living in right now.
	America's up burning.
	So if you're a mom, I mean, unless you're a fucking proud boy or a war vet or you're mixed martial arts and you're armed, like don't talk, get the fuck away from that mob.
	Don't go out to them and go, all lives matter.
	Yes, you're correct.
	All lives matter.
	And yes, you're right and they're wrong.
	And they're not about black lives.
	They're about a whole other Marxist agenda.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	But it's not your turn to be right.
	It's fucking dangerous, ladies.
	Have some instincts.
	Your kid doesn't have a mommy now.
	Because you just had to get your two cents in.
	All right, last thing in the news.
	Have you seen this really weird conspiracy theory?
	I'm going to say that.
	I'm going to text Alex Jones' son and say, your dad is like a gym teacher for the American mind.
	Because I don't know if this is true or not.
	But I'm glad that there's nuts out there like Alex Jones, at least shining a light on it and getting people asking questions.
	So Wayfair, this was the company that was in the news last year because they were supplying mattresses to the legal alien things, which I guess you're not supposed to do.
	You have to make sure they get their mattresses from someone else.
	What's going on?
	Yeah, I don't.
	So now you have to fact check these stories.
	And the fact checkers say, no, this is false because Wayfair said the cabinets were high priced because they're industrial.
	Oh, cool.
	Okay.
	So an industrial cabinet might go for $1,000.
	So if somebody before, like a couple weeks ago, were like, Roger Stone's guilty, he's like, actually, that's false because he said he wasn't.
	Yeah.
	So I should have explained that.
	I know I've seen industrial cabinets.
	They are expensive.
	They're $1,000.
	And cheap ones for your home, $200.
	In neither case, is it $12,000?
	Or do they have names of missing children?
	But that's, I don't get, I'm not sure I buy that.
	Like, not only am I going to kidnap a kid, ship it to you, but I'm also going to be so bold that I use the name of the kid to name the cabinet.
	Go ahead.
	Oh, fuck you.
	Fucking Jack.
	Twitter.
	Fucking for me, transgender sports illustrated model.
	You think that's the main thing I care about?
	You fucking idiot.
	So we're going to go to trending here.
	Wayfair, 176,000 people talking about it.
	What are they talking about?
	They're talking about this.
	Before we go there, here's a history for Wayfair.
	From last year, they had an issue where employees planned Wednesday walk out after learning they are making beds for migrant detention centers.
	We know where most of the kids who get trafficked are found.
	They're found in the detention centers.
	So that is a red flag right there, a bloody glove, whatever you want to call it.
	Darian found this.
	See that cabinet?
	Keep a note of that.
	Samaya cabinet.
	$13,000 for that cabinet.
	What these people do, I'll tell you in a second.
	Samaya is a girl that actually went missing not too long ago, just months ago, and in Ohio.
	What they do is when they're selling these children on these sites, they hide it and they make astronomical prices for cheap goods and they change the names exactly like you're seeing here.
	Same cabinet.
	Different name, different price.
	How's that possible?
	Yuritza storage cabinet.
	Yuritsa is also someone, as she dug, 16-year-old girl who went missing on June 10th, 2020.
	This could be coincidence, but it seems a little odd.
	Annabelle Wilson went missing May 13th, 2020.
	She's 14 years old.
	And we have a cabinet here called Annabelle 5, $10,899 for what appears to be a shitty cabinet.
	Same cabinet as the first two, Kyla, different name, different price.
	And when we dig here, Kyla went missing January 25th, 2020 in Ohio, which we assume is the first one.
	Now, which is an explorer, we did that.
	It could be a money laundering thing where you buy that cabinet from yourself for $12,000, and now you have a receipt.
	Yeah.
	So where'd you get your money from?
	Oh, I sold a cabinet.
	They don't ship that to you.
	Why would the names be there?
	Maybe these guys made money child trafficking and they're that arrogant?
	Obviously, no one believes that there's a kid in there, and when it arrives on your door, you unwrap it and a little kid comes out.
	No.
	But I'm looking at an industrial, heavy-duty, 52-inch with 15-drawer, deep combination, tool chest, and rolling cabinet, satin matte black.
	Built by Husky, will last forever, $848.
	So I know you guys come here for the news, and I don't have an answer.
	I don't know what the fuck's going on, but I'm glad people are asking questions because I don't trust the authorities anymore.
	The way that the justice works now with Roger Stone and Proud Boys and all that shit, I don't trust the justice system at all.
	The only way these mysteries get solved is with guys like Alex Jones and 4chan and you.
	All right, let's get to the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Okay.
	Is this from Austin.
	My dad almost got fired.
	Hi, Gavin, and president of the fag zone.
	That's nice.
	My dad was telling me the other day about how he had to defend himself from an anonymous hate crime.
	He explained he was on Facebook and was having a discussion on some of the BLM movements.
	I always think of bowel movements when people write that.
	And ridiculous new executive orders here in Ohio on mask wearing when some random started commenting on how he was racist and how he was going to beat his ass.
	With my dad working at a huge steel distributor, he was called by HR and asked about a story of when he was working and yelled at a group passing by him racist names and gestures.
	Can you guys learn English, please?
	Like, I shouldn't have to translate your emails from English to English.
	With my dad working at a huge steel distributor, he was called by HR and asked about a story of when he was working and yelled at a group passing by him racist names and gestures.
	What?
	When asked about it, my dad said, how did this person know my name?
	And they said it was on his uniform.
	Crazy thing is he doesn't wear a uniform with a name tag.
	So in deeper investigation, they found that it was a hoax and squashed the problem and moved on.
	But in discussions with him and realizing how real this could be, he took his job info off Facebook and is doing it over on Parlor.
	Thanks for the entertainment.
	Great addition to the website.
	Thank you, Austin.
	Good luck with your English lessons.
	And you didn't give us any information there, by the way.
	We don't know how they found it.
	It was your dad.
	We don't even really know what yelled at a group passing by him racist names and gestures means.
	Good afternoon, guys.
	That made me hot under the collar.
	Hey, Gavin Ryan.
	Hot under the necklace.
	This video has me laughing my ass off.
	It's one of those Boston Dynamics robots, but they trained it out to shoot.
	This is scary and hilarious.
	It's better not be fake.
	No, this is fake, because it's Bostown Dynamics.
	You can always tell a fake video to with the extra camera shake?
	That's like an After Effects program?
	So that's DBI, of course.
	gunshot
	Okay, that's not that funny.
	We've already seen that joke.
	Hey, Gavin Rydu, my favorite homosex.
	You're 50% right.
	There's only one homosexual in this show.
	I would just like to say that Ryan is one of the best things that has ever happened in the show.
	All your old videos are great, but when I listen to him, I keep thinking Ryan's going to chime in and the two of you will exchange woody banter, but then he doesn't.
	And then I'm sad.
	Plus, we don't have any of his amazing video drops.
	Please interject Isa Fat here.
	I know you have discussed this before, but in the intro, it deaf sounds like McGinnis, not McInnes.
	You should redo it.
	And my suggestion is live from New York.
	It's Gavin and Ryan.
	He's still the best, Gavin.
	I still want to make love to you like a pool boy.
	Love Jennifer Tennis.
	Ladies, please send nudes if you're sending letters, or at least a pick of you.
	I worked with that guy who said that.
	He does voiceovers for a living.
	And I had him do it about five times and said, no, you keep saying, say.
	And I was happy with that one.
	But maybe I shouldn't have been.
	That was like the best of the.
	Yeah.
	Live from New York.
	It's Saturday night.
	When Andrew W.K. was on SNL, we went with him.
	And the guy goes something like, I can't remember how they announced musicians, but he announced it as, and coming up next, Andrew KW.
	No way.
	That's funny.
	How did you?
	Oh, that was with the rock.
	Was it?
	Yeah.
	Pretty cool.
	It's so boring seeing SNL Live.
	Really?
	You can't get up to piss.
	That's stinking.
	You can't drink.
	Hey, Gavin, my wife and I just welcomed our first child into the world.
	But a month ago, the day he was born, there was a BLM protest outside the hospital after a black psych patient was shot by security.
	So we're well aware of the weird world that our son is coming into.
	My concern is how to educate him on the realities of the world without hindering him in a world controlled by the woke mob.
	Do we just teach him to keep quiet or otherwise be socially ostracized?
	We've looked into Catholic school, but it's just so expensive.
	I'd also consider getting together a local group of parents and doing homeschooling.
	Each parent can take a day and the curriculum could be normal and traditional.
	Yeah, don't ask me questions like that.
	What am I going to control your children's lives now?
	I'm not an authority on that, but I think homeschooling is healthy.
	There's cheaper Catholic schools and you just got to keep fighting.
	Like, it's especially bad with teenagers.
	I can feel I'm losing my daughter.
	Not like she doesn't like me, but I think she's believing that racism is a thing.
	She told me now, like, all the popular kids in her class are racist in her school.
	And I was like, no, they're not.
	She wasn't saying that like it's a good thing.
	She was saying, fuck them.
	They're racist.
	It's like, no, honey, I don't know them, but I'd lay money they're not.
	Like, show me evidence.
	They made an inappropriate joke.
	So that's concern.
	I don't think it's really an issue with younger kids, especially boys.
	But yeah, when your girl starts being a teen, you got to keep fighting it.
	And of course, homeschooling, I think, is a great way to do it.
	You don't want your kids to be ostracized, but you don't want them to live a life where they're not themselves.
	You know?
	Like, I live in a very liberal community, pussy hats everywhere.
	I've got my MAGA dads.
	I've got my groups.
	And I even know times in certain bars where I know I'll look at the bar and they'll be majority MAGA.
	And so you find your little thing.
	So if he's a MAGA kid in a liberal area, he doesn't have to wear the Trump hat Every day, but eventually, if he's himself, he'll find his little group.
	That's way better than not being yourself.
	You know, the key to happiness is to surround yourself with people you can be your most yourself with.
	The more you are you, the happier you are.
	So don't torture your kid by telling him to keep his mouth shut.
	As we know at the end of every episode.
	But we've come to the end of the show.
	Long show.
	Mondays always are.
	But I want to show you a video of Will Smith.
	I don't know if you know this.
	This is really weird.
	About a month ago, I saw Will Smith say, my biggest mistake in my life was letting my marriage fall apart.
	I guess his first marriage deteriorated very quickly.
	And I thought, oh, that's kind of cool.
	You don't often hear black men say, my biggest mistake was losing my first wife.
	I like to hear that.
	I'm a pro-dad guy.
	I love family.
	And then about a week later, this big project came out called Fatherhood.
	And I thought, oh, you were doing laying the groundwork for your fatherhood project.
	And then a month later, it comes out that his wife's been boning this rapper guy who's like 20 years younger than him.
	So he's been totally humiliated.
	And that's the problem with being that famous.
	When you get cucked, the whole world knows.
	And here is some footage of Will explaining the scenario to his uncle Phil.
	You ain't got to do nothing, no Phil, you know?
	Hey, this ain't five years ago, you know.
	Ain't like I'm gonna be sitting up every night asking my wife, when's August coming over, you know?
	Who needs him, right?
	I had a couple trash movies, right?
	Wild, Wild West, that was garbage, right?
	iRobot, that was a sub-part movie.
	Okay, 7 Pounds was born, right?
	Right?
	But I did Bad Boys 1, Bad Boys 2, I Am Legend.
	Hey, August is 14.
	When I did Pursuit of Happiness, he's 21 years younger than her.
	To hell with them!
	So good.
	I ain't need her then and I don't need her now.
	Now, you know what, Uncle Phil?
	I'm gonna do Bad Boys 4 without her.
	I'm gonna do I Am Legendary without her.
	I'm gonna do a C D. I'm gonna do a whole bunch of songs.
	It'll be the best CD there ever was.
	And I sure as hell don't need it for that, because all she's going to do is throw Tupac in my face in front of my kids.
	laughs
	How come she don't want me, man?
	That's amazing.
	That might be the greatest thing that's ever been.
	Wait, what is the last thing you said?
	There's Mount Rushmore.
	August never wore hats, nigga.
	August was right?
	August never wore hats, nigga.
	Oh, man.
	That's fucking great.
	Oh, I'm crying.
	August never wore hats.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.

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