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June 9, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:43:20
S02E172 - THE DEATH CULT [2020-06-09 - S02E172 - THE DEATH CULT]
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David Guetta.
I believe he's German or something.
And he's totally rocking out with a Zoom rave.
And this time, he totally gave a shout out to the Floyd family.
Peace, Floyd family.
I like how they say George Floyd won't be there to see his daughter graduate.
Would he have been?
I mean, they're not married.
Yeah, that's not helping, guys.
You're not helping.
The people that are mad about this, I'm just going to break down the numbers.
20% are black people who have a bonafide beef.
And when I say bonafide, I mean they've been told a false statistic and they believe it.
So their hearts are in the right place.
They're good people.
They're just wrong.
Cops are not.
There is not a problem with police brutality in this country.
The black people you hear about that get shot by cops are committing crimes.
They have guns.
They're attacking cops.
And we'll get to the details of that shortly.
20% are Karen's and rich white girls and just posers, students, silly kids that think they're part of something.
They're not.
Wait a minute.
Was this moved over before?
I think this was here.
Yeah.
It seems blasphemous to cover up a picture of Vietnam.
You know how I got that picture, by the way?
Hmm.
Vice used to have these photo editions with a photo issue.
And I would get all my favorite photographers to send me a print and I'd scan it and send it back because these prints are valuable.
But guess what little Gavi would do?
The old switcheroo?
I would scan them and then take them to a photo place and print them.
So I have like $10,000 worth of prints that I'm not supposed to have.
That's pretty awesome.
Yeah.
Jerry, Sue, Ryan McGinley, Terry Richardson, this weird Vietnam guy that you can't see, I guess.
So that's 20%.
They're just silly kids.
Wannabes, I called them, right, the other day.
And then there's the Antifa that are there just to commit violence.
That's what we're up to 60%.
And then 20% are, well, I mean, we've already broken this down.
We broke this down on the Adirondacks issue.
Are just there because they want free shit.
So you only have one tiny percentage.
And then there's the Karens at the end.
Add that up to 100 anyway.
But you only have a small percent that are there for good reasons.
And they got the numbers wrong.
So this whole thing is a fucking waste.
I'm sick of looking at ours.
Bunch of shit.
It looks like a fucking, I'm trying to kiss their ass.
I'm not doing that.
I want Trump over here.
Maybe moving a little bit.
Sorry.
After our looting edition, we had to redo the shelves.
A lot of people asking for free shit.
Yeah.
Like people are sending in their shoe sizes to us.
That's a joke, right?
I don't know anymore.
Because a couple of people have asked things so dumb that now I feel dumb because I don't either get the joke or...
Read some of the emails.
Okay.
This is from Jeremy.
I need 10 and a half Jordans any color will do.
Now get it, bitch.
Okay.
I think that's a joke.
this one um sour warhead hey Ryan I wear a size 12 to 13 depending on the shoe smiley emoji what else he got Josh that doesn't seem like a joke no neither does this one 9.5 and then he sends us a dress and then says you look like the mythbusters guy if you wore a beret joke no that I think the only funny part the only part that he intended to be funny was the you look like that guy this guy's sending an actual shoe he'd like
So let me just get this straight, people who are serious.
Is that an Off-White dude?
Yeah, yeah.
I really like Off-White.
Yeah, they're cool.
Let me just get this straight.
Yesterday, when we had Louis Vuitton bags everywhere, we stole those, and we regularly steal from department stores to such a point where you can send a list?
Don't isolate that for anybody at home.
Is that what's happening here?
I hope that's a joke.
I hope I'm being dumb by not getting it.
we had Taco Bell before we came here I didn't clean off the desk um Speaking of that, Ramona shit her pants.
Did you know this?
Ramona's the one I watch Real Housewives of New York occasionally because it's the only way to get laid if you're married.
You watch your wife's shows and you comment on them.
She's a bitch.
And it's the way to lay a married woman when she's your wife, you got to take her out of the mom because that's a woman who cares.
And you have to fuck her brains out and slap the shit out of her or whatever you guys are into.
It has to get kind of rough.
So normal intimacy, that's like incest now.
If you're just like, hey, kiss and hug your boy, right?
Tuck him into bed.
Now kiss and hug me.
No, that's gross.
So you need a break to separate the mommy love and the loving your husband.
And the best way to do that is a show.
And then she's reminded of why you guys got married.
You feel the same way about a lot of stuff.
And Ramona's a bitch, blah, blah, blah.
So anyway, I'm watching the show.
And Ramona's hitting.
Ramona is the drunk one who's always drinking Pinot Griggio.
That's her there.
So she's hitting on the, she's 60 years old.
I remember one episode where she goes, I think I might be pregnant.
I haven't had my period in two months.
Yeah, it's called menopause.
You're 60.
That's her.
So she's wearing those white pants and she's hitting on some 40-year-old.
And there's this girl, Leah McSweeney, who's new on the show.
She brings her sister on, who's hotter than everyone.
Maybe you can look her up.
Leah McSweeney and her sister?
Just put in Leah McSweeney's sister.
And it was kind of shocking because you look at it and you go, oh, wow, actual hot chicks on this show for a change.
Oh, maybe I got her wrong.
Yeah, that's Leah McSweeney.
But where's her sister?
Anyway, sorry.
The 60-year-old Ramon is hitting on this 40-year-old, which I guess is considered gross in the 60-year-old community.
I'll tell you when I get there.
I would think if I was 60 and I was hitting on a 40-year-old woman, people would go, that's really cool, man.
That you're not hitting on a 22-year-old.
You're a real feminist.
And I'd be fucking her going, thanks a lot, man.
And as she's doing this, right?
She shits her pants.
Apparently, this is a common thing with her.
What did she say?
Oh my God, you're embarrassed by my sister?
So this all started because Ramona said, I don't want her sister here.
She's trashy.
For entertaining you all at that boring dinner party.
I was embarrassed when you pooped your pants the next night at dinner and were still prancing around trying to flirt with drunk married men with soiled pants on.
Alyssa Elaine was my witness, but she was being a good friend and trying to distract me from your shit state.
Wow, when women come after each other, you got to watch it.
Men are just like, never talking to that guy again.
He's a bitch.
He's a pussy.
He's X'd.
But when women, you cross women, they tell the entire world that you shit your pants.
And here's the part I was saying to my wife.
Here's the part I don't get.
I've shit my pants.
As that, Brett, who's that Brett someone, the baseball player who shits his pants?
Remember that old cherry?
What's the matter with my brain?
That old gold nugget?
What do you call?
George Brett.
George Brett.
But what do you call it?
That old chestnut.
That old chestnut.
Where he walks up to these guys and he goes, shit my pants last night.
Good for those about once a year.
What about you guys?
And then he proceeds to tell the story.
This is my favorite clip probably in the world.
He farts.
Maybe he just went to Taco Bell.
I shit my pants last night.
I did.
Hey, go back.
I talked over it.
He goes, Party, shit in my pants last night.
I shit my pants last night.
I did.
I did.
Went out and had a great meal.
Just a great fucking meal.
I had to go to the bathroom, so bat in the car.
I had fucking shit in my pants.
I wasn't...
*crash*
Tell the story, Ben.
I'm good twice a year for that.
Oh, twice a year.
When's the last time you shit your pants?
Been a while?
I was in Vegas a couple years ago.
Just an honest to God, true story.
Staying at the Bellagio.
I went over to the Bellage for dinner, met some friends of mine over there.
Went to Kokomo's great little steakhouse.
The guy brings out some fresh crab legs.
Jesus came in.
I've got to give them to you guys.
I'm eating them.
Then we go play gamble a little bit.
Tea time early in the morning.
So I said, look, I got to get going.
I'm walking back to the hotel.
I get three-quarters of the way out of the lobby.
And all of a sudden, I go, oh, fuck.
And I'm standing here like this.
I got my butt pinched so fucking.
I'm fucked.
I can't move.
All of a sudden, you know, Delta right, I went just like this.
Water.
Did you hear what he said?
Water.
I take one step.
Water.
Delta right.
I went just like this.
All you trans women who are becoming men, you're now men, trans men, you better get used to a lot of shit talk.
Because this is just under half of what we talk about.
Water.
Just fucking water.
And the funny thing about the way when men talk about shit is the other men aren't giggling or going, ah, they're all like, dude, been there.
Water, yeah.
So what did you do with your pants?
Like, it could be as serious as car repair or as seeing a horse get hit by a truck.
All three things are like, my God.
So what are you going to do about it?
Anyway, Ramona pooped her pants.
Here's a fun clip.
I'm kind of mad at Jack Bisobic.
He put this up.
Oh, this is her sister.
He didn't give me a shout out.
This is one, too.
What are you talking about?
This is her sister, right?
Sarah McSweeney?
Nope.
Damn it.
Oh, maybe it is.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
It is.
That one was.
Look at her.
Look at the supreme one.
Go up.
Oh, it says thuggin.
Oh, thuggin.
Yeah, that's her.
Look at that.
You don't often get a chick that hot on Real Housewives, which is why they were so bitchy to her.
But here's the rule, ladies: if you have shit in your pants, don't throw stones.
Don't throw stones from shit houses.
From outhouses.
From outhouses.
Anyway, check out this thing from Jack Bisobic.
Thanks for not tagging me, dude.
I know I'm not on Twitter, but you could have said just Gavin or something.
10,000 Australians.
Maybe I'll get off the grass, please.
Sure, let's just move back for a minute.
Hey guys, I've just received that.
Yeah, please.
He just told the Prime Minister to get off his line.
It's all good.
Thanks.
So it's the projects that count.
It's the projects that count.
10,000 Australians.
Sure.
Let's just move back for a minute.
Yeah.
All right.
I talked to Mercedes last night.
I said, is there anything I can do to help?
I put stuff in her commissary, you know, write her letters, but she goes, yeah, nuke this place.
Just blow it up.
We were coming back from court the other day and I was all shackled.
My ankle chains are just handcuffs.
So the chain is this long and it hurts my ankles.
It's made for wrists.
And I'm coming back to the jail and I'm just looking at it and it's got plywood on it because they're worried about riots.
And I just thought, just nuke this place.
Just blow it up.
She's including herself.
And apparently, if you've had this allegation of child porn, you can never have custody of your kid, innocent or not.
The fact that there's been a charge, you're done.
So she's never getting her daughter back because of this lie.
And I think the husband, not the husband, sorry, the ex-boyfriend who's the father of her kid already regrets it because he didn't realize that there's parenting involved.
He likes to go to Europe for six months a year.
He didn't really see the girl that much.
And now he's a full-time dad.
And I think he's going, oh, man, I can't go to surfing.
And he ruined, destroyed all those lives.
Like he destroyed Mercedes' husband's life, destroyed Mercedes' life, destroyed the little girl's life.
Anyway, I said, don't give up the fight.
Don't let the bastards get you down.
She goes, they already won.
I lost my daughter.
I just want to die.
I have no money.
They've emptied my bank account.
Kill me.
And then she started, she was a little, then she started talking about how she'd like to be reincarnated as a Mongolian because Mongolia is the only place that's still free left in the world where you can ride your horses and have guns and live in a yut.
And I go, but you have to eat like a lamb's eyeball up there.
The food they eat is disgusting.
And she's like, fine, I'll eat a fucking lamb's eyeball if I can be free.
I took away her child with a false allegation.
And Santa Barbara is the only county in America where you can be thrown in prison just on hearsay.
Zero evidence.
You just get your daughter to say something, make up a story, and that's it.
Tell her that you'll give her a car, or she can have an Xbox if she says this story.
I came across this clip, by the way, speaking of Donald Trump.
Oh, sorry.
Before I abandoned Mercedes, I just couldn't help but think that MAGA is involved.
She was pictured, and I was talking to her about this, and she's like, I don't leave anything out of the possibilities.
I'm not being very articulate today.
I'm forgetting all my colloquialisms.
Maybe it's the bell.
She's like, I'm open to anything at this point.
And she talked about how she was pictured with Stormy Daniels about a week before she was arrested.
And she goes, I hate Stormy Daniels.
She's a stupid bitch.
But I was just posing with her as a troll, as a goof.
And that's when my shit really started.
Oh, there she is.
Yeah, she thought this was funny.
And that's when her life fell apart.
So it could just be the boyfriend, the baby daddy.
Could be Deep State.
Could be both.
She talked about this guy that she was reading about who had a genuine child porn syndicate where he made child pornography, had hard drives full of it, had raped little boys.
You know what he got?
Three years.
That's less than the Proud Boys.
Anyway, let's try to keep it light at the beginning of the show.
I saw Andrew Dice Clay talking about Donald Trump.
This is an oldie but a goodie.
A lot of issues to be discussed, but the first thing the press asked me was, will Andrew Dice Clay be at the MPV Award?
Well, it depends what they pay.
You should have to want me there.
I'll be there, you know.
I mean, I'm pretty busy now.
You know that.
But you'd like to come?
Yeah, sure, why not?
You wanted to perform in one of Donald Trump's venues and there were some problems.
No, no problem.
I don't know what you heard, but Donald, you know, we're very close friends, me and Donald.
Well, I meet those kind of people now, and what happened...
But he wanted me to come to his birthday party, and I couldn't beat this.
I just sent the videotape.
It was the head of the party.
Yeah.
No, that's the truth.
I heard something, you know, else backstage, but that's the truth.
Yeah, what I was told was that he didn't want to perform in any of his places.
Let me tell you something about that.
He fixed my sister's roof a few weeks ago because it was leaking.
He's a great guy.
You know, no matter what they say, I mean, I see him on the cover, they rip him apart.
Donald Trump is here to stay.
He's a great guy.
And whenever somebody's on top, they look to knock him down.
That's the way it is.
That's the way it is.
Wait, why did you stop?
Is he done talking about Trump?
This clip is from Foundry Music.
You know, I've seen your act many times.
Okay, that's not.
You're right.
You're right.
From Opie and Anthony.
I was listening to Howard Stern on the way here, and it was a 2015 clip.
Back from when you could be funny.
And Caitlin Jenner called in.
I couldn't find it online.
I found an article about it.
But Caitlin Jenner calls in, and no, sorry, Bruce Jenner calls in and says he's being terrorized by Caitlin Jenner.
And Caitlin Jenner orders him around all the time.
And she's making him cook and clean.
And then Caitlin grabs the phone.
Meanwhile, it's the same person, obviously.
And goes, who is this?
It's Howard Stern.
And he goes, oh, fucking talking to Bruce.
Bruce threw a spear 39 years ago.
Big fucking deal.
And then Bruce Jenner's like, help, help in the background.
And then they start wrestling, Caitlin and Bruce, the same person.
And then they start getting horny for each other.
And Howard is like, who am I talking to right now?
And they go, both.
And then they start fucking each other.
Which is Caitlin putting her erect penis into her own butthole.
Oh, my lord.
Wow.
I remember that.
That was pre-Trump when you could make jokes.
Stern.
And also, 2015 was no utopia.
You still couldn't do anything racial or religious.
You couldn't make fun of Islam or Judaism or blacks or Asians.
But at least trannies were still on the table.
I don't think you can do trannies anymore.
The only thing that's left now is kids.
And I've talked about this before.
I watch SNL and they don't touch any group.
Every group is off limits.
Every fucking group.
Even Hillbillies and Rednecks now, I've noticed.
That used to be the, you used to get a free pass, even then, because they realize that's a big part of their market.
Fat people also can't make fun of them.
So now it's just kids.
So you watch a show like this, which, by the way, looks like the worst fucking show ever made.
This is Quibby, where they spent $2 billion on a whole new concept of television.
It's, what is it, 10-minute episodes?
Yeah, very short clips.
Very short, five-minute episodes.
You can only watch it on your cell phone.
It's for the Gen Zs.
$2 billion spent didn't work.
We already have YouTube, thanks.
They're already using TikTok.
Quibi has failed.
They lost $2 billion.
And this is what they spent some of their money on.
This might be why they failed.
Is this glitter?
Are you cheating on me?
I have a sex doll.
Did you do what?
Say!
I'm having a nervous breakdown.
My boyfriend's sex doll is talking to me.
And I have news for you, babe.
We're all sex dolls until we topple the patriarchy.
That's great.
You're a feminist sex doll.
I think she represents a part of you that wants to heal you.
Embrace her.
Don't jump!
I have pee anxiety.
Can you, like...
He's like 14, so I'm seven.
So not only is it revolting and hard to look at, but they make jokes about seven-year-olds fucking 14-year-olds.
Which again, I would be fine with if we were offensive across the board.
If there was Archie Bunker stuff, black jokes, Polak jokes, Jew jokes, and you threw in a pedophile joke, I could stomach it.
It's when that's the only thing, this one sore thumb sticking out, that it gets fucking revolting.
Hey, my shirt is thumb colored.
Yeah, it is.
Do you have this in thumb?
Speaking of child abuse, let's have a whole child abuse segment.
I probably should have made this a green screen.
Okay, imagine it's a green screen, folks.
We're going into a new segment called child abuse.
Child abuse.
Abuse your kids.
So we are at war.
There's a war on children going on in this country.
And we're seeing this with the protests.
You've all seen this before.
We talked about this.
Was it last show?
No, 1-6.
Remember yesterday we were talking about this girl with the bullhorn?
She's been trained to say something, and she's bawling her eyes out.
And that woman with the Black Lives Matter shirt on is like, say it, say it.
Say that we can't live in this racist society.
As she cries, says, everyone's racist and the police are out of control.
We need Black Lives Matter.
Bawling her eyes out with the pressure.
And she's repeating, obviously, what her mother told her to.
Her mother's using her as a fucking tool.
And that's not uncommon.
Okay, we don't have to show that because we showed it yesterday.
But check out this.
You've seen this too.
This is a kid getting pepper sprayed.
And we're supposed to feel John Oliver would go, look at that, excessive false on a national scale.
Why did you bring your fucking kid to a riot?
Why did you dress up your kid like Antifa?
You fucking piece of shit.
Why is that person not arrested?
Like, people are circulating this clip as evidence that the police are out of control.
I want to fucking pound him.
I've been pepper sprayed.
It kills.
And the reason the police use it, probably, is it totally reboots your hard drive.
Like, you don't know where you are.
You can't move.
It's not just eye pain.
It's like someone unplugged you.
Really?
Like, you just go, I kind of want to get pepper sprayed.
Okay.
I'm happy to pepper spray you.
Do you have something?
No, I don't have.
Not on you, but could you make that?
I think I have some, yeah, at home.
Holy shit.
I'll do it.
Well, the other fear I had when I had it was I didn't know if it was acid and I was permanently disfigured.
It feels like it's melting your eyeballs?
You can't tell.
And when I went to the bathroom to wash it off, which takes like 900 gallons of water to even start to be able to seal, I tasted pepper on my lips and I just went, this gorgeous visage is preserved.
Also in child abuse, we have this man who is crippling his daughter for life by telling her that she could be killed for being black.
Oh there we go.
Look at him.
I could die from the color of my skin.
You fucking asshole.
You know what's funny about that, the systemic racism, is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So now she has this shitty attitude: don't get educated, don't become an accountant.
No one will hire you.
You're black.
Live in fear.
Remember that caller we had who grew up with black grandparents and no parents?
And he had nightmares about the KKK when he was a kid?
I saw that was trending on Twitter, by the way.
Designate the KKK as a terrorist organization.
Okay.
Okay.
How about we kill every person in the KKK?
Would that make you happy?
All 30 of them?
Okay, fine, here.
Now will you shut the fuck up about this non-existent group?
The KKK.
I had a bartender say that to me at the duck.
I said, antif are the paramilitary wing of the DNC.
They go to Trump events and attack people.
They come to my events and attack people.
And he goes, yeah, but the left has the same problem.
They have right-wing guys that come and attack people.
And I assume Proud Boys is coming.
And I go, oh, really?
Who?
And he goes, KKK.
The KKK are going to a Hillary Clinton talk, galloping on their horses with their hoods.
Attacking people.
You're retarded.
Here, I'm still with the child abuse.
This definitely should have been a green screen.
I'm very annoyed with myself.
Here is a brainwashed girl yelling at her dad.
Now, I saw this on Chelsea Handler's Instagram, and it was a, you did it, you rock girl.
If you were my daughter, Chelsea, you can tell, by the way, is constantly lamenting the fact that she let her ovaries die.
She won't shut up about it.
She's like that comedian who got divorced.
And what the fuck is her name?
She's kind of pretty.
Brown hair.
Her eyes are far apart.
She was favorite, Jen Tillman or something like that.
And she was on drunk history a bunch.
Anyway, her whole thing is like, I love being single and marriage sucks.
And I'm actually really glad I'm divorced.
And you go, okay.
You doth protest this too much.
John Quirkman?
John, Jen, Jen Quirkman?
Jen Tillman?
What the fuck's her name?
Anyway.
I'll figure it out.
So listen to this brainwashed kid.
Yeah, Jen Kirkman.
Jen Kirkman, yeah.
All she talks about is how I like being single.
I'm not old.
My ovaries are not drying up.
And I don't care that I got dumped and I'm divorced.
You know how you find that?
How?
Divorced comedian.
That's her brand.
You know how many times I sit on the show and go, I'm glad I'm not gay.
I don't even want dicks.
Ew, they're so gross.
If the most beautiful dick in the world was sitting here right now, I'd be like, no, thank you.
And I would hit it out of the way.
If I said that every day, you'd go, this weird old fag is grossing me out.
No, thank you.
Gross alert.
Ew.
Can you believe they put it in their butts?
It's like, I wouldn't even want it in my butt.
I'm really glad I don't play hockey.
I'm glad I don't have to carry around my gear and go to the icy rink and ugh.
And you got to get a group of friends.
I dare a motherfucker to come in my face.
Okay, listen to Miss Brainwashed.
Can you hear that fucking shit beeping?
No.
Can you shut your mouth for a minute?
No.
Because I actually work in the ghetto.
I see the people.
Do you know why they're in that position?
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
She's saying to her father, who works in the ghetto.
So I assume if you work in the ghetto, you're not a social worker or something.
He probably does like, he probably works for Con Ed or something, and he fixes like blown transformers, which probably happens all the time over there.
And she's sitting there saying to someone, she's never been to the hood, by the way.
And she's sitting there saying to someone who actually is in the hood, do you know, do you understand how they got there?
And her contention, I assume, is that they're in the ghetto because of racism.
They were out there.
Systemic racism forced them into the ghetto.
My dad was born in the ghetto.
He got out.
You know how?
He busted his fucking ass.
You don't need to bust your ass to get out of the Bronx.
You need to get Cs and occasionally attend class.
No, shut up.
No.
Can you shut your mouth for a minute?
No.
Because I actually work in the ghetto.
I see the people.
Do you know why they're in that position?
Do you understand the systematic and historical reason for why they're in that position?
They don't care.
All they want to do is be ghetto.
No.
Yes, there's no.
It is good people.
All they want to do is be ghetto.
He's talking about a specific part of the ghetto.
And she's saying, no, you're wrong.
Go back.
No, shut up.
No, why'd you keep going back to the beginning?
Because I actually work in the ghetto.
just goes back to the beginning let me go full screen Yes, there's some and there's good people.
Most of them just want to suck off the system or do something bad like drugs or gangs.
And that's all they do.
They have been oppressed.
They have not been given the same opportunities you have had.
No, they don't.
He goes, yes, they do.
And there's plenty of black people that take advantage of these opportunities.
He's not being racist.
He's criticizing the part of the ghetto that is determined to stay there, which is a thing.
Third generation welfare.
That's not a victim.
And you not recognizing that as an issue is the reason why it's still continuing today.
I see him all over.
There's all the most successful people that are of color.
It doesn't matter what color, brown, white.
But it's a lot harder for them to get to that position.
It doesn't matter when they do, they're fine.
But there's always filthy animals in that.
You're calling people of color black animals.
You're calling them animals.
Are you kidding me?
You didn't let me do this.
That's not okay.
No, no matter what, that's not okay.
No matter what, it's not okay.
Racism is not okay.
Why do you think that racism is okay?
Oh, that's mine.
Billy, I'm going to look at.
Look at the shit eating grin, too.
She's like, yeah.
And by the way, we're living in cancel culture.
She could get her dad fired from his sanitation job.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep going.
Is it over?
Can't.
They can be warped.
Statistics can be warped.
You want me to show you videos?
Do you want me to show you videos of cops?
I will do it?
Why is statistics wrong?
Because they can be warped.
I'm not giving statistics right now.
They can be warped.
Personal experiences can't.
No, because this is.
He just told you about personal experiences.
Your personal experience is watching videos.
Here, go back to what the mom's saying.
Statistics right now.
They can be warped.
Personal experiences can't.
No, because this is actually putting it into play.
Do I need to show you a bunch of videos of cops attacking protesters?
Peaceful protesters.
Listen to this.
This is the number.
You mean I'm informed and educated?
You're not, though.
Yes, I am.
You're not.
And Maz.
This is America in a nutshell.
Everything wrong with America.
They say, do you want me to show you videos?
All these riots are from a part of a video.
I'm going to show you in a second George Floyd resisting arrest, picking a fight with cops.
This is a guy on fentanyl.
Actually, we just jumped to it now.
Well, let's finish this first.
He's on fentanyl, a downer, heroin, and meth, an upper, cocaine.
At the same time, he picks a fight with cops, which is what you're doing when you resist arrest, and he had a heart attack.
But you saw the knee on the neck, and that became asphyxiation, and that became global rioting, screaming, no justice, no peace, before we even had a chance to assign a court date.
And all the air clips that you see online start with the cop shoving.
You don't see what led up to that, like the old man.
Like, I just sent you this after the notes, Ryan.
Remember that Muslim chick who got shoved?
He called her a fucking bitch, which she is.
He shoved her out of the way.
She fell down, really hammed it up, right?
That officer's getting charged now.
They were evacuating an area.
She walked up to him.
And in her words, she goes, all I asked after he said we're evacuating, all I did was say why.
I just asked why.
You don't get to ask why in an evacuation.
So she marches up to him.
Hey, why does everyone have to leave?
He shoves her out of the way, which is protocol.
That's his training.
And he's getting charged.
This is why I always say you can hate authority.
You can hate the justice system.
But the cops are down here with us.
Believe me, if I had any sway, I know tons of cops.
I have zero sway.
I couldn't get a parking ticket removed.
I can't get license plates read for me from my guys.
I couldn't do shit for Max and John.
Nothing.
And every time I'd ask, I'd ask for information even, other stuff, they'd all just go, I don't know who you pissed off, but they're going to throw the book at those boys.
And they did.
So the cops are down here with us.
Like the DA talking about that cop who shoved that chick.
What does he say?
Go back to that article.
It really summarizes how the cops are down here with us.
Let me scroll down, scroll down.
Stop, stop.
Brooklyn District Attorney Eric Gonzalez announced the charges.
This is it.
This is it.
Fuck the police's boss.
I fully support the long-held American tradition of nonviolent protest.
As district attorney, I cannot tolerate the use of excessive force against anyone exercising this constitutionally guaranteed right.
It's not your right to question an evacuation.
It's police procedure to get everyone out of the area.
Why don't you say that next time there's a fire and the fire department says, get out, get out.
Why?
I mean, the fire's way up there.
Okay, let's get back to this brainwash kid.
Ignorance for the majority is bliss.
Ignorance for the minority destruction.
This is just pure wrong information out there.
Just give me the statistic.
In 2017, 457 white people were shot to death by the police in the United States.
Okay.
223 were black.
76% of the population is white.
13% is black.
If they were being killed at the exact same rate by police officers, the rate of black people being killed would be 8.9.
Listen to your statistics, you stupid fucking bitch.
The number of blacks shot by police was slightly less, and they represent, yes, they represent a fraction of the population.
They also represent a disproportionate amount of crime.
About 7% of the American population is black males, yet black males are about 50% of violent crime.
So the only statistics that matter are not people sitting at home, not a black guy sitting at home watching TV, not a black person going to the grocery store, which is what you've taught that little fucking girl, you cunt.
You've taught that little black girl that she's the same as a gangbanger.
No.
The 7% who are in, and so wait a minute, 7% of America are black males.
So the ones involved in crime is a fraction of that.
So within that, that's all that matters is the percentage of the 7% that's up to crime.
Why does it smell like fucking pipe tobacco in here?
Oh, I got a shipment of pipe tobacco and I brought it to it.
No, but I'm smelling it stronger now.
Did you smoke a cigar in the studio or pipe?
That's the only stats that matter.
Anyway, go ahead.
If they were being killed at the exact same rate by police officers, the rate of black people being killed would be 8.9, but it's not.
It's 24%.
The rate of white people being killed should be about where it is.
So they're being killed at a higher rate.
There's more white people involved in violent crime.
Amount of people killed by cops who are white would be higher.
The reaction of the person.
I'm not saying it's right.
They're tired of being treated.
I'm not saying it's right.
Good.
But if they started teaching them that this is the world that we live in, you don't want to be killed.
Why do you think your friend's father taught him that?
Because his black son doesn't end up dead like Tamir Rice.
Because he doesn't.
Tamir Rice.
Just pause.
Tamir Rice was just an innocent little boy playing with a toy gun, a little nerf gun.
Psup, soup, psew.
And the police came and shot him.
No, He had a pellet gun that looks exactly like a real handgun.
He was aiming it at people, threatening them, and trying to rob them as a 10-year-old.
I forget how old he was, maybe 11 or 12.
And then the cops get a call.
There's some kid with a fucking handgun.
What the fuck?
So, cops are brave enough to risk their lives to go and to answer this call.
They go over there, and the kid points his gun at the cop.
It looks exactly like a real gun.
Like, in police training, they say if that's a real gun, you got to shoot.
And they say, put the gun down, put the gun down, put the gun down.
He refuses.
This is not a little boy playing with a hula hoop in the park.
And when you portray it like that, little boys go, I'm playing with a hula hoop.
Am I going to get shot in the head?
Fucking guns.
Him to grow up with the chip on his shoulder that no one leaves Black Son to end up dead.
Exactly.
That's not okay.
Why do you think that's okay?
Because why is it something that you're okay with?
Why is that a reality that you're okay with?
I'm okay with it.
But you are.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
So stand against it.
So stand against it.
If you're not okay with it.
Stand against it.
Post a black square on Instagram.
We all have to do our part.
Also, Google, I've seen this around.
Google white privilege.
Google systemic racism.
Telling me to Google stuff.
Okay.
Tell you what.
I'll Google that and I'll make the KKK a domestic terrorist organization.
Will you shut the fuck up now?
Stop carrying an illegal weapon.
When the black people in the ghetto stop murdering each other, I'll start caring about cops when they stop killing black people.
I'll start caring about black people when they stop killing cops.
You can go back and forth forever, Healy.
The numbers matter.
And we've been through the numbers a million times.
In violent situations, 10,000 arrests, three black men dead.
In violent situations, 10,000 arrest, four white men dead.
Nine unarmed blacks killed every year.
Two where they were not attacking cops.
Their officers are facing charges.
All right, final thing on the child abuse.
Look at CNN.
Sorry, Sesame Street.
Brainwashing our babies.
Do you know how fucking young you have to be to watch Sesame Street?
I've been through Sesame Street with three separate kids.
Around, I would say like three and a half, four, they start going, this is gay.
Not even childish, right to gay.
Yeah, they're just like, Elmo's annoying.
It's basically for three-year-olds.
One, two, and three-year-olds are watching this.
Daddy, Elmo doesn't understand.
What's happening?
Why are all these people together?
Because they've been brainwashed by CNN.
They're gathering together to protest.
Protest?
Elma doesn't understand.
What's a protest?
Oh, a protest is when people come together to show they are upset and disagree about something.
They want to make others aware of the problem.
Through protesting, people are able to share their feelings and work together to make things better.
They make signs like this.
Love, justice, and salary.
Yeah, I'm bringing this sign to the protest at the community center later.
They look upset.
Are the protesters sad?
Yeah.
They are sad and upset.
And they have every right to be, Elmo.
People are upset because racism is a huge problem in our country.
No.
Racism?
What's that?
Oh, racism is when people treat other people unfairly because of the way they look or the color of their skin.
Why do they have a disproportionate representation of violent crime?
Why is 7% responsible for 50% of violent crime?
Why do 20 black men die a day at the hands of black men?
Hey, it's for arrest.
Don't resist it.
Puppies are on the stand, Daddy.
Elma has friends with different types of skin.
Oh, and fur, too.
Black, green.
Mam actually races towards red-furred puppets.
Of course.
I like blue, like Cookie Monster.
I know.
Mo, but not all streets are like Sesame Street.
On Sesame Street, we all love, we all respect their privilege.
Sesame Street is a place of privilege.
It's fur privilege.
Across the country, people of color, especially in the black community, are being treated unfairly because of how they look, their culture, race, and who they are.
Why don't these races treat Indians worse or Asians if they're racist?
If you're a white supremacist, you think the other races are shitty.
So shouldn't Asians and Indians be doing badly?
What about Puerto Ricans?
What about Puerto Ricans?
What about Polynesians?
By the way, speaking of CNN, we'll jump ahead here.
Did you see this awesome cartoon where a cop shoots an innocent black man?
35?
It's an actual movie I sent to you.
Okay.
What show is this from?
Who's there?
Oh, shit.
Drop the gun, motherfucker out!
No, not my dick!
Oh, thank God it wasn't my dick.
Man, that was embarrassing.
Good thing no one was around to see it.
No, not my dick!
No, not my dick.
The words of yet another innocent black man shot by a cop.
More on this explosive story after these messages.
We're here with Paradise PD officer Gerald Fitzgerald, who made national headlines when he shot an innocent black man.
Oh, This is funny.
Let me clear this up.
I accidentally shot myself.
So, what you're saying is, you, a police officer, no, keep going, shot an innocent black man.
I mean, technically, yes, but you see, I was the black man.
Oh, so now you're changing your story.
That's what you cops do.
Hold up now.
Why are you attacking me?
Same reason that black thug attacked you, because you're a cop.
As far as I'm concerned, you're a hero.
He's not a hero.
He is a racist.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm not sure.
So, speaking of getting the story wildly wrong, Enrique Tario, the chairman of the Proud Boys, sent me a picture this morning.
And it is a proud boy, white supremacist, they're one and the same, apparently, going through a crowd.
This is 2-5.
Yeah.
It's a proud boy going through the crowd shooting at protesters.
Update on the shooter and the victim in Seattle protests.
It's been confirmed.
It's been confirmed.
The shooter was one of the proud boys.
Look at this fucking freak, by the way.
Mary Angela M. Abio.
She is a mutant.
Sean King retweeted this, of course.
We have to get the word out.
They want the proud boys to be guilty of this shit so bad, which is why I'm convinced Charlottesville was entrapment.
I think it was a false flag.
Anyway, sorry, it's not a great image.
I had barely stepped out to a dirty window when this happened, but here's one image of the man brandishing a gun after shooting one man below in the arm.
Shooter was wearing an ironworker's hoodie.
Okay, so they go off on this, go to 2-7.
So they, wait, don't go to 2-7 yet.
So they go on this rampage to prove he's a prow boy.
Then they find he's an ironworker.
Then they work his ass off to get him canceled, to get him fired.
And the story is that the protesters were there being peaceful.
Hey, we shall overcome.
Just like on Sesame Street.
He comes plowing in, kills a bunch of them, then he pulls out his gun.
Why power?
I'm a proud boy.
Shoots one.
And then runs behind the police who stand in front of him and go, good work, dude.
Fucking kick their ass.
That's the narrative, right?
And it starts with these radical, ugly, stupid bitch, feminist, weirdo lesbians with shaved heads and neck tattoos.
Then it goes to an intermediary like Sean King, and then it leapfrogs its way up to like the Huffington Post and then slowly makes its way to CNN.
So these loser, radical, dumb bitch cunts are on CNN.
That's where they're getting their information from.
And that poor girl, that brainwashed girl saying, this is not okay.
She's going to get that info and spew it back at her parents who are going to go, oh, really?
I didn't know that there's a group called the Proud Boys that shoot at protesters.
But then the story starts falling apart.
We see a picture of him, and it turns out he's black.
By the way, I said to Enrique, please tell me this isn't true.
He goes, of course not, dumbass.
First of all, it's a black dude.
That's the guy.
All right?
Louis J. Gomez.
Louis J. Gomez.
And then look at Twitter.
Sorry.
I couldn't show you the Twitter earlier because I didn't want you to know he's black yet.
This is 2-7.
So they discover he's black, and then they give up on white supremacy, right?
How dare he cross out black, white, brown, human?
I've even seen people bitching about that.
They say, we can't afford to be colorblind right now when one color is in serious danger.
Okay.
Well, you can keep perpetuating that myth if it makes you feel good about yourself.
So scroll down to all the retweets.
It's all about canceling him, calling his union, getting him fired, bragging.
what are you doing?
It looks like more of a case of reckless driving than terrorism.
He got attacked by post- Oh, that's someone being honest.
Look at this.
Yo, if this dude actually is a member of the ironworkers' unions, we can get him expelled and basically blacklisted from every union ironworking job, probably.
That becomes their goal.
And all this, by the way, involves sitting on your ass.
That girl that was screaming and saying you have to do your part, she doesn't go to the hood like her dad does.
She just sits on her ass and looks at videos.
What do they tell us to do to fight?
Google.
Go Google something.
All right.
So then we actually see the video.
Did I not include it?
Oh yeah, 3-0.
Here's what actually happened.
He's trying to get the fuck out of there.
They're putting cardboard on his car.
Use your shotgun!
Move away!
They're kicking at his car.
Your life's in danger.
By the way, you're allowed to plow through a crowd if your life's in danger.
And in Charlottesville, I'm not justifying Heather Hire, but the story was that Antifa, armed Antifa, had spooked him.
Listen to this narration.
You're going to love it.
Oh, God!
No!
No!
Stays down, slows down, gets attacked.
Window smashed.
Oh, God.
Wait a minute.
Go back.
Did they smash his driver's window?
No, it was open.
Oh, God.
Oh, no, no.
They're hitting the back.
So they won't get out of his way.
They've got that weird thing on the front.
Is that supposed to stop him?
I guess that scoops people if you try to hit them.
Rolls them over the front, but it's cardboard, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's a cow catcher, like on a train, but I think he made it out of cardboard.
There's no way you can't just drive past that.
That's what it frustrates me.
No, no, I think his rationale is if you try to run someone over, my cow catcher will roll.
Do you know what a cow catcher is?
Yeah.
It's the front of a train, this thing.
It's called a cow catcher because if there's a cow on the tracks, it'll push it out of the way rather than let it go.
It's like a plow.
Yeah, it's like a plow.
So he's trying to make a plow at a cardboard on front of the car.
Oh, Jesus!
Oh, no!
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
I don't know when he does this shooting.
Oh, he did it already.
It's when the guy comes up to his car, the red...
No!
Right there.
This guy attacking him.
Punching right there.
Yeah, I see it.
Let's show it again for everyone.
So it's punch, punch, punch, punch.
Oh, God.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God.
He slowed down.
Didn't hit anybody with the customer.
He's still smashing his car.
Yeah.
So he has to get out.
And this whole like ran behind the police and they protected him.
He walked over to the police with his gun like this, with his hands up, and he said, hi, I just shot someone.
This is a registered firearm.
Look.
His trigger discipline is superb, by the way.
It's way off.
You saw that picture that's still of him.
He's walking through the crowd.
His car is going to get torched.
Yeah, that must be a tough decision.
You just walk away from your vehicle.
Look, they're chasing him.
So from that, it becomes white supremacists randomly killing protesters.
This is the fucking gap we have in the news.
Radicals are dictating the news right now.
And they're lying.
Like, look at this.
3-2.
George Floyd.
Oops.
By the way, whoever filmed this, could you not have released this a little earlier, please?
Like, eight seconds after we saw the other video?
Could you turn it on?
No audio for it.
Is this the thing I sent you?
Yeah, yeah.
Deleted footage shows George Floyd resisting arrest.
There's even another angle.
I've seen another one.
I thought...
Jim Goad just sent me one.
His show's almost ready, by the way.
That's the one where he lays down, right?
Where you see him laying down?
I could locate that.
Here we go.
yeah that's the one i have on my phone Sit down.
No, I'm not sitting down.
Oh, sit.
Oh, fuck.
Go against the car.
Okay, just get in the back.
No, I'm not getting in the back.
Just, okay, you're not getting out for crying out loud.
Get here.
Get.
His meth heart is pounding through his chest.
Is this not picking a fight with the police?
If you're resisting arrest?
Like when Eric Garner said, this ends now, is that not picking a fight?
When Mike Brown reached for an officer's gun, was that not picking a fight?
When Trayvon Martin beat the shit out of George Zimmerman, was that not picking a fight?
When Tamir Rice pointed a gun, something that looked exactly like a real gun, in a cop's face, was that not picking a fight?
None of this looks even close to excessive.
I guess before they put him in the car, they're checking him, checked his legs.
The entire world is rioting right now.
None of this even matters because at the end of the day, they could just say, well, even if it's not about that, it's about every other one.
Okay, which one?
Mike Brown?
It just never ends.
Which one?
Amadou Diallo.
He had a plunger shoved up his ass, a broomstick.
Wow, that's terrible.
What?
Did the police get away with it?
No, Justin Volpe is doing life in prison.
Oh.
I'm looking.
I'd like some sound, please.
Look at this.
He won't get in the car.
That's what I heard, too.
They were holding him down on the ground because they had to wait for a paddy wagon because they knew that he was going to be kicking the plexiglass.
This is a CNN.
I assume this will be your top story.
Breaking.
Actually, George Floyd was resisting arrests.
Sorry, everyone.
Toxicology reports and autopsy say he was a bad boy.
I bet that's racist of me to show that video.
That's where we're at now.
If you don't comply, if you defend yourself like that iron worker, but if you don't comply with Black Lives Matter, you're a racist.
That's where we're at.
If you're not radical, and we've been talking about this for weeks, if you're not radical far left, then you're far right.
I'm always described as far right.
Probably as far right.
be far left is far right that's not true you have to comply what's this uh yeah like this one look at 2.8 that wolverine dude from the the other day he's charged with attempted murder what they're throwing rocks at his car he jumps out and says who did that what do you think was gonna happen when you threw rocks at cars you didn't expect a time-traveling redneck to come like
Like, if I'm throwing rocks at cars, I am 100% prepared for someone to come out with a baseball bat.
That's the thrill of being a bad...
We used to throw ice balls at cars.
We knew that we could get our ass kicked, and Brian Cook did.
An Indian man said, what are you doing?
So it's not your right to throw rocks at cars.
But the amazing thing about this arrest is that he's in trouble for defending himself.
That black-white supremacist is in trouble for defending himself.
What's this?
2-9.
Oh, yeah.
He didn't even swing at them, though.
Look, they keep chasing him.
And he doesn't even swing.
He didn't do anything.
He didn't attempt to murder anyone.
No.
Maybe brandishing a futuristic weapon.
He confronted people who put his life in danger.
When you throw rocks at cars, you're endangering the life of the driver.
And he confronted them, and they chased him.
Brandishing futuristic technology?
Maybe.
Look at this woman.
So they have this fucking young Karen screaming, black lives matter at drivers this is uh 2-9 and this woman just doesn't comply she says all lives matter that's radical that means you need to die listen to this bitch matter to you do black lives matter to you do black lives matter right piece of shit you little fucking killer fucking white piece of shit oh yeah you want to fucking go karen you want to fucking go, Karen?
You're Karen.
No!
No!
Until black lives matter!
Until black lives matter!
No life matters!
Black white yellow!
That is not our fight!
Until black lives mean something to this country!
No!
No!
Hipperspray.
Get her license, please.
What's the charge?
Hi, police.
Yeah, I was just screaming Black Lives Matter in a woman's face, and she refused to repeat my chant.
My radical leftist chant.
Don't worry, I blocked her vehicle.
Black Lives Matter!
Do Black Lives Matter to you?
So the solution that most people are doing is capitulating.
Orthodox Jews.
So in December, if you recall, in Jersey City, black people targeted a Jewish deli.
Six people ended up dead.
Two of them were Orthodox Jews.
We also had a shooting in Mosey, was it?
Upstate.
That was a man who hated Jews.
This was not a random shooting.
These are people who said, I hate Jews.
Then we saw, and we only saw it on Hasidic TV, Israeli television.
We saw blacks chanting, kill Jews, get the Jews out of my neighborhood.
This is, well, the bodies are still warm.
They're out there on the streets going, they come to our neighborhood.
They cause trouble.
We fucking hate them.
You see it all over the place, but especially in Crown Heights in Brooklyn, you see brutal anti-Semitism.
And it's not nuanced.
It's not like about Israel or Zionism or anything.
It's I hate fucking Jews.
Please don't take that out of context.
Are you trying to find an example?
Yeah.
Remember that woman?
And I broke this down.
There's, I have one on my phone, actually, this woman just screaming that she hates Jews.
But that's, you know, it's true.
You've seen that one.
But I explained before, Williamsburg is Hasids, and they get attacked by blacks, but it's just black brats with no dads who want to hit someone that won't hit them.
They do the same, hit them back.
They do the same to Amish.
But in Crown Heights, it's different.
It's like generic racism.
I think it's because they hate white people and they see that their neighborhood's getting gentrified and they see Jews as the ultimate whites, super whites.
They're the X-Men of white people.
So I have to get these Jews out of my neighborhood or my neighborhood's going to go Jew, white.
Same thing.
So look at this.
This is 3-3.
I sent you some pictures.
So that was the Jewish Delawai was December.
It's five months later.
And what do we have?
I saw that.
I just took a picture of the New York Post yesterday.
By the way, New York Post, can you just have URLs at the end of your articles so I can pull them up and email them to Ryan?
New York Post won't have that same title on New YorkPost.com.
So the way I have to find it is I look at the author and I look at their recent articles.
That's how I get the article.
Anyway, go back.
Why'd you leave it?
Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn say Black Lives Matter.
They've got it written in Hebrew.
And this is because they're scared.
They're trying to feed the dragon.
It's like a sacrifice.
The politically correct, political correctness has become a form of paganism where you have to sacrifice children to the gods.
That's what we did in our child abuse segment.
It's paganism.
They are sacrificing children to the gods.
And now Orthodox Jews are begging for forgiveness five months after they were fucking slaughtered.
I think a good place for them to start with social justice is to break up their misogyny and have some Shebrews in there, too.
Why is it going to be Hebrew?
Blacks don't appreciate this capitulation.
They don't go, okay, you're off the hook.
They don't like it.
They think it's weak and weakness is not cool.
In every community except middle-class whites, we're the only ones that embrace weakness and apologizing and kneeling.
It's bizarre.
I've never figured it out.
Maybe it's because I'm Scottish.
I don't have that DNA.
But what the fuck?
I like white men, the alpha ones, not the ones who be marching next to nakers.
I think that's how black people use the n-word when they want it to be negative.
I see.
Nakers.
I've never heard that before.
But this is all discrediting your enemies for not being radical enough and using racism as a tool goes back to the Frankfurt School.
And I read about this in Pat Buchanan's Death of the West, which I can't believe is not behind us.
That's a major failure.
But I sent this to you.
It's in a video.
It says it's from the Communist Party.
3-1.
Now, I get this as a tactic.
I just don't get why it works so well.
It's like if your enemies choose to be too annoying, call them gay and keep repeating it until it's true in the public eye.
Why does this work?
That's the real million-dollar question.
43.
The following directive was issued from party headquarters to all communists in the United States.
It read, When certain obstructionists become too irritating, label them, after suitable buildups, as fascist or Nazi or anti-Semitic, and use the prestige of anti-fascist intolerance organizations to discredit them.
In the public mind, constantly associate those who oppose us with those names which already have a bad smell.
The association will, after enough repetition, become fact in the public mind.
That's what happened to me.
I am factually a racist now.
Look at 3.6.
It's become a paganist cult.
Just stop.
The left has become a paganist cult that sacrifices children to their cause and is constantly sacrificing their own souls to this cause.
And this is Nancy Pelosi and the rest of the DNC staffers there.
Just pause.
First of all, if I was black, I wouldn't like African shit.
I don't like African shit.
Because I'd go, you fucking sold me.
Fuck you, Africa.
I'm glad I'm here now in a beautiful continent where I'm safe and free, safer and freer than I would be if I was still in Africa.
That's neither here nor there.
That took 650,000 men dying in a civil war to facilitate.
But Africa, it's like a deadbeat dad that wasn't around.
Africa sold you.
Yes, we bought some.
Out of, what was it, 10 million?
We got 350,000 from Africa.
Brazil got 3 million, a third.
So we got a tiny portion of what Africa was selling.
A trade started by Arabs, by the way.
So Arabs started it.
Africa was happy to facilitate it and sell them.
I don't want anything to do with Africa.
Fuck Africa.
It's nothing to be proud of.
Well, we were kings.
No, Egyptians were kings.
They look like Anthony Kumia.
Well, we were the Moors.
We ran Spain.
Yeah, the Moors were Arabs.
Northern Africans are not black.
Sub-Saharan Africa is what you're talking about.
And it's done nothing but harm blacks.
And it's still, in Liberia, you can go get a slave right now for $400.
And if I still ran vice, I would.
Okay, go back.
Check out the cult.
It's sickening and bizarre.
We will now kneel for a moment of silence.
This is what happens when you kick out Christianity.
A new religion is created.
Look at this.
It's kind of like Shri Law mixed with Satanism, and you have to wear a mask, stay inside, and maybe kill yourself.
Unless you like civil unrest and rioting.
That's not an exaggeration.
Just like yesterday when I said my take us down became reality, jokes are reality now.
There's no difference.
You want to be a stand-up comedian?
Just read the newspaper.
*Mumbling*
What the fuck?
Is that for George Floyd?
Or is it for the pregnant woman that he terrorized?
Acely Enriquez.
Look at that dumb bitch.
Remember, I talked to a guy I worked with her once and he said, you look into her eyes and it's like you're staring into the eyes of a dead goat.
They got that like cloudy glaze.
Just nothing.
I'll eat a can.
How fucking ridiculous can you get?
Oh, this is fast-forwarded too, because there was a hole of eight minutes, right?
Nice zoom.
Ooh.
I don't like buckle shoes.
It's bad look.
Oh, look, what's his name?
Can't kneel.
He's too much of a fucking gimp.
Shoe this Nadler.
Nadler?
He can't even take his mask off.
He wears a belt on his nipples.
This guy's getting bored.
He's like, all right, I don't gotta suffer for this.
I mean.
Yeah, I'm black.
I don't gotta kneel.
Thank you, guys.
That was great.
Look at her.
Wow, yeah.
Her eyes look like...
What's that little Betty Boop?
She's got Betty Boop eyes.
She's got Betty Boop eyes.
So the solution to all of this is just step back and get out of the way.
That's 3-7.
Why?
This is what Proud Boys are doing.
They're not going to any of these things.
They're not even guarding businesses.
Ayo, fuck Whitey.
Nazi Nazi.
This is what happens when you get involved in this in any way.
Wow, evil Nazi.
Get that Nazi.
Hitler is here.
I need backup now.
Police.
Now when you just sit at home and watch, AO, fuck Whitey.
Well, wait.
Then you have BLM.
What the fuck?
Plebs are confused.
Antifa terrorists to the bunker.
Police, I don't know what's going on.
This sums it up.
That's a t-shirt.
All right.
Should we get back to, before we go to the mailbag, let's, as promised, get back to John Oliver for a minute.
John Oliver is a pussy.
Donald Trump?
Donald Trump?
You're not supposed to put it on national television.
Donald Trump?
Why is a police force doing this?
A black man is more likely to be killed.
So yes, fuck off.
Stroke on a dick.
Right.
What you have to understand about John Oliver is they're like, he's a pussy.
He's a nerd.
He's a loser.
No one wants to fuck him.
But he's managed to get his own show by consistently asslicking the right people his entire life.
And he has a trait that you see in women and gays too, and it's agreeability.
He's agreeable.
He goes where you're going.
And nerds have that ability because they don't want to get the shit beaten out of them by people like me.
So they like what I like.
Hey, man, yeah.
Oh, it's Hate the Cops Month?
Okay.
I'll get my 14 researchers to research the living shit out of police violence and I'll just bombard the world with facts.
This has gotten millions of views, by the way.
I'll bombard the world with all these cop-hating facts and then I can be part of the gang and you won't want to beat me up because I don't know how to fight because I'm a weak fucking human being.
And it's sad, by the way, that assimilation from an immigrant like John Oliver requires shitting on America.
This is what we do to our immigrants now and our pussies and our nerds.
We say, shit on America or you're canceled.
You're in big trouble.
Okay.
Like they'd just been to Taco Bell.
All right.
So let's take another bite out of this painfully long diatribe full of bullshit stats.
Because all week, we've seen graphic videos, which are going to be hard to watch, of them driving directly into crowds, beating people with.
Okay, so he basically has the same IQ as that girl we saw screaming, and she's sitting on her ass watching videos.
This was a cop car where they put a barricade in front of the car.
They had been burning cop cars, flipping them upside down.
We have two cases of Molotov cocktails being thrown in cars.
One was an Antifa chick, and she got caught.
And the other was an upscale lawyer.
She was a fucking lawyer, worked at a prestigious law firm, and her and her black lawyer boyfriend, also at a prestigious law firm, another lawyer, were going around with Bud Light bottles with gasoline and rags in them.
Hers didn't go off.
And I have a funny feeling she's going to get off.
But anyway, so that's the scenario.
Someone puts a thing in front of your car.
You're a cop.
Accelerate.
Don't mow people over, but give them a get out of the way.
And that's what the cops did.
But they're just going to show that millisecond.
Yeah, that was the extent of it.
And then he stopped.
So right there, they stop.
And then they stop where he stops.
Yeah.
So they show the and by stopping when, right as he stops, the implication is that he kept driving and ran over all these bodies.
We won't show you that part.
That's terrible.
But keep, go back.
We're never going to make it through this thing.
I've seen graphic videos which are going to be hard to watch.
Don't give me away.
driving directly into crowds, beating people with sticks, and sometimes assaulting the right to assemble with shocking speed and barbarity.
Prematurely shooting people?
Prematurely using excessive force?
You're scaring your ass on somewhere.
Yelling at riot cops.
Not backing up.
Not backing up.
Looking for a fight.
They just picked a fight.
And I'm sure police procedure says when you're in a riot situation and someone starts being provocative, that is the linchpin that is going to start a major riot.
So put out that fire.
Nip it in the bud.
Excessive force.
They were just peaceably assembling.
Turn up.
What the fuck?
I got exactly what I asked for.
It's genuinely impossible to overstate how enraging that is.
They're protesting excessive force by police, and the police just start pepper spraying them like it's fucking sunscreen.
And that's just one of hundreds and hundreds of videos.
And we're taping this Saturday morning.
Who knows what was happening?
Just pause.
You know what's really going on here?
Like they talk about how blacks are one in a thousand blacks are likely to be killed by police.
Yes, that's true.
But when you just sit on your ass and Google and look at videos from your living room in Midtown, John, you don't realize that a large percentage of blacks are involved in very dangerous criminal activity.
Nine unarmed blacks are shot by police.
All the other blacks who were shot by police were carrying guns and they were involved in crimes.
You know how many fucking cops get killed by police?
What is this?
Black men make up roughly half of all murderers and 40% of cop killers, yet account for only 24% of those killed by police.
Seems to indicate that police are going easy on them.
Is that graph there?
Look at this.
Matt Palumbo was helping me out with this.
Jason Riley wrote, in 2016, African-American Harvard economist Ronald Fryer released a study of racial differences in police force and police use of deadly force.
To his surprise, he found no evidence of bias in police shootings.
His conclusions have been echoed by researchers at the University of Maryland and Michigan State University, who in a paper released last year wrote, we didn't find evidence for anti-black or anti-Hispanic disparity in police use of force across all shootings, and if anything, found anti-white disparities when controlling for race-specific crime.
And, Matt pointed out, that shooting of unarmed blacks has gone down drastically in the past five years.
It's gone down 75%.
And by the way, the stop and frisk shit, I assume he's going to have to get to.
Bloomberg made the mistake of telling the truth.
And he said, we actually looked into the data on these stop and frisks, and we discovered that as they're represented in the crime stats, they get frisked about the same.
But I think more importantly, they actually discovered that whites get stopped and frisked more than they're represented in the crime stats.
See, just the race and the number doesn't mean anything.
You have to take into account what they're doing.
Yes, trannies die at an alarming rate.
They're also drug addicts who fuck gangbangers.
Show those stats?
So this is the victim and the suspect and the arrestee.
And you see that it all pretty much evens out.
Look at the American Indians.
0%.
So 55% of the time the victims are black.
61% of that time that suspect is black.
And he gets arrested 54% of the time.
All right, go back to John.
Boy, we're really creeping through this John Oliver video.
...by Sunday night.
Maybe they'll be using grenades, even as the New York Times weighs in with an op-ed titled "Why We Need to Bring Hitler Back to Life as a Robot Right Now." They just think it's valuable that you read that point of view.
I mean, they didn't, but they think that you really should.
And look, by the way, you know what he's talking about there?
No.
Senator Tom Cotton did an op-ed in the New York Times, and he dared to defend police.
This is in a sea.
The New York Times is a sea of shitting on cops, shitting on cops, shitting on cops.
Is he black?
Maybe just look.
Maybe I'm wrong.
It's not Tom Cotton.
Yeah.
So he did an op-ed that he said, send in the troops.
The police can't handle this.
This is rioting.
We need the National Guard, which is just a fact.
And the New York Times was eviscerated for daring to have this.
And as we see, John Oliver decided to change this story into, we need a robotic Hitler, because that's funny.
It's always funny to throw Hitler into your argument.
That's how the left sees things.
So if a left-wing newspaper has one conservative viewpoint once, then it's Hitler.
Isn't it distracting how my shirt and my hands are the same color?
That is a little freaky.
It's weird.
We're not white.
We're pink.
Pink lives matter.
People would think that I mean gays, and I go, no, look at me.
I'm pink.
I'm pink.
The musician.
I Was sitting at home shocked by the scenes of police brutality?
I get it.
I'm white too.
But it's worth remembering, that's the tip of a very large iceberg.
Oh, really?
It didn't start this week or with this president, and it always disproportionately falls on black communities.
Because here are some hard facts.
Okay, Minneapolis, where George Floyd was murdered, police use force against black people at seven times the rate of white.
Hey, John, what are said black people doing?
What are the white people doing?
7% of the population, 50% of the violent crime.
Seven times more sounds actually good.
That sounds like it's less than the represented in the crime stats.
So that's a bullshit fact.
Keep going.
Black Americans are two and a half times more likely than whites to be killed by police.
Because they're more involved in crime.
We have this.
Remember, African-American economist Ronald Fryer analyzed this and saw no bias.
Keep going.
One in every thousand black men can expect to be killed by police.
Pause.
That is true.
That is a fact.
He's right.
But why?
What are the black people doing in those situations?
You know, I stumbled upon this because I was watching that, I've told you this a million times, but that Alicia Keys thing where she goes killed for having a traffic light, for having an indicator light out.
And I thought, I'm just going to start looking these up because they give you this big pile of names and they go, look at all the dead black people.
And you go, fuck.
But then I started just randomly selecting names and I would read up on the case, which by the way, you got to plow through a lot of bias.
You got to get through HuffPo, New York Times.
Eventually you get to a site and you go, oh, she slapped the cop in the face and said, kill me, kill me, 13 times.
And then she reached for his gun.
Oh, she was unarmed.
That's true.
But she didn't want to be.
Okay, go back.
If you're black in America, I can't even begin to imagine how scared, angry, and exhausted you must feel.
Not only that.
He's taking blacks who behave badly and lumping them in with all other blacks.
Hey, black people who have a job.
Hey, bus driver.
Hey, nuclear physicist.
Hey, mathematician.
Hey, garbage man.
If you are following the law, there is no chance of you getting killed by cops.
Cops are not going to shoot you because they think you look like a suspect.
You have a yellow vest on, you're doing sanitation, you're good.
I know you read about a lot of dead black guys.
They were up to no good.
Do you understand the difference here?
We are brain, this is racist.
We are brainwashing black Americans into thinking they can get shot going to get groceries.
And remember, she was wearing a Motley Cruise shirt.
We used to show this clip a lot.
It was at the Dallas protest.
Don't look for it.
You'll never find.
And she was saying, I could get shot going to the grocery store, just going to get something to eat.
I could get shot.
No.
Maybe in the hood, you might get an accidental fire from a drive-by.
But no.
I can't believe I have to say this.
Cops are not hunting black people for sport.
And yes, one in a thousand blacks are murdered by police.
That's because a lot of blacks are involved in a lot of crime.
John, you have a pretty major hole in your story.
Heather McDonald is great, by the way.
Oh, that's the book I was remembering.
Fuck.
Woohoo!
I thought, I gotta remember to buy and read this book.
What is it called?
This was in 2017.
I know.
She did a great book about police brutality and all the stats behind it.
I think it's her most recent book.
War on Cops?
Yeah.
That's my next read.
Isn't it funny, by the way, in New York City, if I was seen reading that book, that is a provocation.
One time someone was reading my book, Death of Cool, in class, and there's a picture of it in it, of me when I was singing for that punk band Anal Chinook, and I had a swastika on my chest that was crossed out.
Nazi skinhands were a big problem back then.
And the teacher said, put that book away.
It's triggering me.
I don't like to see the swastika.
And the kid goes, but it's crossed out, and we're doing reading time, and you're allowed to choose what you read.
Not that.
Okay.
All right, let's see if we can handle a little bit more, John.
And this week's terrible budget.
Constantly.
Medical groups say police violence against black and brown Americans is just one of many physical and psychological factors that make racism a serious public health issue.
And look, clearly, the police are just one part of a much larger system of racial inequality.
But for tonight, we are going to focus primarily on them and try to address three basic questions.
the fuck we got to this point what the obstacles to reform have been and what we can do going forward and let's start by just acknowledging that the police have long enjoyed and exited can The basketball equality in this country is deplorable.
It's wrong.
I don't know how the fuck we got here, but we need to change it.
We need shorter people in the NBA.
Also, the Fields Medal is the most prestigious award in mathematics.
Yet, blacks, I don't think, have ever received a Fields Medal.
That has to change.
That is your fault.
You need to sit on your ass, look at videos, and Google stuff.
This is unfair.
This is wrong.
You're looking at systemic basketball racism.
It has to change.
It has to change.
Exalted role in American society.
In pop culture, they're the heroes Of beloved movies and TV shows like Cranky Gun Grandpa and Cocaine Cops Who Fuck and Manic Bigot and his one black friend.
America loves nothing more than a renegade cop who doesn't play by the rules.
But of course, the reality of that.
Yeah, you know why?
Because we see all these cops hampered by red tape and it depresses us.
We see that Mexican illegal immigrant who shot that woman in the head for sport get away with it.
We see immigrants get illegal immigrants who commit crimes get deported and then return time and time again.
We see criminals literally get away with murder and it frustrates us.
So when it's time to relax, we watch a movie like Dirty Harry.
Dirty Harry, by the way, which I just watched, Grandpa Grumpy Fuck the other day.
And he was trying to protect a guy who was out to kill gays and N-words.
But he didn't go by the rules.
Yeah, that's why he killed about five people who just robbed a bank and we're trying to kill him.
And being good at it, if you will.
Policing is and has always been a Mel Gibson, what's his name, Sammy Glover, whatever his name is.
Danny Glover.
Danny Glover.
So that's a movie where we gave you a black cop and a white cop and made them friends and you call it racist asshole with his one black friend.
Like we can't even show you diversity without you calling it racist.
Different.
And it might be worth going through some of the history here because it's important to understand how deeply policing in this country is.
It's important to drag slavery into everything, even though that was hundreds of years ago and we had an American Holocaust stopping it.
620,000 men back then was the equivalent of 5 million today.
So we lost 5 million men, mostly white males, stopping slavery.
But somehow you managed to leapfrog over that major accomplishment, major fight for justice, and just sort of drag slavery through all those dead bodies and into the present day.
So frustrating when I see my daughter's homework and it's fucking Jim Crow and slavery and American Indians.
Entangled with white supremacy.
And I know you might be thinking, well, join the club policing.
This is America.
The only institution not deeply entangled with the history of white supremacy is Olive Garden.
And that's only because it's always been a powerful symbol of white inferiority.
But the police have not just been incidentally.
Do you love a black person to make a joke like that?
Yo, the only place you don't see anti-white bullshit is Popeyes.
And that's because it's an example of black inferiority.
Red Lobster.
Our annual visit to Red Lobster.
If a black person made that joke, everyone in the audience would go, fuck you, I like Popeyes.
Not one black person would go, I know, we so trashy sometimes.
They hear Popeyes and they're like, I'll eat your ass.
And they will eat it.
Over and over and over.
Yeah, yeah, we know.
All right.
Tainted.
Tiny bit more.
For much of U.S. history, law enforcement meant enforcing laws that were explicitly designed to subjugate black people.
Some of America's first law enforcement units were the slave patrols tasked with capturing.
Just pause.
That is the icing on the cake.
So because there were slave patrols in early America, that's why we have cops today.
What about all the cops in every other city in the entire world?
100% of the world has cops.
But our cops are linked to slavery somehow.
I don't know if I can do this every fucking day.
Okay, mark the time in case I get some sort of new level of tolerance.
And I'm going to cheat now and jump to the end because I heard he cries at the end.
Oh, yeah, I do want to see that.
All right, let's see.
So we may never return to this because this is like shooting fish in a barrel.
But jump ahead.
What are you doing?
I was going to look for somebody time coding.
No, no, no.
We can just skip around.
You'll be able to tell.
It'll be like the last 10%.
A little refresh now.
We lose internet.
We should do a montage of crocodile tears.
We've got the mayor of Philadelphia bawling.
We have Chris Cuomo, who is literally going.
He was making a sad cartoon cat face.
Oh, I'm sad.
And we're about to get John Oliver, assuming there's no problems.
We're having some buffering issues, are we?
Internet problems.
Are we online?
I'm online.
Uh-oh, we have to fill time now while we wait to see John Oliver cry.
Why are you offline if I'm online?
Alright, this is getting embarrassing.
Let me just make double shit.
Click on this.
Shit, I haven't updated my YouTube in a long-ass time.
Yeah, I'm online cooking in arts.
Maybe if you just research it.
Yeah, I did it in a different tab.
Here, I switched to the Wi-Fi.
There we go.
Because all week we've seen an even broader idea that's gaining momentum instead considering in excessive force complaints and some rebuilding of community trust.
And look, I'm not saying that it's been easy, perfect, or even that it would work everywhere, but it should expand our idea of what is possible.
One even broader idea that's gaining momentum right now is defunding the police.
Now, that's a phrase that I'm sorry for that.
It may sound acted upon.
Because it's going to be far too easy for nothing to meaningfully change here.
That is to feel better about the world.
To look at some broken, why the fuck do I give a shit about burning the fucking lucky that we're black people?
If he cries because of her, I'm going to laugh my head off because he would never hang out with that woman in a million years.
And if you put them in a room together, she go, so what's going on?
What you like a TV guy?
And he go, hello.
Uh, me, John.
Um, you like Mountain Dew?
Hello.
What?
Drinky?
Drink?
Ooh, here's sauce.
Saucy?
Saucy?
Are you a biggie or Tupac fan?
Because I'm more.
I love rap.
I used to listen to NWA.
Are you familiar with NWA?
Motherfucker got it bad because I'm brown.
I have many of the songs memorized.
Never should have been let out the penitentiary.
Oh, wait, why am I here?
I don't know.
Let's see her.
Let's see him cry.
That's our show.
Thanks for watching.
Good night.
Okay, wait, wait.
That can't be.
How about appropriating someone else's voice?
I couldn't have said it better than her.
So now I'm going to let her have the last word tonight.
How brave.
Thanks, John.
By the way, you're right, though, because at that NYU thing, me versus the Antifa guy, like the guy that pointed me out as Antifa, he was like, say Black Lives Matter.
I was like, all right, Black Lives Matter.
That's fine.
And then he points to this black woman holding a sign.
He's like, this guy's a proud boy.
He's a whatever.
And then she's like, shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
It was so funny.
I was like, haha.
She doesn't like you.
They're not your friends.
It was so funny.
As well as colossus.
He's not your brother.
He wanted her to be his pet so bad.
Yeah.
Look, get him.
Found one for you.
Let's see if this is.
I don't think he's going to cry.
Not directly.
Sorry, impacted by it.
It is tempting to look for a reason to inaction.
We're in the same shit now that we were in back then.
Rather.
If you're not directly.
Who's we there?
Sky.
I mean, uh, Brittie Boy.
Impacted by it.
It is tempting to look for a reason to feel better about the world, to look at some cops kneeling and think, oh, well, we just need more of that.
Told you not to kneel.
But we need so much more than that.
Because ours is a firmly entrenched system in which the roots of white supremacy run deep.
And it is critical that we all grab a fucking shovel.
To do anything less would be absolutely unforgivable.
Okay.
And actually, to that point, there is one person I saw this week whose words have been.
We're talking about my arms.
I was looking at videos.
And I saw one of the videos.
You saw Chelsea Handler's Instagram where a girl has also been watching videos.
We owe it to our black brothers and sisters not to actually live near them or have them in our schools or associate with them, but to watch videos on our iPads, in our living rooms, in our PJs, or maybe sweatpants after a Netflix bender.
We owe it to ourselves.
And luckily, Netflix is full of this propaganda.
So you can actually simultaneously go on a Netflix binge and raise awareness.
Watch the Central Park 5 documentary, I mean, drama called When They See Us.
Watch hidden figures that pretends that black women sent us to the moon.
Watch all these other black movies that propagate total and utter bullshit.
You're the fucking loser.
All right, this is a very long show.
Let's just briefly check in.
I'm going to let her have the last word tonight.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Uh-oh.
Oh, good.
This is from Ben.
Pelosi's photo op turned into a life alert commercial real quick.
And then he shows us, I assume this is the Doom cult.
Did someone fall?
Oh, I'm falling and I can't get up.
Because the heels.
No, no, no, because you're dusty knees.
Hey, Gavin Ryan, I tried sending John and Max some memes via JPEG and a bit of cash to help out.
I believe the cash went through, but the email memes I sent to John were rejected within less than an hour of me having sent them.
I sent them at 1 a.m. because I was up late.
What are the chances someone was up at a corrections facility approving and rejecting emails at 1 in the morning?
Does John have some automatic borrowing communications?
No, because I sent him pictures of Fred Perry's and Antifa logos for that drawing that we're going to be auctioning off.
So he does get pictures.
I checked on some directives New York has for communication with them meets.
The only thing I could think I could have caused rejection otherwise would be if they found the memes obscene or my bringing that BLM cured COVID because it apparently isn't a DNC talking point.
What do you think, Veronica?
I bet it was you saying BLM cured COVID because they saw that as racism and they have John and Max listed as members of a hate group, which the corrections officers don't believe, but I think some of the bureaucrats in the prison do.
They brought them in for questioning.
Blake has sent this in by the time we started the show.
I'm totally confused by these.
Me too.
And I feel dumb.
I feel like a- Because if it's a joke, you have to have something funnier.
For example, I text the guy from Parlor, the guy who started Parlor, John Matzy, and I go, dude, you are going to be so fucking rich.
In five years, you are going to get an offer that's in the hundreds of millions.
You're going to say no.
Two years later, you're going to get an offer for twice that.
So like $400 million.
Say yes to that because in 10 years, no one's going to use Parlor anymore.
And they'll be onto the new thing.
And then I started sending him all the stuff I want.
And it was, there's a Wes Lang Rolex that's one of the most beautiful things in the world.
If anyone out there wants to spend $80,000 on a watch for me, please do.
I don't even think it's available anymore, but it's like, it's got the Grim Reaper on it and stuff.
Oh, sure.
It's fucking beautiful.
That's the back.
No, that's not that.
Oh, that's the back.
Cool.
Yeah, so I sent him that.
A $60,000 to $80,000 watch.
I sent him a tricked-out new Range Rover, the Range Rover Discovery, which goes for about $100,000.
Now, those jokes are obvious.
And I also, I send him little details.
Like, I sent him this vintage Jaguar from the 80s I wanted.
And I was like, this picture is Forest Green, and I know that's the norm for Jags, but I don't like green.
I need it in black.
Obvious.
But when you send us your shoe size and a type of shoe, you're either not funny or retarded.
That is such a cool thing.
That is pretty nice.
My balls just tingled.
Like, fucking Eva Mendez once or having That, I would take that.
Sorry, Eva.
Ava, whatever your name is.
He's never going to forgive you.
Imagine she heard about that and was super pissed.
Right.
She called him to the show.
Hey, asshole.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm fucking Ryan Gosling.
Do you have a mirror in your house?
No, but I have a jaguar on my jaguar in my garage.
Hey, Gavinis and Rye, baby.
Thanks for being there in these troubling times.
Blah, blah, blah.
I've noticed that the LSM has started to point out that more protest signs are now handwritten.
Way to influence them.
Plus, those kinds of signs are usually badly executed and rife with spelling errors.
Thank you for spelling that right.
Hence, hilarious.
Blue Lives Matter.
B-L-E-W, who spelled it.
Also, I see Ryan, I put this on my parlor.
Someone wrote, I can't breathe, and they spelled breathe, and it's behind the mayor as he does a talk.
B-R-E-A-T.
I can't breathe.
Also, I see.
That's what I said.
Oh, okay.
Also, I see Ryan is coming into his own and riffing a lot more with less fear of well-deserved reprisal.
Last night I dreamed of oush hips and woke up laughing with a boner hankering for some pelvic tilt.
Thanks for calling.
All right.
We got to do one more because we're out of time.
This is from Carrie.
New stupid theory.
Stupid.
How can I pronounce it?
That's a New Zealand theory.
I like the kookies.
New stupid theory.
Gary's mealbag is actually get off my lawn 10 years in the future after the deep state completely controls America and lobotomizes Gavin.
Gary looks like a disheveled older Gavin.
Any thoughts?
Sincerely, a 2030 re-education camp prison mate.
That's a funny observation.
Cute.
All right, let's get to the end of the show.
I gotta go.
They're saying this is yet again one of Gary's best, by the way.
What?
They were saying that this is Gary's best episode again.
That's what they said about the last one.
It's getting better and better.
I haven't even watched it yet.
It's good.
Really?
Does he mention sex?
He smokes a lot of cigarettes.
He mentioned sex a little bit because somebody wanted him to rate women.
No, not women.
Excuse me.
He wouldn't even know where to begin.
Men.
Rate men.
Uh-huh.
And it's a lot of fun.
A lot of viewer submissions via video.
Send those to Gary.
No, mail.
Wait, what is it?
Mailbag at censor.tv.
Subject Gary.
Yeah.
Mailbag at censored.tv subject Gary.
And we really enjoyed those live videos.
Even though you send like 60 megabyte files, try to keep them small, folks, but they don't need to be very big for TV.
All right, let's get to the final video.
I'd like to dedicate a few of these to the unbelievably gorgeous YouTuber, Sandy Pal.
Her stomach is hypnotizing.
Oh.
There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight.
Yeah, baby.
I'm going to watch Tucker.
There's no reason that you should take me home tonight.
No, thank you.
I need a man that can subscribe to it so long tonight.
Yeah, baby, tonight.
I always criticize women for doing normal things like aging, but maybe we don't show off that weird belly.
It gets weirder too.
Look at the next one.
These all have like 133 views.
By the way, I was so horny as a teenager and I couldn't find a woman with a libido.
Now that she's 60, she's ready to rock.
I'm married, bitch.
Where were you when I was 15?
Look at the weird little...
And if there's any six-year-old woman watching, I'm sorry to be criticizing, but you don't shove your belly in my face.
This woman is like showing it off.
Turn it up.
I've never heard these songs before.
First one was Lady Gaga.
Oh.
This one I don't know.
You can tell those tits hang low.
I am what I am.
I don't want praise.
I don't want pity.
Okay.
I bang my own drum.
Something gets snarled.
Further uploads are leading two children into her house with breadcrumbs.
Okay, let's watch the last one then.
Obviously, as John Oliver pointed out, we're living in a horrible racist time that is exactly the same as slavery and the 1930s.
And John doesn't have great solutions to stop systemic racism.
I do.
And that solution is art.
And here is Sandy Powell, our pal, performing Ebony and Ivory.
I'm using her tits.
Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony.
Side by side on my penalty board.
Oh, Lord, why don't we?
Because you're a freak?
I have babies, though.
Yeah.
Wearing two bras to make that happen.
I didn't know that I could not like tits.
It's nice to see how a gay man sees tits for a change.
Gary vision.
This is Gary vision.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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