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June 1, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:26:32
S02E170 - MAILBAG CATCH-UP 2 [2020-06-01 - S02E170 - MAILBAG CATCH-UP 2]
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Live from New York, it's Get Off by One with Kevin McGuinness.
You take Sally, and I takes two.
There's no difference between the two.
Cocaine.
That was Jackson Brown.
Cocaine running around my brain.
Doesn't this bother you when you can see someone's print shirt underneath?
This is, of course, the, I feel like I'm a doad.
Every time I'm drunk, I think, I gotta send Dinesh one of these.
And then when I sober up, I go, why?
Why risk it?
I feel like I'm a doad.
This is gonna bother me and you the whole time.
So let's just not do that.
Let's just go with this look.
Okay?
State penitentiary.
Wouldn't be allowed jewelry in the pen, of course.
Speaking of the pen, you remember our old friend Mercedes Carrera.
She was a MAGA porn star.
Oh, by the way, this is catching up on the mailbag episode, so it's all mailbag all the time.
But Mercedes-Carrera is a friend of ours, and she became an enemy of the state by being pro-Trump.
She came on my radar when a porn star was gang raped in a home invasion, and no one gave a shit because she's a slut, and who cares?
And Mercedes made this video where she just fucking lost it.
And I was like, this girl's got oomph.
She's got spunk.
And so we became friends.
She's a regular guest on the Gavin McKinnis show at the Blaze.
They wouldn't allow her on.
No way, no porn stars.
I mean, we stayed in contact.
And then, what, a year ago?
SWAT teams break down her front door, arrest her for child pornography.
And the list of charges is alarming.
That's her there.
Yeah.
Let me see if I got her list of charges.
You're going to be pretty disturbed.
Where is it now?
Don't panic.
Don't panic.
I got it.
Wait, let's hear her, dude.
...utilized the world for their own personal and profit aims, claiming victimhood over emails and over comments on Twitter.
And here you have a woman who's a real victim of a real rape and a real assault and...
Those same women who claim that they care about women's rights have done nothing.
They have done jack fucking shit.
And that pisses me off.
And earlier I tweeted to Anita Sarkeesian and I said, can you help?
Radio fucking silence.
And you know what makes me mad?
And this is why I am so pissed off at modern feminists.
They claim to care about women, but when there are actually women in need, what do they do?
Fucking radio silence.
They don't give a shit about anybody but themselves.
Anita Sarkeesian has made hundreds of thousands of dollars peddling her bullshit, faux video, socially damaging crap.
So it's like oral copulation with a minor, anal intercourse with a minor.
This is all her daughter, who's like 12.
All this horrible shit.
So the police go there after hearing these allegations and they see a bed with cameras pointed to it and they see guns and they see meth.
And they go, we got it.
We just busted a child prostitution ring.
Holy shit, I'm going to become sheriff.
I'm going to get a badge.
I'm going to get a golden ticket.
And what it was was, her ex-husband, who hates her and shares the child with her, got into her head and basically brainwashed the child into saying all these things.
I actually don't even know if they have the child on tape.
This could just be him saying this shit.
And she had cameras facing her bed because that's what you do when you're a porn star.
You're constantly filming fucking.
And the meth, yeah, it's not good to have meth and guns, but a lot of people do.
And all porn stars do meth.
It makes the sex better.
I wouldn't be surprised if you end up doing porn because you did a bunch of meth and it feels good.
You end up...
Go nuts.
Anyway, we tracked her down.
I could guess I could put her address up.
Is that good or bad?
Yeah, why not?
If you want to contact her, it's Melinda A. Smith.
Do you want to just...
You'll put it in post.
So I'll send you a picture of that.
Melinda A. Smith, 1902340095.
Central Detention Center, 630 East Rialto Avenue, San Bernardino, California, 92415.
So her den number is 1902340095.
You can look up her charges with that, too.
Anyway, I knew they were bullshit.
There's an interesting article here about that nothing was actually found.
There was a tape that exonerated the, oh, that dismissed the gun charges.
And the powder was never tested in a lab.
And then also there were no physical evidence.
There's no physical evidence saying that the child was actually touched at all.
Right.
So this is an interesting article here.
Yeah, that's her new husband.
I guess her third husband, if you go to the top, he's a really interesting dude.
So we got a letter from her.
Ready?
First thing in the mailbag.
She includes a comic strip that has two cavemen looking at a meteor shower, and they say, I don't know how or why, but I know this is all your fault, Tronk.
Meaning, Trump, everything is Trump's fault.
Hey, while you're doing that?
I might as well just, so you don't have to do it in post, put up her address.
Okay.
So here we go.
The penmanship, by the way, is stunning.
Look how beautiful this is.
Again, with the dear Gavin, thank you so much for the letter.
It really is nice to hear from you.
Part of the Malov.
Malov.
I'm so stupid today.
Shut up, Ryan.
If I don't know something, you definitely don't know something.
Malevolent intention behind this absurdity is to isolate me from friends and supporters.
Of course, the initial press release from SBSD claimed things that were patently false.
Actually, in any other county in California, this case would have already been dropped for lack of evidence.
San Bernardino County is the only county in California that does take hearsay cases to trial, even if they lack physical evidence.
Here's something weird.
Isn't it funny how pre-Trump, I would hear conspiracy theories and roll my eyes.
And now even John McAfee, when we hear that his neighbor was shot after McAfee's dogs are poisoned, you go, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know if he's guilty.
But that's, Mercedes is a much more obvious case of an innocent person being framed.
And it's likely just revenge from her ex-husband, who she dumped.
But it could also be because she's MAGA.
Like Max and John are MAGA.
Roger Stone is MAGA.
MAGA's not good for people.
Flynn was MAGA.
I'm MAGA.
Laura Loomer.
Here's something weird, she says.
My second ex-husband, Dr. Lois Tran, is now the director for the Arrowhead Medical Center Emergency Services, which manages the infirmary for all San Bernardino County jails.
Isn't that a strange coincidence?
If I die of medical complications in here, it's easy to see who is behind it.
And then she writes in brackets.
He's still upset that I left him years ago.
As for being on the wrong side of the deep state, the great irony is I always figured I wouldn't be targeted in this country because of my political views, but they targeted me for my career instead.
Also, political hysteria thanks to Stephanie Clifford.
That's Stormy Daniels.
And then she has a picture of eyes rolling.
You make great points on Flynn, Stone.
I had made the point I just made to you, to her.
Flynn, Stone, eye.
I've been talking to Lonnie B. about Max and John.
What New York did to them is nuts.
Four years, federal?
That's harsh.
I've tried to call the number on your little, on your letter several times last night and this morning.
I'm only out of my cell three hours a day, so that let me know when, if is a good day, time to call.
I saw her number coming up, and I'm like, San Bernardino, nice try asshole.
That's another thing with this, like Antifa doxing you.
My friend can't contact me from prison because Antifa blew up my phone.
My ability to call during the dah blah blah.
Phone stuff.
All I get, I don't have email here, only a golf pencil and paper.
Yes, I need and appreciate any and all help you could provide.
This shit has destroyed me financially, as you can imagine.
I wasn't even granted bail for the first six months, and now it's at $2 million.
They stack charges to keep my bail absurdly high.
The bail schedule in this country is ridiculous, highly unconstitutional.
If you want to help me with commissary, go to touchpaydirect.com, site ID, and this goes for you too.
Buy her some ramen.
291739 and use my ID 190-234-0095.
I wouldn't be sitting here reading a letter of someone who raped a kid ever.
It's sort of like when Anthony Kumi was accused of beating his girlfriend and we all still work there.
If some guy was beating his girlfriend, you think we would work for him?
You think we would hang out with him?
And go, whatever, man, shit happens.
I guess your dinner wasn't ready in time?
It's sort of like when people say Gavin McInnis makes millions as a white supremacist.
How does someone like that live in such a nice home?
That doesn't make sense.
Yeah, you're right.
It doesn't make sense.
I'm not a fucking white supremacist.
Do the math.
Look at this, too.
DA drops drug charges in Mercedes-Carrera case.
The gun and the drug charges.
2019, August 19th.
Oh, good.
Now she's only got kiddie porn.
Which they said that there was a video of it, but there was no video recorded.
Otherwise, she would have been put up on charge of child pornography creation, which was never a charge.
So that evidence, if there was physical evidence of that, would have been another charge, but there wasn't.
So the charge stems solely on someone saying that Mercedes and her husband raped Mercedes' daughter.
Her testimony, which was all shoddy and didn't corroborate when she was on the stand and all this other stuff.
See, this is what I'm saying, guys.
You're apathetic about prisoners and prisons and all that.
It could be you.
Gone.
We got a guy who did seven years in jail for selling lobster tails out of bags instead of boxes.
Hillary Clinton said, I guarantee we will put this man behind bars before she knew who he was or what he had done with the Muhammad video in Benghazi.
Dinesh D'Souza, prison.
For what?
For encouraging people to make campaign donations?
What?
Something that everyone's done a million times?
Anyway, the list goes on and on.
I won't give you example exhaustion, but don't be apathetic about prisons because you are all one away.
Oh, you had more than two beers in New York State?
You had three beers and you're driving home?
Could be prison, depending on the mood.
Depending if your ex-husband is the head of medical services for your county.
I really appreciate the offer, and most of all, the letter.
It's been just awful being accused of hurting the one person I love most in this world.
I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, seriously.
And she had such a great relationship with her daughter, which is now ruined forever, I assume.
You know, what are they going to, she's going to come out and they're going to be best friends again?
So they took her daughter away.
Someone takes your kids away?
I mean, fuck.
Try it with a bear.
Take a cub away.
At least I finally had time to catch up on Russian literature.
You must read the Gulag Archipelago by Alessander Shelnitsin, which I'm reading right now.
And Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
There is no great loss without some small gain.
Affectionately, Melinda Smith, aka Mercedes-Guerrera.
So, first letter of the mailbag is from prison.
And I would encourage you to send her, drop her a line.
Write prisoners' letters.
It's like Christmas for them.
And one of the worst part of being in prison is feeling forgotten.
Anyway, this is the mailbag app.
So let's get mailbagging.
Frodo Baggin.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Isn't it amazing how if we had an HR and you were a woman, the incredible case you'd have against me?
Yeah.
Repeatedly, on a daily basis, they would tell me to shut up and point out that I don't have a father.
He called my house the fag zone.
He called me a homosexual.
He implied that I have a homosexual act.
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but you understand.
At one point, he suggested I blow him.
Actually, many, many times.
It's on tape.
He came into my house naked.
One time he woke me up with a homeless man in the studio.
One more thing here.
About Mercedes?
Yeah.
There was this case, apparently is a pretty publicized case.
The Friedmans of the McMartin Preschool, blah, blah, blah.
Capturing the Friedmans.
I'm familiar with the most famous documentary in the world.
But for those who don't know.
Like you?
Yeah.
I'm speaking to my people that don't know.
It was the most expensive criminal trial in U.S. history, and all charges were dropped.
And it was based on the same thing, right?
Okay, let's not start doing that, Ryan.
Because they could be guilty.
I don't know.
Like, I remember seeing that documentary, and it looked real bad for them.
And I think that old man had kitty porn.
So they could be guilty.
You don't lump cases together if you don't know them in and out.
Last thing I want to do is throw Mercedes an anvil while she's drowning and say, here's another case just like yours.
Hey, Gavin, curious to see if you've seen Letter Kenny on Hulu.
Fuck off.
Hey, JV, what the Biden's shirt is worse than Swalwell's.
Oh, shh.
I think he means shart.
And then that's at 2046.
Yeah, this is actually pre-recorded this episode, so this is ancient news.
No, don't show Letter Kenny.
That's fucking brutally ancient.
That's why I skipped over it.
We're doing the fart, dumbass.
2046.
States and local governments.
Firefighters, police officers, and cut critical health care programs.
Or stop work on roads and bridges.
That's a fart.
That's a fart.
I guess when you get that old, your farts give you no warnings.
Police officers and cut critical health care programs.
By the way, if I was Joe Biden, I think I would put like rolled up, folded up toilet paper on my anal lips.
If you were you, you would do that.
Yeah.
And you do.
No, I know when farts are coming.
I'm never surprised by a fart.
Oh, fucked.
It's from Jonah.
Watch this fid with a Karen man and a cop.
Hey, boss, here's a vid of a cop who gets pulled over by some entitled manlet.
So the story goes, the cop was running the plate of a blue vehicle that was speeding, and then this civilian hero decides to get the cop's attention.
Yeah, this is ancient fucking news.
Thanks, team.
It's from Joe.
Hey, G, I'm sure you've already gotten a bunch of these clarifications.
The black guy in the park threatened to do something to her dog.
He started recording Candace Owens, explains it pretty good.
Yeah, we'll talk about, we already talked about that.
Bill, there is a word I can't say.
If I said this word, a particular group of people would pretend to be so insulted they would lose control of themselves.
They would do violence and possibly even murder.
The rest of society pretends that this is legitimate behavior, even to the point of forgiving the insulted individual of violence and possibly murder.
This is a very disturbing construct, social construct.
Before I learned what freedom really is, I participated in this social construct.
Now it just feels gross, like I'm telling a lie, a really stupid lie, like Ryan tells.
I'm not dumb, and I don't want to feel dumb by participating.
Try using this word on a sleazy loser white guys.
You can see their face.
They're completely flummoxed and then extremely insulted.
How dare you?
Yeah, it really is weird.
It's the bigotry of low expectations.
Like, look at the news.
We've got the cops.
Looks like they murdered a black guy.
Entire city is in flames.
Riots.
Cop cars turned upside down.
Destroyed.
Then we see a video much, much more disturbing, I'd argue, of a black guy with a long history of racism beating the shit out of senior citizens, possibly to death.
Where's the riot?
And the irony is a lot of this censorship and the media hides this because they don't want to incite violence.
No, they don't want to incite a type of violence.
They don't mind Ferguson.
They think that's cool.
They thought the Arab Spring was cool.
Lara Logan thought it was cool until she stepped a little too close and got gang raped.
Dear G-Dog and Rye Guy, I recently came across the worst Instagram account of all time.
The account is EverydayGirlDad, and he says he's exploring what masculinity can mean.
Apparently, that includes constantly posting pouty faces, talking about himself all day, and trying on his wife's dresses.
I'm not kidding.
So today I wore a dress for a bit because why not?
And it felt as nice as I thought it might.
Doing things you want can take decades.
I understand that.
But that doesn't mean we should give up on ever hoping we'll do them.
He's talking about putting on a dress.
I hope you get to do some of your things because they have so much value.
They are important to you, and that makes them super important to me.
Oh my god, this guy is brutal.
He's gay.
Your husband...
I want to just...
So you may want to have a plan B. That's his hand.
I find this particularly galling because he looks like all my friends.
Like facially.
Without the mopey, pouty lips.
Without the pouty lips, like that sort of Irish drunk face.
How do you lay down gay?
Ugh.
This guy's the worst.
He's like, he sort of shows you how gay isn't an insult anymore.
Look at that creepy picture with his daughter.
Hello.
Is he wearing?
No, the other one.
Yeah, that one.
Is he wearing eyeliner?
He sure is.
He looks like a predator.
Oh, I tried it on brawn panties.
I have the perfect body for it.
Yes, I wear lingerie.
Wait, wait, I want to keep reading that.
The perfect people to support me in wearing it, the perfect lingerie brand for me, and have always wanted to wear it.
So here is my 41-year-old body, the way I want to show it right now, the way it feels good for me to express myself right now.
I don't feel guilty for feeling sexy like this.
You should.
Look at your fucking gut.
He's kind of sucking it in.
He's kind of sucked in beer gut over his lingerie.
By the way, when you have a young kid, it's not normal to be that self-obsessed.
I can't show my kids on Instagram.
I can't even have Instagram.
But if I did, most of the pictures would be of my kids.
Kevin, I know you're thinking he's pretty.
He's not handsome.
He's pretty.
I'm not handsome.
I'm pretty.
Just to get it.
You're neither.
You're a fucking loser.
Fag.
This is from.
This is a guy telling us about the Don Lemon video.
We showed this on the show, dude.
Oh, it's a different one.
Why no one trusts Mainstream.
Mainstream is at an all-time low.
And for good reason.
You know, I feel...
Like, I don't feel compelled to show these because, of course, it's going to be gold.
And of course, you should check it out.
So that's like me.
The Rolling Stones put out an album.
Well, that's a bad example.
Put out an album in 1975.
And I say, hey, check out the new Rolling Stones album.
Yeah, doi.
I mean, I said that with the strokes, but there was a risk you might miss it.
Um, okay, ready?
This is Conservatrax, and they've got a picture of me, and it says, you are a commie.
Maybe you should do some reading and realize this is a Marxist principle.
From each according to his ability means you work as much as you can, to each according to his need means you are only paid what you need to get by.
It's a fundamentally Marxist view and was literally written in the Communist Manifesto, you fucking retard.
You have hurt me today.
For each according to his ability, to each.
Hurt me today.
Yeah, you're right.
I fucked that question.
You know what it is?
It's a bunch of doublespeak.
All they're Marxist bullshit anyway, so it's hard to navigate that.
Yeah.
Well, that's the problem with Marxism is it sounds reasonable.
You go, yeah, workers do deserve rights.
According to his need, sure.
Yeah, you need something?
You should get it.
It's all trickery.
That's why it's so successful.
Fascism, you don't have to fight.
It fizzles out.
It's like a firecracker.
Which is why Buchanan said World War II should have just been Stalin versus Hitler.
They'd both die.
Dear Gavin and drum roll, please.
Owner of the fag zone.
He rents the fag zone.
He does not own it.
Oh, and it's not the same.
The New York Times is reprimanding the military for having bases slash forts named after Confederate generals.
Confederate generals are heroes and great military minds.
Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, Patrick Selburn.
Here's the article below.
Why does the U.S. military celebrate white supremacy?
Isn't that a fucking egregious title for what's supposed to be the paper of record?
Like white supremacy, that's the kind of thing that college students say and Antifa says.
You don't hear adults say it.
It's like fascist.
Is he a fascist?
Remember in that show?
What was the show called?
It wasn't Billions.
It was some other show like that.
And it was a Tucker Carlson character based on Tucker and Kind of Me.
And Proud Boys were in the episode.
And she goes, well, he's getting the highest ratings on the network.
And then the woman who owns the network goes, yes, but is he a fascist?
And I'm like, that conversation never happened in adult land.
It's like intersectionality.
It's not a word real, actual human beings use.
White supremacy.
And yes, southern generals were heroes.
Gavin, how's your lawn looking lately?
As a homeowner, I'd love to see a gratuitous tour of your garage setup and lawn maintenance procedures.
Do you have a watering system or do you drag a hose around?
What brands do you recommend?
What height is your mower set at?
And do you use electric or gas edger or just pay an illegal or ryan to do it?
How do you take care of weeds, dandelions, blah, blah, blah?
Do you have any?
Well, I have a shitty suburban lawn now.
And I don't, I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't take care of it.
The lawn people come by.
Because we have a lot of flowers and stuff that they trim.
I don't know about that kind of shit.
But back when I had a place upstate, I was obsessed with my lawn.
I use Scott's Care, the seeds there.
I also didn't like that blue.
It looks like insulation.
It's a blue, sort of fluffy stuffing that has seeds in it.
And obviously, you can't just put seeds down or the birds will eat them.
So I tried that blue stuff.
I didn't like it.
I found I just couldn't beat the idea of throwing down seeds and putting hay on top of them.
But I'll tell you something that I learned, one of my favorite lawn tricks I learned just by accident.
So I had a big bonfire on the lawn once, right?
And then I was burning boxes and stuff.
And then I tried to plant grass there and it was a bald patch forever.
I'd scrape down, I'd put new dirt there, I would add seed, I'd put hay on top of it, all my tricks.
And it never took.
And I realized with that fire, I had somehow singed the nutrients.
So what I did was I went to a part of the lawn I don't give a shit about, way off in some dark corner somewhere, and I cut a patch out, brought it over, scraped down with the rake, like a dirt rake, put it down there, and then the secret to any kind of sod or any kind of, I would call this franken lawn, when you transport, you transpose a piece of a lawn onto a bald patch.
You have to drench it and sit there with your bare feet going squelch, squelch, squelch, and really swampify it and it'll stick.
Also, as far as fighting dandelions and all that, grass is an incredible weed.
So it will wipe out the competition if you have enough of it.
It's sort of like McCaffey talking about the biomass.
Once grass gets to a level, it can handle its biz.
So the secret to that is to mow it regularly, and then the long blades fall down and feed the self.
They eat their own heads, and eventually the grass will get so dense that the dandelion's problem will take care of itself.
But I also would just take them out personally.
Crabgrass.
Yeah, where I was living in upstate, it was so rocky up there.
It was by the Delaware that you were just happy with anything green.
So I would accept crabgrass.
I'd even accept moss in some parts of the shaded lawn.
So there's that.
But yeah, you know who else is obsessed with lawns is Tucker Carlson.
Like he's read books on lawns.
It's a man thing.
And if you can, you should take care of your own lawn.
And yes, my mower was set to very short, but not ridiculously short.
I don't want to go too deep.
Dear Gavin, an undisputed creator of the fag zone, maybe I'm the only person to send this, but I had to make sure you saw it.
Imagine this headline singling out any other group than whites.
I like you more than a friend.
Mostly white covidiots at Trinity Bellwoods Park think the rules don't apply to them.
They're right.
by Sri Pardhikar, who appears to be a minority.
So she's been hired by whites to get on staff and just shit on white people.
And she looks mildly Arabic.
Probably half Pakistani.
She looks like a quarter pennywise the clown.
I think this is assimilation, though.
It's assimilation to...
And you get rewarded.
You get a job at the Toronto Star.
Okay, I'll do that.
You know what I was thinking the other day?
Anti-Semitism is kind of white self-hatred.
Like, I think a lot of blacks in Brooklyn hate Jews because they see them as the ultimate whites, and they don't like whites.
But I think a lot of anti-Semitic whites are the same way.
They're like, this is the worst of us.
These fucking rich assholes.
It's a theory I'm working on.
Chuck B. Hey, RNG, have you noticed how tech companies always use this really ugly art style?
My theory is that it's to make them seem less intimidating because their art is so shitty, you wouldn't associate it with a globalist corporation.
Yeah, it's also very communist looking.
These sort of block shoulders and simple shapes and fingerless hands.
It's like commies and kids.
The meatiness of the eyes is another attribute common to that.
Welcome to the COVID.
Welcome to the chinkpox.
We got fun and games.
Hey, Gavin, I'm Ryan.
Hi to send you this.
Have you seen this video?
Let me guess.
It's a video of the guy where the cameraman isn't wearing a mask.
Might as well show it.
The comic timing's very good in this.
They're Freedom from Illinois telling us to go home.
That's the situation here.
There doesn't seem to be any social distancing and not a lot of care when it comes to the coronavirus, Katie.
So are the people there just not worried about it, Cal?
Are they not worried about their own personal safety?
I haven't met anybody who is.
I met some folks actually from Lake Geneva who lived in the area.
They were staying a few months outside of town where they were working.
And they said they're worried about it.
They're worried about that second flight.
They're worried about folks coming in from Chicken Lake.
At the same time, this is a place that relies on the business.
I think people here want a little bit more funding when it comes to these programs so that they can stay close.
But again, I think people felt like the Supreme Court made the decision here in Wisconsin that it was time to open up.
But you can see, here, just real.
Nobody's wearing them.
Nobody, including the cameraman.
There you go, including the cameraman.
Yeah.
Katie.
Exactly.
Kathy Carl.
Striking images.
Cal Perry.
Cal, thank you very much.
And Kathy Parker.
And his cameraman was under six feet.
Amazing.
Hey, Gavin, the Fag Zone, guys.
Listen to a recent episode entitled No Justice in Your Stories of Hygiene School, reminding me what happened to me in elementary school.
This better be good, dude.
Yeah, come on now.
It started in second grade during Black History Month when our teacher was laying on the white guilt about how unhappy and mistreated blacks are in this country.
This was 2002.
So I piped up the innocent question: if all the black people in America are so unhappy, why don't they go back to Africa?
Her jaw dropped to the floor like her incessant white guilt to second graders wouldn't enlist someone to ask that question.
She asked me if my father taught me to say that, as my mother can't be a white supremacist because she's a woman.
They sent me to the principal's office, interrogated me, and brought my parents in there to interrogate them.
Well, why not answer the question?
Right.
And the answer is plenty did.
They started a country called Liberia, and it was freed slaves and activists and the ancestors of said group, and it was a complete failure.
The aristocrats today in Liberia are the ancestors of the emigrated Americans, the expats, and the natives to Liberia are the worse off.
That's interesting, I find.
But even today, I saw a New York Post article of, you know, I'm not going to say hundreds, maybe a dozen, two dozen people, blacks from Brooklyn have moved to Africa.
Maybe they wanted to discover Wakanda.
So I don't, I hate when teachers get mad at you for a question that they can't answer.
Like when I was in, yeah, when I was in elementary school, my friend Eric DeGras said to the teacher, why is shit brown?
And he was sent to the principal's office for that.
That's a racist teacher.
As he was thrown out, we're all like, why is shit brown?
Is there some secret?
I still don't really know.
My theory is that if you take every color of food, spinach, everything, green, brown, orange, mix it all up, it tends to go brown.
Mix every color in a palette and you end up with brown.
So that could be it.
I have never been more attentive to not accidentally press a button in my life.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Press it.
No!
You out of your mind?
What is it?
A racist thing?
It would have looked really fast.
If it's on the New York Post, play it, dumbass.
I mean, the context would have been very poor.
Oh, I see.
Sometimes they act shit jokes.
Sometimes they're mature.
No, it's just.
They sent me the principal's office, interrogated me, and brought my parents in there to interrogate them.
I was already getting bullied by the blackheads on my bus, so they already thought that was a red flag.
Funny enough, they never punished them for it, but I got taken out of school for a week for defending myself with a metal lunchbox.
You got to tell me what city you're in when you tell these stories, dude.
A year later, I dared a retarded kid named Tristan to draw a swastika on his forehead like Charles Manson, jokingly.
Motherfucker does it, and all of a sudden I'm in a retard class with a bunch of kids with schizophrenia and ADHD.
Same drill.
I was interrogated about being a Nazi and where I learned to draw swastikas.
I didn't even draw it, he puts in brackets.
And my parents were pissed because they pulled me from all of my normal classes, and I was getting stabbed with a pencil and scissors by one of the crazy retarded kids.
Once they finally were satisfied that I was re-educated, they put me back in my normal class.
That's exactly what they do in communist countries.
You go to re-education camp, which isn't re-education at all.
It's hell.
Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
I sent that video yesterday to a friend of mine who works in finance, in AI, crunching numbers.
So he just looks at algebra and calculus all day, numbers, numbers, numbers.
And I said, are you familiar with the one times one does not equal one theory?
And he's like, no, I have not come across that.
So I said, check it out.
Areology, bro.
And I explained the logic because I remembered.
Do you remember why one times one is not one?
The symbols.
No.
Okay, I'll re-explain it.
Got to stay up on your Terenceology.
The most basic law of physics is that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
When you take the number one and you multiply it by whatever, you're doing something.
So one times one is an action.
That action needs an equal and opposite reaction.
So something, I'm not saying it's two, but something has to happen.
1.001 maybe?
Something.
Oh, look, he is the source.
Oh, yeah, he is.
He sure is.
When you look up one times one equals two, you get Terrence Howard.
He's literally in the dictionary under one times one equals two.
Although he thinks he's an engineer or a mathematician, he never completed his studies and has had zero contribution on math and science.
Less than the average graduate student, I fear.
Once they finally were set, wouldn't it be fun to take, like, he said he's going to quit acting and become a teacher.
And wouldn't it be cool to take his class and get straight A's?
Yeah, that would be cool.
Because you would just listen and just repeat it, like in your essay.
One of his ideas is a great plan.
The quitting the acting part.
Yeah.
And now I wanted to fuck with them for what they did to me.
We had a pussy beta male principal named Mr. Wemmet.
So I drew another swastika and he took me into an empty room to have his white knight American History X heart to heart with me.
I told him I didn't even know what it was.
So he gave me a play by play of the Holocaust and Nazism and skinheads.
Ooh, the skinheads.
What's the skinhead death toll in America?
How many people have skinheads killed?
20 blacks were killed today in gang warfare.
Today.
160 people die from opioids.
250 Christians in the world are killed every fucking day.
But no, skinheads.
And at the end of his long heartfelt speech about how drying a swastika is wrong, I told him I understood and left.
A couple days later, one of my bullies put gum in my hair on the bus, so my parents had my head shaved.
So I get to school the next morning thinking it's hilarious and gave my principal a Zeke Heil with a big grin on my face.
He just dropped his head in defeat.
I want to fuck you with my Nazi glasses on.
Whoa.
Pretty funny.
Look at this.
I'm surprised you kept your sense of humor.
Religionnewsblog.com says neo-Nazi death toll since 1990 is 41.
Yeah, okay.
In Berlin.
That's obviously very, very small.
But let's, I bet if you go through all of those, it won't be like, hi, I'm a Nazi, and don't take this out of context, you fuckers.
Hi, I'm a Nazi.
These are my suspenders.
I have a knife here.
I'm stabbing this Jewish person because 100% of his Jewish heritage, nothing to do with anything else.
That's a hate crime.
Like the nursing home, that's a bona fide hate crime.
He said he hates white people.
He beats up old white people.
But often it'll be like two guys who were in like this weird patriot group.
They got in a fight over an ex-wife and one of them stabbed the other one.
No, that's not a hate crime.
Yeah.
It's a hate guy doing a crime.
And they might tend to just be loonies to begin with and a little unhinged.
Sure, yeah.
So you have a bar fight, boom, bada bing, bomb, boom.
Nothing to do with nothing.
Hey guys, check out this video of this guy playing a basketball.
Okay, Pete, let's check that out.
Better not be gay.
Well, at least I've never seen this before.
I want to go right now.
I don't want to go.
He talks like Larry Barnes.
He ain't going to do that on me.
He ain't going to do that.
All right, all right.
He ain't going to do that on me, Player.
Oh, okay.
All right.
West luck to me, Player.
It ain't my luck.
I like that outfit.
I'm going to start dressing like that.
Yeah, that's cool.
What the hell you talk about the rules, folks?
Look, I tell him one thing.
Look, he can make the game, make the rules, and I still beat him.
I think he's on crack.
Whoa!
Ah!
I told you, baby.
He ain't doing that on me.
Who was the last sucker?
I'm Jewel.
I'm 59 years old.
Look at him.
Dunk on me at 59.
This guy's hypnotizing.
I want to give him a shovel.
Balling with you.
This guy.
This guy.
Oh, you put him on.
Bye, Felicia.
You saw that.
Put him in the league.
That hook shot.
That hook shot deserves a 20.
Your pants have one huge pleat in the front.
What you tell you?
All right, Fred.
Man, I told you I was no joking.
I'm coming off.
He came through correctly.
I came through.
You didn't dunk on me.
Hey, where's Spud Webb?
Man, you a tiny spider.
Okay, Fresno.
Okay, now go on a 300-mile bike ride, crackhead.
Wow.
Here's from John.
Goodness.
You're mentioning Steven Crowder a whole lot.
I'm a couple episodes behind, so maybe I missed an announcement.
Like, you're gay for him, but what's up?
You just feel really bad about that have a kid joke?
Maybe.
He isn't nearly as funny as you.
He has this high-pitched anxious voice when he's joking.
I have a hard time listening to it.
Get over him.
You have hurt me today.
You have hurt me today.
She's a fat pig, and that's not good.
She's dying.
But I will hand it to her.
I've met her a few times.
I did a UCB thing with her.
She's fucking funny.
Her comic timing is perfect.
You have hurt me today.
I bet she wrote that.
Hey, Gavin, sideshow Bob.
Put that in your HR complaint.
Please.
Do you remember this story?
I've told this a million times, so I just can't get over it.
I was talking to a guy who there was a hotel where he was staying, and the door was, it didn't have a do not disturb sign.
And the maid just walked in, and it was past checkout.
Remember that happened to me?
Oh, yeah.
The black guy just walked into my room.
No, it was a guy.
It was late, though.
Oh, yeah, late.
It was like 11 p.m.
Yeah.
They're doing a night check.
Weird.
Big black guy walks into your room.
Do you need towels?
Yeah, I do.
Why don't you have any?
Wasn't he right.
Was he wearing like a suit?
Yeah.
That's not a.
He's a thief.
Yeah, yeah.
But the head of security and the manager, they were all black, and I think they just thought, fuck you, dude.
Because no one cared about my.
I was pissed.
I was yelling.
People were coming out of their rooms.
I mean, I was there with my son.
I was fucking mad.
Anyway.
Remember Casey Affleck's HR bullshit, Me Too thing?
Where he raped the woman who did his movie?
And you go, that's pretty bad.
He should go to jail for a long time.
Rape's bad.
Was she crying?
Help, help, and he had his hand over his mouth and like a gun or a knife to her head?
And he was raping her and raping her?
She's going to be traumatized for the rest of her life.
I mean, he ruined sex for her forever.
Well, wait, what happened?
So she directs, what's it called?
Manhattan by the Sea?
That by the Sea movie that does that fucking trick they do now, Manchester by the Sea, where they show a dead kid at the beginning.
And now they got me.
You're supposed to build the characters.
I'm supposed to get to know the characters so I have empathy.
You don't just kill the guy's fucking kids in the first five minutes.
Yeah, you got me.
Congratulations.
I'm interested now.
I'm also crying.
Thanks a lot, fuckface.
So that movie uses that cheap trick of having a fire in the house that could or could not be his fault.
And he's fucked up forever.
He's basically killed his kids via negligence.
And they're never the same.
Anyway, it does very, very well.
And the director who directed it is a woman, right?
And so he gave her a career.
Thank you.
Let him rape you.
No, just kidding.
So what did he do?
He started her career.
She's getting all these awards.
It's going to look great on her resume, right?
And they're at a hotel, I guess, doing some sort of, you know, Toronto Film Festival kind of bullshit.
You do all the festivals.
And Casey and I think Joaquin Phoenix, I'm not sure the other one was, they go, hey, give us your room key.
We're going to fuck these chicks, these girls.
That's it.
They went up, fucked a chick.
Now, the previous story, I didn't finish with the hotel.
The maid came in and there was a gay orgy going on.
What?
And they were filming gay porn.
And they got come on the couch, come on the carpet, come on the pillows, everything.
And the manager came in, shut it down, obviously, but said, you just bought all of this.
This is your couch now.
This is your bed.
That's your carpet.
And their bill was like $20,000.
This sounds very gay.
I know.
The overlap here is if my boss, who had given me a career, director, it's really fucking hard to climb up the ladder.
You've got to do a bunch of shitty art films.
Eventually you get some like action film that pays all your bills for the past 40 years.
But you start a great career like that, being a director, a female director, super rare.
So you get that gift.
My boss, if he said, I want to fuck a chick in your room, I'd be like, okay, I wouldn't even say, don't get jizz on the pillows.
I wouldn't want him to get jizz on the pillows.
But I would go to the room, I would examine things.
If there was jizz on the pillowcase, I would take it out, put it in the shower, turn on the shower, and leave it there for the maid.
Like, do these women belong in the workforce?
We can't riff anymore.
I used to, advice, I would walk around, totally nude, I would streak through the office.
I wasn't trying to seduce anyone.
Hey, Gavin Saito, Bob, check out this example of these people who can't do their fucking jobs.
Statistics for retards.
Don't even need to know econometrics, econometrics, to know this is asinine.
I love your new sunglasses.
It's retarded.
Undergrad losers, I'd be fired for being so shit at my actual job.
Now, I'm not looking at this yet, but whenever I see something like this, I get worried that I won't get it either, especially after that huge Marx mistake where I got the communist manifesto wrong.
All right, what is this now?
Countries with coronavirus in countries with female leaders.
Total deaths, 135.
Total deaths, 9,000.
Yeah, okay.
Disproportionate.
It's called per capita.
Are women better leaders?
Because in the tiny island of Taiwan, the minute shithole of Denmark.
Welcome to the minute shithole of Denmark.
The super teensy island, New Zealand.
For real.
And the fairly small country, Germany, we had 9,000 deaths.
Bananas.
Wow.
Embarrassing.
Well, that's, but they, see, that's why the death of math is so helpful for the left, because they can do stuff like that.
And they can say things like, white males are responsible for most deaths in America, which I'm not even sure is true.
I think blacks cross the 50% threshold.
But like, they'll say, most people on welfare are white.
And you go, yeah.
Most people on Japanese welfare are Japanese.
Alexander, sweet, out of touch, Gavin.
Like you, I've been exhausting all resources at my disposal to really get to the bottom of this bizarre, discarded boiler conundrum.
Admittedly, I felt like you at first.
Okay, so if I'm wrong, so is my plumber who's been doing it for 30 years.
Judging solely from my experience being a sentient human being living in the real world of blah, blah, blah, I came to the conclusion that junkers will often drive around grabbing any scrap they can get their hands on.
Sometimes to strip for materials like copper and steel.
I've already covered this.
I told you how much copper was on it.
Other times for parts like valves and pipes.
This boiler was dead to the world, rusted to shit, a 20-year-old piece of fucking garbage.
Many times just because they're obsessive hoarders and junkers who just collect trash other people throw out and they have some that's what I think is going on.
I'll get to the rest of your letter in a second.
I think junkers get into this like beaver mentality where they're just like now beavers will often gnaw at a tree just to get their teeth down.
So I don't think this guy thought of that individual transaction as a thing.
He's just like, I'm a junker.
When this plumber calls me, I go and pick it up.
Sometimes I lose money, sometimes I gain money, but we have a relationship and I just keep plugging away.
And every year or two, I look at my watch and see if I'm making any money.
That's one theory.
But here he goes.
But how wrong we were.
He's including himself in this chastisation.
This is the guys we hung out in DC with.
That guy Alex when we were driving back from that Soiree to DC.
Remember them?
Barely.
After consorting with my team of experts, it turns out the people who snatched up your boiler were almost without question aspiring rocket engineers.
Thought it may seem far-fetched, generation boomer, and broken boilers and water heaters are constantly utilized by scientists whose dream it is to be among the stars.
Okay, you're a fucking retard.
Thanks for wasting my time.
Trina.
Hey, Gavin, how's a Rogane going?
I'm a soon-to-be 50-year-old mom of three whose hair was thinning because of the arthritis drugs I'm on.
My youngest daughter works for an online all-natural hair company called Monate.
She gave me hair growth stuff and it has worked wonders for me.
I like you more than a friend, Trina.
I don't think Rogaine's doing shit.
Joe Rogan.
You're supposed to put it on twice a day, but I always forget the second time.
I just get it in the mornings.
Plus, I have this Razak black woman perm shit I put in my hair.
That might be fucking with the chemical combination.
This doesn't look good either.
Women are claiming Manat hair products are causing hair loss multiple.
It's well, she said monate, but I guess it's the same thing, right?
She just spelled it on.
There's a lot of lawsuits, and it does not look good.
It's like your daughter's breaking up the wrong G. Why does my outbox say it's sending two messages, but I have nothing in my center outbox?
What the hell?
What the fuck?
Can I see these messages you're talking about?
Richard.
Hey guys, when I'm mentioning woman is good estate agents, check out the new Netflix show, Selling Sunset.
My wife is obsessed with that show.
The fact that you like it means you're a fag.
It's just come out in the UK, so may have been out for a while where you are, but it follows the Oppenheim Group in LA and basically confirms all single multi-millionaire men in LA are short geeks.
Nice.
That's a song, yeah.
You got a bright future there, Ryan.
Just got to become Jewish.
Oh, man.
Look how sexy they are.
That's the kind of sexy when you're like 11 and you're like, when I grow up, I'm going to be a handsome man.
Or, like, some foreign country, some Russian app has a thing.
It's called Sunset.
You get to be gorgeous, man.
Look at those fucking homes.
To sell homes like these, you have to be at the top of your game.
Style may get you in the front door.
Having trouble walking in those shoes.
It's not going to close the deal.
After much thought, I've decided to go with Crochelle.
Crochet?
It's so boring, dude.
That final dura can turning through.
You and my wife should get together.
Fag it out.
Talk about heels and shit.
Yeah.
Here's Joe.
Gab, I just watched yesterday's episode of Joe Mellon.
For most part, I agree with you on that quiz, but I have a few questions for you.
First, on question seven on that quiz, you strongly agreed with Fromicia Cornius.
Yeah, yeah, we got it.
I think you made a mistake on that one.
Yes, I did.
You have hurt me today.
Also, one question, 16.
You were very emphatic about strongly disagreeing that the UN should be abolished.
Was that a mistake?
Yes, that was another mistake.
I want the UN to be abolished.
You have hurt me today.
And if not, why do you strongly support the UN?
I don't, dude.
Sorry, you caught me.
It's a fucking joke.
It's a joke.
It's just a joke.
Please, it's a fucking joke.
I'm going to say that every time I make it.
I was here.
It's a joke.
I love that Money for Nothing is playing in the background, too.
Which solidifies that you think it's a gay song and I think it rules.
Hey there, Gavin and Ryguy.
My name is Tyler.
I live in Minneapolis.
Yesterday, the police station started out with these...
What's the video?
He's talking about the riots in Minneapolis.
Started out with the usual banging, screaming, meaning the slogan ended with the corner in Minneapolis looking at Urban War Zone.
There was the classic, you're all Nazi scum and fucking pigs, fuck you.
You know, activism.
But at 157.36, the video I attached, some fool actually tried yelling the truth.
See if you can pick out what he says.
I like your new sunglasses.
157.36.
They don't get their cars back.
They don't get their building back.
They don't get their shit back.
We're not getting our brother back.
Seven seconds.
Police to the death of me.
That's on my mama.
157.36.
37.
So we're in it.
157.36.
Yes, we're in it.
And what did he say?
Are you okay?
No, it starts now.
That's the guy.
The guy in the green.
I don't think we could hear him.
Why can't they just listen, bro?
Why can't you fucking listen?
Stop, first step, right?
Stop, first step!
Thanks for the super high-quality video that's really easy to hear, dude.
People gathered.
What did they film this on a flip phone?
Excuse me.
From 38th in Chicago, where George Floyd was killed.
I can't hear him, shithead.
And by the way, if you're sending a video where the audio sucks, can you not transcribe what he said?
Basically, the crowd surrounded us.
There were so many people here.
There was thousands of people out.
People were very angry.
This link of 5730.
157.36.
Get back.
We're not getting our brother back.
So I fucked the police to the death of me.
That's on my mama.
Okay.
Here goes the dudes.
Are you okay?
I just wanted to whisk the eyes.
They're not gonna fucking whisk it.
You're okay.
Watch it.
But the black guy did say, I just want revenge.
I thought I heard Soros in there.
I guess I'm a millennial born in 84.
Anyway, this is from Richard Boiler.
Anyways, those people who think they know why scrappers take boilers are fucking idiots.
Us Michiganders call them hot water heaters.
Quite pliantastic?
I know, I'm a machinist, welder, and a general DIYer, and I'm 100% with you.
Thank you.
You have not hurt me today.
For the life of me, I can't figure out why scrappers take boilers and the like.
In my neighborhood, a Detroit suburb, if you put something metal just outside your door, it's like someone sounded an alarm and a scrapper's there within minutes.
Makes less than no sense.
We recycle an entire roll of dumpster of steel crap at work just to make it worth it.
An entire roll of dumpster.
An entire roll-off.
Oh, an entire roll-off dumpster of steel scrap at work.
Yeah.
Do you get that?
So when they have an entire dumpster full, all right, it's worth it.
That I get.
I saw in my apartment across the street, somebody's putting out like a bureau.
Crossing the fag zone?
It's not the fag zone, but sure, for your frame of reference.
And I looked outside, it was a nice day, and then there was a nice little bureau there, and I was like, oh, I'm going to get that.
And then I saw an old lady spy in it.
It would have been perfect for the fag zone.
I mean, for my room.
That's a great spot.
I let her take it.
Wow.
But I could have just went across the street and grabbed it.
You almost got a chair.
A bureau.
I don't really like the way your camera's pointing, by the way.
I don't really like my hair.
So I'm not going to show myself.
As you probably know, Joe Rogan is going to Spotify.
All right.
Let's just see how late our viewers are to the game.
Right?
Now, I hate to.
This is recorded.
This show was recorded May 27th at Joe Rogan Spotify.
Let's go news, right?
So when did this come out, this news?
Six days ago?
Six days ago?
Yep.
I think it was six days ago.
Six fucking days ago.
Biggest news in our business, the media, right?
And specifically, And he's someone I know.
I don't know if we're still friends, but he's someone I know.
So, perfect, right, bullseye story for us.
Almost a week later, six days later, you go, hey man, I got some news fresh off the presses.
I don't know if you know about this.
And we've already discussed it on the show.
Enough, please.
Why is that all crazy colors?
Are you doing that on purpose?
Yeah, because I look cool.
I like that.
Okay, here is some information.
Soon after the announcements, I bought some stock and it shot up $20 overnight.
Should I hold the course, buy more, take my gains and sell?
I don't fucking know.
Sell?
Howard Stern Blackface.
And now he's showing us shit that we already showed on the goddamn fucking show.
It was on the show, wouldn't it?
Jesus H. Bill.
Oh, there's another one that's the same story.
Yeah, we've seen all that a million times.
Then he says Humphrey McGee, which I love that band.
These are all the same ones we covered.
I don't know who that is, though.
Is that Shane Dawson?
That's a new one.
He's a huge YouTuber.
I'll reset the color palette.
You know Shane Dawson, right?
Yeah, thanks for fucking up the color palette and wasting everyone's time.
No, I don't know who Shane Dawson is.
He's like one of the biggest YouTubers in the world.
Okay, great.
Hey, G, I read this news article tonight and wondered who you think is in the right and in the wrong.
How would you adjudicate this case if it were in the Get Off My Lawn Court of Appeals, Judge Gavin?
In my humble non-legal opinion, the wedding photographer clearly has a legally binding contract, so they are in the right as much as they do not owe this poor bastard the money.
However, if you look at how they reacted, especially that nasty Facebook message taunting this young dude on the day that would have been his wedding, don't you think these people are kind of evil?
So maybe just go fuck themselves?
Wedding videographer refused to provide refund after bride's death.
Harasses her family.
Whoa, that's pretty messed up.
Today would have been the day where we would have filmed Justin Alex Wednesday after what Justin pulled with the media stunt to try and shake us down for a refund.
We hope you sob and cry all day for what would have been your way.
Yeah, I just wouldn't pay them.
I don't care what the law is.
I had my bill for my wedding was like 40 grand.
And afterwards, we had sparklers and some of the embers landed on the tablecloths.
And the woman wanted money for the tablecloths.
And I was like, no.
She goes, but we have a contract.
That goes under damages.
And I was like, okay.
No.
You already got tons and tons of money.
No one too.
So, no, not doing that.
Maybe that's why I like Trump.
Chris, great TV guy.
One of the best shows on Netflix is Fauda.
It's half subtitles and half dubbed, which would generally make a show a piece of smelly shit, but it's so good that none of that matters.
Check it out.
You will love it, guaranteed.
I turned Ryan on to...
The Shivering Whisper?
The Shivering Truth or something?
Yeah, The Quivering, Shivering Truth.
What's the background of this show?
I can't look at Russians.
They make me sick.
Turn it up.
All right.
Some terrorist counter-terrorist stuff?
Israel Defense Forces?
Ooh, I could get into that.
Killing Muslims?
Radical Muslims.
Yes.
Terrorists.
I mean, I support Israel, but I also don't give a shit about a lot of the countries.
So when I see some disgusting, bombed-out shithole in Jerusalem, I just think, fuck off.
You know what I mean?
It's like in public freak out on Reddit when I see like Asians and Indians fighting with the police.
I'm like, I don't care if they live or die.
You watch Star Wars for the lightsaber duels, not the Tuscan Raiders running around poking shit.
From a Star Wars dudes out there.
Blue crate.
You see this fucking shit?
I'm from Chicago.
I know the city well enough to know that they will for sure use this as an opportunity to make an example out of him.
The person who posted this link on Facebook is a comedian, and you should see the amount of sad reacts and shares.
Liberally, Chicago's hair turns white at the very mention of proud boys.
Are you a proud boy?
has been used as a sort of threat.
The vibe really echoes Soviet Russia.
This man's life is ruined.
Fuck Antifa.
Chicago police are investigating.
This fucking stuff makes my stomach turn.
Reached by Vice News, the police officer said he was posting the Telegram group, fuck Antifa, to get people on the left and the right together.
It's no one's business what a police officer thinks.
How did the Chicago Anti-Fascist Action release the dossier on Monday?
How did they find out?
Unless they have people inside big tech.
Designate a hate group for their identity as a far-right neo-fascist organization that admits only men as members.
Yeah, like the Knights of Columbus?
And promotes political violence.
Well, political violence against you when you attack us, fuckface.
Blah, blah, blah.
But members of the group have been identified as, and then they list all their names, and Chicago police officer, and then they have his name.
Huh.
Well, he's fucked.
I know a cop who was in Louisiana, Brian something.
And they discovered he was a proud boy, fired.
Not just from that particular district, his entire career of policing is gone forever.
He installs air ducts now.
HVAC.
Or I knew a guy who worked in the Department of Homeland Security.
He was working on algorithms that could search out chats and catch things like bomb.
Yeah, that's the guy.
What's his name?
Brian Green.
Brian Green.
That would do chats, like, Search chats and see things like bomb, terror, Allah, Muhammad, virgins, whatever.
And robots would say this particular conversation looks pretty serious.
And remember, 75% of all the terrorist threats in America have been thwarted.
But that Department of Homeland Security guy, he's got like four kids.
He's a single father.
His ex-wife was a fucking lunatic.
Fired.
Can't work at Department of Homeland Security.
Can't protect us from terrorists because you're in a club that the SPLC listed as a hate group.
Fucking shit, man.
So when did all this happen?
May 26th.
So weird.
I'm reading about it on Vice.
Shoot.
Screenshots, blah, blah, blah.
Proud Boy meetups in this area.
I'm bragging about his contacts with high police, which he said he was using to track anti-fascist movements.
Looks like they tracked you.
He also claims he has government connects, blah, blah, blah.
Baker reached by phone on Tuesday, denied that he's a member of the Proud Boys.
I met them once.
I never joined them, he said.
When asked why he was helping coordinate meetups for Proud Boys in the Chicago via Telegram, he said that was in regards to something else.
It was to build friends and talk with the left and the right.
I have many people on the left for my friends, blah, blah, blah.
They took it out of context.
Then he hung up.
Proud boys who describe themselves as Western chauvinists.
I wonder if they'd mention me.
Because I don't think Vice is allowed to mention me.
Let me just do a search on the old Gavaruskis.
Nope.
All right, well, that sucks.
Fucking sucks.
And people go, you happy now, Gavin?
See what you've done?
What?
I don't think people, like people go, look, there's 35 Prowboys lost their jobs because of you.
There's two guys in jail because of you.
No, not because of me.
Because of them.
Because of the DNC, because of Soros, because of a corrupt justice system.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Roger Stone did nothing wrong.
Like, why don't you go to Roger Stone and go, see?
All you had to do was flip on Trump and you wouldn't be facing prison.
You fucked up.
No, no, I didn't.
At least this writer is something else.
Police, anti-vaxxed robbery, guns, extremism, racism.
Extremism.
White supremacists.
Yeah, just a bummer.
Nazis, guns, Tess Owen.
That sounds familiar.
Tess Owen.
And she is an ugly bitter bitch.
An ugly bitter bitch.
And a child.
She's a little kid.
What's with these babysitters obsessed with white supremacy?
I do hard-hitting pieces about bad words and people in groups that are up to, but I consider no good.
I can't find a picture of you.
You can?
Oh, maybe it's not her.
Omni social media, Sarah Agostinsky.
That's not her.
I think maybe she's remaining anonymous so that way she could go places and not be pinned out.
Like, oh, that's her.
Tess.
But the name Tess is here somewhere.
Tess Owen, founder of Omni Social Media, is a violent public entrepreneur.
Yeah, this is her.
That is?
Yeah.
But I guess she changed her name or something?
But she forgot that she left her name on the about page.
Anyway, boring.
So that sucks.
Ryan, you were eating the kebab correctly from the skewer.
Sliding the food off the skewer onto a plate is like eating a candy bar with a fork and knife.
Must be a Canadian thing or something.
Kirb did a whole episode about Larry eating from a skewer and poking Ben Stiller's eye.
Remember?
And it's 40 seconds in.
That's right.
Great.
Up on the boards together.
Yeah, figuring it out.
Going great?
It's going.
It's going.
I think it's going pretty good.
Yeah, it's going okay.
What should I do with this?
I think a woman will come around to speak and put it on the table.
Every time I get one of these, I'll wind up holding it the whole night, you know?
I don't think that's true.
Oh, man.
If you're walking around at a party and no one's sitting down, then yeah.
But if you're sitting down, we're all seated.
Okay.
Here we go.
You want to take the beautiful golf club.
Watch this.
Okay.
Let's say that's the ball, okay?
You want to take the club and give it back to the catcher.
Give it to the catcher.
Here, watch this.
Jesus.
Oh, fuck.
Ow!
I can't see.
What did you do?
God, honey.
That could easily blind you, huh?
Yeah, I would hate that.
I would hate that.
I would hate that.
You're like a chick.
Would you rather be poked in the eye or have to eat a plate of shit?
Neither.
I don't even eat the plate of shit.
I don't want either of those things.
I know, dear.
It's an ultimatum.
No, I'm not doing it.
Okay, well, we're killing your family.
Thought you guys would enjoy this take on Vice Writers.
I like you more than your new glasses.
And this is from Patrick.
Petrie.
And this comes after years of dedicating my life.
Why do you are you so slow?
And this comes after years of dedicating my life to writing articles like A Woman's Guide to Tucking in Your Dick.
Yes, there are trans animals.
Why some men choose to remove their penis.
The Kim OG app doesn't work for Grindr.
And a modest take on why men terrorize women with poop.
And then I find out via email that I'm being let go because my articles aren't generating revenue.
Hi, New York Times.
Mark Diamond here.
Just calling to see if you got a chance to check up my resume.
Thousands of articles are never going to see the light of day.
No, I know you told me to stop calling, but I had an idea for a new article about canceling the Easter bunny.
Articles like 10 dildos are better than one, and your boyfriend's racist if you won't sit on them.
Lesbians should become trans men because most of them don't even have to change anything.
Does it only have 8,000 views?
We've had that guy on before.
We've talked about his videos before, he's really good, and his stand-up is good too.
Ryan Long.
Why are you saying it like that?
Ryan Long, dear Gavin, have you been spending too much time in the fag zone?
Why did you strongly disagree to abolishing the UN?
I made a mistake.
Jesus.
You have hurt me today.
Have you guys not been watching the rest of the show?
I was watching your last episode when you said you were going through the questions of one of them said the United Nations.
Okay, I apologize.
Dude, I came across this on Instagram.
It was a post by modern.be.mag, apparently insinuating that all body types are beautiful.
You're both dying.
My guck.
What the fuck?
Look at those hips.
If you average out the weight, I'm sure that's a healthy...
Those hips are Auschwitz level.
Yeah, they're Ausch hips.
Some of the comments said these ladies were brave, but I think the true brave are the men who'd put their heels on for these two.
Made me wonder, who would you rather?
Oh, fatty by a fucking landslide.
Yeah.
Think it's a fatty?
Fatty is...
The fucking skeleton, I mean, you would have nightmares.
I wouldn't do either.
I wouldn't.
I'm not going to do either.
I'd just fly off in a plane.
I don't want to have sex with them.
I'd rather eat a steak and fuck a supermodel and win a million dollars.
Oh, well, I would do both, but if I could just transform them entirely and then not be the person.
Yeah, that's the thing that pisses me off when you're like, make out with a bomb or, and they're like, wait a minute, can he brush his teeth first?
Like, no, we're not doing any of that shit.
Can I take away all senses of my teeth?
Or just kiss him on the cheek?
What if I could delete my memories afterwards?
Yeah, no, no.
We'll invent all sorts of shit for you, sure.
By the way, I already solved that conundrum.
I wrote an article on Tachymag.
How much would you have to be paid to be raped by a bum?
I brought it up at a dinner party that Ann Coulter invited me to, and she was mad at me.
And I was like, Ann, it wasn't, I wasn't like, hey, who likes to fuck in the ass?
It wasn't like that.
It was an intellectual discussion.
All right.
Did you find it?
Why aren't you looking for it?
What?
My tacky mag article.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had some other.
I was literally sitting there going, yeah, yeah, right, right.
You're not watching the show.
You're on the show.
Tacky Mag raped by a bum, Gavin McInnes.
I had the aliens.
Bye, bum.
Still going, folks.
He's still typing.
When you mean a homeless person, not a bum.
Holy shit.
Just, did you get it?
You suck so much shit.
Watch how fast I fucking find this, okay?
Starting now.
TackyMag.com.
Homeless person.
Rape.
Millions sex.
Millions.
And we're there.
The $10 million question.
The million thing would have helped.
Well, you use your brain.
How the heck do you type in homeless rape and then that's not the first thing that comes up?
Dude, just look up the $10 million question, Tacky Mag.
You're fucking incompetent.
I already gave you the title of the article.
I've had it up here all this time.
Still going, folks.
Jamie, still fucking going.
Holy shit, you are the worst.
I typed it in.
I typed it in.
Did you type in Tacky Mag?
I'm on Tacky Mag searching for it.
No, you don't use fucking website searches.
You know, they suck.
They always suck.
Fucking useless retard.
You type in tachymag.com and then the article in a Google search.
Websites, individual searches always suck.
You may want to learn these things.
Anyway, you guys can look that up on your own.
But I basically work out to be raped in the ass by a bum, and obviously it's not rape if you're getting paid, is $9 million, oh, $10 million.
And what you do is you donate $3 million of it to a charity to help with your own mental trauma from remembering that.
And also, because people are going to be in your house, in your in-ground pool, and they're going to go, wow, this is awesome.
Is this from censored.tv just doing that stupid show?
You go, no, most of the money came from getting fucked in the ass by a bum.
That's not a great story.
Now you say, most of the money came from that, but I also donated this much to this charity or this prostate cancer, blah, blah, blah.
Now we're better off.
All right.
This is from Matt.
Does this con Central Park Karen context?
Does this context change the narrative at all?
This is a Facebook post from the guy filming.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We know that story.
We've discussed it.
He said he was going to do something to her that she wasn't going to like.
And we also know that Tessa Majors went to a park in Manhattan, in Harlem, not far from Central Park.
And she wanted to buy pot.
I argue she was killed by feminism.
And you're looking up Tessa Majors?
Yeah, he's free.
Released without charges.
So here's what happened.
She's trying to buy pot.
She thinks she's a badass.
They see a woman in one of the most dangerous places in all of New York City, this park.
There's stabbings there all the time.
And they go, we don't have pot, but now we have your purse.
And she goes, oh, fuck that.
They'll give us your fucking purse, bitch, white lady.
And she's like, you're not getting my purse, motherfucker.
Okay.
Now, here's a crazy angle.
In the culture of black ghetto crime, they kind of had no choice.
I know it's a horrible thing to say, but he's now known as a bitch who got bullied by a white, rich white girl who's only 18 years old.
Now he's a bitch forever.
And just like in prison, if you're a bitch in the hood, you're vulnerable.
You might get killed.
Better him.
It might be your nickname, white girl.
Hey, white girl, come over here.
Stop calling me that.
Fuck you.
Because it happened also many years ago with Nicole Dufran.
A guy named Rudy Fleming put a gun to her head, said, give me all your money.
She goes, what are you going to do, bitch?
Shoot me?
Now he would become white girl bitch for the rest of his life.
So he went, oh, fuck, here we go.
In other words, ladies, you're not hood, okay?
Don't go to the fucking Harlem parks trying to get weed and challenging people with young men, black teens, with knives in their hand.
And when a black kid pulls a gun on you, don't say, don't call him a bitch.
I'm sorry, I know this sounds like I'm blaming the victim, but I'm kind of blaming feminism.
Anyway, yeah, that woman said, he said to that woman in Central Park, I'm going to do something to you, to your dog, and you're not going to like it.
This is what, the Tessa Majors, I think, was December.
So there's a few months after a woman was killed by a black man in the park.
But they've canceled her life.
No job.
They took her fucking dog away.
Yeah.
That's for another show.
We're going to get into the Karen conundrum.
Because on the one hand, it's racist to say Karen.
But on the other hand, these Karens have fucked with my life quite a bit.
More than black chicks sure have.
You took away Chromecasting.
Can you get your tech dude to fix the Chromecasting, please?
I have no idea what that means.
So we will send that off to my tech guy.
Sorry to bore you with that letter.
Uh-oh.
Have you noticed, by the way, remember you fucked up the quiz when you touched your mouse?
My stupid Apple mouse is so sensitive now that one little and I'm on another planet.
Yeah, yeah.
Gavines.
Yo, cuck faggot.
Damn, nigga.
And he makes it clear he's not addressing you.
I'm getting 100% of that, cuck.
Damn.
And he's mushed your first name into your last name, Gavinus.
I know that the 1990s, you're busy singing in the band from whence you fabricated your boring laurel resting gayness, diarrhea cha-cha-cha, or Mantai Rayol Boys, or the fucking Animal Collective, or Anal Chagrin, Chinook, whatever's, bro.
Whole seismic-based low-bar, no-heart, drunk, bore, man-gun, clobbern, slobbern, bitch hunt, you twat.
I always write, please don't use my name when I listen to you speak, as if you'll read anything I write for reels.
Well, my first son was born today, and it's largely due to your influence, so thank you.
This person sounds like John McCaffey.
Also, dude, remember Fraser from Old Cheers on his spin-off?
Okay, Roz was a thick show.
Shut the fuck up, weirdo.
Congratulations, though.
Scrap metal.
Back to the scrap.
Scrap metal!
Anyone that, by the way, a person is who.
A thing is that.
So it's anyone who thinks.
Anyone who thinks that someone is fixing a hot water heater is retarded.
Thank you.
My dad, aunt, and her drug addict ex-boyfriend used to collect scrap metal.
Water heaters are a big find for scrappers.
I think there is some copper in there that you know is well regarded.
I told you how much fucking copper there was.
It's not a lot.
They can be pretty easy to load into the truck, van if they're on the curb, yes.
Anyway, to put scrap metal prices into perspective, I work for a construction company.
We built a railroad bridge about 425 feet long and it carried two tracks.
We scrapped all the steel from the old bridge.
I forget how much it weighed, but the entire scrap value of the bridge was about 30 grand.
There is no money to be made in scrap metal.
My dad would spend hours and hours collecting, cutting up, and sorting the different types of metal and then complain when he got $500 at best for a load of the high-value scrap.
PS callers are boring retards and emailers too, damn it.
That wasn't boring.
Sal, Jimmy Fallon and removing blacks from culture.
Hey Gav, far be it from me to defend the likes of the ever-so-milquetoast Jimmy Fallon, but I'm starting to feel like blackface being used in comedy post-1960s Birmingham is actually more inclusive and self-aware than any of the minstrel satire that something like a Chris Rock impression is being compared to.
And I think banning an impression actually does more harm than good.
Think of what the backlash actually accomplishes.
One, Jimmy Fallon doesn't do that impression anymore.
She's not doing it without blackface.
That doesn't make sense.
Two, Jim and his peers are afraid to satirize black people in any way, regardless of what they look like.
Three, black people aren't talked about in comedy anymore, thus removing an entire race from a piece of pop culture.
That's what I've always said about political correctness.
Like when I was a kid with retards, we said the word retard and they were our friends.
They were in our gang.
It would always be someone's brother and he can't, he's not allowed to come out and play unless he brings Max.
So we have a retard in the crew.
Then abortion wiped them out.
But also, today, everyone is so scared of the word retard or anything like that that they keep them separate in a closet.
They don't touch them.
It's like kids.
Bill Burr says that.
He goes, when I was young, I'd see a kid.
I go, what's going on, buddy?
We have fun now.
I'm just like, get the fuck away from me.
You know, we've made all of us scared of each other.
And I've said this before.
Imagine being a black woman in a normal office space right now who wants to riff and be cool and funny.
She must walk into the cafeteria and everyone just goes, oh, I don't know how it does.
You don't want to say the wrong thing.
Like I probably did too.
What's her name?
Denine Barelli.
If I tell her nice shirt, then that means every other shirt that I didn't say that to sucked and then that's racist.
I actually did say that to Denine once by accident.
A nice shirt?
No, I was talking about Fox News and I go, why do they all have the same fucking dress?
It was me, Dan Bongino, Denine Barelli.
Michelle Malkin, I think, was there too.
And we were all talking about the election and it was in between shots and I said, I mean, like, video shots.
I said, yeah, they all have the same fucking dress.
Like, why doesn't anyone have, you know, a Jeremy Scott dress or a Vivian Westwood dress with like a shawl or something?
It's always the exact same fucking dress.
And then I saw Denine go like this, and then I realized she was wearing that exact dress.
That might be why she hated me so much.
Anyway, I'm sure there are plenty of African Americans who want to take part in a good impression.
It is a good impression, but because comedy allows for laughing at all kinds of people, but whites are inadvertently taking that away from blacks.
There's so many examples like this, but they all lead to the same place.
Multiculturalism is erased from the communal art experience.
Thanks for always putting on a good show.
Do more off-the-record episodes if you have time.
You're still a cool hipster.
Thanks.
And I enjoy your insight, even if you are basically Muthuselah.
Who is that again?
Methuselah.
Yeah, Methuselah.
Is that from the Babo?
Methuselah.
Is that from the Babo?
Your attitude where you look in her eyes, she turns into stone and shit.
No, that's not.
That's Medusa.
I know.
Oh, you're doing a joke.
Biblical patriarch and a figure in Judeo-Christianism said to have died at the age, he lived the longest of all the figures in the Bible.
Oh, I get it.
I'm old.
Son of Enoch, yes, of course.
Yeah, and that also, by the way, letter writer, that's also why Archie, I argue the Archie Bunkers of the world are less racist.
Actually, let me rephrase that.
In an Archie Bunker world, there is less racism than there is today.
When you can make Polak jokes and black jokes, everyone is happier.
Everyone is better off.
And you're closer to other people.
This is why they want to control our speech.
This is why they want to silence us.
Because when we get along, we're empowered.
We're independent.
When we're separated and scared of each other, we call the police.
We film each other and call the police.
They've turned us into self-monitoring, big brother Orwellian slaves.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Don't fall for it.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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