Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #46 - BOURBON & SOCKS

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May 8, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:07:49

GOML LIVE #46 - BOURBON & SOCKS

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lot.
	It's 7 minutes.
	It's 7 minutes.
	That's a song we play because we can't play normal songs.
	Cause this is a this ends up on YouTube, but don't down.
	Yeah, did I type out the fucking ads?
	Chapelot, chapelot, tous save Yankee fra pachau.
	Atension, chapelo, en sa pas, vapas, bois de l'o.
	I forgot that song.
	We wrote that tree planting one year.
	We were up in Chapelot, Quebec.
	And we wrote a song about Chapelot that went, Chapelot, Chapeleau.
	You know it's going to be hot.
	Chapelot, Chapelot.
	We're not going there to drink water.
	Because we would get a tree planting, we'd get one day off every 10 days, and we would fucking give her.
	But the problem is you would be taking, you'd be being bitten by bugs.
	So your blood was very thin.
	Or was it thick?
	Yeah, your blood was thick to coagulate more.
	I can't remember which one it is, to be quite honest, but it makes you much more tolerant of alcohol.
	See, we couldn't get wasted.
	You'd have to chug a Mickey in the school bus on the way into town from the campsite and then just pound beers all night.
	You'd be lucky to get a bus.
	Lucky.
	This is Bourbon and Sock Month.
	All month.
	We're getting some of that America bourbon.
	May is Bourbon and Sock Month.
	It's sponsored by Merica Bourbon and Heshy Socks.
	We got the socks.
	We're getting the bourbon.
	Every Thursday of this month, we're giving a bottle of America Bourbon to callers one and two.
	That happens, of course, behind the paywall.
	And get a shot glass and stuff and bring the open one.
	Come on, ga.
	And we're also giving away two sets of Heshy Socks to callers one and two.
	Call in Wynn.
	I'm wearing Heshy Socks right now.
	They are very supportive in these troubling times.
	Support veteran and patriot-owned businesses.
	AmericaBourbin.com, promo code Gavin.
	HeshySocks.com, promo code Gavin.
	Thank you, America Bourbon and Heshy Socks.
	And you should, no, now take this one away.
	I guess I can just put it down.
	But I was thinking on the way over here, the second, like I saw my optometrist today, and I see him as he's sympathetic, let's just say, to my political beliefs when it comes to the old Magarunskis.
	And I'm like, all right, well, that's my optometrist for the rest of my life.
	You know what I mean?
	So if you're going to buy bourbon, you should buy America.
	If you're going to buy beer, you should buy Budweiser.
	If you're going to buy socks, you should buy Heshy.
	Because you know that these people are like-minded, so why support anyone else?
	I know I drink makers too, but okay, if you want a slightly less sweet, more scotchy vibe, and you think Maker's Market smells like cotton candy sometimes, America is for you.
	And I actually wrote a song about them, coming up the stairs to the studio.
	Technically down the stairs.
	Want to hear it?
	Why don't you get your guitar?
	I got a lot of errands for you today.
	I went into my wife's jewelry.
	I've been drinking all day.
	I went into my wife's jewelry box cabinet area and I invaded her turquoise collection.
	You have no idea how dead I would be if she saw this.
	This shit is worth like tens of thousands of dollars.
	This is made by Indians.
	This is some sort of antique thing that should be in the American Indian Museum.
	I would be murdered if she knew I had this.
	This is like her diamond necklaces.
	But I'm going to sneak it back and nobody will know.
	It's all for a good, well thought out bit though, right?
	Nope.
	I just was in her bathroom, which I'm not allowed in.
	And I was like, I'm going to fucking take some shit while I'm here.
	You think she doesn't allow you in there because you will just...
	It's not like I'm not allowed in.
	I could take a dump there if I want, but the secret to a good marriage is to keep shit smells away from each other.
	That's how you make a marriage last.
	And also not to hear each other fart ever.
	So what about bed, Gavin?
	You make your fingers like a parrot beak.
	You go right up to the anal lips.
	You open them up and breathe out.
	Even if she's asleep.
	Oh yeah, I have COVID.
	Just like Chris Cuomo.
	By the way, I was thinking of Chris Cuomo the other day.
	He said he had COVID, right?
	Just say you have it.
	And then he said, I've been cleared.
	I'm totally free of COVID.
	The CDC tested me.
	Of course, he gets the top tests, right?
	I think he really did go get tested.
	He pretended he had it.
	Did this sort of Christ coming out of the cave thing, even though we already saw him in the Hampshires.
	And then he actually literally did get a test and say, do I have it anymore?
	And they go, no, you don't have it.
	Oh, good.
	I beat it then.
	And they go, I get, I don't know if you ever had it.
	I never.
	No, I had it.
	Oh, I had it bad.
	I got it bad.
	And that ain't good.
	I'm washing America down.
	Oh, I have another theory, by the way.
	We don't talk about COVID on this show, but occasionally we glance across it.
	I have another theory.
	Some fire FDMI dude who has to go examine everyone who dies and tell everyone else how they died, including guys on the force.
	And he said, weirdest thing, it seems like people who are totally out of shape, fat Pigs, smokers, they die and old people, obviously.
	But then super duper fit guys also seem to die almost as regularly.
	It's the sort of middle-of-the-road schlubs like me that seem immune.
	I was like, huh, that's funny.
	It took me about six hours, and then I went, inject chlorine.
	Take medical advice from me.
	Maybe it's because middle-of-the-road guys like me drink, occasionally do drugs, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes.
	We put shit into our bodies.
	Drink coffee a lot in the morning.
	We pollute ourselves.
	John Joseph of the Cro-Mags doesn't do a bump or grab a piece of Adderall or chug a bottle of bourbon ever.
	John Joseph Cro-Mag is more vulnerable than me.
	That is my theory, and I'm drinking to it.
	I'm drinking to it.
	All right, here's a song I wrote about America Bourbon.
	You ready?
	How do we know our timing?
	Two, three, and.
	And I'm moving from the burbs this time.
	Wait, we got to get in sync here.
	And I'm moving from the burbs this time tomorrow.
	So what's the beat?
	From Perth to Vietnam.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Three.
	Four.
	You got to start not coming.
	Okay, right?
	Okay.
	Two, three, four.
	Cause I'm moving from the burbs this time tomorrow.
	I'll be leaving in the past this fucking town.
	And I'm going back in time to see my brothers.
	We'll be drinking all this whiskey safe and sound.
	And that, the beauty of that is you can keep working it.
	And you gotta ask yourself, Nindo, what you're doing when you're moving in the past.
	All fading now.
	You made me bring this here for that.
	Yeah.
	Unbelievable.
	I'll stand by that.
	Are we gonna keep doing it?
	Isn't it cute how this piece of turquoise looks like a little tie thing, like on a scarf?
	What?
	You don't think that's worth it?
	I wrote a song about one of our sponsors.
	I think that's pretty fucking amazing.
	And it's a good jam.
	Good point.
	In fact, I have to admit, in the back of my mind while I was singing that, I thought, they're probably going to want to do like a video of this and maybe ask me for the rights.
	Maybe have a band recorded or something, or maybe I could record it.
	This is a jam.
	I was in the East Village today.
	It's funny how we can't say where our office is in Manhattan because people want to kill us.
	I can't have my kids on the show.
	I can't have my wife on the show.
	Because why?
	Am I Jeffrey Dahmer?
	O.J. Simpson chopped a woman's head off and he's on social media giving his football picks.
	What did I do?
	Agree with the president?
	Sorry.
	Won't happen again.
	This should hang about here, I think.
	Anyway, people seem to enjoy the last look at New York City we did a couple weeks ago.
	Let's tune in.
	It hasn't really changed.
	It's still deserted, but I don't go to St. Mark's place much.
	And St. Mark's was fuggin as empty.
	It is the emptiest I've ever seen it.
	Well, obviously, it's the emptiest I've ever seen it, but it looks emptier than Times Square.
	I mean, there's still traffic.
	There's still areas that look kind of busy, not very, but sort of.
	But St. Mark's, I'm used to just sort of shoulder to shoulder.
	It's like the Chinatown of hipsters.
	And let's look at it now.
	Yo, here we are in St. Mark's Place.
	There's a lot of parking here.
	Normally, this place would be packed.
	St. Mark's is like a shopping mall usually.
	But now we got people doing birthdays and stuff.
	And this used to be a cool place to get poutin.
	You know, like the Patreon thing.
	What does that mean?
	People doing birthdays and stuff.
	You said it.
	I know.
	I don't understand it.
	People doing birthdays, like celebrating their birthday there, perhaps.
	Okay.
	What the fuck, a block blew up.
	Drea de Mateo lived there, remember from the Sopranos?
	Every time we saw him on the street, we'd always yell, Tell Tony!
	Meaning, like, you know, tell him that tell Tony that the feds got you.
	You're going to get killed.
	Shit about getting killed.
	Yeah.
	Around here, these fuckers will use illegal mushrooms to do important construction.
	These fucking rigged up something.
	And imagine the whole block was gone.
	This whole area was toast.
	There's the 5-0.
	Tuesday, Friday.
	Yeah, I'm good.
	I was checking the signs, you see.
	I don't understand the birthdays quote.
	Do birthdays are like birthday celebrations.
	I guess karaoke places.
	But yeah, you remember that?
	That was what, about three years ago?
	Four years ago?
	That part of where are we now?
	Second Avenue and St. Mark's Down just was gone.
	And what these fucking Russians do is they take bids, right?
	They'll say, yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to charge this.
	So expensive other places.
	I can do this, no problem.
	So they get the deposit.
	They look it up on YouTube, ask a few people what to do.
	Then they go buy the equipment with the deposit and then work on your house, which is okay if it's a wood floor.
	But they do this for the gas.
	And some fucking illegal, and you can make fun of them because they're white, some white illegals rigged up some bullshit gas thing On that part of the East Village and blew up like a major, major part.
	Half of a city block was gone.
	Anyway, I'm getting new glasses because I broke these.
	You can't see this, but they have glue in the middle.
	Gorilla glue.
	And I'm on my third coating of gorilla glue.
	And you know how much this costs?
	I have a guy, so he gets me a deal.
	But this, to get trifocal lens where it's like long distance, nothing, reading on the bottom, $650.
	Ooh, I was going to guess $400.
	Everything is so fucking expensive.
	Even like my trainer from the gym, I go, hey, man, it's been a while.
	Do you do house calls?
	He goes, yep.
	And I go, okay, well, maybe we should set something up because I'm getting back to the Grover bot.
	And he goes, okay, I'll pop by.
	You're a friend.
	Just fucking $125, whatever.
	I don't care.
	I'm sorry.
	$125?
	For an hour.
	Now, to stay in good shape, he should come by twice.
	So that's $250.
	That's $1,000 a month.
	That's like an okay apartment for a young man if he has roommates.
	A good apartment for a young man if he has roommates.
	Now I got roommates?
	And isn't that insane for the fucking glasses?
	I just brought my bike into the shop.
	I guarantee it's going to be 50 bucks.
	Just to run.
	All you have is a flat tire.
	Yeah.
	I guarantee it's going to be 50 bucks.
	I don't think so.
	I think it'll be 20.
	I hope.
	That would be fair.
	When I was your age, we fixed our own bicycles, by the way.
	I do need a tube.
	I could fix a thing, but.
	No, you just patch it.
	And I'm moving from the burbs this time tomorrow.
	I'll be leaving in the past, this fucking town.
	I was looking at real estate today to move.
	The burbs did not work out, folks.
	I feel like the Addams family in the Burbs.
	In fact, the Addams family cartoon appears to be a documentary about my life.
	I can do country.
	I can do city.
	The burbs did not work out.
	That was a fail.
	Kids will have to learn to deal.
	I'd show the trailer, but we'd get booted.
	We can't show trailers.
	We can't do anything.
	This is YouTube.
	My existence on YouTube is sort of like entertainment in an Orwellian era.
	And I think this COVID pandemic has been a dry run for the secret police, for the fascist fucking socialist state.
	And I think they like it.
	I think they enjoy themselves.
	And what disturbs me the most is how much we like it.
	Not me, and probably not you, but them.
	People are just like, yeah, I'll stay in my home.
	I'll rat out my neighbors.
	Like, fascism should be hard.
	It should have some rebellion in it.
	You should have to like, Pinochet had to take people and put them in helicopters and throw them off into the ocean.
	It should be a struggle.
	Mugabe, the head of the World Health Organization, Edi Amin, they had to struggle to oppress their people.
	We're just like, no, no, I'm fine.
	I'll oppress me.
	I'll oppress me.
	No.
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	or as that's pronounced in Quebec, Gavain.
	Should we show another New York or jump to a new news item?
	I made a lot of documentaries today in the village.
	Got this.
	Let's show another one.
	It's like...
	That's not it.
	It's Search and Destroy.
	That's it.
	You know what's a fun game?
	The place next to Search and Destroy looks exactly like it.
	Same picture and everything, same shape, same staircase.
	Take a picture of the place next to it and send it to your old school New York friends and go, fucking Search and Destroy's gone.
	End of an era.
	And they will poop in their panties.
	Just like my wife would if she knew I had her most expensive jewelry on.
	Okay, now you can show the one you were showing before.
	It's like weird Japanese dudes who were really into punk rock and collect stuff.
	It's been here forever.
	Well, Trash and Baudeville's gone.
	So is Jimmy Webb.
	Behind me, Trash and Baudeville used to be like a punk clothing store.
	Sort of like Search and Destroy, I guess.
	Jimmy Webb was a seminal mod of St. Mark's place, 62 years old.
	He just died.
	And with him, I think St. Mark's died, too.
	Russ Roots is gone.
	Gee, that guy from Boston seems really sad that St. Mark's change.
	That's weird.
	Why does he give a shit?
	I thought Bostoners hated fucking New York.
	He probably had Stockholm Syndrome, you know, when he's trashing New York because he hates But if you would walk down St. Mark's anytime in the past 30 years, you would see this weird guns and roses looking dude who was the manager of this old punk store called Trash and Vaudeville.
	Yep.
	And he was ageless.
	He always looked exactly the same.
	Everyone knew Jimmy Webb.
	He was sort of like the ambassador of St. Mark's.
	Jimmy Webb, and by the way, no one in the world is Capable of this analogy.
	Jimmy Webb was to St. Mark's what Nusrat Fata Alikan was to Pakistan.
	And from now on, when I say Pakistan, I pronounce it like Latina.
	Remember that Vice thing where she was interviewing Enrique and she's like, so you are Chuban.
	Do you think that other Latinos are just normally speaking?
	Yeah.
	Have you ever been to Nichegua or Cuatemar?
	There's a guy, Joe Torres, I think his name is, on ABC, and he does the same thing too.
	He's like, so we're looking into the Latino community.
	You're like, you're right.
	Ah, fuck off.
	It's so shitty.
	I don't even say Giuseppe.
	I say Joe.
	This is my friend Carlos.
	Hi, Charles.
	How are you?
	If you have an English translation, I'm saying it.
	Also in the news, our boy Jacob Wall was trending.
	He allegedly paid someone to say they were raped by Dr. Fauci.
	Now, a lot of our nerdiest subscribers are concerned.
	They say, why do you have Jacob Wall on your network?
	He's a fraud.
	Take a step back, folks.
	You don't know the big plan.
	Things are not as simple as they seem.
	Let it play out.
	Just be happy that you're in the eye of the storm.
	Don't try to understand the storm.
	Not yet, at least.
	Want to throw a motherfucker face?
	I also want to make fun of Seinfeld for ripping off Maniscalco, but in front of the paywall, we can't discuss these things.
	Hell no.
	The secret police will get us.
	I think we could get away with this, though.
	This Are You Racist video.
	I got to hand it to these guys.
	What are they called?
	Code?
	Cut.
	They do these super basic videos with just a white wall.
	They probably rent.
	They probably don't even own that studio.
	They probably rent it and they pay a thousand bucks a day.
	And then they probably pay these people $100 each.
	And they get at least a million views.
	I don't think I know, outside of like Justin Bieber and stuff, I don't think I know of another uploader on YouTube who, and YouTubers don't count.
	That's not a real thing.
	Who get a million as a baseline.
	I remember Anderson Cooper did a YouTube Live segment and there was 500 people watching.
	40,000 is pretty decent.
	40,000, you're in the game.
	537, 320, I would just stop unless it's like to show your in-laws your kids growing up or something.
	You're not really doing it.
	A million, you are part of the elite.
	And it's such a simple idea.
	They just sort of ask these stupid questions like, are you racist?
	And listen to millennials pontificate.
	I was like, how can you say that?
	Yeah, I'm racist because I'm a white person.
	I think all white people are racist.
	I time coded it to this because they are so fucking programmed.
	Doesn't that sound like a robot?
	When Stalin ran Czechoslovakia, he would keep people up for three days if they were on trial, and then they would represent themselves and recommend the death penalty for themselves.
	Or when we put Basla Nikuli Basla in prison for the Muhammad video, which Hillary alleged started Benghazi, he came out of prison and went, that video was terrible.
	It started Benghazi.
	Obama and Hillary are so busy.
	Why did I waste their time?
	I'm a fucking loser.
	Thank you for making it just a year, state.
	I'm starting to think there's something genetic about people's need to comply when fascism rears its ugly head.
	Anyway, this woman, that first woman you saw, is a victim of fascism.
	She has been fucking brainwashed.
	Look at her.
	That's a guy, dude.
	I'm talking with the next one.
	Oh, couldn't tell.
	Look at her.
	Look at her.
	I don't mean her, the purple hair, that's loaf-hanging fruit, but I mean, look at her demeanor, her cadence, her tone.
	Like, she's positive she's a piece of shit.
	I'm racist because I'm a white person.
	Dude, that's a video drop.
	Okay.
	Take notes.
	Notes.
	Literally take notes.
	Literally is overused.
	That was a good example.
	It's like my teachers have got me to bark like a dog when they offer a treat, and the treat is white guilt.
	I think all white people are racist.
	We have just been put into this system designed to empower our white privilege as a white person.
	I am super racist.
	I know a lot of people like shape.
	Okay, me too.
	Yeah.
	So then it'd be funny if you bond with him.
	You're like, hey man, I hate Negroes and I think Jews control the fucking Fed.
	And I'm sorry to do a Southern accent, but it just, it explains the joke a lot easier.
	It detaches your voice.
	Yeah, it's sort of like, I always thought it'd be funny if one of these white Rastas was at a party and some Jamaican was new to Brooklyn.
	He just got off the plane and he's kind of uncomfortable.
	Oh, there's so many batty boys, blood clad.
	Everyone got Babylon clothes and in, you know, all the fancy white man.
	And then he sees a Rasta at a party.
	He's like, yo, Rasta, what the fuck?
	What go on?
	Can you believe there's woman here menstruating?
	Can you believe there's batty boys?
	I'm not going to do the Jamaican accent.
	Can you believe there's homosexuals at this party?
	Don't you just want a fucking pow pow in the batty boy head?
	Me no want the batty boy to have to die.
	Meanwhile, the guy is gay.
	I'm actually a gay Rastafarian.
	No, you can't be.
	The top things with Rastafarians are I love jaw, I love pot, I hate gays, and menstruation is gross.
	Well, you smoke the weed, clearly.
	Hi, I'm a white man, and I'm naturally racist.
	That's just like inevitable.
	Oh, cool.
	It's so hard to find racists here in Hipster Williamsburg.
	Do you guys want to go to fag bashing or go burn a cross?
	I'm actually burning a cross just right now existing.
	Okay, so this is interesting.
	This Asian chick, this is a thing now, and it's kind of complicated.
	But Asians have noticed that they're a race, right?
	Yeah, that's a good way to put it.
	Yeah.
	So they know, they see like this currency in complaining about racism.
	So they're like, fucking white people, me too.
	And black people, woke, truly woke black people are like, um, yeah, no.
	Now, this is where I split with a lot of my friends.
	I don't think racism is a thing.
	I don't think black, even black people can complain in 2020.
	That's a controversial belief.
	I'll accept that.
	And a lot of people I respect that are smarter than me, like Ann Coulter, says I'm full of shit and says, no, no, no, no.
	No one else can complain because they're new.
	Like Indians, Mexicans, Asians, they can't jump on the black bandwagon.
	But the black bandwagon has a point.
	Slavery, Jim Crow, blah, blah, blah.
	I disagree with her, but let's take her side of it because it's more mainstream than my view.
	Blacks have a point.
	No one else does.
	Asians make more money than whites.
	Asians are more educated than whites.
	Asians stay out of jail less than whites.
	On every single possible metric you can measure, they do better than whites.
	So you're not allowed to jump into the fray and put your arm around a black person and say, we're so sick of this shit, you guys.
	Fuck, man.
	You had us drinking out of different fountains.
	You had us dressed up Sambo and all that shit.
	We're done.
	Anyway, I'm going to get back in my fucking Audi 5000 and head back to my $2.2 million house.
	Meanwhile, the black guy's like, what does any of that shit mean?
	What is an Audi?
	My belly button?
	Yeah.
	You drive a belly button?
	Guess that?
	So you're not invited.
	Sorry, Mexicans are poor mostly in America, but you're new here.
	So you don't get the racism thing.
	You came here, often illegally, and now you're saying this fucking sucks.
	No.
	Indians and Asians, Lebanese, Japanese, you rate higher on the income, GDP, whatever, the annual income scale, than whites do.
	So you're out.
	You're not allowed to complain.
	I'm going to take culture stance just for the sake of argument here, because I'm too radical for YouTube.
	Blacks may complain.
	They have a background.
	Asians?
	They could squeeze into the oppressor category.
	She's just as brainwashed as that white chick we just showed.
	But what's she got now?
	Go back.
	Yes, I'm a racist.
	We have to go back.
	As a white person, I am super racist.
	I know a lot of people like to say, yes, I'm a racist because that makes them feel like people know that I'm admitting my faults.
	But like, I think that's a weird cop-out.
	Have you experienced racist?
	That's a good point.
	That's a weird cop-out.
	Yeah, it's a good point for a black to make.
	Some fucking rich Japanese who can play the piano with her toes in her sleep and makes $120,000 a year, she's not invited to this discussion.
	This woman is.
	I'll listen to her.
	Oh, heck yeah.
	Are you racism?
	That's a weird cop-out?
	Have you experienced racism?
	Oh, heck yeah.
	I grew up in the south.
	I mean, it happens every day, really.
	I've been slammed on cop cars.
	What do you do?
	I was raping a little kid, and all of a sudden, I was slammed on a cop car.
	I was on a non-consensual date.
	Someone was screaming rape, rape.
	For the future adults.
	She punched me in the face.
	My gun fell on the ground.
	I was thrown out of the car.
	The whole rape was ruined.
	And what happens to that guy?
	He just gets to walk around.
	Stop ruining rapes.
	You know, guns pulled out on me from police officers.
	Context, please.
	Right.
	Cars.
	I've had, you know, guns pulled out on me from police officers.
	Like, that doesn't mean anything without context.
	I've had guns pulled out.
	What were you doing?
	You were just handing a candy cane to your daughter?
	I need to know the story.
	Followed through a grocery store.
	Got made fun of a lot.
	Jing Chong Ling Long, all this and that.
	Okay, pause.
	Pause.
	Jing Chong Ling Long.
	If you've been made fun of, that's what you have to say.
	That's your experience.
	Yeah, that's a good point, too.
	Like, we just had this black jogger who was assassinated on the street because they thought he robbed someone.
	That's fucking scary.
	That's intense.
	I don't know the whole story, so I'm going to wait to pass judgment.
	We'll see what comes out in court, whatever.
	But that's got gravitas.
	Getting shot, going for a jog with two men on a pickup truck and a rifle.
	You got a point.
	Ching Chang Ling Long, when you're in a group that's more successful than whites, that's exactly the same as me being called a cracker or a white boy.
	Exactly the same.
	I've heard Ching Chang Ling Long.
	That was at the Bronx School by black kids.
	Yeah.
	That's another minor detail, too.
	Like all this anti-Semitism going on in Brooklyn with the Hasids getting attacked.
	It's black dudes.
	Yeah.
	And it was fun.
	You liked it?
	Well, I would be pissed off because you're a nip.
	I would say, you should say, no, no, no.
	Say like, hukosoro harikari.
	Oh, I had no idea.
	I believed in most.
	Like, I'm a chink.
	I don't know what I am.
	Oh, really?
	You're a kid.
	You didn't know the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
	I just thought they would do this.
	I know what happened.
	They called you Ching Chang Ling Long.
	And then you went to your Japanese dad and said, hey, dad, oh.
	You're gone.
	You are a chink, chink, chink.
	Just kidding, kid.
	Nothing wrong.
	Sat, sad.
	No, for real.
	You're not a ching chong, ching chong.
	They would do this and be like, look at your eyes.
	And I'd be like, look at our skin.
	Your skin's drastically different from mine.
	I can't impersonate you at all.
	I could do it.
	Yeah, I could do this.
	But now I'm the racist.
	Oh, great.
	You just got us kicked off of YouTube.
	All right.
	We are leaving YouTube now and getting good at it, if you will.
	But before we get.
	Good at it, if you will, Johnny Apple, apples and strawberries.
	Johnny Apple's new apple and strawberry tinctures are delicious and they help you sleep.
	I use them to help me sleep.
	And I need them.
	If I don't have Johnny Apple tinctures to help me sleep, I have nightmares so intense that I wake up going, that's a really good horror movie.
	And we actually were talking about it on last night's show, which you can see if you go to censored.tv and sign up.
	Why don't you just sign up and try it for a month?
	Yeah.
	No, I'm e-begging.
	These episodes are the worst it gets.
	I have to use sponsors.
	We don't have green screen.
	We can't play the Rolling Stones.
	We can't show movies to explain our points.
	So we're hamstrung here.
	You're seeing the bare bones.
	You're seeing basically the MTV acoustic set of the show.
	But what was I talking about?
	CBD and going to sleep and nightmares.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	So the tixtures help with the sleep.
	And I don't have them.
	I have nightmares.
	If you have muscle pain, have some Johnny Apple CBD.
	Right now, my listeners get 20% off all orders at jacbd.com.
	Just enter promo code Gavin, jacbd.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
	And by the way, speaking of new subscribers, we have a new show.
	We have Jacob Wall coming up, I think on Sunday, Saturday, with his new episode.
	Copper Cap's coming up.
	I wonder if he'll be discussing this controversy where he's trending on Twitter.
	And Ilhan Omar, I showed that, right?
	Did we show that tweet?
	I showed Jacob Wall trending.
	Did we show Ilhan Omar's tweet?
	I don't think so.
	Oh, maybe I didn't send it to you.
	Whoops.
	See if you can dig it up.
	Ilhan Omar tweeted out that these people like Jacob Wall will smear you and you can't defend yourself because you're a public figure.
	You can't sue them.
	And eventually it becomes true in the public eye.
	Well, in the case of Ilhan Omar, it is true, bitch.
	You married your brother.
	I'm not following her.
	Weird.
	Oh, I saw a porn video today where it was Alexandria Orquezo-Cortez performing Fallacio.
	Oh, man.
	Fallatio-Cortez.
	Fallacio-Cortez.
	She obviously wasn't doing it, but dude, it was perfect.
	And her voice, she said something I won't say on the air about ejaculation and where it can't go involving swallowing.
	And her voice was perfect.
	Perfect.
	And the face performing the act was perfect.
	If you really looked hard, you could kind of see a few pixels across the forehead.
	But I swear to God, dude, it was like Avengers level.
	Oh, it was a deep fake.
	Well, yeah.
	I thought you meant they casted somebody that looked like her.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Is that what it's called?
	Deep fake?
	Deep fake, yeah.
	Dude, it was amazing.
	And it's actually the end of sex tapes.
	Because now, if someone catches you doing something, you go, that's not me.
	And most of the population is going to believe you now.
	You got the wall?
	The world is full of smear artists like Jacob Wall.
	Some get caught, other don't.
	Nice grammar.
	But the people, don't start a sentence with butt.
	But the people they smear will forever live with those smears.
	She can't speak English.
	Not having legal recourse if you are a public figure to go after these folks is what gives them the license to continue to do it.
	Like Kavanaugh?
	No, of course not.
	That you smeared?
	Right.
	And then he responded, actually.
	Is he still on Twitter?
	Look him up on Twitter if you can.
	He's got to be.
	Anyway, he'll be here with the show.
	And we also have an announcement to make.
	Jim Goad.
	Jim Goad is on the show.
	Now, his episode isn't ready this week, but it'll be ready shortly.
	But I'm confident to announce it.
	We're also looking at real estate today for a new studio, a real studio.
	We did this for a year at a shit studio.
	We generated some income.
	And that's the way you do business, folks.
	If you want to own a cupcake chain, you sell them from your house first.
	You see how it's going.
	We have 16,000 people paying 10 bucks a month.
	We're doing pretty good.
	It's time to slowly expand.
	What are you doing?
	Okay.
	I want you to find Jacob wall on Twitter.
	I think he got banned.
	Oh, maybe it was on Instagram or Telegram or something?
	Ah, he's on Instagram, yes.
	I might have him on.
	We're going past the limit.
	We're supposed to stop this at half an hour.
	Where is he?
	I got him here.
	I got Wal.
	Oh, I have him in Telegram.
	So his response to that you just saw was, Ilhan Omar married her brother, cheated on two other husbands, and committed immigration fraud, which is basically all the same act.
	You know, it's not on Instagram, Peanut Face.
	All right, we're done.
	Now we're moving behind the paywall, bourbon and socks month.
	We're going to be giving out many, a case of single.
	So we have a case of America Bourbon we're going to be giving out.
	But not, you don't get a case.
	I'm really good at talking.
	I should have my own talk show.
	And then we're also going to be giving out a couple pairs of socks to all these people.
	So caller one gets a bottle of America bourbon and two pairs of Heshy socks.
	Caller two gets a bottle of America Bourbon and two pairs of Heshy socks.
	Get America Tipsy with some Hessi swag, bourbon and sock month.
	And you may have noticed that it's effective because I'm slurring my words.
	So the next hour and a half is going to be a shit show.
	I apologize in advance.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Losers.
	Let's go back to that.
	Are you racist thing?
	There's certain clips where I could watch them a hundred times.
	This is one of them.
	And then the town hall, I had Ryan download it the other day because that town hall we showed on what was it, two shows ago?
	What are you doing?
	Enjoying the copyright free.
	Oh.
	Stones and Star.
	Stone Wars.
	Stones Wars.
	Look how strong I am.
	This is what's cool about having kids.
	You show that to a two-year-old and you go...
	My dad is the hook.
	That is incredible.
	Jump the border.
	Just pause, pause, pause, pause.
	You jump the border.
	Sorry.
	Ouch, right?
	You've been jumping the border very recently, so no.
	Like you go up to a black person, you go, hey, slave, go get me something, slave.
	That's fraught with centuries of baggage.
	You've been jumping over the border recently, and I'm pretending you did.
	Did you like jump the border?
	Can you speak English?
	Hey, speak English.
	Honichiwa, I want to eat sushi from your pussy.
	Come on.
	Yeah.
	And by the way, isn't that nice?
	Doesn't hurt to have pussy eaten, I mean, sushi eaten out of your pussy.
	I bet Lady Gaga asked me.
	It's a little too fishy for my taste, but it's complimentary.
	And do you speak English?
	That's the worst you got?
	Can I communicate with you?
	Will you understand me if I convey my feelings to you?
	Oh, you're the manager?
	I wonder if she's the manager.
	I don't think she's the manager.
	Wouldn't that be funny if she's not the manager?
	God, that's the kind of thing I want to...
	Woman was never manager.
	Of course, I'd be racist for looking it up.
	You're the manager?
	Because if you are, that's a valid point.
	But if you're not, you're a fucking weirdo.
	That's like me going, people don't even suspect for a second that I'm a classical pianist.
	They look at me and they're like, you got tattoos.
	You're a dirtbag.
	You can't play box concerto.
	Well, can you?
	What?
	So you're part of it too?
	You're also doubting I could play that?
	It's like no one knows.
	Or let me rephrase that.
	People assume that I can't play classical piano better than fucking Yo-Yo Ma.
	Does he play the piano?
	You're a Ching Chang Ling Long.
	Yo-Yo Ma plays cello.
	Why don't you call him?
	I don't have his number.
	That's ridiculous.
	Just close your eyes.
	They're already there.
	Just close your eyes, which takes no time at all.
	That's mean.
	And then just fucking...
	Let's see if you can play piano.
	Can you play piano, by the way?
	From A to L are your keys.
	Oh.
	A to L. Yeah.
	Okay.
	This is not working.
	I don't know what's going on with the keyboard.
	What do you mean?
	No, it's messed up.
	It's not messed up.
	No, it's not.
	There you go.
	Now you can see.
	It's not really working very well.
	I think it's not really designed.
	A lot of keyboards are not designed to be pianos.
	A lot of complaints will be lies.
	Oh, it's sporadic, so it works sometimes and it doesn't.
	No, it works just fine.
	You know what it might be?
	Your keyboard needs batteries.
	This is true.
	A lot of the keyboards will need batteries.
	Some complaints will be false.
	I guess that just does away with whatever I said.
	You know, David Cross and I, when we were in China, Ching Chang Lingnong, me and the cameraman and this other guy, Trace, whom I no longer speak to, convinced a bar to let us play as a band.
	Oh, no.
	And I can't remember what our name was, like America Rocks.
	And they said, okay, we are excited to have a band in town.
	It's very rare that a band makes it all the way to China.
	She must be good.
	So David sang, I think I played guitar.
	And then our cameraman played drums.
	And it was what you just heard.
	Pong, ping, ping, pong, pong, lang, lang, lang.
	And then David was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, rock it and some German guy started leaving and David stopped the band.
	Shut up, shut up.
	We're like, ping, blong.
	And David goes, where are you going?
	He goes, I don't like this kind of garbage.
	I like real music.
	And then David, not the wittiest line ever, but he Zeek Holly went, take all the juice, put them in the ovens.
	Yeah, it's kind of just like low-hanging German fruit.
	German fruit.
	You are like 200 meters lower than good.
	Yes, Joy Villa is so tall, she has like the Lady Liberty plus 200 meters.
	What?
	I was trying to tell my son that story today.
	What?
	What the hell are you talking about?
	I love that so much.
	That guy is not on SNL because he's ugly.
	Terrible.
	And by the way, we talk about isms on the show all the time.
	There is a powerful ism out there that is unjustified and prevents you from enjoying your life to the extent that you deserve.
	And it's called uglyism.
	They talk about like resumes and stuff.
	A lot of employers will get a resume.
	It looks really good.
	And I often joke about this where I see like a resume with an accountant, and the guy's going to make the money.
	And then he looks at the guy and goes, Oh, a Negro, yeah, and says, No, I mock the absurdity of that scenario.
	However, the scenario of him looking up and seeing a hideous person and just going, Do I really want to look at this every day when I come into work?
	Or lazy eye, right?
	Lazy Eyes look cool.
	I like a lazy eye.
	Me too.
	What's with the TriCaster huffing and puffing him?
	I have this fucking bird outside my window that it's a dove, I guess, but its call is exactly a phone vibrating with an emergency.
	Like an amber.
	And, you know, if someone's dead, if your mother's dead, then you'll get a text and then you won't answer it.
	And then they'll keep texting until you pick up.
	It's like, oh, my mom's dead.
	And it's at 6 a.m.
	Can you hear?
	I don't hear you.
	It's not doing it at the moment.
	Fucking 11 minutes of this shit.
	Never mind.
	They can stand there all stupid and cute.
	I hate birds.
	They were fucking dinosaurs.
	They killed us.
	Fuck you, bird.
	You fucking dinosaurs.
	It's not even doing its damn stuff.
	When you see mammals like mice and stuff, at least they're tangentially related to us, and they burrowed underground and we became an offshoot of them.
	Dinosaurs fucked us.
	With their...
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	But they tried to fucking wipe us out.
	You should hate birds.
	They're dicks.
	Is that the TriCaster?
	You know what you should do?
	Here's a little happy trick.
	Go to your freezer.
	Do you have any sort of ice packs?
	I don't know if we do.
	Do you have an ice tray?
	I don't know.
	Let me check.
	Put ice in a bag and put that on the tri-caster.
	When my projector overheats, it gets really loud and I'll put ice packs on it.
	And it fucking stops making crazy sounds.
	And my wife gets mad that I have a homemade, rickety, home entertainment system that has pipe cleaners and Bluetooth speakers.
	Well, I said put the ice in a bag.
	There's no real contact going on there.
	I'm worried it'll let it.
	Not in a bag, in a bag.
	But they come in shape.
	Thank you.
	We've got to take calls in about 15 minutes.
	We can finally talk about things that are copyrighted and wildly litigious.
	Like something I got to hand to Ryan.
	He was watching the new Seinfeld, and he noticed that Sebastian is biting Maniscalco.
	Who else did we catch biting Maniscalco?
	Fuck, who was it?
	Was it Louis?
	No, right?
	No, I don't think it's Louis.
	He's too fat.
	But a lot of people are doing this thing.
	Why don't you get up, Ryan, and show us what defines Sebastian Maniscalco?
	And now apparently there's this fucking annoying mime in France that everyone's bootlicking.
	Marcel, Marcel.
	Here, yeah.
	Oh, you want the actual mic?
	Okay.
	My mother would have us working in the kitchen.
	You know, you got kids work at slave labor.
	She's got me stirrin'the sauce.
	You're not good under pressure.
	No, I ate it.
	You were so funny with that before the show, and then the cameras go on and you start doing guitar player.
	It feels unnatural.
	I don't know these people.
	When you're at the guitar store.
	And then he has that thing about, my mama was downstairs, my grandma making lasagna throwing the lasagna up the fucking stairs.
	You go, that's funny, Sebastian.
	I love it.
	But I'm also watching it going, that's your thing, okay?
	You're the effusive.
	He has these long steps where he goes out of frame.
	Yeah.
	And that's what makes him great.
	He kind of reinvented comedy.
	He sort of brought fucking slapstick, three Stooges stuff into him being pissed at someone at the gym.
	And I don't like that other people, especially superhero mainstream comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, who I'm fine with.
	I don't really have an opinion about him, taking that.
	I saw him work this material out, by the way.
	Was he doing the Maniscalco shit?
	No, it was a lot less movement, but the pops.
	So apparently, Maniscalco, he's always been the gesticulating Italian.
	Hey, what are you talking about?
	What are you doing?
	What's going on?
	And it's sincere, too.
	You can tell it's like a form of him showing his rage.
	And then he went to see some famous fucking mime, which I think is gay.
	I'm sure there's mimes in America that you could work with to really train him to be an over-the-top guy.
	How do women wear jewelry?
	It's so heavy and uncomfortable.
	I mean, I am wearing all her jewelry, but then Seinfeld goes to the same guy.
	Or they study under him.
	They study his methods.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Now, I hope Maniscalco said, you should go to my guy in Paris.
	He's like a mime guy.
	I hope Sebastian said that, because if he didn't, and then Pierre Carré calls Sebastian, he goes, Sebastian, Jerry was just here.
	Did you know that?
	He's an amazing, amazing guy, such a good comedian.
	And then Sebastian's like, oh, he was over there.
	What were you guys doing?
	Oh, I was showing him some of the things I showed you that made you so famous.
	Anyway, this is just a theory.
	And I'm actually piggybacking Ryan's theory.
	But tell us what you think.
	Show him what you got.
	This is the first bit, the ice cream bit.
	We live here in New York.
	Over here, I'm so sick of hearing about great restaurants.
	Joey, we went to a great restaurant last night.
	It was great.
	You would love it.
	He would love it.
	Wouldn't he love it?
	You would love it.
	That's the face, actually.
	He's got a bit of Fred Armison in there, too.
	Dude, he looks like Ari Shafir and John Travolta.
	Okay, you're off on a tangent now.
	We're trying to figure out if he's ripping people off.
	I don't remember him having bug eyes.
	Yeah, no, no.
	So that's the face.
	Okay, so he stole Sebastian's face.
	You, wouldn't he?
	I didn't just say stole, by the way.
	I know it sounded like that.
	But did you?
	I didn't care for myself.
	But you.
	Yeah, so there's the eyes.
	And then the second example is this is the first example of the miming, as we like to call it.
	Cream falls off the top.
	Okay, here we go.
	Oh, that sucks.
	I know.
	It could have been great.
	I say to you that sucks and great are the exact same thing.
	You have an ice cream cone, you're walking down the street, the ice cream falls off the top of the cone, hits the pavement, sucks.
	What do you say?
	Great.
	So he's a lot looser.
	He's not a stiff ballet performer.
	That's a shitty point.
	Jerry, it's called sarcasm when you say great.
	You're saying that's not great.
	It sucks.
	How is that funny?
	Well, he just came back from a whole Carlin-esque type bit where he's listening.
	He's like, that sucks.
	Oh, I thought it was going to be great.
	That would have been great, but it sucked.
	Well, the first part was great, but then it sucked.
	Oh, yeah.
	4723.
	Should you be really exploring new ways to do your shit when you're fucking 60 years old?
	Just play it.
	You're the Ramones at this point, dude.
	Just play the hits.
	In fact, that's what Jerry says.
	He says, I don't like comedians with new sets.
	Just play the hits.
	I paid money to see you.
	Yep.
	It was like a murder to get a couple of drops of liquidity in the morning.
	We had shredded wheat.
	It was like wrapping your lips around a wood chipper.
	Here comes.
	You'd have breakfast.
	You had to take two days off for the scars to heal so you can speak.
	My mother would make cream of wheat.
	She didn't understand the recipe.
	Mom, the amount of water in this dish is critical.
	You're making it too thick.
	I can't even move my little kid's spoon in the bowl.
	I'm seven.
	I feel like I'm rowing in the hull of a Greek slave ship.
	Getting to say Greek, right?
	Because black is too heavy.
	So he's a lot looser with it.
	He's not going outside of his comfort zone, but very physical.
	Lays on the ground and everything and walks the entire stage length for one joke.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's talking about how when you text, this is a good bit.
	When you text and it's three dots, you see someone else texting three dots and then it goes away, it's like walking up to someone going, and then walking away.
	But he walks away the entire length of the stage.
	Yes, he does.
	You know, Derek Beckles, who one of the few people that's funnier than me, one of the ex-friends who dumped me for Trump, he used to do that all the time just to fuck with people.
	So you text him, and then he would text you and then delete it and text you and delete it.
	So you just see these three things coming out and going away and coming out and going away.
	That's terrible.
	Funny stuff.
	Advanced comedian.
	All right, let's start taking calls.
	Because to get into another subject too deep is going to be too much.
	But I'm a big fan of Sebastian Manescalco.
	I'm there stirring the sauce.
	I'm burning more calories than she's feeding me.
	He's kind of got a Trump thing.
	But I've been watching his YouTube updates.
	Brutally unfunny.
	He's a little too cool.
	Italians can be a little too cool sometimes.
	Hey, what's up?
	Look, dude, we're all old at this point, right?
	You're not gay, so who cares, right?
	We know who's gay, who's not gay.
	That's not a thing.
	Hey, Tommy Bags.
	You don't have to lock the fucking dressing room when you go to change.
	No one's going to try to grab your dick.
	I'm there with Doc.
	I see his fucking butt cheeks.
	He wears like a gay thing that his underwear has no ass at all, just some straps.
	I don't care.
	I'm not bananas about it, but I don't care.
	So like being cool when you're old.
	What's up?
	Yeah, I got three kids.
	Today I played wiffle ball bat with my eldest boy.
	He's got a new wiffle ball bat with a little T. So in the backyard, he can hit it against this net we have.
	And then I asked my daughter.
	She talked to her best friend.
	Said her skirt was too short.
	But then she pointed out that it's skorts or whatever you call it when it's a skirt and shorts.
	And then I said, all right, I guess that's fine because it's shorts.
	So I'm not mad at shorts.
	It just looks like a skirt.
	You're cool.
	And then with my other boy, he took his sister's battery scooter and we scooted around the neighborhood like a fucking pair of badasses, just fucking our hair blown in the wind.
	I was on my bike.
	He was on his sister's scooter.
	It was just like, fuck the world, man.
	Then the kids played on the trampoline and wrestled with each other, the two boys.
	Then we had chicken.
	And I fucking did the dishes because my wife's working overtime.
	My wife's being amazing, by the way, during this pandemic.
	She's so good that I don't even have to do my job.
	I'm just assigned things.
	Like that whole scooter thing I just told you about, she said, why don't you bond with Johnny and ride around on Sophie's scooter?
	He likes that now.
	Just lower it for him.
	I was like, okay.
	I could be pissed out of my mind every day.
	Last night, because it's easy to bond with the older kids.
	They're just roommates.
	So I can sit with my daughter and watch Strangers with Candy, and it's like I'm watching with my best friend.
	And when I'm putting the wiffle balls for my boy, my other boy, it's fucking easy peas.
	Poop, poop, poop.
	He jokes about baseball.
	We make fun of each other.
	That's easy.
	Seven-year-old is tricky because they don't like anything you like except graveyard cars.
	My fucking son loves watching graveyard cards with me.
	I'm so lucky.
	It's my favorite show.
	I sit there and they take back, what do you call Chryslers from the 70s and 80s, Mopars.
	They fix up old Mopars from scratch and make them factory ready.
	They even mimic the paint from the factory.
	It's a fucking amazing show.
	And my seven-year-old is next to me as they, you know, insert a transmission on something that has two millimeters play.
	Sorry, not a transmission, an engine that has two millimeters play on either side.
	And he's just sitting there eating fucking goldfish like, that's tight.
	You're gonna, that's not gonna get in there.
	Need more teddy grams here.
	Watch my Mopar.
	I'm so lucky.
	I'm so lucky that my son, my youngest son, likes car shows.
	We could watch Graveyard Cars, Garage Rescue, fucking the dudes with the bandanas, the guy Mike Horney with the horns.
	Just like tweak, tweak.
	Work on transmissions.
	And he's happy as a pig and shit.
	Graveyard Cars is worth watching, though.
	The amount of information in that dude's mind is just like, I just want to fucking kill him and just put it in my mind.
	I don't want to learn it all.
	It's too much.
	He knows what year that tube from the fucking carburetor was made by reading the code on the side.
	Graveyard cars.
	The guy with the ugly guy with a mustache.
	Oh, wait.
	There's a mustache in the foreground.
	Well, he's old.
	I don't even rate.
	You can tell he wants to give the business to his daughter, and she's just like, sorry, I'm not a human fucking encyclopedia of old cars.
	That's his buddy he grew up with.
	I'm just going to try to find a used or an NOS one that stands for New Old Stock.
	That's him.
	And I'll just send it with the car with it.
	Yeah, just pause.
	This is the thing I learned recently.
	There's the authentic parts that you find in a junkyard that go with that car.
	There's just new ones.
	Then there's a gray area in between where you recreate the original part.
	And you put the paint on it the way it was in the 70s.
	And you make it look, you basically make it indistinguishable from the real original.
	And that's what they do when they can't find the original part.
	Am I being boring?
	No, that seems to my seven-year-old.
	I like learning stuff.
	For now, I got to get the carburetors up, hooked up, the secondary linkage hooked up, and get this thing where it'll run and drive under its own power because we're just playing out of time.
	So while Royal was doing the final assembly of the interior trim panels, Josh and I were pain in the ass.
	But if you don't gay for men, then the penalty is.
	These are the evil that's smashed the patriarchy.
	That's what feminists hate.
	Fuck man, I hate them.
	All right, let me get some paper.
	Some doodles?
	I'll get the doodle can ready.
	Welcome back to Dudes Doing Doodles.
	We got Nick talking about t-shirts.
	Okay.
	Let's talk to Nick, the winner of something.
	Oh, yeah, Nick, you win a Bond America and a bunch of socks.
	Are you 21 or over?
	Awesome.
	I am 27.
	Do you have feet?
	I got two feet.
	All right, you win.
	They don't have to have feet.
	Oh, they can do whatever they want with the socks, yeah.
	I sent you an email just now.
	If you go to your email and just look up I Don't Break Per Cleefs, a little drawing I drew for you, a possible t-shirt idea.
	Oh, okay.
	Got it.
	This better be good because if it sucks, we're going to shit on it.
	Yeah, we're going to shit in your socks and then send them.
	I hope it doesn't suck.
	What do you think, Evan?
	It sucks.
	I like it.
	But I'm retarded, so that means less.
	That's not good, dude.
	You need to practice.
	Thank you.
	All right.
	I'll get your number and call you after the show.
	This is what's wrong with the kids today.
	So much self-esteem.
	So happy with themselves.
	And they just haven't done the work.
	I can look at that drawing in one second and know how long he's been drawing for.
	And it's just not enough time.
	And I'm not that good.
	I used to be great, but I've lost my skill, as you'll see today.
	But fucking put in the work, dude.
	All right, we got a call from the Discord.
	We're going to go back and forth one for one.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	All right.
	First up, we got Casey calling about three hours.
	Hey, Gav, can you hear me?
	Yep.
	What's up, dude?
	Hey, man.
	I just was following the QAnon stuff, and I don't know what to think one way or the other, but I do find it kind of weird that CNN and the mainstream media do several exposés and report on it and call it a right-wing fringe conspiracy theory and such, but they won't ask Trump about it at all.
	And they love tying stuff like that to Trump.
	And it's been going on for three years, but they just won't tie it to him.
	And Trump himself hasn't disavowed it and does more to promote it than anything.
	He retweets pro-QAnon accounts and drops things that coincide with Q drops.
	So my question, I guess, is, especially now with all the Flynn stuff coming out, do you think Trump is actually draining the swamp?
	Or is it even possible to completely drain the swamp of bad actors and career politicians?
	I believe in Q. I believe that Trump is doing a pretty good job of draining the swamp.
	He could afford to have slightly bigger balls.
	He seems to be getting a little trepidatious right now and backing up a bit.
	If he was the Trump that we elected, he would just say, fuck it, back to work, boys.
	Let's fucking do it, Estee.
	Do you think a lot of that, though, is for optics?
	Because if he didn't listen to Fauci and Burks a little bit and give them a little bit of rope to hang themselves, people would just call him a dictator and blame the deaths on him even more?
	Like, oh, You opened up things too fast and you left things open.
	So they're going to say it's his fault regardless, but I think they would have pounded that point harder if he didn't close things down.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	Yeah, that's what's going on.
	He's playing his cards.
	He's pretty cautious with shit like this.
	Like, he'd never pardon the Proud Boys.
	That's way too controversial.
	Way too.
	Same thing with Alex Jones.
	Like, he went on Alex's show beforehand, but I haven't heard him once bring up Alex or went back on the show, and I don't blame him, but it's the same thing as the Proud Boys.
	I find you just.
	Yeah, it's like Greg Guttfeld.
	They just go, sorry, not worth it.
	I got to survive.
	And like you said earlier today, Greg Guttfeld has great ratings, so I guess I can't really blame him.
	Yeah.
	I mean, Tucker's the same way.
	Tucker's never had any Proud Boys on.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Well, thanks, Ten.
	Hey, you won.
	You won, dude.
	Oh, awesome.
	I get the whiskey?
	Yep, you get whiskey and socks.
	Whiskey socks.
	Awesome.
	I love it.
	Where are you from, by the way?
	Can I guess where you're from?
	Do it.
	Etobicoke.
	Four hours away from there.
	I'm an hour west of Ottawa in Ontario.
	I just live actually like three hours from Etobicoke, I'd say.
	In Kingston?
	I'm 40 minutes from Kingston.
	Oh, we're honing in.
	Fuck.
	Perfect.
	Brockville, Ontario.
	Brockville.
	Oh, Brockville.
	I remember Brockville.
	Isn't there a private school there?
	I don't know.
	I'm sure there's a couple, but I'm not aware of it.
	Maybe I'm thinking of Kingston or something.
	I remember hearing about the Brockville boys, because the private school kids were getting fights with the local kids.
	It's a working-class town, so they didn't get along, obviously.
	One more quick thing.
	I know you touch on it a lot, but my buddy wanted me to ask, he loves hearing about all your entrepreneurship and about starting vice and all that stuff.
	He'd love it if you talked more about that stuff.
	Okay, I'll talk more about that stuff.
	All right.
	Thanks, man.
	All right.
	Fucking later days, blaze.
	All right.
	We'll get back to you, Discord.
	Bring snake at ache.
	Fuck.
	All right, we got Michael Jackson breakfast cereal.
	Yo, what up, y'all?
	Yo, dog.
	I love the show.
	Just subscribed like last month and shit.
	Keep up to your work.
	I appreciate everything you guys do.
	Anyhow, I live in New York City.
	I've been debating with my girl because there are no jobs currently available to apply to.
	So I'm thinking maybe I'll just buy drugs and flip that and start selling them.
	What do you think?
	Should I wait until Cuomo, the Lord of all, decides to open up the economy or should I just start flipping packs and making this money?
	That's all I had to say.
	Thanks for taking the call.
	Wait, dealing what?
	Drugs, narcotics.
	What kind of drugs?
	It seems like, probably just weed, maybe pills.
	Seems like that's the only route where you can make money these days.
	Do you have any priors?
	No, sir.
	None.
	Never been caught.
	Yeah, I think it's time to fucking just start dealing drugs, getting some Coke out there.
	I got your number, dude.
	No, I don't do that.
	But I do have it.
	No doubt.
	I appreciate it.
	Yeah, it's good money, too.
	And then you get caught once, and then you should probably stop, right?
	You don't want to become like El Chapo.
	But when you're a young man.
	Yeah, my dad did fucking 15 years of that shit.
	Jeez.
	Okay, so that's when you're getting a little carried away.
	That's time to dial it back.
	Yeah, just don't go with hard stuff, man.
	Just don't.
	What was your dad dealing?
	Like death?
	I think cracking heroin.
	But he went to jail because he fought an undercover cop.
	He has two guns on him.
	He tried to get away and shit like that.
	So, yeah, he did some dickhead shit.
	I don't think it was drug related.
	I'm pretty sure he caught that charge for fighting the cop.
	Put some money aside.
	Put some of your net aside for lawyer fees.
	That makes a lot of sense.
	All right, dude.
	Best of luck.
	Drug dealing.
	Have fun.
	You have our blessing.
	Is that legal for me to advocate?
	No.
	But I don't like it.
	Like, two Proud Boys are in prison now because as a joke, I said, choke a tranny.
	In so many ways.
	We have more calls from the Discord.
	Okay, next up we have Shauna.
	Thanks, Shauna.
	Hello, here you go.
	Hello?
	Can you hear me?
	Yes, yes.
	Hi, Kevin.
	How are you doing?
	I'm good.
	How are you, my dear?
	I'm fantastic.
	I really hope you and your family are doing well.
	So I'll get right into my question.
	So I believe we are about to see the greatest transfer of wealth in our lifetime, a complete change in our monetary system.
	That's likely, yep.
	How do you feel about that?
	Wait, did she disappear from the yeah, we just lost her.
	All right, we're going to go back to a call.
	We'll come right back to y'all.
	We got Cody.
	Hey, Cody.
	I'm not liking this.
	What's going on, guys?
	proud of your boy.
	Proud of your boy.
	And Ryan, would you mind looking up something while I give Dav my shield?
	Go ahead.
	It's Elodi Young.
	She played Electra in the Daredevil Netflix series.
	Chick's a babe.
	She's got goofy teeth, bitchy eyebrows.
	It's fucking awesome.
	That's funny.
	So, since when are we giving these fucking assholes an inch so they can take a mile?
	When you were talking about how all I go is Republican, Democrat, every eight years.
	Fuck that, dude.
	Let's start a draft.
	Let's fucking take shit over forever, dude.
	Fuck that.
	Yeah, you know, I remember in 1989, there were these skinheads who showed up to our show and they beat up the skinheads, Nazi skinheads in my town were starving for victims because there wasn't really any blacks or anyone to fight.
	So there was this dude, Yuri, who was like an Israeli punk dude.
	And so they were excited.
	Okay, we got one.
	So they beat him up and we weren't there.
	We didn't know what happened.
	So we found it happened.
	We ran to the byward market and scoured the streets.
	Ottawa was a small town, so it's not hard to find the guys.
	So we caught them.
	Nice.
	So we roughed them up a bit.
	We threw them around and we kicked them in the head.
	And then we picked them up and we thought, let's, I thought at least I was the oldest of the group.
	Everyone was like 16.
	I was 19.
	And I was like, I'm going to fuck with them like a Tarantino movie.
	So I started like pacing around him and stuff going, you guys are in a lot of shit right now.
	And they were really nervous.
	They were probably 17.
	And I go, you're going to get fucked.
	And then I grab one of them and I go, you know that we fuck our opponents, don't you?
	And I grabbed one of them and I licked his face, like from his neck up to his temple, like I was this weird gay guy.
	And I look over at my crew and instead of them going like, yeah, you're going to get fucked, they all went, what the fuck?
	And they didn't have my back.
	And I kind of feel that way with these people right now.
	Like, they've come up with this martial law and everyone can't wait to just fucking acquiesce.
	Thank you for oppressing me.
	Well, dude, and it's like, look, if they're not putting their best, they're putting Biden up.
	Are you fucking kidding me?
	If they're going to put Hillary and Biden up as their best, dude, why don't we just line them up?
	Like, oh, yeah, in four years, we'll put up Ted Cruz.
	Eight years after that, we'll put up this guy.
	Just line them up.
	If that's what they're going to put forward, how hard could it be?
	So, wait, what are you saying exactly?
	Well, you know how in the NHL maybe, like, they have scouts that are looking at 15-year-olds, you know?
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah.
	You see what I'm saying?
	Well, that's why I said the election.
	That's why I said Ted Cruz 2032.
	I don't think we're going to get a fucking Republican after Trump's second term.
	Well, hey, man, if they keep putting up people like Biden, I don't see why not.
	Biden.
	How about fucking anyone but Biden, you dummies?
	I almost want to coach them and say, guys, guys, guys, I enjoy a good fight.
	Can you get better at casting?
	No shit.
	That's what I'm saying.
	All right, man.
	Thanks for calling.
	We're going to look at points.
	My jewelry's getting all fucked up.
	Let's look at your chick.
	Here's your tranny.
	You know, I got to admit, I'm kind of wary of getting a boner.
	Yes.
	Ever since that video that said Gal Goodell is a dude.
	All the female, like, I don't want to sit here going, dude.
	I want to fucking marry her.
	That one looks like a dude.
	And then it comes back to me.
	That looks like the Legozamo and Tuang Fu.
	Yeah, she's a little too masculine, I'm afraid.
	Look at how long the arms are.
	I'm seeing it now.
	That video that you saw.
	Dude.
	But some my problem with like undercover trannies is there's not one person from their junior high that's gonna go I actually went to school with Brian Godot but she might be because they're from a different country This is actually the problem with trans.
	Masculine women are ruined now because everyone assumes they're trans.
	It used to be the farthest thing from your mind.
	So a masculine woman, like a woman with broad shoulders, could still get a man.
	Now you see one with broad shoulders and you're like, dude.
	Dude, dude, that's like totally a dude.
	Oh my God, I spelt trouble wrong.
	T-I-R.
	Terrubble.
	Get in Terrble.
	Hey, get in a Terubble.
	I feel like a town.
	I feel like Gatta Rubble.
	Ghost.
	This person says ghost.
	This is spooky.
	Can we do a ghost show?
	Let's do a ghost show.
	Yeah.
	For that time that I'm not here and you're doing a show by yourself.
	Hey, first question I had was, you know, you're into grammar and all that sort of stuff.
	And, you know, you like the Oxford comment, which I agree with.
	My question is, I'm from one of the last generation that actually used a real typewriter.
	Ryan probably doesn't know what that is.
	Yes, I do, Stupid.
	And a rotary phone.
	They always taught us to do two spaces to start a new sentence.
	So period, two spaces.
	Correct.
	But now, people laugh at you when you do two spaces.
	They want you to do one space now.
	Yeah, they should laugh at you.
	I laugh at you.
	Why?
	Because you're not on a fucking typewriter anymore.
	But it looks better.
	It looks better.
	No, it doesn't.
	It looks like a retard who thinks he's on a typewriter.
	Computers naturally increase the space after a period.
	By you adding a space, you look like someone who doesn't know they're on a computer.
	Well, does it change with the fonts?
	Like if you use Courier, does it look more like a typewriter?
	Maybe a tenth of a millionth of one pube.
	Stop adding two spaces.
	You look like a total fucking amateur.
	The only time it's allowed is in legal documents.
	And even that pisses me off.
	All right.
	Well, look, my original question was, have you ever had a weird ghost experience?
	I've never heard you talk about anything like that.
	Nice.
	I don't believe in ghosts, but I will admit, my friend Marcus lives in Perth.
	He's in a 100-year-old home, which in my neighborhood is not a big deal, but in Canada is literally a heritage home.
	Like the government will help pay for it.
	It's so fucking rare because Canada is so new.
	And we were stripping it down and rebuilding it, and there was a lot of weird shit going on.
	A lot of it has since been explained.
	For example, in the walls, we found a dog collar with spikes sticking out of it about this long.
	We also found a little baby's shoe in the walls.
	So that had me freaked out.
	And then I was stripping off This part of the thing by the door, ripping down the drywall, whatever.
	And there was a painting of a man with like a hat, you couldn't see his face, holding his daughter's hand.
	It wasn't a very well-done painting.
	And I swear to God, I thought I heard, Leave Me Be.
	And I ran out of that house into, but he lived in the country, so I ran into a scarier zone.
	Now I'm in the fucking woods pooping my pants.
	That was the only time I fell for any of that shit.
	But in retrospect, they, sorry, what am I doing here?
	In retrospect, the Irish immigrants used to put baby shoes in the wall so the baby, in case the kids got lost, they always knew where to come home.
	It was a superstition.
	And as far as the dogs, it was European dogs and weren't used to predators like wolves and coyotes.
	So the dogs would have dog collars with huge spikes on them.
	So if they got bit, it would hurt the predator.
	So I guess, no, I don't believe in ghosts.
	What about you?
	Did you fucking meet Casper on a friendly walk?
	I had kind of a spooky experience once where I was just in like a marketplace, and I had this weird vision that I was going to bump into like a celebrity, not a celebrity, but a sports figure.
	And then I turned the corner of this, you know, right in the marketplace, and I ran smack dab into this person.
	Who was it?
	And it was really, it was a crazy.
	Doug Fluti, he was a quarterback for college in Boston.
	He also played at Toronto Argonauts in the Canadian Football League.
	That is possibly the least scary thing I've ever heard in my life.
	That wasn't meant to be scary.
	I have a feeling I'll be able to sleep tonight.
	All right, we'll fuck with their heels.
	Doug Flu.
	Sir, I'm sorry I called you an idiot.
	I realized by your dating yourself with the typewriter stuff, I'm speaking to an elder disrespectfully, and I apologize.
	Yes.
	Good luck with COVID, you geriatric.
	All right, next call.
	That's spooky.
	Hey, sorry, Discord.
	Pretty lonely in here, huh?
	Guys, I'm sorry.
	I took two calls.
	Now you're at the Discord.
	You guys got two.
	How dare you?
	All right.
	Well, next up, we got Mikey.
	Mikey!
	Mikey!
	Mike!
	Dude, you have to make your ringtone Mike!
	Mikey!
	Hello?
	Hey, my brother-in-law's name, Mike, and I told him he has to make his ringtone that, and he responded with nothing.
	Sure, what's going on here?
	That sticks.
	Can you not hear us?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hello, you big galute.
	Hello, I'm masturbating.
	I'm nude.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	This is hurting the Discord.
	We're going to be more less likely to take Discord calls.
	I know, what the fuck.
	Colin, go ahead.
	Yep, I'm I don't hear anybody on my end.
	This is again Gavin from Colin.
	Hey, man.
	Alright, Layley, go ahead.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hello, where are you finding up from?
	Colin, finding up from New Zealand again.
	Guess Vet Bon, I see.
	What?
	I thought you were Quebecois.
	No, you're making fun of my accent again.
	It's not fair.
	Okay, what is it again?
	New Zealand.
	No, you can't do that one either.
	It's South African.
	South African.
	South African fucking Sikifa.
	Oh, Yara.
	You know what I was thinking about South African chick today?
	Elon Musk is making my mother again.
	He's a great guest.
	But he's a fucking South African, right?
	Yeah.
	How about zero mention of the slaughter of white farmers from all these fucking elitist South Africans?
	Like, just mention it once, please.
	Same with Dave Matthews.
	He's on Howard Stern, and he's talking about how racist apartheid was and how horrible it was.
	Not one mention of the slaughter of his own people.
	Like, can you imagine some Zulu or some Hulu getting on a talk show and not using it to promote the death of his people?
	It's fucking infuriating.
	It is.
	It is.
	You're about the only person who talks about it and JC Lee Peterson and Lauren, but she's kind of off air a little bit.
	It just, it amazes me.
	And it kind of like, if you're a South African and you don't talk about that or at least mention it when you're on the fucking The View, then you're dead to me.
	Fuck you.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I make sure everybody at the pub knows whenever I can get to the pub.
	I tell them the whole history.
	Well, you know my trick, right?
	Yeah.
	You make it about puppies.
	And then when you've garnered it on the sympathy, say, oh, wait a minute, I mispronounced the white people.
	I am so taking that one on.
	I'll perfect it.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Master.
	They boil puppies alive.
	They kill a dog by putting a power drill into it.
	They'll rape and kill the bitch and all the puppies in front of the male dog so the male dog kills himself later.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So this is a fun topic.
	Anyway, what's up?
	I was phoning up because we've got that painting for Justice.
	Uh-huh.
	And we've got the auction link.
	I've emailed it to you several times now, but not sure if you got it.
	Oh, yeah, we got it.
	We're moving forward.
	It's kind of hard to set up an auction site.
	But yeah, we have an offer for $2,000 for the Painting, and we'll put it up on auction and see if anyone beats that.
	Oh, here's the site.
	They got it.
	Oh, you got it.
	Well, the link that I sent you that is a full-on auction site.
	Oh, I'm sitting here telling an artist to do something, and you've already done it.
	You've done it, yes.
	Charity auctions today/slash painting for liberty.
	That's it.
	Okay, great.
	Let's get it going.
	I'll email you.
	You're getting inquiries over here.
	I'll send that link to the guy who pledged 2K, and he can pledge 2K on that, and then we'll see if anyone beats it.
	Which I definitely think.
	Listen, that sounds perfect.
	Thank you.
	Bye.
	Yamasapus.
	All right, bye.
	Bye, Yamasapus.
	Stop insulting my mother.
	Are you calling her mother a silly?
	Oh, sorry about that.
	We didn't know what we were saying.
	I know.
	It's mint with love.
	Yarra.
	Okay.
	All right, yeah, all right.
	Come on now.
	Come on, now.
	Ew.
	Perfect, thank you.
	Hola.
	Hola.
	Hola, Gavini Ryan, como estas mercones.
	What are you doing, man?
	Get to us.
	Why are you lying to me?
	All right.
	I'm calling because I wanted to talk to you guys about TikTok.
	It's something I don't think you've really talked about too much.
	No, man.
	We don't know about TikTok because we see little girls on the Instagram.
	Oh, you got to learn about the TikTok, man.
	Everyone's dancing.
	They're like dancing to a song.
	It does seem like we want to do it.
	No, I mean, that's what I was going to say, though.
	Like, a weird thing that's going on in our culture right now.
	You get all these teenage girls dancing to TikTok, and they dance the same songs over and over again.
	And millions of people watch it.
	It's just crippling vanity.
	The fucking vanity going on with my daughter's generation is shocking.
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	But nevertheless, there's this one chick on it called Addison Rae.
	And you should look her up right now because there's something really weird about this chick.
	Is she a hottie, this Madison Ray?
	Yeah, no, Addison Ray, but it's weird because there's something a little bit off about her.
	I don't know if it's just like she's a little bit choked.
	She's the only kind of chicks we're doing from now on.
	They have to be a little bit weird.
	Normal Beauty is banned from censored.tv.
	It's literally censored.
	She's five years old, though.
	No, she's 19, bro.
	I think.
	I'm 49.
	If I fuck a 19-year-old, God rips my dick off and stuffs it in my eye socket.
	You can still have an opinion, though.
	You can still have an opinion.
	Okay, well, my opinion is going to be, what a lovely young lady.
	I wish her nothing but the best.
	Let's get Ryan's opinion.
	I tend not to just default on lust when looking at females.
	I have a lot of self-control, and I think it's for my own good, my own value, my own worth.
	That's a very attractive child.
	I learned this whole thing.
	What do I need to give you, like a week to figure this out, and then you'll come back to me or something?
	Well, no, she's gorgeous, but too young.
	I mean, I don't really care.
	Too young.
	Well, that's whack.
	Anyway, you guys should do a little bit more stuff on TikTok.
	I think Gavin would have a good take on it.
	The thing about TikTok I think is interesting is that FBI people that work for the government aren't allowed to have TikTok on their phones.
	Even people that are in the family of somebody who worked for the government agencies aren't allowed to have TikTok because they are so invasive with the rights and the information that they get from your phone and your networks and everything like that.
	Ryan's dropping science.
	It's a whole nother side.
	So it's owned by Chinese.
	It's owned by China.
	It's banned from a lot of government security institutions.
	Yeah, no one in the military is allowed to have it either.
	Yeah, it's creepy as hell.
	So that's creepy.
	And then also, you know.
	It's not creepy.
	It's just China fucking taking our shit.
	Being an asshole?
	China being an asshole.
	China is an asshole.
	Yeah.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	Let's go.
	Let's fucking get through these.
	All right, we're going to go back to the calls for a second.
	Yeah, the thing I learned just from commuting to the city a long time, you have to put up your barriers.
	You can't just be staring at chicks all the time.
	And it just got old.
	Well, what I do with staring at chicks when I'm in the city is I go, could this woman be a movie star and a successful supermodel?
	And if the answer is yes, well then yeah, duh.
	Right.
	It's too easy.
	Of course you're staring at her.
	What the fuck?
	It takes away a piece of you.
	You're also scared of fighting Mike Tyson.
	Like, that's not interesting.
	And I feel like it lessens my value because does that girl even have a job?
	Is she just some loser who looks good?
	Like, fuck you.
	I got stuff to do.
	Whoa.
	Whoa.
	We got to call her Evan or Evan.
	Are you drinking whiskey?
	You sound like someone who can't break down the enzymes.
	I'm drinking nothing.
	Sober as hail.
	Ethan?
	What's up, Edith?
	Mikey!
	Mikey!
	You're causing a scene.
	Come on, man.
	Mikey!
	I was just calling about, just to kind of expand upon some of the racist shit that you had on earlier.
	I just want to start off.
	I'm a blue-collar dude.
	I do line work.
	I'm a lineman.
	I was just going to say, it's nuts to me how all these people, you know, like the mainstream media is pushing all this bullshit.
	And then, like, you know, I work out in the city.
	I'm around people like all day.
	And I just, us regular people, we don't have freaking time for racism.
	Like, we're all just fucking working and like trying to live our fucking lives.
	Like, I work with people from all different backgrounds and races.
	And I just, I don't see any of them ever.
	Yeah, it'd be funny to like go up to a construction site and ask them about the hegemony and the patriarchy.
	And do you think that fucking Trump's new thing is racist and blah, blah, blah.
	Like they wouldn't even know what you're talking about.
	They'd go, what's a hegemony?
	We learned all these stupid words in college that I've never used in the real world.
	Yeah, it's just, it's funny to me because we talk about it at work.
	And, you know, like I said, you know, I'm talking to different people, different customers and stuff every day.
	And I've never Once experienced it.
	I've never once seen it between two other people.
	It's just wild, man, how they're just trying to turn us all against each other, and it's just fucking ridiculous.
	Yeah, it never comes up in the real world, which is why education is getting less and less valuable because you're not learning stuff that's used on earth.
	You know, Max Hare, who's in prison now for being a racist, he, proud boy guy, he had a thing at his job on the railroad where you would get into an argument about something and then you'd have to go to the fight room to solve it.
	So he was in there fighting with black dudes about stuff that was like politics or whatever, not politics, but like a disagreement.
	And, you know, that's something that all of these pussies, they'll never experience that.
	They'll never get that close to a black person or a discussion with a black person.
	And he's the bad guy.
	It's absurd.
	Right.
	Yeah, man.
	That's, I mean, I got a couple of guys that are the black dudes that I work with, and we fuck with each other constantly about, you know, I get called names, you know, I asked my buddy today that I work with, I said, dude, how are you so black, but your hands are so white?
	That doesn't make any fucking sense.
	Yeah.
	And I bet he laughed.
	No, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Everybody laughs.
	It's just a fucking joke.
	Like, it's, I don't know.
	But yeah, I mean, I just had to get that off my chest.
	All right, dude, thanks for calling.
	It's a fucking joke.
	It's a joke.
	Sal.
	I'm just here.
	Please, it's a fucking joke.
	All right.
	We got one more call from the call section.
	James.
	James, you're needing some advice, and you're online.
	Hey, you Gavin, big fan.
	Ryan, wanted to tell you that I think you're awesome, and all your impressions are spot on.
	Much better than anything you'd see on Saturday Night Live.
	But I wanted to say that earlier when you got off on Sebastian Maniscalco, I expected you to really go and you gave the microphone back in like five seconds.
	That sucks.
	Yeah, you're right, Carla.
	And you know what?
	Just pause.
	Oh, we have the doodle cameras, the other camera.
	Well, I'll get up now.
	Ryan is really sorry that he blew his Sebastian Maniscalco impersonation.
	He's really good at Sebastian Maniscalco.
	So he's going to be coming over here to my area and doing a much better Maniscalco.
	Hell yeah.
	What's the matter with you?
	Like at the gym?
	Oh no.
	I knocked down Alfred Newman.
	You stare star.
	Oh, I don't know another bit.
	Just make up a bit.
	Okay.
	You ever sit there?
	You're writing your check.
	You're like, let me really get in there.
	Yeah, that's good.
	Why'd you look up at me?
	I don't like it.
	I don't like to do things.
	I'm pathetic.
	I don't think...
	Is that okay, Dad?
	I'm sweating.
	Did I do a good job, Daddy?
	I'm literally sweating.
	I remember I used to do the Mr. Boombastic from Shaggy when I was 10.
	And then my parents gathered the whole family around, and they're like, do it.
	And I just stood there and I started crying.
	Yeah, that's what just happened.
	All right, next caller.
	I beg for attention.
	Pathetic, just pathetic.
	When I get attention, I finally, I just don't want it anymore.
	We got the Discord.
	Hey, guys.
	What's up?
	All right.
	Casey, you ready?
	Yep.
	Another case?
	Go ahead.
	Oh, did you...
	Did you?
	I did, but I got another shot at coming on, so I took it.
	Oh, man.
	Okay.
	Hey, Discord, don't give people two chances.
	We're not like Obama.
	We don't think everyone should get a second chance.
	Okay.
	I mean, you're here, so go ahead.
	So what's up?
	Well, I was just because I had the second chance, I was going to, it's no homework assignment because I know you guys hate that shit, but on YouTube, and maybe you've played it before, Dirty Harry on Feminism and Women's Quotas.
	I'd love to hear you guys play that and just discuss it a bit.
	Dirty Harry on what?
	Women's Quotas?
	Yeah, we're not.
	If you just type in Dirty Harry Woman Cop, it's the first one.
	And you don't have to do any homework on it or skip through it.
	It's just a good clip.
	Gotcha.
	It coincides a lot with what Gavin talks about.
	By the way, Casey, did you win twice?
	I did.
	You son of a bitch.
	You greedy bastard.
	Two calls.
	Well, I got lucky last week.
	I was the only person.
	I don't know what.
	No, that's not.
	Discord, you got to get your shit together here.
	he won once I sent you You won again?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I just got.
	Yeah.
	Fucking case over there fucking not fucking.
	Hey, I'm a big fan, guys.
	You can't vouch for me for it.
	Discord, you gotta have like a little sheet of paper where you write down the fucking names, eh?
	Sorry to be here.
	You're doing a good job.
	I guess it's meritocracy.
	Get it together.
	Fuck.
	This is like the McDonald's Monopoly thing there.
	Yeah, goddamn it.
	Casey, goddamn your socks.
	Your cotton socks.
	Bloody.
	Yeah, I know.
	God damn your cotton socks.
	I'll have an extra pair to jerk off into.
	True.
	All right, we got another one from the diss yep.
	All right, so next up, we're going to go to Pete.
	Talking Pete.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello?
	What's up, fuck?
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah, we can, fuck.
	Can you hear us, Zisty?
	Yeah, I can.
	I wanted to ask about the Jacob Wool situation.
	Okay.
	So have you read, did you read the article that came out today about him in this Sauchy thing?
	Yeah, what was it in?
	It was on Reason.com.
	I did indeed read that.
	Can you mic yourself up a little bit?
	Let's fucking let it pan out, eh?
	Don't assume that everything is as simple as it seems.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I mean, they say they have a recording of him.
	I mean, do you think is he like faking this whole thing?
	Like, he said the recording to them?
	I don't want to get that specific with the Perry project.
	Let's just say Jacob Wall knows what he's doing and getting good at it, if you will.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	All right, I mean, I don't know.
	We'll see.
	Wait, is this Nate Orman or what's his name?
	Ober.
	Is that Nate Ober?
	No.
	Oh, guys.
	It sounds like you're a manic out.
	All right, we'll move on.
	Next call.
	Then we'll go over to call.
	Sure.
	The only one we got left ready to go right now is Mikey, but he was already calling.
	Okay, then he's out.
	Let's go back to normal calls.
	All right, we'll be right back, guys.
	By the way, Discord, you're looking bad.
	We've had repeats.
	Two repeats.
	It might have been my fault because I didn't see the moderators text till now, so I didn't prep them to get ready.
	But you should assume that we're going to go to you every Thursday, if that's what you guys are waiting for.
	And okay.
	We got 617 on the line.
	Hey, what's up?
	Hey, man.
	So last week I called and we were talking about the Betty show on HBL.
	The what show?
	Betty called the Girl Skateboarders in New York.
	Wait a minute.
	When I was a kid, skatebetties were groupies for skaters.
	Correct.
	Okay.
	So the reason I called is it turns out the show was written by your former protege, Leslie Arfin.
	She wrote it?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Now, I remember I bought her book for a friend and I read it, the one that you wrote with her.
	That was 13 years ago, I guess.
	So she wasn't a skateboarder, right?
	No.
	So would she, like, date them?
	Like, wasn't she, like, a riot girl or something?
	Yeah, that was more her Steeze, was Riot Girl stuff.
	I mean, she was a junkie.
	But I don't think you have to be a skateboarder to write a story about female skateboarders.
	Wasn't it mostly that chick who did the wolf pack?
	I think that's what happened.
	The chick who did the wolf pack, I forget her name.
	She's actually weirdly hot in a...
	She's actually the ideal chick for this show in that she's not a standard beauty, That's her name.
	Crystal Wolfpack?
	The show isn't half bad.
	It's very much like the movie Kids.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's the culture of Crystal and Leslie.
	That's what brought Crystal and Leslie to New York, probably, was that shows.
	Kids was an amazing movie, but the whole AIDS thing was just ridiculous.
	That ruined it.
	That ruined it for me.
	Exactly.
	So this one, what ruins it is they frame the entire girl skateboarder thing as they're constantly being harassed and dismissed by males, which just is not true.
	That's so not fucking true.
	So the crux of it in the first episode is that they have a key to get into a warehouse that has a skate park someplace in the city, and they aren't allowed in because the guy at the door he can tell that they got the key from someone else.
	So I know you like to do that bright bar thing where you reverse the roles.
	What if five teenage boys wanted to go to like a figure skating practice and just bust in?
	Like you wouldn't be allowed in, right?
	Because it's a private thing, liability, et cetera.
	It's reasonable.
	So like, why should a bunch of strange underage girls be allowed into a private skate park in New York City?
	So are they painted as a picture?
	Are they making it sexist that they can't get into an illegal park?
	Yeah.
	And like, they don't really say how old the girls are.
	They could be teenagers or they could be like kind of college age, but you just wouldn't let a bunch of like little girls in to like a private skate park.
	It makes no sense.
	Well, yeah, you're worried about liability and stuff.
	I remember when my eldest boy was about seven, he was into skateboarding.
	So we'd go to skate parks where there was guys who were like 20.
	And, you know, they finally got smoking and stuff.
	Yeah, they finally got some time to skate and they were excited to get to the park.
	And there's some little seven-year-old who's not very good at it, hogging the ramp and just going up and back down again and stuff.
	No one fucking gave a shit.
	No one gave him any hassle.
	They remembered being kids themselves.
	That's never a big deal.
	No one cares.
	No one cares.
	It's like a meritocracy and like, you know, who's good and who isn't, but no one vibes you if you fall, which is like a point that they make in the show, like the girl falls on a quarter pipe or something.
	Like never, first of all, never in my life in skateboarding did I really see girls at the skate park unless they were betties.
	And second of all, when someone falls, no one vibes you.
	No, because it's so fucking hard.
	It's one of the hardest things in the world to do.
	So if someone shows up there and is trying, it's basically as hard as, you know, those ski jumpers who will go like a city block and the skis are up like this?
	It's that fucking hard.
	No one's going to see some chick doing that, whatever it's called, long jumping, and go, what the fuck are bitches doing here?
	I hate when girls try to do a long ski jump.
	And now I think she's affiliated with Chet Appentau, too, because she wrote for girls and stuff.
	She and her husband, her husband is close with...
	Yeah.
	So it just seems to me that she walked into this, and I guess it was a pre-existing movie that the show was a spin-off.
	She just walked in and said, like, oh, well, men must hate women.
	So that's how we're going to paint this whole show.
	Like, she doesn't know.
	She has no idea.
	I haven't talked to her yet about this.
	I talked to her surprisingly regularly, But I didn't even know she had done this.
	But it's possible that they're like, look, here's the gig, bitch.
	It's a skate movie.
	There's got to be a lot of sexism.
	So your job is to write about how they get kicked out of this store and that store, and everyone hates them for skateboarding.
	So get to work.
	And she's like, all right.
	Otherwise, the show would be fine.
	Like, it's a fairly reasonable kind of like hangout, skate, New York City, whatever.
	It's just like kids, but in the modern day.
	But like, it's almost as if someone swooped in and just, as you said, just told them, no, we're going to make this serious.
	Like, no, why can't they just be skateboarders?
	It's misandry and racism at the end of the day, where white males have to be shitheads for your show to work.
	I know you're.
	White males are sweeties, has been my experience.
	And skaters, especially, are just like, look, we know this sport involves breaking your ankle.
	If you want to get involved, all the power to you.
	I remember hanging out at Max Fish with skateboard chicks.
	There was like two, both lesbians, and everyone adored them.
	Jamie Reyes and Alexis Labon or whatever.
	That is pretty much the same.
	Those are the two girls from New York.
	Yeah.
	And remember rookie skateboards?
	The chick.
	Everyone fucking loved rookie skateboards.
	No one went, fuck rookie, man.
	That's a chick brand.
	Yeah, so I mean, they took a perfectly decent show and ruined it, in my opinion.
	You're right, sir.
	Politics ruins everything.
	Thank you for calling.
	It's a bummer.
	Now, here's a question.
	You're a comedy writer.
	You haven't had a gig since love.
	You get a call, and it's a girl skate thing.
	This is perfect for your career, right?
	Because you're a New Yorker and you did hang out in that scene.
	So it's perfect for you.
	And then you're reading a script and there's like a lot of chicks being kicked out of skate parks and stuff.
	Do you stop and say, I'm out?
	Or do you go, eh?
	Okay, I guess I'll write a thing where a bunch of sexists say, get out of here.
	I don't know.
	I know what I would do.
	I would say, fuck you, but I've been fired from every job I've ever had.
	But if you're a girl and you're trying to get a career going, maybe that's the problem with women in the workforce.
	A fucking woman, boss.
	Next caller.
	I'll eat your ass.
	I will eat your ass.
	I feel like emailing Rex and saying, dude, you know when we laugh at Alex for saying, I'll eat your ass, we fucking love Alex, right?
	And we got a lot of.
	I will eat your ass!
	We got Doug.
	Hey, Doug.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hey, Gavin.
	You like your wife's new anal beads?
	I don't like my wife being referenced in a sexual way, but that was so funny, I couldn't avoid it.
	We bypassed your security.
	So I know you're from Canada, and I don't think I've heard you ever mention hockey.
	I just want to know, are you a fan of hockey?
	Do you have a team?
	The Habs are my team, but I don't know.
	As an immigrant, I didn't really latch on to it much outside of road hockey in front of our house.
	And as a sort of snobby punk, I didn't really get into sports until my kids got into baseball and I chose the Mets, which I regret.
	The problem with growing up punk is you become this pop culture snob.
	And I got into Bruce Springsteen about three years ago.
	I heard of the Rolling Stones like five years ago.
	And it's such a waste to be a fucking pop culture snob because you miss out on really cool shit like hockey.
	So no, I didn't really grow up with teams in hockey.
	I know the Hams, they have a really cool opening ceremonies for their first game of the year.
	I don't know.
	Have you ever seen that?
	No.
	Yeah, check that out.
	It's pretty cool.
	It's all in French, so you'll appreciate that.
	So is Maurice LaRocket Richard?
	Remember that remember the Guilla Tourneau, that story of the Toronto Mepalifs jersey that he got?
	You ever seen that?
	You know that thing?
	I don't.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	We're going to show it.
	Look up Guilla Tourneau.
	So Guy is G-U-Y.
	Latourneau.
	L-E-T-O-U-R-N-E-A-U.
	Latourneau.
	All right.
	And I think Latourneau is all one word.
	But there's a story about a French kid.
	He wants a...
	No, no.
	Just a cartoon.
	He wants...
	Wait, what did you...
	Just do Guilla Tourneau Toronto Maple Leafs, I guess.
	There we go.
	The Toronto Maple Leaves.
	Isn't it Leaves?
	See if you can see a cartoon.
	No, no, it's not Leaves.
	What the fuck?
	I'm saying the Toronto Maple Leaves spell their name wrong.
	That is bogus.
	See if you can see a cartoon there.
	What the fuck?
	Oh, I guess we're in Canada and America.
	The Toronto Maple Leaves.
	Anyway, I could look for it while we take this call here.
	There's a funny story about a French kid getting a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, which was unthinkable.
	Jeff.
	Hey, guys, Kimmy?
	Oh, yeah.
	All right.
	So I was calling you about something else, but I wanted to slightly disagree with your point about starting sentences with But I find that however it gets too repetitive, I don't like saying the same word over and over.
	And you can use it in like a punchy way.
	Yeah, you're right, dude.
	But it's like starting a sentence with and.
	It can be done.
	It can be grammatically correct, but it should be frowned upon.
	I see it as like a semicolon.
	There are times when you will use it, but it's like once a year.
	Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.
	And I was arguing with a dude the other day.
	I was like, I want to start, there are some grammatical mistakes I'm going to start making.
	Like, and it might be because of texting, but for example, Sean Lennon has a lot of musical instruments at his house.
	And then the next sentence has to be, he has drums, a keyboard, a recording studio.
	I don't want to fucking say he has.
	You know what I'm talking about.
	So I want to break the rules and say Sean Lennon has a lot of instruments at his house, period.
	Next sentence, drums, keyboards, blah, blah, blah.
	And the next sentence is a list.
	That doesn't have a verb, but fuck you.
	Yeah.
	And the ending sentences with pronouns thing, everyone does that.
	It sounds ridiculous when you don't do it.
	I had a boss who used to, who was so dedicated to that rule that instead of saying, you know, I never had a scarf to begin with, he would say, I never had a scarf with which to begin.
	And it sounded ridiculous.
	Yeah, that's gay.
	So yeah, we can break some rules, but yeah, but, but is a bad habit.
	And like, I've been listening to these kids in my neighborhood now talk on the phone.
	Fucking Jesus.
	By the way, I hope having a checkbook on the thing isn't going to get us hacked.
	But Jesus Lord, they say like a lot.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, they do.
	It's filler.
	Hard times to break, but you just gotta focus on not saying that word specifically.
	And I do it sometimes too.
	I know.
	I'm like, I have to say like all the time.
	I'm like, why am I saying that?
	Okay, I got a piss.
	Next call.
	All right, we're going back to the Discord.
	We're going, going back to Discord.
	Discord.
	Yep.
	All right, Benzinator, are you ready?
	Yeah, I'm ready.
	Go ahead.
	I can hear him.
	I'm just pissing.
	He can hear you, so go on now.
	All right, well, if they can't hear us, you might want to prompt them to just say it.
	Oh, yeah, no, but we're screening everyone.
	Okay.
	Get him in here.
	I'm not sure what's going on.
	Hey, Benzin, are you there?
	Oh.
	Yes, I'm here.
	All right.
	So I got your book, The Death of Cool.
	Pretty funny.
	Funny as hell.
	But I was wondering about the HuffPo review.
	How did you end up getting that?
	And have any of these fat, feminist tons tried to take away their review they gave you?
	I don't know.
	Is it good?
	It's pretty damn good.
	The one with it's too weird with the hookers in the car.
	That was funny as shit.
	No, no, I mean, thank you.
	But the HuffPo review.
	What does the HuffPo review say?
	Insanely hilarious.
	Oh, hold on.
	It's on the cover.
	Oh, it's on the cover.
	It's on the review.
	Hello?
	Hi.
	Hi.
	You want to say you're on the air?
	What are you doing?
	My show.
	I'm so fucking boring.
	Okay.
	Troubles in Paradise.
	Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
	You're live.
	I'm recording a live show.
	Dude, fucking call Mikey.
	Come on, sir.
	I can't take it.
	Okay, well, I could stop recording my show and head over there.
	Can we just put on a Motley Crew record and do a shot at Tequila?
	I want to kill myself.
	This is poor.
	What's the point of indicating that?
	Honey, I'm actually live on the show right now.
	I'm happy to do a quote-unquote shot of Tequila and listen to this metal band you're speaking of.
	I'm not familiar with.
	Motley Crew.
	Whatever.
	Whenever you can come back, I can take it.
	Okay.
	Bye.
	I am definitely getting laid tonight.
	I'm so definitely getting laid that I want to stop drinking.
	So it works?
	Yeah, so I can like...
	You know what I mean?
	Sorry, what was your question, sir?
	Yeah, the HuffPo review on your book, Huffington Post, gave you a good review.
	I was not persona non grata back then.
	That was 2010.
	So it was pre-Trump, pre-Proud Boys, pre-fucking, Obama was in office.
	We were the losers.
	I was pitching comedy shows, making movies.
	Everything was fine back then.
	And Nikki Glazer had me on her podcast.
	Nikki Glazer probably wouldn't look at me on the street right now.
	And it's the same.
	Jared Taylor wrote a book called Pave with Good Intentions that I want to put.
	I'm going to compete with Milo with his reading list and do my own.
	But Milo sent me these reviews of Jared Taylor's book, and it was like Washington Post and fucking New York Times and all these people saying how wonderful it is.
	And now Jared Taylor's not allowed in the same state as you.
	And it's weird how in 10 years the narrative will shift from, oh yeah, we got this funny guy who wrote this funny book.
	And then 10 years later, oh, he's a Nazi.
	He's this.
	He's that.
	How do they get off from going from that one narrative, changing it all the way to the other?
	Well, they just say that the guy changed.
	And then to that, you say, okay, can I have some evidence?
	Like, can you show me the guy saying that like feminism rocks in 2010 and then saying feminists are boring in 2020?
	There's none of that.
	It's the background that changes.
	I see that.
	The narrative has been Shifted so hard to the left.
	It's getting crazier and crazier every day.
	Another one.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	Hey, Discord, do you have another one?
	Yeah, we got more.
	All right, here's one more, then we'll go back to the call.
	All right, Vesh, you are up.
	Okay.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, I just had a question about fundraising and things like that for products.
	If you had a product or an idea in this day and age and you weren't already wealthy, would you bother with any of the venture capitalist firms these days?
	Or would you try to bootstrap it about as far as you could?
	Well, you should always bootstrap everything as far as you possibly can.
	And that will lead to more investment, too.
	People don't want to sit down with you and go, I have an idea.
	It's a chain of cupcake stores.
	They want to see that you've been doing it from your garage for a while, and then they want to see that you have your own cupcake store.
	But what kind of product are we talking about loosely?
	I know you guys are so scared.
	We're going to steal your idea.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	We had this app for OCD that we ended up having to search high and low for Capital for, and we found it in Chicago.
	So none of us could stay together in San Antonio.
	Half the crew had to go to Chicago to kind of finish it.
	So it's been through like a couple of Series A rounds and went all right.
	But now that I've got a little more, I would rather not have to seek fundraising.
	I have a bunch of my own security software and RF software.
	And I said, okay, well, what do I want to do with a bunch of this stuff?
	Do I go for another VC type thing?
	Or do I sit here with the group of guys that I got and try to bootstrap it about as far as I can?
	Well, it depends who you are as a person.
	Do you have any energy for marketing, for fundraising, for that kind of stuff?
	I don't.
	So usually when I start a company, there'll be a marketing guy, a big picture guy, and I go, can you just fucking do this?
	I'll give you more content than you can ever handle, but I just, I can't do the marketing thing.
	If you have any inclination to do marketing, then you should do it yourself.
	You know, every brand needs a hipster, a hacker, and a hustler.
	I'm the hipster.
	I guess Ryan's the hacker in this case, which is depressing.
	And I have a guy that's a hustler.
	If you can take up any of that slack, then do it yourself.
	Obviously, you want maximum equity of your own company.
	Right.
	Yeah, so when, yeah, and the product that was, that actually went, because, you know, you have 10 things that you do and nine of them fail, and then you got one that goes well.
	So, but for us, it was a no CD, NO CD.
	That was the app.
	There it is.
	So I saw you looking it up.
	Yeah, I was their first CTO, COO, you know, fucker.
	You tricked me into advertising this.
	No, no, you didn't ask me to pull it up.
	No, no, I don't work.
	I don't work for that.
	I just have my shares.
	I work for me now.
	I don't do that anymore.
	Well, anyway, the answer to your question is, obviously, you want as little venture capital as possible.
	You want to retain your equity for as long as possible, but don't exhaust yourself.
	Like, I'm amazed at how many people say no to buyers.
	I always just say yes.
	There was this guy, what the fuck was the name of the company?
	It was like Super Freak or something back in 2000.
	And they had a t-shirt company.
	It was called Super Sucker or Super Freak, something like that.
	And they go, some Japanese company wants to buy the name.
	And I go, well, fucking sell it.
	What is it?
	It's just a name you came up with and you did a bunch of t-shirts.
	That's the easiest thing in the world.
	And he goes, well, they only want 100 grand.
	That's going to be 50K for me, 50K for my partner.
	Then after tax, it'll be like 30.
	I go, who cares?
	Sub-freaky.
	Holy shit, I can't remember.
	I can't believe I remembered that.
	And I said, just fucking sell it, dude.
	If you're gifted and you're good at selling shit, then sell another one.
	I mean, start up a new thing.
	Like, if you're selling a restaurant and you're a brilliant guy at selling restaurants, then you'll just make a new restaurant.
	It's sub-freaky IE.
	Ah.
	Anyway, that's my answer to your question, sir.
	Yeah.
	Don't exhaust yourself, but hold on for as long as you can.
	Not a lot's coming up from this.
	Yeah.
	Well, it was 2000.
	It was 20 years ago.
	Shit, man.
	Is it in the top 200 t-shirts?
	Sub-freaky, yeah.
	The best 100 t-shirts of 2000.
	I think he just ended up not fucking getting any money.
	What does that mean?
	Like, just say yes.
	I remember Curtis, the guy had a restaurant with.
	Someone wanted to buy his restaurant for 80 grand.
	And it was a taco truck.
	And he goes, dude, if we have two good years, we'll make 80 grand.
	And I go, yeah, that's two good years.
	That's not likely with taco trucks.
	So fucking sell it.
	And if you're really good at business and restaurants, then you'll come up with another idea and you'll sell that.
	It's like being a painter.
	You made it a good painting.
	Sell it and you'll make another good painting.
	Then I proceeded to lose fucking 10 grand on that fucking restaurant.
	We got this Cardinal, Cartoon.
	Oh yeah.
	This is seminal Canadian content, eh?
	This poor, poor guy.
	Guilla Tourneau, we all had to read him.
	French author.
	He's so mediocre.
	And he hated English people.
	The girl.
	We miss you.
	In a small village in Quebec, two events were mandatory.
	The mass on Sunday and the Saturday night hockey game.
	Look at affirmative action in a country.
	This is the CBC paying for the animation.
	So go forward.
	He begs his parents for a hockey jersey and they give him he wants obviously the Monchaux Canadien.
	Les Abs.
	And his mother gets him the Taranto Mepa Life.
	There it is.
	Show him open.
	That's something funny, too, about Canadian culture that Americans don't get.
	Nor should they, but just pause.
	In Canada, it's all about language.
	And the Quebecois hate us.
	So for a Quebecois kid to get a Toronto hockey jersey was just like, that's like Black Lives Matter shirt for the Klan.
	So when I immigrated here in 99 and I see that they don't care about language, I go, this is awesome.
	We're finally done that stupid debate.
	And then they go, no, it's race here, though.
	What?
	Race?
	Anyway, look at what it's like for a French kid to get an English jersey.
	The sweater, Mr. Eton had sent the blue of the Toronto Maple Leaves.
	Toronto Maple Leaves.
	I always worn the red, white, and blue sweater of the Montreal Canadia.
	All my friends wore the red drawn by a retard.
	And besides, the Toronto team was always being beaten by the Canadia.
	With tears in my eyes, I sounded science to say.
	You know what I just realized?
	After seeing this 1,000 times and having to study it in class for some fucking reason, I think he's lying.
	There's no way the Le Tourneaux would not know that you don't buy a French kid a Toronto Mapolis jersey.
	And then making him wear it?
	This is a fucking lie.
	This seminal piece of Canadian history is a fucking lie.
	He knew it would get him a grant and he could go on the CBC and they would make an animated bullshit version of it.
	You're a fucking liar, La Tourneau.
	It's a G damn fable.
	I trust too many people as I was a young man, but as you get older, you start thinking about all the things they say, Lo, and you start going, wait a minute, you are lying.
	Is that him?
	Like Derek Beckles, and he told me his mother almost died in World Trade, and we were crying for her on 9-11.
	And then maybe 10 years later, I said to myself, wait, you left the building to go do photocopies?
	Is that guy Later?
	No.
	Yeah, you're lying.
	All right, we got what?
	Is that him?
	No.
	Let's do one more call and we're done.
	I don't care.
	We got Kara.
	Kara.
	Better be talking about something we care about.
	Yo!
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Hey, Koa, not Kara, you fag.
	I'm sorry, girl name.
	JK.
	Anyways, I got a question for Gavin.
	Hey, I just broke up with my chick recently, and it's kind of because she's getting all my shit about a little bump of Coke here and there.
	Motherfucker.
	How does your wife treat you?
	Dude, if I came back with a bag of Coke right now with three kids, my wife would go, what are you, what are you?
	Okay, I mean, maybe I'll do one little toot, but this is ridiculous.
	You're way too old to be bringing this home for crap.
	She's not fun.
	Fuck her.
	Okay.
	What?
	I got another question.
	When you're laying in bed and you go, you need a fart and then you open your antelips to fart.
	What if it smells really bad?
	She's asleep.
	It's not going to smell bad enough to wake her up.
	Sometimes it does.
	Well, that's at least better than a trumpet before it reeks.
	All right, dude.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thank you, Rob.
	Guys, this has been a blast.
	And I would like to end the show by saying, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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