We avoid the virus once again and try to figure out why cars are so ugly these days? Is it women’s fault? Garage Rehab’s Chris Stephens joins us and tries to solve the problem. But first, we explore Forrest Gump, booze safes, and how weird Penn Station at night.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Yo, what's up? | |
| Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn. | |
| Before we start the show, I just want to give a shout out to DMS Danny Diablo. | |
| I just read on the way up the stairs that some dude from the Trapped, not the Ottawa punk band, but some other metal core band has just started beef with Danny Diablo of DMS. | |
| That's fucking dumb. | |
| This is what's so funny about Twitter. | |
| This is shitting on Ryan, shitting on Gavin, then you shit on Danny fucking Diablo, who I'm nervous right now saying that he's not someone to fuck with. | |
| It's sort of like Chuck Zito. | |
| Like everyone who respects him, you go, Chuck Zeto, you, hey, do you respect Chuck Zeto? | |
| And people go, yeah, yeah, I do. | |
| I don't want any trouble. | |
| You fucking dummies. | |
| You picked a fight with him? | |
| Honestly, the dude from the trapped should just leave the country. | |
| That's what I would do. | |
| If you start a war with Danny Diablo, I think it's smart just to get a passport, move to like Turkey and teach English. | |
| Everyone needs an English teacher. | |
| Everyone, I mean, in this shithole country. | |
| All right, before we get started, Bubba and Hanks, 100% veteran-owned and operated Wagyu Beef Farm. | |
| They shipped me a crate of stuff two weeks ago. | |
| I'm slowly making my way through it. | |
| It's unbelievable. | |
| It's so good. | |
| Wagyu filet, wagyu T-bone, wagyu chuck, wagyu ribeye, wagyu ground beef. | |
| The ground beef I made into burgers and it changed my entire family's life. | |
| We can't have normal burgers again. | |
| And what we're going to do after we go behind the paywall in half an hour, we're going to be giving away $50 of stuff. | |
| Tonight I'm giving callers one and two each. | |
| Oh, I didn't even know this. | |
| Free $50 gift cards to Bubba and Hanks. | |
| And it arrives in this styrofoam thing, frozen. | |
| You thaw it out in the fridge. | |
| Don't just thaw it out, you know, on the counter or do something stupid like thawed out in the microwave. | |
| Thaw it out in the fridge slowly, throw it on and proceed to die. | |
| You'll die a death more sweet than the cows. | |
| Cows. | |
| So support veteran-owned business. | |
| All right. | |
| This is what, day four of party week. | |
| Monday we did it back in the burbs and then we moved our offices back to Manhattan. | |
| We moved the TriCaster and all the lighting and everything, the soundboard back to Manhattan. | |
| On Tuesday, Tuesday we did the show. | |
| And this is our first GOML live in Manhattan. | |
| And I got to say, a little bit different in the day. | |
| We've been shooting in the day and there's no parking still, which is weird. | |
| We park in a parking garage, but I got parking tonight. | |
| And dude, I drove by Penn Station trying to get those beers. | |
| Every time I say beers, I turn it into a Canadian. | |
| Beers? | |
| Beers, these fucking beers. | |
| And Penn Station is unique. | |
| Maybe because some people are still coming in from Grand Central, I guess, from like Long Island. | |
| And no, Long Island is Penn Station. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| Oh, I know why, because the only people in town are construction people and they leave at 3 p.m. | |
| So Penn Station is Dawn of the Dead. | |
| I dare you to go there right now and just wander around. | |
| You will get AIDS on your eyeballs. | |
| What is the Danny Diablo trapped thing, T-R-A-P-T? | |
| And why are you looking at our own site and not looking up that? | |
| I'm going to count the things you do weird. | |
| Not wrong, because you're no longer wrong. | |
| Trap tries to take on Danny Diablo after he sides with ice tea and Twitter beef. | |
| Look at the guys on the right and look at the guy on the left. | |
| What are you thinking, dudes? | |
| I remember there was this guy, David, who spelled his name D-V-I-D, David without the A. | |
| And he just kept fucking with Danny Lord Isaac again and again and again. | |
| And I don't want to incriminate anyone legally, but it ended up real bad. | |
| Real bad. | |
| Any his. | |
| Yeah, I've got, we don't talk about coronavirus on this show anymore. | |
| I don't know anything about it. | |
| We've given up. | |
| We don't wear masks. | |
| We hang around. | |
| We have officially thrown in the towel. | |
| I think this thing has a shelf life, and it doesn't really matter what you do. | |
| 40 days from the beginning, it peaks. | |
| 70 days after it's done. | |
| I did your little game. | |
| I stayed at home. | |
| I'm done. | |
| My wife still won't let the kids have play dates, but I'll convince her soon enough. | |
| Yeah, I don't believe it. | |
| I wear the mask for everybody else to not look at me like I'm a butthole. | |
| Well, it's funny because when I was getting the beer, the guy at the beer store said, Sir, do you have to wear the mask? | |
| And I was like, okay, next time. | |
| But then when I was outside, everyone had a mask, the three people there. | |
| And I thought, what if some dude was like, hey, man, where's your mask? | |
| Now, my first instinct with that kind of thing is, fuck you. | |
| And if it was like I was on a bicycle and the guy said, where's your helmet? | |
| I'd go, thanks, Dad. | |
| safety first, or something like that. | |
| But this is different, because it's almost like- You cannot shop here. | |
| It's almost religious. | |
| It's almost like, oh, okay, I'm an atheist when it comes to Corona, but you believe in it. | |
| Oh, here we are talking about Corona. | |
| Okay, more important things. | |
| Today's the cars episode. | |
| I am in the market for a new car, which I don't think I am anymore because the prices are going up on a regular basis. | |
| I'm never going to financially recover from this. | |
| And he never did. | |
| But I'm so frustrated by the way they look. | |
| Look up any car right now. | |
| Look up 2020 Jaguar, which Jaguar used to be the most beautiful car in the world. | |
| In fact, I remember when I was a kid, my dad would always say, no, marketing's very effective. | |
| You know, I don't believe in cows. | |
| I couldn't care less about a cow, but I want a Jagya. | |
| And he was saying this, by the way, when I was a kid. | |
| So like 1980, they were beautiful back then. | |
| But look at these. | |
| Okay, of course, yeah. | |
| All right, that looks pretty cool, actually. | |
| Yeah, the rear of it looks cool, but then the front of it looks like a freaking huge. | |
| Keep going, keep going. | |
| Whoa. | |
| Okay, those look. | |
| Looks like a stiletto. | |
| They seem to fix the problem. | |
| Yeah, but the front of this is a little too... | |
| Well, it's Porsche, but still kind of nice. | |
| Porsche? | |
| Wow, those look. | |
| This is not helping my point. | |
| It's still pretty sick, but the last time I looked up Jaguars, they were, yeah, there we go. | |
| Look at that blue one. | |
| Yeah, that's a piece of Japanese. | |
| That's a Jaguar. | |
| Like when you dump your wife because you won the lottery, which is why all people fall out of love, and you get a trophy wife, you can't be seen in that blue fucking secretary car. | |
| You don't like a car that has like the front of a Volvo and the body of a Subaru? | |
| What is that? | |
| And it's so funny. | |
| I can't even tell. | |
| Like when I'm on the highway and I see a Porsche SUV, which should be an oxymoron, you see a Porsche SUV and you go, well, this must be the coolest looking SUV ever. | |
| No, it looks like every other, it looks like a minivan. | |
| There, now we're getting stinky. | |
| All right, that's good. | |
| That's pretty cool. | |
| This is not helping my point. | |
| From now on, I'm going to research and make sure I have the fake news visuals. | |
| Okay, look up the Porsche SUV. | |
| Okay. | |
| And don't name the year, because it appears that everyone's been listening to me ranting for the past two years. | |
| Yeah, that's a Porsche. | |
| You're driving in a Porsche? | |
| Go down a bit. | |
| Cars are especially bad when they're blue. | |
| Like light blue. | |
| I have a light blue car. | |
| Fuck you. | |
| Blue shoes piss me off, but I see the blue car. | |
| Oh, I hate those blue shoes that are like dress shoes, but they'll be blue suede with a white sole. | |
| It's like, these are not your grandfather's dress shoes. | |
| I'm reinventing the wheel with this shit. | |
| So anyway, we have Chris Stevens from Eurotech Classics. | |
| You may remember him from the show Garage Rehab. | |
| I'm really into car shows, and I don't know anything about cars. | |
| There's like two genres, and there's the Richard, what's his name? | |
| Stevenson something? | |
| And he doesn't dress so bad. | |
| And he does, he does, he's Monkey Garage and the more normal shows. | |
| But then there's these other shows like Car Rehab and fucking, I can't remember them now. | |
| Well, Garage Rehab was Chris's show. | |
| Yes. | |
| But there's Counting Cars with this dude, like Horny Mike, who has horns on his bandana, and they have these beards that come down to here with like a ponytail on it. | |
| We should do a whole, let's have Chris as a regular guest and do a whole show on what the fuck are you dressed as? | |
| And when you think of mechanics from coast to coast, top to bottom, how many of them have a balding mohawk? | |
| Look at that thing. | |
| That thing has five receding hairs. | |
| That was invented as a way of saying, you're not allowed to be into this after 22. | |
| It's for the youth. | |
| And we put in certain stopgaps, such as you can't have a mohawk if you're balding, but not car guys in LA and Nevada. | |
| They're like, oh yeah, check this out. | |
| Oh, their facial hair with like zoop, joop, jeep, jeep. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| That's just like 15 comovers standing straight up. | |
| What does the car guy in Wisconsin, northern Wisconsin, think when he sees these shows? | |
| Anyway, so we'll talk to Chris about the death of cars. | |
| I blame women, of course. | |
| Like I blame them for everything. | |
| But I also think environmentalism might be a factor where they go, make it look like shit and it's better for the environment. | |
| Or make it look like shit so it crumples like aluminum foil. | |
| Or make it, it doesn't have to be fast. | |
| There he is, looking particularly greasy. | |
| So we'll get to him in about 10 minutes. | |
| Can you get him ready and waiting on Skype, but not too right this second because he's not going to stay on hold for sure. | |
| Yeah, we've been messaging him. | |
| Oh, sure, sure. | |
| I sound sound. | |
| Sounds hound. | |
| Also in the news, when I left the house this evening and went to pick up Ryan, who's dressed as, what, a caretaker? | |
| Like Q from James Bond. | |
| After James Bond died and you're arranging his funeral? | |
| Oh, this is like it's a cardigan with a... | |
| You look like you're in that HBO show Six Feet Under. | |
| No, you wish I was. | |
| Except Asians died. | |
| Cool. | |
| I wish you worked at a funeral home, but as a client. | |
| That means I'd be dead. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, speaking. | |
| Okay, so we'll get to that. | |
| So Forrest Gump, I was just watching that as I was, you know, grabbing my glasses and heading, grabbing my car keys. | |
| That movie, I forgot. | |
| I haven't seen it in years. | |
| The very beginning of the movie, Forrest Gump can't get into school because he's retarded. | |
| So his mother offers to fuck the principal. | |
| The principal obliges, and then Forrest sits on the porch as he hears as the principal fucks his mom. | |
| And my kids are there. | |
| I forgot that it's a porn. | |
| And then as the principal walks away, he goes, boy, your mommy sure wants you to get into this school, Forrest. | |
| And then as he walks away, Forrest goes, who's retarded, goes, and the guy just gives him like a mean look. | |
| Like he gives the kid a gross look as if he's the dirtbag. | |
| And also, you know exactly what you're going to get with the box of chocolates because there's a fucking chart in the box. | |
| It says cherry surprise. | |
| No surprise with a cherry surprise. | |
| It says Nouga. | |
| It has everything listed. | |
| And you lost the piece of paper? | |
| Okay, you have a very unusual box of chocolates. | |
| People tend to not lose. | |
| I'm turning into that fucking guy we were cringing at earlier. | |
| Oh, can I tell you something? | |
| Oh, that's too good. | |
| Hey, you don't lose the piece of paper when you get a box of chocolates. | |
| Let's see here. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| So dinosaurs come in different sizes. | |
| There's really big ones, and there's smaller ones. | |
| There's also medium sizes. | |
| I gotta get a beer. | |
| I'm gonna throw up. | |
| Excuse me. | |
| Can you and your friend stop laughing at me? | |
| I'm trying to do a presentation here. | |
| Anyways, so yeah. | |
| There's also herbivores where they only eat vegetables. | |
| And there's carnivores where they only eat meat. | |
| Check out the other one. | |
| Check out the other one. | |
| It's even more painful because he includes his toes. | |
| I'm becoming like a cringe. | |
| I'm becoming the lemmy of cringe. | |
| Like, I want it turned up to 11. | |
| Oh! | |
| Hi there. | |
| My name's Charmiander. | |
| And I recently learned a new trick. | |
| Toes and the growling? | |
| I can turn myself into a wolf. | |
| Can I show you? | |
| I don't know what's happening. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Okay. | |
| Where's his father? | |
| Or should I say, wolf with me here? | |
| Or his brother. | |
| Or even his sister. | |
| Okay, one second. | |
| Your sister should beat you up for this. | |
| That's a wolf. | |
| That's... | |
| I feel like Liam Neeson at the end of that movie. | |
| Taken? | |
| Yeah, Ryan, taken. | |
| Not the movie where he's being chased by wolves the entire time. | |
| Like, do his friends like this? | |
| Andrew Curtis. | |
| How about that, eh? | |
| You know, when you work out and then you have a shower, but you're still kind of buzzing after the shower and you're almost sweating after the even though he watched it. | |
| That's how I feel after that. | |
| I think he's inspired by Kingdom Hearts or something. | |
| I don't know what that is. | |
| Whatever that is, it's for two-year-olds. | |
| I guess. | |
| Like, that's teletubby level. | |
| I'm doing that so we can advertise our sponsors too. | |
| Teletubby? | |
| Shut up, Brian. | |
| Red Pill Living is our next short read. | |
| They sent us custom mugs that I'm using here now. | |
| And they're tremendous mugs. | |
| Phenomenal coffee. | |
| Excellent people at redpillliving.com. | |
| Right now, my listeners get 15% off all purchases at redpillliving.com. | |
| Just use promo code Gavin. | |
| Buy a custom mug with your name on it. | |
| Buy some coffee. | |
| Boost your energy and your immunity. | |
| Redpillliving.com promo code Gavin. | |
| Support Patriot-owned business. | |
| And we will be going through every single country's flavors of their coffee. | |
| That's the essential oils. | |
| We may get to that too. | |
| Who knows? | |
| But we've been having the coffee here at the studio in New York and it packs a punch. | |
| It's got a wallop to it. | |
| And if you find you get sketched out when you take too much coffee, then I highly recommend these is it the tinctures? | |
| Is that how it's pronounced? | |
| Tinctures. | |
| So yeah, please go to redpillliving.com. | |
| Use the promo code Gavin and support patriot-owned business. | |
| Okay, we're not even getting close to the news here. | |
| I had a brilliant idea for an invention. | |
| And again, we've had entire episodes dedicated to inventions. | |
| They're all free. | |
| Go nuts. | |
| But how about this idea? | |
| You ready for this? | |
| You know how you go with Don Draper on Mad Men. | |
| Remember, he was drinking bourbon and he goes, cut me off after two. | |
| You really just want two, maybe three drinks, right? | |
| And you shouldn't start drinking bourbon until maybe eight o'clock at night, maybe seven. | |
| If you can stick to beer, then, you know, you can have fucking 100 beers. | |
| They don't do anything. | |
| But the problem with bourbon is the next day is polluted. | |
| You know when we partied Saturday night? | |
| You know when I fully recovered? | |
| When? | |
| It was Sunday night. | |
| Sunday night, sorry. | |
| Thursday. | |
| That's today. | |
| Monday was AIDS. | |
| Tuesday was hell. | |
| Wednesday was just being 150 years old. | |
| And then this morning I woke up and I was kind of a human. | |
| Oh, and you know what I did today? | |
| I tried my wife's Peloton. | |
| How's that for gay? | |
| I felt ugly. | |
| I felt gay. | |
| Dude, it is brutal. | |
| It's really, really hard. | |
| And you feel like at one point my heart was going so fast I was worried about my safety. | |
| I was worried I was going to have a heart attack and die. | |
| My kids would have no father. | |
| I was fantasizing about jumping off and lying on the ground most of the time. | |
| And even the, there's an arm workout section with my little, my wife's little girly weights where you're going like this and doing this stuff. | |
| Even that's pretty grueling. | |
| And the thing is, I did 45 minutes straight. | |
| The thing about boxing is you get little breaks and you can cheat. | |
| This, you cannot go below, I think, 50 miles an hour or whatever the, I don't know exactly what the, the number 50, it feels like 50 miles an hour. | |
| But, and you have to wear these horribly gay little shoes where I felt ugly. | |
| I felt stupid. | |
| I felt gay. | |
| But I felt ugly. | |
| I felt gay. | |
| I'm going to, I'm going to stick with it because I want to be able to have enough gas in the tank, as we say in boxing, to be alert for four rounds. | |
| Oh, I think buying the shoes is the worst. | |
| It takes you three times. | |
| You got to get these stupid clips. | |
| It's like this Xbox I bought for the kids. | |
| I thought, all right, let's get the kids playing video. | |
| They're going to play video games inevitably, right? | |
| You can't change that. | |
| So I actually don't mind if my sons or any combination of my kids are playing the same video game. | |
| I mean, for a couple hours or something, but at least they're bonding. | |
| They're talking to each other. | |
| That's not a problem. | |
| So I got the, we have an Xbox 360. | |
| All the games are super corny, like you're jumping up and down on a raft. | |
| So I got rid of that. | |
| Got the Xbox 360. | |
| No, no, the Xbox X. Xbox One S. Xbox One S comes with two controllers. | |
| And so I get Dance, Dance, Just Dance 2020, and FIFA. | |
| All right. | |
| Comes in the mail. | |
| It doesn't have a sensor. | |
| That's a separate thing you have to buy. | |
| I'm so sick of things not coming with the stuff. | |
| With the soundtrack. | |
| And they, oh, you can use your phone. | |
| Yeah, sure, you can use your fucking. | |
| So I got to go buy that. | |
| And then an extension. | |
| I think I'm already getting drunk. | |
| And then I go, all right, I'll just do the FIFA thing. | |
| Now, I'm from the 80s where you had Atari. | |
| You just plugged it in, and it was Joust, and there you were. | |
| You didn't have to watch the intro. | |
| This fucking thing is so infuriating. | |
| You have to set up these at Microsoft accounts. | |
| You have to tell them your credit card, all that. | |
| That I would, I was working on this for an hour setting it up. | |
| Like, shouldn't it just be you unplug your old VCR and you put in your new DVD player? | |
| This is you unplug your old Xbox and you start a company. | |
| I basically registered an LLC. | |
| I'm not really exaggerating. | |
| But I think eventually I'll get to this. | |
| And my son, one boy can be red and the other boy can be white. | |
| All right, sounds good. | |
| I get in there. | |
| Aren't they a combo of both? | |
| After I get there, I finally get it in. | |
| I finally set up all the accounts, all the passwords. | |
| I'll never remember any of them. | |
| I won't even remember the usernames because everything's taken, right? | |
| Because too many fucking adults are playing these goddamn things. | |
| And I finally set it up and it's like, choose your player. | |
| And I'm just like, I don't know, him. | |
| Like, okay, what kind of hair? | |
| Yeah. | |
| And the shorts, you like the shorts? | |
| I don't give a fuck about the fucking shorts. | |
| I was getting so fucking mad. | |
| And then I make his name John because that's my youngest boy's name. | |
| It says there's a word with profanity in the name. | |
| John. | |
| No. | |
| I changed everything else and it didn't work until I changed the name John to JB. | |
| What? | |
| Do you think that means dick, you fucking idiots at whoever makes this shit? | |
| That's crazy. | |
| I know you can't use Trump or MAGA. | |
| So I'm at an hour in, maybe more, maybe an hour and 20 minutes. | |
| Still nowhere near two people playing. | |
| I have no idea how to set up two players. | |
| It's not a button. | |
| I think it's two profiles you have to set up. | |
| And then I finally get started and I'm in some ghetto like alleyway gymnasium where I guess I'm not good enough to go. | |
| I don't want to start a whole soccer player's fucking career. | |
| Why don't you just have me come out of the womb and I'll breastfeed for a little while and eventually I'll become interested in soccer because my cousins play it. | |
| Or you don't get into soccer. | |
| I don't get into soccer. | |
| I just end up becoming a drug dealer. | |
| Now I'm playing Grand Theft Auto in FIFA. | |
| Or you're playing video games in the video game because you're just slacking on your... | |
| We're not far from that. | |
| We're not far from a Grand Theft Auto where the guy would rather play soccer and he ends up playing like a shitty FIFA. | |
| I had to be a baby in my game. | |
| I was raised by a man and taught how to shoot an arrow. | |
| Oh, in your little girl game that you play where you go and get fancy rocks? | |
| What's that game called? | |
| Horizon Zero Dawn and it rules. | |
| Horizon Zero Dawn, where Ryan looks like fucking moldilock Sir Mantifa. | |
| That's it. | |
| And he jumps through the forest with a perfect ass and a little like raccoon skin dress. | |
| She is not. | |
| She does not. | |
| She's not even that sexy. | |
| This is Ryan's defense. | |
| No, she doesn't reveal that. | |
| She's totally butch. | |
| The chick that I become is like a badass tomboy, dude. | |
| Look at her, man. | |
| She's dressed dignified. | |
| Yeah, she's cool. | |
| No, the woman you are is a cruel woman. | |
| Interesting defense. | |
| The woman I am is a badass. | |
| I think she's just a guy with long hair, boobs, and kids and a vagina. | |
| That's all. | |
| Still basically a dude anyway. | |
| Basically. | |
| Tomboys are basically. | |
| I'm a tomboy, I guess. | |
| I'm just a tomboy with a penis. | |
| Look at these robot fights. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, badass, man. | |
| You're almost like a dude. | |
| You're so badass. | |
| You don't have to do any stupid paperwork to get started and get good at it, if you will. | |
| There's a human element, of course. | |
| Okay, before we get to Chris, is he on the line yet? | |
| Yeah. | |
| He's waiting for us. | |
| Why don't we interview Chris, ask him why cars suck? | |
| Then we'll do the last read. | |
| Then we'll go behind the paywall. | |
| And then he'll take us through his shop and show us all this cool shit. | |
| Cool. | |
| But before we get to any of that, I still haven't told you my invention. | |
| All right. | |
| So it's a safe, right? | |
| It's this big. | |
| And the maker's bottle goes in it upside down. | |
| Shit, you'd have to have it customized for your. | |
| No, you wouldn't. | |
| Anyway, the neck comes out the bottom. | |
| And you know, when you go to bars and they have that one ounce thing? | |
| So you set your ounce. | |
| An ounce is too little for me. | |
| So maybe it's two ounces, right? | |
| So you have your drink, you put it there in the safe. | |
| It's locked. | |
| The bottle's locked. | |
| You go, whatever your setting is. | |
| Let's say it's three ounces. | |
| And then you take it out, right? | |
| You can chug it. | |
| Now you go back, doesn't work. | |
| It doesn't work for two hours. | |
| Just like a passcode on an iPhone, when you do it too many times, you got to wait 10 minutes. | |
| So if you have a drink at 8, you can't have another drink until 10. | |
| Now, you can break the thing, of course. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| But as you're breaking it, you should probably realize you've got a pretty serious problem. | |
| How much would this be? | |
| What's the price point? | |
| Holy shit. | |
| I may or may not have just found some pills underneath that. | |
| Oh, wow. | |
| Can't bullshit. | |
| Wait, what's the question? | |
| How much, what's the price point for this item? | |
| We'll get to that. | |
| Now you go, well, how do I replace it? | |
| The sensors don't open until the bottle's empty. | |
| And then, kutunk, it just opens. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's a good idea. | |
| So if you have your first drink at eight, you'll probably get another one in at 10. | |
| I don't know if you're going to go to 12. | |
| You're definitely not going till two. | |
| So the worst case scenario in giant air quotes is 8, 10, 12. | |
| I don't think that's going to be a hangover. | |
| See what I'm saying? | |
| Hey, if there are any billionaire industrial designers out there who can just make me that personally, you can keep the invention. | |
| I don't have time to deal with that shit. | |
| All right. | |
| You know what we've just gotten through, by the way? | |
| None of my actual notes. | |
| We just got through my last-minute scribbles of shit I forgot to mention after we printed out my notes. | |
| Isn't that fun? | |
| That's bizarre, dog. | |
| All right, let's get to fucking Chris Stevens. | |
| Chris, are you there, sir? | |
| Yeah, man, I'm here. | |
| Chris is at, that's your brother's shop, right? | |
| Eurotech Classics? | |
| No, it's my shop, too. | |
| We're co-owners. | |
| Right. | |
| Split it. | |
| 50-50. | |
| Sorry, I meant to say that's you and your brother's shop. | |
| And you deal with beautiful European cars, BMWs. | |
| Any motorbikes in there? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| I got like a vintage early 90s Honda VFR behind me there. | |
| So like, it's actually, we're doing a really cool deal with the, well, it used to be a British company, but remember the company Royal Enfield? | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Beautiful. | |
| So I just got a phone call from them yesterday, and they chose five people around the world to do a custom bike build. | |
| And I'm the North American. | |
| Oh, nice. | |
| Is it a competition? | |
| What is it? | |
| Yeah, well, I haven't got the details yet. | |
| Basically, what it is, is it's supposed to be a build where it won't be like these TV shows where it's like ridiculous builds using crazy equipment that nobody can afford or do on their own. | |
| It's supposed to influence you. | |
| Like, if you were to buy a new motorcycle, how can I put my own flare on it under a certain budget? | |
| So, I'll be getting a budget and a brand new motorcycle, doing some bolt-ons, and I'll add some of my own like flare and a little bit of fab work, but I won't make it stupid to ride like a little chopper with little teeny bars. | |
| I'm not doing anything like that. | |
| It'll be a completely rideable, if not just as good as stock or better is what I'm aiming for. | |
| Well, most of these rehab shows, I look at the final product and go, I couldn't have that in my driveway. | |
| I'd be too embarrassed. | |
| I don't want a DJ booth in the trunk. | |
| Well, yeah, that would be like the TV shows like 15 years ago. | |
| But yeah, I get what you're saying. | |
| They make the cars so ridiculous that they're on air ride. | |
| They're too low. | |
| But even now, I showed you that D Snyder electric car he had redone. | |
| It looked like Iron Man Secretary's car. | |
| Dude, I don't get it, man. | |
| Like, I can't watch those shows because it just makes my skin crawl, man. | |
| Yeah, they make cars that are embarrassing. | |
| But the reason I wanted to call you is because I'm in the market for a new car. | |
| I was looking at the 2020 Range Rovers, and Range Rover has gone from a pretty decent car, even as late as the 90s. | |
| And when I say decent, I'm purely talking as a homo who doesn't know anything about the insides. | |
| I just like the outsides, and I like right angles. | |
| And I look at the 90s, even up to 2000, you look at Range Rovers and you go, those look pretty good. | |
| And now you see the new Range Rover, like that one. | |
| The convertible looks like a kid's toy. | |
| Well, yeah, because I don't know. | |
| I mean, men aren't buying them anymore. | |
| That's what I suspected. | |
| The housewives are buying the family cars, and they, but that's the other question. | |
| Why do women hate right angles? | |
| Women don't like the look of a 2000 Range Rover? | |
| Yes, you are correct on that. | |
| They do not like straight angles. | |
| They don't like sharp edges. | |
| They want things to be round and smooth and kind of monochromatic. | |
| They don't want fancy colors, anything like that. | |
| British Racing Green is out of the question now. | |
| They need blacks, grays, white, and silvers. | |
| Is it also something to do with aerodynamics and saving the planet? | |
| I mean, I guess it's an added bonus, but does it really matter? | |
| No. | |
| I mean, remember, the SUV kind of came from the whole military background with trucks where things were assembled so they can be disassembled. | |
| So like a fender can come off. | |
| Well, it's not going to be round. | |
| It's going to be a nice square angle like a Jeep would be or an old Range Rover Classic or Land Rover Defender. | |
| So it's supposed to be fully rebuildable, repairable, and replaceable. | |
| So nowadays, everything's meant to be thrown away after a certain, you know, once the warranty's up, that's it. | |
| You know, it goes to the second and third party sellers. | |
| Well, even once you're in an accident, every time I've been in an accident, they're like, this is garbage. | |
| Just fucking, you might as well get a new one. | |
| We're done. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And SUVs also used to have like towing capacity, too. | |
| So you could actually tow an RV or a boat with it back in the day. | |
| And now they realize, well, the guys with the boats and the RVs are just buying the big pickup trucks. | |
| So like I got this beautiful BMW X3 that just came in. | |
| And I usually wasn't an X3 fan, but aesthetically speaking, it looked good. | |
| It was navy blue with brown leather sports seats. | |
| And I was loving it. | |
| I'm thinking like this might be a good car for my chicken home. | |
| Well, I popped the hood and it has this little teeny four-cylinder turbo motor. | |
| And then I was turned off. | |
| I mean, there's so much space in between it. | |
| And what it is, is just a throwaway motor. | |
| It was cheap to manufacture. | |
| They could slap it in. | |
| They put it in the same three-series that they did on the X Drive X3. | |
| So I just think it's ridiculous what they're doing now. | |
| I'd like a V8, eight miles to the gallon, Range Rover Classic. | |
| That'll do just fine. | |
| I'm still trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. | |
| So I guess the one thing they say is aerodynamic. | |
| Now, we had those muscle cars like the Mustang, whatever, in the 70s, and the sort of, what's that called, Chevy Nova and all that stuff. | |
| And they seem to have brought them back for a little while there. | |
| And I assume they have all the souped up, environmentally friendly engines. | |
| So those cars would be less good on gas because of the lack of aerodynamics. | |
| But what are we talking annually here? | |
| Like $7 in gas? | |
| Well, yeah, that's always the debate. | |
| You know, if you buy an electric car and you add up the cost, you know, for the electricity and the cost to own it, how long does it take for your return on that investment versus just an old car that you're not, you know, basically you're recycling, right? | |
| You take an old car and you keep it on the road. | |
| You're actually more green than the person that bought a brand new car because it saved it from going to the junkyard and everything else. | |
| I mean, you're basically reducing your carbon footprint by restoring an old car and keeping it on the road. | |
| Oh, I never thought of that. | |
| Okay, last question with these horrible, disgusting, shitty cars that are being stuffed down our throats where a Jag and a Porsche, they all look like Honda Civics. | |
| They all look like little cough drops. | |
| Is another reason for it so they crumple better? | |
| Because we were watching a video the other day of this car chase, and this guy goes sideways. | |
| The back of the entire car is cut off by a tree like it was aluminum foil, which I assume is safer than a Ford Galaxy from 1959 just going bang into it. | |
| Yeah, I don't think the way they look is for safety. | |
| I mean, I think they could still look cool and have all the safety devices. | |
| I mean, airbags, that was a great invention. | |
| And same thing with like seatbelts when Volvo started putting those in the production vehicles. | |
| Those are great things. | |
| You know, I'm all for safety, especially if you have a family. | |
| But there's no reason for it to look so dinky. | |
| You know, it doesn't. | |
| Thank you for not saying gay, by the way. | |
| I appreciate that. | |
| I'm going to start using dinky. | |
| I mean, I guess, like, I don't know. | |
| They're not really considered like gay looking. | |
| I don't know what gay looking would be with a car at all. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, I like a lot of gay looking things that you consider gay in a car, like the old Mercs, a 1980s Merck. | |
| All right, let's put this in front of the paywall and we'll make this free on YouTube. | |
| And then now let's go back behind the paywall and see some of your, see what you got in there. | |
| What you got behind the green door? | |
| JohnnyAppleCBD. J-A-C-B-D dot com. | |
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| I think I might just cover my legs with the CBD tonight because as I was going, oh, you got some? | |
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| Tincture. | |
| Tincture. | |
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| I can tell that tomorrow's going to be one of those, you know, when you go down the stairs and you're like, oh, Jesus. | |
| Oh, my. | |
| Walmart hub. | |
| Hadayahana. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Sort of like getting punched in the ribs. | |
| Yes, I was just about to say that. | |
| When he knocked me in the ribs, it was really interesting getting out of bed for like two weeks. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I don't know why you suggested such a thing. | |
| I was drunk. | |
| Yeah, 20% off all orders at jacb.com if you use the promo code gavin. | |
| Yep. | |
| Oh, we have a paywall giveaway. | |
| Caller one, $50 gift card. | |
| No, that's Bubba and Hanks. | |
| Right? | |
| Sorry. | |
| I thought it was Bubba and Hanks. | |
| Yeah, that's Bubba and Hanks. | |
| You want to cut off these fools? | |
| So goodbye, freebie guys. | |
| If you want more of this content, and we've been making a lot more of it, you have to subscribe to censored.tv, $10 a month. | |
| My show is the tip of the iceberg. | |
| We're up to like two hours a day of content. | |
| Jacob Wall is there. | |
| Jim Goad is coming. | |
| Laura Loomer is there. | |
| We've got Copper Cab. | |
| We've got Milo every Friday night. | |
| You can see him tomorrow night rocking out Friday nights all right. | |
| And we have, of course, Soph. | |
| So yes, I have been fired from every job I've ever had. | |
| Yes, I've been censored. | |
| Yes, I've been banned from Instagram and PayPal. | |
| I notice, by the way, a lot of these lefties, they'll say, if you're censored, how can I hear you right now? | |
| If you're suffering from a violation of free speech, why do you have your own network? | |
| Free speech does exist. | |
| In other words, if you still have a tongue, then you can't complain about the First Amendment. | |
| We have had to build this site from scratch twice after we got sued for the first name. | |
| We have to have 50 levels of encryption on the payment system because that gets shut down. | |
| Even our charity for a black baby, Liberty, justiceforliberty.com, has been hacked and has to have 50 layers of content. | |
| I mean, sorry, protection on the payment system. | |
| Yes, I'm still on YouTube after being kicked off twice and I was demonetized like a year ago. | |
| I'm so banned that Ryan can't have his own personal Facebook because he works for me. | |
| So it's possible that there are gradations of censored. | |
| And yes, I can still speak English. | |
| I still have a head. | |
| But the idea that you can't talk about censorship if you still have a peep left is fascist. | |
| Do you understand? | |
| You assholes are tyrannical if you don't get it. | |
| And if you do get it, you understand that it's about getting fired, getting in trouble, being brave, and never stop fighting. |