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April 6, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:07:02
S02E146 - NEW RULES [2020-04-06 - S02E146 - NEW RULES]
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Time Text
Okay, let's start the show.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Yawn with Kevin McKinnon.
You can go to shelving.
Make shelving happen behind me quickly.
Nope, that's black.
Shelving, make the shelving.
Yes, good.
Only difference between normal shows and this Ryan's shitty apartment called the Fag Zone is that I'm in front of my desk and not behind my desk.
That's the only difference.
We don't even really need that desk when we go back.
We could do the whole show in green screen, right?
Show yourself.
Show yourself.
Wait, what's Ryan doing now?
Showing myself.
You may have noticed that I'm here.
And not only do I feel that I have the right to brag about our show not really being worse despite this pandemic, especially when juxtaposed with Samantha B, Seth Meyers, and all these other fucking talentless losers.
Samantha B can't chop wood.
That's your joke?
Hey, Samantha, you want to know how to do that joke?
Instead of taking seven minutes to chop the wood, just do it like twice and fail and then move on to the next thing and fail at like a dozen survivalist things that you're not good at.
And that would be funny because we'd see you with a straight face conveying all this information that was legit, but doing a bad job at it in real life.
That's how you do a fucking joke, you retard.
Speaking of retarded jokes, Milo said I was canceled and convinced my tech guy to remove all my shows.
I got to admit, when I woke up Saturday morning, I was pissed.
And I didn't like that he went above my head.
I'm the boss of censored.tv.
There's no Wizard of Oz behind the curtains.
I run the show.
So to play a prank on me, you have to go above and beyond the Call of Duty.
You have to go, it's like playing a prank on the president.
So as president, you'd be in the White House going, wait, you switched the Oval Office all around without my permission?
Who let you do that?
So that was what I initially said.
And I also pointed out to the tech guy who allowed this and to Milo himself, it's a David Brent joke.
Saying you're fired as a joke is one of the least funny things you can do.
It's just a waste of time.
There's some pranks where you hear them and you go, you're just wasting people's time.
Like when I listen to prank calls and they call some pizza place and the guy's like, hey, can you put triple pepperonis on this, but no cheese or whatever?
And the guy's like, well, we don't make that kind of pizza.
And I'm listening going, he's a hard-working dude at a shitty job.
Fucking stop wasting his time.
So we have to figure out a way to get Milo back.
But see, that's the problem.
Like, do I, why is it taking you so fucking long to get yourself on the screen?
And why are you primping and preening your hair like a homo in the fag zone?
Well, I'm ready, but I have no reason to show myself quite yet.
I haven't said anything.
Well, show yourself.
People want to see that you exist.
All right.
Coming live from the fag zone.
Here we go.
Happy.
Nice nose.
What's that supposed to be?
It's wider than it is like.
It's a chode.
It looks like a dode.
It's a chenose.
It's a doad.
It looks like some sort of exotic fruit that no one's ever eaten.
I look like an exotic fruit.
Joe exotic fruits.
Come down, get some peaches.
So yeah, like what do I do?
I get his husband in on it.
His husband's just going to tell me to fuck off.
Or he'll double cross me and tell Milo that him and that we're planning something.
But I'll figure something out.
Don't worry.
I'll get him back.
And then by Saturday night, I was like, bah, all right, that's funny.
And everyone kept saying, you lost subscribers.
I didn't lose one subscriber.
We gained like one.
So there was just a normal day at sensor.tv.
I know that people figured a way to hack the unsubscribe button because we took it down, or they took it down, I should say.
But yes, they did discover a way to unsubscribe, but no one unsubscribed.
So whatever.
Got more traffic, got people caring.
I had to answer like a million fucking texts.
So today is kind of a serious show after dealing with that.
I wanted to talk about the pandemic, how things have changed, how we should change.
And I know I said I don't talk about the coronavirus, but I've just got too many people saying, where do we go from here, Gav?
And so I would be remiss if I didn't say some important things I think that have to change and some important things that have changed and how we can fight this going forward.
So I composed a little list here of some things.
And I could have numbered them, I guess.
Maybe.
But anyway, here we go.
Ready?
The number one thing that we have to keep In the forefront of our minds, and it has to remain a defining part of our culture in America, is free speech.
That is our greatest weapon in fighting all this.
I saw today Chelsea Handler was talking about we shouldn't allow Trump to do these briefings because they're dangerous.
There was some DNC staffer who, a Democratic congresswoman, who said she's been to The Hague to discuss war crimes because Trump has killed millions of people with his bad hydrocoraclean information.
I guess she was still believing that woman who murdered her husband with the fish cleaner, and she's still convinced that's Trump.
What a fucking idiot.
Anyway, no, we don't need less information.
We don't need less conspiracy theories.
We need more.
That's how we survive as human beings.
It's conveying information to each other.
So number one, free speech.
Number two, guns.
We need more guns.
The Trump administration said it's an essential thing.
People are stocking up on ammunition.
I am very naive when it comes to guns.
I was pretty shocked that 300,000 is a normal number for rounds of ammunition.
It seems like enough to retire on, but okay.
But yeah, we need more guns in our culture.
And as people, this is the third one, we need to get healthier.
You know, they say, they'll show you someone who died who had no pre-existing conditions.
And you look at the picture of this woman.
She's an obese, fat pig.
Stop being fat.
Hey, fat sos out there, my friends.
All you have to do is burn more calories than you take in.
Don't want to go to the gym?
Okay, eat less.
Stop stuffing your fucking face.
You're not healthy.
This virus is attacking unhealthy people.
I don't want to see any more fat people anywhere hanging around.
Get out of my face.
No more fat positivity.
No more Lizzo is rocking.
Lizzo is dying.
She's a fucking fat pig.
And in a world of pandemics, we have to stay healthy.
So that means working out.
Now, right now, we're working out from home.
Some of us are lazier than others.
That includes me.
But generally, once we get rolling again, you got to get to the gym.
You got to lift weights.
Pay a trainer if you can afford it.
I know it seems like a lot of money.
My guy is 20 bucks a sesh, which is twice what it was last year.
And that really pissed me off.
But I ended up going back to him because I don't know.
Something about going to a trainer, it takes the monotony out of it.
And you don't have to do it every time.
I would box three days a week and have the trainer two days a week.
It just mixes it up.
And yeah, you get more ripped.
So stop being a fat pig.
No more lizzos.
Education.
That's changed drastically.
We've realized that schools are useless.
We've realized that these kids can learn all they need to learn from like 9.30 to noon.
After that, let's let them go.
Go play.
Let's stop sending our kids to public schools.
School them at home.
They can learn on their computers.
Half of the shit, too.
Like my daughter's doing this math.
And when she gets the question right, it says yes and it moves to the next one.
If she gets it wrong, it says nope.
Try again.
That's a fucking computer program.
Teachers have been replaced.
And it's funny seeing them send all these messages to my kids like, we miss you so much.
Hey, we wrote a song.
Here's a poem.
We know that you miss us too.
No, you're redundant.
We just realized it.
We didn't know until you were forced to go on strike.
Maybe that's why teachers don't really strike because people will come up with a substitute.
That reminds me of that theory we had the other day, Ryan, where we said, maybe these talk show hosts are doing such a shitty job on purpose because they're trying to justify their inflated budgets.
And they're scared if they do something like this with the good quality audio and a green screen, then their bosses will say, let's pare down the studio and fire some people.
Speak in.
So I think we've learned from this being in hiding that we don't have to continue schooling the way we used to.
And I guarantee you, our children will learn more from 9.30 to noon than they learned from 9 to 3.20 in public schools.
And they're not fucking playing.
My son's lunch hour is like half an hour.
I think he's outside for 20 minutes.
He used to, at this old school, he would, they play baseball and he'd set up this thing.
You're not allowed to have a real bat, but what they would do is they'd have these little plastic bats, wiffle bats, but they'd roll up newspaper like they're in prison, cut the top off, fill them full of newspaper, really densely wound newspaper, and then ductate the top back on.
And it was like a wood bat.
Anyway, that was the whole thing.
And I go, do you still do that at your new school?
And he goes, no, there's no time.
By the time we set up the game, it would be over.
Oh, great.
So education has to change.
A lot more playing, a lot less fucking around.
And I think we've also learned housewives.
Housewives are very important to our society.
We have these women that are leaving work.
They're realizing how much they hated their stupid, shitty jobs where they were just keeping some other man's appointments or handling a social media page.
And they're back with their kids, learning how much they love their kids and learning how fun it is to be a stay-at-home mom.
Everyone talks about how stressful it is to work from home.
That's just in the media.
I don't believe these people.
I think that moms are learning that teaching their kids, seeing more of their kids, being with their kids is a lot more fun than they thought it would be.
And I think as dads in a patriarchy, as a society, we're going, holy shit, my home is so much better with my wife there and not a nanny and an au pair and a maid and all these other sort of subcontractors.
We've subcontracted out the housewife.
And now that those little servants aren't coming back and the housewife is doing her job, we're realizing what an important job it is.
And that brings us to families, strong families.
We're learning now that we need strong families.
This pandemic has brought families together, and we've realized that strong families are the backbone of any society.
We've really got an anti-family culture going on in this country, and it's behind welfare.
Welfare shattered the black family.
I've talked about this a lot.
You incentivize this poor black woman to dump her baby daddy, so she does.
And then we have these teenagers with no discipline.
You know, the anti-Semitism that's going on in Brooklyn, it's going on in Crown Heights.
There's genuine anti-Semitism coming from Muslims and black Hebrew Israelites.
A lot of it is fear gentrification, but it's real anti-Semitism.
In Williamsburg, it's not.
In Williamsburg, they're attacking Hasids just because they're brats with no dad who have no discipline, and the Hasidic Jews don't fight back.
So I'm going to go hit the guy with the funny hat.
That's from welfare.
We shattered that family.
If that kid had a dad, then he wouldn't be going up and smashing Hasids in the head.
So we need strong families, and I think we've learned that.
No more welfare.
We need to bring the black family back together.
We need poor families back together.
We need more families.
If there's one message I could convey on this show, besides free speech and the Second Amendment, more American families, more Western families.
That's of all races, but with Western values.
Closing the borders.
We've also learned that nationalism isn't such a bad word.
If Trump was allowed his Iran travel ban, we never would have had a patient zero coming in here.
He's always told us that China is our enemy.
We ignored him.
I'm guilty of this too.
I'm realizing in this pandemic that I focused a disproportionate amount of my attention onto Islam and terrorism and the threat of Muslim population.
And though that is a threat, and we've seen it destroy Europe, it's a long way away from threatening us here.
The real bona fide viable threat is clearly communism.
This is a communist virus.
This is communist incompetence.
The government is too big in China and can't act in time because Chinese communist governments are more concerned with their image than actually saving human lives.
So when this started, they kept it under wraps because it makes them look bad.
By the way, we should talk about this another show, but the head of the World Health Organization is a communist terrorist retard who doesn't know anything.
He's not even a doctor.
He's a doctor of philosophy.
But because he's a communist terrorist, China made him the head of the World Health Organization.
And it's a perfect example of how incredibly powerful these fucking government boobs are.
So when we look at that big government in China, we should look at our own government and say, we need to shrink.
Big government is bad.
We need small government.
And that a big part of, sorry, not a big part of that, but a big part of our new learning process is nationalism.
We want strong borders.
We want an independent country.
If the government can handle anything, they should handle guarding our borders, security, military, police, that kind of thing.
We don't need them meddling with our kids' heads, brainwashing them with Marxist claptrap, like my daughter being shown a picture of a happy 50s housewife as some sort of horrible thing.
But yeah, we sounded nuts when we said close the borders now, and we don't sound so crazy anymore.
While we're on the subject, the drug war.
We can't be wasting our resources arresting people for cocaine.
We need our cops handling important things.
Let's just stop throwing guys in jail for selling pills, okay?
Everyone is on drugs.
Every student is on Adderall.
That's meth.
That's methamphetamine.
Why are some guys going to jail for meth and other kids getting straight A's because they're on it?
It doesn't make any sense.
And they say, well, you can't legalize heroin.
We did.
It's called OxyContin.
I don't think a chemist could differentiate between oxycontin and heroin.
I think it's exactly the same thing.
So fuck the drug wars.
And that brings us to my next point, the prisons.
These are giant petri dishes.
And of course, rapists, pedophiles, we just kill pedophiles.
Murderers, they've got to be, they can't be in with society.
But I talk to prisoners on a daily basis and I say, what percentage of the people in there do you think deserve to be there that are incompatible with society?
And they always say 5%.
The rest are all bullshit domestic charges and bullshit drug charges.
I think basically everyone in prison is somehow tangentially linked to drugs, whether it's a TERF war, whether the murder was about drugs.
There's very, very few people that are like, I'm a bad guy.
So we're going to get rid of prison.
And we also, while we're rebuilding this economy, we need to respect entrepreneurs because these are the guys that are going to rebuild this.
And we have to get away from this anti-business mentality.
I remember seeing a 60 Minutes about Groupon, and the angle was very snarky.
And they said, you know, you're known as being sort of ADHD, almost autistic.
And that sometimes freaks people out.
Like, this guy came up with a great business plan.
He's created thousands of jobs.
And 60 Minutes angle is that he's kind of awkward socially.
60 Minutes summarizes a lot of the problems that I'm listing here and the things that we need solutions to.
And one thing we need to change drastically about our behavior is the lack of veneration of entrepreneurs.
I also...
Thank you.
Another example of why we should abolish the government, too, is this whole pandemic, the reaction to it is ridiculous.
It's insane.
You know what happened with swine flu?
We had between 41 million and 84 million.
All right, let's just say about 60 million cases in 2009.
The agency said usually the CDC goes with a middle number, which posts about 60 million people infected.
Okay, so this is between, this is from April 2009 to January 2010.
We had 57 million people infected.
And then during that time, about 12,000 people died from H1N1.
So that's, and then about 1,000 children died.
I'm not reading that very well because it's way too wordy.
They tell you the range and then they pick a middle number.
So one year, 17,000 in U.S. dead.
No lockdowns, no nothing.
The problem with the government is exact same as the problem in China.
No one wants to stick their neck out and be embarrassed and hurt their career.
So everyone hides until the last second.
We should not be locked in our homes.
This is fucking ridiculous.
And it's another example why the government is bad news.
Another thing we need to watch out for now is feminism.
I think going forward, we've learned the power of the housewife.
We've learned how great it is when women stay at home.
We've learned how superfluous they are in the workforce and how incompetent many of them are, like the woman who went to The Hague to accuse Trump of war crimes.
But I think feminism is very dangerous for this pandemic, and it could lead to more deaths.
I mean, look at these people.
Hard, hard, hard every day to move it forward, and we don't want to go backwards.
We're not going to go backwards.
I'm actually not that cold for a while.
First of all, just pause.
What the fuck are you talking about?
We want to move forward and not go back?
You mean you don't want to lose the vote?
Does that mean she doesn't want Roe v.
Wade overturned?
And we don't want to go backwards.
We're not going to go backwards.
What the fuck this guy is?
My anger is keeping me warm.
Look at her brainwashing her kid.
See, this is not good in a pandemic.
This is not good behavior.
This has to end.
Feminism is not invited to post-pandemic America.
That's really what I'm talking about here.
How post-pandemic America has to be.
And post-pandemic America cannot include feminism.
It also, I'm afraid, cannot include Islam.
There have been studies done where doctors have said that there's a lot of moisture that collects in a hijab and burqas.
And that can become a breeding ground for the virus.
Now, I have nothing but respect for Islam, even radical Islam, but it's no longer hygienic.
And that means that radical Islam, you know, extremely orthodox Islam, all of this stuff can't be in our country anymore.
I'm sorry.
We also, by the way, had patient zero from Iran.
So the only prudent solution moving forward is no, a complete travel ban from all Muslim countries.
I'm sorry.
Also, racism, constantly talking about racism and hate all the time and how everything is racist.
That is splitting us apart.
That's promoting animosity and it's getting tedious.
It's getting pedantic.
And it's breaking.
We might have riots in the streets soon.
And when you fuel that fire with race, race, race, then it gets to the point where you have way more deaths from just riots than you would have from a pandemic.
That was too much of indecence.
So from now on, talking about race all the time and accusing everyone of being a racist is over.
That's done.
Also, they've discovered that along the ground, the contagion, the virus, tends to stay.
It's almost like, you know, when you go to those clubs and there's dry ice and there's that smoke on the ground and it seems to stay there.
That's what the virus does.
So they're saying that men can't wear flip-flops anymore.
Flip-flops are a very dangerous thing to wear.
Yeah, that's from Esquire, I believe.
So if you see men's toes, if anyone can see men's toes, we have a problem.
We are in danger.
And a lot of the CDC and other people are saying that footwear for men should be very, there's only few shoes or footwear that men can wear.
Do you have that montage of shoes?
Ryan?
Hello?
Oh, yes.
Yes, I do.
So they're saying that men have to wear red wings.
If it's cold out, then these go up high.
There's no way the, and you'll notice the tongue on red wings is actually sealed to the whole boot there, so that tongue doesn't flap down.
So this is totally waterproof and coronavirus proof up to the top.
Also, Clark's Desert boots, men can wear.
So no flip-flops, you can wear these.
Chuck Taylors, no other color, strangely enough.
So no red.
You can wear black Chuck Taylors if you're like 20 or below, but grown men like my age wearing black Chuck Taylors just looks fucking embarrassing.
It looks like you shop at CBGB's.
What else do we got?
Oh yeah, you can, for some reason they're saying vintage Air Jordans are fine, but again, only on younger men.
What else?
Is there any more?
Rod Lavers.
Now they have a lot of mesh on them, but for some reason those are fine.
And wallabies, but only they say only with pants that are kind of long, like no floods with wallabies.
And then they're saying for dress shoes, they're talking about the J.Crew wingtips.
I mean, this was mentioned on the Discord Reddit.
These are really expensive, but apparently these are perfect for the contagion.
No, that's a separate topic.
But we can jump to that.
They're saying that alcohol is actually very helpful, but only some alcohol.
So moving forward with this America, if we're going to survive, there are no IPAs.
They're saying that there's something about the hoppiness of IPAs that can actually stimulate the virus and keep it in your system.
A lot of doctors are saying that Budweiser is the only beer that should be available and all bars should have it.
Similarly, they're saying that it's like a Clorox bleach wipe for your body, is hard liquor, but only bourbon.
So, bars in the future, there's some I don't like here.
I hate Jim Beam or Jack Daniels, but Woodford Reserve, is that there?
Yeah, there's Woodford Reserve, Buffalo Trace, I forget the name of this thing, that one with the horsey on the top, Ballantines, the guy with the, it looks like a rabbi, Rip Van Winkle, that's allowed.
Maker's mark, obviously.
Every bar has to have Maker's mark, including that fancy one, 46.
That's much more potent.
So bourbon, all top shelf bourbon and Budweiser are crucial to fighting the virus.
Do not drink IPAs anymore.
They will kill you.
Understand?
And one of the worst things you can drink is one of these fucking blackberry margarita things that take the bartender forever to shake up.
All girly drinks are very bad.
We will not be having those in the future.
Now, I said this was...
One way they've seen it spread quite a bit, and the subway is obviously very dangerous.
So when we go back on the subways, there's certain behaviors that have to cease completely.
For example, talking loud on your phone, on speakerphone, so we can all hear your fucking conversation.
That's not permitted anymore.
You'll see, have you got the clip there?
I think it's on.
This is a woman, what was her name?
Lakeishia Beard.
So she was talking loud on her cell phone, and when people told her to shut up, she threatened to kill them all.
So she was kicked off Amtrak and arrested for threatening someone's life.
This cannot happen ever again.
We cannot have anyone, anywhere, but especially on the train, talking on speakerphone on their fucking...
Let's see how she gets down those steps.
Come on, sweetheart.
And, oh, and again, no obesity allowed in future America.
Go to the police car, bitch.
Similarly, another dangerous thing that happens on the subways is this hip-hop dancing.
What that does is it circulates the virus.
And that's also in my notes, Ryan, right below that.
It circulates the virus.
They're touching the poles, and it can be incredibly dangerous, especially when you're listening to some gay music about how no one's got a man.
Like, listen to the music.
It's a song about how hot a man is.
So what is he dancing to how sexy he is?
This is me, usually when this kind of thing happens.
By the way, people who do this, you're a stripper.
That's a stripper poll.
You are entertaining strangers by spinning around.
That's an exact move strippers do.
You are doing hip-hop stripping.
Anyway, you'll see how he's rubbing the virus around on the polls.
This in future America is not allowed.
We will stop this.
And we will have to use the police if necessary.
This guy will have to stop stripping for money.
And no more begging.
Also, they're saying video games.
I know this sounds weird because we've had to stay inside and video games are clearly a great way to pass the time.
Not anymore.
Adults, something about pushing the knobs and not getting out there and homeschooling your kids or doing other things, adults cannot play video games anymore.
It's not good for the virus.
I think it's because something to do with your thumbs and you're not getting out more.
So in future America, we will no longer have adult males pretending that they're zapping a zombie.
Oh, zoop, zoop, zoo.
I've got a ray gun.
What are you, Calvin and Hobbes?
I got a space gun and I'm shooting the zombies in my post-apocalyptic cathedral.
Zoot, zoo, zoo.
Zoop, zoop, zoo.
That's what you're doing.
I haven't done that.
Gone, peow, peow, pew, pew, pretended to shoot something since I was maybe seven.
Similarly, giving a shit about superheroes, reading comic books, going to superhero movies, those are all very dangerous.
That is now verboten.
Banned.
No more giving a fucking shit about Jedis.
That movie was made for little kids.
I went to see it when I was 10 and I thought it was super cool, but I was getting a little old.
By the time I was 12, I said, okay, I'm not interested in that anymore.
Now I want like BMX and skateboards and stuff because I'm not a fucking infant anymore.
I'm not a tiny little baby.
You're a 10-year-old, 5'10.
That's you.
You're a little child if you're playing video games, giving a shit about superheroes and watching Star Wars.
Do you know why superheroes were invented?
Not just for kids, but for loser kids, for eight-year-olds who were getting bullied.
So you know what we gave you?
You know what Stan Lee gave you?
He gave you a world where you're secretly a super spider guy.
And you can climb up buildings and you can swing and you can beat up bad guys.
You're super strong.
But you get bullied at school.
But you don't tell the bullies.
You could secretly go, psup, psu, pew.
And it gives the victims of bullies a fantasy world where he can pretend that he's not a fucking loser who gets wedgied every day and has his lunch money stolen.
That's you.
That's you if you're talking about Marvel and you're fucking disgusting.
Even that guy, remember that guy?
What was his name?
Dan Brittle Sticks, the guy who was talking about- The one who's married to the abortion-loving rich chick.
And he was talking about safe space and snowflake and stuff.
And he's a Marvel expert.
That's over.
That guy's fired.
He can't be that anymore because it's not good for the pandemic.
Yeah, what's his name?
Not him.
Dan Brittlebrocks?
It's like Fiddle Lumps Or something.
He sounds like a wonky chip.
No more video games for adults.
No more fucking flip-flops.
No more superheroes.
Kibble shit.
Kibble Smith.
Daniel Kibble Smith.
Also, we've learned Daniel Kibble Smith.
Sounds like he makes dog food, but like in the 1800s.
I'm a Kibble Smith.
I'm a dog food aristocrat from the 1800s.
So scratch outs are also out.
They've also discovered, you know, those Patagonia jackets with the tubing that everyone in the suburbs wears?
Yeah, those.
They always wear black in Westchester.
And we've known that Westchester, New Rochelle in particular, was the eye of the storm.
So stop wearing these fucking jackets, especially the black.
Stop wearing this jacket.
It's as dangerous as flip-flops, and it has to go.
Everyone in Westchester wears these, and Westchester was the hub of the problem.
So no more of those.
Also, doctors have been doing a lot of studies on sex and how sex transmits.
And they've noticed there's something in male sperm that can cleanse a woman's throat and prevent, don't show any of that shit, dumbass, that can prevent the virus spreading.
There's something about the coating.
And they say the best time to get this sperm out of the penis, the male penis, is in the mornings, right after he wakes up.
So ladies, every single day you need to get in there, smoke that hog, get some of that jizz down your throat.
Now they've discovered that the opposite is also true with men performing conilingus, where it's really helped to their immune system.
But apparently it's only when the guy feels like it.
So not every morning, not spontaneously, but he has to be inclined.
I guess he does it better and gets good at it, if you will.
Than being good at it, if you will.
When he's so inclined.
And they also say that kids should be outside playing as much as possible and shouldn't come in and surprise parents because that can jolt their system.
And if parents are drinking and partying, a lot of these professionals are saying that the kids should go to bed early and not leave their rooms and definitely not knock on the door of the master bedroom.
I think we've almost got them here.
Yeah, this is the last thing I've noticed, by the way.
Remember how we said that the virus seems to collect on the ground?
That's why men can only wear those six types of shoes.
But they're saying with women, high-heel shoes of the lady saw variety, they elevate the foot and it actually makes them much less likely to get it.
And this goes with like thigh-high boots, any kind of, it has to have a stiletto heel, has to have a big heel.
But they're also saying socks with high heels are really helpful in preventing it.
And this is also in the home.
So ladies, wives, while you're doing the dishes, while you're cooking and cleaning, while you're performing fellatio first thing in the morning, it's good to have socks with high heel shoes on.
And this article is showing you the different ways to do it.
That's with Oxfords.
Go back up it, though.
Go back up higher.
T-straps are fine.
Ankle straps are fantastic.
This is ideal.
This is the safest shoe ladies can wear, not just now, but forever in the future.
So ladies, Uggs, throw those away.
They're very dangerous.
Birkenstocks, one of the most dangerous shoes a woman can have.
Flip-flops, nope.
Crocs, got to get rid of those.
Maybe you could wear Chuck Taylor's and some of the list of the men's shoes, like Rod Laver's with a nice sort of summer dress.
But for the most part, socks and heels are the best way to go.
And a lot of the doctors of the World Health Organization, not the Ethiopian retard who runs it, but actual doctors, say that the safest look for women moving forward in the entire future of America, I'm talking about decades and decades and decades, is the girls from the video legs by ZZ Top.
This, just pause.
Wait, go back, go back, go back.
Because the physics, the biology of this is really interesting.
Freeze it on her foot when she comes out.
Yeah, that.
So there's something about this sort of pirate boot with the stiletto heel that protects all this and prevents it from going up.
And also short skirts with the high heel shoes really help.
And as far as gloves go, most of the disease is transmitted on the palms of your hands.
So lace gloves really help or fingerless lace gloves.
Lingerie at night.
I forgot to mention that.
They're saying that it's safest to sleep in some sort of lingerie at night with garter belts.
Garter belts are really helpful with stopping this.
Yeah, see that kind of look.
I don't know why.
I was as surprised as you are when this came out.
I was like, what?
That's one of my favorite videos.
And they go, yeah, it's crazy.
But 80s sort of new wave and lingerie and garter belts with stilettos, with little socks, little frilly socks, cripples the disease, destroys it in its tracks.
You know, the thing about the 1980s, too, no COVID-19.
No COVID-19 in the 80s.
And it was because of this.
Play the video a little longer.
See, this?
She had garter belts on.
She has, what does she have on?
A garter belt.
What does she not have?
Coronavirus.
This is all science.
I'm telling you, science.
And I think I may have left out swim shirts.
The moisture that men get from wearing swim shirts all the fucking time at the water park because they're ashamed of their boobies.
First of all, we said at the beginning, no more fat people.
So you don't have boobies anymore.
But secondly, no one gives a shit.
What are you going to get a sunburn?
There's a roof in Great Wolf Lodge.
Like this.
No more of this stupid shit.
And no more, they also said no more wearing underwear underneath your bathing suit.
And don't give me This bullshit about the mesh.
Oh, the mesh.
We've been making bathing suits for a thousand years.
We're not going to have some sort of razor wire mesh down there.
It's because you think we can see the contours of your penis because you're so fucking paranoid.
Even if we were all fags, even if it was a gay water park, no one cares about your dick.
And that same thing goes for these assholes who won't use a urinal because someone's going to see their pee-pee.
You fuckers go into the stall and you piss all over the lid.
Us chronic shitters, us alcoholics with diarrhea, end up sitting on your piss.
I have to clean your piss off before I sit down.
What am I?
Your slave?
I'm cleaning up your piss?
What am I?
Some sort of a fucking pet owner now?
I got to clean up my doggy's pee-pee stains?
Go piss in the urinal like everyone else.
Say there's a fucking gigantic homosexual right next to you in drag.
He's not going to grab your penis.
What's he going to do?
Start sucking it?
Fucking relax.
Hey, do you ever eat a cheeseburger around a fat guy?
He wants to put that in his mouth too.
He's not going to run over and go, my burger, my burger.
You think we're living in fucking caveman rape fag town?
Relax.
And that will spread the coronavirus too.
Pissing in a urinal, I mean, sorry, pissing in a stall and being scared of homosexuals in the urinal is very, very bad for the virus.
So I hope I've made all of this clear to you.
Basically, in order to survive, we have to follow these, I don't know, 20 easy steps.
And we need free speech, guns, no more fat people, homeschooling, housewives, no more welfare, more American families, closed borders, no more drug war, way less people in prison, almost abolish prison, federate the entrepreneur, shut down the government, abolish feminism, abolish Islam, stop talking about racism all the time, no more flip-flops, no more swim shirts.
Women have to wear high-heel shoes all the time and look like they're in the 80s, no more talking on your phone, and basically just bourbon and Budweiser.
Seem reasonable?
It sounds like utopia to me.
All right, that's the show.
Let's move on to a song that makes fun of one of the most painful things about Ryan's life.
You know what this reminded me of the other day?
Have I told you this story about Dale Aiken?
He was my best friend when I was a kid, and his dad was the shittiest fucking guy in the world, a trucker who totally abandoned him.
You know, one of the only things he ever did for Dale was he gave him an oil painting of himself.
The dad, the shitty dad.
No, not Dale.
Oh, it's a oil painting, a beautiful oil painting.
But in the oil painting, his dad was ugly and bald and fat, and he had on his hockey jacket, like Montreal Canadians, and like a shirt like this.
And he's wearing his hockey jacket in this oil painting.
But, you know, my dad was always in my face, and I had the opposite of a derelict father.
So one time I went over to Dale's, and he goes, hey, man, I can't hang out.
My dad called.
He's going to take me fishing.
And I went, oh, okay, well, I'll hang out here until he picks you up.
And he goes, okay.
And then that was going on and on.
And we're playing with our little action figures because we're little fucking kids.
Not adults.
Adults don't collect action figures.
Yes, I have some jokes on my shelf.
You think I play with these?
Do you think I care about these?
This one doesn't even have any pants.
I gave them to my wife as an escape, a Danimore joke on a clipboard.
Remember the prisoner makes her little pants?
Anyway, eventually his dad doesn't show and he's bawling his eyes out and I was staring at him going, Dale, why the fuck are you crying?
We've just got a gift.
You don't have to hang out with your dad today.
You are so lucky.
Those of us who had fathers tended to take it for granted.
But it's actually really rough not having a dad.
Go ahead, Ryan.
Which video is this?
The fucking mailbag?
Oh.
Maybe you could have sussed out that that's where we were heading if you had had a father at some point in your life.
Final video?
The mailbag!
Oh.
What the fuck is going on?
What happens in that head of yours?
Brian, shut up.
You don't have a dad.
Let's turn the rest together.
Let me touch it.
What?
Do you have a head injury?
No, you said let's listen to a song about...
Well, I said the worst part of Ryan's life.
And clearly we're done the show, so we're going to go to the mailbag.
True, true.
I presume there's going to be a lot about the pranking, a lot about that stupid joke, which was...
Was it funny?
It was effective.
My first instinct was kind of anger because, like, say your wife and your kids, you got my wife and kids to do some prank on me.
I'd sort of go, why does Ryan have more authority in my house than I do?
You know what I mean?
So that would piss me off.
You know what she did to it?
It was April Fools?
Punching up.
She said there was an article, she brought it up in the car and told the kids to go along with it that they're banning alcohol sales in 10 days.
And I just went, no, they're not.
Nice prank.
They're not.
All right.
This is from John.
Cool name.
I bet it's becoming a rare name.
Like my son's name is Johnny, and I don't know any other John's that are his age, I mean.
Everyone's working from home at my company.
That means a lot of conference calls.
I cannot tell you how many people at their dogs just bark through a work call.
They chuckle and say stuff like, mailman just stopped by.
That sets my dog off.
As if we would all find that cute.
I hate dogs, John.
Yeah, can't she just mute it?
Can't she mute her microphone while the dog's freaking out?
We went to this dog beach the other day and I was so irritated the entire time.
The dogs, other dogs were Coming up and sniffing me, trying to eat my kids' food.
And I guess I was in a dog beach.
I should have shouldn't have sat down and given the kids anything to eat, but it was so fucking annoying.
And I would go like this, shoo, shoo, to get rid of them.
And then you'd see the owner sort of give me a look, like, why'd you do that?
Uh, because it's a fucking dog.
It's an animal.
What's with that look you're giving me?
It's not a human.
I felt like just saying to everyone, hey, everyone on this beach, these are dogs, not humans, dogs.
Ugh.
Asking about the dog too?
Is that a puppy or a full-grown?
I don't fuck.
I don't know.
I don't.
Is it a boy or a girl?
It's a fucking dog.
Who cares?
You're going to buy a dress?
Who gives a shit what gender it is?
There's no difference besides breeding and they don't breed.
So I feel like I'm a toad.
I hate that question.
Is that a boy or a girl?
Who fucking cares?
They don't have female or male characteristics.
I'm never going to a dog beach again, by the way.
This is from Billy.
Subscriber since the inception.
Burned by Blaze.
G-Dog, you told a story about Jason Bateman saying or doing something incredibly douchey.
Would you please tell it again?
Thank you.
Billy from Bethlehem.
There was a gay bar called The Hole in New York City in the early 2000s.
And what we would do often in there is we'd choose a gay bar and take it over because they had incredibly cheap drinks.
I don't know why the gays got cheap beer.
So we would go to gay bars and they fucking hated us.
It was like gentrification.
It was like you see blacks talking about Jews in Crown Heights because we would slowly take over the gay bar until it was like half straight.
And fun girls go to gay bars and there was better music and stuff.
So we went to this one bar and I was, all the girls there looked like the accelerator video, the legs video.
That was the trend at the time in the early aughts.
Socks with heels.
All the chicks had high heels on.
Every single fucking one of them.
It was heaven.
And they were kind of alternative, right?
Like this was, they'd have army jackets on.
They didn't look like California girls.
They didn't have blonde hair.
And Jason Bateman was there and he, we, he knew David Cross and him were friends because they did that show arrested development.
So David brought him out with us.
And I was like, all right, hello, Jason.
And he felt uncomfortable because he's a douche and he's a normie.
And he was at a cool spot.
So he was there with dress like this, basically.
And he was like, oh, okay.
And then he goes, how much would you give me?
Hey, guys, guys.
Now, first he said, let's get out of here and go to where some hot chicks are.
I was like, what?
Are you fucking blind?
And I realize now in retrospect, he meant like California cheerleader types with fake tits.
No, no, no.
I'll take the weirdos.
Thank you.
And they do Coke in the bathroom and blow me.
And so he's uncomfortable and he's looking around and we're not leaving.
And then he goes, hey, how much would you pay me to get up on that speaker and dance on that speaker?
What?
Why would I give a fuck where you dance?
Like people are going to go, oh my lord, Jason Bateman was dancing on a speaker.
So I said, just to be nice, because I was embarrassed for him because he felt uncomfortable.
I think I put in like five bucks here.
It's your money.
I'm so excited.
Like it was a charity to make him feel more comfortable.
Then about 50 minutes later, I'm talking to someone to come back.
Did he do his little gay dance?
And then right when I was asking that, he comes up and he goes, I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I saw Michael Musto is here from the Village Voice.
And the last thing I need is that ending up on the gossip pages.
What?
So I just went, give me my fucking money back.
And then I took my money back.
What?
And then he left.
And I just thought, that guy's a douche.
Now that's how guys talk to one another.
Other stuff.
What do you think about Pat Dixon from a procreation standpoint?
Three wives, no kids.
Plus, I just learned that Garrett is dating some bitch who's in her late 40s.
What the fuck?
Well, he's.
Garrett's older.
That's around the same age.
Yeah, I think it's sad, though, that she's not having any kids.
Yeah, Garrett is around the same age as his girlfriend.
He didn't listen to me.
I don't approve.
Pat Dixon, get the fuck out of that apartment.
He lives in the smallest apartment I've ever seen.
It's like something out of a...
It's just a bedroom.
That's his entire apartment.
He's got an office in there.
Two people live there.
His wife's giant.
The fuck?
I just got dumped by a dry-egged 42-year-old.
I'm like, hell yeah, bye-bye.
Home to mommy.
That was all the same.
Home to mommy.
Oh, that was the same.
Yeah.
He'd be a great dad.
It's a shame.
So would Anthony.
Oh, everyone who doesn't want kids would be an awesome dad.
And especially the ones who had a shitty dad, and they go, oh, I grew up without a dad.
I'm sort of burnt by the whole idea.
No, you'd be good because you know what it's like to not have a dad.
So you'd like you would be a good dad, Ryan.
Yeah.
And Anthony, he's like, fuck no.
I don't never want a kid.
I'd just be playing my drone.
I like drones and playing video games.
Oh, yeah.
Kids hate that.
Unbelievable.
It's unbelievable, too.
That was more like.
Okay, this one has a picture with it.
It's from a kid named Declan.
Dov, David of.
Hello, Gavin and Ryan, all the way from Paisley, Scotland.
Love the show.
Here, I was talking to my friend the other day.
I tried to tell my subscribers, Censor TV about how you guys are hilarious and all.
I got an automated message instantly telling me that typing out censor.tv and sending it privately to a friend where it can't be offensive to anyone in any way, shape, or form, or against their community guidelines.
What the fuck is that about?
I can see they're so far left that they don't want it on their site, which is gay.
But a private message to a friend?
What the fuck does it have to do with them?
What I speak about in private.
Kind of fucking scary.
Spooky.
I found out something odd about that.
If you capitalize TV, it works.
Oh, really?
Isn't that weird?
Aye.
Yeah.
That's cookie.
Boy.
For the now.
This is from a guy named Chris.
I'm currently writing a movie script, and two characters were discussing children.
I realize your theory about deprenotation resulting in a boy would fit perfectly with what was happening in this scene.
And it is the kind of thing My character would say as well.
I'm seeking your permission to use this theory in my script, and if it ever gets made, I will ensure you receive proper credit for your contribution to the script.
Yes, sir, you may use that, and I won't sue you.
I don't own that concept.
And even if I, even if it was a comedian doing it as a stand-up on stage, I wouldn't give a shit.
But please do it correctly.
It's standing, this is how you make a boy.
It's standing doggy with a deep plunge, and then after you jizz, you fall down on her like collapsing lawn furniture, and you let it sit for 30 seconds.
You got a boy.
Chilo, you got a boy.
Chilo, you got a boy.
Hey boys, I missed the beginning of Friday Nights Alright, but I got a strange blah blah blah blah blah.
I'm confused.
I want to cancel.
I gotta clean that up.
Listen to me.
People will wear the shit out of this.
Love your new sunglasses.
This is from Carson.
You see that?
Carson.
George Foreman performing Connilingus.
Aren't you just going in order?
I'm going in order.
Are you in free speech?
No, you're not showing the whole thing.
I cut it off.
So the on is.
This is a terrible design for a t-shirt that no one would ever buy.
I wouldn't even buy it, and it's my joke.
I know what Fonte's using.
Good to know.
So that was terrible.
This is from Karen.
What happened to Gavin?
Stupid joke.
We'll get him back.
This is from Omio.
I'm about to cancel my membership.
Gavin's off TV from Jordan.
How the fuck does that happen?
What is going on on Friday Nights?
Alright.
Still have Copper Cab.
What?
Yeah, these are all just people bitching about Milo's time-wasting joke.
Alright, should we go to the final videos that was in the other?
Final videos.
You know I sent you?
Final.
So, got to...
Got a bunch.
There's five here.
Six.
Well, we got time.
Let's do a bunch.
Alright.
Let's start with Great Fight.
1-8.
Oh my god, this animal makes me want to quit boxing.
Look at this animal.
It looks like it's sped up.
Look at that.
His uppercuts, huh?
Look, you can't get him.
Look at that fucking Deke.
He's like he's magic.
Look at that.
You can't hit him.
And then Kaboosh.
I don't even know who this boxer is.
But wow.
Is he talented?
It makes me want to go to the gym and do like a huge rail of Coke just to see if I can simulate any of that.
Number 19.
This is a female cop who ain't doing shit.
Ain't nobody got shit for do.
This way.
But he was.
I didn't know he was leaving the scene because he was right.
You know, you can see where the.
Okay, so this guy here is a nut who crashed into her car.
And she's telling a story to a female cop.
He's acting weird and he's about to get crazier and crazier.
Parking in front of my house, like driving, driving, driving, driving, driving.
I can't even get no sleep.
Because they coming outside, running around, I'm on Linwood.
They're coming around, driving around, suckling around.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
Nobody's outside.
Nobody's staring to come outside.
What the fuck, man?
I don't know what's going on.
No, man, fuck that.
Fuck that.
What?
I don't.
You need to be.
Yo, fuck that.
Fuck it.
You know another thing?
Just pause.
Maybe her existence in and of itself is escalating the situation.
Maybe if it was a big, like, Willie McAloon standing there like a big bullfrog, he said, look, you need to calm down.
You're getting a little aggressive here.
I don't like it.
Hey, keep your distance.
He would be like, oh, shit, I better not.
But when it's a woman who's like, calm down, guess, calm down.
It might make him even more incensed or more violent.
Calm down a little bit.
No, I'm not calming down.
Step back.
No, no, I'm not stepping back.
No, I'm not stepping back.
I'm not stepping back.
This is my fucking car.
It's an accident.
No, it's my fucking car.
You act like you fucking don't care.
You act like you don't care.
I don't.
Is that Ellen DeGeneres?
I'm trying to gather information so I can take the report for you, sir.
You need to calm down.
I'm trying to get the grabbing information.
Probably.
A little bit.
Someone's gotta.
I don't know which one.
It's going to grab itself.
This is the craziest thing.
He was going that way.
Well, you wouldn't have to wrap this.
What the hell?
Get on the ground!
On the ground!
He just grabbed her purse and started to run.
What the hell would he do that for?
He's like, I might not have a car, but I'll get to get a purse.
Now, I think she tased him.
Because he sure went down fast.
I hate getting scraped on the concrete.
On your back!
You kidding?
No!
Yeah.
No, no, I'm not.
I hate getting scraped on the concrete.
That's like one of your things?
Yeah.
Get on the ground!
Fucking kill me!
The fuck!
Now!
Fucking kill me!
On the ground now!
Wait, wait, lady, get lost.
Other lady, you're risking a friendly fire.
Cops shoot the wrong person all the time.
Bullet could go through him even.
Or what if it grazes him?
I would get the fuck out of there.
Maybe peer from around the corner of that building.
What is he saying now?
Kill me.
Get on the ground!
No!
Get him!
Get on the ground!
We got a male cop here, please?
Ah, good.
Get on the ground!
No!
Kill me, dude!
No!
Kill me!
Get on the ground!
Fuck all you!
Get on the ground!
I like how he doesn't want to lose his hat.
Kill me, but I ain't losing no hat.
Now look at this.
Ow!
Tongue open.
That was so calm, huh?
Look, motherfucker, I don't got time for this shit.
Okay.
The end.
I will do what you are saying.
Situation de-escalated instantly.
Thanks, Fran.
Get out of here.
Thanks, Ellen DeGeneres.
You did a great job.
Look at his slow walk.
Dude, come on.
He could be holding a donut while doing that.
Put your hands behind her back.
Like that cop you saw the other day when the crackhead was screaming at 2 in the morning outside your place and the cops, what was he doing?
Show us.
Oh, he just was eating gum.
Yeah, let me see.
Where am I?
Where am I?
What are you not there?
He was just like, yeah, there was a homeless guy.
You know what?
Let's put the bangs down.
Oh, for fuck's sakes, forget it.
He's just chewing gum.
And he was like, there's a fucking guy out here at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Fucking yelling and screaming.
I don't know.
You ruined that with your stupid vain hair shit.
All right, let's do two more.
Let's do 2-0.
I want to end with 2-1.
So let's do 2-0 and then 2-2 and then 2-1.
Apparently I got to tell these people that I'm over 18.
Yeah, this has nudity in it.
Warning, folks.
NSFW, there's nudity in this.
All right.
Is that technically nudity?
Wow.
Go back to the beginning.
Wow.
What does she say?
Black Southern Indian.
She hated America.
I'm a black North Indian.
I hate America.
Wow.
I'm a black North Indian.
I'm a Black North Indian and I hate America.
See, again, I said this at the beginning of the episode.
We're done with these.
Those are three.
There's a fat.
That's a fat feminist who's being too loud.
And racism, actually, too.
And racism, yeah.
So this is just removed.
I don't know what we do with it.
Throw it out of a helicopter?
Those might as well be flip-flops.
Feed it to the alligators.
We'll just have boatloads and boatloads going to the Everglades to feed the alligators.
We're going to have an alligator obesity.
How gross that is.
Now, God gave you a body, right?
That's a gift.
And you desecrate it like that?
Isn't that blasphemous?
She comes back, I believe.
Wow.
Shut the fuck up, you nigga.
I will kill you before you get slapped.
I hate that bitch.
I hate this.
What is wrong with this lady?
Bitch, you crazy.
Bitch, you crazy.
Wow.
I'm.
They're so lucky to see that.
Yeah, she loved seeing that in person.
She's just spreading joy.
Okay, I don't remember this one.
2-2.
And we're ending with 2-1, right?
No, actually, I want to watch them all.
Okay.
So let's go.
We are ending with 2-1.
I want to do 2-2, 2-3, and then end with 2-1.
Okay.
I forgot this one.
Oh, fuck.
I just...
I can...
What are we at?
102?
Alright, so no spoilers.
we bleeped out a spoiler.
This looks like it's in Croatia or something?
Everything's too nice for Russia.
What are the packages?
I don't know.
Maybe Italy?
or grease We opened up one of the coke bags and it has a ring in it.
Throw it, throw it, throw it.
Isn't this awesome?
I don't know.
Well, it depends.
I mean, if she was crying and freaked out and mad, then you failed.
But she looks pretty happy.
Oh.
What?
You just got it now?
Everybody's in on this.
Wait a minute, Aaron.
Did you think that the police officers were taking a break while he proposed on his way to the slammer?
I don't know.
I don't know what Russia does.
I'm getting fascinated by you.
Like, I want to, I feel like I could take you to a neurosurgeon or something.
You should come with me to, like, a medical conference.
And I have a big curtain, and it's like the two-headed woman.
And I pull back the curtain.
I go, ladies and gentlemen, this is Ryan Katsu Rivera, a Japanese Puerto Rican who doesn't even fucking get this marriage proposal thing until it's almost completely over.
watch ladies and gents turn turn turn do do do do Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, this is great.
Although, every time I see a beatdown, I'm always frustrated with the lack of rib punching.
Give me your money, motherfuckers.
Okay, here, I gotta go.
Ow, you're hurting me.
You know what?
Fuck this and your gun.
Get him in a headlock.
Look.
Look how unscared this dude is.
He just had a gun pointed at him.
They're punching him like the other guy comes up.
Interesting that there's no kicks, huh?
Should be a lot more kicks.
And this dude's got to do more.
Get in there, fuckface.
Oh, is that guy helping him?
What?
Is that guy, whose side is he on?
Who do you think, genius?
Is he just a neutral...
Hey, let's get out of here, man.
These chads know how to fight.
And now they're calling him a pussy.
They have the gun.
Wow.
You know what they should have done right here?
Shot out all the tires.
He's like, all right, keep the fucking gun.
That's what sucks, too.
It's like, you know you can't have it back.
He's like, dude, can you just empty the bullets out of giving back my gun?
Get in your fucking car.
I'll blow your head off.
You see that?
He pulls a gun on him.
Yeah, your gun.
I got your gun, bitch.
Yeah, the ending isn't great.
I wish they had.
I know I say don't call the cops and handle it yourself, but this is one where the cops probably should have gotten involved.
Armed robbery.
Yeah.
When I say abolish prison, I'm not saying people should get away with armed robbery.
Okay, we've got the last one here.
This is the end of the show.
I hope you enjoyed it.
It was kind of a concept album.
Tomorrow we'll be back.
I said we would be in the city this week, but our building won't let us in.
Can't happen.
So we're going to keep doing these like this.
I don't think it's very different from the show.
Shit, I thought I...
Okay, we'll get them on tomorrow.
I just remembered a guest I had set up and forgot about.
Okay, let's watch this last video.
What's wrong?
I miss Kurt Cobain.
Me fucking too.
My daughter's name is Cobain.
Cobain?
Her name is Cobain Boni Kitchen.
And that's why you're sad?
Because I miss him so fucking.
Is it so late?
You're supposed to meet him for the night.
I know.
I'm fucked up, man.
I met Robert Plant, but I've let Zeppelin.
I was supposed to beat her Cobain Didn't he die.
I love me.
I could make a suicide.
The sweat off that way.
Really?
You could make suicide he woke up?
After 200 pills!
200?
What kind of pills?
Heart medicine and situation.
Now, well, I'm glad you lived because the reason you're here is to tell people about him and let his name live, okay?
Long live Kirk Cobain.
For real.
Cameron wrote it.
It's my birthday.
Unbelievable.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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