Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #41 - GUIDED TOUR OF NYC

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April 3, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:09:55

GOML LIVE #41 - GUIDED TOUR OF NYC

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	Oh, I from New York.
	Get off my lawn Where it is Get off my lawn you Thank you.
	Can you hear me?
	That's a good jam he wrote for us.
	That could be a band.
	We could start a band up again.
	Actually, I'm not doing that.
	I did a band 80s hardcore.
	We were a hardcore cover band that covered 80s hardcore.
	It was exhausting, man.
	That hardcore is a young man's game.
	Welcome to the show.
	Welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
	It is our Thursday live presentation here from Ryan's apartment.
	And I got to say, we are doing a much better job of retaining the merit of this show than Trevor Noah and Samantha B and all of these high-paid celebs who are turning out to be talentless hacks.
	Holy shit, do their shows suck.
	And if you go to censored.tv and check out yesterday's episode, you can see us go through them all.
	Samantha B did a seven-minute joke where she's showing you how to survive in the forest and chop wood, but she can't chop wood very well because women don't have that much upper body strength.
	So she has a lot of trouble chopping wood.
	That's the whole joke.
	And it goes on and on as she tries to hit log after log.
	I don't even really get it.
	Did you think that we thought you were strong enough to chop wood?
	She's like five feet tall.
	Anyway, this first half hour will be free.
	We'll put it up on YouTube.
	And that's why we have sponsors.
	And then we'll go behind the paywall, continue our discussion, and take some calls starting at 10.
	By the way, this is the only show where we have sponsors, this free half hour.
	And the audio, it's on the audio podcast.
	But censored.tv, I'm not reading these things.
	But anyway, thank you for the mug.
	Red Pill Living.
	It says Gavin on it.
	It says the Great Awakening, premium quality coffee.
	We haven't gotten any of it yet.
	things in the supply chain are slow here on this, uh, at this time, why don't you, This entire episode is sponsored by Red Pill Living.
	Right now, my listeners get 15% off all orders.
	It's a coffee place mostly, but they've got other stuff.
	You have to use a promo code Gavin15.
	Look at that.
	Look at that variety.
	Carbon Shield 60 olive oil.
	They've got CBD and tinctures, right?
	They have great coffee and supplements to boost your immune system.
	Go to redpillliving.com.
	Promo code Gavin15.
	You get 15% off all orders.
	Support free speech and support Patriot-owned businesses.
	Why would you drink any other coffee?
	If you have an opportunity to buy something that supports the First Amendment, then you should buy that, right?
	And by the way, you know how I was talking earlier in the week about how I resent that you have all these rich chics in the Middle East who are getting all our oil money because they happen to be on that particular piece of sand?
	I feel the same way about these countries in Central America.
	Like, would they be able to make the coffee if we didn't go in there and show them how to use those beans?
	At least they don't drive cars just on two wheels.
	You know that thing they do in the Middle East?
	Anyway, today's a special app.
	Oh, look, my t-shirt is somewhat transparent.
	I drove into the city last night.
	I checked out all my old haunts, and I wanted to see how abandoned it is.
	And it is.
	It is, I would say, like when we first went there, remember last week we went down and we were interviewing people and whatever.
	No, we weren't interviewing people, although I thought that would be a good idea.
	Get a broomstick.
	Tape the mic to the end and do streeters like this.
	Oh, you can't hear me say that.
	Do streeters really far away.
	Don't make that a Zeke Heil fuckers.
	So we're going to, this hour, I guess, we're going to go through a quick tour of New York.
	We started in Queens.
	Queens is not that...
	There's the foreskin down there.
	Wall Street is the foreskin.
	This is Lower Manhattan.
	Not a lot's happening down here.
	If you're in finance, this is where you go.
	There's some tourists down here.
	There's a 9-11 memorial too soon.
	But that's not a lot happening.
	And it's ironic, too, because when they built City Hall, which is about there, the back of it doesn't look that nice.
	It's the front of it that's really grandiose.
	And that's because they figured, well, New York's never going to be bigger than this because this was all farmland.
	And they thought this will be the sort of edge of the city.
	So let's make the front.
	And then now it's the nothing part of the city.
	So here we get Tribeca.
	And that's like Robert De Niro, Soho, expensive fashion places.
	And then we move over to the Lower East Side.
	East Village, that's more punky and hipster-y.
	This hipsters over here, too, in Greenpoint and Williamsburg.
	But these hipsters are young and sexy and rich.
	If you're a hipster in the Lower East Side, East Village, you're kind of like a weirdo for life.
	Like that's where I should be if I didn't have, you know, kids and a wife.
	This is sort of where you go to be a weirdo for life.
	So these are very different.
	And this Williamsburg, the hipster area, was a total shithole when I moved there in the 90s and we brought vice there because it was cheap.
	And now it's actually more expensive than here.
	In fact, when we opened up a restaurant over here, it was cheaper to open it in the East Village than it was in Williamsburg.
	Now, Greenpoint is Polish.
	That's where we're going to start this whole thing.
	And it's funny because everyone talks about gentrification, and I think I am responsible for gentrifying Williamsburg via Vice.
	Same thing with the hipsters.
	That was us.
	That was the do's and don'ts.
	But the reason this area was so easy to gentrify is because it was empty.
	This was all warehouses.
	There used to be a lot of manufacturing here.
	The ports there would get supplies and there was factories working through the night.
	Then manufacturing died and this was all empty warehouses.
	So there'd be a lot of crackheads hanging around.
	So artists would move in because they needed the space for the lofts.
	So this was easy to gentrify.
	Greenpoint's never going to gentrify.
	Stop buying expensive apartments there.
	The Pole acts are never going to go.
	Similarly, East Williamsburg, well, that's still sort of Williamsburg, but you're getting sort of black and Puerto Rican and Dominican here.
	These people are third generation.
	They're not moving.
	They don't know any other culture.
	Like they, a lot of these people have never been to Manhattan.
	I guarantee you, no one here has ever been to the Empire State Building inside.
	Like they're very parochial.
	Anyway, so let's start out our tour with the Polish part of Greenpoint, which is where I first moved when I moved to New York.
	Greenpoint, Brooklyn?
	This is the first place I lived when I moved here.
	$700 a month they paid.
	And it's basically all Polish.
	And after being here for a while, I started seeing these people every day, these drunk Polaks, and it got depressing.
	And even though I was only paying $700 a month, I thought, I'm not getting the New York experience.
	I'm essentially in Poland.
	So I got the hell out of here.
	And I think I moved to the Lower East Side or Williamsburg.
	I don't remember.
	I hopped around.
	Basically, in New York, you can't get laid if you don't live.
	This is probably, there's a dude saying, what's up?
	This was probably the busiest place we saw in the whole of the city.
	Hi, me.
	Getting some wrinkles there, Gav.
	I didn't realize this because this was our first stop.
	But this area is usually, you know, packed with people, but there were still quite a few here.
	So this is surprising.
	Manhattan.
	It's like having a shitty car in LA.
	So I cheaped it out here in Greenpoint and Williamsburg, which back then was cheap.
	And then I said, I got to find a lady to settle down with.
	So I went to Manhattan, lived in the Lower East Side, and got a wife.
	Just pause for a sec.
	I don't know if I made that clear because I interrupted myself.
	In LA, you have to have a nice car to get laid.
	Or at least I hear you can just have a Prius now.
	But back when I was, you know, in the early aughts, you'd meet a girl at a bar and then you go, let's go.
	And she saw you have a decent car.
	And they would talk about cars.
	Like, yeah, he's got a sub, but it's like, it's a 1989.
	It's a piece of shit.
	And you would never hear that in New York.
	But in New York, if you said, hey, let's go home.
	And she's like, okay, where do you live?
	I live in Greenpoint.
	Oh, so I got to get in a taxi.
	Find one that will go to Brooklyn.
	A lot of them wouldn't do that back then in the early aughts and the 90s.
	So I got to sit in a taxi with you for like 20 minutes.
	No, thank you.
	So it was very hard to get laid.
	But if you lived in the East Village and you said, let's go home, where do you live?
	Upstairs.
	Well, kaboom.
	Well, the good thing about living in this neighborhood is you were never worried about your girlfriend getting attacked because these guys don't have a lot of gumption.
	But I remember seeing one of them was puking in a dumpster and then the other one was staring at him laughing.
	And I just thought, I got to get out of here.
	Here, one detail.
	That woman, go back.
	That woman, she was so shit-faced she couldn't get up.
	And you see this all the time.
	This really bourgeois woman walking her dog, like this rich young hipster.
	Greenpoint wasn't a hipster when I was there.
	Later, the Williamsburg thing spread, but not the way that people say it would.
	It leaked.
	It dripped.
	But anyway, she comes up and you can see her talking like, is she okay?
	What's going on?
	What do you think is going on?
	A bunch of drunks are shit-faced.
	It's that simple.
	It's like one time I was in St. Mark's.
	Here, go forward on the map a bit.
	St. Mark's.
	So where is that?
	Little, little, little, little, little, little, little.
	St. Mark's.
	Does that say 9th Street?
	So I was around here.
	Oh, no.
	It was closer to NYU, though.
	So I was around, let's say, here.
	And this bum just goes, oh, hits his knees and then falls face first.
	And I was walking by a bus shelter and I saw him.
	I was just like, you piece of shit.
	And then he gets up and his nose is bleeding and he ripped his jeans a little bit.
	And these NYU kids, just like the lady I just talked about, are on the phone calling 911.
	And I go, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
	He doesn't want to go to the hospital for a nosebleed.
	He's a drunk piece of shit and he fell because he's wasted.
	Don't intervene.
	There's nothing to be done here.
	And he goes, he's right.
	I am a piece of shit.
	I don't want to go to the hospital.
	And then he just walked away.
	You have to, in New York City, you have to recognize that you're in a shithole.
	Like rats fight for pizza in New York City.
	All right.
	Oh, it's time for our, no, it's not.
	Okay.
	Let's go to a funner part.
	So now I drove from Greenpoint, right?
	And now I'm driving into Williamsburg.
	This is Williamsburg here.
	And by the way, if you're visiting New York City, I highly recommend you fucking get on the L-train and get off at Bedford and just walk around.
	It's a very colorful neighborhood.
	They all hate my guts, even though I'm the man who created it.
	But they don't know who you are.
	And it's got more dense bars and places to check out than the Lower East Side and East Village.
	I've heard someone describe it as it's like the East Village in the 80s without the junkies and the crime.
	That's really what it is.
	So that's a fun trip.
	Anyway, we're just on the edge of it right here in this very important clip.
	This is where I was in a taxi cab with my wife, and I farted one of those farts of Burns Rain Elips, and I knew it was going to smell unbelievable, but so bad that it didn't smell like poo-poo.
	It just was disgusting.
	And my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, said to the cab driver, do you smell that?
	And he says, Yes, I do.
	There is a lot of manufacturing in this neighborhood.
	This is back before it had become gentrified.
	There's a lot of manufacturing in this neighborhood, and you're probably smelling maybe someone manufacturing plastic, the smell of burning plastic.
	And they were both having like an in-depth discussion about my fart.
	By the way, that takes balls to let one rip in a taxicab with a girl you're courting and know that it will not be seen as a fart.
	I'm not even sure I did that on purpose.
	And by the way, these areas we're going into now are usually totally crammed.
	Williamsburg is like Chinatown now.
	We're here at 75 North Forth, which was where Vice was after we went bankrupt.
	That door right there.
	People always say that Vice was started with the welfare grant, and it's not a real company.
	It was created by the government or whatever.
	Okay, that's a whole other argument that I've gotten into a million times.
	But what about after we went bankrupt and we were about a million dollars in debt and we had to go to the Triple Five Souls storage room and work from there and build the company back up from scratch, just like America after the Civil War.
	And it was fun because we'd be up there and we'd see these Hasidic Jews in minivans picking up these prostitutes who basically lived there and they were fucking vile.
	The prostitutes, like one ski boot on, one sneaker, lipstick all over their face.
	And God, truckers would solicit them too after a long drive.
	I guess you want a cheap DJ.
	But they would write all over our stairway.
	I miss you so much, sweetie.
	Mommy's coming home soon.
	I guess I had their kids taken away from being crack kids.
	And if you miss her so much, if you love her, why don't you give up crack for a second?
	There's the guy with the white flag.
	I wonder what that says.
	Can I turn this around?
	And yeah, Williamsburg is totally, not totally deserted, but it's operating at about 1%.
	I love you.
	Keep on going, his sign says.
	Thanks, man.
	That's the sweetest thing anyone in Williamsburg has ever said to me.
	It's funny how the younger the area, the more populated it is.
	Speaking of Johnny Apple's CBD, we use CBD at my gym, and it's a topical cream that we used for our workout action.
	I'm not clearly not going to the gym anymore.
	You know what I did today?
	I bought Peloton shoes.
	I'm going to ride my wife's Peloton like a baby.
	I'm going to be taking spin classes.
	Isn't that embarrassing?
	They don't seem to care.
	Are you working out?
	No.
	I've been making a lot of food though.
	What about Johnny Apple CBD, the website behind me?
	So if you go to johnnyapple.com or jacbd.com and you use the promo code GAVIN, you get 20% off all orders.
	And that's the gummies.
	That's the tincture.
	That's the CBD topical.
	Incredible variety at this place, and they really take the edge off of your anxiety in these anxious times.
	All right, we should get back to the tour of New York.
	Are you enjoying this?
	Is this fun?
	I mean, doesn't everyone want to see what New York looks like?
	And believe me, we're going to go to the Westside Highway.
	We're going to go to that big boat.
	What's it called?
	The Comfort?
	USNS Comfort.
	And Radio City Music Hall, Fox News.
	All of those areas are much more deserted than these hipster enclaves.
	I guess young people think they can't get it.
	Okay, here we are.
	My kidne Williams.
	Hipster Capital of the World.
	Okay, fine.
	Now, I do, I know I look at that guy's hair.
	It's not a hat.
	See, when I created hipsters, it was like a thing.
	It was like an offshoot of punk.
	And it was skinny white jeans, Ryan McGinley, army coats, skateboards, track bikes, MP3s, old vintage Nike shirts and stuff like that.
	Then it went gay.
	It actually split after I left it alone and let it run its course.
	It split into metrosexuals like this guy who might not even be gay and then like biker type looks with like big beards and tons of tattoos and leather vests.
	Anyway, this street is usually fucking jammed.
	So I know I said Williamsburg is more populated than it should be, and I guess it is, but you have to understand, like New York is unique, and I think I say this in the video.
	It is the busiest city I've ever been in.
	When I go back to Montreal and I'm walking around, I just go, where the fuck is everyone?
	So maybe you're just seeing what looks like your town, but you got to understand how unbelievably overpopulated this city is.
	Capital of the world.
	There's a guy with funny hair.
	This is usually packed like Chinatown.
	Not anymore, though.
	Line for Whole Foods.
	Everyone's got their masks on.
	Oh, there's a lineup for Whole Foods.
	They're waiting to go in one at a time.
	It's so expensive here now.
	Only Asians can live here.
	Oh, that guy must be an Antifa.
	Everything's boarded up.
	When I came here first in 1999, you couldn't even get a bank machine.
	And I'll tell you what, you better watch yourself.
	These Puerto Rican kids would run around.
	One of them knocked my friend out with a golf club.
	And a driver came up behind him, smashed him in the head, knocked him clean out.
	I remember when North 7th, you wouldn't go past North 7th.
	There was like the Dominicans on the south side, the Puerto Ricans on the north side.
	And then it got Polish as you got farther down here.
	Wow, this is...
	I guess this looks normal to people in normal cities, but New York City is usually jammed.
	New York City is a very good one.
	Okay, now we're going to cross the bridge and go over into the city where it gets busy.
	Leaving Brooklyn, oy Vey, it says.
	And we are going into Manhattan from Hipster.
	Clay Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
	Doesn't matter which side you go on.
	Hipster's taking their one-track bikes over the top.
	And then you get to see New York Sette.
	Remember one time I was in a taxi right here with my old man.
	He was visiting me.
	Look at that.
	New York Sette.
	It's weird driving on this part because it's hardly enough for two cars.
	But yeah, this bridge took about seven years to build and has been under construction for about half a century.
	And we're above the East River.
	You can see the projects there.
	You can thank Robert Moses for those.
	Third generation welfare living in there.
	Having a cozy time.
	You can see uptown the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building built within a year and a half of each other during the Great Depression.
	No less.
	So we've been through worse, Hadgrader.
	You'll also notice the roads in Brooklyn are not that different from the roads in Iraq.
	I don't know where all our tax money goes.
	I have a feeling it goes to these folks in the PJs, as they're called.
	I'm a big fan of the fashion here on Torines to carry.
	Rock-a-wear and such, but my wife doesn't wear, refuses to wear Rockaware and those Timberland high-heeled boots with stiletto heels.
	Okay?
	I wouldn't want you to say okay, so now we are in the city.
	We're in the East Village where everything New York-y you hear about the classic New York City and what you see at the beginning of this show is the East Village.
	That's where, I mean, hip-hop came from the Bronx, but as far as punk and the fashion and the whole concept of like the cool New Yorker, this is where they're from.
	Why are my noob senses tingling?
	This is his nude senses?
	No, my two sons call each other noobs all the time.
	And he said, what is it about sitting next to you?
	Why are my noob senses tingling?
	Street.
	Nice to be nice Coyetis.
	Pretty darn empty.
	There's the infamous Katz's Deli.
	No one around.
	Oh my God, the Mercury Lounge.
	Look at that.
	I want to go to Mercury Lounge.
	Barf Snippets are playing at Mercury Lounge.
	I know the bassist.
	Mercury Lounge is officially shut down.
	Remember, the strokes told me I wasn't allowed to go there anymore because I made fun of them.
	And they run this town.
	Keep going.
	This is Ludlow Street.
	This is the street I met my wife on.
	I met my wife a lot here.
	It's kind of embarrassing.
	It sounds like one of those guys who was super duper fat and then he lost the weight and looks normal now and he got married and you go, oh, it's a normal guy and his wife.
	But he's actually so thrilled that he has a normal girl for the first time in his life that he talks about his wife all the time.
	Like the way people talk about their dogs all the time and tell you about their likes and dislikes.
	I sound like an ex-fat guy.
	This used to be a junkie hellhole and now look at it.
	Fancy hotels.
	Oh, by the way, for those of you familiar with my book, Death of Cool, this is where I fought Ryan McGinley.
	McGinley, right there.
	That's where I drove a giant hole into his face with my rings.
	Fish is gone.
	Oh, it's sweet chick now.
	Was that where it was?
	So pause.
	That's my old house.
	174 Ludlow Street.
	And on the roof is where I watched two planes crash into the World Trade Center.
	And I hate to recognize that the terrorists are Muslim.
	That feels racist.
	But they were Muslim.
	And by the way, speaking of racist terms, can we stop calling it chink and pox, please?
	That is brutally offensive.
	Ludlow Street, Hipster Central.
	Actually, more like decrepit hipsters.
	Here we are.
	Going down First Avenue.
	Uh-oh, we're low on fuel.
	First Avenue.
	Okay, come on, Potts.
	Anyone who knows New York City, this is, so we're just north of Houston now.
	We were in the Lower East Side on Ludlow.
	This is the East Village.
	This is fucking nuts.
	New York City, East Village.
	Look at that.
	One, two, three.
	Who are these people on city bikes, by the way?
	Do they live in the East Village?
	You know, another thing with the East Village that's changed drastically is NYU students have taken over this neighborhood, and it's not junkies anymore.
	And all the students have gone home.
	So Greenpoint is a lot more residential, and Williamsburg is a lot more residential than the East Village.
	All the East Village, you know, hardcore lifers, they got pushed out a long time ago by students.
	Defines the East Village.
	This is where the sort of New York cool was born.
	Andy Warhol, Sex Pistols, New York dolls.
	Oh, there's people lining up to go into key food.
	This is surprisingly busy.
	That's 4th Street, First and A. I used to have a restaurant down there.
	Mom, you bought me Shoh Leon.
	My wife got food poisoning from a smoothie shop here, and she called them and said, I've been sick for two days from one of your smoothies.
	And the woman said, okay, thank you very much, and hung up.
	Wow, look at this.
	That's where, oh, Niagara's gone?
	Geez.
	Tompkins Square Park, that's where the squatters fought the cops.
	Doc Holidays, this is where everyone congregated on New Year's Eve.
	And during the 2000s.
	Kind of embarrassed of that mistake.
	I meant 9-11.
	I called 9-11 New Year's Eve.
	But we were all gathered at Doc Holidays and all these spots after 9-11 coming together.
	But we're not allowed to come together for this crisis.
	And during the 2004 blackout, it was hopping with people having a good time.
	Not so many people having a good time now.
	East Village is closed for business.
	Okay, I'm going to give you one more before we go behind the paywall, and that is basically the top of the West Side Highway.
	Look at that.
	Beautiful sensor.
	We're here on the West Side Highway where a bunch of people, I think eight, were killed by these terrorists.
	Look at the quality of that sunset.
	You can go see that hospital boat that's next to the attractor just for the south people that are walking out.
	You can see the West Side Highway is pretty empty.
	All right.
	Time to go.
	That went by really fast.
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	I think this would be a great time for you to get heavily involved in gambling because you're bored and it's a good time to start blowing your money on shit for a laugh.
	No, but it does make everything you're doing much more interesting.
	And you obviously can't watch sports.
	So go to Bet Day Aside to see what you can bet on because they're getting very creative with it.
	All right.
	So we're leaving the free zone.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	But subscribers, stick around.
	We've got a lot more to do.
	We've got a lot more to do.
	Cool.
	We're away from those fucking cheapskates.
	All right, let's go by.
	I mean, the only people that are bored by this are people who live in Manhattan, right?
	And I don't think that's probably a fraction of a percent of our subs.
	That's the ship.
	You can't really see it.
	See, that's.
	So there's an I sent you an article about this, Ryan, in the notes.
	So you could see, wait, go back to the picnic.
	You could see the X there.
	That's the Red Cross thing.
	I think the reason that they had to put up this mesh netting is because too many New Yorkers were violating the six feet by crowding around this thing to take pictures of it.
	That's the new N-word.
	So they put up this mesh netting, and even as I was there, you could see people sort of standing up on this thing and trying to get their cameras above or in a hole to take a picture of this boat, which I never really got to see.
	All right, go ahead.
	But these are people standing up on the cement trying to get pictures of it.
	It seems smaller than the Intrepid, but that's probably just the glimpse I got.
	Let's see if we can catch it.
	It's impossible to see.
	Oh, you sort of see it there.
	There, you can see the Red Cross thing in the doodle.
	Did you hear that?
	I got chastised by a cop who was standing on the street.
	Oh, you can't go to that article easily now because you're using that computer.
	Yeah.
	I got to come in there.
	What are you doing?
	This is another problem with female cops.
	Like, when there's a major problem and they have to wrestle someone to the ground, they suck.
	But even that, duh, you gotta put your phone down while driving.
	She sounds like a babysitter.
	You want a cop going, hey, put your phone down, sir.
	That's illegal.
	Hey, you want to get a fine?
	And I go, oh, shit.
	Instead, when I heard that, I just went, what?
	Does a babysitter mad at me?
	Yeah, that's what we just saw one second ago.
	Well, those are all different views, but the first few pictures were where we were.
	Okay, let's get to Times Square.
	Oh, not Nova.
	Times Square?
	Where else do you see a huge M ⁇ M?
	Yeah, Noah's.
	Woo!
	Nowhere.
	I mean, it's my youngest son.
	My wife said, is this Times Square are we here?
	And I go, yeah, where else do you see a giant M ⁇ M?
	It's definitely more abandoned than it was when we were here shooting.
	Still no parking.
	There's cops on horseback up to their own tricks.
	By the way, you childless people who are on the fence, don't you see what's going on?
	You have constant cuteness in the background.
	That's not just on a drive, that's in your house, running around, making funny sounds, coming up with stupid games.
	That's life when you have kids.
	It's like gremlins, but without the water or the sunlight.
	I don't see any tourists hanging around.
	We're right by the stairs where we used to do man on the streeters.
	I guess those are tourists who got stuck here.
	Are those people who live here?
	Look at that.
	Times Square ain't got nothing in it.
	I should probably pull over and film something.
	I stick new filter.
	Rentally ill people abound?
	This is so cool.
	So much TV.
	Whoa.
	Josie, look.
	Yeah, it should put a show.
	Wow, if we show one three stopped mine fringe.
	Oh my god.
	Here we have this.
	Here we have in time square.
	I'm just watching the middle of the road.
	Times Square at 7:30 on a Thursday night.
	Wow.
	This is really once in the time experience.
	The only people you see are people taking pictures of abandoned time squared.
	Speaky.
	Speaky.
	Back up this way.
	Back up.
	Sure.
	You will just go drive by up to Central Park.
	Maybe on the well, it's close anyway.
	It's dusk.
	So here we got Radio City Music Hall coming up.
	This is also where Fox News is.
	Just pause for a second here.
	To be clear, this is Avenue of the Americas, 6th Avenue.
	It's one over from 5th Avenue where Prada and Gucci and all that shit is.
	And if you keep going up this road, obviously you hit Central Park, as you just saw on the map.
	But that's Fox News right there through the awning.
	These streets, this kind of makes the whole thing worth it.
	These streets would be so packed at this time of day that people would be walking on the road and risking getting hit by a car because you couldn't traverse here.
	It was just, it was crotch to butt traffic, human foot traffic.
	Same with this street here.
	These streets look like a rock concert usually.
	And that is from 7 a.m. till probably 9 p.m.
	I mean, a lot of New Yorkers finish work at 8.
	That's not a very 9 to 5 city.
	So for 12 hours, these streets are impenetrable.
	And even after 10, 11, 12, you have tourists going to British pubs, you know, like Irish tourists going to the Irish pubs because they're staying at these hotels while their wives go to a Broadway show.
	It's absolutely fucking rammed.
	So if you're not familiar with the city, this might not look as shocking to you as it should.
	And there's like a person a block.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	There's a Chick-fil-A there now?
	Go back.
	That's not the usual Chick-fil-A we'd go to when we were at Compound, is it?
	Oh, cool.
	There's another Chick-fil-A.
	Will we ever get to go to it?
	Great.
	After the apocalypse, I find out there's two Chick-fil-As.
	There's like a person a block.
	What does dynamite say?
	Dynamite?
	Dynamite!
	Just E-M-T-M.
	In the background, you hear the eldest boy saying to the youngest boy, what does various characters from Brawl Stars say?
	Like, El Primo has begun or something.
	I'm just explaining the context of the banter.
	It's very important.
	There's Fox News, isn't it?
	Yep.
	Just pause, pause.
	Go back, quack.
	That's a trip.
	So, Fox News, by the way, has not lost any quality.
	Unlike Seth Meyers and all that shit, Tucker must be doing it from his home studio.
	It looks exactly the same as his studio in New York.
	I think he already had it built.
	Hannity, I believe, has already built himself a studio.
	He's out on Long Island, I think.
	And his studio looks fantastic, too.
	So not only are the plebes like me and Mark Dice and Joey Salads and Tim Poole and all these guys who do lo-fi two-person shows, kicking ass and taking names, but Fox News, who was always very frugal.
	John Oliver has 14 people.
	Greg Guttfeld, I think, has two people writing for the Greg Guttfeld show.
	So we're learning who is genuinely talented and who can do this on a shoestring and who is just totally pumped up and fake.
	And all those talk show hosts that everyone watches every night, the Jimmy Kimmel, the Jimmy Felon, the Seth Meyers, the Samantha B, the Trevor Noah, where we've just learned, Conan O'Brien, that they're all totally fucking useless.
	Yep, I think.
	And then there's Radio City.
	What does Frank say?
	What does Gene say?
	That's it.
	That's it.
	Wait, go back and just pause it there.
	Look at that.
	Not one person in front of Radio City Music Hall.
	That's where you go to see David Letterman or you used to go see David Letterman.
	That's where you see Saturday Night Live.
	That's the hotspot.
	And it's abandoned.
	Crazy shit.
	All right, let's put up the number to take some calls.
	I have other stuff I want to talk about.
	Oh, yeah.
	Before we take the calls, Someone bumped into Gary in Manhattan, and he doesn't watch the show.
	I don't think he has a computer, but he said that Ryan and I were discussing his sausages.
	And what did he say, Ryan?
	Cut to you on the camera.
	Oh, yeah, let me set that back up.
	Let's see here.
	What about the Easter present?
	Yeah, he said we went through all the cans he'd given us.
	By the way, if you're not familiar with the show, Gary is a decrepit bum who reads mail or tries to read mail.
	And he brought food to our studio in the city.
	We're not at the city.
	We're at Ryan's apartment.
	And when we were going to get equipment, we stumbled upon it.
	It's still here, actually.
	No.
	I don't go over there.
	I probably should.
	I was thinking about filming some stuff.
	Well, my wife said, what's the expiry date?
	What's an expiry date?
	Cans have...
	Expiration date.
	And I never, I forgot that cans have expiration date.
	I'm not really a can.
	I don't really use cans.
	Best if used by August 26, 2021.
	So despite this looking like it's from the 50s, it is new.
	I think.
	Hey, look.
	What?
	I'm over here.
	You look terrible.
	You got to turn that light on.
	Oh, yeah.
	And you're coming in and out of focus.
	Shit.
	This is right after I made fun of all those people for not being professional.
	But the reason I'm doing this is because you do a much better Gary than me.
	And we've got to get you on the show more.
	Your impressions are a big part of this show.
	It's your only talent.
	Oh, yeah.
	I have a new one.
	It's Joe the Tiger King plus.
	I can't see you.
	Oh, it's Joe the Tiger King and Trump.
	Remember that meme?
	Yeah, it was both of them.
	Well, there's two memes.
	There's one where they make Trump into Tiger King, and there's another where they make Tiger King into Trump.
	Oh, really?
	Oh, I didn't see that one.
	Where he's like the president?
	He's wearing like a nice suit.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I was thinking about if we dress up Gary a nice suit, but he comes up to me.
	He's like, hey, hey, let me talk to you for a second.
	And I was like, all right.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	We've got too much going on at once.
	And take your fucking hat off.
	You're so vain.
	It's distracting.
	We can't see your face.
	And you put on a bill that goes and covers your face.
	Jeez.
	Put it backwards.
	Yeah, put it.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Anyway, look at you primping.
	No, this is my ear can.
	I know, but after you put that on, you went like...
	You're like fucking Mariah Carey.
	But I can't sing that good, but I could do great impressions.
	Okay, so do Gary first.
	So the guy talked to Gary.
	He was wondering how we're doing.
	Hey, I'm going to get you Easter present because you've been good to me or whatever.
	And that's about it.
	Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, tune in.
	Someone said Gavin and Ryan were talking about your shit, and you gave them sausages.
	And then what did Gary say to that?
	Oh, the sausages.
	Wow, that was a chore.
	Oh, I mean, I just made this up.
	I just said that they're joke sausages.
	Oh, that was a joke?
	That was a joke, yeah.
	Oh, I thought he really said that.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	I told you that he said that these are just...
	Can I do the Joe?
	Yeah, do the joke that I thought is so unfunny, I just assumed it was real.
	No, not the joke.
	The Joe.
	The Tiger King.
	Oh, okay.
	Anyways, the story Ryan told me was that this guy bumped into Gary and Gary said, oh, they weren't supposed to eat those.
	Those are metaphorical.
	That was just a gesture.
	Yeah, because he wants to bang me is the joke.
	It's like.
	It's like penises.
	God, you suck.
	That wasn't food.
	That's a metaphor.
	Something.
	I forgot how it went.
	But Tiger King, Trump.
	Dude, if you're going to do that joke, it has to be wiener's.
	No one says like, hey, you want to suck my sausage?
	Italian people do.
	I've heard that plant too much.
	Oh, too much.
	Frankly.
	Okay, anyway, Tiger King and Trump, please.
	So, Carol Baskins, frankly, she's a bad woman.
	Okay, we don't like Carol Baskins.
	Okay.
	She steals tigers.
	She doesn't rescue the tigers.
	She hates the tigers.
	I take care, frankly, of the tigers.
	Okay, the great tigers.
	Isn't that awesome?
	That's really good.
	I love that.
	You're really been able to stop.
	Other important news that I, we're having a, I'm doing a Reddit AMA tomorrow, but it's on the Discord, which is like a thing.
	I'm a real expert when it comes to Reddit and Discord.
	I think Discord is like an app within Reddit somehow, or is it a totally separate thing?
	It's a separate thing.
	Okay.
	But anyway, so Discord is like completely, totally unrelated to Reddit?
	Right.
	I had no idea.
	Anyway, there's a Gavin McInnis Discord.
	It's got about a thousand members.
	I don't know.
	And if you go to links, go to censored.tv right now.
	Ryan.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, even if I wasn't talking to you, you should go.
	Oh, he's talking about a website.
	I should probably go.
	I'm trying to get the call in.
	So go to links.
	Okay, that's all the way to the left.
	Links.
	And then you see Discord right there.
	That's awesome.
	So if you click on that, it'll hook you up with an invitation.
	Oh.
	And then you can try to join.
	I think they had tried to screen you, right, because of Antifa and all that shit.
	Inventing that.
	And then tomorrow at 2 p.m., I'll be answering your questions for God knows how long.
	I hope they can filter them because there's so much crap in there.
	I think I get a few questions a lot.
	I think I might write like a long response for the main ones I know are coming, so I have that ready.
	Are you coming over here or are you doing it at your house?
	I guess I could do it anywhere.
	No, I'll do it here.
	I like the keyboard on my computer here better.
	What time are you thinking?
	So that's tomorrow, Friday at 2 p.m.
	2 p.m.
	Every p.m.
	Be there.
	2 p.m.
	All right, setting up the call in the studio.
	Just need about a minute.
	What else did I want to say?
	Gary's sausages.
	So your stupid joke made it to my notes.
	Oh, yeah.
	We haven't been talking about coronavirus.
	And that's because I don't know that much about it.
	And I'm not going to sit here and tell you stuff you don't know.
	So I only say facts that I'm positive about.
	One thing we've heard about is there's a cure, apparently.
	They want you to hydrate with chlorine.
	So, if you have a pool or something, you probably have chlorine, put that into a mug, drink that down.
	Also, if you see chlorine pucks in a urinal, you want to squeeze those into a mug like this from Red Pill Living.
	And if you hydrate with chlorine, you can cure the thing.
	Another tip we have is people have been walking around really lonely and sad.
	And if you see someone like that and they don't have loved ones with them, it means they're alone in their apartment, go up, give them a hug.
	Just say, hey, we're all in this together.
	Give them a kiss.
	If they don't recoil after the kiss, maybe just sort of go, hey, man, we're all in this together.
	And then just sort of go, And girls like it when you touch their hair.
	So run your fingers up the back of her hair and be like, That just reminded me, by the way, why I hate short hair so much.
	I dated a girl in the 80s called Krista Sands Regret.
	I think she was an Indian.
	I've always had a fetish for Indians.
	But sons regret, S-A-N-S regret, means without regret.
	So this fucking Indian had a weird French name that is without regret.
	That must be an Indian trying to do French.
	I don't fucking know.
	But anyway, she was like a skater punk chick, and she'd shaved her head all here, but it was long on the top, like really long on the top.
	But when I would make out with her, my hand would go up the back of her, and I'd just feel this.
	I felt me.
	I felt spiky, stubbly manhair.
	So ladies, we know you think you look pretty when you have like kooky bangs and you have a spunky do.
	And you do at a certain angle, it's believable.
	But when we're fucking you from behind and we look down and we see a 10-year-old or we're touching the back of your head and we feel some skater kid, that's rape.
	You're raping me by switching out a chick with a boy.
	And if you don't want to do time, then you should probably stop doing that.
	It's not chlorine, it's chloroquil.
	Oh, this guy probably wants you drinking fish cleaner.
	No, you shouldn't do that.
	That actually killed a guy.
	We're getting a lot of negatives out of you and what you can't do.
	I don't like no.
	I'm not supposed to touch anybody.
	You're not supposed to touch anybody.
	Shut up, Rufio.
	All right, does anyone care enough to call us?
	They do.
	We have Jim calling it up YouTube.
	My brother, first caller, do I get a prize or what?
	Come on.
	Oh shit, we don't have a giveaway today.
	Fuck's sakes.
	First time I ever get in first haul.
	I like to watch it occurs for me.
	My ex used to like that.
	She wanted to watch me fuck a stranger.
	And just watching you watch Ryan, I'm really clear.
	I like to watch you watch Ryan when he's doing impressions.
	Is that gay?
	Am I gay?
	Uh, yeah.
	Did you say...
	Yeah, you're gay.
	Did you say chinkinpox?
	Yeah, we're really trying to stop people saying that.
	We think it has racist connotations, and it's best just to say COVID-19.
	Chinkinpox is something that I, you know, I don't care if this thing gets cured, but if I can wipe out the word chinkinpox and have people stop saying chinkinpox, I will be happy.
	Because in many ways, chinkenpox is more damaging to the country than the actual virus.
	I think CNN is more damaging to the country than coronavirus or chinkenpox or whatever.
	Dude, I need help, man.
	Who is going to have a class action lawsuit against YouTube from all of us young dweebs, noobs, these small YouTube channels that are getting censored, man?
	Listen, I cannot be married in the comments section of a YouTube channel that I don't have, dude.
	She's very Canadian guy.
	Didn't I bet you $100 you're not getting married?
	Well, I mean, it's a work in progress, but dude, we wanted to be married in the comments section.
	This is a sticking point for her.
	So I don't get it, dude.
	Maybe I'll be able to get a little bit more.
	I hope we can help out in the future.
	Have you guys noticed when you wear these masks with glasses, they fog up?
	Apparently, they're ineffectual, too, unless it's a perfect seal everywhere.
	Like, I feel like some air is getting in here.
	Probably not.
	Somebody talking about Gary cooking.
	What's up?
	How's it going?
	What's up?
	So, didn't Ryan used to have like a cooking show at one point?
	I produce cooking with comics.
	Larry's cooking with comics.
	Put your face on the screen this entire time.
	It's complex.
	Okay.
	Do you think you could host Gary as one of your cooking buddies?
	Oh, my.
	That guy fucking reeks.
	And we have to sanitize the desk after.
	The idea of getting involved in a kitchen scenario with food and touching, like his nails are about an inch long.
	Yeah.
	That's fine.
	You could just do it there.
	No, I don't want to do it at my house.
	Thank you.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Brian, from now on, when I go like this, it means cut the call.
	Okay.
	Cody.
	Yeah, what's up, guys?
	What's up, Cody?
	What's the dude?
	So I noticed you guys talk about the specification of men.
	Yes.
	Very difficult specification.
	Exactly.
	So since 1900, the infant mortality rate has dropped 99% up to 2000.
	So I noticed in that 100 years, it's dropped 99%.
	So basically, all the weak infants, all the weak babies aren't dying.
	So basically, what we have is people that should have died, they're still alive now.
	And, you know, politics is downstream from culture, like Breitbart says.
	So basically, my thought is, since we have more surviving children, we're getting more pussies.
	I don't know if I support your theory.
	You're forgetting two world wars that wiped out a lot of fucking brave men.
	And you're forgetting that a lot of that infant mortality rate was from polio and other diseases that don't necessarily only affect pussies.
	I think that it was the discovery of penicillin that led to such a drastic reduction in the mortality rate.
	Well, what I'm saying is we're saving more people, right?
	We have more vaccines.
	Granted, the world wars, yeah, but more people are surviving.
	That's why I made this gesture that Ryan is not paying attention to.
	Sorry, sorry.
	But thank you for calling.
	I think it has more to do with antibiotics and stuff like that.
	They're definitely more pussies.
	I think it also has to do with affluence.
	You know, they say we're having less babies, but so are Mexicans, believe it or not.
	In Mexico, the country, they're having less babies than they did the generation previous and the generation before that because they have more money.
	And when people are more affluent, they are more likely to have less kids.
	I guess I could have just said less likely to have kids.
	Next go.
	What are you doing petering around there, by the way, when I'm doing my cool gesture?
	Oh, I can't see it sometimes because I'm looking around.
	I'm trying to set up some sound drops here.
	And then also trying to get the webcam on here so that way I can...
	There's a reason, but it's...
	But maybe if you're going to be boring, wipe my neck with the knife.
	I'd be able to recognize it.
	Jackson, maybe I'll just whip it.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Yeah, hit it into the wall.
	I'll return it back to you, but I won't throw it back.
	I'll hand it back.
	But you throw it at me.
	That would be a good initiation to a game.
	Holy shit.
	Because this is a leatherman, so it's very bottom-heavy.
	So the odds of the knife going into you are low.
	However, in that one in 30 times, it does go in, it's got a lot of action.
	So much weight.
	So it's going to go in.
	It's like a kid.
	It's going to go in like an inch.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And if it gets you in the wrong spot, right in the pituitary glands or whatever, you're the Stephen Hawking of the gang.
	It'll be a disaster.
	Jackson talking about Burger King.
	Yo, what's up, niggas?
	How are you guys?
	I guess this question's for both of you.
	Who do you think is better, Corn or Slipknot?
	I like you more than a friend.
	I want to fuck you with my new sunglasses.
	Thank you for calling.
	Corn.
	I fucking hate both those bands.
	I hate anyone who likes either of those bands.
	In fact, our favorite joke in the early aughts was, what kind of music do you like?
	Oh, early Janes, late chains, peppers and rage.
	And that's Ryan's record collection right there.
	Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
	So I'll leave that to Ryan because I'm not familiar with either band.
	I would never listen to any of those.
	Remember, wait a minute.
	I remember Corn.
	So there was an awesome band called Sepultura who did, they went down to the Amazon jungle and recorded with actual Aboriginals.
	And they recorded an album called Roots.
	Roots!
	Bloody Roots!
	And the Aboriginals are on the album, like, and playing bongos and stuff.
	And a lot of their, they're using their Aboriginal language.
	So they're like, speaking their crazy language on the album.
	And it's a work of art.
	It should be in the Smithsonian.
	Then Corn heard that, and I think Corn started just going, ripping off Sepultura's thing, but you're ripping off an Aboriginal language.
	They weren't just babbling.
	I thought that they were ripping off like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead.
	Shut up, Bob.
	This is such a cool, advanced idea for an album.
	Well, Sepultura are, what, Argentinian or something?
	Oh, I think Sepultura is an actual thing beyond the band, so I have to.
	Wait, that wasn't them?
	Bloody Roots, here we go.
	Roots!
	Bloody Roots!
	If you don't know why this is different from Corn and Slipknot, then there's something wrong with you.
	Oh they're from Brazil Anyway, you get the idea.
	Then they have the Hookabaka Bookabaka guy going.
	All right.
	It was between Corn and Slayer or Layer?
	Slipknot.
	Corn Slipknot.
	Oh, Corn, easily.
	So shitty Ryan and his shitty music says shitty corn are the best.
	Yes.
	And I don't listen to him a lot, but they got some hits.
	Calling about Gavin's book, Green Hills.
	Hey, Gavin, hey, Ryan.
	Hope you guys are staying healthy and away from the COVID.
	I got a quick question for you, Gav.
	I started a business eight years ago in Canada.
	It took off pretty good, but now I had to lay everybody off.
	So my game plan was I was going to write a book after 10 years, so now I'm starting to do it because it's a little bit of a niche market.
	I got some funny stories with work.
	So I read your book in quarantine, and it was awesome.
	It's just cool.
	And just wanted to ask you how you got started on it.
	Did you start writing the chapters one through the whole book?
	Or did you just start writing your stories and just piecing it together after that?
	I think it's best to go in chronological order.
	So page one, you start writing page one right away.
	And then, because you're going to say, it's like I told you with the Aboriginals with Sepultura.
	They make that, and then even, you know, you're saying that 50 pages in.
	Here, I'm glad you called because this is important advice.
	The hardest part about writing a book is just the sheer work of it all.
	It's like if you had to line your entire floor with toothpicks and they all had to be touching and perfectly Parallel, it wouldn't really matter, you know, if there was a mistake here and there or what kind of toothpicks you use.
	The actual getting on your hands and knees and gluing down the toothpicks is 90% of it.
	So, you got to get it out.
	And for that, I recommend Adderall.
	Stephen King would use Coke.
	I find Coke is a little too uppy-down.
	So, Adderall gets it out, right?
	And then you have a couple whiskeys to give it balls.
	You'll notice that you're like, I don't want to be judged this way, and people might perceive it this way if I write that.
	And then when you've had like a whiskey and a half, you're just like, well, this is what happened, and fuck you if you can't take a joke.
	So, whiskey gives it balls, right?
	And then that's one pass.
	Now smoke a dube.
	And pot makes it funny.
	So go back through it.
	Or maybe as you're writing, you could also have one little dube.
	Don't go crazy with any of this.
	When I say Adderall, I mean a quarter of a pill.
	When I say whiskey, I'm talking about one and a half.
	When I say pot, I'm talking about like, especially with modern pot, more like and then throw it away.
	So Adderall gets it out.
	Whiskey gives it balls.
	Pot makes it funny.
	It's up to you, the order that you do that in.
	Obviously, you have to start with Adderall, but it's up to you whether this is all at once or if it's separate passes.
	Then the morning after you have a coffee, you're fresh, you've had breakfast.
	Now you go back over what you wrote yesterday and take out all the shit.
	And one of the best places you can get writing advice is Charles Murray's book, The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead.
	And his big message in that book with writing is kill your darlings.
	I know you love this little quip.
	I know you love this little anecdote.
	If it can possibly be cut from the book without hurting the story, then cut it from the book.
	You've got to circumcise your stories.
	You've got to cut out all the extraneous banter because that's when the reader's mind is going to start wandering.
	And the other last piece of advice I give is you really got to cut out a large piece of time for yourself.
	Because once you start getting into the rhythm, you can do a good three hours of writing a day.
	And three hours could be 4,000 words.
	A book is only 80,000 words.
	That's why I'm doing that now, right?
	Because I have to lay everybody off from work.
	And I don't see this settling up anytime soon, to be honest with you, and getting back to the grind.
	So now I know it's kind of all the time in the world, right?
	Yeah, yeah, I think you can write a book in a month.
	I mean, it's in that.
	Definitely three months.
	But the hardest part I find is if I write an article, I have to read it three or four times to see where I'm getting bored or where it's losing its vitriol, its exuberance.
	And that's easy.
	I can read 800 words 10 times in a row, no problem.
	But when your book is getting towards the end and it's like 60,000, 70,000 words, you have to keep rereading all that?
	Holy fucking Lord.
	That is a bitch.
	So how long did it take you to write the death to cool?
	How long when you pumped that out?
	You know, my wife really helped because she brought in her mother-in-law.
	And if my wife's just dealing with the kids alone, I start to feel guilty and then it distracts me.
	But when I knew the mother-in-law was there picking up the slack and giving my wife a break, I think I was done in two and a half months.
	But it was 100% done.
	It's not a lucrative endeavor anymore.
	So don't get your hopes up about getting any money.
	It's not a lucrative endeavor anymore.
	So don't expect any payment.
	Oh, no, no.
	I'm just doing this.
	Just like I said.
	I do hoarding cleanup.
	So the stuff I've seen in eight years of work doing it's just crazy.
	Wait, are you the guy that drives the sanitation truck, the Canadian dude?
	No, no, that's not me.
	No, no, no.
	I'm a smaller version of DASP.
	But no, like I said, I had 13 employees up until a couple days ago.
	But yeah, no, it was going good.
	But then the well, if it's any consolation, the people you fired, a lot of them were dicks.
	And that's something that, and thanks for coming, by the way.
	That's something we have to notice in this whole epidemic as we go through this together.
	A lot of first responders are dicks.
	A lot of these nurses that are helping, a lot of the doctors, the ones you see with the lines here, some of them are really good people working hard.
	Some of them are assholes.
	And a lot of them are racist.
	In fact, that's where I got the word chinkenpox is from first responders.
	We got Nate talking about martial law.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	Hey, so I am just recently hired as a cop in one of my out here in Washington State.
	And Jay and Lee, the stupid governor, said that we could, departments could enforce martial law.
	And I am a person who is a constitutionalist.
	And I just wanted to hear what your thoughts were about cops enforcing martial law.
	Do you think that's worldly for me?
	If that's something I had to do, is it something that I should maybe think about quitting for or just do it and proceed?
	Anyway, thanks, guys.
	Don't do it.
	You know, in Virginia, when they were talking about the governor, Governor Blackface, as Tucker calls him, said they were going to confiscate the guns, the local police said, yeah, no, we're not doing that.
	We're constitutionalists.
	And if someone tells us to go door to door confiscating guns, we're just not showing up for work that day.
	So I know I say get fired, get in trouble.
	A cop losing his pension is $4 million.
	So I don't think you should barge into the station and quit.
	I just think you should just do your job badly when it's time for martial law.
	Okay, go to 36 Elmer Crescent and kick down that door.
	Okay, I'm on it.
	Then like, go get a donut.
	Fuck.
	Just leave.
	Just go somewhere else.
	Just be a half-assed fascist, which is a half-ascist?
	Jay City's calling about New York City bridges.
	It's your boy.
	Hey, guys.
	Hey, my name is Jezy.
	Hi, Gav.
	Hi, Ryan.
	Hey, I'm calling you guys because, you know, Gavin, I really liked that first part of the show where you were driving around New York.
	Oh, good.
	I was worried it was more.
	Well, the reason I'm saying that is because I actually am a New York City bridge inspector, but I very rarely step foot in New York.
	The reason that your bridges suck so bad is because there's no way to build the bridges in New York.
	They build them all over the country, and then they bring them in, ship them in, put them together.
	And, I mean, I've been as far as Nevada inspecting pieces for the bridges in NYC.
	So you're obviously not talking about the Brooklyn Bridge because the Brooklyn Bridge was built there.
	Well, yeah, buddy, I wasn't alive in fucking 1812.
	So when was the Williamsburg Bridge built?
	Oh, man, do you know how many bridges there are in New York City?
	I don't know when that one was built, but what they're doing right now is they're trying to rehabilitate the entire city to where all the bridges are going to last 100 years, which is, you know, that's pretty bold.
	It's going to take many, many years for that to happen.
	But I mean, right now I'm in New Hampshire inspecting on New York City bridge pieces.
	That's nuts.
	Wow.
	Yeah, I've been in New York, Tennessee, Ohio, Nevada, Illinois.
	I've actually been in Chicago, been in Indiana, been in North Carolina.
	What do you think of the Tappan Z Bridge, or as Cuomo calls it, the Andrew Cuomo Bridge?
	Well, I can tell you the Tappan Z Bridge was a disaster from the start.
	And I actually never worked on the Tappan Z, but it's a big talk among a bunch of inspectors because we're third party and we're hired by the DOTs or whatever entity from we have inspection and engineering firms and we're hired to go all over.
	So we all talk to each other.
	And the Tappan Z bridge is like, it's gone down in history.
	It's going to go down in history.
	Wait a minute.
	I'm sorry to interrupt, but when we talk about Tappan Z, are we talking about the old one or the one they just finished like six months ago?
	The brand new one.
	Okay.
	Big old piece of shit.
	Well, I'll be dipped.
	It's fucking horrible, dude.
	The new Tappan Z bridge has so many problems with it that you don't know about.
	I could get fired for this.
	But, you know, I guess you say.
	No, no, no one knows who you are.
	That one's a big nightmare.
	Wait a minute.
	I'm sorry.
	What kind of problem does it have that I should know about it?
	Should I drive on it?
	Absolutely.
	You can drive on it.
	That's a non-fracture critical material bridge.
	So that means that there's a ton of redundancy built into the bridge.
	So even if there's a ton of failures and stuff, it's just going to be constantly inspected, constantly rebuilt.
	And it's going to, you know, they'll just do a little piece by piece.
	And, you know, it's never going to fail.
	Don't worry about it.
	You guys can drive on it.
	Any bridge in that city, you can drive on and it'll be fine.
	But it costs so much money for your city to build these bridges.
	And guess what?
	None of the people that inspect your bridges and make sure all you guys are safe, none of us are from fucking New York City.
	Yeah, I've got that part.
	So do you think this redundancy is built in?
	Do you think the government wants shitty bridges?
	So the lowest have to be built.
	No, no, no, no.
	When I say redundancy, I mean if there's a failure, it's not going to be catastrophic.
	No, I understand that.
	I just like, why does the bridge suck so bad?
	Because the Williamsburg Bridge, the entire time I lived there, which was like 15 years, it was constantly, there was constantly construction on it.
	And I looked up and I saw it was built in seven years.
	And I'm like, you built a bridge in seven years and you've been repairing it for 30?
	Bro, there was probably seven years of planning before that that they completely just fucked up.
	I mean, they fuck every it's it's what it is is the engineers are people that shouldn't be there.
	The the fabricators and the inspection and stuff, that's usually done right.
	But what happens is engineers get pressure to accept things that they shouldn't accept.
	Why?
	Because whoever is actually paying for the bridge, like whatever entity is actually, you know, issuing the money for the bridge, they will pressure engineers into accepting things that they shouldn't accept.
	And engineers, I don't know if you've ever worked as an engineer.
	That's what I used to do.
	Now I'm an inspector, but you have timelines, you got bosses pressuring you.
	And sometimes they don't know what they're doing too.
	Like they've never been in a shop where dudes are welding.
	Like I started out as a welder.
	And, you know, if you don't know the shop, if you're the engineer that's in control of the job and you don't know the shop, you don't know the shop environment and what it's like, you have no idea.
	Sometimes an inspector will be bringing something up like, dude, this is not, this isn't good.
	Like this is going to cause you problems later on down the road.
	And they're like, oh, well, you know, it'll be okay.
	Somebody else.
	And then what I think what their mindset is, somebody else will deal with this later.
	And that's what you're looking at right now.
	So that's just tax money.
	You might as well just be throwing your tax money into the fucking niche.
	That is true of so many businesses.
	I saw this great Tower Records documentary called This Too Shall Pass, I believe.
	And the secret to their success was every top brass CEO guy used to build shelves at the record stores and sell records, and they slowly worked their way up.
	So every rich CEO, every executive had intimate knowledge of the bottom.
	And I think that's the only way to build a successful business.
	That's honestly the way it should be.
	I mean, I started out, I swept forward to the machine shop, became a welder, weld shop supervisor, certified welding inspector, welding engineer.
	And then I got into engineering and saw how fucked up everything was.
	And I was like, you know what?
	I'm just going to go back and be an inspector.
	Cool.
	All right.
	Look, we're out of time with this call, but that was fascinating.
	Good to know.
	We got Curtis McVay, Podesta emails and stuff.
	Hey, how are you?
	Good.
	So just wondering, I know this is a couple of years old, but I wonder if you guys went down the same rabbit hole that I'm Going down right now with like the Podesta and Clinton emails that leaked, and there's like FBI code words like hot dog and pizza referring to young girls and young boys.
	And it involves Marina Abramovic, who is a known witch and Satan myth, and they apparently do witchcraft ceremonies with Clintons.
	And then it ties all in with the comic pizza and Pizzagate and all that.
	So anyways, I was just wondering what your opinion was on that whole chick.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I'm too lazy to pursue it, really.
	I looked into a little bit and I saw that Marina Abramovic chick and they have like ceremonies with her body.
	And the vibe I got from watching her was that these are, you know, politics is Hollywood for ugly people.
	And these are boring, ugly people with money who want to be part of something that's exciting.
	So she's like this exciting, dangerous artist.
	And they go, I want to go to one of her, what are they called again?
	Like hate rituals or something?
	Oh, spirit cooking.
	Spirit cooking.
	I want to go to a spirit cooking and then I can be all cool.
	It's nerds trying to be cool and getting invited to the in-crowd of the art world.
	And then I looked into Comet Pizza a little bit.
	I never really found any hard evidence.
	And yeah, the Podesta emails, I don't know.
	And I talked to people like really involved, like Laura Loomer and Cassandra Fairbanks and Mike Cernovich.
	And I go, are they molesting children there?
	And I think all of them recently said, we don't know.
	Could be really bad.
	And I just thought, all right, well, I don't have the energy.
	It's like Laura with the Vegas shooting.
	She went down there and investigated for weeks and weeks.
	And we still never got the whole story.
	So I kind of gave up, but I'm open-minded.
	I like conspiracy theories because it's really just curious people trying to find out if someone's doing some dark shit.
	If you ever have free time, a documentary I'd recommend you watch is called Who Took Johnny.
	It's a story of Johnny Gosh.
	He was a young boy who was abducted on his mail room back in the 70s.
	And he was their first boy ever featured on a milk carton.
	And so anyways, the documentary is all about who took him, all this and that.
	But then later on in the story, they arrest this guy for pedophilia.
	His name was Paul Bonacci.
	And you can watch all of his deposition tapes on YouTube where he confesses to abducting Johnny Gosh.
	And he knew about birthmarks on his body that were never released to the press.
	So he knew a bunch of stuff.
	And he was talking about, you know, a bunch of people high up in government flying them both to like the White House and secret sex surgeries with elite people in Hollywood and in government.
	So I'd recommend watching that favorite.
	I don't rely on documentaries too much for information, too.
	I don't know how many truthers have told me to check out a documentary.
	Let me ask you something.
	Are you gay?
	Yeah, I called you last week.
	I was the one that admitted that maybe gays have mental illness.
	Why are you gay?
	Beats the hell out of me.
	Ask my mom and dad.
	Were you touched as a kid?
	You know, I don't think so, but then, you know, maybe I was and maybe I'm, you know, suppressing it.
	And maybe I need hypnotherapy to bring it up.
	I don't know.
	Because I wonder why you have this inclination to do so much research about child molestation.
	I have a lot of free time.
	I'm not working too much right now.
	Okay.
	Well, tell you what.
	If you find any solid evidence about Comet Pizza or any of that, we would love to see it here on the show and get to the bottom of it.
	I just, I haven't seen anything concrete yet.
	I'll send you guys an email for sure.
	All right, buddy.
	Thanks a lot for calling.
	Okay.
	Is it gay that somebody's following up here, following?
	That sounded like Faith Goldie.
	Somebody's following up here, Govin.
	She has lost her Canadian accent.
	That's crazy, Govin.
	I think, maybe I shouldn't be saying this publicly, but I think she went to a speech therapist.
	Oh, that sucks.
	No, it doesn't suck.
	I told her that.
	I said, look, you're a fucking amazing orator.
	I saw you.
	We did a speech together in Toronto, and she just off the cuff, just fucking nailed it and was hilarious.
	I honestly thought she could be the next prime minister.
	But I said, as far as the national stage, or sorry, international stage, right?
	If it's Canada, you got to lose that fucking accent.
	It's really distracting.
	You sound like you're in Fargo.
	What kind of accent do I have in?
	I really do.
	Hey, fuck, what's going on?
	Faith Goldie here, having a dart, just fucking talking about politics and fucking Justin Trudeau.
	He's such a fucking pussy, eh?
	Russell's asking, is it gay?
	What's up, Brussels?
	Yo, what's up, bad?
	Why are you gay?
	Hello?
	Hello.
	Okay, can you hear me?
	Yeah, it's Mark Norman.
	Ryan, can't you make your face part of this show?
	People are just looking at me standing here with a microphone like a mute comic.
	It's not easy, but I can try.
	So or not.
	Go ahead.
	Go ahead, call her.
	All right, so is it gay?
	We know that gay sex is gay because a male penis inserts a male butt.
	Yes.
	But is it gay in regards to pegging, when a female pegs a man?
	Yes, it is gay.
	Dan Savage pushed this for a long time and said it's not gay.
	It's just a type of having sex.
	You should find it alarming when it happens.
	You can try it once with a small one.
	Wow, that James.
	But generally, you should find it alarming to have done to you.
	And I said, Dan Savage keeps saying that it's not gay, but he's full of shit.
	He's just trying to recruit straits.
	And then Dan Savage in a column conceded that I was right, and he was just fucking around trying to make straits into fags.
	Why?
	Are you getting pegged by your misses?
	Nope, far from it.
	Nope.
	That's funny that you mentioned try with a smaller one because when I first got on Reddit, one of the first pages I somehow came across was Sex Over 30.
	And this woman posted about trying pegging with her man.
	And, oh, it was a grotesque story that I just, it was scarring.
	It was like it was written by Chuck Polynuck or something, right?
	Just a lot of fluids.
	You should try different stuff.
	I mean, look, maybe you should try it to see if you like it.
	But generally, I find that when women are doing, like, I don't like being massaged, and I don't like the idea.
	Like, one time this chick tied me up, this is like 100 years ago, tied me up and put an ice cube all over my body.
	And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	That's the canvas trying to do stuff to the painter.
	You go over there.
	You're the canvas.
	I'll do the painting.
	Thank you.
	You're not pegging me.
	Actually, you know what I did about a year ago?
	I said to my wife, can you try giving me a reach around?
	I want to see what that feels like.
	That might be a position that we do.
	And then I tried it for like 10 seconds.
	I was like, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip, nip.
	It is a disaster.
	We're not doing that.
	I'm not a big massage fan.
	That is insanity.
	If someone is going like this, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
	It's insane.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, but pegging is gay.
	Yeah.
	You fuck.
	Do you like getting a massage, Ryan?
	Yes.
	You're a chick.
	Oh, my God.
	We got a stay-at-home mom.
	If I could click her.
	I want to get back to.
	Hi, Gavin.
	Hi, stay-at-home mom.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Rye guy.
	No, Padre.
	I got my shirt in today.
	Truly appreciate it.
	The clown world.
	Oh, great.
	How many kids do you have?
	Unfortunately, I only have one.
	By the time we were going to have more, I ended up having a pretty bad stomach disease, and it just doesn't lend well to having more kids.
	But we really did want to have a lot.
	But there's always blacks to adopt.
	Okay, see, I said adopt, but my husband was like, listen, I don't want other people's problems.
	And I understand.
	I really do.
	Okay, so listen, I listen and watch you while I'm working out and doing my chores.
	What's your workout?
	Peloton?
	Hell no.
	Well, no, no.
	I do, we have a workout, a gym at the house.
	And so we have a punching bag.
	I love hitting the punching bag while you're talking.
	Or Larry, I love watching that show.
	I also have a weighted hula hoop.
	I'm a girl.
	I like doing it.
	And I use a lot of my own body weight.
	However, the other day you're talking about your daughter's homework in the 50s ad.
	And I was like, I just had to call you about this because I like to think of myself as a 50s housewife.
	I enjoy doing chores.
	I enjoy keeping my house clean and my family happy.
	I do a lot of volunteering at my son's school.
	And so this year I decided that as the media is pushing stay-at-home moms, we're losers, we're nothing, I decided that I was going to start going to my son's school and showing them the other side, the perspective from my side of how great it is.
	And, you know, this is what you should want to do.
	And guys, work hard so you can have a woman that stays home.
	And women, when you stay at home, this isn't eating bonbons and Peggy Bundy.
	This is you're making lunches and breakfast and dinner every day.
	You're cleaning nonstop.
	And can I just interrupt you?
	You're cleaning your own house.
	There's this sort of slave thing that I was brainwashed with when I was a young man, that you're cooking and go make some, cook them some fucking eggs, woman, like they have in that movie Once for Warriors, and you've got to scrub the floors.
	If you're scrubbing your own floors and then you look down and you go, wow, the floors are spotless in my bathroom that I put my makeup on in or whatever.
	I have a clean bathroom now because of me.
	It's like having like your own cleaning your room, as Jordan Peter would say, satisfaction.
	And let me tell you, my clean, it takes me 10 minutes to clean this house top to bottom because when you do it every day, it's nothing.
	And like you just wake up and you just start working.
	And I also have a garden.
	I have chickens.
	So I do a lot of stuff outside, inside.
	And when you were talking about your daughter and the 50s ad and how she should answer it, I said, you know what?
	Like I go to my son's school and I show them that it is really great to be a stay-at-home parent.
	But I do want to tell you the demographic, it's crazy that the white girls, they want to do it.
	They're like, that's great.
	I love it.
	The white boys tend to make fun of me.
	Like one kid was like, yeah, well, at least my mom works.
	And my son and I had a nasty story.
	And I bet her job is so stimulating.
	She's an oncologist and she's in the lab and she's curing cancer and she's coming up with new antibodies for antidepressants or something for some sort of super antibacterial drug.
	No, she's doing bullshit fucking Excel spreadsheets, getting everyone's meetings, working on their social media, totally useless fucking garbage.
	It really is.
	And I'm over here teaching my son about politics and taxes and saving money and working.
	And I feel so much better as you can be a yes ma'am to them or subservient to them.
	And it feels really good.
	So like keep pushing the stay-at-home moms.
	It is awesome.
	And I also have a trash bin thought.
	My husband once told me, and I do this, Jen, make a genuine and I said, listen, I'm not your bitch.
	I'm not your restaurant.
	I'm not going to just make a menu for you so you can go through and pick through what you want.
	But let me tell you, it's excellent.
	I decided to do it.
	Now when the guys say, I don't know what I want to eat, they just go to the genuine they open it up and they find a picture and they're like, and then that's what they get.
	And we list our meals at least 10 meals.
	So every day they know what they're going to get so they can look forward to coming home to it.
	This is the life.
	That's awesome.
	So you're making one meal.
	It's not like one boy gets lasagna, the other kid gets nachos, and the other kid gets spaghetti.
	They all sort of go, let's do spaghetti tonight.
	And then it's spaghetti night.
	Yes.
	And I've made my son's food.
	I never bought store food for him when he was a baby.
	I made it from scratch.
	And so he's not a ticky eater at all.
	He eats everything.
	And if you just start him off eating everything, they'll eventually just keep eating everything.
	I mean, anything I put in front of him, he'll eat.
	And I just tell him all the time, listen, women aren't like me.
	And it's your catch.
	You're going to have money because we have a business.
	We started a business so that in the future he has something.
	If he wants it, he can go to college.
	He can have his own life.
	But we started a business so that in the future he had something to fall back on.
	And I think that's what I'm saying.
	You being a cam girl?
	You know, far from it.
	We have a pool cleaning and repair business.
	Right.
	Don't say too much or Antifa will attack you.
	You know, one thing I wanted to say is that I think with all this homeschooling and being at home, I feel like teachers are scared that we're realizing how little we need them.
	I mean, my daughter's homework, her math homework is a computer program where it gives you the question, and if you put in the wrong answer, it says, nope, try again.
	And then eventually it says, yep.
	So it's a robot teaching her math.
	I did it together with her.
	And we can grind this out in like two hours.
	And I was thinking the other day, why don't we just have, we all homeschool, just like we're doing now.
	You grind it out two to three hours with computer programs.
	We don't even need teachers.
	And then kids go play all day.
	Right now they're sitting in that stupid desk from 9 to 3.20.
	And let me tell you, it is a prison.
	Since the school shootings, the schools really care about who's coming in the school, but they don't care about the people inside the school.
	Let me tell you, I'm a little under five foot.
	I volunteer all the time at my son's school.
	And after I volunteered for a week in the culinary program, now these kids see me all the time because I'm always bringing food to the school.
	I'm always at all the dances, all the activities.
	The first couple months of school, I'd given them 50 hours of my own time.
	So these kids have seen me.
	And I volunteered for a week and they started bullying me.
	They started like the black girls were checking me with their shoulders and trying to fight me.
	And I was like, listen, I told the school about it.
	They did nothing.
	Wait, why were they trying to check you?
	Because I would say, hey, like I'd call them out for lying.
	They'd skip the class.
	And I'd tell the teacher, like, hey, what's this kid skipping class for?
	She's like, it's not my problem.
	If they skip, they skip.
	And I'll just give them a zero.
	And I'm thinking, but it is your problem because if my son is walking in the hallway and this bad kid's walking in the hallway that wants to pick a fight with my kid, then you don't care?
	She's like, it's not my problem.
	I was like, what city is this city, if you don't mind?
	What general area?
	We're in the northwest panhandle of Florida.
	So St. Tiger King, where he got taken from, I'm close to that area.
	And so the schools only care about people coming in, but not within the kids inside.
	There's a seventh grader that's pregnant.
	And also there's 17-year-old boys in the same class with 10-year-old girls.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	And there's nothing.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Is she black?
	Yes.
	Seventh grade, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
	What is she, 12 years old?
	Yes.
	The pregnant girl?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Can you believe it?
	Holy shit.
	But then it pisses me off that you have like a 17-year-old boy in the same class with a 10-year-old girl, and there's nothing that the school is going to do about it.
	They don't care.
	But that's like rape.
	The age of consent has got to be at least 13, 14.
	Well, I'm talking about education-wise, they're in the same class.
	Yes, the 12-year-old that's pregnant, that's wild.
	And so I'm taking my son out of the school system.
	We're homeschooling.
	I don't even want the school to get my son's grades because he does really well.
	He's in seventh grade, but he's doing ninth grade math.
	And next year, he'll be doing 11th grade math.
	And I said, you know what?
	The school doesn't deserve you in all that you can deserve.
	And by the way, he doesn't bet you anything that he's not pregnant.
	No.
	And he loves his mom.
	He loves hanging out with me.
	He's so respectful.
	He would never say anything disrespectful.
	And I do think it's because he's an only child and he's around a lot of adults.
	But I think it's also because he's smart.
	He's like, listen, I don't want to be like those kids.
	He's tired of being around the kids.
	He's ready to be homeschooled.
	He doesn't care about.
	That's enlightening.
	I'm impressed that you went to the school to volunteer.
	Look, we're out of time on this call, but that was fascinating.
	Thanks for calling.
	Kate.
	She doesn't get to say goodbye.
	By the way, one little thing to add to that story.
	I was in the car yesterday when we're doing that New York stuff, and I said to my daughter, so what did you end up writing for that housewife thing?
	And she goes, what?
	And I go, I said you can do the right answer, which is that that woman was happy, or you can do the answer that will get you the correct response, which is she's a slave and she hates her life.
	And I told her, you can write whatever you want.
	It's up to you which path you choose.
	And she goes, I don't remember.
	And I said, we were working on this two days ago.
	How can you not remember?
	And then my wife says, maybe she doesn't want to tell you.
	And I realize, wow.
	So not only are you brainwashing my daughter with your feminist bullshit, but you've made her scared to talk to her father about it.
	That's how fucking evil these re-education camps are.
	Brian, why do you ignore your stupid, hideous, roofy old Pan-Man face?
	Because it shares the screen with the important stuff.
	We got Joe Biggs on the line.
	Oh, yeah.
	What's up, dog?
	What up?
	What it be like?
	How is it working out for you there, this chinkin' pox?
	Oh, fuck, I said.
	You did it.
	What'd you say?
	How is this working out the quarantine?
	How are you handling it?
	Did you say chinkin' pox?
	I did, and I'm really sorry about that.
	I feel terrible.
	No, that's amazing.
	That's so much better than Shanghai Shivers that I came up with.
	Shanghai.
	What's on your mind?
	I'm kind of jealous of that.
	I'm kind of jealous of that one.
	I kind of wish I came up with that one.
	That one's really fucking good.
	Well, I actually stole it.
	It's from Carmen DeFabio.
	He gets credit from the Creepy Corner.
	Carmen DeFabio Creepy Corner made it up.
	I like that one.
	That one's really good.
	That's definitely like top three.
	What can we do you for, sir?
	What's going on, guys?
	I mean, shit, we're out here.
	I'm stuck down here in Florida, man.
	The fucking governor finally shut it down.
	And it's like 90 degrees outside.
	I mean, it's a virus.
	Viruses don't thrive in heat.
	Bacteria does.
	It's not even a living thing.
	It just has the ability to stay going on certain surfaces.
	And I can tell you down here, the surfaces are pretty fucking toasty.
	So, you know.
	Well, we're having a great time.
	I mean, Ryan's a hermit, and I don't even think he likes fucking chicks because I see pussy get thrown at him, and he's just like, oh, I got to go do my taxes.
	Well, that's because the Asian lady at the restaurant throwing a cat at his face.
	Make more soup.
	Make more soup.
	I got chickens to not touch.
	If you throw actual pussy at him and go straight onto his walk.
	And then I don't have to commute to the city anymore.
	We built the studio in his living room.
	So I'm pretty happy.
	I get to see my kids more.
	You know, I'm glad that we have a lot of room at home.
	This is turning out great.
	I kind of don't want it to end.
	Yeah, it's really not that bad of a thing.
	I mean, it's interesting because, you know, the people who stayed home all the time now want to go out.
	But I understand why they want to go out now because all the idiots and retards are stuck at home.
	So the people who normally stay at home to avoid the retards want to go out and experience the world finally without idiots running around everywhere, you know, bumping into their dicks, you know, taking selfies and falling in the fucking fountains.
	You know, it gives people an opportunity to finally just go see the earth uninhibited by, you know, retardiveness.
	But now we can't do it.
	So it's just kind of one of those weird things, you know.
	I turn my backyard at my house.
	I have a nice piece of property in Florida.
	I turn my backyard into a campground.
	So I built a fire pit and put up a 10-man tent.
	And then I got some of the guys coming up next week.
	And we're all just going to cancel my backyard since we can't do shit.
	What about your daughter?
	Are you getting to see her?
	Only on FaceTime because I can't travel to North Carolina now.
	They close down the border.
	We can't travel inside or outside of the state.
	That sucks.
	Yeah, so right now I'm dependent upon FaceTime.
	Well, I got buddies who own bars who are saying, come by, we're having a sneaky meeting.
	And part of me goes, yeah, I'm there.
	And then another part of me goes, wait, is that a sin?
	Am I fucking making this virus worse?
	I don't know anymore.
	I mean, that's happening everywhere.
	People are having big parties.
	It's kind of like the Prohibition.
	Everyone's secretly, you know, throwing these underground parties and having bands.
	My buddy sent me a video of a place a few miles away from me near the beach where everyone was out playing music and stuff and out on the beach dancing around.
	So it's happening.
	Yeah, go ahead.
	I'm at the point now where just fucking give it to me.
	I can take it.
	I've had AIDS.
	Hey, Joe, you've been doing a lot of good content out there.
	You've been putting stuff like almost every day.
	Yeah, thanks for all this content.
	It really helps.
	Yeah, I put out a video earlier today, and I'm uploading one right now.
	Ooh, what is it about?
	Sneak peek?
	This one, the one I did earlier, I did a cool episode with Vince and the Red Elephants just talking about the whole hysteria and then how it's really nice to be able to like, you know, for a lot of these guys, like, you know, that work a lot to be able to actually spend time at home with their family and really talked about the positive side of that.
	And then I'm adding these little short sketch comedy videos into my videos as like little extra add-on things.
	So I did that video and then I'm doing a cooking video right now that's going up.
	It's a Mexican dish I made called Wetbacks.
	Nice.
	Usually Wetback up here in the Northeast is just jizzing on your wife's back after you pull out.
	Jesus.
	That was inappropriate.
	I thought that was just called a good old American sex right there.
	I think it's called Superman.
	You know that Soldier Boy song?
	I think Superman is talking about that because it's like a cape.
	You're giving her a cape.
	You might be looking into a little too much, but hey, I'll go with it.
	All right, we got to get to our next caller.
	Is that all you got?
	Yeah, I just wanted to see her and shoot the shit with you guys for a second.
	All right, let's do a Skype call maybe Monday.
	Yeah, let's do it.
	All right, man.
	Cheers.
	Joe Biggs.
	Can you get me a beer, please, Asian boy?
	If I can pee.
	You want to read a letter way to do that?
	No, get to the next caller, fuck for brains.
	You got up and said, I said, get to the next caller, which could solve all the problems.
	And you go, I got a pee, but then you run to the fridge to get the beer.
	You know what?
	You act like a pill head.
	If I found a big thing of Xanax or something in your bathroom, I would go, oh, shit.
	Oh, I get it now.
	That's what was going on.
	So get the next car then.
	go take a fucking piss.
	All right.
	Husband thinks Gavin's right about everything.
	Oh my god.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	Go piss, Ryan.
	Oh.
	What can I do for you?
	I was learning how your wife deals with every thought that you have, even if she might not think that you're right.
	How my wife feels about my thoughts, my beliefs?
	Even if they're not right.
	Or if she doesn't think they're right.
	Oh, she thinks most of them are wrong.
	For example, the housewife thing.
	My parents, too, are really mad about that.
	Oh, my God.
	I keep saying stay-at-home dads.
	I mean, sorry, stay-at-home moms have a great life, and most women don't belong in the workforce.
	That pisses off my dad, pisses off my mom, and pisses off my wife.
	And she keeps saying, I'm going to be going back to work soon.
	And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
	So like the whole Corona thing has like been a whole like eye-opening thing for us.
	I've always worked.
	He's always worked.
	We've had to work.
	We have five kids, so there's no choice.
	But now I'm not working.
	And I almost feel like he's like, oh, see, we can do it.
	And I'm like, but we can't.
	And I feel like he looks for you for advice for everything.
	Well, is it really impossible to have five kids and one redwinner?
	I mean, it's just groceries at the end of the day.
	Okay.
	So for instance, since like the whole corona thing has happened, which has been what, I want to say two and a half weeks since this affected me, my work, I'm a dental assistant.
	So as soon as we got shut down is when I stopped working.
	I think we sent like $350 of groceries in the beginning to stock up, which with five kids, there is no stocking up.
	It's just, it's fucking, it's not realistic.
	It's every day they want something else.
	But I feel like he's trying to push me to think otherwise.
	Yeah.
	Just do it.
	I mean, every time someone talks about bills, there's vacations and all this superfluous shit.
	I grew up middle class, right, in Canada.
	My mom didn't work until I was older.
	And we had one car.
	We very rarely got babysitters.
	We had a shitty- Black and white.
	We have one car, and we have a very rare babysitter.
	And do your youngest go to daycare?
	Nope.
	So what happens with them when you're dental working?
	So my husband is a janitor for the middle school, which our eighth grader goes to.
	So he's a janitor, and he takes care of the baby until 2 o'clock.
	And then my mother-in-law takes care of him for like an hour and a half until I get home from work.
	And I've worked for where I've worked for so long that I've been able to change my hours.
	So every day I am out by 3.30, 4 o'clock.
	But janitors make pretty good pay.
	Well, to an extent.
	Where are you?
	What city are you in?
	Or near?
	We live in North Andover in Massachusetts.
	Okay.
	That's north of Boston?
	Yeah.
	So he makes about like almost 20 an hour, not even.
	I don't know.
	I mean, I feel like people can, but it sounds like you don't have a shitty situation.
	Like it's what, how old are your kids, roughly?
	So we have my oldest is going to be our freshman.
	And then we have Olivia, the only girl we have, she'll be 10, April 22nd.
	And then we have Julian, who is 8.
	And then we have Joshua, who is 7.
	And then we have the baby, who is 12 months, 13 months.
	Okay, so the only problem, because the other kids are at school all day anyway, it doesn't really matter.
	And so the only problem is...
	The baby's not getting mommy love for a few hours in the day.
	I don't know.
	It seems like you kind of figured out a system there that works where the baby's getting plenty of love and the kids aren't being deprived of a mom.
	True.
	It's more the less of like, do you want to go away for the summer for even like even at a beach house or even something like we can't afford a lot.
	We are super on the poor line in my mind, but he would rather me be home.
	Well, I think you can give it a try, but it doesn't sound like when I talk about women in the workforce, I'm talking about a woman like in New York City, they'll not, they won't see their kids.
	They won't even be able to put their kids to bed at 8 p.m.
	Sometimes.
	And often these hardworking Manhattan moms will see their kids for, at best, an hour a day, Monday to Thursday.
	And you go, all right, well, that's just like as often as divorced couples see their kids.
	But if you're home at four, it sounds like you got it under control.
	A fucking woman boss.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	You want to hit the mailbag?
	And I'm jealous of you for having five kids.
	There's just a couple that came in pretty recently.
	And by the way, it's mailbag at censored.tv.
	Ryan, I have maybe 600 letters here.
	Oh.
	Okay.
	We don't have room for mailbag on Thursdays.
	I could do an hour and a half show of mailbag.
	Holy poop.
	Somebody thinks I'm hanging out.
	Why are we out of calls?
	I'm not.
	No.
	Well, let's go through the fucking calls then.
	All right.
	Pillhead?
	From now on, you're just a pill head to me.
	I work with a pill head.
	The fact that you don't actually do pills is irrelevant.
	Who's there?
	Eric.
	Hello.
	Hey, Gap.
	What's up, dog?
	Yeah, I've been watching, I can't stop watching Windy City Heat stuff, big three podcast and all.
	And I don't know if you talked about it before, but how did you get, how did you become William Randolph Hearst?
	That was introduced, Wendy City Heat was introduced to me, the Perry Project, In 2002, David Cross got a VHS tape from Jimmy Kimmel, who was the producer.
	I became fucking obsessed.
	Obsessed.
	I don't think it's the greatest movie in the world.
	I think it's the greatest thing in the world.
	I can't believe it's for free on YouTube.
	I remember once I said to Kimmel, hey man, I keep giving these out as gifts.
	Can you send me just like a box of them?
	I know you lost a fortune on it.
	You must have boxes and boxes of them.
	He goes, I don't have shit.
	How do you think I give them as gifts?
	I go on Amazon and buy them and just change the scent address.
	And so I got to know, I knew Kimmel.
	I don't know how I knew Kimmel.
	I guess I knew him through Vice.
	So when I would go to LA, I would meet Don Barris, sorry, Tony Barbieri, because he's the head writer on Kimmel.
	And like I get there and I met that stupid studio that Kimmel has.
	And I'm like, hey, Jimmy, what's up?
	And then he's like, this is Tony Barbieri.
	And I was like, holy fuck, I'm meeting Mole and I'm meeting the British guy.
	And then he introduced me to Don and I put them on the cover of Vice.
	That was it.
	For the shitty issue.
	I forget the prank issue, the lie issue.
	I forget what the theme of that particular vice was.
	I think it was about lies.
	And then Don Barris is the Wizard of Oz.
	So when you show up, he gives you an identity.
	He names you.
	David Cross is David Brinkley, because Perry's never heard of David Brinkley.
	And so he tells you your script.
	He tells you your role.
	He says what your background is, where you come from.
	And then he unleashes you into the Perry Project.
	Now, there's been infiltrators who aren't invited to the Perry Project.
	Like I think, who's that redhead who was on Happy Days, Richie Cunningham?
	I think his son infiltrated the Perry Project without Don's permission.
	And that's fucked up because Don runs that world.
	That's his kingdom.
	Think of it as like a giant train set with little people on it.
	He's the guy putting the people there and having the little crossing.
	You can just walk onto someone's train set.
	So I got into it through them.
	And Don Barris is the one who told me that I'm William Randolph Hearst and what my background is.
	That's awesome.
	You talked to Kimmel.
	Pardon me?
	When's the last time you talked to Kimmel?
	Have you stayed in touch with him?
	I pulled over in my car maybe two years ago because I heard Wendy the Slow Adult on Howard Stern call Jimball Kimball.
	She can't say Jimmy Kimball.
	She called him unprofessional.
	And that's Perry's big thing, right?
	If you want to set him off, you just call him unprofessional.
	And so I pulled over in my car and I hadn't emailed him in a long time.
	And I said, Wendy the Slow Adult, Wendy the Retard, just called you unprofessional.
	The circle has closed.
	We have sealed the universe now.
	And he laughed or something.
	But that's the last time.
	You know, with this Trump shit, you can't talk to those people.
	They're done.
	Trump derangement syndrome has polluted that entire community.
	Patton Oswalt, Patton Oswalt read my entire book when I asked him for advice on whether it was good or not.
	He read the whole thing cover to cover, gave me all these tips, and he thinks I'm fucking David Duke now.
	And I haven't changed.
	They all changed.
	Yeah, Mole does pretty funny.
	He plays that Jake Bird character where he goes, he started like Michael Jackson trial.
	Yeah.
	And he goes to Trump rallies, and it's pretty funny.
	I mean, he's making fun of Trump people, but it's good shit.
	Yeah, he's awesome.
	He's a great guy, but he has TDS a little too.
	He said to me, he goes, it's good to have at least one girl when you have kids because boys will show you things and they'll draw a piece of shit and they'll go, hey, dad, that's you.
	And then your girl will draw like a unicorn with rainbows and glitter everywhere and go, here, dad, that's how much I love you.
	He goes, you need that once in a while because just boys are jerks.
	Anyway, thanks for calling, dude.
	Tony Barbieri.
	Haven't thought of him in a long time.
	Very, very ugly guy.
	Awesome, dude, but just really unappealing to look at.
	Um, Johnny, Christmas wrap.
	This is one of my least favorite subjects, Johnny.
	I'm glad we're running out of time.
	We have 10 minutes on the card, yeah.
	A lot of people went away for like an hour.
	This guy's been on for an hour.
	Okay.
	Hey, Johnny, I know it's been a while, but you're on, bud.
	Me?
	Yes.
	I didn't say anything about a Christmas song.
	I just had a quick question for you.
	Would you rather eat Gary's hot dogs or fuck, what's it, Lupe from my 600-pound fat?
	You ugly.
	Wow, that's a good one, dude.
	That is a good one.
	Because I'm thinking with the sausages, you could really cook the living shit out of them.
	Yeah.
	Like till they're almost carbon.
	And then just like eating burnt toast, right?
	You can't.
	Can you get sick from a sausage that you've basically turned into carbon?
	I don't know.
	Or can it still be gangrenous?
	I don't know.
	You can eat it however you want.
	Yeah, I understand.
	I'm just thinking, can I still get sick if I overcook it?
	But then as far as lupe goes, you could probably just find a fold, right?
	And it's still a woman.
	And that would be an experience.
	Like when people talk about 600-pound life, you go, you know, I fucked one of those.
	And they go, what?
	How?
	How?
	And you go, I just found a fold.
	I did it.
	Was that or eat a rotten sausage from a bum?
	Yeah, I'm going to go with lupe.
	What?
	Damn.
	I didn't see that coming.
	Why?
	I'll call it first and stuff.
	It's still a woman.
	But you can really cook the shit of that meat.
	I don't know.
	Can I make one more point?
	Like, I told my wife once, I said, if Oprah wants to fuck me, I'm fucking her.
	I don't care what you think about that because the story would be amazing.
	And the story of having fucked a 650-pound person, I mean, That's like next time you're bored at a bar, you just go, Hey, everyone, I fucked a 650-pound woman in one of her cracks.
	How would you actually get it done?
	Like, would you be pushing rope, or would you be able to get hard?
	Pushing rope.
	Um, I think I could just jerk off next to her, not looking at her, and then just like turn around and just start thrusting.
	If I wasn't wasted, I bet I could find a way, or I could go to Blue Chew if you weren't one of our sponsors.
	Yes, that's what I was getting at.
	Were you?
	Well, because that's pretty.
	Hey, I have one more, one more thing.
	Unrelated.
	Unrelated.
	Okay.
	Can I also say that you, bar nun, make up exactly how I feel about fucking pets, regardless whether it's a dog or a cat?
	100%, I share the exact same feelings as you.
	I was just looking at no feelings.
	I was looking at my dog today.
	I had to take him for a walk, right?
	And the way I take him for a walk, he's always stopping and yanking me because he wants to sniff some fucking shit.
	And I'm thinking, who's walking who here?
	Am I your butler?
	Like, I take you around and I stop while you sniff.
	To walk around the block takes like 25 fucking minutes.
	And I'm picking up his shit.
	And then as we're walking back to the house, I'm looking at him and I'm just thinking, you shit and piss in my home regularly.
	He hasn't done it in a while, but imagine like someone comes to your house and you turn around, you're walking towards the dining room and you look in the living room and they're just there like, oh, sorry, dude.
	Just fucking having a huge brown log in your living room.
	You'd kill that person.
	The last thing you'd do is invite them back, but when dogs shit and piss in your house, you fucking clean it up and say, don't do that again, doggie.
	But here's an interesting point to add to that.
	A lot of liberals don't want kids because I don't want to clean up after a kid.
	I don't want to have to take care of a kid.
	But then at the same time, they'll fucking take a dog out, put it in a stroller, pick its shit up after it.
	And you look at these bras walking with these fucking shit bags in their hands.
	And I'm like, way to go.
	Yeah.
	By the way, with diapers, sometimes it's diarrhea and you got to do some scooping with some wet wipes.
	But usually with kids, it's just a bunch of little rabbit turds.
	You roll it up into the diaper, throw it.
	It takes nothing.
	With a dog, you got to get the bag.
	Then you have to touch the shit and scrape it out of the grass.
	Then turn it and you can inevitably smell it.
	Then you got to go put it in your garbage.
	It's way grosser cleaning up dog shit than cleaning up your beautiful little angel's poop.
	100%.
	Thanks for your child.
	Thanks for calling, buddy.
	I can't wait till my fucking dog dies.
	I'm going to stifle a smile because I don't want my kids to cry.
	But, oh my God, sometimes we'll put him, he'll be in the doggy whatever hotel while we go on vacation or whatever.
	And we'll have maybe a couple days before or after where we didn't get to pick him up in time.
	And I'm just like, walking around my house, no barking at the fucking postman.
	I have to admit, though, because of Antifa and all these lunatics who want to kill me, it is nice having this alarm that goes anytime someone goes remotely near our house 24 hours a day.
	So I do appreciate the alarm, but fuck.
	I wish I got a German Shepherd or something that's cool looking that you can wrestle with.
	I have a fucking Havanese.
	Positively ain't that straight.
	I remember before I got it, too, one of the Knights of Columbus guys, an electrician from Brooklyn, who was Waxy Gordon's grandson, by the way.
	Vaxie Gordon?
	He said, okay, so you get this dog, and I'm not telling you not to get it, but you're walking your dog at night, and then you bump into a fellow knight, and he looks down.
	Now, how do you feel?
	And I was, I'm in that crazy scenario he brought up.
	I bump into people with that fucking dog.
	I just mean to go, it's my daughter's dog.
	It's my daughter's dog.
	This is my daughter's dog.
	I'm walking it as a favor.
	He's a fag.
	The dog.
	The dog's a fag.
	Just doing the thing.
	What was the point of that one?
	I don't know.
	All right.
	Got Brian on the line talking about doomsday purpose.
	Go ahead, dear Broy.
	Hey, Gavin.
	I've just been watching you for like the past three, four days just absolutely roast people on 90 Day Fiancé and on the 600-pound life show.
	And I think this doomsday preppers show I've been watching on Netflix, I think it would be hilarious to watch you just roast these hillbillies with their mail-order brides and their crazy prepping.
	I just think it'd be hilarious to watch you do that.
	So just wanted to throw it out there as like a suggestion.
	Okay, we'll give it a whirl.
	And by the way, thanks for calling.
	We've been going over the subscribers' responses to Ryan and I watching shows, movies and stuff.
	And yes, we're going to make that a new show.
	And I don't know when exactly they'll air, but there's so many shows and movies I want to watch with commentary.
	Actual good movies too, like With Nail and I, my favorite film.
	My favorite films are Husbands and Wives by Woody Allen, With Nail and I, and Animal House.
	And it would be fun to go through those and actually enjoy a movie for a change.
	But yeah, I'm happy to put this on the list.
	I kind of don't get what they're prepping for.
	And this, by the way, includes my friends.
	Like, is it a Mad Max thing?
	Did I tell you the other day?
	I don't know if I mentioned this on the show.
	I was making fun of Anthony Kumia for having 500 rounds.
	And the guy I told, the proud boy who did all those weekends at Rikers, he goes, 500 rounds?
	I have 100,000.
	And he goes, my dad, his dad's a retired detective.
	My dad's probably got 300,000.
	Holy smokes.
	So what is this scenario?
	Like, how many people have you?
	You get to kill forever.
	Say you have 300,000 bullets, right?
	And you're running low on bullets.
	You're down to 20,000.
	So you have shot 280,000 times.
	even if you're a bad shot, does that mean you've killed, what, like 900 people?
	900 dead poachers and people who are trying to...
	We're getting up to like Auschwitz levels.
	There's just mountains of bodies, what, around your house?
	Do you also have a forklift to go and fucking dump them a little farther away for the stench?
	Like, even Mad Max in all three Mad Max movies, he probably killed a total of like 50 guys.
	He didn't even kill that retard in the Thunderdome.
	Oh, that's what you and I should be for Halloween.
	I'll be Master.
	I know you're smarter than me, but you are retarded.
	Yeah, so but how do I what do I do?
	Get on your shoulders?
	No, I get on your shoulders.
	I'm master on the midget.
	That'll hurt.
	My back is terrible.
	I was going to say, I don't know about my favorite movie.
	Why can't we see you while you talk?
	My favorite movie.
	Wait, what?
	My favorite movie.
	Ryan's favorite movie.
	It's probably Dora the Explorer.
	No, my favorite movie of somebody else's is Anthony saying his favorite movie is the beginning half of American History X. Right.
	Just the beginning.
	Yeah.
	Way to totally kill the rhythm of the show by repeating someone else's joke and taking way too long.
	Why do you have to crop it like that?
	Just show yourself.
	I'm trying.
	Hello.
	Why don't you just do this the entire time?
	Just be, I can't, because if I switch the screen, you want to see what happens?
	Terrible.
	You'll show people's phone numbers.
	Oh, yeah.
	So just cut that for a second, take the next call, and then come back to that.
	It shouldn't be that complicated.
	And then no sound drops.
	All right, we've got it.
	No one wants your fucking sound drops during a call.
	Alan.
	For Christ's sakes, Alan!
	Oh, for fuck's sake, Alan!
	Right on, right on.
	I couldn't really hear much, but I absolutely agree with the Gavin.
	You guys have nice and expressive faces.
	It would be great if both of you were displayed.
	Because I get a lot, especially Ryan, Ryan has such a pretty expressive face, you know?
	So anyway, coming from, I mean, from, I'm somebody who came from Romania, and I saw the dirtiest, I mean, the darkest time in Romania and socialism.
	Oh, Romania sucks.
	Yes, yes.
	Romanians and Romania.
	Romania and Romanians, you know, not too far behind.
	Didn't you guys invent gypsies?
	The worst people on earth?
	No, we didn't invent them.
	But by the way, their music is worth twice more than the most terrible reputation if they had it.
	Their music more than compensates.
	I don't believe you, but we'll give it a try.
	Romania Gypsy music?
	Let me guess it's all like that.
	Oh, no, it's not circus music.
	Oh, no, no.
	It's jazz music as if it was interpreted by Egyptians or something, you know?
	It's beautiful.
	It's very deep.
	We have music that's really low that we say you can cut your veins to.
	Or music to just bring you on ecstasy to ecstatic levels.
	If you're at a funeral, for example.
	To ecstatic levels.
	If you're at a funeral or something.
	You have a very expressive face.
	You talk like a guy who just did a line.
	No, I've never done that.
	She'd send Voynique.
	Basically, so I wanted...
	Shit's in Voinik.
	Iubirea ma primeşter verecire.
	I can't quite understand that, but I appreciate your effort, Ryan.
	Hey, you know, so there's a question to make this very, very short.
	I noticed have, the word have in English.
	Romanians tend to pronounce it hyav.
	I have.
	French, have.
	They don't even say Filipinos, like I have to go to a superstore to buy food for to eat.
	But I'd like to get that the southern thing to have.
	How do southerners, like hiav?
	How would you write it?
	I have.
	I have.
	They get the H in there.
	I have.
	I'm Larry the Cable Guy.
	I have it.
	Have it.
	I noticed the woman caller.
	She went a bit earlier.
	She had like the high of.
	I high.
	So beautiful.
	They take that this time.
	Anyway, you're right.
	There's two.
	There's like have, like, I have it.
	And then there's a hey of it with a Y in it.
	Right.
	Right.
	Hey, by the way, Romanians don't have the word challenge.
	In Romanian, that's my favorite word in the whole world.
	And the word challenge.
	We don't have that word.
	So what would I be?
	Mentally what?
	In your language?
	Retarded.
	Oh, a mentally provocative.
	A mental provocation.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	We're running out of space on the hard drive here.
	I'm afraid we got to go.
	Yeah.
	We are out of time.
	I'd love to talk to everyone, and we can talk tomorrow Friday at 2 p.m.
	ET, meaning Eastern time, New York City time, although we're not in New York City.
	I don't think we're going to get back on Monday.
	I think our building is still closed.
	We're still coming in, too.
	Let's holler at.
	Thanks, Joshua.
	Thanks, Eric.
	Thanks, Christine.
	Thanks, Jordan.
	Thanks, Tona.
	Let's do the chick.
	Not because of the Tona Perv, but because I want to support women watching this show.
	Hi, Christine Marie.
	What's up, Christine?
	Hi, what's going on?
	It's hi.
	Have you hay of you?
	How do you hay of?
	That makes me think of the hot chicken eastbound and down.
	That's exactly what it made me think of.
	Hayev.
	Well, I'm from Texas, so I would know what I'm talking about, yeah.
	Hillsy.
	Hey, you got it right with that accent, that chick from the hunt.
	She did not have a southern accent.
	It was wrong, and I always get so pissed off at people that try to, you know, fake the accent.
	Now, I really have a slow, like, I don't know, a soft little lilt to me, but only want to get drunk.
	Word up, girl.
	Word up.
	Shoot it.
	So, yeah.
	So I wanted to tell you something, and I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think that Constant Wu in the movie, Hustlers, had a total crush on J-Lo.
	And you didn't notice it.
	Ryan did.
	But I noticed it.
	She was hot for her the whole time.
	I mean, the volume was off.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Do you mean Constance Wu, the actual actress, was attracted to the actual actress.
	Y'all were trying to say that, you know, that she might or she might not, and Ryan said something about it, but I think she really did in the movie.
	So we're not, are we talking about the characters or the actress?
	My bad.
	Yes.
	I don't remember their names because it was on off, and I was listening to you.
	Can you answer this fucking question?
	So you mean the characters?
	Yes, the actress.
	No, the characters.
	My bad.
	Oh, I see.
	Really?
	You think she was a Les?
	Yes.
	I think she was probably bi.
	There's too much like emotional dependence on each other for them to be sure.
	Exactly.
	So, yes, it was an abusive relationship.
	Well, this is something we could look up because these were real characters.
	I mean, real people.
	Oh, definitely.
	She was definitely had some, you know, idolatry plus crush plus whatever, sexuality.
	I mean, it's a really sexual business.
	Hello?
	Yeah.
	Oh, my God.
	I can't believe I just said that.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	I'm also a teacher, so I'm teaching during this time.
	This is crazy as shit, man.
	My wife has really stepped up to the plate, and she does, she's got a little classroom, and they have a little schedule.
	I come in and help with the math.
	That's basically it.
	And there's chore hours and there's physical education hours.
	And I don't know, this seems way better than school.
	No offense.
	She is a badass because I have three kids and they're older.
	I mean, 18, 15, and 11.
	But my youngest one, 11-year-old, she's all for school.
	She loves it.
	She doesn't want to be in normal school.
	She gets her shit done.
	Wham, bam.
	I have my job.
	I teach Spanish.
	I emailed you a long time ago about wearing my clown world shirt, you know, for superhero day.
	Anyway, whatever.
	So, but yeah, it's easier for us teachers.
	The whole focus of my district is relax, no stress.
	The kids are going through a lot, but you also have to have this rigor.
	But listen, they're grading on like a zero to four scale.
	It's not even normal grades anymore.
	When did this start?
	Oh, my God.
	I don't want to get in trouble.
	But yeah, at least where I'm from, yeah, it's because it's online, so you can't really quantify their skills anymore.
	It's crazy as fuck.
	And this is the first time.
	I think my kids' school is just passing everyone.
	And they're just ignoring this entire time.
	And it's almost like a fresh slate next year.
	Yeah, totally.
	100% is a fresh slate.
	100%.
	I tell my kids, my children, I'm like, this is the longest, most badass summer you'll ever have.
	I mean, this is Gen Zero's 9-11.
	I hate to say it.
	I'm so sorry.
	Please forgive me.
	But it's the only milestone that they're going to really put in their heads.
	No?
	No, I think there's many arguments that it's bigger than 9-11.
	I mean, the death toll at 9-11 was 3,000.
	I was right there in the eye of the storm, and it was only fucked up for about two weeks.
	And really, that was like five days you had to show like a con ed bill to get back to your apartment because the areas were walled off, and there was tanks on House and Street and stuff.
	But then it was back to normal fairly quickly.
	This is, I mean, I don't want to say compared to World War II because we had millions of deaths.
	But as far as like people looking back and grandchildren asking you about stuff, they're going to ask you about 9-11.
	They're going to ask you about this.
	They're not going to ask you about the blackout.
	They're not going to ask you about Obama.
	They're going to ask you about 9-11 and this.
	Yep, totally.
	It's insane, right?
	It's crazy.
	Are you going to have any more kids?
	No, no, no, that's a whole nother discussion.
	But anyway, zero through four is how we're grading it.
	So can I tell you really quickly?
	I know that you've got to go, and I'm sure you're tired.
	That means that if I get nothing online, then you've got to give them a zero.
	This is public school, remember.
	And one means below average, like, ugh, they're maybe trying, but.
	And then a two is like getting there, like kindergarten.
	I swear to God, it's kindergarten scores.
	And then three is there.
	And then four is above average.
	It literally is based on kindergarten.
	If your kids went through public school and kindergarten, that's exactly where we're at right now.
	And what grade are you teaching?
	Ninth grade Spanish.
	Wow.
	Que jolienda, coño.
	Yeah, Ryan, your accent sucks ass.
	Do you have an accent in Spanish?
	I do not have an accent.
	Actually, I am the white Latina amongst my coworkers, so I'm very proud.
	Thank you very much.
	I'm just kidding.
	That's okay.
	How do you say in Spanish?
	How do you say, I was considering making a sandwich, but regretfully, I will not be.
	Estada considered the sandwich, but I guess that's right.
	Yeah.
	Sounds like a very bulky language.
	I got my sentence out in no time.
	But French is too, though.
	Yes.
	All Latin languages.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, lady.
	It was cool talking to so many broads today.
	Broads.
	Broads.
	Fucking broads.
	What am I?
	Five.
	What am I?
	Five?
	I don't watch fucking Star Wars.
	What am I going to have to catch up on my Fridays?
	What am I?
	Five?
	Who is that one?
	Good afternoon, guys.
	Jim Florentine.
	Jim Florentine.
	All right, folks, that's it.
	We'll be back on Monday.
	Is Milo doing his show?
	I don't know what the state of the Studes is.
	The Studes.
	The Studes, barely.
	He might be.
	We don't know.
	We'll find out.
	You can add that to your questions tomorrow, Friday at 2.
	And then we'll be back on Monday.
	We're going to shoot a bunch of shit.
	And the content is going to keep going up in quality.
	The only problem with this new show is that I have to stand the whole time.
	And my heels hurt.
	And it's less relaxing for me.
	But as far as what you get, I don't think we have much of a change here, right?
	No, it looks the same, smells the same.
	All right, I'll see you tomorrow, Friday at 2 on the Discord or on Monday.

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