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March 16, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:13:31
S02E137 - GET INFECTED [2020-03-16 - S02E137 - GET INFECTED]
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Time Text
So that is the ballad of Roger Stone by Mongo and the Wand Wanderers War Horse.
War Horse, what's going on with your mask there?
Um some issues you didn't have enough time to put it on before we started?
I did my gloves.
You don't have your gloves on?
No, because the touch screen buttons.
You said that's just your left hand, though.
Yeah, but then also scrolling left and right like this.
Let's see if I can do it.
I can't.
Okay, we're good.
Jeez.
The magic mouse is touch-sensitive.
Yeah, school's out.
De Blasio finally cancels classes amid virus crisis.
Now, if you're not a New Yorker, you might not know that de Blasio was hesitant to close the schools.
There he is, being a big tall piece of shit.
He's made a lot of mistakes.
And then there's fucking Andrew Cuomo.
I was watching 60 Minutes last night because it was about Westchester.
And I overheard my racist wife mumble, because they were going back and forth from Andrew Cuomo to, I forget, oh, Scott Pelly.
And she goes, God, white men are ugly.
I heard her whisper, white men are ugly to herself.
But I was kind of thinking the same thing, not about white men, but about Cuomo.
Dude, you got these sagging jowls.
Your face is melting.
You need a mustache badly.
Look at him.
He really looks like a Halloween mask.
God, he's loved.
This is Andrew Cuomo.
He loves this shit.
Look at his face.
And wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.
This is what I noticed.
Go to Scott Pelly.
What the fuck's on your face?
What is that yellow chalk on your right cheek?
I've said this a million times.
Stop putting makeup on men on TV.
They look fucking ridiculous.
Scott Pelly looks like a peach right there.
And then his little hint of lipstick.
And then you left some fucking foundation, some yellow powder on his right cheek.
We know that older guys look kind of blotchy.
That's fine.
We're not trying to fuck him.
Why are you trying to make him a smoke show?
A 13-year-old girl.
Not that I'm attracted to 13-year-old girls.
An 18-year-old girl.
And then Cuomo, I don't think, had any makeup.
Now, this is ironic because I said, when I was looking at Cuomo, I thought, fuck, he's ugly.
But that's no makeup, right?
Now, let me be clear here.
My problem with Cuomo is these giant laugh-line things on his face that are sinking forward.
A mustache would counter that beautifully.
A beard would help too.
But as far as the actual skin tone, no one has a problem with that.
That's what you should have.
He shouldn't have a mustache because that's the best, that's the flattest real estate on his face.
No, you got to distract people.
Look.
Don't I look better like this?
Yes.
Yeah, I look way more handsome.
Even though if you could see what's behind this fur curtain, you just see a sad little anemic squirrel.
Oh, they canceled the fur curtain Mercury Lounge show, by the way.
Oh, fuck, that sucks.
So not only are the schools closed finally, but takeout on delivery only at New York City eateries and bars.
I'm telling you, man, you know who's going to fucking come out shining, smelling of gold, because gold smells delicious?
Immigrants.
Immigrants who have all family employees, they don't have to pay.
They are going to ride out this storm like nobody's business.
And true Americans who employ teenagers, which is everyone's ideal, we're sick of hearing accents everywhere.
Like I met a local place in Westchester getting a pizza the other day, like at a fancy place where they have fancy brick oven pizza and other stuff.
And there's a 19-year-old with a Portuguese accent.
Can I help you?
Okay, what are you going to want?
That's East Indian, but you get the idea.
And I'm just like, we don't have any teenagers here?
We had to fly a teenager from 3,000 miles away.
Anyway, those accented peoples are going to destroy us.
Actually, I was talking to John Kinsman on the weekend because he's in prison and his beautiful daughter, Liberty, and her two brothers and John's wife, Zenoa, stayed at my house for 24 hours on their way up to go upstate to visit John in prison.
But at the 11th hour, literally, the prison told him that he can have no guests.
No one can have any more guests.
All the prisons have stopped visitation.
So she had to turn around and drive Back to Illinois, 14-hour drive.
But anyway, I was talking to John, and he was obviously incredibly bummed about not seeing his kids, especially when he could hear his kids.
I was playing with Liberty all weekend.
She likes a little thing I do called the dip or doodle.
Kids are so easy to make laugh.
You want to make a kid laugh?
Do the dipper doodle.
You go one, two, three, dip.
That's for babies.
Babies also like it.
You take their hands and you rub them on your beard so it opens up.
Their fists are always clenched.
You open up their clenched fists on your beard and their inner hands feel your stubble, laugh their fucking heads off.
And then when you get older, like his other girl, Zola, this is the gag you do.
Ready?
You go.
And even after like three times, they'll be giggling with anticipation.
Patient knowing you're about to Everybody Everybody I confused them.
Honestly.
I knew it.
I really thought that was the same person.
You're a fucking retard.
So yeah, they had to go back.
But sorry, John was saying that this is great news because we're realizing how vulnerable we are.
We're realizing that 97% of our antibiotics are made in China.
And that makes us vulnerable.
Thank you.
I didn't do any set design before we started.
I should have.
Everybody got time for that!
There we go.
Everybody?
I'll make you a thumbnail right now.
Ready?
Got it.
So yeah, we obviously have a lot of coronavirus shit to discuss.
My local message boards, Jesus Lord, you should read them.
Oh, my God.
I want to give a thank you to the workers out there, the workers who are busting their butts.
Why are you announcing this on a message board?
It's even below a tweet as far as relevance goes.
And I saw tweets too, like Barbara Streisand saying, we're out there.
Those nurses are out there.
Thank God for them.
God bless them.
Thanks.
Give them some money or something if you really give a shit.
What is more meaningless than a tweet?
I'll tell you what's more meaningless than a tweet.
A random post on a very local message board.
Hey, I just want to say this is a good time to reflect and spend time with your family.
You know, if you're tired, nap, catch up on some books you've been meaning to read.
Who the fuck are you?
My mommy?
What am I?
Nine?
What am I?
Ten?
By five?
It's a really bizarre thing to get on a local message board and tell people to wash their hands.
Like, who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Be careful.
And also, elderly people, if you're young and you're congregating, you're making it worse for them.
Fuck off.
Anyway, the reason I brought up the ballad of Roger Stone on a coronavirus episode is to say Milo's book is out.
He was working fastidiously on it when we were over there.
And it's done, ready to rock.
This genius of a boy, Milo, had different endings ready.
Oh, look at this.
I better...
Did he not include my fucking write-up?
Hit read more, you fucking retard.
Where's that?
Where do you think it is?
Oh, right here.
Holy shit.
He didn't include me.
What a dick.
What the poop.
Fucker.
Well, we know who he likes more than me.
Anyway, he had different endings ready.
Because I said, what are you going to do if he gets off?
And he goes, I have an ending for that.
Well, what are you going to do if he gets 30 years?
I have an ending for that.
So when it happened, boom, he was ready to just plug in the ending, add the relevant details, and then whoosh, it was off to the presses.
Amazing.
So yeah, picked that up.
Milo's a fun writer to read.
Very sarcastic and silly.
It's not dense and harrowing.
I'm becoming lazy.
And plus, after a hard day of reading.
Uh-oh.
That doesn't sound good.
Every cough.
Sounds bad.
Every cough makes us scared her.
What was I saying?
Oh, yeah, I'm becoming lazy.
And I read these articles all day trying to prepare for you.
And by the time I get home, I don't want to read something dense.
I don't want to read Kierkegaard, which is what's great about Michelle Malkin.
She's really fun to read.
Anyway, I was going to do the rhythm.
This is the rhythm of the night to show you a little segment on partying Europeans.
Oh shit, I forgot to number things.
Well, we're doing them chronologically, so this should be easy.
Italians, Italian DJs who obviously have all their shit in their apartment, right?
They don't going to leave it in storage.
So they have like an amp, records, and lights, and they can rock your world to shitty dance music.
It's a lot of people who are playing.
Hey Europeans, could you be farther behind us, please?
When were we doing Rhythm of the Night?
1990s?
What was it?
95, 97.
95, 97.
Another jam.
This is Ryan's record collection.
I do like it.
DJ single mom.
*Ding music*
Isn't it pasta everybody's bedtime at that time?
So that's fun.
By the way, I was making fun of Europeans, but I'm supporting that.
What's that?
Oh, it's one of my rubber bands.
in Spain they were doing it also.
Two similarly shitty tunes.
Yeah, I'm going to play a lot of jazz.
Yeah, I'm going to play a lot of jazz.
This sounds a little more modern at least.
Yes, it's the time that we need our voice, okay?
I like the guy with the little raver-like next to him on the same floor.
What has he got?
Like an iPhone?
Could be, yeah.
The one on the top floor, that's got to be some other sort of blade.
That's like an actual strobe.
Thanks, Ryan.
Thanks, Detective Shitty.
I had no idea.
I thought it was a dog whose head was on fire.
No.
That would make a way different blade.
Oh.
So that's Spain.
That one when I first saw it almost made me cry.
Now that I look at it, I don't care.
Maybe it's because when I do this show, I'm a little more callous.
And then we had Italians coming up with a way to share wine with their neighbors and also be patriotic while singing the Italian national anthem, which kind of sucks.
How many times do you say Italian in your national anthem?
We don't overuse America in our songs.
Here comes the wine.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Why did we need those buzzing helicopter blades if he was pulling them manually?
Maybe the...
But someone added drones?
Is that Detective Shitty's?
What is the?
He's doing it manually.
He's just pulling them.
Could be a drone recording this.
Oh, that's pretty.
And we're not watching the drone footage?
Well, he's sure flying low.
Because there sure are drones.
Well, no, no.
The video we're watching is not a drone, but there could be a drone in the area taking video of this.
Hmm.
So then they show this horrific example.
Oh, shit.
Did I send you the people fighting for paper towels?
Possibly separate?
Does your iPhone work with gloves on?
My iPhone does, yeah, but getting it on the...
I think emailing might be that.
I gotta show you.
So you dig up that video of the Italian hospital.
and i'll send you this awesome video of people fighting over paper towels So I was looking at this going, doesn't look so bad.
Criage.
Like, have you ever been to Beth Israel?
In the East Village, in New York City?
That's what it looks like.
There's people waiting in the hallways.
Maybe you people are used to nicer hospitals.
But this is pretty much our everyday.
If only we could see the coronavirus.
If only it was a blue gas.
And you could just see it coming out of people's mouths and you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Get that fucking coronavirus off of me.
I saw, we had to drive today because we don't want to take Metro North.
And I saw a mask on the ground.
And I thought, oh, that'll be funny.
I'll pick it up and I'll put it on.
And I thought, the odds of it having coronavirus are pretty high.
To be clear, if you're looking for a stance from this show, our stance is this is not a big deal.
We are of the, it's just as much as dangerous.
It's much less dangerous than the flu.
We think this is all overhyped.
This is malarkey.
Chill the fuck out.
As far as America goes, as far as Italy and Spain goes, that's none of my business.
I don't deal with you people.
As far as America goes, you don't have to close down the schools.
Kids aren't really getting it.
This is all hyperbolic, but whatever.
It'll work.
Okay, did you get that video?
Not yet.
We had the weirdest email on earth.
Or you sent it via email, right?
Yeah.
Why do you have to ask me which email I sent it to?
No, no, no.
Maybe you airdropped it to my phone because you said you had your phone ready.
No, I emailed it to you.
So you just go to all your inboxes.
Yep.
Yeah, I'm still waiting.
That's fucking annoying.
Maybe I should.
I have to go with the FBI first or something.
Yeah.
I remember emailing being way faster before.
That's someone's saying to me, should we cancel this London trip?
Dude, it's canceled.
You can't go to London.
Alright, it says it's sending, but did that go to the right computer?
Went to the incorrect computer, but.
Your other computer isn't available.
I don't like the fans at home having to watch us do our job.
But this is worth it.
I saw this on Milo's Telegram where he said, the government treats you like animals because you act like animals.
Alright, what are you doing now?
You're sending that to yourself?
I'm just going to play it on this computer.
Okay.
What is the big deal with paper towels and toilet paper?
It's not doing anything wrong.
you Thank you.
God, you're fucking useless, aren't you?
Well, this computer has a weird.
That's why I don't use this one for videos, but I tried to give it a shot.
And so your email still hasn't come through.
This is bananas.
Annoying.
And why can't you send it from one computer to the other?
I'd have to turn my internet on, and we're having running programs that are depending on the stable internet connection.
So if I put on the Wi-Fi instead of the landline.
Oh, I just got it.
Oh, Jesus, just got it.
Look how long that took to send two megabytes to someone that's five feet away from me.
I got some guy calling me after I complained about that, saying, I'll come by and fix your email.
Not for free, but uh, no, thank you.
Look at this, I need paper towels.
I'm gonna die if I don't have paper towels.
Look, what's she fighting about?
Why does everyone think paper towels and toilet paper are the solution to this problem?
I'm lost.
Worst case scenario, there's a million things you can wipe your ass with.
It's not an issue.
I'm getting a bidet.
A tushy bidet.
That doesn't look as cool as I thought it would.
Maybe this is a conspiracy to get us all using the bidet in America.
Enjoying the rest of the world.
We should use a bidet.
I use a bidet every day.
Every day.
Biffy.com.
Don't go to tushy.
It's too expensive.
Oh, there's a different way.
You got a Biffy.
Biffy.
B-I-F-F-Y.
Oh, I didn't know that existed.
80 bucks.
Last time I checked.
So you never need toilet paper ever again.
You can also control the blast with Biffy.
Biffy.com, Ryan.
You can control the blast with the tushi as well.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Do you have a tushy?
No, I want to order one this Friday.
This Friday?
Oh, because that's when you get paid because you already spent your money, even though you got a raise?
Well, no, it's not all spent.
I could pull for my savings.
I just do not want to do that.
Actually, I do have money.
Never mind.
Never mind.
Okay.
Fuck off.
Oh, look, I got all kinds of different ones now.
What's that?
Abiffy warmer.
I don't really like the warmer.
You have to hook it up to your sink, I think.
I like it when it's freezing cold.
I'm glad this guy's still going.
I put this on the cover of Vice in 19, no, maybe 2001.
20 years ago.
Still going strong.
Created by a doctor.
All right, here's a funny video of some guy screaming at the media when they're at some grocery store at 6 in the morning.
Okay, now there's somebody who is being number.
We'll talk to you guys a little bit later.
It's your fault that people are freaking out here.
You all the ones that are at fault.
This is your worst Luke.
This is your worst Luke?
I'm reacting to other people.
Well, you don't have to.
Did you hear that?
Well, no, totally.
Oh, fuck you.
He said.
Thank you.
You're all the scum of the earth.
I don't even blame the tiny.
I don't blame them at all.
They did everything right.
It's you all that are hyping things up.
That's an elaborate shirt he has.
Isn't it?
Look.
He's got a back flap and gussets and turrets and little ventilators.
Lapels.
Why are you rolling your eyes, bitch?
He's got a point.
His point is that it's you people, the media, that is making this into a hype thing.
And that's a good point.
Now, he also said, I don't blame the Chinese.
That's a bad point.
Check out this random article I saw today in China Daily of all places, where you're not allowed to, to be honest.
So it's probably much worse than this says.
But 72 super rich dead before their time since 2003.
This is the world that the far left wants, where billionaires die.
Since 2003, 72 billionaires in the Chinese mainland have died of unnatural deaths.
The Chang Chun-based New Culture News reported Friday.
The paper reached such a conclusion after conducting a survey of public reports of billionaires' deaths over the past eight years.
Among the 72 billionaires, 15 were murdered.
That's like Hillary Clinton numbers.
17 committed suicide.
You committed suicide as a billionaire?
You must have been real sad.
Why didn't you go on a vacation?
I don't think you committed suicide.
I think someone put a gun in your hand and then pulled the trigger.
Seven died from accidents.
These can all go under murdered so far.
14 were executed according to the law.
What?
For what crime, please?
In what country?
And 19 died from diseases.
I would bet half those diseases were China getting involved.
This is what separates socialists from capitalists.
When capitalists see someone who's stinking rich, we go, cool.
Wow, you busted your ass.
And when socialists see someone, I'll let you see my gorgeous face from now on.
When socialists see someone who's successful, they go, fuck, I want that.
I want that money.
They're not excited for the person.
And I would argue the latter group is unusual.
I think what makes the West unique is that we like success.
Even in Canada, I noticed a difference.
The example I like to use is a Lamborghini.
In Montreal, if you saw a guy on St. Catherine Street in a Lamborghini, you'd laugh at him.
You'd think, what a fucking loser.
In New York, you see someone with a Lamborghini, you go, fuck, someone is kicking ass.
Phew.
Wow.
You have a lot of money, dude.
And I figured out a way for you to tell if you are one of these evil socialist shitstains or what if you're someone who appreciates exceptionalism.
And the best way to do this is the Marble Rally.
Marble Rally is now, it's basically becoming a professional sport.
It's been around for about 15 years.
And they race marbles down sand hills.
It's really cool if you can ever get the fucking video to load.
What's going on?
Seems to not, well.
So don't you just find yourself rooting for that blue marble in the front?
Yes.
Come on, dude.
Go for it.
Go for it.
Because races and sports simulate life.
Football and b.
I'm dying.
Football and baseball simulate war, which is a natural part of our existence.
It's in our DNA.
It's in our genetics To want to war, to have to war.
And we want to win our battles.
What the fuck's going on now?
This is freezing.
Why did you make it full screen, you goddamn retard?
See it better.
Well, we're not seeing it better.
You know what they do with these courses, too?
They add lumps and dips, and then they add forks in the road, which is exactly like life, right?
You have to make a choice sometimes.
Should I take this job in another city?
And sometimes that's a huge benefit.
Sometimes it's a mistake.
Sometimes your old company that you left is doing better.
Uh-oh, look at that.
That was the right move to make for blue ball.
See, I'm getting into it already.
I'm pretty into this.
But there's other times he's going to make a decision that he'll regret.
He's kicking ass now, though.
It's just got to be the weight of the marble.
You're anthropomorphizing these marbles.
Oh, see, that fucked him.
He hesitated, and now he's third.
All I can see is blue marble.
Me too.
Or teal.
Whatever.
Oh, he got passed by.
Or what's that?
Turquoise?
Aqua?
Turquoise Jade?
Oh, look, he made another bad move.
Wait, what happened?
It's frozen here.
Oh.
There we go.
Now he's number two, I think.
No, no, he's still third.
He was in third, but he was seven behind before.
He was like sixth before.
Now he's two.
Now he's two.
Are you serious?
Now he's one.
He's back in the lead.
Oh, my God.
You did it, Blue Balls.
This is crazy.
This is like my sex life.
Blue balls always come out in the front.
Always prevailing.
Yeah.
Drained balls don't do so aren't so common.
No, no, no.
Wow.
We don't see a lot of drained balls in my life.
We do see a lot of blue balls.
And drained ball is last.
Yes, blue balls win.
Holy cannoli.
It's exceptionalism.
Like when I see a billionaire, I see the same as when I look at, you know, Jacob deGrom pitch.
I just go, holy shit.
There is an incredibly talented person who's way out of my league.
And there should be.
You know, there's people who are seven feet tall.
There's going to be some ups and downs.
And if you look at IQ, you look at the Fields math medals, yes, there is this tiny elite group who wins all the mathematical medals because they're the best at it.
The same with basketball.
There's this elite group.
They go, well, only that 1% is part of the 2% that's paying for, they're making all the money of the 90%.
Yeah, Bernie, do that with the NBA.
Out of all the people, the 100% of people who play basketball, only 0.01% are in the NBA.
And out of all the money that the NBA gets, all the money that's given out to basketball players, only 0.001% get the money.
The rest of the people do it for free.
Most people who play basketball don't get one red cent.
They're out there doing it for free.
They can't pay the bills.
They can't support a family with the basketball.
College basketball players cannot support a family.
Only the NBA.
Yeah, some people deserve better.
So why would money be different than all of these other things?
With sports, we're all about normal at baseball.
We can all, all normal, healthy men can probably throw a ball at like 55 miles an hour.
Then there's a couple of freaks who can throw it above 90.
We watch them on the TV because they're special and they make tons of fucking money.
You know what the Don't Touch Trust China thing reminded me of?
Did you see this clip?
Oh, yeah.
That Avi got?
China is ass-hole.
As her.
Donald Trump don't trust China.
China is asshole.
Who?
It's so.
There's no R. That's her.
Why are you adding a R. China is ass-ho?
China is ass-ho.
Yeah, that is it.
It's H-A-O-W-E.
As ho!
China is ass-ho!
Donald Trump don't trust China.
China is ass-ho!
Donald Trump don't trust China!
China is ass-ho!
China!
Oh my god, that's a great Halloween costume.
You just gotta, I can't do it because of my beard, but you just carry a Chinese flag and you have sunglasses and people don't know who you are.
And then every time someone asks you what you are, you go, China is ass-hoe!
Donald Trump don't trust China!
China is ass-ho!
The mouth.
Fuck, I wish I was Asian.
Wait, you're Asian.
You gotta be him.
I will.
They're gonna think I'm Rufia with that head.
Donald Trump don't trust China.
China is asshole.
They're like, oh, no, he doesn't have red hair.
That's an umbrella behind him.
Yeah.
You know, that's Abby Yamini, right?
Yes.
That's pretty, that's gold.
He got gold.
He got a viral chunk of gold.
Oh, I've watched that 740 times.
I don't know why.
You've probably seen this.
This was from last week, but I've never heard the word patroning before.
Alexandria Orquezo-Cortez.
This is before shit really blew up.
So she looks even stupider now.
But she said that we have to be patroning, not patronizing.
I think she's so fucking stupid that she doesn't get like patriarchy and what it comes from and patronizing.
She thinks the only word patronizing can possibly be, the only meaning it can possibly have, is when you're shitting on someone.
And like those message boards I was talking about, where they say, take a nap.
That's patronizing.
It also is to act as a patron and to patronize establishments.
Have you ever read, not even a book, have you ever read a magazine article, Alexandria?
If you order takeout, please consider ordering takeout from a honestly, it sounds almost so silly to say, but there's a lot of restaurants that are feeling the pain of racism, where people are literally not patroning Chinese restaurants.
They're not patroning Asian restaurants because of just straight up racism around the coronavirus.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Just pause.
It's not racism.
It's not prejudice.
It's post-judice.
Statistically, say we are worried about food.
Out of all the food that's going to get you sick, aren't the odds higher that's going to be Chinese food?
Food made by Chinese people?
Out of all the people that are going to give you coronavirus, aren't the odds higher, disproportionately higher at least among Chinese?
Are you allowed to notice that?
I feel like a Muppet with these hands.
I feel like Fozzie Bear.
you know how you'd always see him?
Yes, his little hand, little gestures.
I think that was someone's job entirely.
So, someone would be in here with the puppet and maybe moving the eyes once in a while for a blink, but then someone else's job was just to get under the table and just be like going, Oh, yeah, that can't be one guy, right?
So, inevitably, when you do that, you want to move around.
Yeah, you want to over-hand act.
If you look at me, I'd probably go like this for 90% of the show and then occasionally go like that.
But if you look at a Muppet, he's fucking, he just cannot enough of making his points.
Yeah, and every Italian, every Muppet's Italian, and they got a guy solely responsible for hands.
Patroning.
I looked up the word patroning because I thought, am I dumb?
And it said, word invented by Alexandria Egasio-Cortez.
And even in terms of what you can do, this is another thing, too.
At least she's a politician who ostensibly their role is to explain things to a bunch of people, and then they go out and do that.
I don't think it's effective, but at least there's a precedent set for that.
But local peoples just getting on their fucking message board, it's a good time to, you know, try to avoid contact, try to avoid kissing people on the lips, maybe use your elbow.
Who are you?
Order, you know, try to order local food and make sure that you tip service workers extra because this is incredibly important.
Telling me to tip more.
How do you know more than me?
Well, I was a bartender once.
Yeah, you still are, you stupid bitch.
Oh, this was a disturbing video.
We actually have evidence of the person behind.
We have patient zero here.
Spreading the disease.
Let me go fix this.
He looks like my buddy who just died.
The guy who was in the If Dudes Ran Fashion video.
But he died of cancer.
Do you think that's real?
What we just saw?
I think so.
But the dude, go back to the beginning.
How did the dude filming know it was about to get good?
Right.
Good point.
You were just filming a random guy?
No, this is fake.
Yeah, I smell it too now.
Yeah.
He goes, I'm going to go up there and lick the pole so you get to start videotaping me.
Here is why we don't give a shit about coronavirus.
Very handy graphic.
Stole this again from Milo.
All my good shit comes from Milo.
Breaking down the biggest plagues.
Of course, the bubonic plague, 200 million people.
Back in the 1300s, by the way, when we weren't known for our gigantic populations, Europe wasn't exactly hustling and bustling in the 1300s.
That was still back in the days of castles and bulwarks and storming the Bastille.
That was a big deal back in the 1300s.
That was like Game of Thrones type shit.
And we lost 200 million people.
Then smallpox, 56 million.
Apparently there was a bunch of plagues in the 17th and 18th centuries I didn't know about.
They were pretty small, 3,600,000.
Cholera was pretty bad.
I don't know what the third plague is.
You ever heard of that?
No.
Yellow fever I had for a while, but you get over it when you realize the girls tend not to have an ass.
Keep going.
Who's that big green guy?
Spanish flu, 40 to 50 million.
Oh, they spelled it wrong.
I don't get it.
That's not funny.
Asian flu, 1 million.
HIV AIDS, that's a biggie.
25 to 35 million.
You'll notice it's fuchsia.
SARS, nothing.
Swine flu, Ebola was much smaller than I thought, 11,000.
And then novel coronavirus, it looks actually too big in that picture.
That's 6.4,000, but ongoing.
And then scroll down, they sort of take them off the timeline and just show you them there.
You see the black death.
Not that we should be comparing everything to the most unimaginably horrific plague in the history of man, but smallpox, Spanish flu, I think those are relevant.
And then when you scroll down, you see novel coronavirus at the bottom there, and it's too small to graph.
6,000.
Can we fucking relax, please?
What's the New York City death toll at?
Two.
Ooh.
I'm so scared.
There's about a murder a day in East New York.
So let's fucking...
Jennifer Rubin, who claims to have been a Republican at some point, is one of the worst people alive.
And she's on MSNBC all the time saying extreme shit.
There's a theme with her quotes, and those are Trump supporters dying.
She wants us to die.
And here she is saying, this is an interesting way the news is phrased on the left, right?
Republicans are less hysterical and more rational about this outbreak, right?
Through their lens, they're not sea glasses, they see Republicans think it's a hoax and are risking their lives on a daily basis because they're so stupid.
Democrats are smart and they are controlling, they're flattening the curve by being rational about all this.
In Post piece that talks about the fact that older Americans are more worried about coronavirus unless they're Republicans.
No, not unless they're Republican, but older Republicans are less hysterical than left-wing old people.
Republican, Jennifer.
That we now have a situation where Trump's own people are actually in greater danger, but those of us who live in this earth can't even reach them.
They're not listening to it.
By the way, affirmative action hire.
You don't live in Earth unless you're a worm.
You live on Earth.
Those of us who live in Earth, she says.
And there is a particular cruelty, irony, that it is their core viewers, the Republican older viewers, as Eric said, who are the most at risk.
And when you think about it, which party immediately canceled all of their rallies?
Which party immediately started to political figures really portray and use their lives as an example?
It was the Democrats.
So there are going to be, I hate to put it in these terms, there are going to be less Democrat deaths because of there will be less.
Do you really hate to put it in these terms?
I don't think you do, my dear.
There will be less opportunities for people to congregate and share this horrible disease.
So it is really a very short-sighted strategy.
But I think now the name of the game is how do they get back on planet Earth?
And part of the way I think they're doing it is down the memory hole.
He jumped on this right away.
Don't you know?
It was because of all that planning that we're doing so well, which is head spinning for the rest of us who watched him for weeks say this was a hoax.
He never said it was a fucking hoax.
He said it's not a big deal.
And it is not a big deal.
Suddenly, he's been the most preactive.
Russia.
He's been the toughest on them.
He's been the toughest on them.
So they will kind of.
Isn't this ironic, by the way, that this fucking bitch is talking about how we are full of shit on the right and we always backpedal and we say something and then deny it happened.
Meanwhile, I think I may have sent this to you.
This massive list of all the things they said was going to be huge.
Remember, he's going to get impeached.
That's going to be the end.
I remember even before Trump was elected, Greg Guttfeld would text me all the time and go, your boy just blew it.
It's all over for your boy.
Back to the pussy thing.
From the pussy thing on, every week it's been, oh, this is the end.
Did I send that to you?
Was that after the show notes?
No.
Well, I've been talking on this microphone ever since I sent you that other picture.
How would it include that?
Wait, I'll find it for a second because it is relevant.
Should I play the rest of the clip?
Yeah.
Get in line and get in sync.
And, you know, we're always saying, but, but, but, you know, pointing to the past, they don't.
They simply move with the flow.
Every day is a new day.
Every day is a new storyline.
And they're going to stick with it.
I think the problem is going to be.
So here's all the things the left has told us were the apocalypse, and they were wrong.
Remember when net neutrality was going to destroy the open internet?
Moving the embassy to Jerusalem was going to start mass riots.
Trump was going to start a nuclear war with Korea by shaking his hand.
The Dow Jones would crash way below 18,000 and never recover.
Wait a minute.
Hasn't it crashed below that already?
Well, we know it's going to recover.
Pulling troops out of Syria was going to lead to the destruction of the Kurds.
Remember that one?
When they all of a sudden gave a shit about the Kurds?
What are you making, Putin?
Remember when Adam Schiff had concrete evidence that Trump colluded with Russia?
Remember when we were going to see evidence that Brett Kavanaugh was a gang rapist and that the Covington Catholic High School students were white supremacists?
Remember when the Trump tax cut was only going to benefit the rich?
Remember when Trump's presidency was going to be brought down by Michael Cohen, Omarosa, John Kelly, Michael Wolf, Jim Mattis, John Bolton?
Remember when killing Qasim Soleiami was going to lead to World War III?
Do you remember that one?
Remember when we on this show and our investigative journalism noticed that his ring doesn't match up?
All right, let's go to the mailbag, but I want to start with one I sent you separately a while ago, meaning like a few hours ago, that I think would be a great intro.
And it's a good segue from coronavirus to mailbag.
And tomorrow, we're going to, unless there's really groundbreaking news, I think we've busted our nut.
We're no longer blueballed when it comes to coronavirus.
We can get back to normality, normalcy tomorrow.
We can start patroning normalcy.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.
Let me touch it.
I got to say, the quality of letters we get is abnormally high.
And I'm going back to Vice days where we would get physical letters to the editor.
So I think I'm pretty well versed in what typical letters are.
And these are abnormally high quality.
I put different flags on my computer, what ones are worth reading, and I put red flags on the ones that aren't.
And I would say I have 11 blue flags for every one red flag.
And the red flags are just things like we've already discussed it.
Or I don't think it's that exciting.
But they're never complete pieces of shit.
Okay, this is from Rubin, like the sandwich.
Hey, Gavin, I'm a mathematician at the Dutch Mathematical Institute.
I've spent the past couple weeks modeling the outbreak of the new virus in several countries.
The reason the US is fine so far is because of general low population density.
Conversely, the EU has a general high population density, and this is why we're really, really fucked.
Sure, there are other things that kill more people yearly, but our medical system is built around handling this.
The demand for these things grows slowly and predictably.
For example, cancer kills lots of people, but the demand for cancer doesn't jump up and down.
It grows slowly, and therefore we can adapt.
Like an asshole.
Like a asshole.
You get what he's saying?
This new virus Is causing a sudden spike in demand for intensive care, and intensive care is not elastic.
We can't just produce more intensive care beds and mechanical ventilators.
If they're gone, they're gone.
And people start dying hard.
Die hard.
Yippee Kaye, motherfucker.
He should have said that.
Yes, sir.
You can see this happening in Italy, where they were fine until they ran out of IC spots.
Then the CFR started shooting up.
Quick maths.
They pluralize it in Europe.
10% of cases need an IC bed.
In the Netherlands, we have 2,000 of those, of which 1,600 have ventilators.
70 to 90% of those are occupied at any given time, which leaves us 200 to 600 beds.
That's 2,000 to 6,000 infections until the system starts breaking down.
We're on track to cross the 2,000 number in a week.
What countries are next?
Iceland and Norway are irrevocably fucked.
Thousands will die.
Iceland has 30 IC beds.
They are so fucked.
Iceland's a very tiny country.
You can't stand anywhere.
It's volcanic rock shooting up like Superman's house everywhere.
It's not easy to go for a promenade.
The Fortress of Solid.
In Iceland.
And that's why I said, when I say we're not scared, I'm talking about America.
I'm not going to speak as an expert on Iceland.
Is the U.S. going to be fine?
Mostly.
Washington is kind of wobbling, but if this quarantine thing goes well, the situation is very, very manageable.
I have included my model shit shit out.
What?
I have included some charts.
Oh, my model shit out.
I like how he makes learning cool, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, you guys are really, really fucked.
Anyway, my model has shat out some grass that you can totally shove up your fucking ass, dude.
To illustrate my point, I want to fuck you with my heels on.
Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
How has this become the anthem?
I much preferred I like you more than a friend.
Yes, well, the times have changed, McGinnis.
Jesus H. I want to fuck you with my heels on.
In fact, I think I have a letter about Lady Saw.
Did I already read that?
I remember one about her.
I mean, I'm sure there's got to be more.
Lady Saw's gospel.
Stop me if I've already said this letter.
Gavin O'Reilly, I host an Airbnb in the LA area.
I just had a guy from Bahamas check in.
He said something about sexy fat women heels, referring to this painting.
And then the painting is Bathroom by Fernando.
Oh, that guy who draws all fatties.
You'll notice his fatties don't have cellulite.
No, it's just a round.
I saw a fucking guy at CVS the other day.
I'll send you the picture and it'll arrive in a week.
Um, who had, he, Yeah.
I'll call it pants.
And I could see the cellulite of his fucking ass.
So he's like, like, I get the jeans, the low-slung jeans thing that you got from prison or some shit.
But at least have a gorgeous ass, be slim, and make it jeans.
Don't have sweatpants falling down like you didn't pull them up after you took a shit.
And then cellulite on your fucking butt cheeks.
Anyway, sorry, this guy said he's an earthy black guy.
What?
What does that mean?
He lives in earth?
Was very, oh, sorry.
I just had to ask him if he knows Lady Saw.
He was very impressed that I knew of her music.
He also winked and said that Heels, which I meant, of course, is a filthy song.
He also said she doesn't go by Lady Saw anymore.
She's now a Christian.
Oh, she wrote enough ding-dongs to last her a lifetime.
Anyway, I've gotten a lot of the intro music, especially when you feature new or relatively unknown artists, even though a lot of musicians seem to lean left.
I find it fun to listen to music I've discovered through the show, especially when I'm the first one, my mostly lefty friends to know about it.
Come stare at my Airbnb anytime.
I want to fuck you with my heels on.
I want to bless you with my crucifix on.
Yeah.
How does she translate into Christian?
Here's another.
Oh man, we have a lot.
I could do a whole show on ladies' saws.
This is from Gabe.
Hey, Gavin, are you purposely misquoting Lady Saw?
It's let me fuck you with my heels on.
Not I want to fuck you with my heels on.
And how about in a couple of lines when she says, let me put this pussy on you?
P.S. Dude, this dollar sign on the wrong side of the number is driving me fucking insane.
The top meme on Reddit the other day said one dollar sign.
Don't you wish schools would work?
It really is, it's hair-pulling material with these millennials putting the dollar sign on the wrong side.
And what's worse is when I point it out and they go, no, you say $100, like the way Ryan can never accept criticism and always defends himself.
So they'll go, no, no, it's $100.
So you put dollars at the end.
And they're putting percent in the front.
You don't say percent 100.
Oh, good.
You got it.
Look at this fucking idiot.
And we're all waiting to get out of there.
And he's just chatting and chatting away.
You can't really see the cellulite.
We'd have to pump up the contrast.
Pump up the contrast, pump up the contrast.
I'm going to wear my pants like that for one day.
I think that you're seeing that, by the way, folks at home, and you're going, that's not so annoying.
Gavin spoiled.
Trust me, in real life, it was much more annoying.
It's Andrew.
And his shirt is going low, too.
So you're seeing the middle to the bottom of his butt cheeks.
I know it looks like the top.
No.
Those Yeezys?
No.
Those are the calabasics or whatever.
Oh, look, here's another letter saying that I want to call you on the Ladies Saw song.
You always misquote the lyrics.
It's Let Me Fuck You With My Heels On.
Yeah.
Boy, people are real pissed about this.
Yeah.
Question about Gary's mailbag.
Is Gary usually that bland and unopinionated?
Yes.
What do you think?
He's really exciting and charming on the streets.
The only thing he asks you on the streets is, do you have a cigarette?
And he's yet to recognize me, by the way.
Really?
You can just walk right by?
Yeah.
Does he say your name when he sees you?
No.
He goes, Hey, do you have a cigarette?
Hey, I want to get some money for lunch.
All right, that's enough of that letter.
Let's get back to non-lady saw letters.
Actually, look at this.
Okay, one more.
See if you have an email from Gravel Bear.
Just the one with the link?
Yeah.
I had the Jesus.
Yeah.
Oh, you have it queued up?
Yep.
Bluzic Filmworks.
Good quality.
We're going to rape you, bitch.
Because we don't have Jesus in our lives.
Ha ha ha.
This is going to be a major rape.
I had Jesus.
And then I became a rapist.
It's from the perspective of guys who aren't Christian anymore.
Wait, turn it up.
This song is dedicated to women.
Women who have been raped.
Women who have been beaten.
Women who have been forced into prostitution.
Women who have been addicted to drugs.
Broken women.
Women who should have been dead women.
Why is she mansplaining for women?
I've been beaten.
I've been raped.
I'm going to be a little bit more.
That doesn't rhyme.
But I never lose my faith.
Oh, raped in faith?
Sort of.
It was an AAB.
Oh, I've been weeped.
But don't you get it twisted.
I guess riding on my ding dong is out.
He never let go of your hand?
Oh, look, someone was riding someone's ding-dong.
I guess he's saying Jesus is holding you even when you fuck them with your heels on.
He's my Jesus and a man.
He said I am Jesus and a man.
She still got her heels on.
All right, that's enough.
Thank you for that.
It's actually more obscene than her other song.
All right, let's get to some letters then.
Ready?
How are we doing for Tizine?
Pretty good.
Uh, da-ba-da-ba-da.
I want to fucking put my heels on, yeah.
Yeah.
Gavin, aging like milk.
That doesn't sound very flattering.
This is from a guy named Austin.
I've been going through the CRTV archives recently, and my God, in the past three years, you've aged about 10 years.
You appear to be drying up like some sort of large raisin.
Your chin is that of a water buffalo.
So big.
Thank you.
Even though you don't smoke, you look like you smell like an ashtray.
Your beard gives me a steel wool vibe.
The other day I'm watching an app and I think, oh, cool, Jimmy is on.
Nope, that's the G-Man.
The tattoos now look ridiculous.
You should have them removed.
Seriously, when my niece draws on herself, we get a good laugh.
Oh, look at her.
She's so goofy.
Good thing that stuff washes off.
So we're supposed to look at some geriatric that has drawn on himself and think, oh, yeah, man, that's really cool.
What does that one mean?
Can you make that one of your dictator rules, by the way?
Tattoos should not mean anything.
You want to have an inspirational quote or someone to look at?
Use a fucking sticky note, you child.
Well, what does that leave then if they're not supposed to mean anything?
Just like a ball?
Yeah, tribal?
It is a ball.
If this hurts your feelings, I do humbly apologize.
It's what's inside that counts, bud.
I want to fuck you with my heels on.
P.S., you only had a few thousand subscribers on your Reddit page, but as far as I can tell, the whole thing has been deleted.
Really?
Let's look that up.
Gavin read it.
It's up.
Liar.
Your pants are on...
I may be ugly, but at least my pants are not on fire.
Thank you, Ryan.
Look.
Did you mean to make your face do that?
The hairline doesn't seem that different either.
No.
I think you're just being a little hard on yourself, is all.
I'm not hard on myself.
Oh, this is a long one.
I had a nickel for every time I heard that.
Boys, hope you two are prepared for quite the boogaloo on the horizon.
I'm not worried, though.
I wanted to point out the absolute buffoonery of this newest liberal talking point.
There aren't enough COVID-19 tests.
It's Trump's fault.
What fucking good is a test if there's no cure?
What fucking good is a vaccine if it may or may not work?
In my opinion, a vaccine is not a cure for a virus like this.
All it really is is a mere dart thrown at the walls with the hopes of hitting the bullseye.
What fucking good is any medicine if you eat 10 quarter pounders throughout the week while sitting on the fucking couch playing those ridiculous video games?
I'm so sick of these fucking liberals echoing anti-Trump rhetoric, making things worse.
For example, liberal and fat Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker said on Meet the Press, the federal government has fallen down.
He repeated it so incessantly throughout the interview that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All the hysteria from these state politicians caused a run on the stores and nothing but chaos.
Yeah, like that embarrassing paper towel fight we saw.
What are these?
What's so magic about these?
Oh, it looked like there was a bloodstain on this, but it's just a hole.
What is so magic about these?
What are you doing?
You ever heard of a dish towel?
You can wash a cloth, you realize.
They're not magic.
Lastly, this entire, oh, sorry, what can Trump be expected to do once this occurs?
His only option is to ramp up the quarantine and prove he hasn't fallen down.
Lastly, this entire weekend I saw extremely busy retail stores and shopping centers, even throughout the government, after the government explicitly said that social distancing is critical and highly recommended.
What happens when citizens blow through these government suggestions?
Here's what.
The government will only have to enforce these recommendations with the full faith and power of the government.
It won't be pretty.
Crazy times.
Stay safe out there.
More advice.
Do we have any suggestions?
Do we have any suggestions?
No.
Not so far.
I guess you scared people off.
What do you mean?
My suggestions to fight coronavirus?
No, the suggestion box.
Oh.
Gavin, my dad sent me this video on Twitter.
Being a father myself, I have learned a few things about parenthood.
Oh, I don't think this got sent to you.
Did it?
Parenthood, what is the writer's name?
Matt.
Otis Simbos.
No, it's not the Otis Simbos.
I'll send it to you.
My dad sent me this video on Twitter.
Being a father myself, I've learned a few things about parenthood.
It kind of makes you a pussy.
Slow down, my friend.
It makes you a crybaby.
And not a crybaby like you cry all the time when you're sad or if someone says they don't like your sunglasses, but you cry when you see little kids doing stuff.
That's an acceptable cry.
I can send you a list of the acceptable cries.
You can cry when a group bands together and overcomes adversity.
You can cry anything war-related, but even then, the cry has to just sort of be your eyes moistening up.
You can never go, you can never do an ugly cry.
I teared up for this one.
And then he says, man, lost 16-year-old son in a car wreck.
He decided to donate his son's organs, including his heart.
This month, the heart recipient sent dad a surprise gift.
All right, let's see if we can handle this.
This is from the heart recipient of his dead son.
Need to carry a leather man, dude.
And he does.
Oh, geez.
Okay.
You got to do the sides, too.
You're going to have to rip it.
He's strong.
Let's see how strong.
The honest death man would have preferred to get the two year in person, but not sure when that would happen.
As you know, by one for the one-year checkup this past week, while we were there, the pair put top medical poster we ordered.
Deaf or Southern?
They made arrangements with the Echo Cardiogram team.
I think Deaf.
Echo Cardiogram.
I made the recording with the acrocardiogram.
Aww.
Aww.
Is it Johnny Apple CBD?
Fill the beer.
Fill the beer.
No offense, but I would like subtitles for that.
Wait, what is this?
It's a teddy bear, but that's the sound of his son's heart beat.
That's pretty sad.
All right, you got us, dude.
Yeah, that was rough.
It's from James.
Hey, guys, wondering if you've ever been to any breweries either in the U.S. or in other countries.
Yes, well, I think I've been to whiskey tours.
I'm not sure I've been to a brewery.
Besides small little crafty shit.
Since you're such a fan of Budweiser, a good visit to their original brewery in St. Louis would be worth it.
I've grown to love the taste of Budweiser.
It's a nice place to go if you're on a trip with your family.
Thanks for that, dude.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah, I'm sure if I'm in St. Louis, which I would never be because it's a fucking dangerous shithole, one of the worst places in America, Wiggers Central, Gang Violence Central.
But yeah, I guess it would make sense if I had time and it was killing time in St. Louis to go check out the Budweiser Brewery.
But this goes back to what I was saying at the beginning of the episode.
Like, I don't understand people's brains.
I went to House on the Rock.
You ever been to House on the Rock?
It's a really cool thing in Wisconsin built by an eccentric billionaire where he just collected things, but he would collect things like merry-go-rounds and bands that are robots.
Cars, like, and he put all his collections in this giant, never-ending, what are you showing me?
This is a tour.
Yeah, so there's his car collection, blah, blah, blah.
I had a nice time.
In fact, I've been back many times.
Whenever I visit my wife's family in Madison, we check out House on the Rock.
There he collects ads for tapeworms because that was a thing in the 1800s where you get a tapeworm to slim down, to lose weight.
Lots of cool shit.
There he's collecting people's libraries.
That's a collection he has.
But it wouldn't occur to me to write into a show and say, dear Tucker Carlson, I was recently in Wisconsin at the House on the Rock, and he collects weather balloons and all kinds of weird shit.
And if you're baked, it will fucking blow your mind.
I actually had to sat down because I almost started having a panic attack.
Anyhow, when you're in Wisconsin, be sure to check it out.
Sincerely, stranger.
That sounds like that goes in the old suggestion box.
It does.
Here is your suggestion to go and see the brewery in St. Louis where bud is made.
Fuck off.
What a waste of time.
This is from Gabe.
Hey, Gav, I love the surveillance cameraman video so much, I watched the rest of it.
I think the guy is a privacy advocate.
He says things like, There are cameras in there, wherever they are, or do you have something to hide?
His point is that they are videotaped everywhere they go, and he's showing that it's an invasion of privacy that should make you mad.
How do you feel about privacy issues?
I got to be honest.
When I saw Britain go nuts with CCTV and when New York started incorporating it in the early 2000s, I was pissed off about it.
I obviously don't trust authorities.
However, in a shithole like New York City, and sorry, St. Louis, but I'm lumping my own city in with you.
It just seems to catch so many fucking rapists.
And some teenager who beats the shit out of an 82-year-old.
Oh, I almost felt like I knew that guy.
Who beats the shit out of an 82-year-old and takes her purse.
Sometimes that's all we have to go on.
And in these communities where they hate the cops so much, like Harlem and East New York, if we didn't have a video picture of the guy, we'd have nothing.
So I didn't like the loss of privacy when CCTV cameras started.
But after seeing like 70 teenagers, youths beat the shit out of an 82-year-old and rape her and take her money and go to jail for it, I kind of changed my mind.
So that's where I'm standing at now.
All right.
I think we're done.
Let's go to the video finale of the show, wherein it's called Racist Canadian Freak Out.
And it's a woman whose face is covered.
She was born here in Canada, but she's wearing the full burqa.
And he doesn't like it.
And he's voicing his opinion about it.
But this is called Racist Rant.
And I watched it.
I'm like, more like Canadian TED Talk.
Mobile TED Talks.
Yeah.
Subway TED Talk with informed person.
Bones Heckler.
I'm actually glad you're doing this.
You're helping European people wake up.
You're making them aware of who they are because knowing who you are is knowing who you're not.
And what aren't you?
I'm not a person that practices backwards ideologies and norms and customs.
So just pause.
When he says, I'm glad you're doing this, he means practicing devout Muslim training and wearing the full burqa.
We assume praying five times a day and everything else that you do when you're a devout Muslim.
So he's saying, I'm glad you're doing this because we see you and go, yeah.
You're worth half the value of a male.
Did you have a bad day today?
Is that why you're rational?
I'm part of an experimental society.
No one asked me if I want to be a fucking experiment in my own country.
Ms. Paj.
That's a relevant thing that people often bring up where they say, we're part of the diversity experiment.
And I understand that rationale, but shouldn't the people in the experiment be consulted first before they're used as pawns in a multicultural game?
And by the way, it has been tested and we've noticed that many cultures assimilate, Hindus, Sikhs, but Muslims don't seem to blend in as much.
And as he pointed out, Sharia has women as second-class citizens.
Citizens, their worth is literally half in that of a man.
And that's not something that we practice here in the West.
You wouldn't know, though.
You came from a violent and collagenist society.
Now that you're in our society, you should come down to running your presidents.
Where you should leave.
I would never go to your country and say, oh, you should be more Canadian, or you should eat this food, or speak this language.
That would be racist.
You come here.
What does it mean to be Canadian?
What does it mean to be Canadian?
Speak English, respect gender equality, believe in parliamentary democracy, you like hockey, basketball, baseball, you like greeting.
How are we having this conversation if I don't speak English?
You should fucking know.
Why are you asking me?
I'm speaking English right now, though.
It's amazing.
You're one of the 58% that actually do speak English.
This is a Canadian.
No offense to my present land.
But if this was on the Long Island Railroad or Metro North or the subway, it'd be like, you're fucking annoying.
You look like a fucking garbage bag.
And then when she says, what's Canadian?
Well, believing in a parliamentary democracy, speaking English.
And then she goes, I speak English.
And he knows the percentage of people in Toronto that speak English.
She just learned a couple of things.
Yeah, you are officially getting schooled.
This is not your typical dumb racist.
And can you size it better so we can see his boots?
I think he has red wings on.
His boots are out of frame in this particular case.
Oh, I see.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have to speak it because all our signs are in English.
We haven't completely turned our culture into trash.
We're just in the process of it, and no one asked me if I want that to happen.
You're so proud of being a colonizer.
I'm proud to be it.
I was born into it.
Just like you were born into an oppressive, totalitarian society.
You couldn't help it.
You're a product, though.
I was born in Canada.
It's amazing.
It's fucking amazing you.
That's an interesting distinction.
Because her point is, I'm Canadian.
Canadians wear burqas.
Yeah, I see that argument.
But when he's saying where you come from, burqas are not a Canadian thing.
They don't come from Canada.
Now, I'm open to tolerating them.
I understand that argument.
Someone wants to wear them in this country, but they're not Canadian.
So if you're, again, you have to use Japan because people get so offended.
If you were to go to Japan and just always wear your shoes inside, I personally don't really have a huge problem with that.
But you'd have to understand that what you're doing when you walk around their house in shoes is not Japanese.
It's anti-assimilation.
It's you doing a new non-Japanese thing in Japan.
And wearing a burqa is doing a non-Canadian thing or a non-American thing, a non-Western thing in the West.
It's great that you assume that from somewhere else.
It's amazing.
Yeah, it's great to assume that you're saying that you know your culture's from somewhere else.
You have no guts to show your face.
They're showing their face.
You guys live in a high-trust society.
You come from a low-trust society.
We have hydrogen because men will rape you if you don't wear that sort of thing.
That's why four European countries banned it.
Germany, Belgium, France.
No.
Yeah, the arrest of people do it.
You want to show this.
Wait, pause.
What country did he get wrong?
No.
No.
It was partially banned in Belgium, but now it's back.
What details is he getting wrong?
And it is interesting, too, that he says you have to wear a burqa because you live in a low-trust society.
And we saw Lara Logan went to the Arab Spring.
She had blonde hair, waving blonde hair, no burqa.
And she was like, hello, we're here in a revolution.
And it's so fantastic to see these people fighting for.
And the problem was when she was letting her blonde hair fly like that, it was like being here in the West and walking around with a butt plug up your ass, dressed in lingerie and sucking like a plastic dick and going, and it's saying on your chest, come whore.
That's the equipment.
So guys see that and go, oh, okay, you're a human garbage truck.
All right, let's just throw our semen in you.
So she was sending a message to them.
I know it sounds like I'm saying she asked for it, but in their culture, she did.
So wearing a burqa is essentially calling men, saying the men of your religion are rapist savages.
That's what you're saying.
You want to strip me off my body autonomy.
You don't want me to have the right to avoid your body.
You don't give a shit what you do with your body.
That's your autonomy.
You clearly do.
You clearly do.
You're not triggered by looking at it.
I love that.
You want to strip me of my body autonomy.
You think you have autonomy of your body?
Okay.
Go home tonight with blonde hair dyed and high-heel shoes and say, Dad, I'm not wearing the burqa anymore.
See how that autonomy works out for you.
See how that independence fleshes out.
Something tells me it's not going to go great.
If you think a burqa is a symbol of freedom, try not wearing it.
That was the end of the video.
Oh, is that it?
Well, he's probably going to get fired for doing that.
But maybe you should get fired.
Maybe you should get in trouble.
Maybe you should be brave.
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