After indulging in Marianne Williamson’s prayer for coronavirus we come to the conclusion this is nothing to worry about and everyone is overreacting. We then jump to post op tranny child Jazz Jennings and the sick culture of encouragement this poor boy is surrounded by. Finally, it’s a ton of calls from just about everywhere on earth.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
We're all gonna die.
Bye.
We're all going to die.
This is a global pandemic to the tune of the Ebonic Plague.
Remember the Ebonic Plague?
It started in the 80s with rap and now if you look up like Jake Paul or Billie Eilish or anyone Bella Thorne they all say yo I ain't trying to flex on that shit This is worse.
Soon, not only will we be speaking that way, but we will be dead.
Actually, Chet Hanks is a perfect merger of the Ebonic Plague and Coronavirus.
Because he talks in Ebonics when he's talking about his parents.
This is a thing, by the way, I noticed with our viewers when they send in video letters, they have their shirts off.
Have you noticed that?
Yeah, for Gary's mailbag, absolutely.
They think they're sexy or something.
And it's actually kind of worse if you are sexy.
Because now it's gay.
And it's making me horny.
What's up, everyone?
Yeah.
Yo, what's up?
My parents got coronavirus.
What's up, Chet?
Crazy.
They're both down in Australia right now because my dad was shooting a movie down there.
Can you just pause this?
Don't you love that he's being so real?
Yeah, he's keeping it real.
just so like yeah i know my dad's tom hanks but i'm just a regular guy who got all my tattoos in one day they both are fine they're not even that sick oh They're not worried about it.
They're not tripping, but they're going through the necessary health precautions.
I don't think it's anything to be too basic, but I'm ill, okay?
Worried about.
I appreciate everyone's concern.
I appreciate concern.
But I think it's all gonna be alright.
But I appreciate it.
And just everybody stay safe out there.
Much love.
Much love.
Oh my god.
Great.
He's worse than you with your fucking you as well That's not Ebonics, but yeah you as well.
Have a nice day you as well.
Yeah, he says you as well We got hot dogs the other day on the street guys like alright.
See you later.
Have a good day and Ryan goes you as well And then I made up a douchier one, which is double that and take half for yourself.
No, that was you making a joke after that shitty thing you did.
But now it's real.
But the shitty thing you did was real.
It wasn't a joke.
I was keeping it 100.
You as well.
That's like when people say thank you so much.
It's like European.
Don't say thank you so much.
You sound like a fucking orphan.
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Alright.
Coronavirus.
You know, uh, I was at the closing of CBGB's and they had a bunch of punk bands, including Conflict and Peter and the Test Tube Babies, a bunch of British bands flew in, which was kind of suspicious, isn't it?
So you're leaving here because you can't afford the rent anymore, but you flew in Conflict and Peter and the Test Tube Babies and The Business and Blitz and all these British punk bands?
Hmm.
The real story with CBGBs is that that venue had been making money for probably 20 years, but the shirts were making intense money.
So they left, Billy Helley, whatever his name was, left the venue open because it helped sell the shirts, it helped legitimize the shirts.
But it was all about the shirts, that place.
And then one day he went, you know what, I'll just sell the rights to the shirts to Jean Veros, and he can just make it a shitty clothing store.
And he'll dress Howard Stern and stuff, which is what happened.
And Chadwick Moore.
Chadwick Moore, whereas John, what is it?
Varvatos.
Varvatos.
Yeah.
And I noticed all those bands, you know, British people see Budweiser as a very exotic beer.
But they also see the most, and if you go to like a club in London, people are drinking Budweiser like it's fancy pants.
And when the Brits come here, they wanna get an even more exotic beer, a beer called Corona.
So I saw like GBH and all these punk legends that are now bald, that I grew up listening to, all drinking Corona.
They love their little lime, those Brits.
So this isn't the first time I've seen the coronavirus.
You notice a lot of dad puns on today's episode.
But now we had a state of emergency declared in New York.
They are shutting down the MLB.
They're shutting down basketball.
They're shutting down hockey.
USA Boxing isn't going to have any fights until the 31st.
The schools are all shut down in my neighborhood.
Legion of Skanks canceled the Skank Fest that we were talking about.
Oh, really?
Yeah, they just did today.
Yeah.
Because I was going to fly down to Dallas.
Should I not go?
I was gonna fly up to see Tommy Robinson, too.
There's a travel ban in the UK.
No, there is not.
Oh, and I'm sorry, everywhere but the UK.
Yes.
And then they go, what about these people in Europe?
Yeah, fuck them.
People who are traveling to Europe are not leading important lives.
No one is going back and forth from Berlin to New York for work.
There's no such thing.
So if you're in Europe right now and you're American, you were just fucking around on some dumb trip.
So fuck you.
But anyway, I want to make it clear that we have a position here on the show, and that is this is all total and utter bullshit, and we could not care less.
What?
Black people don't think it affects black people.
I initially took my kids out of school before I knew what was going on.
Then I looked into it and I saw, you know, 30 to 70,000 people dying a year from the flu and oh, this is more contagious, we don't know if it affects kids.
I don't think it affects black people.
What do you think of that controversial theory? - What? - Black people don't think it affects black people.
I speak to black people.
I have a secret inn to the black community called boxing.
And they see it as a white disease.
That's why they're not changing their habits.
They're still... New Rochelle, the black part of New Rochelle, which is everything sort of near Main Street, is still packed.
All weekend, New Rock Center, packed.
With blacks.
And Hispanics.
I even spoke to this black dude who's like, You know, black people can't get it, kids can't get it, and it's a white disease, but more specifically than that, it's a Jewish disease.
He sounded like Chuck D when he said it.
He said, look at the lawyer that they found in New Rochelle.
Look at the area he's in.
What did he pollute?
A synagogue.
This is a Jew disease.
Okay.
As long as it's not, I don't care if it's a you disease, as long as it's not a me disease.
But no. - Well, We had, in Obama's era, in 2008, we had the N1H1, which I think was the derivative of the Spanish flu.
That killed 284,000 people.
We didn't really close schools.
It wasn't this kind of hype around it.
Now, I'm not talking on behalf of Italy and these other places.
I'm talking about America, and specifically the Northeast, my hood.
And I'm right, I'm near New Rochelle.
Never happened in the States.
Wow, you really are getting fast at those.
You're the new Fred.
I was quite chilly before I put on this cardigan.
Now I'm quite warm.
My son, who's only my middle boy, he's only... Uh-oh.
Hey, what are you gonna do?
He just coughed.
Situation doesn't worry about it.
He goes, my son goes, that's the stupidest look ever.
And I go, what do you mean?
And he says, when you're T-shirt is sticking out from the bottom of your overthrow.
Your throw over thing.
I go, you mean when your flannel is sticking out of the bottom of your cardigan?
I go, dude, you got to get a vocabulary together if you're gonna be making fun of your dad.
Burn!
That was a good counter burn.
This is a t-shirt now?
Nice try, kids.
Um...
So yeah, we'll do some mailbag today.
We're going to avoid getting too newsy.
I do want to talk about the coronavirus.
If you subscribe to censored.tv, you'll see my interview with Dr. Shiva, the man who invented email and is also a biology dude.
What do you call them?
Biologist?
Is he just a biologist or is he a bioengineer?
I think he's a bioengineer, actually.
So we spoke to him about all this.
He seemed a little politically correct, if I may.
Because on Summit.News, Paul Joseph Watson's thing, he calls it all a big lie and a bioweapon.
I mean, I'm paraphrasing.
But when I interviewed him on the show, he was much more ambiguous and said, look, it doesn't matter if it was made by the government.
The point is, the government doesn't know how to deal with it because they suck at infrastructure.
Which is an interesting point.
I don't know.
Like even on this flight, I got planned to Texas next week.
I'll just drink alcohol.
Like you Purell your hands.
I Purell the inside of my body every day with this.
How can anything survive in here?
You're being fucking naive, dude.
Really?
How many deaths are we at?
Like 200?
In a population of 331 million?
in a population of 331 million?
Over 1,000 people were cured in Italy, too.
Oh, really?
As of yesterday, yeah.
Plus, they're all oldies.
Although, I was going to visit Tommy Robinson.
I was going to meet my dad up in Britain, too.
And my cousin today said, don't do that.
You're going to kill your da.
And I thought, he has had a pretty good run.
I feel like his last words would be, thanks, pal.
I thought Chet Hanks was laid back about his pops having it.
I'm way more dope than Chet Hanks.
This is double chill.
I'm going to get tons of beautiful spiritual tattoos.
God, it's so gay to have spiritual tattoos, like that namaste thing.
And it's always 22-year-olds getting it.
Really, you've learned a lot in life.
You've been an adult for, what, four years?
And you're telling me that you just have to take every moment as it comes.
One day at a time.
That's what this says.
In fuckin' Arabic.
Across my back.
This means dreams and destiny.
In fuckin' Urdu.
Destined to be a douche.
Dreamed to be a chode.
Yeah, over a thousand people cured of Karony.
Yeah.
You call it Karony?
That's your fun little... Yeah, you say it so much that you have to put some fun into it.
The fuck are you wearing, by the way?
Dress shoes, blue socks, slacks, and a football shirt?
Go to a wide, Ryan.
I don't have a wide.
Oh, this is it.
No, that's the wide.
Yeah, that looks really bad.
Awesome!
No, you look like, um, an immigrant.
Yes!
You look like a Turkish guy who's trying to be American.
That's what I'm going for.
The good news is Marianne Williamson has been praying for us to be cured of this.
I'm sure you've seen this already and if by the time you see this on YouTube it will be like weeks old.
But I did not know I had a vagina until she said this.
We pray that it be dissolved with healing.
With healing.
With healing.
Your cervix.
Your penis.
Your vagina.
Your penis.
Your penis.
Your buttocks.
Wait, did you just say your box?
Buttocks.
Oh, buttocks.
Who's doing the zooming?
Is that her?
No, I believe this is somebody in post.
With healing.
With healing.
Your cervix.
Your penis.
Wait, maybe not.
Your vagina.
You don't need to zoom in if you're trying to be funny.
Your colon.
Your colon?
- Go wash your hands.
Next.
How much is she kidding there?
Zero?
I think it has to be a joke.
She would be a weird lay.
Yeah.
I think she'd be an annoying lay.
I think she'd be a little too like... Lots of breathing and shit.
She reminds me of the lady from The Big Lebowski Screwed.
In Big Lebowski?
I don't remember that.
But that's all you have to do is pray for everyone's colon.
I don't think it affects your colon.
I think she's wasting a lot of prayers on a colon.
Although, I saw that video about an hour ago and I have not farted since.
And you fart, you're calling somewhere in the fart chain, isn't it?
What's this?
This is a lady from Blabowski.
Isn't that Gillianne Williamson or something?
Julianne Moore?
No, that's a totally different type of chick.
That's like a balls to the wall, let's get organized chick.
Totally different set.
She's laying back and she's holding her legs up and he's like, what are you doing?
She's like, it helps conceive or conception.
Helps conception.
Yeah.
She's all like spiritually.
She's trying to make a baby.
Yeah.
It does help with conceiving.
Oh, snap.
You really are a great input.
What else should we talk about?
Is that it for coronavirus?
I mean, what do you want me to say?
It's all or nothing, really, as far as the reactions go.
You either totally self-quarantine or you just give up and say, I think this is bullshit.
I'm of the latter group.
I assume you are too, Ryan.
Yeah.
I don't think too much about it.
We're both on Metro North going into the city every day.
We're on the subway.
Yeah.
In New York City.
And I was at CPAC.
I shook 500 hands at CPAC.
At least.
I'm patient zero, basically.
I have coronavirus.
It's not that bad.
Plenty of us have it and don't even know.
Like, it can get onto the cell, but then it has to penetrate the cell.
And as we learned from Dr. Shivs, if you have enough vitamin A, you have enough of an immune system, it can't get into the cells.
It can't lock onto them.
Is this a boring show?
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That's right.
They're not doing, last I heard they were doing audience free games.
Yeah, I heard that too, but I think it's gone even farther.
I'm not sure.
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It's really weird too to watch a game without an audience.
I saw a soccer game recently that was just the, when they get a goal and it's just, you realize how stupid sports is.
It's just a ball going into a net and then the team's very happy, but there's no crowd.
And the sportscasters too.
Uh, seem disinterested.
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It's totally delayed.
So does that mean it goes into like July?
I don't know.
Is it going to go all summer?
That would be cool.
Why does baseball end?
Baseball should go till October.
Can't they just wear like- It should go from now to October.
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I was thinking, what if all this shit did end up getting real, what I would do?
I guess I would just throw everyone into the car and drive up to Canada or something.
Yeah, where do the cases in Canada?
I have not heard anything about that.
I don't know.
Coronavirus in Canada.
Or if it's not affecting black people, go get a hotel room in Harlem.
Yeah.
Or Wakanda.
Wakanda's not real.
Then nevermind, that sucks.
Remember that professor saying Wakanda is everything that black, that Africa could be if it wasn't for colonization.
And then Ben Shapiro goes, Wakanda's not real.
And the amazing thing about that movie is you look at Wakanda and you go, it looks like shit.
It's not that great.
Like there's one or two buildings that have really cool technology, but there's also dirt roads and some shitty vendors with like pieces of bamboo and a pot hanging on the edge.
Like when they go to the market.
Yeah.
That doesn't look as nice as New York.
And they have meetings on a waterfall.
I'm not impressed.
Especially when your top export is a magic thing that's better than oil, gas, and nuclear power combined.
And you still can't really get it together.
And you're fictional.
I'm not impressed.
I don't see a lot of fun happening there.
No.
All right, so yeah, I would just drive away.
But by the way, speaking of Ben Shapiro, there's obviously this funny split on the right with the, I would call them paleo-conservatives, like Michelle Malkin and Nick Fuentes and the Groypers, and then the more sort of progressive conservatives like Ben Shapiro and Charlie Kirk and all that.
And I like Turning Point USA.
I like Charlie Kirk.
But he has said some stupid shit in the past.
So have I, of course.
But Michelle dug up this quote of his where he's talking about us taking in 50 million immigrants.
Maybe he's changed his mind since he said this, but what did he say?
And I know this sounds like a silly argument.
Yeah, it's all being used for farming.
50 million.
So we're now almost 400 million people.
At least he's saying numbers.
as much food as we could possibly produce.
We could feed the world 10 times over.
We pay our farmers not to grow.
The United States of America is an incubator for great ideas.
I think we could take another 50 million highly qualified people in the next 10 years and not even feel the hit.
- 50 million, so we're now almost 400 million people.
- To bring them to certain- - At least he's saying numbers.
Pro-immigration people can never give me numbers.
- Where they have a highly functional immigrant community from Armenia.
And some are Muslim and some are Christian.
They came with all the resources and they fled.
Some fled, some came here legally.
And they are the highest per capita neighborhoods in Dayton.
They've assimilated beautifully.
I see that as a great success story that could happen all across the country.
I was just in New York.
When you walk the streets in New York, New York City is a shit hole.
We're there every day.
You wanna walk outside with me right now?
We know the bums.
That's the market at best.
Where's the market at worst?
Well, when I go to Los Angeles and I ask people, well, where are the highest rates of welfare in the city?
New York City is a shit hole.
We're there every day.
You know, there's a lot of immigrant communities that unfortunately come here and they go on public assistance.
We know the bums.
We have a bum who does a show here.
We employ them.
The Michelle Malkin thing is different from that.
A country should always act in its rational self-interest.
Sure is.
So if you have more people that are all going to bring money with them or even better, bring skills with them, the country will only get wealthier.
The country will only get more productive.
And the country will only – The Michelle Malkin thing is different from that.
It sure is.
The tweet from Chief Trumpster is – Can't she be fat and ugly so I can concentrate, please? - Can't she trade bodies with, what's her name who did girls?
Lena Dunham.
Lena Dunham.
Can Michelle Malkin and Lena Dunham switch bodies, please, so I can focus?
It would help the world more.
Yeah.
...mass immigration into Japan and calling Japan's immigration policy, quote, really, really bad.
Listen to this, if you can.
...are not too generous.
How many refugees do you think Japan That's the perfect number.
Here's the problem with that argument, sorry.
We're what, 7 billion people?
in 2016 accepted 26 refugees how about the first half of 2017 three they accepted three refugees here's the problem with that argument sorry um we're what seven billion people two-thirds of them would love to come to America and the term refugee now we have economic refugees where if you're just sort of poor and your life sucks then you want to come over here okay
Okay, so four billion people would like to come here?
Like if we really open the floodgates, how many billions of people would like to come here?
So how about no refugees?
It's all or nothing.
Like, does it really help when you have 4 billion people who want to come here and you take in a million?
Have you really done anything?
It's like these idiots with these pet rescue things.
I found a stray dog and he weighed 10 pounds and then we fed him and he's back to health.
Did you really help things?
It's really just a hairy insect.
And now there's more of them.
How many rats did you save this year?
You know what I mean?
Support this strict of refugee resettlement.
I mean, this is extraordinary.
Just 2% of Japan's population is foreign-born.
This is actually an example of really, really bad immigration policy.
I mean, it sounds really good to some of strict borders, but actually, Japan has one of the worst debt-to-GDP ratios in the entire world.
They have an aging population.
They have a lot of problems.
Of course they have an Asian population.
It's Japan!
They've not been able to solve internally.
And honestly, um, a, a upstart entrepreneurial focused immigrant community could really have helped Japan.
They've gone far, far in the wrong direction when it comes to immigration.
So, so refugee resettlement, I get that.
I mean, you don't do refugee resettlement to make yourself richer.
You do that with your heart.
On her telegram, I highly recommend you guys get telegram and parlor.
Telegram is clunky, but it seems more newsy, and Parler seems a little more fun.
It's got a little more Instagram-iness.
Chew it.
But yeah, that's my problem.
I like Charlie Kirk.
I like that he's out there in schools mocking political correctness.
But his immigration stances, at least in the past, have been absolutely fucking ridiculous.
We do not want 50 million people here.
And I don't know if we need... How about if we're going to get refugees?
We start with bona fide refugees like the white farmers in South Africa and the Christians in Northern Iraq that are getting killed.
Remember Ezra Levant had that Bible from the church where Muslims had gone in and just shot up the church and there was a Bible with a bullet hole?
And I'm so vain and lame, the first thing I thought when he showed me that was, could I have that?
Like, we have what?
How many Christians are killed every year?
I think it's 90,000.
So what is 90,000?
What's 90,000 divided by 365?
90,000.
What's 90,000 divided by 365?
How many thousand?
90,000.
You just put in 9-0-0-0-0.
Thanks, Bronx.
Great public schools.
It's right next to them.
Yeah, it is, I guess.
What is taking you so fucking long?
Uh, 1,384.
A day.
.615.
A day.
That's pretty nuts.
So almost 1,500 Christians are killed a day.
Let's get them in here.
If we're going to take some people.
Wait, wait, wait.
It's less than that.
It's 246.
Yeah, that makes a little more sense.
What was your first mistake?
Uh, the three was absent.
So you had divided by 65?
I did.
God, you're fucking useless.
Oh look, we're already out of time.
We've barely begun the show.
This is a two-hour show.
We're only halfway... We're only half an hour into a two-hour show.
We're a quarter of the way in.
I can't believe we're not talking about Bubba and Hanks.
They sent me meat today.
Huh.
Did a dude respond?
Did you text him at all?
I did.
Let's see if dude said anything.
Dude said anything.
All right, well, let's not bore the viewers with that.
No Bubba until later, but free plugs are always nice if they send you stuff.
I sent you a picture of my meat in my freezer.
Oh, yes.
I just got a shipment of Bubba and Hank's.
Sure did.
You got that picture?
I do.
By the way, this is an inside look into my freezer.
I hope there's nothing embarrassing in there.
You're doxxed.
Pastry pups, what the hell are those?
God, my wife is such a hoarder.
I tried to marry a whore, I ended up with a hoarder.
I'm shocked that we were able to fit that meat in the freezer.
Every drawer in my house, you can't open it because there's just crap coming out of it.
We've had that same fight about packed drawers and overstuffed things since we met.
Whatever fight you have with your wife in the first year, just cryogenically freeze that, because you're going to be regurgitating it for the rest of your life.
That exact same, exactly the same fight.
I'll go to open a drawer, and there'll be like some fucking pile of markers, and I'll go, GOD DAMMIT!
And I'll go, WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHIT IN THIS DRAWER?!
And that includes freezer drawers.
But let me see that meat again.
Freezer drawers.
Yeah, zoom in on the meat.
All right.
Not the pastry pups or the fried rice.
God, it's hot as balls in here.
Hot as holes.
Hey, I think we should do a commercial.
If I come over one day, we eat some, we show some of the grilling and then show some of the eating.
We make a Bubba Hank commercial.
Let's take these ads by the balls.
Okay.
Well, speaking of commercials, I made a commercial with you already today.
For what?
For the song, Wake Up Little Susie.
I came by Ryan's apartment.
We don't obviously don't do anything in the day when we do these night shows.
And at around I think 6pm, this is what Ryan was doing.
I don't like this song.
Wake up, little Susie, wake up.
Jam, jam, jam, jam.
Wake up, little Susie, wake up.
Jam, jam, jam, jam.
You're gonna forever regret giving me keys to your apartment.
That was the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Well it helps sometimes, but sometimes it really hurts.
Can you just tell us about your insane sleep schedule?
Why were you asleep?
I sleep after I eat a little too much.
Or if I'm feeling a little limesy, sometimes I can't explain why I'm tired.
Why haven't you gotten a blood test after you did your antibiotics?
I just haven't had the time to do all that.
That's such bullshit!
I don't want to.
Not yet.
Why?
Because I'm just not worried about it too much.
I just take my little naps, I get my work done, and that's what I do.
Ryan's been blowing his money.
He's been watching YouTube videos on Savile Row, where British billionaires have their suits custom made for thousands of pounds.
Yeah.
And he's been watching Taylor videos.
He's been buying shoes.
He's got, how much are those fucking shoes?
195.
These will last a lifetime.
$200 shoes.
Then he spends another 50 bucks on shoe shining equipment.
That was 50 bucks, yeah.
It's not bad.
It'll last me forever.
No one buys shoe-shining equipment, you fuckin' tard.
When you're at Grand Central, you pay for a shoe shine maybe twice a year.
Eight dollars apiece.
Yeah, no.
No one shines their own shoes anymore.
So, in five shoe shines, you get your money's worth.
All right, we're done talking about coronavirus, right?
And we're done talking about politics.
Oh, and we're done with the free part of the show, so I would just like to remind you to go to JACBD.com, Johnny Appleseed, the number one sponsor of the show.
They've been with us since day one, and we use the topicals, we use the ointment for sore muscles.
Everyone at my gym loves it.
Um, we use the tincture in our coffee to take the edge off.
You know when you're having that second cup because you're hungover or something, but it gives you sort of like the sketchies?
Well, you put the tincture in.
Uh, Ryan's trying to show you that now.
And, uh, that makes you feel better.
And then, um, the edibles are great around nappy time.
They don't make you tired, though.
They just sort of even you out.
So please use a promo code Gavin, get 20% off all orders, free shipping, when you go to johnnyapple.com.
We are now ending the free portion of the show.
Not a very good show, I would say, so far.
Yeah, we're holding back for these F's.
I mean, the problem with YouTube is we can't play music, we can't show you movies.
This show is usually a lot more exciting.
We might not even put this on YouTube.
Oh, snap.
Yeah, you heard me.
I think we need to for the ads.
Oh, yeah.
All right, I'm gonna slip into a string vest, and then we're going to continue to shoot the shit.
I want to talk about I Am Jazz, the show about that tranny kid, which is the darkest shit I've ever seen.
And, um... And, yeah, we're gonna continue to go through funny news stories, and then we're gonna take calls.
So get fired.
So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, And never stop fighting.