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March 17, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:25:45
S02E138 - ST. PADDY'S DAY [2020-03-17 - S02E138 - ST. PADDY'S DAY]
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Time Text
Is that a song garnished?
Far away!
No, I believe that's built in.
Yeah, that's part of the chorus.
It reoccurs.
I just realized, by the way, watching the news, if you stocked up on toilet paper, you have a low IQ.
It's a good indicator.
They're getting more toilet paper.
They're getting more paper towels.
They're getting their supply shipped to them.
No one's saying no trucks are allowed to ship products to stores.
This shelves will be filled again in three days.
You can't fucking go three days.
Anyway, we're not talking about coronavirus anymore.
Okay, we will a little bit.
But I played that song because it's fucking Saint Patty's Day.
I fucking almost forgot.
And we promised a viewer many, many moons ago that we would devote this entire episode.
Actually, I think we said we'd devote it to saints in general.
That does ring a bell, yeah.
I don't have time to do that.
Poop.
Everybody's canceling their parades.
Boston canceled the parade.
New York canceled the parade.
They've never canceled it before in 225 years, I believe.
Who else canceled their parade?
Chicago, they still did the Green River thing.
They did the Green River thing because it's not a human thing.
It's not a human thing.
It's particularly painful for me to wear this shirt, by the way, because Breezy Point rejected me.
But it's the most Irish shirt I have, so I put it on.
Ryan's also has an Irish look.
He's got the Champs shirt.
Champs is closed.
Boxing is done.
USA Boxing is shut down.
And I've been very flippant about all this, and I will remain so until it's serious.
Ew, it's serious now, Gavin.
Two people are dead.
But I was in the bar yesterday, as is my want, after a hard day's work.
And they go, yeah, we made a bunch of corned beef and you can come by and get it tomorrow with takeout, but you can't sit at the bar as of 8 p.m. tonight.
And I went, yeah, let's shut down the bars.
And he goes, I'm serious.
All the bars in the tri-state area.
So that's all of Connecticut, all of New York State, and all of New Jersey.
Okay, they're all shutting down.
But you're going to stay open, right?
We can't.
It's illegal.
The fire marshal was just here.
Right?
And then this other bar I go to, I said, you got a back door.
Let's make a speakeasy.
And they went.
And then they did what I was doing where they go, yeah.
And I go, yeah, we'll just.
There's only, you only have about 15 regulars that come in here that you really care about.
So you lose your drifters.
And then when the cops show up, we all go into the bathroom.
That's cool.
And then they go, Gaddy's really dragging out this joke.
I'm not kidding.
Grow some fucking balls.
Yeah.
It's a fucking good deal.
Come on.
Bartender.
Make them Mikey.
Come on.
Dude, fucking call Mikey.
Just go somewhere else.
And the other bar I go to, the other two, they have big windows.
Actually, out of my four favorite bars, three of them have gigantic windows.
So you can't really cheat.
But one of them doesn't.
But he wouldn't say yes.
I thought it was a good deal.
And then I was so pissed at myself because I brought a bar.
Remember the bar I used to have on the set of After Hours?
I bought that bar from CRTV and I had it shipped from DC to my home in New York.
And then my wife broke my balls and said, you're never going to use it.
This is our TV room.
This is our little home theater room.
You're not going to build a bar down here.
Plus, I want to move soon.
And I went, oh, okay.
Why did I listen to her?
I should have made me see yes.
Mikey!
Fuck.
We have another, we could have put it upstairs, the TV room.
And I could have bought a fucking insane TV.
If you spend $3,000 on a TV, it's bigger than your home.
You wouldn't believe.
And the ones that we use here at the studio, these cost me, I think, less than $100 each.
And I remember in 2005, if you had a flat screen, you were fucking balling.
Anyway.
Balling.
What?
No, that's not.
Oh, you know what?
That's worth showing, though.
Okay, that's...
Oh, yeah.
She was just on the CR-TV or The Blaze.
She's not videogenic.
Oh, you're saying she looks better in Blackboard?
Yes.
She's an 8.8 in that interview, but she's actually a 9.1 in real life.
So much so that I was, in that interview you just showed, I was really proud of myself because I managed to focus the entire time and remember all my questions.
And I was like, I'm kind of a feminist.
Feminist.
Wow.
Yeah, because I didn't just start humping her leg.
That's how Hot she is.
You are impressed with yourself for not humping her leg.
Yeah, she doesn't look that hot.
That picture, no.
That picture is asshole.
God, that is so good.
Hey, Mr. Trump, China is asshole.
China is asshole.
China is asshole.
Yeah, that's the funny part, is it?
His lips curl in.
China is asshole.
Donald Trump don't trust China.
China is asshole.
Ho.
China is ass-ho.
Maybe because in Mandarin, there's four tones.
So you have to be really careful about the tone you use, and they assume it's the same with English.
So when they say asshole, they don't just go asshole.
They're like, ass-hole.
Anyway, that bar, there it is.
I own that bar now.
And you want to know something really stupid about it?
What's it?
It comes up to here.
Bars are supposed to come up to your belly button.
And the reason it worked on the show is the carpenters built me a platform.
So it was kind of a dumb investment.
Anyway, sorry, lots of chatting.
We almost chose that as the song, by the way, China is As Ho.
Didn't you find a cool remix of that?
There's a remix.
They say cellar door is the nicest thing you can say in English.
It's when English is at its most pleasing.
I think there's something magical about China is ass-ho.
Don't trust China.
What?
Why don't these guys have the Medal of Honor?
The Nobel Peace Friars.
Do they just call him LeBron James?
Apple, Disney.
You know they arrested three possible Chinese spies a couple days ago?
Oh, really?
One was from Harvard, and he was paid $1.5 million plus given $150,000 to give expenses and things like that.
And yeah, that's three.
They got three of them.
One of them was trying to smuggle biological material back to China.
The other one that worked for Harvard also was on the board for some China shit and like lied.
They all lied about being involved and a little spooky.
Didn't really hit mainstream media, but they had a press conference from the White House.
Everyone's scared of China, especially in Australia.
Why don't we hear more news about how much China sucks?
And this epidemic, this pandemic is...
It's China's fault.
Kung flew.
They knew about this for months.
They silenced the whistleblowers.
They murdered people who were trying to help.
They got doctors fired and they didn't quarantine for months and months and months.
What a bunch of fucking dish rags.
China is asshole.
China is asshole.
The other great pogue song that we almost selected for St. Patrick's Day was Gentleman's Soldier.
You know that jam?
We played on the show before.
It's about a man who porks some broad in a soldier's cloak.
No.
You know the thing you stand in at Buckingham Palace?
The little box.
Oh, gentleman's box or something.
Turn it up.
He also has the rat-a-tat-tat.
That's the gentleman's soldier.
And then he does the woman's voice too, terribly.
Sentry bones.
when he gets her pregnant.
And then she wants you to marry him, and he said, three wives are allowed in the army, but one's too many for me.
Makes a bastard child.
And then the last poke song I want you to listen to today, while you're drinking with your pals, not going to the parade, is a man you don't meet every day.
I have this friend, she's actually my wife's friend, and she's so paranoid about having her jewelry stolen that she carries around this little plush velvet pouch with her watch and her diamonds or whatever.
And it always makes me think of this song because he...
I'm a man you don't meet every day.
Meet every day.
How can you not get drunk?
I could get drunk just from this song.
Mikey!
Eee!
So be easy on the free I've never been to Ireland.
Isn't that strange?
That does strike me as well.
My father's half is Irish, of dubious persuasions.
McGinnis was our real name.
But I've never checked it out.
And I'd love to.
Ireland.
That was another.
Bar owner Jack.
Had to say goodbye to him last night.
I won't see him for two weeks.
Going to the pub after work has been a tradition that I've been doing for 100 years.
It's what I do.
It's my little break.
You know how people go for a walk?
I go for a pint.
And that's taken away from me now?
What?
Why?
I hate this fucking shit.
See, it gets you.
*laughs*
You did not get that at first, but it's perfect.
Sometimes it kind of.
Anyway, speaking of pubs, bartender Maddie Odell just finished his anger management course.
And as I told you, it's just a game where someone has to torment someone.
We have all these government programs.
We have all this money.
What do we do with it?
Abuse people.
Yeah, they don't take abuse.
What if they have to take the abuse or they go to jail?
Okay, get them.
So they put these people into these fucking ridiculous courses that were done by Dr. Gregory L. Little and Dr. Kenneth D. Robinson.
Did I put them in the notes?
They're just like, they're not real doctors.
Gregory L. Little is like a sociologist who writes these shitty books about aliens and fucking and ancient man.
He's really into archaeology and stuff.
But if you get caught with guns and you have a handgun in New York, you should listen to this guy and he'll tell you how to be a better person because he worked together with Dr. Kenneth D. Robinson, who was an affirmative action hire, some black dude who I'd love to know what their doctorate was in.
What was your PhD, sir?
He just does these talks.
They both do talks and the talks are always like, being the best you can be.
Thanks, Kenneth Robinson.
I knew he was black when I saw him because only black people would, black people named Ken would call themselves Kenneth.
But you really got to see.
I could do a whole show on this absolute fucking bullshit.
Like graphs of abusive relationships.
One person exerts power and controls other.
Then they have a triangle explaining power and a triangle explaining control.
Like it's all, it's the least scientific shit you've seen.
The battering of loved ones.
A few facts to consider.
Four million are reported battered each year.
He got a gun charge.
And then they make him draw things.
It's very important to draw.
So they show he has to draw real-life behaviors and the choices he made and what could have been.
Instead of being in prison, he could have been in a house.
They also make him draw, I marked these pages, they make him draw pictures of things that he loves.
And he goes, I guess I love my son.
Okay, draw him.
Oh, look at this one.
When I get angry.
You can't draw, by the way.
No, I think they saw it.
Okay.
So I was yelling at my son, you need to work.
And he said, I don't want to work.
And he could have been working in construction or something, but he won't take the job.
And that makes me so mad.
I go, rah!
What the fuck?
Someone has to, like, they pay, if they make good money, they'll pay like 50 to 100 bucks to be in this class.
Each time?
Yeah.
Sheesh.
Where do you take the time out?
Not in this same place.
How long does it last?
30 minutes.
What do you do during it?
I breathe.
I think.
I reconsider.
This is all lies, of course.
You're just saying this shit so you can get the little fucking stupid form.
But here's one that really, this part really disturbed me.
There was just this thing called A True Story.
And it's about a guy who was pulled over for, I don't know, a broken taillight or some shit.
And he remained calm.
Look at this.
More pictures you have to draw.
They treat them like children.
And he remained calm.
Look at this.
No, no, no, don't worry about it.
That's a really good fucking car.
Okay.
I guess we didn't see it that well.
A psychologist friend once told us how one of his beliefs almost got him killed about 25 years ago.
He was driving home late one night on the expressway when a car suddenly passed him and pulled right in front of him.
This ticked him off, and he immediately felt that the other driver did it to him deliberately.
So the psychologist reacted by speeding up and tailgating the other guy.
When the other driver spotted him in his rearview mirror, he, well, to say this gently, extended an unfriendly finger at the psychologist and held it there.
Like, what the fuck am I reading?
This is just someone told a story to these two doctors and they clearly have to fill the book.
So they're just like, why don't you put in that story about the guy with the thing?
And then we'll have someone draw like a black dude looking at a car.
Anyway, when our friend opened his car door, the other driver pulled out a gun and aimed it at him.
Instantly realizing the very serious problem he was now facing, the psychologist wisely jammed his car into reverse, driving backward as fast as he could.
After a few moments, he looked forward and with great relief saw the other car slowly pulling away.
You see that?
This is science.
Someone was getting into a road rage fight with someone else and they almost got shot.
So don't get into road rage and don't have a handgun.
Anyway, the reason I bring that up is to just show you that we have a real problem in our society with the way we treat prisoners.
We put men in cages for bullshit charges like drugs and firearm possession.
Crimes that in another state are totally fine.
Or some drugs you can sell, some drugs you can't sell.
Mind your own fucking business, government.
And now the government has taken my pubs away.
Anyway, so St. Patrick, we promised we'd dedicate some time to him.
What was his real name?
I wrote it down.
Maiden Sukat.
And he was a slave.
We should talk about, you know what we should do for Black History Month?
Talk about slavery and then only talk about famous white slaves.
Like, I think there was a serf rebellion in Britain with this guy, William Tell, I believe his name was.
And he led a slave rebellion.
So you would show up at like a Black Lives Matter thing with a big William Tell banner saying, liberate the slaves.
Yay.
Is that the guy?
William Tell Slave Rebellion.
I don't know if that's him.
I shouldn't.
But so St. Patrick was a slave.
And I'm going to try to make learning cool.
That's something we do on this show.
So let me rephrase that.
St. Patrick was a fucking slave.
And he was like, this sucks, man.
So he was actually a British guy, but he was bought by some pagan druid dude, and he was forced to be a slave in Ireland.
Of course, we've really evolved from slavery, haven't we?
Making fucking ex-cons draw pictures of their sons or they go back into the cage.
He's literally being held at gunpoint and told to draw pictures of his son.
But anyway.
And he said he had a premonition, a vision, and an angel came to him and said, you are too good for this.
You need to escape.
Now, I'm very metaphorical with these religious tales.
So, I mean, it could have been a vision that was very sharp, and he saw like an angel with his own, that looked like it was right there.
Or it could also have been sort of a metaphorical, like, I felt a calling.
I felt like I was too good for this.
And he, sorry, I think he tried to escape, then he was imprisoned.
Is that it?
Let me see.
May win with a W. Sukkat.
Anyway, he eventually escaped.
He escaped prison.
He escaped slavery.
He went back to Britain.
But when he was in jail, the worst history teacher in the world.
When he was in jail, he studied the Bible and became Christian from being a nothing, an atheist.
And he went back to Britain after escaping.
I think he escaped jail a bunch of times.
And then he became a bishop.
This is drunk history.
And then he went back to Ireland with his newfound authority and started converting all the pagans to Christianity, which is really the story of the West.
I mean, look at Christmas.
Jesus wasn't born on December 25th.
That's what the pagans were doing.
They were worshiping the sun god, and that's the shortest day of the year.
So we just said, all right, pagans, come on board.
We'll make Jesus' birthday your big day.
They go, okay, well, we still get to celebrate that day.
Or we turned Halloween, which predates Christianity by thousands of years.
We turned that into All Saints' Day.
And yeah, you can do your dead shit, but then the next day we have to go look at saints.
Okay.
And that's good because paganism was a matriarchy.
You know what happens when women are in control?
You know how they talk about we need a woman president.
We need women in charge?
We tried that.
We tried that with pagans.
And you know what happened?
Babies got sacrificed.
Virgins were sacrificed to the fucking gods.
I don't want my baby taken from me and thrown in a fucking giant fire pit to appease some god.
So he essentially civilized the pagan world and he made Ireland Catholic.
And he was arrested for it and jailed and he escaped every time.
He's a real good escape artist.
No one talks about St. Patrick's escaping skills.
Maybe he just, maybe he was a fucking brawler and he would just beat the shit out of everyone to escape.
And he felt bad.
He found Christianity.
Yeah, maybe he was like Conor McGregor.
He was just an excellent fighter.
He actually, when he was touring, I think he toured Ireland for 30 years and he went to go meet his old slave owner and pay him back.
Say, here, I want to buy my freedom off of you.
But the thought of that was so horrible that the slave owner burnt himself alive in his mansion because he didn't want to have to give St. Patrick the victory.
He said that was his first quest to go.
But I like how we're always seen as these horrible people for colonizing and converting people to Christianity.
It tends to do them well, I'm afraid.
Like, you look at these Aboriginal tribes in Papua New Guinea that were untouched by man.
You know, the ones with the bones and the funny bowl cuts and the spears.
And then they discover Christianity, and yes, they start being modest and hiding themselves.
But they also stop like eating their brothers.
These beautiful untouched tribes are fucking cannibals.
And they fuck kids.
We teach them not to.
Christianity liberates them from that.
Also, they always say that he drove the snakes out.
There was never snakes in Ireland.
They couldn't get to it.
They'd have to be born there.
They could get to Britain because it used to be connected.
All right.
Did I do enough?
St. Patrick's shit?
I think so, lad.
That'll do.
We got it.
Oh, my name is Chuck Stortamakani.
My friend Sarah played that at her wedding when she came out.
Like, that was her.
Here comes the bride.
It's fucking awesome.
What about Billy Bragg, Levi Stubbs, tears?
No, that's an English guy.
This is St. Patrick's Day.
So, I don't know why you would ever suggest something so retarded.
It's in the notes.
I wanted to talk about a couple things, but this video Millennial Millie put out.
She's an Infowars chick.
I think she has her own shit now.
Why are right-wing people so nomadic?
Yeah.
Like, Ezra couldn't keep Lauren Southern, me, who else?
Faith Goldie.
Tommy?
Tommy Robinson.
That's four.
He lost.
Laura?
And Jack Pesobix, oh, is it a new thing?
Laura Loomer.
Avi Yamini, he's kind of on his own.
Oh, Laura Loomer was with Rebel too, wasn't she?
Yeah.
Is Avi Yamini still with Tommy Robinson?
And then Tommy Robinson is at Infowars and then Millie seems to be on her own here, Modern Millie.
Anyway, go back to the beginning.
That's just an interesting part.
I would have time stamped it.
This is Millie Weaver.
We are here in Jefferson, Missouri, where at the Capitol, a law is going to be heard which will allow parental consent boards to decide whether or not they want to allow drag queen story hours at their public libraries.
Now, we've talked about this before.
A. Kids aren't being bullied for being gay, so you don't have to normalize gayness to them.
They don't give a shit.
And B, you've chosen the weirdest possible gays.
Drag queens, I remember drag queens.
We used to go to gay bars all the time to pick up girls because fag hags tend to be sluts.
There's trannies and there's drag queens.
And they mix quite a bit.
But one thing I remember about drag queens and trannies is they were fucking violent because I guess they had to fight a lot and they dated drug dealers and thugs.
So they're always taking their shoes off and finding they were good fighters too.
A drag queen will throw you through a window.
Wait, stop.
Pause this.
But everyone avoided them.
Like you'd see trannies dancing at a rave thing.
It was called the black and blue in Montreal.
And they'd like be puking and slipping and falling in their puke.
And it was just like, whoa.
Those are like the fucking scary junkies of the scene.
They're all doing meth and fucking for three days straight.
That's why they're dying.
It's not hate that's killing them.
It's meth.
They're fucking each other to death, literally.
So as Millie points out in this video, why are you choosing like the weirdest gay shit to represent gays?
It's under the guise of preventing bullying, but you'd have to be a complete fucking retard to believe that.
It's about normalizing homosexuality and encouraging more homosexuals.
And by the way, at its most sinister, it potentially could be grooming.
Yeah.
It's the most appealing to kids because it's colorful and cartoonish.
Right.
And if I can make kids totally comfortable with this, maybe I can fuck them.
Yeah, they like kids a little too much.
Girl, yes.
Why do you care about kids?
Yeah, they're tremendously boring.
It's like when I see someone that's a coach and their kid isn't on the team, I'm like, what are you coaching this team for?
Oh, I see.
Or Boy Scout leaders.
Why would you be a Boy Scout leader if you didn't have kids?
And even then, if your kids weren't at the thing.
Wait, pause.
That was crazy.
I offered, by the way, to coach kids boxing because my son goes.
And he goes, okay, so it's Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
And I was like, oh, no.
Just my kids, sesh.
And he goes, well, we do two three times a week.
That's six.
You're doing one-sixth of the work?
And I was like, yeah, that's all.
I don't want to get involved in other people's kids.
Yeah, that's too much.
I don't have time for that.
He's like, well, then you're of no use to me, sir.
Moron?
Drag protests.
I have to add a disclaimer.
In no way is the video you're about to see anti-LGBTQ and meant to attack their community.
This is merely a way to ask a valid question, which is, why are children being exposed to an adult sexualized lifestyle?
The sisters of Premier.
Whoa, whoa, go back.
We want your kids?
What does that whole sign say?
...and meant to attack their community.
This is merely a way to ask a valid question, which is...
What a dude?
We want your kids.
That's all it says.
The rest of it's cut off.
Thank you, Ryan.
I own eyeballs, and they're installed.
Just in case you thought it was zoomed in.
No, it is.
It's crossed.
Sisters of perpetual indulgence defy all expectation with their unapologetic brand of humor.
Our appearances as canvases.
Sister vicious power hungry bitch.
Like, I, yeah, and also, drag queens, like, they are, it's a super extreme, horny, sex thing.
Now, I have my own theory about them.
I think it's very weird to be gay.
I mean, technically, it is weird, right?
So it must haunt you constantly to see women with working genitalia where the penis goes in the vagina and you're like, I get it in my butt.
It fucking hurts.
And my anus looks like a baby yawning.
I wish I could have all the parts and look like a lady.
Like they seem to have it together.
And then they get mad at themselves.
And they go, stop thinking about that all the time.
And then they go, I'm going to make fun of my own compulsion to be a woman.
So then they're like, I'm a lady.
And they do this comical exaggeration, which is essentially a Sambo thing.
I don't know why feminists are okay with drag queens, but not okay with Sambos.
You're exaggerating females, female characteristics.
You're lampooning female characteristics.
It's one of the oldest Sambos.
It is the Odist Simbo.
Didn't the guy make us a shirt of that?
Maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
No, he made us a shirt.
I sent it to you yesterday, and it's a drummer, and it's like a Zildjian symbols kind of a thing, but they're called Odest, and it's a type of symbo you can get on a drum kit.
Now you're just going through every single letter ever?
Yeah, there it is.
Oh, okay.
That's amazing.
Show that.
Odess symbos.
That is unbelievable.
Maybe we should make a sticker of that.
Look at his little arms.
Bless you, sir.
Oh, this is the shirt.
So yeah, come on.
Like, here's how you, here's how the only argument you could make for this would be to have a gay like Chadwick Moore go up there, read a story.
Hey, kids, and then the clock struck 10.
And then later, the teacher said, you know that guy who read to you?
Yeah?
He was gay.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Gays are normal people.
Oh, shit.
Thanks for the heads up.
Is this telling you that gays are normal people?
Sister Mary Peter.
And they always have sex names.
They're the fucking disgusting drug addict whores of the gay community.
And conservative gays are freaked out by them.
Even normal gays have often said to me, I don't like drag queens.
I don't get it.
Like when they go on stage, they're just lip-syncing a song.
It's not a talent.
The song is playing and they're just like, they're just fucking drunk whores.
That's what they are.
They're like club kids.
It's not every day you see a man in a nun's habit with clown makeup on.
Hey, what are you guys out here for?
Who are you?
I'm Millie.
Nice to meet you.
Millie from Millennium Millie on YouTube.
Just pause.
You know why she's doing that?
You know why liberals always do that?
They go, who are you?
Who are you with?
Because when they report on us, they always frame us.
Like CBS just tried to frame Nick Fuentes for this, the extremist next door feature.
And he said, when they asked if he'd be interested in doing an interview, he said, fuck you, parasite.
Real nice.
Yeah.
And then they even included that in their piece.
This is how they talk to us sweet reporters in their hit piece where they called everyone right of fucking me, a full-blown white nationalist Nazi.
So they assume that we do the same shit to them.
That's why the left talks about how unsafe they'll be and how violent we are and how we don't want trans people to exist.
You ever heard that?
And you go, what?
I don't want to kill trans people.
I don't have time.
I'm not interested.
I don't need to murder anyone.
The reason they talk like that is because they want us dead.
And we saw that with the Bernie bros that James O'Keefe lampooned, who were talking unflinchingly about gulags, about sending us on gulags and re-education camps to learn how to not be a fucking Nazi.
See, they make learning cool.
They add the F word.
Are you guys out here for the affiliate?
Are you a Fred Armison character?
What affiliation are you with?
I'm Millennial Miller.
Yeah, I'm just asking what you guys are doing out here.
I do have a press pass.
Okay, can I see it?
I don't have it on me at the moment.
That sucks.
We're out here in the public.
We need a press pass.
I understand that.
So why are you guys out here protesting for the drag queen story time?
We're not protesting.
We're not protesters.
Okay.
Check out our Facebook page.
Why is you thinking called drag queen protesting?
At home.
What are you guys doing?
You know what?
If you don't know, you're not much of a journalist.
So why don't you find your press pass, bring it back and share it with her?
Well, it said that there was going to be a drag protest today.
It was going to be to protect drag queen story time.
Okay.
I have no idea who you are.
Other than, you know.
Oh, this is so weird.
Watch out.
Goodbye.
Oh, excuse you.
Watch out.
God.
Oh, excuse you.
Watch out.
God.
Should she just listen to me?
Is that the weirdest gesture ever?
They keep doing this in the video.
Like, do you want to fight?
We can fight.
But just touching my shoulder with your shoulder in a not remotely painful way, that's almost affection.
Yeah.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, it's like a side hug.
I'm sorry I tripped her.
I'm sorry.
Excuse you.
Watch how.
I'm just trying to move this.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.
This is not the first time I've seen people do that before.
So I'm like really tired.
So do you guys think that it's okay for there to be a story?
You got so weak and passive-aggressive.
This is how women fight.
They pretend they trip.
Oh, by the way, just pause.
I've been getting crazy notifications from YouTube today.
I think they're going to shut me down.
I got about five notifications from four in the morning to six in the morning or something.
And I sent you those.
Oh, the screenshots, yep.
And one of them was like, who told women they could fight or something?
All normal shit.
It's dangerous to minors.
So I now have one strike of three.
Sex and nudity policy.
You know what the sex is?
I don't know what volcano vaporizer.
That's when I inhaled pot out of a vaporizer.
I don't remember what that was, but there was no, I've never, I don't put sex on.
But one of the ones that got shut down was, I bet my brother $100 he wouldn't go into a river in the middle of December.
All right.
Nude.
So he's covering his dick, but for a second, you can see his butt as he goes into the water.
Yeah, that's real sexual.
So my days are numbered here.
Look at this.
Pouring in.
You know, there's, I know why, Stix Hexenhammer actually covered it, but they put out a tweet, which is as follows.
As COVID-19 evolves, we're doing our best to support those who watch, create, and make a living on YouTube.
Many of us here and extended workforce are unable to work as usual, so we're reducing staff in order to certain offices, in certain offices, causing some disruptions.
Then they say this.
With fewer people to review content, our automated systems will be stepping in to keep YouTube safe.
More videos will be removed more than normal this time during this time, including content that does not violate our community guidelines.
We know this will all be hard for you.
So this is a robot doing this to me?
Yes.
I guess because it had volcano vaporizer and the other one had skinny dip or something?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The one with my brother was called Skinny Dip.
You're not allowed to have miscellaneating titles like 10 Reasons I Hate the Goddamn Motherfucking Jews.
Right.
Even my, when all that shit was happening with my neighbors, they brought that up as an example.
And I go, the title is 10 things I hate about the goddamn motherfucking Jews.
Has it not occurred to you that that might be satirical?
Have you ever seen another title like that before?
Like, is that one of the many articles you've read recently about why Jews are horrible pieces of shit?
No.
You've never heard of that before.
So it's incongruous.
And maybe it's incongruous on purpose?
Perchance?
Anyway, let's get back to Millie and her.
Excuse you?
This protest.
Oh, I love this part.
Stop, stop.
So these dykes, including one gay guy with long hair, assume that when they walk up, because they take pictures of themselves with like pink baseball bats and stuff, going, we're about to fuck you up.
And then their friends go, whoa, I wouldn't want to be around you.
So they actually think that they are Chuck Zito and we're shitting our pants when they show up.
And then she just stands there and they realize, oh, I'm just a fat, ugly dyke.
Look at that.
Bonk.
Were you guys out here for the drive?
Since they're violent, they just bonk you with their shoulders.
Look at her.
They think they're like the guardian angels.
Look at them.
We're security.
What is that?
Why do you think parents are just repositioning themselves?
It's based on the myth that there's gay bashing going on all over the place.
Oh, yeah, you don't think there's gay bashing?
What about Matthew Shepard?
What about Stonewall?
Matthew Shepard was a meth head fag who got in a fight with other meth head fags and their dealer crucified him on a fence and killed him because they were high out of their fucking minds and he owed them money.
It was a drug deal, gone bad, had nothing to do with homosexuality.
And Stonewall, first of all, that was half a century ago, 1969.
And that bar was selling illegal liquor.
The mafia was selling bars liquor, and the local cops were cracking down on it.
And for some reason, gay bars tend to be more lawless than other bars.
They tend to work with the mafia more.
So the mafia focused their fake booze, not their fake booze, but their illegal booze funneling through gay bars.
And so when the cops went to bust it, the gays went bananas and started beating the shit out of everyone.
That had nothing to do with homophobia either.
And it was half a century ago.
So these guys are living in this crazy past.
We see the same shit with racism.
And everyone assumes it's the 1950s and they want to be freedom riders and go coast to coast saying blacks are allowed to eat in diners.
Like that ridiculous, we got to do a green screen of this.
That ridiculous video of disfigured people saying we need the right to walk down the street without being told that we're ugly as shit.
What?
Can you imagine in a million years seeing a disfigured person and going, nice fucking face, you weird freak piece of shit.
Like seeing a guy in a wheelchair.
You can't even walk.
Your legs look like little fucking Muppet legs because the muscles haven't been used.
Hey, nice burn on your face.
Would you burn your face?
Fucking idiot.
I don't even do that with people who are half Japanese.
What, are you tired or something?
Are you stoned?
It's with your weird epicanthic folds.
The symbols.
Here's another total side.
You know Steven, what's his name?
Abracadabra?
Steve Miller.
Steve Miller.
I think he was a Freedom Rider.
Look that up.
Steve Miller, Freedom Rider.
He was going coast to coast in the 50s saying blacks should be able to eat here.
I heard him say that in an interview, and I thought, are you just being metaphorical?
Was it Steve Winwood?
Because he has a song called Freedom Rider.
No.
But talks back.
Maybe he doesn't.
He's so cool, he just doesn't talk about it.
Yeah, we fought a bunch.
No, there you go.
Steve Miller reveals the tales behind his 10 ultimate hits.
I had been a freedom rider in the civil rights campaign, then I got involved with the Vietnam War demonstrations.
Okay.
That's the only kind of anti-racist I take seriously.
Someone who was there when racism was a thing and fought against it.
You got me.
Cool.
You're literally cool.
But everyone else, like these clowns, they think they're freedom riders because they're preventing Millie Weaver, a tiny little 25-year-old girl from asking questions?
That's the song Living in the USA.
Huh.
1968.
He's a really cool guy.
I hate his music.
I love.
I know.
You love everything shitty.
I hate every song you like.
Abracadaba rules.
What was the one you said was really cool the other day?
LaBouche?
Or it's like be my lover.
Yeah.
It's a time and place thing.
I don't like that song.
It popped up in Taco Bell so much.
I hope you die.
It's a memory of you.
I hope you have Lyme.
Because then you'll have crippling pain.
And that's what I want to happen to your musical taste.
I want it to hurt.
My back doesn't hurt as much anymore.
My neck.
I want you to suffer.
Because if you suffer, your musical taste is in your head.
Right.
So your musical taste is suffering.
It's like somehow the enzymes that like those songs, they're being attacked by the Lyme.
Maybe it'll want to get in and hurt you.
I want to pour bleach in your spine.
But to cure it, right?
No.
Not like a fever purges.
There's no interest in helping you.
I want you to suffer.
Like I, your musical taste is so bad that I would like to put a finger, one of your fingers in a vice and just slowly twist until you're like, ow, oh, Jesus.
No, no, that's actually, that actually really hurts.
And then just do like another quarter turn.
That's it?
Yeah, I guess that's fair.
Your finger wouldn't break, but it would be sprained.
You look like Jim Goad.
Me?
Yeah, I just realized now he always does this thing with his mouth.
Oh, yeah, he does.
All right, let's get back to Millie.
Vanilli, another great band?
Because this goes on and on.
Look at that trans dude.
He's like the biggest badass in the gang, but now here in real life, he's a fucking clown.
You're just harassing these peaceful people here.
How do you think parents are harassing him?
Look, this is great.
Look at this.
Deadpool skirt coming up.
Look at him.
Oh, you're going to come and assault me?
Just walks before.
Do you think parents might be just as objective?
He just brushed him with his shoulder.
Like, it happens to us every day on the fucking New York City subways.
Why do you guys believe that parents are objective to us?
Yeah, let's fight.
I'll fight all of you.
You got your Irish up?
I just want to know why do you guys feel like really and truly this is a sincere question.
Why do you feel like that?
He's pretending to be busy.
Why do you guys feel like he stacks the water like that?
Oh, good.
Now the water's higher stacked.
that's more liable to fall over.
This protest looks like a drag.
If Drag Queen's story hour is so perfectly reasonable, why can't anyone defend it?
I mean, do you guys really think it's important to be reading stories to children?
Can I see you, please?
Can I see you?
I don't have a press pass.
Do you have a press pass?
I am a member of the press.
Yes, I am.
I'm a member of the USPA United States Press Sensor.
You don't need a press pass, Dickweed.
Do you have a car?
All of this footage is assaulting me.
Me assaulting you?
Yeah, you assaulting me.
No, all of this is happening.
Me assaulting you?
Yeah, you assaulting me.
No, all of this is happening just because I'm not sure.
Could you dress worse?
Like, if you sat, if someone held a gun to my head and they said, draw the most ridiculous way you could possibly look, I go, oh, please don't shoot, please don't shoot.
What about a balding kind of a fake mohawk that's really thinning at the front?
And like a Deadpool hockey jersey?
Wait a minute, I'm not done.
I'm not done.
And then a red and black striped like go-go skirt, like maybe the 50s chicks would wear.
And then like a weird square pin of, I don't know, Celine Dion.
And then some red sneakers or something.
And then sunglasses and some facial piercings.
And then gigantic pink claw nail extensions.
And then the guy with the gun would go, wow, you're fucking good at this, dude.
And just goes, I am sorry for pointing.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Later.
I'm a dick.
I've met my match.
Oh my God, wait a minute.
Wouldn't that be funny if you carried a gun and you knew you were going to kill yourself and you were just waiting for the right time?
And then you waited for some opportunity like, oh, God damn it, Barbara's here.
If she talks to me, I'm going to fucking lose it.
She's so boring.
And then she sits down next to you and everyone's like, uh-oh, Gavin hates her.
She's like, so today in one of my classes, my students were and I just went, oh, fuck it.
Somebody needs to take jokes literally that far.
You are considering suicide and we don't want you to kill yourself.
There's always a reason to live in.
You child, things are going to get easier.
Things are going to get easier.
However, if there's no hope in Hades of you changing your mind, say you have terminal cancer.
Actually, wait a minute.
If you have terminal cancer, I mean, you want to sit there getting chemo and suffering?
Or would you rather go into Blaze of Glory?
If you're looking for ideas.
You could be a drag or you can make people smile.
I happen to have a pretty good one.
Just carry an illegal gun in your pocket and wait for something like, hey, everyone.
Guess what?
We're having a drag queen story hour in the bar.
And you're like, I'm out.
Or please do not play Super Tramp.
Oh, it's just one song.
I swear to God, you're going to regret it if you play Super Tramp.
Come on.
It's Breakfast in America.
It's a great album.
And then he puts it on.
You just go, fuck you.
Wow.
Holy shit.
That would be funny.
That's sort of like that guy who stole the plane.
That's a hero.
Yes.
And he just wasn't particularly suicidal.
He just thought, I'm going to steal a plane, do some loop-de-loops, and die.
Sky King.
Peace out, guys.
I actually found that profoundly sad.
That is a hero.
Shouldn't have brought reality into this.
Sky King.
No, so go back to Millennial Millie because this is the gift that keeps on giving.
I should have done a whole green screen on it.
It goes on for 25 minutes.
all of this is happening just because I'm asking very basic questions.
You are contributing with your That's like saying strippers are the same as heterosexual women.
We're making them adult entertainers.
They're not an adult entertainers.
They say how they're named Cunt.
They're not going to be adult entertainers.
There are drag queens that do Story Hour.
There are humans that do reporting.
There are humans that do police work.
There are humans that do teaching.
People have different jobs and different roles.
So it's a job.
It's not a person.
It's not a type of person.
It's part of our community and you battling on with hate speech, anti-LGBTQ stuff kills.
Look at the Washington University study.
When you spread this misinformation, the sexualization of our community, because statistically, and research shows...
The sexualization of our...
You're defining yourself by the fact that you fuck in the butt.
And what are they all doing?
They're just tearing apart their own.
No, no, because she was there asking questions, they shut the whole thing down.
Dude, yeah, they're taking away their shitty tape.
They tried beating her up by going, bunk.
That didn't work.
They tried to push the camera down the well.
Well, I've touched, I've rubbed her shoulder twice.
We've rubbed shoulders twice.
She's invincible.
She wins.
She's four.
Statistically and research shows that y'all get turned on by LGBTQ, and that's why you sexualize.
Go look at it.
I don't believe you.
I don't believe your survey.
I'm not going to look it up because I don't give a shit about what you say, but I guarantee you that that myth that people who have a problem with LGBT secretly sexualize them is probably based on like one or two anecdotal cases where the guy was a closeted fag.
And we're very familiar with those, by the way.
But the first part where she says your myths about sexualizing Drag Queen Story Hour, it's not a myth.
And Millie goes on to show it in this video.
It's clearly stated.
And secondly, come on, brain, don't let me down.
I have a looking on you.
You're my best friend.
Why are you going blank when I'm on fucking TV?
Mikey!
Oh, yeah.
Come on, man.
Mikey.
That's how I talk to my brain.
It's a good deal.
Come on.
I'm sweating my balls off in here, brain.
No, secondly, the violence is a myth.
The gay bashing thing is a fucking myth.
You trannies are dating drug dealers.
You're in a violent situation.
You know who else gets killed a lot?
The girlfriends of major drug kingpins.
You're in that world.
Guys, delivery guys in the drug world.
There's a lot of death associated with either drug addiction, drug selling.
Sorry, that's the name of the game.
Or else everyone would do it, right?
Studies.
Facts aren't attacks.
It's not insane.
Facts aren't attacks.
Facts are.
I think they could use this as a way to be victimized too.
Be like, we have to shut our thing down.
Yeah.
So.
By a white nationalist.
White nationalist came to our thing and shut us down.
We're just trying to live.
We're just trying to promote literacy.
What?
How does, by the way, how does reading a kid a story promote literacy?
Right.
I want to read now.
A drag queen write a story once.
It's like a live-action cartoon.
Hey, Mom, I had such a good time at that drag queen story hour.
Can you get me some books?
I want to become a real bookworm now.
And a dress.
Real question.
I'm answering.
Okay, here.
Okay, so you just said that drag queen's absolutely kills.
Blood is on your hands.
Go get therapy.
She means rhetoric.
We haven't had any anti-LGBTQ rhetoric.
We're simply packing up.
And look how hard it is for them to pack up.
They're just folding a plastic sheet and it's like they're fucking curing cancer.
It takes about 10 guys.
Don't ignore the sweet and salty great value Walmart brand.
Hey, we're going to promote drag queen equality and have granola snacks.
Which hasn't she been carrying that around the whole time?
Shaking it around like a tambourine.
Look, they give up.
They're folding it like the American flag after a soldier passed on.
Why should we have drag queen stories?
If you don't want to talk to her, don't talk to her.
You have to shut down your whole thing.
Okay, so skip ahead.
She says, why did we have them with these little, what do you call those kind of kids?
Cherubs?
Yeah, with little cherubs everywhere.
So she asks a few people, what does this guy see?
Hold on a second.
And promoting literacy would be appropriate.
Okay, and promoting that lifestyle, that adult entertainment lifestyle.
Promoting literacy.
It doesn't matter who you are or what you're doing.
But do you think that parents would object to that?
Like, hey, let's have strippers come and have a stripper time story hour?
I think if you're promoting literacy, which is at the heart of it, I don't see where the issue is.
Okay, so would you think that that was okay?
I think anybody that's reading to children, promoting literacy, is okay.
Is she promoting that lifestyle?
I don't think so.
I don't know if that's a problem.
Why are you so worried about literacy?
I assume that you're also going to inner city schools.
That would not go well.
And you're saying, hey, black kids, you need to learn to read more.
This should be a painting.
Look at this.
But we're missing the one thing.
We've barely begun.
We're not going to show the whole thing, but.
Can it be maybe an LGBTQ story hour or a trans story hour?
Why does it need to be an adult entertainment lifestyle story hour?
Unfortunately, your attitude is bad.
You should just be a nice person.
Yeah, yeah.
I am being a nice person, you stupid homophobia.
There they go.
The drag queens go in a school bus.
Notice how, of all places, they chose to hold their drag queen story hour protest in front of these statues.
I mean, you literally have a man that's a centaur classic in front of Western sculpture.
Anyway, go forward a bit.
Because they have an after-party at a bar.
And she starts asking people there.
Really?
Yeah.
In Chicago.
Oh, wait, wait, show this, show this, show this.
They would say the entire name they have.
I've got it on my phone.
Wait, go back a little bit.
That was a really good point.
Usually, drag is a very sexualized adult entertainment show.
There are certain times, like the thing that just hugged him had her tits out.
I saw that, yeah, with pasties.
Yeah.
So what about, and it doesn't have to be associated with that.
It just, it's people expressing themselves.
Do you think adult entertainers with the names Cunty Hornet, Macy some Cox, do you think that people like that should be broadcasting their name and performing in front of little children?
I don't think that they would say the entire name.
They have.
I've got it on video.
Where's the video?
I actually do story time with Drive Queens in Chicago.
Right!
Guys, family programming.
Please welcome to the stage for Cunty Hornet.
It's up to my YouTube channel.
Cunty Horny.
No, it's Hornay, to be fair.
Yeah.
Were you with your kids earlier?
Yeah, yeah.
I get them on weekends, so I took them to see Cunty Horny.
On Millennial Millie.
Okay.
Thank you.
They had little kids performing there, doing drag, taking clothes off.
Not to nakedness, but taking clothes off.
And they also had drag queens.
These people honestly believe that someone's out to kill them because they can't hump in front of little kids.
Why is there a Muslim there?
Her dad's going to beat her.
I mean, do you think that this is appropriate behavior in front of children?
I grew up in the community and I grew up part of the world.
Okay, then that's female logic in a nutshell.
Well, I'm not a mass murderer and I grew up with two lesbian moms.
We're not talking about your lesbian moms.
Go forward to the black guy, though.
Okay.
I think let's eat healthy or not.
Whether that is see something.
Start zapping it around.
That's my child.
But do you really think it's appropriate to be having drag queen perform story times to children?
I grew up in this community from a very young age.
How were you conceived?
Yes.
You think a stripper story hour is appropriate for kids?
We're going in.
You look like your graceler.
I love how filming someone too is this new form of assault.
Like these people.
Remember when we were doing those interviews in DC and this guy comes up and with his camera and just goes like gotcha.
Hey, give my soul back.
Yeah, you want to ask a question?
Okay.
So do you think it would be appropriate?
Just pause.
You fuck Trannies in the butt, basically, is what we're getting from this guy.
Of a stripper story hour.
Adult entertainers.
Why not?
Why not?
I used to work at a strip club.
There were some good people.
So again, me.
Are you putting America first or are you putting you first?
This happened to me.
Therefore, it should be a pattern.
That's my me search.
I've done my me search.
What's your issue with the drag queen story, Aura?
Well, you see, drag queens are adult entertainers.
They typically perform at clubs.
I mean, drag queens will have names like Cunty Hornet, Macy Some Cox, Muffy Fish Basket.
It goes on.
They typically, she is with, yeah, they have all kinds of over-sexualized names.
Do you think that it's appropriate to have adult entertainers exposing their lifestyle to children?
I told you that I actually am on the fence.
So, you know, I'm a supporter.
In other words, I've never thought about it before.
I'm just here to fuck tranny of rights for everybody.
but this is something that personally, um, I'm quite unsure about myself.
Um, I feel that as a, as a black man, as a minority, I don't really have, Oh, First of all, he does his me search with saying I used to work at a strip club.
What?
I don't give a shit.
And now, as a black man, oh, now we all have to step back.
Now there's new authority to what he has to say.
I don't know what it's like to be a black man, so I better just stop criticizing you.
That nose ring is definitely like a, hey, I'm down.
Yeah.
No, he's on the DL.
A lot of leeway to give in terms of anyone losing any right to do anything.
The unfortunate situation.
Anyone losing any right to do anything?
Millie's right.
I don't want people stripping around little kids.
So there's an example.
Do you have one as well, sir?
But check out this unbelievable logic coming up.
And is that in this country, if you give an inch, then a mile is taken, right?
So right now, if the issue is to be able to lawfully ban drag queens, right, it's not a far stretch to say next week we're going to lawfully ban blacks or lawfully ban.
Lawfully bland?
Why?
No one's going to bland blacks.
What is he talking?
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
You absolute 100 percent retard.
I don't want no Negroes reading stories to kids.
Can you imagine how you'd be received if you walked into a story hour?
There's some normal black guy just going, and then the clock struck.
Hey, yes.
Why is a Negro reading to kids?
We banned that.
What the fuck?
What universe?
All of these people are living in a bizarre universe where blacks might be banned tomorrow and gays aren't allowed to exist.
And you have to bully them by going.
Anyway, that's enough of that shit.
I just thought, when I saw him say that, he's still, maybe this is why they don't want to talk to people.
Because they know they're going to be exposed for being fucking boobs.
But I do want to get to that face video.
Where they're claiming that we don't accept them and they can't walk down the street safely.
Because there's a sinister subtext to such malarkey.
Hey, man.
You know when you see a severely disfigured person and you go, ha ha, you fucking bitch.
You shouldn't do that anymore.
Because it's really mean and it hurts their feelings.
So if someone was cursed with a horrible burn or some crippling disease that totally alters their face, don't mess with them and try to hurt them.
Like I assume everyone is doing right now, right?
Isn't that what happens?
When a burn victim walks down the street, everyone points and laughs.
Like this person, everyone goes, ha ha, you were in a severe burn and it affected your face permanently.
You're a bitch.
I don't like you because you were burned really severely.
Hi, hon. If I was you.
I'd kill myself.
Just pause.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is edited too fast.
It's a very short video.
Hi, hon. If I was you, I'd kill myself?
No one has ever said that to that woman.
Nobody at all.
Go a little farther.
Hon. If I was you.
I'd kill myself.
But stop, stop.
Okay, this guy is Mad Magazine.
But before that one, she just has whatever, Propecia.
Like I've known chicks.
The chicken awesome used to hang out with that Propecia.
Jamie.
And sometimes she'd wear a wig and sometimes she wouldn't.
No one gave a shit.
No one went up to a woman who could be a 10 with a wig and went, you should kill yourself.
I would if I was you.
What?
Now, maybe someone wasted out of their minds said something like that when they thought they were just thinking it or something like that.
Maybe there was it.
But that's an accident.
That's a verbal accident.
Now, maybe a kid said something.
Like an 11-year-old yelled something from a car.
You're going to have to develop slightly thicker blotched skin if you're doing infomercials about 11-year-olds yelling mean stuff to you.
This is like when people talk about comments and how they were saying this to me and that to me on YouTube and in the comments section.
In fact, that's in a Macklemore song.
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
Yeah, I've read the YouTube comments from 11-year-olds.
Little tiny children are commenting on YouTube.
And these tweets you talk about where you're being bullied, they're from children.
Okay, no adult is bullying this fucking guy.
This is just a scam to get grant money.
I'd kill myself.
You ugly shit.
He's not even ugly.
He's severely disfigured.
I'm ugly.
Ugly is like when you think you're pretty, but you're off a bit.
That's ugly.
Freddie Mercury is an ugly guy.
But this person, he has a horrible disease where excess skin seems to grow out of his fucking face.
Who is making fun of him?
I assume that this isn't being broadcast to little kids and severely drunk people.
It's broadcast to people like me.
And you're accusing me of calling you ugly and saying you should kill yourself.
Fuck you.
This is insulting.
this is like that commercial where they have two people holding hands and it's their skeletons and then they come out and it's oh my god it's a someone with Down syndrome and their sister, and it says, love knows no boundaries.
And you're like, wait, you're accusing me of saying that retarded kids can't, or kids with Down syndrome, can't be loved by their sibling?
Who the fuck?
Fucking.
Such a shame about that birthmark.
Just pause.
It is a shame about that birthmark.
It takes up half your face.
It could have been here.
You would have been much better off.
You?
You don't look like a woman.
A face only a mother could love.
You don't look like a woman.
No one said that to her.
And it's weird to see bald women.
Sorry.
It's not common.
So maybe someone noticed it?
But no one thinks she's any less of anyone.
A face only a mother could love?
A face only a love bullshit on this.
Absolute bullshit.
No one said to her, you have a face only a mother could love.
Now, if you saw this comment on a video or something, I also call bullshit, or it's a kid.
This video is made for little kids.
Could love.
Who, by the way, would just see this and laugh.
You look like you've been run over by a tank.
That could be said in an endearing way.
Oh my God, that disease.
Can you see okay?
No, not really.
I can only see out this side.
Jesus.
It's almost like you've been run over by a tank.
Looks like you've been run over by a tank.
Two face.
No joke.
I literally just vomited in my mouth.
What is this poor woman doing in this video?
She's like a 5.8.
That's not that bad.
I'm like, without my money and fame, I'm only a six.
So I'm only 0.2 more attractive than her.
And people don't vomit in their mouths when they see me.
Like, I think they're reading the script.
She's reading the line of like the Alfred E. Newman melting man that we just saw.
But no, who's why is she in this?
Oh, her nose is slightly asymmetrical?
Is that why you're a freak?
You don't get to be with the freaks.
If I was a freak, I'd be pissed that she was in here with us.
What's she doing here?
She's a hot 5.8.
Is it contagious?
That's a.
Is that contagious?
He's a good actor.
Did you notice that?
He's got his whole acting thing down.
That's a valid question, by the way.
I see you've got your Halloween costume sorted.
Oh, no.
Someone allegedly made a stupid joke.
Is this the hell you live in every day?
Straight in your face.
No, wait a minute.
You can't.
Bull shit.
Bull shit.
No one says.
Is this like I got to give you tax money now because you made up insults that you got out of a joke book?
Quasimodo.
Freak.
Freddy Kruger.
Ugly.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
He's more attractive than me.
This guy's like, well, without that weird eye, he'd be like an eight.
But because of it, and some chicks might even like it.
So you could argue that it adds points.
But I'm going to say clinically that it yanks him way down to a 7.5.
He's still 1.5 more attractive than me.
And people call the elephant man the elephant man.
The elephant man had cranial dysphlesia.
His whole entire skull was mangled beyond repair.
Elephant man, what a fuck.
How about liar man?
That's what you are.
You're a liar.
I thought elephants never forget.
Monster?
Not true.
You are ugly as every day we get abuse because of how we look.
Shit.
Why do people think that's okay?
They don't.
Nobody does.
Until every person that looks different is free to walk down the street.
Free to walk down the street?
What is this?
The 1400s?
People are throwing fruit at you when you walk.
Freak Quasimodo.
Shade in your face.
Oh no, you can't.
Elephant man.
What universe are these people living in?
Have you ever been outside?
Did you just assume this and you're a homebody?
Post online.
And live without fear.
Ah, join us.
Just pop.
Together.
Did you see what just happened there?
Walk down the street is the Trojan horse.
Post online is what this is about.
This is about the British government gaining more control on what you say.
And they are using this fake hype where people call him the elephant man and saying, I need to control Twitter, YouTube, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, in order to make sure that this severely disfigured man can walk down the street.
He's happy to hand them his face to use for their propaganda, which is disturbing.
And now we can silence someone like Tommy Robinson.
Now, if Tommy Robinson is talking about grooming gangs and Muslim pedophiles and making me as a politician look bad, because I'm the one that invited them in, I can remove that post under the guise of preventing bullying.
This is bullshit.
Bullying shit.
And live without fear.
Live without fear.
Join us.
Shut the fuck up.
Together, we can stop the hate.
The hate.
Changing faces for emotional support.
Right-wing people hate my face.
They call me lip shits.
And they throw things at me.
And I don't feel safe walking down the street.
So please censor right-wing people like Tommy Robinson.
got the hate.
Details.
Daydials.
It's a little bit of a joke.
I have a theory about Shane McGowan.
Who's that?
Lead singer at Pokes?
Yeah, he's not Irish.
I mean, he's Irish like I'm Irish, but I think he's faking his Irish accent.
He's a London boy.
He's a British kid with an Irish background.
And back in the 70s, it was seen as kind of brave to be unashamedly Irish.
Even today, you'll see English people going, I'm actually quite proud of my Irish heritage.
I'm Irish, true and true.
So he got so into it that he started exaggerating what may have been a dormant accent.
I bet he wasn't even born in fucking Ireland.
Look that up.
Let me see.
Born in Ireland.
This is my.
I also have another controversial theory.
I don't think Rosa Parks was black.
I think she was Indian.
And you know what I know?
You know what I'm basing it on?
What?
What she looks like?
There's no kink here.
Even Beyonce, no matter how much money you spend on your weave, you're going to have a kink here.
He was born in Pembury, Kent, UK.
Ah.
Top of the morning to you.
Born in Kent, were we, Shane?
What's with your Irish accent?
It's an affectation.
And all those songs you hear, and sweet Sally MacLennan, it's sort of like, you ever hear...
Yeah, like H.R. for the Bad Brains, who's from fucking DC.
He started doing a Jamaican accent in interviews, and you're like, duh, just because you have dreads doesn't mean your voice changes.
Fucking poser.
Whistling Wait, what were we going to say?
What?
Oh, yeah, Rosa Parks.
Yeah, Rosa Parks.
Crazy theory I have.
So the hairness...
I remember agreeing with you.
Oh, yeah.
Your hair looks like a...
She's like a mulatto.
She's Indian.
She's like a Cherokee or something.
She's Indian, for sure.
Yeah, she's like a Cherokee or something.
But because she had black hair, they went, we can sell this.
Put her hair up, put a hat on her, and then give her some glasses.
And we'll just say she's very light-skinned.
None of her features actually look like she looks Dominican, possibly.
This is what Indians look like.
She's a Native American.
And they're allowed to sit at the front of the bus.
All right.
Let's hit the mailbag.
Ryan, shut up.
You don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
So you're sending me shit to upload to YouTube, but I can't.
Oh, that's right.
What a damn shame.
Okay, I haven't read this yet.
So we're going on a brand new letter.
Hey, faggin.
All right, that's hurtful.
Right off the bat, that's rude.
Not that I have a problem with gays, but you know I'm not gay, so you're trying to say I'm something I'm not.
And you're using a derogatory term for homosexuals, fag.
And you're using it because it sounds like my name, faggin.
Which is terrible and mean.
And ricin.
All right, so now we have an Asian slight at you because Japanese people and Chinese and Asians in general tend to have a lot of rice in their diet.
So that's a stab at you.
This topic probably would have fit in well with your last show on Trap.
If you're interested, have a look at the newly created song from Space 150 Agency.
They used Travis Scott's disography and fed it through an AI algorithm to create this song.
Here it comes.
Sam is the hero next door.
Yeah!
No, that's different, you fuck tard.
What?
It sounds weirdly convincing, which just shows how generic modern music is.
This is in-touch music.
Got it.
A lot of people call you faggot.
I know you're talking trippy on my plane.
I just want your first leg.
I'm back to the shit and feel my pain.
You got a crew on top of my chain.
Wow, that's cool.
So AI made basically all of this?
They say I fucked the back and spike my brain.
I was the bitch on the play.
I know you got blame for that lag in the middle.
That's really cool.
Wow.
Read the topic.
London's burning.
We have a big issue with drill music in London, which is a form of grime.
The police have identified links with drill music and knife vounce in the UK, especially London.
I'm super pro-free speech, but where do we draw the line?
Love y'all.
Yeah, when I was there doing a documentary on grime for vice, they kept saying, they're saying the music's spawning.
It's not bawning.
And then as they were saying that, someone was being stabbed.
But no, we're never going to censor art on the off chance it leads to something dangerous.
You don't draw the line anywhere with art.
As long as there's no laws being broken, like you're torturing children or something.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
So if you're not hurting people, which is just assault, then yeah, all art is on the table.
Gavin, my wife was 37 weeks pregnant when her OBGYN had to have emergency surgery.
Something went wrong and he ended up in the ICU and wouldn't be out for over a month.
His medical partner then took us in, but left a week later to go on vacation.
Fuck.
Tiff was now 38 weeks and a few days.
Now, what is my, I hate when people say weeks.
38 divided by four equals nine and a half months.
We had been praying she goes into labor soon on her own because the last few weeks are vital and we didn't have an OBGYN to do weekly checkups and make sure everything was all right and we know the nurses can deliver if needed.
At 39 weeks and two days, the shirt we had ordered from you guys finally came in the mail after a little delay.
I did a quick wash on it.
Why?
Put it on and within the hour, her water broke and we were good to go.
Your shirts have a special power about them.
Happy St. Patrick's Day from our new baby, Harper.
Let's zoom in on those eyes.
The eyes okay?
Where do we got some crusties there?
That's a very cute baby.
Oh yeah, no, everything's fine.
And there's Uncle Rye and Uncle Gavo.
What a cutie.
Although, is that some little crustaceans on the eyes there?
Yeah, I get some eye crust.
Yeah.
What do you know about fucking babies?
I've seen babies.
Thanks, fella.
Next seven weeks is going to suck, my friend.
The secret to having babies Is to just accept that the first seven weeks are a write-off.
They don't exist.
That letter is too long.
Alex Zambato.
Hey, Gavin, I've come to a revelation recently when a co-worker with a beautiful ass got a standing desk.
This is that these faggy, dumb desks are actually the most kick-ass desks to ever exist.
Perfect, unobstructed view of the cheeks.
Not bad.
Dear Gavin, I would like to submit this gentleman for consideration in the Heroes of Color Hall of Fame.
Have you got that one?
I'm reading these in chronological order.
Yeah, I'm confused because mine are not showing those.
So this is Alex Zambu.
Oh, this was just sent to my personal email.
Damn it.
I was wondering why I can't find some of these.
Guys, send it to mailbag at censored.tv.
I have the Chiron right below.
Okay.
Keeps popping up.
I sent you that letter anyway.
Wait, we already read that one out.
Read that one out.
I got the forward here.
So this is a The submission for Irish.
I like how serious his face is.
That really delivers the joke.
That's perfect for St. Patty's Day, too.
Sure is.
I don't believe he's Irish, though.
Hey, G-Dog, this bitch's nose has its own subcontinent.
I don't know if you've seen this Apple Cuck commercial, but is this a 1.5?
He's got Tarana Burke there.
I think she might be the ugliest woman in the world.
What do you think?
No kidding.
I mean, we're not talking about someone who's a burn victim or whatever, and we want her to feel safe when she walks down the street.
But as far as a normal face that hasn't had some sort of medical condition or acid or fire, I don't think you could be less attractive.
And that's a nice picture of her.
Her skin looks like it's riddled with bullet holes.
She's hideous.
All right, that's enough, mailbag.
We always end every show with a fun video.
And let's watch some people getting abused.
First, I'd like to show you a drunk fight with someone who's clearly never been in a fight before and just sort of understands the concept.
The concept is in his head.
There's fists involved.
There's headbutts involved.
I've never actually tried to do one of these.
So I'm just going to try it out on this guy.
Now, the other guy's probably been a drunk his whole life and he's been in a lot of fights.
So he's wasted out of his mind.
But his dad used to beat him.
What can you call us?
You fucking...
Is the guest guy drunk?
What kind of move is that?
It's like they were doing to Millie Weaver.
Look at this punch.
It's a punch where you just put your fist on his neck and push.
So here, take my hat.
I'm going to try a headbutt.
I've never done these before.
Boom.
Headbutt to the shoulder.
And then that sort of woke him up.
My brothers used to do that to me.
Fuck you.
And you want to know what a headbutt is?
Let me show you.
Stop doing.
That's a headbutt.
You understand?
That's a headbutt.
You have to hit the face.
Get the neck too when you're already done.
Wow.
That was fun.
And then there was.
Denmark is having some trouble with their refugee status.
Or Brussels.
And this was fun to watch.
They keep telling them not to record.
You saw him.
And I'm recording.
Oh, it's not a refugee.
Who saw him?
No, no, he didn't.
No matter what.
He saw it.
Why are there so many black people in Brussels?
Listen, we heard this already.
No, you finished.
Okay.
Listen, if you both finish, you will get in trouble.
They ain't flying.
They're in the air.
This isn't illegal.
This is not against the law.
This is my life.
So she's, I think that's his girlfriend filming because she wants to document how he's being abused.
He just spat on her.
Jesus.
Why can't he disengage?
What's he going to do?
Win?
Disengage.
Don't engage.
There it is.
Don't engage.
All right.
Finally, I would just like to show you, this is a tradition that goes on in Gloucestershire in Britain, where they roll cheese down a hill and then chase the cheese and try to catch it, which they can't because cheese is a wheel and cheese is faster than you.
You have too many appendages.
I don't know why this is just so calming to watch.
Boom.
I don't think guys our age could, my age, could do this.
We'd break our necks.
But that's the age where you're more elastic.
Badoo.
And backwards.
Look at women.
Nice bazoons.
Women shouldn't be doing this.
They're so uncoordinated.
I remember seeing a story about a woman who was killed by a cyclist in Central Park, and I just thought, I'm sorry, but I got a little annoyed because I was like, you can't, like, they fall like this.
They just fall like bonk.
Like, they don't even put their hands down.
How are you bad at falling?
How do you suck at falling down?
Why'd this guy bring his coat?
Ooh, this Asian gets caught in a little butt crack.
He seems to be hamming it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, look at that.
What are you dead?
Oh, look at this guy.
He's really got some hand springs.
This guy hates his neck, you'll find.
Fuck you, Nick.
Wait, he's holding it.
Maybe he's dead.
I'm really going for this guy, though.
You can do it.
No.
Oh, look at that velocity.
Is the goal to not fall?
Is supposed to be to go so fast that you catch the cheese.
But you know what's happening.
This seems like a lot of fun.
Why are people in shorts?
You're going to get road rash.
Yeah, and itchy.
You're going to lose skin.
Look at that guy in his underwear.
Why is this so pleasant to watch?
I don't know.
I feel like I'm looking at a waterfall.
Like, I could watch this for days.
Am I a sadist?
No.
Rolling, rolling, rolling.
It's hard to have sympathy for things that are voluntary and stupid.
Look at that bitch just scraping on her butt.
What a cheater.
All right, I want to see one more dude.
Girls, look at that.
What are you doing?
It's not tobogganing.
No, you're not invited.
There we go.
Let's get some men.
Men know how to do it right.
Oh, look at the Indian go.
There's the cheese laughing its ass off.
Is that really good cheese or something?
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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