All Episodes
Previous Next
Feb. 18, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:09:34
S02E126 - MAILBAG CATCHUP 2 [2020-02-18 - S02E126 - MAILBAG CATCHUP 2]
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
You had a blue jean.
Your eyes couldn't hide.
I saw you leaving that's good music to listen to by yourself, this Mordocoil like a kangaroo staring
out.
You know, when their other big hit is on the floating shapeless ocean.
I mean, if you look up this mortal coil, it'll be the first thing that comes up.
When I rose, song to the sirens.
Songs of the sirens, that's it.
Oh, there's a video.
I fucked this girl, by the way.
That's a leaf.
Oh.
I actually did fuck a swamp once.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
You literally fucked the world.
Yeah, we were tree planting.
Someone said, fuck the world.
And I said, I will fuck the world.
watch this.
And I got a boner and I went over to the swamp and I started.
Oh, All right, let's hear this.
I did all my best in smiles.
What kind of music is this?
Anyways, good band, this Mortal Coil, British Band.
Like Sinead O'Connor in the shower?
I was having sex with Stephanie Alcock was her name, unfortunately.
And I did, this is back when it was like my first or second time, and it wasn't going in.
It was going in between her legs and into the dirt.
And the leaves.
I have fucked a leaf.
And my foreskin had like twigs in it the next day.
So I fucked the world twice.
And she found out that she was on my list of girls that I've done it with, which was not a very big list back then.
And she goes, I want to get my name off that fucking list.
You didn't fuck me.
Have you seen her here?
She must be 50 years old.
It's weird because I'm expecting a punk.
Hmm.
No.
They really mean Timker?
Yes, it is.
I bet I can find her.
Yeah, there she is.
And I saw you walking out in space.
Oh, is this an autofocus?
I don't believe so.
You can bring it to this one.
That's her there.
Oh, you can use this bike.
That's her there.
Red hair, huh?
Pink.
This is back when punk began.
I'm in here somewhere.
There I am.
Oh, yeah.
That's me and the other.
Want to see my graduation photo?
Okay.
Fine, I'll find it.
See.
Look at...
Look at my buddy Paul Toddy.
He made his name Wolfgang Rosenpenis.
Wow.
How do you do that?
Thank you.
Oh, they changed it to Wolfgang Rosenpeter.
He originally wrote Wolfgang Rosen Penis.
There we go.
Is that focused?
I can't believe you make fun of my hair, but it was awesome.
That's cool hair.
Yeah, my hair was awesome, too.
No, no.
Look, I've got the sides are dyed black, and then the top is blonde.
So I just needed a dye dog.
Listen to this.
Where is it now?
This is from Big Kimmy, the girl I lost my virginity to.
Gav, I've really enjoyed our four years together, and I do mean together.
I hope you enjoyed eating my pussy and fucking my brains out.
It was a real fantasy.
Even though you're moving out next year, we're still going to get together because I think I'm addicted to you.
I hope I made your first time memorable for those kinky notes you wrote me.
I'll show them to my grandchildren.
They'll love them.
You're an excellent lay.
Keep the magic in your penis and always keep in touch.
She is a grandmother now.
That's weird.
You know what happened to her?
She decided to pursue a career in crack cocaine.
In Oshawa, Ontario, they would make all the crack for Toronto because the local cops didn't recognize the smell.
You can't make crack in bulk in a big city because cops will suss it out.
But these small-town cops didn't get it.
And so they would make crack in Oshawa, which was a GM town outside of Toronto.
And then, because there's crack everywhere, people started doing crack.
And I think this is, my theory with her is sex is better on crack and speed and stuff.
And I think she was a born nymphomaniac.
And she went to crack because it made her sex better.
Sort of like Indians, like American Indians, First Nations in Canada.
They'll do crack, but I don't think it's for the crack.
It's so they can drink more beer.
But she did crack so she could have more sex.
It's an enhancer for your original vice.
Yeah, and she was so libidinous that she made five kids from like 19 to 24.
Wow.
And then abandoned the whole family, All her children to pursue crack.
Pursue crack.
A career in crack.
Welcome to day two of the catching up on the mailbag.
I hope you don't mind that we're doing two days of mail.
Actually, I don't give a shit what you think.
I think these letters are really good and it's a great way to have variety in a show.
Hit it.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together.
Let me touch it.
Wait a second.
Sorry, I didn't have it prepared here.
It's not very professional of me.
This is from Dennis.
We don't give a damn.
Adam Schiff explained.
Twilight Zone episode from 1962, 4 o'clock.
I judge others.
It's my duty.
What's the time code on that?
The time?
There's no time code.
It's two minutes.
I don't threaten people.
I compile them.
He looks like Adam Schiff.
Investigate them, analyze them.
Then I categorize them and I judge them.
If they're impure and evil, then they must be punished.
If, on the other hand, they're simply misled or naïve or unsophisticated, then I point out to them the right way.
Oh, is that?
Oh, I mean, is that what you're doing?
You know what you should do?
Indeed.
Go to the culture.
Mrs. Chloe Witch.
Culture C-U-L-T-T-T-U-R-E, H-Q.
Go to Culture Instagram right now.
I recently unearthed because that is an interesting Twilight Zone, and it reminded me of what modern journalism has become, which is just tattletale culture.
Tattling.
Not getting the news, not informing people, not discovering things, but just ratting people out.
And the best example of this are these hate watch losers like Andy Campbell at Huffington Post, Will Summer, what's his name?
Christopher Matthias.
All these guys that just like hunt proud boys and are obsessed with proud boys.
Like, why don't you make your own thing and stop worrying about other people?
And if you're against hate, why don't you give a shit about the black Hebrew Israelites or jihadism or homophobia?
And I actually confronted Will Summer at Roger Stone's trial and I said, hey, I'm just curious why you only focus on white people when it comes to hate, especially white males.
Like you don't seem to care about anyone else hating.
And he goes, well, every reporter has their beat, you know?
And I said, no, that's not why, Will.
It's because you're a fucking pussy.
And I said, fucking like, fuck you with my heels on.
Yeah.
I said, it's because you're a fucking pussy.
And he goes, alrighty.
And then he just sort of trotted off like a pussy.
But the culture thing I'm talking about is Jacob Wohl, who's mad woke in a good way, has been accruing evidence that Will Summer is a, nope, that's not it.
Is a spook, a Fed.
Where is it now?
Is it on their story?
No, it's appeared on their doohickey.
So it's not.
Why isn't it appearing there for you?
Is it already delivered?
IGTV, maybe.
No?
No, it's culture.
The culture fucking Instagram.
Yeah, yeah, I'm on there, but there's three different things.
You can go to tagged.
You can go to IGTV, which is their little like.
This is a six-minute thing.
It could be this.
No, it's not that.
Fuck.
I don't understand why it's on my thing and not your thing.
Let me see what it looks like.
Look up Jacob Wohl.
Do you know who that is?
Yeah.
Talking about Will Summer.
Because a lot of these tattletales are more than just tattletales.
They are feds who are sent in to disrupt, disarm Trump.
That's the real beef with Proud Boys, is that they are making Trump look appealing.
And we can't have that.
We have to turn them into Nazis.
I suspect that what you're really asking is is No.
This is annoying.
No.
Why is something appearing on mine and not yours?
And why are people at home?
You know, it reminds me of when Ezra Levant was in Britain covering Tommy Robinson's trial.
And they said, oh, he took a picture of Tommy in the hallway of the old Bailey, the oldest court in the land.
Now, you're not allowed to use your phones in court, and technically, you could argue that using them in...
Oh, I thought this was new or something.
Well, it's pretty new.
It's one, two, three, four, five, six, eight.
What does it look like, though?
This.
Which one?
This!
Oh, the guy's face?
Yeah, because I have nothing to bounce it off of.
Because you don't know who Jacob Wall is because you're incurious.
No, nobody looks like it.
It doesn't really look like that, usually.
Well, why did that take you so long?
I was a media professional who writes hit piece after hit piece about myself, Laura Loomer.
I recently unearthed an article about Will Summer from 2007 called Blogger Unearths Pro-Moroccan Propaganda Campaign.
And it shows Will Summer posted overseas someplace with a tough book, you know, one of those old laptops from 2007, writing blog posts.
You know, Will went to Georgetown, an infamous spook school.
Is it possible that Will Summer is CIA?
Sure looks like it.
I think we need to look a little more deeply.
Is Will Summer a mockingbird CIA asset?
It's not everybody that just goes to Georgetown, lives in D.C., makes a living inexplicably well.
Mysteriously writes about pro-Moroccan propaganda campaigns in 2007.
Are you kidding me?
This guy's a spook.
You guys know our friend Will Summer.
So that's interesting.
That's a funny thing, too.
Like, our side is full of fake fucking plants, like the base.
Oh, hate is on the rise in America.
Look, there's a group called The Base run by a CIA analyst.
Meanwhile, their side is just openly full of hate.
Like Ilhan Omar and Rashid Talib.
We are fucking up against some shit here, boys.
All right, let's lighten the tone.
The fake, this is from Poff, Poi.
The fake face shit, like the Ezra Levant thing, is fucking comedy gold.
Just plan that shit better.
Okay?
Yeah, I like when we have guests on with weird mouths.
Coke and Parkinson's.
Dude, this is the same guy just sending me emails like we're friends.
That's one of the reasons, too, this email clogs up so much because there's people just going, hey man, have you ever tried Diet Pepsi?
It's pretty good.
Hey, my mom's here.
I gotta go.
That's nice.
Dude, are you serious?
I only tried Coke because of how to be a man.
And now you're telling me I'm gonna have Michael J. Fox hands?
You need to gargle a 10-gallon cock if this is true.
Jesus.
I can't handle a 10-gallon ding-dong.
That's not how you measure ding-dong, by the way.
This is from Benny.
I agree with the 95% theory.
It reminded me of a Seinfeld episode in which he says 95% of the population is undateable.
Going out on a blind date?
I'm not worried.
He sounds like he's really good looking.
laughter We going by sound?
What are we, whales?
I think I can tell.
Owen, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?
This is all we need to be given.
25%?
No way.
It's like 4-6%.
It's a 20-to-one shot.
You're way off.
Way off?
Yeah.
Have you been to the Motor Vehicle Bureau?
It's a leper colony, then.
Basically, what you're saying is 95% of the population is undatable.
Undatable!
How are all these people getting together?
Alcohol.
That's funny.
That's the line definitely written by Larry David.
And then he has George Costanza, who is Larry David, look at the guy and go, hmm, yeah, pretty smart guy.
Stand in me agrees.
Boy, Stand in Me is a big fan of my writing.
Yeah, I think we're on to something here.
This is one of the, the 95% thing is one of the oldest symbos in the history of civilization.
I really feel like this 95 thing is a message from God.
Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
Never.
The symbols.
It's never not going to be funny.
It could be a message from God where he says, look, I'm handling it, nature nurture, and I got you 95%.
But if I handled 100%, this would just be a Sims game and you'd be robots.
So I'm giving you five.
Don't fuck up.
And people have done a lot with that five.
It's true.
It's true.
That's true.
This is from David.
Holy fuck, it says.
What did you do that for?
I was trying to do this.
Trying to do this.
That's true.
Let's play a game, Gavin.
I'm going to be Gavin.
You play Ryan.
I say to you, holy fuck, why did you breathe?
You say, I know I kind of took a deep breath there.
Two minutes later, holy fuck, Ryan, never speak when I'm talking about something.
You say, oh, okay.
Two minutes later, I say, Jesus Christ, did you think that was funny?
You say, two minutes later, I say, tabarnak, are you fucking breathing again?
And then I say, yeah, sorry.
This happens a dozen times a show recently.
As a viewer, it's past the point of annoying.
It's not funny.
There's no back and forth.
It's always just you shitting on him.
So with all this being written, shit or get off the pot, Ryan.
Oh, should have got off the pot with Ryan.
That's what he's saying.
Chill out.
Teach him to be better.
Be better.
Or replace his ass.
I still love you more than a friend, but you may simply be friend zone of this.
Can people get our sayings right?
It's, I like you more than a friend.
I love you more than a friend.
It's, I like you more than a friend, and I like your new sunglasses.
Stop saying, I love your new sunglasses.
The guy's a real fool.
You know, he's got a lot to say, but frankly, he's a fool.
But he was defending Ryan.
Do you think I'm too hard on Ryan, Mr. President?
I think Ryan has a lot to learn.
He's a young guy, bright guy.
But, you know, when you make mistakes, somebody's got to call you out.
You know, Nancy Pelosi recently said that you shouldn't have gotten involved in the Roger Stone case.
Shouldn't have even said anything.
Do you agree with that?
She is the wicked witch of the left.
That's what I'm going to call her.
So you don't agree with her?
What are you going to do about Roger Stone?
Hello?
Hello, Mr. President.
What's your plan with Roger Stone?
Well, if you want me to tell you the truth, I'm going to pardon him when the election is over.
So he's only going to be in there for a little bit.
I'm going to grow this beard out until he's free.
Oh, that's why you have that weird mustache, that weird Chinese mustache.
It's not weird.
It looks pretty weird.
It looks adolescent.
It's a great mustache.
Okay.
Clearly, you don't know mustaches.
I know mustaches.
Nobody knows mustaches like I know mustaches.
And this is a great jab.
Okay.
Well, thank you for your help.
You're welcome.
Captain Geese.
Tuesday's show, Jim Carrey is an asshole, was the best show you have ever put together.
I experienced, in this order, happiness, sadness, anger, and disgust.
And thank you for using the Oxford comma there, sir.
All before going into my work on my day off.
You dudes made the shitty Day Bearable.
Fuck Jim Carrey in the eye.
Been a subscriber since almost the beginning, and this was your best work.
Thank you.
Ooh, that's good to know.
Also, I loathe when people email to give you show suggestions, so I guess I'm an asshole.
But would you guys consider doing a history of English rock show?
No.
Curious why the music from different cities took on such different sounds, even though geographically they're fairly close and all the people are presumably English.
I'm curious enough to watch, but not curious enough to look it up for myself.
Figured a Scottish punk rocker would have an interesting take on the subject.
British people are parochial.
That's why you have a different accent every 10 miles.
They don't move around.
Because all of the ambitious ones came to America or were killed in World War II.
So you're left with people who don't feel like moving around much.
And that's why Welsh sounds like a whole different language than Scottish or English.
Now, they're also very good at music, and that's because the weather sucks.
So they stay indoors a lot.
And what do you do when you're indoors?
Well, TV is pretty recent.
So up until then, you'd be like, Someone wrote in a letter, maybe we'll get to it today, where they said, actually, Jim Carrey is really funny.
Fuck you.
And he's actually a really good artist.
I mean, you might not agree with him politically, but if you check out his Instagram or something and his sketches, his sketches suck shit.
They are juvenile.
He uses markers like a little kid does.
He's a fucking useless artist.
Look at that.
Look at that.
I'm not exaggerating.
I know this is a cliche.
My kids are better artists than that.
Look at that Robin Williams one.
Robin Williams.
Oh, this is his best work of art.
Look at the stupid scribbling with the yellow and the green.
And his gay signature.
Look at that.
He's fucking terrible at drawing.
Oh.
I didn't think I could look any worse.
Abe Lincoln's crying.
Jim Carrey is the absolute fucking worst.
At least you know who it is, though.
That's Giuliani, right?
Yep.
Okay.
That's Tump taking a toxic dump thing.
What do you call them?
Obstiferous bloating.
Whatever.
Bloviating.
Bloviating.
Gav, I seen your bit on Jim Carrey.
Who writes I seen your bit?
Is that a hoser or a New Yorker?
They both say use guys.
I seen your bit on Jim Carrey and think you missed the biggest points of why he's a douche.
I think you should do a follow-up, eh?
One, on the Andy Kaufman Netflix docs you refer to, it was discussed that Jim Carrey had a fully kitted out actress trailer, which he never used once as he was in the character of Andy Kaufman.
He totally pissed off the rest of the cast and the director.
Two, Jerry Lawler, the wrestler that befriended the real Andy Kaufman, said Jim was a fucking complete asshole and stayed in character when Andy was such a nice and kind man.
I think Jerry might have hit Jim Carrey on the set, but I can't find the link.
Yeah, that was the thing.
He's like, oh, the studios didn't want people to think I'm an asshole.
No, they didn't want people to know you're an asshole.
Well, I'm not an asshole.
I was doing Andy Kaufman.
Andy Kaufman was one of the nicest, coolest guys ever.
He was not known as an asshole.
You are, Jim.
Even Lawler in that documentary was like, he wasn't like that.
We have respect for each other.
Number three.
Jim Carrey was one of the guests on Norm McDonald's talk show on Netflix.
On a number of occasions, he corrected Norm when referring to him as he.
Jim doesn't exist.
He's just an entity or some shit like that.
Oh, that we got to dig up.
Jim doesn't, he doesn't think he exists.
That's kind of true, actually.
Because everyone thinks he's such a great comedic actor.
He's just doing all the TV characters he's seen.
He just mimics the TV.
He's Zealig.
He's just a mirror.
I found the clip, but I think we can do better on actual Netflix because there's shows there in HD.
And there's only one clip, and I don't know if it's the one.
But we would have got the idea, Ryan.
Okay.
Let's start here.
You have a chair.
No.
I'm completely sensitive to camera angles.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
Excellent.
I guess Jim Carrey, who knows cameras.
Yeah.
Have you ever made love to a camera, literally?
To a camera?
Yeah, they say.
This is pretty interesting, isn't it?
This is the first.
Is this a chair?
Is it a shit shot with a box of film?
Yeah.
No.
Where can you obtain this?
It's only good if you sport this one.
Look at that.
The cow.
The cow.
This is good stuff.
You know what I think is going on here?
Jim recognizes that Norm is much funnier than him.
And he has to do something.
And he's uncomfortable.
So he's like, rather than compete head-to-head, I'm just going to go right off the edge.
Yeah, because then he'd be a straight man.
Yeah, I can't a market of free jokes.
Yeah, that's plus.
Plus, it has ghee, which is purified butter.
It is the greatest drink that you can put in your body.
Oh, but Jim.
It's working!
Oh, God.
Man, I'm so sorry.
Butter disrespect.
Did he break one of the letters?
He took off the.
In a moment.
What a shit stain.
Yikes.
I'm tired.
Dude, lay down.
Jim Carrey makes me want to lay down.
Alrighty then.
Alrighty then.
Wondering, after all you've done in your career and in your life, is there anything still left on your bucket list?
Just you.
I want to date you until you commit suicide.
It's all done now.
I don't know what to say to that.
Just own it.
Okay, I'm owning it now.
Oh.
*Groan*
Hi.
I want you to know that you're wonderful.
And if I was a lot younger, we'd be dating.
We'd swing on a swing set and roast marshmallows and tell ghost stories by the campfire.
But I'd have a few wrinkles and a few lines and seen a few things, done some stuff.
So I'm too old for you.
Let's see what he says.
Smart and kind-hearted.
And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you.
The REM, this is number four.
The REM song Man on the Moon, I assume, isn't your taste?
No, it's not.
Although I heard some good gossip about Michael Stipe.
I heard he reeks.
Ew.
Yeah.
No one wants to go near him.
And he loves to go to shows.
And every time he's at a show, there's like a five-foot radius around him.
Like he reeks like a homeless man.
The REM song Man on the Moon, Jim Carrey, refused to be in the video for as the character of Andy was no longer being played.
And Jim did not know of a movie.
Oh, so he's in character for as long as the movie is.
And then when the movie's done shooting, that Andy Kaufman's dead.
And so when they go, hey, Jim, can you be in this movie?
He's like, what movie?
I remember up until September 3rd.
And then there's a jump to February 6th.
Apparently I was someone else.
Will you fuck off?
Daniel Day-Lewis does this shit too, where he's a gimp in my left foot, and the PAs have to carry him like from his wheelchair and shit.
Like there's a lot of people I don't like.
Like Jeremy Piven gives me the heebie-jeebies, but I love hating him.
Or Alan Cummings is super fucking annoying.
I hate Common, the rapper intellectual who's a retard.
But Jim Carrey's different.
You don't laugh at him like you want to stab him.
I want to throw him off a cliff.
I want to lower him really slowly into a volcano.
But that's Andy wasn't like that.
He's doing the wrestling heel character.
Yeah.
I'll tell you something.
You are not welcome here, okay?
You are not welcome here.
Alright, Lawler?
I'm not afraid of you.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't scare me.
You have to work now.
Andy, you are here to work.
It's Bob Zamuda.
Andy, Andy.
You know, everyone has to play this stupid game?
How self-indulgent can you get?
I'm sorry, folks, for wasting so much of your time on this fucking horrible shit stain.
It takes the energy out of my human body.
Out of my human being.
But you did say that, though.
I feel like taking a nap.
And we started this show with this mortal coil, and the mortal coil is your body.
When you die, you say you're leaving this mortal coil.
In this link, Sasha, this is number five now.
In this link, Sasha Baron Cohen, Jim Carrey, and several other Hollywood actors sat around while Sasha reminisces on how upset he was when Trump won the election.
He passionately describes his distaste and upset while Jim smiles and nods with an asshole smug face.
Check it out.
And then in the end, I was so angry, I felt I actually have to channel that into some characters who could sit with some of those people.
You know, because I wanted to sit with those people who were his friends.
You know, and that was actually what you sometimes do through other artistic means.
I was like, it was strange because I come out of a period of doing a bunch of movies.
I'm like, I have to go back to this old style of comedy that's difficult for me to do, but I have to do it because I'm so upset.
Why does everyone worship Sasha Baron Cohen so much?
Borat was groundbreaking and hilarious.
The dictator was a total flop because it sucked.
Then he had that soccer hooligan thing where he was so mad at the singer of Oasis that he built a whole show on The Boys Grimsby, Brothers Grimsby.
It's called The Brothers Grimm, I think.
It's actually a great movie to show your 10-year-old boy.
It's juvenile.
But it flopped.
The Alley G movie sucked and didn't go anywhere.
So he's had like one hit.
The Bruno movie sucked.
It was just like watching Bruno on HBO.
Maybe because he's been tamed.
He was pretty not PC talking about.
He's super Jewy and he's into Israel and he's a Zionist.
You got your perfect president.
There's no possible president who could be more pro-Israel and pro-Jew than Donald Trump.
And you're fucking so mad.
Why?
I didn't really care how the show went down.
I mean, I showed him going to be upset about this.
I said to him, okay, I'm not doing any publicity because I just had to get it out of my system.
I'm curious about sitting with the various people.
Turn it up.
That you had struck gold.
What were you looking for?
What was success?
You feel it in the room.
I mean, the difference of kind of his show had people being duped, and it showed how dumb conservatives are.
Like, this guy wants to show you how to get kids in a classroom, in a kindergarten classroom, to use a machine gun or something.
And you go, what a dumbass.
He wants four-year-olds to have machine guns.
No, you left out the part where you told, you were an Israeli and you were talking to some southern Politician about gun use in Israel.
Now, Israel's under siege.
There are rockets coming over that wall on a daily basis.
So he doesn't know the context.
Maybe it's, I went to one town that was right bordering Gaza, and it was a fucking absolute war zone.
The kids' schools were, what the hell was the name of this town?
Shadat, Shtarat, or something like that.
And the kids' school, the kindergarten, looked like a bunker.
It was a bunker.
And the bus stops had cement this thick, so they doubled as bomb shelters.
To throw away a bubblegum wrapper in a trash was like, plop, bruh, because they were putting bombs in garbages.
So the garbages have cement all around them and these big iron tops.
So I don't know.
Maybe those kids, if there's bullets coming in the window, maybe they should have guns.
But Sasha twisted it and he made that into dumb right-wing conservatives want little kids to have guns.
And then other times he was, oh, then he got McCain or someone to sign a jug that was used in waterboarding.
And you're watching it going, yeah, this guy's a vet who asked him to sign it.
He might be suffering from mental illness.
Oh, it's Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney.
He might be suffering from PTSD.
This is a very weird thing to do, but I'm going to be benevolent to a soldier, and I'm going to.
Which was your favorite war and why?
Oh, I think it was what we did in Desert Storm.
I really do.
I never thought of it as having a favorite war.
Of course, but you've got to enjoy it too.
Sure.
I loved being Secretary of Defense, especially in wartime.
They're the elites.
You can just spot them a mile away now, can't you?
They're pretentious.
They don't do anything of note.
And they want to tell you how to live your life.
Anyway, I used to love Jim Carrey movies.
Well, I suppose Dumb and Dumb is still one of my favorites, but it is forever tainted now that I learned how much of a fag he has become.
This is from Brandon.
Ridiculous video of divorced family.
I lost my shit.
Oh, this is our guy.
Who is?
This is the guy, the gandrepreneur who was arrested for fraud, I believe.
And told us that you shouldn't laugh at crippled kids.
Thanks, Kevin.
Did you have fun at your dad's?
Yeah.
We had so much fun.
Darman.
Fishing.
Kev, I gotta go.
No, Dad, I don't want you to go.
Sorry, buddy, but you know I can't stay.
I'll see you next week.
James, since it's Mother's Day, we're thinking about going to Disneyland.
Would you want to go with us?
Yeah, Dad, please.
Can you go with us?
Wait a minute.
pause.
Sorry, buddy, but...
In the day there?
Yeah, is it 2 o'clock?
When are you thinking of breezing by Disneyland?
Do you live in Disneyland?
Is it downstairs?
Is that a Mother's Day thing to do?
Yeah, it's Mother's Day.
We're going to go downstairs to Disneyland from 4 to 7 p.m., even though we have to buy a day pass.
That's a 50-year-old Mother's Day thing.
This guy's brain-dead, this dar man.
Like, he creates these bizarre worlds that couldn't possibly exist, like the crippled adopted kid.
This is more sci-fi than the Twilight Zone.
It really is.
I can't.
Okay.
We're not married anymore.
Why would I want to spend Mother's Day with you?
I know we're not married anymore.
It's not about us.
It's about our son.
You're my ex-wife.
I pay my child support.
That's all you're going to get out of me, alright?
I am definitely not spending Mother's Day with you.
Oh, calm down.
I'm just talking about being civil.
For Kevin's sake.
Whatever.
For Kevin's sake.
See you later, Kevin.
Bye, Dad.
You know what, Mom?
I don't want to go anymore.
Oh, okay.
Explain it, Dharman.
Oh, it's still going.
Who is this guy?
Oh, that's the adopting dad.
Yeah.
So this guy made some money being a gonjrepreneur, and now he pays actors to act out his terrible fucking little sketches.
Hey, I just dropped Kevin off at his mom's house, so I'm free.
Let's go down and catch a game somewhere.
I came, bro.
I'm cooking for Claire.
Claire?
Your ex-wife, Claire?
I thought it would be nice to spend some time.
I thought it would be nice and my son for Mother's Day.
Did you guys forget that you had a divorce or something, man?
Why would you do anything for her?
I know that we're divorced.
Because I know that we're divorced, but you see.
Hey, Eddie.
Good here.
Hey, Jesse.
Dad, I missed you.
Hey, little man.
Hey, little man.
What kind of world?
He's the worst actor I've ever seen.
But he is fighting the stereotype that blacks overact.
He's underacting.
Hey, little man.
How are you?
Hey, Claire.
Welcome to my kitchen.
I know we're divorced, but I want to be civil.
So I'm going to make you some chitlins and grits.
Black Eyed Peas and Collard Greens.
All kinds of shit that white people don't...
Sugar bacon?
White people don't use enough spice, right, little man?
I don't know what you're talking about, Dad.
Salt corn.
Pompla mousse.
Pig lip.
Chicken scratch.
Pork knuckles.
Rooster sounds.
I'm going to eat rooster sounds.
Chitlins.
Saragratta greens.
Groblets.
One time I was at the airport at JFK and it was Thanksgiving and there was this black customs guy and we're all walking by him with our bags and goes, Thanksgiving.
This is it.
Big weekend.
Colored greens.
Black Ibe.
Cranberry salt!
He was just for like an hour as people walked by.
Course turkey.
This guy is very soothing.
He's like a weird little turtle man.
Happy Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day.
That's so sweet.
This is gay.
Thank you.
Oh, you made it.
Oh, Disneyland tickets.
ORG.
Where's the Disneyland thing?
Well, it's the juxtaposition, right?
Have you noticed, by the way, like in the previous one, the adopting couple was black and they were the wonderful, good people.
And the white guy was the stupid asshole.
He's like, you don't want that kid.
He's crippled.
Crippled kids are fags.
He's garbage.
And then in this one, the guy's like, I'm not going to Disneyland.
You're a cunt.
And I'm going to go hang out with my black friend.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm too busy doing the right thing, helping people.
Look at his ears.
Yeah.
Not the size, but like there's no movement in there.
There's no like.
Do you see what I'm seeing?
They're like built like elephants.
Can you see what I see?
Wait, wait, his ears?
There's like, there's like no contour in there.
Your ears aren't finished, dude.
Unfinished ears.
If I was in an art class and I was a teacher, I'd go, okay, that's just finish up the ears and we're good to go.
That's a very good drawing.
It looks like that imbecile who was arrested for fraud and tries to tell people lessons that make no sense.
But yeah, finish the ears and we're good to go.
Yeah, hey, F on your project making ears guy.
Hey, what?
Hey, Darman, your ears aren't done.
Your chest is done.
Look at his woman's dance skin shirt, too.
God, he's a turd.
Anyway, go back.
I want to see the rest of this.
Same.
Oh, we're going to go to Disneyland.
Again, I hope they're going to Disneyland like the next day because it's dinner time.
When are you going to Disneyland?
You need a fast pass.
Play.
Sweetie, look what your dad got us.
Yes.
Thank you so much.
Wow.
Are you coming with us?
Of course, son.
Of course, son.
I know that it's yours and your mom's favorite place.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Did they pay him an opium?
He's mummified.
This is like something out of Egypt.
They just took him out of a tomb and said, watch this.
If we put car battery up his ass, it makes it look like he's alive.
Of course, son.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
I wouldn't only been dead for 3,000 years.
I'm a sarcophagi.
Really, Eddie.
I'm considering remarrying you.
Gay.
Oh.
We might even make love.
I gotta go grab Luke's bag out of the car.
Come on, Luke.
Come on, Luke.
Come with me to grab your bag.
What is it?
400 pounds?
Oh, man, look at you.
What's the matter with you, man?
She is your ex-wife.
Why are you doing anything for her at all?
I don't do all these things for her.
I do it for my boy.
I do it for my son.
Your son?
Your son's talking stupid.
I'm talking about my son growing up knowing how to treat women.
You see, the reason I spend time with my ex-wife is because regardless of our differences, she is still my son's mother.
And the way I treat her will impact the way he treats her.
She's been dead for a hundred years.
I tried to scare him with my smile.
It did not work.
Shortly after I died, I realized that I can still be a father to my son if I'm propped up accordingly and I face him.
If I am weakened at Bernie's over to his house, people use sticks to make me smile and they lean me up against a chair.
My son loves it.
And there's no smell at all because I'm embalmed.
The makers of Gorilla Glue are kind enough to whip up a special settler's formula.
And if I want him to be a good man, this guy could afford to circumcise his message a little bit here.
A little bit.
Like, I get it.
Don't be mean to your ex-wife.
By the way, this is totally off topic.
This is a seven-minute video.
But I got to ask.
The thing I don't get about guys who are friends with their ex-wife is, so you drop off your son.
He goes upstairs.
It's nine.
I met this guy who said he dropped his son and he had a bottle of wine with his wife, his ex-wife.
Now, you know each other's bodies perfectly in and out.
You've had a bottle of wine.
How can you not fuck her?
Yeah.
Like if when I was single, I'd meet an ex-girlfriend.
I was always trying to get in there.
Now, if we're in the same home and we just had a bottle of wine.
Yeah.
I've got the brains.
You've got the looks.
Let's make lots of money.
All right.
Let's go back to this and just jump to the end and hear his message.
How many views did these get?
Looks like it goes on.
A black man taught me how to be a good person.
And mom and the kid are just hanging out.
Kind of weird.
What'd you do on Thursday?
I sat on the couch with my mom.
She stroked my hair and we just talked.
Come on, honey.
I'm sure you don't.
Oh, it's still the Disneyland thing.
No.
How much time has gone by?
Must be like seven o'clock now.
They're still talking about Disneyland.
Mom, it closes in two hours.
We could get in for last call.
We could get on one ride.
Yeah, because wasn't the guy making dinner?
Yeah.
Black guy making dinner?
Yeah, he was making dinner.
You guys going to go see the fireworks there?
Mother's Day.
I mean, I think it is open till like midnight or 1 a.m.
So I guess they're more like night crawlers.
Maybe it's Florida in the summer and the heat is just unbearable in the day.
And I want to spend time with you.
What's behind?
Why is your arm back there?
Whatever could be in this door was open so I just kind of figured out a way.
James, what are you doing back here?
Hey, Alice, I'm just doing what the black guy told me to do.
A dead black guy.
I was talking to a dead black guy.
Who, OJ?
He's alive, you stupid bitch.
You're beautiful.
Thanks.
You don't have to put your hands behind your back anymore.
You don't have to be a parade rest.
You are such an amazing mom.
On your feet, soldier.
Underfeet, 13-year-old haircut.
You're such an amazing mom.
You deserve flowers.
It's a double fist.
It's a bag.
I got you a bag that you can put a present in sometime.
Is it Disneyland tickets in a large bag?
Yes, it is.
And he stole it from...
I'm coming with you guys.
Wait, where'd you get those ears?
They're only for sale at Disneyland.
What the hell?
Did you go to Disneyland, buy three hats, and then come back?
You got tickets while you're there, right?
Disneyland like Popeyes?
Is it just everywhere?
There's a drive-thru for the merch.
It's a CVS of amusement parks.
These are aftermarket Chinese knockoffs.
And I thought you said that.
Listen, I am so sorry.
I'm a complete imbecile who can flip on a dime.
I should have never treated you that bipolar.
You are still the mother of our son.
Yes.
And I realize the way I treat you is so important for what kind of man Kevin.
Even if you don't put out.
Can you forgive me?
Listen, pointless pockets.
Look at the pockets on these shirts.
Wait, is Dharman going to come in at the end and tell us what we just heard 90 times?
Space Mountain.
I love Space Mountain, but only myself.
I love Space Mountain.
Hey, Darman Fam.
I hope you love that message about Darman Fam.
Why you should always set a good example for your child.
I appreciate you watching.
And remember, we're not just telling stories, we're changing lives.
And when you share my videos, you're helping to change lives.
I appreciate you, and I'll see you in the next video.
Bye, Dharman.
How many people have watched that?
I don't know.
Doesn't it show up?
Let me see.
Oh, wow.
Watching right now, 3,000.
What?
Look, it says that.
That makes me worried about humanity.
I don't know if I should believe that, but it says people watching.
Well, he is a con man.
Let me refresh and see if it says something good.
Wow.
People watching right now.
And by the way, yeah, you should be civil with your ex-wife.
Did you hang out with her?
What if she cheated on him?
Like, what if you found out your wife was having an affair for five years?
We're not going to Disneyland, bitch.
Fuck you.
I would not fuck them with my heels on.
You know what?
I don't like you.
I would never fuck you with my heels on, and I have no interest in riding on your ding-dong.
Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
No.
Let me ride on your ding-dong.
You may not ride on my ding-dong.
You'll be waiting a long time, Mr. Speaker.
No, I don't want to fuck you to any songs.
Okay.
Oioi, Gav.
Greetings from Birmingham.
New subscriber, loving it so far, babes.
Birmingham.
She was a girl from Birmingham.
Birmingham, of course, is gone.
It is now Islamingham.
And it used to be a beautiful British town.
Isn't I think Ozzy's from Birmingham?
Anyway.
Oh, Rose.
And you know what I realized the other day?
I was listening to Warpigs.
He's a good singer.
Yeah.
It's not monotone.
No.
Satan loving spreads his wings all over ya.
Students gathered in their classes.
Dude, vibrato.
He's got vibrato.
Yeah.
And you know who else is an underrated singer?
He's freely.
Joey Ramon.
Huh.
I don't want to be buried in a pet cemetery.
Brain is hanging upside down.
The brain is hanging upside down.
Oh, I got to hear that song now.
It's awesome.
Again.
This is a rocker.
They were a rock band.
They were not a punk band.
They were a fast rockabilly band.
You've got to pick up the pieces.
You've got to pick up the pieces.
Go on, stop, man, you better.
Boys are gonna love me.
This was when Howard Stern was at its peak.
And then he went, left the remones, he started doing radio.
He became a mom.
I go to university in Bradford second year, and I'm really regretting it, mate.
Anyways, the uni I go to has an LGBTQ plus group.
Today, they sat up a table with some posts of these fucking lesbians who were the first gay people to get married in Northern Ireland.
Whoopty fucking do.
These links below.
Problem is that being in Bradford, the uni I go to has just a few Muslim students and they are pissed.
You know, Islam and the radical left, we should just put them in a room and close the door.
And be like, this is a hate Trump fest.
The cats eat the rats and the rats eat the cats and we sell the skins for free.
Let the rat eats the cat and the cats eats the rat.
That's a who's kiddoo song.
Same-sex marriage.
Couple make history first in NL.
Great.
That's shit on Catholicism where it was born.
Wow, good point.
Problem is that being in Bradford, universities, a few Muslims there are pissed, a few of them started to attack this LGBT group today and was ripping up their posters, screaming at them, etc.
The gay group has caused problems at events that students, non-Muslim students, have tried to have.
They never caused problems for the events Muslim students have organized.
They wouldn't dare.
Muslim students put up posters all the time at my uni, never an issue.
I'm not a fan of this LGBT group.
I'm not a fan of these Muslims, but I'm a fan of freedom of speech.
I try to stick to my principles regarding freedom of speech, even for my enemies, as I think it's important in making a case for freedom of speech when it comes up.
My question is, do I make a point of sticking up and protecting the rights of this LGBT group to have these posters at the uni in the future?
Even though I couldn't care less?
Or should I sit back with some popcorn and watch these gay lefties realize how uncivil Islam really is?
I would like to try and stick to my principles, but the cunt in me wants to see these gay lefties get to taste their own medicine by the very group they jump to protect.
I do know that in the past, two of these gays, lesbians of course, have gone to anti-Tommy protests when he was running for MEP position.
Tommy had a crowd of about 500 people.
The anti-Tommies had about 30 tops.
And I remember seeing one of them post on Facebook how this was proof that Britain and slash Brexit is racist.
Should I try my bit proving a point of free speech or should I let them learn the hard way?
What do you reckon?
P.S. I can't make up my mind whether a fringe with a bob haircut is a good look or outdated.
My boyfriend thinks so.
Oh, I thought it was a dude the whole time.
But I've always wanted to go for the Chrissy Hine look.
What do you think?
Yay or nay?
Well, boy, they really throw a wrench in the works at the 11th hour there, right?
Chrissy Hine.
I remember she had good bangs.
Well, now she's super old.
Let's go young.
You know, Chrissy Hind taught Sid Vicious how to play the bass?
I yelled that at her once.
I saw her at a hope.
She was staying at my hotel in LA.
And as she was heading the car, I go, thanks for teaching Sid to play the bass.
I like your new sunglasses.
No, look up young Chrissy Hind, you tard.
Young.
We don't want to see her frazzled gray pubes.
Speak for yourself.
So to answer your question, ma'am, I think a Chrissy Hind hairdo is a great look.
I love bangs.
I wish it was a tiny bit longer, but yeah, she is so fucking hot.
What a looker.
I'm back on the chain, gang.
Back on the chain, gang.
So to answer your question, you know the motto of this show, get fired, get in trouble.
So I would recommend you find a happy medium between defending LGBT and stirring up the pot.
Tell the Muslims that there's an LGBT group.
Get them angry about it.
Tell the gays that the Muslims are doing something.
Sort of like we talk about when there's someone on a plane acting hysterical.
You want to egg them on.
So they won't even let you stand up and get a drink.
Man, they disrespecting you.
Get them madder and madder and madder until they start to go crazy.
That's what I think you should do.
Just do a little trolling.
But yeah, troll.
Troll it up.
I heard something about the memes for a max thing, by the way.
What?
I believe you could only send four images.
That's what I heard.
That's what they said on.
That's what Milo and Chadwick said.
They said they looked into it.
Four images per letter, per entry.
So if you want it to get to them, you can like if you, that Dolly Parton meme, you know, where it's like Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter.
It's like four different things.
Why aren't you showing yourself while you blather?
I'm looking for this meme just to show you an example.
That Dolly Parton meme like this, yeah.
So that, I think that is technically too many images.
Oh, I see.
But that would count as four?
Yeah.
See that.
Is that eight?
Yeah, this is two put together.
You know, the one that I'm going to go.
I understand.
So what is the COC?
That's four images.
I never heard that before.
That's what I heard.
What about that guy who sent the meme coffee table book?
That's a book of images.
It's a book.
But if you want to send a letter and send a meme and a page or whatever.
All right, so we'll look into that further.
But for now, folks, don't send more than four memes.
Four images.
Four images.
Yeah.
To our boys in blue.
Not in blue.
Sorry, our boys in prison.
Our boys in blue.
Our boys in blue put our boys in prison in prison.
Come on, wake him up.
Okay, let's do a couple more.
Gavin and Ryan, not sure if my meme postcard will make it past the prison censors.
Sent a couple screenshots more about me trolling being racially fluid.
Best way to fight insanity is trolling with greater insanity.
That's what we were just telling Emma.
Get in there.
Have fun.
And if you get kicked out of college, good.
That college sucked.
No one looks at your resume.
No one looks at resumes anymore.
They have you intern and see if you're fun to work with.
And then you start getting opportunities to do more and more and more.
And then you work there.
Magic.
That applies to media stations, jewelers.
And then, of course, what you should be doing if you're a man is getting a trade.
That's just an apprenticeship away.
I know a guy who installs HVAC systems, like designs them, doesn't actually literally put them in.
He just designs them and then maintains them, makes sure they work.
He's got his steam fitters license.
He's got his plumber's license.
He's got his electricity license for high voltage, low voltage.
The guy is, you could push him out of an airplane and he'd land somewhere and have a job in an hour.
I mean, look at him.
He's pimping.
I also know a plastic surgeon who's fucking broke.
Because if you're not in Beverly Hills, people don't really get plastic surgery that's.
Ain't nobody got time for this.
Are you showing this guy's letter?
Love and respect from Arizona.
Thank you for your service in the war against freedom and masculinity.
I use trolling, tolling?
I think he means trolling.
As my weapon in the war.
I'm a cisgendered heterosexual male inflicted and suffering from toxic masculinity.
However, my racial identity is fluid.
That makes me trans, racial, racial fluid.
I know it might sound like something you get at an auto parts store, but I assure you, it's my legit identity.
Although I was born a peckerwood, white trash, when I get profiled and harassed for being a motorcycle enthusiast, I identify as a black man in America.
But until I get murdered in cold blood, when I completely comply with all the officers the way Philando Castile was, I will not complete the transition.
If this happens, I have a brother from work that said he will apply blackface to my corpse to complete the transition.
So I got that going for me, which is nice.
Humor is the best medicine.
I hope it's helping.
You gentlemen are on the right side of history and are living legends.
Thank you for standing up, Mad Mike.
We're living legends, Ryan.
Dang.
That's pretty badass.
And who'd he send it to?
John Kinsman.
Good.
I hope these guys are getting these letters.
Yeah, I was showing all the images.
I'm not sure Fight the Police State is going to make it, though.
Do they ban it?
I should find out more what they ban.
Contra-banned, controversial banned material.
Here's another one.
I think a good segment for the show would be to have Ryan approach the black Hebrew Israelites with two smoke show once-a-year black playmate hot sisters.
Then tell the black Hebrew Israelites, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Then proceed to switch back and forth, making out with both of them.
Kind of what you did with Milo in Florida without being gay.
Not sure how much longer I'll be on paid leave from work.
If you want to fly me out to do it, I might be better for the role, being a white guy that's covered in tattoos.
I like you more than a friend.
Mountains of debt, but I paid for a year membership to Free Speech TV.
So there's a picture of him.
Let's zoom in on that chick on his locker.
You want to try that?
Oh, yeah.
There we go.
Can you do more?
Oh, she's pretty hot.
That's not a magazine photo.
That's like a personal he's dating.
That's a PP.
What do you think?
It's hard to see if she's...
Latina?
Latina.
Or Italian?
Italian Latina?
Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of it.
It's like being married to an Italian.
I bet it's great.
God is loud.
All right.
Running out of time here.
This is from Will.
Grown-ups playing with Legos.
Hey, I gather you watch the Super Bowl, and this is essentially an ancient Chinese secret, but can I remark on this ad spot for a new show where grown-ups do nothing but build Legos?
I watch this show with my kids.
I fucking love it.
My only beef with it is that Will Arnett...
Will Arnett?
That looks like something I would wear.
That seems like a lie.
That seems like a lie.
He's got an evil man voice.
I think the competitors get stoned to death with Lego.
I don't know how it works.
I haven't read the rule book yet.
It's death by Lego.
Lego Masters is really about people who are really passionate about building Lego.
I don't know if I brought this up already.
Look at that guy.
He's wearing an overall dress shorts.
He lost, by the way, the first episode.
Oh, you've seen this?
Yeah.
It's great for the kids.
But this guy's right.
These people are absolute fucking losers.
I can't believe they play with Lego, especially the Puerto Rican father and son team.
I like to spend time with my dad and we make things.
You do Lego with your dad?
Ever heard of going to a bar and having a fucking beer?
But the truth is, if they're smart, I got an account set up in the Caymans and I can make it happen.
We played Blackjack with him once in Vegas.
Did you ever play Black, I mean Jack Black with him?
No, we had a really good time.
He's a fucking hilarious dude.
He's a Canuck.
He's Canadian.
We had the worst dealer in the universe.
He was like this the whole time.
And I said, I made Will do a spit take.
I said, dealer, I'm just curious, when did you first have people calling you Mr. Grump?
Or something like, how'd you get the nickname Mr. Grump?
Yeah.
And he would get really pissed off and we'd go, hit me, Mr. Grump.
And that didn't sound as funny when I recreated it, but it was really funny.
I could understand how that would be funny.
You know how we were doing Coke there?
No, I don't know.
At the blackjack table?
Oh, how?
We put it in a nasal thing.
Oh, like a Flonase deal.
A Flonase.
Not a Flon...
But you know that...
You don't really see them that much anymore.
But for people with stuffed noses, you have that...
There's like a little...
Whatever it is.
That little, I have a cold thing.
We put Coke in that.
So you're there at the table playing Blackjack doing Coke.
Playing Black Jack.
Jack Black.
Oh my God.
Jack Black.
Thank you for coming on the show.
Chilloo.
It's a good bass.
You know, we've had a lot of celebrity guests recently, and I am shocked at how bad all their teeth are.
Yep.
I think Hollywood needs to get a dental plan.
Whoa.
What happened there?
You got mad?
Chilloo.
Chillo.
Are you there?
Yeah.
Rock on, man.
Okay.
Rock and roll.
And don't forget it.
Are you cracking up?
Is this Carol Burnett now?
Weird cameos.
You know society has arrived at peak perpetual adolescence when grown-ups tune in to watch other grown-ups play with color blocks without a child in sight.
Yeah.
Oh, fucking.
Blocks of color, sir.
Jesus.
Hey, Gavin.
I just saw that.
This is the last one, I think.
Yeah, I gotta go.
Hey, Gavin, just saw the clip of the titsucker where you discussed said video where the news crews were attacked getting into someone else's business.
Here's a clip of my late...
I don't know.
Here's a clip of my late grandfather, Larry, and Uncle Cal and expose, and the expose the local news tried to run on them.
Oh, he's talking about that guy who fought the journalist after getting in trouble for sucking the tit.
Stop, stop.
So what he's discussing, in case you're not familiar with this, is there was some girl filmed a guy in front of his own news clothing store, and there's a woman who appears homeless, and he sucks on her tit.
Big deal.
It was consensual.
It's two old, ugly people making out.
Mind your own beeswax.
But a news crew decided to go there and investigate, so he attacked them, punched at them, and shoved them and stuff, as one would do.
They're trying to ruin his reputation for something that was none of his goddamn business, fucking Puritans.
Anyway, this reader is saying a similar thing happened to my grandfather.
Cal Dietz is the king of real estate in Nuego.
His brokerage with five offices and 45 salespersons is by far the largest.
But Dietz, a self-proclaimed millionaire, dominates more than just real estate.
During the past decade, Dietz has had a grip on the criminal justice system in Nuego County.
A TB13 investigation found that Dietz has spun an uncanny web of influence.
Judges, prosecutors, and police have been compromised through gifts, favors, and business deals.
The officials profit from Dietz's wealth, he benefits through their power and prestige of office.
The apparent loser is criminal justice in Nuego County.
Dietz scoffs at the law.
A TV13 news crew found that out the hard way in trying to interview Dietz outside a Nuego restaurant.
So that's his grandfather's Larry.
Hello.
Hello.
Who are you?
those are the good old days.
Why are you intimidating me?
Oh, ha, ha, That was a great punch.
Smiles right afterward.
Look.
Was that right on the chin?
Hey, wait, go back.
Let's see that frame by frame.
Oh, we can't see it.
I think that might have been a chin.
That's the ingredients for a knockout.
How badass would it be if you just knocked out the news guy?
Ah, damn it.
I think that's right on the chin.
Oh, that bald guy should get into boxing.
He's got an iron jaw.
Turned his face into like a monster jump scare face.
There's Uncle Cal.
Who's next?
You want some more?
We want to talk to Mr. D. Get your ass.
My name.
Go, Mr. Kill.
No, you can't.
Why is that?
Talk to Mr. D. Put your foot behind him and trip him.
Because why?
We'd like to ask you, did you buy off public officials, sir?
That bunch, motherfucker.
Let's have lunch.
How about a knuckle sandwich, fucko?
Larry.
One minute.
Larry.
I ain't gonna be intimidated.
See, what these news crews don't seem to get is you're trying to ruin a man's life.
Yeah, I'm not gonna participate.
Sorry.
So you're picking a fight.
And then you get punched?
No, you got bloody.
He's never been punched before.
Mr. Dietz, can you tell me about some of the Las Vegas trips that you've taken public officials on with you and paid their way?
These are just simple questions.
Why can't we just sit down and talk about it?
Four days later, the same TV-13 news crew was assaulted by a car driven by Cal Dietz.
What the hell are you doing?
They cut him right off guard.
Look at his fucking stupid face.
What the hell are you doing?
The Nuego County Prosecutor has not yet determined whether criminal charges will be filed against Dietz in the apparent auto assault.
There were several other attempts by Dietz to stop this special report.
Dietz threatened journalist Alan Higbee, who assisted TV13 with research.
One instance occurred when Higbee and his wife were walking down a Muskegon sidewalk.
Positioned his car so that it blocked the sidewalk and leaned out the window of his car and asked me if I was paid up.
I asked him what he meant and he said, are you paid up?
And I said, how do you mean?
And he looked at my wife and said, your life insurance.
And then looked back at me and he said, are you paid up?
And then he said, because you're going to need it, this is going to be the end for you.
This special 10-part series took several months to produce.
TV13's Mark Lager quit.
If you look in the book of names, that's Santa's book.
Naughty, nice.
Here you are, right under naughty.
Mr. Dietz, how do you respond to being on Santa's naughty list?
That's really what they're doing.
So, Tattletale Journalism has been around for a while, I guess.
I bet.
And don't pick a fight with someone if you're not ready to get your ass fucking beat.
Yeah.
Because the propensity for crime is much lower, statistically, than it ever has been.
Talib Starks.
GM, what up, GM?
Why am I just seeing your mouth and nothing else?
What do you mean?
Oh, because your tech guy, statistically, messes up a lot more than the propensity for crime.
But weren't you looking at the monitor when you did that?
I was looking at the preview, not the program.
That's a problem.
I got two screens.
Well, it looks like Ryan is closely following the motto that ends our show because he just got fired.
▲
Export Selection