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Feb. 4, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:30:01
S02E120 - THE MEME PROJECT [2020-02-04 - S02E120 - THE MEME PROJECT]
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Time Text
Oh, I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair in 77 and 69 Revolution Live from New York Get Off My One with Devin McKinnon Oh, I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.
When the head of state didn't play guitar, not everybody drove a car.
When music really mattered and when radio was king.
When accountants didn't have control and the media couldn't buy your soul.
When computers were still scary and we didn't know everything.
Oh, I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.
In the 80s.
In the 80s.
never a guess how i discovered that song you know it's funny it's just some scottish chick and i was like wow this song is gay and and what are you talking about you wish you were a punk and a hippie at the same time ever heard never trust a hippie by the sex pistols you can't be both um but then the scottish dong dong comes in and i started getting involuntary chills you wish you were born in 69 and 77 there's two of you now or
you wish those those two subcultures had somehow melded um i ended up there because I saw Cardi B I didn't send you this link I saw Cardi B talking I didn't send you this link So maybe you should be looking for it Cardi B do what?
Cardi B talking about the Shakira halftime show and how, God, her fucking Puerto Rican accent is brutal.
And she's like, I remember when she came out, she was like a punk rocker, like a punk rock pop star, something.
And it would be in our Instagram feed, Ryan.
Are we going to have another fight day?
You didn't say Instagram.
I know, but if it's a daily, she's not going to make a YouTube video.
I thought maybe it was on the news.
In the news today, Cardi B has an opinion.
Yeah, the report, like, look what she wore today.
And you're like, okay, I guess that's the news.
Anyway.
Is it her Instagram story?
Oh, I don't fucking know.
Here, let's start counting.
One, 1,000.
Two, 1,000.
Three, 1,000.
Cardi B, Shakira.
Maybe I'll try Twitter.
And nothing.
Cardi B crying.
Cardi B tirade against President Trump.
Because if it's her story, that's gone.
And here it is.
Cardi B talks Shakira and JLo.
Is that Twitter?
How long did that take me?
Someone made a YouTube of her, I guess, Instagram story.
So how long did that take me?
And I remember there was a point that Shakira was just so popping.
Like, she was just putting out music.
Was she in the bathroom?
Music out.
Music out.
First, like, I remember, like, I remember, like, the first song that we heard from her that as a little girl went crazy was the song that she was like, Buta ciega sola, sola, muda.
She was like a punk rockish.
She was kind of like a punk rockish pop Spanish artist.
And then she came with the belly dancing era.
And everybody, like, in Washington Heights and the Bronx, they want to be, like, belly dancers and everything.
Like, even girls that don't speak Spanish or they don't really know Spanish, they were just, like, belly dancing.
Belly dancing.
It was just, like, a crazy era.
And then, you know, JLo, she was just, boom.
She was just flourishing and everything.
Flourishing and everything.
I would love to see her become a politician.
Wouldn't that be awesome?
She wanted to be.
Yeah.
Wasn't she going to be, like, the president of Kenya or something?
She was going to move back to Kenya, but she was talking about being a communist.
What are you being back?
She's from Kenya?
She said she wanted to move back to Kenya.
She has citizenship there.
She sure doesn't sound Kenyan.
Oh, my God.
I would love.
Imagine hearing her do speeches.
Sorry, I'm late.
I was in the bathroom.
Basically, like, my man is saying that we need more to pay for shit.
I ain't paying for shit.
She probably would go right wing after she saw how much money the government spends.
She really hates Trump.
Can you find Cardi B bitching about Trump?
I bet she's got really salient points.
I bet her bitching about Trump is exact same as Ann Coulter.
She talks about the wall, immigration.
She talks about overspending.
I don't want to remind y'all because it's been a little bit over three weeks.
Okay?
It's been a little bit over three weeks.
Trump is now ordering, as in summonsing, federal government workers to go back to work without getting paid.
Now, I don't want to hear y'all motherfuckers talking about, oh, but Obama shut down the government for 17 days.
Yeah, bitch.
For health care.
So your grandma could check her blood pressure and you bitches could go check your pussy in the gynecologist with no motherfucking problem.
Now, I know a lot of y'all don't care because y'all don't work for the government or y'all probably don't even have a job.
But this shit is really fucking serious, bro.
This shit is crazy.
Like, our country is in a hellhole right now.
All for a fucking wall.
Like, we really need to take this serious.
I feel like we need to take some action.
I don't know what type of action this is because this is not what I do.
But, bitch, I'm scared.
This is crazy.
And I really feel bad for these people that got to go to fucking work to not get paid.
get motherfucking pay yeah for health care so your grandma could check her blood pressure.
What happened?
Imagine having to listen to Cardi B. Well, you're Puerto Rican.
I guess you were surviving with Cardi B's.
No, that's that's a that's she's drenched in it.
We were proud to be an American.
Proud?
I'm wearing my inmate costume today because there's a lot of criminal justice stuff we're going to talk about.
I'm so bored of this.
Aren't we all?
I think everyone looks at that and goes, why didn't you fucking call the cops, bitch?
And then we find out that she, oh, you sucked him off like a month later.
I don't suck off my rapists.
That's one of my, I know there's no perfect victims.
It's sort of like you've got this crazy drug addict sister and you try to help her out and you bail her out of prison and stuff and then you help her and then you find out that she was smoking crack with the guy that beat her two weeks after you paid her bail.
You're like, what's going on?
That's how we feel when we see this.
We go, what's going on now?
What happened?
You took, you got a plane ticket.
So you're just an expensive prostitute that facilitates future rapes.
Sorry.
Got a letter from Ulster, by the way.
Ulster Correctional Facility from John Kinsman.
Maybe we'll just dive right into that before we get to the news.
I've been talking to my boys, the proud boys in prison.
We're still working on a fundraiser for them that is Antifa-proof.
Antifa doesn't have to worry about that, of course.
The thing they're really missing is memes.
Can you put up Max's and John's email?
I mean, addresses?
They like letters.
I'll show these at the end of the show.
If you know what, from now on, at the end of every show, put those two together on the screen.
Gotcha, okay.
Okay.
Max Hare, he's the younger one.
He was the one where Antifa said that he said, they were fucking foreigners when he was actually pretty pumped for winning the fight.
And he said, there was fucking four of them.
No one calls Antifa foreigners.
There are no foreigners in Antifa in America.
There's foreigners, there's Italians in Italian Antifa, but they are the whitest kids on the block.
So Max is the younger one, and then John Kinsman is the one with the black wife and the black kids.
And we'll put his address on the screen.
You can pause this and write it down.
Ignore the Tuesday at 3.53.
So Ulster Correctional Facility is like a holding cell where they decide where they're going to send you.
I don't know why John is still there.
Maybe they like him or something, or they don't want him to be with Max.
But Max, they sent to Gouvernur, which is so far north it has a French spelling because it's right on the Canadian border.
In fact, if you would fly to Ottawa, you're just two hours south.
I mean, you would have to drive two hours south.
It's right on the border.
Ottawa's near the border.
But this is what I'm trying to get across.
These guys need memes.
In fact, we're starting a new thing right now, the meme project, where we have people print out memes and send them to John and Max.
Please participate in the meme project.
You don't have to sit there and write a long letter about the weather and how you're mad at your girlfriend and it's terrible what happened to you and fuck Antifa and blah, blah, blah.
You don't have to bother with that.
It'd be nice if you did.
But please send memes to our boys in orange.
Orange is the new MAGA.
And you could share it just like it's a phone meme.
And you'd be like, dude, look at this.
What?
To your cellmate or something.
They'd be like, dude, remember that fucking thing?
Oh, you like just show him the piece of paper?
Yeah, it's just like, dude, it's like showing somebody your phone.
Like, look at this meme.
Yeah, I don't really care about his fellow inmates.
But that helps his relationship.
Sure.
He's got one of the guys he's with is named Animal who's doing life for murder.
And you go, well.
And he said, well, who did he murder?
He murdered a pedophile.
I think for murdering a pedophile, you should have to pay a $450 fine and spend over two days in the tombs in Manhattan.
Remember we had that guy on our old show who, of course I have to get the exact name for this.
We had that guy on our old show who was, where are we here?
On our old show, whose father killed the guy who raped him.
Do you remember that guy?
That kind of rings a bell.
Was that on CR-TV?
Well, this was on the Gavin McKinnon.
No, maybe it was on CR-TV.
I can't remember.
It was years ago.
But his karate instructor kidnapped him, or not kidnapped him, but took him on a karate tour to all these tournaments and was raping him on a daily basis.
Jodi Plosh, the guy's name was Jeff Douce.
D-O-U-C-E-T.
Jeff Douce.
D-O-U-C-E-T.
Okay.
And he was at the, so he took the kid away for a year to a bunch of kung fu tournaments or something.
A karate instructor, was it?
And when he was walking off a plane in Baton Rouge Airport in 1984, the dad came up and shot him in the back of the head.
Yeah, this might be on it.
Jodi Plochet several weeks earlier and taken him to California.
I know Jodi Poche.
I've had him on the show.
he's an old fat guy now.
When Julie was rescued and returned to his family, his father Gary was coping with reports that Doucette had sexually assaulted his son.
We didn't know what to do.
You just feel helpless.
Ten days later, when the police flew Dussette back to face trial, Gary Plochet was waiting with a gun.
The suspect came through the airport.
I read my camera, raised it up to get a close-up shot of him.
So I got a close-up shot, and as he got parallel to me, Gary Plochet shoots and kills him.
What a hero.
By the way, you know what that black guy did, right?
He called the dad.
And he knew what he did.
and he said, he's getting off this flight.
We're going to be here and set it all up.
We'll be going out this exit.
We'll be arriving at this gate.
And then he thought, I'll get my shot.
So, in a sense, that cameraman murdered the pedophile.
But I don't care.
This guy's confessing to murdering a child molester.
Oh, I remember that story.
You found that pretty quick.
That Tim Robbins said he was being sexy.
This is Shawshank Outtakes.
I don't know.
I just got mad and then hit him and then I killed him.
I hit him and knocked him out, and then I took the shoelaces out of his shoes, tied them together, wrapped it around his neck, and strangled him.
Then after I was done, I mean, I was aware of what I was doing.
You know, and then I just put him on his bed and covered him up and climbed in my bed and went to sleep.
I noticed, you know, obviously we've been in your cell.
It appears that all of your belongings you packed up.
When did you get it?
All right, that's enough.
You know, Max was saying, he's the one at governor, saying, it's not that bad.
I'm kind of getting into my groove.
I got my mass murder.
I mean, I got my serving lifetime friends, the pedophile killer and some other guy who's riddled with bullet holes, and we work out.
And he said, it's like a really, really shitty cruise.
So the entertainment is there still, and you get to watch TV occasionally.
But I thought this was an interesting point that John wrote.
I'm sure he wouldn't mind me reading it out loud on the show.
Wait, what the fuck?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
The hardest part, of course, is calling the family and hearing what's happening to them without being able to do anything about it.
And then after that, he says, being here, I realize that prison is for people who need to legitimately be separated from society.
Nothing is being corrected here, and in no way is this paying any debt to society.
In reality, I'm just being forced to leech off society while my outside life is being disassembled.
And that's really the key.
I mean, I've asked prisoners this a million times.
What percentage of the guys in there do you think are incompatible with society?
And they say five.
It's funny, too, when I ask cops what percentage of their force are genuinely bad people who kind of match the description of what Black Lives Matter is saying and all that shit.
And they'll say five.
But they'll say even those guys aren't about to kill some black dude for a laugh.
They're just, you know, kind of corrupt and don't give a shit about anyone and are dicks.
But they're not going to jeopardize their pension by doing anything illegal.
And up until one generation ago, 5% of the populace would get a secondary education.
This magic number five, it might be one of the oldest symbols in history.
The 5%.
Maybe that'll become our mantra.
Everything is about the magic 5%.
Do you know what a life flower is?
Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
What is that called again?
The flower of life.
The flower of life.
It is so old.
It's 80% air, that word.
It's the flower of life.
Flower of life.
What the fuck is his accent?
When we had that live GOML taken off YouTube, I assumed it was that talk.
But it was three seconds of Ricky Gervais going, free love on the hot love.
Yeah.
So yeah, the meme project, please send them memes.
They get letters, they get news, they get books, they get food.
You can send food as long as it's packaged, you know?
Yeah.
Wow.
You can send a lot of shit.
They have a whole setup with JPEG.
Conversely, of course, we have this dick.
What's his name?
David Campbell.
Did I put that in the notes?
Let me see.
Yeah, 18.
So we can't have it.
We have to spend months building a fundraiser that can't be hacked.
And they're just on PayPal.
Free David Campbell.
Poor sweet David Campbell.
This was the guy who was at the beating up people outside of Night for Freedom, where everyone was getting attacked for daring to have a private luncheon with Mike Cernovich.
So in his write-up, you should hear their version of events.
They go, at the protest, a brawl broke out in which a 56-year-old intoxicated alt-right man was knocked unconscious.
No, a sober 56-year-old Jewish man was accused of being a Nazi by David Campbell.
Then he was tackled, strangled, punched in the face, and went into cardiac arrest, wherein he was rushed to the hospital.
Then you fought the cops, David Campbell.
And our buddies at Rikers tell us that things suck there for him.
Jeff, the guy who was doing weekends at Rikers for the fight.
By the way, David Campbell was Knight for Freedom.
My guys are in for something 10 months later, which they mention in his fundraiser.
During this period, the Manhattan DA inexplicably offered much more lenient plea deals involving only community service to a number of alt-right gang members.
That's Proud Boys.
And charged in a separate but very similar case about 10 months after David.
No justification for these desperate outcomes has been given by the Manhattan DA.
They got four years, dude.
And out of the 10 guys arrested, there's only like three or four who were in the actual fight.
And one of them got a year of weekends at Rikers, and the others are doing four years.
So what are you talking about?
You thought we were too lenient, are we?
Yeah, fucking unbelievable, isn't it?
Yep.
So we'll get that website up there, but we do have to work hard on the meme project to get these guys as many memes as is humanly possible.
And I think you should include some lefty memes so we can show that the left can't mean.
They don't have to be full color.
You don't have to murder your printer.
Is this a new idea, you think?
Or have you heard of this?
What?
Memes in sending memes.
No, it never occurred to me.
So who brought it up?
You came up with it?
Max.
Wow.
He goes, I really miss memes.
That could change prison.
You don't know.
That might be able to bring just enough...
Yeah.
And what if you even send blank memes?
Why are you talking and not showing yourself?
Nobody wants to see me.
Why are you wearing shorts, a wool hat, and a sweatshirt?
It's polyester.
That's all I have.
That's all I have.
It's polyester.
So your body's, your top of your body's cold, but your legs are hot?
You have the same central nervous system for your whole body?
No, now my upper body's hot, and my lower body's cold.
Oh, well, then why are you wearing a fucking hat if your upper body's hot?
Because my upper body was cold.
So why don't you take your hat off now that you're not hot?
No, it's perfect.
You're not cold.
No, now it feels good.
You just said your upper body's hot.
Because I've done the hoodie and the hat.
Because I'd rather be hot than cold.
And if I take it off, it's going to be cold.
Take the sweater off, it's going to be cold.
You see what I have to put up with every day?
That's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, lots is wrong with that.
I feel like I have an unturned stone, though, which is why I paused with that David Campbell thing.
Alt-right gang members, no justification for these desperate outcomes.
Another meme going on with that fight is they put up a big banner and they said, hey, Mark Dwyer, he lets a rabbi go after raping a kid eight times and he gives him four months.
And the reaction to that is, you're promoting a Jewish stereotype about pedophilia.
What?
That's new.
I didn't know there was a stereotype with Jews and pedophilia, but no, no one's talking about promoting a stereotype.
We're talking about a very lenient sentence a guy got.
The fact that he's a rabbi is nobody's business.
That was too much of indecence.
Also in the news, remember Mikey?
Wake him up.
Tell him to fucking wake up.
I didn't send this to you in the notes.
Yo, he's like fucking sleeping, yo.
He's sleeping.
You're causing a scene.
Make him serious.
I can't.
Yo, there's a kid in there.
Where's Mikey?
He's asleep.
70 for a dime.
He doesn't want to.
Dude.
Dude.
I'll come back at four.
Don't fuck it.
I don't want to make a scene.
There's fucking there's a cop over there.
Well, leave.
If there's a cop, leave.
Dude, hook me up.
I don't want to make a fucking scene.
Well, you already fucking made a big ass scene.
70 for a dime is a fucking deal.
Okay, I'm looking at those teeth like a hawk.
He doesn't want to.
And I think we have, I think Mikey's back.
So I think maybe she's mentally, well, she's clearly mentally ill and a lesbian.
So she self-medicates with crack or meth or whatever the fuck Mikey is going to get her.
So I didn't send it to you, Ryan.
I texted it to you last night.
Oh, the new one, okay.
Yeah.
That helps when it's in my phone and I just got to email it to myself.
Well, surely you knew when we brought up this subject that we're going to be talking about that video.
No, I thought you were sending it to me.
Look, it's her again.
This must be a fever dream.
Anyway, mentally ill, she uses mess to self-medicate.
And then as a lesbian, she goes, I'm going to start taking testosterone, right?
I want to become more manly.
I don't like my tits.
And so she grows a beard.
And then while she's on meth, she probably shaved her head bald.
And then she thought, that looks weird.
So she got a head tattoo.
Yeah, that's what she probably doesn't like her receding hairline.
So she put a tattoo on it to make it less obvious.
Because if there's one thing you don't notice, it's a fucking head tattoo.
So tell us, folks at home, if you think this is Mikey several years later.
Oh, fuck yeah.
I put a bear paw in my tit.
Are you excited for that War for Love?
I don't give a fuck.
Jason's there, too.
War for Love drops on Monday.
It's gonna be the same attitude.
I want to go over that fucking boat ride.
Yeah.
Right fucking now.
Okay.
Over that boat ride.
Boat's over there.
Just grunting.
Just grunting.
I want to go over it up.
Fucking now.
Come on.
See the boat.
I don't give a fuck who felt stupid in class.
Or it felt stupid in class as I flopped it down a whole day.
Fuck where the fuck is it?
It's kind of a like I'm not a head tattoo guy, but on a purely aesthetic angle, it's a very cool tattoo.
It's a fine tattoo.
It's weird and stuff, but you know, if it was some Aboriginal in Papua New Guinea, I'd go, oh, they're talented.
And then you can see the beard is coming in.
But is there a way you can put them side to side?
Yes, yes.
Because if we could play them both at the same time.
Let's agree on a freeze frame here.
No, I want to hear the video side to side.
I might be able to, yeah.
Hold on.
Give me a second here.
Let's send them back to the lab.
Crack is a hell of a drug.
And as Ryan pointed out, whenever you see crackheads or meth heads, I'm sorry, I'm not well-versed on the difference.
It's not like you see their mug shot and then you see the mug shot the next time and it's just different glasses.
They're a different person in every mug shot.
They're famous for their personalities and their looks changing.
So this would be perfectly in tune with the history of crackheads.
Mikey!
Jason's there.
Fucking making a scene.
I don't hear teeth.
I can't go over that fucking movie.
Hairline is inarguable.
And that's not a common hairline.
What do you think?
That's not a common hairline.
No, it's a perfect line.
The jowls, the cheeks, very similar.
Now, if I could Photoshop some glasses on her, I think we'd see that.
All right.
Let's see a head tilt.
I think that's enough.
All right.
So the verdict for you, as it stands, I am sold.
Yeah, me too.
If I was a juror, I'd say, yes, that's the same person.
Yep.
Oh, great.
Now I'm talking about injustice, and I just threw someone in jail based on a tiny hunch.
Right.
All right, I guess we had to talk about the Iowa caucus.
Pete Buttigig thinks he's the winner.
He just went, I won.
Which is kind of what we did in Vietnam, right?
We couldn't get out of there.
It was getting worse and worse, the quagmire.
And so we just said, we're finished.
We won.
Vietnam's saved.
Bye.
And that's, so he's actually being very American right now.
What does it say?
Pete Buttigag declares victory in the Iowa caucuses with 0% of the vote in.
That doesn't bode well for his presidency.
I sent you a separate video, by the way, an email, where they have some old lady who had no idea he was gay, and she's obviously very Christian.
This in a separate email.
Okay.
And she's saying what I said, which is Americans are not going to be okay with the White House having two married homosexuals in it.
So are you saying that he has the same-sex partner?
Yes, yes, yes.
Are you kidding?
He's married to him yes.
Then I don't want anybody like that in the White House.
So can I have my cousin back?
She still has sex with her husband.
We could go back.
I never knew that.
Wait a minute, though.
He's a human being, just like you.
This is women thought perfectly.
We're all human beings, and love is love.
Yeah, I know.
We're getting a little more nuanced than that, my dear.
Why does it say in the Bible that a man should marry a woman then?
Well, I totally respect your viewpoint on this.
I so totally do.
But I think that we were not around.
How does this really been brought out before?
It's common knowledge.
It's common knowledge to us political nerds, but I wonder how many average Americans realize that he's married to a dude.
And because he's rarely photographed with that dude.
And I wonder if how many Americans really know about gay sex.
It's never normal.
It's never non-dramatic.
And it's often involving other people.
And some of the details I won't share on the show, but there we go.
First family.
No way.
I don't give a shit.
If Trump was gay, I wouldn't give a shit.
So I'm not concerned.
I'm very socially liberal.
I'm not talking about me.
I'm talking about the average Midwesterner.
The idea of jizz dripping out of a man's mouth in the White House is something they can never get over.
There's no way in hell.
I'd bet my life that Pete Buttigig won't win.
I'd also bet my life that Trump is going to win in a landslide.
In fact, we should set up some sort of bet.
Here, I'll do it right now.
I will eat a $100 bill live on the air if Trump doesn't win.
So we'll just plow through it here because it's lame and boring.
Oh, I won.
Everyone was clapping.
Because tonight, an improbable hope became an undeniable reality.
Alfred E. Newman for president.
Isn't that such a great insult Trump gave him?
Because anything gay, you're playing into their hands.
Yeah, the fact that he has butt in his name.
Yeah, they're begging you to call him like butt, butt, but Owen calls him, Owen Schroyer.
He's acting like Obama right now.
You know that?
In what sense?
Look, after the way he finishes.
Became an undeniable reality.
He just grimace and looking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Obama always had that lip thing.
I'm looking in the distance once you finish clapping.
Well, he better not smile because that's when he really turns on the Alfred E. Newman.
There's the smile.
Oops.
So Biden is doing shitty.
Anyway, the real takeaway from Iowa is that Bernie Sanders is kicking ass.
And that's bad.
That's bad for America.
Because if he's the frontrunner, he has the best chance, a very good chance.
And why?
Because of spite.
Americans are pissed off.
Trump won.
And a big part of his votes were the, oh yeah, fuck you votes.
You know?
That's sort of like the way I feel about a lot of these things.
Like, I don't care if you're a tranny or whatever, but then you say, no, I get to use the bathroom.
What?
No.
Oh, you care that where someone goes pee?
No, it's not that.
Fuck you.
It's like these little things that they pretend are little, but are actually big.
Like, say you're at a bar, you go pee, your drink was there, you know, something else was there of yours, and then you come back and someone's sitting in your seat.
Now, do you really care if you have to move one seat over?
No, it's the principle of the thing.
Dude, what are you doing?
My drink is right there.
Like I would die for that.
For example, at my loco, when Hillary was running, the bartender bet me one beer that she would win.
And he gave me all these caveats, like it'll be a landslide, blah, blah, blah.
He was so sure she was going to win that he added shit to the bet.
So after Trump won, I went in there for my beer and he seemed hesitant.
And I'll tell you what, man, I was ready to burn that place to the fucking ground.
I was, I felt rage I haven't felt in a long time, but I was ready to like eat his children.
You know, you know what the trans thing is like, too?
It's like they want to play, it's like if I told you I want to play Star Wars, you're like, okay, play Star Wars.
But then I say, all right, I'm Darth Vader.
Like, I want you to go, my lord.
Yeah.
You know, it's kind of.
I don't really want you to Darth Vader choke me, but you can play Star Wars all you want.
You're not playing Star Wars in this.
The other guy is playing.
Yeah, it's like you can play Star Wars all the way.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, that's not terrible.
Can you force choke me?
I meant to get the.
Oh, God, I wish I could do this.
Well, you'd be dead.
Thank you, God, for not giving me Vader powers, or else you would not have an engineer.
So yeah, if Sanders wins, that's a fucking big if, he will turn America into a socialist country.
And that's okay for Canada because Canada was already British and they've been sort of steeped in European socialism their whole life, their whole short-lived life.
Like look at fucking Ezra Levant.
I didn't number this.
It's between 12 and 13.
This is life in Canada.
I'm fighting back against the Election Commissioner, those folks who interrogated me at their high security office in Ottawa.
Little do they know, I videotaped it.
Hundreds of thousands of people have watched that videotape.
It's so bad that Elections Canada has put out a tweet distancing itself from Elections Canada.
What an embarrassment they are.
Well, on Friday, my lawyers fired off this letter to the Elections Commissioner.
You can see a full copy of this letter yourself at save RebelNews.com.
But give me just a couple minutes.
I want to take you through this letter.
It was sent to Milan Jijou.
He wore a hidden camera to see Canada's equivalent of, well, not really the CIA, but a department of law enforcement that deals with the election meddling.
And their contention is that he meddled with the election by writing a book about Justin Trudeau during the election.
That's Canada.
That's socialism.
So you can do that to Canadians and they're used to it.
You can't, when you inflict socialism on Americans, it's a totally different story.
Canada and Northern Europe and a lot of these socialist countries were founded on similar socialist prospects, concepts.
America was founded on fuck you, fuck socialism, fuck the monarchy, fuck the queen.
So to make them into socialists, the country won't be the same.
It won't be the America we know.
We might as well change its name.
And it's funny that they were chanting no borders, no wall, no USA at all, because if Sanders gets in office, it won't be the USA you knew.
Free health care for everyone, no problem.
All student debt paid off, great idea.
And then, of course, the Green New Deal with every building in the country has to be green friendly.
And Jesus Christ, estimates of $600,000 per person.
We have some unturned stones with the Super Bowl, so I'm sorry to go back over that.
But remember when I couldn't remember the commercial that I thought was so fucking good that no one could hold a candle to it?
That's 1.6.
It was a Rocket Mortgage ad starring Aquaman, I hope you saw.
Did you see this one?
No.
Well, you haven't ever seen it.
Yeah, I've heard about it.
He's so gorgeous.
That's my exact body.
It's the one place.
Okay, look.
He has socks on.
Oh, and by the way, I never noticed this before.
After he takes his boots off, he's super short.
Huh?
Oh, whoa.
There's a kind of a difference there, huh?
It's the one place.
Oh, whoa.
What the hell?
Ryan, relax.
What the heck?
You know what I'm saying?
Rockets at home.
It's where I can be myself.
Ew.
Now he's barefoot.
That's a mistake.
So wait.
What are you saying, Ryan?
He's like deformed.
Like, nobody really knew he was deformed.
Can you just show your face?
Yeah.
Like, that's sad.
So you think this commercial's sad?
Yeah, it's messed up.
Like, you know what's nice?
He gets to play a superhero where he's like a tough guy.
But I think it's good that he shows.
Do me a favor.
Don't do jokes where you're an imbecile who doesn't get what's going on.
Because you just bought a game.
Because it's totally normal for you.
Like when you thought my wife got a neck tattoo.
I don't know.
She married you.
Home is where you feel the money.
This is my favorite part.
Watch him look at the camera.
And Rocket Mortgage helps you feel comfortable financing that home with a personalized and convenient experience centered around you.
Rocket Mortgage.
See that at the very end?
The cutest little spooky.
Spooky.
So that's what I was trying to remember.
We got a letter from some guy who goes, You're a fag.
You're a woman.
You talked about the Super Bowl, and you never mentioned the game once.
You just talked about the fucking commercials.
How does it feel to be a homosexual?
Like, yeah, I don't really know anything about football.
I watch the commercials just as much as I watch the game.
And the game was just shapes to me.
People running around.
I had trouble differentiating between San Francisco and Kansas City because their uniforms both had gold on them.
Solid Red Chiefs.
But yeah, it was a cool game, I guess.
But that's my point in a way.
The fact that I represent this paragon of masculinity and my friends are in jail for listening to my evil speeches and I'm seen as this violent fucking asshole shows you how bad masculinity is getting.
I'm a fag.
And Aquaman was in a commercial and his socks are off.
Yeah.
When you open up the Front of the car, and I look down, I just see alphabet soup.
I think the big thing is an air filter, yeah, and that must help.
I don't know, I guess you don't want to get like lint in the gas.
The thing at the front, I guess, is the transmission.
What does that do?
It helps you shift gear.
There's also a thing in the front of that.
Isn't that an air filter, too?
What's that doing?
That's just cooling the engine with air?
Think keeps the bugs out.
All those other pipes down the side, I mean, I know shit.
Same.
Actually, we really got to do that.
We got to go to a garage.
We have a guy in Baltimore that's just so fucking far.
But we have to go to a garage and shoot a few days of us just learning about cars.
What is it, Garage Rehab or something?
Maybe if we go to CPAC, we'll be in DC.
That's near there.
Maybe we could do two trips.
Last I checked, it was in Maryland, CPAC 2020.
CPAC is in Maryland?
That's even better because that's where Garage Rehab is.
Yeah.
Here we are planning.
Yeah, National Harbor, Maryland.
Yeah, but where is that?
That's probably right in DC.
Across from DC.
Yep.
You're right.
But still technically in the same state.
Also, sorry, Super Bowl stuff we didn't cover, and we just have to cover it.
All these evangelicals and Christians are mad about the halftime show, and they say it was too sexy.
Now, this is where I put on my Miles hat.
Who gives a shit?
Yes, there was a stripper pull.
I was in a room with my friend's three kids and my three kids.
We never even noticed.
Like, sure, there was a stripper pole, but we never really noticed that it was...
What I'm saying?
According to some Beta Cup Twitter feeds that I've seen, the Super Bowl 54 halftime show was inappropriate for children.
Someone needs to explain this to me because I don't get it.
How are two MILFs shaking their ass on national television for millions and millions of people to see, putting on an entertaining performance, how is that inappropriate?
I think the word you're looking for is motivating.
It is motivating to everybody.
But speaking of children, it's motivating the little girls that if they eat right, go to the gym, say their prayers, take their vitamins, do whatever surgery suggests they take.
They can look like that at 43 and 50 years old.
God, bodybuilders dress so fucking weird.
But see if you can find some evangelicals or religious people bitching about it.
It was all over Twitter.
This is what I separate from conservatives.
I hate this shit.
Women and single moms, what say you?
Kids in cages help J-Lo make powerful statement.
Oh, that's what the...
Oh, I didn't get that at all.
Yeah.
Oh, her daughter was one of them.
Her daughter was...
And then some people, and then the left was saying, look, it wasn't offensive.
Adam Driver had his shirt off.
Or sorry, Adam Levine.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is also insane because boys are different than girls.
But yeah, can we not, this is what I was saying yesterday.
Can we not become the new Puritans?
Can we not get pissed off at jokes and say, oh, that was too salacious?
Yeah, and there's going to be stuff like this out in the world.
I mean, you just, you know, tell your kids, don't look at that.
Drag queen story time?
No.
Drag queens in a hummus commercial?
Sure.
Sex ed, including blood play and anal sex, as Katie Hopkins pointed out?
No.
Children being allowed to see saucy dancing?
Sure.
Like, not one of us in that room.
And I was with an old lady too.
My friend's mom was there.
And it never occurred to us to be offended by that.
And you know what I noticed recently?
You can feel in your body the outrage, Gene, especially as a parent.
You can feel this little guy in there going, actually, that's kind of fucked up.
I wouldn't want my kids around that.
And you just have to kind of keep them there.
You know, you still have instincts.
And when they go too far, like when the Drag Queen Story Hour guy forgot to wear underwear.
Do you know about this?
We talked about it before.
They call him Flashing Kids.
And then his content.
I think I might have that, actually.
I was doing this.
I want to do a segment on why don't we care about kids?
I think it might be 38.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Yep.
No, I don't think it is.
Oh, flip.
No.
Why'd you say yep?
Because it was under drag cream story time, and that was the thing under the kids.
So I was like, oh, we got a match.
They say he did like a, he flashed them by opening his legs.
And he goes, no, I didn't.
I was in a rush.
I've only been doing drag for a year, and I forgot to put on panties.
Oh, okay.
I thought you didn't have panties on.
Now you forgot to put on panties or underwear, whatever the fuck you're supposed to wear.
So his, they blurred it there.
His defense is A, that I didn't do it on purpose.
Okay.
And B, I had like three pairs of brown nylons on, so you couldn't really see, make out my dick.
Fucking pathetic.
Some unturned stones from earlier in the week.
Sam Hyde is queueing on.
That's 20.
Gotcha.
Thank you.
How did they do this?
Why is that so small?
In other news today, it's stolen from mine behind the urban youth fashion label Teddy Fresh and viral meme video YouTube channel That Is the Plan?
Sam Hyde has been suspended from the LGBTQP media platform Twitter.
While many fear allegations of racism and extreme misogyny, one insider claims Hyde was pulled from Jack Dorsey's personal gay dating site and his affiliation with the hacker group Anominous.
Shot to death brutally just for being a brown body of color.
Now on to our number one Injustice of the Day.
Music critic and creator of the famed Needle Drop series, Sam Hyde, blasted off all teams.
People tell us we need to do more sketches like this.
This probably took six months.
in the United.
Join Reagan.
Do something man.
Indians around the world are holding a candlelight which is for this sacred account.
Okay, keep going.
Skip ahead.
This is all Fiverr.
It's got to be Fiverr.
What's that?
Like you pay people like a couple bucks to do something.
Right, right.
I'm offering you an Indian news broadcast.
He was just booted from Twitter.
So this has to be done.
Sam I. Oh, he was just booted from Twitter?
Yeah, like a couple weeks ago.
Wasn't he always booted from Twitter?
No, he had a new engine.
What was his new one?
Go halfway through.
Because people have probably seen this.
Nuclear crisis, domestic, cyber attack, flooding event in Israel, California, nuclear, sneak.
The call before the storm.
You are now banned from the computer.
Goodbye.
Edwards Air Force Base.
Subway.
McDonald.
Drop bombs.
Period.
Flax.
Flax.
Go.
Where we go one, we go one.
All patriots go.
A well-regulated militia.
Activation word.
Ronald McDonald.
Public highway congressman.
Pipe bomb.
Airport.
Weird passphrase go.
All true patriots now attack.
Now is the time for all true American militiamen to take up arms against the police.
Damn.
Everything Sam Hyde does is fucking awesome.
I can't believe I haven't seen that.
You haven't seen anything, Ryan?
I knew it existed, but I was just like, oh, wait.
It's like the Aquaman commercial.
You had heard about it.
Well, Sam Hyde.
How do you hear about something and not see it?
Like at a Super Bowl commercial?
Where'd you hear about it?
Well, I usually have a Gum Road subscription, but I haven't signed up, so I'd rather watch it on there.
What?
To support.
That doesn't explain the Super Bowl commercial.
How do you hear about a Super Bowl commercial?
Well, I was watching the actual game part of it, and then during the commercial, I would take a piss or eat some hors d'oeuvres.
Yeah, that's not my question.
You said you heard about that Jason Mora commercial.
And had no interest to search it now.
Yes, correct.
But how did you hear about it?
Because I was in the paper or on the internet.
Like, it says, oh, fucking this guy, you know, Aquaman.
I've never even seen that.
You read about it in the paper?
I saw it somewhere.
Somewhere where media hits.
Aquaman, you've never seen the movie.
That's not what we're talking about.
Why are you bringing up the movie now?
Because that's why I have no interest in seeing the commercial.
Somewhere, either somebody, like, I don't even, I couldn't tell you if it was on a billboard, like a fucking look, fucking Aquaman commercial.
Have you seen Velocapastor?
No.
I've heard of that 217.
That's about a priest who loses everything and he goes to the jungle to find himself where an accident happens and he all of a sudden has the power to become a Velociraptor.
So he comes back as a Velocirpastor.
That's amazing.
Why is his girlfriend so good at fighting?
Couldn't she have just been in the bed screaming?
With a lead singer of fun.
Sometimes I wake up.
How long has it been since your last confession?
Oh, it's been about two years.
I do drugs, sell drugs, murder people.
Why is that evil piece of shit always from Brooklyn?
I murder people.
They sound like Maddie Odell.
Last night, last night.
How's your Maddie Odell impersonation coming, by the way?
I haven't watched it in a while.
I haven't watched it.
No, I just sound like scary, scary, very good.
I haven't watched it in a while.
I have to see it.
You guys talk all the time about helping people.
This might actually mean your life, you can't by what?
Like a prison onsy?
Prison dress?
Look at that.
Dinosaur.
Did you see that?
Yeah, it was awesome.
Can't you buy a better dinosaur Can't you buy a better dinosaur just at any Halloween store?
What is it?
Hello?
That looks like a unique adventure.
Have you seen it?
No.
It looks awesome, though.
It does look pretty cool.
A guy at a bar brought it up last night because I came up with this brilliant idea.
It's very expensive, though.
You give my youngest boy, Johnny, $25 million to make a movie.
Yeah.
What do you think?
I've always liked the idea of like you give some lunatics.
We talked about that.
Remember that?
I was like, why don't you just give a lot of money and you venture capitalist, you do a venture capitalist thing too?
So what you do is, you obviously have hordes of production companies, professionals, screenwriters, everything surrounding this money.
And Johnny doesn't decide that we're going to have a giant turtle just walk down Main Street and then blow itself up.
Although he could put that in the movie.
So what we do is, and you film all this, you document this, where you sit down with Johnny and you're like, what kind of, this is how a movie works.
There's a first act, a second act, a third act.
The third act has to be crazy.
We usually have a problem at the beginning of the second act.
So you give him the basics, right?
And then there's a hero.
What do you want the hero to be?
A cop that's a dog.
Okay, dog cop.
Got it?
Who's his enemy?
A giant burrito robot.
Okay, we're writing that down.
And then he just writes a story.
You'd have to watch it, though, because I bet he would steal from one of his books.
And the next thing you know, you've got a copyright problem.
But then you get good actors and getting good at it if you...
To act it out with good dialogue and stuff.
But it's about a dog cop.
Maybe the dog cop could be an alcoholic and stuff, and you'd have good prosthetics, and it would look like a really cool dog cop, like Jeff Goldblum in the fly.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be awesome?
Yeah, that would be cool.
And you could, you, I don't know, we'll have to see the footage, but you could keep cutting back to the little kid saying, and then they got, there's no girls on the planet at all.
It's an America with all guys.
There could be a cut version and a straight version that you could just trick your friends with.
Well, I think it would end up being like Windy City Heat.
We'd cut back and forth to interviews and then show scenes.
Anyway, I mentioned that guy at the bar.
And he was like Velociraptor.
Oh, wait, I see here in my notes, I still have one more Super Bowl thing to say because it's relevant today.
Jay-Z and Beyonce sat down for the Super Bowl.
Which they sat down on a fist and a whoopee cushion.
I'd like them to sit down on a coronavirus butt plug.
What the fuck?
Like that guy shot his sister, dealt crack to people, ruined their lives, and then he wrote some limericks and became a billionaire.
And he goes, this place sucks.
Hey, if you shoot your sister and ruin your own community by dealing crack to it, but you write a fancy poem, we'll give you a billion dollars.
Fuck this.
This sucks.
Now this one's saying that the other people are sitting.
This is during the anthem.
If you have shared our outrage for Jay-Z and Beyonce, didn't notice the three other people sitting, you have legit deep-seated issues.
Yeah, well, they're just pussies, right?
That don't offend royalty.
It's probably like his assistant or something.
And then Beyonce is retarded.
But anyway, people go, oh, yeah?
So you're man at Jay-Z.
What about Trump?
And Trump, which is 1.5, was dancing a little bit like, again, this is why I don't want to become a prude because this is offensive.
Like these people, that guy, Andy Ostroy, is pretending that he gives a shit.
some russian dude Is that a sin?
Was that about to be a sit?
Yeah, after it's over.
Oh, yeah, no, I don't know.
Maybe he's trying to get closer to his wife.
Maybe.
And then here's another thing, Unturned Stone.
Sorry, we're cleaning out a lot of the...
Shit, I fucked up.
I'm not doing a very good job at today's show.
This is another video people keep sending me.
Please stop sending me this.
I sent it to Tucker and told him how jealous I was that I wasn't in this.
This is 1.9.
I must have been sent this 2,000 times.
I had a suit made that is exactly like this guy's suit, and I'm not even in the fucking audience.
Fuck you.
Trump will speak on behalf of Delta House.
Have you seen this, Swine?
I've seen the thumbnail.
Wasn't interested to click it.
Sorry.
Where was the thumbnail?
Somebody sent it to me or I saw it circulating on Twitter and everybody's tagging me in it and shit.
And they're like, dude, check this out.
And I'm like, who gives a shit?
I think we've heard enough, Mr. Chairman.
I was told I'd have a chance to.
That's enough.
The court will now render a decision.
Look, you said I could.
He said, that's it.
Let's finish this damn thing.
Blujah!
Blueshop!
Bluzhoup!
Greg Gutfeld gets to be in it?
Greg Guttfeld hates Trump.
Ted Cruz?
And then that handsome guy?
Ivanka?
The guy behind Ted Cruz, not Alex Jones, the other guy.
And then I guess that's Count, no, what's his name?
Dank memes guy.
Carpe danked him.
Benny Johnson.
Mark Rubio is there.
He can be there.
Mark Rubio shouldn't be there.
Lil Marco?
Alex Jones deserves to be there.
Sean Hannity deserves to be there.
Fucking I should be where Greg is.
God damn it.
I wish I knew the actor in the yellow so I could be like, and fucking he's there?
I don't think it's fair.
I'll tell you what's fair or what's not.
Alex Jones is perfect.
I know I should have been fucking D-Day.
Alex Jones could have been Flounder or someone.
There's a toad behind you.
President, do we have to listen to any more of this?
Point of parliamentary procedure.
You can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you, bad-mouth United States of America.
Gentlemen!
Oh, they cut out the whole speech.
Huh.
Carpe dunked him as Stork.
Stork wrote animal.
More Delta.
Ooh, that reminds me.
You see Niger Farage at the Brexit thing?
No.
What?
No, I heard about it, but I didn't click on it.
Well.
That was really good.
You didn't say anything about Brexit because we had the show before that happened.
Any thoughts?
On Brexit?
It's fucking awesome.
We've been toting Brexit forever.
And breakfast.
And breakfast.
I don't know which one I like more.
I like Brexit much more than breakfast, actually.
The county lady, excuse my language, at the EU thing, if you will, apparently you're not supposed to have your nation's flag.
And they're like, well, fuck you.
And then they pull that as flag.
The end of the world now across the West, in Europe, America, and elsewhere.
It is globalism against populism.
And you may loathe populism, but I tell you a funny thing, it's becoming very popular.
And it has great benefits.
No more financial contributions.
No more European Court of Justice.
No more common fisheries policy.
No more being talked down to.
No more being bullied.
No more gee Verhofstadt.
I mean, what's not to like?
I know you're going to miss us.
I know You want to ban our national flags, but we're going to wave you goodbye and we'll look forward in the future to working with you as sovereign if you disobey the rules.
Go back.
Did you just stop?
Did you just miss a major part?
There's no recording of that, or no, no, no, dude.
My thing here just covered up that one lady not waving a flag.
Oh, no, she got up and did it.
She was late to the party.
Woman in the workforce.
No more gee Verhofstadt.
I'm in.
No, you went back too far.
...our national flags, but we're going to wave you goodbye, and we'll look forward in the future to working with you as sovereign...
What?
Here we go.
No, her.
Oh, who would that be?
God, Detective Shitty strikes again.
Oh.
If you disobey the rules, you get cut off.
Could we please remove the flags?
That's a good 4D chest thing too, because you make her say, remove that flag.
Flags, please.
That's it.
It's all over.
Finished.
We've gone.
Thank you, thank you.
Could I please ask for quiet?
Goodbye.
So it all seems so juvenile, doesn't it?
If I may, say, Justin, a slight reference.
No, I like the Brexit cheering, but the EU cheering that they're leaving.
You know that Sam Hyde thing reminds me of Hassan Piker.
He's a young Turks chief, Muslim.
He's Turkish.
And I don't know if he's Muslim, but that's his background.
And he did a commercial.
No, it's in the fucking notes, cocksucker.
Okay, what number is it?
21.
This follows the Sam Hyde.
Yeah, this is a clothing ad, I think.
He's very pro-Islam liberal.
One of the greatest people are facing.
The biggest scourge that affects our society against all of the cultural and social progress we've seen is the battle against intellectual thought.
Are you guys comfortable with that?
This is a war against critical thinking.
The war against critical thinking.
You mean you people calling everyone a Nazi and trying to have them shut down?
You mean the war on free speech?
You fucking tard?
Intellectualism is a war, war, war against rational behavior.
And we're not even aware of it.
He's dead serious?
Yeah.
This isn't a joke.
And that's terrifying.
What kind of an example are we setting?
The problem with America is that because of...
Let me guess.
We're all human beings and love is love?
Literally teaching the rest of the world how to think.
What to wear.
This is mixed very poorly.
We're teaching the rest of the world how to think and what to wear.
You mean like teachers teaching our children that America was built on slavery and our land was stolen from the Indians?
You mean that kind of brainwashing?
The Kardashians are lying to you.
Culture used to be the backbone of the resistance.
All it seeks to do is...
Culture used to be the backbone of the resistance.
That's not even close to true.
Do you mean like Berkeley when they were for free speech and stuff?
So, I mean, this sounds like he's criticizing liberals.
Is he talking about the hippies?
When was culture the backbone of resistance?
I think that's what he means, yeah.
Sedate the masses.
Culture now seeks to appeal to our primal urges, our base needs.
We're now in the age of mediocracy.
You can bring about the positive change.
I'm in the middle of a mediocre video.
What I see in this world because the revolution will not be televised.
Revolution will not be televised.
Only you can bring about the revolution by taking it to the street.
Keep resisting.
This guy's still.
This girl's going to be upset if we don't talk about fashion.
You know what I mean?
His unpurpose.
What a fucking rebel.
Yeah, I'll do a clothing ad.
I'll do it to start a revolution.
The girl's going to be really pissed that we didn't add this here.
Bedroomize on purpose.
What a dude.
Whoops.
Too bad.
I did this back when Trump was running.
Remember, it's 22.
Okay.
You suck today, Ryan.
I don't know what you were saying.
22 means I'm going to get on it.
Anything from that point on?
I'm going in the order of the notes.
You see why you suck?
That's a mistake.
They happen.
They're happening a lot.
wasa wasa wasa millennials what up what up me me me me me me me me me me I guess this is kind of different.
I'm here to tell you one simple fact.
Donald Trump's not getting in.
Don't vote for Trump.
Woo!
Now, now, now, now.
He is the worst.
He's literally Hitler.
Like, literally Hitler.
All right, that's enough.
We don't want Trump.
Can you hear me?
I hope so.
Finally, in the news, before we get to the mailbag, what the fuck is going on with Michael Malis?
I love him.
I consider him a good friend.
I have a lot of respect for him.
I have accused him to his face of being gay.
I don't see that as an insult.
I think it's strange that he would hold that from us.
He says, no, you're wrong, Gavin.
That's not a good theory.
I don't know why he has washboard abs.
That seems very strange to me for a straight man to have.
And then he appears on Dave Rubin dressed as Grace Jones.
They used the wrong photo for him.
He tweeted out that every other campaign gets to have people who represent them.
What Is happening here?
He's a troll.
It's like fucking Ross Perot and Tulsi Gabbard had a baby.
What is going on with this little blonde thing?
That's like a pickup artist thing.
They say to nerds, like, get contacts and have a flash of blonde in your hair.
Yeah.
What is he thinking?
He's gone goddamn.
I've never seen a male that I know wear a blazer with no shirt on.
Not even Milo would do that.
With a shaved chest.
Yeah.
Go.
Shows.
But with him, it has to be him personally.
So when people on the left are starting to realize, oh, this isn't about Republican versus Democrat.
This is about us versus them.
And you could just as easily be a Democrat and be a them, eyes are opening, and that is a very, very healthy phenomenon.
I always say that the corporate press is the enemy of the people, and I think that's the moderate position.
See, everything he's saying is very intelligent.
Is there a wide?
This is the Rubin report, and according to a Russian bot farm.
See, Rubin report.
There we go.
There we go.
Okay, get me out of here.
What the fuck is going on there?
Just socks on, but just socks?
Yes.
What?
Yeah.
Are those definitely socks?
Those are socks.
And then his pants are kind of bell-bottom-y, and they look very thin.
It looks like I can almost see through the fabric.
So I'm not sure they came with the blazer.
What the Sam hell was he thinking?
Maybe somebody came on the blazer.
Dude, but he's been known to purpose eat gross shit like bubblegum flavored ice cream.
Doesn't that make you angry just hearing about?
So bubblegum-flavored ice cream, he likes to say it's a cute.
Bubblegum-flavored ice cream is delicious.
What are you talking about?
Ew.
No, it's not.
Gross ice cream is like spiders and salt and stuff.
Spiders?
Bubblegum is a totally common flavor at an ice cream store.
It's a different between bad and hell.
Have you been to an ice cream store?
You've heard of them.
You just haven't gone.
I've been.
That one I have been to.
But he trolls all the time.
He spells things the wrong way and loves it.
Try to correct me.
I dare you.
Because technically I'm right.
You know, because that's supposed to be your welcome.
Yeah, that's mine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The cover on my book says you're stupid.
Yes.
Why are you?
He stole that from me.
I think.
Because I know he was a fan of my book.
Right.
Fucker.
But he's always trolling and making mistakes so that way people say something.
And I think it's because it's a way to put him above criticism because he's like, I did that on purpose.
Yeah.
Well, when you're dressed as Grace Jones, you're taking the troll a little too far.
Yeah.
Okay, here's one thing I want to get to before the letters.
This idiotic trans discussion.
I mean, remember that Bernie Sanders woman at the beginning of the show who says we're all human beings and love is love and we weren't around when the Bible was written and blah, blah, blah?
Trans are just as bad at this.
This is, sorry, 45A and B. It's this discussion where they're talking about pronouns and it's all these like lesbians on testosterone and gays on estrogen just being a human mess.
And I don't know what it's about.
What is it called?
Head over heels.
Head over heels.
So I guess there's a trans musical on Broadway called Head Over Heels.
So that's a chick in the vest and that's a chick in the white short-sleeved shirt.
I love when these lesbians get mustaches and think they look like a dude.
Then there's Lizzo.
Then Lizzo, and I think that's a dude on the far end.
Like the Indian guy.
We'll see.
Peppermint, Gino Raquero, Rain Dove, Chase Strangio, Ponty Milligan, and Taylor Imam Jones.
Chase Strangio looks like you caught Strangio.
Why are there seven names and four people?
Which ones?
Where's Peppermint at?
In Lizzo's stomach, maybe?
That was mean and I'm sorry.
Why do you have closed caption on?
Is that mistake number 389?
Yeah.
All right.
I don't want to watch any of that.
Go forward, isn't there...
So much has happened, right?
So it's important to understand the context in which we're at right now.
Have you noticed they always say things are important to understand while they speak gobbledygook?
It's like a Japanese noise terror band playing music and talking about how important it is to decipher the notes.
I can't hear anything.
I haven't heard a coherent sentence.
There's so much more that needs to be done, but it's important to understand that there's so many people, especially the pioneers, who suffered basically for paving the way for so many people.
I want to talk about coming out, and your TED Talk, Junior, I think, is really beautiful.
Everyone should go watch it.
It was titled Why I Must Come Out.
And something about that word must.
He's hiding his wooden spoon in a peculiar area for the word must.
Why I must come out.
And something about that word must just sort of struck me.
I didn't title that top, by the way.
So it's important to even have that, you know.
But certainly, you know, I...
You look like that dude from fucking Harry Potter.
Oh, yeah.
For me, growing up in the middle of the day.
Sergeant Potter's Lonely Hearts Club meant Leo Days.
Telling my mom, mom, this is my hair.
This is me coming out at 5.
Wait, I want to hear someone else's story.
See that guy in the vest with the bottle.
She's mansplaining.
Yeah, the man is dominating the whole thing.
There we go.
There we go.
He's good.
Frustration, our marginalization, and the feel-good Cinderella story that someone finally sees us to sell us something that is a beauty product that has ugly practices.
And I really do want to encourage you all: like, if you take something away from this, it's to just continue to educate yourself and really do the work.
There are some birth rate activities.
It's important to understand that can scan the barcode or even like the UPC code on all products.
So if you have a favorite product.
Oh, so now we're hearing about it's important to buy beauty products that are ethically tested.
A lot of homework.
While we discuss head over heels on Broadway, go back to the beginning of that thing.
I thought I timestamped that.
Our talent.
It's important to understand that.
I'd like to build on that a little bit, if I might.
Is that a thing?
Yes, you should build on it.
We just want to open it up to questions.
So if you have questions from the audience, please line up at one of the mics on either side.
Sorry to interrupt.
No, of course.
Yeah, so I mean, first of all, I was like, am I supposed to be here?
Because I don't identify as trans.
However, a lot of times people who fall within like the non-binary spectrum are seen as people within the trans community.
But I do experience a lot of transphobia.
And it was a really important thing, I think, that you did.
It was really important.
Imagine that thing naked.
Just this tall, lanky dude with weird tits and a penis and a vagina.
I just want to build on the idea of people behind the camera.
Right now, I just want to put a big warning out to everyone.
There are a lot of advertisements.
It is popular to have diversity in your ads right now.
But just because you see diversity in the ads doesn't mean anything.
You really have to research.
The talk I had where the part I remembered from that video was they asked her what her pronouns are.
And she says that she doesn't have pronouns.
Maybe it's on the same video.
705.
I mean, uh.
And she says that words are really powerful.
No, no, no.
Anyway, I don't think those timestamps are going to be.
Go to 45B.
That's the next link.
45B.
And I think you see them singing a song from the musical, which we should probably go check out.
So, I mean, first of all, I was like, am I supposed to see your time?
That's not a different timestamp?
Oh.
Oh, shit.
It's the same one, isn't it?
Yeah.
What about these?
Yeah, that's it.
Is that a guy?
I don't know.
With huge tips.
Yeah.
Wait, it does look like a guy.
Facially.
Thank you all again.
We are going to welcome back Bonnie Milligan and Taylor for a final performance.
Thank you.
Taylor Iman Jones.
Just pause.
You see the little woman in the mustache?
Like, look at her mannerisms.
It's funny because the trannies that become women, they're always like, you fucking say that again, I'll fucking knock you out.
Like Caitlin, what was it, Zoe Tour telling Ben Shapiro, you're going to go home in an ambulance, which is a dude thing to say when you're pissed off.
And then when they're boys with their little mustache, they still have these sort of female gestures.
They're scared of confrontation.
And, oh, sorry, let me just sashay out of here.
I'm updud.
So that's a guy?
You walk into the room and the temperature falls.
Cold disappears, chased away by the gathering storm.
I look up at the painted sky full of memories.
And this house has no roof to shelter me.
Is that your friend Dave from the radio?
No roof.
Dave Hell?
Shelter me.
Dave Hell stabbed me in the back.
That's why he's playing guitar?
That wasn't as funny as I hoped.
This show's kind of falling down the drain.
Let's go to the mailbag.
I think Carnie...
Let me touch it.
This one's from Jace.
Advice on how to deal with a bum.
I would imagine you wipe it as clean as you can.
Try to keep it moist.
Not moist, but when you're wiping, don't wipe too much with dry tissue.
I use a Biffy from biffy.com.
But I work out at a CrossFit type gym next to a shady motel.
Often I'm with just women.
And one time, a super cracked out bum from next door was standing in the window with his shirt off staring in.
One of the girls asked me to go out and say something.
Oh, they don't like...
If he was small or looked somewhat sane, I would have no problem.
However, he's a fairly big guy who looked crazy, had tats on his neck, and was definitely on something.
Yeah, that's pretty much the most dangerous human being there is.
Like, we have women working in homeless shelters in New York.
I think women would be much safer at a prison.
Luckily, after a few minutes, he walked away.
I did feel like a pussy for not doing anything, but I remember what you said about not engaging bums on the street.
No, I meant for your social life, dude.
How would you handle this situation so I could be better prepared if it happens again?
Thanks.
I want to fuck you with my heels on.
Jay.
Well, it's not like it's a full-out, all-out brawl or nothing.
I think you pussied out, my friend.
You could have opened the door and said, buddy, let's go.
Let's go.
Come on.
I'm going to call the cops or something like that.
Be lying, but some sort of move along type thing.
And then if he goes, maybe go back in and lock the door.
But you don't have to go out there and knock him out.
You could even just say, hey, man, the cops are coming.
Just get him to move along.
Move along.
Heidi, Clown World.
Hey, Gavin Ryan, I came across this Instagram account and had to send it your way.
Take a look and watch the videos on the page for a good laugh.
This appears to be a gay.
I don't know why we Assume such.
I don't laugh at gays.
I don't.
That would imply I cared about them.
That was a tease.
Psoriasis.zad.
Psoriasis.
Let's see some of the pictures.
You better be funny, lady.
Why are you showing me the videos?
He wanted, she said the video.
It looks very dark.
Yeah.
Why is that screen gray?
That's kind of his style.
No, no, stop.
The background is gray, Ryan.
You're fucking up again.
Oh, the background is gray because we're looking at the picture in the foreground.
This is what you want to see?
Sure.
Yeah.
All right, that's boring and a waste of time, Heidi.
Thanks a lot.
This one from Mark.
Hey, guys, I'm in a liberal lion den.
I would like to tell you a bit about a new job I have started.
I'm a lead generator for an Uberly Liberal solar power service provider.
I qualify homeowners for a federally funded program administered by the state of Illinois that allows homeowners to get solar panels on the roof of their home for no cost.
The most clown world thing about it is that only about 25% of homes in Illinois even qualify.
It is because of a combination of factors like house orientation, space, ownership status, a whole list of variables.
Leave it up to the state of Illinois to take federal monies to go about a program that realistic helps much less than 25% of people in the state.
It is also a problem when it comes to home reselling, which complements nicely with Illinois multiple-year streak of negative population growth.
As for the buffoons who I work with, they are all green little shits that bitch and moan about the racism of global warming.
What is that one again?
I guess it's because countries close to the equator will suffer more and they tend to be black and brown.
Their logic is so weird.
I remember when seeing, being in punk days, the bassist from the group CRASS, Pete Best or something, said that our anti-nuclear war stance is actually kind of racist.
What?
Why?
Well, if there is a global nuclear war, it's the lower countries that will be affected more than the mostly white countries.
So if you're...
Yeah, the white countries will be hurt more than the brown countries.
So nuclear war would actually be good for the world.
Wow.
Okay.
We were in a conference in which climate change was being pushed on us and it's total propaganda.
Afterwards, my boss, who was the single creepiest human being I've ever met, asked me privately about what I thought on climate change.
He obviously could tell I did not digest the medicine being administered by the company.
I told him it's a hoax pushed by China and big business to stifle the fire of American manufacturing.
Sure, that's a valid hypothesis.
He was appalled and shocked on my inability to accept something that, quote unquote, 98% of all scientists agree on.
To that, I responded with, didn't 98% of scientists think the sun revolved around the earth at one point?
He did not know what to say, but left angry, and I feel like I'm about to get fired.
And this is by Mike Nopst.
Yeah, that 98% was some academic who sent out a survey, and then she got that sample with those questions, and then she re-sent the new global warming questionnaire to that select focus group that had already answered favorably to the first round of questions.
So 98% of a very select group agree that we're dealing with a global crisis.
That's what you should have said, not some fucking shit from 700 years ago.
But yeah, so you think about that guy, and I say get fired, right?
So that guy gets fired.
Yeah.
If you don't agree with solar panels, don't sell them for a living.
Sorry, because you'll look back over your career.
I understand if it's just a band-aid to get you from A to B, but if it's your entire career and it's something that was bullshit, you won't feel good about yourself.
That's not a good legacy.
You were just a fucking con man your whole life.
So I'm not saying he should quit, but he should, I don't know, be so honest he gets fired.
Karen, come on, Gavin.
Copper Cab, 12 Minutes of My Life.
I won't get back.
Come on, Gavin.
Why, why, why would you give that over-the-top douche donkey his own show?
My husband and I are huge fans of GOML, although I do think it constantly sounds like Ryan needs to blow his nose.
But that is one contributor we'll be skipping.
His voice is comparable to Dumb and Dumber's most annoying sound in the world, and now it's stuck in my head as I'm about to walk into a meeting.
Thanks for that.
Anyway, turn up the good, turn down the suck.
Karen.
I disagree.
I know Copper Cab's not a huge fan of me or Censored.tv, but it may become our flagship show.
I think it's fucking amazing.
That's true.
This is from Kyle.
Copper Cab was terrible.
I don't know how much you're paying Copper Cab for his new show, but whatever it is, it is too much.
You should pay me for having endured that awful garbage.
I watched for five minutes and I had to turn it off.
Yeah, you got to give something more than five minutes.
Maybe quit shitting on Ryan so much.
Any tips on how to deal with being married to a liberal?
I married when I can't seem to figure it out.
Every time I think I got her red-pilled, every time I think I got her red-pilled, what?
She starts spewing leftism.
The more radical the left becomes, the more I see her starting to turn to the right, but she still won't commit.
She sometimes goes off about how racism is a crisis and that there are Nazis everywhere.
Then I'll show an article about some leftist politician shitting on the police and she starts to come back around.
He's a cop.
Do you and your wife just not talk politics?
We tried doing that, but everything has become so politicized it's hard to ignore.
This is my advice.
I find you can only tell her so much.
Like I'll say something like, can you believe fucking Alfred E. Newman thinks he won the Iowa caucus?
And she'll go, what?
Oh, man.
Now maybe one more.
And then you kind of have to drop it after that.
That's the end of that.
Because when you really bombard her with politics, it tends to be negative in this day and age, if you're, you know, a normal person.
Actually, it's probably negative for the left, too, right?
Because they lose their impeachment and all that shit.
You just become the negative guy.
You know, you're always courting your wife.
You guys are always dating.
You can never fart in front of her and just give up and just be a dick for three days and talk about how much the world sucks.
You always got to think: all right, have I been too negative today?
Yeah, I have.
I'm going to have, I'm either going to shut my mouth, get out of her way, or maybe have some upbeat stories.
All right.
Wait, I got a good, there's a good update from yesterday.
Sean King was lying on that white pillowcase to throw off the white balance in the video to make him look darker, Justin says.
Oh, I'm glad you interrupted the show for that.
That's his theory.
What do you think?
I think that's stupid.
Write in the comments below.
Oh, here's a good video to end with.
Number 53.
Wait.
Yeah, let's do both.
53 and...
This is Howard Stern mocking a deaf woman.
I kind of look at this and I go, this isn't funny.
It's fucking stupid.
And if she was my sister, I'd want to kill him.
But it kind of reminds me of a time where you could just do stupid jokes.
You could make a mistake.
I'm talking about her.
May I tell you you have a beautiful body?
Thank you.
You don't have to talk to me like that.
That's how I talk to girls.
God dang.
Are you a dancer?
Am I a dancer?
Nah.
How did your body get so beautiful?
You must do a tremendous amount of acting time.
Do you?
I eat a lot.
You don't?
I woke up.
Where do you want gun?
In the gym?
Women have a fountain time.
Excuse me, what?
I am talking here, please.
I am trying to pick up somebody.
I'm very attracted to this young lady.
That is real sick.
I don't know if you heard.
Doesn't that make you feel bad inside?
You know what I like about Anthony as opposed to he's got subtlety.
You know, Howard is just kind of like goof.
So I just think Anthony would do something like that, but just sneak it in.
Like there was this guy with this lisp that kept going, oh, I'm frozen.
And he just introduced a little lispy thing in there.
But the guy didn't know.
Oh, so Anthony's done that before and added a tiny lisp to a guy he's talking to?
Yeah, but it didn't make it obvious and didn't make the guy feel like shit.
It was just for everybody else to be like.
I'll have a slight Chinese accent.
Yes.
But I've never been caught.
Dude, that one time of the Uber was the most uncomfortable.
It was very uncomfortable.
Because he was like, oh, so I see a guy last night, very drunk.
Oh, it's a nice guy, though.
Nice.
Yeah, I talked exactly like him and he didn't notice.
Plus, being Chinese is not a handicap.
It's funny to mock someone's accent, but when someone can't speak because they're deaf.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's end on a much more obvious note.
I don't know what the fuck this video is.
Maybe I should do a green screen of it, but check this out.
Don't worry.
Never treat someone with disabilities as less than human.
Okay, thanks for the tip.
I really hope so.
It is.
Great acting so far.
Apologies for being late.
All right, stop, stop, stop, stop.
This does have to be a green screen.
Okay.
So how are we going to cut that?
We can just, you know what?
Why don't this let this be a tease for tomorrow?
Okay, that's a tease for tomorrow.
What a cobbled together show.
I liked it a lot, actually.
Really?
Yeah, because it took me all over the world.
It seemed like it was a jalapi.
Exactly.
But it was pot-parried, if you will.
What other details did I skip over from the inmate episode?
Jeff at Rikers, he went up to David Campbell when he arrived, the Antifa guy we saw at the beginning, and he said, hey, man, what's up?
I'm one of you guys.
Fuck, fuck Trump.
And the guy goes, oh, cool, cool.
And he goes, here's a pencil.
And he gave him a pencil, which is very rare in there.
It's a real privilege to have a pencil.
He gave him a pencil, and then they were getting along.
And then he started spilling the Antifa beans.
And he goes, yeah, it's crazy, man.
Whenever anything goes down with us, we have six free lawyers in the Bronx that just show up and start working for us.
I'd be like, let me borrow that pencil.
What are their names?
Free labor.
But we already saw that.
Remember, I did a whole thing on it on Caleb Perkins and Kai Russo and Finn Bar Sloanem, who had that same woman who worked with Chelsea Manning.
She magically appeared to get Caleb Perkins out of fucking elbowing a cop in the face.
So they get free lawyers.
We go bankrupt defending ourselves.
And can't even put up a fundraiser without getting shat on.
I wonder if that fundraiser is ready yet.
Hold on a second.
Her name.
No, not even close.
I'm looking for the lawyer's name.
Frick.
I don't care.
It's a Jewish name, if I recall.
All right, guys.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
When record shops were still on top, and vinyl was all that they stopped.
And the super info hiring was still drifting out in space.
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