All Episodes
Previous Next
Feb. 5, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:17:48
S02E121 - STATE OF THE UNION [2020-02-05 - S02E121 - STATE OF THE UNION]
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
I built a greenhouse.
I tried my best, but I guess.
I can't stop giving.
I can't stop giving.
I can't stop giving.
What are they called again?
That's an Australian band.
Cable ties?
Cable ties.
Cable ties.
Fun little band there from Down Under, Two Chicks in a Dew, little punk trio.
I think the punk sort of resurgence that Australia is going through right now is better than, I don't know, 70s punk movement in Britain.
All of that, like, I'm on a, what was that, Smoke Break song?
I'm on a Daigo.
What's it called?
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was a jam.
The town of like the Loserville or something?
Yeah, when I was headed there for that, that talking shit thing, I was guest hosting Penthouse, guest editing, and I did a whole thing on the Australian punk scene.
Fuckwit City is the place that you want to be.
No.
What?
That's not the sun.
That band goes back to the actual 70s, you fuckwit.
They were there for the first time around.
Oh, I can't stand it anymore Now we have to find out what that is.
What's the Australian Smoke Break song?
Australian punk band.
I'm on a Daigo.
Fuck.
And there's no smoking in it.
Smoco?
No, the chat's smoco.
That sounds right.
I'm going smoco.
Yeah, that's it.
So leave me alone.
I'm going smoco.
Interesting tidbit, there's no smoking in this video.
Notice all those videos were formatted not 1080p, but like this.
That's like everyone I went to high school with.
Yeah, what about these videos?
They're retro formatted for like old school televisions, not widescreen televisions.
It's two in the afternoon at 34 degrees.
The Queensland arch summer heat.
Had me sweating buckets up and down my street.
Cause there I spied the bloke perched atop of his milk crate thrown.
He eyed me off as I approached.
Then he said, I'm on smoke home.
So leave me alone.
I'm on smoke home.
So I'm just like, not Michael Malice.
I'm just like Nancy Pelosi.
Actually, I'm dressed like both people at the same time.
And I think it's throwing off the white balance for the show.
Maybe.
I look very dark.
That's like the same color creamy coat.
She's got more.
She's double-breasted.
You know, she has fucking gigantic jugs.
Yeah, look at the nipple placement.
Look at the buttons.
That's goofy, isn't it?
That's so tacky.
It is tacky.
Check out my tits.
What do you think?
Wow.
Nancy Polgrossi.
So the State of the Union was a smashing success last night.
We failed you, the viewer, by not live broadcasting it.
I apologize for that.
It actually didn't occur to me.
My problem with State of the Unions is everything seems so scripted and predictable, and the Tuskegee men come out, and this is a handicapped boy that I taught how to fly, and this is America's great.
I don't know, especially with an off-the-cuff king like Donald Trump.
I kind of don't like seeing him in scripted environments.
It throws me off.
Those lines on that book learning.
So let's go through all the things that you've seen.
Very petty.
Very tom petty in court.
There was the no handshake thing where Pelosi put out her hand and he said, fuck you.
Now, anyone who's known of Trump before, how many times have you been in that situation, huh?
Happens.
Hey, oh, all right.
Or you have your high five out and, oh, alrighty.
Or you go for a kiss on that first date, and then she just sort of pulls away and you're sort of left going, ooh.
And as you're going, ooh, you're thinking, this whole fucking night was a waste.
All those beers, all that talking.
I could have fucked Nancy.
And I turned her down for you, and you're not interested.
Why'd you come back to my house?
Oh, because I have Coke.
Okay.
Well, that's rape.
You always have to look for somebody when you have to make eye contact with somebody after you've gotten snuffed to be like, I know what happened.
Well, it took me a long time to figure this out, but eventually I just started doing jokes.
So I would go, and then I go, all right, not looking like it's happening here.
I could wait a little longer, but that saves it.
That's pretty good.
Trump always, back, I've known of him since I was a kid, and his thing has always been, someone fucks with you, you fuck them over twice as hard.
And it's great advice.
Even with friends, let me explain.
When you're in junior high and you're playing Punch Buggy Red or something and someone bonks you, then you go, oh, geez, yeah, you saw how much fucking the next time it's your turn.
Just fucking.
I don't mean punch them in the balls Or do anything outside of the normal rules, but just make sure you just do it a little bit harder.
And that sends out a message to the world, but more importantly, to you: don't fuck with me.
Fuck around and find out.
FOFA.
And that's Trump's secret to successful businessing.
So you tried to impeach me?
I don't shake your hand.
It's kind of unchristian because it's really about not forgiving.
But I will concede that's my number one problem with Christianity is the forgiveness thing.
And judging from the sermons at my church, it's real important.
You can't really, it's like Jesus.
You can't go to church and go, I'm not a Jesus guy, but I love everything else.
They go, well, then you're a Jew.
If you're not into forgiveness, you're not a Christian.
Forgiveness helps you, not the other person.
That's what they keep saying.
Yeah, it does.
They're rent-free in your head.
Making you feel poopy.
Yeah, I hear that.
I need a pen.
Yeah, I know all the things.
Yeah, I got one.
No, that's gross.
That's a great pen.
I want the get-off-my-lawn pen.
Oh, the G-O-M-L-P.
Yeah.
That was pretty good.
I just had one.
Shaisa.
Anyway, so that's, we got to cover that.
We covered it very, very well.
We really got into it.
The other big thing was, of course, the ripping.
She ripped it up.
She pretended that was the reverend thing to do.
Look at that.
Liberals love it.
Look at Deborah messing.
Oh, this is so awesome.
Somebody pointed it out.
How is her argument this was the right thing to do?
I think she, so you can't sell it on eBay?
That's like, oh, that's been read.
I don't want it anymore.
It's like you're throwing the papers.
Meanwhile, she's obviously into selling things.
You saw the bullet pens she had for the impeachment thing.
She had about 100.
Remember those?
I think Trump actually made fun of her by giving away the markers to sign a bill.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
He was just handing out handfuls of markers.
These are Pelosis.
I can't do the show without a pen.
Alright, go get a pen.
Oh, okay.
I want Smokeo!
So leave me alone.
I want Smokeo.
Try to find that.
I'm going to have to settle for a pen in a blueprint.
Stupid blueprint.
You know, Kennedy from Fox Business, she's kind of OCD, and at every show, she has an entire thing of Sharpies.
Like, well, I guess, is this a Sharpie?
No, Sharpies, of all different colors.
All lined out, ready, organized, fresh.
You just had the pens.
Why'd you leave them?
What are you doing?
What, Pelosis?
Yeah.
Oh, I showed those.
Oh, okay.
And then we got the ripping, which was remarkably juvenile.
And am I biased for thinking that Trump's handshake thing wasn't juvenile, but her ripping thing was juvenile?
Because she fucked with him.
I don't want to shake your hand.
I'll look like a pussy.
You tried to get me fired and I'm going to shake your hand.
And then the problem with her ripping the thing was, you want to hand me the paper there?
It was not the one I ripped, the other one.
We had a backup plan.
That was only a prop.
But that speech, look at this shit they're putting in the post these days.
They're trying to get fashionable.
The speech he gave involved the Medal of Freedom, Rush Limbaugh getting that.
He talked about the Tuskegee spacemen?
Airmen.
The last spacemen here.
Great-grandson of a 100-year-old retired member of the Tuskegee Airmen was lauded by President Trump as a potential recruit for the new Space Force.
Yeah, his grandson, yep.
He talked about human rights and shat on Kim Jong-un.
It really, even the Daily Beast was saying this was the greatest State of the Union I've ever seen.
Wow.
Look at 13B.
And there was a few articles about that.
They called it the design to troll Democrats, and it worked.
But when she ripped that up, she was ripping up everything he put in the State of the Union.
So you're ripping up the Tuskegee airmen.
You're ripping up the jobs numbers.
You're ripping up all this positive American stuff.
It's the exact same as not standing for the American anthem.
This is the problem with the left these days.
Their attitude is, fuck America.
Fuck the national anthem.
No, no, no, no.
Trump doesn't own America.
You're not giving Trump a fuck you when you say fuck America.
You're giving me a fuck you.
You're giving war vets a fuck you.
What was this?
A military wife was reunited with her Army husband during President Trump's speech as he addressed Congress.
Trump surprised Amy Williams, who was sitting next to First Lady Amelia Trump, by bringing out her husband, Sergeant First Class Townsend Williams, who had been deployed for the past seven months in Afghanistan.
Let's see if we can watch that without crying.
You know what?
It's not a real tearful one, but it was a very nice moment.
Heavy burden on our nation's extraordinary military families, especially spouses like Amy Williams from Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and her two children, six-year-old Eliana and three-year-old Rowan.
Amy works full-time and volunteers countless hours, helping other military families.
For the past seven months, she has done it all while her husband, Sergeant First Last Townsend Williams, is in Afghanistan on his fourth deployment in the Middle East.
Amy's kids haven't seen their father's face in many months.
Amy, your family's sacrifice makes it possible for all of our families to live in safety and in peace, and we want to thank you.
Thank you, Amy.
Can we stand when we re-watch this?
Thank you.
Is that Rush Limbaugh with a cochlear implant?
Yeah.
He has a cochlear implant?
Or some sort of thing?
He just got diagnosed with lung cancer, so that might be part of that.
No, that's a cochlear implant, Ryan.
Oh, you were detective shitty.
All right.
Well, then.
Why would you have something drilled into your skull when you have terminal lung cancer?
sort of rich person chemo thing?
He got awarded the...
Ah.
He got awarded the highest thing.
The Medal of Freedom.
The Medal of Freedom.
And I don't like what he did with his hands or his face or his eyes.
Which is petty.
Oh, he sort of did like a praying thing?
And then his face, it was just overacted.
Talk about overact.
We'll have to watch that, but let's see this surprise.
There is one more thing.
Tonight we have a very special surprise.
I am thrilled to inform you that your husband is back from deployment.
He is here with us tonight, and we couldn't keep him waiting any longer.
Thank you.
Hey, Dad, I remember you.
Thank you.
This is bad because she had just decided that day right before Trump called her that she was going to file her divorce papers.
I got a little moist.
I got zero moist because I felt like the kids didn't bring it home.
The kids smiling there, so I was like, okay, that's good.
Yeah, but you know what you don't get about kids that age is?
You kind of forget who your dad is after seven months.
Like I would go away for four or five days on a business trip, but I'd come back.
And when my kids were that age, they'd sort of go, oh, hey.
The guy who told me no Pop-Tarts after nine.
Nice.
You're back.
Great.
Let's see Rush Limbaugh fuck up his Medal of Freedom.
Okay.
I saw there was a lot of backlash with the left.
They didn't like that he did this, that he got this, because he made fun of Michael J. Fox.
Rush Limbaugh has spoken for, I'm going to say, at least a million hours.
But they go through his million hours and they find he made fun of Michael J. Fox and he called a woman a slut for wanting to use birth control.
Now, the Michael J. Fox thing, he was talking about Parkinson's and what it's done to him.
He goes, and it's totally changed his, you know, his whole demeanor.
He's moving around.
That's not making fun of somebody.
He said he was faking it, though, too.
Oh, really?
He said he was putting it on.
Yeah, he doesn't believe it.
He was hamming it up.
Okay, that's pretty bad.
But the Sandra Fluck thing, he said, wait a minute, you're going to a Catholic school, you're demanding they pay for your birth control.
Isn't that the very definition of a slut?
You know, within that paradigm of a Catholic church, a woman wanting to sleep around?
And it was a question.
You'll notice a lot of this vilification is someone asking a question.
All right, can we see Rush?
Can we see Rush fuck everything up?
It's pretty bad.
Special man, beloved by millions of Americans who just received...
He holds a podium.
It's like a woman's ass.
It's like he's grabbing a pussy.
Grabbing the podium's pussy.
But what is good news is that he is the greatest fighter in the world.
I feel like if I cut Mike Pence with a knife, he would stare at me as he stitched it back up himself.
And there might be diodes that come out.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Is he a cyborg now?
I don't know.
Look, I'm making fun of him.
Oh, I'm Rush Limbaugh.
I have them in my head.
Choo-woo!
He doesn't know what to do with his hands.
It is, you know, my wife cried when Prince died.
And I said, but you haven't listened to any of his albums.
Who gives a shit?
He sucked for like the past 50 albums.
But Rush Limbaugh is different.
Rush Limbaugh is red-pilling and giving Americans hope on a daily basis.
That you have done for charity.
I am proud to announce tonight that you will be able to do it.
She won't look at him.
Yeah, she's terrible.
The country's highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
How are you helping by not looking at Rush?
He's not Medusa.
I think you've got to stand again, dude.
Thank you.
Oh, he didn't know?
I think his wife's like, great.
This is all I'm going to fucking hear about.
Could I have got this before I was dying?
I'm going to have it for like two weeks.
Fuck.
And in one month, we'll be giving him a Lamborghini and a $25 million house in Miami that he can enjoy for the rest of his days, and then we get it back.
It ends up costing like a thousand bucks.
What, Melania puts it on?
Yep.
Oh.
I'm going to walk to the top of the balcony and I'm going to put it on you, but on your ankle.
It's cute.
She must be so nervous.
You don't want to fuck that up.
You are now a vampire.
You don't clip that on and then it falls off onto the head of one of the people below.
We don't have clips in Estonia.
Take the scotch tape.
Do your best.
I can't hear you.
What are you saying?
My friend Dale's brother had a hearing aid when we were kids.
This is in the 70s.
And he would do this thing where he would make the sound it makes when it has feedback.
So they'd be watching TV and Dale would go, and his brother would be going, ah, fuck.
adjusting it, turning it down, and changing the frequencies.
What a great fucking way to pass time.
Ah, brothers.
You know what's funny about this, too, is that this was kind of deep in his whole thing.
He did a lot of like Oprah-like things, like look under your seat.
He gave this girl in Philly and her medal.
You get a medal of honor.
He really did.
There was this other girl and her mother, and they've been on this waiting list to pick a special school to not have these terrible schools or whatever.
And he's like, you won't have to wait any longer.
You're in.
And they're out.
Or whatever.
Scott's tots.
Yeah, and then he gave some other thing.
so it really felt like we were just like, he has stage four lung cancer, but the good news is we're getting rid of it tonight.
You have no cancer.
It really felt like he was just going to abolish the cancer from his body.
I was like, what are they going to do for him?
So the momentum.
You're getting a cancer pardon.
Yeah.
You're free to go.
Bye-bye, cancer.
Go home to mommy.
And then the cancer leaves her body, sucks into a jar that he seals up.
There's her cancer, stage four, trying to metastasize.
Throws it at Nancy's feet.
Okay, let's watch the highlights and then we'll stop talking about this so too.
Stato, the union.
Whoa.
Oh, I should have played that song by the Kinks.
Whoops.
I hate this shit.
Just show me the highlights.
It's all blacked out so I can look at it on my phone.
I am thrilled to report to you tonight that our economy is the best it has ever been.
Our military is completely rebuilt, with its power being unmatched anywhere in the world, and it's not even close.
Our borders are secure.
Our families are flourishing.
Our values are renewed.
Our pride is restored.
And for all of these reasons, I say to the people of our great country and to the members of Congress, the state of our Union is stronger than ever before.
Many politicians came and went pledging to change or replace NAFTA, only to do so, and then absolutely nothing happened.
But unlike so many who came before me, I keep my promises.
We did our job.
Our message to the terrorists is clear.
Unlike so many who came before me, I keep my promise.
And she's here going, what the fuck, fuck this guy.
Unlike so many who came before me, I keep my promises.
We did our job.
Our message to the terrorists is clear.
You will never get to the point.
He was always going through the notes.
He was always going through the notes.
If you attack our citizens, you forfeit your life.
We are working to finally end America's longest war and bring our troops back home.
Our troops back home.
We don't need to see that.
We just saw that.
He did a great, great, great thing.
Amy works full-time and volunteers countless hours helping other military.
We have a very spependized back good news is that he is the greatest fighter and winner, socialist limbo thing, legitimate ruler, a tyrant who brutalizes his people.
But Maduro's grip on tyranny will be smashed and broken.
Here this evening is a brave man who carries with him the hopes, dreams, and aspirations of all Venezuelans.
Joining us in the gallery is the true and legitimate president of Venezuela, Juan Guaido.
Mr. President, please take this message back to you.
That's an interim?
Alex?
No, that's the interim president of Venezuela.
Thank you, Alex Rodriguez.
Fun stuff.
He did some other things that might be worth mentioning.
Okay, what do you got?
Like, so, all right, so he was talking about illegal.
I'm working on it.
Illegal immigrants that go out because of sanctuary cities, they get released and kill a bunch of people.
So he outlined the brutal murders.
Brutal murders, blah, blah, blah.
And then one of the family members of the person that was shot eight times by this five-time convicted assault and robbery illegal alien, he was released because of Sanctuary City stuff.
So he was there, and then he announced that he passed a thing, or I think he's trying to pass a thing, that allows you to sue the sanctuary state or city.
If your family members, the repeat offender was there?
No, the family member of the victim.
Oh, I see.
And another thing he did was proposed a bill to put $50 million towards prenatal care for premature babies.
And there was a woman with a premature baby there.
And that was pretty nice.
I thought it was weird when she held up the premature baby and it went.
How did it know to do a little?
And that was such a weird wave.
It was like, hey, guys.
That's me.
Jim Henson was in the credits.
I did notice sort of a thin, clear rod.
Plexiglass rod.
All right.
I did notice a Build-A-Bear tag out of the foot.
That's what fucking is when you're married.
You're building a bear, but it's a little baby.
Build-a-baby.
You want to play Build-A-Baby?
That's pretty cool.
Another Unturned Stone we have is the Iowa caucus.
So Pete Buttigig won.
Total waste of time.
I don't know why anyone thinks he's going to win.
Middle America doesn't like gay sex.
But check out the coin toss.
You've probably seen it already, if you're not living under a rock, but it really is the worst coin toss I've ever seen.
Stop, stop, stop.
And he's so bad at this.
Like, get Penn and Teller to do it.
Go back to the beginning.
So he flicks it up.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Let me show you how to flip a coin, okay?
You hold it on your thumb like that, right?
And you go, boop, it lands in your hand.
This doesn't matter.
Don't even look at it.
Whack-a-doodle, right?
Then you make sure it doesn't stick to your palm.
And then you look at it, heads.
It's heads.
What did this clown do?
Catches it, holds it, picks Lint off, then puts it in his palm of his hand, still doesn't like the result.
Then he flips it with his hand, still doesn't like the result.
What?
Then he picks it up sideways and reads it like it's...
What?
He reads it like the Actor of the Year Award goes to?
Like, what is this?
One?
Two?
Three?
What?
Four.
Wow.
And then he just reads it.
Wow.
Isn't that fucking retarded?
What did Dave Smith say about that?
Is that?
Like a joke?
Is this the precious democracy that I'm supposed to be worried about Russia undermining?
And speaking of democracy, we have James O'Keefe on the line.
So, James O'Keefe did excellent work undermining the Bernie Sanders campaign.
Oh, I found my pen.
It's in my pocket.
You know what was cool about the early aughts?
You'd have a digital camera, because phones didn't have cameras back then.
So digital camera in the right pocket, keys, I mean left pocket, keys in the right pocket, flip phone in one back pocket, wall in the other back pocket.
And if your pants were rigged fairly tight, you could just, the way you check to see if you have everything is just go, just feel it.
Just feel.
Yeah.
You look like you were exercising your kegle muscles.
And then that, and yeah, we're good.
Ready to go.
But he sent spies in, and Americans seem to have a problem with this.
They think we're catching people in their living room.
No, we're catching people who are taking our money, who are threatening to overpower our lives and eventually tell us what to do.
Those particular people need to be monitored.
No one is asking for free speech to be stifled.
No one is asking for people's private conversations to have to change.
But if you are campaigning to have power over me, I need total transparency.
I need to know what the fuck you're talking about.
I need to know what you're about before you take my money and tell me if I have to abort a baby.
Or sorry, if other people get to murder babies.
So it's perfectly legit what he did.
So he goes in there and he discovers these guys aren't just radical socialists.
They're radical communists who defend the worst of Soviet Russia, which Soviets don't do.
You don't hear Russians saying the gulags were okay.
No one likes the gulags.
The gulags, of course, were Russia was too cheap to have prisons.
They couldn't afford it.
So they would just send people out to go build a road, build a wall.
They would die in the process.
There was no respect for human life.
So he starts hearing these guys defend gulags, defend Soviet Russia, defend Stalin, defend genocide.
And he sees them talking about what's going to happen in the future.
How Milwaukee will fucking burn.
They talk about killing cops.
And these two conflate, the gulag and this attitude conflates when it comes to what's going to happen to us.
This is why you need to spy on these people.
What's going to happen to us after Bernie's elected is we are going to have to go to re-education camps, essentially gulags.
This is what they do.
What they do in North Korea is they send them to re-education camps where they teach them that they're wrong to doubt the government.
But while they're there, I might as well test out some stuff on your eyes to see if it causes infections.
You know, like corrupt makeup companies will practice on bunnies.
Communist countries will practice on human beings.
So we will have to go to Nazi re-education camps and denazify ourselves for years.
Like six years it'll take to get me to be a socialist.
And then I'll come out going, I understand now.
Sanders is the man, even though he will have already done his entire term and I'll be out.
What does it say?
Oh, half the country is going to have to be re-educated.
The country that are haters.
Can you kill me so we can read that?
What are you going to do with them?
I mean, you need something really radical.
What you're proposing is great, and I agree with you.
The best thing is by example, but that takes forever.
I mean, these people are angry.
Yeah.
They're not going to.
Yeah.
I mean, it is a huge source of anxiety for me.
So, I mean, it's like, that's definitely.
But, like, I think we have to think in those ways, right?
Absolutely.
So anyway, the Washington Post says this scoop is not a scoop.
It's just some random volunteers that were there one day, basically vagrant, whatever, anarchist psychos, and they can't vet volunteers.
So these volunteers come in and they work for Bernie.
And yeah, they say some stupid shit.
They're just nuts off the street.
And James O'Keefe goes, no, no, no, they're not random nuts.
They worked for Bernie.
In fact, look, here's their whatever it's called, their W-2 forms.
And what's it called, that form?
I forget what that's called.
F-E-something?
Yeah, something like that, an F-E-2.
Here, they're employees of the Bernie campaign.
Kyle Jurek gets paid.
He works.
This nut, Milwaukee Will Burn, works for Bernie Sanders.
And then Twitter goes, that's fucked up.
You're done.
You're locked unless you delete that tweet.
Now, we know what's really going on here is the big tech fat pig neckbeards who work at Twitter collecting data and running all their code.
They're all Bernie bros.
And they're trying to manipulate the election.
This is election meddling.
Let's ask James what he thinks of this latest controversy.
*music*
James, are you there?
I'm here.
Just so you know, I'm not, this isn't Michael Malice.
I'm dressed like Nancy Pelosi.
I couldn't figure out what character you were today or if that was just a new George Michael thing going on.
I tell you what I can't figure out.
What exactly did you do wrong?
Why are you suspended from Twitter?
This is one of those Kafka-esque nightmares situations.
I literally reported an FEC pay stub of the Bernie Sanders guy who talks about gulags.
Remember that video a few weeks ago?
He's talking about gulags and killing police officers and burning down Milwaukee if Bernie doesn't capture the nomination.
And I guess I'm assuming this.
They sent me an explanation saying you violated someone's privacy.
I'm trying to figure out what I did.
There it is.
I basically was trying to correct a Washington Post reporter who said that this man was a volunteer.
The Washington Post reported he's a volunteer.
I said, no, no, here's his FEC pay stub showing he's not a volunteer.
So Twitter suspends my account for posting what you're looking at right now, which is the FEC pay stub?
It's actually public information.
It's on the FEC website.
So I don't feel it's right to take that down.
So we're appealing that right now, trying to get Twitter to change their mind.
Well, I'm looking at the FEC pay stub, and there's no home address.
Their argument seems to be that you're doxxing them.
It's a pretty ridiculous argument.
I wish they would actually say that.
Instead, they just generally say I'm violating privacy.
But what makes this so interesting is that the Washington Post reporter, Dave Weigel, tweeted out incorrect false information.
He deleted that tweet.
He remains on Twitter.
If I send out false and inaccurate information, obviously they'd suspend our account.
So it's just a really strange situation right now.
It is bizarre.
But as a Canadian Brit, I'm used to this.
The Canadian Human Rights Commissions will attack you if you say a fact that offends a group.
And in Britain, we see the police arresting people for saying true things about grooming gangs.
So I just think this sort of socialist thought control has finally made it to our shores here in America.
It's gotten pretty mainstream with the Zero Hedge account being taken down.
My account is now suspended.
I think this is, I mean, I don't even, you've said this yourself.
I don't even curse on Twitter.
I don't, I don't say, I don't characterize things.
I am extremely factual.
Now, we do use hidden cameras.
They've never taken down a hidden camera expose.
So what is that if not theoretically, I mean, I don't think it's invading privacy because it's one party consenting to the conversation.
But like, they've never taken down a hidden camera expose.
All I do is report facts.
I really just focus on facts.
Some of these facts are pretty manifestly damning facts, but they're still facts.
It's an FEC pay stub.
And the Washington Post, by the way, CNN shows up on people's doorstops, you know, making fun of women who voted for Trump.
What is that, if not doxing people and violating their home addresses and so forth and so on?
So this is like, I think we've crossed the event horizon now, and it's just banned people for political reasons, I guess.
I'm also amazed, by the way, that there's no backlash against these Bernie supporters from social media, the SPLC.
I mean, they call all these other groups like Patriot Prayer, Proud Boys, whatever, they call them violent.
And then these guys are saying, I plan to burn this place down.
And these so-called left-wing hate watch groups don't seem to have a problem with it.
So it's clearly partisan.
I think the reason that is the case is because, and again, these are like outrageous statements.
If you haven't seen the clips, this is the guy in the Bernie Sanders campaign is praising Soviet Union gulags.
He says, we need to have re-education camps to denazify people.
I mean, imagine.
Which will take years, they say.
It'll take years to train.
Not even the paid staff organizer in Iowa for Trump, but the janitor was saying we need to have concentration camps, the guy that sweeps the floors.
This would be the front page of the New York Times every day for a month until they fired this man.
But this is like the new normal.
But in any event, this happens.
And the reason they don't fire this guy, Kyle Urich, I have a theory, and I think the theory is pretty close to reality, is that they'd have to fire like 100 people.
They'd have to fire like half of the Bernie bros would have to be fired.
So they have this alt, they have what I thought was a very difficult dichotomy.
Either, you know, fire the person or don't fire the person.
If they don't fire him, they'd receive all this shame.
But in 2020, they received no shame.
No one cares.
No blue check mark.
Twitter people think that it's outrageous that a guy who's a Soviet sympathizer, praising violence, killing cops, and needing gulags, nobody cares that this man is still employed.
That's why I tweeted out the FEC pay stub of this man.
I'm doing my duty as a reporter.
Right.
And Twitter has taken my account or suspended my account.
Therefore, we have the Kafka-S nightmare of which I speak.
So if you delete that tweet, will they reinstate your account?
Yes.
And that's my staff basically, O'Keefe, are you going to delete the tweet?
I said, not yet.
I'm going to appeal it.
I think it's wrong.
I mean, it's wrong.
What am I?
I have no credibility.
I report information.
The public has a right to know.
It's publicly available information.
They want me to delete my reporting.
So on one hand, I want to be pragmatic and I want to have my Twitter account to publish more exposés.
But on the other hand, I feel like I kind of need to die on this hill.
So I'm going to not delete that tweet.
I'm going to make a formal appeal to Twitter and I'm going to get ready for our next story launch through the Project Veritas Twitter, which still has 400,000 followers.
You're going to die with your boots on.
I'm going to die on this hill with my boots on.
Right on, James.
Thanks for coming on the show.
Thank you very much.
Cheers.
You know that people like you, they just don't do anything.
Oh, but tear each other down.
Oh, I just invented a new dance.
I started playing the air drums, and then I went like this and played a matching air drum.
And then I thought, why not make that a dance?
You can't do anything now.
So it's an air drum dance.
Kind of 80s.
I see you.
I feel very human league in this blazer.
I was working as a waitress in a cocktail, bar.
That much is true.
Can you find that song where it's just that sentence again and again and again?
Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail, bar.
So I want to talk to you about socialism while Ryan digs that up.
I got it.
Oh, you got it?
Music Yeah, this is the same size those Aussie videos are in.
Fit for Square TV.
Fit for Square TV.
You were working as a waitress in a cockpit bar in a cockpit ball.
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.
Working in a cockpit boy.
Jump ahead to her.
Jump ahead.
Just...
I'm sorry.
This is the only way I can hear this song now.
*music*
That must have taken like 40 hours.
I remember being a kid when this video came out and seeing her as the most beautiful creature imaginable.
Now she just looks like some frumpy fucking thought.
Yeah.
It's weird.
In the 80s, we were attracted to old ladies.
Like 30-year-olds.
Even, you know, Grease, Olivia Newton, John, the divinals, when I think about you, I touch myself.
They're all old bags.
Now it's pretty classic what they did for the halftime show then.
Kind of a nod to the classic.
What about that chick that was on the Sesame Street thing, Dancing with the Spider?
Or Maquel Welch?
That was my first boner.
I think I was eight.
Not that eight-year-olds should be sexualized.
Something, I wasn't ready to go pounding to go show her that my hips don't lie.
Off to the pounding.
But that was the first time I went, oh, this is a weird desire to have.
Desire.
Why does my stomach hurt?
Gay and fake.
I could see the strings.
So fake.
This is like the classic.
The cave days were like 300,000 years ago.
And they didn't have high-heeled shoes back then.
Okay.
Here's the problem with socialism.
It assumes that throwing money on the problem will make it go away.
That does not work.
For example, that much is not true.
The black community is in peril right now.
And 75% of black children are born out of wedlock.
14% of the population is responsible for 50% of the violent crimes.
They're suffering with test scores.
And I blame fatherhood.
The lack of fatherhood.
That first stat is what's linked to the second stat.
So how do we do that?
How do we bring fatherhood back to the black community?
You don't throw money on it.
You do the opposite.
Right now, single moms are incentivized to tell their baby daddy to go fuck off.
So they do.
And the next thing you know, you have this fatherless ghetto where women have babies as some sort of financial scam.
And these kids walk around without direction and get into trouble.
But the left, so how do you, so how do you solve the problem with black America?
You slowly, with attrition, slowly constrain welfare.
Ask for more volunteer work from people on welfare.
You provide food stamps that are not fully cooked chickens or cakes.
It's more like the way food stamps used to be with the words flour and sugar and stuff.
Just little tweaks like that.
This is what people don't get.
The same is true of illegal immigration.
Attrition, just slow tweaks.
Just make it a little harder to hire people without social security numbers.
And you'll see the Mexicans go home in droves.
You don't need a transformer to come in and go, Decepticon, and pick everyone up and whip them back over the wall.
Just little tweaks over time make a massive difference.
And those two are related.
You tweak welfare, so black families are incentivized to stay together.
You tweak illegal immigration, so Mexicans go home.
Now there's a job void.
Now these fathers have jobs.
Blacks need more jobs and they need more fathers.
And attrition is the way to do it.
Throwing money at it?
What?
That's idiotic.
And here's a perfect example of this.
There's this kid named Chauncey Black, right?
And what is it?
This story might be kind of old.
2016.
After outpouring of help from strangers, Chauncey Black's life has changed forever.
Look at that.
So this was a kid.
Where is this?
San Francisco or something?
So you dig that up.
Bartlett High School.
Yes?
I'm sorry.
No, I thought it was going to appear after Bartlett High School.
And it did not.
So this kid, this white guy, rich white guy, hippie socialist, sees this black kid as working and trying to get money for food.
I'll do odd jobs for food.
So he starts a GoFundMe form that raises $350,000.
Go to the next one.
You can't find out where this is?
Hi, y'all.
I don't want to drink.
So what's your whole name?
Chunks.
Just pause.
How about the way this white guy is talking to him?
They talk to blacks like they're their pets, and they affect this black accent.
Oh, yeah.
So what you want to do?
Yo, dog.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you know it.
I used to work with this guy who was in, he played basketball in college.
He was super tall.
He's a white guy, but he obviously spent hundreds of hours with black people.
And whenever we were doing a, whenever we had a black client or black people were around, he would morph into ghetto dude.
And it fucking drove me nuts.
And I always do the normal handshake and I never change my tone.
And I'd love this part of the story to say, and black people respect that.
And when they'd see him do this handshakes, they thought it was corny.
That's what I want the story to end as, but it's not true.
They were uncomfortable with the way I spoke and didn't do the handshake.
And when he went into that dude, they totally loved it and vibe with him.
And they'd be laughing their heads off and totally jiving.
And no one wanted to jive with the G-Dog.
He's from Memphis.
Oh, yeah, that was it.
Sorry, I knew that.
Memphis.
Which is a shithole.
Chauncy Black?
I thought it was Chauncey Jones.
Oh, okay.
You got a cool name.
Oh, you got a cool name, Chauncey Black.
Dope name.
Add the crowder.
I had wanted some donuts.
Yeah, he did.
So he got a bunch of people.
Did you hear that?
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, you did.
Damn straight, Chauncey Black.
You wanted some donuts up in this.
Yeah, too.
You know what, too?
We all like donuts.
You know what I'm saying?
We all like donuts.
He's so close to saying the N-word.
Yeah, nigga, you wanted donuts?
What'd you just say?
Nothing.
I'm not ready for that yet?
Okay.
Sorry, I jumped the gun.
So right now, we're eating Mexican ice cream.
That's pretty good.
I love it.
All right, so look.
You want to work, right?
You deal with your hands.
You just need some odd jobs.
Like, what do you like to do for work?
I like to cut grass.
Cut grass.
Wash cars.
Wash cars.
And I do a little cleaning up around, too.
By the way, as a side note, the illegal aliens are doing all this.
Right.
What do you like to do for work?
I like to cut grass.
By grass, I mean people.
Cut grass.
Wash cars.
By wash, I mean steel.
Wash cars.
And I do a little cleaning up around, too.
Breaking leaves.
Breaking leaves.
Yeah.
Okay.
Why are you translating for us?
Don't keep going back.
This video goes on for days.
Oh, I wasn't.
No, I just paused.
Uh-huh.
Basically, I can do about whatever anybody needs done.
So you're pretty much just like an all-in-all handyman.
That's cool, man.
You're trying to help your mom pay rent?
Yep.
So you were talking to me earlier about getting enough money to buy a go-kart and then getting a trailer on your go-kart.
And a pressure lost.
Mobile pressure.
Oh, you're laughing.
Not you.
Anyway, so that goes on.
And he raises $350,000.
He throws money at the problem.
So how does that go down?
Socialists, Bernie Bros.
Let's see what happens.
John C.'s grandmother.
We are in danger.
$300,000 that was raised through a GoFundMe account.
However, his family was a lot of people.
They raised $50,000.
WMC Action News 5's Bricks Fowler is live now with what the family is doing to stay safe.
Bricks.
Yeah, Kendall, it started off as such a positive story, but it seems to have turned negative because of all those threats.
Because of socialism.
Yeah.
He looks like a Muppet.
He looks like a teen Muppet.
Chauncey Black and his grandmother have now moved out of their home and into a hotel.
Now, let me walk you through this story.
Three weeks ago, Chauncey Black went to a Kroger in East Memphis and talked with a man named Matt White.
He offered to take his groceries to his car.
Look at that dude with the hair.
He is the problem.
He is the root of America's problem.
Would buy him a box of donuts.
Instead, White decided to buy him a whole bag of groceries.
He also set up a GoFundMe page to raise money to buy the teenager a lawnmower.
This was after finding out Black wanted to start a lawnmowing business.
Now, since buy him a lawnmower, right?
Chauncey's chance GoFundMe page has raised more than $300,000.
It's money Chauncey cannot access and is going towards his education and to help his family move into a new home.
Chauncey's grandmother talked about how this ordeal has affected her.
And we don't have any money.
And I'm just letting my family members know that we love them, but we're in danger.
Again, Chauncey and his grandmother.
Move out of their home and into a hotel for their safety.
That didn't go well and his education.
Maybe they can pay for his tuition at Harvard.
Then we end this with 1-8.
Chauncey Black, subject of viral 2016 fundraiser, now charged with second-degree murder.
Oh, boy.
Yep, they've now been charged.
So scroll up so I can read it.
One of four suspects arrested in connection to a deadly shooting in Cordova over the weekend may look familiar.
Chauncey Black, who is now 18 years old, was the boy who caught national attention after fundraising to get his family of poverty.
It was started in his name.
It was organized in 2016.
His effort to get his family food went viral after a local man helped them raise more than $300,000.
Those donations from around the country got Chauncey a new home.
Wait, I thought it was only for his education.
Maybe he gave in.
He was like, you know, whatever.
I ain't go to school.
That home is now the scene of a deadly shooting where Chauncey was arrested.
I really didn't expect this.
I really expect kids young like that would do something terrible like that, says Stephen Rodriguez, a neighbor who lives probably in a very nice area.
Perfect.
All right, that's enough of that.
Yeesh.
Let's go to a video I saw about adoption, which is one of the most retarded things I've ever seen in my fucking life.
And it shows you how mentally obese we are as a society, where you can do a video that says basically, don't punch babies in the face.
Babies are delicate.
And people go, well, thanks for the wake-up call.
Adoption, great solution if you're not fertile.
You can take fertility drugs, but you might make like octuplets or something.
So it's a risky business and it's not guaranteed.
Adoption is guaranteed.
My experience has been with my friends, people I know, they tend to get a black kid.
Not on purpose, but I think they would probably, white couples would probably want a white kid or even someone who has similar ethnic heritage, but there's way more black kids than white kids, so they end up with a black kid.
The only time I've seen white people get white kids is gays.
Like Perez Hilton has all the white kids he wants, even though judging by all the reality shows, he's never home.
Someone explained it to me that the mother giving it up can throw in a few, like, I wouldn't mind if it went to a gay couple.
That's kind of cool these days.
That's hot.
But the white people I know that have black kids don't give a shit about racism or even think about it, and they're very happy, and the kids having a great life.
But I can tell you that the way it goes is you go into the agency, you fill out mountains of paperwork, they interview you, blah, blah, blah.
And then you hear later about some potentials.
And when it's on, it's on.
You got to move fast, get to the hospital, whoosh.
And then you pray that they don't change their minds.
Anyway, what it isn't is a couple of geriatrics leaving their nursing home and going to an orphanage.
There aren't orphanages anymore.
You don't have like this big place with all these kids walking around and you just go in.
That's how you buy a puppy.
That's not how you adopt a kid.
But the guy who made this video clearly has no clue what he's talking about.
So he's just sort of gone with his hunch, basically other movies and stuff.
I think it's a foreigner, right?
What's this video called?
It's called Never Treat Someone with Disabilities as Less Than Human by Dar Mann.
Dar Mann, you see?
It's a foreigner.
So his knowledge of society comes from 1950s black and white movies.
Yet he's happy to tell us how to live our lives and how to improve our lives.
So let's look at these geriatrics at the orphanage, discuss what they're going to do.
Don't worry.
Today is our day.
Are they in their 70s?
Black don't crack.
So when you see a black person who looks like they're 60, that means they're 70.
Her hair is white.
We hope so.
It is.
Apologies for being late.
What a shitty actor.
Do you guys know how shiny he is?
The cost is going to be $2,500.
$2,500?
I don't know if they have fees.
Wait a minute.
Just pause.
you haven't worked out the price in advance.
You just show up at an orphanage with all the money you have, which is like 1100 bucks and just hope that it's, Because if you're going to buy a puppy, then you'd go, well, we'll see how much it is when we get to the pet store.
If you're going to adopt the child and you're there to take him home, well, you're going to have worked out the price.
They have the exact amount in the envelope, which is.
No, they don't, my friend.
No.
Sir.
We're so poor.
All we have is $1,000.
Please, is there any way you can help us?
I'm sorry.
Just pause.
Is this a Christmas story?
Is this Ebenezer Scrooge?
That doesn't work like that in the real world.
You can't just go to a place, especially dealing with something as important as human lives, and be like, here's some of the bill.
Can you find it in your heart to give me a cheaper kid?
All right, don't tell anyone.
I'll take it.
I'll take the cash.
Put it in my wallet.
I sell kids.
Please, sir.
We've been wanting to adopt for years.
Look at this orphanage.
Look.
So just pause.
This is an orphanage where they do the deals on the dining room table as random kids walk around and get something from the shelf, make maybe chocolate milk, maybe make some toast, have a Pop-Tart.
Hey, are you buying kids?
Because I'm a kid.
What's going on here?
What's the paperwork here?
Is this for Kevin?
Because I'm more available than Kevin.
If you can't pay the f ⁇ , sorry.
You stupid cripple.
Just pause.
What's he doing there?
What is she holding him for?
Is he going to go beat up the kid?
Motherfucker, don't drop those fucking Pop Tots.
It's okay, Ralph.
Look how old she is.
No, no, no, no.
It's okay.
He always does that.
He's fine.
He's what?
Blessed?
He's fine.
Oh.
But what about him?
Oh, you don't want that kid.
Just pause.
What universe have you created, Darman?
The fuck?
The kid's right there?
Like, he makes this insane world where you buy kids at a kitchen, and then you have the guy who runs the orphanage going, ah, he's a piece of shit gimp.
You don't want him.
And then he comes on to go, don't call people piece of shit gimps.
Yeah, thanks.
We're not.
He has a physical disability.
Oh.
He'll never be able to walk straight the rest of his life.
She's pissed now.
By the way, that's an incredibly offensive thing to say, no matter who you say it to.
Big picture here.
Doesn't matter who she is.
If you say it, if you yell it out your window, it's still a fucking horrible thing to say.
Look, you seem like a really nice couple.
So between us, you don't want that kid.
He's just practically worthless.
You could have him for free.
Pause again.
Back.
This is exactly like a pet store.
If you went to get a puppy and the puppy had two crippled front legs and was just sort of pushing along on some sawdust, I could totally see the owner of the pet store go, you can have this.
It's a runt.
You can have it for free.
I can totally envision that because that's a fucking animal, not a human being who speaks perfect English and says, I'm really sorry about that.
Yeah, not sorry enough, person with shitty legs.
Look at her.
You just said cripple to the wrong motherfucker.
I'm a cripple.
I've never seen a cripple wear a crutch, by the way.
I've seen them have that cane that goes on the forearm, but the only people I've ever seen wear crutches have a broken leg.
When's the last time you saw a cripple with a crutch?
Anyway, I could be wrong.
Oh, yeah.
Here's $1,000 up front.
He feels like a lot of people.
And we will make payments every single month until the full $2,500 is paid and not a penny less.
I haven't been able to have you noticed that I don't know how to delicately say this.
People of color tend to overact.
Is that maybe it's a cultural thing where in like Tyler Perry movies, more drama is required?
I don't know why.
But I have noticed this as a pattern.
And I apologize for noticing that pattern.
As a person of color, can I co-sign that?
Like, look at her eyebrows.
They're hogging up the scenery.
Walk straight my entire life.
Looks like two worms wrestling.
One right eyebrow has her left eyebrow in a chokehold.
Her left eyebrows are about to pass out.
Tap out, left eyebrow.
You can't breathe.
Bomir thought I was worthless.
Yeah, because you're not.
You just have a bad leg.
Now, I can't remember if she takes him home.
Sorry, I forgot I. I'm not at a puppy store.
Janeja.
Jaden.
Jaden, I'm worthless.
Would you like to come home with us?
Why really need it?
Yes.
That's it.
No papers signed.
Just come on home.
He's practically worthless.
Just pause.
So his boss is going to come home and go, hey, is Jayden around?
No, I gave him away.
Well, to who?
I don't know.
Some black couples seem nice.
They gave me a thousand bucks.
You're going to jail.
That's human trafficking.
That's, I don't know, prostitution, kidnapping?
That's a million crimes, you fucking retard.
You're the one who's handicapped.
God, that nobody gave up on me or thought I was worthless.
He's already going over in his mind.
It just happened 10 seconds here.
Somehow, they're just not as good as us.
That their lives aren't as important or exactly.
For three-year-olds, who the fuck is this guy?
As a healthy person.
The reality is, just because someone may walk, talk, or move differently than us on the inside, they're exactly the same.
By the way, deaf high schools tend to have really bad scores because deaf people tend to have other problems and learning disabilities and mental handicaps.
So only a percentage of deaf people are exactly like us, but they just can't hear.
The majority of deaf people have other problems, which is why deaf high schools are really bad and have terrible graduation rates, which is also why when you have a deaf kid, you should get a cochlear implant because you don't want him going to deaf schools.
Deaf schools suck.
Sorry.
But I'm not saying deaf people are less than human.
Nobody is saying that.
Nobody.
Maybe, maybe this video is effective for a very, very cruel five-year-old.
Otherwise, what the fuck are you talking about?
Dharman, what's his name?
Dharman.
He's the Dharman.
Darman.
And in fact, the biggest disability of all is the one people have on the inside when they judge others based on what they see on the outside.
As Easter Seals once said, the worst thing about a disability is that people see it before they see you.
Well, that's true because I didn't realize what a fucking piece of shit, retard, you are until you opened your mouth.
And now I see that you, unlike that little boy, Jaden, you're handicapped on the inside and perfectly normal on the outside.
So I hope you learned something from that.
When you see a handicapped person, don't see them as less than human.
For example, say, don't just like throw food at them, like dog food or something.
They're not animals.
People in wheelchairs, don't just roll them out of the road so they get hit by a truck.
Right?
Did you even know that?
No.
I feel bad.
You know who this guy is?
Dar man.
He is.
This is 19.
He was a gongrepreneur who was recently sentenced to five years of probation for getting money from the government to improve where now?
Look at him.
There he is.
That's the expert we just heard from.
An Oakland businessman.
Yeah, that's it.
Oakland.
Whose work in the marijuana industry earned him the moniker Gongrepreneur has been sentenced to five years probation for pocketing city grant money meant for building improvements.
That was the guy just telling you how to live.
That's sort of the theme of this show, isn't it?
All these people telling us how to live outside of the State of the Union, obviously, but like these socialists.
Dar Minder, Dar, Mann, 29, must also repay the city of Oakland 44 grand by April 1st under the plea deal, in which he pleaded no contest to five felony counts of defrauding the city.
According to the Almedia, blah, blah, blah.
He was sentenced Friday.
Mann owns a real estate company, a luxury car rental firm, and is the CEO of the hydroponics company We Grow.
He was featured on the June 2011 cover of Mother Jones magazine as a gandrepreneur in the medical marijuana business.
Again, that's just affirmative action too, where they see someone with a funny name who's doing something and Mother Jones has to get him on the front.
More socialism.
His parents operate Friendly Cab, Oakland's largest taxi service.
Oh, I thought he owned it.
All right.
Two other things in the news before we get to the letters.
There's a chick on The Bachelorette.
I saw The Bachelorette for the first time in a bar two days ago.
It is worth the hype.
I would make fun of Howard Stern and Jimmy Kimmel for talking about it all the time, but it is fucking hilarious.
And the fact that 20 girls talk about getting this guy's attention like they're all on the same page, like it's good for them, is just bizarre.
It really feels like you're watching Turkish television.
It doesn't feel American.
It feels like another country, another culture.
Anyway, one of the chicks did a photo shoot on the beach from Victoria's Secret.
And then they found out that she's a racist.
And you go, oh shit, that's fucked up.
The Bachelor's Peter Weber defends Victoria after their cosmopolitan cover was pulled.
Sorry, yeah, not Victoria's Secret.
The girl's name is Victoria.
So apparently, if you scroll down, she posed wearing a White Lives Matter shirt.
Which, by the way, what's the matter with that?
Nothing, but that's...
I mean, you know.
But it's not that, quote unquote, bad.
But you may not say White Lives Matter.
Like, why is there a controversy for it's okay to be white?
Why is it controversial to be against Sharia law?
I understand if you say white lives are more important.
But anyway, scroll down more.
I don't know if they have it on this one.
Oh, they don't have it.
See if you can dig this up.
Picture?
Yeah.
She was posing for a Save the Marlins campaign, the fish.
So apparently there's the red, no, blue marlins and white marlins are the two types that are endangered.
So this group, this conservation group, who maybe doesn't have the most savvy publicist marketing team in the world, had a, yeah, that's it.
WLM White Lives Matter.
So they have Blue Lives Matter, not meaning cops, but meaning Blue Marlin, and they have White Lives Matter, not meaning white people, meaning white marlin.
But that's the end of her.
You fucking bitch.
Don't ever say that White Lives Matter.
They don't.
White Lives Don't Matter.
And wouldn't it be funny if she posed for something that said white lives don't matter?
Let me see her there.
Oh.
White Lives Don't Matter.
Wow.
Again, fake tits on young girls.
What are you doing?
If she said blue lives don't matter, people wouldn't say anything.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
If she said white lives don't matter, that would have been cool.
Or blue lives suck also.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
This last.
Oh, no, we'll make that the final video.
Okay.
Let's quick rush to the mail.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
I was just involuntarily singing the song.
I didn't even notice I did it.
By the way, we have two new shows to announce.
Yes.
Gary's Mailbank, where a financially troubled local, who we often see outside begging for cigarettes, is invited into the building where he then reads the mail.
And he enjoys Fritos, so that gets on the mic a little bit.
I help guide him, and I ask him what he thinks of the letter and stuff.
And he's not the greatest reader in the world.
And the pages that he reads get quite dirty as he reads them.
But I want to.
We'll tweet a picture of that.
I want to ask you guys something.
Can you start sending in video letters?
I understand if you want to hide your face or whatever, but to Gary's mailbag, because he's so bad at reading, it would be easier if it was like, hi, Gary, I wanted to know if you think that girls should wear high-heeled shoes more than like two days a week or something like that.
Or he hates coffee, but he likes Diet Coke.
Hi, Gary.
I was wondering, why do you prefer Diet Coke to coffee?
And you'll get to know him as the show continues and the questions can be more pointed.
But video letters would be much appreciated.
And please send those to mailbag at censored.tv.
Mailbag at censored.tv.
And also, the Larry Barnes video where he went through his fight was incredibly popular.
And after talking to Larry today, I said, let's just keep doing this.
Like, you should hear him talk about, he has every fight memorized he's ever seen and the date and the day of the week and where it went wrong.
So he can start telling us his favorite fights of all time.
So we now have a sports show fighting with Larry Barnes.
That's true.
All right.
Ready?
Yes.
This is from Matt.
It's a request.
Hey, Gav, I have a request for sensor.tv, and I'm curious what you think about adding it.
A comment section below each video.
Yes, we are working on that, sir.
It's a slow slog.
Love the Copper Cab show from Richard.
Awesome.
From Robert.
Once again, someone in a time machine stole your idea.
Dear Gav, seems that once again, someone went in a time machine stole your idea before you even had it.
Check out the YouTube channel written by a kid.
I particularly recommend the first episode, Scary Smash.
Love the show, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Now, we checked this out before the show, and this isn't my point.
Brett, you're going to tell us a story today, right?
Yeah.
What would the title of that story be?
Scary Smash.
Scary Smash.
What's the plot, Tyler?
Was that guy who was inside a truck?
Yeah.
He's driving, but then a monster came.
A modster?
Why do kids always have a stuffed-up nose?
Hey, all children of the world, go like this.
What color was it?
Red.
What happened when he flipped the milk truck over?
He died.
The milkman died.
*music*
So anyway, that's lame.
That's, what do you call that animation?
Flash animation or whatever?
The After Effects, Flash animation.
After Effects?
No, no, no.
My whole point was it's a super slick movie.
Like that shitty new Terminator movie that's a bunch of badass broads kicking ass and saving the world, including a fucking midget Mexican chick who you would tower over.
She saves the world.
Yeah, she's the future of the resistance.
All right.
Okay.
Kicking the shit out of everyone who has a problem with it.
All right.
But that's the quality I want, that kind of budget.
Someone also told me there's a guy called Axe Cop, where a guy makes comics that are written by a kid.
Yeah, so do I. I draw what my kids tell me to.
I have a whole little book of my youngest son's sayings that I've drawn pictures for.
That's not interesting.
That's something you keep within the family.
My concept was 25 million.
And then someone else said, Well, why don't you crowdsource 260 grand or something more reasonable, or 26 grand and do a short?
Actually, my other son said that.
And I said, No, I've made cheap movies.
It's like five months of 12-hour days.
And then, like my last movie, which is this, Death of Cool as a movie, it's just sitting on a shelf.
It will never see the light of day because of an argument with the distributor.
Bull crap.
Can you see this?
Oh, Axcon.
to Zack's gun.
We have a gang of dinosaurs to kill.
So the new team went to the land of volcanoes and fought the gang of dinosaurs with their axe and flute.
I'll chop your hands off!
But girls aren't different than boys.
They're all the same.
I'm sure lots of girls wrote a story about a guy with an axe killing a gang of dinosaurs.
Was this written by a girl?
No.
Moron?
That's my point.
I was being sarcastic.
Don't do sarcasm.
You're not good enough.
You know what'd be cool?
What?
Speaking of ideas that are similar, but not as good.
Drunk history, right?
But instead of drunk history, it's a movie with all people that are actually bombed, like Johnny Depp and some other guy, and they're all drunk.
Okay.
But like really drunk.
All right, last letter.
This is from a girl named Chanity.
Just kidding.
Oh my God, what an effing smoke show.
Are we allowed to show her picture?
Probably.
Wait, don't show it until I read it.
Gavin, my guy.
Oh, not that I would ever cheat on my wife, but I still don't want women to be in a relationship.
I want them to want me and be single.
Like, I don't want to go to parties, but I want to get invited to them all.
I don't want to go to events and do a talk, but I want to be invited to events at a talk.
Why would she send pictures?
You don't like that?
Every time I get a picture.
She's confused.
Every time I get a letter from a woman, I wonder what she looks like.
I mean, is she an old?
I want to know my demographic.
Is she an old fat pig?
In this case, she's a fucking nine.
And she's fucking a nine, too.
Good looking.
Fucking nines, fuck nines.
Yeah, he is breathtaking.
He's a zaddy.
He's a sweet little treat.
Gavin, my guy and I have a debate that I think you have a habit of itching your nose.
I do, and I think it might be nerves.
I remember when I would do Fox News, I would get a cough, and I wouldn't have a cough before or after the show.
So I think it might be like my adrenaline pumping.
I don't think there's anything physical happening.
Like I don't think my mustache hairs are curling up into my nose because I do it 0% of the time at home.
We don't give a damn.
I didn't mean for it to come off.
He's adamant that your nose itches every time you touch it from your beard.
What?
This is a nose.
This is a beard.
We've got a good inch there.
I was hoping for a more intellectual mailbag for the first time, but this is as good as it gets.
Yeah, that's not very intellectual.
Boy, the hot ones aren't exactly brilliant, are they?
Yeah, no, I think it's nerves.
I don't think it's a mustache.
I'm just repeating myself now.
It's definitely not my beard.
What?
Is it my pubes?
Yeah, it's my pubes.
I get pubes in my face.
All right, we're out of time.
Fun show.
Thanks to James O'Keefe for coming on.
And thank you to Dar Mann for telling me that handicapped people are actually people.
I had no idea.
And finally, I'd like to end with a video of Demi Lovato that I stole from Milo.
By the way, before I tell you this, I got this from Milo, but Milo and Chadwick are mad at me.
For what?
Chadwick's mad at me for all the talk yesterday about Max because I got it from him.
Because he drove the six hours it takes to go visit Max in prison and got all that information, told me via text, and then I blurted it out.
Sorry, but I'm a blabber mouth.
Now, he did say that whole thing about how prison is like a shitty cruise.
He said, don't steal that.
And I guess I did technically steal it.
But I'm sorry, Chadwick.
You don't tell a blabber mouth a bunch of stuff if you don't want him to blab it unless you say, do not repeat any of this on your show.
Now, he did say that, I guess, about the cruise, but that was just one sentence.
And then Milo's mad at me for a totally different reason.
Louis Thoreau contacted me and said, oh, yeah, hello.
I was thinking about, I'm doing a documentary about the new ride.
And I thought that maybe it would be interesting to speak to you.
I go, is this going to, are you going to frame us as Nazis?
No, that's not all I'm interested in.
Absolutely not.
No, I'm talking about here in the age of Trump.
And he said, I said, yeah.
After talking to his team for like a couple hours, I thought, you know what?
Sure, let's do it.
And then Milo said, are you a fucking imbecile?
No, that's not how he talks.
Darling, what are you doing?
Louis Throat, that's a stitch-up, you fool.
And I said, really?
You think so?
And he just goes, he sent me Judge Judy, just going, oh.
I've gotten that one before him.
Yeah.
Got like two minutes on the card.
Two minutes on the card, I'm done.
So let's, I stole, yesterday I stole from Chadwick.
Today I'm stealing from Milo.
And your favorite dish.
My favorite dish.
I like mugs because they're very comfortable in your hand and they hold hot things that you don't have to touch.
You ruined that, Ryan.
I sent you the file for the airdrop.
There was no airdrop.
You never sent me an airdrop.
Well, it's probably on the other fucking computer.
You should have told me you didn't get it.
Oh.
Was it a meme instead of the actual one?
No, it's that, but it's not all wavy.
I don't think people could hear that.
We could hear it at home.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
But she thought a dish meant an actual.
That's the funny part.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
▲
Export Selection