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Jan. 29, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:08:12
S02E118 - TRUMP IN NJ [2020-01-29 - S02E118 - TRUMP IN NJ]
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Time Text
Mr. Sheavil Cigar, my daughter, come here, come and say, the body is yellow.
Tell them standing for me in the shark.
I have done no more.
You jump in.
Oh, I from New York.
It's get off my lawn with Devin McGuinness.
Tell me what you really want, all night No wonder punani, super make me name Me wante bode, im wante punani I mean no it nice So Thank you.
What happened here?
It doesn't look like anything's broken off.
But something's broken off.
Did that also happen after the documentary day?
What was the documentary day?
Where those fellas came by?
Yep.
Actually, I don't remember.
I think it was.
You know what I was thinking about that film crew?
They were from Oslo, right?
It was like the Norwegian BBC doing a documentary on the new right and how dangerous everything is, I assume.
It was a bold buddy of mine from the band Turbo Negro, which is why I agreed to do it.
But there was so much crapping on healthcare and the free market and capitalism and greed and money and, you know, left-wing bullshit.
And I didn't bring this up, but I realized you guys are on welfare.
You're not a real media broadcaster.
This show takes in money from subscribers, and that's what perpetuates it.
If the subscribers go away, we don't got a show.
That's not the case with them.
They don't have to answer to anyone.
So they're sitting there with this basically a charity network bitching at me.
Isn't that always the way?
I noticed that.
I did an interview with the CBC once in Canada, and they had done some, some guy had written a book about the commodification of rebellion, and it had Shay Guevara's face on a coffee cup.
That was the cover of the book.
And it was like, marketing the revolution or something like that.
It was all about how everything has to become marketing and money and it ruins everything and money, money, money.
And I said, isn't it kind of strange we're all sitting here at the taxpayer trough feeding on public taxes and talking about the evils of money?
And they canned the interview.
And they did what Canadians do.
British people do this too.
Instead of saying, oh, we can't air it, they said, yeah, we're currently going through it.
It's been rescheduled.
And they just kind of bore you to death.
So you're like, I don't care what happens to it.
Yeah.
And that way there's no confrontation.
There's no problem.
This is how Canada had the Canadian Revolution.
You know, the Brits had Mel Gibson.
I mean, the Americans had Mel Gibson and the Patriot running around killing everyone.
And in Canada, we just sort of bored them to death.
They're still technically the head of Canada.
If you look up Canada and Wikipedia, it says the queen is the head of state.
Couldn't see her instituting anything.
How about you get that pussy out of the White House or sorry, the Parliament buildings there, Queen Eliz?
She can't even fix her own goddamn house.
That opening song was Stephen Segal and Lady Saw.
The song is strut, and Lady Saw is known for her sexuality.
And when it combines with Stephen Segal, you get lust and passion and adult content.
This is going to be a very adult show, so maybe don't watch it if your kids are around.
But let's hear a little bit more of this sexy song and try at home, try not to get a boner.
And ladies, try not to need an always with wings because you're going to be so wet.
Did Stephen's go to say Punani?
Yeah.
Go back.
Now you know, let's have a shot of rum.
Let me come make you come.
To the ocean.
That's Steven Segal saying that.
Shadow Rum make you come.
He just said.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Keep going.
He talks about you want to stare at a butt, but you shouldn't do that.
Come, let me know, let's have a shot to run.
Then we can make you come into the ocean.
That would be fine.
You can be my battle cat.
Nice title breeze.
Bring it to your knees.
That lady saw's biggest hit, of course, is from many years ago, but it was a massive, massive hit in Jamaica.
And it was called, I wanna fuck you with my heels on you.
I wanna ride on you ding dung.
She is a four, and I highly recommend a four if you're just looking for recreational intercourse because they'll do anything.
And they're very thankful.
I know it's a cliche, but it's valid.
There she is.
Everything but her nose is fantastic.
She's a butter nose.
A butter nose.
it does look kind of like a stick of butter If anyone's making a playlist of all the Get Off My Lawn songs, I would skip Segal and put this one on.
Are you sure this is heels on?
Yeah, that's the intro there.
Oh, the intro has another song.
The tits aren't really filling up that corset.
Tonight, tonight.
Let us tear up the stair floor.
Tonight, tonight.
I want to give it to you, Oddball.
Tonight, tonight.
Let me fuck you with my heels on.
Yeah, let me ride on your ding-dong.
Ride on your ding-dong, okay?
I've been waiting for you so long.
Take me to the string song.
Let's fuck to a slow song.
She's not very subtle, is she?
This is a slow song.
To a slow song, yeah.
I'm gonna fuck you like my phone, yo.
This is not the radio edit.
I got mad.
I wanna feed you deep inside.
Babe, you know I got mad pray.
My madmak you up.
Looks like Ving Reigns.
She really does.
She's about to get medieval on that ass.
I can see you got a heart on.
Wait a minute.
Let me turn the base up.
That's Shaggy.
Looking a little worse for wear.
You know, in Jamaica, if you don't go home with the girl that you were talking to, no matter how ugly or fat, you're a blood-clad batty boy.
And everyone will not beat the shit out of you, but tease you forever.
It's like a fat person not eating a cheeseburger.
That just reminded me of another hit song.
The last we'll do.
Look up that Smell Your Dick.
Do you know that song?
It rings a bell.
Treat me mean and crude.
Let me smell your dick.
It's a beautiful R ⁇ B song about infidelity and how these ladies like to test that, which is to smell his piece.
Johnny Knoxville used to wear two pairs of underwear to avoid this very problem.
And he'd throw out the bottom ones.
So his underwear was always fresh.
I think, like the previous song and this song, it never occurred to them that this is raunchy or over the top.
It's just their way of life.
culture Like if you start laughing, they're like, why are you laughing at me?
What's so funny?
And she played this for her mom.
And her mom was like, that's really beautiful.
The whole family is like, yeah, I cried.
Grandmother, that's one of the nicest songs you've ever made, Daniqua.
And it's pointless.
And you're helping people because I might try that.
That's a handy tip.
Thanks, honey.
Why you coming home five in the morning?
Something's going on.
Can I smell you, dick?
Don't play me like a fool, cause they're what you need to do.
Maybe Dominican?
Why is our tampons freaking your foreskin?
Is that good luck?
It looks like dynamite.
Why you gotta do me like that?
Why you gotta do me like that?
All right, that's enough of that.
You like nigga, where you at?
I wanna smell.
See, the problem with this too is that these songs are gonna be stuck in our head.
Yeah.
And you're gonna be going to get a BLT later on.
And you'll be like, I wanna fuck you with the heels on.
It's not gonna leave my head at all.
I wanna ride on your ding-dong.
Yeah, well, white toasted, yeah.
Obviously, mayonnaise.
There's a Fat Joe song, and it's like, where my niggas with the real bitches?
Or where's my niggas with the big tits?
Something like that.
And it's men singing and then female singing.
And the female chorus is, where my niggas with the big dicks?
And then Fat Joe, or maybe it's Big Pun, is like, where my bitches with the big tits?
Or something like that.
And they go back and forth.
And my brother, I was in the car with him once.
And I put that on a mixtape.
So it was in his head.
And as he's like, turn the corner, he's like, where my niggas with the big dicks?
Are you trying to find them in your car?
Is that why we're driving around downtown?
You're trying to find some?
You want to fuck them with your heels on?
Let's use a green marker today.
So let's get down to the news.
Ryan went to Wildwood, New Jersey yesterday.
I didn't go because I don't have to.
And wait, Trump said something.
Oh, yeah.
2-0.
Trump in Jersey.
Now, he said, and everyone's laughing at him.
When you see me do a lot of these takes, a lot of the times I've said, oh, coming out of the job, job, fuck.
Then I leave and come back.
When you talk all the time, you fuck up words.
And most of us can say cut and start again.
But when you're at a podium, you can't.
So yes, God forbid Trump fucked up a word.
And yes, God forbid someone laughed.
Democrats decided to shield and shelter criminal.
Look, look, wait.
Perfect recovery.
Perfect recovery.
So when you go criminal, your natural instinct is like, look, sorry, hold on.
I got to stop.
So remember, remember Justin Trudeau with his, yes, we are drinking out of a plastic water bottle.
No, when we use a cardboard water bottle.
This is how not to save a fuck up.
...is okay to return to the house right now to be able to express directly to her my apologies for my behavior and my actions, unreservedly.
The opposite member, Whip, was being impeded in his progress.
Not so bad.
What a shitty example.
That's not the one.
There's the drink one, and then there's also the free trade one, where he goes, a trade surplus is where we buy, we take more steel than they, they, Yeah, that's the water bottle at the top there.
This one right here?
This one is great.
Does this mean that restaurants, for example, won't be able to use plastic cutlery?
And what would you have to say to small businesses who can't afford to make this massive change?
Well, this is exactly why we are taking the time over the coming year to analyze, based on science and data, what is the right path forward on banning harmful single-use plastics.
We know that there are perhaps unintended consequences we need to mitigate for.
We need to make sure we ensure that offer opportunities, the most significant crisis.
And what do you and your family do to cut back on plastics?
We have recently switched to drinking water bottles out of water, out of, when we have water bottles, out of a plastic, sorry, away from plastic towards paper, like drink box water bottles sort of things.
There's a number of choices we can make as consumers that will do better, and every consumer needs to look at smarter choices in their consumption.
Anyway, so you went down there.
Now I'm saying.
You went down there.
I did.
7,000, there was room for 7,000 people.
100,000 people responded.
We got in early, but you never got to show your ticket.
Getting in the venue was absolutely hopeless, right?
Yes.
There was a long line in like a baseball stadium, a baseball field, like a diamond cardboard, sorry, a baseball area.
Strike your app.
No.
A base cardboard.
Consumption, if you will.
And yeah, dude, there are people camped out there for a while.
We talked to this lady who was like number 34 in line, and then it's just like, she was there so long, she was like, she lost her spot, and then whatever.
So, but everybody was like, wait, she was there so much, she lost her spot?
She was there the day before, she was number 34 in line, and then she was like, I gotta like not be here for this.
But her family was telling me that she was like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're so bad at telling stories.
I gotta, like, not be here for this.
What does that mean?
I have to, like, not be online for a little bit.
Like, I need to go shower or poop or eat.
So she blew it.
She puts it up.
But her family was waiting in line.
But everybody was in good spirit.
There was nobody there.
Like, oh, sucks.
Everybody was happy.
I had an argument this morning, by the way.
I've had two arguments in the past two days.
Actually, three.
I'm at the DMV, and I'm there the second it opens, which is 8 a.m.
I get there at 7.50.
That's the secret to bureaucracy, folks.
Get there right before it opens, wait in line outside.
Boom, bang.
I was out of there by 8.11.
Nice.
But this Jamaican woman comes up, gets out of her car, which was parked in front of the place, and stands there, and she starts putting on her coat and stuff.
And we've already formed a line.
Not many people, like seven people.
And I go, excuse me.
She's like, I go, you're not getting in the line?
I was here first.
I was here almost an hour ago, you know.
And I go, okay, but you weren't in the line.
I couldn't stand outside because it was too cold.
So I had to wait in the car.
Well, I was here a week ago.
And I'm like, yeah.
I go, that's not how lines work.
And she goes, it was, she just kept repeating it.
It was too cold.
And then I go, oh, that sounds nice.
I don't want to get into a big to-do where there's seven people, whatever.
And I just go, oh, that's, I like that.
I like that idea.
You get to warm up.
It doesn't get my sarcasm, of course.
You get to warm up in the car.
That's fun.
Exactly.
Yeah, you can try it if you want.
One time I was getting off the plane in Jamaica and this Puerto Rican, this Jamaican 14-year-old fat pig who's like six feet tall just walks past me, which is my pet peeve.
I don't let anyone pass me on the plane.
Seat 19 can exit after seat 18, but before seat 20.
Everything's numbered.
So she squeezes out there.
Now she's stuck.
Now I can't get out.
And I go, it actually goes by seat.
So you'd be back there.
And then I'm after this guy because he was in front of me.
And then she, you know what her amazing comeback was?
No, it doesn't.
All right.
Well, that's the end of that debate.
Jamaican women don't seem to know the basic rules of waiting in line.
Come to think of it.
They don't know tic-tac-toe either.
When I was a kid, my Jamaican friend Ashley, typical Jamaican name too, right?
Sebastian Ashley.
Duncan.
They always have Scottish names.
Yeah.
But I blocked him in tic-tac-toe.
He's like, you're cheating.
And I was like, you're retarded or Jamaican.
You're Jamaican me crazy.
All right.
So I got some clips.
Okay, so wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Let's back it up.
So yeah, I guess we're ready for your clips.
Now, I didn't want you to get in because inside, first of all, getting a camera in there would be a nightmare, blah, blah, blah.
But inside, we're just going to see the speech that everyone can see.
That's going to be all over the news.
Doy.
Now you're the guy at the Steel Panther concert recording this show.
We could.
It's like Anthony Cumia when on Veterans Day or whatever, we go on Keith's boat and we watch the fighter jets.
And he's sitting there with his fucking $7,000 camera, zooming in, trying to get them as they whip by.
It's like, Ant, all of these planes will be online.
Yeah.
Like, what are you going to do with that picture?
Nothing.
But I took it.
Yeah.
And he admits, he goes, I know, it's retarded.
I can't explain it.
Even on like fights, I'll see something really exciting.
And then I'm like, how about that's a story instead of a shitty video?
I actually don't even want to see his speech because if it's not totally off the cuff, then it's just like, we're going to work together and everyone's going to be friends and we make him.
And I don't care about platitudes.
They're not interesting to me.
I don't watch presidential debates.
His speech, I watched it on the way home and it was great.
Here's the thing about Trump.
You know he's reading, but you don't know where the line is.
When is he going off the script?
When is he not?
It's like still exciting.
You're kind of like, how's he doing this?
All right, look, stop.
He's so good.
He's so good.
So, anyways, so I love Wildwood.
So being there was great.
And you know what I noticed?
I think even the protesters here, which you'll see, they were all like civil, like they were nice people.
Oh, I wanted to bring that up.
Why don't you go to a Black Lives Matter rally with 100,000 people and protest it and say, this is bullshit.
You guys are framing cops as racist.
You're full of shit.
And see how well you do.
I mean, the irony is that the average American and Trump supporter is seen as the most racist, bigoted, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Meanwhile, We're the nicest guys, we're the sweeties, we're the safest people.
We're so safe, you can come into the rally, put on a clan hood, and be safe.
Like, imagine doing that at a rap concert and being like, This band sucks!
Yeah, you'd be sewing machine stabbed.
Yeah, talked to the cops afterwards.
They were like, Yeah, this has been great.
It's clean.
Look at the streets are clean.
Look at the Virginia rally where they cleaned up after themselves and there was zero incidents.
Literally zero, yeah.
Dang.
After the media warned about the Civil War, the Boogaloo.
Also, Joker, they were like, there's going to be Joker shootings.
Oh.
Based on what?
White males.
There's a rise.
There's the base.
There's Adam Waffen.
There's Proud Boys.
Hate is on the rise.
There was a shooting in New Zealand.
It's on the rise.
Actually, the only thing.
Forget the 90,000 Christians a year that die.
That's irrelevant.
Actually, the only thing that was uncivil was this Zoomer half-black kid.
And I don't think he was a Trump supporter.
He was just a kid who was like, let's go with my friends to this rally.
And they bought a flag.
She's like, I like Trump.
I'm holding a Trump flag.
I want to keep the immigrants out.
I want to keep out the Mexicans and the Muslims.
Oh, you think he was a disruptor?
He was just an asshole.
I want to keep the immigrants out isn't something people say.
No, exactly.
So I was like, are you a groiper?
Are you like a Zoomer Nick Fuentes guy?
He's like, I don't know what that is.
And I was like, what do you listen to?
Like, what do you watch?
He's like, Fox News.
I don't like CNN.
That's Clinton News Network.
We don't do that.
He's just memeing.
You just smell a rat.
It's not even like he's doing it for the left.
He's just doing it to be a pest, you know?
So, well, I'm not sure that's true either.
Why would you go do that just to be a quote-unquote pest?
Because he was like a young.
He uses the word pest.
When you work at Raider, Opian Anthony fans.
Like, you know, just, he's just, he's just memeing.
What do you call trolling?
He's just trolling.
Just troll.
I don't believe you.
Anyway, let's see some of your clips.
He's a neutral.
Now, how many clips do you have in total from this excursion?
I got a bunch.
I guess we'll show the rest tomorrow on the live show.
Yeah, I mean, we could go clip by clip.
Eventually, maybe I'll put them all together because there's a lot of good B-roll, a lot of good.
I want to put people there.
I want to put people there.
Hodge did a really good job of taking B-roll and atmosphere.
We got a lot of cool.
Well, you better hurry because this is already kind of ancient news.
That's the way the news cycle works.
So if you don't have your sizzle reel done by tomorrow, I don't want it.
Okay.
We got this.
It's Bob and Steve.
All right, I'm here with Bob and Steve.
Or winno, you're Bob.
I'm Bob.
You're Steve.
Just pause.
What is with your coat?
You look like a midget.
I just bought it that day.
It was freezing.
Why didn't you bring a coat?
I don't have one that goes with a suit.
Okay.
Why did you buy a triple XL?
Because it was easy to take on and take off.
I was going to take it off while I was on camera and then put it back on.
And what happened with that plan?
I didn't want to waste these guys' time.
So I just kept it on.
And then Hodge was like, it looks funny.
It looks stupid.
It's really you.
I was like, cool.
Yeah, I agree with him.
It's definitely funny.
It's definitely helping the jokes.
Where are you guys coming from?
Well, we're local.
We're from Irma, which is about four miles away.
Side of Cape May.
Right outside of Cape May.
Oh, I know Cape May.
Yeah, sure.
What do you like most about Troy?
Just pause.
Isn't it weird how you're in New Jersey, a few hours away, and everyone is southern?
Yeah, and when you get to southern Jersey and you get to like northern Pennsylvania or any part of Delaware.
Yeah.
It's like southern.
There's Dixie flags and I'm a southern girl.
Southern girl, you're three hours from my house.
He's a man of his word.
He does what he says and he's good and great for our country.
And good at it, if you will.
He's good at it and he's Couldn't help that.
Yep.
That's good.
Nothing wrong with that.
I'm not saying.
Finally, in the right direction.
Promises made, promises kept.
What do you think, Steve?
Well, I like what he's doing about trade, and I like what he's doing.
Do you think they're gay?
No, right.
Okay, okay.
No detective shitty.
Okay, sorry.
About the economy.
He's trying to bring manufacturing back to this country.
People need jobs.
And right now, consumer confidence is high.
And he's doing a great job.
Great point.
Hey, great talking to you guys.
Thank you.
Did you notice, by the way, you ask a Trump hater, what do you hate about him?
They go, oh, where to begin?
We don't get any substance.
Wow.
But you talk to a Trump supporter and you go, what exactly do you like?
And they go, trade, jobs, economy, consumer confidence.
He stood by his campaign promises.
Oh, you mean actual concrete things?
Yeah.
We got one with some ladies.
Oh, they want to fuck me with the heels on.
Yeah.
They want to ride on my dick.
No, sorry.
The audio on this is a little shitty.
Let's see.
American fascicle That's really what we need Hope, love and faith That's right That's right He's doing a lot.
Trying to make the trade hats.
He's trying to pause.
What is going on with that audio, Ryan?
Is the microphone even plugged in?
No, that time it was not recording.
Why not?
I think we just...
And so we're like, we got to get it.
And we're literally running after them.
And then after that, I thought it was recording.
Boy, Vey, this is not really worth the invoice.
This clip I could have just not used because all the other clips have great audio.
This is terrible.
I can't understand a word she's saying.
I just want you to look at just her face is all.
Okay.
Well, there's nothing wrong with that.
Trying to make a trade out of these trips, right?
Is that exciting?
Of course.
That was utter garbage.
I just think it's funny that.
Of course.
What a waste of time.
That's a waste of my time.
Please don't waste my time again.
I don't know if I should send you guys on these missions.
The guy makes things happen.
It's like I say, I don't care what he says.
I don't care what he does.
All I care about is results.
There's no one who's ever gotten more done in a shorter period of time, almost exclusively on his own, than Donald Trump.
I believe history is going to prove that he is the greatest president to serve the greatest nation In the history of the world.
Nice.
Promises made?
And promises kept.
Because he is the commander-in-chief of the great American, the Second Revolution.
And I think history is going to prove that we stood in the midst of great.
He was missing a finger, and I couldn't stop staring at it.
Where?
I can't afford it.
His middle finger.
Oh, it's just a stub?
Yep.
You should have said, what do you know, stubby?
I don't care.
I'm not going to tell you my grandchildren that we lived in the time of Trump.
And then we actually speak to Trump afterwards, which is pretty insane, isn't it?
Yeah.
Actual President Trump.
You met President Trump.
President Donald J. Trump of the United States.
Okay, that makes the bill worth it.
Yes.
Now I'm glad I said that.
And that's not even the highlight.
This is the highlight of this cluster of clips, but by no means is it the most exciting of the clips.
President Trump.
She's President Trump.
How you doing, sir?
Pleasure to meet you.
You know, what kind of press is this?
Because usually the press is fake, but I think you're a good people.
Do you like my ghost sideburn landing strip?
My hope for it is that it looks like a mong shi-shi.
What is that?
Oh, you don't have to look it up.
Is it flattering?
Nope.
Oh.
Trying to be as fair as we can, and we love what you're doing.
I appreciate that.
What do you plan to do in the next four years?
Well, the people of Wildwood are so fantastic.
They've been sitting out here for seven days.
There are 300,000 people out here.
I don't know if that's accurate.
Great people.
Is he making fun of Trump?
I kind of felt that he was just goofing.
Because Trump does exaggerate how many people are at things, but you don't have to exaggerate 100,000.
That's better than a Bruce Bringstein concert.
Yeah.
I think he's goofing, but everybody's like, they loved him.
And, you know.
All right, get back to it.
People, beautiful people.
The best.
They are so happy that we're winning on jobs, we're winning on the economy.
We're winning in Iran.
And we're going to continue that over the next four years in 2020.
Promises made?
Promises made.
Promises kept.
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
God bless.
See ya.
Mr. President, isn't that crazy?
Mr. President, yes.
So we started.
Mr. Guy who does imitations, can I please talk to you?
Yeah, there's a lot of really cool things.
We got on this bus.
I think one of the best highlights from this is that we saw this bus with all the Trump stuff on there while we were going to get lunch.
And they invited us on there.
And there's a woman on there that modeled that.
Remember that MAGA dress that Joy Villa wore?
Yep.
Another woman that wore, and she knows Joy.
She knows Ricky Rebel.
Why are you building up a clip that you're not going to show?
You don't have this clip ready, do you?
I want it to kind of go sort of in sequence because I think it gets better and better.
I don't want it to be like, here's really great clips and here's some lackluster ones.
Well, you're doing great at the lackluster ones.
We got the Japanese woman speaking in a language I've never heard before.
The most garbled shitty sound in the history of this show.
Who's Chinese?
And so you're talking about this awesome bus clip, but we can't see it.
Because that's at the end.
Of what?
Of all of the clips.
Because you said we're going to do some tomorrow, then do some the day afterwards.
So I was like, all right.
I'm going to save the best for last.
And there's a really interesting little story behind that bus.
Okay, so folks at home, you won't be seeing that till tomorrow, the live show at what, 9 p.m.?
It's a teaser.
Okay.
Oh, tomorrow is live.
Oh, frick fudge.
Why?
That doesn't play well?
No, it's fine.
Okay, so what else do you got?
Is that it?
That was pathetic.
You said you wanted four clips.
That sucked.
I didn't have...
What I saw for it is I edit the intro where I'm like, hey, we're here at Wildwood.
And then I progressively show clips and little interactions.
I can't believe you showed that Asian clip.
I just thought she looked.
It's just not usable.
Then it's a photograph, not a video clip.
I didn't understand one word.
She said, a cause.
She said, what?
Of course?
A cause.
All right, so let's give up on that.
That was a complete failure.
What else is going on in the news?
Project Veritas is still going.
This is the key with Project Veritas.
When they have a scoop, it's just the tip of the iceberg.
A lot more to come.
Just the tip.
Just the tip.
They just put the tip in.
So inevitably, and everyone always takes the bait every time.
They go, big deal.
You got one Bernie guy saying one thing.
And then day two, day three, day four.
Wow, you have a lot of Bernie guys saying some really outrageous shit.
I did not know you had quite that many.
Yeah, he always does.
He's getting sued by the Teachers Union in, I believe, Milwaukee.
So not only does he refuse to settle, he won't settle for 40 bucks.
He will not settle for any price.
And he's counter-suing the National Federation of Teachers Union for donating to this particular case.
Because these, like, California and Rhode Island shouldn't have to pay for this Milwaukee case.
He's awesome.
All right.
So do you want to play some of that clip?
What do we got here?
Some of this will be repeats from the previous one.
Cities Burn.
I'll straight up get ourselves in the middle of the day.
We've seen that much.
That's the new one.
That we have to make plans for extreme action.
We want to scare people off.
So you kind of got to feel it out first before you get into the crazy stuff.
Stuff like Antifa.
You know, you're talking about the yellow vests.
It's going to take militancy.
And if necessary, just destroy property.
But it's also property?
What does that mean?
Like, you go to a rich guy's house and just burn it down?
For what?
To get his money so you can pay for health care?
What the fuck does that mean?
Poop on doorsteps?
Burn property.
Hey, we want to raise taxes.
We want to have a health care program.
I'm not for that.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay.
I'm for it.
So the great thing about this, we see that Antifa is involved with the Bernie campaign and that the Antifa tactics of extreme violence Are also part of this.
It would.
It's going to take, you know, it's going to take militancy, like a militant labor movement that's willing to strike if necessary, you know, just destroy property and things like that.
That's Baird, who we just saw.
Daniel Taylor, South Carolina field organizer.
We don't want to scare people off.
Blah, blah, blah.
We just saw that.
But Antifa, we're kind of keeping that on the back burner for now.
And then Daniel Taylor is the Antifa kid saying we have to make plans for extreme action.
Great work.
Let's look at a little tiny bit more of that.
I want to ride on James O'Keefe's ding dong.
With your heels on?
With my heels on.
Meet Daniel Taylor and Mason Baird, both field organizers for the Sanders campaign in South Carolina, and the next two subjects of our undercover investigation of extreme radicalism inside the Sanders campaign.
I canvassed with someone who's like an anarchist.
No, thank you.
I canvassed with someone who's more of a Marxist-Leninist.
No, thank you.
I mean, we tracked radical, like truly radical people to the campaign.
But that's obviously not like ours.
What was her name?
I worked for Project Verites, and we went down to New Orleans.
There was this woman who had, I think, thrown James in jail.
And so I worked on her campaign, Le Tourneau or something.
And I was wearing a camera.
I was wired up.
And I talked to a lot of the staffers there, and I went door to door.
And none of them said anything outrageous or illegal.
So we just canned the footage.
That's the thing people don't get about James O'Keefe.
He doesn't frame people.
So if he goes, analyzes fucking Black Lives Matter and everyone is totally cool, they drop that.
I would say 99% of what Project Veritas records just gets thrown in the trash because it's innocent people with nothing.
You can't frame an innocent man.
And Bernie, does he know that?
Well, I think the goal is just to build a coalition of people.
And a lot of those people who do that kind of work their politics fall well outside of the American sort of norm.
So they're Marxist-Leninists.
That's always been clear.
They're Marxist-Leninists.
They're anarchists.
Also in the news, the Don Lemon thing exploded.
I didn't think it was that crazy.
I mean, it was a perfect example of the way that these elitists feel about the rest of America.
But holy shit, my Instagram feed was just nothing but Don Lemon laughing at the plebs.
And then Trump retweeted it.
And I looked up these guys.
They're all being very defensive, saying it's just a joke.
You guys are anti-jokes.
No, we're not anti-joke.
We just couldn't help but notice you laugh and laugh and laugh at America.
Don Lemon, the dumbest man on television with terrible ratings.
Exclamation mark, end to brackets, period.
That's not how grammar works, but okay.
Vanka Trump, of course, have educated at much better schools than her dad.
You consistently make fun of half the country and then complain that it is divided.
The arrogance, mocking accents, and smug ridicule of this nation's real elites is disgusting.
Yeah, she nailed it.
Also in the news, I did an article for The Spectator about the past two years and being vilified.
And I realized I left out so much shit, like the cops coming to my house and stuff like that.
I don't know.
What was it say?
Bars that serve me with harassment and haze no home here signs appeared on my lawn.
So Amy Siskind, I mentioned her.
I see her as the personification of menopause.
She's the El Chapo of Westchester and rounds up all the disgruntled elite housewives who are loaded and bored because nannies and maids do all their work and they're devoted to Hillary and taking down Trump.
And in it, I said she's going to have a vigil at my house.
And her defense, I believe, is, no, not right at your house, at the temple, the Jewish temple down the street, or just nearby, maybe not.
And then, so my wife and kids went to her house and said, what the fuck are you doing?
You're going to have a vigil after the Pittsburgh shooting?
And she goes, no, no, no.
And then she has it in the neighboring town.
I think 10 people showed up.
So she's furiously writing the paper, the spectator, these angry letters saying that I wasn't going to have it at his house.
It was down the street.
And you should have mentioned that he came to my house.
Yeah, you threatened my kid.
If you have a vigil.
Well, here's her exact quote.
This is 1.7.
She put this on Facebook, I think.
No, no, this was a tweet she put out that she since deleted.
Local friends, I have learned some disturbing news this morning.
Gavin McInnes, leader of the Proud Boys, lives in Larchmont.
In light of events last week, we will be planning an anti-hate vigil.
The events last week was the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh.
That'll be great for my kids.
Let's have a big candlelight vigil to tell Gavin McInnes, as she put it, that we repudiate hate.
In other words, hey, I know your people shot up a synagogue, but don't shoot up any of these synagogues.
We don't like that.
Okay, Amy.
What a horrible, horrible person.
If you would like to be involved, find me on Facebook.
You know what else she did?
She contacted the real estate agent who sold me my home, spoke to her, and said that she should have thought twice before selling me my home.
And what she should do, this real estate agent, is apologize to the community, make a formal public apology, and then donate a massive amount of money to the Anti-Defamation League.
That'll be her sorry.
I also heard some gossips.
Some housewife texted me and said that, yeah, I hate that bitch, Amy Siskin.
She said that she cheated on her husband at nine months pregnant and he walked in on it.
And then in the divorce, she proceeded to destroy him and become rich.
And now she's just like a retired, busybody lesbian who ruins men's lives for a living.
But here's the part about that story that's confusing.
What sexual act can you be doing with another woman when you're nine months pregnant?
All I can think of is lying on your back and then having a woman sit on your face.
Imagine you walk in and there's your pregnant wife having her face sat on.
You'd be like, okay, did not see that coming.
Did not see that coming.
I saw, this is 1.8, the ADL have recently tweeted, our experts have been tracking the Proud Boys since their emergence onto the alt-light scene.
Alt-light is an insult alt-right people say to new right people because we cuck for the Jews and we're race mixers and we're okay with gays.
So we're pussies.
So they're using an alt-right insult when they say alt-light.
Today, the Proud Boys bigoted Western chauvinism.
I don't really have a problem with that.
Bigoted Western chauvinism.
Okay.
Yeah.
Western chauvinism says the West is the best and it's prejudiced towards Western culture.
That used to just be benign like five years ago.
It was a given.
It's on display at right-wing rallies nationwide where members frequently engage in violent brawls.
Yeah, that's kind of true.
Violent brawls, meaning Antifa jumps them and throws piss at them and they fight back.
The ADL.
Isn't it pathetic that we spend so much time hearing about white supremacy?
And all their bad guys, the fear of gay, of homophobia, the fear of sexism, all this bigotry.
It's all there in Islam.
You worried about terrorism?
We got a lot of fucking terrorist attacks in America over the past 10 years.
What did we work it out to be?
Something like 300 deaths?
Something like that.
It was a lot.
It was white supremacy was like, and we were being very loose with white supremacy.
We're being very generous.
We cast a wide net.
Anti-immigration is white supremacy.
Anti-Semitism is white supremacy.
That's not necessarily true, but for the sake of the argument, we gave them the benefit of the doubt.
But what did we end up with with those numbers again?
See, we could, the total isn't there, but let's add them up.
So three, 42 dead, 10 dead.
So 52, 84.
No, I did the tally at the end.
Six shootings, 137 dead.
What's six shootings, 137 dead?
This is not very well presented, is it?
They're not all tally.
Yeah, it's right there, dude.
Move over.
Are you blind?
Radical Islam.
Four shootings, 84 dead.
Mental illness, six shootings, 137 dead.
Antifa, one shooting, 10 dead.
White supremacy, three shootings, 42 dead.
So white supremacy is twice radical Islam.
I mean, sorry, is half radical Islam.
And you tell us that half the country is a Nazi, so that's half the population.
Yet radical Islams, Muslims are 1% of the population.
Do you see the issue here?
And if you really cared about guns, you'd be concerned about mental illness.
When I see Dylan Roof, I don't see a white supremacist.
I see a fucking mental case, an over-medicated mental case.
I see Adam Lanza.
Anyway, we've talked about that before.
I don't need to go over the same shit again and again.
I wanted to talk to you about a problem that's been happening all over this country.
And we get our viewers calling in about it.
Everyone seems to be pretty panicked.
And that is naked crackheads.
Oh, wait, I forgot to talk about that tweet.
So after my spectator piece came out, they go, Gavin McInnes was canceled for, among other things, producing a video entitled 10 Things I Hate About Jews.
But apparently the editors are entirely comfortable giving him the platform.
And then they so this they go up.
These are all academics.
They'll go up.
Yeah, Jonathan Portez is a British professor, and he's retweeting another British professor who's angry with the 10.
And so people started, I can't defend myself, but people started saying, it's a satirical video that's an homage to Israel and Judaism.
There.
If people actually watched it, they would see it's clearly a joke and is actually very pro-Israel.
That's why it's banned everywhere.
So people can attack him for the title alone.
And then he comes back with, you can still be racist and support Israel.
Okay, well, then why did you use 10 Things I Had About the Jews as proof I'm racist?
Anyway, it's so tedious, isn't it?
Isn't it the same?
So let's have a little palate cleanser and have a quick look at this new major problem in America, which is naked crackheads attacking you.
Now, I should warn you.
This gets really, really disgusting, like dry heave gross.
There is feces in this next part.
Brutal, brutally disgusting nudity.
So if you have kids around or you have a weak stomach, as I do, well, you'll see.
Anything else?
I got a lot of things to show you.
Let me fuck you like I owe you.
Let me put this pussy on.
I wanna fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
I wanna ride on your ding-dong.
I can see you got a heart on.
Loved you with my ding-dong.
Hey, I wanted to ride on your ding-dong.
That's probably a no.
Yeah, okay, no, yeah.
You're not gay.
You don't really hear about gays riding on anything, eh?
They want to do it and have it done to them.
They don't like to ride.
It's more of a chick thing.
Jamaican thing, especially.
This is totally unrelated to that, to Lady Saw.
I get a lot of letters, a lot of inquiries to the show.
Ryan gets them to, and they always say the same thing.
They say, Hey, man, what do I do if a naked crackhead jumps on my car?
And rather than respond to each person again and again and again, I just want to do one instructional video that sort of lays it down.
And why don't we just start with the first video?
All right, so there's a naked crackhead running towards a car.
Let's say you're in this car, okay?
Now that's some damage done there.
First of all, step one.
Step one, wind up the windows.
You want to have an airtight seal.
You don't know what kind of projectiles can be coming out.
And I want you to know legally, if you feel that your life is in danger, you're allowed to endanger them.
For example, say there's an Antifa mob in front of your car and they have bats and they start coming at your car and hitting your car and you realize, uh-oh, they're going to pull me out and kill me.
You can plow through them.
You can't just go up to any rally and start plowing through people like Heather Heyer.
But if you are convinced your life is in danger, you can have a self-defense argument.
And I think a naked crackhead jumping in your car is a viable threat.
So what you should do right here, and you've already suffered damage, by the way, I would have been reversing before she even made it.
You probably got your hood dented.
You could crack your windshield.
But at this point, I would go forward at about 20 miles an hour and then slam on the brakes, then reverse and get out of there.
But instead, this gentleman decides to confront the crackhead, which is a bad move.
Oh, wait, he runs away?
Is he gay?
Is that the driver?
We're not in Britain, right?
That guy had a very gay little saunter.
Go back, go back.
She really sort of prances out of the car.
It might be a woman.
A woman with very short hair.
Now look at your car.
This might be damaged beyond repair.
Because just pause.
You now have to replace that entire piece.
Parts of that might go down a bit.
The car only looks like it's worth about $8,000.
That could be $9,000 of damage.
Now, again, the second she started coming up, you could have sped forward.
Get her off of there.
She's not magic.
It's not a wild-east.
I don't understand why you're the one in the ton weapon, but you're scared of a bunch of flesh.
So now they start thinking about it.
Wait, someone's in the driver's seat.
I know.
The first person may have been in the back seat.
Yeah, maybe someone from the back seat jumped in the driver's seat.
Now, he's got the window up, thank God.
Hit the gas right now.
And then in this part, okay, now she's lying flat.
Drive at 20.
Slam on the brakes.
Don't open the doors.
I cannot stress this enough.
Do not open your doors.
You need to get out of there.
Your car is going to be damaged beyond repair.
Do we have another example?
All right, this is an interesting one.
Just I'll try to get out of the way.
Okay, first of all, pause.
Why is the door open?
Did he open the door?
You should have your doors locked if you're in the hood.
But okay, so he gets the door open.
Now, I just pause.
Now, your primary goal is to try to shake him off, get him out of there, and then close the door.
What the fuck?
Okay.
What the fuck?
I should have said NSFW.
This man's naked.
Oh, there's a view.
All right, pause.
Slam the door shut now.
Drive forward at 20 miles an hour.
Slam on the brakes.
He's going to get some road rash.
He's going to be out of your hair.
Why is her door still open?
And then look at this.
She opens a driver's door.
Now, luckily, he fell on his ass and she was able to close the door.
But now we have exhibit.
Perfect.
Just pause.
That red car did exactly what you should do.
You want to lock the doors, keep everything closed, and speed by.
Nice job.
And I like that he's not hurt by that, too.
Just gave him a little spin, a casual spin.
Now you're in trouble, cameraman.
He didn't seem that well endowed.
It's probably his adrenaline going.
Oh, see, this person is executing the forwards, backwards very well.
Because you don't have a lot of room in traffic.
That was a great job, too.
Not everyone is incompetent at this.
A lot of people's personal instincts are good.
Uh-oh.
cops are here alright let's um This is the most disgusting thing you will ever see.
It's probably been sent to you by your friends with the explicit purpose of making you gag.
You're going to see nudity.
You're going to see fecal matter.
You're going to see pee.
If you're sensitive to that kind of thing, I would just scroll forward because this gets real gross.
And I'm glad it does.
Because it shows you the punishment you have for not going and speeding out of there.
She wants to fuck you with her heels on.
So she's in a panic.
Just pause.
Why are you corresponding with her?
Are you worried that she's in distress and it's an innocent woman who maybe had her clothes ripped off?
You can kind of suss that out in the first two seconds.
One of the things someone who's had their dress ripped off and is needing help does is tries to cover up and go, hi, can you help?
This is horrible.
They don't start erratically staring everywhere with their tits just willy-nilly.
Hey, get out of my claws, Zon.
Just pause.
Why did, look at this window open.
Why were you engaging with her?
I remember I was at a bar with my dad once and some lunatic came up and started talking about flat earth or whatever the fuck he was talking about, outer space.
And I started asking him questions like, well, what's their motive to make us think the earth is round?
What are they trying to prevent?
You know, those kind of questions.
And then the guy just kept talking and talking.
And I look over at my dad, and I was like, This guy's not getting out of here.
And my dad just looks at me and he goes, Don't engage.
Perfect, perfect lesson.
Don't engage.
When you see lunatics on the street, look away.
Don't get involved.
What are you going to do?
Cure them?
So, why did he have his window open?
This is about to get super gross, guys.
Okay, so we can see her genitalia.
And she begins.
Now, just pause.
What are those?
Are those balled up hairs?
Or are they large venereal warts?
Could it be P?
P?
Probably drops.
It's stationary.
So that's disturbing.
Seems wart-related.
This bitch is pissing on the car, Saudi.
Shawty, you.
Shawty, get out of the car.
This bitch is pissing and shitting on my car, Child.
This bitch is pissing and shitting on the car.
Oh, those are real drivings.
Shawty, get out of my car, Saudi.
Shawty?
He says shorty to punctuate sentences.
This bitch is pissing and shitting on the car, child.
Are we allowed to show this?
I don't know.
This is chances this happens.
Oh, my God.
So, dude, you got to drive at 20 miles an hour, hit the brakes, get to a fucking car wash now.
Or maybe just go home and hose it.
I don't know if that's fair to do to a car wash because you're putting shit in their spinners.
She just pissed the shit at all on my car.
She just pissed and shitted.
And the guy saw them, and as soon as he saw them, that's when they took out the sheets of car.
They tried to rape that girl up here.
Wow.
So this lady's point is that someone tried to rape that crackhead at another juncture.
I don't think that relates to his problem and why that's relevant.
So the moral of the story here, folks, is if you don't want someone to pissed and shitted all over your car, then drive 20 miles an hour, slam on the brakes, and get the fuck out of there.
*music*
That kind of turns me on.
That's the other funny part.
It does not.
She's just so unattractive.
I don't believe anyone else saying that, including you.
And I'd be honed up.
So are you going to have 100% of all of the jersey footage ready for tomorrow?
Yes.
Is that the only thing you need from me today?
Or we want YouTube clips too?
We don't want what?
Oh, YouTube clips, yeah, but that's not a priority.
Okay.
All right, yeah, then I can focus 100% on that because I'm excited about it.
I thought you wanted a full piece.
Remember that?
Well, I do, but those usually take you 100 years.
Like the history of punk was nine years.
Well, that was 100 little clips and links, and I want that to be fine.
Right, so I don't see you having it done in time.
And by the way, before we have a fight again, in time doesn't mean 8.59.
And if I have to do, I go boxing with the kids, so it has to be way before I leave for boxing.
Can you give me a real time, like an actual like five hours before airtime?
Like three is late.
Okay, so five is good?
What?
How many hours before?
3 p.m. is late.
5 is after 3.
It goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
I think it meant 3 hours before the show.
No, 3 p.m.
Okay, so when do you want it done?
3 p.m.
tomorrow.
Okay, so then...
Is that a problem?
This is why I said let's just show clips.
I just didn't know.
Because I thought you could just have the giant QuickTime file on your computer, and then we could just scroll through and be, this is funny, this is funny.
I didn't really want a movie.
I got you.
Well, I think I can get it done because you don't have any vision for it.
Like before with the boxing video, I had it finished, and you're like, nah, change all that shit.
And I was like, all right, back to the box.
I just want a montage of quality clips with good audio.
Yeah, that's what I'm going to give you.
Isn't that a given?
Yeah.
And for the record, that's what I always want for the rest of my life.
Good clips with good audio?
Yes.
A montage of funny clips with good quality audio.
That is reasonable.
All right, shall we?
We shall.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together's mailbox.
Let me touch it.
Um, what was I gonna say?
Is there a hi-hat in that song?
Do I hear a tss?
Yes.
It's very subtle.
Who is that guy?
Do we contact him?
No.
just in grids I'm gonna find him.
All right.
Ready for this?
Yes.
Subject.
Jack Antonoff used to date Scarlett Johansson.
I would suck his dick just because it had been into her pussy.
It would be an honor.
Beesh.
Hey, G-Dog, just want to inform you that Jack Antonoff's high school sweetheart in New Jersey was Scarlett Johansson before she became a rich A-list celebrity.
Who's Jack Antonoff?
Is that the Lena Dunham guy from the bleachers?
Wow, he did well.
Oh, she's Jewish, too, right?
Oh, so it's kind of like an arranged thing.
There's pictures.
Maybe his technique was, uh-oh.
I've fucked Scarlett Johansson.
I feel unapproach.
I've become unapproachable.
I'll have to date Alina Dunhampeg for a while.
No, that doesn't make sense.
I mean, it's not like Leonardo DiCaprio has to date an ugly bitch once in every three hot ones.
That kind of, sir, Mr. Ryder, Mr. James, you kind of hurt my theory that he dated her for some sort of currency.
I think he, what if he just liked her?
What if he's not shallow, but he happened to have scored a banga?
Fucking Lena Dunham is unthinkable.
That's subterranean.
It's not shallow.
And the way she's put herself out there is just so wildly unattractive.
You know, with her gunt and her pussy in every show, and like, I like them suck dicks.
Eat my ass.
Like, she really ruined herself.
Yeah, that would actually make Scarlett Johansen way more unattractive, too, in a way.
Totally.
Any woman.
Any woman behaving like her and the way she portrayed herself.
Oh, she's getting real tubby.
That's Milanakis levels.
Most of his sad emo songs from his first band, Steel Trainer, about breaking up with her, Curious of this Information Changes Your Theory.
Yes, it does.
Maybe he's just a sad, broken man.
That's a very good theory, sir.
Oh, he's like masochistic.
He's just like destroyed.
He's like, I could cut or date Lena Dunham.
Yeah, like I'll never, I'll never live a normal sex life again.
I'm gonna fuck Lena Dunham to punish myself.
Self-flage leaving.
Yeah.
Funny story.
This is fucking hilarious.
Check our what dude said and what one of the cops said about it and getting good at it, if you will.
Tennessee man arrested for smoking marijuana in courtroom.
Oh, yeah.
Man who appeared in court on a marijuana citation was charged with contempt of court after lighting up in front of the judge.
Turn that up.
...
openly smoking marijuana in the county courthouse.
And he was in court on a separate marijuana charge.
And I'm Bob Mueller, and the suspect had a word for those inside the courtroom.
Just pause.
Just pause.
Why do you people reading the news have to say your fucking name?
I don't give a shit who you are.
Wait, you're, oh, I thought you were somebody else.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
General Sessions Court for those story.
I'll be reading the news tonight.
My name's Bob, and I'm here with Haley.
In case you want to call us later and ask us anything about what you saw.
Andy Cordan has the story.
Here at the Wilson County General Sessions Court, there's a lot of things you can't bring into court.
No food, no drink, no shorts.
The one thing it doesn't say, no marijuana.
This is video from General Sessions Court on Monday.
That's Spencer Boston at the podium.
The 20-year-old is in court on a marijuana citation while Judge Haywood Barry writes down some notes.
Watch as the 20-year-old reaches into his coat pocket.
He pulls out a joint and lights up.
He then reportedly turns to the lighter would be fucking a first strike.
Act audience and says, the people deserve better.
The court erupts into laughter.
Court bailiffs immediately take Spencer Boston into custody.
I've been in law enforcement for 20 years, and this is by far the most bizarre thing I've ever seen happen in a courtroom.
Thank you.
All right, last letter.
We're running out of time here.
That's kind of lame.
That's the most bizarre.
Dear G-Dog, the Boogie is not racial.
The Boog, sorry.
The Boogaloo.
We get this letter about seven times a day.
I know you've already addressed this briefly, but the Boogaloo meme is about a civil war, not a race war.
I get the perception versus reality argument, but I don't think that means the left get to repurpose a term to demonize 2A supporters.
It's a funny meme.
Look at the hashtag.
There's almost no racist content.
It's about what happens when the government comes for the guns and when the boog boys get their AR-15s and scopes on and play soldier in the post-apocalyptic libertarian anarchy till the West is won.
Yes, you're right.
Okay.
I want to end with one of my favorite guys.
Roy Martinez is the name of the guy, by the way.
What guy?
Rory Martinez.
He's the guy who did the mailbag song.
Oh.
Hispanic gentleman.
Okay, um.
We'll end with a funny video.
I've got a few here.
It's kind of hard to choose from.
Can't hear you so good.
There you go.
What?
Yeah, there you go.
We couldn't hear you were off mic too much.
Now this guy is...
So what he does is he goes to a parking lot and he says, why didn't you put your card away?
And then when they tell him to fuck off, whatever, he puts a sticker, a magnetic sticker, on their car that says try to keep – Try to keep your cart.
And he just sort of stays out of there.
It reminds me of my buddy Steve Duran.
We broke into a construction site when we were about 11 and the security guard's chasing us out of there.
And he goes, he yells at the security guard, don't make me use my kung fu.
I'm training the martial arts.
And the guy's like, you son of a bitch.
And then he starts doing these like circle kicks and just staying out of the security guard's reach.
And I just, I was in awe of his balls because it's one thing to get caught and run away.
That's brave.
But to get caught and as you're running away, going like this and pretending, because the guy was fat and he couldn't catch us and we were little kids.
Like, if you catch us, this is what's going to happen.
Yeah.
So fucking with a guy who, you know, could get you in big trouble.
He might get the police involved.
Anyways, so this is what Cartnark does.
At the peak of rage, he just keeps pushing and pushing.
Ah, see?
90% of the time I put it back.
99%.
But you're very tired right now, and it's causing an error in your judgment.
Lazy Bones.
No, no, sorry.
Let me lazy bones.
We got these bumper magnets for you.
I'm going to put them right here inside your truck.
There you go.
It's got a hotline number on it.
So you can call that for a counseling about how not to be a lazy bones.
What's going on?
Did you hear that?
It's got a hotline on it.
So you can call that for counseling.
To learn how not to be a lazy bones.
Those aren't exactly fighting words.
He has this like, I don't have a problem.
I'm just trying to help out here.
I don't want any trouble.
For counseling about how not to be a lazy bones.
What's going on?
What are you doing, sir?
The hand?
Oh, what's going on there?
And he's got a little air traffic control airport thing.
Oh my God.
What's going on?
What are you doing, sir?
Why are you approaching me?
Why am I approaching you?
Yes.
This is yours.
Take it back.
No, it's got a number for you.
It's a present for you.
Take it back.
Teach you how to be a lazy bonus.
Take it back.
Yes, sir.
Keep that.
My gift to you.
Why are you running after me?
Because you're a fucking asshole.
I'm a nice guy, sir.
No, you're a fucking asshole.
Luckily, I have good blocking skills.
I blocked your attack.
You're an asshole.
No, and Mark, let me explain.
I don't give a shit what you are.
Yeah, you do, because you're running after me trying to throw stuff at me, so clearly.
I don't care.
What I care about is you.
I have rights.
Leave me alone.
Yeah, I know.
And what I'm saying.
Leave me alone!
I'm having a private, a small house.
I'm trying to have a polite conversation.
No, I don't want a polite.
Leave!
Sir, I'm not going to be able to do this.
I'm calling the cops.
I'm calling the cops.
On who?
Call the cops on him.
No, I'm a nice guy.
I'm having a polite conversation about how to go here.
This is hilarious.
Look at this guy zooming.
The reason they had the cart corral, which we're at, by the way, we are right here.
There's the cart corral right there, sir.
You just walked by it.
The reason we have a cart corral is to make sure that the carts are kept in good order.
You can't park there now when you leave a cart.
It could damage a car.
It could scratch a car.
It's true.
Sir, I'm just trying to help.
It's because carts.
You're blocked over there.
You could have put it there.
Well, sir, then you wouldn't volunteer.
You're this close to being on the ground.
Why?
I'm not on the ground at all.
Leave me alone.
Sir, I don't think you can catch me, number one.
Number two.
You know what?
What?
Because I'm a fucking fat asshole.
They're all on the ground, aren't they?
Yeah, because I'm a fat asshole.
So now he's giving the guy insults.
He's insulting himself to get himself revved up to fight.
Number one.
Number two.
You know what?
What?
Because I'm a fucking fat asshole.
No, sir, because I. You know what it is?
Because I'm highly trained in running.
We train for this.
Sometimes people get angry.
You know what?
Go get the majority.
If you had any doubts about him being serious, we train for this.
Us Kartnarks.
Makes it pretty clear that he's just there to make people angry for no other reason.
He's just like, talk about a perfect troll.
Look at him.
Go get him.
What for?
Because you're bugging me.
I'm not bugging you.
Let's go.
Sir, I don't want to go.
I don't want to go there.
I want to have a polite conversation.
I don't want a polite conversation.
That's on hand.
You don't have to.
Leave me alone.
He didn't take his cart back.
He's being very antsy about it.
I don't know why.
He's trying to.
Because you're abusing me.
You know what abuse is, sir?
I'm making fun of you.
I'm having a polite conversation.
No, you're not.
When somebody says they don't want to talk to you, you turn around and walk away.
That's how you turn around?
You turn around.
Look at the turn.
As they don't want to talk to you, you turn around and turn around.
You turn around and walk away.
But, sir.
That's got to be a clip.
Everything's a clip.
Sir, you caught me.
No, sir, you chased me halfway through the parking lot first.
Sir, you left your card out where it's an obstruction to other customers.
That's all we're talking about here, sir.
Is that over?
Yeah.
Unfortunately.
All those videos stop too soon.
They sure do, buddy.
They really do.
They sure do.
Don't they?
They really, really do.
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