Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #29 - HOW TO FIGHT

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Jan. 10, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:58:00

GOML LIVE #29 - HOW TO FIGHT

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn I guess I'm supposed to wear this shirt.
	Is that Johnny Apple CBD?
	It is Johnny Apple CBD.
	That's our sponsor.
	I don't wear shirts with stuff on them.
	Unless I'm kidding.
	A man should not have a shirt that has anything on it after the age of 29.
	Especially bands.
	No one gives a shit if I like motorhead.
	Don't do it.
	Don't do it.
	Not gonna do it.
	How old are you?
	You're 30.
	You can't wear anything on your shirts.
	I don't like wearing anything on my shirts.
	You got your tag sticking up.
	You'll happily be, you'll happily shill for keckles, though.
	When I see what shirt you have on.
	I will not do Kegels for Keckles.
	I will not shill for Shekles.
	Kegels for Keckles.
	Let's see.
	Your shirt.
	All right.
	Here I go.
	Here he comes.
	I don't like any logos on my shirt.
	Logos.
	I saw Bert Kreischer on Twitter talking about how many t-shirts he has.
	And he has like hundreds and hundreds of shirts with like jokes and a bear and a gun.
	And I don't know.
	When you're a grown man with kids and your shirt says like, get the fuck out of here.
	You can put like boardwalk jokes.
	Now, what a team.
	So you can have the Mets.
	You can have your team.
	Not against that.
	Although, it is weird having a man's name on your back.
	It is.
	Cindergaard.
	He's my favorite, the gorgeous Swedish hunk.
	Dave Landau.
	Talk to Dave Landau about that.
	He's got...
	He's got ACDC shirts.
	I know.
	I hate that.
	I love Dave Landau, but I hate that about him.
	I know.
	Those jokes and like kiss and a South Park joke.
	I wear a Mets shirt where the Kiss is dressed as the Mets, but I'm kidding.
	It's a joke, yeah.
	You don't have a cool shirt that says fucking KISS.
	Hi, I'm 49.
	I think KISS are really good.
	Back in the New York Groove.
	Actually, I also have a shirt that says back in the New York Groove, but it's a Mets shirt.
	Before we get started, I'd like to give a shout out to our top sponsor, Johnny Apple.
	No, not us.
	Or as those Canadian Brits say, us.
	Johnny Apple CBD.
	This is a place I go for the CBD ointment that you put on after you do strength and conditioning and you have an arm day or a leg day and your bones ache.
	I mean, your muscles ache.
	It really helps.
	So I use it for my workouts.
	I also use it to help sleep.
	I have the gummies before bed.
	They help remove the horrors from your sleep.
	So use promo code Gavin at checkout and get 20% off plus free shipping.
	Plus, when you use a promo code Gavin, all your orders come with a CBD cookie.
	Actually, that might be a Christmas thing.
	I can't guarantee that.
	This is an old read.
	Yeah.
	Through New Year's Eve, oh no, that's right.
	Through New Year's Eve, all orders come with a free CBD cookie.
	Is it through New Year's Eve right now?
	It's after New Year's Eve.
	So through is up to like Jan 1, I guess.
	This isn't a very good read.
	Anyway, visit jacbd.com.
	Sport free.
	Free speech.
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	You're just going to feel as great as I do every day.
	Check out the tincture, the topical ointment, the gummies.
	And that's promo code Gavin, 20% off at checkout, free shipping.
	Feel great, be great, jacbd.com.
	Promo code Gavin.
	Speaking of workouts, I just got back from the gym and the fear thing is just so exhausting.
	And I think it's justified.
	Here's the deal.
	I mentioned this on the show before, but when you are just hitting the heavy bag or even going up to the coach and hitting his pads, left, right, left.
	No problem.
	I'm not even that tired.
	And that's nailing, like that's hurting his hands through the match.
	Then you get in the ring in a real fight and the rounds are, I think, three minutes long.
	One minute in, you're just like, can we stop?
	And it's fear.
	Fear makes you tired.
	But it's not like it's a dumb phobia like ghosts.
	You do get punched in the head really hard.
	Like I have a headache now.
	I got hit in the head so many times.
	So my fear was justified.
	And, you know, he gets you with a left hook in the ear.
	You can't hear for like 10 seconds.
	It hurts.
	And I guarantee you, tomorrow, when I touch my forehead, it'll feel tender and bruised.
	That's true.
	So it's a funny thing.
	And I went up to Tommy.
	I've got a video I want to show you of me kicking the shit out of this guy, Tommy, poor bastard.
	But I went up to Tommy, not Hydroman, the big Tommy.
	And I said, God, this fucking fear.
	It's like playing hockey if your life depends on winning or going into a mosh pit.
	Like it just drains you dry.
	How do you do it?
	And he goes, why do you think I had to stop that last round?
	And I said, because you said you were going to barf.
	They had a barf bucket for you.
	And he goes, no, I gave myself a panic attack.
	He said, I start getting tense.
	I bite down on my mouth guard.
	This is him talking.
	I forget to breathe.
	And the next thing I know, I'm having a panic attack.
	It's fucking scary fighting.
	And it doesn't get any less scary.
	I even tried mind games too, where I'm like, okay, I'm just going to pretend I'm on heroin.
	And then you go, I'm going to relax.
	Then you get, you get punched in the head.
	You can't relax.
	I even tried, this guy was Swedish.
	And I tried like hating Swedes.
	And I was like, You fuckers, what have you done to masculinity?
	You pussies with your refugees.
	Welcome here.
	All your women are getting raped.
	You're ruining your own country.
	You fucktard.
	That didn't help.
	I've even tried when fighting black guys to try to be racist.
	Maybe that would give me more energy.
	Goddamn Negro, we got another one in here.
	Fuck, I hate you guys.
	That doesn't work because you're like, now you're fighting Andrew in an improv troupe.
	Yeah.
	Doing a little dramatical character.
	You're burning, you're burning gas.
	Extra calories, burning more gas.
	It doesn't work.
	There's no trick.
	What about love?
	Yeah, but now you trust the guy and you're vulnerable.
	Like when I fight Tommy, I'm basically gay for him.
	And he still fucks me up.
	The ass.
	Sometimes I'm suspicious of some of these guys.
	Like the young guys with in great shape to go, hey, are you moving around today?
	Yeah, I could.
	Why are you so eager, though?
	Like guys my age aren't going, hey, you moving around?
	But young guys can't wait to get me in the ring.
	And I think it's because they want to beat the fuck out of an old man.
	Boom!
	That's me.
	It's what I'm trying to say is I'm a victim of ageism.
	You think being black is hard?
	Try being old.
	It sucks.
	You've seen my brother Harvey Weinstein going to court with his little tennis ball walker?
	That's what it's like for us.
	We have trouble walking.
	Well, there he is.
	That's bad.
	I can't rape.
	I'm too weak.
	Too weak to rape.
	Actually, America has become so annoying, the culture, pop culture, social media, that we found ourselves this week defending Harvey Weinstein.
	That's right.
	It's a weird feeling.
	And Jeffrey Epstein.
	Because I was thinking, like, wait a minute, how old were these girls?
	They keep saying he fucked kids, but it's not like he had four-year-olds on his island.
	I thought he did.
	No, that's the thing.
	Like, four-year-old, imagine four-year-old boys getting raped, and you go, that's a bad guy.
	Or tied up.
	I think they were like 17.
	That's legal, I think, in America.
	I think the age of consent is 17.
	It's not my cup of tea, but some of them were 16.
	Or were some of them 14?
	Yeah, that's terrible.
	You know who fucked 14-year-olds?
	David Bowie.
	Alice Cooper.
	David Bowie and his wife.
	Jimmy Page.
	Keith Moon.
	They all fucked the same 14-year-old groupie.
	I did a video about it.
	Yep.
	What are you looking up now?
	What are you looking up, you tard?
	Rock stars with young girl.
	Rock star, and then a bunch of young girl rock stars show up.
	You suck.
	You suck.
	You just look up groupie?
	Of course, you're going to see a bunch of Halloween costumes.
	You should look up like Jimmy Page Groupie.
	Fuck.
	11 rock star who allegedly slept with under his girl.
	Yeah, do we hate Jimmy Page as much as we hate Jeffrey Epstein?
	Actually, was that in the notes?
	This is kind of a tangent, but they had all his charges, Harvey Weinstein's charges.
	Here I am defending Harvey Weinstein, the awesome Harvey Weinstein.
	Here's my point.
	It's called a casting couch.
	This is your culture, Hollywood, and it's been going on forever.
	Women blowing directors in order to get a movie role.
	Gays blowing gay directors in order to get a movie role.
	If you did that, you're an expensive prostitute.
	You're not a victim.
	Now, if you were raped, then call the fucking cops.
	And if you don't, then you're complicit in his future attacks.
	So you're partly responsible.
	Yes, I am blaming the victim.
	Yeah, but it's so hard.
	620,000 men died in the Civil War.
	You can be uncomfortable catching a rapist.
	Yeah, but if you didn't blow him, you'd be kicked out of the industry.
	Okay.
	If Harvey Weinstein said, you either blow me or a censored TV is done.
	A censored TV is done.
	It's time to get a trade.
	I'm going to welding school.
	Happened to me a million times in advertising.
	Homo said, if you would let me blow you, you could have got this contract.
	And I said, well, I'm not a fucking whore.
	I know, this is crazy.
	I'm shocking myself, but I don't really know what he did.
	Like, there's the Lauren Savon one is my favorite one because that's clear-cut.
	He was jerking off in a restaurant kitchen, and she couldn't get past him.
	And then he jizzed into a plant.
	But that's sexual assault.
	She should have called the cops the next day.
	The rest of these charges, like the Marissa Tomei one, he said, blow me.
	She said, no.
	He made sure she never worked again.
	Her brother should beat him up.
	But is that illegal?
	What he did?
	Anyway, go back to the list.
	Let's see some of these because I'm talking out of my ass.
	I actually can't read these very well.
	Just go.
	Jesus, there's 100 of them.
	Go to the first one.
	Let's start at number one.
	We're not going to go through all hundred.
	Amber Anderson, known for the Riot Club.
	She said he coerced her into a private meeting.
	He behaved inappropriately and propositioned a personal relationship to further my career.
	Whilst bragging, ew, I hate the word whilst.
	Whilst bragging about other actresses, he had helped in a similar way.
	He tried to take my hand and put it in his lap, which is when I managed to leave the room.
	That's a boring story.
	That's called a creep.
	Yeah.
	This doesn't belong in court.
	Lisette Anthony, an English model, an actress of husbands and wives.
	That's my second favorite movie after Animal House.
	I guess she played The Mistress.
	Is that with Eugene Levy?
	No.
	No, not that one.
	An English model, blah, blah, blah.
	She told that Weinstein raped her in her home in the late 80s.
	Why didn't you call the cops?
	Who the fuck gets raped and doesn't call the cops?
	Somebody doesn't want to lose their job.
	If I was raped, I would devote my life to revenge.
	I'm not even sure I'd be satisfied with him thrown in jail.
	I'd want to like cut his eyes out.
	I wouldn't be like, let's just, can we just forget it?
	I'd roll him in a carpet and put it in a pool.
	I'd chop his legs off and then slowly feed them to him in a soup.
	An Italian actress, we know Asia Argento, she killed Anthony Bourdain.
	Whoa.
	Did you know?
	Allegedly.
	Well, she cheated on him with her best friend.
	He just came out of a divorce.
	He was weak.
	He had been a junkie.
	He probably went back on Smack.
	But anyway, when he realized that Asia doesn't love him or that she's with his best friend, he felt so betrayed.
	He offed himself.
	She didn't get any shit for that, by the way.
	Talk about female privilege.
	In fact, you know what I heard about that whole thing?
	The photographer who took the picture of Asia with Anthony's buddy felt terrible.
	Yeah, it's your fault, dude, for noticing her cheating.
	Anyway, let's go back to Asia as I defend the fattest, most disgusting piece of shit in American history.
	She told the New Yorker that in 1997, when she was 21, Weinstein asked for a massage and forcibly performed oral sex on her at a hotel in France.
	Forcibly performed?
	Well, you should have called the cops.
	Why didn't you call the cops the next day?
	Why are we hearing about this a decade later?
	What's next?
	So are any of these, yeah, these are either rape or bullshit.
	And if they were rape, you should have called the cops.
	Jessica Barth, we're only at number five.
	We'll stop at this one.
	The 37-year-old actress from the TED Films told the New Yorker he invited her to a business meeting in Spelly's hotel room at the Golden Globes.
	Barth later recalls he had champagne waiting and alternated between offering her, offering to cast her in a film and demanding a naked massage.
	She claims that when she moved toward the door to leave, Weinstein lashed out saying that she needs to lose weight to compete with Mila Kunis.
	Good tip.
	The fuck's the matter with that?
	You got a free tip?
	This is in a courtroom?
	This is wasting our time in court?
	That's the thing.
	It's like unpleasant experiences dilute the rape ones.
	It's not a crime to be a disgusting pig.
	Yeah, to try.
	Well, slow down, Ryan.
	We're talking about the law here.
	You're defending him as a person.
	He's a shit stain.
	Ah, dude, he tried to hook up with my sister.
	Cynthia.
	Burr.
	Anyway, that's the crazy.
	That's the problem with Clown World, is you start defending demons from hell just to spite the left.
	That's the problem with what?
	Clown World.
	This is the front page.
	Meg Sit, Megan Markle, and Prince Harry are trying to distance themselves from the royal family and try to become more independent.
	We're going to take a moment here on the show to try to care about that.
	Let's have a moment of silence as we summon everything we can from the tips of our toes up our ankles.
	See if you can drum up a milligram of care.
	Oh, I'm trying.
	I feel there might be like a little grain of rice making its way up my femoral artery.
	No.
	Oh, that's a fart.
	Oh, anything?
	It's a grain of sand?
	No.
	Don't fucking.
	How could you care?
	I actually fell asleep back there.
	If a piano fell on their heads, I'd go, oh, that's freaky.
	On whose heads?
	I don't know.
	Pianos are dangerous.
	They still do that?
	They lift a piano outside the building and then take it through like a big bay window.
	I mean, I guess they're really heavy.
	How often does that happen?
	You get insurance for that?
	You get so bored, you get senile.
	Piano?
	Piano, Phil.
	Hi, Archie.
	I was watching Strangers with Candy with my daughter last night.
	It was such a fucking hilarious episode.
	Strangers with Candy.
	It's just the gift that keeps on giving.
	How many episodes they got?
	Oh, there were several seasons.
	But they find out Jerry Blank, she's trying out to be a cheerleader and she can't read.
	And they're going, give me a V, give me an I, give me a C, give me a T, give me an O, give me an R, give me a Y. What does that spell?
	And she goes, win.
	And they go, Jerry Blank can't read.
	Ha!
	And then when she, the teacher hires, teacher is sort of put on her case because the principal is embarrassed that one of his students can't read.
	And she goes, I can read.
	Look, desk, desk, pen, pen, window.
	30 episodes.
	And then there's so many jokes you couldn't do today.
	Like he's holding up cards and she's identifying them.
	And he holds up an A and she goes, TP.
	And then she holds up a capital I and she goes, doggy bone.
	And then he holds up a capital E and she goes, pitchfork on its side with the handle broken off.
	And then he stops and stares at her.
	And then she goes, faggot.
	And he goes like that.
	And she goes, it's just a reading joke.
	Meanwhile, you have in the hangover, they go, paging Dr. Faggot.
	And huge backlash now against that.
	And Todd Joker guy.
	What's his name?
	The director of the Joker guy.
	Todd Phillips.
	Todd Phillips goes, comedy's gotten too politically correct.
	You can't be funny anymore.
	And then the backlash.
	It's like, oh, yeah, Paging Dr. Faggot is funny.
	Yeah.
	It was a very hilarious scene because the doctor, the dentist, was just talking about how his friends are mature, and he's going to have a great weekend.
	So yeah, I have a headache.
	Every time I cough, it hurts because I got punched in the head by a Swede.
	I was talking to him initially about this movie that changed my life.
	Holy shit, is it good?
	It might have squeezed into my top 10.
	It's called Ferst Mejer.
	French name, but it's Swedish.
	I guess there's plenty of Swedish French people.
	Or maybe that just looks the same as French as in Swedish, but it's not in the notes.
	It's about a father who is on a ski trip with his wife and his two kids, and he represents not just masculinity, but Swedish masculinity.
	Anyway, there's an avalanche, spoiler alert.
	They think they're going to die.
	And as she grabs the kids, she's not really strong enough to pick them up.
	He grabs his phone and his mitts and runs in the opposite direction.
	Jeez.
	And she can't get over it.
	Wow.
	And nor can he.
	And it's such a brilliant movie for so many reasons.
	And one of them is we all know that if it happened to us, we would put the table down and put the kids behind us and make sure we batten the hatches, right?
	Let's turn it up.
	The music is cool, too.
	We have some privacy.
	What do you want?
	The concept of wind, so you could come back and grab them up.
	That's the guy from Game of Thrones he's in it.
	Ahhhhhhh!
	In a way, it's praising those guys.
	That's kind of a proud boys moment.
	He's a sobbing mess.
	Force majeure.
	But yeah, the scary part is.
	What the fuck?
	What if that happened to you and you did grab your phone?
	What if you don't know that you're a pussy?
	Because you don't really know until there's a home intruder or some guy on the subway slaps your mom.
	Now we all go, yeah, fuck that.
	I wouldn't fucking get it.
	Yeah, I know, I know.
	And I agree.
	I am 99.999% sure I would hospitalize the guy.
	But what if I just sat there and went, we never did anything to you?
	Yeah, what's the brave thing?
	You'd have to kill yourself.
	You'd never be able to live with yourself.
	Anyway.
	I don't know if I've ever done anything brave.
	Did you hear what Ryan just said?
	I don't know if I've ever done anything brave.
	You had in a fight the other day with that guy.
	That was over the summer.
	But that was a bit.
	I went to Ryan's apartment the other day.
	He has PPTSD.
	What's PPTSD?
	No, he has PRPTSD.
	Puerto Rican?
	Puerto Rican post-traumatic stress syndrome.
	What is that?
	Where you just eat Fritos?
	No, it's when you put your sugar in the fridge in a bag, even though there hasn't been a roach in your building ever.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Never seen a roach.
	He puts his sugar in a plastic bag sealed in his fridge.
	So the roaches are like, oh.
	Well, I give him zero reason to hang out.
	Give who?
	There's no roaches in your building, dude.
	In a building, there's roaches.
	There's got to be.
	No, there is not.
	You know, he had sugar before that was out.
	And I go, whatever happened to that sugar?
	And he goes, I think the roaches ate it.
	They crawled up into the box, ate all the sugar, turned it to shit, I guess, and left.
	So everyone was just sprinkling.
	Everyone who came over, had a coffee, they were sprinkling roach shit.
	Not true.
	And I know this about Puerto Ricans.
	They're paranoid about roaches.
	I've had Larry Bronx.
	Yeah.
	I've had Larry Izzo, ex-exterminator, come over and he did a thing.
	He was like, no, you're good.
	I was like, I don't believe you.
	Because you have PRPTSD.
	You know what Puerto Ricans do?
	After they have a pizza, it's obviously very hard to get it into the garbage.
	They put it in the sink.
	I don't.
	Wet it.
	If you will.
	And get good at wetting it, if you will.
	And then they roll it into a tube, bend that, and put that in the garbage.
	I don't, but I know what you're talking about.
	That's how, yeah.
	That would make sense.
	You're traumatized.
	Damn it.
	That was really well done, dude.
	Really soon.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	Oh, just in time.
	You were going to take Fred's job away from him over at Stern.
	We don't give a damn.
	I don't know how he's that fast with those.
	I was watching a clip with David Spade talking about something, and he's talking about he's creeped out, so then a horror thing comes up.
	Does he just have a bunch of buttons or does he have a sound?
	I have some theories.
	Here's my theory.
	those of you don't listen to Stern, you don't know what we're talking about, but Fred has these, his co-worker, who he's been with forever, has these audio drops where he'll talk about a fart and then he'll...
	I think he has four iPads.
	And So the fart is a but.
	And he's memorized them over time.
	And so it's instinctual.
	Now there's esoteric ones where he has to go on his computer and put in a search word, right?
	Like a lady falling down the stairs.
	He only does that one once a year.
	But as far as the heavy rotation ones, it's four iPads and just a ton of pictures.
	Okay.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah, because the images would, yeah, there's no way you could read.
	But then he did tape stuff too, right?
	Is that Fred there?
	Yeah.
	I've never seen what he looks like.
	No way.
	You know what's funny about Stern?
	Every time you look up the guy, you go, that's exactly what it is.
	Yeah, that is weird.
	Jackie looks like what Jackie sounds like.
	I've never seen that guy, Fred Norris, before.
	I didn't even know his last name was Norris.
	That's crazy.
	That's exactly what he sounds like.
	So you've never seen Private Parts?
	No.
	You would love it, wouldn't you?
	Yeah, whatever.
	Look at all those tapes.
	He usually has one mediocre movie, and he's the king of all media.
	Woo-hoo of the kids.
	You're the king of movies, Howard.
	I want to show you some fighting tips and how you can beat up anyone you want.
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	And speaking of betting, would you like to see me step in the ring with a heavyweight who's been, he's, I don't know his record.
	I think he's got 40 fights, 38 and 2.
	And the twos were not KOs.
	They were indecisions.
	He's got an incredible record, and he's putty in my hands.
	and I'm about to explain why.
	Hey, guys, let's talk about the sweet science, the science of boxing.
	This is me in the ring with a giant guy.
	You can see he's got a tattoo of a boxer on his arm.
	He's obviously been doing this for a long time.
	He's a heavyweight, so it seems crazy that I would get in the ring with him.
	But I know so many techniques that I can fight anyone.
	That's the beauty of this sport, is it's all about the chess moves you got up here.
	So you can see, you can see the first thing I'm doing even before I start the fight is my stance.
	Think of yourself as a piece of paper, right?
	If you didn't want to be hit when you were a piece of paper, you turn sideways.
	Now you're just a line.
	So I start out the fight as a skinny line that can't be punched.
	All right, let's start the battle.
	Teasing him out there, just getting a fee.
	I'm feeling him out here, feeling where he's at.
	I don't have to put my hands up by my face.
	Oh, just pause.
	Did you see what I did there?
	I dipped down and got the body.
	He's taller than me.
	His head's hard to get to.
	Whoa, did you see that move?
	I don't even remember that.
	Look at me, Deke.
	I go down, I hit the body.
	Down, hit the body.
	I'm just going to slowly chip away at his ribs and his stomach until he can't breathe anymore.
	If I get a chance to hit the head, that's fine.
	But for the most part, I'm just going to keep beating away at that torso, that core, and breaking him down that way.
	Sometimes the head is a treat that you don't get to have.
	Okay, so now stop.
	Now I'm talking shit and getting in his head.
	That's another thing.
	I learned that from the great Ali.
	I don't know what I'm saying now.
	I'm probably calling him a bitch.
	He's not a bitch, but if I can get bitch into his head, I can scare him a little bit.
	Tom goes.
	The fucking balls are going to me like that.
	Pause.
	Did you hear that?
	I said, you got fucking balls stepping to me like that.
	Now I got the fear in him.
	And this is when I set up for what I like to call the 360 punch.
	Okay?
	So I instill fear.
	You know, when you have prostate cancer, they put radioactive isotopes in your taint.
	I'm planting a radioactive isotope in his taint.
	That makes him weak.
	And then I prepare for the 360.
	Now, the 360 happens so fast that you're going to think you're watching the Tasmanian Devil.
	So you may have to slow-mo this, but it's a cracker of a punch.
	Ready?
	Did you see that?
	Now, I didn't happen to connect, but if I had, he would definitely be unconscious right now.
	Watch it in slow motion.
	And he doesn't know what I'm doing.
	I turn away.
	Whack.
	Didn't actually connect, but what a whack that should have been.
	And he's pretending to laugh there in order to hide his fear.
	Can we just watch it one more time?
	Can you imagine if that connected?
	Now, I have to keep him distracted.
	And I don't know if you're familiar with the scissor kick, where you lift up one leg and then use the momentum to do another leg.
	Technically, you're not allowed to kick in boxing, but you can flail your legs around.
	And that shows your opponent that you're in great shape.
	You got a lot of gas in the tank.
	And it also makes him look down, which makes him vulnerable to an uppercut.
	Let's watch this.
	Get him down.
	And pause.
	Did you see that?
	I do the scissor kick, not just to distract him and get his eyes down, but to get myself low for an uppercut.
	Look at that.
	I'm at least four feet in the air there.
	Up we go.
	Up and down.
	And then I come up.
	And boom, get him in the stomach again.
	This guy's going to be shitting blood for two weeks.
	Okay, so I've planted some isotopes in his taint.
	I did the 360.
	I did the scissor kick.
	Now he thinks it's his turn.
	This is where you really got to put up, you really got to maximize the head bobbing and weaving.
	And watch how intense I get with it.
	You can't get me.
	That means not Seamha Med Floyd Mayweather.
	Mariello doesn't know what to do.
	He is starving.
	You hear that?
	Doesn't know what to do.
	Oh, just pause.
	That's the last thing I'll show you.
	Great trick I learned from Terrence Crawford.
	You go low, hit the body.
	He's like, what's this guy hitting my body for?
	Oh, my body, my body.
	As he's thinking about his body, overhand right to the head.
	Boom.
	Did I connect that one?
	Look at him.
	He's petrified.
	Basically, I hit him.
	So, folks, boxing isn't about who's the biggest, who's the strongest.
	It's about who's the smartest.
	And clearly in this fight, I'm much smarter than my opponent.
	And that's why I was able to beat the living shit out of him.
	You're welcome.
	That song, people keep asking us, who is that band?
	That's our buddy who made it.
	So, do you want me to tell people who you are?
	And he goes, No, you're not really good for my brand.
	I'll be ostracized in the community if people find out that I made you that song.
	He'll be ostrich-sized.
	Cancel culture is real, folks.
	Even your friends don't want to be around you.
	Let's briefly, so that was a fantastic piece.
	When Ryan saw it, he said, was that a real fight?
	Yeah.
	Imagine having a brain like that.
	I bet if I did a CAT scan, it's just like a little mouse's brain.
	Why would you try to find a mouse's brain with a CAT scan?
	But that's the kind of fun thing we do on this.
	So I know subscribers don't want to hear this.
	And by the way, subscribers are going to be taking calls at about 9.
	And that won't be free.
	This is free on YouTube.
	So I like to show the public what an incredible show this is.
	That's right.
	And I'm such a pariah, I can't really get guests.
	No one wants to be associated with me.
	So I'm my own guest.
	And this week we had a scoop.
	We proved that James Corden is a sex comedian.
	At least that's his past.
	He was in a sexual sitcom called Gavin and Stacey, wherein he was sodomized with a double dong.
	And the fact that this man has become America's family-friendly sweetheart just shows that I'm stalling as much as I can while you fucking find this tard boy.
	What are you doing?
	Hey.
	Are you ready for the clip?
	Yeah.
	This isn't a family show, but we do avoid porn.
	We do avoid things getting ahead.
	I want to see it with you, but sometimes the news involves karaoke.
	Family guy.
	And Johnny's a conduct.
	I want to see the part where he gets come up his butt.
	Here he interrupts his friends after this.
	Oh, God, the guilt.
	There we go.
	The guilt of being pegged.
	In this scene, he's realized that he's been sodomized by a sexual pervert, a Dominatrix from Wales, and he is pretending that he regrets that.
	No, mate.
	Look, what's the point?
	You've got to.
	No, you don't.
	I have.
	Why?
	You don't understand.
	She did things.
	Mate.
	She put things in.
	There we go.
	Also, this week, we tried out some...
	And I think it might be the least funny thing I've ever done.
	My God character.
	Ouch.
	I wouldn't be remotely surprised if it appeared on Cringe Reddit.
	I could just see my six-year-old eating cheesies going, cringe.
	It's so not funny that I don't even think I can bear watching it.
	That chest is leathery.
	She's like 60.
	She's got two little kids.
	All right.
	So, I suspect something is up.
	I suspect the deal is because Satan never gives you what you ask for.
	Exactly.
	Jump to God.
	You shouldn't punish subscribers.
	I don't like it at all.
	There we go.
	Hey, buddy.
	Hi, God.
	Basically, in a nutshell, you nailed it.
	That's what is going on here.
	And I don't like it at all.
	That's enough.
	That gives you the idea of what was going on there.
	What?
	What are you doing?
	Trying to show your reaction to it.
	You were really disgusted in yourself.
	You know what was weird?
	While I was doing it, I'm sitting in that mask with that fitted sheet over my shoulders.
	And I'm thinking, this is not funny.
	Like when I did the boxing thing just now, I could feel it.
	This is gold.
	And I'm amusing myself.
	You can feel when you're doing it.
	It's like sex.
	You can tell if she's like, I'm never doing this again.
	This did not work out.
	And you can also feel when you're blowing your mind.
	I could feel me blowing your mind with the boxing thing.
	The God thing, I was just like, what have I?
	I'm never doing this again.
	Also this week, a rumor started that Nick Fuentes is gay because he went on a date with a guy named Cat Boy.
	This is the date.
	Making relationships, which is what they did together.
	To stop men from making relationships because we're dying.
	So then we tried it.
	We went and got chips just like they did, and we made gay jokes and see how it felt, and it felt pretty gay.
	So there's a thing in the Zeitgeist where they're realizing that it's cool for two buddies to sleep together in the same bed and to shower together and snuggle and stuff.
	Bro cuddling.
	Maybe smooch.
	I don't know about smooching, but tickle each other.
	Maybe lie on each other for motivation the same way and fart.
	Like that's not a 69, it's like a 99.
	That's considered cool.
	Wow.
	How does that feel?
	Just kind of weird.
	Yeah, Phil's gay.
	And then finally, we had a...
	Yeah.
	Good punchline.
	Nice ending.
	We came to the conclusion.
	Nick Fuentes is not gay.
	Let me just clear up Nick Fuentes for all these fucking pussies on the right who think he's a Nazi and he's going to ruin the movement.
	It's too controversial.
	Everything about him is normal paleo-con isolationist stuff that most people agree with.
	He's not a Holocaust denier.
	He made a cookie joke once, God forbid.
	His problem is with Israel.
	He thinks we shouldn't be giving them 3.5 billion a year and we shouldn't be fighting wars on their behalf.
	I know plenty of Israelis that don't like the 3.5 bill and think it gives them a bad rep and say, we're doing pretty good on our own.
	We've got our own GDP.
	It's not worth the headache at 3.5.
	And as far as fighting wars, yeah, I think most of us want out of the Middle East.
	So that's not that radical.
	Secondly, they say they're concerned about demographic shifts in America, and that sounds like I don't want white women dating black men.
	And that might be one of his personal preferences.
	But the demographic thing is not an anti-race mixing thing, it's about the massive Hispanic invasion to the tune of 30 million, and the DNC is behind it, and they were doing it to get votes.
	That is why in New York City, illegal aliens can get driver's licenses.
	It's got nothing to do with helping people drive.
	It's about votes.
	I was at the Social Security office the other day, and I counted 35 people.
	I got there right when it opened, so I wouldn't have to wait.
	Only way you can deal with government bureaucracy is to get there before they open, wait outside in the cold, and it'll get down to like, you'll be in and out in half an hour.
	Otherwise, it's ours.
	Anyway, I would say there was out of 35 people, there was three white guys, like who spoke English without an accent.
	There was about 10 black people, but they didn't speak like with an American accent.
	They were refugees, Somalians, stuff like that.
	So, and then the rest were all Hispanics who didn't speak English.
	Plainly had no idea.
	He's like, okay, go sit down there, ma'am.
	She's like, what?
	Papimpa?
	What are you?
	Excuse me.
	Why you, why?
	Sit down.
	It's a very, it's one of the first words you should learn in English.
	Me, you, thank you, goodbye, sit.
	It's very close to the Spanish word, too.
	What's the Spanish?
	Sientate.
	Sit.
	Sit.
	Sienta.
	So yeah, they're calling Nick gay because he's too influential.
	Why are you gay?
	The only movement he's...
	Why do you eat the poo-poo?
	Yeah.
	Waka.
	Waka.
	Anyway, the last greatest hit segment I'm going to allude to is yesterday's I'm of Two Minds thing, where I realized in my phone, I was writing down notes about things that I feel strongly about both ways.
	Perfect example being a pretty girl inviting a handicapped autistic guy to prom.
	On the one hand, I think, don't do him any fake favors.
	It's such a phony gesture.
	And then on the other hand, I think, why not?
	He's having a great time.
	I'm of two minds about.
	You should know as a person that you're a better person when a woman is around.
	And by that, I mean when you've had someone make you a sandwich.
	There's before lunch you and after lunch you.
	And without a woman making you a sandwich, you're going to be before lunch you.
	They've done studies where they've discovered that judges actually give out more lenient sentences after lunch.
	So if you're on trial, you want to make sure the sentencing happens around 3 p.m.
	Anyway, I haven't had lunch yet.
	All right, so that's the weekend review.
	We're not getting to a lot of news items today.
	This sort of free YouTube hour goes by pretty fast.
	Do you have anything you want to cover before we get to the viewer mail?
	Oh, what about the Australia thing?
	Oh, yeah, we were wrong.
	Well, Paul Joseph Watson was wrong, and he's so rarely wrong that I took it to heart.
	He showed, first they said the continent of Australia is on fire.
	And I laughed and said, no, it's not, you stupid bitch.
	There wouldn't be, the death toll is kind of hard to find.
	I've seen 17, I've seen 25.
	And then they show this picture, and I said, no, the continent's not on fire.
	Then I saw Paul Joseph Watson's video and they show the continent on fire.
	And I go, holy shit, I was wrong.
	That's weird, though.
	How could it only be 20 deaths with an entire continent on fire?
	That's the picture.
	You got it there.
	And then it turns out that's an artist's rendition of every fire that has been reported since November or October.
	Yeah.
	And that includes anything that's hotter than normal.
	So like a tin roof or a family campfire would be included in that map.
	So it's basically every time something was hot in the past few months in Australia.
	But the actual map's still pretty grim.
	And the fact that that topographical map is an amalgamation of just a few months shows that there's a lot of fucking fires going on.
	But it seems to be delegated to the bottom right.
	What do you call that?
	The southwest?
	Southeast.
	Is that it?
	I always get confused with east and west when you're looking at a map.
	Is it my southeast, yeah?
	I got to turn around backwards.
	So that's actually not that.
	But yeah, again, as we discussed yesterday, the reason for this fire is because environmentalists prevented brush fires because they thought it was bad for the carbon footprint.
	Brush fires prevent forest fires.
	More guns, less crime.
	It's counterintuitive, but it works.
	And so the greenies are responsible for this.
	Now I'm seeing rumors, and then arsonists on top of that is a major problem down there.
	Nothing to do with climate change.
	Australia's had the same climate basically for the past hundred years.
	And I'm even hearing rumors now that the arsonists could have been Extinction Rebellion.
	There was an Extinction Rebellion guy who was caught lighting fires.
	There was a Muslim kid who was caught lighting fires.
	And Australian was laughing when he was arrested.
	I don't know if they've caught the guy.
	Why the fuck would you look up Extinction Rebellion?
	In case people don't know what that is.
	No, you look up Extinction Rebellion, fire, arson.
	Like, I could literally get a robot to do this.
	If they just latch onto keywords and then show pictures, I can just have like my voice box transcribed.
	No, that's an ancient fucking story, you useless tard.
	I saw fire.
	I saw fire.
	It's a fat.
	Anyway, I've had enough of you.
	I'm going to be taking calls shortly.
	I'm going to go off the grid before we do that.
	Stop looking that up, Ryan.
	You failed.
	And let's go into the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	We got to figure out a different way to deal with all this mail because it's like even that's 100 in the past.
	It's 100 a day, and we get to maybe two a day.
	I want to get that homeless guy in here and just pay him like 500 bucks to do a full day session.
	Do we have his phone number?
	I think I just have phones in 2020.
	What about tomorrow we get him into the studio and just do like in the 1950s, they used to get these women and just make them record 900 songs.
	The peanut duck.
	The peanut duck, yeah.
	Hope one of them was a hit.
	I got to do the Milo show tomorrow.
	We could just get him in one day and just get through all of these letters and we'd have a new show.
	Larry's mailbag.
	Larry's Mailbag, whatever his name is.
	Anyway, in the interim, this is from Nick.
	Public school privilege propaganda.
	Oh, these always scare the shit out of me.
	You want to know about a phobia?
	My phobia is what they're doing to our kids in public school.
	I attend a large Midwestern university, and while living in a dorm last semester, our residential advisor, whatever the fuck that is, posted the following flyers in our common area.
	I couldn't believe how ridiculous some of these were.
	What's taking you so long?
	I wanted to get your thoughts on how inane public institutions have become in regards to the propaganda.
	I like your new sunglasses.
	All the best.
	Now, these are kind of hard to read.
	What do I got here?
	I can't read these, you stupid ass.
	So they're a little stupid.
	Why is there a residential advisor in college?
	They tell you how to sleep.
	White privilege.
	I can't read that.
	You made these too small, you fucking loser.
	They look like...
	Why would you try to read it yourself?
	Look at who's in college.
	Nick, you suck.
	Fuck you.
	That would have been really fun to read these.
	They're called Understanding Privilege.
	There's little cards on their walls.
	That would have been great if you just thought.
	No, you can tell.
	It's a number of pixels.
	What are you going to do?
	Enhance?
	This isn't CSI.
	All right, next letter.
	Frank.
	Clinton didn't kill anyone.
	Interesting.
	You can tell when I've had a shower and when I haven't.
	It's little tufts that...
	I think I might start sleeping in a hairnet.
	Thank you.
	Why not?
	Because we don't sleep together.
	Why would you care?
	It bothers me.
	You're not a lunch lady.
	I won't tell you.
	There was an episode where you went over all the people Hillary didn't kill, and I've been trying to find it with no luck.
	Oh.
	Using both your search function and scrolling through the past episodes reading description, I would like to find that episode.
	Also, I have a theory that trans activist humor phobes have chosen they, them pronouns to confuse group with the individual as a collectivist attack on individuality.
	Any thoughts?
	I don't know.
	If you want to see my thoughts on the Hillary death toll, please check out my article on Tacky Mag.
	I can't help you find the video, but the video was just me rehashing this article, which is called A Hot Month for Clinton's Body Count.
	And I started researching that article very cynically, but holy shit, when you start looking at these, it gets real freaky, real fast.
	All right, last letter.
	The God bit is awesome.
	It's awesome.
	Keep doing it.
	That's all I have to say.
	Signed a guy whose name is Harm.
	Harm Van Essen.
	I think that's pretty clear that that is a man who wants to hurt me.
	Harm yourself.
	And by continuing to do that horrible God joke, which I'm truly embarrassed of, he's trying to wreck the show.
	Doing an imitation.
	And then I find out Stephen Colbert does the exact same thing, but better, and has God in the top of his studio.
	That's even more embarrassing, that it's a bit I stole.
	What are you looking up?
	Some guy wrote an email say, hey, Ryan, Gavin, seems like the news of the entire continent of Australia would be on fire.
	It's exaggerated, blah, blah, blah.
	His Avi Yamini's video he's linking us to.
	To check it out.
	Yeah, we know the whole continent isn't on fire.
	We just answered that.
	Why are you going back over it?
	Why are you reading the mail ahead and then pulling up videos?
	Avi's take.
	It's like you're either way behind or way ahead.
	Why don't you get on the same page as the host?
	We're just looking.
	All right, we're running out of time.
	I want to take some calls.
	Again, go to Johnny Apple.
	Oh, don't forget Covefe.
	Yeah, you should drink that coffee.
	It's the official sponsor of Get Off My Lawn.
	We drink it every single day.
	That's right.
	We are big fans.
	I like it better than my Nespresso at home, to be quite frank.
	I don't like it better than my various cowlicks.
	I mean, look at him.
	He's pimping.
	Please go to johnnyapplecbd.com.
	That's jacbd.com.
	Use promo code GAVIN.
	You get 20% off and free shipping.
	You will not get high.
	You're just going to feel as great as I do every day.
	Check it out.
	The tincture, delicious.
	The topical ointment smells tremendous, feels amazing.
	The gummies taste so great and they help me sleep.
	I cannot say enough about what a badass company Johnny Apple's CBD is and how much these supplements have helped me with my sleep and my workouts.
	jacbd.com thank you for sponsoring the show um but before we go i want to show you let's show 2-7 um this man has decided he doesn't want a pigeon to die uh he's pissed he's a Doctor.
	He's a self-taught veterinarian.
	Make it as big as you can.
	No, no, no, you're...
	Jesus, you're really fucking this up.
	Get ready!
	Wake up!
	Wake up, you bastard!
	Wake up, you bastard, he said.
	There you go.
	And fly!
	How does he have a suit on?
	Come on.
	You can do it.
	God, they kind of tick some insects.
	There you go.
	And fly.
	Animals aren't cartoons, sir.
	What are you dead?
	I need you to fly.
	Like, that guy walks up with his kid.
	Just take your kid and get out of there.
	Your kid doesn't need to see a fucking lunatic whipping a dying bird into the sky.
	Did you hear someone goes, don't do that?
	And then he gives up and walks away.
	Oh, he's doing a little dance.
	Oh, I think I know what's going on.
	He's drunk.
	Maybe.
	Yeah.
	I think right now he's dancing to let people know he's not crazy.
	No, see, you're wrong with everything, hence the name Detective Shitty.
	Like, I'm not crazy.
	He's super drunk, and he doesn't even remember doing that.
	Thanks to Kevfefe.
	Thanks to Johnny Apple.
	Thanks to Johnny Apple CBD.
	Thanks to Bet DSI.
	And thanks to you for following this motto.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	We're going behind the paywall now, and we're taking calls.
	And we're back.
	Do you have access to Telegram?
	Yes.
	You should.
	You know what?
	You should, as a person.
	Yes.
	With your job, you should be subscribed to Washington Post, New York Times.
	Oh, wrong glasses.
	They got Telegram?
	Or are you just saying that separately?
	I'm saying things.
	Oh, okay.
	Washington Post, New York Times.
	Telegram, all that stuff.
	It should all work.
	Amazon, Prime, Hulu.
	Oh, Telegram we couldn't get on the actual desktop.
	That's what I remember.
	Yes, you can.
	I have it on my desktop.
	Say what?
	Anyway, there is a, I don't know what you call it on Telegram, a thread, called Horrendous Trannies.
	And it's all trannies complaining about their operation, about their dilation.
	You know what dilation is?
	Very difficult dilation.
	Very difficult dilation.
	That's when you stick a dildo into the hole they just made.
	Holy cannoli.
	And prevent it from healing.
	Because the body sees you make this hole and they go, uh, I'm trying to fix it.
	Apparently you were stabbed.
	And it keeps working to help things.
	Shouldn't you put the phone number up on the...
	screen.
	So horrendous.
	So you have to put in a dildo and just hold it there so that it doesn't heal, just like gauge earrings or whatever.
	Anyway, Horrendous Trannies has all these people bitching, and then it also has all of these seemingly happy lesbians who have cut their tits off and made these schlongs.
	And the schlongs they make, I obviously couldn't show it on the free part of the show, but they look like burritos.
	And what they do is they carve up your arm, your entire forearm.
	I don't know if it ever heals, but they take off a complete layer of skin from your forearm.
	It's like sociopathic sculptors, really.
	And they make you a penis.
	Now, shall I show you?
	Well, I'm getting Telegram right now.
	This is kind of a weird thing with this show where I mean, I wonder what the boundaries are.
	We don't really have any rules.
	We can play the Rolling Stones, whatever we want.
	But there's some things where I think, will people be mad if we show them some of this stuff?
	What if we play Rolling Stones with the horrendous trendy parts?
	Like, I showed my brother last night, and he didn't seem happy.
	Like, he sent me back a picture of a man-made penis, and he just went, I'm out.
	Which means, why'd you show me this?
	But I mean, I'm totally confused by, obviously I'm confused by all things gay.
	I'm much more confused by all things trans.
	But what I'm really baffled by is this idea of slicing your arm up to make a penis that you can't use.
	Now, if I was a woman, sometimes they're lesbians, but I mean, gay.
	Gay.
	And you think, just use a strap-on.
	Like, you didn't buy a penis.
	Oh, my God.
	There's so much since last night when I downloaded.
	But I got to read you some of this stuff.
	Okay, how about this one?
	Here's a typical post.
	Ready?
	Going through puberty at age 60 is mind-numbing, to put it mildly.
	Believe it or not, I'm currently in that slutty teen phase of my transition.
	Short skirts, heels, tight tops, and red hair.
	And be prepared to have your emotional state feel more like a hurricane at times than not.
	Due to my age, I had my expectations set extremely low, but for whatever reason, I seem to have hit some kind of genetic jackpot.
	The emotional and physical feminization that I am experiencing is beyond phenomenal.
	I've been on HRT hormone replacement therapy for 17 months, and I'm approaching a B cup.
	And I have an hourglass shape forming.
	This is your dad.
	460 for some of you youngsters.
	This is your grandpa.
	My hairline is filling in.
	I have very little body hair.
	I have lost a significant amount of muscle mass as well, as about half of my strength.
	I thought women were just as strong as men.
	Why do you have half your strength?
	Remember, what was her name?
	Blair?
	Blair White.
	Blair White.
	She said that when she started taking hormones, her doctor warned her that she would become weaker and more emotional and stop liking.
	No, I don't think the doctor warned her about this.
	She noticed after that she always loved big dogs her whole life, and then she was grossed out by them after taking the pills, and she liked little dogs.
	I've also lost height and shoe sizes.
	How do you lose shoe sizes?
	Oh, and my sexual changes have been the most profound, and probably the most important is that I am now healthier both emotionally and physically than I've ever been.
	You know what?
	I believe you.
	I also believe that that's not going to last.
	All right, shall I show you this picture?
	No.
	Warning.
	Warning.
	okay So here is his arm.
	So here is his arm, he says.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	That's the arm.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	And then.
	And then.
	Sorry, he says, ATA, I forgot to mention.
	This is a different guy than I was talking about before.
	ETA, I forgot to mention that I now pretty consistently experience a discharge from my penis after masturbating post-orgasm.
	What?
	How do you masturbate that thing?
	If I'm quick or mid-masturbation, if I go for longer, it's basically the same consistency of the discharge I'd have pre-op, but now it's kind of cool because it's like pre-cum or cum, depending on when that happens.
	It's usually a fairly good amount, too.
	If that's not enough for me, I've found that squirting a little Bad Dragon Cum Lube into the tip via a needle-less syringe that comes with...
	Jesus.
	He's squeezing lube into his cheese blints in order to simulate ejaculate.
	He.
	It's really affirming to squeeze out at the end.
	But I don't always do this, just when I feel like it.
	And let's look at who we're talking about here.
	Are you ready for this?
	Okay.
	that's a female.
	Wow.
	See where the tits have been removed.
	See where the tits have been removed?
	And then this is what it makes.
	And then this is what it makes.
	You can see where his arm and thigh have been ravaged.
	In order to make that.
	In order to make that.
	This...
	He's...
	Thank you.
	That's terrible.
	How did we get here?
	I don't know where we are.
	Where are we?
	We're in the future.
	We're like post-apocalyptic.
	We're in Mad Max.
	And the surgeons who did that, I mean, do they sleep like babies at night?
	That should be immediately unethical.
	They're sociopathic sculptors.
	That's what I call them.
	I don't know if, like, if I was at a dinner party or something, or my wife said, hey, you got to meet my new friends.
	Oh, hi.
	How you doing?
	Oh, we're surgeons.
	Oh, wow.
	He's saving lives.
	I assume you do a lot of cancer stuff, removing tumors.
	No, we do sex changes.
	Female to male?
	Mostly female to male, yes.
	We cut off people's forearms and their thighs, and we make weird sort of burritos that they drip out of.
	Oh, oh, oh, that's so nice.
	That's not a good way to show a video drop, dude.
	We see all your garbage, stupid desktop.
	It's supposed to be bigger like this.
	It doesn't do anything.
	Yeah, but it wasn't.
	I gotta fix it.
	Okay, anyway, should we take some calls?
	Are we ready?
	We got a bunch.
	You know, at the bar the other day, I had Jeopardy on during happy hour.
	I know nothing.
	I like Jeopardy, but I know nothing also.
	I know nothing.
	We should play Jeopardy one day.
	Now getting Telegram.
	Cybersecurity.
	Don't be scared of this rare gem.
	And of course, it is Pyrite.
	What is Pyrite?
	I don't know what Pyrite is.
	I don't know anything.
	I love Jeopardy.
	It's on Netflix.
	Holy shit.
	We got Michael talking about the LA Westlake fire.
	Michael, can you handle my monkey?
	What's going on?
	Hey, man, how you doing?
	How you doing?
	You should definitely sleep with that hair near home.
	Yeah?
	I was thinking because my night shirt is just a large flannel with a top button done up.
	And I like to wear.
	That'll work.
	That'll work.
	Khaki shorts and tube socks with slippers.
	Change them to some Chuck Taylors and we're good.
	I hear that that accent that we all see as a Mexican accent is actually the northern Mexican accent.
	I don't know, same shit.
	But anyways, all right, I was working out here maybe in 2017 in LA and I was trying to get away from the inner city.
	In LA, I got a job on the outskirts.
	And I was carpooling with a dude that he was like maybe in his 40s, early 40s.
	And X gang member, lasered off tattoos, kind of.
	And I started thinking, like, well, these dudes aren't that bad.
	And he was a great guy.
	I was working with him and then carpooling, having lunch with him.
	He didn't show up to work one day, right?
	nobody was talking about it.
	And I asked around, and finally, the manager had told me that, like, oh, they picked him up for something.
	And if you look up 1993 West Lake fires in LA, I guess when they were younger, in 93 or something, they started a fight.
	They were extorting the apartment complex manager to let them sell drugs out of the building.
	And they didn't want to let them anymore.
	So they locked in the doors, you know, and they burnt up the apartment building.
	And I think they killed like seven kids or something.
	They killed 10 people, but like seven women, they were pregnant.
	All this crazy shit.
	They felt used a break.
	For 20 years, nothing ever happened to this guy.
	Why the police headquarters?
	Everyone was too scared to come forward for 20 years.
	So yeah, I had lunch with this guy.
	Yeah, that's the funny thing.
	When you watch these crime shows and you see stuff about the mob and everything, you go, they seem okay.
	And then you realize it's because I'm not intimately involved with what they do and they're actually murderers.
	True.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Well, good story.
	No, that's all.
	Sorry, take up your time.
	Thanks, man.
	Thanks, buddy.
	Although, I guess he knew one of them.
	So they were hanging out, man.
	See, that's the problem with these cartels in Mexico that we're going to go take care of.
	Like, how about that Mormon family, the dad who goes, fuck that?
	I'm going down.
	I'm going to take care of business.
	You killed my family.
	I'm going to kill you.
	Dude, you might as well go against Afghanistan.
	This is generations and generations and generations of murderers.
	They use kids as scouts.
	They own the police.
	They own everything.
	I think the American military could take them out, but I'm not positive.
	It could become another Vietnam.
	Like, they run everything.
	You'd have to just sort of blow up the entire jungle to take out the cartels.
	And I think it's because culturally, over time, they've developed a total lack of fear of death.
	So this guy won't let me sell pot in my apartment building.
	I'll just burn it down and kill a bunch of people.
	I don't give a shit.
	They're kind of like Mexican criminals are kind of like jihadists in that they don't seem to give a shit about human life.
	Yeah, and the reason you think they're all, they are nice.
	They are nice and cool.
	You're like, there's no way they've seen murder and death.
	It's like, no, they're just so comfortable with it that they could act normal and do all that shit.
	And Coulter's got a great column out right now about Iran.
	And she goes, how many Americans have Iranians killed?
	Because I think with Mexicans, we're up to about 30,000 a year.
	Because she's talking about all the drugs and the fentanyl and the heroin and the opioids and the gang violence and all that stuff.
	She goes, that's a higher priority of mine than fucking Iranians.
	Can we get out of there, please?
	It's okay, Anne.
	We are out of there.
	It was just a show.
	Just a show.
	Right, we got Carissa.
	Hi, Carissa.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	How are you doing?
	Good.
	How are you?
	I'm doing all right, except for a little shaky after that horror show you took me to a few minutes ago.
	Should I not have done that?
	Awful.
	No, I mean, I've tried to avoid those pictures overall, but it's what's happening.
	It's pretty terrifying.
	I mean, I'm of two minds about it.
	I don't want you to see that burrito dick, but shouldn't people know that they're not getting normal penises?
	No.
	Yeah, maybe just warn the kids kind of thing.
	I don't know.
	But I mean, with your show, I'm not going to have kids watching anyway kind of thing.
	How much would you have to be paid to put one of those cheese blinces in your mouth?
	Oh, my gosh.
	There is no money.
	There's not enough money in the world.
	Well, women always say that.
	Women often say that, and I get it.
	But the problem with whatever price you come up with, even as a man, like say it's a billion, and you're in your beautiful mansion with your private jet, and people are like, Jesus Christ, you must be really good at finance.
	And you're like, actually, I sucked off a giant burrito dick as a dare.
	That's why we're in this giant mausoleum.
	Anyway, what's your question, comment, query, quandary?
	Well, okay, so here's my struggle.
	I don't, I want to be married, but I don't want to be the man in a relationship.
	And I'm not talking about what that woman was doing with the burrito dick.
	I'm talking about I live in the country.
	I chop wood in the winter.
	I like survivalist skills.
	I hike, which I know Ryan, you think that makes me a lesbian, but that's not true.
	And I'm struggling with, you know, I'm a Christian, but even guys at church, a lot of them are just soft and nice.
	And I mean, I want a man that's good, but I don't want a man that's nice.
	And I don't mean like I want a bad boy.
	I mean, I don't want someone that's soft and just isn't able to take on the reality of the world that we're living in.
	Easy.
	You want to know the solution?
	All right, I'm ready.
	I do.
	You need to get a stupid part-time job either in a diner or once a week or a bar once a week.
	Whoa, I just want super blurry there.
	I'm still going blurry.
	Oh, now I'm back.
	Because the beauty of those job service industry jobs is you're coming across like 900 men a year.
	And you're sifting through all these dudes.
	You're sifting through all these dudes, and eventually you're going to meet some blue-collar guy, some welder trucker dude, hunter guy, some MAGA guy who appreciates you and has balls enough to court you when you're off your shift.
	And that's how you're going to find a right.
	I used to say go to church to meet a man, but I see what you're saying.
	It can be either taken or super pussies or closeted homos.
	So get a silly job at a diner or a bar once a week, and you will find your alpha male.
	That's pretty good advice.
	I hadn't heard that one before.
	I was thinking Proud Boy's dating directory, but I know the danger involved in that, all the crazies you're going to get.
	So, yeah, once a week diner spot.
	That sounds like a good one.
	One of the wealthiest guys I know, he just fell in love with the bartender and put a ring on it.
	When I met my wife, she was a bartender at Bait and Tackle in Manhattan.
	Wow.
	It's a great way to just...
	There's just like 900 guys at the bar.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	There we go.
	It's all about quantity.
	Just get enough guys that I'm seeing, that kind of thing.
	And that'll be perfect.
	If I can meet a real rich guy at a diner at a bar, I run a nonprofit.
	We're working on building a retreat center for first responders, cops and firefighters and stuff.
	So that'll be perfect.
	I just need to find a really rich guy in a diner, marry him, and then I'll be set.
	No, not rich.
	Fuck you.
	You solve my problem, Gavin.
	A trade.
	A trade.
	You're looking for a trade.
	Trade, guys.
	Yeah.
	Fair enough.
	All right.
	I like you more than a friend.
	That's true.
	All right.
	I like you too.
	More than a friend, Gavin.
	Thanks so much.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye-bye.
	Robert.
	What's up, Robbie?
	Hey, guys.
	Hey, what's happening?
	All right.
	So you guys are both fucking retarded.
	The age of consent in America isn't a federal law.
	It goes by state.
	So I'm in Wisconsin here, and the age of consent here is 18.
	So I just wanted to make that clear.
	You guys rock.
	So my actual comment here is, I wanted to thank you, Gavin, for introducing me to Dinesh D'Souza.
	I read through his whole book, his most recent book, Death of a Nation, and it's fucking fantastic.
	Death of a Nation?
	Is that what it's called?
	Yeah, Death of a Nation.
	It was kind of a play on a book that came out in like the 1800s or something called Birth of a Nation.
	That was sort of like a white supremacy book made by Democrats of the South?
	Oh, yeah, movie.
	Maybe it was a book that turned into a movie, something like that.
	But yeah, Death of a Nation is his kind of homage to that to make fun of how stupid it was.
	But yeah, this book was fucking fantastic.
	I learned so much history and stuff about the founding fathers that I ever knew.
	Like, you hear so many liberal arguments that America was founded on slavery.
	It's all false.
	It's all bullshit.
	And I've started to realize that everything the Democrats do is sort of in an effort to preserve the modern-day plantation.
	So I wanted to thank you guys for introducing me to him.
	Okay, well, you're welcome, sir, and thank you for calling.
	You know, when...
	Did you hang up?
	Yep.
	Well, you only get one point.
	That guy was three.
	I'm sick of this.
	First, I want to say you and Gavin are retarded.
	Then I want to talk about a book.
	Now I want to ask you if you'd rather be buried alive or drowned.
	These are the ages of content.
	And what are they?
	17, 18, 17, 18, 17, 18?
	Yeah, 16 in a lot of the states.
	16?
	Yeah.
	I think that's what Jeffrey Epstein was doing.
	He was doing 16.
	That's really young.
	16 is young.
	Yeah, it's not my interest.
	I fucked 13 year olds when I was 16.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And it was not fun.
	It was a lot of "ow, ow, get you, ow!" Oh, your arm is out.
	Your arm is out.
	Sorry.
	Oh, get it.
	You get up here.
	hate when they drop your microphone then you have like a 40 year old divorced Puerto Rican and she's like no Is that your story?
	No, that's Mark Ryan.
	Okay, gotcha.
	He found a condom in your lady's posterior.
	That's bugged out, right?
	He goes, I just found a condom in your pussy.
	And she goes, I know, that's bugged out, right?
	You know, she was chewing gum.
	That story is so real.
	I don't know why Puerto Ricans say bugged out.
	Remember the origin of that story?
	The origin of that story is Mark Ryan and his buddy Trevor go, wait a minute.
	We've lived in New York for decades.
	No one's ever fucked a Puerto Rican.
	It's like a different world.
	We're white guys in the hardcore scene, CBGBs and all that.
	They're like Puerto Ricans in their whatever rap scene.
	Like Romania.
	Why don't you try to fuck them?
	And so they would just go up to Puerto Ricans on the train and be like, hey, what's up?
	I'm Mark Ryan.
	And it worked.
	Not difficult.
	Spanish chicks are goers.
	Dominic Johnny Dominicans.
	Hey, dude.
	Yo, what's going on, man?
	Ryan thinks your name is pronounced Dominic.
	Dominic.
	No, you said Dominic.
	Johnny.
	Oh, it's Johnny.
	I was talking about Dominicans.
	What's up, dude?
	Yeah, man.
	I just wanted to say that I work with a lot of Dominicans, and I've noticed a lot of the dudes are like low-key MAGA.
	Yeah.
	With like their immigration.
	Like, my boy was telling me, because we're talking about it, specifically, like, immigration.
	And he was saying, because in the Dominican, they have the Haitians.
	And the Haitians are like, they're Mexicans.
	So, like, they don't like the Haitians that come in.
	And he thinks that, like, it's goofy when we talk about how much, you know, like the Mexicans and stuff.
	So he's always like, no, man, we don't like immigrants either, bro.
	Yeah, I noticed that when I'm on vacation in the Caribbean, I turn on public access.
	And it's all these Jamaicans talking about how much they don't appreciate Dominicans.
	And then Dominicans talking about how they don't appreciate Haitians.
	And all these different countries saying, like Bermuda saying, I don't want these guys from wherever coming in.
	Everyone is against immigration, but in America, we've been brainwashing and thinking it's racist.
	It's not racist.
	It's classist, if anything.
	DDP.
	You know the other thing about Dominican.
	The other thing about Dominicans is Puerto Ricans, all they need is their aunt to buy a plane ticket, and they're here because it's America.
	But Dominicans have to struggle to get here.
	So when they finally get here, they're not into other people cheating.
	Yeah, we have, where I'm from, we have a big city that's all Dominicans.
	And like, so I work with a lot of them.
	And like the hardworking ones, man, they're very conservative.
	And like, you know, he was saying he wanted, we were talking about the wall, and he was like, Yeah, I don't know, see why we don't just have the military pull up and start like shooting people.
	And I was like, Bro, that's you know, like, that was even extreme for me, but I thought it was funny that, like, a Spanish dude was saying stuff like that.
	DDP, Dominicans don't play.
	Yeah, man, they don't play.
	They don't play.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	I like you more than a friend.
	All right, man.
	Big up.
	God, you suck at hanging up.
	Brad, you either let it go too long or you shut, you cut them off.
	It delays for a second.
	So I'll press drop, and it'll be like one drop.
	It's like about two seconds.
	I just click talk, and now it's working.
	Brad.
	Hi, Brad.
	Hello?
	Sorry about your name.
	Good.
	Sorry.
	It's actually Brett with T's, but it happens.
	That's better.
	Yeah, we're working on it.
	I actually just had a couple of videos.
	Well, a video and a guy I thought you should check out since you like Jack Moss so much.
	But the video is called Deadly Hoot on YouTube.
	It's a real hoot itself.
	And then the guy, he's an Ontario fella, and he sells apple juice.
	And he's decided to invest all of his money into his own late night show, which is a joke.
	And he produces these movies like The Sicilian Vampire.
	It's just a garbage show of fucking shit.
	Also, Trudeau's a fucking goof.
	I just had to say that.
	Wasn't the Sicilian vampire...
	Wasn't that on?
	Yeah, he was on Anthony Cumia.
	Yeah, he spends all his money and he just hires all these people to come and hang out with him and then he directs them around and he's a real fucking fool of a guy.
	Yeah, I saw him on Cumia once.
	All right, well, thanks for calling.
	We are going to go on a bender.
	Is it Deadly Hoot?
	Yeah, Deadly Hoot.
	Deadly Hoot.
	Deadly Hoot, yeah.
	Okay.
	So anyway, I said thanks for calling.
	So that's where you fucking do your goddamn job.
	Sicilian Vampire.
	I remember this on Anthony's show a long time ago.
	Spending tons of money on movies is such a fucking woodchipper way to spend money.
	Like the movie I did of Death of Cool, the guys want 600 grand.
	I sold Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants to Netflix for 15 grand.
	How am I going to make the other $585,000?
	Things can change in a millisecond.
	What a concept.
	That's him, right?
	Yeah, he puts himself in the movies.
	He's like the room guy.
	Frank D'Angelo.
	Frank D'Angelo.
	It's so funny when you're in Canada and you hear Italians with that accent because you're like, you must have got this from a movie.
	Mr. Trafficante, what can I do for you?
	There's James Kahn.
	Appreciate that you're meeting with me, but what I'm going to tell you, you're probably going to think I'm crazy.
	You have to blank out the trailer?
	Sony Trafficante dead.
	He's costing us money.
	He's got to be dead.
	What should we do?
	Oh, Eric Roberts.
	I want to be by myself tonight.
	You guys need to go?
	What exactly is going on?
	Sena wants people to leave.
	People got to be.
	Ramandar Sante.
	How do Americans know all these fucking actors' names?
	I don't know.
	It's like Jeopardy all over again.
	Michael.
	Wait, which bald one is that?
	Anything.
	I'm going to thanks for turning us on to that ancient news, dude.
	Well, Deadly Hoot, I guess, is his new one, but nothing poses.
	They're not really current.
	I know you're wondering what I'm drawing right now.
	Oh, sick.
	Yeah, nothing comes up for Deadly Hoot.
	It's like a Hispanic quasimoto with victory above it.
	So I'll call it Round Round.
	This is not even a Deadly Hoot.
	This is a small ass cookum boot.
	Uh-huh.
	Deadly hoots are too deadly, man.
	Cookum boot.
	That's how.
	One of my people?
	Is that a native Indian?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, those are kind of like...
	Next caller?
	Hey, Ethan.
	Hello.
	Hey.
	What's going on?
	Not much.
	How's it going?
	Maggie Longclaus is pregnant, you know.
	Hey, so my wife and I, about a year ago, moved out.
	We decided to move out like further out than the burbs, actually.
	We have three kids, three daughters, and my oldest daughter is six.
	And she told me the other day, hey, dad, did you know that if I want to be a boy, I can just like tell you the mom and you guys can like make me into a boy?
	And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
	So, you know, I kind of held back my blood from boiling and got down to the bottom of it.
	And some kids in her class were telling her this stuff.
	And I just, I mean, I obviously explained to her that that's not true, but I looked at my wife.
	I said, holy fuck, we just made this huge move all the way out here.
	And we still can't get away from this fucking bullshit.
	And so she's in second grade?
	She's in first grade.
	And the problem with that is you go, all right, this is it.
	This is my Hilda dying.
	I'm going to go fucking ballistic.
	So you go into the school, you scream your head off, you talk to the principal, it becomes a big thing.
	You're banned from the school.
	Your daughter's pulled out.
	Like, it becomes your American Revolution, that one thing.
	And now you're ostracized in the community.
	So when you're confronted with a detail like that, you go, Is this it?
	Like, is this the alarm?
	Am I the fireman?
	Do I go down the pole now?
	Or do I shut my mouth and live to fight for another day?
	It's a really tough call as a parent.
	But I think you stop that!
	The fuck's the matter with you?
	That's three times this show you've been tooling around on Google and starting videos.
	Well, I'm looking for a Deadly Hoot.
	Yeah, Deadly Hoot's done, retard.
	We're onto a new caller now.
	Yeah.
	And so it shares the same audio with the calls.
	Yeah, so don't search videos, especially things we've already talked about.
	Don't go to Frank D'Angelo's page.
	Obviously!
	So you broke your whole mic now?
	Yeah, you made me break my mic.
	I made you.
	You did three.
	I let two others go.
	Well, that was your telegram you wanted me to download, and I had to take off the...
	Anyway, yeah, I guess if it's other kids saying this to your daughter, you're not going to fucking go braveheart into the school screaming your head off with a giant sword to dissuade another couple of six-year-olds.
	But this is the world we're living in.
	The question is, when do you, like, when is it time to go to the school and cause a scene and become that guy in your neighborhood?
	I would say when a teacher tells your daughter that she can be a boy, that's when it's time to cause a stink.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And I'm praying to God every night that I don't have to wind up getting into that situation because obviously I'm going to have to do what I have to do.
	But yeah, you know, I just, I mean, you know, you hear about it out there all the time.
	You see all the news stories about it.
	I just didn't think this fucking young, there'd already be kids running around on the playground, you know, regurgitating this stuff.
	It's just, it's just sickening.
	When we moved to the Burbs, my kid was five, and I think he was in first grade or kindergarten, whatever.
	And he told me, I hate Trump.
	And I said, why?
	And he goes, because he never listens.
	I thought, hmm, I wonder where the fuck he got that from.
	Or in church, they took the kids aside, and they told them that Martin Luther King was killed by a gun, and the nun, the sister, whatever, said, I wish I could take all the guns in the world and pile them up in a huge pile and have a huge bonfire.
	Wow.
	All right.
	Thanks for that.
	Yeah, man.
	I just wanted to know that, dude.
	I know, and I like you more than a friend.
	Kayla.
	Kayla.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Hey, I just wanted to say I appreciate a Trump supporter out there that I can actually watch videos of.
	I'm the only one that's not a nerd, really.
	Even Tucker Carlson's banned from YouTube.
	I mean, it's a sad state that we're in.
	And I noticed you said you didn't have many female callers, so I just thought I'd let you know.
	There are, you know, we're few and far.
	Where are you?
	Where do you live?
	Minnesota.
	What's the weather like there these days?
	Fucking terrible.
	Is it snowing at least?
	No, no, it's not snowing.
	It's just bitter cold.
	I'm sure it'll be raining or snowing, you know, by the end of the week.
	Yeah.
	But yeah, just wanted to say I appreciate your videos and yeah, don't quit doing them because I look forward to them.
	Okay, well, thanks for tuning in.
	It's nice to hear from abroad once in a while.
	Right.
	Millennial wanted...
	Again, Ryan shits the bed.
	It takes two seconds, literally.
	So then you gauge it out.
	You know that I'm saying that, and you either let her say her piece or you cut it off right when I say, like, thanks.
	Okay.
	Clicking talk.
	Like, it's not rocket science.
	Sean.
	Hey, Sean.
	Sean.
	What's up, dog?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey, what's up?
	Hey.
	happy to actually talk to you guys.
	Um, Gavin, huge man, and thanks for your work.
	Um, Yeah, can we bring back Ryan's Asian shoe salesman character, please?
	Yes, thank you for calling.
	That's a great tip.
	I can't hear you very well.
	Yeah, it sounds like I can.
	But Ryan, why don't you turn on your camera?
	Does that work?
	Yes.
	And why don't you give us some of your Asian sneaker pimp?
	Let me see.
	What should I review today?
	Why don't you pull off one of your own shoes?
	Oh.
	Okay, number one shoe right now.
	Totally easy.
	I mean, first of all, look at fabric.
	Okay?
	I know a lot of people sleep on this fabric here, but look at the small detail.
	Okay, my cousin made this for 5 cents an hour.
	Okay.
	Very nice detail.
	I feel like I need a hat or something hype.
	Like, they never wear nerdy just shirts.
	They're always super hype.
	They always have Supreme.
	Supreme everything.
	Like, I have a zit.
	They're always like doll-faced perfect Asians, and I'm a Jungle Asian, whatever I am.
	Jungalasion.
	I feel...
	Jungalasion.
	I'm going to call you Jungle Asian.
	But I really, I want to use the green screen and start doing YouTuber stuff.
	Yeah, you got some big plans.
	Big plans.
	I got big plans.
	All right.
	So Iran.
	We gave you a little dose of that.
	Thank you for calling.
	Who do we got next?
	This is Iran.
	And Iran.
	Iran so far away.
	Could you get away?
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Hey, God, calling from your homeland of Canada.
	Oh, where in Canada, fuck?
	Oh, fuck, but Kitchener, Waterloo, kind of near Hamilton, but oh, okay, over there closer to fucking T.O., eh?
	Yes, sir, absolutely.
	I saw there was a shooting down in Ottawa, downtown.
	Oh, really?
	I hadn't heard about it.
	Oh, yeah, they had to shut down Bank Street and all that fuck.
	But that's out of your league.
	That's a few hours away.
	So how's it going over there in Hamilton?
	You fuckers got a 2-4 fucking Givener?
	Oh, absolutely, bud.
	You know, Thursday night, y'all too.
	But just wanted to call and say me and my brother, big fans of Ryan.
	I know he fucks up a lot, but funny content.
	But anyway, when it comes to Iran, it's hilarious.
	People seems like everyone, or half the people, liberals in America, they'd rather be living in Iran than America.
	They think America is the bad guy, but we're just bullying poor Iran.
	They've never done anything bad.
	Yeah, they just want to win.
	They're Bolsheviks.
	So all they care about is power and winning.
	And if that means America gets flushed down the toilet, fine.
	Bill Maher said it himself.
	He said, I wish the economy would tank so we could say Trump fucked up and failed.
	They would rather everyone suffers so they could be right.
	They're like ex-girlfriends.
	They're crazy ex-girlfriends, fucking bitches.
	You want to know a good trick with a 2-4?
	So you say you get a 2-4 of Molson, right?
	You drink it real carefully.
	You're real careful with the caps.
	And when you're done, you fucking fill it with water.
	And then with any kind of an implement, like a leather man or a wrench, you just fucking tap the cap on again, or if you can, twist it, twist it.
	I came up with this back before Twist Off, so I guess you could just twist it off again.
	So you meticulously drink the 2-4, fill them back with water, and then you go to the beer store and you go, hey, I'll get a case of Molson Canadian.
	They give you the case, right?
	You go to the cart, you change it with the 2-4 you just made that's full of water, right?
	And you bring that back up.
	Did I say Molson Canadian?
	I meant Labatz Blue, fuck.
	And then they go, oh, okay, no big deal, sir.
	And they take the water, Molson-Canadian, and then you get a new Labats Blue.
	Great tip.
	I'll try that out.
	Yeah, thanks for calling.
	You can't ever go back to that beer store ever again, unfortunately.
	We got a giveaway to give, too.
	Next caller, do you want to give it to them?
	It's CBD Box.
	Johnny Apple CBD Box.
	Okay.
	It has to be in American, though.
	Because customs get so weird.
	Hey, Will.
	Hey, what's going on?
	Curious what your thoughts are, Gavin, on the Federal Reserve, more specifically about the economy and shit.
	A lot of people are talking about the Fed and their actions with their balance sheet.
	They're getting up to a $4 trillion balance sheet again, similar to what around the crisis in 2008.
	Curious what your thoughts are.
	Yeah, I lack the IQ to have really profound insight on the Federal Reserve.
	All I know is our debt is fucking insane.
	What are we at now?
	$17 trillion, $20 trillion?
	With no possible way of paying it off.
	Going to the gold standard sounds good.
	That seems reasonable.
	But I'm afraid I don't understand it enough.
	It's sort of like I was talking to Alex Jones today about vaccines, and I was like, I don't know.
	I'm not smart enough.
	Why does this keep going blurry?
	I think you should center out more.
	Because it'll only focus on what the center subject is.
	I don't think that's true.
	So sorry I can't help you there, bro.
	But thank you for calling.
	All right.
	Next we got talking about Australia and them fires in California.
	Okay.
	Hey, Fireman.
	What's up, Firebug?
	Did you do these fucking fires in Australia?
	Yeah, you firebug.
	Yeah, that was me.
	Actually, I wanted to tell you that the reason Australia and California and shit like that is always on fire is because they're the equivalent of shithole countries full of liberals.
	But, you know, California is all the women are so feminist, just aggressively anti-male that men disproportionately import their wives from other places.
	And California seems to be full of like an equal number of liberals.
	So I think that that's God's reason, you know, he's just like, yeah, these places suck.
	I'm going to light them on fire.
	Well, I think you're right in the sense that he doesn't literally go, but when you have tons of liberals, there is a check and a balance.
	There is a stopgap, and that is liberals say, don't have any brush fires.
	Don't prevent forest fires.
	And the next thing you know, you get forest fires.
	God has plans like when a brother and a sister have a baby, they make a retard.
	When you come up with dumb environmental plans, you get a massive forest fire.
	He's trying to teach us through trial and error.
	Is it like a fever?
	Like your body heats up and fevers itself?
	Yeah, I guess, sort of, yeah.
	He's burning our stupidity.
	I think it's just, you know, redemption.
	But I wanted to go into detail on that because, you know, on the liberal media sources like Instagram and everything, it's all anybody wants to talk about.
	But one of your last callers was talking about his daughter telling him, hey, dad, you know, a girl can be a boy now.
	And that fucked me up so much.
	I wanted to bring that up because I'm trying to deal with that shit myself.
	My ex-wife is super LGBT and open about, you know, making sure that it's okay if you want to be a boy someday.
	And being divorced, I have to play the role of dad.
	Like, no, you're my fucking daughter.
	Like, you're supposed to grow up to be a girl.
	I'm sorry to tell you that.
	And they're trying to tell me, oh, well, it's okay if boys wear makeup.
	I'm like, no, especially not if his dad is a fucking veteran.
	Don't put makeup on that little kid.
	When his dad comes to pick him up, he's going to lose his fucking mind.
	And, you know, my girlfriend and I, at some point, we want to have kids, and we're hoping that they're boys, praying that they're boys.
	And I'm just struggling with how to raise a boy to be a fucking man in the, you know, the environment that we're in.
	It seems like there's no way I'm going to be able to avoid everyone telling him, hey, if you feel like a girl, if you're feeling, you know, a little feminine, it's okay if you want to lop your dick off and have a fake vagina planted in there.
	How do I escape?
	There's no winning this battle, it seems like.
	Well, the problem with you divorce people is you start rocking the boat and all of a sudden you're losing custody, like that guy in Texas who couldn't be around his kid because he refused to acknowledge that his son was his daughter.
	You're on thin ice.
	Yeah.
	But it's also a toss-up between, you know, do I stay in their lives and make sure that they grow up to be decent people or do I just take hands off and let their mom raise them to be psychopaths?
	You know?
	No, to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, never stop fighting.
	You have to keep fighting for your kids and telling them the truth.
	And when you give a kid enough love, then they care what you have to say.
	So when you're there as much as possible and being affectionate and making it clear you care for them, and then you say, actually, no, that's not true.
	Here's another perspective.
	and they're open-minded,'cause you've been around.
	Yeah.
	Like kids are like a store.
	And when you put in money into your account, then you can have a stick of gum and stuff.
	You get out what you put in.
	And you'll notice when you're with a kid, if you spend like two hours with them just going for a walk or something, and then later you go, hey, don't do that.
	They go, oh, not this.
	Oh, okay.
	Because there's a relationship there.
	If you pop in out of nowhere and go, don't pick that up, they just go, fuck you.
	So it's important that we're there every day that I can.
	Maintain our relationships.
	And then also, you know, you can still promote masculinity with the boy when they're not at school.
	You say, what are you crying?
	You're crying about that?
	That makes you cry.
	Like, I'll tease my boys if they're crying about something stupid right in their face.
	Yeah, a buddy of mine has a son that's just, he goes, oh my God, it's so cute.
	And he just lost his fucking mind.
	He goes, okay, honey, you got the fucking daughter you've always wanted.
	And he just put on his coat and fucking left and met me at the bar because he just couldn't handle that his son was turning into a fucking girl.
	But I mean, I try to, you know, I try to do dad shit with my daughters too.
	And hopefully that that shows them the role.
	Like, you know, my little one wants to play football.
	She wants to play football.
	I'm like, I don't know if they'll let you do that in school, but I'll throw a pigskin in the yard with you.
	Fuck it.
	Right.
	And the beauty of being a good dad with girls is you show them how they should be treated.
	So when you're around there...
	Right.
	You're giving them respect and you're, you know, listening to what they have to say.
	And then when they go on a date, they go, this guy's treating me like shit.
	That's not normal.
	Men are supposed to listen to what I have to say.
	Yeah, he should be treating me like how I see dad, you know?
	There we go.
	I had an issue dating all along after I got a divorce for years.
	I had issues with, it turned out I was like, what the fuck is it just all women?
	And it turned out that all the women I was dating were all liberal fucking psychopaths that would try to take you to court as soon as you break up or, you know, try to screw you over just because they felt slightly inconvenienced by something that you did.
	And it turned out that all of them had shit relationships with their dads.
	I found a girl.
	She's actually, she's the one that turned me on to get off my launch.
	She got me the free speech TV sub for the year as a birthday present.
	And as soon as I found a conservative woman with a good relationship with her dad, all I needed.
	All I was looking for all along was just a decent MAGA girl because that's all you need.
	Where are you?
	So thank you guys.
	Where are you?
	I'm up in New Hampshire, actually.
	And it took until just now to realize that the Canadian accent's a little bit like the New Hampshire accent.
	I guess the further fucking north you go, a little bit more like Canada your accent gets, because up in Maine is the closest we get to Canadian accent compared to here.
	I was just talking to Tucker about Maine and New Hampshire and Vermont, and I got to say, it's some of the best liberals in the country.
	They're pro-gun, big American flags on their yard.
	I know that you had some shitty experience dating, but when you compare them to Madison, Berkeley, Portland, I kind of like Northeast liberals.
	they just, they get the math wrong with the tax, but otherwise...
	So we get a lot of imports from Vermont, where everyone's super bernie in Vermont, or kids from down in Massachusetts that come up to go to the public school or the public, like state college around here.
	And the liberals in the college, at least the college students, the millennial liberals, they're dog shit.
	All of them running around with proud as fuck and Bernie Sanders shirts on.
	And, you know, I go out with a holster on and I open carry and they look at me like I'm some terrifying person just because I fucking love my country.
	Like, fuck you.
	Yeah.
	As a tourist.
	But I try to make a point too.
	And, you know, you don't necessarily have to shit on people, but when I see someone who's got the burrito dick, like you showed earlier, I see those people all over the college campus.
	And I just make a point to just give them a good long stare.
	Just really just look at them.
	Make them uncomfortable.
	Make them know that people are looking at them like, you're an abomination.
	I'm sorry.
	You don't fucking belong here.
	If you feel that way, there's a safe space somewhere else.
	And why don't you just stay indoors all day over there and blog about how you fucking feel?
	Because when you go out in public looking like a man in women's clothing, real life isn't Monty Python.
	It's not funny to us.
	I'm sorry.
	Yeah, you look fucking ridiculous.
	All right, callers.
	Well, thanks for calling.
	Good luck with your girls.
	All right, do they want girls plural or do you just have one girl?
	You know what's amazing about guns?
	They're so powerful that they make bad men worse.
	As in the south side of Chicago.
	And they make good men better.
	Like some of the best conservatives in the world are these hunters and conservationists, the best environmentalists you can ask for.
	In the Northeast, New Hampshire, they're doing all these preservation thing.
	The Ducks Unlimited guys in Canada, they're all hunters who want to make sure that ducks are there so they can hunt them, and they do more to preserve wildlife than any environmentalist could ever hope for.
	That's who saved all the lions in Zimbabwe, too.
	We see these pictures, even Jim Norton was all pissed off in Ricky Gervais when they see someone with a big lion.
	When you see someone holding a big lion or a big elephant, that's someone who has saved thousands of elephants and lions just by making that pastime marketable, by making it financially viable.
	It's called counterintuitive thinking.
	Please try it.
	More guns, less crime.
	See a deadlion on Instagram, more lions lives saved.
	See a guy hunting ducks, more ducks.
	You want to save trees?
	Buy more lumber.
	The more paper you buy, the more viable trees become, the more forests there are.
	The free market was God's plan.
	It's what's best for everyone.
	Communism is playing God.
	That leads to genocide.
	And dead elephants and dead lions like we had in Zimbabwe when Mugabe was running the show.
	All right.
	Next caller should get this box, no?
	Okay.
	Tom?
	I don't care about that stupid box.
	I mean that awesome box.
	Yes.
	Do you want to box a CBD?
	Yeah, sure.
	All right.
	Your number's 570, right?
	It starts with that?
	It is.
	Yeah, that's it.
	I'll take you down, and congratulations.
	Here's Gavin.
	Thank you very much.
	I appreciate it.
	Hello, Gavin.
	Hey, man.
	I got my Clown World t-shirt in the mail today.
	Oh, cool.
	I love it.
	Does it say free speech TV or censored TV?
	Oh, where would it say that?
	On the tag or on the mailing desk?
	On the back?
	No, it doesn't say anything on the back.
	Oh, okay.
	That's good.
	But I had a tip for Ryan real quick.
	Take brain pills.
	Yeah, no.
	When I get yelled at at work, sometimes I do, often I do, I just say, you know what, you're right.
	I fucked up.
	I'm sorry, and it won't happen again.
	That might be your best bet when you get yelled at.
	Because I notice sometimes you try to point out other things, like the microphone.
	Oh, you broke your microphone.
	Or like make excuses.
	Just say, yeah, I'm sorry.
	I fucked up and I won't do it again.
	That's a good point.
	Thank you, sir.
	But thanks for calling, Carla.
	That's a great tip.
	But Ryan is incapable of learning.
	For example, when we were skiing, he was wearing a Carhartt jacket.
	And me and this other dude, his buddy, said, is that waterproof?
	And Ryan goes, yes.
	Okay.
	Later, we noticed that it's soaked, drenched.
	And the dude goes, what's his name again?
	Hodge.
	Hodge goes, he said that was waterproof.
	I knew it wasn't waterproof.
	And I go, watch this.
	We're about 20 feet behind Ryan walking towards him.
	I go, watch this.
	He will not learn from this.
	He will still get more steadfast in his beliefs with this data that contradicts his beliefs.
	So we walk up to him and I go, hey, is your jacket waterproof?
	And he goes, yep.
	He's in a wet jacket.
	And I go, how is it waterproof?
	And he goes, the water doesn't get to me.
	It stays on the outside.
	That's all I need it to be.
	I don't need it to be dry.
	In other words, if you wear seven flannel shirts and you go out in the rain and you're dry, your shirts are waterproof.
	No.
	No?
	No.
	What if I wear three sleeping bags on my head and walk outside in the pouring rain?
	Am I wearing a waterproof?
	That's less effective than one jacket that has never gotten me wet.
	Not once.
	But it's wet.
	All right, then it's not waterproof, but for my phone.
	Oh, now that you're being recorded, it's not waterproof.
	But what is the point of being wet?
	Yesterday you said it's actually there's a membrane.
	There is, there is.
	There's a secret membrane in between the quilted lining and the car heart.
	There's a secret plastic barrier.
	It is marketed to not get you wet.
	You do not get wet.
	Okay, well, why don't you pull up the page you're on right now?
	So can you show me waterproof anywhere on this page?
	Water repellent, but...
	It's right here.
	Oh, I see.
	Water repellent and wind resistant.
	I think water repellent means like if someone goes for working men outside in the rain.
	And it never gets me.
	Dude, that thing was soaked, correct?
	The outside of it?
	Well, yeah, but you had only been skiing for so long, snowboarding, and you had a huge wet thing on the back and on the sleeves.
	There were still dry parts, but if you had kept, if you had stayed out, you would have been soaked.
	There's no membrane.
	Okay.
	I know my jacket.
	I mean, I bought it for that reason.
	I've been in the rain, just standing out in the rain, smoking cigars and that thing.
	I know it real well.
	It never gets wet.
	It's just cotton twill, right?
	That takes a long time to drench, just like a peacoat.
	Is a peacoat waterproof?
	No.
	Exact same story.
	Next caller.
	I'm glad we stopped the conversation while I was still here.
	We got Biggie.
	Is your name Smalls?
	Is your name Biggie?
	My name is Viggy.
	V-I-G-G-Y.
	What kind of name is Viggy?
	I was born in Lithuania, man.
	My full name is Zigimantas Fakalowska.
	It's much easier.
	You know, I heard that in Germany the word Higgy means that perfect buzz you get when you're at a nice meal and like the right amount of wine, but not too much wine, and you got like a good satisfied food booze buzz.
	It's called Higgy.
	Yeah, sure.
	that's me.
	That's me.
	Okay.
	What can I do you for?
	Okay, so here's the thing.
	I'm 23 years old, right?
	I was a theater major.
	I didn't know shit about myself until about now.
	And now I'm trying to figure out how to get friends.
	Like, it's impossible right now.
	I live in Stanford, Connecticut.
	Like, it's impossible to find people who are even understanding of supporting Trump, of anything like that.
	So I'm just trying to figure out how do you make friends at this age when you don't know anyone who can even understand what you're trying to believe in.
	Go to a bar that's nearby on a regular basis.
	Let's say Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7 to 8.
	Get to know the bartender.
	Get to know the staff.
	And you will slowly learn that being in liberal states like a lot of Connecticut, unfortunately, and where I am down here in New York, we're the gays of 2020.
	We're like gays in the 50s.
	So you'll be talking, and you'll notice that some people will go, yeah, yeah, that didn't seem like such a bad idea, what Trump did.
	And then you'll sort of meet eyes, and then you'll talk later, and you realize you just found a secret Santa hiding amongst the rubble.
	They lurk everywhere.
	They're there.
	You just got to be regular.
	If you want to make friends, you need to make a regular habit.
	So go to the bar.
	Like, I have like three different bars in Midtown I go to during happy hour, and I know the staff.
	I've been going there for so long.
	I have my Thursday crowd, my Wednesday crowd, my Monday crowd.
	I know them all intimately.
	Invite them to my house.
	Like, we're very close.
	And I've found the Trump guys.
	The non-Trump guys, I just avoid that subject and don't get into it.
	And there's, of course, people that are neither pro-Trump nor anti-Trump.
	They're totally apolitical.
	Those are good dudes, too.
	So develop some habits and a routine, and friends will follow soon after.
	Okay, one more question.
	Can I ask one more question?
	Okay.
	Okay.
	My fiancé doesn't like how much I drink.
	She thinks that because I drink every day and, you know, it helps me, you know, open up with people that I know and helps me, you know, connect politically and such.
	She thinks that's a problem.
	How much of a problem is it to drink every day?
	Well, culturally, I'm Scottish and it's unheard of not to drink every day.
	The bar is part of your routine.
	And in Manhattan, in New York, everyone has a beer after work.
	They just have to.
	In fact, more people are in bars than in their own homes because their own homes are fucking tiny in the city.
	How much do you drink?
	I drink, okay.
	Do you know Luzonitas?
	No?
	Lagonitas.
	Oh, yeah, Lagonidas, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I drink seven or eight Lagonitas a night.
	That's a lot of beers.
	Do you slur?
	Do you ever wet the bed?
	Never.
	So just lie.
	That's right, too.
	Yeah, yeah, it's been working.
	Yeah.
	You just drink the beers elsewhere.
	You know, I have a very weird compartment in my office that's by my fireplace where I keep my maker's mark.
	I don't think my wife even knows that's a cupboard.
	I think she just thinks it's a wood wall.
	There's no need for, as long as you're not slurring or wetting the bed, there's no need for women to know how much you drink.
	And if they come from a different culture where they think it's evil or wrong, then don't let them in.
	No, she's Greek.
	She loves it.
	I mean, she's used to it.
	She's half Greek, half Puerto Rican.
	I mean, that's her culture, basically.
	Puerto Greekan.
	Puerto Grican.
	Those are sweet treats.
	Boy, I bet you get up to some rude bits in the old sex.
	She's from Queens, so yeah, absolutely.
	Yeah, all's fair in love and war, and don't tell women what you're up to.
	It doesn't do them any good.
	They are victims of their own curiosity.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	I hope that helps.
	We're running out of time here.
	Can we give them some CBD?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, you're going to figure that out.
	Sir, do you use CBD?
	I just bought from Johnny CBD like a week ago.
	Holy shit.
	Well, you won the giveaway, sir.
	It's over $110 value of what you just purchased because you're the winner.
	Okay, so can you call him Mac link?
	Oh, yes.
	You did it, dude.
	I'm freaking out, man.
	That's awesome.
	Congratulations.
	All right.
	Thank you, sir.
	I have all your information.
	I'll text you after the show.
	All right, that's it.
	That's enough calls.
	Thank you for your input, folks.
	A lot of advice this episode.
	We've been getting advice, giving advice.
	A lot of advice, giving advice, giving advice, frankly.
	Giving, getting.
	Let's end on a funny video.
	Okay.
	What should we do here?
	Oh, let's just do the Charrettes chick on Twitter from Scotland.
	This was kind of viral, so you probably saw this already, but I want to get it on file.
	It was from today's notes.
	It's 2.6.
	Gotcha.
	And I can't...
	Okay.
	I'm usually pretty good with these.
	Hi there.
	How are you doing?
	I'm Leona.
	I'm 21.
	I work in Patterns Organic and Aberdeen.
	And I like playing music.
	I'll play the violin.
	And I like to practice yoga.
	I'm looking for a guy who is sensitive, is hopefully not a complete minger.
	Between 20 and 30, who just wants to play a rap.
	Fuck!
	Hi there, how you doing?
	I'm Leona.
	I'm 21.
	Working patterns organic and abroadine and So fake.
	Yeah.
	And if you get edited, why not edit those out?
	Exactly.
	I guess the argument would be to get used to the fact that I do that.
	No, well, then you're going to show yourself like maybe do a few twitches.
	But not I play the cunt.
	Yeah.
	I play the cunt, by the way.
	Oh, wow.
	Yeah.
	Are you good?
	I was.
	I was in my heyday.
	When you're married, there's not a lot of cunt to play.
	No, no.
	There's no need for all that.
	Your wife doesn't go, can you finger me, please?
	Oh, my God.
	I don't need you to finger me so bad.
	I haven't been fingered since the 90s.
	You know why they call me the Jimi Hendrix of cunt playing?
	Why?
	Because he's dead and doesn't play guitar anymore.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.

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