S02E108 - GOD’S MUSIC [2020-01-07 - S02E108 - GOD’S MUSIC]
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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis.
Come on now.
What's up, dudes?
Do you like my new look?
By the way, I didn't shave or cut my hair the whole holiday.
I got more of a Grizzly Adams thing.
My wife suggested it.
She was really, let's say, inebriated one night on vacation.
And she said, your beard's gross.
And I said, should I shave it?
And she goes, no, that'd be worse.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that was a crazy night.
That was Ozzie Osborne introducing the show.
A hell of a show tonight.
We got Nick Fuentes being gay.
We have God on the show talking about Satan and selling souls.
By the way, Satan, if you're watching this episode, here's a tip.
Go to every liberal in New York City, especially ones that work at the New York Times, and say, I will make all of these black people stabbing Jews into MAGA guys, white dudes, like the one that Juliet Smollett was talking about.
What's his name?
Jussie.
Juicy Smollett.
I'll turn them into Maggie guys, but I get your soul.
You will be...
They want that so bad.
When they found out that the guys doing the stabbings were black, and that it had been happening for a long time, and all the Williamsburg Hassids who were getting attacked is young black kids with no dad.
Fuck.
And when there was a philosophy behind it, like the black Hebrew Israelites, they went, shit.
But they still crowbar white supremacy into it.
And we'll get to that too.
I hope.
But first, I need to talk about that song.
I haven't checked in on Ozzy since his shit show of an What would you call it?
Drug exploitation where you see this fried guy on his MTV reality show and you just see this poor fried bastard going I don't even know how to work the fucking remote There's so many buttons I can't turn the bloody TV on It was like he was in hospice.
What the fuck's the matter with that guy?
I want to eat an avocado so it's not like in his hand a crumpled up piece of paper What's with his lips?
I think I'm going to get him a watch.
Why is he whistling?
Hi, Aussie.
How are you?
It's a brain-damaged man.
Hey, Aussie.
Hey, Doug.
Get your nitrous going.
Like, it would be funny if it was Alice Cooper or someone who was a death metal, scary, monster, Satan guy.
And then you see him, like, going golfing.
But this is just sad.
Anyway.
Enough.
Yeah.
So check out this video.
Dude seems to have plastic surgery disastered himself.
He looks fucking bizarre.
it out Well you gotta click on it straight to hell video You know what that's what I was I found the the straight to hell video it's it's just a lyric video.
Okay, wait here we go Okay, that's cool monsters He doesn't sit up the entire video A lot of like Antifa vibes too You know he reminds me of Corey Feldman.
Oh no, he definitely has a little look to that yeah man See what I mean that's Antifa Antifa are cool fighting the cops with what like plastic swords what are the oh did you see that go back it's just a split second gotta be fast look at that weird cartoon what is that
He looks like Caitlyn Jenner.
A little bit, yeah.
What the fuck have you done, Oz?
Grow a big white beard.
You're an old man.
You could be Satan with an old white beard.
You can still be scary.
I'm scary.
I got a white beard.
Look at this.
They're trying to be down with the Antifa kids.
I want to be a rebel like these rich NYU students.
They're holding plastic toys.
Wait, turn it up.
I can't hear shit.
Caitlyn Jenner's in her limo.
She can't drive any...
She killed two women.
It's an okay song.
It still sounds cool.
Defecate.
That's pretty badass.
So, is the plot of this...
Look at that face.
Why can't he stand in the video?
Prop him up with a broomstick or something.
Weekend at Ozzy's.
Holy shit.
What a loser.
Stand up.
And Antifa's not cool.
Even when they have guar props.
Devil is my best friend.
This is so L.A.
grandfather's mad at me he can't stand but he's gonna make me bleed with his Antifa troops is this Andy Node's nightmares oh my god Caitlin is that like Botox filler in his face?
What are you gonna do with the chainsaw, dude?
Cut the cops in half.
Breakdown.
Alright, this is all.
Remind me of this song Kale Hartman sent me.
Remember Kale?
The guy who had his life ruined by fake rape allegations?
Me too.
September.
But I was talking about our new favorite guy, Jerry Cinnamon, who is gifted by God.
God chooses certain people and just goes jeep.
I call them the yesterdays, based on the movie Yesterday, where this guy just seems to know all these songs because no one's heard of the Beatles.
There are a few people that have been yesterday, but there's others.
They seem to have sold their soul.
Anyway, we'll get to that.
But this guy, I think, was yesterday.
And he is, I believe his name is Billy Strings.
And he did this unbelievable song that I can't get enough of that he wrote.
That guy is a fucking bummer.
Get him out of the shit.
Chris Pontius?
Yeah, with the...
I hate people with bags.
We went out on that.
Maybe his shoes, that pub crawl, the Peaky Blinders thing, and everyone had a bag.
I'm like, what's in your fucking bag?
These are all huge, burly, heavyweight boxers.
I go, what's in your bag?
He goes, oh, a jacket.
It might get cold.
You put a jacket in a bag.
Yeah, like a little knapsack with strings.
That takes away from the aesthetic.
Yeah.
What's in your bag?
A toothbrush?
I'm going to slap my knee.
No, I'm going to do a funny clap.
No, I don't know that.
I'll just hold on to my bag.
That sounds funny.
My tweeter friends have got me to the point of no return.
I just take my lighter to the bowl and watch it burn.
This life of sin, it's got me in.
Lord, it's got me back in prison once again.
I use my only phone call to contact my daddy.
I got 20 long years for some dust in the bag.
Dusty in the baggage catcher.
So good.
Why is that guy laughing?
This is hilarious.
This is a weird fake laugh.
His face is so painful and awkward.
He's a Cro-Magnon man.
They hate his guts.
Stop that fake laugh.
Get out of the world.
Go to another place.
It's my first time.
Woo!
Woo!
I don't even want to kill him because his body will still be on Earth.
Shoot him to the moon.
You got a dube under your fucking ear.
You got a dube under your fucking ear.
Wait, are you smoking it?
What are you doing with your dube?
Just giving it a blowjob?
Archie Bunker.
What are you doing?
I was just holding it in front of his face.
He's the worst guy in the world.
What are you doing?
chewing it.
This This has like 3 million views.
So three million people have had to look at this douche with the bare feet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's got me here.
Lord, it's got me back in prison.
It's going to have that Jimi Hendrix thing where the guitar just seems like an appendage.
Alright, that's not it.
I saw another video with Billy Strings.
It comes up as a recommendation when you see that one.
It's not on my list.
But it's him and two other guys.
Yeah.
Dude, his ears have been massacred.
He has Syrian refugee ear holes because he got gauges.
So one of them is just a big dangly hole hanging there.
And then the other is, look at that.
The other is right out of Lord of the Rings.
He's got an upside-down elf ear.
I want to start a charity where we pay for shit like that.
Fuck the kids in Africa with hair lip.
We want to get ex-hipsters normal earlobes.
I think it's $1,500.
When you add hipster to how good he is, it kind of takes away from the genuineness of the folk.
For me, at least.
It makes it seem like kind of a kitschy.
I think he went to jail.
That Dust in a Baggy song sounds very like first person.
Yeah.
Turn it up.
Can I just take a pill that makes me play guitar like that, please?
I could never learn that in a million years.
I was considering learning the other one.
Can you play that fast?
Yeah, fast, yeah.
I don't know.
It's really good.
All right, that's enough.
Sorry, long musical interlude.
I was thinking about some musical themes we could do, too, for the next few shows.
One is in Canada, the government makes sure that you play what they call CanCon, Canadian content.
And it makes for some of the shittiest fucking bands you've ever heard of in your life, and you've never heard of them in your life.
Platinum Blonde, The Parachute Club, Beulah.
And then, of course, we have the French Canadian, Eric Gagnon.
Double-vie!
Whoa.
It's just some shocking stuff.
Maybe we should do a whole Canadian music Special because every time I'm in the car with my wife in Canada, she goes, What the fuck is this on the radio?
I go, It's Stand Up by the Parachute Club.
What are you, deaf?
Another thing I'd like to do is a whole thing on the DC hardcore scene because, sort of post-hardcore, there were some great bands like Shudder to Think, and DC Discord Records would put out this compilation called State of the Union that has some great songs, including some beautiful acoustic jams.
That could be fun.
But as far as today goes, I want to introduce a new segment called Diarrhea or Cocaine.
This is 1-3.
This is Michael Bay on stage helping to promote Samsung's curved TVs.
And he can't handle doing his speech.
I think the monitor breaks and he has a meltdown.
I can't figure out if this guy has to take a shit really badly or if he did a huge rail right before he came on stage, which I did in Vice Days as a young man, and it never turns out well.
You always just come out and go, hey, I don't know what I'm doing.
So I'll let you try to figure out if this guy's bowels are about to explode or his eyeballs are about to fall out of his head.
Director and producer, Michael Bay.
A megaphone, he's a director.
How is everyone today?
My job as a director is I get to dream for a living.
Michael, you know, you're known for such unbelievable action.
What inspires you?
How do you come up with these unbelievable?
I create visual worlds that are so beyond everyone's normal life experiences.
And Hollywood is a place that creates a viewer escape.
And what I try to do is, as a director, I try to cut.
The type is all off, sorry, but I'll just wing this.
Tell us what you think.
Yeah.
Pretty simple.
We'll wing it right now.
I try to take people on an emotional ride.
And the curve?
How do you think it's going to impact how viewers experience your movies?
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
Did he hold his ass?
Ladies and gentlemen, let's thank Michael.
Let me go back.
He held his ass.
How viewers experience your movies.
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
No, I don't.
He puts his hands behind his back like a duck walk like this.
For sure.
Right there.
Okay.
Yeah, that did seem hurried.
Behind the TV.
I'm going to go with diarrhea.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with diarrhea.
Let's look at the hands.
Let's look at the hands.
This is only the second time I've been happy to have diarrhea.
To get diarrhea.
The other time I was playing Scrabble and I got it on a triple word score.
I had the two R's.
I really, I don't know what my score was.
It was like 85.
What do you think?
So we're both going with diarrhea?
I think diarrhea.
Diarrhea.
Yeah.
Diarrhea.
Every time you mention diarrhea, we lose another female subscriber.
And every time you fart around your wife, a blowjob loses its wings.
Which brings us to, speaking of Hollywood, there's been some more Golden Globe coverage.
Now, we did it to death yesterday, but there's a couple things I need to squeeze in.
And mostly it's the backlash, which is awesome.
You know, when I watched, when I saw, I'm sorry, the type's all screwed.
I'll just wing it.
I saw um I'm sorry the curve uh Ladies and gentlemen, Gavin McInnes.
I don't know.
When I saw Blue Steel, what's that?
Zoolander?
Yeah.
I watched it.
I thought it was okay.
Whatever.
Kind of funny.
But I thought, wouldn't it be awesome if male models were pissed off at this movie?
Like, Blue Steel's not a fucking look.
That's not how we act.
This is bullshit.
And my wife worked in fashion, and she did tell me she managed to scrounge up a couple guys who were pissed off about it.
Not that exciting.
But when the Golden Globes thing was going on, I thought, wouldn't it be great if there were some celebs or at least some sycophants who were pissed off?
And they go, you're taking the luster off my star.
Because LA is predicated on the myth that celebrities are special.
You strip that away, it becomes the Rust Belt.
It becomes Detroit.
LA without luster is Detroit without cars.
And Ricky Gervais just went and tore the luster off.
So there was two articles.
One of them was the LA Times.
This is 2-2.
It's a Muslim, of course.
Lorraine Alley.
Her background is like writing about Billy Idol and stuff.
She's a music critic, but in LA, that's considered an academic.
So she's got a review.
Politics reigned at the Golden Globes.
Too bad Ricky Gervais didn't notice.
Wait a minute.
Ricky Gervais said at the beginning of the awards show, let's reign in the politics, and then the politics was reigned in.
He doesn't have a time machine.
Yeah.
So the headline shows how fucking stupid she is.
I'm sorry.
This is going to come across as fairly sexist, but women can't write.
Like they always spell names wrong.
They don't get general concepts.
Here's what I think they're doing wrong.
When you write an article, let it fester for one day.
So finish it one day before the deadline, then let it fester and you'll remember shit.
Like, wait a minute, I'm saying Ricky didn't notice, but he told people not to be political at the very beginning of the thing.
So that doesn't make any sense.
Despite Ricky's scolding, the politics, nah, I got to work on my headline.
You just fix it like right there, kind of.
Despite, you know.
She could have said, Ricky rails at relatively apolitical show.
Or Ricky calls Golden Ricky complains Golden Globes too political.
No, Ricky complains relatively apolitical Golden Globes was quote unquote too political.
Something like that.
Anyway, fix it for you.
So here she is saying, but at the Beverly Hilton, where the three-hour plus ceremony took place, the mood was already sober thanks to an impeachment, the threat of war with Iran, and devastating bushfires in Australia.
What are you talking about?
25 people have died in Australia.
That's terrible, but it's a bad weekend in the south side of Chicago.
No one's concerned in America about Australia besides celebrities that want to show off.
Go outside right now and say, how about Australia, huh?
And people go, I'm sorry, the kangaroo place?
You mean Crocodile ND?
No, the fires.
Oh, yeah, I heard there were some fires there.
What?
Like, we've had fires in California to worry about.
They came from Australian trees, by the way.
Really?
Oh.
They're a first world country.
Am I wrong?
Yes.
No, you're not wrong.
So why would they need to help them?
I don't know.
And people are saying, send money down.
Yeah, that's what they need, money.
There's one thing fires hate, it's money.
Money's flammable, by the way.
There's only so many hoses you can spray anywhere.
So yeah, she says the mood at the Beverly Hilton was somber thanks to an impeachment.
I thought that was a victory for you guys.
So that should put you in a good mood.
The threat of war with Iran.
What are you, what are we, 10?
What am I, 10?
What am I five?
What am I five?
And devastating bushfires.
Anyway, the last thing needed was for the smirking master of ceremonies to reprimand them for having hope or taunt the room for trying to use their influence to change things for the better.
That's the whole point, you stupid bitch.
They don't influence us.
Leonardo DiCaprio is not helping climate change by saying, watch out for climate change.
No one gives a shit what he says.
Maybe little kids retweet it a bunch, but actual humans, no.
They don't give a fuck.
So there's this myth that famous people have 3.5 million followers on Twitter.
So if they say something, it's using their platform to really send out a no.
Say you have 3.5 million followers and say, everyone here should read War in Peace.
Is it Dostievsky?
It's a really good book.
Like three copies will get read.
Coming from a celebrity, it means nothing.
Patricia Arquette, a winner for the Act, noted that the continent of Australia is on fire.
Oh, it's Tolstoy.
War in Peace.
Tolstoy.
The continent of Australia is not on fire.
It's on the outskirts.
Within a speech condemning President Trump's recent targeted killing of Iran's general Suli Amani, while Fosse Verde winner Michelle Williams, we discussed this yesterday, user acceptance speech to defend abortion rights.
Even Gervais eventually relented, sending off the telecast with please donate to Australia.
Jesus, fuck.
And then we had, so that was the LA Times.
And The Guardian, exact same person, by the way.
I'm not happy with this acronym, Ball, Boomer Angry Woman Liberal, but they just keep popping up.
Someone told me you should use the term Hillerite.
That's a better name.
Yeah.
Look at 2-3.
Jim Norton had a good point about that last quote.
He said, Ricky Gervais didn't, quote unquote, reprimand them for having hope, you stupid biased ass.
You got to say bitch, Jim.
He mocked them for being self-important, phony woke, and hypocritical.
Obviously, Jim Norton, like the band Vampire Weekend, doesn't give a fuck about an Oxford comma.
He should have had a comma before that end.
But again, a ball over at The Guardian.
This is 2-4.
If there's a place for cheap humor, it's at Friday Night Work Drinks After One Too Many, an episode of South Park, or in a Best Man's Risque speech.
It's certainly not on the stage that birthed the Me Too movement.
One that should respect its power for mass influence.
I love it.
It's like Gervais said, will you make fun of the British monarchy?
You have your own monarchy, and people worship it.
And here is a British person worshiping the American monarchy.
The awards were certainly not free from activism, much to Gervais'chagrin, I imagine.
Powerful speeches were given by actors, including Jennifer Aniston on climate change, Joaquin Phoenix on veganism, Michelle Williams on abortion rights, and Patricia Arquette on the conflict between Iran and the US.
But any meaningful...
He wasn't making schoolboy jokes.
He pointed out that Jeffrey Epstein is your friend, Hollywood, and he raped kids.
Didn't he fuck like 15 and 16 year olds?
I'm starting to defend these people.
I don't know.
Like, didn't 16 year old girls voluntarily get on the plane?
I don't know.
Am I going to hell?
The age of consent in America is 17.
He just likes them a little too young, perhaps, maybe.
I always pictured that they were just, he was like baby trafficking for some reason.
At least they're trying to use their platform for good and shouldn't be taken lightly.
And then here's my favorite line.
Remember the other day I was talking about how there's certain sentences I want to amalgamate as sentences that sum up the decade?
There was that one about the guy who said, let's face it, parents often don't know what's best for their kids.
The community has to raise it.
Little sentences like that.
Here's one of those sentences.
I want to look up to anything that has at least a little craftsmanship to it so that Hollywood feels above Me with its otherworldly talent.
I want to look up to something so that Hollywood feels above me.
And Gervaise comes along and goes, Why?
That's gay.
That's stupid.
Why do you want, like, I keep saying that to people at the, you know, the White House, oh, Trump isn't presidential.
Yeah, fuck the president.
Don't trust these people.
No one's better than you.
Don't imbue them.
Oh, Bernie, can you handle my finances for me and then dole out what you think I deserve?
Can you be in charge of me?
You know better than me about me and my family.
Can you decide what happens?
The White House is just a glorified DMV.
All those shitty, lazy people you see when you get your driver's license, those are the ones making policies.
That's Maxime Waters.
That's Nancy Pelosi.
You know, if she were to look up to the Golden Globes as a thing with craft.
I see your face while you're talking.
Then she...
Yeah, if she were to take that advice and look up to something that feels otherworldly and above her, then she wouldn't be writing a scathing thing about the host of the thing.
Why?
Because it's on TV.
So she wants to get lost in this whole like, wow, this is a show and I want to be.
Yeah, but Ricky Gervais is the anti-celebrity.
Like Trump is the anti-politician.
But it's still a part of the show.
But he was mocking the show.
Yeah, but it's still on the TV and she's not.
So he's above the show.
No, stop.
Just no.
By the way, with your hair right now, you look like you're being born.
Those look like pubes and you look like you're coming out of your mother's Puerto Rican vagina.
Wait, my face is coming out of the pubes.
Yeah, that's pubes.
Your hair is pubes.
Right.
I can't account for the neck and the t-shirt.
Those should be legs there.
Gotcha.
There should be woman's legs there.
Oh, I get you.
Yeah, you look like you're being born.
So there shouldn't be more muff down here?
No, that's the female taint.
Okay, gotcha.
Which is a very small item.
And a very good band.
By the way, I'm sure everyone's seen this by now, but let's just, for the sake of mentioning Australia, because our heart goes out to them.
The continent is not on fire.
It's a very shitty fire.
It's killed 25 people.
We've had worse Muslim shootings.
And by the way, I know that your entire neighborhood is on fire.
Watch the F-bombs, please.
Language, guys.
Holy fuck.
That behind me is fucking Malacuda.
Fuck.
Malacuda.
We decided to fuck off from the fucking house.
Fuck it.
Because now the fire front's come through.
Everyone's safe and sound.
Got the girls and the dogs up the front.
Got supplies, but I hope everyone's fucking just fucking fuck the houses, man.
Get into the water.
It's fucking chaos.
Fuck.
There's anything like it.
How long can you stay out there?
On the sea there?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
I guess you sort of go along the periphery of the coast until you find somewhere not on fire.
Damn.
Anyway.
Don't send money to Australia.
They don't need it.
Send water.
Send hoses.
Send hosers.
Send fucking hosers, eh?
Hey, fire, why'd you go fuck off there, bud?
All right, let's get back to the important news.
Nick Fuentes is gay.
Whoa.
Yes.
This just came out.
No, we knew something was up with him.
Oh, he's on a date here with Catboy.
They went to get some chips, as we say in the British colonies.
Who's this Cat Boy?
Catboy is clearly a gay prostitute, sex worker.
Wow.
Let's watch them being gay lords.
You just fucked my chips.
You know, the reason why that's this idea that's been brought into the zeitgeist, right?
Can you hear what he's saying?
He said, do you know about this idea that's been brought into the zeitgeist?
This is an analyst because we're dangerous together.
to stop men from making relationships because we're dangerous when we're together.
Yeah!
Oh, it's like, oh, you give your friend a hug, oh, yay.
Yeah, you miss your friend on the list.
Oh, yay.
Oh, you have a shell with your friend.
Jay.
Belly's fall.
And that looks pretty gay, but we thought maybe he's just joking around.
So we decided to try it, Orion and I. That's right.
Ourselves.
And this is what happened.
So there's a thing in the Zeitgeist where they're realizing that it's cool for two buddies to sleep together in the same bed and to shower together and snuggle and stuff.
Bro cuddling.
Maybe smooch.
I don't know about smooching, but tickle each other.
Maybe lie on each other for both fish in the same way and fart.
Yeah.
Like that's not a 69, it's like a 99.
That's funny.
And that's considered cool.
Wow.
How does that feel?
That's kind of weird.
Yeah, it feels gay.
So, I mean, we tried it.
We researched it.
Yeah.
And it felt gay.
A little bit.
What's 1-5?
Someone was saying that the Groypers would even defend something like this.
Nick Cocksuckers will defend him going on a 10-hour date with this guy.
Is that the same guy?
Catboy looks like it's Catboy.
So Catboy is what is he?
Queer positive anime guy?
No, I think he's straight.
Oh, okay.
I watched a Nick addressing this thing, and he's not a sex worker.
He's not gay.
Notice the anime girls in the background, and they just went on a thing.
And I think what he was trying to say is that for some reason in the zeitgeist, there's this, hey, it's gay to hang out with guys, so that way they're not, you don't bond and start basically like, you're making it.
Nick is getting too powerful.
He has too much appeal.
So he must be sabotaged.
So fake alt-right dudes and the far, far-right is chuck a block with feds and liberals and ADL and SPLC and all of these social workers who get in there and try to foment dissent.
And the best way to do that is to address the fears of 14-year-olds.
What's a 14-year-old boy's biggest fear?
Faggotry.
I saw Rocky Horror when I was 13, and the gay scene in it where Frankenfer seduces Barry Bostwick, it was like a thorn.
I loved the movie, but then there was this thing in it, like a tumor.
Now, if I were to watch it now, I'd be like, I don't know what I'm eating there, I guess, fries.
Oh, he's a fag.
It wouldn't, it would just bounce off.
I'm over faggotry.
I like that's how you watch movies.
I eat long fries.
Yeah.
I smuggle them in.
You watch Star Wars?
You're like, flying.
Oh, they're fighting like Darth Vader or whatever.
That would be so annoying.
By the way, speaking of Michael Bay, didn't he do Ryan Reynolds' new movie on Netflix?
Was that Michael Bay?
That seemed like a Michael Bay.
Yeah, what is it called?
Six Underground or something?
Yeah.
Sorry to go off of a tangent, folks, but on Christmas vacation, Ryan and I stayed in one day because it was raining.
And we watched Paul Blart Mall Cop.
Great movie.
That includes criminals who come to take over the mall and rob everyone's like, I don't know, big Christmas Day bonus, whatever.
And the gang is made up of parkour people, skateboarders, and BMX stunt guys.
That's the gang.
So there's scenes of the cops, you know, chasing a guy on a skateboard who's doing Ollies and shit.
And then the parkour guy is jumping up the elevator, which is fucking stupid and gay.
And then we watch the new Netflix Ryan Reynolds movie.
Exact same thing.
Yep.
Their main guy's a parkour, dude.
And bad guys are busting out skateboards.
It is so fucking bad.
There's one, my favorite scene in it is they have a toast to this next mission.
The angle, there's so much promotion in this movie.
First of all, the whole setup is them going to different places in Europe and taking advantage of the various film shooting tax breaks that you get in Europe.
But there's a scene where they're making a toast and the camera is facing the Captain Morgan's rum and the glasses.
The actors are in the background blurry.
Exactly the same as Captain Morgan's commercial would be.
Anyway, same thing with Mall Cop too.
There's a lot of product.
Oh, yeah, well, it's shot in a mall.
They were actually the same movie.
If I wasn't lazy, I would, or maybe we should do that.
Should we do a video?
Outline how they're the same movie.
Six Underground is Paul Blart Mall Cop.
Yeah.
Five Reasons Why.
Okay, I will do that video.
Let me write that down.
So there's the promotion.
Sorry, you have to watch us have an editorial meeting live.
There's the promotion.
There's the skaters.
Parkour.
I'll count all those as different ones.
And then I think they both have a thing where you shoot a gas thing and it explodes.
Anyway, did Michael Bay direct this or not?
He did.
He did.
Totally makes sense.
There's...
It's just like...
There he is.
If there's one thing you need when you're pulling off a heist, it's a guy to jump from building to building.
Why, you ask?
I don't know.
He'd be on his mic and he'd say, yeah, they're coming around the corner.
Couldn't you do that with a drone?
Look at this.
So many fucking vias in Italy.
Run way!
Come back!
Wrong way, he yells.
I can't see you.
I'm in a car in an alleyway going 120 miles an hour.
I can't take parkour tips.
Run the corner.
Anyway, same movie.
That'll be a funny video we should do.
So yeah.
So what they want to do is they want to sabotage Nick.
And the best way to do that, the best way to make young men hate you is to convince the world you're gay.
Now, 22-year-olds don't care.
People would say that to me all the time.
I remember we used to ironically like Screwdriver, which were a Nazi band.
And people would try to shock us by going, you know, Ian Stewart was gay, right?
Okay.
Congratulations.
That doesn't end anyone for me.
Yeah.
Why would I give a shit who's gay?
That's gay.
Anyway, they did it to me too.
I hashtag me too.
So I come from a jackass world where butts are funny.
I have a tattoo of a butt on my butt with a tattoo of a butt on its butt.
I have a tattoo on my butt.
What's the tattoo on your butt?
Smiley face.
Why'd you get that?
I didn't know you had that.
Yeah.
Wait.
It's right there.
What a weird, gross, fat smile.
I made that.
Is it eating a burrito?
No.
You have a tattoo of your ass of a guy barfing out a burrito.
No, I've...
It's my own smiley face.
Oh, my own smiley face.
I pioneered.
See, people say that Ryan hasn't invented anything or done anything of note.
Oh, really?
He invented a burrito smiley face.
It's cute.
What have you done?
What are you showing us now?
That's not what I saw.
No, that's a normal mouth.
Your mouth is like a big fat tumor banana.
Oh, damn it.
Well, I didn't.
It's open-mouthed.
Your emoji's open-mouthed.
Dang it.
I've never said open-mouthed.
I haven't seen it in a while.
You know, another thing we watched.
So you were talking about butts, though.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Back to butts.
Welcome back to Back to Buts, where we talk about all butts, all things butt all the time.
Back to butts.
Actual butts.
So yeah, a long time ago on my old show, we were talking about how Hillary Clinton is a terrible dancer.
And I go, she dances like she has something up her ass.
Now, Compound Media had a lot of butt plugs hanging around because they'd have porn stars on their shows.
I guess I did too.
We'd have porn stars on our shows.
So I saw a butt plug on the shelf.
I go, watch this.
I managed to get like part of the top of the butt plug up my ass.
And then I start dancing around better than Hillary with something up my ass.
Pretty stupid joke.
I've done this cotton joke a million times.
I once said, you know how they say, I once did a magic trick on the street where I had a butt cheeks pierced together?
I had the card up my ass.
So I'm like, what's your card?
What's your card?
It's called Street Carnage Street Magic.
I'm not sure it's still on.
But it was a fake, the deck was all the same card.
So I had some fake cards stashed in my body.
And so this girl chooses a card and I go, was it this?
Was it this?
Was it this?
And it's none of those.
And then eventually I have it rolled up in a condom in my butt.
So I pull it out and unravel it.
And that's her card.
Here, turn it up.
Maybe I should grow my hair long again.
That was a cool dude.
What have we here?
These are tourists going, you suck, because I kept getting it wrong.
And then I waited till they were leaving.
Oh, well.
Sorry for wasting your time.
That's it.
Annoyed Europeans in Chinatown.
That wasn't great.
Sorry.
Goodbye.
A lot harder than I thought.
Wait, wait.
I just thought of something.
Hold on.
I think I know where it is.
Was this the card?
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
It's hard to get out.
There's a lot of resistance there.
Was this the card?
I know how you did that.
You had 52 cards in your ass.
And so no matter what they picked.
Well, while everyone was doing that, I was sorting the cards with my anal lips.
That's a lot of them.
With the walls of my rectum, I was shuffling the cards.
One second.
Have your card.
Dude, I can see you wincing.
You're obviously shuffling 52 cards in your asshole.
You're obviously butt shuffling.
And then I noticed when I was on the way to that trick, I was in a bad mood.
And I thought, holy shit, what's up your ass makes sense.
Yeah.
Because you are in a bad mood when something's up your ass.
And then I thought, well, that saying, who pissed in your cornflakes, maybe that makes you grumpy too.
So I pissed at a bowl of cornflakes and ate it and burnt my tongue to shreds.
It's like it really hurts your tongue.
Same way hot water does, like your tongue stings after.
Interesting.
Anyway, the alt-right hates my guts.
And I think the spies among the alt-right, sorry, there's two separate things here.
The alt-right hate my guts because I shekel, what it was, I shill.
Shekel for Hebs or something?
Jews, shekels.
And I'm a race mixer.
No, cuck for shekels.
Don't hate fags.
That's it.
I cuck for shekels.
But this particular group, I don't think are bona fide alt-right.
I think they're the spies.
And these spies became obsessed with my butt plug.
And every comment, there's always in YouTube videos, there's always a comment about butt plug, and he puts butt plugs up their ass.
And they made it into me like on my show, anally sodomizing myself, like going, uh, keep watching, guys.
Like I do, I'm a cam boy now.
Your little chimes go off, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Thank you, guys.
Thanks, Matt.
Yeah.
They made it seem like they hacked you and that they found that in your private.
Yeah, that was the other weird thing.
I did it on my show.
Didn't think you'd get away with that, huh?
Yeah.
Any his I think that's what they're doing to Nick now.
And this evidence that he made a joke while eating fries is fucking pathetic.
But when we look at the rings yesterday on Solomiani, I realize we're living in incurious times.
We're in an epoch of mental obesity.
And you can get away with bullshit like this.
Look at Kale Hartman.
Shut down because some chick posted an Instagram picture of bruised legs.
Ah, he's rapist.
Terry Richardson, an 18-year-old girl in Britain, says to H ⁇ M, don't hire him.
You're a rape apologist if you do.
Okay, he's fired.
Career is over.
Shuts down his studio.
Everyone is laid off.
Because a fucking kid made a tweet?
Yeah.
But there is something gay in this video, and it's the fact that there's another grown man breaking down a video of two dudes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the gayest part is the dude with the beard giving a shit.
With the pink shirt, the gaming chair.
Yeah, what a fucking loser.
So if you see here, that's obviously gay.
How the hell?
That's the state of man today.
Yeah, a man watching two other men and claiming that's gay.
It's like these sexless, overweight, out of shape, cynical douchebags who you often see in the studio audience at Compound Media.
I remember in the 90s, they always talked about how much they hated Juliani and they miss Old New York.
Revenge of the Sis.
Those two fucking losers are like that with their mics in their face.
Oh, you know those guys?
The whole show?
Hey, that guy sucks.
They're just, they're riffers.
They riff.
Yeah.
It's called not having a fucking life.
Speaking of not having a life, we also watched the TV the night of New Year's Eve because we had kids there and the kids wanted to see the celebrities and the ball drop and everything.
And I was looking at Cheryl Crowe.
This is 1.6.
And she's singing for what?
The 8 billionth time?
All I want to do is have some fun.
I got a feeling that I'm not the only one.
And I thought, this is a medieval torture.
Like, if I was king and there was a songwriter I didn't like, I'd say, hey, nice song.
We built this city.
I like it.
You're going to sing it every fucking day for the rest of your life.
We built this city.
Isn't that the perfect punishment for someone you hate?
Yeah.
And here she is.
Like, this is not a reward for writing a good song.
Look at her.
Ugh.
Ugh.
You know what else?
It's so old.
Doomed about it too.
If they change it to be a little fun and different, people don't like it.
We hate it.
No, make it like the CD.
Yeah.
I don't do it again.
Yeah.
Like the CD.
Like, they don't even know it.
They're too young.
Look at her face.
She looks like she's getting a colonoscopy.
I'm overusing colonoscopy as a joke, aren't I?
I think it's been every show.
Ooh, that chest is leathery.
She's like 60.
She's got two little kids.
Alright.
So, I suspect something is up.
I suspect the deal is, because Satan never gives you what you ask for exactly.
Like, there's a famous Scottish story where there was this piper and he said he wanted to be a great piper.
And the witch said, you want to sound good to who?
To you?
And he goes, yeah, to me.
So she made him a terrible piper that sounds good to him, but drives everyone else insane.
So there's always a trick in there.
Not only do you end up in the lake of fire for all eternity, but the thing you wish for tends to blow up in your face.
And so I see these stars suffering, and I think, you sold your soul to the devil in order to get this fame.
And he's punishing you by making you do this song again and again and again.
That's how he works.
He is an angel, ultimately, right?
And I thought, what does God think about all this?
So let's talk to him.
God, are you there, sir?
Hello, God.
Hey, buddy.
Hi, God.
Basically, in a nutshell, you nailed it.
That's what is going on here, and I don't like it at all.
It's voodoo shit.
What he does, Michael, I guess Satan, he sets up a deal where he gets your soul and you make hits.
Making hits, this is my design, okay?
Listen to me.
I make maybe like 10 guys able to be hits, make hits.
Elton John, Taylor Swift, those are real people who make hits.
You know who I did?
The dude from Rancid, Tim Armstrong.
He makes hits like nothing.
All that Lars Fredrickson stuff, that's him.
He wrote all that.
Anyway, some people don't want to do that.
They don't like that I make some people special.
They go, I want to be special.
The same thing you see with these dummies who go on reality TV.
So these guys go to Michael and they say, hey, I'll give you my soul.
And he goes, okay.
He usually kills them at 27.
That's how you know that they sold their soul.
But some people he lets live.
And Jesus, it's just so wrong.
Yeah, we were just talking about Cheryl Crowe on New Year's Eve.
Perfect example, Gavin.
Great stuff.
Yes, I saw that too.
That was New Year's Eve.
And you see the pain in her eyes, you know?
It's not fun.
It's a punishment.
That's what people don't understand.
Yes, you have the hit.
Playing a hit is very fun for a week.
But these people are forced to play it every night again.
Imagine you had to do that Cheryl Crowe song, karaoke, every fucking night of your life.
You go insane.
It's a cruel, cruel punishment.
And the thing that drives me nuts is people see this and they don't go, oh shit, that's horrible.
They go, I want to be Cheryl Crow.
Jesus Christ.
Here's another one I wanted you to see, God.
In 1981, Soft Cell had a hit, Tainted Love.
And I'm looking at Mark Almond like, that's the singer, last week.
Still doing this cover.
Look at him.
Who did this to this poor man?
Isn't that pathetic?
Look at his face.
He's got a wig on.
You know how old he is?
62.
Look at his weird De Niro Irishman arms.
I'm sorry I don't pray that way.
Can you hold your again?
Like, this is cruel.
This is like going up to a midget and going, hey, hey, do a little trick like an elf.
Say like, pretend you're Santa.
Anyway, sorry.
What do you think of that?
That song is not his, obviously.
It's a cover from the 50s.
That song is about 52 years old.
He's only 10 years older than that song.
Him and that poor song.
What a fate.
Even the Rolling Stones, they seem like a great band.
They've had tons of incredible hits, but isn't it sick and wrong for capitalism to ask them to perform?
Look at this.
Look at Keith Richards.
It's weekend at Rolling Stones's.
Check him out.
Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones took the stage at Chicago's Soldier Field last night.
The performance comes two times.
Charlie Watson.
They all look older than my dead grandmother.
Maybe they are dead.
What do you think of that, God?
Even the Rolling Stones, look at that.
You know, what Keith does with the opioids is he tries to hide the pain through the high of doing heroin.
You know, heroin is like me.
You know, you get to see me and you get to experience the joy of faith without any of the hard work.
So it's a lazy man's way out.
But I am pissed off at Satan.
I don't like this stuff with the voodoo bullshit games.
I have a system in place where people are special and if you work hard, you get a thing and some people can't have that thing because there's no talent.
Then voodoo shit face shows up and starts playing stupid games and it pisses me off, you know?
It makes me mad.
All right.
Well, thank you for coming on the show and elucidating this.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
That was right.
Elucidating.
One thing, though, that just occurred to me is there's the people who sold their soul to the devil and they have to do the song every night forever.
Then there's the ones that God, God said Elton John didn't sell his soul to the devil.
He actually deserves it.
But Elton John still has to do those songs every night.
So why do you get the same punishment if you work with Satan than if you work with God?
Well.
God, are you there?
Are you there, God?
It's me, Margaret.
No?
We'll ask him next time he comes on.
Some would argue that being a homosexual and not exactly working with God.
All right.
I said we'd get to this, and we've got enough time.
Black failure, white guilt.
So at the beginning, I talked about Satan and how if he went to the New York Times building, he could get a sack full of souls by saying, I will convert all of this hatred into white supremacy.
Yeah, Colin Kaepernick turning the assassination of Soliomani into just another example of whites killing blacks and browns.
I took a shit this morning.
Just another example of Brown being flushed away, out of sight.
I ate chocolate.
Just another example of Brown being chewed, destroyed, consumed like a product.
I mean, the irony of this kind of mentality is it's a curse for blacks.
Where you're just everything is racism, racism, racism.
White people are so racist, they created a switch on the wall that eliminates all the darkness.
I've heard that before, dude.
Yeah.
I've heard like, I think it was Chuck D or someone saying, look up black in the dictionary and look up white.
And black has like darkness and blah, blah, blah, and lack of life.
And white is, I don't know, good stuff.
And you go, so that means plants are racist because plants don't live in the dark, but they live in the sun.
Kids are racist for being scared of the dark.
Fucking Ivanka Trump's dog was racist because she's white.
But what's the picture I sent you?
That's a good one.
Is that the, I sent you in the pictures yesterday.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
And it was a woman saying, I hope we got the right one, that it's extremely complicated.
So what was it, a machete attack in Mosley, New York?
The situation in New York, and let's be clear, we don't know who perpetrated the Monzi attack yet.
So she saw it was a black guy and she went, okay, it's not positive.
Could still be a MAGA guy.
Is massively complicated.
That gets asterisks and a growing division among two communities.
What we need right now is a way to find solidarity with each other against our shared enemy of white supremacy.
So a black man who hates Jews and doesn't like that Jews are in a black neighborhood, that's all, this isn't random, these attacks.
There's sort of two things going on simultaneously, okay?
Black kids in Williamsburg, Brooklyn see Hasidim as less than human.
I've heard that's the way Hasidim see Goyem.
And that's why they can use prostitutes because it's just like a blow-up doll.
It's not a real person.
It's a Goyam.
So these kids don't have parents.
They're reckless.
They're out of control in South Williamsburg.
And you're getting into Bushwick.
And they don't go to school.
And so they see these people.
They know they're not going to fight back, the Hasidim.
So they go up and they sucker punch them in the face and they throw their fur hats away and they kick them and they yell at them.
That's totally random.
I wouldn't even call it anti-Semitic.
They'd do the same if it was Amish or albinos.
It's just like, what should you call it?
It's just predatory.
It's xenophobia, but it's just predatory behavior.
It's just terrible kids being assholes.
What's going on in Crown Heights is different.
And I'm not justifying any of this, obviously.
But what's going on in Crown Heights is Jews, Orthodox Jews, Hasidic Jews, are looking in the real estate section of the paper and going, holy shit, 500 bucks?
A building for sale for 700 grand in New York City?
What?
So they're buying it up because it makes sense on paper.
But you get what you pay for when you move into a crack neighborhood.
And so there's animosity there and danger and drugs and violence.
And the blacks there see this as a form of gentrification.
So when they like when David Duke is anti-Semitic, he has all this background behind it.
And not that it's justified, of course, But he talks about the media and Israel and stuff.
I mean, he's been obsessed with it for decades.
You're not getting that with the anti-Semitism in Crown Heights in Brooklyn.
It's more just there's new people here, they seem weird, fuck them.
They're not us, they're ruining our neighborhood.
And because it's a dangerous shithole, the repercussions for that involve murder.
That's in their vocabulary.
But you won't see that in the media.
Anyway, this is driving the left nuts because it's not even close to their narrative.
It's relatively complicated, what I just said.
That's a sheep one, massively complicated.
But they're just so determined.
I always imagine a Zamboni.
You're on a Zamboni on the road and it's going this way and you just go, no, and this massive machine is just going and it's kind of going against the side of the hockey rink as you're like, no, I don't want to go left.
What's number 32?
I've collected a bunch of this of people saying, no, it's not what Gavin just said.
It's Nazis.
That's what's going on in Crown Heights.
Yeah, Andy No.
I can't get enough of Andy No.
He's become my cup of Joe.
I'm going to call him Andy Cup of Joe.
Or Andy, yes.
Because every time I'm feeling blue, I just go to his Twitter feed and I go, oh, we're winning.
So look at these quotes from this woman who's verified.
Anti-Semitism in the United States historically is a white Christian problem.
Really?
Well, white Christians, she's black, of course.
I think she's a black, she's in STEM.
Anti-Semitism in a predominantly white Christian country is going to predominantly be a white Christian thing.
I'm sure anti-Semitism in Japan is predominantly a Japanese problem.
We're the majority of the population.
Anyway, and if any black people have developed anti-Semitic views, it is under the influence of white Gentiles.
We saw this with that woman painter who said the Indian kids pissing and yelling the N-word at black girls were, did she use the word?
Like channeling white racism.
But keep going.
There's a bunch from her.
My people are not culpable.
It's really easy and lazy to blame the Nation of Islam for how black Gentiles sometimes respond to Jews.
And it is classic white fragility for white Jews to focus on the NOL, oh, Nation of Islam, like their views on Jews are unique.
What?
Wow, that's...
Her defense of that is, lots of people feel that way, like David Duke.
So focus on Duke.
Okay?
Any white Jews feeling like dealing with this?
I am literally bored and exhausted responding to white Jewish fragility.
This is after a massacre.
After a slew of massacres.
Go back.
Complete with a commitment to not reading carefully or taking the time to carefully think about something that challenges them.
So when you see black people committing anti-Semitic crimes, you have to just take some time and really use your brain and turn the Zamboni into the wall.
And it'll go through the wall and you'll go out into a giant paradise of Klansmen.
Black Klansmen.
Here's the last one here.
I have a note for black folks on this, too.
Combating white supremacy must involve unpacking.
God, I fucking hate that word.
Why you think someone's Jewishness is the meaningful signifier of why they did something.
Do you mean their whiteness?
Say whiteness then.
Don't be bamboozled by white.
These blacks in Crown Heights are yelling, fuck you, Jew.
Did you see that woman on the train?
I don't think I have that in the notes.
But she was screaming at some Jewish guy in Crown Heights.
See if you can find that.
It's hard because the way I would type it is like black Brooklyn woman, anti-Semitic rant, Crown Heights, subway.
But no news source is going to call her black.
Oh, there you go.
Privacy warning.
to watch here.
This is...
So according to that academic we just saw, the blackademic, they're just directing this at white people.
It's got nothing to do.
It's just a coincidence that they're Jews.
Well, this guy's clearly Jewish.
He's got the yarmulke on the belt with the strings.
Let's see if she's just ranting about white people and doesn't even notice that he's Jewish.
You sure as f ⁇ you do?
Because your people went through the Holocaust!
Where are you guys?
You said I'm being racist, so you tell me what I'm being racist towards.
Because you're Jewish, and I said if a Jewish family got on here, somebody would have got up.
That is not a racist statement.
That is a factual statement.
And you need to learn the difference between race.
Judaism is not a race.
It is a religion.
Judaism is a religion.
No, I need to give them enough of that.
And she's right.
I don't know about the Jewish family, but Judaism is not a race.
I'm going to teach you a lesson on this fucking train today.
I'm a person, you're a person.
No, no, we're different.
I'm a person, your person.
She says, no, no, we are different.
You're not a person.
No, that's racist.
Stand that.
No, we are different.
You know why?
Because your people treat my people different in our community.
No, that's not true.
What the f ⁇ are you talking about?
She's racist.
You treat us differently.
A lot of agreement there on that subject.
I got to say, I'm not.
She's not alone.
I don't want to sound like I'm condoning any of this fucking violence.
I'm just saying that it's got fuck all to do with white supremacy.
It's got to do with bigotry, xenophobia, anti-Semitism fostered by the likes of the New York Times, and a fear of gentrification, fear of change.
Okay, but the biggest picture, bigger picture here I'm talking about is black failure, white guilt.
And I thought this is a perfect example.
My two least favorite people in the world, maybe, or two people who really fucking piss me off every time I see him this.
Paul F. Tompkins, his Twitter feed is infuriating.
He was, of course, not happy with Ricky Gervais.
Oh, I'd never seen this before.
Yeah, the blacks and Jews, right?
So this on Milo show.
I was online here 35 years.
I have never seen a Jewish person get robbed in this neighborhood.
But there are kind of incidents between blacks and Jews, right?
There are some issues.
It ain't really issues.
It's like favoritism.
They get treated better.
You need to treat them better.
Yes, they do.
If I'm arguing with a Jew, the cops are going to come to me.
They're not going to bother them.
They're going to think.
You know, they're supposed to be sold the chosen ones, but they be in the welfare office, in the Section 8 office.
They're the first one to get any kind of bargain deal on anything.
They're the first one to get any kind of discount.
They know the system very well.
A lot of times they have all this money coming in the household, but somehow they always figure out a way to manage getting Section 8 or public assets.
Whatever services is available.
You group someone for arguing about the scam system better.
They're the first one to utilize it.
Actually, they're part of the mind control system that they use through television and the media.
That right there is in a book called The Elders of the Protocols of Zion.
That was in like 1898.
They was talking about how the Jews will use TV and media and propaganda to just push the world to take over the world.
This is not anti-Semitism.
It's just they hate white people.
Okay.
You're citing the Protocols of Zion.
Who wrote that book?
I'm trying.
It was a Russian who wrote that book, too.
Whoever's watching this, Elders or the Protocol of Zion, read it.
It gives you an idea of the blueprint to take over the world.
It is.
He's implementing it right now.
Guarantee he hasn't read it.
It's actually when you're in the world.
There's another nigga that wrote this book, Mein Kampf, that you should check out.
He looked like Charlie Chaplin.
He was a mean motherfucker.
Oh, he knows who the little tramp is, though?
What?
He knows who Charlie Chaplin is, though.
Okay, that's enough.
Let's look at Andy Richter.
Pauloff Tom's the worst.
Andy Richter, he just sabotaged his marriage.
His kids are fatherless, and he won't shut up about the importance of families and children at the border.
And then lots of pictures of his dog.
All these dads who get divorced, they only see their kids every second weekend and every Wednesday.
And when you see your kids on a Wednesday, especially like upper middle class people that are celebrities, their kids have ballet and fucking dance and basketball practice.
So the Wednesday, you're lucky if you get a quick meal with them before bed.
So you see your kids every two weeks.
You're not a father anymore.
You're just a cool uncle.
And so you focus on your dogs.
Anyway, that's Andy Richter in a nutshell.
But 3-4, he called Family Matriarch dead because some moron fired his fucking gun up into the air to celebrate.
Now, the woman, Philippa Ashford, 61, was a nurse at a crisis psychiatric unit in a Meninger clinic for over 15 years on Year's Eve.
was in her Houston cul-de-sac watching fireworks when she said, I think I've been shot.
She collapsed to the ground.
Go back to the tweet.
Scroll down.
Look at the reactions.
Just another responsible gun owner exercising his 2A rights.
Black failure, white guild.
This is all white people's fault.
Keep going.
I saw there were one.
Keep going.
So we're all stupid.
Coldplay is getting in on it.
I wish...
It had a picture of a white redneck with a cowboy hat on.
It was a picture.
And a gun.
And it said, America.
And they're all talking about how stupid.
Oh, keep going.
It might be soon.
There it is.
There it is.
So that's the takeaway.
Old lady dies because some asshole redneck motherfucking stupid racist piece of shit, white asshole, shot his gun up into the sky.
But now click on the link.
Oh, look at the, yeah.
No, the action.
Yeah.
So you go, oh, she's black, huh?
Her cul-de-sac, huh?
This was typical thuggish black behavior where they shoot their guns into the sky on New Year's Eve.
This is not a white thing.
It's a black thing.
Check out 3-3.
We can see how common this is.
And anyone who knows culture and knows that we're not all the same and doesn't instantly go to white supremacy every time they hear something bad hears that a woman, a black woman got hit in the top of the head with a bullet and they go, a black guy shot her by accident.
Not America.
Bla-America.
We outside with a ma.
We outside with a black.
Hey, skate.
Hey, let that shit go.
Hey, let that shit go.
Take me in the D picture.
Stop the video.
My damn girl.
Yeah, nigga.
Happy New Year, nigga.
You just killed him last night.
Happy motherfucking New Year.
And...
Oh, it's Snapchat.
I don't know anything about Snapchat.
He comes with a map.
You could look at the map, yeah.
Are you on Snapchat?
Yep, I rarely, rarely use it.
Shit.
Should you guys shoot dirt?
That's barely at an angle.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I was just thinking.
You could just shoot it in the fucking air.
They're actually trying to shoot the building.
Yeah, the trajectory of that was like...
top of the building.
It's supposed to.
Woo!
You fucking tool.
Merka.
Fucking rednecks.
This goes on for another five minutes.
We'll probably find the bullet that killed her.
Yeah.
Or are they all St. Louis?
That would be a hell of a trip.
Jesus.
Anyway, you get the idea.
And now Asians are jumping on board and saying, Yeah, I hate white people too.
Asians, this is 3.5, you're more privileged than us.
You make way more money than white people do.
And everything you can say about white privilege applies to Asians more.
Oh, you don't know what it's like.
Well, I'm a black man.
When I get on the elevator, everyone grabs their purse.
When a white man gets on the elevator, no one grabs their purse.
Yeah, when an Asian man gets on the elevator, even less than no one grabs their purse.
I think their median income is like 80K.
Did it not show up?
Nope.
Oh, it died?
Oh, it was some Asian chick saying we need to focus on white supremacy.
What's her name?
Ishikawasachi?
Yeah.
Ichikawasachi.
What?
You're blocked?
Wait, what the f- How did you get blocked?
How did I get blocked?
That's weird.
Wait, what?
Huh.
I don't...
Oh, but that she'd have no way of knowing that.
No, she wouldn't.
Maybe I accidentally liked it?
That's a trip.
Yeah.
Why don't she do that to me?
Anyway, she had a bunch of bullshit about how we need to focus and stop fighting amongst ourselves and focus on the real problem, white supremacy.
And that reminded me of 36.
I meant to show this yesterday.
But whites can't wait to jump aboard this train of blaming everything on white supremacy.
And the beauty of the troll, it's okay to be white, is you get to see white people fucking get pissed off and say, fuck you.
You're not oppressed.
I didn't say I'm oppressed.
I said it's okay.
It's not bad to be me.
That's bad.
It's such an easy trick.
It's such an obvious trap.
It's like when we had the Sharia March in New York and duped Antifa into having a protest in defense of Sharia, which goes against 100% of their ethos.
But have you got that?
She also blocked me on the censored TV.
Yeah, I'm just confused.
The Japanese feminist.
Weird.
There's no way I'm on her radar, right?
Go to 3.6.
3.6.
And we never talked about her on the show.
That's bizarre.
Yes.
This is awesome.
It's so good, I can't tell if it's real or not.
Turn it up.
I just woke up to hashtag it's okay to be white trending on Twitter.
Clearly.
Just pause.
So you wake up and you put a winter hat on in your house?
Who are you, Ryan?
Hey, it's more of a Tim Pool joke.
People are back at it again.
And I apologize for my people.
Apologize!
Because somehow the oppressors are pretending to be the oppressed.
Like they have a chance in hell of ever experiencing oppression because they're white.
And then you criticize, not even white people, but you criticize the system.
You criticize systematic racism.
And you criticize all of these power struggles.
Part of the American landscape for centuries.
And for some reason, the white people take offense to that.
If you take offense to that, maybe, just maybe, you like the fact that you have the power and you have the ability to be the oppressor, which only makes you part of the issue.
So if you are offended by the fact that people criticize systematic racism, maybe you like it and maybe you like the power and that makes you a shitty person.
So yes, it's okay to be white.
It's okay to be anything.
That's all the stickers.
What's okay to be is to be part of the fucking problem.
Do better.
Be better.
Do better.
Oof.
Anyway, we'll end it with Terry Gilliam.
A voice of reason.
An upside to all this.
Terry Gilliam, I'm tired of white men being blamed for everything wrong with the world.
After two decades of trying, the director and former Monty Python member has finally managed to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixoto.
Jesus Christ, there's been movies made about trying to make that movie.
But he'd rather talk to Alexandra Pollard about me too, the trials of being a white man, and why he's decided to become a black lesbian in transition.
Look at, first of all, that subhead is really annoying.
It's way too long.
And why is there the disdain with the white man?
And then when he ends with a black lesbian in transition, surely he's making you aware of his satirical nature, Alexandra?
Every time the subject comes up, everyone's humor gene just fucking disappears.
And they don't get jokes.
Anyway, in this article, he says, in the age of me too, he's talking about his movie.
Here's a girl who takes responsibility for her state, says Gilliam.
Whatever happened in this character's life, she's not accusing anybody.
We're living in a time where there's always somebody responsible for your failures, and I don't like this.
again.
Super sentence.
Let's call that these super sentences.
Okay?
Yes.
We're living in a time where there's always somebody responsible for your failures, and I don't like this.
Exactly.
And I don't like the way it treats blacks.
When you tell blacks that whites are responsible for all their problems and living in a racist society, you're crippling them.
When you give a man facility, you give him liberty.
When you tell a man that the world's out to get him, you strip him of his liberty and he becomes a slave to that mentality.
The left has brought back slavery by taking away blacks' facility.
I want people to take responsibility and not just constantly point a finger at someone else saying, you've ruined my life.
Brilliant.
Love it.
You know what we should do tomorrow is go through all of Harvey Weinstein's charges.
There's about 100 women accusing him.
There's a new one, too.
A lot of them are like inappropriate behavior.
This clown world has me so upside down, I'm catching myself defending Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein.
And also explaining the motives of the black anti-Semitic attacks.
I hope I didn't come across as defending them because I'm obviously not.
But when people say it's white supremacy, I have to explain how it's not.
All right, we're out of time.
But I want to end this with 4-3.
It's a British junkie, I believe, who got caught trying to break into a man's house.
And I have something very important to say about beating the shit out of a thief.
So that's the good guy.
And wham.
Unfortunately, we don't get a good shot of it.
Go back, go back.
It must have been the left of the century.
Look at that.
And then he kicks him in the head.
This thief needs to get into boxing.
How did that not knock you unconscious?
He's semi-unconscious there.
Throws him down the stairs.
He's still not unconscious.
Okay, pause.
Now say you knock someone unconscious.
I've been knocked unconscious in the ring.
It's 45 minutes out of your life.
Your brain hurts.
You feel weird.
You forget who your kids are.
And then you slowly get all your faculties back.
That's not much of a punishment.
At this point, in the beating, he should have stood over him and just nailed him in the ribs 15 times as hard as he can.
Whack-a-doodle, whack-a-doodle, whack-a-wack a whack.
And that would enable the thief for maybe the next six weeks to every time he got up, laughing, sneezing, getting out of cars, getting out of bed, those would all be a living hell for him.
Pushing when he takes a shit, that would kill him.
So break all his ribs.
Then flip him over and then break all the other ribs.
If someone's robbing your house and you're trying to deliver a beating.
I'm not condoning violence, but if you are to do violence, do it right.