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Jan. 6, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:06:11
S02E107 - GOLDEN GLOBES MASSACRE [2020-01-06 - S02E107 - GOLDEN GLOBES MASSACRE]
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Time Text
The problem with choosing this song is you can't really turn it off.
It's really good.
And it's got the breakdowns.
Two.
Turn it up.
Make it alright.
That's a great thing about a subscription site is you can play these songs and not get banned.
What a fucking drummer go on.
Yeah.
And if you've promised you love so completely And you said you would always be true.
Fast forward to the tweet!
That part's awesome, too.
There's a mandolin.
It's the right form to play this song.
It's too special.
is it a mandolin Oh, that's insane.
Yeah, go back, go back.
Now go back a little bit more.
Hey!
That's ridiculous.
And then it sort of topples back into the riff after the boom box is broke.
I saw that button broke, yes.
Why wouldn't you fix it?
I tried.
I don't know if there's anything to catch onto in there.
What's with their audio?
It sounds kind of ghosty, echoey.
Hello, hello.
Maybe it's coming back on the speaker?
It is.
Yeah, what's that about?
Is that going to affect the recording?
Do it again?
Now you're just pushing random buttons?
Okay, it's not doing it anymore, but now I'm worried it's not recording.
No, it is.
Okay.
Yeah, we went skiing over the holidays, Ryan and I and the family.
Holy fuck, was that expensive?
Remember I said it was $421?
Yeah.
It was $2,421.
Three adults, two kids, because Johnny's free, for four days.
$2,421.
Alrighty then.
Wow.
So that's like $120 per person every fucking day.
Including the day that it was raining and we didn't go.
So you got to just go down there every morning at 8 and buy that day's tickets.
Or you're going to get screwed.
You didn't get a deal because you got the passes?
I thought I did.
No, I did not.
Wow.
Zero deals.
Anyway.
Food was cheap at the lodge.
It was gross, too.
They're doing this weird thing now where they seem to have these foreigners coming in.
It's probably free labor in exchange for, I don't fucking know, some student exchange.
So everyone said like, Jose Huartes, Chile, or Peru.
It wasn't poor countries like Guatemala.
It was Chile and Peru and Brazil and Argentina.
Argentinas.
And then they, at the bar at the top, remember they had that one, were you there?
I don't think you were there that day.
Ryan had to leave early.
But they had some dude working just alone at the bar.
Okimo, what are you doing?
Are you trying to save some money?
I think Sam and Diane were the previous owners, and they were these ski bums who quit their jobs and triple mortgage their home to build it, and they made it into what it is today.
And then a massive chain bought it that owns all of those ski hills in the Northeast, and they just changed it into a scam.
But so I'm waiting in line, and I heard that song, and I was just standing there going, what a cham this is.
It's from In Through the Outdoor.
No other hits on that album.
It didn't really do well, but everyone loves that song, Fool in the Rain, it's called.
I love playing on the jukebox at a bar.
Everyone stops talking when you do that.
But apparently, John Paul Jones and Robert Plant were inspired by the 1978 FIFA World Cup.
Hence the So I was skiing with my little kid most of the time, so I didn't get to go bananas.
And I'm on this testosterone drug, clomophil, I think it's called.
It's for infertile women.
Helps them make eggs, but it also makes men make testosterone.
So I'm getting kind of pumped.
I've had a bit of a temper.
Last night, my son wouldn't eat, and he'd ruined my youngest one.
He'd ruined like the fucking 15th dinner in a row with his bullshit whining and refusing to eat and sitting over there.
Like he won't sit.
He wants to sit at the head of the table.
He's six.
No.
And my wife made this roast beef pot fucking luck.
Not potluck, but what do you call when it's in a thing all day?
Oh.
Pot roast, but it was like pressure cookred all day.
And it's finally there.
Potatoes.
I've been sick for a couple days, so I hadn't eaten in a while and I was ready to fucking pig out.
And then crock pot.
Crock pot.
He won't eat any of it at all.
He won't even try it.
And last night we went to a fucking burrito where he said he didn't want it.
And then I made him try it.
And he goes, holy shit, that was fucking good, dad.
And he'd never had like fried cheese, like hot cheese on a burrito before.
And he goes, oh my God.
He had two.
So I go, remember yesterday?
And then he refused to eat.
He's doing this dumb trick where he goes, I'm eating it.
And then he drops it on his sweater like I'm blind.
What are you, pen and tell her?
I can see the meat falling down.
I can hear the dog eating it.
I'm not retarded.
Imagine how dumb you'd have to be to go, okay, he's eating it.
Some of it fell, though.
So that's cracking up the kids.
But I'm getting mad and I just go, I go have a bite.
And I stand up and I cut some and I go put it in your mouth.
And he's doing that thing to you.
The tongue's in the way and it kind of falls out.
And I'm going, eat it.
Eat it.
And he's going, what?
And it's falling all over the place.
And my poor wife is like, why do I bother?
Why do I bother cooking?
Which is bad for me because now I can't have good food.
So I'm pissed off.
So I go, I go, I give him about four warnings.
Like, dad's going to pop a cork.
I'm getting real mad.
And once I get mad, I can't get unmad.
And he just refused.
And I go, God damn it.
And I threw the fork down on my little salad dish and smashed it.
Nice, nice.
This glamophile is turning me into the Hulk.
The plate broke.
And it wasn't a big fork.
It was a normal fork.
So then I just stormed up to my room like a little bitch.
We're supposed to smash things.
Yeah, my wife and I differ on that.
She's like, I don't want yelling in the house.
And I go, nor do I. Right.
But there's a few times like ruining 15 meals in a row.
Time to yell.
Your friend on the ski trip, too, he was talking about smashing a candle.
And it's like, that's what I'm talking about.
Were you inspired by that?
No.
Oh.
Yeah, he smashed something big, though.
Like a candle.
Was it glass?
Big candle.
Glass.
Yeah, he smashed something glass.
Dude, when I was a kid, our house looked like Swiss cheese.
One time I was in my room, and my dad's foot entered the room.
That's right, yeah.
Because his parents had just died, and he was having a fight with my mom about it.
And I just saw a foot go, hello.
But he was so cheat.
But who are you?
We didn't have Mexicans in Canada, so he would just do it himself.
And if you have a hole this big, it is the hardest drywall there is.
You gotta like, well, hopefully you have the pieces, but if you don't, you have to use mesh and like cut out a piece.
And I don't know how the Mexicans do it.
They always make it perfect.
But my dad, there'd just be this sort of like undulating fatness sticking out of various parts of the wall.
Anyway, so that was fun.
So I'm all pumped.
And I've mentioned this before on the show, but there's a song by the Desperacidos called Mañana, which you should look up.
And Johnny went home early one day.
Not that early.
You don't get to ski by yourself when you're a dad.
You're not going to let your youngest kid go screening into a tree.
So you're just basically like, the whole time.
And then I finally got to go to the top of the mountain and hit the black diamonds.
I've been skiing since I was a little kid in the 70s, so I'm a ninja.
And I was like, I want to fucking let loose.
And so I'm finally alone.
I get to the top of Okimo Mountain, which is very, very high.
And if you go to the left, it's all black diamonds and blue squares, and it's really fucking fast.
And I go into the lodge.
It's like three o'clock.
They're closing in an hour.
I do a shot of bullet.
And I'm fucking pumped.
And I got my mitts on, my hat and everything, my goggles.
And I want to time this perfectly.
And this song starts out, there's no intro.
So I have to like, with my glove ready, just hit play, get the glove on, hit the slopes.
And then I did it to this song.
First of all, let me just pause.
My fantasy for this song is that the band, I made a video in my head I can watch.
The band is just playing, the guitarist and the bass are facing the drums, so they don't really know what's going on.
The singer is kind of cool and hot.
And there's this chubby schlub guy who's a real fan of the song and the music and the scene.
He wears a brown t-shirt.
He looks like that kid Ian from Japanther.
Anyway, he pushes through the crowd.
And at the very beginning of the song, the singer goes, one, two, three.
And then he jumps up and goes, what out?
And he pushes the singer out of the way.
And he gets the security grabs him and they throw him away.
And he's fighting with security.
But then other people in the crowd start fighting the security guys.
And he starts getting loose from them and coming back.
And then he shoves the singer down and he's grabbing the mic and singing.
The singer's like, what the fuck is going on?
As this guy sings this song and he's like, we will cover the earth.
And then he puts the mic out to the audience who's like, like Aaron Water.
And the singer's trying to grab the mic and he keeps fighting him.
And he's covered in blood because everyone's beating the shit out of him, security guards and everything.
And he keeps going and going.
Anyway, so I got that pumped video in my head and I'm just fucking going way faster than I can handle, 100 miles an hour, just screaming, and there's something like it would get on to a blue square and there's people skiing normal.
Dude, I was whipping past them like I was shot out of a cannon, like just down!
They would just see like white smoke.
And then I wanted to go like this, but you can't really do that without looking like a fucking lunatic.
So I just pretended I was doing big pushes with the ski pole.
So I was going down the hill at, I'm going to say, 40 miles an hour.
But anyway, listen to this song.
It's the perfect freaking oot song.
Wait, you got to turn it up.
You missed the 12313.
I heard it through the thing, but I think the speaker's too low.
Oh, okay.
This is one of the greatest songs ever made.
The singer's been shoved aside.
He's fighting with security.
Get this asshole off the stage.
"Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos." "Mañana" it's called, "Desperacitos."
and catching air Oh, fuck.
By the time I got to the bottom of the hill, I was like, didn't fall?
No.
Nice.
Never falls.
It's true.
That's why I wear jeans and a baseball hat and smoke a cigarette.
And often don't even use my mittens.
Mittens?
I don't use my mittens.
I had a funny idea when we were gone.
We, I mean, yeah, we do a CGI version of us.
So when we go away, we can just call in the show and then the audio will be played and the audio will match the lips.
So it can just be like, hi, welcome back.
I'm not CGI.
I'm Gavin McInnes here live in New York City, ready to rock.
But like it looks like the dire straits I want my MTV.
I don't think any CGI looks good.
That's true yet.
Like even Star Wars, Carrie Fisher or whatever.
All right, let's get going.
They always have this fucking De Niro and the Irishman with his plate on his head.
There was an Indian tribe called the Plateheads.
And when their kids were born, they would put these discs on their heads like that.
That actually looks like De Niro and the Irishman.
That is, this is a clip from it.
Holy fuck, did you hear Ricky Gervais say, talk about the great people in front of him?
And he goes, look, and there's baby Yoda.
Oh, sorry, that's Joe Becci.
Oh, shit.
That's hilarious.
We should, yeah, we should get to that.
Golden Globes.
You know, somebody with free software did a better job at age generation.
Let me see.
Free software.
Of De Niro?
Yeah.
The young thing, the most annoying thing about the young thing is we know what Robert De Niro looks like when he's young.
We saw Mean Streets.
He's like 80% knows.
But then you just make this new De Niro with no wrinkles.
There's baby Yoda.
There's baby Yoda.
So Netflix on the left, and on the right-hand side is just a kid.
Yeah.
I was talking to General Patton.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
The timing change.
Yeah.
Did you get it fixed?
I fixed it the next day, yeah.
Oh, boy.
That's hilarious.
And notice they take away that weird, goofy blue eye shit.
Oh, fuck, that ruined the movie for me.
Just like it ruined that Bugsy Malone Whitey Bulger thing.
By the way, Master Clipper, if you're watching, I've had enough with this, the 25-minute shit.
If you want to steal from this show, you got to keep it under seven minutes or we're going to shut you down.
You're losing me money now by playing entire 25-minute segments.
What if he goes on a 20-minute rant?
Then you don't get it.
You're not allowed to have that.
Understood?
So we're on the same page, zero to seven minutes now?
Zero minutes.
You can put up zero minute clips.
Yeah, okay, so let's get to the Golden Globes because it was so beautiful.
Last night, Ricky Gervais ruined Hollywood.
And I think the Hollywood foreign press, they think a good way to promote foreign film is to just denigrate American Hollywood, which I'm all for.
Please do.
And these people, they're attracted to this profession because of the greats, because of Marlon Brando and Greta Garbo and the Humphrey Bogart, the sort of mystery of it all.
And they were movie stars who lived in the hills and we didn't know about them.
Now we see them take a shit and get divorced.
And Twitter has been amazing at demystifying Hollywood.
We read their shit and go, holy fuck, you're retarded.
Like, you don't know anything.
So Ricky Gervais furthered that by getting out there and slaying them.
It should be listed as a massacre.
But it's funny how it changes your whole perspective, too.
Like, they come out now and I think a lot of America just sees them as a bunch of clowns.
Or I should be more specific.
Sees them for the clowns that they are.
And their outfits helped perpetuate this truth.
If you go to the first, oh, I forgot to number these, sorry.
The outfits did not slay girl, the first of the golden globes.
Okay, now there's this homo.
Should gays be included in a good outfit?
You know what I mean?
That looks like that camp festival that they had.
Yeah, this is a, like, it's a different genre.
The Golden Globes is about, oh, tuxedos, and then the woman has a Louis Vuitton dress or something.
But now some queer shows up with a fucking feather boa.
I don't know what that is, a wedding raincoat?
That's very nice.
And I'm sure in the genre of the gays, you're like slaying it.
But I don't know.
I guess I got to be more open-minded.
Because once we opened this Pandora's Homo box, now what about, like, remember that Australian movie Priscilla, Queen of the Desert?
Like, what if someone comes with a giant Brazilian...
What if someone wears that?
They look good.
It's impressive when you have that big shit coming out of your head.
Yeah.
What if someone wears that?
Like, do they look great?
Okay.
What if someone now is a punk rocker?
Like, it's now a costume show.
When there's no parameters, it's just Halloween.
Right, right.
But anyway, let me see the next one.
Then this chick just shows her tits off.
Right.
Like, that makes me horny, but I'm not sure I should be horny at an awards ceremony.
Can you zoom in on her cans?
Look at her knee.
Her knee looks like a vagina that just gave birth.
Let me see that knee.
Yeah, that's not something you want to show off, lady.
Looks like a boil.
Looks like something that needs to be lanced.
Looks like a charcoal drawing of a lion's face.
It's too smudged.
It looks like those shitty NYPD blotter photos where they say, have you seen this man?
And you're like, no, no one has.
This isn't a good enough photo.
Let's go up and see her non-boobs.
You just look like a crazy rich slut.
Yeah.
Yeah, that should be at some sort of like 50 Shades of Grey party.
And how are you supposed to talk to her?
How are you supposed to not look at that?
my eyes are up here.
I know I decorated my naked tits with diamonds, but my eyes are up here.
Next, well, I'm not looking, so no problem.
Mission accomplished.
Oh, and then there was this tit fest.
Look at that.
That's right.
Her and Tiffany Hadish made fun of their accents, which is racist.
People were pissed off that they had to play Sambo in order to be noticed.
Yeah, no one's ever noticed Salma Hayek.
And then Tiffany Hadish is in every movie in the world, including a movie where she runs Hell's Kitchen.
What?
What else do we got?
And then Jennifer Lopez dressed up as a Christmas ornament present for Derek Jeter.
What the fuck is that?
Am I supposed to pull on that bow when you get home?
And then what, you're just your 50-year-old tits are flopping out on top of the rest of your dress?
That was idiotic.
So you got tangled up in a Macy's Day parade float.
Yeah, that would be okay.
Then this was normal.
Boy, that look.
He must just be looking in the mirror going, you did it.
You did it.
Remember those Scarlett Johansen nudes that got leaked?
Opine Anthony said, from now on history will be defined as before Scarlett Johansson's nudes are leaked and after.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're commemorating, it was the 10th anniversary of Nyla.
This is my favorite one.
She's got a weird wool bikini.
A shit-colored wool bikini with a bizarre 70s neglige on top.
I could see the negligee being attractive if it was the mid-70s and you're on your honeymoon and she's got just panties on and no shirt.
It would be a cool way to see tits.
Hey, Gwyneth, your dress reminds me of a cool way to see tits in the 70s, back when they were more conical.
And then she has her necklace underneath this mosquito net.
What the fuck is that?
I've never seen that before.
Not that you should be saying anything about fashion.
What's with your look, by the way, now?
Oh, I'm going for a like hype beast guy who hangs out with black people.
Does your camera not work?
So you're going like for a Rob Drydeck's friend thing?
We'll be right back.
And then the bumper.
Huh.
So like a YouTuber guy.
YouTuber wigger.
Hype Beast Wigger YouTuber.
Are you allowed to say Wigger?
Is that racist?
I can say whatever I'd like.
Oh.
And I'm just kidding.
I think it's racist.
Okay, next.
Oh, that's cute.
I don't mind that.
She's aging well, too, Taylor Swift.
You don't say.
I saw this clip from her in Cats, and as she's singing, they're so overemployed in these movies.
It lost $70 million from her.
Wow.
As she's singing, her ears are like, I want to know what's happening to you.
Like they have little expressions.
That probably cost another three weeks.
Yeah, right?
That doesn't just happen.
At one point, Ricky Gervais goes, I think Joker was up for like four awards.
And he goes, see what happens when you don't dress up people as cats?
Oh, my.
Wow, that's embarrassing.
That's great.
Yeah, those moved around.
How are we doing for time?
When did we start?
Well, don't say the exact time we started.
We're only 22 minutes in?
Yeah.
Oh, good.
All right, let's look at some more outfits then.
Can we go see Cats?
Yeah, well, I was trying to summon the courage to get stoned in SeaCats.
That's tough.
I'm going to be invited to Veterans Day if I do that.
You'll probably have to make a speech.
I'll do a speech next to the guys who, the four guys left from Pearl Harbor.
It's everybody in wheelchairs and then you.
I just want to clarify, I was never at Pearl Harbor, but I did see Kat Stone.
So we're in a similar boat.
You might notice I don't have a cast wheelchair or crutch.
You might notice I'm the only hot guy here.
I can't laugh at that.
That's one of my favorite Army jokes.
Every time they show the remaining guys from Pearl Harbor, none of them are hot.
That's what's her name.
She looked bizarre with her.
Nicole Kidman.
Nicole Kidman looked bizarre with her makeup.
I don't mind her outfit.
His shoes look funny.
Look like little Lego boots.
Yeah.
Nice fucking wispy hair, Goo Goo doll.
Keith Urban.
Leonardo DiCaprio.
There was a good joke Ricky Gervais said when he said, I watched The Irishman.
It was so long that by the end, Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend was too young, too old for him.
I wrecked it.
That's good.
I noticed there's a thing, too, squinty eyes.
You'll be happy to hear this.
Every hunk last night had squinty eyes.
He looks like Michael.
DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Daniel Craig.
You gotta have squinty eyes to be a hunk in 2020.
I'm gonna start smoking just so I always have smoke in my eyes and I become squinty guy.
Yeah, there's some squinty guy.
It's gorgeous.
The thing they're doing is like the classic tuxedo thing.
Boring.
I just watched a great video on that where this guy's judging tuxedos.
What are those, like pants?
Big floppy pants?
Yeah, very 70s.
Okay.
60s.
Oh, what the fuck?
Oh, look at that weird button on her chest.
I don't know what that is.
Who is that?
Shalene Woodley?
You know, you're getting old when you don't recognize any of the people except Brad Pitt and LDC.
That's the most unflattering thing I've ever seen.
She looks like a puzzle.
Like you go to someone's house and they go, I'm just going to get ready.
And on their coffee table, they have some little puzzles you have to figure out.
And it's like a screw in a thing and you have to get the screw out without breaking the thing.
And you're like, oh, maybe if you twist it.
Like a Brookstone puzzle.
Yeah.
Are we done with the outfits?
Jennifer's getting old.
Sorry, I wet your bed.
Everyone like this chick.
I don't know what the hell.
She was in Jumanji.
I saw Jumanji.
She worships the ground she walks on.
She's just like a sassy Asian from Queens.
I think she or the Bronx or whatever.
She raps.
That's her background.
She's originally a rapper.
And then she got into cinema.
And this is her first trip to the Golden Globes, and she won an award.
Why does everyone love her?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's because she's a badass bitch.
She doesn't take any shit.
She's a feminist.
And she made me feel bad when I was watching Jumanji, and then she became one of the characters.
I was like, I don't want to look at her for the rest of the movie.
You know, Michelle, what's her name?
Fields?
She got up there and she said, I want to talk.
And it's funny because Ricky Gerais gets up there and he goes, just take your award and fuck off.
Don't preach.
And then she gets up and she talks about a woman's choice.
Find a rap video from Aquafina.
She gets up there and she talks about a woman's choice.
And she says, deciding when I wanted to have my children, like sperm just shoots up from the ground up your skirt from these sperm geysers.
And she doesn't wear panties.
Being able to choose when I had my kids enabled me to have this career.
Of Sally Fields.
No, no.
Was it not Sally Fields?
Keith Ledger's ex, Michelle Williams.
Here, let's watch it for a second.
It's called My Vadge.
Oh, it's a Mickey Avalon rip-off.
My Vadge.
Yo, my Vadge, make it girl panty cream.
Yo, Vadge bread, appetite, and bee.
And my veg, a chrome rape.
Yo, Vadge hatchback 81 for Yola.
So she's like a Huffington Post joke blogger who pulls Swifters out of people's vaginas.
Yo, my veg, feel like winning the lottery.
Yo, shit got turned down for me hard.
You know the original song, right?
Yeah.
What is it again?
My Dick by Mickey Avalon.
I opened up for him, by the way.
You did?
My bad, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Anyway, Michelle Williams gets up and she says that abortion is awesome because you can choose when to have kids.
So I'd like to thank my dead babies for making me a movie star.
I do have kids, but I chose.
So I just let guys jizz in me and then I kill the ones that are going to hurt my career.
That's not the pitch for abortion.
The pitch is I'm poor, I live on the streets or I'm 17.
And if I have this baby, my life will be over and I can't afford it and it will starve and I'll starve.
I get that argument.
So I'm going to abort it with a coat hanger and then everyone's going to die.
Okay, that's a good argument, by the way.
But like, eh, I have two kids.
I didn't want a third kid now.
I want a third kid later.
I think Amber Tamblin, David Cross's wife, I think she had an abortion like a week before she was married because it wasn't convenient.
I guess she didn't want to look fat at the wedding.
Then she had a kid like a year later.
So you have abortions.
You murder babies based on a few months of inconvenience?
Yeah.
Like you're not poor.
She's got money.
And here's what drove me nuts about this stupid fucking speech.
Your husband died of an opioid overdose.
We're up to over 200 people a day dying from these.
Your children don't have a father because of opioids.
And your takeaway is we need more abortion.
What?
I guess if you aborted the kids that you have, they wouldn't be fatherless.
That's one way to look at it.
How negligent of her not to mention the opioid epidemic that killed her husband and the father of her children and just talked about the convenience of abortion, like it's birth control.
She literally was talking about abortion as birth control.
Go back to her speech.
Did they show any of that?
Everyone's clapping to you.
You go, girl.
Thank you so much.
When it is time to vote, please do so in your own self- Thank God or whomever you pray to that we live in a country founded on the principle that I am free to live by my faith and you are free to live by yours.
Free to kill babies without employing a woman's right to choose men have we have the right to choose opioids.
Why is she crying already?
I don't know.
Nothing happens.
You know what?
Half of the pro-choice debate is sluts who feel guilty about their abortions.
And they go, I don't want to feel bad that I got drunk and let some dude jizz in me and then just forgot about it.
Didn't take the morning after pill and had an abortion.
And I feel, I innately, naturally, Darwinianly feel gross.
I feel like a murderer.
So when a celebrity goes, you're not a murderer, it's like, maybe I'll do it again.
To choose when to have my children and with whom, when I felt supported and able to balance our lives, knowing as all mothers know, that the scales must and will tip towards our children.
Now, I know my choices might look different than yours, but thank God or whomever you pray to that we live in a country founded on the principle that I am She's a retard.
See, this is what was so great about Ricky Gervais's speech, his intro.
He said, let's cut this shit.
These people are retards.
They're losers.
Now, we have some clips from here.
He called out Apple.
He said, you guys say you're woke, yet you work for Apple, who has sweatshop.
I'm Jennifer Anison's there.
She's sort of the face of Apple TV.
She's launching it.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
She is it.
She's McDonald's.
Ronald McDonald to McDonald's is Jennifer Anison to Apple TV.
And right in front of her, he says this.
Well, you say you're woke, but the companies you work for, I mean, unbelievable.
Apple, Amazon, Disney.
If ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent, wouldn't you?
So, if you do win an award tonight, don't use it as a platform to make a political speech, right?
You're in no position to lecture the public about anything.
You know nothing about the real world.
Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.
So, if you win, right, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God.
I...
You could see people pissed off in the audience.
You could also see people on Twitter like, you know that comedian I hate who used to be on Mr. Show.
He always wears suits.
Oh, yes.
Paul F. Tompkins.
Paul Tompkins.
He was noticing that and he goes, ooh, no tie drinking a beer, irreverent.
Like all of Hollywood, all of California is predicated on the myth that these people are special.
When you say the emperor has no clothes, the whole industry collapses.
Yeah, their whole raison debt fails.
It seemed like a big old joke.
Because it is.
Kill me.
We're nearly done.
Jesus.
This is the Harvey Weinstein man.
It's already.
Right.
Last one, last one.
Come on, boys.
Our next presenter starred in Netflix's Bird Box, a movie where people survive by acting like they don't see a thing.
Sort of like working for Harvey Weinstein.
You did it.
I didn't.
You did it.
I'm starting to feel sympathy for Harvey Weinstein.
Yeah, I felt it from the beget-go.
Like, there was the Lawrence Savon one where he was jerking off, and he had blocked the exit to this kitchen downstairs.
So she couldn't get past him as he sat there.
Then he beat off into a plant.
That's sexual assault.
But why didn't she call the cops like one second later?
She's a friend of mine, so I feel bad saying this.
But that's the worst it got.
As far as Gwyneth Paltrow?
I blew him and got, and that's the only way I could get that job.
You know, who else does that?
Everybody in Hollywood.
Like, I worked in advertising.
It was replete with homosexuals.
And if I had done a sexual favor for them, we would have made a lot more money.
Sorry, I'm not a high-paid gay prostitute.
So I didn't do it.
And the way they always posed in pictures with him after they knew what was going on.
So is Harvey really the perpetrator?
Or is he just a guy who took advantage of a disgusting sex club called Hollywood?
Yeah.
We've heard the term the casting couch.
Maybe he's just the first one to get called out.
Yeah.
He pissed off somebody, probably, right?
Great thing.
And they were like, you know what?
We're not going to defend you no more.
I think they had the full power to defend him through the whole thing.
All right, last Ricky clip.
Epstein didn't kill himself.
Well, you say you're woke, but the companies you work for, I mean, unbelievable.
That's a repeat.
Is that the one I sent?
Under Epstein Didn't Kill Himself?
Let me check, let me check, let me check.
Pressure's on.
Well, you say you're woke, but the company is a good idea.
Maybe it's a longer one.
I mean, most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.
So, if you win, right?
Come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God, and hold up.
I got you.
I got you.
You got me?
I'm nervous now.
This is not good TV.
This doesn't happen on Tucker Carlson tonight.
A fart happened, though.
He's mad about Iran.
We'll get to that.
I ain't mad.
You hear about his fart?
I don't believe it.
I don't know if I believe it either.
His show isn't live.
Right, so why would he do that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
When you hear farts on this show, they're real.
Ugh.
Are they going to put it in?
Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about that.
The Hollywood foreign press are all very, very racist.
If you do win an award tonight.
Okay?
Huffington Post blows.
I hate those.
And they have failed me.
Anyway, he said Epstein didn't kill himself.
Yeah.
It was a good joke.
I forget the setup, but everyone went on.
And then he goes, don't blame me.
He's your friend.
And then they show the audience.
You can see Tom Hanks sort of going really uncomfortable.
Season two is on the way, so in the end, he obviously didn't kill himself.
Just like Jeffrey Epstein.
Shut up.
I know he's your friend, but I don't care.
Can you find, I don't have this.
Oh, look at her.
See, I love it.
And then they laugh to say, it's not me, it's someone else.
Shut up.
I know he's your friend.
Shut up.
S-H-U-D.
Shut up.
Look, I love her.
Like, she worked so hard to get to Hollywood.
She finally made it.
She's finally a celebrity.
She's finally a movie star.
And then someone says, this is all bullshit.
She's like, that's not what my entire life has been about.
That's not why I was in drama club in ninth grade.
That's not why I sucked 100 dicks to get here.
For you to cheapen it by saying it's a waste of time.
Do you have the Rob Corden one?
That was one of my faves.
I don't think it's in the notes.
Rob Corden is a big pussy.
It's not in the notes.
Rob Corden is America's dad.
He is a family man.
He's got kids.
He's happily married.
And he does fun stuff like car karaoke.
James Cordeno.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, James Corden.
Why do I have Rob Corden here?
I hope I wasn't calling him.
Okay.
He's in cars with celebrities, Paul McCartney, Michelle Obama, Mariah Carey.
I mean, he is the cleanest, sweetest part of American culture today.
And he's a depraved pervert.
One of the jokes, I guess we can't find it, one of the jokes that Ricky Girais said, I think it was my favorite joke of the night.
He said, we got to see James Corden as a big pussy.
He was also in cats.
And when he said that, I thought, it's amazing how few people know that James Corden is a sex comedian.
Did you know that?
A what?
He's a sex comedian.
Well, like, he does, like, sex.
He does jokes in.
He's a sex comic.
He's on sex sitcoms and does jokes about anal penetration and double dongs and being attacked by a dominatrix.
I thought it was just like squeaky, clean.
No.
He's a sex comedian.
I'll show you.
I'll show you.
Hey, this isn't a family show, but we do avoid porn.
We do avoid things getting too raunchy.
But sometimes the news involves pornography.
And I would be remiss if I didn't tell you James Corden's biggest secret.
The family man show guy, the car karaoke dude, everyone's favorite chubby British man, is actually a sex comedian.
That's right.
James Corden is a sex comedian.
He was on a sexual sitcom in the early aughts to about, I think, 08.
It was called Gavin and Stacey.
And this sitcom portrayed a lot of disgusting sexual behavior that James Corden was at the center of.
I know that's shocking to you because you see him as a sort of whitewashed, lily clean.
Is that a term?
Lily clean?
Super clean family guy.
But he's closer to the cartoon family guy when you look at his disgusting pornographic past.
Here are some clips I'd like to show you.
So just pause.
That's Gavin and Stacey in the foreground.
They're the protagonists of the show.
And James Corden is with a very libidinous and dominant woman named Nessie.
Nessa, sorry, who is a Welsh pervert that has her way with James in this not atypical episode.
I don't want you to think that.
They're deciding whether to go back to the hotel or not.
Nessa, that's it.
And I have a word.
You got any Johnny's?
Johnny's or condies.
I ain't going in there, bareback.
What for?
Well, we might have to, um, get some.
Don't worry, I got a stash.
Ripped.
Jackie!
James Corden is a sex comedian.
They're back at the hotel now where the disgusting fornication begins.
This is the guy in the car with Michelle Obama singing songs as he has his phallus grabbed by a Welsh slut.
A dominating Welsh slut.
I would call her a Dominatrix, actually.
Yeah, he's about to be sodomized in the bathroom by a Dominatrix.
I don't give a shit.
I mean, it sounds like Ricky Gervais's big pussy comment was actually a compliment.
Okay.
Okay.
As a mate, we're going the ensuite.
Yeah?
Nessa?
Alright.
But only for the first one.
I hope you're hungry, big boy.
James Corden is a sex comedian.
Here he interrupts his friend's, I was going to say capitulation.
Consummation?
What do you call it when you have sex with someone on your wedding night?
Dang it.
Listen.
Copulation.
It's a consummation.
Oh!
Did you hear that?
He's saying, ow, ow, ow.
Oh my God.
He accidentally flushes the toilet and it's so intense in there that it interrupts Gavin and Stacey.
And by the way, Gavin and Stacey are also fornicating wildly in this sex sitcom starring James Corden, who is a sex comedian.
Couch leaves in half an hour.
Oh God, the guilt.
Oh, the guilt.
Now, in this scene, he's realized that he's been sodomized by a sexual pervert, a Dominatrix from Wales, and he is pretending that he regrets that.
No, mate.
Look, what's the point?
No, you don't.
I have.
Why?
You don't understand.
She did things.
Mate, she put things in.
Did Stacey, listen, did Stacey, did she?
Sniffy, I can't believe you're even asking me.
I am not discussing anything about last night with you.
I need to know whether this is something that just...
Nessa.
Nessa, whether it's something that just she does or is it a Welsh thing?
Why does it matter?
Because if it's something that everybody does, I don't need to see a doctor, do I?
Get dressed.
We're listening to anal rape jokes.
And then this abomination.
Keep going.
Oh, God.
James Corden is a sex comedian.
Transcription by CastingWords James Corden is a sex comedian.
Comedian, comedian, comedian.
Comedian, comedian.
He's a sex.
That guy, you mean the sex comedian?
I'm going to start calling people sex comedians.
The New York Post is fun today.
Epstein's news.
We see his dead body there with the ropes and everything.
They show this and say it was four feet high.
I don't know.
I think this is maybe the authorities' way of saying he wasn't murdered.
I can't figure out.
All I know is Alex Jones is right and there's some weird shit going on in America.
What I can't figure out is who's in control and what their motives are.
Like it's clear that elites paid for Jeffrey Epstein to be killed.
Why is the prison giving these pictures to 60 minutes and showing his final note, which is wrote that one guard kept me in a locked shower for an hour.
Noel, the guard, sent me burnt food, giants, bugs crawling over my hands.
No fun.
That's not a suicide note.
That's someone complaining about shitty treatment.
Where'd they get the giant bugs?
What is this, Papillon?
So I don't understand why the prison is trying to cover this up.
Maybe they're embarrassed.
Maybe they're scared of getting sued.
But we all know something fishy is going on.
And speaking of something fishy, what's going on with the Rants?
So Tucker's really pissed off that Trump bombed someone because he's a paleo-conservative and he's an isolationist, isolationist, and so am I. But I'm willing to let this one go.
My wife and I had a fight about it.
She's like, you Trump people.
You let him get away with murder.
He could literally murder someone on 54th Street.
And I go, honey, we need to show some force.
I don't want our boys going in there.
I don't want another Vietnam.
And if that happens, I'll be pissed off, obviously.
But he's already done this.
Remember Syria?
So Obama drew a line in the sand and he said, if you use chemical weapons again, you're dead.
And so they used them again.
And he went, oh, poof, boo.
Another time.
And you're really dead.
I'm going to let this one slide.
Actually, here's a pallet of cash.
No, that was Iran.
Daddy gave it pallet of cash too.
But Trump said the same thing.
Don't use chemical weapons.
Syria, they appeared to be using chemical weapons.
And it doesn't really matter if they were or not.
The point is the global perception was they were.
And everyone looked to America for strength.
And what did he do?
He blew it up.
Mother of all bombs.
Do I have that in the notes?
It's a Syria.
The bombing of Syria?
Shoot.
I don't think I have it.
Oh, yeah.
Like the plane he blew up.
Sorry, I forgot to number these.
It's been a while.
It's been 17 days we've been in here.
17 days of banked shows.
We're going to be a little rusty.
I'm sorry.
I forgot to number my links.
Yeah, remember this?
59 Tomahawk missiles blew up a plane.
I don't even, I think he may have told the airport in advance, hey, I'm going to be blowing up some shit.
You probably want to get out of there.
So we just had a show, and it showed the world that my line in the sand is an actual line in the sand.
It's not Obama's line in the sand.
Similarly, Obama had Benghazi, where the U.S. Embassy was attacked.
What did we do?
I talked to Terry Shepherd.
I talked to guys in the military.
They said they were sitting there dying.
We have troops stationed in southern Italy.
We could have been down there in seconds.
Nope.
Hillary said no.
What, surname Lamb?
Charlene Lamb?
No, don't worry about it.
We'll be fine.
So we showed the world that we're pussies.
You can attack our embassy.
They attack our embassy in Iran, and Trump blows them up.
He blows them up good.
I thought this was funny too.
Some of the reactions.
Of course, the left is freaking out, but the right is taking it in stride.
Scott Greer pulled up an old post where it said Iran wants us to worry about white supremacy.
That should be our first priority.
They murder gays.
Women are second-class citizens.
They live in a totalitarian regime with zero human rights.
And they tell us we have to worry about white supremacy.
And Scott Greer goes, never mind.
Iran is canceled.
Conversely, we have Rose McGowan, who would like to formally apologize.
Rose McGowan never had a career.
She was in like what?
Charmed.
Charmed.
A show no one watched.
My ex did, but yeah.
Charmed?
It was painful to watch.
It was like a witch show for little girls.
It was a babysitter show.
It was very bad.
It didn't have an impact on CGI.
The CGI sucked.
It just all sucked.
So what's...
I did.
Yeah.
We only had one TV.
I don't know.
I just like, I would smoke and then do my own thing, but I'd get into it sometimes.
So you were a Charmed fan.
No, no.
No, I just now thought of it, like how much of that show I've watched.
What are their names?
Paige.
Paige is one of them.
That's my least favorite one because she's like a resting bitch face.
Paige.
Favorite one.
She's a total bitch.
I don't remember.
Ryan doesn't like Paige.
She's awful.
Press play on that video.
What is it?
Just a flapping flag?
Yeah.
With emojis on it?
Yeah, a lion emoji and a sun emoji.
What the fuck does that mean?
I don't know.
What the fuck does that mean?
Isn't that a backwards flag, too?
Isn't that the Mexican flag?
Dear Iran, the USA has disrespected your country, your flag, your people.
52% of us humbly apologize.
We want peace with your nation.
We are being held hostage by a terrorist regime.
Jaw-dropping.
We do not know how to escape.
Please do not kill us, Soliamani.
Hell of a funeral, though.
Did you see the funeral?
Holy Toledo.
It was millions and millions of people.
It was like five miles of road just full of people like ants.
Sounds like a great target.
JK.
That's terrible.
What did the New York Post say?
Oh, yeah, they flew his body back in coach.
That's in my links.
No way.
Yeah, it looks like it's in a Tupperware container, just like on seat 32C.
Not even a window seat.
It's in one of those shitty middle aisle seats.
There we go.
Oh, my God.
There he is.
At least there's a flag on it.
It's in a suitcase?
I wish we had a better look at that container.
Yeah, that is not a carry-on item.
So anyway, here's something I want to bring up.
Here's my scoop.
I know you don't come to me for news, but occasionally I discover something no one else did.
So the post the other day Said he blew up, and you can tell it's his body because of the ring.
I sent you this as a separate pic.
And so you see the picture, you see him with the ring going blah, blah, blah.
Right.
So I see that ruby ring.
Rubies are fucking cheap.
Stupid tacky rings.
That's on his left hand, right?
And then the hand we see.
Is that a left hand?
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
So you go, ruby ring on hand, ruby ring on ground.
That's his body.
Got it.
The rings aren't even close to the same.
Oh, yeah.
We're so lazy that whoever is scamming us doesn't have to try.
But I sent you this as separate pictures.
When you look at the rings next to each other, you realize they're drastically different.
Well, that one has spikes.
Can you show both of those at the same time?
Look, one of them has spikes that go up and hold the ruby in.
The other is totally flat.
And this is maybe not the best picture, but the base of the ring, the thing that connects the ring part to the crown that holds it, on one of them, it has these sort of vertical lines that point down.
And the other one, the lines are horizontal.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
That's not the same fucking ring.
It's not even close.
Hmm.
So what does this mean?
Does this mean that that's not his body?
Does this mean someone put a ruby ring on another dead body and hoped we wouldn't notice it's not the same ring?
Is he known for rings?
Having two the same ring, similar rings, maybe?
I don't know.
All I know is Syria looked a hell of a lot like a show.
And as far as political moves go, I think killing this Solio Manny was a show.
And a show sure seems to link to that's not his ring and it's not his body.
But you lose me after that.
It's like the prison sending stuff to 60 Minutes.
Now, I could make up stories, but I don't fucking know.
I'm lost.
Why fake kill him?
Was it a deal with Iran?
You can't trust Iran.
This was the funeral.
Was it his body double?
Maybe we killed his body double, and that's why they're having a funeral for him.
But he's safe.
And we're so stupid, we just see the ring.
Is he cracking up?
No.
Yes.
See, that's another indication something fishy is going on.
There's people laughing at the funeral.
Look at him.
All right.
We should talk about it.
This is the tough part of the show, Ryan.
Oh, we can't hear you at all.
Where I like to correspond with the people who write us.
You know, I don't like the word fans.
The audience out there.
And see, kind of get a vibe for what they want.
Get a vibe for them.
You know, what's going on with them.
Jesus, the amount of mail we get is like 100 a day.
Oh, this is the mailbag.
Yes, it is.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
By the way, I've heard we're down in subscribers.
Really?
We were at 13.2.
We went up to a peak of 15.5.
And now we're down to 14,000.
Now, apparently that's normal because people...
Subscribers, yep.
Oh.
People go, I can't afford this anymore.
It's normal to have these ups and downs.
See that at compound media all the time.
But I hope this ain't a pattern.
Don't worry, folks.
You got two new shows, Loomered and Jonathan Miranda.
We also have a new show coming with Copper Cab.
Oh.
Copper Cab's coming.
And a fourth surprise, which I'll wait till the deal is inked before I tell you about.
That's going to be a big one.
That last one could equal the content that I give you with Get Off My Lawn.
Now, if you're only here for Get Off My Lawn, no one's depriving you Get Off My Lawn.
Just imagine you're eating a meal and someone puts 70 other plates in front of you.
You can ignore them if you want.
They'll get eaten.
All right, you ready?
I'm starting with Thomas Moore.
Oops, I just said his name.
I'd like to make a formal complaint.
My complaint is that you introduced me to Mr. Jerry Cinnamon.
The Bonnie has taken over my life.
Well, that's not true.
Sometimes I listen to sometimes, 90 times in a row.
But other than that, nah.
I share your affliction.
Me too.
I am fucking so addicted to that guy that I have to stay away from it.
I was actually, I had a fever and I was bad tripping and I started to hear the Bonnie and sometimes in my head on a loop.
Like when I was a kid, I loved eggnog and I chugged a whole carton of it and now I can't look at eggnog.
I ruined eggnog for myself.
And I'm worried I'm ruining Jerry Cinnamon for myself.
This sounds like the entire ski trip.
We played it once.
Yeah, we banned it after a while.
I didn't listen to it skiing once.
I didn't.
No, I didn't.
In my head, I didn't.
Sometimes.
When life is a short time and no one knows when you go when you die, believe and build your body.
Build a bonfire back and hide.
With flames so, what does it say?
Beg they can touch the sky.
It was a fire so bright that the flames lit up the sky.
Holy shit, that was the worst.
You do imitations?
It sounded like you're getting a colonoscopy.
No, you told me not to ever do a Scottish.
You spilled up the sky.
You told me not to ever do a Scottish, so I had to do it a different, totally different way.
Sounded like Boris Karloff.
All right, this is from Brody.
Salutations, G-Dog, your boy from Texas again.
Yo, what's up?
Hello.
You attempted to smooch me at Milo's show when you were shit canned.
Some of these I should probably read before.
I'm not sure they should be read live.
Maybe before we put this up, we could take out that part.
Well, damn.
Obviously, you're joking.
I'm not a sex comedian.
Yeah.
When is censored TV going to be available on smart TV?
My wife and I are ready.
Keep up the good work.
What does that mean?
My wife and I are ready.
I'm not a boomer.
Technically, I'm Generation X, but I'm pretty boomy when it comes to technology.
What's smart TV?
Like Apple TV, Roku, you know, something like that.
Is that on Roku?
The Google Chromes?
I'll find out.
Ben, this is from Ben.
So, Colin Kaepernick said something about how we are killing all brown people overseas.
Oh, yeah, he said that about this Iranian dude.
He said, this is just yet another example of us killing black and brown people.
Fucking guy was abandoned, left on the street by black people.
White people picked him up, raised him, helped him get an NFL scholarship, and sorry, scholarships, and then into the NFL.
And his first take on everything is fucking white people, man.
I want to do a whole thing tomorrow on black failure, white guilt, because it's amazing how determined everyone is to crowbar everything into white racism, including all these black people attacking Jews in New York.
They learned it from watching us.
Because you know how we like to stab people, stab Jews.
I made a comment saying, you were right, let's kill the whites.
Now I am deplatformed as well.
I thought it was funny, but they don't know sarcasm.
See, that's the problem with all this censorship is you start killing jokes.
Ryan just farted at anyone right now.
No, I did not.
I moved my chair.
Here, this one, last letter here, this is from Paul.
Dear Mr. McInnes, I'd like to interview you on my new U.S. podcast, The Politics People.
Dale Beaumont.
Gavin, you're a funny guy.
Edit that one out to you.
What?
Should I edit that one out too?
No.
I was joking about editing the previous thing out.
Oh, okay.
What?
What do you mean?
What do you think I'm gay?
No, no, no, no, no, no, the full name before.
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
I mean, I don't like to get into a habit, but this guy in the thing said he was a janitor.
I don't think they're going to try to get him fired for sending a letter to a show.
That's the world we're living in.
You know, Max Hare's girlfriend is getting harassed by Antifa and her parents and the place where she, like the nail salon she works at.
This is just a girl who was dating Max on and off before he went to prison.
You know what we should do tomorrow is put up a big thing of how to write to Max and John.
Because when you're in prison, getting a letter is like Christmas.
No matter how boring it is.
Hey, man.
I was just thinking the other day, this is a letter I wrote to Tommy Robinson.
It's weird how you go to a fair and they have the best fries in the world, right?
Those hand-cut fries.
Then you go to a fancy steakhouse and they have shitty frozen fries.
They like that kind of shit.
Just like, it's better than nothing.
It'd be fun to hang out and shoot the shit, whatever.
Going down memory lane, making fun of stupid people is a great sport, but after a few months, it really gets old.
There are serious things happening in the world and there is a war on truth.
We have one perverted ass to escape into.
Stern, I don't need another.
What?
No, I'm not saying you should turn into a serious news site, but lately you are unfocused and it seems you were just mailing it in.
Please develop some sort of structure to your shows.
Your free speech, easy shows are epic.
Okay, Milo is gay.
Can we just move on?
He's turning into the Will and Grace show.
Milo is brilliant, but he's all over the place.
Perhaps I'm in the wrong place, but I have been a fan since 11 TV days.
Ooh, what was that last year?
Something has changed.
I like you better than a friend, and I want you to succeed and be bigger than the blaze.
I just need a little more focus.
This is when you tell me to get fucked.
That is, if you got that far.
I don't know.
I thought this show was pretty focused.
And I'm getting sick of politics.
I mean, I'll talk about Iran.
I'll talk about whatever's in the front few pages of the post.
But I like talking about the Golden Globes and stupid shit.
Me too.
And yeah, if making fun of my friends in the past, I don't really recall doing that, but a lot of these shows you saw for the past 17 days were pre-taped.
And we recorded like three a day for a week.
Yeah, I guess they sucked.
Thanks a lot, jerk.
All right, we're out of time.
Now, I want to end with this final video.
When I'm at the gym, as I was this morning, by the way, you can work out, you can do 15 rounds on heavy bag, double-ended bag, all that stuff.
Headhunter is the new bag we have at the gym.
It's like a little water bag that's at head height.
And you get a pretty good workout.
It's not even in the same universe as sparring.
Sparring is, it's like jerking off compared to sex.
And if you just sparred for three rounds a day, I would argue you are a better boxer and in better shape than someone who works out for an hour and a half a day as I do.
But anyway, while I'm boxing sometimes, if I'm getting bored towards the end, I'll sort of hit the heavy bag like boom and then just stand there.
And I thought, how come I've never seen that in boxing ever?
Because every knockout punch they do, they go boom, and then they're poised and ready.
But what if you were so confident that this was going to be a knockout punch that you just went and fucking boom and then just turned around and walked away?
Wouldn't that be awesome?
No, not in wrestling, in real boxing.
Just a guy who delivered to the last punch and then didn't even come back.
Was just like, fucking, that's how it goes.
And just walked away, like in the movies, when they blow up a thing and they walk away.
Anyway, I found what I was looking for.
It's not in the boxing gym.
It's in a cafeteria where the guy is so confident that this is going to be beautiful, a knockout backhanded slap, that he licks his finger first just to sort of moisturize it and then delivers it and walks away.
This is the most perfect backhand.
No, the most perfect chop.
No, what is it?
The most perfect physical assault I've ever seen.
You kind of have to see that 600 times.
*Pffft*
Let's break his back.
Look at the way he walks, too.
This is going to be a winner.
He walks like Dr. Gonzo in fear and loathing.
Slap and whack.
Look at his other little hand, too.
The guy's dead.
And whoop-ba-da.
The fall really is gratifying, huh?
Like, you're so short.
Excuse me, I got this.
Wow.
Look at his other hand.
Let me see his other hand.
It kind of like just flips up.
Right there.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't notice that before.
Just in case he needs another one.
You know what that's from?
That's got to be the Ric Flair.
The Ric Flair chop?
Woo!
Oh, shit, he's doing a Ric Flair chop.
That's awesome.
Yep.
Not that I condone adults watching wrestling.
Of course not.
Sam Roberts.
Sam Roberts here.
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