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Nov. 22, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:13:34
GOML LIVE #22 | CALL THE POLICE

After laughing at the audacity of Jussie Smollet and students who can’t bear the thought of Ann Coulter saying words, we focus on a video of some college republican who blurts out “call the police” when a fat girl waves some paper at him. We really need better adrenaline control, guys. We also briefly go over the week’s highlights and take a TON of calls.

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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin.
What are you doing?
What happened there, failure, McInnes?
Um... You're like me, but a failure.
I don't know why you do it so quick.
That doesn't matter!
I have to do... This is my new problem with millennials!
Here, watch what I do.
I'm gonna take the cam.
I'll do the intro.
I'll tech the whole intro.
This is my new problem with millennials.
They cannot take criticism, and that means they cannot take in new information.
So you'll say, hey, you're doing that wrong, and they'll go, I actually know a lot of people do it this way.
And you'll go, all right.
I'll go, you were what, like five seconds off on the stop of the music, and you go, yeah, well, you pushed it too fast.
You did?
Yeah, that's it.
I pushed it too fast.
It's not your fault.
I said give it a second right before we went live.
No, you mumbled something.
I couldn't even hear you.
You never press it that quick.
I don't know.
I press it that quick all the time.
Not true.
I press it that quick when it's your music because it sucks.
That is true.
Oh, okay.
And I press it when it's that our theme song that everyone's heard a million times and it's not relevant to the show.
But this is the thing.
I had a buddy a long time ago, Derek Beckles, and we were talking about Bob Geldof from the Boomtown Rats, you know?
That was so good that I wouldn't be surprised if YouTube doxxed us a copyright from the Boomtown Rats, because the computers assumed that was the song.
Hey computers, that was me singing.
Oh, but nobody's gonna go to school today.
He's gonna make her stay at home, little girl.
Sweet sixteen.
Whoa, I can do an incredible- That's my new karaoke jam.
I Don't Like Mondays.
Do you know that song?
I was gonna look it up, but we cannot play it, huh?
Do you know- You don't know that song, though?
Mmm, not off- You know what?
No.
Big hit.
Big hit.
If I didn't know it by you singing it, I don't think I would know it by playing it.
I don't like Mondays, I wanna shoo.
That's, uh, it was a song about a mass school shooting.
Sheesh.
Believe it or not, they have been happening since before this year.
This was back in the 80s.
And when they asked her why she did it, she just went, I don't like Mondays.
Pretty, if you're, pretty stylish way to end a school shooting.
Um, anyway, I was saying, why, uh, Why does he have so much money?
The Boomtown Rats really just had that as their one hit.
And that, I heard from Sting, a big hit like Every Breath You Take, lands you about $700,000 a year.
So he's making $700,000.
He seems like he's doing better than that, though.
And my buddy goes, oh, it's because he's a sir.
You know, like Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, all the sirs, they get money from the monarchy.
I thought, hmm, that doesn't sound right.
But let's look it up.
I'm curious.
So we look it up and it turns out that Bob Geldof got involved in sort of reality TV and new media way back in the 80s, early 90s.
So he pioneered basically the MTV real world type crap.
That's why he has money.
And then my buddy goes, uh, no, I, I still think that, uh, that it's cause he's a sir.
And I go, we just looked it up.
We just discovered the answer here, right now, live.
And I realized, that's why you can't get smarter.
Because you're not a sponge, you're a stone.
And when the facts hit you, they bounce off.
Ryan's the same way.
Millennials are the same way.
Like Steve at Compound.
I just texted him, and I was listening to Milo's show, and I go, I can hear the clothes rustling on the mic.
And he goes, yeah, that's because his card was hitting it, and his hand was hitting it.
There's nothing I can do about that.
Ergo, I have nothing to learn from this situation.
There's nowhere to grow.
Nowhere to go but down.
I don't agree with his, the way he ended it with, there's nothing I can do about that, but we did an extensive mic thing and he didn't... Okay, but when the show's going, you listen to it and you go...
I can hear... He doesn't want a show interrupted with stuff.
He wants to show... I'm telling you as the boss, he's getting the show interrupted with stuff.
Okay.
If there's mic noise, then the show doesn't fucking exist.
Yeah, so what he did was, he has a backup plan.
He put a room mic in there.
Yes.
Which picks up and then he switches it off.
And it sounds very good.
It sounds fine.
Yeah.
But that's not my point.
But it took a second.
My point is the attitude of this like, nah, nothing I can do about it.
Like Paul!
He goes and he shoots a thing in New York that was great.
I wish we could have used it.
He went up to people in New York City and he had to ask them about aliens.
And he said, look, I got to shoot this thing for, I forget what network he said, but it's about, there's apparently an alien sighting here and I can't find anyone who saw it.
And I'd lose my job if you don't say that you saw something.
So could you just say that you saw some, Aliens?
So he got all these people to lie.
Young Puerto Rican kids, old white dudes, tourists, people in fat, like everyone from any demographic on the entire economic spectrum all going, yeah it was crazy man, had lights on and shit.
And so I go, this is awesome, let me listen.
And it's like, and I go, Paul, this is unusable.
You couldn't even get a directional mic aimed at them or hold a microphone to them?
I got mics.
I'll give you a mic.
And he goes, no, there's nothing you can do about that, actually.
New York City.
New York City is loud.
Oh, well.
There's no such thing as a recording outside in New York.
I didn't do 10 million men on the streets for CRTV.
See, so Paul will never get better because he can't accept criticism.
Speaking of which, I highly recommend, and you gotta timestamp these, Ryan, for the sponsors.
Oh, okay.
Did I not tell you that earlier?
Yeah, yeah.
But had you forgotten?
Nope.
Okay.
JohnnyAppleCBD, you know what CBD is, right?
It's sort of like pot without the pot part.
It's everything good about hemp, marijuana, whatever, but without any high shit.
JACBD.com, so they're doing a Johnny Apple seed kind of a pun, you see?
J-A is Johnny Apple, and then CBD is the thing.
Everyone uses it at my gym for emollients.
Why don't we try some right now?
Have you got the gummies?
No, we got the pens, and then we got the tincture, which I use.
A lot.
Tincture.
I don't want to take it now if I'm gonna be tired.
No, it doesn't make you tired.
We don't have any gummies?
Mm-mm.
What, you just pop it in your mouth right now?
You gotta hold it under your tongue for about a minute.
And then what happens?
You swallow it.
Let me try it now.
Does it taste bad?
I've had the, uh, the, uh, ointment before.
And I had it to myself, I can't swallow.
You wanna hit the vape pen?
No, I don't like vape pens.
You ruin vape pens for me.
Hmm.
Almost numb to my lips, kind of.
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Let me wash down my CBD tincture.
Not a huge fan of the word tincture.
It's like the word thwart.
I saw some asshole use the word whom.
I think it was daily collar, maybe daily wire.
And the headline was, uh, Cuomo, uh, tells employers they can decide which pro-lifer, no, uh, can tell pro-lifers whom they can hire.
Let me just say something off the record here.
Whom is for assholes.
The word is dead.
Don't say the word whom anymore in any context.
There is no correct usage for whom.
It's for dishrags.
That's my other word for douchebags.
Don't try to make that racial.
It's like when people say atrocious.
Stop it, Joe Rogan.
Stop it, everyone I know.
You say that.
You know what else Ryan says?
Abominable.
Oh yeah, yeah, they played this guitar so it was abominable.
Don't use a word that isn't normal for your mouth.
It sounds like an affectation.
And the bigger picture here is, when someone says something, a criticism, anything, go, huh.
I read criticisms all day.
Some of them are valid, some of them are not.
You gotta let it go like water off a duck's back.
If it hurts your feelings, that's too bad.
But the only way you learn is to be a sponge and assume that everyone's criticism is valid.
Or else you're Ricky Gervais.
Can you find that?
In, uh, in the office when he's doing the training seminar, the UK one.
And, uh, he goes, there's been a rape.
And the guy says, what room was it in?
Room 363.
Do you remember that one?
Oh, we're using DuckDuckGo now.
It's real good.
Off of the Brave Browser.
Off the Brave Browser.
Thank you to the viewer... Just pause.
Thank you to the viewer who told us to switch from Chrome to Brave Browser by Brendan Eich.
That's his name, right?
I hope I'm not... The problem with those kind of names is you're saying some famous Nazi.
We thank you to Joseph Goebbels for that fantastic software you designed.
Goebbel.com.
Go to Goebbel.com right now for his new browser.
He's alive.
Yeah, Goebbel it.
Goblet.
Goblet.
So we tried that and you know Daily Mail is idiocracy levels of commercials.
You go to Chrome and you look at Daily Mail and it's almost like looking at something in a thunderstorm of banners.
But you go to Brave and you look at Daily Mail.
Go to Daily Mail on Brave right now.
You can show your screen.
Look how cool it is too.
It shows you how many ads it's blocked.
You and I should compete.
I'm at 350 by the way.
How many ads we can have blocked?
Yeah, yeah.
Let's do it.
So, I'm better than you.
As of right now.
You understand?
Right.
Not as far as mic control, though.
I'm at 452, dude.
That means I'm more curious than you.
And I'm on the internet more.
So, look up Daily Mail.
Okay, Daily Mail.
That was your original assignment.
There was something about... Oh, yeah.
You can import all of your stuff from Google.
So, it's really painless.
So, go to Daily Mail, please, sir.
It's a really painless switcheroo.
There, look at this.
Zero ads!
Block.
It's just a normal... It's like the storm is gone.
It's as friendly as a magazine now.
I know this is ancient news to most of you youngsters, but we've just discovered the magic.
I had the Brave thing when it came out, but I just didn't use it for whatever reason.
It takes a bit of discipline to switch browsers.
So yeah, find that Ricky Gervais thing.
We're probably not allowed to show that, but whatever.
By the way, folks!
December 10th is coming.
There is no way in Hades that this site, this YouTube page is going to survive the grand conservative purge of December 10th.
So please, steal all of my YouTube content.
Don't go to freespeech.tv and steal that content, or I'll catch ya.
Although, if it's a short clip, I don't really care.
I'm only gonna pursue anything over maybe 10 minutes.
But yeah, steal all of this YouTube content, including this.
Because our days are numbered.
The end is nigh.
I'd like to make a complaint, please.
I don't care.
Well, I am staying at the hotel.
I don't care.
It's not my shift.
Well, you're an ambassador for the hotel.
I don't care.
I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is.
I don't care!
I think there's been a rape up there!
That's not the one.
Really?
Yeah, but it's after that.
You're in the right embassy.
I got his attention.
Get their attention.
The other one, no, the one I was looking for was from that same episode where he goes, what room was it in?
And he said, the 363.
There is no 363.
Some complaints will be lies.
That should be a video clip for us.
By the way, for those of you who don't Maybe I should play the hotel manager, cos I'm used to that.
I phased you.
But you have a go.
See if you can phase me, OK?
Yeah, right.
OK.
Erm... Hello.
I wish to make a complaint.
Not interested.
My room is an absolute disgrace.
The bathroom doesn't appear to have been cleaned.
What room are you in?
362.
There is no 362 in this hotel.
Sometimes the complaints will be false.
That's not how I remember it.
Why is there previews on that?
I've been saying that quote for years, and every time I say it, I go, some complaints will be lies.
We were talking about this earlier this week, how we misremember things.
Like, for example, every time we do Tony Soprano, we go, it's a very difficult situation.
He never said that.
Nope.
He said, it's a delicate situation.
Yeah, the tone he's spouting in my head is like, his lips are crumpled into a ball.
It's a very difficult situation!
Yeah, it's cartoonish.
And then you hear him, and he goes, he has a slight squeak to his voice.
Or, in Rushmore, when that kid is painting a jellyfish, and my wife and I always say, ah!
Because Bill Murray says, what is that?
And the little kid goes, ah!
It's a jellyfish!
And then you watch it and the kid goes, it's a jellyfish.
What?
That's not what I've been doing.
Somebody on Twitter found it for us.
It's a jellyfish!
It's close.
Let me hear you say it.
It's a delicate situation.
Why don't you explain to the folks at home and maybe cut to a wide.
Wide.
The difference between Tony Soprano in your mind and Tony Soprano on TV?
Well, Tony Soprano on TV is... Yeah, me and Carmelo, we went to this thing, and, uh... Turned out it was pretty good.
But when you do it, that's not fun.
You gotta go, oh, we get, we get, we get, we... You know, to get people's attention.
You gotta ham it up.
You gotta ham it up.
Why are you showing the back of your head to the camera?
Camera?
Yeah, the camera.
Oh.
I suppose I could turn around.
Well, what about your camera, your little side camera there?
It doesn't work anymore?
It's bupkis.
Once I get it to work, you won't be talking to me anymore.
Why?
Because that's usually how it goes.
It's just... Alright, there we go.
Hello!
We should mention that we have the cheapest studio in the world because I'm a cheap ass.
I want to see what's going on with this show, this network, the first year, and I want a buffer.
I am prepared to get sued.
I'm prepared to go to court.
I'm prepared to go to jail.
We can't be starting extravagant.
If you're opening up, you want to open a chain of muffin shops, you start with one muffin cart and you sell a few muffins and you see how that goes.
Do people like my muffins?
And then you expand.
So we have it.
How much was that camera?
Your personal webcam?
$70.
How much is your idiotic hair?
Free.
Look at yourself, Ryan.
I love it.
You look like a cartoon.
You look like a Cosby kid that never made it to the cartoon.
This rules.
But you can't see.
I can see just fine.
It's like sunglasses.
It's like a one-way mirror.
No, it's nothing like sunglasses.
Sunglasses are transparent.
Hair is opaque.
I can see you're fine.
Do you know how embarrassing you look?
Oh, I don't care what you guys have to look at.
I like it.
It feels good.
It feels like rock and roll.
Rock and roll?
You feel like rock and roll right now?
American rock and roll.
Can you imagine that?
I mean, I did stupid shit like that, but I think I was about 13.
That's not what that Street Magic video said.
I didn't have hair in my eyes!
No, you had it all sorts of ways.
You looked like Egon from Ghostbusters.
Yeah, I had longer hair, but it was still not in my face, like I'm from fucking Fraggle Rock.
Anyway, it's my perog.
My perogative.
Yeah, my point is, generally folks, that you have to be curious, you have to be open-minded, and we were living in a time, an epoch, Where that is averted at all costs.
And Tucker Carlson blames social media.
And I think he's correct.
Because what do you do?
On Twitter, you block everyone who disagrees with you.
On Facebook, you do the same.
So you get more and more into this little bubble of Trump is getting impeached.
Actually, the impeachment is a good example of this phenomenon.
Everyone on the right goes, wow, that was a nothing burger.
You guys must be so embarrassed right now.
As Sebastian Maniscalco would say, aren't you embarrassed?
Conversely, the left is like, we nailed it.
That Sandaloso guy, whatever his name is, he threw Trump under the bus.
Trump's done.
Have fun in jail, pig.
You fucked yourself.
That's where we're at right now.
There's no debating back and forth.
And my site, freespeech.tv, is about the opposite.
It's about getting together, seeing what we have in common.
This weekend we got Michael Hemshermer.
Michael Shermer, the guy who founded Skeptic Magazine.
Very accomplished writer, teacher, professor, and atheist.
And then we have Dinesh D'Souza.
Basically the same, but believes in God.
You know, when I was hanging out with them, when I was mediating the debate, I couldn't help but feel like I was Rob Dreidick.
Oh, and they were big.
And they're big.
Rob Drydek wanted a black friend.
So he hired a black security guard and said, you're my best friend.
Here's some money.
And then he had a cool black friend.
And I was like, I hung out with two of the nation's top intellectuals and literally pushed myself into the middle of the picture, the video.
And they just stood there like the three top intellectuals in America, because I had paid them.
That's embarrassing.
Anyway, the real question is, and this disturbs me, I don't know if America wants the back and forth anymore.
I think they like polarization.
I remember I was with Ann Coulter at Keene's Steakhouse, and Lawrence O'Donnell was there.
And I think she knows Lawrence O'Donnell from college or something.
They go way back.
I believe he was a Harvard alumni, so I'm not sure how that works out, but anyway.
She says, you got to get me on your show.
And he goes, it doesn't pay.
The audience doesn't like it.
They want to see people they agree with.
What are you doing over there?
Listening to you.
They want to see people they agree with.
They don't like- Why are you adjusting your hair again?
It's my prerogative.
Do you know how insecure you look?
No, I'm loving it.
Can you help me out folks at home?
Show the camera your new hairdo.
After you did all that thing with the bangs, you've changed your mind.
It feels good to put it back like that.
Now my eyes are open.
Debatably.
You know what you act like?
You act like someone who did weird drugs and is in a holding cell at the local jail and doesn't really acknowledge that he's there.
And he's talking to the cops and asking them stupid questions and changing his hair.
And they're like, dude, you're in a holding cell.
Yeah, I do exist in some thick level of bliss, but I was just thinking about this, uh, walking to get food, that, uh, I used to be able to picture my thoughts, where they're going, in a train of thought, and it just, now there's just this kind of, like, wall I hit.
Like, I think it's Lyme disease.
It's got, I think it has to be.
There's a lot of cognitive issues when it comes to that, and, like... No, it's not.
No, well, I remember... It's your phone!
I remember how I was thinking before.
I know, and it's your phone!
Your phone is ruining your mind!
You don't know how often I'm on my phone.
I'm not on my phone.
You're constantly on your phone!
I know, I listen to podcasts and I play guitar.
That's on your phone!
That's on your phone!
Yeah, but not looking at the phone.
That doesn't matter!
You're constantly using your phone.
I listen to music.
And that prevents you from having your own original thoughts.
You, if you take a shit, you've got your podcast on, you have it when you're taking a shower, it's always, you're never not listening to something.
That's not good for your mind.
You need to be sitting like this.
And this is what we talked about earlier in the week, this study where they had a class called, uh,
Unplugging now or something and they told the kids they couldn't touch a phone for a week And they all they were all having panic attacks after the phones were taken away one of the kids was actually shaking and then a week later They go I feel refreshed, and then they said okay, you can have your phones back and the kids aren't It's not as addictive as heroin once you get past the initial thing you don't want it back But I think it's really bad for us, and I'm as guilty as anyone by the way I That's the worst part.
I keep yelling at my kids to get off their phones and then I'm on them.
Alright, should we get down to the news?
Yes.
Jussie Smollett has decided that he was maliciously prosecuted.
He's speaking specifically of the fine that the Chicago Police Department has given him for, I think, $120,000.
He's paid $10,000 of that and he's like, that's enough.
I'm not paying anymore.
I saw a great meme where they said, Jussie Smollett goes, I was beaten up by MAGA guys.
And then the cat, you know the cat who's sitting behind the table, goes, no you weren't.
And then Jussie Smollett goes, you weren't there!
And the cat goes, neither were you!
You know Chadwick told me that that's a big gay spot for druggies?
Where you go and you blow an old rich dude and you get some meth or something?
That's what that area is known for.
It's not known for its Subway Deli.
Is Subway even open at that time of night?
He said it was 4 a.m.
Yeah, I doubt it.
They can't do a lot of business.
I don't think he's eating fresh.
Although I guess you get drunk and you want to have a sandwich.
So, Jussie Smollett has filed a counterclaim against the city of Chicago.
Several Chicago Police Department officers and brothers Abimbola Osundaro and Olabinjo Osundaro.
God, it must be hard living in Africa saying all these names to everyone.
You know, when I was a tree planter, we received an application from an African because we'd have a lot of these job programs where they'd come from another country and just work and go back.
And one of the guy's names was Bum Bum Booba.
His first name was Bum Bum.
He's lucky he didn't come here as a kindergartner.
His life would have been living hell.
Claiming that he was the victim of a malicious prosecution that caused him humiliation, mental anguish, and extreme emotional distress.
Do you have that link up?
1-1?
Uh, but, Juicy, you lied about being- you did a hate crime hoax.
Now you get to sue people?
You sent detectives all over the city trying to find the guys who had the balaclavas and the mag hats.
It was the worst hate crime hoax in the world, and the rope you had them by.
Was a clothing line.
That's not a noose rope.
It looked like a bolo tie around your neck that you kept on the whole time.
What an absolute fucking loser.
What did you stand to gain from that, by the way?
The guy had a career.
Things were going well.
I think he was on drugs.
That's my personal theory.
That he got high and he was maybe And there was this old, white, rich man who was staying at his house.
Or maybe he was staying at that guy's house.
I'm making this all up.
This is all a theory.
And they were talking and they were doing coke or something and he said, I'm going to go get more.
And then the white guy was saying things like, you know, what you have had to go through as a gay black man, it must be so hard.
I don't even know if the white guy really believed what he was saying.
He was just trying to get in his pants.
And then Juicy was so high that he was like, I'm really enjoying this attention as the persecuted one.
And then when he went out to get the stuff, he goes, Oh wait, no, that theory doesn't work because it was premeditated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They had already got all this stuff.
He was doing what Charles Manson was trying to do.
What was that?
Kill Roland Swansky's pregnant wife?
No.
Ignite a race war.
He was trying to ignite a race war.
Yeah.
That doesn't sound very beneficial for anyone.
What I don't get about these globalists like Soros, who wants riots in the streets and to cripple the economy and burn America to the ground.
That's not good for someone with money.
I mean, you can't be an entrepreneur in Venezuela right now.
Why do you want America to become Venezuela?
I don't quite get the physics of it.
He took a lot of acid.
He took a lot of ass, more like.
I wanted to show you this clip it's going around one two and it's the head of some Chicago Republicans thing but it goes back to everything I've been saying about adrenaline control and how fighting solves everything and no I'm not advocating for violence but self-defense justified violence fighting back being a normal person like of course you don't go up to someone at McDonald's and punch them in the face but what if you're at McDonald's and some
Pregnant 17 year old girl is getting smashed in the face by her boyfriend.
What do you do?
That's really what's happening in America right now.
My old school ways, I'm an 80s guy, are you jump in, you get him off of her, you punch him in the face, you get him off, you make sure you can't hurt her anymore.
The new philosophy is call the police.
Oh the police, they'll be there.
They're magic.
Yeah, put a bat signal in the sky and say, super policeman, come here, appear here in it's going to take them five minutes.
Best case scenario.
Do you know how much damage he's going to do to a pregnant woman in five fucking minutes?
Believe me, boxing for a three minute round at my gym feels like 1 million years.
And that's with everyone playing by the rules.
So, the solution is, as far as I'm concerned, is to get involved.
If it's for the greater good, if you're protecting her, then get involved.
You should be used to conflict and you should be play fighting with your friends.
Violence shouldn't seem like this unfathomable subject.
And I know I'm on dangerous ground because two men are in prison right now for four years.
And the big gist of the trial was that I encouraged it by encouraging violence.
I'm not encouraging random violence, but I am saying the motto at my gym and every boxing gym across the country is fighting solves everything.
That came up in court too, by the way.
And it's a colloquialism.
Go look it up.
It's t-shirts.
It's everything.
It's a saying.
And what it means is stand up for yourself.
And that's logical.
Like...
Do you really think someone sits there and goes, hey, if you see a tranny in the street, just fucking go up and punch him in the face.
Or if you see like someone that's a liberal, just kick him in the head.
But people will take those clips where I say, for example, I did say choke a tranny once, but the reaction came from a video where these Antifa kids were horking in the face.
of Trump supporters big greener hanging off your mustache and then they'd go you can't hit me I'm a woman I identify as a woman don't hit a woman so the guys would just go police with phlegm hanging off their beards police like jizz police police in a huge mob the police can't even get to you dude so in that context I said choke a tranny But I clearly didn't mean, walk down the street, you see one of those fuckers, fuckin' choke him.
Choke him out!
That's... true.
It's the same as the, uh, 10 things I hate about the Jews.
It didn't occur to you that that was satire?
That, uh, a Jew named Ezra Levant flies me to Israel, I do about 15 videos, and then I go, hey Ezra, I wanna do an anti-semitic one.
And Ezra goes, yeah, they're kinda getting on my nerves too.
Do it, dude.
What?
Who flies to Israel to do anti-semitic videos?
Do the math.
But they don't do the math because they want their narrative satiated.
So anyway, this new mentality of police, police, it's just like giving our autonomy to the state and it's saying I can't handle my business.
And I, they say it to my kids too.
I said to my, this is way back when they were in public school in Brooklyn.
And I said, uh, to, to my son, my middle son, I said, what would happen if your sister was getting beaten by someone in the school?
What are you supposed to do?
And he said, Oh, we're told not to do anything, but to go and get a teacher.
And I said, uh, no, that's a lie.
If someone is beating on your sister, jump on them.
Tackle them.
Get them off of your sister.
Don't start filling out paperwork.
My sister is having her face smashed against the pavement right now.
She's definitely going to lose her teeth.
But the real question is, will there be serious permanent damage?
And obviously, will she be disfigured?
This is her brother, and I'm feeling... No!
Police!
Police don't want that too.
That's not what they signed up for.
What was that thing we were looking at the other day?
Where someone wanted the cops because they lost something?
Oh yeah!
Someone stole a MAGA hat.
At a rally.
And they go, POLICE!
POLICE!
Take your hat back.
This is why you sign up for the police force?
I want to make sure people keep their hats.
We will walk your dog.
I'm a hat cop.
Hat cop!
If you lose your pen or your hat or you can't tie your shoes, we're there for you!
Anyway, it's a tricky subject because especially when half of the country is trying to make it sound like I want random violence on the streets I don't want random violence on the streets and actually this long intro to this clip Kind of helps and this is sort of this is turning into the theme of the whole show.
It's like handle your business DIY do-it-yourself Anyway, you'll see what I mean in this clip 1.2 million views turn it way up He thinks that's brave, by the way.
Call the police.
And then he puts his hands in his pockets like, yep, I said it.
We're going to court.
Do you not have a sister in your house, by the way?
Now, obviously, I'm not saying punch her fucking out, dude.
The proper response for that is to laugh.
If some lunatic lesbian, or lug, sorry, she's a lug, lesbian until graduation, that skirt could be really cute in the right context.
Yeah, on a different human?
On a different human.
Actually, her body's fine.
Legs are a little chunky, but with like small socks and high heels and that dress and some mesh gloves.
When we say Make America Great Again, we don't mean 1842.
We mean 1982.
We mean the accelerator girls on ZZ Top videos.
We mean bobby socks, high heel shoes, mesh gloves, hairspray, mullets, wraparound sunglasses, jet skis, Reagan.
That's what we're going for.
Rock!
Rock rules.
Coke?
Yeah.
Speaking of Coke, you hear about Hunter Biden?
No.
He impregnated a woman while he was dating his dead brother's wife.
That's gotta be Coke, right?
Cocaine is a hell of a drug!
This is 2-1.
First of all, it's pretty insane to date your brother's widow.
Isn't that nuts?
Like say my whole family was dead and my brother was married and I found his wife attractive, but it would be in a very, I just do it in a very clinical way like that.
My brother's dating an attractive woman.
I would never have desires.
And then my brother dies and I'm just like making out with the mouth that used to kiss my brother.
Having sex with someone who my brother used to have sex with and then he's dead?
Maybe just sort of floating just above the bed going, uh, what the fuck are you doing?
Are you kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
What was that dolomite thing?
Bitch, are you for real?
Yeah.
Bitch, are you for real?
That is very musical.
That sounds like an African dance song.
Bitch, are you for real?
Shoot the ball!
Shoot to kill?
Yeah, anyway, Hunter Biden, sorry, go back to that.
This is the guy, by the way, the whole impeachment thing was Trump called up Ukraine and allegedly said you should look into Joe Biden.
Now, that's horrible because Joe Biden is potentially his political opponent.
So what if Joe Biden was a pedophile, which he sure looks like with his...
Mmm.
Oh, God.
Your daughter smells so good.
Ah, gross.
This microphone reeks, by the way.
Ew, really?
I just inhaled, like, 700 hours of my own spit.
That's grody.
Um, but yeah, I don't care if he's your political opponent.
If he did a crime, then investigate him.
And he did do a crime.
He admitted it on tape, on video, on TV.
He said, yeah, we were going to give, uh, Ukraine 600 million.
And I said, drop this investigation.
And then I got on a plane and when the plane landed, the investigation was dropped.
Pretty cool, huh?
What do you think dudes?
Badass or badass?
He did that.
Yeah.
Yeah, there he is.
Braggadocio.
This is exactly what they're accusing Trump of.
Don't investigate me and the fact that I did a massive, was it a uranium deal?
Some massive deal through Ukraine where my son gets, I don't know, 400 grand a month or something?
Go to the Joe part where he incriminates.
Because he has this whole thing about when the plane landed.
We're incriminating that for two years before we left.
So and the reason is, I think the more you up the ante, the cost to Russia for their aggression.
I mean, as you all know, and you know this.
Because he has this whole thing about when the plane landed six hours later.
I guess the 12th, 13th time to Kiev.
And I was supposed to announce that there was another billion dollar loan guarantee.
And I had gotten a commitment from Poroshenko and from Yatsenyuk that they would take action against the state prosecutor, and they didn't.
So they said, they were walking out to the press conference, and I said, we're not going to give you the billion dollars.
They said, you have no authority, you're not the president.
The president said, I said, call him.
I said, I'm telling you, you're not getting a billion dollars.
I said, you're not getting a billion.
I'm going to be leaving here, and I think it was, what, six hours?
I looked, I said, I'm leaving in six hours.
If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money.
Oh, son of a bitch.
They fired him.
Quid pro quo.
We know what quid pro quo means, right?
If you do this, then you get this.
If you blow me, then you'll get a promotion.
That's quid pro quo, 50% of sexual harassment cases.
In this case, quid pro quo means, I will give you the charity money if you drop the investigation.
That's him doing it right there.
And to be honest, I don't got a big problem with it.
I do in the first example where bosses are encouraging fellatio, but in the second example, yeah.
Don't give another country a billion dollars without some caveats.
Or in my case, if I was president, I'd call them gaveats.
And I would say, I will give you a billion dollars, Ukraine, if you change the days of the week to Gavin-themed names.
Like, Monday is Gav Day, Tuesday is Gav Day, Wednesday would become Gav Day, Thursday... You got where it's going.
It would be confusing, but that's literally the price you pay.
Gavtober.
If I was a toad... Well, if I was a toad, and I showed up at your lake, would you kick me out or would you let me sit on your toad couch?
I love Dinesh D'Souza, I'm not disparaging him.
Me neither.
His accent sounds exactly like perfect English.
It doesn't sound like a normal English.
It's 4% Indian.
If I were to be a toad and you were, and you were not to be a toad, he sounds like you were designing a computer and the AI generated an English that was the best English on earth.
Yeah.
Hello.
I am speaking perfect English.
Not unlike a toad.
Wait, so go back to the all lives matter guy.
I can't believe a pussy like me who has never won I've won maybe two fights while sparring but 99% of the 99% of the fights I'm in at the gym I lose people still say good when I punch them in the face they also say breathe I've never I've never fought a guy at my gym where he's had said all right I can't do it anymore all right so this is how you be a man so sorry just pause
Uh, so a pussy like me, who can barely fight, who doesn't know how to change the oil, who's never really fixed a motorcycle, I can't do many of the basics, and I'm telling you how to be a man?
That should disturb you.
That's a major problem when I'm Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino.
Because I'm not, I'm a faggot.
I'm basically Jeremy Scott.
Sorry, YouTube, I meant that in a jokey way, don't kill my account right away.
Alright, so, first of all, your sign sucks.
All Lives Matter, you just wrote that.
He's the head of the College Republicans apparently at this Chicago school.
Have some foam core in your office.
Have some, what do you call that?
Is it foam core?
Yeah.
Have that sitting around.
Have some big markers.
I'll pay for it.
I'll pay for it.
All Lives Matter, you go out there, you hold it.
Ideally it's a wood sign.
That would have been much funnier.
And you could have held it so high she can't get to it.
Again, this woman is unhinged.
So you should Use that to your advantage.
You know like jiu-jitsu?
Where someone comes at you and you roll with it?
He should use her lunacy to his advantage.
So she's mad.
His adrenaline's pumping.
But he's never experienced conflict.
Look how shocked he is.
And then this part.
What the hell?
I think this might be the first conflict he's ever experienced.
And then he thinks it's badass that he said call the police.
Meanwhile, she's freaking out because am I gonna get charged for hitting a man with a piece of paper?
He should be ashamed too, if that ever became a charge.
Like if you're a cop and you take in a perp for smoking pot, everyone at the station makes fun of you.
If you're a cop and you only ever get DUIs, they mock you at the force.
Okay, he's not so bad here.
But dude, you gotta develop a sense of humor when you're dealing with these unhinged lunatics.
Which reminds me of... Ann Coulter went to Berkeley to finally do her speech.
Young Americans for Freedom had her in 2017.
Then they booted her at the 11th hour.
I went there with her speech printed out.
It was very controversial, by the way.
It was way more right-wing than me.
It was all this...
Anti-immigration stuff, but like, close the borders?
100% no legal nothing?
No British people?
And she had me reading it.
So I read her speech in 2017, and now she's re-invited.
Young Americans for Freedom have nothing to do with it, but the way these babies behave.
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Wait, who's fighting Deontay Wilder this Saturday?
Luis Ortiz.
Luis Ortiz?
Luis Ortiz.
Is that the guy who had the sneakers bar on his Twitter page?
He was the guy who beat up that really sexy Amir Khan, whatever his name was.
I have no idea.
The British guy, he's really built, and Ortiz beat him up, and then Ortiz just has like, he's a big fat pig.
Who doesn't train that hard.
Oh.
And his Twitter page, the top banner is a Snickers bar.
Snickers wanted to endorse him, and he's like, man, I don't think so.
I don't know if that's him.
It looks like this Dominican guy.
Oh, really?
Shit, sorry.
Yeah, because that's Wilder O.T.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe don't, just look up Boxer Snickers.
Boxer Snickers.
Hi, welcome back to Boxer Snickers, where we get stoned with the top boxers in the country and try to make them laugh.
Andy Ruiz, sorry, don't come to me for sports info, folks.
Andy Ruiz was the guy who knocked out that sexy Muslim from London, I think his name's Amir Khan, and he didn't, he's a fatso.
And everyone was joking, I think I'm done working on my core.
Because you build muscles here, so when you get nailed in the ribs it doesn't go like peanut brittle and ruin your... Having your ribs cracked is hell on earth.
Every sneeze, every laugh, even getting out of bed, all of those kill.
And when you feel a sneeze coming, it's like you're in prison and someone's coming at you with a shank.
You're just going, oh no, oh no, oh no!
Achoo!
Sometimes it's like you see stars from the sneeze.
It's so fucking painful.
It's actually made me a better boxer because I'm so petrified of having to fear sneezes for I'd say 40 days.
It's 40 days.
Anyway, we're running out of time here.
So let's look at the way these fucking losers protest Ann Coulter.
A thin woman, middle-aged woman, is coming to your school to say words and that makes you apoplectic.
Now I would understand if she was like a torture trainer and she brought in an illegal alien And he was on a cart, and she was going to waterboard him to show people how to waterboard.
And this was a major problem.
They were waterboarding illegals all over the country.
I'd go, yeah, you should probably protest that.
That's not right.
That's dangerous.
She's teaching people how to torture.
But just coming up with ideas, this is how you react to ideas.
Let's hear some audio there.
Many police officers who've been keeping the protesters at bay, Ann Coulter just should be wrapping up her speech as we speak.
Aren't you embarrassed?
That you're that scared of words?
You hear that?
She's yelling, you are a racist!
You hear that?
She's yelling, "You are a racist!
You are a fucking Nazi!" Okay, so she hates racists.
So I assume she's heavily involved in the race wars in South Central where Mexican gangs are killing black people for no reason.
I assume she's heavily invested in the trouble with the Aryan Brotherhood and other white nationalist biker gangs.
She must be involved in the task force to report them, I guess?
What's that guy saying?
Wait a minute.
What?
He just said, she has a right to come here and speak, but that's as far as free speech goes.
He tries to kill immigrants?
I'm out.
Agreed.
The second she starts slitting throats, we're going to intervene.
Wait a minute.
- What? - He just said she has a right to come here and speak, but that's as far as free speech goes.
- He tries to kill immigrants?
- Yeah, agreed.
- Agreed.
- The second she starts slitting throats, we're going to intervene.
- Now she learned to step on a toad.
- I swear, if she kills any animal, even a toad.
- In the end, the speech went on, but it was deliberate.
Like, that should be the turnout for a rape.
Yeah.
If there's a child molester in prison, like the guy that judge let go after three months.
Yeah, wait, what?
At Epstein's trial, was there like a huge riot outside?
At Harvey Weinstein's trial?
What about the Muslim rape gangs?
In Britain, do they get this many people?
What's he saying?
Yeah, that's a great point, Ryan.
Pedophiles don't get this kind of turnout.
So, the modern left, especially young people, see pedophiles as less dangerous than someone with conservative views.
And again, read any of Anne's books.
She's not radical.
Everyone always says, you know what, Colter?
How much of what she does is just for shock value, and how much is real?
And I always say to that boring question, what sentence in what book do you have a problem with?
There's a little bit of a turnout.
Children of people, not pervs, property.
True.
Okay, but that's like a little organization.
What is this?
I don't know what that is.
That's good.
Good.
That wasn't there, I don't think.
Neither was that.
Whatever.
Justice for Liquid.
Yeah, no.
Show up to pedophiles.
That was Tommy Robinson's charge.
That's the closest.
Was showing up.
Tommy Robinson's charge was that.
Doing what they were doing.
It was going to a pedophile's trial and protesting.
Or even just saying, yo Roy, you got your prison bag?
Go to 1-4.
I saw this great sign on CNN.
They're protesting free speech.
Oh yeah, that was...
It might be in a different one.
This might be 15, actually.
14.
Okay, go back to 14.
That's relevant, too, though.
So I went and I did Anne's talk after she was banned, and then we're walking back and I'm going Uhuru right there in that picture.
I'm saying ooh of Uhuru, which is a joke where we make fun of that Ghazi Kadzo lunatic on YouTube.
That could be the end of Uhuru, too, to be fair.
Okay, it could be the ooh of the second Uhuru.
It's a joke we do from a viral video.
And the SPLC used that to talk about hate.
Fomenting hate in America.
And they always show that particular picture.
After I had done a banned speech.
How ironic is that?
Anyway, go to 1-5.
Because the sign they're holding up... Silence is siding with the oppressor.
Get it?
They're against free speech.
They don't, and they don't know how to spell oppressor, by the way.
You got two Ps there, Mr. PP.
Uh, they don't want Anne to talk under the guise of silence being bad.
What?
They're anti-silence as they want to prevent people from hearing Anne's speech.
No, I'm not exaggerating.
No, that's not a kooky twist.
Kooky twist.
And they kept saying, go home.
That was a biggie.
Go home!
Go home!
I don't want to go home.
They want everyone to be in their homes.
Like you do when there's a major storm coming or a lunatic roaming the streets.
Like they have curfews in Jamaica and Soviet Russia.
Look, that guy's trying to get in.
And then he keeps, there's that 14-year-old girl, that little tiny girl, she's probably not 14, but she looks like a 14-year-old girl, and she's screaming at him for hurting her while she gets in his path!
It's the same as the Silence song!
He's not allowed to go listen.
Alright, we're running out of time.
Let's, uh, I know subscribers hate this, so I'm not gonna sit and replay major parts of the week, but I, forgive me if I want to show the people who don't pay for this show just a couple highlights.
And I'll talk through them, so we're not gonna like peace out and show you shit you've already seen.
But yesterday's show, we showcased this bizarre video that encouraging children to touch themselves under the auspices of like being open about your sexuality, but it was a children's video and it seemed to be about masturbation?
I'm not even sure we can show this on YouTube.
I bet my YouTube will get penalized from this, which I believe I got off YouTube.
But what does she say?
I just wanna play by myself now.
She just wanna play by herself now!
Who's this for?
I respect that!
That's right!
Who doesn't respect... Okay, that black guy is a vagina, and then she, the two girls want to see where they came from, so they go between his legs into a fourth dimension that is the beauty of a vagina, which is kind of what the conservative right is saying.
That, you know, Ann Coulter said this herself, said women are celestial, meaning they're magic, meaning they can create life.
Sentient, sorry.
Sentient.
Celestial.
Play a little bit more of that?
It's so bizarre.
Can you imagine dating her?
This is where you come from, honey.
It's a magical place.
Would you like to come in?
Really?
Heaven, yes!
Sure!
It is a magical place.
Why do you let abortion doctors stick tongs in there and massacre what's inside?
Alright, that was Wednesday's show.
See how quick we're going through this?
Tuesday's show we talked about, there was two great elements on Tuesday's show.
There was, we talked about the Conservative Civil War going on, which is like, the mainstream Conservatives Ben Shapiro, you know, all the Daily Caller guys, Charlie Kirk, and then what are considered by many to be the, well they call them alt-right too, I call them trad-right, but the more nationalist conservatives.
So it's really, I call it trad-right versus new-right, and I broke down the difference between the two, and just like my 10 things I hate about the Jews video, I was calling for unity, and saying, a lot of these guys, like the guys in the top, top left there with the beard, I think he's bad news.
But a lot of these people, Buchanan, Malkin, Tucker, Ann, Paul Joseph Watson, Lauren Chen, Alex Jones, Cassandra Fairbanks, the black dude at the bottom.
What's his name?
Lucas.
The Amazing Lucas.
The Amazing Lucas.
Owen Schroer, that blonde chick that you like, the redhead.
What's her name?
Stephanie Hudson.
You have to marry her, by the way.
Today?
I will officiate the wedding.
Cassandra Fairbanks.
Yeah, she's a catch, dude.
And she has a brain.
Nobody says that she's interested in me.
Really?
Well, you know her.
That's all it takes.
We hung out in D.C.
This is how you get a girl.
We don't know.
Talking, talking, talking, talking, talking, talking, laughing, fucking.
Oh.
You just keep going.
You keep selling.
Always marketing.
You're getting Ryan out there.
You're a used car salesman.
So you can just play that anywhere, I guess.
That used to be America, remember?
I don't agree with what you say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it.
That used to define Western culture, and now it's like, don't be seen in a photo with him.
He's evil.
Okay, so that was that.
By the way, it's disturbing how often I get calls about Kruipers and Fuentes, Nick Fuentes, and how I have to get in bed with him.
It's starting to smell federal, like feds are involved.
I had the same thing with Charlottesville.
Hey, I hear you don't like statues being taken down.
Yeah, I think it's weird.
Come to Charlottesville.
You really gotta come to Charlottesville.
It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be all about statues.
Uh, no.
Why not?
Please, please, please?
Why are you, why, why aren't you just dropping it?
I get invited to do talks all the time, when I say no, they go, oh well, and drop it.
They wouldn't drop Charlottesville, and they won't drop Gripers.
Maybe it's just a coincidence, I don't know.
But leave me the fuck alone.
Um, and then we interviewed a black guy, based solely on that.
No really.
He said that the thing I don't get about a lot of black Americans is they were raised by their grandparents and their grandparents are from a bonafide racist America.
So they talk about all this the Klan and all this shit all the time and it gets in your poor little modern head as a kid and then now you think 2019 is 1950.
And it was a good argument for this massive disconnect because people sound like they're talking about the 50s when they talk about how racist America is.
It's not a good environment to raise a kid. - Well, you said it made you paranoid and you had nightmares about the Klan.
- Yeah, that was the earliest nightmare I can remember having was about the Kupaks Klan chasing me in the pickup truck.
- Sorry to laugh, but white America's the same way, Remember a couple years ago we had that woman on campus who complained that there was a Klan rally in one of the classrooms on her campus and of course the school freaked the fuck out and they looked into it and it was a dust cover on a microscope.
It had a pointy top to it.
Or the other day I'm at a bar and I said you know Antifa is the paramilitary wing of the DNC and they go to these rallies and they fuck up Trump supporters and then the guy next to me was a liberal and he said well Trump has that too and I said what who and he goes the KKK Like the KKK are galloping up to a Trump rally and beating people.
I like how I'm showcasing an interview I did with someone and just featured myself the entire time.
You had a great point.
The Gavin Show!
I pay intellectuals to hang out with me and then sit and talk at black people to show how open-minded and un-racist I am.
Listen to me say this, young man.
And then, what else?
Oh yeah, and then on Monday's show, we stole this from Anthony Cumia, but one of his guests had dug up this tape of Trump talking about how he was rumored to be fucking his penthouse pet and she's super fat and he would never fuck her.
And the reason that we love this clip is because the way he says fucking is the way we say fucking.
Fucking.
Fucking.
And number one.
Number two.
Who the fuck is?
I use models for that.
You have to go back a little bit.
Number one.
And number two.
Who the fuck is?
And number two.
Who the fuck is?
Number two.
Who the fuck is?
I use models for that.
I don't use models for that.
Yeah.
Maybe I have to explain that.
So she was saying that she, uh, she's a Playboy model, penthouse model.
And she goes, yeah, Donald Trump wants me to model for this new project he's doing.
And he's like, who the fuck?
We use models for that.
I'm not going to use some penthouse pet.
Right.
Who the fuck is... She looks like a fucking... Yeah, yeah, that was another fucking he had.
She looks like a fucking... It's Canadian, actually.
He uses the F-word like we do in the Ottawa Valley.
And I think you only get that comfortable with the F-word when you say it 1,100 times a day.
Yeah.
He's got a real potty mouth.
All right, that's enough of that.
All right.
And then there was Milo's show on Friday, had Denise McAllister.
She wrote that book, What Men Want.
To say to a woman, but can't.
Now she was, pull up the article from her, that was USA Today, she was fired for her homophobic tweets.
And you know, in the old days you'd hear that and you'd go, oh shit, she must hate gays, that's weird, one of those God hate fags, Fred Phelps kind of chicks.
But now when you hear that you go, yeah, let me see, let me see what she said.
And what she said was, scroll down, she tweeted out.
Oh, I've exited out.
Okay, there we go.
She tweeted out that her man was watching the game and she went and got him a beer.
And then when she came back with the beer, he grabbed her and deep kissed her.
And then Yashir Ali, I think his name is, gay dude, said, I'm a little worried you might be being abused.
And then she says, so go down to the first one, trying to talk to my husband, blah, blah, blah, deep kisses.
Patience and timing, ladies, that's the lesson, right?
So she's really traditional.
Keep going.
Yeah, deep kiss, keep going.
And then, so Yashir Ali says, I guess Denise is not happy that I'm worried about how her husband treats her.
And then she says to Yashar, a gay man commenting on a heterosexual relationship is just sad.
Pathetic, really.
That sounds pretty valid to me.
Yeah.
Like, imagine I was commenting on a gay relationship and they said, a straight person commenting on a gay relationship is sad.
Can you imagine that gay then being fired?
Yeah.
It's unfathomable.
But she was fired for that and she talked about it on the show.
Do we have that clip?
There we go.
Just take that down there.
There's you, big Joe.
I should have apologized, yeah, for being ugly in the way I said it.
I shouldn't have.
I know, I know, I learned.
One thing you're not is ugly.
And you should never apologize to ugly people.
Here's a life lesson that I've learned.
If you're beautiful, you're always right.
And then finally, last thing we'll do on this update is the Joe Biggs show where, I did not know about this, but the rampant opioid use within the military is hair whitening.
Maybe that's why Biggs has white hair.
No, but it really is sick.
And I'm worried that the government kind of likes it because they go, I don't know, they get withdrawal symptoms when they leave us.
And when they're at war, they're fearless and happy.
I kind of liked it.
They're addicted to opioids on the battlefield.
Yeah, sure.
They kill themselves in the OD when they go home, but I'm already done with them by then.
So play it.
Yes, I've changed, but it's all this anxiety.
I should be with my boys right now.
My friends need me over there.
Stop nagging.
Stop nagging.
So the narrative here is he's doing the mind of a soldier who is back amongst civilians after being overseas.
Nagging.
All right.
Wait, you've got what?
It'll help numb the pain.
All right.
Give me those.
Oh, let's go to the bar.
Yeah.
So the more and more you nag and the more and more you Uh, attack that soldier.
And I'm saying attack because that's how we feel.
I'm going to say things that you're not going to like, but that's what we feel like.
You're attacking us.
You are becoming an enemy to us.
And that's when we will begin to shut down and not want to speak to you.
All right, that's enough.
I can't do it justice with a short clip.
Um, all right.
I think we're done the free stuff, right?
Yeah.
You want to get these schmucks out of here?
Could have been funnier.
We could have had a funnier episode.
Yeah, well... Maybe we should watch a funny video.
Should we do that?
Sure, sure.
Before we leave these freebies?
The Freebie Kids.
I kind of wanted to go through all these stupid movies with badass bitches.
Like, they tend to have, what's her name, Fatso, in them.
The Kitchen, about women taking over the Westies in Hell's Kitchen.
Melissa McCarthy.
Melissa McCarthy.
And Ghostbusters 2.
And Tiffany Haddish.
Where women are, who are scared of spiders, usually, has been my experience, have no problem with fighting ghosts.
And in Ghostbusters 2, the special effects are so good that it's really more like they're fighting hell.
It's like a portal has opened up into hell, and they're fighting the most petrifying demons imaginable, and if they lose this battle, I assume the Earth is over, and civilization as we know it.
And they're just like, fucking... Die, bitch!
Yeah, right.
Terry Shappert and Joe Biggs would be pooping in their pants if they were doing that, and they're the bravest men in the country.
And then Charlie's Angels, the new reboot, flopped.
But then I thought, that's kind of a weak premise because Charlie's Angels, the other reboot with Lucy Liu and all that, that destroyed.
So sometimes... Because it wasn't done with spite and vengeance of like, girls can kick it.
It was just like, we're rebooting a thing.
These are chicks.
Yeah, I gotta work on this, because it's not as simple as, like, CHICKS RUIN MOVIES!
It might be the shape of the agenda when chicks are in movies.
Exactly.
I think it's the tone.
But in Charlie's Angels, the Lucy Liu one, weren't they kicking the living shit out of guys they could never beat up in a million years?
Yeah, but it wasn't because it was trying to say, hey, fuck you, look at these chicks doing awesome shit.
It was just the nature of that kind of movie.
Were they gonna be losers?
So...
All right, let's end on a high note and subscribers stick around because we're going to take calls.
This is a couple of hosers stealing a car, a bait car.
I'm not sure how I feel about bait cars.
It feels like entrapment.
Yeah.
It's sort of like, um, to catch a predator, which obviously it's good that they're catching these disgusting creeps, but it's also a dude going online, pretending to be a 14 year old and saying disgusting sexual things that a 14 year old would never say.
So are you really getting pedophiles off the street or are you sort of creating pedophiles where there were none in the first place?
I'm not saying there's no pedophiles.
You know what I mean?
It's a tough subject to go near.
But with this one, like say you parked five Ferraris in the hood with keys in them.
And a bunch of kids jumped in them and started taking them.
Have you prevented five car thieves that were going to steal Ferraris anyway?
Or did you create a car thief?
I think you're fishing for people with criminal capacity.
Yeah, it's literally like fishing.
Yeah, yeah.
You're putting bait there that wasn't normally there.
I mean, it's called bait.
Bait is tricking fish.
You're not feeding fish.
You're pretending to be food and then killing the fish.
That fish would have been minding his own business.
Anyway, these stupid hosers.
I don't get stealing a car, by the way.
It must just be 100% the thrill, because you're not just going to get it and then just take it and drive it to work every day, park in your garage.
So what are you doing with it?
You're looking at seven years for what?
A fast ride in a car?
Why don't you rent a car and crash it?
That's the same thrill.
You lose a point on your license and you won't go to prison.
Anyway.
How do they bait?
How do they use the bait?
Because I think he did smash the steering column.
Because she talks about crazy gluing it back.
- Can you break the car off the roof?
- Okay, hold on, hold on.
- IBM laptop.
- What? - IBM laptop.
- Is it really?
- No.
- Is that the IBM laptop? - Water.
Now, a brand new PowerBook to sell.
People are worried about it being traced and all that.
I bet you couldn't get 200 bucks for it, right?
Definitely not.
Now an IBM laptop?
What are you gonna get for that?
Full gas!
Fucking right.
That's how I knew she was Canadian.
Trying to get their mug shots here.
Fucking right.
Fucking... Check it out, eh?
Full tank of gas.
IBM laptop.
We can get at least 15 bucks for that.
The high beams are off, baby.
Baby baby baby I want to get some superglue from my car to fix that She's talking about the steering column that it gets you smashed to hotwire it.
Why is stealing a car still a thing?
I could understand back in the 70s when it was hard to find the car.
But now?
How can you benefit?
It must suck to be a thief now.
Like you break into a house, what are you gonna get?
A big stack of money?
And a big pile of gold and diamond jewelry?
Diamond jewels.
Diamonds.
The FBI planted the car there.
It was bait.
It's basically entrapment.
The government's trying to get us to do bad things.
It's not just a laptop.
It's a laptop and a laptop bag.
But no charger.
Those go for at least five bucks.
Now we're up to $21.
And then of course the cops go.
Turn it up.
We're done.
We're getting pulled over.
For what?
For what?
He's like, for what?
I don't know, stealing the car you're in?
Just pause.
- I don't like God, baby.
- Relax, baby. - I'm gonna miss you so much, baby. - Just pause.
This is kind of an interesting look at men and women's brains.
The woman is able, maybe this is 'cause of childbirth, they can take big things either out of their vaginas or into their brains.
And she's like, we're fucked.
She totally realizes the gravity of the situation.
And I'm guilty of this too.
Just go, we're good.
It's just a siren.
Uh, he's probably just a random check.
He's like, for what?
Cause logically there has to be a reason why we're fucked.
She's just skipping right to the, we're fucked.
Yeah.
Actually, I usually say the opposite.
I usually say men are better at taking bad news than women.
Maybe this is demasculinization?
He's acting like a woman?
I think he's acknowledging that we're fucked, but he's saying what's the cause though?
No, no, he's in total denial.
Really?
Yeah, he said we didn't do anything wrong.
Look, he just said, see, it's okay.
It's fine, but he's doing the guy thing.
Coincidentally, four seconds after we stole a car, and this goes back to you, Ryan, rejecting facts.
Well, it goes back to you on the airplane telling your wife it's gonna be okay, but you know that you're fucked.
Remember that?
Oh, yeah.
Where you're trying to make her calm down.
I thought we were gonna crash in this Cessna thing, and as my pants filled with diarrhea, metaphorically, she was shaking and holding my hand.
I go, it's just a bus in the sky.
We're gonna be fine.
Meanwhile, I was Fucking scared.
Yeah.
Because it was in Costa Rica where they don't have two prop planes.
It's one prop.
So if the engine dies, you die.
Yeah.
Alright, go ahead.
I like when God's gonna intervene.
Don't worry about it, hosers.
Plug in rights.
You're just gonna fly away, eh?
Those fingers are not crossed.
Our fingers are crossed!
Not enough.
Come on, don't be the thing that I know it is.
Is this Trevor and Corey from Trailer Park Boys?
Fuckin' Trevor and Corey stole the car.
So what- I bet she gets off scot-free.
What do you think he's gonna get?
Yeah, I looked it up, this is from last winter.
So, I should be able to find more info, but I did, could not.
I think- my gut just says two years.
I'll look at what he does there.
What's going on?
Don't move, keep your hands up.
He just took off and he can morph his molecules so he got out of the car without even opening the door.
I'm pregnant with the other guy's baby.
He's magic.
I got her pregnant.
Don't hurt me either.
This invisible guy just stole the car.
He's sitting here right now laughing at you.
Just throw flour on him or any kind of a powder.
You'll see.
We hate him.
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Right, that's it for the free episode and all.
We're gonna go behind the paywall anew, which you can get to at freespeech.tv, and we're gonna take calls.
We do that once a week.
Tomorrow night we got Milo and Biggs is coming up and we'll have that Michael Schirmer and Dinesh D'Souza hopefully up by Saturday and all!
Right, see yous people!
Hanging's too good for yous!
Be brave!
No, get fired!
Get in trouble!
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