Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E89 - LOVE YOUR BODY

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Nov. 20, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:35:10

S02E89 - LOVE YOUR BODY

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Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Neither is neither loose nor tight.
	Neither is neither black nor white.
	Chorus.
	Is this song about a cat?
	His chorus is so badass.
	Yeah.
	can't fight seether Can't fight seether I can't see her till I told her top comment now seether needs to make a song called Varooka Salt There's a band called Seether Can't fight the seether.
	This is what I tell African Americans when a cop is fucking with you just seethe you can't fight the seether Just seethe you fucking yeah, I'll put my sandwich away officer.
	Yep Are we good now?
	Yep, all right.
	Yep.
	Yes, it won't happen again officer Hate his guts if you want hate him Don't sit there going fuck you.
	I know why you're doing this.
	I know how this works motherfucker Fuck you pig Why bother still got to get those felt things.
	What about those sticky things you had with the Velcro?
	Yeah, we could try that.
	Let's try that.
	That was Ruka Salt from Chicago.
	That was a kind of a good thing.
	I've heard a lot of feminists complain that indie rock included women in the 90s and you don't see that anymore.
	And I think they have a point.
	Luscious Jackson were pretty good.
	That Portlandia chicks band, Sleeter Kinney.
	And these were not affirmative action bands.
	Like I would go see Sleeter Kinney and just watch those chicks fingers.
	It was like watching Yingi Malmstein.
	They were all over the place.
	Really talented musicians.
	L7, the Breeders.
	There was a lot of really good chick bands.
	Latigray, Tsunami Bomb.
	Never heard of Tsunami Bomb.
	They're pretty cool.
	God, I'm so ripped these days.
	Look how ripped I am.
	That's pretty real.
	I'm working out for an hour and a half every day for about a year, and my muscle mass has increased at least 1%.
	This is one of the best by Tsunami Bomb.
	What are they called?
	Tsunami Bomb?
	What the hell is it playing Cedar for again?
	I don't know.
	This is weird.
	I don't know, Dickwit.
	Yeah, true.
	Really punk vocals?
	boring like ugh That's crappy.
	Reminds me of propagandy.
	God, you have shitty taste in music.
	I can't believe yesterday.
	I still can't get over this, by the way, that you thought I was going to be handling the farts with my own anus yesterday.
	Right.
	I told my wife that, and she was laughing her head off.
	See, sometimes I need an outside source to double confirm that you're insane.
	Maybe.
	I got a lot on my mind while doing the show.
	Got a lot of things.
	Oh, so you were lying.
	No, while I was doing the clips, I was finding clips and you said, I hope you got a lot of good farts for me.
	That was after.
	We're not going to get in the same fight again.
	Jesus.
	Speaking of yesterday's farts and fartgate, so Eric Stalwell let one rip.
	I think Donald Trump Jr. said that's the only cohesive thing that's come out of his body since the beginning of this campaign.
	He better be done now because we killed Howard Dean for a scream.
	And I just re-listened to it the other, like a second ago.
	Oh, I sent it to you as a separate email.
	And I'm listening to it going, we fried this guy for this?
	And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan.
	And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House.
	Can you just pause?
	Oh, I just ruined it.
	Sorry.
	When you're on a mic and a crowd is screaming like that, you hear, you don't know how loud you are.
	So in his ears, he's like one voice in a huge chorus of screaming people.
	Of course, the audio is directing the mic, so it just sounds like he's yelling at and everyone's being quiet.
	That's deceiving in and of itself.
	But go back to the yeah that I just ruined.
	That yeah could have been 15% better.
	Yeah like you can you read music?
	No.
	What would you say?
	It was like an octave high?
	I do it by ear.
	It's about three notes too high.
	Too sharp.
	Three notes too sharp.
	Yeah instead of yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Or just like yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So yeah wouldn't have ruined his career, but yeah does do you think it was the whole tirade?
	What?
	Because look there's some parts where he kind of goes a little wily.
	And Texas and New York and we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan.
	Maybe he listed one too many states.
	He is going to all those states.
	That was fine.
	Yeah.
	Shows he remembers all the states he's going to also.
	Yeah, I don't remember them.
	I can't remember a damn thing.
	Sometimes I'll think a city's a state.
	I want to catch up on the mailbag today.
	And speaking of the mail bag, I'd like to talk about sexuality today.
	So there's two themes.
	This is the mailbag catch up and the sex show.
	But before we get into that, I saw a great article on Summit.news about students who, why does this have to be a Class called Unplugging from Society or something.
	This is 1-1.
	Yes, it's very healthy that these kids didn't.
	They gave away their cell phones for a complete week.
	100%.
	The phone stayed in the school.
	You don't get it at night, never.
	You have an alarm clock.
	You have to find your way around with a map.
	And they were freaking out after, well, just play the video.
	Be happy to know they actually survived.
	22 Adelphi University students made it a whole week without their cell phones.
	As we first told you last week, it was part of a college course intended to break a powerful addiction.
	CBS tutor's Carlin Gustoff went back today as the students reunited with their beloved phones.
	It's old school in Jacob Dannenberg's dorm room.
	A clock wakes him.
	Handwritten notes remind him.
	And what's this?
	Is this something to keep track of time?
	No, it's not.
	He's never heard of a watch before.
	It's called a wrist clock radio.
	One week ago, handed over their smartphones.
	I'm freaking out.
	A bold experiment to recognize today's compulsive relationships with every present device.
	At the gym today.
	By the way, I did three rounds with Hydroman today.
	Dang.
	It's nine minutes.
	And I did not fare badly at all.
	Nice.
	You know what I got him with a couple times?
	Overhand right.
	Plunge.
	People don't expect it because you don't practice the overhand right on the bags.
	No one's sitting on a bag going boink, boink, boink.
	So you're all ready for these combinations.
	And then when the flying piece of space shrapnel comes in, you bonk them.
	I got him a few good ones, but boy, did he knock my noggin.
	Did he say good job?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	That's my goal in boxing is to get to the point where my opponent does not say good.
	That is my number one goal.
	I'd also like to go four rounds without having AIDS.
	At one point, oh, here's a good boxing tip.
	At one point, I was dying so much in the second round that I was just going, screaming at him and then going, like a crazy chimpanzee.
	And that actually helped me quite a bit because it was psycho.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	And also, it made him laugh.
	So he was laughing at a crazy person and I got in there a few times.
	Nailed him.
	God, that's a good jam.
	Look up suicidal tendencies.
	Psycho, psycho, psycho, psycho.
	That's the only life for me.
	A psycho is the way I want to be.
	Turn around the corner and the corner never ends.
	Then we scream out, scream, shout.
	No, you can't begin.
	Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
	No, that's not it.
	It's on Join the Army, Suicidal Rock.
	I want you to join.
	I got a story to tell and listen up real well, pink.
	It's called Psycho, though?
	Or is it called Join the Army?
	Crazy.
	Maybe it's Join the Army.
	Join the Army by Suicide Pennsylvania is one of the most underrated records.
	It's one of those later records, like with Bad Brains and Quickness, where people go, no, I just like Band in DC.
	I like old school.
	You're like, yeah, you mean sucks at school?
	They got better.
	This is a different version of it.
	Nah, you just ruined it.
	You ruin everything, Ryan.
	So anyway, I'm having a lot better relationships.
	It's a stress-free environment.
	No pressure about social media, said one of the students.
	She also said that focus and concentration improved and that doing homework was 100% easier.
	I got it done faster.
	I was in the zone.
	These phones are preventing us from reading.
	And I was talking yesterday about a trick to get back into reading and to treat it like TV.
	Like the other day, my wife's reading about Flea.
	It's called Acid for the Children or something like that.
	And I just picked it up and I read a chapter.
	I probably won't read that anymore.
	I get it.
	Flea's not my cup of tea.
	He's a little too much of a hippy-dippy guy.
	So I had a taste of Flea's book.
	Just like if I was channel surfing, I might watch a documentary about Flea for a second and go, oh yeah, the basis.
	Yeah, that's fun.
	That's a good way to relate it.
	Yeah.
	It's true.
	So just don't feel like your teacher is leaning over you with a meter stick.
	Be a dick when it comes to reading.
	And eventually you'll get back into the subject and it'll totally change your life.
	The fact that no one can focus, that my students can't sleep, they feel bad about themselves because of social media.
	The list goes on and on.
	She said, let's all try.
	Look, I understand you can't quit.
	I can't quit my phone because I got lawsuits, my friend's in prison.
	I got lawyers calling me.
	I'm trying to run a business.
	But I'm going to try to look at it as little as possible.
	Go poo without your phone.
	Go to a bar and the bartender's talking to someone else.
	You don't know anyone at the bar.
	Just sit there.
	Have a thought.
	We're not having thoughts anymore.
	In fact, one of the things I like about the gym is I can't be on my phone and I get out of my head for a few seconds and come up with great ideas.
	Like, I want to do an instructional video on how to box, where after I explain to you how to do like a perfect uppercut, I get into the ring and the guy beats me up.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Because I hate instructional videos where they have like how to deal with a knife attack and the knife attacker is going and he's like.
	Meanwhile, a knife attacker just goes in your side.
	Oh, I'm so glad I remembered this.
	I was thinking, that made me think of Jason Bourne, which I watched last night a little bit of, which rules.
	I want to have a, my brother's going to come down for Christmas, and I want to have a whole Jason Bourne marathon.
	Oh, Joe Rogan tweeted this.
	I saw this.
	That's what you want to do.
	Bonk him on the head with a giant log.
	And he will go down.
	And then you crunch him with your giant log that has two ribbons on it.
	What the fuck?
	You skipped the first part where you take it out of your pocket.
	Out of your holster.
	Some guy wants to fight me?
	Hold on, I'll Be right back.
	You come back like Jesus.
	Yeah, see that stuff.
	You can't stab me.
	Good.
	Keep trying.
	Any hissle.
	I didn't talk about this movie before, but I meant to.
	Dolomite.
	What an incredible, perfect film this is.
	And it ends with a new video drop we have to use.
	Okay.
	It ends with, bitch, are you for real?
	Like, I think it's after the credits and everything.
	It's just a very last-second clip.
	This movie, forget about Eddie Murphy, who's wonderful in it.
	Forget about Dolomite.
	Forget about the stupid controversy of how much was he kidding?
	Was he being sarcastic or no?
	He was kidding.
	He made incredible movies, but the big picture here, it's a movie about entrepreneurs.
	It's a movie about a man who was determined to make a living for himself.
	And he did it.
	He noticed that authentic culture had mass appeal, even though it didn't have appeal in the mainstream.
	So he sat with bums, got them drunk.
	And back then, bums were doing this sort of precursor to rap, this sort of like rhyming insults like, I'm such a badass, I kick my own ass twice a day.
	Tell him he's got 24 hours and 23 of them is up!
	I'm proud of her.
	For damn near two years, she's been bugging me about doing this.
	Dad, make'em bad!
	Yeah, like he didn't sanitize it.
	He did true black ghetto culture before anyone else did, and he made a fortune.
	He did wonderful, and he was bankrupt.
	Look at that scene.
	They had so much sex, the walls cave in.
	It's so fucking good.
	And I don't care how you feel.
	You could be the most racist guy in the world.
	And you will love this movie if you care about entrepreneurs.
	Forget black culture, forget dolomite, forget all of that.
	It's about being determined.
	You know, we're losing our economic mojo in this day and age, and you have to understand that...
	There we go.
	He made me do it.
	Bitch, are you for real?
	There, there.
	You have to isolate that.
	Every time a woman does something that bothers us on this show, we have to cut to dolomite saying, bitch, are you for real?
	Yeah, for every success I've had over the years, I've had 12 failures.
	So I've got failed restaurants and shows and movies and stuff.
	And then we'd have one that hits.
	You know, we had How to Be a Man that hits.
	We had the Traveling Hood of the, what was it?
	The Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants.
	Sold that at Aspen, whatever film festival.
	The app that people can use, Swarm.
	So lots of successes, made lots of money, especially in real estate, had tons and tons of failures.
	The secret to the failures is you lose as little money as possible with the failure.
	So you start small, so if it crashes, you haven't bet the family farm.
	But failure is a huge part of success, and we're losing that.
	We're even losing it in sports.
	So I really would love you to watch this movie and focus on it economically.
	I'm glad I remembered to mention that.
	Okay, let's get to the theme of the show today, which is this bizarre world we're living in.
	And I think I'll preface it with this theme that I keep coming back to, which is we've censored comedy.
	Censored comedy.
	We've censored the comedy.
	No more curses.
	No more bad language.
	No more Archie Bunker.
	We lose Archie Bunker.
	What's next, Fred Flintstone?
	He's gone.
	Say goodbye to Barney.
	No more dinos.
	No more dinos.
	No more dinosaur.
	But, and I think it's because they can't defend themselves.
	Children are fair game.
	Yes, I'm for real.
	And, you know, it's similar with Christians.
	You can bash Christians on stage because they're not going to kill you.
	But bash Islam or Judaism and your career is over.
	So people don't go near those.
	Similarly, you can call the proud boys a hate group and recommend that everyone gets fired and get them fired.
	But you're not going to go near a bona fide hate group like, say, Aryan Nations because you know they'll get you.
	So by the very nature of you being attacked, it shows that you're a civil person who doesn't deserve this scorn or else they wouldn't have the balls to do it.
	They don't call El Chapo.
	Huffington Post doesn't write long articles about the evils of El Chapo.
	At least not before he was arrested and put in a cage.
	Did you find those Velcro things?
	They're in the utility area.
	Let's go to the utility area.
	We can take a break.
	I'm utilizing.
	So in this culture, now we have this sore thumb that sticks out.
	These are 10 offensive fields.
	All right?
	You've got rid of all of them but one, and that's kid jokes.
	Now, I don't hate kid jokes.
	I'm not pushing for a world where we censor kid jokes.
	But when you just have that one thing, it sticks out like a sore thumb.
	And I've got a couple of examples of this.
	this is one three.
	Anthony Jesselnik was asked, uh, why are so many of your jokes?
	She says, why are so many of Anthony Jeselnik's tweets about children and child porn and focused on sex with children or their genitalia?
	And then he does another kid joke and says, right about what you know.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	That's the problem at hand.
	Ah, shoot.
	Yeah, and then also it would be fixed.
	Wouldn't it be fixed to the fixed to the what?
	Oh, I see what you're doing.
	You're just doing that.
	Okay.
	Oh, don't get involved in my shit, dude.
	All right.
	I've built houses.
	Okay.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	There.
	What do you think of that?
	Now it's sticking out on either side.
	Have you got some scissors?
	Scissors.
	Some skeezers?
	Isn't it cute how kids have to earn the right to use scissors?
	And when they start out, they have those big safety scissors with the serrated edge.
	And then slowly, as we trust them more and more, they earn the right to have scissors.
	I remember when my daughter was about six, she finally earned the right to have scissors and she just went and chopped her bangs completely off.
	So they were just like one centimeter long.
	She looked like something to die anward.
	Fuck, it was funny.
	Then another time when she was even older than that, maybe eight, she had like a loose hair here and she went, oh, geez, I know.
	And then she accidentally cut a hole in her head, like a huge quarter-sized chunk.
	And she was crying, and my wife had to go talk to her.
	And I sort of showed up and I go, what's the problem?
	What's the problem there?
	My wife's like, just don't worry about it.
	I got it.
	I got it.
	That's true.
	I love video drops.
	Yeah, video drops are pretty dope.
	And people keep trying to tell us we didn't invent them.
	You.
	That made so much sense.
	Holy shit.
	You're the new Fred.
	See, this is what you got to focus on, Ryan.
	Comedy, funny imitations.
	Stop, like, philosophizing.
	I know.
	I got to do comedy imitations.
	For too long, we've been on comedy limitations.
	Ow, that was really dangerous.
	And you knocked over my cacti.
	No, I knocked over your cactus.
	There's only one that's all.
	You a smart dude, Mr. Garrison.
	Or here's another example.
	And again, I love these guys, although Ron Bennington rubs me the wrong way.
	Ronnie B, I don't like a guy who's dying telling me how to live my life.
	He's so obese.
	So obese.
	So beast.
	I love Mr. Bennington.
	But Creeps with Kids is a comedy tour going on right now with really funny dudes, Rich Voss, Jim Florentine.
	What am I 10?
	Do imitations of all those guys.
	You know what?
	Oh, wait.
	Bob Kelly.
	You know what, dude?
	You take your fucking bandolier, dude.
	You get your iPhone, dude.
	Then you got, do you get Rich Voss?
	All right, I like my sneakers, okay, folks.
	And here's another thing.
	Then you got, Ronnie Bennington.
	You know, Ronnie B. Kind of does that abrupt Bilberris thing.
	And then you got Florentine.
	You know, what am I?
	I don't use ketchup.
	What am I five years old?
	I could usually do it better, but I'd have to switch my.
	Why is Rich Voss wearing?
	Why is he a sneaker pimp at his age?
	He's older than me.
	I don't know.
	And the little pork pie hats.
	Yeah.
	You know what grosses me out about Bobby Kelly?
	I love the guy, by the way.
	Love him like I'm gay for him.
	But when he talks about you're eating chocolate cake and it's so good and then you start sweating and your feet swell up and you got to take your shoes off, I'm listening to it going, what?
	When you eat, you start to, your feet swell up so much you have to remove your fucking shoes?
	Stop eating.
	What?
	What are you talking about?
	I've never had that food experience.
	Yeah, nobody can relate.
	I'm not shitting on this joke or any of their jokes, but their tour is called Creeps with Kids, which would be awesome if we had all 10 offensive things going on.
	But because we only have this, we've got Anthony Jeselnik talking about genitalia, and then we have Creeps with Kids.
	And it just, it makes me uneasy because it sticks out like a sore thumb.
	And it's starting to, and I think because of this whole shit about don't have kids and the world's overpopulated, we're starting to evolve into an anti-kid culture where SNL and comedians can make disgusting pedophile jokes and it's the only offensive jokes they make.
	And then you notice it in this sort of fake sympathy you get from celebrities about these children at the border.
	They care more about children at the border than they care about their own kids.
	Crazy, right?
	Let me give you an example.
	After that last shooting, I don't know what it was, there was like one kid in a high school day.
	Santa Clarita?
	Santa Clara.
	Andy Richter, this is 1.5, put out this tweet where it's like they don't even look into whether the gun was legal or not.
	They just go, we need, okay, that's enough.
	We need to stop with these goddamn kids getting killed.
	It's the first one in that thread.
	Two more kids were shot to death in their school today, and a chorus of voices from the people who support those who profit from the proliferation of guns will go up today and say, don't politicize the tragedy, but it is political power that allows these tragedies to continue.
	Nice.
	Cheng Unger immediately did the same thing, too.
	He's unbearable, but.
	And then Sarah Tyre, who was the coach from my favorite show Strangers with Candy, she gets on there and won six.
	And she says, don't you fucking dare call yourself pro-life and be against gun safety laws.
	The terror we are inflicting on our children is child abuse.
	Okay, the reason I bring those two up is they just got divorced.
	They have a 12-year-old and an 18-year-old.
	I think the 12-year-old was like 11 when they were divorced.
	The damage that divorce does to a kid cripples a lot of shitty stuff.
	Shitty education, a tough neighborhood.
	None of those can compare with the devastation of divorce.
	Those children are less likely to have fulfilling relationships.
	They're much less likely to get married.
	I've seen my generation, Generation X, decimated by divorce.
	When I look up my old high school friends, only maybe half of them are married with kids because they're still traumatized by their parents' divorce.
	And by the way, Andy and Sarah, those past two tweeters were married is my point.
	They were together for 27 years.
	So the 11-year-old goes, wait a minute, Andy and Sarah were happily married for 15 years, loving life, kissing each other on the lips, going on vacations, going to Venice, going on that gondola thing.
	And then I came along and it all started to torpedo.
	Me and my brother ruined my parents' love.
	I'm a shit stain on my parents' relationship.
	I wrecked love.
	And she has to live With that.
	So, why don't you fucking focus on your own children and your own family before going off on some uninformed tirade about guns that you know nothing about?
	I don't know the details of that shooting, but I guarantee you the gun was, she was not meant to have it.
	Okay, so we can increase the gun laws and say, no more handguns for little kids.
	And guess what?
	Kids are going to fucking get a hold of a gun.
	All right.
	I'll end my more kid weirdness with this bizarre commercial for transparenting.
	This is 1-7.
	Rye guy.
	Ryan.
	Ryan.
	1-7.
	This is a crazy situation.
	Is that what he says?
	No, something so crazy.
	This is something crazy.
	Is it something crazy?
	Is it something crazy?
	This is kind of a trick, by the way.
	So if, just pause.
	If you have a problem with this, then you have a problem with a mother loving her gay son and you look like an asshole.
	Look, if your son's definitely off raging homosexual and he's an adult like that kid, probably 18, yeah, help him with his fucking makeup.
	I don't give a shit.
	But that's not really what's going on here.
	This is a corporation pushing trans on you and the country.
	Now, they're doing it because I notice young people are into trans, so they want to sell cola.
	This is a sprite ad, by the way.
	You won't see one sprite in this entire commercial.
	And the reason they're doing that is because it's popular, but the reason I'm against it is because, look, I know there's going to be some faggotry at some point.
	But when you push it and you normalize it, then someone who wouldn't normally go there ends up going there.
	And they have a brutal suicide rate.
	They have a brutal murder rate.
	They have a brutal drug addiction rate.
	They have a brutal STD rate.
	It's not a fun place to be.
	All right, dude, it's brutal.
	Dude, they're killing themselves.
	I have a better chance of living like flying my helicopter around.
	Get it?
	You literally do.
	Yeah.
	They have a higher suicide rate than Jews did in Germany in 1942.
	And that was not a good place to be for a Jew in Germany in 1942.
	So, you know, if it happens, it happens.
	But when you push it, then you send someone into a zone that they...
	I don't have a problem with people being Ching-Alings, but don't encourage it.
	It's a dangerous life, the life of a biker.
	Ooh, that smell.
	I can't think of the Ching-Alings without thinking of Puerto Ricans in New York listening to the song, That Smell.
	That's awesome.
	Your mom probably knew Ching-Alings.
	Ask your mom if she knew Chingalings.
	She banged one and made me.
	Yeah.
	She's got knows them intimately.
	Look at, he kind of looks sad.
	Yeah, mom, I'm not gay.
	Yes, you are, sweetheart.
	Trust me.
	She's just doing that.
	Mom, I want to go to football practice.
	You want to go to what practice?
	No, you don't.
	Come here with a corset.
	You can go wherever you want after I'm done doing that.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Is that a lesbian?
	Okay, just pause.
	All right, now that's fucked up.
	I said I didn't mind if you helped with the makeup, but helping your daughter squish your tits, that's fucked up.
	That looks exactly like my friend.
	This is why I'm a turf.
	I'm a trans-exclusionary radical feminist.
	If you're a woman and you have boobs, boob it up, bitches.
	Boob it up.
	Let them shake around.
	Let them dance.
	Be really harsh.
	You want to scissor someone?
	You want a 69 with a broad?
	Go bananas, but don't sever your breasts and suck the meat out because you want this.
	What's so great about this?
	It's not that wonderful.
	I mean, it's pretty good.
	I wish I had chest hair.
	Yeah.
	Fucking.
	Look how ripped I am.
	You kind of had abs there when you wouldn't, when you lean back a little bit.
	Look at that.
	Wait, but don't sit up too much because then the flabs start showing.
	That looks like basically Wolverine.
	Look at the side.
	Basically Wolverine.
	You're getting ripped.
	I should write that on my Tinder profile.
	Basically Wolverine.
	Oh my God.
	My brother showed me his profile and the woman that solicited him.
	Pretty good, huh?
	Hideous.
	Oh, we are living.
	I'm so glad I'm not a single male.
	We are living in a time of just like disgusting.
	And women bragging.
	Like a guy at the gym told me, yeah, you'll meet a woman on Tinder and she'll just brag that she's fucked 60 guys.
	That's totally normal.
	Like the slut at the bar I was telling you about that fucked all the patrons and she was like, yeah, I did 16 guys in 20 days.
	She's a very healthy 8, 30-year-old with money who doesn't do math.
	She's just a woman who likes to fuck my dad.
	I'm not really exaggerating.
	I bet she would blow my dad.
	Got to bring him over there.
	No, he's married.
	Hey, dad, you want a beach?
	I mean, not me, but a chick.
	I'll take a beer and a beach from my dad.
	It says that on the sign.
	Shots, $2.
	BJ's free.
	Sliders, $5.
	It's kind of steep.
	I mean, we have to buy the meat.
	They're locally sourced.
	And the blowjar.
	You don't go broke from BJ's.
	That's a t-shirt.
	You don't go broke from BJs.
	That's pretty good.
	So there you go.
	We hid your tits, lesbian.
	I don't really mind this.
	Whatever.
	You're a homo and you got a relationship with your grandmother and you're going to a parade.
	That's so weird.
	Or whatever, homosexual man.
	Not that we need any more holes in their logic, but it's like, you're fine however you are, but you're changing who you are.
	Yeah, but that's who you are.
	Okay.
	That's who you are.
	Yay.
	Again, the kids.
	Yay, kids hugging perverts.
	Bye, I'm whatever I am.
	Bye, son, daughter.
	Bye, fag.
	That was funny.
	Grandmother said that.
	See a fag.
	And he goes, I'm sorry, what?
	What?
	What'd you just say?
	I didn't say anything.
	Whatever.
	I just did your makeup.
	I was waving.
	Let it go.
	Nana, did you just call me fag?
	I don't want to know what that is.
	You mean a British cigarette?
	Like in a lovely way.
	See, you don't know that word?
	What are you talking about?
	He goes, okay.
	And then he continues down the stairs and he just hears, Faggot.
	There it was again.
	And the door slammed.
	He did it again.
	I did a what?
	You're psycho.
	You're paranoid.
	Okay, I'm sorry.
	Bye, Fang.
	That'd be funny if his name was like Adam.
	Fat.
	Oh, he's like, bye, Pat.
	What?
	I said, bye, Adam.
	I could have swear.
	I heard an F. You said like Fatim.
	No, I didn't.
	Fag.
	Okay, bye.
	That'd be funny if the mom, too, the other mom, just turns back into the house and just goes, just steams her hands.
	I like how, by the way, masculinity, male sex is just so disgusting.
	Yet we're happy to promote any non-normal, heterosexual, masculine sex.
	So there's toxic masculinity, but everything else is like, oh, suck it.
	Get in there.
	There goes my son, my only son.
	This is the last day I will live on this planet.
	I'm going to drive off cliff.
	Goodbye, Muhammad.
	Bye, dad.
	And goodbye to Islam.
	Hannah Ackbar!
	Oh, shit.
	That dad, we know, was not jazzed.
	I thought he was waiting for a smile.
	Yet another Arab man with a white beard who is watching his son go off to the gay parade, as Arab men are want to do.
	Goodbye, my son.
	Anyway, this brings us to a bigger picture about the sort of sexual depravity that's going on.
	I think it might come from porn.
	We're getting so lackadaisical, so apathetic about intimacy and sex and romance that we've turned ourselves into these depraved perverts that fuck dead people's ankles.
	This is not a link.
	I sent it to you as an email.
	Do you want to buy this?
	I'm selling them on eBay if you're interested.
	The toes are very realistic.
	Slightly used, well cleaned.
	The way I clean it is I put a bleach wipe on a wooden spoon and I plunge it in there and swirl it around.
	I really, I do a good job of cleaning.
	How do you clean the jizz out?
	Is there a hole on the other end?
	Or it just sits there for centuries, turning into some sort of toxic brown liquid that could melt glass.
	Those toes are really real looking.
	Like that foot looks real to me.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's made from dipping toes into latex.
	Yeah.
	And then some Chinese person sits there making the veins blue.
	But yeah, and the redness of the toes and the heel.
	That's really too much work for that thing, I think.
	What's the origin of this fantasy?
	I like feet.
	I'd like to fuck feet.
	Okay, that I can sort of handle.
	No, no, not in the toe area.
	Right where if you were to cut her feet off, where that hole would be.
	Oh, I get it.
	That desire like nobody has.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You're the one guy.
	I'm familiar with that.
	You're the one person with that fetish.
	The fetish is his name.
	Andrew Saltzman.
	And then once he got it.
	So you have it?
	Yes, I do.
	All right.
	We can break the molds.
	Just break them.
	We don't need these again.
	Well, I'll save them in case he loses it or he doesn't have time to clean it.
	All right.
	So this brings me to the thing I've been trying to get to, this whole goddamn show, which is a show in Britain called Fatal Attraction.
	It's going to blow your mind.
	It's a dating show based on Foreskins and Pussy Lips.
	It's not on a porn site.
	This is on mainstream British television.
	Now, I'm warning you, I know there's probably 13-year-olds who watch this show.
	Parents, if you're watching this show, we're about to see a lot of nudity.
	The reason I'm not sheepish about showing this nudity is it's not presented in a sexual way, which is kind of the problem.
	Because we're desexualizing ourselves until we're just like cattle now, just boning.
	But the nudity here is like in a changing room.
	So I don't feel bad showing it.
	If a 13-year-old sees it, that's, I guess, pretty bad.
	But this is the kind of nudity you would see at the gym, at the pool, at the changing room.
	There's no eroticism here.
	Now, it's ironic that I'm saying that as a good thing as far as this show goes, because this is the problem.
	We've stripped society of romance and love and fun and color.
	Clown world is gray.
	And in clown world, sex is just like...
	I can't believe I am left here touting romance.
	When I started Vice, I had no idea it would get to this.
	I had no idea we'd be reviewing calm milkshakes and judging people by their foreskins.
	Jesus Christ.
	I might have said that exaggerating in 2004, and here we are.
	Anyway, without further to do, I would like to present to you the strangest dating show that has ever been.
	What's going on?
	Yeah, welcome to Naked Attraction.
	We have a fourth channel, Channel 4, now.
	So Britain has four channels, BBC1, BBC2, BBC3.
	And now there's channel 4.
	And it's got all the dangerous, edgy stuff that's on late at night.
	And we got a new dating show where you look at a woman's fanny, which means vagina over there, or a guy's prick, and you say, I like him, I don't like her.
	What are they talking about?
	Who dates someone based on genitalia?
	I mean, if the labia, I guess, are like six inches long, that's kind of gross.
	Or if a guy has a micro penis, I can see that being a problem, but that's very rare.
	Genitalia is all pretty similar.
	And guys don't really dump girls based on genitalia.
	And I've heard of, I think I heard once in my entire life a girl say, yeah, I can't date this guy anymore.
	His penis is too small.
	But it doesn't really come up.
	Penises are all basically the same.
	And both things are kind of ugly.
	It's based on attraction.
	So this bizarre show has gays, lesbians, and straits looking at, starting from the ground up, looking at the genitalia, and then deciding who they want to date.
	Warning, nudity coming.
	Let's just check out some random episodes and see how much, how determined Britain is to ruin sex.
	How are you feeling?
	Really excited.
	It's like Christmas, isn't it?
	It's like all little men in boxes.
	So just explain to me why you're keen to choose a date naked.
	You see the trick they're doing here, right?
	They want to show salacious pornography, but you're not allowed to do that on TV.
	So they make it really clinical.
	And like, why do you prefer foreskins to circumcised?
	Oh, it's more lubricated.
	Yes, fascinating.
	Okay.
	And then they'll have some little scientific tangent that says, people are attracted to feet because of nerve endings, and they try to make it all scientifically.
	Meanwhile, the only place you can find these uncensored in America is on Pornhub.
	Trying to find someone for who they are.
	The only way you can find out is seeing them naked.
	And I'm really happy about that.
	I'm glad you said that.
	Are you ready to see some Johnsons?
	I'm so ready.
	I'm so ready.
	I love Johnson's.
	I've got six complete boys.
	I like looking at magazines of just penises.
	I wish I was a urologist.
	We are going to reveal them to you bit by bit.
	Oh, yes.
	Oh, yes.
	Imagine sitting and watching this show at home.
	Sorry, I can't go out.
	watching penis show on physical attraction are you ready definitely ready can we see the bottom half of the bodies please I know.
	I love it.
	It's like Christmas.
	I love looking at pricks.
	So phony.
	This is like when women say they love watching the Super Bowl because they love looking at men's buns.
	Whoa.
	Your foreskin's supposed to be closed around the edge of your penis.
	If the head's peeking out, that's not right.
	Penises.
	So tell me, where your eye is being.
	She's being such a phony.
	Oh, look, I blurred myself.
	Wow.
	I like that one.
	Pretty big.
	Yeah.
	Can you turn it up?
	I can't hear.
	Worried that maybe that's as far as it's going to get.
	That's what I'm saying.
	His hands are twitching.
	That means.
	No.
	Oh, baby.
	This is just the beginning.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Who else do you want to look at?
	I kind of want to go here.
	Wait, what was your problem with that?
	His foreskin wasn't big enough?
	Yeah.
	How do you feel about foreskin?
	Oh, I had an ex-boyfriend who had a really long foreskin.
	Every time he came, it kind of like bubbled up and it was like, but I couldn't take it.
	Okay.
	What?
	Pink.
	What kind of guy do you think is behind the willy?
	He looks very caring.
	I think he would be good at cooking or gardening.
	Quite a bit of a piece of pain.
	What a brutal insult.
	A woman sees your penis and goes, you'll probably make a good little cook.
	See, look, this is how they get scientific and they justify it all.
	Smaller testicles have lower testosterone levels, which suppress a man's urge to mate and re-channels his brain activity towards nurturing and childcare.
	So small balls might mean a bigger, better daddy.
	That just made that whole episode worth it.
	Small bowls might make dad a better man.
	What did she say?
	Dad of the year.
	Less testosterone.
	That's what we're going for in Britain here.
	We want less testosterone, smaller balls.
	If we can't cut them off, we can at least shrink them to little tiny chickpeas.
	That's our ideal.
	And then they'll be more nurturing, more loving, and we can get them in the kitchen making us sandwiches.
	He's got better thighs than me.
	I can see the quads nicely separated.
	So are you into that kind of thing then?
	You like a well-bit built.
	It needs to be because it's like stamina in the bedroom, isn't it?
	Yeah.
	A good few hours.
	So yeah.
	A good few hours?
	Yeah, well, you know, you get a UTI.
	Now, Jesus.
	They're very large.
	We're all urologists now.
	Okay, let's see a different one.
	Why is it important to you?
	Let's move on to the vaginas.
	Now, they'll have straight men looking at vaginas, and they'll also have lesbians looking at vaginas.
	I actually could see lesbians being more shallow than men when it comes to actual genitalia.
	I don't think I've ever heard a man describe a woman's genitalia in a negative or positive way.
	Well, maybe they've mentioned labia.
	Again, it does not come up.
	We're not that shallow as human beings, both sides.
	Gays, I can't speak to gays.
	I don't know.
	Okay, this is pretty.
	So that's a straight dude.
	This is a straight dude looking at vaginas or penises?
	Or penises?
	What do men and women really find physically attractive?
	Wow, this is fantastic.
	And could picking a partner based solely on their natural beauty help us find the one?
	I've never met anybody like this before and I don't know where to look.
	Let's find out.
	Why is everyone nude there?
	Does the contestant have to get nude too?
	This is the hardest decision of my life.
	Oh my god.
	Hardest decision of my life.
	Every naked body has something to offer.
	And as someone who's been cozy with Arthur and Martha, I appreciate the beauty and the best.
	Aren't they ruining sex by making it so clinical?
	Like, I'm not attracted to that woman at all, the way she talks about sex all the time.
	You should blush if you're a lady when you talk about sex.
	It can be totally fake, but at least pretend that you're not constantly dealing with penises all the time.
	All right, jump ahead.
	This is boring.
	Oh, so she's a lesbian.
	Oh, science, nerve-endings, greater sexual pleasure.
	See?
	It's not just gratuitous nudity.
	It's a science show.
	I've got a handful for you, Saf.
	I'd say so.
	That'd be fine, yeah.
	Okay.
	That'd be fine, yeah.
	Yellow.
	I wouldn't want a little rumpy pumpy with those.
	Do you like a girl to have those proper sort of hips yet?
	Really?
	Yeah, I think it's just because it's womanly.
	That's what you expect, I think.
	Well, the hips don't lie.
	A recent study shows women with bigger hips may be more sexually open.
	Moving on.
	Yeah, they don't have a choice.
	It's called desperation.
	The tattoos, very, very sexy.
	Nice boobs again.
	So are the hips sort of wide enough for you?
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm not buying this.
	I'm not buying that lesbians care how wide your hips are.
	Okay.
	I mean, judging by the lesbians I've seen in New York, they're not very shallow people.
	They let you get away with a lot.
	To the girl that at the moment you find least physically attractive...
	I'll take any of those.
	Let me know when you've made it.
	You think that's gross, Ryan?
	No, that's mean.
	Oh, I see.
	Least attractive.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	It's going to have to be green.
	Why, Sapphire?
	Just a tiny bit curvier than I would normally go for, but still perfect boobs.
	Okay, Saff.
	We'd better see who you are saying goodbye to.
	Show her.
	This is Vicki.
	She's 24 and she's a waitress from Manchester.
	She'd be pretty, I knew it.
	Vicky, come and join us.
	Come and look at you.
	Oh, look at her waddle onto the stage.
	This is so cruel.
	Again, the meanest, most sexist fraternity in the world would not do this.
	Feminists, the matriarchy, the left is way more of a big, mean jock than we could ever be.
	I'm actually brutally uncomfortable from this.
	What'd she say?
	Go back.
	Let's see what she said.
	That was really nice and it actually meant for really good.
	Wait, go back.
	They're so empowered.
	Women have a self-esteem problem.
	Too much self-esteem.
	But she said, I thought I looked great and I did a great job being last.
	Oh, you're great already.
	It was quite nice having someone review my body.
	They said I had a nice bump.
	And it actually meant for really good.
	It was quite fun.
	A little bit crazy, but yeah, it was fun.
	Where do they find these people?
	Anyway, sorry, I just thought I would update you on what's going on in the UK and what happens when the left is left to their own devices.
	You know what they do?
	They ruin sex.
	Go ahead.
	You know what I would do if I single and I like to check?
	What?
	Show up at her door or her work or somewhere where she is with flowers and a box of chocolates.
	Flowers, for sure.
	I have a crush on you.
	When was that last done?
	I do that.
	When I first started courting my wife, I made her a mixtape, like a cassette.
	It was probably, this was 2001.
	This was probably the last cassette ever made for a chick.
	But it had a good set list.
	They're bringing back Walkman.
	Really?
	Walkman's re-releasing, yeah.
	But I think it has an MP3 angle to it, which is...
	Yeah, but it could also play tapes.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	That's fun.
	All right, should we catch up on the mail bag after looking at a bunch of mail bags?
	I'm sorry, by the way, 13-year-olds and parents, if you had to see that.
	Wait a minute.
	I don't want 13-year-olds looking at nudity.
	Don't try to frame me saying I encourage.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Google Ads, important updates about the California Consumer Privacy Act.
	Google, you kicked me off AdSense a long ass time ago.
	It's funny, I keep getting these emails from PayPal and Instagram saying they're going to be changing things.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	CK, Gavin, you're undermining your own show by yelling at Ryan.
	Please settle your issues with him off air.
	It is very stressful and unpleasant and mostly unfunny to have to listen to in the middle of your podcast.
	Sounds like me yelling at my belligerent teenage son.
	Total downer.
	Sorry, but true, CLK.
	Now you watch your mouth, CK.
	Shut up, Ryan.
	True.
	I have Stockholm syndrome.
	This is from Zach.
	Hey, Gavin, I've been following you and your content before you're purged, blah, blah, blah.
	I don't normally go out of my way to complain about things, but this was very much in my face.
	I work for GameStop and found this article in the newest edition of the magazine they publish.
	The whole article can be found online, but the picture attached is just more obvious racism.
	According to Matthew Cato, it is in fact okay to consciously avoid hiring white males.
	That's definitely where we are with the DNC.
	If that isn't more racist, I don't know what is.
	Wait, you mean if that isn't racist?
	I need to share this with you, blah, blah, blah.
	And then he sends a clip.
	Brass Lion was created to tell stories you won't get from most studios because it's not set up like most studios.
	Brass Lion wants to actively hire developers of color and other diverse backgrounds, consciously bucking the trend of male whiteness.
	In a country that's 50% male and about 75% white.
	Let's do that in Japan.
	We are bucking the trend of male Japanese men.
	We are trying to hire Sikhs in Tokyo.
	Okay.
	That poor Sikh has like 67 jobs.
	So how does, on your headphones, how does this sound?
	A lot quieter than before.
	It was before it was like, now it's like, it's like, if that was, before was Howard Dean, what he did.
	Yeah.
	And now Velcro Howard Dean, he would, he would be in the race still.
	Wait, you want to be president?
	Well, yeah, I've been in politics a long time.
	I'm a liberal Democrat.
	How do you say yeah?
	If I was super excited, I might go like, yeah.
	Sorry.
	Could have told you that a long time ago.
	You say, yeah, weird.
	And all world leaders have to say yeah, exactly like Lemmy would on stage.
	So bye-bye.
	I swear, mark my words.
	In 10 years, you'll have guys farting on TV.
	Now that'll be embarrassing.
	Fart.
	Fart.
	If oh, fart.
	It's fart.
	Oh, fat.
	Oh, oh.
	Oh, that?
	Yeah, yeah, no, they happen all the time.
	They come out of your butt.
	It's so fart.
	Do it again?
	That is beyond cute.
	Oh, fart.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	He is so serious.
	I had lunch with him today.
	Nice.
	And I said, do you reach Starstruck?
	No, the Mrs. was in the city.
	And we went and had lunch.
	And I told him that I was talking about that on the show.
	And he's old now.
	He's an old man.
	It's a fart.
	He's six.
	You whippersnapper.
	It's a fart, dude.
	And I said, you want to see it?
	And he goes, I don't want to see that.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	I don't watch my own stuff.
	I don't like baby them.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I don't like babies.
	It's like Gary Coleman said.
	I don't like kids.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	Even when I was a kid, I didn't like kids.
	I couldn't relate.
	Arsenio.
	Height-wise, you totally could relate.
	Hey, guys, I thought you'd find it interesting that the creator of a popular superhero comic book says superhero culture is embarrassing.
	Oh, I just can't.
	Please don't send us porn on this site.
	And then he ends with, I like your new sunglasses.
	Watchman creator Alan Moore calls superhero culture embarrassing.
	The continuing popularity of these movies to me suggests some kind of deliberate, self-imposed state of emotional arrest.
	Thank you, sir.
	Thank you.
	Superheroes are for loser seven-year-olds, six-year-olds, not eight-year-olds.
	If you're eight, you need to grow the fuck up.
	If you're eight and you're into Spider-Man and you have a Spider-Man costume, you're a fucking loser.
	It's for seven.
	It's for seven and down.
	And it's for seven-year-olds who feel like they're nothing.
	And they want to imagine a world where no one knows that they secretly have super strength.
	And you know what?
	That's very healthy for a tiny little child.
	That's a very healthy way to deal with a problem in your life.
	It's not very healthy for a fucking 35-year-old.
	He's a fag.
	I wish he was a fag.
	Fag's not an insult anymore.
	Yeah, right.
	Fags build chicken coops and make their own wine and stuff.
	That's a shirt.
	Yeah, and can do a flip.
	A fag can do a flip off a cliff, a backflip, and land it perfectly.
	You wish you could do that.
	You wish you were a fag.
	Yeah.
	That was an insult back when men were super masculine.
	Now it's like fags?
	No, thank you.
	Too many workouts, and they make too much shit.
	They're always like building a business or something.
	I'm more gay than a fag.
	Actually, that last fag I didn't like.
	That was a little too...
	Yeah, I like it when it's ironic.
	That last one was a little too comfortable.
	I hereby withdraw that last use of the word fag.
	We redact it.
	We redact it, if you will.
	Oh my God, this is so perfect.
	Thank you, viewer who sent this letter.
	He went on to discuss how these characters are meant for a 12 or 13-year-old audience.
	A little high, but I get you.
	And the strange turn things have taken with films geared toward adult crowds.
	Thank you.
	Emotional rest combined with a numbing condition of cultural stasis that can be witnessed in comics, movies, popular music, and indeed right across the cultural spectrum.
	Well, I mean, my work is done here.
	And the fact that one of the guys in the industry said that so awesome.
	Alan Moore.
	What is this now?
	Sense of purpose correlated positively with white-collar jobs.
	50 states of purpose, examining sense of purpose.
	Dude, you can't just send me some really complicated study.
	Nobody comes.
	What am I going to do?
	Just read all 30 pages of this, take in the study, and then discuss it on the show?
	Thanks for the homework assignment, dad.
	What are you, Mr. Hond?
	There are pictures.
	Do you know who Mr. Hand is?
	Not from South Park, I'm guessing.
	No.
	Okay, but there is a Mr. Hand in South Park.
	Let me see, Mr. Hand.
	Have you not seen Fast Times at Ridgemount High?
	Oh, you dick.
	I saw it when I was like 14 and loved it.
	Okay, good, good, good.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But I forget everything.
	Jeff Bicoli wastes so much of Mr. Hand's time that on the night of prom, he shows up at his house and says, you've wasted approximately three hours of my time.
	I'm going to get it back.
	And he shows up.
	It's great when he knocks on the door, too, because Jeff Spicoli thinks it's his brother.
	And he goes, I do not hear you unless you knock.
	Which is such a classic big brother thing.
	I know I am a big brother.
	We used to do that.
	We were very strict about knocking.
	In fact, to this day with my daughter's door, I'm always like, knock, knock, knock.
	I know the rules.
	When does he go to his house?
	I don't think the clip's available, but here's a little Mr. Hand.
	Think about it.
	Cuba owned by a disorganized parliament over 4,000 miles away.
	Cubans were in a constant...
	His face alone distracts him.
	Hey, Mr. Hand.
	Cubans were in a constant state of revolt.
	In 1904, the United States decided to throw a little weight around and who is it?
	Mr. Pizza Guy.
	Again?
	Mr. Pizza Guy, sir.
	She's so beautiful in that movie, isn't she?
	Yeah, what's her name again?
	Bay, over here.
	Over here, dude.
	Over here, dude.
	All right, that's enough.
	We could watch that all day.
	Yeah, it was hypnotized just there.
	Last episode, you were discussing how ridiculous the ads on Daily Mail are.
	Well, do you remember Brendan Eich, the Mozilla CEO that was fired for donating to a supposedly homophobic charity?
	You covered the firing on your own show on Compound.
	Yes, I'm obsessed with that firing.
	This guy donated to an allegedly homophobic charity.
	We don't know the context.
	Brendan Eyke, he isn't, but he could be a gay whose dad said, look, I don't want you to get married and I'm against this.
	I know it goes against your religion, but could you just donate to this anti-gay charity or this pro-marriage charity as my last wish?
	And Brendan was like, sure, dad.
	Or I know plenty of gays that are against gay marriage.
	Bruce LeBruce says, why are we trying to become straights?
	We're gay.
	So it could have been that.
	You don't know the impetus.
	You're not in his fucking head.
	But this county couple, this horrible, shitty couple.
	It's Bruce LeBruce.
	Shut him down.
	And then gloated about it years later, wondering how Brendan Ike's doing.
	And Brendan Ike said, well, I'm unemployed, which is what you were going for.
	Find the couple, the gays who shut down Brendan Ike.
	They don't represent homosexuals.
	Homosexuals are generally not political.
	They're sort of like blue-collars in South Brooklyn, or blacks in Harlem.
	They have bigger fish to fry than the nuances of the Huffington Post.
	But there is a contingent of homosexuals, usually ugly.
	They have trouble getting laid, which, as a gay, is shocking.
	If you can't get laid and you're gay, you are a hideous fucking loser who's forced instincts.
	And that's who these guys are.
	And they got him fired and they keep antagonizing him.
	Why don't you just look up guy who got Brendan Ike fired?
	Okay.
	He went on to create the Brave browser.
	Yes, I think I have it on my doohickey down here.
	He went on to create the Brave browser, which is the best browser I've ever used.
	It has AdBlock built in and does a great job of getting around websites that will block you for using AdBlock.
	It's also very fast.
	All right.
	So let me go.
	I guess I have to download it.
	I thought I already did.
	I'm downloading it now, sir.
	And then what we'll do is we'll go to Daily Mail.
	Did you find the guy yet, Ryan?
	Because I have another assignment for you.
	And I know I'm not allowed to chastise you.
	So we'll be very civil as we discuss this.
	I'm looking for a name, a man and a woman.
	All right, give up on that.
	Download Brave and then go to dailymail.uk while I skip to the next letter and we'll come back.
	This one's from Pete.
	Gavin, did you know Jesse Hughes from EODM Equals a Death Metal is probably you?
	I think he's a conservative, too.
	Just wanted to point that out.
	Epstein didn't kill himself.
	Thank you, Pete.
	Again, millennials talking to old people like they know what they are doing.
	I know Jesse Hughes.
	I hung out with him.
	I interviewed him on my old show, wherein I talked to him about the security guards at Batta Clan.
	And I said, he told me about some weird behavior.
	And he said that they're usually really strict if you have a cigarette out back because they don't want people coming in the back.
	But this time, the security guards went past him, opened up the back, looked down both alleys, and then went back in and didn't say a word to him.
	So he noticed strange behavior.
	He posited a theory that the security of Batta Clan were in on the attack.
	And we know that Eagles of Death Metal were attacked by Islamists and they killed something like 89 people in horrible ways.
	They cut off men's genitalia, stuffed it in their mouth.
	They eviscerated pregnant women, pulled out the babies.
	They tortured these people for about 20 minutes before the cops showed up.
	Blood fucking everywhere.
	Maybe it wasn't 20 minutes.
	And just for having that theory, that credible theory, his career was devastated.
	They totally crushed him for doing that.
	Oh, I already had Brave, but now I have Brave Browser.
	Maybe that's a newer one.
	And there was like a big mural in LA that had all these great LA people that are rock stars like what's his name, Elliot Smith and all those dudes.
	And they airbrushed him out of the mural for daring to criticize Islam.
	Can you believe that shit?
	And then I think they had a benefit a year later where YouTube played or something, and they wouldn't let Jesse be a part of it because he had dared to disparage Islam.
	This is a guy who was shot at by terrorists, bullets whizzing past his head.
	Oh, this is taking a long time here.
	I'll have to do that another day.
	Still downloading my Brave Over Here tool?
	Did you ever find the couple?
	No, I did the Brave thing, and now I'm back on it.
	Who had Brendan Ike fired?
	Seems like a lot of people internally came out.
	And then I just click on images, and I scroll down images until I see a gay.
	G. Why are you gay?
	Oh, man.
	Where is it?
	I don't see any gays.
	I know.
	I think they got harassed.
	Apparently, Brendan Ike was this genius coder that we lost because he donated to a charity.
	And did you see that fucking Chick-fil-A has said they won't donate to companies that are perceived?
	It's not anti-gay companies.
	It's companies that are perceived that way.
	Like I saw Rage Against the Machine had a big banner behind them that said Nazi lives don't matter.
	Which sounds okay.
	Like we did kill them in World War II, but it's like, wait a minute, what's your definition of a Nazi?
	Like Kellyanne Conway?
	Should she be shot in the head?
	Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, any of those people I discussed yesterday in the conservative Civil War?
	Oh, I think I may have found it.
	We don't need y'all civil war.
	I didn't find it.
	You got to see these two.
	I'm not going to give up this show until we find them.
	They're really, really unattractive.
	Are they from Mozilla?
	No.
	Or they're just an outraged couple.
	Yeah.
	Outraged couple.
	Gay activist who had Brendan Icke fired?
	Anyway, see if you can dig that up because it's very relevant.
	You know, we keep talking about how this group sucks.
	Like these, and I would actually include a lot of liberals in that.
	There's a lot of sane liberals, but it's this shrill, loud 5%.
	It's the 5% that make you hate the group.
	5% of gays are annoying political assholes that want to make you bake a cake for them.
	The rest are normal and aren't even political.
	All right, this is going on and on forever.
	All right, let's get back to the next letter while you still try to find those gays.
	And we will be using the Brave browser.
	Maybe we'll talk about that tomorrow.
	Ooh, wait, wait.
	As a gay couple who are unable to get married in California until recently, we are morally cannot support a foundation that would leave somebody with hateful views in power.
	Why are you doing it as Dinesh D'Souza?
	No, that is not Dinesh D'Souza.
	This is Dinesh D'Souza.
	You can't do it yet.
	If I were to be a toad.
	Yeah, his Indian accent is like 7%.
	Yeah, that's exactly it, to be fair.
	But look, this might be them.
	So I've found their quote.
	Now I must find them.
	Yes.
	You must find them.
	Maybe there's a tweet.
	Bring them to me.
	Gay, gay couple tweet about Brendan Ike, and then I'll put in response.
	Because he was like, yeah, I'm exactly where you wanted to me.
	Dang it.
	Oh, yeah, and it wasn't just the so those gays started it, but then everyone piled in on him.
	Yeah, that's why it's hard to find.
	It's literally like a hundred people.
	Oh, I found him.
	Uh-oh.
	I got him.
	Bay Area reporter.
	Yeah.
	So it was Rare Bits Michael Lintorn.
	Oh, Catlin.
	I was on the right track.
	Michael Lintorn Catlin and his husband, Rare Bits CEO.
	Oh, I assume they're competition.
	What a coincidence that these gays actually stand to benefit financially from Brendan Eyeke being erased.
	And it says, co-founder Hampton Lintorn Catlin were dismayed to learn that the new Mozilla CEO donated to the Proposition 8 campaign against same-sex marriage.
	By the way, basically every black person in all of California voted against that.
	But I don't see the gays getting up in arms against black Californians.
	I'll send you this link.
	I found it before you, which is a concern.
	Ugh.
	Such ugly fucking losers with such gross, weak clothes.
	Look at the material of his sweatshirt and his weird, tired...
	He's just so lazy.
	He likes me, so.
	Ah, well, it's easier than getting a girl.
	He just blows me and stuff.
	I manage to get sex down to like once a week, and I just get drunk first.
	Anyway, those bastards dared to retweet him like it two years later and say, I wonder how he's doing.
	Sorry, that's a long tangent for, I don't know.
	What?
	Gays are vindictive?
	No, no, the 5% of gays.
	95% of gays are good people.
	Enjoyed this segment on the infighting on the right.
	The only issue I have is that I don't consider a vast portion of the new right as conservative at all, especially if they consistently advocate for social media deplatforming of people they disagree with, but not extremists on the left.
	I agree with you, sir, but I want to see the specifics.
	Like, did Ben Shapiro say, I want Nick Fuentes removed from Twitter?
	Or did he say, it's amazing that these guys are still on Twitter after denying the Holocaust or whatever.
	Can I just say a brief thing about the Holocaust, Duke?
	Yes.
	Let's take the Nazis' best case scenario.
	When I say Nazis, I mean it in the stupid liberal sense of like the modern Holocaust denier alt-right guy.
	So his contention is it was not 6 million, it was 400,000, right?
	By the way, 6 million is not a big slaughter when it comes to socialists and communists.
	Holodomor, Stalin, Mao's got 80 million, 40 million with Stalin.
	We've got some big numbers.
	So 400,000 is very low.
	But anyway, although I think Pol Pot was only 3,000, let's take your scenario where you're defending Nazis, which is a tough argument, folks.
	That scenario still, oh, look, I'm doing this.
	That scenario still has a democratically elected government picking up a religion of people and slaughtering them to the tune of hundreds of thousands.
	Oh, I have heard another version, though, where they say, no, they weren't slaughtered on purpose.
	They were starved to death because they couldn't bring them supplies.
	Whatever.
	To get to the bottom of that and become an expert would take a lot of work.
	And why wouldn't you become an expert on the Great Leap Forward, the Maoist purges or the Stalinist purges?
	It's history.
	It is, but we get to a point where, you know, we've got to move forward.
	Yeah, and also history is being rewritten in real time.
	Right, yeah, there's 90,000 Christians killed a year by Islam.
	This year, that will happen.
	What's that?
	250 a day?
	And let's say every, you know, let's say somebody figures out exactly what happened back then.
	I mean, how does that help now?
	You know, there's plenty you could be paying attention.
	You know, you go to you, when you're in Russia, they talk about the communist purges like, oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
	Yeah, millions of people died.
	Go to China, mouse statues everywhere.
	Didn't he kill 80 million of you?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	The trains ran on time, though.
	Got to break some eggs to make a milkshake.
	That's true.
	I'm not saying that American Jews should treat the Holocaust the way Chinese and Russians do.
	I'm just saying that these alt-right guys that say it wasn't so bad, even their version is really fucking bad.
	All right.
	What's the point in winning elections if these people co-opt the Trump movement, having previously been never Trump and called him alt-right, call for the deportation of Trump supporters?
	If everything they stand for is indistinguishable from the left of 10 years ago, these people advocate for unbridled legal immigration to the point that conservatives will very soon have almost no chance to win elections for the foreseeable future, unless, of course, they move drastically to the left.
	What's your stance on legal immigration?
	Does it really matter if it's by the books?
	Oh, this is the new argument that people are saying, where even legal immigration is out of control.
	I'm fine with legal immigration.
	I think America is already really fucking strict.
	As someone who immigrated here, when you sort of poo-poo it and say that it's fine, I don't think you've tried it.
	It's a fucking chore.
	It cost me $10,000 to get my green card, and I had an H-1B visa.
	I had to update that four times, going to an immigration lawyer every time.
	By the way, I came here and I brought about 20 jobs and then those jobs ballooned to, well, today, thousands of jobs, but when I left, still hundreds of jobs.
	So I was the perfect candidate for an immigrant to America.
	And it was still a fucking whore to get in here.
	If everyone had to go through that, it'd be a much better country.
	Who's to even say if it's possible to make a change?
	Do you think it matters if Europeans become a minority in the U.S.?
	This is the whole demographic argument.
	And I've made it clear, and things could change.
	I mean, I have to be very careful how I speak here because everyone's combing through what I say with a fine-tooth comb.
	Right now, the ideal is that we have visible minorities, all these different ethnic groups that come here, but they assimilate.
	Now, if there's more Balkanization and those groups aren't assimilating, that changes the whole formula.
	But as of, you know, 2019, for the most part, outside of like the Muslims in Somalia and a bunch of Chinatowns, it seems that immigrants, especially second generation, tend to be assimilating.
	Now, I can see that changing.
	In fact, we've seen a lot of radical Muslims be more radical than their parents, like the Sarnev brothers.
	And we're seeing the children of Mexican immigrants be more unilingual than their parents were and less patriotic than their parents are, less likely to carry an American flag.
	So that's a disturbing pattern.
	But until that becomes the norm, I don't give a shit what race you are.
	I'm about ideas, not skin color.
	I heard you say you might consider yourself as more the Charlie Kirk.
	This is probably not the case as far as I can sell.
	And Nick himself was a fan of yours, blah, blah, blah.
	He's talking about Nick Fuentes.
	These people have no issue with you.
	And there's clearly a growing network of acquaintances you share.
	This is a weird thing that's going on, by the way, with these letters.
	I'm getting really pushed to embrace Fuentes.
	And it's reminding me of Charlottesville, where I was getting nagged on a daily basis that I have to go there.
	And if I care about statues, I'll be there.
	It's not racist, and it's not alt-right.
	That's why I haven't asked you to go to the Joker to see the Joker with me more than twice.
	I asked you twice.
	You said, can't do it.
	If I overhype it, then you're going to be like, you know what?
	Fuck the Joker.
	I've heard enough of it.
	No, it's just suspicious.
	Like the way I get, like, why do you want me to be a Nick fan?
	I think Milo's going to have him on the show.
	He'll have a chance to speak his mind.
	We have free speech.
	Take a look at the faces of the new right and think which one of them has supported you.
	We don't want them to go away, and they don't have to be on board.
	We want them to tell the truth and allow a big tent movement.
	It would be awesome to have Nick on at some point with Milo.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.
	This is from Richard.
	In the blind dating, flirty dancing video you ended the show with Tuesday, how did those two blind guys dance so perfectly queer?
	I get it was choreographed, but that was too good for two fairies without sight.
	I think you were so lost in the homosexuality you didn't realize they couldn't see.
	I think you may be misunderstanding the term blind date, Richard.
	Joe Swole, what's up, fellas?
	This letter is like a million words long.
	What's up, fellas?
	Gavin, you talked a lot recently about how those on the right can no longer expect to receive justice in the end, especially the average working-class family man.
	Yes.
	And I'm noticing that juries are all 20-something women.
	And sorry, but if you talk to any lawyer in criminal justice, he'll tell you that when he's choosing a jury, he goes for the lowest IQ possible because they tend to be the most malleable and the most easily influenced.
	And those tend to be chicks, tend to be young single women.
	The jury that put Max and John in jail were prison were, I don't even think they were New Yorkers.
	I think they were Midwestern young girls probably interning at fucking Vanity Fair.
	And they would just come in there with their little pantsuits and go, throw away the key.
	Look at what happened to our boys.
	We're under 10% justifying their actions.
	Even had video evidence showing the truth.
	Had a pretty sick defense team thanks to you and donations, but it didn't matter.
	The media tried them in the court of public opinion.
	Cuomo sick is lackey judge on them.
	A travesty of justice has taken place.
	They have, yeah, they had the sentence before they got those guys.
	And the same with Dinesh D'Souza, and the same with Roger Stone, and the same with Nasla Bakuli Nasla, who did the Muhammad video.
	They have the sentence ready, and they just work backwards.
	It's called malicious persecution.
	And it's becoming the norm in our courts, especially when someone is pro-Trump.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	So he's telling me stuff I know.
	Media's providing them cover.
	Where the fuck are the Republicans?
	I agree with you.
	Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.
	Yeah, okay.
	I'm not going to read that.
	It's just me.
	That guy's just saying me.
	Hey, Uncle G. This is from Dave.
	Not sure if you heard Clavin's show from Monday.
	How would I have time to listen to Andrew Clavin?
	I can barely get through free speech get caught up on Biggs and Milo and Soph and then Tucker and everything.
	He mentioned the Proud Boys fighting and said, it doesn't matter which street brawler wins because the street brawlers are always essentially fascist.
	That is a fascist way of putting forward your political ideas.
	Jesus Christ, Claven.
	They weren't out there looking for a fight.
	They were attacked.
	The Proud Boys crime is they are the only ones, outside of maybe Patriot Prayer and few others, War vet guys, what are they called?
	Red Elephants or whatever.
	They're the only ones willing to fight back.
	The key is back.
	Antifa's different.
	Antifa goes there and starts violence.
	This is a pussy.
	Andrew Clavin is a pussy who has never been in a fight, talking about street fights like he knows what he's talking about.
	He might as well be talking about threesomes.
	Fucking loser.
	And having hair.
	Having hair, yeah.
	Why don't you tell us, why don't you do, Andrew, hey, Andrew Clavin, why don't you do a whole show on hair products?
	That's about as helpful as you are when it comes to fascist street brawlers.
	Imagine he emails you back.
	Actually, I have a lot of pubes.
	Get your nose out of a book, you cunt.
	I don't give a shit about your club, but I do think it's weird that you and the Shapiro crew never address each other directly.
	Instead, you say, oh, we should be on the same page, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	And he only mentions you tangentially as less horrible than Milo.
	That was a Ben Shapiro quote.
	Have you invited any of these guys on your show?
	Yes, I had Michael J. Knowles on my show.
	I've been on Crowder with Claven.
	Have you invited, yeah, you should at least be able to defend yourself when it comes to this stuff or go on their show so you can launder your Nazi image?
	I've heard some people ask you that Fuentes.
	Jesus fucking Christ.
	Shapiro dudes are actually influential and you guys need to work your situation out.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	No, those guys won't go near me.
	I'm Nick Fuentes to Andrew Clavin.
	I like you less than a friend and Amy Schumer is not even close to a six, you dumb shit.
	And he signed it David Cross.
	Okay.
	This is like when Milo, when I was talking about a show with Milo, I said, okay, let me think about it.
	I mean, can you use, because it has to pay for itself.
	You're a very expensive guy, Milo.
	So I'd need X amount of subscribers for it to turn a profit.
	It's not a charity here.
	But let me think about it and we'll see what happens.
	And it has been very beneficial, by the way.
	Milo's show more than pays for itself.
	But then that night on Telegram and through email, I got, I'd say, about 70 emails from midnight to about 3 a.m. saying, you know, you should consider Milo getting a show.
	And he's clearly sick his minions on me.
	And that's clearly what's happening with Fuentes here.
	It's so fucking obvious.
	They're basically bots.
	Bots.
	Bots.
	If I was to say I'm a toad.
	Well, if I was to take a toad and I was to throw it into a lake and it swam.
	Into a lake.
	I'm working on it.
	We're editing the Dinesh D'Souza, Michael Shermer debate, so we have all these Dinesh Dineshisms in our head.
	Make sure you got my good side.
	He talks like a foreign language person who is the best at English in the world.
	Like he wins all kinds of prizes for perfect English.
	I love Dinesh.
	I'm not disparaging him.
	No, he's awesome.
	This episode is going to rock.
	Gavin, thanks for the segment on the Civil War between the trad right and the new right.
	I'm with you.
	I think this is a distraction.
	Not a good look.
	Thank you.
	We have bigger fish to fry.
	The left.
	Why can't everyone on the right just get along?
	Rachel, that made me sexually attracted to you, Rachel.
	That's how much of a feminist I am.
	I get sexually turned on by a woman's intelligence.
	That's true.
	I love video drops.
	Sold.
	I'm officially sold.
	Speaking.
	How is that spooky?
	I don't know where that man came from, but that's his opinion.
	Okay, where are we here?
	You guys are fags for watching the gayest video on the planet.
	Touche.
	Anthony Hervey, a black pro-Confederate flag activist author, killed in 2015 under strange circumstances.
	Huh.
	Why I Wave the Confederate Flag by Anthony Hervey.
	Okay, that's nice.
	Good to know.
	Okay, this is the last.
	Should this be the last one?
	Yeah, probably.
	Ben, this is from Ben.
	I'll always say your first names, folks.
	I don't want you to get fired for watching a show.
	Lads, this message comes in a time of desperation.
	Several nights ago, after an evening of bourbon drinking, which I can no longer do, I climbed in bed with my fiancé.
	I tossed and turned all night, which brewed a bourbon shitstorm inside of my lower intestine.
	Been there.
	This shitstorm was so powerful, it escaped from my anal lips without a moment's notice.
	Sounds like this guy literally shit the bed.
	Sounding like it, yep.
	I've shit the bed before.
	Not a lot.
	It is a disaster.
	It is.
	It was like less than a thimble of diarrhea.
	Oh, my God.
	But you have to freak out.
	You have to freak out and start scrubbing away.
	I would recommend if you get like a shard on your sheets and you're on vacation or something, sacrifice your toothbrush.
	Wow.
	Get some soap on it.
	Rub it on the, and then rub it on the thing.
	Put it in the toilet or in the sink in the hot water.
	Rub, rub, rub.
	You don't have a toothbrush anymore.
	Okay, fine.
	Shard on your sheets.
	Number one.
	It's a portable brush.
	Number two, be sure to throw that in the garbage.
	Say goodbye to that toothbrush forever.
	Yeah.
	Don't think about repurposing it.
	The release was so cacophonous that it woke my fiancé and myself from a post-party slumber.
	I know this because she broke out in laughter and was laughing so hard, the mattress began to bounce me as I sat in a curled ball of shame on my side of the mattress, shedding one single man tear.
	Is it possible to mend the bond which has been broken?
	How can I ever regain my strength, trust, and confidence in my beehole?
	I have an idea.
	I like you more than a friend, Ben.
	Ben, there's no turning back.
	Well, this is what you tell her.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Just tell her, fart.
	Now I have to watch that 300 times.
	Let me fill you in on farts.
	Isn't that, you created something that would say, it's a fart.
	I miss babies.
	I want to have another baby.
	Is that you making yourself laugh, technically?
	No.
	Weird.
	All right.
	The show is over.
	Sorry.
	We had a fun time, but you'll be very happy to hear that I have a final video that perfectly sums up the theme of today's show, which is Love Your Body.
	This is a bizarre European art group who wants children to be okay with touching themselves or something.
	And so they've made a video on a shitty song that reminds me of, what are they called?
	Extinction Rebellion.
	Those weird art fags that jump around.
	It reminds me of that.
	it's kind of a good example of how depraved liberal society is and how they ruin everything they touch including sex.
	Imagine these people talking about economics.
	What should the capital gains tax be, guys?
	How do you feel about the estate tax?
	Turn it up.
	What's she saying?
	I love to play with my friends.
	Don't forget to ask friends.
	Sometimes we want to play by ourselves.
	So just pause.
	The message so far is it's fun to have sex with people, but you have to ask first.
	And then it's okay to masturbate.
	Who is this geared towards?
	Hey, little kids, it's not okay to have sex with your friends.
	No.
	Don't have sex until your late Teens.
	No sex before that.
	I guess you can play with yourself, sure.
	But we don't want to hear about it.
	Keep it to yourself.
	I just want to play by myself now.
	She just wants to play by herself now.
	Who's this for?
	I respect that.
	That's right.
	Who doesn't respect that a woman wants to touch her vagina?
	True.
	Can't you imagine dating her?
	I kill myself.
	Would you like to come in?
	Really?
	Heaven yes.
	Sure.
	She's going into a vagina.
	I haven't seen this far into it.
	That man, giant black gay man, has a is a vagina.
	Anyone can be a vagina in my world.
	This video should be called Brexit.
	Leave Europe now.
	It's a lost cause.
	What are they doing now?
	Man, there's reflective linoleum in her vagina?
	Yeah, say what you want about this video.
	They nailed the interior vagina thing.
	Are you trying to tell me that childbirth is wonderful?
	Because you're the one killing the babies.
	Turning in here.
	Would you like to come in, too?
	You don't have a vagina, dude.
	I'm not ready yet.
	Mm-hmm.
	Whenever you're ready, baby, own your body.
	This is a pedophile video.
	Yeah, this is age play.
	Like, it's not directed to 17-year-olds.
	Maybe it's an acid video.
	It's made for drugs.
	To get people on drugs horny or something.
	Or it's a parody of children videos?
	Maybe.
	Oh, God.
	Imagine you were on Acid.
	Watching this on Acid.
	That would be the end of your life.
	Or DMT.
	What is that, the labia?
	Yeah.
	If you're interested in childbirth, become Catholic and get married.
	Can we cleanse the palate after this?
	No.
	Oh.
	Do you have a palate cleanser?
	Yes.
	It's just a picture, but it has something to do with a toad.
	Okay.
	What are they doing now?
	Oh, it's almost working out in the vagina?
	Hey, man, you're looking pretty ripped.
	Yeah, I've been going into this old black guy's vagina that's in a fourth dimension, and he's got an awesome weight set in there.
	But I'm mostly doing lats.
	Europe, what have you done to yourself?
	Maybe we need another World War.
	This is the longest six-minute video ever.
	This takes six minutes.
	No, hey, it feels like...
	I don't know, but of course there's Underarm here.
	Is that a green screen?
	Yeah.
	Wait, is it?
	Turn it up.
	I don't think it is.
	And when you leave, you'll have so much strength and so much.
	This is AOC.
	This is Rashida Tlaib.
	This is Elhan Omar.
	This is the world that they want America to become.
	Hello, I was just in a black man's vagina.
	Oh, you look buffed.
	They have credits, too.
	Is this a kid show?
	I don't know.
	Baby, love your body.
	Franny Sosa.
	That's the main one.
	It can't be.
	Well, it's definitely not directed to adults.
	Yeah.
	The school of no big deal.
	I thought that would be a funny way to end the show, but you're right.
	I feel dirty.
	Yeah.
	We need a palette cleanser.
	Well, just like a toad jumps into a lake.
	Wait a minute.
	I got a good palette cleanser.
	We'll show yours too.
	Okay.
	Should we go to yours first?
	Yeah, it's a letter we got, or some guy was like, "Oh, you think...
	Wait till you see this chick.
	And then he sent me...
	Sorry.
	It is okay.
	Maybe I will look here and I will put in Simmons.
	Oh, here we go.
	I'll forward it to you now.
	Okay.
	It's a palette cleanser.
	It's a jolly fish.
	You know what that's from?
	That's a you and your wife inside joke.
	That's the movie Rushmore.
	Bill Murray sees this girl painting a jellyfish, and he goes, what's that?
	And she goes, oh, it's a jolly fish.
	And then my wife says that all the time, it's a jolly fish.
	And then I watch the clip and she's like, oh, oh, that's a jellyfish.
	Oh, is this it?
	It's a jellyfish.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's a jellyfish.
	And my wife would convince me that it was, ah, it's a jolly fish.
	The game and telephone is often better.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	I like hers better than that.
	So what do you got?
	Oh, okay.
	Well, a man makes little toad hats.
	This toad keeps coming to his backyard, so he starts making some little hats for him.
	And then just look at these little galleries.
	There you go.
	That's your idea of a palette cleanser?
	Just look at them.
	These have got a little lasso, a little cowboy.
	All right.
	So.
	That's the worst palette cleanser ever.
	You are a 75.
	You know that old lady that was on the stairs that we accused of using derogatory terms to her son or grandson?
	I'm the term that you're that woman.
	No, no, you're the old lady.
	Wow.
	Oh, there was a little frog.
	You've no idea.
	You thought that was a palette cleanser?
	No, no, no.
	I was dirtying the palette so that way yours is a palette cleanser.
	Oh, in that case, great job.
	Yeah.
	You did a really good job.
	You made the palette way dirtier with that stupid fucking old lady shit.
	Classic mix-up.
	Excellent work.
	Now I want to show you a real palette cleanser.
	So we got a letter from a guy.
	I didn't get it.
	Jeff.
	I didn't get it.
	And he said, we were talking on an earlier episode about how hot Gene Simmons' daughter is.
	And he goes, The Simmons girl has a gorgeous ass, but Bob Weir of The Grateful Dead, this might be another Jew, broad.
	His daughter should give, I emailed this to you, Ryan.
	His daughter should give all men a coconut smasher.
	I didn't get it yet.
	Really?
	Yep.
	Oh, man.
	Ryan at Oh, okay.
	different email.
	Different email.
	Oh, whoa, I'm seeing some smashers.
	I'll say an 8.7.
	Would love to hear you guys and Ryan's take.
	So I see two pictures here.
	Let's assume those tits are real.
	Although, young girls are getting boob jobs, like 22 years old now, which is heartbreaking.
	It's like a black guy getting a penis extension.
	What are you doing?
	You're going to have a fucking parking meter down there if you're not careful.
	But let's assume those are real tits.
	What do you think of that?
	You know young people better than me, Ryan.
	What do I say that is total?
	No, no, no.
	Do you think those tits are real?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	She's what, 24?
	They're being propped up.
	She's not going to get fake tits at that age.
	Please, God, tell me that girls in their 20s are not getting tons of boob jobs.
	But then this next one.
	What the fuck is that?
	It's pretty cool.
	That is something else.
	Can we zoom in on her?
	Yep.
	I think Jubrods might be my new favorite brunette.
	They're literally great, frankly.
	They're literally great.
	Isn't it funny how a man can make that?
	Dude, what's in your dick?
	Wait, that is weird.
	Magic crystals?
	Is your cum made of unicorn barf?
	How did you do this?
	This is going to sound gay, but can I suck your dick?
	There's something magical about it.
	Sorry, young people who watch the show.
	I couldn't resist making that disgusting.
	Or two older people.
	So, Ryan, this is a part of the show where you Google image Bob Wise's daughter.
	Weird.
	W-E-I-R.
	Sure is.
	And then we image that, and then we go through it to cleanse the palate from all this disgusting.
	What a disgusting show it's been.
	We spent like an hour and a half inside of the left sex life, and I need a shower.
	Yeah, we are gross.
	I need to take my diarrhea toothbrush.
	Look at those boobs.
	Okay, so this is where you start getting serious, and you need to put a number on it.
	Oh, wait.
	I'm sorry.
	It's way too zoomed in.
	Those look kind of fake, dude.
	Which would be silly.
	The inner chest does look fake.
	The outer area, no.
	There's no reason why it would be.
	Although maybe that's what fake boobs are trying to be.
	Oh, I see.
	You will.
	Oh, my lord.
	What a fucking smoke show.
	She kind of knows it too.
	She's like, yeah.
	Yeah, I know.
	I'm amazing.
	You'll fit, but you know it.
	The streets.
	I'm going to give her.
	The writer who sent in this discovery says 8.7.
	Let's see that picture of her.
	You got me covering her.
	Okay.
	Wait.
	I'm trying to re-Google her.
	Her name is Monet Weir.
	I think, and I never say this.
	This is groundbreaking.
	You may want to mark this day in history.
	What's the day?
	November 20th, Wednesday, 2019.
	Yes.
	I'm going to say 9.
	Wow.
	I don't know.
	Really?
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop farting.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop farting.
	All right, we couldn't get to this during the show.
	We had to install Brave.
	So we got DuckDuckGo as our fucking provider, our search engine.
	We have Brave as our browser, Brave Browser, the new one by Brendan I. Now, I'm going to go to dailymail.uk, which is the worst.
	It's idiocracy levels of ads.
	Let's see what happens.
	Wow.
	Look how awesome that is.
	Daily Mail wants us to show notifications.
	Block.
	There we go, dude.
	Weird.
	Thank you, viewer.
	We officially switch.
	We officially switch to Brave.
	This is awesome.

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