Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #21 HIGHLIGHTS

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Nov. 14, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:17:19

GOML LIVE #21 HIGHLIGHTS

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Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McInnis.
	Get Off My Lawn Little late on the pause.
	The end is nigh.
	The end is nigh.
	Soon this will all disappear.
	This channel will be gone.
	There will be nothing left.
	No records of what has been done.
	No influence remains until December 10th.
	But before we talk about that, let's talk about JohnnyAppleCBD.com.
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	Make no mistake.
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	That's jacbd.com.
	Go there, get some amazing CBD products, and use the code GAVIN to support free speech and free speech business.
	It's true, frankly.
	Great products.
	We love Johnny Apple, don't we?
	We love Johnny Apple.
	No, but seriously, folks, the end is nigh.
	I am here to warn thee of an imminent apocalypse.
	Come follow me to the future, to the month of December, for winter is coming.
	Music The end is nigh.
	On December 10th, the YouTubes begin the great purge of all the right and the wrong dominates the cybersphere.
	We will be banished to the tundra, forced underground, like the little hamster mammals after dinosaurs who burrowed and furrowed and ate, I guess, little dirt beans for millennia until they were able to emerge again, perhaps after the great leader's second term and could breathe again.
	But I'm warning you right before the purge that we will be sent underground beneath the snow.
	And why?
	Why will the right be sent to darkness?
	Because very recently, after being banished to only the computer medias, we still maintained influence using the truth, using free speech, open forums, using discussions, using our memes.
	For man is not just genes.
	Man is memes.
	Man tells stories.
	Man says, beware of that thing.
	And another man now has his experience.
	No other animal can do such a thing.
	They make their silly sounds in trees and the ooh and the ah.
	But man can articulate.
	And that gives each individual man power.
	The elites can't have the individual man with power.
	So they banish his voice.
	And they banish him underground.
	Where he stays.
	But he does not rot underground.
	He sees.
	He grows like a seed.
	And eventually, he emerges from the ground.
	Strong like an oak.
	Strong where he can no longer be banished.
	But that's in the future.
	Right now, the end is nigh.
	December 10th, the YouTubes will clean the right from the table.
	Banish them all.
	And then, the Googles will say, are thee profitable to the elites?
	No!
	Then banish thy Google account.
	Then thy photos are gone.
	The cloud rains down terror upon the people.
	And those who do not admonish the elites.
	Those who do not buy the narrative, they're gone.
	Gone from the eyes of Big Brother, but not truly gone.
	So I'm warning you in advance.
	Batten hatches.
	Store your beans.
	For you must burrow, my friend.
	You must burrow deep.
	For we will survive this and we will emerge stronger.
	But a great storm is coming.
	A storm to beat all storms!
	Dramatic music
	I'm one of these people.
	I'm one of these people who doesn't like geez.
	I was trying to be a scary witch, but I realized I'm just Billy Connolly.
	See, use people.
	Hanging's too good for you.
	Oh, hey, Jummy!
	Gonna give us 10 guitars!
	Does the mic go crackle when I do that?
	A little bit.
	A little bit?
	A little bit.
	Not gonna lie.
	Wait, who was that?
	George W. Bush?
	Not gonna do it.
	They're not gonna do it.
	It's George Sr., right?
	Right.
	Not George Bush.
	Very different sounding voices for a father and a son.
	But both odd.
	Now I'm gonna go from an Eva Witch.
	By the way, I went to the Halloween store to get a witch nose.
	And there was a big bucket, 75% off.
	Not the Halloween store, drugstore.
	But they didn't have a fucking witch nose.
	But they had this.
	And they had a bunch of cool masks.
	Go to CVS right now, folks.
	And you can get a lot of cool shit for sheep.
	Or Dwayne Reid.
	Or Dwayne Reid, the richest black man in America.
	That's a Sarah Silverman Joker store.
	I'm dressed like Don Cherry to commemorate Don Cherry for losing his job after 38 years.
	Because what did he say?
	He said, wear a fucking poppy, okay?
	Thousands upon thousands of Canadians died in World War I in the poppy fields in Europe.
	Went overseas, died.
	It's not like it's a modern war.
	So just wear a poppy, you people.
	And when he said you people, he meant metropolitan types in Toronto and Mississauga.
	He did mean immigrants.
	He can pretend he just meant anyone.
	But he was focused on what they call new Canadians.
	And he meant immigrants.
	And that's not even insulting to immigrants.
	No.
	Like, say you were in Japan and you said, hey, if you just came here, take your shoes off when you come inside, okay, you people?
	But lost his job.
	Now, I don't keep up with Canadian television, but I saw this clip.
	Are we going to get in trouble?
	By the way, just sorry, I should go back about 10 steps.
	The holy end is nigh.
	That witch bitch, that woman who I was just being, was saying that on December 10th, YouTube has announced new terms and conditions.
	And they've been sort of the last to purge the right.
	And I think they're saying, yeah, we're giving up.
	We don't want you to have a voice either.
	So I guarantee you I'll be gone.
	But I also think every other conservative will be gone.
	And young Ryan here, who I should point out is almost always wrong, says that that may also close your Google account.
	And then you lose all your pictures and videos from the cloud.
	So I would be backing up all your baby photos if they're on the cloud.
	If you're conservative.
	If you're liberal, you're good.
	We're winning, though, according to The Daily Show.
	White males are winning.
	Trump's winning.
	Conservatives are winning.
	Republicans, we're all winning.
	Jim Goad said that after Trump won, or not long ago, actually.
	He said, can you believe we won?
	Sure doesn't feel like it.
	I'm at the point now where I'm sort of like, if we give you AOC, the White House, will you fuck off?
	Will you leave us alone?
	Jesus Christ.
	What a mess this country has become.
	What a fucking mess.
	And it's not Trump.
	It's you crybabies reacting to Trump.
	That's really the problem.
	It's like a bunch of kids screaming because it's bedtime and they blame the parents because it's the parents who said it was bedtime.
	It's not the parents.
	Bedtime happens.
	Bedtime's good for you.
	Jobs are good for you.
	The economy's good for you.
	Oh, that's just Obama's coattails.
	All right.
	What is the problem?
	Transphobia.
	Mass killings.
	No, the war here is the war on masculinity.
	And that's why they hate Don Cherry.
	He's basically an Archie Bunker type sexist.
	And they don't like that.
	They don't like hockey, this new Canadian.
	And I saw this show called The Social.
	I guess it's Canada's The View.
	And they were talking about it.
	We'll probably get a strike for showing this.
	They chopped the ists part of the title off?
	Dude, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the undertone.
	Yeah.
	Probably, right?
	So show this.
	I think she introduces a story first, which is a little redundant.
	So I want to get to this chick next to her.
	I think she's sort of the, you know the Roseanne, the chick that's on the view, the really ugly lesbian?
	I don't watch.
	I don't know which one you're talking about.
	On the view, there's the girl from the Roseanne show who threw her under the bus when all that shit hit the fans.
	Oh, the skinny one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	She was on the show.
	Yep.
	Okay, I know you're.
	So I think this is the Canadian version.
	We're like the Soviets.
	Everything America makes, we have a duplicate of.
	But her little diatribe about Don Cherry was incredibly telling.
	She accidentally peeled back the curtain.
	Not her.
	Let her talk, but jump ahead of her.
	That one.
	Backing down from the words that God is.
	I love his coffers, man.
	That is wild.
	So in an interview with Toronto radio station News Talk 1010, Cherry said he could have stayed on, but he won't take back his comments about New Canadians.
	Look at that school mom look she has.
	Isn't it look?
	I'm not talking about her with the air quotes.
	Look at the other one.
	This is really what American, what the Western politics, the culture has become.
	It's become a scolding from a school teacher for being a bad boy.
	And the justice system, too.
	That's all bad boys.
	We've got two bad boys in prison for four years.
	People not wearing poppies.
	And so we're going to dive into the question why this has caused a firestorm across the country.
	This has hit a nerve.
	I've got to go to the bottom.
	She can't wait to go.
	Or on the other one.
	The one in the green.
	She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wait till I do my thing.
	I wrote it all out.
	I read it this morning twice.
	Come on.
	Shut up, you fucking makeup-faced bitch who didn't invite me to the cool parties in high school.
	I hate you.
	She's listening for her cue for her line.
	Hurry up, Bimbo.
	Yeah.
	We think this is.
	I think it struck a nerve because I'm told he's a Canadian icon and he's a symbol of the great sport of hockey, which is the sport that unites us across this country.
	And that narrative is the one that strikes a nerve with me because I don't.
	What narrative?
	What narrative?
	That Canadians love hockey?
	It's cold there.
	Russians love hockey too.
	What is the and that he's a Canadian icon?
	Go look up icon in the dictionary.
	There's Don Cherry housing estates.
	We've been watching them since we were little kids.
	38 years.
	I'm ancient and I can't remember a Canada without Don Cherry.
	I must have been like six years old.
	From one flub through 38 years of you people.
	Yeah, he didn't.
	Look, if immigrants are a thing and you can talk about how much they improve our lives, you can say good things.
	Can you also notice a negative pattern?
	And there is a negative pattern there.
	They tend not to wear poppies.
	Worship at the altar of hockey.
	I never have.
	And maybe it's because of where I grew up, but there's a, and going to a couple different universities, there's a certain type of person in my mind, in my experience, who does.
	And they all tended to be white boys who weren't.
	She grew up in Canada, and she noticed there was a certain type of boy, a white boy.
	White boy.
	Like imagine saying white boy in Canada.
	And she's talking about her youth, right?
	Although she jumped up to university.
	So let's say we're talking about like 1992.
	Sorry that in a predominantly white country like Canada, you found that a lot of the fans were white boys.
	Yeah.
	This long hair white boy.
	This long-haired girl I knew?
	It's just an unnecessary adjective.
	Yeah, there wasn't a lot of giant Afro black women playing hockey or enjoying it when I grew up in fucking Canada.
	White boy.
	Very nice.
	They were not generally thoughtful.
	They were often bullies.
	Their parents were able to afford to put them, you know, spend $5,000 a year on minor hockey instead of $5,000, a lot of money.
	You could do other things besides spending your time in the arena.
	You can go.
	You catching any of this?
	Is she a meth?
	I hadn't watched this that closely before.
	Yes, hockey equipment's expensive, but hockey is so ingrained in Canadian culture that there's swap meets and there's a million ways to get it for cheap.
	There's hand-me-downs.
	The equipment abounds.
	You can get the state-of-the-art stuff, but they're bullies.
	This is why I'm playing this clip, though, because her beef isn't with Don Cherry and you people.
	This is all about revenge.
	The imminent purge of YouTube, it's all about revenge.
	I don't like the jocks.
	It's all revenge of the nerds.
	That's what this is about.
	And here is a nerd blowing their cover.
	You think she's a nerd?
	Yeah.
	What makes you say that?
	And by the way, if they're all bullies, who are you going to bully?
	They're just bullying each other?
	Yeah.
	Well, then I guess there's no bullies then.
	Silly lady.
	Go on a trip and learn about the world?
	see other things, eh?
	You know, like it's, the place is a...
	So let me just get this straight.
	Hockey fans are a bunch of white boys who haven't traveled, and they should have used that money that their parents spent on their equipment to go and see the world.
	That's why she went on her little Europe trip so she could brag about Vienna.
	She's bragging.
	Never got the Vienna sausage, and now she's mad.
	Don Cherry is the walking and talking representative of that type.
	And he's a type of person that now people want to like, and I know he's done some good things, but at the same time, when someone good is also able to make fun of people who believe in climate science, who's also able to be like, he's able to make fun of people that believe in climate science.
	You shouldn't be able to make fun of them.
	This is their world.
	No being able.
	This is the post-December 10th world.
	Please sign up for free speech.tv because we are going underground like those little mammals after the ice age who are the reason we're here.
	You know what I didn't realize?
	Some mammals didn't go underground.
	Bears, a horse, the Arctic squirrel.
	Imagine a horse underground.
	That's pretty cool.
	They tried to go underground.
	It was really uncomfortable.
	We went underground like so many mammals.
	It took me like three months just to build a seven-foot area that I could get into.
	And then even then, the cold was still coming in.
	He's bummed out.
	Just a bummed horse.
	Whether he's charming or not, but he's still a bigot and a misogynist when you're losing.
	And a misogynist.
	You have those two things.
	Like, I dismiss those people.
	I dismiss those people.
	Look at that cuck.
	What is happening there?
	Look at that guy.
	This is a crazy looking thing.
	And look at her.
	Wait, this is a great part of the video.
	She doesn't appreciate him.
	See, this is what women make these men, these plasticine donkeys, these losers.
	And they go, what have I created?
	I want to get fucked.
	And I've made my husband into a weird little earthworm in a woman's blouse.
	And you can see when he claps and goes, I'm doing it, honey.
	And what are you even going to her?
	Why are you joining her at a talk show?
	Hey, honey, you want to come see The View with me?
	I'd rather die.
	I mean, I might go there as a joke, but to honestly go to The View with your wife and look how disappointed she is in what she created.
	Yeah, she's too busy watching actual testosterone in front of her from the green shirt.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wow.
	Shut the fuck up, you loser.
	I'm listening to a real man talk.
	This guy.
	I could see that again.
	Yeah, it's pretty telling.
	I find it interesting.
	She's right.
	Yeah, what the fuck is that?
	And why does he look at her for approval?
	I'm clapping.
	That's so true.
	I hate those type of people too.
	Sexists and bigots and those old men.
	I hate how old men aren't modern.
	Right, honey?
	Look at him.
	That's all of two seconds, and it's the most telling thing I've ever seen.
	If you're going to be such a pussy and such a cuck, your wife should at least have some tits.
	Look at her disappointing face and look at him like, look at all of their faces, dude.
	What is next to them, dude?
	What have we wrought?
	They're dressed like.
	Oh my god, I gotta send that picture to China and have them make an oil painting of it.
	It's much more affordable when you send it to China.
	Look at these faces.
	Look at his face.
	Bad boy, Don Cherry.
	Naughty boy.
	Wow.
	He's like very bad.
	The guy's face is like, that did not work.
	We're living in nanny culture where we all need a timeout.
	That's a guy.
	I'm sorry.
	What'd you say?
	That's a guy, right?
	The one in the pink?
	No, that's just an ugly person.
	I believe that's a man.
	Really?
	There's an Adam's apple there.
	Look at the face.
	Look at the structure.
	That's a guy.
	Shouldn't be so controversial, should it?
	No.
	Like a country.
	We shouldn't have to be constantly sitting here.
	Everyone's become so androgynous that we have to constantly sit there and wonder who someone is.
	And you know who that must suck for?
	Slightly masculine-looking women.
	10 years ago, if you were a tall woman with a strong chin and maybe you were cursed with broad shoulders, which is rough.
	That's not a deal breaker, but it's rough.
	People just go, that's a masculine woman.
	Now, I assume everyone assumes you're a dude.
	That must be embarrassing.
	All right.
	This is a unique show.
	I guess people who just listen to the podcast are probably bummed because I used to just come up with a philosophical concept.
	Like, say, when was Archie Bunker born?
	And then that would just be the whole show.
	Because first you have to define who Archie Bunker is.
	Is it the character?
	Is it the guy who played Archie Bunker?
	Is it Norman Lear?
	Is it Norman Lear's concept?
	You know, Brain Games.
	Wait, now I want to play that.
	Brain Games.
	Welcome back to Brain Games.
	Today we're going to be talking about when Archie Bunker was born.
	And I think it's important that we start out with the character, Archie Bunker.
	Clearly, Norman Lear, who came up with the concept, didn't come up with Archie Bunker when he was five years old.
	So let's focus on the character.
	Now, Archie Bunker was a show from the 70s, I believe, that was created in reaction to what Norman Lear saw was an impending right-wing movement that sought to recreate Nazi Germany.
	There was a radio announcer that he heard at the time, I believe it was popular in New York, who was anti-Semitic, anti-immigration, very right-wing.
	I actually think, was that the guy who was shot?
	I don't know.
	I remember I couldn't find this.
	Yeah, it's really hard to find.
	But I remember Norman Lear saying this, so he thought, I have to stop the appeal of charming right-wingers.
	I bet if we looked up this guy, he wouldn't be an anti-Semite or a racist.
	He would just be like a normal conservative.
	But we're hearing him through Norman Lear's ears, which is like Rob Reiner, Meathead's ears.
	Question everything.
	So anyway, you could say Archie Bunker was born when Norman Lear first heard that radio show, that offensive radio show, or maybe he was born like in the second season.
	Because in the first season, Norman Lear said, I'm going to make this guy evil.
	Everyone's going to hate him.
	And then there'll be this super cool dude named Meathead that everyone will love.
	But most people know that Americans aren't really racist or sexist.
	They may say some unfortunate jokes or something.
	But deep down, that's a tiny sliver of the American public.
	And the Don Cherries of the world, the Archie Bunkers of the world, they're just old-fashioned.
	And they have a good heart at the end of the day.
	They kiss Sammy Davis Jr.
	And when the Klan shows up in Queens, they kick him out.
	So he started out the show trying to make you hate Och.
	America loved him.
	By the second season, Norman Lear just said, I'm getting a good paycheck.
	Fine, fuck it.
	I failed.
	And he's doing a new Archie Bunker.
	Remember, they tried to recreated it?
	Justin Thoreau and Jimmy Kimmel got together and just made Archie Bunker again with Woody Harlson.
	That was the weirdest little experiment, and it had zero impact.
	Yeah.
	The talk of that whole thing was that Jamie Foxx broke character.
	Yeah, that was the only takeaway.
	Here's what's going on in America right now, folks.
	What's he doing?
	Oh.
	$260 a year.
	That's all.
	Oh, he's miming taste.
	He's miming suicide.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He's taking a bottle of pills because she's so boring.
	This really reminds me of my great-grandfather.
	My Greek grandfather.
	He would do things like that.
	We would just open it.
	Kimo, you're Puerto Rican, so your great-grandfather was like 52 years old.
	He was Greek.
	Oh, Greek grandfather.
	Great-Greek grandfather.
	Great Greek grandfather.
	Was he also a rural juror?
	He was Norman Lear's Ears, too.
	Welcome back to Norman Lear's Ears, where we hear everything through.
	Actually, America has become Norman Lear's Ears.
	But here's what's going on in America.
	The left has become 100% about power.
	They're Bolsheviks.
	And they will do whatever it takes.
	It's sort of like the jihadists with Takia, right?
	The jihadists say, if you're fighting jihad, you can eat pork, you can have sex with boys, whatever you want.
	Wait, I shouldn't say that.
	We're going to get banned.
	There seems to be a tolerance to bizarre sexual proclivities with jihadist warriors.
	Can I say that?
	The dancing boys and all that?
	Shh.
	Oh, sorry.
	If it helps jihad.
	And the left is the same way.
	Like, whatever it takes.
	So you have Jewish people.
	Uh-oh, this is going to get contentious.
	Saying, you know what?
	It would really help the left's cause if we joined AOC and CARE and started shitting on Israel.
	And they go, okay, I'm in.
	Fuck Israel.
	Secular Jews shitting on Israel and promoting Palestine.
	And why are they doing that?
	Because I'll apologize later.
	We got to get our numbers up.
	We need power.
	You hate war.
	You hate the troops.
	Oh, we're pulling out the troops.
	Oh, wait, that makes Trump look like a hero.
	Okay, don't pull out the troops.
	We need to save the Kurds.
	We're making Poutine later.
	We only have gravy and fries.
	We need the Kurds.
	That joke is really cheesy.
	So it's just disingenuous.
	At least in the ice age, it was actual ice.
	We're getting driven underground by lies.
	A quick lie that was started about me.
	Oh, yes.
	Remember this whole thing?
	So there was a shooting this morning at a high school.
	As of now, one girl is dead.
	And there's a rumor starting that it was Ryan Katsu-Rivera.
	Yeah, on 4chan and poll.
	Why did you pose with a picture of a gun?
	I don't know.
	I thought it looked cool.
	I was in my short shorts.
	And why do you have racist, sorry, anti-Semitic?
	Look, you got racist.
	Dude, shut that down.
	Wait, I have racist what?
	There's the N-word in the post below because you have such a low IQ and you're so myopic when it comes to yourself that you go, oh, picture of me, put it up.
	And you don't look what's around it.
	You're putting up some racist message board from 4chan, you fucking Tardo.
	Well, it exists.
	Oh, good.
	Yeah, so does Kitty Porn.
	Let's get that up there.
	No.
	Wow.
	They're uninformed.
	They think the guy shot himself.
	He did not.
	He's apprehended.
	But are you the new Sam Hyde?
	People are now going to use you for all the shootings?
	Maybe.
	Looking pretty good.
	Yeah.
	Ryan, you've got to, I'm going to say this seriously.
	It's one of the few times I'm not joking when I speak to you.
	You need to rein in your ego.
	You need to rein in.
	It's not just megalomania, but you're in love with yourself.
	You're enamored with yourself, and it's fucking cheesy.
	Remember that time you heard that you were mentioned on a podcast?
	You were combing through the whole thing for hours to hear your name.
	No, that's not true.
	After I heard my reference, I was just listening because I just finished listening to things.
	Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about.
	The fact that you continued after is totally irrelevant.
	The fact that you obsessively combed through it because you heard there was a Ryan moment.
	Like even that thing, why'd you show that?
	That's irrelevant.
	It's not a genuine pattern.
	It's not like lots of people think you're the shooter.
	One dummy on 4chan put it up.
	I've been told on Twitter, on Instagram, and personal messages that they're just seeing that.
	It is definitely a pattern.
	It's a thing.
	It's on 4chan and Poll, and it's like spreading around.
	And some people are convinced because they're a little dumb, and I look a little aggressive in that picture.
	And I'm wearing the same shirt, by the way.
	So that's not good, actually.
	Also, in the impeachment hearings, do you think Adam Schiff has gay face?
	Yes, I do.
	He has these pursed lips.
	What's that picture you showed me where his eyes were all bugged out?
	Yeah, he looks like Slappy from Goosebumps.
	I don't think he's qualified.
	That's terrifying.
	I think this impeachment is going to be a complete shit show, and the left will be totally embarrassed.
	But because they're Bolsheviks, they just pivot.
	So remember when Russia, they don't mention Russia anymore.
	Russia's gone.
	Even Roger Stone's trial, it was based on his collusion with Russia.
	That was the, he was asked 600 questions, he got five wrong.
	Now he's going to jail or maybe prison for five lies to Congress.
	In the courtroom, they're calling it lie number one, lie number two.
	And those lies, which were just basically typos, are considered contempt of court.
	And they're going to throw the book at him.
	But the lies, and they're not lies, the typos came in a two and a half hour interrogation about Russia.
	It was determined there was no Russian collusion whatsoever.
	And now the trial says we're not going to mention Russia.
	We're making it all about Julian Assange and WikiLeaks.
	And the fact that Stone wanted Assange to leak Hillary's emails.
	Yeah, so did I. As I said this week, if you wanted Hillary Clinton to be hit by a bus and she was hit by a bus, you don't go to jail.
	But in Stone's trial, it's all about how he wanted those emails to get leaked.
	He said he knew someone who knew Julian Assange and then they got leaked.
	So fucking what?
	Actually, that's kind of a good segue into the highlights.
	On this show, the Thursday show, we no longer get philosophical on the podcast.
	It's all about promoting free speech.tv because I'm about to be banished there.
	You're never going to hear from me outside of free speech.tv.
	And no, I'm not a cocaine addict.
	I just have bad allergies.
	But so a good opportunity on this free show is to show you what you've missed throughout the week.
	And outside of the courtroom with Roger Stone, I talked to Roger Stone's best pal, Michael Caputo.
	Michael was Roger's driver when he was a young man, and they grew up together.
	You know, it was a funny story I don't think is here.
	When Roger met Michael, he said, look, you want to work for me?
	You need a tailored suit.
	At least three.
	Now, tailored suits, if you're not cheap like me, and you don't outsource it.
	And I know that's hypocritical.
	God, I can't get my tie right.
	This J-press tie is so thick.
	Are $3,000.
	So Michael goes, that's nine grand.
	I'm 20 years old.
	And Roger Stone goes, sorry.
	So he gets the suits made.
	And then Michael finds out later that Roger Stone ran the suit place.
	Oh, my God.
	He owned the tail.
	That's hilarious.
	He's like, you got to pay to play.
	Anyway, for some reason, the state has decided that Michael and Roger can no longer be friends.
	There's no justification for this.
	No reason.
	It's just a rule they came up with.
	Because, and I know I'm streaming from the Bolshevik analogy here, we are living in a monarchy.
	And there's two sets of rules here.
	Michael Caputo and you and I are all in the same.
	We're with the peasants.
	So when a law, when someone wants to put us in prison, they put us in prison.
	When they decide they want to separate two friends, they just separate two friends.
	And here is Michael Caputo.
	I don't know if you'll be able to tell this, but he's tearing up when he talks about it.
	This is from, I think, Tuesday's show.
	Bizarre, we were watching the opening statements today, and all of His allegations seemed fine to me.
	Like he's encouraged Assange to release Hillary's emails.
	So did I. Right.
	So did NBC, ABC, CBS, Washington Post.
	They were like, Roger Stone was looking for the emails, but every reporter of the Washington Post was.
	Absolutely every one of them was.
	And what Roger, you know, I've not been allowed to talk to Roger since he was arrested.
	I've been wondering.
	Why is that?
	We don't know.
	I don't know.
	I said, that chair is safe for Caputo.
	And Roger goes, no, it's not.
	We can't speak to each other.
	I was his driver when I was 24.
	I've worked with him for, you know, all those years, ever since 1986.
	And we've spoken to each other sometimes seven, eight times a day.
	And to go from speaking to your best friend every day to not being able to speak to him at all for now 10 months, it's like he's dead.
	But he's not.
	He's being killed.
	And to me, it's very emotional for me and my family.
	We used to spend holidays together.
	To me, there's no greater emergent call for this country than to watch what they're doing.
	I mean, what Roger said before we had to stop talking is they're criminalizing politics.
	They're creating a crime scene where a campaign should be.
	And if they were really punishing people for colluding with a foreign nation, they'd focus on the Hillary Clinton campaign.
	That's a good cut.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	Someone said yesterday.
	When he was tearing up there, I thought, I don't want you to cry because I don't like when men cry, especially on TV, but it's good for the brand.
	It's good TV.
	Because you'll notice Oprah in 60 Minutes, they always go, so when your father died, I understand you were with him?
	Yeah, he died in my arms.
	Must be hard not to have him with you.
	Yeah, it's not great.
	You must think about the things.
	And then they keep pushing and pushing until the person's like, and you just see Oprah like, yes.
	Gotcha, boo.
	Gotcha, bitch.
	One thing worth noting is GQ had an article out about Roger Stone and how terrible he is at style, how bad he looks in the courtroom.
	They mentioned me in it too, which hurt.
	Did they?
	At one point in it, she goes, Gavin chose Fred Perry's for the Proud Boys.
	Fred Perry's, of course, is the stuff of country clubs.
	Have you ever been to a country?
	Do you mean Brooks Brothers?
	What are you talking about?
	Fred Perry's at the country club?
	Maybe in the 60s.
	Anyway, this article, why do Roger Stone and Co.
	love bad clothes?
	And it's all about how terrible he looks every day.
	And meanwhile, he looks impeccable.
	That's a classic suit.
	All his suits are tailored.
	Even his suspenders look great.
	And this silly cow is just ranting on about how bad he looks.
	And he's not the right guy to...
	That's perfect.
	It's exquisite.
	Anyway, and she said Milo looked terrible.
	He's wearing like all Gucci suits and Yves Ceylon shoes and stuff.
	Yeah, what a cornball.
	But previously, there was a video that was up on GQ for 100 years, and it was all about Stone's rules for style.
	And it was Roger Stone talking about what tie to wear, with what pocket square, and when you wear a tan suit, and when it's too cold for, too late in the season for a tan suit.
	That was up forever.
	Now that's scrubbed from the internet and replaced with these sucks.
	And why did they do that?
	Did they do that because Roger is all of a sudden bad at fashion?
	No, because the state dictates who can like whom.
	You can't appreciate Roger Stone.
	You can't even be his friend.
	It's totally scrubbed.
	Totally scrubbed.
	That's a good name for our show.
	That's pretty cool.
	What's this?
	This is his former tailor.
	What would you advise Roger Stone to wear to court in an instance like that?
	Blue suit, white shirt, blue tie, white handkerchief.
	Something very simple.
	Roger Stone has called you his sartorial mentor.
	Is that how you would classify your relationship?
	Yes, I would say that.
	Look at that.
	He's so scared.
	I guess.
	Not really.
	I don't like him anymore.
	Don't put me in prison.
	What a world we're living in.
	We're living in Soviet Russia.
	Although, in Soviet Russia, you would go to the gulag, you'd go to re-education camp, and then you come back redeemed.
	These people now, once the left sees you as an enemy, you're irredeemable.
	Stephen Miller's done forever.
	Why?
	Because the SPLC said that he was sending racist emails to a news source.
	What are the racist emails?
	Well, he didn't say anything good about people of color.
	Okay, racist.
	And then, like, he didn't appreciate Richard Pryor enough.
	Then you look at the emails and you realize, wait a minute, he was emailing the immigration editor at Breitbart.
	And he's in the Trump administration.
	So it's all going to be more closed borders type stuff.
	There's no actual smoking gun there.
	The worst it got was we should stop immigration from all Muslims or Muslim countries.
	That's the worst it got.
	Yes, that's rude.
	But they tie that smoking gun, that one sentence, with a million other things, and the guy's ruined forever.
	Irredeemable.
	No gulag, no re-education camp can save him.
	He's persona non grata.
	Anyway.
	Going back to our week of crying headlines, I mean highlights.
	Joe Biggs started to cry on his show this week on free speech.tv.
	Sounds like we're titling.
	Joe Biggs was crying.
	No, it was very moving.
	I like your new sunglasses.
	Here it is.
	It goes, Mr. Biggs, thank you for your service.
	I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your video about men.
	It was very positive and encouraging.
	Also, recently I've been wanting to find a tactical combat course for civilians, and I wondered if you knew of any with a good rep. You know, and I'll send that guy a message on that as well.
	Actually, you know what?
	You can check out Sheepdog Response.
	That's my buddy Tim Kennedy and Dr. Mike Simpson.
	Tim Kennedy was a Ranger, Green Beret, Special Forces sniper.
	And then Dr. Mike Simpson Was an 18 Delta.
	He was a special forces medic.
	He was a Ranger as well.
	And both of them co-host Hunting Hitler on Discovery Channel.
	Good friends of mine.
	And they do a tactical course.
	They do medical stuff.
	They do jiu-jitsu.
	They do all this shit that's really good for training.
	So that's something that you could definitely check.
	Was thinking about blowing his head off and didn't do it because of one of the shows.
	And that one hit hard, you know?
	That's, I mean, in a good way, you know, like I'm glad that, you know, my punk-ass rambling could do something like that.
	But Because we don't need people to take their lives.
	Too many people out there care.
	You know?
	Too many people out here care about you.
	And we don't need you to do anything stupid.
	At all.
	Nice timing.
	All right.
	I just want to think my uh can you get better webcam software, please?
	Or just get rid of that webcam entirely?
	This guy is crying, thinking about all the friends that have died, that have killed themselves after coming back from combat.
	And it's like, you need to update your shitty webcam.
	Yeah, that was not my idea, believe it or not.
	Oh, okay.
	But Ryan, you're still responsible.
	That's your software.
	If your software is buggy, you got to get new software.
	That's happened like a hundred times.
	It's the only one that works for, to my knowledge, for this tricasher here.
	We need the serial number to update it.
	And when it was purchased for you, I don't think we got the serial number with it.
	We tried to contact you.
	Let's bore everyone at home with the semantics of our technical television.
	I'm limited here.
	You know, Joe told me this really weird story that he'll expound upon on his show this Sunday, most likely, I hope.
	Where the use of painkillers in battle is very not unregulated, but very generous, we'll say.
	And if you have pain, you need opioids, no problem.
	And what happens is these guys get addicted to them in combat.
	So when they come back, everyone back home is scratching.
	So now they have the PTSD and trying to reassimilate with society to deal with.
	On top of that, they're going through opioid withdrawals and scratch.
	So they're literally addicted to combat.
	So the state benefits from that because now they have to go back to war to get their fix.
	Maybe that's why the VA takes so long to medicate you because they want you to suffer when you come back.
	So you'll be more inclined to want to be there.
	How much of PTSD is state-induced?
	Spooky.
	Spooky.
	Spooge.
	When he was talking about, I think in his third episode, he mentioned that the Russians had these opiates, these non-labeled or non-brand opiates that they would just have access to.
	And they're just, just take them and then use it.
	So was the state administering them or were they stealing them?
	No, it was just kind of not spoken about.
	it was unregulated.
	Like you said, Just like the heroin addicts in Vietnam.
	Yeah, they would just let anything happen in Vietnam from what I was told.
	Anyway, we'll let Joe explain the whole story because we're fucking this up pretty badly.
	Well, you got to show the whole face.
	That's from him.
	Spooga.
	Being good at it, if you will.
	We've invented...
	Actually, that's a good segue.
	I like to think I've invented things because I'll have a thought and I'll be too lazy to look up if it's been done.
	So I'll just go, I invented it.
	Now, there's drops, like on Howard Stern, they'll have a fart sound when he mentions farts.
	And then there's like Jesse Waters, where he says, this is crazy.
	And it'll cut to a scene from Fast Times of Ridgemont High where he's going, I'm totally zoph, dude.
	But what about a combination of the two where we do drops, but they're video drops?
	Just do anything?
	Like that.
	I invented that.
	So that reminds me of another highlight.
	This week we had an invention special where I just invented a...
	But let's have a look at a highlight from that episode.
	Okay, wait, and we're...
	Holy shit, dude.
	You're in there fixing your hair.
	I thought these were in order.
	Well, but I'm not saying they're in order.
	4440.
	I got it.
	I got it.
	44.40.
	Bless you.
	Frankly.
	Ladies and gentlemen.
	Come on.
	free inventions.
	Thank you.
	15 free inventions.
	These are a gift to you.
	Wait, why'd you say 10 free inventions?
	On the card?
	Yeah, there's 15 here.
	No, some of them aren't.
	Well, you'll see.
	You're contesting my inventions?
	Yeah, I mean, some of them are very close to things that might exist.
	Wow.
	You want a jump frog?
	Jump.
	I don't know what that means, but yeah, I'll jump.
	I appreciate the nuts.
	You got nuts, kid.
	Thanks.
	You got nuts.
	To the Freedom Tower people about copyrights.
	So that one's crossed out.
	Number two.
	I was going to call this the child safety feature filter, sorry.
	But that's confusing.
	What are you doing?
	What happens in this?
	It's 4402.
	No, it's not.
	It's in the fucking notes.
	44.
	What were you doing before we did the show?
	We started the show today.
	We started getting ready at 11 a.m.
	44.40.
	And I went.
	44.40.
	Yes, that was it.
	And then we jump ahead to 4902.
	That's why I just verbally said to you, jump ahead to 4902.
	And that shows the whole Gangs of New York thing.
	Well, you have to think about a different way to list that because this is what it looks like.
	That's why I said to you verbally while we were watching, jump ahead To 4902.
	Okay, and did I?
	No, you jumped ahead to after the because what it says is like 44, whatever, dashed to 49.
	So it looks like there, that's a five-minute clip.
	It's like from here to here.
	That's how you write out a time code.
	I just realized that I'm wrong, and I was thinking of ridiculosity, which is our next clip.
	I apologize for losing my temper at you.
	Everything was perfectly normal.
	Everything was playing smoothly.
	I just had a ridiculous childish temper tantrum for no reason.
	Is that true?
	But don't play the music from that episode because we'll get a copyright strike.
	And I know that just means demonetization, which they did to me years ago, but we're just adding to the fodder of the December 10th purge.
	Yeah, I say we go with a bang and just play Star Wars.
	Star Wars kiddie porn.
	Star Wars kiddie porn.
	Fuck that.
	Okay.
	Yo, what's up, fucking Ollie?
	I thought we were playing the ridiculous.
	No, I explained that that was why I fucked up.
	So go back to inventions and show invention number one.
	Got it.
	Which should start around 44, 45?
	44.
	Okay, let's go here.
	All right.
	I'm mad at both of us now.
	15 free inventions.
	These are a gift to you.
	Wait, why'd you say 10 free inventions?
	On the card?
	Yeah, there's 15 here.
	No, some of them aren't.
	Well, you'll see.
	You're contesting my inventions?
	Yeah, I mean, some of them are very close to things that might exist.
	Wow.
	You want a jump frog?
	Jump.
	I don't know what that means, but yeah, I'll jump.
	I appreciate the nuts.
	You got nuts, kid.
	Thanks.
	You got nuts.
	The Italians call it Moxie.
	These inventions, I'm not going to sue you when you invent them.
	You will make tons of money.
	They are brilliant ideas that I've had.
	And I don't want to put the money down and get the trademark and go through all that crap.
	I don't have time for that shit.
	So you have to get the venture capital.
	I'm not funding it, by the way.
	Don't ask me for any money.
	And I've already invented a bunch of stuff.
	I'm done with inventings, but I still have an inventor's brain.
	So I'm passing these on to you as a gift.
	All right.
	Number one.
	You're like a shark tank cuck.
	This is a free shark tank cuck.
	I'm like shark tank Santa.
	Cuck?
	Oh my a cuck.
	Because you're watching other people pitch your inventions.
	Yeah, whatever.
	You're really sassy today.
	Yeah.
	When it comes to inventions, you know.
	Number one, this place in history.
	It's an app for your phone.
	And what you do is, you know how there's those, I was going to say astrology apps.
	Astronomy apps.
	Not girls, boys.
	Where you can lie down in your backyard at night and you shine your phone up and it tells you what all the constellations are.
	Oops.
	What the fuck are you doing?
	You just disappeared.
	Hold on, one second.
	Well done.
	Your arrogance seems really justified.
	Arrogance.
	So yeah, it tells you what the planets are, what the stars are, what the constellations are.
	And if it's any constellation, I don't know a lot of them either.
	And you can move your phone all over the place, and it automatically maps where you're going.
	Play that video.
	Has everyone seen this before?
	I mean, it's not great for us city folks because we rarely see the stars, but for the rest of the people out there.
	And we don't need the audio.
	I just think it would be nice if it was moving.
	For some reason, they kept it on a pause here.
	Really?
	Nothing moves here.
	Yeah.
	Because you got a lame video.
	Huh.
	Anyway, so it's that, but you're in New York and you scan it down.
	Like I went to Aldo's Shoes on Broadway because Bill the Butcher was killed there.
	And I told the people at Aldo, I go, did you know Bill the Butcher died here?
	And they go, we don't, I don't like that.
	We don't care.
	It was the manager.
	And I guess she didn't want tourists coming by and wasting her time.
	I kind of get where she's coming from.
	She was like, shut up.
	I don't want people to know.
	But Ryan claims there's a problem with this investment.
	Wait, let me finish it before you poo-poo it.
	So there's a Gangs of New York tour on your phone.
	And you look at a topographical map, and you can see like where the Know-Nothings were, where the Bowery boys were, what the various TERFs were.
	And then you can go to the spot where this guy died or this battle was.
	And then there's a separate one for jazz.
	And you have a topographical map, and it shows you where Louis Armstrong got in a fistfight with Clarence Clements.
	I don't know anything about jazz, nor should anyone.
	And all the photography, whatever you want.
	There's different apps for different things.
	And you just shine your phone around.
	And it could even show you what the building looked like back when Bill the Butcher was killed.
	So throughout history, it'll show you what stuff looks like.
	Yes.
	Well, this is the Freedom Tower Elevator.
	So it takes you up.
	It shows you when it was merely grasslands and swamplands.
	Real estate was much cheaper then, obviously.
	A couple beads.
	We bought that for some beads and $14, but that was a fuck ton of money back then.
	And there's no evidence that the Indians we bought Manhattan from owned Manhattan.
	They may have just been passing through and they went, thanks for the $14.
	And so now they're going through the history of the Brooklyn Bridge being built.
	Yeah.
	Built.
	Okay, that is a lot of my idea.
	But my idea is more about this location, this happened.
	But all right, fine.
	Someone's thought of that before.
	You have some building blocks.
	You may have to talk to the Freedom Tower people about copyrights.
	I'm realizing a lot of my inventions suck.
	They don't suck.
	They're so good they've been invented before.
	Yeah.
	What about a thing where you turn on a switch and the room just fills with light like it's day, even at night?
	That was Thomas Edison.
	That's actually a light bulb.
	Oh, I wish there was the other Tesla guy.
	Surrounded by them.
	Yeah, I guess all I'm saying is I wish tourism apps were more sophisticated.
	And I guess the free market is saying, yeah, so do we.
	There's no demand.
	Like the amount of UX Your app would need to shine your phone around and see the gangs of New York is like a $2 billion app.
	So I'm surprised I invented.
	But since that episode aired, I have invented something.
	So I walk around with my son on my back sometimes, my youngest boy, and I just carry his feet.
	And, you know, I was thinking at places like Disneyland where you don't want a stroller and stuff, it'd be cool if you just had a very sturdy belt, not a normal belt.
	Although there could be a version that attaches to your normal belt.
	Then you can just put them in your backpack.
	Yeah, then they could be foldable.
	Could be two like lycra things.
	Oh, no, you just attach them to your belt and they're floppy.
	Yeah, that's a cheap one.
	It's just got clips that go in.
	Well, let's show the piggyback belt.
	This is what I invented since that episode aired.
	Wait, get me out of the way.
	You want the real, the symmetrical dynamics, yeah.
	Now, notice how it's sturdy, tough leather.
	Yeah.
	And then when the kid's not on you, it doesn't matter, right?
	And the beauty of that is you don't have to deal with the stroller or anything, and the kid is using a lot of his weight to hold on.
	So when you Google piggyback, when you Google it.
	I didn't Google it because I just like that I invented something and I'm very proud of myself.
	Is there piggyback belts?
	Show what you're looking at.
	I just searched it.
	Oh.
	Well, there's things very similar.
	Okay.
	You'll notice, though, those are just fancy backpacks.
	Wait, what is this?
	That's a hip accessory.
	Oh, yeah.
	See, but look, and this is crucial.
	And that was another invention.
	I want there to be a new sticker on products called Not Safe.
	And it's a skull and crossbones.
	It's on medicine.
	It's on knives.
	Lasers.
	Kids' knives.
	Kids' fucking machetes.
	Crack vials.
	Crack vials.
	And it'll be on things that are not FDA approved.
	And you can't sue me because when you bought it, you saw the sticker that said not safe.
	So my thing is not safe.
	Because if a kid decides not to hold on, he's going to fall and hit his head on a fucking knife.
	But these things, you'll notice they all have backup plans.
	Like they'll have a clip that goes to a harness around the kid.
	So now if the kid stops holding on, he falls.
	Okay, that's safe.
	And you likely won't be sued because even if his feet fall out and he faints, he'll still sort of be hanging there like a backpack.
	That's not what I'm selling.
	I'm not selling safety.
	Wait, why'd you leave it?
	It was way better before.
	Yeah, see, look at all that crap you got to lug around and you got the big wood piece.
	That's not that much better than a stroller.
	Mine is just a belt with big loops.
	And the cheap one I'm talking about is just your belt with two little things on that could just be flopping around like the Orthodox Jews with those little strings that hang down.
	I used to know the name of that.
	But this is under Reddit, this picture, Reddit, mildly interesting.
	So, I mean, your invention is...
	It's mildly interesting.
	You're battling for the...
	I might make that, although my boy's getting too big.
	Safety last is my motto with child rearing.
	Convenience first.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, this thing is not portable.
	Some parent told me recently that they saw my middle child on his bike and he didn't have his bicycle helmet thing.
	They were just dangling.
	It's like, I don't care.
	I don't like bicycle helmets.
	Yeah, who do?
	Which are users.
	Also, this week, we got dope with the kids, my fellow kids, and we checked out a bunch of viral videos on our new hit show, Ridiculosity.
	That's right.
	And that takes a jump because the first one isn't very good.
	Oh.
	So we do.
	We start at 1611.
	We show the cool card, and then we jump to 2442.
	Okay.
	Yo, what's up, fucking Ollie?
	Welcome to Ridiculosity, where we catch up on some videos that aren't quiet, that are told, that are the GOAT.
	You're going to watch them and be like, dead.
	They're super mad.
	I said all the ones on my list there.
	A hype.
	Hype's old, isn't it?
	Okay, let's just go...
	Is when they go...
	When they go, okay, and they're freaking out.
	And then the guy goes, there's something wrong with your seatbelt.
	Your seatbelt's not right.
	And they go, what?
	What?
	And then they start checking and they go, ka-chung-foom, and send them off.
	But let's see who freaks out more.
	We use this to summarize both races for eternity.
	Anecdotal evidence pertaining to black guys will.
	Oh, this is great when they wake up and then start screaming.
	Oh, this is the classic one, yo.
	This is one of the best ones Ah shit No laughter The grunt back to passing out.
	I shouldn't make fun of those guys until I've actually done the slingshot.
	I might be fainting up a storm.
	Why did I do it?
	I didn't do it.
	I was supposed to do it this past time.
	That's not news, Ryan.
	Don't say that.
	I know, but we should do it.
	Why would you add to the conversation that you haven't done a thing?
	Well, it's been a thing for me.
	We go to Wildwood since before I was born.
	My parents have been going, and I've never done the slingshot, and I've always wanted to.
	And it gets more expensive every year.
	Last year was like $20.
	Now it's like $40.
	Do your imitation of your dad that you did to your mom today that had her convinced she was talking to her ex-husband, ex-boyfriend.
	Rakshan, today we are in the city.
	So if you want to eat something, I can see you.
	Is your webcam broken?
	Eat something.
	Yes, I'm frozen.
	Why are you frozen, Ryan?
	I think it's because the camera made bad something crazy.
	He always says something crazy.
	Something crazy.
	We never say that.
	It's like the Quebecois.
	They always say, that's it, that's all, fuck them all.
	And I'd always say to them, you're saying in English saying that we've never said.
	We don't say that's it, that's all, fuck them all.
	You're making up.
	You guys made up a colloquialism that's not in our language.
	It's actually impressive.
	That's it, that's all.
	Fuck them all us, see?
	Are we almost done with the highlights?
	Yes, there's the Daily Show rant.
	The Daily Show.
	So here's the thing.
	Oh, something I want to say about that previous clip, Slingshot.
	So I said, you heard me quipping that we'll use this video to summarize the two races forever, right?
	And then I thought, that joke maybe wasn't obvious enough.
	And in this world of thought policing, you have to overstate all your satire.
	So I said anecdotal evidence just to make it clear.
	And I guarantee you that someone will say, or someone could easily say, McInnes declares a video of a black man fainting summarizes the black race.
	And that's the kind of language that was in Max and John's transcripts in the trial, where they'll say this horribly outrageous thing, and you'll go, no, no, no, that was a joke that was lampooning racism.
	Like, obviously, that clip about the slingshot is mocking the concept that you take two people and summarize two entire races from that thing.
	But the way they operate now is they're willfully ignorant.
	They're purposely blind to jokes in order to further their shit.
	You look like you have the wrong timing on this.
	No, 57.55.
	For the daily show.
	Or 54.
	57.54.
	Okay, but wait, wait, before we show that.
	Imagine if you just say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was being racist.
	So long story short, before I started the Prowboys, the comedian Dante Nero and I had a competition to see who could not beat off for the longest.
	And we first said 10 days, then we said 30.
	And then we went through this crazy shit where we were singing in the shower, dancing in the streets.
	We had a different attitude to people.
	Hey, how you doing?
	Our handshakes were better.
	Sex with his girlfriend.
	No, I wasn't having sex with his girlfriend.
	His sex with his girlfriend and my sex with my wife was vastly improved.
	Both of our relationships with our significant other had vastly improved.
	And we went, this is a revelation.
	I guess the Catholics were right.
	Beating off is bad for you and porn is bad for you.
	And then I discovered the documentary, Your Brain on Porn, and the whole no-fap movement that had long been established.
	And then I learned about how erectile dysfunction in young men has increased like a thousand percent since pornography became normalized and all the terrible things that porn has done to our culture.
	But the Daily Show learned that Nazis also felt this way.
	So if Hitler used toilet paper and you used toilet paper, then you're a Nazi.
	And in this Daily Show segment, they said that the alt-right, which they're throwing me into, even though the alt-right wants to kill me, is forcing men not to masturbate in order to control them.
	Because if you can make a man not masturbate, you can make him do anything.
	Doctor is clearly against masturbation.
	I can see you thinking that anti-masturbation laws are draconian if someone chopped your hand off for beating off.
	Can we hear the background of this, please?
	Did someone get mad that you touched yourself too much?
	Yeah.
	Men are so angry.
	They're not strangling their pepes.
	They know how to masturbate.
	They're not going side to side, right?
	They know it's up and down.
	I don't think this is a technique issue.
	They are actually trying not to masturbate.
	Used to take me hours.
	Now it's like, you know what I mean?
	Well, I have one hand, so you know, it gets lots of practice.
	Just pause.
	You know what's kind of cool about...
	No fap was started by this guy who's against pornography.
	Couldn't be less racist.
	Racism and fap, it hasn't occurred to him.
	I guarantee it.
	I had it on my old show a few times.
	Or the documentary, Your Brain on Porn.
	There's nothing racial about it, but they inject this into everything.
	And when he says alt-right leaders are telling people not to masturbate, he's talking about me and Jordan Peterson, for example.
	Lots of people say don't masturbate.
	Yeah.
	That was getting repetitive.
	This whole highlights thing is getting repetitive.
	Let's stop.
	Actually, let's go behind the paywall soon.
	But you had some things you wanted to talk about.
	We mentioned Schiff's gay face.
	I got to that.
	Yeah.
	Slappy from Goosebumps Face.
	We got the JQ style thing.
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	It's tricky in New York with all these stupid laws.
	There should be two Americas, as far as I'm concerned.
	The wanting to eat what's safe and FDA approved.
	And then the this is a very dangerous piggyback belt that was invented by a member of the leader of the alt-right.
	And your child could die.
	So don't sue us.
	I mean, we have that with everything, right?
	There's those sex consent apps.
	I was talking about having a fight consent app.
	When you go to an amusement park, you sign away your rights, right?
	If you go on some ride, you know those ones where you have to sign?
	Like I went to this sky thing where you go on top of a fan and you can float and you got to sign like 100 documents.
	Or RPM, the raceway.
	You spend about 10 minutes signing your rights away when you walk into that place.
	We should have that for products too.
	For literally everything.
	Yeah.
	Are you, Sir, just put, you know, when you go to CVS and they say, Do you want to donate to charity?
	There should be a thing when you put your piggyback belt on the counter and they say, You realize you can't sue for this, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay, can you just click that box?
	Yep.
	Or just recognize you saw the skull and crossbones.
	Yep.
	Like those cool lasers that you could like light a cigarette with.
	You know, we can't have cool things because somebody would sue for it.
	We want cool things.
	Yeah.
	Again, we want it to be like the 70s where you could die if you went outside.
	I want lead paint toys, MSG Chinese food.
	My friends had go-karts when I was a kid.
	My parents were Scottish and way too cheap, but it wasn't unusual just to see an 11-year-old kid go, meow with like a lawnmower engine and some steel frame that his welder friend had made and a wheel that goes flying off.
	And then he'd go wipe out no helmet for miles.
	Remember how many, well, you're too young, but when I was a kid, everyone had a cast.
	I had a cast.
	If you hadn't had a cast in your life.
	Never.
	You were a derogatory epithet for same-sex couples.
	That's how we talk.
	What's the acronym for that?
	We should call people that.
	Derogatory.
	Derogatory epithet for same-sex couple.
	You were a desk.
	You're a desk.
	Come on, you desk.
	Get up.
	The new phrase that's sweeping the alt-right.
	The alt-right has decided that using desk is a solution to basically polite speak.
	They're against politeness because Hitler was rude.
	And they're trying to recreate World War II in order to commit genocide.
	I can't believe they called Jordan Peterson alt-right leader.
	Another al-right leader, Jordan Peterson, who has a swastika tattooed on his foreskin.
	That's not true.
	Jordan Peterson talks about cleaning your room.
	Yes, I do.
	Hitler was.
	The Nazis also were huge on clean rooms.
	Doesn't make me enormous.
	This bed was apparently made with a ruler.
	Afterwards, he would flatten the sheets out with a long yardstick.
	Your bloody mind?
	Jordan Peterson and the Nazis both want you to have a clean room so you can have a clean mind.
	And by that, they mean a white nationalist.
	That's not true.
	You're starting to get sort of black with your Jordan Peterson.
	That's not true, right?
	I'm a black Brit now.
	Ugh.
	That's tough.
	That annoyed me.
	That's not fun.
	All right, so we're about to drift away behind the paywall.
	The people who have subscribed to free speech.tv will continue to hear the show.
	We'll take calls.
	We're going to hear from a woman in Denmark who's dead.
	Oh, okay.
	We are going to have to.
	Yeah, we'll start with that while the calls accrue.
	Maybe you put the number on the screen.
	So are we leaving the...
	Goodbye, free people.
	That's what you missed this week.
	And after December 20th, I assume we won't be seeing these on YouTube anymore.
	Please feel free to steal everything on my YouTube channel.
	Put it wherever the fuck you want.
	If you steal from free speech.tv, and it's not like a two-minute clip, I'm going to come down hard on you.
	But in general, steal all my YouTube content.
	Go nuts with it.
	Let's let a thousand flowers bloom, as Mal once said.
	And I guess I'll, how about you just sign up and I'll see you Monday.
	Thank God those losers are gone.
	Oh, finally.
	We can finally talk semi-freely, more freely.
	Ew, a white piece of paper, racist.
	Hitler had a white piece of paper.
	I bet he did.
	He said, he once said, und van Iven, vagstoven, und van joven, which means the entire nation of Germany should be a white piece of paper.
	With no scribbles.
	With no scribbles.
	What these people do when they talk about the boogeyman of the alt-right is they make it appealing.
	And when you say half of the country is racist, Donald Trump is a white nationalist, when they keep repeating again and again, it has the reverse effect.
	And people go, oh, I thought white nationalists were dicks.
	Trump is what?
	Yeah.
	I guess I'm one too.
	When you say that if you don't like beating off and watching porn, if you're not a literal wanker, then you're a Nazi.
	And you go, oh, okay, I guess I'm a Nazi then.
	Yeah.
	That sucks.
	I thought they were bad guys.
	I was all wrong.
	Yeah, I guess they're the good guys.
	Okay, let me see here.
	Setting up the corner.
	So can we show that video as numbers accrue?
	Can you show the number on the screen, please?
	I'm going to throw the number up, but I have to...
	Why?
	What are you doing?
	I got a call in with the Skype.
	So step one will be complete in two seconds.
	Step one.
	Number.
	We are trying to fix the call system, but it's complicated and it's a pain.
	We're getting Garrett from Compound.
	Come check it out.
	I take your complaints very seriously, folks at home.
	So, yeah, there we go.
	718.
	What is it now?
	400.
	That's a kind of a cool number.
	695 now.
	It's got a 69 in it.
	Hell yeah.
	It's got Brooklyn.
	Yo, Brooklyn.
	No sleep till I was playing guitar here with my son, and he goes, what does that mean?
	No sleep till Brooklyn.
	Because that's one of the things.
	What does it mean?
	Well, they're on tour.
	What does it mean?
	They're on tour, and they're probably in, I don't know, could be Chicago.
	And they're just like, let's just fuck keep giving her.
	Well, Chicago's a little far away.
	What's like 12 hours away?
	Chicago's probably 16.
	Florida is probably 18.
	North Carolina?
	Maybe they're in North Carolina.
	They just did a show.
	Like, we could get a motel and sleep or we just could party on the bus.
	What it really, the song is really about is about having cocaine on your tour bus.
	Ah, I assume.
	We're not sleeping until we get to a place of rain.
	Got the blimmy and the dooney and the boomy and the dooney.
	That's basically them, yeah.
	I was never a big fan of it.
	You know what I hate about Beastie Boys is that they had that stupid, silly adolescent stage With the giant inflatable penis on stage.
	And it was a big part of my life in 1984.
	I was 14 when that album came out.
	We were parting our asses off.
	It was one of those rap bands you're still allowed to listen to if you're punk.
	And what's the word?
	Disqualify.
	They apologize.
	They something disavowed.
	Disavowed.
	That's the word I'm looking for.
	They disavowed that time in their lives and apologized for how horrible they were.
	Look, we know you were young.
	You were fucking 19.
	Don't apologize for being 19.
	Then a bunch of 19-year-olds go, oh, I guess I'll be ashamed of this when I'm older.
	I think the left turns Chads into nerds because by being illogical, they're like, you did that and that's racist.
	And then you're like, wait, no, not really, because this and this and this, and we're being reasonable with unreasonable people.
	That's this book I'm reading, Douglas Murray, The Madness of Crowds.
	And he talks about how now that we've erased religion and logic, the latter more importantly, people are going crazy, desperately clawing.
	And so they get this new set of values, which is basically just astrology.
	This new value system where up is down and down is up.
	And blacks are racist.
	And he talks about an article that I got to look up.
	It was about bicycle accidents and how women tend to be victims of the more.
	Because they're basically, you ever see a woman on a bike?
	They look like Kermit the Frog.
	They're like, do, do, do, I don't know what I'm doing.
	And I just pictured that very well.
	The headline of the article is, men are making roads that are killing women.
	Oh my God.
	No, it's not.
	Yes, it is.
	Okay, what about this?
	We have the road here, then there's a bunch of flowers, right?
	And then it makes a sharp right turn.
	Right where the flowers are.
	Women are going to want to go to cliff.
	So they'll be going, pretty flowers.
	We've teamed up with the coyote from Looney Tunes.
	Yeah.
	I could not but notice your plans for this road system seem very dangerous to women.
	Yeah, a little bit.
	I love it.
	I fucking love it.
	Fuck them all.
	Should we show the Denmark rape victim?
	Yeah.
	So does this need some splaining to do?
	Well, yeah, her name is...
	So yeah, politician Willie Dilly, who was gang raped and threatened for further fighting Islam, commits suicide.
	So she was, you know.
	Can I just have a funny angle on this?
	Sure.
	Ladies, if you're going to go up against something as big as Islam, you better have some pretty big cohonets and almost be a little fucked in the head.
	Like Milo and I are fucked in the head.
	Biggs is a warrior.
	Laura Loomer is a little fucked in the head.
	I love her, but she's a little like you got to be a little jagged if you're going to take these people on.
	And this woman might just be a good person.
	Yeah.
	And that's why it doesn't work out.
	Like Lauren Southern, good, good person, nice person.
	She went to South Africa.
	She took on Islam.
	She got fucked in the head.
	She went cuckoo.
	Cuckoo.
	You know, this is like long-form horror, I think.
	You know, like, well, how long is it?
	It's a minute 57.
	This was Ryan's contribution to the show, folks, and I think it's relevant.
	But if he's packaged it in a boring way, then I apologize.
	I'm a political activist and I just want to know the world the truth.
	15 maitre 2017, I'm a political activist.
	You're covering the word rape.
	You're covering the word rape.
	The threats are increasing and nobody does anything.
	Think about the people doing audio.
	Last week it got worse since you were stopped in Yipburg by two Moroccans in a car who said that we're going to cut your throat slowly soon.
	And we'll let you bleed to death because you continue to fight Islam.
	It's necessary.
	But people don't notice that.
	And the authorities.
	Yeah, now this afternoon it happened again while I was busy with something else and while I was walking with a child.
	And it's the same threat again.
	And I'm just afraid that they'll get my children or my guests.
	I can't live with that, but I want the fight against Islam to continue.
	It's such an intrinsically bad thing.
	They don't think women are anything at all.
	They do not like us at all.
	They want our freedom of speech to be restricted.
	And only after all that has happened will they be happy, and I can't do that.
	I must continue to fight, but if I continue to fight as a politician, my family is in danger.
	So if I'm going to die, then that is the only way.
	I can't handle it with my family.
	So that's why I decided to quit.
	I want everyone to know that the police in the Netherlands are totally failing, and the Pauline Krieke has just failed.
	Furthermore, I want to again apologize to my family, but I just can't take it any longer.
	And then she later killed herself.
	She later killed herself.
	Right after that video.
	Yeah, she was naive to think that she was strong enough for this fight.
	Like Tommy Robinson almost lost his mind.
	And Tommy Robinson is the bravest man I've ever met in my life.
	And one of the best fighters I've ever met.
	Like Tommy Robinson in prison, the first time, no one talks about this, way before all this recent shit.
	This is maybe six years ago.
	They put him in a cell with these Somalians who had earned the right to have boiling water in their cell.
	So they, it was to murder him.
	The authorities there put him in that cell so he would be murdered.
	So the Somali throws the boiling water at Tommy.
	Tommy fucking Jason bourns under it.
	Larry Barnes up with a right, overhand right, and beats the living shit out of both of them, thereby saving his own life.
	Damn.
	Is she up for that?
	Like, I hate to criticize someone who killed themselves, but I'm saying to other people, this is a heavy game.
	Like, Heather Heyer, If you're there to fight Nazis, I don't know, you're there in flip-flops and leggings.
	Like, these people are, according to you, the most dangerous people in the world.
	Arm up.
	You should know MMA or something, and you should be ready.
	Especially if you don't have a government system that's behind you.
	They're not doing anything about it.
	Yeah, I don't like seeing women at these things on either side.
	Okay.
	Who invites a woman to a rumble?
	Not I. It says to me.
	We got Destiny on the line.
	You want to talk to her?
	Sure.
	It could be Dustin, but I'm calling.
	Hey, Destiny.
	Hey, guys.
	It's Dustin.
	Not anymore.
	It's not.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, I was just reading again.
	I do about once a year.
	I got the audiobook version.
	There's like an echo or something going on.
	Okay.
	Keep talking.
	But I was going to say, y'all should do like a Death of Cool book question episode.
	But I was going to ask if you had any more crazy Dr. John stories or anything like that.
	And then also, did you really eat your own jizz or is that just for the book or what's going on with that?
	Yeah, thanks for calling.
	That sounded like shit, as usual, Ryan.
	We've got an echo on it.
	People can't talk right when there's an echo.
	Two stories there.
	Remember in that book, The Death of Kool, I said very clearly, if there's any lies in this book, I'll pay you $1,000.
	Now, if I got a date wrong or a name wrong, obviously that's not it.
	But if I wrote in the book that I ate Moan Jizz and I didn't, then you get $1,000.
	I can't believe I did that when I look back.
	I would never consider that now.
	But it was like, you know, you're whatever it was, 20 years old, living with a bunch of lesbian, anarchists, feminists, roommates, and I had it there, and I was just like, whatever.
	I'm as surprised as you are, yeah.
	You haven't read my book?
	No, not yet.
	I can't read books.
	You can't read books.
	I can't sit still long enough to do it.
	Whatever happened to the joke is over.
	I love that book.
	And I couldn't get past, like, I got pretty far in it, and I'm just like, I want to talk to Ralph again.
	I want to hear about Hunter again.
	I want to be where he puts you there, wherever he's talking about.
	You've got to force yourself.
	The first 10 pages are a slog because you're used to reading tweets.
	And then after 10 pages, you start to get into the rhythm.
	That was something.
	I mean, you go work out.
	You're lifting weights.
	Just think of it as a mental workout.
	After 10 pages, you get into the beat, and then you get into the groove.
	But Dr. John, so he's talking about a story in this book where I was with one of my employees as a tree planter was a genius who taught at MIT but had lost his mind.
	And his mind had fractured into himself, Dr. John, Snuggles the dog, and the Nietzschean Übermensch.
	And the Übermensch and Snuggles would have these huge fights where the Ubermensch would yell, you are a bear and you eat in the garbage.
	And Snuggles would say, no, no, please, please.
	And the Ubermensch would murder him, I guess, a lot.
	And people often ask me, what happened to Dr. John?
	I was told that John is a homeless man in Toronto now, freezing his ass off.
	His family have tried again and again, kidnapping him, making him take his drugs.
	When he takes his schizophrenia drugs, he's normal.
	But what I hear from these drugs is it's sort of like anvils for shoes, and you're just sort of slogging along.
	But when you embrace the craziness, you're alive again.
	What a strange curse God created.
	So he's chosen not to take his medication.
	He's chosen to choose lunacy, and he's a stinky old bum as far as the last info I got was.
	I hope I'm wrong.
	You had no audio there, Ryan.
	I know.
	Let's see if we're still getting echoes on the phone.
	Okay.
	Brandon calling about giving a couple tips regarding the Proud Boys that recently went to prison.
	Spent a lot of time in jail myself.
	Go ahead.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, you're breaking up a little bit, but I can hear you.
	Can you guys hear me okay?
	Yeah, we hear you fine.
	All right.
	First thing, important for the Proud Boys that are in jail now, I spent about six months in gun club.
	I was falsely accused of a robbery, and I was put in with the worst of the worst in gun club down in Palm Beach County.
	I eventually ended up being found not guilty.
	But I found a lot of good survival methods for jail.
	I mean, the first day in there, you had to fight.
	There was a bum laying dead on the floor.
	And it was an absolutely crazy experience.
	So what I started doing, I started teaching Bible studies.
	I started teaching people how to read because most people in jail don't even know how to read.
	And that was a good survival strategy for jail.
	Now, what you guys don't realize with all these contributions is their commissary is going to get stolen from them.
	People are going to jump them for their commissary and steal their commissary while they're gone.
	So what you want to mainly invest in is free phone calls and just give these guys advice.
	Every day they want to work out.
	They want to bust their ass.
	And you know what the black guys ended up saying about us?
	They're like, damn, nigga, you get in full because you can pack on some pounds.
	Yep, right.
	So that's a good thing.
	But they're in prison, my friend.
	You rub your nose or your eyes again.
	So here's the solution for your crazy problem with allergens.
	Buy a HEPA filter for your office today.
	Can I ask you how old you are?
	How old are you?
	AP12HH.
	It's $130 on Amazon.
	Buy that so I don't have to watch you rub your nose anymore.
	How old are you?
	As far as peeing the bed is concerned.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Sir?
	How old are you?
	Gavin is asking you.
	Yeah.
	So we change your.
	Yeah, I can hear you.
	Yeah.
	How old are you?
	I am 37.
	All right, I'm 49.
	And Max and John are in prison, not jail.
	And what gives you the right, as a 37-year-old, to talk to someone 10 years older than them like you know shit?
	You don't think it's occurred to me to get an allergy filter in my office?
	Like, why are you the expert of the world?
	Six months ain't jack shit.
	They're in fucking prison, dude.
	They're not in jail.
	I really understand that, but six months in jail still gives you some experience.
	It doesn't give you prison experience, my friend.
	Totally different world.
	A lot of people would argue that jail is worse, especially gun club.
	But hey, if you don't want to take my advice, that's fine.
	All right.
	Thanks for your call.
	I just hate the tone from these people.
	You know?
	Well, that might be something.
	And yes, I'm aware the commissary gets stolen.
	And the way the phones work in upstate New York prisons is you pay for an account with the phone company, and then when they call, it comes out of your account.
	So I put 50 bucks into my personal phone number, and now when they call me, it comes out of that 50 bucks.
	I can't give them money for calls.
	And as far as commissary goes, in prison, they're in a box with two guys.
	So one guy would have to steal it from the other guy.
	He's not in an open area.
	Looking into HEPA filters.
	I don't even know if it's allergies.
	Hey, this is Christian.
	Talking about transgender stuff.
	What's up, Christian?
	Hey, actually, I want to change it up.
	Phone's breaking up a little bit.
	Just letting you know.
	Are you calling me on a phone or a Fisher Price toy?
	No, no, no.
	I'm calling you on a cell phone.
	My house is awesome.
	Thanks for calling.
	I don't want anyone to call if they're calling from a place that doesn't have good reception, please.
	You waste everybody's time.
	Charles.
	Charles, you're online.
	Hello?
	Hello.
	Hey, first off, I'd like to say, Gavin, the way you say us is so cute.
	Thank you.
	Also, I'd like to say, I think the whole political conversation should really be centered more on the sovereignty of the individual.
	Okay.
	It's just getting away from that.
	And I don't think that's right.
	You know, you got intersectional people, you know, grouping people.
	But America, Christianity, all founded on this idea of individual sovereignty.
	What are your thoughts?
	Yeah, that's a good example with that is the sort of transgender bathrooms.
	If you're a woman and you pass as a woman, just use the female bathroom and shut your face and no one cares.
	And if you don't pass as a woman, well, you should understand that you're making everyone uncomfortable.
	You're what's called a weirdo.
	And I've been a weirdo.
	I was a punk rocker for a long time.
	I accepted that I made people feel uncomfortable.
	I didn't demand other people accept me.
	This whole obsession with making people accept you, like they say, I used to watch shows and no one who looked like me was on the show.
	Go fuck yourself.
	Just watch the show.
	If you don't want to watch it, don't watch it.
	But this thing about free speech is we are being prevented from talking to people.
	We're being driven underground.
	Someone said to me the other day, yeah, I know YouTube's shutting you down.
	You should try Vimeo.
	I'm banned from Vimeo, dumbass.
	I'm so sick of this fucking advice all the time.
	But yeah, it all comes down to the sovereignty of the individual because there's two types of people in politics.
	People who want to be left alone and people who won't leave them the fuck alone.
	Does that answer your query?
	You know, by the way, somebody, he's gone.
	Somebody sent me in, they're from Kentucky University or something like that.
	And in the men's bathroom, there's tampons and tampacs.
	Crazy.
	Jacob mustache.
	It's something crazy.
	Jacob, mustache.
	You're on the line.
	Go ahead.
	Hey, Gavin, I love your mustache, dude.
	That thing is awesome.
	You look like Czar Nicholas of Russia.
	He had diabetes and the same neck as Nancy Pelosi.
	Thank you.
	Thanks for calling.
	Great call.
	That was critical and mean.
	That was painful.
	Julian.
	This side looks like it's going up like crazy, but I think it's the lights.
	Lights camera act shot.
	Oh, wow.
	You do kind of look like him with diabetes.
	Yeah.
	That's the oldest fucking reference in the book.
	Oh.
	How bizarre.
	How bizarre.
	Julian, farting around significant other.
	Go on now.
	Come on, Julian.
	Come on.
	Bry guy.
	Hey, man.
	Question.
	Go ahead.
	This is getting so fucking teasy.
	I am dating a new girl that I'm quite interested in and been holding my farts in around her.
	And I'm at the point right now where I'm having to go into the kitchen and start washing dishes and just make loud noises so that way I can fucking fart and shit.
	Why don't you just go to the bathroom?
	Is it true that you really have not farted around your wife?
	I'm really trying to court my gal for as long as I can, which would be as long as possible because the goal is to marry and make babies.
	So do I have to really hold my farts in?
	Well, you don't have to hold your farts.
	The rest of my life?
	You don't have to hold your farts in, but yeah, you can never, ever fart around your significant other.
	I met my girlfriend, my wife, in 2001.
	20 years.
	Now, of course, there's times where I think I'm safe, and I let one go in the kitchen, and then she walks into the kitchen and goes, oh, Jesus.
	It's just bad.
	We have separate bathrooms.
	I forget who was this.
	Maybe it was Michael Caine.
	He said, The secret to a long marriage is to always have separate bathrooms.
	She should never smell your shit.
	She doesn't need to know how human you are.
	And you should never smell her shit.
	Your wife shouldn't fart in front of you.
	God forbid.
	That's unthinkable.
	But if you feel a fart coming along, you got to go into the bathroom, fart it, close the door.
	Shit smell is allowed in the bathroom, obviously.
	And here's another one.
	If she's asleep or falling asleep and you figure you can get one out, and usually the ones at the end of the night aren't that bad, open up your anal lips like this and just blow it out so she doesn't hear it.
	And it might smell, but it won't smell bad enough to wake her up.
	But yes, I was not lying when I said you should never fart around your significant other.
	Next call, please.
	Oh.
	Right?
	We've got James.
	James talking about Roger Stone.
	DC.
	Hold on, clicking.
	Hey, yeah.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hey, man.
	Yeah, I work in D.C. a lot, and I am blue-collar.
	I'm an electrician, apprentice.
	And I think that whole situation is such bullshit because that could happen to any of us, and there's nothing we could do.
	And the fact that they're just completely stonewalled.
	And then the impeachment, if you paid any attention to that, it makes me sick how fucking corrupt D.C. is.
	And D.C. is America.
	It's a monarchy we're living in right now.
	And Roger blasphemed the queen, Hillary.
	And I know it seems weird that the king is on trial, but this isn't a normal monarchy.
	We have a king who was elected by the people that the entire castle wants to murder.
	So, yes, our guy is at the top, but the top, he's sitting there with a sword, smashing it down on everyone else.
	He's the only guy we have in the monarchy, and the monarchy is way too powerful.
	It's like Steve Bannon said, do you think they'd give it up without a fight?
	But I got to say, D.C. is one of the most vile places when it comes to politics.
	And it's not just the top brass.
	The people on the street, like Milo and I getting attacked.
	You're never safe there if you're a famous conservative.
	It's kind of different than Berkeley.
	It's more vicious.
	It seems like Berkeley with knives.
	I heard people saying that it seems like it's like built on an Indian burial ground or something.
	It just feels evil.
	And I look at it, and I, yeah, I've gotten that vibe.
	It's spooky.
	It really is.
	Okay.
	But kudos to you for having the tenacity to get a trade.
	You are going to be rich, my friend.
	If you're an underachiever in New York and you're in the unions as an electrician, you're looking at $120K a year after overtime.
	Your kids are going to have a dirt bike.
	You're going to have a cottage upstate that the mortgage is nothing for you.
	You're going to be doing all right, and you'll always have work.
	You are going to get electrocuted pretty badly at least three times.
	Yeah, yeah, definitely.
	Can I say one last thing?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Well, being white Caucasian, you know, in this construction field, you know, I'm surrounded by immigrants.
	I have no problem with that.
	But it's the reaction I get from regular people in the buildings, you know, white, upper class.
	And they just, just the vibe that I get from them, it's despicable because they look at me like, you know, I'm some fucking lower class, some bullshit.
	But here I am probably, you know, installing their entire fucking building.
	I don't know.
	You're making more money than them.
	You're making more money than them.
	And as far as what you're contributing to society, if you can't turn on the air conditioner in July, you don't have an office and nothing is being produced.
	You're crucial to the economy's survival.
	But what are they doing?
	They're pushing papers around.
	They're working in HR.
	They're dealing with the complaint where someone said shit fart at a meeting and they're wondering if that is grounds for some sort of a pink ticket.
	Like they're not actually creating anything.
	If they didn't come to work that day, for many of them, the world would be better off.
	They're not helping society and yet they have that shitty attitude.
	And you know where else I see that shitty attitude?
	When you see liberals like Will Summer, when we were checking into this courtroom in D.C. with Roger Stone, I mentioned this earlier.
	The black dudes who check your keys and take you through security, we'd obviously joke with them.
	They're bored.
	We're having fun.
	And when you could see Will Summer, for them, it was like something out of the Star Wars bar.
	Like he and them were two separate species.
	There was no rapport.
	They don't appreciate black people at all.
	They just see them as something that they want to have equal rights, but they want to keep them over there.
	He had a bubble boy vibe.
	Even his little bubble jacket.
	It's like, I'm just floating through.
	Just don't mind me.
	Well, good luck surviving DC, man.
	Thanks for calling.
	Who's next?
	We've got Hibachi.
	Hibachi.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	I just wanted to know, is Hibachi a form of Asian menstrual show?
	Is Hibachi a form of Asian menstrual show?
	Kind of.
	Asian menstrual shit?
	I know.
	Menstrual show.
	Oh, menstrual shit.
	Menstrual show.
	Oh, you mean like the.
	Yeah, because they say their name is Jackie Chan and stuff like that.
	But it's, I mean, it's not all.
	They're never Japanese.
	No.
	They're always Korean, Chinese.
	Japanese people are too good to do a shitty job like that.
	That is no honor in that, so I'm out.
	Well, that's why I never really had a problem with blackface or minstrel shows.
	Everything is a minstrel show.
	Look at Beyonce's blonde hair.
	She's doing a commercial for shampoo for blondes.
	That's not your hair, and you can't get it wet.
	You spent $5,000 having an Indian's woman, Indian woman's hair sewn into yours, and then you dyed it blonde.
	SeaWorld is like a minstrel show.
	The zoo is a minstrel show of the jungle.
	It really is.
	Sell out.
	Angry Man, invention of a word.
	Hey, Gab, Hohuru.
	Hohuru.
	Huru.
	Yeah, the other day I was sitting around and I was trying to think, everybody has a word, you know, the N-word with black folks, F-word, I'm being nice with gay folks.
	When can we get a word?
	I know it kind of goes against your free speech, but I want a word that gives me a free pass to punch somebody in the face.
	I think it's white boy.
	The way you can gauge the word, the word's offensiveness, is the way it's said.
	Like people don't say, and I'm about to say a bad word, people don't say, yeah, well, I was on the boat Thursday, there's about four niggers there, there was two white people, and there was a, like, when people say it, it's they're screaming at Popeyes, like, yeah, you would do that, you fucking.
	And it finally comes out.
	And I've noticed with the word white boy that it's really said with a, I'll fuck you behind it.
	Like the woman at the beginning of the show where she goes, hockey was always a bunch of white boys.
	And I remember getting into an argument with an Indian relative on my mother's side, and I'd said, how many slaves do we bring to America?
	It wasn't that many.
	And she was like, it was millions.
	And I go, I think it was 350,000.
	And she goes, no, it was millions.
	Now it did become millions.
	But I was right.
	And I showed her on my phone.
	Yeah, I was right.
	And she got so mad and she kept going, you don't know what you're talking about, white boy?
	And it was always like, white boy?
	Like with crazed eyes.
	She must have said it 20 times.
	That's our word.
	Yeah.
	And let's never pretend again that it's cracker because it never was.
	That opens up the argument, doesn't it?
	Like, hey, pal, that could be detective shitty.
	But it's not racial.
	No, my point is that you can make anything sound bad.
	Like, you're real Jesus.
	Genius.
	Okay, sure, but what's happening?
	It doesn't matter.
	You can make raisins sound bad, but on earth here today, white boy is a big one.
	You know another one I would argue?
	Nazi.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Someone's calling you a group that killed six million Jews.
	Fuck you.
	Right.
	All right, next call.
	We got for person Charlie.
	Don't know what that means.
	Maybe they'll clear it up.
	Hey, man.
	Thank you, Gavin.
	I want to touch the schism on the right.
	Can you guys hear me?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	Yeah, no, I just said that you're more on the like Dave Rubin, Charlie Kirk side of the schism.
	But if that's true, why don't you ever get invited to do anything with Charlie Kirk or Dave Rubin or TPUSA or the Daily Wire?
	I just don't know if they look at you like that because you're so close with like Coulter and Mulligan and all of them.
	I know you said Milo's going to have Nick on, but I was curious as the founder of free speech.tv why you don't want the Fuentes interview.
	I was just curious about that.
	Yeah, I'm not against it, and I might, but I don't know.
	Everyone thinks this new schism with the new frogs is this, the Groupers is some massive seismic shift in the political universe.
	And as someone who's been here in media since 1994, I've seen a billion of these come and go.
	So I don't see it as consequential as everyone else does.
	But definitely this month, it's the hot thing.
	I think I'm more with Malkin and Coulter.
	I don't think Malkin and Coulter have a problem with Israel.
	And I know the Groupers say we don't have a problem with Israel.
	We just don't want funding it.
	So maybe it's a gray area.
	Let's actually work it out.
	All right.
	So here's the middle.
	Here's the far...
	Does that seem like right on the stage?
	That's stage left.
	That's stage left.
	All right.
	So here is the middle.
	Here's AOC and everything.
	And then this is stage right, right?
	And here is like, let's put Richard Spencer and all those alt-right guys here, okay?
	In this little caboose.
	That's Richard Spencer right there.
	I'd say Nick Fuentes is here.
	And I would say Michelle is here.
	Ann Coulter's here.
	Michelle is more concerned with demographics than Ancoulter is maybe by a contair.
	There's me in Anthrax.
	I'm pretty, I guess I'm just right next to Nick Fuentes.
	I'd say Charlie Kirk is over here.
	And then Dave Rubin, I would put him here.
	I'd put Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson in this little cross.
	By the way, you know what this says?
	It says, please be a fart.
	I'd put Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson in this little strip here.
	So I'm not that far from Nick Fuentes.
	But I don't like fights in this strip.
	I don't mind fights over here, but I think a lot of these fuckers are feds.
	I think Richard Spencer is a fed.
	That's just a theory.
	I think Jason Kessler is a fed.
	I think that Charlottesville was a false flag, whatever the fuck that means.
	I think it was promoted by globalists to sink these people.
	Charlottesville was a trick to make these people die in the same sinking boat that these people are in.
	And I've got a lot of evidence for that, but none of it is enough to take to court.
	It's just, there's a preponderance of, what do you call it, circumstantial evidence?
	So as you can see here, I'm not that far from Nick.
	And I understand the hedonism thing, but as I said on the other show, the whole like, oh, we need more traditionalism and you guys are hedonists and everything.
	Go get a girlfriend.
	Go make a baby.
	You talk a lot about traditionalism, but you don't practice a ton of it.
	Why is that?
	And then my other big problem with that group and then the anti-Semitism is it just anti-Semitism is a curse and it starts explaining everything in your life and it just gets so fucking tedious.
	I don't know if they, so I've been written, somebody, like a lot of people wrote to me about it, and apparently it's a little more nuanced and they don't really talk about it all that.
	It doesn't consume them, but they're willing to talk about it.
	Nick was saying, please stop talking about it.
	We're getting known as the Israeli dudes.
	Take it down a notch.
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	Like, you know, the followers of any given hosted show.
	But yeah, we're not hiding from Nick Fuentes.
	We may have him on the show, and he'll be with Milo tomorrow Night.
	So you got your way.
	Nice.
	And one more thing.
	Charlie Kirk and those dudes would never have me because they see me as Nick Fuentes.
	They see me as Richard Spencer.
	And I'm too toxic.
	Andrew Breitbart recommended that I write for Breitbart.
	As I was on my way to do my first column, he died, and then Breitbart went, sorry, too hot.
	So I can't work for Breitbart after being recommended by Andrew Breitbart.
	That's wild.
	That's how toxic I is.
	You know what the weird thing about that, too, is the reason why schism might be addressed by anybody is that I feel like the left, anything that the right does on any spectrum of the right is now, that's the whole thing.
	So if one person on the superfar right does something, that speaks for everybody on the right.
	But the left has the power, like they have the ability to exist in nuance with context and stuff.
	They can have forgiveness if one of theirs does something bad.
	We get no forgiveness when one of us does something weird or whatever.
	Right, Ryan, enough.
	Thanks.
	And also, Nick plays dumb and says, oh, I've just been joking around and stuff.
	He said some pretty odious and unforgivable shit in the past.
	And you're allowed to in the world of free speech.
	But you can't also be surprised that you don't have mainstream acceptance when you, didn't he retweet a meme about how a cookie to be baked would take this much oven, and there's no way six million cookies could have enough ovens to be baked?
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	Six million cookies would need this many ovens.
	17.
	Basically denying the Holocaust.
	Right.
	Which that's pretty far out there as far as free speech goes.
	You can't expect mainstream acceptance or really any kind of popularity when that's your stance.
	Have you seen the uncle?
	But you should be allowed to have that stance.
	I do not advocate that someone goes to jail for having a theory about the fucking Holocaust.
	Have you seen the Pauly from Sopranos memes about the Holocaust?
	No, don't put them upright anymore.
	They're all wrong, but they're funny.
	That's enough.
	Hey, T. All right.
	We got...
	Hello?
	Area code 412.
	Hello, am I on?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Quick question.
	Would you rather do an eight body with a four face or a four face with an eight body?
	I'll hang up and listen.
	Thanks.
	That's a perfect call.
	Fuck.
	That felt like a homework assignment.
	The face could be a two for me, so that's my answer.
	This brings up an interesting point.
	In Canada, a woman who's hot here, that's basically all of her looks because it's so cold there.
	You have a hood up all the time.
	And she could have an ass, like one of those crazy asses your mom's friends have, and you wouldn't care because it's this.
	Now, I also had a place in Costa Rica, and we'd spend December's and July there.
	And there, everyone's in a bikini all the time.
	So if someone has a hot bod, the face is just like, it's like ugly shoulders or something.
	It's not that big of a deal.
	It's the inverse of Canada.
	But four is fucking bad.
	Four?
	That's right below average.
	Like a two.
	That's a 0.1.
	But the body there.
	That's a butterface too.
	This is me, by the way, and I don't like that I'm doing this, but it's scientific, right?
	Would you say that's an eight body with a four face?
	No, that's less than a four.
	That's about a two point something or a three.
	That face, or let me zoom in.
	I'm giving you a three.
	A chance to re.
	There's like illness going on there.
	No, that's like a 3.8.
	All right.
	Okay, so that makes it much easier.
	So I'll take that as the four face eight body.
	And then can you give me an eight body four face?
	I mean a four body, eight face.
	I kind of...
	I'm not a big body guy.
	Does that mean she's...
	Like a gunt?
	A shitty ass, celluloid, cellulite?
	I guess the types of butts that go like a triangle.
	Oh, yeah, those...
	McInnis butts, post-Malone neck tattoo butts.
	And pancake butts.
	I mean, tits.
	Pancake butts.
	I think one of the problems with this conundrum is it's not easy to picture.
	Obviously, if there was two naked chicks with you, you could just go, that one.
	But when I'm thinking of a four-body, there's so many things that could be wrong.
	It could be pancake tits, could be cankles, could be tree stump legs, but a normal upper body.
	It's hard to search for something so politically incorrect.
	I can't think of a time, and I've had some super duper fatties.
	I can't think of a time when I've been with a girl and been like, oh, God, this fucking body's such a bummer.
	But I can think of a time when I've been fucking a girl and looked at her face and went, I've really let myself go.
	I can't believe I'm fucking.
	So I just answered the question for myself.
	I'd much rather fuck a girl with an eight face and a four body.
	The four body's reparable.
	Right.
	Outside of some other thing.
	What's that you just showed?
	This?
	Oh, this old thing?
	Yeah, it's a...
	Is that a four body right there?
	Because I ain't got no problems with that.
	This one's a little problematic.
	Just because of the overspill?
	Okay, yes, please.
	I'm actually starting to think that my type is eight faces from far with four bodies.
	That's the perfect 12.
	I'm Shallow Hal.
	She's a perfect 12.
	All right, that was a refreshing call.
	Yeah, that's nice.
	Hey, Michael from LA, Mormons killed in Mexico.
	Please.
	Hello.
	Yeah, I just called a few weeks back talking about the black and Hispanic relations in L.A. And something that surprised me when this Mormon American family was killed in Mexico was on Facebook.
	And I was seeing a lot of posts and comments from, you know, my Hispanic friends that I grew up with.
	And it was the type of comments like, I stand with the cartel.
	You know, it's like a complete allegiance to a country they're not even from.
	And I think that could be, it's scary, you know, to think of that.
	You know, you have people that this country fed and their allegiances to the cartel.
	You know, I had one of my friends say, and I know he wasn't born here, and he had said, I don't want no foreigners in my country, even if they're trying to help me.
	I just want to get your take on that.
	Well, I got a million takes on that, but don't hang up on him.
	Did you already hang up on him?
	Yeah, I can call back.
	Good.
	I hope he's listening.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Because you're supposed to wait till I say thanks for calling.
	All right.
	Hey, person, if you're still listening, I saw you commented on the Instagram page and said, I'm the caller who talked about the black people and the Hispanics.
	Then there was a black guy who commented on that.
	I want to fly both of you to New York and sit you two down.
	I'm sick of these celebrities.
	They're too expensive.
	They don't give me what I want, and I don't find them any more interesting than regular Joe's.
	I'd love to get you two guys up here.
	You can agree, disagree.
	It would just make for a much more interesting show than some multi-thousand dollar political celebrities.
	So, I don't know.
	Email Ryan.
	What's your email?
	Ryan at free speech.tv.
	Ryan at freespeech.tv, and we'll set that up.
	I'll foot the bill.
	I'll pay for your hotel and everything.
	And yeah, that thing about the allegiance from the Mexicans to the cartels is our fault.
	There is so much ethno-masochism in this country.
	There's so much anti-Americanism in the mainstream that Mexicans and other groups go, okay, yeah, fuck this place.
	You know, and I bring the Jamaican jihadist who, or here's a better example, the Sarnev brothers in Boston.
	They grew up normal, right?
	They listened to Van Hale and they lifted weights.
	They loved Camaros.
	But they kept getting this from their teachers that America sucks.
	America sucks.
	America sucks.
	So when they go back to Chechnya or Georgia or whatever, their uncles go, how is it going in the Great Satan?
	And they go, well, it sucks.
	Apparently, it's a shithole that was stolen from Indians and built on slavery.
	They go, we told you.
	Now let's fucking blow it up.
	Yeah, let's fucking do it.
	So we radicalize immigrants.
	I bet you that their parents, those Mexican parents, were much more patriotic and happy to hold the American flag than their own children are.
	Now, separately, what the fuck are those Mormons doing down there?
	Like I just saw in the paper today, some woman got killed in the Dominican Republic trying to help the poor and promote Christianity.
	Why don't you go to the south side of Chicago?
	Why don't you go to Baltimore?
	There's so many places where atheism abounds and they could do with a good dose of Christianity.
	How about the entire fucking south?
	Not a good dose of Christianity, but they need charity.
	They need help.
	What were you doing there?
	The cartels, you got, that's another thing Joe Biggs has got to cover on his show besides the opioid thing, is the cartels.
	It is, it's not like there's a new thing.
	There's a fun new gang.
	You look at American gangs like the Bloods.
	I think they only go back to the 60s or 70s.
	The cartels are multi-generational crime families.
	They're similar, more similar to the mafia than they are to anything else.
	And I think the mafia was even newer than that.
	I guess you could compare to the mafia and that the mafia went back to Italy and went back hundreds of years.
	They are hundreds of years old and they use children.
	That's the scary thing.
	If you fuck with them, you'll notice there's like an eight-year-old with a basketball outside your motel watching your in-and-out.
	He's their scout.
	They have no value for human life there, including their own.
	They're totally different than us.
	So don't fucking go there to promote Christianity or anything else.
	Looking pretty grim out there.
	Zach, you got the TriCaster serial number from Garrett?
	Yeah, I sent Garrett a tweet and just asked what it was, and he sent it to me 30 minutes later.
	So your excuse for Joe Biggs' webcam not working is gone now.
	Well, that's not the same TriCaster, wise ass.
	It's a different serial number.
	You don't use Garrett's TriCaster anyway.
	Dimwit, thanks for calling.
	Like your new sunglasses.
	You're welcome.
	Jojo Craco.
	Do you think we're in Compound Media right now?
	In the closet?
	Right, and it's not the serial number, too.
	It's the one specifically for this purchase item.
	That's why they know that we bought it.
	Otherwise, I could just...
	Yeah, this is JoJo Craco from the West Coast of Canada.
	It's a pleasure to speak to you fellas.
	It's my first time calling in.
	Of course, I only signed into FreeSpeech.tv less than a week ago.
	So, yeah, but I've heard about you guys for a while.
	And about a month ago, I was out at a pub in the evening that you do.
	And it was a karaoke night.
	And I sang a song called When a Man Comes Around.
	Johnny Cash, did he?
	Anyways, I woke up the next morning, and what was on my mind was When Antifa Comes Around, because I'd heard about your, you know, Maxwell Hare and John Kinsman and all that bullshit.
	So I thought, last couple of weeks or so put together, a little song called When Antifa Comes Around.
	Put it up on YouTube on Saturday last week.
	I just thought I'd throw it up there and say, hey, if you want to use it, use it.
	I mean, I'm not trying to get, you know, rich and famous.
	Well, why are you singing right now?
	Why don't you hum a few bars?
	Um, okay.
	There's Antifa going round taking names.
	And they'll decide who to free or who to shame.
	Everybody won't be treated all the same.
	Common sense and wisdom shouted down when Antifa comes around.
	Anyways, it's on YouTube, man.
	And I just wanted to let you know that it'd be cool if you check it out sometime.
	All right.
	Well, we just did.
	Thanks, buddy.
	Thanks for calling.
	Later.
	Okay, take.
	Take.
	I like hanging up on people.
	And I heard, as it were.
	Yeah, it's under When Antifa Comes Around by Jojo Cracko.
	So you guys can check it out.
	You want to listen to it?
	Sure.
	Is it just him singing?
	The four beasts sang.
	That's the intro.
	No.
	And they'll decide who to free or who to shame.
	There's Tiny.
	Everybody will be treated all the same.
	Common sense and wisdom.
	Shut it down.
	There's just so much in those, like, or that's enough.
	There's just so much in those, like, two seconds.
	I see Tiny at the beginning there.
	He's on trial right now.
	He could go to prison.
	And in the Max and John trial, they talked about a proud boy who was beating black teenagers.
	And you look it up, and it's Tiny, so it's not really a white nationalist example.
	You have a Samoan.
	And the black teenagers were calling him the N-word, pushing around, shoving him because he had a MAGA hat on, and he got in a fight with them.
	There's that one.
	And then in the next second, we see these Antifa yelling at some old lady saying, Nazis, get out of our town or whatever.
	The restaurant that Antifa kids' parents owned got a bunch of threats because they came here as refugees, I believe Syrian refugees.
	And the first thing they do is their kids join Antifa and start yelling at the locals, a bunch of 80-year-olds.
	So people say, fuck you, the restaurant.
	So the restaurant pretends they're shutting down because of racism.
	Pierre Trudeau, I mean, sorry, Justin Trudeau, the prime minister, and all these people go, that sucks.
	This isn't Canada.
	We can't be shutting down restaurants because people are refugees.
	They totally twisted it.
	And then some big billionaire Indian mogul comes in and has a reopening of the restaurant, which is the parents of Antifa.
	And then third, you show Jesse Peterson, the guy we just learned from The Daily Show, is a leader of the alt-right who is making kids stop masturbating.
	Or Jordan Peterson, yeah.
	Jordan Peterson in order to control them.
	What did I say, Jesse Peterson?
	Yeah.
	His guy really wants to get him on the show, too, by the way.
	He's interested, so I don't know.
	That's a thing.
	Yeah, we should do that.
	Free speech or something.
	Talking about Wednesday's show skit.
	Oh, yeah, I got it.
	Is it not working?
	Okay, there we go.
	Something about Wednesday's show skit.
	Hey.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, what's that show that you guys showed a skit of?
	It was something about Wednesday, something about Sundays, where the guy and the girl are talking, and they're like, oh, yeah, a lot of retards are faggots, or a lot of faggots are retarded.
	Oh.
	What show is that?
	It's my new obsession.
	I'm bonding with my daughter on it.
	It's called Strangers with Candy.
	Oh, fuck, man.
	Strangers with Candy.
	Unfortunately, the only place I can find it is on Hulu for two bucks an episode, but it's absolutely worth it.
	It's Amy Sederis, and it's written by Paul Donello.
	Stephen Colbert is on it.
	If you forget the name of the show, just check Stephen Colbert's IMDB from the early aughts, and you'll see it there.
	Strangers with Candy.
	Obviously, an allusion to the pedophiles in the van with candy for you.
	Cool.
	All right.
	We got Ross and the Normandy best numbers.
	What?
	Oh, okay.
	Is this about Normandy?
	Yes.
	Hello?
	Hello.
	Hey, yeah.
	So I guess this is more food for thought than a question.
	I guess I want to hear your guys' thoughts on it.
	But you guys were talking about the depthful numbers kind of changing from source to source.
	And I kind of recently stumbled across a theory as to why that is.
	And it kind of ties into, you bring up the deep state sometimes, the mother effers that are prosecuting your friend.
	Yep.
	And I know that you probably know the blue or the black male that finds them is paedophilia.
	And maybe if you go a little further, they have a sick religion that they're tied into.
	I don't know if you heard of that.
	So they use these numbers, they amplify them with every fear to play on people's emotions, lower your vibrational state, and then you're more susceptible to propaganda.
	Okay.
	Well, the problem with the G-Day numbers we had was they were all around 4,000, which is fine.
	I understand you go 3,000, 5,000.
	But the first result said 448,000.
	We couldn't figure out why that was the first result.
	And I don't think it's a matter of brain control or anything.
	But yeah, we'll definitely look into that.
	Thank you for your call.
	Okay, we got Dick calling about the University of Michigan class.
	Hey, Dick.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	No, this is Jeff not the University of Michigan.
	I had a question about pissing the bed.
	If you're with a woman within the first year, you piss your own bed with her in it twice, and you really care about the girl, even though you notice she's irrational.
	Detective Shitty is right.
	Girls do get more crazy with time.
	But if you really care about her, regardless of all that irrational bullshit she might have, if she stays with you after you piss in the bed twice, do you put a ring on it?
	Great advice, my friend.
	So true.
	So that's a yes.
	Oh.
	You marry her.
	It was a question.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Thanks for that, and much thanks for you and George Brett.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye-bye.
	His question was, if you piss the bed twice and she forgives you in the first year of being together, that's a keeper.
	That's a keeper.
	Yeah, that's a keeper.
	And that was my wife, definitely.
	But after 20 years, it gets to the point where, no, and I would like to announce on the show right now, I am permanently quitting not just Maker's Mark, but all hard liquor.
	Sorry, guys, in Kentucky.
	You're going to be drowning in extra brown liquor for a long time now.
	You're going to see a slump in sales this next short term until you can recalibrate.
	But I just can't handle it.
	I can't be wetting the bed.
	I can't be wetting couches.
	I think I've wet every fucking piece of furniture in my house, every hotel.
	It's worse than a...
	And it never happens with beer.
	Now, I can't get a buzz with beer, but I'm sure my tolerance will go down and eventually beers will exist.
	But I think I'm one of those Scotch-Irish where we're just not meant to handle hard liquor.
	He's a fag.
	The Term is desk.
	Oh, yeah.
	All right, Dick, you're on the line.
	Hello?
	Hello.
	Yeah, you're also producer shitty because you messed that comment up.
	But anyways, part of a requirement class, I'm a freshman at the University of Michigan, is a class called Reading the Quran.
	And we had a guest speaker from Oxford on Monday tell us that the oppression in the West of women is actually worse than the oppression of women in the Middle East.
	And to that, I call bullshit.
	Furthermore, these professors are so insecure about attendance for their class that I lost an essay grade's worth of points on Wednesday for an engineering exam, to which the professor asked, why didn't I reschedule the exam?
	So I said, it's my major.
	There's 800 kids in the class, and you can't really reschedule things like that.
	Wait, I'm sorry, I'm confused.
	I caught everything, and that is fucking outrageous that they would lie like that and say that women in the West are treated worse.
	Although that's that, I have heard that argument.
	What the Islamists say is that we're putting them in a bag to maintain their chastity so we don't see them as sex objects.
	Okay, if that's true, why isn't it soft white cotton?
	Why is it black polyester in the Middle Eastern sun?
	But let me ask you, is it conceivable that there would be a class at your school called Understanding the Bible?
	I mean, maybe in the religious schools department, but not to the same rigor.
	And when I told him, because this guest speaker was, you know, one of these traditional Oxford gays, like he definitely spoke like one.
	I said that, well, you know, in the Middle East, they also throw gays off buildings.
	He goes, well, I've been to gay clubs in Jordan, and they don't do that.
	And I said, well, clearly I'm not talking about Jordan, dude.
	I'm talking about Iran, Iraq, Syria, those places.
	So if you've been to a place that doesn't throw gays off buildings and you're in the Middle East, then they don't throw gays off buildings in the Middle East.
	Simple logic.
	Yeah, all of them.
	That sounds great.
	I don't understand the part you're saying, though, about the class being delayed, the exam being delayed.
	What was that?
	No, sorry.
	So the professors that run shitty classes are very insecure of the fact that they run shitty classes.
	So they usually have a very high point system for attending the class.
	And I had to miss the class for an engineering exam, which she would not accept.
	So I lost points in the class because I had an exam for my major.
	I understand.
	That's less interesting than the other stuff.
	You don't think you need to include that next time.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Anyways.
	Just showing you how petty they are.
	And also, we were supposed to be there on Thursday, but there was a flood on the second floor because of the chem lab.
	So we had to have the class in the library.
	And then that man over in the library had to leave, and they ended up being in the cafeteria.
	So the cafeteria was packed at lunchtime.
	We could not get Fritos.
	Couldn't you picture a little teacher with some fucking social science feminist transgender class, though?
	She's all snarky and revengeful.
	Yeah, yeah, I don't care.
	If you're taking engineering in college, then you're smart and you will definitely get your money back.
	But as far as someone with not in STEM taking understanding the Quran and going 200 grand in debt, you're a fucking fool at this point.
	I'm sorry.
	These calls are not stopping.
	We got Austin.
	Well, we got to wrap it up soon.
	Hey, Davin.
	Yeah.
	Hey, like you, my colon, my colin, my repton, anus, beehole, asshole is absolutely destroyed.
	So I wipe front to back, back to front, side to side, tucked it in, go in circles, use a wet towel, and eventually have to end up in the shower if I'm at home.
	I can't shit in public because it takes me an hour to wipe.
	Since you claim you like asses, yesterday you said you'd put your face on Gene Simmons' daughter's butt cheek.
	I'm just curious if you think girls also might have this problem like you and I do because nobody has a cleaner asshole than I do.
	Yet girls take two seconds to wipe.
	So I'm just curious if you think they have a big baking strip on their thong.
	And the bigger the ass, the deeper and messier the shit.
	So my questions are, do you think girls have this problem?
	And how do you wipe?
	So I have the exact same problems with you.
	If I'm wiping, first of all, I went to biffy.com, free sponsorship here, free plug, B-I-F-F-Y.com, and I have a Biffy in every room in my house.
	And so my morning shits, of which there's about three, and that's usually all there is.
	Sometimes it's like four or five if I'm hungover.
	I blast the Biffy.
	It's freezing cold water from your tank.
	When you use the toilet paper to tamp after, it's clean as a whistle.
	And that's usually a good day.
	But when I'm abroad or, you know, traveling, oh, it's the worst.
	And what I do is I wipe and I wipe, and then I'll still look, and there'll still be a streak.
	So sometimes if I'm in a rush, I'll just say to my ass, dude, I got to get on with my day.
	Literally shitter, get off the pot.
	So I'll fold it up and make a man pond and just wedge it in there and walk around with toilet paper in between my fucking butt cheeks, which I'll take out three hours later, and it'll have, it looked like a woman with brown lipstick was like, oh, dabbing it.
	And then I'll throw that away.
	And I've seen a guy on the street on 6th Avenue stop, look both ways, and then sort of go like that in July.
	Because wearing a suit in July is a nightmare.
	And then I look down, there it was, a perfect square man pond with a little brown kiss on the side.
	And I wanted to high-five him.
	Been there, dude.
	Done that.
	But here's a trick I use that I'm not very proud of.
	Even at the airport, most disgusting bathrooms everywhere.
	So I'll flush, right?
	It's all done.
	I have my wipe, this shit everywhere.
	Flush, flush, flush.
	And then I'll see clean, clean water below me.
	Then I'll take the toilet paper and dip it into the toilet water and then wash my ass with toilet water water.
	And that seems to be the only way I can have a public shit.
	And to answer your question about women, no, they don't have this problem.
	You ever put your finger in a woman's ass?
	Roses.
	The worst that ever happens is if you really plunge in, you have a little ET finger that's pointing back at you.
	And that's their next perfect poo.
	It's getting finished in the 3D printer.
	No laugh there?
	No, their next perfect poo being made in a 3D printer?
	I was laughing at the image of this.
	I'm giving you too many good jokes in a row.
	God and Paul?
	God and Paul.
	Hi, I'm Paul.
	Rock and roll.
	All right, so thank you, caller.
	We got to wrap it up.
	What do we got?
	We got to wipe it up.
	We got like 10 more calls, man.
	So.
	Yeah, but are they going to stop after 10?
	I mean, they'll just keep coming.
	They just keep coming.
	Yeah, draw the lines.
	The nearest one was one minute ago.
	All right, let's just do one more call.
	All right, let's pick, though.
	Okay.
	Show of Albuquerque.
	I would take a four-body.
	I'm sorry.
	I would take an 8.3 biobas.
	That was that.
	George asking for recommendations on surviving being an alcoholic.
	My name is Connor talking about World War II.
	Mormons in Mexico again.
	He called that.
	Let's do the alcoholic.
	Okay, there's a couple more.
	Yeah.
	Alcoholic here.
	Ooh.
	George.
	Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	All right, so how do we survive being a drinker?
	I hear that you're stopping Maker's Mark.
	What do we do about the fact that if we're a daily vodka drinker, how do we survive this with our wives, our families, etc.?
	Well, the rule with alcoholism is it affecting your life detrimentally?
	Are you passing out on the couch?
	I'm sorry, you broke up.
	Are you passing out on the couch early, like at 8 p.m.
	No, no, not that bad.
	I'm still fully functional, but a daily drinker hardcore.
	Like, how many vodkas will you have?
	I'll go through at least a pint a day.
	Wow.
	A pint a day.
	And you're not slurring your words?
	No, not even close.
	And you have a normal dinner with your family.
	Are you married with kids?
	Yep, married with kids.
	So are you a fat pig?
	I didn't hear that one.
	I'm sorry we're breaking up a little bit again.
	But yes, it's a pretty crazy lifestyle.
	I'm trying to stop.
	No, hold on, hold on.
	Ryan, for some reason, Ryan wants to know if you're fat.
	I don't know why that matters.
	I'm not fat at all.
	I'm pretty fit.
	I'm fairly intelligent.
	What's your background ethnically?
	Are you Russian or Scottish or something?
	Hungarian.
	Ah.
	So you're having a pint of vodka a day.
	Do you wake up with a headache?
	Really?
	No, I actually feel pretty great.
	Do you wet the bed?
	I do not wet the bed.
	Never.
	It never has happened once in my life.
	It sounds like you should be giving Gavin tips.
	Yeah.
	I think we need to switch these calls.
	I was going to tell Gavin he should hook up like a catheter or something, but no problems in that regard.
	I have been arrested and, of course, you know, have had the occasional DUI.
	But as far as, yeah, my wife still loves me and everything's good in that respect.
	Is it possible that you could not drive?
	Like, do you have a bar within walking distance?
	I will occasionally walk to a bar, but it's like two miles away.
	So that's, you know, I'd rather drive.
	Okay, so the real problem here is not that you're an alcoholic, because I don't think I'd call someone an alcoholic if it doesn't affect their life and if they're still fully functional and not slurring and not sleeping on the couch and, you know, not waking up hungover.
	The problem is that these dumb laws with DOIs consider you a danger on the road.
	I would say that you could try sticking to beer or try Ubering or try getting a bicycle.
	I don't know where you live if it's too cold, but you definitely got to avoid drunk driving, especially if you already have one under your belt.
	So if you want to live in a world where you're not getting arrested for drunk driving, I would try Bud Lights.
	Otherwise, wait till you get home and just drink the vodka at home.
	It sounds like you got everything under control, my friend.
	Besides the DUIs, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
	I understand.
	Thank you very much, sir.
	Cheers.
	That's another thing, too.
	You could always trust an alcoholic when they're telling you that everything's all right and everything's fine.
	I don't trust him.
	I heard someone laughing at the end.
	Maybe that was like some, I broke some law right there by encouraging like a fellow.
	Like people are watching me like a hawk right now.
	No, that was him laughing.
	I just potted it up so it sounded distant.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	If I fucking fart sideways on a Thursday, I'm going to fucking prison.
	Every text I have is monitored by the NYPD.
	I've been told from the lawyers working with Johnny Max that all our correspondence is recorded.
	Everything's public.
	All my emails are public.
	And that's just the truth.
	There's also a million lies floating out there about how I'm a Nazi and I'm fucking calling Obama a monkey and trying to get people to kill each other.
	Sometimes I see it and go, I said choke a tranny?
	Holy shit, that's insane.
	I want to just go insert.
	And then I look at the context and it's these Antifa are horking in Trump supporters' faces and then saying, you can't hit me.
	I identify as a woman.
	It's called InstaTranny.
	Oh, choke that tranny.
	Okay, I got you now.
	Johnny Apple CBD.
	Go to jacbd.com.
	Johnny Apples is the...
	CBD is the seed here.
	JACBD.com.
	Johnny Apple is the only CBD brand that will satisfy you.
	I'm going to change some of this reading here.
	It's founded in 2015 with Quality in Mind.
	It's made using U.S. grown hemp and third-party testing.
	This is a pro-free speech company that is supporting free speech.tv.
	It's not random that they chose us here.
	We didn't reach into a box of sponsors.
	They are aware of who we are and what we do, and they support the cause.
	So when you go to jacbd.com, you are supporting free speech.
	And when you go there, make sure you use the promo code GAVIN at the checkout.
	That's 20% off.
	You will not get high, but you will feel great and have the best sleep of your life.
	Make no mistake, anytime you order from a different CBD company, Antifa and the Terrorists win.
	I mean, they put that in as a joke, but it is kind of true.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.

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