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Oct. 31, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

54:15

GOML LIVE #19 | SPOOKY

Halloween is about appropriation. Everyone who dresses up is ripping off the gaelic culture of Samhain but that’s ok. We don’t mind. The humorless left, however is so uptight, they have the New York Times bitching about hilarious memes. This brings us to sex with your wife, women in bars, solar cars, and Deadspin employees quitting their jobs because they have to talk about sports.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McInnis.
	Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McInnis.
	I was advised not to use the song Sam Hane to start the show because we're on thin ice here on the tube Anything could be the straw that breaks the YouTube's back.
	But yeah, that song by Glenn Danzig of Misfits.
	Mother!
	Tell your sister that I'm coming her way.
	I forget how it goes.
	Mother!
	Yeah, tell your children not to come my way.
	Tell your children not to come my way.
	You should do it as Trump.
	Frankly.
	Mother, tell your children not to come my way.
	Wait, wait, hold on.
	Bom, don't do bom, bom, bom.
	Frankly.
	Bom, bom, bom.
	Mother.
	Bom, bom, bom.
	Tell your children not to come my way.
	Bom, bom, bom.
	Tell him not to hear my words.
	What I do, what I say, mama.
	Go back home to mama.
	A lot of people, a lot of people come through the front door.
	He's kind of like Chris Rock.
	A lot of people come through the front.
	Knock, knock.
	How could terrorists be like hiding in caves?
	I love that.
	A lot of people would come through the front door.
	Knock, knock.
	Hello?
	Anyone home?
	Not these guys.
	We're talking, of course, about Trump's press conference we mentioned earlier in the week.
	This is you cheapskates who watch the free show.
	You think we spend all week making this show.
	No, we spend like an hour making this show.
	We do one a day.
	We just give you a free one on Thursdays because we're copying it from Steven Crowder.
	Another song I wanted to do was Massacred in Dismembered Culture by MDC.
	That's a song about the Indians.
	And it starts with... I'll tell you what.
	I did a sweat lodge with my wife's tribe.
	And... I can handle anything if we know the ending.
	Like at the gym, today we did these... What's it called?
	A circuit.
	So you take a...
	Whatever it is, a barbell thingamadoodle?
	The weight?
	Did I get paint on me here?
	And you go like that, and you do that for 45 seconds, and push-ups for 45 seconds, then plank for 45 seconds, and the kettlebell for 45 seconds, and then slam the medicine ball for 45 seconds.
	So I know what's coming up.
	And I know we do that three times, and it takes about half an hour.
	E's, P's.
	But in the Sweat Lodge, they go, we'll do one more song and then when they open up the front, it's just like cold air comes in and it's heaven on earth.
	But before that, it's hell.
	And they go, okay, we're just gonna do, and I say, okay.
	I can live with that if I know what's coming.
	It's like if you're on a plane.
	Some people don't wanna be woken up.
	I wanna wake up.
	Wake me up if we're crashing.
	I wanna know what's going on.
	I don't wanna go softly into that good night.
	But the songs were, hey, hi, ah, hey, hey, ah, ho, no, hey, oh.
	You're like, all right, that was, let's wrap it up.
	Hey, ah, hey, hi, ah.
	They could also have been fucking with me.
	Another distinct possibility.
	It's hard to know where to take the beginning of the show.
	Should we go the Indian route?
	Is that white guys doing it?
	The other thing I was thinking in the sweat lodges, how do you know that we're not dying?
	You're not a doctor.
	I want a doctor here to measure my temperature.
	I think we're dying.
	And I did hear a story about there's these one-man sweat lodges where this guy cooked himself.
	And they went to pull him out, and his meat came off the bone like a delicious rib.
	But before we start the show, I'd like to thank my sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD. D.
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	I used the gummies the other night.
	I was getting the horrors or as they call them in Ireland, the hires.
	And it helped immensely with that.
	And as we discussed on another show this week, we learned what the hires are.
	I thought the horrors were your body saying, I've run out of water to clean this blood.
	Can you go have a glass of water?
	No.
	There's two drugs in your body.
	One is to mellow you out.
	One is to freak you out.
	And when you take, um, when you drink a lot of booze, the one to mellow you out takes over.
	Because it's chemically infused with booze.
	But then the one to freak you out goes down here.
	So the body goes, uh-oh, the one to mellow you out is too powerful.
	We need to up the one to freak you out.
	And then when the booze wears off, it's just freak out.
	And that's usually around 4 a.m.
	What's the name of those, either of those drugs?
	It's like, Go Heart?
	Bat Hat?
	I'm looking into it.
	If you look up the horrors in our email, you should get to that.
	The horrors.
	Because it's helped me, when I have the horrors, realize, oh, I know what's going on right now.
	The Bat Hat.
	Look, am I have to fucking do this, Ryan?
	Why are you so useless at everything?
	Watch how fast this is.
	Go over to the email.
	You look in the search bar.
	Horrors.
	Oh, here we go.
	The horrors are from this letter from James, and the drugs are gaba and glutamate.
	Why is that so hard?
	The horrors.
	Were you spelling it like prostitutes?
	Nope.
	Well, what happened?
	Let's get to the bottom of this.
	Let me see.
	Horrors.
	It should be the first thing that pops up, no matter what's archived.
	It wasn't searching all.
	Oy vey.
	Do you believe what I have to go through, people?
	And I guess you do, because you probably are associated with millennials in some way.
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	If Eva Mendes takes you home and you're so freaked out you can't get up, she's never going to call you again.
	You need to be ready to perform and that's why We're so against flip-flops.
	What if someone slaps your girl?
	You're now fighting in your bare feet.
	Don't wear flip-flops.
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	I'm boiling already, and I don't have a shirt on.
	Why is this studio so hot?
	I don't know.
	I'm doing all right.
	Why is Halloween so hot?
	It's 70 degrees today.
	Sheesh.
	When is this gonna end?
	I didn't know I lived in fucking Florida.
	Now I'm in a pissy mood.
	It's dry heat, though.
	Oh, shut up.
	It's not dry heat at all.
	I'm soaking.
	And if we put on the AC, then it'll bother the viewers.
	Alright.
	Let's start the show, shall we?
	Samhain.
	I love Halloween, and I know that a lot of people see this and they go, hey, you're appropriating native culture.
	I would like everyone to know that if you celebrate Halloween, you are appropriating my culture.
	Samhain is a celebration that goes back, they say, 2,000 years.
	I think prehistoric Ireland is more like Neolithic.
	It's more like 5,000 years old.
	And we had guys in Ireland, pre-Celtics, pre the Scottish soccer team, Who had little grass huts and they had, uh, there we go, and they had mud huts and they had those huts that are just grass.
	It sort of looks like Africa today, basically.
	I guess I'm implying that some countries are a thousand years behind others, but anyway.
	And during that time we were pagans.
	People say they want to end the patriarchy.
	We tried that.
	Paganism was a matriarchy.
	And what did we do?
	We sacrificed babies.
	We gave virgins to the gods.
	And we had this bizarre celebration called Samhain wherein I guess there's a sort of an opaque wall between the dead and the living, and it fluctuates over time according to the sun.
	The pagans are all about the sun, right?
	So on October 31st, the day of the harvest, the line between dead and alive is at its most thin, and sometimes some ghosts can come through the barrier and plop onto your front doorstep.
	There's many things you can do to thwart that.
	You can put food in the front of your house.
	Maybe they'll go grab an apple.
	Why the fuck would a ghost want an apple?
	I'm gonna go invade that.
	Whoa!
	Forget it.
	And then he's trying to bite it.
	He can't get his teeth in.
	You could also walk around dressed as a ghost so they wouldn't recognize you.
	I personally think the Irish are drunks so they're getting pissed on mead or whatever and when you're partying you want to be with your dead friends and you know the death rate back then was probably like 20 so you want to hang out with your fellow 20 year olds who died so they can come.
	We write it into the contract that as the dead are moving around, some of your buddies can come party with you.
	And they'd have these big ceremonies with antlers and big headdresses made of leaves, and they'd have fire.
	This one fire that everyone had to get their bonfire from traveled for miles.
	You couldn't have your own fire at all.
	It had to come from the same place.
	And you'd have these big cryptic ceremonies.
	It was all spooky and weird.
	And your dead relatives would show up and party with you.
	And then sometimes bad relatives would be there.
	So you're dressed as a demon.
	So if the bad ghosts came to talk to you, you'd just be like, I'm also dead.
	And then when you saw your uncle, you'd go, psst, Strachan, it's me.
	You alright, pal?
	Yeah, I'm okay.
	Hey, why didn't you tell anyone you're gay?
	No one cares.
	It was like, well, you died in 2017.
	I mean, you could have come out any time after 1980, and it would have been pretty reasonable.
	The fuck?
	You could have been smoking hogs the whole time.
	Instead, you live with Nana.
	What was that about?
	Look, are we gonna dwell on the past here?
	You think I come back to Earth for one night to get interrogated about homosexuality?
	Do you fuck male dudes, male ghosts?
	Look!
	That's enough!
	And then... Spooky!
	Spooky!
	And then, uh, the Catholics showed up.
	The Romans.
	I think this is about the 7th century now.
	So it's been thousands of years!
	Samhain has been going on thousands!
	Let's say, isn't that 9,000 years?
	2,000 years ago?
	7th century AD?
	Am I stupid?
	Yeah, I think I am.
	That sounds good to me.
	700 years ago.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	If it was 2,000 years ago when it started, then it probably went the birth of Christ, right, was 2,000 years ago.
	So it started around the same time as Christ?
	I'm having some troubles here.
	That's about right.
	But it took a while for the Christies to make it up to Ireland.
	Maybe the year 700 AD?
	Is that the 7th century?
	Fuck, I'm dumb.
	600 AD?
	Anyway, so it's been around for like 2.5 thousand years, and the Catholics had a good trick, which I support, where they said, this is a little dark, so we'll let you do your spooky monster night, but then we're gonna match it to Hallow's Eve, where we worship saints the next day, and then the day after that, I forget what the name of that day.
	All Saints Day?
	That's, that's Hallows, that's Hallow Day.
	That's the night before, uh, that's the day after Halloween.
	But there's another one after that where they worship dead Christians.
	They pray for dead Christians.
	Can we get back to that please?
	We're at 250 Christians being murdered every single fucking day.
	Nobody's talking about that.
	90,000 Christians a year are murdered by islamicists.
	How about a day to recognize that?
	We had one, right?
	It's Thursday.
	It would have been Saturday.
	Hey Saturday, can we pour a little bit out for our dead homies?
	Our dead Christian homies?
	Uh, and then the Irish brought it to... So it became a European thing.
	The Spanish brought it to Mexico, which is why they do Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead thing with their skull masks, which look really cool, by the way.
	And then the Irish and the Scots brought it to America during the Potato Fam in the 1850s.
	And they brought their silly little customs like playing pranks and getting wasted and vandalizing people's homes.
	And that went on for almost 100 years.
	And like in the 1930s, Halloween in America was sort of like the purge.
	You were dead if you were caught walking the streets.
	And you know who ran the streets?
	You know what gang ran the streets?
	Children.
	It was their purge night.
	So they would vandalize your property, scare the living shit out of you.
	Run around at night terrorizing people.
	They ran the show.
	And, uh, eventually the tricks became a bribe.
	Here's some candy.
	It's extortion.
	Oh.
	Please don't vandalize my house.
	And I think that's Scotch-Irish culture.
	Trick or treat.
	Yes.
	One or the other.
	You pick.
	And the trick is, like, your windows are smashed.
	Yeah, just a trick.
	But so that's Scotch-Irish culture, but then the German Protestants.
	So after World War II, when we had some prosperity, the Germans decided that, or I shouldn't say the Germans, the people of Germanic descent, they were no longer very proud of being German, we just had a world war.
	But in the 50s, the people with German DNA, The Protestants said, yeah, no more of this.
	And they imposed order.
	And then it became a much more family friendly, less purgy kind of a night.
	That's 1950 till now.
	But it's still kind of true.
	Like I'm going to have this rule tonight at the house.
	If you have a shitty costume, you're getting a smarty.
	I'm going to have full bars for people with good costumes, but I bet you I get vandalized.
	I bet they smash this pumpkin for it.
	That's the price you pay.
	It's called justice.
	Anyway.
	That's the price you pay.
	Oh, speaking of the price you pay, have you heard about this Deadspin controversy going around?
	What number is that on my notes?
	I think it might be the end.
	Or did I even include it?
	Deadspin employees.
	Deadspin is a sports site.
	And they were told... 13.
	Yeah, 13.
	They were told, look, stop writing about social justice warrior shit.
	Have you ever heard the term, get woke, go broke?
	It doesn't pay the bills.
	It's annoying.
	When you say intersectionality and shit like that, you bore the shit out of people.
	When you talk about how everyone is a Nazi and how, if you're talking about football, you gotta talk about the Redskins and how their term, their name is racist.
	Or if you're talking about football, you gotta talk about Colin Kaepernick kneeling down.
	Or if you talk about soccer, you have to talk about the fascists at games and how Antifa's fighting the good fight.
	Or if you're talking about women's soccer, you have to talk about how they're getting paid less than men.
	Might have something to do with the fact that they suck.
	Or if you're talking about cyclists, you've got to talk about this wonderful trans cyclist who is totally kicking ass and dominating at female sports and blah blah blah blah blah.
	When you do that you go broke because people can't relate to you because it's only interesting to the select few who took these crazy classes in high school like philosophy of self was one when I was in school.
	Philosophy of love was another there was one called rock and roll I'm taking that's that was crazy to me in 1988 when I started going to college, but now rock and roll is basically math to them And so they said We're either fighting for justice and defending ourselves against President Donald Trump, or we quit.
	And the editor said, fine, I don't think you get this.
	We're going bankrupt if we keep with this esoteric shit.
	A mass exodus is happening at Deadspin in real time.
	Right now, and it's breaking my heart.
	Even if these people, group of reporters, commentators, and critics I have profound respect for are doing something brave and noble.
	Now, you ready for a kooky take?
	Trump?
	Of course I am.
	Love cookie takes.
	Most people.
	And taking cookies.
	They go through the front door.
	They knock on the door.
	Hello?
	Anybody home?
	I come around the side.
	I'm gonna flank it.
	I agree with them.
	What do we say at this show?
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	These people are convinced that they're doing the right thing.
	They're convinced that their editor is doing the wrong thing.
	They may be factually wrong, but if that's your conviction, then stand by your convictions.
	Die with your boots on.
	If you're a flat earther and you work at NASA and they said you either could agree that the Earth is a sphere, Or you're fired, say fuck you.
	I'm a flat earther.
	See, when I say stand up for yourself, I'm including people who are wrong.
	And I still think it's relatively healthy.
	I think they will realize that they were wrong, and that it wasn't hardcore as hell, and that they were pushing for their boss to go bankrupt.
	And that's a good lesson to learn.
	My grandfather, Johnny McInnes, was the head of the Communist Party in Glasgow.
	He was head of the union at his paper mill, and they kept pushing up the workers' wages until not just that paper mill went under, that newspaper, but the entire newspaper industry.
	Glasgow used to be where all tabloids came from.
	They invented the concept of the tabloid.
	The New York Post.
	That's Glaswegian.
	They blew it.
	So this is a good lesson to learn in capitalism.
	Like I saw this woman on Shark Tank, and she had spent about $200,000 of her brother's money on fridge decals.
	It's a giant laminate you put on your fridge, and it could be anything.
	It could be a night sky.
	It could be a horse.
	What?
	And it's going to make your fridge look better?
	Basically, she just bought a bunch of sheets of magnetic paper that were fridge-shaped.
	And fridges are all shaped different, too.
	And I just thought, you learned a good lesson.
	It's unfortunate that you blew $250,000 of your brother's savings, but that's capitalism.
	You try shit out.
	I had a restaurant.
	It failed.
	I had an app with the rapper Nas, where you get to use the store's Wi-Fi.
	And we were very successful with that.
	Sold it for a fortune.
	Swarm.
	Is that what it was called?
	Did I forget the name of my own company?
	Fridgefronts.
	Oh yeah, there's Fridgefronts.
	Look at that.
	Uh, no.
	The answer is no.
	Every time I watch that show, too, I'm just going, fucking say yes, you bitch.
	Say yes to anything.
	You're already in a free commercial that's taking up five minutes of a major network's time.
	Um, so yeah.
	They're wrong, but I support this.
	What was the name of my company with Nas?
	Nas?
	Let me just do it myself.
	Swarm?
	Yes.
	Was it?
	Swarm, a mobile tool for retailers.
	Raises one million from Nas.
	And co-founder of Ice, Gavin McInnes.
	That went great.
	The ad agency that went under when I said trainees are just mentally ill gays.
	That went great.
	We sold that to Havas for a fortune.
	Learned lessons.
	I'm not a restaurateur.
	I wrote comedy shows.
	Pilots for comedy TV.
	None of them got picked up.
	I mean, they paid for me to write them, but they never went to air.
	Okay.
	That's not for me.
	You know what I'm saying here?
	Anyway, any his.
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	Mmm, let me think.
	I'll think about it.
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	Easy.
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	Sorry, on her cervix.
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	Sepsis, yeah.
	Yeah, would you essentially shit yourself, your body, your inside?
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	I'm getting really good at these.
	Did you hear that?
	Yes.
	That wasn't one stutter.
	I have a gift.
	Hoo, ha, hoo, hoo.
	Ba-da-da-da-da.
	Speaking of Trump, you're not going to believe this.
	So that bitch who we all love, the German Shepherd who killed Baghdadi, right?
	She's literally a bitch.
	Someone tweeted out this picture of... What's her name?
	How come we don't know her name?
	Are they keeping it private so she doesn't get doxxed?
	She doesn't get doxxed, yeah.
	I've heard that.
	Really?
	I scrolled past something like that on Instagram, yes.
	I guess that makes sense, right?
	They're not releasing the dog's name.
	If they find her name, then they go to that particular canine unit and pull up the whole thing.
	They look in the phone book.
	Yeah.
	In the yellow pages.
	So someone, and I cannot say this word clearly enough, clearly photoshopped a picture of the dog receiving the Congressional Medal of Honor, right?
	And the New York Times' headline is, that's not real.
	This is like, I love that Greg Gutfeld called Brian Stetler a turgid tattletale, and Ezra LeVant said, I go to report on Tommy Robinson and pull my phone out, and everyone's talking about how I broke the law of, because journalists aren't allowed to have their phone in the old bill, the old Bailey or whatever it's called in London.
	And he goes, they're all tattletales.
	That's what journalists do now, they're tattletales.
	They're even sub-activists.
	Journalists were journalists, then they became activists, now they're just snarky little bitchy snitches.
	And so they see this, and instead of going, I don't find that funny, they're totally humorless.
	They're like that fat lesbian you knew in college that was offended by everything.
	They're offended by this, and they call it Trump Tweets Faked Photo.
	It's not a real picture!
	And everyone with even a grain of a sense of humor goes, what are you doing, journalists?
	Is that who it is?
	What a pussy.
	Niraj Chokshi and this chick.
	Karen Zraik.
	Imagine how gross their sex is.
	How unadventurous it is.
	Do you think they sex?
	No, they don't fuck.
	I mean their individual sex.
	Anyway, so they're a little flummoxed because when they say, it's fake, people go, yeah, thanks for the newsflash.
	And then they go, well, it's degrading to the original guy.
	What's his name?
	James McLogan.
	McGloin?
	I wonder how James McLaughlin feels.
	And he goes, you know what he said?
	He goes, I thought it was pretty funny.
	I thought it was good.
	I gotta be honest though, I'm kind of worried about the dog.
	Did he get hurt?
	I mean, I'm a medic.
	I was a medic in Vietnam.
	So once a medic, always a medic.
	But I know it sounds kind of school mommy-ish, but I am worried about the dog's health.
	But the picture, that was funny.
	Fucking idiots.
	The humorless left.
	I was returning, I bought, I've been getting more and more perverted It might be this testosterone supplement I started.
	Calisepine or something.
	It's to help women be more fertile.
	But with men, it tricks your balls into making more testosterone.
	And I've noticed at the gym, the heavy bags just, I punch the heavy bag and sand comes pouring out.
	Wow.
	What?
	You punch it so hard that the filling of the thing leaks?
	You are worrying me now.
	This is like the Vimeo video.
	It's very strong.
	I got a strange notice from Vimeo this morning that said I'm banned for violating and I thought, oh yeah, I forgot I even had a Vimeo account.
	I haven't used it in eight years.
	And so I went, I found it on my computer.
	I go, wait, it's still up.
	You said I violated your guidelines.
	So I thought, maybe they're about to take it down.
	They're giving me 24 hours.
	So I go, let's unload everything.
	And the only thing I had there of value is this documentary I made with Penny Rimbow of the anarcho-punk band Crass.
	And he's talking about what inspired Crass, and arguably an anarcho-punk movement, and unfortunately Antifa, was his friend Wally Hope was this sort of revolutionary hippie back in the 60s.
	And, uh, He started the whole, let's go to Stonehenge and have parties around Stonehenge.
	Before Stonehenge was just rocks.
	And the authorities, there he is, Wally Hope.
	They saw him as a threat, and they took him to a mental institution and sort of lobotomized him to death.
	The state murdered Wally Hope.
	Anyway, it's a good story, I downloaded it.
	But then I was looking at the other videos I have there, and it's all garbage, but one of them was this thing that got taken down immediately.
	This was big in like, 2008.
	And yeah, it was these, I think they're Christian, but they're hipsters.
	And wait, Brian, stop.
	You're wasting all of this gold.
	They were pushing, it was a GoFundMe to push forts.
	Oh, I wonder if I'll get a strike on YouTube because of this.
	Oh well.
	It's inevitable.
	We can't not do the show.
	This is my problem with Clown World.
	Clown World is grey.
	There's no mistakes.
	There's no typos.
	You don't wear this headdress.
	That's offending people.
	You can dress up as a Scotsman because you're Scottish.
	No swearing.
	No wondering.
	Larry Summers can't say, I wonder if men have more of a predilection to math and science than women.
	No.
	Cliven Bundy can't wonder about slavery.
	No interrogatives!
	Roosh V can't wonder if women would be a lot more careful about who they brought home if you weren't allowed to press rape charges after someone was invited into a home.
	He brought that up as a hypothetical.
	No hypotheticals.
	No colour.
	Ain't nobody got time for that!
	I literally don't have time for that.
	So I guess I'll risk playing this video that probably got me banned from Vimeo.
	But it's worth it, man.
	Get fired.
	Hi, I'm Wes.
	Hi, Les.
	I'm Ash.
	I'm Emmy.
	I'm Max.
	They all have the same amount of testosterone, which is zero.
	Interact.
	Engage.
	Give.
	Explore.
	Teach.
	Create.
	Share.
	Grow.
	listen interact engage give explore teach create share grow and empower this is like two three This is 10 years old.
	We've been doing this shit for a while now.
	This is not brand new.
	This is pre-Trump.
	Let me hear him.
	Let me hear them.
	You're asking questions, you're putting action to those questions, and you're learning to empower and be empowered.
	What does that mean?
	By participating in this asking, acting, and empowering, you're living out the in-between moments of your life.
	After all, your life isn't made up of bold exclamations, but days, hours, minutes, and Days, hours, minutes, seconds.
	Okay, now, speaking of Ryan worrying me, his takeaway from this is that these people are badasses and this looks super cool.
	No, that looks like a long fall.
	Yeah, Brian, when you fall at an angle like that, it doesn't hurt, especially when it's sort of British pastoral, uh, grass, and those look like those, uh... Cactus grass things.
	Yeah, that, what do you call the plants that hold a lot of water?
	Succulents?
	Those look like succulents.
	They're coming down at a crazy angle.
	That looks painful.
	They're not going down gravel.
	As somebody who basically, like, broke my cossacks.
	That just triggers me.
	I just, I see you landing on butts.
	Bad news.
	So when I say I punched a heavy bag and sand came out, I have no idea if Ryan thinks I'm serious or not.
	He believed me that my wife got, um, what's it called?
	Fireball.
	Tattooed on her neck.
	And I said, we're having a big fight about it.
	I'm really pissed.
	And he's like, wow, that's fucked up, man.
	Believed me for days.
	Yeah.
	And you believe me that I, do you believe me that I destroyed a punching bag?
	No.
	Okay.
	I wouldn't be surprised.
	Fireball seemed realistic, though, for some reason.
	I don't know.
	She's a mother in the suburbs, a middle-class woman with three children, and she picks them up from school.
	I was like, she's kind of kooky.
	And then she wound up thinking that we were joking her because they're like, there's no way he believes this.
	That's my favorite part.
	No, that's not really a part, Ryan.
	All she did was go, really?
	That's it.
	I thought she was laughing her head off.
	Yeah, she was laughing her head off in the car at you because we were on speakerphone, and you kept going, no way, holy shit, that's intense, so what are you doing now?
	And I go, well, I'm staying in a motel.
	But I don't understand, she's the one who fucked up, and I'm staying in a motel?
	And you're like, oh, that sucks, what motel?
	And she was laughing her head off in the car hearing you ask that.
	Right.
	I thought you told me that she thought she was being pranked.
	She was like, you guys are setting me up.
	No.
	Well, yes, for eight seconds.
	You were like four days.
	Anyway, um, the reason I bring up that punching bag thing and everything and how horny I am is I've been buying lingerie and stuff.
	And, uh, I bought these stilettos that are fuckin' intense.
	They're classy, you know, they're not like the cheesy stripper shoes, but I got them a size too small.
	So I go to Amazon and I go, I've never done this before, but can I take these shoes back?
	And they go, yeah, you click here, and then it goes, done.
	And I said, what?
	OK.
	And I thought, this can't be that simple.
	It didn't even tell me to print anything out.
	So I took a picture of the weird little icon it sends you.
	And then they go, go to a UPS store.
	We're good.
	So I go to the UPS store with just the box, not even wrapped.
	And it was exactly like Eddie Murphy's sketch, White Like Me, where he's white for a day and everything works out for him.
	So I go to the UPS store and I go, hey, these shoes are too small.
	I just give them to you?
	And he goes, well, do you get the symbol?
	And I go, I took a picture of this on my phone.
	And he goes, boop, all right, you're good, bye.
	He's gonna wrap him.
	He'll send them back.
	Don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
	I was in that UPS store, I'm not gonna exaggerate, for 17 seconds.
	That's amazing.
	As long as the Proud Boys fight that got two men in prison for four years.
	And I just thought, fuck, fuck capitalism.
	Like you compare that free market setup that UPS has to the post office where I'm told they don't even pay tax because they were they were around before the government.
	So they got some deal where there's no tax.
	They definitely don't pay as much tax as UPS and FedEx.
	I thought you compare the torture chamber that is the post office.
	Going to the post office in America is like getting in a time space portal and being zapped to Czechoslovakia.
	Or Stalingrad, or Venezuela, some shitty shithole socialist country.
	Even their shirts are kind of dirty and they have like things, their sleeves are coming out of the bottom of their things and they go back and they're gone for an hour back there finding the thing.
	And they're always like, that'll be 140 bucks please.
	What?
	Sending books to Canada is way more expensive than the books.
	Anyway.
	So, I thought I should tell you about my sex life.
	I actually, my wife put on this outfit with garter belts and everything, and I actually have footage of myself seeing her come out of her changing area and into the main part of the bedroom.
	This is not numbered, actually, so you'll just have to figure it out.
	This is when I just, the door opened and she was standing there.
	Oh my!
	That's her putting on the garter belt, like attaching the stockings.
	Yeah, and then... That's when I noticed the way it supports the boobs.
	And then this is her turning around, just coming up.
	Not yet, she hasn't turned around yet, but I can tell she's about to turn around.
	That's her turning around.
	That's her going, "Jessica, go pee first." She said, hold on, I'll be right back, I just gotta go pee.
	So that's me waiting for her to come back from the bathroom.
	What a fucking loser you are, sir!
	It's not even a good movie!
	Imagine being that excited about a chick, a magic chick, kicking ass.
	Kicking monsters' asses.
	It's a children's book!
	What?! !
	What is going on?
	What a loser.
	Imagine being in a fight with him.
	Dude, I need help over here.
	I'm trying.
	He would just faint.
	You'd show up, you'd leave the bar, and these two guys would go, yo, we got a problem with you, motherfucker.
	And I go, holy shit, this is it, dude.
	OK, I'll try to take this guy.
	And you'd look over at him, and he would just go.
	He would definitely just be out.
	What's those animals that faint all the time?
	Those goats?
	Yeah.
	Or I think there's, don't mice constantly faint?
	They get, they're so high strung that they get freaked out and just collapse.
	So that's how I feel when she's wearing lingerie.
	And then I also have videotape of the actual act when we make love.
	This is how I feel.
	And I think this is how most men feel when they're my age, 49, and your beautiful wife is paying attention to you.
	No, that was it.
	I just, I guess I didn't cue it up well enough.
	Maybe go like way in there.
	A little more.
	Yeah, that's about it.
	Yeah, there we go.
	We share a laugh with all my clients.
	You speak about what's going on in your immediate life or things that you're planning for in the future.
	This is her saying, "What kind of stuff do you want to do?" Expectations.
	Do you want to horse around first or just get right into it?
	I'm like, "Whatever you got." That's been the first time you've made a bed space.
	What the hell is she making there?
	This is his parents helping him out.
	That was a weird bed, did you see that?
	Maybe it wasn't fully extended.
	And then my mom would lay out rose petals for us.
	Here, jump ahead a bit.
	I've never seen anything like this before.
	Thank you.
	This is them on their date.
	I'm going to go home and probably blow up.
	It looks so expensive by the way.
	I think the Australian dollar is about 60 cents on the American and she's got all these 50s?
	The mom?
	It's a wad!
	I think it's like 3,000 bucks or more.
	This is my honeymoon. - - Jump ahead a bit.
	This is how men feel with beautiful women.
	Make a movie?
	No, thank you.
	She's in a relationship, by the way.
	She washes him first.
	I better get a washing if it's them.
	Okay, here's the question, Ryan.
	You're a dimwit.
	It was not good at philosophical questions.
	How do you feel about this?
	Is this more politically correct BS, or should it be legal?
	Is it prostitution?
	What should we do here?
	Yeah, why not?
	Say it as Trump.
	Frankly, I think it doesn't hurt anybody.
	And the little guy has to get it wet.
	Gotta get the peepee wet.
	Otherwise he's gonna be a sad guy.
	Why not?
	You have to, apparently you have to ejaculate about 50 times a year to avoid prostate cancer.
	So that's just helping him?
	And he doesn't look like he can beat off.
	Is his mom supposed to beat him off?
	I don't know.
	No.
	The answer to that is no.
	I don't know, maybe.
	So prostitution should be legal.
	I agree.
	Oh no, were there boobs there?
	No.
	I think I saw boobs, dude.
	Alright, we'll censor those.
	Yeah, I remember we were talking once about the Shame the Johns campaign and the angle was we don't like prostitutes.
	The reason they don't they really don't like prostitutes is because it lowers the property value in that area.
	But anyway, these women were saying we're gonna shame the Johns and that sounds okay because it's like we're gonna make these perverts suffer and we won't affect, we won't touch the prostitutes or hurt them.
	We understand they're drug addicts and sex slaves.
	But you go, okay, your vision of a John is like this dad with kids and stuff going to get some prostitutes.
	What about the burn victim?
	What about the guy with stubs?
	What can he, can he get a prostitute, please?
	He can't get laid.
	It's hard enough for normal people to get laid.
	Imagine your whole face was Freddy Krueger.
	That guy has, now, two people worked out a business deal where he gets something he needs, she gets something she needs.
	Mind your own beeswax.
	I'm being very politically correct this episode, aren't I?
	The beeswax.
	That's not very sensitive towards bees.
	But otherwise, yes.
	That was so unfunny, it was funny.
	That reminds me, by the way, speaking of trannies and stubs, Soph has a new video on the site that's very good.
	And she, I think, invented this word autoandrophobia.
	Now, autoandrophilia Is the sexual turn-on you get, or a very, very, very tiny number of people get, from the paraphilic tendency of a biological female to be sexually aroused by the thought of becoming a male.
	It's weird seeing a 14-year-old talk about sexual arousal, but whatever.
	And I guess in this metaphor, she's an auto-androphobe, Because she's phobic of the normalization of this tendency, but it's a pretty interesting video because she acknowledges that gender dysphoria exists.
	She goes, it is a thing.
	I'm not saying, she said, the problem is the way we treat it.
	And the way we treat it is we encourage it.
	So we say, oh, you're a woman who wants to become a man?
	Let's get started.
	And her contention appears to be, in this video, that it's not unlike a body integrity dysphoria.
	Which is an analogy I've always used.
	Where I believe it exists, but genuinely exists?
	40 people?
	There's 40 people in America who genuinely are women who want to be men or men who want to be women.
	Who have genuine gender dysphoria.
	The rest are just, as far as I'm concerned, are just playing dress-up.
	Why are you... I think it's a... I think it's an important analogy to bring up.
	Because what happens when you encourage, bid, body integrity dysphoria?
	Let's just call it body dysphoria.
	This is still, oh sorry, this isn't numbered.
	But it's right before math is racist.
	Right below self new video.
	Gotcha.
	Technically would be around 18.5.
	It'd be the equivalent of someone who is whole growing an extra limb.
	It does not belong there.
	OK, look, just pause.
	I never noticed that before.
	So he's talking about why he wants to amputate his leg.
	And these people do it.
	They do it themselves.
	They bind it up sometimes so the leg atrophies because it doesn't get any water to it.
	They freeze it to death.
	They saw it off.
	There was one Hollywood actor who said he was a war vet who had lost his arm.
	And he was cast in all these machismo veteran marine roles.
	Mostly out of sympathy, and then later it comes out, yeah, I lied.
	I lied.
	I just chopped it off.
	I thought it looked good on TV.
	Better call Saul Actor.
	Confesses to cutting off his own arm.
	What a freak.
	Lying about being a wounded war veteran.
	That is body dysphoria.
	How is that different from trans?
	You're literally chopping off a dick or, I don't know, turning it into a cheese blintz or something.
	But go back to that video.
	When that guy says that my leg doesn't belong, you can see him in his eyes going, what the fuck am I talking about?
	Let me see.
	It does not belong there.
	I could watch that one million times.
	That looks like he was at gunpoint.
	It's like he's never heard it before.
	And he goes, wow, that does sound insane.
	Maybe I'm insane.
	Maybe the problem is mental illness, not this pesky leg.
	It does not belong there.
	Holy shit.
	Imagine that was your brother.
	What's new, Max?
	Oh, uh...
	You know, still the thing with the leg?
	Wait, you weren't kidding about that?
	Oh no, I'm removing my leg.
	Oh.
	You'd start crying.
	Yeah.
	If your brother cut his leg off, you would cry.
	That's what I meant when I wrote that article, Transphobia is Perfectly Natural.
	I said, if your dad showed up and he was Christine at Thanksgiving, everyone would be high-fiving.
	They'd be bawling their eyes out.
	It's because you're mourning the death of your man-father.
	Yeah.
	And now he's now a lady.
	What this guy does is, well, keep playing the video.
	He folds it up and then stuffs it in his pant leg.
	Before he came out to me with it, I didn't even know about it.
	That's his gay lover.
	It felt like someone was coming out to me as gay or trans.
	Oh, so gay is a mental illness?
	And I could see how important it was for him and how nervous he was.
	My first thoughts were, that's unbelievable that my friend is having to go through this.
	Oh, I thought it was his gay lover.
	I've tried myself a few times by injecting medical grade alcohol into the limb, but there was intense pain.
	More pain than I anticipated because you could actually feel the alcohol drying up the muscles.
	There was a sense of feeling of success.
	You couldn't move it, but after eight hours, it was fine.
	I got in contact with a man who was regarded as what's called a gatekeeper and he knows names of surgeons who are willing to do an amputation for a set fee and what they would do then is they would give you documentation to say it was an accident.
	Alright, I can't take this anymore.
	I can't take this anymore.
	I've seen guys though who have done it.
	Like in other videos.
	It seems more common in Britain for some reason.
	Maybe because it's raining outside and they're bored?
	I'm gonna chop my leg off.
	It's something though, you know?
	I've already watched these senders.
	Just sort of getting sick of mucking about.
	If I chop my leg off, right, it would take longer to get ready in the morning and I'd have to get my little prosthetic put on.
	And I've already got a walking stick.
	Okay, I'm not sure I can wear this anymore.
	Oh look, he's already mapped out where he's gonna put it.
	I don't really know the... I don't really know the ins and outs of these headdresses.
	Is it blasphemous to put it on the ground like it is with the...
	A mask?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Oh look, what he's done.
	A nub.
	Also during the week, I also want to get to this because we're about to cut off the freebies and take calls.
	But before we go, I want to get to it.
	No, I should put this back on.
	This is stupid.
	I'm getting nervous about my wife's family wanting to kill me.
	We should get to the epiphany of the week.
	Which was I had Tommy Sotomayor on the show to basically took up the entire show and we were talking about how politics is downstream from culture, but we're realizing now that justice is downstream from culture and judges when they make it when there's a popular case and it's in the news.
	They now have to go by narratives, not evidence.
	And I think, I have to be very careful here because I don't want to disparage the judge, but when it came time for the judge to sentence those Proud Boys, the only narrative that was in the press was hate group roaming the streets, beating up random people for no reason.
	Probably some old Jewish gay woman, trans, getting her groceries.
	And she was just like, oh, I almost dropped that orange.
	Oh yeah, bitch.
	That was the narrative going on.
	So And that narrative was very carefully manipulated.
	Whenever John Kinsman's black wife was with him or touching him, the photographers were just like this.
	Then she has to go pee.
	He goes like this to get them out of his face.
	They get down on the ground to make it look like a zeke aisle, which I can't even do on this show or someone will freeze it.
	I always go like this when I'm talking about a zeke aisle now.
	So those, they're out there, zeke aisling.
	Um, and, uh, So at the end, if you're the judge and you say, I'm freeing these guys, this is bullshit, then the narrative is judge allows hate group to continue their wanton, reckless abuse of anyone who doesn't agree with them in the age of Trump.
	You always have to say in the age of Trump at the end.
	So that's why it's important to get out there.
	Like I wish his wife, John Kinsman's black wife, had done a million interviews.
	So then when the judge is there, And he says I'm letting them free.
	It's not as simple as letting hate group free.
	It can be like, obviously this guy's not a hate monger.
	Anyway, I may have just given it away, but this is Tommy and I discovering that in our conversation and realizing that's why we have to keep blabbing.
	That's why we need free speech.
	To obfuscate their narratives.
	Because when we're silenced, they do things like take the cameras away when John's wife shows up.
	Well, you know, there's two things amazing going on here.
	One, I want to go back to what you said earlier where you go, imagine this was 20 years ago.
	Like imagine when we were 14, we found out that there was this guy on our block who thought his son was a girl and had been feeding her these estrogen pills to prevent puberty or feeding him these estrogens.
	We would be freaking out.
	It would be international news.
	There'd be Germans in Stuttgart reading We'd be freaking out!
	And now it's just normal news.
	But the second thing I want to say is I think that judge, Justice Now, just goes by, well, what does everyone think of me?
	There's no more slamming the gavel down because you want the law.
	So at first it was like, oh, trans is big, right?
	Yeah, everyone's talking about that.
	Oh, if I stop this kid becoming a girl, I'll probably be made fun of and it'll draw a lot of attention.
	Okay, um, the boy can be a girl.
	And then all this other attention came and everyone went, what are you doing you lunatic?
	And she went, oh wait, wait, no, uh, the boy can also not be a girl.
	What?
	I just don't be mad at me.
	And you go, that shouldn't drive policy.
	Right.
	They, they wake up our politicians, our judges, hell, even the lawyers in many cases, they wake up and they do this.
	And And and and whatever way to any in the words of Freddie Mercury anyway the wind blows Um, I think you cut that too short Thank you.
	Because then we said you have to keep, well don't look it up yet, but that's why we have to keep being the wind that blows.
	There has to be more wind.
	Mm-hmm and also to be clear with the judge we were talking about the beginning there was that trans judge case where They said this woman said it was big last week that this woman said I want to keep my Daughter away from you because you won't let her admit that she's a girl and the dad was saying it's a boy You better not fucking give give my son hormone therapy and she said oh he's getting hormone therapy All right, and you have no no say in it And the judge went, okay, she's right.
	Cause she thought everyone, I don't want to be like a transphobe judge.
	And then there was a massive backlash and everyone went, what the fuck are you doing?
	You're taking a little boy away from his father and letting this psycho turn the boy at seven years old into a girl.
	And then she went, Oh, okay.
	No, I'm not.
	No, he can, he has rights to see the kid.
	So, if we're going to have a system where judges are swayed by narratives, then we need our narrative out there.
	Or else, we just have the left controlling the judicial system.
	It's bad enough that they control the media system, now they're controlling justice.
	Oh yeah, what about Fox News?
	Yes, okay.
	You're only saying that because it's a terrifying right-wing talking point.
	Duh!
	It's terrifying for you not To dose a little boy with estrogen and make him permanently infertile.
	Like those, those puberty blockers, they do some serious damage to a kid.
	It's only hurting kids more.
	You know, when they watch Fox News, these kids, these trans kids, they crack open a newspaper, let's say.
	Trans kids.
	That hurts their feelings.
	Why is that a word?
	Anyway, we should wrap it up.
	We're going to stay live for the subscribers and start taking calls.
	Uh, and colors.
	One point.
	None of this, like, my first question is in two parts.
	Also, I don't need Big Fan or any of that stuff.
	No preamble.
	Just like homeless people in New York.
	Can I have some change?
	No.
	Bye.
	Boom, boom, boom.
	Let's keep it short, fast, and sweet.
	Then we can get through them all.
	But I'd like to thank our sponsors, BATDSI, Blue Chew, and JohnnyAppleCBD.com.
	J-A-C-B-D dot com.

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