(Part 2 only on Censored.tv) That's where we get to do stuff that YouTube would poo-poo us for. GOML LIVE streams on Censored.TV every Thursday, taking your calls and hitting on all the things that are fun and good. After freaking out about the Mexican chick in Hobbs and Shaw, a caller asks why some guys are tit guys and some guys are ass guys. We then talk to a couple guys of Proud boys who are being attacked by "civil rights" groups for, I don't know, being employed? Turns out, a lot of these anti-hate groups are really just anti-Trump groups and they care more about getting illegals to vote than they do any real "social justice." Finally, we go through a boat load of letter and take a TON of calls.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McInnis. it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McInnis.
I didn't push the button.
Why did you stop me when I don't push the button?
What are you doing?
The button is... Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'm doing a show.
You push the button.
Music no stop.
Didn't we find out he has like another quirk that we forgot to add?
It sounds like you're doing the old one before that revelation.
We haven't done that guy in so long, I forgot all his quirks and quarks.
Yeah.
He says, excuse me, excuse me.
No, you said that you have, you know, stuck to the diet, but you've eaten pounds of sugar.
He had something to, I'll look him up.
Dr. Z, why are you lying to me?
Why are you lying?
He has a gold stethoscope.
Of course.
Doctor No.
I mean I'm laughing but I've been having these strange compulsions to do equally stupid things with my money.
Like?
Like Gucci sneakers.
Oh my god.
Milo is a bad influence on me and he took me out shopping to Yves Saint Laurent.
He bought like a $600 polo and he was looking at insanely expensive jewelry at Cartier.
That he bought.
Like just a gold chain there is thousands and thousands of dollars and it's this same gold chain.
Exactly.
What's the matter?
Steven is in trouble?
Dr. Noah Zardin.
What are you doing?
He's not Mexican.
Why does he have a Mexican accent?
He's like Iranian.
Did he learn English from the illegals?
Turn it up.
Oh my God.
Look at this.
Turn it up.
And he knows if he goes to any other hospital, he'll go to jail.
Because they're all unnoticed that he's abusing the system.
But if Stephen thinks he can come here and try to get some pensioners, then I'm going to just...
Look at this human.
Yo, what if he does go to jail?
What are they going to do with him?
Yeah, poor jail.
Go ahead.
Poor COs.
Take me in.
Oh my god, you know that if he went to prison he'd be up in the hospital part of it, getting washed and scrubbed.
Look at that, they have to put a strap around his... This is not what EMT signed up for, too.
Oh my god, look at those barnacles!
That's exactly what I was going to call it.
He literally has barnacles.
Oh, they want to take him to jail and stuff.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that is his golden step.
- What's he yelling about?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, they wanna take him to jail and stuff, and he wants to save his life.
- I'm a Christian man.
All of God's creatures, humans are the chosen ones.
They are made in God's image to a degree.
But, jeez, you get pretty, uh, uh, what's the word I'm looking for?
Nietzschean?
Nihilistic, when you see people like this?
I mean, who isn't watching this just going... Probably people that make coffins.
Hippocratic Oath and all, but...
Like if I had to operate on him, I would sort of go, oh I'm operating my head off, oh yeah, uh oh!
And then just like close something super important.
Some sort of tube that goes through the heart.
Nurse, what's that over there?
Like when Tony Soprano killed Christopher?
It was a very difficult situation.
Oh my god, I'm getting good at it, if you will.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Will you?
He really puts the hippo in hippo.
What is that giant tube?
That's his belly?
Yeah.
He puts his hands in there?
Yeah, it's a little hand pouch.
Oh my god, he is a fanny pack.
Turn it up.
So, send me home.
Steven, you're not gonna be alive much longer the way you live.
You want us to write you off as hopeless?
Then we will.
Okay.
Okay.
He's on Vicodin.
There is no hope for you.
I feel good.
Oh, that's opioids.
Yeah.
So you hate me?
Okay.
That's another one down the drain.
It bites the dust.
Why don't you get the scale?
Why don't you get the scale?
On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you want to listen to All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix?
10.
There's a naked lady in the other room.
She wants to do a dance for you.
Interested?
Okay.
When?
Now?
Okay, but we're not talking about that.
Now we're talking about the weight.
Are you kind of hungry, but you can't really picture yourself eating?
Okay, that's enough.
You know the I Like Your New Sunglasses junkie?
Now this is a special show, it's free, so we tend to over-explain things, but a common refrain on the show is this junkie I knew trying to adjust his Hello Kitty coffee machine, and his junkie girlfriend comes back in and she puts on her sunglasses because she forgot them and they're going to get butter for their pancake party that we all went to that sucked.
And as he's adjusting his Hello Kitty coffee maker, he goes, I like your new sunglasses!
It's become a saying.
We sell t-shirts.
I can pull one out right now that say, I like your new sunglasses.
But anyway, that same junkie would always go, you know, sometimes if I have to break up with a girl, I'll just do smack.
And then you're just like, whatever.
It's over.
And he dumped this girl lying on a couch like this so she's sitting normal on the couch and then he's sitting parallel to the couch so his legs are going over her lap and he's just like Yeah, it's not working out.
And she's like, what the fuck?
I loved you.
You broke my heart.
And he's just like, yeah, well, I don't love you anymore.
So that's that.
She's like, I don't understand.
I met your parents.
And you know, how can you not even throw everything away?
What the fuck have you done to me?
What have you done to me?
And he's just like, I guess I dumped you is what I did to you.
And he goes, it's so easy.
That's heartless.
Speaking of Doctor Now, I went to my doctor today.
I stole these cups.
Too bad I only managed to steal three.
You're not supposed to steal Gavin.
You're not supposed to steal Gavin.
He's married.
But if you show up in a black van, and you're all wearing Asian provocateur lingerie, you could probably steal me.
Argent provocateur.
I'll be screaming, because I don't want to get divorced, but if five females are watching, they're brunettes with slightly chubby butts, And they want to drive around my neighborhood in a black van, and when they find me, grab me, throw me into the van, and ravish me against my will as I scream and punch.
I'll try- I won't punch very hard.
Um... Will you scream loud?
I'll be like, Hey!
Get off!
Stop raping me!
What, are you crazy?
Get those tits out of my face!
What the- Now what happens- Leave it!
Stop it!
- What if she stops and she listens to you?
I'll go...
This is a concept I never thought of before.
Men encouraging women to rape them.
Yeah.
There, that's a rape joke that's funny.
Pretty much every time I get ready to go out somewhere, I'm dressing to try to be a rape victim.
Fingers crossed to get raped.
That's kind of, if you're a millennial male now, that's the only way you can get laid.
Yeah.
Is just go outside of your house, dressed sexy, and go.
Please rape me, please rape me, please rape me.
I was so lame.
Like if going to parties when I was younger, I would just sit and look cool somewhere with a drink and then just kind of lounge back and be like, this lap's open.
Well, that was a thing when I was in, in high school.
It was, uh, I'm asexual.
Did you have guys like that?
I don't.
We had like one, uh, one every year or so.
And the girls would go, wait, what does that mean?
I don't have sexuality.
I'm not gay or straight or anything.
I just am asexual.
What that really means is rape me.
It's like, please, jump my bones.
I'm gonna have my first swig from my new urine collection container.
I like how it's piss colored, too.
Tastes like yellow Gatorade.
Yeah.
Always get yellow Gatorade.
You don't want to have red teeth.
Or a blue mouth.
So I went to the doctors today.
Look.
Oh, ah.
I want testosterone.
I'm sick of Grover arms.
These are the arms the Lord cursed me with.
I actually blame the anarchist punk band Crass, because I became a vegetarian at 14 and didn't eat meat until I was 34, and this is what working out every day for the past two years, sparring in the gym, has gotten me.
Madonna's arms.
Not even quite Madonna.
So I go in there and I'm like, I want to get ripped.
And they go, well, this isn't what we do here, sir.
Do you have a low sex drive?
And I think of my poor wife who hides from me in the house.
Like if she's hung over and she's not gonna, she wants to sleep extra, she'll go hide in like the guest bedroom to avoid ravagement.
I'm constantly lurking through the house like Gollum, my precious, just trying to find her.
Her precious ring.
Actually, this video says, get Madonna's arms with this 10 minute workout.
So I guess her arms are kind of desirable for women.
They shouldn't be for women.
So, uh, but I don't know, like, when you talk to doctors, they're not your friends.
You notice they don't know how to riff.
So, I don't know how much to tell them.
So, I don't want to say, I don't give a shit about, dude, my testosterone's through the roof.
I'm a horn dog.
I have a boner every 10 minutes.
My balls are working overtime as it is, but I want to get ripped.
I want to fight and win.
And, uh, you can't say that, right?
They're probably worried you're miked.
What are those?
Is that Madonna's arms?
Yeah, that's a full breakdown.
Her medial deltoid, her anterior deltoid, the triceps brachii.
Those are weird.
Yeah.
They look like the Chinese bodies exhibit.
Yeah.
Michael deltoid.
Looks like a...
Like a collaboration between the Wax Museum and the Bodies exhibit.
That's a good lie to start saying if people say, well, who are you working with?
Uh, well, New York or LA?
In LA, I'm working with Michael Deltoid.
Michael Deltoid?
Yeah.
One of the top producers in Hollywood.
Oh, I haven't heard of him.
Yeah, he's really behind the scenes.
You haven't heard of Michael Deltoid?
Okay.
Have fun living in the dark ages.
Anywho, shall we go in there and I say, yeah, I could be hornier, would be, which isn't, it's literally not possible.
I'm masturbating right now using my feet.
The imagery of that is so bizarre.
It looks like a men in black character.
I guess guys with no arms have to do that, right?
I don't think, I don't see how you would.
If I had no arms, well they can do crazy shit.
They make a cup of tea, they do all kinds of stuff.
Fumble with a Rubik's Cube.
But that would be a good way to get a hand job from your wife, is just to have no arms and say, I mean I could do it with my feet if you're feeling cruel, or you could spend 20 seconds out of your day.
So I go in there and I just say, yeah, it was weird, too, because there was this black woman, attractive lady, who sits me down first and she says, Do you have a sex drive?
And I said, yeah.
And she goes, do you have trouble getting an erection?
Do you like to have sex?
And I said, are you hitting on me?
Did you really?
Yes.
And then she goes, I've obviously heard that many times.
Oh, okay.
And then I go, that would be funny though if you went to a bar and just said that.
Are you horny?
Do you have a sex drive?
Can you get an erection?
I don't have a lot of time.
So I, implied I did.
And then I realized while talking to the doctor how much bullshit I hear at the gym.
Because I was like, I understand there's one that can, that you take testosterone but then you forget how to make testosterone, you can grow breasts and it can lead to baldness and prostate cancer.
That must be so tedious to be a doctor and hear these assholes tell you about their job and self-medicate meanwhile they spent, you know, 12 years in medical school.
And it's like, ah, that's not true.
No, that one's not true.
But he said HGH is not the term.
So I don't think I'm getting testosterone.
I'm getting maybe a pill that tells my brain to tell my balls to make more testosterone.
And the beauty of that is when you quit, your balls still have life.
If you take testosterone, your balls shrink to nothing and they may never come back.
Wow.
And I know, we know a guy, right?
Whose name starts with the letter S, our ripped friend.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I said, what's it like having no balls?
And he goes, they do shrink drastically to like the kind of marbles you played with as a kid.
Whoa.
And he said, but it's only come up once.
A girl was blowing me and she was down there and I could see, I was looking at her and I could see her for a second sort of go, what the?
And that was like a fraction of a second of my life.
And then everything was great.
Interesting.
So then he goes, now I am uncircumcised, and we get a bad rap, especially from Aaron Burr at comedy clubs, which is why after he did an entire set on how disgusting foreskins are, I got onto the stage for an open mic and pulled out my penis and said, it's not that bad, and I am now permanently banned from the stand and can never return.
Though we have that footage on tape.
You're not gonna find it on YouTube, no.
Is it like Lively?
There's a giant The Stand logo, and they're not happy.
Oh wow, yeah.
Bunch of pussies.
Meanwhile, didn't Luis Gomez blow Bobby what's-his-name?
You know what?
I found out that was a fake peen.
That was a fake peen.
It looked real.
It looked very real.
I sent it to Anthony Kumi and he just said, what am I looking at?
So he blew a fake penis.
Yeah.
Is that so much different than blowing a real penis?
I don't think that was at the stand to be fair though.
I think that was at their... I know, but it's still New York comedy in 2019.
I moved here in the late 90s, so I'm used to... My New York's different than this pussy New York.
When I moved to New York, I was thinking of G.G.
Allen and Joe Coleman used to come out with mice.
No, he used to eat a mouse.
So he'd eat a mouse on stage, but he'd come out with fireworks all over his body and then light them up like a suicide bomber.
Back when it was dangerous, man.
I miss old New York.
So anyway, he, uh, I didn't really wash my penis.
And a foreskin after three days ain't nothing to write home about.
I will concede that.
But the truth is most of us clean it once a day.
So I was a little concerned about that.
And I also have a hemorrhoid the size of the inflatable Trump balloon that went up over London.
So specific and so disgusting.
And that's not great.
So my swimsuit area is nothing you really want to explore right now.
But he goes, all right, so drop your pants.
I'm going to explore your swimsuit area.
Yeah, that's my butthole.
That right there is on my anal lips right now.
Horrendous.
So he drops my pants.
And I did something weird I'm kind of embarrassed of too.
I grabbed it by the base and gave it a little shdunk.
Just to kind of be impressive?
It's like a newborn squirrel hibernating.
So it's kind of tucked.
It's literally stuck to the bag.
And it's kind of got this sad sleeping face.
That is such an accurate.
Yeah, my dicks look like that.
That's what my dick looks like when I put on my pants, right?
It's not like an erect porno dick.
It's just sort of like this sleeping fellow.
So I'm like, wake up, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
But I gave him a little shadoonk, and that sort of sounds like I'm fluffing it for him.
So it's a nice sexy cock for him to examine.
Hope this isn't censored on YouTube.
And he does pull it back a little bit, and he opens up the mouth there to see if everything's OK.
Nothing drastic.
And then he starts fondling my balls, makes me cough.
He says they're fine.
He loves my balls.
Um, I guess he's used to guys who come in there with small balls.
Ah.
Because I have a feeling he's gonna check my testosterone and go, dude, you need a testosterone reduction.
And I'm like, I, I'm, the horny's not a thing, but these, these little gardener snakes have got to go.
Look at that.
You compare.
It's not even a bump.
You haven't, you have not compared your balls to anything.
This is just like a leg.
It's like a thigh.
Um.
Anyway, so, uh, fondles my balls, and then he says, I'm gonna rape you now.
Bend over, whore.
Wow.
And he- he didn't quite say that.
But then I have to put my elbows on the thing, and he goes, No, you- he did that?
He put his finger up my butt.
I thought you were just going in for a- Me too!
Yeah, hashtag.
I haven't had a shower in three days.
And I warned him about the roid and then he goes, he plunged, dude.
Jesus.
Like I was Milo Yiannopoulos on his wedding night.
This was not like a little boop.
It was like, I could see his finger was like coming out of my mouth.
Oh, I see.
And you could feel it in the back of your tongue?
I see, you feel it in the back of your tongue?
What are you, Andre the Giant co-host of the year?
Oh, I get your joke.
You're saying, well, really deep?
Oh yeah, I get it.
So, yeah, he gets right in there, and then he said, I sense a lot of congestion in there.
Meanwhile, it's the middle of the day.
By the time an alcoholic Scotsman is in the middle of the day, he's had 342 shits and the last two were just clear phlegm with one piece of lettuce.
So there's no way there's anything in there at all.
I could, you could put a hot dog up my ass and then eat it and it would probably taste better because it's so clean in there.
I would clean off your hat.
You could clean your hot dog in my ass.
I have an asshole that can clean a hot dog.
Isn't that a Pharrell lyric from Nerd?
I dare you to clean your hot dog in my butt.
We were joking on a previous episode about the song Lap Dance, where Pharrell inadvertently includes a line, and I dare a motherfucker to come in my face, I'm an outlaw.
You dare someone to come in your face?
Why would you do that?
That's not a threat.
That's not what tough guys do.
Charles Bronson, or who is the guy, Robert something, who said, it was a big commercial in the 70s where he said, I dare you to push this battery off my shoulder.
Robert Conrad, I think.
And he's such a badass that you go, oh, I'm not pushing that battery off your shoulder.
What a weird setup that was.
I forget we can't play music on this.
No, we can't play music.
Yeah, that's right.
Ah, damn it.
See if you can find Robert Conrad Duracell shoulder, though.
This is back when men were men.
Not the most intelligent concept.
Yeah, there it is.
Dare you to push this battery off my shoulder?
I partied with him on Bill Maher's show.
And you know what he said to me?
What?
He said, When you're single and you're out there getting laid, fuck everything that moves.
Guys, just fuck everything that moves.
Too many men waste their time with 7s and 8s, and you want those, sure.
But as far as a Rolodex goes, you want the 4s, you want the 5s.
Just keep it going, keep it going.
Wow.
When you go out for dinner, yes, you want steak.
But what do you have?
You have burgers all the time, you have junk food, you have a bag of chips.
Get yourself a bag of chips, boys.
And Derek Beckles and I were just going, So there he is, being gorgeous.
And I'm no regular hunk.
He's on coke.
What the hell?
What the hell?
How did Stick sell well?
Maybe he's a robot.
And I'm no regular hunk.
He's on coke.
What the hell?
What the hell?
How did it stick so well?
Maybe he's a robot.
He's got magnets in his shoulders?
And what's he going to do?
Beat me up if I call that battery an alkaline?
I think so.
I thought it was, I dare you to push that battery off my shoulder.
Yeah, there's another one.
That must be an allusion though to some sort of prison thing, where you, I dare you to push these cigarettes off my shoulder.
Oh, maybe.
I hope, because if it's just, if they just invented that whole concept, I dare you to push a battery off my shoulder, that is the most retarded thing I've ever heard of, ever.
And that just shows you that everyone in the 80s was on coke.
This is how you sold batteries in the 80s to threaten violence.
- This is how you sold batteries in the 80s with threatening violence.
Buy these batteries or I'll kick the shit out of you.
I'll fight you over batteries.
Anyway, so he puts his finger deep, deep inside my bottom.
He says everything's fine in there, but then he goes, wow, it's really coagulated in there.
It's so weird to talk about in there.
What is this, poltergeist?
Like you went to the other side?
Are you gonna put a rope on a tennis ball and throw it up my asshole to go save a kid?
Go towards the shite!
There was a little girl who was staring at my butthole and then she just got sucked in.
That was seven years ago.
That's crazy, man.
We need that dopey little midget with the squeaky voice to get people out of my butt.
Or Mexican food.
Mexican food is much easier than hiring a psychic.
Anyway, sorry.
So I was going to do the, uh, I'd hope you'd at least buy me dinner first joke.
Right.
But I thought, are you hitting on me joke bombed?
And he's probably heard that prostate exam joke a million times.
So I foregoed it.
It was foregone.
And, um, We talked for a little bit longer, then I went and got my bloods done, where I stole these cups, and we'll find out in a day or so what I'm going to take, whether it's the gel or the pill or the injection.
And it's not, I don't think it's testosterone.
It's something that helps your body.
Interesting.
So, like, you're going to slowly see over the next 10 months, just a slowly hulking mass.
Interesting.
And then I'll just be going, what's going on?
Welcome back to FreeSpeech.TV.
Unfortunately, my IQ is a little damaged from the excess testosterone.
Today, we're going to talk about, again, tits.
This is another tits episode.
Today, we're going to talk about big areolas.
And I can only talk for 10 minutes because I've got to lie down.
They actually call me Areola Grande.
Even though I sound like Pete Davidson.
You're going to be a mashup.
You're going to be a whole couple.
Doesn't that sound like... What's the matter with you?
My heart hurts.
I feel like I got dumped.
But you know what I mean?
You ever have a pain that's just here?
A faint weakness pain?
Yeah, it's not heartburn or anything.
It's right here.
Yeah, I've had that before.
I had that, I think, yesterday.
You know what he sounded like?
That guy who did the He Will Not Divide Us thing?
He will not divide us!
He will not divide us!
That is Tony Redpill.
Uncle Tony Redpill.
Tony Redpill, yeah.
We should have him on the show.
Greg's new movie trailer came out and it kind of looks interesting.
Oh.
You wanna see it?
Movies are tough to pull off.
I mean, I hate everyone in LA, but when someone like Jonah Hill does a movie, you know it's gonna be good because that's the culture he grew up in.
When anyone else does it, they don't even have a laugh.
But yeah, let's see his new trailer.
So this is Greg the Greek.
He was with Tony Red Pill.
Yep.
I mean, he had them both on the show, moron.
Oh, it's a fiction?
Yeah.
It's a fiction movie!
It's like a gangster movie.
Oh, Charlie Boy!
Yo, what's up?
Alright, let's go.
It's like Schindler's List, it never ends.
Oh, did you tell that one at the club?
I'm sure your mob buddies loved that one.
Covered in blood?
That wasn't yours!
What was in that bag you had the other day?
Somebody's head, I suppose?
Never told you about my son.
I was supposed to pick him up from school.
I never caught the guy that did it.
I should have been there for him.
Never caught the guy that did it.
That's emotional.
Why does audio sound the same in all... Oh, that was the guy from Rocky.
Sometimes you have to help those who don't take care of themselves.
Charlie, I never got to thank you for getting me out of that tough spot.
I have people coming and turning me... You Charlie!
Okay, look at my hand.
We got it.
Yay!
It just looks like every other indie film.
No offense, Uncle Tony Red Pill.
I ain't trying to criticize you.
It's just that crappy audio and the weird lighting.
It always looks the same in indie films.
I'm not a fan.
Although, I saw Hobbs and Shaw last night.
It's finally on demand.
It is so effing good.
Holy crap!
Is it a good movie?
Although, at the very beginning, the bad guys are Nazi skinheads.
And they all get beat up and they have red suspenders and Doc Martens on.
In fact, that's maybe the second skinhead I've seen in 30 years.
That's the only place you see them, is in movies.
Oh, and here, by the way, you know how in movies, sometimes the good guy will get a few blows to the head?
They don't do it in this one.
They win every fight, hands down, no questions asked.
Wow, that's awesome.
Not one punch to any face ever.
No way.
- Yeah, well look at this scene. - Access granted.
Access denied.
Access denied.
This is me trying to fuck my wife.
This is me putting my penis against her butt.
In bed.
Access denied.
Access denied.
Adris Elba's the bad guy, so that's cool.
We have a black bad guy for once.
She's, of course, a ninja who beats the shit out of everyone.
Which is kind of lame.
But The Rock goes back to Samoa.
I think he is technically genetically Samoan, even though he's like Hawaiian, right?
Yeah.
And the Samoans fight the bad guys without weapons, just with like clubs and stuff.
I'm sorry to bring trouble here, Mama, but I need my brothers.
Let me do that.
The Once Were Warriors guy?
In fact, the brother is, he was the pedophile uncle from Once Were Warriors.
Those are their weapons.
You know, Hollywood talks all this bullshit about Trump and anti-masculinity and how they hate guns, and at the end of the day, that pays their bills.
So they're so disingenuous, like they sell patriotism while pretending that they hate it.
They're like drug dealers in a way.
No, that's a terrible analogy.
Drug dealers love drugs.
Yeah, what?
They're like evangelists who pretend they love Jesus, but then, you know, rip everyone off.
Yeah, that's a better analogy.
That scene was mental.
Anyway...
I highly recommend it.
My daughter and my wife left, so it was just the boys.
Nice.
I'm having a little bit of trouble selling, like, guys, it's dudes night!
No broads allowed!
My son just wants to look at baseball scores.
My other son wants to watch people playing Minecraft.
I'm like, we're not looking at math, and we're not looking at some stranger nerd play a video game.
We're watching stranger nerds use CGI to make tough guys play a video game of sorts.
I realized when I was watching it, too, I make fun of superhero movies.
How is this different?
Yeah.
Like, he does quadruple backflips into a helicopter, beats everyone up, and then jumps out the window.
And Idris Elba is half machine.
So he's basically Iron Man.
Oh, snap.
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is... There is a smoke show in this movie that is going to change your life forever.
O.M.
motherfuckin' G.
You know what happened to my six-year-old was sitting next to me on the couch and I didn't realize I was doing this but in the scene I'm about to show you I went it was like Kevin James in King of Queens when you know the ice cream store is closed or something and I was going And I heard my six-year-old look at me and goes, Dad, what's going on with your face?
And I had to laugh my head off because I didn't know what I was doing.
Dude, you don't know who I'm about to show you?
Okay, well, we have different types.
You tend to be kind of racist.
A little bit, yeah.
So this is not a white woman.
I'm sorry to break it to you.
Oh no, I like all sorts, just not Asians typically.
Alright, well, she's Mexican.
I think this is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Besides my wife, of course.
Oh.
What are those?
Those are my best friends.
Tit and Tit.
That's what they should have named the movie.
Yeah.
Hobbes and Shaw, working title, Tit and Tit.
It's a cool painting back there.
No, it's not.
That's a creature.
Look at her!
That's ridiculous.
What is that thing?
I don't know.
What is that?
She's hotter than Steve Hogan.
She's a circus freak.
She could be in the circus.
Step right up, the beautiful lady!
I'd pay five cents to look at her in the 1910s.
that's ridiculous what is that thing I don't know what is that she's hotter than Steve she's a circus freak she could be in the circus step right up the beautiful lady do do do do do do do I'd pay five cents to look at her in the 1910s yeah like next to the bearded lady and the world's fattest guy who was probably about 340 pounds yeah What's her name?
Her name is Aiza Gonzalez.
I can google her.
See I told you that Idris Elba was a robot guy.
Robot guy.
She could have Uncle Tony Red Pill's voice and I would still be in love with her.
Hey, how's it going?
I heard you liked me in Hobson Shaw.
I heard you talking about my tits.
What'd you say?
Working title tit and tint?
Well, here they are!
Oh, she acts like them too?
Yeah.
Okay.
What's up?
I'm Elia Gonzalez.
I'm fucking one of the hottest chicks in the world, duh.
Anyway, who has a cigar for me?
And I don't want a Lewinsky and I want to smoke it up here with this mouth.
That's her.
Can I Google her?
Can I Google her?
Ieza?
Reminds me of when my middle boy was young.
He'd make up all these cool sayings like, the Bob Marley has begun.
And doctors say when you read a book to love, you just fall apart.
And if I was having like a salt and vinegar, a recipe I invented, which you can have, it's salt and vinegar chips and you dip them in sour cream.
That's the whole recipe.
And he'd grab one and then he'd look at me and he goes, can I dip?
He's forgotten all of them.
And my wife and I are still, every time we see Dip we go, can I dip?
Look at her.
That lucky bikini.
I want to die and come back as a bikini.
Oh, she's got little star tattoos down there.
Ooh, you like the tattoos.
That's your takeaway.
Although bikinis kind of, I'm such a cool feminist that bikini shots kind of bore me.
Did you look up bikini?
I did.
Well, then you're gay.
And I'm gayer than you, because I like looking up just their style.
Because if they wear like Jeremy Scott or something, you know she's fun.
But if she's dressed lame, and she just wears big fancy stupid name brands, look her up without bikini there, you ten-year-old pervert.
You want to see her style.
A lot of red carpet type stuff.
I like this, just hanging out, just a chick.
And there's our best friends.
Hobbs and Shaw.
Hobbs and Shaw.
So that's an awesome movie you gotta check out.
Wait, I would Hobbs all over those and please Shaw me those titties.
You come up with a pun for that.
That was good.
It's sometimes difficult to differentiate what's humor and what's a pun.
A pun is the thing that's not funny.
Also in the trailer news, we talked about how Kingsman is a Proud Boys movie and we got about 10 letters going, that's amazing that the people who did Kingsman put out a movie that's all about the Proud Boys two years before the Proud Boys existed.
To which I would respond, touche.
That's an excellent point.
I guess now I'm saying it's a Proud Boys movie, same way Animal House is a Proud Boys movie.
It's not, they didn't do it on purpose.
But I'm still right.
It was actually a secret club for two years.
I think it's about time we tell people.
That only Hollywood writers, but anyway, they're all, everyone's into prequels now.
And the Kingsman trailer is also out.
And again, it looks totally nationalist, pro-Brexit.
It looks awesome.
And I guess it is kind of a superhero movie, because Rasputin is magic in it, right?
Oh, this is pre-World War I. I'm no history buff, but wasn't it all of World War I about some guy with a big mustache who got blowed up in his carriage?
Who's it?
Bismarck?
Until one day, we found ourselves noblemen.
But that nobility never came from chivalry.
It came from being tough and ruthless.
See, what's great about the free market is there's this massive war on masculinity going on.
And there's a massive demand for masculinity.
So politicians and the media push the bullshit narrative about how all men have to die.
Meanwhile, the free market goes, actually, people like masculinity.
I think I'll make some bucks on it.
And how they can be defeated.
There's a big British flag coming up.
Oh, that's the guy with the mustache getting killed.
Where's the British flag?
Thank you.
Did I miss it?
Or are they... Is this a different trailer?
A different trailer?
I guess the Union Jack's offensive.
But speaking of the war on men, I keep getting people sending me emails about getting fired, and I just sent you one from my buddy Nick.
Oh, no, no, sorry, sorry.
Wait, wait.
Before we get to that, I want to talk about this other guy, Kevin Wilcox, who sent me a letter.
I'm a police officer for Connecticut, former proud boy.
I'm in the process of being attacked by a law firm in D.C.
They sent a letter to my chief.
The link is right below this.
Sorry, I didn't number it.
We know they sent a letter to my chief and accused me of being friendly with white supremacists and white nationalists and donating to a group that furthers their violent ways.
We know their endgame is to get me fired.
My chief's been okay so far.
They called their buddies at the Associated Press and had them do an article on me.
And then he's asking about my lawsuit with the SBOC.
I'm gonna do a big, intensive look at this narrative myth that there's YouTubers or people on the internet out there radicalizing innocent young boys, incels, like the movie Cuck.
There's a guy who, they always look like me, by the way, who's out there saying, we gotta take our country back!
We gotta kill!
And then some poor bastard goes out there and starts killing everyone.
And that's what the mass shootings are.
That's Dylann Roof.
That's the mosque shooting in New Zealand.
Total and utter myth.
First of all, this is the guy Kevin Walcox.
First of all, if you want to include New Zealand, you have to include the world.
And we have something like 90,000 Christians killed a year by Muslims.
That's 250 a day.
So I wouldn't include the world if I were you, you're going to lose.
So if we just focus on America, You have to really work hard to ignore the mass shootings that don't fit that narrative.
And you have to ignore the trans shooter.
I think I sent you notes about that.
We just discovered that this trans shooter was mad because, um...
They wouldn't call her him.
That's what inspired that mass shooting, but that didn't make the cuts.
And then we have the Dayton, Ohio shooting, which was Antifa.
And then we have all of these Muslim attacks, the West Side Highway, San Bernardino Park.
So you have to ignore all those.
In order to push this narrative.
And so I'm just going to go over the past 10 shootings and show you that these people are not radicalized online.
And the real impetus for fighting hate is gaining control, power.
And you see this in voting.
So they say, we need to shut down Proud Boys, they're white nationalists.
What they really mean is these guys are too influential and they're making Trump look good and we have to stop Trump from getting elected.
There's a lot of money going into making Trump supporters look like Nazis.
And it has nothing to do with them and their political beliefs.
It has to do with the effectiveness of that stupid fucking allegation.
So this guy Kevin Wilcox, do you have the article?
The Civil Rights Group's executive director says she, well, what do you know, was astounded by the chief's refusal to take any action against the officer.
Wilcox didn't immediately respond to calls seeking comment.
Wassner said Tuesday that there is no question that Wilcox is not a white supremacist.
They're not great at grammar, those cops.
But he's definitely not a white supremacist.
So I looked up this group and they're called, what are they called?
The Lawyers Committee, this is below that, sorry.
Oh, got it.
I didn't, we're abandoning our awesome system because I had to go.
So they're called, what are they called in the top right there?
The Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under Law.
The Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under Law.
Now pull up the picture that I showed you, that I emailed you.
Okay.
So this group is about fighting hate.
That's good, that's noble.
Kevin Wilcox, they thought this cop was a member of a hate group.
He's got nothing to do with the group and they're not a hate group.
But okay, you made a mistake.
I assume if I go through all your other work, I'm going to see a litany of hate groups that are bonafide hate groups.
I assume Islam will be peppered all over your resume.
All of their homophobia and sexism and calling for the murder of Jews and calling for the end of Israel.
I assume that will be all over your work.
I assume you'll have all kinds of black groups that are racist like Melanin Nation who call for the murder of white cops or the black Hebrew Israelites who literally laugh at the Holocaust because apparently the Nazis got the wrong group.
They're the real Jews.
I assume all that will be in your hate.
Nope.
It's just people that support Trump.
No, that's not it.
It's a group photo.
Okay, I didn't actually get one.
You sure?
I'm looking through my emails, yeah, from everything that you sent me.
Well, this isn't a very efficient... Is it a forwarded message?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Ladies and gentlemen, tune in to the show where we... Here, I'm going to send it to you right now because it's very relevant to this equation.
I know we're not making good television right now, folks, but this just shows you how live it is.
It's on the fly, yo!
Pretty exciting stuff.
Yeah, you're seeing news happen live.
It's like, do-do-do-do-do.
This is like the newsroom.
I need, or TMZ, I need a big slurpee.
Ooh, I got something worth mentioning.
Mentioning.
That tonight...
The Cornel West and Candace Owens.
Oh yes, that's exciting.
Free speech episode will be up.
Tonight, if you tune into freespeech.tv, you can watch Candace Owens and Cornel West duke it out.
Awesome.
Alright, I just sent you the picture.
Let me know when it arrives.
Very important picture.
Very important segue here.
Because the Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under Law appears to be about 99% women.
It's very diverse within the parameter of gender.
Meaning, once you accept that it's 99% women, there's a wide variety of women.
Black, white, Hispanic.
Not a ton of Asians.
In fact, I don't see any.
Yeah, that's the picture.
And you think, is this really about hate?
Or is it about how much you hate men?
Is this about stopping a hate group from becoming cops?
A hate group that will not help black people because they're so racist, they'll get a call.
9-1-1, yo, hey, 9-1-1, can I get some help here?
I don't think so, dude.
Hello, I'm wondering, I'm getting robbed by a negro.
We'll be right there, sir!
That's their insane world, right?
And you look at it and you go, this is a war on Trump.
It's a war on masculinity.
And here's a clue.
You want the clue?
Go to the ugliest one in the photo.
That's always a good place to start.
The least attractive one there.
Now go down to her shoes.
What does that say?
Look at her disgusting shoes.
Uh, something with T-E at the end of it.
Vote.
Oh, sheesh.
She's taken a magic marker and written vote on her feet.
Vote with your feet.
Yeah, why don't you vote yourself a little slimmer by walking?
Yeah, why don't you, yeah.
Once in a while.
Right jog.
But go back to that committee.
Uh.
This group is all about the civil rights of voting.
The only male there seems to be calling the shots, John M. Greenbaum.
This is the guy getting cops fired.
This is the guy, and isn't it funny how they attack cops and firemen?
Like, these guys are dedicated to saving your life when you're in trouble, and these cucks, these beta males, these pussies, are shutting them down and preventing them from saving your life.
Under the auspices of what?
Fighting hate?
But you're not about fighting hate.
You're about getting illegals to vote.
That's what these people are really about, as far as I'm concerned.
Obviously, I have to speak very carefully here, because when you mess with lawyers, they mess with your back.
But when you look at this guy's resume, go back to that write-up.
You see, Greenbaum has successfully litigated, go down to that, numerous cases in the federal courts.
I can't read it because I'm on top of it.
So go down.
And has argued before the United States Supreme Court.
Notable cases he's played a major role in include Shelby County v. Holder, defense of the constitutionality of the Voting Rights Act.
The Coalition for Equity and Excellence in Maryland Higher Education.
Keep going.
So stop, stop there.
Desegregation in the school systems?
Okay.
Desegregation in the school systems?
How old are you, dude?
Challenge to Arizona's document of citizenship requirement for voter registration applicants.
Drop the mic.
It's a very expensive mic.
I'm not going to just drop it on the ground, but I'm not Barack Obama.
That's what this is about.
Like the derb said many years ago, it's never about what it's about.
So these guys are out there sabotaging cops careers in order to make it look like there are these harbingers of justice who wipe out hate wherever they find it.
But when you check the resume, you see a bunch of ugly fat broads who are mad at men for being men and You see the true political agenda, which is taking advantage monetarily of the massive demand the DNC has for getting Hispanics to vote.
Because they know without that Hispanic vote, they lose.
And that is why they pry the borders open.
They don't care about Mexicans.
They don't care about blacks.
They see them all as pawns in the chess game.
It's all a lie!
Oh God, he looks terrible.
So the women are mad because no one would fuck them in high school, and the men appear to have the same beef.
Has he ever had sex?
I don't know.
He has a koala bear's face.
Oh, we gotta read our sponsors before we go offline.
Oh wow, we're at 46 minutes already.
Yeah, time flies when you're at an awesome show.
True dat.
But I lost my notes.
Boy, one doctor's appointment really screws up the day, doesn't it?
Screws the pooch.
So, let's start with...
Caveffe coffee.
Okay.
Caveffe coffee.
Now I may have misspoke in the previous times of the life where I said that you if you use the promo code Gavin you instantly get You instantly get a discount.
No, you need to spend 20 bucks in order to take advantage of the discount.
But I can't find the website now, Ryan.
What is it?
C-O-V-E-F-E.
If you type that in without the dot com, it'll pop up.
C-O-V-E-F-E.
If you type it in without the dot com, it'll pop up.
Covfefe.
Covfefe.
Again, I'm doing a really bad job of promoting this fucking place, and it's not coming up.
I think it's doyoucovfefe.com?
Why didn't you tell me that?
I didn't know that.
What is the URL?!
Oh, I don't know the URL.
Well, it's on your screen, dude!
Yeah, but I'm over there getting coffee.
I know, but you just typed it in!
Do you covfefe.com.
What is it?
That didn't work!
It's on the site.
Do you covfefe.com.
Yeah, the only reason it comes up on your fucking site is because you've had it up before.
No, no, no.
That is exactly why it comes up on your URL.
I've never had it on my URL.
Look, it's the first thing I searched in Google.
I know, that doesn't work on my Google.
What's wrong with your Google?
I haven't been to this URL before on this computer, sir.
No, it doesn't, it's not, it didn't fill it in for me.
Do you not believe me?
Am I lying?
You typed in Covfefe and searched it in Google.
C-O-V-E-F-E-F-E.
Oh no, you spelled it wrong.
It's C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
Oh, we got some commercials here, we got USA Today talking about Cavefe.
You didn't type coffee afterwards?
I did.
That's so maniacally mistaken.
I did also do that.
But it pops right up.
It's the first link.
No, the first link is Etsy.
No, that's not that.
That's the Google image.
Well, it's doing it now because now I've been to the URL.
God!
It's the first one.
Sorry about that, Kavafe.
It's okay.
While we were promoting your product, there was some animosity.
I hope the folks at home don't associate your brand with people yelling at each other.
And I obviously don't sound like a great candidate for testosterone, because I already have natural roid rage.
Or coffee.
Or coffee.
Anyway, buy this shit, it's delicious!
No, it really is great.
We have it on the show.
If you go to ducavefe.com and put in the promo code GAVIN and spend 20 bucks of stuff, you get a discount.
And they come in Red Pill Light Roast, Magga Dark Roast, Whole Bean.
Cavefe Kid has all of them.
And I'm leaving one out.
Red Pill Light Roast, Drain the Swamp Medium Roast, Magga Blend Dark Roast.
Support free speech.
Companies support freespeech.tv.
Oh jeez.
I really waited too long for these.
Um.
The reeds?
These reeds.
And I have to wing them because I don't have them.
But isn't that amazing?
That these groups, because I was talking about a lot of these civil rights groups just being grumpy feminists with an axe to grind.
And then I look up this company that's trying to get this officer fired and I see a bunch of grumpy feminists with an axe to grind.
And then you peel back another layer and you see the one male who runs the whole thing is actually just getting checks.
Allegedly.
This is my theory.
Getting checks from the DNC who need more votes and they say, can you fight any kind of immigration restriction, especially when it comes to voting?
You know what they're doing in California now?
Handing out licenses.
You don't have to actually be, pass your driver's license to get your driver's license.
Now, why would they do that?
They like car accidents?
No one likes car accidents.
Oh, California.
Boats.
I get it now.
Um.
Also, we're going to be taking a lot of calls momentarily, but we'll be cutting you off, folks at home.
I also feel I should talk about johnnyapplecbd.com.
And the way you can find this is you go to johnnyapple.com.
I'm hoarse now from yelling at you.
They have CBD gummies, which we have tried with our Cavefe coffee, and it does take the morning jitters out of your coffee.
It legit does.
And again, use the promo code GAVIN for this.
They've got the gummies, they've got the topicals, they've got the cartridges, they've got the supplements, they've got the waxes, they've got the tinctures.
They've even got stuff for your pets.
Now it's the beauty of hemp and I guess marijuana?
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Contact us to redeem your discount.
By the way, Johnny Apple, CBD, if you're watching, fun game to play with veterans is to pretend that they have stolen valor.
And you say, I need to confirm you're a veteran before I can give you this discount.
And then when they say 35th Battalion, go, there is no 35th Battalion, sir.
Nice try.
And boy, do they get mad.
Another thing that I notice vets don't like is you go, every time I see these Pearl Harbor vets congregate, you know, to acknowledge, I wouldn't say celebrate, an anniversary of that attack, none of them are hot.
And I've never had a vet laugh at that joke.
In fact, we had Terry Shepard go, uh, I can't laugh at that joke.
Finally, our final sponsor we're going to squeeze in before we shut you out is BetDSI.
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If you go there and you put in Gavin, I get my own little thing, right?
You have like a little banner.
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Betting with BetDSI doesn't just make baseball more fun.
Baseball is done now, folks.
We've got something called the World Series that I, as a Mets fan, I'm not familiar with.
Wait, I'm not getting anything.
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And then if I go slash Gavin, I don't see the G-Dog.
Do you?
No, their site might be down because I'm having trouble loading their site.
Well, I get BetDSI.
Have they, have they X'd me?
Am I dumped?
See if you can pull up BetDSI.
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You have to put down 20 bucks to get started.
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BetDSI.com.
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Use the promo code Gavin.
Oh, it works by the way.
It turns into BetDSI.eu slash Gavin.
It reroutes you.
Oh, it goes to Europe.
Yep.
That's how they pull it off.
Isn't it ridiculous that gambling is illegal in all these different states?
I've heard of guys having to take their phones in New York and go over to Jersey with the PATH train, check their phones.
Oh, I can bet now.
Betting and then going back.
Oh, wow.
Through the PATH.
Yeah.
Weird.
All right, so we got Kevin Wilcox.
We managed to get in the sponsors in the free hour.
I think we should switch to calls now.
I also want to switch to the mailbag, though.
Are we going to tune out of the YouTube folks?
Yeah, so let's... I also want to read about this other guy who got fired by Judge Jeannie Perreiro.
All right, because she found he was a proud boy, but let's deny the free people that.
Bye, guys.
So thank you for tuning in for free, you cheap ass.
You can't spend $10 a month.
That's like less than a hard liquor drink and slightly more than a beer every month.
That's nothing.
And you get endless content.
Candice Owens and Cornel West coming up in a few hours.
We have new shows from me every day.
We got Joe Biggs and Milo.
We're just opening up a blog on it.
We have Soph coming in.
Everyone is banned from internet.
Everyone's being de-person, de-platformed.
Ends up on our show, we're the island of misfit toys in Clown World, where no one gets a voice.
And here, it's just like it was before Clown World took over.
You can say whatever you want, and when you have total freedom like that, believe it or not, there's no racism, sexism, homophobia.
It just doesn't naturally happen.
So these assholes who are trying to control your life, they're not stopping hate.
They're eradicating things in the name of stopping hate that have nothing to do with hate.
They're just controlling you and trying to dictate how you think and what you say.
