Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #17 - HOT CHICKS

All Episodes

Previous Next

Oct. 17, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:01:48

GOML LIVE #17 - HOT CHICKS

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	I didn't push the button.
	I didn't push a button.
	Why are you stopping when I don't push a button?
	Why are you doing?
	The button is.
	Excuse me.
	Excuse me.
	I am doing show you push a button.
	Music no stop.
	Didn't we find out he has like another quirk that we forgot to add?
	It sounds like you're doing the old one before that revelation.
	We haven't done that guy in so long I forgot all his quirks and quirks.
	Yeah.
	Excuse me.
	Excuse me.
	No, you said that you have, you know, stuck to the diet, but you've eaten pounds of sugar.
	He had something to.
	I'll look him up.
	Dr. Z. Why are you lying to me?
	Why are you lying?
	He has a gold stethoscope.
	Of course.
	Doctor No.
	I mean, I'm laughing, but I've been having these strange compulsions to do equally stupid things with my money.
	Like?
	Like Gucci sneakers.
	Oh, my God.
	Milo is a bad influence on me, and he took me out shopping to Yves Saint-Laurent.
	He bought like a $600 polo, and he was looking at insanely expensive jewelry at Cartier that he bought.
	Like, just a gold chain there is thousands and thousands of dollars, and it's this same gold chain.
	Exactly.
	What's the matter, Steven?
	Is he in trouble?
	Dr. Noah Zardin.
	What are you doing?
	He's not Mexican.
	Why does he have a Mexican accent?
	He's like Iranian.
	Did he learn English from the illegals?
	Turn it up.
	And he knows if he goes to any other hospital, he has to go to jail because they're all unnoticed that he is abusing the system.
	But if Steven thinks he can come here and try to get some pensioners, then look at this human.
	What if he does go to jail?
	What are they going to do with him?
	Yeah, poor jail.
	Yeah.
	Go ahead.
	Poor COs.
	Take me in.
	Oh, my God.
	You know that if he went to prison, he'd be up in the hospital part of it, getting washed and scrubbed.
	Look at that.
	They have to put a strap around his...
	Oh, my God.
	Look at those barnacles.
	That's exactly what I was going to say.
	He literally has barnacles.
	The fire department with the chief that do not transport this patient unless you call me.
	Yeah, that is his golden stuff.
	He's yelling about?
	Oh, they want to take him to jail and stuff.
	And he wants to save his life.
	I'm a Christian man.
	All of God's creatures, humans are the chosen ones.
	They are made in God's image to a degree.
	But, geez, you get pretty, what's the word I'm looking for?
	Nietzschean nihilistic when you see people like this?
	I mean, who isn't watching this just going...
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Probably people that make coffins.
	Hippocratic Oath and all, but...
	Oh, yeah.
	Uh-oh.
	And then just like close something super important.
	Some sort of tube that goes through the heart.
	Nurse, what's that over there?
	Like when Tony Soprano killed Christopher?
	It was a very difficult situation.
	Oh my God.
	I'm getting good at it, if you will.
	Yeah, that's pretty good.
	Will you?
	He really puts the hippo in the very difficult situation.
	What is that giant tube?
	That's his belly?
	Yeah.
	He puts his hands in there?
	That's a little hand pouch.
	Oh, my God.
	He is a fanny pack.
	Turn it up.
	So send me home.
	Steven, you're not going to be alive much longer the way you live.
	You want us to write you off as hopeless?
	Then we will.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	He's in Viking.
	There is no hope for you.
	We're going to cancel your insurance.
	I feel good.
	Oh, that's opioids.
	Yeah.
	So you hate me?
	Okay.
	That's another one down the dry that bites the dust.
	Why don't you get the scale?
	Why don't you get the scale?
	Why?
	How much is the embodiment spending?
	On a scale from 1 to 10.
	How much do you want to listen to all along the watchtower by Jimi Hendrix?
	10.
	There's a naked lady in the room.
	She wants to do a dance for you.
	Interested?
	Okay.
	When now?
	Your behavior is unacceptable.
	Okay, but we're not talking about that.
	Now, we'll talk about the weight.
	You're not here.
	Are you kind of hungry, but you can't really drink?
	At least you know, you know that you can.
	Okay, that's enough.
	You know that I like your new sunglasses junkie?
	Now, this is a special show.
	It's free, so we tend to overexplain things.
	But a common refrain on the show is this junkie I knew trying to adjust his Hello Kitty coffee machine.
	And his junkie girlfriend comes back in and she puts on her sunglasses because she forgot them.
	And they're going to get butter for their pancake party that we all went to that sucked.
	And he sees her sunglasses, and as he's adjusting his Hello Kitty coffee maker, he goes, I like your new sunglasses.
	It's become a saying.
	We sell t-shirts.
	I can pull one out right now that say, I like your new sunglasses.
	But anyway, that same junkie would always go, you know, sometimes if I have to break up with a girl, I'll just do smack.
	And then you're just like, whatever, it's over.
	And he dumped this girl lying on a couch like this.
	So she's sitting normal on the couch.
	And then he's sitting parallel to the couch.
	So his legs are going over her lap.
	And he's just like, yeah, it's not working out.
	And she's like, what the fuck?
	I loved you.
	You broke my heart.
	And he's just like, Yeah, well, I don't love you anymore, so that's that.
	She's like, I don't understand.
	I met your parents, and you know, how could you not throw everything away?
	What the fuck have you done to me?
	What have you done to me?
	And he's just like, I guess I dumped you, is what I did, dude.
	And he goes, It's so easy.
	That's true.
	That's heartless.
	Speaking of Doctor Now, I went to my doctor today.
	I stole these cups.
	Too bad I only managed to steal three.
	You're not supposed to steal Gavin.
	You're not supposed to steal Gavin.
	He's married.
	But if you show up in a black van and you're all wearing Asian provocateur lingerie, you could probably steal me.
	I'll be screaming because I don't want to get divorced.
	But if five of females are watching, they're brunettes with slightly chubby butts, and they want to drive around my neighborhood in a black van.
	And when they find me, grab me, throw me into the van, and ravish me against my will as I scream and punch.
	I'll try.
	I won't punch very hard.
	Will you scream loud?
	I'll be like, hey, get off!
	Stop raping me!
	What are you crazy?
	Get those tits out of my face.
	What the?
	No, what happens?
	Leave it!
	Stop it!
	What if she stops and she listens to you?
	I'll go.
	Is it?
	I never said.
	This is a concept I never thought of before.
	Men encouraging women to rape them.
	Yeah.
	There, that's a rape joke.
	Pretty much, every time I get ready to go out somewhere, I'm dressing to try to be a rape victim.
	Fingers crossed to get raped.
	That's kind of, if you're a millennial male now, that's the only way you can get laid.
	Yeah.
	Is just go outside of your house, dressed sexy, and go, please write me, please write me, please write me.
	I was so lame.
	Like, if going to parties when I was younger, I would just sit and look cool somewhere with a drink and then just kind of lounge back and be like, this lap's open.
	Well, that was a thing when I was in high school.
	It was asexual.
	Did you have guys like that?
	We had like one every year or so.
	And the girls would go, wait, what does that mean?
	I don't have sexuality.
	I'm not gay or straight or anything.
	I just am asexual.
	What that really means is rape me.
	It's like, please jump my bones.
	I'm going to have my first swig from my new urine collection container.
	I like how it's piss colored, too.
	Tastes like yellow Gatorade.
	Yeah.
	Always get yellow Gatorade.
	You don't want to have red teeth or a blue mouth.
	So I went to the doctor's today.
	Look.
	Oh, ah.
	I want testosterone.
	I'm sick of Grover arms.
	These are the arms the Lord cursed me with.
	I actually blame the anarchist punk band Crass because they, I became a vegetarian at 14 and didn't eat meat till I was 34.
	And this is what working out every day for the past two years, sparring in the gym, has gotten me.
	Madonna's arms.
	Not even quite Madonna.
	So I go in there and I'm like, I want to get ripped.
	And they go, well, this isn't what we do here, sir.
	Do you have a low sex drive?
	And I think of my poor wife who hides from me in the house.
	Like if she's hungover and she's not going to, she wants to sleep extra, she'll go hide in like the guest bedroom to avoid ravagement.
	I'm constantly lurking through the house like gollum.
	My precious.
	Just trying to find her.
	Her precious ring.
	Wow, this actually, this video says, get Madonna's arms with this 10-minute workout.
	So I guess her arms are kind of desirable for women.
	Shouldn't be for women.
	Yeah.
	So, but I don't know.
	Like when you talk to doctors, they're not your friends.
	You notice they don't know how to riff.
	So I don't know how much to tell them.
	So I don't want to say, I don't give a shit about, dude, my testosterone's through the roof.
	I'm a horn dog.
	I have a boner every 10 minutes.
	My balls are working overtime as it is, but I want to get ripped.
	I want to fight and win.
	And you can't say that, right?
	They probably worried you're mic'd.
	What are those?
	Is that Madonna's arms?
	Yeah, it's a full breakdown.
	Promedial deltoid or interior deltoid, the triceps.
	Weird.
	Yeah.
	They look like the Chinese bodies exhibit.
	Yeah.
	Michael Deltoid.
	It looks like a collaboration between the Wax Museum and the Bodies Exhibit.
	That's a good lie to start saying if people say, well, who are you working with?
	Well, New York or LA?
	In L.A., I'm working with Michael Deltoid.
	Michael Deltoid?
	Yeah, one of the top producers in Hollywood.
	Oh.
	I haven't heard of him.
	Yeah, he's really behind some of them.
	You haven't heard of Michael Deltoid?
	Okay.
	Have fun living in the dark ages.
	Anywho, so we go in there and I say, yeah, it could be hornier, which isn't, it's literally not possible.
	I'm masturbating right now using my feet.
	Um, and, uh, the, The imagery of that is so bizarre.
	It's so gross.
	It looks like a men in black character.
	I guess guys with no arms have to do that, right?
	I don't see how you would.
	If I had no arms, oh, they can do crazy shit.
	They make a cup of tea.
	They do all kinds of stuff.
	Fumble with a Rubik's Cube.
	But that would be a good way to get a hand job from your wife is just have no arms and say, I mean, I could do it with my feet if you're feeling cruel.
	Or you could spend 20 seconds out of your day.
	So I go in there and I just say, yeah, my tea.
	It was weird too because there was this black woman, attractive lady, who sits me down first and she says, do you have a sex drive?
	And I said, well, yeah.
	And she goes, do you have trouble getting an erection?
	Do you like to have sex?
	And I said, are you hitting on me?
	Did you really?
	Yes.
	And then she goes, I've obviously heard that many times.
	Oh, okay.
	And then I go, that would be funny, though, if you went to a bar and just said that.
	Are you horny?
	Do you have a sex drive?
	Can you get an erection?
	I don't have a lot of time.
	So I implied I did.
	And then I realized while talking to the doctor, how much bullshit I hear at the gym.
	Because I was like, I understand there's one that you take testosterone, but then you forget how to make testosterone.
	You can grow breasts and it can lead to baldness and prostate cancer.
	That must be so tedious to be a doctor and hear these assholes tell you about their job and self-medicate.
	Meanwhile, they spent, you know, 12 years in medical school.
	And he's like, oh, that's not true.
	No, that one's not true.
	But he said HGH is not the term.
	So I don't think I'm getting testosterone.
	I'm getting maybe a pill that tells my brain to tell my balls to make more testosterone.
	And the beauty of that is when you quit, your balls still have life.
	If you take testosterone, your balls shrink to nothing and they may never come back.
	Wow.
	And we know a guy, right, whose name starts with the letter S, our ripped friend.
	Oh, yeah.
	And I said, what's it like having no balls?
	And he goes, they do shrink drastically to like the kind of marbles you played with as a kid.
	Wow.
	And he said, but it's only come up once.
	A girl was blowing me and she was down there and I could see, I was looking at her and I could see her for a second, sort of go, what the?
	And that was like a fraction of a second of my life.
	And then everything was great.
	Interesting.
	So then he goes, now I am uncircumcised and we get a bad rap, especially from Aaron Berg at comedy clubs, which is why after he did an entire set on how disgusting foreskins are, I got onto the stage for an open mic and pulled out my penis and said, it's not that bad.
	And I am now permanently banned from the stand and can never return.
	Though we have that footage on tape.
	Are you going to find it on YouTube?
	No.
	Is it like a live logo?
	It's a giant the stand logo and they're not happy.
	Oh, wow, yeah.
	A bunch of pussies.
	Meanwhile, didn't Louis Gomez blow Bobby, what's his name?
	You know what?
	I found it.
	That was a fake peen.
	That was a fake peen.
	It looked real.
	It looked very real.
	I sent it to Anthony Coome, and he just said, what am I looking at?
	So he blew a fake penis.
	Is that so much different than blowing a real penis?
	I don't think that was at the stand to be fair though.
	I think that was at their I moved here in the late 90s, so I'm used to my New York's different than this pussy New York.
	When I moved to New York, I was thinking of Gigi Allen and Joe Coleman used to come out with mice.
	No, he used to come out, he used to eat a mouse.
	So he'd eat a mouse on stage, but he'd come out with like fireworks all over his body and then light them up like a suicide bomber.
	Back when it was dangerous, man.
	I miss old New York.
	So anyway, I didn't really wash my penis.
	And a foreskin after three days ain't nothing to write home about.
	I will concede that.
	But the truth is most of us clean it once a day.
	So I was a little concerned about that.
	And I also have a hemorrhoid the size of the inflatable Trump balloon that went up over London.
	So specific and so disgusting.
	And that's not great.
	So my swimsuit area is nothing you really want to explore right now.
	But he goes, all right, so drop your pants.
	I'm going to explore your swimsuit area.
	Yeah, that's my butthole.
	That right there is on my anal lips right now.
	Stunning.
	Horrendous.
	So he drops my pants.
	And I did something weird I'm kind of embarrassed of too.
	I grabbed it by the base and gave it a little shit on.
	Oh.
	Just to kind of.
	Just because it's kind of like a newborn squirrel hibernating.
	So it's kind of tucked.
	It's literally stuck to the bag.
	And it's kind of got this sad sleeping face.
	That is such an accurate.
	Yeah, my dick's look like that.
	That's what my dick looks like without my pants, right?
	It's not like an erect porno dick.
	It's just sort of like this sleeping fellow.
	So I'm like, wake up, Alvin and the chipmunks.
	So, but I gave it a little shadunk, and that sort of sounds like I'm, you know, fluffing it for him.
	So it's a nice sexy cock for him to examine.
	Hope this isn't censored on YouTube.
	And he does pull it back a little bit, and he opens up the mouth there to see if everything's okay.
	Nothing drastic.
	And then he starts fondling my balls, makes me cough.
	He says they're fine.
	He loves my balls.
	I guess he's used to guys who come in there with small balls.
	Because I have a feeling he's going to check my testosterone and go, dude, you need a testosterone reduction.
	And I'm like, the horny's not a thing, but these little gardener snakes have got to go.
	Look at that.
	It's not even a bump.
	You have not compared your balls to anything.
	This is just like a leg.
	It's like a thigh.
	Anyway, so fondles my balls.
	And then he says, I'm going to rape you now.
	Bend over, whore.
	Wow.
	And he didn't quite say that.
	But then I have to put my elbows on the thing.
	And he goes, No, he did that.
	I had his finger up my butt.
	I thought you were just going in for a tip.
	Yeah, hashtag.
	I'm not a shower in three days.
	And I warned him about the Royd, and then he goes, he plunged, dude.
	Jesus.
	Like I was Milo Yiannopoulos on his wedding night.
	This was not like a little boop.
	It was like, I could see his finger was like coming out of my mouth.
	Oh, I see.
	And you could feel it in the back of your tongue.
	I see.
	You feel it in the back of your tongue?
	What are you?
	Andre the Giant, co-host of the year?
	Are you hard feet?
	I get your joke.
	You're saying went really deep?
	Oh, yeah, I get it.
	So, yeah, he gets right in there.
	And then he said, I sense a lot of congestion in there.
	Meanwhile, it's the middle of the day.
	By the time an alcoholic Scotsman is in the middle of the day, he's had 342 shits.
	And the last two were just clear phlegm with one piece of lettuce.
	So there's no way there's anything in there at all.
	You could put a hot dog up my ass and then eat it, and it would probably taste better because it's so clean in there.
	I would clean off your hot.
	You could clean your hot dog in my ass.
	I have an asshole that can clean a hot dog.
	Isn't that a Pharrell lyric from Nerd?
	I dare you to clean your hot dog in my butt.
	We were joking in a previous episode about the song Lap Dance, where Pharrell inadvertently includes the line, and I dare a motherfucker to come in my face.
	I'm an outlaw.
	You dare someone to come in your face?
	Why would you do that?
	That's not a threat.
	That's not what tough guys do.
	Charles Bronson, or who is the guy?
	Robert something, who said, it was a big commercial in the 70s where he said, I dare you to push this battery off my shoulder.
	Robert Conrad, I think.
	And he's such a badass that you go, well, I'm not pushing that battery off your shoulder.
	What a weird setup that was.
	I forget we can't play music on that.
	No, we can't play music.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Oh, damn it.
	See if you can find Robert Conrad Duricell shoulder, though.
	This is back when men were men.
	Not the most intelligent concept.
	Yeah, there it is.
	Did you push this battery?
	I played with him on Bill Maher's show.
	And you know what he said to me?
	What?
	He said, when you're single and you're out there getting laid, fuck everything that moves, guys.
	Just fuck everything that moves.
	So many men waste their time with sevens and eights, and you want those, sure.
	But as far as a Rolodex goes, you want the fours, you want the fives.
	Just keep it going.
	Keep it going.
	Wow.
	When you go out for dinner, yes, you want steak.
	But what do you have?
	You have burgers all the time?
	You have junk food?
	You have a bag of chips?
	Get yourself a bag of chips, boys.
	And Derek Beckles and I were just going.
	So there he is being gorgeous.
	Don't you ever call this a regular battery?
	This is the EverReady alkaline power cell.
	This is no regular battery.
	And I'm no regular human.
	I can't buy a longer-lasting all-purpose power cell than 9-volt EverReady Alkaline.
	So when you want long-lasting energy for these radios, think EverReady Alkaline.
	He's on Coke.
	I dare you to call it regular.
	I dare you.
	The hell?
	What the hell?
	How'd it stick so well?
	Maybe he's a robot.
	He's got magnets in his shoulders?
	And what's he going to do?
	Beat me up if I call that battery an alkaline?
	I thought it was I dare you to push that battery off my shoulder.
	That must be an allusion, though, to some sort of prison thing where you dare you to push these cigarettes off my shoulder.
	Oh, maybe.
	I hope.
	Because if it's just, if they just invented that whole concept, I dare you to push a battery off my shoulder, that is the most retarded thing I've ever heard of ever.
	And that just shows you that everyone in the 80s was on Coke.
	I dare you to knock this off.
	I dare you to compare anybody's batteries, anybody's, with alkaline power cells and try to beat them for long life.
	You know what?
	This is how you sold batteries in the 80s.
	You threatened violence.
	You can't fight.
	Buy these batteries or I'll kick the shit out of you.
	I'll fight you over batteries.
	Anyway, so he puts his finger deep, deep inside my bottom.
	He says everything's fine in there.
	But then he goes, well, it's really coagulated in there.
	It's so weird to talk about in there.
	What is this poltergeist?
	Like you went to the other side?
	Are you going to put a rope on a tennis ball and throw it up my asshole to go save a kid?
	Go towards the site.
	There was a little girl who was staring at my butthole and then she just got sucked in.
	That was seven years ago.
	That's crazy, man.
	I need that dopey little midget with the squeaky voice to get people out of my butt.
	Oh, yeah.
	Or Mexican food.
	Mexican food is much easier than hiring a psychic.
	Anyway, sorry.
	So I was going to do the, I'd hope you'd at least buy me dinner first joke.
	Right.
	But I thought, are you hitting on me joke bombed?
	And he's probably heard that prostate exam joke a million times.
	So I foregoed it.
	It was foregone.
	And we talked for a little bit longer.
	Then he went to take, I went and got my bloods done where I stole these cups.
	And we'll find out in a day or so what I'm going to take, whether it's the gel or the pill or the injection.
	And it's not, I don't think it's testosterone.
	It's something that helps your body.
	Interesting.
	So, like, you're going to slowly see over the next 10 months, just a slowly hulking mass.
	Interesting.
	And then I'll just be going, what's going on?
	Welcome back to free speech.tv.
	Fortunately, my IQ is a little damaged from the excess testosterone.
	Today we're going to talk about, again, tits.
	This is another tits episode.
	Today we're going to talk about big areolas.
	And I can only talk for 10 minutes because I got to lie down.
	They actually call me Arielle LaGrande.
	Even though I sound like Pete Davidson.
	You're going to be a mashup.
	You're going to be a whole couple.
	Doesn't that sound like, My heart hurts.
	I feel like I got dumped.
	But you know what I mean?
	You ever have a pain that's just here?
	A faint weakness pain?
	Yeah, it's not heartburn or anything.
	It's right here.
	Yeah, I've had that before.
	I had that, I think, yesterday.
	You know what he sounded like?
	That guy who did the He Will Not Divide Us thing?
	He will not divide us.
	He will not divide us.
	That is Tony Redpill.
	Uncle Tony Redpill.
	Tony Redpill.
	We should have him on the show.
	Greg, his new movie trailer came out, and it kind of looks interesting.
	Oh.
	You want to see it?
	Movies are tough to pull off.
	I mean, I hate everyone in LA, but when someone like Jonah Hill does a movie, you know it's going to be good because that's the culture he grew up in.
	When anyone else does it, they don't even have a laugh.
	But yeah, let's see his new trailer.
	So this is Greg the Greek.
	He was with Tony Redpill.
	Yep.
	I had them both in the show, Moron.
	Charlie Barakas.
	Like Tom Hogg in my left hand.
	Oh, it's a fiction movie.
	It's a fiction movie.
	It's like a gangster movie.
	Oh, Charlie Boyd.
	Oh, what's up?
	He's like Shinless List.
	It never ran.
	Oh, did you tell that one at the club?
	I'm sure your mob buddies love that one.
	Covered in blood?
	That wasn't yours.
	What was in that bag you had the other day?
	Somebody's head, I suppose.
	Never told you about my son.
	I suppose he came up from school.
	Never caught the guy that did it.
	I should have been there for him.
	Never caught the guy that did it.
	That's emotional.
	Why does audio sound the same in all?
	Oh, that was the guy from Rocky.
	Sometimes you have to help those who don't take care of themselves.
	Charlie?
	I never got to thank you for getting me out of that tough spot.
	I have people coming and turning me in.
	You, Charlie.
	Okay, look at my hand.
	We got it.
	It just looks like every other indie film.
	No offense, Uncle Tony Red Pill.
	I ain't trying to criticize you.
	It just, the crappy audio and the weird lighting, it always looks the same in indie films.
	I'm not a fan.
	Although, I saw Hobbs and Shaw last night.
	It's finally on demand.
	It is so effing good.
	Holy crap.
	Is it a good movie?
	Although, at the very beginning, the bad guys are Nazi skinheads.
	And they all get beat up.
	And they have red suspenders and Doc Martens on.
	In fact, that's maybe the second skinhead I've seen in 30 years.
	That's the only place you see them is in movies.
	Oh, and here, by the way, you know how in movies, sometimes the good guy will get a few blows to the head?
	They don't do it in this one.
	They win every fight, hands down, no questions asked.
	That's awesome.
	Not one punch to any face ever.
	No way.
	Yeah, well look at this scene.
	Access granted.
	Access denied.
	This is me trying to fuck my wife.
	This is me putting my penis against her butt in bed.
	Access denied.
	Access denied.
	Adrian Sobo's a bad guy, so that's cool.
	We have a black bad guy for once.
	She's, of course, a ninja who beats the shit out of everyone, which is kind of lame.
	But the rock goes back to Samoa.
	I think he is technically genetically Samoan, even though he's like Hawaiian, right?
	And the Samoans fight the bad guys without weapons, just with like clubs and stuff.
	I'm sorry to bring trouble here, Mama, but I need my brothers.
	We do this war.
	The Once Were Warriors guy.
	In fact, the brother is, he was the pedophile uncle from Once Were Warriors.
	Those are their weapons.
	You know, Hollywood talks all this bullshit about Trump and anti-masculinity and how they hate guns.
	And at the end of the day, that pays their bills.
	So they're so disingenuous.
	Like, they sell patriotism while pretending that they hate it.
	They're like drug dealers in a way.
	No, that's a terrible analogy.
	Drug dealers love drugs.
	Yeah, what?
	They're like even evangelists who pretend they love Jesus, but then, you know, rip everyone off.
	Yeah, that's a better analogy.
	That scene was mental.
	Anyway, I highly recommend it.
	My daughter and my wife left, so it was just the boys.
	I'm having a little bit of trouble selling, like, guys, it's dudes night.
	No broads allowed.
	My son just wants to look at baseball scores.
	My other son wants to watch people playing Minecraft.
	Like, we're not looking at math, and we're not looking at some stranger nerd play a video game.
	We're watching stranger nerds use CGI to make tough guys play a video game of sorts.
	I realized when I was watching it too, I make fun of superhero movies.
	How is this different?
	Yeah.
	Like he does quadruple backflips into a helicopter, beats everyone up, and then jumps out the window.
	And Idris Elba is half machine.
	So he's basically Iron Man.
	Oh, snap.
	Anyway, the reason I bring this up is there is a smoke show in this movie that is going to change your life forever.
	OM motherfucking knee.
	And you know what happened to?
	My six-year-old was sitting next to me on the couch, and I didn't realize I was doing this, but in the scene I'm about to show you, I went, it was like Kevin James in King of Queens when, you know, the ice cream store is closed or something, and I was going, and I heard my six-year-old look at me and goes, what, Dad, what's going on with your face?
	And I had to laugh my head off because I didn't know what I was doing.
	Dude, you don't know what I'm about to show you?
	Okay, well, we have different types.
	You tend to be kind of racist.
	A little bit, yeah.
	But so this is not a white woman.
	I'm sorry to break it to you.
	Oh, no.
	I like all sorts, just not Asians typically.
	All right.
	Well, she's Mexican.
	I think this is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
	Besides my wife, of course.
	Oh, what are those?
	Those are my best friends.
	Tit and Tit.
	That's what I should have named the movie.
	Yeah.
	Hobson Shaw working title Tit and Tit.
	It's a cool painting back there.
	No, it's not.
	...
	because it was something that resonated a lot with our culture, so I immediately wanted to be part of it.
	That's a creature.
	Look at her.
	That's ridiculous.
	What is that thing?
	I don't know.
	What is that?
	She's hotter than Steve.
	She's a circus freak.
	She could be in the circus.
	Step right up.
	The beautiful lady.
	I'd pay five cents to look at her in the 1910s.
	Yeah.
	Like next to the bearded lady and the world's fattest guy, who is probably about 340 pounds.
	What's her name?
	Her name.
	I can Google her.
	See, I told you that Idris Alba was a robot guy.
	Robogai.
	She could have Uncle Tony Redpill's voice, and I would still be in love with her.
	Hey, how's it going?
	I heard you liked me in Hobson Shaw.
	I heard you talking about my tits.
	What'd you say?
	Working title tit and tit?
	Well, here they are.
	Oh, she acts like him too?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	What's up, Amelia Gonzalez?
	I'm fucking one of the hottest chicks in the world, duh.
	Anyway, who has a cigar for me?
	And I don't want a Lewinsky, and I want to smoke it up here with this mouth.
	That's her.
	Can I Google her?
	Can I Google her?
	Iiza.
	That reminds me of when my middle boy was young.
	He'd make up all these cool things like, the Bob Marley has begun.
	And doctors say when you read a book to love, you just fall apart.
	And if I was having like salt and vinegar chips, a recipe I invented, which you can have, it's salt and vinegar chips and you dip them in sour cream.
	That's the whole recipe.
	And he'd grab one and then he'd look at me and he goes, Can I dip?
	He's forgotten all of them.
	And my wife and I are still, every time we see dip, we go, can I dip?
	Look at her.
	That lucky bikini.
	I want to die and come back as a bikini.
	Oh, she's got little star tattoos down there.
	Ooh, you like the tattoos.
	That's your takeaway.
	Although bikini is kind of...
	Did you look up bikini?
	I did.
	Well, then you're gay.
	Okay.
	And I'm gayer than you because I like looking up just their style.
	Because if they wear like Jeremy Scott or something, you know she's fun.
	But if she's dressed lame and she just wears big fancy stupid name brands, look her up without bikini there, you 10-year-old pervert.
	You want to see her style?
	A lot of red carpet type stuff.
	I like this, just hanging out just to check.
	And there's our best friends.
	Yep.
	Hobbs and Shaw.
	Hobbs and Shaw.
	So that's an awesome movie you got to check out.
	Wait, I would Hobbs all over those and please shaw me those titties.
	You come up with a pun for that.
	That was good.
	It's sometimes difficult to differentiate what's humor and what's a pun.
	A pun is the thing that's not funny.
	Also in the trailer news, we talked about how Kingsman is a Proud Boys movie and we got about 10 letters going, how, that's amazing that the people who did Kingsman put out a movie that's all about the Proud Boys two years before the Proud Boys existed.
	To which I would respond, touche.
	That's an excellent point.
	I guess now I'm saying it's a Proud Boys movie the same way Animal House is a Proud Boys movie.
	It's not, they didn't do it on purpose.
	But I'm still right.
	It was actually a secret club for two years.
	I think it's about time to tell people.
	That only Hollywood writers.
	So anyway, they're all, everyone's into prequels now.
	And the Kingsman Trailer is also out.
	And again, it looks totally nationalist, pro-Brexit.
	It looks awesome.
	And I guess it is kind of a superhero movie because Rasputin is magic in it, right?
	Oh, this is pre-World War I. I'm no history buff, but wasn't all of World War I about some guy with a big mustache who got blowed up in his carriage?
	Wizard and killed.
	Bismarck?
	Until one day, we found ourselves noblemen.
	But that nobility never came from chivalry.
	It came from being tough and ruthless.
	See, what's great about the free market is there's this massive war on masculinity going on, and there's a massive demand for masculinity.
	So politicians and the media push the bullshit narrative about how all men have to die.
	Meanwhile, the free market goes, actually, people like masculinity.
	I think I'll make some bucks on it.
	And how they can be defeated.
	Bridge flag coming up.
	Oh, that's the guy with the mustache getting killed.
	Sounds of pain
	Where's the British flag?
	Did I miss it?
	Is this a different trailer?
	There are other ways of doing your audition.
	Is this a different trailer?
	Come on.
	Yeah, it is.
	It's a good one.
	I guess the Union Jacks offensive.
	And that'll be banned.
	But speaking of the war on men, I keep getting people sending me emails about getting fired.
	And I just sent you one from my buddy Nick.
	Oh, no, no.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	Oh, wait, wait.
	Before we get to that, I want to talk about this other guy, Kevin Wilcox, who sent me a letter.
	I'm a police officer for Connecticut, former proud boy.
	I'm in the process of being attacked by a law firm in D.C. They sent a letter to my chief.
	The link is right below this.
	Sorry, I didn't number it.
	We know they sent a letter to my chief and accused me of being friendly with white supremacists and white nationalists and donating to a group that furthers their violent ways.
	We know their end game is to get me fired.
	My chief's been going, okay, so far.
	They called their buddies the Associated Press and had them do an article on me.
	And then he's asking me about my lawsuit with the SPLC.
	I'm going to do a big, intensive look at this narrative myth that there's YouTubers or people on the internet out there radicalizing innocent young boys in cells, like the movie Cuck.
	There's a guy who looked, they always look like me, by the way, who's out there saying, we got to take our country back.
	We got to kill.
	And then some poor bastard goes out there and starts killing everyone.
	And that's what the mass shootings are.
	That's Dylan Roof.
	That's the mosque shooting in New Zealand.
	Total and utter myth.
	First of all, this is the guy, Kevin Wilcox.
	First of all, if you want to include New Zealand, you have to include the world.
	And we have something like 90,000 Christians killed a year by Muslims.
	That's 250 a day.
	So I wouldn't include the world if I were you.
	You're going to lose.
	So if we just focus on America, you have to really work hard to ignore the mass shootings that don't fit that narrative.
	And you have to ignore the trans shooter.
	I think I sent you notes about that.
	We just discovered that this trans shooter was mad because they wouldn't call Didn't respect the pronouns?
	That's what inspired that mass shooting, but that didn't make the cuts.
	And then we have the Dayton, Ohio shooting, which was Antifa.
	And then we have all of these Muslim attacks, the Westside Highway, San Bernardino Neopolita.
	So you have to ignore all those in order to push this narrative.
	And so I'm just going to go over the past 10 shootings and show you that these people were not radicalized online.
	And the real impetus for fighting hate is gaining control, power.
	And you See this in voting.
	So they say, we need to shut down Proud Boys, they're white nationalists.
	What they really mean is these guys are too influential and they're making Trump look good, and we have to stop Trump from getting elected.
	There's a lot of money going into making Trump supporters look like Nazis.
	And it has nothing to do with them and their political beliefs.
	It has to do with the effectiveness of that stupid fucking allegation.
	So this guy, Kevin Wilcox, do you have the article?
	The Civil Rights Group's executive director says she, well, what do you know?
	Was astounded by the chief's refusal to take any action against the officer.
	Wilcox didn't immediately respond to calls seeking comment.
	Wassner said Tuesday that there is no question that Wilcox is not a white supremacist.
	They're not great at grammar, those cops.
	But he's definitely not a white supremacist.
	So I looked up this group and they're called, what are they called?
	The Lawyers Committee.
	This is below that.
	Sorry.
	got it.
	I didn't, we're So they're called, what are they called in the top right there?
	The Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under Law.
	The Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under Law.
	Now, pull up the picture that I showed you, that I emailed you.
	Okay.
	So this group is about fighting hate.
	That's good.
	That's noble.
	Oh, Kevin Wilcox, they thought this cop was a member of a hate group.
	He's got nothing to do with the group, and they're not a hate group.
	But okay, you made a mistake.
	I assume if I go through all your other work, I'm going to see a litany of hate groups that are bona fide hate groups.
	I assume Islam will be peppered all over your resume, all of their homophobia and sexism and calling for the murder of Jews and calling for the end of Israel.
	I assume that will be all over your work.
	I assume you'll have all kinds of black groups that are racist, like Melanin Nation, who call for the murder of white cops, or the black Hebrew Israelites who literally laugh at the Holocaust because apparently the Nazis got the wrong group.
	They're the real Jews.
	I assume all that will be in your hate.
	Nope.
	It's just people that support Trump.
	No, that's not it.
	It's a group photo.
	Okay, I didn't actually get one.
	You looked it through my emails, yeah, from everything that you sent me.
	Well, isn't a very interesting photo.
	Is it a forwarded message?
	No.
	I know we're not making good television right now, folks, but this just shows you how live it is.
	It's on the fly, yo.
	Pretty exciting stuff.
	Yeah, you're seeing news happen live.
	It's like, do, do, do, do, do.
	This is like the newsroom.
	I need TMZ.
	I need a big slurpee.
	Oh, I got something worth mentioning.
	Mentioning that tonight, the Cornell West and Candace Owens.
	Oh, yes, that's exciting.
	Yeah.
	Free speech episode will be.
	Tonight, if you tune into free speech.tv, you can watch Candace Owens and Cornell West.
	Yes.
	Duke it out.
	Awesome.
	All right, I just sent you the picture.
	Let me know when it arrives.
	Very important picture.
	Very important segue here.
	Because the Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under Law appears to be about 99% women.
	It's very diverse within the parameter of gender.
	Meaning, once you accept that it's 99% women, there's a wide variety of women, black, white, Hispanic.
	Not a ton of Asians.
	In fact, I don't see any.
	Yeah, that's the picture.
	And you think, is this really about hate or is it about how much you hate men?
	Is this about stopping a hate group from becoming cops?
	A hate group that will not help black people because they're so racist, they'll get a call 911.
	Yo, hey, 911, can I get some help here?
	I don't think so, dude.
	Hello, I'm wondering.
	I'm getting robbed by a Negro.
	We'll be right there, sir.
	That's their insane world, right?
	And you look at it and you go, this is a War on Trump.
	It's a War on Masculinity.
	And here's a clue.
	You want the clue?
	Go to the ugliest one in the photo.
	That's always a good place to start.
	The least attractive one there.
	Now go down to her shoes.
	What does that say?
	Look at her disgusting shoes.
	Something with TE at the end of it.
	Vote.
	Oh, geez.
	She's taken a magic marker and written vote on her feet.
	Vote with your feet.
	Yeah, why don't you vote yourself a little slimmer by walking?
	Yeah, why don't you once in a while?
	Right, jog.
	But go back to that committee.
	This group is all about the civil rights of voting.
	The only male there seems to be calling the shots, John M. Greenbaum.
	This is the guy getting cops fired.
	This is the guy.
	And isn't it funny how they attack cops and firemen?
	Like these guys are dedicated to saving your life when you're in trouble.
	And these cucks, these beta males, these pussies are shutting them down and preventing them from saving your life.
	Under the auspices of what?
	Fighting hate?
	But you're not about fighting hate.
	You're about getting illegals to vote.
	That's what these people are really about as far as I'm concerned.
	Obviously, you have to speak very carefully here because when you mess with lawyers, they mess with you back.
	But when you look at this guy's resume, go back to that write-up.
	You see Greenbaum has successfully litigated, go down to that, numerous cases in the federal courts.
	I can't read it because I'm on top of it.
	So go down.
	And it's argued before the United States Circle.
	Notable cases played a major role include Shelby County versus Holder, defense of the constitutionality of the Voting Rights Act, the Coalition for Equity and Excellence in Maryland Higher Education.
	Keep going.
	So stop, stop there.
	Desegregation in the school systems.
	Okay.
	Desegregation in the school systems.
	How old are you, dude?
	Challenge to Arizona's Document of Citizenship requirement for voter registration applicants.
	Drop the Mic it's a very expensive mic.
	I'm not going to just drop it on the ground, but I'm not Barack Obama.
	That's what this is about.
	Like the derb said many years ago, it's never about what it's about.
	So these guys are out there sabotaging cops' careers in order to make it look like they're these harbingers of justice who wipe out hate wherever they find it.
	But when you check the resume, you see a bunch of ugly fat broads who are mad at men for being men.
	And you see the true political agenda, which is taking advantage monetarily off the massive demand the DNC has for getting Hispanics to vote.
	Because they know without that Hispanic vote, they lose.
	And that is why they pry the borders open.
	They don't care about Mexicans.
	They don't care about blacks.
	They see them all as pawns in the chess game.
	It's all a lie.
	Oh, God, he looks terrible.
	So the women are mad because no one would fuck them in high school.
	And the men appear to have the same beef.
	Has he ever had sex?
	I don't know.
	He has a koala bear's face.
	Oh, we got to read our sponsors before we go offline.
	Oh, wow.
	We're at 46 minutes already.
	Yeah.
	Time flies when you're an awesome show.
	True day.
	But I lost my notes.
	Boy, one doctor's appointment really screws up the day, doesn't it?
	Screws the pooch.
	So let's start with Cavefe Coffee.
	Okay.
	Cavefe Coffee, now I may have misspoke in the previous times of the life where I said that you, if you use the promo code Gavin, you instantly get a discount.
	No, you need to spend 20 bucks in order to take advantage of the discount.
	But I can't find the website now, Ryan.
	What is it?
	C-O-V-F-E-F-E?com, it'll pop up.
	C-O-V-E-F-E.
	If you type it in without the dot com, it'll pop up.
	C-O-V-Covefefe.
	Covfefe.
	Again, I'm doing a really bad job of promoting this fucking place, and it's not coming up.
	I think it's do youcovefe.com?
	Why did you tell me that?
	I didn't know that.
	What is the URL?
	Oh, I don't know the URL.
	Well, it's on your screen, dude.
	Yeah, but I'm over there getting coffee.
	I know, but you just typed it in.
	Do you covefe.com?
	What is it?
	I was typing coffee fee.
	That didn't work!
	Alright.
	Well, it's on the site.
	Do you C-O-V-F-E-F-E.com.
	Yeah, the only reason it comes up on your fucking site is because you've had it up before.
	No, no, no.
	That is exactly why it comes up on your URL.
	I've never had it on my URL.
	Look, it's the first thing I searched in Google.
	I know, that doesn't work on my Google.
	What's wrong with your Google?
	I haven't been to this URL before on this computer, sir.
	No, it doesn't, it's not.
	It didn't fill in.
	Do you not believe me?
	Am I lying?
	You typed in coffee-fify coffee and search it in Google.
	C-E-F-E-F-E.
	Oh, no, you spelled it wrong.
	It's C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
	C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
	Oh, we got some commercials here.
	We got USA Today talking about Kevfi.
	You didn't type coffee afterwards?
	I did.
	That's maniacally mistaken.
	I did also do that.
	But it pops right up.
	It's the first link.
	No, the first link is Etsy.
	No, that's not that.
	That's the Google Image.
	Well, it's doing it now because now I've been to the URL.
	God.
	It's the first one.
	Sorry about that.
	Cavafed.
	That's okay.
	While we were promoting your product, there was some animosity.
	I hope the folks at home don't associate your brand with people yelling at each other.
	And I obviously don't sound like a great candidate for testosterone because I already have natural Reuters.
	Or coffee.
	Or coffee.
	Anyway, buy this shit.
	It's delicious.
	No, it really is great.
	We have it on the show.
	If you go to Diucafe.com and put in the promo code Gavin and spend 20 bucks of stuff, you get a discount.
	And they come in Red Pill Light Roast, MAGA Dark Roast, Whole Bean Cafe Kit has all of them.
	And I'm leaving one out.
	Red Pill Light Roast, Drain the Swamp Medium Roast, MAGA Blend Dark Roast.
	Support free speech companies.
	Support free speech.tv.
	Oh, geez.
	I really waited too long for these reeds?
	These reeds.
	And I have to wing them because I don't have them.
	But isn't that amazing that these groups, because I was talking about a lot of these civil rights groups just being grumpy feminists with an axe to grind.
	And then I look up this company that's trying to get this officer fired and I see a bunch of grumpy feminists with an axe to grind.
	And then you peel back another layer and you see the one male who runs the whole thing is actually just getting checks, allegedly.
	This is my theory.
	Getting checks from the DNC who need more votes.
	And they say, can you fight any kind of immigration restriction, especially when it comes to voting?
	You know what they're doing in California now?
	Handing out licenses.
	You don't have to actually pass your driver's license to get your driver's license.
	Now, why would they do that?
	They like car accidents?
	No one likes car accidents.
	Oh, California.
	Votes.
	I get it now.
	Also, we're going to be taking a lot of calls momentarily, but we'll be cutting you off, folks at home.
	I also feel I should talk about johnnyapplecbd.com.
	And the way you can find this is you go to johnnyapple.com.
	I'm hoarse now from yelling at you.
	They have CBD gummies, which we have tried with our Cvefe coffee, and it does take the morning jitters out of your coffee.
	Legit does.
	And again, use the promo code Gavin for this.
	They've got the gummies, they've got the topicals, they've got the cartridges, they've got the supplements, they've got the waxes, they've got the tinct, what you call it, tinctures.
	Tinctures.
	They've even got stuff for your pets.
	Now, it's the beauty of hemp and I guess marijuana, medical-grade CBD without the THC.
	Totally legal, available over the counter in all different states.
	All our CBD products becoming certified CRC child-resistant packaging are all natural terpene blends, provide an incredible aromatic flavor, experience, and entourage effect to your CBD.
	We offer an ongoing 20% discount to active duty military personnel and veterans.
	Contact us to redeem your discount.
	By the way, Johnny Apple, CBD, if you're watching, fun game to play with veterans is to pretend that they have stolen valor.
	And you say, I need to confirm you're a veteran before I can give you this discount.
	And then when they say 35th Battalion, go, there is no 35th Battalion, sir.
	Nice try.
	And boy, do they get mad.
	Another thing that I noticed vets don't like is you go, every time I see these Pearl Harbor vets congregate, you know, to acknowledge, I wouldn't say celebrate, an anniversary of that attack, none of them are hot.
	And I've never had a vet laugh at that joke.
	In fact, we had Terry Shappert go, I can't laugh at that joke.
	Finally, our final sponsor we're going to squeeze in before we shut you out is BetDSI.
	B-E-T-D-S-I dot com.
	Let's go there right now.
	If you go there and you put in Gavin, I get my own little thing, right?
	You have like a little banner.
	It makes everything more fun.
	Betting with Bet DSI doesn't just make baseball more fun.
	Baseball is done now, folks.
	We've got something called the World Series that I've, as a Mets fan, I'm not familiar with.
	Wait, I'm not getting anything.
	Bet DSI.com.
	And then if I go slash Gavin, I don't see the G-Dog.
	Do you?
	No, their site might be down because I'm having trouble looking at it.
	Well, I get Bet DSI.
	Have they X'd me?
	Am I dumped?
	See if you can pull up Bet DSI.
	Yeah, that's Bet DSI.
	So you go there, use promo code Gavin, and they match whatever your bet is.
	You have to put down 20 bucks to get started.
	But the amazing thing about Bet DSI is you can bet on football, baseball, NCAA.
	You can bet on WNBA, all sports, but also reality TV, celebrities, world events, virtually anything.
	And just try it once if you don't believe me.
	Betting on sports changes everything.
	Every tackle is a tackle on your wallet.
	Every foul is you being fouled.
	And when you win, Jesus, it's like your son is on the team.
	You are ecstatic.
	Betdsi.com.
	B-E-T-D-S-I.com.
	Use the promo code Gavin.
	Oh, it works, by the way.
	It turns into betdsi.eu slash Gavin.
	It reroutes you.
	Oh, it goes to Europe.
	Yep.
	That's how they pull it off.
	Isn't it ridiculous that gambling is illegal in all these different states?
	Like, I've heard of guys having to take their phones in New York and go over to Jersey with the PATH train, check their phones.
	Oh, I can bet now.
	Betting and then going back through the PATH.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So we got Kevin Wilcox.
	We managed to get in the sponsors in the free hour.
	I think we should switch to calls now.
	I also want to switch to the mailbag, though.
	Are we going to tune out of the YouTube folks?
	So let's...
	All right, because she found he was a prowboy, but let's deny the free people that.
	Bye, guys.
	So thank you for tuning in for free, you cheap ass.
	You can't spend $10 a month.
	That's like less than a hard liquor drink and slightly more than a beer every month.
	That's nothing.
	And you get endless content.
	Candace Owens and Cornell West coming up in a few hours.
	We have new shows from me every day.
	We got Joe Biggs and Milo.
	We're just opening up a blog on it.
	We have Soph coming in.
	Everyone is banned from internet.
	Everyone's being depersoned, de-platformed.
	Ends up on our show.
	We're the island of misfit toys in Clown World where no one gets a voice.
	And here, it's just like it was before Clown World took over.
	You can say whatever you want.
	And when you have total freedom like that, believe it or not, there's no racism, sexism, homophobia.
	It just doesn't naturally happen.
	So these assholes who are trying to control your life, they're not stopping hate.
	They're eradicating things in the name of stopping hate that have nothing to do with hate.
	They're just controlling you and trying to dictate how you think and what you say.
	Well, we're not having it here on free speech.tv.
	Stay tuned, subscribers.
	Stay tuned.
	As when you hear that song that our buddy made for us and you think of when we use your songs, aren't you flabbergasted by how much you suck?
	No.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Maybe that's your problem.
	Too much self-esteem.
	It's different.
	That already exists.
	Mine sounds different.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Okay, so here's an email I got from Nick Ox yesterday.
	So I was working at CPAC Korea and went out to a nice dinner with all the conservative celebrities and event organizers the night before.
	I was forced into it when I was busy at work, so I had short sleeves on.
	I saw my tattoo get noticed, but everyone, including Judge Jeanine, we know Judge Jeanine of Fox News, right?
	Pierrot, yeah?
	Was super pleasant the whole time.
	The next morning, I get word Judge Janine Piro wants me to delete all pictures I took because she's worried about her contract at Fox News, like they're going to fire her for accidentally being in the same room as me.
	By the way, that's totally conceivable, Nick.
	Yeah, that seems fair.
	I didn't take any selfies with these people because I'm not a nerd.
	I'm in the group photo working on getting that.
	So, next morning at KCPAC.
	So, I guess KCPAC is what?
	American Conservative Union is CPAC.
	Anyway, next morning at KCPAC, maybe Korea CPAC, I keep getting progressively restricted.
	Keep low.
	Let no one see your arm.
	Don't be in this or that area.
	It was obvious what was coming.
	I hadn't tweeted or bragged to anyone that I was working at KCPAC.
	I'm happy to just do my job and not be seen despite having a modest internet following.
	American Conservative Union, ACU is CPAC.
	Executive Director Dan Schneider, quote unquote, thanked me for playing along, and I just said I understood.
	As I said, I'm not here to tell people, but I just to help put on the event.
	Then I'm told if there are any posts with me in CPAC, I'll be removed.
	Judge Janine looks shocked to see me and then won't make eye contact.
	What a bitch.
	I just eat some appetizers and wait to be removed.
	My boss doesn't believe I will be.
	I'm about 50 minutes before KCPAC kicks off.
	I traveled to Korea for this.
	I was told repeatedly it's Judge Janine making the stink over me.
	CPAC leadership must have made the final call.
	This reminds me of the American conservative thing in, what was it, Miami?
	Where Michelle Malkin gets shut down by conservatives.
	So the conservative group kicks her out because the SPLC and the ADL were complaining.
	That's the real issue here, folks.
	It's not that we get nagged by the SPLC and the ADL and Antifa.
	It's that we capitulate.
	And this is true throughout the political, not the political spectrum, but throughout the right.
	When I was at Fox News, they were petrified of the Daily Show making fun of them.
	And I kept saying to them, who fucking cares?
	If Jon Stewart found out he was on Hannity, which he was a few times, and they were lampooning bits, he'd laugh his head off.
	He doesn't care.
	But the right goes, oh no, Antifa's mad at me.
	Oh no, Judge Janine is scared of being in a picture with someone who likes Trump too much in case Fox News gets harassed by the SPLC and gets in trouble.
	We're so scared of getting in trouble.
	What a bunch of fucking pussies.
	What are you looking at?
	Some chick.
	Somebody just mailbagged in.
	Have you guys seen this chick?
	You want to look at her?
	Okay.
	Pretty cool.
	We're getting arrested interrupted by hot chicks.
	How juvenile is this?
	You know, I haven't had a redhead since probably 1994.
	I hear their libido is unstoppable.
	They're just animals.
	That's pretty cool.
	She's got big lips.
	Yep.
	I mean, you understand, sir, you're showing us this very attractive young lady when we just saw God earlier in the show.
	So this isn't very fair to her.
	Should have waited a day.
	She's not killing me, though.
	I'm good enough to travel continents and work all day and into the night for these people, but not to be seen or near them.
	I'm good enough for the Marine Corps, but not CPAC.
	Even agreed to keep their secret that I was there.
	One potential HuffPost article means more to these people than conservativism.
	That might bring donations down for a week.
	Immediately got fired when I landed back in Hawaii.
	Nick.
	Wow.
	Clown world.
	Clown world!
	One, two, three.
	Clown world!
	All right.
	So I wanted to get that out.
	This is, by the way, about five days before Max Hare and John Kinsman go to prison for anywhere from 3.5 to 15 years for beating up Antifa.
	After Antifa ambushed them.
	After Antifa attacked a journalist that same night, beat the shit out of him, stole his equipment, and got fuck all.
	Because there was fuck, a fuck all else to do.
	How infuriating is that?
	So it's one thing where they fire you and you go, that's ridiculous.
	And they go, oh, you've been doxxed.
	You've been depersoned.
	All of that stuff is obviously annoying and dangerous and it fucks with your kids' lives, which is just, it's beyond cruel.
	I mean, bloods and crips don't fuck with people's kids.
	So anyway, that's one thing.
	But when the actual justice system is involved and guys go to real prison, Max and John aren't going to Rikers.
	They're going to actual prison.
	John's four black kids will not see their father, possibly for 15 years.
	That's taking your kids away from you.
	For what?
	Because after he got attacked by Antifa, he fought back for five seconds too long?
	Zero damages.
	And also, by the way, you say, well, there was no victims, but maybe they were really fucked up.
	No, the police saw them.
	There was no fucking blood.
	Antifa weren't even bleeding from this attack.
	No, it's gang violence.
	We need to stop these hate gangs.
	Oh, someone just sent in her shoes.
	They're Tom's, which are ethical shoes.
	You should have this email too, right?
	Ryan?
	Ryan?
	I'm seeing lawyers from DC is the name of the article, right?
	No, no, this just came into the mailbag right now from a live viewer.
	You get mailbag mail too, right?
	Yes.
	But you always talk about archives?
	Yeah, you did.
	I told you a better way to do it than archives.
	Okay, you finally caught up.
	With every pair you purchase, Toms will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need.
	Oh.
	They don't even want shoes in these shithole countries.
	They're just running around barefoot.
	Oh, so she didn't write it herself.
	These are a type of Toms.
	A disgusting pig.
	Hey, Gab, I think Ben Shapiro has taken your advice to scream into pillows before recording his show.
	In his recent episodes, his voice is notably deeper and more gravelly.
	Just listen to 10 seconds from his last episode and compare it to something over a year ago.
	Unless he got a new microphone and recovered from a recent cold, I think you have a secret listener.
	Good.
	I don't punch right, and I'm waiting for the revolution to end, and then I can start hating, you know, paleocons and neocons.
	But right now, if you want less government, I love you.
	I like Crowder.
	I like Owen Benjamin.
	I like Milo.
	I like Ben Shapiro.
	I never criticized Ben, although he's been a little close to the line with me as far as criticizing me.
	But my one criticism of him has always been that fucking voice.
	Jesus, he sounds like a chipmunk.
	I don't know what kind of voice you're talking about, frankly.
	There are a lot of things that are, you know, my voice, but.
	This one's from Megan.
	Hey, Gavin, I agree with your stance on women in power.
	I especially believe this to be true in politics.
	It's unfortunate that the media is pushing women into politics as I don't think that we are well suited for this role at all.
	Yeah, you're too vindictive.
	I recently interviewed, let's do an interview on a YouTube channel called Slightly Offensive, where they interviewed a guy stressing this exact point.
	The guy they interviewed made a lot of good points on why women shouldn't be in political roles, which I agree with.
	The main point being that unlike most men, we are much too emotional and tend to let these emotions control our actions.
	This is obviously not a good trait to have when you're trying to lead a country.
	I believe that there are certain jobs that are best suited to women as well as for men, but unfortunately the media is telling us otherwise, which is ultimately putting women and men in jobs and roles that they naturally shouldn't be in.
	Someone sent me an article from LinkedIn today, too, that said that after marriage, women tend to make 71 cents on the dollar compared to men.
	And you go, yeah, because they experience how often babies are, how awesome, and don't want to sit in a cubicle anymore.
	They want to be with their angels.
	It's called a choice.
	I thought you were pro-choice.
	I wish women would realize, like typical woman, though, she's going on and on and on.
	We'll realize that these jobs aren't quite for them.
	I've always gone along with male coworkers.
	Women and men communicate very.
	You get the idea.
	Thanks, Megan.
	Here's one from Siara.
	Dear Gavin and Ryan, kind of feel like I'm eeling into the void here, but here it goes.
	Ages ago, you talked about Matt Berry in Toast of London.
	I can't remember if you mentioned Garth Merengi's Dark Place, which he was in before Toast.
	Yes, we're very familiar with Garth Moringi's Dark Place.
	That was from the dude who played the IT guy in the original British Office.
	And Garth Moringhi's Dark Place is a wonderful show.
	Toast of London is great.
	And you know what else is really good?
	Is this new vampire thing that Matt Berry is also in?
	Hello?
	Something about in the shadows of the...
	It is such a high-quality show.
	You can ignore the fact that the filmmakers are the guys who have the worst politics imaginable and cry themselves to sleep at night thinking about Trump.
	What we do in the shadows?
	What we do in the shadows.
	This show rules.
	it's got my dream girl in it.
	And every time you wear it, something bloody, stupid, terrible happens.
	Nonsense.
	Gizmo likes it, don't you?
	It's Guillermo.
	Lazzo's stupid hat.
	Kismo likes it.
	Look how hot she is.
	That's my type.
	British Jews.
	I acquired this hat while draining the blood of a Bavarian Hexenbrenner or witch burner.
	That's a good episode, too.
	The hat does turn out to be very cursed.
	Chuck Izzo.
	Love your show.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Saw the Columbus Day episode, thought it was awesome.
	Don't know if it was the intent, really think anyone was able to late suffering the same way.
	I mean, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Okay.
	Anyway, I had an idea.
	Probably not the first someone who suggests this, but you and Detective Shitty should do a bit where you guys portray Cluso and Kato from one of those scenes in the Pink Panther movies.
	Okay, thank you for that idea, Chuck.
	That is a good scene.
	Blair.
	Gav, I almost did not have a family and kids.
	Thank you for being pro-family, pro-father.
	To all those who need one, please share more of this in your program.
	Without you and a few others, Adam Kroller, Jordan Peterson, I may have never sought out and committed to being a strong father figure.
	My dysfunctional parents and Libtard teachers brainwashed me to hold disdain for the nuclear family, fatherhood, and masculinity.
	My wife is now pregnant with our second child.
	Yes.
	And is the most rewarding endeavor I could have imagined.
	It is the most rewarding endeavor.
	So thank you.
	You're welcome, dude.
	Mark Esteban.
	I think you'll appreciate this Gav, Extinction Rebellion being put under manners by the Great Unwashed.
	Love it.
	Have you got that video?
	I'm playing the Cluseau one.
	Okay, we don't need that.
	Go to...
	9.50 a.m. today.
	We get a lot of fucking mail.
	A lot.
	In fact, we've received two.
	I just got a Matt Berry one right now.
	Matt Berry walked past us when we were doing Proud Boys drinking in London last September.
	Instead, you were looking at a red phone box.
	That's funny.
	Now, this is perfect because this is what's really going on in Britain.
	It's working class versus the middle class.
	Did you start at the beginning?
	Yep.
	And the working class here are being prevented from going to work.
	And these ponces, look at them.
	Never experienced conflict before.
	These academics, private school kids are getting attacked by people who want to go to work, who don't want to get fired, who need to make money and put food on their table for their kids.
	And by the way, you are lucky you did not get the living shit beaten out of you.
	If you did this in a Muslim area of London and stood on a train protesting a mosque, you would be dead.
	You'd be stabbed in the neck a thousand times.
	Look at how civil they are.
	They just throw them down, give them maybe a couple kicks.
	Look at this.
	I'm not having it.
	Bravery in Britain is not dead.
	Oi, what are you doing?
	You're getting down, mate.
	You're pissing me off, fucking extinction rebellion, my ass.
	Get down.
	I said, get down, you cunt.
	Fucking prick.
	Go, get him.
	Just a few good kicks.
	Nothing too major.
	And I'm not advocating for violence, so don't throw my friends in prison again.
	Hmm.
	East London is back, he says.
	Oh, here's an interesting one.
	Remember, we had that art student who was destroying her painting?
	It was a prank.
	The art student you featured staged it to make a point.
	Well, you did a great job.
	That's good art.
	You made a believable viral video about shitty artists.
	You have to skip ahead to see where she says it's a prank.
	This is fake.
	This means it be a Skype teddy?
	Real or fake?
	This is fake.
	Performance art.
	The whole idea behind this piece was we were given an assignment on our senior critique class, and the assignment was do something and work in a medium you had never worked with before.
	And for me, that was performance art.
	Okay, that's good.
	That's interesting.
	Now, we called her hot.
	And if you look at the next link in that letter, the reader, the viewer tells us that it's a trans model.
	Now, you heard that voice.
	Please, just so I don't feel gay, please tell me it's a woman who is genderless.
	Oh, no, that one looks pretty male.
	No, that's a female frame.
	She wants to be a boy.
	So she wears jeans and a t-shirt and says, I'm a tomboy boy.
	Right?
	Because I've had feelings for this woman.
	That looks like a dude.
	That looks kind of like a dude.
	Like dudes.
	What?
	Is there a wet wipe you can get or a bleach wipe for your brain?
	Yeah.
	Blech.
	I'll try to figure out what's what with this thing.
	Person.
	With this noun.
	We have a lot of people writing in, especially from the south.
	Oh, she has views on Trump's on Trump, by the way.
	Oh, I wonder what those could be.
	She wants a wall sooner than later?
	No, believe it or not, no.
	What?
	Shane from Alabama.
	I was listening to the fake news overload, and as far as all the people complaining about you swearing, fuck them.
	I've been following you since Compound Media Days when you'd fuck porn stars on the green screen called gay black dudes that want you to fart in their noodles, et cetera.
	Don't change.
	Anyways, you said that you and the Prowboys are extremely pro-gun.
	How can you be pro-gun while living in the most anti-Second Amendment-friendly states?
	Great question.
	What do you want me to do?
	Move?
	Yeah, move.
	I have kids.
	My kids are set up.
	Their roots are down.
	Okay.
	My son's a baseball legend.
	I'm not ripping him up and going to the south.
	Oh, that used to be a dude.
	That used to be a dude?
	Oh, yeah.
	Groo.
	How is she that skitty?
	The voice, though.
	It wasn't one of those, like, hi, I've always been a woman and I love it.
	I think, I mean, I don't even understand why I can't breed.
	Since she transitioned at 16, she's been living as cis female.
	She was very lucky.
	She won the genetic lottery because she looked a certain way and her voice hadn't dropped.
	Wait, cis female?
	She was born, that's what she identifies now.
	So she likes guys as a female.
	So she's a cis gendered female.
	And they just put it in her butt?
	Yep.
	Those poor butts.
	That should be our thing about gays.
	We go to these Christian protests, and we're just worried about their butts.
	Hey, guys.
	They're poor butts.
	It says.
	We go to gay circuit parties.
	These poor guys and their butts, the anal muscles can't take that kind of abuse.
	We're butts actors.
	We're just worried about their butts here.
	We love gays.
	We're concerned that that type of intercourse is not designed.
	That's right.
	They're poor butts.
	That should be, you know, Tom of Finland?
	We should make that a shirt for Vice.
	I mean, for Vice.
	Whoops, Freudian Slip.
	For free speech.tv.
	And it just has a Tom of Finland drawing.
	Tom of Finland.
	Look up Tom of Finland, Ryan.
	Second I say him.
	And it should just say below it, they're poor butts.
	Wouldn't that be an awesome t-shirt?
	Like, you choose one of those SNM ones from the top.
	Yeah, yeah, where they're all hanging out.
	And it just says in big letters, they're poor butts.
	That's really great.
	Wow.
	Oh, my lord.
	Oh, my.
	You're not familiar with Tom of Finland?
	This stuff's kind of gay.
	I don't get a gay vibe from it.
	You don't?
	I mean, his nipples are a good gay dar.
	Their nipples are erect.
	Well, it's probably cold out.
	Some buddies are hanging out.
	What's up with this?
	Two friends hanging and carrying one friend on his shoulders.
	You see gay and everything.
	Maybe you're gay.
	Maybe you're right.
	I mean.
	Yeah, there's just a guy with his penis out on a hot day.
	Your dink gets hot in leather pants.
	And it's kind of my fault for looking.
	Like, why am I looking down there?
	How is that gay?
	How would I have known?
	You think everything is gay?
	Yeah, that's just.
	Oh, I suppose that's two homos.
	I see that that's regular now.
	It's in the stall.
	Two police officers, or it's a police officer confronting a shoplifter, trying to keep our stores safe, trying to help people who work in retail, or sorry, Barnes in the horse community safe.
	Yeah, that's true.
	You're weird, dude.
	That's a guy.
	That's probably a guy who just got back from flying, and he's like slapping his ass the way they do in football and saying, oh, good guy.
	Good flight.
	Good flight, pilot.
	I mean, this one looks like...
	That's probably a guy who's a seamstress.
	He works in clothing and he's admiring the stitching on his friend's uniform, thinking we should do that with our pants.
	Wow, I do sure do feel silly.
	Taking a trip into your brain is a weird place to go, my friend.
	Oh, look, this is awesome, though.
	These are like real life.
	They're painted to look like the thing.
	The cartoon.
	Anyway, should we take some calls?
	You've had the number on the screen.
	Have you had the app open?
	Yep.
	We have Leaving New York.
	Leaving New York, you're online.
	Hello.
	Hey.
	Yes, sir.
	Can you hear us, you queer homosexual?
	Of color?
	Can you hear us, Gaby?
	Better watch out for the gabies.
	Hey, we heard you.
	Game inquiry.
	Yes.
	What's up, dog?
	Well, I was going to ask, but I was going to ask about that mailbag without in New York, but instead, I'll just ask if you've watched any of Coppercast's streams and that he wants to fight you again and you should have him back on the show.
	His streams have just been one giant Proud Boy Fest, basically.
	Well, we're trying to negotiate a deal with him where he does a food show for us.
	The last thing he asked me was, how much I'm going to pay him?
	I said, how much do you want?
	Hoping he says something crazy like 20 bucks.
	But yeah, I think he'd be a great addition to the show.
	I have to be very careful when I'm allotting shows too, because I don't want this to become too political.
	So say we have five political guys, then it's the new like Daily Wire.
	I want to have more funny.
	And I think Copper Keb is a very funny dude.
	But yeah, as far as moving to New York, I'm not.
	And plus, I don't feel like leaving New York.
	Why should I have to leave?
	Just because they fucked it up?
	I like New York.
	Women know that you're facing jail time.
	mean yeah I mean that's a good point but I And I got to be honest, I love the people of the South.
	The heat fucking kills me.
	And I kind of don't like this whole how to drive everywhere thing.
	Strip mall after strip mall after strip mall.
	And you go drive, everyone has dinner, then they go drive to this thing, and it's all hot out.
	I don't know.
	I get what you're saying, though, sir, and I appreciate it.
	Thank you.
	All right, we got Jim.
	Want to talk about Denise McCarthy?
	Oh, one other thing I wanted to add.
	Copper Cab, I was genuinely worried about that fight because he showed himself training.
	He's about 6'2 ⁇ .
	He's a big boy.
	And then my first punch into his body, I realized this is the easiest thing.
	I'll fight him anytime now.
	I have zero fear.
	I'd fight him.
	He could wake me up in the middle of the night and they could go bing.
	And I'd be like, oh, okay.
	No problem at all.
	Can we hear a second of Shapiro?
	I'm bringing out literature from Leviticus.
	Like, why in the world would you not express the same degree of tolerance toward people who disagree with you than toward people who disagree with you?
	Disagree with you.
	A little.
	Yeah.
	It's pretty chipmunky still.
	He's trying.
	All right, who's next?
	We got Jim talking about Denise McAllister.
	Is that what this is?
	Who's that again?
	Yeah, I think Shapiro, Firegirl.
	I don't know.
	Recommend her for The Island of Miss Fish.
	She's a great writer, and she might be good on video and podcasts.
	But I wanted to take your take on something.
	I've gone out with this girl a few times.
	She was great, had lots of fun, good sense of humor.
	Mind you, we were drunk a lot of the times.
	But if she asks you to slap her face during sex and you comply, but she wants you to do it harder, so you endure further and you end up, you know, busting her lip or giving a black eye or hurting her jaw, should you feel guilty when she can't chew without pain for a week?
	Or should you make her eat tough steak at every meal?
	And similarly, if she gives you the green light to fuck her while she sleeps without waking her up, if that's possible, do you take her up on it or is that weird?
	I'm just asking for a friend that I like to do.
	I think that is both weird and if she suggests it, then by all means.
	I mean, it's like I said earlier where men must walk out of the door going, please let me get raped because they're so scared of doing stuff.
	But I remember back in my day, before me too, you were constantly, like, you, especially in New York, especially with Jewish girls in New York where they want it so rough, it's shocking.
	Like, they don't say hit me, they say, kill me.
	I'm your whore.
	And you're just like, but the goal is getting as close to that danger zone without ruining your life and ending up in jail.
	And I think the smartest way to do that is to, you know, constantly be feeling around, see what's going to happen to you.
	It's a treacherous time, man.
	And the irony is women are incredibly turned on by that strange line between going too far and just getting up.
	I mean, how many girls have you heard like to be choke fucked?
	That never occurred to us as guys.
	We would dress as clowns if that turned you on.
	And I remember as a young man, when I first started getting laid, like in my late teens, I'd be all, is this okay?
	Is this okay?
	And then one time I sort of went on her ass and said, who's your daddy?
	And I was all of a sudden at the rodeo.
	And so you go, all right, I'm pursuing this vein now.
	So they're the ones who invented all this rough stuff.
	But yeah, I would try to avoid black guys and black guys.
	And black eyes, too.
	And black eyes.
	The Lord made them sound the same for a reason.
	Just kidding.
	But, you know, here's a tip I would give.
	If you guys are breaking up a lot, definitely avoid anything rough.
	Because the last thing you need is to deal with it.
	What are you getting in the fridge?
	Why do you need water so fucking bad?
	Because I'm on antibiotics.
	So?
	That doesn't mean anything.
	Why do you need to stay hydrated?
	We're not working out.
	We're answering the fucking phone.
	Look, you called the fire department?
	I just felt like, yeah, I needed that much water.
	I need them to crack a hydrant for this I am.
	Good fighters don't need it.
	Bad fighters don't deserve it.
	Now, urine, on the other hand, you're in.
	Yeah, you got electrolytes in there?
	Like a straight-up boot?
	What else?
	Color?
	We got testosterone on the line.
	Hey, Davin, this is Frontier.
	Just wanted to mention for anybody else who's interested in learning more about testosterone, there's an awesome documentary called Bigger, Faster, Stronger.
	And be warned, if you watch this documentary, you will find yourself ordering yourself some testosterone the next day.
	I was on Test Stipionate for two years.
	It was the funnest two years of my life.
	Now, what were the side effects?
	Oh, Jesus, look at this fucking guy.
	What were your side effects when you Stopped.
	None.
	The only side effects I had when I was on it was I had to go get medicine for high blood pressure.
	That's a concern.
	But my testicles didn't shrink at all.
	My wife's right here.
	She can attest to that.
	Testicles are perfect.
	And yeah, wait, is your wife a bird?
	What was that sound she made?
	Testicles are tapa tapirk?
	Hey, I'm from South Africa.
	Don't tune me.
	Oh, you're a you sound like a sea kefa.
	Yeah, you massa pus.
	A sea keffir.
	Yes, oh, and Gavin, if you want to say boar correctly, it's boo.
	You gotta roll it out.
	Shoot the boor.
	Shoot to kill.
	Shoot.
	I had a great idea for South Africans.
	I'm gonna do a PSA about farmers' dogs in South Africa and how they're getting murdered and how they're drilling drills into old dogs and they're burning the puppies alive in boiling water.
	And I'll finish the whole PSA with like Photoshop pictures.
	And then at the very end, when I've got everyone's heartstrings, I'll go, oh, wait, sorry.
	I meant human beings.
	That's the only way we can get people to give a shit.
	Thank you.
	I'm 17 weeks pregnant, and you, we've been watching you for a couple years now, and you've definitely helped change my mind and outlook on the whole family thing.
	So thanks.
	Thank you for thanking me.
	And the other thing I would say to women like you is, okay, you've tried the feminist stuff with the partying and the cocks and all that.
	I'm not saying you have.
	You're a boar, so probably not.
	But these other women, I go, just give it a whirl.
	I mean, just dip your toe in it.
	Just hold a baby.
	Hold your niece.
	Work in a fucking daycare for an hour.
	And then get back to me if these things are such disgusting pieces of shit.
	Smell their hair.
	Smell their breath.
	It smells like an angel's fart.
	Yeah, we're pretty excited.
	But again, I'm not taking testosterone, sir.
	I'm taking that pill stuff that tells your balls to make more testosterone.
	Don't take the pill.
	Do the injections.
	Once you learn how to do it, it's not bad at all.
	The pills will fuck up your liver.
	The safest way is just do the injection.
	Get testicpionate.
	That's what they'll prescribe you anyway.
	It's pretty awesome.
	Okay.
	Well, I'll look into it.
	All the guys at my gym and all the military dudes I know just fucking ram it into themselves 10 times a day.
	But I want to go to the doctor root, tech my bloods.
	If eventually I want to fly the coop, but I don't want to be ripped, ripped.
	I just want to lose these fucking puppet shoulders and have maybe like these.
	We got Boston talking about what I should do whenever I leave school.
	Ryan would have to get into some sort of a school first for that to be an issue.
	Oh, you want to know what you should do?
	Yes.
	Hello?
	Yeah, yeah.
	You hear me, right?
	Yep.
	Hello?
	I can hear you.
	By the way, it's Austin.
	Austin, dude.
	What the fuck?
	Alright.
	But yeah, so I know you're from Canada, and I'm from Canada also, and I want to go to the U.S., but everybody thinks I'm crazy for it, you know?
	And I'm beginning to think I'm crazy.
	So yeah, I'm just thinking, like, I really want to, but, you know, I feel like an idiot.
	What city are you in?
	I hung up.
	You hung up?
	He did.
	Oh.
	Well, Canada's the same as America.
	America loves to shit on Canada as their little brother who's never good enough.
	Chicago, outside of the south side of Chicago, is indistinguishable from Toronto.
	It's the same city.
	Ottawa is D.C. All of these.
	There's nothing magical that's going to happen here.
	I mean, there's beach towns in Florida, but then you have sandbanks and stuff, and you have Vancouver Island, Victoria.
	So Seattle and Vancouver are the exact same city, totally indistinguishable besides Vancouver having more junkies.
	So I don't see the mass appeal of coming down here.
	It's really fucking hard.
	They punish those who follow the rules.
	Speaking of punishing those who follow the rules, I know a plumber who was telling me that after there was that big explosion in the East Village, they now have to get all these extra gas licenses.
	And it's irritating because it reminds me of immigration, wherein they're punishing those who follow the rules.
	The guys who are getting these licenses were already treating gas correctly.
	The ones who blew up that building in the East Village a few years ago were illegal Polaks who had circumvented the gas with a fucking garden hose.
	And that's why that building blew up.
	But that brings me to the answer to your question, which is I think the best two trades right now are plumber and electrician.
	You totally wasted your time going to college.
	That was a complete waste of money.
	But what are you going to do now?
	There's no such thing as a time machine.
	So I would suggest you pretend that didn't happen.
	Give up on getting a job in whatever stupid shit you took at college, mass comm or speech therapy or fucking political science.
	There's a retarded one.
	Become a plumber and electrician.
	And you can be an apprentice for a while.
	You can join the union.
	You cannot join the union.
	If you're very ambitious as a plumber, you can get your gas license or not.
	And say you're a lazy plumber, right?
	And you don't even go to plumber school.
	You just become an apprentice.
	As an apprentice, you're going to be making 50, 60K in no time.
	And then you're going to be paid 70K even before you get your license.
	It takes seven years to get your license as a plumber.
	And then, boom, you're making like almost 100K a year.
	That's without your gas license.
	That's you as a lazy plumber.
	Now say you're ambitious and you're a plumber.
	Now you get your gas license, you're handling gas.
	Then you start getting a team of guys.
	Now there's jobs that you're not even at where you're generating money.
	Now you're looking at 200 grand a year.
	You know how long it takes a lawyer or someone in finance or someone in real estate to make 200 grand a year?
	For fucking ever.
	Yes, you do see rich lawyers living in the burbs.
	You see them at Grand Central.
	Those guys were making jack shit for 15 years.
	There's no, not even close to that kind of a time with plumbers and electricians.
	It's fun too.
	You're with The guys on the job, it's not like being a mechanic where you're hurting your hands all the time.
	There's great breaks, great benefits, too.
	When I say 80 grand, I'm not even including all the insane benefits they get and the holidays and the fucking time and a half.
	Now, an electrician, there's a strong risk you're going to get zapped at least once or twice in your career.
	People get hit by cars.
	It's not the end of the world.
	It's very uncomfortable for a couple hours.
	And as far as the gas blowing up as a plumber, it's not going to happen.
	All right, next call.
	We got, it says T-Money.
	Hey, guys.
	Hey, what's up?
	What's up, Team?
	Yeah, I just want to say, love your show.
	You're doing God's work.
	That call before with the husband and wife reminded me a lot of myself and my wife.
	We watch you guys every night.
	You guys are our late night.
	You guys are the new late night for us.
	Oh, great.
	But I do got to say, I do got to say, how the hell did you not know that video was fake, number one?
	And number two, how did you not know there was something up with that chick?
	I mean, I didn't think it was a dude or anything, but she had no chest.
	It's one thing to have no chest, but she had a concave chest, which is pretty hard to do.
	You know, explain that one.
	Oh, do you make fun of retarded people too?
	Do you go up to someone in a wheelchair and say, what's going on there, Gimpy, and start dancing around him?
	Yes, I screwed up.
	I made a mistake.
	I feel terrible about it.
	I lusted after a dude, and I took a fake video totally seriously.
	You think I'm happy about the fact that I want a dick in my mouth all of a sudden?
	And as far as that video goes, I've noticed that us Generation Xers are much poorer at capturing fake shit than millennials.
	Ryan called it right out of the gate.
	I didn't smell a rat.
	Maybe because we have too much faith?
	Or maybe because you guys grew up with this shit and you're just better at it.
	All right, next call.
	Thanks.
	Whoops.
	I have to edit that out.
	No, you don't.
	Does it show their actual numbers?
	Yeah.
	There's numbers.
	Okay.
	We have Dustin from Houston.
	Dusty Housty.
	Dusty Houston.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hello.
	What's going on, guys?
	We heard there's a big lockdown with school share.
	Is there a school shooting going on there?
	I don't know.
	I'm at work right now.
	I'm watching you.
	I don't know what's going on.
	I was not.
	My wife's a teacher.
	I don't see it on Twitter moments.
	I was going to say, what is that?
	I don't see it on Twitter moments.
	All right, go ahead.
	Sorry.
	That's not good.
	I was going to say that homeless guy was awesome the other day.
	Ryan, you held yourself really well with him.
	You should definitely make him your co-host for Ryan's mailbag.
	Because that would be fucking hilarious.
	That's a great idea.
	Thank you.
	That's a really good idea.
	Yeah, also, on Milo and I the other day, they said something about you sending a video of you jerking yourself off in return for a girl's just face picture.
	Oh, no, no.
	What's the deal with that, man?
	I wasn't jerking myself off.
	I just let my dick flop out.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	See, it made it sound like just to see her face, you were showing her a video of you jerking off.
	I did want to see her face.
	I also wanted her to spread around the word.
	I don't know what was wrong with me.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	When did you do that?
	Yeah, because usually it's like face-to-face, and her tits, and your dick, and then like, I want her to look at me.
	That's how the exchange works.
	I didn't know Ryan did this.
	Congratulations.
	Thanks.
	Congratulations.
	Milo 50 is a big dick.
	So, gentlemen.
	Good.
	And I also showed Milo too, Gavin.
	You have to watch Milo.
	I understand you represent this show to a certain extent.
	So if you ever do anything rapey.
	Oh, that's not rapey at all.
	I'm out of a job.
	That's not rape jobs.
	This is all shut down.
	If you send some fucking young girl a video of you beating off and she turns out to be 14, this is all done.
	Yeah, if I do anything illegal, I'm sure that's bad for everything and everybody.
	But this was totally legal and totally kosher.
	How do you know who she was?
	Because we talk to each other on the internet.
	Not like that, though, which is funny.
	We're just friends.
	That reminds me, gentlemen, if you get an unsolicited nude from a lady, make sure the next picture she sends is her driver's license.
	Oh.
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	And be very freaked out if she thinks that's a crazy idea.
	Go ahead.
	Hello?
	Go ahead, dude.
	Hey, so I know back before your Vice days, you used to be a paperboy, right?
	What other jobs have you had and what other job experience?
	And what was probably your favorite job besides Vice?
	Before it got shitty.
	Okay, thank you for calling, sir.
	What happened to the soundboard there?
	Just press the button.
	Did a ghost jump.
	Did you accidentally push something that's fucked up the whole show?
	No.
	You sure?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	What did I do?
	So I was a cartoonist for a while.
	I didn't like that job.
	It was fun to make art, but it was taking me like a day to do a page that took someone three seconds to read, and obviously there's no money in it.
	So graphic novelist didn't work out, though I probably will get back to that one day.
	I was a bike messenger, which fucking sucked in Montreal because you're riding through the snow.
	You got to get up in the dark at 6 a.m. in the winter.
	And Montreal winters are brutal.
	And riding a mountain bike over black guys and getting black eyes on black ice sucks shit.
	I was a tree planter, which was fun, brutal hard work.
	It was like going to the gym every day for 10 hours a day.
	But you get in amazing shape.
	You make pretty good money if you work, if you're efficient.
	And that was great for my mental and spiritual health.
	It's two months a year just being in the bush.
	What else did I do?
	I've done a million jobs.
	I like dishwashing.
	That was fun.
	I like jobs where you can riff in the back.
	So kitchen jobs were always fun.
	That's why I recommended plumbing and electrician, by the way, because they're fun to do.
	What's this now?
	That's the school lockdown thing.
	Multiple schools on lockdown after possible school shooting threat is Texas.
	That's not really.
	We're not a news show, dude.
	After there is a real shooting, we'll talk about it.
	But yeah.
	That actually seems ethical because when the bodies are cold, we talk about it.
	Well, look at Sargon and Tim Fool telling us that Proud Boys were likely responsible for running over that Antifa kid and saying right-wing violence is really too extreme and it's probably patriot prayer.
	I've been researching that, watching it like a hawk since it happened, and it's really looking like an Antifa on Antifa violence thing.
	This is true too of Nazi skinheads.
	They're just violent people.
	So if you have a Nazi skinhead rally and it's just Nazis, they're going to end up beating the shit out of each other.
	It's like a pack of wild dogs.
	Antifa is the same way.
	If they can't find proud boys to fight with, they just start fighting themselves.
	This guy wants to talk about Vincent Gallo.
	Hey, Jake, you're on the line.
	Howdy.
	Yeah, I was just curious.
	You have Vincent Gallo in the intro to the show, and I don't remember Gavin ever talking about him ever, really.
	And he was, you know, big in the hipster scene and big in the punk scene, and he actually was like big conservative after 9-11.
	Don't you have any Vincent Gallo stories?
	Well, I've only hung out with him a couple times.
	He's good buddies with Sean Lennon, and he is a Trump dude.
	He's an awesome guy, really funny, huge ego.
	What happened to him, though?
	I hated that Buffalo 66 movie where it starts out with a race in real time that goes on for 100 years, and then everyone wants to watch it because Chloe 7 blows him and he shows his boner.
	But yeah, I really like him a lot.
	I will try to get him on the show, but I think he's retired.
	I think that he's just given up.
	I mean, no one's heard of him, right?
	I heard of him buying an apartment in Manhattan.
	I'll try to pair him up with Dinesh D'Souzo.
	I tried to get Brett East Nales for that.
	But I don't know.
	Sometimes I get discouraged trying to get celebrities.
	It's a beautiful-looking movie, isn't it?
	Yeah, it looked pretty good, actually.
	Pretty classic-looking.
	All right, next.
	Okay.
	We got Jacob Freedom Express.
	Jacob, you're online.
	All right, Gavin?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So I wanted to talk about, you mentioned this artist last week.
	You played this Polish band Behemoth.
	So this main singer from this band was involved in this huge controversy where he tore up the Bible on stage, you know, just for a shock factor.
	And also we've been getting a lot of, I'm Polish, and in Poland we've had a lot of controversies, a lot of profanities regarding different religious symbols related to Catholicism, which is obviously a dominant branch of Christianity.
	What do you take on that?
	Do you think that freedom of expression covers that?
	Can it shit on the religion?
	Of course it does.
	Of course it does.
	And I'm not saying like I encourage, it's not my cup of tea.
	It looks kind of lame, actually, to be shitting on Christianity when that's so mainstream.
	Like I was at a Mets game once, and the singer of Bad Religion was in the audience, and the camera focused on him, and everyone in the stadium was cheering.
	Yay, the singer of Bad Religion.
	And their logo is a Christian cross crossed out.
	Can you imagine the singer of a band where the Star of David was crossed out?
	Yay!
	Israel haters is here.
	The Jew suck singer is here.
	Or the crescent moon, the Muslim symbol crossed out.
	Yay, the anti-Muslim, no Muslim band is here.
	Like, it's interesting they're called no bad religion, but they only focus on one when it comes to their symbol.
	They don't tend to talk about Islam and Judaism much.
	So I don't have a, I think free speech has no boundaries.
	You don't want children to get hurt.
	Credible threats are already in the law.
	The head of the blood says kill this person.
	That's not free speech.
	That's murdering someone, commanding a murder.
	But the law already handles that.
	So whatever the law says is already good.
	I don't like seeing Christians be bashed just because it's piss Christ and the dung elephant elephant dung Virgin Mary thing is tedious to me.
	Although sometimes I think the beauty of art is it's open to interpretation.
	So you could look at piss Christ and say, this is how Christianity is being treated.
	250 Christians die a day from Muslims.
	And we basically put Jesus in a fucking big box of piss.
	Or when they made the Virgin Mary to elephant dung, you could be saying, this is how the Virgin Mary is treated in the world as a big pile of shit.
	So no, don't censor it.
	Yeah, don't censor it.
	Poland is the last bastion of Westernism in the fucking world.
	I literally were just talking about that yesterday because I like this band Ghost.
	And then they like Satanic and crosses and all that stuff.
	And it's just like, it's not your job to judge other people.
	It's just a silly game.
	Yeah, it's rock and roll.
	Yeah.
	Keith with a couple of accolades.
	Accolades.
	Hey, what's up, poor butts?
	Whoa.
	Hey, couple of questions real quick, and then a couple of accolades in a question.
	Ryan, you're China's billionaire, your Jack Ma, and the Asian sneaker review oppression guy.
	Oh, man, spot on, dude.
	Hilarious.
	Incorporate it more.
	It's really good.
	You like my dancing?
	And he's allowed to do it because he's got those weird eyes.
	Sounded like Norm McDonald's.
	The weird eyes.
	Thanks.
	Gavin, I just want to say that you're the man.
	I wanted to thank you for the crouching over sex position tip.
	Doctor said my wife and I weren't going to be able to have any kids, so gave your position a try and had nothing to lose.
	Fast forward, and we're now expecting our drumroll, please.
	Our second child in January.
	Nice.
	Yeah, you're the man, man.
	Is it a male?
	I just want to say it works, fellas.
	Say it again.
	Is it a male?
	Not sure yet.
	We're going to wait a little bit.
	I want to say to all the fellas listening, give it a try.
	It definitely works.
	But Ryan, honestly, not sure it's going to work on that little boy you're sleeping with, but hey, anything's possible, man.
	I am not sleeping with you.
	Go ahead.
	No, I'm just joking.
	Hey, my question is, you're constantly being kind of disingenuously accused of PC culture things, like racist things, white supremacists, et cetera, et cetera.
	Are there any videos of you out there, like compilation or otherwise, opposing the very things you're kind of a pariah for?
	Yeah, I made a video like that called Gavin McInnis in His Own Words.
	It's on my YouTube channel.
	I don't know.
	It doesn't have that many views.
	And people want to believe what they want to believe.
	So, you know, we're living in curious times.
	They may rather see the nigger montage than see me hanging out with black dudes complaining about racism because that doesn't fit the narrative.
	But yeah, you can find me on YouTube by going to the Gavin 2000.
	And that video is called...
	where is it now?
	It's called Gavin McInnes In His Own Words.
	It's really old.
	Vic Berger is a fan.
	Okay, I'll start pointing people that.
	Hey, by the way, hopefully it's just my phone connection, but I can hear the colors spot on.
	Ryan, you sound pretty good, but Gavin, you sound like you're in the other side of the room.
	Hopefully it's mine maybe in the next call because I can confirm or deny, but cool.
	Thanks, guys.
	See you guys later.
	Thanks, David.
	Let's try that.
	I don't want that.
	What?
	Me sounding like I'm far away?
	Yeah.
	Now I can't find it.
	Gavin McInnis in his own words.
	I see it right here.
	How long ago?
	The 21st of.
	No, no, mine just says seven months ago.
	Eight months ago.
	Oh yeah, there it is.
	It's my first non-black and white video.
	Yeah.
	Alright, that's enough.
	We don't have to watch it.
	Okay.
	Let's take a call.
	Take a little call right home.
	We got Andrew on Halloween spooky.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hey, since it's the season of Halloween, I was wondering if you, Gavin, or Ryan, have any supernatural experiences, any kind of spooky stories like that.
	Thanks for the call, guys.
	I like it.
	Okay, thanks for your call, sir.
	Are we taking too many calls?
	I don't know.
	I mean, if we're answering questions like, ever see something spooky?
	No, I like that.
	You ever see, like, a ghost or something?
	Have you?
	First of all, I dread your answer because you're such a fucking weirdo Puerto Rican woman.
	Oh, I don't know.
	I don't know.
	You probably hung out with a million ghosts.
	No.
	I don't believe that.
	I think I have one story.
	My friend has a 100-year-old house in Canada, which is unimaginably old.
	It's like having, it's literally like having an 800-year-old house in Scandinavia.
	There's probably 10 of them.
	And there's some weird shit in the walls.
	Like there was a spiked dog collar with big long spikes coming out of it and a baby's shoe in the wall.
	Ew.
	I was cleaning off the paint once, and as I stripped something down, I saw a painting of a man holding a little girl's hand, and it was like old-timey 1800s shit.
	And they were walking in a field away.
	And I swear, as I was scraping it, probably in my head, but I thought I heard, leave now.
	You're kidding.
	No.
	I think I was just making it up in my head because I was freaked out.
	But I did some research, and Irish people, the settlers always put their baby shoe in their wall when they're building a house because it's good luck and it says the baby will always find the way back home.
	The same with the dog collar.
	You put your dog collar in the wall so the dog will always come home.
	Oh.
	And the reason it had spikes this long on it is because they were little Irish dogs.
	So they had to predators, so the bear would go to bite them and he'd get cut.
	Yeah, that makes sense.
	That's way less creepy than...
	I don't think I saw any ghosts or anything, but the old cabin that I used to, my workhouse that my ex-boss bought for us.
	So I realized that the wall had this like white little baby handprint.
	And then also in the corner is this blood splatter like it's but it was like a white, like a bleach in the corner.
	And then so if you put it together, it was like head shaped.
	And then maybe a baby after a suicide, because there's like blood splatter in the corner, baby touches the parent and then puts his little hand on the wall.
	Was anyone listening to that?
	Next caller.
	I'm the joker.
	Look at all these spooky things.
	I'm going to go on a spooky date with my wife.
	I'm going to get a babysitter and go to one of these haunted houses.
	If there's one thing upstate New York is good at, it's spooky houses.
	Hell yeah, brother.
	My wife always throws me into the monster.
	She always screams and just shows me into the chainsaw or whatever it is.
	She's very quick to sacrifice her loved one.
	Michael.
	What's up, guys?
	What's up, dude?
	Yeah, I can.
	You guys do sound like you're in another room.
	I can't hear you guys too well, but just a quick question.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Does Ryan sound like he's in another room, and so do I?
	Yeah, you sound a lot farther than Ryan does.
	Dude, am I not coming in through my mic?
	Yeah, no, you're coming in through this thing right here.
	Why?
	Because?
	You fucked up?
	No, you know how when we open up tabs, we have to restart the computer to get Skype to work sometimes?
	So wait, we've been doing this whole show and I've been on your shitty computer?
	No, no, this is just for the callers.
	Is that always the case?
	No.
	So what did you do wrong?
	Well, I could restart the whole computer and then we could do it again, but I just figured we're having substantial conversation.
	this is working here here let me try the black The whole Collins?
	Yeah.
	Why didn't you tell me?
	Because it's not...
	So I'm talking to a microphone that doesn't...
	No, it's recording.
	That's going to the record.
	into the live stream.
	So when people look at the show later, No, it's not fine.
	I don't like that the callers can't hear me.
	Just sounds like you're far away here.
	Look.
	This is so fucking annoying that we still don't have this down to an art form.
	Anyway, what's up, caller?
	Yeah, I'm from LA.
	Big fan.
	I used to watch with my wife daily, but I got tired of defending your honor, Gavin, so I just watch alone.
	But I just have a suggestion for free speech TV.
	I don't know how hard it would be to bring on Jesse Lee Peterson and Sean King.
	I think that'd be interesting.
	Oh, we tried Sean King.
	We tried Sean King, and he was furious that someone would even dare ask him.
	He was not happy.
	And then he started giving the people, I farmed that out to a different company who calls all them.
	And then he started giving that company shit because I think they're mostly black.
	He started giving that company shit for even working with me.
	So not only does he refuse, he's outraged that he refuses.
	And then he's outraged that that company even works with me.
	So no, that's not happening.
	Look, believe me, anyone you dreamed up, I've thought of.
	What are you doing?
	Get the next call.
	Stop dancing around the fucking internet.
	Gabriel.
	We've got four more minutes, boys.
	Frogbin.
	Can you hear me?
	Hey, Kevin, can you hear me?
	Yep.
	Hey, Kevin.
	So I sent you an email earlier about the death of cool.
	And when you talk about being a tree planter, you talk about Expert Night.
	I think that would be a great video series, don't you think, bud?
	Where you get some experts, maybe a mechanic or somebody who knows something about a fucking gun, and they can maybe show you something.
	Yeah, you have a trace of animosity in your voice that I'll try to ignore.
	But yeah, you're right.
	We should try to do that.
	Maybe, you know, our studio is too small.
	We might get a bigger studio if this first year goes well financially.
	But that wouldn't stop us from like grabbing cameras and just going to like the place where I get my motorcycle fixed and having him just do a basic explanation on how a motorcycle works.
	Like really, really basic for a 10-year-old.
	And some really easy, quick fixes if your bike dies on the road.
	Something like you put a paperclip in here and then you jimmy the fucking Higmonger.
	All right, next, talking about John.
	John Kids.
	No, dude, it's Tits Guy again from last week.
	I got to ask, what do you think causes the division between Tits Guy and As Guy?
	I've been thinking about this shit all week from last week's call.
	I started out as it's a nurture thing because I grew up in West Virginia.
	And I was like, all right, I'm a redneck kind of guy, like hanging out, drink beer with the boys.
	And then all of a sudden I was like, all the outliers seem to be like minorities.
	So I'm like, is it a nature thing?
	And then like, not to sound too al-righty, but because I'm not, but like, most of my ancestry is German or English, which is Germanic.
	And if you look at the Oktoberfest, you can't, the women in their traditional dresses are like all tits.
	You can see their boobs and everything, but you can't see the ass, where you look at like African culture.
	It's all about shaking the ass and whatnot.
	So I was wondering your perspective.
	And I was wondering if the Scots-Irish is more ass than tits.
	Maybe Scots-Irish have more testosterone than the English because the ones who didn't have testosterone died in all the battles of the 800 years.
	And blacks are rumored to have more testosterone than whites.
	So maybe it's a testosterone thing.
	The hornier you are, the more of a pig you are.
	And the more of a pig you are, the more you're into like some ass, some sweaty ass.
	But if you're just a normal amount of horny, you're like, those are some cute little boobsters.
	I wouldn't mind giving those a flick.
	Okay.
	Now we got Long Island smugglers.
	Wait, I just remembered something, Ryan.
	Sorry, caller.
	Sorry to interrupt you for a sec.
	I had a cop that wanted to talk about something, and I told him to call in and say that he's the cop, and we pushed him to the front of the line.
	All right.
	Did you see any cop calls?
	Let me see.
	Steve from Boston, I can't.
	How many are there?
	There's still a million calls to go through?
	There's about 10.
	Do any of them say cop on it?
	First name's question.
	No.
	I'm the cop.
	Well, I just gave it away, so people are going to start writing that.
	Okay, as long as you haven't skipped a cop, I understand if he's busy.
	First name on that?
	Because this is the worst.
	What it is, is if I could explain it to you and the folks, Stephen.
	Steve from Boston?
	Nope.
	Okay.
	No.
	So what it does is when you speak, it translates that.
	It transcribes it.
	I got you.
	Okay, let's get to the caller.
	What's up, caller?
	All right, unmuting the caller.
	Long Island.
	Hey, no, I was just wondering if, Kevin, you know anything about the band Smuttle's like a mid-90s hardcore band kind of into, but some of the songs are a little racy.
	Yeah, in fact, my girlfriend, Nancy Wong's, tits her in one of her videos, one of their videos.
	While we were dating, she became like a big sort of indie rock chick and started working with LCD Sound System.
	But back when we were first dating, she was in a Smut Peddler's video, the one with R.A. the Rugged Man.
	He used to be called Crustified Dibs, but he raped a mannequin on stage or something.
	So he changed his name and rebooted his career.
	So if you had a brain, you would be looking up Smut Peddler's R.A. the Rugged Man.
	You wouldn't be looking up Nancy Wong because, first of all, you're spelling it wrong.
	It's spelled Wang, W-H-A-N-G.
	But there's going to be 9 billion Nancy Wangs.
	Yeah, these are the smut.
	We did this video with them, I think.
	No, R.A. the Rugged Man did this by himself.
	We just covered it a lot in Vice.
	I remember smut peddlers.
	I got a dog-ban cool breaker.
	Dog beers are like in the flex.
	Dumbing them with human checkers.
	Oh, wait, not safe for work alert.
	Yeah, spoiler alert, lots of NSFW.
	Think about these dudes like Ari the Rugged Man.
	They're all ugly, and they're from Long Island and Brooklyn and stuff, and all the women around them were always amazing.
	People get mad at King of Queens, and they go, Why is a big fat pig with so many hot chicks?
	And we just go, You clearly haven't been to Brooklyn, South Brooklyn, all these Italian girls, like Kevin James with that girl in that video.
	I mean, in the show King of Queens, she's maybe we should stop watching that.
	That was full-blown.
	That's very NSFW.
	Sheesh.
	Yeah, I think he's rubbing her tits and she pukes on him in it or something.
	That wasn't her Virginia, was it?
	Yeah, that's her.
	There's my girlfriend.
	is a smoke show.
	He just got puked on.
	Ew!
	He puked on her.
	Those are the good old days.
	It's back when you could be racy and dangerous.
	Was that sexist, that video?
	Probably was.
	Devin, you won't line.
	Now blurred lines is a disgusting, horrible rape video.
	What a tangled web we weave.
	Devin arms, you want a line.
	Yeah, man.
	So very simple equation.
	If you want to lose weight, eat less calories than you burn.
	So if you want to put on muscle mass, what do you think the equation is?
	Don't put hot dogs in your butt to clean them off.
	Start eating the hot dogs, and you'll gain some muscle mass.
	Thank you, Caller.
	That's some good advice.
	I like when we're hoisted on our own retard.
	You don't eat, dude.
	You eat like shit.
	Me?
	Yes.
	What are you talking about?
	You eat like a little chicken bird.
	That doesn't mean I eat like shit.
	No, well, you eat good things, but rarely do you eat.
	You don't eat three meals a day.
	You eat one meal a day and then beer, beer, beer, beer, makers, makers, makers.
	No, no.
	We have lunch together every day.
	That's your only meal and then dinner.
	Well, one plus one is two.
	I don't know how much Terryology you've been researching But you also say When you don't work, I have the sneaking suspicion you eat once a day.
	If my wife isn't around, I might eat once a day.
	Exactly.
	But yeah, I have a small sandwich with tons of meat.
	We had the godfather today.
	That's endless meat.
	And then tonight, my wife will make a beautiful meal with like pork and all kinds of shit.
	Yeah, definitely.
	I eat very well.
	I don't eat a lot.
	Three times a day.
	It could be the beer.
	I don't eat three times a day.
	I think that's too much.
	But I think your body is holding on to whatever you eat because it's like, we don't know when the next meal is going to come.
	No, I think you're a pussy who always needs to eat.
	Every time you're hungry, you need a little snack.
	I eat.
	My stomach.
	That's why I got pipes.
	I'm so hungry.
	I got pipes because I eat yum, yum, yum in my tummy.
	Steve from Boston.
	That would have been a better call to end on, by the way.
	Yeah.
	Well, I don't see the cop coming in.
	Do you want to take one more call?
	Let's go.
	Oh, because we're running out of card space, if it matters.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	Okay, we'll do Steve.
	That's terrified me almost.
	Steve from Baston.
	What's good, Yakox?
	Gentlemen, how are you?
	I'll make it quick, Gavin.
	So I have this kind of non-original idea.
	However, I think it might work really well for your situation.
	I think we've been going at this all wrong with the whole hating of Antifa thing.
	I think that you need to rebrand and adopt Antifa gear, sell the stuff, and then actually send out real fighters of fascism called Antifa and go...
	What do you say?
	Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
	The problem is, though, with all those double flim flams, is you end up fucking over innocent people.
	Like, there's been talk of having fake Antifa meetings, or no, fake Proud Boy meetings, where you say, I'm going to be here, it's going to be big, which is kind of what they did in Portland.
	They said, we're having a huge rally.
	And then they just went to a bridge, put an American flag down on the ground, and then went home.
	And Antifa burned the downtown to the ground.
	So that worked.
	But I always worry about those things.
	Like, say you do that, and then all these guys who want to join Proud Boys or whatever show up going, yeah, wait, what's going on?
	Then I don't know.
	It's a big fucking hassle.
	But you're right.
	There are better ways to deal with it than constantly bitching about them.
	Dilute their brand.
	That's pretty cool.

▲