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Sept. 25, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:12:56
S02E64 - IMPEACH WHO?
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Time Text
Mel that must dial Surprise, surprise, so you're rubber live from New York.
Get off my lawn with Kevin McKinnon.
Ducks categorize us as our prize.
That's that was the Urban Dance Squad.
Big band in the 90s.
I kind of am going off the New Kingdom thing I did yesterday where I'm remembering early days in the 90s when I cared about new music.
They were from Utrecht, which is a great, it's one of my favorite cities in the world.
It's right next to Amsterdam, but it's got none of the Amsterdam tourism.
So there's no, it's not like a bunch of frat boys there getting wasted.
It's everything that's great about Amsterdam, but in a beautiful little quaint village.
You know, the bikes and the canal and all that awesome Dutch stuff.
These guys were huge.
They had five albums.
They're not Americans.
I don't know why...
He's Dutch.
Rude Boy Remington is the guy rapping.
And they did a lot of different types of music too.
They did metal, they did funk, they did everything.
When grunge got big in the mid to late 90s, or mid 90s, I guess, early 90s, they tried to go more grunge and it didn't work.
But they got some fast jams too.
Anyway, great band.
And I can play them on the show because I talk about them.
We've got a wonderful episode here for you.
We're going to talk about Trump.
I'm going to break down this whole thing about impeaching Trump.
And I'm going to include Obama spying on Trump because it might be a pube off topic, but it just shows that the whole allegation here is that Trump is not above the law.
Yet the DNC has been behaving like they are above the law for the past 10 years at least.
I'm also pushing Brooks brothers now.
I think I might be getting too old for Fred Perry.
I think a father of three should wear Brooks brothers.
So I bought about six of these.
And you know what's great about them is you can wash the shit out of them and dry them and they don't change.
Fred Perry's shrink.
That they do.
Maybe I should get rid of this stuff.
Because if I'm sitting here, it looks like I have a growth hanging out of my ear.
Some new revelations that have happened since we last spoke to you.
Nikki Glazer is X'd.
We are dumping Nikki.
She's no longer in the...
Do you want to just show your face for a second?
Sure.
We've been marketing.
So Ryan here was astute enough to notice that Trump was totally different in the 80s, totally different personality.
So we thought, let's use this to make commercials.
So we made a commercial for free for stone defensefund.com that will be airing for you today, so you can see.
It's a great fund.
Another change I want to do, besides Brooks Brothers, and I'm going to do a huge green screen on this bullshit.
I'm also going to start watching the final videos at the end of the show with the green screen so we can sort of point to stuff.
And then I'll come back here and say goodbye.
So yeah, I heard Nikki Glazer on Howard Stern and she said, they said, should Shane Gillis have been fired?
And she said, yes.
And I said, no, you're dumped.
We're done.
I don't love you anymore.
We need to start seeing other people.
What did she say about it specifically?
Did she say what she said?
She said, if I had said something like that, I'd expect to be fired.
Again, and this sort of goes back to the Trump thing.
No one ever knows the exact thing that happened.
So they'll go, oh, he was racist?
Okay.
Well, then he shouldn't have done that, and you can't be racist.
Well, no, he wasn't running a Klan rally.
He was joking about how Chinatowns are spontaneous, and they were making fun of people who see Chinatown appear, and he goes, yeah, they're like, these chinks just showed up.
So there's a great argument that he was lampooning racism.
I'm looking at an ex-girlfriend right now.
That's how I feel.
You ever see her feet?
No.
You'd be happy that she's your ex.
Why?
Are they famously gross?
Yep.
See, that's not too crazy, right?
That's fine.
They're just bunions.
Okay, what about those?
Whoa.
How does that do for you?
Whoa.
Those are her feet.
You need surgery.
A revolver.
Why wouldn't you get surgery?
Does she talk about it?
Do you get that from wearing high heels too much?
I don't know.
No, I don't think so.
Because why would the bone grow?
No, how often would you have to wear high heels?
I don't know.
It'd be years.
All right.
Well, then I'm glad we've broken up.
Yeah, she's dead.
By the way, this is how you break up with a chick.
You sit down and you go, I have a five-hour bummer sesh coming up.
And you say, this isn't working out.
Then she cries and you sit there and you hear her argument and you've always lied to me, blah, blah, blah.
And you just wait it out.
And this is what I tell guys who are going, I don't know how to do this, man.
And there's pussy moves you can do, like leave a message on her machine, which I did once and have regretted ever since, or ghosting her is another pussy move.
You just sit down and you go, I have one to five hours of shit I'm about to go through.
Saturday's gone.
But guys work in the sewers.
You know what a rat king is?
Yes.
It's when all their tails get intertwangled and they block the sewers.
So you have like a nest of dead rats that have tied.
I don't even know if it's true or if it's an urban myth.
I've never heard it was an urban myth, but.
Okay, but anyway, they have to go in there and pull out dead giant rats, probably get bitten, and they come home and they wash themselves off.
They wash the shit off their legs and they go home to their families.
So you can be uncomfortable for a few hours to dump a bitch who sucked her dick 10 million times.
Luckily, Nikki and I don't have to go through that because she didn't know we were dating.
Also in the news, since I last spoke to you, Also, from listening to Stern, I'm listening to Nick Cannon this morning and Robin says, Are you ever going to get married again?
By the way, you know what else I saw on that show?
What?
Heard on that show?
Nick Cannon quit AGT because they wouldn't let him wear a turban.
You know how he likes wearing turbans?
Yeah.
Is there anything more ridiculous than that?
Oh, you might have the clip.
It didn't occur to me that the clip would be online.
Yeah, turban.
What a weirdo.
What a weirdo.
Yeah, Howard Stern's got it right.
Oh, he's finally doing a bit?
Are you conspiring?
I'm sorry, there's something else going on here.
By the way, that turban look that he's got on, that is a woman's look.
Oh, that's a female turban?
Yeah, this is sort of like...
Remember that dude...
Yeah, Sway with MTV news.
Hey, Sway.
Yeah.
The thing you have on your head with your dreads up and a big thing.
What about it?
That's female.
That's what African and Caribbean women do.
Come on, bro.
You see this too with Krusty Punks?
They get this Maori tattoo that's like a chin thing.
Yeah, that's Maori women saying they're married.
You might as well have a red dot on your forehead.
Like, check in on the culture you're co-opting.
So I've noticed Sway hasn't done it in a while.
Maybe he heard me and realized that he's dressed in drag.
Now he wears one with a little.
He's in African drag.
I'm not talking about that.
It's when he has the big blanket, African blanket on his head.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, it looks like Nick Cannon is wearing a woman's turban.
Men don't wear it.
Like, Sikhs wear turbans, but they're bigger than that.
What's up?
You, yeah.
You had that shit on your head, though.
A turban?
Why are you calling it shit?
You're wearing it.
You don't take yours off.
Gary's got his on.
That's a bottle of water.
Oh, my.
That's a booing.
Very fucking funny.
I need you to feel it, though.
What's wrong with my turban, man?
Your turban is fucking amazing.
I think you're inspiring.
Your turban look like Nicki Minaj's ass.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Anyway, so Robin says to him, Robin, are you going to get married again?
He was married to Mariah Carey.
And he goes, nah, nah, nah.
He goes, that's not for me.
That's not for us.
He goes, that's a European construct that was done to help parcel different various pieces of land and show ownership on a person and their land.
And it's post-agriculture among the fertile crescent of Europe.
And it is a European construct that doesn't belong to me.
And when he said me, he meant Africans.
And then he goes, I'm tribal.
I'm a tribalist.
And I was listening to it going, yeah, whatever.
Like, Chinese people don't have marriage.
But I thought, can you fucking imagine if I said that?
If I got up on stage and said, the Negro can't handle marriage.
It's a European thing.
Black people are more tribalist, and they have trouble with the concept of marriage.
It has to do with agriculture and other things.
And it's not really designed for them.
It's designed for us Europeans.
I mean, there'd be riots in the streets.
It'd be a whole different story.
This is what I've noticed moving to America, is that blacks can say things that whites can't.
And I know that's a cliché, but when you come from another country like I do, like Britain and Canada, it's much more glaring.
Like I came from Quebec.
French people and English people were not friends.
And there was a lot of voluntary segregation there and fist fights in school.
But French people didn't have a different set of rules.
French people couldn't say certain things and they could say certain things.
And it didn't matter if you were French or English.
Both sides had things they couldn't say.
You couldn't say the N-word.
Negre, I believe, is the French version of that word.
But here in America, you go, oh, it's a totally different set of standards.
That's racist.
That's the bigotry of low expectations.
All right.
Also in the news, we forgot Greta Thunberg's spooky face she made when Trump walked by.
It's ancient news now.
It's at least three days old, but we would be remiss if we didn't at least include it.
For future generations, say someone discovers this show in a time capsule.
We have to make sure we've included everything relevant, right?
Like, say Trump gets shot on a Friday and we don't shoot till Monday.
We still have to mention it.
What's going on?
It won't play?
It's this player.
God, anything non-YouTube gives a really hard time in full screen.
Do Trump the entire episode.
Okay, I have no problem doing Trump.
Frankly, I could do young Trump or old Trump or whoever you'd like.
Don't go full screen then if it causes problems.
frankly.
In fact, I love I like when you show a bunch of crap like that.
People can go look it up on their own.
Dude, it's way easier.
That's what usually takes so long because I have to do this.
Yeah, I don't know.
But now it won't play?
And then when it's not zoomed out.
Yeah, but it's not playing anymore.
No, no, no.
Anyway, you can find that.
But the Greta Thunberg thing is fascinating because she's such an obvious trap.
And what she does, it's sort of like Pete Buttigag, right?
They sent him out there hoping we'd call him a fag.
And we didn't, which pissed them off.
And now what they do is they send out this little girl and they hope we go, what a stupid bitch.
And they go, that's a child, you pig.
And she is a stupid bitch.
Oh, who's here?
She looks like a fucking cartoon.
Yeah, she really does.
A garbage pail.
She's a brat.
She's a crying brat.
Yes, I'm insulting a child.
You're the ones who put her out there.
Who is that?
You know who else uses child, children in war?
Radical Islam.
I think it was Iran, maybe during the Iranian Revolution in 1979.
They'd put these plastic keys around children's necks and send them into battle.
And the keys get you into the gates of heaven after you get killed.
So it's good if you get killed.
Go out there, go out there.
And of course, the soldiers shooting them were dying of guilt because they couldn't handle it.
Oh, this looks fun.
This is when the next episode kicks in.
You know what's happening now?
We initially invited women into the foray and said, you're part of the group.
And we got Ankolter and Malkin and informed women.
Now it's just all kinds of bratty cunts.
So we're getting into mean girl high school stuff.
We are in the movie Mean Girls now, and we have bratty little bitches making cunty faces at the president because they're not happy.
Look up, see if you can find this picture.
It's Greta Thunberg's parents and her all wearing Antifa shirts.
It's like a converse logo, but it says antifasciste.
If you are putting your daughter into the fray like this and putting her up against the president of the United States, you're a shitty person.
And I'd go even farther and say, if you put your kid in the movies, then you're a shitty person.
There's his parents.
Her dad's a famous Swedish academic dick.
Her parents are rich.
Academic.
I know what you're saying.
What about Soph?
Aren't you exploiting her?
Soph is not being sent all over the world to represent the entire left.
She does videos for us that she was doing elsewhere.
She's self-aware, doesn't cut school.
She's self-aware, doesn't cut school.
She's not marching all over the world.
And she's not in this sort of public forum the way that this Greta Thunberg is.
When she complains about, I should be back home, it's like, well, the people that aren't climate change people aren't telling you to talk.
It's the climate change people that are telling you to talk.
And here's another kind of a doozy.
She's not mentally ill.
Greta Thunberg is mentally ill.
That's not an opinion.
That's not an insult.
It's a fact.
But our buddy Michael Knowles, who we should get on the show, let's get Michael Knowles on the show, if not today, tomorrow.
Okay.
Michael Knowles was on Fox News, and he dared to describe her as a mentally ill Swedish girl, which is a hate fact.
Hello?
Oh, is there supposed to be like, hate fact, fact, fact.
Okay.
Aren't you supposed to be Trump all day?
Yeah, there was a Echo Trump.
Okay, let's play it.
The hysteria movement is not about science.
If it were about science, it would be led by scientists rather than by politicians and a mentally ill Swedish child who is being exploited by her parents and by the international left.
So what you're hearing here is a political movement and a religious movement, and it's fulfilling.
I don't, that's Chris Hahn.
He's often on Tucker.
He's anyone's dog for a bone.
No one listens to his show.
And I don't think he knows that Greta Thunberg is genuinely mentally ill.
And I don't think he's ever heard of Michael Knowles.
This is not uncommon with the left.
They're very parochial, very insular.
Religious political goals of the left, but it isn't doing very much for science.
Chris, you had a visceral reaction to that.
Go ahead.
Yeah, I mean, you're a grown man and you're attacking a child.
Shame on you.
She's trying to attack the left for explaining the microphone.
Relax, skinny boy.
I got this.
Okay, you're attacking a child.
He can't see Michael's body.
So I think he's remarking on Michael's head.
He was skinny head.
Skinny head.
That reminds me of the book Gig, which I have here somewhere, where this bartender was talking about skinheads who invaded her bar on Avenue A. And she said, then they're coming in.
The skinny heads came in.
They're trashing my bar.
He's a skinny head.
Let's call him skinny head from now on.
Grown man, have some cup.
I'm not.
I'm attacking the learner.
Maybe on your podcast, you get away and say whatever you want because nobody's listening.
You're on national television.
Be a grown-up.
Just talking about children.
Harris Faulkner probably gets 500,000 viewers.
Daily Wire, I would say, gets the same.
So this guy, Chris Hah, doesn't realize that Michael Knowles has got a very popular show on Daily Wire.
And I looked up their Twitter because I had a feeling that Chris Hah doesn't have a life outside of Tucker and Fox News as the liberal punching bag.
I think Twitter followers are a relatively reasonable metric.
Even if Rush Limbaugh never tweeted ever, he'd probably have several hundred thousand just because of who he is.
Chris Hahn has 16,000 followers.
Got 18 now.
Oh, 18.
And Michael Knowles has about 200,000.
So Michael Knowles has approximately 10 times the Twitter followers that Chris Hahn has.
Forgive me if I don't assume that that means more people listen to Michael Knowles than Chris Hahn.
Anyway, play a little more of it.
She's trying to save the planet because your president doesn't believe in climate change and kids need to take to the streets to worry about their future.
You are despicable for talking about her like that and you should apologize on national television right now.
I think the international left and her parents who are exploiting a girl with many mental illnesses.
You called her mentally ill.
Take it back now.
She is taking it back now.
She is mentally ill.
She has picat disorder.
She has obsessive compulsive disorder.
She has selective mutism.
She had depression.
Her mother wrote it.
You see what's going on there, too?
As he hears Michael Knowles say autism, selective mutism, she was suicidal.
I believe she has Asperger's.
As Knowles was smart enough to already know all the diseases, you can see Chris Hahn go, uh, oh, she's literally mentally okay.
I thought you were more like when Gavin says that trans are just mentally okay.
You're sort of using it as a general blanket, but you mean literal diagnosed mental illnesses.
And the mom wrote about it.
When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere left to go.
And when they know you're winning, I have Asperger's, and that means I'm sometimes a bit different from the norm.
And given the right circumstances, being different is superpower.
Asper power.
Yeah, it is a superpower.
Like, say, when her mother dies, she'll probably empathize less and be less grief-stricken because she has more sociopathic tendencies.
Counting toothpicks.
Oh, my mother is no longer available because She has passed into another world.
I may join her as I have discussed suicide in the past.
Now, I thought this was an interesting article in Daily Mail where they go, I'm really worried about her.
The 16-year-old Swedish environmental activist went head-to-head with President Donald Trump, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then they have this world-renowned psychologist who says, I'm worried that we use a kid like this, who arguably should be getting better treatment because she said she's had anorexia, said she's got Asperger's, and said she battled depression.
This is a guy, by the way, who supports climate change and thinks that it's bad.
You know what?
Let's try getting rid of these.
This is a picture of my wife and I before we had kids in St. Martin.
We rented a boat that day and spent tons of money.
Makes me happy to see.
This is some kind of a raccoon skull, I think.
And this.
I think this is a coyote skull or maybe a fox skull.
Those are gone now, folks.
My head is now what goes in that hole.
Also in the news.
Oh, wait, wait.
Speaking of Mean Girls culture and how we're just dealing with a bunch of snarky bitches, check out Rashida Talib.
Now, I don't trust this vape shit going on.
This smells of corporate interference.
I'm suspicious of tobacco companies really pushing this jewel epidemic where everyone's dying of vaping.
I hate vaping.
I don't allow it in the studio.
It tastes like burnt raspberries.
But I like that people have the right to smoke, and I don't like the war on smokers.
So check out.
So that's sort of ancillary to what I'm talking about.
So check out Rashida Talib talking to this vape woman like a bitchy sorority sister.
Does it start at the beginning or time code?
No, I think I time coded it correctly.
Porter, I was breathing because I want to know more about you and your beliefs.
And I respect that.
We all have different beliefs.
But you call yourself a converted conservative and reformed Marxist.
Are you a conspiracy theorist?
I think my politics are entirely irrelevant to this hearing.
Oh, okay.
Why were you winking at one of my colleagues on the other side of the aisle?
You winked.
Because I know Glenn Grothman.
Oh, that's what.
So the winking, did he?
He introduced me.
He's a friend of mine.
Okay, I understand.
I didn't know what the winking was because I thought maybe there was something like a conspiracy thing going on there.
I didn't know.
Do you think there's a conspiracy in this hearing, ma'am?
No.
I actually think people are speaking truth here, and you can provide information.
May I address the truth?
No, no, no.
Well, the truth to you is very different for the majority of people in this room who do believe that children are being...
You're still smoking.
I'm not smoking.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And I'm not lying under oath.
Order, please.
Enough.
Does that sum it up or what?
I actually feel like I'm being too flattering when I say a high school cafeteria.
That's a junior high cafeteria.
Were you just winking at my boyfriend?
She's mental.
What the fuck was that?
I was winking because I know him.
We're friends.
Oh, you're friends, are you?
Max, are you friends with her?
Well, yeah.
My sister and her played softball.
Oh, you played softball, did you?
I know what you two are doing, you fucking bitch.
You bitch.
She's a loon, this Talib.
Tlaib.
We're going to start seeing Republicans getting their faces scratched.
Yeah, look at her.
This is a great picture.
She's a crazy.
Oh, my God.
This is what I used to say about the left.
Remember, I said they're maniacal or juvenile.
And then I said, you know what?
Let's stop calling it fake news.
Let's call it crazy ex-girlfriend news.
I prophesized this.
Oh, my God.
Look at her.
She is a crazy ex-girlfriend.
The sex wasn't even that great.
And you're just looking at her when she bangs on your front door, your building, and your doorman calls you going, what is going on, Mr. McInnes?
You go, just don't answer the door.
Mr. McInnes, people have to leave and come in out of the building.
She's been here all day.
Call the cops.
I don't know.
Is that her crying?
Sure is.
She's a crazy ex-girlfriend.
We should do a green screen video about this.
Yeah.
Way to go.
Way to go.
Way to not just allow women to get into the political field, but to force them into the political field, even when they didn't really feel like it.
All right.
Final story before we go to really break down this impeachment is actually no.
Let's have some fun.
Okay.
Let's show your commercial for Roger Stone.
All right.
And bump time.
We call it road rock, but it's a deeper shade of soul.
Deeper shade of soul.
Deeper shade of soul.
So when it comes to impressions, there's really two Trumps.
Is that correct?
Yeah, there's the 1980s Trump where he's just kind of...
Show is 80s Trump.
Oh, you want to see it?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, 80s Trump is like kind of a quieter type of guy, you know, frankly.
He talks about a lot of things.
You know, frankly, addressing Roger Stone, you know, he was a very brilliant strategist.
A lot of people aren't quite brilliant the way he is, but he got the job done.
He went in there.
He did a tremendous job for Reagan.
And frankly, I think he's going to do really good jobs for George W. Bush also.
Are you thinking of running for president, 80s Trump?
No, and Roger Stone has actually brought that to my attention.
He would be my running mate and help support my campaign.
And frankly, it's not something I'd really want to do right now.
There's a lot of people that could do the job, but I frankly don't think I would do the job.
There's a lot of people that could do it, but I just hope they'd do a good job.
Okay, so now let's go to 2019.
He's much more...
He's super bombastic and loud and very insulting.
He likes insulting people.
Can I just introduce hands?
How Asian is either of these guys?
Not Asian at all, basically.
Okay.
Just had to jump in there.
So why would that be?
Let's just curious.
Okay.
So let's hear 2019 Trump As opposed to the sort of quiet guy from the 80s.
Right.
Well, hands on the podium, first of all.
Very handsy.
Gonna want to squeeze the torso with the.
almost like a golf swing.
So that's the physical aspect.
But let me tell you about Roger Stone.
They've pilloried Roger Stone, vilified him, tried to destroy him.
They're doing their best to take him down.
And why?
Because an email, out of millions of emails, he might have said something to Julia Assange.
Julian Assange, great guy about that.
No, he said he didn't get an email from Julian Assange, but he did.
So he forgot about an email.
Forgot about one email.
Imagine all the emails out there.
He didn't do a Hillary where she deleted 30,000 of them.
We hate her, don't we?
She's really crooked, really gross.
He'll walk away from the podium.
She's really gross.
And everybody goes wild.
Point at people.
Didn't they send more people to Rogers House than Osama bin Laden, Donald?
It looked like a James Bond villain capture.
Really crazy stuff, folks.
Boats, helicopters, you name it.
The whole works.
Really crooked stuff.
Real creepy.
So why are the two Trumps so different, 80s and 2019?
Well, I think it's because 80s Trump was a businessman.
He was trying to sell real estate.
And nobody wants a madman going in there swinging and yelling tons of stuff at people because it's more of a boardroom type thing.
You're going to want to pitch buildings and know what you're talking about, about zoning and rights and all these things.
So much more soft-spoken, convincing tame.
And what about now?
Older Trump, he has to sell the idea of America.
Big, big country, most important country in the world.
Greatest country in the world.
So he's on a grand stage, the most powerful person, and he has to project to all these people, not just American people, all sorts of people, frankly.
A lot more people.
And he has to be that way, because nowadays you can get vilified for just being a patriot and liking America at all.
So he has to be very strong and bold against everybody in the media, everybody that hates him, Antifa.
Goes from the bottom to the top.
This is big, folks.
And what can we do if we want to defend these people that have been vilified in this era of anti-Americanism?
Where can we go to defend, say, Roger Stone?
Go to stonefensefund.com.
That's again, stone defensefund.com.
You know, it's a great fund, and there's a lot of people that are funding things, but frankly, I think this is one of the great things that you could fund.
What do you think of our new set?
Too many skulls?
Oh, I didn't even notice you did that.
Yeah, there are too many skulls.
A little cluttered.
Let's put these up.
Up on there.
and then we'll put this next to the trump yarmulkes That's kind of cool.
Yeah.
And now you get like unfettered gav, gav in a box.
It's like a dick in a box.
It's a dick in the box.
And the fish could go right behind your head eventually, maybe?
Yeah, eventually, maybe.
Because nobody will think that there's a fish tank growing out of your head.
That would be quite strange.
Frankly, if you do want to do that, I think that's something you could do.
It's not something I would want to do, but frankly.
Carson King is this kid who held up a sign at a sports game and it said, please donate money to my GoFundMe or whatever so I can buy beer.
I want to buy some Bush.
B-U-S-C-H, Amheiser-Busch.
He got way too much money, blew up, and he got hundreds of thousands of dollars.
And he went, oh shit, I don't want to die of alcohol poisoning.
So he donated it to a children's hospital.
Oh, cool.
The Des Moines Register was writing about the story, and they thought it would be prudent to go back almost 10 years through his Twitter to when he was 16, and they found some horrible, horrible hate, including Krazens are gay as hell.
And now that gay marriage is legal, I'm totally going to marry a horse.
I don't know what Tariq Nasheed is talking about.
I guess there was some racist jokes in there.
I know I saw him say N-word please at one point.
Here's, and everyone's talking about, dude, he was 16, and why did you drudge all that up?
Here's another thing that no one's talking about.
Eight years ago, Twitter was very different.
And a lot of these comedians getting in trouble for the shit they said eight years ago on Twitter, it was kind of 4chan.
It was kind of like raunchiest, most disgusting jokes you could come up with.
There wasn't a lot of chicks on it.
It wasn't used by a lot of politicians.
It was more just like fart jokes.
And here's a picture of a tranny's dick.
There wasn't that much, you know, philosophical.
Again, Broads got involved and it became all about love and sharing and Greta Thunberg.
So he said, look, I'm very sorry about these tweets.
Show more of the hashtag StanWithCarson.
This is in Ohio, the Midwest.
And this is a great story.
It's a very inspiring story because the Midwest said, yeah, you know what?
Fuck this.
We're done with cancel culture.
He apologized and he kept his fund going.
And he said, I'm going to keep doing this until we get more money and I'm going to donate it all to the children's hospital.
So Bush said, fuck you.
This guy's crazy.
We hate him.
Crazins aren't gay.
And Coors Light picked him up.
Now that's relevant because Joseph Coors, the guy who started Coors Light, once said that blacks aren't smart enough to work at his factory.
This is like a million years ago.
And that's why he doesn't hire blacks.
His sons took it over and said, our dad said stupid, racist shit and had crazy beliefs.
We're not doing that anymore.
And we're a new company and we're not racist and we're sorry.
And so Coors Light, I can't help but think that it's linked to that.
They picked up on this Carson King.
And they put him on one of their beer cans.
And he's kept going with the money.
I think it's up to about $1.2 million donated to the Children's Hospital.
Wow.
Now, fuck the kids.
No, thanks.
Not literally.
This isn't about that.
What's amazing here is that they know this person isn't a bona fide racist.
He's not a bona fide bigot.
He apologizes for his unfortunate use of the words when he was fucking 16 in a different Twitter, which no one's mentioned.
Let it go.
Enough with the permanent persecution of people for the sins of the past.
You know, a great example of this is that NASCAR guy who lost his funding because his dad used the N-word in the 80s.
God, if I was punished for everything my dad did, we would be in trouble.
All right.
So let's really break down this impeaching scandal and how totally and utterly nothing burger it is.
Thank you.
Thank you.
you Thank you.
This is it, folks.
Trump is going to be impeached.
New York Post today, impeaching to the choir.
Pelosi announces inquiry.
And then the post adds, but isn't that what they've already been doing?
I don't get this scoop.
You've been trying to impeach him since the day he was elected.
The fact that Nancy Pelosi is launching an inquiry seems to be the final nail in the coffin as far as the left is concerned.
And if you want to know how the left feel, check in with late night talk show hosts.
They are sort of the evangelical preachers of the leftist movement.
And they're thrilled.
Let's start with Stephen Colbert.
What does it say at the top there?
Late night host, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, mock Donald Trump's impeachment troubles.
Just to be clear here, you know what the impeachment troubles are?
That he was caught on the phone saying to someone in Ukraine, I think you should investigate Joe Biden's son.
Something fishy went on there.
That's it.
Now, the angle they're using for impeachment is he said, investigate Joe Biden's son or else we're not doing business with you and we're going to punish you monetarily with tariffs, who knows what.
But it was basically blackmailing Ukraine into investigating a crime.
What's the matter with pushing someone to investigate a crime?
Anyway, he's since released the transcripts and we can see that he never guaranteed anything.
He just said, I'd like you to look into that.
Pretty boring, right?
Nope.
This is it.
Let's see Stephen Colbert first.
Buckle up, America.
Oh, good.
This is eerie.
Lordy, what a day.
You really feel the ground shifting under your feet.
Note how smug they are already.
Just pause.
I've noticed, by the way, with the left, that they go so far ahead.
Like, remember when you were 18 and you get a new job and then you sort of buy a jet ski?
Like, you already talked to the people at the jet ski place before you get your first check.
And then you get your first check and you go, they took out $300?
I can't afford a jet ski.
The left is constantly buying jet skis.
Like, this is it.
They're done.
This is awesome.
We nailed them.
Meanwhile, Joe Biden's son is guilty.
Hunter Biden was getting kickbacks to the tune of 50 grand a month.
Yeah, you should investigate that.
Joe Biden should not be president.
He is corrupt.
But anyway, just for asking questions about Joe Biden's son makes people cheer like this.
They're not political.
They're not informed.
Why are they getting involved?
You got a seatbelt on your couch?
Number one, why?
You know what Colbert was funny?
Buckle up.
Because for two and a half years, Donald Trump has had scandal after scandal.
Russian collusion.
Obstruction of justice.
Russian collusion, that was disproved?
Okay, you got nothing on Russian collusion.
Obstruction of justice.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Keep going.
Saying Nazis are fine people.
He never said Nazis are fine.
Will you stop zooming in and out like a lunatic?
He never said Nazis are fine people.
He said there was fine people on both sides.
And he wasn't talking about the Charlottesville lunatics that you saw with the Tiki torches.
He was talking about the other people who were at that rally for statues.
Of course, he didn't mean there's fine people on both sides with Nazis and Antifa.
And the proof of that is he clearly doesn't think there's fine Antifa.
He was talking about a precursor to that same day's events, which was a protest about statues, which, by the way, is how the organizers tried to frame the whole thing in order to get their numbers up.
They didn't tell anyone it was a Nazi rally.
Unnamed co-conspirator to campaign finance violations, lying about the Moscow Trump Tower, speaking money to pay.
A real estate mogul was involved in a building in Moscow, as well as cities all over the world.
That's why he's president in order to help build a building in Moscow.
Like these accusations are so flimsy.
And I'm about to get to the left's actual crimes are exactly what he's talking about here.
But the difference is the left did them.
Trump didn't.
Pay for the border wall.
Faking the weather with a Sharpie.
Every time.
Faking the weather with a Sharpie.
Doesn't that sound dangerous?
Hey, no.
Every time people have asked, is this the thing?
Surely this must be the thing.
And every time, it wasn't the thing.
No, and it's not the thing either.
But here's the thing.
This time.
There's a new thing.
And it might be the thing.
Okay, this is spooky.
Look at this.
I wish the thing wouldn't show up when you pause.
Because this afternoon, Nancy Pelosi did this thing.
Today, I'm announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.
Well, he's thrilled.
Why are all talk show hosts on the same page?
Look, women...
These are my enemies.
Men, angry, women liberties.
And the smelling beta pipes and gay friends that take them to these late night shows.
Is it because women have extra time to watch these late night shows?
It's an army of broads.
Anyway, so that's one.
Keep going.
Trevor Noah, of course, the smuggest African immigrant in the history of African immigrants.
Dude, you should be happy you're out of South Africa.
It's in a civil war right now.
You're in hell.
I mean, sorry, you escaped hell and you're here now.
How about relentless patriotism?
And maybe take in a couple white farmers while you're at it.
J. Trump.
Once again, the president of the United States is in big trouble.
Once again, news special report.
Good afternoon, everyone.
We're coming on the air in this busy news day with breaking.
Can you just pause here?
The right and the left is convinced that he's evil and he's always screwed.
And I'll never forget Greg Guttfeld when I was doing Red Eye a lot.
I would say during 2016, once every week and a half, he would email me and go, your boy just blew it.
Your boy's toast.
And I'd go, no, he's not toast and he's going to win.
My boy is not in trouble.
Why don't you guys just accept that he's winning in 2020 and it's four more years and get on with your lives?
Announcement from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of a formal impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.
Today, I'm announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.
Just push action.
Do you know why this is going on, by the way?
The moderate left, the moderate DNC, the Bidens and the Pelosis, have been told that the goon squad with Rashid Talib and AOC and the other two are the future of the DNC.
So get on board or you're done.
And Biden was reluctant.
And he said, no, like you're too radical.
The end of fossil fuels, abortion a day after the baby's born.
We're not going to get voted in.
And then he found out Trump was looking into his crimes, which he did.
And he went, all right, fuck it.
We're in.
And they said, all right, we're going full radical.
The DNC is now the ANTIFA.
And to date by the president, have seriously violated the Constitution.
The president must be held accountable.
No one is above the law.
Holy crap.
We'll see.
The DNC is clearly above the law.
The Clintons were clearly above the law.
Really?
He's really winning.
After two years of avoiding it, Trump may finally face articles of impeachment, which believe me, he is not happy about.
It's impeachment, which Trump hates, plus articles, which he hates even more.
Yeah.
If his mom ever caught him with a Playboy magazine, he'd be like, I swear I'm not reading the articles, just looking at the boobs.
Man, he's not crazy.
And if you thought Trump was unhinged before, I can't even imagine what he's going to be like now.
Like, he's been crazy.
Can you imagine what he's going to be like now?
You better keep your kids away from Twitter people because this thing is going to be a category five tweet storm.
And this one will hit Alabama.
Can you give a senior's, a woman, an old lady, kind of a level of humor, doesn't he?
Like he's at an hospice or something?
But how did we get here?
And what does it all mean?
Well, let's find out in our brand new segment, the full story.
Look how wrinkly my neck is.
I'm becoming an old person.
Look at that.
So, how did the Nancy Pelosi neck on the road to impeachment?
Well, it all started last week with a mysterious report from a whistleblower.
This is CNN breaking news.
And we do begin with that breaking news.
CNN has learned that President Trump had a communication with a foreign leader that was so troubling to one U.S. intelligence official that they filed a whistleblower complaint.
The Washington Post reports this involved a promise.
Jeff Bezos reports who the whistleblower is or who the foreign leader is.
Keep going.
Let's see the next one.
God, they're losers.
They're literally losers.
Look at that.
Go back, go back, go back.
Look at that audience.
Isn't that disturbing?
Middle class white female.
Same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same.
There's a dude.
No people of color, by the way.
Have you noticed that?
I think there's a dude.
It's just these uninformed broads that don't like Trump because he represents the guys that wouldn't fuck them in high school or college, for that matter.
And the pussy quote really pissed them off because they're not familiar with a world where hot chicks want to fuck famous guys.
They are familiar with a world where fat, ugly chicks wanted to fuck famous guys.
I don't know who that is.
Who's this?
Pelosi?
We just saw that one.
There's a Jimmy Fallon.
Yeah, there's, let's see Jimmy Fallon doing his Trump, which isn't his, who's he doing Daryl Hammond's Trump, right?
It's weird when you see impressionists rip off other guys' impressions.
Like Mike Myers ripped off, what's his name's Lauren Michaels?
Yeah, Dr. Evil is just Dana Carvey's Lauren Michaels.
Thank me.
Thank me very much.
You're all very happy that I'm here at the United Nations.
I mean, wow, just look at all the room full of diverse cultures and ethnicities.
Seriously, it's like the scariest college brochure I've ever seen.
But I know what you're all thinking.
It's so great to be here with me for the last four to six hours of my presidency.
Just pause.
You know, I've seen them, and this is way back in 2016, they're so confident that he's going to jail that they would start openly discussing Pence, President Pence, and how we're in big trouble with President Pence.
I even saw Milo joking yesterday saying, I'm actually looking forward to President Pence.
We're more likely to get a war.
You make one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader, and everyone acts like you made one phone call blackmailing a foreign later.
I guess it's like the older one.
I think we get it, right?
So that's, oh, wait, no, there's James Corden, too.
I mean, I haven't seen James Corden's, but you can predict it, right?
New information has come to light regarding President Trump and his troubling phone call with the Ukrainian president, and it led to a major announcement this afternoon.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi came out of an emergency closed-door session with congressional Democrats, and she had this to say.
Today, I'm announcing the House of Representatives moving forward with an official impeachment inquiry.
Just you heard.
Just pause.
Look into Nancy Pelosi's eyes.
You were looking into the eyes of a dead goat.
Stop imbuing all of this authority and wisdom and efficiency on the government.
The White House, this includes Trump, politics is Hollywood for ugly people.
They're all clowns.
And justice does not happen.
Justice doesn't happen on a local level.
We got our boys looking at nine years for fighting back after an ambush.
So you should all know that that injustice you see on a local level goes all the way to the top.
It's all a fucking shit show.
And it seems like the only innocent person in all of this is President Trump.
He seems to be the only honest one in this mess, and you just keep chasing him.
In fact, I would argue that the proof that Trump is an innocent person is the incredible rage that surrounds him when he walks into this swamp and tries to push the drain button.
You heard Pelosi.
Pelosi.
Finally, the time for talking about impeachment is over.
It's time to inquire about impeachment.
This is it, guys.
Let the talking stop and the inquiring begin.
He's on our side, in a sense.
It's really gaining steam now.
It is.
At this rate, Democrats should have Trump impeached by the last six months of his second term.
Yeah, that's right.
More than 180 House Democrats are now in favor of impeaching President Trump.
It's like the old saying goes, work with a foreign government to undermine a democratic election once, shame on you.
Do it twice.
We are going to inquire about the possibility of doing something this time.
Maybe.
We'll see.
So poor Giuliani is in the midst of all this, and he's the one that was really pushing for this.
He saw Joe Biden, sorry, Hunter Biden, get something like $3 million.
And as I say, $50,000 a month from this company is like doing consulting or something for Ukraine.
And he got the job.
I fucking hate this guy, by the way, Andrew McCarthy.
This is the guy who wrote the book Free Speech and Islam, little chap book for, I think, Encounter books.
He's also the guy that got John Derbyshire fired from National Review, even though John Derbyshire wrote an article that offended him that was on TackyMag, my old site.
John Derbyshire is a friend of mine.
This guy is a cuck.
He's a neocon.
He's a never-Trumper.
He's a rhino, Republican in name only.
I do not trust this guy as far as I can throw him, and I can throw him pretty far.
Wait, that doesn't make any sense.
All right, let's check Juliani on telling some liberal to shut up.
It's the guy who's always on top.
I'm going to make it available, and we'll see.
Okay, I'm going to bring Rudy back in.
Rudy, you've been listening to this conversation.
I sure have, and I'd like to say to Mr. Hahn, I should sue you for libel, because he irresponsibly You're a public figure.
Yeah, and by the way, do you have any idea that the State Department?
Shut up, Ruth, Chris.
Shut up.
Shut up.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You don't know what you're talking about, idiot.
I do.
You just lied.
I wish you would stop.
You lied.
I wish you would stop, Mr. Christmas.
Why don't you tell him to keep his mouth shut so we can tell the truth?
Yeah, Chris, just let Ruth.
Just keep your mouth shut.
Keep it on fact.
He said about me that I was asked by the State Department to go dig up political dirt on Trump's opponent.
Totally false.
The State Department asked me.
Just said it.
No, I didn't.
You did, you liar.
You did.
Just let him go.
Tell him and you can respond.
Turn him off so I can speak.
I do not want to be interrupted.
Okay, let's let Rudy speak and from that serial liar.
So here's why I was asked by the State Department.
It's all documented.
They called me to facilitate a meeting between the president and Mr. Zelensky.
All right, we got it.
So Giuliani was asked to look into this.
Crime.
And the DNC's attitude here, I actually think it's a good political strategy in this era of laziness.
You saw those dumb bitches standing up and clapping on Colbert.
So having an idiotic philosophy like this is effective.
We're living in an era where Sean King steals money from black people pretending to be a black man, and he's a hero.
The methodology here is that Joe Biden knows that he was corrupt and he did something wrong with Hunter, his son.
And the attitude is scorched earth, intense offense.
Anytime someone tries to investigate me, I'm going to come at them like a complete lunatic, talk about impeachment for the sin of even questioning my business practices.
And I think it's pretty good.
I think it's a smart thing to do.
Now, just to discuss what's really going on here, this is what Trump wanted investigated.
This is on the New York Post.
President Trump's personal attorney, Giuliani, early Monday, accused Ukraine of laundering $3 million to Joe Biden's son Hunter and questioned how former President Barack Obama could have allowed it to happen.
When prosecutor asked Cyprus for amount going to Sun, he was told U.S. Embassy, Obama's, instructed them not to provide the amount.
Prosecutor getting too close to Sun and Biden had him fired.
So someone investigating this corruption has already lost their job.
And this is all on Obama's clock.
And it's something that Joe Biden should have to answer for if he's running for president.
Clearly.
I said, you're not getting the billion.
I'm going to be leaving here.
I think it was, what, six hours?
I looked.
I said, I'm leaving in six hours.
If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money.
Well, son of a bitch.
Got fired.
And they put in place someone who was solid.
So they talk about blackmailing a foreign country.
That's exactly what Joe Biden did to the tune of $1 billion in loan guarantees.
Let me just repeat that.
He told Ukraine in 2016 that the U.S. was considering canceling $1 billion in loan guarantees unless it got rid of the top prosecutor, Viktor Chokhin, who was investigating his son.
But Chokin, who was voted out of office by Ukraine, but Shokin, who was voted out of office by Ukraine's parliament, was looking into Burisma holding an energy company that gave Hunter Biden a seat on its board.
Burisma paid Hunter as much as $50,000 a month.
There's your smoking gun, dummies.
Your smoking gun is Joe Biden threatening $1 billion in losses unless you ignore my son's $50,000 a month.
Now, let's just, on the subject of spying and corruption and ne'er-do-wells, let's not forget that Obama, Barack Obama, was spying on Trump.
There is your crime.
There is your impeachment.
When is this from, this article?
It's pretty old, right?
Is that 08?
No.
What's the date on that?
2017.
1920.
Yeah, 2017.
Of course it was 2017.
It was post-election.
According to the media reports this week, the FBI did indeed wiretap the former head of Trump's campaign, Paul Manafort, both before and after Trump was elected.
If Trump officials or Trump himself communicated with Manafort during the wiretaps, they would have been recording too.
And then this woman goes on to say, if these reports are accurate, it means U.S. intelligence agencies secretly surveilled at least a half dozen Trump associates, and those are just the ones we know about.
Besides Manafort, the officials include former Trump advisors Carter Page, Michael Flynn, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaking of Obama's corruption, he also got away with this.
Remember Pelosi said no president is above the law?
Remember when Obama leaned over and on a hot mic?
And I'm not just talking about a sexy guy named Mike.
I mean a microphone that's picking stuff up.
Obama, during talks and soul, urged Moscow to give him quote-unquote space until after the November ballot.
And Meldrev said he would relay the message to incoming Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Do you remember that?
He said he'll have more flexibility after the election.
He mumbled it to him, but we picked it up on his mic.
We picked it up on his mic.
The unusually frank exchange came as Obama and Medvedev, God I hate Russian names, huddled together on the eve of a global security summit in the South Korean capital, unaware their words were being picked up by microphones as reporters were led into the room.
So so far we have Joe Biden threatening a billion-dollar loss to Ukraine unless they ignore his son's corruption.
And we have Obama colluding with Russia and saying, let's let this election die down and then we can get back up to our dirty business.
And we also have Obama going above the law and spying on Trump and his officials.
And while we're on the subject, I'm reminded of Bill Clinton.
This was a while ago.
You know, though, the Uranium 1 story with Hillary Clinton?
So Bill Clinton wanted to open up Kazakhstan and help this donor to the Clinton Foundation, the Canadian guy, mine uranium, I believe it was, in Kazakhstan.
He wanted to mine in Kazakhstan.
Kazakhstan is a totally corrupt, shithole country dictatorship where people have no rights.
It looks beautiful, but if you drive around there, you'll never see a person because they all live in flea-bitten shacks while you see nothing but white marble.
He's a dictator.
He changed all the names of the month to variations on his name, I believe.
And so Bill Clinton went there for $500,000.
He did a speech and he awarded this despot a human rights award.
Similarly, Hillary Clinton, which is this one now?
It's funny too, because when you look this up on Google, you see nothing but Vox and CNN and Washington Post and all these corrupt left-wing mainstream media sources talking about the impeachment.
And you have to go all the way to the American Thinker to find true stories about Hillary selling most of the world's uranium to Russia in exchange for donations to the Clinton Foundation.
The pay-to-play scandals that you may have forgotten about because they're rarely reported.
The New York Times reported this week on the unseemly transfer of cash from parties interested in major uranium deals to the Clintons.
The Canadian company selling uranium-1 had global consequences.
It would put one-fifth of all uranium production capacity in the United States under Russian control.
That sounds safe, right?
Don't you need uranium for nuclear weapons?
But Hillary doesn't care about America's safety.
She doesn't care about anything but money and power.
And Trump cares about justice.
He wants the DNC to be ridiculed.
He wants them to be exposed.
He wants them to get caught for their crimes.
And their crimes, as you can see, go on and on and on.
Obama's crimes, Bill Clinton's crimes, Hillary Clinton's crimes, Joe Biden's crimes, and Hunter Biden's crimes.
But in this corrupt culture where fat ladies who go see Colbert run popular opinion, simply asking a crime to be investigated is a crime.
All of the sudden, we're in like twin.
Ducks stare at us as soon as we begin.
When I fade the frame of four things...
I'm regretting this now.
It feels a little empty.
Hmm.
I could make it all white stuff, which it was.
I like that stuff before.
That was kind of cool stuff.
It was like anatomical stuff.
It kind of balanced out all the action figures.
And the picture is very light.
Alright, that's the beauty of this.
Well, we learned.
Yeah, yeah.
You live and you learn.
You live.
You learn.
You live, You learn.
Frankly, there's a lot of things that you could have done differently, but I think the things that you did do are quite things that you should be proud of.
And it's a great job.
You have a great job.
And you did a great job, frankly.
Okay.
So that took a big bite out of the show, but it was important to get across that as KRS1 of Boogie Down Productions once said, the ones screaming Keep It Real the Loudest are the ones the most full of shit.
We're running out of time, and I want to show you some fun videos at the end, but let's squeeze in a letter for the mailbag.
Okay, we can totally do that.
Now, this is going to be a great intro.
I'm just setting it up real quick.
We have an intro for this, right?
Should just be a button, dude.
And don't show the player.
No, frankly, I would never do that.
I think showing the player.
You never do that.
Don't do that, my friend.
I've done it plenty of times without the player.
I'd say 98% of the time you've seen it.
Okay, the strongest 2% you've ever seen.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Dear Gavin and Ryan, your five levels of Antifa segment, GO ML Live number 13, was great, but I think you omitted one key level.
Perhaps level 1.5 should be the high priests or professors slash academic think tankers.
True, they don't wear black, but without their simplistic theories, it's hard to imagine level 4s emerging organically, even if they are their kids.
Level 5s are also recruited by level 3s and 4s, educated in universities.
And level 2s can't get into law school without first passing through these undergraduate gatekeepers.
Consider the many creepy chanting videos you've played on the show, and recall that you can often see these high priests leading their students like cult leaders.
Their bizarre theoretical frameworks also make it possible for level one financiers to channel funds to left-wing activists, who in a non-clown world would presumably be their enemies.
You notice how I'm reading, Ryan?
In a colorful way that's conversational and doesn't sound like I'm just trying to plow through it?
You noted that the level twos would still be able to organize Antifa without level one support, but how would they do this if Antifa ideas weren't passed on to naive students?
What the hell was that?
Oh, it's a dog.
Dogs.
Somebody brought it up.
Dogs aren't allowed in this building.
Well, they're support dogs.
A lot of dogs can be.
You can have a support guest.
It doesn't sound like a support dog to me.
Sounds like a maniacal Chihuahua.
Well, maybe they need the support of sound.
By the way, Maniacal Chihuahua will be playing at Mercury Lounge on Thursday with Urban Dance Squad.
Maybe these high priests should be grouped into level two with them.
Still, I think they deserve a mention as most people have never heard of the radical Antifa ideology until they enter university.
Please keep up the good work.
Best wishes, Andy, in California.
That's a great point, Andy.
The problem is you get into sort of the diaspora of Antifa.
For example, the rich housewives in my neighborhood who were happy to pick up the cause after Antifa decided I was evil.
And, you know, they post, Antifa posted my school, my kids' school.
Antifa put a giant banner over the highway exit that goes to my community that called me a Nazi and was there for about a week and a half because the state troopers couldn't get their shit together.
I didn't even know about it.
But then the housewives go, yes, thanks, radical alt-left.
We'll take it from here and terrorize his children and ruin their social lives and vandalize his car and leave him notes in his front door and blah, blah, blah.
And yell at him and yell at his house and stuff like that.
Live stream him at CVS.
So they're part of it too.
What I was trying to do with that five levels of Antifa was talk specifically about the mob that was at my talk or the mob that was at my NYU talk and pepper sprayed me and who's all there.
Who can you grab?
Now, the Proud Boys fight on October 12th, the money for the signs came from the top, right?
The guys who paid for it, number one.
Two, the lesbian lawyers, I saw them handing out the signs to the various people they had hired.
Three, I saw the shot collars also there that night.
So of the five levels, the only ones who weren't literally there was the number one guy who wrote the check.
I saw the shot collar.
We showed pictures of him from that same night.
And then four, we had the academic kids who vandalized the venue.
And then five, we did have some loser stragglers who were there just because they felt beholden to their cult leaders.
So the five levels I talked about were people that if you reach down, just like when biologists will reach into a pond and pull up a bunch of scum and then show you the different eggs and insects that are just in that one scoop, I was showing you the five levels of the scoop.
Now, as far as the DNC, Bill de Blasio, Cuomo, the Attorney General, the teachers, you're very right.
The teachers are the ones who started this mess that told them about Antifa and glorified them.
In fact, we had a professor who was fired recently for admitting he's literally in Antifa.
He doesn't just support them.
He's a member.
But you got to draw the line somewhere.
And it's just amazing that it's just amazing that we have alt-right Nazis with tiki torches who say Jews will not replace us.
And we instantly condemn them, push them away, and say, these guys have nothing to do with us.
They're fucking freaks.
Fuck them.
And it's only a tiny sliver of the left.
I mean, the right.
When you go to the left, it's a rather large swath, and there's a very gray area from the alt-left to the center where you have AOC and you have supporting them.
And you have, what's his name?
The black dude holding the Antifa handbook.
Keith Ellison.
Keith Ellison holding the Antifa handbook.
You're a loser.
So they have their own Tiki Torch guys, but they love them.
And Tim Kaine's son is a member of Antifa, and he says, we have to fight on the streets.
We had Maxine Waters the other day saying, I'm going to take out Trump.
She said she was going to take me out.
Where to the ball game?
Now, Charles Johnson was kicked off Twitter for saying, let's take out D-Roy Mackisson.
D-Ray.
And he's not the president, is he?
All right, it's all too heady and serious.
Let's get up, go over to the green screen studio and look at some funny videos to keep things light and fun.
We're living in a culture where call the police is everyone's go-to instant thing.
I saw a video the other day where some guy was smoking, and this guy didn't want him smoking outside his store, so he blasted him with fire extinguisher powder, and the guy just goes, call the police.
And he goes, good, call the police.
You keep hearing that again and again.
Call the police.
Get a manager.
Get security.
Just handle your business.
And when I was a kid, you'd have a fight.
It would be preordained.
It would be like 3.30 at the abandoned baseball diamond near the school.
You'd be pooping your pants all day.
You would do it.
You'd get the fight over with.
No authorities involved.
No teachers, no parents.
And six times out of 10, which can be reduced to three times out of five, you'd become best pals with the guy.
So it was very refreshing.
I sort of gave away the ending to see this fight.
I like that you took your shirt off so no one can grab you.
But check out this little round.
Boom.
Oh, I think he got his head on the way down.
Just pause.
You may have to go back to that.
I've noticed watching 8 Million Fights that the old pick you up and slam you down thing seems to do better than fists.
It seems to be more effective than punching someone in the head.
Getting a good punch to the head that knocks them out is incredibly rare.
I've never done it in my life.
I've been knocked out a few times, though.
Look at that.
Whammo.
He's a little guy.
Also, ducking is a very...
Gets right down.
And then he whams him.
I think he snaps his head on the way.
That could have broken his neck, actually.
Maybe that's a little rough.
This is in Jersey City, right?
Or New Jersey Transit, somewhere in Hoboken, maybe.
So he's ready to rock.
And the guy's like, no, I'm done.
I'm fucked up.
I don't want to fight anymore.
You almost broke my neck.
You're a really good fighter.
We're done.
You're done?
You apologize?
Yeah.
Well, then we're good.
Right on, bro.
And he goes, yeah, you fucked me up really bad.
And my nose is bleeding.
Your nose is bleeding?
Hold on.
I was buying my wife something for anniversary.
Here's a tissue.
There you go.
Paper towel.
Oh, wait.
I'm just checking the schedule.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks for the paper towel.
Yeah, we're good.
They're bros.
That's the America I grew up with.
Now, the America we have now is a little reckless.
And I think the fact that we don't handle our business and we call the cops all the time means that we don't understand ramifications.
And we do incredibly stupid shit like smoke the hottest pepper in the world.
Oi Ve.
You know what this is turning into?
This is that Rick Dickulous, whatever that show is called.
Ridiculousness, yo.
Remember he had a black friend that he bought?
That big, huge dude?
Yeah, I forgot his name.
And it was like me and my big black friend.
And then the black friend stopped getting paid.
And he's like, I'm not your friend anymore.
And he's like, okay, fine.
I don't have a black friend.
Now, what's amazing about this is when you eat a hot pepper, it goes down your throat into your stomach.
You can get to that with water and milk.
When you inhale a hot pepper, it's in your lungs.
You can't get in there.
I've ever been scared to do something on YouTube.
What are you doing, dude?
What is that?
A Pendleton?
Is that an exercise bike?
A machine?
It's a phone holder.
Oh, I see.
Going out with a bang this year.
I told you guys.
Retirement's a bitch.
Retirement's a bitch.
When did you retire at?
35?
What is he?
40?
Is that a cop?
Do more.
Do more.
Look at his terror face.
Do more.
There you go.
Now you're good.
Now it's deep in there.
That was smart.
Now, you see, the problem with water is it goes down your throat through your esophagus to your stomach.
That's not getting to the lungs.
I bet no caveman has ever even done this.
He might be the first person to have ever done this in the history of the earth.
I'm serious.
That particular pepper?
It's still going to hurt, dude.
Now he's like, I can't believe how much it hurts.
What was I doing?
Strong men create good times.
Good times create weak men.
Weak men inhale hot peppers, trying to give themselves some sort of life experience.
Meanwhile, it looks like he was face fucked by LeBron James.
Is that the whole thing?
Yeah.
You notice his fence?
By the way, barfing doesn't help.
It's in your lungs.
Yeah, his fence.
It's meant to keep him out.
Yeah, it keeps him in.
He's not allowed to leave.
The barbs are pointed inwards.
His neighbors put that up.
His neighbors.
I got some good news and some bad news.
I'm paying for your fence, and it's all expenses covered by me.
But the things point in because you freak me out.
Didn't you smoke a hot pepper?
Yeah, I smoke them all the time.
All right.
Do we have anyone, anything else?
We do.
How many are left?
One.
Oh, this is the last one.
This is badass.
This is why these military guys, after they retire, are frustrated.
Obviously, there's PTSD and it's traumatic to go through a lot of what they went through, but a lot of it was fucking exciting.
And I hope I'm being respectful to vets, but a lot of them miss the excitement.
Like this, how are you ever going to recover from this?
They're chasing a fucking submarine and winning.
What are you going to do after that?
Play golf?
Go do paintball?
Adu debarco.
What does that mean?
Park your subkeep.
Pull over to the side of the ocean.
By the way, sub guys, dive.
What are they doing?
You're a submarine.
It's like chasing a water snake.
Go!
And by the way, this is cocaine they have.
So, I think a lot of us don't want them to get caught.
I'm too old for cocaine, but I know you youngsters are hoping that they fail.
Look at this: bang, bang, bang.
So, he bangs on a submarine door, and it's successful.
They get it open.
Pretty intense, huh?
Oh, they show it twice.
Open up.
Hello?
That'd be funny if the guy inside just goes, I'm doing the dishes and then dives.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
I hope they have life jackets on.
Yeah, what if those guys dived when the dudes were on top?
That looks a little too perfect, doesn't it?
Was that a setup?
Anyway, they got...
They got tons and tons of cocaine.
Guys, what are you doing?
What a waste.
What a waste of time and money.
You prevented what?
A bunch of dudes talking too much and staying up late, working on a sales deal?
Great.
17,000 pounds of chatty Kathys are now prevented.
I love you guys.
I love our military.
I love our Coast Guard.
I think you'd be a little more useful if we were fighting jihad and other bona fide threats and not wrecking the party.
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