Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E62 - POLITICS AS FASHION

All Episodes

Previous Next

Sept. 23, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:49:13

S02E62 - POLITICS AS FASHION

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	That was Alice Cooper.
	I feel bad cutting out the song so early.
	No more, Mr. Nice Guy.
	Whoa, that was good.
	Did you hear that?
	That was very good.
	Just happened to me.
	I thought I pressed play accidentally.
	No more, Mr. Nice Guy.
	That was it as good.
	Yeah.
	I'm losing it already.
	And I'm feeling real shot down now.
	I'm feeling that.
	That sounds sucks.
	What?
	I don't know.
	Well, you don't get to hear it anymore then.
	You want to know a secret about Alice Cooper?
	Yeah.
	You know how these bands all have hired guns?
	The hired guns on Alice Cooper's band are always the top guys.
	So the basist he gets is always the top studio musician bassist in the world.
	And once you've been on Alice Cooper's band, then you get gigs forever.
	You're known as a guy.
	Kind of like Ozzy Osbourne, right?
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	I think they compete.
	Ah.
	Yeah.
	They don't get that much money, those guys.
	They get like a per show per diem.
	That's terrible.
	They're not in the band.
	So that was sent in by a viewer who pointed out that the lyrics kind of sum up the G-Dog.
	We just saw them right there.
	I got no friends because they read the papers.
	They can't be seen with me, and I'm getting real shot down, and I'm feeling mean.
	Speaking of which, I was at my kids' baseball game this weekend, and I was talking to a Jewish woman from Israel and feeling very comfortable.
	We talked about Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, totally comfortable around, especially Orthodox Jews.
	And then I saw a guy show up, and he had pumas on, kind of tight hipster jeans, and a shirt that had a black Rasta on it.
	I couldn't tell if it was like HR from Bad Brains or like Prince Fari or something.
	Some Rasta dude, right?
	On his shirt.
	And I got scared.
	You felt dread.
	I felt dread.
	The dreads gave me dread.
	Yes.
	Do you know why?
	Why?
	I'll tell you why.
	Politics is fashion now.
	So if someone's into fashion, they might be an enemy of mine.
	If someone's intelligent, then they're curious, then they've looked me up and they know where I'm coming from.
	Like the intelligent Jewish woman I was talking to.
	I know she knows the truth and doesn't fall for fucking fake news.
	But someone who's got a cool hipster shirt on is going to think I'm a Nazi and could cause a scene and might affect my children's social life.
	And I kind of had an epiphany because I realized politics is just fashion now.
	It's just a trend.
	So when I see fashionable people, I go, uh-oh, we got a problem.
	Fashionable people are my enemy because the fashion right now is Nazis are everywhere.
	I'm a Nazi.
	Watch out for white nationalism.
	And we're going to go in depth on that on today's show.
	We're going to go to the green screen room and just break down the myth that white supremacy is on the rise.
	And it's especially relevant because Candace Owens was just lampooned and lambasted and pilloried for saying white nationalism isn't a thing.
	I'm having trouble speaking today.
	What happened?
	I don't know.
	I couldn't even say bad brains.
	You got to just do some mouth exercise.
	You know, you stretch out your cheeks.
	My buddy Sebastian taught me that.
	He said, if you're going home and you're drunk, you don't want your wife to know, stretch out your cheeks.
	Manescalco?
	No.
	If you've been drinking a little bit, you've got to stretch out your cheeks.
	That's the worst impression.
	That was a terrible Sebastian Maniscalco.
	But you have a new impression.
	Oh, do I?
	Wait, what is it?
	We should debut it right now.
	Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Ketsu Rivera has a new guy he does, and it's called 80s Trump.
	He recently realized that this guy, frankly, is not how he talked at all.
	In the 80s, he used to talk totally differently.
	I worked on it all weekend, and I just can't do it.
	I'm not sure.
	Some people got it, some people don't.
	You ever see this clip?
	Better yet.
	1980s.
	Here's a 1980s Trump clip that I think.
	And he leans down, too.
	Yeah, as well.
	I'm thinking about running for president.
	I might run for president.
	I don't know if I'm going to do it.
	He does kind of, you know, put his head down, frankly.
	It's like he's getting it over with.
	If you had to choose one, if it was a life and death.
	I can't hear anything.
	Which one would you choose?
	I would probably choose love.
	You would?
	I think so, yes.
	Despite the fact that you spend all your time working, achieving, creating.
	The happiest people tend to be the people that are making a nice income, that really enjoy their life and their family life, and not the people of tremendous wealth that are constantly driven to achieve more and more success.
	You're expected to be a certain kind of a person.
	What he does is he kind of like talks about where he does stand, and then the...
	Here's where I don't stand, and here's the reason why I don't stand there.
	And frankly, standing there is...
	Well, let's see you.
	Could you ask me a question about anything?
	Yeah.
	No, no, show the video you made.
	Oh, you want to show that?
	Alrighty.
	It's private, so I got to find it.
	What do you mean, you got to find it?
	It's like a private.
	He's barely listening to himself when he talks.
	You don't think so?
	I don't know.
	He's like the sound of it.
	I think love is very important.
	And, you know, there's many times that I haven't loved, and I regret those times very much.
	And now I'm focusing more on being a loving person.
	I think love is a very exciting thing.
	Frankly.
	Still does Frankly.
	Frankly's never left him.
	No, frankly, it's never left.
	I mean, there's a lot of things that have left, but one of the things that hasn't left is Frankly.
	He kind of sounds like Johnny Depp doing Hunter Thompson.
	Yeah.
	What do you think of this year's presidential race?
	Frankly, I think one of the issues right now is that our current mayor, president, and governor, they're all quite losers, and they've made boatload of decisions that are just terrible, really, frankly.
	Terrible decisions.
	And, you know, if I were to go in there, I would know how to clean it up and make things the right way.
	But they're just a bunch of losers.
	And actually, frankly, I think they're borderline homosexuals, which there's nothing wrong with that, but they do hide it behind closed doors.
	They're doing a lot of butt stuff.
	You know, we all like butt stuff, but they like it a little too much.
	They ask for it.
	I believe you're not supposed to ask for it.
	You're supposed to let the women do that.
	Just kind of hope for it.
	But they ask for it.
	You know, they're real creeps.
	This sounds like political presidential talk to me.
	And I know people have talked to you about whether or not you want to run.
	Would you start?
	Well, I'm not sure about that, Oprah, but I will tell you one thing.
	I've sat on the sidelines.
	I've seen a lot of unfairness, a lot of losers out there making advancements and getting far in their business.
	So it pretty much goes on from there.
	No, no, no.
	Let's see it.
	How long is it building?
	I was going to play it on the mailbag show when they finally do that.
	Oh, too late, Bill.
	We've already done it.
	You can't never show this again, so you might as well enjoy it.
	Oh, frick.
	I think one of the main problems that everybody's facing right now in this country, and I've seen it firsthand personally, frankly, deeply, is the epidemic of smelling like the way a carnival looks like.
	When you put on this axe body spray, you really do smell like a sweet treat, and it's disgusting.
	It's not manly at all.
	And they combine things like conditioner and shampoo and body wash into one body.
	That's not funny anymore.
	That's really real.
	But that was good.
	Next.
	You have a new guy.
	There's a lot of things that are good, frankly, but one of the things that aren't good is the thing that I did not do.
	But of course, frankly, there are things that I do do.
	Doo-doo.
	You said doo-do.
	Is it distracting to have my keyboard on the desk?
	I don't think so.
	Okay.
	I have a new guy I like.
	Who?
	Mark Ruffalo is so stupid, and I don't bandy that word around.
	I actually don't like people saying stupid all the time because some of my best friends are stupid and some of my least favorite people are incredibly intelligent.
	They're called nerds and they're no fun.
	But Mark Ruffalo has drifted into Down syndrome territory.
	And I love him now.
	I used to hate him, but look at him.
	He's Lawrence.
	You know Lawrence from the SC TV show Half Wits, where Martin Short, he blackened out his teeth, the bottom half of his teeth, and he looks like he's part Lawrence and part Dr. Bruhl.
	Yeah, this is Lawrence.
	One of my favorite characters.
	Arthur, I don't really care at this point.
	Lawrence Orbach.
	Arthur, I don't care what you do.
	Thank you.
	Lawrence, you were telling us you're still in school.
	Right-oh, Alex.
	Post-graduate.
	Right-oh, Alex.
	No, high school.
	I'm having some degree of difficulty getting through high school.
	I see.
	Well, good to have you do it.
	I'm sure you will, Lawrence.
	Because I have certain goals in life I feel compelled to do.
	Okay, so that's enough, Lawrence.
	Now check out Mark Ruffalo.
	He's the same guy.
	No way.
	He's so simple.
	Like, I want to have him around.
	He's like a toy.
	Everybody, Mark Ruffalo here with the Solutions Project talking about the climate strikes Friday the 20th.
	It is.
	And want to make sure you know about it and want to make sure you turn out.
	We're going to back up our young people in their cry for a climate future and a livable future.
	There's going to be 500 strikes throughout the nation, thousands throughout the world.
	It'll be historical.
	He's going to be great.
	He's simultaneously making an argument for AIDS awareness.
	Did you just say simutaneously?
	Simultaneously.
	Simutaneously?
	Is that like cutaneous?
	What is simutaneously?
	It's incorrect.
	Show Dr. Bruhl, because he's also Dr. Bruhl.
	Dr. Bruhl's rules.
	Dr. Bruhl and Lawrence had a baby and that baby is...
	Hello.
	What do you do in this office?
	Well, we're fertile practice.
	We went over to Moby's house where he lives with my mother, name of Doris Pringle Salahari Brule now.
	That really is pretty funny, huh?
	Weird.
	We have a lot to catch up on.
	We're going to do the Antifa thing.
	We have Michelle Malkin on the show.
	We're going to talk to her about this new DHS Department of Homeland Security decision that they're going to focus, really focus on white supremacy.
	Which, by the way, means that my friends are going to jail for nine years because the jury is going to read this bullshit and go, uh-oh, I better take care of this.
	I better fight the good fight.
	Prevent another night of the long knives.
	What a mess.
	But we'll cover some news first.
	We have a lot to cover here.
	We have a Louisiana guy.
	I'm mean, as we discovered in the opening song.
	And when I saw this, I'm sorry.
	But I just thought, what a fucking absolute loser.
	A man drowned while proposing to his girlfriend in Shithole, Africa, Tanzania.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Yeah, that's in East Africa.
	What were you doing?
	God, she's got some legs on her.
	A Louisiana man has died after asking his girlfriend to marry her.
	There was Gams.
	His fiancé is now sharing his proposal.
	Ladies.
	If you are single, wear high-heel shoes three times a week and you will have a man.
	No man.
	I can't even see her face.
	No man sees those stilettos and those legs and doesn't want to put a ring on it.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	That guy likes your legs so much, he put pants on.
	He's like, I'm hiding mine.
	That joke sucked.
	His fiancé is now sharing video of the proposal.
	She's like, it went horribly wrong.
	This morning, the chance for a lifelong memory turning tragic.
	Stephen Weber and his drowning race and Antoine were on vacation off the coast of East Africa, staying at this resort that features an underwater room.
	Hey, Huey.
	Omar.
	Yeah, the only problem is it's 40 feet down.
	That's not even that low.
	Here by Antoine, who was in the future.
	That's low.
	Dude, that's fucking low.
	A pool is often just 15 feet, 10 feet.
	He went down three pool links and then wrote a long, long letter.
	So she'd have to read it.
	And it said, I can't hold my breath long enough.
	Clearly.
	Yeah.
	I would have taped it to a shark and made him pass by.
	He's got a bicycle tattoo on his wrist.
	I think he might be like an Antifa type of guy.
	Maybe.
	What's it say on the back?
	Anyway, just, will you marry me?
	Yeah.
	And you know what?
	Put it on a little sign and then lower it down.
	Put a weight on it and then lower it down.
	Hang it there.
	Go get a beer.
	Oh, did you see the sign yet?
	What?
	What sign?
	Oh, go to the room, you'll see.
	I'll be here at the bar to hear your decision.
	Everything I love about you.
	Will you please be my wife?
	That's when something went wrong.
	Weber swims away and he never resurfaces.
	Presumably drowning.
	Antoine writing in an emotional Facebook.
	Wait, what do you mean presumably drowning?
	Did he fucking drink?
	Wow, that's a brave assumption.
	Yeah, if you go into water and you don't come out, you have drowned.
	Right.
	Allegedly.
	I remember in Costa Rica, we used to have a house in Costa Rica and there was this guy on the beach who's such a douche.
	And we said, we heard someone drowned last night.
	Yeah, but they're okay.
	And I go, what?
	If you drown, you're dead.
	It's to die by drowning.
	It's a way to die.
	And he goes, he got super mad.
	He goes, you don't have to die if you drown.
	And me and my buddy were going, yeah, no, I'm pretty sure you do.
	That's death by drowning.
	It was a non-lethal hanging.
	We presume he drowned.
	It could have done anything.
	Maybe he was shot.
	And he didn't drown at all.
	You never emerged.
	So you never got to hear my answer.
	Yes, yes, a million times.
	Yes, I will marry you.
	Super bright, intelligent, bad swimmer.
	Loving.
	Wise.
	Friends and family.
	Wise?
	I wouldn't go with wise.
	That's sad, though.
	I know.
	If I was a good person, look, ain't no nice guy.
	Motorhead song.
	I'm not a good person.
	And I saw that and I felt nothing.
	I just thought, you fucking loser.
	What have you done now?
	You dummy.
	40 feet dive?
	What are you, a pro?
	What are you, Mark Ruffalo?
	Yes, we're all going to go down and dive together.
	We're just going to help the kids in their cry.
	No, he has a smile on his face the whole time, like Lawrence.
	We're going to help the kids.
	Here, you do that imitation.
	You should work on that.
	Let me hear him.
	It'll be historical.
	Just pause.
	He looks like such a buffoon that his glasses and his mouth look like an Instagram filter.
	Yeah, a little bit of a moron.
	That's just all around terrible.
	Look at him.
	Hey, I'm Mark Rouvo.
	Just stuff of nightmares.
	The kids cry for change.
	100% renewable energy.
	Great plan.
	The respect of indigenous rights and treaties, biodiversity, environmental justice, sustainable agriculture.
	Indigenous treaties?
	What has that got to do with anything?
	I don't know.
	That's a hell of intersectionality you got there.
	And I think we're pretty good on Indigenous treaties.
	My kids and my wife get a check every month from some fucking 300-year-old land deal.
	I think he means like candy and prizes.
	Oh, treats.
	Little treaties.
	Oh, treaties.
	And French fries and burgers.
	His wife probably said, Mark, if you make a video, I'll give you treaties.
	And he went, okay.
	The commitment to treaties.
	After all videos that are made, children are crying.
	They're screaming.
	I'm doing this for the content of a pinata.
	I have my own shoes, and I wear them whenever I want.
	I'm strong.
	I play the Hulk in a movie, but I'm not really the Hulk.
	Let me hear him.
	Better place for the next 10 generations.
	In earnest in dealing with this catastrophe.
	Shut up.
	Hey, that reminds me.
	Skip way ahead.
	Way, way ahead to Child Miners Aged 4.
	Wow, you're a minor and a minor in every sense of the word.
	It's like the fourth last link.
	It's in mailbag, but we're jumping ahead here.
	Child miners aged 4 living hell.
	So your electric car requires what?
	Cobalt?
	I think.
	The batteries require cobalt.
	And you get that from the Congo.
	And the Congo uses tiny bare hands.
	What does it say there?
	Throw a mountain of huge rocks with his tiny bare hands.
	The exhausted little boy.
	Look at this.
	This is your electric car, Mark Caruffalo.
	This is your renewable energy.
	See, this goes back to what I was saying about fashion.
	That fashionable guy, like, they don't really care.
	They're not into the truth.
	This whole white supremacy thing has nothing to do with the truth.
	If you could give them just a little toot of heroin and get them to speak the truth, they go, what?
	I know they're not Nazis, man.
	It's the thing to do now.
	Talk about climate change and call everyone a Nazi.
	That's what everyone's doing now.
	So that's what I'm doing.
	But I don't believe, I don't give a fuck about little kids in the Congo.
	I just, everyone has electric cars, so I got an electric car.
	Anyway, do you got any more of this shit?
	That's really good stuff.
	I'm so itchy.
	That's a really good Brule.
	Which in turn means a really good Ruffalo and a really good...
	Lawrence.
	Lawrence.
	Okay, so that guy could afford to be a little scareder of water.
	By the way, a buddy of mine, at my behest, I think I've told you this before, and don't say his name if you know what I'm talking about.
	He took my advice for his proposal and he said, Let's go to Ireland and then look at your grandparents' grave and go, Isn't it funny how those two met each other, then they made your parents and your parents made you and here we are?
	You know, you make this decision and then you become paired up with someone and it changes society forever.
	It changes lives.
	People make babies.
	It's crazy.
	She goes, yeah, that is really weird.
	Then he gets down on one knee.
	This is how I had planned it.
	Well, will you marry me and continue this cycle?
	And she goes, no.
	Wow.
	No.
	I'm too young.
	She was 25.
	They met when she was 20.
	They'd been living together for almost five years.
	They were inseparable.
	But because she's 25, I'm not ready.
	In other words, I need more dicks.
	Now, I've seen a lot of dicks at the gym.
	They're all basically the same.
	There's the occasional huge one, the occasional small one.
	They're all pretty medium.
	Why do you need so many dicks?
	I don't know if it's the dicks.
	What is it then?
	For women, it's probably like the experience of being swept away by some Burt Reynolds.
	Shut up.
	So that guy could afford to be a little more scared of water.
	But this guy is too scared of water.
	This is Guy in Water in the notes, and it said the hurricane recently.
	What's the source?
	Oh, did I send it?
	It's Guy in Water?
	Yeah, no, no, no.
	In the notes?
	Not the headline.
	Like, Vanity Fair or Parlor?
	Parlor.
	Okay.
	I got it.
	No.
	What are you doing, dude?
	You post on Parlor.
	Like, Guy in Harvey?
	Oh, geez, the whole thing.
	How have you not clicked on the links yet?
	No, I have.
	It's clearly they're all open there.
	But you have to do all this shit.
	You can't send Parlor links.
	It doesn't work.
	Okay, well, why are you finding that out now?
	This is the first time you sent one, I believe.
	Well, this is going to slow down the show, but it has to happen.
	I need you to see this.
	Is there no way to find the article elsewhere?
	No, it's a picture I took of the New York Post.
	Oh.
	But it has to be seen, to be believed, because it is pathetic.
	And it's one of those things that you don't, if you don't have an analytical mind and you're just sort of incuriously breezing through the paper, you won't notice this.
	And you just go, oh, man, they only had high water in Texas again.
	Remember, we had this with Hurricane Harvey not too long ago?
	So they had another hurricane, brutal flooding in Texas.
	And this absolute loser of a zero, I've emailed this to you now, Ryan.
	Is standing on the hood of his car.
	What?
	If you can stand on the hood of your car in a flood, then it's only two feet deep?
	Look at this clown.
	What are you doing?
	Oh, you're scared of the undertow?
	You can have a, first of all, you can see there's no undertow, or the water would be cresting all over the car.
	But secondly, if it's only two feet deep, three feet deep, then the undertow is not going to do shit to you.
	Look at that person in the background, just walking around.
	And then they bring him a life jacket.
	Why?
	Because he can't swim?
	Then don't swim.
	You're in two and a half feet of water.
	Look at this.
	Meanwhile, those people should be out rescuing old ladies or something.
	Not some fit black dude with aquaphobia.
	What?
	Oh, look, it's a cameraman.
	Is that not somebody with an umbrella in a wheelchair?
	What?
	That's what I see.
	No, I don't know what that is.
	I think it's just an umbrella without a person.
	But yeah, maybe you're right.
	It looks to me like a...
	Someone rolling down the street.
	I'm sorry to be unsympathetic about the Louisiana guy who drowned in Africa, but that was idiotic.
	And this is just as bad.
	He needs two people to help him down.
	What an absolute pussy.
	It reminds me of the previous time Texas was bombarded by storms.
	And they had this iconic photo that became, you know, the photo for the, it represented Hurricane Harvey and everyone coming together.
	And this guy is carrying a woman in ankle-deep water.
	Yes, that link is in the stuff.
	It's not a parlor link.
	Oh, like guy in water.
	It's New York Daily News.
	Come on, Ryan, please.
	Yeah, there you go.
	So that's the kind of thing your eye just sort of goes, oh, good.
	And you change, you read the article, you move on.
	But look how deep the water is.
	It's about six inches of water.
	Not even a foot.
	And she has rubber boots on.
	And a baby of that age, Catherine Pham, weighs maybe 11 pounds.
	And it's asleep.
	What are we doing?
	It is cozy.
	Why is he carrying her?
	Like, from now on, if there's a flood, we're only rescuing old ladies and people who are paralyzed.
	I'm done with carrying people in six inches of water.
	And check this out.
	There's another link I sent you there.
	This cuck, Tom Pham, these immigrants come here from Thailand, I guess.
	And she demands that we waste our rescue guys carrying her.
	Meanwhile, he is carrying his shoes.
	Look at him.
	What's his name?
	Something Pham?
	Kathy Pham?
	Yeah, that's her.
	I said his.
	Oh, that seems like.
	Troy Pham, I think.
	Yeah.
	Is his name?
	Hey, Troy, put your fucking shoes on.
	Tell that guy, the Marine SWAT team dude, to go rescue old ladies.
	And you get your nikes wet, carrying your baby, and your wife, she can walk.
	Why can't she walk?
	And it's funny, too, because people just sort of accept it and smile.
	This goes Back, this actually is becoming the theme of the show.
	This goes back to fashion.
	So people just go, Yeah, that's cool.
	He's rescuing people.
	No one goes, Wait a minute, what?
	How deep is the water?
	It's like when Anderson Cooper, remember, he was like, Oh, there he is.
	There's the cuck.
	When Anderson Cooper was like sitting in the water and then talking about how dangerous the flooding is, and then someone just sort of walks by in the background and he said, he's ankle deep.
	That was great.
	That was hilarious.
	And then he tried to cover it up.
	He said, no, the land was all over the place.
	I was just in a dip.
	So why were you in the dip, stupid?
	Yeah, get out of the dip.
	Yeah, there it is.
	There it is.
	Look at this.
	We are water pussies.
	He jumped into a hole.
	I've heard people debunk that and say, no, that wasn't Hurricane Harvey.
	That was a different hurricane.
	Okay, I don't care what hurricane it was.
	It's still fake news.
	Did Trump really say fucking fake news?
	You're fucking fake news.
	When?
	My mom said he did.
	And that's where I get my news from.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	All right, so that's our little water segment.
	Also in the news.
	Miley Cyrus and her friend are no more.
	Miley Cyrus was married for about an hour and a half to some guy named Liam Hemsworth or something.
	And then that other chick was married for about an hour and a half to Brody Jenner.
	Bruce Jenner's son, I believe.
	And now they dated for, I don't know, a month, and now they're no longer lesbians.
	Ladies, I have some bad news for you.
	You were never lesbians.
	This is what girls do in college.
	They're 69 and they think that they're LGBT.
	You want to be brave and gay?
	Be gay when you're my age, when everyone's ugly, when your tits are sagging to the ground, when you've got cellulite, your ass is losing its shape.
	Let's see you do it then.
	This is not brave.
	This is play acting.
	You're playing lesbian the same way you played house when you're a little girl.
	You're not really gay.
	Lesbians are not lesbians unless they're ugly.
	Sorry.
	It's just a fact.
	Gays are gay.
	Actually, what I'm noticing now, and this brings us to the next segment, straights are gayer than gay.
	I think we have to say goodbye to gay having anything to do with homosexuals.
	Because my experience is straits are way gayer than gays could ever gay.
	So let's let the gay ship sail.
	Mark Ruffalo is gayer than any gay.
	Or look at this.
	There's a show out called This Is Us.
	I've never watched it, but I just saw this clip from the Emmys last night.
	And the guy who's the star of the show is so unbelievably gay.
	And I don't mean homosexual.
	He brought his parents to the awards ceremony.
	And the way he talks is so unbelievably irritating.
	What are you doing, Ryan?
	Is this not it?
	No, a paraplegic is the head of a show.
	He can't move.
	That guy.
	Show that's clip.
	Wait, go back to the beginning.
	My love and Tamilia joining me now from This Is Us, Nominal.
	Thank you very much.
	Thank you very much.
	I have to say, you have some very special dates with you here.
	Yeah, I brought my mom and dad.
	Yeah, they're here tonight, right here.
	They must be so proud.
	They're pretty excited.
	Come on, guys.
	Come here.
	Come on, guys.
	Come here.
	What the hell?
	What is this?
	It's the first time.
	They basically, come on up.
	I hate celebrities.
	Hi there.
	I'm Julian.
	I'm so irritating.
	We see you on television.
	It's so nice to meet you there.
	Interviewing him all.
	Third time's the charm.
	Tell me.
	Third time's the charm.
	That's right.
	Why?
	Why is this the first year?
	Why?
	Why would you want to go to that?
	I think it's like seven hours long.
	You have to sit in a chair for seven hours.
	You can't pee.
	Can you imagine?
	That sucks.
	Does anyone watch this shit?
	I forget it even happens.
	Yeah.
	Imagine caring about this is us getting an Emmy.
	This guy is just, he's like an Italian guy who takes paintball too seriously.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, we're going to go over the, you know, the shed.
	I'm sure you are.
	You know, Milo, you told me last year that a mantra of yours, if you will, is to lead with love.
	Lead with love.
	Is that something that you're doing?
	That's my mantra.
	That you learn from.
	Yeah, very much learned from my mom and dad.
	My mom and dad, they're very loving people, very supportive.
	Raise my sisters and I. Watch your step pop.
	Raise my sisters and I with that.
	You know, with the grace that they have.
	Just human beings.
	Can't look at them too much.
	I'll start crying.
	That's melancholy show.
	Imagine calling your dad graceful.
	Well, you can't even imagine having a dad.
	He gracefully exited.
	Hey, dad, you showed real grace today.
	I noticed that at the bar.
	When someone bought you a drink, you paid for their drink and you bought them a drink back.
	That was really graceful.
	You've showed incredible grace today, old man.
	Pops.
	Watch your step.
	Watch your step, pops.
	So I looked it up.
	And it is gayer than gay.
	Homosexuals, goodbye.
	You're no longer invited to the word gay.
	We've taken the ball and run with it.
	Oh, look, there's that huge, obese pig.
	Yeah, is this the first bi-wedal couple?
	What's bi-wedal mean?
	One weighs a lot, the other one weighs normal.
	That's the first fat lady I've seen with a skinny digital.
	She's enormous, too.
	I forget her name, but when you see her.
	Oh, she's tremendous.
	She's great.
	She's huge.
	No, go back to the beginning.
	She's fantastic.
	Turn it up.
	This is the show.
	You know what we should do?
	We should watch a whole episode of this.
	On the show?
	Yeah, let's start watching shows together.
	You know what we should do?
	What's up?
	The Unbelievable, I'm Told, is Unbelievable.
	Chelsea Manning has that video about Hello World, This Is My Privilege, or something.
	We should sit there and watch those and make it an episode.
	Okay.
	Maybe it's a good idea.
	Oh, so we don't watch them together.
	We do it.
	No, we watch it.
	We just clos it.
	Oh, okay, cool.
	So we have a camera on us and then a camera on the screen.
	I like it.
	Frankly.
	Frankly.
	Great idea.
	Okay, what is this crap?
	It's so strange, isn't it?
	How just like that, a complete stranger can become such a.
	There he is.
	That's the guy.
	How many times did she say strange is there?
	Is it strange how strange this happens with this?
	The only way this can be bearable is if some of them are aliens and they're here to kill us all.
	Hi, I'm black.
	I know.
	Yo, I love you.
	I'm making a little tiny egg.
	What is this fucking the nothing happened show?
	Yes, it's a soap opera.
	So there's like five different couples and you just follow them throughout life.
	It's this revolutionary new thing called fucking soap opera.
	You're watching a soap.
	This is your telenovelas.
	Ew, everybody's all happy and there's like little moments of sadness.
	This is what I mean about gay.
	I was sad because we've taken gay from the gays.
	If I was gay, I'd be protesting, saying I want my gay back.
	You're out gaying me.
	Was it M. Night Shyamalan?
	Yeah, it is.
	Oh, yeah, it is.
	He looks like a funny little boy, doesn't he?
	Looks like the kid that I am 10.
	Yeah.
	He plays with cow dung way too much.
	It's fun.
	It's like Play-Doh.
	I saw her on.
	Is there any other video on that Facebook thing?
	Because there's one where she's wearing a black leather dress.
	Go back to the feed of that show.
	Okay.
	And she's wearing a black leather dress.
	Keep going.
	On Jimmy Kimmel.
	Oh, that thing is so gay.
	They're just talking about how life is love.
	What the fuck?
	God, she's dying.
	Look how fat she is.
	Keep going.
	Yeah, there she is.
	Oh, my God.
	Look at that thing.
	That's terrible.
	Her fat is bigger than her tits.
	And her tits are huge.
	It says, guess who stopped by the tonight show?
	It'd be funny if it said guess who stopped.
	She's a literal bag of garbage.
	She's a contractor bag of garbage.
	You can put her out Thursdays, Thursday mornings.
	Wednesdays recycling.
	Thursdays is this chick.
	Chrissy Metz coming down the red carpet in the Force Flex by Glad Bag.
	Holy shit.
	Like if that was your male friend, you'd go, Eddie, what the fuck, man?
	What are you doing?
	Do you have a disorder?
	Like, you're going to die.
	I would be so worried about him if he was my friend.
	Yeah.
	But when it's a woman, she's basically black and she rocks.
	And we're positive about it.
	We're staying positive about her getting diabetes and dying.
	But there's more gayness I wanted to show.
	Wait, I got a clip of her.
	I want to see what she moves like.
	I want to see her get on, like when they say, welcome.
	Oh, no, they just start with her.
	Look at her.
	She looks like a Varouka Salt in Willy Wonka when she lies and turns into a Jerry Blueberry balloon.
	And what's going on?
	Is he in This Is Us this season?
	I mean, the way I know it, I know.
	I mean, technically.
	I'll have to say something.
	Technically, stop breathing for a second.
	I was like, if you stop eating for a second, Austin.
	He is.
	Look at him.
	I know, but.
	What the fuck?
	But this could be from anywhere.
	It could be.
	Just a stock photo of M. Night Shamel.
	Why are they trying to make it look advanced?
	It's a soap opera.
	The end.
	Right.
	You have a famous guy doing a cameo in your soap opera.
	That guy on the phone or something.
	Anything but looking at you.
	Look at that.
	He's on someplace else.
	This is what I don't get about modern society.
	Why are we all pretending, like with Miley Cyrus, we're pretending she was a lesbian for a month?
	What?
	She made out with another hot chick when she was drunk at a party and then decided to subsume lesbian culture and make it her own.
	She wasn't a lesbian.
	That woman is dying.
	Why are we all just being...
	But you got to see this.
	Gayer than gay.
	Dax Shepard has a crush on Brad Pitt.
	Oh, shoot.
	That's another parlor thing.
	Oh, fudge.
	I think it's this one.
	Viewpost on parlor.
	God dang it.
	They make it.
	See, that's the thing they got to change.
	You should be able to look at stuff without signing in, frankly.
	Well, why aren't you on parlor?
	I am.
	I just haven't not signed in on this.
	Well, sign in.
	And also, check all the links before we start the show and make sure they work.
	Oh, you got that stupid verification thing?
	Yeah, this is an opening.
	Anyway, Dax Shepard is a fan favorite of Ellen.
	So when she's away going on a pussy-eating vendor, she gets Dax to come in and do the show.
	And Dax's favorite subject is Brad Pitt.
	How gorgeous he is.
	Now, you're allowed to have man crushes, but your man crush has to be a killer.
	For example, my man crush Jason Statham.
	I like seeing him kick the living shit out of people in movies.
	You're not allowed to like Brad Pitt as a dude.
	That's like liking David Beckham or something.
	What the fuck are you doing, Ryan?
	You can't figure out those little robot things?
	No, the captch is fine.
	The password's not correct.
	What?
	Wow.
	Anyway, it's ruined now.
	What are you doing?
	You're trying to figure out what your own password is?
	It can only be a couple of things.
	Well, then why are you having so much trouble?
	This has been like 10 minutes.
	I don't think it's actually working.
	Oh, my God.
	It would be faster if you just to look it up.
	Dax Shepard, Brad Pitt, Ellen.
	God, I want to stab you sometimes.
	He's not smart enough to use Parlor.
	He can't work his password.
	He can't work anything.
	That's, by the way, my ghetto social media now, Parlor and Telegram.
	And you can find it on the links on this site.
	Ew, look at his sweater.
	I hate celebrities.
	I was told that Ellen left a surprise for me, which I'm excited to see.
	Apparently, she was talking with another guest last week, and my name came up.
	I haven't seen this, but let's take a look.
	I'll tell you who saw that movie, I bet, a ton of times.
	And he's in love with you, as a matter of fact.
	Every time he's here, Dak Shepard, take a look at this clip of how obsessed he is with Brad.
	Let's talk about Brad Pitt, because you love him?
	Sure deal.
	I'm actually changed.
	Look at this son of a gun.
	Let's be clear, you're not gay, okay?
	I am not with the exception of him.
	I see.
	He is an angel.
	He's not a...
	This is someone that has fallen from the stars.
	Right.
	Let's give Dax his gift.
	Oh, my God.
	Do you know that Dax Shepard has a crush on you?
	I have a bit of a crush on Dax Shepard.
	Wow.
	I don't believe it.
	Woo!
	Woo!
	Guys, I did not know that was coming.
	I gotta take a cooldown lap.
	Well, another surprise today.
	What have we done to masculinity?
	And I don't think Dak Shepard is gay, by the way.
	That's my point here.
	Is that gays have been left in the dust?
	We have out-gayed gays.
	Look at this.
	This is gayer than gay.
	We love daddy.
	These little rascals.
	We don't need your love.
	What they did is they vandalized yourself.
	clean your room.
	Who gives a fuck?
	I cried.
	The miracle really is not only that they tricked me, is that neither of them told me last night during bedtime, which is almost impossible to believe.
	They can't keep any secrets whatsoever.
	That's entertainment.
	If my wife brought the kids to the studio and I come in and there's fucking notes all over the wall, I go, what are you doing?
	You brought the kids into the city?
	What are you doing now?
	Did they miss school?
	Why are they here?
	Tell them to go back home and now I got to clean the studio.
	It's idiotic.
	And it's unbelievably gay.
	Okay, my final entry into this is activism is gayer than gay.
	And I was looking at this tweet where this guy put up, he was talking about a weekend of climate change fighting.
	Oh, Jesus, Ryan.
	There you are.
	Adam Greenberg.
	First of all, look at his face.
	Click on his face.
	You're just going to want to punch it.
	Look at that.
	Look at his unbelievable fucking face.
	And his stupid little landing strip from 1990s hustler on his chin and his sweet little smile with his kafaya and his wool hat.
	It's probably 80 degrees that day.
	Look at him.
	Okay, now check out the pictures that he posted.
	So what does he say?
	Amazing sight.
	No, no, not yet.
	Amazing sight.
	Healthcare workers together with Black Lives Matter.
	What the fuck have they got in common?
	I hate the way the left just puts it all in one big bucket.
	Have set up free health screenings and blood pressure clinic on Independence and Washington in DC.
	What?
	Oh, that's the streets?
	Welcome to Shut Down DC.
	Building a better world is good for you.
	So come on down on the price is right.
	Free shit for me.
	So first, this is the least queer out of any of the pictures, and it's blood pressure checks in case you're stressed out about the fact that the Earth won't be here anymore.
	And by the way, all this climate change bullshit, these lies, they are stressing out our kids because we're telling little eight-year-olds that the Earth's not going to be here when they're 30 years old.
	That's clearly a lie.
	Even my son, my six-year-old, goes, Dad, did turtles die with plastic straws?
	I go, no, it's not a thing.
	There was one video that went viral where a woman pulled a straw out of a fucking turtle's schnauz.
	And that became the end of plastic straws forever.
	Because we're living in this epoch where politics is fashion and a trend changes everything.
	So that's the lease gate gets.
	Now check out this.
	Look at this.
	What the fuck?
	Why, first of all, why is an Asian there holding it?
	Secondly, what the flying shithead does Black Lives Matter have to do with unicorns?
	Am I the only person not crazy here?
	Look at that.
	Black Lives Matter, and they've made a stencil out of a unicorn and spray-painted different colors around it, so now it's a rainbow flag?
	Black Lives Matter, for example, a unicorn on a full moon.
	Is that the, like, I want to wear that shirt?
	I would probably get beat up for wearing it.
	Yeah, it seems like you're mocking the movement.
	They're so ridiculous that they look like they're mocking it.
	Maybe it's a Lisa Frank throwback because that was like a very, like in the hood, this kind of stuff.
	A lot of people were big in the hood.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like in the Bronx, like the black community.
	Yeah, go back to that stupid sign.
	No, you're wrong.
	No, there's nothing to do with that.
	It's just unbelievably fucking retarded.
	Look at that.
	And what does climate emergency have to do with black lives?
	And what does any of that have to do with a unicorn?
	I think there's another one, too.
	Is that it for pictures?
	It's just lame.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, no, no.
	Look at this.
	Look at on the far left there.
	One world, one love.
	And then there's a medical sign with the snake.
	Earth, body, both.
	What?
	One earth, one love, earth, body, both.
	Oh, no, no.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't know why I said I'm sorry.
	It's one earth, one body, love both.
	It's top down, top down, top down.
	Still gay, still retarded.
	One earth, one body, love both.
	Yeah, what they didn't do was use the icons to separate the two.
	Yeah.
	You know, so it does look like shit.
	Yeah, it's very confusing.
	And now that you explain it to me, I still don't get it.
	Like, love your body?
	One earth, one body, love both.
	You love your body?
	Or do we already love our body?
	I don't even know.
	I don't know.
	Unbelievable.
	All right.
	So speaking of the truth, there was a brilliant little prank played in Massachusetts in a small town where they put up flyers all over town, this shishi bourgeois town that pretends to embrace Islam, yet they don't have any jihadists in their vicinity.
	They put up these posters that said, Islam is right about women.
	And That's just genius.
	It's the same as it's okay to be white.
	And it's kind of the same as the Sharia protest we had in New York, where we kind of tricked Antifa into supporting Sharia, which, by the way, is everything they're against.
	Because we said we're against Sharia, and they go, no, no, no, we're for it.
	And you go, oh, okay, you're for women being second-class citizens.
	So this is a guy.
	I'll explain the joke to you in case you don't get it.
	No one in the town seemed to get it.
	He's saying, yeah, I'm so sexist that I support Islam.
	It's the kind of a joke I've done a few times.
	In fact, I did it at the Sharia rally.
	I said, let's cut this shit.
	They're right about a lot of stuff.
	Women can't drive.
	They should get permission to drive.
	And I'm sick of seeing hot chicks everywhere.
	Put a burqa on them.
	I get too horny looking at them.
	And that's my same joke.
	And by the way, no one got the joke at the rally.
	That's so weird.
	rallies they want to hear like hitler talk dadada dadada dadada dadada dadada dadada So you can just basically say, USA, this is America.
	We rock freedom.
	Yeah.
	You basically have to talk like Team America World Police.
	Anyway, that's the joke I did at the Shari Rally, and this is the joke they did in town, and it's just beautiful.
	Let's just roll the tape.
	Somebody call this town idyllic.
	Its streets are clean, green spaces, well manicured, the The people of Winchester diverse and engaged.
	Then taped to the streetlights, suggesting that women are subjugated by the Muslim faith.
	I find the sign disturbing, and I hope it's just a prank that someone didn't think through.
	There weren't a lot of them.
	Eight, maybe ten.
	But placed in the town center where passersby would take notice.
	Dude, whoever did this, please contact us.
	You're awesome.
	And hilarious.
	Personally, I don't agree with that.
	It was him.
	A second-class citizen.
	Human rights.
	I believe in human rights.
	The words could be interpreted in several ways, but the police say whatever the meaning, it's protected speech.
	It's non-threatening.
	It was basically one statement.
	Weird badge.
	Right now, it's kind of funny.
	The only reason we took him down is because they agree with it.
	It's like a judge dread badge.
	If the intention was to shock people, it may have worked.
	If the intention was that the tenets of Sharia law and what those say about women are right, then I disagree.
	It is an interesting dilemma.
	Sharia.
	Even like if she pronounces it defiantly, Sharia.
	Have you noticed a pattern with this show and the outrage culture in general?
	A total willfully ignorant conspiracy.
	A complete inability to comprehend satire.
	Not one of those people went, I get it.
	It's pretty funny.
	You got me.
	Like the whole Proud Boys thing, where they get beat up until they can name five breakfast cereals.
	People just call it bizarre.
	The idea that it's a joke has never occurred to anyone.
	That's a funny prank someone played, and it's hilarious and it's insightful.
	It's really what good art is.
	And getting good at it, if you will.
	If you will.
	All right.
	I think we should Oh, yeah.
	No, let's call Michelle after we do the Antifa thing.
	I'm going to get up, go to the green screen room, and explain to you why Candace Owens is right and the Department of Homeland Security is wrong.
	Thank you.
	I'm a Z. Peace.
	Candace Owens was ridiculed last week for saying that white nationalism is not a thing.
	White supremacy is not a problem.
	She's wrong.
	White supremacy is a problem in that this constant myth of Nazis lurking around every corner is putting people in jail.
	It's getting people deplatformed, depersoned, fired.
	We've got entire firehouses shutting down based on the possibility that the VP is a proud boy and that might affect how he puts out fires.
	Yet, you can have a Muslim work at American Airlines and be sabotaging planes, and it takes about a year before anyone dares risk offending him by saying, excuse me, are you a terrorist?
	So this boring fact is actually one of the most dangerous things in the country right now because they are using the myth of white supremacy to throw people in jail.
	I got two buddies, John and Max, facing sentencing this month, and it could be nine years for defending themselves against bona fide domestic terrorist Antifa.
	So there is anti-Semitism in this country.
	It's Islamic.
	There is terrorism in this country.
	It's Islamic and Antifa.
	And white supremacy is not a thing.
	Now, by saying it's a thing, you are empowering law enforcement to go and start picking up Trump supporters and throwing them in jail.
	My friends are looking at nine years in prison for defending themselves from an ambush.
	So NBC News recently announced the Department of Homeland Security is adding white nationalism to its list of threats.
	And they were basing this on the El Paso shooting where how many were killed?
	22 people were killed in El Paso by a guy who hated immigration.
	That just means white supremacy to them.
	I don't really understand why.
	Why is anti-immigration immediately mean that you're a white supremacist?
	It doesn't add up to me.
	And they also conveniently ignore the shooting that happened around the same time where Connor Betts killed more people, 34 people.
	And Betts had long expressed support for Antifa accounts, causes, and individuals.
	So we have Antifa terrorism and anti-immigration terrorism.
	We don't have a white nationalism problem.
	That's a lie, and you are being lied to in order to grab power from you and give it to the tyrants, the authorities.
	I was pretty shocked to see the Department of Homeland Security jump on board, and they talked about targeting patriot groups.
	That's a really disturbing part of that article.
	They said that back during Timothy McVeigh, they had to focus on patriot groups.
	Timothy McVeigh, by the way, was not a white nationalist.
	He blow up that building because he hated the government because he saw the government murder people on the Quresh compound.
	And that Quresh Compound, those deaths included plenty of visible minorities.
	So, this is a trick they do.
	They ignore Antifa, they ignore Islam, and anytime they see a white guy do a crime in a country that's about 75% white, by the way, they say, Oh, that's domestic terrorism.
	They include violence.
	I mean, sorry, they include vandalism, they include tree spiking, smashing the windows of a bank, any sort of anti-government thing immediately becomes white supremacy.
	Even the Vegas shooter, they use the Vegas shooter as an example of white supremacy.
	Meanwhile, we don't even know what his motive was.
	And I believe his girlfriend was Muslim.
	Anyway, look at the mob in this link, this evil Nazi mob.
	I don't understand why we don't talk about socialism.
	These guys are socialists.
	Isn't socialism a threat?
	But I looked these guys up.
	I never heard of them.
	The National Socialist Movement, right?
	The Nazis.
	I believe the acronym includes National Socialism.
	This is the threat that's taking over America.
	This is Department of Homeland Security ignoring Islam, ignoring Antifa.
	They have to focus on one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, seven dudes and some crazy lady, one of their girlfriends, I assume.
	This is the threat that's taking over America.
	This, Candace Owens, is an imbecile for saying this is not a big deal.
	She trivialized the trivial.
	That's where we are in society right now.
	To simply state facts is radical.
	Just scroll down on this pathetic website, which takes a while to get to, by the way.
	When you look them up, it's ADL, SPLC, a million different links about how evil they are.
	And then you finally get to their site of this tiny group of people.
	And by the way, they're choosing their best pictures.
	They're choosing their most numerous photographs.
	And it reminded me of, what was this, the Daily Beast article?
	Domestic terrorism arrest tied to white supremacy, FBI director.
	Yeah, so this is...
	So this isn't just a silly lie.
	This is a dangerous myth that is going to imprison men, put men in cages for no fucking reason.
	John and Max were defending themselves after Antifa ambushed them.
	If anyone should be in prison for domestic terrorism, it's the guys who vandalized the venue, threatened people, beat up a journalist, stole his stuff.
	All of that was expunged.
	None of that appears on the FBI stats.
	Now, let's just take a look at Islam just for a second.
	Let's peek in on Islam.
	Yes, they are only 1% of the population.
	That's true.
	But isn't it funny how even by the alt-left standards, even by the Daily Beast, FBI, mainstream media, even by their standards, we have a Muslim problem.
	If 1% of the population is about as dangerous as, you say everyone's a Nazi, right?
	So that's like 50% of the population.
	Let's say it's 30% of the population.
	30% of the population are white nationalist Trump supporters, according to you.
	Aren't you disturbed by your own stats, which, by the way, are bullshit?
	But even by your own stats, 30% of the population is doing as many shootings and terrorism and murders as 1% of the population?
	Does that not bother you?
	So looking at this, you've got to search pretty hard to find proof, by the way, that the FBI are lying.
	But the Religion of Peace is a good website for this.
	And it says, the FBI list includes violence against property rather than people.
	In fact, the formula used by the agency to divine terrorism is somewhat fuzzy.
	While it includes tree spiking and bank robbery, for example, it somehow admits the Arizona assassination of a Sunni cleric by Iranian terrorists in 1980, or the 1990 murder of Rabbi Kahane by an Islamic radical at the New York Hotel.
	Even the killing of two CIA agents by a Muslim extremist at Langley in 1993.
	By the way, the other trick they do is they count terrorist attacks as one incident.
	So say some Nazi Klansman shoots his buddy for fucking his wife.
	That's one incident.
	September 11th, 3,000 people died, World Trade Center.
	That's one incident.
	One for one.
	Seem reasonable?
	Also, this link leaves out a million other examples.
	For example, one of my favorite examples of people ignoring Islamic violence is this guy, Anton Nolan.
	So that was in, where was it, Nebraska?
	Oklahoma.
	This guy, they call him Anton Nolan in all the press, right?
	And no one notices this.
	That's from rubbing your head on a prayer rug five times a day, bowing to Allah.
	His name is not Anton Nolan.
	His name is Yakim Yisrael.
	And him beheading his boss for firing him was not workplace violence, as the FBI stats say, as the mainstream media says.
	Him beheading his boss was just typical Islamic behavior.
	In fact, on his Facebook page, and look how deep I got to go to the internet to find the truth.
	He had the 8, 9, 13 quote from the Quran, I will instill terror into the hearts of the unbelievers, smite ye above their necks, which means chop their heads off, and smite all their fingertips off them, which is why we have people, Islamists posing like this in photographs, because it's from that same quote.
	So the truth is that within this 1%, we have a dangerous risk of domestic terrorism that is disproportionate to their population.
	American Muslim men, always tell a liberal this, by the way, and they never believe you.
	I'm going to say it for the 50th time.
	Young American Muslim men between the ages of 18 and 24, 25% of them, one in four of them think suicide bombing is sometimes or often justified.
	Go talk to all Christians, all Trump supporters, all quote-unquote patriot groups, and ask them, when is suicide bombing justified?
	You are going to get a big fat zero percent.
	But with American Muslim men, it's very common, especially black American Muslims.
	We've got these jihadist camps all over the country that get zero media attention.
	We've got Islam Burg.
	We had that one in New Mexico where a child was starved to death in some bizarre ritual.
	These guys get away with it.
	They got away with probation.
	It barely made it to the newspapers.
	Have you got that one?
	Child Starved to Death in Ritual in New Mexico?
	These camps all follow the same Pakistani Muslim cleric.
	Yet, we don't talk about it because, I guess, because the guys are black, it's not convenient.
	The truth is: hate is not on the rise in America.
	That is a lie that is used to fear-monger and give the government, law enforcement, the deep state more power.
	If I can convince everyone that they're going to blow up tomorrow by those eight Nazis we just showed, then I can take away your rights.
	Then I can spy on you.
	Then I can throw your friends in prison.
	Then I can de-platform you.
	Then I can stop Trump from getting re-elected.
	If I can make Trump Hitler, then I can win World War III.
	That is the mentality behind this lie.
	But look at, there's a real clear politics link I've brought up on the show a million times, but I'll bring it up again.
	And that's, who wrote that again?
	You just had it up.
	There it is.
	David Harsanyi.
	And he says, he's talking about the FBI stats and how flawed they are.
	And he says, he's explaining where they get this misnomer of there being a surge in right-wing violence.
	There were zero acts of right-wing terrorism in the entire nation in 2002.
	Since then, we have a, quote, surge to 36 in a nation of 325 plus million people in 2017.
	Among those acts, there were 11 fatalities.
	By the way, bee stings kill about six people a year.
	So we have twice as many domestic terror deaths in 2017 than we had bee stings.
	We're in the same general category.
	But you don't hear the Department of Homeland Security bitching about bees.
	They talk about the Las Vegas shooter.
	Then there is the matter of inconsistently defining terrorism.
	If throwing a rock through the window of an Islamic center is an act of right-wing terrorism, why isn't it an act of left-wing terrorism for anti-capitalists to throw rocks through the window of a business in Oregon?
	Excuse me.
	Surely both fall under the description of terror, which the GTD defines as the threatened or actual use of illegal force and violence by a non-state actor seeking to attain political, economic, religious, or social goal, blah, blah, blah.
	Basically, terrorism is someone committing violence to show, to attain political gain.
	The FBI has a blind spot when it comes to Antifa and Islam.
	And the Antifa one is particularly egregious.
	One of the most shocking examples of this was this guy, Zach Rahl.
	He's in Philadelphia.
	He's like a big cop guy, and he has benefits for cops all the time.
	We've had a cop suicide once a month so far this year with the NYPD.
	So cops are under siege.
	And it's not just throwing water.
	It's getting murdered and being ridiculed to the point where their life isn't worth living.
	Anyway, Zach Riel had a brick thrown through his window and they spray painted Nazi on his house.
	This just missed his girlfriend, this brick.
	You know what Zach Rel Sin was?
	How do you pronounce his name, Riel?
	Zach Sin was having a rally, a We the People rally in Philadelphia, where a bunch of boomer conservatives dress up like Ben Franklin and they wave the Constitution around.
	It's almost kind of like nerdy founding fathers type stuff.
	Antifa said this was a Proud Boys Nazi rally and it was to celebrate the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh.
	What?
	How is that peak clown world or what?
	I've said this before.
	If Nazis, if there was a synagogue shooting in Germany in 1942, the Nazis wouldn't go and have a celebratory rally.
	Even the Nazis would go, let's let the dust settle.
	Let's let it die down a little bit, guys.
	But in today's clown world, that was the norm.
	In fact, there was a tweet about it.
	Yeah, that's the next one right after that.
	The Proud Boys magazine.
	Yeah, go to that one.
	So scroll down.
	There, that tweet.
	Malcolm Harris, one week from right now, the Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups are coming to a rally in Philadelphia right outside of the National Museum of American Jewish History.
	Now, the rally was down here, right?
	It's the city center.
	Yes, there's going to be lots of museums and big things.
	It's about a quarter mile away from the Jewish Museum.
	But the narrative became they're there to celebrate.
	This is the fucking insanity we're living in right now.
	And that morning, I remember the Jewish Museum tweeted out, we're still open, like defiantly standing up for themselves, despite a giant rally to celebrate a synagogue shooting.
	What?
	And you know what else happened that day?
	I just remembered.
	Two Marines were attacked, pepper sprayed.
	They were called SPIC and Wetback by Antifa.
	And those Antifa were arrested and are facing 15 years in prison for attacking Marines they assumed were there for this Nazi rally, which wasn't a Nazi rally at all, and ended up with a brick through Zach's window.
	But the FBI doesn't list that.
	And finally, one of the biggest cases of Antifa terrorism was this guy, William Van Spronsen.
	Now, here on It's Going Down, which is an Antifa website, they murder him and make him into this God who was just trying to, look at that, who was just trying to wreck a car so it couldn't go pick up illegals and deport them and put them in cages.
	That's all.
	Really, if you're going to wreck a car, you can just break all, you can just pop the tires with a knife.
	He had magazine after magazine, round after round of ammunition, because he was going to mass murder ICE workers.
	This is a group that doxes the homes of ICE workers, threatens them at their facilities.
	This guy had already been arrested for attacking a cop at this same facility.
	He was going there to kill dozens and dozens of people.
	By killing him, they prevented a bloodbath.
	They prevented bona fide domestic terrorism.
	The myth of white nationalist terrorism is putting men in jail.
	It's going to start, it's going to be used to justify a massive roundup of patriots, and it's going to put my two buddies in jail for nine years for defending themselves.
	You should be wary of white nationalism, not because it's a thing, but because it isn't a thing.
	I got the friends cause they're green They can't be seen You know, we did, we'll hear it soon.
	We still have to edit it, but we had Joe Biggs and Roland Martin on the next free speech.
	When do you think that's going to be ready, Rag Eye?
	For sure this week, maybe, well, this Friday we have Milo and I. No, it should be ready.
	How long does it take you to do that?
	It should be like tomorrow.
	Okay, we could do it.
	How long does it take?
	Well, I have a busy night tonight, but I mean, tomorrow night?
	Yeah.
	You're just merging the videos.
	Yeah, you need to do cuts.
	And you have to work.
	We're not editing anything out.
	It has to be 100% live.
	Anyway, he was saying hate is on the rise in America.
	You kind of know where he's going to come from.
	A CNN contributor, Roland Martin, he was wearing this sort of African garb.
	And I said, okay, why is hate on the rise?
	And he said, this is a common trope with them.
	White men see that they're going to be a minority in a long time, by the way.
	It's something like 30 years or 20 years or something.
	And that scares them.
	Now, the funny thing about that theory, and it is a theory, is I've never heard any white guy mention that ever.
	And I've never even really thought about it.
	I clearly aren't worried about the white race if I'm making American Indian kids, right?
	Right.
	But do I like the idea of whites become a minority?
	Not really.
	I don't like the idea of Japan losing Japanese people and it becoming a different culture.
	I'll have to think about it.
	It's going to take some mulling over.
	But to assume that it's this thing where everyone, there's a rise in white nationalism because whites fear they're going to be a minority, it's kind of a crazy theory.
	And to base your entire ethos on it, the entire election campaign, that whole hate has no home here, is based on the assumption that white nationalism is on the rise.
	Jesus.
	With the flubs?
	The flubs are out of control today.
	We should do a flub montage.
	It's just weird.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like someone says, it's like someone having a problem with you because they assume you're gay.
	And you go, but I'm not.
	And you go, man, I think you are.
	I saw you kiss Milo.
	And you're like, yeah, that was to incense Islam.
	That was to make terrorists mad.
	No, I know you are.
	Okay, put all your eggs in that basket, dummies.
	I'm not calling Roland Martin a dummy, but I'm just really confused by that weird theory.
	And people don't act a certain way because of something that's going to happen in 20 years.
	I mean, I know everyone I know on the new right is concerned about Trump's reelection.
	So we don't really think more than November ahead.
	People don't really think more than a year ahead.
	So this whole idea that we're concerned about 2040s demographics, have you ever heard anyone say that?
	Not you, Ryan.
	You don't talk to anyone.
	But I've never heard anyone say that.
	And he says, talk to Pat Buchanan.
	I don't think I've even heard Pat Buchanan say that.
	He talks about the West a lot, but I don't think I've heard him talk about the whites being a minority.
	Anyway, let's talk to Michelle because she's a resident expert on this subject, and she's a woman in a minority, so that's good for our political correct pandering.
	Politically correct.
	It's a nice guy.
	No more.
	It's a dream.
	No more.
	Michelle, are you there?
	I'm here.
	Hello, Given.
	I'm a Malcontent.
	That's the name of your fans.
	That's right.
	I think Lady Gaga.
	I think we're going to the diamonds and there's Michelle and the Malcontents.
	Yes.
	Lady Gaga has little monsters.
	I think Katy Perry has kitty cats.
	Right.
	We're malcontents.
	I wanted to tell you about this article that I saw.
	It really disturbed me.
	It was the Department of Homeland Security Strategy adds white supremacy in its list of threats.
	And then in the article, they go on to say that the FBI considers white nationalism a bigger threat than Islam.
	What say you?
	You know, the deep, deep, deep state that infests all of these administrative bureaucracies and alarmingly, our law enforcement agencies is like the crud at the bottom of, you know, some really, really nasty toilet and some public space that you just can't scrape away.
	I mean, or like really bad tartar that you just can't get rid of.
	And, you know, we had to deal with this under the Obama administration.
	There was a DHS report that basically said the same thing.
	And what they were doing was targeting Tea Party activists, pro-lifers, immigration enforcement patriots.
	And that's what this is again.
	I mean, and obviously it's targeting groups like the Proud Boys and the Patriot Prayer.
	And there's no evidence for it.
	And so we still have mollifying of the likes of care, even though we have President Trump in office.
	Yeah.
	Well, I think it's about Trump.
	I think it's an anti-Trump dictum.
	Like this one sentence really disturbed me.
	It said, with a focus on what was called patriot groups that was quickly overshadowed.
	So they were talking about back during Timothy McVeigh, there was a focus on patriot groups and quotation marks, and now they're back on that.
	Clearly, they mean anyone who likes Trump is now a white nationalist and is now a domestic terrorist that has to be monitored.
	Yes.
	Well, it tells you something about the level of scholarship behind reports like this in that I don't know if you saw the part where they characterized incel as a terrorist movement.
	Oh, great.
	That's in there.
	It's just anti-mail.
	And the problem is people take this up.
	Like the jury for the Proud Boys case in New York here, they hear this and they go, oh, geez, we better nip this in the bud and throw those guys in prison so we don't have a radical Nazi movement starting.
	Yeah.
	It's a dangerous power grab.
	It is.
	And like I said, what's most dispiriting is that this is happening under the Trump administration.
	And, you know, despite the best efforts of allies and friends of sovereignty and patriotism to get rid of this crusty layer, they haven't succeeded, obviously.
	And this is right after Trump was saying that he thinks Antifa should be listed as a domestic terror thing.
	And we had that massive shooting in Ohio with, what was it, 30 people killed?
	Yeah.
	34 people killed.
	That was an Antifa guy.
	And we totally ignore these Antifa attacks and find, you should have seen this NBC article.
	I'll send it to you.
	But they have this picture of like the National Socialist Movement, and it's four guys, Zeke Heiling.
	I looked up their site.
	It really is half a dozen guys.
	And they're dominating the news cycle now as far as the FBI goes.
	Well, this is everything that your lawsuit against the SPLC is bringing to light.
	You know, this tactic of taking some random person in Idaho, extrapolating from that and turning it into some sort of concerted movement when, you know, the reality is that it's groups like Hamas and Hezbollah and CARE and of course Antifa now and Abolish ICE, which is increasingly violent, that are the actual organized movements.
	And I love President Trump and everything that he's doing on sovereignty, but at some point, all of these threats of these designations have to turn into actual action.
	Otherwise, we're going to see more Daytons, and we're certainly going to see more of what happened at the Tacoma ICE detention facility, where a militant, violent, murder-minded Antifa terrorist tried to firebomb that place.
	Thank goodness he was shot and killed before anyone was hurt.
	But his manifesto is out there urging other people to murder ICE agents and their families.
	And for that matter, anyone who supports ICE and supports immigration enforcement.
	And it was applauded by many people online and spread on Facebook and Twitter.
	Yeah, and they said he was just going to hurt a car.
	Meanwhile, he had magazine after magazine.
	That was a mass shooting that was prevented.
	And it doesn't make the FBI stats.
	They don't list that.
	Yes.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Well, the manipulation of that FBI data, you know, in favor of basically regurgitating SPLC reports hasn't stopped yet.
	No.
	I'm going to get kind of Alex Jonesy on you right now.
	Okay, I can't help but think the death of math is somehow part of this.
	Like, they're correct.
	There is more domestic terrorism, I guess, than there is Islamic terrorism in America.
	Muslims are 1% of the population, so they shouldn't even be...
	Where's the Jewish terrorism?
	But people don't understand the term disproportionate.
	We're in a country that's 75% white.
	Of course, the majority of crime is going to be white in this country, but they cross that.
	And I can't help but think the death of math was sort of planned so they could manipulate stats like this and brainwash into everyone into not knowing what the word disproportionate means.
	Yes, I think I've talked to you before about how I want to do a documentary on the death of math and the sacrificing of math at the altar of social justice.
	It really doesn't, it's not just about college.
	It goes all the way to preschool.
	And the textbooks were written by University of Chicago education ideologues who were dedicated to this hijacking of public institutions by social justice ideology.
	And you see the same type of propaganda when it comes to comparing the crime rates of illegal aliens versus American citizens and why we shouldn't be worried about that when, of course, 100% of the crimes committed by illegal aliens are 100% preventable.
	Remember when Alex Jones was nuts?
	Remember when conspiracy theories sounded crazy?
	They really are crushing math.
	And you'll notice this with liberals.
	I always do this trick.
	I say, okay, so say there's 12 million, 30 million.
	We're disagreeing on that.
	I think it's 30.
	You say it's 12.
	Okay.
	Tell me what number is too much.
	And they're allergic to numbers.
	Like you can say 100 million and they go, well, Nevada is pretty vast.
	They could squeeze them in Nevada.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I'm glad you brought up the numbers because I analyzed them in Open Borders Inc.
	That 13 million figure for illegal aliens comes from the Pew Research Center from 20 years ago and hasn't been updated.
	And in fact, the upwards of 30 million figure that you use and that I use didn't come from right-wing haters and xenophobes.
	It actually came from Princeton University researchers who, you know, finally included like all of the updated information that you should so that we weren't using some static number that feeds into open borders propaganda.
	Yeah, the other lie they like to say is that they all come by plane.
	So a wall isn't going to stop them.
	No, no, the ones we have on record come by plane.
	We don't have a record of the hundreds that pour over every single day.
	Yes, that's absolutely right.
	40% of the people who are here illegally are, in fact, Visa overstayers.
	And yes, we have records of them, but then we let them loose and there's no biometric entry exit system for all of those visa holders so that when they overstay their visas and their expiration dates come up, that we can find them and then eject them from the country as we're supposed to do.
	So the other 60% obviously are, as you say, are here illegally.
	And many of them, of course, we have tracked because they've been through the system.
	They've been ordered to port it.
	And then we just let them run loose as well.
	The only country that does that.
	I mean, Mexico is harder on their illegals than we are on ours.
	That is for sure.
	Well, you're doing the Lord's work, Michelle.
	And we know you're run ragged there promoting this book, but I just started it last week and it's a masterpiece.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate that.
	I was in Aurora, Colorado this weekend at a stand with ICE rally.
	Saw one of your proud boys there who stood up and got off the sidelines when this abolished ICE mob had targeted the private home of the facility director of the Aurora ICE Center.
	And, you know, we're pushing back.
	And, you know, it's intergenerational.
	It's beautiful.
	It's peaceful.
	And finally, at least, the police officers here are standing up to the mob.
	And I want to see it spread.
	I told you, I want this to be a viral movement.
	Yeah, well, lies run sprints and the truth runs marathons and just marathons.
	That's right.
	Michelle, thanks for coming on.
	Always a pleasure.
	Thank you, Gavin.
	My dog picked me on the leg today.
	My dick has caught my eye.
	My spin throw out of the snow.
	Speaking of white nationalists, I forgot to give Tommy shout outs when he got out of jail.
	That was a very big deal.
	I forgot because I keep trying to get him on the show.
	He's obviously very busy running around.
	I spoke to him today.
	I'm trying to get him on freespeech.tv.
	He said he'll think about it once a week, just like Joe Biggs.
	Wouldn't that be cool?
	That would be cool.
	Big British flag behind him.
	British update.
	I wonder if he knows that that stupid Bruce Sprinkstein movie where the Indian guy is obsessed with the boss and he goes to Aspury Park and stuff and he gets spat on by a Nazi skin.
	I wonder if he knows that that movie took place in Luton.
	Luton, which is 55% Muslim now.
	And if anyone's getting their face spat on, it ain't no Indians.
	Yeah.
	That place is totally overrun by brown people.
	And the movie's all about how hard it is to be brown in Luton.
	Try being white in Luton.
	Try being Tommy Robinson in Luton.
	Or a woman.
	Try to not get raped there.
	That's a bad scene.
	Actually, I don't know how rape is.
	But anyway, Tommy, I wanted to get him on to talk about this.
	Might get him on tomorrow.
	But the second he gets out, nothing's changed for him, by the way.
	He's still under attack constantly.
	And this Muslim is talking about how he's going to kill Tommy.
	Murder him and his family.
	He tells the police.
	This is a country, by the way, where you get jailed for making a rude joke about Nelson Mandela on Twitter.
	So they're police, thousands of arrests, thousands of arrests based on Twitter jokes.
	But someone makes a bona fide, credible threat, which is illegal everywhere.
	Here in America, we don't, bona fide, believable, credible threats, we don't include that in free speech.
	The law doesn't include that in free speech.
	That's a death threat.
	That's a whole different ball of wax.
	If the Crips, the head of the Crips says, kill Ryan Katsu Rivera, here's where he lives.
	That's illegal because it's plausible.
	You notice I said him and not me in this.
	Anyway, oh, a lot of rapes.
	A lot of rapes.
	Cab driver rapes.
	A lot of raping.
	They're coming for evil predators.
	Two women raped by a Luton guy.
	Another taxi driver.
	That's a year apart.
	So it's different.
	That's crazy.
	I think they only have like nine police.
	This is a different one.
	Taxi driver from Luton, 2007.
	Anyway.
	Oh, no, no, this is the same one.
	And then this one's fun.
	Homeless man jailed for Christmas rape in Luton.
	So Tommy's back in Luton where, no, it's not Nazi skin head spitting.
	It's people threatening his wife and kids.
	So he goes to the guy's house several times.
	And it's in the notes, Ryan.
	Jump ahead.
	He goes to the guy's house and says, what are you doing threatening my family?
	Until the guy calls the police.
	And then when the police show, he goes, good.
	I'm glad you're here.
	this is right after a fucking a robots Here it is.
	I have.
	I'll show you the phone calls, yeah?
	I've rang the police again multiple times today.
	I rang him just 20 minutes ago.
	I rang him three hours ago.
	Got through to the copper.
	Sergeant, what's going on?
	Oh, yeah, I'll get hold of the officer in the case now.
	The officer in the case now.
	So again.
	We have an officer on the case?
	What?
	What reason?
	The man who's threatening to kill my kids and my mum and my wife is behind this door.
	He's now hiding.
	He's turned his lights off.
	And he's hiding in his house.
	Vic Berger, a proud boy came to his house to say, he thinks I set it up.
	But this is what happens when you threaten people.
	People come over to your house and go, what are you doing?
	This isn't a random doxing.
	If you get people hurt and you're threatening people's lives, and Vic Berger editing in a crying child accusing Mike Cernovich of beating his kid, you're going to get people attracted to your location.
	And they're going to come by and say, wait, what are you doing?
	What's happening here?
	It's called doorstep.
	Imagine a white bloke, yeah, specifically, making racial comments.
	Because in his video online, he says he's going to kill any English person he finds.
	What's the stop him walking outside here if he is mentally ill and stabbing and killing any English person that he finds?
	Let alone saying he's going to murder my wife.
	I've had to go for meet and stay at my children's schools and talk to their teachers about him.
	Oh, there you go.
	The door's opening.
	About this man here saying he's going to kill him all.
	Say he's going to kill my family.
	So.
	Wait, the door's opening?
	I think it's three days.
	What's wrong with him?
	He started making these threats three days ago.
	He doesn't come out.
	Anyway, update coming soon.
	He's in there.
	So does this This is how Tommy protects his wife and kids.
	He has to go to the murderer's home to get the police to come because they're there to arrest him.
	The neighbor saw him today.
	It's really, you got to get to the part where the kind says to him, you shouldn't have done this.
	This is not how you handle it.
	And he goes, actually, it is.
	It worked.
	Six hours ago, I've rang the police officer.
	I've got a recording of it again, asking, what?
	Six hours ago.
	Just nick him.
	No, no.
	Just pause for a sec.
	Yes, it was six hours ago, but he'd been calling the police for days.
	Oh, shit.
	This threat is ancient.
	Crazy.
	I've been advised by the police to go and speak to school.
	The police have been trying to find out where I am for two days.
	They're trying to find me.
	Go up to the cops.
	They should be trying.
	When I take my kids to school tomorrow, I'm not watching out for some bloke with a knife.
	I'm saying you're being threatened about this gentleman.
	You want to dig it back a little bit?
	Yeah.
	You've been threatened by this gentleman.
	We come here.
	Yeah.
	Officer, he's just been arrested now.
	Yes.
	So because we come here, they've run him, now he's been nicked.
	The gentleman has been arrested for the allegation you've told us about.
	Brilliant.
	That's all I want to know.
	That's it.
	That's all.
	But do you know it is pretty bad?
	Don't you think it's pretty bad that I've had to come to his house before they used to get him?
	I'm not having to go to you.
	I'm not having you.
	I'm just saying.
	Can I just say, in future instances, you come down here, it's just going to make the situation worse.
	No, it's not.
	You've nicked him.
	It's not worse.
	I'm going to go home.
	My wife's going to sleep very well tonight.
	You come in here, it's just going to make the situation worse.
	No, it's not.
	You've nicked him.
	It made the situation better.
	Now my wife's going to sleep well at night.
	As Ezra Levant points out, Britain is a dystopian time machine where you can see what we're going to be like in five years.
	All right.
	Pretty heavy show.
	Sorry, folks, but that Department of Homeland Security thing really fucking got my feathers ruffled.
	And I think we can lighten it up with the mailbag.
	Okie dokie.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I don't like seeing the player there.
	Me neither.
	I hate it.
	Why do you do that?
	I had to rush it up.
	You can tell by the notes that mailbag's next.
	It says Tommy Robinson.
	We have been following the notes.
	All these have been going very unsequentially.
	I've been jumping around a lot.
	Hey, Gav, a while ago, you made a video that had the song Bamboo by Heinz in it.
	Heinz were called the Deers, but the Deers are a Montreal band, though it's spelled differently, who enforced copyright on them and made them change the name to Heinz.
	I think both of the front women in that band deserve a spot on your list of hot chicks.
	Would love to hear your thoughts.
	Are they traditional beauty or are they gross babes?
	The problem with women in bands is they're two points more attractive because they're playing instruments and stuff.
	Go back to the beginning.
	Can I just say that go ahead?
	they're kind of hiding themselves with fast edits They're knockouts.
	All right, so let's stop.
	Stop.
	No, no, pause it, I mean.
	Oh.
	I want to rate them.
	So the one with the small face closest to me, the whole band is making her an 8, but I know she's not an 8.
	If it was your friend's girlfriend, you'd go, oh, she's sweet.
	She's 7.7.
	But the band makes her an 8.
	And I would say it's the exact same with the other one.
	Maybe the one with the little face is an 8.1, and the one with the bigger chin is an 8.
	What do you think?
	You're so cruel with your ratings, by the way.
	I'd say 7.6 for the one on the right.
	What do you mean one on the right?
	The one closest to me?
	6.9 for the one on the left.
	6.9?
	Yeah, 6.9.
	Fuck you.
	You're an idiot.
	Nah.
	6.9?
	I get the uniqueness stuff, but these are great.
	That's not a 6.9, dude.
	On the right.
	You like that?
	Which is the right?
	That looks like a witch.
	This one?
	Yeah.
	You think she's a 6.9?
	Look at her face.
	Well, that's a bad freeze.
	Keep playing it.
	Okay, it looks like my aunt Colleen or something.
	No, you're mental.
	Play the music.
	It's a great song.
	I think they're Spanish.
	I think they're from Barcelona.
	I think they would be like 9 out of 10 fun.
	Now, you piss me off of that 6.9 shit.
	But visually, the only question is from 7 to 8.1.
	You leaving the 7 and going into 6 land is just irritating.
	Yeah, she's 6.9-ish.
	But, you know, when I see those girls too, it makes me love women so much.
	This is what I think trannies see that and they go, I want that.
	You can't have that.
	Girls are fun.
	Girls are different.
	Girls aren't boys.
	It's not something you can acquire.
	And if you're gay, then it's not something you can be.
	They're just cool, awesome chicks from Barcelona who nap in the day because they have a siesta.
	But it reminds me of that other band, Haim.
	Those Jewish girls who grew up in LA.
	They are Jewish, aren't they?
	Oh, yeah.
	Is that name Jewish?
	It sounds like it's Jewish.
	Oh.
	But these girls, they're what I call gross babes, where they don't have standard beauty, but you find yourself really attracted to them.
	So doesn't that make someone a 7.9, even if they're a 6.9?
	Like, she could be a 6.9 if she was a cunt, but because she's a singer of a band, I think it makes her a 7.9.
	She bypasses the scale.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there's something.
	And you know what's cool?
	Because those three girls have been best friends their whole lives, they're really together individuals.
	So like when you date her and stuff, she's just a rock.
	You know what I mean?
	Girls with a bunch of sisters, they just seem so sure of themselves.
	They're the least crazy bitches you can date.
	That being said, gentlemen, do not date a girl in a band.
	Sorry.
	Do not date anyone in Heinz and don't date anyone in Haim.
	You know why?
	Because she will cheat on you.
	You have to understand that everywhere they go, guys are drooling, dying to fuck them.
	Eventually, there's going to be a lapse.
	Eventually, she's going to have one too many margaritas and she's going to open her legs and you're going to be cheated on.
	So let those go.
	Unless you're Matthew McConaughey.
	Wow, they are very unusual looking.
	Yeah.
	That video was about eight years old, so there's a lot of different hams out there.
	They kind of remind me of Bruce Willis's daughter with the weird head.
	Wait, let me see.
	I would like to see that.
	What are you going to call them all?
	Fives?
	No, they're not fives, but they're like, Oh, yeah.
	Rumor will.
	Yeah, she does have that.
	I have a rumor vibe.
	Yeah, but she's got nicer skin.
	That's not a good picture, that one in the middle.
	And that one on the left looks like she has plastic surgery.
	Anyway, they're all pretty deceptive.
	She's a fucking radium.
	We got to get on with the show.
	All right, the one on the left right there.
	Stop saying left.
	What does left mean?
	The left most on the screen.
	I mean, left is left.
	Right is right.
	Middle is middle.
	According to them, you mean the leather jacket?
	That's left?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Leather jacket, what do you got?
	That's 6.3.
	What?
	What about her special?
	What about her special?
	Or good.
	Okay, keep go back to that original picture.
	All right.
	That's terrible.
	And the one in the middle?
	I'm being generous with that one.
	One in the middle is like, What?
	You're all over the map.
	You think the one in the jacket is 1.5 uglier than the one in the middle?
	you're just Look at her cheeks.
	I'm never asking you.
	First of all, she has no lips.
	You're fired.
	You're fired from chicks.
	And look at her thick eyebrows and her snoozy eyes.
	She sucks.
	I'm sorry.
	She sucks.
	She's weird.
	And I don't know.
	The one on the right, what's she?
	A 2?
	A 9?
	I don't know anything anymore.
	No, she's like a...
	Shut up.
	You're a gay.
	What would you rate them?
	You're a gay.
	You know you never rated them?
	Okay.
	The one in the jacket, again, I'm remembering that she's in an awesome band and she's totally together as a person.
	So I'm doing the whole package.
	7.4.
	The one in the middle, 7.1.
	The one in the end there, 7.1.
	7.
	And you went same.
	All girls in bands are 7s, basically.
	Except for that fat girl.
	I think you're rating blows.
	Yeah.
	Well.
	Do you think the one in the middle is less hot than the one in the leather jacket?
	Yes.
	No, you don't.
	And your voice cracked.
	You don't think that.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Look at the voice crack because I'm so scared of you.
	No, because you can't lie with confidence.
	But the one on the left.
	The one on the left could be a supermodel.
	I don't think you're seeing well.
	Go look at a different picture, too.
	I'm familiar with the band.
	That's the one with the buck teacher.
	I've been following the band for eight years now.
	That's like the brunette.
	Oh, because maybe because she's usually a brunette.
	She was the one we just saw singing, by the way.
	The front girl.
	Why are we doing this?
	Stop.
	I don't know.
	They're just all right.
	You're annoying me.
	Subject.
	Rambo is going to be awesome.
	You know how I know Rambo is probably an awesome movie?
	This is from a guy Kyle.
	Variety Magazine says it's another cruel and ugly showcase of xenophobic carnage.
	And the screenwriters, quote unquote, adopt the racist view of Mexicans as murderers, drug dealers, and rapists.
	Yeah, this is where we're at now.
	Like the last episode of Kirby, the last season of Kirb Your Enthusiasm did terrible with the critics.
	And I realized it's because there was a fatwa out on him.
	And they thought that was Islamophobic.
	It was probably the best season ever.
	He gets, what's his name?
	Salmon Rushdie on the show.
	And they talk about fatwa sex, where girls want to fuck you more when there's a fatwa out on you.
	Is there another sitcom on earth that would dare think of fatwa sex?
	Brilliant!
	Anyway, I'm at the point now where I see critics give a movie a bad review, and I know it's a good movie.
	Do you have the trailer?
	We already showed the trailer for that.
	I can't wait.
	Is it in theaters?
	I don't think it's in theaters yet.
	Let me see.
	September 20th.
	It did come out three days ago.
	Great.
	Can't wait to check it out.
	All right.
	Isn't one of the arguments why women are coming here to escape drug dealers and murderers?
	And so portraying Mexicans as drug dealers and murderers.
	We should do a whole other show on the types of people that are going across the border.
	He wasn't talking about Mexicans when he said they're not sending their best.
	He was talking about the types of people who cross the border illegally.
	And this idea that it's women and little children, no, they bring children because that's helpful when you get arrested.
	You pretend it's your child.
	And by the way, these children get raped regularly.
	Secondly, the Mexican government has been pretty forthwith about the fact that they like to export their criminals.
	It's cheaper than jail.
	So they push their criminals to the border.
	They help them.
	They give them comic books that explain how to do it.
	It's part of their population control.
	Family separation.
	You know what you should say to a liberal when they bring up the cages and all that shit?
	Say, okay, tell me what to do.
	A family comes through, a sweet, gorgeous little family with little kids.
	What was that again?
	Go back?
	They're doing DNA testing to see if, like, because there's so many fake kids.
	Not real kids, frankly.
	Next letter.
	Hey, Gavin, I'm from England.
	I'm 17.
	I've read your book, The Death of Cool, and me and my friend are determined to have party days reminiscent of your own.
	However, we're struggling with one crucial detail.
	How the fuck do you get girls to fuck you?
	None of us are virgins, but we're in a dry spot at the moment.
	I've tried being realistic with my options, but I'm getting frustrated.
	I'm worried I'm going to end up like those loser millennials that don't have sex till they're 25.
	Please help.
	Thanks.
	Calem.
	Calem, you got to lie a little bit.
	All's fair in love and war, but you got to be ruthless.
	And 17 is a tough age because women haven't really developed strong libidos yet.
	Even in their 20s, they're not like genuinely horny.
	They're more like, let's just fuck because that's what you do.
	And it will help our relationship.
	But I don't think they lust until they're over 25.
	And then they really start getting good at it, if you will, in their 30s and 40s.
	So the only way you're going to get into 17-year-old's pants, and again, I'm only recommending this for 17-year-olds, is to pretend you love her and that you're the one and this is going to be special.
	And then once you get that over with, you can keep moving.
	I'm sorry.
	I know it's horrible, but it's the only way.
	And fathers, tell your daughters about this.
	Tell your daughters that not only do boys lie, but they lie to themselves.
	So I remember being that age, and when I told her that this is love and this is going to last, I meant it because I brainwashed myself.
	So, gentlemen, be ruthless, and ladies, be dubious.
	Now, when you get older, there's a whole other way to pick up chicks, and this is well documented in my hip movie, How to Be a Man.
	You have to be a fun guy, you call them up with something to do.
	Hey, we're at a party, we're going to a thing, there's always an event, so you're fun, but you don't want to end up in the friend zone.
	So, very early in the game, you have to establish, holy fuck, you're so fucking beautiful.
	I cannot believe it.
	You're my exact type.
	Like, you must have a flaw.
	Do you have like ugly feet or something?
	Because I'm looking at my type from the dictionary.
	And then once you've done that, then when you get her back to your house, you will just start hitting on her because you made it clear that was your intention from the beginning.
	The worst part about just, hey man, everything's cool.
	I don't want to necessarily want to fuck you.
	I'm just a buddy.
	The problem with that attitude when you go 100% that way is you get her back to your house and you're laughing.
	And then you come like, and she just naturally sort of goes, it sucks, and you need to avoid it.
	All right, next letter.
	Joni Mitchell in Blackface.
	Gavin, the exchange with you and Ryan about Joni Mitchell's Blackface Nom de Plume was unintentionally hilarious.
	Oh well, I'll take it.
	Art Nouveau is apparently the actual name Joni chose for her alter ego.
	So Ryan, while habitually in the fog, had it right when he cited it to you.
	Your insistence that he was wrong and your attempt to educate him on movements in schools of art just piled on the comedy.
	It's a great routine.
	You guys need to keep this one going.
	Ryan?
	Yes.
	You said that that character's name is Art Nouveau.
	Yes.
	told you you were wrong.
	And it turns out that I was in fact whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
	You were just about to apologize.
	happened?
	I...
	Yes?
	Was...
	Okay, we got that for our last time.
	Rawr.
	You can't say that you're wrong?
	I can and I will.
	I will proudly admit to the folks at home and to you that I was...
	You holding back a sneeze?
	You're roaring like a dino.
	Like a dinosaur.
	Now you're retching.
	I just dry heaved for real.
	That's real brazen.
	Can you find this font saying he's wrong?
	Oh, I said it.
	I'm going to have to edit that together.
	I'm going to have to patch that.
	Edit that in post.
	Yes.
	Nice catch.
	I was sure it was zip something.
	Gavin, the exchange with you and Ryan about Oh wait, Maryse, read that one.
	I was in.
	I was not exactly right.
	What do you mean not right?
	I mean not right.
	I don't get you.
	You mean you were wrong?
	You can't even hear it.
	Yeah, that's right, Malf.
	I was what you just said I was.
	You know what he was wrong about?
	What?
	He told Ralph Malf to join the army and go fight in the Korean War.
	He almost killed Ralph Malf.
	Hey, G-Dog, I know it liked to joke that Ryan is a fag because he cries over you breaking his Buzz Lightyear dolly, but I was watching some of your old videos for the Rebel, and it sounds like you used to think he was actually gay.
	See the link below.
	I remember this.
	A semi-reach out from David Cross's wife, Amber Tamblin, and during the whole incident on the bus, the vulgar joke on the bus.
	And she goes, how do you feel living in Trump's America?
	I think she did an article recently where she goes, raising a daughter in Trump's America makes me more resolute feminist or something.
	I said, it's just a joke.
	And she goes, but you have a daughter, has someone with a daughter, and that makes me blow my top.
	It's a good idea.
	945, I'm asking.
	And I think that's part of what they're trying to do.
	Why was it time coded completely different places?
	Oh, I see, okay.
	I see him every day at work.
	He's a wonderful dude.
	And I've got all my proud boy pals like Dante Nero, John Thaddeus, Hassan, Yosef, Amish Patel, my Muslim pals, Ali Hassan, my gay pals, Pax Hart and Chadwick Moore, Ryan Katsu Rivera, and of course Milo.
	I can't list any more celebrities.
	That's really annoying graphics.
	Yeah, who did that?
	I think that was John Fattygate back in the day.
	Was it Fattygate or was it?
	That's a compound.
	So John...
	Sereno.
	Sereno, yeah.
	Johnny Sereno.
	You know what's weird?
	I assume that was just kidding.
	Yeah.
	I don't even remember that.
	You don't?
	Yeah, I brought it up to you before, but no, it was actually said in joke form.
	It's like the rule of threes.
	It's like, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, da, ba, ba.
	And then you cover it up with another one.
	But yeah, I guess people.
	I think I was joking.
	I don't remember.
	It hurts my feelings.
	I don't remember ever thinking you were gay.
	Right.
	So I think I was just making fun of you.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I thought that was fun.
	But it went past my radar and somebody brought it up to me, and I laughed very hard at that.
	Hey, Gavin, whiskey has been my drink of choice the last couple years, and I need some tips from the expert.
	Is it gay to get the one big ice cube when drinking a whiskey on the rocks?
	No, it is not gay.
	It's actually much more convenient because the ice cube goes, touches your mustache, and then you can just...
	I'm dying for a drink or a cigar or something.
	That just made me drool.
	You know, the other end of the spectrum is a bunch of little ice, and that mixes with your drink.
	It dilutes it, and then it gets in your mouth when you sip it.
	You got to have little lips.
	So yeah, the bigger the better.
	Why drink Makersmark over Woodford Reserve or Bullet?
	I find them all equally good.
	I find Maker's Mark's a little sweeter, but Woodford Reserve is fantastic, and so is Bullet.
	Although I don't like the Bullet Rye.
	I'm not a Rye guy.
	Does all Canadian whiskey suck?
	I don't know much about Canadian whiskey.
	I kind of got into bourbon after moving to the States, so I don't even know what Canadian whiskey is.
	What's Canadian whiskey?
	I believe Seagram's, Seagram 7.
	Oh yeah, that would come in that plush purple bag.
	We used to keep our marbles in that bag when we were kids.
	Wait, I think that's Crown Royal.
	Crown Royal, right?
	Hypothetical.
	You can drink for free for the rest of your life, but you can only drink blackberry margaritas.
	Would you take the deal?
	Absolutely not.
	First of all, I'm rich, so I don't care about money.
	But secondly, I have my drinks, and when they're not there, I just, Like my dad left two Coors Lights in the fridge, and I ran out of bud the other night, and I just saw them, and it might as well have been calm.
	I was just like, oh, well, I don't have any beer.
	Coors Light tastes to me like wet cardboard.
	And if I'm on a plane and I'm dying for a bourbon, they often have Woodford reserves, by the way.
	Yeah, they do.
	But I go, Can I get some bourbon?
	They go, We have Jack Daniels.
	No, thank you.
	I just won't drink.
	I used to love it.
	Yeah, I can't do it.
	I can't not have my drink.
	I'd rather do Jameson over Jack Daniels.
	I used to love Jack Daniels.
	All right, we're running out of time here.
	Let's just do one more.
	Hey, Gav, would you please address the fact that the Nazis were leftists?
	Yeah, I mean, I know that.
	And today with that anti-sorry, that white nationalist video, they're called the National Socialists.
	And the Department of Homeland Security's takeaway is the nationalist part.
	Why does anyone talk about the socialist part?
	I'm so tired of left-wing SGWs labeling regular Republicans as Nazis.
	They really go to their way to portray us this way with the fake Zeke Heil photos.
	I think Antifa needs to be shown the mirror.
	Here's a good pre-Trump article that seems to get more accurate over time.
	And it was Obama, Hitler, and the exploding, and exploding the biggest lie in history.
	Of course, Dinesh D'Souza is the master at this.
	And wasn't it a Republican Party that freed the slaves?
	I like you more than a friend, Chris.
	Yeah.
	Okay, let's end the show, guys.
	Should we do the black man seeing fried chicken or the couple banging in the tub?
	Let's do both.
	Yeah, these are cool.
	Now, imagine Fox News did this.
	They did, and CNN did, and that's why it's not ever going to go anywhere.
	But CNN, I like when my head is in this box.
	CNN had a black guy on the show, and they decided it would be a good time to show him some fried chicken.
	No way.
	Hillary Clinton says that Trump's campaign is appealing to a fringe in the Republican Party that is racist.
	I wanted to listen to part of her speech with you and then get your reaction.
	So here it is.
	Shoot.
	I am the extra Whoa.
	And my extra crispy And he says, extra crispy cake.
	Absolutely not.
	We were going to play them.
	He said, I'm the crispy, extra crispy curler.
	Same guy that another viewer asked us about if it was racist because they colored his skin darker.
	Yeah, and they said he's extra crispy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That is hilarious.
	I think Joe brought that up.
	It was MSNBC, not CNN.
	But yeah, you could never, if Fox News did that, you'd never hear the end of it.
	Remember when the Straight Pride Parade guy said, we are racist instead of not racist?
	He made a typo, and it was a Twitter moment, and everyone was like, that was the biggest publicity they got.
	This goes back to what I'm saying about politics as fashion.
	They don't care about the truth.
	It's just about their team winning.
	It's got nothing to do with politics.
	It has everything to do with trends and what's hot.
	And right now it's hot to pretend everyone is a fucking not.
	See?
	All right, let's see.
	Watch some couple banging.
	Oh, warning, by the way.
	X-rated stuff coming up.
	What the frick?
	What's the matter?
	It won't load?
	I'm seeing a new load.
	Oh, because it's pornographic?
	I don't know.
	I've seen porn.
	Yeah, I've seen pornographers.
	This is strange.
	It was working before.
	They moved.
	Is it taking it down?
	So it was an office, and across the way, they could see a couple in their bathroom, and they were having sex with the curtains open, and you could see the guy shagging it from behind, and they were all laughing their heads off in the office.
	That happened to me once.
	We were shooting a movie, my movie that's, oh, it was Creative Control.
	The movie Creative Control.
	We were shooting that movie, and we had to be there at like five in the morning on Saturday, and there was a guy who had come home from clubbing all night, and we watched him get fallated.
	He ate a cheeseburger, then she blew him under the table, and then he went to work, so I guess he didn't sleep at all.
	And she just lounged around his apartment.
	It was like a form of prostitution.
	I think I found it in a different area.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Let's see what you got.
	Come on, Johnny.
	They're laughing their heads off.
	I don't know if I would laugh.
	I think I would just sit there being a creep, staring.
	Going, oh, that's cool.
	Jesus, this is great.
	Are they exhibitionists, do you think?
	Or do they not know what's happening?
	I think they have to know that there's the risk of that happening.
	I've done that twice?
	Have you ever done something like that?
	Like with those big windows?
	No, that looks like a cool way to fornicate, though.
	Yeah.
	There's a day bed.
	There's a bathtub there.
	Oh, is that a bathtub?
	I thought there was a day bed.
	Well, no.
	Where's his legs?
	On the other side of the...
	Oh, yeah, he's sitting on a couch.
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	That's not as fun.
	Yeah.
	Man.
	Kind of an eventual position, though.
	That's fun.
	Because why would they have the bathtub right there with the...
	You should get fired.
	You should get in trouble.
	You should be brave.

▲