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Aug. 23, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:32:48

GOML LIVE #9 | ANTIFA DEATH TOLL

After laughing at a fat guy who thinks his moobs are sexy, we check in on antifa and how deeply ingrained in the system despite having a death toll that just hit 17. Then we take a bunch of calls and end with some viral videos including the manliest man in Britain.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	We're making boys generate some heat, and we never thought nothing about living on the street back then.
	Bye.
	There we go That's a record Ryan yeah, I'm trying to see what you don't even know what you did.
	- I had a fuck up six seconds into the show.
	I believe so.
	- Wow, that's a record.
	Press the button.
	- There we go.
	- Ooh.
	- That's a record, Ryan.
	- Yeah, I'm trying to see what the-- - You don't even know what you did.
	- Oh, no, I do, I do.
	- What'd you do? - I fucked up.
	Oh, that's clear.
	Yeah.
	But what did you do?
	Okay, well, there are these complex little settings that I got on the soundboard there.
	Yeah, complex to some.
	And what had happened was I pressed the wrong, it was on the wrong channel.
	So what did the people at home hear besides the music stop abruptly?
	I'm not sure.
	They might have heard no music.
	But in post, You know.
	This is live, retard.
	Yeah.
	That's the new name for the show.
	This is live, retard.
	This is live, retard.
	Hi, folks.
	What do you think of my new suit?
	Pretty cool, huh?
	Custom made by Nita Fashions.
	It even says my name.
	That's the kind of thing that's cool to get after you die.
	Like, cool from your dad.
	So my sons will get all these neat custom suits that have my name in them.
	Welcome back.
	We're back in Manhattan, back in NYC.
	Goddamn, it's hot.
	Wearing a suit in Manhattan is brutal.
	Wearing a suit in the subway in Manhattan is just interesting.
	It's like, it's a dare.
	It sucks balls, especially after being on the beach all week.
	And New Yorkers are hideous and they stink.
	What is with people stinking?
	I don't understand it.
	Why do you reek?
	Like, don't you smell yourself?
	I've stunk before.
	There's times when I go out and I go, oh no, I forgot to wear deodorant and I'm running around all day today.
	So you go to the bathroom of any establishment after you buy your fries or whatever.
	You go to the soap dispenser with a paper towel.
	And then you froth up your armpits.
	At least get the zing out.
	I'm confused by it.
	Sometimes I think people just don't have a sense of smell, because they're reeking up the entire train.
	This is why I have a mustache in New York City, because you can just go like that and it adds a whole filter system, a whole sort of walrus section that goes up your nose and it filters out the disgusting dead bum particles.
	And when I say dead bum, I mean dead skin cells on bums.
	And when I say dead skin cells on bums, I mean their actual buttocks.
	Anyway, that intro song, it's just been in my head all week.
	First day of summer.
	Even though we're coming to the end of summer.
	And who is it now?
	Tony Carey.
	Boy, music sucked back then.
	This is where you come from.
	You like this kind of music.
	Yeah, I can't believe you don't like it.
	Good.
	Turn it up.
	That's not true.
	Yeah, that's not even close to true.
	Unless you're a mass shooter.
	So he's stuck in the Arctic and then summer happens and all the chicks get hot.
	Oh look, that's a fat joke!
	Did you see that?
	The fatty jumps in the pool, drenches everyone, and water even comes shooting out of the TV.
	She's so fat.
	And by the way, by 2019 standards, she has anorexia.
	She's the tiniest woman I've seen all day.
	How are New Yorkers so fat?
	Maybe we should get back to cocaine.
	Because, yes, it made the music suck, and that song is terrible, and that guy is pure cocaine, by the way.
	You're looking at cocaine.
	All those guys are cocaine.
	They're not doing cocaine.
	You do them.
	Like it's taking over their DNA.
	If you were to take a sample of them, there's more cocaine in their system than there is water.
	There's 71% cocaine.
	- 91% cocaine. - They're fucking cool. - No, they're not. - Dude.
	Oh, man.
	You love the worst music in the world.
	I'm into retro stuff, I think.
	Yeah.
	Well, when we get back next week, I want to have, uh, we're going to do Ryan Week.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Oh, for music.
	All your terrible single mom Puerto Rican garbage.
	That's another idea for this show.
	Puerto Rican garbage?
	Yeah.
	Puerto Rican garbage.
	It's redundant, JK.
	That's terrible and I would never, ever... We've got a lot to talk about.
	Unfortunately, a lot of Proud Boys stuff still, but I'm sorry, but I started the organization and they're in the news.
	So, yeah.
	I remember CRTV used to beg me not to talk about them.
	Can we not do that?
	I don't know anything about them.
	I didn't sign a deal with them, I signed a deal with you.
	So I had to Trojan horse it in to avoid being fired.
	And that worked out great, didn't it?
	Didn't I do a good job of not getting fired from CRTV?
	Well, you didn't get fired from CRTV, you got fired from The Blaze.
	Yes, I guess that's true.
	Today in the paper, some junk mail and cursed at cops with dying breath.
	Thanks, liberals.
	Thanks, de Blasio.
	We have a crip who has shot a record.
	Record shooting!
	Baltimore, South Side of Chicago, and NYC are really doing a great job with the mass shootings.
	The mass shootings you don't hear about, which is the gangbangers.
	20 in America die every day.
	20 black men are murdered by black men every day, but we don't talk about that.
	We focus on some mentally ill weirdos.
	Which I'm happy to do, by the way, and we're gonna get to that in a second.
	But yeah, as he was dying, he's a crip, and as he was dying, he just said, nah man, fuck you.
	Those were his last words.
	And you know what the cops were trying to do?
	They were trying to hurt him.
	They were trying to find out where his family lives so they can go kill his family.
	No.
	They were trying to find out who killed him.
	Who killed you?
	Fuck you, pig!
	Alright.
	And you know what they intended to do after that?
	They go, sometimes these guys say, fuck you, pig.
	And then they go, wait a minute.
	The guy who killed me might kill the rest of my family.
	And then they're willing to talk at the hospital.
	But he died on the way.
	They shot him multiple times.
	Big shootings going on this week.
	And they shot him multiple times in multiple arteries.
	He was a crip.
	Now, you gotta be pretty weird.
	No offense, gangbangers.
	You gotta be pretty weird to be a Crip.
	I just got an alert, and I have to always be aware of these in case there's an emergency, because I'm under siege.
	And it says, GML Live has started.
	We're streaming.
	Okay, good.
	Thanks for the heads up.
	That's the app that I have.
	I have a beta of the app.
	We're currently about to get okayed with Apple.
	I hope.
	And we have it on Android, right?
	Yeah, it's out for Android.
	I don't know what Android is.
	It's the other, it's not the iPhone.
	I know, I know what it is.
	I tried to leave iPhone, I just am too stuck in my ways and I hate that I'm an Apple slave.
	But yeah, the crypts are pretty small in New York.
	There's bloods everywhere.
	And a great way to get initiated into the bloods, by the way, is to eat someone's lunch, which of course is colloquialism for slicing a stranger's face.
	Just cut them in the face.
	Why not?
	Of course, that'll be taken out of context and used in a court of law.
	Gavin McInnes told his followers to cut someone's face.
	And he said, Barack Obama is a monkey.
	How does that make you feel?
	They said, the DA said to the black guy conservative on the stand.
	He goes, not very good.
	No one brought up that I've never said that in my life, but now two men are facing 15 years in prison for being part of a hate group, and I'm already starting to boil alive.
	Heat-wise?
	Yeah.
	I thought that had something to do with some court lingo.
	Oh, I'm beyond anger with all this stuff.
	I'm, like, damaged.
	I don't believe in the world anymore.
	Okay, I'm gonna face the directional mic away from the AC.
	Turn on the AC.
	Okay.
	Let's punish.
	Sorry, folks, you don't like a hum?
	I don't like boiling alive in a suit.
	In Manhattan.
	I'm gonna fix the second camera.
	What's wrong with the second camera?
	You've been dilly-dallying all morning, giggling away at your own jokes, and we don't have the phone set up, you got the music wrong, and now the cameras aren't set up.
	You gotta get your priorities right.
	Giggle after the job is done.
	And it'll be a much better giggle.
	You know how when you build a fence, the beer is the most delicious beer you've ever had in your life?
	Right.
	Well, when you get your work done, your giggle will taste like a cold beer after a hard day's work.
	That's kind of fun.
	Alright, um, shall we just dive into it?
	We shall.
	I can kind of hear it.
	No, let's catch up on some stuff.
	I haven't seen you in, what, 10 days?
	Yeah.
	How was your vacation?
	Oh, it was really nice.
	A lot of family hanging out.
	Again, I am totally deaf in one ear.
	Yes.
	It's the ear nearest you.
	It's full of wax.
	I tried to fix it myself after bragging about home medicine, and I damaged the canal.
	So I can't get it irrigated until I fix it.
	So you'll have to speak very loudly.
	Well, it was really good.
	A lot of family time.
	Ate a lot of good stuff.
	I went with Jill for the first three days.
	And you paid for her!
	And then she left.
	You paid for her!
	You are such an imbecile!
	You paid for your lesbian friend to come by.
	What was that, $170?
	And you had to go visit her and spend time away from your family who you only see once a year.
	Well, the first day it was just her and I, and then they showed up later.
	And I got to have a friend, a good friend of mine.
	And I recorded some stuff out there and she helped me do it.
	A good friend of yours you see all the time!
	Yeah, but we don't get to hang out at this place.
	I go to this vacation spot all the time.
	It's my family, and then I'm just like, alright, when I want to get away from my family and just be like a kid, which I'm not, but it's just by myself.
	So it was fun to bring somebody to this place that I know so well and I'm so familiar with.
	It was very nice.
	It was worth it.
	I would bring you down there for $200.
	Why do I pay you money?
	You're $12,000 in debt.
	True.
	You're never going to get out of that debt if you keep buying friends.
	That sounds terrible.
	It was a good time.
	And she helped me film stuff.
	Film what stuff?
	Just some stuff.
	You know what I did?
	They have this old timey photos.
	You're familiar with that?
	Yeah, I'm familiar with those.
	And so what I did was I took a picture of her and I and I put them on like the demo picture and I went up to the guy and I was like, hey, I do this myself.
	And as he was talking to a family, trying to convince them to buy this old timey photo, I was like, guys, I do this for three dollars.
	Here's some of my work.
	And it's just like crudely my face on the thing.
	There's a little hidden camera video there.
	Sounds hilarious.
	And there's like a little quiz I did with her.
	It was, uh, it was really, it was really a nice time.
	Thanks for coming.
	How'd she get back?
	She drove back herself.
	Why wasn't that an option when we spoke about this earlier?
	For her to drive back by herself?
	Yeah, but then I would have come back on Wednesday.
	The whole idea- No, no, no.
	Why couldn't she drive back by herself when we first discussed this?
	Oh no, she always could have, but the idea that I would go with her, so that way I could work on Monday, but then it turns out that wasn't necessary.
	So.
	So how much did you pay?
	$170 for her to join you on vacation?
	$180.
	Yeah, and then, um, but we had this house for three nights.
	Like, this whole house.
	It was awesome.
	Yeah, and then you didn't see your cousins and your mother?
	Oh, I did.
	Oh, absolutely.
	Not as much as you're supposed to.
	No, we spent a lot of time together.
	We definitely did.
	We definitely did.
	And then we leave the house and we go to the hotel.
	I met up with the family there for a little bit.
	And then I had, I think, three whole days with my family just like regular.
	Alright, shut up.
	Have you been listening to my podcast?
	Yeah.
	Did I tell you about my Generation X theory?
	No.
	I'm worried I'm repeating myself.
	But I had an epiphany.
	We went to this Horse Rockin' Ranch for a couple days.
	A dude ranch.
	It's really cool.
	I forgot what it's called.
	Rockin' Horse Ranch or something?
	It's upstate.
	Oh, I know what you're talking about.
	It was started by this tiny little Jew who lived in the Lower East Side.
	This is back before it got Puerto Ricanized and it was mostly Hasids and Orthodox and secular Jews and They would sell ice cream with the horse and carriage.
	And the little guy's seven.
	This is probably like 1950?
	And the ice cream guy goes, here, you can ride this little guy.
	He rides a horse and he goes, fuck it, I'm a cowboy.
	Yeah, there it is.
	So he just becomes a cowboy.
	He buys all this land and it's kind of a lower middle class kind of a demographic.
	A lot of cops and firemen and stuff.
	Oh, that's what it must be in the winter.
	They still have that slide in the summer.
	It's kind of like hanging out at a really generous rich guy's house.
	Like, there's bouncy castles.
	There's that banana boat.
	I went water skiing.
	There's, uh... Like, he's just got checkerboards everywhere.
	And tons of water slides.
	And he doesn't oversell it.
	So there's always a chair.
	Like, we went to Atlantis one year, which was an upper-class vacation.
	And these fuckers will book their pool seat in the dark at 4.30 in the morning.
	They'll get up, put their towel on, and then go back to bed.
	So when you get there at 8, there's nowhere to sit.
	You feel like a weird refugee.
	Walking around there.
	And you have to sit like 50 feet from the pool.
	It sucks.
	But this place is awesome.
	And the food was delicious.
	But one thing I noticed about my fellow vacationers is pretty bad behavior.
	I gotta say.
	Like letting your kids look at their phone in the lobby for six hours in a row.
	Just all curled up in a ball, staring at her phone for six hours, I timed this one girl.
	She's probably 19.
	And then just grown men taking a nap on the couch in the lobby.
	Like they had this lizard guy show up.
	A lot of mentally, a lot of special needs people show up to touch the lizards.
	That doesn't sound very good.
	But uh, uh oh.
	I gotta make sure.
	Here, can you take this call and see if it's important?
	And I just, I noticed guys like, the lizard guy comes, right?
	So the lobby's busy.
	Everyone wants to see the lizard.
	And this, these adults are just napping.
	Just taking naps.
	Or, taking up a whole couch that the kids would like to sit on.
	Or, another time, we saw a, uh, a toddler walking through the lobby with just a diaper on.
	He's like two, a diaper, shoes, nothing else.
	And I hope I'm not making this horse rockin' ranch sound bad.
	This is a general thing I've noticed at every resort.
	And my wife goes, why would you have a kid in just a diaper?
	That's the cutest age to dress them up.
	You get a little like you get a onesie that has a fake overalls pattern on it or something or like even a tuxedo shirt.
	They're only that size for like a minute.
	So dress them in funny little pants and stuff.
	You get these red corduroy pants that have little buttons on them and then they got a t-shirt that says like here comes trouble with the lightning bolt.
	There's so many cool things you can do.
	And then the mother of that little boy, or whatever it was, is just wearing PJs, slippers, and her pendulous breasts are gone.
	There's zero meat in them.
	They hang down to here.
	She's my age, maybe younger.
	No, she's younger.
	Maybe she's like 34.
	And she's got a v-neck t-shirt that has this same v. So you see all the long line of the cleavage, you know what I mean?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I just felt like I could reach in and just pull out her dead pancake of a tit.
	And I'm like, what's with everyone?
	And the men with their moobs and wearing the swim shirts because they're embarrassed of their bodies.
	And then it hit me.
	I see all these people as old people, but they're probably younger than me.
	They're my generation.
	Generation X. They're the children of divorce.
	So they don't know how to behave.
	Because they grew up with a mother and father who said, yeah, go ahead, do whatever you want.
	And the single mom, they were latchkey kids.
	I was the first generation to come home with no parents, right?
	Because they're both at work.
	So you watch the Honeymooners or some stupid, shitty Flintstones show.
	and you eat snacks uh and then when you visit the dad he's like hey let's have fun yeah have all the shitty food you want do whatever you want stay up all night my house is the party house your mother she's the bummer she's the bitch i'm the fun guy so they end up spoiled and unable to behave why are you showing footage of this ranch just to yourself well i'm just waiting for it to be Because you're making a good point, so I don't want to like dilute it with just rocket slides or whatever the fuck that is.
	Dilute it?
	Dilute it.
	Dilute it.
	Yeah, go ahead, dilute away.
	It's better than just staring at my fucking head all... So...
	It hit me that my generation, Generation X, doesn't know how to behave because they grew up with divorce, and that might also be the impetus for the obesity epidemic.
	You get to snack whenever you want.
	Here, go have a giant soda, kids.
	We're at Dad's house, we're at Fun House.
	And then you have kids, Gen X, and you go, I don't know what discipline is.
	I let my kid just wear diapers.
	I let my daughter get a neck tattoo.
	There's no rules here.
	The death of the family is also the death of rules.
	And that's why everyone is such a fat pig.
	And that's why no one in my generation knows how to behave.
	It's not malicious.
	It's not that they're dicks.
	They're just clueless.
	I like to let a point sit for a bit.
	Yeah, that is good.
	Alright, let's get down to the news, but before we do, let's look at this smoking hot dude.
	Speaking of no rules, this is a gay Hispanic gentleman?
	I just discovered him while I was looking up fat people.
	And he calls himself a plus size model.
	He's size quadruple XL.
	And as often happens when men get incredibly fat, they grow gigantic breasts.
	So instead of him, and I can show this on the show, because it's a topless man, instead of him going, uh-oh, I should probably get it together, maybe do one push-up a year, he accepts that he has triple D's.
	So he wears brassieres.
	This picture's my favorite.
	Because gays are so horny that that's a thing.
	Like, he gets worshipped.
	Someone puts butter and oil on that big gunt of his and washes it.
	So he's a plus-size model in this era where model just means I post her pictures and put them on Instagram.
	That looks exactly like Anthony Zenhauser.
	Who's that?
	He's from the Creepy Corner Show.
	I don't care.
	When everyone is racist, no one is racist.
	When everything is beautiful, no one is beautiful.
	Speaking of dilution, we have diluted beauty down to... Don't show him, I don't care.
	We have diluted Beauty down to nothing.
	If this guy and his giant tits are sexy, then nothing is.
	Look at him!
	Look at him.
	And the crazy part is, if you could put those boobs on a normal chick, they're kind of nice.
	They could be, yeah, they could redeem a, like a five into like maybe a six round.
	The only thing worse than a man having tits is a man having good tits.
	The better tits you have as a man, the worse they are.
	That makes sense.
	Dude, and it's, you know, the aesthetic with fat, disgusting pigs being unattractive is biological.
	You're dying.
	Oh, I meant to do this.
	I was thinking about this at the Mets game last night, which was fucking awesome.
	I spent the whole time talking to God and saying, look dude, we have guys facing 15 years in prison.
	I'm not going to waste your time with some dumb prayer.
	I know you don't get involved in sports.
	You shouldn't be involved in sports.
	However, we're in the 10th inning.
	It's tied.
	A big hit could get Rosario Dawson off a third and we would win this game and we'd have a chance at the wild card.
	So if on the off chance you're bored and there's no starving children in Africa, could you just sort of The throw is an easy one.
	A softball.
	God has to have a sense of humor.
	It's one of the great things about humanity.
	I want to devote a whole episode to should you pray for sports.
	Because Ron Coleman, the lawyer that's helped me fight the SPLC, he says yes.
	He says God sweats the small stuff.
	I don't agree.
	I'm more of a deist who says God pushed the first domino, knowing where it would end up, but you can still blow your head off.
	You have free will.
	That being said, you are who you are from birth.
	So I could have been adopted by Chinese people and right now I'd have a podcast where I'd be like, Welcome back to the White Chinaman.
	Do you know what means?
	Booyah nigga.
	Yeah.
	Do you know what booyah nigga means?
	That means something what?
	Nigga is that.
	Oh, gotcha, go ahead.
	Booyah means no.
	So, last time I was there, they were trying to sell us all these fake watches and stuff, and me and this guy Jake were just, booyah nigga, booyah nigga, booyah nigga.
	That's gotta be fun.
	I heard stand-up comic ones go, I don't like Chinese.
	I don't like Chinese people.
	You know why?
	Because they say nigga all the time.
	They're racist.
	Yeah.
	I heard a funny joke about Japanese people, and it's such, it's such like a Brian Regan clean comedy joke, but it's like, everything, the verb is always at the end, so it's like, this hat I was buying.
	So a lot of times you find out what's going on at the end of the sentence, so that's why Japanese people listen like this, they go, oh.
	Oh!
	I was like, this is pretty damn good.
	I don't know what's racist anymore.
	No, me neither.
	I wonder if, like, before this whole thing happened, was there things that I actually thought were racist?
	Oh, that's a good question.
	I'm glad you brought that up, too.
	Because I was talking to a friend in LA, and I said, remember hipster racism was a thing when girls, when Lena Dunham first came out with girls, like in 2009?
	And she goes, yeah, sometimes I think I was a hipster racist.
	And I go, oh, that's nice.
	I'm talking to someone who joined a cult.
	You're a Scientologist now?
	And she goes, no, think about it.
	There was a lot of really bad racism in Hollywood, even going back to when we grew up.
	Can you give me an example?
	And she goes, 16 Candles, that Chinese guy.
	Long duck dong.
	Yeah, look him up.
	Yeah.
	Long duck dong.
	Every time he came on, a big, what do you call those, gong?
	Gong.
	A gong.
	A gong would go, dong, ding, dong, ding, ding, dong, dong.
	And I think that you'll find a montage on YouTube.
	Now, this is gonna sound mental patient-y, but how is that racist?
	It's not.
	It's a cartoon.
	Right?
	Here, turn it up.
	for my deaf ear.
	He's... - Very clever dinner.
	He's an exchange student.
	I can't hear a thing.
	I don't know about you.
	You're literally tripping over all the garbage by your desk.
	I love visiting with grandma and grandpa and writing letters to parents and pushing lawn mowing machines so grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed.
	Hernia!
	He gets a hot chick in the movie.
	Now, yes, it's an exaggeration.
	It's stereotypical.
	When I talk to people in LA about this, by the way, this is one of the cases where when you say it to people, lefties, they go, I can't tell if you're kidding or not.
	How can you not see how racist that is?
	But let me give you an example.
	Say there was a Scottish foreign exchange student, right?
	And he had a tartan tam on with a pom-pom on the top.
	And he always had a bottle of whiskey with him.
	And every time he showed up at the dinner table, it was like, bagpipes going, And he's like, hey, see these people?
	I want haggis!
	And he's always banging the table and yelling at people.
	Would that be racist?
	It's a cartoon exaggeration of the culture used for comedic purposes.
	Yeah.
	This really, I know this sounds stupid, but this long duck dong and 16 candles is really the ground zero of defining racism.
	I don't think it's racist.
	I think it's funny, and by the way, I guarantee you, you show that to every single person in China, and they all go, ha ha ha, he is a funny guy.
	Asians love Asian jokes and stuff like that.
	Because it's true.
	Everyone does.
	Not black Americans, but you do like a sombrero joke to someone in Mexico, they go, oh cool, you're wearing our hats.
	You know what we're, yeah yeah yeah, they like to be recognized.
	You're into our stuff.
	I told my dad the L-R thing.
	He's like, you know... What's the L-R thing?
	What left and right is?
	No, Japanese people, they can't pronounce their L's, so they say it like an R. And he goes, I'm sorry, I don't understand.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, he goes, oh no, I don't know.
	I was like, you never heard that before?
	How could you not know that?
	I know, I was like, he's in LA, so maybe people are too polite to bring that up or something.
	He doesn't watch TV, so he doesn't hear people go, so sorry.
	He doesn't watch In Hot Water, so he'd be shocked.
	So I told him, I was like, he's like, I don't know.
	I was like, well, say my name.
	He's like, Ryan.
	I was like, now say, like, ah, the animal, like a lion.
	He's like, a lion.
	Oh.
	And then he understood.
	Holy shit!
	That's the same word.
	What is he, like, 55 years old?
	He's just learning that now?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	See, that's probably racist.
	All right, so that brings me to the Griffin.
	There's this restaurant in Atwater Village, which is a great place to live in.
	I hate LA.
	Hate it.
	But if you have to move there, go to Atwater Village.
	At least there's like one tree.
	So Proud Boys, this is like a couple years ago now, I think?
	They go, let's go get a beer.
	All right, we'll go to the Griffin.
	Multiracial group, right?
	Lots of, in fact, I believe this night there was more browns than there were whites.
	So they go there, and they're having a quiet little meet-up in the corner.
	Cheers!
	Yeah, America!
	They're not like, USA!
	USA!
	They're just chilling out.
	And I think Tim Heidecker, one of the Tim and Eric guys, and some comedian who made a lot of money in the lottery, literally, and has nothing to do, decides, oh my god, there's a Nazi rally at the Griffin.
	So they call their beta troops, and again, As the New York Post pointed out, all of this is just about masculinity.
	It's not about fascism.
	It's not about white supremacy.
	It's not about anti-semitism.
	It's not about homophobia.
	It's not about Islamophobia.
	It's about betas versus alphas.
	Same with the mods and the rockers.
	Same with the punks and the skinheads.
	Same with the movie Animal House.
	It's all alphas versus betas.
	Actually, the Animal House is probably not a good example of that because they were both pretty alpha.
	Any his, So this crew shows up and says, you're having a Nazi rally.
	And then the bouncer goes, what are you talking about?
	And the guy goes, those guys over there, they are white nationalists.
	And the bouncer goes, wait, wait a minute.
	There's a lot.
	Hold on a second.
	You may have noticed my pocket square keeps sinking.
	Here's a handy tip.
	Take out your pocket square.
	And this, by the way, is made from, I think, Michaels of London.
	It's just a cuff of a sleeve folded and stitched together.
	Get something like a tissue, or as we say in Canada, a serviette.
	Stuff that into your pocket.
	Crunch it down so it doesn't bulge.
	And now, this has nowhere to fall to.
	It's a little high.
	There.
	Now if that syncs at any point during the show, don't listen to anything I say ever, including Barack Obama being a monkey.
	Never said that.
	So anyway, the bouncer, when he's instructed to get rid of these evil people, he goes, wait a minute, there's lots of black guys and stuff there, right?
	And then the guy goes, why are you defending them?
	And he goes, and then the bouncer freaks out himself, and he goes, I don't know why I'm defending them!
	I don't even know these guys!
	In a panic, right?
	And so they go, get out of here!
	So the bouncer was mad at himself for saying, why am I defending these guys?
	And pointing out that there's lots of black and brown people in this group that you just called white nationalists.
	He's mad at himself for questioning the narrative, right?
	So you think, well, that's peak clown world.
	They get kicked out.
	I managed to raise $5,000 to file a complaint against the Griffin.
	Before kicking someone out based on their political affiliations.
	The law in California is actually incredibly strong when it comes to this.
	You know why?
	Because back during the McCarthyism days, communists were getting kicked out of restaurants and being denied service.
	So the commies in the legislature came out with a law that said you can't you can't deny anyone service in California if they have political beliefs that you disagree with.
	So it was designed for commies, but the only time I think it's been used was a Nazi.
	Not a proud boy, a bonafide Nazi.
	He had a big pin on his shirt that had a swastika on it, and he wanted to eat at some diner.
	They said no, and they begged him, just take off the pin.
	And he was probably a mentally ill weirdo.
	And he said, no, I'm not taking it off.
	So he sued and won.
	That's easy.
	Precedent set.
	Wrote it up.
	Let's fuck with the Griffin for this bullshit.
	We've been forced into lawfare.
	You see what happens when we try to get physical and take care of it on our own.
	We end up with 15 years in prison.
	Okay, let's do lawfare.
	SPLC, I'll see you in court.
	No lawyer, I paid the money, had the complaint, all you had to do was file it.
	Now it was written up in DC, so it has to be filed in the district that the event happened in.
	Not one lawyer in that entire area would dare have their name on the case.
	So the complaint's just sitting there rotting.
	Okay, well I guess the Griffin won.
	It gets crazier.
	The Griffin was so ashamed of themselves for not kicking the Proud Boys out sooner, huh, that it shut the restaurant down for a few days.
	Then it had a benefit for the SPLC to fight racism.
	Yeah, there it is.
	You know what the takeaway was?
	After all of this, the Griffin's a Nazi place.
	Dude, is this crazier than blacks in the 1950s?
	Sorry, you had Negras at your place.
	No, but we kicked them out immediately.
	Too late.
	You got Negra germs all over your chairs.
	We're not letting anyone go in there.
	Shut it down, boys.
	They allow Negras.
	You should have seen them coming.
	And wait a minute, the guys were black.
	So is that, yeah.
	So yeah, an impromptu meeting of far-right group, and they're not far-right.
	If you're against the drug war and you're pro-gay marriage, then you're not far-right.
	Led to a ruckus at the bar, which led to a cavalcade of negative attention for the bar.
	Some felt that the ownership and management didn't go far enough to disavow the group, both at the moment and in the immediate aftermath, even after the Griffin closed for a time and reopened with a charity event to benefit the SPLC and several local charities.
	Now those same owners have sold off the Griffin to a first-time bar and restaurant group with long ties to Los Angeles and the music industry.
	While they won't be immediately changing the property, the plan is to eventually close and reopen as Moon Room.
	How about you call the fucking place Clown World, you losers?
	That is bananas.
	What a sin!
	See, this is why I keep comparing Antifa and the left in general to ISIS, to radical Islam.
	They're insatiable.
	We gave Islam Pakistan.
	We chopped off India's head and said, here, have Pakistan.
	Pakistan's a hellhole where more Muslims get murdered than anywhere else in the world.
	It's incredibly dangerous to be Muslim in that Muslim country.
	No one kills more Muslims than Muslims.
	Saudi Arabia.
	I'm wearing a burqa.
	I'm on your side.
	I agree with you.
	I hate that women look slutty.
	No, your burqa's wrong.
	They're insatiable.
	And that's because the thing that they're demanding, they don't really believe in.
	They just want power and control.
	That's why we keep hearing about fascism and white supremacy and all this stupid crap.
	It's not about that.
	It's about, I want to dominate you.
	So I'm just going to yell the word Nazi.
	I don't really mean it.
	Which is why I had an epiphany at the Mets game yesterday.
	The singer of Bad Religion was there, and I saw his wife.
	She's got a huge pair of jugs.
	Nice.
	She's very attractive.
	I don't want to fuck someone like that in the summer.
	Why?
	Too hot.
	Big boobs all sweaty in your face.
	Yeah, the heat.
	But in January, after a hard day's work and some soup, You really want some big bazoombas.
	Anyway, she was sitting next to, maybe look up him at the Mets game?
	I don't know if they have footage of that.
	Greg Graffin.
	And she had a Bernie shirt on and I thought, I don't hate Bernie supporters.
	Yes, socialism is a scourge.
	Socialism is why Venezuela is a hellhole.
	And it ruins countries, it gets people killed, and the whole concept of taking someone else's money because you decide how you're going to control equality, that pisses me off.
	But at least they don't bullshit about fascism all the time.
	I know Bernie said racism and Trump is a racist a couple times, whatever.
	For the most part, Bernie bros are about policy and not identity politics.
	And I kind of respect that.
	Now I think they're wrong, but at least they're being sincere.
	At least Bernie isn't a liar.
	And that's pretty fucking rare.
	Kamala Harris pretending that she's an African-American, Cory Booker speaking Hispanics, speaking Spanish, sorry, at rallies.
	They're all phonies.
	Oh look, he's got a Fred on.
	So I kind of like Bernie supporters.
	And you go, but he wants to empty our bank accounts.
	Yeah, so do...
	The DNC, I mean, they're calling themselves democratic socialists.
	The Squad is just as socialist as Bernie and where Bernie wants to tax you, they want to take money for reparations and various, you know, enforcement agencies.
	Various studies to take away your guns.
	All right.
	We're going to take calls relatively soon.
	I'm already losing my voice.
	I guess the larynx is like a muscle, and if you don't use it, it starts to wear out.
	That is really true, yeah.
	But this is cool.
	Ben Shapiro, I know you're not listening, but if someone can get this message to him.
	Ben, scream into a pillow for one hour before every show.
	You need to lose that Stuart Little voice.
	I don't actually know what you're talking about.
	Apparently, President Trump has changed my voice into a... I don't have any content, but I think I do sound like that.
	Does that sound like him?
	That's okay.
	Ben, doing a Ben Shapiro is like doing an Alex Jones.
	Yeah, it's kinda hacky.
	It is a little hacky.
	Oh, speaking of which, do you think that the Jordan Peterson thing we heard?
	You wanna play that?
	Okay.
	Somebody sent this in, and I can't tell, I think it's 100% Jordan Peterson.
	I, via one of these cameo things.
	So let's see.
	Yeah.
	I just wanted to say that I'm extremely proud of you for bringing Ryan back onto the show.
	To be quite honest, I stopped watching when you decided to part ways with him.
	I'm glad you did the right thing.
	Uhuru.
	That's pretty good.
	I think that's him, though.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm learning, too, about that?
	When you do your Jordan Peterson, you gotta be more gravelly.
	Exactly.
	Yes.
	A hundred percent.
	Yep.
	I'm trying to see who sent that in.
	Noah sent that in.
	Thanks Noah.
	Okay, um... I have to try to be a little more gravelly.
	So I realized something.
	Remember that video I did?
	I did on the 17th of July, Get Off My Lawn, episode 38, it's called Choosing Targets, and I listed seven lives destroyed by Antifa.
	Because the running trope with the alt-left is, you guys killed Heather Hoyer, we haven't killed anyone.
	Which, by the way, in a world where we have 20 black men dying every day, 500,000 obesity epidemic-related deaths, And a hundred opioids a day.
	Here's a really stupid question that I have to use a calculator for because I was thinking about this.
	What's worse?
	Because I was thinking fat people are like junkies, right?
	They're both killing themselves.
	We have a hundred opioid ODs a day times 365.
	I'm embarrassed to be doing this in a calculator.
	So that's only 36,500.
	So, obesity is ten times worse than being a heroin addict.
	Damn.
	Obesity is 10 times worse than being a heroin addict.
	Can we stop applauding junkies?
	They're food addicts.
	It's like when Big A broke Anthony's $200 chair at his house.
	Anthony goes, how is that different from some junkie wrecking part of my house with his addiction?
	Interesting.
	I used to hang out with a fat guy named Fat Peter.
	There's certain furniture he couldn't sit on.
	So you'd just be standing around, like when you went to someone's parents' house, and they had nice dining room chairs, so you'd just have to stand around, because he knew he would destroy it.
	Or, at that horse rocking ranch, there was this insanely fat pig, like this fat, and she got on a horse, and I swear I could see the legs starting to bend.
	And so the guys went, uh, get her off, and I didn't see her again.
	I guess they didn't have a Clydesdale that could handle her.
	I'm not joking!
	You didn't see her or that horse ever again?
	I saw a truck from a glue factory reverse into the ranch.
	And then exchange money.
	Isn't it cool that little Jewish guy became a cowboy for real?
	Like he spent his days galloping around that ranch.
	Oh, and I heard some gossip about him.
	It's a family place now run by his son, Steve.
	But in the 80s, I met some old fogies there who were like, whoo, this place in the 80s.
	There was cocaine, orgies.
	The boomers knew how to party.
	I will give them that.
	They don't know how to stop partying, I think.
	They're very good at self-indulgence.
	A lot of boomers are still partying out there, man.
	A lot of them are Sephardic now?
	They converted to Sephardic Judaism?
	I don't think you convert to Sephardic.
	What did I say?
	I can't hear, I have wax in my ears.
	Oh, I said they're still partying, man.
	Anyway, there was this guy in Wildwood who used to come around the hotel and just bring coke.
	He looked like old Egon from Ghostbusters.
	Every year.
	How many guys are in jail because of fucking coke?
	You know how many people are regularly using cocaine right now in America?
	7 million.
	Now, if you were to tally up how many have done it, what would you say?
	It gets weird with the Rust Belt and the Midwest, and Southerners tend to prefer meth to coke.
	But as far as coastal towns, like New Yorkers, how many New Yorkers have done coke?
	I gotta say it's 1 in 2.
	1 in 2 is a bit... I'd say 1 in 3 is close.
	Here's how you show it.
	Say you were at a party, and you said, hey, I got coke.
	Like, at a 35-year-old's party.
	Maybe it's just my world, and I don't do coke, but maybe it's just where I grew up, but that person would be like, oh, okay, I guess they're gonna be doing coke over there.
	Like, if you walked into the bathroom at a bar, that's a better example, in Manhattan, and there was guys going, would you go, oh my lord!
	Like, I would if they were shooting up heroin.
	I'd go, Jesus Christ!
	The fuck, there's people doing heroin in the bathroom!
	Yeah.
	But if I walked in and people were doing coke, I'd go, oops, sorry.
	It would be the same as if I saw some chick blowing a dude.
	I'd go, whoopsie daisy.
	Yeah, there's really nothing to see there.
	It's none of my beeswax.
	Nothing weird going on there.
	It's just fellatio.
	There we go.
	Of course, when you see a rock star die on a Friday night at 3am, it's pretty suspicious.
	Like Joe Strummer, John Peel, John Entwistle.
	I think they died of doing this too late and this little ticker couldn't keep up.
	Just a theory.
	It's hard to find that stat.
	That's hard.
	What?
	That's hard to find that stat.
	Alright, let's look at this new Antifa death toll, because on the 17th of July, I calculated four deaths directly related to Antifa.
	I blame them for Heather Heyer's death, They spooked that lunatic James Fields into driving into the crowd.
	Also, why did you bring Heather Heyer there?
	Why did you bring an overweight girl in flip-flops and tights to what you say is a huge riot?
	I remember I saw one thing with demonstrators fighting Antifa, and Antifa said to the Patriots, they go, look at you, you're all dudes!
	And the guy goes, yeah, we're at a fight.
	Why did you bring girls to a fight?
	Like, imagine the 1950s with the rumbles and the, you know, they had the chains and stuff and the rumble seat in the back of the T-Bird.
	Why would you bring girls to that?
	Hey, you in the poodle skirt and the two-tone shoes, get over here with your cashmere sweater on.
	We're brawling!
	So Heather Hires won.
	Nathan Hose was this guy who, in New Orleans, who, a sad lost soul, probably a junkie.
	He killed himself after he faced riot charges for a Disrupt J20 thing that Antifa got him into.
	And then, of course, Pim Fortin, in Europe, who was murdered, gay guy who was anti-immigration, murdered by Antifa.
	That's just the actual deaths, right?
	Yeah, that's Nathan Hose.
	There he is.
	This is what they do.
	They find someone whose dad recently died.
	And, uh... And they prey on them.
	They all seem to look like that, too.
	That last picture you showed.
	That poor kid.
	But not the one when he has facial hair.
	But above.
	No, not that one.
	The other one.
	This one.
	That one.
	They're the same guy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They grow facial hair after they join the cult.
	But I forgot one.
	Uh, there was the shooter guy who went to the ICE facility.
	No, no, I'll get to that.
	Oh, sorry.
	Oh, wait.
	What shooter?
	Oh, yeah, I forgot all about him!
	Yeah, yeah.
	Pim Fortune was the guy who was killed by Antifa, not from being in Antifa.
	Right, but I'm lumping them together.
	See, this is what I want to do.
	If you kill yourself because you were following Antifa's propaganda, you're a victim of Antifa.
	It's just like the Muslims in Pakistan killed by Muslims.
	No one kills more Antifa than Antifa.
	But yeah, you're right.
	There was the ice shooter.
	I forgot all about him.
	Willem... Willem... Van Spronson.
	I gotta do a free speech presents on this.
	Alright.
	So, that brings us to four, five, and then six.
	Charles Landeros.
	This is, how is this for irony?
	He helps Antifa train with guns in Oregon and he's all about smashing the patriarchy and he begins by smashing the patriarch himself by fucking with cops until they shoot him in the head.
	He's going through a custody battle with his wife.
	I mean, he's the patriarch of the family, and his family fell apart, so he smashed the patriarchy.
	And then to truly smash it, he messes with the cops, resists arrest, pulls a gun on them, and they shoot him.
	And his shirt says, smash the patriarchy and chill.
	Then he gets himself killed, the patriarchy, and he's dead, which is the ultimate chill, right?
	Beware of people's shirts when they say, kill dads and stop moving.
	So he's yelling at them, screaming at them, refusing, and he's armed.
	Oh no.
	Oh no.
	Look, you see that?
	They got in a lot of trouble for this before the video came out.
	And you see as he's going down, you see him with his gun like that.
	Damn.
	Shot him in the head, dead.
	Sheesh.
	Charles Landeros, 30, was fatally shot in the head by Officer Steve Tim at the middle school of his daughter.
	At the time of the shooting, the leader of the Antifa militant group Red Arm and founder of Community Arm Self-Defense was at the middle school resisting arrest.
	So now we're up to six.
	That was... Number seven, Connor Betts, the Daytona, Ohio shooter, was an Antifa guy.
	I know this sounds crazy to call a mass murder a victim, but in a sense, he was a victim of the brainwashing that goes on with this crazy alt-left bullshit.
	There's Nazis everywhere stuff.
	ICE people are Nazis.
	So they're Antifa's first mass killer, which brings us to 7 to 17, the 10 people he murdered.
	Show their faces?
	We don't talk about the victims enough.
	We always talk about the shooter, and he gets his fame, which is often what he's going for.
	But we don't talk about the dead bodies.
	Was that the Moira?
	No.
	It says plus 10 after Conor Betts.
	1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000, 4, 1,000, 5, 1,000, 6, 1,000, 7, 1,000.
	Oh, yeah, wait, wait.
	Oh, OK.
	There we go.
	So let's read their names.
	All right.
	- Five, 1,000, six, 1,000, seven, 1,000.
	Oh yeah, wait, wait, wait, okay, there we go. - So let's read their names. - All right. - We have Megan Betts.
	Wait, are they related?
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	Oh yeah, his sister was in the crowd.
	Wowie.
	And I think that was purely coincidental.
	Holy crap.
	By the way, notice all the people of color who were killed by this Antifa guy.
	Right, Megan Betts, Monica Brickhouse, Nicholas Cumer, Derek Fudge, Thomas McNichols, Lois Elglesby, Saeed Saleh, Logan Turner, and Beatrice Warren-Curtis.
	Huge variety.
	Now, I won't get too into, I've been looking into the Proud Boys fight.
	Do you remember this?
	Actually, go back to show John Zeig-Heiling.
	It's at the top of the notes.
	It's pretty fucking mental.
	So, Proud Boys, the day they were awaiting, or before they were awaiting sentencing, the paparazzi kept taking pictures of John.
	What's his name again?
	John Kinsman.
	John, yeah.
	I just know him as Big Jay.
	And he's going, get out of here!
	Get out of my fa... Get out of my fa... Now, the only way you can make this, get out of here, into a Sieg Heil, which I will not even do on this show because it'll be screen grab.
	So when I go like this, I'm doing a Sieg Heil.
	So the only way to make this look like a Sieg Heil is to get your camera one foot off the ground and then go... And they actually had the balls to call this a Roman salute.
	And I was talking to my coach the other day, and I go, you heard about this?
	15 fucking years for a brawl that normally would be probation at worst.
	And he goes, yeah, but you got to rein in your boys a bit, dude.
	That's not funny, Zeke Eiling.
	And I go, what are you talking about?
	I saw the picture.
	It's just like, what was he thinking?
	I go, he was not Zeke Eiling.
	He'd never do that in a million years.
	It would never occur to him.
	Black wife, four black kids.
	In fact, if those guys end up with 15 years, his kids won't have a father.
	So in my ruined lives category, which is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, that'll go up to like 10.
	Because it'll be the whole family destroyed.
	And Max, too.
	A guy, Jeffrey Young, is already in Rikers for this fight.
	He's serving like, I don't know, 15 weekends.
	He's done in November or something like that.
	So he just works his ass off all week.
	Then on Friday, goes to Rikers.
	It takes about five hours to go through all the processing, just like you're going to jail, you know, for 11 months.
	It's the same amount of shit.
	Sit there for five hours, read 900 books.
	That's the one upside is these guys end up reading.
	If you ever meet someone who just got out of jail, they're always like, actually, no, the Robert E. Lee was only at the Battle of Gettysburg for about four days.
	He had to go off to North Carolina because Fort Duquesne was being established by the French.
	And then again, that's one perspective.
	Now, I've read another book that says something contrary.
	Now, a lot of people disagree.
	A lot of people think that Robert E. Lee was actually working with the English... I'm doing a terrible job of history, by the way.
	I always learn that shit in a book and then, like, sans through the hourglass.
	Yeah.
	Like, there was about two months where I was the Civil War buff.
	Oh, dude, I knew, like, theoretical physics for two months.
	Yeah, I was all about it.
	I was like, I'm smart.
	I don't even know what Robert E. looks like.
	A statue?
	Isn't he a statue?
	He's a statue guy.
	That'd be funny if a guy's only claim to fame was that he was a statue.
	I'm a famous statue.
	So that was crazy.
	Yeah, that's what I figured.
	Yeah, that's about right.
	See, then the sand comes back when someone shows you.
	But when you click away from that, it clicks away from my brain.
	That might be living in the computer age.
	So, at the risk of boring you with too much, No, let's get to, let's just do one of the guys, Caleb Perkins.
	I'll do a more in-depth version of this later, but 20 minutes before the Proud Boys fight where you see the perp Zeke Eiling, 20 minutes before the fight that he's on trial for, a mob of Antifa beat up Paul Miller and took his equipment.
	Caleb Perkins, Kai Russo, and Finbar Slonim.
	I'll be getting into these guys quite a bit, because I want to make them as famous as our guys.
	They beat the shit out of the reporter, took his stuff, right?
	That's petite larceny, assault.
	And then the cops caught them, they caught three of them, the three I just mentioned, and those guys got away scot-free.
	Now one of them, Caleb Perkins, he's, they're all gay by the way, he has a history of fighting cops.
	Here he is on trial, look at what he's wearing by the way to the trial.
	Like doesn't that say tomes?
	These guys don't take this seriously because they know they're getting off because they have all these SJW lawyers.
	So he shows, by the way, that that picture you just saw was at a Black Lives Matter thing a couple years ago in New York where he elbowed a cop in the face.
	Not a big deal, apparently.
	And I've talked to cops who say, yeah, if the only thing that will get you in shit is if you spit in my face, but you can bite me, punch me, and the courts just go, well, you're a cop in New York.
	What do you think was going to happen?
	This is what you signed up for, pussy.
	So Caleb, I'm only going to talk about Caleb today, by the way.
	So Caleb elbows a cop in the face.
	His boyfriend was also in the melee.
	His boyfriend shows up wearing a dirty t-shirt that says, I didn't do it in marker across it.
	Both getaway scot-free.
	But just so you understand what we're up against here, because this is news to me.
	I thought lawyers were like to kill a mockingbird.
	The woman you see in that picture, what's her name?
	Moira?
	Go back to the picture.
	You can use that one.
	It's Moira Meltzer-Cohen.
	Now look at that picture.
	Scroll down a bit.
	She's got a keffiyeh on, which is the Palestinian scarf that means destroy Israel.
	She's Jewish, right?
	Pro-Palestinian.
	She's got a lip ring on.
	And this is the kind of, when you read about her, you realize you're learning about a SJW blue-haired radical.
	Myra uses the personal pronouns she and they, and this just shows you how ridiculous it is to use they as a pronoun.
	They are admitted to practice law in New York State, the Southern, Northern, and Western Districts of New York.
	They hold degrees from the University of Michigan, the University of Wisconsin, and the CUNY School of Law.
	They can be reached at, and they have her email.
	This is the same woman who represented Chelsea Manning, the radical anarchist who, with Vic Berger, doxed a night for freedom and had an old Jewish man almost beat to death under the suspicion of being a Nazi.
	He went into cardiac arrest and David Campbell is facing 15 years in prison.
	In fact, he's on my list of destroyed lives by Antifa.
	David Campbell, not the guy that got beat up.
	The unfortunate thing, I'm attracted to slightly plump Jewish girls.
	So it's hard to hate.
	And that lip ring is like, I mean business.
	The lip ring is a deal breaker though.
	Really?
	Oh, I hate facial piercings.
	I don't know.
	It looks so insecure, especially when girls with a weird nose get something here.
	It's like, don't look at my big nose.
	Look down here.
	I kind of like... What are you trying to do?
	Smoke and mirrors, illusions.
	I guess makeup is sort of an illusion.
	But check this out from her own website.
	My vision of the relationship between law and justice is shaped by my commitment to radical social movements.
	This is how, when you go to court in New York City, this is who represents you.
	And she does a great job.
	She gets cop beaters off.
	They're set free.
	All right, we should set up the calls.
	Okay.
	I talk too much about Proud Boys and Antifa.
	I'm boring myself.
	Alright guys.
	I bore myself just thinking about you.
	I scare myself.
	I thought you were going to go into it.
	I bore myself.
	Of course you would because that's your kind of music.
	You like women singing about men.
	I got a good one.
	I got boring with myself.
	That's a good one.
	You know what?
	We should do a whole segment on it.
	I hate sexy music.
	You know that song?
	You can leave your hat on!
	It's clearly about a woman wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat being fucked from behind by an old, fat, bald guy who looks like he hangs out in Margaritaville.
	That's what they're going for.
	And I don't want that image in my head, Dad.
	You can leave your hat on!
	Or even that, like, DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO!
	Yeah, that is sexy.
	Sexy music sucks.
	Yeah, why am I listening to you be sexual?
	I don't like that.
	I don't like jokey music either.
	I don't like ween.
	I don't like funny songs.
	Rastafarian reggae junkie jew!
	Like Weird Al.
	Don't, the, the, music doesn't, I don't like jokes in music.
	It's serious poetry.
	It's like sex.
	I had an argument once with this chick who was dating a friend of mine who was a comedian.
	And I was saying, you like to joke around?
	Oh, they did a thing.
	He said, why don't I meet you in Vegas?
	Because he was working in LA and she was in New York.
	And I'll just show up at the bar.
	You wear lingerie under your clothes and we'll pick each other up.
	And she said, we did it.
	I showed up and then he started and I just burst out laughing.
	And I just went, you ruined it.
	You wrecked it.
	I go, you don't joke around during sex, do you?
	And she goes, yeah, if something's funny.
	I go, Sarah, no.
	That's not the place.
	It's very serious.
	Like, say there was the loudest queef in the world during intercourse, I wouldn't acknowledge it in any way, shape, or form.
	I don't break for queefs.
	I got a job to do.
	That's a shirt.
	It's actually like sparring.
	If we're just joking around and we're throwing a medicine ball around or doing some sort of relay where I punch your glove and you punch my glove, I might joke around.
	But when it's an actual fight, zero jokes.
	It's life or death.
	With fighting, You're risking death.
	With fucking, you're creating life.
	Those are not comedy zones.
	And music is just a simulation of sex.
	That's why rock and roll is for young people.
	And that's why the beat is like... It's ultimately just sex.
	You can leave your hat on... Alright, should we take some calls?
	This is gonna suck, by the way.
	No, no, this will be fine.
	It's gonna be a shit show.
	Yeah, it'll be alright.
	So, we got, uh, what do we got here?
	Um... Alright, they're still screening.
	Let's just talk to them.
	Hey, 9-1-3, you're on the line.
	Hey guys, uh, got a few questions for ya.
	I'll just ask them.
	Uh, when will Miles make his first appearance?
	Yeah, I agreed to do Miles for Rebel.
	I don't know, man.
	I'm kind of sick of him.
	Like, just like I was just saying about not being honest and getting to the point.
	Miles is like, you want to make a point, but you have to go this way and circle around and then come back to it.
	Sometimes I'd rather just say, that is a thing, rather than find a sarcastic route to get there.
	And is he funny?
	I don't even know anymore.
	Yeah, he's hilarious.
	I think he's your most underrated viewer, fan.
	I don't know what you call him, but yeah, people love him.
	Put him on.
	Also, Ryan, that Jordan Peterson voice, just go to notjordanpeterson.com and you can create your own phrases.
	What?
	That's awesome.
	And then lastly, you just mentioned that Radical Activist is trying to get off Beater Top.
	Is that a sexual innuendo?
	I'll listen off the air.
	Love you guys.
	Okay, I heard him.
	He said to get cop beaters off, which is a sexual innuendo.
	Do you want to hit this for a little bit?
	Yeah, let's hit it.
	I'm starting to feel guilty.
	People pay money and I'm blasting them with an air conditioner.
	And you're half deaf.
	And I can't hear shit.
	Dang.
	It's kinda nice though, in New York City, being deaf.
	Right, yeah.
	I like it.
	Fucking sirens.
	Hey fireman, we know, we know, we know.
	You're there, we get it.
	My friend once said, just put the fire out and shut the fuck up.
	Yeah, there's no fire.
	I lived in New York for what, 25 years now?
	I've seen two.
	We gotta get a cat out of a tree.
	Bullshit.
	How many times have you seen a cat skeleton in a tree?
	Never.
	They'll be fine.
	They'll figure it out.
	We got Steve talking about circumcision.
	Steve, you're on the line.
	Hey, your new nickname is Circumcision Steve!
	Hey Gavin, hey Ryan, how are you guys doing?
	Hello.
	Good.
	Uh, yeah, I just wanted to say that I just feel like that there's, like, the biggest issue in the United States today is the fact that babies are having part of their penises cut off and I just find it odd that no one's really talking about it.
	I'll tell you why no one's talking about it because they're circumcised.
	Like I was listening to a, well this might help, I was listening to this black call-in show and one of the callers said, hey why don't we ever talk about the lack of fathers in the black community?
	I mean that's a real, and then the two black hosts both went, uh well I'm not going to judge someone else for the mistakes they may or may not have made and they just totally killed the subject.
	And I got the feeling it's because those two guys have kids that they don't take care of anymore.
	Or at least don't see very often.
	So I think it's really hard for a man to go, my penis is fucked.
	This is not the penis I'm supposed to have.
	But you're right.
	It is genital mutilation.
	They're so fucked.
	The penis is destroyed.
	There's no benefits at all.
	There was an argument, like the Jews and Muslims did it a billion years ago because they argued it was about cleanliness or something like that.
	Okay, well let's go back in time and argue that.
	But in America, the anti-Semites like to blame Jews for this operation.
	It has nothing to do with that.
	Dr. Joseph Kellogg of Kellogg's Corn Flakes was a sexual puritan like a lot of the original pioneers and he decided that we beat off too much, which is kind of true actually, and he decided that if we make it feel less good, same reason Muslims!
	circumcised women.
	If we make it feel less good, then young men will touch their dicks less.
	So let's cut the dick off, let's cut the front off and lose some nerve endings.
	Maybe they can get on with their day a little better.
	That's the origin, the man behind Kellogg's Corn Flakes.
	Time to move on. - Thanks Steve.
	You know what, I just read up too that Kellogg's Corn Flakes were created because less flavorful food is less indulgent, therefore making you less horny.
	And stuff like that.
	They were created as like a flavorless type of food.
	Is that true?
	Yeah, I just looked that up recently.
	Because he was a sexual puritan, yada yada.
	Huh.
	Yup.
	Alright, we got screener says... By the way, no, I just want to talk about this a little bit more.
	You gotta see a circumcision tray.
	Oof.
	That they use at the hospital.
	Did we just crash?
	No.
	It's a baby-shaped tray.
	They put your kid in.
	There's a strap for the head.
	There's straps for the arms.
	Straps for the legs.
	And then they sit there with the sharpest scissors you could ever imagine and go skk.
	There's actually a story I read about once where the guy overdid it and he fucked it up and it got infected and the whole penis was destroyed.
	And they go, shit, let's just make a pussy.
	What?
	And they make it into a girl.
	And that kid grows up not knowing that it's a boy, has insane mental issues, and I think at the age of 14 or 15 he killed himself.
	That was all from circumcision.
	There you go.
	Oh, there's no, there's no, this one's lacking a head strap.
	When my brother was born, I saw a head strap and feet straps.
	I mean, this idea that it doesn't hurt.
	And the other argument I've heard is I actually used to do this in a standup routine where they go, I don't know.
	I go, why did you mutilate your fucking son?
	And they go, I don't know.
	I wanted his penis to look like mine.
	Why?
	For the imminent penis photo shoots you guys are doing together?
	Like I see my dad's dick maybe once every four years.
	It's like Haley's Comet.
	It shoots through the sky.
	It's good luck.
	You gotta put the AC back on, I'm dying here.
	It's 88 degrees.
	Yeah.
	And like, even if you did do penis photo shoots, why do they have to look the same?
	I don't understand it, I really don't.
	It's fucking cruel.
	Like, just watch it.
	Just go watch it.
	Another thing about, like, how traumatic that is coming right out the womb.
	And then you get part of your dick cut off.
	It's like you're getting sexually assaulted.
	Yeah.
	Right off the bat.
	And they go, well, he's not going to remember it.
	Okay, well, you know, a lot of people don't remember what happened to them before they're four.
	That's usually like the cutoff because your brain has to make room for all this new news.
	So let's just burn three-year-olds with cigarettes and fucking slap them around and let them lose 50 pounds and gain 50 pounds.
	They're just toys.
	They're just sandbags till yet they have memories.
	Yes, thank you for bringing that up, caller.
	It's always annoyed me how that's never covered.
	Like, we don't cover anything of consequence.
	We should be going by the numbers, and the numbers are opioid, obesity, gang warfare.
	Not fucking some dude who didn't see Kyle claiming he's Z Kyle.
	Okay, we got Gavin talking about joke music, but he has a good point.
	Uh, that would... I don't see his name on here, but, uh... I don't care!
	You're on the line there.
	Nameless... Rick?
	Oh, Rick.
	Nameless Rick.
	That's your new nickname.
	Yeah, it's Rick.
	No, now you're Nameless Rick.
	Okay, what do you got?
	Fuck that.
	Uh, but Gavin, you were in a band called, uh, Leatherass Budfuck and Anal Chinook, which is obviously just a fart.
	How is that not a joke?
	That's a very valid point.
	But, uh...
	We did have a lot of serious songs, like we had a song called Women's Rights that said, Women can't articulate!
	Why can't women masturbate?
	I worry about the world's fate with men in control!
	And we sang seriously.
	Well, I mean, women's rights are a joke, so...
	Yeah, I'm not sure we could base all of my political beliefs on what I did when I was 18.
	And Leatherass Buttfuck were actually kind of a serious band.
	Like, we... Leatherass Buttfuck wasn't meant to... It was meant to be like, whoa, weird, sex fuck, like the band Revolting Cocks.
	It was that kind of a name.
	Like, we're a psycho, dude!
	Alright, next.
	Sorry, sir.
	You gotta hang up on people faster.
	It's like, get the point out, no intro, and then hang up.
	Alright, we're going to try this new format with Ucaller.
	Go on now, 269.
	Oh, hey, sick.
	My name's Kaelin.
	What's your opinion on Morrissey and how he's treated in the media?
	Because I feel like he's...
	He's a leftist by nature, but he has a few slight right-wing beliefs, but he's shit on the media just for, you know, he's slandered constantly.
	He's a vegetarian.
	I think he might be a vegan.
	He's definitely an animal rights activist.
	He won't play shows where they sell hot dogs.
	The guy is a raving homosexual.
	He hates Trump, but he loves Britain.
	You could call him a nationalist.
	And he thinks that the Muslim invasion, which has totally permanently changed towns like Birmingham and Luton, where Tommy Robinson is from.
	And what's the one that had all the rapes?
	Rotherham.
	Those towns are gone.
	Just completely gone.
	Literally every town in Britain is a rape factory now, so it's not even like, you know... So he's against that, and you're allowed to be... there's more allowance for Islamophobia among the gay community, because they want to throw you off a fucking building.
	Just like you're allowed to be more wary of evangelical Christians if you're gay.
	That's a new rule I just made up.
	So he dared to wear the British flag around himself, which he's been doing, by the way, since the Smiths.
	He hasn't changed.
	But because we're living in Trump derangement syndrome clown world, he's considered a Nazi.
	Just like the Griffin Bar, who lost their bar for not kicking us out enthusiastically enough, even though they did it immediately and then had a bunch of benefits for the sin of not knowing the political beliefs of 100% of their patrons.
	They're insatiable.
	Thank you, sir.
	We got more beating up the world.
	I don't know what that means.
	You're on, 570.
	Hey, dude.
	Hey, buddy.
	Hey, here's a quick little math thing.
	Hey, hey, here's a quick... Not so quick.
	I got a lot of echo there.
	I can't hear anybody.
	Okay, we're having echo problems.
	Can you not hear this?
	How's this?
	Try it out.
	Oh, there you are.
	Okay.
	There we go.
	Ryan had the wrong setting.
	It worked for everybody else.
	No, maybe they're just tolerating the echo.
	Sorry, go ahead, caller.
	Yeah, I think that's right.
	So here's a quick thing I like to do just for fun.
	The way you break down the population of the world by people you can beat up.
	You break it down by the numbers.
	Okay.
	Does that make any sense?
	Yeah, I guess you mean adult men.
	No, no, no.
	The whole entire world.
	So like babies in India?
	Unfortunately, yeah.
	Okay, so there's 7 billion people in the world.
	Half of them are women.
	So you can break it down pretty well.
	I've gotten up to like 94% or so.
	You think you could beat up 94% of the world?
	Yeah.
	Dude, in Moscow, everyone's been... When you crunch the numbers... I don't want to fight Russians.
	I don't want to fight a lot of Africans.
	No.
	The Middle East... Well, you're gonna have to, you know?
	That's when you look at the numbers, you have to do it.
	You know what would be cool?
	I mean, I don't want to beat up old women either, but...
	It has to be done.
	If you have a computer simulation where you fight every, like a baby in the Congo, you fight every person in the world, but you get to reset after every one.
	Because if you fought ten guys in Moscow, you'd be jammed.
	After every fight, you go back to the strength you are right now.
	You can't train, so nobody trains for it.
	But what you are right now is what your strength is.
	So you've done a lot of homework on this, and you're up to 94% of the world.
	At my peak, I was around 94.
	I need to crunch the numbers again.
	I haven't done it in a while.
	You've got to go back to the lab.
	But it's a good way when you're bored.
	Yeah.
	What do you think Mike Tyson's number is?
	He's 99.9, I believe.
	I mean, he's got to be way up there.
	Can you imagine how that fucking feels?
	Because it's not just in the ring with all the rules.
	He could be walking down the streets in Ukraine and know that he could beat up every single person he sees.
	Even if they fight dirty, whatever you want.
	It must feel awesome to know that you could beat up pretty much everyone in the world.
	Well, and one of the reasons I bring it up is you're talking about you were in a bar in Boston, and there's a guy across the bar staring at you, thinking, you know, wanting to fight you.
	And I was thinking that I lived in Boston for a long time.
	I'm wondering if that was me, because when I'm in bars by myself, I like to, you know, clear the room and see what I'm doing there.
	Okay, it was actually just outside of Boston, in a place that's a little more middle class.
	Maybe you can help jog my memory.
	The hell was it called?
	It's like, you know, Ann Arbor.
	Was it a nice town?
	Wellesley?
	Yeah, what was it?
	Arlington?
	Arlington, Wellesley, Weston?
	Whatever.
	Those are all the nice suburbs.
	Anyway.
	Anyway, yeah.
	Crunch the number sometime.
	It's a lot of phone.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	You know what's great about boxing, too, is you walk down the street and there's no fear.
	And in New York, especially when you're me and everyone wants to kill you, you're always like, why is that guy standing near me?
	What's going on here?
	You're looking behind you.
	You're ready at all times.
	Someone comes up to you, Hey man, are you Gavin?
	And you're like, yeah, why?
	Which one are you?
	What side are you on?
	I was actually, this is a good example.
	I was at a baseball game and this guy sits next to me.
	Hmm.
	We have seat skippers all the time.
	All right.
	And, uh, then he goes, so if, um, if this stays tied after ninth inning, it goes into overtime.
	And I was like, yeah.
	Yeah, it's called Extra Innings.
	What do you got?
	Oh, Dodgers.
	You have the Dodgers?
	You like the Dodgers?
	Uh, no, yes.
	And then he's taking a video, right?
	And he keeps going really wide in the video, getting near my family.
	And I go, where are your seats?
	And he goes, oh, I followed someone up there.
	And I thought, in another world, if I wasn't me, then I'd go, whatever, dude, OK.
	but now I'm a hunted man I can't be fucking around I'm breaking the bro code and you're out of here hey security get this guy out of here this isn't his ticket he's creeping me out and I had him booted out and he's like way to go I just went fuck you You could have just really been a pleasant guy, you don't know, but you can't take the chance.
	I'm not taking that chance.
	Exactly.
	And the beauty with sparring every day is you realize what percentage of fighting is fear, and I think it's upwards of 80.
	So you get that 80 down to like 55, and then you're walking down the street and you're like, what's going on here?
	Are you okay?
	Like this guy I box with, he goes, well I'll go up to a giant in a bar and go, you got your Irish up?
	You want to go outside?
	Should we just settle this?
	Like some journalist at the Freedom of Speech Rally we did in DC, he was like, so Charlottesville and blah blah blah and Zeke Hyling and he was bringing up all these myths and I could tell he's trying to nail me and I go, look, You don't like me, clearly, right?
	You're trying to frame me, which puts my family in jeopardy, puts my life in jeopardy, as we see.
	Like, that guy, the shooter in Dayton, Ohio, hated Faith Goldie, called her a Nazi.
	Right.
	Faith Goldie's not a Nazi, but you just convinced this mass shooter that he is, that she is, and he's clearly a murderer, so you almost got Faith killed.
	So when they make up this lie, it puts our lives in jeopardy, puts my family in jeopardy.
	So that's a pretty big thing they want to do to me.
	So you want to hurt me, then I want to hurt you.
	So let's just go over there and fight.
	Let's get it over with.
	Why are we playing this little cat-and-mouse game?
	Otherwise it's like a one-sided Cold War, where only one side knows that they're trying to attack the other people.
	Hey, do you think that- Like Finn Lizzie said, and if the boys want to fight, you better let them.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	Oh, that's it?
	He ends that abruptly, that stanza.
	You put a little... It does sound really jammed in at the end.
	Do you think self-deprecation is a form of, like, a defense mechanism that was adapted through those who... Like, nobody... Not a lot of people like to beat up on somebody who's, like, almost like a... If you pretend you're dead to a bear, they're not gonna bother you?
	You articulate your thoughts like a drunk driver trying to convince a cop that he hasn't had anything to drink.
	Let me guess what you're saying.
	Yeah, self-deprecation isn't the same as humiliation or ridicule as we discussed on the other show.
	That's just ball-busting that's so good you end up directing it to yourself.
	That's fine, that's funny.
	But humiliating a man is a totally different story.
	But I'm saying, you know, a fight usually happens when two adversaries go at it.
	Now if one just lays down and says, eh, I'm kind of a piece of shit, then that kind of makes the other person be like, I'm not going to beat you up because you're a pussy.
	Yeah, maybe a noble person would do that.
	But, you know, our enemies aren't noble.
	And remember that dude... I forget his name.
	He... His nickname is like Proud Boy, like P-R-A-W-D or something.
	He got knocked out with a giant flagpole by Antifa.
	Then he was out, and they were kicking his unconscious head.
	Right.
	Is there anything more disturbing than seeing videos of an unconscious person being kicked in the head and the way the head just sort of flops?
	Bang!
	It's like killing a dead person.
	It's really horrible to look at.
	Alright, let's take another call.
	We gotta get going soon and I want to show some funny videos because this episode's been a little serious.
	Okay, uh... We got Mark calling about potential Republican nominees and Truck lose this year.
	Trump.
	Or something.
	Hey guys, what's going on?
	I think that no matter what happens next year, if Trump wins or loses, I think the Republicans have no chance but to nominate Tim Scott, the Senator from South Carolina.
	And also, I just wanted to say that I thought what happened to you and... Sorry, the phone's ringing in the back here.
	I saw that Newsmax and Andrew Klavan were not really fair to the Proud Boys, And, uh, I saw you were kind of pissed off about that, so... I know Andrew Klavan!
	Did he say something about white supremacy?
	It's lazy boomers.
	Alright, we're talking over each other.
	The delay is a little such, though, that if you do interrupt, you have to just play through.
	All right, let's hang up the call.
	You know who I saw was thinking about running against Trump?
	Joe Walsh.
	Not the rocker, but the political pundit.
	Joe Walsh was the guy that got duped by Sacha Baron Cohen.
	Also a friend, but it's going to be a tough run.
	We should just take a second to acknowledge that BetDSI Our sponsor this week, BetTSI.com.
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	I think it's $25.
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	We were doing it last night.
	The game was awesome.
	It was fun.
	It was it was tied.
	It went to extra innings, but we started trying to guess what the speed was before it appears on the board and that could have been a bet right there.
	That made the whole game more fun.
	I mean, that's what really what sports is.
	You're gambling.
	You go there.
	I used to think sports was a simulation of war.
	And war is natural.
	It's natural for tribes to want to fight and dominate and prove themselves.
	There's sort of like physical meritocracy.
	So it's just like the gladiator stadiums.
	In fact, they look like the gladiator stadiums.
	But you're watching a live war.
	And they used to do that.
	In the Civil War, people would bring out picnic blankets and just watch battles.
	Watch men die.
	There's something about us where we like to see that sort of gruesome clash.
	And then after last night I was thinking, no, it's more like, and I shouldn't say no, it might be a simulation of war, or maybe it's a simulation of life.
	Like, you have a business going, a restaurant, like our buddy, the Japanese guy who took over his dad's sushi restaurant, and then it went under.
	Like, that's brutal.
	You're about to win the World Series, and then your team sucks, but you gotta keep going, trade in some guys, get some new guys.
	I mean, when you're watching a game, your team is constantly dealing with curveballs, literally.
	Life throws you a curveball.
	That colloquialism comes in.
	Go to batdsi.com, use the promo code Gavin, you put in 25 bucks, they match 25 bucks.
	Alright, let's take a couple calls and we'll look at some stupid videos and then I gotta go back to Breezy.
	I'm gonna take Ryan with me to Breezy, you can meet the local pigs.
	Fuckin' pigs.
	Alright, we got Richie, only known for being a statue.
	Richie?
	Hey.
	Earlier in the show, you said, imagine only being known for your statue.
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	What was that?
	I just wanted you to know that there is such a person.
	His name is Ozymandias.
	Who?
	Ozymandias.
	And what's his story?
	He was an ancient king.
	The Amusement King?
	He was an ancient king.
	Ancient king.
	Thank you very much for that call, sir.
	We'll be sure to look that up.
	Two legs are all that's left of his statue somewhere in Egypt.
	Okay, great.
	Ozymendias is a statue known for being a statue.
	Badass man.
	Next call.
	Alright, we got Mike.
	Democrats winning the election.
	Mike, you are on the line.
	What's up, fellas?
	Uhuru.
	So, I have a hypothetical for you.
	If somebody like Kamala Harris or Bernie Sanders wins the 2020 elections, which I doubt is going to happen, obviously, but if it were to happen, what do you think would happen to the country and what do you think we as conservatives could do about it to make sure that it's not a huge shithole?
	I mean, at the end of the day, does the President really affect you so much?
	Trump actually destroyed me.
	I live in a liberal area.
	Not destroyed me, but my taxes last year would make your hair go white.
	We had a bunch of caps with property tax and income tax, and making a fair amount of money in America, in this part of New York, means I got fucking reamed.
	Like, I won't get into the actual numbers, but it's above $100,000.
	So, Trump technically affected my life worse than other presidents, but I don't care about that.
	I care about the whole country.
	And, I don't know.
	You have no idea.
	Like, George W. Bush was a conservative.
	He pried open the borders and spent more than any other president before him.
	I would prefer Bill Clinton to George W. Bush.
	At least he was a little more frugal.
	But as far as how this will affect us all, who knows?
	Like Bernie Sanders wants to rape us by overtaxing us, but all these politically correct candidates, they want to rape us with other stupid programs and forcing affirmative action.
	I think that the Kamala Harrises of the world will be worse than the socialists.
	No, no, sorry.
	The Bernie Sanders of the world will be worse than the Kamala Harrises, but they're both Socialists, I think our best chance of the DNC is a freak loser like that chick who wants to start a love brigade Marianne Williamson, whatever her name is Because she'll just be a pawn like I've heard conservatives say Justin Trudeau is actually a good prime minister Because he's so stupid and useless that they just go.
	Yeah, we're gonna do this.
	It's really good for you It's a it's the right thing to do.
	It's good for the environment.
	He's like, okay.
	Well you guys do that Tell me when it's done Maybe a loser is the only hope.
	But again, I don't believe in this apocalyptic view of politics.
	I don't think that they can change our lives that much.
	I would argue the people, the culture, as Breitbart said, politics is downstream from the culture.
	And it's the culture that gets us fired.
	It's the culture that endangers our families.
	It's the culture that encourages these kangaroo court.
	I've seen a lot more lives ruined by social media witch hunts than I have by politicians.
	One more question.
	This is a serious one.
	- Okay, one more. - One more question.
	This is a serious one.
	Why are you gay? - I'm not gay.
	You are gay.
	I'm not gay.
	You are gay.
	Hang up.
	All right.
	You gotta work on your comic timing, dude.
	He had a good joke, and then you just hang up after that.
	We don't say, okay, bye, thanks for calling.
	We're not talking to our Nana on Sunday.
	It's odd, because Nana, you're on the line.
	No, this is Ben.
	My Nana's dead.
	My Nanas are dead.
	Go ahead, caller.
	Gavin, you talk about how You have to pronounce Glasgow, Glasgow, but then you say Moscow.
	My Russian girlfriend always says I'm a fucking idiot for calling Moscow, Moscow.
	And you went on a rant about how Glasgow is supposed to be Glasgow.
	Okay, what is, how is Moscow pronounced?
	It's supposed to be Moscow.
	Moscow.
	The Russians call it Moskova.
	Moscow.
	Moscow.
	Okay, thanks.
	Hang up.
	Thanks, sir.
	All right, we gotta go.
	By the way, it's more important to pronounce Glasgow correctly because Glasgow's in the West and the West is the best.
	Russia sucks.
	Push it into the sea.
	It's not relevant.
	It's a sad, disgusting shithole.
	All right, before we finally leave, God, I'm reminded, you know what's weird?
	What's up?
	Oh, that's my son.
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Hey.
	Yeah, come over here now.
	We'll buzz you in.
	And, uh, stuff like that.
	We're still shooting though.
	Alright.
	Bye.
	Alright, we've got time for a couple videos.
	My son's coming into the studio, so this is the life of a Trump supporter.
	When he buzzes in, when he comes out of the elevator, move that thing, let him in, but make sure you don't show any of that.
	Gotcha.
	Okay.
	Here's an oldie but a goodie.
	I was going through some old videos that I haven't played on the show, and I was reminded of ones you've seen, but it's summertime.
	We can afford to be light.
	And this one never fails to crack me up.
	I love it so much.
	You've seen it a million times.
	We're going over some oldies but goodies here.
	This is just like listening to Satisfaction by the Stones.
	Watch this guy deal with a lizard jumping on him.
	Oh good grief, yes.
	Oh boy.
	Alright, let's see how long it is.
	Looks like a white guy in blackface.
	Probably close to five feet.
	Texas rat snakes are going to be one of the largest snakes that you find in the metroplex area.
	Get this thing off me, man!
	Get this thing off me, man!
	- Get this thing off me, man.
	God dang.
	Why does this thing jumpin' at me?
	Now go to the slingshot.
	We gotta rush through this.
	Because I'm worried about my boy getting stuck downstairs at the lobby.
	We didn't give his name to security.
	I've watched every single one of these.
	You could lose hours of your life to slingshot videos.
	I don't watch the puke ones because I've got a weak stomach.
	But you can always tell who's going to freak out.
	The ones who are going, huh, huh, huh, they always do really bad.
	And the ones who are laughing, they always enjoy the ride.
	I've never seen the inverse.
	I've never seen someone with this bad attitude enjoy it.
	It's about life.
	The same is true of life.
	Have a good attitude going in.
	You know what they do to these guys sometimes?
	They go, uh, I think your seatbelt's broken.
	Oh, oh.
	Oh, they do it in this one.
	Yeah, yeah, your seatbelt's loose.
	You can slip out.
	Oh, dude.
	Yeah, did you adjust it correctly?
	Uh-oh.
	Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work.
	Is mine faster?
	Yeah, no, we're going to have to stop the record.
	Oh.
	The hands.
	Oh, man.
	He's literally the most scared a human can be.
	Right before he fainted, he was the most scared a human man can achieve that level of fear.
	To actually call for mama.
	Mama!
	If that's his sister, she's gonna make fun of him forever.
	If that's a potential girlfriend, dude, you're dumped.
	There's no coming back from that.
	Crying and saying mama.
	Alright, we gotta go.
	I just want to end the show with an inspiring little video I talked about the other day.
	I want to show you what a real man is.
	A real man is not the top boxer in the world.
	It's not a famous celebrity.
	It's not David Beckham.
	It's not Brad Pitt.
	It's this guy.
	Someone with ambition who makes something out of nothing.
	This was sent to me from a... To me, this is just a job.
	People could look at me and think I'm daft.
	But at the end of the day, overall, I'm making a living.
	What's the name of this video?
	Oops.
	The odd job boy of Clitheroe.
	Yeah, Clitheroe's in Northern England, right before Scotland.
	Born and bred here.
	I've got a tandem push iron.
	I've got a push button.
	For the local people of Clitheroe.
	He just does odd jobs.
	- I can fit more on that push bike than you can in a buddy van.
	And you think I'm lucky. - Ladies, if you're looking for a man, you're looking for ambition.
	Is he up on Monday at 9:00 a.m.?
	working on whatever stupid plan he has?
	That's what matters, not the plan.
	I've said this a million times.
	I don't care if it's something as dumb as photographer or DJ or even musician or comedian.
	As long as he's busting his ass Monday at 9 a.m., you got a man.
	This guy is going to be making money.
	I guarantee you if we check back on him in 20 years, he'll have a whole slew of junk trucks that pick up crap.
	All over the place.
	At least four.
	And he will be grossing 200,000 pounds a year.
	This is what you're looking for, ladies.
	And men, stop making excuses.
	This guy has a tandem bike and he picks up couches from people.
	All right.
	That's the show.
	We've got to get back to Breezy.
	We'll be... What day is it today?
	Thursday.
	We don't have to do a show tomorrow.
	It's Friday.
	Yeah.
	Well, I do have something if you want to put it up.
	Possibly.
	Yeah, put up a Free Speed Presents.
	Oh, but we also got History of Punk is tomorrow.
	And let's put up the History of Punk tomorrow.
	It's finally done.
	It's a masterpiece, and you don't have to like punk to like it.
	Yeah.

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