Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #9 | ANTIFA DEATH TOLL

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Aug. 22, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:32:43

GOML LIVE #9 | ANTIFA DEATH TOLL

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	I believe you.
	Press the button.
	There we go.
	That's a record, Ryan.
	Yeah, I'm trying to see what the...
	Oh, no, I do.
	I do.
	What'd you do?
	I fucked up.
	Oh, that's clear.
	Yeah.
	But what did you do?
	Okay, well, there are these complex little settings that I got on the soundboard there.
	Yeah, complex to some.
	And what had happened was I pressed the wrong...
	So what did the people at home hear besides the music stop abruptly?
	I'm not sure.
	They might have heard no music.
	But in post, you know.
	This is live, retard?
	Yeah.
	That's the new name for the show.
	This is live retard.
	This is live retard.
	Hi, folks.
	What do you think of my new suit?
	Pretty cool, huh?
	Custom-made by Nita Fashions?
	It even says my name.
	That's the kind of thing that's cool to get after you die.
	Like, to cool from your dad.
	So my sons will get all these neat custom suits that have my name in them.
	Welcome back.
	We're back in Manhattan, back in NYC.
	God damn, it's hot.
	Wearing a suit in Manhattan is brutal.
	Wearing a suit in the subway of Manhattan is just interesting.
	It's like, it's a dare.
	It sucks balls, especially after being on the beach all week.
	And New Yorkers are hideous, and they stink.
	What is with people stinking?
	I don't understand it.
	Why do you reek?
	Like, don't you smell yourself?
	There's times when I go out and I go, oh no, I forgot to wear a deodorant, and I'm running around all day today.
	So you go to the bathroom of any establishment after you buy your fries or whatever.
	You go to the soap dispenser with a paper towel, and then you froth up your armpits.
	At least get the zing out.
	I'm confused by it.
	Sometimes I think people just don't have a sense of smell because they're reeking up the entire train.
	This is why I have a mustache in New York City because you can just go like that and it adds a whole filter system, a whole sort of walrus section that goes up your nose and it filters out the disgusting dead bum particles.
	And when I say dead bum, I mean dead skin cells on bums.
	And when I say dead skin cells on bums, I mean they're actual buttocks.
	Anyway, that intro song, which has just been in my head all week.
	First day of summer.
	Even though we're coming to the end of summer.
	And who is it now?
	Tony Carey.
	Boy, music sucked back then.
	This is where you come from.
	You like this kind of music.
	Yeah, I can't believe you don't like it.
	Good.
	Turn it up.
	That's what is your name?
	Yeah, that's not even close to truth.
	Unless you're a mass shooter.
	So he's stuck in the Arctic, and then summer happens, and all the chicks get hot.
	Did you see that?
	The fatty jumps in the pool, drenches everyone, and water even comes shooting out of the TV.
	She's so fat.
	And by the way, by 2019 standards, she has anorexia.
	She's the tiniest woman I've seen all day.
	How are New Yorker so fat?
	Maybe we should get back to cocaine.
	Because yes, it made the music suck, and that song is terrible.
	And that guy is pure cocaine, by the way.
	You're looking at cocaine.
	All those guys are cocaine.
	They're not doing cocaine.
	You do them.
	Like, it's taken over their DNA.
	If you were to take a sample of them, there's more cocaine in their system than there is water.
	They're 71% cocaine.
	They're fucking cool.
	No, they're not, dude.
	Oh, man.
	You love the worst music in the world.
	I'm into retro stuff, I think.
	Yeah.
	Well, when we get back next week, I want to have, we're going to do Ryan Week.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Go for music.
	All your terrible single mom Puerto Rican garbage.
	That's another idea for this show.
	Puerto Rican garbage?
	Yeah.
	Puerto Rican garbage.
	It's redundant.
	JK.
	That's terrible, and I would never, ever.
	We got a lot to talk about.
	Unfortunately, a lot of Proud Boy stuff still, but I'm sorry, but I started the organization and they're in the news.
	So, yeah.
	Remember, CR-TV used to beg me not to talk about them.
	Can we not do that?
	I don't know anything about them.
	I didn't sign a deal with them.
	I signed a deal with you.
	So I had to Trojan horse it in to avoid being fired.
	And that worked out great, didn't it?
	Didn't I do a good job of not getting fired from CRTV?
	Well, you didn't get fired from CR-TV.
	You got fired from the Blaze.
	Yes, I guess that's true.
	Today in the paper, some junk mail and cursed at cops with dying breath.
	Thanks, liberals.
	Thanks, de Blasio.
	We have a Crip.
	Who was shot?
	Record.
	Record shooting.
	Baltimore, south side of Chicago, and NYC are really doing a great job with the mass shootings.
	The mass shootings you don't hear about, which is the gangbangers.
	20 in America die every day.
	20 black men are murdered by black men every day, but we don't talk about that.
	We focus on some mentally ill weirdos, which I'm happy to do, by the way.
	And we're going to get to that in a second.
	But yeah, as he was dying, he's a crip.
	And as he was dying, he just said, nah, man, fuck you.
	Those were his last words.
	And you know what the cops were trying to do?
	They were Trying to hurt him, they were trying to find out where his family lives so they can go kill his family.
	No, they were trying to find out who killed him.
	Who killed you?
	Fuck you, pig.
	All right.
	And you know what they intended to do after that?
	They go, Sometimes these guys say, Fuck you, pig, and then they go, wait a minute, the guy who killed me might kill the rest of my family, and then they're willing to talk at the hospital.
	But he died on the way.
	They shot him multiple times.
	Big shootings going on this week.
	And they shot him multiple times in multiple arteries.
	He was a Crip.
	Now, you got to be pretty weird.
	No offense, gangbangers.
	You got to be pretty weird to be a Crip.
	I just got an alert, and I have to always be aware of these in case there's an emergency because I'm under siege.
	And it says, Joema Live has started.
	We're streaming.
	Okay.
	Good.
	Thanks for the heads up.
	That's the app that I have.
	I have a beta of the app.
	We're currently about to get okayed with Apple, I hope.
	And we have it on Android, right?
	Yeah, it's out for Android.
	I don't know what Android is.
	It's the other.
	It's not the iPhone.
	I know, I know what it is.
	I tried to leave iPhone.
	I just am too stuck in my ways, and I hate that I'm an Apple slave.
	But yeah, the crips are pretty small in New York.
	There's bloods everywhere.
	And a great way to get initiated into the bloods, by the way, is to eat someone's lunch.
	Which, of course, is a colloquialism for slicing a stranger's face.
	Just cut them in the face.
	Why not?
	Of course, that'll be taken out of context and used in a court of law.
	Gavin McInnes told his followers to cut someone's face.
	And he said, Barack Obama is a monkey.
	How does that make you feel?
	They said, the DA said to the black guy conservative on the stand.
	And he goes, not very good.
	No one brought up that I've never said that in my life, but now two men are facing 15 years in prison for being part of a hate group.
	And I'm already starting to boil alive.
	Heat-wise.
	Yeah.
	I thought that had something to do with some court lingo.
	Oh, I'm beyond anger with all this stuff.
	I'm like damaged.
	I don't believe in that.
	Okay, I'm going to face the directional mic away from the AC.
	Turn on the AC.
	Okay.
	Let's punish.
	Sorry, folks.
	You don't like a hum?
	I don't like boiling alive in a suit in Manhattan.
	I'm going to fix the second camera real quick.
	What's wrong with the second camera?
	You've been dilly-dallyling all morning, giggling away at your own jokes, and we don't have the phone set up.
	You got the music wrong, and now the cameras aren't set up.
	You got to get your priorities right.
	Giggle after the job is done.
	And it'll be a much better giggle.
	You know how when you build a fence, the beer is the most delicious beer you've ever had in your life?
	Right.
	Well, when you get your work done, your giggle will taste like a cold beer after a hard day's work.
	That's kind of fun.
	All right.
	Shall we just dive into it?
	We shall.
	I can kind of.
	No, let's catch up on some stuff.
	Yeah.
	How's your vacation?
	Oh, it was really nice.
	A lot of family hanging out.
	Again, I am totally deaf in one ear.
	Yes.
	It's the ear nearest to you.
	It's full of wax.
	I tried to fix it myself after bragging about home medicine, and I damaged the canal, so I can't get it irrigated until I fixed it.
	So you'll have to speak very loudly.
	Well, it was really good.
	A lot of family time, ate a lot of good stuff.
	I went with Jill for the first three days.
	And you paid for her.
	And then she left?
	You paid for her.
	You are such an imbecile.
	You paid for your lesbian friend to come by.
	What was that, $170?
	And you had to go visit her and spend time away from your family, who you only see once a year.
	Well, no.
	The first day was just her and I, and then they showed up later.
	And I got to have a friend, a good friend of mine.
	And I recorded some stuff out there and she helped me out.
	It's friend of yours you see all the time.
	Yeah, but we don't get to hang out at this place.
	I go to this vacation spot all the time.
	It's my family.
	And then I'm just like, all right, when I want to get away from my family and just be like a kid, which I'm not, but it's just by myself.
	So it was fun to bring somebody to this place that I know so well and I'm so familiar with.
	It was very nice.
	It was worth it.
	I would bring you down there for $200.
	Why do I pay you money?
	You're $12,000 in debt.
	True.
	You're never going to get out of that debt if you keep buying friends.
	That sounds terrible.
	It was a good time.
	And she helped me film stuff.
	Film what stuff?
	Just some stuff.
	You know what I did?
	They had this old-timey photos.
	You're familiar with that?
	Yeah, I'm familiar with those.
	And so what I did was I took a picture of her and I and I put them on the demo picture.
	And I went up to the guy and I was like, hey, I do this myself.
	And as he was talking to a family, trying to convince them to buy this old-timey photo, I was like, guys, I do this for $3.
	Here's some of my work.
	And it's just crudely my face on the thing.
	That's a little hidden camera video there.
	That sounds hilarious.
	And there's like a little quiz I did with her.
	It was really a nice time.
	Thanks for watching.
	How'd she get back?
	She drove back herself.
	Why wasn't that an option when we spoke about this earlier?
	For her to drive back by herself?
	Yeah, but then I would have come back on Wednesday.
	The whole thing.
	Why couldn't she drive back by herself when we first discussed this?
	Oh, no, she always could have, but the idea that I would go with her so that way I could work on Monday, but then it turns out that wasn't necessary.
	So how much did you pay?
	$170 for her to join you on vacation?
	180.
	Yeah, and then...
	Like, this whole house is awesome.
	Yeah, then you didn't see your cousins and your mother.
	Oh, I did.
	Oh, absolutely.
	But not as much as you're supposed to.
	No, we spent a lot of time together.
	We definitely did.
	We definitely did.
	And then we leave the house and we go to the hotel.
	We, you know, met up with the family there for a little bit.
	And then I had, I think, like, three whole days with my family just like regular.
	All right, shut up.
	Have you been listening to my podcast?
	Yeah.
	Did I tell you about my Generation X theory?
	No.
	I'm worried I'm repeating myself.
	But I had an Epiphany a couple days, a dude ranch.
	It's really cool.
	I forgot what it's called, Rockin' Horse Ranch or something?
	It's upstate.
	Oh, I know what you're talking about.
	It was started by this tiny Little Jew who lived in the Lower East Side.
	This is back before it got Puerto Ricanized, and it was mostly Hasids and Orthodox and secular Jews.
	And they would sell ice cream with the horse and carriage.
	And the little guy seven, this is probably like 1950.
	And the ice cream guy goes, here, you can ride this little guy.
	He rides a horse and he goes, fuck it, I'm a cowboy.
	Yeah, there it is.
	So he just becomes a cowboy.
	He buys all this land and it's kind of a lower middle class kind of a demographic.
	A lot of cops and firemen and stuff.
	Oh, that's what it must be in the winter.
	They still have that slide in the summer.
	It's kind of like hanging out at a really generous rich guy's house.
	Like there's bouncy castles, there's that banana boat.
	I went water skiing.
	There's like he's just got checkerboards everywhere and tons of water slides.
	And he doesn't oversell it.
	So there's always a chair.
	Like we went to Atlantis one year, which was an upper class vacation.
	And these fuckers will book their pool seat in the dark at 4.30 in the morning.
	They'll get up, put their towel on it, then go back to bed.
	So when you get there at 8, there's nowhere to sit.
	You feel like a weird refugee walking around there.
	And you have to sit like 50 feet from the pool.
	It sucks.
	But this place is awesome.
	And the food was delicious.
	But one thing I noticed about my fellow vacationers is pretty bad behavior, I gotta say.
	Like letting your kids look at their phone in the lobby for six hours in a row.
	Just all curled up in a ball staring at her phone for six hours.
	I timed this one girl.
	She's probably 19.
	And then just grown men taking a nap on the couch in the lobby.
	Like they had this lizard guy show up.
	A lot of mentally, a lot of special needs people show up to touch the lizards.
	That doesn't sound very good.
	But uh-oh.
	I gotta make sure.
	Here, can you take this call and see if it's important?
	Sure.
	And I just, I noticed, guys, like, the lizard guy comes, right?
	So the lobby's busy.
	Everyone wants to see the lizard.
	And these adults are just napping.
	Just taking naps.
	Or taking up a whole couch that the kids would like to sit on.
	Or another time we saw a toddler walking through the lobby with just a diaper on.
	He's like two.
	A diaper, shoes, nothing else.
	And my wife.
	I hope I'm not making this horse rock and wrench sound bad.
	This is a general thing I've noticed at every resort.
	And my wife goes, why would you have a kid in just a diaper?
	That's the cutest age to dress them up.
	You get a little, like you get a onesie that has a fake overalls pattern on it or something.
	Or like even a tuxedo shirt.
	They're only that size for like a minute.
	So dress them in funny little pants and stuff.
	You get these red corduroy pants that have little buttons on them.
	And then they got a t-shirt that says like, here comes trouble with the lightning bolt.
	There's so many cool things you can do.
	And then the mother of that little boy, or whatever it was, is just wearing, is it breakfast, PJs, slippers, and her pendulous breasts are gone.
	There's zero meat in them.
	They hang down to here.
	She's my age, maybe younger.
	No, it's younger.
	Maybe she's like 34.
	And she's got a V-neck t-shirt that has this same V. So you see all the long line of the cleavage, you know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	I just felt like I could reach and just pull out her dead pancake of a tit.
	And I'm like, what's with everyone?
	And the men with their moobs and wearing the swim shirts because they're embarrassed of their bodies.
	Then it hit me.
	I see all these people as old people, but they're probably younger than me.
	They're my generation, Generation X. They're the children of divorce.
	So they don't know how to behave because they grew up with a mother and father who said, yeah, go ahead, do whatever you want.
	And the single mom, they were latchkey kids.
	I was the first generation to come home with no parents, right?
	Because they're both at work.
	So you watch the honeymooners or some stupid shitty Flintstone show.
	And you eat snacks.
	And then when you visit the dad, he's like, hey, let's have fun.
	Yeah, have all the shitty food you want.
	Do whatever you want.
	Stay up all night.
	My house is the party house.
	Your mother, she's the bummer.
	She's the bitch.
	I'm the fun guy.
	So they end up spoiled and unable to behave.
	Why are you showing footage of this ranch just to yourself?
	Well, I'm just waiting for it to be.
	Because you're making a good point, so I don't want to dilute it with just rocket slides or whatever the fuck that is.
	Dilute it?
	Dilute it.
	Dilute it.
	Yeah.
	Go ahead.
	Dilute away.
	It's better than just staring at my fucking head all.
	So it hit me that my generation, Generation X, doesn't know how to behave because they grew up with divorce.
	And that might also be the impetus for the obesity epidemic.
	You get to snack whenever you want.
	Here, go have a giant soda, kids.
	We're at dad's house.
	We're at Fun House.
	And then you have kids, Gen X, and you go, I don't know what discipline is.
	I let my kid just wear diapers.
	I let my daughter get a neck tattoo.
	There's no rules here.
	The death of the family is also the death of rules.
	And that's why everyone is such a fat pig.
	And that's why no one in my generation knows how to behave.
	It's not malicious.
	It's not that they're dicks.
	They're just clueless.
	I like to let a point sit for a bit after.
	Yeah, no, that is good.
	All right, let's get down to the news.
	But before we do, let's look at this smoking hot dude.
	Speaking of no rules, this is a gay Hispanic gentleman.
	I just discovered him while I was looking up fat people.
	And he calls himself a plus size model.
	He's size quadruple XL.
	And as often happens when men get incredibly fat, they grow gigantic breasts.
	So instead of him, and I can show this on the show because it's a topless man, instead of him going, uh-oh, I should probably get it together, maybe do one push-up a year, he accepts that he has triple Ds.
	So he wears Braziers.
	This picture is my favorite.
	Yeah.
	Because gays are so horny that that's a thing.
	Like, he gets worshipped.
	Someone puts butter and oil on that big gunt of his and washes it.
	So he's a plus-size model in this era where model just means I post for pictures and put them on Instagram.
	That looks exactly like Anthony Zenhauser.
	Who's that?
	He's from the Creepy Corner show.
	Again, I don't care.
	When everyone is racist, no one is racist.
	When everything is beautiful, no one is beautiful.
	Speaking of dilution, we have diluted beauty down to...
	I don't care.
	We have diluted beauty down to nothing.
	If this guy and his giant tits are sexy, then nothing is...
	Look at him!
	And the crazy part is, if you could put those boobs on a normal chick, they're kind of nice.
	They could be, yeah, they could redeem a five into like maybe a six rubber.
	The only thing worse than a man having tits is a man having good tits.
	Yeah.
	The better tits you have as a man, the worse they are.
	That makes sense.
	Dude, and it's, you know, the aesthetic with fat, disgusting pigs being unattractive is biological.
	You're dying.
	Oh, I meant to do this.
	I was thinking about this at the Mets game last night, which was fucking awesome.
	I spent the whole time talking to God and saying, look, dude, we have guys facing 15 years in prison.
	I'm not going to waste your time with some dumb prayer.
	I know you don't get involved in sports.
	You shouldn't be involved in sports.
	However, we're in the 10th inning.
	It's tied.
	A big hit could get Rosario Dawson off of third, and we would win this game, and we'd have a chance at the wild card.
	So on the off chance, you're bored and there's no starving children in Africa.
	Could you just sort of throw as an easy one?
	A softball?
	God has to have a sense of humor.
	It's one of the great things about humanity.
	I want to devote a whole episode to Should You Pray for Sports?
	Because Ron Coleman, the lawyer that's helped me fight the SPLC, he says yes.
	He says God sweats the small stuff.
	I don't agree.
	I'm more of a deist who says God pushed the first domino, knowing where it would end up, but you can still blow your head off.
	You have free will.
	That being said, you are who you are from birth.
	So I could have been adopted by Chinese people, and right now I'd have a podcast where I'd be like, welcome back to the white Chinaman.
	Booyah nigga.
	Do you know what Buoya nigga means?
	That means something what.
	Nigga is that.
	Oh, gotcha, good.
	Buoya means no.
	So last time I was there, they were trying to sell us all these fake watches and stuff.
	And me and this guy, Jake, were just, Buoya nigga.
	Booyah, nigga.
	Booyah, nigga.
	It's gotta be fun.
	I heard stand-up comic ones go, I don't like Chinese.
	I don't like Chinese people.
	You know why?
	Because they say nigga all the time.
	They're racist.
	Yeah.
	I heard a funny joke about Japanese people.
	And it's such like a Brian Regan clean comedy joke, but it's like everything, the verb is always at the end.
	So it's like, this hat I was buying.
	So a lot of times you find out what's going on at the end of the sentence.
	So that's why Japanese people listen like this.
	They go, oh, oh.
	I was like, this is pretty damn good.
	I don't know what's racist anymore.
	No, me neither.
	I wonder if, like, before this whole thing happened, was there things that I actually thought were racist?
	Oh, that's a good question.
	I'm glad you brought that up, too.
	Because I was talking to a friend in LA, and I said, remember hipster racism was a thing when girls, when Lena Dunham first came out with girls, like in 2009?
	And she goes, yeah, sometimes I think I was a hipster racist.
	And I go, oh, that's nice.
	I'm talking to someone who joined a cult.
	You're a Scientologist now?
	And she goes, no, think about it.
	There was a lot of really bad racism in Hollywood, even going back to when we grew up.
	Can you give me an example?
	And she goes, 16 candles, that Chinese guy.
	Dong duk dong.
	Yeah, look him up.
	Yeah.
	Lo duk dong.
	Every time he came on, a big, what do you call those?
	Gong gong.
	A gong.
	A gong would go, dong ying ying, ding, dong, ding, ding, dong, dong.
	And I think that you'll find a montage on YouTube.
	Now, this is going to sound a mental patienty, but how is that racist?
	It's not.
	It's a cartoon.
	Right?
	Here, turn it up for my deaf ear.
	He's...
	Very clever dinner.
	He's an exchange to.
	I can't hear a thing.
	I don't know about you.
	...into interesting round pie.
	It's a key.
	How do you spell?
	You're literally tripping over all the garbage by your desk.
	I love visiting with grandma and grandpa and writing letters to parents and pushing lawn mowing machines so grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed.
	Hurdia!
	He gets a hot chick in the movie.
	Now, yes, it's an exaggeration, it's stereotypical.
	When I talk to people in LA about this, by the way, this is one of the cases where when you say it to people, lefties, they go, I can't tell if you're kidding or not.
	How can you not see how racist that is?
	But let me give you an example.
	Say there was a Scottish foreign exchange student, right?
	And he had a tartan tam on with a pom-pom on the top, and he always had a bottle of whiskey with him.
	And every time he showed up at the dinner table, it was like, bagpipes going, and he's like, great, see you, people.
	Oh, what?
	Hi guys.
	And he's always banging the table and yelling at people.
	Would that be racist?
	It's a cartoon exaggeration of the culture used for comedic purposes.
	This really, I know this sounds stupid, but this long duck dong in 16 Candles is really the ground zero of defining racism.
	I don't think it's racist.
	I think it's...
	Asians love Asian jokes and stuff like that.
	Everyone does.
	Not black Americans, but you do like a sombrero joke to someone in Mexico.
	They're Like, oh, cool, you're wearing our hats.
	You know what we're, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They like to be recognized.
	You're into our stuff.
	I told my dad the LR thing.
	He's like, you know, you know, just the LR thing.
	What left and right is?
	No, with Japanese people, they can't pronounce their L's, so they say it like an R. And he goes, I'm Sally.
	I don't understand.
	Sally.
	Yeah, he goes, oh, no, I don't know.
	I was like, you never heard that before?
	How could you not know that?
	I know.
	I was like, well, I was like, because he's in LA, so maybe people are too polite to bring that up or something.
	He doesn't watch TV, so he doesn't hear people go, so Sally.
	He doesn't watch in hot water, so he'd be shocked.
	So I told him, I was like, he's like, I don't know.
	I was like, well, say my name.
	He's like, Rion.
	I was like, now say, like, ah, the animal, like a lion.
	He's like, lion.
	Oh.
	And then he understood.
	Holy shit.
	It's the same word.
	Is he like 55 years old?
	He's just learning that now?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	See, that's probably racist.
	All right.
	So that brings me to the Griffin.
	There's this restaurant in Atwater Village, which is a great place to live in.
	I hate LA.
	Hate it.
	But if you have to move there, go to Atwater Village.
	At least there's like one tree.
	So Proud Boys, this is like a couple years ago now, I think.
	They go, let's go get a beer.
	All right, we'll go to the Griffin.
	Multiracial group, right?
	Lots of, in fact, I believe this night there was more Browns than there were whites.
	So they go there, and they're having a quiet little meetup in the corner.
	Cheers.
	Yeah, America.
	They're not like, USA, USA.
	They're just chilling out.
	And I think Tim Heidecker, one of the Tim and Eric guys and some comedian who made a lot of money in the lottery, literally, and has nothing to do, decides, oh my God, there's a Nazi rally at the Griffin.
	So they call their beta troops.
	And again, as the New York Post pointed out, all of this is just about masculinity.
	It's not about fascism.
	It's not about white supremacy.
	It's not about anti-Semitism.
	It's not about homophobia.
	It's not about Islamophobia.
	It's about betas versus alphas.
	Same with the mods and the rockers.
	Same with the punks and the skinheads.
	Same with the movie Animal House.
	It's all alphas versus betas.
	Actually, the Animal House is probably not a good example of that because they were both pretty alpha.
	Anyhow, so this crew shows up and says, you're having a Nazi rally.
	And the bouncer goes, what are you talking about?
	And the guy goes, those guys over there, they are white nationalists.
	And the bouncer goes, wait, wait a minute.
	There's a lot.
	Hold on a second.
	You may have noticed my pocket square keeps sinking.
	Here's a handy tip.
	Take out your pocket square.
	And this is, by the way, is made from, I think, Michaels of London.
	It's just a cuff of a sleeve folded and stitched together.
	Get something like a tissue, or as we say in Canada, a serviette.
	Stuff that into your pocket.
	Crunch it down so it doesn't bulge.
	And now this has nowhere to fall to.
	It's a little high.
	There.
	Now, if that sinks at any point during the show, don't listen to anything I say ever, including Barack Obama being a monkey.
	Never said that.
	So anyway, the bouncer, when he's instructed to get rid of these evil people, he goes, wait a minute, there's lots of black guys and stuff there, right?
	And then the guy goes, why are you defending them?
	And he goes, and then the bouncer freaks out himself and he goes, I don't know why I'm defending them.
	I don't even know these guys.
	In a panic, right?
	And so they go, get out of here.
	So the bouncer was mad at himself for saying, why am I defending these guys?
	And pointing out that there's lots of black and brown people in this group that you just called white nationalists.
	He's mad at himself for questioning the narrative, right?
	So you think, well, that's peak clown world.
	They get kicked out.
	I managed to raise $5,000 to file a complaint against the Griffin for kicking someone out based on their political affiliations.
	The law in California is actually incredibly strong when it comes to this.
	You know why?
	Because back during the McCarthyism days, communists were getting kicked out of restaurants and being denied service.
	So the commies in the legislature came up with a law that said, you can't deny anyone service in California if they have political beliefs that you disagree with.
	So it was designed for commies.
	But the only time I think it's been used was a Nazi, not a proud boy, a bonafide Nazi.
	He had a big pin on his shirt that had a swastika on it.
	And he wanted to eat at some diner.
	They said no.
	And they begged him, just take off the pin.
	And he was probably a mentally ill weirdo.
	And he said, no, I'm not taking it off.
	So he sued and won.
	So that's easy.
	Precedent set.
	Wrote it up.
	Let's fuck with the Griffin for this bullshit.
	We've been forced into lawfare.
	You see what happens when we try to get physical and take care of it on our own.
	We end up with 15 years in prison.
	Okay, let's do lawfare.
	SPLC, I'll see you in court.
	No lawyer, I paid the money, had the complaint.
	All you had to do was file it.
	Now, it was written up in D.C., so it has to be filed in the district that the event happened in.
	Not one lawyer in that entire area would dare have their name on the case.
	So the complaint's just sitting there rotting.
	Okay, well, I guess the Griffin won.
	It gets crazier.
	The Griffin was so ashamed of themselves for not kicking the Proud Boys out sooner, huh?
	That it shut the restaurant down for a few days.
	Then it had a benefit for the SPLC to fight racism.
	Yeah, there it is.
	You know what the takeaway was?
	After all of this, the Griffin's a Nazi place.
	Dude, is this Crazier than blacks in the 1950s?
	Sorry, you had Negros at your place.
	No, but we kicked them out immediately.
	Too late.
	You got Negro germs all over your chairs.
	We're not letting anyone go in there.
	Shut it down, boys.
	They allow Negros.
	You should have seen them come in.
	And they, wait a minute, the guys were black.
	So it is that.
	Yeah.
	So yeah, an impromptu meeting of far-right group, and they're not far right.
	If you're against the drug war and you're pro-gay marriage, then you're not far right.
	Led to a ruckus at the bar, which led to a cavalcade of negative attention for the bar.
	Some felt that the ownership and management didn't go far enough to disavow the group, both at the moment and in the immediate aftermath, even after the Griffin closed for a time and reopened with a charity event to benefit the SBLC and several local charities.
	Now those same owners have sold off the Griffin to a first-time bar and restaurant group with long taz to Los Angeles and the music industry.
	While they won't be immediately changing the property, the plan is to eventually close and reopen as Moon Room.
	How about you call the fucking place Clown World, you losers?
	Moonroom.
	That is bananas.
	What a sin.
	See, this is why I keep comparing Antifa and the left in general to ISIS, to radical Islam.
	They're insatiable.
	We gave Islam Pakistan.
	We chopped off India's head and said, here, have Pakistan.
	Pakistan's a hellhole where more Muslims get murdered than anywhere else in the world.
	It's incredibly dangerous to be Muslim in that Muslim country.
	No one kills more Muslims than Muslims.
	Saudi Arabia, I'm wearing a burqa.
	I'm on your side.
	I agree with you.
	I hate that women look slutty.
	No, your burqa's wrong.
	They're insatiable.
	And that's because the thing that they're demanding, they don't really believe in.
	They just want power and control.
	That's why we keep hearing about fascism and white supremacy and all this stupid crap.
	It's not about that.
	It's about I want to dominate you.
	So I'm just going to yell the word Nazi.
	I don't really mean it.
	Which is why I had an epiphany at the Mets game yesterday.
	The singer of Bad Religion was there, and I saw his wife.
	She's got a huge pair of jugs.
	Nice.
	She's very attractive.
	I don't want to fuck someone like that in the summer.
	Why?
	Too hot.
	Big boobs.
	It's all sweaty in your face.
	Yeah, they had the heat.
	But in January, after a hard day's work and some soup, you really want some big bazoombas.
	Anyway, she was sitting next to me.
	Maybe look up him at the Mets game.
	I don't know if they have footage of that.
	Greg Graffin.
	And she had a Bernie shirt on, and I thought, I don't hate Bernie supporters.
	Yes, socialism is a scourge.
	Socialism is why Venezuela is a hellhole.
	And it ruins countries.
	It gets people killed.
	And the whole concept of taking someone else's money because you decide how you're going to control equality, that pisses me off.
	But at least they don't bullshit about fascism all the time.
	I know Bernie said racism and Trump is a racist a couple times, whatever.
	For the most part, Bernie bros are about policy and not identity politics.
	And I kind of respect that.
	Now, I think they're wrong, but at least they're being sincere.
	At least Bernie isn't a liar.
	And that's pretty fucking rare.
	Kamala Harris pretending that she's an African-American.
	Corey Booker speaking Hispanics, speaking Spanish, sorry, at rallies.
	They're all phonies.
	Oh, look, he's got a fret on.
	So I kind of like Bernie supporters.
	And you go, but he wants to empty our bank accounts.
	Yeah, so do the DNC.
	I mean, they're calling themselves Democratic Socialists.
	The squad is just as socialist as Bernie.
	And where Bernie wants to tax you, they want to take money for reparations and various, you know, enforcement agencies.
	Various studies to take away your guns.
	All right.
	We're going to take calls relatively soon.
	I'm already losing my voice.
	I guess the larynx is like a muscle.
	And if you don't use it, it starts to wear out.
	That is really true, yeah.
	But this is cool.
	Ben Shapiro, I know you're not listening, but if someone can get this message to him, Ben, scream into a pillow for one hour before every show.
	You need to lose that Stuart Little voice.
	I don't actually know what you're talking about.
	Apparently, President Trump has changed my voice in Twitter.
	I don't have any content, but I think I do sound like that.
	Does that sound like him?
	It's okay.
	Ben, doing a Ben Shapiro is like doing an Alex Jones.
	Yeah, it's kind of hacky.
	It is a little hacky.
	Oh, speaking of what, do you think that the Jordan Peterson thing we heard, you want to play that?
	Okay.
	Somebody sent this in, and I can't tell.
	I think it's 100% Jordan Peterson via one of these cameo things.
	So let's see.
	Yeah.
	I just wanted to say that I am extremely proud of you for bringing Ryan back onto the show.
	To be quite honest, I stopped watching when you decided to part ways with him.
	I'm glad you did the right thing.
	Uhoru.
	That's pretty good.
	I think that's him, though.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm learning it, too, about that?
	When you do your Jordan Peterson, you've got to be more gravelly.
	Exactly.
	Yes, 100%.
	Yep.
	I'm trying to see if you sent that in.
	Noah sent that in.
	Thanks, Noah.
	Okay.
	I have to try to be a little more gravelly.
	So I realized something.
	Remember that video I did?
	I did on the 17th of July, Get Off My Lawn, episode 38.
	It's called Choosing Targets.
	And I listed seven lives destroyed by Antifa.
	Because the running trope with the alt left is, you guys killed Heather Heyer.
	We haven't killed anyone.
	Which, by the way, in a world where we have 20 black men dying every day, 500,000 obesity epidemic related deaths, and 100 opioids a day.
	Here's a really stupid question that I have to use a calculator for because I was thinking about this.
	What's worse?
	Because I was thinking fat people are like junkies, right?
	They're both killing themselves.
	We have 100 opioid ODs a Day times 365.
	I'm embarrassed to be doing this in a calculator.
	So that's only 36,500.
	So obesity is 10 times worse than being a heroin addict.
	Damn.
	Obesity is 10 times worse than being a heroin addict.
	Can we stop applauding junkies?
	They're food addicts.
	It's like when Big A broke Anthony's $200 chair at his house.
	Anthony goes, how is that different from some junkie wrecking part of my house with his addiction?
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	I used to hang out with a fat guy named Fat Peter.
	There's certain furniture he couldn't sit on.
	So he'd just be standing around.
	Like when you went to someone's parents' house and they had nice dining room chairs, he'd just have to stand around because he knew he would destroy it.
	Or at that horse rocking ranch, there was this insanely fat pig, like this fat, and she got on a horse and I swear I could see the legs starting to bend.
	And so the guys went, get her off, and I didn't see her again.
	I guess they didn't have a Clydesdale that could handle her.
	I'm not joking.
	You didn't see her or that horse ever again.
	But you saw a bunch of people.
	I saw a truck from a glue factory reverse into the ranch and then exchange money.
	Isn't it cool that a little Jewish guy became a cowboy for real?
	Like he spent his days galloping on that ranch.
	Oh, and I heard some gossip about it.
	It's a family place now run by his son Steve.
	But in the 80s, I met some old fogies there who were like, woohoo, this place in the 80s.
	There was cocaine.
	Oh, dude, I was.
	Orgies.
	The boomers knew how to party.
	I will give them that.
	They don't know how to stop partying, I think.
	I hear a lot of people.
	They're very good at self-indulgence.
	A lot of boomers are still partying out there, man.
	A lot of them are Sephardic now.
	They converted to Sephardic Judaism.
	I don't think you convert to Sephardic.
	What did I say?
	I can't hear.
	I have waxed.
	I said they're still partying, man.
	Anyway, there was this guy in Wildwood who used to come around the hotel and just bring Coke.
	He looked like old Egon from Ghostbusters.
	Every year.
	How many guys are in jail because of fucking Coke?
	You know how many people are regularly using cocaine right now in America?
	7 million.
	Now, if you were to tally up how many have done it, what would you say?
	It gets weird with the Rust Belt and the Midwest, and Southerners tend to prefer meth to Coke.
	But as far as coastal towns, like New Yorkers, how many New Yorkers have done Coke?
	I've got to say it's one in two.
	One in two is a bit.
	I'd say one in three is close.
	Because you've got age differences.
	So here's how you show it.
	Say you're at a party and you said, hey, I got Coke.
	Like at a 35-year-old's party.
	Maybe it's just my world, and I don't do Coke.
	But maybe it's just where I grew up.
	But that person would be like, oh, okay, I guess they're going to be doing Coke over there.
	Like if you walked into the bathroom at a bar, that's a better example in Manhattan.
	And there's guys going, would you go, oh, my lord?
	Like I would if they were shooting up heroin.
	I go, Jesus Christ.
	The fuck these people doing heroin in the bathroom?
	Yeah.
	But if I walked in and people were doing Coke, I'd go, oops, sorry.
	It would be the same as if I saw some chick blowing a dude.
	I'd go, whoopsie, Daisy.
	Yeah, there's really nothing to see there.
	None of my beeswax.
	Nothing weird going on there.
	It's just fellatio.
	There you go.
	Of course, when you see a rock star die on a Friday night at 3 a.m., it's pretty suspicious.
	Like Joe Strummer, John Peel, John Antwistle, I think they died of doing this too late and this little ticker couldn't keep up.
	Just a theory.
	It's hard to find that stat.
	That's hard.
	What?
	That's hard to find that stat.
	All right, let's look at this new Antifa death toll.
	Because on the 17th of July, I calculated four deaths directly related to Antifa.
	I blame them for Heather Heyer's death.
	They spooked that lunatic James Fields into driving into the crowd.
	Also, why did you bring Heather Heyer there?
	Why did you bring an overweight girl in flip-flops and tights to what you say is a huge riot?
	I remember I saw one thing with demonstrators fighting Antifa and Antifa said to the Patriots, they go, look at you, you're all dudes.
	And the guy goes, yeah, we're at a fight.
	Why did you bring girls to a fight?
	Like, imagine the 1950s with the rumbles and they had the chains and stuff and the rumble seat in the back of the T-Bird.
	Why would you bring girls to that?
	Hey, you, in the poodle skirt and the two-tone shoes, get over here with your cashmere sweater on.
	We're brawling.
	So Heather hires one.
	Nathan Hose was this guy who in New Orleans, who a sad lost soul, probably a junkie.
	He killed himself after he faced riot charges for a Disrupt J20 thing that Antifa got him into.
	And then, of course, Pim Fortin in Europe, who was murdered, gay guy who was anti-immigration, murdered by Antifa.
	That's just the actual deaths, right?
	Yeah, that's Nathan Hose.
	There he is.
	This is what they do.
	They find someone whose dad recently died and they prey on them.
	They all seem to look like that, too, that last picture you showed.
	That poor kid.
	But not the one when he has facial hair, but above.
	No, not that one.
	The other one.
	This one.
	That one.
	They're the same guy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They grow facial hair after they join the cult.
	But I forgot one.
	There was the shooter guy who went to the ICE facility.
	No, no, I'll get to that.
	Oh, sorry.
	Oh, wait.
	What shooter?
	Oh, yeah, I forgot all about him.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Pimfortun was the guy who was killed by Antifa, not from being in Antifa.
	Right, but I'm lumping them together.
	See, this is what I want to do.
	If you kill yourself because you were following Antifa's propaganda, you're a victim of Antifa.
	It's just like the Muslims in Pakistan killed by Muslims.
	No one kills more Antifa than Antifa.
	But yeah, you're right.
	There was the ice shooter.
	I forgot all about him.
	Willem Van Spronsen.
	I got to do a free speech presents on this.
	All right.
	So that brings us to four, five, and then six.
	Charles Landeros.
	how's this for irony?
	He helps Antifa train with guns in Oregon, and he's all about smashing the patriarchy.
	And he begins by smashing the patriarch himself by fucking with cops until they shoot him in the head.
	He's going through a custody battle with his wife.
	I mean, he's the patriarch of the family, and his family fell apart.
	So he smashed the patriarchy.
	And then to truly smash it, he messes with the cops, resists arrest, pulls a gun on them, and they shoot him.
	And his shirt says, smash the patriarchy and chill.
	Then he gets himself killed, the patriarchy, and he's dead, which is the ultimate chill, right?
	Beware of people's shirts when they say, kill dads and stop moving.
	So he's yelling at them, screaming at them, refusing, and he's armed.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	Look, you see that?
	They got in a lot of trouble for this before the video came out.
	And you see, as he's going down, you see him with his gun like that.
	Damn.
	Shot him in the head, dead.
	Sheesh.
	Charles Landeros, 30, was fatally shot in the head by Officer Steve Tim at the middle school of his daughter.
	At the time of the shooting, the leader of the Antifa Milton Group Red Arm and founder of Community Armed Self-Defense was at the middle school resisting arrest.
	So now we're up to six.
	That was.
	Number seven, Connor Betts, the Daytona, Ohio shooter, was an Antifa guy.
	I know this sounds crazy to call a mass murderer a victim, but in a sense, he was a victim of the brainwashing that goes on with this crazy alt-left bullshit.
	There's Nazis everywhere stuff.
	ICE people are Nazis.
	So they're Antifa's first mass killer, which brings us to 7 to 17, the 10 people he murdered.
	Show their faces?
	We don't talk about the victims enough.
	We always talk about the shooter, and he gets his fame, which is often what he's going for.
	But we don't talk about the dead bodies.
	Was that the Moira?
	Nope.
	It says plus 10 after Connor Betts.
	1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000, 4, 1,000, 5, 1,000, 6, 1,000, 7, 1,000.
	Oh, yeah, wait, wait.
	Okay, there we go.
	So let's read their names.
	All right.
	We have Megan Betts.
	Wait, are they related?
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	His sister was in.
	Wow.
	And I think that was purely coincidental.
	Holy crap.
	By the way, notice all the people of color who were killed by this Antifa guy.
	Right.
	Megan Betts, Monica Brickhouse, Nicholas Cumer, Derek Fudge, Thomas McNichols, Lois Elglesby, Said Saleh, Logan Turner, and Beatrice Warren Curtis.
	Huge variety.
	Now, I won't get too into it.
	I've been looking into the Proud Boys fight.
	Do you remember this?
	Actually, go back to show John, John Zieg Heiling.
	It's at the top of the notes.
	It's pretty fucking mental.
	So, Proud Boys, the day they were awaiting, or before they were awaiting sentencing, Paparazzi kept taking pictures of John.
	What's his name again?
	John Kinsman.
	John, yeah.
	I just know him as Big J. And he's going, get out of here.
	Get out of my fet.
	Get out of my fet.
	Now, the only way you can make this get out of here into a Zeek Heil, which I will not even do on this show because it'll be screen grab.
	So when I go like this, I'm doing a Zeek Heil.
	So the only way to make this look like a Zeek Heil is to get your camera one foot off the ground and then go.
	And they actually had the balls to call this a Roman salute.
	And I was talking to my coach the other day and I go, you heard about this?
	15 fucking years for a brawl that normally would be probation at worst.
	And he goes, yeah, but you got to rein in your boys a bit, dude.
	That's not funny, Zeke Eiling.
	And I go, what are you talking about?
	I saw the picture.
	It's just like, what was he thinking?
	I go, he was not Zeke Eiling.
	He'd never do that in a million years.
	It would never occur to him.
	Black wife, four black kids.
	In fact, if those guys end up with 15 years, his kids won't have a father.
	So in my ruined lives category, which is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, that'll go up to like 10.
	Because it'll be the whole family destroyed.
	And max, too.
	A guy, Jeffrey Young, is already in Rikers for this fight.
	He's serving like, I don't know, 15 weekends.
	He's done in November or something like that.
	So he just works his ass off all week.
	Then on Friday, goes to Rikers.
	It takes about five hours to go through all the processing, just like you're going to jail, you know, for 11 months.
	It's the same amount of shit.
	Sit there for five hours, read 900 books.
	That's the one upside is these guys end up reading.
	If you ever meet someone who just got out of jail, they're always like, actually, no, Robert E. Lee was only at the Battle of Gettysburg for about four days.
	He had to go off to North Carolina because Fort DeQuesne was being established by the French.
	And then again, that's one perspective.
	Now I've read another book that says something constantly.
	A lot of people disagree.
	A lot of people think that Robert E. Lee was actually working with the English.
	I'm doing a terrible job of history, by the way.
	I always learn that shit in a book, and then, like, sands through the hourglass.
	Yeah.
	Like, there was about two months where I was the Civil War buff.
	Oh, dude.
	I knew theoretical physics for two months.
	Yeah, it was all about it.
	I don't even know what Robert E. looks like.
	A statue?
	Isn't he a statue?
	He's a statue guy.
	That would be funny if a guy's only claim to fame was that he was a statue.
	I'm a famous statue.
	So that was crazy.
	That's Robert.
	Yeah, that's what I figured.
	Yeah, that's about right.
	See, then the sand comes back when someone shows you.
	But when you click away from that, it clicks away from my brain.
	That might be living in the computer age.
	So, at the risk of boring you with too much, no, let's get to, let's just do one of the guys, Caleb Perkins.
	I'll do a more in-depth version of this later.
	But 20 minutes before the Proud Boys fight, where you see the perp Zeke Heiling, 20 minutes before the fight that he's on trial for, a mob of Antifa beat up Paul Miller and took his equipment.
	Caleb Perkins, Kai Russo, and Finn Bar Sloanum.
	I'll be getting into these guys quite a bit because I want to make them as famous as our guys.
	They beat the shit of the reporter, took his stuff, right?
	That's petite larceny, assault.
	And then the cops caught them.
	They caught three of them, the three I just mentioned.
	And those guys got away scot-free.
	Now, one of them, Caleb Perkins, they're all gay, by the way.
	He has a history of fighting cops.
	Here he is on trial.
	Look at what he's wearing, by the way, to the trial.
	Doesn't that say Tomes?
	These guys don't take this seriously because they know they're getting off because they have all these SJW lawyers.
	So he shows, by the way, that picture you just saw was at a Black Lives Matter thing a couple years ago in New York where he elbowed a cop in the face.
	Not a big deal, apparently.
	And I've talked to cops who say, yeah, the only thing that will get you in shit is if you spit in my face, but you can bite me, punch me, and the courts just go, well, you're a cop in New York.
	What did you think was going to happen?
	This is what you signed up for, pussy.
	So Caleb, I'm only going to talk about Caleb today, by the way.
	So Caleb elbows a cop in the face.
	His boyfriend was also in the melee.
	His boyfriend shows up wearing a dirty t-shirt that says, I didn't do it in marker across it.
	Both getaway scot-free.
	But just so you understand what we're up against here, because this is news to me.
	I thought lawyers were like to kill a mockingbird.
	The woman you see in that picture, what's her name?
	Moira?
	Go back to the picture.
	Okay.
	Oh, the Moira Meltzer Cohen.
	Moira Meltzer.
	Now look at that picture.
	Scroll down a bit.
	She's got a kafaya on, which is the Palestinian scarf that means destroy Israel.
	She's Jewish, right?
	Pro-Palestinian.
	She's got a lip ring on.
	And this is the kind of, when you read about her, you realize you're learning about a SJW blue-haired radical.
	Moira uses the personal pronouns she and they.
	And this just shows you how ridiculous it is to use they as a pronoun.
	They are admitted to practice law in New York State, the southern, northern, western districts of New York, western districts, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	They hold degrees from the University of Michigan, University of Wisconsin, and the Cooney School of Law.
	They can be reached out, and they have her email.
	This is the same woman who represented Chelsea Manning, the radical anarchist who with Vic Berger doxed A Night for Freedom and had an old Jewish man almost beat to death under the suspicion of being a Nazi.
	He went into cardiac arrest and David Campbell is facing 15 years in prison.
	In fact, he's on my list of destroyed lives by Antifa, David Campbell, not the guy that got beat up.
	The unfortunate thing, I'm attracted to slightly plump Jewish girls.
	So it's hard to hate.
	And that lip ring is like, I mean, business.
	The lip ring is a deal breaker, though.
	Really?
	Oh, I hate facial piercings.
	It looks so insecure, especially when girls with a weird nose get something here.
	It's like, don't look at my big nose.
	Look down here.
	I kind of like.
	What are you trying to do, smoke and mirrors, illusions?
	I guess makeup is sort of an illusion.
	But check this out from her own website.
	My vision of the relationship between law and justice is shaped by my commitment to radical social movements.
	This is how, when you go to court in New York City, this is who represents you.
	And she does a great job.
	She gets cop beaters off.
	They're set free.
	All right, we should set up the calls.
	Okay.
	I talk too much about Proud Boys and Antifa.
	I'm boring myself.
	All right, guys.
	I bore myself just thinking about you.
	I scared myself.
	I thought you were going to go into it.
	I bore myself.
	Of course you would, because that's your kind of music.
	You like women singing about men.
	I got a good one.
	I got boring with myself.
	I'm boring with myself.
	That's a good one.
	You know what?
	We should do a whole segment on I Hate Sexy Music.
	Like, you know that song?
	You can leave your hat on.
	It's like clearly about a woman wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat being fucked from behind by an old fat bald guy who looks like he hangs out in Margaritaville.
	That's what they're going for.
	And I don't want that image in my head, Dad.
	You can leave your hat on.
	Or even that, like, don't believe me, just watch.
	Yeah, that is sexy.
	Sexy music sucks.
	Yeah, why am I listening to you be sexual?
	I don't like that.
	I don't like jokey music either.
	I don't like ween.
	I don't like funny songs.
	Rastafari and reggae junkie ju.
	Like weird al.
	Music doesn't.
	I don't like jokes in music.
	It's serious poetry.
	It's like sex.
	I had an argument once with this chick who was dating a friend of mine, who was a comedian.
	And I was saying, you like to joke around?
	Oh, they did a thing.
	He said, why don't I meet you in Vegas?
	Because he was working in LA and she was in New York.
	And I'll just show up at the bar.
	You wear lingerie under your clothes and we'll pick each other up.
	And she said, we did it.
	I showed up and then he started.
	I just burst out laughing.
	And I just went, you ruined it.
	You wrecked it.
	I go, you don't joke around during sex, do you?
	And she goes, yeah, if something's funny.
	I go, Sarah, no.
	That's not the place.
	It's very serious.
	Like, say there was the loudest queef in the world during intercourse.
	I wouldn't acknowledge it in any way, shape, or form.
	I don't break for queefs.
	I got a job to do.
	That's a shirt.
	It's actually like sparring.
	If we're just joking around and we're throwing a medicine ball around or doing some sort of relay where I punch your glove and you punch my glove, I might joke around.
	But when it's an actual fight, zero jokes.
	It's life or death.
	With fighting, you're risking death.
	With fucking, you're creating life.
	Those are not comedy zones.
	And music is just a simulation of sex.
	That's why rock and roll is for young people.
	And that's why the beat is like, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan.
	It's ultimately just sex.
	you can leave your hat on.
	Wow.
	Wha-wa-wa-pa-pa-pa- sniff
	All right, should we take some calls?
	This is going to suck, by the way.
	No, no, this will be fun.
	It's going to be a shit show.
	Yeah, it'll be alright.
	So, we got, what do we got here?
	Alright, they're still screening.
	Let's just talk to them.
	Hey, 913, you're on the line.
	Hey, guys.
	Got a few questions for you.
	I'll just ask them.
	When will Miles just burst up here?
	Yeah, I agreed to do Miles for Rebel.
	I don't know, man.
	I kind of sick of him.
	Just like I was just saying about not being honest and getting to the point.
	Miles is like, you have to, you want to make a point, but you have to go this way and circle around and then come back to it.
	Sometimes I'd rather just say that is a thing rather than find a sarcastic route to get there.
	And is he funny?
	I don't even know anymore.
	Yeah, he's hilarious.
	I think he is your most underrated viewer, fan.
	I don't know what you call him, but yeah, people love him.
	Get him on.
	Also, Ryan, that Jordan Peterson voice, just go to notjordanpeterson.com and you can create your own phrases.
	What?
	That's awesome.
	And then lastly, you just mentioned that radical activist is trying to get cop beaters off.
	Is that a sexual innuendo?
	I'll listen off the air.
	Love you guys.
	Okay.
	I heard him.
	He said to get cop beaters off, which is a sexual innuendo.
	You want to hit this for a little bit?
	Yeah, let's hit it.
	I'm starting to feel guilty.
	Turning off that airspace.
	People pay money and I'm blasting them with an air conditioner.
	And you're half deaf.
	And I can't hear shit.
	Dang.
	It's kind of nice, though, in New York City being deaf.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	I like it.
	Okay.
	Fucking sirens.
	Hey, fireman, we know, we know, we know.
	You're there.
	We get it.
	My friend once said, just put the fire out and shut the fuck up.
	Yeah, there's no fire.
	I lived in New York for, what, 25 years now?
	I've seen two.
	Yeah.
	We're going to get a cat out of a tree.
	Bullshit.
	How many times have you seen a cat skeleton in a tree?
	Never.
	They'll be fine.
	They'll figure it out.
	We got Steve talking about circumcision.
	Steve, you're on the line.
	Hey, your new nickname is Circumcision Steve.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, Rod.
	How are you guys doing?
	Hello.
	Good.
	Yeah, I just wanted to say that I just feel like that there's like the biggest issue in the United States today is the fact that babies are having part of their penises cut off and I just find it odd that no one's really talking about it.
	I'll tell you why no one's talking about it because they're circumcised.
	Like I was listening to a, well this might help.
	I was listening to this black call-in show and one of the callers said, hey, why don't we ever talk about the lack of fathers in the black community?
	I mean that's a real.
	And then the two black hosts both went, well, I'm not going to judge someone else for the mistakes they may or may not have made.
	And they just totally killed the subject.
	And I got the feeling it's because those two guys have kids that they don't take care of anymore, or at least don't see very often.
	So I think it's really hard for a man to go, my penis is fucked.
	This is not the penis I'm supposed to have.
	But you're right.
	It is genital mutilation.
	They're so fucked.
	The penis is destroyed.
	Like, there's no benefits at all.
	There was an argument, like the Jews and Muslims did it a billion years ago because they argued if it was about cleanliness or something like that.
	Okay, well, let's go back in time and argue that.
	But in America, the anti-Semites like to blame Jews for this operation.
	It has nothing to do with that.
	Dr. Joseph Kellogg of Kellogg's Cornflakes was a sexual Puritan like a lot of the original pioneers.
	And he decided that we beat off too much, which is kind of true, actually.
	And he decided that if we make it feel less good, same reason Muslims circumcise women.
	If we make it feel less good, then young men will touch their dicks less.
	So let's cut the dick off.
	Let's cut the front off and lose some nerve endings.
	Maybe they can get on with their day a little better.
	That's the origin, the man behind Kellogg's cornflakes.
	Time to move on.
	Thanks, Steve.
	You know what?
	I just read up, too, that Kellogg's cornflakes were created because less flavorful food is less indulgent, therefore making you less horny and stuff like that.
	They were created as like a flavorless type of food.
	Is that true?
	Yeah, I just looked that up recently because he was a sexual puritan, yada yada.
	And yep.
	All right, we got screener situations.
	By the way, no, I just want to talk about this a little bit more.
	You got to see a circumcision tray that they use at the hospital.
	Did we just crash?
	No.
	It's a baby-shaped tray they put your kid in.
	There's a strap for the head.
	There's straps for the arms, straps for the legs.
	And then they sit there with the sharpest scissors you could ever imagine and go, sk.
	There's actually a story I read about once where the guy overdid it and he fucked it up and it got infected and the whole penis was destroyed.
	And they go, shit, let's just make a pussy.
	What?
	And they make it into a girl.
	And that kid grows up not knowing that it's a boy, has insane mental issues.
	And I think at the age of 14 or 15, he killed himself.
	That was all from circumcision.
	There you go.
	Oh, there's no, there's no, this one's lacking a head strap.
	When my brother was born, I saw a head strap and feet straps.
	I mean, this idea that it doesn't hurt.
	And the other argument I've heard is: I actually used to do this in a stand-up routine, where they go, I don't know.
	I go, why did you mutilate your fucking son?
	And they go, I don't know.
	I wanted his penis to look like mine.
	Why?
	For the imminent penis photo shoots you guys are doing together?
	Like, I see my dad's dick maybe once every four years.
	Why do you want to look like Haley's Comet?
	It's good luck.
	You got to put the AC back on.
	I'm dying here.
	It's 88 degrees.
	Yeah.
	And like, even if you did do penis photo shoots, why do they have to look the same?
	I don't understand it.
	I really don't.
	It's fucking cruel.
	Like, just watch it.
	Just go watch it.
	Another thing about how traumatic that is coming right out the womb, and now you get part of your dick cut off.
	It's like you're getting sexually assaulted right off the bat.
	And then they go, well, he's not going to remember it.
	Okay, well, you know, a lot of people don't remember what happened to them before they're four.
	That's usually like the cutoff because your brain has to make room for all this new news.
	So let's just burn three-year-olds with cigarettes and fucking slap them around and let them lose 50 pounds and gain 50 pounds.
	They're just toys.
	They're just sandbags, till yet they have memories.
	Yes, thank you for bringing that up, Coler.
	It's always annoyed me how that's never covered.
	Like, we don't cover anything of consequence.
	We should be going by the numbers, and the numbers are opioid, obesity, gang warfare.
	Not fucking some dude who didn't Z Kyle claiming he's Zeke Kyle.
	Okay, we got Gavin talking about joke music, but he has a good point.
	I don't see his name on here, but...
	You're on the line there.
	Nameless Rick or Rick.
	Nameless Rick.
	That's your new name.
	No, now you're Nameless Rick.
	Okay, what do you got?
	Fuck that.
	But Gavin, you were in a band called Leather Ass Budfuck and Anal Chinook, which is obviously just a fart.
	How is that not a joke?
	That's a very valid point.
	But we did have a lot of serious songs.
	Like we had a song called Women's Rights that said, Women can't articulate.
	Why can't women masturbate?
	I worry about the world's fate with men in control.
	And we sang seriously.
	Well, I mean, women's rights are a joke, though.
	Yeah, I'm not sure we could base all of my political beliefs on what I did when I was 18.
	And Leather Ass Buttfuck were actually kind of a serious band.
	Like, we, Leatherass Buttfuck wasn't meant to, it was meant to be like, whoa, weird sex fuck, like the band Revolting Cox.
	It was that kind of a name.
	Like, we're a psycho, dude.
	All right, next.
	Sorry, sir.
	You got to hang up on people faster.
	It's like, get the point out, no intro, and then hang up.
	All right, we're going to try this new format with you, caller.
	Go on now, 269.
	Oh, hey, sick.
	My name's Keelan.
	What's your opinion on Morrissey and how he's treated in the media?
	Because I feel like he's a leftist by nature, but he has a few slight right-wing beliefs, but he's shit on by the media just for, you know, he's slandered constantly.
	He's a vegetarian.
	I think he might be a vegan.
	He's definitely an animal rights activist.
	He won't play shows where they sell hot dogs.
	The guy is a raving homosexual.
	He hates Trump, but he loves Britain.
	You could call him a nationalist.
	And he thinks that the Muslim invasion, which has totally, permanently changed towns like Birmingham and Luton, where Tommy Robinson is from, and what's the one that had all the rapes, are Rotherham.
	Those towns are gone.
	Just completely gone.
	Literally every town, literally every town in Britain is a rape factory now.
	So it's not even like, you know.
	So he's against that.
	And you're allowed to be...
	Just like you're allowed to be more wary of evangelical Christians if you're gay.
	That's a new rule I just made up.
	So he dared to wear the British flag around himself, which he's been doing, by the way, since the Smiths.
	He hasn't changed.
	But because we're living in Trump derangement syndrome clown world, he's considered a Nazi.
	Just like the Griffin Bar, who lost their bar for not kicking us out enthusiastically enough, even though they did it immediately and then had a bunch of benefits for the sin of not knowing the political beliefs of 100% of their patrons.
	They're insatiable.
	Thank you, sir.
	We got more beating up the world.
	I don't know what that means.
	You're on, 570.
	Hey, dude.
	Hey, buddy.
	Hey, here's a quick little math thing.
	Hey, hey, here's a quick.
	Not so quick.
	I got a lot of echo there.
	I can't hear anybody.
	Okay, we're having echo problems.
	Can you not hear this?
	How's this?
	Oh, there you are.
	Okay.
	There we go.
	Ryan had the wrong setting.
	It worked for everybody else.
	No, maybe they're just tolerating the echo.
	Sorry, go ahead, Caller.
	Yeah, I think that's right.
	So here's a quick thing I like to do just for fun.
	The way you break down the population of the world by people that you can beat up.
	So you break it down by the numbers.
	Okay.
	Does that make any sense?
	Yeah, I guess you mean adult men?
	No, no, no, the whole entire world.
	So like babies in India?
	Unfortunately, yeah.
	Okay, so there's 7 billion people in the world.
	Half of them are women.
	So you can break it down pretty well.
	I've gotten up to like 94% or so.
	You think you could beat up 94% of the world?
	Yeah.
	Dude, in Moscow, everyone...
	When you crunch the numbers...
	I don't want to fight a lot of Africans.
	No.
	The Middle East.
	Well, you're going to have to, you know?
	That's when you look at the numbers.
	You have to do it.
	You know what would be cool?
	I don't want to beat up old women either, but.
	It has to be done.
	If you have a computer simulation where you fight every like a baby in the Congo, you fight every person in the world, but you get to reset after everyone.
	Because if you fought 10 guys in Moscow, you'd be jam.
	So after every fight, you go back to the strength you are right now.
	You can't train, so nobody trains for it.
	So what you are right now is what your strength is.
	So you've done a lot of homework on this, and you're up to night.
	You can beat up 94% of the world.
	At my peak, I was around 94.
	I need to crunch numbers again.
	I haven't done it in a while.
	You got to go back to the lab.
	But it's a good way to just, when you're bored.
	Yeah.
	What do you think Mike Tyson's number is?
	He's 99.9, I believe.
	I mean, he's got to be way up there.
	Can you imagine how that fucking feels?
	Because it's not just in the ring with all the rules.
	He could be walking down the streets in Ukraine and know that he could beat up every single person he sees.
	Even if they fight dirty, whatever you want.
	It must feel awesome to know that you could beat up pretty much everyone in the world.
	Well, and one of the reasons I bring it up is you're talking about you were in a bar in Boston and there's a guy across the bar staring at you, thinking wanting to fight you.
	And I was thinking, I lived in Boston for a long time.
	I'm wondering if that was me, because when I'm in bars by myself, I like to clear the room and see what I was doing there.
	Okay, it was actually just outside of Boston in a place that's a little more middle class.
	Maybe you can help jog my memory.
	How was it called?
	It's like, you know, Ann Arbor is.
	Was it a nice town?
	Wellesley?
	Yeah, what was it?
	Arlington.
	That's nice.
	Arlington, Wellesley, Weston.
	Ah, whatever.
	Those are all the nice suburbs.
	Anyway.
	You know what's great about boxing every day?
	Yeah, crunch the number sometimes.
	It's a lot of fun.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	You know what's great about boxing, too, is you walk down the street and there's no fear.
	And in New York, especially when you're me and everyone wants to kill you, you're always like, why is that guy standing near me?
	What's going on here?
	You're looking behind you.
	You're ready at all times.
	Someone comes up to you, hey man, are you Gavin?
	And you're like, yeah, why?
	Which one are you?
	What side are you on?
	I was actually, this is a good example.
	I was at a baseball game and this guy sits next to me.
	Hmm.
	We have seat skippers all the time.
	All right.
	And then he goes, so if this stays tight after ninth inning, it goes into overtime?
	And I was like, yeah.
	Yeah, it's called extra innings.
	What do you got?
	Oh, Dodgers.
	You have the Dodgers?
	You like the Dodgers?
	Yes.
	And then he's taking a video, right?
	And he keeps going really wide in the video, getting near my family.
	And I go, where are your seats?
	And he goes, oh, I followed someone in.
	I am much up there.
	And I thought, in another world, if I wasn't me, then I'd go, whatever, dude, okay.
	But no, I'm a hunted man.
	I can't be fucking around.
	I'm breaking the bro code.
	And you're out of here.
	Hey, get this guy out of here.
	This isn't his ticket.
	He's creeping me out.
	And I had him booted out.
	And he's like, wait to go.
	And I just went, fuck you.
	He could have just really been a pleasant guy.
	You don't know, but you can't take that chance.
	I'm not taking that chance.
	Exactly.
	And the beauty with sparring every day is you realize what percentage of fighting is fear.
	And I think it's upwards of 80.
	So you get that 80 down to like 55.
	And then you're walking down the street and you're like, what's going on here?
	Are you okay?
	Like this guy I box with, he goes, well, I'll go up to a giant in a bar and go, you got your Irish up?
	You want to go outside?
	Should we just settle this?
	Like some journalist at the Freedom of Speech Rally we did in D.C., he was like, so Charlottesville and blah, blah, blah, and Zieg Eiling.
	And he was bringing up all these myths.
	And I could tell he's trying to nail me.
	And I go, look, you don't like me, clearly, right?
	You're trying to frame me, which puts my family in jeopardy, puts my life in jeopardy.
	As we see, like the guy, the shooter in Dayton, Ohio hated Faith Goldie.
	He called her a Nazi.
	Faith Goldie's not a Nazi, but you just convinced this mass shooter that he is, that she is, and he's clearly a murderer.
	So you almost got Faith killed with your lies.
	So when they make up this lie, it puts our lives in jeopardy, puts my family in jeopardy.
	So that's a pretty big thing to want to do to me.
	So you want to hurt me, then I want to hurt you.
	So let's just go over there and fight.
	Let's get it over with.
	Why are we playing this little cat and mouse game?
	Otherwise, it's like a one-sided Cold War, where only one side knows that they're trying to attack the other people.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	Oh, that's it?
	He ends that abruptly, that stanza.
	You better let them.
	It does sound really jammed in at the end.
	Do you think self-deprecation is a form of a defense mechanism that was adapted through those who...
	Like, nobody...
	Not a lot of people like to beat up on somebody who's almost like a...
	You articulate your thoughts like a drunk driver trying to convince a cop that he hasn't had anything to drink.
	Let me guess what you're saying.
	Yeah, self-deprecation isn't the same as humiliation or ridicule, as we discussed on the other show.
	That's just ball busting that's so good you end up directing it to yourself.
	That's fine, that's funny.
	But humiliating a man is a totally different story.
	But I'm saying, you know, a fight usually happens when two adversaries go at it.
	Now, if one just lays down and says, eh, I'm kind of a piece of shit, then that kind of makes the other person be like, I'm not going to beat you up because you're a pussy.
	Yeah, maybe a noble person would do that.
	But, you know, our enemies aren't noble.
	And remember that dude, I forget his name.
	His nickname is like Proud Bai, like P-R-A-W-D or something.
	He got knocked out with a giant flagpole by Antifa.
	Then he was out, and they were kicking his unconscious head.
	Right.
	Is there anything more disturbing than seeing videos of an unconscious person being kicked in the head and the way the head just sort of flops?
	Bang, bang, bang.
	It's like killing a dead person.
	It's really horrible to look at.
	All right, let's take another call.
	We've got to get going soon, and I want to show some funny videos because this episode's been a little serious.
	Okay, uh, we got Mark calling about potential Republican nominees and Truck lose this year, Trump, or something.
	What?
	Hey, uh, hey, guys, what's going on?
	Hey, Tim.
	I think that no matter what happens next year, if Trump wins or loses, I think the Republicans have no chance but to nominate Tim Scott, the senator from South Carolina.
	And also, I just wanted to say that I thought what happened to you and I saw that News Jacks and Andrew Clavin were not really fair to the Proud Boys, and I saw you were kind of pissed off about that.
	I know Andrew Clavin.
	I think it's a bit of a not really boomers.
	All right, we're talking about each other.
	The delay is a little such, though, that if you...
	All right, let's hang up the call.
	You know who I saw was thinking about running against Trump is Joe Walsh.
	Not the rocker, but the political pundit.
	Joe Walsh was the guy that got duped by Sasha Baron Cohen, also a friend, but it's going to be a tough run.
	We should just take a second to acknowledge that Bet DSI, our sponsor this week, BetDSI.com, if you use the promo code Gavin, they will match whatever you put in, but you have to actually put some stuff in.
	I think it's $25.
	Go to betdsi.com and use promo code Gavin G-AVIN and get this limited time 100% bonus offer plus a $25 free wager to test the waters.
	Don't miss out and go make some extra cash betting this season.
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	We were doing it last night.
	The game was awesome.
	It was fun.
	It was tied.
	It went to extra innings.
	But we started trying to guess what the speed was before it appears on the board.
	And that could have been a bet right there.
	That made the whole game more fun.
	I mean, that's really what sports is.
	You're gambling.
	You go there.
	I used to think sports was a simulation of war.
	And war is natural.
	It's natural for tribes to want to fight and dominate and prove themselves their sort of like physical meritocracy.
	So it's just like the gladiator stadiums.
	In fact, they look like the gladiator stadiums, but you're watching a live war.
	And they used to do that.
	In the Civil War, people would bring out picnic blankets and just watch battles.
	Watch men die.
	There's something about us where we like to see that sort of gruesome clash.
	And then after last night, I was thinking, no, it's more like...
	It might be a simulation of war, or maybe it's a simulation of life.
	Like you have a business going, a restaurant, like our buddy, the Japanese guy who took over his dead sushi restaurant, and then it went under.
	Like, that's brutal.
	You're about to win the World Series, and then your team sucks, but you got to keep going, trade in some guys, get some new guys.
	I mean, when you're watching a game, your team is constantly dealing with curveballs, literally.
	Life throws you a curveball.
	That colloquialism comes in.
	So go to batdsi.com.
	Use the promo code Gavin.
	You put in $25.
	They match $25.
	All right, let's take a couple calls and we'll look at some stupid videos and then I got to go back to Breeze.
	I'm going to take Ryan with me to Breezy.
	You can meet the local pigs.
	Fucking pigs.
	All right, we got Richie, only known for being a statue.
	Richie?
	Hey.
	Early in the show, you said, imagine only being known for your statue.
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	What was that?
	I just wanted you to know that there is such a person.
	His name is Ozzy Mandius.
	Who?
	He.
	Ozzy Mandias.
	And what's his story king?
	The amusement king?
	He was an ancient king.
	Okay.
	Thank you very much for that call, sir.
	We'll be sure to look that up.
	Two legs are all that's left of his statue somewhere in Egypt.
	Okay, great.
	Ozzy Mendias is a statue known for being a statue.
	Badass man.
	Next call.
	All right.
	We got Mike.
	Democrats winning the election.
	Mike, you are on the list.
	What's up, fellas?
	Uru.
	So I have a hypothetical for you.
	If somebody like Kamala Harris or Bernie Sanders wins the 2020 elections, which I doubt's going to happen, obviously, but if it were to happen, what do you think would happen to the country?
	And what do you think we as conservatives could do about it to make sure that it's not a huge shithole?
	I mean, at the end of the day, does the president really affect you so much?
	Trump actually destroyed me.
	I live in a liberal area.
	Not destroyed me, but my taxes last year would make your hair go white.
	We had a bunch of caps with property tax and income tax, and making a fair amount of money in America, in this part of New York, means I got fucking reamed.
	Like, I won't get into the actual numbers, but it's above 100,000.
	And so Trump technically affected my life worse than other presidents, but I don't care about that.
	I care about the whole country.
	And I don't know.
	You have no idea.
	Like, George W. Bush was a conservative.
	He pried open the borders and spent more than any other president before him.
	I would prefer Bill Clinton to George W. Bush.
	At least he was a little more frugal.
	But as far as how this will affect us all, who knows?
	Like Bernie Sanders wants to rape us by overtaxing us.
	But all these politically correct candidates, they want to rape us with other stupid programs and forcing affirmative action.
	I think that the Kamala Harris of the world will be worse than the socialists.
	No, no, sorry.
	The Bernie Sanders of the world will be worse than the Kamala Harrises, but they're both socialists.
	I think our best chance with the DNC is a freak loser, like that chick who wants to start a love brigade, Marianne Williamson, whatever her name is.
	Because she'll just be a pawn.
	Like, I've heard conservatives say Justin Trudeau is actually a good prime minister because he's so stupid and useless that they just go, Yeah, we're going to do this.
	It's really good for you.
	It's the right thing to do.
	It's good for the environment.
	He's like, okay, well, you guys do that.
	Tell me when it's done.
	Maybe a loser is the only hope.
	But again, I don't believe in this apocalyptic view of politics.
	I don't think that they can change our lives that much.
	I would argue the people, the culture, as Breitbart said, politics is downstream from the culture.
	And it's the culture that gets us fired.
	It's the culture that endangers our families.
	It's the culture that encourages these kangaroo courts.
	I've seen a lot more lives ruined by social media witch hunts than I have by politicians.
	All right, thanks for calling me.
	One more question.
	Okay, one more question.
	This is a serious one.
	Why are you gay?
	I'm not gay.
	You are gay.
	I'm not gay.
	You are gay.
	Hang up.
	All right.
	You got to work on your comic timing, dude.
	He had a good joke, and then you just hang up after that.
	We're going to say, okay, bye, thanks for calling.
	We're not talking to our Nana on Sunday.
	It's odd because Nana, you're on the line.
	No, this is Ben.
	My Nana's dead.
	My Nanas are dead.
	Go ahead, call her.
	Gavin, you talk about how you have to pronounce Glasgow Glasgow, but then you say Moscow.
	My Russian girlfriend always says I'm a fucking idiot for calling Moscow Moscow.
	And you went on a rash about how Glasgow is supposed to be Glasgow.
	Okay, how is Moscow pronounced?
	It's supposed to be Moscow.
	Moscow.
	The Russians call it Moskova.
	Moscow.
	Moscow.
	Okay.
	Thanks.
	Hang up.
	Thanks, sir.
	Alright, we gotta go.
	By the way, it's more important to pronounce Glasgow correctly, because Glasgow's in the West, and the West is the best.
	Russia sucks.
	Push it into the sea.
	It's not relevant.
	It's a sad, disgusting shithole.
	Whoops.
	All right, before we finally leave, Oh, that's my son.
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Yeah, come over here now.
	We'll buzz you in and stuff like that.
	We're still shooting, though.
	All right.
	Bye.
	Bye.
	Alright, we've got time for a couple videos.
	My son's coming into the studio, so this is the life of a Trump supporter.
	When he buzzes in, when he comes out of the elevator, move that thing, let him in, but make sure you don't show any of that.
	Gotcha.
	Okay.
	Here's an oldie but a goodie.
	I was going through some old videos that I haven't played on the show, and I was reminded of ones you've seen, but it's summertime.
	We can afford to be light.
	And this one never fails to crack me up.
	I love it so much.
	You've seen it a million times.
	We're going over some oldies but goodies here.
	This is just like listening to Satisfaction by the Stones.
	Watch this guy deal with the lizard jumping on him.
	Oh, good grief, yes.
	Oh, boy.
	All right, let's see how long it is.
	Let's hold it.
	It's like a white guy in black is.
	Probably close to five feet.
	Texas rat snakes are going to be one of the largest snakes that you find in the Metroplex area.
	He's going to get this thing off me, man.
	Get this thing off me, man.
	God damn.
	What is this thing jumping at me this night?
	Now go to the slingshot.
	We've got to rush through this.
	Because I'm worried about my boy getting stuck downstairs at the lobby.
	We didn't give his name to secure.
	I've watched every single one of these.
	You could lose hours of your life to slingshot videos.
	I don't watch the puke ones because I've got a weak stomach.
	But you can always tell who's going to freak out.
	The ones who are going, ha ha ha ha, they always do really bad.
	And the ones who are laughing, they always enjoy the ride.
	I've never seen the inverse.
	I've never seen someone with this bad attitude enjoy it.
	It's about life.
	Same is true of life.
	Have a good attitude going in.
	You know what they do too, these guys sometimes?
	They go, oh, I think your seatbelt's broken.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Oh, they do it in this one.
	Yeah, yeah, your seatbelt's loose.
	You can slip out.
	Oh, dude.
	Yeah, did you adjust it correctly?
	Uh-oh.
	Yeah, I don't think that's going to work.
	It's maximum.
	I should both have it.
	Is mine fat?
	Yeah, no.
	We're going to have to stop the right car.
	The hands.
	The hands.
	Oh, man.
	He's literally the most scared a human can be.
	Right before he fainted, he was the most scared a human man can achieve that level of fear.
	To actually call for mama.
	Mama.
	If that was his sister, she's going to make fun of him forever.
	If that's a potential girlfriend, dude, you're dumped.
	Yeah, there's no coming back from that.
	Crying and saying, mama.
	All right, we got to go.
	I just want to end the show with an inspiring little video I talked about the other day.
	I want to show you what a real man is.
	A real man is not the top boxer in the world.
	It's not a famous celebrity.
	It's not David Beckham.
	It's not Brad Pitt.
	It's this guy.
	Someone with ambition who makes something out of nothing.
	This was sent to me from a...
	People could look at me and think I'm daft.
	But at the end of the day, overall, I'm just making a living.
	What's the name of this video?
	Oops.
	The odd job boy of Clitheroe.
	Yeah, Clitheroe's in northern England, right before Scotland.
	I've got a pushbike for the local people of Clitheroe.
	He just does hard jobs.
	I can fit more on that push bike than you can in a buddy van.
	And you think I'm like it.
	Ladies, if you're looking for a man, you're looking for ambition.
	Is he up at Monday at 9 a.m. working on whatever stupid plan he has?
	That's what matters, not the plan.
	I've said this a million times.
	I don't care if it's something as dumb as photographer or DJ or even musician or comedian.
	As long as he's busting his ass Monday at 9 a.m., you got a man.
	This guy is going to be making money.
	I guarantee you, if we check back on him in 20 years, he'll have a whole slew of junk trucks that pick up crap all over the place.
	At least four.
	And he will be grossing 200 pounds a year, 200,000 pounds a year.
	This is what you're looking for, ladies.
	And men, stop making excuses.
	This guy is a tandem bike, and he picks up couches from people.
	All right.
	That's the show.
	We got to get back to Breezy.
	We'll be, uh, Thursday.
	We don't have to do a show tomorrow.
	It's Friday.
	Yeah, well, I do have something if you want to put it up, possibly.
	Yeah, put up a freezebook presents.
	Well, we also got History of Punk is tomorrow.
	And let's put up the History of Punk tomorrow.
	It's finally done.
	It's a masterpiece.
	And you don't have to like Punk to like it.
	Yeah.
	All right, folks.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.

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