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May 10, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
41:06
S02E03 - ARCHIE BUNKER'S BACK
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From New York, it's Gev Monday One with Kevin McGuinness We were just talking about
how much we let singers get away with when it comes to their voice.
I don't, I think it's kind of irritating.
Like Elvis Costello, you were singing with the town in the side by dough with the max shack radio on.
Something that we told about, something that I detected when something broke.
Saying things that I could never believe.
I kind of like that.
If there was somebody hanging out that was doing that, you wouldn't like that?
It's kind of punky.
But what we were just talking about was, like in that song, and he goes, the waiting is the hardest part.
And if you ever met Tom Petty and you go, hey, man, sorry I'm late.
And he was like, oh, it's okay.
But the waiting was the hardest part.
You'd go, Tom Petty's having a stroke.
He can't enunciate his Parkinson's.
The diagnosis is unfortunate.
That's what he would say.
Or that's why I always hated all those 90s grunge, or not grunge, but post-grunge bands like Creed.
And I despise Pearl Jam.
And that, hell, coming soon, honomo.
If you met that guy, like you meet Eddie Venner, he's like, hey, what's going on?
I'm an edive.
How are you?
You sound like a black Elvis impersonator falling.
Roar!
Hey, making through the days on a mountain.
But then, like other bands do it, and like Led Zeppelin sings weird, or even Thin Lizzy.
Thin Lizzie is an Irishman singing with an American accent.
The boys are back in town.
That's not Phil Leinett.
He's black.
He's literally a black Irishman.
And yeah, he talks weird.
I'm talking weird because I'm drinking Wyoming whiskey, a new sponsor of ours.
Now, this is given to me by a boxing buddy, and apparently it's the same distiller as the guy who did Maker's Mark.
That's a big thing in Scotland.
They'll sit at the pub and talk about booze the entire time.
You see, they got a new brewing master from McEwen's Lager there, Eddie McCurry.
Like, they know the names of all the brewmasters.
You hear Angus Dunan is no longer at Tenants anymore.
He's moved on.
Oh, he's moved to a different beer.
I don't give a shit.
What's that you're drinking, Gavin?
I don't know.
You don't know.
Here.
That's Tenants.
Oh, okay.
That's a woman's pint.
Although they think Budweiser is very fancy.
And Corona.
That's an exotic Mexican beer, by the way.
That's luxurious.
We're the same way with Stella, though.
We think Stella's a fancy beer.
They call it the wife beater, I think, in the Netherlands.
Anyway, sorry.
We've got a lot to talk about today.
We've got James O'Keefe on the show, I hope.
I wanted to talk about this shirt.
I'd like to come over and show it to you.
if you don't mind.
The cameras we have here at the studio are spooky.
The quality of, look at that.
That's better than my eye.
I can't hear you.
Oh, if you go ahead and...
The quality of these cameras are better than my eyes.
Wait, now I'm all messed up.
What is it now?
Look at that.
You can see the stitching.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Did you just fart while walking past me?
No, the floor's creaking.
If I was going to fart as I walked by you, I would deliberate.
I felt pretty deliberate.
I felt the wind on the neck.
Good pun.
Thank you.
Don't get too drunk with power, though, and start punning it up.
Yeah, this shirt, I haven't worn it in a long time.
I've had it for decades.
And it's by my friend Wendy Mullen.
Built by Wendy is the name of the company.
And she doesn't like me anymore because of Trump, but we used to be good friends.
And I used to be buddies with my Puerto Rican laundry lady, right?
You know, when you would, before you, when you live in the city, you don't have a laundromat.
So you go to the laundry place and you drop it off.
I don't get how people do their own laundry at a laundromat.
You're sitting there for five hours.
Isn't your time valuable to you?
It's maybe another five bucks to have them do it and fold it and all that stuff.
So you're saving, what, five?
Let's say you're saving 10 bucks.
You're saving $10 to sit somewhere for three hours.
So your time is worth $3.33.
That's a fifth of minimum wage in New York.
You're a loser.
But anyway, I go there and I got the shirt and I got along with the Puerto Rican well and she was one of those Square Ricans, a Square Rican.
You know, the ones that don't do Coke and go to church a lot and they hate that their brother sells Coke.
They're not very common.
Not on welfare, all that stuff.
What are you toggling all over the place?
I accidentally toggled to a thing.
Okay, don't do that.
And so she said, what's that on your shirt?
Is that your initials?
I go, my name's Gavin Miles McInnes, so no.
FTW means fuck the world.
And she goes, no, it doesn't.
I go, yeah, my shirt says fuck the world.
It's like a common, you never heard FTW before?
It's a common thing.
And she goes, no.
And I go, I know the woman who made the shirt.
And she goes, I don't believe you.
I'll call her right now.
So I call up Wendy Mullen and I go, yeah, I'm here with this woman.
She doesn't believe me that FTW is fuck the world.
And Wendy goes, pass me the phone.
So I give the phone to the woman with the laundromat, like an older lady.
She's probably 60.
And Wendy goes, what the fuck are you talking about, bitch?
Fuck the world, motherfucker.
Wake up, you dumb bitch.
What are you stupid?
And I take the phone back, and I noticed the woman was like this after.
Wendy thought that I was with my wife, who she's very close with and has known for years.
Oh, boy.
So she thought she was talking to Emily.
And that's why she was so raunchy.
And I knew something was up because the Puerto Rican was sort of going as she spoke on the phone.
So that's the story of this shirt.
All right, before we get to our guest and Homeless Gavin and the mailbag, which I doubt will last very long, and an update in the 25 hottest chicks, before we get to all of that stuff, we got some shocking news today that Norman Lear and I think Jimmy Kimmel are teaming up to bring us a one-time special of Archie Bunker.
Woody Harlson will be playing Archie Bunker.
You got that article here?
The Jeffersons will also be getting a short-lived major celebrity reboot.
This is bad news, folks.
They're about to ruin a legend.
Now, Archie Bunker, I'm obviously a huge fan of.
I model my life after him.
I am him.
And it comes actually from a British show called Steptoe and Son.
But Norman Lear is a pussy liberal who was listening to some nut bar on 80s radio in New York.
And I guess this guy was saying a bunch of white nationalist stuff and he led to some murder.
I'm talking about like the 70s here.
And it was some controversial radio show.
You could probably look that up, Brian, as is your job.
Norman Lear inspired, talk show, radio, was inspired by.
Anyway, he goes, oh my God, there's this danger of racism looming around every corner.
What I'm going to do is make a show where the racist is lampooned and everyone will hate him for being a bigot.
And I'll save the world.
So that's how the show started off.
Edith was cool and smart and a bitch and kind of a feminist.
And Archie Bunker was just a dump, a frumpy, dumb bigot.
And Meathead was the son who was a smart liberal who would teach not just Archie, but through Archie, teach America.
And what happened inevitably was everyone was reminded of their working class dad, their working class uncle, the guys they worked with on the docks who bust their ass.
And they didn't identify with Edith at first until she became more maternal and delicate, like their mom was.
And the next thing you know, Norman Lear's plan blows up in his face, and we all fall in love with Archie Bunker.
So I think Norman is always, I know for a fact that Norman resented that.
Even Carol O'Connor, the guy who played Archie Bunker, resented that he was so loved, his character was so loved.
So I hereby wager, I'm going to go to Bet DSI and bet that this is going to be a politically correct version.
He's going to learn how stupid he is.
Meanwhile, in the show, you learn that he's not a racist.
And when he joins some club, he finds out that they're associated with the KKK and he goes to fight them.
He hangs out with Sammy Davis Jr.
Sammy kisses him.
Like, the reason we like Archie is because he shows us that sometimes we say unfortunate things by accident.
But ultimately, deep down, racism is a myth.
Ultimately, deep down, you meet a black guy.
He's got stuff in common with you.
You're happy to hang out with him.
We're too selfish to be racist.
If we are at a bar and we meet a black guy who likes the Mets and loves BLTs and is drinking this new Wyoming whiskey that the guy from Makersmark made, I got someone to talk to now about my favorite things.
I'd love to talk to this guy.
Are his kids addicted to Fortnite?
Is he having trouble as his teenage daughter?
Is he worried about her social life and all that stuff?
Are the schools pissing him off?
The schools are pissing me off too, dude.
Take a seat.
Why would I deny myself an interesting conversation?
Same with the employment.
You don't want to deny yourself an interesting conversation.
Wow.
This show goes by lickety split.
All right.
So I just want to show you a few clips of Archie Bunker so you can see how fantastic it was.
Just play them in the order that I sent them to you because I don't have them titled here properly.
I think they all say fag.
Well, this one.
That don't answer the question.
Who's the big cheese you're having here for lunch?
Roger.
Roger the fairy?
Oh, that's what's my fault.
If you had that eaten, you know who they're bringing around here for lunch?
Roger, sweet tea, pie Roger.
Sweet tea, pie Roger.
Just pause for a second here.
Now, I'm comfortable with gays.
I moved into the city when I was 18 in 1988.
I've been surrounded with homosexuals, surrounded by homosexuals for a quarter century.
My wife's a fag hag.
I'm fine with them.
But even me, I'm talking to a gay man and I'm thinking, you put your dink in his bum.
Huh.
That's weird.
You don't like boobies.
It floats around in the back of your head.
It's not a big deal.
But for, I'd say, 80% of America, they're not used to gays.
They don't hang out with gays.
And the idea of a gay coming over for dinner, it is kind of weird to them.
They don't want to kill him.
So Archie is just showing us the normal homophobia we all have.
And that's what I did in my article where I said transphobia is perfectly natural and I had my ad agency close down.
20 people lost their jobs because I said that you're not a woman, you're just mentally ill gay.
I said, if your dad, you see your dad one year at Thanksgiving, right?
You're busy, you don't see him much.
The next time you see him, he's Gladys, and he has long hair and a dress, just like Caitlin Jenner.
The notion that everyone at the table is going to be fine with it as they eat Christmas dinner is a lie.
There's going to be lots of tears at that dinner as they deal with the fact that dad has lost it.
So that's what Archie is representing here, and that's why people are giggling.
Not because he wants to hurt that man or he wants gays not to exist, but because he's an old-fashioned working-class guy and he's freaked out by it.
Much more than we are, but we're still tapping into that.
You get it?
I mean, I'm ruining comedy by explaining it, but this is why it's so fun to watch this show.
Go ahead.
Listen, Edith, we run a decent home here, and we don't need any strange little birdies flying in and out of it.
Yeah, stop that.
Roger's not a strange little birdie.
By the way, just pause here.
Hey, bitch, move out.
You and your parasitic boyfriend are living under Archie's roof.
He busts his ass.
I think he works at the docks or he's a cab driver or something.
And aren't you a little old to be in college?
What is he, 35?
He's almost bald in this show.
Oh, that's another prediction.
I bet you Rob Reiner is going to make a cameo, and it's going to be really irritating.
It won't be a cute one like Stan Lee does in Spider-Man movies.
He's going to come in and he'll say, huh, sounds familiar.
And then maybe look at the camera and walk off.
I'm all going.
The fact that I would be staying at my father-in-law's house and talking to him like that is unthinkable.
I've never spoken to my father-in-law in any way.
The worst thing I've said to him is, really?
You can't actually, do you really think that?
Never.
Oh, come on, Och.
That's terrible what you just said.
Never.
Your friends are lauded ya.
I don't even think I say that to my friends when they say something absurd.
I mean, I abuse you, but you're my employee.
That's true.
At off hours, you treat me very nicely.
That's the way it should be.
Roger is as queer as a $4 bill, and he knows it.
That's not only cruel, Daddy, that's an outright lie.
Just pause.
Why is it cruel to be accused of being gay, Gloria?
What is it?
Bad?
Hmm, you just showed your true colors, you homophobe.
Just because a guy is sensitive and he's an intellectual and he wears glasses, you make him out a queer.
I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer.
A guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes.
A guy who is a fag is a queer.
Can you just replay that?
Of course.
Carol O'Connor, his comic delivery is unbelievable.
The way he blinks first and he goes, "A guy who's a fag." Yeah, he doesn't make eye contact for a second.
He just the way he holds his head.
And then he comes in with this fag.
Yeah, he breaks eye contact, comes back.
Why can't we say that word anymore?
It's funny.
Take him out of queer.
I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer.
Whip.
A guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes.
A guy who is a fag is a queer.
Beautiful.
All right.
Running out of time.
There's a lot of things I want to discuss, but the reason I brought all of this up is because I'm reminded that the left is so desperate for villains that they are taking all our jokes seriously.
Like the Mike Pence thing, that he's a homophobe.
And Pete Butley Geeg, whatever his name is, was trying to imply that Mike Pence is a homophobe.
This is all based on a rumor that Mike Pence wants gays electrocuted.
All he said was, if a state wants to spend some of its money on conversion therapy for gays, then go ahead.
It's up to that state.
I don't care what states do.
They have their individual rights.
That's all he said.
And that became he wants to electrocute gays.
So what does the right do?
We have memes with him with electricity shooting out of his hands because we think it's hilarious.
And then they get mortified and want that banned because they think we want to electrocute gays.
Or, another example, Tucker Carlson, they keep digging up these tapes of him.
Rupert Murdoch, I'm 100% his bitch.
He's on Bubba the Love Sponge's show.
Is it possible he's joking?
So this dumb cow, Ada Chavez, is pretending that this is all serious.
When asked on Bubba the Love Sponge in 2008, how he pays his bills, Carlson replied that he's extraordinarily loaded just from inheritance from my number of trust funds.
And then he says, I'll go and beat some servants.
I'll wrap my Lamborghini around a tree, go pick up a kilo or two, you know, just like normal stuff.
Is it possible that Tucker was being satirical when he said that?
Like they willfully ignore jokes.
I call them the chicken cross the road joke.
Like I get accused when I was talking about how to pick up Asian chicks and I called them rice balls.
No one calls Asians rice balls.
I'm clearly joking.
It's not the N-word.
I challenge you to find a person in the country who goes, yeah, well, there was a lot of rice balls there, so I didn't hang out too long.
Look at her.
That's another thing about a lot of these columns.
We're reading stuff written by children.
Like the Intercept, the New York Post, they hire these 20-something college girls.
They're infants.
I don't want to hear what this woman has to say.
She has zero knowledge to impart.
She can't even impart her hair properly.
I guess I don't mind if she babysits, but I don't want to come back too late because I think she's going to fall asleep.
All right, we got to get Motrin here.
Let's talk to Homeless Me about the trouble with cell phone addiction and how out of control it's getting in the country.
Take it away, Homeless Me.
Bumper.
bumper I think a lot of us assume that young people are on their phones too much, especially girls.
And we see them holding their phones in their hand all the time.
And we go, these girls are incapable of handling life Without their phones.
And I want to say to you, stop judging young people.
We all had our things.
We had our Ataris or our Game Boys or comic books in the 1950s, where we had those circular things that you'd hit with a stick, or you had that little roller doohickey that was made from a plate of chips.
And today they are slightly impartial to phones, but it's not an addiction.
When a little girl, say a 13-year-old, has her phone taken away, she learns to deal with it.
She talks to people around her.
She says, hey, man, when can I get my phone back?
To her grandmother or whatever.
And her grandmother will go, I don't know, in like an hour, maybe when the plane lands.
And she goes, you know what?
I get it.
That's a wake-up call.
I get it.
And our problem as adults, as people who aren't part of the youngster generation, is we keep injecting our own sort of values on these kids.
These kids are fine.
Okay?
It's a different construct.
It's a different paradigm.
It's a different context.
It's a different universe.
If you take a young girl's phone away, she will understand.
And I think if you talk to her rationally, she'll actually learn a thing or two about her own disproportionate need to be on her fucking phone.
*music*
Did you like my hair and my beard like that?
Yep.
At the time, it looked really cool.
I thought you were going for what I have.
Whatever the hell my hair looks like.
An inferiority complex?
James O'Keefe just had a major victory.
Major victory, reporting for duty.
The story of Wentz's lawsuit against Project Veritas created a minor media sensitive.
So here's the story.
Steve Wentz was the head of Teachers Union in Kentucky, and Project Veritas did a huge sting on teachers in this country.
You know my feeling on teachers?
Yes, there's some exceptions, but for the most part, they are bloated, bitchy women, feminists who are brainwashing our kids into thinking that America was built on slavery and stolen from the Indians, and white men are bad, and women rock.
And they start at kindergarten telling boys they're terrible, and this goes all the way up through college.
They're ruining the country, basically.
And the teachers' unions are a big part of that because women are very agreeable generally.
Naturally, genetically, they tend to want to keep the thing going.
We're more confrontational as men.
We're more questioning.
So when the unions go, look, push this leftist crap because it's pro-union and we're the union and we are the most powerful lobby in Washington, bigger than tobacco, bigger than anything, combined, we spend more money.
Way bigger than the NRA, by the way.
Way bigger.
And they brainwashed these women into brainwashing our kids.
So James O'Keeffe goes undercover and he catches them bragging about their socialist paradise and how they can't be fired and how they'll threaten to beat the shit out of a kid and it'll be no problem.
And this guy, Steve Wentz, was caught saying that he'll kick the shit out of a kid.
And he's threatened them many times.
And he can't get caught.
And then, so you have the Breitbart article?
Did you pull that up already?
Yeah, you did.
Did you?
Nope.
First time.
Okay.
BuzzFeed News reported that Wentz had claimed the video had been creatively edited to make him appear violent and dangerous.
This is the thing they always say about James O'Keefe, is that he creatively edits stuff.
But you watch it and you see, well, actually, we have the videos.
You should pull them up.
You see them saying it.
Well, there's going to be a commercial and stuff, dude.
So you pull up the video in your time and you make sure it's ready to rock.
Then you show it to dad.
Okay.
Veritas is here.
Okay.
Want to kick my ass?
Do you really think I'm a motherfucker?
Son, go for it.
You can see his face, dude.
It's way too zoomed in.
I've done this more than once.
And I should, but I guarantee you, I will kick your fucking ass.
The union would throw me under the ball.
I mean.
That's an interesting one because he says the union would throw him under the bus.
They wouldn't.
But there's another one I like that has nothing to do with this case.
It's called My Favorite Was Teachers Gone Wild.
So he was saying that he will violently attack.
So he sued James O'Keefe.
James O'Keefe spent $350,000 defending himself.
He could have easily settled.
He could have easily paid out 40K and been done with it.
But the media would say, James O'Keefe pleads guilty.
And he's just said no.
He said, I'm sick of this litigious culture we live in.
I'm sick of people hearing about it and assuming that you were guilty because you pled guilty.
The New York City Nine, the Proud Boys, all but three of them have pled guilty because it was either lawyer's fees you can't afford to the tune of tens of thousands or five days community service.
What would you choose?
Now, the three who are sticking it out can afford it, sort of, they're going deep into debt.
And their punishment was prison and a year of probation, big stuff like that.
And they said, no, we're not settling.
And I'm so glad they're doing that because when you don't settle or don't take any plea, you can then sue the city.
So James, who may have settled, I think he settled earlier on in his career because of the math.
He didn't have the money and he just thought, it's $5,000 here to pay you to go away or $350,000 to fight it for years and years.
This is back in 2017, this all started.
And he just won.
The judge said, no, it wasn't creatively edited.
You said you kicked the shit out of kids.
You threatened to beat them up.
Which was beautiful.
But that, so I was really happy.
When I first heard this, I thought it was a different tape from the same sort of batch.
And this is actually, I prefer more than the Steve Wentz one.
It's called Teachers Gone Wild.
Check it out.
This is them singing about kicking Chris Christie in the nuts.
Chris Christie, one of the few politicians to stand up to the teachers' unions.
So jump to 108.
That's at 108.
Okay.
Even if there's like a case like that.
It's really hard.
Once you get that three years a day, it's like, swing.
It's really hard.
Like you seriously have to be aware of that.
This isn't one minute in.
They'll even brag about their members not getting fired for covering.
That gives the N-word.
We have a teacher that just recently was like, you nigger.
But he can move down another student.
And the teacher has been demoted, but it's the teacher.
And watch out.
No one can stop this wild party.
Not even New Jersey's Governor Chris.
All right, that's enough.
He gets pretty wild.
Nobody I know talks that way.
Yeah, that's pretty wild.
Yeah, who, like, when was the last time you heard the N-word?
And this is in New Jersey.
With a hard R. Just someone with a hard R just yelling that to a kid.
Right.
I mean, you see in the South, but a teacher?
And I said this to Mark Maron on his podcast, which he promptly buried.
He said, there's not just one thing that can fix education in this country.
There's no magic button.
I go, yeah, there is.
And charter schools are using it.
It's called making it possible to fire them.
That's all you have to do.
They keep saying more funding, more funding.
Charter school teachers get paid less than public school teachers.
Charter schools are public schools, but normal state-run public schools.
And the charter school teachers like it better.
I think people like it better when they can be fired.
It's more rewarding work.
If you played sports and every team won, you wouldn't be excited about the game.
It's called the free market.
Anyway, I want to, do we have James on the line yet?
What's that picture you have?
I worked for Project Veritas.
This is Veritas Exposed, where they expose the people who work there.
I'm 47 years old.
Scroll down.
This is my disguise, if you keep going down.
That's my disguise.
By the way, this exposed, go back.
You're showing a tweet I put up.
I exposed myself, but that was my disguise.
I just wore funny glasses and I cut my beard.
Oh, this is opposition to it.
Yes.
I see.
Oh, that's me.
There you go.
Yeah, they showed you.
I didn't like working for James.
Why?
Because to get something like that, you have to do 100 hours of work.
So I went down to catch Mary Landrau doing something corrupt.
I worked on her campaign for three days.
I went door to door for days talking to people, promoting her.
Because the way I was embedded is I was a volunteer.
So I helped get her elected.
Holy shit.
Someone I hate.
And you're good.
And I was convincing myself.
I started really selling her to people because I was in New Orleans.
And, you know, they're not that left-wing there.
At least the areas I was in.
So I ended up kind of brainwashing myself into liking her.
But yeah, without further to do, let's talk to old Jimmy.
Music James, are you there, sir?
I'm here.
Here I am.
You're recording?
Are we ready?
Are we set?
We rocking.
James, you won.
You won.
Yes.
Yes.
Many different things, actually.
Oh, explain.
Many different things.
Please explain.
So we won.
Well, first of all, we won a federal lawsuit, summary judgment, which means that after the discovery process where they depose you, this teacher union president from Kansas, we caught on tape saying he was at a bar and he said, I will kick your effing ass.
He was talking about what he said to a student to discipline him.
And he said, you want to call me a mother effer son?
Go for it.
I'll give you the best shot.
I'll kick your ass.
He's talking about disciplining students in this way.
Yeah, we just watched the video and he said, I've said that to several students.
Yeah, more than once.
Now, he's talking in a very loud bar in Florida, which is a two-party consent state to tape.
So this guy sues us and says, you lied about me.
There's nothing lying.
I'm just playing what he said.
I mean, I'm not even characterizing what he said.
I'm literally playing a tape of what he said.
And all these people sue Project Veritas because I guess they want to break my will, shut me down, intimidate me.
And in the past, you know, nine years ago, I settled an Acorn lawsuit.
I think it was a mistake to do so because it was a nuisance thing.
I don't want to spend a million dollars defending myself.
This time I said, nu-uh, I'm not going to settle at all.
Litigated it all the way almost to trial, and the judge threw it out in this amazing document motion where the federal judge said, there's no selective editing.
You were telling the truth.
There was no expectation of privacy.
And the guy said what he said.
So that's a pretty important victory, and it sets precedent in the state of Florida to continue doing this sort of work down there.
Well, when you settled with Acorn, did you have the money to go to trial?
I mean, $350,000 you spent.
Yes, we spent $350,000, about 10% of what we spend every year on legal bills, which is, I know it's crazy to hear that, but this is what I'm talking about.
This is what's at stake in this country.
There's no equal justice under the law.
They just sue you because they can.
And I'm trying to get my attorney's fees back, but we'll see what happens.
I got some of them back.
But with the Acorn lawsuit, it was about expectation of privacy, whether or not you can film some without them knowing.
And we believe that as long as we're with the person, as long as there's people around, there's no problems.
And that's exactly what this federal judge said.
A big victory for the First Amendment with this case.
Yeah, it's great news.
And I'm always suspicious.
Like, there's two things going on here.
We have a litigious society in America, and that's a problem, just constantly suing people instead of working it out and torturing people to death sometimes with frivolous lawsuits.
I think it may have killed Breitbart, his lawsuits.
But secondly, and this is obviously also linked to Breitbart, there's a war on the right going on, and I am highly suspicious of where the money's coming from, sorry.
Like Ezra Levant criticized George Soros, and he was in court with frivolous lawsuits from poor people who couldn't afford to be there, but somehow Magically got the money for years and years and years.
So I'm suspicious.
Who's paying for their case?
We suspect that it's all coordinated, all these litigation against me.
I've been sued some half a dozen times, not in the last year, but going back 16 months.
And all of the plaintiffs are talking to the other plaintiffs in the depositions.
It's revealed that they're all talking to each other in cases that have nothing to do with each other.
It's all a matter of one day they're going to make an Aaron Sorkin movie off of the stuff I go through in these depositions.
It's crazy.
I can't talk about some of it, but it's unbelievable that they're all conspiring.
It may be a RICO issue.
It's certainly maybe an anti-slap issue to just sue someone, sue a journalist because he filmed you saying what you said.
American jurisprudence is pretty straightforward on.
There's no defamation if you're being truthful about something, right?
But they just say you're a liar.
And what the point is, Gavin, it's to try to shut me down, break my will, and make me quit and settle and give them, I don't know, $25,000.
Aha!
And the first paragraph of your Wikipedia page, it says, James O'Keefe settles lawsuit for $25,000, thus admitting some type of guilt, muddying the waters about what we do.
So I have to raise millions of dollars.
Think about how unfathomable that is to your audience.
I have to raise $3 million a year just to defend my good name.
And what I've learned, and this is very important, you can never settle on your principles no matter what it takes.
And the only way that you will lose is if you do settle.
If I were to settle these lawsuits, I would not be able to raise $3 million a year, right?
Yep.
Because I'd have no integrity.
So it's just a really crazy situation.
And we're 5-0 in the federal lawsuits, and we'll keep winning.
That's great.
You know, it's great for America that you fight.
It's great for this war on litigation in general that you win.
But this is really great for you, James, because the word is going to get out amongst your enemies, and they're going to go, yeah, it doesn't really pay off.
He fights back.
So I'm not investing in that.
That's exactly right.
We fight back.
And that's the most important thing.
And I'm afraid that that's a topic for another day.
But people need to understand you got to be the tip of the spear.
Congratulations, James.
And if you're going out partying tonight, I would advise you go whiskey and then beer, beer, whiskey, beer, beer.
Because if it's all whiskey, you just get too drunk too fast.
I'll take that under advisement.
Keep hydrated, man.
Cheers, James.
We'll do.
See ya.
Thanks.
You know, I remember Jimmy Kimmel telling me that a long time ago.
Never settle.
Never settle a suit.
He was being sued by an imbecile named Scary Perry.
Pandora's box alert, Windy City Heat, the whole culture around this 40-year prank is just amazing.
30-year prank.
You have to check it out on your own time.
We'll do a whole episode on that.
But Scary Perry was trying to sue him for $40,000, and then he lowered it to $10,000, and then they were in court.
And Scary Perry lowered it to something like $100, and Jimmy Campbell said, no, I'm not doing that.
And took it to court and won.
And I don't think he's been sued since.
See, we can kill this litigious culture by just saying no to these people.
My dad's name was Cookie.
What was that?
That was Perry Scaravello.
No, that's someone doing an imitation of Scary Perry.
It's totally incongruous, has nothing to do with the show, and is a waste of everyone's time.
I want to get to the mailbag.
We're not going to end with the viral video this app.
We're out of time.
But I want to first talk about the 25 hottest chicks.
Lisa Booth has just made it in.
She is ahead of Kimberly Guilfoil, and she's entering the charts at number 11.
Number 11, Lisa Booth, because she's so smart, spunky, and she looks like a cartoon.
She looks like Bambi.
Look at that.
She doesn't even look human.
No, that's not her.
Keep scrolling down.
Imagine that was your wife.
Look at that.
You just have Bambi in your bed.
So congratulations to Lisa for being at number 11, and her IQ is definitely a big part of that.
Speaking of IQ, we have a problem, though, with Lauren Chen, roaming millennial.
I feel paternal towards her.
I've known her for a while since before she got on CR-TV.
I've been watching her videos since they first came out.
She's been on my show.
I've been on her show.
So I may have like a protecting my daughter thing.
That's not a good picture of her.
No, I like her like there when she's on the TV.
No, no, no, that other one with the stripes behind her.
Yeah, like even in that, with crappy TV stuff, she looks incredible.
So I don't know.
and you probably, you don't seem to be into Asians, so you probably don't want her on.
Technically, I feel very weird not how, I feel nothing for that.
You do?
I don't.
How can you not?
Boring.
Boring?
Yeah.
No one looks like her.
We're going to have to think about this.
We'll cut back to you on it.
It doesn't seem right having her on the list or off the list.
All right.
Ryan, play the song.
We got to do the mailbag, and then we're out.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
It's from Elliot Crane.
What the bad word is up with Twisted Tea.
Gavin, my name is Max.
I'm from New Jersey.
My girlfriend is from Philly.
I've gone to quite a few family events down there and have noticed possibly the most impurity thing I've ever seen.
Every single man, no matter what, drinks goddamn twisted tea or even worse, twisted tea light.
Everyone, even the most macho dudes.
It completely dumbfounded me.
I asked my girlfriend why everyone is drinking and she just said that's what everyone always drinks.
Could that be the most effeminate beer-related thing of all time?
Max?
It's for Max.
Oh yeah, Max Gennicrelli.
Elliot Crane was a previous sweater.
Totally and utterly Unacceptable.
You are not allowed to drink any kind of non-beer beverage.
You may drink wine with an Italian dinner.
You may not drink wine in a bar.
You obviously cannot drink beholding a STEM out in public.
That's like at a backyard party.
No.
And for beers, you have to drink corporate boring beers.
I drink Budweiser.
I think it's the king of beers.
But I understand there's some different people out there.
You can have PBR.
You can have Miller High Life.
You can have Heineken.
You can have lots of, you can have Yingling.
I think it's America's oldest beer.
You can have Rolling Rock.
St. Pauli's Girl.
That's a good beer.
I'm not familiar with it, but maybe.
But yeah, Twisted Tea.
Are you worried about your figure?
You disgusting shell of a man?
No, no, it's all sugar.
It's all sugar.
It's not good for you.
So there's no explanation whatsoever.
No, it gives you heartburn.
makes you look like a dick.
I know there's some disease like Alzheimer's where Mike's hard lemonade is better for you or something.
We're not talking about that.
So absolutely unacceptable.
And if you are drinking twisted tea, we want you to unsubscribe from this show.
We don't want your money.
And tell us how much it is because we're going to take that money and burn it.
Actually, let's go to one video before we go.
Why would you say that?
Based on how I look at you.
You think that's a problem?
Yeah, probably.
How many genders are there?
I don't know.
I just got you.
Oh, God, I can think of at least four or five.
One.
One?
I don't know.
A lot.
One?
There's one gender.
How many genders are there?
32.
32.
Where do you get that number from?
For LGBT...
I mean, I don't mean to pick on anybody, but I see a lot of young girls today identifying as non-binary genders.
But with the genders, I think there's...
Oh, I need to be a princess or not.
Nothing.
Hey, sis.
If I want to fuck me, I just jerk off in the mirror.
Oh, my God.
That's me with your wiggle.
We gotta go.
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