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May 9, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
46:32
#138 | The chick from "What we do behind the shadows" is hot

A surprisingly drunk Gavin manages to mumble about that Greek chick from “What We Do in the Shadows” and relationships in general. Apparently, you can covet your neighbor’s wife if you don’t want her for yourself but instead want other men to court women who are like her. We also glance over the news and dig deep into the mail bag. Lots of relationship advice there too.

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The chick from what we do behind the shadows is hot.
I think we should add her to the 25 hottest chicks.
She's got a weird Greek name.
What we do behind... That's your job.
Pull that shit up, Jamie.
Wow, man, that's crazy.
Wow, man, that's crazy.
Pull that shit up.
What's your name, man?
My fucking Joe Rogan sucks balls.
Do it again.
Wow, that's crazy, man.
Wow, that's crazy, man.
Jamie, pull that shit up.
Jamie, pull that shit up.
Wow, that's crazy.
That's crazy, man.
That guy's a fucking badass, man.
Actually, I'm making you worse.
It's like I'm drowning with pants on, and you're trying to save me, and I'm grabbing onto you and pulling you down.
We're just both going down.
We're both going down.
You had it, and I ruined yours.
Wow.
Wow, that's badass, man.
That's crazy, man.
You suck.
That's crazy, man.
You sound like Joe Rogan when he's 10.
That's crazy, man.
Yeah, that's another thing I noticed, too.
You take an edible, you're just fucking gone.
You know what makes him so unique?
He's a curious person in LA.
Which is just, what the fuck?
Never heard of that before.
What's the show from the chick?
The show is what we do behind the shadows.
It's my new favorite show.
And I don't like vampire jokes.
It's it's my least favorite kind of comedy, actually.
It's, you know, well, what have we?
What will they think?
Yeah, there she is in the top left.
Natasha Demetrio.
Yes.
Yeah, I think vampires are corny, and I think the concept is corny.
I hate Jermaine Clement, who's involved.
You know who directs it is that weird New Zealand guy?
Yeah, this guy?
Matt Perry?
Taika Waititi.
Matt Barry's in it.
Bless you.
Matt Barry is the one who brought me to it.
Yeah, he's good.
You know what brought me to it?
It was Matt Barry's old show where I forget what it's called.
Bent or something?
Squarebox?
Something like that.
Where he's he's helping all these women out.
On their day-to-day, he's a gentleman, and some woman's carrying a goldfish.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, aquarium, like an aquarium you could handle, like a 30-pound aquarium, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
It's not comfortable to carry, but a man would be better off carrying it than a woman.
So he sees a woman with it, and he goes, let me take this from you.
Snuff box.
Snuff box.
And she goes...
She goes, oh, they say chivalry's dead.
Oh yeah, here it is.
Let him do it.
Beautiful lady.
I help the ugly ones as well, but I definitely say you're in the former camp.
Where am I taking this?
Well, it's only a few streets away.
I'm moving in with my boyfriend, Ian.
Like, you don't need to see the video.
That took no time at all for me.
Before that she goes, they say chivalry's not dead, but it certainly seems alive with you.
And he goes, I love helping women, especially a beautiful woman like you.
I mean, I'll help the ugly ones too.
And then as soon as she says boyfriend he goes, fuck you!
And then drops the aquarium on the ground and shatters.
In another one he's helping a woman with her plant and he throws it through a car window when she says the word boyfriend.
Or there's another one where he's at the pub and he's helping someone carry drinks and Yeah, he's helping someone carry their tray of drinks, and then he goes, so who's this for?
And she goes, oh, this is for my mum, and I'm here with my sister, and then that one's for my boyfriend.
And he just goes, fuck off!
And he drops the whole tray.
There it is.
Thank you, handsome.
The gin and tonic's for my sister, Ruth.
OK.
This one is for Stacey.
Hello.
And if you could hand this one to my boyfriend.
Fuck you.
He's a funny fucking dude, man.
Dude, that guy is insanely high quality.
He's hilarious, man.
And it's like... Yeah, pull that shit up, man.
That's crazy, man.
No, some funny men are in a level, like Steve Coogan, where you just go, you're a fucking funny human being, dude.
Some guys, like Burt Kreishner, you know that guy?
He's a very successful comedian.
He does the shirts off guy.
I like him.
Seems like a cool dude.
He doesn't have the magic.
I'm afraid.
He's made me, you're right though, but he'll, he made me fun.
Like he is funny.
He's just a hardworking dude who does it.
He does it.
You know, Will Smith said that about himself once he goes, I am not that most talented actor in town, but I'm never hung over.
Uh, black guys are never hung over.
Oh my God.
I just had an epiphany.
I've never seen a black retard and I've never spoken to a hungover black guy.
Wow.
I've heard black guys discuss hangovers.
I've never really seen them like, oh dude, I guess maybe Derek Beckles once or twice.
He's half black.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
I've never seen a full black guy hungover.
I've never seen a full black guy make a speech for black rights.
It's always Jesse Williams.
It's always Malcolm X or yeah.
Kaepernick.
Small it.
Cory Booker might be 100% black, but... Is he?
Well, his parents are black, but they're very, very light-skinned blacks.
They were the first executives, black executives at IBM.
You know what Cory Booker looks like?
An egg?
You remember that dinosaur show?
Yeah.
Tell me that doesn't look like Cory Booker.
The baby dinosaur from that dinosaur sitcom?
No, the father.
The father?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess so, but people at home can't see your Google Images.
But they know the reference, the dinosaur show.
You know, my Wikipedia has been so infiltrated by the SPLC that if you look me up, and by the way, I know it's annoying how much I talk about myself.
I'm annoyed too.
I'm actually annoyed even now while I talk about how annoyed I am about how much I talk about myself.
It's insidious.
I'm working on it, guys.
But yeah, you look up my Wikipedia, speaking of me, me, me, me, me, and the sort of splash link on Google, before you click on the link, there's three, under Wikipedia, there's three books you should check out, three books or movies that sum up this guy.
One is my film, How to Be a Man.
One is my book, The Death of Cool.
And the other is the story of Sambo, Little Black Sambo.
That's one of the three things you can look up.
Isn't that Cory's story?
Well that comes from me saying Cory Booker is a Sambo.
I got in a lot of trouble for that from Media Matters and Right Wing Watch and all these.
But I think it's a pretty valid point.
I don't know if we already talked about this on the show, but did we?
Did we already podcast this?
I don't know if it was podcast or show, but yeah yeah.
Yeah we're recording a lot of content to launch this new show so we may overlap a little bit but just to be clear he's a rich kid a white kid he grew up in an all-white neighborhood like a lot of these black people who are super empowered and really into being black they didn't grow up black and he grew up in a he was the only black family in his neighborhood they had to actually I think get a lawyer to allow them to live there in New Jersey.
They were the only black couple that had ever lived in this beautiful affluent community and Booker's aware of that.
And the problem with black politicians is they're basically trying to appeal to white people because white people are the majority voters, right?
But white people don't like fake black people.
Obviously black people don't like fake black people.
But white people go, yeah, I need you to be a little more hood.
They let, they let Barack Obama get away with it, but they really want you to be kind of a Black Panther, which is why you see all rich mulatto kids in college become Malcolm X and have Black Panther posters.
It's not because they believe that.
It's because their friends go, uh, yeah, you're going to have to be a little more militant.
Um, You're my first black friend, and the fact that you watch The Office is not doing it for me.
You have to listen to Charles Mingus, and actually I don't even want you watching TV.
You have to be reading some weird communist manifesto, and you have to have a beret on.
And a lot of, you know, young black people are like, okay, if that'll make me popular, I know Indians like that, too.
American Indians, where they go, okay, I'll be American Indian Movement, if that's what you want me to be.
You want me to be more tokenistic?
Like if you want me to eat sushi and watch anime, basically.
Yeah.
Can you make robots or something, dude?
Fuck!
What good is a Japanese friend if I can't fucking... No, no one is impressed with a Japanese friend.
Although a Puerto Rican friend, yeah, you'd want him to be like one of those Puerto Rican separatists.
Like the guy that was on the parade float recently with that woman who has the man's name.
Show me a fucking butterfly knife trick.
I love what defines Puerto Ricans to you.
Steal my car.
Find the woman who had the Puerto Rican terrorist at the Puerto Rican Day Parade on the front of a float right after he got out of jail.
You may have noticed I'm slurring a little bit, folks.
I may or may not have had a beer before the show.
A beer.
A beer.
Just, I licked it.
I licked the top.
Convicted terrorist parade appearance cost Puerto Rican study center.
Now who's the woman, she's got the most male name on earth, who facilitated him being there?
If you can figure that out.
But yeah, Melissa Mark-Viverito.
Yeah, and they always leave out the Melissa thing, so they call her Mark Viverito.
It's very confusing.
But yeah, they want militant friends.
They want Black Panther friends.
White people annoy me.
Remember when there was the NYU thing where they locked themselves in the cafeteria?
I think it was called the Kimmel Center.
And they locked themselves in that cafeteria for days.
Very convenient place, by the way, revolutionaries, to lock yourselves up in.
You locked yourself up in a place where you can eat all the food you want and just go take a shit and just hang out with your friends and plug in your phone and look at your phone.
Sounds like a real tough hostage situation.
But anyway, they kidnapped themselves, and then they barricaded the doors.
And of course, the police and the security guards and everyone in the administration is petrified of being sued.
So they kind of let them get away with it, as that black politician said, give them room to riot.
So eventually they go, all right, well, you've been here for three days.
I think it was literally three days.
What's your demands?
And one of their demands was free tuition for Palestinian students, which we know what that means, right?
I want a cool Palestinian friend and I don't see any here.
Now they really want to say free tuition for Rastafarian students because they want a Rastafarian friend with huge dreadlocks but that would have been implausible and unlikely so they went with Palestinian.
I want a Palestinian friend.
So they went on strike To get Palestinian friends.
That's how fucking spoiled rich kids in New York are.
I just had an epiphany.
Uh oh, here we go.
You know how like the bigotry of low expectations is kind of the most racist thing and the left is guilty of that?
Yes.
Isn't it kind of like they want ugly girls to hang out with them?
You know like different races they're like they're so they could be the hot chick and they're surrounded by ugly girls aka lesser than cultures.
That's a shitty epiphany.
No, it's true.
That's a shit-piphany.
No, they don't know any black people.
They don't think black people are inferior.
They don't know any.
So it's not like they're going, oh, black people and Palestinians are such losers.
I want them around to make me look better.
They've never met one.
They don't, they've never hung out with a black guy, they've never hung out with a Hispanic dude, they've never hung out, well, besides their maid's son, they've never, so they have this pie-in-the-sky TV version.
When they think of a Rastafarian, they think of Bob Marley.
You know what I think of when I think of a Rastafarian?
Emilia Clarke?
I think of these dudes I see when I go to Jamaica who are prostitutes for fat ugly chicks.
Ew.
What the fuck are they called?
Um, it's a really funny pun.
It's like, uh, male prostitutes, right?
Yeah.
But they're not literally male prostitutes.
What these really fat, ugly woman do from all over the Western world is they go there and they, uh, they pay for everything for these Rastafarian dudes who are that the attitude in Jamaica, you have to understand is, uh, if you don't fuck a chick, you're a fag.
It's very homophobic there, but it's also pretty low standards for the ladies.
So, you will see ones walking around with these very attractive, and I'm not attracted to them, but I'm not blind, you know, eight or nine kind of Jamaican Rastafarian dudes with dreadlocks and six-packs just sort of leading these women down the street and they're paying for everything and it's...
It's pretty sad.
What are they called?
Brown sugar mamas?
You're just making that up?
Yeah.
No, it's a pun on Rastafari.
Like prostafari.
Rasta prostitutes?
We're not doing a good podcast.
Rastatudian?
Rent a Rasta?
Rent a Rasta, that's a good one.
I just watched a documentary called Rent-A-Rasta.
Has anyone else seen it?
Very interesting.
I'd love to hear others' thoughts.
I see Prastafarian.
Prastafarian!
There we go.
Didn't you get it?
Good work.
I thought you just said that.
Did I say that?
I think you just said it.
I think I said Prastafarian.
It didn't click that it was Prastafarian.
Prastafari.
Gotta have more of the prefix.
Last time I was there, my buddy Jeff, who lives down there, was like, you keep saying the West is the best, but look around us, man.
We are in the best.
And I'm looking, as he's talking, I'm literally looking to the left and right of his ear, and I see nothing but cinder blocks with rebar pointing out of the top of them.
And I'm like, are you fucking blind?
Jamaica sucks.
Like, I like the culture and stuff, But, uh, oh, what's this?
An article about Vic Berger.
Facebook and Twitter refused to act against far-left troll Vic Berger, who smeared family of Mike Cernovich.
Boop-a-doop-a-doo.
Vic Berger is a far-left troll, is a repeatedly targeted independent documentary filmmaker, blah-blah-blah.
Doctored images.
Yeah, Vic Berger did a video where he, um, He pretended Cernovich was beating his child and added in crying sounds.
Crudely, might I add.
Oh, the editor's two cents.
The baby sounds like it has a mic to its mouth, but meanwhile it's supposed to be in the background.
Right.
Good point.
I can't believe nobody didn't see that.
And Fickberger's the guy who doxed A Night for Freedom.
How do you dox a public event?
He announced it.
It was a secretly run event because conservatives in New York can only announce things within their little email list.
The day of.
And even then, there's a concern that Antifa would show up.
And Antifa did show up.
And they threatened me, and Cernovich, and our kids.
They said, bring their kids down here!
Then an old Jewish man left.
And the cop said, hey man, you need to probably take an Uber from here.
And he said, fuck that.
I'm a New Yorker.
I'm not ashamed of who I am.
These assholes calling me a Nazi.
I'm an old Jew.
And he left on his own accord and Tifa attacked him, beat him up, punched him in the face, strangled him, knocked him to the ground.
He had a seizure.
He went into cardiac arrest and was rushed to the hospital.
And some dunce, I think his name's John Campbell, the man who punched him, is facing 15 years in prison.
Now you want a crazy take on that?
You ready for this one?
I've said this before.
The Antifa Kid is one of the victims of this story because he fell for this bullshit brainwashed lie that there's Nazis everywhere and he started beating up a mythical Nazi who was an old Jewish man and he's gonna be in fucking prison upstate just like waiting in line for his mac and cheese trying to sit down try not to get raped try not to be accosted in the showers.
Why?
Because he thought he was punching Nazis.
And he was not.
Anyway, sorry, back to the news.
My new favorite chick.
And by the way, when I talk about these chicks I'm into, I'm not, um, cheating on my wife.
I don't even think I'm coveting thy neighbor's wife.
I'm saying you, hey guys, here's some chicks.
You might, what's his name, dude?
Scroll up to the caption in the picture.
It's like John Campbell.
Something Campbell yeah, I'm seeing Campbell.
Let me see the first name here David Campbell David Campbell David Campbell is a victim of Antifa propaganda, and he's in Antifa What's this now Linda Sarsour was was Posting with Roger Waters on a private jet Roger Waters you want to talk about anti-semitism that guy is a fucking Nazi He is off the deep end.
He is a Palestinian.
He would love for Israel not to exist.
In fact, he antagonizes various musicians who play Israel.
And you know what it is?
It's fucking British antisemitism.
British people love Palestinians.
They love the underdog.
I think they feel guilt for colonization and they can't wait to champion anyone who's fighting an oppressor, especially if the oppressor looks like a British white colonialist, which Israel does.
So they can't, we met them.
Ezra and I met them when we were in Israel and they have their little pamphlets and they're so smug and eager to, Ugh.
I have a little Palestinian flag soccer ball.
They're the worst.
But sorry, let's get back to the important matter at hand.
This new chick I like, I'm obviously not considering wooing her.
I'm taken.
But I want to talk about hot chicks to young men because I would like them to know who to pick.
Now what's her name again?
Big long Greek name?
Pull that shit up, Jamie.
Wow, man.
Why does it take you so long?
Dude, you lost it already, man.
That's crazy.
Heidi Anastasia or something.
Anyway, check out her videos online.
She's super hilarious.
Natasha Demetria.
Natasha Demetria.
So she's really good on what we do behind the shadows.
She's getting fat in her old age.
I think she's 35 now, and she's really putting on the pounds.
But Greeks, Greeks and Jews, they put on the pounds pretty good.
They're not like Polacks and Mexicans where they just get this huge inflatable gunt.
By the way, huge inflatable gunt is... they cancel their performance.
But yeah, she's a beautiful Greek woman, but more importantly, she's fucking hilarious.
She has this British, obviously British, but this blonde friend that she does videos with, and they make fun of Russians, and they make fun of women a lot.
They make fun of Russian women who are like prostitutes.
They make fun of these housewives with their quilted vests.
Play some of that.
Play some of that, and you'll see how- Spotted by Skaskia?
Bunch of grice, and some sheets of balm.
What a gorgeous looking crop.
What you want to do with these is place them one by one into the bin, because what you want to be working towards is getting rid of anything in your house that resembles a foodstuff.
In the box.
Oh, lovely.
Because a big mum's a bad mum.
In they go, one by one.
Just pause it.
Just to be clear here.
Her name's... What's her name?
Natasha Dimitrov.
There's certain names I just cannot fit into my head.
Like, there's a bartender near my house.
He's since moved, but I... I can never remember if he's Doug or Greg.
And people will say, it's Greg.
And within eight seconds, I've forgotten and can't remember if it's Doug.
Now, I know you go, well, you're drunk.
Yes, sir.
But I can remember every other bartender I know's name perfectly.
Anyway, in that little bit there, they were talking about how to lose weight and the solution was to throw all foodstuffs in the bin.
I'm not really selling her very well, but...
She's high quality.
In the book, The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead, Charles Murray talks about how to know how to find a mate.
And believe it or not, my wife's politics is not an issue.
My wife's pro-choice Which I'm not a fan of.
And she voted for Hillary, which was a big fight in the house for a long time.
But that doesn't really come up.
All we care about are our kids.
And we have the same taste in design, like how a house looks, right?
We have the same taste in music.
We have the same taste in comedy and movies.
Pretty much the same taste in books, but she reads fiction.
Exact same sense of humor.
So as far as 90% of your day, we're on the same page.
And Charles Murray talks about certain things you have to look at when you're looking at a mate.
And he says, there's certain things that are irrevocable.
I don't know if he talks about politics.
I think he does.
But I don't agree with that.
But he says things like, are you a tidy person?
If you're a tidy person, you can't marry a slob.
If you're punctual and you're obsessed with being exactly on time, you can't marry someone who's always late.
I know those sound petty, but they're actually intrinsic.
And they define your personality.
I don't know.
The other thing about relationships, I believe, is there's not that much thinking to do.
I think if a couple is meant to be, you can fucking screw it up a hundred times and you guys will get back together.
You should have seen my wife in my courtship.
It was a shit show.
I was much worse than her, but we both made terrible mistakes and eventually just kept like, bing bong.
Hey, is Emily there?
Oh fuck.
Look who, look what the cat dragged in.
And then we'd be back together.
Conversely, If there's a woman and you're not meant to be with her, um, I don't know.
You can go to couples therapy.
You can have all your friends call her and try to work it.
It's not happening, dude.
Like this letter we got on the show in, in the mailbag, which we'll get to shortly where this guy said, I'm a Marine and I just gotten big shit from, um, my girlfriend for getting in a fight.
Now, that is kind of a warning sign saying, uh, let's end this.
But it's also kind of a test to see how committed are you to, um, this relationship.
Should we just jump into the mailbag?
Sure.
Wow.
You don't sound very excited.
Let's, let's have the mailbag jump in to us.
Ryan, shut up.
You don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Now I gotta ask you, Ryan, as we start the mailbag, why did you play the video bumper on an audio podcast?
Makes me feel good, you know?
Because you're in it so much.
That's maybe why you spent, what, four hours working on that?
Well, it's telling me to shut up and telling me I don't have a dad.
I mean, I'm not in it in a positive way.
Bria Cate.
This is probably someone changing their name because they don't want to be announced.
Married 13 years.
I like this kind of letter, by the way.
This is a very New York thing.
Bam, bam, bam.
Yeah, get right into it.
You'll notice if you want directions in New York City, you can't go, hi, excuse me, I just came here from Colorado.
Boom.
They're so used to crackheads lying to them that they don't want to waste their time.
So you just have to go, where's 35th Street?
Or where's North?
Like you really gotta scream at them and they'll go, North is there!
Married 13 years, I'm 35.
I have a three year old girl that sleeps with us every night.
My wife never wants to fuck!
Many exclamation marks.
Is this normal?
It's getting less and less every year.
I'm only getting asked monthly.
Almost at rapist status.
I walked by a group of fives and sixes and I thought I was staring at a nine's buffet.
Almost tackled and ate them.
How do I make my wife horny again?
Or is this what life has in store for me?
Sir, thank you for your letter.
I'm there too sometimes.
You know, if my wife and I, our relationship is kind of rocky.
I went to a birthday party.
My wife and I haven't had intimate relations in a while.
And I went to some birthday party, karaoke party.
And the women there were so fucking beautiful, I almost fainted.
We're playing different songs, singing, one of them I sang a duet with, the Meat Loaf song, where it's like, uh, uh, what's that one?
Um, well, it was long ago and it was far away and it was so much better than it is today.
And it's a song about two people fucking.
And so there's a part where they're like climaxing and, and, uh, Will you love me forever?
Let me sleep on it.
Will you love me forever?
Couldn't take it anymore and I went crazy.
And I'm singing about fucking this woman and she's a 10.
So fucking beautiful.
It's shocking.
And her friend and they're all wearing stilettos cause it's a birthday party.
And I'm just, I'm at the Playboy mansion.
And then the next day I had the host of the party send me like their links just so I could lurk.
6.8s.
Nothing to write home about.
Not that pretty.
But it was the booze and the having not been laid for a few days that was brainwashing me.
I literally felt like I was at a 9's buffet.
So I appreciate your letter, sir.
I've been there.
Um, the two things I would say is one, don't masturbate and don't watch porn and you will make it happen.
As, as Tom Shalhoub said, the best thing about quitting porn is it makes you rape your wife.
Now, yes, you can take that out of context and you can pretend you don't get the joke and you can pretend that you're offended and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
No one's fucking raping their wife.
No one's sitting there as your wife's screaming, help, help!
And you're like, shut the fuck up!
It's not what we're talking about clearly.
Yes, that may have happened a couple times.
It's not a thing.
What we're saying is it gives you that extra hunger and I think women appreciate that.
When you're not just like, yeah, do you feel like fucking or no?
That's not a turn on.
I would argue, by the way, that women like premature ejaculation sometimes.
Because the thought is, I'm so fucking hot that he just can't last.
I'm so fucking gorgeous.
Like imagine a chick had a problem with premature ejaculation.
She's like, don't take your dick out.
Imagine you're with a woman and she's trying to think of baseball teams so she can last.
She's like, there's the Blue Jays, there's the Mets, there's the Yankees.
She's doing the alphabet backwards.
You catch her sort of going, Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T. So she won't come.
Because you're so fucking hot.
Keep them away.
That would be hilarious.
She whacks off before you guys sleep together because she doesn't want to jizz too soon.
Yeah, what is she going to say?
Just get out of there?
Like I finished?
Um, but here's the more important point.
Yes.
And single people love to tell you this.
Couples that are married with kids have sex less often.
But what no one mentions is after the kids get older to sleep in their own beds and don't take over your bed, which by the by takes the fuck of a long time.
I got a five-year-old kicking me in the crotch every night this week.
And sometimes he kicks me kind of hard.
I think he might have a subliminal thing where it's an alpha.
He's definitely an alpha, little Johnny Buffalo.
And I think he might see me as a threat to the matriarch.
So subliminally, instinctually, he's kicking me.
Just sort of like the second wolf down from the alpha will always attack the alpha.
I think subliminally he's trying to kick me out of bed, literally, because of some cave instinct.
And maybe it's because of boxing, but sometimes I'll be up in the middle of the night and I'll just like grab his leg and go, get the fuck out of here!
Like not hurt him, but like really shove his leg in a non-gentle way.
Because he's kicking me!
He started it!
He started it, dud.
Like my dad would give a shit.
Um, but, uh, after they get old enough, the sex comes back.
No one mentions that minor detail.
So they go, they always say like, when you get married, you stopped having sex.
Yeah, sort of temporarily.
Sure.
It is reduced to quickies and all that stuff.
But, um, you made human beings and they're around, but as soon as they stopped being around, We go back to biz.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Oh, that was gonna harmonize.
Okay, do you want to try it?
Yeah.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Wait, what are we doing?
The second part's harmonized, not the first part.
Okay.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's have a ride to the Rattlesnake.
Well, you can't change it.
Well, I forgot the words.
Me too.
And we sing it all the time.
I got nervous.
Yeah, that's what happens, yep.
Um, all right, let's do another letter, shall we?
We shall.
You know what I'm starting to do is be a little more picky.
Yeah.
And I don't put them in the mailbag if they're not good.
Like some people will go, I got this one where he goes, Hey man, I'm not really into punk, but, uh, this is my friend's band.
I'd love it if you could give it a listen.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
I don't listen to some random song out of what the 10 billion songs that were made this year.
I would though.
Okay.
Send it to Ryan.
Um, Ready for this one?
Again with the millennials asking relationship advice.
Gavin, I'm a 21 year old college athlete.
I've been dating this 8.6 for a little over a year now and things have been going okay besides the fact that every time she drinks she bitches about me not giving enough of my attention.
It's almost impossible with school, baseball, chillin' with the bros.
Not gonna lie, I did real well with the ladies prior to our relationship and the urge to fuck anything over a seven is still pretty much all day every day.
It really bums me out that I'll never be able to sow my wild oats ever again.
We stay together.
Having one more year of college makes me want to dump her and enjoy the pleasures of being able to bang whatever I want.
But I'm at a crossroads.
What do you think, Gav?
Dump the bitch, dude!
Let her go!
Now I know you say, wait a minute, aren't you a Catholic?
Aren't you a traditionalist?
Aren't you conservative?
Yeah, and if she was the one for you, you wouldn't be sending me an email.
I don't know you, horny student-athlete named Dylan Stevens.
Whoops, I just gave away his name.
Yeah, obviously if you're still wanting more, then you shouldn't marry her.
I think the ideal relationship is a young Catholic couple that met at 18, and they never fucked anyone else, and they got married and started churning out kids.
That's the ideal.
But that is very fucking rare, especially in our world here in New York City.
So, if you're in another situation that is not ideal, and you're a fucking hot chick that you can't stop thinking about other chicks, fucking sew your wild oats, bro.
Let her go.
It's like Louis CK said, he goes, I have kids.
I have a wife.
This is before he was divorced.
He goes, I, I have to be very careful what I do.
This is ironic actually, cause Louis CK ended up ruining his life by jerking off in front of women.
Right.
But in that old bit before we knew about that, he was talking about single men without kids and he goes, you could die and no one would give a shit.
So you're a young man.
Um, Who's getting laid, you can die.
Cliff Minor, I too am married to a Native American woman.
Okay.
I'm always dubious of this, by the way, whenever I see this.
My rule with Indians is you're not an Indian unless people ask you if you're Asian.
Every time someone says, oh, I'm married to an Indian too, I see her and I go, that's a fucking white chick with blonde hair.
Yeah, but her great great grandmother sat on a fucking Cherokee fart.
Okay.
Tell her congratulations.
Um... In Oklahoma, the tribes with headquarters within the state are allowed to issue their own vehicle registrations.
On one occasion, we were coming into a red traffic light, and as we slowed down, I noticed two vehicles ahead of us, and the vehicle to our right were wearing tribal plates.
Our Jeep just has a standard plate.
I quickly assessed the situation and told my wife, Circle the wagons!
Engines have surrounded!
Oh my god, this guy's so fucking corny.
What a douche.
My wife gave me a puzzled look and so I pointed at the tribal license plates.
She then slaps the back of my head and says, since we're outnumbered, I'm scalping you and going back with my people.
Oh, that is just classic, Cliff.
Oh my God.
You two sound like a ball of fun.
Wow.
Oh my god.
Thanks for the letter, Cliff.
That is a real, oh my god, that was a wild ride.
And we have a lot in common.
We're both married to brassy broads that are American Indians.
All right, he also has example two here on the mailbag where Cliff is hanging out with the same sort of racial demographics in marriage that I have.
So let's see what he's got.
You ready?
You ready?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Three or so years ago during the Washington Redskins name debate, my wife asked me for a favor.
Oh my gosh, who knows where this is going.
Can you imagine?
Neither of us are fans of the team, but she was so fed up with the quote-unquote debate that she wanted me to find and order her a maroon t-shirt emblazoned with the Redskins chief logo.
Oh my gosh.
That's wacky.
Oh no, it doesn't end there.
You ready for the final sentence?
She wears it proudly even now!
Oh my gosh!
Cliff!
Wow!
What a letter!
Is this a letter or a roller coaster?
What a wild fucking ride!
From old Cliffy!
You know what gets better?
Example three!
Hmm this final example is one that I recommend not repeating.
Oh Better not mention on the radio show during some playful banter one day.
I decided to play my Trump card.
Oh, no pun intended knowing that she would make me a We killed Custer remark.
I waited for it During some playful banter.
This sounds like a lie by the way.
I waited for it to drop my yeah but we won bomb.
Needless to say I did not win that day.
Even my good-natured wife took offense to this phrase and it resulted in some cold moments and as you have mentioned a very mean Native American woman.
Fortunately it only took one time.
The only way this letter Could be remotely valid as if it's someone fucking with me, trying to make fun of me.
And I'm reading a parody of myself.
Right.
And again, I said earlier in the show, I'm sorry about the megalomania, but if this guy is not a fake, then he needs to fuck off.
Fortunately, it only took one time for me to learn a lesson and consciously file this phrase away as to not use it again.
Nice grammar.
My Trail of Cheers joke didn't land me in this type of hot water.
Live and learn, I suppose.
Oh, God.
What a fucking dick.
I think the reason that men, after they have kids, they stop socializing is because there's younger men out there who say dumb shit like that.
Yeah.
That turns us into a morning zoo show.
Do you want to read one?
Yep.
Ottawa Posters by Cameron.
Just moved from Montreal to Ottawa to start a job for the Canadian government.
Yeah, yeah, fuck off.
Anyways, I was walking around checking out the neighborhood and I found all these posters trying to ostracize this minimum wage worker for a quote-unquote pushing hateful narratives image attached.
Pretty disgusting that these people, who you can be pretty sure aren't Muslim, would attack a member of their own community like this, and one who's pretty low on the totem pole.
Even though I just moved here, felt compelled to tear them down.
Sorry to say your hometown is Clown World Central.
All the best.
Cam'ron.
Here's the picture.
It's a flyer that's printed out black and white that says, meet the Mick Racist.
It says his full name, proud boy, armed Islamophobe, far right agitator, current employer, and they name exactly where he works, and there's a bunch of Who says he's doing that?
employer mcdonald's right well the exact mcdonald's like off of this avenue in the street and then it's the flyer says this guy has been posting far-right islamophobic conspiracy theories and pushing hateful narratives against our muslim neighbors friends and families since 2016 presidential election says he's doing that like is he preaching to people while they buy a big mac yeah um he's recently been sharing and liking content that glorifies Sharing and liking content?
Yeah, yeah.
So a McDonald's employee was liking content, but he probably had a Proud Boys tattoo, and he's an evil human.
Great, good work!
Good work.
Eventually we should get to the point where, and we're getting this way with music, where every employee that serves you food agrees with you politically.
Yeah.
And by the way, if you're so into that, you realize you're going to have very few Muslim people in the service industry.
A lot of Hispanics and blacks are against gay marriage.
Hispanic immigrant Mexicans tend to be Catholic.
They tend to be against gay marriage and against abortion.
And black people tend to be, especially working class religious black people, tend to be against gay marriage.
So I guess you want all them out of all your fast food places too?
Is that what you want?
Mixed diversity is our mixed strength.
This is the tweet that they pulled from him or something.
It says, this is what he says that they had printed out.
Islamists around the world are now going to be doubling down on their slaughter of innocent Christians due to the international outrage caused by the deaths of 50 Muslims.
90,000 Christians were butchered last year alone, but nobody cares.
So that's the tweet.
That's his hate tweet.
Yeah.
Those are just boring facts that are in the dictionary.
And he doesn't seem to be for the slaughtering of Christians is all.
So yeah, there's that.
Yeah.
If you, if you notice that Christians being slaughtered is not getting press, then you're a Nazi and McDonald's should fire you.
These people don't have jobs.
They've never worked.
They don't understand.
It's like that kid at the Cubs game who did the upside down OK symbol, which means I get to punch you.
Doesn't mean white power.
He's a bad guy.
And the reason you don't know that is because you never played that game because you're not fun.
And when they see Trump lose a billion dollars in the 80s, they don't understand that, no, that's his property being devalued because there was a real estate crash in New York in the 80s.
And the guy was a New York real estate mogul.
So he didn't literally lose a billion.
The value of his buildings went down a billion because he had a bunch of buildings.
That's the way entrepreneurs are.
You lose money some years.
You guys haven't run a business.
You don't see how it works.
Michael Knowles posted a clip from The Apprentice and he said apparently it's the media's first time watching The Apprentice.
And he's like, I was down one billion dollars and I came back better than ever.
Like he says it in his show.
Oh, Trump says that.
Yeah.
Like apparently it's there for the media.
Yeah.
The other thing about that too is, and we mentioned this on the video show that will be eventually released when we launched our new site.
They, they, they think paying taxes good.
So when they see someone hasn't paid tax, they go, well, that's the worst thing in the world.
No, maybe in New York, maybe in LA, when middle America hears that someone avoided a billion dollars in tax, they want to high five him.
Yeah.
It's like hearing about some 17 year old boy who fucked his math teacher, his hot female math teacher.
We don't go, what the fuck?
You were raped.
You're not supposed to do that.
That's fucked up.
I hope she goes to jail for life.
We go, Sounds like you need a high five, my friend.
By the way, that'll be taken out of context and say, Gavin McInnes supports statutory rape.
No.
Which they did to Tucker Carlson.
He said the same thing I just said, and they pretended that he's really, uh, worried about, uh, I mean, sorry, that he loves statutory rape.
Oh boy.
Ugh.
Alright, I think we're out of time here.
I'm not doing Vet DSI today.
What do you think of that?
I think that's, uh...
Not a good idea?
And we should do it?
Use your sports knowledge this year.
And now.
And go to betdsi.com forward slash Gavin.
You use the passcode Gavin.
You log in there and you deposit money.
45 bucks is actually much better for me than 25 bucks.
And it makes sports more fun.
They have the odds on not just sports, just about everything.
They've been doing this for a long time.
They have the highest payback, the quickest payback time in all of these betting sites.
It's an absolutely wonderful place to go.
And, um, what else should I say about it?
NCAA, all that stuff?
Well, it makes it more fun that you could, uh, be involved in the game.
Yeah.
Higher stakes.
Yeah.
So yeah, go to betdsi.com forward slash Gavin.
I think that's probably going to be my last read.
That's a really big reads guy.
Um...
Yes, folks.
We're launching the site soon.
Pretty nerve-wracking.
Gotta get that out.
That's boring to tell you, though.
I hate when people do behind-the-scenes stuff.
Like when you buy a magazine and there's a letter from the editor going, well, it's finally here.
This was a real hassle.
And Bette Midler almost dropped out.
And we finally talked to the Rolling Stones.
But here we are.
The beast of burden has finally arrived.
And you go, yeah, I don't need to hear you putting your socks on in the morning.
You're ruining it.
That's crazy, man.
That is crazy.
Was that it?
No, I want to end with my new slogan.
Oh, yes.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
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