Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E01 - THIS IS A TEST

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May 8, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

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S02E01 - THIS IS A TEST

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Time	Text
	This is a test.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Too many sounds here are taking my ear hoes.
	By playing that rock beats from LA hoes.
	The same old thing, same old shit.
	I'm tired of once on the paper.
	That was Paris, the rapper Paris.
	Big in the early 90s.
	And I chose that song because this is a test.
	We are testing out our equipment in our new studio.
	As far as what you see, this might be one of the last videos you see if you're going from the newest to the oldest.
	But for us, in our hearts, this is the first episode.
	And these are the last time I'm going to wear these glasses.
	You don't realize how cockeyed you are until you see yourself.
	I was really into that rapper when I was a young man.
	I was sort of jaded with punk in the early 90s.
	It seemed over.
	And rap like NWA was so brave and raunchy.
	And fuck the police and stuff like that.
	It just seemed more rebellious than punk.
	I think there was a mass exodus from punk to rap in those days.
	But I look back on it now and I'm shocked at how racist it is.
	Like that album is called The Devil Made Me Do It.
	Meaning I killed white people.
	I killed cops because they're white and white people were killing us, so we had to fight back.
	Lots of his songs are like that.
	In fact, one of his albums just has dead cops hanging out of their cars, which I'm not into anymore.
	I don't like the idea of violence against police, but I liked it when I was 22 for some strange reason.
	And it was weird that you're sitting there listening to all these songs about white people.
	And Ice Cube had a song called White Cave Bitch about how disgusting white women are.
	And as young men in the 90s, we just sit there with our headphones bobbing our heads.
	That is the same as black people listening to white power music, which never, ever happens.
	White people are the only people who will bob their heads to poems about how much they suck.
	It reminds me of this movement in Florida called the Uhuru Solidarity Movement, where they are pro-reparations.
	It's white people protesting white people.
	And a lot of them are lesbians.
	Jewish lesbians seem to really be attracted to this movement.
	And a lot of it is just about black empowerment, which is great.
	But a lot of it is about screw white people, black power.
	Look at her.
	She's holding a black power pamphlet that she's handing out.
	Can you imagine a black person handing out a white power pamphlet?
	It's unthinkable.
	Yet the media, when they talk about Proud Boys, they say, oh, it's multiracial white supremacy.
	There is no such thing.
	There's such a thing as white people into black supremacy, but it never goes the other way around.
	I'm not exactly positive why.
	I don't really care.
	What I do care about, though, is that thing I just said, the multiracial white supremacy.
	That's proud boys being talked about, black proud boys being told they're part of a white nationalist movement.
	That I care about because it's fake news.
	And I want to talk about that on this show.
	This show might not be the typical show.
	I'm going to have the mailbag.
	We're going to take calls, live calls.
	I want to end every show with a viral video, stuff like that.
	I have my little green screen commentary thing, but not this prototype show.
	This pilot episode is not a prototype.
	I want to dive right into the concept of fake news, and I have two guests on today, Avi Yamini and Cassandra Fairbanks.
	Cassandra's going to be here to talk about, oops, I just gave you the finger.
	Cassandra's going to be here to talk about Julian Assange and all the myths around him.
	This is an old episode for you, but he was just busted and is facing the death penalty.
	And Ava Yamini was just banned from America for being a terrorist that wants to kill Jim Jeffries.
	Jeff, Jeff, Jim Jeffries is what we call him here.
	Jeff Jimreys.
	Jeff Jimreys.
	Jim Jeffries.
	Hey, Jim Jeffries parents.
	What are you doing?
	Should have called him Kevin or Matthew.
	Jim Jeffries, it sounds like he's good luck.
	Like, oh, you caught a Jim Jeffries.
	Did you make a wish?
	It's better than Jeff Jeffries, though.
	Wait, if you're talking on the mic, we got to try your crappy camera.
	It's being way too crappy.
	What do you mean?
	Let's see.
	It's not existing at the moment.
	Why not?
	Because it's not showing up.
	The software here is irritable, but it does work.
	You keep saying this.
	We keep have Skype trouble because it's irritable.
	Computers aren't irritable.
	An old jalopy is.
	A hot rod is.
	They have like a personality to them.
	But computers are on or off.
	They work or they don't.
	You're pushing the wrong button.
	I mean, well, this does work, but this is laggy.
	So I could do this, but it's a little.
	Oh, you got to fix your hair, of course.
	I just touched it because I...
	It helps calibrate.
	Yeah.
	Computers are finicky, and hair helps calibrate them.
	Just so you know.
	All right, so there's two parts of the story.
	The first part is Abby Yamini gets asked to do the Jim Jeffries show.
	Avi says, yes, I'll do it.
	But I don't want to be with any Nazis on the show.
	I'm an Orthodox Jew.
	And secondly, don't take my answers out of context and shift them all around.
	So let's jump ahead if we can.
	That's him explaining what I just explained.
	And they did exactly that.
	Let's see.
	Oh, sorry.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	Wait, wait.
	Major detail.
	He put his phone down and he recorded it in real time.
	And then he started releasing what really happened with the interview.
	But let's just watch some of it.
	The right to tell anyone where they can and can't live.
	When you import this culture, what do you think is going to happen?
	Australia's going to end up the same shithole that they came from, that they were escaping.
	Watch how Jim Jeffries has edited this last clip to make me look like an ass.
	See what I really said.
	What gives anyone the right to tell anyone where they can and can't be?
	Really quickly.
	Wouldn't it just be an obvious if we got to a place in society where we could just give this utopia?
	Where we all just lived as well.
	On a level I grew up.
	You may say I'm a dreamer.
	I think most people, most sensible people would agree in theory.
	So he was obviously sympathetic to Jim Jeffries' ridiculous utopia.
	What are you talking about?
	What gives anyone the right to tell anyone where they can live?
	I have the right in my house to tell you you can't live in my house.
	What is he talking about?
	A world without borders?
	Okay, yeah.
	Once we're all as wealthy as, say, me, once we're all middle-class New Yorkers, I guess we could discuss no borders.
	It seems kind of weird, but I'm open to that.
	But we don't have that.
	We have 7 billion people, of which maybe a billion got it going on.
	That means 6 billion want to be where that billion is.
	Everyone in the Middle East wants to be, wants Israel.
	They want that quality of life.
	Sorry, there'd be no Israel if we broke down the borders.
	What a ridiculous, asinine thing to say.
	And that's Jim Jeffries.
	That's the left in a nutshell.
	They just say nice things.
	And then politicians repeat them.
	And then women vote for them.
	But he does much worse things.
	You see, what Jim Jeffries did with this tape is he pretended he was just interviewing Avi.
	Then he splices him together with a bunch of Nazis.
	Then he makes the story, this is who influenced the Christ church killer.
	This is who blew up the mosque.
	Go ahead.
	Do you have the other one?
	There was two videos.
	The second one shows better examples.
	And then while Ryan digs that up, I will tell you that the second part of this story is that he went to America to interview Jim Jeffries and interview people who attended his show saying, you know how much this is edited?
	And Comedy Central called the FBI, said Avi's a terrorist, and it worked.
	He was banned from the country.
	He was sent back to Australia, where he belongs.
	Find the other clip.
	What are you doing?
	What's taking you so goddamn long?
	We have to go through a different version here.
	There we go.
	I got it.
	Jews because they thought the place was a shithole.
	No, but they did.
	That makes sense.
	You don't understand.
	You don't get it.
	Do you feel lucky to be born into Australia?
	Absolutely.
	Because you could have been born into what you called one of these shithole countries.
	If you look at the polls in Australia done by the Poles, get them out of here.
	Just also, another important note.
	The sketchpad that Jim Jeffries is holding, he drew Muhammad on.
	Said he's a wobbly ghost trying to get Avi to be Islamophobic.
	They didn't show that, of course.
	Statistically, say in America, there's way more homegrown terrorists than there are Islamic terrorists.
	I think you're nuts.
	Just, can you pause it again?
	I hate when people say that stupid statistic.
	They say that Trump's a Nazi.
	Everyone who votes for him is a Nazi.
	50% of the country is Nazis.
	And then they say the Nazis are more responsible for terrorism than the Islamic terrorists.
	And they include things like some KKK bitch killed her husband.
	That's white supremacist terrorism.
	What?
	And then they try to include Columbine and all these other school shootings.
	That's not terrorism.
	Stop it.
	You're full of it.
	We know when we think of terrorism, we know San Bernardino, Pulse, Nightclub.
	We know September 11th.
	We know the Westside Highway.
	We know Fort Hood.
	We know Oklahoma.
	Yes, Charlottesville was white supremacist terrorism.
	Sure, that's one.
	Just keep repeating that one.
	Maybe your point will be made magically.
	It doesn't hurt me if you believe in crazy ideas.
	What hurts me is when your crazy ideas preach killing me.
	That's when I have a problem.
	And that's the issue here.
	People don't understand.
	The biggest point of conversation now is Islamic immigration.
	You don't understand.
	You don't get it if you think it's.
	But statistically say in America, there's way more harm.
	Okay, that's enough.
	And you'll notice, by the way, they say, statistically, say in America, like they're just randomly choosing a country.
	Yeah, how convenient that you leave out Pakistan, Somalia, India, all of the Middle East.
	I'm just going to say Canada.
	And you'll still, by the way, if you say Canada, still have plenty of Muslim terrorism, including two in one week.
	Anyway, let's talk to Avi about getting banned and this stitch up that Jim did to him.
	Should I throw him that bumper that I made there?
	Let's have a cool bumper first.
	I Avi, are you there, sir?
	I'm here, brother.
	How you doing?
	I'm good.
	I'm good.
	So we were just talking about your case.
	And it's fascinating to me that Comedy Central now defines who comes in and out of the country.
	They are the new border guards.
	We talk about Clown World and how this is a joke.
	And then the head of jokes, Comedy Central, is defining whether you can come and see a Jem Jeffries show.
	It's absolutely bizarre, isn't it?
	They keep talking about Trump's America.
	I just didn't expect it to pan out this way.
	And their evidence is I have pictures with him carrying tons of guns.
	And this is, of course, when you're in the IDF.
	Oh, well, isn't that a surprise?
	A military man carrying guns.
	And by the way, Israel is an ally of America, so we want their soldiers.
	I served alongside American Marines.
	We actually trained together.
	In fact, the weapon I was carrying was an American M4.
	You know, there's plenty of people I don't like, and I would be tempted to call the FBI and say this person's a terrorist just to sabotage their lives.
	But, well, first of all, that's unethical, but it's also illegal.
	I would get in trouble if I did this.
	Why don't they get in trouble?
	You can't just willy-nilly say that guy's a terrorist.
	Listen, like I've said from the beginning of this whole situation, is if it was protocol, I have no problem with it.
	I'm somebody that believes in strong borders.
	I believe in border security.
	I believe in law and order.
	But if somebody's played the system here because they have connections or they knew how they could play the system, the fact is that at the end of the day, I got cleared by the FBI because it was obvious that I wasn't there to carry out any sort of terror incident.
	It's kind of funny even saying it to you.
	I want to kill Jim Jeffries.
	Okay.
	I'm a psychoterrorist.
	I'm a white supremacist who hates brown people and wants them all to die.
	That was weird.
	Let's try to get back on track here.
	This is strictly Comedy Central pulling strings because they don't want to be embarrassed because you caught them lying.
	They've invested a lot of money into Jim Jeffries.
	He's a brand.
	He's a product of theirs.
	And you have the potential.
	He's a very triggered brand.
	I've got to admit.
	Right now, he is the most triggered brand I've ever met.
	He's even blocked me.
	He has no problem featuring me on his show.
	He has no problem keeping that defamatory content online.
	In fact, it's playing here on our cable TV.
	Amazing.
	But he's blocked me from Twitter.
	And what was it like when you were being interrogated?
	Did they tell you why?
	Like, when did you find out Comedy Central had done it?
	Listen, I'm going to be honest.
	I walked into that room and when the FBI flashed their badges, I was like, I was in a fucking movie.
	I was like, this is the most epic thing to ever happen.
	Well, you just had a 15-hour flight.
	But I was starstruck.
	I was there in front of the FBI.
	I just felt like I've just gone to NCIS or some shit.
	And I was like, this is an awesome story to tell in the pub on the weekend.
	I couldn't believe it.
	It was bizarre to me because, you know, like the allegations were just laughable.
	And the thing is, the FBI agents that were there at the time were not even taking themselves seriously.
	Right, right, right.
	That's how much of a joke it all was.
	Has Jim Jeffries reacted to any of this besides blocking you?
	Have we heard him say anything?
	No, refuses to.
	Refuses to on every level.
	So from the beginning, their tactic has been, and I've spoken to other comedians in Hollywood who have told me literally their tactic is to ignore and it'll all blow over.
	And I keep saying this to them every opportunity I get, I tell them, just please, I will give you my mom's number.
	Talk to my mum.
	I promise you this is not blowing over.
	Yes.
	Well, let's make sure it doesn't blow over.
	Let's you and I keep hammering them because this should be a much bigger scandal.
	I'm frustrated that more people don't know about this.
	You caught him in the act.
	You have the footage.
	Let's blow it up.
	Metaphorically, FBI.
	Metaphorically.
	Don't get me in trouble.
	I'm planning on coming back.
	I've been going over this in my head.
	You know, why?
	You know, when it came out and when I realized, like, I was literally at a Purim event.
	Purim is like the Jewish, you know, it's the night you go out, you get hammered, you dress up.
	Like it's the party night of the Jews.
	And I was out at an event and some like rabbi with a big beard comes up to me and he says, mate, I saw you last night on Jim Jeffries and he slaughtered you.
	Oh, you should have done that interview.
	And he was, the fact is, he believed the content he'd seen.
	He believed, like, to be honest, if I'd watched it without seeing the truth, I would have believed it too.
	And I would have really disliked that person because the way they had me answering stuff, I sounded like a total prick.
	And I was just sitting there and I opened the video and I watched it and I couldn't believe my eyes.
	And I was just so, I was angry.
	And I just turned to this guy, I go, trust me, wait till tomorrow.
	You will see what really happened.
	You'll see the truth.
	I'm going to expose it.
	And trust me, it's not what you've just watched.
	And I was sure at the time that when I released the truth, the truth of the answers, just even forget about what Jim Jeffries himself has said, because I have no problem with what he said really in theory.
	I have no problem with it.
	As a comic, you can say that.
	I actually stand for free speech.
	Say it.
	Just don't point fingers at me when a Christchurch incident happens.
	But more than that is the way he cut up the interviews, the way he cut and sliced my answers, even my facial reactions.
	Like he literally, he would say something ridiculous to me and I would pull a face like, dude, seriously.
	And then he would cut that, that reaction with something kind of like sensible that he said to make me look like I'm just unreasonable.
	I'm a fanatic.
	I'm an extremist.
	And the sad thing is, like, he thought he could walk into the room and that I would just be that.
	And obviously, it didn't pan out that way because I'm not actually that.
	And I didn't answer him the way he wanted to.
	So he had to cut it up.
	Luckily, he was that cocky and that arrogant that he didn't see me place those two phones down.
	I don't know how he didn't.
	You know, the same thing happened to me with Trevor Noah on the Daily Show.
	And I didn't have it on tape.
	So I had to just tell everyone and hope they took my word for it.
	Well, let's not let this die.
	Let's keep antagonizing this bastard because people don't watch news anymore.
	News gets 100,000, 300,000 views.
	Comedians is where America gets their news, and that's to the tune of millions.
	So we have to nip this in the button.
	And people have tried to tell me, oh, RV mate, stop being that snowflake that you, you know, you, you, you say everything.
	And I have no problem.
	I have no problem with comedy.
	I laugh at everything.
	I laugh literally at everything.
	And, you know, there are people even from within my own community that'll be very uncomfortable about the things that I'm willing to laugh at.
	But context matters.
	And the fact is, if you frame something as a serious story, and there was no joking in that story, he walked into that pointing fingers at people who radicalized the Christchurch killer, one of the biggest scumbags on this planet.
	He walked in there, pointing fingers at this guy because the way he speaks about radical Islam, he is responsible for what this other white supremacist scumbag's gone and done.
	There is no humor in that.
	There's nothing funny.
	It's also dangerous.
	That puts your life in jeopardy, my friend, when he calls you that.
	On every level.
	on every level, like even I'm willing to stand up and be the face of countering radicalism, which already puts you in a tough spot.
	Yeah.
	You know, often.
	But I want, I think that the only fair thing is to be portrayed exactly how you are.
	And there are many scumbags out there, and I'm not taking away from that.
	And the Christchurch killer is a perfect example of it.
	But to go and take someone who is standing out there every single day, countering literally the same sort of extremist views you're pointing at, and turning him into that, into that same sort of monster, by cutting up his own words, it's a disgrace.
	And comedy is no excuse for that.
	No.
	Ever.
	And I don't even care what side of politics you're on.
	If this happened to someone on the left, I would stand just as firmly about this matter.
	Unbelievable.
	Well, we got to go run a time, but I hope to see you at Tommy's trial there on May 13th.
	I'll see you there.
	And I promise you, if the wine was as good as the flight to here, I've literally come offline.
	I'm using this.
	This is my excuse to all your audience is I literally, I was doing the Jewish thing.
	The wine was free.
	And in my faith, when things are free, you double down.
	You're like the Scots.
	You're like us Scots in many ways.
	We can't resist free booze.
	I'm willing to own it.
	I'm a proud Scot in that fashion.
	Yes.
	All right, Avi.
	Thanks for coming on, man.
	All right, bro.
	I'll see you then, mate.
	Make math plan.
	This mustache is hard to make symmetrical.
	Those guys that go jloop, I tried that once with mustache wax, and then I would laugh once, and they'd be incongruous.
	So I just try to make them straight, keep them down.
	Yeah.
	And again, America gets their news from comedians now.
	CNN, Anderson Cooper.
	I remember seeing ratings for Anderson Cooper, and they were 120,000.
	He did a Facebook Live thing, and I think it got 600 viewers on CNN.
	And then you have Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel getting millions upon millions of viewers.
	And these guys all have the same political view.
	All talk show hosts are anti-Trump and love Hillary and think Trump is a Nazi.
	All of them.
	Isn't that bizarre?
	That is propaganda.
	I always make fun of Canada and Britain for having the CBC and the BBC government-controlled media.
	But we don't have government-controlled media, but we still have, what's the word I'm looking for?
	Homogeneous media.
	God, that was presented pretty badly.
	All right.
	So this is old news for you.
	It's new news for us.
	Julian Assange was just busted.
	And it's just a given that everything you're hearing about him is true.
	And one of the things the Ecuadorian embassy is telling everyone is that he smeared shit all over the walls.
	And not only is this smug media accepting that as a fact, they're pontificating about it in a really callous and cold way.
	This is a Guardian reporter who says, I love bad house guest stories, but Julian Assange really puts it over the top.
	This is Hadley Freeman.
	I love stories of badly behaved house guests.
	And it just goes on.
	What is the, let me read the subhead there.
	Surely no one is feeling any emotion as intensely as the happiness currently experienced by the staff and especially the cleaners at the Ecuador Embassy.
	This is like when that dude, Nakula Basi Nakula, the guy who made the Muhammad video, he was thrown in prison for a year.
	And the attitude, even at Fox News, among conservatives, was very sort of, haha, you shouldn't have done that.
	We're so cold.
	We're so heartless.
	The left, of course, is much more.
	They're much more vitriolic.
	They want you fired.
	They want you ruined.
	They want you divorced.
	You'd be surprised how many sort of Twitter comments were attacking my marriage.
	And then there was a rumor that I had been divorced.
	Not even close to true.
	And all of these single, blogging, feminist bitches were just ecstatic and kept rubbing my nose in my divorce, which isn't happening.
	Bizarre.
	Look at her.
	Ugh.
	What a hideous cow.
	Oh, that reminds me.
	We don't have time on this weird episode because we're cramming in so much anti-fake news, but we will be updating the 25 hottest babes.
	We did the hottest chicks in the world video that's going to become an amorphous list that's always changing.
	So next episode, we'll update them.
	And she's made it to what?
	She's number 17, I believe, right?
	She is the number one hottest chick.
	She has that deal breaker, which is thinning hair.
	That's something cankles we can work with.
	Giant areolas?
	Give me some time.
	You can see right through that thinning.
	Seeing right through your hair, go to Singapore, get plugs in, and then come back and we can talk.
	It is a deal breaker.
	Even obesity, I mean, 600 pounds is obviously a deal breaker, but a gut?
	I don't know.
	We'll find a way.
	Sitting here, no, I saw the movie Sin City once.
	Remember that cool kind of comic bookie movie?
	Yeah, it was very steep seats.
	By the way, if you're talking, we don't want to see the back of your head, dude.
	Sorry.
	Let's see your face.
	Oh, I've now froze.
	Well, that doesn't make us look very good.
	No, that'll be fixed.
	When?
	Now.
	Now it's fixed.
	There's Ryan.
	I knew it.
	I was just watching going, how long till he adjusts his hair?
	And you knew that I was watching you, so you pretended to scratch, but it was really kind of a fluff.
	It was like, oh, my head's so itchy.
	It is itchy.
	Fluff.
	You know when somebody gets hit in the balls in a movie and you hold your balls?
	Yeah?
	Well, it's like I saw the thinning hair and it makes me just want to touch my hair.
	No, that's a lie.
	You always correct your hair in every picture because you're a woman.
	You're vain.
	I'm the son of a girl.
	You grew up without a dad?
	Your mom was not in the picture and your dad wasn't even there when you were born.
	So their hairdressing influence does not exist.
	You grew up in a female household and you like watching children's movies and you tussle your hair.
	Back to you.
	Let's go to Cassandra and bust some myths about Julian Assange because it's important that you guys know that you are being lied to.
	Bumper.
	Bumper.
	Cassandra, are you there?
	Hey, I am.
	How are you doing?
	Good.
	How are you?
	Pretty good.
	You know, I was thinking about you recently.
	You're a very lovey-dovey, kind of a soft person.
	That doesn't sound very flattering.
	It sounds like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
	But remember when that Chelsea Manning stuff was happening and she stabbed you in the back?
	And you said, I don't want to talk about her.
	I'll just cry.
	And then I noticed with this, with Julian Assange, I sent you an article where this woman's, some British cow was saying, oh, I love bad house guest stories and this one really tops it.
	And I said, you got to read how smug these people are.
	And you said, I can't.
	I'm too, it'll make me too sad.
	You have lots of feels for someone on the right.
	I have a lot of feelings, especially about this.
	It's something that I've been, you know, involved with or supporting for 10 years now.
	My dog is named after WikiLeaks.
	This is like, it's an important cause and it's something that I believe in very heavily.
	Wikileaks and Assange sort of brought you to the right, didn't they?
	Kind of, yeah.
	I mean, I would definitely not be on the right if I hadn't realized how corrupt the DNC was.
	Right.
	And obviously I knew that Hillary Clinton had said she wanted to drone Julian, and so I wasn't about to vote for somebody who wanted to murder my friend.
	I think he's more than a friend to you.
	I think you're in love with him.
	No, he's my friend.
	I have a boyfriend.
	Okay.
	He wrote a nice note to my boyfriend, actually, in January when I visited him.
	What if your boyfriend were to get in a horrible plane wreck and Assange was freed?
	Would the morning process be not so long?
	He's like a Mr. Miyagi to me.
	Oh, I get it.
	I want to just do a quick interview.
	We don't have a lot of time, but I want to just, you're a great person to go to for Assange myths.
	Now, the top myth that everyone says is, yeah, he released a bunch of documents involving government behavior.
	That's fine and everything if it's all corruption, but he put translators and other people who would help the American military, he put them on blast, and then now they're going to get killed.
	He put our guys at risk and our allies at risk.
	What do you say to that one?
	So, first of all, the Pentagon repeatedly testified during the Manning trial that nobody got killed, nobody got hurt, and nobody even had to be moved because of the release.
	They also originally claimed that there were 300 people whose names should have been redacted from the files but weren't, but they clearly hadn't actually read the release because those names were redacted and they later had to correct themselves.
	Also, you know, on a less evidence-based defense of this, the blood, any blood is on the hands of the neocons that pushed for the war in the first place.
	Like, why isn't Bill Crystal or, you know, John McCain, the ghost of John McCain on trial?
	Those are the people who got everybody killed.
	They got a lot more people killed with their lies than Julian Gutt could have even potentially got hurt with his truth.
	Yeah, good point.
	No one cared about civilians and innocent people when Obama was drone striking the Middle East.
	All of a sudden, those bodies were irrelevant.
	Right.
	But now they're worried about his translator.
	It's hypocritical.
	Okay, myth number two.
	Did Julian Assange smear shit on his bathroom wall?
	No.
	Anyone who knows Julian has like laughed at this to the point where nobody even knew how to address it because Julian is like, he's really, I don't want to say anal, especially given the pun that happened there.
	It's an unfortunate term for people who are overly clean.
	Yeah, he's very, he's very OCD.
	Like he has, he's set in his ways.
	I've been to that embassy a bunch of times.
	I've been in that bathroom.
	There's a note hanging above the toilet paper that says it has to hang over, not under.
	Like he's very particular.
	I couldn't agree more.
	Don't you think that all toilet paper should be over, not under?
	Yeah, I don't know why it even needed a note, but it there's my wife makes it under.
	It's hanging out like a poor person putting his hand out.
	Oh, no.
	It should be like a gay man saying, hi.
	Well, yeah, it's just, it's ridiculous.
	And while I was in London this last time when I was chasing down the undercovers who were camped outside the embassy, I got leaked a copy of his transcript from October when he testified trying to fight the gag that Ecuador had placed on him.
	And he specifically talked about how they were smearing him with outrageous lies and he couldn't defend himself because he was gagged.
	And so they knew that they could say anything they wanted, no matter how outrageous, and people were going to buy it because he couldn't defend himself.
	And so I think somebody was drunk and was like, I bet we can get papers to print that he smeared shit on the walls.
	Oops, sorry.
	I don't have anything.
	Oh, we can swear on this one.
	Yeah, that's fascinating.
	Isn't it also interesting how Trump is OCD and the story about him that what's his name?
	Roseanne's ex there, Tom, what the hell's his name?
	Tom Arnold was pushing send me the tapes, find me the tapes.
	That was the name of his vice show.
	And it was all about this assumption that Trump had prostitutes urinate on a bed that Barack Obama was on.
	Meanwhile, he's way too into germs and cleanliness to ever want to see anyone go to any kind of bathroom, anywhere.
	Right.
	It's just as ridiculous to say it about Julian.
	Like, I just, I don't know.
	I think these people inject their own world, their own view, their own disgusting habits on us.
	And they tend to want to create this picture, which I think is actually just an insight into their souls.
	Right.
	And they're gross.
	Okay, so isn't a lot of this, though, the Ecuadorian president mad that a picture leaked of him having lobster in bed, and he wanted to just kick Julian out because he thought that was Julian's fault, having that picture leak?
	Well, that was the excuse that he made to avoid international embarrassment.
	But WikiLeaks didn't release the INA papers.
	They simply tweeted a link to something about it.
	But the deal was made in October for Ecuador to hand over Julian Assange.
	It was made with Ambassador Richard Rick Grinnell from Germany because, you know, of course the German ambassador would be the one making deals with Ecuador.
	Wait, I know Rick Grinnell, the gay guy.
	Yeah.
	I thought he was a guy.
	The one who made the deal in October.
	Wait a minute.
	Our friend?
	I've had Rick on my show.
	He facilitated Julian Assange being arrested?
	Yeah.
	And the deal was that he got an assurance that Julian would not be executed, but it was only a verbal agreement, and the DOJ has refused to sign anything saying it's true.
	Oh, my God.
	We've got to get him on the show.
	What a coup.
	Et too, Rick?
	Yeah, that's how I felt, because I've always wrote positive things about him.
	I've defended him many times.
	And so I was not too pleased when the reports came out the other night that he's the one who facilitated all of this.
	That's two gay friends who have stabbed us in the back recently.
	Although Chelsea wasn't exactly my BF, but she stabbed you in the back.
	So I understand why Chelsea did what she did.
	And I have no ill will about that.
	I just sent a letter off to her.
	I especially, like, I still have a tremendous amount of respect for her.
	No matter what you think of what she did back then, or, you know, whatever Manning did back then.
	The issue now that she's sitting in jail for 40 days because she's refusing to testify against Julian Assange, even though she doesn't even like him, is a pretty bold statement.
	It's a pretty brave thing to do.
	That's pretty good.
	You're right.
	You know, you're right.
	All right.
	So he didn't put anyone in jeopardy with WikiLeaks.
	Hillary Clinton's emails in the DNC, that was, can that be linked to Julian Assange?
	Well, yeah, I mean, they released it.
	But there's, so the people who found that the Russians were the ones who stole the DNC emails, it was a group called CrowdStrike who was hired by the DNC.
	The DNC never turned their servers over to the FBI.
	Julian maintains that it was not a state actor.
	Craig Murray, the former UK ambassador to Uzbekistan, said that he's the one who met with the source near American University in DC and got the files and that he was American.
	Bill Binney, the former technical director of the NSA, has done his own forensics on the files and he found that it had to have come from somebody who stuck a drive into a computer and took them locally.
	So the fact that none of this is included in the Mueller report and that he didn't bother talking to any of these people is pretty ridiculous.
	Isn't a common criticism that Assange helped the Russians hack our election?
	Yeah, but it's not true.
	And that's why they really hate him.
	That's why there was that gloating article about I love bad house guests because they blame Julian for Hillary losing.
	Yeah.
	That's all it comes down to.
	They're claiming that this is only about Manning, but there's a secret grand jury convened against Assange right now in D.C. And they asked two witnesses last week about me visiting Julian.
	And I didn't know Julian during the Manning stuff, and I didn't start visiting him until after the election.
	So clearly they're looking into more information than just what he did in 2010.
	Wait, are you in trouble?
	Are you in danger of getting arrested or anything?
	Who knows?
	Chelsea might have to make room for me because I'm not testifying either.
	Wow.
	Well, the good news is we are heavily linked to all the top gangs in the country.
	So if you do get arrested, we can break you out of prison no problem using helicopters and stuff.
	It's going to be a cinch.
	Chains and we'll rip the bars out in the middle of the night.
	It'll be cool.
	All right, Sandy.
	Thank you.
	So feel safe.
	Thank you for coming on the show and thank you for dispelling all these stupid myths.
	I hate when people comply with the government and take the side of authority over rebellion.
	It's disturbing.
	Me too.
	Hey, bye.
	Bye.
	Thanks for having me.
	Back and forth.
	I never stick.
	I'm so if I just run it.
	Punks are shunned.
	I can't believe my boy.
	My N-word, my ninja, my neighbor, your dude.
	My dude, Rick Grinnell, was responsible for all this.
	That's something we will be following up on.
	I wonder if he'll get back to me.
	I was so happy when he got the ambassador to Germany a ship.
	And why is the ambassador to Germany negotiating with the Ecuadorian embassy about Julian Assange?
	There's nothing German about Julian.
	Isn't he Australian?
	Schlafen die gut und reimen sie soos.
	That's real, isn't it?
	What was that quote from that woman who wrote that article?
	This man is facing the death penalty.
	He will be murdered by the government for something that he's not guilty of.
	And instead of us going, yikes, that's disturbing.
	If it was puppies, if a puppy was facing the death penalty for this, people would be up in arms.
	We are much more sympathetic to dogs than we are to human beings.
	In the subtitle of the article, she has more sympathy for the people cleaning the poo-poo.
	She was like, I feel bad for the people cleaning up the poo-poo.
	Don't say poo-poo, say shit.
	Shit.
	Let me see the quote.
	So I thank Julian Assange, not a phrase I've used before, ever, for raising the bar on Nightmare HouseGuests with the frankly enthralling details emerging from his almost seven-year stay in London's Ecuadorian embassy, that he has finally been, that he has finally been ejected.
	Ugh, that is one of the worst paragraphs I've ever read.
	Disgusting.
	She is why everyone hates the middle class, the bourgeoisie.
	Spoken like a real number one hottest woman of all time.
	Okay, we, we, so there's things in this episode that are atypical.
	We're going to have mailbags.
	We're going to have calls.
	We're going to have green screens.
	We're also going to end everything with a funny little video.
	And there's a video here, freak out at a cafe.
	And I thought it was good for this episode because it shows the total lack of empathy people in general have these days.
	And it disturbs me.
	I think it's a symptom of the left.
	But my boy Ryan here noticed something I didn't know.
	And this is him being more intelligent than me, which is a shocker.
	This is fake.
	I think so.
	And I followed a little trail about it.
	So why are you saying you think so?
	You know so.
	I know.
	But before I thought, this was pre-closet.
	Thanks for updating us on that.
	All right, well, that was clunky.
	But yeah, so I found out that there was a PR stunt done by the coffee place and also some local production company.
	And the way I could tell is you'll see the way he's projecting his voice to the whole cafe.
	Yeah.
	Looks like he's playing to the camera.
	Well, I fell for it, but let's just show it.
	When you first told me his computer was a real giveaway, because no one wants to wreck a computer.
	They're $5,000, right?
	Yeah.
	And that computer looks like a prop.
	It's probably never, it was probably never a working computer.
	Can you get, I have a real computer at home that's dead to me.
	It's a brick because it died of old age.
	Can't you use one of those?
	Yeah, what is that?
	Like the first Lenovo?
	I'm embarrassed that I thought this was real.
	Who goes like this to fix something on a keyboard?
	I was thinking, okay, when I saw that, keep playing it.
	I was thinking about male suicide, about how white males especially are killing themselves more than ever before.
	The stats are out of control.
	And I thought, this guy's having a nervous breakdown because he has to do a presentation, as he keeps saying.
	But he gave me a bad day.
	Luck, that is what should have given wipes.
	They never flop back unless they're a studio prop.
	But he does get arrested at the end.
	Do you think the cops were real?
	I don't think you can get the cops in on a prank.
	So I think he got arrested and that's just part of the whole...
	I'm really sorry.
	And do you think those people leaving are part of the prank?
	No, I think they're like...
	If I was there, I would hope that I would come up to him and go, dude, what's going on?
	Just calm down.
	Calm down.
	Calm down.
	Give me that.
	Give me that.
	Right.
	You're freaking out.
	It's just a computer.
	It's just a weird computer from the year 2001.
	Just the first computer.
	It's just a handmade computer.
	Yeah, what is that thing?
	So either someone's, this is him snapping from being a normal guy, or he's a lunatic that got far in the corporate world.
	Which I don't believe.
	Yeah, like, why is this guy running away?
	He's not brandishing a weapon.
	He's jumping up and down on his own computer.
	Well, he is wielding the biggest computer ever.
	And he doesn't care if it breaks.
	Why did your brother die?
	He got hit in the head with a computer.
	What?
	It must have been a hell of a computer.
	Yeah, it is.
	Look at it.
	It's a cave weapon.
	Remember those Macs with the see-through back that came in through the different colors?
	It was that one.
	And these are the fastest cops in the history of police response.
	Yeah.
	All right, so I fell for that.
	I'm throwing Ryan a bone because he figured out something before me.
	And I'm not picking my nose when you see me do this.
	I have an itchy nose, just like that philosopher, Slovev Zizik.
	And so I'm itching inside of my nose, okay?
	I'm Scottish.
	We're meant to be in wet, rainy terrain and not this dry, polleny country called America.
	Although I'm very happy to be here, and I'm happy to itch my nose and get out of that hellhole called Scotland.
	Like my dad says, best thing about Scotland, you never get homesick.
	He also says, they are stupid and ugly and violent.
	And he's two of those.
	All right, we're out of time, folks.
	And the takeaway for today's episode is not only don't believe what you read, but don't believe comedians and these whimsical satirists in left-wing papers who joke about feces on walls like it's not going to cost a man his life.
	We're approaching a dark time.
	We're frogs boiling in water and we're sitting here while this authoritative state decides who can live, who couldn't breathe.
	And we go as people die.
	Let's have some humanity back, please.
	don't save all your empathy for a bag of puppies that was found in the dumpster by Coachella.
	That's a real story.
	Take me out, Ryan.
	I'm Paris, the Asiatic lord of light with the power to fight and write rhymes instead.
	Cause I'm hotter than lava when I be up on a microphone.
	By night, you should know at the pole it's over than most.

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