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Jan. 28, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
57:54
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #108 | Roger Stone did nothing wrong

Today we get into the overkill FBI raid of Roger's home, the suspiciously convenient timing of CNN's reporter who staked out Roger's home due to his "instinct" and an hour later got the footage. SNL had Steve Martin portraying Roger, and it stunk. We also talk stories for kids, pirates, Anthony Cumia becoming one of NYC's "crazy people" and more.     PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUICK SURVEY! https://survey.libsyn.com/getoffmylawnpod

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Time Text
Roger Stone did nothing wrong.
What did he do?
No one knows what he did.
They just go, seven counts, felonies.
They're so excited to get their hunk of flesh, their punk of meat, their pound of flesh.
That they go, seven felonies.
It's weird seeing them ass-kiss the law so much, too.
Remember that guy, Basla Nikuli Basli, or God, they have stupid names, these non-Western people.
Basla Nikuli Basla or something?
He was the guy who made the Muhammad video.
And he was Obama, he was blamed for Benghazi, and Obama threw him in jail for a year.
And he came out, it was right out of Stalinist, Czechoslovakia.
He came out of jail saying, yes, I understand Mr. Obama works very hard.
And I am so sorry for this great, great man.
Yes, good boy.
Good boy.
I remember I was on Fox News and the right-wingers were saying, yeah, well, if he didn't want to go to jail, he shouldn't have broken the law.
And I would go, what law did he break?
And no one knew.
They're just like, well, that's the law.
Hey, guys, everything is illegal.
Everything.
That's a great book, by the way.
It's called Everything is Illegal.
You probably committed about a felony a week and plenty of misdemeanors every day.
Have you seen how many laws there are?
Stossel sometimes will roll them out.
Hillary was guaranteeing an arrest.
She guaranteed one of the Marines' fathers this, one of the guys who was killed in Benghazi.
She said, don't worry, we're going to arrest the guy who did this, who made that video.
And the father wasn't impressed because he goes, for what?
You can guarantee an arrest before there's a crime?
Yep.
So the crime he committed was he had got involved and spent, I believe, a year in prison a long time ago for, I'm talking about the Egyptian guy who made the Muhammad video, for fraud, for stealing people's identities.
And so one of the rules of his probation was he cannot ever use a fake name again.
Now, in the Muhammad video, he used a fake name.
Van Gogh's grandson made a video, an anti-Islam video with Ayan Hirsiali.
Guess what he got when he used his real name?
He got a rapier through the chest with a note talking about don't you dare ever insult Islam again, which it's kind of a stupid note to leave through someone's heart because they're clearly not going to be doing it again.
But you know what his last words were?
I think his name's Theo Van Gogh.
Can we please talk about this?
Those are his last words.
Pamela Geller made a movie with that title.
And yeah, I can forget.
Well, first of all, I forgive him for the identity theft.
He did a year in prison.
A man serves his penance.
That's what our society says.
You're supposed to be a clean slate after that, A. B, I can forgive him for making an anti-Islam video.
He's Christian in Egypt.
He's a Coptic Christian.
You know what they are getting over there right now?
They are getting crucified, literally crucified.
They're crucifying children.
It's a genocide.
No one talks about the genocide of Christians all over the Middle East.
Northern Iraq, they're getting murdered on a daily basis.
If we're taking any refugees, how about we start with those?
They have the same religion as 75% of the country.
Seems like a good place to start.
And when you say that to the left, they go, oh, you can't be a refugee if you don't think like us.
Okay, you can phrase it that way.
Fine.
So what this guy did, well, sorry.
So yeah, so we're done with the Muhammad video, right?
Oh, yeah.
So she guaranteed an arrest.
Then she discovered, or the FBI, whatever, discovered that he had used a fake name and they pinned him on that.
Just like Al Capone with tax evasion, like they'll find something when they want you in the clink.
And they don't necessarily want Roger in the clink, but they want him to be scared so he'll flip on Trump.
So what they do is they go through everything he's ever said with a fine-tooth comb.
They find an inconsistency and then they call that a lie.
So for example, they say, have you ever written to anyone about Wikileaks and Julian Assange?
He says no.
Then they go through thousands and thousands of emails and they find he did say something about Julian Assange in an email.
And written sounds so much fancier than an email, right?
Especially because now the left doesn't like the word emails because it makes Hillary look bad.
So they say, have you ever written about this?
And that sounds like a book or an article or something.
So he said no.
So now that's lying to a federal agent, which is, I think, a felony.
So he could be doing time.
He's emptied his bank account on this thing.
And did you see Steve Martin did him on SNL?
I'm just seeing.
Yeah, I was wondering why his picture popped up in Google.
So corny.
And you know what I think?
I think the left is, the entire country is so divided that they don't know who any of our guys are.
So I think this is the first time a lot of liberals have ever heard of Roger Stone.
I mean, to us, he's the Nixon guy.
Proud boys do his security all the time.
He's the Trump guy.
He was the advisor there.
He was the guy who encouraged Trump to run in the first place.
I mean, we've known about Roger for a hell of a long time.
I'm friends with him.
I've known him forever.
He's got like an almost Forrest Gump style influence throughout history.
Yeah, he just keeps showing up in pictures.
Looking younger and younger, depending on how black and white it is.
Yeah, it is odd.
Yeah, so the SNL sketch, the joke was that he looks weird.
Nice.
They did a Tucker Carlson.
Go ahead, Harry.
Can you play it?
Now, here with his side of the story is a man you look at and instantly think, I trust this guy.
Please welcome Roger Stone.
Steve Martin looking like a blind lunatic, not how Roger Stone behaves.
What a fun couple of days.
I'm loving the ride.
Go, Nixon.
Mr. Stone, you've had a harrowing past 36 hours.
Your home was raided.
You were arrested and charged with seven felony counts, including lying to Congress.
And that was four counts.
The indictment says seven.
Okay, I'm lying.
Honestly, I think I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
I mean, seven felonies, one, two, three.
I can't even count that high.
I'm full of that.
What's the joke here?
Mr. Stone, what I think you're really trying to say is that you're a feeble old man, right?
Oh, yeah, right.
The pity thing I want to go with.
I'm just a poor, helpless old man.
I'm 66.
I'm almost as old as Sting.
And that's why it was so awful the way the police raided your home.
Exactly.
This is an expensive thing.
That's harrowing.
God, I hate the writers at SNL.
I can see them in their American apparel sweatshirts and their rich dads, and they're just so bitter and snarky.
Yeah, but there's no excuse for Steve Martin.
Like, he should take pride in doing a fucking impression of a guy.
And he's like, wow, he would do a little bit of research and be like, this guy's actually been pretty influential.
Let me at least try to get one mannerism from.
No person involved in this sketch has ever heard of Roger Stone before, including Steve Martin.
If you want to do Roger Stone, you've got to...
He has these weird mannerisms where his hands become these boats that shoot out of the water and then up into the sky, almost near like a curvy Z-Kile or something.
Let's not knock orgies right away.
Yeah, that's not bad.
That's not bad.
It's better than his weird Bronx accent.
Yeah, what the f- But he's very effusive.
He's always gesticulating, and he has sort of a stern manner to him.
He doesn't pop his head back like a clown.
He's not a clowny guy.
No.
He's very subdued.
I had dinner with him and Tucker Carlson, actually.
And this is before all this.
And before, you know, my shitstorm happened with the Otaya Yamaguchi thing.
But Tucker sat down and he goes, I don't think I could be sitting down with two more newsworthy people in America.
And then after that, he had his house raided.
I had everything deplatformed, attacked.
And then Roger Stone has the FBI.
Something like 29 agents, was it?
They come pouring in.
And my favorite part of the whole story is this CNN kid.
You got to find him.
Who was there?
Guess what time he started his stakeout at Rogers' house based on a hunch?
5 a.m.
They were there at 6 a.m.
World's greatest stakeout artist.
I mean, you talk to private detectives.
If we still had a show, that would be a funny thing to do.
Dig up some private detectives who follow like some woman when a couple's getting divorced.
And I bet they go, yeah, stakeouts suck.
You know, it's usually three days.
Three days you're in that fucking car, you know, drinking coffee.
You can't look at your phone.
You always got to be staring at the house.
And usually within three days, sometimes four, you might catch her having an affair.
This guy waited one hour.
And CNN is still trying to pretend they didn't get tipped off.
Find his name.
The kid who was there, there was two.
There was him and his cameraman.
He's got a funny name.
His name's David Schortell.
Yeah, that explains it.
That sounds right.
I mean, David Schordel and then his photographer.
Like, they both think this is going to make their careers.
And they don't think that they're going to get caught.
And the audacity is shocking to me.
I was watching CNN all morning, that morning that he was arrested.
God, there's this insanely hot newscaster.
She's older than me.
I'm 48.
Her name's like, it's a weird spelling, like Crystal something.
And she, I forget her name, but alarmingly hot.
What's her name?
She's brought to tears by Bourdain's death.
Is she new?
No, that's not her.
No, no, no, no.
She's gross.
Anyway, she's gross.
And she said, she said, and I quote, she said, and blah, blah, blah, our news crew just happened to be there.
She used the words just happened to be there.
The audacity.
How stupid do you think we are?
Why is everyone ignoring that?
They shouldn't.
See, if the right had any balls or any humor, there he is.
They could have done so many sketches on this kid, David Shortel.
Is that his name?
Yeah.
David Shortel is prescient enough.
So this is his story.
He goes, the FBI, whatever, the investigative group, they usually meet on Fridays.
This time they met on Thursday.
And I thought, something's up.
So I flew from D.C. with my cameraman.
And then he's got a French name like Gaston or something.
I flew to Fort Lauderdale to be at Roger Stone's house because I sensed the FBI.
Like, why would you even sense that?
Say he was going to get arrested.
Everyone sane would assume that he'd get a phone call.
And they did this to Proud Boys, too.
They just called them up and said, hey, man, there's a warrant out for your arrest.
Okay, I'll be in there with my lawyer in an hour.
Okay, bye.
So the normal, here, if it wasn't Clown World, then the normal thing would be Roger Stone's attorney would get a call from the FBI and the attorney would say, oh, for crying out loud.
Then he'd call Roger at 7 a.m. when he was awake and say, hey, man, bad news.
We got to go in.
And Roger would have a shower, put his suit on and go, this is so gay.
And he'd go in.
But a SWAT team, what's Roger Stone going to do?
Say hello to my little friends.
Yeah.
And you need 27 of them because, you know, if you watch that scene, it's like the 29th one that takes Tony out with the shotgun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So those brave men with the FBI SWAT, they knew that 28 of them weren't coming home that night.
Said goodbye.
Goodbye, sweetie.
I'm going to apprehend Mr. Magoo.
What number are you?
John, what number?
I can't say.
It's not good.
It's not the one who remains.
How many people did they use to get Osama bin Laden?
Look that up.
I think it was 12.
Like a handful?
Yeah, it's like 11.
Exactly one handful.
And it wasn't just Osama bin Laden.
I mean, it was his compound.
So they didn't.
There's a few melons they had to split open with AKs.
There's a few craniums they had to.
They had to.
SEAL TEAM 6.
I'm guessing there's more than 6 people.
Aerate.
Let breathe.
I ruined that joke.
Comedy's so unforgiving.
I didn't even see a joke coming.
Was it supposed to be?
I was trying to aerate their scalps.
Just trying to use funny verbiage.
Oh, I see, okay.
Splitting melons.
Well, it still worked.
Anyway.
So that kid, on a hunch, goes, Yeah, hey, French cameraman, let's go down to Roger Stone's house.
Oh, why?
Because I think the FBI is going to storm him in the morning.
Why would he not just call the lawyer?
No, I think the FBI swad is going to go in there.
But that makes no sense.
The only time you would have that many people going to storm a man's house is if you wanted to frame him and you needed public opinion to be against him.
So you had to make it a giant spectacle.
And then incurious bastards over at SNL would fall for it and make it a big thing about seven counts and seven counts and how scary and evil it is.
Now I'm a Russian guy.
I've left France and I went east to Russia where I had a different accent.
And soon they will slowly drift into Jamaican man.
Always happens.
So him and the cameraman get there, I guess, let's say like at nine o'clock at night, whatever.
And the cameraman, if he was sane and didn't know about the FBI tip-off, he probably said, hey, we should get going to the house.
I'm worried they're going to already be busting his ass.
And then David Shortel must have went, no, we're good.
Let's have a nap.
Oh, David, you're crazy.
No, no, we're fine.
Let's have a nap.
We'll get up early, get up early four, have a shower, you know, wash your armpits.
Hey, what do you want to get for Brekkies?
I don't want Brekkies.
We have.
We have Brekkies.
Are you out of your mind?
Et vous fu croi!
Art de niserilo.
And then, so yeah, they have breakfast.
They have a waffle.
And then they set up for their stakeout at five.
And their stakeout is literally the shortest stakeout in major news history.
Like, he needs a world record.
He needs, he should be in Guinness.
Wait, I got a breakfast joke for the.
What did they say?
CNN reporter instinct led us to get footage of Rogers Duranda Records.
That's not tip off.
That's concrete.
It's almost like he read his horoscope and then decided to go.
Who fucking believes that?
I want to meet, I want to become Indiana Jones, but instead of rare artifacts, I go and find people who believe this bullshit.
I want to sit down with them.
It's sort of like when I was on a quest to find guys who actually like fake tits, and I did find one.
But I want to go on a quest to find someone to go, yeah, he's just got a really good gut instinct.
A flat earth conversation is right around the corner when you find them.
Like, it's got to be.
Like, maybe he was tipped off, but the cameraman wasn't, and the cameraman is just standing in awe of his news partner.
I thought you were crazy when you said you didn't want to go to the stakeout right away, but you live life on the hedge.
You are amazing.
We waited there for one hour.
And they got all this great footage.
They got Roger coming there.
No other news sources.
No one else had the hunch.
Back up?
Like, even the cops, when they're arresting somebody for stealing a bag of Cheetos, they're like, can you just back up a little bit?
But I guess they wouldn't tell me.
No one's even looking at them.
Right.
What's going on with that camera?
Oh, that's CNN.
They have really good hunches.
How the fuck do they know to be here?
I don't think the FBI knows that they're supposed to be pretending that this guy just showed up on a hunch.
So they're just like, oh, there's the reporter we tipped off.
Like, no one told them to pretend, like, to say, step back, reporter, that I don't know.
I've never spoken to.
What a fiasco.
I texted Roger about it.
I said, you're a national hero, sir.
And he texted back, we're living in a police state.
That's her.
That's her.
Oh, that's her.
Yeah, that's the one who said, it just happened.
We just so happened to be there.
To lie and deceive and to dodge and to tamper according to this indictment is extraordinary.
Joining us now is CNN producer David Shortel.
He was on the scene when this happened.
Find out who she is.
Tell us every story.
She's like 15.
She's Rachel Melfie, hot.
Rachel Melfie?
Dr. Melfie from Sopranos.
Yeah.
There's certain kind of women that are just boner-inducing.
Just after the hour.
About a half-lush vehicles with sirens, but no sound.
Silent sirens pull in front of this Fort Lauderdale home where Roger Sohn was presumably asleep.
The lights were off in the house.
About a dozen officers, FBI agents wearing tactical vests and with large weapons fanned out.
So corrupt.
Just stop.
The fact that he's doubling down and saying it's a hunch, you know what he's doing, right?
He has 18 in blackjack and he's saying, hit me.
Like he is all in Chris Hayes.
And he's saying, if they find out that I got tipped off, I'm fucked.
So I'm just going to put all my eggs in this basket and say, fuck.
Oh, you should put that on your bingo card.
That eggs in the basket.
I'm just going to pretend that this was a hunch.
I'm just going to say it straight face.
And I either have an awesome career now because I have the quickest steak out of all time, or I have to get, you know, I have to go back to school and take speech pathology and get a new career because I'm done here.
Yeah, it seems like his job isn't to be a talking guy either, right?
...wrapped on the door, shined a flashlight inside, said FBI opened the door.
Moments later, as you heard in the video, it said FBI warrant.
That's what the agent said.
We then saw a light go on the second floor, and moments later, there was Roger Stone in the doorway.
22.
Our video exclusively, you saw a shot by Gil de la Rosa.
Gil de la Rosa.
Gill.
Gilles la Rosa.
That's the guy I was doing earlier who was saying, I can't.
You have to find out who that chick is.
She's my new favorite.
Let me see who that is.
It's like Mariah Carey.
Like, no one likes her, but your dick just loves her.
I don't know.
She looks like a who.
She's too round in the face for me.
Well, it's these high-up little cheeks, these puffy little cheekbone things that are high up if they have those right under the eye.
It's kind of a sloakian thing.
I don't know.
I think a girl must have broke my heart with those same cheekbones because I don't like those.
I think they're chipmunk-esque or something.
Every guy assumes that everyone else shares his type.
Yeah.
And then you show him your type and they go, young Sophila Ren?
Gross.
Well, because I believe, I agree with your statement, but I don't think she's the gold standard for bone or deuce.
I think the hottest one in the world is a young Beatrice Dowell.
Googling.
She is the winner.
But you still have to find out who that chick is while I chat away here.
You know, that dinner I had with Tucker and Roger, the one I noticed, we're all being very reasonable and having these theories and what's happening to the country.
And are we facing civil war?
And Jesus Christ, what the fuck has happened?
And then, you know, these people are reprehensible and throwing feces and urine.
And oh my God, it's like the French Revolution all over again.
And everyone's agreeing.
And then there'd be some, oh, those disgusting perverts.
And then Roger would stop.
And he'd go, that's none of our business, really, what adults do consensually on their own time.
And I noticed that as a pattern.
Every time I talked about any kind of pervert, he would stop agreeing with me and go, you need to just mind your own business with these people.
It's not up to you how these people behave.
And I realized, you get up to some pretty rude business, don't you, Raj?
Perfectly consensual.
But, you know, you see him sometimes at gay pride parades wearing leather and stuff.
He's a very exciting man.
This is why, this is a problem with the left.
Again, I'm sorry to keep repeating this, but it's a war on color.
And what are Alex Jones?
Alex Jones is a Sandy Hook guy.
Not really, not to most of us.
Like, that was a horrible thing he said seven years ago.
And you kicked him off social media like a few months ago.
So it clearly wasn't about Sandy Hook.
There's a seven-year gap there.
It's because he's colorful.
He's too dynamic.
And he might get Trump re-elected.
Yeah, that's her.
The same with Roger Stone.
He's too colorful.
He's too interesting.
He's too effective.
In fact, at my boxing gym, a cop came up to me and he said, what they done to you, they always say this.
What they've done to you is fucking bullshit, man.
You got a lot more support than you know, especially in the rank and file.
And one thing I've learned from this whole, this fight after my talk is that the rank and file is as powerless as we are.
Like, you think knowing cops means you get all this cool shit?
You can't even get a parking ticket ripped up.
They are powerless.
All I could, I was like, can you get me some inside info?
And they're like, I don't know who you pissed off, but you fucking pissed some people off.
This case is weird.
In fact, I can't talk to you on the phone.
Your phone's bugged.
The lawyers for them told me that.
They said, call me from a different phone.
Sometimes when I would talk to Roger, I would text, we would talk to the FBI and we'd say things like, this is a witch hunt.
What are you doing?
Because we knew they were reading our text.
They talked directly to the...
I do that to the NYPD too.
I'll talk to them and go, Shirley, that's her.
Wait, you just passed her.
Right there, yeah.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
What's her name?
Yeah, Allison Camarota, but with a Y. Allison with a Y. Camarota.
And it comes up really quick.
She's my new favorite.
Total brainwash nightmare, but what woman isn't?
Sexism.
Why is he so sexist?
Is that Kaffegon?
That's Kaffekin being sexist.
Why does he say such sexist things?
Because I like bacon.
Because I don't think women have a predilection for politics.
They're too emotional.
They buy too many pillows.
They elected Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama.
They're not known for their cold, tough love voting behavior.
It's more like who's cool and who's a hunk.
She is gorgeous.
And she's older than me.
Pretty smoky.
She's an old lady.
I mean, we're seeing a lot of makeup and stuff, but very sexual looking.
I don't know.
I can't explain why.
But there's just something very sexy.
I don't mean lingerie.
I see.
I think it's the cheekbones.
She's got some heavy bosoms, too.
Oh, I didn't even notice.
I'm so feminist.
I didn't even notice.
Oh, yeah.
Also, tits are for fags.
Yeah.
I forgot about that.
So we'll see what happens.
My guess is Roger doesn't say a word because there's nothing to say.
And he gets a year in prison, which is called jail.
Prison is more than a year.
And he serves like six months.
Because as soon as he says no, and as soon as there's a prison sentence, the Dem's lost.
It didn't work.
This is a bluff to make him spill the beans.
So as soon as he calls their bluff and goes to prison, it could be like a week.
They don't care.
They could send him to 10 years and then let him out in a week.
Remember that happened with Hillary?
There was a couple who were involved in some real estate scam with the Clinton family.
And the husband, they had micknames, Scottish last names.
The husband, there was a gate.
Was it Bridgegate, Whitegate or something?
But there was a couple, a married couple with Scottish last names.
I think he ratted her out, ratted them out, and he mysteriously killed himself in prison, as do so many of the people who crossed the Clintons.
She kept her mouth shut and magically was pardoned by Bill Clinton and free to go.
People don't understand.
They have so much faith in the government.
It's all Tammany Hall.
It's all corrupt.
Boss Tweed, Bill the Butcher, that hasn't changed.
Cuomo is Bill, sorry, Cuomo is boss Tweed.
It's corruption down to its core.
And they say, if we could only, if we could just, you know, have this tax for this carbon thing, for this better solar panels, the money doesn't go to that.
We should have a tax for the Indians.
Even if you get the money to the reservation, the chiefs are going to take it all.
The lower peons will never get it.
When you throw money at education, it doesn't go to the kids.
It goes to the massive administration, the backlog.
Is his name Jim McDougall?
I believe so.
Did he die in prison?
Was he involved in the Clintons?
Well, he died in 98.
Let me see.
Yeah, that's about right.
Anyway, I've been fighting a lot of...
What?
I believe that's him.
Oh, no, no.
Oh, okay.
He said he died of a heart attack at Federal Correctional Facility.
Yeah.
A heart attack.
What a quinky dink.
Like their chef who drowned face down in a creek while camping by himself.
Totally normal.
Or the guy who wrote a book called Hillary Should Not Be President, and he killed himself also on a camping trip.
I believe he shot himself in the back of the head on top of a mountain.
Yeah, that happens sometimes.
Mountains are kind of depressing.
There's even a mountain in Japan that you go to and you kill yourself.
It's like a little hike.
And then the one guy, the guy who just got shot, Seth Rich, and nobody ran his pockets in D.C., was that him?
Yep, yep.
That's funny you say that because I was just on Breakneck Mountain with cops.
Ah, that's my old stomping ground.
That's right across the river from my home.
Oh, cool.
I wanted to go with you, but you guys forgot about me.
That's exactly what happened.
God, fighting cops, there's certain bodies like Alex Jones has.
And when you punch Alex Jones, it's like you're punching a tree.
And when he punches you, it's like you're getting hit by a car.
Like it's confusing.
I was boxing on Saturday with this guy.
He wasn't a cop, but he punched me in the face.
They do this thing where they go, just get me with whatever you want, right?
Don't hold back.
But they neglect to mention that if you punch me in the face, I'm punching you in the face.
So it's like you're boxing in the mirror.
They just give to you whatever you gave to them.
And I got punched in the face so hard that I was totally confused.
I felt like saying, I thought we were boxing.
Why did someone just hit me in the head with a lead pipe?
Isn't that illegal?
But no, that was a human fist, a giant black man covered in sweat who was fat.
Just pounded me.
You said it was like a Tyson wrapped in fat, like a Mike Tyson with fat on top of it.
Yeah, it was Mike Tyson wearing a fat suit.
There's still Mike Tyson underneath.
He can wear whatever he wants.
He can wear ballet slippers.
He's still going to kill you.
Do you understand that there's boxers and there's fighters?
Yeah, I've heard you say that the other day.
And sometimes you see them fight, and it's a totally different strategy.
The boxer is the sweet science guy doing the deeks and moving and not punching very hard.
And then the fighter is just like a street fight, flailing, lunatic.
And the problem, that's what Tyson was, but you need incredible stamina to be a fighter because you're going full out like, you killed my mother.
And you're just trying to kill the guy.
So the boxers are more vulnerable because if that fighter connects with any of those crazy punches, it's going to be very bad.
But the fighter is at a disadvantage because he's going to get tie-tie.
Yeah.
He's just kind of throwing whatever.
There's less technique, so therefore less, I mean, more energy exerted or something like that.
Yes.
But what about the power of the punch?
You think, like, doesn't technique lend itself to, like, you get more power behind the punch because you have better technique?
Yeah, but look at Rufio Panman and that Antifa guy.
He had a giant Haymaker right hook, which you're not supposed to do right hooks.
No, yeah.
And his glasses, sunglasses went off to Mars.
Dude, he got air, and then he pushed him down.
He just like threw him down.
Dude.
Well, he passed out, and then he was a treat.
And then Rufio was like, I got to get on with my day here.
I'm being attacked by a mob.
You're going to have to.
Then he pushed.
You ever push over a dead tree?
It's a super satisfying feeling.
Oh, yeah, it is.
The crunch is very.
Especially the ones you can sort of rock a bit.
And then you feel the bottom starting to go.
That's great on Matopoeas right there.
Yeah, I got to go in the woods again.
I really missed out with that hike thing.
I got to go knock down some trees and stuff.
Or box.
Or box.
The cop at the gym was telling me that he said, you know, these are crazy times we're living in.
You know, a fun question I like to ask them these days is, would you want your kid to be a cop?
And they always say no.
Always.
And these are guys that are third, fourth generation cops.
But things are different now.
And a lot of these guys lived through, you know, pre-Juliani, it was also pretty bad.
In the 80s, they were human garbage as far as New York City is concerned.
That's why you hear about all these settlements where the cops pay out $5 million here and $3 million there and $10 million there.
And you go, will you stop just blowing money on every Tom, Dick, and Harry who complains?
They have to do that because the city, the people of New York hate them so much that if it ever got into court, you'd have this jury of all people who live in the East Village, Harlem, and they just, they hate the cops.
And so they would just say, yeah, how about a fucking 100 million?
Yeah, make it 100 million.
And so the city would go bankrupt.
So they have to settle early because they know they'll get eaten alive by a jury.
But yeah, he told me that after that, remember the Black Lives Matter thing where five cops were killed in Dallas?
So he put on his Facebook something like, hey, next time there's a crime or you feel unsafe, you're in danger, you've been robbed or something, just call Black Lives Matter.
They'll come and save the day.
Or call Sean King.
Great point.
Why don't you give Sean King a call and he can come?
No need to call 911.
You don't need us.
Something like that.
Clearly sarcastic, right?
Yeah.
And he got in big shit for it.
From the police station?
Yeah.
That really pisses me off.
I got so mad that I made people uncomfortable and they stopped talking to me.
But the thing that pisses me off about that is it goes back to the Catholic school kids where that interviewer said, and I quote, to stand your ground is somewhat aggressive, don't you think?
End of quote.
So to not sit there and take it is a crime, literally.
And in that cop's case, he has to watch five men die, five of his fellow officers die and know that he could be killed.
They killed two in New York.
That Asian guy and the Latino guy, a radical Muslim, shot them in the head.
No one mentions that he's a radical Muslim.
Shot them in the head.
Remember that guy said I'm going to make pigs fly today?
Raphael Cruz, what's his name?
I should have those names memorized.
That's not a good look, McKinnon.
It's right here.
Let me see.
I think one of them was Chen.
It's almost weird to guess.
There we go.
Yeah, Rafael Ramos, 40 years old, and Wen Jian Liu, 32 years old.
You know what they did with Wing Jiao Lu?
What's it?
Wing?
Wen Jiao Lu.
Let's memorize those names.
W-E-N-H.
J-I-A-N-L-I-U.
Okay, and the other guy is Ramos.
Rafael Ramos.
Raphael.
I'm never going to forget those names again.
That's not a good look.
You know what they did with Wen Jian Liu?
I think they took his sperm out of his bag.
Wow.
Yeah, and froze it and gave it to his wife, who impregnated herself, had it injected into her ovaries, and they made a baby.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
So his son was born like a year after he died.
That's heavy.
But yeah, this just sit and take it thing.
Sort of like with my talk where I got in trouble and they said, well, you shouldn't have, you know, had a, you reenacted the murder of a socialist Democrat.
Yes, that's true.
The humor of it was very obvious.
I was wearing almond-eyed glasses on the what's it called?
The poster for the show, for the talk, for the comedy show.
And yeah, I came out and I stabbed Ryan with a plastic sword in slow motion and he went, ooh!
We talked about the glasses and how they're kind of offensive and I took them off.
And then I was thinking, so that was one of the many crimes I did.
And I brandished a sword and violence, violence, violence.
This is in an era where Trump is being murdered on stage in New York City as they reenact that Shakespearean play.
We have rap videos where Snoop Dogg is shooting him in the head, right?
We have that other public enemy meets, remember that Chuck D band?
I got radicalized.
You got rad.
I think both me and Trump have our heads of rage.
Prophets of rage.
It's so 90s.
And so they can get away with all of this.
Punch a Nazi where Nazi is 50% of the population.
And, you know, she's holding Trump's decapitated head.
And, you know, you go to Fat Records, you go to No Effects Show or The Warped Tour, and they bring in an effigy of Trump.
And the band members come out and whack him with a baseball bat until his head goes flying off.
So that's okay.
But Gavin can't make a joke about a samurai assassination in 1960.
With a Japanese person, by the way.
Japanese person of color.
Frankly.
Yeah.
And I made sure that a Japanese person was present.
Isn't that a big deal with them?
Like, if you're going to do something Indian, there has to be an Indian there.
Yes.
If you're going to talk about a black issue, there has to be black people of color there to also lend their voice.
So everyone gets their voice.
Like that Etienne Sin song.
I'm that boop.
They have a black drummer.
Oh, yeah.
In only that video.
In no other video is there a black drummer.
This guy's a black guy, though.
Yeah.
Is he?
He's got a drop.
He's got a drop.
He's got a touch of the tar brush.
Is that racist to say?
Yes.
I didn't know that because I thought it was fun.
No.
Damn it.
I think a lot of people who grew up in certain areas don't know that they're saying racist things.
Like in Scotland, perfectly normal for a kid to have a Gollywog doll, which is a blackface doll.
Oh, yeah, huge lips.
I think you still get it at the corner store, at the toy store, at the candy store.
Just a thing for them.
And in Scotland, Asian food is called the chinky.
So they'd go, you fancy a chinky tonight.
Oh, that is extremely racist looking.
Wow.
That's, yep.
Yeah.
So maybe some Scottish kid would take that on the plane on a trip to, well, Jamaicans wouldn't care, but on a trip to, actually, the only people that would be really mad about that would be rich white people.
Absolutely.
So the worst place you could take that doll would be like the Upper East Side.
That's where you're going to see the most outrage or NYU.
But yeah, we were living in a police state.
But when you say that, you got to understand that the police are not the problem.
Like I always say, fuck the police boss.
And it's not even the first tier above them, like lieutenants and sergeants.
You got to go kind of high.
And then you get into these guys, these sheriffs that want to be politicians.
And if anyone dares embarrass them, they're instantly fired, disqualified, ruined for life because they did something wrong.
And cops, like, is there another job where everyone wants to fight you every day, all day?
You know how fucking stressful that must be?
Just walking down the street in some dangerous neighborhood, knowing that everyone you look at would love to just shoot you in the head.
Right.
And like probably more magnified with like correctional officers.
Like you have a nice day with your wife and kids and then you got to clock back into work and you're still in prison.
Like I know you're not behind the bars, but you still have the vibe of I'm in prison.
You know?
That's your working voice.
Anything breaks, if there's any kind of malfunction where the doors open, you're dead.
Holy kaminolis.
I talked to an old corrections officer when I was in Florida.
He goes, yeah, I don't do that job anymore.
That job's done.
You know, in my day, you could just beat the shit out of them.
Yeah.
And you could keep everything in check.
But now they got the upper hand.
Yeesh.
Yeah, it seems like it would be like hellacious to work there.
Well, it takes a certain type of dude.
Yeah.
Like a cop, you could say to a cop, hey, you got to stand here and guard my car all night long.
Now, if you and I were asked to do that, we'd fall asleep, first of all.
Yeah.
We'd be bored shitless after an hour.
I'd be buying snacks.
I'd leave.
I'd leave for a second.
It's 30 seconds.
Yeah.
What the hell?
No one's going to steal the car in 30 seconds.
I would drive it somewhere and go get a motel and then hope I can be back like that CNN guy one hour before they show up.
Right, right.
But a cop would just stand there all night.
He might, you know, look at his phone a couple times, but they're just, it's just after 20 years of guarding stuff, you're just more stoic.
You should hear the shit they talk about.
Like they're arresting a perp and she bites through his hand.
Like breaks the skin.
No charges, nothing.
No, You chose this job.
You knew it'd be tough.
Like, remember at Night of Freedom, where that guy, I think his name's Robert Campbell, he beat up that old Jewish guy because he thought he was a Nazi.
He started beating up the cops, not beating up, obviously, but fighting the cops.
And he put one of the cops in a headlock.
And I said, Ooh, that's going to be a doozy.
And they go, no, not really.
They just say, that's rough housing.
You chose a job where there's a lot of rough housing, so you got rough housed.
That's bananas.
Although, if you spit in a cop's face, they're going to treat it a lot differently than if you spat in a person's face.
Sure, sure, sure.
They're going to ramp that up to some sort of serious assault.
I'm just not sure that his name was Robert Campbell.
I think that was somebody else that was problematic.
Okay.
But yeah.
Well, let's dig it up because we don't have some poor guy named Robert Campbell harassed.
Not that people do that.
I think we're running out of shit to talk about.
I thought I had a lot more to say.
We're getting sponsors in now.
We've got some big plans coming.
We've got the lawsuit we're working on.
I'm boring you.
Oh, I've been listening to Treasure Island with my boys, my boy, my youngest boy.
That's kind of rough with six-year-olds because like 10-year-olds and 12-year-olds, they have phones and they make dates and then they're just gone.
Like they go play basketball or they go with their friends to get girls are getting tea now for some reason.
But the little one, you know, play dates are something that you really got to organize.
And usually people go away for the weekend when they have a little kid.
So this poor little guy is just sitting there.
I'm playing with him.
So we make a whole Lego thing.
We play with magnetic sand.
We listen to a book on Amazon stories.
And I look at my watch.
It says 10 a.m.
Alrighty.
We got another 10 hours of this.
I'll tickle you.
We'll play hide and seek.
I'll chase you.
What time is it now?
It's noon.
Okay.
Alrighty.
48 and 6 is a tough combo when it comes to keeping each other amused.
But anyway, he does these Amazon stories and he likes, kids like seeing the same thing again and again.
So he likes hearing the same thing again and again.
And I think it's really healthy.
He's not staring at a screen.
So when he's listening to basically radio plays, then his imagination is conjuring up all these different things.
So that's healthy.
His imagination.
So I like it.
Although I can't stand the stories anymore.
I'm going to start having to wear headphones and listening to other shows.
Oh, which reminds me, I was listening to Anthony Cumia's show the other day.
I don't know what episode it is.
I mean, I can find it here.
It was the funniest thing I've heard in a long ass time.
What was he talking about?
I think it's TAX 759.
But he was talking about, he goes, I don't know how much longer I can come into the city.
I can't take it anymore.
Because you got to know, as people who go to New York City every day, it has been getting worse every week since de Blasio came in.
And if you go to Philly, you go, oh, there was like a Camp David thing where the politicians sat down with the homeless and the homeless were incredible negotiators and they managed to get the city.
Philly has been handed over to the homeless.
They just dance on the streets.
They set up like radios and they have parties and they piss and shit and dance and make out.
And it's just like, it's sort of like life before there was jail where they just, I went to the, there's a, one of the first penitentiaries in Philly and we went there and they described what jail used to be and just used to be a big room.
So there'd be prostitutes getting raped and just people puking and drunks sleeping and people fighting.
It was just like the bad people stadium.
And then they started dividing it into, you know, individual cells.
But Philly is that big room.
It sucks.
I had to step over a passed out guy to get on the tour bus with my family.
And when we were done the tour, he was still there.
It was dark out.
He had his hand down the front of his pants and a big thing, a takeout container of food.
Did you find the guy's name?
Yeah, it's David Campbell.
David Campbell.
By the way, David Campbell is a victim.
He's an Antifa guy who's looking at 15 years in prison for beating up someone he assumed was a Nazi.
He's a victim of this stupid Nazi myth, too.
They've weaponized the stupidity and weakness of other people.
And the insecurity of rich kids who want substance in their lives because their dads are usually rich boomers often grew up poor.
So they know their dad fought every day and was a tough kid on the streets of Queens.
And now they live in a fancy suburban neighborhood.
And they feel bad that they're so rich and they've never been in a fight.
So they go, I want to get in a fight.
Like you saw with the New York City Nine, you saw the Antifa fighting, the way he was sort of giddy and jumping up and down like a little kid.
We're doing it.
We're doing it.
He had no adrenaline control.
He was like, his knees were shaking.
He was like, this is it.
Oh my God, guys, we're doing it.
We're finally getting beaten up.
Yeah, and it's like the left's morality is pretty, we agree with it.
You know, be nice to trans and gays and people of color and stuff.
But the way they go about it or the way that they accuse people of being racist is wrong.
So they try to like monopolize altruism and be like, these things are banana.
Can you teach a class in confusion?
No.
People got it.
These Antifa are desperate for substance and they've been brainwashed into thinking that there's these Nazis.
And, you know, if there were people that were about to commit genocide and kill all trans people, yeah, you should punch them in the face.
Pol Pot should have been punched in the face.
Stalin should have been punched in the face.
The guy in your hat there, Shea Guevara, yeah, he used to just shoot gays for fun in the head with a handgun.
He was a virulent racist who assassinated about 3,000 people.
He should have been shot.
He should have been taken out.
But the ones you're getting, all these guys in MAGA hats, these Catholic school kids, that's not Pol Pot, dude.
Pol Pot's very rare.
Like we were talking about this the other day about how many, who's committed genocide?
And you think there's like Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot, blah, blah, blah.
There's like eight guys in the history of human civilization.
So we're talking about, I don't know how many humans there's been.
What do you think?
20 billion have lived and died?
In total?
Yeah.
Humans to every business.
I bet there's been 20 billion people.
That's my guess.
107 billion.
107 billion?
Yeah.
There are currently 7 billion people alive today, and the Population Reference Bureau estimates that about 107 billion people have ever lived.
That means we are nowhere near close to seven more than alive than dead.
In fact, there are 15 dead people for every one person living.
Okay, so out of all those people, you got nine people who commit genocide.
It's not really a thing.
So stop going to rallies with a bike lock and opening up some poor MAGA kid's head because you think he's going to be the next bull pot.
It's possibly a little extreme, don't you think?
I don't know the numbers on 12 in 100 billion, but pretty low odds.
Pretty unlikely you're getting the right guy.
Anyway, so Anthony was talking and he goes, it's getting so disgusting.
I'm in Penn Station and I'm walking and I can't get away from this shit smell.
It just reeks of shit.
And then I caught myself out loud to myself saying, I can't get away from this shit smell.
And then he realizes I'm one of the crazies.
Like he goes, you know how there's regulars?
There's a lady leaning on the garbage can, and then there's the guy with the sign with his toes, his black toes, filthy toes pushing out of the bottom of his shirt.
It's a white guy, but his toes are.
It's a white guy, yeah.
There's all those regulars.
There's a guy with the mustache who's bald and has writing on his face.
And then Anthony goes, I just joined these people.
I'm the newest lunatic.
Because he goes, and then he also later caught himself saying, I can't stand.
There's fucking lunatics everywhere.
But he was saying that out loud to himself.
He goes, I'm the new crazy guy.
I'm the anti-lunatic lunatic.
Yeah, as soon as you utter something to the world and you're alone in the city, yeah, you feel it too.
You're like, shouldn't have maybe kept that to myself.
One time I cried in the middle of Times Square because I was thinking about my friend that died and I listened to a sad song and I was like, what am I doing?
I'm crying in public.
And this is a place I always go to.
This is in Penn Station.
That's gay.
Yeah.
The cop like recognized me.
He's like, hey, that's Choir Baby Boy over there.
That's a good one.
At the end of his little set, Anthony goes, can't beat him, join him.
No, but I'm listening to these.
So I finally convinced him.
I go, let's stop listening to the same seven terrible, unfunny jokes.
Is there a harder curse?
Is there a worse thing in the world than having to be an entertainer for little kids?
Like singing a song about the letter B, the letter.
I would rather be gay.
And I'm not trying to disparage homosexuals.
I'm not gay.
So that would be weird for me.
What you mean is you'd rather do something that you are just not in.
If I was gay, I'd say I'd rather make out with a chick.
God.
I think it might be a place where unbelievably unfunny people go when they want to do comedy.
I'm doing a joke for a kid.
What are you saying?
Oh, God, it makes the hair in the back of my neck.
Not hard to make kids laugh.
Yeah, you just need poo.
Twist your face up.
You can't do poo on Alexa, but you just have someone just being silly and then the other guy going, what are you talking about?
That's it.
Anyway, so I convinced him to get Treasure Island, the book on tape, which is a cool thing, you know.
You go to Audible, it's $14.
This is a free ad.
Audible, pick me up.
And it's only $14 a month.
And you can just get any book you want on tape.
And if it's a real iconic one like Treasure Island, there'll be actors and shit doing it with like seagulls and cannons and stuff.
And you could just, when you're cleaning the kitchen or something, you can just put that on.
So you add up all your kitchen time and you could read like War in Peace or something.
What do you think of that?
I think that's a great idea.
I haven't tried a book on tape yet.
It's cool.
I'm reading a physical book right now and I fucking love it.
I really do.
And you know what sucks too?
It makes me want to drink less because when I read drunk, I don't remember what the hell I read.
Yeah, I'm still reading that giant Dempsey book and last night I had a few whiskeys and I was like, I'm not retaining any of this.
No.
It sucks because you want to read it, but it's fun the first couple drinks.
I'm at this point now in the book where he's making a million dollars a fight.
This is in 1920.
Wow.
What's that equivalent today?
$100 million?
Anyway, sorry, I'm taking a long time to say this, but I realized pirates are Irish.
And I'm not just talking about Ireland, but they were poor.
And yes, all the brave soldiers were English.
The English had money.
You could afford to have nobility back then.
Sorry to interrupt.
So a million dollars in 1920 would equal to 12 million now.
The same purchasing power of 12 million in 2018.
Oh, I thought that would be way more.
I'm really shitty with guesses today.
It's pretty big.
Times 12?
Yeah.
All right.
So, yeah, if you listen to pirates, and I'm not joking, I'm thinking they were mostly Irish.
And they have that Irish.
Well, surely there was like the Muslim pirates, the barbers or whatever, who would steal our Christian woman, but I'm talking about the more modern version.
The ones that would be hanged.
No, not hung.
It's hanged if it's a person.
They were Irish.
And you think about the accent.
Topper demiron.
I'm a pirate.
This is an Irish accent.
You see it?
Do you see what I'm saying?
Yeah.
It's an Irish accent.
Aye.
And they love drinking.
They love their own rum.
Thanks for the input.
All right.
I had a few more things I wanted to cover today.
Uh-oh.
Did I just delete something?
I think there were pirates from all over the place, by the way.
Holy shit.
What?
Oh, okay.
It's back.
Nice.
So, yeah, let's wrap it up.
This could have been a funnier podcast.
I'm not too thrilled with this one.
What about you?
Notice we're not drinking alcohol.
I liked it.
Maybe it is just as good.
I just feel better about the ones where we drink because I feel good because I'm drinking.
Sure.
Well, I think we did justice to the topics at hand.
I think you did.
I think the laughs were a little sparse, but it's not always funny, this life of ours.
No, no, it was a laughy one.
Plus, our friend just got arrested by the FBI.
Yeah, and we talked about dead cops.
Like, where were the jokes supposed to be, folks?
Give us a fucking break.
Yeah, Rafael Ramos and Wen Jianliu.
We still got to find out.
I'm not going to hang up the phone until you find out how many people were at the Osama bin Laden thing and how many were at Roger Stone's thing.
Anyone who thinks that this is genuinely about a threat to America and the FBI needed that many SWAT teams, anyone who thinks that the CNN was there in time, anyone who thinks that the NYC9 are a roving hate grant gang picking on random people that they disagree with.
If you believe that, I don't believe you.
I don't believe that you genuinely believe that.
I think that you like the way that it's bad for Trump and it makes you feel better about yourself, but I don't think you honestly believe that.
You're a flat earther.
You're a Satanist.
You're someone who's chosen a certain belief system because it suits you.
It's like an outfit.
You're wearing an outfit.
It's like when hipsters would wear a car heart and stuff.
They don't really need a car heart.
They don't need car heart overalls.
They're not doing any woodwork.
They got the lumberjack beard and the plaid shirt.
I do it too.
You should see the way I've been dressing these days with my puffy vest.
I look like a contractor in Vermont.
Yeah.
I don't know how to fix shit.
I'm posing.
It's like my buddy Tommy said, the electrician, he goes, I bet when you, because I used to have a place upstate, and he goes, I bet when you moved up here, you got all excited because you thought, this is a whole new fucking wardrobe I can wear.
And I was like, that's exactly true, sir.
I got my whole like Red Wing boots and Carhartt overalls for doing minor repairs around the house.
I'm totally and utterly guilty of that.
Can't you just look up how many people were there?
Yeah, they don't say it because I think SEAL Team 6 indicates that there are six people in it.
But I don't think that that's the case.
How could that be?
I mean, they killed 22 people.
They took them down?
Yeah.
But, I mean, I've...
How many people?
Okay, yeah, so stealth Black Hawk helicopters take off from Afghani land carrying a group of- That sounds fun.
I know.
Is Willie Wonka the main cleric there?
No, it's just a bunch of jackets.
No.
Afghaniland is like a terrorist owl, but it's made of chocolate.
The bullets are M ⁇ Ms. It's Afghaniland.
The RPGs taste like RPGs.
You know, like in the ride that's like a bunch of planes that go up and down, like the Dumbo ride?
Well, we know what happened.
It's like Dessert Island instead of Desert Island.
Desert Island.
So yeah, 25 Navy SEALs.
25.
And then how many did Bin Laden?
I confuse the two now because they're such a threat.
How many FBI SWAT were there?
27, I think.
It was the last count.
So let's just say the same.
Two, you know, and the FBI SWAT, that's not easy to get into.
It takes, you got to be in the FBI for a long ass time before you make it into SWAT.
It's like a whole other academy.
So whether there's 27 or 29 ninjas is pretty irrelevant.
Yeah.
Especially with all the gear on and everything.
29 SEAL Team 6 guys are not much scarier than 27.
I think they have like five of them are irrelevant.
They're such a force, right?
Where was Roger's henchman?
He doesn't have henchmen.
Oh, shit.
They scared the shit out of his fucking dogs.
That's pretty funny.
And he's a big dog guy.
Like bumper stickers on the car.
I love my little fucking chihuahua or whatever.
So, I mean, isn't it, how can you not see it?
And then they just, like, CNN that whole morning was so excited about their awesome journalism and how this is it.
We've got him on the Russian collusion.
And you go, are you blind?
Like, didn't you see all those SWAT team guys going to an old man's house?
Didn't you see your own, your fellow member of the press lie and say it's five o'clock?
Do you really think cops are out there?
I saw a Black Lives Matter sign on a $2 million home in Connecticut this weekend.
No black person was within a 20-mile radius.
And that sign means the best you could say it means is cops are killing too many unarmed black children.
Please stop.
These kids matter.
Now, I don't think that's true, but I understand that argument.
So if you are going to make that argument, it should be in Baltimore, in the south side of Chicago.
It should be in Detroit.
In Connecticut?
Who are you saying it to?
The local cops there?
What are they?
They're not killing anyone.
I mean, anyway.
Yeah, that's true.
We're living in peak clown world, folks.
And the next podcast is going to be funnier.
I'll keep you up to date on what's happening with Roger.
I got the inside scoop.
And anyone who thinks, you know, it is what it, you know, my daughter the other day, she said, did you know that PETA kills 70,000 dogs a year?
And I just dropped to my knees.
Thank God.
And I went, thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Nice.
Just because you're called people for the ethical treatment of animals doesn't mean that it's people for the ethical treatment of animals.
Just because you hear that the guy who made the Muhammad video went to jail doesn't mean he deserves to go to jail.
Just because you heard that Roger Stone lied and there's all kinds of evidence about collusion.
Even if the person goes to jail, it doesn't mean they were guilty.
Half the time they were taking a plea because so many people were out to get them.
So please, folks, let's bring color back and let's please bring some curiosity back.
Look it up and check the source too.
The SPLC ain't no source.
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