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Aug. 22, 2018 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
36:38
Ep 174 | America has class | Get Off My Lawn
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Time Text
Welcome back to Get Off My Land, you know.
Look, I'm a transparent man.
You can see through me.
I'm partly dead.
It's like on that movie Back to the Future, you know, where he's looking at the Polaroid and he's slowly vanishing away.
He got Babylon closing in on him, you know.
Mino Fi why you vex me so.
Blood clot.
Blood clot is the worst word in Jamaica and it refers to female menstruation.
I don't consider it a big deal.
It's like the swear words in Quebec.
Tabernac from the tabernacle.
If you say tabernac to a French-Canadian old lady, her ears will burn off.
Or call us.
I mean, you can't say any of these words, which is funny moving to New York because you see, like, the home of the holy tabernacle chalice.
And you go, geez, guys, chill.
Uh-oh, I'm hearing a sound.
Oh, that's the AC thing.
Let's have a look at that guy because that's not a Jamaican dude at all.
That's a kid from the projects.
Have you got video of him?
Show the video.
That's M.R. That's actually an old video of M.R. When he was just a rapper.
Now he's full-on Jamaican guy.
Doesn't multiculturalism enrich us all?
Isn't it wonderful?
The kids learning all the new different languages and stuff?
Like Blood Clat?
No, find the video that that song's from.
Where he's spitting on the mic.
Although we've lost the enthusiasm.
We've lost the momentum now.
What do we got on the show today?
Oh, I want to talk to Robert Spencer.
He's just put out another book.
Not Richard Spencer, Robert Spencer.
God, that poor guy.
This past year, he's having all his cousins call him and stuff, people he hasn't spoken to for years, or his old neighbor.
Hey, man, I hear you're a Nazi now?
Albert?
Not the same as Itchard.
I go through the same thing in court where people go, hey, what?
I heard the judge was grabbing you and smashing your head against a podium?
No, dude, that's a gavel.
Totally different situation.
The judge never touched me.
You're thinking of a wood hammer.
Did you find it?
Did you look?
Do you care?
There he is.
Neck tattoos.
He looks like a weird little dog.
Guys, I'ma say your free word boss.
Y'all catch me in Port More City.
Anyway, like for no million women.
Rise up, you think pussy, if I have a twin, cartel, they'll teach me a listening class.
I think it's funny when a white boy say, "Bombo class." What?
Let me say, "Bombo class." I suck you mad.
If you comment on my video, it's bad.
Don't you tell me biggily bungle, biggily bungle in the curtain.
And then we dry, kill me, junkle, nigga, be junkie, nini.
It's pretty good.
A ganja man, I'm a mishapusha bono lighter.
Bono co-ket, them thing, man, a fighter.
When they come from, I'm a real top striker.
Go ask it like, I'm a mishapusha bono lighter.
Oh, good.
I'm gonna get the subtitles.
It's don't go pork mo a side.
Don't stop a tellin'driver me, say, if they kill de mother, me say, if they kill de mother, me say, if they kill de mother.
Didn't even no get shot at them, brains get flatt.
Wake up, baby, man, the butt man, them.
Shut up, man, they like fruity business.
Like, he won't be in shot at the machine.
Oh, me not like fruity business.
Do-go-daga, do-go-daga.
She's even got the homophobia, right?
Do-go-daga, do-go-daga, do-go-daga, do-go-daga.
All right, now you're just cheating.
Now you're just making sounds.
Uh, I bet that if you went to Jamaica, he'd be super popular.
They like that kind of stuff.
They like a gimmick.
Like, if you were a dance hall guy and you had no eyes, like they got shot out or something, and you were called, like, no-eye-man.
You'd be huge.
I remember the last time I went there, there was this black guy who had glasses on, and his nickname was Glasses.
Well, go on, I'm Glasses, you know.
Hi, Glasses.
Uh, he was also Santa.
We had Christmas there, and he showed up as Santa.
He had a beard made of, uh, cotton balls.
His gloves were white surgical gloves, and he had one boot on because they only had one pair of Santa boots, and he wanted one of the other elves to also have boots.
So he said, where are one of my boots, you know?
So he had one boot on, surgical gloves, the cotton balls were falling apart, and he just took his glasses off and then put on a Santa hat.
He was like, ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa, you know.
Thanks for ruining Santa for my kids.
Uh, they have nightmares to this day about the cotton ball face with his surgical gloves.
I saw, I put a picture of it actually online years ago.
My daughter was about four, and I've noticed people have it as their avatar.
My daughter were having Santa Claus ruined for her by a guy named Glasses.
Glasses.
That's like calling me gorgeous, smart guy.
Like, you don't be so literal.
Um, all right, let's, we're gonna talk to old Richie Spence.
No, I just did it right now.
Robert Spence.
I actually always ask him that now.
I go, so you want an all-white state?
The, the, how about just some states?
Like Oregon, maybe you could choose seven.
That's what Professor Griff wants for blacks.
Just like seven states.
And he's like, no, I just hate Muslims.
I'm not racist.
Uh, all right.
So, yeah, we're gonna talk to Richard, uh, Fudge.
Robert Spencer.
We're gonna talk to Robert Spencer.
Don't cut to the crowd so quick.
It looks like subliminal messaging.
We're going to make you think of a crowd of dudes.
Yes.
but i also wanted to spend some time talking about um the longer I live in America, the more I realize that I'm not that American.
And one thing that I'm having a lot of trouble getting used to is there is a class system here in America.
Canada is hoser central.
So we played golf as kids.
We went downhill skiing as kids.
We had French people.
All were cheap losers.
Like you would play golf in Chuck's cutoff jeans and no shirt.
And it was 20 bucks.
Here, you have to join a country club and it's 60 grand.
Or skiing.
That was all hosers and jeans.
We didn't have gloves.
Like farmers' kids would ski because the farmers, half the time their dad owned a ski hill.
It was not a rich guy thing.
And then finally, of course, French people, where I'm from, they are poor, sad losers.
I mean, they're insecure.
Every time we'd play French school in soccer, we'd kick their ass because they were just scared of English muffins, they called us.
But we called them Pepsis because Pepsi was cheaper than Coke.
So all French people would drink Pepsi.
And then you come here in America and go, ooh, la-di-da, French.
I'm like, you mean the toothless hillbillies that we call Pepsis?
Yeah, them.
They're fancy, huh?
No.
You feel bad for French people in Canada.
You throw them a buck.
But before we do all that, I really want to talk to old Robert.
Robert, are you there?
I am here.
How are you, sir?
I am great.
How are you, sir?
I am wonderful.
You know, speaking of jihad watch, this is actually what I got.
A suicide bomber tried to kill me, and as his hand was flying by, I grabbed it, threw the hand away, and I got my own jihad watch.
What do you think?
Beautiful.
I'm going to start a line.
That would be so hilarious if you had a line of watches called Jihad Watch.
Various Muhammad cartoons like Mickey Mouse showing the time.
Great idea.
Muhammad with his hands.
Yeah, just reprint the Danish cartoons.
Beautiful.
I can't believe you have another book out.
How old was Islamophobia?
How old?
Well, let's see.
It'll be a year old in November.
So you're just pumping out one a year?
Yeah, that's basically it.
So you're addicted to cocaine?
If I was to turn your waste bin of your desk upside down, it would just be ting, tiddle, ling, ting, ting of various vials.
Yes.
No, in reality, this is a book I've wanted to write for years.
And it is the only book of its kind that traces the entirety of the jihad threat from the beginning, from Muhammad to today, brings it all together.
The first book of its kind to tell the story of the bloody jihad in India and relate it to the rest of the world, the jihad against Europe, the jihad against Israel, the jihad against the whole thing.
This is the first time the whole story has been told.
And it says here it goes back 1400 years.
Yes, that's right.
And Gavin, this is the thing.
Since the beginning of Islam, wherever Muslims and non-Muslims have been together, Muslims have started conflict.
The lesson of the book is this.
Why should we think it's going to be any different in our case?
Yeah.
Well, it seems like when they get over 10% of the population, you get into 90% of the trouble.
Yeah, yeah.
And this is what we're heading toward here.
As a matter of fact, the last chapter of the book is called The West Loses the Will to Live.
Well, you definitely see that in Britain, where they're more worried about being seen as racist than they are about children being raped.
Yeah, absolutely.
Thousands of girls, their lives are destroyed, the whole future of their country.
But they let them go and they don't do a thing about it because to do anything about it would be Islamophobia.
And the thing is, Gavin, they were right.
They were right.
Their careers would have been destroyed, the authorities who prosecuted those rape gangs.
Because Islamophobia really is much worse than jihad terror and much more of a concern as far as British authorities and authorities in many other places as well are concerned.
Well, I was recently in London doing a talk with Tommy Robinson.
And I met these Muslims who come to these things and I forget their names, but there's a big tall guy who brought a mouth guard for boxing.
And they do this thing where they say, you don't know the Quran.
They have that weird British accent that they do now where they sound almost Jamaican.
He's like, you don't know the Quran, my friend.
You have never read it.
It promotes peace and they do those same old tropes you've heard a million times.
But I think this might be the case.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
The first half of the Quran was very peaceful because he was more of a Jesus type prophet that was a mellow dude.
Then he became a warlord and the second half contradicts the previous half because it's written basically almost by a different guy.
Yeah, I think the Jesus comparison is a bit generous.
Yeah, exactly.
But the fact is, yes, the first half, chronologically, of the Quran is more peaceful than the other.
It's full of warnings of hellfire, threats of hellfire, but essentially it's summed up in chapter 109 that says, I do not say to the unbelievers, I do not worship what you worship and you do not worship what I worship.
And basically, let's leave each other alone.
Obviously, the exhortations to warfare that come in the second part, the Medinan surahs, contradict that.
So it's interesting that in a sense, Islam, from its foundation, was going backwards, going from peaceful and accepting to less intolerant and more primitive.
And you sort of, and that's the opposite of Christianity.
You know, we have the Old Testament that's all fire and brimstone, and then we have a 2.0 where we updated it and got much nicer.
And that's the one we follow now is the nice guy.
But it's also the same culturally.
Like you look at Iran, and it was a nice, peaceful place that was relatively secular.
And now it's a primitive hellhole.
So it seems like Muslims from day one of the Quran have been going backwards.
Well, yeah, there have always been these revival movements.
What we have in the Islamic Republic of Iran is a revivalist movement that is designed to sweep out the un-Islamic government that preceded and to bring the society back to the true observance of Islam.
There have been movements like that throughout Islamic history, as I show in the book.
And this is one of the problems: that Islam encourages fanaticism because the Quran teaches that if you follow Islam, you will prosper in this world.
That means if you're not prospering in this world, it's because you're not Islamic enough.
And so every time you have a society that's not prospering, then it's blamed on not being Islamic enough, and you get more and more and more fanatical.
Okay, well, here I'm going to throw you for a loop because when I see this pattern of people going back in time, it's quite unique.
Most people get more advanced, more culturally advanced, more technologically advanced.
So then I start to think, well, maybe it's genetic.
And then you go, wait a minute, didn't Muhammad say it was okay to marry your first cousin?
Could not this regression in progress and culture be an outward result of inbreeding?
There's an extraordinary amount of inbreeding in Islamic cultures and an extraordinary high rate of birth defects as a result because it's very tribal in general.
You go to Iraq and every little neighborhood is its own tribe and they hate everybody else.
And that causes a lot of trouble.
But ultimately, I think that it's a bigger problem than that.
And it doesn't stem ultimately from that because it's in the texts and teachings of the religion itself to make war against unbelievers and to carry out that belligerence at all times and places at all opportunities.
And this is what I show in the book, that everywhere this ideology goes, it creates conflict.
And it has not been reformed.
There was no period of tolerance.
There was no period of peace.
There was no time when it was reconsidered or rejected.
There were only some small periods where Muslims in the aggregate were too weak to pursue it.
But as soon as they regained strength, the jihad resumed.
So we're not sure if it's the book or the genes, but they're both pretty bad.
I vote for the book.
I think that the genes would make it ultimately, if you carry that out to the logical conclusion, that argument, you've got people who are essentially too weak, too adult, too mentally disabled to carry through anything.
And you see, unfortunately, there are jihadis who are very intelligent and very resolute.
Yeah.
Do you think Britain is doomed?
Can Britain ever turn the tides?
I don't think it's ever over.
I think that Britain is certainly going to go through a very, very difficult period.
And this government, this whole governmental system may well fall, and there could be civil war.
But I can't predict the outcome of that.
I think there may be a Sharia state in Britain, but it might not comprise the whole of the territory.
Well, I think you're right that they're on the verge of something very serious.
I'm much more optimistic about America.
I think we have a great ally in the fight against Islam, and that is the far left.
They are such terrible allies to Islam with their gay LGBT Islam and women wearing rainbow burqas.
And there's that bold TV show.
It's called about a magazine publisher or something.
And they have a gay Muslim activist photographer on it.
Like, I just want to leave the left and Islam together and let them eat each other.
It is so absurd, isn't it?
I was speaking at the University of Buffalo last year.
And really, I say I was speaking, I'm using the term loosely.
I was yelled at for an hour and a half at the University of Buffalo by all these self-righteous leftists.
And there was one kid in the audience, and he held up a sign at one point, actually all through, saying queers against Islamophobia.
And so I had, I was ready for heckling.
I didn't expect that it would just be non-stop for an hour and a half, drowning me out.
But I was ready with a big manual of Islamic law that's certified by Al-Azhar, the great authority in Cairo, the place where Obama spoke in 2009.
And I read from that manual, which is certified by all these high Islamic authorities, about how homosexuals should be put to death.
And the whole place started booing.
And this guy in a kaftan and a Kufi, he runs up to the Queers Against Islamophobia guy and gives him a big hug and says, this is my best friend.
Oh, okay.
And so I held the book up.
Do you think I wrote this?
Do you think it's not going to come down on you just because you don't like me for telling you about it?
It's just beyond absurd.
It's like when Kissinger heard about the Iran-Iraq war and he said, can't they both lose?
I want the far left and Islam to be locked in a room together and then we'll just come in a week later and sweep out the ashes.
It's coming.
We'll see it.
All right, Robert, well, thanks for coming on the show.
I really appreciate it.
Hey, thank you, Gavin.
Always a pleasure.
Let's have you back soon.
How's it going, eh?
My name is Gavin McInnes, and I was originally born in Britain, but I spent a majority of my life in basically two Canadian countries, Ontario and Quebec.
They're very different.
One's French, one's English.
So I kind of like to separate them, but they're both Canadian.
And I couldn't help but notice when I moved here to the States that America has class.
And I don't mean that in a good way.
Britain has a class system.
The Indians, by the way, in India, they took that and just blew it off the Richter scale.
So now they have the untouchables at the bottom and then like people who poo gold at the top with various stages in between.
They really went bananas with their interpretation of the British colonialist caste system, the class system.
But I always thought that we here in North America, we're over that crap and it's Britain that has that whole, hello, hi, dotting, on one end and then like, what are you doing?
Don't macabre.
And that's their class system, right?
They only got a middle class with Thatcher.
But up until very recently, it was the rich and the poor, two different accents, this class, that class.
And it defines everything they do.
Oh, I'm working class.
I want to be working class.
And Canada doesn't have that, even though it's mostly British.
Now, I think it's because the ones who get sick of the British caste, the British hierarchy, end up coming to Canada and go, let's start anew.
Everyone's the same.
Don't worry about it.
Don't muck about guys.
And so that's how I grew up.
I grew up in a brand new country, got their flag in 1960, their national anthem in 1980.
Brand new country, totally devoid of class.
Meaning, the prime minister spoke like your plumber.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey, my name's Stephen Harper, and we're going to try to get rid of a lot of these taxes and everything going around.
There was no erudite fancy Canadians.
There's no fancy Canadian last name.
They don't say, oh, he comes from a long line.
There is no long line.
In Canada, if you have a home that's 100 years old, then you have a heritage home.
My home in New York is 100 years old.
No one notices.
No one cares.
So the categories that I've noticed that America is almost as bad as Britain when it comes to this obsession with class is golf skiing, French people, and black people.
Now, I was going golfing with my friend, a Mexican man, a cousin of mine, actually, and he takes me to a fancy resort in Chicago.
And I go there, and they give me these, I didn't have golf shoes, I borrowed my cousins, and then I show there, and I take off my Chucks, and they go, allow me to clean these, sir, while you're gone.
They take my sneakers and clean them like they polished the little top part of the Chuck Taylor.
And then when I come back, they give me my spotless Chuck Taylors and say, I'll clean your golf shoes now.
Okay.
I'm in a bathroom, by the way, that's the size of like three master bedrooms, but made of marble and tile.
It's the most beautiful bathroom.
It looks like Caligula.
And I'm hanging out there with my cousin.
I go, dude, this is not golfing to me.
How much is it here?
And he goes, well, this club's $60,000.
Each game's about $1,000.
And of course, you have to pay the caddy a couple hundred.
Maybe tip him $100,000.
And I go, what?
Every golf game pans out to be like $1,000?
In Canada, we play in our jeans.
Do you have that picture of the ad for jeans?
Oh, yeah, no, this is a redneck American thing where they do it as a joke.
But this is golfing for me as a kid.
You have your jeans on.
They come by sometimes.
They make you wear a shirt.
But we would just play golf in our jorts.
And we drink and get hammered and pee in the bushes.
I used to buy a box of balls.
And then if it went in the woods, I went, oh, well, that one's gone.
I never looked for balls.
Screw that.
I played redneck golf, and it was called hoser golf.
And that's what everyone played.
Golf's not a fancy thing in Canada.
In Canada, you spend 200 bucks for a season pass, and it gives you all these bonuses to maybe 20 golf courses in the area.
Then when you go to that golf course, you show them your card, give them 30 bucks.
$60,000 to join a country club?
Are you out of your cotton picking mind?
No way.
So golf in America, or at least up here in New York, is for the elite.
And I just, it seems incongruous to me.
My background is golf is like stickball, baseball, football.
It's just a silly sport you do to get drunk.
And if you go out on any given course on any given Sunday, the plumbers will be there with the entrepreneurs, the CEOs.
They're all the same.
Where's that ad for golfing in shorts?
Yeah.
Oh, that's skiing.
Okay, that brings me to the next one.
Skiing.
When I was a kid, all the farmers' kids, they obviously lived near Giant Mountains because it's Canada.
So all the Hicks, the Hillbillies, skied.
And they'd wear their ski coats to school for some reason.
They lived in Carp, Ontario.
We called them Carpies.
And they wore jeans when they skied.
And we all did.
We all smuggled six packs in and bottles of booze.
And we would have jeans on, a cigarette, a ski jacket.
You had an actual ski jacket.
No hat, no goggles.
No one had, I go to these ski hills in America, which are unbelievably expensive.
We went to this place.
It's got a Japanese sounding name.
I forget what it was, but we stayed there for three days with the family.
My final bill was like five grand.
I go, what?
We used to just go up on hills, 20 bucks, throw them 20 bucks.
You go there, you have no ski equipment.
You just have your boots and your and your skis.
Sometimes you didn't even have poles.
And you just have jeans and a cigarette going down the hill.
We used to play this game called Chinese Downhill, where you would race as fast as you can and just body check your friends into trees.
Or even when we were waiting in line, you'd smash your friend's skis with your pole, trying to turn it into Swiss cheese.
Just bang, bang, bang, smashing his skis again and again.
And we got the idea from Chinese Downhill from the movie from 1984 called Hot Dog.
It was a skiing movie that was also very hosiery.
So maybe it was the same in America back in the 80s as it was in Canada.
There's the poster for Hot Dog.
But check out this scene.
This is the Chinese Downhill.
And this was my youth with skiing.
It was not a fancy thing.
It was where you tried to make your friend wipe out.
And they're off.
This is someone just recording it on their TV.
So it's a little wobbly.
We didn't quite roll that deep.
What's that?
60 people.
Look, you bail.
I remember you'd see your buddy, too, right over there, and you'd just get close to him and then just whip to the right and just send him flying.
Oh, there was another trick we'd do where you jab your pole down in the snow right in front of his ski boot so it would stop his boot instantly and he would just launch without his skis and go flying down the hill.
Then you just wave, bye, buddy.
That was an art form doing that ski pole move because it stopped you too.
It was like sticking a stick in someone's bicycle spokes.
So this is not fancy, right?
It gets a little heavier in a sec, I hope.
Or you just shove the guy.
And you got used to it after a while, so while you're skiing, you'd sort of go, this is seeming a little too quiet out here.
Someone is about to take me down.
There we go.
Like the whole sort of thing with the fur and the elites and the...
Maybe that's what I'm discovering.
Because white people go, I want to go to a place that is black-free.
And they end up at a ski hill and then they're all like, oh, I can be a fancy aristocrat now.
There's none of these colored people around.
But in Canada, there's never any.
Oh, geez, that's a bummer.
Yeah, you just died.
I don't know.
Why is this in a comedy film?
This is how my dad became a paraplegic.
Oh, that's funny.
Aha, you shattered your spine.
We never did anything like that.
It wasn't as mountainous, too.
That would be a perfectly normal thing to do to your friend, by the way.
Perfectly reasonable.
Chinese downhill.
Yeah, and it was such a pain because you have to walk all the way back up to where you got body checked.
And we did not have this fancy gear.
It was all just jeans.
All right.
Now, here's a perfect example.
When I first came to New York, there we go.
Friends don't let friends ski in jeans.
Wrong.
If you're wearing, you go to ski hills now, 100% of them are wearing helmets.
Little kids, moms, dads snowboarding, which is weird.
I don't think men my age should snowboard.
It's not a good look, guys.
But what are you going to bonk your head?
What are you all relatives of Sonny Bono and Liam Neeson's wife?
I mean, there's been two people that died.
I got in an argument with this, about someone, I got an argument with someone about this.
And they said, actually, something like 90% of skiing fatalities happen because there's no helmet.
Okay, that's likely true.
What are the skiing fatalities?
One a year out of the billions of times people are going down the hill?
God help.
When I was a kid, helmets were for the severely handicapped.
Now everyone on a bicycle and everyone skiing has to have their stupid helmet.
All right, so when I first moved to New York, I speak French.
In Quebec, you have to speak French.
French is trash.
French is like that trashy language.
It's like speaking, I don't know, hillbilly or New Orleans Creole or whatever.
It's not fancy.
So I noticed when I would go to, you know, a bakery and say, could I get a croissant, please?
And they go, ooh, la di-da.
So now I say croissant just to not, you know, draw attention to myself.
Or another Canadian friend was at a French restaurant.
He started speaking French to the waiter.
And someone at a nearby table goes, why don't you relax with your French and shove it up your ass?
And he went, okay.
In Canada, the French are the poor.
When I was growing up, there was Coke and Pepsi.
Pepsi was five cents cheaper than Coke and all the French people drank Pepsi because they couldn't afford Coke.
You know, over the long grand scheme of things, you end up saving money.
So we called them Pepsis or peppers.
Pepsis are white trash.
I like them, especially the ladies.
But the idea that French means classy is just so foreign to me.
When I see French people and I talk to French people, I'm proud of myself that I can talk to the poor and be civil with them and not think I'm better than them.
I'm like, I'm cool.
I'm Dr. Doolittle.
I can talk to the animals.
But here was a show we used to watch called Elvis Graton.
And here he is on the beach saying to his wife, what do you have on cassette?
And she's like, what about the time the Expos played the Cubs?
And he goes, yeah, yeah, put that on.
And she goes, I don't know.
I think I'd rather listen to the game the Expos played with the Padres.
And he goes, ooh, that is a good one.
So I've just translated it for you.
But this is French to a Canadian.
Put the cassette of the Cubs of Chicago against our expo.
Cubs of Chicago.
I like the Cubs of San Diego.
Oh, yes.
The Cubs of San Diego.
And he goes, oh, yeah, that's a better game.
So she puts that on the cassette, presses play, and they listen to that time last year.
The Expos played the Padres.
They're listening to a year-old baseball game on vacation.
Is that classy?
Is that fancy?
Or there's another popular French-Canadian show that the Pepsis, the Peppers like.
By the way, I'm sitting here saying the N-word basically, Pepsis, Peppers.
You say Pepsi late at night in Montreal to a French guy, it's going down.
My friend Adam once, he was lost in the French part of town on a Saint-Laurent or Saint-Cathrine Le.
And he goes, hey guys, ooe la rue, Saint-Dominique.
And he had terrible French.
He was from Ontario.
And they go, ooe, la rue.
And they start making fun of him and telling him bad directions.
And he just goes, ugh, so sick of peppers.
They totaled him.
Anyway, Laptit V is an Archie Bunker-like sitcom about the typical French-Canadian family.
Look how fancy these people are and how nervous we should be around them.
He's not meant to look like Catholic boy.
I don't know what you think.
And then, Réjean, who doesn't arrive, he's a nervous system.
He's trying a new job today.
Ah, yes?
He's trying a new job.
He's trying to get a new job.
Oh!
I hope he doesn't have any problems.
He's trying to get a big deal.
You know, I've got a big deal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, it's a guy who's intelligent, Réjean.
He's trying to get a new job.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you're a big deal.
Oh, my God!
You know, the big deal, with the guy.
Oh, he's trying to get a new job.
Okay, it's enough to get a new job.
You're going to get a new job.
By the way, that accent is literally 400 years old.
Hey, monsieur.
Hey, monsieur.
Tu es arrivé toi, Thérèse.
Tu tombais dans sa chambre.
That's how they say two, by the way.
You know, like vousette and two e?
They say troi per tu.
And if you find some 90-year-old in the middle of nowhere in France, they will have that accent.
It's an ancient accent.
It's almost like hearing someone say, tupper de mernin.
No, like, you know, I was going to do a fancy English accent, but like, imagine during the plague, the guy who wants thruppence for a bun, sir, sir, more cruel, please.
I'm dying of the plague.
That's too fancy.
I'm not doing it.
I'm not very good at my 16th century pauper English, but that's what they sound like.
Again, class-free.
So it's funny how, as an immigrant, you get to know a culture like America, which is just literally one hour south of Montreal.
And over the years, I've been here since 1999, you realize, yeah, we are different.
We have a totally different history.
The whole idea that we're all the same is a lie.
Okay, finally, black people.
Now, I've been criticized for being too callous when it comes to the African-American experience and poo-pooing the whole taboo of various words you can and can't say, and I should be more sensitive about slavery.
I'm not because I'm from Ontario and Quebec.
In Ontario, black people, there's so few of them that they just assimilated.
So I grew up with some black guys and they played hockey and they listened to Rush.
They didn't, this was before rap.
This is the 70s and early 80s.
And Montreal is even less blackety black.
In Montreal, in Quebec, the only blacks we knew, and there was a lot of them actually, but the only blacks we knew were Haitians because Quebec is very strict about language and you're not coming to Quebec unless you speak perfect French.
So they only really allowed Haitians to come in as far as black people goes.
And if you're rich enough to get out of a shithole like Haiti, you're rich.
So all the black people when I was growing up in the 80s in Montreal were nerds.
So when I would hear, oh, there's me, a bunch of black people at this party, I'd go, oh, great.
They're probably not even going to have booze.
It's just going to be a bunch of guys wearing blazers and scarves.
They're like boarding school kids, you know?
They're all squares.
Our rich are somehow less square for some reason.
But yeah, they're really religious, really rich, and really boring.
So this is what black people are in Montreal.
This is how I grew up seeing black people.
It is really dull nerds.
There they are.
What's this?
The Mathieu de Costa?
Mathieu is a common name.
Hi, you guys want a party?
It's not exactly like a black church, is it?
Hi, this guy would like to shake your hand.
Now you could just drop the needle anywhere on this record and it'll be a snooze fest.
No, it doesn't matter where you put it.
No, it doesn't matter where you put it.
Anyway, in America, French people are fancy pants.
Black people are a big deal, and we have to be very careful what we say.
Golf is for the elite, and skiing is a very fancy aristocratic sport.
Where I'm from, all three of those things, golf skiing in French, is white trash, and black people are super square Christian nerds.
So I'm sorry that I'm so insensitive to your culture, but I'm only just now starting to figure it out.
I don't know if you know what au gratin means, but it is a fancy French dish that involves thinly sliced potatoes and I think breadcrumbs or something.
It's very, very expensive and I don't recommend you get it.
Now, there's a much fancier version of au gratin where they sprinkle leaves and lettuce on it and it's called gratuité.
And it is phenomenally, sometimes it's like 20% of the bill, this gratuit.
And what a lot of people are doing, waitresses, they're just sticking it on the bill and pretending you ordered the gratuity.
Like you could even finish one.
They're about this big.
So this woman, this tenacious citizen journalist, called her out and caught the woman sneaking that expensive French dish on her menu.
Take it away, La Quinta.
Doesn't that mean the bill?
Yeah, that's automatic with the movie.
Sorry, go back.
I have to hear it again.
I've watched this 140 times.
This is kind of like a snobby classes thing to do, but I still enjoy it.
We didn't order gratuity.
Go back, go back.
Yeah, that's automatic with the gratuity.
Gratuity is my tip.
Yeah, so you guys behind the tips.
Oh, so you get to eat the gratuity?
Where is it?
If you're going to charge me for it, at least bring it to the table.
She's back there, that waitress just stuffing her face with oh, gratuities all night.
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