When you’re “cool” in high school it’s like being king of the world. When you’re that same guy well into adulthood, it’s downright sad. This episode uses my friend Artie as the perfect example of when cool jumps the shark. Time to grow up, Arthur.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| You know those guys who refuse to grow up? | |
| It's, uh, getting worse, really. | |
| I think the average video game player is something like 34 years old. | |
| And I see a lot of guys, especially black guys, by the way, with superhero shirts and superhero tattoos, like Wolverine is big with black dudes. | |
| But, I mean, you go to Comic-Con and it's, there's, it's not even predominantly kids at Comic-Con. | |
| And you're looking at it, I feel like just saying to them, you realize that Spider-Man was invented for not just seven-year-olds, but seven-year-old nerds who were getting picked on and wanted to fantasize about a world where they could just beat up the bully. | |
| And as they got shoved around, the sort of release for them was, these guys don't even know who they're messing with. | |
| I could punch my fist right through their faces, make their moms cry forever. | |
| But I won't. | |
| I'll just sit here and take it. | |
| Because I'm secretly Spider-Man. | |
| And it's like an escape for a sad guy. | |
| A sad little kid. | |
| You're a grown man. | |
| And you're arguing about Spider-Man. | |
| You know all the different spellings. | |
| The one without the dash and with the dash. | |
| I know all this, of course, because I have kids. | |
| That's why I'm familiar with superheroes. | |
| And by the way, There's times when watching a superhero movie with kids is cool. | |
| Like Thor Ragnarok or whatever it's called. | |
| That was fun. | |
| It wasn't as fun as going to a bar and joking around with guys my age. | |
| That's my ideal, for the record. | |
| Actually, sex with my wife is probably better than that, but they're in the same zone. | |
| But as far as having to see a movie with a kid goes, yeah, that's pretty good. | |
| I mean, the worst case scenario is that Peter Cottontail movie. | |
| My wife was buying tickets yesterday and I just said I can't physically go. | |
| I can't watch CGI bunnies fight a guy. | |
| I'd rather, honestly, totally honestly, kiss a homeless man with his weird pee breath for 40 seconds? | |
| Maybe not quite 40. | |
| 35 seconds? | |
| Then go see that Peter Cottontail movie. | |
| Which I'm told was quite good. | |
| But I wanted to talk about my friend of mine, Artie. | |
| Not Artie Lang. | |
| Totally not related. | |
| It would be so stupid to compare them just because their name's Artie. | |
| Let's focus on two Arties today. | |
| That would be a funny magazine. | |
| Mike Magazine. | |
| Where we just compare different Mikes. | |
| This Mike has a basketball training camp. | |
| This Mike's dying of AIDS. | |
| And uh... | |
| It's an interesting contrast in mics. | |
| If I had a successful magazine called Mike Magazine, mics would, it would be their ambition to get on the cover. | |
| I'd make, I need to see their birth certificate, by the way. | |
| No changing your name to Mike. | |
| But Michael Jackson would have made it to the cover. | |
| Michael Jordan, obviously. | |
| Just, just big mics in the scene. | |
| The top mics. | |
| And sometimes you'd have a fun mic that no one knows about, like a helicopter mechanic. | |
| Just a fun, it'd be like People Magazine. | |
| There'd be a lot of celebrity mics. | |
| But occasionally, you know, you just have a regular mic in Mic Magazine. | |
| It's just a magazine buy-in for mics, and the staff could only be mics. | |
| In that instance, I wouldn't insist you had a birth certificate. | |
| You could just change your name to Mike, or be known as Mike. | |
| Anyway, what the hell am I talking about? | |
| So this guy already is an interesting case in this wrinkled teenager. | |
| I like to call them the perpetual adolescents, and I find it profoundly sad. | |
| I think what a lot of these guys do is it's some sort of PTSD from childhood. | |
| I know Artie was abandoned by his dad at a young age, and he likes feeling like a dad. | |
| He hangs out with teenagers, basically. | |
| He's in his 30s, I believe, and his friends That he hangs out with are teenagers and early 20s. | |
| He reminds me of this phase that guys my age see happen. | |
| It's probably different for you, but when I was 13, 1983, big year. | |
| It's that year I talked about on another podcast where women go from being gross Being crappy men? | |
| Which is what feminists are today, by the way. | |
| This Antifa chicks that want to fight you. | |
| You're just a crappy man. | |
| I was reading a great article about it last night where they said this whole idea of feminism meaning women have to be badass and they have to do what men do. | |
| You're saying that what men do is the best. | |
| So we need more female directors. | |
| We need more females in action movies. | |
| We need more females doing male roles. | |
| In other words, male roles are the best. | |
| No one's saying we need more men giving birth. | |
| We need more men staying at home. | |
| We need more men cooking. | |
| Although, I guess they do kind of say that. | |
| We need more men doing arts and crafts. | |
| That's not really the push of feminism. | |
| The push of feminism is we need men doing men's, women doing men's stuff because men are the best. | |
| Sorry about this cough. | |
| I've already done like two interviews in a show. | |
| Before this, so one only has a certain amount of voice chi in his soul a day. | |
| And I've already spent mine. | |
| But anyway, so you turn 12, and you start getting kind of horny, but not really. | |
| You don't know what it is. | |
| You think a boner's the thing, but you don't really understand what's happening in your body. | |
| And then, around the beginning of adolescence, woman become gods. | |
| And you can't believe you ever played Star Wars. | |
| Even though it was a year ago, you just go, why was I holding a plastic figurine of Mark Hamill? | |
| And then, boom, it's off to the arcade. | |
| You've got the Def Leppard concert shirt. | |
| My parents wouldn't let me wear that, so I hid it in the bushes. | |
| I'd leave wearing a polo and then put on the Def Leppard concert shirt, go to the arcade, try to talk to girls, buy older girls cigarettes with their money, of course. | |
| play video games, get into trouble, make jumps on the bike, you're a man. | |
| You're beginning manhood. | |
| And on the way home you'd see a guy like Artie, kind of tall, like he looks sort of like the guy from Goonies, what's his name, Chunk? | |
| The ugly freak from Goonies. | |
| He just seems, like, oversized. | |
| And he'd be still, he'd be 13, but he'd be with 12-year-olds playing Star Wars still. | |
| And you go, it was just so sad. | |
| And you'd look in his eyes, and you'd have, like, your Nikes with the tongues pulled up. | |
| Sparks, they were called. | |
| And your skin-tight jeans needed a coat hanger to do up the zipper. | |
| And your feathered back hair. | |
| And then you'd look at him and he still had kind of short hair and a Star Wars shirt and you just go, you fucking loser. | |
| Actually, your brain wasn't even formed enough to know loser. | |
| You just sort of went, what is wrong with that? | |
| It's like when you hear the Koreans eat dogs. | |
| You just go, what? | |
| Why are you? | |
| That's not what you do. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| And that's how I feel about these these guys. | |
| I mean, today, You go to the park and there's guys playing Pokemon. | |
| I actually chased a car. | |
| I told that in another podcast where this guy was near my house and he was driving real slow and then stopping and I was like, what are you doing skulking around? | |
| So I got in my car and I followed him and then I pulled him over and then he, we had a car chase. | |
| And then I went to the police station cause we ended up, I lost him and I ended up, I realized I'm right in front of the police station. | |
| So I went in there and I told them the story and they go, yeah, he's playing Pokemon dummy. | |
| Oh yeah, shit. | |
| He's old enough to drive. | |
| 16. | |
| Why are you collecting Pokemon, guys? | |
| And there's no shame in it either, this video game stuff. | |
| They're quite proud. | |
| They're gamers. | |
| It's their identity. | |
| I'm a gamer is as stupid as I'm a pot smoker is as stupid as I'm a gay. | |
| It's just a thing you do. | |
| It's not your personality. | |
| Anyway. | |
| So Artie is this guy. | |
| He dropped out of high school. | |
| He's kind of a mechanic. | |
| I mean, he has a motorbike. | |
| I don't even think he has his own car. | |
| And he's the cool guy amongst the little kids. | |
| Now, little kids to me are, you know, teenagers. | |
| And these kids can't drink, so they hang out at pool halls. | |
| Sometimes there's Asians who go to pool halls. | |
| You notice that? | |
| You go to a pool hall, and it's all Asian adolescents, and you realize, oh, you guys can't break down alcohol. | |
| That's why you play pool for fun. | |
| I mean, what else are you going to do? | |
| Go to a diner? | |
| And Artie does go to a diner all the time. | |
| He hangs out there. | |
| He knows the owner. | |
| It's Mr. Cool. | |
| He has this sort of like tough guy Italian thing. | |
| It's common in New York where they sort of pretend to be wise guys. | |
| And yeah, my brother knows him. | |
| I know some people. | |
| I know some people. | |
| It's like being a wigger, really. | |
| But you're a fake mobster. | |
| These guys are very popular in L.A. | |
| Like, if you have that wise guy, sort of tough guy thing in New York, it's just boring. | |
| I mean, you're the guy who, you're the plumber. | |
| You're just a union guy from South Brooklyn. | |
| I know probably 400 of you guys. | |
| But then you go to LA and it's like, hey, how's it going? | |
| I'm from the Bronx. | |
| Oh my God, I want one of you for my friend collection. | |
| I have a blind guy, an old black guy, and I need a Bronx tough guy. | |
| And then it starts getting into their head. | |
| Like that guy, what's his name, Coco Ortiz, who tweeted at me. | |
| Yo, I understand you were talking about Ralphie Mabe. | |
| We're gonna have a problem. | |
| You don't tweet threats, Tony Soprano. | |
| You just go kill the guy. | |
| But, you know, these New Yorkers in L.A. | |
| become a stereotype of themselves, and then they get brainwashed by their own fake acting. | |
| And I think this is what happened with my buddy. | |
| Who doesn't hang out anymore or drink. | |
| Never drinks. | |
| He just hangs out with the guy. | |
| Hey, what's going on? | |
| And they love him. | |
| They love that he knows about cars. | |
| They want him to fix his car. | |
| He can do detailing. | |
| And he lives in the burbs. | |
| Without kids. | |
| He actually is renting a room from a suburban family. | |
| Who knows him and sometimes he'll go in there. | |
| Yo, what's going on? | |
| I just, yeah. | |
| He didn't grow up with a father, you see. | |
| And this is behind the shooting in Florida. | |
| This is in two ways, actually. | |
| Actually, I think there's two ways you could blame feminism and female over-empowerment on the shooting. | |
| Obviously, there's a million factors, but these two haven't been explored. | |
| And I talked about them on Get Off My Lawn, the hit show. | |
| Teachers have gone from being nice ladies who recognize that boys will be boys, you know, the diminutive woman with the horn-rimmed beehive glasses, who's like, oh, those boys! | |
| Hello! | |
| My daughter had a teacher like that at PS 84. | |
| Hello, I understand you're going to bring some of your treasures, she would say, because Sophie was going to bring Indian stuff from the tribe. | |
| But then they get on this feminist claptrap, and now these women, and the unions have a lot to do with this. | |
| The unions have brainwashed these women into thinking that they are major political figures, and it's their job to save the children from capitalism and the patriarchy, and teach them that women are Mao. | |
| And they will provide us with the great leap forward. | |
| So they brainwash these kids in thinking America sucks and they're really bossy. | |
| Have you ever noticed this? | |
| You're at a bar or something and there's some teacher there and she's telling you what to do and telling you to move your chair and stuff. | |
| Bossing you around on the street. | |
| I just had one bossing me around the other day. | |
| What the hell was she? | |
| Oh yeah! | |
| Chadwick Moore and I were on the quiet car. | |
| Which, by the way, doesn't prohibit conversation. | |
| It prohibits loud conversation. | |
| And she comes over and tells us to keep it down. | |
| This is the quiet car. | |
| We're making fun of her, calling her a grassroots organizer. | |
| But again, this hubris they have, where they want to pick fights with strangers and stuff. | |
| I've talked about that a million times. | |
| Anyway, that's the archetypal teacher, fueled by the biggest unions in the world. | |
| They put way more money than the NRA. | |
| The teachers' unions donate way more money to both sides, and I believe all lobbies combined. | |
| So those teachers, and I'm sorry to repeat what I said on the show, but they brainwash the kids, say, you suck, you suck, you suck, America sucks, patriarchy sucks, this country's stolen, so that pisses them off, and eventually they snap, they go postal. | |
| But I also think we have a culture that glorifies single moms, and we have these one-sided childhoods where the kids learn all the feminine stuff, which is important to know, all boys should have a feminine side, but there's no backbone to it, there's no male side. | |
| So the shooter ends up confused. | |
| I believe it's 24 to 26 of the mass shooters have grown up with single moms. | |
| So there's two ways feminism can blame the shooters. | |
| And that's one way that my buddy Artie screwed up. | |
| Because he hangs around these young kids and he wants to be their dad. | |
| And then he likes living in the burbs of that family because that's the family he never had. | |
| He was raised by his grandmother for a while. | |
| I think her name's Grandma Nurbaum or something, which I realize you're Jewish, dude. | |
| He's a Jewish guy who's taken on this persona of the tough Italian. | |
| And he said that once. | |
| He goes, he all but admitted that the guy he is now is sort of a character and it's all, you know, everything he wished he could be. | |
| And sex is a big thing with the perpetual adolescents I don't get. | |
| Like, I don't get when I was 18, I couldn't wait to get out of the house because I wanted to have chicks. | |
| I wanted to be able to do it without my parents hearing me or without needing their permission. | |
| And your libido in your teens, I mean, you could smash coconuts with that thing. | |
| And the idea that you just go, yeah, whatever, I guess I'll just masturbate to porn, and I'll use the Sub-Zero fridge to get fresh raspberries whenever I want, and I won't worry about chicks. | |
| Maybe it's because we had to masturbate to, you know, an old frozen penthouse we found in a snowbank, but I just could not wait to get out of the house. | |
| I believe I left days after my 18th birthday, because that was the limit my parents put on it, and I respected that. | |
| Me and my buddy Steve, poof, gone, 18. | |
| These guys that say they're 25, 26, and the same thing goes with Artie. | |
| I mean, he can bring home girls, but he doesn't hang out with women. | |
| He hangs out with little girls, and I don't think he screws them. | |
| One time he showed up. | |
| It was so profoundly embarrassing. | |
| He showed up at this diner, because I visit him pretty regularly, and he had two dates. | |
| Oh, cool, you got two dates? | |
| Yeah, they're twins. | |
| Oh, like the Double Mint Gum commercial? | |
| Dude, I know you're not having sex with them. | |
| No one has sex with twins. | |
| It's a dumb, Budweiser commercial, ridiculous fantasy that is tantamount, as Sarah Silverman pointed out, to incest. | |
| No, not tantamount. | |
| It is incest! | |
| If you have sex with two twins, you're having sex with a sister and a sister. | |
| That's like having a threesome with a brother and a sister and you. | |
| That's gross! | |
| What do they do, make out? | |
| Yeah, go tell some identical twins you want to watch them make out. | |
| Watch them barf. | |
| So all the youngsters were super impressed to see Artie show up with these two twins, and I was deeply ashamed. | |
| And I go over there, and I had a few drinks one of the days, and I go, I gotta talk to you, dude. | |
| Something is not right with your head. | |
| It's like he's frozen in amber. | |
| And he goes, let's talk over here. | |
| And he takes me to the bathroom. | |
| It's got a big bathroom. | |
| This thing is like a delicatessen. | |
| Like, it's huge. | |
| So he takes me into the bathroom to discuss this. | |
| And he goes, what's up? | |
| And I go, what is going on with you? | |
| I called you. | |
| I said, let's go out. | |
| I know girls I can hook you up with. | |
| And he goes, I got more girls I know what to do with here. | |
| And I said, you're a big fish in a small pond. | |
| And he says, I don't know what you mean. | |
| I've got more friends than you. | |
| Yeah, I'm married. | |
| I'm not in the market for friends. | |
| And I remember reading a study that said happiness isn't based on being better than everyone. | |
| It's based on being better than your immediate circle. | |
| Now, obviously, it's not exclusively based on that. | |
| But a lot of the way we gauge ourselves, obviously, is our immediate surroundings. | |
| So one way you can rig the system is to make your immediate surroundings suck. | |
| And now you're the king of the hill. | |
| You're this cool guy. | |
| But surely you realize that other guys are having serious... I mean, he dated this single mom for about a year, but that was clearly just him trying to get mommy back. | |
| And he hangs around with his cousin. | |
| What's his name? | |
| Charles Cole or something. | |
| But that's just him trying to be a daddy. | |
| And that's what he is to these kids. | |
| And I don't think he screws these girls. | |
| I think he just has them around as accessories. | |
| And, you know, it wouldn't be the place he stays. | |
| They'd be mad if he was bringing chicks home all the time. | |
| You know, it's not really connected to the house, but they'd still be aware of it. | |
| And I try to explain all this to him. | |
| I go, you're rigging the system. | |
| You're controlling the social equation to make yourself look bigger than you are. | |
| And he gets all pissed off and he hits, there's a jukebox there that he hits, to change the song actually. | |
| No, I think it came on when he hit it. | |
| And he goes back into the diner and goes back to, you know, Gino, And you know what's going to happen to him? | |
| Eventually, the whole process is going to jump the shark and these kids are going to grow up and move out. | |
| Like there's this one kid, Richard, who lives in the house where he stays and that kid is getting older. | |
| He's going to fall in love and eventually play. | |
| Like this happened to the Star Wars guy! | |
| All those kids he was playing Star Wars with eventually ended up coming to the arcade, and I'd see them. | |
| And they were like our little, you know, I'd see them in the stage we were at two years ago. | |
| Oh, yeah, you play Defender now, and you still don't talk to girls. | |
| I smoke cigarettes with girls. | |
| I've moved on. | |
| I make out. | |
| I've been to first base, dude. | |
| I've touched a third of a tit. | |
| And then that guy ended up getting into Dungeons and Dragons, not being part of it. | |
| You know, you gotta join the group. | |
| You don't have to be a conformist, but you have to participate. | |
| And sometimes being an anti-conformist is part of participating. | |
| Being a punk or a rockabilly or a cowboy at school, fashion means I'm participating. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| That's why I don't like seeing these kids in college with just sweatpants on and one shoe they found and a shower shoe that they're without the other foot and some t-shirt that says Dan Donnelly's Ottawa Ford. | |
| That frustrates me because I go, look, you're at the peak of your aesthetic career. | |
| Dress up, you know, get into it. | |
| So eventually I just sort of gave up on him. | |
| And I checked in on him once in a while, but you know, I got a family and I don't party anymore. | |
| And if I am going to party, I'm not going to go that way out to Long Island where he is at. | |
| I'm going to, I'd rather hang out with someone I barely know in the burbs and just shoot the shit about parenting. | |
| That's another problem too, by the way, when you have kids, you talk to other people who don't have kids and their, their lives seem so petty. | |
| If they're your age, obviously, if you're talking to a 24 year old, it's kind of fun. | |
| Cause you're like, all right, this is what you got to do with your life. | |
| Man, she'd get a ring on it and get a career, blah blah blah. | |
| But when you talk to guys your age who are single, it's just embarrassing. | |
| As my friend Tommy goes, and he's a bonafide Italian, he goes, it's like you're talking to them and you're just thinking, get your shit together. | |
| So, I just think Artie is, a personification of the problem with Western society, American society in general, and it is the infantilization of the male. | |
| And I think it comes from this feminist bullshit where feminism created a big industry where it wasn't just financial, but it was an identity politics thing where it was an entire generation's identity. | |
| So once the problem was cured and women could vote and women could have a career and women could leave the kitchen, they had to keep going. | |
| Because you can't – it's like communism. | |
| Once there's a government department for that, it's not going to recede. | |
| It's not going to say, all right, well, we built the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. | |
| We're done. | |
| Let's shut down this department. | |
| No, they have to keep building, keep making stuff, keep making themselves seem important. | |
| So they just started saying, all right, well, now that we have equality, we want you to be unequal. | |
| And now we're going to pretend we need rapists. | |
| Well, there's no rape. | |
| Well, obviously there's rape, but it's not an epidemic. | |
| Like, you want it to be like one in four in college. | |
| They go, well, now sex you regret later is rape. | |
| Now sex when you're drunk is rape. | |
| That's how we get our numbers up. | |
| So they've created this disgusting machine that is a dangerous machine. | |
| And, you know, it could have contributed to the Cruz shooting. | |
| Um, but I definitely think it contributed to Artie's pathetic life. | |
| You know, he's living a fantasy life. | |
| So everything is relative, you know? | |
| Having a motorcycle, having tattoos, like I have my, I'm covered in tattoos. | |
| And when I was singing with bands, And I had a full back piece, have a full back piece. | |
| I got it from the Curtis Mantronic album. | |
| I sing the body electro. | |
| It's this big digital jellyfish eating Chunk I Shag and Fidel Castro and connects to my shoulders. | |
| Looks cool on stage when you're screaming out punk lyrics. | |
| At the water park at 47 or at the at the The pool near your house, the public pool that all the other dads are at, you look ridiculous. | |
| I am a circus freak at the pool. | |
| I'm going to start pretending that I have sensitive skin and just wear a t-shirt into the water, which used to be my pet peeve, still is, just to not show these ridiculous tattoos. | |
| That's the funny thing about tattoos. | |
| They have a shelf life, but they're on you forever. | |
| But Artie, there was a time when he was a god. | |
| In high school he was cool. | |
| He's like my friend Steve. | |
| But he gets older and older, and now I think of him and I just... I feel bad. | |
| And the way he dresses, too. | |
| He's got these, like, biker boots, these motorcycle boots, you know, with his jeans all faded and rolled up at the bottom, like, too much. | |
| He dresses like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones. | |
| And he's got a t-shirt on with a leather jacket with the collar up. | |
| You know, sometimes he puts the collar up. | |
| He's got this pompadour 50s thing. | |
| And I just think, in high school, you were a god. | |
| And now that you're 30-something, you're a loser, sir. | |
| You're a total and utter loser. | |
| And I am embarrassed that I ever thought he was cool. | |
| And I'm not really embarrassed for everyone who thinks he's cool, because I think the older people, people my age, like the patriarch, the guy who he rents a room from, I think that guy feels sorry for him and accepts that he has some sort of family PTSD. | |
| From not having a father and being raised by a mother and a grandmother. | |
| But just the fact that he has included in, it's sort of like North Korea. | |
| You know, when you see them crying and you see the tears in the cement, you go, wait a minute, do you believe this? | |
| Or like with the Southern Poverty Law Center, where they go, this is, call me a bigot or something. | |
| I go, I know Morris Dees is a huckster. | |
| Who just does this to make money. | |
| But you people down at the bottom who write these, are you in on the gag? | |
| Or are you a useful idiot? | |
| Or AJ+. | |
| You know Al Jazeera's new thing where they show quick videos? | |
| I get that that Qatar, Saudi, whatever kind of Middle Eastern, rich, super crazy family is. | |
| The guy's name who owns Al Jazeera is literally 30 names. | |
| Mahmoud, Mohammed, Mada, blah, blah, blah. | |
| I get that they want to sabotage American culture and make Muslims more acceptable and make Islam more acceptable because that's their religion and they ain't got billions, why not spend some money on propaganda? | |
| But the ones who do the videos, often Jewish by the way, who talk about how great Jihad is and how George Soros is awesome, um, are they in on it? | |
| And that's how I feel about Artie. | |
| Like he, does he know that he's a fool or has he brainwashed himself? | |
| Or Sean King? | |
| Like does Sean King Lie in bed at night and just go, I'm fucking white. | |
| This is the greatest hustle. | |
| I got away with it. | |
| Does that happen? | |
| I mean, yes, you kid. | |
| Every time I bring this up with people do they go, no, he kidded himself. | |
| He fooled himself. | |
| I go, yeah, I get that at 3 p.m. | |
| But what about that sort of magical phase just as you're falling asleep where you consider, you know, the unconsiderable? | |
| Am I gay? | |
| Has my whole life been a waste? | |
| Who am I? | |
| And then, if you're a white guy pretending to be black, you must be going, let's cut the shit, me. | |
| I'm a white person. | |
| That's why I keep my hair so short, because if I grew it out, it would look like Gavin McInnes'. | |
| If I ever, if there's ever a barber strike, the jig is up. | |
| If he were ever arrested, oh my god, what if he was arrested and he was in solitary for seven months and he grew out his long, gorgeous, totally straight brown hair? | |
| He'd have to just sort of use, he'd probably use his own feces to make it into dreads or something to hide it. | |
| But I feel this way about Artie. | |
| Like, he makes up these fake terms. | |
| You know how in Mean Girls she wants fetch to come out? | |
| Artie has these things where he goes, ayyyy! | |
| When he walks in the room. | |
| And he puts his thumb up all the time. | |
| He goes, yay! | |
| He says, sit on it. | |
| Instead of like, fuck off. | |
| Ayy, sit on it! | |
| He's got this family friendly thing. | |
| And here's, I've saved the most embarrassing part then. |