All Episodes
Previous Next
July 12, 2016 - GabCast Bellgab.com
01:13:18
12 July, 2016

12 July, 2016 ---------- This episode was hosted by BellGab.com users starrmtn001, ( Amy ), MV, and Mr. Fidget. Topics included starrmtn001's legs, the chances of extraterrestrial life visiting us, and a bunch of other crap that I can't recall at the moment.

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
I know I always say this at the top of the show, but this time I really mean it.
If you like e-cigs, you're interested in vapes, you'd like to get off of the old coffin nails, as my grandma used to call them, go to ufoship.com, click on chat up in the main menu there, okay?
Thank you.
This is the Gabcast, a podcast about bellgab.com.
Call us now.
573-837-4948.
That number again, 573-837-4948.
And now, here's the Gabcast.
All right.
That's Mr. Fidget you hear in the background there.
Hey, buddy.
Good afternoon, morning, evening, as the case may be.
As the case may be.
Is everybody saying that now?
As the case may be.
That's the hip new phrase everybody's using.
That's an art.
That's an artness.
He said that in my show.
He said at the beginning of the show.
Whatever the case may be.
I know, that's why I'm just making fun of you.
Yeah, I just thought I'd take a couple cheap jabs.
Also, Amy from Amy on the Radio.
Hi, Amy.
Hey, hey, guys.
She sounds good.
And everybody.
She sounds better than you, Mr. Fidget.
I don't know why.
What kind of equipment are you on?
No, I'm kidding.
He's pulling in on a phone.
He's on a phone.
Yeah.
And Star Mountain, hey, Sugar, how are you?
Oh, just fine, and good evening.
All right.
This is the Gabcast.
It's a podcast about Bellgab.com.
Mr. Fidget, I don't think you've ever hosted this show, have you?
No, I've never been an officious intermeddler.
See, this is why I like the new format.
Previously, you would have been hung up on calling the show.
Now you're hosting it.
Isn't there just an insanity to the way the universe is aligned at the moment?
I'm not sure that was supposed to happen.
If I hung up right now, it would be the best practical joke in the history of the world, but I'm going to hold on.
You know, I would actually end the show at that moment.
I would say, he got me, guys.
He got me.
So this is a podcast about bellgab.com.
I have to confess, I have really been rather disconnected from the forum recently, so I have no idea what's going on around there.
My wife and my daughters have been out of the country since June 26th, and I've just sort of, you know what, it was just like, wow, the house is quiet.
I like this.
This is nice.
And I just sort of disconnected from everything.
And I can assure you, actually, the forum causes me infinitely more stress than my three-year-old daughter or my 11-month-old daughter.
Isn't that irony?
Like a script running on a server out there somewhere in the internet causes me more stress than my daughter who spills things on me and ruins stuff and breaks things.
That's an interesting world I'm living in.
She'll find out and ramp it up and you'll be in real trouble.
Well, don't you go play in this recording for her.
Okay.
I'm going to have to edit this portion of the show.
It was info that could be used against me possibly.
So what do you guys want to talk about?
Oh, hell, I don't know.
I got nothing.
And you can hear Amy on the radio multiple nights per week, ladies and gentlemen.
I just hope that we did a good job selling the show.
I just wanted to put her out there.
Thanks.
Thanks.
It's so good, Amy.
What's going on around Belgab?
I mean, what's the first, like, all three of you, if I say the word bellgab to you right now, we'll start with you, Amy.
What's the first thing that comes to mind at the moment?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
Really?
My goodness.
This show is sounding better all the time.
I tell you what.
I don't get around.
I usually just kind of stay on my little corner of the forums and don't really have a lot of time to venture out.
Some people would tell you that that is a remarkably intelligent strategy to pursue.
You've potentially saved yourself mounds of stress.
You know, I don't know.
I haven't really considered myself a part of the Bellgab in crowd yet, I guess.
There's an in-crowd?
I think so.
Who would you say those people are?
Like, if you were to say to yourself who the Belgab in crowd is, who would you say those people are?
I would say anybody that's hosted this show, which I guess makes me part of the in-crowd now.
Because I will tell you that probably every just about every show that every gab cast that I've been on for the last, God, as long as I can remember, there has almost always been at least one person on the show whose username I had never even heard of on Bellgab, which is really cool.
I love it when that happens, you know, because it adds a completely unanticipated random wildcard element into the show.
It's nice not to get the same people.
Yeah, I guess it is.
And that's kind of what I want to do with my show.
I don't really want to have on the same people that everybody hears all the time on the talk radio circuit.
But lately, I've had a couple of people on.
I think I did okay with those, but new is always interesting.
So what do you guys talk about on your show?
What kind of stuff you talk about?
Or, I mean, is there like an answer to that question?
You just do whatever's interesting to you.
It's kind of a variety talk show.
Most of the listeners come from either Bellgab or the old Twitter group, DM Talk.
So most are former listeners of Midnight in the Desert.
But aside from that, we usually discuss things of science, skepticism, entertainment, just sort of a variety.
Sounds like the Dean Martin show of podcasts.
I don't know.
Are there, like, can you hear ice clinking in people's glasses as they drink their bourbon?
That's what I want to know.
I'm there if you can tell me for sure that I will hear that.
Well, I do recommend smoking jackets at the beginning of every show.
You know, a smoking jacket is something that I really wish would come back into the fore.
I don't think I know anybody who owns a smoking jacket.
And I would like to be able to tell people that I own a smoking jacket.
Beyond that, I would like them to see me in the smoking jacket.
I would like them to just come over to my house randomly and see me in a smoking jacket and think that is just how he lives.
I mean, that's how he lives.
Just stand through the door that way.
Zeebo can lend you one, see how it fits, see how you like it.
I mean, I'm sure you can buy a smoking jacket, but that's not something you could just walk into any physical establishment in 2016 and buy, I don't think.
No, I think the last time I saw what resembled a smoking jacket was at the Burlington Coat Factory.
And yeah, that's the last time I think I've actually seen a smoking jacket in a retail store.
Did it actually have a tag on it that said smoking jacket marked down 1999?
No, but it was blue and velveteen.
Oh, my goodness.
I don't know.
See, that's an unfortunate name for an article of clothing to receive: smoking jacket, because in this day and age, that has a lot of negative connotations to it.
Smoking is out.
Everybody frowns on smoking.
It's no longer considered something socially acceptable.
So if you're an article of clothing and you're a smoking jacket, holy hell is nobody going to buy you.
You're just not.
We're going to need Belgab smoking jackets.
Bellgab smoking jacket.
Oh my God.
You know what?
That is the product.
We have bandied about this idea of opening a Belgab store, and it just hasn't happened because nobody has really sent me.
any because I'm not, I cannot draw, I can't do anything.
Nobody has sent me any art to put on this stuff.
And I think a smoking jacket, that is our primary product right there.
That's our flagship product, the Belgab smoking jacket.
And it's got to have some sort of a competitive advantage over your regular smoking jacket.
It has a hole in the back so that you don't even have...
It's got like one of those flaps like Mickey Mouse used to have in the old cartoons.
You don't even have to take your pants off to poop.
You just flip it open and there it is.
Yes.
Built-in vaping.
The evacuation shoot.
The unique, not a smoking jacket, a vaping jacket.
Yes, that would be a more modern adaptation of the premise.
Brought to you by V2.
I don't know, but what images are conjured when you think of vaping jacket?
Really?
I mean, I vape, but, you know, I just.
It loses some of its mystique, doesn't it?
Like, when I think of smoking jacket, immediately it conjures up images of Hugh Hefner sitting in a velvet chair with a cigarette that's inside a cigarette holder.
I think of Vincent Price personally.
Oh, yeah, that's an even better.
Yes.
Yes, that's an even better association.
Yep.
Now that you say that, that's eradicated my, what's his name?
I haven't vaped, but if we can work this into a plug for the V2E cigarettes, so Amy, you're vaping, but are you doing the wherever you're doing?
The plug is not for V2.
The plug is for the link on the website.
It does no good just to say, hey, V2 is great.
You've got to go click the link on the website.
See it.
Oh, on bellgab.com.
There are mechanisms in place here.
Okay, all right.
Well, UFO ship or bellgab.com.
Those links are the same on both.
I was going to ask if Amy preferred the propylene or the glycol.
You know, I really don't know.
This is probably pretty bad.
She's like, you know, they put chemicals in it.
I smoke it.
I mean, stop looking at me, everybody.
If everybody could quit looking at me.
The secret is, no, the mixture is actually propylene glycol.
So it has both, you know, and so that was just a kind of a little joke, you know?
Yeah.
Nobody liked your joke, Mr. Fidget.
That joke is getting you nowhere.
Thanks.
Let's survey the audience.
Did anybody laugh?
No, nobody laughed at your joke, Mr. Fidget.
I tried.
I tried.
You know, I'm really glad over the years, Mr. Fidget, that you stuck around because you took so much crap from so many people.
Do you know how many people came to me and said, you've got to ban him?
He's going to be the downfall of Belgab.
You, you know how many people came to me and said that to me?
Yeah, I found it in WikiLeaks.
The NSA disclosed it was 257.
I would like to know what the NSA knows about Belgab.
I'd like to know what sort of information about Belgab's users gets routinely scraped by the NSA.
What kind of Belgab metadata has been used to stop terrorist operations and where?
I want to know these things.
Anyway, yeah, it's amazing the abuse you took, and I'm glad you stuck around.
That's my point.
Thank you.
And I wonder what happens on the PM fringe.
You know what I mean?
Because there's the whole what belt we see for Belgab, but then there would be the private message fringe.
I think a lot of people probably refrain from engaging in sensitive communications via PM on Bellgab because I think a lot of people probably assume that their messages are being looked at.
But I can assure you, in eight and a half years of running this thing, I have never looked at a private message ever.
Actually, there's no built-in mechanism even to do it.
I would have to take the database from the server and parse it out somehow to be able to view those.
And no thanks.
I have touched a woman's breast at some point in my life.
I'm not going to go do that.
Okay.
So thank you.
Heaven will.
Well, I would.
Hopes.
Some more often than others.
Tell us more.
If you want to be on the show tonight, we have a phone number you can call.
And that phone number is...
Tell us what to talk about.
Well, I mean, you guys volunteered to be on the show, so that implies some level of participatory input from the show.
Okay, all right.
Okay.
All right.
Let me.
Can I run with it for a minute?
Let me run with it for a minute, and then I'll bring it right back.
Okay.
So I'm Mr. Fidge.
I was a guest on Arts Show.
If you just listened to the Gabcast, you haven't heard me.
I was on in August of 97, and I was on three nights in a row.
It's actually four nights because Art took a night off in between the three nights, but that's a minutiae point of the fidget story.
But I got a bunch of letters and information from people, Art Bell listeners all around the country and the world.
And so I have some letters.
I'm just going to share one here.
Hi there.
I'm enclosing $10 for $200 fidgets as described in the Art Bell Show.
Now, did the author of that letter write it to you in that tone?
Was like, hey, what's going on?
How you doing?
I don't, I mean, well, no, I mean, I could adjust the tone of the narration of the letter.
But it is, I will tell you, this is a typed letter on an old-fashioned typewriter.
So you can feel the physical indentations where the metal hit the paper.
That's interesting.
It's real, real material, 1997 from Wayne in Petersboro, New Hampshire.
So he says, please be aware that there is a food and drug law that makes it illegal to make medical claims about any mechanical device.
I have no doubt to the authenticity of your claims made on the Art Bell Show, but that's not the point.
Exclamation point.
Talk to Wayne Green.
He's been on Arts Show.
It is possible you could take in as much as $22 million over the next six months.
You need to get a jump on the dinosaur bureaucracy.
Did you end up taking in the $22 million?
I fell far short of $22 million.
I wouldn't have expected that answer to that question.
Continue.
You've got to love Wayne's optimism, though.
It will take them...
Okay, so you need to get a jump on the dinosaur bureaucracy.
It will take them at least six months to build the case against you.
By that time, you should be able to hire the best lawyers.
It'll take the Justice Department six months to build a case against a guy who's clipping together bicycle chains.
Yeah, he said, but never make any public medical claims.
And then never, any, and medical claims are all in bold uppercase.
Listen to the program.
Listen, spelled L-E-S-E-N, but yeah, listen to the program.
I pronounce that Lisen, but okay.
Lisen, yes.
Lisen, I will.
I'll do that with a discerning ear.
Listen to arts programs that feature Wayne Green interviews.
Wayne is very knowledgeable on the subject.
I know that you have little desire to become the world's first fidget martyr.
Now, Wayne Green, Wayne Green, that's not the guy who said that was George Green who got kicked off the show and said that Ted Kennedy was hitting on his daughter at a party.
Am I right about that?
Does anybody know?
Over the head, I don't know.
Wow, I thought you guys were Art Bell listeners.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Go ahead.
What do I know?
I know Lauren Green, he's my hero.
I know Lauren Michaels.
Okay, go ahead.
Continue with the letter.
Well, that's the end of the letter.
Oh, I got two, though.
I got one more.
Well, what was the point of that?
I mean, you can't just go into the next letter.
You need to offer some level of commentary about what you just read.
The point is, the point is the lunacy of reality.
This letter, you know, it very well exemplifies how you're going to get stuck no matter what.
So if I got a friend who lost his thumb, and I do, and he recovered the use of his hand real well with a fidget, which he did.
Okay.
And it was a medical thing, the thumb being gone.
It was a medical inability he had once the thumb was gone, and then he was able to get back with the fidget.
But I can't really make a medical claim, but at the same time, it did something medically.
So this guy.
So did the fidget help the new thumb stump grow in, or did it just apply new additional dexterity to the remaining fingers?
As strange as it was, hey, I had the fidget.
I gave him the fidget.
He lost the thumb, and then he used the fidget to recover, and his physical therapist was amazed.
But I can't make medical claims.
That's not a medical claim, but it is okay to say, hey, I have a friend who used this, and he says it helped him immensely.
That's not a medical claim.
That's anecdotal.
Quitting smoking.
You know, mom quit smoking using a fidget.
You could go to that guy and say, did he really tell the truth when he said the fidget helped you?
And the guy would say, yes, he did.
And they would say, okay.
And that would be the end of that.
Everybody would go home.
The Justice Department would not fire up their six-month-long wheel of death at you.
Indeed, indeed.
And, you know, I just can't take legal advice from some guy who uses the word Lisen in a letter to me.
There certainly is something to that.
Well, he's just trying to protect me, you know.
Figured out I was a naive fidget maker.
I have.
By the way, I still need to send you money.
You know, can you believe I am a pile of garbage?
I have still not sent you money for the fidgets that you sent me.
Good news, Michael.
Here's through the.
Oh, I don't have to send the money.
No, it's going to be super fashionable to send me money.
So when you do it, you're going to get more public cred and good grace than ever.
I don't want any.
Is that a bold claim?
I just want to pay you.
It is.
It is.
But recent trends have shown me that, you know, this.
Yeah.
Well, I'm looking for the outrage.
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
Expand upon that.
Recent trends, what?
What's going on?
So I'm not in California anymore.
Let me guess, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, I was going to guess where you are.
Okay, go ahead.
Yeah, I'm up in Oregon.
I'm in my storage.
I'm trying to, you know, sort stuff out.
And that's why I have the letter from our belt because it was in my storage along with many, many other things.
You're in your storage right now.
No, no, no.
I'm in a non-disclosed location with a friend's domicile.
But I've been in one of these I live in my body kind of guys for a long time.
Onin said once that, you know, oh, you live in your skin, but I never said that.
It's just that, you know, we live where we put our body is where we live in theory, but actually the body is the whole thing.
And grew up most of the development of civilization like nomads, right?
And, you know, just moving around with the seasons and trying to find the right hunting spot or whatever.
When I was born, we had a car.
Yeah, that's true.
I guess that makes one of us.
When I was born, we didn't have a car.
But I did hitchhike, though, across the country on a suitcase when I was a kid.
So you left California, you've gone to Oregon, and in the course of doing so, you've hoped to better your life in some way.
You had said previously that you were homeless.
Is this still the case?
Well, you see, I'm not really willing to accept the degradation of the term homeless because I couldn't hold it.
I didn't degrade.
I didn't degrade the term.
I know I'm not accusing you of degrading me, but I'm saying degrading the term, not you.
No, you're not.
Well, I mean, if you were without home, that means homeless.
I mean, they might be a little bit more than that.
Listen to the semantic difference, which is.
Listen to Star Mountain with her euphemistic speak.
If I'm home full, I'm at home wherever I'm at.
And that's a position of empowerment.
I don't need to be in a position of lack because I don't have a home.
It's like reading George Orwell talking to Star Mountain.
Yeah, if you say you had somebody who had $100 million in the bank, okay?
Is he homeless?
He's going to be in whatever home he wants, any night he wants, wherever he wants to go.
He's going to take his home with him, you know?
Does he pay a mortgage?
He's weighed down by mortgage.
So do you have a little bit of a home?
Okay, okay.
Well, without getting into breaking down the semantics or assessing the degree to which the word homeless is a pejorative term or not, do you have a consistent dwelling of some sort now?
No, I'm in between realities.
I'm trying to.
It'd be hilarious if after all of that you said, nah, I'm in a goddamn sewer pipe right now.
I was hoping you would say that almost.
Yeah, I had a GoFundMe set up for $5,000.
I got about, what, $200 in, or maybe $100, I don't even remember, in a few weeks.
And I stopped pushing it because I kind of felt like begging.
I'm not trying to do that.
And, you know, I'll be able to figure it out.
I'm closer than I've ever been, and I've got a lot of opportunities.
I've got five good biggest.
Well, I mean, when you asked for the money, what were you saying it was going toward?
I mean, was there a specific goal?
Getting out of California.
Well, that's not really a problem.
Hey, honey, there's this guy who wants to, quote, get out of California.
Can I send him 20 bucks?
She's going to kick you in the beanbag.
I'm going to take this opportunity for a shameless plug.
If you go to gofundme.com slash amshaws, say that again, go where it's gofundme.com/slash amshaws, a-m-s-h-a-z.
You'll see my pitch there.
And basically, it says my get off the ground campaign.
Trying to get an art studio.
Want to make a bunch of really high-quality art.
Want to visualize the stuff that's in my mind's eye and actualize it in tangible form and share it with people so that they can see it.
And there's a variety of perks.
And, you know, people can get me to work on projects for a day, a week, a day or more.
And, you know, there's a fidget thing in there.
And it might work.
But otherwise, I mean, I've been pushing ahead at the time that I started that.
I needed to get from California to here.
That's taken care of now.
You know, now I'm just getting a license, and then I need to have enough dough to go down to California, rent a van, load up my storage with all the junk that's, I got a 5x10 storage full of stuff there.
Bring it up here and consolidate with the storage locker up here.
You know what?
This sounds like so much complicated bullshit.
Star Mountain, will you let him live with you?
Let's just get this over with.
He's not old enough.
Oh, my.
I'm 47.
Are you really that old?
Yeah, I'll be 48 in August.
You are old.
Yeah, I've got to be older.
No, I mean, I'm just saying, you're really old.
I had no idea you were that old.
I'm moving to Colorado.
I'm not moving to Colorado.
Got to be 55.
I'll visit Colorado, though.
I thought you were like at the oldest 40.
Sounds like what Star Mountain's saying.
She's in a retirement community where you have to be able to survive.
So, Star Mountain, are you saying he can't live with you because since he's not.
I'm saying that the way you can't live in the complex because you've got to be 55.
Well, 47, 55.
Who cares?
Yeah.
Just tell everybody he's your boy toy.
Things have been really good on the fidget front.
For the people that want fidgets, they can buy them from the people knocking me off at fidgetopia.com.
Why would you plug the people that are knocking you off and you want people to send you money with this kind of business acumen?
Really?
Well, actually, you're going to have to get off.
I didn't plug the bad one.
I plugged the good one.
Don't plug any of them.
They're ripping you off, dude.
Come on.
If you want people to send you money, you're going to have to demonstrate some level of basic business understanding.
There's a billion people in the world that might want to fidget, Mike.
Well, I'll never be able to make enough for all of you.
Well, you may have steered as many as six away from you.
That's all I'm saying.
Well, no, Dara's nice.
Her prices are higher than mine ever were, but that's okay.
Anyway, but she's used Recycle Chain and she's in rehabilitation herself, so I think it's a good thing.
But yeah, I'm going to do several different projects, and things are looking up.
Well, it wasn't for the help of the bell gabbers.
If it hadn't been for the help of Gravity promoting all the bell gabbers to be able to help me, I never would have been able to make it out of California.
So now I'm in Oregon and I can set up a business and not have to have a relationship with the California State Sales Franchise Tax Board.
I don't have to be dealing with their OSHA requirements and work safe place.
I mean, ask anybody who knows and they'll tell you it is the worst state to do business in.
So I had to get out of there.
So now I'm in Oregon.
It's a lot better environment and I'm working on setting up to be a legit and I'll have good, you know, reasonable offerings with a standard.
Now, Oregon has no sales tax or is it no income tax?
Which is it?
I can't remember.
There is income tax, there's property tax, but there's not sales tax.
Everything costs what it costs.
Yeah.
So when somebody buys something from me, I charge them the price that it costs.
I have to take a 10% bounty on everything.
And self-euthanasia is legal there, too.
What are you suggesting, Star Mountain?
Star.
You can either go live with Star Mountain or kill yourself.
You've got two choices ahead of you.
Which one seems better?
I don't know.
Yeah, that was it.
You're in California, Amy?
No.
I am in the Great Plains.
When she says Great Plains, that means she'd really rather not tell you.
You can hear him writing on a scratch pad as you say Great Plains.
You're like, boy, I'm glad I didn't give him more information.
Call the Tornado Alley.
Yes.
Talking about that the other night, I think.
I am talking about it almost every other week, it seems.
Yeah, it's supposed to be a pretty active season, too, so I hope you have a cellar.
No.
A seller.
We don't have sellers in this part of the city.
This is 2016.
People don't have sellers anymore, Star Mountain.
They have what are called basements.
If we could get the nomenclature correct.
Oh, okay.
That's a few.
Gravity says post the number and the Skype contact number.
The phone number, 573-837-4948.
That's 573-837-4948.
There is no Skype call in.
Just dial the phone number if you want to be on the show.
I really hate, you know, I do not like this whole thing of shows taking Skype calls.
I feel like a caller ought to sound like a caller.
You know what I mean?
There's just something displeasing to my ear about that.
Like when I was listening to Art doing his show, and I know I've complained about this a lot, but we have to fill time.
So what am I going to do here?
It just seemed there's something a little misaligned hearing a guest on his show with the same audio fidelity that I'm hearing Art with.
I just, my ear got accustomed to hearing callers or guests calling in on a phone, and that's just, I guess I'm getting old.
You know, maybe I'm just not moving with the tides.
Technology caught up.
Hey, real quick, we got derailed.
We got derailed when I was.
I just wanted to thank Belgab and Gravity Sucks in particular.
Belgab has touched so many lives, coast to coast.
I wouldn't have made it.
If I succeed, it's going to be all Belgab's fault.
You would be dead in a gutter right now if not for Belgab.
Can you accurately say this to me?
I mean, come on.
What about the thread name change for Belgab?
Suggestions, stuff?
That's been going on for a while.
Well, before we get into that, let's take a phone call here.
Hi, you're on the air.
Hello.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, buddy.
Who's this?
This is Gravity.
Oh, hey, what's going on?
I don't know why I didn't recognize your voice right away.
I didn't say Gravity, Gravity.
Can you hear them?
I heard Star and I heard Shaz.
Okay, that's good.
Yeah, that means you can hear them.
Can you hear Amy?
Amy, say something.
Say hello to GravitySucks, Amy.
Hi, Gravity.
I can hear you now.
Right.
So what's up?
Well, now that you posted the number or talked about the number, people can go ahead and start calling in.
So you say you're not using Skype anymore?
Well, yeah, we're using Skype, but I would rather people just call the number.
Okay, because I did try contacting through Skype on Gabcast Host or whatever.
No, I don't use that account anymore.
Okay, what's the new account?
Just call the phone number.
I did.
You're on the new account.
The new account, if you just go to Skype and you go to add a new contact and you search for ufoship.com, that is the Skype account for the Gabcast and all that stuff.
Okay.
Okay, so Gabcast Host is the old one that Eddie D. Right.
Okay, I got you.
No longer in use.
I just wanted to say hi.
I just want to call and say hi.
Well, we had taken a bet prior to the show.
Will GravitySucks call in to say hi?
And I am afraid to report that I lost.
I lost the bet.
I bet against you.
Don't ever bet against me, MV.
I always bet against Gravity Sucks.
Always.
Usually.
Always sucks.
It usually works out wonderfully for me.
Not this time.
Okay, buddy.
Thanks for calling.
All right.
Love y'all.
Bye.
That's Gravity Sucks.
Bye, Gravity.
And someone else tried to call a moment ago, and they hung up before I was able to put them on the air.
So if you would like to be on the show again, the phone number 573-837-4948.
573-837-4948.
The thread Star Mountain mentioned a moment ago, renaming Belgab.
What are your thoughts?
Do you think Belgab needs to be renamed?
Do you think something needs to change?
Because right now I kind of feel like things are fine.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, they are.
Just something to talk about.
No, we better not talk about it.
If I think things are fine, we shouldn't even broach the subject.
Okay, then never mind.
That's not what I meant.
Calm down, your pills.
Good grief.
We can talk about it.
What was it like being Nakashi?
Oh, I hated that.
It was it was fine, but nobody else liked it, so I changed it.
No, nobody liked it.
I'm sorry.
When I see well, that and well, because she couldn't figure out that she needs to say in the thread what she's changing from and to, because once we change her name, nobody will know what it was that she changed from.
They'll just see a post that says, hey, I want to be Nakashi now.
And when I hear Nakashi, that just sounds to me like you should be attempting to get me to help you move money that the prince is trying to send to you, but you can't get the money out of the country.
So you need my help, and I need to send $2,000 to help get the process started.
At the end of it all, I'm going to get five sweet ones, though.
Five mil.
Yeah, well, that's not happening because it's not that anymore.
So you're no longer a Nigerian email scammer.
That's good.
And it wasn't an Eastern name.
It was a fictitional name.
It's more tolerant than it would be Middle East.
I know three Nakashis in Morocco.
Okay.
I do.
I've had dinner with them.
We play games.
We tell stories.
Oh, shit.
No, I just made that up.
I don't know any Nakashis, I will say.
I think it's Nakashi.
Anyway.
Yeah, I was going to say pronunciation.
It could be Nakashi or Nak Ashaw or, you know, could go anyway.
Neiki.
I think that's the most efficient way to pronounce it.
Anyway, changing Belgab's name.
I'm not sure.
I don't know.
What do you want to talk about?
What do you want to say about it, Star Mountain?
I like it the way it is.
You do not.
You brought up the subject because you think it needs to be changed.
And now I scared you off of it.
You did not.
It was just something to talk about.
There are a lot of good suggestions in there.
Let's talk about Firefab.
About what?
Firefox.
Firefox.
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess we could.
I think you should change the name.
Never mind.
I was just going to say, Michael, if you were to ask me what the funniest post I saw on Belgab in the last 30 days, 60 days was since the last CabCast, whatever, I'd say it was Cambizat's Automat posting in the old should MV ban Neosporin and antiseptics.
I thought that that was just beautiful.
Camazat's Automat is probably, I'd say, easily in the top three most brilliant people ever to have used the forum.
And he's definitely one of these people whose posts I read and I say to myself, you know, I am not nearly as smart or educated as I like to think I am, as I like to pretend that I am.
I just feel, you know, I start looking over at a box of razor blades lovingly after I read his posts and come to the realization of just how dumb I actually am.
Hi, you're on the air.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey there.
Howdy, y'all.
This is Gravity Jen.
I'm doing my best to do that.
Oh, my God.
Lucy Hand imitation.
I'm doing my best, Lucy Hand imitation.
Multiple calls.
I just want to remind you, Emby, that you promised Brig that your wife was going to bring back the laptop from Morocco.
That's right.
So make sure you get all that logistics set up.
I don't want her getting arrested at back at customs when she comes to.
What's happening to you?
You're falling apart on this phone call.
You're verbally melting right in front of us.
I've never heard this from you.
You just now went that.
What's happened to this man?
I spent three weeks in the woods and didn't talk to a soul.
Well, you tell Brig that the deal's off.
I have instructed my wife to smash the laptop and it will not be making its way back to the States.
No, I'm kidding.
Oh, man, you're going to make her cry, man.
No, of course I'm not going to do that.
Brig is going to get the laptop that was used in April of 2008 to create Bellgab.com.
Isn't that something?
Isn't that something to hold on to, to show to your family as they stare at you with a confused look on their face?
As they, in non-plussed disbelief, look back at you and begin making their way toward the door.
Okay.
Bellgab.com.
Did Brig beat Falkey's $16 bid?
I'm not aware of anybody bidding on this laptop.
Oh.
Okay.
So, yeah, I have instructed my wife to bring it back from Morocco, and she's going to be back at the beginning of October.
And when she does bring it back, I will immediately properly sanitize the laptop for Brig.
I mean, this was owned by me for many years, and so I will make sure that it is something that your wife is getting so busted to cut something.
My wife has no idea why I am asking her to bring back a 13-year-old piece of shit laptop from Morocco.
She has no idea why I am instructing her to add that much physical weight to her bags for her return trip, where she also has to happen to take care of two small children.
Yeah, bring back this piece of garbage laptop that I don't think has run since 2009.
Bring that back with you, please.
Thank you.
And while you're at it, while you're at it, I hear that there is a wild animal market in Morocco.
Bring back a small elephant, please.
Just you can leash him right onto the plane.
I would prefer you do it with a red leash if it's possible, but if you can't work that out, any leash will do.
I don't want to be demanding.
Are you encouraging that your wife pachyderms via air?
I really advise against that.
I think that's going to put up a flag if you try with a pachyderm.
I don't know what happens if you walk into customs with an elephant.
I've often wondered that, and the next time I make entry into the United States, I will ask, hey, if I've walked up to you just now with an elephant, what's the process?
What is the procedure?
Tell me.
I need to know what the future holds for me.
If you want to be on the show, if you want to be on the show, the number 573-837-4948.
That is 573-837-4948.
If you want to be on the show, I guess if you have to call in on Skype and you don't want to do it from a phone, you can do that.
Just go to Skype, add a contact, search for ufo ship.com.
That'll be the account you need to call via Skype.
MG!
Dropped Amy.
Get her back on.
Who?
What?
Amy.
We dropped her?
Yeah, she got disconnected.
Oh, my.
How did that happen?
I was going to say, where's Amy?
She's not even online.
So, Amy has all this nice equipment, and she's, I'm sure, on a landline, like a hardwired internet connection.
And Mr. Fidget's setup is outperforming her tonight.
Okay.
Mr. Fidget is on 3G on a cell phone that he's holding up to his face.
And he's doing really well.
We can't seem to keep Amy on the show.
I've got a headset.
I wouldn't want to hold the nuclear device.
I wish you had disclosed the headset before I went bragging to everybody about your setup.
That would have been good.
Now I look like an idiot.
Here, I'll brag about the setup.
And I bought this phone and a month's service with one sculpture I made.
I made a sculpture, sold it, traded it, rather, gave it away.
And the person gave me $200, and I bought this phone.
So thank that person for this.
What can I tell you?
Okay.
Well, you guys are really busting at the seams here with stuff to talk about.
And like I said, I have not really been keeping up with you.
Somebody else got a funniest post?
I brought my funniest post.
Anybody?
Come on.
I think the funniest thing I have ever read on Bellgab, the thing that made me laugh harder than anything I've ever seen, for whatever reason, it just caught me in the right way.
It was Lone Voice.
And it was in that run-up to Art's Return back in 2013.
And hold on.
And he or she posted something to the effect, because she was mocking all the people who have all these demands about, oh, I want Art to have this on his website.
And oh, I'd like to be able to listen on this device.
Or, oh, I'd like to be able to listen on that device.
And she put up some post that was just mocking those people.
She was like, I'd like Art Bell to do his show from an RV parked in my driveway, broadcasting on a signal that's encrypted, which only I can receive on my baby monitors.
There was just a long list of really stupid demands in this post, and I'm sure somebody could find it if you went and look for it.
And it was the funniest thing I've ever read.
And there was also one time Coaster made a Falke video, which he I don't know why he totally pushed out.
It was the funniest thing.
It was like a compilation of little bits from all of Falkey's different videos.
He put it together, and it made me laugh so hard that I was physically, I think, injured as a result of that level of laughter.
And he had to just go and delete the video.
It was the funniest thing ever.
He said he would.
That's right.
That was funny.
Do you remember?
It was like making it look like Falkey punches his girlfriend.
And it was hilarious.
That was definitely one of the funniest things I've ever seen before.
Bell Gab miss a day, miss a lot.
There I go.
I missed that one.
That was quite a while back, actually.
Okay.
Well, I'm really, I have to, yeah, I see that Amy got disconnected.
Now it looks like she's back online, and I'm going to try adding her to the call.
See what happens here.
I just can't believe your connection is outperforming that of Amy, Mr. Fidget.
And this is 3G.
This is not even LTE.
You do have a headset, though, I mean, which you failed to disclose.
We will put that out there.
Amy, are you back?
Yes.
Yes, I'm back.
What's going on over there?
Yeah, I've got like 150 megs down, like 10 up.
Shouldn't be having any of these issues.
I'm just going to blame Windows 10.
That's always a safe bet.
You know, just anytime there's a problem, blame Windows, regardless of the version that you're using.
It'll be accepted as a reasonable explanation by just about anybody you present it to.
So, Amy, what's the last show you did?
What was the primary topic of discussion?
I guess it was UFOs, and then it moved into mystery science theater.
And I think we were kind of all over the place, really.
So do you believe that we are being visited by extraterrestrial life?
I'm hard-pressed to believe that.
I don't think I've seen any reasonable evidence to that effect, but I do find the stories interesting.
I don't.
I don't find any of them interesting.
No, actually, a couple of them I do find interesting, but I agree.
I don't believe at all that we've been visited by beings from other places.
And the first reason is distance.
And I understand that, yes, an advanced race could have some mechanism of bending space and time in ways that allow them to travel all the way here to our solar system.
But I just feel like life is probably so plentiful out there in the universe that we're probably rather uninteresting.
I think life is extremely common when you look at just the number of stars there are out there, almost, well, I can't say all of which because I don't know, but a huge percentage of which have objects orbiting them, some of which have atmospheres.
I mean, it's just a limitless number of stars floating around out there.
I cannot believe that life is not just all over the place out there.
And if it is, we would be rather uninteresting, I would think.
Even if somebody could travel all the way over here, it'd be like going to China in order to swab up some staff and look at it in a petri dish when you could just swab up some staff and look at it over here in the United States.
It wouldn't make any sense.
I think that there's probably life out there somewhere in the universe.
But I had a recent discussion with an astrophysicist several weeks ago.
We still talk online.
I'm going to bring him back on the show for another project that he's working on.
But he's proposed this new thing.
It's something about sending out a beacon using lasers to let everybody know that we're out here.
And he's also talked about using something called, it's called D-Star.
Basically, I don't know if you've read any of the news about this.
Yuri Milner had sunk about $100 million into this project to send out these chips, I guess.
They call them these little chips that have kind of microlabs on them and information.
They wanted to send these things out to Alpha Centauri.
And I think it's going to take them about maybe 30 years to actually construct this laser that they propose to send these chips out.
But then, you know, I think it's going to take maybe another 20, 30 years.
Depends on exactly how fast these things are traveling to reach a point where we can say, okay, well, this thing is now at, you know, our target.
And then, well, maybe I'd say about 50 years, we should have some data back from those areas.
But there's a new project that they're proposing now.
It's part of his private company.
I can't really get into all the details just yet because they're going to be making a big announcement about that next month.
Come on, let's scoop it.
Let's do it.
Well, I mean, it's kind of along the same lines of sending chips out.
And I'm not sure if they're going to be using like a modified D-Star laser.
Obviously, the original project, you know, it took, you know, $100 million to invest in this idea.
And then it's probably going to take so many more billion dollars to actually make this stuff.
You know what they should do?
It would be so much cheaper than all this complexity.
Just take a giant bag full of bottles.
Each bottle has a note in it and a cork, and you just send it up in space and just blow the bag up and the bottles just go out all over space.
I think that's probably the most appropriate way to try and communicate all of this extraterrestrial life.
Well, they were talking about actually they were talking about sending out a mothership full of these little chips that would spread out to all the corners of these different places and collect data.
I don't know why everyone is so interested in the idea of contacting other people.
I mean, I think that's a dangerous approach to things.
I think we should be more focused on receiving communications from others, not contacting others, because you don't know who's listening on the other end.
Could be a little bit different.
I've talked about it.
When I was talking to him about it, he said, you know, if the technology exists, there's no way you're going to be able to prevent anybody from trying to make contact.
If you have that technology to make contact or to potentially make contact, it's going to happen regardless.
Alpha Centauri, what is that, like four light years away from us?
I believe it's, I do, I think it's four light years away.
Let me take a look here.
If you could go ahead and if we could get our staff to go ahead and look that information up and provide it to the hosts, I would be appreciative.
It's 4.367.
Okay, so if we're talking about sending physical objects to a location that takes light speed.
Yeah, to a local, you said 20% of light speed?
I believe so.
I believe it's 20% of light speed.
So that means we are going to age more quickly than these chips will as they're traveling.
Is that right?
Or does that mean the chips age more than we do?
I can't remember which it is.
We will age more quickly, I guess.
Well, that's a little depressing.
I wanted the chips to age more quickly.
Well, damn it.
Oh, well.
But most people don't have a 50-year career.
So what's this guy going to pass his research on to his kids?
That's the idea.
I mean, he's got a whole group of people he's working with.
A lot of younger doctoral students and things.
And I mean, it's a program.
He set up the roadmap for this.
I believe that there are a lot of other people that are working on this main project.
And so that I think that got passed off to this new organization that was set up to house all the money donated by Yuri Miller.
But I don't know all the details of that project, but what he's proposing to do now with this new project, that's going to be all between him and the people that he works with over there.
They've got a new company.
And again, they're going to be making all those announcements next week.
So I don't want to speak on behalf of them, but it's really interesting.
You should.
You should just come on our show in a lie and say, listen, I have been directly authorized to speak on their behalf.
Everything I say, imagine it's just from them.
I totally am author.
Yeah.
I've been a part of some of the pre-planning meetings for the, they're going to be launching a Kickstarter next Monday.
So that's going to be part of it too.
And so I've given some minor feedback here and there, but I'm not an astrophysicist or a cosmologist.
I'm not going to even attempt to try to give feedback there.
I wonder what they interview them on the radio.
I wonder what the meetings are like.
People are arguing whether the chips, the little chips, should just be, you know, green silicon.
Or if they should have, I would argue, little Hello Kitty designs on each chip.
I think each chip should...
That's a really damn good idea.
I like that.
Think each chip, the silicon should be pink, and then you have the tracks, the circuit tracks.
Those could be white, and those.
I think if we're going to contact extraterrestrial life, we should try and be at least slightly fashionable in the course of doing so.
Well, this new idea is certainly going to be controversial when it comes to what's being sent.
Way to carry on from that.
After I say something like that, where do you carry on with the cupsuit?
Okay, well.
Well, it's really going to be controversial, I think.
But you're sort of think Voyager, think golden record.
Think, you know, what gets put out on these space probes.
Not that they're traveling at any tremendous speed or anything, but, you know, send out copies of Wikipedia.
We should be concentrating on A, listening for other life, and B, getting humanity the hell off of this planet.
Because that really has to be our ultimate goal.
As our sun gets hotter and hotter.
So where are we going to go?
Well, I mean, we need to learn how to build sustainable ecosystems on other bodies.
I mean, starting with the moon, starting with Mars.
I don't know.
Mars is probably more plausible, I guess, because it at least has a little bit of an atmosphere, enough to sort of mitigate some of that temperature variation between sunlight and no sunlight.
So that would help.
But we need to focus on getting off of this planet.
Go ahead, Star Mountain.
I'm sorry.
What did you say?
I said, just like in Battlestar Galactica.
You know, I've never seen that.
I've never seen that.
So you'll have to.
They had to leave their planet.
Well, that sounds sad.
Well, they had to.
Were they all crying and they didn't want to leave?
And, you know, the little alien kids are holding on to their mommy's legs.
They didn't want to go.
You have to go, Zerk Jar.
We have to leave.
Oh, boy.
Well, I have to say that I don't feel like I'm bringing the goods here so far in the Gabcast Fidget guy.
trying, but I just don't have it.
Well, that's...
What about interterrestrials?
Intraterrestrials.
They're inside, right?
So if each one of us is comprised of a trillion cells and we're seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting, blinking, lifting, looking, all these things at the same time, maybe we got like a ship's crew inside there.
And we're like the captain.
So when we came on the planet, we said, hey, leave us alone until we're done flying, okay?
But keep a good log.
I think that's where we're going to find them is intraterrestrials.
Cellular consciousness.
Yeah, the universal language, yeah.
Yeah.
I thought math was the universal language.
It is.
It is.
There's certainly, and DNA is math.
That's why I hate math so much.
I'm very xenophobic.
Ah, yes.
All right.
You guys are really rolling with it here.
What can I tell you?
Okay, if you want to be on the show tonight, the number to call 573-837-4948-573-837-4948.
You know, I remember that period of time.
The funniest post somebody else saw.
Yeah, call in with your funniest post you saw.
Come on, we're trying to laugh over here.
Or anything, really.
But when I think of UFOs and the extraterrestrials, all of that, that whole universe and the interest therein, I think of this period of time in the early 90s when I'm 36.
I don't know how old you are, Amy.
32.
I know Mr. Fidget is extremely old.
Star Mountain is just really pushing it.
I mean, she's just.
Be careful.
She's just.
Star Mountain's just rolling around in her little retirement community there.
Not a care in the world.
Have you seen her legs?
Have you seen her legs?
Oh, my.
Is there a story here?
I'm interested.
I had my legs up for an avatar.
Did you really?
Yes.
You shot two.
You did not.
So there, I brought something to the show.
My work is done here.
Yeah, I shot them a few minutes before I posted them on my avatar, so they're fresh legs.
Well, anyway, I'm 36, and so I can remember this period of time in the early 90s.
Everybody was interested in aliens and UFOs.
It was like, it was like the thing.
It's like you can, it's sort of analogous to certain things you'll see in politics.
There will be certain issues in politics that everybody's really interested in.
It's the big argument of the moment.
And for instance, at this period of time, everybody was arguing about abortion.
That was the big argument everybody was having in the political universe.
Well, in the, I guess, paranormal-ish universe, everybody was just going batshit about aliens.
And so you'd be watching TV and you'd see, call now, 1-900-909-UFOs.
That's 1-900-909 UFOs to hear the gripping tales of some of the most harrowing alien abductions that the mainstream media won't allow you to be exposed to.
Only $4.99 per minute.
I mean, it was really insane, the things that people used to spend money on.
I have not seen one of those paid 900-type numbers in forever.
It's probably been 20 years since I've seen one of them.
For anything, I haven't seen one of those advertised in forever.
But I swear to God, in like 1992, 91, you could be watching TV, and every other commercial was some phone number you could call and hear bull crap recordings for five bucks a minute about aliens.
Hi, I'm Mitchell.
I know a guy who made millions in that business in Vegas.
He had a phone sex operation, 900 numbers, and I saw him buy a painting off the ground for $20,000.
Yep.
What kind of phone numbers was he running?
The 900 number, the phone sex.
Oh, it was phone sex?
I think in that case, at least you're getting something for your money, sort of.
I mean, sort of.
With the alien thing, you just...
And you would call...
I actually asked Toy Mommy, can I call the number?
And I guess they were feeling saucy, so they let me call it.
And I called, and it was just like, I mean, it was just, it was utterly unintelligible.
You could not.
I am entirely convinced this was just some guy running an answering machine on a phone number at the other end that just picked up, recorded on one of those little micro cassettes, probably.
You know, I think one of the first things I ever queried on the internet was Hellbob.
Well, yeah, I remember watching that fly over.
Wow, that was cool.
I thought about killing myself when Hillbop came over, but I held off.
I resisted.
Now I'm here to talk about it.
I'm not sure that, didn't I?
Yeah, that was pretty controversial.
Yeah, a lot of people blamed art because those people killed themselves.
Which is pretty dumb.
I mean, that is, you know.
These people were already established, weren't they?
Like, established as in professionally.
Established as a cult, and they're still out there.
There are people out there that are still checking the emails for Heaven's Gate.
And I wonder what those people were told as everybody.
Listen, we're going to go with our fresh new sneakers, but you need to stay behind because we're going to be getting email and there's not someone here.
I mean, that sounds like it.
If there's not someone here to answer that email, we can't be having people thinking everybody died.
So, holy shit, one of the let's see what the Heavensgate website says here.
Because I was reading it back a few months ago, and then I didn't realize.
I guess when I was younger, I didn't fully realize all the controversy surrounding, I guess, you know, the person that came on coast at that time talking about they were, I guess they were in psychic contact with a UFO or something that was following Hail Bop.
And, you know, there was that whole flap that was going on.
But, you know, I didn't really understand all that.
I wanted to report on it.
But when I found out all the controversy, I was like, eh, I'm going to step back from that.
But this is pretty interesting.
But yeah, if you go to heavensgate.com, let's see.
Let's listen for a moment to what Michael Horne has to say about all this.
The kingdom of heaven.
We're going to talk to you about the most urgent thing that is on our mind, and what we suspect is the most urgent thing on the minds of those who will connect with us.
A comet.
We'll title this tape planet Earth.
Usually you want to have a title ready to be.
Your only chance to evacuate is to leave with us.
Planet Earth about to be recycled.
Your only chance to.
I think he is right because I think people are on some level recycling more now than perhaps they once were.
But I don't know that Earth proper has necessarily been recycled.
I have to disagree with him.
That seems that it never happened.
And by the way, if they were so sure that was going to happen, why did the email guy agree to stay behind and answer the emails?
I don't understand.
What about reduce and reuse?
You know, we could reduce and reuse, too.
Do we have to just recycle?
I don't like having my options limited by likelihood.
Who's this horn guy anyway?
That seems really wasteful to buy all those really nice Reeboks and then just let them get ruined by dead guy juice.
That doesn't seem right.
I think that there are a lot of...
Is that his real name, Horn?
Tell me that's not a stage name.
That's Michael Horn.
No, I'm kidding.
That's Marshall Applewhite, the now deceased leader of the Heavensgate cult.
Applewhite.
They call themselves the away team.
The people that committed suicide.
Oh, so the people who remained, what were those?
The bridge crew?
I guess so.
The away team.
I'd like to go on the away team, Captain.
No, you stay here.
The captain wasn't supposed to go on the away team.
They were the recon.
Yeah, the captain shouldn't go on the away team.
This guy should be the one here answering everybody's emails.
We should have Belgab tribals, too.
We'll call them Trabbles, though, so you don't get in trouble.
Don't want CBS.
Mr. Fidget, please go live with Star Mountain.
I really think that that is the way forward for you.
She's got an extra room.
She told me you can use.
You don't?
No, I don't.
She said Can pitch a tent right in the driveway.
My calendar is just working hard.
It's booked.
It's going to work.
Everything is going great.
He could use your parking space then.
I'll stop by and visit, maybe.
We can have coffee.
I would hang out with you, Mr. Fidget.
Well, thanks.
I mean, I'm friendly.
I'm housebroken.
I've been in a lot of houses.
I've actually knocked on hundreds of thousands of doors all across the country through dozens of states.
That sounds like different people live.
Well, no, that's traveling and working.
When I travel, I don't go knocking on doors.
What kind of traveling are you doing?
You ever had one of those guys come up to your door trying to sell you a cleaner or magazine subscriptions?
You sold vacuum cleaners?
No, no, cleaner.
We're the guys trying to take a spot out of the carpet.
I was young.
I was 18, 19.
I saw an ad.
It was a Will Travel Work Crew.
And it's a pretty grueling deal.
But you learn the secrets to all these things.
So the more things you do, the more secrets you got.
So since I've done all these different careers, I've seen the secrets of how these things work.
So the cleaner people, for instance, what they're doing basically is selling industrial degreaser, like what you'd find at a truck stop to degrease a truck wheel, except then they water it down and dilute it.
And then they sell you that as a concentrate, and you water it down and dilute it, and it works good.
They put some fancy brand name label on it and tell you how great it is.
And the person sells the sizzle and you buy the cleaner and it works okay, but you paid like 20 times what they did.
So I am, as of now, I am receiving two cases per month of this, and you're telling me I'm being ripped off.
Okay.
That's great.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can search for industrial degreaser and that stuff works.
I should have said no.
Yeah, it's all right.
Clean a lot.
Okay.
So if I go look at Star Mountain's avatar right now, I'm going to check out her legs.
Is that what you're telling me?
That's right.
That's right.
Okay, well, let's see what she's packing.
I'm going to go take a look right now.
Star Mountain.
Michael Van Dieven saying he's going to move in with Star Mountain in five, four, three, two, one.
I. I've already asked her.
She absolutely declined the offer.
So these are your legs.
Those are my legs.
Yep.
Yep.
Okay.
Homegrown and everything.
All right.
Now, how old are you?
Come on.
How old are you?
That's not a polite question to ask a legal.
It's 2016.
It must be from Bellgab.
It's 2016.
It is now permissible to allow, to ask a woman how old she is.
Okay, let's say I'm 60 plus.
Okay, well, in that age bracket, I'd say, even not in that age bracket, you have actually nice legs.
You're doing okay there.
Now, I would need to see the rest in order to make a full assessment.
That's a work in progress.
Six months.
Oh, I'm not sure I like the sound of that.
Well, hey, I got lazy over a few years.
I got to tone it up.
I'm not going to.
No.
Just know.
Six months.
Okay, so those are actually Star Mountain's legs.
I did not know.
Those are actually my legs.
Had I known those were your legs, I would have given the avatar more attention.
I would have given it much more attention.
Fidget scores one point for Belgab knowledge.
Okay, well, now I will say also taking into account Star Mountain's age, if I were to rate her legs in this picture, I'm going to give her an 8.7.
Alrighty, thank you.
Amy?
Out of what?
What's your rating?
33.
I'm trying to find these legs.
You just have to go look at the, I'm just on Bellgab right now.
All I have to work with is my memory.
And it's hazy.
I had low resolution on a small phone.
But I'm going to one-up you.
I'll go with an 8.9.
Okay.
I can accept that.
I'm revising 9.1.
This is a tiny photo.
This is a really tiny photo.
I think it's been airbrushed.
No, I don't even know how to do that.
Okay.
This is a little controversial.
Amy accuses Star Mountain of airbrushing her leg photos.
Star Mountain, what do you say about that?
Oh, I don't airbrush the photo.
I airbrush the legs.
I think if you're going to put pictures of your legs on the forum, Star Mountain, you shouldn't edit the pictures.
You should just put them out there.
I don't know how to do that anyway, so.
Okay.
Well, the accusation was unfounded, apparently, Amy.
I'm sorry, Star.
Please forgive me.
So how do you feel about the term Cougar?
She won't really know how to feel about the term until Mr. Fidget comes to her house and lives there for a while.
Oh, my goodness.
Well, he can come visit, and that way you can throw those in my real legs untouched.
Is that the word you like to use?
Visit.
Unairbrushed.
Goodness gracious.
So when I was on with Art, I got a whole bunch of crazy stuff in the mail, right?
Hundreds of people.
Changed the subject.
And one of the things I got was an actual possibility of experimental studies of the properties of time from 1968 before I was born.
It's an actual National Technical Information Service document.
So the gentleman, Don, who sent it to me, he wrote on the front of it here.
He said, Dear Mr. Fidget, you are correct.
There is a time divergence between cause and effect.
This astrophysicist found a lot more similarity between double stars than probability would predict, showing that they age at different speeds until they are equal.
He doesn't talk about time reversals with his double stars or asymmetric pendula, so your fidgets are apparently better pieces of apparatus.
This copy doesn't appear to be clear enough to reproduce.
It's my only copy.
Please send me a fidget catalog.
I hope you have noted or will say which ones have been reported to induce the best time travel.
And good luck, Don.
And then inside, I mean, it goes on for 26 pages, but I just flip to a random page, give you a little bit of one of the normal guy document.
The tests with the pendulum provided the same results.
A gyroscope suspended on a fine wire during the vibration of a point of this suspension deflected in a direction from which its rotation transpired in a clockwise direction.
The vibration of the suspension was accomplished with the aid of an electromagnetic device.
26 pages of that, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can imagine.
You know, I'm going to try that in my normal day-to-day life, like just around people I know.
When the subject becomes uncomfortable, I'm just going to be like.
So anyway, Mr. Fidget was on with Art Bell back in 1998, and what happened was, and just break it right there, just go right into it.
I think that'll work well.
There's a lot to it.
There's a lot to it.
We'll take a lot of time to work it out, though.
All right.
Show's over.
It's been a pleasure, you guys.
I hope that after the show on our best behavior.
I hope that those of you who didn't catch the entire show will visit ufoship.com where you can download the entire show.
You can also subscribe.
You can also subscribe in your podcatcher.
That'll allow you to have the shows automatically downloaded to your device whenever they're posted.
And also, remember, we don't ask you for money.
We don't make you subscribe to anything in order to receive these shows.
We don't make you pay a dime.
But it would be nice.
Well, can I finish this for the love of Christ?
Holy shit, are you insane?
Yes, sir.
So, anyway, if you'll just, instead of handing us money, just go to, or handing me money, go to ufoship.com and click on e-cigs in the main menu and then buy some stuff.
I think you're going to find that the quality of the items available to you there far exceeds anything you've seen before.
Go ahead, Mr. Fidget.
So, I announced a radio show thing a while back on Bellgab, and that radio show thing is still coming together.
I was talking to the gentleman, same guy that's producing Hopeland's thing, and it's still coming.
So, stay tuned, and I'll have some announcements.
So, you will be appearing on a terrestrial radio station.
Is that right?
I will be.
It will be archived.
It will be paid.
Because you told us two years ago this was going to happen, and then it never materialized.
I have my doubts, I have to say.
Okay, well, that's what I'm saying.
I want you to prove me wrong.
That's what I'm saying.
I hope that this does happen for you.
I think you could easily fill a couple hours.
There's no doubt about that.
I'm going to pull it off.
It'll be fun.
All righty, folks.
Thanks for having me on the gabcast.
Thanks, Mr. Fidget.
Thanks, Amy.
Thanks, Star Mountain.
And thanks, you got it.
And thanks to everybody else listening out there.
Have a good night, and we'll see you next time.
Hopefully, really soon.
We're going to try and do these gabcasts more frequently.
So, how about that?
See ya.
You've been listening to The Gabcast, a podcast about bellgab.com.
▲
Export Selection