Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Al Michaels' controversial slurs, debate the TMNT reptilian conspiracy, and critique Gavin Newsom's political performance. They analyze Kash Patel's interference in hockey celebrations, contrast Alyssa Liu with Eileen Gu, and expose the myth of meritocracy amidst elite corruption. The hosts scrutinize Epstein's suspicious death, missing FBI interviews regarding Trump, and the Wexner deposition, arguing that systemic poverty fuels revolution unless accountability pairs with economic reform to prevent further unrest. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Racist Siamese Twin Comparison00:07:09
All right, what's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant Kraken.
Damn.
What the hell?
What is that?
How?
Did you have like an involuntary auditory response?
Bro, racist.
I can't control it.
Oh, is that what's happening right now?
Oh, I've got it.
Got it.
Come on.
Let me interrupt.
I'm not going to let you rid him up.
I was just going to introduce everybody.
What's up?
It's Schultz.
This is Alex Medium.
Monkey.
It feels like you might be making fun of disabled people.
They're racist.
Yeah.
You're making fun of racist, disabled people.
What the hell?
Yeah, dude.
You can't do that.
Oh, yeah.
That's actually kind of bad.
No, no, no, don't die.
That's a stroke of luck to be racist and have Tourette's.
Right?
Like, because Miles has no excuse for his racism.
Yeah.
Because we know he doesn't have Tourette's.
He has to sneak it in, even though we see it every single time.
But like to be racist and then just be like, oops, every single time.
And people feel bad for you.
Can you explain to the good people what's going on?
It's basically like having a Siamese twin and being into incest.
No, I mean literally.
I mean literally what's going on.
Think about it.
No, no, think about it.
It's like, if you're into incest, every time you touch you, you're touching the family, right?
So if you have a Siamese twin, it's your pussy and their pussy.
Bro, that's a good point.
It's your dick and their dick.
I never thought about that.
Yeah, you don't think about people who are Siamese twins and into incest.
You don't think about that.
Think about it.
Think about how lucky they are.
You're born a Siamese twin, right?
Before you reach your sexual nature, you're like, oh my God, this sucks.
And like, I got this head coming out of here.
Then all of a sudden, you hit puberty and you're like, man, or you're 18.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
At 18 years old, you hit puberty and you're like, damn, I just really want to fuck my family.
And then you're like, wait a minute.
Oh, shit.
And then your brother is like, Harold, why are you rubbing our butthole on this?
I'm still working it out, guys.
I'm still working it out.
Wait, so if your two brothers, Siamese style, sharing a body and one genital organ.
The dream if you love incest.
If you love incest, that is the dream.
If you are crippled by that disability of loving the idea of fucking your family members and you have one attached to you, they're growing off your back.
They can't do shit.
Damn.
They can't do shit.
That's why.
One is going to be like this.
The other one's going to be like that.
Jeff Slapshaft.
He might not control the hands.
So only one of them.
I think control aside.
We never know.
We don't know what the situation is.
Who controls the piece?
Like, who feels the peace the most?
Ideally, your brother.
Then you jerking his dick because that's what someone who's into incest would like.
Again, I'm just putting a hypothetical out there.
They both feel it the same, and then they got to take turns.
They'd be like, yo, you got it tonight.
Guys, look, there are Siamese twins out there.
We can ask them about these things.
My suspicion is that they are not also afflicted with a lustful desire of incest.
Yeah, you can't have two both into incest.
That would be the nuts.
Now, if they are.
Let's be realistic.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
Hypothetically speaking, if they are, why leave the house?
Right?
It's like every day, Super Bowl.
There's nothing you would need to do in life.
Damn.
What was that sound?
That's my jaw hard.
Okay, so can we talk about this man, this brutal disease that he has that allows you to just fucking be yourself at all times?
Can we explain?
My bad, Tourette's people.
Wasn't making fun of y'all.
Well, here's the thing with Tourette's people.
Like, how often is it that they just yell this?
Because I fall that one Tourette's girl on Instagram.
Yeah, I still think it's fake.
So that's the thing.
Like, how much of it is like leaning into it?
Do you don't think there's a little part of him who's like telling his boys, like, I'm going to fucking say it the second, the second two black guys are up there?
I'm going to say it.
You got to check the calciotts because there's one person that's like, oh, as they screamed the N-word during the bathtub.
It was 10 million.
They're like, oh, a random account.
You got to check 10 million.
No, no, no, there's no way.
I hope to God there's no way.
I hope they got there.
So is it racism?
Or go, go, go.
Or what?
Or is it that thing where you're like, we all think of the worst thing you could possibly do in a moment?
Right?
You're at a funeral and you're like, oh, God.
And like, you start kind of giggling to yourself because it would be really inappropriate if you did something.
If you would scream the N-word, that's it.
Like, wouldn't that be really inappropriate?
That would be really inappropriate.
That would be really fucked up.
And none of us would do that.
I've never had that thought.
No.
You know way more dead people.
I know some.
You've been to way more funerals than me.
I've been to a handful.
Yeah.
But I wouldn't ever say that.
I would never yell at a funeral.
There's no proof that you haven't done it.
No, there's people that have been to these funerals that would testify on my behalf.
Yeah, they probably testify because you got a bunch of fucking lying Catholics in your family.
Nobody's going to trust that goislap testimony.
Anyway, nobody's going to trust that goislap.
You're going to go up there?
We can agree you shouldn't do it at a funeral, no matter what.
I don't think you should do it in any situation.
Yeah.
Now, if you know that there was a chance you were going to do this, would you show up to the award show?
I mean, it's his award show also.
Like, it was for the movie that he was in.
Yeah.
It was made about him.
Yeah.
But, like, if you know that this could happen and it might overshadow this beautiful movie that was made about you, would you do it?
Remember when we felt like a dog muzzle?
And then no matter what word you say, it turns it into not the end word.
Yeah.
Well, potential.
We had a show.
That's a potential face word.
We had a show, shout out.
It was in California somewhere.
I forget.
I'm pretty sure.
It was upstate.
Oh, it was upstate.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
My bad.
Anyway, we had a show and there was a woman who had Tourette's.
And I think it was apparent pretty early.
She disclosed it to the club.
She disclosed it to the club.
And what I said to Dove was, I was like, look, here's the deal.
I want you guys to enjoy this show.
My fear is that if you start having the ticks, it might interrupt the show and interrupt the other people who are able, you know, who came here to go watch the show.
And you might also feel embarrassed.
I'm going to have to address it.
And I don't want to embarrass it.
Like, it might be a whole thing.
Would you be down to watch the show side stage?
So we're like able to put her side stage.
Some might say a better seat.
You put her in the colors only section, bro.
That's crazy.
The fact that you would assume that she's like, that's crazy, bro.
Yeah.
You would make it racial, Alex.
You have to make it racial.
This whole thing is racial, man.
I'm traumatized.
He was yelling.
How the hell did he not just yell whatever race the rest of the presenters were to even it out?
Well, apparently he did say some other slurs through, or not slurs, but throughout.
But he has to slur it every time.
Yeah, well, yeah, you have to follow it up with another slur just to get it off you being like, oh, I'm not always racist.
Why The Ninja Turtles Offended Him00:14:37
Like if Alan Cummings is up there, what would you say?
If you're not.
Well, he is Scottish.
Yeah, so what would you say?
What would you be?
What would you say?
Think about something Scottish.
Oh, hey, look at you.
Yeah.
All right.
That's a good, that's a Scottish slur.
Like, he could say that one.
I like Alan Cummings too much, but I can't say that.
Alan Cummings is the man.
I know.
He's dope.
I love him.
But there's no way a tick goes off.
Like every time Alan Cummings, like even hearing that, I'm kicking.
I don't want to let something loose.
Has anybody ever told them to not say, like, try to not say it?
But that probably makes you want to say more.
Yeah, because I've heard people say that it's like an OCD thing where you're like, oh, don't say the worst thing.
And then you say the worst thing and it comes out.
That does, that is true.
So if you say, don't say it, it's the worst thing.
You almost have to say, hey, say whatever you want.
And then the OCD will go.
And then someone said that to him.
And he was like, fine, this has nothing to do with Tourette's.
It's like telling you something off pod.
And then don't bring it up.
Yeah, exactly.
You're saying I do that?
Yeah.
Give me one instance.
Give me one instance of personal information for the entire internet.
Literally, all my past relationships.
Not this current one.
Not this current one.
Yeah.
I don't say anything.
I don't tell you shit anymore.
I don't say anything about her visa issues.
I don't say anything about her visa issues.
She's talking about the credit card.
You know, yeah, yeah.
She has a spender.
She's a spender.
Is she a spender?
Nah, not a real trend.
Do you ever, in a fight, bring that up in a fight with her?
Do you ever just you'll never in a fight just play villain LISE, guys?
Right now, there's ice and Trump around.
It's not, it's not funny.
That's not, it's not funny.
But she never brings up shit in a fight.
Oh, your dick gets skinnier as it goes to the base.
Factual observation.
She never brings that up.
Like, you talk about that.
Why does your dick get skinnier as it goes to the base?
It's your torpedo-looking dick.
I don't want to open up another WTF studio.
It's your torpedo-looking dick having that.
And then you never want to say anything.
Nah, it's like the middle porridge.
It's just right.
It's just right.
I knew where you were going with that.
I think so.
I don't know.
I know your favorite shit.
He prints new phrases every day.
That's awesome.
His favorite Jewish bears.
Perfect goistlop to get you to just do no.
It's a parent seen bears.
It's Goldilocks.
No.
Goldilocks.
Well, isn't that also their thing?
Golden locks.
That's good.
That's good.
You see, I know, bro.
That's all that was just.
I'm so crazy.
Off the cup races.
No matter what fucking bear is.
Wait, were they even, but was Goldilocks a bear?
There were bears involved, but I don't know what their religion was.
We have no way.
Don't do that.
We have no.
What does Dove's name mean?
Okay, technically, that means bear.
I'm just saying, guys, do the math.
Wow.
Don't let me start talking about the ninja turtles, Mark.
Mark, don't let me start talking about the ninja turtles.
That one I think you're fine to talk about.
Mark, it's technically not racist.
Hold on, I'm sending it to Joey right now.
Don't let me talk about the ninja turtles.
He said there was a two-in-the-morning last night.
Don't let me not.
I wasn't getting radicalized.
2 a.m., dude.
I wasn't getting radicalized because my wife is sleeping in the other room with the newborn and I'm by myself to scroll as long as my fucking hearts decided.
Yeah, I'm getting that's a nice scroll right there.
Oh, unlimited doom scroll.
Yeah, yeah, you're on your own.
What you got?
What you got?
I kind of want to say that.
Don't let me get started about the indoctrination.
Indoctrination.
Not even like a doctrination.
It's the indoctrination because what is it?
Oh, come on.
Do the math.
Here it is.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a show about reptiles, reptilians living underground in underground tunnels.
Well, food do they like the most?
Pizza.
Pizza is code word for pedophiles.
Their connection with April is their connection to the mainstream media, how they influence the masses from behind the scenes.
So, Shredder, we owe you an apology, fam.
These riders just put it in front of our faces for too long.
So, eggs.
Shout out, eggs.
I mean, a few things.
I don't think turtles are reptiles.
I think they're amphibians.
Yeah, they're definitely amphibians.
What do you mean, definitely?
That's what you said here.
Fucking reptile.
Why would they be a reptile?
It's an amphibian.
Obviously, they had to throw the scent off the trail.
You think they're going to actually put a reptile under there?
That would be too obvious.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pizza's not, I mean, Pizza's code word for something else used by the PDFs.
And turtles were into a lot of pizza.
Yeah.
And what about April?
What about their connection to April?
I don't know what April is.
April is.
Oh my God, Mark.
I didn't watch this.
I'm a child.
I didn't watch it.
You don't have a child.
I'm not going to watch this satanic pedophile show.
Dude, I'm a child.
I'm going to watch other stuff.
Rachel.
Snowball from the top.
Damn it.
Rachel was a badass ginger.
Her name is April.
What the fuck are you reading?
Damn, dude.
He's really, he's losing.
I'm losing it.
We got to get on the stage immediately.
I think my Tourette's is really taking over.
I'm saying it kind of wrong.
Badass Ginger.
Named?
April.
Thank you.
Work for the media.
I'm doing propaganda for the Ninja Turtles.
Oh.
What channel?
Channel 6.666.
What does that mean?
Devil's number.
Yeah.
Do the math.
Do the math.
Why don't we start on this?
I don't.
We're talking about BAFTA.
Can we get some AC in here?
It's getting hot.
BAFTA, dude.
This guy has like stage four, right?
Oh, my.
And Al.
Got him.
Al, come on.
They got him.
He might just have alopecia.
You know, he looks like.
Do you remember Harry Potter when the guy takes off the turban?
Yo, he's on the back of the sorcerer stone.
Yeah.
Professor Quirrell.
Yep.
He got a little of that look, but he's spitting right now.
Yeah.
He is spitting right now.
Yeah, but he didn't even mention the tunnels and the rats.
He did.
He did.
He mentioned the title.
I missed it.
He did miss it.
Oh, I couldn't get past it.
No, I broke.
That shit is crazy.
You're a little boy, Brandy.
He can't handle this kind of next level information.
He's just ascending, bro.
He's ascending right now.
What do we do about the guy with Tourette's?
Do we forgive him because this is an illness that he did not ask to have?
Is it actual racism?
I've heard a lot of people saying that it is actually racist, and we're not going to forgive him for having Tourette's.
I think both things can be true.
I think they could be legitimately offended if they choose to be.
Yes.
But also.
I was offended.
You were.
Secondhand offense.
Yep.
Tell us what it felt like.
I didn't see the clip, actually.
All right.
Well, let's see how offended you are.
Go ahead.
Roll the phone clip.
Wow.
You're going to subject me to that again?
Again?
Yeah, because you didn't see the clip.
Hey, well, they lie.
First, second time for every shit.
They lie.
Yo, what are you?
We are going to be presenting the first BAFTA of the night for a vital part of movie making.
We're here to be funny.
That's not funny.
That's great.
He's screaming.
He waited for the beat.
He waited for the sound.
That moment of silence.
Not Tourette's, bro.
Come on.
Because if Tourette's is involuntary, why are you waiting for the moment of silence?
Yeah, the beat drop.
The beat drops.
You're going to tell me that guy's racist.
Was that perfect the timing?
There's no way.
And what Tourette's are you screaming at the top of your lungs?
That is a great point.
He could have whispered it.
He could have set it into his shirt.
Nah.
He's like, nah, I want y'all to hear me.
I ain't mic'd up.
And everybody heard.
When was the last time you heard anyone in the audience at one of these award shows?
They don't even mic the audience.
I bet they had a mic on him.
I would not be surprised if they mic'd him up just in case.
All right, guys, here our comedy show dates in less than 30 seconds.
I got a new one.
We just added Nashville, Tennessee, coming to Zaney's March 20th through the 21st.
Very excited to come out there, do some new stuff.
March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island.
May 8th, Los Angeles.
August 8th, Halifax, Nova Scotia.
All those shows at theandrewSchultz.com.
Dead ass.
What are you doing if you're sitting next to him?
Yeah.
And he just yells at everyone, turns around.
And they're looking at, they don't know who said it.
You start pointing fast.
That's like those twin NBA players, and one of them was gay.
Remember the Collins brothers?
Yeah, that's a tricky.
What do you do?
You act offended when he just yells it?
He yells it.
Everyone looks back and go, Who said it?
And then, what?
Do you sell him out?
You sell the guy with a disability?
Yeah.
What do you do?
God, I'm selling him out.
Immediately.
Yeah.
You go, right here.
He did it.
He did it.
Okay.
I don't even know what I would do in that situation, Mark.
That is terrifying.
I couldn't be offended.
What would you do?
I was right crying.
There we go.
In solidarity.
You would cry in solidarity.
Yeah, during Black History Month.
Would you cover his mouth?
Would you put your hand over his mouth and put him on a chokehold, dude?
Would you?
Yes, dude.
Yes, it's Black History Month.
I'm not going to let him yell that.
You can't harm the disabled.
I'm not going to harm him, dude.
What are the.
Also, also, the no harming the disabled is the physically, right?
Disabled.
Hold on.
No, like, if you're someone who's battling, like, just you yell things, you can still fight that person.
That's not.
No, it's uncontrollable.
Yeah, but if they're a jerk when they mean to be.
I'm still not.
I'm still not 100%.
Black people don't believe it.
Black people don't believe it.
You're like a truther for Tourette's.
It's interesting.
He is Tourette's.
If he said anything else, like if it was fucking like Simulu up there accepting it for like the Five Rings movie or whatever that was.
Asian accent.
Duck sauce or whatever.
Like there's no.
Do you think that?
Do you think the black community would be as enraged by it?
Or would they be like, yeah, we got to find someone with Tourette's, bro.
This motherfucker is crazy.
Leave him to the crew.
We need black people with Tourette's.
We don't get no shows or anything like that.
That would be fake.
Do they make black people with Tourette's?
I don't know.
I don't think we come in Tourette's.
Hmm.
Maybe not yet.
Maybe you guys are still getting on it.
See, we got to hop off to the bandwidth.
Can we find a black guy with Tourette's on that?
That's why you know it's fake.
I saw a guy who was to do like an Instagram.
I think his name is Does the Animals?
No.
Oh.
No, no.
Wait, why?
What?
Is it Black Dude with Autism?
Does the Animals?
No, not autism.
He had this guy has Tourette's.
That was low.
That was crazy.
How's that crazy?
Black dudes animals?
Like, that was, that was.
What is animal sounds?
He does perfect animals.
Did you just have Tourette's or something?
Wait, yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
Yeah, I had Tourette's.
Yeah, yeah.
Gonna have Joe Free.
Yo, that is it.
Yeah.
No, no.
Where did your brain go?
Why did your brain jump to that?
Because I thought you were talking about a black dude with a disability that's very fun and awesome on the internet.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
And so I was going to throw it in there.
Maybe we're going to, I was going to algorithm you.
Do you know who has Tourette's?
Yeah, this is the guy, New York City Public Defender, I think his name.
And he was talking about it.
But he was talking about it because he has it, but then he didn't have any ticks during it.
Oh.
Yeah, that can happen.
But also can happen.
Maybe he edited it out.
It's a tragic.
Now, you told me that there was an edit made to this, and this was not the edit.
Well, that I think is ultimately where the blame should lie.
I don't think we need to blame a disabled guy for having a tick.
I also don't think we should blame these guys for being offended if they were offended.
Yep.
I think ultimately it falls on the BBC.
Big Black Hawk?
Nope.
The British broadcast.
What is that?
Was that another thing he yelled at Derner?
Oh, this is a British thing?
Yeah.
The BAFTA?
Why do we care about this?
I thought this was like a Black American Film and Television Association.
I thought it was like BET.
Yeah.
I thought it was BET.
What did you guys think it was?
Nah, bro.
I thought it was Black American Film and Television Association, and that's why I thought there was a big deal.
You got a white guy here trying to give him an award, make him feel inclusive, and he's yelling the N-word at the Black Award show.
You thought they had Alan coming to the BET awards?
He's gay.
I don't know.
He's gay.
The gays, they do beat.
Gays can do whatever.
They're totally falling around.
We'll get Alan coming.
Gays are like whatever the blood is, we could all use.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, it's still known wherever.
It's a universal donor.
They do need some old blood.
God.
Damn.
Al, Tourettes, Al.
You have Tourette's.
Judge them when our whole show is Tourette's.
The basis of our show is Tourette's syndrome.
What you feel, you say.
Yes.
Yes.
Now, if you were at the BAFTA Awards and you were sitting next to this guy and he yelled it, would you take responsibility?
Would you say you own it?
It was me.
Guys, it was me.
Would you bail him out if you were his homie?
No.
I'm clutching my pearls.
I'm selling it.
How the fuck did he not like Sue in?
I'm getting your best friend.
Yeah, your best friend.
Okay.
Yeah, I didn't know that it was a British thing.
Okay.
That's now you don't give a fuck.
Well, no, it's like, did they even use that word over there?
I thought that was our word.
Like, don't they have their own word?
Well, that's the crazy part.
He's Scottish screaming it.
Oh, don't bring that in.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't bring in being Scottish.
Oh, it's our fault.
Oh, it's our fault.
My people are sheep fuckers.
Yeah, exactly.
That hurt.
Tourette's now.
Just in defense of sheep shagging, if there was an animal that you were going to do it to, I think it's undeniably the sheep.
Cheeky.
Very cheeky.
Caked up crazy.
You've seen those videos of the wagon just whipping back and forth.
Right?
And it's got a built-in washcloth.
Yeah.
What about damn, this is going to be rough?
What about the orangutans with the fat pussy on it?
Holy shit.
Well, yo, man.
Hey, Tourette.
Tourette's.
Tourette's.
I got to block myself from whatever Al says in the rest of the episode.
This shield is here.
Tourette's Al's Tourette's.
No, we've seen it.
Pull up with Alice.
Tourette's.
Pull up with Also, which I fully disagree with.
Rather, I'll reserve judgment until I see it.
Gavin Trying To Talk Hood00:15:22
Good God, Al.
Yeah, also, why you brought up the youngest sheep possible?
Like, bring up some young people.
I know, Joey.
Also, you with lambs?
You would have been J-Mail for the last two weeks.
Nah, bro.
That's nice.
That's my shit.
There it is.
That's so much shit.
Look at that Maui sheet with the BBL.
Yeah, why are they brushing it like that?
They know what they're doing.
Look at them.
They know what they're doing, bro.
That's too youthful.
Yeah, that's too much.
Why are they smacking it like that?
You gotta let them grow.
That's lamb chops.
You need to let that thing grow, little bit.
Joey, take this fucking video off the screen.
What the hell?
All right, let's see.
Oh, that's what you want more than anything.
Al, that's.
Al.
Al, that one got three kitties.
That's a good point.
That's one better than what I use.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, I'll tell you.
Al, you got to stand on this, bro.
No, we need 20 toes down.
Find a wallet.
Final wallet.
Stand on it.
Final wallet.
That's what you.
That's what you want.
Al, that shit look like tobacco.
That's an old prune, bro.
That's in a first baseman's lips.
How?
That's what you're desiring over some nice sheep.
That looks like Alex's elbow, bro.
That's crazy.
You can't let that happen, dude.
This whole thing's making me uncomfortable.
Yeah.
They got moisturizing.
I'll go home tonight and just fucking teapo.
Come on.
I can't believe you brought that up.
Yo, you're wild for that.
Al, when did this even come on your screen that you've been thinking about to see where the eyebrows went?
It was Tourette's.
It was Tourette's.
You were by yourself looking at the internet, man.
Look at her tearing that thing open.
Nah.
Got a twig in there.
Watching Animal Planet is okay.
Damn.
Miles had to take the long way back.
Miles still wanted nothing to do with it.
I need to walk.
I need to walk.
Ew!
Top left.
Ew.
Don't click it.
Don't click it.
All right.
What's she screaming right there?
Myway.
Point is, point is, point is, is that even Gavin Newsom has Tourette's moments.
I think we can acknowledge that as a group, as a family.
Yes.
Al, this is.
I've been waiting.
I didn't watch it because I want to have an honest reaction.
Oh, we can pull it up.
Yeah.
So Gavin Newsom is in a little bit of trouble because he was speaking in Atlanta and he was doing a traditional politician pander tactic.
Yeah, you guys really love this video.
What you love about it, Simon?
I mean, it's pretty funny.
Yeah.
This is the next president of the United States.
It's pretty funny.
Oh, okay.
Let's see.
Let's see.
I'm going to impress upon you, I'm like you.
I'm no better than you.
You know, I'm a 960 SAT guy.
And, you know, and I'm not trying to offend anyone, you know, trying to act all there if you got 940.
But literally a 960 SAT guy.
I cannot, you've never seen me read a speech because I cannot read a speech.
Maybe the wrong business to be in.
I mean, dude.
Now, we should say he has a disability.
He's dyslexic.
Yeah, I'm making fun of him.
He's a disability.
Okay.
Which I think makes this more offensive.
Because he's like, I have a disability, which makes me dumb.
But you guys are just dumb.
Hey, I'm just like you because I have a mental condition that's tough from being able to read and do math.
So that's why I got a 960 on my SAT.
Bro, it's so bad.
I hate when politicians try to black it up.
Like even the way he's speaking and the mannerisms, like, why are you doing that?
I hate this shit.
Wait, did you feel that he was trying to black it up?
I love it.
Oh, I didn't get that.
Like, when he talked to the crowd, he's like, start it from the very beginning.
See if there's any the very beginning of the video because you missed his first line.
I'm not, you know, I'm not trying to impress you.
I'm just trying to impress upon you.
Pause.
Bam, bam, bam.
That's kind of what the bar was.
Yeah, secret bar.
I can respect where he respects.
Dude, I was kind of.
There you go.
He did rap a little bit.
I'm not trying to impress him.
I'm not trying to press you.
I'm trying to press up.
It's upon you.
I said that to a bitch one day.
I was pressing up all there that night.
Jesus.
Al.
Stop talking about fornicating, man.
You got a fiancé, bro.
Son, it's my pass.
Nah, bro.
We don't bring up our past on this podcast, you know?
Yeah.
We don't.
We never talk about that, though.
We never talk about that, bro.
Let's forward it.
Al, you were making a point.
You don't like it when white politicians tend to black it up.
Is that the term?
Or urban it up.
Perform for black people.
Got it.
Like, just be yourself.
We respect it more.
And why do you think that they think that that works?
I honestly don't know.
Maybe it does.
Or maybe they think it does.
I honestly don't know.
Now, in Newsome Defense right there, again, maybe I'm not the target demo for this, but I didn't feel like he was really doing that.
Doing what?
Like trying to talk hood or like.
Keep playing just a little bit more.
Like once he starts talking to the crowd.
I'm like you.
I'm no better than you.
You know, I'm a 960 SAT guy.
And, you know, and I'm not trying to offend anyone, you know, trying to act all there if you got nine.
I'm not trying to hack all there.
There's also like it's a little bit different.
There's a clip of him today with Ursher.
And he's emoting.
Okay, go.
He's hitting the emotes big time.
It's also just kind of hilarious.
Like, Newsom just doesn't have any clue.
Like, I think if the idea is that he's in Atlanta, right?
This is, I don't even know if the crowd is super diverse.
I think people are kind of making some guesses about that.
It might not just be black people.
And I think maybe that's what the internet is running with.
So maybe that's not fair.
But like the assumption, let's say, well, so let's say it is like the assumption that the SAT score is about, I think black women are like the most highly educated group in America, like percentage-wise.
Do you know what I mean?
So this idea, it's like that's how he's connecting.
It's like, you're actually connecting the wrong way.
Yeah.
Like you should be like, yeah, I went to college.
I furthered my education like all of you guys do.
I want to show that I know this about you.
But the opposite.
He's like, hey, we can't read, right?
I mean, it's just bad.
And then he's hanging with usher trying to.
All right, let's see that.
You tell me if I'm reading into this.
Look at it.
That was like...
With the hand, watch the hand.
Fuck out of here.
Come on.
Can a white boy have some motion?
Because he was like trying to give dad.
He wasn't sure if he was going.
So then he's like, can a white boy have some motion, though?
He don't got motion, though.
He don't.
So just be yourself.
Yo, can I just say this, though, is that code switching is kind of awesome.
Code switching is kind of fun.
Thank you.
A little.
Thank you.
Finally.
A little.
Keep going.
Finally.
You go to Japan.
Okay.
And all of a sudden you start talking a little Japanese.
You want to be offensive, but it just kind of just seeps in a little bit.
I 100% would do that.
It was the only way I could get the cab drivers to know where we were going.
I would say where we were going in English in their accent.
That shit don't work.
Al, it does not work.
I swear to God, I swear to God in my life, it works 100% of the time.
You know why it worked?
Because you entered the address in Uber and it already knew where you were going.
They didn't have Uber when I was there.
You go there, like a guy comes in a taxi and like picks you up and takes you where it is.
And if the guy at the hotel doesn't tell him, you got to tell him.
And I would fucking tell him.
I would do it.
Don't ask him how to do it.
I would do it every single time.
Don't know.
I kind of want to know.
You can't.
Because Japanese is different from Chinese.
It's very different.
But it's actually the same way.
It might be Makadunu.
That's what he was E?
Mekadunu.
See?
That'll be easy for him to go.
If we're going shopping, whatever it is, I would say the place and I would say it in a Japanese accent.
And 100% of the time it works.
I hated that they rewarded my racism.
I didn't want to be racist.
I tried to say it in English.
Disgusted you.
It disgusted me.
I was repulsed by it.
But I still had to get my wife to these places that she desperately wants to go to.
Arcade.
Arcade.
Why are you going to arcade?
Shibuya.
Shiboya.
Crossing.
Shibuya.
Crossing.
That one is a Japanese.
That one's in your good.
Shibuya.
Crossing.
That one's fine.
Shifty's leaving.
We're insulting this anime.
We're insulting the anime people.
He's like, you go to France.
Yeah.
All of a sudden you talk to like a little French accent.
You do some.
What's this?
That's a French tongue.
I've never seen them go.
You just, you do a little bit of it.
I agree with this.
I'm not saying it's right.
It might not even be ethical.
It's high-level communication.
It's what smart people do to communicate in the world that they live in.
Okay, that's going to be.
Wait a minute.
He might be honest.
It just is fun to code switch.
It's why I appreciate Southerners so much.
Southerners refuse to code switch.
So now you're saying the opposite of what you just.
Yes, that's the pod.
People with a southern accent, people with a southern accent cannot change their accent.
They cannot do a New York accent.
They cannot do a California accent.
They are locked in to that Southern draw.
There's nothing they can do about it.
Name one.
More Wallen.
He busted it out.
Oh, no, that was a Southern.
That was a Southern N-word.
Yeah, you know it.
Technically, that's their word.
Yeah.
I feel like, if anything, he went back to his roots.
He calls a country terrestrial.
Have you heard a Southern guy start talking like Northeast?
No.
Haven't done it.
Can't do it.
Northeast folks go down South all of a sudden.
We're saying y'all a little bit more.
Like saying a little y'all.
Y'all.
Down South.
Sub, y'all.
I tried, but nah.
Because being from New York is a shit.
Yeah, of course.
Every place is awesome.
I ain't trying to be like these fucking French?
French.
I miss it.
I did miss it.
That was very good.
But that's just the only thing in defense of Gavin.
But it is very corny when he's doing it because it's one thing to code switch a little.
It's another thing to be like, yo, I'm black, dude.
I financed a Hellcat.
Don't say that shit.
That's where it's bad.
Hey, what made you come up with that example?
Well, it was one, it was a funny tweet that I saw.
And two, it's like he's trying to commiserate on the bad stereotypes.
Yeah, I'm like, you guys, I can't read.
Yeah, I know.
He's like, what?
If he was like, yo, I'm like you guys, I like.
Let's go back to that Hellcat comment.
I know, right?
Well, there's a stereotype within the black community that a lot of black rappers specifically love Hellcats.
Is that right?
Yeah.
I don't know why.
Yeah, exactly.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, I think it's a southern thing.
Yeah.
What are they?
Cyber trucks up here?
Actually, yeah, he and Yay-Yo got one.
No way.
Let's go.
But yeah, y'all people, you know.
Yeah.
Y'all people.
Southerners.
Anyway, do we forgive him?
Do we forgive Gavin, our next president?
He just got to cut it out.
Do you think he's winning?
Too early to tell.
I'm still thinking AOC.
What's up with John Osif?
Watch John Ossif come out of nowhere.
White Obama.
It's white Obama.
Stop it.
He got the look.
He got the hair.
He's slender.
He's from the South.
He's from the South.
He knows some tough guys.
Chicago.
What?
Say again?
Obama was from Chicago.
We're saying John Osip.
No, but if you're a white guy, you got to be from the South.
Oh, because the only way to make the Republicans feel comfy.
Like Tallarico is a Democrat, but he knows Christianity better than any of his competitors, so he can evoke that in his messaging.
Okay.
That's incredibly effective.
Okay.
Wasn't Clinton from the South?
Of course.
Maybe Carter's from the South.
Come on.
Like white daddy.
You need to go.
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't know that.
I mean, Biden got the cosign from Barack, you know, which maybe got him over to Hump.
But it's hard to be a...
It's hard out here for whites from the North, bro.
It's a hard out for these Northern whites, man.
To win a fucking presidency?
So John Austin, why John Austin?
It's so hard.
Why are you talking at FCC?
It's so hard for Trump to do it twice.
Son, it's so hard.
These whites never win a fucking election.
Can you mean one white person that's won multiple elections from the north?
Yo, did you know the Bushes are from Ohio?
Yeah.
And then they're in Texas.
They kind of fake the Texas thing a little bit.
Oh, really?
Don't fall for it, Al.
Oh, so he's just pretending to be a retard?
Type shit.
That was offensive.
I hope Leslie Wexner handles you.
I hope Leslie Wexner handles you.
Oh, it's a Texas out of Connecticut.
What's Calci got Kevin?
Gavin Newsomat?
See, he's up.
28%.
28% trending down.
AOC trending up 10%.
I'm telling you, AOC.
John Ossif at 7%.
Watch for Ossif.
Oh, Kamala, 7%.
If Kamala does it, runs it back.
Yeah, she probably got it this time.
No, she probably got it.
I didn't Kamala got it this time.
What do you got to think?
If she speaks up, I think she has a chance.
Really?
Yeah.
If she speaks up, because she was like held back by Biden.
Oh, yeah.
But she speaks up.
I think that was the issue.
She was a loyal person and loyal to a fault.
So now she got to stand up on her own tooth.
Tell us what she really feels.
She feels.
And I think maybe, you know, it might be different.
I think that, yeah, I think it was just Biden.
I think it was just Biden holding her back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that was probably it.
It was just Biden holding that.
You know?
It's always a white man.
It's always the white man.
Not funding turning Gaza into a parking lot.
That probably has nothing to do with it.
It's probably Biden or those podcast guys.
Yeah.
It's probably those podcast guys.
Yeah, she should have came.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing to do with what Gaza looks like at all and having no opinions about it.
That's probably the podcast guys.
Stop Hair Loss Before It Happens00:02:44
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Women's Hockey Team Money Matters00:14:51
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Now, let's get back to the show.
Can we talk about the Olympics a little bit?
Yes.
And how quickly it just became culture war.
How annoying is this?
Yeah.
I mean, isn't the Olympics always culture war?
No, like the idea with sports is that you can like put certain things aside.
Yes, it is in terms of like historically, but it's often like geopolitical culture war, right?
It's like America versus this country that we were either at war with or we're about to go to war with or we're at war with in the past.
Okay.
And now it feels like it's like internal struggle, right?
So tell me about that.
I didn't see that.
I literally see everybody saying, oh, Canada's like our dicks.
Yeah.
I mean, we beat Canada in hockey.
Far, you know, which is, I mean, I've been a huge hockey fan my whole life.
So this is a huge fan.
This is a big deal to me.
Yo, you guys are going crazy in the group chat.
And I was like, so then I jumped, I was in bed with my wife and I jumped up and I threw my hat.
And my wife was looking at me like, you've never watched a hockey match in my entire life.
And I'm like, I know, but America won.
And I know how much Canada wanted it.
And we snatched that bitch out of there.
And it was, and low-key, and I don't want to take anything away from the U.S. team, but like it wasn't looking great.
No.
Like, I watched the game.
Oh, we were down?
No, we weren't down.
We were up, actually.
And they just had a lot of opportunities.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Canada had a lot.
They played fucking great.
I mean, the Americans are dogs.
I don't want to be having this take right now.
I want to come out here and be like, yo, we fucking dog walk them.
They're a bunch of pussies.
They suck, whatever.
But like, Canada played fucking great.
The U.S. played amazing.
One way to say is that the goalie played lights out.
Nah, the goalie was amazing, this guy.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And they were all at 11 last night.
They're probably still there.
The flight got diverted to the best city to fuck pussy on the plate.
And the beauty.
Beautiful thing about hockey guys is like they're not so famous that people know what they look like.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So they have the money of an athlete.
They have like the puck chasers or whatever the girls are.
And then the prestige, if you just flash the medal, you're like, oh, that's one guy.
That's what the hoes are called?
Puck chasers?
I don't know.
What is it?
Puck bunnies.
Puck bunnies or whatever.
They got tons of nicknames, but they also have the anonymity.
You know what I mean?
They could operate in the world in a very different way.
Like they'll be at, they could go to a strip club.
LeBron can't really go to a strip club.
Yeah.
Right?
Gotcha.
Okay.
So it's like, they're the most fun athletes to party with because they can actually party.
What's their stature?
Like, are they typically tall or are they?
Some of the guys are tall, but some of the guys are kind of regular height.
Because I had no idea.
They're stocking.
They're sturdy.
They're real stars.
But they're not like big, muscular guys up here.
It doesn't require big muscles.
Like legs, yeah.
Anyway, I'm talking about my ass.
I don't know shit about hockey, but this is just from like talking to some guys.
And like, so the guy, Jack Hughes, is 5'11.
So they kind of look like regular guys.
Okay.
Right.
And he's my height.
Yeah.
I guess.
Yeah, is your heart, yeah?
Yeah, keep going.
Keep going.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You escaped on me.
Exactly.
Anyway, so they're the most fun athletes.
Like they can actually get after and party.
And so they're just at 11 just going fucking berserk last night because the flight got diverted.
Isn't that what a horrible thing?
There's a snowstorm.
We just got to go to Miami.
It's the only place.
They should celebrate, though.
Yeah.
Kash Patel hooked it up.
It's a snowstorm on the flight for sure.
Howard.
The Kash Patel thing is so annoying because it's just like, can you just let them have a victory?
You know, the second you, it's so selfish.
Like, the second you insert yourself in the room, it becomes culture war.
Yeah.
And it's like, let America have this great victory.
These guys play their fucking asses off.
It's a dream win for the men's and the women's team.
If you're in the locker room drinking beers because you're a big hockey fan, it's this completely selfish endeavor that puts these guys under the microscope.
Right?
Like instead of being somebody we could all celebrate, if they're treating Cash as if he's like one of the guys, now everybody just goes, look at these pieces of shit, not judging Kash Patel for being there and all the things that he's been supporting.
It's just like, just stay the fuck out of it.
You just stay the fuck out of it.
He's corny, bro.
Who cash?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're saying the guy who wanted to be the FBI director is corny.
You're saying the guy who wanted to spy on people for a living is not a cool guy.
I'm really, I just don't like this.
He's always, he, he wants too much attention.
Like, just be behind shit and lock up criminals.
Yeah.
Also, I don't like them having a life.
Yeah.
Like anybody that like has like little hobbies and shit.
Like I don't really got enough time to be part of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be respectful.
Do that shit in private like on Epstein Thailand or something like that.
But like there was an island.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to see that shit.
Yeah.
There was an island where they couldn't have fun, the elites without the judgment.
There you go.
So maybe if we were a little bit more open about their partying, then they wouldn't feel the need to do that.
He said he wasn't over there for the Olympics.
He said he had other business to handle.
Oh, yeah.
What was that?
Not the Olympics.
Whatever you think it is.
It was not the Olympics.
He had to be in Milan to go do other FBI work.
Oh, he was.
Was his girlfriend doing some country performance in Italy or some shit?
You know, she's a touring act guy.
What would the FBI have to do in another country?
Well, I've heard both things on this.
That's what's so annoying.
People are like, no, dude, the FBI has to be there in order to protect the Americans in an official capacity.
That's the CIA.
Yeah.
FBI is America.
And then they're like, no, he wasn't even there for the Olympics.
He was just there to.
My man, just say you like hockey, just don't be in the locker room and then put these guys through it because these guys are dealing with it now.
Right?
It's like.
And the other corny thing, fucking Trump on the phone, he's like, you guys are coming to the White House and, you know, I gotta invite the women too, you know, so I don't get impeached.
Some shit like that.
He said some bullshit about not wanting to have the women there.
And I'm like, yo, they won gold too.
Let me tell you something.
I thought it was America first.
No, no, no.
You fucking cried for a sport you don't give a fuck about.
You're not.
Let me tell you something.
First of all, don't ever say I don't care about hockey.
The second of all, if it was like the Netherlands speed skating women's team, they would be invited to the White House.
I promise you.
Nah, they're too old.
Come on now.
Come on, man.
I'm just saying, maybe the hockey girls aren't from style.
Can we play what he said?
Because I'm trying to figure out if it was a joke.
Like, he should have said it as the president.
But is he being silly?
Yeah, he's fucking joking around.
Why actually I give him it out?
You shouldn't say it.
It's so corny.
I just want to hear it.
I haven't heard yet.
And we have to, I must tell you, we have to bring the women's team.
You do know that.
Pause.
Pause.
A lot of people are going to talk about how they're laughing at the joke, but there's some guys in the background going two for two.
I don't know if you saw that.
Yeah.
So they're not like, oh, don't bring them.
They're proud that U.S. hockey went two for two.
Yeah, they tried to turn him trying to shit on the women into a positive.
Regardless if they're trying to turn it or not, clearly the guys have been very supportive.
I just hate how like we bring athletes into this.
We put them in these positions and then we drag them through the culture war.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not mad at the athletes.
Like, I'm at a Trump at putting them in that position.
Yes, and that's the same thing with Patel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, because apparently the U.S. men's hockey team has been very supportive and like stoked about the women's hockey gold.
And like, that is the idea.
We should all just come together and be like, hey, this is American excellence.
America loves American excellence.
We run on American excellence.
This is an incredible thing and amazing accomplishments and we love it.
And unfortunately.
Every one of these athletes gets just jammed through this culture war microscope and it's so exhausting.
It's like, just let them have their fucking one.
They're kids.
They're kids.
They really don't know much probably about the world.
They've dedicated their entire life to these obscure sports.
Like we're asking them geopolitical questions like they've, they're aware.
None of them go to college.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, we don't know that.
Yes, we do.
Yeah.
These are, these are elite athletes that have been plucked since they're fucking 12 years old or maybe even younger and then put on track to go represent either the United States or, you know, the interests of like teams within the United States.
That's so funny.
I look at hockey hockey players.
I'm like, I'm just a bunch of firemen that decided to skate for a weekend.
He's like, nobody plays this shit.
It's just called the dads getting together and shit.
Yeah, maybe that is like maybe.
Why don't these teenagers know more about the world?
Why don't these teenagers have stronger opinions about what's happening?
He should have made the joke as the president.
But if Kamala, as the vice president, called the women's team, it was like, by the way, we have to invite the boys.
It would be a little different, I feel like.
Of course.
Bars.
Like, it's a locker room joke, pun intended, which I think is an approach for the president, but it's also kind of like, all right, he's fucking around.
I get it.
But the list of things that we could be frustrated about.
The list of things we could be frustrated about, this isn't even on it.
Like, this isn't even on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I'm not caring about this.
It's just corny.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, that's all I'm saying.
Yeah, sure.
And now, like you said, it's turning into a culture war because now the girls are like, oh, we're not even going to the White House.
They're saying no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is his way of getting out of it.
You think this is how he decided?
Okay.
Nah.
I'm curious about the what did you guys think about the Eileen Gu Alyssa Liu?
Yeah.
What do you think about this storyline?
It's been quite interesting.
Yeah, people are comparing them, which is interesting.
Yeah.
They're both half American, half Chinese.
Born and raised in America.
Born and raised in America.
Both of them.
And Alyssa competes for the United States in figure skating.
And Eileen competes in freestyle skiing for China.
And she chose, I think, last Olympics to decide to compete for China.
Yeah, I think it was like 2019 before the 2022 Olympics.
Yeah.
And she chose up to go compete for China and people were like, oh, well, she did it for money.
So it seems like the sports bureau in China like paid her a few mil, like it's like five or six mil or something like that.
Plus like all the endorsements in China.
It's really the endorsements and like opening up to that market.
I've looked for like confirmation that she got directly paid for them, paid by them by China, and I haven't really seen anything.
It's very plausible that she did.
But like, I think she's one of the highest paid athletes in the world.
And it's because of the endorsements.
Get the fuck out of here.
She's fucking everywhere in China.
Get the fucking.
So you say get the bag.
Get the bag.
Get the bag for, especially for Olympians.
Like they don't have that long and that many opportunities to compete.
She makes 20 million a year.
Yeah.
She might not have made that if she played for USA.
The question I have for you.
She's the hottest looking Chinese.
Bro, she is, she's like made in a lap.
Like we were joking about this last time, but she's, she's like Ivan Drago.
Like she is, she is perfect.
She's stunningly beautiful.
She's like a genius.
She went to Stanford.
She had like 1850 in her SATs or something.
She studied, and she didn't study like communications or something.
Yeah, she studied like well, you're working in it, but like, but like she studied like some like physics or something, like an actual that's like a seven walking down Soho.
She studied quantum physics, quantum physics, and then now was focused on international relations.
Makes sense, anyway.
So, yeah, she's like a supermodel.
She's an amazing athlete, the best in her field, maybe like the best in history and her discipline.
And, but she was born in America, raised in America, trained in America, like all the things that would lead her to supporting America.
Like, my feeling is like whatever country fed you, you got to represent them.
And if you don't make that team, then you could go to another one.
But, like, I don't think it should be okay for like one country to literally raise you up from the ground up.
And then, when it's time to compete, you go somewhere else.
What about with soccer?
Don't they do that shit a lot?
I don't believe that should be allowed.
Like, I think America took on a bunch of like half-American, half-German players because I think they were like born on American Navy bases or like military bases or whatever in Germany.
But I'm like, well, if you ate schnitzel and shit, you're a German.
Like, you got to play for that.
Like, whatever country feeds you and trains you, you got to play over there.
But it happens a lot.
There's like American dudes that are good at snowboarding, but they're not the best.
And then the Olympics rolls around.
They're like, oh, I can go make the team in Italy.
I'm saying if you can't make the team from your country of origin, then you could go for your other country.
So we're only mad at her because she's good.
Yeah.
So if she wasn't good, you wouldn't care.
Yeah, go to China and play.
I don't care.
100%.
Yeah, 100%.
Absolutely.
That's fair.
If you're not good enough to make the married team and you go somewhere else, great.
But we trained you.
Like a lot of money was spent raising these and creating the opportunities for these.
Her, her money.
Her family's money is not.
No, but when she's like a junior, I'm sure there's like junior Olympic committees and that kind of stuff that are like trying to bring up these athletes and make sure that they'll be successful.
Now you care about where your tax dollars go.
Now, caring about that every year.
But come on.
She gets to compete two, maybe three times.
Get the fucking bag.
You work your whole life.
You still competing.
You're still the best in the world.
Whether or not whatever team you play for, you're still doing the same thing.
I'm proven I'm the best at this thing.
All right.
So when so when Judas took the bag to are you cool with that?
Well Judas took the bag.
I don't know this story.
Yeah, it's about can you break down this story, Mark?
You might be able to share more details than I basically Judas betrays Jesus Christ and tells the Roman authorities where he is.
He took the bag.
It's the bag.
That's to get somebody killed.
How many waiting?
How many opportunities is Judas going to have to get the bag?
Son, this is a hobby.
She's just skating around some ice.
Ski is life, he loves hockey.
Ski is life.
Okay.
He's obsessed.
100%.
I'm telling you, man.
And we still, didn't we aren't?
Didn't we win the whole shit?
Judas Betrayal And The Bag00:15:07
No, Norway did.
But so we beat China.
True.
So fuck her.
But she did kind of sell out.
She sold out.
Why can't we be critical of Reggie College?
Talking about selling out.
Get the fuck out of here.
So here's the question.
Yo, go back to your country.
I don't know if she shouldn't sell out.
I don't know if it's unethical, but she did sell out.
Would she go if it wasn't for the bag?
If we offered the same bag, would she go?
You don't know.
If we offer $1 more, yes.
She would go to America.
She would stay here.
So then it's just the bag.
Kid, I'm mad at that.
But you're okay with that.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm cool with that.
But I think everyone would kind of do that.
This nigga.
Come on.
If the Scottish government goes to fucking government, says, yo, Schultzy, I'm Scottish.
Yeah.
You can become a Scottish citizen really easily.
Yeah.
You are ethnically Scottish.
Yeah.
You get to compete in the paddle world championships representing Scotland.
Am I the best in America?
Sure.
Not a chance.
And you're going to get paid $57 million.
Nope.
Any chance to represent America, any chance to represent America over another country I'm taking.
There's not a single thing that you could convince me to do otherwise.
100%.
If you weren't so calm, I'm upset.
I wish somebody could offer him some shit.
I would switch up so I'm upset.
I didn't join the army, bro.
I'm upset I didn't join the army, bro.
I'm upset.
How many rhymes are you going to tell?
One of the greatest regrets in my life I didn't join the army, man.
It's one of the greatest regrets in my life.
I wish I did.
Bang, bang.
I didn't get to bang out on motherfuckers, bro.
I had a chance.
I'm too old.
My feet are too flat.
But I could have banged out all these motherfuckers.
I'm sick of tired of being sick of tired.
It was not too late.
You could be ice right now.
They raised the age.
They taking free tests.
They taking flats.
They're taking every single shit.
You can be ice right now.
That's different.
47 days of training.
That's different.
That's different.
What war would you have been in?
Afghanistan?
You would have been sent to Afghanistan.
I would probably have gone to all of them.
What year do you graduate from?
I would have gone to all of them.
I would have been in any war available.
They graduated in 2001 or 2002 or some shit.
Bro, he would have been the first boots on the ground, 03.
In Fallujah.
Hallelujah.
Miss your boy.
You would have been in red for Streppo.
I'm in there.
I'm in there.
I'm diffusing bombs.
I'm a sniper.
My hands shake too much for the sniper, but I'd probably find a way to be good out of there.
The bottom is you, the red wire.
You got the red one.
I don't think they would let you serve food, bro.
Nah.
I'm not trying to serve food.
They would let you do the salt shaker and that's it.
I could do the salt shaker.
That's the only thing.
I would do the salt shaker.
I'd do whatever my country needs of me.
What an honor to represent your country.
I ain't going there.
You're a Judas.
He's telling jokes to all the fucking army guys.
I would keep up morale.
I would keep up morale.
That's what we need that.
You need a blue guy.
You need a glue route.
I'd be the guy with the flute at the front of the army.
Google?
Yeah, what is it?
The hornman.
I need hornman.
The horn.
I mean, hornman.
You need a horn man so everybody knows which way we're going.
Exactly.
What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, I would have been in there, guys.
The greatest honor.
Do you guys not feel ashamed that you didn't get to represent your country?
No.
Not at all.
Really?
Not at all.
Oh, man.
What branch would you go into?
What branch of horn?
No.
What branch?
I mean, my dad was in the orchestra.
I'd probably go.
I do orchestra in the army.
No, my dad was in the army, so I do army.
No, I don't.
I don't.
I would do service in America.
Yeah, that'd be fine.
Coast Guard?
Coast Guard could be cool.
Which conflict during your lifetime that you would have been proud to fight?
China.
He never went there, bro.
I'd be the first.
Let me at him.
Hey, let me at him.
Let me at him, though.
Let me at him.
Hey, hey, Petraeus.
Hey, Petraeus.
Listen, y'all got the Browns covered over there.
Let me go over there and handle that.
But you're afraid of this.
I'm not parachuting.
How'd he get in?
I'd be on the other side of that great wall telling him, I dare y'all step over that shit.
Hey, I dare y'all step up.
If you step over, see what the fuck happens.
This is Mongolia, property of the United States of America.
Okay, I'm the king of Mongolia now.
No, that's what I would do.
It's the greatest honor in the world to represent your country.
I literally Googled.
I was like, is there like an old people Olympics?
I'm like, I might try this shit just so I can represent the United States of America.
You should.
Dead ass.
If they bring paddle to it, if they got paddle and they have an old Olympics, I'm in there.
Because all the best players aren't from here.
I would cheat.
I just want to let you guys know.
I would cheat for America.
How?
Oh.
In whatever way possible.
National Senior Games, often called the Senior Olympics, is a major biennial multi-sport job.
Multi-sport event in U.S. athletes in age 50 and older.
Okay, so I got eight years of training promoting active aging and camaraderie.
That's what I'm doing.
You could do para.
Mark, Mark, you're being rude right now.
You're being rude right now.
I'm saying, you said you would cheat.
Yo, low-key.
You said you would cheat.
Low-key, I don't think like there is a way to make the Olympics.
Like, if you are committed, you could chop some shit off.
Like, if you want to, if you want to be on, if you want to represent your country.
Bro, you could do both.
You can go in the military and then pair it back to back.
Wait a minute.
Think about that.
All your life's regrets, dude.
I could do it.
You could serve our nation and represent America.
I wonder if we change the age of the army shit now that it's drone warfare.
Oh, lower it.
No, it raises it up because if I'm a half-15-year-old, but the kids, it's the nicest ones on a video game.
Yeah, but I could do that.
Come on.
No, you don't think I could do that?
Come on, Al.
Look at that.
Oh, a Russian.
You don't think I could do that?
You can put on Twitch.
I could definitely do that.
I might start playing Call of Duty right now.
Tis the train?
Yeah, white ops.
That's what they call it.
That's what they call his Call of Duty outside.
Exactly.
During this month, white ops.
No, but for real, you guys don't feel that patriotism coursing through your veins?
You don't want to represent your country?
Not for foreign intervention, but maybe something here.
Well, that's why sports is great.
Yeah, that would be cool.
It would be cool to represent America, of course.
Or represent New York.
But that's part of her heritage.
You're going to represent New York.
I would love to represent New York within America and then America outside of America.
I mean, that's a dream.
I would do New York out there.
You're point guarded the Knicks.
Imagine you're point guarded to the New York Knicks, but you're also from here.
And you take your team to a championship to give that joy to that many people.
And you serve?
And I serve four years.
100%.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Guys, are you kidding me?
Like, I'll be honest with you.
You're kind of Forrest Gunner.
You're a strong Forrest Gump friend.
That's my hero.
I have AIDS.
That's my hero.
Nero Jenny did.
He was so nice, he evaded it.
He was plugging a girl with AIDS and didn't get it.
He goes, God, how amazing would my life be, bro, if I served in the military, came back?
I was like fucking sport and became a military.
Greatest of all time.
Help my retarded black friend be the wealthy.
I opened a shrip.
I'm Lieutenant Danish.
No, for real, dude.
That is a dream.
Are you kidding me?
What an honor to represent your country.
The greatest country in the world.
Yo, goo, get your buddy up.
You ironically described Forrest Gump.
How is Forrest Gump not the greatest human being that's ever existed, bro?
What are I doing?
The guy got a 960 on his SAT, man.
He can't read just like you.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Look at Mark and Lieutenant Dan.
Oh, shit.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
What would his lines be?
Mom always said life was like a bacon, egg, and cheese.
Yeah.
Life is like a chopped cheese.
Yeah.
The bodega is like a box of chocolates.
100%.
It's a lot of genuine.
You need genius.
You can be a Dominican woman in this situation.
Yo.
Out of New York.
I can't believe that you guys don't have patriotism coursing through your veins, dude.
You would have met JFK.
That's fire.
I can't believe it.
You let the communists win, huh?
So you hate America now?
You fucking hate America, dude?
That's what it is?
She loves both of her sides.
There's no standard, though, because she'll talk shit about America.
And then they ask you about China.
She's like, no, I love it here.
It's great.
And doesn't talk shit about what's wrong about China.
All right.
Doesn't talk about the Chinese government at all, to my knowledge.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Sorry, Eileen.
But also, she won't say whether or not she renounced her U.S. citizenship.
And China doesn't allow dual citizenship.
So America allows it, but China doesn't.
So they won't exactly say what happened.
So in order to compete for a country, you need to be a citizen.
So it's very likely that China either made an exception for her or she renounced her U.S. citizenship.
Isn't that fire?
If China made an exception for her, that's pretty dope.
You getting China to do what you want.
That's kind of hard.
That's some American shit right there.
While she holds a Chinese passport to compete, she has never publicly affirmed she renounced her U.S. citizenship.
In ambiguity, noted because China does not officially allow dual citizenship.
Exactly.
Maybe she's a spy.
So, what do you mean, maybe?
No, for us.
Oh, Eileen.
Yeah, you see.
Eileen.
You trying to blow her shit?
Eileen, my bad.
Yeah.
Eileen, my bad.
This is all part of our design.
Come on.
We'll send one of our most brilliant students into China.
Dufiltrate all their systems.
Eileen, Eileen, shout out to you.
I don't even know if we should include this in the podcast.
We should include it.
I don't even know if we should include it because I don't want them to know.
Oh, my God.
Good job, Eileen.
Yeah.
All right.
But now, can we talk about Alyssa Liu?
Yeah.
From the Bay.
From the Bay.
This is really SF versus the Bay.
That's really what this is about.
Yo, talk that if you think about it.
Because we're all making it China versus America.
It is SF, Tech, Silicon Valley versus Oakland.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Her story's crazy.
Like, her dad was a political dissident.
Yes.
Needless to say.
I don't know exactly what he did.
I think he was involved in the planning of the Tiananmen Square.
On which side?
The good guys.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, he wasn't on.
Well, who's the good guy to you?
Oh, you go for the fucking communist.
And then so he dips out to America, has five kids by surrogate.
Yeah.
Is he the dude in front of the tank?
No, no, no, no.
That was no, no, no, no.
Might be Tank Man.
Oh, no, because I think Tank Man is part of the cement now.
Didn't they run his ass over?
I'm pretty sure he lived.
No, he got pulled away.
They never heard about him.
And he moved to America.
God, it could be.
And I think he specifically wanted a surrogate with a white woman for the max genetic diversity.
This guy's crazy.
I don't know if that's, can you confirm that?
That's crazy.
I'm pretty sure it's confirmed.
Oh, he ain't even fucked.
I don't think so.
He got an egg donor.
There's nothing wrong with that, Al.
Nothing wrong with creating a family without having sex with your wife to do it.
There's nothing wrong with letting doctors take you and your wife's reproductive parts and put the baby together without you.
Do you want to rephrase that?
No.
He wouldn't.
Anyway.
Yeah, he got a white donor.
Okay.
Egg white.
And he said he wanted to ensure a diverse gene pool.
And then married another Chinese woman, raised their kids in the Bay Area.
And yeah, made a champion.
Tiger Dad.
He got a white egg, but then married a Chinese lady.
Wow.
Exactly.
Wow, boy.
And then I think divorced her.
Wow.
Divorced her.
And then she's still kind of like the mom of the kids.
I don't know the exact situation.
Wild boy.
But yeah.
And then she becomes like a champion.
She's like the greatest ever at like 16 years old.
Wins world's total tiger dad.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Goes to the last Olympics.
I think she comes in like six or something like that, but she was like incredible.
And then maybe didn't do as well as maybe she thought or America would have hoped for her.
But at 16, she won like worlds or something.
I mean, she won like an amazing American honor as a figure skater.
And then did he choose the gender?
That's an interesting question.
Maybe that's why he moved out because he wanted a girl.
Doing the knowledge.
Doing the knowledge.
Come on, bro.
He's feminist.
At 18, she says, you know what?
This isn't making me happy.
I'm going to find myself.
And she's like the best, right?
She's like, at the end of the day.
She's our hope.
She's our hope in America.
She's a great half-white hope.
She's a great half-white hope.
Yeah, damn.
No, you do this.
Don't say white.
Don't say white.
No, no.
Yeah, I did it first.
You said we were claiming her.
Dog, you tried to claim her just now.
That is the whole age.
I don't care what fuck she has.
Dub and Tanya told us.
That Jack Hughes, the guy who scored the game-winning goal for the U.S. in the hockey finals, the speed in which they told us that he was Jewish was remarkable.
That was the first thing I found out about that.
Before the shot had entered the goal, there was already 40 Instagram cats.
It was like, first bot mitts for bar mitts for the kids to represent America.
I love how they waited until we won for that information.
Like, it was never in the beginning of the Olympics.
Like, we're really proud.
Okay, but she goes, it takes two years off.
And she's like, I'm just going to find myself.
Takes two years off.
This is a sport where like you cannot take days off, right?
Like it's insane competition.
You also have a small window.
It's not like 40-year-old women are winning figure skater, right?
Like with two years to go until this Olympics, I think, was it two years ago in this Olympics?
I think so.
Or something of that.
She basically goes.
Did she compete in the last one?
She did a little last one.
She takes two years off.
And then two years before that, she goes, you know what?
I think I found my love again for figure skating.
Maybe I want to try it again.
She goes, I'm going to choose my coaches.
My dad's not going to be part of it.
He's too tiger dad.
I'm going to do it my way.
I'm going to have fun with it.
And whatever happens, happens.
And they were like literally asking her questions.
She's like, are you nervous about what's going on?
She's like, no, I feel great.
Like, this is awesome.
Even being here is amazing.
And I'm going to do my best.
Like, she is in an interesting way when you compare her with or juxtapose her with Eileen Gu, who's like so media trained, so poised, like clearly brilliant, stunning, beautiful.
Very calculated.
So calculated.
Like spy.
Spy, maybe.
But she's so free.
Like this girl is like pure Americana in the most beautiful way.
Like, I'm going to take control of my life.
I'm going to do what I want with my life.
I'm going to seek out the things that I'm interested in doing.
And if this thing ends up being something that gives me joy, I'm going to go and chase after it and try to be the best that I ever can be.
Embracing Your Free Spirit00:03:30
And it's like she's just like this.
There's this gravitational pull when you see figures like that.
And like there's this love and support.
And like all of America is behind this girl.
And they've tried to culture war her.
She's like, oh, she believes in this.
She's woke.
But even that doesn't work.
You even see like conservatives go, we don't care what she does.
It's awesome that she just embodies this beautiful American spirit.
And I don't know.
I think she might be more successful, make more money, do all the things that Eileen Gu probably would have ended up doing here in America.
But I don't think Eileen Gu will ever have like the love or appreciation in America that Alyssa will.
Yeah.
Simply, yeah.
Yeah.
She shows up.
But what I'm saying is like, Alyssa is an example of like, there is a version where you can embrace this free spirit, this thing that only America allows and be loved simply because you're great at this thing and that this thing doesn't define you completely.
Yeah.
You know, and it's, I think it's something that maybe is unique to us in that way.
Like I just watching the world like gravitate to her and this like beautiful free spirit and also like the energy she was providing the people she was competing with.
Like there's these other girls that like this like little 17 year old Japanese girl got bronze and she didn't even know like if she could be emotional.
And like she has to like be like, hey, be happy.
This is awesome.
Like is, ah, yeah.
She's just, she's really special.
So I'm curious to see what happens.
What?
No, no, I'm allergic to this.
I'm horrible.
You don't like Asian girls.
I have horrible allergies.
Anyway, so it was very cool to see.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a beautiful story.
I didn't know any of this.
This is dope, and then she skated at the very end.
I know she won the goal, right?
Yeah, she comes to now.
Did she do any like tricks that no one else can do, or they just gave her an award because it's a nice story?
One of the few people that can do like a triple triple and then do another three spins right in a row.
But uh, she did this cool thing at the end of her at the end of her thing.
Like, I think she knows that she had an awesome run.
I don't even know if she knows she's won at this point, right?
Because it's up to the judges, but she skates right up to the camera and then she goes, That's what I'm fucking talking about.
Like, it's like Bay Area energy through and through.
Yeah, her hair is cool.
Yeah, I'll do not doing that.
Yeah, send her ass over there.
That's the energy.
That's the energy.
We got to get her paid.
That's really what we got to do.
We got it.
The billionaires of America come together and be like, Yo, we're going to double whatever Eileen Goo.
Whatever Eileen does, she got to get double.
I love that.
If she don't, we don't love America.
Facts.
Ooh.
If China's going to bred up our people more than we bred up our people, we don't love America, bro.
That is a good point.
Like, why?
I'm shocked that American companies or something didn't come together and be like, hey, what the fuck is going on here?
Why don't we get some more sponsorship opportunities for this girl?
This girl's going to win gold.
She's prolific.
Like, why are we going to let it's a stain on American dominance when we have athletes leaving here to compete in other countries?
Yeah.
But also, the payment to represent America, it should just be the joy.
You know, you're right.
America, I don't need any money, man.
You got a sniper position?
Let me know.
Put me on the fucking roof.
I'm on a drone.
Put me on a drone.
Blue Chew Gold For Performance00:03:31
Yes.
Wearing a diaper shitting on a roof.
I can only imagine it.
Yeah.
Do you think they diaper up?
Oh, they have to be up there for days.
Yeah.
But the diaper doesn't really do anything.
Yeah, you're just sitting with it.
That's worse.
You don't have kids.
No.
The second they shit in the diaper, you got to change the diaper.
You don't get to just leave it in there for days.
Yeah, I mean, they take off the one diaper, but they're up there for days.
Like, even why would they wear a diaper?
You could just drop pants and just you can't get up.
You're laying there for days, pissing it.
Roll that bitch off to the side, hopefully.
I think Miles is trying to committed to something.
Yeah, that's are you invoking a fact check?
I think, yeah.
Let's fact-check that.
Miles or Alex got a fact check.
Let's see.
Yo, do the knowledge.
Do the knowledge.
Do the knowledge, bro.
So hot up.
The way you said it is.
Can you call black people that?
Is that pejorative?
No, it's just I'm going to find out in the comments later.
Miles one of the videos.
Could you tell me what to fact check?
Where the fuck is Joey?
Move on.
Joey's somewhere else.
Move on, bro.
All right, huh?
Joey, you better relax.
That robot gonna replace you, bro.
That robot was doing tricks on it.
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
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Meritocracy Is A Classist Lie00:05:21
Epstein.
Yeah, Prince Andrew got arrested.
For what?
For it's connected to Epstein, but not in the way you think.
So it's not for all those girls that accused him of no, no, no.
I think that was an out-of-core settlement.
But this one was that the royal family just was like, yeah, let's Google Prince Andrew's name and see what comes up.
And then they realized that when he was the trade envoy, he was giving these secret documents to Epstein and basically telling Epstein just like about his travel whereabouts.
And they saw this as improper use of the office.
Now, how could that be advantageous to Epstein?
Yeah.
I don't know if it was done in like an official capacity to basically give away trade secrets or if it's literally like, hey, I'm going to be in Singapore this weekend.
Do you have any women I can meet?
And by saying that he's in Singapore, he's giving away confidential information.
So basically, they're kind of getting him on like a technicality to get him arrested based off of what's in the files.
So basically, there's not enough in the files to lock him up forever.
Or if you lock him up forever for what's in the files, it will look way worse on the royal family.
You know, the family's really done with this guy.
So he's like controversial for like easy.
You could fight that.
Like, they go off.
I guess the argument could be like if he's part of the trade envoy, that he would be privy to certain information, you know, financial information.
For example, like the government's about to make a big investment in some like military firm or whatever.
And if you gave that to a hedge fund, if you gave that to a guy like Epstein, he could make a big bet on that before it happens, which it seems like a lot of that was happening with these figures.
Yeah.
You know, which is the myth of meritocracy, which is this is one of my one of the positive things that has been exposed through the Epstein files is that all these people that are making all this money, you know, and investing in companies, like as if they're using like this great due diligence to choose the company.
It's like, no, it's not.
You just know the deal.
It's going to happen before it fucking happens.
It's Pelosi type shit.
But this is, we knew that this is what very wealthy and successful people were doing.
It's nice that it's exposed because then it lets us go, oh yeah, you're not fucking smarter than any of us.
You just have the answers to the test.
You know, so there is something like, now, how do we get them to stop doing that?
I don't know.
But we also don't have to let them finger wag us at all about, you got to work hard.
I worked for 60 hours a week in a trading desk to build it.
You did none of that shit.
You called your fucking rich friend.
He said that the British government is investing in this company.
You put a lot of fucking money in it.
Or the British government is pulling money out of this company.
You shorted it.
You guys aren't smarter.
You have the answers.
And there's a lot of countries that are like that, where meritography is not really prioritized at all.
It's classist and hierarchical.
That's just the way it is.
Yeah.
In America, the issue is that we tout ourselves as being meritocratic.
Ukraine rises to the top.
If you work hard, you can be successful.
And that's probably more true here than most places.
But with that said, it's not as meritocratic as a lot of people kind of believe.
Any business that can sustain nepotism is cheating.
Any business that can sustain any business where like your kids can take it over and it still works, you're cheating because you can't guarantee the level of ambition, intelligence of your kids.
You need some sort of competitive advantage.
You might be the smartest guy.
You might be the Steve Jobs, but Steve's Jobs kid might be a fucking retard.
But if the company manages to continue with them at the helm, you're cheating in some way.
What if you were grooming this kid for this position?
I know bad choice of work, but like at a very young age.
So it's like they just have so much knowledge to do this position more than the average person.
Have you hung out with rich people's kids?
No, I haven't.
They're all drug addicts and idiots.
Like the majority of them are drug addicts and idiots, right?
But they got the answers to the test, you know, or the connections are there where they can have certain access to certain things.
Yeah, but look at Baron.
He's killing it in the prediction model.
Yeah.
How the stuff he does with that computer, bro.
What the hell?
How he does with that computer.
He has been doing tricks with that computer.
I heard an interesting thing.
Did I text you this?
I can't remember if I did, but it was this guy, Alan Dubaton.
He's like an author.
He's a YouTube guy, philosopher.
He did a pop with Chris Williams where he's talking about the difference between in America, you have this story where meritocracy wins, but it's not exactly the case in the way it's represented.
And as a result, it creates a victim culture and like a blame culture, specifically in America.
Because if there's this story, like, hey, if you succeed, that's because you worked hard, you're successful.
And if you work hard, you can succeed.
Then the inverse is also true.
Where if you fail and you're a failure, it's because you didn't work hard and you're actually not smart and you're a loser.
And then that creates this paradigm where people are like, no, I've failed.
I worked really hard and I still failed.
And so then they go, who did this to me?
And then there's finger pointing and blaming, which maybe it's helpful, maybe it's not, but it comes from that place where they were sold this bill of goods about meritocracy that didn't actually hold up.
Yeah, it's interesting.
It's almost like if you knew the system was set up to support the Nepo babies or the class or the caste of people that are at the top, maybe you wouldn't have that much resentment for it.
Or the resentment or their success wouldn't prove you to be someone who doesn't work hard.
Squeezing People Until Revolution00:05:30
Yeah, hiring.
It would still be higher.
The social societies, I think, are more like, yeah, this is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They get all that shit and they get wealthy and that's the game.
And they're not gaslighting you.
Whereas we kind of gaslight a little bit.
Yeah.
Why aren't you working hard enough, man?
Aren't you grinding more, dude?
I feel like black people probably knew this.
Yeah.
People like us, like, I knew it too.
Like, we're not so different.
You know what I mean?
I knew about this.
I can't believe it.
White people are just finding out the system is against them, too.
I know.
And they are fucking pissed off at us.
That's the thing that's most interesting to see.
And I think the right thing to do for black people right now is to be like, keep going.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we're not fighting back.
Don't fight.
You're almost like, oh, you're getting it now.
You're like, you're black too.
You just didn't realize that.
It's being hard for you guys to buy houses.
It's hard for a lot of things.
It's like, oh, school is expensive.
This is what got us out of Vietnam.
The second they started drafting white kids, white people were like, what the fuck is happening over there?
Yeah.
No, I am glad to see it.
I am noticing.
And I'm just, come on, guys.
We're going to come together.
Yeah.
Some heads need to roll.
Whoa, come on.
I mean, you got to chill with that, dude.
Legally.
Legally.
I mean, they do.
What happens?
What is enough for people to go, okay, we've gotten some sort of justice?
Luigi.
Luigi, what?
Mangioti.
He gets off?
No, I just think he just needs to go on our joke.
I kid guys.
I get it.
No, I don't want that.
No, you said the exact opposite.
That's actually really hard.
No, who needs to get arrested?
Who needs to go down where people go, okay?
All right.
Well, we were talking about this a little yesterday.
I think it's twofold.
Okay.
Where I think you need some key arrests of like the people that we, the American public strongly feels is implicated so long as that they're actually guilty.
They got arrested.
There's an actual trial.
All the discovery is done.
We figure out what was actually happening.
Whether the United States intelligence is implicated or not, all the co-conspirators are arrested.
Do we have names for that?
I mean, people throw out Wexner a lot.
But again, he hasn't been charged with any crime.
I don't want to.
No, but they named him a co-conspiracy.
They named some of them.
Like Rokana, Massey named them.
They didn't name all of them.
Oh, I thought they named the ones that were like let off during the first initial thing in 2008.
So it's like, take down these place to look.
Yeah.
And then so long as that they're proven guilty in like a legitimate court, that's great.
But then on top of that, I do think you need to raise the economic conditions and that people can't feel so pinched economically.
They can't feel like their future is so hopeless.
And that's probably, I mean, that's a way bigger issue.
But like housing prices and healthcare and all that shit, I think needs to come into the fray in order for people to feel like really satisfied.
Because I do think a lot of this is emblematic of that frustration.
It's rightly placed anger, but it is, I think, just a small portion of the overall economic issue that everyone's feeling.
Yeah, it's like there's no distraction.
You can't be distracted when you're starving.
Now, I'm not saying the people in America are starving, but the feeling like there's the starvation of hope.
And you're going to point to the people who have stuff.
And then when it looks like all these people who have stuff are implicated in this horrendous scheme, now you have a perfect justification to hate them.
You already hated them because you're broke.
You can't afford a house.
You can't afford college and you can't afford healthcare.
And you're like, these guys are fucking involved in some way.
I know.
I don't know why, but fuck them.
And then you have this story that breaks where whether or not everybody's involved, we don't know, but enough people are involved.
And it looks like they're taking care of each other and protecting each other.
And it's just like, nah, no, Exactly.
Like, we're recording this Tuesday.
Tonight is the State of the Union.
And I'm actually curious to see which direction Trump goes with this.
Like, I wonder if he's just going to gaslight and be like, yo, stock market's up.
Everything's good.
I like, I wonder because that hasn't been working for him.
Like, it really hasn't been working.
His approval rating is at the lowest it's ever been.
Yeah.
So it's like, I wonder if he's maybe just has a real talk with the American people.
I doubt it, but.
Yeah, I doubt it.
Let's see what Cauchy says about it.
Yeah, I know.
I don't even know.
People are getting upset with this gaslight and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think like, I bet you, I would love to look this up, but I bet you after the French Revolution, there were some people that were like, all right, we killed Mary Antoinette.
We fucking chomped her head off.
And then they were still poor and starving.
They were like, well, it didn't solve all my problems.
You know, like, I think that there's, you need twofold.
You need to actually hold the powerful people accountable.
Yeah.
And then create a system where the poorest people in the country are not feeling like they're taken advantage of.
But that is a thing where like, and we talked about this with Mangioni.
It's like the people who have the money and power, they can only squeeze the American people or whatever country it is so much before revolution.
And like, you know, the French Revolution is a great example of that.
It's like, well, this is what happens when you squeeze them.
And then the next person in charge goes, okay, guys, they're getting to the point of this level of squeezing where our heads start getting chopped off.
We have to do something.
They had a term for that.
The nobles oblige.
What does that mean?
That's like the obligation of the nobles.
They have to do some stuff to make everyone happy.
Also, the framing of that.
This is our obligation.
Kill Switches And Power Leverage00:15:20
No, no, no.
This keeps you alive.
This keeps you alive because people will show up at your house with pitchforks if you take too much.
You can only squeeze people too much.
The problem is they still do a great job of keeping us fighting against each other.
100%.
So it's like they keep squeezing, but they keep finding a way, hey, yell at your neighbor and ignore what we're doing up here.
And I don't know if that's ever going to change.
Exactly.
No, because we like yelling.
Yeah.
So you make a lot of money on YouTube by yelling and just infighting non-stop.
And that's what will be a revolution.
Yo.
And also, we're placated enough because we like to consume.
And we just keep on buying shit.
And we're like, all right.
How bad can life be when you got like $100 flat screen?
You know what I mean?
$100 flat screen?
No, they just make the TVs cheaper.
So you feel this.
Oh, God, I got it.
And you got a Roku and you're watching TV and you're like, got a million different channels, dude.
Yeah.
You don't even come on.
You're going to protest when Night of the Seven Kings was on season finale.
Remember when they were season finale trash?
Yeah, it was trash.
But remember when they were about to crack down on sharing the passwords?
Oh, yeah.
And then all the nobles came together and they're like, they're going to kill us if we stop them from doing this.
Just let them share the fucking passwords so we can live and make billions of dollars.
Like, there's a perfect example because I think that password should have went away real quick.
Yeah, it did.
Right?
They're like, we're going to stop you guys from sharing passwords so we can make another 11 bucks per person.
No, no, no, no.
And then people are like, all right.
Who's the CEOs?
What's yeah.
So yeah, it's that part's frustrating.
What'd you guys think about that Wexner deposition?
Oh, there's a couple funny clips.
Like it's interesting seeing powerful people in positions where they're getting fucked up.
Like that's awesome.
Like seeing like these attorneys like just like rip them is awesome.
And seeing his attorney try to like course correct.
So I mean this is the part that went viral is basically telling him like hey shut the fuck up I mean because he's just answering shit.
They're like so what was your relationship with Glay Max?
He's like, oh yeah, I knew it pretty well.
You know, we did and like he's just like talking.
Lawyers like dude, shut the, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Is there no curiosity in that lawyer?
What do you mean?
Like if I was Wexner's lawyer, I would be sitting there going, I'll just fucking say it all.
I'm on no.
He knows all the shit.
Oh, you think he's aware of that?
That's why he's like, yo, she's a training client.
Privilege.
He could talk about it.
He knows all the stuff.
So there are people that know all this stuff that aren't even involved.
There are people that know like the murder cases and they just have to die with it.
And then a lot of, not a lot of people.
They don't have to.
They don't have to.
There are so many people in the FBI right now that have gone through all of those files unredacted.
Well, we have a chair and it's right here.
And if any of them would love to be a true American patriot, if you want a gold medal for being an American patriot, you can sit down, we're on this podcast, and tell us all about it.
I hope there'll be a whistleblower about this.
How is there not?
Yeah.
Like, how is there not?
There's nobody who wants to gossip.
There's nobody who wants to just be at the bar with the boys watching the game.
You're like, yo, like, this is crazy.
Epstein was.
And then he hung himself with his own hands.
He wanted to get to gossiping.
You saw what Nancy Mace tweeted today?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Nancy Mace congresswoman said, we are not sure that Epstein killed himself.
See, like that, that's the type of shit that's like stop doing that.
Why agree to cooperate and kill yourself?
Yeah, that's a good point.
Because the idea was he was cooperating.
Yeah.
And I think that's been confirmed.
He'd already begun that process.
So it makes sense that they killed him once he agrees to cooperate.
Well, they say, hey, if you, I get the distinction I'm making is like they gave him a window where they could, he could kill himself.
Or, hey, we're going to come in and murder you.
Or hey, we're going to come in and torture you.
Or you can just kill yourself right now and have a good, you're out.
But is it easier to convince him to do it than to send in a whole team middle of the night, turn off all the cameras in the whole prison?
That's the other thing I was wondering.
Couldn't you look at the camera at the front of the prison?
What do you mean?
There's cameras all throughout the prison.
The one in front of his cell died.
That's the one that went out.
Yeah.
So could we look at the camera from the hallway over?
Why are we trying to solve it?
Like the camera went out.
Yeah, obviously.
Like if this was in a movie, nobody would believe it.
And the guards falsely.
Yeah, but two guards asleep.
And they falsified their rounds records.
And guys, every camera just stops recording for a minute.
You don't know that?
Yeah.
Every camera does.
But you know what I'm saying?
If this was in a movie, people would be like, guys, what are the chances that all this happens?
Like, it wouldn't be believable.
So once the camera goes out, once the guards are asleep, I could maybe believe the guards are asleep.
Yep.
How are we not investigating them?
How is there not a timeline going minute by minute through their last three months?
Going through every email, every phone call they ever did.
How are they not on this podcast?
Like, how are we not sitting down?
He could probably get one of the guards.
You probably know him.
I probably do.
Find out who realizes.
Find out who the guards are.
And find out how much they pay for their Malibu homes.
Because there's 100% they got a nice chunk of change to just have no clue what the fuck happened.
If they were actually sleeping, it is kind of funny.
Like, imagine they woke up and they're like, wait, what?
What's going on?
And they're like, wait, what?
Epstein killed himself?
Nobody's going to believe me.
Right?
Like, whether they slept or not, nobody will ever believe them again.
And if they are guys that are like COs, these are not guys that like are built to keep secrets forever.
Like you worked with these guys, right?
It's not like, okay, a guy that has been groomed to be in the CIA since they're 18 years old.
Yeah, maybe he's a secret keeper.
A CO can't wait to talk some shit.
Yeah.
Like people know.
Yeah, we got to check if he's paid.
If he's not paid, then every other CEO knows what happened out there.
Even if he's paid, they know.
Oh, yeah, possibly.
Because they're your friends.
You're still playing in a fucking basketball league with them.
Like, it's not like.
Yeah, but they would get jealous that they didn't get any money.
So then they would snitch.
So that you, if you, if you took money, you can't tell anybody else.
Son, we got to know somebody that knows them.
And 100% they said something.
That's why them being asleep is like the most realistic.
And maybe they drugged them or some shit.
Like, I don't know.
But like, there's no way those two guys are keeping secrets.
There's no way you're going to go back to being a CEO.
I mean, what if they extort them?
They go, hey, here's the money to keep your mouth shut.
And if you ever tell someone about this, these people are gone.
We know where you live.
We know where you're killing.
Let me tell you something.
New Yorkers can't keep a secret.
We can't keep information that's valuable.
We're just not capable of doing it.
Once we know some shit, we're telling everybody.
We're telling everybody.
It's not even a question.
It's in our soul.
You know what?
We don't make for good intelligence agents.
No, no.
That's a good point.
That's it.
No, we're telling everybody.
I'm shocked they haven't been on every single.
I'm shocked they haven't had a Vlad interview.
The fact that everyone has not sat down with Vlad is crazy.
Vlad, Vlad, you've been cooking.
That's the interview.
It's crazy to me.
They're not a Vlad.
That is crazy.
We don't even know their names.
No, I think we do.
What are their names?
It looks like it's Tova Noel.
Tova.
Michael Thomas.
Tova.
Yeah.
Hold on a second.
Bruh.
That's not real.
Bruh.
Yeah, yeah.
The two guys.
I ain't never seen Tova down there.
I'm going to tell you that.
Tova Noel.
I ain't never seen Michael Tova.
I already fell asleep at their desk for about three hours, and then they later falsified their related records.
Telling you.
Who's Tova Noel?
I'm telling you.
I've seen a lot of COs.
I ain't never seen the Tova down there, guys.
Yeah, yeah.
Hold on.
Well, Tova Noel is.
All right.
All right.
Nah, he's like a monster.
Is it the girl or the guy?
Is Tova Noel?
I think the woman would be Tova.
The guy is Michael Thomas.
Oh, that's different.
But oh, Al's on a different.
Women names, women names is crazy.
We know for something.
Yeah, I thought we did.
I thought he sold it right now.
I thought he did.
She's a little darker than I thought.
That's Tove.
That's Tove.
Yeah.
Tova, Jay Hoba.
Yeah, I see it.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, we got to figure out that we got something.
I thought we were almost there.
Like, nobody else stamped up.
I think they went to trial.
Like, I think they got charged.
And then for what?
They got charged.
You telling me she hasn't told everybody at the fucking Jamaican spot.
You're telling me that when she goes and gets her little oxtail and some fucking rice and peas, she's not saying low-key, hey, that motherfucker didn't kill himself.
We let them go in.
We said they were sleeping.
Like, come on.
Nah, I just know that's an honest woman right there.
She takes some money and shuts up.
She's honest.
It might be enough to make them shush.
How much does it have to be?
A few mil.
But if they get a few mil, people know.
A few mil.
50,000.
If they get enough, people know.
If they buy one thing, people are going to know.
Yeah.
You think they just drugged him?
Possible.
Or do you think that they got the two sleepiest COs and they put him in there that night?
Like, nah, these guys are out 100%.
We have a two-hour window where a nuclear bomb could go off and these motherfuckers ain't waking up.
And it's crazy because he was on like Suicide Watch, right?
I think he was taken off.
Oh, took him off.
Yeah, like the day before.
That's why they say, like, it's, yeah.
They killed his ass.
You saying they gave him a Thanksgiving dinner?
Yeah, the Tryptophan.
What do they call that again?
What?
The Itis?
Oh, yeah, the Itis.
You can't say that.
I didn't say that.
You just said it.
No, I didn't.
You just said it.
I didn't say it.
No, I was bleeped it.
I heard you say it.
Yeah.
Bro, that's so funny.
I wonder.
Yeah.
We got to get them on.
We definitely got to sit down with them.
We got to.
That's a great.
That's a great conversation.
Come on, Tova.
Tova, we need you, girl.
Come on, pull up.
And Michael Thomas, we need you.
Do you know because he died, his charges were dismissed?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you never got convicted.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Wow.
Just crazy.
The end of that sentence.
Just crazy, dude.
We don't know he's dead.
True.
True.
In late 2021, feds dropped charges against the two Bureau of Prison Guards responsible for moderating Epstein on the night of his death.
Tova might need to come on.
You're just like him.
New Yorker from New York?
They perform community service.
You're taking naps.
You take a lot of naps.
Taking naps.
I'm not putting a nap by anybody.
I'm not putting a nap by anybody, especially if you're working in overnight.
What time did they kill him?
They found him at 6:30 the next morning, so overnight.
So, 2 a.m., 3 a.m. I'm not putting a nap by anybody.
I'm not going to do that.
Yeah, come on.
That's something I'm not going to do.
Yeah.
You're just like him, bro.
You love a nap.
I like a nap.
That being said, I feel like you would hear it.
I feel like you would hear somebody killing themselves.
You think it'd be complete silence?
Yeah, I mean, he's not fighting it.
Yeah.
Well, eventually your body fights it.
It's like you ever hold your breath underwater and then.
Yeah, because you don't want to die.
How close is that?
You think that you could go underwater?
You think you could drown yourself in a bathtub?
No, I mean, I don't want to die.
If you wanted to, you think you could drown yourself?
People do this with autoerotic asphyxiation.
No, that's to nut.
They want a nut.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then they get too close and then their switch doesn't take them off and then they die.
No, that doesn't happen.
How do they die?
A fucking massage agent comes in and takes them up.
That's how he dies.
How does anything happen?
No, nothing.
Imagine if he was just trying to get a nut off with both of them.
No help.
Oh.
Maybe he was just, you know, he's in jail too.
He hasn't had no little kids around in a while.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was just trying to get one off.
Women.
I forgot.
What?
They're going to say, oh, you didn't have any like women around.
He's been around.
Nothing.
He had no little kids.
Yeah.
He's jerking a little egg dick.
Yeah, that's a good point.
He got an egg-shaped dip.
That's what they say.
Yeah.
Who else has an egg-shaped dip?
Yeah, you also, you got a little egg on you.
No.
You are a little bit more.
You have a little bit more like a bat.
Like a bat.
Have you guys seen the timeline for the Epstein?
What is it?
They say they find him shortly after 6:30 a.m.
Someone is heard screaming, breathe, Epstein, breathe.
And an alarm is rung at 63.
His last name.
They're saying his last name, affected.
At 6:33 a.m. He's at the hospital and pronounced dead by 6.39.
So they got him to the hospital in six minutes and he was dead.
Hmm.
That seems short.
In nine minutes, they find him CPR in a hospital, pronounced dead.
And didn't they send him out the wrong exit with some boxes?
Remember?
Well, somebody said that they tricked the crowd or whatever.
Yeah.
In nine minutes?
Yeah.
Okay.
They also consequently failed to photograph Epstein's body as it was found.
Guys, we don't have to.
We know they killed him.
Like, there's no question in my mind.
I don't know he's dead.
I'm not convinced he's dead.
Yeah.
Or he's not dead.
Yeah.
It's one of those two.
Yeah, I think it's a bad thing.
I was like, 10% he's not dead, and that's gone up to like 5%, maybe 10.
Oh, you're only there?
Yeah.
I thought you'd be higher.
No, I just think they could take him out.
Like, they're just like, yeah, who cares?
Let's just get rid of him.
Yeah, like, what value is he alive?
That's what I don't understand.
Why can't he get him out?
He had kill switches.
I figured they found all the kill switches, and that's why they were able to take him out.
Because if they didn't, we would have had the kill switches.
Or he's not dead.
And you're keeping him alive just because he has the kill switches.
Yeah.
So why wouldn't they put him into a black box room and start fucking chipping away at his toes until he said where the kill switches were?
Maybe that's happening right.
And we're still waiting?
I don't know.
He's got 10 toes.
It's a lot of toes.
Yeah, a lot of toes.
He's a lot of toes.
No, it takes time.
Or give him that truth serum.
Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
Somebody was slipping stuff to Wall Street Journal.
Wait, what happened with the Wall Street Journal?
Like the birthday book?
Like, they got that shit before the government put that out.
He would have his own birthday book.
Birthday book, perfect example.
Trump got a signed note to Epstein in a birthday book.
They asked Trump about it.
Trump's Fake Birthday Book Note00:06:24
He's like, I don't even believe in birthdays.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Just like it's like he says, I don't draw some shit like that.
Yeah, it's like, it's like, not only is that not real, it's not mine, and I've never owned a pen.
Yeah, yeah, he said he didn't write it.
Yeah, and then they asked, they asked Wexner about the birthday book.
He goes, Yeah, I wrote that Wexner kind of sold out Trump.
Yeah, and then it was one of the funny things.
They're like, All right, so was Epstein your friend?
He was like, He's never my friend.
This guy used me.
And he goes, Oh, well, when he signed the birthday book, uh, what is his drawing here?
And he's like, It's boobs.
And they're like, Okay.
And they're like, Why did you sign a your friend Leslie?
And he goes, I don't know why I said that.
He was never my friend.
It's like, bro, how did you not anticipate this coming up?
You called him your friend a bunch of times.
So the lawyer's like, Yo, shut the fuck up.
Yeah, say nothing.
You saw like some people were taking that as like, yo, that's his handler.
And he's like, Yo, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm really going to kill you.
No, there's some people who are no, it's way more fun to look at it.
The lawyer is your handler, low-key.
Yeah.
When you're in the courtroom, that is your handler.
But like on some real shit, like, yo, I'm going to kill you if you say the wrong thing after that.
No, I don't think that attorney is going to murder Leslie Wexner.
But somebody will.
Yeah.
Yep.
Someone will.
If he starts talking too much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Someone will.
I mean, that's just.
Yeah, it's crazy.
So, and then apparently the dude in Norway tried to kill himself.
Oh, yeah.
The ex-prime minister of Norway who has connected to Epstein in the files through like emails and stuff.
He tried to kill himself?
Yeah.
This is like a day ago or something.
And those guards didn't fall asleep.
They found him.
Oh, he's locked up.
Oh, shit.
Can you fact-check this?
This is this all happened today.
I don't know this super well.
Oh, wow.
I didn't hear about this one.
That's crazy.
Something from NPR came out this morning at like 3 a.m. about Trump files being pulled from the Epsom things mentioning Trump being pulled from the Epstein list also.
Oh, yeah.
Tons.
54 pages.
Allegedly, this girl, 13-year-old girl, who claims that she her that he raped her.
The FBI interviewed her like four times.
And then miraculously, three of the interviews have disappeared.
And the one that's left, she doesn't mention Trump.
And there's an interview with the mother also.
Was there a conclusion based on the FBI interviewing her?
And then which FBI interviewed her?
Is it the current FBI or is the one from Pastor?
No, this happened.
I think it happened in 86 or so, or 89, maybe.
Yeah.
And the conclusion, I just want to make sure.
And the conclusion after those three interviews was that she was credible or she was not.
We don't know.
Got it.
But to interview her four times, that's usually a crazy.
It's like, wow, this bitch is great.
What I would say is that, like, if this is in the 80s, they don't give a fuck about Donald Trump.
He's still kind of making.
Again, I'm not trying to defend him.
What I'm trying to say is he's not in a position of power where the FBI and the real power brokers in the 80s are like, oh, we got to protect him.
Unless there's something we don't know.
Yes.
Unless he's aware of this, even from way back in the day.
Or unless Epstein's like, yo, that's my guy.
Don't come after him right now.
Unless I'm working it.
That's a good point.
That's interesting.
Hmm.
Also, apparently there was a report that came out that the U.S. government helped Epstein travel after his conviction.
So in 2008, he gets convicted and that affects his ability to travel.
And then apparently, there's certain emails that he has governmental access in order to travel.
And people, once again, are like, he had this like, it's just more intelligence proof that like the government is like facilitating his foreign travel, like giving him clearances and shit.
This is just some random article that I saw.
I mean, I think it was, it was credible, but it is really interesting.
There's nothing there, guys.
No, no, of course it's a hoax.
There's nothing there.
What was it?
Inferences.
Inferences.
Just inferences.
But it is really interesting, though, that they would release all of this and redact.
One, it makes you go, what the fuck is redacted?
Because there's already so much shit that is incriminating enough.
The bare minimum, the inference you can make is that he has incredible leverage and power that is unjustified by anything in the emails.
In other words, like the power is there.
Why are these banks using him as an intermediary?
Why are wealthy people using him as an intermediary?
What type of leverage does he have?
But there's no justification in the emails as to why he has this leverage or power.
And clearly, if we understood that, it kind of solves everything.
Now, it doesn't solve why he likes children.
He's a fucking creep and why all these other people might be into it as well.
But the leverage and power, I think, is a thing that solves.
I think the internet and obviously us are just like, holy shit, all these incredibly powerful people are into having sex with children.
I also think they're probably above age prostitutes that they're banging as well.
I don't subscribe to this idea that they're all like, no, we want them to be the specific age.
Yeah, I'm sure there's some creeps that are into it.
But if he's throwing fuck parties on an island, you know, I don't know if Bill Gates is rattling off emails.
They have to be 16 years old.
Yeah, I don't think that.
But again, this is what is the most salacious, the most abhorrent, the most, you know, just diabolical.
But I do think you solve the reason for his leverage and then everything starts to make sense.
Yep.
Yeah.
And no one can thwart that.
I've seen certain people like, you know, try to make arguments.
They're like, oh, well, the pedophile ring is overblown and there's nothing really there to substantiate it.
And da-da-da-da.
Meaning this global blackmail pedophile ring.
I've seen people make these arguments, which is like you're fucking brave right now to be the guy defending Jeffrey Epstein.
But none of those people can justify his power leverage.
I haven't heard anybody.
And the fact that you got a former prime minister of a massive, powerful country killing himself or trying to kill himself to get away from whatever is going to come up in these files.
To me, it's like, oh, they're all guilty.
Global Blackmail Pedophile Ring00:02:51
Yeah.
They did some fucking crazy shit.
Any of this, like, because even I would try to.
It should be the shame of fucking hookers.
That's the thing.
I don't think that that's enough.
Right.
And then even like the insider trading, state secrets, I'm like, probably not.
Like, it has to be some real fucked up shit to make you want to off yourself or to make Trump want to release UFO files.
I'm like, ah, they got something.
They got something.
The second you're like, yo, guys, the aliens are real.
It's like, oh, shit.
They did something bad, dude.
Trump hates aliens.
He's like, dude, they got the aliens.
I'm like, come on, dude.
It's a bad look.
Bad, bad situation.
Yeah, he tried to kill himself.
Yeah.
I think we got to interview him.
We got to get him on the box.
Right next to Tova.
Right next to Tova in the world.
He could be a potential kiddie fucker.
I don't want to talk to him.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
That's a good ass point.
Yeah, you're protecting us.
Yeah, you guys got to be careful.
You platform, guys.
I just, I just can't, I just can't imagine.
I just can't imagine Europeans care that much about banging hookers.
They care way more than we apparently care because they're punishing their motherfuckers.
No, meaning like, it must be something else.
Because simply like fucking cheating on your wife or whatever, isn't that like a European way of life?
Again, that's just kind of, I don't see.
Tell my wife that.
She moved here for a reason.
I just see us taking it societally much more serious than they do.
Even if that's a stereotype, but like the French, you know, the Spanish, the Italians, like I don't see them.
Maybe in the Scandinavian countries a little different, but like, I don't see them like thinking that having like a little side piece is like that antithetical to their culture.
Whereas in America, it's like taboo.
You shouldn't do that.
Not saying we don't, but it's enough, it's a taboo.
This is bad.
So it's like if they're killing themselves over like extramarital fares, it's hard for me to believe.
Fuck some kids.
Some shit went down.
Yeah.
Allegedly.
They have a whole city for prostitution.
Yeah, it's like a normalized thing there.
Yeah.
They're deviant people.
Like they're not like God-fearing good people.
You know what I mean?
It's like that's why the Puritans had to color.
That's why you wouldn't represent them in the Olympics for $50 million.