Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the LA wildfires, criticizing Gavin Newsom's absence in Ghana during the crisis and media focus on Malibu celebrities over Altadena victims. They debate TikTok bans versus data threats, Elon Musk's acquisition rumors, and Trump's Greenland mineral interests. The hosts also analyze medical ethics regarding unnecessary surgeries, coffee enemas for detox, and a woman who had sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours, contrasting her viral fame with OnlyFans earnings to explore male psychology and societal values. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Why Friendship Fucks Up00:14:55
What's up everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
Today we're going to get to the bottom why Mark believes everything.
Mark just three seconds ago was telling us why demons exist and your proof was the Jews.
That's literally what you said.
Religious people believe in demons.
Dove believes in demons.
Let the record show.
You're a religious Jew.
You go to synagogue every day and according to Jewish religion, you have to believe that there's good and evil.
And that the evils are demons.
Sure.
Okay, Mark, I've learned that.
You guys are communicating with my wife, okay, that giving examples is not what they want.
Okay.
Examples undermine what they feel.
And they just want their feelings validated.
Now, my whole life has been dedicated towards creating metaphors and analogies for why I'm right.
Turns out that's horrible for communication.
Also, interrupting, apparently horrible.
I'm like, is it my wife that's commenting on the YouTube?
You got to call it heckling.
Call it heckling, dude.
Do people not have friends?
I'm like, what do you do with your friends?
You don't just talk over each other?
That's just how friendship fucking works.
That's how it's supposed to go.
You want to say something?
You just say it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Done.
Except for when she interrupts you.
Disrespectful.
Come on.
A man is talking here.
A male embryo.
The embryo that is wanted and desired and cherished around the world.
Yes.
Okay.
Anyways, Mark, Mark believes in anything.
We figured out why Mark believes in anything.
Can you share that?
I believe in, I give leashes to things.
Okay, I don't just believe.
I just don't believe in anything.
Okay, Mark heard so much absurd shit growing up from his mom.
Obviously.
Right.
So his barometer for what is normal and weird is way off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Coffee and I'm a normal.
Great way to start your morning.
We haven't even gotten to the bottom of that.
Have we?
Mark's mom did.
So hold on.
She's just backing up into the espresso every morning.
Yeah, well, it's put into like a canteen.
Oh, she doesn't go right from the tap.
She doesn't just that thing up.
No, you got to cool down.
You got to cool down.
Make a room temp and then put it in the little container and then tube it up.
Got it.
She doesn't go for the ice cream.
Refreshing was room temp.
So this is how to do a demon.
Okay, listen.
She knows that extra.
Okay.
Okay.
So, all right.
So Mark gives a little bit longer leash to all the crazy people, right?
Now, I'm not saying your mom's crazy, but she has some wild ideas.
And you would hear this.
Some of the ideas are certainly kind of crazy.
And then some of the ideas end up kind of being right.
So where the average person like us, if somebody just walks up to us on the street and they're like, bacon is fucking, it's really from Pidgin or whatever like that.
We go, all right, whatever.
You're just a crazy person.
There's a little bit of you that goes, well, what do you mean by that?
Yeah, well, why?
There's certainly a follow-up question.
And I thought everyone had follow-up questions.
No!
We walk away.
We don't engage crazies.
But here's the thing.
Normally, someone with Mark's condition would go to an island somewhere where there are people that are relaxed and calm and they don't believe in crazy shit.
And then they would just live out the rest of their life in tranquility and peace.
No, he went to the place where they're normal people screaming out crazy shit all day long.
And now he has to inquire about this.
Yes.
1,000% started a podcast about it.
Yeah, literally.
Yes.
That's where this combo came from because I was talking to a guy who was telling me about aliens and I was like, yo, maybe, dude.
And they're so convicted where they're telling me about aliens.
Has there ever been a moment in your life where you just go, ugh, I don't believe that.
Sure.
Yeah.
When someone said you should enjoy movies.
You're like, I don't believe that.
Yeah, someone watch Wicked.
And I was like, too many people do that every single day.
It's part of our culture.
Yeah, I'm not going to watch movies.
I mean, shower daily.
Yeah, I mean, that's a myth for the record.
That is absolutely a propaganda tool done by capitalist America.
Yes.
By the Resnicks?
By the fucking Rednik's.
Yeah, you fucking Californians.
If you were washing yourself all day, and your city would be there.
Consume more, buy more.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, people were showering all the time.
Yeah, and I was counting down the minutes until they blamed it on the Jews.
The wildfire.
I was kept looking at TikTok.
I was like, man, you guys are taking a little while.
And then, boom, where's all the water in California?
And some fucking Starboys house in northern LA?
Where the Resnicks live?
I think Northern California, I thought.
I'm going to have all of it, though.
Anyway, okay, so I give it a little bit of a leash.
But then some things like flat earth, that's not true.
But you would give us a leash to believe it.
But I heard it.
And I was like, all right.
You have enough of them to walk off the face of the planet.
Yeah.
It had to be proven to you that it wasn't true.
Where the rest of us were like, we know it's not true.
But how do you know it's not true?
Because exactly.
Because exactly.
Because?
Because.
No, you look into it.
You say, okay, the light didn't go through the whole thing.
Didn't even look into it.
Because the curvature?
Didn't even look into it.
I just said, ah, it's not flat.
But when you're in an airplane, you look out and you go, it seems flat.
Don't even think about it.
No, it doesn't seem flat.
I don't even think about it in an airplane.
I'm like, man, we're going around.
Around.
Around.
Not flat at all.
Not flat at all.
I agree.
But you think that it's flat.
It's not flat.
It could be.
He gives leash to the idea.
You give a leash to the idea that it's flat.
Well, it is measurably flat in our existence on the earth.
The glass is thick on the airplane, so it makes it look round from our POV on the plane.
I get it.
It's experientially flat, but it's not actually flat in actuality.
That's true.
I wish he was sick.
Yeah, I'm getting sick.
I'm getting more sick listening to this shit.
Oh, yeah.
Akash almost died this week.
So did Al.
I gave it to him.
I'm sick.
I got the Akash bird flu.
Thank you, Really.
I did tell you not to hug me.
Al wanted to hug everybody.
But how are you?
Oh, y'all are fine.
So contagious.
You guys are some real assholes to like cry about what you're going through during these wildfires.
Like, nobody cares about your little fucking pneumonia.
Okam's like, oh, pneumonia.
I didn't think I'm the real victim.
You are the real victim.
Can you share what you're saying about the wildfires?
So we, my wife and I keep talking about getting out of New York.
Yeah.
We've been looking at stuff in LA.
The house that we had been looking at the whole time, like, this is a fucking great piece of property.
Yesterday just got cleared off of Compass, not for sale, not for rent.
That shit burned to the ground.
Isn't that crazy?
And I remember like a week ago being like, it's so fucking cold in New York.
This is God's way of telling us to leave, go to California.
So legit burned down.
Burned down.
I told you they were real, the fires.
No one said the word real.
I think they're real.
No, I saw it on the movie.
No, I thought they were arson.
Yeah.
Well, that is also by the Resnicks.
And BlackRock.
And Black Rock, also.
Okay.
Akash was really cut up about that.
I was really.
I mean, I'm the real victim, dude.
I mean, you can't.
And I got the flu.
Did you catch a break this week, too?
My God.
Why?
But I like that you wore the shirt that guarantees you will not have bunched up shoulders today.
Bro, the comments were hollow.
Yeah, they were.
That was majestic.
Bro, they said you look like the shrugged head guy from Beetle Joe.
That was the best one.
There's so many good ones.
That was the best one.
100%.
There's so many good ones.
Shouts.
Anyway.
Yeah, is it too early to say there's going to be like some available property in LA soon?
I've been trying to figure that out, to be honest with you.
Like, when is the time?
One of the first questions I asked Jason.
I was like, how quickly are y'all going to buy up this dirt?
And he's like, and this is what he said.
He goes, it's uninsurable.
Not worth it.
And that is going to be the issue.
Is it now that there are wildfires that run through every year or whatever it is?
And you don't know when this kind of stuff is going to happen.
The insurance company is going to go, ah, it's not worth it.
And then the only people who can buy the homes are the people who can buy them all cash and self-insure.
I mean, so housing prices becomes an affordable area because the fair plan only insures up to $3 million.
Oh, is that like the government's natural display?
Natural traffic?
Because they were canceling state farm other plans.
You only had the fair plan plus like little other umbrellas you could have done.
But if that's your cap.
What if you just buy land and wait for California or for LA to go Republican?
Now it's going to be fine.
Once these people start, because a lot of these people whose houses are gone, like they never built a house.
They maybe renovated one a little bit or they bought an existing house.
Once you start building a house in California, you deal with the bureaucracy that is in place.
All these people are going to go, man, fuck the Democrats, fuck the liberal politics, fuck leftist shit, like open it up, turn this shit into Texas or Florida.
Let me tell you what I'm saying.
Maybe you don't think they're going to streamline the shit because there's so many.
So here's the thing.
If it's now okay to streamline it, why the fuck was there a streamline before?
Why are you hemming up all these people?
No, no, no.
I mean, in terms of building back, like they got less regulations just because we have to build this shit back.
Okay, so then they will.
And then people realize, oh, wow, the housing shortage goes away quickly when you actually make it possible for people to build out here.
So either way, I think the people start going, all right, I think we're done with the leftist policies.
Yeah, progressivism is dead.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, dead.
And then after this fire, does that not mean that there won't be another fire for a while?
Like if this is basically a controlled burn that took down all like the brush and shit, does that buy 10 years?
That's a good question.
If it's like the worst fire that's ever happened in the world, I feel like brush grows like that.
Yeah.
How fast is brush like that?
What's brush?
It's brush.
It's brush.
It's like, oh, drive.
It was brush.
It was 80 to 100 mile per hour wind was the perfect direction.
It was just an absolute nightmare.
Perfect shit.
Attack.
Man-made, bro.
Maybe.
I mean, there were people lighting shit up.
But that's the other thing that's like the reaction to this.
It's funny.
Like the Luigi Mangioni stuff, the reaction was people were like supportive of Luigi Mangioni.
And some people made it about him being good looking.
I don't think it was about him being good looking at all.
It helps.
It helps because it's a little funnier to support it because you can pretend you're doing it because he's so handsome.
But like the undercurrent is really fuck that evil CEO.
Yep.
They're the haves.
I'm the have-not.
We've all been fucked by insurance.
And this is health insurance.
So it's life and death.
They play with your life.
Same thing with this housing shit.
Housing insurance companies are going to try to not pay out all these people.
CEOs that are going to get fucking secure.
Yo, that was one of your texts, like right as it was happening.
And if another, if a house like a state farm insurance CEO gets aced out, you think people are going to give a fuck?
We're not going to give a fuck.
We're going to be like, that's what's up.
There you go.
Yeah.
This is like, I think we've talked about this before, but for the billionaire class, right?
Yeah.
Or the hundreds of millionaires, like the people who actually kind of control things and make decisions.
Throughout history, you got to make sure that the poorest people have enough to live.
They can't be below the poverty line because if they're below the poverty line with no hope, like they feel like there's no way out, they're going to kill you.
Yeah.
And that's history, right?
It's like every revolution has started because of that, right?
So I think what you're seeing right now is there are a lot of people below the poverty line.
They feel no hope whatsoever.
And they're maybe not going out and killing the CEO, but they are celebrating it or having zero empathy for it.
And unfortunately with the fires, the way that the media has portrayed it is it's just kind of Malibu in the palisades.
And every time you turn on fucking Fox or CNN, they're like, this famous person's house burns down.
What are you doing?
Stop talking about the famous people's houses that burn down.
Talk about the school.
What's that neighborhood?
Altadena they're talking about.
It's just like, talk about the poor people who are renting.
They no longer have a house and all their family heirlooms are done.
Yeah, or they put all their money into this house.
They don't have a lot of money, but you got a house in California that's going to appreciate.
Now that's gone insurance not paying out.
So just the idea, like if you don't have anything, hearing someone's house that they own burn down, the knee-jerk reaction is to not have empathy for that because you're like, I don't even have a house to burn down.
You're immediately putting us in this position of have, have-nots.
Nobody's talking about like all the landscapers that no longer have work because their entire neighborhood and area that they landscape is melted, right?
There's a lot of people who are fucked because of this.
I think the best like portrayal of it is just like, what did you lose in the house?
People can relate to that.
Yeah.
You know, I lost all the pictures of my daughter.
I lost all the pictures of my family.
I lost these family heirlooms.
Like, I would be sad if I lost those things.
But when you talk about $40 million Malibu house, also, don't even talk about the Malibu house.
Don't even bring that shit up.
Whether that exists or doesn't exist, nobody wants to hear about it.
Because nobody lives only in Malibu.
That's your second, third, fourth house.
It's $50 million.
Nobody gives a fuck right now.
Just point that shit at Altadena.
Point that shit at those families.
Where are they staying?
Are they in motels?
Do they have clothes?
Like, what do the kids do?
The kids go to school?
That's the only way to get it.
Yeah.
You're also so desensitized.
Like, just in general.
Like, you just see wars everywhere and then you see someone lost a house and you're like, well, it's not as bad as the thing I saw two weeks ago.
It's crazy because you don't hear about the, like, it's death toll also.
Yeah.
When you hear 25 people died, you're like, first of all, it's tragic.
Obviously, 25 people died.
But that's like half a school shooting.
Yeah, we're desensitized to 25.
Yeah, like it's crazy.
Like, so to us, when you hear all this damage, it's almost like if you resent the people who have and this like super wealthy class of people, if you resent them, it's almost like the perfect tragedy because you're like, wait a minute.
So all the billionaires' houses got burned down and few people died?
Thank you.
Amazing.
Great.
This tapped into that resentment that I had and made me feel good.
Now you guys know the pain.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like there's an overwhelming support for what's going on over there.
I think there's an undercurrent of this, but I largely do feel a lot of that.
But I do think there's an undercurrent of people that are easily written off.
No, there's some comment sections that are crazy.
Oh, and also Palisade, think about, there's also people that have lived there.
An 80-year-old is not going to take the time to rebuild and start over again versus, or it's that first couple.
This is their first dream house, their first, their kids' schools burned down.
This is tragic.
So much like Palace LA as well was like a real enclave of like locals.
Like that was a dream neighborhood that was actually pretty well balanced.
Of course, really rich homes, but it's tragic.
I think LA is rallying behind it and there's a lot of support in LA.
But I think outside of LA, and especially if you're a person who doesn't really have much and you're seeing like a celebrity post a GoFundMe for one of their friends, the knee-jerk reaction is like, well, why don't you fund it?
You know, you're a celebrity.
You probably got hundreds of millions of dollars, which they don't.
Politicizing The Event00:15:44
Yeah.
But you think they do.
So I, and I think I looked at some of these comment sections.
Also, like making it about Gaza is just like, bro, the comments like, this is Gaza every day.
It's like, nobody asked.
We're talking about California right now.
We're talking about LA.
But I don't like the left-right stuff going on either.
Yeah, you're saying like the politicization of the event.
That and also some people on a certain side are like, oh, you know what?
We're going to hold funding until they agree to a whole bunch of other stuff.
And I'm like, yo, when something this tragic happens, like you just throw the money at it and let's just get everybody in a good place before you try to bring politics into this bullshit.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not against bringing politics in.
Why?
Because politicians make decisions that they have to be accountable for.
But I'm supportive of being critical of politicians on both sides.
So if these politicians are withholding funding simply to leverage the tragedy, let's be critical of that.
If these politicians over here withheld funding to the fire department, withheld funding to the things that clear the brush and withheld some or had some policy that affected the amount of water that could be in their reservoirs, hold them accountable for that.
Right?
I think that political decisions have influenced this event.
So I think we got to hold those people accountable.
And please believe, when politicians make decisions that benefit the city or the state or the country, they love to take that credit.
This is my economy.
Even Barack, the best.
It was my economy that he inherited.
I guess there's just no right time to talk about those things, but it's just like when you in the middle of the tragedy, like, let's just focus on helping the people.
I think we need an explanation.
How the fuck did this happen?
Now, apparently, like you guys said, it's a lot of confluence of events.
It's crazy.
Hurricane level wins with the fire, with the dry, the drought, blah, blah, blah.
But at some point, you also got to look at how the fuck there.
It can't be perfectly planned.
The city, all the money was spent correctly, et cetera, et cetera.
And then everything happened.
And then we do feel like politicians don't really take accountability.
It doesn't feel like Gavin Newsom is saying, you know what, I take responsibility for what I've done, blah, blah, blah.
It seems like they're just like, let me make sure I get reelected again.
Let me make sure I look okay out of this.
And then you look at that and you get grossed out because you're angry looking at this.
You feel bad for those people.
There's a perfect outlet.
There's a human being who fucks something up and isn't taking accountability.
Fuck that guy.
I also think that it's an outlet for their frustration that preceded this.
So it's like, if you have frustration about homelessness, if you have frustration about legislation, if you have frustration about this city, the crime rates in the city, you had all this frustration about LA, but at the same time, it's 75 every single day.
You got a job.
You're still getting paid.
You got a nice house.
You're like, all right, let me not, you know, cry about this right now.
Then this happens and it looks like there's aneptitude on behalf of the government.
And you're like, all right, you know what?
Fuck you.
You guys all got to get out of here.
So I think it's not the straw that broke the camel's back.
It's a lot of fucking straw right here, but it is indicative of a greater problem.
Yeah.
And I think it's a frustration with government in general.
Gotcha.
And like progressive leadership.
Yeah.
People were mad at the mayor that she was in Ghana.
Yeah.
You see that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think she left before the fires.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like she was there already.
Which just what a fucking stressful knew it was going to be a fire.
Who should have knew who's going to be waiting that day?
You know what's crazy though is when they're interviewing her after she's right after she gets off the plane, but she just says nothing and then leaves.
Yeah.
The fucking, the dead silence was crazy.
You're mayor.
Why are you going?
She's also promised not to do these international trips before.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a problem.
She didn't take vacation.
It's not vacation.
She was at the inauguration of the new president of Ghana.
Like, why does she need to be in the city?
Because before she was on some committee that would send leaders out there.
I'm like, you're the mayor now.
You have one job.
All right, guys.
Also, we got some dates.
First of all, I apologize to everybody in Tampa.
We had to reschedule.
The new dates are April 10th through 13th.
By the way, I know some of you guys bought tickets not from the website and they're giving you a hard time with refunds.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm trying to figure out what to do.
I don't know what I can.
But from now on, please buy your tickets directly from the website link on my website.
But in the meantime, I got shows coming up.
January 23rd through 25th.
We sold out all the shows in Sacramento.
We had an eighth and ninth show on Sunday.
So we're doing nine shows now, guys.
We're fucking killing it.
January 26th, January 31st through February 1st.
We're going to be in West Des Moines, Iowa.
Again, I cannot believe there's a West Des Moines.
February 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be in Brea.
Those tickets are selling out to hurry up and buy those.
February 27th through March 1st, I'm going to be at Zane's in Nashville.
All those dates and a bunch more getting added to my website, AkashSing.com, Omaha, Columbus, we're coming through.
I'm going to see you guys.
Denver, I'm coming back through for 420 and doing another high show.
But guys, buy your tickets or selling the fuck out.
Akashing.com.
Love y'all.
See y'all soon.
Are there really Ghanaians in LA?
I think there's a big Ghanaian.
I'm just saying.
No, we don't have it.
If there was no fire, no one would be safe.
Shit.
Come on.
It's not that big of a deal.
Let her take a trip or two.
Not saying a fucking word when you get on the plane is insane.
I don't know what we're talking about, dude.
What is that line?
Yeah, yeah.
If my aunt had wheels, she would be a bicycle.
There's a lot of ifs here.
But the reality is she went on a trip internationally that she didn't have to go on.
It was indulgent.
And it coincided with the worst tragedy in Los Angeles in history.
And, you know, yeah, what is LA's relationship with Ghana?
Like, why do they need like good...
She wanted to go to Ghana.
She wanted to go to Ghana, yo.
She wants the government to pay for it.
Simple as that.
That's the place to go.
There's no fire in Ghana.
There's no wind in Ghana.
And before she left on the trip.
Listen, they're going to try to find people accountable.
None of these people like wanted this to happen.
None of these people made the wind happen, but there might have been decisions that made the situation worse.
And you can hold them accountable for that shit.
And I don't think that's politicizing it.
No.
No, with home funding is corny.
Yes.
And that is politicizing.
And that's hurting people's lives.
So you're actively hurting their lives.
If that's happening, they should be criticized for that too.
People did this with Ted Cruz when he left to go to Cancun.
I hate him still to this day.
Fuck him.
But have you ever had to cancel a family vacation?
And you know how stressful that is?
Like, think about also his perspective, like having to tell your wife and kids, like, hey, we're not going to Cancun.
No, no, it wasn't a planned family vacation, dude.
He escaped Texas because governmental failure from Texan politics that are like, hey, we don't want to share the energy grid with the rest of the country because we are our own country.
So we just have our own energy grid.
And then the whole fucking power shut down throughout the state.
Since he had no power, he's like, well, I'm out.
I'm leaving the dogs.
I'm going to Cancun on the only flight out of here.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's why fuck Ted Cruz forever.
And you're a Republican bitch for that.
And I don't care.
Like, this is a very easy thing to do.
I don't understand how we can't both just do it.
Why is it?
He's politicizing this, bro.
Right.
And of course, Texas is right there.
Quick flight.
Boom.
In and out.
There wasn't like a mayor of Cancun getting inaugurated or something.
He might have been political.
He might have been going to see Bad Bunny or do something.
I don't know.
You just fucked that guy.
And then fuck it.
Fuck you standing on the fucking tarmac having nothing to say when your city's on fire.
It's your city.
What if she just sprinted?
What if she just got off the plane and just full sprint?
And then it'd be fun.
She better be running like a fucking Ghanaian.
She better picked up his feet.
Then it'd be fun.
I don't even understand.
They interviewed her and she was just like, dude, dad's silent, looking down.
It was crazy.
What do you want to say?
What is she supposed to say?
Like, have her prepared answers.
You had a whole fucking international flight to prepare answers.
She went my flight.
It's too much.
Yeah, you just made him sick again.
What the fuck, bro?
So what ends up happening?
Well, did you see the reservoir wasn't filled up?
I heard somebody press in Newsome about that.
The woman, the mom?
Yeah.
I mean, that's the funniest lady in the world.
That woman runs the PTA.
Like, it's the Marines, bro.
Did you see her?
She goes, Governor Newsome, you need to call the president.
Where's Biden?
And she's like, he's like, I'm going to call him.
I have no cell service.
And she goes, put me on the phone with the president.
I love it.
I love it.
Get your shit.
Imagine you're watching your mom on TV.
Like, no, she's trying to talk to the president.
Excuse me.
That's what you need.
That's mayor in that dude right there.
That gets shit done.
She's demanded.
It's president of the United States.
That mayor, Karen, is way better than this mayor, Karen.
Can y'all explain to me this smelt thing, the fish?
No.
Oh, yeah.
Or the jet fuel, it can't melt them.
So, people think it's a control demolition.
Is that what you're talking about?
I just fucking hate him.
Like, apparently, there's no water because they're trying to protect the smell.
Damn, dude.
What?
Shower.
I'm deodorant.
No, smell me.
Smell me.
Smell me.
I can't even laugh on you.
I will laugh on you because you smell so horrible.
No.
How bad did he smell?
You're sick, bro.
Don't even touch me.
Yeah, no, the fact that it goes through that.
That's how you smell.
No, I can't smell it.
I put him in deodorant before specifically, bro.
Come on.
Nah.
You've been wearing that color palette for a month.
I just thought it was similar types of clothing, but it's the same thing from yesterday.
It was white when I bought it.
Oh, God.
All right.
So, wait, what were we just saying?
Smell the Pan Sage Reservoir.
Explain this fish shit.
Like, everybody's like, we could have.
I think it was Trump and Rogan who maybe started this conversation, but basically, they could have taken water from, I don't know if it's Northern California or even Canada.
I think it's from up there to protect it's a threatened fish, and instead of diverting it to reservoirs, they diverted it to the ocean instead of bringing it to the reservoirs in an effort to protect the fish.
Right.
I heard it wouldn't have made a difference.
That's what I'm trying to get to.
It feels so easy.
The big thing was an empty.
But what kind of fish is it?
Little.
It's a little.
It's like a middle.
Nah.
It is.
But it's like it just dictates the healthiness of your ocean if that particular fish is around.
It's one of the indicators that you have like a healthy environment.
Shit.
Some bullshit.
Oh, the Delta smelt.
Trump is also, you know, he's having fun right now.
Trump is really having fun.
Talk to me.
He's just saying whatever the fuck he wants to say.
Like all, even the shit last week, the Gulf of America.
I love it.
Oh, dog.
Him and when we had that progressivism is dead conversation, it was based on me seeing him and Barack chopping it up at the funeral.
Yeah.
It was also very funny.
And I was like, oh, it's, we're all done with all this progressive shit.
Oh, yeah.
Trump is about to dominate the shit.
Dems about to be popping.
No, I think the Dems are going to come back strong.
Yeah, They just need somebody that's engaging.
And the problem is, all these people that exist within the system right now are kind of indoctrinated by the Dem policy and the Dem rhetoric.
So I don't think it's going to be one of these people that we're seeing or that we've seen for the last like eight years at least.
I think it's got to be a new voice that pops up that's a rejection of that, but isn't all the way right.
Yo, what's crazy?
I took a sniff of him and he just cleared my fucking sinuses.
Got you.
I got you, bro.
Mark's vapor rub, bro.
That's what I do.
I got you.
Are you good?
You bad?
That's crazy.
Yo, you need to bottle that up.
Sell that shit on CBS, bro.
Trump released the official audio of the last conversation.
This guy, he don't give a fuck.
It's crazy.
Brock, very nice to see you.
Congratulations.
How are you doing?
I'm a lot better, Dad.
Hell, I bet.
Oh, really?
Well, come on.
You know what I realized?
Hillary still hates me so much.
I know.
She'll never forget.
Damn.
He's just.
We can definitely set something up.
Let me know whatever you're gonna do tomorrow for the girls.
Okay.
Watch this move.
So she's supposed to go first, but she ain't want to be right in front of Trump.
So she makes her husband go around.
Oh, God.
Oh.
He's just eyeing her down, bro.
Come on.
Did you see that?
She won't even look at me.
Willie?
Some of her people, apparently, they said she fell off the wagon.
I think she actually made it.
I made jokes of all time.
It's a shit person.
He don't give a fuck.
Isn't that refreshing?
It's fun, dude.
It is refreshing.
It's fun.
So much giving a fuck.
We need to have a nice few years without giving a fuck for us to go, hey, maybe we should give a fuck a little bit.
Do you know what I mean?
I hope you're right.
You just needed four years.
You need a five years.
What was actually bad about this?
Except for she fell off the wagon.
Was she sober?
I don't think so.
I think that was like one of the rumors.
You know, they just start throwing shit out there.
Trump is demented.
Kamal's an alcoholic.
Kama's on Coke.
They're just doing all these things.
So I think that's a reference to that.
But that's it.
Outside of that, everything else is just funny.
I mean, other fact that it's not real.
The president's who cares?
That's fire.
It's funny.
We should have been funny.
Don't we?
And that the ethos of this podcast fucking podcast are you on?
It's the best.
It is the best.
I hope it's good.
Do you see old Bush tapping up his boy?
Oh, that was sick, dude.
This one right here.
This is the funniest thing.
What do you mean?
Just frat star, like W just walking in, seeing his homie.
Barack, yeah, right here.
Yo, what's up, playo?
Like, that's how he greets the other president.
That's fire.
I didn't see that one.
Guys, hop off his dick.
That's fire.
The little tap to the tummy.
The ditty on Justin Bieber checks.
That's fire.
Yo, hop off his dick.
That's fire.
I'm saying the same shit about Trump 10 years from now.
He was actually coming.
I mean, if he did it with some swag, that was a little swag with him.
He was like, yo, what's up, my nigga?
He catches.
That's exactly what it was.
He said it.
But they had just been hanging out.
He's like yapping up.
Because him and fucking the wife, they hang out all the time.
That would be the best part of being part of this shit.
What?
Fucking TikTok?
Nope.
After being president and just hanging with the other presidents, being like, yo, that shit was fucking funny.
Wasn't it wild?
Like, that would be the most fun part.
We got to learn something.
I kind of think that they don't really learn that much.
I don't think there's that much new information they have that we don't.
Because Trump, what?
I mean, necessarily.
Because Trump would have said it.
I don't think he's capable of keeping his mouth shut.
I think if it's gun to your head, which it literally probably is, they already tried that on him.
They tried gun to his head.
I think Secret Service is like, we will get you.
We're here 24 hours a day.
You leak some of this shit.
We will get you.
I mean, I understand your point, and I'd like to validate it so you feel fulfilled.
Thank you.
You're such a good partner.
Now I'm going to give an example why I think you're completely.
Oh, no, that's not fair.
You can't do that.
Then you're gaslighting.
Trump And The Gun To His Head00:05:57
Damn, bro.
I'd be practicing horrible communication three times a week without coming into podcasts.
That's literally all we do is disagree to give examples and metaphors.
Wow.
Anyway, is that why there's no female podcast?
Is that why there's no female podcast?
There's really none.
That is so funny.
How many female?
Well, who is?
It's Caller Daddy.
Yeah.
Canceled.
What's canceled?
What's their names?
You're so gay.
Yeah, I know this.
It's only true crime.
True crime is the only female podcast.
Horrible decisions.
Horrible decisions.
You're so gay for knowing that.
But they're gay.
They're gay.
So it's half guy.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it's true.
I don't even consider that fully female.
There's too much alpha going on.
Literally.
Brianna Chicken Fried had a pod.
Had to shut it down.
Second she started disagreeing with her friend.
They're like, oh, we can't possibly have a podcast over here.
I'm like, that's when it gets hot.
I just don't, there's no female podcast for this reason.
This type of conversation just doesn't exist.
Girls gotta eat.
Giggly squad, that's one.
Giggly squad.
Giggly.
Shouts.
Oh, I like it.
Mel Robbins, the number three podcast in the world.
Guys, I was making more of like a loose comment.
But notice how you guys are disagreeing and giving examples.
And it's creating a really fun moment for the pod.
This is what we have to get women to understand.
We need to validate it.
Yeah, can you validate this person?
What's that even to feel like that?
The president knows as much as us.
There you go.
I agree.
Fuck you.
You fucking.
I can't believe you said that.
I don't agree with that.
I'm not a f smelling arms.
I'm agreeing with you.
You fucking big old.
You smell fish, fella.
Go bands and smell.
Disgust me.
The delta smells.
You disgust me.
Oh, my God.
Had enough.
Yes, the president doesn't know all the stuff.
I'm being dead serious right now.
I think he knows like I think they tell him like if you're allowed to park there during the day.
Like, I think he got an app that's like, oh, they'll give you a ticket.
Where like the rest of us, we got to read the sign.
I think that's the extent to the information that he has over us at this point right now.
And even that's getting mitigated.
Have you seen that AI app?
You can just take a picture of a sign.
It tells you if you can park there.
That's how lazy we've gotten.
What?
Yeah.
There's no way.
There's an app.
Like, people don't want to read a sign, so they just take a picture of it, and then the app's like, nah, you can't park.
What do you mean, don't want to?
We read it, but it's incredibly complicated.
It's so confusing.
He'll say, no parking Tuesday, Saturday, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
And then right below it, no parking anytime.
And you'll be like, well, what the fuck does that mean?
Why do you even have the top sign?
That is a good point.
That is a good point.
You feel validated when he said that?
I'm not so good.
That shit is so gay.
You know, this shit is so gay, right?
Doesn't you feel better when your boy frustrates, is frustrated, like tries to create an argument.
It's not as good.
That's like a way better form of communication.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree.
All right.
So, yeah, I just don't think that he has that much more information.
Do you really think that he knows the Epstein list outside of being there?
Yeah, outside of being on the island, like frequently and like experiencing what that underage is like.
I'm not validating this one.
I'm not validating this one.
Yo, what?
You don't think he was dabbling in a smell?
You got a delta smell, though?
Yeah, that was that underage pun.
Come on out.
No, I don't think he was fucking underage girl, bro.
I don't think he was getting after that pun.
You guys think he was?
That smell.
That's a Delta smell?
Yeah, Delta smell, bro.
That's why LA's on fire.
That shit is bait when you go fishing.
Yeah.
That's why.
I agree.
Yeah, you're right.
That sucks.
Right?
Yeah.
It sucks to do this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give me one thing you think he knows that we don't know.
JFK assassination?
Yeah.
There's no way.
Yeah.
There's no way.
I believe he knows.
He would tell everyone.
The second he sat down with us.
He was like, Iran did it.
I think because we did it, you know, we want to point that out.
Wait, what would I say that again?
We did.
It could have been like government.
Oh, so he was protecting them.
Yeah, probably under threat.
I think he'll talk after this round.
Oh, that's also true.
He needed a win.
He doesn't want his head to really go get shot off.
I agree with that, though.
I don't know if they give him historical files.
Can you just not start the sentence with I agree with?
Just say that exercise.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't tell me you agree.
I don't feel comfortable with you.
I disagree with you.
I don't think they tell him the historical files.
I think they just tell him what's going on right now.
They say, hey, Rush is trying to kill everybody.
Yeah.
That's what you got to know.
And he goes, what about JFK?
And they go, why are you bringing up bullshit?
But what about Pearl Harbor?
Did that even happen?
Did that happen?
Do you guys honestly think that happened?
I think I've made this joke before.
Walk me through it.
They were trying to land, right?
Like they were trying to land the planes, and they just had never done it successfully, right?
Like, that wasn't an attack.
Tourism.
Kamikazis is just like fucking Japan hair tracking.
Yeah, they're just trying to land the planes.
That's funny.
And they just haven't figured that out yet societally.
They were running on shingled roofs for 2,000 years.
Then you come up with plane, you're gonna fucking land it.
They can't even say Wright Brothers.
Respectful.
Hey, thanks.
You did it in the most respectful way.
Yeah, thank you.
Baby BBLs That Fail00:03:23
Do you have good color in your cheeks?
I feel like you look good.
Hey, thanks, man.
This is the best you've looked in years.
For real.
No, for real.
You do look great.
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah.
I need to be sick more often.
Yeah.
And thanks for getting ready.
Not coughing in your hands.
That genuinely bugs me.
If I see someone sneezing their hands, you need to shut up about how you're going to be able to do that right now.
That is a real sick.
That's true.
You have to be a little bit more.
You have to fucking nerve.
No, I'm not contagious because if I smell...
Tell them out.
What the hell is that?
That's Grandma Al right there.
Grandma Al.
You got some fucking nerve, boy.
Come around my house telling me I can't cough in my hands.
I had this hand for 93 years.
I cough in whatever hand I want.
Right?
That's crazy.
I really got that.
You fucking old granny on you just got to be a little bit more.
I let Grandma out.
That's fine.
Nah, but you stink, nigga.
Shut up.
I don't.
I put on fucking old fights before this, bro.
Come on.
I did my best.
Yes, I did.
That's cancerous.
You wouldn't put that on.
You put beef taps on.
Do you not do it in nature?
Do you not do it because of the someone told you it's cancerous?
I don't want the aluminums right on my lymph nodes.
Exactly.
He's that.
He is so Williamsburg to the core.
No.
I use natural.
I use NAT.
I take like the essential oils and shit.
I had to stop my wife from using that natural beyond her because she smelled natural.
Exactly.
See, I was like, yo, what is going on?
She's like, there's a lot of hormones after pregnancy.
I was like, right, garden.
You need mail.
You need mail.
Something's going on with your armpits.
This is the same thing happened at my house.
And I was like, nah, you need the aluminum.
You need the aluminum.
You got to get the fucking tinfoil out and wrap that shit around her underarms.
Yo, my wife would sleep like this and like with her head turned this way and be breathing that shit into my nose.
Shoot.
Nah.
That's crazy.
That's a natural woman till they go full nature and then you're like, well, who wants a natural woman?
What is this?
We want natural women.
You can see a girl with a BBL and fucking huge tits and everyone's like, oh, I want a natural.
They haven't figured the BBLs out, but the rest of the shit they figured out.
They figured out.
Filler's good.
The baby BBLs and show me a baby BBL that works.
The thing is that don't.
I'm not Google on that.
That's crazy.
I'm not even getting close to my computer about that.
Tell a purple.
Type in baby and let's see the next three letters that come on afterwards.
It's going to be good.
You guys, what do you think?
All right.
Yes, we do think that about it.
All right, ready?
Here we go.
Baby.
Fuck, we put baby BBL.
No.
Just put it.
If somebody actually created a website for that, that's disgusting.
BBL Baby is a hip-hop song by Cash Patek.
I feel like that's the CIA director.
Yeah, no, it's a mini BBL.
That's what they call them in the biz.
I got a pee.
I mean, I can see how Al fucked that up.
The issue, the issue, if we're actually going to discuss BBLs on this, you know, high bar podcast, what is it?
Highbrow podcast is the hips.
They can't get the hips right.
And then they try to.
That's nice.
That's the same ass.
That's what the baby ones are.
It's more about shape thing.
Medical Malpractice In Surgery00:03:36
It's not trying to get it too crazy.
Okay.
If you already got ass, you're not part of the discussion.
No, they added some ass.
There's some ass that was added there.
Clearly.
Ooh, that's nice.
I mean, that one's good.
That's what I'm saying.
The baby BBL is the biggest.
But that girl already got ass.
I think what they can do is they can take girls that have ass and move it around so it looks better.
Yeah.
What I don't think they can do is take the girls who have no ass and then add an ass on it without the hip shelf.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It does look funny.
But why haven't they figured that out yet?
Why is the ass so much more difficult than tits or jaw or nose or all these other things?
I sometimes don't need a surgeon, bro.
I think his girl is going, give me the fattest thing possible.
Oh, so it's their decision.
I think it's user error a little bit.
Really?
Because when it first started, it was like, the bigger, the better.
Now it was starting to look a little ridiculous.
So now they're just perfecting this now.
And not enough people get it.
Call me crazy right now.
Crazy.
Thank you.
If you're a BBL surgeon, do you go like if you're a tattoo artist, do you go, I refuse to do that because it reflects on me?
This is what I think will work for you.
If you don't want this, then you have to go to somebody else to protect your brand.
Because if you see a botched BBL out there and someone's like, it's this doctor, nobody's going back to that doctor.
That's true, but I don't think they turned away any business.
Yeah.
The nature of that game is you get one thing, you just keep coming.
It is crazy to think like doctors are in the sales business.
Right?
Yeah.
Like surgery, you don't need all that shit.
Explain that a little bit more to me.
I'm trying to think if there's something unethical about this.
It is.
I remember I broke my finger in college.
I know you're not going to make this about your finger.
Are you talking surgery?
Only plastic surgery?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, wait, why?
What'd they say?
How'd you break it?
They said I. Exactly.
Exactly.
His own ass.
It's way more constant than the depths of the need.
No, break it down, break it down, break it down.
So, oh, you were saying he was upcharging you for a surgery.
Well, no, then they put a little cast on or whatever.
Then they send me to a plastic surgeon.
And the plastic surgeon's like, yeah, you need surgery.
It's going to be $4,000.
And I'm like, all right, I guess.
And then my mom's like, no, fuck that.
We go get a second opinion from my uncle's friend who's like a hand bone specialist.
And he's like, surgery is not going to fix anything.
You're still going to, it's still going to look fucked up afterward.
You're just going to go through pain and money you don't need to go through.
Just leave a sling on it and it's there.
Like leave the cast on and that's it.
How is that not considered medical malpractice?
That's insane.
They try to tell my mom that she had to get her thyroid taken out.
That's fucking crazy.
And they're like, yeah, you probably won't be able to have kids after that.
And she was like, what?
They tried to tell my mom she needed hysterectomy when she was like 35.
Wow.
Just remove the whole ovaries.
Yeah.
Training.
The whole uterus.
It's not tragic.
She wants to make it more trained.
Is that why I say hysterectomy?
I mean, what, wait, what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The whole uterus.
Take out the whole uterus.
What'd you do in there?
I don't know.
I must have fucked it up, to be honest.
I did damage or my dad did.
Badass kids.
No, for real.
And then she said, no.
No, she was just like, I'm not, no, I'm not doing that.
Like, that seems way too extreme.
And then she ended up being fine.
Wow.
It's crazy.
I feel like that should be medical malpractice.
It absolutely should be.
And they're doing it just because they could charge the insurance company whatever they get paid off of it.
Yeah.
We get paid crazy money and that's it.
Wow.
And then you're just taking out a woman's uterus.
And there's got to be some doctors that have done like 20 or 30 of these cases and then women are probably complaining about it or dudes are complaining about it now and nobody's talking about it.
Yeah.
That's some scumbag shit right there.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the whole back surgery thing with Mangiani.
Playoff Underachievers Reborn00:09:22
Happened with him.
It was like apparently in the there's like a back surgery racket that's going on.
Okay.
Where like the saying is like the first back surgery is unnecessary, but the second one is necessary.
And why is that fixed what the first one did?
Yeah.
And that like they're over-prescribing medical intervention on backs.
So now you're doing, you're in this back surgery loop where you just constantly.
I heard that about hip too.
Makes sense.
Like I think they've found some version of correcting this, but essentially like you want to push off hip surgery as far as you can because it needs to be resurfaced, I think it's called like every 10 years.
So they were just chopping off your hip and then putting like a fake one in place now.
And I think that they have like a better version of it.
But yeah, what is the balance of that?
Like if you're dentistry, they always rushing to pull a tooth.
They're rushing together.
First time I went to the dentist in LA, they said I had 10 fillings.
And I was like, I'm freaking out again.
My mom was like, go get a second opinion.
Guy goes, he goes, you have two, two cavities we need to fill.
Yeah.
You got to start in your family.
I feel like you know somebody dogs.
Yeah, why are you going to stop going outsource?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just if I fucked that up.
This is all when I was in college right out of college.
Ever since then, I don't, yeah.
Only brown doctors.
I don't trust anybody else.
And I got to know you.
You trust the brown doctors.
Yeah, yeah.
Interesting.
Shouts.
Omar.
Omar's great.
Yeah, shouts.
Yeah.
But that's it.
Keep it in the family.
See?
This is what happens.
My doctor's brown.
Yeah, no.
Well, yeah, I guess we're both sick so we can do that.
He knows you.
He was like, do you work with Arkash C?
It's like, how do you say it?
Oh, yeah, I tried to do it.
Oh, actually, cool, cool announcements in the world of the greatest sport that's ever existed.
And the only people that would disagree with it are the people that have not played it yet.
And that is Paddle.
The Reserve Cup down in Miami.
Reserve is this amazing paddle facility, but it's also a company that's like really being like the ambassadors of Paddle.
And they put on this thing called the Reserve Cup in Miami.
And I'm going to go down next week, like Wednesday through Saturday.
So I'm going to go down there.
I'm going to get to be a captain of one of the teams.
That's sick.
Me and Derek Jeter.
That's so fucking sick.
That's so fucking sick.
And I got to tell Derek, I got to say, listen, winner gets a gift basket.
I think that's a very fair thing to pitch to him.
I'm also trying to find a way to pitch that to him without that being our first interaction.
You know what I mean?
He's a happily married man.
He's got a beautiful family.
But I want a gift basket.
Anyway, so yeah, so that's going to be happening out there.
And if you want to see paddle at the highest level, if you're someone who like listens to pod, you like paddle.
I think what's cool about this setup is, so they have these teams.
The players usually play with each other.
Obviously, it's a two-on-two sport.
But with this, we can choose the teams through a lottery.
So we can teams could be different and could be teams that have never been.
So it could be you and like a pro player.
Well, there's going to do like pro-am.
There's going to be a charity.
We're going to raise some money.
And, you know, we should give the money to the fire.
Oh, that'd be sick.
That would be the right thing.
That's fucking sick.
Yeah.
I suggested a different charity because that was before LA was on fire.
It was still a charity.
But it was still a charity.
But yeah, we should actually do this for fire.
And then we decide which one's more worthy of the money.
I was going to say IVF, like fertility stuff.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
But too bad for you guys.
LA's breaking so hard.
We got to rebuild some billionaires' homes in that.
So anyway, but yeah, so that's going to be next week.
Wednesday, we're going to do the draft.
And then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, they got the thing.
So go down there.
And we need steak to be able to gamble on paddle.
That's right.
There's all these like, all these guys that got money to do these like side matches where they're like putting real money on games.
Yeah.
My thing is like, I don't gamble on anything that I actually enjoy doing because it will make it too enjoyable.
Do you know how fantasy football makes you so excited about teams you don't even fucking care about?
So I'm just like, I got to stay away.
Imagine you win a paddle game and like 10 grand.
I don't want to even think about that.
I'll quit everything.
I'll tell my wife, I think I figured it out for the next 20 years of my life.
Anyway, so the Reserve Cup down there, you can go get tickets.
I'm sure they'll put some kind of link, but like, go check it out.
It's a really awesome setup and they got it catered and it's beautiful.
It's right there on the water.
Go check it.
I think you guys will really like it.
And they are great ambassadors for Paddle.
Like the guys who are involved really love the sport.
There's no money in this sport right now.
It's literally people who are obsessed with it and they're putting their own money up to make these things successful.
So go check it out.
I think it's going to be like the premiere experience and I'll be there talking shit.
So if you want to, matter of fact, if you want to get a game and get that ass kicked, I'll play you with my pro of my selection.
I'll play any two people out there in Miami as long as I have a pro of my selection on my table.
That's very fair.
I feel like that's fair.
Very fair.
I might even put some money on it.
Anyway, okay, so outside in sports that are not as interesting and not as obsessive, there are some pretty much more niche sports.
Yeah, let's talk about the niche sports.
The NFL.
Yeah.
Oh, what's that?
The playoffs are happening.
Oh, there's a playoffs.
Okay, got it.
Got it.
So tell us what's going on here.
Yo.
We have some interesting scenarios.
Is Zach Coshman in Oracle?
No, actually, I was wrong about the Texans.
I thought they kind of limped into the playoffs, but they beat the fuck out of it.
Who did they play?
I forget who they played.
The Chargers.
They beat the shit out of them.
And then the LA Rams play the Minnesota Vikings, who everybody thought was like the second best team in the conference.
Didn't you say Vikings could make it all the way?
That's what everybody had convinced me.
And I hadn't watched this fucking guy.
So I watched this guy, Sam Darnold.
I watched him one game early in the season.
He's like a, he was drafted very highly and then really struggled in the pros.
And then the Vikings are winning with him as quarterback.
It's kind of like a one-year option, but they keep winning.
And then I watch one game against the Colts and he doesn't look that good, but they win.
So I'm like, whatever.
That was middle of the year.
And then I keep hearing about him and they keep winning.
So I'm like, maybe I just happened to watch a bad game.
Maybe they're really fucking good.
People are picking them to go to the Super Bowl.
I haven't been watching enough.
I see him against Detroit, gets his ass beat.
And then I see in this week get his ass beat again.
And I'm like, well, this guy was exactly who the fuck we all thought he was.
You convinced us of something else.
He's not that.
Also, I think LA is playing for something now.
They play at LA and LA just throttled.
So LA is playing the Eagles.
And I am an Eagles hater.
I would love for LA to win.
I don't know how long they can sustain this emotional thing.
But I do think it's possible they have a fucking cause that is unlike any other cause out there right now.
So I think LA is a dark horse that is pretty scary in that sense.
Okay, so you choose LA.
So I would put LA to cover.
I don't know what the spread is going to be.
I imagine it's going to be fairly high.
I put LA.
I hope Detroit wins.
They should win.
They're the seemingly best team in the league, probably.
And then the AFC, the best game is going to be the Ravens and the Bills.
That's going to be the best game of the whole playoffs, I think.
Because these are two really good teams.
Both quarterbacks are really fucking good.
They just can't beat Patrick Mahomes.
And now they have this kind of reputation of being like playoff underachievers.
But in reality, they're just going up against Jordan.
Yeah.
But then them two going head to head to see who could theoretically play Mahomes.
That's a good fun game.
It's going to be such a fucking great games all around.
I think I'm going to go with the Bills.
I actually think the Bills, I think this is their year, I think.
Okay.
To go to the Super Bowl.
And then I think the Chiefs will win.
The Texans look better than I thought, but I think the Chiefs will win.
Okay.
So those are my picks.
Also, the Cowboys coach basically just left.
He just pieces.
Oh, I thought he was.
I thought he was.
So his contract, so Jerry doesn't like paying any like he wouldn't fire the coach last year.
He was saying that.
Yeah, I believe he did.
Yeah, I love A.J.
Yeah.
So he just, his coach that should have been fired last year had a year left on the contract.
He's like, well, instead of firing him and paying him and hiring another coach, I'll just let his contract run out and waste everybody's life for a year.
And now his contract is up and they were trying to renegotiate.
And the coach, from what I'm hearing, the coach was like, I'm good.
This is Chip Kelly.
This is Mike McCarthy.
Sorry, Mike McCarthy.
Why am I thinking of Chip Kelly?
So now the, I don't know.
He's the offensive coordinator of some college team that's good.
Ohio State.
Okay.
But now the question is, who are the Cowboys going to get to be their coach?
There's one option that excites me.
Dion.
Deion.
Oh.
Wow.
Deion, I'd be so funny.
I thought there was interest in the Raiders' job because I think they just fired Antonio Pierce.
So yeah, apparently Tom Brady's trying to get, who actually probably will be the best coach is Ben Johnson from the Lions.
He's their offensive coordinator.
Apparently Tom Brady's trying to get him.
You know, it's funny.
You get an owner who cares and knows how to win.
Things can change.
But Ben Johnson's going to want 15 to 17 million a year.
I don't think Jerry's going to pay that.
Deion might not cost that much, but he has an $8 million buyout at Colorado.
I don't know if the Cowboys owner is going to want to pay $8 million.
In order for him to leave Colorado.
Yeah.
So I don't know if that happens, but if that happened, I'd be excited.
It'd be so fun.
It'd be the most fun.
You know, what's so crazy with sports, like the amount of money the players are making now?
$8 million is an absurd amount of money.
Yeah.
But when you said it, my knee-jerk reaction was like, oh, well, why wouldn't the Cowboys just buy out $8 million?
Also, the Cowboys are worth the most valuable franchise on the fucking planet.
Owners Who Know How To Win00:08:29
Yeah.
$12 billion or whatever.
Well, it's $8 million.
But he just doesn't spend.
He's like Donald Sterling now.
He just doesn't spend money.
Got it.
Okay.
Unless it's the place in St. Bart that he wants to stay up for a time.
But yeah.
He's a great guy.
He's a really great guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel the same way.
It's so great when he doesn't own your team also.
No, that I believe that I would love.
Phenomenal.
And I would love.
Yes.
Yeah.
If I was like a Commanders fan or whatever, I'd fucking love this.
Yeah, there's nothing that makes you feel more comfortable than when a league rivals owner and GM is partying in St. Bart's post of the season.
Yeah.
As he has no head coach.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, anyway, look, so if you're going to put some money down, if you're going to take the Akash picks, you're going to go to Stake Stake, obviously the leader in global betting at U.S. social casinos, been on top sports and political events, use the promo code Flagrant for your new welcome bonus.
Now, let's get back to the show.
Get the aluminum off your lymph nodes.
All right.
Stop using all these chemicals.
Do a coffee enema once or six times a day and you'll be fine.
All right.
Big medicine doesn't want you to know about the coffee enema.
Okay.
Detox your colon.
What about you holding a laptop on your balls for the last four years?
Not on my balls.
I keep it intentionally off my sack and I also don't ride that low.
I'm staying pretty much perched the whole time.
I am.
It's true.
I am a little kiwi.
Does she do it in a tub?
Like, where?
I'm trying to understand.
The whole shower, I think.
Same shower.
So you're standing?
Standing in the doo-doo.
I'll be honest.
I think it's a laying down thing.
Oh, goodness.
I think it's laying down.
But then it's getting on her back, dog.
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
She's got legs up in.
Yeah, I know.
But then the shit is.
So where does the contents go?
Well, you lay with it.
Probably down towards the drain.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like cleaning out a Jeep.
You got to be on the hill and then kind of just let it all move out.
I haven't asked.
I haven't looked at.
I mean, we can look into it.
I've been tagged in so many fucking Instagram posts.
And they don't know what it looks like.
And then when there's going to be like chunks of poop that come out, does she got to like smush it down?
You got a waffle stomp a little bit, probably.
Oh, my God.
Come on, man.
Check your man.
Why is it up to me?
No.
Why is it up to me to make him a normal human being?
I don't do it.
I don't do it.
I don't do it, bro.
Okay, here we go.
Andrew did a lot of work.
He took him out of Florida.
He did as much as he could.
We got him out.
Look, we're biohacking.
Look, you prepared.
She got a French roast.
Yeah.
This is crazy.
You can pick the one you want, okay?
You do the French press.
Pour over.
Yeah, exactly.
And then you get this little tube here.
I've heard of people doing everything.
Your liver is on your right side.
So to me, laying on the right side makes a lot more sense.
Yes.
You just kind of lay in a little bit like the fetal position.
Yes.
Your knees are tucked a little bit.
Oh, so she's sighed.
I'm not going to be showing this to you guys.
So I hope this is enough of a visual for you.
You're going to insert your lubricated tip.
Oh, she's got to say that.
That part seems crazy.
Come on, that night.
You don't have to say that part.
I know she was lubing it up too.
Does your mom have an issue with constipation?
I've never asked.
I don't know the nature of the past.
I mean, there must be something.
Yeah.
I've genuinely, it doesn't get discussed in the home.
Has she ever tried just drinking coffee?
Like, that's pretty effective.
Yeah, it works very well.
If the issue is constipation, yeah.
I mean, she does do that.
Yeah.
I think she's taking it both ways.
Just like your grandma.
Raising a fan.
Crackley Sprints this one.
Wait, how'd you find out?
I just saw a giant bag in the shower.
So you asked her about it.
No, I asked one of my siblings and I was like, yo, what is that bag?
And they're like, oh, coffee enema.
And I said, all right, well, I guess we'll never talk about that.
I'm on the podcast.
I'll just keep that a family secret until a million people watch.
And here we are.
I love this shit.
She makes sounds.
Like, do you have to?
No, like, are you on her breakfast?
Why is that just part of it?
She's not at the table.
She's not at the table.
Stop.
Stop.
What the heck?
I need to know what sound she makes, bro.
That's important to me.
With all due respect.
With all due respect, I need to know a sound.
No, there's no sound problem.
Does she try to muffle it?
What do you mean?
Does she throw like the towel over her mouth and you just hear like, no, no one bites the pillow.
It's not the whole thing.
Not bite it, but like, does she try to, you know, you know, in like the Denzel movies where you throw the pillow over the mouth before you?
Yes, I agree with you.
You know.
Begrudgingly, and unfortunately, mom, I agree with you fully.
Have you ever tried one?
I've never tried one.
You should try one for the pod, dude.
They can help relieve constipation.
They can detox bacteria, parasites, and heavy metals.
They can boost immunity.
And also, there's no scientific evidence to support teas.
All right.
But anti-aging, also, there's anti-aging.
There's a whole bunch of benefits.
Coffee enema, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just saying, look into it.
You guys' families are getting over-prescribed.
Oh, my mom has a different version of that.
She just drinks scotch until she passes out.
And that pretty much works.
Drinks scotch until you pass out and then fire off some gnarly email.
What enema is that?
That's a different purging.
It's a different type of toxic destroy your family dynamic.
It's a different everyone needs their own thing.
Okay.
Got it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Just get away from big medicine.
Yeah, but that is actually really effective.
If you guys have to try it out, like if your mom's struggling, just feed her scotch at four in the morning and then check her email the first thing you wake up.
That COS is C-C'd in it.
Oh, my wife.
That's cool.
She's definitely got to hear these feelings.
They should do that as a therapy.
Everyone gets shit faced and then they really start talking.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, every therapy I've ever been in is fully sober.
Yeah.
And they go, that's a problem.
How do you feel?
I go, I feel like.
You don't go to therapy?
No, I should.
Oh, I always.
I'm always.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I'll be making shit up.
You pre-gave this.
Oh, you did that.
Yeah.
I have a couple shots of repo and then let's purge this shit.
I'll be making shit up too.
Yeah, my fucking grandfather touched me.
And then three weeks later, be like, yeah, my grandparents all died before I was born.
Like, yeah, I was hammered.
Yeah, I was hammered.
You just got to keep it interesting.
Eventually, you get through all your trauma and you're like, well, I don't want to let them down.
They need this every week.
Yeah, exactly.
What would they do?
What would they do?
Akasha?
Continue to listen to you and make money.
You think they do that?
You think therapists do that at all?
Do you think they're like trying to like, I can't fix them too quick?
Oh, yeah.
Let's stretch this out a little bit.
I mean, maybe those therapy sessions are mad short.
I remember I went to one and they're like, all right, it's an hour-long sesh.
And they go, well, technically, it's 50 minutes.
And then the first eight minutes is how you doing?
Yeah.
And the last five minutes is debrief.
So you got 30 minutes to unpack your entire life trauma.
Isn't it funny when the time is about to run out and they got to like politely?
Just start talking about some heavy shit.
The two end of this, like you see them kind of clocking and being like, oh, so that must have been dead.
So I don't know if we have enough time to figure this out.
And you're like, I'm getting molested right now.
I don't have another week to deal with this.
They're magnificent at buttoning it up.
We should talk to a therapist about that.
What is the gnarliest thing that you've had to button up because there wasn't enough time?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think people also kind of do it on purpose.
They see the clocks running out and they're like, all right, let me just dump some shit and then keep it moving.
Hell yeah.
And so they just get it all out and they're like, yeah, I talked about it.
But then they don't actually work on it and then they can keep it pushing.
So it's like, that's what you do.
Of course.
You got to just dump right at the end.
Your therapists don't just remember the next week.
So you told me you got fucked in the ass by the end of the session.
How could they remember?
That's the thing.
How can they remember?
Yeah, but like, it don't ever look like they got it dewey decimaled.
You know, they got 15 different people who are retarded that they're talking to every single story.
There's no way that those stories don't kind of cross.
Yeah, I mean, that could happen.
Have you ever had your therapists think that your story was someone else's?
No, that would be crazy.
Bring it up.
That's crazy.
And then you should go in there for two months.
You never get back.
So you tried to kill yourself?
You're like, maybe.
Man, it was crazy.
I was drunk.
I don't even remember.
I had the toaster in the oven and everything.
In the oven.
In the bath.
That is double suicide, bro.
Sylvia's plant with the toaster.
That's crazy.
Yeah, we gotta have, we gotta talk to a therapist.
But I guess there's, oh, that was the question I wanted to ask.
Therapists Confusing Your Story00:12:42
Is uh HIPAA, that rule where you basically can't share medical, uh, what is it, medical procedures or medical history?
Information history, yeah.
Can you share the thing that has happened and just not the person?
I have a patient.
Have you ever heard doctors?
I have a patient who came in.
Tough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
You just can't say who it is.
Got it.
It can't be too specific.
Because then you would know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A patient with back pain that killed a guy.
Yeah.
He's a CEO.
I'm going to know.
Wait a second.
Sounds familiar.
But yeah, I also don't believe that.
Anytime a doctor's like, oh, I have a patient.
That's just like a comic being like, well, today.
I'm like, oh, that's their today.
I was walking down.
Really?
Really?
I don't know.
Behind closed doors, they're just took it over to them.
They're talking about patients.
Oh, yeah.
That shit would happen all the time.
They're talking shit.
Yeah.
You talk shit about the patients by name, give them a nickname, some shitty name.
Fuck, I'm fucked up, right?
I'll be honest, when you took that breath right there, I didn't have any air left in the room.
That was such a strong breath.
I can't believe it.
For a moment, there was nothing left.
That shit pisses me off too.
When I fart in bed, but my wife gets the first smell of it.
God, like, she don't leave me at home.
How greedy, dude.
You know, you guys get up.
Like, I want that first smell of it.
I want the first bite.
Like, you know, when you get dessert, you're like, yo, let me at least get the first bite.
You never have a fart and you're like, oh, I'm ready.
And then your wife is just like, and now you got the remnant.
I got the crumbs.
Bro, what?
I got 40 seconds.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I get pissed at her for that shit.
She's like, why'd you fart?
I'm like, why'd you take it all in?
Let me take it all.
There'll be nothing left for you.
Can you hold your breath for two seconds?
You heard it come out.
No, I get way more enjoyment of the guessing game.
Like, did I fart or didn't I fart?
And then if she smelled it, then I thought at that time.
He's like, oh, she got some shit.
Oh, no.
When I fart, she thinks the neighbors are like moving furniture around.
There's no question.
That would never happen.
Anytime someone farts in my house, I'm like, is this a coffee shop?
It's fucking walking.
I was like, a fucking Starbucks.
It's an espresso.
That smells amazing.
You're the most fucking curious person, and you have not actually bought about this.
This is crazy.
You speak to fucking crazy people on the street every day.
You got to ask your mom.
Yo, can we call your mom real quick and just ask her about the coffee enemas?
No, no.
Come on, yo.
No, no, no.
That's too curse.
That's too curse because then she's going to be like, oh, you're talking about me.
Hopefully, she never watches the fucking pod.
Well, now she will.
It's going to come back to her.
I honestly don't think it's that bad.
I'm sure she believes in this.
I don't think that she's embarrassed one bit about it.
Your mom doesn't strike me as someone who does things regularly and is embarrassed by that.
That's fair.
Right?
Like, I mean, maybe.
I mean, we could just see how it goes and then cut it from the pot.
I didn't tell you you feel uncomfortable with how she feels.
We'll just see.
We'll just see.
Yeah.
It's going to be good.
Because maybe we should all be doing it.
I mean, obviously.
Yeah, she could.
What's up, mom?
I was just turn up volume.
We don't have volume.
And put it by your mic.
I just had a question, okay?
I'm here with some of my friends, right?
And by no means do you have anything?
Hi, Mrs. Gagnon.
Hi.
Hi, Ms. Gagnon.
Everyone says hi.
You don't have to talk about this if you wouldn't.
If you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to say a singular thing, but Mark keeps talking about the coffee enemas, and we need to know what the benefits are.
These guys don't believe in the benefits of coffee enemas.
And I said, oh, no, I think there are a lot of benefits.
And I wanted to ask you, are there any benefits to coffee enemas if you're willing to talk about it?
It increases glutathione, detoxes your liver.
Detoxes your liver, increases glutathione.
Good things.
Yeah, glutathione being a master antioxidant.
It was used, I think, originally during World War II or after World War II for social pain management.
So people have been doing this for 60, 70 years, maybe even longer.
Yeah, it's not new.
Not new at all.
Okay, so now, Mrs. Gagnon, it's Schultz.
Yes.
How do you create the time to do it without like everybody knowing that that's what's happening?
Why do you have to hide it?
That's what, that's what I'm talking about.
We knew you wouldn't be embarrassed about that.
You'd be embarrassed to talk about it, mom.
But do you go to the bathroom?
Is it like, is it something you could do publicly?
How is it done?
You generally don't do it publicly.
You do it in the privacy of your own bathroom.
Like if you were going to take a shower, you know?
Same thing.
Okay.
We once walked into the bathroom here and Mark had his legs in the air and we're like, what the hell is going on?
And there was no enema.
We were just like, why are you?
This is not a true story.
I would never do that.
You lie.
You do lie.
I know you lie.
She's like, I know you're lying.
Mark shower.
All right.
Well, this has been helpful.
Thank you so much.
Bye, Ms. Gags.
Thank you, Ms. Gagnon.
Thank you, Ms. Gags.
Mold-free coffee.
Do you want to try it?
I can give you all tips.
Yes.
We're all working on it.
We're going to try it.
Yeah.
We want the tip.
All right.
Thank you.
See, I knew it was going to be a normal, rational discussion.
She's very confident in herself.
Yeah.
If Mark's mom does anything, she is 1,000% confident in it.
Yeah.
She's already processed the judgment and dealt with it, and then she is out there in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she's.
Why is there anything to be ashamed of?
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Plug Alex up.
I didn't even handle it.
We got to plug you up.
We have to try it.
We have to try it.
As crazy as I might try to.
We're going to try it.
I feel like I'm already on the bidet.
It's the same shit.
How different is it?
You know what I mean?
How different really is it?
It's not different at all.
Exactly.
We all did it together.
Yes.
I think we should all do it.
Like a hookah.
We get eight of them lying.
We just fucking let it rip, dude.
Octopus.
That'd be fire.
See, we're going to get so fucking healthy.
We might need a hookah for the pod.
That could be a nice little vibe.
Fire.
I've been listening to Bad Bunny.
That shit would be fire.
That is a good idea.
It's nice for vibe.
Would that affect your asthma?
No, without smoking, I'm good.
But just being around the smoke?
I'm good.
You sure?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Why can't you smoke it?
He has asthma.
Can't breathe.
His body isn't built to be a human.
You don't take it in.
You just like.
No.
What's the shit with like with hookahs that they say you're not inhaling, but you're inhaling?
No, no, you're not inhaling.
How?
You once it goes in your lungs.
Isn't that an inhale?
I mean, like, do you inhale gum?
What?
You just put it in your mouth.
You don't.
No, you go, it goes down and then it goes back up.
No, no.
Yes, you do.
You don't have to do that.
Yeah.
There's a choice.
Oh, well, then all the people in the heights and every place that smokes hookah in clubs, they're inhaling it because in order to get that big cloud smoke, you have to.
I feel like you're explaining and justifying right now instead of just making me feel understood and what I'm suggesting.
Yeah.
Fuck this bitch shit.
It's like a cigar.
You don't inhale a cigar.
You just put it in your mouth.
Al does.
Al doesn't know how to not swallow.
It just doesn't add enough.
Cigars I could do.
But no, what hookah is supposed to.
No, you're not.
Yes, you are.
No, you're not.
I guarantee you're supposed to.
I promise you.
I think you're smoking.
You can do it both ways.
You can do it both ways, but it's obviously worse for you.
It's worse for you if you inhale it.
Healthy.
Oh, yeah.
If you want the flavor, just take it in and blow it out.
Yeah, but then you're not going to get a big cloud.
Oh, my God.
The point.
The big cloud.
No, it is all fun.
I don't even like doing it if there's wind around.
You can't blow the O's.
Yeah, you can't have fun with it.
That's the fucking part of it.
Yeah.
I've never actually done a hookah.
I've never been like, oh, let's all sit and do it.
We did in Morocco.
It's all of us.
But it's like, I feel like it wasn't like.
Why don't you take back what you just said?
Yeah, I know.
You just start.
Your mom was bad.
She threw a dagger at me.
I thought she was talking to me.
No, no, she's talking to Mark.
You're getting an email.
You're going to get an email.
You do lie.
Why did she even ever bring that up?
Yo, because she kept it a buck.
She was like, they're trying to set me up.
Watch me double down and shit right now.
She'll do a hookah with us.
What do you lie about to your mom?
What do we need?
What is that?
Trying to think.
I feel like Mark is not a liar.
Nah.
I feel like you taught him a couple.
To me, you're somebody who strikes me as someone who does not like to lie to the point where you actually have like uncomfortable conversations because you feel uncomfortable lying.
Yeah, I don't like to, I don't like to lie, but like in my mind, I would create a reality that's not actually real.
Can you give a...
I've never smoked hookah.
You did say that out loud.
Because in my mind, I'm like, I didn't like sit down and be like, oh, I'm going to chief this hookah.
I like hit it one time.
I was like, this is weird.
I never enjoyed it, I guess.
That's probably more accurate to say.
I didn't cheat on you.
That's what you just said.
Exactly.
Cheating is enjoying it.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
I was reluctantly having sex with this model.
I didn't want this.
But yeah, I don't know.
You don't get uncomfortable lying.
You say a lie and you feel like, ugh.
And then it just ruminates in your head forever.
And then you're like, I should call my friends in high school and be like, hey, man, that actually wasn't true.
No.
But the first half, yes.
But this is what I think.
This is the discomfort with the lie.
There's obviously like the moral shit that starts chipping away at you a little bit.
You're like, oh, am I going to get some bad karma for this?
I'm doing something that's wrong.
The other thing is the anxiety and exhaustion of keeping the lie going.
Yeah.
I think it is worse than just admitting, ah, actually, I did do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like that keeping the lie going is look at how unrelatable this is to Al right now.
I was trying to understand like it was the coffee anime.
So you don't just maintain this lie for the rest of your life.
Like, don't put that up.
No, I was going to follow up with like, what about white lies?
Like if somebody's like, uh, like, if somebody calls me, I'm like, oh, I'm busy right now.
Let me hit you back.
But I'm not busy.
I just don't want to talk to that person.
Yeah.
What about those lies?
Is that bad?
Because I do those all the time.
It took me about six months to realize that's how Charlamagne gets off the phone when we first met.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, oh, let me call you right back.
I'm like, all right, that.
And I'm just sitting there waiting for this call back.
I was like, can we go to dinner?
I'm like, I got this call.
Yeah, I learned that from him.
I learned that from him.
Like, I'll do that sometimes and then I regret doing it almost every time.
It's like, I'll just lie to keep the combo going.
People are like, oh, have you seen this movie?
And I'll be like, yeah.
And then they'll talk about it at length with me.
And I'm like, faking the combo.
And I'm like, and then I'll, an hour later, I'll call him and be like, by the way, I never saw a movie.
I'm sorry that I even said that.
Like, I was just kind of, I thought you were going to go somewhere else.
And I just said yes.
And then I regret it.
And I wish I could have just been like, no, I haven't seen it.
Tell me about it.
And it would have made life so much easier.
But instead, I was like, yeah, I've seen it.
Sure.
Whatever makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not comfortable sitting like that.
Why are you talking about it?
Tell me more about how that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Tell me more.
You're like too interesting.
You don't like being interested in what he has to say.
I'm like, Doug doesn't lie.
He doesn't like lying.
Yeah.
But you have that.
This is where I think like a religious background is very helpful because it's like this nudge in an ethical or moral direction.
So like I can see the concern you have about lying.
Now, he'll go as close to lying as you possibly can.
He'll like say a bunch of words that don't really mean anything and he'll get the thing that he needs, but he doesn't lie to get it.
He won't straight up say something that's not true.
Is that a fair action or statement?
Like you won't be like, oh, this horrible disaster happened.
I need this thing.
Please help me.
Right?
That's a little too far.
You're right.
You're right.
I won't cross that.
Yeah.
But omission.
I'll do that sometimes.
Yeah, yeah.
And you just try to be as honest as you can.
And then, you know, that's shockingly works out.
Like, like, I've one time, this is like a year ago, but like, there was a spot.
It was like super on the, super far away.
It was like a show I didn't want to do.
Yeah.
And it was super late and it was cold.
And I was like, I don't feel like doing this.
And the dude was like, hey, man, you're going to be here in like an hour or something.
I was like, my bike broke.
No, I can't say that.
I was like, I got, I slipped now.
I was like thinking of all these justifications.
And I just hit him.
I was like, hey, man, I'm just exhausted.
I just can't.
And he goes, yeah, no, it's totally fine.
Talking Like A Brothel Host00:03:21
See?
And it worked out.
Great.
But isn't omission just as bad?
This is where, this is where it gets into the discussion of maintaining the omission is almost as bad as maintaining the lie.
So like my wife goes, oh, what'd you guys do last night?
I forget where we were.
We went to some strip club or something like that.
We were in Hawaii, right?
And I was like, we went to some strip club.
Yeah.
I could say, oh, we went to dinner and then we partied at this thing and then we went home.
But it's like, we didn't exactly do that.
So if I drag that, and then she goes, oh, well, what happened after?
Oh, but this funny story.
You know what I mean?
And it's just like, if I just say we did this thing, which I didn't do anything bad at the strip club, then it's perfect.
Yeah.
How was Hawaii's strip clubs?
Bro, we, we, no, they weren't Hawaiian pigs.
It was just a bunch of Samoan girls like testing the integrity of the pole.
That's my employees.
No, no, no.
But we did some shit at this, like, it's not even strip club.
It's like, what is it called?
They're like, we're so good.
This is sounded like a brothel.
So you have to blow your mind.
You know how, like, in Asian cultures, they don't really know how to like talk to women.
So, what they do is they commodify it, right?
And they're like, there's like a, there's like a Korean experience where you go to a place and then they just have girls there to talk to you.
And it's called a host host club or something like that.
And it's basically a bunch of like Asian businessmen go there and they talk and they kind of do their deals, but there's like girls around, right?
And so this guy who was like taking us around every day, he's like, do you guys want to like see this like Korean cultural experience?
And we're like, yeah, all right.
It sounds like really weird.
So we're in this room and it's just awkward because we're not Koreans doing business.
Yeah, yeah.
We're just sitting around.
There's a pole in the middle of the thing, but we're kind of talking.
And then we just go, yo, put on the Hamilton soundtrack.
We want these girls dancing to.
And at first, they didn't know how to dance to it.
So then we started singing and dancing Disney mixed Disney songs mixed with Hamilton, bro.
Bro, at one point, five of us were standing up on the pole singing.
The girls were sitting down drinking.
They didn't know what they did.
They didn't know what to do.
How does a bastard orphan son of a four and a Scotsman dropped in?
It was like 30 minutes of this.
And they were just sitting there.
Do we leave?
Like, we're getting paid.
Like, what is happening?
They had no clue what was going on.
To the point they just started taking their clothes off.
We're like, no, no, no, we're good.
Just keep your clothes on.
We're going to dance these songs.
Do you know the words?
We put on frozen.
One of these little 12-year-olds was like, oh, I got this.
They were not 12.
These are today's men, bro.
Yeah.
We're respectful.
This is what the red pills complaining.
Bro, that's so embarrassing.
And then I was DJing and we got the vibe back.
Like, I was like playing just regular rad music and like it was the vibe was sick.
And then like 10 minutes in, I just went right back to Hamilton and one of the girls just left.
They were the first dudes to walk a stripper.
Her own establishment.
Red Pill Complaining Men00:02:58
Bro, she's on a pole trying to dance all.
And then you just hear, I can show you.
She just loved that, by the way.
Thank you, dude.
Thank you, dude.
Bro, that was fun.
But isn't it so much better to tell the truth and then it's fun?
And if you don't want to tell the truth, then maybe what you're doing, you shouldn't do.
Ooh.
So you just stay in front of it and everything works out.
Okay.
What about the example I gave?
Or I have a mission.
But you could just be like, hey, I'm super exhausted right now.
Can I call you back tomorrow?
That's a lie.
Wait, why?
No, what if I just don't want to talk to that person?
Why not?
Don't pick up the phone.
Oh, that's true.
But what if, okay, let's say hypothetically, I picked it up.
I thought it was going to be a quick call, but it turns out to be longer.
The best thing to say, even though it's hard, is to be like, you know, I'm just kind of done talking.
James.
That's the best.
That's the best.
No, that's honest.
That shit.
That's hurt.
That's honest.
That hurts.
I feel like talking right now.
I think that's actually the best.
Yeah, horrible.
Yeah, yeah.
Just try that.
Try it.
Have you ever tried that?
No.
I'm a lie.
I lie.
I'm a liar.
I'm a fucking big liar.
I gotta get going.
No, I don't.
I want to get going.
What's the biggest omission or white lie that you've told your wife?
Oh, God.
I mean, just any time I'm coming home.
Yeah.
And it's so dumb because I do it every time.
Yeah.
She goes, hey, what time are you coming home?
And then I know she wants me to be home at like seven.
So I'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll be home at like, you know, 6:45, 7.
And then I walk in the door at 8:30.
And she goes, Why, where were you?
And I was like, I just lied to you.
And she goes, well, why didn't you tell me the truth?
I wouldn't have cared.
I just wanted to know what time you'd be home.
I go, I'd like to lie.
I don't know.
I like, I just I couldn't help.
I don't trust you with the truth that I'm having fun for a little bit longer without you.
Every time.
And I just, I do it.
And she goes, I genuinely don't care what time you're going to be home.
Just tell me.
Tell me at the actual time.
They say that shit until you tell me.
Actual time.
They're like that late.
I thought we were going to have a night together.
I'm never going to try.
They make us lie.
Yes.
I don't want to lie.
Yeah.
You put me in a corner.
You ever say like an hour later to give yourself cushion?
And then as the time approaches, you're like, I got a whole hour.
Even when you're trying to get ahead of it, you're like, ah, all the time in the wall.
It's only going to be home at 8:30.
I mean, yeah, it's almost like they need to understand our math.
That's what do they say?
Girl math is the shit they do with spending.
Boy math is time.
Yeah.
The time that we will be home, the time that we spend, that is boy math.
The time that you say it's going to take you to get ready is the time that extra time is going to take us to get to get home.
Yeah.
I've never had a show actually end when I told my wife it ended.
It's always like a half hour.
Hey, baby, just finished the meet and greet.
I've been home for 45 minutes.
I just don't want to talk right now.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
And you do it enough to where my girl just knows what my translation is.
So now she doesn't even ask.
Boy Math And Stolen Bikes00:05:04
Oh, really?
Because now I'll just be like, hey, I'm going to go do this.
I'll be back in like 30 minutes.
And she's like, okay.
She doesn't even follow up because she's just like, all right, that'll be two hours.
And that's fine.
I got to go.
Like, I'm going to be gone the whole night.
And then when I come back early, I'm waiting for like a celebration.
I'm like, look who's here.
It's just three guys in a room with her.
I'm like, what the fuck?
But yeah, that's my, that's my go-to.
I got to get better at that.
Just being just more like, hey, this is what I'm actually doing.
I don't know.
Do that to your friends also, not just your wife.
Oh, that's a good point.
Yeah, I guess I do it to everyone.
Matter of fact.
Every single person in your life.
It was so weird.
He doesn't do it to me at all.
That's crazy.
Man, what does he do to you?
Bro, the funniest part about Mark is he gets really stressed about time.
Like two days ago, he's like, I got to film this episode.
It has to go out tomorrow, whatever.
He texts me the whole first day, he skips it.
The next morning, he texts me and he goes, meet at the studio in 10 minutes.
We're both in bed.
Like, there's no chance you're going to make it out your door, down the stairs, 10 minutes.
And I was like, hey, brother, how about we say we meet at the coffee shop in 15 and then we do the thing in 30?
Yes.
And you were like, that's what I meant.
And I was like, dude, just do that.
That is what I felt in my soul.
Just fucking say that next time.
That's what I did to David and how he got his bike stolen.
Yeah, that's true.
Poor David.
Poor David.
I get like a message on New Year's Day.
He's like, bro, I'm so sorry.
Like, I got your bike got stolen last night.
Like, I got you.
Like, I'm going to get you a new one.
I go, you know what, bro?
Merry Christmas.
You don't have to buy me a bike that you got stolen.
He got it back.
He gets the bike back.
And literally this week it gets stolen again.
Oh, no, no.
He got it back.
Your bike is broken.
Oh.
And he needs to go get it fixed.
Oh.
So then he buys a new bike.
So instead of fixing my fucking bike because I gifted that shit to him, he goes, I don't need to fix this.
I'll get a new bike.
Fucking Sanchez.
Fucking sit.
See, what happened?
No good deed goes unpunished.
Well, it went on.
It went punished.
It won't punish.
Oh, Karma Gott.
Yeah, exactly.
He buys a new bike.
So stoked about it.
Literally can't stop talking about it.
Everywhere you go, it's locked up somewhere.
He'll walk by and go, God damn, whose bike is that?
Like, he's so stoked.
It's his favorite thing.
And so me and him were going to go to the gym yesterday.
And I said, hey, let's meet at this coffee shop, grab a coffee, and then go to the gym.
Yeah.
So we go to the coffee shop.
We're sitting there 10, 15 minutes.
Miles comes by.
He's hanging out.
I'm there with my baby.
Baby's hanging out.
At least he's going to come get the baby to go take him and then we're going to go to the gym.
David walks out and his bike's gone.
Fully stolen.
And has a full meltdown.
Calls the police.
Cops show up.
Do you have a description?
And he was like, Let's brown, probably migrant.
Probably migrant.
Do you have an air tag on it?
Nope, no Air Tag.
Chain was made of like tinsel, honestly.
Like the bike chain is so thin.
Yeah.
Got jacked.
And then he went to the precinct.
Like the cops show up.
He gives him a statement, fills it out.
Me and Mark are trying not to make fun of him, laugh the whole time.
He should play the video.
They got the video of it being stolen of his reaction or there's a video of the bike bike being stolen.
Yeah, right in front of him while you guys are having coffee.
He was in direct eye.
Like it's 20 feet away.
Wow.
Yeah.
He didn't do anything.
He didn't see it, honestly.
He didn't notice.
Oh, that's a whole okay.
Cot in the back of a cop car went all the way to the precinct to fill more paperwork out.
Yeah.
Once the bike's gone, it's gone.
Exactly.
But that's something that people not from New York don't realize.
It's like, that shit is a different color.
Oh, that's a sick bike, dude.
No, no, no.
This is motorcycle.
He's on the pulls up.
He's right here.
The bike is locked up right here with the tiniest lock ever.
Dude has a bolt cutter, snatches it, pulls it off the thing.
All right.
And then rides away with both.
That's what they do.
Yeah.
Oh, that's that's talent.
Crazy, right?
Nice.
He deserves it, honestly.
Yeah.
You all know the funniest part?
This is probably the funniest part of it.
That's a lot easy these days.
We used to do that with a bicycle.
You have to be pedaling, which holds that shit.
This guy has a fucking motor.
While this guy is stealing it, that's my wife and child.
Walking right on by.
That's crazy.
And then later your wife goes, Yeah, I saw a guy riding with a bike on the sidewalk.
I thought that's so silly.
She saw the guy going up robling, holding a bike on the side.
She's like, Yeah, I guess like his friend lost his bike and crashed or something.
Who knows?
Isn't that so wacky?
He's holding his friend's bike while he goes and gets coffee.
Exactly.
I told Lisa, I was like, Yeah, David's bike got stolen.
She's like, Oh, that's crazy.
Unrelated.
I saw a guy steal a bike connected at all.
Situational awareness on 10 just knows exactly what's going on.
Jesus, man.
Yeah.
10 a.m. on a Monday.
That's crazy.
And that all happened because I wasn't honest with the time.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Because I said I got there later.
We spent more time at the coffee shop than I had said.
Or if I just was honest, you never really got his bike stolen.
In that time, though, that's just what we do as homies.
We waste time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then you wouldn't have gotten your justice.
What's my justice?
Posturing Over Greenland00:15:07
Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
So I don't know if I feel avenged by that.
You don't look at this.
It's not enough.
We'll steal his other book.
Don't worry.
I need more.
Did he get a replacement already?
He's looking at it.
All right.
What's happening with TikTok, man?
Yo, is this shit done?
Yeah.
It seems, I mean, they're basically going back and forth, like, should we ban it?
Should we not?
And it seems like Trump is kind of into keeping it.
Yeah.
I mean, it seems kind of crazy to ban it, don't it?
Yeah.
It's very possible it'll only be banned for several days before Trump just reenacts it.
Just do a trade.
Say, yo, China, you got to take meta.
And if I'm China, I'm taking that any day of the week.
If you look at Reels right now, I think someone was pointing this out.
It's just repurposed TikToks.
It's like a lot of it, at least.
Like very, I think very few people are making only reel-specific content.
There are a lot of people making TikTok-specific content that goes viral and people repost on Reels.
So if I'm the U.S., I'm like, all right, listen, you could have your data collection service here and influence our elections, influence our culture, and do whatever the fuck you want, but we got to have one over there.
Isn't that a fair trade?
What if China says no?
Then I think it's reasonable that we would remove it.
Curious what?
What does it really do?
Like, I imagine China already has whatever data they need.
And this, if anything, the fact that nobody can recreate the bite dance algorithm in the United States proves to me that they're so far ahead of us in AI in every capacity that it's like, this is the least of our concerns as a social media app.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't know if they're ahead of us in terms of AI.
But nobody can get the algorithm.
So to me, I would assume that's under the AI umbrella.
I think that you can, I think that you can recreate that algorithm.
I think the issue is Instagram is this like friend slash community-based app.
So it needs to show you your friends' shit every once in a while.
Like they're kind of beholden to this thing that we no longer care about.
The reality is like we don't care about what our friends are doing until the algorithm chooses something that they're doing randomly and then throws it in front of us.
The beauty of TikTok is they're like, people pretend like they want to keep up with the Joneses with their boys and shit.
They don't.
They just want to see the next piece of content that's really interesting.
It's really engaging.
It's dramatic or funny.
We got you.
I would push back with YouTube Shorts.
It's big.
Yeah.
But it's not TikTok.
It's not, it doesn't have that same addictive, like people are in it for 14 hours a day.
I agree with communities.
I would just say that with YouTube, like the goal is a little different.
Like YouTube, when I hit that app, I'm like, all right, I'm going to sit here for a little bit and watch a video and kind of indulge in something where TikTok, I even see the way my wife uses it.
She's brushing her teeth, throws on TikTok, and just lets some shit go.
It's just this meaningless time spend, right?
Or if you're going to bed, you're like, all right, I got 15 minutes.
Let me just scroll and find some shit.
And I think if Instagram really wants to compete, they just got to knock the friend thing away completely.
But people don't want that.
I just, yeah, I feel like that's.
They think people don't want that.
We do.
Yeah, I just think they're further behind than you do.
I think that's just really where we disagree.
Yeah, maybe.
I also, did you know the number one downloaded app the last couple of days?
The backup to TikTok?
The red note, which is the actual Chinese government.
So they're like, instead of giving it to TikTok, let's just give all our data to China right away.
There's a lot of pushback to this that I don't know if the government, I don't think the government understood how much people love that app.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I don't think they are prepared for like the anger that will come if you take it away.
I wonder if there's anger.
Like, I wonder if there's anger.
I wonder if people are furious or they just find another form of distraction.
Yeah.
I think they bank on that, but I think they're going to make more noise about this than most things.
Yeah, maybe.
And I don't think it's worth getting rid of it.
But you could see why it'd be a liability.
I understand the concept of it.
I do.
I just don't think it's that real of a threat.
I think China's a threat, but I don't think TikTok is the reason China's a threat.
If we want to push China around and reassert ourselves, there's a lot of other ways to do it, I think, than just like the TikTok app.
What about allowing them like algorithmically to push certain things to us and like affect us culturally?
Yeah, but Facebook, we've already, didn't Russia already do that in 2016?
Yeah.
Yeah, you could make that argument.
Yeah.
It didn't work, right?
But I mean, that was what, yeah.
I don't know if that's what, that's what everybody was blaming the Trump win on forever.
Yeah, but that's they always need to find a way.
But that's a concern either way.
Like WhatsApp, there's tons of misinformation on WhatsApp.
Take it from an Indian whose parents were sharing the craziest shit ever.
WhatsApp is like the biggest misinformation thing in the world.
Really?
Oh my God.
There's so many memes.
They're just like washing your hands could cause AIDS or whatever.
And then your uncles are just sharing it to all their uncles and it's just going around like crazy.
Who knows?
Right?
Yeah.
But the misinformation shit is everywhere.
Pushing content is like, you can do it on any app.
I don't think it's exclusive to TikTok.
But I guess the difference is that if someone is using a loophole to exploit that versus the fundamental back end being owned by another country, like is it an easier pipeline to then push a cultural agenda?
I think there's no question that that is the truth.
I mean, that's the reason why China doesn't allow our apps over there.
Oh, yeah.
I can agree with there is merit to it.
I just think they're kind of picking a fight with something they probably want out for whatever reason anyway.
Yeah.
And it could just be a posturing.
Yeah.
Could be a lot of money from the U.S. social media apps being like, let's lobby, get this thing taken out of here.
Who's the biggest threat?
Yeah, who's the biggest beneficiary?
Mark Zenberg and yeah, yeah.
So do you see the rumors of Elon buying it and then buying it and then Mr. Beast also saying he wants to buy it?
And then China responded to that and they were like, we cannot comment on completely fictional rumors.
Now that could be them just trying to cover up the fact that they're going to sell it.
I mean, if Elon buys TikTok and if he has Twitter and TikTok, that's crazy.
Yeah.
That's a lot of.
Yeah, that's a little snap.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
If Trump's able to save it, like, does it make Trump look good?
Oh, God.
He win early on, weirdly.
The one demographic that he still hasn't fully won over is like young liberal kids on TikTok.
If he saves the app they love the most, what a cook.
Yeah, I think it's such an easy win early for him.
And I don't know if people looked at that because I think he's basically reversed on it.
He's basically saying, like, I don't know if we should look into it.
Like, think about it.
He loves his views on there.
Yeah.
He's like, we got like 36 billion views last quarter.
Like, why do we got to get rid of this?
He's got TikTok Jack, dude.
He's got the TikTok.
I think we just need to understand what the real cost to America is.
And then we're all just speculating right now.
But if some actual independent data came out that this is potentially dangerous and the only thing we lose is a distraction tool for five minutes where kids are just like dancing and lip-syncing, I think we can live without it.
But we just don't know that actual cost.
And if the actual cost is nothing, then let that shit go.
Let them get their data.
Whatever.
It's fun.
It's great.
We all enjoy it.
But if the actual cost is, oh, we found out that, you know, China influenced these local elections over here so that they could gain more influence and buy up these hotels and this real estate or whatever.
That's fair.
If we found that there was actual real impact that was not even dangerous to Americans, but put us on the uneffective side of a negotiation, then I think it's maybe worth yanking it.
Like, I wonder if even if Britain thinks about that when they're selling large swaths of real estate to outside investors.
If they go long term, like, is this beneficial for us?
Yeah, a few developers were able to make their money back.
But what does it look like 30 years from now when 20%, 30% of London is owned by foreign entities?
I think this happens on such a small scale.
Like you're just an individual seller and some foreign national saying, hey, here's cash for your house.
New York put a stop to that.
So like in a microcosm, I think you could look at some of the like vacation destinations that have imposed these kind of rules where you can't buy land unless you are a citizen of the country.
And it's simply because you're going to price out the people who actually live there, grow up there, and don't have the opportunity to just move to another country and find a place to live.
And you've even seen in like, I think Vancouver, they said China bought up all these apartments.
Now there's this apartment shortage and there are these apartments that are vacant and the people that live there and actually grow up there don't have places they can stay or they do and they're just absurdly expensive.
So I think there is like a long-term maybe concern, but you know, this is America's short-term greed.
You know, somebody's willing to give you $300 million for your building.
You don't go fuck where they're from.
You're cashing out.
Yeah.
It's interesting with the Greenland thing too.
Like Trump trying to get Greenland and like pushing hard to get it.
I spoke to the guy who is his ambassador to Denmark.
So he's essentially Denmark is the custodian of Greenland.
So he's essentially tasked with, I mean, the job of getting Greenland.
Why does Trump want it?
Minerals?
Seems like there's a couple different things from just what I've read.
Like as it seems like Greenland is obviously covered in ice and the glaciers are melting on Greenland.
So as a result, there's going to be huge mineral deposits and like potentially even oil underneath the ground that's now going to be able to be accessed.
Some people have speculated that Elon is actually a big proponent of getting Greenland in order to get precious materials for like some of the stuff he's developing and getting minerals and things like that.
And then, obviously, the oil interests.
And then there's also trade routes that are now going to be like more opened up that like Russia has more access to.
And it benefits Russia to have these trade routes.
So if the United States can put bases there and control the trade routes, it gives them a lot more leverage globally.
And then, thirdly, if Trump is able to get more land, does that look good for him individually as president to be like, hey, I added on some shit to the American Empire?
Like, yo, if you were, if you were a citizen of Greenland and you could be Danish or American, what would you want?
That's a good point.
Well, it depends though.
Because Danes, I feel like are probably like, if they're living there, if they're like culturally Danish, you know what I mean?
But they're culturally Greenlandish.
Yeah, but I imagine that they're influenced by Danish culture and that they're like, we're Danish.
And I feel like I've met Danes that are very much not into the American vibe.
I don't know if they spend Danes.
Buddy, put down the fucking butter cookies, pick up a chocolate shit, see how much better it is on this side.
Shut the fuck up.
Don't get me wrong.
We got to put some Americans over there.
We got to send the boys to go, you know, colonize them.
Give them more black people and see how fun it is.
Yeah.
And you'll make a lot of people here very happy.
It's a win-win.
That's a win-win.
Should we just put Israel there?
Oh, there you go.
That's it.
That's problem solved.
Yeah.
What do you feel about that?
They can't handle the cold.
Yeah, they hate the cold.
They hate the cold.
No, they'll turn it into a metropolis and then be blamed again by someone.
Hold on.
Now, y'all can have Greenland, y'all.
Yeah.
I think they're Inuits.
Like the Indigenous population there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just thinking if I'm some Greenlandish Inuit and that's my life, it's the only place that I've grown up.
That's all I know.
And I also can go to Denmark.
I don't even know if they have like EU citizenship.
I don't know how that works.
But like, or you could be the exact person you're going to be.
But if you want to pop down to Miami for a few weeks in the winter, there's no red tape at all.
If you want to start a business in New York, there's no red tape.
That should be the deal that they bring up.
Yeah, it depends how the economy is.
If they're doing bad, then they're going to want to choose up.
There's only like 100,000 of them.
And I think one of the big issues that they're running into right now is that they want basically Greenland's like empty.
It's just a big, like, beautiful, like, untouched land.
And their fear is that America is going to come and touch it.
So I don't know.
I would think that.
Why have we done that before?
Yeah.
Like, why would they?
I don't know why they think that.
Yeah.
But when we touch it, it gets hot.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, why would you not want that?
Yeah.
I mean, I think that they.
And they don't have EU citizenship.
They don't.
They can get it in one way, but it's not automatically given because they left Greenland left a precursor to the EU before.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
That should be the deal.
Hey, you guys can be America and you also get free flights to Miami twice a year.
Fuck free.
Twice a year.
What do you mean?
We're trying to get free.
We're trying to make a deal.
What about Trump?
We could take it by force or y'all could choose up.
What do you want?
We're not going to nuke them.
We're just going to show up and be like, you're American.
And they're going to go, but we have seven different words for snow.
And we're like, well, now it's snow.
You're American.
Welcome.
Like, what do we, what do we, it's not a negotiation here.
Do we want it?
Yeah.
Welcome.
Welcome.
So what's your boy saying?
What how are they trying to get it?
I didn't get into that discussion.
He was like, you got to come visit us in Denmark.
I was like, I think I'll visit you over in North America.
You can visit me in Greenland.
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
I just can't fathom they wouldn't want to choose up.
What about Puerto Rico?
Did you guys like it?
Puerto Rico's incredible.
When you guys became America, Puerto Ricans stoked about that.
Yeah, it's still not cutting out for us too much.
Yeah, Puerto Rico is still getting treated like we're still waiting for, you know, to be able to vote.
The weather's nice.
But y'all could pull up whenever you want.
That is true.
We can't even vote.
You can vote when you move to New York and become a real American.
Yeah, I mean, you got to point.
There's a pathway to citizenship.
We're going to create a pathway to citizenship for these Greenlandish people.
Yeah, you have to move to Queens.
Okay.
Get a flag.
Wave it all the time.
Play Music Loud.
Have a festival or a parade.
And you can be American.
This is no-brainer.
I need them to show me one single Greenlandish person who's like, I don't want to be American.
I just want to be Danish.
Kind of.
You get to be Danish without EU citizenship.
Fuck Greenland.
Let's pick better islands, though.
It's like if islands are for grad, let's just pick some fire shit.
All right, what do you want?
Anguilla.
Anguilla would be cool.
Okay.
Aruba.
We have St. John Version Islands.
It's nice.
Yeah.
Aruba would be.
He's crazy.
They actually do have like a bunch of words for snow.
I know.
That's their thing.
What are the other words?
A put is a general term for snow.
Kanik, falling snow, matzuk, wet snow.
Pukak, powder snow.
Fucking kwanakulok, light powdery snow.
Great.
That was amazing.
That wasn't even friendly.
I don't even know if you're not.
He makes it all.
Yeah, but that shit was perfect.
How are you fucking Inuit?
Don't you know all this?
We're getting ready to take over.
Are we about to be escorting?
I need a good reason why they wouldn't want to choose up.
I'll be honest.
I think most countries in the world, if we went to them, we're like, yo, you guys want to be American?
I'd feel like they'd be like, yeah, that's fine.
It's funny.
Words For Snow In Aruba00:05:56
I agree with that.
The most people are not even out here.
Name one country that wouldn't want to be part of America.
You get to keep doing whatever you do.
What do they, what is the, you build a, what do you do?
Like, what do you, you don't have to stop doing anything that you do.
Yeah.
Yo, yeah, pull that up because I don't even know what Greenland looks like.
You think these people want to be American?
Bro, these NPR chicks, you really think these, these Nanettes, you got Marshall Mathers over there.
I mean, what is this crazy?
What's I'm trying to figure them out?
Are they Asian?
Yeah.
Sort of.
I think they're just like Inuit.
Like they're like indigenous.
Yeah.
They're Asian.
Bro, come on, Greenland.
Let's not make this more difficult than it needs to be.
You can still dress the way you dress.
You can still wear your moccasins.
You can still eat the whale fat.
You know what I mean?
Whatever you want to do, you can keep doing.
You're also American now.
And then if we find some shit underneath the ice that you would have never found, you get to benefit a little bit from that.
So you could either have 0% of all the minerals you'll never dig up, or you could have like 10% or whatever we give the Alaskans.
You'd be the greatest, like if you were back in the olden days, like British Empire, like colonizing and shit.
What was that guy?
Kissinger.
Yeah.
I could be Kissinger.
Well, he's dead.
You can have a spot.
Exactly.
What else do we want?
Literally right now, what else do we want?
Aruba.
I would want Aruba.
Aruba's fire.
Aruba's great.
We're good.
Why?
Iran.
We need Iran.
I feel like there's parts of America with a lot of like Iranians.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not Glendale.
That's Beverly Hills.
Okay.
You know, great neck.
Okay.
Long Island.
And it's like, I feel like we have a good amount.
So you're good on this.
I think we're good on that.
Yeah.
I feel like we got a good amount.
I think we're good.
What about Dubai?
I like the Emirates.
I do like the Emirates.
I do like them.
And they're up and coming.
So it's like, it's like a Miami Heat situation.
You know what I mean?
I'll be honest with you.
I like what I see over there.
I've toured twice.
The audiences are fantastic.
American educated.
100%.
100%.
If I go there and I just have an amazing show, you might be ours.
I really think that we could have that discussion.
Now, there is a nice little thing where, like, we're homies, but it's separate.
You want to go shit on a hooker.
You can go there.
Yeah.
Right.
You can't do that if they're American.
Now they have rights and all this other.
You just have to sing them Disney songs.
Yeah.
I don't want to fucking serenade a whore.
I want to eat falafel and then put it on their chest as a cultural experience, Alex.
Exactly.
So I think we got to start looking into this.
I think Canada needs to cut it out.
The 51st state, dude?
I think they need to cut it out.
They want to join in.
Join in.
Their health care sucks already.
So now it's not free, but at least you can get your tumor scooped out in a timely manner.
It's true.
Decent point.
It's true.
But do we want Canada?
Yeah.
Really?
Canada's fire, bro.
Canada's fire.
I want Mexico, too.
If it's up to me, if it's up to me.
We can't just be picky and choosing.
It ain't picking and choosing.
That's the boys.
That's the boys.
Yo, yo, yo.
Let's take North America and South America and literally just make that America.
North America, South America.
That's all us.
So Brazil gets to be part of it.
Exactly.
Make the flights cheaper, Dev.
Oh, we got Colombia.
You're not going to be in Colombia.
They got good food over there.
Is there a way to do it, but none of them can move here?
All right.
See?
No, no, no.
This is where this is where it's.
Is there a way where they got to stay too far?
But we get to go there whenever we want.
I'm sure we can do this.
I'm sure.
That's what we already can do directly.
Is there a way where we can keep them poor so we can take advantage of that money exchange and the desperation of the women's the current situation?
Oh, okay.
Got it.
Yeah.
I think we just give Greenland a basketball team, bring them into the fold and call it a.
Nah, football.
This is football.
It's a little better.
Football.
You think so?
Green Bay, Greenland, same to Sam.
Oh, that's a good point.
They would love it, dude.
Yeah.
They got some wide heads.
The ice packers.
Look at that top guy right there.
Well, that's a statue.
Oh, no, that's a guy.
They're better looking women than I thought they'd be.
I mean, to be honest with you.
What is that guy's fitted size?
That's like a nine and a half, right?
Yeah, that's a, he's got a big one.
I mean, this is that guy?
That guy born and raised?
Nah, no way.
That's a Dane for sure.
Yeah.
A hockey team?
I mean, they look like a sick-ass hockey team.
I'm just saying Greenland might be a good play.
I like them.
Yo, Greenland, we love you.
We appreciate you.
Welcome.
You know, I think we put them on like a hundred-year lease, see how it goes.
And after 100, if it doesn't work out for each other, then boom.
It's like Hong Kong or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that scenario.
What do you think of Trump changing all the names and stuff?
Gulf of America.
He changed Mount McKinley or Mount Denali to Mount McKinley, whatever.
I like it.
Why can't we decide the names of our shit?
He's just changing the names all the time.
India did that.
We all back to Mumbai.
Yeah, that is true.
Yeah, that's true.
But what's wrong with it?
I don't understand why it's an issue.
Like, we call Japan Japan, and they call it, whatever the fuck it is, right?
Like, so it's like we all have different names for things.
We're just naming the Gulf of Mexico now the Gulf of America.
I think it makes sense.
But does the world have to recognize it?
They don't already.
They don't speak English.
They say it in their language.
Like, I don't think Mexico should have to go now.
It's the Gulf of America.
You keep calling it whatever you call it.
Transactional Sex With Girls00:15:48
Oh, yeah.
We call India India.
They call it Hindustan, right?
Or Biabharat.
That.
Hmm.
All right.
Like, I'm shocked we didn't do this years ago.
We kind of did it.
We used to call it the Persian Gulf.
Now we call it the Arabian Gulf.
It's not officially changed, but we do it just to just a fuck with them.
Ukraine, the Ukraine.
Oh, yeah.
What's the Ukraine?
The Ukraine.
Is it Ukraine or the Ukraine?
I think it's just Ukraine.
Called Ukraine, but for a long time we called it the Ukraine.
It's just gaslight.
I feel like that's Mandela effect also.
They got sensitive about that.
Are you?
Is there other Ukraines?
You're the Ukraine I think we're talking about.
I I can't believe they gave it up like Ohio state.
Yeah, he's in Ohio state.
Yeah, Ukraine.
Yeah, we would have called him section Eight until they finished this whole this war.
You know, I need to.
I need to ask you guys about this.
There's one of these like marathon whores that had sex with a thousand guys in 12 hours.
Yeah yeah, how's that possible?
Like we gotta pay for it to find out.
Yeah, we gotta get on the only fans.
Is it just like you just let them pump a couple times and then you on to the next one?
Because I guess, but how can they?
Are the guys all hard waiting?
Like what a weird waiting area.
I don't, i'm not into this.
How many guys is that per hour?
Seems mathematically impossible.
A thousand divided by 12, 1057 divided by 12?
Uh 83 88, 88 an hour.
How many is that?
A minute?
Yeah, that's over one guy a minute.
I don't understand how that's 1.4.
Yeah, this is me.
It's it like a?
Like a bullpen where you go.
Get hard before you.
Yeah, there's gotta be.
Yeah yeah, there must be a side room logistically.
Why are we acting like that?
Yeah, that's not the issue.
You know, a girl fucks a thousand guys in 12 hours.
We're like, how do the guys so fast like no no, we can get it out.
Yeah no, the logistical part.
Oh damn, I mean, that's crazy.
Apparently there's a father-son duo that joined, but now is this the same that did?
Yeah, there was two that were doing it and it's one of those two.
She already did it.
No, there was like another girl that did like a hundred.
This is so.
This isn't the one that was crying about doing.
No, this is the other one.
This is also.
She just beat her to.
Oh, that's wow.
She just broke the record.
Apparently, it was 919 before, in 2004.
I think her friend was saying that she wanted to do a thousand.
Next, somebody did in 2004.
Yeah, it wasn't.
There was no fucking social media.
They did that for the love yo.
That's crazy.
We just lost out to the.
She said she did it.
She said she did 1057 men in 12 hours and the earlier record in 2004 was 919, said by Lisa.
I just said that you did.
That's crazy, that's, that's foul.
How you gonna yeah, take the record from your friend.
Yeah, what's that pussy look like afterwards?
Yeah, was it all the same?
It had to be vagina.
I mean, maybe she was sucking.
Some of them like, is that?
But that should count?
I don't think that counts.
Ash should count, though ass should count for two, to be honest, all right.
So what do you guys think about that?
I mean, have she spoken on it?
Has she said how awful she feels, or anything like that?
She broke a thousand and then there was just 57 people left and she was like, I run it up apparently.
Jesus, what a list.
That's kind of sick.
But I mean, if sex means nothing, then why is this different than like a hot dog eating contest?
Because it's uh, getting in your vagina contest yeah, and just putting food in your mouth contest.
You know what I mean.
It's like Yeah.
If it's just an act that people do that doesn't have any type of social bearing, it doesn't really matter who you do it with.
No, I'm fucking liberal cooking.
I disagree.
No, you know what I'm saying?
I understand his.
If culturally we view sex and just like, yeah, who gives a fuck with whoever, then why is it, why is why are people defying?
It's difficult for us because we don't view sex like that entirely.
Like there's a number where if you go past it, then sex is this emotional, beautiful act.
You know what I mean?
Like if somebody went down to Columbia that was a friend of ours and fucked like four girls in a night, we wouldn't be like, oh, that's disgusting.
Like, how could you, you know, ruin the sanctity of this beautiful connection that you could have with another person?
Yeah.
But then if one of our boys fucked a thousand girls in Columbia, he's got, he's got eights, right?
Like there's like a concern at a certain point, right?
Yeah.
He's dead.
So what is the number that it becomes a pathology?
That's we should, I think for girls, it's like two.
Yeah.
I think when girls simultaneously if girls have sex with more than one guy in a night, that you're a whore forever.
Isn't that sad?
Isn't that sad knowing that you've helped that happen?
But it is a girl.
Like, what is the number?
Like, what is the number for your girl if she told you a story and she was like, ah, it was some crazy night in college and there was like five guys and it was just like right.
What do you do?
You have to break up.
Like, what do you do?
Oh, yeah, we're done.
You're done, right?
Yeah.
You're done.
Yeah.
Two guys.
It was a crazy night.
Two guys.
I'm out.
Kyle, you're done.
I'm out.
I mean, you know our answers.
Yeah.
I'm out here.
It's a crazy guy.
We dated for four years.
I'd be like, gross.
What the fuck?
Yeah, it's kind of more than one, ladies, is the, is the cutoff.
But for guys.
Well, we can only have sex with one at a time.
Speak for yourself.
Meaning, like, I can't fuck you while I'm fucking somebody else.
But now you're talking about DP.
If the girl's having sex with two guys, she's only having sex with one guy at a time.
Yeah, that's even worse.
That's crazy what you just said.
I mean, that's crazy.
What the fuck did you just say?
I'm just trying to understand the logistics of it.
Yeah, I'm done.
Come on, man.
It's the same thing.
Guys can only have sex with one girl at one time.
No, but.
Girls are going to have sex with one guy.
Sex is putting dick in, right?
I can only put dick in one.
But if a girl is getting up the ass and in the pussy at the same time, you're just like, what's wrong with me?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Or if you're like, a dick is in her mouth while a dick is in her vagina.
That's insane.
And I've done that with girls.
And even during it, I'm like, yo, you are fucking crazy.
You know what I mean?
Why would you do this?
This is crazy.
This is an insane decision that you made completely sober that you were really enthusiastic about.
Did you think we think this is cool?
We're going to call you a whore forever.
Why would you do this?
What are you doing?
You know?
Do you think my mom's still listening?
I think she would agree with our perspective on this part.
So what is the takeaway from this?
Like, do these girls fuck enough guys at one time where even like regular promiscuous girls start going, oh, it is kind of gross.
A thousand percent.
Are they going to ruin promiscuity?
Like our generation or me and Al's generation benefited from sexual liberty.
Like we were able to meet girls and have sex with them and there wasn't that big a deal because it was more transactional, like you said.
But are these girls proving that that's actually disgusting and guys actually think that's disgusting?
Or you just recalibrate the number at which you're a whore.
Now you just raised it or desensitized.
So now girls are like, well, at least I didn't fuck a thousand guys in one day.
You think I'm a slut?
Yeah.
I fucked 50 guys.
You're double digits.
That's nothing.
Over 24 hours.
That's like two and a half.
That's nothing.
That's light work.
Yeah, what are the repercussions of this?
Because it's popular.
People know about it.
People are commenting.
I was just on Instagram.
Kevin Love posted about it.
He's like, this was our fourth quarter yesterday.
I thought it was a funny post.
Did you see she holds up the thousand?
Like the wheelchair?
That's so funny.
That's hilarious.
Now that's funny.
Yeah, that's very funny.
That's really good.
I mean, bro.
Yeah, I'm trying to think: like, what is the lasting cost?
Man.
And there's another thing where it's like, she's too pretty to be.
She's a pretty girl.
Yeah.
She got crazy eyes, though.
Yeah, I mean, do you think she took a break?
Like, was she in the corner, like, getting Vaseline on her eyebrows at any point?
Let me tell you, let me like a box around.
Let me tell you.
I mean this sincerely.
If you're a guy in England or whatever, and at one point you hit on this girl and she rejected you, you need to kill yourself.
Okay?
Because there is something so hideous and disgusting about you that even this bucket wouldn't let you fuck.
Jesus.
Bonk me for free.
Let me film it.
What's going on in the UK, yo?
What is going on?
Y'all got to get y'all shit together.
I don't know.
This makes me uncomfortable.
Right?
And why does she have to like make a big thing about it?
Like, she could have just went into a Pakistani neighborhood.
They would have knocked it out in like 25 minutes.
Right?
Like, why is she going on social media and asking?
Just walk to the grocery store with your kneecaps showing in a Pakistani neighborhood, according to Twitter and what Elon Musk is reposting constantly.
Yeah, who held the last record for this.
An American chick.
And what was she doing?
I forget her name.
But it's 2004.
Wow.
So sad.
Is it the end?
Why it feels like a real downer?
Like, usually we can have fun with these things.
I'm more sad about this than the fire in Malibu.
Right?
We wind up claiming more victims, probably.
No, for real.
Only I said, all I almost said only 24 people died.
But like, unfortunately, 24 people died in the California fire.
It's quite possible 24 die from this.
1,000%.
What happened to the girl that was selling nudes for the Australia fires?
Remember that?
No.
There was a girl that sold, like, made her OnlyFans and donated all the proceeds and made like $5 million for Australia.
Good for her.
This girl could have done that.
She could have done that.
Sucked off the first responder.
A lot more volunteer firefighters at that end.
Exactly.
Hose it down.
That'd be fire.
You could have helped a lot of people.
This is DEI I can get behind.
Literally.
I can't.
Yeah.
It is odd, huh?
It really affected the mood of the pod.
Gives you a weird feeling.
Disgusting, bro.
I don't know.
It's disgusting.
Why is it disgusting?
It's disgusting.
I mean, it is, but like, what is explain your feelings of disgust?
It's worse because I'm a former.
It's tragic now.
I'm a former whore.
If she's ugly, I'd be like, hey, get it in, girl.
But a beautiful girl, I'm like, this is tragic, dude.
That's a really good point.
I guess that has something to do with it.
But no, tell me, Al, what are you saying?
Nah, from like being a former whore to have some standards.
That's it.
What are these standards?
She broke her record.
She became true.
She's letting her forever.
She's just letting anybody go through.
Like, if it was like a thousand attractive dudes, we don't know.
We don't know.
We got to see the guys.
What a time to be alive.
There is this girl doing this for a thousand guys for her OnlyFans or whatever it is.
And then, and I'm sure this has been talked about in nauseum, but there's that other girl who made like 40 million on OnlyFans and she's a virgin.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's smart.
Yeah, she's like, she goes and dunks on people on these podcasts and shit like that.
Does she?
Yeah.
She's well spoken.
I'm like baffled by this.
Wait, but so she showed tits?
I know there's like some sexually explicit content, but she hasn't had sex yet.
Yeah.
And like no, but that's that weird group of guys that like, you know, the ones that are waiting for fucking bad bunny, a bad bobby to turn 18.
Bad baby.
Bad baby, to turn 18.
And then her fucking gram goes crazy.
I'm like, so that means you're looking at her at 17.
Countdown.
Yeah.
Oh, this might not be.
So that shit is nasty.
Anybody, those types of pages, that shit.
But is this girl 18 years old or is she?
I believe this is the girl that's not the girl I Sophie Rain.
She's 20, it says.
So she's 20 years old, very attractive girl.
And she's a virgin, but I imagine she shows, you know, sexy pics or whatever.
That's genius, actually.
But like, what does this say about the male psyche?
There's far more interest in a girl who is beautiful and not fucking than there is in a girl who is fucking everyone.
Yeah.
It's just the human psyche.
You want something that not everybody has access to.
But they technically have access to the look, right?
Like if she's showing her boobs, et cetera.
I'm not trying to discredit point.
I agree with you.
But like, so we're okay with you showing off your body.
That to us isn't disgusting.
It's the second things enter it.
I think we can justify it also because there is an idea of purity attached to her.
Yeah.
She's showing off her body, but she's still pure, purer than us.
She's never had sex.
So how I'm allowed to indulge in this guilt-free and not feel like, oh, this is, I'm participating in this, blah, blah, blah.
This is an empowered girl.
She holds on to her morals, does something she's comfortable with.
I feel no guilt.
She's hot.
Let's go.
It's guilt-free.
It's guilt-free.
And she's more attractive because she's holding on to her chastity.
So it's like a commodity.
Yeah, she does it.
You don't feel that same.
Like the other girl, you feel gross.
You're like, what did this poor girl go through?
They're like, sex means nothing to her.
Yeah.
It's like dapping somebody up.
This other girl, we'd like to believe that she didn't go through that.
Yeah.
She's just a super hot girl.
She's, you know, making money off OnlyFans because guys want to see her naked.
But that is way more designed.
Like guys are paying money to have fake conversations with her on OnlyFans to the tune of $40 million.
This girl had to fuck a thousand guys for us to talk about her on the pod, and we still don't even know her name.
Yeah.
And it's not like the Sophie Rain girl is like that much more beautiful than the other girl.
They're both a hot girl.
They're both hot girls.
Yeah.
And the only reason we're talking about the 1000 guy girl is because she did something that we think is disgusting.
We're not going, oh my God, she's beautiful.
They're paying 40 million for this virgin because they're like, holy shit, look how hot this girl is.
That she's, she somehow managed to be this hot and not have sex.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think men are drawn to like the scope, right?
Like it's like, it's ultra purity and chastity while like still being seductive and teasing.
And then the other side is like full degradation.
And I think that that is like splitting the male psyche.
But are there guys that are into the fact that she's fucked all these dudes?
Is that like a kink for them?
Certainly.
I imagine that that is a part of it.
I mean, I think that's kind of part of like most porn, to be honest with you.
It's like there is like a degraded element where like seeing beautiful women be degraded is validating for men.
And so I think that is taking it to like its like farthest logical conclusion.
Apparently Bonnie Blue is making the girl who had sex with a thousand people is making $700,000 a month.
Wow.
And she's doing, she did a thing in November of 2023 where she went around to British colleges and slept with any student if she could post it online.
Wild.
Different times, yeah.
So I think it is that like polar, you know, like pull kind of thing.
Wow.
40 mil.
That's three and a half million a mil.
That's impressive.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
What a world.
Bonnie Blue Sleeping With Students00:14:19
She making more money than Jalen Hurts.
Ain't that fucking crazy?
That is wild.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
What is his contract?
It's probably around the same, but just like an NFL quarterback.
She's getting paid like an NFL, like a good NFL quarterback.
Yeah.
No CTE, no sex even.
Yeah.
She's making a lot of money.
Almost believe she's a virgin.
The only reason I believe it is because she's made so much money having virginity attached to it that there would be some dude if he smashed that would come out and be like, nah, I hit it.
Like, think about how many dudes came out and they were talking shit about Travis Hunter and his.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Like, it wasn't every dude who DM'd her, like, oh, look, she's in my DMs, blah, blah, blah.
Like, there's a pylon.
Yeah.
Or some hating-ass bitch would be like, oh, no, one of my friends slept with her.
She's lying.
She shouldn't make all that money.
Ah.
Yeah, there's something unsettling about this.
It's because you have a daughter now, dude.
You think that's something?
As you twist your angle angering and concern?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Like, you want to talk to her and figure out what the fuck happened.
Yeah.
I need to know why it's so meaningless.
Curl dad Schultz is so funny.
I just want to get through to it.
But y'all don't have girls and you feel the same way too, aren't you?
Like, why?
I need to know why you don't care at all.
Nothing.
No concerns.
I feel it intellectually, but I'm less like disturbed.
Yeah.
Probably the same integral level.
Correct you are.
Fair enough.
Yeah, I just think you're disgusting.
And then where do you go from here?
Once you already have that, once you have a thousand bodies in 12 hours, it's like.
But then I think there's some dudes like Mark Zedd that like that shit.
Now it's going to be some dudes that want to wife up the girl with the world record.
Wife and others.
But now she can never do less than a thousand.
No, no, I think she can go back to normal.
But she can't be like, I fucked 200 guys this weekend.
All right.
I watched the documentary about the girl who did 100.
You would watch the doc and not the fucking.
Why don't you watch the fucking?
What do you think he meant, bro?
No, I didn't watch the fucking.
No, he watched somebody did a documentary about it.
You watched the gay parts.
There's a girl getting fucked.
You could get all the same information.
No, I want to know the psyche about it.
All right, I feel you on that.
What was she doing?
I watched documentary and then I read a bunch of articles about it.
And a bunch of psychologists were saying that she basically is using sex as self-harm.
Like she had no idea what she was doing.
It's like cutting, right?
Yeah, similar.
Like she basically is like using it as a form of like bodily, body mutilation.
Thank you.
And there was a guy, though, in the documentary, like that they, all these people signed up, and she didn't really have a full understanding.
It was sort of fucked the way it all happened.
She cries then.
It's very sad.
But one of the guys wanted to be last.
That's the only part that I got turned on by, actually.
Okay.
That's crazy.
But there's a guy.
Like, that's when I started jerking off.
I was like, all right, we're getting somewhere.
This is what I'm talking about.
Some real authentic emotion.
Keep it up.
Keep it up.
There's a guy who wanted to be last, like, legitimately, like, requested.
He's like, I'll show up, but I want to be last.
And I was like, that's crazy.
That's so crazy.
Nah.
I've done that at a comedy show before.
I get that.
Like, can I go with that?
Man, the ego he must have.
I wonder if they measure the guys.
Because she got to say you can't have like a bludgeon.
Like, you can't.
Especially, or just at any time, it's like that's gotta that's gotta be way more taxing.
Like a guy with like a 12-ish dick is like taking four dicks, that's true, four they could add that.
That should be part of the metric.
Like, if it's if you got a 12-incher, that's two at least.
Yeah, it's like a total of inches, really.
Yeah, it's like buying pizza at like a cool shop.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, how many inches of dick do you think she took down right?
If it's like what two and a half average, a thousand we can do the math on this.
So, so, so, the doctor or whatever who was diagnosing her with this, it was like a therapist or something.
It was actually an article after I read that was basically like uh reviewing it, and yeah, they were just like, Yeah, it's probably a pretty uh, it's self-harm, it's basically self-harm, and she really didn't do a bunch of research on it, but yeah, that's the review, yeah.
What did Roger Ebert say?
That's I'm gonna try.
I'm trying to get the full 54, 54, 5,454 inches of dick.
I did the math, wow, 5.61 inches average times 1,057.
That's that's how many feet is that divide that by 12, yo.
Yeah, how tall is that?
Like, is that a building?
Son, that's like 600 feet.
She took 454 feet of dick, she took a football field of dick.
Can you divide 454 by 10?
Yeah, 45.4.
She took a 45-story building worth of dick.
Jesus Christ, dog.
That's how much dick she took.
Look at that.
Look at the amount of stuff.
That's crazy, dog.
Wow.
It kind of makes it impressive when you think about it.
Yeah, right.
Like, you're almost looking at the Coliseum.
Now it's like a feet.
Yeah, now it's honestly.
This might be flipping me.
Yeah.
I'm impressed with this bitch.
Human beings are capable of so much.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's just like a triumph of just the human spirit.
It really is.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just remarkable.
How do we use her?
I think we did.
No, like for the benefit of America.
Like militarily or something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe put her on the front line somewhere.
I mean, these are the type of women where it's like you could make them honey pots, you know?
Yeah.
And like you can still do your horse shit, extract information while you're doing it and you know, benefit your country.
Now you're a hero.
But if you're rolling a bang a thousand guys, you got, I don't know if you can honeypot.
It's like, hey, what did you learn from the Taliban?
Like, I sucked off a bunch of did you get the main guy?
She's like, no, I was sucking off the other.
No, but they canceled all their terrorism plans.
They're pretty relaxed right now.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that's been used as a warfare tactic.
I'm pretty sure the U.S. did that.
I forget where.
Stop talking about your grandma.
Come on.
Come on.
And the pot.
Guys, we're about to hop into our Patreon episode.
But before we do, we ask patrons to send in questions every week.
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What up, fellas?
Happy fucking new year.
$20 million.
Would you A, suck a dick to completion or B, get a Dubai Porta Potty?
And take a second and think about it because it'll reveal a lot of shit about your homies that you thought you knew that you is news to you.
I don't know what that says about me, but chest, like shit on my chest.
No question over sucking a dick.
It's funny.
Yeah, that's what I think.
It's just so it's like degrading.
Yeah, you know what else is degrading sucking a guy's dick to completion?
Not really.
And then we wonder why our wives don't do it.
We can't perpetuate this.
That's degrading.
Like, I think it's a pretty normal thing.
It's gross because it's gay.
But outside of that, it's not like a degrading act.
Would you rather suck the dick?
No, I'm going to get shit on.
Yeah, but it's not, I agree with this.
It's not super degrading.
It's not degrading.
Shitting on some, and also, I would rather have someone shit on my back.
Oh, obviously, but that's not a choice.
You don't have that choice.
Well, maybe I could negotiate for that.
You could charm them.
You could probably charm them.
My back's actually better.
Yeah, so much better.
Then maybe you could negotiate just kissing the dick and not sucking it.
Oh, I kissed a dick for 20 million.
If you negotiate, kissing a dick, just like, I don't think that that's gay unless they nut immediately upon kissing.
Bro, that's gay on that.
That's gay on me.
That's the surprise you did not.
Like, there'd be part of you that was like flat.
I don't even kiss the side the shaft and then avoid any bust.
But what if you kiss the side and just shot?
Like that.
Like, would you look at your wife differently?
Be like, yo, how do you like?
I'm nice, bro.
Like, what are you doing that I'm not doing?
What am I doing?
You're not doing it.
Like, I just kiss the side of it.
You can teach a course, make another 20 mil.
Yeah.
Probably.
Also, is sucking dick for 20 mil even gay?
I don't even know it's gay.
No.
That's some gay shit.
It's not gay.
I don't think it's gay if it's for $20 million.
The problem is the motion of moving your head up and down on a dick is super gay.
And I'll never get that out of my head.
Never get that out of your head.
I'll fucking track my head.
I try to get it.
Every time you hear that money, please let it out.
We're going to let that out.
I'm going to just keep on seeing it.
Hey, dude, it's in your head and it will be there forever.
Whose dick is it?
I can't even look up.
Oh, don't even start that.
Your dad's.
Oh, no.
Why did we do that?
Get it out of my head, bro.
Stop.
Oh, dude.
Have you seen your dad's meat?
Not recently.
No, but like as a child, would you see it swinging around in the house or whatever?
Never in the house, but I do have a memory of like showering, and I think it was that memory.
My dad was like, all right, we're not, we're done.
Like, we would shower together, and I'd go on a towel and I'd sit on the side when I was done showering, and then he would finish.
And I have like one memory of that.
And I think that was like the exact age.
My dad was like, all right, you're four years old.
We can't do this.
Wait, why?
Because you can't.
Once your kid makes memories, you can't be showering with him.
Oh, oh, God, I got it.
Do you showered with your dad?
Yes.
That's fucking insane.
That's weird, right?
I know.
I can't judge.
That's not weird.
That's not weird.
It's not weird.
It's not weird if that's on days.
That's not weird.
That's some Catholic shit.
Why did I win?
That shit is weird.
That's weird.
That son does that.
He just fucking takes him and showers him in there.
The dad don't got to be naked.
Yeah.
We're showering, bro.
No, they're both showering.
At least I have a dad.
What are you talking about, bro?
Shut up, weird.
So you're showering.
I'd rather not have a dad than shower with my dad.
The fact that you're being nice makes me think that it's bad.
It's not weird.
The fact that you're being so nice makes me think he's really a bad dad on level.
I know.
I know.
So don't leave me.
Wait, Scarlet.
So what happened?
Like, you would get, you would get out of the shower and talk about it.
He's just way too many kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a cadema.
But what were you waiting for?
Like, what was he doing for him to leave?
And then I was like three years old.
Why was your dad still shower?
Why did you get out?
It's cold.
Was he washing you?
Was he like washing you up?
Because I didn't wash my hair in my ears.
So he would wash you up.
He got to be naked.
That shit was like, why?
He's popping in the shower.
It's a shower.
It's hard to put your hands just in the shower.
I would have done that.
I remember my dad doing that.
Yes, it's very easy to do.
I literally remember my dad's doing that.
So he would get in the shower and then he would, and so he would bust or like, get it out of my head.
Stop.
Why didn't you put that in my head?
So you're sitting there with your towel on.
It's not that funny, Al.
Either it's normal or it's traumatic.
You seriously laugh.
Oh my gosh.
I know it's normal or it's traumatic.
Al, you gotta be serious about it.
So, you're sitting there, and your dad's just either in Norway, he's smashing away, and his elbows just hitting the glass, he's making all sorts of sounds, right?
So, his elbows bang into the glass, and then okay, and you're just sitting there with the television on you drying off and stuff.
Yeah, I was so cozy.
I had a little kid towel with the hood on, and I would sit there, and then and he would finish.
And then, did he need like a I had to get dressed, bro?
I was one year old.
No, you're four, you said four, you know, kindergarten, bro.
No, I didn't kindergarten, I was three months old, bro.
No, you said kindergarten.
No, that's not kindergarten.
It's kindergarten.
You were homeschooled, so you didn't even have friends to tell you that shit.
Telling other kids what's happening.
You didn't have a teacher to call CPS.
That's crazy, bro.
Yo, oh my god, European, bro.
We're European.
Oh, my God.
Would you ever shower with your mom?
That was much older.
That was way older.
Nah, would your mom's ever?
That's weird.
I would shower with Al's mom.
No questions asked.
I don't know if you can afford it, bro.
That shit is expensive, dude.
Oh, God.
Wait, hold on.
Hold on.
Why is it expensive to shower with Al's mom?
What are you trying to say?
He's 1.5.
1.5.
That's what he said.
You know, why are you thinking about it?
1.5.
Yakuza saddle.
Yo.
Yo, do you start to go fund me?
I'm just saying.
Let's start a go.
Get it going.
Saddle up.
Get it, GoFundMe already.
Put it on the internet.
We're never not starting with Patreon questions ever again for Patreon.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
So my God.
I'm just saying it is what it is.
1.5, she has it, you know.
Oh, my God.
Can we go deep, though?
Yo, that's where Dallas is, right?
1.5.
Nah, but 1.5.
That's not what you paid for.
No, that's not what you paid for.
We can't half-stroke that.
Yeah, I mean, 1.5.
You got to be able to go deep.
Can we go as deep as you can?
Can we go as deep as we can?
Yeah, yeah.
Do your thing.
She hasn't been around the blog in a while.
It'll be fun for us.
Have you ever, and I know this is like a weird question, but like, have you asked her when the last time was?
No, but I don't think she actually, there was only one dude after my dad.
Really?
Yeah.
How long after that?
Going As Deep As Possible00:01:47
Why do named Ron from Alabama?
I remember that.
You fucked that shit up.
No, I fucked it up.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because I started getting in trouble.
Like, all the shit that I was doing and stuff.
So she's like, oh, I can't not watch him because he's going to get.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then she never dated.
She never dated again.
And you've spoken to her about this.
She's not having some one-night sand, she's having some fun on her.
Nothing.
Not the dating apps or any of that kind of stuff?
No.
It's like, I think you turn it off and then you got used to it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you ever ask him?
You ask your parents?
My dad jokes around about it all the time.
Like he's my whole life.
He's been joking around about smashing my mom's and also not getting late.
That's not true.
No, I know.
He loved, but like I used to hear him fuck my dad rocking that shit.
That's got to be worse than showering, bro.
There's no way.
Why are we less natural?
Thanks.
That's way weirder.
That's two parents fucking.
That's what we all hold.
My dad will do a lot of family platonically.
My dad just rocked that shit.
My dad dicks down, dude.
Dude, that's crazy.
He's four years old.
You're at dick level with your six p.
Yeah, that's where you get the suns from, right?
Is that where you get the suns from?
Yes, dude.
Just Hit him in the head.
It's your pin.
It's all that shit.
It's your opinion.
Look it up.
It's your pin.
We're closer.
We're more closer.
You know what that shit is crazy.
Yo, if you want to see the rest of that episode or any of the Patreon episodes from the last five and a half years, go to patreon.com/slash flagrant.