Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Kendrick Lamar's "Not Like Us" lyrics regarding white comedians, Drake's UMG lawsuit over stream manipulation, and the hypocrisy of his Super Bowl performance. They analyze NFL dynamics under coaches Dan Campbell and Jim Harbaugh, critique political hypocrisy surrounding Hunter Biden's potential pardon, and reflect on historical government mistreatment like the Tuskegee Syphilis Study. The episode concludes with Mark Wahlberg detailing his Netflix special's technical logistics using PTZ RoboCams and emphasizing family reconciliation over professional milestones. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Kendrick Lamar Beef Explodes00:15:00
We're back baby!
Get it!
Listen!
We got beef.
We got beef.
Finally, we got a beef worth responding to.
Finally.
All these little peons on the internet talking shit.
I don't give them no love, but this guy right here.
What happened?
What do you mean?
What happened?
Have you not, you know, been listening to music?
I've heard some.
There's a pretty big thing going on.
Yeah, between Kendrick Lamar.
Laws were written.
I don't like him pretending he doesn't know what the fuck's going on with his old milk mustache.
It's just been pissing me off.
Okay.
Is it on there?
Now, listen, no.
Guys, we got to take this seriously.
Listen, rappers are telling comedians we need to be more respectful to women.
So we got to really, we got to sit back and reflect.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
They're the most pious group.
Listen, nobody has respected women more through art than rappers.
Okay?
Absolutely.
So I completely understand how a rapper could look at a comedian telling a joke and be like, yo, y'all need to switch that shit up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How dare y'all keep saying your wives are annoying?
Be more like us.
And, you know, bitches ain't nothing but hoes and tricks.
I beat my bitch with a stick.
What?
You can lick on the nuts or suck the dick.
I beat my bitch with a stick.
What?
Did you just think of that?
That's a real lyric.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's a real lyric from music that protects women.
And for decades, protects women.
And listen, listen.
Right now, the guy on top.
Kung Fu Kenny.
He is the guy on top.
He is making sure.
He is making sure that comedians, he put a law in.
He put a law in place.
All right, let's see the exact line, okay?
Don't let no white comedian talk about no black woman.
That's law.
Now, technically speaking, if we're going off of grammatic English, he is saying, I can talk about black women.
And that's why.
Don't let no white comedian talk about no black women.
So he's basically saying all white comedians are only allowed to talk about black women exclusively.
That's what I'm talking about, Kendrick.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's a law.
Finally, he understands.
Now I understand why he's doing a comedy with the South Park creators.
No, that makes sense.
Because he appreciates white comedians that make fun of black people.
There you go.
And they've done that brilliantly for decades.
Yeah, that's true.
And he would never want to break one of his own laws.
No, that's true.
I mean, didn't they have a character called Tolkien on the South Park show?
Yeah, they do.
Which I'm sure Kendrick is a big fan of.
That's true.
He must be a big fan if he's going to do a comedy with them.
I mean, we can look that up.
Apparently, he has a comedy coming out.
Yeah, that's facts.
But, Al, but, Al, Al, Al.
You're getting groomed right now.
We need to ungroom.
Yeah, you're not groomed.
We need to ungroom.
Okay?
I mean that, listen, because he sent people, he says, slide on, what he said, slide on.
Where's the line?
Where's the line?
He goes, let me get it.
I'm so holding on to squint my eyes.
That was not a racist joke.
Okay.
The N-words that Koon, the N-words that being groomed slide on both of them.
Whoa.
That seems like a call to violence.
It does.
Why would he call to, if he's about protecting black people, why would the call to violence be towards the black dudes, not the white guy making the joke?
Well, you got to understand.
No, no, no, no.
You got to understand.
Because I snitch.
I talk to anything.
I tell.
You're going to squabble up in the jail cell.
Here's what you got to understand about Ken.
He is very, it's very important to him to protect black women.
That's why he's never done a song with an abuser confirmed.
He never did a song with anybody that's suspected of abuse.
He never threatened to remove his music from Spotify because they removed R. Kelly's music, who for sure fucking held captive underage black women.
Hold on, hold on.
This is all very important to Kendrick.
Wait a minute.
Just let me understand what's going on here because I think that you're using sarcasm as a comedic device.
It is.
It is a comedic device.
But you're so fucking smart right now that I don't know if you're serious or making jokes.
Are you saying that Kendrick Lamar put it on wax that he is protecting black women from white comedians' jokes, but not the kidnapping, molestation, and rape of R. Kelly?
And actually, reality, he would take his own music off Spotify to protect R. Kelly.
Yeah.
Someone who's kidnapped and black women.
Children.
Are you saying that he's done songs with other men who have potentially put hands on black people?
Not potentially.
Confirmed.
Women, convicted?
Yeah, I don't know what you call Chris Brown, but whatever that is.
It's not breezy.
Not breezy.
I took a picture with Chris Brown.
Hey, bro, I'll take a picture with him immediately.
Can I tell you something?
We ain't protecting nobody.
You got to protect your fucking self.
Everybody gets these jokes over here.
Yo, you got them telling me for a year straight, Indians fuck mud.
What you gonna do?
Listen, they going down on it too.
I've seen a lot of videos of them eating mud pussy, bro.
If they literally put their head in the mud straight, reverse back hand spray.
At least we're going down on someone.
Hey, at least we go down, Jamaicans.
Whoa.
Whoa.
What the bumble claw is going on?
Can't call out Jamaicans for something they're proud of.
That's true.
That's true.
My bad.
You know what I mean?
My bad.
That's super racist.
Al, can you speak on that as a Puerto Rican?
That's not good.
Fly out this podcast right now.
This is crazy.
Al, we have to protect you.
They're trying to slide on you, bro.
Whoa.
They're trying to.
This is nuts, dude.
This is.
And listen, you're trapped.
Splish splash.
What is it?
Splish splash?
I'm going to be honest.
These kids look Asian.
Well, I mean, I mean, they're the other agents.
I agree with you.
I'm with you on that.
Anyway, can we get back to something that's really important?
Because there's a huge beef on the internet right now that we really need to admit.
That's true.
You know what I mean?
There's not, I don't think there's another beef, but you don't know.
This is the only one I heard people talk late.
You know, that.
Can I ask you guys a serious question?
Yeah.
Because literally, we filmed a special this past weekend.
Thank you guys so much for coming out.
I really appreciate that.
About to get into the edit, but yeah, you guys are amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Team killed it.
You guys were fucking incredible.
But listen, I shut off my phone for the week.
Like the week before, you know, Kendrick dropped his album, right?
Yeah.
Every black person that texts or calls me is like, yo, Kendrick just took a shot at you on the album.
Every white person or Asian person or Latino person that calls me is like, yo, good luck on your special.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So clearly there was a separation in who was, you know, indulging in this content.
Okay.
So I've been a little out of it, but I come out of the special and it looks like there's so many articles about this album that are about, I don't, I don't want to, you know.
No, it was about you.
You were trending on my Twitter.
No way.
Yeah.
I didn't want to tell you because you had things.
What a time to be alive where.
I was not one of the agents who said, good luck on your specials.
I'm just saying, I'm just saying.
What a time to be alive where rappers got to talk about comedians for clout.
God bless, dude.
Like, we are upright.
God bless.
The biggest story about the album outside of the album and people enjoying it was a sub at a comedian?
And you don't even got to say my name and it still makes headlines?
It's crazy.
You're welcome.
You are.
How many views did I give him, you think?
A good chunk.
A little chunk.
They stole our mustard.
A couple million bucks.
They stole our mustard.
We've been doing honey mustard for fucking years.
Okay.
They hop on that.
Dick Ryan.
He'd be listening.
He'd be listening.
Of course, he listens because he specifically, I think, was reacting to in that shits and gigs podcast, which I think they're reacting to.
I said something.
I asked them if they dated black women.
They were like, oh, we date all women or whatever.
And I was like, yeah, okay.
And then, and then I go, Kendrick fans, get him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's all it took.
Yeah.
That's all it took.
And now Kendrick wants to talk some shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you guys think of the album though?
I mean, I like it.
Here's what I'll say about Kendrick.
Everybody knows I'm a fan.
He got some slappers on.
That's absolutely slappers.
I went there trying to hate.
And then I listened to it again this morning, and there was a few.
There you go.
Crazy, spooky, scary, hilarious.
I don't know what's left of the gunplay, so anything he's on, that's fine.
That's all the samples are like.
No, they killed it.
It's a good album.
Fuck you, though.
Catching a stray on a slapper is fire.
It kills me.
That's why I love it at the same time.
It's fire.
But I don't like him threatening the violence.
I don't like that.
I don't like him telling people to slide on you.
I'm a civilian.
I'm going to the copster.
What if it's too late?
What if they fucking do something to you?
I mean, I don't leave my house.
But my feeling is like, yo, Kendrick, I feel like Kendrick is talking all this shit.
And for whatever reason, we're just letting him talk all this shit.
You know what I mean?
Because we decided we love him right now.
I get it.
I do get it.
But at the same time, like.
And I've always been a fan, but I also said this even in the Drake thing when he said the shit about your next show at the bay, whatever he said basically kind of like called the violence.
Yeah.
Remember when Rick Ross got beat up?
I was like, yo, Kendrick, you got to fall back on that.
He's called a violence Trump on January 6th.
Yo.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's trying to get people to storm the Capitol a little bit.
He tries to go to hell.
Can't people go to Charlotte.
That's dangerous rhetoric out there.
Stand back, stand by.
Stand back or stand by.
He's not even saying that.
He's saying, get up in that ass.
But it is crazy.
But I need Kendrick.
I need you to do it, Kendrick.
You want Squabble up?
I need.
No, no.
I mean, here's the thing.
This is the thing that is kind of funny about it.
It's like, first of all, Kendrick's people and the gang affiliate, you know, everybody, his security, they will kill me.
They will destroy me.
They'll find me in the street.
They'll fucking cut me up.
They'll shoot me.
They'll do whatever.
I'm not a tough guy.
Y'all would do it.
But just Kendrick, I would make love to him.
There's nothing he could do about it.
Just Kendrick Lamar.
I would make love to him.
And the only thing that he could do is decide if it's consensual or not.
That's the only thing he could do.
If it's me and Kendrick, if it's me and Kendrick, this is about physics.
It's about physics.
I don't even know if I'll get hard.
But if we're in a cell, there's a chance that if we're in a cell and we're bored and we done tattooing each other, whatever you do in the cell, and we ran out of board games and we did all the other things.
We cleaned everything.
And I'm like, man, I might as well fuck you.
There's nothing he could physically do to stop that.
Besides put his legs in the air and choose a position.
Maybe I let him choose a position.
Why are you pulling this picture up, Mark?
Why are you doing this?
Put up that picture with him and Travis Kelsey's girl.
Look at that.
Oh, my God, dude.
That's unbelievable.
Yo, I'll be honest.
I would go so far as to say, I don't think he could stop most people on the planet from having sex with him.
Like, the only reason he got security is to stop people from having sex with him whenever he wants.
Now, don't get wrong.
There's people who could fuck me against my will.
I was in an elevator once with this drag queen, and this motherfucker was like 6'5.
Oh, yeah.
And we're in the elevator and we're going down.
I'm like, yo, if he wanted to take it, I got to cause a ruckus or something like that.
I got to shoot my pants.
I got to do something.
I got to do something to stop.
He might enjoy it.
I have no clue what they're into, but I know for with Kendrick that he's talking a lot of shit, but if it came down to it, I could put him on my lap.
I could feed him a bottle, or I could put him on my lap, I could feed him a bottle and make love to him if I wanted to, and there's nothing he could do about it.
I might not be hard, dick might just slap soft against his butt, but you could just beat him up.
You don't fuck him, no, no, no, no.
We're not doing acts of physical violence over here, bro.
That's what this is an act of sweet love.
This is an act of love.
You're a passivist.
I'm saying I could be romantic with him, and there's nothing he could do about it to the point.
Like, I think I'm so charming, he would just fall into it.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think he would just be so charmed.
He would be like, damn, like, whap, Let me suck it up.
This is MLK's dream, right here.
Yes.
For real.
Listen, so we need to figure this out.
We need to figure out, like, the only thing he could do is after I was finished, like, write some words that rhyme together about it.
Oh, that's it.
You know what I mean?
Like, that would be.
And that would, oh, my God.
He can make some calls.
He can make some calls.
Yeah, you want to talk about another album called Damn.
Sit down.
Reincarnate.
Ask how penetrated.
Listen, but in all seriousness, we love Kendrick Lamar, our woke king.
And I think we're going to do our best to abide by his.
I don't know what his rules are about me having sex with him if we're in a room together.
I don't think you want that.
We don't know.
Well, I'm assuming.
We got to wait about five years for him to make another album.
That's right.
There is a chance in five years he would make another album.
And the song about this is going to be sensational.
It's going to be absolutely sensational.
Don't you think?
He's going to have some bars for you at the Super Bowl.
Watch.
He is.
He's going to have some bars for you.
I mean, the irony that he's like, we need to protect women.
He's performing at the Super Bowl, which is literally the Super Bowl of beating the shit out of women, guys.
This is the problem.
It's like when you're on your way up, nobody looks at your hypocrisy because they want you to be on the throne.
Naturally, human beings, we all have this.
Like, we look at the number two and we're like, I see myself in you.
Go out there.
Go get it.
Once you're on the throne, all we see is hypocrisy.
It's like Joe Biden with his son right now.
Yeah.
Right?
It's, you know, it's anytime the person is in power, and clearly Kendrick is number one right now.
Anytime he's out there, now we're looking back at what he's done and we're like, oh, you're this woke guy, but then you really do shit with people that are completely inconsistent with what you say you care about.
Maybe you're just using this as an identity to feed your narcissism.
And you can't just go out there and be a complete narcissist.
So you're going to masquerade as an altruist, someone who protects the community, but you only do it when it benefits you, when you put out an album.
Like, where's all this love for black women when Kamalo was running for president?
Like, was he out there riding?
She's Indian, apparently.
Good ass point.
Good ass point.
She locked up too many of his dudes, you know.
That's true.
Alleging Payola And Narcissism00:15:05
What I hope is he's just a person who fucked up.
Like, this is a line.
It was a throwaway line.
You should have thrown it away.
Yeah.
Just say you weren't talking about me.
That's the best thing you could do, Kendrick.
Yo, I don't know who Shulchi is.
That guy's scary, stupid, hilarious, or whatever.
Just say he's scary.
And I don't know.
I don't even know who he is.
I never even heard of his comedy.
I don't know anything about that guy.
That was for someone else.
That bar was for someone else.
I think that's the smartest thing that he could do.
Yeah, he don't want what you don't want to do is say my name.
Well, it's hard to write three times.
I would feel like Andy Man.
That's fast.
What rhymes with Schultz, though?
Like, that's so hard to put into a song.
Electric bolts.
Oh, sick.
Oh, that could be, that could be sick.
That'd be kind of cool.
Yeah.
What other things?
Indianapolis Colts.
John Smaltz, Lou Holtz.
This rap shit is low-key easy.
Here we are thinking there's some geniuses.
They're just rhyming some words together.
That is true.
And making shit up.
Yeah, it's not that hard.
You know what I mean?
Fuck.
Go back to talk about Drink.
How he's a fucking deadbeat dad while you do songs with future.
But boys, the woke always get exposed.
Are you going to make a commitment to not making any more racial jokes?
I'm going to make a commitment right now that if Kendrick wants to squabble up, I'm tongue-kissing him.
You don't have to do that.
What the hell?
What?
I was like, you're married.
What the fuck?
What voice should I make him singing?
What song should I make?
But listen, if we're in a jail cell, you'll pull your back out having to duck that.
Listen, if we're in a jail cell, low-key, if we're in a jail cell, right?
And we're making sweet love, you know?
Because there's nothing he could do about it.
I like that you're making it consensual sweet love.
Can I say that?
No, it's consensual sweet love because at a certain point in time, you realize there's nothing I got.
He's a pillow.
Yeah.
Why are you in a jail cell for this?
No, but this is a pillow.
That's what I could do.
I could be like, yo, put your thighs at the end of my bed.
I'm going to rest my head on it while I go sleep.
And there's nothing he could do about it.
His people could absolutely destroy me.
I'm not a tough guy.
But Kendrick, Kendrick, it could be a not even, I would use him as a whole body pillow.
So I'd say, lay there, rigamortis, but I'm going to put like your legs in between my legs.
Do you know how pregnant women sleep?
Like a waifu.
That's your waifu.
That's my waifu.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
100%.
Anyway.
No, no, I had a point that I was just about to make with this.
No, very serious.
You made plenty of points, right?
It was a very serious point.
You think I'm just talking about frivolous sex with Kendrick Lawani?
How do you think that we're doing this podcast?
It's incredible.
It's not frivolous sex.
It's making sweet love.
It's making sweet love.
Yeah.
Buttercup.
Only white comedians can make this joke, bro.
Who don't even know if we can?
It's a new love.
I don't know that.
White comedians.
Don't drop a fucking me in the ass.
Like, I wouldn't put that.
I said, fuck him, his ass.
Excuse me.
I said I'd make him hold his thighs together tight.
Make a little pussy out of that.
I put my dickword doo-doos, Mark.
That's disgusting.
That's gay.
Make a little thigh pussy for me.
Squeeze it tight.
You know what I mean?
I would do that.
Put your legs up in the air, seawalk in the sky, and make a little thigh pussy for your boy.
That's not gay.
That's not gay.
I need you like this.
I need thigh pussy for my night today.
All right.
Yes.
This is sit down.
Be humble.
Okay.
All right, next.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm just a good kid in a mad city.
There's a good child in a mad city.
It's fucking mad out here.
Oh, man.
Come on.
I feel like they put the other A in it.
That was good.
Yes, because it's really mad.
It's really mad.
Do you know?
Hey, man.
Kendrick, we love you, bro.
But love you.
That's true.
He loves you.
That's love.
This is all said with love.
No malice.
Yo, no malice.
We love you, man.
We wish you best of luck with all your future endeavors.
Best of luck on top.
It's hard being on top, my boy.
It's hard being on top.
On top of that.
Don't you do it.
I was asking.
Don't you do it.
It's easier than being on bottom.
But I will say, as far as that line goes, we're going to make fun of everybody.
That's just the reality of the matter.
Everyone gets these jokes.
That's the ethos of the show.
It's the ethos of the comedy that we do.
And the second you start, and he just might not be aware of it.
I don't know if he's doing it to sell records or if he's doing it because he just thinks it rhymes or it looks good or he's taking advantage of like a viral moment, knowing that we'll react and know on the internet we'll react.
But the reality is the second you make a group protected, everything else becomes racist.
You're either racist to that group or you're racist to everybody else.
And when you make fun of everybody, that is the one beautiful thing that allows us to kind of come together and laugh at ourselves and each other.
I've been very fortunate to travel the world making fun of people of all different race, religions, cultures to their face, everywhere around the world.
That is a problem.
Everywhere.
And they've had an incredible sense of humor about it.
They're coming out specifically to see that happen.
So it's not something that's ever going to change.
And maybe it's something that he'll learn.
And maybe it's something that he'll start to understand a little bit more.
He might just not know really anything about comedy.
I know that sounds crazy, but it just might not be his thing.
And like he might just have that knee-jerk reaction and he's just like, yo, this is wrong.
Maybe it's the only clip that got sent his way.
Exactly.
And if you only get sent one clip, then you're like, oh, fuck this guy.
But yeah, I just, that was disappointing as a fan.
I was like, ugh.
Yeah.
Because you never want, like, imagine the person in your friend group going, guys, guys, can we not talk about Asian men for a little bit?
Yeah, a little bit.
Like, imagine one of your friends saying that.
Not my friend anymore.
He's not my friend anymore.
No, we are killing that motherfucker for the next three months.
Remember that time where you were gay?
That's where you say, remember, you acted like a gay guy at that time?
And for three months, he's just getting destroyed.
Out of the group checks.
Yeah.
Immediately.
So you don't want to be kung fu Karen.
That is what ends up happening when you have this type of rhetoric.
Now, being on top is different.
Being on top is much harder.
It's way harder to lead.
It's easy to conquer.
It's hard to lead.
So we hope you do the best with your reign.
And if it's deserved, then it will be long.
And if it's not deserved, then it will be short.
And you're the one that decides that.
That was very mature.
Thank you very much.
Hell yeah.
Shout out Drake, though.
You know what I mean?
Shout out Drake.
Now, I almost feel like I should just say a bunch of things about Kendrick that aren't true to get it out the way now in case he tries to say shit about me.
Oh.
Like you got to get there first.
Strike first.
Do you know what I mean?
He's probably al-Qaeda.
That's not true.
I think he did 9-11.
Listen, you got because he called Drake a pedophile.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, I got to call him shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anything is better than suing.
That's just going to call him anything you want.
He's his error.
He's suing.
Yeah, isn't that errorist?
He's an amphibian.
You're an amphibian.
He could breathe underwater, man.
He could breathe underwater.
I bet you didn't know that about a fan.
I'm not a fan on land.
The life tour, the final show, Hawaii, Honolulu, December 21st.
This is the last one.
I can't believe we're even saying this.
It's been almost two years of my life.
Yeah, it's just unbelievable.
I'm looking forward to coming back out to Hawaii.
All the boys coming.
It's going to be a wild time, man.
We're going to make that show extra, extra, extra special.
You know how much love we got for you guys out there, man.
Yeah, I can't wait.
The Blidesdale, the Bladesdale.
We all always say I fuck out the pronunciation, but you know the arena.
Grab your tickets and we will see you there very soon.
Peace.
Also, guys, tour dates.
We got a lot more dates we're going to announce soon for 2025.
For 2024, the last show is December 4th.
We sold out Long Island.
Yo, shout out to Trump.
You did your thing on that one.
December 6th and 7th, this is the last weekend for me for 2024.
We're going to be in Albany at the Funnybone Comedy Club.
Buy your tickets, Akasyng.com before they sell out.
Thank y'all.
This has been so fucking cool.
The ticket sales have like doubled.
I am selling out knock on wood.
I don't know how many weekends in a row.
It's been awesome.
We've been adding shows.
I'm so grateful to you guys.
Thank you guys so much.
I love y'all.
I'll see y'all next week with announcements for 2025.
What is going on with this Drake lawsuit?
Yeah, Mark, please break this down because on the surface, it seems embarrassing.
Yeah, it's interesting.
So it's technically not a lawsuit.
Tangley.
Oh, whoa.
Tangle is not a lawsuit.
Petition.
Okay.
Hey, that'll make it better.
Well, technically, that'll make it better.
Well, I think the headline is like, oh, Drake's suing Kendrick Lamar, which is not really true.
No, he's...
The headville headline is suing UMG.
Yeah.
Right.
But I think people commonly see it as like, oh, he's suing Kendrick, da-da-da, which is technically, there's like, I don't know the exact terms.
I can look it up, but basically like pre-judicial.
They're looking for documents.
They're suing to get evidence.
They're not suing.
They're petitioning to get evidence so that they could build a lawsuit.
To build a lawsuit if the evidence is there against UMG.
And his attorneys are basically claiming that UMG was effectively boosting the streams on Kendrick Lamar's Not Like Us record.
And how would they do that?
By basically giving it at a discount for the royalties.
Can you explain how that works?
So effectively, the way I understand it is that in order to run a stream, then whenever you do the stream from a platform, you have to pay the label.
So Spotify would have to pay UMG.
Yes.
And then UMG sets the stream at a price.
Correct.
And what you're saying, or Drake is alleging, is that UMG gave a discounted price to Spotify that made them play it more because it was more advantageous to them.
They're like, oh my God, I get 30% off.
Let me just keep spinning this song.
Correct.
There's other allegations that people within Spotify that, quote, had a perceived loyalty to Drake were fired.
And so this was like an apparent effort to conceal the scheme.
And then they also claimed that by boosting certain streams by one artist because there's a zero-sum game, that it also devalued Drake's ability to organically get streams.
So because Kendrick's stream is getting much more play because it's zero-sum, Drake is getting less play.
Now, this is quite interesting because there's another component to this.
I don't know how true this is, but apparently Drake was in a contract negotiation with UMG at the time.
He had just delivered, I think, on his last contract, which was like $400 million.
And now he's re-upping.
He's like, how do I get a $600 million contract?
Or whatever.
And UMG, I think, was basically like, we don't want to give you even $400.
We want to give you less.
So I think he's alleging that they boosted this not like us song so that it could hurt Drake's stock so that they would have a better negotiation for his upcoming album.
A lot of sports franchises do that.
I was just about to say 100%.
So like, you know, NFL players had a great year.
He's about to re-sign and all of a sudden a video comes out of him like doing Coke with a hooker.
Yeah.
And you could make the argument that the team holds on to that information.
And then when it's time for contracts, they drop it.
Yeah.
You've heard that.
So that's, I think that is now whether this is true or not, first of all, I mean, obviously suing in a situation like this, you lose all street cred.
Also, like he's being called a pedophile in the song, but didn't he tell Kendrick to call him a pedophile in his earlier song?
Yeah.
He also like he had a bar like talking about the video of me kissing the 16 year old.
Oh, like when he tried to M ⁇ M himself where he like says all that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then Kendrick was like, okay.
For the record also, Universal and Spotify have said that it's untrue.
Well, the 30% discount thing up there.
That is true, though, right?
Yeah, the 30% discount thing is true, but apparently that's been done before.
And I think it's been done for Drake.
Essentially, something, this might not be it, but something like when you become the featured artist on a Spotify page, UMG might say, hey, if you do that, we'll discount the licensing fee or whatever.
And then Spotify is incentivized to be like, okay, bet.
And Drake was all over Spotify and Apple Music for, I think, Jim.
Guaranteed Scorpio.
Guaranteed whatever they're doing for this song, they have done with Drake.
They've done with all their artists.
It's marketing.
Right.
And like, so he's alleging payola.
He's alleging all these other things.
There's an interesting argument here, which is like, Drake really feels like this song isn't actually a hit.
Like, he's been talking about bots and he's been talking about all these things in the beginning.
And I wonder if it comes from this place of Drake's never really heard the song out because whenever he's out, nobody plays the song.
So I wonder if like, he's a dude who's out.
He's at the club.
He's doing different things.
He's at social events.
He's not hearing this song ever.
And I wonder if in his mind, he's like, I don't think motherfuckers are playing it.
Now, it's delusional.
Yeah.
He's also heavy online.
He's so plugged in.
But yeah, but there's got to be some disconnect where he would even go bots.
He would even believe all of the allegations that he's claiming are true.
Are true.
I think also true for every artist.
Yes.
Yes.
Right.
So you just crying when it happened to you.
Yeah.
Not when you're.
But also the nature of it happening is slightly different.
Like him just promoting a standard album is one thing, but this is a direct album that's not just also trying to float, but actively aggressing towards him.
Right.
Like it's actively defaming his reputation.
But that is the nature of a rap battle.
It's like he, if they, if they boosted his Taylor Maids or Meet the Grahams or whatever it is, it would also defame.
I'm fairly certain they boosted Family Matters and they must have boosted Back to Back.
Back to Back slapped.
It was a crazy hit.
But I'm positive, again, like you said, bots are just everywhere.
They're just working every song.
Back to back was the fucking song of the year, whatever you're calling.
I got a question.
Is this their PR company, like a Drake PR company?
Like I see this with Drake.
I see this with The Weekend.
I see it's a bunch of artists.
Every few days, there's an onslaught of every Instagram page that's like about music has more or less the same post where it's just like, Drake is the number one most listened to artist.
And they all have a different variation of the same post.
It all comes out.
And as I'm scrolling casually, I go, man, he's popping this motherfucker, whatever.
But I wonder if that is a PR agency that it's their job to constantly push the narrative that this person is the number one artist.
So that is a coordinated effort.
Bots Feeding Political Narratives00:10:18
Absolutely.
Wow.
I feel so stupid to just put that together now.
Here I am thinking, if we don't get a write-up about something, you know, or if we're not included in a list or something like that, like, I guess nobody just acknowledges us.
Because we just didn't push it out there to tell them.
Because we're not paying a PR agency to constantly push a narrative.
I put together there's certain people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All that stuff.
All the Instagram pages.
Even old print magazines, I think people know, like World, like Sexiest Man in America.
That's all PR.
It's all paper.
Oh, my God.
But it's effective because to the, I'm not, I wouldn't even call myself a casual.
I'm like pretty into media.
And I'm being, I don't want to say duped, but I am believing the narrative.
I'm like, oh, my God, this must be the biggest thing in the world.
Here we are busting our ass on our own Instagram, hoping people see it.
When in reality, for way less money, you could just pay 20 other Instagram pages and then you'll feel like it's unescapable.
Yeah, so it feels decentralized because you're going through it and you're like, dude, all of these disparate things that have nothing to do with each other are all promoting the same narrative.
And this is beyond music.
I mean, dude, there were comedians when we were coming up when those, when we used to take, we used to really care about those like hottest comedians.
Yeah, yeah.
There were some comedians that they were funny, sure, but early on they were on every fucking list and you were like, what the hell is this?
So they got their agents or their agents or the manager, the P, whoever, the manager probably boom, boom, boom, boom.
And then you start to buy in this guy.
Is this the hottest sites the way they work?
It's like you just send it to a couple of the topics.
And they caught each other.
Trickles down of his various situations.
Now, the word, is it inescapable?
Inescapable.
The inescapability of it, I think, is the greatest motivating factor because when you see 10 things online, it feels like the biggest story.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, with, I mean, honestly what happened with the Kendrick thing.
It's like you're online and you see every single post is about it.
They're like, oh, Kendrick Take Shot and Schultz or whatever.
And you're like, oh, wow, this feels big.
In the grand scheme of things, it's nothing.
Nobody gives a fucking fucking shit.
But the perception, how wow.
I know I must sound like an absolute retard right now, but if this works with.
I was too.
I didn't know yes.
If this works for like a random narrative around a rap song or a rapper or whatever, imagine what they're feeding to us politically.
Imagine what they're feeding to us culturally.
Oh, yeah, dude.
We'll get to it with the Biden.
You can hear the same line from different media outlets.
Sorry, about Joe Biden and defending this exact line.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Would you say decentralization?
Yeah.
That is where it becomes so effective.
Yeah.
When it feels like everyone around you shares the opinion, if you don't have the opinion, you go, I must be wrong.
Yeah.
You just automatically conform.
Yeah.
Bro, you wonder if Kendrick put that lyric in there because he knew you were going to talk about it.
Of course.
And then you were going to promote the album.
Of course.
He didn't count on us taking Thanksgiving off.
Crazy, spooky, scary.
It's with the nice style banner episode.
Take that.
Okay.
Now we talk about it.
He fucking got us.
God damn.
He's fucking smart, man.
Yeah, but how many Easter eggs do we have in this episode that you didn't even realize?
Dude, there's so many.
Oh, Kendrick fans, there's so many Easter eggs.
Find them.
He just missed one.
There was one.
Let's see if you can rewind it and find it.
The total time of the episode was 366 seconds.
But yeah, even the rap beef between Kendrick and Drake, I think in the grand scheme of things, the entire world didn't really care.
Like, Drake is still going to be the top streaming artist or rap artist.
But to us, that was the only thing.
We think Drake has been dethroned.
He hasn't.
That's so he's still going to have to.
Like, numbers?
Numbers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just think Drake is.
Maybe a little bit here, but I think worldwide, no.
Yep.
This is, I think this is, and I think it's smart what he's doing now.
Like, he's going to do a little tour in Australia.
I thought that was really smart because the way that Kendrick timed this beef was brilliant.
Yeah.
Right when you finish your tour, I'm going to go to war with you.
And you have nothing to show that you're popping.
Right?
Because the beauty of having a tour is say whatever you want.
Videos are coming out.
That's reality.
All this is chit-chatting comments online.
That's reality, right?
There's been people that have said some shit about me online or made videos about me online.
But then when we post The Garden, Crypto, The Forum, The Arena, Etihad Arena, the arenas in Australia, literally the arenas Drake is playing in Australia were the arenas that we play in Australia.
It's like, it's very hard to believe that when you're seeing the reality of people showing up.
And I think that Drake needs a nice win.
Drake needs the.
You know what the tour is called, Anita Max Wind.
Yeah, that I didn't think he was smart.
It felt a little desperate.
Yeah.
But we could let Drake off the hook.
This is the dumbest thing he could have possibly done.
This suing shit.
Oh, like this is street credit.
He looks so fucking coin.
And that's what I would say to anybody who says his streams are going to be up because Drake is a pop star.
He just is.
It's like saying Nelly out.
He outsold, I don't know, Jay-Z maybe in the year 2000, from 2000 to 2007.
That'll make him a better rapper than Jay-Z, or nobody's going to put him on a rap list above Jay-Z.
But it was pop music that hit.
Drake has pop music that hits, so he's always going to be crazy ahead on streams.
I just think as a rapper, he's moving horribly.
Anita Max Wynn, not a great name for a tour.
The lawsuit, it's like you already got embarrassed and now you're just embarrassing yourself.
What are you doing?
But what if it goes to a lawsuit and then he's able to win and successfully prove in a court that Kendrick's streams were inflated?
No one cares.
Yeah.
The song was still fire.
That's the thing.
And this is the thing that he's messing up.
If the song wasn't a slapper, but it was really popular, I think that we'd be like, ah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
The song goes crazy.
Yeah.
It goes, it's almost as good as whacked out murals.
It's really on that level.
I might be biased, but it's on that level of whacked out murals.
But what if Not London Guys had to think about what jokes were funny?
Then do you think it would have been just greatest of all time?
Greatest song of all time.
You could charge Spotify double.
We're still streaming.
That shit would have beat Thriller.
Yeah.
That would have been a beat Thriller.
Yeah, no, if he said about Euphoria and I love Euphoria, but like, we'd be like, oh, yeah, Euphoria being the number one song in the world seems a little weird.
Yes.
But not like us.
You hear it outside everywhere and everybody's rapping every lyric when it comes on.
Dot fuck him up.
Is that like yeah, fuck him up.
Yeah, that shit is crazy.
No, he listen, he's really good at making music.
That's the other thing.
As annoying as he can be, he is also very good at making music.
Some of the stuff, I'm like, okay, whatever.
But sometimes you hear it and you're like, what the fuck?
This guy's phenomenal at the craft of making music.
So saying that somebody's using bots that's also really good at making music, it's a tough pill to swallow for, I think.
And has been co-signed by every other GOAT.
Every other GOAT also says, nah, this guy's a fucking truth.
So it's not even, you can't just say, oh, only casuals like him.
You can't just say, like, if I hate on Drake, but Snoop, Jay-Z, whoever, every one of them is like, nah, that guy is different.
I'm a dickhead.
Fucking Snoop apologized.
Yeah, yeah.
To who?
To Kendrick.
Kendrick.
What'd he say?
What did Kendrick say about Snoop?
He said, So remember when Drake put out the disswear.
The Taylor Made freestyle?
The AI.
And like Snoop reposted it.
And Kendrick's like, yo, how are you going to do that?
Like, you must have been, you must have ate edibles.
He said it must have been the Edibles.
He said, like, I prayed it was the Edibles or something like that.
Basically, like, why is a West Coast guy big up in someone else using Chupac's voice and whatever?
And then Snoop tweeted GNX album is fire.
You're right, Kendrick was the Edibles or something like that with a laughing crying emoji.
Snoop's the man.
Yeah.
Snoop could do whatever he wants, bro.
That's OG.
Snoop could do whatever he wants.
And the fact that he even retracted that, that's that is they're respecting Kendrick like that.
Like Drake is every step, even the fucking going on streaming and the betting and doing little subliminals.
Like it's, you can tell he's still going at DeMar DeRose and what's going on.
I think he's still bothered.
Yeah, I think Drake, like most people in entertainment, care deeply what people think of fair and they crave approval.
Fair.
And now for the first time in 20 years, Drake believes that the perception of him might be skewed.
It might be he's a pedophile or it might be he's, I don't think that people really believe he's a pedophile.
Do you guys think that they really believe that?
I don't think so.
I don't think so, but it's just a funny thing.
Oh, no.
It's a funny punchline, right?
But I think that that really affects him.
Listen, he is a performer.
He's an artist.
He does something in front of a crowd.
We know a lot about that.
We're affected by what people think about.
I absolutely am.
And that's got to be fucking tough, especially when you've been loved by everybody.
A reign that we have never seen.
Phenomenal.
Maybe all, not all the music, but definitely rap.
We've never seen someone on top for a decade, plus 15 years, on top.
Even when Push exposed him for whatever.
Came back.
Right back within a month.
You know how Drake wins us?
Just threatened to make sweet love to Kendrick.
That's what I'm saying.
Because we saw that piece.
That piece is real.
But that piece is real.
That's aggravated assault.
That's dangerous.
Deadly weapons.
That's assault with a deadly weapon.
So you say you're not carrying like that?
My shit is going to fit a little better.
My shit is going to fit a little better.
And then I'm going to call Kenny my holster.
Drake Threatens Sweet Love00:03:43
Shove him like us.
Hey, thank you, Don.
No, but for real, I don't think he went there with it.
And he needs to.
That's where you need to go with it.
If you're really about that life, C-O-B.
Certified lover boy.
Show us that you're a certified lover boy, man.
Put him on your lap.
Give him the popcorn.
You got to give him that pop, pop, pop.
Stop sucking popcorn.
Stop sucking popcorn.
No, for real, you got to give him that popcorn.
If you're not willing to go there, you're not willing to win a battle.
You're not willing to win a beef.
Kendrick went there.
Call him a pedophile.
You got to go there.
Come here, little kiss.
Sit on my lap.
That is the only one.
You can't go anywhere.
There's nowhere past that.
Or Kendrick got to be like, I'm going to suck it.
Oh, that's the only way.
And then they meet up.
Then they meet up.
And he's watch.
You deserve this.
You know that.
You deserve this.
It's going to break the internet, right?
Yes, it will.
To break the internet.
We started right here.
They face off.
That's fucking no surprise.
What type of loot do you want?
Monster!
All right.
We solved it, guys.
Yeah, I think we did figure it out.
Everybody gets these jokes, yo.
Everybody.
Yeah.
Everybody.
And nobody's going to stop getting them.
Okay.
Absolutely.
That's the reality of the matter.
Maybe not my grandma, though.
Can we stop that?
Listen, we're going to.
She's alive.
She is alive.
Okay, just check it.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Well, God rewarded her for what she did for those songs.
That's going nowhere.
What do you think the flaps look like, though?
What are you doing?
Must I have a shit?
What do you think your flaps look like?
What do you mean?
I think she got like a palm tree hanging out of something.
What?
This is what I mean, bro.
Are we mowing?
I'll see you more.
Are we going to stop the joke somewhere?
Marsh Grandpa.
No, there's some things you don't have to joke about.
Shut him up.
You can't.
Oh, you know, Kendrick talked about his grandma, too.
What?
His line in TV off.
Bitch, I cut my granny off if she don't see it how I see it.
God damn.
That's wild.
Cut your granny off?
Yeah.
No, I would never cut my granny off.
You know, she sucked out.
I'll never cut your granny off either.
Yeah, I had to ask you.
I know, you should have done her off.
I'm not cutting her granny off.
Yo, yo, apologize to your grandma, Kendrick.
God, that's law.
You can't make jokes about your grandma.
That's law.
You can't make bars, I mean, lines about your grandma.
That's what Kendrick sounds like.
Do you think he realizes that's what he says?
Hey, you're being mean to your grandma.
Hey, stop that.
Another word on that place.
No, but for real, back to your grandma.
No, bro.
I think we got to put our legs in the diamonds.
No, don't do that.
You got to put her legs in the diamonds.
You got to put her legs like that.
You got to go put her in the diamonds.
And then you got to get up in between the diamonds.
And then you have her toes go webbing to webbing and cross like that to lock in.
No, yes, you do.
No, that's law.
No, no, no, no.
Then you take her in the bounce house.
Take her in the bounce house.
Call up Drake.
Take her in the Bounce House.
Diamonds And Underdog Teams00:07:06
Let's go into some topics.
Let's talk some sports, dude.
Yo, what do we got going on?
Yo, first of all, there's going to be great games this week.
Who we got?
The best games is this Thursday.
Thursday night games are not always good.
Is that on Amazon?
Amazon.
Amazon Prime.
The Packers, Lions.
The Lions are, I think, 11-1.
Best team in the league, according to most people.
Packers are a little up and down, but still very good.
They're like 9-3, I think.
And it's a, but it's a divisional game.
And I think it's in Detroit, but still, it's going to be a fucking good game.
I actually think Green Bay has a chance.
I think Detroit has been kind of, they had some huge wins, massive wins, but they had a few in a row, it seems like, where they just kind of squeak by.
Why are they so good this year?
I know they were good last year, but like.
I think the offensive coordinator, his name is Ben Johnson.
He's a fucking amazing, like really creative play designs.
A good offensive coordinator can level up the play of the quarterback.
Jared Goff has been fairly good his whole career.
Nothing incredible at all, but this year he's like playing out of his mind.
So I think that's the main thing.
And then I think the coach Dan Campbell made like a culture that is like he's legit.
If you watch the hard knocks at all, that's a show I don't normally care for.
But if you watch the Detroit Lions one from like two years ago when he first got there, it's awesome.
You love this guy.
You love playing for him.
You love rooting for him.
And they've just all bought in in a way that I didn't know if they could recover from San Francisco, but they did.
I think the coach said something that was said something about that loss.
He's like, well, this is the hardest thing.
It's getting your team back up to go do it again.
Yeah.
Like when you reach almost the mountaintop, that's a far wish.
And they had a big lead and they blew it.
They just fell apart.
I don't know if they'll fall apart this year.
The Eagles look really good.
The Packers look good.
They come to the bottom of the ball.
I mean, this Sequoi Barkley turnaround is unfucking believable, dude.
And what is it?
It's just like, is it better play calling?
Is it better line?
It's healthier and it's a good offensive line.
Good offensive line makes the biggest difference.
But also, he's just healthy this year.
I think we love these stories because there's always a little bit in us, this feeling like if I was given the opportunity.
Yeah, and he was kind of disrespected by the Giants in free agency, which we all identify with.
Feeling disrespected, unappreciated by employers, blah, blah, blah.
So we're all kind of rooting for him.
The other game that's going to be really good, though, is the Chiefs and Chargers.
I think the Chargers actually have a shot at this.
Because the Chiefs just keep beating.
They barely beat everyone.
They're winning every fucking time.
It's like defying all probability, but they're winning every game by like three points, two points.
But isn't there a little part of you that goes, that's because when the going gets tough, they have another level they can get to.
I think so.
But the Bills beat them, I think, pretty handily, I think.
And the Bills are really good.
They're like a truly good team.
And I think the Chargers with Jim Harbaugh is their new coach, and he's a quarterback guy.
I think they're a good team.
So you're going to be able to do that.
I think I go Lions and I think I go Chargers.
Wow.
But I don't know what the spreads are or anything like that.
Those are teams I think will win.
But yeah, I think the Chargers can actually beat the Chiefs.
I think, again.
I mean, that's probably the money right there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mahomes seems to pull it out.
But like that, those would be my picks.
Yeah, he's just so tough.
But this is a fun football season, man.
There's a, I can't believe I'm going to, I know people are going to be so excited when I make this analogy with Paddle, but I've noticed, you know, if we're playing against people that are better than us and it goes to like a golden point, I don't know if they do this in tennis at all, where it's like deuce and you just go, okay, whoever wins the next one.
Oh, no.
Okay.
So I noticed we're playing with people that are better than us.
It might get to golden, but they win every golden.
And it's because they have that extra level.
Yeah.
And they just took their foot off the gas a little bit.
We got kind of close.
They wouldn't close it.
Like, no, they have another fucking level.
And I feel like that's Pat Mahomes.
Yeah.
It's like, if he has that kind of Brady-esque composure where it's like, if you let him stay in the game late, he's going to make something happen.
Yeah, yeah.
So you need to like really pad that fucking lead against it.
Yeah, I guess actually the Bills game did get close now that I think about it.
But yeah, that could be it.
But at the NFL, the talent disparity is not what, because of free agency and all these other things, there's a lot more parody.
So it's not like you can just slide by doing that forever.
Like, sorry, go, go, go.
The talent gap between you and the guys across from the net is probably pretty big.
Yeah, big.
This is not.
The NFL is not, I mean, he's the best, but like, you know, can you tell me the Derrick Henry story that I keep hearing about?
Derrick Henry.
There's like a resurgence.
Oh, dude.
So he could, he.
The idea is that the idea of running backs, you don't pay him after 30.
Derrick Henry is one of the best running backs ever, maybe.
And he enters free agency.
He says kind of openly, I want to play for Dallas.
Dallas is like, nope, we want to save our money.
We're cheap.
We're like the fucking Clippers from back in the day.
We just don't spend on free agents.
They don't sign him.
Baltimore picks him up and he's having a crazy year.
But he's like insanely dedicated.
Like one of these Tom Brady types diet type.
That's what I've heard.
No fried food, no refined sugar, intermittent fasting, won't eat until after his workout.
But like, if he does eat, it'll be like a banana or half an avocado.
Suffering.
But then also the play that went viral in Thanksgiving is he got like handled, handily tackled by some little white cornerback.
Oh, Dijon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cooper Dijon.
Cooper Dijon.
But it was tricky.
Like he was catching a screen, so he didn't really beautiful.
But yeah, Derrick Henry's still a problem.
Okay.
Yeah.
And is this another one of these cool stories where the two running backs that could potentially break the running back record were guys that potentially were after thugs?
Yeah, yeah, like kind of just not wanted by their old teams and nobody was really going crazy and phrasing.
These are the storylines you need in sports.
I feel like outside of who's going to win the championship.
There's the who's going to win the championship.
And then there's like the underdogs.
You can't really call Fernandes.
But these like personal stories where you can relate to them outside of them actually winning the final game.
And team, team-wise, underdog-wise, Buffalo looks like at the moment the best team in the league.
Historically, never won anything.
Super loyal fans, the best Bills Mafia.
You almost want them to get one.
And then the other one is Detroit.
Detroit, like we all feel bad for Detroit as a city.
And then all of a sudden, they're the best team in the league.
This is the best record they've ever had through 12 games.
So those two storylines alone in each conference is enough to make this exciting.
The Chargers are good again.
Jim Harabaugh is kind of taking this quarterback that we thought might not be good and turning or might be falling apart and turning him around.
It's like, there's so many storylines going right now.
It's so fun.
NFL knows what they're doing.
I'm cool.
I'm curious to see what happens once the Netflix games come on.
Yeah, it's going to be interesting.
Because it's to me, it's just, and I know people can do it because they have YouTube TV on their phone or whatever like that, but it just seems so much easier to open up the app and watch the game.
And the Tyson qualified proved that 60 million households.
Yeah.
Insanity.
It's just so much easier.
I think that it's going to be very hard to not open up your phone and just watch a little of the game.
In the same way that now that the pay-per-views are one click away on your phone, I'm watching every single day.
It's also just habit.
Watching Games On Netflix00:02:19
The first thing most people go to is Netflix.
If they're on TV on their smart TV, first app I open is Netflix.
Yeah.
And then that transition for sports because sports were the last one.
They're the last one that needed to.
Yeah.
Right.
Because we're going to watch the fucking games no matter what.
But if those numbers double, triple, yeah, skyrocket it, yeah, yeah.
What does that do for the brand?
And how much will Netflix pay for the rights?
Because networks would pay everything because sports is one of the few things you have to watch live.
There's like a few TV shows, maybe every year, maybe, maybe one, honestly, a year.
But sports, if I'm watching, if I'm waiting, it might get ruined for me.
God, oh, fuck.
So I'll watch it live.
I'll talk to my friends.
And so networks will pay for it because advertisers are like, people aren't going to fast forward through these commercials.
They'll sit to watch it live.
Yo, but if Netflix throws crazy bags, speaking by the way, if you're going to throw some bread down, obviously you're going to do it with steak.
Steak is the leader in global betting and you with social casinos.
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Real quick, shows HBO might have one with the Dune Prophecy show.
Oh, you think that's good?
I've been watching it.
It's decent.
I think it's, I think it's got two things going for them.
It's not as promoted as Penguin.
Penguin, I go into Penguin and I go, I've already seen 40 Instagram posts about how it's the highest-rated episode on IMDb.
So I'm basically like, unfortunately, when my brain is wired, I'm looking to discredit.
High expectations kill it.
Exactly.
So Dune, I had nothing to watch.
And I started watching it.
And like, there's some line in the beginning.
It's like, and then women can figure out something.
I'm like, oh my God, don't do this forced identity politics bullshit.
But the story's feeling Game of Thronesy.
It's an interesting world.
They spent some money on the set design.
Like the sets look beautiful.
Like each literal world is drastically different.
Very cool.
They got good actors.
Like, I'm 3 Epson.
I couldn't get through the Penguin.
I tried.
I could, just for whatever reason, I couldn't do it.
I know I'm wrong with the Penguin.
Everybody loves it.
But this shit, I think they might got one now.
Yeah, this is good.
I think they might got one.
Bro, I just found out about True Detective.
Hunter Biden Game Of Thrones00:15:34
What the fuck is wrong with you?
First season, phenomenal.
Why did no one tell me?
This shit is amazing.
After that, you know what?
I watched the most recent one.
I liked it.
Really?
Yeah, that's good.
This took place in Alaska.
Thematically, it's a little bit different.
Oh, the lesbian, the little lesbian, lesbian actress.
Little lesbian actress.
What's her name?
Jody Foster.
Oh, she's a lesbian.
Yeah, she loves me.
She's phenomenal, bro.
She's a great actress.
She's also a great drum.
Phenomenal.
I heard the one with Mahshala Ali was good.
Oh, that was pretty good, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
First one's still undeniable.
I mean, with McConaughey and mesmerizing.
I've never seen a performance like Harrelson's.
What do you have to do?
Harrelson's fire.
Beast, dude.
I love Harrelson.
You just started watching it.
Yeah, I'm on episode two.
It's just fire.
Joe, tell me, bro.
You got JK and Joe Hood.
You know what I'm saying?
It's funny.
Mark also just found out about Derrick Henry on Thanksgiving.
I was watching football.
I go back.
I go, yo, go back to his college highlights.
We're watching college highlights of Derrick Henry.
And he's like, he's big.
I'm like, he's good, bro.
I don't know who he is.
You should look into this.
This guy's wild.
And then who's the fat quarterback?
Jared Lorenzo.
What's the show?
Yeah, Hefty Lefty.
I was showing him uniquely different sized players in the NFL.
Bro, we started on season one of the NFL.
This shit is crazy.
That's crazy.
This shit is insane.
Joe Montana?
Come on.
Anyway, let's get back to the show, boys.
Yo, shout out, shout out Joe Biden.
Real ones.
Real one.
Joe Biden.
Finally.
Finally.
First of all, a lot of people are.
Okay, let's just clarify some things.
There are people that are annoyed by this.
They're not annoyed that he did it.
I just want to point out because anybody in this situation is going to use their power to protect their son.
Correct.
Like 100% of the time.
It doesn't matter.
Did you pardon your child?
Hells?
Yes.
Hells?
Yes.
Maybe not.
I gosh, dad, but.
You think your daddy would pardon you?
That's seriously.
You think your daddy would pardon you, though?
I mean that.
That's a good question.
I think he would.
But he'd charge you like 10% of the time.
There's a cash for sure.
Yeah, he would not pardon my brother.
He would pardon me, but then he just makes sure I had like a really shitty life after or something like that.
You wouldn't accept the pardon.
Like, I'm going to stay right here.
I don't want to deal with this.
You ain't holding this over mine.
I'm getting buckfucked at this cell.
I think the thing that's annoying, obviously, is this idea that Democrats pretend that they're better than Republicans.
Yes.
Once Democrats just be like, yo, we ain't shit.
And also, don't get me wrong.
Republicans also pretend that they're better, right?
Like everybody has their own little grandstanding.
They just do it about different things.
I guess, yeah.
But, you know, Democrats are like, the Republicans won't respect the rule of law.
Yeah.
You know, he's going to destroy.
And I guess this isn't breaking the rule of law, but Hunter broke a law.
And then he's using a caveat to get him, get him out.
But I think this is the annoyance for the Democrats.
It is the hypocrisy.
Oh, hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy is a theme of the episode today, Kendrick.
So he's still, Kendrick is still a watch.
I was hearing about this Hunter Biden story.
Tune in.
There might be some Easter eggs in here.
You know, there might be some different things.
He's a Patreon.
He is a Patreon subscriber.
Anywho, so I think that's the annoying thing.
Nobody disagrees with the action.
Correct.
Or at least they shouldn't.
It's a very small amount.
What did he do even?
Pardon his son?
No.
What is Hunter?
What the hell happened?
He's like an American Egypt.
But what is he?
Like, what is hemmed, jammed up for?
Who got his in?
He didn't fill out a gun form correctly.
My God.
He lied on it.
It's America.
I think he said he'd never been convicted of a crime or something like that.
He might have forgotten he was off the drugs.
Yo.
Yo, I'm not bad about the form.
I was high as shit.
Real talk.
And I mean the sincerity.
Do you have any Zins?
In my backpack, I think I do.
Somebody.
Stabby.
Right quick.
You don't want to know?
Well, I want to know what's going on.
I'll be catching everything, bro.
Hold on.
What's that one?
3%.
Yeah, yeah.
Throw it.
Oh, my hands are crazy.
Wow.
Golden glove ones.
My hands are absolutely crazy.
Bro, your hands are insane.
Shit.
Bro, Kendrick.
These are only three milligrams.
Okay.
So, yeah, I don't know.
Your hands are crazy, but you can't open it.
I can't say shit.
They're not strong.
They're not strong at all.
But the quick, they are fat.
Is it child-proof?
Jesus.
This is crazy.
This one is strong.
This is a strong one.
Ooh, I could really smell that one.
He also didn't pay his taxes.
Who did it?
Hunter.
But then paid them back after.
I feel like you shouldn't have to pay taxes, to be honest with you.
Don't you feel like that?
Yeah, conservatives should look at this and be like, yo, this guy hates theft.
Oh, sounds like we're on Hunter Biden's team.
Yeah.
He loves guns, hates taxes.
Nah, shout out Hunter Biden.
Hunter Biden's a conservative.
He's a real conservative, dude.
That's sick.
He 100% is.
No, I mean, like, yeah.
This is just, it's the glaring hypocrisy, and you got to let Republicans run with this one and have some fun.
And you said.
Democrats, y'all got to eat this one.
You said for months we are not.
Joe Biden will not pardon Hunter.
And still say it.
That is the concern that people have, which is rules for thee and not for me.
Yes.
And that is the criticism of the Dems.
Rules for thee and not for me.
This is a glaring example of it.
Republicans, you allowed to have some fun and dance on this one as much as you want.
And Democrats, you got to eat it.
Simple as that.
I think Biden said that shit because he was going to run again.
And he's like, all right, let me say the good shit now and get in office.
And then after I'm lost, I think he had planned the entire time.
He was going to pardon him.
Of course.
That's his son.
But he's tweeting, like, oh, nobody's above the law.
Don't say that.
Just in general.
Say nobody's above the law so far.
Yo, say that shit.
Sell them a dream.
Say whatever the fuck you want, bro.
God damn.
Let's stop playing safe anymore.
Say what I'm saying.
And I would like that, dude.
Watching legacy media, like, like I was saying, the line, everybody has one line, which is, well, now that we have a convicted felon in office, all rules are all.
It's like, don't make it they're worse than us still.
Just be like, hey, who gives a fuck?
What y'all expect?
You wouldn't pardon your son?
You wouldn't lie about it.
I wish Joe came out and said that exactly.
Yeah.
What would y'all do?
Fuck, you want me to try to lose the election?
What am I supposed to do?
Tell you earlier, oh, yeah, I'm going to break the law.
It's actually not the law.
But I'm going to do anything wrong.
I'm going to bail my kid out just because I have a lot of power.
Yeah, you're not going to vote for that.
Maybe we wouldn't.
Maybe we would.
Do you think you'd pardon your son?
Of course I'm going to pardon my son.
I'm the president.
And anybody who says that.
You made him a part owner of a gas company in Ukraine.
You think I'm not going to parchendate?
And then vote.
Same thing Trump did when they actually, that is exactly what when they asked him about the taxes, he was like, Yeah, I found boot polls around paying taxes.
That's what you're supposed to do.
Fuck.
If Joe was like, hey, I'm going to pardon my son.
And if Trump says he wouldn't, he's a fucking liar.
You might be like, I like that.
I like that.
I respect that.
It's funny that he's claiming now that DOJ is like, out to get him.
Yeah, out to get him.
And I'm like, yo, that's Trump's ball, bro.
Wait, wait, who's saying that pie?
Yeah, this is a witch hunt.
They're only doing this because of what his last name is.
Get the fuck out of here.
Kind of.
And both are just stealing our shit.
We've been saying the justice system's been fucked up forever, bro.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I actually steal a lot of our shit.
What do white people steal from black people, dude?
Come on.
We've been off the vaccine.
We've been off the vaccine.
Black people knew that vaccine was fucked up so fast.
Shut up, black people.
Bro, how did you not?
Come on, son.
And now y'all late to shit.
That's even our shit.
See?
Yeah, I've really staked our shit, bro.
Son, it is so true.
Black people knew that vaccine was not to be trusted.
Why did you guys know that?
So we be knowing you can't trust the fucking government.
It literally is your.
Yo, this is ours is what we've been doing.
No, this is so funny.
The new, like, you can't trust the government, you can't trust authority, you can't trust it.
Black people have been not trusting them, rightfully so, for fucking 200 years.
Now, white people are in on it, and it's like that's a great take.
That is a great take.
Oh my God.
Now, white people are like, I think the police do some fucked up shit.
I've been like, thank you.
Thank you.
Finally.
Killed all of our leaders.
Next we're going to become Karen's.
Watch.
We don't break that shit back.
I mean, it just started.
Did you watch GNX?
Did you see the album?
Oh, no.
Bro.
Blind that trust in the government is a little racist, dude.
Talk to me about it because you have all these people who are like, dude, the government wouldn't do anything wrong.
And they're like, oh, what about Tuskegee, you know, syphilis experiments?
And they're like, oh, well, they wouldn't do it to us.
You know what I mean?
Like, they would do it to those people.
Yo, they're not going to do it to white people.
So what happened?
They gave syphilis to the pilots?
Why would they give it to the pilot?
They want to see that altitude if they would have syphilis.
Because they had the red tails down there.
So what was the experiment?
It was done by the Germans.
They had the greatest pilots that America ever had.
They didn't lose one bomber in World War II.
I'm going to say the Red Tails had the greatest flying record in American war history.
They didn't lose one bomber.
It was white racists.
They were like, I'm not flying unless them black people jump in the air with the planes on their backs and protect this plumber.
Yeah.
Jump in the air with the planes on their backs.
They're like, I don't think they can fly, but them motherfuckers can jump in the air.
No, but and then they were giving them syphilis as well.
Or there are different black people at the base that they were giving something.
There's different black people.
So hold on.
This is my body.
So Tuskegee was popping though.
There's a whole black army down.
So there's a syphilis black.
And then there were red tails.
They were not military.
These syphilis guys.
What?
Yeah, no, they were just regular.
Oh, my God.
They should have been in the military.
They would have completely avoided this.
I don't know about that.
But yeah, I think there were sharecroppers down there.
They were doing their thing and they were like, oh, we're going to do an experiment.
We're going to give you some vaccines and stuff.
That was like sharecropping still in 1942.
No, I think it was like it was like some shit like that.
Like they were, it was like some fucked up situation where they weren't, they were kind of working or something.
Yeah, yeah.
And they were like, yeah, we'll give you.
I don't know the exact thing.
Talk that shit.
How about that?
I know he's wrong.
This is a perfect example of how we were sharecroppers.
See, I told you that was still around in the 1960s.
Yeah, America's pretty raised.
So reasonable.
You can't trust America.
Come on, man.
We've been telling you that.
Nah, nah.
America's fire.
There's some bad people in it.
Yeah, it's a bad homebrew, dude.
There's a lot of migrants.
That's a lot of migrants.
It was probably the migrants that did that.
That's a bad homebrew.
But it might have been the miners that did that.
It might have been.
We're going to look into it.
We got to look into it.
Okay, but anyway, go on.
And they were like, no, we're going to give you a little vaccine.
They're like, all right, bet, sure.
And then they gave them untreated syphilis.
And they were like, damn, they die from this shit.
And that was the experiment.
I wonder if they're going to.
But the idea was that it was going to protect them.
No.
No, the idea was, let's see how long it takes for them to die.
Who okay?
It was like a Mr. Beast video.
We gave 100 people syphilis.
Hey, you know, it's crazy.
Yo, he said, who okay?
Doesn't this gotta go up the ladder?
Like, who's okay in this?
Yeah, they were the Wuhan bats of the 19th century.
This is nut.
What are you gonna tell me now?
The black people weren't paid a livable wage when they was picking all the cotton and shit.
What the fuck else are you gonna tell me now?
Yeah, right.
No, there's no crazy.
Are you saying that America has a history of racism towards people of color?
Is this what you're telling me right now?
I don't know.
Well, man.
Stop joking around about them then.
Those guys, I think we gotta stop joking around about them immediately.
Like those guys, those Tuskegee victims are the reason millions of black people didn't get the COVID vaccine.
So they protected you.
Some of them.
Yep.
There you go.
Yes, I know.
But some of them got the ability to fly, and that's how they became the airmen.
To me, it's like X-Men.
So everyone has an orphan story.
That is a pretty sick thing.
Yeah, that good can come from bad.
Good can come from bad.
You know, I mean, wow.
And if you have syphilis listening to this podcast, try a flight simulator.
You know what I mean?
Like, you might have amazing eyes.
You might have a superpower.
Just look into good, dude.
This guy's fucking good.
What was the first person of the Wright Brothers plan?
Was just a black guy with a big fucking size.
He's just jumping in there.
Sonic.
Run really fast.
Oh, man.
Yeah, bro.
This shit is wild.
I think Biden fucked up the timing of parting his kid.
Okay.
Every Thanksgiving, presidents have to pardon a turkey.
And next week, they bring out a big silver platter.
It's his son.
And he goes, all right, fine.
I guess I have a son.
I guess I have.
Dude, last, I think it was last Thanksgiving, they pardoned this turkey, but we thought it was Mark's grandma's vagina.
What are you even doing right now?
Can we blur that out?
Can we blur that?
I mean, it's like, is there nothing sacred, dude?
She's my actual grandmother.
A major of my family, dude.
What the fuck?
She's an American hero, man.
She's an American hero.
She got an hero.
God damn.
Gotta respect the bets.
She actually met one of the Tuskegee years.
Oh, she sure did.
I'm sorry.
Damn.
Why you made that so sexual?
Shout out the Red Tails, though.
I don't think that we talk about them enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do y'all even know three Red Tails?
Y'all can't even name three.
You thought that was similar until 10 minutes ago.
Lawrence Fishburne.
Michael B. Jordan.
JB Vance.
Can y'all name three real red tails?
No, the guy from anyway.
Nobody can.
No, I can't.
Like real, real ones?
I can't even name Red Tail.
It is a real shame that that.
But we can't name three.
They got a couple movies.
They did get a couple movies.
And they didn't lose a single bomber.
No.
They flew the P51 Mustang.
Yes, they did.
But not at first.
What were they flying at first?
Something else?
What is it?
Die Cult version of Fighter Park.
Oh, they didn't give them the good shit.
No, they didn't give him the good shit.
Then they gave him the good shit.
The P51 Mustang.
Like they knew it was.
They gave us the chitlinger that we turned that shit fly.
So that's it.
That's true.
You guys are pretty resilient.
We're good.
Yeah.
Wow. We're good. Wow.
Miles, it feels like you want to contribute something.
Miles is chomping at the bit.
Tell us a fact about that.
Technically, they lost six bombers.
Mark just slid in a hell of a joke.
Cracker Screams N Word00:02:05
What did you say?
What did I say?
I'm not.
Come on.
Is it an Easter egg?
It sounds on me.
It's an Easter egg.
It's an Easter egg.
It's a good Easter egg.
Come on.
Son, it's not a Kendrick concert.
He's not saying an N-word on stage.
Yo, facts.
So all the women he could have brought on stage.
Yeah.
A beautiful black woman he could have given that opportunity to.
And no.
What did he do?
Brought up a cracker.
Brought up a cracker to just scream the N-word on stage.
That was offensive.
A crackress.
That's fucked up.
Oh, my God.
I feel like I can't even say that.
That's crazy.
Crackers?
Yeah, that might be.
You think that's too hateful?
That might be your shit.
Well, that's all Kendrick is doing, bringing crackresses up on stage to scream the N-word at his shows.
And he wonders why so many white people show up.
It's like a lot of them.
That's the moment.
Wow.
You should be like, damn, this is not the Trump rally.
What happened?
All right, man.
Look at these heroes.
Shout out to them.
Shout out to them, man.
Let's get a couple names because we got to commit this to memory.
Let me get some.
While you're doing that, oh, we got Lee Archer, Lee Archer, Eugene Calvin Chatham, Benjamin Davis Jr., Gene Derrick.
Okay, okay.
We got it.
Somebody, that's what we're going to.
You give us too many.
We're not going to remember.
Bro, some of them have sick nicknames and some of them have really shitty nicknames.
Okay, give us the sickest nickname.
All right.
So some of them are like Captain Martin Easy Julian.
Sith.
First Lieutenant Joe Lightning Little.
Ray Raygun Gannon.
Like, those are all sick.
Fire.
That's fire.
This guy's name is Flight Officer Maurice Bumps Wilson.
Hey, yo, he was part of that symbolistic tour.
He might have been in both.
First Sergeant Coffee Coleman.
Like some of these suck.
Oh, coffee.
I think coffee is kind of cool.
All right.
One was Bag of Bones.
What else we got?
Prequel To The Wiz00:08:28
That's crazy.
Mark's grandma was just stopped.
Stop doing that.
Can we edit that out?
Nah, she wasn't World War II.
She was Battle of the Bulge.
Hey, I have a family that are war heroes.
I think World War II, by the way.
You know the guy that puts the flag up of Iwo Jima?
That guy fucks your grandma?
No.
His last name is Daniel.
No way.
I thought he put that thing in your grandma first.
But wait.
You mean the fake time?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
The fake one.
The real fake time.
The real one, bro.
They fake it.
They didn't fake it.
There's a whole movie about the fake time.
They fake it.
Oh, you're going to believe every movie, bro?
Come on.
Can we talk about wicked for one moment?
That shit is so fire, dude.
Can we talk about wicked for one?
You're going to be popular.
You're going to be good at the turn.
Fell asleep 15 minutes in.
Can I tell you something?
The first hour is trash.
Okay, that's what horrible.
I'm sitting there with my wife.
I'm sitting there with her gay bestie.
And I'm sitting there with one other friend of hers.
Horrible for the first hour.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I get myself roped into.
They do the scene where, like, what's her name?
Ariana Grande's, like, finally ends up, like, trying to not be a shitty friend to this girl and actually protecting her and feeling bad that she was, you know, kind of pranking her.
I didn't stop crying for next year.
Really?
I didn't stop crying for next week.
All right, I'll give it another chance.
Ariana Grande's and this girl.
Cynthia Arrivo are absolutely, and I went in there going, this is going to be ass.
Why am I watching this dumbass shit?
They are sensational.
Dude, Ariana Grande?
Impossible.
I expected the other girl to be absolutely phenomenal because she's like a trained Broadway actress.
Like she's, she's, you know, probably one of the best if you're a Broadway actress and you get this opportunity.
So and she blew me away.
Yeah.
But this Ariana Grande, my expectation was lower because I'm like, okay, she's a very talented singer and like pop girl, but can she pull off the comedy?
Yeah.
She's her whole role is funny.
And she murdered him.
Kills it.
Okay.
Murders.
Together.
Like, bro, fantastic.
I couldn't.
It was.
I cried for two hours.
Two hours straight.
That's so many tears.
That's so many tears.
It's a long ass movie.
It is too hard.
It's three hours.
And it's only part one.
I said, God damn.
It is too long.
It's 20 minutes too long.
God, but Ariana.
So she's like, I've seen little clips.
She's like dreamed of this role.
She dreamed of the other role, actually.
Oh, she dreamed of being in this play.
She wanted to play Alphabet.
Yeah.
And then she ends up playing Glenn.
But like, she was so excited to be a part of it.
I guess she probably, I think she's like a theater kid at the end of the day.
They all, yeah, like.
She started on Broadway.
So she was like, this is the dream play to be in.
Like, she would get emotional talking about it before the wicked movie was even announced.
Like the idea of playing.
You root for people to do well on those roles, but a lot of times they kind of just do it.
She also fucking knocks it out.
Director Fire.
John Chu.
John Chu.
Right?
He directed Parasite.
I think he directed the...
Oh, I didn't know that.
He also did the, what's it called?
The thing that Mr. Beast copied.
What was it called?
Squid Games.
Squid Games.
Wait, no, but I don't think that's.
No, there's another.
Wait, another guy.
Oh, that's true.
See, he directed Crazy Rotations.
He also did that one.
He did G.I. Joe.
He did G.I. Joe.
He did in the streets.
He also did that in the hiking.
He's got stupid.
But no, he just happens to be Asian.
Wait, what?
No, no, no.
I'm pretty sure he's the same guy.
So He's a tek window professor.
No, but in all seriousness, the guy that directed, I thought this is something that I thought he did really well.
This is based on a play or like a musical, right?
He shoots it, and there's a lot of like dancing choreography that feel like a musical, but it's clearly a film.
Yeah.
Right.
I don't know if I'm describing this right, but he could shoot it just as a film, and there is no musical aspect where like the whole town kind of jumps into dance and story and they all kind of connect together.
You know what I'm saying?
Like you could just take the narrative seriously and run with that.
But he incorporates what you would imagine the play is, I thought, very well, without it being too forced.
Yeah.
So I thought that that was a really and like kind of cool camera stuff.
Like he almost feels like everything is on a drone.
Did you watch it?
No, yeah.
The cameras are, I need to like see the rigging for it because the cameras are moving through the world and moving through all the people dancing.
So I don't know if they're on like a like a kind of train track set type of thing.
What's that?
A diet surface from the from the ceiling.
It could be a cable cam.
It could be that.
It could be an FPV.
It's cool.
He did In the Heights, which is used to do this.
He came from, he did, after Step Up, he did like Bieber's Never Say Never, his big music.
I think he directed Ronnie Chang's special.
I think he did Ali Wong's special also.
Oh, wow.
I didn't see that at all.
He did Ali Wong's special.
There's a Hello Kitty campaign.
He did do Ken Jong's You Complete Me Ho.
He did that one.
That is true.
Yeah, And he also did Ty Cave Rescue as an example.
Everybody has to start somewhere.
You got to start somewhere, man.
That is actually true.
Wow.
I think also, though, we didn't understand how big this play was when it came out.
God damn.
I watched it like a year ago.
I went in with super low expectations.
You watched it live?
I watched the Broadway play.
It was like a date night.
And let me tell you something.
The play is fine.
The play is fantastic.
You've seen the play twice.
Incredible.
Yo, absolutely.
God action is incredible.
I was like, fuck.
I wasn't thinking it's going to be whack.
I'm doing this for my wife.
And I was like, this is the best.
It's incredible.
Love me some bro.
It's a musical on that.
Yeah, all right.
Go on, go on.
I saw Hamilton.
I saw Book of Mormon.
I saw Wicked.
I had the lowest expectations for Wicked, but I thought it was the best one of the three.
Those are the three plays I've seen.
Nah, Hamilton, better buy.
Do you guys want to say what the storyline is?
It's kind of like they created a prequel to The Wizard of Oz, and it's about how the witch becomes the Wicked Witch or whatever.
And they basically, I'm curious how they got the rights to do this.
Apparently there was a lot of fan fiction written about this, but then someone wrote a book.
But like, this completely changes The Wizard of Oz.
So if I'm the person who wrote The Wizard of Oz, I'm not going to let a motherfucker write another movie that is before that completely changes the entire meaning of my life's greatest work.
Rewrite the Bible and you're like, Satan's misunderstood.
You're like, what changes the Bible?
Yeah, wrote a sequel to the Bible.
That shit goes way harder.
Sequel?
Sequel exists based on the information that you laid down.
The book is public domain.
Ah, that's why, because it was so many.
It was like 100 years ago or whatever.
1900.
And then Gregory Maguire wrote the book Wicked and then he could do our own presentation.
We could do our own fan fiction of the book.
We could make another version of Wicked.
Wicked.
Yeah.
Sort of.
Wait, what do you mean?
It's not public domain.
Fuck.
No, no, no.
We could do a prequel.
Another Wizard of Oz.
Yeah.
Like another prequel.
Instead of wicked, it's just a little different.
It's about Mark's grandma.
It's called Dickens.
She was just misunderstood.
I want to misunderstood.
She was a war.
Exactly.
She was not riding a broomstick in this one.
All right.
So that was fire.
They're giving another.
I saw a gladiator too.
Oh, you saw that?
Yeah.
I saw Wicked twice.
What?
My wife wanted to go a second time.
My nephew wanted to go.
Wow.
Now that's getting six hours ago.
It was still fired.
It was still fire.
Six hours ago.
I didn't want to go.
Second time was still.
Friday Saturday Filming Chaos00:07:02
I was like, this is still good.
Wow.
Yeah.
Twice to play, twice in the movie.
Nah, once to play.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
Between us.
Have you seen The Wiz?
No, I haven't.
Oh, that's.
Wow.
Come on, bro.
That's the Tuskegee interview.
Wizard of Oz.
We got to do a prequel of The Wiz.
Let's do The Wicked of the Wiz, dude.
Oh, The Wick.
That was fire.
What is The Wiz?
Is it different than The Wizard of Oz, or is this Black Wizard of Oz?
Blizzard?
I know that we mentioned earlier, but I just want to say thank you so much, everybody.
Came out this past weekend for the special taping.
Thank you so much, everybody who worked on this special, not only just this weekend, but like developing, putting this show together, like making my kind of vision and dreams come true.
And that is Dove, that is Mark.
That is Cheryl and Rob.
That is Vala.
Beautiful videos you put together.
Shifty.
I just thank you guys.
And the million, my wife and my daughter, and who play the integral roles.
And if you guys have seen the life tour, you know.
So yeah, I just want to say thank you guys so much.
And it was just an awesome experience to see all those people out there, man.
Say again.
Oh, Derek Poston, of course.
Oh, my God.
But so, yeah, and tons of other people I'm just not even thinking about right now.
So thank you guys so much for being there.
And it was, it was really cool, especially with everything that happened with the venue and like the city just still coming out and supporting me on Thanksgiving weekend.
And that just felt great.
And yeah, it just felt really cool.
Now is the hard part.
Now we got to get into the edit.
Obviously.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But and just filming a special is just so interesting, like of this size.
You know, we've only done things that we've done ourselves before.
And this is the first time where we're like, okay, we're stepping it up.
So in order to step it up, you have to hire companies.
Why do you have to hire companies?
Because there's all this minutia that we don't worry about when we're filming a show together.
We're throwing up some cameras.
We're like, all right, we're going to go and edit together.
When you're doing something of this size, it's like, okay, we need to make sure we have releases for everybody that could be on camera.
We need to make sure that we have the union signatory signed off and the scheduling and time sheet.
So you basically are hiring out these different companies.
And I thought an interesting thing that happens when you're filming it is you have to be super diligent about what you want and your vision because each department that is working on it, the interests aren't exactly aligned.
Obviously, everybody wants there to be a great special, right?
And we have like, for example, we have the best audio guy in the business, Thomas Cassetta, is the best audio guy in the business, hands down.
It's not even close.
And Thomas is telling me certain things that will protect his audio for me.
He wants me to have the cleanest audio.
He's like, if we mic you too much, then you could be higher mics than the crowd.
And we want to make sure that that mix sounds good.
But if we mic me too little, then I won't have enough control of the crowd, you know?
So he's trying to protect the best version of his audio.
Thank God we have someone who understands what we want as well.
But I can imagine someone who doesn't know stand-up, who's just recording a special is going, oh no, we got to keep the mic down because it's going to fuck up my audio.
Not realizing what the crowd needs.
The crowd needs you to fucking hit them in the chest.
Same with video.
Video wants it to look beautiful.
You know, one thing I think that a lot of times people make mistakes for in a special, they'll do what's called a line cut.
I don't know if this makes any sense, but essentially they're doing a live edit of the special.
Trying to edit stand-up live is like catching a fart with chopsticks.
It's not even possible.
Like, because you would have to be so fluent in the comedian's material and timing in order to build tension, build tension, then release it.
With comedy, it's not like music where you can just cut through a bunch of different angles and make it look epic.
When you do that, you distract.
It's kind of like horror where you got to like build, push in, push in, build, build, and punchline, release.
If you don't know exactly when I'm going to release, you're fucked.
So it's like, but in their mind, they're like, okay, let me make this shot look really cool.
Let me make it look so beautiful so I can offer value to this project.
Everybody wants to offer value, but sometimes they're offering value isn't what's going to be best for the project.
So you need to go in.
Thank God I have the fucking ride or die best team on the fucking planet who are like, this is what we need.
And we need you guys to understand this is what's going to make the project the best.
And just articulating that and really fucking dialing it in.
It's just an interesting thing.
I think that like, especially comedians that they're listening to should be really, you should be really connected to your project.
Don't just go out there and film it and think it's going to be okay because it won't.
Because most people don't understand stand-up.
Even if they've done specials, they just don't understand what makes it good.
And I think you get into these situations where you're with these people who have done tons of specials.
And at first, there's like a little bit of, you're a little deferential to them.
And then we kind of had a moment where just like, hold on, hold on.
Yeah, we posted things on YouTube and Instagram, but we saw that Madison Square Garden twice selling, posting things on YouTube and Instagram.
We clearly know what we're doing.
I don't know if there's anybody else who sold out the garden without having a network special.
So it's like, I'm not going to belittle what we did because the platform was YouTube.
Clearly, we know what we're doing.
And it was cool to have that team together where we're like, this is what we want.
We're all down.
All right.
Guys, I know you think you guys know what you want.
This is what we need.
Trust us.
And it was even cool to go from Friday to Saturday.
Like we made our adjustments from Friday to Saturday and just to see it become our show by Saturday.
It was special.
You just introduced so many other creatives.
You know what I mean?
Like in Stuart Shows on the Road, it's just like you are the single creative vision if you're a comic doing that.
But then as soon as you're filming, it's like, okay, we're introducing like wardrobe creative and that might be different than how it normally is.
And then the visual creative, the sound creative.
There's tons of other creative that get brought in and they are all fighting for their personal agenda to be fulfilled.
And they're all also talented in their own right and successful.
And I like to look at them thinking altruistically, they want it to be the best and they trust their talent to make it the best.
So it's managing that, hey, I know that you think that this is what's best for it.
We think this is what's best for it and let me dial my sword.
Because there's one thing I cannot live with.
It's your decision being wrong.
I can live with mine.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But I'm not going to live with yours when I told you I want something else.
Yeah.
You know?
And I just thought it was so fun.
Like there's this great moment like Friday and even going into Saturday where just like our internal team, like our fucking people, everybody was just on the same page.
It was just like, this is what needs to be done.
Managing Talent Altruistically00:10:04
And you were there Friday and you were there Saturday.
And I saw the difference.
And it was like, everybody just stepped up.
Voices got loud.
Everybody got stern.
And I think everybody started to realize like, oh, these aren't like a ragtag group.
Like they know what the fuck they want.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was just, I felt really grateful.
I'll stop talking about it, but I felt very grateful to have all you guys there to back up that vision.
And it gave me a lot of confidence.
And yeah, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you so much.
That's the thing you've empowered your team throughout.
I mean, I trust you guys implicitly.
I was just like, I was like, yo, Shifty, Mark, get what you need.
And then they got what they needed, bro.
It was just.
All of it looked beautiful, but I'm, you know, confirming what you're saying.
But no, it was, it was exciting.
It looked, it looked great.
Shit on the cameras, dad.
It's going to be a fun edit.
You know what's so funny?
I went to the video village.
I was like, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It was like, there's command center in NASA.
And you know what's interesting is they have these things called RoboCams, right?
I saw the fire.
So it's, this is fascinating.
Robo, RoboCams, like automatic cameras, we've like seen them on the road in certain venues.
They just kind of like look and move like a security cam footage.
This was the newest version of these robo cams.
We only had two up.
I don't know if I'm ever going to film a special without robo cams again.
They're a little cylinder.
They could be anywhere in the room.
And you don't even notice what they are, but the movement now digitally, it's like it is the push-ins are better than somebody racking focus and pushing it.
The movement on them, and now you don't have 14 different people.
Not only do they move, not only move up and down, they're pushing, like they're moving on different axes, only taking up a fraction of the space.
I saw one on the side of the stage is going up and down.
I was like, ooh, movement for those?
Like you said, three acts at the same time, just like what is it called?
The acronym is like P something, T Camera, PTZ.
P Tel Zoom.
And not just like the high-end version of them.
It was funny.
I was looking into that for the studio.
I was like, oof, you don't even have to be in the room for editing them.
Expensive.
No, they're really expensive.
But prices will come down.
That eventually happens.
But a perfect example is like, I told them, this is my note always when we're going to do like a live show.
I even tell Shifty, I go, nobody should see a camera.
If people see a camera, they get nervous.
They're like afraid to just react.
They're just thinking about themselves.
And the best comedy show is people get to leave themselves.
And the first show, all of a sudden, I'm up there and there's this camera almost called a gimbal, meaning it basically, you guys know this, but I'm just describing people at home.
Like it balances the camera perfectly so someone could walk with it.
So he's not holding it on his shoulder.
It's this mechanism that perfectly balances it.
He starts walking down the aisle.
I think he's going to get one shot and then leave.
He's walking down the aisle for like 15 minutes.
I just stopped the show and I go, you need to get the fuck out of here.
So fire.
Right?
Because then you went right back into it and got a laugh immediately.
I love it.
Yeah, that was hard.
But it's like have the crowd on a yo-yo like that is fucking weird.
I mean, yo, shout out the crowd.
But like, also, it's like, to me, I'm going, you're making me feel fake.
If I don't acknowledge that camera, it's like a girl with huge tits walking down the aisle.
I can't say something about that.
Right.
Did you get up here immediately?
Yeah, you say exactly.
But, but it, so it's just one of those things where it's like, and this is like the video team was pitching me all these cameras that would like come backstage and point out backstage.
I go, guys, the second the audience sees a camera stick out backstage, they're going to be petrified.
Yeah.
Now, would it look cool?
Sure.
Has anything been funnier because it looked cool in the history of comedy?
No.
You know what's funny?
Chris Rock's bigger and blacker when the cameras are literally shaking.
Yeah, because they're on sticks and the ground is moving.
Yeah, like that to me, the grittiness of that is just beautiful.
I go, guys, I don't want anybody to see a camera.
Capture the fucking show.
Make them believe it's just a regular show.
You know, and I think that is like the number one most important thing.
Yeah.
The most important thing you can do is make it look like this is just a regular show.
Honestly, I wouldn't have even announced Netflix taping if we didn't have all the issues with the venue and all that other stuff.
I was just like, hey, we're just, here's some shows.
Come on out.
But because you want to capture that kind of authenticity.
And I hate being a fake on stage.
Yeah.
And having cameras walk in and me not see them or something popping behind me makes me feel like I'm fake to you.
Because you know that you see it.
I know I see it, but we're both pretending it's not there.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Just cool things to learn.
And maybe if anybody's watching that's into comedy or producing comedy, they could take something from it.
Yeah.
That's fire.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there.
Stop, stop.
You keep apologizing, bro.
Come on.
Dude, I asked my mom, who loves you, by the way.
She reached out, by the way, and she said, congratulations.
She loves you.
I told her I love her.
I said, I can leave a day early.
Andrew's taping is special.
And then she goes, stay an extra day.
I don't spend enough time with you.
And I was like, all right, well, fuck.
I'm here.
I'm here.
But I saw it at MSG.
It was, and you know, I'm a huge, anybody, everybody knows I'm a huge fan of you.
It was your best work by a mile.
And that is like, it was, it was awesome.
It was so fucking awesome.
And I heard it's gotten even better.
And I'm so excited to see it.
And obviously, the team, you guys all fucking kill it.
I'm so excited to see it.
I'm excited for people.
Do you know when people can see it?
Or do you even want to float that?
Are we keeping that?
We have a date that we're kind of locking in, but I want to, you know, get through that.
Yeah, don't announce it.
The fucking worst thing you can do.
Yeah.
Black History Month.
No, but yeah, I think it will be, I think it'll be really fun.
I'm just very grateful for the team and very grateful to everybody who came out.
And, you know, there's this feeling that there are people there who've probably been at my first fucking show I did at Gotham Craig.
Yeah.
They were at that.
And there's a feeling like so much in comedy, the beginning years, are you winning over people who are skeptical of you?
You're doing a bar show and they're like, how did I even end up here?
Yeah.
And this is people going, hey, I've been fucking with you for years.
I want you to fucking rock this tonight.
And that is an awesome feeling that I hope all of you guys get and other comics get too.
That is pretty cool.
Yeah.
That's far.
Anyway, thanks.
Thank you.
So thank you so much.
Thanks.
Thanksgiving.
Tell me.
Oh, best Thanksgiving I've had in a decade.
My wife and I went home and it was going to be a little comfortable because I haven't really talked to my dad in like nine months.
Wow.
Yeah.
I talked to my mom about that.
My wife is like, just the whole vibe is different.
You've been so happy recently.
You've been sleeping better.
I've been dude hilarious.
I mean, you've never sold more tickets.
It's been fucking really unbelievable.
So I tell my mom, I voice these concerns, and my mom, my mom goes to my dad apparently and goes, all right, here's the options.
You either apologize to your sons for everything you've done or you're not here for Thanksgiving.
Oh, shit.
My dad bought a ticket to India.
No.
It wasn't there.
It was all.
It was awesome.
We had such a happy time, dude.
My mom moved into a new house.
I'm blessed enough, thank you, God, to be able to take care of the mortgage on it.
She took care of a big down payment, but like, but she's like built this house with us in mind.
She's like, I want you guys to come here whenever.
So she got to do Thanksgiving at her at the new house.
Well, we go somewhere else for Thanksgiving every year, but like we were there and her house that she, you know, we lost, she lost her house like 20 years ago or whatever.
So this is like, she's a home finally.
And the upstairs is just about like, this is for my kids and whatever.
If you guys come visit, we say downstairs the whole time.
We're having so much fun.
My mom can't really walk upstairs.
We didn't leave.
We're like, this is the best vibe in the world.
This is awesome.
Did you guys stay with her?
Yeah, we stayed with her.
Yeah, how was everything with your mom and uh and Jocelyn?
Oh, they're great, dude.
They're great.
Everybody's getting along well.
My mom was so thankful.
She even like she said some crazy shit to my wife before she apologized to it and was like, I'm like a sincere, I understand what I did.
And that was like, I was out of line.
I'm never going to do that thing again.
It was like a really, it was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had in my life, dude.
It was awesome.
Real addition by subtraction kind of thing.
I mean, that sounds phenomenal.
It was awesome.
I was so sad to leave.
And my mom is still fucking crying about it.
I got to go home or I got to spend like weeks there or something.
But how can you do that?
How can you build that in?
Yeah, I think if we have a week where we're not doing the pod, just fly home.
And then we, if I got work to do or whatever, I just do it remotely.
Like any stand-up work, I'll fly out to the show from there or whatever.
But yeah, we just got to figure this out.
And my wife is more on board now.
She's like, yeah, it's better.
Just, you know, if we just get him a hotel or something, we're good.
You know, it was a night and day difference.
I can't even explain it.
Bro, shout out your mom.
Yeah, no, that's all real.
That is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's fire.
Do you think she was surprised by him being like, well, I'm going to go?
No.
Oh, no.
She wasn't.
None of us were surprised.
I just laughed when I pulled back and I was like, that's so funny.
Because he was gone.
He's going for like a month.
And I was like, wow, that's a long time to go.
Yeah.
An apology is free.
A month in India is probably a couple thousand dollars or something.
And normally I pay for the ticket.
This time I'm not paying for a fucking ticket.
But he was like, I got it.
You're paying for it.
You're paying for it.
Their money's coming back.
All right.
So it was a good time.
It was enjoying.
It was awesome, dude.
It was the best.
I was so happy.
Like, truly, the best week home in a long time.
That makes me happy.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's wild.
I mean, special stuff was awesome.
And then just like first Thanksgiving with the little baby was yeah.
Derek Opens Special Alone00:04:25
So what did you guys do?
What was your Thanksgiving?
We just snuggled up with the baby literally just like rainy outside and I just like took him for a walk.
At least he made some turkey.
We're talking about your son?
You're talking about Miles?
Both actually.
Miles came over.
I'm the first one.
Yeah, they both came.
Me and Miles go for so many walks now because I take a little baby for walks.
So I'm like, I just like, hey, I'm going to go out for two hours.
Let's call it Miles and we just go for a little bit.
Wait, does he also use your baby to pick up chicks?
Because we did that with my dog.
Exactly.
Miles.
Who was that girl that you brought to the special taping?
Just a friend.
No.
Oh, the one you left early with?
Yeah, just a friend.
Oh, he left from the party kind of early.
Yeah, he did leave kind of early.
I was like, young was funny.
He was the highlight of the Thanksgiving.
Party time.
I was like, Miles, why are you leaving so soon?
I'm so thankful that my best friend lives down the street.
Yeah, me over.
I got to cook a little bit.
Anybody have a picture?
I think we snapped some photos.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I would love to see.
Yeah, we'll get it up.
So you're just a friend have you guys made out in the past.
But now you don't?
It's been pasta.
That's not good.
Wait, wait, now you don't make out anymore?
No.
Why is that?
You think?
We just don't.
We sort of made a decision not to.
Whose fault do you think it was?
Mine.
Hey, let me help you out.
Yo, dub, I saw you with two chicks too.
I saw you with the fucking 10.
I saw you doing like, what's it called?
Juggling and shit like that.
I tried.
know.
I tried.
Wow.
But yeah, you did that.
I know it's a hard word.
Juggling.
Miles.
Bro, it was so funny.
Every person would come by and be like, yo, Miles, who the fuck is that over there?
So who went?
Who went?
Yeah.
What was happening?
What was happening?
It was two of them, dude.
They were both in my row.
He was like going to speak to one and then he had to go around and speak to the other.
Absolutely.
Can I tell you guys?
Fucking sisters?
No.
Damn.
You're a really bad guy.
Can I tell you guys a funny Derek Poson story?
So, Derek Poston, shout out, Derek.
We love Derek, motherfucking goat.
Uh, Derek is uh, Derek.
Uh, we're at the special, right?
And um, Matt Damon came to the special.
I know that sounds like I'm like doing like a brag thing, whatever, like that, but yes, and uh, so he came to the special.
Now, Derek is the biggest movie buff fan, like he's not even a movie fan, he's like a movie aficionado.
Like, yeah, in the way that people like cars and the way that people like love wine, he loves film, like he is in entrenched in it, he loves it.
And uh, after the show, I was like, Hey, let's go down.
You know, you say hi to Matt or whatever, like that, right?
They're in a room, we go in, and uh, Derek walks in the room and then stands next to Matt, right?
And then, out of nowhere, paparazzi flashes start going, they are blasting.
I mean, like, Matt's like dazed, like it's just he has no clue, boom, boom.
And in every picture, Derek's just like laughing and thumbing it up.
No, go to Derek's Instagram right now.
I had to tell them, I had to tell the photographer.
I go, Okay, guys, I think we got it.
Afterward, Derek goes, He goes, Schultz, I'm sorry, man.
I had to get a pic with the Martian.
I'm looking at him.
Oh, no, no, I got Diddy Crop.
He's like, Yo, in case you guys didn't see the first four, I'm gonna shoot you.
That's so funny.
It's brilliant.
Go to the caption.
Go to the captain.
Me, Andrew, Schultz, Matt Damon.
Two, me, Schultz, and the Martian.
Three, me, and Goodwill Hunted.
Like, he just keeps naming them.
Me, Hezzy, and we bought a zoo.
Nah, it was just so cool.
We bought a zoo.
It's funny.
It was just so, yo, Matt's funny.
I almost want Derek to tell the story, but like, uh, before the show starts, either Dove or Derek goes up to Matt.
They go, Hey, man, you want to do a few minutes?
And Matt goes, No, no, no, I'm good.
You said that.
No, no, no, I'm good.
And then Matt goes to Derek, you going up?
And Derek goes, Yeah, he goes, I will.
And Matt goes, I will be silently judging you.
Matt Damon Names Movies00:02:41
And then just walks away.
Derek's hero.
So Derek got to go open the special.
What was he serious?
He was dope.
That was great.
It was very cool.
Thank you.
A lot of people came out, showed love, man.
Just all the family, all the boys.
Like, yeah, it was really great.
Great, great weekends, man.
Great.
Yo, how was your first Thanksgiving with Shiloh?
Because it's also the day before you film your special.
Yeah.
So that was the thing.
It was like day before the film special.
And, you know, you're on baby duty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, this is the greatest thing.
Is like so Thanksgiving, Shiloh starts teething.
Oh, wow.
I don't know if you've experienced teething with a baby.
It was a really difficult thing.
They've never experienced this pain and this consistent pain for a while.
So they just don't really know what's going on.
They're like a little cranky.
Eating is hard.
Sleeping is hard.
Everything's just difficult.
And we went and we had Thanksgiving at this restaurant, Teresi, and it was just amazing.
And we didn't want to do it in the house because I'll be honest, I was like, it's going to be a whole day long thing.
And I might need to prep.
And I don't want to leave you alone.
Like, it was just so.
Let's just go do a restaurant.
We, and it was awesome.
It was great.
Came back and Shiloh starts crying.
And we put her down.
She wakes back up, starts crying.
Put her down, wakes back up, starts crying.
And it's like 11, starts crying, 12.
And Emma is a trooper.
She's in there.
She's locked in.
She's trying to, at like maybe 12 or 1 or something, she comes in and she goes, Hey, she just, I, I, what do you think we should do?
She's not telling me to do anything.
She knows it's the big day tomorrow.
I'm like, all right, let me see if I could, let me see if I could just get her down.
She's like, no, no, I know that you got to do a thing.
I was like, let me see if I gear down.
And I go in there and I start trying to.
And she's every time she's crying so much that she starts to like hyperventilate a little bit.
So even when she gets ready to go to sleep, she'll be about to pass out and then just go because she's still catching her breath.
Right.
And it was one of these moments where it was like a really cool reminder where it's like, they don't care about any of that stuff.
Yeah.
Your special doesn't matter.
What you do in your career doesn't matter.
That's not important to them at all.
The only thing that matters is you're there for them.
And it was like a cool moment, like a cool dad moment where it was like, am I really going to go do this special about how much I want to have a baby and all the trials and tribulations that it took for us to get this baby and then abandon my baby the night before?
Bonding Through Insecurity00:16:00
You know, I make things bigger than they actually are.
It's just my kid's teething and this just happened to be the night before the special.
But in my head, I was like, this is one of those moments where you decide what's more important.
Is it more important that I get a little more sleep so that I'm rested?
Or is it more important that I'm like there for the baby?
And so I just gave Emma the baby.
So I fucking got her down.
And it was like, and she woke up a few hours later and Emma, you know, you know, took care of it.
But it was a cool like reminder that none of this stuff matters to them.
Yeah.
And we got to be aware of that 100%.
Yeah.
That they're the most important thing and everything else is no longer priority, no matter how fucking big it is.
And I'm very, I am grateful that that even presented itself on a night of that importance.
And I made the, what I think was the right decision, which is fucking lock-in.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, it's cool.
Yeah, it was cool.
Shout out to Shelton.
I had a little funny story from Thanksgiving.
So Thanksgiving, I did it with my dad.
And then on the weekend, I did it with my mom.
But on Thursday, so I go to my dad's place, you know, catching him up on the air, just like, hey, you know, studios are going well, all this stuff.
He's super proud of me.
And I'm like, let me get the good stuff out now.
And so I come, I show him the Cyber Trust.
He's like blown away.
He's like, this is from the future, all this good stuff.
And then I sit him down as I'm looking at Obama here and Martin Luther King picture here.
And then I'm like, Dad, I did an episode with Trump.
Bro, he almost kicked me out of Thanksgiving.
No way.
He was pissed.
He was like laughing about it, but yeah, he wasn't bad.
Really funny.
I knew I had to get the good stuff out first.
But that's fine that you guys are, you guys, your relationship is good and building.
No, we are good.
It's just like, I'd be busy.
He'd be busy for sure.
We all are.
But he pardoned you.
Yeah, he did.
Did he have any questions about it?
Was yeah, he was just like, how is he in person?
And I'm like, you know, he's how you used to think about him years ago.
Interesting.
Just that guy.
He's a New Yorker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is, it must be crazy for a parents to see these things.
Yeah.
Like to see us sit down with a president.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I'm like, I'm trying to wrap my head around that.
Like, one of my cousins goes, that was real.
I was like, you think I made that up?
I'm a fucking loser.
Do you think I am?
But that is like, you want your kid to do well.
You want your kid to succeed.
You have all these hopes and you want them to have friends.
You have all these things.
And then they interview the president of the United States of America.
Yeah.
Like there's got to be a little moment of like extreme pride, regardless of the politics.
You're like, whoa, like, I made that thing.
They're talking to the president.
Yeah.
Driving a fucking future car.
Like, it's crazy.
Yeah.
Oh, that's wild.
Yeah, it was cool.
Yeah.
I'm even thinking about that with my kid.
I'm like, thinking about the fact that he's going to do things in life blows my mind.
Like it's like hard to like wrap my head like you have a job because you just see him as such a baby right now.
Yeah, it's like you're gonna do stuff like you're gonna like impress me.
It's just like it's hard to like because like he's already doing it on little scale, but like as like that adult human, he's gonna do stuff, which is crazy.
Do you ever think about like when they'll know how much you love them?
I always think about like, I don't know when I realized how much my parents love me, how old I was.
Yeah.
I never was like, they don't.
I met my mom a couple times.
But like as an adult, I go, what?
Jamil said something to me.
He was like, he's like, did you never notice that your dad was the only guy that came to our basketball games?
And I never, I was so used to him showing up.
You don't notice it till you're out of it.
You know what I mean?
Like a fish doesn't notice water.
You're just surrounded by it.
And when you see other parents that don't do it for their kids or whatever, you see your friends and you're like, oh, that's different.
I didn't know that existed.
But that was a thought I had.
I was like, I hope you never notice it.
Yeah.
Like, I hope you just think this is what it is.
It's funny.
The better you are at your job, the less they're going to notice.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's like.
The more consistent you are, the less you notice.
Especially for dads.
For moms, I think you know.
Like everybody talks about moms all the time.
For dads, it's almost like your job is supposed to be thankless.
You're not supposed to get any credit.
That's the sacrifice you make.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's yeah, I don't know.
The whole kind of kids is just awesome.
It's like, it's awesome to see her, like she'll like, you know, fall or hurt or something like that.
And then like just reach for her mom.
Yeah.
And it's, I think it's nice for Emma to see because it's so often she does all this work.
She breastfeed the baby.
She's up with it.
And then I come in and the baby's just like, you're funny.
Let's party.
Yeah.
And I think there's a part of Emma's like, what?
How the fuck she loved?
She's saying dad and all this other stuff.
But when she hurts herself, it's like, where's that woman that always makes me feel good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's all these tiny little rewarding things.
Yeah.
No, I think it's awesome.
I think it's awesome.
And I think it's even like just that story of like right before the special, like sacrificing for your kids.
Like I think it's just like a good reminder.
I think sacrificing is like fundamental.
Like I think about suffering for like things you love, I think is like intrinsic to loving them.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, like, I think it's harder to love things without suffering for them.
Like, I think we so often get caught up in this idea of like, we need to mitigate suffering at all costs.
I think it kind of needs to be like embraced for the things you really love.
I was talking about someone else who kind of struggled to get their wife pregnant as well.
Similar situation as me and Emma and they were still in the process.
And I go, there's a weird positive that comes out from this.
And it's like a lot of people did get their wife pregnant without even knowing.
It's like this baby has been thrust upon them and they have to like organize their life and they're like, fuck, are we ready?
There's all this like concern and insecurity.
And when you have a little struggle, as you're saying, to get there, when you're finally met with the idea that that baby is going to come, there's fear of you fucking it up or something going wrong, but there's not fear of it happening because you've already come to grips with this idea of it not.
So you're so grateful.
You're so excited.
It's a different energy that you approach it with.
And yeah, it was, yeah, it's just really cool.
And yeah, I agree with you, Mark.
It should be hard.
The things that are worth it are hard.
Yeah.
When are they easy?
I think it's like a biological mechanism.
What do you mean?
Like, I think it's like built into like human development.
Like by suffering, like you end up growing closer with things.
It's like the army, I imagine.
Like all these guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the football team.
Suffering together draws people closer together.
Like your child is in pain and then you're nurturing them and you're exhausted and you have huge commitments the next day and you're also suffering.
And I think it's like a bonding mechanism.
Yeah.
Like through that mutual pain, like you guys are closer.
I mean, I'm sure that's like the hazing thing with fraternities a little bit, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like induce this kind of fake suffering so these people bond together and really feel like they're part of I don't know.
I'm like, I try to be grateful for like the moments of suffering like that.
Like it sounds massive kissing, but I think it's like core.
It's a good perspective to have.
You don't resent it as much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Miles, did you have a good Thanksgiving?
I had a great Thanksgiving.
Any funny stories?
No, I got to make food, which is sort of fun.
What'd you make?
Usually Mark's wife handles damn near everything we've ever eaten.
I think Mark and I have never made something for each other or for ourselves around each other.
Yeah.
Mark's wife handles everything.
And I got to make little things.
I don't know, like gravy and put the turkey back in because it wasn't done.
Like little things.
It was sort of fun to be a part of that.
No, I do want to talk about Mark being a masochist a tiny bit.
What do you mean?
Mark's been on this maskism shit like way too heavy and then also got me on it recently.
Talk to us.
So he's like, yeah.
Did this start with the Shackleton?
Yeah, I think that's a symptom.
It's all a part.
No, no, no.
Shackleton, I really, I think if we go back in time, we'll be like the actual point that all friends are doing.
That's the breaking point.
Yeah.
But no, Mark was just talking about like this in a very loving way about his child.
And I think that's all beautiful.
And I don't want to take away from that.
But also recently said to me, while we're both fasting, he goes, soon, dude, you're going to fucking enjoy the hunger pangs.
Like when I get them, bro, when I wake up with them, I go, oh, what a day I'm about to have.
And I'm like, oh, you're a fucking full-blown lunatic.
That's great.
And he's got me also fasting with him.
How long do you fast?
Like 24 hours, 36 sometimes.
Anything over three days, I don't think you get like a ton of benefits.
Yeah, I don't know about all this.
I got to give some pushback.
It's great.
It's built in every culture.
It's built in every religion.
Fasting is fundamental.
I also think we eat too much as a culture.
We love to consume.
But no one ever feels hungry, even though for most of human history, we've all been hungry.
I don't know if that's true.
Why?
I feel like there was just fruit everywhere.
That's partially true.
Like whenever you see monkeys, it's just like, all right, let me get this persimmon.
They're not really hurting for food.
No, I don't think they're starving.
But like going for multiple hours without food, I think is pretty typical.
Specifically without like proteins.
I think you do that when you're busy.
Yeah.
And I think we were just busier back then.
I mean, some people say we're less.
Forcing your body to go 24 and 48 hours without food is.
But it's not really forcing.
At a certain point, you're just like, I don't feel fun.
You're having hunger pains.
Sometimes.
Sometimes you get hunger pain.
Hunger pleasure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got hunger pleasure, bro.
I don't know.
That shit is nice, dude.
And then you get to kind of like break through in your brain.
Or sometimes you use like a sauna cold plunge.
You try to like fucking force your brain through it.
Yeah.
The only freedom is discipline, guys.
All right.
Just remember that.
Yeah, I don't know.
Insert the anorexic line right here.
I probably have been eating a source.
Mark has an eating disorder crazy.
But now Miles is on it.
Oh, now Miles and I would do it together, suffer together.
He's texting me every like six hours.
And Mark has never texted me more in his life.
He's never responded to a text in my life.
And then the moment I start fasting every three hours, like, how you feeling, brother?
We're in this together.
The pain cave is nothing.
And I was like, pain cave is great.
Did you go deep in your pain cave?
I don't believe in it.
Check it on your boys, bro.
Going into a pain cave is nice.
Don't get it.
I've done it every single year since I've been 13.
It's fast for 25 hours.
Yeah.
And it's not hard.
No.
It's not hard.
He's bragging about one day a year.
Yeah, that's better than some.
He's making a good point.
We're all on our path.
Pain cave is real.
Oh, it's all.
I don't complain.
I can do ice baths.
I can fast.
He can't do that shit.
Andrew can't.
No pain cave for Andrew.
But I think if there's a communal element, he could be down.
He's going to tell the community, I'm cold.
I'm tired.
You need to explain it.
You can create a podcast and tell everyone how cold, hungry, tired he is.
If it's like, hey, we all cold plunge for five minutes, we all get like 10 grand.
He'd be like, yeah, I can stick it out for the squad.
He can't do it.
I'll do it for the group.
For the group, he's got it's not for me, I won't do it, but for the group, I'll do it.
Because for him, he'd just be like, yo, fuck this shit.
I don't care.
Exactly.
But if I'm letting down other people, that would affect.
I get that.
You don't understand.
He can't do those three things.
He can't do it.
Everything else.
You know what?
Guys, everyone, for all the people.
We crushed stuff today.
He is bad.
I was wondering where his coming is.
Andrew's the best.
Andrew's a best friend.
He is so much better than me now.
Oh, wow.
He can't do an ice bath.
He can't fast for 25 hours.
He just finds a new thing.
So I want Jamie Coleman.
Best comedy in the world.
You are phenomenal.
I did one day of Ramadan.
I've done that.
I've done that a few times.
I've done that.
Yeah.
The water's tough.
That water is tough.
Wait, you did it?
My Ramadan, yeah, one day.
Why?
I would do one day with my Muslim friends.
You've done that?
You haven't done that.
I have.
I swear.
I made Emma do it once.
Wait, what?
I did.
How does that work?
I've reverted her.
Yeah.
You went to Sharia?
I went to Salama Laka.
This household of Sharia for the day.
We were Sharia for the day.
For the day we were Sharia.
This is during COVID.
Oh, that would be awesome.
I think that would actually be a good bipartisan bill.
Which is Sharia Day.
Everybody goes, no, men would support that.
Yeah.
And so our Muslim immigrant friends, they feel connected to the culture.
Boom.
And then we all get to see the beauty of Islam.
Thank you.
Sharia Day.
One day.
Sharia Day.
We don't go crazy.
Just no talking back.
Why do we get that day?
No talking back, Dad.
One day if just you appreciate everything I do.
And also, if I ever buy you anything for two weeks minimum, there's nothing you could say.
A thousand percent.
A thousand percent.
Because I've realized it don't matter the price.
They're going to complain about it.
I'm not complaining.
Yeah.
I'm not bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Complaining fast.
Yeah.
Whoa, that's a good idea.
A complaining fast.
You're not complaining about nothing.
An emotional fast.
Exactly.
No emotional fast.
Self or silently.
That's real nobility.
Exactly.
Anytime they start, you just go, Chanel.
Chanel.
Remember that, Chanel?
Yeah, no, price don't matter.
And it makes me go, there's diminishing returns.
Truly.
Yep.
Truly.
If I was like, a card would mean so much more.
Yeah.
But then you got to write that shit.
You got to find it.
Go pick yourself something out.
Go pick yourself something out.
So I don't got to write this card.
This is what your dad did.
He's like, an apology would be easy, bro.
Flightening, dude.
You got our money.
That is still crazy, bro.
That is wild.
Guys, one, I just want to thank you guys so much for holding it down these last few weeks without me.
I really appreciate it.
Shout out for holding down the Patreon.
Shout out to all the patrons, man.
Thank you guys so much.
From what I've been hearing, you guys have been killing it.
So I won't be returning a patron.
I'm back.
I'm back this week.
But I appreciate you guys so much.
Thank you guys for crushing it.
And yeah, just this is now, you know, this is awesome.
We got to do this edit, but now we are now in our pod bag, man.
You know what I mean?
We're in a paddle bag, but we're also in our pod.
Like when the tour stops, that's when things get interesting.
That's when we end up in Morocco randomly.
That's when we end up in London randomly.
That's when things start cracking.
So I think, you know, we got some stuff up our sleeve.
We're going to see what's happening in the near future.
I'm very excited.
Anyway, thank you guys so much.
We love you.
We appreciate you.
Kendrick, we love you, man.
We love you.
We love you.
Love, love.
Hey, it's a real love.
It's a real love.
What?
Hal?
I'm going to take Kendrick to Wicked.
I'm going to take Kendrick to Wicked.
I'll do a third time.
For real.
I think we should take Kendrick to Wicked.
That'll be fun.
I'm going to dress up as Alphaba.
Okay.
What should we dress Kendrick up as?
The Munchkin guy?
The Lockheed?
No, the Munchkin.
The guy who married Bach.
That's Bach.
The guy that marries Ariana, you've seen the play twice.
Stop acting like you're not a homo.
The guy who marries the one who's saying that.
I don't like you acting like you're not a homo like us.