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Nov. 1, 2023 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
01:46:56
Tyson Fury Vs Francis Ngannou, Kai Cenat Goes To Prison, & Hasan Minhaj Fights Back

Alex Schulz and Akaash Singh celebrate his 40th birthday amidst jokes about Matthew Perry's death and race-based number games. They debate Hasan Minhaj's ethics regarding lies in comedy, analyze Tyson Fury's resilience against Francis Ngannou's boxing IQ, and scrutinize Kai Cenat's jail stream format. The hosts further critique Ron DeSantis's political shifts, question the safety of consuming vaginal yeast beer, and mock Mason Cameron's reaction to Dwight Howard, ultimately blending personal anecdotes with sharp cultural commentary on celebrity, sports, and societal norms. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
Choosing Between Black and Asian Dudes 00:15:14
Hey, Al, would you rather 50 black guys or 75 Asian dudes have been with a girl?
You have to choose between two of them.
It's easy.
They're Asian.
Okay, now we have to adjust the numbers.
This is where it gets really fun.
25 black guys.
Whatever the other thing is.
JW Morning.
Seven black guys.
I'm a witch black.
A thousand anything.
All right.
One Francis and Ghana, 50 Asian dudes.
Hey guys, before we started recording, we were all trying to make fun of Alex's burlap outfit.
And Schultz's videographer, Vala, had an absolutely legendary bomb.
And this is where our episode begins.
Do it one more time.
Damn it.
One more time.
Do it one more time.
You want to know what I said?
It's like, if you brought one more sack, we could have done a sack race.
Don't have that.
But he did an acto hit it too.
That's what's the fuck out.
Do the act out.
Okay, we're going to start from the beginning.
Oh, that's an interesting outfit, Al.
What are we going to say about that?
That's crazy.
If you brought one more sack, we could have done a sack race.
How is that not funny?
How is that not funny?
It turned out to be the most funny outfit.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
Your boy celebrated his 40th birthday yesterday.
It's Uncle Sultan now.
Oh, man.
And I got to say thank you so much to all of you guys, my wife, Tanya, for organizing an absolutely awesome birthday.
That was incredible, man.
I really mean it.
Thank you guys.
For real.
That was so much fun.
I think that I'll be gay for a moment.
I think that like sometimes, yeah, just to my extent.
But like, I think sometimes birthdays can be tough because it creates the opportunity for disappointment.
Like, you know, like when people aren't there for you for like a dinner or something in regular life, you're like, oh, yeah, everybody's got, you know, things to do.
They're busy.
They got friends.
They got family.
But then on your birthday, if they don't show up, it's, and again, this is stupid because people are busy, but you can convince yourself there's that little devil.
It's like, oh, I guess I wasn't important to them or something like that.
You feel taken for granted.
You feel whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like, not even taken for, it's just like, oh, man, I wish that, you know, our relationship was stronger or something like that.
And it was just, I mean, yeah, that's the surprise party was so cool.
And then like the after party was so cool.
And like, I never want to put force pressure on anybody.
I never want people to think like, oh, you got to be there for me.
You have to be nice to me.
I like earning my attention, if you will, right?
I mean, that's what we do on stage, right?
And, but it was just, I just felt so filled up with love and it was awesome.
And I just really am grateful for you guys, man.
That was a great way to spend my birthday.
It was really cool.
I love you, man.
I love you.
I love you feeling more, yes.
I feel like that's something that's not.
But after we're here, then you do force that whatever fucking stick shit.
You were filling him up, bro.
That was our best.
You got a good hit on that.
Bro, that shit sent me home.
That just sent me home.
I felt like shit after that one.
Tanya hit one and she hit the stanky leg.
Bro, we had to hold her up.
No.
We had to hold her up.
She came in with too much confidence.
Yeah, that tobacco came from Palestine.
Middle Eastern tobacco is different, bro.
She knows who it's.
Targeted.
Yeah, it was, no, it was just such a great, it was so great, man.
I really am really grateful.
And how did you feel this morning?
Man, I felt like shit, but then I started to recover.
I'm getting good at getting hungover.
Oh, shit.
I feel like I'm beating it, man.
Parks of alcoholism nobody talks about.
You get better at dealing with the hangovers.
Is that it?
I think so, bro.
I think so.
Because the hangover I had a few days ago, I was fucked for the whole day.
This one, I was only fucked for like half of it.
So, if I keep on drinking, I might not be hung on.
Come on, boy.
I think that's what a lot of these motherfuckers do.
These cowards quit.
Yeah.
Before they could fully beat the hangover.
You're just never drinking.
That's what I do.
I drank too much, got in the hot tub, chilled out.
Wait, what?
Where's your hot tub?
Just in my house, a little hot tub, fell asleep a little bit, woke up.
Wow.
You wild.
With everything happening in the Middle East right now, with everything happening.
Your birthday?
And my birthday?
What are you even talking about?
What are you referencing?
You're not my friend.
Whoa, you are my friend, dude.
Yeah, that's not a very friendly comment at all.
He couldn't be referencing friends.
There's a black guy here.
Yeah, exactly.
Good ass points.
This has nothing to do with Friends.
Yeah, they would never drink.
What?
Wait a minute.
Wait, are you referencing Matthew Perry's death?
Who's that?
Oh, thank God.
Guys, thank God.
It's just a coincidence what he was talking about.
Oh, okay.
Oh, my God.
I guess you didn't know that.
That's why you made that really off-color joke.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, Matthew Perry, who's an actor from the famous show Friends, has passed away.
Tragically.
Tragically.
He died in a hot tub, just like what you were talking about, but clearly not exactly.
Because you don't even watch TV.
You don't even know that show.
Never heard.
So you weren't trying to make some edgy joke, you edge lord.
Oh my lord, dude.
It's a great title.
I like that.
Wait, what did happen with Matthew Perry, man?
This is so tragic.
It's sad, yo.
I'm a big friends fan.
We know this.
I'm sad about this.
Yeah.
This guy died in a hot tub.
Struggled with drugs his whole life.
We don't know what happened.
We're still trying to figure it out.
But Mark is full-blown conspiracy theory on this.
A lot of people have been talking.
I don't think this is.
This is crazy.
I don't know.
Have you seen his most recent Instagram post?
Oh, no.
Don't tell me it's something with a hot tub.
It's something with a hot tub.
There's no way there's something with a hot tub shifting.
It just seems strange.
It's him in a hot tub.
And then what is the caption?
Just says, I don't know what happened.
All respect to him and his family, but it also is weird.
Oh, no, Oh, so warm water swirling around makes you feel good.
I'm Matt Man.
Whoa.
Him in a hot tub.
I'm just saying, bro.
It's a huge hot tub, by the way.
This guy's nice.
He's got a nice tub.
Overlooking that way.
Who's taking that picture?
I don't know.
George Soros, probably.
Oh, fucking the Luma.
Is that him in the corner?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I thought it was just.
Oh, with the beats on?
Yeah.
Okay.
So what do we think happened here?
Oh, somebody killed him.
Yeah, my dad.
Do you think you think it was a murder?
Yeah.
Why?
Look at the evidence.
That's all the evidence we need right there.
Look at the evidence.
Guys, we shouldn't be joking around about this.
I'm not laughing at his death.
I'm laughing at this.
Look at the evidence.
Come on, man.
I'm very sad about that.
Can I ask an honest question?
Because I think the outfit is very creative and cool.
Okay.
This is an honest question.
It's not.
I don't act ready.
No act out there.
I just want to let you know.
Okay.
So I'm already prepared to just stop at the bomb.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm not going to act it out.
Why?
Okay.
I just need to understand if this is like a paid thing.
You don't have a relationship with the I do have a relationship with the okay.
Yeah.
And then is this part of Halloween?
Because it is Halloween.
We're filming this on Halloween.
Yeah, let's say I'm Scarecrow.
Okay.
There we go.
I could do you could pass with Scarecrow if I threw some shit on right now.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Run it back.
Run it back, father.
Run it back.
Hold on, hold on.
Oh, I helped you out.
I helped you out.
What are you doing there?
Are you doing a sacrifice?
I helped you out right there.
I helped you out, bro.
Oh, man.
Fuck you guys.
That was a good joke.
Like, what the fuck?
I don't know if you guys are pulling a prank.
We're not pulling a pregnant.
Why is nobody making fun of Alex's outfit?
That's what I need to know.
Yeah.
Why have you guys sitting here on the couch?
It's very out there, but it's also kind of fly.
That's what I'm saying.
So it's like it's hard to make fun.
He bombs so bad it got on our heads.
Yeah, let's get out of our heads.
We have to get out of our heads.
He bombs so bad.
Stop affecting us.
Because if we go at it, you got to go perfect or else it's really hot.
What would you say?
Hold on.
What would you say if what if Akash showed up dressed like a human-trafficked damn action?
Act it out.
Help me.
Take me back to my family.
Take me back to my family in Eastern Europe.
Never mind.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
What if Akash came dressed up as that?
What would we say?
As this?
Yeah.
That could be my outfit for real.
That could be my Halloween outfit.
Boss Muthi Rice.
Indian bag of rice.
There you go.
That's what I'm doing.
I mean, his hips did look like that for a while.
Yeah.
Honestly, yeah.
We were talking about this before the pod: how miserable you are.
And I need you to just be honest with the people.
Are you more miserable now that you're skinny?
No, I'm not.
It's just fun.
I'm being honest.
It's not fun trying to be skinny, but it's awesome.
It's not anymore.
You can't even stay away.
That's because I have a cold.
Good luck.
So there's no negative side effects to oh, dude, we had a fantastic dinner last night at a place I've wanted to eat at for a long time.
Oh, fantastic.
Shouts.
And then they were just passing delicious plate after delicious plate.
And every time I know about the shouts.
Yeah, I said shouts and I was like, all right, who ordered the paparazzi?
John, Joe's got paparazzi.
That was crazy.
Who ordered the paparazzi?
No, somebody did that shit.
Yo, mad paparazzi waiting outside.
I've been out here.
There wasn't even a card in the camera.
It was just flash going on.
We go outside the restaurant.
We leave.
There's Matt Paparazzi there.
I see Charlemagne.
Somebody ordered.
I'm thinking they're just wanting pictures of Charlemagne.
Charlamagne also brought like a Congresswoman.
Yeah.
They both left, though.
So I'm like, oh, dude.
Dude, what a flex.
Charlamagne.
Apparently, Charlotte goes to my wife, hey, can I?
It's going to be me plus three.
And my wife is like, yeah, that's fine.
Like, Andrew's 40th birthday is probably, you know, some people that are close to us or whatever.
And he just shows up with a fucking Congresswoman.
That's a flex.
She walked in and asked me.
She was like, Is it cool if I join?
I was like, I don't know.
I guess.
Yeah, you don't need our permission.
Yeah.
Shit, it was wild.
But then after Charlamagne gets in the car, paparazzi's still hanging out.
And then Andrew walks out, flash, I thought y'all did this.
I was trying to look at the paparazzi and like see if it was our friends.
No.
Did you hear what Miles said when Miles was killing?
Because I walked out and we were the first ones out and the guys were there.
Miles was like, dude, there's paparazzi.
I was like, what?
Are you being serious?
I was like, how many?
He's like, he's like, four.
And then he looks and he goes, oh, fuck.
Well, like, three and a half.
We turn around.
Did you make an off-color joke?
There's a small person.
There's a dwarf paparazzo.
I forgot I said that.
You can't make off-color jokes like that, man.
But I forgot I said.
Did we see that guy's photos?
No, it was all just crotchets.
He got clear shots of me, but not the rest of it.
There was not a midget paparazzi.
There was a little midget paparazzi.
Oh, I missed the midget.
I love midget.
Just so pleasant to see, man.
You think you have to get it?
Oh, they're the best.
I hate that we haven't found a good thing to say about this outfit.
I was going to say something.
I was going to say something, but I was like, fuck.
If I just bomb a gas, just do it.
Just do it.
And act it out.
Because you could put the midget in your outfit and toss them.
And then do it.
I'll do it.
Now do it.
Come on.
Mala, toss it.
Toss something.
Toss something.
Just toss something.
Just do it.
Yeah.
God.
Damn, bro.
The second one was a little better than the first one.
Yeah, it was a little better.
What's your outfit?
You haven't addressed your awesome outfit.
Come on, take a guess.
Take a wild guess.
I knew the first one.
You said it was three things.
I knew Billy Madison.
This is Billy Madison.
That's great.
Yep.
Yep.
What else, though?
Well, you'll see, man.
I have multiple.
I have outfit changes during this episode.
All three of them on right now.
I thought this could be three things.
He hasn't had real food in 72 hours.
Okay.
The cognitive function is very low right now.
He was around chicken parmesan's last night.
It was salivating.
He was angry.
I remember seeing you go up to get your wife and you were so upset because there was food on the table you couldn't eat.
It's like seeing a married dude at a strip club.
He's just like, oh, good is happening.
Let me have a bite.
What was the thing you wanted the most?
Oh, that pasta looked crazy.
That pasta looked crazy.
What would you have done?
Oh, and the dessert.
I had a bite of the chocolate cake and a bite of the cheesecake.
I saw you take the bite.
Your hand was trembling because you put the fork into the can.
Cheesecake?
I was so happy.
I was like, this is, this is life.
Yeah, that cheesecake was.
What are the rest of us doing?
What if we do for just this episode, anytime we make a joke, Volla's behind us and he has to act out to the best of the world?
What if that is just part of the channel?
If he's willing, I love that.
If you're willing to do it, when we make a good joke, and it's up to you to decide the joke is good.
What?
I'm heartbroken right now.
I don't know if you realize this, Vala, but it's funnier when we don't laugh.
Yeah, that's true.
I'll take that.
Yeah.
I'm so like.
Talk it to the bike.
We're gaslighting it.
It's a shambles right now that I bombed two times in a row.
Three.
He's got the ledger in the back.
He's got the ledger.
It's on the blockchain.
Savage.
We got three.
Oh, my God.
Tour announcements.
Australia, we're coming.
Okay.
Perth, we added that second show.
Still some tickets available for that.
Sydney, we added a second show, added more seats for that.
So grab those while they last.
And Brisbane, we added more seats.
Thank you so much for selling out these shows.
This has been absolutely amazing.
And then we're coming back to America.
The first three cities are up right now for the life tour in America.
Okay.
We got Chicago, Boston, and Washington, D.C. We've added second shows in each of those three cities.
Go get those tickets right now.
Dandraylschultz.com.
Thank you guys so much for the support.
I cannot wait for you guys to see this hour.
Peace.
Also, guys, December 1st and 2nd is sold out in Portland.
So we're adding another show.
Get your tickets at akashing.com for that.
December 8th, New Orleans.
December 17th, 18th, and 19th at Glasgow.
We added a show in London.
Glasgow, y'all ain't really buying no tickets.
I'm not going to lie about it.
Would love if you did because I don't want to hate Scotland more than I already do.
And this is big.
January 6th, 8th, and 9th.
I'm coming to see other parts of Europe.
I'm going to Oslo, Amsterdam, and Eindhoven.
I don't even know what that is.
Adding Sold Out Portland Shows 00:03:03
That sounds like an oven mitt of some kind, but I'm going to be there.
Get your tickets at akashing.com.
Let's sell these hoes out.
Anyway, last night was fucking awesome.
Thank you guys so much.
We got decorations in here that are beautiful.
Can you address the paparazzi?
That was real, bro.
You're there now.
Paparazzi hanging out.
There's no way, dude.
Do you remember how he reacted when he came outside?
It was almost adorable.
He was like, there's no way.
He was like a little kid.
He put his hands in his pockets.
He's like, just get the fucking live, you guys.
Life, you guys.
Because my feeling on the paparazzi is like, so I had like a dude that was famous live below me when I was growing up.
Yeah.
I don't want to say his name, but whatever.
And there was never paparazzi.
And I'm talking about like famous, famous.
So he's like, A-list.
A-list.
Famous, famous, still to this day.
Never paparazzi.
And I'm like, and there was no doorman or nothing on the building.
Like they could be right there if they wanted it.
Never there.
So when I saw that, I was like, oh, this is all by design.
Like PR companies are doing.
You probably heard about shit, right?
So once I saw that, I was like, okay, ML, there are certain people I think the paparazzi do attach themselves to, and those are like people who are famous for the sake of being famous.
Does that make sense?
Like they have that escape velocity with their fame, you know?
And, but I think everyone else just hires the paparazzi around when they have to like drop a movie or an album or something to get some images out there.
That's why I saw it and I was like, I'm not one of those people.
Like, if you like my comedy, watch my comedy, you know who I am.
But I'm not like a, where did Andrew Schultz eat dinner tonight?
Do you know what I mean?
You should have attacked one of them.
No.
Bro, that would have been the funniest thing.
That would have been good.
That's fun.
I literally couldn't.
I was like, which person is doing this?
What a fucking prank.
Because the funniest thing would be if one of you guys planned it and then I like took it seriously.
Started doing interviews.
And I was like, oh, guys, come on.
That's my birthday, guys.
Can I have a moment with my wife, please?
Like, please, like, why don't you respect our privacy?
Like, having that footage of me taking paparazzi serious as if they should be there for me would be a great prank.
Yo, I'm fucking punching one with a nidget.
Oh, just send him across Mock Street.
What's the point at which it gets annoying?
Now we're talking.
Get it, get it.
Fuck you, bro.
Fuck all the people laughing at that.
No, that was a good joke.
That joke was awesome.
Dude, we just need one more.
We could have a sack.
Oh!
Oh, he did it.
Oh, he really went there.
That's how it was.
It's done, dude.
That's it's a time.
Yeah, you know what?
Fuck you, you use the word sack twice.
I'm telling you.
Get out of the room.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
The best thing happened right after the paparazzi.
Okay, Goga went.
And then one rat took a strike on all of us.
The chain reaction of our wives freaking out was so funny.
Feeling Faster at Forty 00:07:28
I know.
Dove got on all fours and he was just scurrying around the room.
And it was killing him.
And people were terrified, dude.
Absolutely terrified.
We're like, Dove, come on, come on, get up here.
Do it.
Do it, Volley.
Yeah, Volley, go.
Dove.
The act out.
The act out.
Oh, my God.
The Dove, Dove, looking for the cheese.
Oh, man.
That's crazy.
Ball is back.
He's back, bro.
He's back.
He's vindicated, bro.
Bob back, baby.
That red joke is going to get clipped up, and Twitter's going to say, Andrew Schultz just perfectly summed up how the people.
You're going viral.
You're going viral, baby.
Oh, yeah.
Those are some of the birthday decorations Miles got you.
Thank you.
Just a tombstone.
Thank you so much.
I'll do my best to not eat this during the pot.
Oh, move it away because you know you got to eat this.
Have you reflected on 40 yet?
Have you taken it in and been like, yo, 39 was way harder.
Really?
Yeah, 39 was way harder.
I remember distinctly feeling that.
What did you feel about 39?
I was 39.
All the emotions for 40, I felt at 39.
And then 40, I think a lot of times there's anxiety for dudes with their age when it comes to the things that they've achieved in their life.
Not even just work, which is, you know, like marriage, you know, family, these types of things.
Like, where am I on this course that I've plotted for myself?
And I feel really proud.
Like, I feel happy.
I have friends.
I have a wife, you know, my fucking dream girl.
And, you know, my family's healthy-ish.
And so I'm like really proud of where I am in life.
So I didn't feel like that anxiety about getting older.
But at 39, I was like, oh, I'm no longer young.
Does that make sense?
Like 38 was the last, I don't know.
It's hard to describe.
38 was the last time I could feel young-ish.
Okay.
39 feels like 40's coming.
At 38, nobody's going, hey, 40's coming.
I do feel 40's coming at 39 right now.
I feel like, yo, 40's coming.
You got to start.
I never felt super young at 35, 36, but I was like, 40's coming now.
You're an adult.
Yeah.
But you've already processed that, so 40 will be fine.
Yeah.
I remember 30 hit me and then 31 hit me.
Yeah.
And I was like, holy shit, this number just keeps going up.
If you're lucky, it just keeps getting higher.
And then I was like, well, that's just life now.
So it's just going to keep.
So I think.
I will say this, though.
That shit goes by fast, bro.
That shit goes by fast.
And there's like a Socrates cloth that I'm going to butcher, but like it's something about you're playing the game and there's way less time left than you think.
So enjoy it.
And it is true.
Like if I think about how fast 40 years went by, what a fucking unbelievable.
Like 20 years ago, half of my life ago feels like last year.
Dude, college feels very living together in that apartment.
That was a month ago.
Yeah.
And that was what, 10 years, something like that?
Yeah.
College feels like it wasn't that long ago.
For us colleges, 20 years ago, we were freshmen.
Yeah.
Crazy.
So enjoy it.
Soak it up.
And that's how our parents are always like, oh my God, you grow up so fast.
And I'm even seeing it with my nieces.
Like they're growing ups.
And so that's, I completely get now why when we have kids, we're going to do the same thing that the kid gets annoyed with.
And they're like, shut up.
I'm not growing up.
And you're like, no, you, you're growing up so fast.
You have no idea.
I cherish this.
I'm going to miss this.
You cannot, life, you can only live it forward.
You can only understand it backwards.
And my dad always says that thing, youth, why is it wasted on the young?
And I don't think that we waste it.
Like, I genuinely am very proud of the way that, you know, I've, I guess, conducted myself in life.
Like, I, yeah, the things that I always wanted and cherished, I have, you know, lots of great friends, building businesses, making money together, you know, creating security for ourselves, family, that kind of stuff.
So that I feel very good about, but it is lightning fast, this life.
Yeah.
And I feel like it just gets faster and faster.
You know, it's like, what is it, a centrifugal force, centripetal force?
Like the further out you go, the faster you're going to keep up.
That's life.
Yeah.
Like the further away you're going from day one, the faster it fucking feels.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unbelievable.
Well, man, you are, I texted you this, but I thought I was going to miss this episode, but you are, I want to say, because you don't get often to be gay without being called gay.
And this is like your 40th birthday.
You are an inspiration to me.
And then there's a part of me that's always like, man, I want to beat Schultz to something.
Let me do something first.
And I thought about it.
I was like, I've learned so much from watching you be first at everything.
You really inspire me beyond just like the work ethic and all the stuff you've done for me with the pod.
Just watching you get more famous every day and become a better person every day.
I don't know if you understand how fucking rare that is.
That means I love you and I'm so proud of you and I'm so inspired by you.
I love you, dogs.
You're my brother.
Love you, my brother.
I just want to say that publicly.
Thanks.
I don't know if people get how rare you are as like someone who's trying to be a better person while getting more and more successful.
Yeah, that's, thank you, man.
Of course, man.
Of course.
And that's the, that's, that would be the goal.
Yeah.
I mean, that's why it was so awesome having everybody there yesterday.
It was just so, you know, just looking around this group of people that like I genuinely care about and want everybody to succeed.
That's like, what a great gift.
I mean, I said it yesterday, but that is, it's, it's like, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if the quality of your life is judged by like how many people would do things for you.
I think it's like how many people you would do things for because that's that's like a really deep connection that you have with those people, those people you want to protect, you want to care for, you want to, you know, see flourish, right?
And I was looking around this room and I was like really excited by everybody there.
And it was, I mean, everybody, you know, from Charlemagne was so instrumental in like everything that I've been able to do.
And obviously, you building this with you, and then seeing Mark, you going out to create camp and all this other success and stand-up and just crushing it.
And then Alex, obviously, with WTF.
And I'm just looking around with all these different people.
And it's just like, even my friends from like high school and college.
And it was like, wow, this is pretty awesome.
This is really awesome.
So I think that's what it was easier to like hit 40 knowing that I have this room full of people that I'm like building things with.
Yeah, building with your friends is crazy.
Dude, I was telling them last week, we weren't even reflecting, but I was just like, oh, yeah, what's wild?
Andrew and I started this podcast in his apart in his parents' apartment on his laptop.
He doesn't even use a computer anymore.
That's how long ago.
So it's just like, it's just very cool.
This is an opportunity to look back and be like, wow, man, this is a fucking, we, we did some very cool things.
Yeah.
And just awesome what you guys did for me, making that day really special.
Of course.
Yeah.
Never forget that.
That was so cool.
And I hope we continue to do that for everybody.
I know we throw birthdays for everybody here.
And I think it's important because on that day, they should know that people care about them.
Because it's very easy to feel like, very easy to feel like maybe people don't if nobody shows up for you that day.
And all the rest of the days are just kind of pleasantries.
Never Forget People Care About You 00:11:36
You know?
But yeah, yeah, it was cool.
Very cool day.
And we're back, baby.
We are back.
Sick outfit change?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I had to get my outfit changed.
What is this?
SpongeBob?
I'm SpongeBob SquarePants.
Okay.
What did I just tell you?
You were pissed off about my favorite cartoon.
Yeah, but did you know that your favorite cartoon is built on a lie?
Okay.
What is a lie?
He doesn't have pants, bro.
Okay.
Hold on.
Yeah, he does.
No.
He doesn't have one.
He doesn't have pants and two days in a square.
Okay, that guy.
He has pants.
They're shorts.
They're shorts.
Oh.
SpongeBob Square shorts.
And you know what?
All sorts of square.
No, no, no.
Those are just Andrew Lemp pants right there.
Yeah, exactly.
Why do you think I'm SpongeBob Square pants?
Finally, that makes sense.
He's been riding me this whole time.
And they are rectangular in a lot of ways.
All right, fair enough.
Fuck it.
So you're probably right, bro.
You're not wearing the costume properly.
Yeah.
What is going on?
The pants didn't go down far enough.
So I had to put the head by the dick.
You made him a glory hole.
I did.
That's crazy.
Who brought that up?
Oh, yo.
So we're hanging out.
So, so what's happened after I left?
After you left, shit got lit.
I ain't gonna lie.
God damn.
We're at Champion Pizza.
Shout out to Champion Pizza.
And Foda is Foda out of nowhere.
I don't even know why he said this.
He goes, Oh, yeah.
Did y'all hear about the story where the dad got head from his daughter in a glory hole?
Banger, opening line, though.
Yeah, and everybody's like, No, we didn't hear about that story.
Why don't you explain it?
And then where is it?
It's in Germany or something like that?
It's in Amsterdam.
Dad goes to this glory hole spot.
Like, what is it, father-like daughter or whatever.
The daughter is at the glory hole spot.
Allegedly, she's blowing dudes in a glory hole.
Dad gets blown, pulls up over the curtain.
Yeah, daughter.
This went viral on Twitter recently.
That's this is what people are saying.
I choose not to believe it because it's insane, but apparently it's real.
Dove, if it was a cousin, would it be cool?
Oh, yeah, they rehashed this whole thing last night.
You know, you know, they rehashed this whole thing.
Wait, what do you mean?
What happened?
They brought up his sisters.
What about them?
What about them, Mark?
What about them?
His whole story fell apart.
His whole story fell apart.
Vala was so hurt by it.
Don't believe it.
Don't believe it.
No, no, no.
Don't believe it.
They made that shit up.
Mark and Dove had a powwow behind the scenes and be like, yo, can you clear that up for me?
No, So that's true.
Dove came to the table.
He's like, guys, I was lying.
You know, I was just making the whole thing up.
Then Mark's wife was like, no, you weren't.
That was weird.
That was weird.
And she was like, wait, what are you talking about?
I remember this.
So Dove said, I was just lying about Mark and his sisters and the, you know, whatever.
Bob, you tried to back off of that funny thing that you said about Mark's family.
And then Vala looks at obviously goes, wait, it's not real.
And it hurt me so bad that I'm doubling back down.
It is real.
It really happened, Volla.
It did.
I knew it.
A version of it did.
I'm just trying to soften the.
I want to get back to where we were before.
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
Also, the cousin thing, your girl defended me.
No, she called her true.
She's weird.
She's weird with that.
That made me look at her a little bit.
Your girl said that she was smash out.
No.
She said that it wasn't weird that Dove smashes out.
She was given double lap dance.
She said that wasn't weird.
Double lap dance.
In Toronto, when your cousin was giving you a lap dance.
And you were popcorn in her.
You were doing that.
You were hitting her.
Throwing the sponge out.
You were handling the power boy.
You had that sponge bob.
I'm ready.
I'm ready for it, bro.
That sponge was bobbing, bro.
You remember?
You remember.
But yeah, she said that wasn't weird.
And I'm like, ah, babe, come on, bro.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's fucking weird, yo.
She also said Dove's lie about me wasn't weird.
You remember that?
Yeah, but that she's European.
But it's not a lie.
Nah, but she's European.
They walk around topless.
So for her hands.
Being naked with your family's fine.
Because I'm European.
Be careful crossing your legs, bro.
The camera's getting a few.
Is it coming out?
Is the package coming out?
Am I fluffed?
Hold on.
I mean, you're giving them ice space right there.
Does ice face have a fat ass or not?
Whoa, I mean, disrespectful.
Like, with all due respect, I don't know.
It's not the craziest ass I ever seen.
Nah, chill out, bro.
It's not.
Like, I feel like people are inflating her ass.
No, no, no.
Oh, it's inflated.
But it's real.
That's why it's so impressive.
Okay, so there we go.
It's she, no, she has a beautiful body.
She's a very pretty girl.
Don't get me wrong.
But people like, yo, the ass, the ass, the ass.
We have seen larger asses.
Is this fair?
We have, but they're usually augmented.
So we haven't really seen bodies like this that are just.
So we talk about ass and Al's using SAT words.
Ain't that bad?
He's a clonasur.
He's a clon of seura.
He's an aficionado all of a sudden.
I like to dissect this one.
Okay, so nah, she looked crazy hot in that Betty Boop out.
Adorable.
Boop.
Yeah.
Adorable.
Adorable.
Also, without the hair, without her typical, what is it called?
The raggedy hand.
Yeah, without the raggedy hand.
Yeah, yeah.
Yo, I just now realized she had.
I mean, it looks so much better, right?
How much matters are stunning?
Look how stunning beautiful she is.
That's crazy.
I did not even realize that.
But the hair's iconic, though.
The hair's iconic.
I get it.
100%.
No, she killed her, though.
Respect.
Yeah, with all due respect.
Al, with all due respect, is there anything else you'd like to share?
No, absolutely not.
I can't even respect anymore.
Wait, why?
It's that much?
It's that crazy?
No, I'm just saying it's the performance was great.
Yeah, you use that performance.
Al tweeted, has that Betty Boop red dress gone viral yet?
Twitter Al is a wild boy.
What time?
What time?
What time was it?
Sounds late.
Damn, that's bad.
I got to delete that one.
Got to delete that one.
Al gets on Twitter late at night.
It gets wild.
We got to talk about Hassan Minaj.
Yeah.
We do.
Free Hassan, like we just saying.
Yeah, we have.
This whole time, we were saying I was a lying-ass bitch in the New Yorker.
Yeah, absolutely.
How dare she?
Absolutely.
How dare she tell the exact truth?
And then him go on camera and say, Yeah, you were right, but you were wrong.
Yeah.
Now, I will say this.
I was right about the high school girl.
Remember, I said the high school girl was racist?
You were right about that.
Because I said he was too cute to be rejected.
Yeah.
So it had to be racism.
Yeah, yeah.
I knew what I was right about that one.
But the other two ones, yeah, he did lie about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
I mean, if a white powder falls on my daughter, I don't think if it's a prank, I'm going to be like, we don't need to check this out.
We don't need to go to the hospital.
It's a prank.
Yeah.
I think you're going to be like, hey, there's white powder on my daughter.
Let's go to the fucking hospital just to make sure she's not dying.
Yeah.
Let's call a doctor.
I'm Indian.
I probably know some doctors.
Let's just see what's going on.
I just think the same thing exists from the last conversation we said, where it's like, if you're lying to make it funnier, it's great.
Do it.
Do it.
And if you are lying to be some sort of hero or to increase victimization, then it's corny.
Yeah.
And I don't think he said anything in the video that disputed that.
Yeah.
Outside of the girl situation, which I knew she was a fucking racist bitch this whole time.
I knew that.
That's married to a brown guy.
That's what she is.
It's guilt.
That's what these white people do.
They're guilty, bro.
They marry what they hate.
They're like, I need to make their lives miserable.
They hate us, so they make us.
That's it.
Think about it.
If you hate, if you're a woman, you hated brown men.
What's the number one way to drive one fucking crazy?
Marry that brown motherfucker.
You're going to be miserable.
You don't want them to get driven crazy.
Let him marry a brown girl.
That's true.
You know what I mean?
They're selfish.
These white women are selfish.
They want to inflict the pain.
That's true.
They don't want to give all that joy to a brown woman to drive a brown man crazy.
They're like, no, that's for me.
So, yeah, free Hassan from that white bitch.
Yeah.
Free Hassan, bro.
But I got to say, he's fucking fantastic.
Did you guys watch the video?
Of course.
I watched some videos.
He's fantastic.
Like, even though the whole time he's just saying exactly what everybody criticized him for, he's going, yeah, I did lie to increase victimization, which is the criticism.
He's not saying, oh, I didn't lie to make it funner.
He's like, I lied to increase victimization.
And the whole time I'm watching it and going, I know you're agreeing with the criticism, but you're saying it in a way that vindicates you.
Yeah.
And I agree with you.
This guy's good.
That's how I felt after.
For real.
Hamas need to hire him.
Do you know what I mean?
Like for profit or the IDF, but one of them need to get on this motherfucker for real.
Both sides.
I mean, incredible.
Yeah, he's very charming.
He's charming.
White bitch, devil?
How dare she?
How does white devil play him like that?
How dare she?
And how's he blaming on her family when you knew it was her?
That's fucked up.
Maybe she loved him so much.
She was like, I can't make this brown guy miserable.
Oh.
I got to find the next one.
It was true love.
It might have been true love.
Holy shit.
That's beautiful.
But yeah, I think that's really the issue.
And you got to get these jokes, man.
You're going to get these jokes.
If you do some goofy shit like that, you're going to get these jokes.
You know?
But it was very well done.
I'm not going to lie.
It was handled very well.
He's a smart guy, dude.
It was handled very, very well.
The kid's good.
The kid's good.
I think he went a little easy on the white girl, though.
She should have gotten worse.
What would you have done?
I would have doxed her.
What?
Do you know what that means?
Yep.
What does it mean?
It's when you send a white powder.
No, that's not Dachshund.
That's not anthrax on.
That's Dachshund, I thought.
When you send a white powder to somebody, when you open it, you know how you open envelopes over your kids' heads.
You know how when you're going through mail, you put your kid right underneath it and then you open it up?
Yeah.
That's what I thought it is.
Especially when I'm getting death threats.
That's why I want a daughter.
Exactly.
I just want her to open it for me.
Yeah, when I get a piece of mail from a no return address, I just get my child and then I open it up upside down over them, just in case, because you never know.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, you can't have it land on me.
Yeah.
And then you got this white bitch.
This white bitch, dude.
You know what I mean?
This white bitch.
How dare she?
That's the issue is this white bitch.
Take down Hassan, Minhaj.
Because that's his name.
Why are we even laughing?
That's how you pronounce it.
Minassan in a way I didn't expect.
Minhaj.
Yeah.
That sounds correct.
I'm pronouncing it correct.
Hassan.
Hassan.
Min Haj.
What's going on?
I don't know, Al.
He's in a loop.
He's in a feedback.
I think I am.
I think I am.
So free Hassan.
Free Hassan.
Lock up the white bitch.
And then, third of all, we need to get this guy hired for some sort.
You know who needs him bad right now?
Ukraine, bro.
Because all the energy's in the Middle East.
Nobody's giving a fuck about Ukraine anymore.
They need a great propagandist that can sell you anything.
And I don't know if there's anybody better than Hassan Minhaj right now.
He could be president.
Bruh.
He could be president.
You really want to take down Trump?
Take down Trump.
Hiring Hassan Minhaj for Ukraine 00:15:02
Holy shit.
That'd be fire.
Oh, that'd be kind of awesome, actually.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Born in very racism.
I need to see this California.
A lot of racism in Northern California.
I don't know if it was.
No Indians.
A lot of racism.
I need to see that acceptance speech from him when he gets up there and he's like, four score and seven years.
Our forefathers.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Before I talk about this next sponsor, I want to tell a quick story.
I got to meet a dude named Saad Chowdhury.
And he'd been a fan for a while, big fan of the flagrancy and the stand-up.
And when I was in London, we met him after the show, Royal Albert Hall.
And when we were talking, I didn't know that he was going to be one of the sponsors of the show, but he told me when he was listening to the pod earlier on, he was developing his career.
He was making these video games.
He's like, one day I want to be able to sponsor Flagrant.
That would be so incredible.
And his career started to rise and our show started to get more popularity.
And we had this cool conversation, the Bowser Royal Albert Hall, where he's like, I can't believe we're going to sponsor it.
And I'm like, oh, what is it?
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Okay.
You can even scan this QR code and you start playing it to practice.
You get to level five to be involved because the number one flagrant player is in for two tickets to one of my shows.
Flights and a combination paid for.
They got it.
So shout out to Sai, man.
Congratulations on all your success.
Keep on building.
We're going to keep on building and really cool to be working together.
So make sure you don't miss this.
Okay.
We're all in major announcement cooking up with 8 Ball Pool very soon.
And yeah, I'm stoked for you, my bro.
Very stoked for you, dude.
Continued success.
And it's fun, too.
I suck at regular pool.
I could play this.
I'm so bad at regular pool.
I could play this.
I'm actually shocked you're bad at pools.
So bad.
You have good coordination.
I know.
You would think.
And you would think I would know the angles, but no, I just don't.
I'll hit like two or three amazing shots and then miss eight in a row.
Don't make any sense.
Yeah.
You're like so.
I'm up in my head a little bit.
Yeah.
That's like really surprising.
We were even talking about you with where you were playing Padel and why you're good at it.
I mean, like you still have to get the tennis rust off.
Yeah.
But like you're just naturally coordinated.
Yeah, more than I wouldn't.
Yeah, I wouldn't say you're like freakishly athletic.
Yeah.
But your coordination.
Yeah.
Like you can pick up dance moves really well.
Like just being able to practice in a bar by yourself.
Ping pong.
You know, yeah, absolutely.
No, no, I'm, I know you're fucking busting balls, but I mean that sincerely.
Like, so pool seems like.
It seems like it would be, and it drives me crazy.
I think it's too much time to think.
I need something that's a little bit more reflexive.
I can't really think.
You're getting in your head about the shot.
Oh, do I have the angle right?
Yeah, am I hitting it too hard, too soft?
Am I going to leave it in the bottom?
Whereas ping pong, you don't have time to react.
Yeah.
Quick.
It's very quick.
All reaction.
You don't have time to think.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
That makes sense.
I can get on board.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
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All right, Mark.
We went out last night and we engaged in some nice fun hypotheticals with the boys.
Yep.
Okay.
Colin, Foda, the super boy, Joey Avery, Miles, Miles, McCreary.
Okay.
Now, there were some interesting questions asked, posed by Colum and yourself.
Where should we start?
So one that me and Colin have debated for a very long time.
Yes.
For hours, actually, is would you rather, would you rather get with a girl 28 years old?
You're going to get with her.
You might marry this woman that's had zero bodies or a hundred bodies?
I think we know how I answer that question.
I think that's quite logical, Al.
So initially, I'm leaning towards zero because hundreds a lot.
Hundreds are lies.
100 is a lot.
She's 20 years old, though.
Pounded.
But never had sex, though.
She didn't know what she was doing.
I'm assuming religion is involved somehow.
You got a teacher.
Here's the thing.
It don't take that long to learn.
That's what I was trying to tell them.
I've been fucking the same way since like the third time I fuck.
I don't think I got any better.
Probably not fucking good.
Hey, On his back.
On my back.
On my back, you love on your back.
Just pop up there.
I've transitioned to becoming lazy.
Yeah, that's not lazy.
This is cool.
That's all cool.
Come on, bro.
What?
Yeah, literally.
It is not literally.
Come on, bro.
Come on, bro.
Y'all can't look me in the eyes while I pop conquering.
I'm looking at you right in the eyes right now.
Come on.
No, I'm saying, like, you can learn sex quick.
It ain't that crazy.
So, this idea, like, oh my God, the girl doesn't know how to fuck.
You could teach him how to fuck within five sessions.
It's not paddle.
Yeah, but we're ours.
You know what I mean?
It's nothing.
It's not hard.
We're built to be good at this shit.
Wait, but are we also 20 in this hypothetical or we're our age right now?
Whatever you want.
Because I'm too old to be teaching some of that shit.
Wow.
You teach people how to set up studios.
You can't teach a girl how to top.
Also, take a look at it.
Now you can teach her exactly what you like.
Yo, isn't teaching a girl how to suck dick a little gay?
Like, like, yeah, just like, just squeeze and really shit off their heads.
Like, like, you acting it out yourself.
Spitz, bad.
It's like a little gay, right?
Like, how do you know this so well?
You know what I mean?
But then, what's the alternative?
You don't teach them?
You got to be like, you know, try, I don't know, watch some shit.
You got to show it a video.
For y'all, that's experience.
If we talked, it would be gay.
It would be like, yo, how do you outdo it?
How do y'all know this?
And I'd be like, well, I Wikipedia did.
Yeah, you watched that or no.
Haven't you watched that?
Or no before?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, I guess that's a gay because then you're like, damn, this guy's a different mission than taking notes at the time, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're just staring at this guy's dick and sucks so awesome.
But you're taking notes from her perspective.
And that's gay.
I guess it might be a tad bit.
Yeah.
So I guess you just have to say nothing and just tolerate it.
No, you can't do that.
So how do you make it like secretly get it in her brain while she's sleeping, maybe?
Don't nut have them fail.
Oh, really?
You have to have them fail.
Unfortunately.
No participation trophies.
No participation trophies.
Back in the day, I did that one.
And then that will work.
Tried better.
Yes.
It's deadass.
Never in their life have they experienced a situation where they couldn't get a guy to come.
Usually, I mean, it is like groundbreaking for a woman to go through that.
So when they don't, they're like, I need to get better at this.
I need to know how you ended it, be honest.
No, I'm there.
How did you end it though?
What'd you say?
No, I was like, it's just not really doing it.
Yeah.
You're on X Factor.
Randy Jackson.
Randy Jackson.
And what happened next time?
Shorty came back with a vengeance.
Hell yeah, man.
Golden buzzer.
No, it's crazy.
It really works.
Nah, it does work.
I knew my boy dated this girl for a year because he didn't nut the first time they tried to fuck.
She liked him for a year.
Like her whole psyche was destroyed.
She's a beautiful girl, used to getting whatever guy she wants.
She can't even make the guy come.
She's like, I need to get this guy to come so I can feel good about myself.
Who is your boy?
Yeah.
Yeah, just please.
I think he had a problem nothing to be honest.
Why don't they make that as a supplement?
Say him.
Well, give you a supplement that makes you not nut.
This is a donut pill.
100%.
And then any girl that you hook up with will like you forever.
Yeah, no, there was a number condom.
I had that shit.
And I fucked.
I told you this story.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The materials on the inside.
But I opened up the Jimmy and I didn't know which was in or out because it's dark.
So I rolled the shit on the wrong way.
And you can only just get it a little bit, right?
So then I had to take my fingers and flip it.
So now I got the number shit all over my fingers.
And I started touching her pussy.
Now this girl's numb.
I'm fucking numb.
It's just two dolls fucking.
Your fingers are numb.
Everything's numb, bro.
She can't feel shit.
I can't feel shit.
Nobody enjoying this.
It was dark.
We both fake nutted.
We were like, uh-huh.
You couldn't see anything.
You have a fake duck?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
I faked that a few times.
You spit on their back or you got it in the car?
Nutty, got him.
Oh, really?
Dude, I hit her one of these.
I hit in Johnny Rocket.
Yo, that's crazy.
But I have fake nutted though.
I have fake nuttered.
Sometimes you got to because if you feel the dick getting soft, it's better to fake nut than go soft in a girl.
Like, that's too embarrassing.
Yeah.
Y'all don't even know what that is.
No, no.
And sometimes I was just tired.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Like, I'm tired.
But you can't just call it off.
You can't just like, you know, eighth round.
Nah, their fucking psyche is going to be broken.
If you've done that to a girl, if I wanted to break a fucking psyche, so what I actually like and want to preserve it.
Did you give her a hug after?
Like, after you told her to call it off, like, do you feel bad?
No, this is Al, dude.
I can see him.
Most guys would be like, yo, this shit happens.
I'll be like, this never happened.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
You take the wheels and you need to.
You can come quick.
Start jerking off in front of her.
Like, oh, I got that.
I got it.
That's the worst.
If you're like, yeah, just let me take care of this.
Has it happened to you, Dub?
You ever get soft in a girl?
With the condom?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So I fake nutty.
You have to.
Let's see.
You're fake nut.
You first.
Nah, I asked you first.
Come on.
How you doing?
I went like this.
I went like this when I fake nutty ones.
I like push.
She's on top, obviously.
I push up.
I went, it's kind of like that.
It's karate.
You got to do a karate movie.
Yo, I'll hit it.
Hit it.
Hit it.
Let me see the face.
You got to do it.
A couple of body jerks.
That's good.
That's good.
That was nice.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Yeah, you got to go.
Yeah, that's fine.
That was convincing.
That was fire.
I thought you just came right.
I thought he got turned up by me.
The silence is where it's at, dude.
The silence, dude.
Put the audible sound on the third side.
Didn't even believe it.
A little stutter in the knees.
And then you got to fall down to the side.
You got to curse a little bit.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
And turn your back to them so you can take the condom on really quick and tie it up.
Run to the bathroom.
Run to the bathroom.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit.
We teach it to people at home, man.
Yeah, that's how you fake nuts.
Yeah, they need that.
All right?
They really do.
They need to do that.
Because sometimes y'all girls got gaping boxes.
Yep.
Oh, my God.
What?
Oh, my God.
And sometimes there ain't enough friction, bro.
Y'all wouldn't know, man.
Y'all really wouldn't know.
I wouldn't.
I don't get why you can't just level with them.
With all due respect, I'm assuming both of your wives don't have gaping boxes.
With all due respect.
All due respect.
I think that's what they do.
That's super respectful.
I don't know what you do with that.
They don't have respect.
No, they did that.
With all due respect, they don't have that.
That's wild.
They don't have that.
It wasn't due.
What do you want me to say?
The respect was due.
You think they got.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
I'm not going to say the opposite.
I know they don't got some fucking planters down there.
I know that.
Exactly.
You're not going to put a ficus.
You know what I mean?
There's no hampers.
Good girls.
With all due respect, I think it's same as your wife.
Yo, you know it.
Yeah, I think he's going to disrespect your wife or Al's future wife like that.
Al's future wife, definitely.
Yo, Al's future wife, man.
I completely respect you.
Come on, man.
They don't got boxes.
Nothing about the wives.
Yo, these girls, dovetails, be nothing inside up, bro.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why are you taking a shot of his hallways, bro?
Crazy shot.
Even fucking girls with vaulted ceilings is God damn.
They are woman and bitches.
You have sex with girls that are looser in their vaginas?
Not ideally no, but does that happen?
There's surprises sometimes, but no, and what does it feel?
Like just a Timberland.
Just go in there and it's like interstellar.
There's just this void, just nothing.
On the other side of the wall, dub.
You need to find a wife, bro.
Help, you need to find a wife.
He wants it bro, because he's getting close to where, if you're still single people oh oh yeah, he is an interesting point.
Guys get to a certain age if you're still single, but he gets enough pussy where.
Peculiar Things in the Homeland 00:08:18
I don't think that that's going to be questioned.
Conversation yeah, but never married.
You don't even have like divorce two times.
Maybe get divorced.
That could be good, like that, like tea time, tea time, just getting one divorce could be good for you.
Yeah, but no no, just go on some lovely dates any.
Uh, i'm tired of the chariot that he wants somebody long-term.
Yeah, he does all of them.
You never saw me in love, oh god, i'm so tired of this 23 year old love story.
Oh, and I was 17, i'm a son of love and I hadn't been able to recreate with anyone.
Let me tell you.
I'm gonna tell you that story when i'm 60, if I don't find that again.
This is, this is a path, guys.
But she wasn't Jewish, so you wouldn't have been able to deal with it.
She's the Non-Jew that the family would have accepted.
Wow, you sound like Al Bundy for sex.
Yeah, my high school.
Yeah, the high school.
Through four touchdowns in one game, damn bro, what was your?
I've been in love a few times.
Would you rather a hundred bodies or zero bodies?
The number, it's like if you threw a number like 40 40, 40 or something like that into the ballpark, 100 is crazy.
That's why that's a good hypothetical.
She's 32, I imagine, in this hypothetical, and I'll change the number.
It's 100.
Still son, he just said no to 32.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'll say that, but I would pick he look at her like 100 bodies.
No no, something's up, it's zero.
I'm going on respect.
Yeah yeah right right yeah, you have to pick another.
Okay, here's Al, you answer this one.
Would you rather um 50 black guys or or or or 75 Asian dudes?
Yeah, I know, have been with a girl.
You have to choose between two of them.
It's easy.
Now we have to adjust the numbers.
This is where it gets really fun, 300 Asian, like in Sparta.
What's the conversion rate?
What's the number?
25 black guys, Jamaican and Nigerian, whatever the other thing is.
You just pick.
Like, come on, son.
So so 25 or 100 white guys, 100 whites wow, change it up even more.
Change it up even more.
Seven black guys, but like baby, which blacks?
Because you were buried.
A thousand anything, you crazy, son.
That's like going up after Chappelle.
I'm good that, all right.
One Francis and Gano okay, that I could maybe do.
50 Asian dudes 50, yeah.
So now y'all see why white people feel that way.
Yeah wait, why?
Because you feel like.
You feel yeah, but y'all not Asian, but we still freedom.
Black dick.
We know what?
Black dick mucking about our women, destroying everything, ruining the neighborhood.
Nah, but Omgato is crazy, though.
I'm saying that's crazy.
That's a scary man.
Maybe he soft spoken while he fucking here.
Yeah, I know, too.
Give it the moment.
Give it the moment.
The whole thing was.
A lovable origin story.
Oh, no.
You can't even hate on them.
Yeah.
So isn't that crazy?
How do other ethnicities fit into the hierarchy?
Okay.
Okay.
Ready?
This is actually good one.
Okay.
45 Mexican dudes.
Okay.
All at once.
They're hard workers.
They're hard workers.
They're going to put in work.
They're going to eat pussy crazy.
Yeah.
45 Mexican dudes.
All in the same van, pulling up.
That's it.
Right?
They call your girl Home Depot.
That's chilling outside.
Everybody calls your girl Home Statue.
That's Zeek.
That's what everybody call your girl now.
Home Depot.
Yeah.
Yo, yeah, I do some of these.
Why is it always Michael?
Hey, what's going on?
Or 15 Dagestanis in an airport.
Oh.
15 angry airport Dagestanis.
They think your girl's Jewish.
No.
15 Dagestanis.
Destroying the home.
Thinking your girl's Jewish.
I'm going to go with them next week.
You have to, right?
You have to.
Yeah, yeah.
You think Dagestanis are good lovers, though?
I mean, I think they'll have you.
They'll, you know, they'll have top position.
I think they'll definitely get top position whenever they want.
And no stash, they probably eat box crazy.
Oh, they are mucking.
Yeah, they built for munching.
They're going for it.
Built for munching.
And are they circumcised Russians?
Have to be.
Right?
Muzzy.
Muzzy.
Wow.
Muzzy.
Yeah, have to be.
It's cold over there, bro.
Muzzy.
Wow.
I'm just saying, bro.
That was crazy.
That fucking airport shit was terrifying.
Yeah, that was.
Did you see the video of that?
Yeah, I like that the captain was like, please open the door.
And I was like, who's going to open the door?
The captain tell them not to open it.
Yeah, he's like, please don't open the door in any circumstances.
I was like, yeah, dude, it's the purge outside.
They literally look like that.
Yeah, that was wild.
I mean, there could have been a Dagestani on the plane be like, I'm pulling this slide.
Sleep or something?
Oh, he was inside the whole time.
Why would he be in Tel Aviv?
So if you guys don't know what we're talking about, there's this plane that flew, I guess, from Tel Aviv and had to stop to get refueled, I think, in Dagestan.
And then apparently the Daghestanians heard about it and they rushed the airport.
But like Chimp Empire stopped.
Like this shit was crazy.
Are you going to let us see that?
Are you letting me see that?
I think because they white.
I think because they white.
But they were there.
And the TSA was like, I ain't fucking with these motherfuckers.
Like, those guys are Dagestani too.
Yeah, but they know, bro.
That's how crazy.
They knew it, bro.
It was absolutely nothing.
UFC 294, seven of them fought.
Seven victories.
Bro.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
But they were in the homeland.
They got charge of for their powers.
But do we know what happened to the Jews from the plane?
I heard no one was injured.
Really?
I just don't know if it's an actual plane from Tel Aviv landed.
No.
Special Forces SWAT people came to.
And why did they land there?
Yeah, they didn't think that through, it seems.
And how did they know?
There's a lot of things going on here that are peculiar.
Yeah, who's following flight patterns?
Like, that seems suspect.
Right?
Let's get into the conspiracy.
Twist that stash, Mark.
What do you think?
Tell us to me, Mark.
What do you think?
Let's get that light going.
I don't know.
Maybe that's Dagestan though.
Maybe there's not that much going on.
And there's one WhatsApp group chat.
And they're just watching flight patterns.
And they're just watching anything that comes in.
There's nothing else to watch.
Eating bananas with their feet and watching flight patterns.
Wrestling bears, eating bananas.
What else do they do over there?
The only videos I see from Dagestan is them swimming in a cold water and then wrestling a bear.
So it's not crazy.
So if they hear a Jews coming to town.
Yeah, and they're going there to refuel.
Bro.
So what is the headline?
You know?
Oh, oh, what is the headline?
I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it, dude.
I'm not crazy.
And this time.
I think what Mark is trying to imply that they were gassing up the Jews.
I think that's what he's trying to apply.
You climbing too far, bro.
I'm just saying, it seems like that's what you're saying.
I think they heard it and they tried to pile on.
Oh.
That was a miscommunication from the newspaper, I think.
Oh, my lord.
I'm not positive exactly what happened.
Well, that should not happen.
You should stop doing that.
I agree.
They should stop doing that immediately.
I think we can push back against that.
I think we have unilateral support.
Yeah.
Unilateral.
Nice.
Yeah.
Did I use that word right?
I think so.
I'm 40, bro.
I'm 40.
I got vocabulary.
You know what I mean?
I'm 40, bro.
I'm Uncle Schultz, man.
I'm Uncle Schultz.
I'm 40.
People, this is what 40 is.
This is 40, bro.
This is what y'all got to look forward to.
Give your lucky.
This is what you get.
Remember when he told the congressman where we were going later that night?
Miscommunication from the Newspaper 00:04:16
Oh, yeah.
The congresswoman came to the dinner.
Yeah.
And I told her, I was like, yeah, if you guys want to come later, we're going to go to room 40.
And she was like, what's that?
I was like, room for these nuts.
What's up with that chicken parm?
Y'all want to share some of that chicken parm?
Bro, absolute haymaker landing.
A member of the government, bro.
It is what it is.
I told her she got to get Bill Maher with that.
Yeah.
All right.
She's going off on that.
The whole side of the table take it.
Oh, they were dying.
Charlotte was laughing.
The second I said room 40, Charlotte just go, he was falling apart.
It's so funny that he just can't get it down.
Like, bro, every time he said Tempson, it's the best.
It is the best.
And he has so much fun with it, too.
Yeah, we're just children at the end of the day.
Shout out to Charlotte.
He's on, what is it, Daily Show?
Daily Show.
Yo, Charlotte's on Daily Show this week.
Make sure you check out Charlamagne on Daily Show this week, man.
The fucking legend is doing it.
Go check that out.
All right, guys, we take a break for a second.
You already know what time it is.
You see the lights.
It's Blue Chew time.
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This is the one we're not going to backs out with.
Okay.
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Maybe she's already in your life.
Maybe she will be in your life in a month.
But what you need to do is provide the best dick possible.
You should do it now or 30 days from now.
But whenever you do it, you start that train with the most cabins?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
Train cars.
Cars.
Yeah, train cars.
Train cars with the most train cars in it.
Okay.
She's going to be chasing that dick for the rest of your life.
But you start it at the top.
Don't build your way up.
Start at the top and then slowly fall off.
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Now let's get back to the show.
We are back.
What else we got?
What else we got?
What is this?
This is my costume.
I have another costume.
What is it?
Obviously, I'm a gardener.
This is for gardening.
What is that for?
That's a hoe, right?
This is well, this is a smaller hoe.
It's a little hoe.
This was a little hoe.
And then this right here is a shovel.
It's a hand shovel.
And this is you scratch the earth, and then this is you shovel it up.
That's how you garden.
Nice.
Little chickety dickety.
Why do you need three costumes?
Yeah.
It was just Halloween.
I'm celebrating.
Being festive.
I'm a festive guy.
Do they have anything to do with each other?
I don't even know what you're talking about, dude.
Garden Tools and Halloween Costumes 00:14:55
Mark, I have no clue what you're talking about.
I don't even know what you're trying to suggest.
It's like there would be a link between all three of them.
Me neither, dude.
I'll be honest.
I'm trying to figure it out right now.
Can I take a guess?
I mean, you can guess.
Okay, I got it.
I got it.
Gotta go.
Gardner.
Gardners deal with roses.
Oh.
Roses have thorns.
Oh, okay.
Thorne.
SpongeBob.
Bob Thorne.
Billy Bob Thorne.
Billy Bob Thornton.
Billy Bob Thornton.
Whoa.
Billy Mazz and Bob Thornton.
Whoa.
Is that what you are?
Whoa.
No, but that's one of those things where it's like you added meeting afterwards and that meeting is fire.
But no, that's not what it is, dude.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
That was fire.
I don't know why.
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
I'm assuming.
I assume there's a game with this.
You think that the three costumes mean something together?
Yes.
I don't even know why you would go there with that.
Probably reading way too much into this.
Maybe he was just doing a little gardening.
Between the break.
Yeah, maybe.
I think in the future I'd like to garden.
What's on your gloves?
What the hell happened, bro?
Well, you know, gardening's a contact sport.
You dress like OJ?
I think that might be the situation right here.
No, no, it gets a little wild out there.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
You need protection for your hands, especially when you're gardening.
Respect.
Anyway, I don't know why you guys don't do more costumes.
You should take advantage of it.
You know?
Come on.
I mean, you got it.
I'm like the before.
He's after.
We got one.
Hacked out, Bala.
She had a couple's concerts.
Okay.
Listen, what do we got?
Do we got some feelers?
No facts.
No, We got Francis and Gabo with Tyson Fury.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unbelievable.
John Healing and amazing fight.
Amazing fight.
High-level boxing.
Shout out to Francis.
Unbelievable.
I mean, what this guy did is say again?
Okay, so let's go honest assessment of the scoring.
What did you think it was if just honest assessment?
Yeah, I said in the group chat, I thought it was 5-5.
And then with the knockdown.
With the knockdown, I guess I had it 6-4.
Tyson.
Tyson.
And then with the knockdown, I had him winning by one point.
Okay.
Sorry.
Who winning by one point?
Tyson winning.
Tyson won.
Yeah, he won 6'4, and then he's a 10-8 because of the knockdown.
Yeah.
So I had him winning by one point.
But I wouldn't have been mad at it the other way.
I think that's kind of how I had it.
So it's like, I think I had Tyson winning, but because Francis was coming from such a deficit, the fact that he closed that gap is the victory.
Yeah.
I don't know if the decision is awful when you really think about it because people were a little bit, there wasn't unanimous support for one decision.
There are people that thought Tyson won narrowly, and there are people that thought Francis won narrowly, and that's exactly what the scorecard showed, right?
But the judge who had it, like that was kind of crazy.
There was one that had a far, right?
For Tyson, right?
What the fuck?
It was like 96, 93 or something.
97, 93 or something.
There's no way.
How's that even possible with a 10?
Yeah.
I don't even know.
But Francis, I think the most impressive thing with Francis was the IQ.
Like his boxing IQ was insane.
Yeah.
Like he knew what Tyson was doing and he was a plan of attack to mitigate it.
And then after he did it, he was countering it.
So that knockdown that he got, Tyson throws.
Tyson has his great foot movement, great head movement, strong jab, but his main attack is a one-two.
He does a lot of pump fakes to get you off your rhythm and then he sets you up and then one-two.
Sometimes he'll come in with a hook.
Francis was waiting for the one-two and then trying to counter it that big hook, landed it, dropped him.
And an interesting thing happened.
Francis realized that Tyson couldn't hurt him.
He could walk through anything Tyson could throw.
Keep in mind, this is who I think is the greatest heavyweight of all time.
I've said on this podcast, Tyson Fury is the greatest heavyweight of all time.
So Francis went up against the greatest heavyweight of all time and almost beat him.
And if there's a rematch, if Francis knows he can't get hurt, he was walking through punches, walking through elbows.
Yep.
Yeah, the elbow is crazy.
Go like this, go like this.
You got a little bit of a damage.
I tried to go for the break.
No, can you just look at your phone?
Oh, gosh.
We got it done.
So it's like he's throwing serious shit, and Francis is walking through it.
And then Tyson knows he cannot walk through Francis' shit.
Yeah.
He got got.
And once that dynamic happens in a fight, now it's up to Tyson to really outbox him.
You got to move back.
You got to stick that jab and you got to score points.
You know, you can't knock him down.
That's what I thought he did.
He just scored points.
But think about that.
He's going in there going, I'm going to teach this guy a lesson.
I'm going to spark him.
He literally says when he starts the first round, he goes, Welcome to class.
And then when Francis knocks him down, he goes, What happened, Professor?
I've been amazing.
And there's a moment, I think, where Francis started to realize, oh shit, this isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.
I'm going to be all right.
Now, to be fair, Tyson came in sloppy.
It looks like he barely even had a camp.
He had no strategy whatsoever.
I don't even think he took the thing seriously.
No.
No, it's not worth making the what's it called?
Creating the caveat for him, of course.
And also, like, you're getting paid so much money from Saudi Arabia.
Like, they're probably overpaying so much to hold the fight there.
You show up in shape.
Yeah.
You show up ready and you put on a fucking show.
Like, it's if I'm Saudi Arabia, I mean, you had this amazing fight, but I'm also like, hey, dude.
Yeah.
I don't care if you don't respect your opponent.
Yeah.
I'm paying you crazy.
I'm paying.
You respect the pay I'm giving you.
Exactly.
Respect the payday.
Because you're not just doing a pay-per-view.
Yeah.
They're overpaying.
So the fight is there.
Yeah.
So it's like.
So the amount of money they must have paid.
Like, you know, they flew all those celebrities out there.
So I don't think a single celebrity.
All these champions waiting in the hallway just to give a dap to Tyson on his way to the ring.
Did you see that?
The amount of people.
The amount of people was insane.
It was like.
Mike Van Dolefield can't afford his own ticket out of two boxes.
Like Tyson, Connor McGregor, Cristiano Ronaldo.
Yeah.
Everybody.
Just those three is up.
Oscar de La Joya, Larry Holmes.
I mean, we've seen that since Mike Tyson.
Like whereas every fighter came out.
Marco and Tony Bright.
They had every champion in the last like 40 years there.
Yeah.
From all these different weight divisions.
It was unbelievable.
And I mean, they must have lost crazy money doing it.
But imagine, but what did they really win?
Yeah.
Like now we're looking at this as a destination.
Even the show that they put on, like, I don't give a fuck for music before sporting events, but I'm looking at it.
I'm like, this is a hell of a fucking show.
Like, these people are out here.
I think the perception of Saudi Arabia from the West is sand, oil, black cube.
That's it.
Now, I think through the whatever sports washing or any other things they're doing, I think they're building these nice hotels and stuff.
I think we're starting to go, oh, is this another version of Dubai?
Yeah.
Is this another version of the Emirates?
Oh, wow.
And they got enough money to fly every single person out there.
Oh, they got some bushy shit going on here and entertainment that I'd be into.
Sports washing works, yo.
Nobody's giving them credit for a brilliant idea, really.
It's not a great marketing.
Every state in America want a sports team.
That's true.
They're trying to wash their state.
I always thought Kansas City was just like booming Metroplex because I grew up watching football.
Then I go there.
I'm like, this is a country-ass town.
But the football team, they sports watched it into me thinking.
Even the North Korea needs, bro.
They need Noble needs a football team or something.
Bro, you get his three global isotopes, bro.
Imagine.
That's great.
Yeah, he's awesome.
So, yeah, so it was just a, I mean, the winner in this fight is, like, I think they need to fight again.
And Tyson needs to prove that he wasn't prepared for it and he needs to dominate him because it's a little bit of a knock on his legacy.
Again, I'm.
I was going to ask you, do you still think he's the greatest heavy guy?
I think he's the greatest of all time, but it is a knock on his legacy.
And what I would rather do is give Francis credit for his greatness than take away Tyson's.
Because if I go, he was never that good, that's an insult to Francis.
I'd rather go, this is the greatest guy.
And it just so happens this Francis Nganu guy that absolutely dominated the UFC is so fucking talented that he could dominate in boxing too.
You know what I mean?
Like if we cut the letters of your first boxing match, your first boxing match is against the greatest boxer in history.
And you potentially outbox him.
You knock him down once, but it's not like he's just going and throwing Haymakers.
He made Tyson afraid to throw.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tyson's the greatest boxer of all time.
He's not just a guy like Deontay Wilder who's got the nuclear fucking punch.
He sits you down.
It's over.
He will outbox anybody.
And you were right in front of him and he was afraid to throw.
Now, in fairness to Francis, wasn't he a boxer before UFC?
I mean, like, in the way that you learn boxing is one of the disciplines before you get into MMA.
He had a little background in it.
He has the background that I have.
It's like LeBron played football in high school.
Yeah.
And then you just go become a basketball player.
And to that end, I don't know how you can, and I love both of them, but I don't know how you can not take some credit away from Tyson.
Because if Tom Brady, the greatest football player of all time, played LeBron one-on-one and lost 11-9, I'd be like, yeah, I'm judging LeBron a little bit.
Like, that shouldn't happen.
I don't care how good Tom Brady is at basketball.
I'm judging you.
100%.
100%.
And I think that we try to justify it by going, oh, Tom wasn't taking it that seriously.
LeBron went to, yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
LeBron wasn't taking it that seriously.
Where in this circumstance, I'm like, this boxing, it ain't basketball.
Like, you got to take this shit person ahead and knock the fuck out.
So it's like, I know you were taking it seriously because you got dropped.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just got in my brain, the prep you didn't take seriously.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's where you come in and slop.
Sure, but at the same time, it's like you've been preparing since you were five years old.
Like Tyson doing 12 rounds, he can do with no training camp.
He's been boxing so long.
You can definitely give credit to Francis for sure.
I just think you also have to.
To me, it's like, I can't not look at, I can't look at Tyson as the greatest right now.
If they run him back and then he makes no problem, then it's like, all right, fine, this is all forgotten.
But right now, I'm looking at Francis, super impressed.
But I am also looking at Tyson like, yeah, really?
Greatest heavyweight of all time?
That's what my friend who knows boxing always says, but I'm looking at it as a guy who doesn't watch a ton of me.
I'm like, I don't know, man, that seems crazy.
I mean, there's only one person that I think could potentially beat him that has a chance, and it's Lennox Lewis because you need someone with the size.
I mean, Tyson's 5'9.
Mike Tyson at 5'10.
Sorry, Tyson is 6'9.
Mike Tyson at 5'10.
It can't.
The arms won't even reach.
It just can't.
It's too much.
6'9 can move, jab, throw punches, balance amazing.
What do you think of Francis doing other boxing matches?
I mean, go for the money.
What I want is the UFC to re-sim him and then give him the bag.
And then just be like, and I want him, no, no, and give him the bag, give him, the problem is they're not going to give him the bag and the freedom because then they'll have to do that with all the other fighters.
But I want him to go back and get the bag because then the UFC has the baddest man on the planet.
The baddest man on the planet we know right now is named Francis Nganu.
And that's no knock on John Jones, but John Jones just tore his peck.
He's out of the fight.
I'm also looking at this like, if I'm John Jones, I don't want to fight Steve Bay.
If I want to go down as the baddest man ever, which that's what everybody thought John Jones was before this fight, I got to fight that Francis Ngano dude.
And let me tell you something.
If Francis Nganu can maintain distance between 6'9 Tyson Fury and himself, I don't care who anybody else is.
You are not taking it lightly coming in for a shot on Francis.
Will John Jones out wrestle him?
Sure, his discipline is better.
But did you see the way that Francis was throwing Tyson Fury around the ring in the clinch?
Tyson never felt that in his life.
Every boxing match Tyson ever.
He looked a little surprised.
I was like, what the fuck?
Anytime they clinch up, usually what Tyson can do in a clinch, he's so big and so strong, he can just be imposing and lay on the guy and put a lot of fucking Francis was yanking him up, throwing him around, doing whatever he wanted.
And shout out to Francis conditioning.
Oh, I thought he was winded earlier.
He was phenomenal.
Yo, he was still.
He can't bag.
Yeah, I thought by like the fifth round, I was like, okay, I think Tyson got it now.
He's going to win every round.
And then it was like the eighth round where Francis was like, just going.
Wow.
This I did not expect.
What about Deontay Wilder Francis?
I think it'd be an amazing fight.
Everybody would watch it.
Francis injects interest and excitement into the heavyweight division.
Tyson had dominated so much that people stopped caring.
And now every fighter, Anthony Joshua, Francis Nganato, would be huge.
I would love to see that.
Do you think that matchup would be more equal in a way?
Like Deontay and Francis just because of power?
Yeah, but here's the thing.
If Francis boxes as well, here's the thing.
If Tyson couldn't hurt Francis.
Deontay is going to test that chip.
That's where I'm like.
Wilder's knockouts is so savage.
I'm like, it's hard to watch.
And Tyson landed.
That's my point.
Tyson is a better boxer, but Deontay might be a harder opponent.
That's the thing.
And you're 100% right there because Tyson did land.
Francis could walk through it.
And that's a problem.
I don't think you can walk through Deontay.
I don't think there's a human on this planet that can walk through Deontay.
So Tyson might be a better fight for Francis.
Anthony Joshua has a lot of pop.
Maybe that's a tougher fight.
But this specific one, where it was a guy whose power wasn't so dominant that he can't walk through it and his power is really effective, it might have been the perfect one.
But he's still in jet.
He has one more massive boxing fight if he wants.
He has two more.
He has a rematch with Tyson whenever you want, and we're all buying that in a fucking heartbeat.
If I'm him, I actually wait for that.
I go, fuck the, I go, I tell Tyson to say, fuck the Usik fight.
Hold off on the Usik fight.
Let's do another fight for your belt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the fight I want to see.
That is the fight I want to see.
And I want to see that rematch.
Yeah.
That's what we want to see.
I would love to see him fight Joshua, too.
Joshua, Deontay Wilder, I think, would be the biggest money fight because I worry for power.
It's power, and they're going to land and Deontay's going to throw.
God damn it.
And it's going to be mayhem.
It's going to be absolute mayhem.
Yeah.
But yeah, like heavyweight boxing to be this extent.
Who are you putting your money on?
Francis or Deontay?
I'd say Wilder.
Yeah, just based off of, in terms of winning, probably Deontay.
Wanting a Tyson Rematch 00:11:07
Really.
I think, yeah, I think Francis.
After what I saw from Francis, I think I coached Francis.
Dude, it's hard.
He was boxing.
He was boxing and he was defending and he saw the things coming.
Also, like, Tyson is way more difficult to prepare for than Deontay.
Deontay, you're watching one hand the whole fight.
Tyson, you got to watch everything, movement, faints, the whole thing.
So with a guy whose IQ is as impressive as Francis is, maybe he'll develop a game plan where he can, you know, handle that power.
And also, that's the thing with Francis.
It's like he's felt, I'm not saying MMA guys, MMA punchers punch his hardest boxers.
Clearly, they don't, but he's had four-ounce gloves hit him in the face as hard as possible.
Guys who have like boxing backgrounds, like Stipe, I think, was a golden glove shit.
Like he's boxed and he walked through it.
Once you walk through four ounces, you put them pillows on your hands.
It's crazy.
I thought the fight was going to have four ounce gloves.
That's what they initially were saying.
Yeah.
And when that didn't happen, I was like, well, this isn't even going to be fun.
But if there's four ounce gloves, Francis wins that fight in the third round.
It's over.
Oh, God.
Hit you in the side of the head with four ounce gloves.
It's over.
Yeah, yeah.
Tyson's out.
Most shocking result many of us ever saw.
And to be honest, I think he won the fight.
When that happened, I think we're all like, oh, he won.
Whatever happened.
He doesn't have to win to win.
Oh, yeah.
And that's the beauty of, I think MMA has injected that into us, where it's just like, sometimes you can win through losing or tying.
You know, it's Francis is just an insane human, also.
What a fucking story.
I mean, unbelievable.
This is kind of a sad thought, but I was like, man, are there other Francis that just couldn't make it here?
Couldn't make it to the thing.
Like, you are the GOAT.
There are these, and we like to think most of them make it through, but maybe not, dude, because Francis overcame everything to get here.
And he might be the greatest fighter, period, of all time.
Maybe.
Bro.
I don't know fighting, but if you can box like that, do UFC like that, like you might be the greatest fighter ever, period.
Yeah.
So there's probably other Francis, just we never saw them.
They're working on a movie right now.
They must, right?
I mean, fuck a movie.
I want a video game, bro.
I want to play his life on Xbox.
Like, you literally, you start as a kid, fucking do the mining shit.
Yeah.
Get on a boat, make to America, fight a little bit.
The last of us.
And the last is my family.
He's Last of Us, but real life.
Francis, as long as it's not a hypothetical for him fucking boxes.
That's the only thing I don't.
However, you look at Francis, be like, yo, you really have to fuck Francis, bro.
I get it.
I get it, dude.
I get it.
That's it.
All right.
So listen, while we talk about some sports, it's time to get them prize picks in, them Akash locks.
I actually heard the Akash locks came through.
Yo, I won last week.
And then this week, I did a, this is what's cool about prize picks.
I did a six-leg pick during the second half.
You can do second half picks.
So I did six legs while I was live streaming the Cowboy game, and I only got four of them.
Still made money.
Prize picks still paid me, even though two missed, which no other, nobody else to do that.
Normally, you pick mad shit, you lose.
And that's it.
That's it.
You're done.
I'm going to hit you with some NBA picks right now.
Okay, let me think.
They got Yusuf Nurkic.
He plays for Phoenix, seven and a half rebounds.
I got him doing more.
Okay.
I mean, you get more rebounds than that.
And then Donovan Mitchell, five rebounds against the Knicks.
Because it's the Knicks, I think there's going to be a lot of missed shots.
I'm going to go more there also.
So I'm doing more and more on this one.
Let me know how it works out for you.
Prize picks.
Also, use a promo code Schultz.
You'll get your initial deposit match up to $100.
It means you're putting $100.
You get $100 for free.
So you might as well just do it.
Respect.
Shout out prize picks, man.
All right, let's do some Philosophical facts, Mark.
Okay.
What's the prize pick on former NBA player, Joe Smith?
Bro, legendary promo for OnlyFans.
Yeah.
Truly.
Legendary.
So I think his wife has been a porn star.
And she goes, you know, my husband found out that I have an OnlyFans and he's upset.
And then he's in the background getting all upset.
But it is a great way to promote her OnlyFans.
I'm so fucking gullible.
You fell for it.
Yeah, I did.
Did you get it up?
Nah, I didn't, but she said she used to do porn and she hasn't since they've been married.
And it really just looks like they having money issues.
And she's like, yo, I got to do what I got to do.
Yeah, how much did he make in the NBA?
That's how I wanted to see his career.
That's the crazy thing.
This is the most disrespectful thing about this article I'm reading.
Literally the opening line.
Joe Smith, who made $61 million during his time at the NBA, was...
In the 90s, bro.
In the 90s and early 2000s, $61 million.
And today's dollars, it's like $200 million, probably.
Yeah, but if you're living that life, you could go through that.
You got to have a gambling addiction.
Yeah, I mean, like, you got to try to spend $61 million.
You could do it, but it takes work.
Like, gambling or like vacations, like spending $61 million and having no assets left is fucking hard to do without gambling.
And again, $61 million then is like probably like $200 million now.
Even if you buy a car, even if it's half the value, you still get half back.
You know what I mean?
$31 million.
Exactly.
If you want $61 million cars, you have $31 million.
Maybe he's a Bitcoin speculator.
Have you looked into that?
Have you seen his partner?
I was just looking at his Bitcoin speculation.
Are you guys in the same group chat?
You might have a little bit of a bunch of people.
I'm thinking about starting an OnlyFans.
Get my titties out there.
I mean, it is crazy, though.
But like, if he didn't know, there's no way that this guy's going years without knowing what his wife is doing, right?
No, they know it's all fucking put together 100%.
Yeah, at first, my thought was, I didn't watch the video, but I was like, oh, there's no, yeah, this is crazy, his wife, blah, blah, blah.
And then I was like, oh, they probably are in on this together.
Because it's just like him reacting in the background and you putting that online.
It's just like, I don't know.
It all is.
Great promo.
I want to see how well it's doing.
Matter of fact, we should check in on that.
All right, what else we got?
What do you think about this Kai Sinet jail stream?
Have you seen clips from it?
So I've never watched like a stream live, but I don't, I'm probably like most people, I've watched tons of clips from it.
Like it's amazing.
Like, God bless the people that are clipping out these streams.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they have to watch it.
And they have to watch it and edit it down to the fun shit for us to enjoy.
And I think Kai has been really transformative with the streaming where he like creates games out of it.
And like, I've seen certain people travel and certain people do these things and then everybody kind of repeats the same thing.
You know, it's like, I'm going to go to Japan.
It's like, okay, well, now I'll go to Japan.
And then everybody goes to Japan and then blah, blah, blah.
And it's like no real, nothing really unique.
But like, at least this scenario he's creating is truly unique within the streaming space.
He's creating a game out of it.
Yes.
And this guy's great, man.
He's reaping the rewards.
It's a really smart way of going about content.
Yeah.
Free Kai, man.
Hold your head, bro.
Hold it down, bro.
So what's the deal?
Is this a set or did they rent out an old jail?
I think they got an old prison to myself.
Oh, that's what it is.
It looks like an old prison or they got a movie set that was used.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, I'm sure LA has a prison set that is built in the exact same structures or whatever, like a prison to shoot all the shows.
Like, where was Oz shot?
Yeah.
You know, where was Shawshank shot?
Oh, probably there.
But it's great.
And then injecting all of the different famous people as well into it.
Bro, he makes prison look way too fun, though.
That's the problem.
That's kind of what prison is, bro.
I think that's what it is.
It's awesome.
Dude, I talked to a guy on my pod a week ago that said, if I could get laid in prison, I'd be there for the rest of my life.
Quote, verbatim.
He's like, everything's awesome.
You hang with your boys, low security.
It's just like playing cards all day.
It's like the only thing is female contact.
It's the only thing you miss.
There's no responsibility.
Completely remove the anxiety of personal accountability.
Yeah.
I bet if you gave them female contact, things would be way more relaxed.
Maybe.
A lot more, a lot less violence in the prisons.
You got to milk them.
Maybe you just milk them.
Yeah.
Oh, you like line them up.
You line them up.
Assembly line.
Exactly.
AI.
AI, I'm down for that usage of AI.
Just fucking hand jobs for prison.
Just mouse.
Drain them up.
But then what do you do with all of it?
Like all the samples.
That's actually a good point because you don't want to put it back out there in the world because then you're just making more felons.
So, yeah, what do you do with that?
Protein shakes or something?
I guess you could.
I guess you could put it back in a diet.
Maybe you can feed it to pigs or something like that.
Don't they eat like weird stuff?
Yeah, yeah.
I bet you put it in the soil.
You can't do it.
It's all motherfucking beanstalk.
You know, the points where it's like crazy loads of cum and chill like that.
You know, repurpose it.
Oh, use it as like a prop, prop cum.
Yeah, prop cum.
It could be prop coming.
Or an OnlyFans thing.
Yeah.
That actually would be kind of funny.
But I fucks with, I like it, man.
I like it.
What's the feedback been with it?
Positive?
Have there been haters?
I mean, always.
Some people saying this is, you know, the Stanford prison experiments.
They're like, this could go that way, whatever.
This glorifies negative stereotypes, blah, blah, blah.
But that guy's making content.
He's not trying to change the world.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's an unfair expectation.
Yeah.
You see DeSantis get dragged for wearing lifts?
Bro, this picture is so funny.
DeSantis 2024.
Yeah, I was just going to say, Al.
Can I say something?
What were you wearing yesterday?
Because you were 6'4 yesterday.
No, it seems just.
Stop it, bro.
I was just standing up straight because I had a tight shirt on, so I can't slouch.
I usually slouch.
Al.
I have a tight shirt on.
I stand up straight.
You were 6'4 yesterday.
I swear to God, it was these same exact shoes, bro.
You must have had something in them as well.
No, I swear to God.
Al, you are 6'4 ⁇ .
I was just standing up straight, nigga.
No.
Like, that's it.
Damn, bro.
Damn.
Damn, bro.
That was crazy, bro.
You feel like I'm tapping into something, right?
But these.
That's it.
If I stand up straight, it gives me an extra inch.
I don't think that's...
That's just boots, yo.
Come on.
He's just trying to get the Texas vote.
No, there's another one that's more incriminating.
Where they draw it out?
It's a different way.
He's sitting down.
That's that one.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a little dark, though.
That's the only thing.
Fuck.
It's a little sketchy, bro.
Yeah, you need it to be lighter, but it is bad.
It's a little sketchy.
There's a diagram right here.
Let that man live, bro.
Is that false advertising?
What do you think?
I mean.
Have you seen him walk?
They're politicians.
He walks onto the Bill Maher show, and it's very interesting.
No.
A little wobbly.
Let me see.
All right, I'm going to pull it up.
I mean, he was a fighter pilot, right?
I think that's what he did.
No, I think he did Guantanamo stuff.
I would look into seeing that.
I thought he was a fighter pilot.
Lost my vote.
It can get rough for me.
Hold on.
Because if he's a fighter pilot, he's short.
Why?
They're all struck.
You have to be to fit in the cockpit.
Oh, really?
It's a small thing.
Oh, so you calling Tom Cruise short, bro?
Yo, son.
He's going to get you.
Don't disrespect my God.
Just say you said it.
Peace be upon him.
Peace be upon him.
Yo, peace be upon Maverick, bro.
All due respect.
Yeah, all due respect.
This is a little suspect, dude.
Can we get a.
Can we get the board, but it don't get the hue or the brightness?
Yeah, I don't like so dark all of a sudden, bro.
Come on, man.
We got to fix that.
People are holding strong on that hairline, bro.
That hairline hasn't budged.
Did he pivot right?
Legislating Around Social Issues 00:04:40
He's just, I think he's more central.
My long, like, distant view or whatever, it seemed like he always hated religion, but liberals thought he was only talking about white religions.
And they were like, yeah, that's our guy.
And then he was like, no, all religions.
I don't like Islam either.
And then the liberals were like, oh, fuck you.
You're a hate monger.
You're not who I thought you were.
And then I asked a liberal about that and he was like, well, I just don't think you should punch it down, which I thought was the most racist thing you could possibly say.
Which is like, well, the Muslims are beneath us.
You can't hit them.
I thought back in the day used to be like far left.
He was like super liberal.
Back in the day, that was like, I smoke weed and it should be legalized.
Being gay is okay.
That should be legalized.
They should get married.
And Christianity is dumb.
That was like, you're a liberal.
And now being left has shifted more into the gender politics.
And I think that he's rejecting gender politics and then like wokeism.
So like you can't make offensive jokes or we have to be really sensitive about everything.
And I think that shift he's pushed back on.
There's like a, it's really funny.
When we were in the Netherlands, I think we spoke about this on the pod, but like the Netherlands, they don't have any like religion doesn't play any role in the laws that they create.
Right.
We spoke about this, right?
And because of that, they can choose the lesser of two evils, right?
Like they can decide both of these things are wrong, but we'll choose this lesser wrong thing, for example, making prostitution, prostitution legal because that stops human sex trafficking.
So like this will be wrong, but it's less wrong than this other thing.
And then we'll create laws around it.
And they're really struggling right now when it comes to woke shit and gender identity politics.
They were the most progressive.
They were like, back in the day, there's this massive gay parade that the whole city comes out for, the whole town, everybody celebrates it.
Because in their very literal minds, they're just going, well, yeah, if you're gay and you like someone else, that's not hurting anybody.
There's no net negative on society.
Like, yeah, it's legal.
Let's make it legal.
That's fine.
And there's no God telling me that this is wrong.
So I'm just going off of the car facts.
And the car facts is this doesn't hurt anybody.
Everything's fine.
And now they're grappling with 70 different genders and they're like, but this doesn't make sense.
So they've went from the most progressive to seemingly conservative about certain issues.
But they were never progressive.
They were just mathematical.
Just practical.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
It was just they was pure logic and they didn't have a religious influence on the laws.
So it's, I think they're having a little identity crisis because they're like, wait, I thought we were the progressives and we're so forward thinking and we're the most profound and advanced culture in Europe.
And now we're getting looked at as bigots because we don't believe in 70 different genders.
It's kind of interesting how like, yeah, gender politics can expose what the real motivation for your laws is.
And theirs was never let's accept everybody.
Theirs were like, this makes logical sense.
Yeah.
I still like that better.
I think, and I think that's probably where most people are with it, if I'm being honest.
Like, I think most of us are like, yeah, if you're not hurting anybody else, do your thing.
And as long as it's logical.
It makes complete sense that some people are attracted to the same sex.
Like, that's not a thing to me.
But when I've taught my whole life, there's only two genders and now three.
Okay, cool.
When you get to, I think there's like 108 is the most reasonless I looked at.
It's like, well, now I'm not, I'm a little confused.
Yeah.
It still ain't hurting nobody, do you think?
If you want to be an octopus, be an octopus.
Yes, until you get into like the reassignment surgery when they're younger.
And that's where things start to kind of spiral.
Like putting them on puberty block puberty blockers or hormone blockers.
And I think that's where people can potentially get hurt.
And I think that's where if you're a very literal state like the Netherlands, you're going, okay, I think this could potentially hurt somebody.
So we have to legislate around it.
It also seems like parents are just afraid of like the social contagion.
Like, is this something that my kid would want to be interested in?
Yeah.
Even if they're not.
I don't know if that fear is founded.
I don't know if there's like a social contagion.
So they're worried about them doing shit to their genitals when they're young, but they can snip their dick off when they're a baby and they don't care.
They don't get a say in that.
Now we're talking.
See?
Now we talk.
Oh, but I agree with you.
Yeah.
I think we should stop snip tips.
Yeah.
I think that that's a, I think there's a very compelling argument for that.
Yogurt, Estrogen, and Yeast Infections 00:05:43
And you can get yours restored.
There is a there's foreskin like restoration surgeries.
Word?
Yep.
Can you pick the color?
Yep.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you want two tone?
Yeah, I have a little frost.
You go ice the tips.
Yeah, I see that.
That episode of How To Wn Wilson?
No.
At the end of one of the episodes, the episode ends with him talking to a guy who is like big on getting your foreskin back and lengthening it.
And he sells this product where you can clip it on your foreskin and it puts weight on it.
So it brings back down.
And then the end of that episode is just nuts jump scare to a man with a device on his penis that is just insane.
It's a great UB watches.
Shit.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Oh, you can get it right here, bro.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let it go, dude.
Not that.
What you can get it back.
Guy, next topic.
Restore your penis.
Next topic, you're about to have life.
Next topic.
Oh, you're just joking all of a sudden.
Come on, dude.
Get the skins back.
Next topic.
Stop clipping our boys.
Come on.
Get that shit off the screen.
All right.
Famous streamer, and I believe I think she's just a streamer.
I don't know if she has OnlyFans.
She's a streamer that's basically her name is Amaranth.
She's the one that sold the tub water.
You remember this?
Vaguely.
She was like, took a bath and then started selling the bathtub water by the cup and sold out, made millions of dollars, some bathtub water.
Okay.
She just created a beverage, a beer made out of her vaginal yeast.
I'll try it.
Okay, this is too quick.
These women are.
You don't even want to see any.
I'd like to see what she looks like.
Yeah.
I don't know if you know who you signed up for, dude.
Well, let me see it.
Yeah, I'll try.
Yeah, yeah.
So apparently, wait, is that cheating?
Eating another girl's pussy?
Well, that's what that's not what we said.
You're drinking another girl.
Well, drinking a beer with the boys.
No, you're sharing the girl's pussy with the boys.
Because that is her pussy yeast.
Also, wait, is that are women supposed to have that?
I thought that was a bad thing.
Yeah, it's like an infection if you have yeast.
I think you have a little.
So she has to cook up an infection.
Are you supposed to have a little bit, Miles?
Yeah, I think you're supposed to have yeast.
Just a regular amount.
Yeah, and then when it's infected, that's a yeast infection.
But you have it there all the time.
But if you have too much yeast, then it's bad.
I thought a yeast infection is an infection of pussy.
How much yeast she got, yo?
Yeah.
I don't think a girl should have yeast in her pussy, dude.
That's disgusting.
Yeah.
I think you do.
I think they do.
I'm about to look it up.
But is that cheating?
I don't think so.
Oh, yeah.
I don't think so.
Your vagina naturally contains a balanced mix of yeast, including candida and bacteria.
So why do they want us eating that shit?
Right?
We don't go by yeast.
It's good for the immune system.
I guess.
Good for digestion.
Yeah, but put some turmeric in there.
I don't want no fucking yeast and bacteria and whatever else you said, candida.
Yeah, but yogurt has that.
You eat yogurt.
I don't.
For that reason?
Yeah, that shit is whack.
Y'all eat yogurt?
Sometimes.
Yogurt is good.
I do.
Gogurt's good.
I don't do it.
Flavor yogurt.
Fantastic.
Also, y'all got to stop eating go-gurt, bro.
Why?
Gogur salva starts.
Gogurt sauce.
Gogurt is always starts.
I said, no, I said yogurt.
I said to him, Gogurt is selling.
I say go-gurt.
I enjoy go-gurg.
Yeah, it's just too, it's come on.
Gog-gurts, come on.
No dude.
Just do that real quick.
Just squeeze a go-gurt in your mouth.
Panama.
How is it gay?
I mean, it's not gay.
I only eat two at a time.
It starts.
I only eat two go-gurts at a time.
Like that?
Yeah, I go like that, dude.
I just fucking suck them down.
Y'all got to chill with.
Honestly, yogurt in general, bro.
That's a big issue.
That's affecting a lot of people.
What about a danimel?
The animal's nice.
What is that?
Never had a danimal?
It's a delicious yogurt drink.
So it's like it really did get out that.
It's like a yogurt, but it's a little more liquid in this in a small tiny bottle and it only refills you like a little bit.
It's the small team.
So there's all I know of is Dannon and the Canyon.
These colleges?
What are you talking about?
Can you fit this dick in your mouth?
Fuck, dude.
Damn it.
Yeah, he's stupid.
He almost said what, but you beat it to it.
I'm going to give you the yogurt in your sleep.
Don't fall asleep around me.
No, bro.
You got to be sucking.
I'm telling you, I mean that for real.
Yogurt is a real problem with young males.
It's a gateway to gay.
It's not gay.
It's a gateway.
But it does feminize you.
I think it's really the cause of trans.
That's the pipeline.
I'm being dead serious, bro.
Yeah.
It has a lot of estrogen in it.
Is that true?
Look up the amount of estrogen in yogurt.
He's like, I'm going, boy.
Do the fats out there.
Soy milk and yogurt are excellent foods, high in estrogen.
Wow.
Yeah.
I mean, y'all knew it.
When you eat it, you don't feel like a man.
That is true.
Yogurt is so fucking feminine, bro.
That's why you go Duke Gogre is less gay.
That's less about gay.
It ain't about being gay.
It's turning you into women, bro.
Greek yogurt.
What about it?
That's got more protein.
I ain't gonna lie.
Greek yogurt is a little bit less estrogen.
Yeah.
But that shit that y'all eat is full of estrogen.
Even the one if it has a little fruit on the bottom?
No, that actually cuts away.
That shit is fire.
That does cut away.
If you have fruit on the bottom, that takes all those things.
Yeah, tiny little carfait or something.
If you throw some granola in there, you'd be good.
Because the granola will soak it up.
Yeah, you gotta add some nuts to it.
It's with the testosterone.
It's like you have to.
Bro, this was the only yogurt my mom bought growing up for my whole life.
You ever fatty?
Greek Yogurt Is Feminine 00:05:28
Yeah, I think you might be right, bro.
Because I've been drinking this since I was a little kid.
Yeah, but she didn't have the 0% milk fat.
We know y'all.
Wait, what?
How are you saying that?
How are you saying it, bro?
How are you saying it?
Is that respect?
No, no, with all due respect.
With all due respect.
I almost got fucking pissed off with all due respect.
I almost got fucking limited.
There's no way in hell.
Your mom's just total 0% milk fat into that.
I feel you're saying it.
No, with all due respect.
I just had a lot of people.
That was not refreshing.
Ain't no way.
Ain't no way.
I got no problem with that.
With all due respect.
With all due respect.
You know what I mean?
My mom just became an American citizen with her big titty half an ass.
She doesn't comment on your post.
Somebody comment and goes, the heavies are ours.
That's all.
That's funny.
That's funny.
You wrote that, Mark.
I would never.
With all due respect.
I would never write that, bro.
With all due respect.
This is awesome, dude.
We need more entrepreneurs, more female entrepreneurs.
And this is a good example of ways you can create products for your audience.
We could do something like this.
We should.
I can't try it, though.
That's cheating.
I can't deny it.
I'm a fucking rider.
No, we got to try that.
All right.
One more.
One more.
What y'all think about our boy Dwight Howard?
Free him, bro.
He's free Dwight.
He didn't do nothing wrong.
Free love, dog.
Free Dwight.
Yo, did y'all see Mason's reaction?
Yes.
Yo, shout out to Mason Cameron, man.
I mean, they're just fantastic.
Then they're having a time in their lives.
I really enjoy it because that's what I like coming here doing with y'all.
Yeah.
Is just coming here and fucking laughing at how ridiculous we all are.
Yeah.
And you can see the joy from Cam when Mace starts to go off on a rant.
And he's just like, I know this motherfucker my whole life.
This guy is so goddamn funny.
And when he started doing the thing about, listen, we got to be honest here.
We say all this time, I don't care what you do in your free time.
I don't care what you do when you're by yourself.
We do care.
Stop lying.
Stop lying.
We do care.
We do care, Delwight.
He called him Del White.
I did not know Mace was that funny, bro.
This is the best thing for Mace.
I knew Cam was funny, but I didn't know Mace was this funny.
That shit was hilarious.
He's like, bro.
He has bits.
He has bits.
He goes, they're asking if it's consensual.
A surprise is never consensual.
Yo, it's like a funny line.
Because that's what the guy is, I guess, saying he's like, he surprised him.
Someone's in the closet and they pop down, surprise him.
And he goes, a surprise is never consensual, Dwight.
That's the point of a surprise.
Like, bro, just.
So you just can't have a guy pop out in a leprechaun car.
It's like, what?
Nah, it's fantastic.
Go check it out.
Anybody on the team, please hit them up.
We would love to have a bunch of people.
Yeah, we need Mason Cam, bro.
We need Mason Cam to come by flavor.
And Dwight, for that matter.
Can we get Dwight on?
Yo, we need Dwight.
Shout out to Dwight.
Superman.
Do your fucking thing.
Do your thing, Dwight.
Do your thing.
We saw Dwight Burning, man.
Exactly.
And let the record show he was with women the whole time.
Passion tips, probably.
Miserable.
Miserable.
It's a desert, bro.
It's funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, now we got to have Dwight on.
We got to talk about all this shit.
You was swapping blunts with him, right?
Swapping Switch?
No.
You sure?
Wait, you shared a blunt with him?
Yeah, I think he talked about it on the podcast.
Yeah.
I remember you talking about you was like going passing it back and forth.
No, what?
He was like, damn, you get smoked out.
What are they talking about?
I want to say, do whatever you do because it's your life and it's nobody else's business.
That's true.
And we shouldn't care.
Thank you.
But I care that you were swapping out.
Bro, he's Superman.
Superman passed you a joint.
What are you going to say?
At that point, he was Superman.
Now he's the gay guy.
Allegations are still there.
We don't know anything.
Yo, first of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I want him to double down on that shit.
Yeah, I agree.
Tell us he was smoking out Chinaman when he was over there in Taiwan.
Love it.
Love it.
We would love that.
Just be real.
Yo, come, we accept you.
Alex gonna let you crack back, Chase.
Come on, yo.
No, you milk.
Yo, let him make some espresso out of you, bro.
Nah, nah.
He's gonna flick your beam.
He's gonna flick your little hero.
But you have your nails painted, bro.
Don't matter.
He likes guys like you.
He doesn't want girly shit.
Yes, he does.
He wants a man's man.
He likes a guy like Al, bro.
He wants a man's man.
Nah, you can tell he's a milkman.
He's a milkman.
He wants that mark at.
Nah, he wants an espresso, bro.
What about both of y'all?
What about a little latte?
Oh, he would love that.
Pop out.
Let's go.
We got you, Dwight.
Anyway, yo, go check out It Is What It Is Man.
They're fucking great.
Guys, thank you so much for tuning in, watching.
Appreciate you, and I appreciate all the birthday wishes.
Thank you very much for that.
Means a lot.
And we'll see you guys on Patreon Friday.
Beace.
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