Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Russel Brand Allegations, Hasan Minhaj Made Up Stories, & Deion Sanders Saved College Football

Sept. 19, 2023 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh

01:57:50

Russel Brand Allegations, Hasan Minhaj Made Up Stories, & Deion Sanders Saved College Football

# sexual assault allegations russell brand political corruption celebrity marketing comedy ethics cultural appropriation deion sanders dick cheney donald trump drake f 35 fighter jet george w bush hallie berry hannah gadsby hasan minhaj hunter biden jussie smollett

Hasan Minhaj, Russell Brand, and Deion Sanders dominate this episode as hosts dissect Minhaj's fabricated trauma narratives versus comedic exaggeration, debate Brand's grooming allegations despite evidentiary hurdles, and analyze Brand's cultural appropriation claims. They contrast raw wedding love with structured Catholic rites before shifting to Deion Sanders' gravitational recruiting power and Drake's calculated marketing controversies involving Hallie Berry. Finally, skepticism surrounds a hacked F-35 jet and Hunter Biden's gun charges, which the hosts dismiss as minor compared to systemic corruption, ultimately arguing that public perception often ignores personal failures in favor of political charisma. [Automatically generated summary]
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Minhaj's Emotional Truth 00:14:22
	What's up everybody?
	Welcome to Flagrant and what a weekend for theatrical comedians.
	Some very interesting news comes up about our boy Hassan Minaj Minhaj.
	Minhaj, I think, yeah.
	How do we even know?
	How do we even know that that's how he pronounced it?
	I think that we get to decide what the truth is.
	I think that his name is 70% emotionally true.
	But the Arnold Palmer that is his last name, the Arnold Palmer that is his last name, we're not exactly certain on.
	So I think it's something you just flow with and you go with.
	You know what I mean?
	The actually annoying thing about Hassan, you're going to get these fucking jokes.
	You deserved it.
	But I like Hassan.
	He's a charming guy.
	Nice dude.
	He's always been nice to me, but you deserve this.
	But the crazy thing about the whole situation with him lying in his specials or about the stories in his specials is that if you know his real life, he has like these, he has these insane things that have happened to him, like completely separate.
	Like when he came to America, it was on a boat with a tiger.
	Really?
	Did you guys know?
	Dude, I had no idea.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It was actually, yeah, he was like lost at sea and it was him and a tiger on a boat.
	And they like forged, they forged this like real friend.
	That's crazy because that, okay, that's a good idea.
	Why not tell that story?
	That makes perfect sense.
	Tell that story.
	That makes perfect sense because the tiger, before he came here, I know he grew up in a jungle.
	Like a bunch of animals raised him.
	Like he got to speak to them.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Dude, it was like a bear saved his life.
	And the tiger, he must have made good with tigers because the tiger was a real enemy.
	They should make a movie on his life.
	Honestly, they could.
	Dude, he told me this one story about like going to White Castle with his Asian friend.
	And it was like, it was one of the most unbelievable stories I've ever heard.
	It was like so many shenanigans.
	Shenanigan's Galore.
	It was shenanigans galore.
	And I'm like, why not do that?
	Tell the thing about how he really made his money.
	He won Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
	Fuck, I forgot about India.
	And just talk about that.
	That's how he met his wife.
	What an amazing life experience.
	Yeah, dude.
	That you can play off of.
	Anyway.
	Anyway, so many things out there.
	But listen, tons of material for him to still mine.
	For all of you that are confused right now, news has come out.
	There's a New Yorker article that Hassan Minhaj may have been fabricating some things in his Netflix specials.
	Wait, but Andrew.
	Yes.
	Comedians make up stories all the time.
	That's true.
	Now, usually we do it to make things funnier.
	Yeah.
	Not make things more racist or sad or emotional.
	Yeah.
	And I think that's the tricky thing here with like in his stories.
	It's not like he was using these exaggerations or hyperbole as punchlines.
	He was using them to kind of make the audience feel worse about him.
	And then it turns out these things didn't actually happen.
	Yeah, he made life worse for other people in real life.
	Oh, wait, how is that?
	Have you, you know, the prom story, right?
	What's the prom story?
	Prom story, the homecoming king is based on this story that he was supposed to go to prom with a white girl, got to the door, she's putting a corsage on another guy, a white guy.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because her parents didn't like the fact that Hassan was Indian.
	And that's a terrible, terrible story.
	Yeah.
	Blady responds.
	I know that, page.
	Blady responds and is like, not only is this not true, he asked me days before the prom, I just said no.
	And not only are my parents not racist, I'm married to an Indian.
	But here's the thing.
	And this is like, this is the problem when you lie in your specials.
	It's like that girl had to marry an Indian so that people wouldn't think she was.
	Just to safe face, dude.
	Yeah, just to save face.
	By the way, Hassan actually helped Indians.
	He did.
	Yeah.
	He might be a hero.
	The ultimately.
	He's a patriot.
	I would say got to marry an Indian.
	Yeah, you would say got to.
	You would say got to.
	Right, right, right.
	But the rest of us would be like, oh, here's what you got to put in on this.
	You should do that for Indian people.
	Because that's the first thing she says.
	She's like, I'm not racist.
	I married an Indian.
	She had to fucking do it because he bullied her into it.
	But I do like this idea that if a girl rejects me, she's racist.
	Because there's a lot of racist brown girls that I didn't know were.
	I see this girl because he's handsome.
	Hassan is handsome.
	He is.
	He is a handsome man.
	Gray fucking hair.
	We have to look at this girl.
	She might be racist, bro.
	She might be ugly enough where she's racist.
	Or we got to see what this white dude that she went to prom looked like.
	I think we need to do a little research.
	I think we need to do a little research.
	I think we might have to defend Hassan.
	He might be right about that one.
	She might have been racist.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Got it.
	Bro, I need to have that level of confidence, bro.
	Where if you don't like me, you're racist.
	The only way you could not like me.
	Don't you wish I wish you had that?
	She got to be fat.
	She got to be fat.
	This girl got to be fat.
	There's no way that she's a cutie.
	Because he got to think he's doing her a favor.
	And then when she says no, he's like, oh, this bitch racist.
	Yeah, but why say I went to the door?
	You didn't go to the door.
	This was crazy.
	He told me that story.
	Like, that's the most Indian thing.
	I'm here for a vagina and bob.
	No, no, show up.
	We just text you nicely.
	Wait, hold on.
	He told you the story in real life.
	Yeah, like we were cool a long time ago.
	I'm talking like 2012, Brent.
	He and I used to be friends.
	I kind of realized whatever.
	But this, I didn't know this was a lie.
	I thought all the reasons I don't fuck with this guy, this wasn't one of them.
	We're sitting at a fucking diner and he tells me this story as a trauma story.
	I'm dead ass.
	I believed it this whole time.
	He was working it out.
	I killed him, son.
	That's the craziest shit.
	We're just eating in and out, bro.
	Why you got to lie to him anymore?
	You know what?
	You probably said something like, you went to their house?
	And he's like, yeah.
	And he was like, I got to keep that part.
	That was good.
	So he said, I guy got to the door.
	This is then he joke to get me on his side.
	Obviously, he's like, so you can't trust white women.
	And I was like, yeah, dog, that makes sense.
	But I will be honest, I remember when he said what his parents, her parents said to him, it's just not a good fit.
	And then I remember being like, that, okay, well, your parents would say the exact same thing.
	It's just not a good fit.
	Like, this is what your parents would say that more.
	Your parents would be like, what the fuck are you thinking, man?
	This is not a good fit.
	She's not the same country, not the same race, not the same faith.
	What's going on?
	That's not a good fit, Matt.
	In Congress.
	Yeah.
	So I do remember thinking that.
	And then now he's happily married.
	Happily married?
	Which probably wouldn't have happened if he was with that white girl.
	Yeah.
	White devil.
	And that white devil's now married to an Indian.
	Miserable.
	Right?
	So this ended up working in his favor.
	It turns out lying kind of works for him.
	Lying's awful.
	No, but I think one of the things that we have to really separate is there are comedians that plenty of us, all of us, exaggerate things in our jokes.
	To be funny, yeah.
	Or change things.
	That joke I did, the not fuck me joke.
	I tell, I was at a hotel with my boy and blah, blah, blah.
	That didn't happen in a hotel.
	We were at Veselka and Case and one of our friends.
	Case goes, yeah, I go, yeah, you can just crash at my place if you want to go home.
	And he goes, yeah, but we can sleep head to toe or put the pillows.
	And I was like, yeah, or you can not fuck me.
	In the joke, it's funnier to just make it in a hotel.
	Absolutely.
	So we changed these things to make parts of the joke funnier.
	It's a completely different thing.
	It's Jussie's Malay when you are lying about victimization.
	Yeah.
	So I don't like it when people are starting to target other comics who have things that aren't exactly true in the story.
	This is not comedy.
	He's not lying about the funny part.
	If he was, like if he found a way to anthraxing the daughter thing is Chris.
	I mean, what is that?
	What is that?
	In retrospect, it's funny as hell.
	Knowing that he was lying about that.
	The idea that this guy wasn't the funniest, there's pure comedy in this space.
	Actually, every part is funny.
	If you realize none of it is true, the whole thing is hilarious.
	This is the greatest comic ever, I think.
	Bro, but think about he got to do the, what is it called when you make fun of the president?
	White House correspondence dinner.
	Yeah.
	Off of lies.
	Like, that's crazy.
	No, but getting sent anthrax levels you up because they only send that to important people.
	To the boss.
	That's a flex.
	That was a dope move.
	Hell yeah.
	And What's His Face got a shot too?
	He said, so he conflated some timelines to make what he went through a little bit more serious.
	He was making fun of, I think, the Saudis or something.
	I had less of an issue with this, actually.
	Oh, that's fine.
	That's fine.
	I'm just telling the people.
	So I guess one of the stories, he was like making fun of the Saudis.
	And then he had a meeting because he wanted to interview MBS, who's Mohammed bin Saleem, I think his name is.
	He is the guy who runs the Saudi, what is that?
	The PIF, it's called, or PLF.
	All their money, all their fun, makes all their decisions.
	He's boss.
	And he went to go meet with them.
	And then I guess he left.
	And everybody was freaking out because he said the same day, Khashoggi was chopped up at the Saudi embassy in Turkey.
	Right.
	And people are going, oh my God, is everything okay?
	And he said something about the meeting or the event that night that Jared Kushner sat in a seat that was reserved for this Saudi journalist, right?
	And like, apparently, Jared Kushner didn't even go to the event.
	Yeah.
	Like it was just a complete, it was just a shot at Jared.
	There was no chair for him.
	There was no chair.
	Yeah.
	So there was just a shot at Jared for no reason.
	And to your point, the lie there was to make it to be funny.
	It was to make himself a hero.
	And then a lot of the other lies, to kind of add to what you said, I think they're to kind of like push, I don't want to say an agenda, but to push a political agenda for lack of a better way to say it.
	Whereas if you are lying just to be funny, if the whole Burt Kreiser machine story was fake, I don't, none of us think it is.
	But if it was, who cares?
	It's hilarious.
	We're just laughing at Burt Kreiser.
	That would break my heart.
	It would shake your confidence.
	It would break my heart.
	If the machine story wasn't real.
	You've been calling the machine this whole time for no reason.
	No, I wouldn't care.
	I'd be so happy with it.
	I'd be more impressed that you can make up that whole ass story.
	I thought it was fake.
	Come on.
	It was real, man.
	I thought it was just a made-up story for a comedy.
	And he still loved it.
	Yeah.
	Hold on, hold on.
	You saying if Burt never went to Russia, that wouldn't bother you a little bit.
	It would actually bother me a little bit.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, a little bit.
	A little bit.
	A little bit.
	I was using hyperbole to prove a point.
	That was my emotional truth.
	That was my emotional truth.
	That was not being emotional.
	You were being emotional right there.
	That's beautiful.
	I really want to appreciate that.
	I want to reward that.
	Now, here's the thing.
	If some of the things said within the story have been tweaked a little bit to be funny, if he makes the Russian person say something funnier, you're doing your job.
	Yeah.
	As a comedian, that's great.
	There's no way that every single story a comedian says when the comedian says the perfect witty thing back, that that happened in the moment.
	Because most comedians are awkward as fuck in the moment and they're not going to come up with that line.
	And that's why they'll go home and they'll sit in the shower for an hour and think about what they would have said.
	And then that pops up in the gym.
	That's why I just want to separate this from comedy.
	I hate that this is like getting pulled into there.
	People are bringing up hilarious jokes.
	The Chappelle baby joke.
	It's fucking hysterical, which we all know is sarcasm, which we all know isn't a real thing.
	It's used to point out things that might be real.
	But people go, oh, see, you can lie there.
	You can lie.
	No, no, Chabelle's not lying about the emotionally manipulative part.
	He's not lying about the victimization part.
	Yeah.
	So I also think a lot of those people didn't read the full article.
	Because the headline is like, oh, the stories aren't true.
	Big deal.
	Yeah.
	And then you read it and you're like, oh, this is crazy.
	This woman's life really hurt.
	Her parents got death threats.
	This is crazy.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	For the prom date.
	Son, the anthrax shit is too, that's crazy.
	That's crazy.
	That's too good.
	That's crazy.
	I got to mail myself some baby powder.
	Level up in his business, right?
	The anthrax got on his daughter and he had to take her to the hospital.
	How do you even write that?
	That's crazy.
	How do you even write that?
	Why would you even want to think about something?
	When people call out of work, they'll say, I have to do that.
	Why your daughter get in the mail?
	Why your daughter get in the mail?
	Nobody asked about that.
	You make your daughter open up the mail.
	Can I be honest, though, in an Indian house, they just make the youngest person go get everything?
	Is that right?
	Yeah, go get me some water.
	Go get the mail.
	Go get this.
	You're just like, you're like a golden retriever.
	No way.
	But for, yeah, just like random things around.
	I'm going to get that from me.
	Yeah.
	You're the mail wallet.
	You're a task wallet.
	You're a task rabbit.
	Wow, bro.
	Yeah, I mean, just too funny.
	Just too funny.
	Yeah.
	And then you got to lean in with this next one.
	The article said he invited the girl from the homecoming story to watch the show.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's next thing.
	And apparently used a photo of her in the show, but then blurred out her face.
	With the brown boyfriend, which he, obviously, that ruins a whole story about her being racist.
	So he blurred his face too.
	Yeah.
	And she's still going to be racist, yo.
	I ain't going to lie.
	I'm still, I still need to see this girl.
	I still can't.
	Dude, you'd rather have your emotional truth.
	You and him both think she was racist.
	You just agree.
	That's it.
	Yeah, we agree on the emotional.
	Yeah, you agree on that?
	100%.
	There's nothing wrong with that.
	I think she's racist.
	You think she's racist?
	And who are we to tell you you're wrong about another human being?
	I think she's.
	Hold on one second.
	I don't think she's racist, but I do think that she agreed to go to prom with him.
	Okay.
	Because he admitted that.
	He was like, yeah, her version is true.
	But I'm got to do that because he's super lefty.
	So he's got, you know, women are always right around him.
	So he has to agree.
	But deep down, he knows.
	He's super lefty, but he's also super Muslim.
	So women aren't always right.
	Well, maybe he just didn't accept no as an answer because he's a Muslim.
	Maybe Dallas.
	Maybe there's a.
	Maybe that's.
	That's not true either.
	That's because he's Indian.
	Oh, there you go.
	So listen, it's a cultural thing.
	Like she was like, no, and he was like, yes.
	She's like, let me talk to your parents.
	They'll arrange this.
	They'll have to make these decisions.
	Not like if he did go talk to the parents, and then he maybe would have respected it.
	They're like, no, it isn't a fit.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Our star signs don't align.
	Yes, they do.
	Yeah.
	Why do you even get offended by that?
	We got to look at, what is it called?
	The math?
	The Columbine?
	What does the Indian woman do?
	Kundui.
	Yeah, the star chart.
	The star chart.
	Yeah, yeah.
	There was a time when that Indian girl was doing multiplication.
	Did you see that video?
	No, but I've been multiplying.
	Oh, my God.
	I'll pull it up.
	But it's literally this Indian girl is doing math, and they just ask her numbers, and there's like 55 plus 72 plus 105.
	And she's just doing abacus in her head.
	You haven't seen this video?
	Bro, it's on the bottom.
	I'm talking about the Indian dating show where Shorty asked.
	Indian matchmaking.
Cultural Dating Expectations 00:02:06
	Yeah.
	I thought you were talking about the girl doing math, bro.
	Fuck.
	Nah, bro.
	But you don't need me to pick it up.
	I love watching retards.
	I love it.
	Okay, no, so here's the thing.
	I would like to know what Shorty looks like, but I guess her picture's not out there.
	I can't find it.
	Because to turn down Hassan, I will say, though, do you?
	She's gone.
	Let me tell you something about her.
	I know you want to be the hottest Indian, but it's funny.
	I'm 40 and married.
	Who gives a fuck?
	How much did you pay that New Yorker writer to do this?
	That's what I'm saying.
	How much did you pay that motherfucker?
	Hey, this is my special.
	I told y'all I'm going to be fired.
	I told y'all I'm going to be fired.
	Ryan, my cousin just filmed a special that is mostly true.
	Hassan is out of here.
	It's emotionally changed.
	Wow.
	Those are the two specials.
	Bring back a poo, get rid of Hassan.
	That's what he's got to call it.
	And Netflix budget is wide open.
	Wide open, dog.
	Y'all gotta, hey, y'all gotta fill it.
	Do you feel like the article was a little bit of a hippie, though?
	Yeah, dude.
	Shorty was definitely emotionally manipulated by the.
	You know, that whoever wrote it was riding for Hassan for like five years.
	And then randomly was at a bar and was like, oh, what?
	Here's what happened.
	It better be exactly what happened for you to cut off my little fun lamp.
	It better be the exact thing that happened because you boys building momentum.
	I was about to 70% truth you.
	Hell yeah.
	And I was about to give you the nice thing.
	Like a journalist friend of ours filled me in.
	The New Yorker was doing a feature on him.
	And they fact check.
	The New Yorker fact-checks everything.
	They don't fuck around.
	That's like their reputation.
	He just kept lying to them.
	He kept telling them all these stories as facts.
	So they started fact-checking them.
	And then nothing was adding up.
	Like the daughter hospitalization show.
	There's no record, hospitalization record.
	The building didn't have any record of anything.
	They like were very thorough.
	Yo, that's the wild shit to like hold on to the hold on to the lie outside of the show.
	Sonny lied to me at an in-and-out.
	15 years ago.
	We need to sit down.
	Hassan keep it going.
	Juicy as Hassan.
	Juicy Smole and Hassan.
	It's crazy.
	We need to sit down.
	Juicy, Hassan, and you got to add Santos in that.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Russell Brand Lies Exposed 00:12:53
	Come on.
	Those are the goats right there.
	Yeah.
	Imagine that barber shop talk.
	LeBron, Juicy Smoolet.
	LeBron lying about all the books he read.
	Juicy Smoolet, George Santos.
	Parents from the blind side.
	Parents from the blind side.
	Dude, dude, dude.
	This could be a phenomenal podcast.
	Should we arrange this?
	Yeah, we need to.
	I think we should.
	This is the most our gosh has known about Indian shit.
	He knows every detail.
	Was that regular episode of Patreon with the two let?
	Oh, that was Shames.
	That was Shaman.
	My God, that was phenomenal.
	Yo, yo, yo, I shook ain't shit.
	What?
	Because Shub after the pod was like, I used to think the same thing.
	Shoob grew up in India.
	He wanted to make you feel better.
	No, I said that.
	I never thought that once in this video.
	I was like, why don't you say something?
	He goes, I didn't want to get destroyed on the podcast.
	They were killing you.
	Why didn't you kill me?
	I told Emma the story.
	And Emma's been to India.
	And she was like, yeah, I saw that on all the buildings too.
	I knew it was Toulette.
	Like, I knew it was.
	Yeah, but that's because she's Jewish.
	She knows how to own land.
	She knows how to be a landmark.
	Go start that movers.
	For announcements.
	First of all, Long Island, thank y'all so much, man.
	Six sold-out shows to Paramount.
	That was unbelievable.
	Thank you to everybody who came out this weekend.
	We're in Niagara Falls.
	That's sold out.
	And we're in Windsor, Ontario at the Coliseum at the Caesars.
	Some tickets left for that.
	Pull up.
	Also, Dublin, thank you guys so much.
	We're adding more seats.
	This has been incredible.
	The Three Arena in Dublin, iconic location.
	We just added more seats.
	So go get those as soon as you can.
	Manchester, you've been asking.
	We added a second show.
	Okay.
	London, we're not adding another show.
	So if you're from London or any of the surrounding areas, get your ass on a train.
	Come up to Manchester.
	We're doing a 4 p.m. show that same day.
	It's October 15th.
	Also, November 13th, we added a second show in Perth, Australia.
	Okay.
	Melbourne, we just added more seats in the John Cain Arena.
	Sydney, we added a second show at the Aware Super Theater, an unbelievable theater in Sydney.
	Cannot wait to get in there.
	And we also have Brisbane Entertainment Center in Brisbane.
	That's November 19th.
	We'll see you all there.
	All those tickets, dandruffschults.com.
	And some cool announcements coming soon.
	All right.
	Also, guys, show announcements.
	First of all, thank you to everybody who came out of Stress Factory.
	It was crazy.
	We sold all four shows out super quickly.
	Added a fifth show.
	That sold out super quickly.
	Sorry, we could not add a sixth.
	I truly did not have the time.
	But I'm going to take a little time off of stand-up, try to get my brain right.
	But I'll be back in Atlanta October 27th, 28th, and 29th.
	And if there's not a lot of low-key gay dudes trying to fuck me at all three of these shows, I'm going to feel very unattractive.
	So I want Indians, openly gay dudes, low-key gay dudes.
	And I think I just described all of Atlanta.
	Women too.
	Women.
	I forgot half.
	I forgot half the population.
	Anyway, after Atlanta, next show on the docket is December 1st and 2nd in Portland, Oregon.
	And then December 8th in New Orleans, Louisiana.
	And I have a big announcement coming for y'all next week.
	Buckle the fuck up.
	People have been asking me from a very specific region where to perform, and it's not India.
	I will do India, but y'all got to get your exchange rate in order.
	But there's one more big show coming.
	You'll see what it is.
	Oh, guys.
	And before I forget, we did Twitch stream the NFL this past Sunday.
	Then I realized I ain't got no real following on Twitch.
	So we moved over to YouTube where your boy's getting close to a million, and it was fun as fuck.
	So we're going to do it again next week.
	Akash Singh Comedy on YouTube.
	Subscribe if you haven't already.
	Let's hit a million.
	But either way, NFL this Sunday.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	We're going to do the world's fastest dates announcement in Toronto, September 28th.
	Come see me and Derek Post in Comedy Bar.
	Let's get back to the show.
	Suck his dick.
	So what do we do with this?
	What are the repercussions?
	Do you think this affects him career-wise?
	What is the I don't know?
	I hope it does because I have a special time shopping.
	I was clear out the money.
	I mean, they're saying he can't host the daily show now.
	That's like I think he's still on the run in life.
	No, there's no way.
	Like he was like a front runner.
	You can't branding-wise, he seems like an obvious choice.
	I don't, branding-wise, he's obvious.
	Skill-wise, he's obvious.
	I mean, he's an excellent host.
	He's fantastic.
	They should have offered him way before this article.
	But the show, I mean, the daily show is supposed to be about truth, right?
	Like, you're supposed to, so the guy who is admit to not telling the truth can't host the truth show.
	I think the daily show would get too much criticism.
	That being said, I don't think that his fan base will care that much.
	And I think he'll still be able to tour and still be able to make, you know, these pieces.
	And maybe they'll go into it with a little bit more realistic viewpoint.
	Or maybe he'll change how he does the shows now that he's, you know, felt the repercussions of being honest.
	Because this is bring back a poo.
	The whole ethos is we're not victims.
	So watching the traumedy thing get exposed, where like these South Asian dudes are like, dude, we're these victims of systematic oppression.
	It's like, no, you're not, dude.
	They're kind of co-opting the blacks.
	Yeah.
	And it's like, look, I ain't no fucking ally, but I'm not going to call myself an ally.
	Shut the fuck up.
	Yo, in America, we're richer than white people on average.
	We're killing everyone.
	We're not victims.
	We're killing it.
	What?
	We're richer than you on average.
	Miles, how did we let this happen?
	Hey, you didn't let my American.
	You let nothing happen.
	Not my American.
	They took it like you do.
	They do that.
	Nah, but I don't think nothing happens to him.
	Yeah, I don't think this affects him at all.
	You don't think the daily show thing would?
	No, I think he still can host that.
	No one cares about shit anymore.
	Like, nobody cares.
	That's interesting.
	I think there is less of a concern probably now about things.
	And his lies didn't really hurt.
	Besides the prom chick, Shorty, like his lies didn't hurt anybody.
	The only, I think he'll be fine.
	I think kind of like Aziz is still killing it.
	But some people felt like let down by like this guy that was like a woke.
	He's still doing theaters.
	He's still, you know what I mean?
	So he's not.
	Yeah, he's got a movie that he made.
	I just haven't seen him.
	No, no.
	I think it might be like that.
	We're like, a lot, dude, brown people worship this guy.
	That was their guy.
	They felt all these things that happened to him.
	You know what I mean?
	FBI informant shit, like all that spoke to them.
	Did you hear he actually has him the problem?
	Here's the real story.
	No, the FBI shit is.
	It's insane, dude.
	It's insane.
	So tell me, the FBI informant story is that this FBI informant infiltrated his mosque right after September 11th.
	And that's what I'm saying.
	But you gotta.
	You gotta have a precedent.
	You gotta have a president.
	Back then, none of us would have been mad at it.
	We'd have been like, yeah, I get it.
	Gotta have a president.
	Even the Muslims are probably like, I get it, bro.
	We're good, but I get it.
	Gotta have a presence, bro.
	I guess his parents took him in, and then he was like asking all the brown kids there, like, what do you know about jihad?
	And then Hassan was like, I decided to have fun with him.
	And I told him I'm getting my pilot's license that night.
	The cops show up on my house, slam my hood on my face on the hood of the police car door, whatever, all this crazy shit.
	And then the story turns out to not be true.
	And they said, what is that?
	You know, what's your emotional truth for that one?
	He was like, well, I was playing pickup basketball with these white guys and one of them fouled me kind of horrible.
	That's unlikely.
	Crazy.
	I get that, though.
	I still think that girl was racist.
	I still think that's racist.
	That's the lemonade.
	That's the lemonade.
	I love this.
	Any girl that rejected me is racist.
	A lot of racist brown girls out there.
	You fucking hate brown boys.
	Brown racist bitches.
	Pretty ass brown boys, but green eyes.
	I know you hate them.
	Perfect beard.
	Yeah.
	See any fat.
	You know what I mean?
	You ain't seen my shirt off like you reject me.
	That's facts, bro.
	Imagine you ask a girl, hey, are you racist?
	She's going to go, no, I'm not racist.
	That guy's a liar.
	She has every incentive to lie.
	Oh, you know what I mean?
	Shit.
	That's true.
	I was right.
	Yeah.
	That's what I'm saying.
	You're right.
	I was right.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I don't think that we could trust this girl.
	I'm going to be honest with you.
	I don't think that we could trust this girl.
	I don't think so.
	I think we have to meet the husband.
	Okay.
	Who is the husband?
	I mean, bro, who knows?
	Oh, I know.
	Hassan.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's who he's really married to.
	He's actually not married to a brown woman.
	Doesn't have brown kids.
	He's married to a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white girl, blue-eyed white girl.
	Yes.
	Take the mask off.
	Yes.
	Whoa.
	Yes.
	Jokes on you, Akash.
	Married a brown woman.
	I fucked up.
	You fucked up.
	You could have actually achieved the American dream.
	Which is Alex.
	White women.
	Minorities marrying white women.
	This is the American dream.
	White powder, baby.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So white girl.
	You want some white girl in the mail.
	Anthrax is a metaphor.
	We're going to get that.
	That's a metaphor.
	It's a metaphor.
	Dude, did Russell Brand not do a real solid to Hassan this weekend?
	Because Hassan was going to dominate the comedy conversation.
	And then Russell Brand came out and he was like, you know what?
	The British have done enough to Indians over the years.
	I think that he deserves his reparations.
	And he slid in and he just took over the news.
	Do you think that he's been serving out Rappuccinos over the last one?
	Sounds like a delicious.
	We can't say that word.
	A rappuccino?
	Starbucks points, right?
	How about rappitouing?
	How about that?
	Do you think that he's been serving up rapporteuries over these years?
	Because we can't say the word because the word...
	The word is triggering.
	The word triggering is also going to get us demonetized.
	That's what we really care about.
	But what do you think his scenario has been?
	He might have, I don't know.
	We'll have to see what the court says and see if they confirm he's been giving out raffle pies.
	I don't know.
	I don't know if he's been serving up warm raffle pies to the women of London.
	I don't know.
	Okay, can we go over the stories?
	Okay.
	Can we just, what exactly are you?
	So four women have accused Russell Brand of giving them these Michael rappaports.
	No.
	It's a big deal, dude.
	It's a big deal.
	No.
	I'm not rapping.
	Just screaming in their face.
	No way.
	Oh, man.
	Now, listen, we've had Russell Brand on the show.
	I know.
	This is why didn't you ask him this?
	Say again?
	Why didn't you ask him?
	Well, because I knew it was true.
	Okay, that's why.
	It would have made it a little awkward if you were to be able to do it.
	We're just trying to talk about the metaphysical universe.
	You know?
	Because in that universe, it's consensual.
	No, okay, let's break this down because we should not be having these kind of funny conversations right now.
	No, of course not.
	You know what I mean?
	Serious issue.
	Let's just have, just to chill the hell out.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Do you have a little drink?
	Does anybody have any strapple?
	Yo, just a little snapple with some snapple.
	Yeah, what's your favorite flavor of it?
	It's funny because do you want to drink is how most of these cases started.
	But here's the crazy thing.
	Yeah.
	Sober.
	Well, he's a drunk addict.
	Not from when these stories are coming out, right?
	Oh, really?
	I don't know.
	I thought these are all back in the day when he was a wild boy.
	You didn't read the article.
	You met one of them in a not reading, but I do mind you trying to correct someone who read it.
	Oh, that bothers me.
	That bothers me.
	Thank you.
	That's my 70% truth, right?
	It is Russell Burray's excuse, bro.
	You know what?
	Russell Bray has few excuses.
	My emotional truth is they were about it, yo.
	70% of them were about it.
	There's about 30% of them.
	There are some pretty tart lemonade.
	But most of them are just a lot of sweet teas.
	The thing that bothers me about the emotional truth line is that comedy is actually that.
	Like if you look at old Borschbelt stuff, like the one-liners, like, take my wife, please.
	Yeah.
	The emotional truth is, my wife can be kind of frustrating.
	So I'm going to write a joke that is, and by the way, I finally understood that joke.
	Broussard explained it to us.
	It was, take my wife, for example.
	That's the sentence that you would normally say.
	You know, women are amazing.
	Take my wife, for example.
	But the women are amazing.
	Take my wife.
	Please.
	Please.
	Yeah.
	So, but the emotional truth is, oh, my wife is frustrating.
	So let me write a joke about giving her to another man or something like that.
	The emotional truth is there.
	That's what comedy is: emotional truth.
	And then you write a sarcastic or a misdirection or a fable, a lie punchline that satisfies that emotional truth.
	So I don't even like him co-opting this emotional truth thing because if you look at so many of the great comedians, the emotional truth is there.
	Like you look at Eddie Murphy doing the half.
	Yeah.
	The half joke.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know, in Raw.
	Yeah.
	They're talking about like a woman getting half.
	Like the frustration that comes out.
Comedy vs Rape Allegations 00:13:44
	Look at Bernie Mac talking about his three kids and what he would do to the three kids.
	He's talking about hitting them.
	That's the emotional truth.
	I don't think he's beating up these little fucking kids.
	I mean, black family.
	Fair enough.
	He's not scared of them.
	He is scared.
	But let's say, let's say he is, let's say, for example, he is not doing anything, but he recognizes the emotional truth is it's funny to say that he would.
	I'll beat him to the white meat.
	He's not going to beat you until that.
	But it's funnier.
	Yeah.
	Funnier to say it.
	So I don't like that even being pulled in there because that's pure stand-up.
	Pure stand-up is not lying about victimization.
	Yes.
	And then not satisfying it with a joke.
	Yes.
	Like that, yeah, I don't like that.
	Also, one other thing with Hassan, I just feel like...
	His beard looks great.
	And he's just a handsome person.
	He's so handsome in the hairline.
	It's fantastic.
	How?
	Fantastic.
	I like him.
	I like him.
	She was racist, bro.
	She was fucking racist, Hassan.
	And don't you ever forget it.
	Okay.
	Really fucking bothers me.
	Yeah, dude.
	That thing really fucking bothers me because he became so ingratiated with the Hollywood machine.
	I also think people are taking it harder on him.
	You know what I mean?
	Like if some, if this happens, you don't like Hollywood, you're using him as the latest.
	I think he can be seen as an agent of like liberal media.
	And as a result, there's all these people on the right that are ready to go at him no matter what.
	I don't even think they really care about.
	I bet you most of them didn't even see the spell.
	He's just a tool.
	Yeah.
	He's just a tool for them to hammer away at liberal media.
	But he also used them to get, you know what I mean?
	Like he wasn't, he used it to get where he was and placated them and played to them.
	Well, that is another thing.
	He's candid to them at all times.
	I think you should always be wary of, and this is on the right or the left.
	Anybody that 100% toes the company line or the party line.
	Oh, yeah.
	Or, and a lot of times it's not even party because I think Hassan would push back against Democrats, obviously push back against Republicans.
	But if the if your philosophy is liberal or Republican only 100%, you should always be a little bit skeptical of what's going on here because oftentimes that's more of a costume that you're wearing for financial gain.
	And both sides.
	This happens on both sides.
	And the people who are going to still go to his shows are going to be okay with the fact that it was lies because it serves the truth that they want to hear.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	So, yeah, that's something, like you said, always be wary of.
	I'm sure you've done this a thousand times, but there were certain people on the right wing that wanted to interview me when Bring Back Habu came out.
	I was like, No, you're out of your fucking mind.
	You think I'm doing that?
	Because I'm not going to be your puppet.
	Yeah.
	You're not going to do this to me where you want an agenda and then you wrote me into it and then I'm a part of it.
	No, I'm going to be an independent human being who thinks straight.
	Yeah.
	And I think if you do that, you're going to get fucked whenever by the other side, whenever the truth comes out.
	Look at that integrity.
	Just digging.
	I'm the best.
	I'm a hero.
	But I think this, I think this a lot of times happens.
	And the problem is that he did create some really beautiful art.
	Like I remember watching the first special and it was beautiful.
	It was, it was really great.
	Like the way that they did it.
	And it was just, it was just really good.
	And, but I think, I think the problem is, is like, and you know, we talked about this before.
	It's like, when you're focused on art, you'll try to stay true and authentic to that art.
	And I think when people get caught up in success or the addiction for fame, you do anything you can to feed that.
	The coolest thing you did after Infamous is six months off of stage.
	Six months.
	Because I wanted it to be pure.
	I wanted to find the next person.
	And what you're doing now is so different and so cool.
	That's not happening if you're chasing something besides the art.
	Yeah, 100%.
	And listen, we've got some huge advantages.
	We have a very successful podcast that is going to pay the bills.
	So we have the ability where we can take time off and find out the next thing that we're passionate about, how we want our art to be reflected, like what we really want to write about.
	And that takes fucking time.
	If you just go right back into it, you're just going to rewrite the same version of the last thing you did.
	And so I think we should take advantage.
	Not everybody has that.
	There are some people they just need to keep pounding the road because they got fucking kids, they got mortgages, they got to keep doing it.
	So, but this is, I think this is a good example of, wow, that works so well.
	How can we beat that?
	What if I don't have a story that's as good as that?
	Let's say the first one was real.
	What if you don't have another story that's as good as that?
	Yeah.
	Well, that's what people want.
	They have to deliver that.
	We've shit on her on this pod and all that, but I will say this.
	I watched Hannah Gatsby's both her specials.
	The second one, she said something that was very self-aware.
	She was like, dude, if I had known trauma was going to make me so much money, I wouldn't have used it all up in the first thing.
	And that immediately makes you trust her where you're like, oh, she at least acknowledges.
	And now she's, then she just does like the second one is like a comedy special.
	It's hers, but it's not like some traumedy thing.
	It is just like, we're trying to be funny, whatever.
	It's personal.
	But like, I can respect trying to do it differently than that.
	Exactly.
	And if you found out that Hannah didn't tell the truth about that she had so much success with, obviously there would, there'd be like this icky feeling.
	Yeah.
	And I also think putting the person out, like if she put the person up that did it and was like, here's his picture and it's blurred out and then people were able to dox him and his life got ruined and then came out and none of it was true.
	You would look at her and be like, that's fucking crazy.
	That's crazy.
	That's crazy.
	Yeah.
	So I think it's okay to have this reaction.
	And I think Hassan has to take this.
	And this is the bed you made.
	But I don't think that his career is over.
	Should he quit stand-up forever?
	No.
	I think you should just go back to doing stand-up.
	Like do stand-up where you can, you know, more take these liberties with jokes.
	You know what I mean?
	Like actually reverse what you're doing.
	You know, I think he's going like, here's the tough emotional thing right here.
	And then there's no joke at the end of it.
	Like just use these tough emotional things as the joke.
	You know what I mean?
	Like your daughter finding this powder in it immediately and you're finding a powder in an envelope.
	Right.
	And you having to like remove your daughter so you could snort it.
	Or you know what I mean?
	Like whatever.
	That's the joke.
	It's like, she's already into this.
	America's corrupting them.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Not, oh my God, this anthrax, the world is so racist.
	And look what's happening to me.
	Yeah.
	You know, his next special could be fire.
	If he goes full lie.
	If he just opens up like the way Louis opened up with like, so how was your year?
	You know what I mean?
	Like, if he's able just to confront it and be really honest about what happened.
	Yeah, I think he could just bounce back.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that is the beauty of stand-up and art.
	It's like if you're able to articulate what you were doing, how you did it in an entertaining and fun way, people will listen.
	People will listen.
	Russell, on the other hand, might have a little bit of a heart.
	So what do we think with the Russell thing?
	Because obviously when we asked him to come on the pod, you know, we'd seen this guy come to America and like there was this massive splash when he came.
	He was so fucking charismatic, really funny, charming.
	Smart person, very charismatic.
	Smart, of course, engaging.
	And then these stories come out.
	So there's four stories.
	There are four different girls that are claiming different, I don't know, versions of sexual assaults and rape.
	One girl, it's an age thing.
	I think they started dating when she was 16.
	No, there is an assault with that because the age thing, she was 16.
	Yeah.
	And then Russell takes interest.
	They go on dates, whatever.
	Parents weren't into it.
	She feels like there was grooming involved, but the age of consent in the UK is 16.
	So that in and of itself isn't illegal.
	It's just icky to use your earlier word.
	But then she says there was also assault within the relationship.
	I think he made her give him a head while she was sleeping or something like that.
	Something like that.
	And she's like punching him again.
	The story says she's punching him to get her off.
	He won't do it.
	He finally does.
	And then he says, according allegedly, I just want to see your mascara run away a bit.
	Which the verbiage is also sounds like the way an English dude would say it.
	So you're like, well, that sounds like familiar mourning.
	That's rough.
	Also, he wears mascara too.
	So maybe that's something that he's more familiar with.
	He just has a greater understanding.
	You've got to say mascara run away.
	Wash your face, bro.
	Exactly.
	Now, her parents didn't approve of the relationship.
	Are they racist?
	I think they are racist.
	I think they could be.
	I think he showed up at the door.
	And then her parents were like, I don't think it's a good fit.
	She just dressed as Osama bin Laden again.
	No way.
	When he went on a date with her.
	That's why.
	No way.
	They said, we don't want you marrying a Saudi Pakistani guy.
	They weren't allowed to do it.
	Nothing to do with Osama.
	Just the fact that he's brown.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So here's the thing about it that's obviously tricky is, and he brought up something that I thought was quite interesting.
	It's when he was working at Channel 4, I guess, which is like a British channel.
	It's a British news channels or whatever.
	I think Channel 4 was one of the organizations behind this expose.
	And it's like, so when I was working for you, you didn't care to do the background check to find out if there was any legitimacy to this.
	You were arguably protecting me from some of these allegations.
	And now that I'm not working for you, now that I'm going against the mainstream media, now that I'm pushing back against the narratives that you push, all of a sudden you're willing to come forward with this article, which is, I understand.
	Also, these four women only came out when approached by the journalist.
	So they weren't coming out on their own accord.
	No, one of them tried to, well, she went to the clinic and got the anti-rape kit or the rape kit or whatever.
	She got the rape kit, but then she chose not to press charges and pursue it.
	So it is a tricky situation.
	And women don't pursue these things for many different reasons.
	Okay.
	There's embarrassment.
	There's fear.
	This is like a faintness.
	Fear makes complete sense.
	100%.
	And he already did something to me that's like going to terrify me forever.
	100.
	But unfortunately, this also does create room for skepticism when the journalist is tracking down the girls and going, hey, didn't he do something to you?
	These other girls said he did it.
	Hey, didn't he do something?
	Hey, didn't he do something?
	And all of a sudden you're trying.
	You have a specific motive here.
	The journalist, it appears, doesn't want to find out that he's innocent.
	Her article is he's a predator.
	And she's going to keep asking people until she finds out that he's a predator.
	Now, we would hope that they have the journalistic integrity if she didn't find out that they were, that she would just go, okay, we're not gonna, we're not gonna post anything.
	I'm not gonna write this article.
	But again, you don't know.
	And there is that wiggle room right there.
	So this is, this is, it's tricky, man.
	It's really fucking tricky.
	Do you think his audience will care?
	Assuming that the charges go through and he's not convicted in a court of law because they're not able to prove it, hypothetically.
	I think it stops him from doing anything in like the industry for a long time unless he is exonerated.
	I think he hasn't been given up on the industry, though.
	Yeah, he has.
	He has.
	It might make things tricky, like having a big-time promoter for his tour or putting out a special on a Netflix or an Amazon or something like that.
	It might make those things tricky, but he can continue to exist, I think, online and build his following.
	Multiple allegations is always a lot.
	That's a lot.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's a lot.
	Yeah.
	Now, when he was on the show, you kind of mentioned that he wasn't very Indian and he was using Indian ideas.
	Yeah, this is a thing that's one of them.
	Yeah, do you feel he's proving his Indianness?
	He's one of them.
	Now, do you believe it?
	I don't know if I believe him or I don't have, but I like him.
	Can he do the Hindu stuff now?
	Do you give him a Hindu pass?
	No, that's not Hindu, dude.
	That's not Hindu.
	It is a little Indian, but it's not Indian.
	Not Hindu.
	All right.
	Let's fucking conflate these two things.
	The culture and the faith.
	That's fair.
	That's fair.
	Catholics, on the other hand, they don't know nothing about rapists.
	No, of course not.
	That's your faith, dude.
	Yeah, dude.
	Not American.
	You guys don't know what's going on.
	Come on, man.
	Anyway, so what are we thinking here?
	What happens to Russell?
	Hopefully it's not true.
	Yes.
	Like in all these cases, hopefully women are not victimized.
	Yes.
	What's crazy is I think he gets bigger.
	Oh, if he's oh, if he's accused and then it turns out that it was bullshit.
	Well, it doesn't even have to turn out it was bullshit.
	Like a rape conviction is apparently, I didn't even realize this until recently.
	Really hard.
	It's even hard to get it to trial.
	So until that happens, it's just going to be this is bullshit.
	Nothing is happening.
	They're not going to get the trial.
	It just gets bigger.
	And he has a voice to fight it.
	Yes, he does.
	He has a platform.
	He has everything.
	And a rabbit following to.
	So that is the truth.
	That is the truth, though.
	If it turns out he is innocent, he is without a doubt bigger.
	And not only is he without a doubt bigger, he's now a target.
	He must be doing something crazy.
	He must be doing something wild.
	He must be really riling up the elites.
	Yes, exactly.
	And he can lean into that 100%.
	And there seems to be enough wiggle room.
	The fact that none of these women came forward, the most damning one, obviously, is the girl who went and got the kit done.
	And she got a rape kit done.
	And I would assume that there would be DNA from both parties on that.
	No?
	Yeah.
	She would still have to prove that it was not consensual.
	And this is going to be a he said, she said situation.
	This is probably why it's important that there are other women involved.
	But at the same time, you don't know if there's enough evidence, especially this many years later, to prove that.
	It's a tricky one, yo.
	Even talking about this shit is tricky.
DNA Evidence in Assault Cases 00:08:59
	Like, you want to make jokes, but it's, you know, do you know what I mean?
	We're kind of the victims in this.
	Yeah, like we are.
	Yeah, we can't even get the jokes off, we want to say we're being silenced.
	Yeah, we're being silenced.
	Why are they silencing us, dude?
	They're fucking silencing us, man.
	I've been trying to make a joke about grape juice for the last five minutes.
	Because you're black.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I was going to tie them both together.
	It's like, damn.
	Double dungeon.
	I wish you could zoom in all of our heads throughout this whole comedy.
	He's going to Al's head.
	He's like, he's thinking about grape juice.
	Is that all they think about?
	Oh, my God.
	Ooh, Can we just lighten things up, dude?
	Yeah, can we?
	Yeah, dude.
	All right, let's go.
	Do you want to talk about a beautiful wedding that we went to?
	Yeah, talking about consensual things.
	Consensual things.
	Yeah, let's do it.
	Dude, weddings are the fucking best.
	They're the best.
	They're the absolute best.
	Everybody, get married.
	Get married.
	If you can, if you have that opportunity to do it.
	Just do it to the right person.
	Even to the wrong person.
	Don't know.
	The wedding is probably dope.
	Because if it's to the wrong person, then it ends.
	You get to run it back.
	But the wedding itself is probably dope because you're probably filled up with so much love, joy, and excitement that you think they are the right person that day.
	You see what I'm saying?
	But like, weddings are fucking so.
	So we went to Derek Poston and Sam Poston's wedding.
	And I love calling her Sam Poston now.
	Oh, of course.
	He's posting.
	Come on.
	And it was just awesome.
	And it was so much fun.
	And Miles is being the most possibly distracting human being in the world while trying to not get in front of the camera lenses, which we really appreciate, Miles.
	Thank you very much.
	He crawled under a tripod.
	Yeah, that's crazy.
	That's crazy.
	That was crazy.
	Anyway, so how many times do you think he cried?
	If you had to guess, I cried two times.
	How did he guess three?
	Two times.
	Over-under would have been at three.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I cried at Derek.
	Oh, no.
	Three, you're right.
	I know what I got.
	I have a feeling we're going to find out about one more.
	No, Three, solid.
	Your guess was four?
	My guess was six at least.
	I mean, I lost it a couple of times.
	Like, I lost it at Derek's speech.
	It was so beautiful.
	Also, write your own vows.
	It's difficult and it will be annoying, but you will be so happy.
	I cried you did it.
	Thank you.
	I mean, they were amazing.
	And, but yeah, I cried at Derek's and then I cried at Assan's speech.
	Assan Abd.
	Assan had a comedian, best friend of Derek, and he had this beautiful speech.
	And what's up?
	No, I thought you were talking about Hassan.
	No, Hassan.
	Bro, an honest Hassan speech.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hassan definitely will tell people he was there.
	And he was his favorite Reddit 100%.
	And we, yeah, and it was just beautiful.
	It was just this great, you know, you could tell he really loved his boy.
	He's choking up during it.
	And that's two.
	There's two.
	And then one other thing.
	Then one other time.
	No, Sam's ain't getting me, bro.
	I ain't going to lie.
	Sam's ain't getting me.
	Sam's ain't getting me.
	I heard Sam's was great.
	Sam's was fantastic.
	It was just great, dude.
	Her opening line was like, it was like out of a fucking novel.
	Like it was just beautiful.
	But I think Sam kind of like warmed me up.
	And then Derek just fucking hate anger.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It was going first is tough.
	Opening the show.
	Yeah.
	Open the show.
	The bullet balance.
	Yeah.
	But no, it was beautiful.
	Her speech was beautiful.
	And like, they were both so happy.
	There's a video I have of like Derek seeing Sam for the first time, walk down the stairs.
	And he just goes full retard in the video.
	Like his tongue is sticking out.
	He's going like this.
	Like he was just hungry.
	Golden retriever, dude.
	He was going through it.
	He was crying.
	He's wiping his eyes.
	I got to show you the video.
	I mean, it's just unbelievable.
	And he was just so happy.
	He's crying the whole time.
	I was just going to weddings.
	What's the third time?
	What was it?
	Third time.
	I'll tell you guys after.
	I'll tell you guys after, man.
	You know what I mean?
	Okay, go, go, go.
	What about you?
	It's just fun to go to weddings and watch you the whole time because you're the only one at the wedding in your mind.
	You know what I mean?
	It's just awesome.
	Like they're doing the vows.
	Like he's crying and Straws are just fist bumping in the back.
	Like just not even aware.
	He's just like so fired up.
	He's like, yes, love is awesome.
	This is awesome.
	You really get it after you get married.
	Weddings are always fun for me, but then after you get married, you're like, yo, these are the best days of my friends' lives.
	I hated that I had to miss his wedding.
	I'm sorry, Derek.
	I'm sorry, Sam, but fuck.
	I love weddings now.
	Indians love a meal, dude.
	If there's a free meal going on, they will pull up.
	No, we love wedding.
	I will say this, though.
	When you come, it's a step down from the Indian wedding, usually, in terms of like the food and the quickness, the quickness of this wedding.
	Oh, no, your shit is profit.
	Yeah, we be in and out.
	I mean, you're standing there, you're hanging out, having a drink, crying within three minutes, and then dancing within seven.
	It's awesome.
	Food in between.
	Yeah, let's get it going, right?
	Not fucking running laps or whatever.
	We did it.
	Yeah, you know what I mean?
	Our shit is, y'all didn't do nothing.
	Our shit is like, didn't we have to do laps?
	He did 500.
	We did 100.
	It was 500.
	But yeah, y'all didn't do laps.
	I did laps.
	That's right.
	No, you guys are the laps.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	At the gurdwara.
	Gurdwara.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And you won, though.
	I want the record to show.
	One, though, the man leads.
	Come on.
	If you look at the photo finish.
	We're brown.
	Yeah.
	She was getting close, and then right at the end, you went like that.
	And then you won.
	That was awesome.
	I like that.
	It was just so dope.
	Now, you had an interesting observation.
	We were talking, and you were reflecting on this wedding versus yours.
	And if you feel comfortable sharing, yeah, of course.
	My wedding was just very structured.
	It's a Catholic wedding.
	There was one black person at this wedding.
	Yeah, actually, you were right.
	No, no, no, there was a few.
	There's a few.
	All Derek's family.
	Yeah.
	Half Derek's family.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I've recently gotten more black friends, so I would have invited them had I known.
	But I got married before.
	You know what I mean?
	That was a poser beater.
	Anyway.
	But Catholic wedding is very structured, very regimental.
	You don't really do your own vows.
	It's just kind of like ascribed to you.
	Then you just kind of have to say what is given.
	And looking back, I'm like, man, it would have been fun to do some time.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	The time is good.
	You know, get to work out some bits.
	And it would have been good to actually be vulnerable.
	I feel like watching your boys be gay is awesome.
	It's a great, it's a great thing.
	Watching your boys just cry in front of everyone is just the best feeling.
	Profess their love for the person that you already know they love so much.
	And then hearing that person that you might not be as close to talk about how amazing your boy is and how in love with your boy she is.
	Because obviously we're closer to Derek than we are.
	Sam would love Sam, but we don't go on the road every weekend with her.
	So hearing how much she loves our boy, we're like, oh, hell yeah, you got the one.
	You got a great one.
	This is going to be awesome.
	But yeah, it's one of those things that I think that definitely Derek's wedding, my wedding, which probably weren't as traditional in terms of like the religiosity with it, because that was in some ways removed.
	But at the same time, Derek's mom blessed the wedding.
	She had this beautiful speech.
	And like, I guess it was more about our love and less about like, I think sometimes parents get involved.
	I've been in certain weddings where it's just like, this is a wedding for the parents.
	Yeah.
	And like, or for God or whatever it is.
	And I think sometimes that can subtract from those moments between the people who love each other.
	Yeah.
	And the reason why I'm at weddings now is I need to see that raw, unfiltered love, bro.
	I need to see two people go at it because they know this is the time.
	Yeah.
	You get to say how you feel about that person in front of other people and you better come correct.
	That's the speech, Molly.
	That's what you want, bro.
	You want the verbal Molly, bro.
	Yes, bro.
	Oh, beautiful.
	It was beautiful.
	I love it.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I get wedding crashers now.
	I never understood the concept.
	That's not why they're crashing.
	They're not?
	No, they're trying to hook up with me.
	I think this movie is called crashers.
	Do the vows again.
	Bro, deal with vows again.
	I need to see more vows, dude.
	I need to see people renew their vows.
	I like that.
	That's what I'm going to do.
	Renew your vows.
	Yeah, I think every five years.
	Exactly.
	Because that's what we really want.
	Yo, you know what?
	If you celebrate, I don't know if y'all, an anniversary like party where your friends and family get together, you should have to do a speech.
	Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
	If everybody's gathering around to celebrate your love, you got to tell each other how you feel for real.
	Yeah, I think it's a good reminder.
	I think it's good to show your kids, your kids get to go and be like, oh, wow, our parents really love each other.
	This is so cool.
	And then you get to invite all your new friends that you've made over the years all to this thing.
	Yeah.
	And then the other benefit for me is it doesn't have to be necessarily as religious.
	So like there's no like pressure to do it in a church.
	I could just go to like an awesome venue, get a boat somewhere, ride around, and then do vows and then party.
	It's a sick birthday party.
Renewing Wedding Vows 00:14:58
	Yeah, really.
	Yeah, it's a birthday for your new life.
	And that's awesome.
	You guys are one.
	Yeah, you guys have birthdays.
	Oh, yeah.
	This is, yeah.
	You start, you're at zero when you get married.
	That's your new life.
	You're age zero.
	And then every year is the angle.
	And you get to restart the honeymoon period.
	Yeah, because you're reflecting on how much you love that person, how much they love you.
	And now you just want to pour into each other again.
	Yeah.
	Billion dollar business we just thought of.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's what I'm saying.
	So, and then on top of that, as your net worth grows, you can also do better and better parties.
	My wedding is very small and kind of cheap.
	I had no money.
	You're not factoring in kids.
	Probably going to get shittier and shittier, actually.
	But maybe more fun because then you got the kids in the mix.
	100 anniversary is at a Chuck E. Cheese.
	It's going to be fun.
	Maybe the most fun, actually.
	All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because we got to talk.
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	Now let's get back to the show.
	Yesterday we had a little friendly competition.
	Obviously, you know, we are New York City's premium premium.
	Premier's the new ad guy.
	Unbelievable.
	Obviously, we are New York City's premier paddle ambassadors.
	Padel, if you will.
	Yeah.
	I think we might switch it back to paddle.
	We'll have a conversation.
	So we went and played Padel.
	It was Mark Dove.
	We should probably get Dove in for this conversation.
	Just text him so he can come in.
	And Alex Media, we go.
	I almost didn't get to go, my boy.
	Why?
	I didn't really ask the wife.
	You know, it was a day with the wife.
	Yeah.
	And I was like.
	Great group text.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Should we go through the group text?
	The group text is kind of funny in real time.
	This guy had a permission.
	That's something I wasn't ready for.
	Permission.
	Hey, are we doing anything?
	Because I was going to go hang out with my friends unless I was doing something less fun with you.
	Just let me know.
	So overzealous.
	Okay, so here's the way I looked at it, right?
	I need to work out.
	I've been eating bread all weekend, right?
	Yeah.
	I need to get a workout in.
	So I figured we might as well do Padell because it's a way more entertaining workout.
	It's way more fun than like going down to the gym and fucking jogging or something like that.
	So my wife, she knows that I'm going to work out.
	So I'll be like, all right, instead of going to the gym, I'm just going to go play Padel.
	What's the difference?
	There's no difference.
	You're gone for an hour.
	I'm gone for an hour, plus another hour when I'm with you and she's not there.
	Also, commute time, you know what I mean?
	30 minutes back and forth.
	Three times as long.
	Yeah.
	But in my mind, there's no time to finish whatsoever.
	Fitness is fitness, right?
	Fitness, dig in your mouth.
	Come on.
	I didn't say who or what.
	I didn't say that.
	Catch me.
	You didn't catch me.
	Bro, I would have put that in my valves if I could run it back.
	Yo, you have to catch your, bro.
	I almost got caught big time, bro.
	I almost got caught on Instagram.
	This dude, this dude got me.
	It was so close.
	I mean, I'm talking about buzzer beater.
	I have to get it up and then we're going to get back to this Padel story real quick.
	But this was at the buzzer, I saved myself.
	My man hits me up.
	He goes, yo, man, I've been listening to these lectures by a professor named Howard Dietz for a few years now.
	And last week in his live stream, he mentioned you as a pioneer in New York's third golden age of comedy.
	Now, it tapped into my ego.
	I was like, these professors finally are teaching some real shit.
	You know what I mean?
	These professors are finally pointing out greatness.
	Third golden age, of course.
	And then I was like, hold on one second.
	Let me just make sure.
	Let me just make sure that this person's real.
	So I googled Howard Dietz, right?
	There ain't no Howard Diets.
	It's a Michael Dietz.
	And my ego is still leading me astray.
	And I was like, well, maybe it's Michael Howard Dietz or something like that.
	Come on.
	I'm all in at this point.
	I'm all in.
	I go to YouTube to try to see if I can find a professor.
	No professor.
	And I go, Howard Deeds, nuts in your mouth.
	Holy shit.
	This guy was good.
	And I said, I hit him back.
	I was masking.
	I was masking.
	I was like, ha ha ha.
	Thought you could catch the king.
	He goes, I thought I had it in the back.
	I go, I ain't going to lie.
	If you Google it, that's a half-guess.
	But I didn't get him with Dahoo.
	I didn't get him a hoover for real.
	That was solid.
	That was very solid.
	Okay, Padell.
	Jeff got called in, so I think I know how this went.
	Okay.
	I don't know.
	How'd it go?
	How'd it go?
	I mean, it's not a competition.
	We're just playing for fun, really, when you think about it.
	We were at Paddle House in Dumbo.
	Fantastic facility.
	Fantastic facility with very bouncy flexi glass walls.
	I'm getting one up in Hudson Yards.
	There's one in Hudson Yards, which is very far.
	I will never go there to play Padella.
	And I'll never.
	Getting him to Brooklyn is already crazy.
	It's the traffic.
	It's the San Janniro Festival.
	The traffic on canals brutal.
	Also, the Brooklyn people.
	I just fucking, it's the worst, bro.
	It's the worst.
	Not native.
	If you're a Brooklyn transplant, you suck.
	All right, that's serious.
	So you're kind of talking about my YouTube stream.
	I'm targeted.
	Okay, so let's just.
	If you're a Brooklyn transplant, I'm not going to get it.
	You're just like from some fucking state like Florida and Brooklyn.
	Get fucked.
	Hyper-specific.
	Now, here's the thing.
	What happened?
	Why don't you guys just say what happened?
	What happened?
	I'm going to be honest.
	I had a bad day.
	Bro, Mark was in the spin cycle on the Padel.
	I had a bad day.
	It was unbelievable.
	Have you never experienced Mark in this state?
	Yesterday was bad.
	Mark, we played over the weekend.
	Mark is a fucking superhero.
	Okay.
	We played when we were out in Long Island.
	Okay.
	I've been playing a lot.
	That's not fair.
	Been taking lessons.
	No, and tennis, a real sport.
	It's the same thing, but no, it's not.
	It's clearly, you have to hit it.
	Alex, don't do this real sport thing.
	We are doing that until I get good, and then it's real.
	Alex is pretty horrible.
	No, better than Mark.
	Not even close.
	It's not him.
	Not even close.
	On my worst day.
	I won more games in here.
	On my worst day.
	Yeah, but I carried you.
	I won more games.
	I had to put you on my back.
	You, my little baby bird.
	I won with Dove and I won with you.
	No, no, no.
	Yes, I did.
	I was having a fun.
	I beat you.
	No, you didn't.
	Dub, did we not beat them?
	We beat you the first time.
	Come on, son.
	Okay.
	I wanted to then run it back.
	And I'm a beginner.
	Okay, because I knew Mark was in his head.
	I was having a bad game.
	First of all, who won the most?
	Let's just acknowledge.
	Andrew won the most.
	Thank you.
	So that's just baseline before y'all talk shit.
	Second of all, you try to do all this tennis stuff out there.
	It's really adorable.
	Like when he swings, he goes like this.
	It's really funny.
	Like on his forehand, when he said, you can tell he's been taking lessons.
	When he swings, he goes, he goes, Yeah.
	That's what they told you.
	Exaggerated.
	He go in the ping-pong paddle, bro.
	Just tap that shit.
	I heard him grunt, right?
	He'd be grunting.
	Yeah.
	But that's how I was taught.
	So it's fucking motor memory.
	Anyway, muscle memory.
	Call myself.
	Anyway, so we play a few games.
	Do you appreciate the game more now?
	Yeah, no, it's fun.
	It's fun.
	It's really fun.
	It is very different than tennis, obviously.
	Yes.
	It's a fun thing.
	And tennis is more.
	No, but now do you realize that it is more sport than it is game?
	Yeah.
	Tennis is full-on sport, 100%.
	But it's way more sport than pickleball.
	Pickleball is game.
	Yes.
	Especially for him.
	It's a contact sport.
	He almost smashed the player.
	Oh, into the wall the whole time.
	He was playing hockey.
	It was me.
	I go hard.
	His face print is still on the side of the place.
	If you look at it, you can see his face just pressed into the side.
	Can we talk about this emotional, or I don't even know if it's more of a psychological wormhole that you were in?
	What was going on?
	I have no idea.
	What was happening in your head?
	Disconnected from mind and body.
	That's really what it is.
	Disassociation, full-on.
	And then you started playing pre-vimp.
	Yeah.
	You were trying to prevent the fuck-up.
	So, like, he was just trying to get it over.
	And then when you fuck up doing that, then you're out.
	You get very in your head.
	I get that.
	This used to happen to me when I would play soccer when I was younger.
	Interesting.
	I would have an amazing game and then just random.
	I'd wake up and I just wouldn't, I wasn't there.
	And were you worried about what we would think of you?
	Like, what, where was the insecurity coming from?
	Everything.
	I think I'm coming.
	Coming to the podcast.
	Did we talk about how bad we went?
	No, because you murdered it.
	There was literally the weekend when we were in Long Island.
	He was murdering it.
	Yeah.
	You actually helped.
	I was wow.
	It is weird the moments he chooses to be sympathetic, isn't it?
	No, he's really being nice right now because he hates when he plays and then he targets all the other people.
	I hate you with a passion.
	You didn't target me once.
	With a passion with a passion, I hate it.
	Come on.
	What do you mean?
	Also, also, we're going to get back to this.
	But Dove is a total pussy.
	He's clearly the person who's played the most.
	Alex and him are playing on the same team, and it's like match point or something like that.
	And in match point, the defending team gets to decide who gets the serve.
	And Dove was going to let Alex get the team.
	Fucking lie.
	Tell him that's a lie and blow it for his team.
	Tell him that.
	That's not true.
	Blow it for his team.
	He was going to let Alex lose the match.
	That's all he had.
	He was going to let Alex lose.
	What are you doing?
	Fucking victimization bullshit.
	Get out of here.
	But you're the victim here, Alex.
	I am.
	You're the victim.
	I'm the beginner.
	Busting ass.
	Okay, Dove, Dove.
	Okay, so we go through this.
	So you're in your head.
	This happened a little bit.
	You're saying, I got you out of it.
	How did I get you out of it?
	No, you helped.
	Because you said, because you've acknowledged that it was happening.
	Oh, yeah.
	If I, if I, because my thought is like, oh, I don't want to ruin it for everyone.
	I'm ruining it for you.
	I'm ruining it for my teammate.
	Yeah.
	And my failure is affecting everyone.
	And that's awful.
	So he's coach prime out there.
	But he helped.
	He looked at me and he goes, oh, yeah, just keep on thinking about it.
	Yeah.
	If you want to keep on thinking about it, you could ruin the whole game.
	Just keep thinking about it.
	I was like, oh, he knows I'm not doing good.
	That means now I have permission to do good.
	And then I hit the ball against the wall.
	I faulted essentially, or I, what is it called?
	Lost a point?
	I don't know what the terminology is, but it's right against the wall.
	And I pretended like I was doing that to support him.
	But I wasn't.
	I wasn't doing that to support him at all.
	Yeah, he was just fucking like rubbing off on me.
	Yeah, the bad vibes.
	Yeah.
	Man, it was a weird thing, but I feel like I got out of it towards the end.
	Yeah, you did.
	And we won, obviously.
	But rough, though.
	But it was rough.
	I'm not going to lie.
	When Alex and I played together, we busted it.
	It was dominant.
	It was dominant.
	Come on.
	No, we could run that back.
	I was playing with a broken mark.
	Yeah, we can run that back.
	I PTSD.
	I shell shot.
	Alex and I had good teamwork.
	That's what I would chalk it up to.
	I think we had good teamwork.
	And you guys were both trying to jockey for who was going to score the most.
	When you and Alex, you had to play with the best.
	Alex had no ego.
	It's no ego.
	Because you played up against the net, and then Alex disappeared.
	And so when he wasn't there, that's when you are really good.
	Are you really going to sit there?
	Are you going to let that happen?
	Every person who played against you targets you because you're the worst on the court.
	You are the worst.
	Yesterday, I was the worst.
	Andrew will come to your side.
	I can't talk to you.
	And then Dove hit me with the ball once, really close, proximity, slammed it right at my fucking chest, and then apologized immediately after like a little bitch.
	Now you do that.
	He did it on purpose.
	And he's like, oh, sorry, sorry.
	No, no, no.
	That's part of the thing.
	Now you do it and then you just give him one of these.
	That's tennis.
	You just hit the motherfucker.
	That's it.
	That's how you do.
	I don't wave my hand out.
	It's like a very phony, like, you also could have just blocked it.
	Yeah, I could have.
	Damn.
	How many bad days does Mark get till I'm back in the group chat for this?
	Yo, that's true.
	Dove kept you out of the group chat.
	I was like, we should ask Miles.
	And then Dub goes, I have a friend.
	How fucked up is that?
	That's a lie.
	Damn.
	Your name did not come up.
	God damn it.
	It's what it did.
	I said Alex.
	I said Alex.
	I said Miles.
	He's Blacker.
	Blacker.
	No, we said Alex and Miles.
	Nope.
	And then you probably said Alex.
	No, you said Alex.
	I wanted you, to be honest.
	He's been Alex.
	He said Alex.
	He's doing it again.
	Honestly, it's a little Palmer, dude.
	It's fine.
	Dude, am I assuming that?
	You're making a mixture.
	Don't worry.
	Asalmano Palmer.
	Okay, So the question is now, do we create teams and have like a real tournament?
	And then film it.
	Exactly.
	And is Akash willing to play?
	Oh, okay, that's fine.
	I've never played, so we'll probably be the worst.
	But you have played the most tennis.
	You're the best at tennis.
	But I, dude, that was high school.
	I barely played in the last 15 years.
	They're going to count us out so much.
	This would be so fun if we want to.
	I just signed Jamil up for open play or for the clinic.
	He's going to join.
	When is the tournament?
	Well, I don't know.
	We have to figure it out, but we ought to get a little more playing down.
	Yeah.
	NYC Padel, man.
	The ambassadors.
	We're the ambassadors of NYC Padel.
	Akash and Miles might take the whole thing, dude.
	That'd be so funny.
	You guys are the Arnold Palmer of tennis.
	You look at you guys together.
	You're like, yo, mix these guys up.
	That's what you need.
	Yeah, dude.
	No, we're going to run it back.
	Let's play.
	We'll film it.
	I had to stop playing tennis because an FBI informant really just ruined my career, dude.
	No.
	Yeah.
	I was a terrorist or the whole thing.
	Yeah.
	And then you had to stop playing?
	Yeah, I had to stop playing, man.
	Just really, I'm a victim, dude.
	Jesus, such a victim.
	Must be difficult.
	You know who's not a victim?
Deion's Player Confidence 00:09:19
	Deion Sanders.
	Never sees himself like that.
	He's a victor.
	I love it.
	What a legend.
	What a fucking legend.
	Dude, thank you for that compliment, dude.
	You sent out Coach Prime out there.
	You were big me up.
	I was like, oh, shit, I'm good at this.
	But you were balling.
	Yeah.
	We aced them.
	Yeah.
	We can run that back.
	I'm telling you.
	It was 4-0.
	Get me on a group.
	We're playing best of 400.
	4-0, though.
	But then I played with Dove, and then we 4-0'd you.
	No, no, I didn't force it.
	We did.
	The first game, we 4-0.
	And that's why you're like, nah, fuck that running back, same teams.
	And you stopped doing the whole rotation.
	Yeah, yeah, you did.
	No, it was 4-1.
	No, no, we won one.
	We won one.
	No, it was threes.
	I think it was 3-3, and then they won.
	That's the second game.
	Second game.
	I don't know what they did.
	They went like that.
	Anyway.
	We'll run it back.
	I know in tennis, if you beat someone like Navzer Games, when you call it bageling them.
	Yeah, we bagel them.
	We bageled them.
	Yeah, we bageled them.
	Anyway, the point is, Deion Sanders is one of these human beings that has existed in history that has an unbelievable gravitational force whenever he does anything.
	Yes.
	Now, obviously, he did it with immense skill when he was playing sports, right?
	He was a showstopper.
	You had to watch him.
	He was so exciting.
	I mean, the guy was so exciting that you would watch him play defense.
	That's really rare.
	Think about that.
	And watch him play defense in a position when the better you are, the less you're targeted.
	Yes.
	That's crazy.
	The entire time at the Cowboys, he never, I used to be mad because I was young.
	He would never get interceptions.
	And then you got older and you're like, oh, they're just going to throw it in.
	There's a.
	And I still cared.
	Yeah.
	It's interesting.
	We're watching him not play.
	Yeah.
	That's how interesting it is.
	But it just goes to show he is just one of those individuals that is born in history that has a gravitational force around him and you just can't keep your eyes off.
	He is a star.
	He is the hit factor.
	All those things you speak about with like Hollywood superstars, whatever it is, that is Deion Sanders.
	And when you match that confidence and bravado with success, we're all in.
	You're talking about like Conor McGregor when he's just blasting through everybody in a lightweight.
	Now it's early.
	They played Colorado State, who they should have.
	I think the spread is 23.
	They're going to win by 20.
	And they only won by seven with a comeback in overtime, I think.
	But like.
	And they lost one of their key guys.
	Yeah, that was a cheap shot against Travis Hunter, who's, along with Deion's son, Shadura, is probably the second best player on the team as a cheap shot took away the game.
	And he's a two-way player.
	That's the biggest thing.
	He plays both sides.
	Yeah.
	So I do think that affected the way the game turned out.
	But yeah, the guy is fucking unbelievable.
	I just hope he keeps it going.
	And it'd be awesome to see him keep it going for, you know, right now.
	We have no reason to think that he won't.
	But outside of football, he's just this amazing human being.
	Like anytime he talks, you want to listen.
	Yep.
	Anytime he's on the TV, you want to watch.
	You want to see him react to things.
	Everything that he does is interesting in the best way.
	He's like the positive version of a 24-hour Twitch streamer.
	Like it's not car crash, car crash, car crash.
	It's motivation, motivation, motivation.
	Success, success, success.
	It is possible to do it.
	You just need to be that much more talented to do it with positivity and success.
	He's a less divisive Trump.
	Yeah, Trump really divides everyone.
	Prime divides you a little bit, but for the most part, most people are all in.
	Bro, getting his mom there, did you see that?
	No.
	He goes, because he did this.
	I don't know if it was post or pre, but he does a thing about it.
	They talked about me.
	You could talk the three things you can't talk about.
	You can't talk about me.
	You can't talk about you guys.
	You can't talk about my mama.
	And he had his mom there with him in the locker room.
	And his mom talks.
	I just told him to be yourself.
	And sometimes you need a kick ass.
	So get out there and kick ass.
	And you're just like, oh, my, I'll run through a fucking wall for this guy.
	And this is what's also brilliant is he's always, as a college coach, you are always recruiting.
	Next year's class, you got to recruit.
	Everybody right now wants to go to college.
	So here's the thing.
	This is the Elon Musk marketing version of recruiting.
	If Elon is the ambassador, the mascot for Tesla, he doesn't need to put an ad in the Super Bowl.
	He doesn't need to put an ad on the NBA games.
	He doesn't need to spend all this money on marketing.
	He's the marketing.
	He is the mascot CEO.
	Prime is getting so much attention on his team.
	If you're an NFL prospect, you definitely want the eyeballs because you're going to get the option.
	I haven't watched a college football game ever.
	Yeah, dude, in its entirety ever, probably.
	I've watched pieces of it.
	You grew up in New York, football is not popular, one, and college sports are not popular.
	That's just so crazy.
	I know.
	I've watched pieces, but like a full start to finish, maybe one of the, what is it, the national championship game or something like that, because I was at a party, but like full, no, I'm invested in Colorado all of a sudden.
	Yeah.
	I'm invested.
	And that is a function of him.
	So if I'm a young athlete, one, I want to play for greatness.
	If you're telling me I'm a young defensive specialist, you're saying I'm a young corner coming out of high school.
	You're telling me that I'm going to any other school besides Deion Sanders.
	Yes.
	It's I can learn from the greatest to do.
	And on top of that, now you see what his son is doing at quarterback.
	And you're like, bro, if I'm a quarterback, he barely knows how to coach quarterbacks.
	Look what he did with his son.
	So this is what you were saying about like, you don't have to advertise and recruit as much.
	Like Nick Sabin for Alabama, who's been maybe the greatest college coach ever, probably.
	He doesn't really have to get out there and recruit as much as he did because, you know, because the program recruits.
	Deion did that without a championship.
	He's three games into being at a good, like a big name college.
	And three games in, recruits are watching him bring his mom out next year's recruits for the speech and being like, I like that guy.
	I want to play with the, I want to play with that guy.
	Now, here's the question.
	Warren Sapp's already on the coaching stuff.
	How many other either NFL coaches or ex-NFL players decide, you know what?
	I don't want to deal with these pain in the ass professional athletes, make them way more than me, telling me to go fuck myself, telling me I can't tell them what to do, et cetera.
	I would rather take slightly less money.
	I mean, if you've got a real name, maybe it's, again, I don't know the pay differential when it comes to assistant coaches, but take less money for way less headache, way more fun, and way more excitement for the players.
	And please believe, I'm assuming Colorado, if they continue to have this type of success, is not only going to generate more revenue for the program, but might get more TV revenue if you're getting more marquee games, right?
	Yeah.
	Is that how it works?
	Yeah.
	So I think you have a contract and then there's probably bonuses built in, but when your contract is up, you can renew.
	So he's going to make Colorado so much money if he stays there for them.
	And you can afford to grow the program.
	Yeah.
	And what if you get some of these guys?
	Yeah, dude.
	Fuck.
	And if you're like Chad Ojosinko, I don't know if he has any interest in coaching, but he's so charismatic.
	Recruiting, not even a fucking question.
	Are you going to go to me or Jimbo Fisher at A ⁇ M?
	But also think about that, like playing for your heroes.
	Oh, that's fine.
	That's fine.
	The only thing I'm a little bit worried is that, so Deion does a great job in terms of balancing confidence and motivation, but the players I'm starting to see are kind of just like a whole lot of confidence.
	And if that team with all the eyes on it, I think they might turn heel where people are going to be like, yo, this is too confident.
	Y'all talking too much.
	And now they're just going to see them lose.
	You know what I think?
	You know, I think will happen is Connor was a face as long as he was winning.
	Everybody was rocking for him.
	You want to continue to watch Connor win.
	He was knocking people out in tremendous fashion.
	It's justified.
	The arrogance was justified.
	The confidence was justified.
	And we'd like to follow that leader in that regard, like as human beings.
	But the second the arrogant, confident person loses, we love to pile on.
	So I think that what you're describing might happen with casuals after a loss.
	But if they continue to win, the way that they're winning, and yeah, granted, it was a close game against a team that they should have maybe blown out.
	But if they continue, I don't see any reason why people will resent them.
	Bayweather.
	But here's the thing with Bayweather.
	He kept winning, and then it got to a point where people just wanted to see him lose.
	But Bayweather won in a way that people didn't want to see.
	When Mike Tyson was just knocking people out, he loved it.
	Loved it.
	So you got to knock him out.
	It can't be win off of.
	You can't keep doing this.
	You're favorite by 23, skate by, eek by.
	But like what they did at TCU, who I think it was also a close game, but they were good and you beat them and nobody saw they're coming.
	We're going to love it.
	This weekend.
	The schedule is going to this weekend.
	You know what it is?
	Talk to us.
	Oregon.
	Ranked 10.
	At Oregon, which if anyone knows that, that's the loudest stadium and it's a smaller one.
	That is.
	Next week's harder after that.
	USC.
	USC ranked number five.
	They have the Heisman.
	They got the best quarterback.
Drake's New Album Plans 00:10:24
	Yeah.
	Better than Shadur, maybe Caleb Wayne.
	So that's when you need Travis Hunter kickback.
	You need him playing on both sides of the board.
	He's out for weeks, I think.
	Yeah.
	Okay, well, let's go.
	This is what teams are built to do.
	All right, let's do some picks.
	Let's do some prize picks.
	Your boy kind of got smoked last weekend.
	I ain't going to lie.
	I thought I'd be nice, but I got kind of smoked.
	So we need to go with the Akash locks right now, okay?
	Okay.
	Prize picks.
	Make sure y'all go do it.
	Dance with us.
	Time to dance.
	Akash.
	Okay, bet.
	Chargers and Vikings are playing next week.
	They say Justin Herbert is going to have 295.5 passing yards, more or less.
	I think he's going to have less.
	Done.
	I did this one.
	Yeah.
	I think Dak Prescott, they got 227.5 passing yards against the Cardinals.
	I think the Cardinals are really bad.
	I think Dak will have more than that.
	Done.
	And then Miles Sanders, the running back for the Carolina Panthers, they say 12.5 receiving yards.
	I think that's easy enough to beat.
	I think that's just something you got to go with.
	So I'm going to bet $20 to win 100.
	Wow.
	5X.
	Okay, so those are the Akash locks.
	Honestly, never has gone wrong ever.
	No.
	I'll quote somebody.
	Bitcoin too.
	Allegedly.
	Yeah, whatever he bets on, it usually works out.
	100%.
	Remember your wedding gift.
	Exactly.
	Yes.
	Make sure you make your bets.
	Prize picks.
	Okay.
	Go get it.
	Prizepicks.com.
	Use the promo code Schultz S-C-H-U-LZ.
	They're going to match 100% of that initial deposit bonus up to $100.
	You put $100, they give you $100, and then you get busy right over there with the Akash locks or whatever locks that you want to put in.
	Let's get back to the show, boys.
	We have to talk about very important cultural phenomenons right now.
	Oh, yeah.
	Hallie Berry is absolutely furious that Drake used her picture of her getting slimed for the cover of his song.
	I believe it's a single.
	It's not for the album.
	Also, side notes, phenomenal rollout to this album.
	He has held the conversation about the album coming out for how long?
	A month?
	A month and a half.
	At least a month or a month and a half.
	He's just controlled the conversation.
	And I'm like, as long as you can milk it, you milk it because you can always drop the album and then all those people that were excited are going to go listen.
	They're going to listen once the album drops.
	We know that for a fact.
	So it's how long can you get people listening or no, talking about it, helping you promote it, speaking it to their friends without you actually dropping?
	A month and a half is fantastic.
	Fantastic.
	And also having like the IQ or the EQ to know what the energy is.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Are people talking about it?
	Okay, let's drop something.
	Oh, it's good.
	Let's coast for a little bit.
	And then when the album eventually drops, it'll be the right time.
	But not being so locked into an exact date that you're going to be doing.
	So what makes the right time?
	Does it have to be the peak of the people talking about it?
	I don't think it does.
	No, I think they calculate a few things like who else is dropping that weekend.
	If all the clearances for the samples.
	That usually.
	There's still work being done.
	That usually pushes things back a lot.
	Got it.
	Yeah.
	Because he said somewhere he's like, I could either stop doing some shows and finish this album or we could push the album back.
	And I don't want to cancel the shows.
	Who's going to want you to cancel this show?
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Just really, this is a really interesting rollout to control the conversation for a month and a half.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Bro, it's hard to hold energy for a week.
	But he's Drake, bro.
	He's Drake.
	No, really, really well done.
	Okay.
	But what we're really talking about this is Hallie Berry thing.
	Is she really mad?
	Is she fake mad?
	Should she be mad?
	Didn't he ask her and she said no?
	No, she's saying he never asked her permission.
	Oh, okay.
	That's different.
	Yeah.
	I'm like, he should be mad.
	Sorry.
	She should be mad.
	But does she own the picture?
	That's the thing.
	I don't even know if it's up to her to get the permission.
	Unless he smashed.
	It kind of makes me feel like he smashed.
	Because otherwise, why would he call her?
	Does he have your number?
	Are you guys talking?
	Is there a personal connection?
	He's Drake.
	He can get in contact with anyone if he needs to.
	Oh, I'm saying I don't think Hallie's at the level where he talk to her like that.
	I mean, she's a legend.
	She's Hallie.
	She's a legend, but that's more like, you know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	That's Hallie, bro.
	She still looks great.
	Holly Berry, Holly.
	Salvingly beautiful.
	She's still that's the icon.
	That's the icon, maybe.
	Getting slimed up.
	Slimed out.
	That pig is kind of fire.
	I mean, he did it.
	Too.
	Yeah.
	Slimed from the back.
	Nah, that was a Mexican alien come right there.
	That's why she's upset.
	Tastes a little spicy.
	Yeah, we got to talk about that Mexican aliens.
	But yeah, so what's the thing?
	I mean, this is just great for him.
	More controversy, more people talking about it, more things.
	Of course, he's not going to ask.
	And if it's called For All the Dogs, he's being a dog.
	Also, her criticism was not that bad.
	It was like, man, for someone I respect, I wish you asked.
	Yeah.
	I was like, that's a very like.
	But also, if she says anything, it's news.
	TMZ's picking it up.
	It's more marketing.
	It's almost like Hallie, he can't ask.
	He can't ask because by not asking, you'll talk about it and then create news.
	If he puts it out and you, yeah, he asked me, he was so sweet and polite and kind.
	And he offered me royalties.
	And it was just, he's just the best person.
	No news story at all.
	Yeah.
	I think, didn't Kanye kind of do that with the famous music video?
	With it had all the people in it.
	Oh, everyone in the billers in it.
	Yeah.
	And like, it just, if you're in the video, it's like, what's your comment?
	What do you have to say about you being in this very famous video?
	Everyone commented.
	Either they comment or they don't comment.
	And then, oh, what does the not comment mean?
	What's going on?
	It's just like create, you're just pulling people into your orbit.
	And Drake did this with the 21 album rollout when he did the fake Vogue cover.
	And then Vogue was really upset about that.
	And then they sued him.
	And so that was a whole big story around the album.
	So that's fantastic.
	He's just big enough now that pulling people into his orbit is a lot easier.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But yeah, something to think about, man.
	The rollout is really impressive.
	That's amazing.
	Yes, it's really, really impressive.
	And I wonder if other artists try to create something similar.
	Also, it helps that he's already touring.
	This is another thing that I thought was interesting.
	I figured you dropped the album a few months before you go tour, and then you tour that album plus your old stuff.
	But he starts the tour and teases the album during the tour.
	Now you're teasing the album during peak conversation about you already because you're touring.
	So you're not even worried about touring this album just yet.
	And I wonder if that's because you'll never tour an album again.
	When people go see a Drake show, they need to see this.
	They need to see all the things.
	Yeah.
	You ain't going to just tour your little album.
	You're going to play the hits.
	So if he's going, maybe he's going, well, if I got to play the hits no matter what, it don't matter when I drop.
	And if there's bangers on this one, they want to see it on the next tour.
	If there ain't, people are less inclined to buy tickets for the tour because they're like, oh, I didn't like this album.
	Is he touring this album?
	I didn't even know musicians just toured albums like that.
	I thought they were always playing hits because there's so much replay value for fans.
	What they usually would do back in the day would do is tour the majority of the new album, plus a couple bangers.
	But it would be the...
	Okay.
	Yeah, now I think it's flopped.
	Like flip-flop.
	So it's like now it's majority of that catalog.
	A couple from the new track.
	Is Defined Drake or everyone?
	Everyone, pretty much.
	For example, Beyonce is doing the old songs that are the super smash hits, but she is doing the majority of this new album.
	And that was Taylor from Brilliant Idiots.
	She was bothered by that.
	She's like, I kind of wanted more of the hits.
	I didn't want all of this album because you might not fall in love with this album just yet.
	Yeah.
	It takes time to fall in love with an album a lot of times.
	And it might just not be your best album.
	So what protects the tour is knowing that they're going to go see the whole show.
	It's just a Drake show.
	You're coming to see Drake.
	And forever, it will be Drake.
	And I think it would be a mistake if you drop an album while on tour because the tour set track, everything is like planned out.
	And to change something this late in the game, what happens if one song super slaps?
	Oh, wow.
	So what you're saying, which I think is genius, what you're saying is, is that he was never going to put the album out in the first place.
	Correct.
	100%.
	I think so.
	And that makes perfect sense.
	Of course, why would you put the album out?
	If it succeeds, it throws off your track list.
	If it fails, now people are talking about the album that isn't that good.
	And that could tarnish the excitement of the tour.
	Use the excitement of the tour to build the hype for the album that you drop the second after the tour is done.
	I think the album drops during the tour.
	No.
	I do.
	I think that he kind of confirmed it.
	It can't.
	He said he'll have to miss some dates or finish the tour and then the album.
	So he basically just told you the album's not coming.
	Now, here's the question.
	Does he, because I think right now he's only toured America and North America?
	I believe so.
	Yeah, I don't think he did international.
	So he's going to do that.
	Yeah, it's true.
	Might not.
	He might not.
	Not everybody tours internationally every single album.
	It seems crazy to pass up that money.
	Yeah, it just feels like he is, there's just so much money to be made from it.
	I mean, or he could remix it a little bit once the new album drops or then now add some of the new songs just to give it, you know.
	And then now he almost created a reason for people to go see him internationally.
	Yeah.
	Like American fans to even be like, yo, I'm flying to blah, blah, blah to go check him because he's going to, he has, you know, songs from the new album.
	And I bet you on the new album, he'll probably have a few UK, European, African artists.
	So now when he does the international tour, now they're all popping into those shows and creating more excitement.
	So that's why you have this shit with Central C that just dropped.
	That's buzzing right now.
	So when he goes to London and they do that on the radar shit, that shit is going to go off.
	Yeah.
	Also, his dates only go up to October 7th.
	So he'll probably wait.
	Because right now he said that he's dropping when?
Central Cee London Dates 00:03:25
	October 6th?
	Or he might line it up with the OVO shit, which then that would be like crazy.
	That makes even more sense.
	Like OVO Fest is in October, right?
	So of course you're going to drop it around then.
	And then you do the big festival in Toronto and then you play some of it at the festival.
	Like all this makes perfect sense.
	That's what Kev was saying.
	Dropping in September actually seems so crazy.
	You have to drop an October OVO.
	And if that's by design, that's genius.
	That's genius.
	Now, everybody's talking about it for months before it comes out.
	By the time it finally comes out, you're so fucking hyped.
	Yeah, I bet you there'll be a lot of international artists on some on this album.
	Yeah, the one coming out.
	Like burn a boy.
	Yeah, like that.
	That'd be fire.
	Central C.
	Yeah.
	Watch.
	All right, guys, let's take a break for a second because we need to get a little bit more efficient.
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	What's TW Miles?
Missing F-35 Fighter Jet 00:06:01
	Taiwan.
	Taiwan, KR, Korea, and WAS SGP, Singapore.
	Now, let's get back to the show.
	And we're back.
	Here's something I don't understand.
	This story is going out that America lost an F-35.
	Okay, so F-35 or these like crazy jets in America spent all this money developing.
	And then did Tom Cruise fly one in Maverick?
	No.
	Okay.
	Don't know it.
	But basically, they would have flown the F-35 in Maverick, but they have to fly with somebody else.
	So they had to use a two-person job.
	So it's that?
	Okay, got it.
	Got it.
	I think the F-35 is a single seat.
	But the F-35 can like take off from a sitting position.
	Oh, that's fine.
	Like off the aircraft carriers.
	I believe.
	Yeah.
	Aircraft.
	Yeah.
	So it's a fifth-generation fighter or whatever.
	And what does that mean?
	Yeah, it's just his parents' parents were born here.
	I don't, what does that mean?
	There's four other generations of fighters before it.
	Okay.
	So what are we up to now?
	This is five.
	This is fifth.
	Yeah, maybe they've developed a sixth one, but right now they've had four before this, and then each, they had a new one, a new one, and there's the fifth new one.
	We could be wrong about this, but I think that's pretty good.
	That's what I'm saying.
	It's pretty self-explanatory.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's a fifth generation fighter.
	How many generations were there?
	Well, at least 12.
	You go negatives.
	Yeah.
	No, so basically what happens, some people said that this plane was kind of like a dud.
	Like they spent all this money developing it and it didn't exactly work out the way that they wanted.
	Now, that could also be propaganda from us.
	Yeah.
	Like maybe they want to convince other countries.
	Yeah, the F-35s, you know, they spent all this money and it was really a bomb and they don't really work that well and they're not that great fighter.
	So you have nothing to worry about.
	So you never know, right?
	But some people say it was kind of a dud.
	Now, somehow, a pilot was flying it, ejected, and then the plane is just continuing to fly.
	And for some reason, they've shared this information with us.
	Like for some reason, the government is saying, hey, help us locate this aircraft if you can.
	What are you doing?
	What I don't understand is one, how is there no GPS on it?
	There has to be, because if there was another plane that was flying in our territory, we would know if it was there, we'd be tracking it the whole fucking time.
	So it makes no sense.
	And two, it's embarrassing to acknowledge that you've lost your plane.
	Yes.
	Why would you even promote that?
	It's just this story to me is so odd.
	It makes no sense.
	Do they have to tell the FAA?
	Like, if there's a plane flying around airspace?
	Bro, they didn't have to tell them that they faked the fucking Gulf of Tonkin shit.
	Like, we've been faking Army stuff for all the fucking time.
	There's been false flags every fucking 10 years.
	So it's like, just don't tell anybody about it.
	What if there's a plane flying around airspace?
	Yeah, what if it hits another commercial plane?
	They have to tell the FAA, like, hey, just so you guys know, there's a plane flying around.
	Apparently, it's a stealth fighter, and that's why it's hard to find.
	I mean, hey, at least you know, the fifth generation is good.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, I guess it just seems so odd.
	Okay, maybe they tell the FAA and then the FAA just sends out a message to everybody.
	You don't think Biden or somebody can call and just be like, just quiet?
	Wait, do what?
	Biden can call the FAA and be like, yo, keep it quiet.
	Mark just checked out.
	I know he heard it.
	I heard what he said.
	I was like, to keep it what?
	That was crazy.
	Mars playing Patti.
	Okay, so yeah, I just don't get it.
	Like, why would this story be promoted?
	Just seems so weird.
	U.S. don't care about its own optics anymore, it feels.
	It's just like, whatever.
	It's almost like they're like, we don't got to be perfect, which I don't like.
	Yeah, I want us to care about our optics.
	Yeah, I don't like this.
	So at this time of recording, it's still flying.
	I haven't heard that they found it.
	Yeah, nothing.
	But eventually it's going to run out of fuel.
	So there's a version of this, and we're just kind of like, you know, hypothesizing right now, but there's a version where like maybe it has some sort of homing mechanism or homing beacon where it can return home in the way that a drone does.
	You know, when a drone is running low on battery, it just automatically autopilot pilot takes it back.
	Maybe it has registered that there's been an ejection and now it goes, okay, it's my job to go land myself.
	And so maybe it's going to land itself somewhere.
	But if it is going to do that, just let it fucking land itself.
	Also, nobody's hiding an F-35.
	You know what I mean?
	If it lands on American soil, nobody's going to be like, yo, don't tell the government, we got an F-35.
	You can't use an F-35.
	No, if you found an F-35, you would keep it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I would keep it, but I don't know how to use it.
	But you'd use it for something.
	Also, you know why I wouldn't keep it?
	Why?
	Because we're promo.
	I would assume that they would under that the government would have a GPS on this shit.
	So I'd be like, oh, they're going to come collect it immediately.
	There's no way I think I could sneak an F-35.
	Nah, just take the air tag out.
	You'd be good.
	Yeah.
	It's really the air tag.
	100%.
	So yeah, I'm just like, it's just such an odd thing.
	Yeah, it's a little weird.
	Such an odd thing.
	They said for some unknown reason, the GPS isn't working.
	For some unknown reason, the GPS isn't working.
	I think they have to tell people just in case this shit crashes into someplace.
	Here's my guess.
	Another country hacked our F-35.
	The pilot realized he didn't have control and he calls to the base.
	The base goes, we don't have control.
	He's like, somebody else has hacked our shit.
	I'm ejecting.
	He manually ejects, right?
	Now the plane can go wherever the whatever country hijacked or alien hijacked it, right?
	We have to save face and say, because we don't want to start an all-out war because China hacked our shit.
	So we got to go, hey, there's been a malfunction.
	We're looking for an F-35.
	If you see it, by the way, just let us know.
	Or if you see one flying around erratically, just let you know.
	We've had some issues.
	The pilot tripped.
	He's no longer in the place.
	Exactly.
	Fell out, but he's going to be just okay.
	I think it might be one of those situations where, in order to save face, we have to do this very embarrassing thing, but it is less embarrassing than admitting that Russia, North Korea, China, India, whoever hijacked our plane.
	Nah, Brick, bro.
	Brick, dog.
	I did.
	I did.
	Learn about it.
	What else we got, boys?
Systemic Tax Evasion Issues 00:05:44
	Basically, Hunter Biden is trying to wrap up with some gun charges.
	So dumb.
	Isn't it funny the Republicans suddenly won gun control?
	Isn't that funny?
	All of a sudden, oh, whoa, you can't just let anybody buy a gun.
	Can you explain what the problem is?
	I don't know anything about this.
	So they said he lied about being addicted to cocaine and bought a purchased firearm, and you're not supposed to admit to this thing, I guess.
	Everyone lies about being addicted to cocaine.
	That's not fair.
	Right?
	Have you ever asked someone that likes cocaine?
	Like, yo, are you addicted?
	They got nothing.
	Yeah, I bet 90% of the people who own guns have done cocaine and actively do cocaine.
	100, like nobody's going to go, yeah, I'm doing cocaine or I do crack.
	And he was addicted to crack at the time.
	It is illegal, blah, blah, blah.
	But also, yeah, you don't have to say you're addicted.
	You just like it.
	I'm not addicted to Padel.
	But I do it like Hunter does crack, which is whenever he can.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah, honestly, it's a law that should be in place.
	You should have some laws that say, hey, if you're a drug addict, you should be able to buy a gun.
	But I have a hard time believing that drug addicts that want guns are going to be honest.
	Yeah, and I also have a hard time believing Republicans really give a fuck.
	That's a background thing.
	You want to marry now?
	They just can't pin any of the Ukraine shit on him, which is what you really should get him for.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	They went through billions of dollars of guns and they're like, all right, well, we have one that I think we can get on him.
	This is like when you get the gang on racketeering.
	Yeah.
	Like you can't get them on the drugs or the murder.
	Yeah, you got alcohol on tax evasion.
	Yes, exactly.
	I think Joe Biden, to appear tough on crime, he should sacrifice his son and be like, yo, throw the book at him, lock him up.
	And then once he gets re-elected, I'm pardoning you.
	It was a timeout.
	Yo, that's a winning move.
	He would win.
	He would 100% win.
	Everybody would respect him.
	This guy's about it, dude.
	It is hard to vote for a guy, though, if his son is in prison.
	But if he put him there, it's clear that he should be in prison.
	Yeah.
	I think he definitely gets the minority vote.
	How about that?
	No, I mean that, like, in terms of like, what?
	What do you think?
	No, I mean, that's serious.
	Like, I think like minority parents are like, yo, discipline the fuck out of your kids.
	Where like white parenting is like, well, let's just not have grades in school and let's just be a little bit more open-minded and understand.
	No timeouts.
	I love your shit.
	Your bit where you said, white parents are like, if you love flowers, be a flower.
	Yeah, just be a flower.
	Whatever you want.
	Like, so I think it's, I think this is a little, yeah, I don't know.
	That might work.
	I mean, the Hunter thing is just, how is this not even bigger?
	The president's son is a crackhead.
	How is that not the biggest story every single day of the week?
	I mean, they talk about it quite a bit.
	But like, it doesn't stick.
	Nobody cares.
	If Trump's son was a known crackhead, it would be non-fucking stop.
	And I bet one American News or whatever, they're talking about this shit all the time, to be fair.
	But the thing that annoys, I think, a lot of Republicans and moderates is mainstream media, meaning the channels we go to for news on TV, tends to lean liberal.
	It just does.
	Do you know what else I think it is?
	think that there are so many kids with drug problems that it's not novel it's weirdly related maybe this is the most relatable thing about him yeah i think that it's indicative like a real problem in america which is like people are addicted to fucking drugs so it's like if it's not your kids your friends kids were your friends kids went to rehab or these types of things it's like so normalized that maybe they even have empathy Because all these parents thought that they were good parents and their kid got addicted to drugs.
	So it's like, oh, maybe Biden wasn't a bad guy.
	And this is so tragic that his son got involved in this shit, just like my nephew or just like my niece.
	Like there's no way all of us don't have within one degree of separation somebody who is addicted to drugs.
	Right?
	Like, fuck, man.
	Maybe that's it.
	Maybe that's it.
	Like this, the whole opioid crisis, like all these things that are going down, it's just the most relatable fucking thing.
	Yeah.
	And that's why I'm like, I don't know if he should be in jail.
	Like when you said like, he obviously should be in prison.
	I was like, I don't know if he should be in prison.
	Well, I mean, by letter of the law, he probably breaks the law every time he buys crack cocaine.
	Yeah.
	I'm like.
	But prison for the Ukraine shit.
	Yeah.
	Like that stuff, of course.
	He's done a lot of shit.
	Yeah.
	And also, like, it's not even him that should be in prison.
	It's like, it's really probably Joe and like the people around Joe who have bent the law so they could profit off of their positions of power.
	And they basically place him in there as this person who can collect money and bribes, et cetera.
	You can have influence on the government.
	That seems like a systemic thing.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So it's like, it's not even his fault.
	And obviously he doesn't have a job or a passion because he's a drug addict.
	So yeah, we can place him in there to collect all the money.
	I think to be fair, that's what they're trying to impeach Biden for is to impeach him for that.
	And also every, this is, I mean, I'm not slippery slope.
	That's not slippery slope for us, but for them, y'all want to start impeaching because of inappropriate money?
	We would love that.
	But y'all possibly, it's like, it's like locking up rich people for not paying the same amount of, for tax evasion.
	And it's just like, well, they created the tax code.
	They're not evading taxes.
	They just found a way where they don't really have to pay that much.
	Before the law is written, they figured it out.
	Yeah.
	And where they write their laws.
	And the same thing goes with the president.
	It's like, he's not the first president to profit off of it.
	I mean, when fucking Hillary Clinton was in the State Department, the Clinton Foundation was getting these donations to the tune of like tens of millions of dollars.
	And the second she's out of the State Department, 90% of the funding washed up.
	Why do we think that is?
	Yeah.
	Right.
	We need some influence.
	And if you're another country, you should be paying for that influence.
	How do I get in the room with Barack?
	How do I get in?
	Oh, how do I get in the room with, wait, who was she?
	She was under Barack, right?
	Yeah.
	How do I get in the room with Barack?
	Oh, well, if I have some influence over that lady who's, you know, the, what is it?
Presidential Legacy Debates 00:15:49
	The, what is the name of the position?
	The secretary of secretary of state.
	So it's like real, real state planning, real, like, what is America going to do in the world?
	Yeah, I'd like to have some of those over there.
	So I'll give her husband, her husband, and their fucking foundation $50 million.
	That's why I'm like, if you're going to peach Biden for that, you should impeach everyone.
	Every president's ever existed.
	That's why I'm like, it's just a systemic thing.
	They're all doing it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So I'm down to do this, but we better go after everyone.
	Don't just make it Biden.
	Go after every one of these corrupt motherfuckers.
	But unfortunately, the popularity contest that is, you know, who's going to be the president of the United States of America, you know, it behooves the other side to make the other person not popular.
	Yeah.
	So they're not even doing this to win.
	They're just doing this to make him not win the election.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So you're right.
	Systemic and it's a problem and it's fucking annoying.
	And yeah, how else?
	But how else do you choose somebody?
	If it's not a popularity contest, how else do you choose somebody?
	The issue with Biden or with Hunter is that all the shit he did is kind of awesome.
	Getting your dick stuck while pointing a gun at the camera.
	It's like the Trump thing where it's like, yeah, you don't really agree with what he said, but the way he said it was.
	Yo, it feels like Hunter should be Trump's son, doesn't it?
	Yeah.
	That's the pair that we.
	That's the pair.
	That should be the.
	If that's the reality show America needs.
	If Trump runs with Hunter Biden as a VP, game over, bro.
	Yeah, everyone, everyone.
	Game over, dude.
	Yeah, that's what we're missing.
	Yeah, it's quite interesting.
	Trump's kids are so put together.
	Yeah.
	Like his daughter, Ivanka, is like brilliant, beautiful, successful.
	You don't hear that much about him.
	Did you hear anything about any of that?
	That's the other daughter that might be like...
	And we're talking, not even like the black sheep.
	We're saying like, oh, maybe she's more into partying or maybe she's not as successful as the other ones.
	But the kids have all done really well.
	And say what you want.
	Say what you want.
	The kids turned out good.
	I don't know what to tell you.
	Do you have control of those things?
	Maybe you don't.
	Maybe you just luck of the draw.
	Maybe you just got lucky.
	Maybe great moms.
	I don't know.
	This is a real small place to take it, but if you're doing a comedy show and the show is good, you're always like, the host gets credit.
	If it's bad, you're like, yeah, that's on the host.
	I feel that way about parenting a little bit.
	Dude, I've never blamed the host.
	Yeah.
	I've never heard that.
	I hosted a lot, so if the show is bad, I was like, that's on me.
	No, really?
	Yeah.
	I mean, I don't, it's, I'm not going to take it home and want to fucking mom and like, oh, I got to eat that.
	That's got to be on me.
	I go home.
	I always acknowledge it was the most difficult spot.
	Yeah.
	But the whole show being bad because of a host, no.
	Like by the time the headliner gets on, they should forget that the host was ever on stage.
	Oh, I'm thinking like 15-minute spots at clubs.
	Oh, like a feature.
	Like a club show.
	We're all doing that.
	Then it's on you.
	Wow.
	I never put that responsibility on them.
	I've seen hosts bomb and I've been like, oh, dude, that's a tough spot.
	The crowd's not connected.
	They're not there.
	And it is a fucking hard thing.
	But so you're saying like, if the kids are successful, it goes for the parents.
	You got to get credit.
	If the kids are not successful, you got to eat them.
	I don't know.
	One of Biden's kids is a war hero.
	I mean, that kid seems successful.
	That's a good counterpoint to my ill-thought of point.
	Kids are just so different.
	You know, like, we're all so different.
	Yeah.
	What works for one kid might not work.
	Yeah.
	Like, it's just, and being able to transition that parenting ability, I guess, is part of it.
	But, like, kids are just born and they have their own unique personalities.
	And there's only so much you could do.
	Bro, that shit is so weird.
	Yeah.
	Just like seeing little kids having personalities, you're like, what the fuck?
	What is going on?
	They might be nothing like their parents.
	They might be exactly like their parents.
	Thinking of things.
	Yeah.
	Interests.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's really crazy.
	So yeah, that's where I'm like, I don't know how much you can blame it.
	Like people are trying to put it on Biden, like, yo, you can't even raise your kid.
	I'm like, I don't know if that's super fair.
	Also, the dude's a drug addict.
	I'm like, yeah, that sucks.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I feel bad for drug addicts, bro.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I'm sure he doesn't want his kid to be a drug addict.
	I think the assumption is obviously these people who like desire power that the only thing that they've ever cared about is that power.
	And because of that, they failed their family.
	And I think that's maybe where people go, oh, this is your fault, you know, Joe Biden.
	If maybe you care more about your family, this wouldn't have happened.
	But who fucking knows if that's true?
	I mean, Trump has clearly wanted power and success.
	And then he has all these kids that are fucking incredibly successful.
	America's hypocritical that way, though.
	Because if you had no kids, they're like, yeah, you should have a family.
	And if you do have kids, they're like, yo, you should spend more time with your family.
	Fucking, yeah, that's true.
	It's like running the country is not like a nine to five.
	I can't go home and play catch every day.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it is true.
	We do want everything.
	But then would you make the argument that we should scrutinize the most powerful position in the world?
	Yeah.
	We should, you know, we should put you through the ringer.
	It's like, imagine what we do when we hire a lawyer, what you do when you hire or just anybody who works for you.
	Like you're going to put them through the ringer.
	You're going to make sure that they're fucking qualified.
	Yeah, I guess his point is just, I don't want you to have a wife and kids because I don't want anything taken away from your time.
	Yeah.
	Or husband and kids.
	Well, we want you to have a wife and kids and we want them to be perfect without you doing anything.
	Yeah.
	You're fully dedicated to that.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Also, I don't know how much like being a good parent has to do with being the president.
	Like it kind of does in your heart, but does it actually though?
	No.
	Like if you're, if you're in a pinch and you need a lawyer and you're like, oh, this guy's a terrible dude.
	He cheats on his wife, but he's the greatest lawyer.
	You'd be like, okay.
	Yeah.
	I don't give a shit, right?
	Like no one cares.
	Yeah.
	Like if they're good at their job, like no one cares what they're doing at home.
	Yeah, what makes you a good president might not make you a good father.
	And what we need is a president.
	We just want to be reflected in our presidents.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We want to be reflected in everybody that we see or admire or look up to.
	And the second they have a quality that differs from us and a quality that we are glad we don't have, then we will hold you to the fire.
	Now, if they have a quality that's different than us, but a quality we wish we did have, then we admire you for it.
	Oh, you're courageous.
	You're brave.
	You're confident.
	Like all the people looking at Prime right now, they're like, man, I wish I had that confidence, man.
	I wish I could go into a situation like that.
	I just know it's going to be successful.
	Because when you're president, you're the leader of the free world.
	It's hard to follow a leader when they have stains on their personality.
	We want them to be perfect in every way.
	Yeah, we want you to be perfect, but perfect people might not make the best presidents.
	The best presidents might be the people who have failed a lot and know the punishment, the pain, and the repercussions of that failure.
	And will then try to avoid those failures.
	You know, it's like somebody who's running a business.
	I don't want someone who's never ran a business before.
	I want someone who's went through everything.
	Maybe one of their businesses failed and they know exactly why it failed.
	That's good.
	Yeah, if they got success, I'd rather one of their businesses also fail.
	Just so you know what to do in that situation, what you could have done differently.
	Imagine you never had a business fail.
	All you had is success and now we're starting to fail.
	The fuck you know how to do it.
	You don't know jack shit.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Also, Trump is just so arrogant.
	He's like, yo, my kids are the best.
	My family's the best.
	You just get that sense that he thinks he's the best.
	So if anyone in his family were to slip up, they'd be like, no, look.
	Whereas Biden said nothing.
	Like, he's just kind of just been like walking around, sort of just like trying his best for years.
	And everyone's like, yeah, you know, you can't.
	I got to blame this guy.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I think people genuinely feel bad for him.
	At least I do.
	Do you think he's relaxed?
	Like, he's...
	As a person or since he became president or just in general, like he is arguably the most stressful job in the world.
	Now, of course, when there is a Navy SEAL that is hiding in a bunker about to assassinate, in that moment, that is objectively more stressful.
	But I'm talking about day-to-day waking up and the decision that you have to make affects not just your country, they affect the whole world.
	When you leave the world, this is an 8 billion person decision every single time.
	Do you think he's going, fuck, I got some anxiety today?
	Like, he always seems kind of chill, like making jokes.
	I'm Jill's husband.
	Like, wouldn't you be panicking?
	I think he's less stressed on average than other people.
	Do you think he knows what's going on?
	And is that to his benefit?
	Like, to his benefit?
	If he's not making the decisions already, like, if the CIA, whoever's making the decisions, at least the poor guy has no fucking clue what's going on.
	Because imagine you weren't making the decisions and everybody thought you were.
	Yeah, oh, yeah.
	The fucking pain and stress.
	I wonder what that's aged in four years, and that will tell me how many decisions.
	If he's aged nothing, he hasn't made a single thing.
	Did we pay back those loans?
	Let me go back, play checkers.
	Yeah.
	Obama looked disheviled.
	He looked like he knew about some decisions.
	He had some years on it.
	Yeah.
	He wore them.
	George Bush Jr., I don't think he knew what the fuck was going on.
	He was chilling.
	He was chilling.
	Bro, and there's part of me that's almost like, if you ain't, if you had that meeting with Fucking uh Dick Cheney, right?
	And it's like Dick Cheney's like, I'm gonna make all the decisions.
	And he's like, George Bush is like, All right, bet, but don't be telling me about him.
	That's what you gotta do.
	Don't be telling me because if you're gonna make the decisions, I don't want to carry the weight of that.
	Yeah, I want to paint soldiers or you know, play baseball or do whatever funny, goofy shit I gotta do.
	Hang with Ellen.
	Hang with him.
	The second I'm not responsible.
	Don't be telling me.
	Have you seen that golf swing thing where he's saying the greatest moment ever, dude?
	This is not a, if you pull that up, that's not a guy who really knows what's going on.
	You know what I mean?
	That's a guy who millions of innocent people are probably dying.
	He's like, I don't know.
	What?
	But I'm just out here playing putt-putt.
	I get it.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's how you prefer it.
	Don't.
	Here we go.
	Bro, I miss this America, dude.
	We need this back.
	I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers.
	Thank you.
	That was his drive.
	I mean, which no one ever talks about that his dad raised a president.
	Good swing.
	Oh, yeah.
	His dad was a president and then raised a president.
	And the two of them must have linked up and been like, yo, how fucking crazy is this shit?
	He almost raised two presidents.
	Yeah, if it wasn't for Trump, Jeb might have won.
	Jeb was the frontrunner of the family.
	Yeah.
	Like, he wasn't even supposed to be in it.
	Yeah.
	Jeb was the guy.
	And Jeb is well liked and apparently would have been good.
	Yeah.
	He owned a baseball.
	They gave him like a goofy job.
	His dream was to be the MLB commissioner and then he was commissioner of the free world.
	That's hilarious.
	He wasn't ready for that.
	Yeah.
	I just watched his drive.
	Yeah.
	Yo, all I'm saying is.
	That sounds like a guy that wants to be like, we're going to get these steroids out of the game.
	Now watch this drive.
	I mean, what do you think they talk about?
	Who?
	Your dad's the president.
	You're the president.
	Your brothers or whatever.
	Keep in mind, his dad was not only the president, a wartime president, and the head of the CIA.
	You were a president in name only.
	Right?
	According to the president namely, yeah, yeah, like Republican name.
	So, so it's like they have nothing.
	I guess, I mean, they have some, obviously, some things in common, but in terms of the responsibility and like bearing the weight of the decisions, if it is true what they say that Dick Cheney was making all the decisions and then, you know, the deep state or whatever were involved, what would they talk about?
	And if you're the son, you'd be like, yo, don't talk to me about this shit.
	This was supposed to be Jeb's job.
	I was supposed to own a baseball team.
	Jeb fucked up.
	So I had to step in.
	It was even before, but still, it's like, I didn't want none of this shit.
	I had to.
	He got out of office.
	He's like, yes, I can paint now.
	It's so crazy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, don't tell me.
	If I don't have control, don't tell me.
	If I don't have control, don't tell me.
	He's had the best post-presidency rehab of his image.
	Him and Jimmy Carter, I think.
	But like, yeah, yeah.
	Jimmy was hated when he was in office and everybody loves him.
	But George Bush, same thing.
	George W.
	Now him and Michelle just hanging out, yucking it up wherever they go.
	Yeah.
	Fucking friendship.
	You know what I mean?
	Painting warfare.
	You're like, oh, I like this guy.
	Yeah.
	People legitimately thought he was a devil.
	Obama did a good job.
	But Obama was mostly well liked by W was not.
	What do you mean?
	Republicans loved him.
	Not when he was in office.
	Of course.
	They liked Republicans.
	They didn't like W.
	No, they loved him.
	They were like the country's safe with him.
	They had a single terrorist attack since he got in.
	I did not.
	He won re-election.
	Yeah, he won re-election movie.
	Towards the end of his second term.
	Yeah, it was pretty clear.
	Once it was clear that, like, oh, you got us in this war, this bullshit war.
	Yeah, we didn't.
	Like, he wasn't like.
	I was in.
	Now, granted, I moved to.
	That's what I remember.
	I moved to Cali in 07, but I was in a very red state before up until 2007.
	So I saw a term and a half of him.
	And by around the end of 2006, 2005, and people were like, oh, really?
	What are we doing here?
	Not that all Republicans turn.
	They will support the party, but I didn't know a lot of people who were riding after W. Because people.
	Both parties lost sons in Iraq.
	Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
	Yeah, yeah, I guess they are.
	I mean, yeah.
	I mean, they're from Ohio.
	Wait, who is?
	The Bushes?
	The Bushes, yeah.
	They were raised in Texas.
	George W is governor of Texas.
	I can't imagine him.
	I mean, I guess.
	The Bushes are Florida.
	Say what?
	Jeb was Florida, but originally they're either from Ohio or like Connecticut or something like that.
	Yeah.
	The perspective of them is that they're like these like oil southern goody two-shots.
	I thought they lived in Texas.
	But no.
	Go look at where the Bush family's from.
	Connecticut or Ohio or something?
	George H. H.W. is from Greenwich, Connecticut.
	Yeah.
	They're just, they're waspy New England folks.
	Cosplaying is southerners.
	Yeah, exactly.
	W wasn't cosplaying though.
	He just wanted to coach baseball, dude.
	That's it, dude.
	W is Connecticut.
	He's got to be the most relatable president.
	So George W. Bush, born in New Haven, it says he grew up in the Texan cities of Midland and Houston and then went to Yale.
	It was hilarious.
	But yeah, they're like WASPI New England folks, but they kind of have this, I guess they spent time down in Texas, but still like W is.
	It has that little twang.
	Foolish people can't talk about it.
	They all kind of talk like that.
	But like culturally, like where they're hanging in the summer, who they're politicking with, they ain't in the fucking cowboy boots and on the fucking horses, right?
	They're in WASPY ass.
	They're at the fucking Cape Cod or Nantucket or whatever it is.
	He's second best golfer, apparently.
	Of all presidents?
	Yeah, JFK is one.
	Really?
	Apparently W is two.
	Yeah.
	Bro, you don't think Trump is pretty good?
	I've been watching his swings.
	Trump's good.
	I was saying from like, this is like golf pros talking.
	They like did a candid talk where they're like, yeah, I've golfed with 10 presidents, five presidents, whatever, like comparing swings on stuff.
	And they're like, JFK, number one, even with the broken back, number one.
	W and like a few others sort of like really fight out for two.
	Oh, really?
	FDR is pretty good.
	Handicapped.
	That helped a little bit.
	What about Barry?
	His legs?
	Yeah, exactly.
	What about Barack?
	Barack was a later in life golfer.
	W would have grown up playing.
	He was a hoop.
	Yeah, he was too busy hooping his busting ass.
	Yeah.
	That's a hooper, no doubt.
	All right, guys.
	Thank you so much for listening.
	We'll see you on Patreon this Friday.
	We appreciate you.
	We love you.
	Peace.

Chapters

00:00:00 Minhaj's Emotional Truth
00:14:22 Cultural Dating Expectations
00:16:28 Russell Brand Lies Exposed
00:29:22 Comedy vs Rape Allegations
00:43:06 DNA Evidence in Assault Cases
00:52:06 Renewing Wedding Vows
01:07:05 Deion's Player Confidence
01:16:24 Drake's New Album Plans
01:26:48 Central Cee London Dates
01:30:14 Missing F-35 Fighter Jet
01:36:15 Systemic Tax Evasion Issues
01:42:00 Presidential Legacy Debates