Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Shane Gillis on Wrestling Joe Rogan, Stylebender Loss, & Why Napoleon is The GOAT

Sept. 13, 2023 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh

03:02:56

Shane Gillis on Wrestling Joe Rogan, Stylebender Loss, & Why Napoleon is The GOAT

# vladimir putin stonewall jackson shane gillis barack obama cia civil war history conspiracy theories cultural stereotypes father corby holocaust israel adesanya kanye west lee harvey oswald maccabees meyer lansky national service political corruption recep tayyip erdoğan religious beliefs robert e lee

Shane Gillis dominates the episode, debating whether Napoleon or Robert E. Lee is the true GOAT while recounting a controversial sexual anecdote and mocking Australian shows like Border Patrol. The conversation spirals into JFK conspiracy theories alleging CIA involvement to protect corporate interests, alongside debates on mandatory national service versus voter ID laws. Gillis also promotes his upcoming Twitch NFL streams and defends Catholicism's proselytizing nature before the hosts dissect acting talent and sports betting strategies in a chaotic, unfiltered dialogue. [Automatically generated summary]
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Funny Sex Story 00:14:35
	There's a funny thing that's been making me laugh.
	I was having sex and a lady kissing my chest and she happened to suck on a bob and I nodded to say this is too much.
	So then she thinks that's my thing.
	Every time she does it, it gets in my head.
	I'm like, don't.
	You can't.
	Don't come, don't come, don't come.
	I'm like, no!
	So maybe I'm in a kid like it.
	What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrant.
	And today we are joined by dear friend of the show, just so happens to have the number one comedy special in the world right now.
	No big deal.
	Beautiful dogs.
	It's Shane Gillis over here.
	Shane Killis over here.
	I know he hates the praise.
	No, no, I appreciate it.
	Shane hit me up while he's on his way here.
	He goes, guys, be nice.
	Don't be nasty.
	Don't be nasty.
	You guys like what I got to do?
	Be nice.
	Yeah, we do like just little tickles.
	We just like your tickles.
	So we were like, listen, we got to make sure that Shane is in a comfortable environment.
	Let's talk to some of his boys and see what he's into right now, artistically, what he's really vibing with.
	And O'Connor was like, listen, there's this painting that he's really into.
	That's very sweet.
	Yeah.
	And it's the absolution of Gettysburg.
	And we put it up on a TV.
	Just, you know, maybe go to a shot right there where you can see it.
	Okay.
	So, Shane, would you like to tell them what else happened?
	I'm so dumb that I got in here and I went, I actually have that painting in my living room.
	No one on earth has that painting or knows what that is.
	I actually have that in my living room.
	Oh, Father Corby in the Irish Brigade?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Now, why do you have this great appreciation for Father Corby?
	Well, because he became the president of Notre Dame, bro.
	Show Irish.
	We built it, though.
	And he was a beast.
	Yeah, he built it after it burnt down.
	Second founder, you know.
	He said the only problem was we didn't build it big enough.
	Okay.
	All right, Corby.
	Look into him.
	I think he got a medal of honor.
	I think he was out there like, maybe that was him at Fredericksburg that was like giving everybody their last rights.
	Like during everybody else was getting shot.
	He was out there.
	Just piecing him up.
	Yeah.
	Do they?
	Good guy.
	Was there like a respect for the priest who was piecing people up?
	So you wouldn't shoot at him, obviously.
	Probably not.
	Especially in a civil war.
	Unless you were doing a prank.
	It was against the Japanese.
	They would fucking know.
	They would have done it.
	Well, that's true.
	Just starting out a hot.
	Yeah, just for the record, that's true.
	Well, maybe they wouldn't know what he's doing.
	They don't know.
	They're not Catholic.
	You know what I mean?
	So they thought maybe he was obvious about it.
	They're not Catholic yet.
	Guy without a gun's walking around.
	Yeah, true.
	Did we almost get him?
	I thought Andrew Garfield got over there in one of these.
	He went in there.
	Nagasaki was Catholic.
	Really?
	That was a Catholic city.
	When we were having.
	Come on.
	Didn't help.
	Imagine the box did not help.
	It hits the ocean.
	You're like, oh, God.
	Japanese are like, there's no way it's going to be us.
	That's for real.
	No.
	Yeah, there was a lot of Catholic in Nagasaki that were like, they wouldn't get us.
	Yeah.
	We were Catholic.
	Yeah, we're one of them.
	Yeah.
	So maybe they were just faking it.
	Maybe they're posers.
	It'd be like if 9-11 hit like Elkhart, Michigan.
	Or no, what's that town in Michigan that's all Dearborn?
	Dearborn.
	Yeah, Dearborn, I think it is.
	Yeah, it was Dearborn.
	A lot of Middle Eastern people that are like, oh, yeah, that's right.
	That's right.
	They're not going to get us.
	Yeah, yeah.
	They did.
	Fucking homefield, dude.
	Yeah, dude.
	Anyway.
	Fucking Dearborn, man.
	Shout out to Dearborn.
	Big shout out.
	I remember we were having some delicious beers with O'Connor and Pope.
	And we got into a very surprising conversation.
	Oh, you and me?
	Yeah, very surprising conversation.
	It's not going where you think it's going to go because we haven't had enough alcohol just yet.
	But you, I could not believe this came out of your mouth.
	And this came out of your mouth twice.
	We had two different conversations about this.
	You, under your breath, told me that you thought a French general was the greatest of all time.
	Napoleon?
	No, no, no.
	Almost the other picture we had up right there.
	I just want to let you guys the bro.
	But Napoleon's on.
	Do you have to say that because of your patriotism?
	If you actually had to sit down and objectively honestly, if you'd be honest, it's Robert E. Lee, right?
	I mean, he wasn't working with a lot.
	He wasn't.
	He did, you know what I mean?
	He did good with what he had.
	Go dog.
	Come on, man.
	He was.
	That's SEC.
	He's a different brand now.
	Yeah, they had a couple.
	Stonewall.
	Stonewall was nice.
	Jacks.
	Stonewall Jackson, he was an autistic man, clearly.
	100%.
	Yeah.
	Why?
	I don't know.
	I read it.
	These are the names.
	He's got a book.
	There's a book.
	The guy who wrote Empire of the Summer Moon.
	You ever read that about the Comanche?
	No.
	Oh, it's like the best history book.
	But he wrote another one about Jackson called Rebel Yellow.
	And it's clearly he's just an autistic guy.
	Wait, why?
	What was he doing?
	He like, he got it.
	He hurt his hand or something, and he just always held it up because he was like, I don't want the blood to go down back to where the cut was.
	So like at all times, he was like, people are like, dude, put your fucking hand down.
	He thought God would decide when he died.
	So he was not afraid of, you would just stand there.
	That's how he got his name.
	Stonewall.
	Look at him.
	Look at him.
	He's just standing there like a stonewall.
	He was just getting shot at.
	He was.
	There was one that when he was in school, one of his commanding officers was like, like, at attention when he walks by him.
	And then he came by the next day and he was still standing there.
	He was like, dude, what are you doing?
	And he was like, I'm not going to disobey your orders.
	He's like, all right, dude.
	Serious psycho.
	Anyway, this isn't exciting.
	But that's what else do we got?
	Somebody else.
	We had Mark.
	Mark just did a pod with Sebastian Junger.
	Yeah.
	You know, Perfect Storm and all the rest.
	And he goes, what did he say?
	The three things you need for an underdog to win a war?
	For an underdog to win, you got to have a cause worth fighting for.
	You got to have a leader willing.
	Right?
	No chores.
	So that's one.
	That's one.
	You got to have a leader willing to die.
	Stonewall.
	Stonewall was ready to go.
	Yeah, but Robert E. Lee.
	What?
	No, no, no.
	Robert Lee was a little scared.
	Yeah.
	He was a little scared.
	He's a coward.
	That's what Grant knew.
	Grant knew he was soft.
	Grant knew he was soft.
	Young Bobby Lee.
	Yeah.
	Honestly.
	Little Bobby Lee.
	Little Bobby Lee was a little bit of a double dad.
	I served with Bobby in Mexico and saw that he was a little scared.
	Tell him.
	Tell them.
	So then the Civil War started and all the other generals in the North were afraid of like, he's the goat.
	This is terrifying.
	And then what did Grant say?
	And then Grant was like, he's a pussy, dude.
	He's just as scared as me.
	I'm going to go fuck him up.
	He's scared too.
	I'm scared.
	I like that it wasn't like, he's more scared than everyone.
	We're both scared.
	Yeah, we're both terrified.
	This sucks.
	Yeah, fucking, why are we fighting?
	And then the third thing you need is you need to have women involved in the war effort.
	If you want underdogs.
	Yeah, okay.
	You lost me with that third one, buddy.
	What?
	I'm just saying.
	That's what Sebastian said.
	Is it because more men are willing to enlist when women are just nagging them at home?
	And they're like, I'd rather fucking get killed or sit here and listen to this.
	What he was saying is like, you need doing anything.
	Like around fucking as like nurses, whatever, building shit.
	You just like lose half your population if you don't have women doing something.
	So I don't know what the South was doing.
	They probably didn't have women doing anything.
	It might have been too traditional.
	Look what happened, dude.
	Got bodied.
	They got rocked.
	I can't believe you put Grant over Napoleon, though.
	I just like him more.
	Just as a guy.
	He's kind of a failure, drunk.
	Yeah, that the war started and he was like, oh, I'm the best.
	Like, he was like working at his dad's like grocery store as like a cashier.
	And then the war started and he just became a president.
	So he just went.
	Like on some Churchill shit?
	Because wasn't Churchill retired before?
	Yeah.
	Churchill blew it in World War I.
	Yes, it was against the Turks.
	Yeah, y'all got to keep filling in gaps because we are not white, so we don't know as much about history.
	We just don't have any passion you guys have.
	White history is really need to get on board.
	You guys are going to love it.
	Well, who wants to start with the Civil War for Alex?
	I don't want to explain.
	A bunch of good guys got beat.
	Lost their lives.
	What are your thoughts on states' rights?
	I had a teacher in middle school teach me that the war was about states' rights.
	Yeah, they teach you that in the South.
	Yeah, but this was in New York.
	I saw this white guy with fucking white hair, Mr. Davis, I remember it to this day.
	He was, and he was like, he's like, yeah, it was not about slavery.
	It was about states' rights.
	And he kept on hammering that.
	And I probably repeated that for another decade.
	That was about states' rights, dude.
	You know what I mean?
	But it was about states' rights to own slaves.
	Dude, with the details.
	So it's like, there's so many details.
	I'm in 9, you know, what is my 13, 11?
	Yeah, you can't be hit with that.
	Yeah.
	You're too young.
	States' rights, dude.
	States' rights to what?
	Mind your fucking business.
	Stop treading on me.
	Then what about British imperialism?
	Can you explain any of that for Akash?
	I would love that.
	Yeah, he doesn't know history.
	Yeah, I have no experience with that.
	They turned India into a Walmart for 400 years.
	For 400 years, it was a company.
	Pretty good.
	Literally a company.
	Pretty good.
	It was a company longer than America's been a country.
	Isn't that crazy?
	Yeah, dude.
	A clearance sale.
	Yeah.
	Going out of this.
	Fire sale, bro.
	It's a liquidation.
	Resources and humans.
	Yes, do it.
	We're sitting down and we're having, we're having some Zins and drinks at the sellers, me, you, and Timmy and Liz.
	And we, and I bring up ancient history.
	I was like learning about like Cyrus the Great, who's like this great Persian, whatever.
	And then Shane just goes, I can't do the ancient history.
	I go, why?
	And then your argument was actually solid.
	I don't like it.
	Because I thought the argument was good.
	What?
	Like, no one knows?
	No one knows.
	It's all made up.
	Yeah.
	There's that great Napoleon quote as a history is a set of lies agreed upon.
	And if you look back at like ancient history, every battle ends in the most romantic fashion.
	Yeah.
	Like everything is because you weed out all the kind of boring stuff that we still know about World War II, the stuff that we know about the Vietnam War.
	When you're looking at wars like 2000 years ago, it's like, okay, do we need all that?
	They're making it up.
	The whole thing?
	A lot, yeah.
	I think, I don't know.
	I don't know anything.
	The Maccabees?
	Wait, who are the Maccabees?
	You know, come on.
	Obviously, 100%.
	100%.
	Yeah, it's a lie.
	The Jews fought off the Romans?
	Yeah.
	You made that up for sure.
	Wait a minute.
	The Maccabees, what did they fight them with?
	Frivolous lawsuits?
	Very litigious, the Maccabees.
	Watch out for them.
	Wait, who are the Maccabees?
	Judah and the Maccabees.
	Why do you say that they're RVs?
	Because he's like, he's Googling it.
	I know the fucking thing.
	Even the Jews don't believe it.
	You guys make up everything, dude.
	The Maccabees, the Holocaust.
	Yeah, they fought against the Macs.
	What the fuck?
	What?
	Time for the money.
	It's more.
	I think it's more.
	It's more.
	I think it's 8 million.
	The number wasn't enough.
	They're underselling.
	167 BC against the sell you.
	What do you mean, you know?
	Wait, what is it?
	What did I mean?
	What did I mean?
	You said the number wasn't enough, dude.
	Yeah, it wasn't high enough.
	Wait, why?
	Wait, which side am I on?
	It's not.
	All right.
	Dude.
	Meaning.
	It just got back.
	The number one necklace on the planet.
	Two days later.
	Has been removed.
	No.
	Listen, by enough.
	I meant that it was horrible and it was probably more than people predict because that's how horrible they were.
	$6 million and one.
	Who knows?
	Yeah.
	It could have been.
	There's no way it was definitely $6 million on the dot.
	It's probably, it was not a round number.
	That's where this starts.
	This is like the moonlighting, right?
	It's like, well, maybe they, maybe they went, but they didn't.
	I'm not saying there's more.
	I'm saying it's $6 million and one.
	Yeah, we landed on the moon.
	But they were riding on top of the station.
	Did you guys see that?
	There was like 1200.
	900 of them.
	One guy was hanging off, taking a selfie, got hit by a pole.
	You guys love trains.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But that's chicks on the internet.
	Is all of India autistic?
	Yeah.
	It's actually the most emotional, but I'm curious to know where you're going with this.
	Like bothering women on the internet.
	Yeah.
	Bad at texting.
	That's because of arranged marriage.
	That's my theory.
	Oh, it actually makes a lot of sense.
	That they've never had to kick in.
	Generation of millions of people arranging marriages.
	Never had to try to talk.
	Yeah.
	So they're just like.
	And then you're like, and then your dad's like, hey, go find a girl.
	And you're like, the fuck?
	You found your parents set you up with your mom.
	What should I say to that girl?
	And he's like, huh?
	I have no clue.
	Then you just go, show me Bob and Vajejean.
	That's where you start.
	That's how you learn.
	You got to get through the bad ones to get the good ones.
	You know what I mean?
	But I'm saying you guys never got caught from an uncle.
	No, you're right, dude.
	Of the billions of Bobs and Vajeen texts sent, how many worked?
	One had to work.
	At least one.
	One, at least one.
	At least one had to work.
	At least one.
	Because if it never worked, this is what we always talk about, like, you know, hollering at girls on the street.
	It's like, it works for your friend, which is why you're doing it.
	Yeah.
	Like, one dude had to pick up a girl in front of you, hollering at her like that for you to go, okay, I can just be like, yo, Shorty, what's up?
	With that lobster.
	Bobs and Vajendean is just funny as a gift.
	It's fire, bro.
	Just get some sorority girl from North Carolina.
	You're in an alley in fucking Bombay.
	Mumbai.
	You're in your cafe.
	Yeah, you're whipped.
	Show me your fucking titties.
	Just a Hail Mary.
	The greatest past.
	The ultimate Hail Mary.
Toilet Sales in Bombay 00:08:56
	Cross the Indian.
	Fourth quarters.
	Fucking bombing.
	I want to start a charity where I send those guys titty pics.
	And you just like, anytime a guy comments, I just send them a titty pick.
	Boom.
	Here you go, dude.
	Just to keep morale going.
	You know what I mean?
	How much of OnlyFans is Bob and Vajean request?
	We ain't paying.
	You crazy.
	I wonder if it's, if it's not that expensive, it's five bucks.
	We ain't paying.
	First of all, that's 400 rupees.
	Oh, that's a lot of rupees.
	We ain't paying that.
	But isn't a rupee is not worth as much.
	Like, you know, a Coke is like 40 rupees or whatever.
	But like, we ain't still not doing that.
	Yo, how does Indian, how do Indians feel about them going to the moon and there still being people struggling?
	We're proud we made it to the moon.
	It's when you're on your way up, you're proud of everything.
	And then when you're at the top, you're not proud of anything.
	Oh, so you're still in the stage where like you identify with all the greatness.
	Yeah, look what we can do, man.
	We made it there.
	Now we can fix it.
	We'll fix everything here too, but look what we can do.
	And America's so spoiled.
	Now it's time for plumbing.
	If the number of signs.
	Yo, now it's plumbing time.
	The number of signs I saw, and I still could be wrong, but I saw signs all over India that said to let, T-O-L-E-T.
	And I was like, there's just random signs about like, are they leasing apartments?
	And I was like, oh, toilet.
	Yeah.
	Go there.
	It's just signed.
	It's like, hey, you need a shitter?
	Cause I'll sell you one.
	Darn it.
	Nice.
	All over.
	Everywhere.
	But that's, we need toilets still to that point.
	Am I wrong?
	No, that's the sale thing.
	No, it's not a sales thing.
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	This is about to be historic.
	No, it's historic.
	This is good.
	I said I could be wrong.
	It's not on, you won't see it on like a storefront.
	You'll see it taking a picture during an organization.
	It's everywhere because that means there's like, that's for sale.
	You got a lease.
	No, it's not at houses.
	No, that's not on.
	That's what I'm saying.
	It's not on houses.
	I still could be wrong, but it's random street corridors.
	Yeah, but is there a number?
	No.
	It literally just says that.
	Toulette.
	To let.
	What does to let mean?
	I don't even know who the fuck you contact.
	It's literally, it means like, oh yeah, this is for sale.
	If I saw it on Windows, I'd be like, oh, yeah, that must be a place that's available.
	You see that shit everywhere, like on buildings, on like signs, everywhere.
	Yo, get Shub.
	We need Shub.
	Listen, what I loved is your confidence going into that.
	That's fine.
	He did have Moon Conference.
	Yeah, he had five.
	That's not a good idea.
	There's not a moon walking window.
	It just says Tulet.
	Oh, shit.
	It's the least.
	Damn it.
	Let's fucking go.
	Tales is the worst.
	That guy's just a word.
	It's working as shit.
	Well, they could use some toilet sales too, to be honest.
	Why is the same sign for toilets?
	You thought every one of those signs was like a toilet dealer?
	Yeah, I thought it was.
	I thought it was one guy with a business opportunity.
	I don't think it's crazy.
	I like it.
	I don't want to do it.
	He seems sad about it.
	I agree with the one that makes India worse.
	I do that.
	He's supportive.
	No, I just feel like we are.
	Also, if you go to India and you see a guy.
	Because I have that painting.
	If you go to India and you see a guy shitting on the beach shore, you're like, they must be Indian toilets.
	You know what's interesting?
	They need toilets.
	China gets the reputation for shitting.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	They do that here in Georgia.
	No, they'll shit on the street.
	The PRCs, when we were in Singapore, that's what they were like upset about.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They call them PRCs.
	Because they'll do it in other countries.
	Oh, but in their own.
	I remember Chappelle had a joke about, I don't think he put it in a special.
	We went to see him at Radio City, but he was like, India is such a fascinating place.
	They had an election, 100% voter turnout.
	And then that same month, year, whatever, there was a campaign to get people to stop shitting in the streets.
	And it was like, yeah, if we know, the motherfucking shit is a lot of fun.
	That would be such a problem.
	Yeah, oh, yeah.
	That would be.
	I mean, I've also seen shit outside of India's circle recently.
	That's disgusting.
	But if that was nationwide, that would be like.
	Just people taking dumps all over the place.
	That would suck.
	San Francisco guy.
	Dude, there should be a sign of people just selling toilets in random places in the city.
	It's a fantastic problem.
	It's a fantastic business opportunity.
	The fact that you didn't even ask anybody there.
	The fact that you digest that information, you're like, yeah, they're just selling toilets all over the place.
	Well, you're in India.
	Just ask the Indians around you.
	They don't like talking to Americans.
	Who are you with?
	You're with your family.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	No, I wasn't with my family.
	I was with other Americans getting a tour or whatever.
	Were they Indian Americans?
	Yeah.
	And they don't like you guys.
	None of us knew.
	They don't like Indian Americans.
	Wow.
	They look at us like we sold out.
	I mean, you did.
	I mean.
	It ain't my fault.
	My parents were smart enough to get here.
	Yeah.
	Don't be nasty.
	You could be mad at them dumbass UK Indians.
	You know what I mean?
	They could take fucking offices.
	Who were the ones that went to, oh, what's that fucking place in South America?
	No.
	Guyana or something.
	Guyana.
	Guyana.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's a fuck up, bro.
	Yeah.
	Going to Trinidad.
	Second worst movie in history.
	Wait, what's wrong with going to Guyana?
	You could have gone on the same boat that took you to America.
	You got on the Guyana boat.
	They went on some indentured stuff.
	They went from third world to third world.
	I don't know what the deal with Guyana is.
	You got here, you got called a terrorist.
	I'm like, what if you went to Guyana?
	You just got to drink my tea?
	It's probably better over there.
	Yeah, but it's riddled with Indians, most likely.
	That's a huge issue.
	There's a huge issue going on over there.
	Okay.
	And the riddle is, why do these people keep shitting in the street?
	Guyana might be popping.
	I don't know.
	It might be beautiful.
	The women are looking at that disgusting rust river.
	Which one?
	This is Guyana?
	Yeah, dude.
	Yo, shout out to Guyana.
	You guys are great.
	I know you're upset that we're talking about it.
	They don't have internet.
	What is it?
	They're not watching this.
	No, we actually have a huge Guyanese population.
	Look at that.
	Good Catholic church.
	Get them in there.
	Look at that.
	Yeah, this is awesome.
	Banda's low-key beautiful.
	South America.
	Yeah.
	And also a lot of fertilizer.
	For the true.
	Get it?
	That's all right.
	Stick the landing.
	Stick the landing.
	Tour announced.
	England.
	I know you've been asking for another show.
	Royal Albert Hall.
	We're not adding another show.
	It's impossible.
	But Manchester, we are doing it.
	We're doing the matinee, okay?
	4 p.m., October 15th.
	The tickets are on sale right now on pre-sale.
	Go to theandrestcholes.com.
	Use the promo code Andrew, okay?
	And you get those pre-sale tickets while they're available.
	October 15th, Manchester.
	If you're in London, you're in the surrounding area, get on that train, get your ass up there, and prove how that train system that you brag about in Europe actually is functional.
	We will see you guys out there, okay?
	I already know that you're going to be out there the night before for that big fight with Dylan Danitz and Logan.
	Okay.
	I had a big fight with KSI and Thommy.
	So the next day you hang in for the matinee.
	We'll see you guys there.
	Ireland, thank you guys so much.
	We just had to add more seats to the three arena.
	It was crazy.
	I didn't even know that we were going to get to the Upper Bowl.
	We are.
	Thank you guys so much.
	Those tickets are available now as well.
	DandreSchultz.com.
	And of course, Australia, we added another show in Sydney.
	We added more seats in Brisbane.
	We added more seats in Melbourne.
	We added another show in Perth.
	Thank you guys so much.
	We'll see you very, very soon.
	We got some very cool announcements.
	TheandrewSchultz.com.
	And we'll see you in Niagara.
	And we will see you in Windsor, Ontario this coming weekend.
	God bless.
	Peace.
	Also, guys, quick announcements.
	First of all, my shows at the Stress Factory were all sold out.
	Thank you so much.
	We added a Thursday show.
	If tickets are still available, you're going to go to akashsing.com to get them.
	Again, that show is tomorrow.
	It's a stress factory in New Brunswick.
	It better be crawling with Indians.
	Honestly, if the club doesn't smell like B.O., I don't have enough India Indians there.
	American Indians, I know we don't be smelling like that, but India Indians, y'all better be at my show stinking up the fucking joint.
	P.S., by the way, if you want to buy the autograph set pieces from my special taping in Houston, I said there would be a link last episode.
	There was not.
	So the link is here now.
	It is akashsing.com.
	There will be a link.
	You can buy the set pieces.
	A couple of you guys already bought them.
	Thank you so much.
	And one more announcement.
	I'm going to, I'm going to try Twitch.
	I'm 39.
	I probably should have done this years ago during the pandemic and made a lot of money, but I didn't.
	I'm going to watch the NFL on Twitch.
	Go to Akash Sing Comedy on Twitch.
	I'm probably going to watch Cowboy Games because I think they'll actually be good this year, even though they'll probably let me down and let me down and rip my fucking heart out.
	But I'm going to watch Cowboy Games and other games.
	I got NFL Sunday ticket.
	We're out here watching motherfucking NFL, Akash Singh Comedy on Twitch.
	Thank you guys.
	Let's get back to the show.
Twitch and Vatican Secrets 00:11:46
	Listen, shout out to Catholicism, man.
	Yeah, Catholicism is the best.
	Respect.
	Number one, though, obviously.
	No.
	Breakdown number one.
	Who else?
	Who are we talking?
	Who else is in contention here?
	We have Muslims.
	Yeah.
	Have Jews, have a solid Jews, solid claim.
	We got the Hindus.
	That's the best type of anti-science.
	You can't include the Jews because they're not uh, proselytizing.
	Right, but that's kind of the most fire.
	Most human religions don't proselytize, but to me it's like if you got to be born in it.
	How fire is it?
	Maybe the most fire.
	It's like a country club dude, yeah hey, join the country club.
	You want to get?
	Literally yeah, it's like a type of club that occasionally gets raided and beat the hell out of everybody.
	There's a couple attack, everybody.
	Yeah, i'm just trying to say we don't know how fire it is if people aren't dying to join up, like people are literally dying to join up.
	Certain ones, yeah and uh, and also no no no, they're not dying to join up, they're dying to get other people to join.
	Fair enough, they're putting the effort in, they're putting the effort, but I think Abrahamic religions are the only ones that proselytize.
	But do Hindus not?
	No, we don't, but y'all don't like them.
	When people aren't Hindu, you put the pressure on.
	No, we don't.
	Being Muslim in India, we don't like Muslims, but they're shook.
	Get back in here, get back in, get back in here.
	The Abrahamic religions post the Jews okay, let's talk about, let's talk about, you think, Catholic's number one.
	I mean yeah okay, why we did it?
	Dude, we did it.
	Look at the Vatican, we did it.
	Yeah no, that is fire.
	The Vaticans, that's I have a bit about this.
	Vatican was mid.
	Yeah, I did see, invented the Western, Invented the Western World number one.
	Here's the question, did Luther have anything to do with that?
	No okay, break it down.
	Well wait, are we counting Christianity as part of Catholicism?
	Yeah okay, if we, if we can, are we branching off all the different branches of Islam?
	That's true.
	If we're doing the the, what is this?
	Okay fine, so just wrap it into one, Christianity number one, Catholicism number one yeah okay yeah, if we're going off of of of leadership.
	You had an interesting argument.
	You were like he's not a man and because of that yeah, when you don't live up to him, you don't feel.
	Bring up these bar conversations no, I thought it was like Jesus is lord dude, we get so intimate with that boss, but it, but it was like a really good conversation.
	It was like you brought this argument.
	You're like he's not a man.
	Yeah therefore, when you don't live up to him, you don't feel horrible about yourself.
	He's someone to aspire to live up to yeah, whereas Muhammad lived a godly life, like he's god.
	He's not, he's prophet yeah, but they.
	Their argument is they don't worship Muhammad.
	But there's also that meanwhile, they go nuts.
	If you draw him, that seems like the most intense level of worship.
	Yeah, that's like your boy, though that's like their man's a guy, I get it.
	Yeah, I think Jesus is mentioned more than Muhammad in the Quran.
	Really well, because he's a prophet as well.
	Yeah yeah yeah, they believe in him.
	They say he was that dude.
	They're just saying he wasn't god.
	Okay, which is a fair argument to just be like, come on yeah, he's a great dude, like we've all loved.
	You really think he was god?
	Yeah, I guess you're right.
	And he would be like, nah, that's just pops pops yeah, but then we're already.
	The Catholic argument is, he's also pops, he's both 100.
	Well, it's the trinity, he's all, it's one, and then whatever, I don't.
	But if he, what are we talking about?
	If he was god, get him some more bloodlights, because really weak.
	If he was god no, that's a good argument also.
	No, people did way more.
	That's what they were saying back then too.
	They were like, dude, why are you just letting him kill you?
	You can destroy everybody.
	Water into wine like light, but not I don't know.
	I feel like.
	I feel like the, the 40 people with one fish.
	There's more than 40 people.
	That's what i'm saying.
	Yeah, I mean, that's yo.
	That's not even that many.
	All right, sorry you didn't have the name Oprah.
	Help more people, I missed it.
	Feed a lot more people with eight R's.
	You could.
	Keep it a stack.
	I guess.
	Do we proselytize?
	No.
	So you're cool if people aren't Hindu.
	Well, because you get a second try.
	It's like, you know what I mean?
	We're supposed to be.
	But don't you guys occasionally fight Muslims constantly?
	Hey, can we?
	Can I say one thing about that's an easy cop out?
	Are they still there making you guys fight?
	Can I ask you?
	I don't know.
	There's a lot of Sindh's there for me.
	There's a lot of expats in Delhi still, but they made me funny.
	Can I ask you one question about Muslims?
	Who gets along with them?
	That's fucked up, dude.
	Answer the question.
	I like them.
	It's crazy.
	Dana White likes them.
	Dana White likes them.
	Yeah, I like them.
	Great.
	What group of people?
	I like them.
	It seems like.
	Hold on.
	Why don't you express your opinions about two people?
	Muslims don't get along with Jews.
	They don't get along with Hindus.
	They don't get along with Hindus.
	They harbored the Jews.
	They took care of the Jews.
	My parents don't know.
	All the Jews live.
	Oh, no, you're right, guys.
	I'm wrong.
	Yeah, no, you guys are right.
	The Jews and Jews get along with them.
	They did.
	He's given that.
	There was a land dispute.
	I know we're being 40s.
	Before that, they were getting along beautifully.
	Sunnis don't like Shias.
	Ottoman Empire.
	Lovely.
	For the Jews.
	Love.
	Hey, Vala.
	Do Sunnis and Shias get alive?
	Yeah, the Turks have always been.
	No, how do you treat Ismas?
	What do you say about Ismailis and Ahmadis?
	What do you say about them?
	Thank you.
	Two resties, toilets.
	Let's go, Hancon.
	That's the best.
	Personally.
	No, because they built all the best schools and the roads and everything.
	The Ahmadis and the Ismailis up north in the mountains.
	They have the best of their Pakistani.
	There's a sector.
	Number one.
	In the city, Beth Garland, Bethros.
	There's a sect of Islam called Amadi.
	I think I'm pronouncing that correctly.
	Apparently, if you live in Pakistan, when you come back and you have to fill out the immigration form, if you're Amadi, you have to check a box that says something like, I'm Amity, and I understand that this is not a valid sect of Islam or some shit like that.
	They make you check the box.
	Damn.
	Damn, bro.
	They don't like each other.
	This guy does that.
	Why they man, we all like them.
	Dude, you know who would never do that?
	The Christian West, bro.
	That's true.
	The Christian West would probably school.
	Hey, shut the fuck up, Shannon.
	Just fucking ride for us for one second, dude.
	We're gay now.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, Pope Francis has got a little gay.
	He's got a little gay.
	I don't want to trash the man, but he's got a little.
	That's what we used to be, dude.
	That's what Catholicism talking about.
	You don't think Pope Francis is going to be on the battlefield, dude?
	Fuck no.
	No, he wouldn't do it.
	That guy ain't stopped.
	Wait a minute.
	What is the what is I saw a newspaper headline that was like Pope Francis doubles down on climate change?
	It's like what shut up What do you mean doubles down?
	Yeah, weird.
	Why don't he say climate change is real?
	I'm gonna say that dude Oh, so is he like uh so Catholics staunch Catholics don't like oh my mom my mom sends me articles really like what like what like what she's like Pope Francis thinks dogs can go to heaven.
	What are we talking about?
	Yeah, yeah, that was big for me dude That was when I started to lose my faith a little in school Catholic school They're like dogs don't have souls they don't go to heaven.
	Yeah, I was like there's a Disney movie that's exactly going to heaven my dog Shaq is Shaq Diesel's going to heaven yeah a thousand percent I'm with you what kind of dog is black lab Shaq Diesel was he was he diesel I just loved Shaq it had nothing to do with race What happened to Jack, though?
	Jack died.
	Oh, he did.
	What didn't happen, though?
	Was it police?
	German Shepherd.
	He was reaching for it.
	He was reaching for it.
	Oh, my God.
	Put it down.
	Drop it.
	Drop it.
	Don't drop.
	He wasn't dropping it.
	That's not good.
	Drug dogs planted evidence on him after killing him.
	Careful, man.
	Them fucking German Shepherds, man.
	But yeah, my mom gets pissed off post-Francis.
	So I didn't know this.
	Andrew explained it to me.
	The Pope is supposed to be like, that's the word of God.
	Don't put this on me.
	He did try to put this on me.
	No, but you did say infallibility.
	Okay, go.
	You did say whatever he's supposed to do.
	The Pope was supposed to be.
	Nah, the Pope is like, that's like the word of God.
	He was supposed to be infallible, but I think they've changed that.
	Once they started disagreeing, that's a fucking pretty fallible when you think about it.
	Started like changing pedophiles, shifting them around.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	I think that's why Benedict left.
	Yeah, I fucking remember that.
	He was the German dude.
	He thinks Polish.
	Polish.
	He was like a Hitler youth that was hiding pedophiles.
	That's a good Catholic.
	That's a good.
	That's what I'm doing.
	Can we get his movies?
	Should we get his biopic?
	Okay.
	I'm going to buy you a painting of him for your room.
	He's terrifying.
	You don't think he's already in his room?
	He already has.
	Benedict.
	Yeah, old man.
	Have you met a Pope?
	No.
	Did you see one when you went to Vatican?
	Did you see him give?
	I've never been to the Vatican.
	Oh, really?
	No.
	Don't go.
	Don't go.
	It's honestly fantastic.
	Rome is incredible.
	Rome is the greatest city I've ever been to in my entire life outside New York.
	But you should go if you're there, but temper your expectations.
	Because I went there and I was like, it's okay.
	Rome is way more impressive.
	It's white.
	You saw a 16 chapel when you were like... Mid.
	That's so amazing.
	That's crazy.
	It's the worst man to do it.
	This city's stayed.
	It's not crazy.
	Have you seen the Chrysler building?
	I saw the Chrysler Building yesterday when I was driving through the city and I was like, fucking right, dude.
	That is sick.
	Right?
	They missed the Rome.
	When did they build that?
	What is that?
	When was that built?
	Oh, the 9-11?
	Yeah.
	It's fucking 9-11.
	Damn, that pisses me on.
	Chrysler Building, 1928.
	1928.
	That's wild.
	Empire State Building.
	Up in how many months?
	13 or something?
	13 months.
	13 months?
	Maybe 16 months.
	Insane.
	Insane.
	That's not true.
	No, built 1930 and built in 13 months.
	Wow.
	Miles.
	Wow.
	Which one is this on the Empire State?
	Amazing.
	Yo, look at how much.
	They must have thrown bodies like that.
	You saw them all sitting on the fucking craziest shit ever, man.
	Yeah.
	Just eating a sandwich.
	Five people died building the Empire State Building.
	Wow.
	That's lightweight, bro.
	It was worth it.
	It was worth it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	What about Brooklyn Bridge?
	That counts as like 20.
	Yeah.
	That's a good point.
	Yeah.
	It's five-thirds.
	Oh, this is.
	Listen, number one comedy special in the world.
	9-11 pissed you off, dude.
	9-11 fucking pisses off.
	Where were you on it on that day?
	I was in eighth grade.
	And what happened?
	I just had gym class.
	It was a pretty good day.
	They were just like, all right, everybody, I'm 35.
	Okay.
	We were senior year.
	Look rough, huh?
	Damn.
	I got to tell you, bro.
	I've been drinking for like four straight years.
	It's been tough.
	Damn.
	That happens.
Natural Born Athlete 00:09:43
	But gym class, you weren't going to do anything about it?
	You didn't want to enlist?
	No, I did enlist.
	Okay.
	I literally got joint.
	Because of that?
	No.
	No, because they played against Notre Dame.
	And then I got there and realized I wasn't going to play.
	You know, your good friend O'Connor told me he believes in a pure athleticism competition.
	Who's O'Connor?
	He's a comedian, Chris O'Connor.
	Great for you.
	There's a podcast called Stuff Island.
	Yes, with Tommy Pope.
	Also hilarious.
	He believes in a pure athleticism competition.
	He has you beat.
	He does.
	In every single thing other than offensive versus defensive line.
	Other than that, he's got me in every single thing.
	He thinks if he played D-line, he's getting to the quarterback.
	This is all.
	He says, I'm getting to the quarterback whenever I want.
	He says Shane has no lateral movements.
	I'm getting to the quarterback whenever I want.
	He says, I'm getting to the quarterback whenever I want.
	He said that.
	He said, I'm getting to the quarterback whenever I want.
	He goes, objectively, Shane is stronger than you.
	He's 5-2.
	Do you think Andrew can get to the quarterback on you?
	No.
	Wow.
	Even if I'm going the side to side on you?
	No.
	We could move some papers figure this out.
	Wow.
	I'm not doing it now.
	If I'm going.
	I'm not doing an ACL on Flagers.
	Even if I'm going side to side, that's kind of crazy.
	So, oh, wow.
	I don't have to move.
	But I might move you with my moves.
	I might move you.
	If I'm faking left and I'm swimming moving over you, if I'm doing a swimming move.
	So that's crazy.
	I said disrespectful.
	I suck in my one year of Division I football.
	But I mean, what are we talking about here?
	I mean, you have to put him on your beer of college football.
	You've never played football in your life.
	Yeah, but I think that's crazy.
	I've swam.
	I've swam.
	I'm pretty good at swimming, dude.
	I'm nice at swimming.
	Are you really?
	Yes, I'll kill Chris in swimming.
	It's kind of seeming like now you believe that he's not just an all-around better athlete because now you have no, I'm nice in the pool.
	I'm nice, dude.
	I don't know.
	I know you think I'm not.
	It's nice, dude.
	Okay.
	I got him swimming and just run blocking.
	Those are the only two things.
	He's actually stronger than me.
	What do you mean, like weights?
	Weights, yeah.
	He's so compact.
	He's, yeah.
	What about fights, though?
	Have you seen?
	He looks like he could kind of throw it out.
	He could fight, but if we fought, I would win.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	So so far, I could wrestle him.
	Oh, he sucks at basketball.
	I'd kill him in basketball.
	You look like you could actually kind of hoop.
	You're one of those football hoopers.
	It's bad, but I could score on him.
	But he's brutal.
	He looks like it's like.
	Football players are often good at batting.
	You've seen Tom Brady jumper?
	Wet?
	Tom.
	Yeah, Tom is nice.
	Chris can't score in battle.
	But Chris is quicker than him.
	No, but he can't even.
	Chris can barely make a layup.
	I would just lay off him and let him shoot.
	He can't shoot.
	How far are we from?
	He could beat you in everything now.
	Yeah, I know.
	He could beat me in all the gay sports, like running.
	He's better in golf, baseball, definitely hockey.
	He's good at lacrosse.
	What about what about like paintings?
	All the white sports.
	What about paintings?
	Who knows more?
	Like you or him would just 100%.
	I don't know.
	Chris is really smart.
	He's fucking brilliant.
	Chris is deceptively smart.
	But I can do stand-up.
	So that's what I'm an animal.
	He's an absolute animal.
	He's better at fucking running.
	That's all.
	I do stand-up.
	That's hard.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I know this guy.
	Of course, you know, Chris.
	Chris is hard.
	Chris is great.
	But Tommy Pope can get around you.
	I mean, Tommy is an athlete.
	This is a natural-born athlete.
	Tommy.
	This is a natural born athlete.
	I'm not trying to make me trash my friends right now.
	Tommy can beat me.
	Stop island.
	Stop island.
	Tommy can beat me in any sport.
	He's not that great at basketball.
	One-on-one, I can beat him.
	Nah, I think Tommy gets it.
	I've just played basketball with him this year.
	He's not that good.
	I mean, we played a couple times this year.
	And you're saying that you could beat him one-on-one.
	I would just turn around and post up from start to finish.
	He told me, he's like, I have to let him score or else he won't let me open.
	He said, The next theaters he won't let me be part of the show.
	I know what you guys are doing right now.
	And I don't like it because I'm falling into it.
	I'm starting to trash my friends.
	Tommy's very, Tommy's a great athlete.
	Yeah.
	No, Tommy looks like he's, you know, he's got muscle mass on you.
	Absolutely.
	Also, not a lady that just post him up.
	I don't think it's that easy.
	It is.
	I don't know, man.
	It is.
	This is faulty logic, I think.
	You just tap the ball out.
	You know what I mean?
	It's not that.
	Then you're all popped up.
	Destroy you.
	Destroy you, dude.
	It would be a bloodbath.
	Okay, we'll fight.
	Whatever you want.
	No, Akash has a nice little Jimmy.
	It could be a problem.
	It could be a problem.
	They have never actually seen me play.
	He has.
	If you can shoot, I'd be fucked.
	If you take off your shirt and those bobs are just bouncing around, that might be the distance.
	That's right.
	Oh, all right.
	Never mind.
	All right.
	Speaking of sucking.
	This is a funny thing that has been making me laugh.
	This is probably.
	I should.
	Well, cutting up.
	I was having sex.
	Oh, okay.
	And a lady was sucking.
	She was kissing my chest.
	And she happened to suck on a bob.
	And I nodded to sexy kids.
	All right.
	Sorry, this is too much.
	Dude.
	So then?
	Oh, my God.
	That's sick.
	So then she thinks that's my thing.
	No, no.
	And every time she does it, it gets in my head.
	I'm like, don't.
	You can't.
	I mean, that makes it so much.
	The second I'm like, don't come, don't come, don't come.
	I'm like, oh.
	So maybe I'm in again like that.
	The second you're in your head, you're like, don't.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	The best.
	It's like, I know she thinks that that's my thing.
	And she's right because it keeps working.
	I'm trying to level that.
	No, you just found your thing.
	Maybe you just hopped, dude.
	To her?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I've laughed about it.
	I've been like, man, you were sucking my tits.
	She's talking about my tits.
	I go, God damn, lady.
	Are they always sensitive?
	Dude, you just nut everywhere, guys.
	Mark, don't get me going.
	I'll fuck you from behind, dude.
	That would look good.
	No, I got ass.
	I got ass.
	Oh, that's a good one.
	I'm the cake pause.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	What do you think about lady boys?
	Thailand.
	Trip.
	I'm staunchly against it.
	Why is that?
	It's a sin.
	No, I don't think too much of it.
	I think it's hilarious when I watch documentaries on it and it's like British dudes.
	Like, I found the love of my life, Teddy.
	That's Australian, but whatever.
	You know what I've noticed?
	I get stuck in an accent.
	And I can only do it.
	I can't do British anymore once I learned Australian.
	Every time.
	I was just in Dublin for a week.
	Can you get Irish down?
	I can get Dublin Irish, yeah.
	Which is like Conor McGregor type.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That type of.
	Oh, yeah.
	I got one guy on that.
	But that's all you got, though.
	You used to have it, but then you kind of lost it.
	Yeah.
	And Australian kind of the same.
	South African.
	No, you're Australian.
	His Australian.
	Australian's great.
	It was a very fantastic Dublin.
	No.
	You drank it away.
	Drank it away in Dublin.
	I can't even speak English.
	American.
	Yeah, American.
	You can't even know that getting your tits sucked, dude.
	You're fucking all over the board here, dude.
	I knew I shouldn't have said that because you guys were going to be nasty about me being honest.
	No, dude.
	Hey, hey, hey, we'll be vulnerable.
	You guys have anything?
	Yeah.
	I like getting my dick sucked like a man and not when that happens.
	You haven't tried that one, bro.
	I actually have a tough time coming from that.
	Oh, is that right?
	Do you like in my hands?
	I'll take crying.
	Dude, imagine though.
	Imagine you couldn't mess with the girl and she was blown you, and then she takes one little girl on that two immediately.
	It's all mental.
	It's all mental.
	It is.
	The second, dude, God forbid a girl sticks a finger on my ass.
	Oh, you got it.
	I'll just be like, don't come, don't come.
	Oh, no.
	I don't even like this.
	It's the same as if a girl just goes, don't come yet.
	And then that immediately.
	It's over.
	Yeah.
	So you like it when they're like, no.
	Stop it.
	No, no.
	Yeah.
	Now it's like, if a girl, if I, all right, if it feels like a girl's about to come and she's like, don't stop, don't stop.
	Like, oh, you shouldn't have said that.
	Because now it's over.
	Now it's her fault.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's her fault.
	You know?
	Why are you guys acting like this isn't relatable?
	No, it is relatable.
	I'm just thinking about your joke with the Australian guy seeing the 9-11.
	Oh, yeah.
	I actually Googled that and a couple Australians did die on that day.
	Yeah, that made me feel kind of bad.
	Oh, really?
Australians on 9-11 00:02:30
	Why'd you ruin that?
	What?
	Why'd you ruin that for me?
	Because I didn't know that until you said that.
	And I was just thinking it was hilarious.
	Dude, 2,500 people or something.
	But they're not financially.
	Yeah.
	But I kept thinking, like, stop.
	I don't want to make fun.
	Yeah.
	Stop.
	But yeah, I'm just thinking about like, there's probably court cases where like, you know, women went through horrible things and there was like these monsters in Australia that tried to do things to them and the girls and you know, they were like, nervous, stop.
	And you ruined that for me.
	I just wanted to.
	I'm like, yo, not jumping in.
	Imagine being the judge.
	And then what happened?
	And I was like, nervous.
	Nerv.
	Nerv.
	I won't tell you my Vajm Bob.
	Those boys get down there.
	Those Indians.
	Oh, what?
	They get down to Australia.
	They break out.
	In Australia?
	Break out.
	Dude, down in Australia.
	Do you go wild?
	Do you guys get through?
	I don't know.
	Maybe.
	Have you seen the show Border Patrol?
	This is the greatest Australian show of all time where literally it's just TSA people.
	Yes.
	Like, I've only seen it in the world.
	Stopping Indians and Asians from bringing insects into the country.
	So, do you have any bugs?
	They're like, no.
	They're like, open your mouth.
	And he's a thousand flies.
	Now do you have all these bugs in your mouth?
	The 1003 mile guy.
	They've never been anywhere.
	And their first trip, they're like, we're coming to Australia.
	And they're like, no, you can't.
	You got to go home.
	You have to go home.
	And they send them home.
	And that's the whole show.
	They have 20 seasons.
	Great show.
	It's the fantastic.
	Oh, and then it's an Australian show where it's again them.
	Imagine the TSA show, but now they're saving drowning Indians.
	The life card show.
	It's Pakistani full clothes.
	They just can't handle it.
	And they're just dressing.
	And the guy's like, stand up, stand up, hugs.
	Turbans falling off.
	Bugs turmoil.
	He goes, stand up.
	He goes, oh, I thought it was deeper.
	And then that was it.
	It's in two feet of water.
	And like, I haven't seen the water before.
	Bondi Rescue.
	Bondi Rescue.
	Yeah.
	Bondi Rescue.
	That's the whole show.
	It's the greatest show of all time.
	Those two shows, nothing better.
	I've been there.
	Bondi Beach is sick.
	Pretty cool.
	Yeah.
	That pool.
	You know, that cool.
	Yeah, icebergs.
	Yeah.
	Pretty sweet.
	See some action out there?
	No, I was there in the winter.
	There's just freaks swimming in the water.
	Dude, he's right here.
	So cool.
	Bro, that's our friend, dude.
	Be nice.
	I'm not your friend.
	I'm not your friend.
	Come on.
Bondi Rescue Show 00:05:40
	Wasn't Australia upset at you because you said like that's it was totally fabricated.
	Wait, what's the beef?
	There was like a New York Post article was like, Australians are furious because I said they had no exports and they were doing nothing.
	Yeah.
	The last people on this planet that will be offended by anything are Australians.
	Yeah.
	They are down for a good time.
	So they just made that up.
	They made a show about drowning Indians.
	I'm sure there's two tweets.
	They love funny shit.
	It was probably like two tweets.
	One of the tweets was like, that's not true.
	We actually export ore and camels.
	It's like, nothing.
	Literally, you're doing nothing.
	Ore.
	What the fuck is ore?
	That's when we were out there.
	I don't know if you've ever experienced.
	Sometimes people get like, they get drunk and they get like real honest about the policies that are going.
	And they were really upset about China buying up all the mining rights.
	Yeah.
	That was the big issue there.
	And when we were there, it was like they had just found a spy in government or something like that.
	Do you remember this?
	They found like this Chinese dude that got like elected and he was like part of government and he was able to secure some rights or some shit.
	And I was like, nerf.
	Hey, you have a couple of drinks with those guys.
	We'll tell you.
	Oh, yeah.
	They like, yeah.
	Come again immediately.
	They love cooking.
	Dude, they love video poker.
	I mean, that's a sick combo.
	Can we?
	From Brisbane.
	Hold on, hold on.
	We have to get to the bottom of a little poker mystery that you're involved in.
	You're playing Padel with none other than Jamie.
	Jamie is such a bitch about this.
	I knew it was Jamie, dude.
	He's such a pussy about this.
	Go ahead.
	So bring that up, Jamie.
	Jamie Vernon, the legend.
	We pulled up Jamie.
	We pulled up Jamie for some Padel.
	We're in Austin.
	And Jamie was like, listen, yeah, the last Protect Our Parks.
	I was going to bring the story up with me and Shane.
	It gets heated, dude.
	Okay.
	Can you set it up the way that you know?
	Because we only know Jamie's version.
	All right.
	We were, I was shit faced.
	It was after a show.
	We're at a casino.
	Weren't you with?
	Yeah, with Rogan, Dana White, busting with the boys.
	Trump was just there.
	So you guys are charged up.
	Yeah.
	And Dana and Taylor LaWan are betting like hundreds of thousands of dollars, like per hand.
	Yeah.
	But then we're at the other, like a side table.
	We're playing a little bit of money.
	And Jamie gets, we're playing blackjack.
	Jamie gets an ace, gets another ace, splits it.
	Now he's out of money.
	He needs somebody to help.
	I go, yeah, I'll play that.
	I'll play that card.
	It's funny how you word it.
	Yeah, I'll play that one.
	Yeah.
	And then another one and another one.
	He got four aces in a row.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	And I ended up paying for three of the aces.
	He paid for the first one.
	And then they all won.
	And I think we should have split the winnings.
	Evenly.
	I'd say pretty even, yeah.
	Now, here's the question.
	Pretty.
	It seems.
	I just bullied him in a game.
	800 more dollars.
	I kept fucking with him.
	I kept doing that like passive shit where he'd be like, yeah, I'd be like, no, that's fine.
	That's fine.
	No, but I think you should have got more.
	75%.
	I did get more.
	Eventually, I did get more.
	And he was upset about it because I guess in poker and gambling, if somebody backs with bets, you just pay them back what they gave you.
	And then if they're not the winnings.
	No, you get a little bit.
	You have to give them a bunch of people.
	I should have gotten all my winnings, which is what I got.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You won that one.
	But I think his thing was like, I got to pay him back no matter what if I lose.
	So he has no risk.
	But it was the risk, though.
	No, that was the risk.
	If those hands lost, I lost those chips.
	Oh, he wasn't going to pay me back.
	Yeah, so he paid for this.
	If you take the risk, you deserve all the rewards.
	I agree.
	Yeah.
	He's like, I'm going to pay him back no matter what.
	This rule, after he won.
	This rule is for degenerate gambling addicts.
	They're like, well, you pay for me.
	And then if I win, it's my money and you get yours back.
	No.
	Suck my ass, dude.
	You're the one who's out of money.
	You need mine.
	Exactly.
	I won you money.
	Yeah.
	I'm on your side.
	I couldn't agree more.
	But Jamie.
	I did start bullying him a little into giving me more and more and more money.
	I believe that.
	And I was hammered enough to just take it.
	Jamie said, like, the pit boss came by.
	They wouldn't move on until we were screaming.
	We were fighting.
	Oh, we got heated.
	Eight minutes.
	Jamie was serious, and I was hammered.
	Bothering him.
	He said, you said before you put the money in, you go, hey, Jamie, money's not real.
	And then immediately I was like, it's very real.
	How much was this a winning?
	No, I don't know.
	I forget.
	I swear to God, Jamie knows exactly.
	I know.
	Jamie knows.
	$3,400, exactly.
	$340, and I think we split it even.
	Or maybe I got a little more than that.
	You shouldn't get much.
	You should get 75%.
	You pay for 75% of the hands.
	Ah, not 75%.
	If you pay for 300%.
	I should get all of it.
	Anyway, he's sticking to Jamie.
	No, we love Jamie.
	Jamie's hand.
	I'm taking.
	I invited him to Ohio State Notre Dame.
	I was going to get him his tickets because he wants to be a bitch.
	He's an Ohio boy.
	He can pay for half of the tickets.
	I think he should.
	He should pay for mine.
	I'm going to talk about that.
	Cover beers, dude.
	You can fucking Napoleon his ass in fucking conquest.
Poker Money Split 00:08:40
	Napoleon is best.
	Wait, why is Napoleon the GOAT?
	I don't know.
	I stopped reading that book.
	Oh, that chapter where it's like, why is the goat?
	I got pumped on the Napoleon preview.
	Oh, it was great.
	And I sent you something recently.
	There's like Ridley Scott has a four and a half hour cut of the movie.
	I go, I'm like, we're sending this to Rogan right now.
	We got to get it.
	And we're organizing a screening.
	And that's all I want to watch is the four and a half hour version.
	But I think a lot of people don't understand why Napoleon is the goat.
	Because in America, we look at the French as just getting walked over through wars throughout history.
	But he was that motherfucker.
	Yeah.
	So you were, when we were in our private drunk bar conversations, you were breaking down Napoleon and that's because I had just read it and it was fresh.
	I don't know.
	Total war.
	Just break down total war.
	Total war.
	Which is different than American Total War.
	To come to Show.
	Yeah, kind of.
	But yes, they were Total War was like maybe invented by Napoleon where it was like using the entire country.
	The way you were talking about using like women, just the entire country's industry switches to war.
	Like when it's wartime?
	Yeah.
	The car makers don't make cars.
	Yeah.
	They make tanks.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And bullets.
	And the entire country is like, yo, it's on.
	And no other country did that.
	War was kind of gentlemanly.
	Yeah.
	It's a weird war.
	The Lord would have like, yeah, they would like when they surrendered a fort, they would like hand him a sword and have like a meeting and all this shit.
	He was the one that was like, no, we're killing everybody.
	I'm wondering how many more people have died in war since Napoleon.
	Like, I mean, World War II was crazy.
	One and two were, we did it.
	It was the worst things that have ever happened.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	They did it.
	And we'll do it again.
	Yeah.
	We're going to do it again.
	You keep going from they to we and I'm going to love if it's a thing.
	Those guys did it.
	And now we're going to do it.
	Well, we were in both World War II alive.
	We'll be in the third, I'm sure.
	Yeah, we'll do it.
	You're not sitting that up.
	But does the third happen?
	I don't know.
	I go back and forth if the third one actually happens.
	Because I think if the third one happens, it's just everybody's dead.
	Because we have weapons of mass destruction now.
	Yeah, I just, it's like that Einstein quote.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, sticks and stones.
	Yeah, I remember Call of Duty.
	What is it?
	I'd be like, whatever, in 10th grade, just like, whoa, damn.
	It's God does it all.
	He's doing math.
	What is it?
	The last war will be fought with.
	Yeah, the first war was like bullets and guns.
	The second's bullets and guns, but the third will be sticks and stones.
	Something like that.
	Yeah.
	Nothing left.
	I don't know what World War III will be fought with, but I know World War, the next one will be World War IV with Sticks and Stones.
	Right?
	No, it sounds like he's, oh, is that it?
	No, it's the first one, Sticks and Stone.
	Mark messed up the first one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	The last one.
	It's scary.
	You guys have a fucking weird thing that makes you jizz.
	It's my wife.
	My wife really is the man.
	Don't try to be tough.
	I know.
	Just my wife.
	Just missionary with my wife.
	No, I think if they say something random out of nowhere during the session that you never heard.
	Oh, that's what you like.
	Wait, dude, Dove has been on a tear.
	Did you just call sex the session?
	Yeah.
	Dove has been on it.
	Tell me Dove has been on the table.
	He looks at it.
	It's like a session.
	No, no, it's.
	What have you been up to?
	No, no, no.
	It's been crazy.
	Yes, it's Fashion Week.
	No, no.
	No, no.
	You've got the sexy dumb dumb.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Dove has a sexy week.
	Yeah, right now it's fashion week.
	You didn't know that it was fashion week, Jay.
	No.
	Right now it's fashion week.
	All the sexy dum-dums are in town.
	Dove has a demographic that he is absolutely undefeated with, and it is stunningly beautiful women with shockingly low IQs.
	Stop it.
	They're smart ones.
	What?
	Stop it.
	You've never introduced us to a smart one.
	The girl this last weekend was very smart, very beautiful.
	But then she has a Xanax addiction.
	See, and this is, this is, there's always a Xanax addiction.
	There's always a catch with that.
	It's all a comedy podcast.
	Who cares?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Who cares, dude?
	Yeah.
	Fucking Stonewall.
	Are you wanting it for a conversation?
	He's got an ecstasy addiction.
	Who cares?
	Regulate moods.
	Yeah, no, she's shocked.
	Have you done some ecstasy?
	Wait a minute.
	Talk to me.
	Wait, Molly.
	No, no, no.
	Ecstasy.
	I mean, there's no difference.
	No, no, there is no.
	There's a fucking huge difference.
	Do you know?
	Oh, I'm going to have so much fun in the next five minutes.
	The next five minutes are going to be so much fun.
	That's what makes me.
	I mean, obviously, there is a difference.
	This is his Napoleon.
	He's going to really break it down for you.
	Oh, my brain.
	Break down total E.
	The difference is probably cocaine and meth and other amphetamines that are inserted into the pill, but it's a concoction of the best substances that make you high.
	And it has all the molly that you need to feel amazing and full and wanting to share.
	But fucking A, does music sound good on it?
	And we should do it now.
	Okay.
	We should do it now.
	Hang on.
	Yeah.
	Whoa, hang on.
	We should do it.
	But you did it one week ago.
	We should do it right fucking.
	If you did it a week ago, it won't be that great.
	We'll just double up.
	No, that's your ability to produce the serotonin or whatever.
	Oh, Tanya just said the dealer's on the way.
	I'm not really going to do it now.
	I have to go on a date with my wife to this.
	That'd be so funny.
	It'd be full of love.
	That would be the best date you'll ever have in your life.
	Best version of yourself.
	Not tell her and then be so amazing on the date that she starts to like when I'm on ecstasy.
	She won't like you after that.
	I don't like me after.
	That's the problem.
	Can I tell you something?
	I was on a dating app and the girl will have like what she likes, likes, dislikes.
	And one of the things was my simple pleasure.
	And it was Shane Gillis.
	Did you match with her?
	Of course I did.
	Dumb girls like you, bro.
	Hell yeah.
	There you go.
	She might not be young.
	She might not.
	That's how you know you made it, though.
	Was she a babe?
	Yo, can we bring it up?
	We won't show you.
	I sent him the string of it.
	Let's go.
	You got all the chisms.
	I mean, she liked Dubs.
	I can't believe I be honest with you guys.
	Yes.
	Wait, what happened when you did Molly?
	Where were you?
	I did Molly.
	The first time I did Molly was Louis Gomez's skank fist?
	That's for?
	No, he didn't get married.
	Some type of Lewis Gomez's party in like a warehouse.
	No, it was fuck.
	It was one of the Gas Digital guys bachelor party that Lewis put together.
	And me and O'Connor took Molly and it was in like, dude, it was like in a warehouse in Brooklyn with like, it was disgusting.
	It was truly disgusting.
	Lewis Gomez set it up.
	So it was like, for real.
	Yeah.
	Lewis J.
	It was like five Dominican strippers and then like the staff from Gas Digital.
	Yeah.
	And then me and Chris took Molly and just sat, like stayed away.
	We were like, I don't want to talk to the, I don't want to talk to anyone.
	This is, we just sat and looked at, actually, it was like four years ago because I was getting SNL and I was like, damn.
	Life is going to be.
	What can go wrong?
	This is pretty nice.
	But over COVID, we would have shows at Helium in Philly where, because that way we could hang out like afterwards.
	It was the only place that was like, you know, that was a bar.
	And Big J would come down and he would always have Molly.
	So every two weeks we were doing Molly.
	That's a lot.
	Yeah.
	And the first time I ever really did it since that bachelor party was I was hosting the show and then Big J was on stage and we had taken it after I had been on stage and we were just sitting in the green room and he was like, let's bring Shane back out.
	And as soon as he said it, I felt that wave, that first like Molly wave.
	Smacks you.
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	That first hit.
	Teeth just grinding.
	And then I couldn't talk.
	I got on stage and I was like, just holding my face.
	And I was like, I've never done this before, dude.
	Because Jay could take it and just go on stage.
	Wow.
	No problem.
	Wow.
	I was like, dude, how the fuck are you talking to anybody?
	I was like, all right, sorry, everybody.
	I'm on ecstasy.
	And the crowd was like, yeah, we love you.
	And I was like, dude, stop.
	The whole crowd was like, we all love you.
	I was like, dude, I love you guys so much.
	I can't believe COVID's fake.
	But you're a fan, though, of the substance.
	I am.
	It's just, it is intense.
	Yeah.
	And I don't like being around, like anytime I've ever taken it, I go sit by myself.
	Dude, we did.
	Somewhere like quiet.
	Yeah, what if you do it with people that get away from people off of it and everyone with it?
Ecstasy Stage Moment 00:02:52
	I don't know.
	I haven't really done it.
	Try that.
	Most of the times I've been the only guy on Ecstasy.
	Everyone else is like, we'll be hungry.
	We did it when we were at fucking Burning Man, obviously not this year, but last year.
	And he was like, oh, this is the most pure shit.
	And it was like, maybe it was too pure, but that's it.
	I like, didn't want to talk to anybody.
	I was just sitting back like this.
	I want it a little bit impure.
	Methyl.
	Methyl.
	You want a little methy.
	You want a little excess.
	Like, let's have something.
	Let's talk.
	Keep on avoiding the method.
	But I don't like it.
	I like it.
	Yeah.
	I like it.
	You like to casually do meth with the voice.
	I like meth.
	Tam's fetamine.
	Get fucked up.
	Dude, don't even get me supported.
	It is the best.
	This guy's addicted to the meth.
	Am I?
	Am I, though?
	I can't even imagine you on the bottom.
	Wait, you can't imagine him.
	You have seen it.
	You haven't seen him.
	No.
	It's on Green.
	No, no, no, no.
	I barely, I do it right now.
	But our conversation that we had at the cellar, if that was Adderall, no, it wasn't.
	But if it was, we were there until six in the morning.
	And we have worked through every single generation of history's greatest ruler, conqueror, leader.
	Adolph.
	Yeah.
	He was addicted to meth.
	That's right.
	They all were.
	Haircut, addicted to meth.
	They were.
	That's right.
	The Germans were fucking hopped up.
	What's up with all this satanic shit?
	That's the day around.
	Come on, bro.
	They weren't satanic, bro.
	But they were into the occults, right?
	They did the most evil shit of all time.
	But weren't they?
	What was the obsession?
	They were into the occult.
	And what is that?
	Just trying to tap in, dude.
	Get all the advantages you can.
	Is there any advantage to that?
	Because all the Satanists.
	Obviously not, dude.
	They got their shit.
	They got their shit ripped.
	Yeah.
	Like Jesus, bro.
	Jesus.
	It was literally.
	Actually, no, it was godless communists.
	Okay, the Russians.
	Absolutely busted.
	But no, no, weren't they the, they were like Christian Orthodox at the time.
	I'm sure a lot of the guys were, but yeah, the government itself was.
	Was the godless communist?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, because Russians all.
	What's up with Putin, bro?
	What's up with Putin?
	Funny way to say it.
	Yo, let's go with that.
	Yeah, what's up with Putin?
	He's wilding out, dude.
	I'm trying to like, what is the end game for Putin?
	Do you think he's like, what is a guy like that?
	Is he a prisoner of the power?
	Meaning, like, at no time in his life, can he just go, all right, guys, I'm good.
	I'm going to hand it off to somebody else.
	He has to be supreme leader until he dies.
	So he has all the money in the world.
	He's the richest guy ever, yet he can do nothing.
	Very rich.
	He gets a piece of everything.
	I'm sure he's very rich.
	He's like the guy from Turkey, where basically you're running a mafia state and you're getting a piece of every single Erdogan.
	Yeah.
	Erdogan.
	You have a piece of the trees.
	Everything.
	The ground.
	Everything.
	This.
	Everything.
	But then he can't do anything.
	So, like, at what cost?
	What do you mean, he can't do it?
	He's literally invading other countries.
	No, but I can do whatever I want.
	He can't do Molly on a fucking Saturday.
Supreme Leader Fight 00:14:22
	He's Bam Margin.
	He can do whatever he wants.
	Ultimate Freedom is Bam.
	Bam is Ultimate Freedom.
	Yeah, that is true.
	Yo, shout out, Bam.
	I'm about to invade Ukraine.
	Dude, I didn't understand.
	I watched CKY2K when I was a kid.
	It was the best.
	It was, I literally put a fucking leash on it.
	I couldn't believe how good it was.
	It was so.
	Do people understand what that is?
	There's CKY and CKY2K with these skate videos that these guys from, where in Pennsylvania?
	Westchester.
	Are they from New York?
	We just were.
	Westchester.
	Fuck out of here.
	That's all BAM territory.
	So where we're filming.
	Can I say anything?
	Sure.
	Okay.
	So we were filming Shane's new show, Tyre.
	Shane and McKeever have it in McKeever and fucking O'Connor and Pope and Will.
	Fucking amazing.
	The show is like hilarious.
	I love you, sketch.
	And it just imagine the sketches, but with narrative.
	So now you're not only rooting for somebody for three to five minutes, you're rooting for somebody for six episodes.
	Yeah, it's fucking awesome.
	It was, yeah, whatever.
	I'm so stoked to see what you guys do with it.
	That's not fluff.
	I genuinely was like, this is fucking so.
	I'm in it.
	Are you going to be honest about his performance?
	It was great.
	But actually, for real.
	You're a great actor.
	Yeah.
	Ah, dude.
	It's topic.
	It did.
	It does.
	He's not a really good actor.
	It does not get off.
	There was a couple times during a scene.
	He was showing another character his phone.
	He was talking about a chick.
	And just the way you nailed that line, I was sitting across the table just like.
	Nice.
	Okay.
	Because I was waiting.
	Because I never, I haven't really seen in comics.
	We suck at acting.
	Comedy.
	99% of them are off the charts bad.
	And it's because we're used to trying to say the funny thing.
	And in acting, your character would never try to be funny.
	Your character would be dead serious.
	And the thing that I think you guys do so well in the sketches is the characters aren't trying to be funny.
	The situation is funny with the characters being serious.
	And the show, not to like get too inside baseball about it, but like there's this thing that you guys would do.
	And we were saying it before the pod is which was so good is somebody would say a line that was funny.
	Yeah.
	And then you guys would be like, ah, it's too funny.
	It's too good.
	You can tell it's a joke.
	If you could tell it's a joke.
	And a character just hanging out would never say a joke.
	And if they did say a joke, we would all acknowledge that it was a joke.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like if I said a funny misdirection line to you, we would all go, ah, I know what you're doing.
	Where in traditional sitcoms, they don't.
	So people just have these hilarious jokes out of nowhere that nobody reacts to.
	And you're like, what the fuck is going on here?
	Yeah.
	And there's a studio audience laughing.
	They're the ones getting the joke.
	Yes.
	And the characters don't.
	Yeah.
	Which I love, to be honest with you.
	I love all that.
	Yeah.
	I feel like a dinosaur.
	That's totally acceptable.
	People love it.
	I mean, Seinfeld has a lot of it.
	You were saying friends.
	Although Seinfeld, yeah.
	Son, Friends is just punchline, punchline, punchline.
	And it's like, I'm turning my brain off.
	I'm like, this is fantastic.
	You like Big Bang theory?
	Yeah, dude.
	I knew you did.
	Yeah.
	Now he's judging you.
	Now he's being amazing, to be honest.
	Yeah.
	That guy is a good actor.
	He didn't even let you insult.
	He didn't let you insult him.
	You were about to insult him.
	He was like, nah, nah.
	I'm going to get it.
	Very successful show.
	But I don't know.
	There's like.
	And I didn't name the Indian.
	You know what I mean?
	That was my good.
	I'm glad to give him another bias.
	That was good.
	I don't know.
	I just like, I like how it sets up the world, right?
	Because it's easy to get lost in a world if you know that people are everybody's a character and they're acknowledging they're a character.
	What just happened?
	Oh, one more?
	Bring him in.
	We're doing a case race, dude.
	Oh, don't do that.
	In a fight producer in Barstool.
	Bro, I saw that.
	Why even bring that up?
	Why even bring that animal there?
	That's so devastating.
	Thank you.
	Do you win full face paint?
	Full face paint in a fight.
	I knew it was funny.
	I knew everything on there was funny while it was happening.
	But also.
	And then it's one of those things where you wake up, like you do something like so embarrassing on purpose.
	Yeah, I mean, it's so bad.
	No, I don't want to see it.
	I don't want to see it.
	Just show a screen.
	Oh, you can show me his face paint.
	Yeah.
	Imagine somebody getting into a somewhat serious fight.
	Now imagine him with the bucket head of the sunglasses.
	This is it.
	I forget it.
	What's going on?
	Oh, so we did a case race with Barstool.
	Case race.
	This is just a live podcast.
	We all got teams.
	Whoever can drink a case of beer first.
	A case of beer first.
	24 cans?
	Just a live podcast.
	So, of course, by the end of the half, I drank 20 fucking beers in like an hour.
	I'm sitting there like, yeah.
	And one of the producers kept.
	So I went to the bathroom and I didn't know while I was gone.
	One of the producers is Asian.
	And they were like, hey, just so you know, he was fired for being racist against Asians.
	And this guy just drank 15 beers.
	So he's like, I get back.
	I'm like, hey, what's up, everybody?
	He's mad.
	He's like, what's your Chinese order?
	And I was like, what?
	I'm not telling you, dude.
	I'll never tell you.
	Like, just, I'm blacked out.
	He's hammered.
	And then he came in the room and like stood over me.
	I thought we were fucking around.
	And he like tried to fight.
	And I like moved the mic and I was there's green face paint in India.
	There's a serious move.
	Are you fucking serious, bro?
	I was like, I can't believe you tried to fight me, you fucking dumbass.
	My favorite part is you being dead serious.
	All face paint going, I'm not fighting, bro.
	I'm not going to fight, dude.
	It's hard to fight in face paint.
	That is tough.
	That is tough.
	I hadn't stood up really.
	If I stood up and tried to fight a guy 25 beers deep in front of cameras, the lat, dude, that's a nightmare.
	Nightmare is getting these Asian.
	Let's say I won.
	There's a kid.
	Oh, it's even worse.
	Worst case scenario.
	I go on barstool with face paint.
	Just wailing on an Asian dude.
	I mean, just terrible.
	That was the first one we did.
	And I didn't really know those guys that well.
	Yeah.
	So then I went back a second time and it was nothing but positive energy.
	Good vibes.
	Good vibes.
	And me and that guy are friends.
	Oh, you guys are cool.
	Yeah.
	When was the last time you were in a fight fight?
	10 years ago, 9-11.
	Actually, it was on 9-11.
	First taxi driver you saw.
	You woke up.
	He was white.
	I said, You had to be.
	You're friends with him.
	What was your face made that day?
	It's two towers.
	Fucking representative for the city.
	I'm honest.
	When was your last fight?
	You've never been that.
	But he almost had.
	You can tell.
	You can tell.
	Why would someone try to fight me?
	You almost fought that girl.
	Tell the story about the girl.
	My mom was acting on it.
	No.
	She told us.
	I was like, I hate you, mom.
	I was going to CKY2K.
	I want to damn on her.
	Don't embarrass.
	No, dude, a lady bumped into me.
	She fucking shoulder checked me on the street.
	No, no, no, no.
	She went, she saw him walking down the street and went like that.
	Yeah.
	She said a screen.
	She said a screen.
	Hold on.
	You want to know how it's embarrassing?
	My older sisters played basketball.
	So I used to set, I would set picks like I had tits.
	I would go.
	I wouldn't go like that.
	When I was a little kid, I would set picks like not holding my tits.
	You didn't know?
	Yeah.
	This chick set a pick, fucking checked me on the sidewalk, and I almost went back and fought her.
	I didn't, though.
	I was a good guy, but that was the close I've been to a fight.
	I mean, that's just being white.
	We need a little more backstory.
	He did mushrooms.
	He did mushrooms the week before.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	And so he was Zen Dow.
	No.
	He was in touch with his emotions for the first time in a long time, maybe ever in his life.
	And he came into the podcast and he goes, he goes, Because, guys, I had, I'm like in touch with my emotions.
	Like, I'm starting to feel things.
	Like, yeah, this girl, this, he goes, this lesbian walked up, checked me on the street.
	I literally turned around, walked back up to her, and then I turned back around.
	But like, I thought about doing something for real, though.
	I almost caught a case on that one.
	That would have been such a mistake.
	What?
	If I fought him on the street, you're allowed to fight him with me.
	You're literally being part of the privilege.
	I beat her up, actually.
	No.
	Fuck the story.
	I beat her up.
	That's where I got this flannel.
	Fuck that.
	I stole it off her, but give me it.
	But yeah, dude, no.
	Why would someone try to fight me?
	There's no reason.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	I don't get shit faced in bars.
	You know what I mean?
	Shit rules.
	Who'd you fight 10 years ago?
	Oh, we were at a party, and my friend's a dickhead.
	And he was like, Shane, this guy's trying to fight you.
	And the guy, I was like, dude, I know he's not trying to fight me.
	Why are you doing that?
	And the guy just stood up and was like, what if I am?
	And then we just started like, it was like, well, then you started swinging?
	I'd kill you.
	He was so small.
	I love that.
	So he starts like, then there'd be a problem.
	And then we all, like, his friends, my friends, started getting involved.
	Like, then we would go outside and we get outside and he starts stretching his legs.
	And he's like, I'm a kickboxing state champion.
	And I was like, dude, I'm 300 pounds.
	I'm going to destroy.
	What are you thinking right now?
	So I grabbed him and held him over this like fence that was like waist high.
	And I was holding him down.
	I was like, dude, fucking.
	As soon as I grabbed him, he was like, all right, chill, chill, chill.
	And then while he was on his back, he went, no, punched me in the face.
	I was just like, okay.
	Just started wailing.
	Free reign wailed on that.
	It was the only fight I've been in that I was like laughing.
	Normally, for real, normally I'm crying in a fight.
	How many fights have you been in?
	Not too many.
	Can I uh what's your record?
	Undefeated.
	Wait, really?
	Oh, I've never been.
	If somebody's gonna whoop my ass, I'm like, you're like, I'll laugh at you.
	You got it, bro.
	She's yours.
	You'll fight like small people and women.
	You know what I mean?
	I have to ask, this guy's little.
	He's a kickboxing champion.
	What was Shane?
	He was a honky.
	Thank God.
	Thank God, dude.
	But I remember this is that was when thisis50.com was yeah, yeah, and I just kept yelling, this is 50.com.
	It was like pre-world czar.
	I was like, kill this kid.
	Shout out to Jack Taylor.
	Blood everywhere.
	Yeah.
	Really?
	Yeah, I broke his nose.
	This is 25.
	You're on like the streets.
	No, we were at, it was a party at Penn State.
	Younger kids.
	So you were one of the greatest adult men.
	Adults never.
	That beat up a college student.
	And what did your friend say when he was like, yo, my bad?
	No, he started the fight and then immediately like slapped his friend.
	He was, he was on him.
	Yeah, he was trying to fight.
	Yeah, he was trying to fight.
	He has the best.
	This guy's great.
	He was trying to fight.
	We were just sitting in a kitchen at a college party.
	I think it was just dudes.
	I think all the women had left.
	And then it was like, all right, let's who are we fighting?
	No, I'm undefeated in fights.
	That's great.
	But it's not like I'm good at fighting.
	It's literally just grabbing someone and holding them down and crying.
	Wait, why do you have to cry?
	I get emotional during fights.
	Wait, really?
	Face turns dark red.
	That's it.
	That's my move.
	That's the most embarrassing is getting the shit kicked out of you by crying.
	By a giant crying guy.
	He's a terrifying guy.
	It is scary.
	The giant dude beat the 65 crying baby just beating his shit.
	Squeeze me.
	He didn't even hurt me.
	Squeeze me at the bar.
	He super hard as he could.
	Fucking Hodor, dude.
	It is a fucking unmizing men over here.
	That's all.
	He's just letting me these boys.
	It is.
	He's leaving these bulls, bro.
	It's all you can do.
	I tried to fight Rogan last week.
	Really?
	Whoops.
	Oh, that picture wasn't Photoshop.
	No, he ripped my shoulder off.
	Wait, really?
	Yeah.
	And I was hammered.
	So I was like, you can't tap me, dude.
	Jiu-Jitsu's gay.
	I kept fucking with him.
	He tapped me like eight times, dude.
	He kept easy.
	Yeah.
	Do you think if you were sober and he was sober that you could wrestle at least?
	No, no, no.
	It's just too good.
	I need to see this guy fight.
	I need footage of Rogan.
	Anybody that does jiu-jitsu, but also he's excellent.
	Well, he also does the kickboxing.
	The kick is crazy.
	Oh, if he kicked, I couldn't get it.
	He'd shattered a leg immediately.
	And Ari was fucking with him while he was doing it.
	Oh, he was gassing him up.
	Ari was like, Shane, you're so much stronger than him.
	Just stand up.
	Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
	He's like, no, he's not.
	It's like, dude, he's fucking with you.
	Stop.
	Wow.
	But I was drumming up.
	He'd get me like a triangle choke or something.
	I'd be like, this is nothing, fucking pussy.
	I'm never going to fucking tap.
	Wow.
	No, that jiu-jitsu shit is not a game.
	Wow.
	It is.
	But it started with me pass blocking him.
	He couldn't get by you?
	No.
	If he went as hard as he could, that guy could probably get under.
	I wasn't willing to go as hard as I could, but I was just run blocking.
	I was just grabbing him, pushing him forward.
	And he was not feeling that.
	And then he was like, he like pulled my arms in.
	I was like, now I have your back.
	I was like, all right, dude.
	Okay.
	Did you see the fight this week?
	Is real.
	I did.
	Izzy fight?
	I did.
	What'd you think?
	It was very sad.
	Yeah.
	That sucked ass.
	Yeah.
	But Strickland's undeniably cool.
	Bro, he's great.
	He's undeniable.
	I mean, that's the thing about UFC.
	Like, I love a lot of these.
	The characters are just incredible.
	But, like, Strickland's unbelievable.
	They seem like the most funniest athletes just like to chill with.
	Bro, he wins the belt.
	They ask him what, how does he feel?
	What's going on?
	And somehow, within like a minute of answering the question, he's like, I don't think women should vote.
	And he's wild on the ball.
	He's busting balls.
Nate vs Jake Fight 00:03:44
	Like, you can tell because he's kind of like smiling about it.
	Like, he's aware of what he's doing.
	But it was such a tricky thing.
	I was watching, I was watching highlights of it today, man.
	And it was like, yeah, it's so wild to see Izzy in that situation.
	Yeah.
	Because he's just been so dominant striking.
	The only survived that, which was crazy, he survived that.
	Yeah, he got up like off the ground quickly.
	Yeah, big shot.
	Yeah, he survived that like well.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think they run that back.
	I think they run that back.
	I think I think Izzy was.
	I actually, I don't know what Izzy was up to, but from looking at the highlights, it felt as if he went in there going, Yo, I'm going to just submit this guy, and that'll be like a fun little notch on my belt because I've never submitted somebody.
	And then he was like, oh shit, this guy's really good at striking.
	And I didn't prepare for his he's like a 1920s boxer, bro.
	Like he stands in front of you.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Just walks you down.
	Distance management, crazy.
	Have you talked to Izzy yet?
	Yeah.
	Like extensively about the fight?
	A little bit.
	A little bit.
	What did he say?
	Can you share?
	No.
	But like, I think Izzy, the thing that I've always admired about him is he has this like macro view of career and world and all these things.
	Like he's looking at things like storylines.
	Yeah.
	You know, and he's like, without sharing anything, he handles these types of situations better than most.
	Yeah.
	And if you believe that there's a greater ending for you in the future, then you can handle these little hiccups.
	But I mean, imagine him selling the redemption story.
	Yeah.
	Because that's one of the things he's great at is building up the story of the fight.
	And I mean, this is going to be crazy.
	Yeah.
	Strickland's a fun character to root for, though.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's, I like it.
	He's like a new Nate.
	Yo, he really is like, yeah.
	Is he just crazy?
	Like, what does he say?
	He's crazier than Nate.
	What has he said?
	That needs to be like.
	Nate's not like strict.
	What has he said?
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude, he's a wild boy.
	Everything.
	The wild.
	I know.
	I know.
	Watch any interview.
	He's like, oh, thanks to my dad who fucking abused me.
	It paid off.
	Yeah.
	Awesome.
	It's like, victory's awesome.
	Yeah.
	He's like, abuse works.
	Yeah.
	He's like, child abuse works.
	And he's laughing while he's saying it.
	Like, he knows it's a joke.
	Okay.
	He got the belt.
	He was like, I know Dana's pissed.
	They're like, fuck this fucking retard has the belt.
	He goes, he goes, he goes, maybe I'll get a sponsorship, but fuck Nike.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Just for no reason.
	Great.
	Yeah.
	It's interesting to say that.
	That was like Nate, though, with those.
	You ever see that clip when they were all giving him like the Rocks under Armor shoes?
	Oh, and he's like, and every UFC fighter was like, these are awesome.
	These are the new coolest.
	He's like, yeah, he was like, fuck these shoes.
	Did you get checked?
	Yeah.
	I don't sound like that.
	I was like, okay, you're right.
	Never again.
	The cool thing about him fighting fighting Jake is, or when he fought Jake, was that you could tell Jake either respects him or I don't want to say fears him, but knows that he's like a scary crew that Nate hangs out with.
	So Jake didn't really go crazy in the promotion in terms of the insults to him or his family or anything like that.
	And then Nate wasn't really saying anything too crazy about them.
	There seemed to be a because like based on respect.
	So in the interviews going up, you saw Nate like I don't know, like you got to see way more of who he was as a dude.
	Like he was on Bradley Martin's podcast and he was just kind of like chilling, talking.
	Bradley's like, can I beat you in a fight?
	He goes, yeah, nah, man.
	He's snap.
	He's a podcaster.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He literally, yeah, there's no, you have no choice.
Imagine Dragons Song 00:06:02
	I don't know.
	He's a, I wonder.
	Yeah.
	I see, I see Sean stepping into that position that was in the UFC, like the anti-hero of the UFC.
	I agree, but he's saying wild.
	Like he's got to button it up a little bit because he'll make so much goddamn money if he'll just not go too far with it.
	Yeah, but if he keeps it, what he's saying is funny and true.
	Well, a lot of it is, you know, intensely true.
	Child abuse did create a UFC fighter.
	Many of them.
	Probably many, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, how long is this?
	I got a piss.
	Me too.
	Can we pause?
	Let's pause it.
	We're back in.
	All right.
	Okay.
	So like.
	Shane just shared a funny sexual story with us.
	Yeah.
	But no, yeah.
	You guys.
	Maybe someone else could try.
	You ever get your nibble sucked?
	Okay, guys.
	Can I be honest with you, Shane?
	Can I be honest with you?
	I have not.
	Can I be honest with you?
	I've had ass play.
	Ew.
	It was a dick.
	It wasn't like a finger or something.
	No, no.
	A girl licked my ass and played with the rim.
	I wouldn't let her go in out of fear that I would enjoy it.
	I did feel that same fear.
	I'm going to be honest with you.
	And it was the most incredible thing.
	And she came back.
	This is years ago, years ago.
	I'm a happily married man.
	And he talked about this on the podcast.
	I talked a bit ago.
	And she came back and I prepared for it.
	I stopped the hookup.
	I went to the bathroom and I washed to make sure it was really nice.
	Real nice.
	And I tried to like toot it to make her do it.
	And she wouldn't do it again.
	Ooh, it must have been bad.
	Wow.
	Rotten.
	And I know how girls feel.
	Rotten, bro.
	So you'll never feel that with your clean tits.
	Yeah.
	Fucking nice tits.
	One time.
	You never had no ass plate?
	No.
	Really?
	Come on, dude.
	You don't even have hair.
	You don't look like you have a hairy ass.
	You have a nice little pink ass.
	I do.
	That's the lies.
	Have you ever done Sugon?
	Son, you would come thinking about it.
	Just imagine a girl just put her fucking.
	I'm not your fucking son, dude.
	Just imagine.
	I am not your son.
	Girls are like that.
	No, I don't like that before they're sucking you, too.
	No.
	Like, that's the next level ass.
	Sucking tits.
	It wasn't like full-on grabbing.
	Oh, stop it.
	No.
	I was just kissing.
	It was kissing.
	That's all I took for you.
	That's all I took for you.
	Imagine a suck.
	Imagine a deep thing.
	It was some soup.
	She got some songs.
	Oh, shit.
	She got some milk out a little.
	You got to try Sugon with a girl.
	What's Sugon?
	That's where you suggest.
	I hate you.
	You're fucking gay.
	You're so gay.
	Yo, how did you fall for that, Shane?
	How did you take an Uber here from Queens to fall for that shame?
	You guys are so fucking good.
	Dude, I know.
	Why are you flicking him off?
	I know.
	Because he's a gay man.
	He's a crazy guy.
	I have to sit here and I don't.
	Yeah, I know.
	This shit sucks.
	Dude, I feel you.
	He's done.
	Arcash is done too.
	He's just these two fucking dips.
	Sometimes it gets, dude.
	Sometimes it gets.
	Do you know who fucking DM'd me?
	The Imagine Dragons?
	Do you know them?
	Wait, really?
	Yes.
	I'm waking up.
	No, not the pot.
	Oh, I know what you're doing.
	I know what you're doing.
	What am I doing?
	Go ahead.
	What?
	You want me to imagine dragons?
	Come on, dude.
	Took me a second.
	I was excited to sing.
	That was what you were talking about.
	My friend Billy, we don't fuck.
	Was talking to me about you were asking about freestyling.
	This is the best game, is having your boys sing.
	For real sing.
	Oh, we do that right now.
	But like as hard as you can.
	Yeah, we do it.
	Like, genuinely try to sing.
	Doo-doo-doo.
	Now by yourself.
	No, by yourself.
	Do it by yourself.
	You want to leave him out?
	Sing it by yourself.
	Doo-doo.
	The very first time.
	No, you got to really sing on.
	You got to sing loudly.
	Yeah, they said hello.
	And I said, hi.
	I knew right then you were the one.
	Ew, dude.
	All right.
	But I was caught up in physical attraction.
	No, sing.
	You're being quiet.
	To my satisfaction.
	Yeah, don't look at me, Barack.
	Oh, you like that.
	You like that.
	I hit that note.
	You just like, ooh, eye contact with me, Barry.
	I got a little tigling.
	Don't mark.
	All right.
	Keep button.
	Go, pass it over.
	But to my satisfaction.
	Different when you're mumbling, mumble singing anyone you're doing.
	The one Andy Fayette will ever fall in love again.
	I will be sure that the lady is afraid.
	Andy Fayen.
	What a mistake.
	I will be sure that the family doesn't like you.
	I hate you guys.
	Hey, hey, you're my friend.
	I should have never told you guys about my businesses.
	All right, what song you got?
	You got a song, right?
	Yeah.
	All right, go.
	All right.
	Do you want to be go?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yo, yo.
	I don't have any songs.
	I don't, I don't know.
	Imagine dragons, you just did it.
	Yeah, true.
	But hit it.
	What about some creed?
	I can sing some creed.
	All right, go.
	Hold on, let me get you some uncomfortable is amazing.
	You guys all sang together like a bunch of freaks.
	What song do you want, though?
	We are.
	I watch friendship.
	What do you think stuff?
	We sang.
	First of all, I didn't sing because I can't, but one by one they sang.
	Yeah, we all sang.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They're amazing.
	I agree.
	I agree.
	You guys are.
	I didn't get into it.
	I don't think I know.
	I just heard the news.
	I told you I was COVID-19.
	My throat's a little wild.
	All right.
	What did he say?
Kenny McBride Surfing 00:14:33
	Oh, he called you a chef, bro.
	Big chef dog.
	Chef Boyard.
	He was.
	So wait.
	Barack Obama.
	Hang on.
	Okay.
	I got it.
	I got.
	I got it.
	Well, I just heard the news today.
	Barack Obama.
	That's not the list.
	He's fucking gay.
	His ass wide open.
	That is.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	We got one.
	Another one.
	Stay there.
	Tell him to bring out the whole chef.
	Holy shit.
	Oh, my God.
	Tell him to bring out the chef's whole.
	DJ Paladin, if anyone understands that.
	DJ Khaled.
	You know, Dev, the body fat annoyed me so much when you did that.
	I annoy you.
	It was annoying.
	I just blogged it out.
	I'm blocking it out.
	He gets excited.
	He has to say that.
	That was great.
	Whole chef.
	Are you smart?
	On his EQ level?
	EQ?
	He's smart.
	God damn.
	IQ.
	No, very smart.
	That's a bad start.
	I got EQ about 120.
	Andrew, explain.
	Very, very smart.
	He is Ashkenazi brain.
	He's a Sephardic, but he is Ashkenazi brain for sure.
	But he has an amazing ability to adjust IQ to the woman that he's talking to.
	So if he's talking.
	He's part of his EQ.
	Unbelievable.
	So if he's talking to a dumb girl, he can be, I mean, completely involved in this conversation and they can be having the most fun.
	He's having the most fun.
	And then he can have a very sophisticated conversation with somebody and it can be there.
	It's unbelievable.
	He's the smartest person in this room.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I believe it.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah.
	Maybe that's why, yeah.
	That makes sense.
	He's single.
	That's.
	No, no, no.
	It just seems something.
	Jewish.
	It was either dumb or smart.
	That's why I asked.
	It's whatever you need me to be.
	Yeah.
	And he knows.
	I'll be whatever character you need me to be.
	I'm telling you.
	It's terrifying.
	It is.
	It's terrible.
	Why do you do that?
	I ain't do nothing.
	Why'd you say that?
	Oh, you don't have to stop.
	Did you do a Shane like that?
	Did you do it?
	What do you mean?
	I was like that tap itch on my nose.
	That's it.
	Did you do that?
	He's dead.
	I had an itch.
	You like Kanye Itch?
	You like Kanye?
	Come on.
	Kanye rules.
	Kanye rules.
	Listen, I'll say something about Kanye.
	I won't.
	But I'll tell you what.
	Cut his mic.
	Kaseta.
	Cut his mic.
	Blue Square all day at Blue Square.
	We do have allies here.
	Yes.
	What's Blue Square?
	Oh, you would.
	Stop Jewish hate.
	You don't support the blue, dude?
	I know a blue lady.
	I backed the blue.
	Blue lives matter.
	He's got a thin blue square on his car, dude.
	Yeah, blue lives matter, especially like in modern Palestine.
	Do you think that blue lives?
	Blue lives really matter over there.
	They're expensive.
	They're costing a lot of other lives.
	Whoa, dude.
	No, I don't know enough about the conflict over there, but for real, free Palestine.
	Up the raw free Palestine.
	What is that, bro?
	Support all my freedom fighters, bro.
	Fucking McGregor.
	Did McGregor say that?
	No.
	But you just didn't pervade a McGregor.
	That's how I speak.
	Spot on.
	Irish accent.
	Dude.
	All right, we're back.
	We got a little buzz going.
	Bro, we got a nice little buzz going, and like, we just got to decide where to take it.
	Are you drinking?
	Yeah.
	He's not blackout.
	Honestly, he's not buzzing up.
	Get Charcoal.
	Yeah.
	Get involved.
	Re-ups.
	You're being a real fucking chef.
	I don't want to do that.
	You're being a real fucking chef.
	You're being a chef, dude.
	Don't make me throw you in a fucking pond.
	Come on.
	With a floatable device attached to your leg.
	If I have a floaty, if I have a float.
	You have a floatable device attached to your leg.
	Don't make us do it.
	Don't do this, do it.
	There wasn't a lot of news about it.
	Paddleboard.
	Don't you bait me.
	Don't you?
	Not me.
	There was a lot of news about it.
	You almost died with a surfboard attached to your leg.
	That is true.
	I did.
	Yeah, but was it in an ocean?
	Yeah, it was.
	That's a lot different than a fucking lay care pond.
	That's a good point.
	Now, that's drowning in pond.
	You're being fucking surfable.
	Actually, that's really mean.
	I didn't do that.
	But also, he stand up, right?
	Stand up.
	Wait, do you mean he died in a pond?
	Bro, yes.
	I thought it was the ocean.
	No, you can't paddleboard in a fucking ocean.
	It's a wage, nothing.
	What are you talking about?
	That's where you paddle.
	No, come on.
	No, everybody knows that.
	You guys are being crazy.
	You guys are being crazy.
	Nobody paddleboards in the ocean.
	Here's what I heard.
	I heard his chef was writing a memoir that was like, I'm gay, and I'm going to come out and tell you guys about it.
	Did you really hear that?
	I didn't hear that.
	And then he was found in a pond.
	Yes.
	I'm gay.
	I used to blow his back out and I used to also make him Pop-Tarts in the morning or whatever the fuck.
	Toaster shoot.
	That's what I'm saying.
	That's bullshit.
	You said Pop-Tarts.
	Come on.
	Why?
	Was Pop-Tarts not a good thing?
	No, straight guys eat Pop-Tarts.
	Don't even heat them up.
	Yeah.
	That's how straight guys.
	If you heat up your Pop-Tarts.
	Yo, can I?
	You're a chef.
	Did you go frosting on yours, dude?
	Fucking right, dude.
	If you go straight crossed, you're a serial killer.
	The crust is crazy.
	So you would do strawberry frosting?
	No.
	Obviously, I'm a smore man.
	I knew you were a small man.
	I knew you were a bad guy.
	What's your gasp?
	If you're drunk in a Wawa, what are you walking away with?
	Wawa?
	Italian hoagie.
	And what about like candy?
	Full-toasted hoagie.
	I'm not a candy guy, believe it or not.
	I'm a meat guy.
	That's the grossest shit I've ever heard.
	No way.
	Slim Jims in his mouth.
	No, you gotta go then.
	A late night sneak ice cream or nothing like that?
	No, I don't really eat a lot.
	Ice cream Sandos, Toll House at the hotel.
	No.
	You go protein.
	You're eating like a hotel.
	Beer and meat.
	This is disgusting.
	He's O-line.
	You gotta go to Shawty.
	What is your one bougie thing?
	What is your one thing that it's that's a great question?
	Yeah, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit like I wouldn't want people to know.
	I'm a little bit hot.
	I'm afraid they know.
	I have first-class flights.
	You have to do first-class so you can read your Steinbeck.
	I was really impressed with that.
	Shut up.
	We're sitting next to each other on a flights.
	Where are we going?
	I forget.
	We're both going to North Carolina or something like that.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	And you were knee-deep in some Steinback.
	You just airdropped both of us pictures of a guy's ass.
	Yeah.
	And then we looked over this.
	Then I got him some east of eating.
	Yeah, I was on those.
	What's the other bougie expense?
	Is it like, okay, obviously the comfort of first class.
	Is there anything?
	Is there anything you're like, uh, I didn't know that I was this guy?
	And then you experience it and you're like, now I kind of have to be this guy.
	No.
	Really?
	No.
	Hotels, you don't care.
	You don't have to stay at a nice hotel?
	Hotels.
	Okay.
	So we're going to find a channel.
	It's a little, but no, it was like, I thought I was like, I don't care where I stay.
	And then I got in the worst hotel possible.
	And so I called my manager and I was like, all right, can we, what the fuck?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I'm talking like the worst hotel possible.
	Like motel, like you park in front of the fucking.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So what do you demand right now?
	Nothing.
	You have a rider?
	No.
	Any snack.
	Any snack?
	I can't figure you out.
	In my green room, I get fruit and hummus.
	Hummus is good.
	Solid.
	Bud Light and white clothes.
	Solid.
	But that was just my manager came up with that.
	I cannot figure it out.
	I can't figure you out.
	Why?
	That is a rider, but he's saying he didn't come off.
	I didn't do that.
	She just did it.
	She knows.
	But it's a nice, it's a nice luxury.
	Yeah.
	Nah, but it's like what else?
	You want steak dinners and shit.
	Well, I want chicken and steak because I don't want to just eat.
	I don't want to eat pizza.
	Yeah.
	You see the difference between hummus and white coal.
	What do we start with?
	We have a fucking hummus platter that's there all the time.
	No, you start with that.
	His whole rider is just hummus and white car.
	So there's a difference.
	What are you ordering for dinner?
	That's what I'm saying.
	It's like, I'm that shit is crazy.
	What's going on here?
	What we're talking about.
	No, there's got to be one.
	You've got some money.
	There's got to be a thing.
	He's embarrassed to be remotely demanding.
	I would never be demanding.
	See?
	Out of shame.
	Ever.
	Now, now.
	I mean, hopefully I get there.
	The perception of bougie is worse than the perception of gay.
	Oh, that's interesting.
	Answer.
	Okay.
	This is the, I have one pair of pants.
	These shoes stink.
	I've been wearing them for three months.
	That's a three-month white sneaker.
	Yeah.
	Oh, hell yeah, dude.
	Did you clean them before you came on?
	I cleaned them when I did the Chappelle show and I knew all the black people were going to criticize them.
	They're so disrespectful.
	Did you talk to Travis Scott?
	I did not talk to Travis Scott.
	I stood right next to him before he went on stage.
	Most famous, most famous person you were next to that you didn't talk to.
	Travis Scott.
	Number two.
	Or that you wish you did and you just didn't have anything to say.
	Larry David and Will Farrell.
	Wait, When Will Farrell hosted SNL, I went.
	And you were getting kicked out.
	No, it was funny.
	It was the year I got kicked out.
	And Lorne invited me to go.
	And I was just in the like his office.
	And all the, like, when I got there, everybody that worked there was like, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	What are you doing here?
	Like, Lauren invited me.
	Like, oh, it's cool.
	And then at the end, everybody sits in the office and waits.
	And then he comes out or like his people come out and they're like, Shane wants to talk, or Lauren wants to talk to you.
	And it's like, sick.
	He got me in front of everybody.
	I was like, so you go in.
	But they were all in there.
	Like Larry David and all those guys were in there.
	How many people in the room?
	Probably 20.
	Okay.
	So there's 20.
	So it's not awkward.
	I was like talking next to them.
	Any mention?
	Were you listening?
	Were you like included in the conversation?
	No.
	It was brief.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	David's probably the one.
	And then Will?
	Yeah.
	He would have been cool to talk to.
	Yeah.
	He's the best.
	Because you heard that story with McBride and Will, right?
	No.
	How McBride got Foot Fissue made?
	Oh, it's him.
	No.
	What?
	Have you seen Foot Fissué?
	You haven't seen that?
	I saw it when it came.
	I ran it at a blockbuster on whims.
	I never even heard of it.
	Dude, first of all, one of the funniest fucking shows ever.
	So, do you know who Danny McBride is, obviously?
	Eastbound and Down.
	Kenny Powers.
	Kenny Powers.
	The guy with the mullet.
	You got to keep going.
	Pull up a picture.
	You'll know who he is.
	You don't know Danny Mowdy.
	He's in Tropic Thunder.
	You seen Tropic Thunder?
	Keep going.
	Yeah.
	So, I hate you.
	Kenny Powers?
	Like, I'm telling you, there's two different worlds.
	No, no, stop with this.
	Oh, no, I'm black.
	I don't know the best comedy.
	Oh, okay.
	You watch 324 movies.
	No, I know.
	I'm fucking, but I don't know names.
	Okay, okay, fair enough.
	Just the white guy with the mullet.
	Say that, and I will make it.
	Who is it?
	Kenny as well.
	What's the other guy?
	That's exactly what I'm saying.
	That's literally what I said.
	Verbato, what I said.
	What is a, it's a Kenny Powers and the guy who he produces with is Adam McKay.
	So they make Foot Fist Way, right?
	I think, so the story goes.
	You should ask Kenny.
	Oh, Adam McKay was with Will Farrell.
	They made it.
	Oh, so then Adam is with Will.
	Yeah.
	So apparently they sent a cassette tape to Will Farrell's production company or whatever that said, do not watch.
	They watch and then they end up.
	Damn.
	That's cool.
	Awesome.
	And anybody who hasn't watched it, I would not be surprised if this shit is on YouTube.
	It is so fucking funny.
	Foot Fistway.
	It is so fucking funny.
	Yeah.
	Wait a boy.
	It's basically like a precursor to Kenny.
	Yeah.
	Like you can see all the attributes of Kenny.
	He plays like a local karate instructor in like rural Indiana or something like that.
	He fights, no, North Carolina, I think, right?
	Fair.
	And he fights Chuck the Truck.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Who's his hero?
	His best friend?
	You're my hero best friend.
	Dude, when they go to the hotel party and that guy's just strumming a guitar, bothering that kid, he's like, you're just a little jerk.
	You're a little pants that he's wearing.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Anyway, this is like Kenny.
	This is Danny McBride before you get to see Danny McBride.
	And like, oh, I'm sorry.
	You've never seen Eastbound Down?
	Eastbound and Down wasn't as big as I saw that.
	I never saw Foot Fist Way.
	I saw that.
	Foot Fist Way is like super niche.
	But Eastbound Down is big, but you gotta see Eastbay.
	It's literally the best comedy.
	It's so good.
	It's the best comedy.
	I think it's so good.
	It was so dark.
	At certain point, I was like, I can't keep doing this.
	But it's so funny, dude.
	So, all right.
	Seinfeld, Kerb, where do you put it?
	I put Eastbound Down number one.
	What?
	I don't put it over Kerb.
	Kirb's pretty incredible.
	Kerb's incredible.
	Eastbound and Down, what I would say is like, it is so unique.
	Yeah.
	You just haven't seen it.
	I think up until that point in time, like when I saw Foot Fist Way, I was like, I haven't seen a comedy like this, and this is just really odd.
	And I keep watching it, and it's hilarious and endearing.
	But the guy's also a scumbag.
	So he's this.
	He's always an anti-hero.
	It's like, he's perfect.
	Yeah.
	He says the most audacious shit the whole time.
	And you're still like, damn, I hope he does well.
	And he's funny.
	I'm cheering for that guy.
	He's funny without trying to be funny.
	He curses funny.
	The way he describes things is funny.
	The way that he is like emotionally connected to people is funny.
	Like calling someone, you're my hero best friend.
	Like dead serious saying that to a guy that he's met once in his life.
	And he's like a karate.
	Bro, how do you even pitch a show like that?
	Oh, this is great.
	Yeah.
	It's fantastic.
	Is it still on?
	I think you could probably watch it.
	It's on HBO.
	Yeah.
	HBO Matt.
	Oh, Eastbound Down.
	I mean, the fact that you're just finding out about Eastbound Down.
	It's like there are multiple worlds, bro.
	There are.
	Yeah.
	Not everything's black and white, brother.
	No, I'm telling you.
	You know a lot of white people.
	Eastbound transition.
	I get a bunch of black shit that you've got.
	You're wearing a fucking Metallica Kiss sweatshirt on the bottom.
	Half the shit that I'm wearing is literally a white Metallica Mickey Mouse guns.
	Guns and Roses.
	You don't even know.
	Newbounds.
	I looked at it.
	I was like, oh, that shit's fire.
Drugs and Eastbound Down 00:12:26
	Dude, you're appropriate.
	You're working at 196 golf clubs.
	You guys weren't even allowed in.
	I don't like you saying different worlds.
	You went to fucking high school in Manhattan.
	You went all over the country with this guy on the show.
	Don't do it, motherfucker.
	Don't do it.
	What?
	Don't do it.
	Make good points.
	That's what he's saying.
	Black culture that Shane doesn't know.
	You got your nails painted talking about some shit don't hit us.
	Stop it.
	Nah, there's super black culture that you guys haven't adapted to yet.
	Okay, Drake painted his nails a few weeks ago.
	Yeah, there we go.
	It's like, you haven't adapted to it yet.
	You will all have your nails painted.
	White guys are not.
	Yeah, but y'all got that from white people.
	You black people are just entering their fucking emo face.
	They're gay.
	We've been there, bro.
	Yeah, but we pioneered being gay.
	Any gay shit y'all do, y'all got from us.
	But it all circles back around, and then you guys are going to start doing it.
	Yeah, good shit got to be for black people for them to get angsty.
	This is a new thing.
	This is like an equality thing.
	Y'all just got the ability to have angst.
	Your baseline needs are finally getting met, and you're like, well, I'm still not happy.
	White people have been on that, bro.
	Yeah, I have everything I need, and I'm not happy.
	It's angst.
	Whoa.
	You got your nails painted.
	You look like an angst.
	You know what I mean?
	I love Schultz epiphanies.
	Schultz epiphanies are my favorite.
	Yo.
	He repeats a statement.
	He's like, that's crazy, though.
	It's true.
	Schultz epiphanies.
	That shit be making you get.
	I did it.
	Yo, I did it.
	It's true.
	We were at the lunch and I was complimenting him.
	I was telling him he's the only guy I know that he wants to hear about you.
	He's in, like, if you get drunk and sit down and start talking, he's like, what's going on with you?
	I sit there.
	I'm like, I'm fucking.
	It's just me the whole time.
	That's funny.
	We were in the, yeah, we were.
	I won't share part of it, but we were just talking and you were like, telling me about everything that's going on in your life and all these things.
	And then at one point, you just stopped.
	You go, all right, that's enough.
	That's enough.
	What's going on here?
	I don't know anything about you.
	How's your family?
	How's your mom?
	How's your dad?
	How's everything?
	He said, all right, that's enough.
	Well, I realized maybe I'm like, yeah, my sister is addicted to drugs.
	Wait a second.
	I don't know.
	I'm showing him family pictures.
	I'm showing him pictures of my family.
	I was like, this is my nieces.
	Yeah, it feels like he stopped filing ammo or such.
	It's like, why do you keep asking?
	No, I'm just curious.
	I know, but it's so abnormal for people to care that he's a good idea.
	No, us humans.
	We just want our turn to talk.
	That's a human thing.
	And I said it to you.
	I think there's probably a selfish intent there.
	Like in the worst case, it's just like, hey, you have some information that I'm interested in and I want to learn about it.
	He's always been there.
	And sometimes it's like, and sometimes it's about maybe some history thing that I'm interested in.
	That's crazy.
	What is that?
	Nobody's like that.
	No.
	Nobody's like what?
	Like wanting to learn?
	Yeah.
	I think about other people.
	I think with, but also this is my dad.
	The way that my dad interacted with people and I'm just like literally mirroring him is like anybody he was talking to, there was something interesting.
	And he was like, okay, what?
	I'm going to get to that interesting thing.
	I'm curious about it.
	So I have good quality.
	You can all learn from it.
	Anybody you're talking to has something interesting.
	Whoa.
	Bro, think about that.
	Think about that.
	Yeah, it is true.
	Think about how it is.
	Bro, think about how that is.
	Everybody has a story.
	Yo, hands like fingers like this.
	No, it is true, though.
	It is true.
	Yo, yo.
	I'm wrapping my mind around this idea.
	So embarrassing.
	No, it's not.
	I'm not going to be interested in anyone account.
	That's how I feel.
	What are you guys about to get my nipple suck?
	You guys all bailed on it, dude.
	None of you.
	I know you guys.
	I got a rim job.
	I just flew gay.
	I got my hip or something while I was fucking, dude.
	Arkas blew my mind.
	I was like, holy shit.
	Does black angst mean equality has been achieved?
	Yeah, of course it does.
	No.
	Absolutely.
	I'm like, no, equality hasn't been achieved yet.
	Don't fucking back up from it.
	You're a lot closer.
	You're a lot closer.
	We're getting closer, but it's not.
	And also, you can see it.
	What a great observation.
	You can see it.
	Yes, we, we, we, what a great observation.
	We realize that.
	To deal with the frustration of having what you need and still being upset.
	That's angst.
	But that's such a small portion of the bi community.
	What is it?
	Shut up, yo.
	I hate you being drunk and trying to be Obama right now.
	I hate it.
	Yo, I'm sorry.
	Akash said some mind-blowing shit, and y'all didn't listen.
	That's what it was.
	Y'all interested.
	You were listening and you were interested.
	You went ahead and shot it too.
	That's all it takes.
	That was fucking beautiful right there.
	Hey, they are in ecstasy.
	That's all ecstasy feels like.
	That's just Bud Light, brother.
	That's all you need.
	You're going to be sad as fuck tomorrow, though.
	Yeah, let me get another one.
	I'm sorry.
	You too, Shane.
	I'm good.
	I've been drinking a lot.
	Yeah.
	What else can we learn?
	We have to piss against you.
	Why are you looking like that, yeah?
	Because you know what it is.
	No, no, but what is what it is?
	I was upset because he's just not interesting.
	I never asked questions about him.
	Al, I think you're interesting.
	Thank you.
	You got all types of shit on.
	That's it.
	What do you want to know?
	What do you want to know?
	You do too.
	This is sick, bro.
	What's going on here?
	It's my boy.
	He sent me the shirt today.
	Who's up?
	Heavy Slime out of Philly.
	Oh, dude.
	Shout out to Heavy Slim.
	This is Jalen Hurts.
	Wait.
	There's a robot.
	Yeah, it is fire.
	Cool.
	What does it say on your shirt?
	It says.
	No, don't read it.
	I don't know.
	I took it off.
	Our job is to secure the white race.
	I know now why you lose, but it's something I could never do what we make.
	Yeah, this is just, he makes cool Eagles.
	Yeah, it's fire.
	Eagles shirts.
	Okay.
	Let me look at.
	So to show you like Zion.
	Hold on.
	I literally just ripped it out.
	I ripped it out of a package and put it on.
	I don't even know what time it shows.
	I don't have clothes.
	They pointed this shit out.
	Who cares about the clothes?
	No, it's a mistake.
	Who cares about the clothes?
	I can use some clothing.
	Okay, we'll work on the clothes.
	When did Alex black out, bro?
	I know what he's out of drugs.
	I was like, bro, I don't know you that well.
	I know what I got to talk about because you are fat.
	Okay, look, I know what it was.
	At a certain point, Alex blacked out.
	We all pretend like he wasn't.
	It's okay.
	Listen, here it is.
	And I like Blackout Alex.
	I'm going to check myself right now.
	Here's there.
	I'm having a point of view.
	The importance of sickness about this.
	The importance of alcohol.
	The importance of alcohol.
	See, this is like a fucking sickle.
	It's that bad.
	Alex is drunk last.
	And he doesn't want to play and I take these things off.
	Okay.
	You drink alcohol.
	No, the importance of alcohol.
	No, we had this conversation.
	It was either me or you, or I forget.
	But I think we had it on the pod.
	The cultures that abuse alcohol are the ones that have no emotional reactions during the regular day.
	The stiff upper lip.
	Like you look at British people, right?
	It's just like, I'm not going to react.
	And then you abuse the alcohol because you're like, finally, I get to connect.
	I get to tell people how much I love them.
	I get to tell people how interesting they are.
	I get to have my fucking, like, look at all the American fucking writers or poets.
	They're all drunks around heroin.
	You see, look at the Irish, the same thing.
	And it's just like, the one time I'm allowed to feel something, here it all flows out.
	And then I think it was maybe you we were talking about the podcast.
	They're like, Latinos are not abusing alcohol because they're feeling on 10 emotions all the time.
	They're loving their fucking kids.
	They're going crazy.
	Not like, not like Russians or British people do it, where it's like, there's a time.
	Yeah.
	There's a time to do such a thing.
	And so I do think that there's a value to alcohol because if you are going to have a stiff upper lip about life and you're just going to be like, oh, stop being a little bitch about things.
	Like, you know, our biggest issue.
	I love it.
	What, what, what, what, no, no, no.
	No, they're laughing at you.
	No, he's not.
	He's chuckling right now.
	They're laughing.
	No, I'm loving the joke of it.
	I've never seen you.
	I thought they were laughing at me and I was trying to make it.
	You're laughing at me.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I've never seen that side of it.
	No, for real.
	So, so what I thought was, I thought I think is cool about alcohol.
	We shit on alcohol all the time, but I think the cool thing is, is, yeah, be a fucking man about life.
	Have a stiff upper lip about life.
	Don't bitch about every fucking problem.
	And then get shitty on the weekend.
	And then bitch about everything.
	Talk about how fucking annoyed you are about the Jets.
	Talk about how annoyed you are about your wife.
	Talk about how annoyed you.
	And then tell your friends how much you love them.
	And then Monday comes around and fucking toughen up again.
	It's a good deal.
	The Russians, bro.
	The Russians get it.
	You write a ballet on the weekend and be your wife during the week.
	Who's gayer than the Russians?
	But who's also more stiffer upper lip than the Russians?
	The Russians have the fucking, what is it, Dostoevsky or whatever?
	Just straight emotion about how much he loves.
	I've never seen a Russian love anything.
	Right?
	So it's like, it's there.
	You just need the alcohol excess it.
	I think alcohol is good.
	Alcohol rules.
	It does rule.
	Yeah.
	You don't got to commit to it.
	Why don't you just get in touch with your emotions?
	Well, that's gay.
	Well, that's gay.
	Don't be emotional all the time.
	Yeah.
	Just have little portions of this.
	It's so fun, so emotional.
	Listen, it's amazing.
	It's awesome.
	There's so much love there.
	100%.
	Crying about everything.
	You talked about that.
	Latinos on 10.
	Yeah.
	All the fucking time.
	We are.
	But they'll never conquer anything.
	Probably not.
	Which is maybe a good thing.
	No socialists.
	Them Spaniards conquered.
	Them Spaniards conquered.
	And then they got like, you know.
	Them Spaniards conquered.
	Yeah, but they started to like mix.
	You see what I'm saying?
	They still want to ask him.
	It's not crazy.
	I'm struggling right now.
	I'm struggling right now.
	Come on.
	I'm struggling right now.
	He got that part of time awards when he's sober.
	What were you drinking?
	This Bud Light's got you.
	Were you drinking Bud Light?
	No, it gets you.
	Oh, you're drinking liquor.
	You just make some water.
	Nah, but they started to mix.
	And then...
	Shut up.
	He just went on that bullshit line.
	He ruined that whole speech.
	He says two words like this.
	I'm not going to let him have any fucking niggas and emotions or feelings now.
	That's his pot.
	What's your thought here?
	No, I just think that Spaniards mix with a lot of shit.
	Fucking shame.
	No, all right.
	This is how I'm serious.
	No, don't do it, bro.
	Don't fall.
	So alcohol good.
	Oh, yeah.
	For some.
	Drugs also fucking awesome.
	Awesome.
	Awesome.
	But higher cost.
	Too indulgent.
	Alcohol is the perfect level of drug where you can kind of compartmental.
	I can't even talk compartmentalism.
	Drugs are you talking about?
	Because we're.
	You're talking about like Coke and heroin and you're doing these things all the fucking time.
	Yeah, you're going to have those feelings.
	You're going to have that release that you need, but you won't be able to operate in normal life.
	Maybe cokey can do it a little bit, but like you see people who do it as like a weekend drug.
	What's that laugh?
	This is Coke.
	You're trying to have like a regular life and doing Coke.
	You can't wild.
	You can't.
	You're psychotic.
	So it's like we shit all over alcohol, but it is the perfect drug.
	Yeah, but they burn out.
	That's like a harsh.
	If you're doing a ton of Coke, that's a harsh burnout.
	No, we're talking about like Julia.
	You can use rocket fuel.
	That's hitting the NOS and fucking.
	Yeah, but finance bros, you think the ones at the top, top don't fuck with the top.
	On the way out, I think they're probably doing like Adderall and just infettiving.
	Some type of upper.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	So just also doing drugs.
	They're doing drugs.
	I think this is going to sound weird, but like I think drugs are almost like a necessary component to dealing with life in the way we have to live it.
Fume Device Promo 00:03:52
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I don't think you need to do drugs if you're fucking in Alaska.
	Yeah.
	Oh my God.
	You need drugs.
	Go ahead, buddy.
	If you're like a canner in Alaska, you probably don't need a heroin.
	I hope you don't know why for that call.
	Drugs are a necessary hilarious.
	This has turned on me.
	I'm going to give that a bit.
	I got all for me.
	I don't want to let this happen.
	I love that turn.
	How do you think it wasn't happening?
	How did you think it wasn't going to turn on?
	You've been mean to every single guy.
	Everyone.
	I thought it was Kyle.
	No, you weren't.
	You are kind of curious.
	You are connected.
	I thought there was all these good things.
	I'm a big old bully.
	Yeah, that's a tough realization.
	Get your hand on it by the war.
	It's a tough realization.
	No, it is.
	Yes, it is.
	Keep going.
	Keep going.
	You guys are.
	No, I got pissed.
	All right.
	We'll see you later, buddy.
	All right, guys.
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Healthy Lung Alternative 00:05:06
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	And we're back.
	Okay, so listen, Shane has his sunglasses on, which makes me feel that all the work we did to get to our true inner selves is gone.
	We got close.
	I feel like you're blocking off now.
	Don't hear about Akash.
	He's been quiet.
	What do you want to know?
	We got drunk and he's...
	What do you want to know?
	I'm taking it all in, dude.
	Well, I don't think he approves of it.
	Well, now you're thinking about you.
	What do you want to know about Akash?
	Oh, no, no.
	This is how you'd be interested in other people.
	Yeah.
	We're going to teach you how to be interested in others.
	I want to hear about Akash.
	What do you want to hear?
	How he thinks about me?
	All right, that was funny.
	All right, funny.
	Funny guy.
	Funny guy.
	But, okay, but listen, we did all this work to like reduce our, you know, our boundaries.
	And I feel like now you put the radiation on.
	I thought we had the boundaries were low when we got here.
	I was excited.
	No, but we got made progress.
	We had so much fun.
	But then we got into a nice little drunken stupor.
	And that was really good.
	That's the best.
	But now your glasses are.
	I don't like the glasses.
	Glasses.
	He makes me feel uncomfortable.
	It makes me feel uncomfortable.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Because I can't see your eyes.
	I like it.
	I mean that.
	Okay.
	Closer.
	Yeah, I feel like I can't connect now.
	I mean, you can do that.
	We can't.
	If I hear you start making a point.
	That way he can see you, but you can still have the shade.
	Now I look insane.
	No, no, you can't.
	Let me see this.
	Let me see this.
	No, that's fine.
	That's fine.
	Because now you still bear the responsibility.
	This is what happens.
	I mean, you look special.
	Stop it.
	Shane, stop it.
	Shane.
	Stop it.
	No, I can't wear cool stuff.
	Dude, you look sick with those.
	All right, Tom Cruise.
	Akash, what's going on in your life, brother?
	What a horrible question.
	What's going on in your life?
	I want to hear what's going on.
	That was so generic.
	No, we're going to teach him how to be a person.
	What are you genuinely interested in, Akash?
	And what is your genuine curiosity?
	Okay.
	I asked him briefly.
	I was like, how's the road going?
	What's going on with the new material?
	The road is going great.
	Special just filmed.
	We almost used the same intro.
	Yeah, what is that?
	What was that?
	I was going to use Abin Houston.
	It made sense for you.
	So there was a song called Tops Drops.
	It's like an H-Town anthem.
	And I was thinking about using it.
	I decided last second to go with something else that makes an OT shouts.
	And then I heard his special and he had Topsy Drops.
	Oh, you know.
	Which made no sense that you had it because you filmed it in DC and it's Trump Anthem.
	But I was excited to hear it.
	Tops Drops.
	One of those songs that it's fun, but it's not actually like cool.
	You know what I mean?
	Well, it's a fun.
	No, I think it's cool, obviously, but I'm saying it's like, it's a fun rap song.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's tough to pick an intro song for a special without taking yourself too seriously.
	Yeah.
	Something like that, I think, works.
	Like 3-6 mafia.
	Slavomana.
	Slavomana would be hilarious.
	Yeah.
	I hate the sunglasses.
	I just can't see.
	We might as well be on Zoom.
	Keep them on.
	Keep them.
	I'm keeping them on, dude.
	If I take them off now, he wins.
	Okay.
	Oh, fuck.
	That's right.
	It's a competition thing.
	It's not that.
	I really genuinely just feel like it's not.
	It's a competition thing.
	You're the one trying to take my glasses off me.
	Can we reframe it?
	Can we reframe it?
	No, no, no, no.
	You know what I mean?
	It's not about you for a second.
	Okay.
	Anyway, so more quick.
	That was good.
	Some more questions.
	Some more questions about Oscar.
	It was good.
	It was good.
	No, no, the under the skin, no, but it was a good idea.
	No way, no way, no way.
	I admit it.
	If it's good, it's good.
	The epiphany was great.
	That was like a deflection, so you don't have to ask Arcash more questions you don't care about.
	But come on, I do care.
	You asked him because you're like, what about your song?
	I'll tell you about mine.
	He said, why did you pick that?
	I answered.
	Oh, you're so good.
	But this is how you have an interest in people.
	But yeah, the road's going good for you.
	Damn.
	I'm going to jump back in.
	I was thinking about something else.
	Okay.
	The worst is when someone calls you sensitive.
	Oh, because you can't.
	But then you react sensitively.
	You got it.
	You got to get it.
	And it hurts your feelings because you're so sensitive.
	Yeah.
	He's going to go, no, I'm not.
	Yes, I am.
	Yes, I am sensitive.
	I am sensitive.
	Yeah.
	Like, I was sensitive when I thought they were laughing at me.
	And you pointed that out.
	I was sensitive.
CIA JFK Connection 00:15:04
	I never saw that.
	I was like, oh, man, I thought we were having a serious moment.
	He was giving a speech.
	He's like, what are you guys laughing?
	Yeah, I thought I was being serious.
	I thought we were all in this together.
	Do you think that ever happened during like a war speech?
	Alexander?
	We're going in.
	Taking course.
	Absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	And someone just goes, ha!
	Gay!
	One of those Irish guys.
	Bothered him because he was gay, probably.
	Claude Corby's not gay.
	Not all preacher gay, especially back then.
	No, I'm saying Alex Alexander.
	Alexander, gay.
	Might be Christian.
	Maybe Christian Obli.
	Not gay.
	There's not one reference of him being gay.
	Oh, now you're true.
	That's an Oliver Stone movie.
	Now you fucking trust history.
	Now you trust history.
	The whole Oliver Stone movie was him fucking dudes.
	And then I looked it up.
	I was like, man, yeah.
	I mean, that was like the.
	Do you think Oliver Stone knows history?
	Because I'm curious to know your thoughts on JFK and the assassination.
	I love Oliver Stone on JFK.
	What did he say on JFK?
	He made the movie that basically like really popularized the conspiracy theory.
	The Coffin one?
	Yeah.
	Up and to the right.
	Yeah.
	Wait, but what's the movie?
	That movie heavily implies that there was a conspiracy theory.
	It wasn't just like Riosa.
	Exactly.
	Reverse.
	Yeah.
	It was like a much more underground thing before then.
	What's the idea that the guy up there, what Lee RV Oswald didn't shoot him from the window?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Whoever else had.
	There was also some other people taking shots.
	So he did fire, but other people also fired.
	The shots hit him in the front, according to a documentary I watched.
	But Lee shot, right?
	While falling asleep.
	Yeah.
	Lee shot, right?
	So at that point, what does it matter?
	I think the CIA killed JF.
	But there was another guy trying to get him.
	Because he didn't want.
	No, I don't think Lee Harvey Oswald was a Patsy.
	Of course he's a Patsy.
	He was a CIA boy himself.
	They got a hold of him early.
	Do you subscribe that Manson was a CIA boy?
	I mean, he was MK Ultra.
	That's you believe that 100%.
	I think that's true.
	And his dad was CIA.
	It was an LSD program CIA was doing.
	They were just like, hey, let's see what happens if we can, can we use LSD to have mind control over people?
	And it ended up resulting in a lot of people losing their fucking minds and being like violent psychos.
	Like Charles Manson, Whitey Bulger was one.
	Did they fucking in Alcatraz?
	Wow, really?
	Wow.
	Now, I knew he was an informant, but I didn't know that he was MK Ultra.
	He was MK Ultra.
	Is that, I mean, that's a pretty convenient line of thinking if you're like a mob guy that wants to believe that Whitey's real.
	Oh, he wouldn't have snitched, but the MK Ultra.
	No, I don't.
	I think they all snitch.
	I think every single mob guy snitches.
	Isn't that true?
	Yeah, they're all little rats.
	I mean, if you get into the job of committing crimes for money, I don't think you have the most moral backbone.
	And then when you're looking at 25 years.
	Yeah, you go, ah, but that was, that started in like the 70s, right?
	The mafia started in the U.S. in like the 20s.
	And then for 50 years, they couldn't crack it because nobody would roll over.
	No, I mean, they would just pay whoever was in charge.
	It was a lot easier back then, I think.
	What do you mean, they?
	They would pay.
	You could buy people off, I think, a lot easier in the 20s.
	You mean the government or the prosecutor?
	Yeah.
	Okay, so then who ends up killing JFK?
	Have you heard Woody Harrelson's dad?
	Oh, that one's crazy.
	Yeah, what is that?
	This is crazy.
	I didn't really know the full details, but like now there's pictures of Woody Harrelson and RFK like hanging out together.
	And it's like, oh, his dad killed his uncle.
	It's like, what is it?
	Because Woody Harrelson's dad worked for the CIA.
	Yeah.
	And they're saying that it was Woody Harrelson's dad that kills JFK or is involved in the plot or actually pulls it out.
	But the thing is, so many people out there, we only heard one shot.
	No, that's not true.
	There's literally interviews with people being like, I heard a shot from right there.
	Like, literally.
	But they're saying they heard one.
	No, no, no.
	There were multiple shots.
	Oh, I hear everyone saying JFK shot.
	Some people said shit.
	I heard it from here.
	He got shot multiple times.
	He got one in the neck, one in the head.
	One went through him and bounced around the car.
	Okay.
	The guy was pinpoint accuracy.
	One of them missed the car entirely and hit the curb.
	But wouldn't that be like a good, like it would sound like machine guns.
	One shot coming from the ship.
	I think it's three.
	Also, if it's CIA, why would one guy be not accurate?
	Wouldn't they be like, hey, let's get our worst marksman to kill the president?
	I think if three guys are shooting, one missed.
	Oh, you have, whoa, I didn't know three guys.
	I guess there was multiple shooters.
	So you have two assassins that are CIA, and then you have one Patsy.
	And the Patsy, you blame it on.
	And then these guys get the job done.
	The only reason you have those two guys there is if you don't believe in this guy's ability to shoot them.
	Because if you believe that he can shoot him, why do you even have that?
	I guess my thing is like, if you have convinced Lee Harvey Oswald to shoot and he is going to shoot and he pulls the trigger and a bullet comes out, whether or not he's the one that kills them or somebody else.
	I think you just want to make sure you get it done.
	Because if you miss, this is your one shot.
	So then the second and third shot hit JFK.
	Okay.
	We've all heard.
	But then have we heard gunshots before?
	Yeah.
	You hear where it comes from.
	So if there's one coming from here, one coming from there, one coming from there.
	It's like, but you would know there's a lot of people said that though.
	Now you're saying this, and that's actually what happened.
	And so there are people.
	And there are literally interviews with people that were like, we heard gunshots from right there.
	It's called the magic bullet, right?
	That's all.
	Well, the magic bullets.
	No, the magic.
	No, no.
	The magic bullets how the Warren Commission explained how it went through his back and bounced around and hit Senator Connolly or Governor.
	They basically have to make two bullets out of one bullet.
	And the bullet was totally unscathed.
	It was a totally somehow bounced off bones and didn't.
	There's people saying that they've heard gunshots from different places.
	Look, some Fugues ran to the grassy knoll to try to find the shooter immediately.
	And nobody started running towards it.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	So apparently Woody Harrelson's dad was a contract killer.
	I figured it out.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's it.
	He was the contract killer.
	He got convicted of killing John H. Wood, was a judge.
	And then basically, while they were trying to arrest him, he told him he was like in a standoff.
	He was like, yo, I killed Kennedy.
	And they kind of fueled the rumor.
	And then they kind of backed off of it.
	And he only got convicted of killing the one dude.
	Was he Mafia?
	Yeah, apparently.
	He was like an organized crime figure.
	Harrelson is what, like Norwegian or something?
	Yeah, but they probably could have outsourced just the contract killing.
	You're not in the mafia.
	You can find one or two.
	You're not Italian, but we can outsource killing him.
	Yeah, but back in the day, mafia is like, you got to be Sicilian.
	This is 19, what, 60-something?
	70-something?
	What city?
	Where was he living?
	Yeah.
	Where was he doing all this?
	Love Lady Texas.
	Yeah, but you could do business with the mafia without being mafia.
	Who was the Jewish mobster that was fucking Schultz?
	No, that was Meyer Lansky.
	Myers Lansky.
	He worked with the mafia very closely, but they were never letting him be mafia.
	Good with numbers.
	To be made men, you got to be Italian.
	But that is like the mafia.
	They started splitting it where they were like, oh, you can be half.
	You have to be your father's side Italian.
	But no, initially, not even Italian, Sicilian specifically.
	Yeah.
	You couldn't be any Italian.
	They kind of eased up on that.
	But you could still do work for them without being in the mafia.
	That's what I think they would do with it.
	I do the same thing with my hands every time I get mic'd.
	Just a cat.
	Just a cat.
	Just pull it.
	Yeah, you could do whatever you want with it.
	Nice.
	Yeah, JFK got killed by the CIA, bro.
	100 people.
	You think we went to the moon?
	Be honest.
	I do.
	That time?
	Why CIA?
	Why CIA?
	Yeah.
	Because Kennedy, after the Bay of Pigs, was going to disband the CIA, and then he didn't want to go to Vietnam.
	A lot of people were going to make a lot of money.
	And he literally said, I'm going to disband the CIA.
	But couldn't they just like, hey, next election, he's out.
	That's that's one argument.
	But then he got his head blown off on a parade.
	Theoretically, you send a message to anybody else who might want to get rid of the CIA.
	You're not going to get it.
	Ask yourself this.
	It's like, do you think the course of America is decided every four years?
	Or do you think that there's another force out there that's making the decisions that's going to protect American interests for the next hundred years?
	And if the CIA is the decision maker there, then they're going to make sure that nothing gets in their way.
	Now, is the CIA working for these like billion-dollar corporations as well?
	Possibly.
	Okay, so then if they're willing to go to those levels of taking out a president, then are they just top dog?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Without a doubt.
	Oh, so CIA is they.
	Yeah, the intelligence.
	Yeah.
	CIA, I think they is CIA.
	Nancy Pelosi.
	Why do you put Nancy in?
	Legacy politicians.
	You put Nancy and they.
	McConnell?
	Yeah.
	Mitch was probably part of that.
	Now they're getting them out of there.
	The legacy politicians, the ones that don't have the term limits.
	I also think it's this like secret cabal that like gets together.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.
	That word.
	It's not that word.
	But I don't think it's like they gather at a table.
	No, it's they all have the same interest.
	Here's what we're doing.
	I think it's just like this is a machine.
	They're just a part of it.
	It's not like that's the thing that with conspiracy theories, it gets confused that I do it myself where I'm like, they didn't like sit down and like, here's, I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Does that make sense?
	What I'm saying?
	But there's always as interconnected as you think.
	But they all have the same interest.
	Even when people sit at a table, there's always a top.
	So who's the top?
	The top depends on what decision needs to be made.
	For example, let's say there's back then it was Dulles.
	Wait, the Dulles.
	Like the Dulles Agreement?
	Yeah, Dulles Airport.
	That guy.
	He was the head of the CIA.
	The Dulles Brothers were like some of the worst bros of all time.
	And now who would you say is top?
	I have no idea.
	Well, who's the head of CIA?
	The fact that you don't even know we don't even know is quite interesting to me.
	Hopefully Trump comes back and saves us.
	But there's the great argument, right?
	Where it's like anybody the CIA hated, you could make the argument might be doing the quote-unquote right thing.
	So if the CIA takes out JFK, it's like, well, what was he trying to do?
	Take out the Shavu Ron.
	Take out Jaime Raldos in Ecuador.
	Take out Omar Torillos.
	Oh, keep going.
	Come on, bro.
	No, keep going.
	You form a little fruit company and take out all the people.
	That was what Dulles did.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Mark Dulles was a lawyer.
	And on behalf of corporate interests, those are all those banana republics, all that fruit company.
	So you have a fruit company in Costa Rica.
	Yeah.
	And you need to make sure that you're going to be able to do that.
	And all of a sudden, that country goes, hey, these are the best.
	We want our bananas.
	We're not going to, you guys don't own these resources.
	This is our country's resource.
	Then all of a sudden, the CIA sends the boys down there and lets you know that it's not your resources.
	And they go, hey, there's an election coming up.
	Here's the new guy.
	He's going to win.
	And if your guy wins, we're going to make sure that we're going to support some rebels that are going to execute him.
	Yeah.
	We buy up the printing press, buy up the news, push some story.
	Which is, you know, how we're doing this.
	Yes.
	If we were in Costa Rica, we wouldn't be doing this.
	We'd be out fucking picking bananas for the Dulles brothers.
	So the same thing probably happens with oil.
	Same thing happens with precious minerals.
	You know what I mean?
	Like.
	Yeah, obviously.
	We went to Afghanistan and Iraq.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But they had weapons of son of a bitch.
	They didn't.
	Damn it.
	Damn.
	We got punk, dude.
	Where's Ashton?
	We thought there was WMDs the whole time.
	Damn it.
	So that's the question.
	Who's in charge?
	Maybe.
	But then, so here's the real question is, do you want someone to be in charge?
	I don't even think anyone's in charge.
	I think it's just a.
	Do you want somebody to plot the course of America?
	I think it's easy to like, we do this thing where we sit here and we like, we bitch and complain and we go, these are the bad guys and they're awful and there's these conspiracies and this, that, the other.
	But at the same time, we like love most of the shit that we get to indulge in because of all that.
	So not directly because of it, but partially because of it.
	Exactly.
	So it's like, there's part of me, if I'm them, I go, okay, y'all want to run it?
	Do you want to run it every four years?
	Yeah.
	Like, do you want every four years a new guy to come in and make all the new decisions?
	Or do you want someone else to plot the course of America?
	I don't know.
	I think we're drinking.
	Hell yeah.
	For the record, none of us think we're right.
	That's a problem.
	You guys are scared.
	Yeah, you have a couple drinks and everybody that comes.
	We didn't say we're right.
	We just said, what do we want?
	We're having fun.
	We're having fun.
	No, I want Biden to make decisions.
	I never see you guys pull back.
	I want Biden to make it.
	I like Biden making some decisions.
	This is the thing about conspiracy theories, though.
	Like you said, anybody who gets killed, you could be like, oh, the CI didn't like them.
	Yes.
	Yeah, it's very convenient.
	That is.
	That is the hard part.
	But yeah, Google, see who Hinkley had dinner with before he shot Red.
	Here's the one thing, though, is you keep treating Google like it's an absolute fact.
	Yeah, boo.
	No, I know, but there's interesting things where you're like, wait, that retarded guy, Hinkley, had dinner with like the Bush.
	Don't even say that.
	Don't this just insane.
	Hold on.
	Don't do this Hinkley connection because you know where Hinkley connects the Obamas and the Bushes.
	Where?
	Where?
	You don't know this?
	Oh, Tripoli told me this.
	Tripoli's on top of it.
	Oh, Tripoli is fucking on it, dude.
	If I'm the CIA, I'm hiring him immediately on some like catch me if you can't shit.
	Like you, you figured out how all our shit works.
	So now you have to work for us.
	But Hinkley is the connection from Bush to Obama.
	Apparently, Bush and Obama are relatives or something, distant relatives.
	What?
	Yeah, I've been trying to get this guy on my pod for so long.
	Hinkley, I think I've been emailing him.
	Not safe.
	He's hit me back a couple times.
	He's a musician now.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's a musician.
	Hinkley.
	You can get Hinkley.
	You should have a live band.
	The Reagan guy.
	Yeah.
	He shot Reagan.
	He got out a year and a half ago.
	And I've been emailing him.
	Look at his connectivity between Obama.
	Because listen, listen, listen.
	If Hinkley hits Reagan and actually kills him, who becomes president?
	What?
	Bush.
	Bush.
	HW.
	Now look at the CIA.
	Who was the what?
	Head of the CIA.
	So the head of the CIA, Bush, would have become president if Hinkley did the thing he was supposed to do.
	He doesn't.
	Look at his connection to Obama.
	I mean, this is this.
	Don't have a Schultz epiphany.
	This is how you drink beer.
	There we go.
	You get a couple beers.
	You go, yo, let me tell you something about Hinkley.
	Yo, shout out to Sam Tripoli, bro.
	Nah, that's amazing.
Prize Picks Defense 00:08:01
	It's ridiculous.
	All right.
	So we got Jim Barack Obama and Hinkley.
	Yeah, I mean, an awesome one.
	Let's go.
	Shout out to Famous Kin.
	So you got Samuel Hinkley.
	Wait, Barack Obama and Hinkley are related.
	Keep going.
	All right.
	So you just kind of take it all the way down.
	Fucking female side.
	Keep on going.
	Keep on going.
	Almost there.
	Any second now.
	Boom.
	The smoking gun right in front of your eyes.
	John Hinkley Jr., Barack Obama.
	But how is it?
	Sam Dunham.
	But there, there.
	No connection.
	But that has nothing to do with it.
	Yeah, look how many generations far back that your ninth cousin's twice removed.
	Are you trying to say that Sam Triple lie to me?
	Yeah, but that even if that's true, that's pointless.
	That doesn't matter.
	I don't know my five cousins.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that doesn't matter.
	I wouldn't.
	Yeah, I would Ralph Waldo Emerson.
	Damn.
	Yeah, they got a lot of people.
	Wild name, dude.
	My name is Babe Ruth Gillis.
	Ralph Waldo Emerson, Dunham.
	Yeah, but if you go back far enough, dude, it's all coming together.
	I feel like I have to call Triple right now and have a lot of people.
	I mean, yeah, this is so disappointing.
	I mean, well, this is crap, Bill.
	Bob is from Africa before this.
	Speaking of, this is not a conspiracy.
	Obama's alleged brother is going wild.
	You see that guy?
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Is that his real brother?
	It's always the siblings, bro.
	Jealous.
	Were you about to call him black sheep?
	Because that's a black sheep.
	That is a black as hell sheet, bro.
	Okay, listen, Akash.
	I would really appreciate it if you would just magically appear in Shane's seat.
	Oh, oh, that was sick.
	I just did that, dude.
	I can read what you need.
	How the hell did you?
	You read it, but you also, I also said it.
	Yeah, but I was there before.
	That's a good point.
	That's a good point.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Now, I don't even want to talk about what happened with the Giants.
	Oh, that was the best.
	Dude, I'd be randomly right.
	I'd be randomly right about things.
	Listen, when you're so right, eventually it's not random.
	Oh, shit.
	I'm just trying to say, when you're so right, I appreciate that.
	Eventually, it's not random.
	I appreciate that.
	Because you kind of did call it.
	Yeah.
	And I'm wondering, because now we have to go into next week, and I'm wondering if we should just let you bestow some wisdom on what we got to do.
	Because listen, all I know is me personally outside of fucking Aaron Rodgers.
	That was so sad, yo.
	Yeah, it was sad.
	Multiple reasons.
	Obviously, you want to.
	I picked him.
	He was one of my prize picks more than I remember literally going on to prize picks and going, This is the, what is it, 225 yards or something like he was going to throw?
	And I was like, this is the easiest.
	Easiest money.
	This is the easiest more that we've ever put down.
	And I was like, guaranteed more.
	We picked a couple other ones.
	Obviously, you just go on more or less prize picks.
	Shout out to prize picks.
	Shout out to prize picks because it's wild fun.
	Yeah.
	That's what it is.
	They've really gamified it.
	It makes you feel like an expert.
	Yes.
	Like when I'm going through the more or lesses, I'm just like, yeah, this is light work.
	Kind of a true-false test.
	I almost wanted to hit prize picks and just be like, I'm about to bankrupt you.
	So let's just make sure that everything that we talk about in terms of like your guys' investment in us comes in.
	And maybe we should even hold that.
	What is it called when you hold something with like a lawyer?
	Escrow.
	We should hold that in escrow.
	Because I'm going to bankrupt you outside of.
	And they gave you a free one.
	They said Dak Prescott more or less than half a yard.
	And you knew that that was like.
	So if he gets one yard, it's you got it.
	That's a free square for everybody.
	And you only got to do two.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	So we did okay this last week.
	We did okay this last week.
	Okay.
	So prize picks this week.
	What are we looking at?
	One or two.
	Okay, talk to me.
	I'm still the two Akash locks.
	Oh, fuck.
	The October.
	That made me feel pressure, but I feel confident in this.
	Tua, Tag of Iloa.
	He's a quarterback of the Dolphins.
	Of course.
	He had 400 plus yards last week.
	So what are we going for this week?
	They're saying 264.5 against New England.
	How is New England's defense?
	I mean, it's Bill Belichick.
	So they're always going to be pretty good.
	But I just think Tua's got so much speed at receiver with Tyreek Hill, who's going to be a monster this year.
	He thinks he's going to get 2,000 yards.
	I think he has a real shot at it.
	And then if you double him, they got this other guy, Jalen Waddle, speed freak.
	They just got so much speed.
	I think you got to pick Tua.
	And then this one, maybe we're going more on the Tua.
	More on Tua for sure.
	And then on this one, I might just be Dallas Cowboys homer again, but they're saying Dak Prescott.
	Well, yeah, well, they say the other thing: 236.5 yards for Dak is what they're predicting.
	More or less.
	Against?
	Against the Jets.
	I know the Jets' defense is good, but I think they lowered the stat line because Dak barely had to play last week.
	He only had like 170 yards last week because he didn't have to because it was 26-0.
	So you really think Dak is going to put it up against the Jets?
	So I think Dak can get more than 236 against the Jets.
	I'm personally, and I know that there's no reason that I should do this because Akash locks are always Akash locks.
	I'm going for the less.
	Now they got a good defense.
	This is a little riskier.
	And I think that they're feeling themselves.
	They're like, our guy went down.
	Our guy went down after the fourth play of the game.
	Yeah.
	The guy who is going to be the golden boy of our franchise, even though he's in the twilight of his career, he is our confidence.
	He is our, I mean, he is our Tesseract, right?
	This is where we're getting everything from.
	This is why we believe in ourselves.
	And then he went down and they still won.
	They still won.
	Because they're a good fucking squad.
	So I'm going to go less on Dak, even though there's no reason I should, because obviously Callie showed the fuck up.
	I'm going to go less.
	You go more.
	I'll go more.
	Those are the two Akash.
	That's the Akash lock for you.
	I'm going to go.
	Obviously, you know, Akash knows way more about football.
	I'm going to go less on that one.
	This is the beauty of prize picks.
	You don't got to be an expert.
	Bro, that's the thing.
	This thing is, this thing is dangerously fun.
	What else we got?
	Can we add a little something else though?
	You want to go three.
	I mean, there's part of me.
	Because you increase the odds crazy if you go three.
	It comes up five.
	How's Philadelphia's defense?
	Philadelphia's defense is good and deep.
	So you wouldn't think that Kirk Cousins could go more than 262.
	I don't have very much faith in Kirk Cousins as a quarterback, especially against good teams.
	Hold on.
	Trevor Lawrence, they have him 259.5 against Kansas City.
	Now, Kansas City is coming off a loss, but I feel like.
	I think that's very doable.
	I think it's very doable.
	Really?
	Going on there?
	All right, fine.
	So Trevor Lawrence is going for over 259.5.
	That's not crazy.
	The more day's NFL.
	Put the more on it.
	Put the more on it.
	Listen, all first-time users that deposit that deposit with prize picks, you're going to get an instant 100% deposit match up to $100.
	That means you put $100 in.
	They give in $100 as well.
	Okay.
	Very, very simple.
	If you deposit $50, prize pick gives you $50, it's up to $100.
	How does it work?
	You pick two to six players, and if they will go more or less than their prize picks projection, you can win up to 25 times the money on any entry.
	They're going to show you the lines, they're going to show you everything.
	The app is incredibly easy.
	Go use it.
	Listen, we already told you what we're going to go do.
	You go do it.
	It's not just football.
	They got, obviously, the NFL.
	We got the NBA, the MLB, the NHL, the PJA, college football, men's college basketball, women's college basketball, soccer, WWA, esports, NASCAR, tennis, the whole thing, and more.
	Go get it.
	They even got cricket.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Anyway.
	So, Prize Picks has a very generous promotion schedule, including weekly promotions like Taco Thursday and Flex Friday.
	Go after it.
	At Prize Picks, you aren't competing against other people.
	It's just you versus the projections available.
	You're going against the banker.
	What's that game?
	Where you got dealer, no deal?
	I know every person watching right now believes they can beat the game dealer, no deal.
	You've got it.
	Prize pick entries can be made in 60 seconds or less.
	It's that easy.
	Prize picks is safe and it offers a fast withdrawal.
	You go out there, you get that money, and you let them know.
	So you go to prize picks.com.
	You get a 100% deposit match up to $100 with the promo code Schultz, S-C-H-U-L-Z.
	Go use it.
	Can we go back to that moment where Shane was there and you're in the other seat?
Denzel vs Leo Acting 00:08:02
	Is that cool?
	Yeah, I'll go.
	Okay, bet.
	This is it.
	Tom Cruise.
	No, I just did this on Rogies.
	Just had this exact same battle.
	You took our discussion from Westchester, Pennsylvania.
	I don't want to hurt you.
	No, hold on.
	I've had this argument.
	You took our discussion from Westchester, Pennsylvania.
	With Chris O'Connor for years.
	Chris O'Connor puts Tom Cruise number one.
	Can you have this fight with so many people?
	Can you just stop for a second?
	You took our spirit of discussion.
	You just snatched my bed post, baby.
	This was nothing.
	You just stop for one moment.
	You took our spirited discussion from Westchester, Pennsylvania, and you just took that over to Rogan.
	You're asking.
	No, no, no.
	I've had that conversation many times.
	Where did Rogan land on this?
	Tom is the greatest?
	No.
	Ari was drunkenly, adamantly defending Tom Cruise.
	Which is fair because that's the whole point of the argument: you can defend Tom's got some hits.
	Tom's longevity is crazy.
	But if you compare him to, like, for me, like Hanks, I'll take Hanks over Cruz.
	Yeah, our conversation was Hanks.
	I'll take DiCaprio over Cruz.
	DiCaprio.
	Daniel Day Lewis.
	My God.
	No, not Daniel Deville.
	I'll take care of David.
	Not Daniel Day Lewis.
	Christian Bales.
	Christian Bale.
	You would not take Daniel Day-Lewis over Cruz.
	There's no way in hell you would.
	That's crazy talk.
	Name it.
	When's the last big movie?
	Name it.
	Name if you had to eliminate one of them from history.
	Better at acting?
	No, eliminate their work from history.
	Again, this is where they are.
	Dan Day Lewis' last great movie was 2007.
	Lincoln.
	There will be blood.
	Oh, Lincoln.
	There will be blood.
	Lincoln was phenomenal.
	Can you imagine if Tom Cruise played Lincoln?
	He would have done it.
	Can you imagine how bad that would be?
	Just as short as Lincoln.
	No, just eliminate their work.
	You could do without Daniel Day-Lewis.
	You cannot do without Tom Cruise.
	That's a fact.
	You're saying I couldn't do without the Mission Impossible.
	Low-key.
	I don't think you could do without.
	I haven't watched one of them since the first one.
	Top Gun.
	I don't think you could do that.
	Top Gun.
	I don't think you could do without.
	Days of Thunder.
	It asserts American dominance in Hollywood.
	Come on, it does.
	It does.
	It asserts dominance.
	God damn it.
	I agree.
	Top gun rules.
	God damn it.
	Top gun rules.
	You had a whole bathroom break to figure out that sentence.
	Nah, I came back.
	I just came back.
	Jerry McGuire.
	Yo, Sylvester Salon's a bad motherfucker.
	That's a Jewish agent classic.
	Obviously, you love that movie.
	Yeah, I think it's Tom Ross.
	Last Samurai Rules.
	He's got a lot.
	Obviously, he's one of the greatest.
	I give you.
	I don't remember who.
	Jack Nicholson.
	Jack Nicholson, possibly.
	You name someone else after Hank Teller.
	I could do without Jack.
	I know that's crazy.
	I should do without Jack.
	I love Christian.
	Love Christian.
	Nah, but you could do without Christian Bale.
	Talk about the Dark Knight Rises.
	You can't do without Batman.
	Christian Bale's a bad motherfucker.
	You can't do that.
	The big short, I just watch.
	He's fantastic.
	He loved Top Gun, the new one.
	Love it.
	The fighter.
	I thought the new one.
	The fighter phenomenon.
	Let's talk about it.
	Let's talk about it.
	I couldn't believe how dumb that fucking was.
	It was fun, but it was cheesy as fuck.
	Yeah.
	Talk to me.
	It was cool.
	It was cool.
	Don't do.
	Don't fucking don't, don't do it.
	Don't dare.
	Don't do their movie.
	I want to put the nice parts in.
	Tell me it's cool looking at planes.
	I liked watching kids.
	Sitting there going, damn, that's a cool fucking plane.
	Yeah.
	And then when they crashed and found each other, which is impossible.
	Not impossible.
	It happens all the time.
	If Maverick died at the end, it would have been fucking all the time.
	If Maverick died at the end, it would have been a fucking Maverick die as the greatest pilot that's ever.
	He's not the greatest.
	He got shot down by some fucking Russian bullshit.
	Yeah, that's true.
	He's American.
	Saving his boy.
	Not because he wanted to get saving his boy.
	I might be.
	He wasn't in the fifth generation fighter.
	He wasn't a fifth generation.
	Guys, come on.
	There were some real king chongs in those planes, and they were full of also.
	They didn't even like show you who the bad guy is.
	That's the only great fighter.
	But that is a capitalism issue.
	That's a capitalism issue.
	He was great in the movie.
	There's no denying.
	Of course, he was.
	Now you're more back.
	Great at being top.
	Listen, here's the reality.
	The movie was Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise are in the same league to me.
	I'll say that.
	Mel Gibson is one of the greatest ever.
	I agree.
	If he doesn't have that one moment where he spoke freely, then he probably is lucky.
	I'm a Scottish.
	The real great part.
	I watched my career.
	You're never going to take my career.
	DiCaprio over Tom Cruise.
	I agree.
	For sure.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	I'll give you to Cat.
	I'll give you DiCaprio.
	Damn.
	Denzel's my number one.
	Really?
	Damn.
	That's.
	Dude.
	Denzel's my number one.
	Give me his.
	Why'd you look at our hard-ass laugh?
	Obviously.
	Why'd you love him?
	He's a hard-ass laugh.
	Denzel's my number one.
	Obviously.
	These are my number one.
	Three movies.
	Equalizer one, two, three.
	No, no, no.
	In all seriousness, Denzel for me is the only guy that Denzel is Pacino to me.
	Oh, but are you one of those that's like Pacino plays the same role every time?
	No, no, they all play the same role.
	Stop, stop for one second.
	Like Denzel here, if you watch international players.
	You're taking a hacky director take right now.
	If you watch Training Day again, you're going to go, God damn, that guy spoke gibberish that entire movie.
	I watched gibberish.
	This is a director that has been popularized on the internet.
	There's no.
	Go find.
	You can actually look this up.
	There's a director that goes, Pacino, I wouldn't even look at him, but blah, blah, blah.
	Oh, I don't think I'm a director or smart about this stuff, but I can tell when someone's making up lines.
	Training.
	Book of Eli?
	I love Book of Eli.
	Fantastic.
	I can't believe that you, as a Catholic, would show respect to Denzel, who makes sure he puts it.
	What do you mean show respect to him?
	Every single movie, war historian, Glory.
	I love Denzel.
	Glory?
	Glory was incredible.
	John Q. John Q. Why are you guys arguing like I don't think Denzel?
	I named Denzel.
	I was the one who said Denzel's better than Tom Cruise in this argument.
	It's your glasses.
	I laughed at you for saying Denzel was number one.
	I was blaming one of you for liking Black Gibbs.
	That was the joke.
	I went, of course, that's obviously your number one.
	That was the joke.
	Denzel is a better actor than Leo, and that's not questionable.
	Leo takes better roles, though.
	It's not questionable.
	Leo's roles are so fucking great.
	I don't question that.
	No.
	Oh, man.
	That's not questionable.
	Leo's Gilbert Grapes, bro.
	That's just fire.
	I'm like, I know why.
	I Google.
	I question your whole distance or why.
	Nah, bro.
	Denzel over Leo.
	No, I'm just saying it's questionable.
	Give it along.
	Give me your Leo take that beats Denzel in Philadelphia.
	That's fair.
	Give me your Leo take that beats Denzel and Glory.
	Give me your Leo take that beats Denzel and Malcolm X.
	I liked Leo and Django.
	Oh, God.
	See, now I'm talking about one.
	You got one.
	You got one that's really good.
	I like that scene.
	I like Leo.
	Let's do the Django scene.
	I like Christoph Woltz better than I like Tom Cruise as an actor.
	Great actor.
	Christophe is a monster.
	But now we're talking about Denzel.
	Yeah, you're trying to pitch it.
	I mean, that's how this entire thing started.
	Please rewind.
	Listen, I thought Denzel was better than Tom Cruise.
	I told you about Denzel's my number one.
	So we're talking about Denzel's my number one.
	You're triggered right now, and I apologize.
	Let's just talk about number one.
	Let's just talk about number one.
	Denzel number one.
	No.
	Okay, who's number one?
	Go, number one.
	What are we talking?
	Better acting acting or better.
	The sunglasses break everything.
	Yeah.
	It just breaks everything.
	I'm going to wear sunglasses after.
	No, it's just furious if you're not.
	Leo, I don't know who's.
	I think Leo might be better.
	Skill level or resume.
	Give me one movie that beats the four movies we just said.
	Catch me if you can.
	Fantastic.
	Better than Malcolm X, better than Philadelphia.
	Better than Malcolm X. Better than Glory.
	Wolf of Wall Street.
	I never saw Glory.
	Wolf of Wall Street.
	He was Wall Street.
	Better than John Q. Better than Q. Better than Male Fire.
	Mayo Fire.
	Yes.
	Mayo Fire is Lee.
	I think Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is better than John Q.
Rocky Mountains Snow 00:03:56
	Oh, my God.
	We can't even talk anymore.
	I mean, I guess the range of movies Leo takes is also crazy.
	You like the same director.
	I don't even think that's that like skill.
	They have no black people in them.
	There's not one black character in Hollywood.
	Now, Hollywood movie.
	Tarantino historically never cast black people in his beds.
	I think De Niro is better than Tom Cruise.
	Listen, with all due respect to De Niro, no.
	Why?
	Not even close.
	Why?
	Because he does the same character and everything.
	Okay.
	If you're making the Pacino argument, you're not going to bestow that on DeNilo.
	No, no, no.
	The Pacino argument is not going to be a good thing.
	No, De Niro did Taxi Driver and he did Deer Hunter.
	You're right, right there.
	I just watched.
	Yo, this is funny.
	I watched Deer Hunter last night.
	You know what sucks about Deer Hunter?
	It's supposed to be in Western PA all of a sudden, for no reason, when they go deer hunting, they're in the Rocky Mountains.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, the world has collapsed, guys.
	That's what we ever gonna do.
	I was watching it last night.
	I was like.
	Oh, that hurt.
	I heard about it.
	That hurt him a little bit.
	That hurt him.
	That one hurt him a little bit.
	That one didn't hurt you a little bit.
	Well, no, it just wasn't that outrageous.
	That one hurt you a little bit.
	Listen, there's deer everywhere, bro.
	It's not just in fucking Western PA.
	Yeah, but there's poor people from Claredon, Pennsylvania.
	Oh, white people have it hard.
	We know.
	They took away our fan.
	We have deer in Western PA.
	What are we going to do?
	Guys, I knew we were going to end this on a fucking sour note.
	I know.
	It's the glasses.
	The second you put on the glasses.
	That's the movie.
	Listen.
	Oh, my blue eye, baby.
	Actually, no, that's not.
	I love my blue eyes.
	I didn't win.
	I didn't win.
	It's an ask.
	You didn't win.
	It's an ask.
	It's an ask?
	It's an ask.
	Handshake.
	Steal.
	Big deal, dog.
	You tricked me.
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	You don't think it's weird that in the middle of the deer hunter, it's all Western PA?
	You look cool as shit.
	What I'm trying to say is.
	I like that.
	You look good.
	I support whatever makes you feel comfortable.
	Fuck.
	I would never criticize you for that.
	Take them off.
	Yeah, they look cool as shit.
	Let me see them.
	They look good on you.
	I don't want it.
	I don't want it because I want to connect with you.
	Go.
	No, but don't you think it's outrageous that it's close.
	Does it build as Western PA?
	Here's the thing.
	The whole time, it's literally a steel factory in Pittsburgh.
	It's 50 years ago.
	Why toss in the Rocky Mountains out of nowhere?
	Because there's snow-capped giant mountains.
	There's mountains right there.
	There's mountains an hour south of Pittsburgh.
	I know, but they're not snow-capped, Rocky Mountains.
	Of course, they're snow-capped.
	There's Appalachian Mountains.
	They're from dumbasses.
	Yes.
	You're telling me there's no snowcapped in the Appalachian Mountains.
	Yes.
	What did John Denver sing about?
	Blue Ridge Mountains.
	Blue Ridge Mountains.
	West Virginia.
	West Virginia.
	What is one hour south of Pittsburgh?
	But wait, they're not mountains.
	They're not snow capped.
	There's not mountains.
	There's not snow capped in the winter.
	There's not snow capped in the winter.
	Now you're talking about the middle.
	Oh, now we have seasonal.
	Are you going seasonal on us?
	Yo, that's crazy.
	Bro, are you guys dumb?
	Do you not understand?
	We gotta say some jobs.
	You're smart.
	I'm trying to figure this out.
	No, don't do that.
	No, don't do that.
	Don't do this.
	Don't do this.
	You're saying, oh, the snow can only be there all around?
	The years?
	Fuck, that was so cold.
	I am so close.
	I am so close.
	A snow cat, a rocky.
	You've seen the Rockies.
	What do I need to Google?
	Man and no hook.
	The Allegheny Mountains.
	Life is sold to the Rocky Mountains.
	Older than the.
	Yes, we got it.
	That's what the mountains look like where I'm from.
	Country Roads.
	Take me home to the place where I belong.
	West Virginia.
	Snow Cappins.
	Mountains, Mama.
	That's what this is.
	That's a Rocky Mountains.
	That's the Appalachians.
	Bro, you're doing like a Rocky Mountains, they look really rolly.
	It looks insane.
	So you're saying this is like Home Lone 2 lost in New York and they had Bourbon Street randomly.
Guardians of Galaxy 00:12:05
	Exactly.
	They did?
	I think you could put snow on mountains.
	I don't think this is a good argument for you.
	No, no, trust me.
	I don't think it is.
	But New York is a much cooler city.
	Just like the Rocky Mountains are a much cooler mountain.
	Yes, but in the middle of a movie that's the whole thing's based on Western Pennsylvania.
	It's a bunch of like.
	It's from this.
	It's a movie.
	It's a movie.
	Which makes it more outrageous.
	Fifth generation fighters.
	He's going up against a fifth generation fighter.
	Fifth generation.
	And an F-16, dude.
	There's no way.
	There's no way.
	If you could possibly win the time, it would be accurate.
	Guys.
	No, it wouldn't because you can see the type of mountain.
	You don't know topography?
	Okay.
	I mean, look.
	Okay.
	So listen.
	To guys that like Top Gun, yes, it would make no difference.
	You'd be like, oh, that's a mountain.
	I like superhero movies.
	Come on, Sean.
	Here we go.
	Here we go.
	You don't like superhero movies.
	I like a couple.
	Name them.
	Good Batman's.
	Phenomenal.
	Phenomenal.
	Nolan.
	The Good Batmans.
	The Incredibles.
	And I like.
	The Incredibles.
	Fantastic.
	I never saw the Incredibles.
	Fantastic.
	It's fantastic.
	It's a fire movie.
	I've seen the pictures of the lady.
	I've been jerking off to this.
	Just got my nipples sucked for those a couple times.
	I saw Guardians of the Galaxy.
	Yeah.
	Great.
	He makes me cry.
	Every single time.
	Every single time.
	Guardians of the Galaxy makes me cry.
	Wolverine was good.
	Yeah.
	Logan.
	Logan.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was good.
	I know you like Logan from the moment.
	I like the good ones.
	Guardians of the Galaxy is that good.
	I had a cartel guy on my pod, and he was like, bro, watch that show on the plane, bro.
	I was crying the whole time.
	It's easy to cry on him.
	Sells weapons.
	It's easy to cry on a podcast.
	Watch lying on the bottom.
	The characters get what they need, not what they cry.
	I haven't even seen it.
	That's good.
	That was good.
	They get what they need.
	They want it, guys.
	What is his name?
	James Gunn?
	Is the Star Wars Jones?
	Wait, is it really?
	You can't.
	Always get what you want.
	You get what you need.
	That's the ethos.
	That's good stuff.
	Actually, you know what?
	I like the Suicide Squad he did.
	Sounds like you love Super Mario Games.
	Sounds like you love Super Guns.
	No, no.
	I don't like the Marvel.
	I don't like the DC.
	You don't like the Avengers?
	Guardians is Marvel.
	I don't.
	Guardians is Marvel.
	No, no, no.
	But I'm saying Avengers are the main ones, the main ones.
	So what you're trying to say is you like it when quality directors direct anything.
	Yes.
	Which is a way better argument than I don't like Marvel movies.
	You just like when fucking artists.
	I don't like the, I don't like the.
	You don't like the cookie color bullshit.
	But when a quality director gets on Batman, it's great.
	It becomes one of the fucking best things ever.
	And James Gunn is Star Wars.
	Is another example.
	I loved Star Wars.
	Originals.
	Well, just because I was growing up, yes.
	I loved Star Wars.
	Yep.
	The new ones sucked it.
	Yeah, mid-mid.
	Rogue One, excellent.
	What is Rogue One?
	The TV series, I think?
	No, no, the girl.
	That was actually a milk.
	Yeah, nah, that was actually pretty good.
	Rogue One is Daniel Kalia and then the girl, Ridley, or something.
	Her name is Rogue One Rules.
	That was good.
	Felicity Jones.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	I think we're on the same page here.
	Quality Director.
	Have you seen Infinity Wars and Endgame?
	Infinity Wars Chant.
	He doesn't like it.
	I didn't love that stuff.
	I think you need the build-up.
	I've seen them all.
	I appreciate it.
	I've seen most of them.
	I saw Iron Man.
	No, I can understand why you don't like it if you're just viewing that as a standalone.
	I don't like the sense of humor in every one of these.
	The style of snarky, dumb bullshit of like, well, we actually have a Hulk.
	So what are you going to do about it?
	It's just okay.
	Okay.
	And I will say, if I'm going to make his argument, I would say that James Gunns killed Superior movies.
	Did you see that sense of humor?
	Yeah, I saw it when it came out.
	How was it a big fan?
	I kind of like this.
	I thought Dead Blue was all right.
	Yeah, but it's that type of humor.
	I think every time.
	Gun is phenomenal.
	What's gone?
	James Gunn.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	And I think the guy Tyke.
	Did he do the Guardians?
	Or was it Gun?
	He did Thor.
	Guardians.
	It was just all comedy.
	It's all funny.
	So they have a different sense of humor.
	Did you like it because of Tor?
	Ragnarok.
	Have you seen that one?
	Because that was Guardians.
	Was it good?
	So funny.
	Here's a softball.
	What do you think of Black Panther?
	Calmer.
	You got to see it.
	I remember going to the theater thinking, this cultural, this is important for the culture.
	And I remember howling, laughing at how bad it was.
	Audibly laughing in the theater.
	I got a bunch of a piece of shit.
	You remember?
	I got so much shit for saying that shit was whack, bro.
	It wasn't whack.
	Because it wasn't amazing.
	You remember I'm brilliant.
	Yes, but it wasn't whack.
	It wasn't amazing, but it wasn't whack.
	That movie, whack.
	Their outfits, whack.
	The power.
	I'm nice.
	Yeah, I didn't fuck with it.
	But what's a shitty movie that you would defend that you would everyone unanimously hates?
	I get shit on for liking the movie The Happening.
	Oh, that's great.
	Wait, what is happening?
	I love that movie.
	What is happening?
	M. Night's Shamalon.
	Are they laughing about what I said?
	What is happening?
	That's a great movie.
	What's happened?
	The Happening was a M. Night Shyamalan with Mark Wahlberg.
	And it's terrible.
	And you like him.
	Isn't he from Philly or Pittsburgh?
	M. Night Shylon's all Philly.
	I'm with you on M. Night, bro.
	Greatest director of all time.
	That was the greatest director of all time.
	But all the Hall of Hawks.
	Shout out to my Nolan.
	I kind of like that.
	I liked it.
	All right.
	Nah, this is fire.
	Name another one.
	I like it.
	Inception.
	Great feelings.
	I thought it was great when it came out.
	And then I've cooled on how much I like his directing.
	Nolan.
	I think I thought Tenant was a disaster.
	I didn't like Tennant.
	Memento.
	I've never seen Tenant.
	Very good.
	You would love it.
	Ridley Scott's.
	Ridley Scott's, my guy.
	You like historical epic.
	Yeah.
	Gladiator.
	Cladiator.
	Obviously.
	Dunkirk.
	American Gangster is Ridley.
	Dunkirk hurt.
	I wanted that.
	Because you wanted that to be.
	I wanted a little bit of violence.
	Do you know what fucking hurt?
	Greyhound.
	But Dunkirk was cool.
	Did you guys see?
	Greyhound was Netflix.
	It broke my heart.
	It was an Apple movie.
	It was an Apple movie with Tom Hanks, World War II.
	It should have been great.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I didn't.
	What about the man named Otto?
	Andrew put us on the phone.
	Oh, phenomenal.
	1917.
	1917.
	Director, though.
	What are we talking about?
	19 directing was awesome.
	What's his face?
	One shot.
	The dude.
	I don't care about that one shot.
	I love it.
	Multiple shots.
	One take.
	I love it.
	Makes it better, you think?
	You just are living in Sam Mendez to pull that office.
	Who also did the entire movie?
	Yeah.
	There's a scene in the movie with Clive Owen where like nobody can reproduce anymore.
	Oh, fuck.
	Children of men.
	Chandron of men that is one shot for like 20 minutes.
	And I will admit, it's fucking impressive knowing going into it, but like, when, what are you laughing at?
	Six o'clock.
	But listen.
	It's at seven o'clock.
	It's almost seven.
	It's seven hours.
	Listen, bro, we have a lot to cut out.
	Okay.
	We have a lot to cut out because of your crazy opinions.
	No, that was you.
	The greatest film of all time.
	This is it.
	We leave the podcast on this.
	Yeah.
	The peanut butter theory.
	Solution.
	Jesus.
	No, that's tough.
	Give me three, and they don't have to have an order.
	You give me, you go first.
	Friday.
	Yeah.
	Friday, next Friday, Friday afternoon.
	Just Friday.
	Top three.
	Top three.
	Thank you, Private Ryan.
	Yeah.
	Top three, what?
	Top three movies of all time.
	Shawshank Redemption?
	Oh.
	Bro, Shawshank is so good.
	Shawshank's really good.
	Shawshank.
	I showed my wife Shawshank during pandemic.
	Are you putting Matrix 1 in there?
	Matrix 10.
	Bro, Matrix 1.
	It's going to be up there.
	It's fucking incredible.
	It can't be a three.
	It can't be a three.
	Matrix was fucking.
	Matrix one is.
	Braveheart was incredible.
	Gladiators.
	For real.
	If you name in Braveheart, Gladiator's right there with it.
	I put it a little above Braveheart.
	He explained the plot of Armageddon.
	Bro, Armageddon.
	Armageddon.
	The Michael Bay filmography.
	Armageddon was explaining.
	Explain the plot.
	But when you explain the plot, the whole thing falls apart.
	It's unbelievably bad.
	But wow, can you just explain the plot as if I've never heard of the movie?
	All right.
	There's a fucking asteroid.
	Wait, but like, would it destroy Earth or something?
	Yeah, this is an Earth destroyer.
	So who are we going to get to fix that problem?
	Now, this is where you would think, like, scientists and astronauts.
	Obviously, yeah.
	Guys on an oil rig.
	Alcoholics on an oil rig.
	But they're not like fauns or anything.
	Yeah, a bunch of them have real serious issues.
	We're going to launch them into outer space.
	Have they been to outer space before?
	They've never left Texas.
	They've never left where they're from once.
	Okay.
	Just launch them in that humanity's only ship.
	Wait, do they get to design the ship, though?
	Or they have a say.
	The oil rig guys have a say on how the ship goes into the ship.
	At one point, a guy gets space dementia.
	What is that even?
	We came up with it.
	He's got space dementia.
	Hey, Shane, they wouldn't happen to have a random gun up there, would they?
	Yeah, somebody's going to bring a gun.
	Why just a nine millimeter in the ship?
	Just in case you have to shoot something in space.
	It's kind of an odd thing.
	Yeah, that movie is trash.
	That movie was bad.
	How does it end?
	But why did it make everyone crack?
	It is so good.
	How?
	Because in the 90s, we were all dumb.
	Yeah, dude, the 90s were the best.
	It really was.
	And Bruce Willis was the best.
	Independence Day was incredible.
	Unbelievable.
	Dude, Will Smith is in 15 minutes of that movie.
	I thought he was there the whole time.
	Yes.
	I also haven't seen that one yet.
	Explain the plot again.
	I was joining.
	Let's do Independence Day.
	So what do we got?
	I'm trying to remember.
	That's a good question.
	Listen, aliens come, but then they're bringing all their boys too.
	Believable.
	And how are we going to take them out?
	9-11's the main ship.
	Wait, what?
	No, it's ship.
	9-11's.
	He says, that's actually where I got the idea.
	I'm back.
	Yeah, that's where the end.
	And what does he hit?
	He's the mothership, and then they all collapse because alien technology is.
	Alien tech, the guys who traveled through space and time.
	They have the same technology that like Christmas lights have.
	Unplug one and the whole Christmas tree goes out.
	That's why I don't watch movies.
	Joaquin Phoenix is better than Tom Cruise.
	It just reminded me of Signs when they got it.
	Joker might be one of the greatest movies.
	Joaquin Phoenix rules, too.
	Signs is so good.
	I mean, signs is great.
	Signs is great.
	Mel Gibson again.
	M Night, bro.
	That's the guy.
	Yeah.
	It's good.
	You didn't think signs?
	No, it was good.
	Okay, what is your top?
	What is your top?
	Just give us a few.
	We named them all.
	Matrix Friday.
	G's out.
	Friday's top three movie.
	I would rather say comedies.
	I can't think of a funnier.
	Cinematic perfection.
	Okay.
	Find a flaw on Friday.
	You can't.
	What about Domino?
	It's up there.
	Great movie.
	No, dude.
	Friday's fun.
	Friday is great.
	All right, this is crazy, but maybe it's Home Alone.
	Home Alone is fantastic.
	I mean, yes.
	Home Alone is really good.
	Home Alone is a fucking great comedy.
	Home Alan 2, one of the greatest sequels of all time.
	Godfather Goodfellas.
	Homeland 2 is fucking better sequel.
	Independence Day.
	I'm Silver.
	No, Jurassic Barbara.
	Jurassic Barbara ruled that.
	Do you remember seeing Jurassic Park as a kid?
	Oh, fuck.
	And the water shaking and you going, oh, it's about to go down.
	Yeah.
	I was against Spielberg for a while.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	I was going to.
	I just seem like when he does war movies, it's always like trumpets.
	You know, when he does like World War II movies, it's always like the Band of Brothers.
National Service Debate 00:09:32
	What?
	She didn't like the music.
	No, no, but just like when guys die, they're like, give this letter to my wife.
	I love her.
	That's how guys die.
	Guys die like, yeah.
	So you remember saving Private Ryan with the fucking?
	I like the Thin Red Line.
	That was crazy.
	What about Vietnam craziness instead of that romantic?
	What about the one that is now?
	No, the HBO one that was the Band of Brothers.
	Band of Brothers.
	Again, he didn't like trumpets.
	I loved it.
	Apocalypse Now?
	I liked it.
	I love it, but Letter from Iwajima Clintisto did it better.
	Full jacket.
	Full metal jackets.
	I knew you would love Full Metal Jacket.
	I like Thin Red Line.
	Thin Red Line's pretty neat.
	I haven't seen it.
	You should see it.
	Tim Kviesel.
	Tropic Thunder.
	Tropic Thunder rules.
	So good.
	Okay, guys.
	Before we get out of here, this is the last thing we're talking about, and then we're stopping this podcast.
	Please.
	That was unnecessary.
	You heard me.
	You have nothing to do tonight.
	You're going to go back to your fucking.
	No, I didn't think I was going to get fucking drunk, dude.
	You knew you were going to get drunk.
	No, I did not.
	You have roommates to go back to where you're going to have the same discussion that we're having right now.
	I'm going to go lay down and go, God damn it, dude.
	I might have a problem.
	Okay.
	National service.
	I mean, the caregivers of ourselves.
	Don't you think?
	Don't you think?
	Listen, I'm about to have a fucking epivy.
	Listen.
	Don't you feel as if every American should do some form of national service?
	Okay, if a vaccine swami, what the fuck is that?
	Wait, did you say that, bro?
	Yeah, you got to like pass a civics exam to vote and do some kind of national service.
	Yeah.
	Blah, blah.
	I don't believe in that.
	Passing it.
	You believe in that?
	No.
	I was going to say, you probably don't even believe in like you need to have a proper ID to vote.
	Right?
	Having an ID is racist.
	Why?
	Why?
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I guess it's hard to get one.
	Yeah.
	Why would that be racist?
	That's not my argument.
	That's the radical left.
	Some people say it's racist to have to show ID to vote.
	Hey, Shane.
	Hey, Shane.
	You know what?
	Some people say that.
	Hey, Shane.
	Some people.
	Who are people?
	I don't know.
	I guess we'd have to Google it.
	You know, he was a cop, right?
	What?
	Look at Happy.
	Look at Happy.
	What?
	The bullies.
	He didn't know that this guy was a cop.
	Oh, you're a fraud.
	Fuck the bullies, bro.
	Two different worlds, dude.
	Listen, Blue Lives Matter on this podcast.
	That's crazy.
	You were a cop?
	I was a court officer, but same thing.
	You got a badge.
	You got a cry.
	Never, bro.
	Isn't it crazy when people have perceptions of you and then it doesn't meet up to what the reality is?
	Oh man, national service.
	What was national service?
	Do you believe mandatory?
	I feel like misconstrued here.
	What are you trying to say?
	The show ID thing.
	I think it was.
	I wasn't trying to offend.
	It was clear.
	I was joking.
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	Let me get him his glasses.
	Hold on.
	Let me get him his glasses.
	We're moving on.
	National service.
	National service.
	Do you think that every do you think that every American should do some form of national service?
	No.
	Interesting.
	Not at all.
	No.
	You don't think you got to be part of this?
	It's one of my biggest regrets that I never.
	Well, by national service.
	So we didn't do it.
	What do you mean?
	I wish I did.
	What do you mean by national service?
	I did.
	You did?
	Yep.
	Why?
	Because you were a court officer?
	Air Force.
	Yeah, Air Force.
	Well, you tried to be part of it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, I tried to be part of the Army.
	I was A-walled out, but that's fair.
	I quit.
	Gang gang.
	What if you had to do just one year?
	It's your schedule.
	No, no, now, obviously.
	But I do like this idea.
	Like, right out of high school, one year.
	One year.
	Do something.
	I don't give a fuck.
	You can go look after.
	What was it that Sebastian said?
	He was like, you don't necessarily have to do foreign.
	It doesn't have to be military.
	He's like, I don't support military service.
	But he was like, national service, working domestically within the United States, go repair a fucking, you know, national park.
	Take all the people from Beverly Hills, make them work on the border wall.
	I believe that.
	Have them understand what the fuck is going on.
	Yeah.
	But like, we know if that was in place, then all the rich people will have their kids.
	Just like, oh, you just have to go to some easy place.
	They're always going to do that, but at least we get an idea of what I think you should make some sacrifice to be part of the country.
	It's very easy to just accept all the beautiful things that it has.
	And I think if you just put a fucking year of your life, I wish I did it.
	My dad did it.
	I didn't do it.
	And I regret it now at 39 years old.
	18 and 19.
	18, 19.
	Yeah.
	And my dad upped his card.
	So he chose to go in.
	So it's like, and his fucking, all of his brothers and shit did the whole, oh, I'm studying or, oh, I'm in college, whatever, that kind of stuff.
	And I wish I fucking did it.
	That's a regret I have.
	You wish you were a troop?
	Not necessarily.
	Not necessarily that.
	Some form of national service.
	More than.
	Now we're drinking.
	No, no, more here.
	But if it meant to be that, then sure.
	It's the best time of drinking.
	No, but for real.
	If it meant to be that, then for real.
	I wish I did something.
	I wish I did something.
	One week in a month.
	One week in a month.
	Do something.
	Shane said he wished he was a Navy service.
	I should have been a fucking special forces guy.
	You could have been a special force.
	You'd be like a beluga wheel that we put you in the fucking.
	Don't be nasty because you're getting teary-eyed about not being a troop, you fucking pussy.
	No, good luck getting anybody.
	That's also, it's anti-American, dude.
	It's anti-American.
	It's anti-American to want to be part of America.
	No, to force people to be takes away from the American American.
	Yeah, you're right.
	You're right.
	You're right.
	There's something.
	Is it a draft anti-American?
	People have argued that.
	Do you believe it's anti-American or is it not if we need it?
	It's like World War II, like it's an existential group.
	You could argue that you need it for social harmony for everyone to do one year to feel invested in the social.
	Yeah, but that's less of an imminent threat.
	This is an imminent danger.
	Or are we so polarized now that we can't do it?
	I think you just care so little about the Jews that World War II didn't seem like that big of a deal to you.
	That was a shitty press.
	I think doing a little something.
	I think doing a little something.
	I'm on board with that.
	One year.
	One year.
	Yeah.
	One year is not.
	Go work in a national park, dude.
	You can work at National Park.
	You could work over at a border.
	You could work as part of the, I don't know.
	Yeah, Peace Corps.
	Peace Corps.
	I think one year.
	U.S.O. comedy shows.
	And it brings people together where it's like how New York brings so many cultures together.
	Absolutely.
	New York doesn't bring that many cultures together.
	Yes, it does.
	You get to New York, you better assimilate.
	Nah, but you better act.
	You better be far left, bro.
	Yeah, but if you go to like Alabama, bro.
	If you go to Alabama, I don't know.
	Here, it's there.
	I wonder if they're more accepting of, I don't know.
	New York, you're kind of forced to have to.
	New York, you got to go.
	If you say, I'm a Republican, they go, you get out.
	Here's the thing.
	New Yorkers.
	They say go to Staten Island.
	Exactly.
	New Yorkers say, if you're not a Republican, then you're a weirdo.
	And then New Yorkers also be like, yo, no homo, bro.
	Like, too.
	Like, why are you trying to make all these gay references?
	That's wild gay.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So real New Yorkers.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Transplants are super liberal.
	Transplants are super liberal.
	Actual New Yorkers are like, yo, what's going on over here?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I would say New York's probably not the most accepting place in America.
	I feel we're the most let him make you.
	Honestly, as a native New Yorker, I feel we're the most accepted.
	Can I chime in on your behalf?
	Because I think when you come here, every single person here votes the same way.
	That's wrong.
	We had a Republican mayor.
	When?
	All of them.
	Well, Eric Adams is a...
	When?
	Bloomberg is a registered Republican, Juliani, his entire life.
	Giuliani, Republican.
	We like Republicans.
	He's a gay.
	Yeah.
	I'm just saying that was back before politics were as polarized.
	I think, I think I don't think it's fair.
	I think it's reasonable to say any area that the entire populace votes the exact same way, be it Alabama or New York, isn't the most accepting.
	But on a city level, isn't that most places?
	Most places are pretty one way or the other.
	Like, there's four states where your vote really matters.
	All right, go outside and say there's only two genders.
	See if somebody doesn't scream in your face.
	No, look, I'm with you to a large degree.
	You're part of a different New York, bro.
	Didn't we vote in the dude that lied about his whole fucking resume?
	Yeah, but he lied about some gay shit.
	Yeah, that guy was awesome.
	That guy ruled.
	But he was a Republican, and we voted him in.
	His resume was nice.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Catch me if you can.
	Forget that guy.
	Regardless, I'm just, I think that's a reasonable thing to say.
	I don't know how accepting New York is.
	It's not the most accepting.
	I think you're also confusing transplants with native New Yorkers.
	Because I do the same thing.
	I moved here and they're just yelling, and you're like, what the fuck?
	I thought I was a moderate person.
	Y'all are making me feel like I'm an asshole.
	But I think a lot of those people move here because they feel like they can be free to have their very progressive opinions.
	And I think a lot of New Yorkers that are like born and raised here are just like, yo, what's up with these blue-haired chicks?
	I agree with that.
	Yes.
	I agree.
	Yes.
	The guy on the garbage truck.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Transplants are good ones.
	Certainly.
	So worse.
	And I think a lot of New York.
	I think they're the loudest ones in New York.
	And they're the ones that like post the opinions on social media.
	But like actual New Yorkers, I don't think they're tripping.
	A lot of us, a lot of natives got pushed up.
	So it is a battle right now in terms of native New Yorkers and transplants.
Native New Yorkers 00:01:20
	Yeah.
	It's probably 50-50.
	Day one in New York City.
	Yeah.
	The natives.
	You're Bill the Butcher.
	Yeah.
	Yo, shout out to Bill, though.
	Yeah.
	Don't get me into the natives.
	I told you we were trying to avoid this whole thing.
	And there's one Tom Cruise character or Denzel that's better than Bill the Butcher, Daniel Day-Lewis.
	I'll wait.
	I mean, Tom Cruise.
	You know the story?
	Was he in Boomerang?
	What?
	What?
	Wasn't he in Boomerang?
	Wasn't he in Boomerang?
	Hell no.
	You got to end the podcast.
	This is the fucking Indian guy.
	This is like Instagram.
	We appreciate you.
	We don't throw you out the last two hours.
	Go check out Boomerang.
	Shane's favorite movie.
	Peace.
	Please go check out Beautiful Dogs on Netflix.
	Make sure you take it.
	Delete the Netflix special.
	Shane and Matt's podcast.
	Yo, check out Matt's special on YouTube right now.
	Absolutely hilarious.
	And go check out Stuff Island, our boys O'Connor, and Tommy Pope.
	And then when the time is ready, make sure you go and check out and support Tires, which is a hilarious show.
	And I hope it breaks the fucking mold and I hope amazing things happen from the other side.
	I'm afraid to delete everything.
	But we will mostly delete most.
	We skip the whole thing until right now.
	Just put out a one-minute podcast of just the shout outs.
	Good.

Chapters

00:00:00 Funny Sex Story
00:14:35 Toilet Sales in Bombay
00:23:32 Twitch and Vatican Secrets
00:35:19 Natural Born Athlete
00:45:02 Australians on 9-11
00:47:33 Bondi Rescue Show
00:53:13 Poker Money Split
01:01:53 Ecstasy Stage Moment
01:04:46 Supreme Leader Fight
01:19:08 Nate vs Jake Fight
01:22:53 Imagine Dragons Song
01:28:55 Kenny McBride Surfing
01:43:29 Drugs and Eastbound Down
01:55:55 Fume Device Promo
01:59:47 Healthy Lung Alternative
02:04:54 CIA JFK Connection
02:19:58 Prize Picks Defense
02:27:59 Denzel vs Leo Acting
02:36:01 Rocky Mountains Snow
02:39:58 Guardians of Galaxy
02:52:03 National Service Debate
03:01:36 Native New Yorkers