Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the awkward Nelk Boys interview, debating incest ethics while promoting Schulz's global comedy tour. They critique the "mid" reception of Barbie, analyze Hollywood's exploitation of children versus Catholic abuse patterns, and examine the SAG-AFTRA strike over streaming revenue transparency. The duo also weighs the forced diversity in A Man Called Otto, compares Napoleon to Hitler, and concludes that modern cinema relies on meme marketing due to actor strikes, highlighting a fractured industry where profit disputes drive shorter seasons and reality TV dominance. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Steiny Trolls Nelk00:14:13
What's up everybody?
Welcome to Playgrid.
Now let's start the show with a message, okay?
Nelk, release the pod.
Oh, oh yes!
The pod, Nelk!
It's time for war, Nelk!
Let's go!
Okay!
This video went viral of the manager of Nelk, John Shahidi, brilliant guy.
And he also manages a bunch of other podcasts and he's involved with some businesses.
Like, yeah, like he's connected with Elon and just really, really, really interesting dude.
And has been very good to us in terms of giving advice and that kind of shit.
And so he's on this podcast with, I believe, is Graham Steffens.
Yeah.
The iced coffee hour.
Yeah.
Right?
Okay.
So this goes viral.
You guys ever shoot podcasts and not post them?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a sore subject.
But yeah, there was one.
But there was an episode with Andrew Schultz.
Schultz went after.
Like, you know, I think, you know, when like a stand-up comedian like looks in the crowd and decides like just go after somebody?
Well, I think like Schultz was kind of like, went after Steiny.
And he, um, and it was pretty awkward.
Was it the whole episode or was it like...
It was a bulk of it.
It was like...
No, you couldn't cut around it.
He would come back to it and like he just wanted to go after Steiny.
Almost felt bad for Steiner.
You guys are sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Now.
He bullied who.
Are you going around?
I don't even think it was that long on Steiny.
Now, Nelk reacted to this video because a lot of people are giving them shit.
They're like, release the fucking episode, you pussies, et cetera.
And they basically were like, Schultz said he didn't want to put out the episode.
Yeah.
Which is true because it sucked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like, I think I told you guys.
I vividly remember.
Yeah, it was just like one of the worst podcasts I've ever been on.
And basically, like, here's the thing.
Here's what happened.
It was, it was Steve will do it, who's fucking hilarious, and he's a fan.
He even promoted the special.
He was great.
And then Kyle and Steiny.
And Kyle is like the mastermind behind Nelk.
Like, he's kind of like a genius.
He's the guy I see the most.
He just understands culture and like connecting with different people and like building a community and a brand.
And, but Kyle and Steiny, I don't think they really knew who I was.
So like, I think they were aware of who I am or was at the time, but not really that aware of the content.
And not about, yeah, not about you as a famous person or whatever, but your comedy, your style.
Yeah, like I think that maybe they watched the special like right before the pod or something like that.
But I think it was more a situation where it was like, okay, this guy's got a big reach on YouTube.
We have a big reach on YouTube.
This can be a big episode type of thing.
And Steve is the fan.
Steve is the sweetest guy in the world.
Like if I called Steve right now probably and asked him to like help me move my apartment, he'd be like, I can be there tomorrow.
He's just the sweetest fucking guy.
But he doesn't drive the pod.
Kyle and Steiny drive the pod.
I'm sitting in this thing and I thought that they all were like in the same fraternity or something.
I wasn't as familiar with like Nelk, but Kyle's kind of like organized these like internet superstars, if you will.
Like you have Saleem and like Bradley Martin and like built like a team and a brand around it.
But in my mind, they all went to college together.
So when I'm there and they're not really like talking and I'm just like, what is going on right now?
They said that in the video.
They were like, we were nervous because that was the first time we had ever all done a pod together.
It was just Trump and me.
The only time they bring out the A team.
So it was just this like kind of weird energy.
And like, I pretty early on realized that like Kyle and Stein don't really know me that well.
Because the questions they're asking are like really basic questions.
That was an example.
Has anybody ever like heckled you?
And there's a moment in the pod.
I don't know if they edited it, but where I'm like, what?
And they're like, have you ever like talked to someone in the crowd?
And like.
So I'm thinking, so I'm thinking two different things in this moment.
I'm going, either they have no clue who I am, and that's weird that I would even be here.
Annoying, yeah.
Or they know and it's a troll.
So I'm like, hmm.
Do you know what I mean?
And in no, you know, in that moment, Steiny got up.
You got clips.
Now he tells what you do.
That's what I do.
But I don't even think I was being funny.
I think I was just, you know, explaining to him who I think he is in a stern way.
Yeah.
So, but, but you have to understand, it was just like, it was like a, I think they even said in the clip, it was like a weird moment.
The energy was just kind of off, you know, and like, like we were just doing the interview and like randomly, like producers would come in and like angle the Happy DAD cans like to the camera.
So the logo was facing the can and i'd be like in the middle of like telling a story or explaining something.
Like a check drop.
Yeah, and i'm like you hate those.
Yeah exactly, but it was just one of those things where it's like i'm like i'm in this moment where like okay, I don't think these guys know who I am.
There are moments where like, none of us talked, like we just sit there like this and i'd be like what is happening right now.
So, like I, and then the logo thing and I was just like it.
What is it like?
The beautiful thing about podcasts is when you have like genuine interest in someone, you get to sit across from them and like ask all your con, your questions and, like you know, get to the bottom of theories or, if you hate someone yeah, you get to confront them about something.
It's like it's just like this beautiful thing.
And in the moment where they're moving the logo, i'm like am I doing a commercial for Happy DAD and not getting paid for it, like what is going on right now.
So I think, do like a base level of research, like someone is coming out of their day to like spend time to sit with you, so they god bless Akash, we've had some guests on where he's been like dude, I gotta research this guy, but he does it, he does it.
So I think I just, you know, I was just like what is going on right here?
So I think it was just like, and then I think maybe Steiny asked me one, one more question and it could have been genuine from him, but it felt like trolling and I was like who is this fucking Chicken Mc Nugget asking me shit?
Like like, who is this?
When i'm trying to film a commercial?
Yeah, i'm trying to do a happy dad, happy dad.
I'm trying to sell self, doing my best yeah okay, to sell the fucking spike selfies, yeah.
And then they asked me some fucking question and I you know which.
It is kind of funny that, like Steve, I guess, doesn't talk that much, so he wasn't saying The much.
And then Kyle apparently doesn't always like lead a lot of times with certain people, so he wasn't talking much.
So, Steiny, according to the video, his explanation, he was like, I was doing my best to like keep it going.
He was trying, and then he was leading most of that interview, and it always seemed to be a little bit more.
There was a moment where I was like, Am I interviewing y'all?
Yeah, like that's the thing.
Like, so afterwards, I hit him up.
I was like, I was like, Yo, should we just scrap it?
And then I was just gonna tell, I was and we can like do it again.
And I was gonna say, Bring Bradley and Salim we'll have more of a rapport with, and then like they know my stuff a little bit more, and then we can kind of have some fun.
Even John could have been on the pod as well.
Wow, John should have sat down.
So, I was just gonna say, Yeah, we could do it again.
And then, what I heard was that, but I also, but they also were like, Hey, we'll edit it and then see what's going on.
And I was like, Look, it's fine, it's your pod, whatever you want to do.
But then, what I heard is that Steiny was like, Please don't release that podcast.
So, I think he's acting as if he, you know, he's like, Yeah, let's just have it out there.
I think they should release it still.
Like, I just put it out.
I know they're concerned about Steve will do it's face because I think he's banned from YouTube, but just blur his face.
Like, if you blur his face, sounds like he didn't talk much anyway.
So, it's mainly you and Steiny.
In the beginning, it was some talking, and I think everybody was like, What is going on right now?
Like, I've never seen a podcast.
People should see it for what not to do on a podcast.
Like, there is, I hope that you can see there's a moment where I think we all just take a breath together.
There's a moment, yeah, where like it's like, So, you have a watch?
Cool.
What do you tell time with that?
Let's take a break.
Happy Dad is coming out of the new flavor of chicken McNugget.
We got, you know, it's like, I was like, What is going on right now?
You know what this reminds me of?
What this beautiful moment from Seinfeld and Larry and he was smart enough to keep it in.
Hello, live.
What a genius Seinfeld there.
Larry King Live was the name of this show.
Should we watch it?
You've seen this?
I mean, that's watching.
That's fantastic.
This is exactly how I felt, and maybe it went similar.
180 episodes.
You gave it up, right?
I did, so they didn't cancel you, you cancel them.
You're not aware of this?
No, I'm asking you.
You think I got canceled?
Are you under the impression I got canceled?
Hurt your Jerry.
I thought that was pretty well documented.
Is this still CNN?
Don't most shows go down on the ground.
Most people do, also, just from watching.
But yeah, no, I went off there.
I was the number one show on television, Larry.
Do you know who I am?
Yeah.
Jewish guy, Brooklyn.
Yes.
Okay.
75 million viewers last episode.
Don't take it so bad.
Well, that's the big difference between being canceled and being number one.
We'll be right back.
They cut the conversation.
Let me just tell you something.
I was not that funny.
You know, like Even Seinfeld is like, you know how you hate your dad and then you just become your dad?
Yeah.
That's even Seinfeld.
What are you talking?
I cannot wait till you guys meet up, dude.
It's going to be amazing.
Oh, we have.
Didn't go well.
Again, again, again, yeah, again.
Second time's a term, right, Nelt?
What did he say to him?
Do you not know who I am?
It was, he said something.
I think the question's in there.
It's like, it was something like, yeah, so have you ever had a situation where like you like interact with the audience on the fly or something?
I love this.
And it was just like, I was like, and I think I just went like this.
I think I just went, yeah.
Yeah, I think that, I think it was just like, yeah.
And that point, I was like, I think he's trolling.
Yeah, they had to be trolling.
It felt like you just very unfamiliar.
Because that's the thing I didn't know.
So I chose to be more direct.
Yeah, like that.
You treat him like he was trolling.
I want to see this.
Yes.
Because if you guys aren't familiar, you'd be softer.
But if you think he's trolling, the only way to beat him is to.
And there's a certain level of like, you got to be at a level to troll.
You know, like if Charlemagne is trolling me like that and I'm on the breakfast club, it's just a hilarious thing.
Yeah.
But, you know, I don't think anybody has gone further in entertainment with less talent than this kid.
So it's like, I'm like, where does he get off trolling?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, where does he get off trolling?
So that's why I was like, I need to, this needs a reaction.
You're going to mess up your happy dad sponsorship, dude.
You're really going to mess that up.
All that happy dad money is going out the drain right now.
Damn, flavor for you, dude.
Damn, what flavor?
What would be the comedian?
You rarely lost it when they were like, yo, how's your time on Guy Coder?
You just read you with Peter.
So you went to UCSB.
What was that?
Literally, it felt like that.
Were he's a class clown?
Yeah.
Honestly, it might have been one of the questions.
It was like, hey, Chat GPT, can you give a list of questions for a comedian that you've never seen before?
Yeah.
That was the question.
And it's just, and it's like, let's just not do it.
Yeah.
That's, you know, I'd just rather just not do it.
I want to see it now.
Put it out, guys.
Put it out.
It's also hilarious because I think Steiny was trying to keep it afloat.
He might have been genuinely.
In fact, he was the one trying and then you just coffered him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no, he wasn't.
I think that's the funniest part.
Well, if listen, if that's the case, I apologize.
If that's the case, I apologize.
But he has like an air of inauthenticity to him.
And like, it's always hard for me to be around people that are like pretending.
So it's like, you know what I mean?
Like my knee-jerk reaction to people who are being fake with me is to be like incredibly direct with them so that they have to be real in that moment.
You know what I mean?
And, you know.
He would need to.
If he was doing his best and he was like feeling insecure that the interview wasn't doing that well and like he was no one's trying to do something.
Okay, I'm the only one that'll ask questions.
Yeah, then I then I feel bad and I would apologize for it.
That being said, it might be consistent to like how he is.
Yeah.
I don't know, just the overwhelming hate for this poor kid.
It's just unbelievable.
It's like he's like, catch me outside or something.
Like just, it's like, I'm maybe bro.
Like maybe.
It's like, it's just great.
The video went up and like every comment was like, fuck that kid.
And maybe he was genuinely trying to keep the interview afloat.
Well, I'm sure you're going to help us PR with your, I don't know who's gone further on less talent campaign.
I just believe it.
But that's not.
That doesn't mean he's a bad guy.
But it doesn't mean, no, he's socially savvy.
I mean, he's gotten to this position, right?
Like, I think he started out as Steve's assistant and then he got, now he's on the show and Steve isn't.
Like, so the kid is socially savvy.
There's no question to get there.
I think I even said, said that in the pod.
But I don't know.
Like, I don't know.
Would you want it to come out in its entirety or the way Kyle was saying, it was reacting to moments and then discussing them further?
Pre-Sale Ticket Announcements00:02:14
Put it out.
Put the whole thing out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That dead air is what you really want.
It's the sweet sauce of it.
And it's also fun to watch it from this perspective.
Yeah.
Because if you went into it with the excitement of like, say you're a fan of the Milk Boys, you're a fan of us.
And you're like, oh, shit, I want to see Schultz on the show.
This is going to be this awesome collaboration of these two people that I'm really into.
You're going to be like, this was the worst thing that's ever happened.
But if you go into it going, this is the worst podcast ever.
And then it satisfies that, you're like, hell yeah.
Nailed it.
100%.
Tour announcements.
Long Island.
I owe you a show.
Pandemic killed our show at the Paramount.
Well, you know what?
We're making it good.
September 13th.
We're pulling back up.
The pre-sale is up right now.
Okay.
Theandrestrolls.com.
Use the pre-sale code Andrew.
Get those tickets immediately, immediately, immediately.
I don't want any of y'all to miss out.
Also, to the people, the good people up in Canada that were not able to get tickets to the Scotiabank Arena shows, I'm going to be doing the weekend before Niagara Falls, the casino, and then also Windsor.
Windsor, Windsor, Windsor, and Niagara Falls.
So that's going to be Niagara Falls the 22nd and Windsor, Ontario, the 23rd.
So DeAndrewSchultz.com, pre-sale code Andrew for those.
Those are on sale right now.
Also, Ireland, some tickets left.
Calgary, some tickets left.
DeandrewSchultz.com for those.
We'll see you out there.
Peace.
Also, guys, I got some dates to announce.
And first of all, again, thank you guys, Houston.
I think I said this last week, but we sold out three dates for my special taping in September.
Thank you guys so much.
But in the meantime, this is important.
Every Monday in August in New York City, I'm going to be running my special hour to get it ready for September.
That is August 7th, 14th, 21st, and 28th at New York Comedy Club.
You can get your tickets at their website or mine.
Also, this week, guys, I'm going to be in Albany, New York on July 20th.
South Burlington, Vermont on July 21st.
August 2nd, I'm going to be in Omaha, Nebraska.
August 3rd, I'm going to be in West Des Moines, Iowa.
You can get those tickets and a bunch more dates at akashsing.com.
New York Comedy Club.
Buy them tickets.
I'll see you there.
Genetic Incest Debate00:15:16
The funniest shit about the Island Boys is it shows what people are more grossed out by, incest or gay.
Because there are comments on the Twitter videos of the Island Boys kissing where people are like, ew, that's gay.
It's two brothers kissing, yo.
Yo, okay, can I just throw this out?
Is being, no, hold on, hold on.
Is being identical twins not as weird?
I was just thinking this.
Y'all, weird.
Not just genetics, right?
It's the same genetic.
100% genetical match, like genetic match, completely.
Kissing your brother is like kissing yourself.
No.
Yep.
So they could just be a bitch.
Not your mouth.
A regular brother is 50% genes of the same.
This is 100%.
So they could make a circle jerk each other in a second.
That's a different thing.
When he jerks yourself off, he's jerking off his brother.
He's not jerked off.
What about this, Al?
Shit.
Keep that same energy, bro.
Keep the same energy.
What did they kiss?
How would you feel about it?
I already told y'all about what I had.
This is a fire story.
Say it again.
I was dating a twin, right?
And I asked her, I was like, yo, have you and your sister ever, you know, hooked up with the same dude?
And she was like, that's incest.
And my reaction was, for y'all, that's something you got to deal with.
Talk to God about that for y'all.
For me, it's a thrizzy.
But yeah, you got to have the threesome with them.
But everyone looks at that and know, yeah, that's fine.
Then they look at this and they're like, gross.
Yeah, you don't get it?
But what is it?
Is it the gay or is it the incest?
It's both together.
Well, it depends who you are.
But this is gay.
Incest also on everyone.
Can I just say something?
It depends who you are religiously.
Because if you're a devout Christian, incest is okay.
Oh.
It's okay.
It's just part of it.
That is a good way to do it.
Why?
What do you mean?
They'd be familiar with that shit biblically.
Biblically.
Something you was getting in where you fit in.
And sometimes what you fit in is the family.
Yeah, it fits perfect.
You know what I mean?
I remember asking one of my teachers, I was like, so Adam and Eve, they had three sons, I think, or two sons, three sons.
And I was like, so where, how did.
I always thought that too.
And then they were like, well, we don't know exactly how many people.
And, you know, they had, you know, God in mysterious ways.
Even scientifically, if there's only, unless there was like 10 people that got dropped here or sprang up and they weren't related, there's first man, then it's probably first woman, and then, you know, probably the same.
They're probably incestual.
Now, if I was to say Adam first man, Eve first woman, But then God probably threw down some pussy as well.
And some dick as well.
I don't think they were all made by Adam and Eve.
I don't think we're all direct descendants of Adam and Eve.
Well, actually.
But there was a first human.
But someone had to be first.
Yeah.
Somebody were all first.
There were also some Neanderthals out there.
We're fucking them.
And also some Yunkai or whatever.
What are the big motherfuckers?
What is that?
Kanukis?
What are the conspiracy theorists called the Jones?
The Wembinyamas.
No, no, no.
The Wembinyamas.
No, The Giants.
Yeah, the Navinians.
Yeah, some of them.
There's a name for giants that's in the Bible, I think, too.
Anyway, my point is: if you are a devout Christian, you've read stories about incest.
Nephilim.
Nephilim.
So you've read stories about incest.
It's just part of it.
Like, didn't, what's his face sleep with his daughters or something?
Starts with a J, maybe?
Go, go, go.
Josiah.
Joseph.
Joseph.
No, no, no.
The dude who.
There was a story that I remember being.
Oh, his daughters rape him.
Oh, Moses, maybe?
No, no, no, no.
His daughters rape him.
So you shouldn't know this shit.
Oh, yeah.
Tamar and Lot.
Yeah.
How, how?
What happened?
Because you just learned it.
What is happening?
You just learned it.
Can I tell you?
You're a born-again Christian?
You just learned it.
It was given to me.
It was given to me.
God gave it to me.
That moment God gave it to me.
No, I learned it at all.
They were friends.
They were not having descendants.
So they got him drunk and had sex with him.
They raped him.
That's Old Testament.
Those are Jew books.
Well, you can't bring your Jew birth to Moab and the other gave to Ammon.
Exactly.
Oh, if you're Christian, you can't be that judgmental.
And Jewish and Jewish.
And Jewish.
You Jewish.
You're Jewish.
You Jewish.
You guys are both way more Jewish.
You off Jewish.
I'm all off Jewish.
You all Jews.
We're the sequel.
You're all Jewish, bro.
It's a spin off.
Exactly.
You the CC.
So exactly.
You're the sequel.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Godfather 2.
You die hard for Jewish.
Godfather 2, bro.
Come on.
Listen.
If you are Jewish.
If you're devout Christian, maybe even Muzzy, you all believe in these stories so.
So the incest part should not bug you at all.
The only part that should bug you is the gay.
If the gay part is bugging you, is it gay if it's the same genetic human being?
That's a validity.
Isn't it gay?
It's the same genetic human being.
It's not gay, but it's the worst sin of all.
Pride.
It's narcissism, bro.
He's trying to cook.
He's interesting.
He's interested.
He's good.
That's Aaron.
He's cooking.
That's Aaron.
He's cooking.
I'm going to give it to you.
Straight to him.
He's cooking.
He's cooking.
Can't be cooking.
Can't do it.
No, no, we know they're going to hell.
We're not defeating that.
But here's the question.
Let me ask this.
If you cloned your wife, your wife.
Not cheating.
Your fiance.
Smash.
Is that cheating?
No.
How?
It's a clone.
How?
It's a genetic clone, right?
Yeah, but it's different.
Whoa, What a waste of a cheat.
Right?
You don't be angry at me about this.
I could have got a real cheat off.
Yeah.
Cheating with you.
She got all your same moves.
No, you're not a cheat.
We just.
I was like, how's she going to catch you?
Thrizzy's all.
Thrizzy is all dang.
Thrizzy's crazy.
What?
The Thrizzy?
Come on.
That's crazy.
Wait.
You have both of them angry you?
Come on.
That's crazy.
Would you do a Thrizzy with the clone of yourself?
Nah.
No.
Wait a minute.
Would you let your clone smash your fiance?
No.
Is you.
Is it incest if it's your genetic, identical brother?
Technically, it's not, y'all.
Technically, it's no different than kicking yourself.
It's less weird.
It's less weird.
Nah, because you jerking off ain't incest.
Exactly.
So if he gave you a hand, Job, that's a just a jerk off.
Nah, you can't get jerked off by your genetic person.
That's it.
That's it.
Jerk off.
It's a different person.
Your logic is falling apart.
Now, I'm still.
Staying true.
Hold up.
Hold up.
It's a different person.
Are you trying to say the environment changes it?
Are you trying to say a person is dictated by their environment?
Mike.
Oh, shit.
He bailed you out.
You lucky.
I don't tell him that.
No, My mic.
Hold on.
My mic is on.
Hold on.
So, are you trying to say a person is a product of their environment?
So we have to be careful what we teach these kids in school.
Oh, yeah.
And who reads to them?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
For a second, I thought you were saying drag queens were good.
I thought you were saying that for a second.
And that's where I was getting freaked out.
No, I mean, they're two different people.
If one of them grabs a bank, you can't be like, you're both going to jail.
No, they're not the same.
Two different men.
Exactly.
Yep.
You know, no, we acknowledge that.
Mark is cooked.
Come on.
Let's go.
Esquire.
Esquire.
I'm an attorney.
Listen.
Of course they're two different people.
Yeah, they just change.
Nobody's questioning whether they're the same person.
Is that what you thought we were arguing?
If they're one human being, they're two different human beings.
So then it's incest.
But no genetic man.
Genetically, it's the same.
Let me tell you something.
It's gay.
Whoa, what the fuck is this?
Trying to get the heat off me, bro.
This is a deception tactic in court.
Nah.
No, I've been watching court TV all weekend, bro.
Wait, what?
What is that?
Maybe I'm a genetic clone with him.
You know what I'm saying?
Come on, bro.
Hold on.
Maybe we're triplets.
Did he fuck Adam's wife?
Yo, yo, hold on.
Dude, no, you can't say that, bro.
What's going on, bro?
That's a guy's wife.
Yo, take this.
Yeah, why are we looking at it?
And why did you know that that exists?
I'm just scrolling.
Oh, bro.
I feel a brick coming.
I'm feeling prick.
Yo, they are down bad.
Let's go.
God damn.
You think Epstein got to him?
You see those old pictures?
What?
There's a picture of Epstein with two young kids.
Everybody says it's the Island Boys.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I mean, they are down bad.
No, I think they're being sex trafficked.
I'm trying to figure out what they're saying.
We need Ballard, bro.
We need Ballard to save the Island Boys, yo.
Shout out, what's his name?
Who?
Uh-oh.
Sounds like a bad boy.
We need Sounds of Freedom to save the Island Boys, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Let's go.
Oh, yo, why are they closing their eyes?
That's kind of gayer to me.
Nah, Blue don't close his eyes.
Bro, this is crazy.
All right, took one moment.
It took one moment.
Don't close your eyes, bro.
Or maybe that, I don't know.
This is wow.
All right, we got to stop this.
I feel bad.
We got to stop.
Yeah.
I feel bad.
Because there being sex traffic.
We need Ballard, bro.
Can men get sex trafficked after 18?
Yeah.
How?
That.
They do it.
It's very common.
Listen, watch Sounds of Freedom.
You're going to know.
They're driving themselves through the sex traffic.
Ain't that crazy?
Yeah.
I don't think there's a ton of traffic for dudes over 18 trying to flop.
Look at that OnlyFans on fire right now.
They're trafficking themselves.
They're not getting that money, bro.
Is it?
They're being sex traffic.
Who's signing up for that?
Oh, I can't believe I claim that.
Who's signing up for that?
Gays like that shit?
I did it for research purposes only for this podcast.
I immediately canceled my subscription.
You don't have to watch.
Just watch the Tom Holland movie.
You don't have to watch it.
Who do you think took backshots better?
Me or Tom?
We should get a back-to-back.
We really should get a back-to-back.
Yo, the pictures.
I ain't moan like that.
My man let a fucking moan out.
I ain't moan.
Aside, your toes curl.
You could just tell from your face, your toes were taking it.
I put sneakers on.
Yeah, they were curling off.
I didn't enjoy it.
No, it's crazy, man.
Click was quivering and shit.
You was really enjoying that shit.
Tom.
You was taking that shit.
You wanted it rough.
You wanted it forceful, but you wanted it.
It was weird.
It was a whole real life.
That was a character, bro.
That's the best shit act that I've ever seen.
I just thought of that.
This motherfucker got one lot.
But that shit, Oscar.
Nah, that's crazy, bro.
So that's exactly how you look at it.
No, you never saw dude in me.
You never saw dude in me.
Boss, can you try to find that?
Hold on.
You never saw the dude in me.
All right, this is what old Tommy did.
No, but try to find.
Oh, fuck, dude.
Come on, bro.
Dude, come on, dude.
What's going on?
Why is everything gay now?
You feel a brick on it?
Yeah, dude.
I do feel brick on it.
That scene was a little better than you, though.
And more intimate.
Like, they lock in hands.
Yo, yeah, we got it.
We got a good.
But he's just a better actor.
That's all I'm saying.
I know.
You ain't really get into it, bro.
Now they're going to say you're not gay enough.
You ain't throwing that.
It's like a drinkler.
How are you doing?
First, they saying I'm gay, then I'm not gay enough.
That's really what they're putting on you right now.
You're going to take that?
I mean, if you're going to be gay for a role, you might as well be an actor.
Yeah, I mean, don't.
How many times they shot that, bro?
Nah, he's one actor.
He's one terrible right.
I'm one terrible.
I let them know.
I had them bring the stunt double.
How many times did he ever do anything in one take?
I let them bring the stunt double in.
I did.
I was like, nah, you need a stunt double this shit right here.
I heard you was fucking him before, though.
That's crazy.
Nah, that's right.
He's got nail paws.
It's like, yo, you see what I'm saying?
This guy's getting paid to be gay.
You're doing it for the love of the game, bro.
He's paying money.
He's paying money to be gay.
You are paying other people money to make you gay, bro.
You're like jealous, man.
You wish you was up on that wall.
You wish you was grabbing.
Fuck out of here, bro.
Fuck you, Al.
Son of a bitch.
Nah, but we got to find your picture, please.
Can we put that up?
Son, we got to find it.
Can we put that up?
How that show was so bad, they took it away for free.
That's crazy.
They made the show free.
Yeah, you got the reverse Illuminati.
Yo, real talk?
They are wiping my gay from the internet.
Thank you.
Shout out you.
Shout out they.
Shout out the days out there.
Doorsaurus.
You got to get out of here.
Doing some bad shit with the vaccines and such, but you're doing pretty good stuff when it comes to me being scammed.
Son, when you said they, I thought you meant non-binary people.
And I was like, how are we coming to this?
No, no.
They are the, there's two days.
They're the people in control of everything and the people in control of everything.
I'm not trying to find it.
What was the name of that movie?
We fought it this shit.
Here's Johnny.
It was a TV.
There's Johnny.
Oh, there's Johnny.
That's sick.
It was on.
Fuck, what was that shit that got canceled?
Hulu.
No, it was Hulu.
No, Hulu bought it.
Oh.
But it was originally for this streaming service.
I forgot what it was.
They wanted you to turn the phone too.
No, no, Quibby.
What was Quibby?
Quibbing.
Quibby fucking loser ass project.
No, it's for another fucking thing.
I forgot what it was.
We're trying to find it.
We'll react to that live.
Yeah.
Anyway, what else we got going on?
Fire movie this weekend, bro.
What's your shit?
Oh, oh, I heard it was kind of mid.
Yeah, I'm not hearing the best reviews.
Yeah, you didn't watch it, dude?
No.
Oh, is this our first time talking about it since they've had sex?
Since it's been released.
Okay, here's my thing.
That was an impossible mission right there.
Wait, what was it?
I can't look and talk about this.
Mark, take it down, bro.
CISO.
Oh, CISO, yeah.
But Mark, you can keep it up, but you're getting too locked in.
You're acting a little homeschooled.
No, yeah, No, I literally wasn't.
Okay, so I didn't realize that we haven't done a pod since, yeah, Lena got twisted in.
Whoa, come on, bro.
It's a guy's wife.
You can't just say some guy's wife got her guts.
I think you can if he did it, if he orchestrated it.
You gotta be respectful.
Wait a minute, wait.
You gotta be respectful.
Yeah, we can't just say that some girl got fucking.
That's things you can't say.
You can't say.
You cannot say that.
Guys, startled.
What I'm saying is we have to be respectful here.
You can't.
This is a man's wife.
Listen.
Someone we know, friend of the show.
Exactly.
As a friend of the show, we cannot talk about how Alexander the Great expanded to Macedonian and no?
Okay.
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
You got to be respectful, dude.
Yeah.
You can't say she got a katana to her fucking.
But for real, though, how do we describe how Jason Love put the bone and bone apart when you can't say that?
We can't talk about that.
You just have to respect it for what it is.
Can we talk about her being an absolute champion?
Yo, this is what I hate.
Like, what was going on?
You hate what you hate.
No, no, no.
The internet, like, the expectations were way too high that, like, who was mid?
You thought she had a 25, he had a 25-inch dick.
Sorry, can I just have a sentence?
Responding to Graffiti00:02:55
I mean, Jesus, you don't even know what I'm going to say.
You don't even know what I'm going to say.
What I was trying to say is that that weekend, they called Barbie mid.
Oh, that was crazy.
Yeah.
She's like I've said in the past, only mid in Russia, outside of Russia.
This is one of the most beautiful women on the planet Earth.
They called her mid.
Listen, if Lena, if you were being called mid the same week that the internet calls Margo Robbie mid, take that with a grain of salt.
Take that with a grain of salt.
Do you know what I mean?
Or a pillar.
So what did Locke take?
Yeah.
Was it a pillar?
Yeah, he took a whole pillar.
He took a pill.
Take that shit with a pillar if you need to as well.
While we're being biblical on the pod.
My point is, come on, man.
Like, Margot Robbie Mid, a sex scene where Lena is taking an absolute shot.
He's thinking about his performance.
He's like, wait a minute.
If that's mid, what's the matter?
What am I doing?
What they called her mid or they called the whole video?
Both of them mid.
The whole video mid.
I don't watch porn, so maybe I'm off here.
Like, what are we expecting?
What are we expecting to happen?
Like, the dick went into the pussy, right?
This is how you know porn's too crazy.
But what do we need?
People are like, oh, there wasn't acting.
She wasn't a sister of a brother that was a boss of someone.
Can I tell you?
You need porn to be too crazy now.
Academics responding.
Bro, academics responding.
Watching live the porn and doing the play-by-play as if it was a boxing match was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire life.
She's getting dizzy.
The ref might have to come here and stop it.
Bro, what?
Can we play that?
It was fucking incredible.
I'll pull it up.
In the meantime, though, I saw this fire ad in Brooklyn speaking of the Barbie movie.
That's the whole billboard.
Oh, yeah.
The whole block.
I know.
I'm all about it.
You did a half ago.
Really?
There's some graffiti right to the right of that truck.
Yeah, why is it all white?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know anything about it.
Nuts.
Seems like a smut.
It has anything to do with me.
Graffiti artists would do that.
That's how you know we're not the only ones, though.
That's it right there, bro.
I'm actually really happy to see that foot fetishing, which is disgusting to call it a fetish.
It's the most normal thing in the universe, has become popular.
I'm happy that all these other people can now embrace what they've always loved for so long.
They put it in like Bushwood.
It's the same thing, pedophiles.
Say again?
They say the same shit.
Say the same thing about what?
With that movie, that's up.
Wait, they like Barbie?
No, the yellow movie.
Film of Freedom?
Yeah, there we go.
They like Biden.
Oh, they're happy that it's normal mindset.
They're not talking about pedophiles being too stupid.
You have to die of stupidity because people who like this fucking billboard.
Call him gay.
Call him gay.
Come on.
Good Friday Kill Story00:04:04
But you just got to go with that.
I got to get it.
You get to land.
I got to let him get it off.
He has a good point out.
There you go.
You're going to point it out.
Good.
That's a great point.
Call him gay.
He thought he had a good one.
I know he thought he had a good one because he knows that Jick wasn't going to be a good one.
He looked at him.
Yeah, Pedophiles here the same way.
He pulled a gym from the office.
That was me trying to think, like, how do I tell this shit?
Nah, but y'all weird for that.
Y'all weird people.
Nah, y'all like it, man.
It's all good.
Don't worry.
Y'all gonna get there one day.
It is what it is.
It's like Christianity.
You fight now.
Do you know what I mean?
But they put it in Bush.
They put it in here.
You fight now.
You fight now.
But one day, you're gonna need us.
You're gonna need the good Christians and Muslims too.
Bro, I can't find this academics video.
Sorry, DJ.
Fuck you.
I know.
Oh, wait.
I posted on Twitter.
Anywho, so what do we think?
What do we think?
How much do we think they make?
I think that's really what it comes down to.
That's what we need to know.
That's what the internet needs to know.
I think they charge too little.
I thought it was five bucks or something.
Yeah, I saw the website.
It's 75% off.
I was like, you can't get your wife fucked and then give a discount.
This is my wife.
We're raising the rates here.
It's Black Friday.
That was great.
I gotta get back.
Come on, give it a hit.
That's great.
Is it Black Friday?
No, dude.
You're a fucker.
I was about to say that was like a fucking unbelievably obstinate.
It's already hilarious, but I thought it was as well.
And I was like, Jesus marked.
That's fucking G.
The best movies come out of Thanksgiving, bro.
That's what it is.
That's why it's Black Friday.
Day after Thanksgiving.
Oh, is it?
Oh, wow.
We didn't.
Yeah, get driving.
We don't.
We don't.
Listen, listen.
Yo, yo.
I want you to get back so bad.
I want this get back something.
Why is this crazy?
July.
I'm not a Christian.
Me and my Muslim brothers do not celebrate.
Listen, I'm Orthodox.
I'm Orthodox.
It's not religious, yo.
It's a shopping event.
You know what I realized, though?
You know what I realized?
What did I say?
Is that wrong?
I don't understand.
Black Friday.
That Friday is a day of sales after Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
It's got nothing to do with religion.
But you're like, so common knowledge, yo.
Oh, I don't know.
No, Black Friday does have to do with religion.
That's when Jesus died and then he rises three days later.
He's trying.
I didn't know.
I didn't know it.
But it is on the Friday, right?
It isn't Good Friday.
But it is on that Friday, right?
Easter.
It's three days before Easter, bro.
Is it Sunday, Saturday?
That's Good Friday.
It's Good Friday.
But it is the same Friday or no?
No.
That's what I got to do.
To get out in a stupid comment, just get stupid at all.
You got to kill a story of the story.
You got to kill a story of the story.
I'm going to try that shit.
I'm going to try that too.
Why did you figure this out?
I'm confused here.
Good Friday is when Jesus died.
That's in April.
That's a religious day.
That's Good Friday.
Oh, Sunday.
And there's no saying.
Easter Sunday is the day he came back three days later.
This is religion.
Now it's going to be a lot of fun.
The day after Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving got nothing to do with Jesus.
Hey, did y'all know this?
This is crazy.
Hey, hey, did y'all know that Easter and Thanksgiving are different?
Hey, and do you know what's even crazier?
None of them are in July.
Neither of those holidays are now.
I just want to let everybody know in case y'all were buying your turkey.
You're the most religious person ever, bro.
You think every holiday is for Jesus.
I respect you.
I'm Orthodox.
What'd you think Fourth of July was?
I mean, Jesus is in the Pentagon.
No, that's when the Four Horsemen came.
Wait, really?
Yeah, that's what the Fourth.
That's when the Four Horsemen came, for real.
Four horsemen above Jesus.
Smooches and Kisses00:13:18
That was the gender reveal.
Oh, yeah.
Let it out.
I didn't shoot my pants.
My poops are back.
Now you shoot your pants.
That was wet.
That was wet.
That was wet back over here.
Guys don't think that I did shit.
I'm like, okay, So, anyway, how much do we think that they made?
I think they cleared a million.
I mean, that's it.
Yeah.
But their name is everywhere.
Not that much people.
Oh, okay.
Good.
They got brand equity.
Yeah.
We didn't make money, but we got brand equity.
I don't know.
I mean, as it stands right now, I mean, I purchased it because I'm not going to steal from the friend of the show.
We should donate, honestly.
But it is on Spank Bang right now for free.
That's the thing, yo.
How did you not?
I mean, that shit was on Twitter for free.
But I'm assuming that's a commercial and they're not really going after it to try to get people in a plug talk, get them into all that shit.
I think a lot of people watch that.
I mean, I wonder how many views this has right now.
But you could tell.
I can't see that shit.
I mean, this is crazy.
So, if you guys don't know what Plug Talk is, Plug Talk is basically a show that they do where Lena and Adam will interview a porn star and then they will fuck them.
Because what we want from porn actresses is their life story.
And they seem not want to drink off a little bit.
Exactly.
Or September 12th.
What the fuck is that, dude?
What was that set after that?
Yeah, it was a little dark.
But I guess that is part of what they were doing.
They had to make 10 million.
I mean, like, no?
I don't think.
I don't know, man.
That's the thing.
How many people have to buy it for $10 million?
What's the math?
How much was it?
$5 million, dude.
I know.
I shouldn't know this.
$20,000 would be $100,000.
So that'd be $200,000 at $5 a piece to get a million.
It's $2 million.
$2 million people would need to pay $5 each.
They did not.
Wow.
Now, I guess the idea is that you subscribe and you stay subscribed.
And you forget.
And you forget.
That's, I think, though.
So maybe the idea is like, if it's such a small number, I won't even go back and look at it if it was $25 immediately.
Canceling.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Hmm.
What do you guys think?
I think like a mill, probably.
Not worth it.
But yes.
Yeah, not worth it.
Yeah, not worth it.
What dollar about?
That's the thing.
Nobody wants that.
You're the only one who's not married.
So you can say what you would for your wife because you don't have a wife yet.
Fuck out of here.
Okay, what dollar amount?
We can ask.
Dove.
Oh, yeah, Dove.
How much for someone to turn your wife's guts into lasagna?
What is the price point?
And is it more or less than for you to be gay?
I'm not on this.
You guys do it.
You guys.
We can have wives, bro.
We can't answer this question.
You got this.
Because we actually have wives.
We're not going to put a number on our wives' head.
Yeah, yeah.
But we respect women.
Yeah, but it's different.
We need it.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, he's wild.
He's wild.
Yeah, Dove, for real.
Dev, why is this a problem for you?
Come on.
You have no one.
Priceless.
Jesus Christ, that shit made me feel lonely.
Yeah, Keith tried it again.
That was too named.
Keith just tried to nice her.
Why do you say that?
Why do you hate Dove?
We'll edit it and then try to nice heroes.
I just don't like that he's putting up this fight for this imaginary thing.
Why?
This imaginary thing is going to exist in.
Yeah, but then you say, hey, I didn't know you at the time.
It's obviously very different.
It's a much higher number.
I didn't know what love was.
Priceless.
I don't care about how much money.
I'm never.
That's a valid answer.
He just answered it like that.
That's all you got to say.
Miles.
You don't feel like you're that principled.
No, I didn't want this to turn on me.
Let's not do this.
Miles, what's the number?
Love is priceless, Dove.
Love is priceless.
Now they're just a copy of it.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
What's your number?
I don't have a number that my wife would get rinsed out, bro.
How much?
Okay, how much for a guy to shit in your wife's mouth?
That's more a lot of people.
Oh, I got a number for that.
What's the number?
What's the number?
Okay, look.
What you gonna say?
No, I was gonna say, let's start small.
Like, what's the number for a guy to kiss your wife?
I don't with his dick and her pussy.
No, no, you take it too far.
Girls jump too many steps.
Kiss just a kiss.
I don't want to expect.
She takes off her dress now.
Come on, Miles.
No.
None.
I wouldn't play.
I think you would go for a kiss.
Just a guy kissing.
What if she was an actress?
Never.
$1 billion.
$1 billion.
No, we're talking.
We're talking.
There we go.
Okay, $1 billion a kiss with Tom.
I mean, you got to get in there, girl.
$1 billion a kiss with Tumblr.
We're on the board.
We're on the board.
Have you talked about that?
Would you ever kiss a woman in a film?
Oh, he flipped it on your face.
I cannot do that.
There you go, that's it.
That was crazy.
Oh, wow.
Let's go play.
Sex scenes?
Yeah.
Yeah, he already has.
Intimacy format.
Yeah.
DAC!
Yeah, yeah.
Ralph, is this too hard for you?
No.
What do you mean?
Like, would I do it?
Yeah, why not?
I mean, it's going to piss my wife off, but yeah, of course.
I mean, I'd piss her off, but I mean, she'd probably like it not to be that.
You know what I mean?
But if a girl's hot, if she's an ugly fucking oaf, then no, I'm going to say I have to respect my wife.
You know what I mean?
It's going to make you a bumpy.
I think it was supposed to be fat right there.
It was hot.
I'm not going to do it a fat ogre.
Right?
You know what I mean?
What if you were had to or you couldn't do the movie and it's with your hero and you had to suck a hot girl's toe?
Wait, As part of the movie or just as a part of the movie.
Yeah.
You got to do a tank.
Are you kidding him with a good time?
I'm going to say it's happening.
Because maybe, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd have to suck a hot girl's toe.
Yeah, like liquor going down her foot.
I'd never do that.
I'm not into that.
I don't want to suck it.
I'll kiss it a lot.
But would you have?
I'll kiss it a lot.
I'll just cover it.
I'll cover it in smooches and kisses.
I'll do that.
I'll cover it in smooches and kisses.
Would you give it a barfly kiss?
No, I've definitely covered it in smooches and kisses and then rubbed my fingers in between the toes where the webbing is.
I'll do that.
Like, I'll definitely do that.
You said webbing.
I'll definitely dap it up and snap one time with a foot.
I'll definitely do that.
Cultural purposes only.
Yeah.
That's cool.
For a movie, obviously.
You had to.
Yeah, but not if it's some orc bitch fuck.
You know, I'm not going to do that.
That'd be disgusting.
So I won't do that.
Oh, you could just have your girl be a stunt double for the actress.
And then everyone wins.
Yeah.
That's perfect.
Yeah, everyone.
My wife is a very good person.
She's more private.
No, no, no.
That'd be better.
I'm also not against stunt double.
So if you want to get some more stunt doubles in on the action, if you have an identical twit.
Yeah, I don't know.
What would you guys would you not do a kiss scene?
No, I would.
I did.
Yeah, Mark did.
I'm so glad you said it.
For like a fucking indie movie?
Wait, what?
Yeah.
Oh, that's cheating, dude.
Dude, if it's not.
No, that's cheating.
My love interest, dude.
What a great loophole that is.
Oh, my.
My love interests.
Dave, I had to do it.
There's no fucking cheating.
No, this is I was dating.
This is in college.
I don't care.
Oh, you're dating her?
I'm married to my wife, dude.
No, you're dating her.
Or you guys are boyfriend and girlfriends.
We were dating in college.
What does that mean?
I mean, we were always.
In a relationship?
Yeah, we were hardly.
We're boyfriend and girlfriend.
Yes.
Okay, you're together in college.
And you cheated on her for your dreams of fame and success.
Dude, yeah.
I had to do it for this scene.
How do we know if the two characters even like each other?
Fucking Adam, 2018.
This is crazy, bro.
This is crazy.
Okay, was she hot?
Yeah.
Miles?
Defiling the sanctity of you.
Yeah.
I mean, my girl's way harder, dude.
Like, not even close, like, way harder.
But this girl wasn't, you know, she was fine.
But my girl's way hard.
Did you get bricky?
I felt a brick on her.
No, you didn't.
A mild Lego break.
It was a Lego break, but it was a break, dude.
Did you really get a break?
No, I was so nervous.
It was crazy.
Was the scene?
It was terrifying.
Can I tell you something why it is cheating for sure?
No, son.
I did.
I said, No, you can't tell me.
I did an NYU.
You didn't make no money from it.
Like a college movie or whatever.
And the girl was the director, and she casted me.
And in the movie, I had to hook up with somebody else or something.
Oh, no, this story is falling apart.
Oh, fuck, that was a dude.
I forgot.
No, no, no, no.
I don't think you can tell them.
No, I can't.
I had to hook up with this girl in the movie, but like, I'd walk in the door and like pick her up and like grab her.
And then we're like kissing and put her on the fucking kitchen island and shit.
It was pretty intense.
And then the duress, the director reached out to me to suck my dick.
This fucking woman, bro.
This fucking fucking bragging now.
Dude, this can you believe the fucking ball?
He too.
He too.
She saw me just get into the role and throw this bra up on the fucking tile island, tongue and down.
And she got so fucking turned on, she wanted that shit.
And then she sucked my dick, bro.
That's crazy, dude.
That's crazy.
And what'd you do?
You denied it?
So you, you know, I was like, whoa, What is happening, dude?
What is happening?
This won't affect our professional relationship at all, will it?
And she was like, was she a good director?
Yeah, she was.
Was she more of like a key crit?
No, she was, yeah, she was fine.
I realize now after telling that story has nothing to do with you cheating.
Yeah, it sounds like you were just bragging.
Yeah, I thought that she was also in the movie.
And then I realized it was a totally different girl, which made it even more abusive to me.
Are you dramatized from it?
I'm a little bit.
I don't trust directors, dude.
That is abusive.
I don't trust them, bro.
I don't trust him.
That one guy who gave me the role in the movie and it made me fucking gay out of nowhere.
That's the same one he pinched your butt, right?
No, that was a different.
I've just been abused.
Yo, I'll be honest.
Thank God I was old enough to choose to be gay in Hollywood because if I was just a young kid, 100% they're diddling kids in Hollywood.
100%.
Sound of freedom and sweet.
Come on, check it out.
You know what I mean?
If I just look at the moments I've had in Hollywood and the percentage of gay shit that's happened to me that wasn't supposed to, and I don't even want to act.
Imagine you wanted to.
Imagine you're like, I'm dedicating myself to it.
Bro, I got that sitcom.
And then the guy calls me and he goes, yo, you got to be gay or your character's gay.
And I was like, what?
Think about that, bro.
Was there any party that was like, I'm just not going to do it?
No.
Immediately.
Voluntarily.
Not at all.
Not immediately.
I've never seen a more excited for a role in my life.
I remember this.
I don't want to act, but the guy calls you and tells you you got to be gay.
Yes.
Can I tell you what the guy said?
I go, I go, what?
And then he goes, he goes, and I swear to God, I've told you guys this before.
And he goes, yeah, but you're not.
He says that.
He goes, yeah, but you're not.
And I go, what do you mean?
Like, he goes, yeah, he doesn't even really know he's gay.
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
And then it's like, yeah, you're not going to see blah, blah, blah.
And then I walked in.
There was some fucking crazy scene.
And I was like, nah, that's not happening.
There was one scene where, like, yeah, basically, we want you walking into the back room with four dudes.
And I was like, no.
I was like, no.
I was like, where's this in the script?
I was like, why are you fucking gay in this up for no reason?
Like, what's going on?
And then he's like, in the bathroom scene.
He's like, yeah, the guy this.
And I was like, nah.
And you didn't do the scene with four dudes, right?
No, I said, no.
What bothered you?
They cut away from it too quickly?
Was that bothering me?
You give me a line at least.
It was just weird.
Like, I thought that, to be honest with you, when I said it to them, I was just like, you're just making a character gay for like diversity?
Because this shit takes place back in the day where white people didn't hang out with black people.
And you're like, just make me black.
Make me black.
Then it can be diverse.
Come on, bro.
Please.
Make me black.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I understand why you were so bad.
They gave one guy a crutch, bro.
They gave one guy the palsy.
Because to make him more diverse, but keep him white.
The junior?
They gave him the wall.
They gave him wall.
That's great.
But not in the voice.
But they gave him crutches and he would walk into the writer's room.
And he fucked up.
Say what?
Is that the guy you had sex with?
No, no, no.
My guy was a street dude.
He liked me, bro.
I really do not understand why you were so upset.
When you was saying, like, they only want to hire gay people, they wouldn't hire a straight white male.
You remember when you were complaining about that shit?
Like, I understand.
Because they made it gay.
That's the annoying thing, though.
They don't actually want gay people.
That's why it was stupid.
I was like, if you want to make a gay story, have a gay story.
Show what happens to gay people.
Macaulay Dick Life00:03:04
Tell that.
That's cool.
Have a gay person.
Cast them.
Cast a gay person.
Or don't catch a gay dude, but tell a gay story.
I don't care.
Acting's acting.
I don't think you need the fucking cripple retarded guy to play Walt Jr.
Like, this is acting.
We can act these roles, but at least let the story be from someone who's authentically gay or authentically fucking trans, authentically black, whatever.
When you just sprinkle that shit on top, that's when you're just abusing it.
You're using it to pacify the people who are saying Hollywood's not diverse, and it still ain't.
You know?
I mean, I play that role way better than any gay guy could.
We know that for a fact.
We know that for a fact.
Very missing.
Yeah.
You know?
Damn.
All I'm trying to say is if that happened to me, imagine what's happened to the children's.
Yes.
To the kids.
Think about the children's, bro.
You don't think that...
What's his name?
Macaulay Culkin?
Oh, Miles, come on, bro.
I just saw Miles smell his armpit.
God damn it, dog.
So you know that shit is crazy.
Come on.
That shit is crazy.
Don't put his own money.
If you smell some shit, were you the only one around?
I thought Marty was sticking it up over here.
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Yo, you don't think Macaulay got diddled it up?
Diddled Parents Vibe00:07:21
What?
People act like it's Michael Jackson's the only one that did it.
He was destroyed by Hollywood, not Michael Jackson.
Or both.
Or both.
But the fact that there is no onus on Hollywood at all.
Yeah.
It's all on the dead guy.
Yeah.
Oh, he's not here.
So we don't know.
Exactly.
I mean, I was talking to you about this on the phone, but like I've spoken to directors and they've said this about great actors.
They're like, they're boring.
I go, what do you mean?
Like, I've heard people say this about like some of the most famous fucking actors.
They're like, yeah, there's boring.
There's nothing inside.
And I go, what do you mean?
Directors saying this?
He goes, they go, that's the brilliance.
They can fill themselves up with anything, but they're really empty.
Like when you go out to dinner with them, they're just boring.
But when you, they can put whatever they want in there and then become that.
And it is like a miracle watching them do it.
And I was thinking, I was like, yo, I wonder if this is why Hollywood actors, when they get political, become these stereotypes of political people because they're just filling themselves.
Yeah.
They're filling themselves with it.
And you see it on both sides, right?
You see like the super left-wing people, they just become these archetypes of what a liberal person is, saying all the same, what is it, this sentences, saying all the same beliefs, et cetera.
They're just regurgitating the same thing.
And then when they're on the right, they do the exact same thing.
They are just playing that role.
And I thought, okay, that's as an adult.
That's what you do.
And maybe as an adult, you can handle some of these more difficult roles.
But if you're a kid and you're inserting these roles into this kind of empty vessel, and that's what makes this young kid a really good actor.
Informative years.
Informative years.
Like you're on fucking law and order playing this kid that was raped.
Hey, imagine what it's like being fucking raped and you're seven years old.
Like that's criminal to do.
And like, what does that, what are the effects of that on a kid's psyche?
Like, of course they're all fucked up.
Of course they're all wonky.
Of course they're fucking on drugs or like suicidal and shit when they get.
What about the kids who play like Disney characters?
Like Disney's very protective of that brand.
You're not going to be doing any wild shit whatsoever.
I mean, I mean, yeah, Disney's different, but like Dan Schneider, remember that whole shit?
Oh, he's a fucking idea.
Yeah, but then he was with Nickelodeon, so it was different.
Like there's all this like weird shit.
There are these videos he had Ariana Grande doing that are like fucking weird.
Yeah.
Was she Nickelodeon or Nickelodeon?
Yeah.
But it's just like weird shit.
And I'm like, maybe, I don't know where it happens, but if it happens with Nickelodeon, I'm like, that's a big brand.
And he was like one of the main guys there.
And like, there's weird stuff in the movies.
And then there's people off that talked about it.
I think the girl from Ike Harley talked about it.
I don't want to put it on her if she didn't.
But yeah, like just creepy, insane shit with the kids.
That's the thing.
Like, we say it, and I'm obviously joking around, but like in my very limited experience in TV or filmmaking, I was put in multiple situations thrown at me, not really sure that were kind of weird.
And I'm an adult, so I don't give a fuck.
And it's like, yeah, I do want to be in this movie.
And I think that's what you're supposed to do in a career.
I want to be in this TV show, that whatever.
And I think that's what you're going to do, but I don't really need it that much.
But imagine you're like, the only way I'll be able to make it.
I'm out here.
I'm sleeping in my car is if I get on this show.
And then they ask you to do a little bit of a weird thing, which we know for a fact that they do because they did it to me.
And it's not, I'm not like some victim.
I don't give a fuck.
Like it was, yeah, okay, the character's gay, whatever.
I don't care.
I'll do it.
But imagine acting that I have a kid or these other people.
They're doing it in a fucking kids thinking about it.
Kids think about this.
Their parents are probably intentional.
Telling them to do it.
To do it the whole time, not even just in that moment.
All the way up to the auditions and everything.
Oh, we got to get this.
This would be so great.
So, when you're in that moment, even if the parents aren't there to say, Hey, go do it, which they probably would be, you're like, Well, they are, they put a lot of pressure on me to get this opportunity.
I can't fuck it up.
Okay, you're saying parents, like, I think a lot of these kids are probably come from like single-parent houses 100%.
Like, that's from the scandal in Boston with all the priests that were fucking all the kids.
They would like selectively go for kids that didn't have like a dad.
And they had a mom that was working a lot, and they were like, Hey, just be around the church, you can be altered boy, we'll give you structure.
Yeah, it's even more insidious because they're going after the most vulnerable kids.
And I think that's what's happening.
With the church example, I'm not even just saying this pick on you.
God, you're giving them God, like the most powerful, the most salvation-giving thing on earth, and then you're just fucking ruining them like that.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Oh, it's so fucked.
And it's happening with these people where it's like, Yo, you can set your family up for life.
Your mom works so hard, but what if she didn't have to work?
Yeah, all you got to do is just hang out with me and not tell anyone.
Get it, probably.
Shitty fucking still going on in the church, or did they like stop it?
I think it's still worse.
Yeah, I mean, they try to stop it, but like evil people try to get it.
I mean, you'll hear little things.
I feel like there would be more eyes on it now.
Oh, there are.
It's harder.
Yeah.
I'm sure it's much harder.
I think parents are much more like observant with their kids.
Like, my mom specifically was like, You can't be an altar boy.
Oh, seriously.
Oh, wow.
And like, we were so involved with the church, but she was like, Yeah, no, that's what's so I think more parents are being observant, but like, yeah, Boy Scouts are still getting diddled.
Students are still getting diddled by the teachers.
Like, I mean, they're, yeah, horrible people exist in all avenues.
And they're going to find positions of power to fucking exploit.
Yes, especially if those positions of power are, I don't want to say it's easy to be a priest, but like it's harder to run Amazon.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, or it's harder to become the top exec for Pixar or something like that.
You get God's authority and you can probably get some access and power within like three, four years.
Yeah.
Something like that.
And you're infallible.
No one's really going to come looking for you.
Maybe now it's different.
And you're already not following the rules.
So the rules don't really bother you that much.
Like most people don't want to be a priest because like, I don't get no pussy.
I got to sacrifice all these things.
I got to do.
Wow, that's a lot to give up.
But if you know that you're going into it for nefarious reasons, right?
You're like, well, I'm not going to give up that other shit anyway.
Yeah.
I will say it actually probably, I think it's gone down at least personally because like when I was going to Bible study a lot more in high school, I would hang out with priests.
I would hang out with Father Ben and I would do like a confession with him and he'd be like, let's just like walk around the church or whatever.
Like let's just be outside.
Because he was like, this, like, it's just a weird dynamic if like we're alone privately.
I was like 17 at the time.
But he's like, it just isn't good for the church.
The church, like optically, like I just would be more comfortable if we're just out in public.
Yeah.
And I just think more priests are doing that.
I think he thought you wanted to.
Yeah, I know.
How do I get off?
How do I give off that vibe?
Damn.
How do I give off of that vibe?
17.
You're still going on one-on-one stuff.
I'm not flirting.
You get close to me.
I got flirty.
I'm curious.
He's like, why does this motherfucker ask me all these questions, bro?
You're not that flirty.
Why are you still in Bible study 17?
I'm studying.
Do you play baseball, Father?
You're a really fast pitcher.
I'd like to be your captain.
I'm just saying, dude.
No, I wouldn't go for him.
I don't think I would.
I don't know.
You got to be a Nickelodeon kid.
Oh, God, no.
No?
Nah, his mom.
Orlando.
His mom wants to be part of the making money.
But there's another perfect example where, like, when there is an industry that is so dominant in the town that you live in, it's no different than like Alabama, Tuscaloosa, with like football.
Yeah.
Right?
QAnon Sex Trafficking00:05:59
Like, when one industry dominates the city, it's very hard not to get caught up in that and not to be like, yeah, I would like to be on Disney.
I would like to be in the movies.
Or when you're in LA growing up, you're like, I would like to be part of this industry because the whole hierarchy and power structure of the people that live in this city is driven toward this one thing.
The most important people are in that industry.
So that must be the most important thing.
And I don't think that Hollywood is this organization to fuck children or like drink their blood or whatever the conspiracy theorists think.
But I do think 100% that some horrendous stuff is happening when people have tons of power and there are people that are desperate around those people with power.
Because the abuse is just so easy at that point, right?
I was rereading The Godfather, and then there's a scene with the producer.
And in the book, I think they lived out of the movie, but in the book, the producer that they cut the head off, whatever, leaving his, but he is like, they show like a girl coming in.
They talk about a girl going into his office and then walking out and like walking differently.
And then the mafia guy is like, oh, that's despicable.
Infant them, whatever the fuck.
But they're talking about in the 60s.
This is happening.
So they were talking about it in a book in the 60s.
They're still talking about it now.
It's happened.
It's not like just some Hollywood trope that was in the background for 50 years.
Are you going to see the Sound of Freedom?
Oh, no.
I'm not against it, but that's something you could wait to come to a streamer.
Yeah, like I'll see it when it's streaming.
I don't know if that's IMAX.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but I don't know if you need to be IMAX.
I can smell the rape.
This is the awesome thing.
It's on TV.
I got nothing else to do.
It's already on.
Let's just sit here and see if it's good.
Yeah.
Going to buy.
It's making money, but apparently people are like, I don't know, man.
That's the thing.
If you get people.
It's got good reviews, though, the rotten tomatoes and shit.
Yeah, but people are like buying four tickets and then just giving them away.
That's part of their marketing campaign.
Like Hollywood doesn't want this movie to succeed, so you have to make it succeed, which is brilliant.
That is.
I mean, these guys are just.
Oh, they've politicized the movie in a great way.
Yeah.
And like all the political figures are rewarding that politicization of it.
Yeah.
Because it all feeds into their narrative, too.
Exactly.
If you give people a boogeyman and make them buy something, I mean, they'll buy whatever.
Also, if you can be heroic, like you're heroic for seeing this movie and continuing to promote it.
And it's the perfect movie because not only is it against left-wing ideals, it's also I don't know.
The left doesn't want this movie to succeed.
Oh, because Jim Coviesol is a polarizing guy.
And I think the director has QAnon, has espoused QAnon beliefs.
I think the criticism of the movie could come from the fact that the girl that it's based on, and again, who knows?
I think Vice wrote an article about this or something.
There's no from this reporter, and you know how biased fucking Vice is, but from this reporter, they're saying that there was really no connection, at least in the case, or from the girl mentioned in the case between her and Tom Ballard's group.
Whereas in the movie, it seems as if he is the one who frees her.
Where the girl, I guess, was liberated here in New York.
And when she was a little bit older and that kind of stuff.
Now, that's not to say that like a movie about sex trafficking shouldn't be made and it can't bring awareness.
But maybe when you go based on a true story and there's a lot of separation between the true story, you know, you're creating an opportunity for people to be critical.
Yeah.
That's not to say that it's a justifiable criticism, but I'm sure in his position, he's like, well, we just want to shine light in the best way possible to this horrific thing that happens.
So we might have changed some details.
But the point is that people know that this kind of stuff happens all the time and we have to put a stop to it.
You know, whereas the detractors are going to say, oh, you lied about all this shit to sensationalize it so you can look more like a hero.
And it's a weird position to be anti-a movie shining a light on child sex trafficking.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't know if you ever want to play that position.
I think what they're afraid of is, let's say, they're assuming this guy has QAnon beliefs and is a QAnon guy, conspiracy theorist.
This lends credence to that conspiracy theory.
So even if this is okay, there will be more QAnon, the conspiracy theory movies made because this is successful.
Yeah, I think.
Like a gateway drug.
I guess, but like, even beyond QAnon, if you're making conspiracy theory movies, once you get to lizard people, I think we're all going to be like, no, I'm not doing that.
But also, like, that'd be like saying Me Too is a gateway to like Hollywood, like anti-Semitic, lizard people conspiracies.
Like, oh, like, Hollywood is controlled by people.
Make that connection because I like it.
I'm just saying, like, oh, Hollywood's controlled by like a group of people that are trying to exploit the people that are within it, specifically women to like degrade them in order to give them roles and that they're not actually trying to create the best art.
And then could that lead someone to be like, oh, Hollywood is full of who runs Hollywood?
Oh, is it Jews that run Hollywood?
Oh, are they lizards?
Are they evils?
So you're saying it's slippery slope shit.
Yeah, like, which I agree with you.
I just don't think you could say like a movie about child sex trafficking could lead the thing about the star, Kvizel, how he kind of.
Yeah, apparently, I'd have to look up his exact quote, but apparently he was at like a talk or a conference.
It was like a Comic-Con type thing.
And he was mentioning that the director couldn't be there because he was like off, like, he was basically like off fighting the good fight, trying to like stop pedophiles, something like that.
And they're trying to stop the pedophiles from using adrenochrome, which adrenochrome is like a big like buzzword within like the conspiracy sex trafficking community that they're basically like terrifying children that trying to like drink their blood in order to like get some type of positive effect from it.
So he like used that word specifically, which I think is like now feeding into the people that are interested in that.
Catholics Leftist Liberals00:14:28
And is that the only thing that he said?
He said some kind of thing.
He had a history of some.
Yes yeah, he's had some things, but I think specifically related to the movie.
It was that, that quote.
But so he did the movie with.
He did Passion Of The Christ.
Passion Of The Christ, he's Jesus apparently.
Yeah, he is Jesus.
That's crazy.
I didn't see it, Jc.
Oh, you didn't see Passion Of The Christ.
I saw that with Dove.
Yeah, when we were in Santa Barbara, I was crying bawling, crying.
We had a movie and what did Dove do?
Uh he, he slipped out of there real quick.
Oh really, he felt a little guilty.
I'm surprised.
Why didn't you see that?
I would think I was like young when it came out.
I was young when it came out and then I just never got around.
It's not Catholic, I said actually no, I think it is super Catholic.
I think the reality is I didn't realize that the Catholics are real.
Just like a phony religion, like it was, just like a phony functions of Christianity.
Please explain yeah well, I mean, the real Christians are the orthodox Christians.
Okay, that makes sense.
Orthodox, it just says it in the name.
You know what I mean.
Well, the first church, the first church built by the Roman Empire was, do you know?
Be serious, like that's really the name of the church, the Singular Catholic World.
Bro Sound Of Freedom out this weekend.
He just won off nothing.
No, i'm saying i'm asking you a question.
Do you guys know which one it was?
No, are you asking?
You guys don't know, but he should know this is a person who's familiar with religion and familiar with his god.
You should know, the first church built knowing An empire that spread the religion.
They got enough to do that.
All right, I'm back on.
I'm back.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, you would think you would know the first church built, right?
By, I mean, the empire that spread the religion around the world.
Right?
Like, what is it?
But was that the first church that was built after Christ died?
No, of course not.
But those weren't really churches that were built, right?
They were doing it in like caves and shit.
They're high.
They're a collection of people, bro.
100%.
100%.
So when it becomes valid, when it becomes real, when it becomes official by my man Constantine, where was it?
Obviously, Constantinople, Hagia Sophia, the first church, Orthodox church.
Became Orthodox after the schism.
No.
Yes.
You guys became Catholic after the schism.
They were always Orthodox.
That's what they would say.
Ooh.
That's what they would say.
Ooh.
They became Orthodox.
Ooh.
You know what falls apart almost immediately?
What?
That Western part of the Roman Empire.
That Catholic part.
You know what's stuck around for another thousand years?
That Orthodox Christianity.
You know what's still around that area right now?
That Orthodox Christianity.
Didn't change their dates.
Didn't move that shit around.
And who's who runs it?
God.
Muslims.
God.
Got taken over by Muslims, bro.
Honestly?
Look at you.
Real, recognized, real.
They didn't take over Rome.
I'm saying Orthodox gave into the Muslims, bro.
They thought, yo, you guys are better.
They look at the Muslims.
They say, you guys have the supreme faith.
Whereas the Roman Catholics in the West.
They're still a delusional.
They held it on, dude.
France did not.
I thought the church.
I think what the Catholics did brilliantly is they had adapted the religion in a brilliant way.
And because of that, it might not be as authentic, but it might be more palatable for mass consumptions.
I'm going to sound like religion dates and shit.
I don't know enough to say.
But there's like the biggest difference in religion.
That is true.
Like Vatican II diluted a lot of Catholic teaching.
There was like, it had to be in Latin, like the priest would be facing the altar, and then all of a sudden the priest turned around, it became in English.
A lot of things got like diluted.
So even like die-hard Catholics are probably more Orthodox than like yeah, than people would think.
I think in the Christian Orthodox, I mean I'm obviously busting balls to row at Mark and Catholics, but just because I learned one new thing and I like to act like I know shit.
Just step with another finger gun.
Okay, wow.
But like, for example, I think in the Christian Orthodox Church, only bishops need to be celibate.
I think everybody else can have like a wife, even if you're like part of the church.
That's a good rule.
Y'all should adopt that one.
Well, I think they could.
I think you guys flipped that somewhat recently.
What?
The fact that the priests need to be celibate?
That wasn't always that case.
Oh, maybe.
I don't know exactly when that got changed.
I think that changed later on.
Now it is, but I think that wasn't from the beginning.
But what the Pope says is essentially law for Catholics, right?
So Catholics.
Now that Francis is like kind of pro-gay, are y'all pro-gay?
Now it depends.
Yeah, right.
No, the Pope has to speak ex-cathedra.
That's like church teaching.
So he has to speak like basically with all confirmation of the bishops for it to be church doctrine.
And that's only happened like four times in the past like 150 years.
They're getting to build a pass unanimously.
Yeah, basically.
Whereas like the priests could just be saying wild shit.
Like there's been popes that like people said that like were women.
There's been popes like had wives and concubines and shit.
So like there's been popes that have done crazy stuff, but like the pope will basically lead the church, but it has to be with all the bishops approved.
Especially back in the day, the pope was a political figure.
You were like the head of like the Vatican states.
So you were also like an army general.
You had the Swiss guard on your side.
Yeah, like they was fucking people up and shit.
And it was like political moves too.
Like I think the, have you guys heard of the Medici family?
Yeah.
I've heard of it.
You heard about there was like a prominent family in Florence during the Renaissance.
Yeah, yeah.
They were like big money.
They ran all the art, right?
Rockefellers of, yeah, and bankers too.
But, but they, but yeah, they commissioned all that beautiful art and everything that you see.
And, but they got some Medicis as popes.
Like, that was like full infiltration of a dynastic family.
Catholics were the first Jews, bro.
Talk about what it is.
Did people like, oh, Jews run the world?
It's like, no, no, no.
Catholics were the first ones that were secretly running everything behind the scenes.
So that's the other thing that's kind of fire.
It's like, we don't give Catholics enough credit for that.
We need that, bro.
We don't have to do that.
Jews built the whole float.
They do.
Catholics ranch.
Secretly, behind the scenes.
So did they figure out?
So having I fell off?
Fell off.
Damn.
Got by.
God damn.
Did they fall off or was it like?
So I'm looking at this shit like, I guess there's still empires and the British have an empire, but it was more colonial in the empire.
It's like, hey, we're just going to go over there and I guess take your shit.
I don't know exactly how empires were in the Ottoman age or the Roman age.
In my understanding, it was, yo, you're part of us and we're going to run shit over here too.
And we're going to have our people over here as well.
I don't know exactly.
Whereas I wonder if the Catholic Church and other churches did like a religious, have like a religious empire and a religious colonization, right?
Where it's like, we don't need to go there and run shit and figure out your laws and everything.
We'll be your God and you'll do everything that we say because we are God.
And your king will need to fuck with us because if he don't fuck with us, then we'll turn his people against.
Like there was an easier way to rule the world.
Yeah, you need theocracies before the internet.
You need that down.
Because you need some type of like overarching omniscient power to keep people in check.
And it used to be the monarchies.
Yeah, but even the monarchies, a lot of them were ran religiously, right?
Like they would be realized they would work together.
And then King Henry is the one that broke off.
It was like, no, I'm stopping my own church.
These motherfuckers weren't letting me divorce these bitches.
Yeah, exactly.
Thomas Moore, who I'm named after.
Oh, really?
He was the one that was like, nah, you can't do it.
And he got beheaded for it.
Yeah, that's my.
But anyway, yeah, but that's like they, you need theocracy in order to like control people because you can't reach all these like faraway.
Yeah, you need the fear of God.
That's why they call it the obiate of the masses.
And then you need the internet.
And then once the internet comes around, people are more interconnected.
You have like radio and shit like that.
You have ways to connect and sort of surveil people and keep people in check in large distances.
So now we can get rid of theocracy is less important to separate churches.
Theocracies.
You just need podcasts.
Theocracy is a problem.
That's why you look at places like China where they like squash religion.
Because they're like, we don't need anybody beefing with us.
We don't need you thinking you're going to get your salvation from them.
You get it from here.
So not interesting.
That's why you can see the squashing of religion right now, probably, because it's like, hey, you're getting in the way.
Stop making these people do what you say when we might need them to do some shit.
But yeah, what an interesting time.
And I wonder if maybe the Catholic Church did that better than anybody else, where they were like, okay, we have so much power and so much control.
We have to make sure that we don't abuse it to the point where the monarchies want to remove us from the power.
So we have to work with them, but at the same time, that we have to bestow the beauty of, you know, loving God and Jesus in their lives.
And they need to get joy from this and continue to do it.
It can't just be fear, or else the next religion that's cool will come around and then people will jump on that one.
It's like a really interesting.
God, I'd love to read something about how they're politically navigating this new world.
Like how the popes are sitting down with their cardinals and going, okay, here we go.
We're spreading it, but we're doing it not by force necessarily, like back in the Crusades, but by hope.
Like I'm trying to think.
Yeah, hope is their dope.
Yeah, that's the drug.
We just are dope.
Just give them all.
Here in the um in America, there's like a group within the conservative party that they're like they're outwardly saying, Hey, we're Christian conservatives, where it's like they're tying now like their political views with Christ, like the teachers of Christ.
But it's like now they're outwardly saying before it needed to be like separation of church and state.
Now they're like, No, no, no, all the things we're going to pass is in conjunction with our religious beliefs.
That shit is dangerous, and it's supposed to be separation of church and state in our country.
But you know, what's really interesting is the conservatives that don't subscribe to the religious beliefs are really just what it is, uh, libertarians, yeah, where it's like they're just the fiscal conservatives.
And it's just interesting to see these two groups of conservatism rising in prominence where it's like you're just seeing what people value in their conservative doctrines.
It's like, listen, we want low taxes and God, we want low taxes, I don't care about God, we want low taxes, we want no government interference, but it's interesting to see them start to separate, and I think they're less powerful when they're separate, yeah, of course, yeah, and then it's dividing the party, yeah, because before they were all kind of on the same page, and then a lot of people, I think, I think a lot of liberals are finding their way to being conservative, but also don't want to, they're like, well, I want a paylist, exactly what you said.
Well, I'm liberal, I want gay people to get married, I want you to have all your rights, but like, fuck taxes.
And so, and then also they're seeing this kind of liberal thing where it's like, oh, if you don't agree with everything we agree with, then you're not us.
So they're like, all right, cool.
I'm a conservative, but I'm not that cathed.
I'm not that Christian conservative.
That's weird.
Y'all had that.
So I think maybe that's why libertarianism is rising.
I think they're mainly like coming from the left.
What's the Democratic version of that?
What's the liberal version of that?
I feel like we don't have a movement for the Democrats that is branded.
Right now, the liberals are, if you are not completely with us, you are not us.
I think there's the loudest voice.
I would say moderate liberals.
I would say liberalism and then leftism would be like the distinction.
That's interesting.
Like liberalism basically meaning like you are tolerant.
Leftism is I'm intolerant of intolerance.
Yeah.
Wow.
I think it's the other way.
Like leftism would be like, I'm on like for social reform.
Like we got to get universal health care.
Like we got to help people out, like get housing for everyone.
But like, yeah, if you say, you know, like if you call something retarded, like you're not a bad person.
And like, there's a lot of comedians that identify as like leftist.
Whereas like liberal, and this, again, this is like a debated definition, but liberal would be like, hey, we need like, yes, queen.
We need more like diversity in Hollywood.
We need all this stuff.
I think those are the opposite.
I think those are the exact opposite.
A leftist is the extreme version of me.
And liberal is like, yeah, I just vote Democrat.
I'm liberal.
I think gay people should be able to get married.
I don't care if you're a drag queen or whatever.
Moderate liberals.
Like moderate liberals are kind of what you're describing.
Yeah, but anytime you put dist at the end, it's kind of extreme to me.
Fascist, racist, leftist.
But we don't have a thing for liberals where they brand themselves.
I am a leftist or whatever.
I don't hear that term like I hear Christian conservative.
Which is on the conservative.
Southern Democrat, correct?
Dixiecrats.
Oh, yeah.
That's probably a similar thing.
In the 80s, I think Reagan was a Southern Democrat before he was a Republican.
I might be wrong, but I know.
70s.
70s.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I mean, he was a Hollywood fucking Democrat until he ran.
Yeah.
But I think there was a term Southern Democrat that was like sort of right, the more right of left.
And then there was no Reagan was ever a Democrat.
Was he?
He was.
Interesting.
But was that a function of just being in Hollywood?
I don't know.
Like being an actor?
Like I think Hassan Piker swirling around different definitions and left Democrat and Republican have changed polls so many times in history.
It's just I think Hassan Piker would consider himself a leftist, my understanding.
Yeah, and I would say he's pretty extreme in his leftist, yeah.
But mostly on like financial and like fiscal policies.
And also like, I would say racial and change progressively.
I don't think he's like so like socially radical on those ideas.
Like I think like he would come on here and like joke with us.
I think he would joke, yeah.
But I also think that he like believes very strongly about all those things and there's no wiggle room on his beliefs whatsoever.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of like Sam Cedar or something like would consider themselves like a leftist.
I don't know.
Destiny might be a leftist.
That's the guy that went on PBD's podcast, right?
Sam Cedar?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, And so that's the way I understand it.
Like, I think that I don't think that Hassan would be tolerant of beliefs that even if they're like, for example, someone's religious beliefs, if he found them intolerant.
And that's, I think, leftist.
Sexual Meow Dogs00:09:34
Yeah.
So if there were some Muslim beliefs or there's some Christian beliefs that went against some of his leftist beliefs, I think he'd be like, yeah, you got to change that.
Religion is antiquated.
It's some goofy shit you believe in.
You got to get that the fuck out of here.
Where I think a liberal, if they're actually being a liberal, they'd be like, yeah, I don't agree with you, but I'm open to your different lifestyle.
And I have to accept you for that.
I think conservatives, it might have ended up backfiring, but for a long time, they could just tie themselves to religion and then get a lot of votes that way and swing some elections.
And now I think it's becoming divided to the point that it might fracture the party.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm talking out of my ass to a degree, but it just seems like libertarian and Christian conservatives are like, these are different things now.
Very different things.
Do you want to talk about this Tamagotchi girlfriend trend?
Yeah, what is this?
This is bizarre.
It's very strange.
It blew up over the weekend.
Yeah.
Please explain.
So basically, I got to figure out who exactly started it.
I'm pulling up a video here.
So basically, these girls will go on live and people will pay to send them emojis and then they're reacting as if they are an NPC, like a non-playable character.
They're just like.
We need sound for it.
Yeah.
Yes, yes.
Yes, I've seen this screen.
It's so good.
Yes, Ice cream's so good.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ice cream's so good.
Yes, yes, yes.
Meow, meow.
Yes, Take it, yes, yes.
Meow, meow, hit.
Thank you.
Yes, Oh, thank you, baby.
This is.
So it's like sort of like annexing like anime culture, acting as an NPC, people giving them stuff, and then them reacting depending on what the thing that's given to them is.
Yeah.
Kids, go outside, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's fucking weird to get money.
Shouts to the girls, though, because they don't get naked.
They don't do anything like that's really...
You could tell your kids this, and it's fucking weird, but you could be like, I made this girl, I looked it up, she made $125,000.
How sad would you be if your mom had a video of that?
I thought about this, though.
I mean, that's a porn.
It's way worse, or on a fans, it's way worse.
But like, mom, really, you was doing this?
I thought about this, though.
I thought of, maybe it's just like an acting role.
Like, I went to a haunted house one time, and I remember thinking, these guys are so into playing these fucking zombies because they want to act that badly.
And they're getting paid like $12 an hour.
And they like act like zombies.
I know, but why?
This is weirder, but they're making $125,000.
This girl's making $500,000, apparently.
And then a kid in a fucking haunted house in New York City is making $13 an hour to put on makeup.
Walk all slow, sliding their fucking left foot eight hours a day, $13 an hour, $500,000 a year.
I guess you got a pullback.
There's something like implicitly sexual about this that is unsettling to me.
That's unsettling.
That's my whole delineation for that exactly.
That's fucking weird.
There's something sexual about this.
It just, people see it as sexual.
This is the way you're looking at that.
The way y'all look at feet is the way I look at this for sure.
I don't get it.
Once we get to 350 R.
No, I think it's just the girl that makes it sexual.
If this was a guy doing this, it wouldn't be sexual.
No, it's weird, Gray.
I thought that's weird, yo.
Hot dog yum.
Bro, a hot dog yum.
You can't tell it's not like kind of sexual.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
Yeah, I get it.
The people are weird, yo.
People have been.
No.
That's weirder than feet.
It's not even a question if you're into that.
The girl I have a problem with, but donating money, that is weird as fuck, yo.
That's how I look at y'all niggas.
But you know, it's weird.
No, I put her on the scene.
You out of your mind.
I'm putting that on the scene.
Legging feet and paying for that.
Why are all these girls getting pedicures if people don't like feet?
Yeah, but you're not paying for feet is crazy.
That's what I'm saying.
Paying for feet and paying for this.
The same shit.
Yeah, yeah.
It takes the thrill out of it.
Like, let me go on Instagram and zoom in twice.
I do do that, bro.
There's a lot of girls that they got, they're all burkhood up on their feet.
They hide the dogs.
And it's just like, bruh.
Yeah, the people.
You're a Western woman covering your whole feet like that.
Oppressed.
Exactly.
Like, how dare you, like, let a man tell you to keep your fucking toes covered?
Why would you let a man oppress you like that?
Take it off.
Be a liberated woman.
It's July.
Like, get them fucking toes out there.
Flex them up.
Free the dogs, dude.
Real talk.
Real talk.
You got that dog in here.
Yeah, you do.
And you need to let them out.
Yum, yum, yum.
Let them out.
Hot dog.
Yum, yum, yum.
Hot dog.
No, I mean, paying.
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
I was talking to Viet about this.
He's like, how different is this than like the guy that would dress up all gold and stand in like Times Square or whatever?
Oh, what a great analogy.
Like, how different?
Like, it requires not really any talent.
But we pay them for being still.
Yeah.
Like, that is the only reason we pay them.
We don't care if they're in gold.
Being in gold allows me, it grabs my attention long enough to know you've been still.
But I'm paying you for being still, not for being in gold.
If you were just a dude sitting there like this, I wouldn't even notice I walked by.
But if you painted all gold, you're like this.
I'm like, oh, you still, Pokemon?
Damn, look how still?
Look how still this motherfucker is.
You ever seen one guy that's still, you give him money and you see another guy's stiller?
And you're like, fuck.
I should go get my money from the other still guy and give it to this guy.
Because he's way stiller.
You never did that?
Mark, I never done that.
Bro, I did that before.
I did do that.
I saw a guy on a gold still and I was like, fuck, this guy is so much stiller than the other still guy.
Because they compete.
They beef.
I've seen them.
You could pay both, too.
You could give them both money if you got it.
You got a five piece.
I'm going to give it a still guy.
You dropped a five on them?
On the stillest guy on the block?
Yeah.
They all got Venmo now.
Now they do.
This was back in the day.
This is back in the 90s.
Can we talk?
Listen, are they not affected by SAG After?
That's what I thought this was.
I thought that this is what all the actors are turning down to.
They can't make movies and shit no more.
They about to be doing.
Holy shit.
Can we understand what's going on with SAG AFTER?
Hey, Mark, get out of the fucking camera because we got to talk about bird dogs.
Dip shit.
Bird dogs will even fit Mark's fat ass.
You know that?
They are fantastic shorts that are incredibly comfortable.
They have shorts that look nice.
They look like khaki shorts, but they're functional like gym shorts.
So they have a liner that can fit even the most deliciously fat asses like Mark's.
Nom nom.
You know what I mean?
Now I'm out here looking like one of them anime hoves.
Donate some money to my motherfucking, what's that live stream thing called?
Anyway, the point is bird dogs are comfortable, they are quality, and you need them.
So go to birddogs.com/slash flagrant.
That's B-I-R-D-D-O-G-S dot com slash flagrant for those of you too stupid to spell and enter promo code flagrant for a free tumbler with your order.
Everybody can use a tumbler.
You can't use a tumbler.
You fucking right you could.
And comfortable shorts in this hot ass summer.
If you live in New York, balls probably stink right now in them fucking jeans.
So why don't you just go to birddogs.com slash flagrant and enter promo code flagrant to get that free tumbler.
Now let's get back to the show.
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Now let's get back to the show.
Hey, we're coming back in.
We've actually brought the truffle in here because we tried to talk about the SGA.
What is it called?
SGA.
Speaking of SAG, S-A-John's tits are here.
S-A-G.
I'm sorry.
That was.
You know myself.
You know that they're fucking up at least.
That was unnecessary.
That was crazy.
That was wild.
Why do you do that off?
Why?
I've been working out so fucking much.
Look at it.
He's fucking, you got him crossing his butt.
He's hiding his saggy tits now.
Like, that's fucking fucking fucking fucked up.
I'm sorry.
That's what he just said.
I don't have saggy tits, though.
He just never got.
Did you miss the joke?
I'm saying his tits are.
You just called him.
Speaking of sag, Mark, work out three times a day.
Look, take your shirt off.
I want you to know I have to do it.
He turns into a Hollywood producer real quick.
Writers Share License00:14:16
Young lion.
Take your shirt off.
Yeah, dude.
But that was, I apologize for that awesome rust.
I shouldn't have said that.
You've been good today.
I'm sorry.
You've been good today.
Hi, friends.
It took away all of my family.
He's coming here.
No, dude.
He was already coming in like, oh, guys, I'm going to fuck it up.
Yeah, fucking hit him over the head immediately.
Okay, explain to us what's going on with this actor and writer strike.
First time it's happened in what?
40 years?
60 years.
60 years.
First time they've both struck together.
Yeah.
Okay.
So 1980.
Why are they really striking?
That's what that's everybody's making it out to be like this AI thing.
Oh, AI is going to replace the writers.
Tell us, that's all I'm talking about.
Tell us it's true.
Oh, shit.
That's easy.
That's negotiating one-on-one.
Makes it this thing seem important, but really that's not it.
I think the biggest thing is obviously the streaming revenue and the share that they're getting.
You know, that they negotiate these SAC strikes or these SAC agreements every three years.
Things change a lot in three years, obviously, with streaming.
I think the biggest reason why this is so tough, and you guys should talk about like, what would you do in this situation?
But the people that own the streamers are some of people like Apple aren't necessarily like equating it to like revenue, right?
They're just trying to grow the actual streaming platform and so-and-so other ones.
They used to do it with Nielsen.
It's like, this is a viewership.
This is what we could sell ads for, and this is how we can valuate these shows.
I don't think that they've got, they're not sharing what the actual actual numbers are because it could influence share price so much.
So I think this scope is.
What does share price mean?
Like the share of the stock that is being traded for the streamer.
Okay, so this is really good.
Just to back up one second.
Streamers notoriously have not shared the views for shows.
Sometimes they'll say, oh, view 10 million times or something, or they'll say like the number one streamed movie on Netflix, but you don't know the exact Nielsen was giving you a pretty accurate number.
And then I think when things went digital before it went streaming, so when people were watching on cable vision or these things, you had like an I want to say almost exact, but like a near exact number, how many were watching on these like digital cable platforms, right?
So you could sell that show to the audience pretty well.
You knew, hey, 10 million people are watching.
So this is what we're going to do.
We need ads that are worth 10 million viewers.
Now that these streaming platforms are streaming the shows and they're not being transparent because they don't need to, because they're not selling them to the advertisers, right?
The transparency is no need.
They're not giving that transparency to the writers and to the actors.
Yeah, writers can figure out, oh, they sold this many ads at this price.
This is how much they made.
This is what we deserve.
Now, to make the argument for them, they're going, motherfucker, we ain't even making money.
Yeah.
What we're doing is losing money to build up the streamer.
So we're paying you all, making all these fucking shows, losing all this goddamn money.
You want us to give you a percentage of what we're making?
You're going to be paying us.
Yeah.
So the example, like HBO Max can come around, but look at the battle right now.
Like HBO Max has like decades and decades of content that they can just throw on that streamer that they just create out of nowhere.
Now it's Max.
Netflix, which could before license it, now has to produce their own content.
So they're all of a sudden spending $8 billion to make new content so people stay with them.
So it's this battle that different folks have to say like, what's the actual valuation?
They haven't figured out how to evaluate the cost of a view.
So the music industry has kind of done this with streaming.
They have a price per stream.
And it varies from Apple to Spotify to Google Plays or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Title.
But I don't think streamers have figured out the price per stream of a show yet.
And SAG wanted, I mean, this was one of their requests that they wanted 2% of the revenue that each show generates for a streaming platform to be paid to performers.
And it's like, how do you calculate that?
So watch this.
So they wanted to go with a content valuation tool, Parrot Analytics, and that uses Google searches, social media mentions, and other data sources to measure demand for each show, which then you got to get everyone agreeing that that's the new way that we're supposed to do it.
So surely these streamers are probably underpaying the writers and actors.
But I imagine it's not so far underpaid compared to what the actors think is happening because they're not even making money.
Like Netflix has to make a bunch of shows because they can't license everything anymore because these different studios have their own streamers.
So they're in this mad dash to create content or else there's nothing to be watched on their fucking platform.
So they're making shows and on some level probably going, we don't give a fuck that much about these shows.
We just need things out here to justify these people spending every month.
Whereas the writers and the actors are going, we need our fair share.
And they can't go to them and say, we don't give a fuck about your stupid show.
We just need bullshit for right now.
We need to grow in Europe.
And how do you grow in Europe?
You need to make really commercial, star-driven projects.
So we overpay these stars.
And then we realize, shit, now genre is what works or these types of murder docs.
And you kind of are just scrambling to say, like, our mission right now is growth and people get left off.
To what you were saying earlier, you can't admit publicly that nobody's watching the shows you make.
Because then you look weak, your share price goes down.
The share price drops.
And all of these trivia platforms are in the game where the share price dictates how much they can spend, right?
Because none of them are making money yet.
They're not profitable.
Yeah.
Right.
But the share price is profitable.
So as long as people are invest, not profitable, but as long as people are investing, it justifies the spending.
So it's a real go.
The one thing I don't understand, couldn't they just give them the numbers of the shows that they license?
Because isn't that the same thing as the syndication?
So they don't have to give the numbers for like their original content shows, but any show that's being licensed, they can give those shows the numbers and be like, hey, we're going to pay you.
What's the.
Sure.
I just think they're holding everything so close to their vests just because it's all, you know.
Well, if they give the numbers for the shows that are licensed and it turns out those numbers are way greater than the shows they create themselves, then when they go to re-up that license.
There's some leverage.
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
If they just never give out the numbers for the shows that they make, then there's no way of people knowing that one's doing more.
There's nothing to compare it to.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
Yeah, that sounds good.
I wonder if they feel like they don't have to do that because they've purchased the syndication outright.
So they bought the licensing rights outright and then paid them a straight up fee for that syndication.
So they're like, we already paid you for that.
Why would I tell you what the shows are doing in syndication?
And then they pay like a hundred million for friends for one year.
And then the performers and writers don't get any of that?
They should.
I think when they bought those.
They get that upfront.
Yeah.
I think instead of residuals, you get a fat payment up front.
That's what it is.
They have to figure out that when they started like doing streamer films.
It's like they have to find a formula to buy out the back end because normally you would like, you know, in a theater, you would get.
So if Will Smith did right, right?
Like Ben is back, maybe when Will Smith was getting $10, $20 million a movie, he needs that fee of $10, $20 because that's what he would get in a movie theater.
Plus he needs what the movie gets in syndication when it's sold to HBO afterwards.
And then after that, when it's sold to Channel 11.
10 DVDs.
Exactly.
So they're like, we're just going to give you $20 million up front to do break.
That's what Netflix says.
And then you just go, okay, I think that that's worth it.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
And there's really no way to quantify the value of a stream just now because they're not profitable.
Yet Spotify, I don't think, is profitable.
I mean, like, yeah, they got all these like Uber, like, like meal sharing and all that shit.
Like, none of those are making money.
They're all just dumping VC money to try to take up market share.
Spotify gives their numbers, though.
That's true.
Yeah, it's very public.
Spotify shows all of their numbers.
An artist can be like, yo, look, I remember Drake was, or people were saying this about Drake.
Like he accounts for like a fourth of the music industry just in terms of streams.
So.
So why would his percentage be the same as somebody in bringing on anything?
What if it's time spent on the app per dollar spent for your subscription?
So if you're spending $10 a month and you're spending eight hours a month on the app, like what if there's some sort of like...
Then it's become on YouTube in a way.
Like YouTube does that.
And like YouTube will actually pay more money to videos that give people session time.
Like have you heard this?
So like if there's an amazing YouTube documentary about pyramids that like has 10 million views, they'll get paid for every time people watch that video, but also they'll get paid for the watch time if that video leads them to spending two more hours on other videos that aren't there.
I was about to say.
Shit.
Yeah.
Dude.
It's a smaller percentage, but they will still get money for creating session time.
So if you created a wormhole.
This is what I, yeah, this is, yeah, that, yeah, the wormholes.
Yeah.
The wormhole effect.
This is the thing.
And this is, this is, I imagine, like later, but, but yeah, that's what I was, you know, early on in the YouTube days, it was like we were creating the YouTube stand-up wormholes.
And like once you get in here, they would suggest other things that you should go watch.
And we had 20 different holes that you could fall into and then get suggested the same videos that would come after.
But even if it's not your content, you still get paid by it.
But that's the thing.
Then other people, as they started doing the YouTube thing, were showing up in the wormholes we created.
So, which is great.
Now they also get to pop off more often.
People get opportunities.
And it's interesting on a deal-making perspective of like you're in Netflix and then all of a sudden, remember, you're not doing the 22 shows anymore and with our 22 episodes per season.
You can do shorter seasons, but that means that people get put out of work sooner.
That's the other thing that's interesting with the writers.
I understand why they're frustrated because they used to do 22 episodes a year for a show.
Now they're down to six to eight on Netflix, maybe.
But it was the same work also for like actors, like the work and effort to get that part or the luck that it took to get that part, and they're out of work sooner.
And on the studio side, you're like, oh, wait, if the show is still now considered a success and it's shorter and now people are still on my streaming platform and they're going down the wormholes, I don't need to pay huge contracts to re-up this season, this show for another, you know, two, second, third, fourth.
Like probably after four seasons now, you have to really pay these fuckers.
Dude, you're like, no, no, no.
Before I get to that point, let me still kind of try to hit more.
Oh shit, I just thought about this.
Black Mirror is always so short.
And I'm like, why the fuck is only six episodes with that?
They can't won.
They can't afford to pay them anymore.
But like, I heard this earlier in Netflix where like the strategy was like do one or two episode seasons.
And I'm trying to think.
A related series was it?
No, no, no.
It was like, we'll do a sitcom, not a sitcom, but we'll do a show.
But like, let's make it one or two episodes.
We don't have to go long.
By the sixth season of Game of Thrones or something like that, you're paying What's Her Face, Daenerys, 10 million an episode to do to have three fucking lines.
Like they got you by the balls.
Really?
Not 10 million, but whatever it is.
Like it was a million dollars an episode, but she had three lines.
Like she just walked she would walk and like say a word or something like that, but you need it.
They got you by the way.
And then if you look at Ray Romano, not to say they're not deserved, Seinfeld, all these guys were getting a million an episode, a bunch of them.
It was so expensive to make the show because of that fee, right?
I wonder if you're in Netflix, you just need to keep people on the app, but there's diminishing returns for the popularity of the show because you're not gaining that many new subs and you can't profit off of advertising.
So it's like you almost don't want the show to get so crazy popular that the actors cost so much to make the show.
You really just want to be like, squid game, fire.
Okay, what's the next project?
Fire, next project.
Every year they pays little.
It's almost like building your football team through the draft.
And if you drop the episodes all at the same time, like most people are binging it anyway.
What's the difference between six and 10 episodes?
So I wonder with Stranger Things.
Like they had this massive series crack off through Netflix.
They could potentially sink their own show by demanding more money.
And then the show can't persist.
Or all the actors and producers just have to be like, yeah, we'll take less money.
I mean, you see what they're doing.
They're doing like the spin-offs and that kind of shit.
But the great thing with the spin-off is you pay one person.
Yeah.
You know, and then everybody else gets that minimum.
Yeah, they get the new one.
So the problem with Netflix is a couple anchor shows.
So they definitely put a lot of efforts.
Because they can't license it anymore.
That was their big thing is they thought that they could develop their Seinfeld, their friends, the passive viewing shows that they had, that really was like the majority of their watching.
And they didn't really put it together with scripted.
They put it together with unscripted.
They want formats.
They got, well, they got Selling Sunset.
Yeah, they got reality shows for sure.
The whole F1 series, those guys are doing the golf show.
I'm watching the quarterback show right now.
I feel like British Bake Off.
They can swap out the judges and the hosts and the show still works.
Killed it.
But the shows that get massively popular, they just find other ways to make money from it.
Seasickness Disney World00:02:49
Because with Stranger Things, they have amusement park rides.
They have like suck shows and shit that they have.
So what is that?
That is the Disney model.
Yeah, merchandising.
I will create an amazing cartoon.
I will make figurines and toys from that cartoon.
And then I will make a ride at a theme park for that cartoon.
And you will spend way more money on one weekend in Disney World in your life than you will on going to see Disney movies for your entire existence.
But it's just the hook to get you in.
So it's almost treating the content as bait to get you go on a Disney cruise with your kids, to get you to go to Disney World, whatever the hell it is.
You're going to spend so much money when you go there those weekends.
So I think Netflix is realizing, okay, we're kind of capped with people that can get Netflix.
How else can we profit?
Stranger Things live experience and data.
Even Netflix theme park.
They just don't have enough good scripted content.
Exactly.
And eventually they'll get to it.
They'll have the, like, I mean, look what they did with Harry Potter World.
Just if you want to think about what IP does, like, we as adults went to Harry Potter World.
That's the only reason you go to Universal Studios.
Yeah.
They had a Jurassic Park thing and I was like, oh, this is probably cracking off for a little while.
This Harry Potter shit going to go for.
Mario World, they're building that shit.
They're building it out, yeah.
And that, to me, that's fire.
Like, if you really get go-karts done right with Mario World, like, and that's going to be all ages because we came up and it's still part of our existence.
They still love go-karts.
That'll get them into Mario, probably.
Driving the Mario World go-karts is a track.
Bro, that's going to be fun.
And like actually being able to take out like there's a way where you could probably digitally, so you're not going to see the fucking red shell hit the guy in front of you, but it will be on your screen.
Not your screen, but your, what is it called?
Windshield.
So your windshield could have parts of a digital display so you could shoot the red shell.
You could see it hit the car in front of you and then that car can slow down or whatever.
But you're playing live Mario Kart.
Yeah.
I mean, especially as VR gets better.
Some type of glasses or something.
Augmented reality.
Did you ever do that?
Yeah.
There's an avatar ride at Disney World that I took that is a VR ride and it's actually incredible.
That should make me throw up.
Son, the line is like three hours long.
It's not as bad as you think.
I thought I did one in Harry Potter World.
If it goes like this, too much.
Yeah, but it was Harry Potter World to have me shaking and it would look beautiful and it was amazing.
I thought I was in it, but I wanted to throw off.
Did you get seasick?
I think so.
I don't know.
The avatar one is even better.
Seasickness is the most pussy shit in the world.
Nah, but you've never been to sea.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
You've never been out fishing.
You're dressing a gay sailor, but you've never been to sea, bro.
You never actually shit up there.
So pussy, bro.
Car sickness, pussy.
I'll be getting this shit.
No, I got over.
Tom Hanks Trans Race00:12:13
I agree.
I got over a lot of sea sickness just because you're in a car.
You don't know what seasickness is then.
No, seasickness is crazy, bro.
But you got to be deep for that shit.
You got to be like, you can't see shore.
That's seasickness.
You too close to shore to get seasick.
No, but I mean, we were in Mexico.
Like a couple people on that boat were getting seasick.
I'm like, the fuck is this?
It's just waves.
Relax.
Tell yourself you're not sick.
And then you're getting tough, dude.
No, that's some pussy ass shit.
Save some pussy for all the rest of us, dude.
I don't respect ours, man.
Al, I just don't respect seasickness.
Al, you're such a man, dude.
I know.
Come on.
What do you think will happen?
So you tell us.
What do you think?
Because you know how to see?
The easiest thing is that they're going to give just contract bumps to every part, like the weekly recurrings, those types of things.
I think that's an easy negotiating point.
AI, do you know the thing about AI?
Sorry, can I ask you a quick question?
Netflix is apparently making a lot more money now because of the advertising.
They have the Netflix model with the ads, and that's making a lot of money.
How does that change things?
Because with the ads, you're probably releasing numbers.
You have to tell the advertisers how much they're paying, the companies how much they're paying.
And theoretically, it could go to like a Hulu type.
You got the ad model, and then you got the no ad model for consumers.
And then y'all, for the ad model, we know how the fuck we get paid residually.
The no-ad model, maybe not.
Yeah, I think what's going to, they'll get pay bumps, but their goal is to get some definition of what this all means.
Like, what's some metric of like, we need to know what's considered success.
He didn't listen to a single thing he said.
I did hear it for a second.
And then I was like, he talked fast.
He looked at you like he was listening and you believe he was listening.
I don't know.
He was just waiting for you to shut up so he could keep saying whatever the fuck he was saying, bro.
I think he didn't do that.
What's going to happen?
Yeah, what's the fight?
I saw him say to Andrew, I did listen, and then I saw him try to repeat what I said and he couldn't.
To my insult before, a little justified, right?
Yeah.
Because it's like kind of balanced.
I get it.
I'm with it.
He's stapping up a lot today.
Who is the fight really with?
What are the executives that they're really arguing with?
Like, is it just Netflix?
Is it Netflix, Disney?
It's all of them.
They're all part of, it's unions because they're actually trying to justify, or they're trying to give some leeway to independent producers, but most TV series have a studio backing for the most part.
AMPTP or something, the Alliance of Motion Pictures and Television Production, I think.
That's the union going out of SAN.
So that's everybody.
Gotcha.
Whoa.
So Netflix either got to show their numbers or just pay everyone.
Or we got to have less actors.
But who's paying attention?
Too many.
But they say that too.
They don't want to hear it.
Only 2 to 5% of actors that are in SAG can have just that as their job, and everyone else has to have some kind of side hustle.
Really?
Wow.
Barry Diller today said something that actually kind of makes sense to me.
Barry Diller is a huge media titan.
I think he owns, what is this called?
IAC from Tinder to, look him up.
Just iconic dude.
But what did he say?
He said that executives and top talents should give 25% of their fees to the rest of the group, which you can almost say, is there something like whatever the highest negotiated fee is for their actors, like there's at least some type of tax, if you will, that's distributed across the performers on that project.
So you don't have something where you have like the biggest actor making $30 million and then someone else making, you know, a couple grand.
I'm like, come on.
That's a good proposal.
And the execs who do it with them, yo, if I got to sell it.
Execs, I don't see them doing it.
I mean, the execs are coming.
Oh, that's fault.
Brilliant.
You want the execs to make less money?
All right, bet.
Brad Pitt, you cough it up too.
And then Brad Pitts can be like, fuck no.
So, I mean, would they just negotiate that into the thing where they're like, okay, 30 mil, but 10% has to go to whatever, so pay me 30.
But make it part of like a union fee because think about it like this.
Like, any agent that reps top talents always wants to get the most for their talent, right?
So it's not like, oh, yeah, this person wants to do it and this person doesn't.
You just make this part of like, you know, your pension health and welfare that union dudes kind of go for, but you actually make it part of like whoever is the highest paid.
And that's what a lot of these shows are based on.
Like, you know, some number has to be distributed.
Wow.
But then one show, but then the argument is like, yeah, one project that has a huge superstar that's getting a huge amount gets this.
And then some other like genre show that doesn't have a big superstar, like the numbers.
And you could make it, you could make taxes.
Yeah, but like, you know, a little bit of a trend.
But you could make the argument that that big actor on the project is already doing that by having the project exist and for sure.
Exactly.
It's like by Tom Hanks being in the movie, everybody else gets paid.
Nobody else is going to see that movie until Tom Hanks is there.
For example, like a man named Dotto.
Right?
Fantastic movie.
Nobody's going to see that movie of Tom Hanks.
The movie sucks without Tom Hanks.
Yeah.
It's nothing without Tom Hanks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know about that.
No one would like it if it wasn't for Tom Hanks.
I don't know about that because I think that the writing is really good.
I think that the acting is really good.
I knew there was an argument.
I knew there was an argument.
You didn't give a fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What I'm saying is nobody would go see it.
And it wouldn't get made.
So it starts with Tom Hanks and then everybody else gets pushed.
Yeah, yeah.
So what?
He didn't like the movie that much.
No, I thought it was good.
I knew that.
I thought the part you didn't like, I actually thought was good.
Ugh, you suck.
Let's fucking go.
Barry Diller used to be the CEO of Paramount and was part of creating Fox broadcasting.
Wait, why did it suck?
No, I thought it was good.
I really enjoyed it.
I thought the end was really beautiful.
I mean, I'm not as gay as him.
Wait until he tells you what part he really liked.
No, he really got upset about the trans person.
And I was like, no, I get why they did that.
Because they put a trans person in the movie.
And I thought the point was he's friends with like, this guy hates everybody.
You don't follow the rules.
He doesn't like you.
He seems so surly.
He keeps calling everybody an idiot.
But then this Latina girl who I think she's a great.
She's the best outside of Tom Hanks part of the movie.
But then there's a trans person that was like, you know, his wife died, and that's why he's extra miserable.
Trans person that was a student of his wife who was a teacher.
And I thought the point of all these like diverse people is this guy, the Hollywood trope is you're an old racist person who changes to not racist throughout the movie.
They're making themselves different than that and being like, no, this guy's open-minded.
He doesn't care what race you are.
He doesn't care what gender you are.
He just hates idiots.
That's his whole thing.
You don't follow the rules.
You're an idiot.
You don't part correctly.
You're an idiot.
We need to just make him that guy who changes throughout the movie into somebody who accepts everyone like beyond all that.
And that couldn't have been accomplished without the trans storyline.
It's the most extreme version of it.
In the book, he's gay.
Yeah.
See what they do?
How can I be on?
See what they do?
In the book, he's gay, but gay is not enough now.
So Hollywood's like, you have to make him trans.
It just felt like, like, after being in some movies and like seeing how this shit works.
You complained that the character is trans.
He's gayer.
He's gayer.
No, I guess.
I see his point.
They always have to up the morphing of diversity.
I see your point.
Hey, go.
Can we get some lights there?
Did I get some lights in there for them?
Did I just lose my argument myself?
I think so.
You did, you did, but that was tired of me.
I didn't sit on that the whole time.
I know, I guess what I'm saying is like the acting of the character and their relationship was fine, but it was so obviously an executive was like, well, make this movie, but we'd like you to make this trans because that's the hot button topic right now.
And that's the thing that we need acceptance.
These gays, they've been accepted, so throw them out the fucking bathwater.
But trans is our way.
And then seeing Tom Hanks have to fucking hold this movie together.
I mean, it was like Spider-Man, you know, in the subway scene, Spider-Man 2 and Toby McGuire's like barely stopping the train from falling off the tracks.
He held, it was the most forced bullshit.
Why?
Why does nobody like you?
I'm trans and my dad threw me out of the house because I did that.
Shut the fuck up.
No.
Shut up.
You need that.
But you just said it.
If gay is more acceptable now, you need something that's not.
All right, good, good point.
To show how fucking understanding this guy is.
Like, yeah.
Actually, made it better.
No.
It made it better to highlight his thing of just like, hey, I just don't like idiots that don't follow the rules.
So you need extremes to say that you're not going to be able to do it.
Because I think a hacky movie is an old racist, an old white guy is racist, and then he meets some minorities and gay people, and now he's not racist.
That's so hacky to me.
I thought this was different in that it was like, man, I don't give a fuck if you're trans.
I don't give a fuck if you're Puerto Rican.
I don't give a fuck if you're black.
I don't care.
Yo, there's a scene where like he's...
Wait, what movies have they put out where it's the old racist guy?
Clint Eastwood did one where he fucking hated him.
He's a Grant Torino.
That's what I was thinking of.
That happens.
It happens a lot.
All the time.
That's the thing.
Yes.
But if the book was written in like the 60s and the guy was black and it would have been amazing in that time, if we saw it now, we'd be like, ah.
It's not that crazy to have set the ball.
They didn't even make it like about race.
Like there's a scene where he has this best friend who's black and they didn't talk for decades.
And it was his best friend.
And he talks about how like, you know, we were just different.
And, you know, back in, you would expect that to be about race.
But they lift up their cars and one has a Ford and one has a Chevy.
And he's like this blue-collar motherfucker who's like, I can't believe you got a Ford, Doug.
I'm a Chevy man.
We're such different people.
And then he said, like, I tried to patch things up with him and I realized we had just changed into different people.
The black guy's like, hey, I want to show you my new car.
And then he lifts up the garage and it's a Toyota.
And the guy's like, I can't fucking, I can't believe I ever was friends with this guy.
And it's like, the race thing is not an issue at all.
It's just he's that stuck in his ways and that closed-minded.
So I thought the trans thing, I do agree a bit.
It's like, you're giving the exec more credit than I would give him.
I would think it's, hey, we need to make this as diverse as possible to make everybody happy and not get yelled at, make them trans, not gay.
But I think it actually highlighted, in the end, it worked out because it highlighted the fact that he don't give a fuck what your anything is.
I just hate idiots.
Yeah, that's what I got from him.
I didn't get that it was a play about whether people, whether he was unaccepting of different races or cultures.
Yeah, I thought that just highlighted that for me.
The idiot thing was perfect.
Like he's just, he just hates everybody because he was dealt like a kind of rough set of cards in life.
And I mean, it sounds, the movie's dope.
Like, he just tries to kill himself constantly throughout.
It's so funny, dude.
Like, literally, he tries to kill himself.
And it's like, I would really recommend it.
It's fucking tearjerker.
It's incredible.
But Tom Hanks is just so sensational and his ability to hold that movie together when that trans just tried to drop a fucking nuclear bomb in the middle of it.
But if it was a gay guy, it still would have worked, right?
Exactly my point.
But like, you could have made it him a Nazi.
You could have made it like a Nazi person.
You could have gotten more extreme.
To a guy Tom Hanks' age would have worked.
What type of gay?
Flamboyant.
Oh, see, that's...
But he's not a flamboyant.
A flamboyant trans a regular.
But you can't be a flamboyant trans.
You're transitioning into.
No, I mean, like, I put him at the same level of like.
Of what?
Yeah.
Diversity.
Of diversity.
Diversity.
I know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I gotta say that.
I don't know what he's trying to say.
I feel like we shouldn't bail him out.
No, no, but you should.
Come on, go.
Go on my side.
I got you.
It's just diversity.
It's just diversity.
Diversity.
Yeah.
I just hate the forced shit.
And poor Tom Hanks has to be like, oh, damn.
Like, that must be so hard.
He didn't say that.
Yeah, he did.
No, he just goes, your dad didn't like you because you're trans?
He's an idiot.
That's all he says.
Yeah, yeah.
That was what he was so mad about.
He was so mad about that.
You also made it this big thing.
And I'm watching the movie and I'm like, how do we know it's just because he's trans?
Yeah, whatever.
The guy couldn't even fix a bike.
The guy couldn't even fix a fucking bike.
That's why your dad doesn't like you.
Weirdos Read Book00:04:19
We'll put your bike together for you.
Yeah.
A fucking tranny over there.
You know what that is?
You should read the book.
Say what?
Read the book.
They're just gay in the book.
You'll enjoy that.
I like that.
That's good.
It's also, I like that Akash likes it.
It's like Blue Collar Guy.
It's such a Swedish European book.
It's a man called Uva, and it's so European.
I know.
That's so bad.
They're fighting over Volvos and Skodas in the book.
It's a great book.
Really?
I bet it is.
Yeah.
Because great books become great movies.
Are you going to go see Oppenheimer?
Yeah, I'm really excited for it.
People are saying it's going to save Hollywood.
Oh, you know, it's banned in Japan?
They're not showing it in Japan, which makes.
Should we just show it anyway, like against their will?
There's two showings.
No, I think that it's going to be great, man.
I mean, I love Nolan.
He's a beast.
And he's got great cats, and the story's great.
I mean, you already see how they're organizing it.
Like, it feels like Ford versus Ferrari, but for nuclear weapons.
Like, just even for the trans.
Like, it's like, we have to do it.
They've got a 12-month head start on us.
Or 18 Germany's got a 12 or 16-month head start on building nuclear weapons.
We have to do it.
This is the only way we can win the war.
You know, bring the boys together.
This is the most important thing in history.
Yeah.
Apparently it's not banned.
They just haven't had like an official release date yet.
So they're like trying to figure out the release date.
I can think of a good date.
What date?
Black Friday.
A day that will live on in infamy or whatever.
Isn't that Pearl Harbor?
Yeah, they could do it on theirs.
December 7th.
Yeah, they could do it on their big day.
It is funny that they're doing joint marketing for Barbie and Oppenheimer at the same time.
I've seen a lot of memes about that.
It's great because now nobody else can promote.
It's crazy.
Oh, so just to let everybody know that if you're in SAG, which is the actors union, or the region, not only you can't act, you can't promote your films.
So you can't even come on a podcast and promote.
You can't do anything to promote it.
It is like pens down.
So they're using all of their old press junk at footage.
Like if you see any footage of the actors together, it's promoting film.
It's old shit.
And you can, I guess, use the old stuff to promote it.
It's just no more new things.
So I don't know.
I think it's genius that they're going into this like meme marketing to get buzz for the movies.
And it seems to be working out.
Are they the same studio?
Are they completely different?
No clue.
Like the fact that they're riding the wave together, I'm assuming that's just in solidarity because they can't promote.
And so even if the students hate so, they're like, we got it.
I think they got to win.
All these actors are striking.
Yeah.
I think they're jumping on a wave that existed before when people found out that Barbie and Oppenheimer were coming out at the same time.
Now, it's smart that they both come out at the same time because you would think that the audiences might be different.
Oppenheimer probably skews more male, maybe a little bit older.
Barbie, you're going to have the weirdos.
Yeah.
The feet are not going to be a little bit different.
You got the feet weirdos.
You got not weirdos, just feet men, feet connoisseurs.
Feet connoisseurs.
Some alleged.
Feet connoisseurs.
Soulmal is.
So we got, you know, like, I don't know.
You just feel like, I just feel like, yeah, maybe women go see Barbie.
You got the older women who played when they were young, and maybe the younger women are into it.
So it's like.
And the kids.
Do the kids go see it?
Is Barbie important to children?
I don't think it is.
I think so.
I was actually at my friend's daughter's birthday party.
She's turning, I think, eight.
And yeah, she's still into Barbie's.
Son, kids still watch Sesame Street.
All this shit came back.
Interesting.
It went away for a while, I think, and then it came back.
Because remember when Adam Sandler put out that movie with the video games?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pixels.
What's that called?
Pixels.
And he used all these games that were popular when we were kids.
And the youth now just didn't really grow up playing them.
Yeah.
Now, what was pretty surprising is that fucking Mario, the Mario, Super Mario Brothers movie did work.
So I guess Super Mario Brothers is still popular.
Always.
But they kept developing new games and stuff.
Kids are still playing that too.
Exactly.
It's massive.
I don't know if that's because of the movie or whatever.
Yo, Legos feels bigger now than it was when we were kids.
They just had the toys.
AC Stage Staff Clubs00:11:59
I don't know.
That's right.
The movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was really just like a building project when you're a kid.
It was so much fun.
I loved it.
Yeah.
I didn't.
I had no creativity.
I couldn't do it.
But you don't need it.
They got the, it wasn't you build your own.
It was like you follow the instructions to make a cool.
My cheap-ass parents just bought a big tub of Lego.
Poor people.
You needed to have real Legos.
You had the fake ones that didn't really click in the Mega Blocks.
My shit clicked, I think.
We had Legos.
It was just brand new.
It wasn't like.
You just had the bucket.
It was a bucket.
And then you can make your own things.
Yellow, red.
I was making squares, bro.
That's great.
I was making bigger squares.
That's like pediatrician Legos.
Like, you ever go to the pediatrician when you're a kid?
They got the sick room with just a bucket old sick Legos.
Just full of fucking snot and cum and shit.
It was disgusting.
It was just in a bucket somewhere.
Pediatrician, right?
Why would he say that for pediatrician?
That's weird sometimes, bro.
I'm saying what I experienced.
That's pediatrician, bro.
It's a different sound of freedom than everybody else.
They didn't do a semen sample.
They didn't do a sample, bro.
They dig a sample.
You told me if I didn't tell you when I got lollipops.
I'm a Epsom Island.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Come on, dude.
For sure.
Florida.
Where was Epstein's Island?
Nickelodeon, Kaloopa.
What's that shit?
What's that shit?
Oh, the Salon?
Oh, Salon.
All right, what else we got, guys?
Yeah, the Niack Club.
Levity Live, man.
Tried to pull a fast one.
Tried to pull a fast one.
That sucks, dude.
Tried to pull a fast one.
Let me just start us out by saying there's a lot of great clubs out there.
There's a lot of great clubs out there.
I love going to clubs.
You know, I think a lot of times comics get to a certain level and then they never go to clubs again.
And I think that their comedy reflects it.
I think their comedy starts to get a little fin, right?
And what I mean by that meaning is like it hasn't just been like worked out and grinded out and pounded out.
And that's what you, I think, need to do with jokes.
Like if you have success with something, you replicate the things that gave you that success.
So if like you built your first hour in the club's grinding and then you take that to theaters and you take that to arenas, I think that's what you try to do.
So like I try to do as many clubs I can while I'm preparing for the tour.
And we went to this club and as we're walking in right before Vala sends me a picture of two fans on the stage.
And this is like a pretty big club.
Not fans.
No, not like supporters.
Like Spinny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you gotta be very specific.
We do.
And basically, I'm like, I'm like, why are there fans on stage?
He goes, oh, the AC is not really working.
I go, why not?
It's 84 degrees.
He goes, and I go, I go to the manager who's taking us into the club.
Keep in mind, this was, when this club was built, this was a state-of-the-art comedy club.
I remember when it first went up.
It looks kind of like a theater.
I think even like.
It wasn't IMAX Cedar.
It was a movie theater.
Yeah.
And I think they even filmed some specials in there, like state-of-the-art trade.
Really?
Yeah.
So I'm looking at this and I go to the manager.
I'm like, is the AC done?
And the manner is like immediately defensive.
And he's like, he's like, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's the humidity.
You can't handle this humidity.
That's what the fuck is for.
Comic clubs in Dallas, Texas, in Miami, Florida.
And their AC is pumping.
Yeah, it's killing.
Once it gets hot and humid, you press play on the AC.
That's when it's time to dance.
Yeah, it is 84.
It knows what to do in 84.
He basically told you, yo, the AC works in the winter.
You're like, oh, when you're not need to press play, is that when it works?
I mean, it was just like the most mind-boggling thing.
But the second he was defensive immediately, the second he was defensive with me, like, oh, they knew this shit was off.
Because if it just went off that day, you are apologizing profusely, running around like a chicken with his head cut off.
Like, I don't know what this happened.
We're so sorry.
What can we do to fix it?
Etc.
When you knew that it was down, right?
When you knew that it was down for a while, then you act defensive because you need to keep the lie that you're telling yourself.
We've done everything that we can.
Right?
You don't feel the guilt, right?
Or you don't feel like it's out of your control because you know that it was in your control.
So my issue was you didn't tell us before we went there.
Yeah.
Because if you tell me before we go, we have the opportunity to tell all the fans.
It's five sold-out shows.
They've been sold out for months.
We put them on sale.
We are fortunate enough, lucky enough that people are interested that they sold it out in literally like a day.
Okay.
So we have months for this to do.
After I posted the thing about Dacies being done, I got Miss Pat messaging me.
She's like, oh, when I was there, I almost died on stage.
AC wasn't working there.
We got other people kind of snitching and telling us the AC hasn't worked since last June.
Fuck.
So we got a lot of people to other comics saying, yeah, it didn't work when I was there, et cetera.
And it's just, my issue is this.
And I've said this time and fucking time again.
There's no more important relationship in my career than that of the fans that come out to live shows and they're listening to the podcast.
That's the most important relationship.
We protect that with all costs because you changed my life, like literally, changed my life.
It's like, I don't care about my relationship with like a studio exec even close to as much as this relationship because that's fickle.
He gets fired.
Our shit is done.
There's nothing out of my, it's completely out of my control.
I could say one thing on this podcast.
He's like, oh, I can't talk to you anymore.
But this direct connection is freedom.
It's everything.
So when those people are going to get to see one show in maybe three years or four years, who knows?
One show in two years, how often they come out and see me.
It's got to be the best possible situation.
They've got to enjoy it.
Because at the end of the day, if they go to that show and they're in a fucking sauna, they're like, oh, that's the experience when you go watch Schultz.
And what are people talking about?
Like after the show, like, oh, how was the show?
Man, it was the AC didn't work.
It was so sweaty.
It reflects on me.
Yeah.
And in my mind, the reason why the club's not saying anything ahead of time is because, oh, shit, he might cancel the shows and then we're not going to get that money.
If I show up and then you find out, oh, he's going to feel too guilty because he knows the people have already come.
So that's what we did Friday.
I knew that there were people waiting online, literally, as I'm walking the club to go see the show.
So I'm like, fuck it.
We'll do the show because they would be more angry at me that they got to us, got the babysitters, did all these things, made their plans, and then we sent them home.
One show Friday, two shows.
Two shows Friday.
Fuck.
Second show is fucking a boiler room.
It was crazy.
And I mean, I'm in a fucking tank top.
Yes.
And listen, I was too embarrassed to walk out on the stage in a tank top because I was like, that's you're a crazy person to do that.
So I put my shirt on before I walked out on stage both times so that I could take it off, just so that somebody wouldn't see me walking on the stage.
Like, who does this guy think he is?
Fuck you, Scott Dayo.
Doug said my arms were flopping like an old lady at bingo.
That's a way she does.
So a lot of small actors fucked up.
So it was big Asian fucking dad fucked up.
So should have just pulled a Burke Kreiser, bro.
The whole thing just went crazy, right?
So it was just one of those things that was fucked up.
So we canceled the Saturday shows.
And yeah, make sure.
And everybody that make sure you get refunded.
If you don't get refunded, DM me personally.
I'll make sure you get your money back.
We will.
We tried to reschedule those shows in another club that was around there was close.
We couldn't do it, but we did try our best to make it happen.
I will make sure that we do a show out there and we'll find a way to get that email list to give you guys first dibs on tickets in that area.
But so I'm really sorry about that.
But yeah, it's just not worth it for that time.
People spend their money and one day before we could have booked the theater.
We could have done it.
Oh, dude, if you give us one day before, we could have rented external AC units, which we tried to do for the Saturday shows.
The club tried to do it and it didn't end up happening.
I knew that show wasn't going to happen.
But they said that they attempted to do it.
Like, we could have problem solved with this.
Why would you not fix it for a year?
Like, I get your business and you got to whatever, but at the end of the day, you need happy customers.
It's in a mall and malls are dying and all of that.
But like, you've just got to.
What happens if someone got hurt?
Basic things.
The staff is walking around in it.
Like, it's crazy.
It's sweat everywhere.
You can slip on that.
That's another thing.
I will say this.
That's another thing.
The club is paying the staff for the Saturday night.
I said, I'm going to tip them out for the three sold-out shows.
And then the club goes, well, we'd like to pay that.
We'd like to pay their tip for the three sold-outs or whatever.
And I'm like, I'm like, okay, you can pay that.
Yeah, absolutely.
But of course, they have to say, yes, because they can't not do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, you already don't have the AC, and now I go do it.
And then you just sit there.
Of course, you got to fucking make it happen.
So what I will say is that they did the right thing by paying their staff for Saturday because it's not the staff's fault that they lost out on that.
And tipping them out, that was the right thing to do.
Yeah, but they've also had their staff working in no AC the entire summer.
So not good.
I mean, not good.
And I like that club.
That sucks.
I was there a while ago and they were super nice.
I was excited to do it, man.
I was really excited to do shows.
And I wonder why they haven't got it fixed, though.
Because they have to have this problem every single weekend.
I mean, I think that they're not.
I don't think they think that club's going to be there that long.
If you were keeping it around for the long haul, you are continuing to invest in your product.
So that's my suspicion.
20K to fix the AC.
How long is it going to be there?
Probably.
We might already be losing money.
But still, it just seems like you got to do that much.
It's AC.
It's not like some fucking fancy thing that we don't really need.
Yeah.
It's AC.
It's the summer.
It's a comedy club.
We're already packed in there.
The whole point is to pack as many people there as possible.
All that body heat, you just get hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just a shame.
And there are a lot of great clubs out there, man.
We were just out in Salt Lake City.
Zane's was great.
Zane's in Nashville.
But the Wise Guy's Comedy Club is all just an awesome club.
And the guy really fucking cares.
Keith.
And he's just the man.
And like you go to these places and they deserve a shout out.
There's a lot of Zaney's, another one.
They deserve a shout out.
Like Denver Comedy Works.
There's a lot that are great and they continue to invest in the experience for the people that are there.
And I think the weird, there's a weird thing that's happening with comedy right now where there's like a little bit of a chasm where some of the comedy clubs are going, oh, well, the comic is just going to bring their crowd in.
So their crowd is not the club's crowd.
Okay.
So maybe we don't need to treat them as if they're our patron because they're really the patron of the comic.
They're coming once and not again.
But they could be your patron.
Yeah.
Give them the best experience.
They could be like, yo, a comedy show is a great date night.
Yes.
Or that's how I build clubs.
Close to watching a movie by myself in the theater wine or go to a comedy club.
Have like an interactive thing, be around people.
You got to sell them on that.
Bro, in the same way, clubs would have their people come to our show and we had to sell them on being our fans.
Yeah.
Now it's experience.
Now it's different.
They're coming to see us and you can sell them on being your fans.
Yeah, that's the thing.
And yeah, it's just one of those things where it's like it takes a comic, myself included, so long to get to the point where people are willing to get dressed, leave their house to go out and see you live.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you really nurture that experience and that relationship.
And when a club doesn't seem to care about that, you get really fucking annoyed, man.
Yeah.
You understand?
Because it takes years.
And it's fun to go back to the clubs that invested in you and lost money in you.
I've done tons of shows at Levity Live where I probably, the club lost money having me there.
So it's nice to go there and be like, yo, thank you for investing in me.
Here's your sold out weekend.
Everybody, all the staff, they're paying their fucking rent this weekend.
Everybody, it's good.
I'm glad to be here.
Do we have to?
No.
But I'm fucking glad and it's fun and it's awesome.
And then to see him not care, it fucking sucked.
And no real accountability.
Like everybody just be like, oh, I don't know.
I find it hard to fucking believe.
Nobody knows why the AC doesn't work.
Yeah.
Especially if other comics are hitting you up and like, yo, I was there a while ago.
Didn't work.
Bro, if it was, yo, this weekend.
Put it this way.
A lot.
Napoleon Total War Greece00:10:52
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Well, good on you for canceling that shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well done.
Yeah.
Sucks, but it's the right move.
Yeah.
And again, your fans might have been upset, but I guarantee you they'd be more upset if they went there fucking die on a Friday night.
We get one night off away from the kids, like you said, and then it's 100 degrees in the room.
We're sweating so hard we can barely laugh at the show.
That's all we're going to remember, like Mark said.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it was cool, man.
So we've, we've destroyed NELC.
We've destroyed levity.
Who else do we want to destroy?
Scorched Earth.
Total war.
Let's go.
Total fucking war.
Yeah, dude.
You know what movie I'm so goddamn excited to see?
It's not even funny.
Napoleon.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This movie looks incredible.
I didn't even hear that.
We really wiped Napoleon from the history books.
We talk about the French like they're pussies and they never won a war.
They almost conquered the world.
Come on, dude.
And we've completely wiped that away.
Like they retreat from every battle.
They're a bunch of bitches.
That is our idea.
That is like the British American idea of the French.
Propaganda.
Napoleon was busting their ass.
Now, to be fair, he's Italian.
He's from Corsica.
Buona Farte, yeah.
Buonaparte.
Let's just be honest, right?
At the time, Corsica's part of France, but he's a real Italian guy.
He's got that Roman blood.
We need to conquer the world.
And there's no way a real French person can't.
Every great leader is an outsider, okay?
Talk that shit from the family.
Alexander the Great was not Greek.
He's Macedonian.
The Macedonian, there is no Greek empire at the time.
The Macedonians were the empire.
That's the other thing.
Greece doesn't exist until, you know, there's no real Greece.
I know the Greeks are going to be upset about this, but like, Greece doesn't exist until much later.
There were tiny empires that, not even empires, there were tiny like city-states.
What do they call them?
Polis or something like that?
Polis.
And they all looked at themselves as their own independent countries.
So it wasn't like, yeah, we're all Greek.
Yeah.
Greek was the common language.
Yeah, I didn't know Athens.
I thought Athens and Sparta had beef the way like fucking Philly and DC had beef, but we're still American.
They were like, we have beef and that's it.
Like the principal French drink beef.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Philly has a story of like every country.
Like India is like all these warring tribes and then now they're Indians.
Nah, but there was a great Indian emperor who like organized that shit.
I forget that motherfucker's name.
I was just reading about it.
No, I don't know.
But yeah, same with like the Persians.
Like, yo, the Persians were a part of that fucking life.
And we don't learn about them at all because they're Iranian.
I didn't know about that until three years.
Nobody would even, this is going to sound crazy.
Nobody would talk about Alexander the Great if he didn't take down the Persian Empire.
I think he killed, or I don't know if he killed Cyrus, or maybe Cyrus died in battle, but like he took out the Persians.
Nobody had done that before.
Yeah.
Because crossing them mountains was crazy.
But Alexander the Great was about that business.
Genghis Khan, my dad said, like, just crazy how many people.
Did he run through y'all?
I don't know if he ran through all y'all.
My dad always tells me a story about like just how brutal he was.
He said his whole goal when he took over one village was to be so fucking awful to them and massacre them so thoroughly that the next village would hear about it and be like, let's just not even.
Let's surrender before they even come.
If you fight, you're going to get fucking slaughtered.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Anyway, this is.
This Napoleon shit, like, I sent you that article that apparently, like, before Hitler.
I remember you telling me that.
People in the early 1900s, and they talked about like the worst man ever.
Like, who's the most evil person you could ever personify?
It was Napoleon.
Who wrote that article?
Hitler, Hitler's friends.
I don't know how to say this.
They wrote it before Hitler was born in the family.
The new one?
That was an odd question.
He didn't mess with that.
No, the reason why I'm saying this is that might be like British propaganda.
Oh.
Right?
Okay.
Because like...
That's the thing.
Napoleon, wild dude.
I was talking to Shane about this, actually.
We're at the cellar.
And Tim, but like he invents the idea of the war state, which is kind of like what we all have now.
Like, if you look at America in World War II, Ford stops making the cars and they start making the vehicles for war, right?
And the whole country operates as a war machine, the military-industrial complex.
This idea is invented by Napoleon.
When you turn all industry into war, the country is war.
That's total war, right?
Total war.
The women are doing it.
Everyone's involved.
What we think a lot of times with total war is we think of Tecumseh Sherman, which you were referencing earlier.
And that's more just like, I'm going to blaze through everything.
This is the scorcher.
Yeah, civil war.
The bang is contact shit.
Yes.
And then, and which when you think about it, it's like, it's a really tragic way of looking at war because you lose, not only do you lose all this innocent lives, but you lose all the culture, all the relics.
Like, I mean, this has probably happened tons of times in Europe.
And like, the city of Babylon is fucking done probably because of scorcher or total war, whatever.
But total war in terms of like everybody there is working for the cause.
And I was asking the guys, I was like, what was his competitive advantage?
And he was like, artillery.
Like, other people had developed, obviously, gunpowder comes from China, right?
Sure.
But it was.
They invented gunpowder, right?
But like, the cannon is Napoleon.
Like, perfected and the use of it.
I mean, just like busting people's ass, war strategy.
And I think what happened was since Britain, Russia, and maybe even Germany had to come together, I think they were called the Ententes or something like that, come together to stop Napoleon.
Of course, we're going to write about him as if he was the shortest guy ever.
The guy was like 5'8, which is like normal.
Yeah, I think he was average for him.
That's a great height, I think.
For the time.
It's like you should have been born back then.
Or just being in India.
Maybe he was born back then.
Ooh, body.
Let's go.
They didn't upgrade you.
He's got to be someone at that avenue, right?
He's like a Blackberry.
They reincarnated it themselves.
They'd be like, fuck.
They got to do this again.
Shit.
5'6.
5'6, Napoleon.
But that could be Britain saying it.
Yeah, yeah.
Who wrote that article?
Come on, Eric.
So wait, what were you saying about what I asked you about who wrote that?
I mean, I thought you were just trying to get, people were trying to get heat off Hitler.
They'd be like, no, Napoleon was way more than a month.
No, no, and I think I would imagine that's what the British are going to be writing about this.
Because if you also look at the things he does, he was like, yo, we're getting rid of monarchies.
Everybody's equal.
Now he ends up placing his fucking brother as a king of Spain.
He ends up being the complete hypocrite and doing all the things that he shouldn't.
But he stands for the liberation of people and equality and getting rid of the monarchy, which is oppressing these people.
Now, is he using that as a tool to gain favor of the oppressed, you know, working class?
Maybe.
That's possible.
But at the same time, like that part is left out of history, especially when comparing him to a guy like Hitler.
Hitler wasn't, hey, yeah, we just want to liberate everybody.
He was like, nah, I'm in charge of the whole fucking world.
Yeah.
They turned Napoleon to a psychology term.
Son, he's being complex.
He's known for it.
Bro, and that's the short guy who's just like tough all the time for no reason.
Napoleon complex should mean like, yo, you are that guy.
You're him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're an Napoleon complex.
You're him.
Yeah, you think that you should run the world.
Nothing to do with height.
Anyway, I'm stoked to see that, man.
And also, Ridley Scott, like, this is the dude, the guy who's directed it.
I mean, he did Gladiator.
Gladiator.
Alien.
Alien.
Also, he's like a history buff and a little bit of a conspiracy buff.
Like, he was all about that JFK shit.
Like, he was on Rogan recently, wasn't he?
Maybe.
I can't remember.
I think he was on Rogan recently.
When does that one come up?
That's November.
Napoleon, Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving.
They always say he's creepy for Thanksgiving.
Oh, really?
Thanksgiving and Christmas are like big blockbuster days.
That makes sense.
But what about the summer one when, remember Will Smith was?
It feels like summer movies, Dub, you can correct me.
It feels like summer movies are like popcorn flick blockbusters, like Marvel and shit.
And then blockbusters that are also Oscar worthy, November and like December.
Oh, because that's probably closer to the season.
Tees up for like Oscars and shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like Lincoln came out then.
The JFK thing that is crazy is that if you go to the spot in Dallas, apparently you can stand in the book depository.
Oh.
And then they have an ex on the street.
X on the street.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's weird.
You're allowed to go in the book depository and like line it up.
And can you?
I mean, some people are like, no, there's no way other people are like, yeah, if you got lucky, whatever.
But it's just crazy that like they let you practice.
Like, if you're like going to the 9-11 more, there's like a flight simulator.
You know what I mean?
But no president ever driving down that road again.
You know what I mean?
I mean, no, never.
Maybe you got to kill your ex-wife or something useless bitch like that.
You're not killing the president.
Why do they let you line it up?
Like, yo, this is a tragedy.
So much speculation.
I wouldn't have to do that.
That's what makes me feel like it's not a conspiracy.
But I think they blocked it off.
You just told me it didn't block it.
No, you used to be able to.
And then I think recently they were like, oh, we put space because people were like trying to break it.
People are fucking insane.
Yeah.
But you can still see it.
You can still go to where it is.
I mean, I went there.
I didn't go in the building, but I went, I stood where you could get shot.
And I looked up at the building, like, I could get a shot.
Yeah.
I feel like I could get shot from here.
Like, when I was there, I was like, it makes sense.
I completely agree.
Also, did you see the thing where they reenacted it with the type of automobile?
No.
Where the seats were at different levels, and they weren't accounting for that when they were doing the original physics.
Oh, interesting.
So he was like hired.
He was officially higher.
Because those old Lincolns, he like sit super low on them.
Yeah.
So interesting.
I know a guy did some.
Listen, a bunch of people have looked into this.
I'm sure there's some fucked up stuff around it.
There's no question.
And that's the dance.
And I think if you're like the people in charge, you're the they's, you're just like, how much, like, what is probably true isn't that interesting, but you can't say it.
So you're just like, let them run with this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's probably true isn't that interesting, but it also isn't what we think, what the average person thinks happened.
Yeah, like, what's it?
Area 51 or whatever?
Yes.
Yeah.
Like, it's the same shit.
Exactly.
The gore is better.
So it's just like, let's just let motherfuckers run.
And it's like, they probably do got some shit there that they can't tell you about.
So they're not like, yo, we can't let these motherfuckers tour this fucking place.
We got things like that.
They're making crazy weapons.
They're making all this shit.
Exactly.
But it ain't aliens.
But it's like, all right, let them talk about it.
I can tell you that.
I dispel it.
I have to tell you the real shit and I can't tell you the real shit.
So imagine being one of those motherfuckers.
Like that knows.
And you got to hear people talking shit.
You got people in Winnebagos pulling up, telling you you a liar.
You're keeping the aliens.
You're like, motherfucker, it's just another bomb to blow up brown people.
You know what I mean?
It ain't that crazy.
Yo, you think you got that?
Or Japanese people.
Off shouts to Oppenheimer.
True.
Yeah, I can make that.
You got that, bro?
I'll go.
One shot.
I'm a good shot.
But it's a white guy.
You know what I mean?
Do you know how hard that is?
It's an Irish guy.
He's fucking lobster red.
It's an Irish guy in, what was it, in September or something like that?
Yeah, that's a good point.
September.
Yeah.
He already had the dot on his face.
Jesse Owens Sports Moment00:11:41
His neck.
Are you kidding me?
That is the easiest shot in Texas that day.
100%.
I don't know, bro.
That's tough, dude.
Nah, you got it.
I got to see the grassy knoll.
We got to go out there, maybe.
Maybe reenact it.
Let's do Mythbusters.
This shit is mad unrealistic.
Let's do Mythbuzzers for all assassinations ever.
That would be fun.
Oh, yeah.
The Lincoln one is.
Yeah, let's try that one.
Because that was point blank.
That was point blank.
But how'd he get in there?
Say again?
How did he get in there, bro?
He just walked in?
No, because he was an actor.
But, like, you can just get into the president's thing if you're acting?
Son, you're a comic.
Can you just walk into comedy clubs?
Yeah, that's good.
Okay.
The president there, you would think that they would try to lock it up a little bit.
Yeah, maybe they didn't think presidents were getting assassinated back then.
You know what I mean?
Bro, you got to.
Oh, I see what he's saying.
How'd you get into the battle?
The president, the most powerful man in the whole world, that there's a civil war happening.
Not the whole world.
I mean, I'll be honest, I think the secret security was gay.
Nobody's into plays that much.
You got to be gay to be in a play together.
That's what the secret is.
Facts, bro.
They used to.
Yo, yo, what's the service?
We know the secret is what's the service.
Gay blinks.
Island boys.
Yo, we got some Hollywood divorce news.
Oh, and this is not surprising.
Wait, who?
Hot off the president.
Who went viral last week?
We spoke about her on the pod for posting pictures.
Oh, Selma.
The other one.
Sophia?
Sophia.
Yo, Mark, pull up Sophia's Instagram right now, please.
We did?
No, we didn't talk about Selma.
We talked about Sophia.
Who are you talking about?
We're talking about Sophia.
Maybe it's Patreon.
Patreon.
Oh, it's Patreon.
So, pull up her Instagram.
Seven hours ago, post.
I'll pull it up.
Just go to the second square.
And dubbers are.
I mean, Jesus.
No, the next one.
There we are.
Oh, that girl's 50-something years old.
Yes.
Just having a grand old time.
Oh, isn't she a little tipsy, too?
Yeah.
Yeah, a little tipsy.
That explains the heat wave.
Nice job.
And then just dropped on New York Post, page six.
Divorcing after seven years.
Sophia and Joe.
Were they together in Copri?
No, it says she was there with friends.
Maybe this was her divorce partner.
Maybe she knew that this story was going to drop.
And she's like, yes.
Let me shut down the internet because I'm one of the most human beings ever.
Click on that little arrow.
It's crazy.
Nah, but let me see.
Click on next.
What 57 goodness?
How old is she?
51.
I mean, she is absolutely stunning.
That is 51, guys.
Tell your wives.
That is 51.
That is the expectation.
That's what we need out of y'all at 51.
When we spread that fucking word right now, this is 50.
No, no, no, hold up.
This is 51 now.
When our wives are 51, you better look younger than you do now.
You better go back in time.
Not too much.
See if I'm 51.
Not too much.
Keep it in the 30s.
You keep it in the 30s, but women are not allowed to age past 30 anymore.
This is proof.
Stay hydrated.
I mean, goddamn.
But are there any without a one-piece?
I want to see.
Wait.
I just want to see.
I just want to see.
Yo, you are a fucking insane.
Does Sophia have her girls?
I mean, she has a child.
She has one kid from her first house.
I believe it's a child.
The other one, she did bikini.
If they're going to battle, you know she put this up to battle.
That's a battle.
She said, I talk about that.
You know, Latina, South America tour?
Son, she's getting divorced.
She ain't thinking nothing about Salma.
Nah, that was not.
She's letting everybody know what's coming.
That was a battle, bro.
You don't think she knew she was getting divorced last week?
Yeah, but you also got to know.
She had the fucking tickets to Copri ready.
You got to know women.
I just found out she was called Copri and Nakapur.
Copy.
She wanted to be Capri.
Capri.
She wanted to be top Latina.
She wanted to be top.
Wait, who was coming close?
Salma?
Salma.
I mean, everybody was talking about her.
Nobody was talking about her.
Salma's crazy.
Salma might got the crown, to be honest with you.
No, no, no, no.
All respect.
This is all respect.
Yeah.
Come on.
Why are you hating, bro?
I mean, why are you hating me?
Because they're asking her real accent.
Can I be honest with you?
The new accent that she can do is more fake than that accent.
Like, it's probably more natural for her to speak English with a Hispanic accent because that Spanish is her first language.
No, I'm talking about the one they put on that makes them sound like even more Spanish.
Like, like in Modern Family, she's playing it up.
She's playing a comedic character.
So, it's of course she.
I don't think she's ever admitted to playing it up.
I think she says, This is how I speak.
Do you watch the show at all?
Because she'll call a helicopter.
She doesn't know the words if she just does that.
That's not what I mean.
I'm talking about just the way her way she pronounces.
Yeah, dude, it's a fucking comedy, man.
Shut up.
I don't think she's.
You're looking at her.
Chris has an accent.
If I said this, you guys would call me gay.
I'm sorry, you guys would have called me gay for 20 minutes.
That's true.
I just forgot what a man is because he doesn't get seasick.
You know what I mean?
He's just such a man who doesn't get a sickness.
She wears one piece.
Top man, one piece though.
This is unbelievable, bro.
This is craziness.
This is tough.
This is tough.
That was the most bitch that I ever had.
She's a toxic.
I was being a bitch right now.
That was some bitch ass shit.
Oh, she doesn't talk well.
Oh, she talked better.
Then she'd be hot.
She's trying to get this shit off me, bro.
This is fucking corrupt.
It's changing you, son.
Yeah.
I mean, it's the toxins getting into my son.
But now I am thinking about the tummy.
That's what I'm saying.
There's too many one pieces.
There's something she's hiding.
But I mean, she's absolutely gorgeous.
Stunning.
Let's take a look.
Let's get in there.
Let's get in there.
Solid.
God, you guys.
Get in there.
No, not from the bottom.
Get in there.
Oh, I thought that's the money shot.
No, I don't like that.
She's got a good arch, though.
She's just always in these wild fucking wedgies.
A bad thing.
Ain't the money shot when they like that and then they spread them.
I don't like that.
That's too much.
That's too much.
That's perverse, dude.
That shit is perverse.
I thought that's what y'all people pay.
No, So, what are we looking at here?
Can you hear me to play by player?
Solid.
Solid.
Let's move on.
I don't think they have a standard.
One more thing before.
You think he's Grifton?
You think he's Grifton for the foot community?
They switch it all up.
Didn't he's a foot grifter?
Yeah, bro.
This guy's a fucking shit.
Some Grifton.
Y'all are so jealous because you're not comfortable with it.
He's just another foot community operation, though.
Ariana.
Yeah, I heard this one.
Well, I don't give a fuck about that.
Which one is that?
That's the ponytail girl.
Lindsey Lohan had a baby.
You don't know who Ariana Granny is?
Are you just reading TMZ?
He's breaking the bag.
Guys, we're going to end on this.
Leo Messi is in Miami.
A true Floridian, dude.
Yeah.
Just popping in the Publix.
Just a family.
Just a normal guy.
Just a fucking rainbow.
With the family.
No big deal.
So there is a video of him walking around Publix with his family, which is just like an amazing piece of PR.
It's like letting everybody in Florida know: yo, listen, he's here.
He's just like you.
He's walking around public.
Yeah, he got the tender seven.
Oh, if he got the tenders, then I now, but say the other part where like the video came out that like he almost immediately asked for the car keys from his wife and then just went back into the car.
Yeah, it was almost immediate.
From what I already took a decent number of pictures and was like, I'm done.
He's like, I can't be normal.
Grocery shop.
Who does this?
I can't be around a grocery store.
The idea, it's probably been his entire life since he went grocery shopping.
The kid was sold in football slavery, child football slavery, to Barcelona.
Shout out to Freedom Out this weekend.
I got to go save these little child football kids.
He was sold in child football slavery to Barcelona at 13 years old.
Maybe younger.
Something like that.
11, I thought, maybe.
So I don't think he's ever been to a grocery store.
When would you go?
Let's get him going to a grocery store.
Could it be for a second?
I just want to see what it feels like to be normal.
And then immediately he's like, no, this sucks.
Give me the car keys.
I'm out.
Yeah, that's what I think.
Oh, I thought you were saying it was a PR stunt where they were like, hey, go do normal.
No, he did the PR stunt, and he was like, all right, I'm done.
We got the pictures.
Yeah, I'm saying maybe he was just like, yeah, let's just take, let me just see what this is like.
Let me see what it's like to be.
Maybe he wanted to show me.
And then very quickly he was like, you know what?
This sucks.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe, maybe.
I don't know.
But I think it's great.
It's great that he's here.
But there's no way that he's going to be shopping in.
Ariel said, I think he said this is the biggest moment in American sports history or something like that.
Ariel Hilwani tweeted something, something that was like very like, this is a massive, massive, massive deal.
Yeah, but it's a big moment.
Biggest in American sports history.
I would say big.
Miracle on ice.
I mean, I love messy, but there's like a lot of crazy.
I don't know if it's a hockey thing, Mark.
But no, the geopolitical component of the Cold War, bro.
It's like a great American sports moment.
Yeah, I don't know.
What would you say?
What is it?
People do say that, but that's like...
If you guys were around.
That's like a newsy thing to say.
If you were around at the time, man, newsy thing, what do you mean?
Yeah, like a newscaster says that because they're like, we got it.
You're like a news one.
The greatest moment in American sports history?
Miracle on ice.
I mean, how many people watch Muhammad Ali beat George Foreman?
Yeah, that's got to be out there.
I thought it was the Olympics where the guy.
That?
Very black answer, Al.
Who's that?
Yeah, I forgot the name.
Jesse Owens.
Jesse Owens, yeah.
That was the Jesse Owens.
You just thought that's what I was saying.
I thought you could trust your boy.
I thought you could trust your boy.
Ooh, your white boy?
Oh, that's your boy, huh?
No, I go.
That's your boy.
That was crazy.
I see.
Can't trust fucking Floridians, bro.
Come on.
God damn.
You really hate on that.
But who is it, though?
I still don't.
He's a Black Panther.
I'm for you.
It's the biggest thing in American soccer.
Yeah, we don't need to know history.
Oh, it's the biggest thing in American soccer history, but what's the biggest thing in American sports history?
I'm trying to think.
Most iconic moments.
197s and big boxing matches.
Oh, Joe Lewis taking out Max Schmelling.
World War II.
An American takes out the German in revenge after the German took out the American.
First loss on Joe Lewis's career.
You know what, though?
I like this.
You just spoiled it.
I like this.
No, Max Schmelling was a great man.
He hid Jews during the war.
He refused to go to dinner with Hitler until Hitler made him.
You'd love him.
I like this.
So he beat up a guy that was helping Jews?
Mark.
You're a thorn, Mark.
Why would he do that?
Why would he do that?
Come on.
It's just a thorn.
What about Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier?
Which is such a funny way to shoot.
That's up there.
It's just like baseball, though.
Oh, George W. Bush pitching the first pitch after 9-11.
Fucking heater down the pipe.
Yeah, just like fucking Al-Qaeda.
Yo, who had better.
Who had better say?
No.
These playings are who I was talking about.
Al just pointed to the headline, Jesse Owens wins gold in the 36th Olympics.
He did.
He was like, isn't that what I said?
He did.
That's what I was talking about.
You're talking about this.
Very different.
You're talking about that, dude.
That ain't him?
You think that was 1936, bro?
Son, yeah, they just colorized it now for the word anymore, bro.