Adam22, Jonah Hill, and Keke Palmer dominate this Flagrant episode as hosts dissect Adam22's marriage proposal tricks, his six-day Italian diarrhea ordeal, and his controversial OnlyFans pivot. They debate Mark's girlfriend's surfing photos, analyze Elon Musk's Threads lawsuit against Meta, and scrutinize Colleen Ballinger's alleged grooming of a minor fan. The conversation concludes by examining Salma Hayek's appearance at Michael Rubin's Hamptons party, arguing that women should display their bodies without judgment while billionaires distract themselves from global issues. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Big News From Vacation00:03:03
What's up everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
We are back.
We're back from vacation with big news.
Big news.
Alex Media has committed the rest of his life to a white woman, everybody.
Welcome to the squad, you know what I'm saying?
That makes three of us two.
Come on, Mark.
Get in here, Mark.
I did it on your dark.
I did it on the back side.
Come on, my boy.
Okay, first of all, you did propose.
I did.
Yeah, that's huge.
Like a complete psychopath.
You didn't tell any of us that it was going to happen.
I got to, you know.
Surprise us?
Yeah.
It's better that way.
You guys were super hype.
I mean, we were.
I was.
I was super happy.
We were.
We were hype.
I was more excited than she was.
She wasn't excited.
She was expecting it.
She definitely was expecting it.
Because she did.
I'm not drunk though.
Why is that?
It's going to get one off early.
I was going to say, in the picture you posted, she was like, she was ready for it.
In like the best ways.
Her nails were done.
Like the whole thing.
Her nails are always done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I tricked her by saying, oh, let's just go take a picture.
And then, wow, she was posing for the picture.
Hold on, hold on.
So she knew that it was coming, but none of us knew.
So you saved the proposal for us.
You proposed to us.
Thank you, bro.
I did it for the people.
That's nice, though.
He proposed to you.
Also, it's funny that you were like, she knew I was proposing, but I tricked her by saying, let's take a picture.
Like, you don't think she.
She didn't know when it was coming coming.
She knows during it.
How many times in your relationship have you said, hey, let's take a picture?
I don't mean to pry, but that's not a super thing men do very often.
She might have a point back.
Don't you know she did a proposal?
I'll be taking pictures all the goddamn time, bro.
I just never posed them, but I don't know.
No, but hey, let's pose for a picture.
I'll be taking pictures, but he's like, hey, you and me, let's get it.
She likes to take pictures.
She's a picture person.
She's a picture person, not you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Listen.
Who gives a fuck?
Listen.
Did she help you pick out the ring?
No.
Okay, so there was some surprise there.
It was a big hell of a ring.
Okay.
Thank you.
Well done, dude.
Thank you.
Shout out to fucking WTF Media.
Okay, Weezy.
Every time Lenium proposed, my wife's ring looks smaller and smaller.
That shit irritates the fuck out of me.
Stop getting married.
Is your wife getting a roster upgrade or what?
Nah, because she's so small that I kind of lucked out.
First of all, my small hands can only deal with such small hands.
But a big ring would just look obnoxious, like too big.
At least that's what we've convinced her.
That's a good point.
That's a good point, actually.
That's smart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, listen.
We all came back from vacation.
Akash was in Greece.
Greece.
Having a great time.
I want to go through what everybody.
Mark, you went to nature.
Did you go upstairs?
Mark went to Albany.
You know what I'm saying?
Mark went to the board.
Exactly.
All right.
And then Al, you were in Cabo.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then me and Dove went out there to Europe and Asia.
We went to Asia as well.
The Ring Size Problem00:05:08
You know what I'm saying?
Sweet thing.
We went to Europe and Asia.
Anyway, we're going to go through everything.
I just want to say real quick before we get into it, I just want to say this.
I'm incredibly lucky.
I'm the luckiest person on the fucking planet.
I have this amazing career and I get to work with my friends and it's the best fucking thing in the world.
And I have a woman I love more than anything in the world.
And I'm so lucky.
And I get to work really hard.
I work seven days a week and I'm the luckiest guy on the fucking planet.
Okay.
I work seven days a week and I'm grateful that I get the opportunity to work so hard on something like that.
And then for a couple weekends a year, right?
Two weeks in the summer and then two weeks in the winter, I take a vacation.
That's what I do because I work so fucking hard, right?
Absolutely.
But I'm lucky I get to work that hard.
I'm not saying I deserve it, but I'm lucky.
And I take that vacation.
I take two vacations a year.
They're in the summer, one, and then in the winter, the other.
So there's two times where I get to go away.
Did you mention you work hard?
No, I know.
I work really hard.
I work really hard too.
I do work really hard.
I work really hard.
That's all.
But I'm lucky to work that hard.
Do you know what I'm saying?
It's a blessing that I get to do it.
I'm not saying that I earned anything.
I don't deserve shit, but I do work hard.
Congrats.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I have pure gratitude.
Both been busy.
But for some reason, every time I go on vacation, I am, I'm just power washing toilets with diarrhea every single time.
I don't know.
Listen, I'm grateful I get to even be on vacation.
I'm grateful.
This is not coming from a lack of gratitude.
I'm grateful that when I'm on probably the most expensive hotel on the whole Malfi Coast, I am power washing toilets from the beach to the restaurant all day, non-stop.
And I'm doing that for four days straight.
I've been having diarrhea, so that included for six straight days.
I'm talking to your doctor.
I'm talking to anybody who will listen.
Look at skinny.
Six straight days.
Honestly.
Look at Skiddy.
You can do whatever you want in Italy and then just shit it out.
I thought that.
I hit the scale.
It's a problem.
So I got the diarrhea that just gains weight.
I got a different type of, you know, there's like a good Hotspan and a bad Hotskins.
I got the bad diarrhea.
And I'm just gaining weight and then pissing out of my ass.
And let me tell you something.
It burns so bad that I had to hit the group.
But no, no.
When I say that it burns, this is fucking crazy.
I am doing diarrhea.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I am doing diarrhea.
What are you doing with diarrhea?
I'm diarrhea.
I'm not doing diarrhea.
Mark is queuing up a song or something.
I'm pulling up the group chat.
I'm pulling up literally the group chat.
No, no, I am, I am, I am shitting, okay?
I'm doing diarrhea.
And again, this is every 15 minutes, just peeing out of my ass, okay?
Just pissing, but like with power.
Just fucking, you hear it.
Right?
Like a dove urine stream.
Literally.
I mean, just fucking going for it.
It becomes so painful.
It's so hot.
I thought I had, we had some little spicy tuna or something like that.
And we had a little spicy tuna and I had like an aioli that was maybe spicy when we were in France, right?
Maybe that caught up.
I want you to, it was so hot.
It was so hot.
At one point, it started to get so hot that what I would do is I would shit.
And the second it would come out of my ass, I'd jump and I'd reverse cowgirl the bidet and I just hooked the bidet and I'd shoot the cold water right into my ass to cool it down.
I would have a soaked rag that I would stick in between my feet, right?
That it was nice and cold so I could just cool it down.
I had to constantly cool it down.
But it was so hot and then I'd go back to the toilet and I'd shit it out and through my tank it was pulsating.
My button lips were pulsating.
My taint was pulsating.
It would not stop.
It was painful.
And I was on the toilet and I started, every time I shit, I would just go, ha, ha, to the point where the hotel, the fucking desk people and the concierge came.
I don't know if they thought I was being violent with my wife.
I don't know what it was, but they were, they knocked on the door.
They're like, is everything okay?
Is everything okay?
Is there anything?
Because there's a screaming.
And what did you say?
I was saying, there is a mutiny happening in my body.
There is a mutiny happening in my body.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's so hot.
I somehow get through the night.
I go upstairs the next morning to the desk is two Italian women.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then the concierge is an Italian man.
And then the owner of the hotel is walking this way as well.
I'm a little too embarrassed to admit to the Italian women that I've been diarrhea for the last two fucking days non-stop.
I go to the concierge and I go up to him and I really quiet.
I go, hey, do you have anything?
You know, my stomach, I have a little bit of diarrhea.
And they're, oh, quack, what, what do you have?
Diaria.
Like I start to say, daddy.
If it's an Italian accent.
And then they get it.
Dadea.
Now, Italians are two things.
They are helpful and they're loud.
Yeah, Which is a horrible combination, death.
Whispering About Diarrhea00:07:04
When you have diarrhea, this guy, knowing that I'm fucking whispering to him, goes, oh, you have the diarrhea.
Modizio!
Modizio, what can we do to fix the shit to make it shit to stick together more?
Oh, you have to take the dolce for the miti or something like that.
There's like a specific type of diarrhea.
They're having an out loud interaction near the check-in.
Guests are checking in, and I'm just like locked in between this as these Italians are screaming back and forth.
What I have to take.
Other people in the lobby?
Oh, eight people in the lobby.
Eight people in the lobby minimum.
The rest of the trip is them coming up to me going, how is the diarrhea?
Is everything good?
Could you take the lemon or squeeze the lemon and take one shot of lemon?
Like their little fucking home remedies to like fix my diarrhea.
Bro, believe the name because, but, but not only was it the worst fucking diarrhea I've ever had, there.
Okay?
He's at the hotel, okay?
Which is like a cool thing.
And I have my compliment that I'm going to give him that has nothing to do with what he's good at, which is a nice way to go in.
You're the best comedic actor of any athlete.
That's right.
When the moment presents itself, I'm going to do it, but I'm not going to force it.
I let the famous people let them have it.
We're walking to the hotel.
There's a tunnel that's bored out of the rock to go to this hotel.
It's a fucking 50 yards.
Emma and I walk in.
Walks behind us and passes us, right?
So he's on his way.
Looking like fucking.
He got the fucking sunglasses that got the little thing.
I love that.
He got the hat.
I love it.
He got the hat that got the tie here.
The hat is hanging a sunscreen on the nose.
He is fucking, he is from America.
He's dead.
Like athletic.
He is from America and he wants everybody to know.
Okay?
He's not trying to hide who he is.
No.
He passes us.
An elevator opens.
He knows we're also going to the elevator.
Goes into the elevator.
I can hear him slamming the closed door.
Yeah.
We call that goal line defense.
Bro.
Goal line defense on Emma and I getting into slamming the fucking button like this.
So that's prevent defense.
Bro, we get to.
We get, we get, we actually, I see how much he doesn't want to have this interaction.
So I wait for a little bit.
The door doesn't close with his slamming for another five seconds.
So I go, fuck it.
We're going in.
Yeah, you sag him.
We go in.
We're in the elevator.
The elevator is the size of this fucking table.
It is so small.
It is so small.
You know, elevators in Europe are terrified.
They're so small.
We get in the elevator.
As we walk in, he puts on his hat and just tucks his face like this.
Like we're not going to notice it's fucking a 6'6 quarterback.
Yeah.
Forehead from the lobby.
I felt it as he walked by.
Bro, and it was just the most uncomfortable thing.
You didn't say a word?
He saw your compliment coming.
He didn't want to deal with it.
He didn't want anything.
I wish you powered through, though.
I wish you just looked at me and were like, honestly, man.
I did say something.
I did say something.
No, I think the hotel snitched on you.
Bro, they might have snitched on you.
He was afraid of the diarrhea.
Maybe he didn't want to catch his.
Oh, maybe he thought it was contagious.
Yeah.
He could have been nerdy.
He could have been worried about that.
That is a good point.
I'll give him that much.
But yeah.
Or he didn't know you have diarrhea, had the room next door and thought you were just getting fucked in your ass.
I mean, I was getting fucked in my ass for the last six months.
Why does it group chat?
Like, what we're not doing.
At this point, I was desperate.
I was desperate.
For what, though?
Al stepped in.
Yeah.
What was Al's advice?
Mine's fixed it.
What was your advice?
His advice was: I started to Google his advice.
And he's like, bro, take Vic's vapor rub, shove it up your ass.
Dumbass advice.
That's how I go to bed every night, bro.
Come on, man.
Did you have any close calls where it's like you couldn't make it to the toilet or something?
Oh, yeah.
And the way you shit, buddy.
You know, like a Paris bed.
You already don't have a bad thing.
A Paris bed, you know?
No, I mean, I was concerned on the way back because I tried to risk it.
I was taking a modium to just pack it in.
And it was working.
And I was at the airport and I took my first hard shit in days.
And I was like, oh, I'm better now.
I texted him.
He's like, all good.
I was like, what'd you do?
He's like, I just stuffed myself with bread and emodium.
I was like, you're not better, dude.
You just stopped yourself from shitting for a little bit.
My wife also said that.
She's like, you're not better, dude.
And I was like, yeah, I am.
Let's go get a fucking gelato.
Right?
So we went to Benchy, which is in the airport.
It's amazing.
And we got a nice gelato and I had that and I had four slices of pizza inside the lounge.
Okay, because I figured that's what you eat right when you overcome brutal diarrhea.
Did you pop the champagne?
Did it just like rip out?
I popped the first hard shit, golden.
I'm like, I'm good.
I get on the plane, hard shit again.
I'm like, this is great.
Nope, two corks.
Then, right after the hard shit, it was followed by a soft shit within the same shit.
Yeah, dude.
I'm like, this isn't good at all.
I'm back in there 15 minutes later, power rushing the back of this fucking toilet in the airplane.
There's no bidet, though.
Bro, it was so bad that the pilots needed to poop.
But they can't leave the area unless it's free so they could block it off.
So I got the flight attendant banging on the door, going, Sir, you need to get out of the bathroom.
The pilots need to use the bathroom.
They can't use it if you're in this area.
I have the diarrhea.
And I got out, and it was so bad.
She had to brew a pot of coffee.
You're lying.
Pour the coffee into the toilet, into my ass, into the toilet to get rid of the smell.
There's no way.
Crazy.
This is every time I go.
Every time I go.
I went to Columbia, same thing fucking happened to me.
I went to St. Bard, same thing fucking happened to me.
They poured coffee into the toilet?
Yeah.
She poured a whole fucking thing across me to get rid of the smell.
She's like, I got it for you.
Don't worry.
See, this happens to a lot of Americans when they go to, I'm like, whatever, lady.
Thank you so much.
I never heard.
Never.
She was trying to make me feel better after I shit for 30 minutes in a bathroom.
How do you get third-world diarrhea in a first-world country?
Bro, I don't fucking know.
These French people do.
And we had the same meals as him the entire time.
Was it Turkey?
I don't know if you can blame the French for this.
No, just the first blamed sushi at the best place in San Trope.
And we're like, nah, we good.
They ate the same thing.
Nothing happened to them.
It just happened to me.
Same thing happened in Columbia.
It's the bread.
Yeah, because you don't eat bread when you're out here because you're trying to get a break.
I eat bread every day.
I just say I don't eat bread.
I'm like, you with white women.
White woman.
Hello, white woman.
I mean, dude.
Yeah.
This is like your period.
It happens twice a year.
Bro.
And you just get fucking cranky and you're shitting everywhere and it sucks.
French Food And Third-World Stomachs00:16:06
Tour announcements.
Amsterdam, we're coming.
You thought we weren't coming, but we are coming, okay?
October 17th.
We're going to be there.
Amsterdam tickets are on sale right now.
Go right now, dandruffschults.com.
Go get those tickets while they last.
October 17th, we're there.
Glasgow sold out.
Thank you so much.
Manchester sold out.
London sold out.
Thank you so much.
Dublin, we still got some tickets left.
Go get those before they're gone.
TheandrelSchultz.com.
Thank you all so much.
I appreciate you.
Can't wait to get out there.
Peace.
Also, guys, tour dates.
First of all, thank you so much.
All three shows for the Houston special taping are fully sold out.
We appreciate the fuck out of you.
Also, July 12th, I'm going to be in Huntsville, Alabama.
July 13th, 14th, and 15th, I'm in Nashville.
That's this week.
And the 13th and 14th are already sold out in Nashville.
So hurry up and cop tickets for the 15th.
Also, South Burlington, Vermont on the 20th, Albany, New York on the 21st.
Guys, get your tickets to all those dates and more at Akasing.com.
Now let's get back to the show.
And what is your sweet wife a couple of years?
I mean, you guys are on vacation finally.
You're not working, you know, one week out of here.
I mean, the first half of the vacation was absolutely phenomenal.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
Solid, just firm.
So great.
We're in Bodrum.
Firm.
Yeah.
It was just fucking phenomenal.
But the back half was just, I don't understand why it happens to me every single time.
Every single time.
I think you don't understand food, man.
You don't know what you're eating and what you're not eating.
This motherfucker tells me about Greece.
I'm telling him how beautiful it is.
He's like, how's the food?
I'm like, man, we haven't really found anything good.
He goes, I think you don't understand food.
I do think it's so insulting when you say that.
And I'm so happy that you don't understand food.
Your body is just like, get this out of it.
You don't get food.
You don't get food.
You're used to eating slop.
There's a difference between the food.
The base food of France.
That's not the best food.
Indian food?
Indian food.
Best food.
Oh, it's up there.
You could say it's debatably the best.
It's the best slop.
It's slob.
It's good slop.
Compare that to the food.
If you need to feed 2 billion people, it's a good job.
It's a prison food.
I said, compared to slop slop.
You know what I mean?
They should give it to the people in prison.
There'd be way less butt-fucking.
There'd be way less people in prison if they just had Indian food there.
I think it's good to feed 2 billion people.
You need to do that.
You can mass produce the food.
It's good.
But it's not like the elites.
Nobody's going to be a food.
It's elite.
Oh, it's elite.
Y'all crazy.
It's elite.
It's fried and it's butter.
You're going to do okay.
No, that's not all fried.
It's cream and it's butter, really, if you knew anything, white boy.
What is butter?
What is butter?
Yeah.
Milk, cream.
It's not fries.
No, it's just butter and butter.
So your whole cuisine is dairy.
So it's Italian food.
You'll be working them cows and then acting like you don't fucking abuse them.
That's why we don't.
You know what I'm saying?
That's why we don't.
Yo, that's an interesting.
Y'all be fucking the life out of them cows.
Well, you won't eat them.
Just eat them, yo.
Pimp them out.
Double down.
Put them out of the misery.
Yeah, real talk.
Eat them.
That's crazy.
It might be more abusive, but you guys do have a bad thing.
You guys are turning them out for 20 years.
We need them so we don't kill them.
That's it.
Need them so you don't kill them.
Yeah, we need them.
We need them.
We need the milk.
We need everything.
We need every part of this cow.
Don't kill it.
Yeah.
It's not like, oh, you're God.
It's like, we need you're a slave.
Yeah, no, the god is slow.
We need slaves.
The god is butter.
Yeah, that's the god order.
And better our slaves than your slaves.
That's true.
Slavery's bad.
Slavery is really bad, even when it's a cow.
Okay.
That's a crazy statement.
Yeah, that was great.
Wait, who said the crazy one?
You said they're slaves.
What am I supposed to say?
They are your slaves.
They're your butter slaves.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
You have butterfruits.
And then my response is valid.
But you're also like, we cows are gods, but you wouldn't enslave God.
Well, cows are sacred.
They're not God.
They're sacred.
They're sacred.
Okay.
All right, fair enough.
Listen, point being, the food is, Indian food is okay.
I don't know if anybody ever puts it.
It's elite food.
It's the thing white people love saying they love Indian food.
That's a thing.
We love it every once in a while.
Okay, I'll give you Italian food.
I'll be fun every once in a while, not every day.
I'll give you Italian.
What else?
What's really like fucking for sure?
French, French, French, French.
Shut the fuck up, French food.
French baked food.
French fried.
No, I mean, yeah, stay freed.
Come on.
Stay with me.
Stay freed is just steak and fries.
It's not French.
You can't just give it food.
Let's keep doing this because then you'll realize you don't know food if we keep talking this out.
French food, overrated.
Wildly overrated.
But what I think you're going to realize is you're going to keep overrating the best food, and then you're going to be like, oh, maybe I don't get.
No, I gave you Italian.
I'll give you Italian.
Right, right, right.
Greek.
Greek food.
Oh, it's the same thing, bro.
It's the same thing.
I'm going Indian over Greek.
Thank you.
Indian over green.
Come on, son.
They're not doing enough.
Flavor's India for sure.
Have you been to Greece?
Yeah, no, I have.
I was never to Greece.
Yeah, but they're not doing enough.
Now, to be fair, I haven't been to Greece either, but we're about fresh fish.
You know what I'm saying?
That's not a Greece.
They claim fresh fish.
They invented fish.
The Greeks invented fish.
If you ask the Greeks, they'll say we did.
They invented everything.
They invented everything.
The Greeks invented Indian food.
So technically, bro, Greek Indian food.
They actually did.
Alexander the Great made it all the way to India.
Probably gave you anything good about your cuisine.
To be honest with you, what is that?
Oh, God.
That's why I went this way and not this way.
You know what I mean?
I barely consciously chose to go verbal.
I thought you were doing Alexander the okay.
Okay, okay.
While we are talking about vacations, I want to hear each of your experiences.
Then later we can get back to ours.
Greece, you loved it.
You were in love with it.
I had no idea how beautiful it was.
That sounds stupid, probably, but like Santorini, I was like, holy shit, I'm in a postcard.
This is fucking unreal.
The water's like immaculately blue.
The houses are all white because that they didn't have AC, so that just reflects the sun the best.
That's the reason.
Yeah.
And then the roofs are all blue.
And I think that's because they're Greek colors.
So it's all white houses, blue roofs.
And it's just like picturesque on that side.
Then you turn around and it's a beautiful water on top of a cliff from a volcanic eruption a few thousand years ago.
Volcanoes be doing some ill shit, breath.
Yeah.
You know, once the land rebuilds, it's fucking gorgeous.
Mykono, still beautiful, more fun than Santorini.
And then Athens, I really did feel like, all jokes aside, I was like, oh, this is like Europe's India.
Like they're super ancient.
They're very proud of their culture, very proud of their heritage.
Tons of history.
You go.
And when you talked about like seeing the pyramids, this is obviously way more recent, but still the Parthenon is like 2,500 years old, 500 years before the Coliseum.
And it's fucking like, how did y'all do this?
Yeah.
And it really, I kept thinking about the Graham Hancock episode.
I was like, yeah, man, humans.
Either 2,500 years old.
2,500, 500 years before Christ, 500 or 550, I think, BC.
Wow.
It's insane, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
And then we went to this place.
We did like a tour.
Like, we're going to take one.
And it's amazing.
It's like set on the top of this.
Like, I don't even want to call it a mountain, but maybe it is.
And most of it is damaged from, I think, oh, yo, yo, they also fucking hate Turkey, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
Turkey.
And yeah, they loved Indians because we side against any Muslim.
So we're like, yo, Greece over Turkey.
And he's kept being, the tour guy kept being like, we love you.
Please don't leave us.
Son, can I tell you something so interesting about European tour guides?
They be upfront with their research.
No, it's crazy.
There's no professionalism.
They don't see this racism.
That's like sports.
It's literally like football.
My guy in Turkey was taking us around Istanbul and he straight up said it's like, yeah, you know, in Turkey, this is like an educated, thoughtful human being, right?
Like we could talk about philosophy, history, whatever it is, right?
He's traveled the entire world and he does these tour trips, not just in his own country, but all around the world.
Like he's very well, well read.
And he just goes, yeah, the one people we don't like here, it's just Arabs.
And I go, wait, what?
And he goes, he goes, yeah, it's the Arabs.
Like, anybody can come to Istanbul.
We welcome anybody.
You know what I mean?
But when the Arabs come, it's always a problem.
And I go, what do you mean?
Catalyst, get on the mic.
Get on the mic.
Yo, yo, he likes the Arabs.
They do not fuck with Arabs.
And I go, where does this come from?
And he goes, he goes, it probably comes from World War I during the Ottoman Empire.
The Arab states were controlled by the Ottomans and they sided with the British.
Ah.
Okay.
So they kind of like turned their backs against the Ottomans, I guess.
And then, you know, Turks, they don't forget, my boy.
Petty.
Petty king.
He did not forget at all.
This whole region don't forget.
Greeks still upset about Greece.
Yeah.
Bro, they're furious.
And Armenians right now is like, fuck all of them.
Bro.
Oh, another thought I had.
First of all, Parthenon, mostly destroyed, still gorgeous, but we did like a whole day tour.
So they drove us like an hour and a half outside of the city.
And my wife and I, for a second, were like, is this like a hostage?
What's going on right now?
Why the fuck are we in the middle of nowhere?
Then he took us to the Temple of Poseidon, which is a temple built for Poseidon on this beautiful water, this beautiful landscape.
And I remember thinking, if you see this beauty, this is why you think there is a god of water.
Because this is so fucking gorgeous.
If you look up Temple of Poseidon, you're like, there has to be a God for just this.
Yep.
It can't be one God doing all that.
And then this is so beautiful.
It's fucking unbelievable.
I should have sent videos, but like that was like, I was like, oh, I see how this is a polytheistic country religion, whatever.
Yeah.
I was like, this is unbelievable.
So that's the temple.
And then if you look at the water on the other side of the temple, yeah, you build, yeah, you build a, you build a temple for whoever made this.
No question, there's a god of water.
It's just like, you can't believe anything else.
All of Greece is like that from what I saw.
Yeah, that's a good point.
If you don't worship the nature, your nature sucks.
Yeah.
That's really what it is, dude.
Yeah.
If you're out here having like deities of like the sun and shit, it's like, oh, you don't get any sun.
Yeah, there's no sun god in Scotland.
Which maybe if they were, if they worship the sun, maybe they wouldn't.
Yeah.
That's what they're missing.
Bible belt's all ugly.
Yeah.
And so they believe in Jesus because Jesus could do all this.
Yeah.
I mean, Long Die can handle that.
Do you guys have a water god in India?
Is there like an ocean god?
No, we don't have a water god.
So we don't have gods of things.
That's the problem.
India don't have the natural beauty that Greece has.
That's the problem, dude.
That's the mud gods now.
That's too far.
What is all of that?
No, what is that?
What was that one Pokemon?
What's that one mud?
It's the God of Scottish women.
The god of Scottish women.
The god of Scottish women is probably fucking Dumbledore or something.
They don't look like him.
They look exactly like that motherfucker.
I think that's the mud guy, bro.
I think it's that.
Yeah.
What is that?
That's muck, dude.
Dude, that's the McDonald's shake.
What is that though?
The grimaces.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Greek is just, Greece is just absolutely stunning.
Dude, I could not.
And I think you, I kept, I kept texting you.
I think you in particular would love Greece.
Yeah.
It has a history, it has a natural beauty.
I think you would fucking do it.
Was it too busy in the parts you were at, though?
We went to like, yeah, we just shouts to Sudip, our tour guide, who I think is about to be your travel agent or our travel agent, I mean, but he just booked the whole thing and he was like, just do the hits.
Athens, Mikino, Santorini.
You're going to be fine.
You're not going to be like, oh, this is too, it's great.
And we planned it on very short notice, if y'all remember.
So he just handled everything.
And we just, it was great.
Yeah, you went to Crete.
Yeah, that shit was fire.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the hits are hits for a reason.
Yeah, that's also the other thing.
Like when you're planning these vacations, there's two things that you never go wrong.
One, with the hits.
Two, where the rich people go.
Yeah.
Like, rich people don't work.
So their whole life is figuring out how to distract themselves in the best way until they die.
Yeah.
So they invent like Santrope and it's perfect.
They figured it out.
Yeah.
They found the most beautiful place.
Yeah.
They kept it away enough from people.
Yeah.
And then they built all the beautiful restaurants.
They learned.
They know how to party.
Like they figured the whole thing out.
Does it freak you out, though, when you're in that environment?
Like when it's like full like white lotus vibes?
And you're just like, all these people would fucking murder me in one second if they could.
No.
If it benefited them, they would all murder me.
No.
No.
You don't care?
No, I don't.
Because I don't even look at them like that.
Like every, especially in a place like Santrope, it's like everybody's so like isolated in their partying.
Like Santrope for me would be great if we had a big group.
If there's eight or 10 of us, you go there.
You have your own party that's within another party that also has its own party.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
It's like you're not all partying together.
Yeah.
It's the interviewer partying while other people are partying, and you feel comfortable being loud because they're all so loud.
And everyone has enough money to get their own thing, and you don't have to feel like there's an in-group in it.
They figured it out.
Like, they figured it out.
There's a reason why rich people go.
Yeah.
Because they cannot.
That's true.
They cannot go.
Their life is a vacation.
Their life is a vacation.
Yeah.
And they need these fun things to distract themselves.
And Greece has parts of that where you went.
Like Mikinos and Santorini is perfect examples of that.
You know, where you have great partying, unmatched beauty.
To a beach bar, and I was having the time of my life at a bar, drinking fucking virgin mango juices or whatever I was drinking.
But that's the vibe, though.
Also, it's like the day party.
Yeah.
Oh, that's perfect for you.
Let me tell you something.
You start to go to bed at 83.
Let me tell you something about these fucking rich people, bro.
Tell you about fucking rich people.
You got to tell me.
Let me tell you about these fucking riches, bro.
First of all, and any shit that I learn, you already know.
I'm telling you.
Rich people hate me.
Every tax thing, I see that one tax thing about how people pay cash for their shit without actually using cash.
I see that go viral.
Let me let you all know.
Anything I learn from a rich, I'm telling you immediately.
Fuck these riches, bro.
Exactly.
I'm telling everybody.
Nobody's going to be rich.
We got an inside AJ.
But it's up to me.
Nobody's going to be rich.
Okay.
So this is the thing that they figured out, bro.
They made the most fun partying shit acceptable for old people.
Like the day party.
Day party exists because these old rich motherfuckers can't stay up until one in the morning.
They're not up until one.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like they're up until 11.
So you partying at lunch on the beach from noon till five.
Maybe you take a nap and then you go to dinner and then you're partying till it's early.
It's condensed.
Can you go out late?
Sure, with the young and the poor.
But the rich needs a sleep before they go.
The beauty of partying in Europe in the summer, and I'm telling you this.
I'm almost like, if you're young, don't go.
Don't go because you'll ruin it for yourself when you're old.
Yeah.
You go there when you're old and it's like, oh, I don't feel like the old guy at the club.
You see young people there and you're like, what are you doing here?
It's like seeing an adult in Disney World without kids.
You're like, what's going on?
Oh, yeah, you're right.
That's young people in the club.
Not women, by the way.
They don't count as young people.
Young men.
But women's ages don't change.
There's one thing that stays consistent.
Women stay 25.
They stay 25 years old.
But in Central Pay, the clubs are taken over by 16, 17 years old.
That's their right of passage so that they want to keep coming back later.
Go have fun at their little club.
And they come back when they're older.
I'm drinking a nice wedding.
I'm in bed by 9:30, blasting through the shooting stove.
Okay, I'm telling you.
I got diarrhea.
I have a gut biome issue because I'm an old man partying in Europe in the summer.
Oh, fuck.
It is, oh, it's so fucked.
Thank you, riches, for figuring out life at an older age.
Is there a health focus, you think?
They're all trying to work out and shit and like they don't want to be up all night?
Some of them are like that.
Yeah.
Some of them are like some of the riches, and they're like, I need to stretch out this richness.
Yeah, try to live forever.
Yeah, there's the live forever riches, but like the real riches, bro, they're like, I need to get to hell already.
Riches Trying To Live Forever00:04:48
I've done enough bad on this earth.
They smoking bogies, bro.
They don't give a fuck.
Oh, it's great.
There are some of those riches.
I feel like that's the new riches that are like, I need to stretch this thing out.
The Jeff Bezos and such.
Right.
But the old riches, they.
The generational riches.
The generational riches are just like, bro, I've been rich so long.
I don't need to be 90.
Were you hearing family names?
You're like, oh, I'm trying to think.
No, not really.
Like a job that anyone tells you, like, oh, yeah, that's the guy from whatever.
I mean, Dove knew every single human being that walked in there before you even walked in.
Oh, okay.
So, was he lacing you up being like, oh, this guy, whatever, whatever?
Dove is texting me random things that are just like so out of my scope of reality.
He's like, he goes, I guess, I'm full, like day three diarrhea.
Like, I can't.
I can barely, I have to make sure I'm within like 30 seconds run from a toilet at any point.
Yeah, it is bad.
It is bad.
Okay.
I just maybe have AIDS, but it is.
I would have taken AIDS over what I had to do.
And the mustache.
Dub just messages me and he goes, There's this guy that is in his super yacht in Copri and wants to know if you're willing to take a helicopter ride from your hotel in Amalfi to go have lunch with him in Copri on the boat.
On the boat.
That's fine.
I mean, that's a good test.
What an asshole Dove is.
No, no, no.
Like, I'm like, what a fucking wild world this is.
That, like, that's a different level of wealth.
Okay.
Where they're like, I'll just send a helicopter to you and then we'll retrieve you.
Yeah.
And then you'll come to my boat and have lunch.
And when we finish lunch, we will send you back.
That's true.
It's not a.
And the only thing I think of is, I ain't making it on a helicopter.
That's been a whole lot.
There is no way I'm fucking napalm in the fucking Viet Con.
It's going to be crazy.
We're coming in hot.
Then I'll text the billionaire.
He's got some stomach problems.
Maybe.
I told him straight up.
They got a pot of coffee on that helicopter.
Wild.
Damn.
Was he in his element, though?
I feel like.
Oh, dude, he was killing it.
Wait, so you didn't go?
Let me tell you something.
No, no, I didn't go.
I didn't go.
I didn't even move off of the property.
I didn't even move off the property.
There'll be other opportunities.
Unless they can lift the toilet out, dude.
Bro, there's no way.
It was, yeah, yeah, it was, it was crazy.
But no, Dove was in his fucking day.
It is, Dove did this most amazing thing.
This is his element.
Like, this is his true gift.
This is what he's true.
He's great at a lot of things, but what he's truly great at is not taking no for an answer.
This is what is true.
Skill is like it lately.
This is also true skill is not taking no for an answer.
It sounds crazy, but his it.
This is amazing.
It's like he wants the no.
It's like he wants, it's like if we called for a reservation somewhere and they just said yes, it'd be like, come on, what is going on?
This place is beneath us.
It's beneath us.
Why would they let us in?
You know what I mean?
What type of pathetic place would allow us to be there?
You know, we need to manipulate the situation.
It didn't matter what it was.
The place is closed.
There's not enough food left.
There is a fucking atomic bomb.
It wouldn't matter the situation.
He is finagling and moving and grooving and saying, I don't even know what the guy's saying that I'm doing because I know it's coming back on me in some way.
Oh, yeah.
And probably bad.
Do you know what I mean?
Because he's using me to lie.
He's lying about me to get into the place.
Yeah, you owe someone something.
Oh, I know.
Yeah, I know.
We're going to be in Prague one day and a guy's going to come up to me like, where's my fucking 100 million?
Yeah, you got to perform for my daughter's army.
But he's always played the part.
He just doesn't question it.
Just stand in the corner over there.
Stand in the corner.
Every door open.
Unbelievable.
Every door.
It was truly mind-boggling.
That was fun.
Great job, though.
Yeah, excellent.
Yeah.
We're now talking about it wasn't about a girl.
It was about girls.
Oh, no, no.
Preservations.
A girl, a thing to go into.
That's because they always say yes, right?
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Did they say yes?
Nah, I got nothing.
I didn't see too many women in these pictures.
I watched Jewish matchmaking.
I'm focused now.
Really?
You're saying you didn't see women with Dove?
With Dove.
Because we came with our...
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Jewish Matchmaking In Tel Aviv00:06:05
It was like two couples and Dove, and I was wondering.
Shout out to Jason.
I just want to say hi to Jason.
You're the greatest boat diver I've ever seen.
I was crying.
I was almost as bad as Alice.
Bro.
Dude, no, it was worse than that.
It was worse.
It was worse.
Because Al gave up.
Jason tried and family.
Jason's just full body.
Dude, Jason tried and his whole foot just gave up, bro.
You knew he was Jewish just from the junk.
As you're going to see, like, just in the way his feet were moving.
I probably watched that 100 times.
It's also funny because you had a backflip, impressive Dub, perfect dive.
And then it was like the second time I watched it and I saw feet just at this angle.
I was like, what the fuck is happening?
And there's a moment in the air where he just gives up, and that's my favorite moment.
I see this moment.
He just goes against me.
He's just, oh, fuck it.
Like he's trying to turn it around.
He goes, no, it's not going to happen.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
So tell me, tell me, tell me.
Al, Cabo.
Cabo.
So I smuggled my mom into Mexico.
Yo, this is crazy.
How?
Because her passport didn't come in time.
And I was like, nah, we're going on this trip.
So me, I'm doing all my little research.
Did she know you're proposing?
YouTube, yeah.
She did.
That's why I really wanted her there.
And also, she's never been to Mexico before, so I wanted her to be there.
And so passport didn't come in time.
I'm doing a whole bunch of research in terms of like all these real IDs, enhanced IDs.
Can we cross the border?
So I figure out that we're going to fly to LA.
We're driving to Tijuana, hopping on a plane.
Once you're in Mexico, you can travel just with an ID.
So we did that, get to Tijuana, fly to Cabo.
How'd they let you into Mexico without a passport?
They don't check anything when you go into Mexico.
Nobody's trying to sneak into Mexico.
Well, you are.
Yeah.
No, but I mean, like, nobody's trying to sneak in and stay.
Yeah.
So they don't even ask for your passport when you drive across.
When you drive across, they don't ask for anything.
Okay, so how do you get back?
That was the issue.
So now, same thing on the way back.
And now we're in this long-ass fucking line waiting to cross the border.
And that's where it's like, my mom's freaking out in the back, but I'm telling her, I'm like, mom, I've seen two YouTube videos where they did this shit.
And they were good.
We're going to be good.
And so we get to the finally get to the border or whatever.
They take all the IDs.
I purposely don't give my passport because I was like, let's two of us not have passports.
So we'll be all right.
Yeah.
So he just pulls us up in the system.
He asks her, he's like, oh, have you ever been to Mexico before?
She said, no.
He's like, all right, cool.
Have a good day.
Wow.
So wait, you said you lost your passport?
No, I just didn't come with it.
Because if you're driving, especially in New York, we have enhanced IDs.
You're allowed to drive across the border.
Does your mom have the enhanced ID?
She just has a regular joint.
Yeah.
We got to secure the border.
Yeah, secure the border.
But that's what I'm saying.
But everybody's in the system.
So it's like once you pull up the person's name, you see the face matches, you're good to go.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
So she had some form of ID.
She could look at the colours.
Got it, Oh, my God.
It was an hour of waiting in that line, just like fretting.
I'm like, fuck, are we going to have to do another 28 days or something like that?
What would you have done if your mom got stopped?
You just stayed in Mexico.
Yeah, because we had some more days of the vacation.
It'd be like, yeah, good content.
Yeah, that's ballsy, dude.
Yeah.
So the reason why my girl knew about the proposal, because I was planning on doing it, I fly to LA a couple days early, forgot the ring at home.
No.
Wow.
So I'm like, fuck, the whole situation that I was going to do, I'm not going to be able to do it.
My mom was already saying that she wasn't going to come because the passport wasn't there.
And so I'm like, nah, ma, you're coming.
Because if you come, then you can go to New York, get the ring, bring it.
So that's why it was like, I told my girl, I was like, fuck, I had a plan to do this or whatever while we were there, but I forgot the ring.
And then I had my mom break it.
So it's like, that's why she kind of didn't know that it was going to happen.
She thought it wasn't going to happen.
That's why you wanted your mom to go.
So you were willing to risk your mother going to prison in a foreign country.
I wanted my mom to have experiences, you know, to see when I saw you post.
The first picture you posted was you want to yacht with your mom.
And I'm in Bodrum and this.
I was like, I'm such a piece of shit.
Al is taking his mom on trips on yachts.
And it was so thank God you proposed.
I was like, okay, that makes more sense.
Yeah.
So funny.
I saw that.
I didn't feel like a piece of shit at all.
This is exactly where I'm supposed to be right now.
I'm supposed to be right here.
My mom's supposed to be where she is.
I know you weren't raised Jewish.
Yeah, that's how you can tell.
She's not fucked.
Because you have another woman that you promised your life to.
Oh, that's also true.
You should have brought your mom.
Yeah.
Why didn't you bring your mom?
Yeah.
I'm in European tour.
Are you bringing your mom to Scotland?
Yes.
I'm bringing mom in Tel Aviv Morocco or something.
Yeah.
Tel Aviv?
Well, why Tel Aviv?
She's not from there.
She doesn't have any connectivity to that.
Should I bring my mom to Tel Aviv?
Like, my grandparents are buried there.
Her father.
Oh, Dove pointed that out so fucking fast when we were in Israel, bro.
When we were in Israel, dude, we're on the fucking, what is it called?
The Olive Mount of Olives.
Oh, yeah, the Mount of Olives or whatever.
Oh, my grandparents are buried here.
My grandparents are buried here.
Listen to how cheap these people.
Both of them are in the same casket.
No.
They got a two for one.
They got a two for one on the fucking mountain of olives.
69 for five.
This is a crazy situation.
6090 forever, dude.
That's crazy.
That is crazy.
A two for one, bro.
My grandma is buried in Mount of Olives.
My other grandpa buried somewhere else.
You can't be buried in the Mount of Olives now.
That's how sacred it is.
Really?
When the rapture comes, it's going to happen there.
They're going to take you out first.
Piece of shit.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
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Freshening Up Old Skills00:12:13
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Now let's get back to the show.
Mark, tell us about the wilderness, okay?
You could have been in Santa Pey with us.
You could have been hanging out, but instead you decided to go to the wilderness.
To save money.
I think I have two more tries of.
Bullshit.
That's not to save money.
Don't say that.
That's the main reason.
This is such a lie.
Just so I can say it.
Say the real fucking reason.
I don't want to hang out with you guys.
Okay.
That's the real reason.
Say that right.
Can you say why?
Yeah.
My girl had to work.
So she literally was like, I got time off.
And I was like, amazing.
And then we looked at shit four days.
I was like, that's not going to work.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was like, all right.
Where'd you go?
What?
You could have been like, Dove and just go.
Yeah, alone.
But then I would have to leave my girl.
I offered her a lot.
She leaves you to work.
That's what I'm saying.
I should have had you when we were arguing about it.
I was there.
Yeah, we leave her all the time.
Yeah, it's just hard to be in Santa Pey with the guys.
Is it tough?
Does it work?
Is it hard?
It's a little tough.
I was third wheeling them this whole trip.
We're fine.
He's a great third wheel.
Yeah.
He's a great third wheel.
Yeah, he's the greatest.
But yeah, it was fun.
It was a great time.
We went upstate.
We went to Woodstock, which is the worst part of upstate, I think.
It's just a whole town stuck in the past for an event that never happened there.
I don't understand why these people are so obsessed with it.
It did it.
It happened an hour and a half away.
Not an hour and a half.
Bethel, New York is literally like an hour away.
And all these people moved there and they're all in like some weird fucking spiritual shit.
Our waiter was like, let me tell you about feng shui.
And then told us why me and my girl were compatible.
I was like, what is going on?
Yeah, it's rich hippies.
Like the rich hippies in New York go, I don't want to be in the Hamptons because that's where like just the rich people only care about money go.
So if you're like a rich person who you think you care about the world and earth and connectivity, you got to find another place.
That's what's.
That's what it was.
Yeah.
And they were just all caught up in this thing that happened 50 years ago.
And I was like, all right.
That's why when you want to follow the riches, just follow the most dirtbag versions of the people.
Yes.
I'm telling you, they got it.
Like the riches that like want to be good people, they create the worst places.
Paper straws.
You got to walk everywhere.
No Ubers.
Not enough.
You need a fucking blood-sucking rich.
Follow them to the end of the earth.
Agreenif them to the end.
I'm telling you.
You need somebody Alex Jones doesn't like.
Yes.
Yes.
Put them on a.
Soroses or something.
Yeah.
Vacation there.
Okay.
So Tubba, so you're up in the wilderness.
Did you get your fix?
I know you really wanted wilderness.
Great to.
You got your fix.
Now, can you get that at Central Park?
Can you just go to the park and do it?
It's the same trees, really, if you think about it.
It's similar trees, but there's a lot of you people.
You know what I mean?
Oh, this is that.
You want more hippies there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I don't want you to think that's a he made it a point to look at these two side.
I know it sounds weird.
I mean black people.
It was even better.
There's a lot of black people there.
And no, but like, I just don't, I don't know.
Yeah, I want to be like kind of away from it a little.
Just like peeing outside is nice.
Yeah.
And you can do that in such a park, I guess.
I've seen people do it.
Did you get a cabin?
Yeah.
So you didn't do the Winnebago thing?
No, no, no, no, we didn't do that.
But we did two.
So we did one that was like a cabin that was nothing.
And then we did another one that was super nice that ended up being so expensive.
And I was like, how did you find this?
And she was like, oh, I just was Googling.
I was like, what?
How much?
How much?
It was like $1,000 a night.
It was like a G at night to go stay in the woods.
And when I tell you there's the woods, the crazy thing is, dude, we say good rich people are bad for the environment, bro.
Good rich people are just bad for humanity.
This is the worst of both worlds because the restaurant kind of sucked.
The people, like the place was cool, like the nature was cool, but then all the people.
It was just oligarchs and shit.
Just like, what do you mean oligarchs?
Just Russians.
There's just so many Eastern Europeans.
No, no, they're not allowed here.
I don't know.
They were just all speaking Russian.
They were just all walking around, just fucking judging me with their Fendi shirts or whatever.
I hate that.
I hate when you wear a shirt with just the brand on it.
How crazy is it that happened there?
And Russians aren't allowed in France.
The only place Russians are allowed right now is Turkey.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
And I'll be honest with you, my biggest nightmare.
What did I say?
What did I say to you?
My biggest nightmare on vacation is go to a place where Russians are.
It's just, they're the classless, most classless people on the planet.
I'm not raising this from the world.
No, no, no, no.
They're the most classless people.
I know, I mean, I'm not talking about the Russians that we have here, even though it's probably the same, but more of the Russians from Russia, it is pure classic.
Are they similar to rich Chinese?
Like the super rich Chinese Chinese.
There's similarities in that both come from communist countries.
And like when you come from a place where everybody's supposed to be equal, you need to show that you're not.
And that's why like Fendi is everywhere, man.
Gucci's everywhere.
And they make specific products for the Chinese market that are like that.
Because when you come from a time where everybody has to be equal and now you don't, you really want to show everybody, yo, I'm not like you.
Look at the brands.
Look at the brands all over the place.
They were in Woodstock.
Yeah, they were in fucking Woods.
They were, dude.
Thank you.
Just fucking pretended like LARPing in the woods.
So are you done with all this?
You want to join the.
Yeah, when are you ready to like have fun?
Like, yeah, I know.
Because there's nature where we go too.
It's just beautiful.
Yeah.
I think I get, I think I get like nature, though.
He likes the woods nature.
Yeah, the woods is kind of normal.
Can I be honest with you?
Woods is the worst.
Water on the woods.
It's worse nature on its difference.
Woods is a cool change up, but water over woods is not even close.
He grew up in Florida.
He had water his whole life.
Now he wants to be around some shit where he could die.
No, they have woods in Florida too.
They do.
They got bears and shit in Florida.
They got jaguars.
It's swamp, bro.
That shit is.
They do have jaguars.
They got jaguars, yeah.
And Panthers.
Yeah.
Say it again.
Jaguars.
Whatever.
Jaguars.
What's your favorite car?
I like a Jaguar.
A nice E-Series would be really pleasant to have.
A nice Jaguar E-Series.
But no, the woods, if I'm just being objective here, it's the worst type of nature.
It's the poorest.
Swamp is a statement of facts.
Swamp is a poorest.
I mean, like, somebody breaks out of jail.
Where do they go hide and hide in the woods, right?
Nobody goes high as in the coast.
You know what I mean?
There's people there.
I was trying to be honest with you.
I was trying to be around no one.
But you don't want to be around no one.
You want to be like fucking Russians where in Fendi when you're in the world.
I didn't want to be around those shoes.
I did not.
Keep driving it.
Outward North.
So that's what we did.
Go find a lake.
You know, we did water.
Time we were with the Russians, the second time we went all the way up to where we were completely alone.
Was there a lake?
Yeah, there's a waterfall.
We took a nap at the waterfall.
There you go.
It's a little loud.
Loud.
You don't need all that.
But it was great, though.
My girl was trying to tell me stories.
I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, drown her out.
Just drown her.
It's a fucking quiet place, dude.
It was beautiful.
Yeah, you got to get off of this whole like, what is it called?
Woods?
You got to get off of this whole woods kick.
The woods is the worst city.
You know what I'm saying?
It's the worst.
Listen, I understand it.
I don't understand.
Let me tell you something.
I don't get it.
We created a park, right?
In New York called Central Park.
If the woods was the best type of nature, it would just be woods.
But it's the worst type.
So we made a whole park with everything but the woods.
It's not about the woods.
It's about being not around people.
It's about being just kind of distant.
Just being like, hey, we don't even need a locked doors.
Nobody is more of a social butterfly than you.
Yeah, so anytime you're around somebody, you want to talk to them.
That's why I'm disengaged.
That's why you got disengaged.
You need one, four days, five days, no one's around.
This is a lie.
I don't buy that.
That's the only way he can not talk to people if they're in the house.
That's the only way he can talk to his wife.
Not a single human being within five hours.
I've been Jedi mind-tricked and thinking I like this.
Actually, my wife loves it.
I think that's really what I'm saying.
If I heard a conversation in the distance, he was like, I was talking to birds.
People fishing her out of fucking Cardinals.
She was like, what is happening?
But it was fun.
I did shrooms out of it.
Get off the.
Oh, you did shoot.
Shrooms.
Did that make the woods fun?
Yeah.
Then the woods is awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it was just, it was interesting.
It was like very hero dose or no, it was like one gram.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
But I was like very deliberate.
I did all the shit that you were supposed to do.
The guy told me to do.
He's like, write it out.
The Graham Hancock shit.
Like, think about it.
That shit is fire.
Why?
What happened?
Shit, dude.
I wasn't in the woods anymore.
No, like, I was listening to music.
I listened to the most cliche shit, Dark Side of the Moon.
It's like the most cliche fucking mushroom song.
It's okay.
It's okay.
None of us know that, bro.
None of us.
We all know it.
Everyone, yeah, that's like King Floyd.
We don't know what's cliche.
You don't got to explain to us.
Oh, oh.
But I get why it's cliche.
In the way that Santorini or all these other spots.
Good fire.
It worked.
You listen to it.
You're like, oh, that's what everyone wants to do.
God violates cliches that think that they're too good for what's cliche or too good for what's popular.
Go fuck yourself.
Fuck your mother.
If most people like it, it's probably pretty good.
It's probably pretty good.
Unless you're so special.
Play dark side of the moon.
Okay.
Play it.
Go.
Okay.
Keep going.
So we hit it.
It was great.
This is this hipster shit where you got to like act over.
You're not a hipster, but like there, you live in Hipsterville.
So like you got to like act over the popular shit.
But there's a reason it's fucking popular.
No, because I'm good for you for doing it that way.
I'm so special that the thing that everyone else likes doesn't work.
It doesn't work for me.
That's what it is.
Oh, no.
That's what I'm saying.
It is very good.
No, that's these are all the people that no, but in his core, he actually likes good things.
That's what I'm trying to say.
He's surrounded by hipsters who are like, oh, you actually watch that.
Anyway, go on.
Yeah.
And so it was just amazing.
It was like, you get why everyone likes it.
You get why everyone does it.
You have the realizations.
I didn't realize that the visual effects were coupled with a feeling also.
Like, it's not just like, oh, the things are moving.
The things are moving.
And then also internally, you're like, oh, I feel very different.
Yeah.
And that shit was very cool.
I get like the interconnectivity thing that everyone talks about.
Like stuff showing up for you that you're just like thinking, like disassociated from.
It's very interesting.
Oh, did you have to deal with any trauma?
Did you have some childhood trauma come out?
I was diddled.
Turns out, guys, I was fucking diddled the whole time.
Did anything happen?
Yeah, just like fear.
I was in there and I was like, the bears, the bear masks.
No, it was like, I mean, partially that.
But I was in there and I was like, okay, what's like the scariest shit I can think of?
And I don't, from childhood, I was like, okay, demons.
I was like, what if I'm in here and a demon gets in my head?
What if the devil shows up?
And then I opened my eyes and I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm just going to not blink for six hours.
I was like, as long as my eyes aren't shut, the devil's not going to be in my head.
And then I was like, no, fuck it.
Like, I was listening to Graham Hancock saying he was like, when the fucking snake shows up, jump in its mouth, go for it, like confront the fear.
So I did it.
And then I tried to conjure the scariest thing I could think of.
And then nothing was there.
So you leaned in.
And it literally feeds it.
The weirdest shit that happened from the thing, and again, I don't want to be like over-aggrandizing this one little experience, but no, like, no more anxiety the rest of the trip.
Like, I would like be in the woods in the middle of the night, like, peeing.
And normally I'd be like, is there a fucking thing?
Is there a bear or whatever?
Nothing.
Went on stage two nights later, like, and normally I get like a little anxious, like before, like PAC show, New York Comedy Club, kind of nervous, felt nothing.
Wow.
And like, still, it was very strange.
I can't tell if it's placebo or if it's actually like this confrontation of this other thing.
Very weird.
And then even still, like, the effects like residually have like stayed there.
Wow.
I don't know why.
I didn't expect it to be like that.
I didn't intend for that to happen, but it happened even on that small dose.
Very strange.
Wow.
I mean, that's fire.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
It's very weird.
And you intentionally searched for it?
No.
This goal was, but this is the other word thing.
The goal was like presence.
I was like, okay, how can I just stay in this moment?
Like, how do I hang out with my girl?
How do we like a good husband?
Like, just be real.
Then after two days, you were like, how do I get as high as possible out of this moment?
Yeah, exactly.
Got to get out of here.
No, I was like, how do I stay as present as possible?
Stay so connected to this other human being, try to be a good husband.
Like, I'm going to go see my family.
How do I stay present with them and not checked out?
Like, how do I stay locked into moments?
And then the fear thing showed up.
And I was like, oh, is that why I'm not as present?
Because I'm always back channeling.
Like, oh, think about this other thing.
This other thing's going on.
I got to do other stuff.
And that's all fear that's built in.
Instead of just like being president and not being worried about 10 other things that are happening next week.
So I don't know.
That's the way I interpret it.
Very strange.
I don't want to be the person that's like, dude, fucking shrooms fixed all my problems.
You convinced me to do shrooms, though.
No, very convincing.
But it's the work, though.
It's like that just shows you some shit, but then you got to like really be intentional about working on it.
I think the shroom is going to just like show you something.
But it really is just you showing you something.
Ari said something like it's basically like therapy and meditation, but it just accelerates it a bit.
Yeah.
And if you don't listen to anything the therapist says or you don't work on any of the shit you guys talked about in the session, it's going to be useless.
And you're Jonah Hill.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Shout out to Jonah.
Surfing Boundaries With Men00:14:58
Shout out.
Shout out to Jonah, bro.
Jonah's the GOAT, man.
Did you think that that was abusive?
No, I did not think it was abusive.
This bitch is out there, goddamn fucking mind, yo.
They are out there goddamn now.
Bring up the text, bring up the text.
So he was wilding a little bit.
There you go.
That's a listen.
He's wilding a little bit like, but he did something fire.
I'm going to start using the word boundaries for anything I don't like.
I have a boundary where you disagree with anything I say.
That's my boundary.
So if you do that, then you're breaking one of my boundaries and I can't be with you.
That being said, I don't think there was a single thing that was abusive about what he did.
No, I didn't think it was abusive.
I was crazy, insecure, and like shitty.
Yeah, he's insecure.
Yeah.
But like, he says, he's not saying like you can't be a human being.
He's like, I wish you well.
I just personally don't want you posting your ass on Instagram.
I just personally don't want you going on these little surf dates with other men.
I just personally don't want a partner that's going to do that.
And if you need to do that, you go for it.
I wish you the best.
You got it.
But I can't have that.
He met her while she was doing all these things, got with her while she was doing all these things.
And now that you're together, you're like, now I'm not okay with all these things.
He hollered at her off.
You're going to call that abusive, bro?
Inconvenient.
Sure.
This is a little inconvenient.
It's a bit more than inconvenient.
It's not abusive, but it's more than inconvenient.
So then what is it?
It's just being a shitty boyfriend and maybe like a bunch of people.
This is a girl who ain't never been abused.
It's probably toxic is what it is.
Toxic is a word I can, we can settle on toxic, I think.
I think that shit is toxic.
Yo, don't have your ass on Instagram.
You weren't, when you weren't with me, that shit worked to get me.
Now you got me.
Now get your ass off Instagram.
Simple as that.
But if she's a surfer and it's pictures of her surfing, you don't need to surf in a thong.
Did you see Shorty in a thong surfing?
That's what all these girls are surfing, though.
They're dumb.
Not mine.
Not mine out there.
First of all, even if you do surf in it, you need to have a picture of you getting back shots on fucking Instagram.
You need to have a picture of you bent over showing the fucking thong on your ass.
Do you not bend when you put surf?
Yeah, she's putting up a picture of her surface.
Somebody got to fucking come into the water with a camera, a waterproof camera.
Wait a minute, let me bend over on the board so you can perfectly see the swims.
Who are you?
Who are you guys?
What type of fucking men are you that are going to defend the girl with her fucking pussy lips out on Instagram?
I wouldn't get with a girl who was a surfer if I were.
No, no, no, no.
You get with him and you change them.
Yeah.
Maybe if he wife her and he was like, yo, you don't need work anymore.
I got you.
But you're just dating and you can't do what you love?
Or what?
Well, he wipes herself.
That's wifey.
No.
He didn't wife her.
They're not married.
He put a wig on it now.
It's wifey.
That is his girlfriend.
It's wifeish.
That was the girl he was with when we were doing the movie.
They were together non-stop.
That's wifey.
So in your brain.
I can't believe y'all are capping for this dumb bitch.
This is so gay of both of you.
This is three of us, bro.
I'm just saying both of us.
And I said it's not abuse.
What's toxic about it?
Don't be dating dudes in a thong.
What?
What do you think?
None of y'all would let your girls do this.
Just let you.
You're going to let your girl go and have surf dates with a guy and a thong.
If my girl surfers, if she surfers.
And I don't surf, go.
So when your girl met you, right?
When all of our girls met us, except for y'all, okay, me and you.
When our girls met us, we was out in these streets.
That changed once we have a relationship, right?
Yeah.
So shit changes once you're in a relationship.
I don't consider surfing out in these streets.
That's what I'm saying.
Songs are different.
Song surfing.
Song surfing.
Hey, I'll be honest with you.
If you don't want you surfing, get your ass on land.
What the fuck are you surfing for?
Get your ass on land.
Yo, you can't have the cheeks covered, bro.
Like, that's a crazy.
We live in a world where you can't tell your girl to cover her asshole when she's out there in a surfboard.
That's abusive.
To be like, yo, cover your asshole when you're surfing with men.
That's abuse.
That's toxic.
We say it's not abuse.
It's toxic.
You say it's toxic.
It's toxic, yeah.
You're gay.
If you're a man and you say any other man's toxic, you're gay.
You're gay.
You're gay.
You the type of girl.
You're gay.
Wait, Okay, if Usher wants to sing to your girl, and you, if Usher want to sing to your girl, and it's just singing, it's just singing.
You cool with that?
Just singing, yeah.
They first is singing, then you add him 22.
I'm just saying, first you singing, then you add him 22.
Do you know what I mean?
That's how it starts.
That's how it starts.
Usher, don't play.
Usher, don't play.
Usher will sing your girl out of her panties, bro.
I'm telling you, it's a problem, bro.
You saw that happen to Kiki Palmer?
And she had the cheeks out like that looking crazy.
Come on, y'all.
What are we doing out here?
What team are you on?
What are we doing out there?
What team are you on that?
What we did today?
We did today.
All right.
What are we doing out here?
Y'all are crazy.
You gonna let your girl surf in a thong with men.
Is it a female surf wave?
Is it a female wave?
Is it a women's only wave?
Is it a women's-only break from 9 to 11?
It's only women that are there.
Is that it?
Then she could wear full-covered underwear.
Full covered under.
There's no way she wears a thong.
I'm not crazy, right?
Why do you need to post a picture of your asshole?
You're in a relationship.
Sunshine.
You do that to get into the relationship.
What you want to do is surf in.
I can't believe y'all.
She's making these arguments.
So there's nothing that you have to change.
When you meet your girl, there's nothing to change.
Nobody ever said that.
Nobody ever said that.
Al's argument was: if she did this prior to you guys being there, it's her job, dude.
It's not her behavior.
Josh, she's not a professional surfer.
She wants to be a surfer.
She's a surf instructor, I believe, right?
No, she teaches fucking yoga.
She's a useless.
Listen, I peeped this from the second I saw it.
Oh, this is great.
She's a lot of pictures of surfing, bro.
She's angry.
This is her page?
She's angry because she's gay.
She is surfing, bro.
Like, if this was her page before you got with her, come on, son.
Sunshine, chat.
That means she can't post no more.
This is pretty modest to me, I don't think.
Come on, yo.
No, it's pretty.
Come on, yo.
She's wearing a 50s bathing suit now.
Come on, that was fine.
I didn't say nothing about that one.
I ain't saying nothing about it.
That's appropriate.
That's appropriate.
That's an appropriate attire.
Oh, my God.
Now go to the other one.
Come on, yo.
Why you need to.
You told your friend, hey, take this picture of me looking on into the distance where you see my ass cheek hanging out my fucking bathing suit.
You said take the thirst trap.
Who are you thirst trapping?
Y'all crazy.
Y'all are really crazy.
I can't believe I'm talking to y'all right now.
I truly can't believe it.
I truly can't believe it.
I am.
Honestly.
Hey, no.
Thank you.
I thought I was crazy.
This man crazy.
You can make arguments for them girls to be sluts.
Is that what you know?
I'm just so confused.
I'm so confused.
So were you here?
I'll tell you the answer.
So were you?
No.
No, no.
I'll tell you the answer before you even ask me.
No.
Hey, no.
So you're on vacation.
I'm on vacation.
And you on a boat.
I'm on a boat.
With your shirt off.
My shirt off.
I've posted all these thirst straps.
Thirst straps.
That's cool.
That's cool.
But can your shorty do it?
Hell no.
Now ask yourself, did you see any?
Did you see any posting?
None of it.
None.
That's what I'm saying.
So you could be a thought, but she can't.
100%.
That's his boundaries.
That's his best boundary.
No, no, no.
That's life.
That's life.
Instagram knows these rules.
I can show my titties.
Women can't show their titties.
Because even Zuckerberg, even Moseri, knows.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're going after the real CEO of fucking Instagram.
He knows a woman's titties is different than a man's titties.
Al.
What's different about them?
You can suck all up on a woman's titties.
You can suck all up on a man's titties, okay?
I get my shit sucks.
Stop that.
Listen, y'all are really crazy for trying to capture this fucking stupid behavior from this girl.
Do you want to surf like a slut?
No.
We're not allowing no slut surfers out here.
That's not going to happen.
Wow, no.
No, I'm not wild.
Y'all are wild.
Y'all are so crazy when we disagree.
You're like, okay, so, okay, so a girl can just fuck anybody she wants to.
She can just suck all the dicks she wants to.
I mean, that's what you're saying.
She changed that once she got in a relationship, right?
She changed that?
Yes.
That one you should change.
Something's changed.
Oh, so there's certain things you could change.
Yes.
But having your asshole lips hanging out of a bathing suit all you all just surfboard is not blood.
I know.
I know.
That's not what it is.
That asshole.
That's just wild.
Hold on.
Y'all just want a girl's asshole lips out on the internet so y'all can beat off to it.
That's disgusting.
That's disgusting.
Okay?
Not I. Get your asshole lips tucked into that little fucking old bodybuilder bathing suit.
Strong man one.
Yo, the world's strongest man bathing suit from the 20s.
That's the type of bathing suit you need to wear.
Lots of respect, yo.
And she's actually good.
If she was just one of these dots that's like, oh, I'm a surfer, but she just goes out there to take cute pictures.
That's something different.
But she's actually nice with it.
Yeah.
So, like, she does this.
She never got stuck underwater.
Yeah.
I think that's why.
I think that's what I'm saying.
Is that what he's mad about?
That's the bad.
Yeah, he's mad.
He's like, that never looked this way.
She's pretty good.
Yeah, pretty good.
So now he tells her.
But there's still no reason why you need to be in a thong.
What you mean?
Y'all been euphoriated.
Y'all been euphoriated, bro.
I'm telling you, society needs to wait.
Listen, we got to go back to the Ottoman Empire, bro.
What we need to do is go back to the Ottoman Empire.
We need some rules, bro.
We need some rules.
We need a little bit more structure and organization.
You're acting crazy because you would not allow none of this shit from your wife.
Son, I didn't meet my wife as a surfer.
What does that have to do with anything?
She wants to do what she loves, surfing.
He's saying no surfing.
I'm sorry.
Did you think marriage is about doing what you love?
What the fuck is wrong with you, Akash?
It's about sacrificing the things you love more than anything.
He's mad she hanging out with her female friends.
Please go hang out with your female friends.
No, no, mad.
Leave me alone.
Not female friends, male friends.
No, he said female friends too.
Male surf dates.
No, hanging out with your little slut fuckers.
She's hanging out.
Listen, listen, you don't want your girl hanging out with slut buckets.
You don't want that.
Let's say your wife had a bunch of whore slut bucket friends.
Do you want her fraternizing with those fucking disgusting holes?
Do you want such a thing?
Do you want such a thing?
Get out the house.
Are you crazy?
That's right.
I know it's copying.
Now you bugger.
No, I know it's cops.
You bugging, bro.
You bugging right now.
Because your friend doesn't have any slut bucket.
Friends.
That's a fact.
And if she did, you would have an issue with it.
I'll be honest, I got an issue with most of my wife's friends.
And they ain't even sluts.
You know what I'm saying?
I do have an issue.
I got the fucking laser out on all of y'all.
Fuck up one time.
It's done.
Even the gays.
That's my boundary.
That's my boundary.
What about the gay friend?
Nah, he's cool.
I fuck with you.
I fuck with the gays, bro.
The gays, you good.
The gays, you're good.
Maybe a little touch-friendly, though.
They got to check with that shit.
Son, listen.
Nah, my wife beat.
You know, she got boundaries, bro.
My wife got boundaries.
Did you test to see if they were undercover?
Who?
The gays.
I did.
I made him prove it.
Why you yell who so loud?
Because I need to check mark on that question right there.
I had to fuck them both to make sure they get.
I was like, all right, let's see.
Okay, we know you bought them.
Now it's time to go the other way.
Let's see if y'all got them.
Let's see how verse y'all are.
You got to test all your girls' friends, bro.
This is so funny.
Because if there's an undercover fucking straight in the gay mix, that's a problem, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
You, your girl, your girl, she has a lot of family, right?
Your wife, she got a lot of family.
That don't count, bro.
She can have slut bucket friends.
She could have had to.
She could have had them.
But she doesn't, so you don't have anything to worry about.
But these slut buckets are zigging and zagging all over the place.
And you just got to chop right in the middle.
Yeah, man.
Hey, boundary.
Boundaries, bro.
You wild on this one, bro.
Why am I wild?
Off on this one.
What's your boundary?
What?
What's your boundary?
Oh, ain't we diagnosed?
Thank you.
Thank you.
But that's my boundary.
That's my boundary, too.
But that was all capped because she does.
I had to agree to at least thongs because she's from Spain and they go topless over there.
And she's like, what's the compromise?
Yeah, that's a compromise.
Yo, you say, yo, when we in Spain, then you do.
Yeah, but we in America.
If we go to beaches out here, like if we go to Miami, some beaches.
When you got on one nigga proposal, she just wrapped a little skirt around her.
No, no, no, no.
I will say this.
So she's like, I can't be comfortable on the beach because of what you're uncomfortable with.
And I'm like, yeah.
No, no, no.
But that.
Well, I will say this.
If you are you and your girl are comfortable with her wearing thongs, that is a cultural thing.
And I actually don't think it's that bad, to be honest.
I don't think it's that bad.
If you guys are comfortable with it, but if that was something you were really uncomfortable with, you were just like, hey, it just makes me feel insecure.
I see all these guys looking at you and like, it makes me want to like protect you.
And then I feel like I have to do something physical with these guys.
It just, it doesn't allow me to relax on the beach.
Like, it just makes my whole beach experience really awful.
I bet you.
She would go, I don't want your beach experience to be awful just for like three more inches of fabric.
Of course, I'll do it.
Yeah, that's a therapized way to say it.
You don't think he started with that?
No.
No, I don't.
Of course he started.
You think that's the first text?
She's a loonie bucket.
She's in la-la land, guys.
She doesn't know.
Hold on, you ever made wax for my surfboard?
I need to go wax my surfboard.
Hey, hey, come away, dogs that come whack for my surfboard.
Yeah, wax up my surfboard.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Surfing with dudes is crazy, bro.
There's only dudes out there.
Why you pick a man sport?
Stop picking man hobbies, bro.
Pick a girl hobby.
Shopping.
Beach Anxiety Over Inches00:14:57
You was doing gymnastics.
What about volleyball?
Backflip?
That's gymnastic.
That's a girl sport.
You out here showing up for the girlies, bro.
What would you do with that?
What if you go to the gymnasts?
What if you go to the gymnast?
Honestly, I got to have a talk with my wife about that.
I got to apologize.
I got to chill out because I think I was attracting too many bitches with that backflip that I did.
That's what I was thinking.
I was attracted to that.
That was the first thing I was doing.
That was a test.
Sometimes I'm going to stop.
Yo, every time you pick it up.
You post them rich ass pictures?
Yo, you see him competing, bro.
I do.
I see him competing.
That's what you said.
I was like, so I did, well, hang on.
After I did that backflip, everybody posted their backflips.
See, I respect my girl.
I ain't posting.
Everybody posted that.
I respect my girl.
I ain't posting.
Now, you know your backflip wasn't that clean.
No, it wasn't thorough.
It wasn't thorough.
It was just too great.
Can I be honest with you?
I know you don't got a good backflip.
He's too top-heavy, bro.
I know you don't.
I know you don't got a good backflip.
Let me see that backflip, bro.
Yeah, why didn't you send it to the group?
Because it didn't have it.
It would turn them off.
I think if I hit it, if he hit it, he would have sent it.
Yeah, he's sent it.
He just sent it before the engagement.
This was too much attention if I posted it.
Which one is this?
Oh, you're on the left.
You a fucking cocktail.
Clean.
Smeak house slow.
Clean, clean.
I feel like you landed on your knees and face.
I feel like you shut the fuck up.
First of all.
It's clean.
Let me see.
Let me see what's going on here.
No, you don't even go fully around.
It's clean.
The other dude nailed it, though.
The other dude killed that shit.
The other dude was, it was slightly clean.
That was the guy that caught my attention first.
Yeah, I mean.
I've seen that guy before.
I've seen him.
Adam 22 or 25.
That's what I'm saying.
Y'all were hating in that fucking group chat, bro.
What'd you mean?
I sent the text to the group chat like, yo, my man's meat ain't that crazy, right?
And y'all are like, you actually Googled it?
Yeah, didn't we all Google it?
You wild for that one.
Yo, because Grandma.
That's the wildest part that you thought a 25-inch meat exists.
That's the wildest that you tried to say.
That is wild.
I did.
You were like, yo, is it really?
He's on the metric system doing centimeters.
You wild.
I thought it was that.
I did think it was that.
That's more.
I did think it was that.
I did think it was that.
Because Grandi was talking about how it was 25 inches.
You cannot believe everything you post on Instagram.
I didn't believe everything.
I believed that.
Okay.
I thought it was 25.
I'm going to have to people on Facebook.
Yo, son.
Son, I am one of the old people.
You know how many times a week I send my business manager a text message I get?
Where it's just like, just fill out this passcode for Facebook and fill out this passcode for Facebook because your account is about to be overrided or hacked.
Like once a week, I send it, and they're like, this is spam.
Don't do it.
So yes, I am that old person.
Two, he said 25 inches.
I thought it was maybe around.
I thought it was a rough estimate.
Oh, maybe it was 22.
My man.
Adam 22.
Yeah, here.
And then I saw it and I was so let down.
I was like, it's the worst way to see it.
Yeah, you want it to be three inches.
You want it to huge dick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, yo, she's got that.
She got it.
Now, I'm not saying the guy's dick ain't huge, it's huge, but when you think 25, and then it's, what do you think it was?
Nobody thought 25, though, bro.
That's what we're tripping on.
No one thought 25.
Well, you can't say no one because you're sitting in front of someone who did.
Okay?
You're sitting in front of a human being who thought it was 25 inches.
Okay?
We pulling it up.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, we can...
Wow, bro.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
What are we doing?
Is it?
He got soft.
Greg Odin.
That's soft, though.
Is it?
Why is he cooking, bro?
Now, let me ask y'all a question.
Is it?
Yeah, go to it hard.
Like, it's crazy to say that, but go to it hard.
Go to it hard because maybe your shit goes to 25 and a quarter.
Yeah.
So it was only me and Doug that saw it, but we saw it separate.
So when he hit the group chat with it, he's like, dude, you've never seen his daughter.
Doug Ben saw it because he knew the name and everything.
I've never heard of this dude.
On Black Draw?
Dev texted, it's cinema.
He did it.
Cinematically shot him.
Yeah, absolutely.
What's that?
Is that one of the Black Draws?
Or is that like a Photoshop?
Is that girl really in Black Draw?
Yeah.
Why are you looking at the girl, Homo?
I know, my bad.
My bad.
I did fuck up right there.
Son, is he raking leaves for the hard dick?
That's crazy.
Yeah, he does a lot of activities now.
Yeah.
There's a lot of housekeeping, evidently.
Whoa, go to the side, to the side.
Go side, Mark Down.
Go down and look right there.
What's that one?
Cinderella.
What?
I mean.
Ooh, we.
Yeah.
Does his dick point up?
No.
Oh, wow.
He got an Alex.
He got an Alex.
Alex plays to Miles and Miles, dude.
Come on.
Nah, Miles, nah.
Y'all dicks are Australian.
So that's it.
Hard.
It's fine.
Right?
Right, dude?
No, no, no.
It's very big, but I'm thinking 25.
I think he could just be like that.
He could think with his dick.
Bro, Dan.
For real.
Yeah, I want him to ponder shit.
I'm good on this one.
What do you mean?
I'm like surrounded by.
I'm trying to find these seeds right now.
Listen.
Okay, so should we discuss this whole Adam 22 thing?
I think we did, right?
I think we handled it.
Well, we didn't discuss it.
What do you guys think?
I mean, I don't know.
That's a boundary for me.
Yeah, I'm not blown away by it for him, though.
Like, if, like, he does porn with his girl.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's a podcaster.
He's a BMX dude.
He's got all these brands, but he also is a porn star.
And so porn stars often will act in scenes is the way they see it with other people.
So I don't see it as like, for him, that crazy.
That's the mother of his dude.
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
What happened?
Every porn star.
Y'all got salt.
Don't do the yo, yeah, Don't come back over here now.
One of us kept the truth, the one that went to the Muslim part of the world.
Every porn star does it.
Is it weird for porn stars to do this?
To do what?
To let y'all do it.
Yeah, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Y'all all been destiny.
I'm getting destiny done fucking radicalize Adam 22, radicalize Mark.
Doesn't Destiny let his girl do that shit?
I don't know, bro.
That's crazy.
He's open.
Swingers.
They're swingers.
Swing it.
Cut that.
That's crazy shit, too.
Stop calling it funny thing that kids playing.
It's not swingers.
It's you let people fuck your girl.
Loki, filming is better than not filming it, though.
Because not filming it, you're just doing it for the love of the girl.
Oh.
You film it, you get money off it.
Oh, hey, hey, you changed my mind with that one.
I think this is a funny point.
If you film it, I think it's better, dude.
Then you get paid.
I don't know.
Nah, because more people don't know about it.
But you know that it was just for the love of the game.
And that's harder.
The bank account.
I'll be honest.
And I haven't texted Adam about this.
Say what?
I know.
He said on here.
He's like, I got too much money from my wife to get donkey fucked by some dudes.
Yeah.
Quote unquote.
And does that mean?
So, look, this is what I thought it was.
And I haven't spoken to Adam about it.
I don't even want to text him about it.
It's just too fucking weird.
But what I thought this was is you kill a story with a story.
I texted you guys this sort of group, I think, as well, which is like the story about No Jumper was it's falling apart.
You had all this people that were like the, you know, the, they're not staff.
They're like talent.
They're like on-air talent.
All leave, leaves a huge vacuum.
What's happening with the identity?
Like what's happening with the brand?
Is the brand done?
Is it over?
And then announces this thing.
And then all the conversation is about this.
And none of it is about, oh my God, all the people that were on the channel have left it and have gone, done their own things, and no jumper is done.
Now, people are being critical of this for sure, but it feels as if the entire internet is talking about this one thing.
Oh, yeah.
And if Adam is cool with it, he doesn't care about the criticism because he's getting all the views, all the attention, and he's pivoting more into something that maybe is working for him, which is, hey, I like the porn shit.
I don't give a fuck.
We're making way more money on the porn shit than we did the gang shit.
So now I'm completely done with the gang shit.
And I do the porn shit and I do the podcast.
And it's going to make crazy money.
I wonder if it's just we're doing one and then we're quitting the internet.
Like, I literally wonder if it's...
It seems like he's teeing up the next shit.
Yeah.
I don't think he's doing one and then quitting.
Yeah.
Who knows?
But if you are comfortable, here's the thing.
After one, there's minimal returns, in my personal opinion.
Diminishing returns.
Yeah, diminishing returns.
It's like, how many times do you need?
Like, once we know you're okay with someone banging your wife, I don't need to see a third person bang your wife.
The big one is the first one.
You either got to go bigger in size, which is like maybe a 24.
24. 24, that'd be crazy.
Or it's got to be some kind of like wild collapse.
He said something about him and another dude doing it.
That is another angle you could go.
But I think this is a perfect example of killing a story with a story.
When you said that, I was just like, just looking away.
Now y'all all traditional.
Now y'all all conservative.
Listen, what's the big deal?
She was into adult filmmaking before they met.
Do you understand?
You have to allow her to do this.
There is a difference between surfing with a man and letting that man fuck your wife.
Is there?
You don't know how much he loves surfing, dude.
You love surfing so much.
That's the disconnect.
That's it.
Surfing is so funny.
You've never been in a wave before, dude.
You don't know what it's like to be.
You ever wrote Pipe October?
Yeah.
So I'm just trying to say, I'm just trying to say, for me, they're the same.
They are the same.
They are the same.
Why are you surfing with this guy?
When you could just be getting fucked by him.
You might as well.
Why are you putting on as little clothing as possible to get wet with a man?
Like, why don't you just say that?
Why don't you just say that to me?
Hey, hey, husband, I'm going to go put on as little clothes as possible and go get wet with another man.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, that sounds crazy.
Be out of breath.
You know what I mean?
Straddle.
I'm bored.
This shit is too horny.
Almost died in three feet.
That's facts.
Come on, bro.
Lena almost died with two feet.
You think surfing's too horny?
That was great.
That was great.
Surf is too horny.
Surfing is too horny, bro.
Didn't you learn on Fire Island?
Son, I learned on a gay island.
I had to control myself.
I had to control myself, bro.
Oh, my God.
For real.
Trying to make me gay, Mark.
I was born out of the house.
That's where you learned.
You don't got to try very hard.
I was born in the dark.
Yeah, I was born in the dark.
I'm Bane.
I'm the Bane of this shit.
I'm gay.
Yeah.
I'm Bane.
I'm Bane, Mark.
Game fuck out of here.
All right.
Come on.
Bring up a topic or something.
Oh, go.
Business-wise is great for Adam, though.
Oh, is that?
Wow.
No, the way they've been marketing.
Fucking Alex.
Fucking Alex.
Alex with a real fucking hot take over here.
Oh, was it, was it quick?
It wasn't that funny, August.
Yeah, that's funny.
Was it good?
Was it good business-wise?
Wow, we, where'd you get that one from, Alfred?
I bet the way they've been marketing it.
Don't be mad at him.
Put gas on it.
You've been doing it every time I talk is his accent.
You do that.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
This is really funny.
Oh, my God.
Because it was mad quiet, and we were searching for something to say, and you were just trying to help.
Yeah.
But it was just such a useless sentence.
No, but do you think it's good?
Yeah, it was really good.
But the way they've been building it up and it still hasn't dropped yet.
And it's like, you have to subscribe to OnlyFans.
And so many people are going to subscribe and forget that dick.
So many people are going to subscribe and forget that they're subscribed to it.
And then you'll just have like that large income revenue or whatever.
I'm trying.
I'm going to just keep mouthing.
How you do that mouth?
Words out.
Yeah, words out.
You call it mouth cabbage?
Mouth mouth is armed this way.
But yeah, that's the thing.
It's like, we signed up.
If we're signing up, we're signing up for big black dicks in your wife.
That's crazy.
So if next month, if next month I don't have another big black dick in your wife, I'm tight.
I'm commenting, bro.
Wow.
No, what are you sweating?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, why am I wild?
If I signed up for NBA League Pass and you don't give me no games, what's the problem?
What if it's just Atlantis surfing with another dude?
Then it's the same thing.
Same thing.
Okay, bet.
If a black guy's surfing and surviving, I'd be very surprised.
You're going to be like me in a while.
God, the dick's the leash.
I think this is going to be a little potential problem.
Keeping up with...
I agree.
Keeping up with the standards.
With the Johnsons.
I agree.
Keeping up with the Johnsons, bro, for real.
Or it could be a one-hitter quit.
Are we out?
They might be just be catching a lick.
Or doesn't happen at all.
The worst part, she said, I was sore for a few days after.
Oh.
I mean, this is theater.
This is them like he is being very funny with it.
Yeah.
I ain't going to lie.
He is.
He is being funny.
He got jokes.
He's commenting on every post.
They're reposting it a bunch.
It shows the power of humor, too, because the funnier he is about it, the more okay I feel about him in the situation.
Or at least the less unok I feel about it.
I feel less like okay with it, but I'm okay for him.
I feel like he doesn't care.
I really think he doesn't care.
Yeah, I don't think he cares.
Yeah.
But I also don't think he has feelings.
Exactly.
We told him this when he came on the pod the first time.
Yeah.
He just confirms it.
Have to not have feelings.
But what a competitive advantage.
You have no feelings.
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second.
Let's be honest here.
The biggest clouds, okay?
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Now let's get back to the show.
All right, we got threads popped off.
Elon and Zuck beefing in the virtual world and the physical world.
What do you think about Elon suing Zuck for threads?
I don't think it's going to go through.
No.
Yeah, how can you, on what grounds can you sue?
I think he has the source code open.
For Twitter?
I think Elon made it open source and just kind of like put the source code out there.
And I think that is going to cause a lot of problems if it becomes, if it goes to litigation.
Because they can say, oh, did you hire ex-Twitter employees?
Yes.
But I don't think they breached contracts because I think they were terminated for a long enough time.
They would have to prove that they violated some type of like non-compete, which I don't think they can do.
And then on top of that, it's all open source code.
So they can just look at it and be like, yeah, you got access to it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
The threats are.
And if you hired all of them as consultants, I think that gets around the contracts because they're not employees.
Yeah.
And you fired them.
So if you fire, you're not going to competitor.
Unless you gave me a crazy severance, I don't think they're, I think I just do whatever I want.
Fired unceremoniously, it seemed like they just woke up to an email that they were fired.
And I can't go work for a competitor.
That seems crazy.
Has anybody used it?
No.
I posted one thing on it.
Yeah, the major part of the lawsuit is that Meta recruited several former Twitter employees who possess and even currently have access to Twitter's trade secrets and other confidential information.
Yeah, I just, I like these tech lawsuits, I just don't think go through.
There's so many Twitter knockoffs.
Like there's Mastodon, there's Blue Sky.
What's the Trump one?
Yeah, True Spirit.
Social.
There's so many that have basically copied it.
Like, I mean, Blue Sky is literally created by Jack Dorsey that is a stripped down version of Twitter.
So what is the end game here?
Like, is Elon just trying to, what is it called?
Stir up waters to catch fish?
Is he just using this as an opportunity to promote Twitter?
Like engaging in the beef and then hopefully, you know, that will take people back over to Twitter where he's tweeting about it.
You know, like all his criticism of Zuckerberg come from Twitter.
So he's maybe driving traffic over to Twitter.
But I don't know.
I just, I don't think threads is I think he's fucking up hard.
He's fucking up fast.
You think?
Yeah.
Yes.
I couldn't believe he actually bought Twitter.
I'll say that forever.
I thought that was just publicity.
We're getting whatever.
Not bad.
I'm going to pull out of the deal at the last second.
When it happened, I was like, what is your end game here?
And Twitter just seems worse.
One cool thing is you can upload a whole video for however long.
It don't matter.
But then like, do you see, remember that day where you could only read X amount of tweets and they just stopped letting you read tweets?
No, I'm not a loser.
I'm not.
Did they really tell you you reach your limit?
That's it?
Yeah, when it was like pay for verification.
Yeah, they're just trying to get everybody to pay the $8.
I ain't going to do it.
Yeah.
So is that still the way?
Yeah.
I think they raised the threshold.
But still, at a certain point, you're going to need to get, which I haven't hip now.
Why are they going to this pay model?
I don't.
They're going away from ad revenue and just trying to make it subscription.
Like, make all the money on a subscription side.
And so that's the issue because no one wants to pay for something that they would use for free.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know why he's not going to be able to do it.
Massively stuck in the future.
Yeah.
That's like a billion.
You don't think about this before you spend $44 billion on something?
And like, so many celebrities are fine with not having their blue check there.
They don't give a fuck.
I'm curious.
Do you have your blue check?
I don't think it's a fuck.
And so it's like, he fucked up.
I don't know.
It might be too soon to say.
Like, it is interesting to me that so many other channels have taken some of the things that Twitter's done.
Like paying for verification through Instagram.
I think Facebook has it as well now.
Yeah, the NFL stole shit from the XFL.
That'll make the XFL a good league.
I mean, don't make the XFL a good idea.
Yeah.
But I don't know if it's too soon.
I feel like it's too soon to say it's...
I'm just looking, what is his end goal?
That's what I'm trying to say.
Like, he's really active right now.
I don't think that he's really active because he believes he's going to win this lawsuit against Threads.
I don't think Threads is unique enough that people will totally transition and go over there.
I think it's like fun for people right now because they feel like they get a bunch of new followers and they'll be like one of the few people that are on this space.
But I don't know if it has anything compelling enough to like go there and digest content.
You know, like TikTok is undeniably entertaining.
Yeah.
Like you went to it and you're like, wow, this is better than all the other apps.
Yeah.
Like just scrolling.
Now, Instagram is kind of caught up with reels and YouTube is shorts, but when it was just TikTok that had that feature where it's like, you don't even need to follow anybody.
We know what you like.
My wife is still so addicted to TikTok.
It's all blue.
It's like, if you have like 30 minutes, you and your wife, and you just decide to scroll TikTok, you laugh together.
You might cry to video.
It's like, I can't believe I'm making this argument for TikTok.
It could be fucking reels.
It could be shorts, whatever.
But this type of entertainment, you get like a lot of feelings out of a 30-minute thing.
That's why I had to say reels and I had to say that.
I got this guy.
He was so close to China.
China got this guy.
I fucking felt myself.
All I'm trying to say is, I don't see myself going on threads for breaking news.
I think it's exciting and it was really easy conversion because you do it all through Instagram, pretty much.
Like, do you want to follow everybody you already follow?
Yeah.
Not only that, the people that have huge audiences on Instagram automatically get this huge audience on threads.
So if it does blow up and take over Twitter, then boom, I've got a whole lot of stuff.
Oh, is that?
Because I'm trying to figure out how Zuckerberg thinks he can get people to threads over Twitter.
Oh, that's upscape.
They make it super easy.
You got to bring your followers.
It's really convenient.
My issue with those people that are like Twitter's smart people.
Instagram is like pretty people.
You know what I mean?
Like the biggest pages on Instagram are like aggregate pages where it's like people just post a ton of different content, like Instagram models.
And I don't know if people want to hear what they have to tweet.
No.
You know what I mean?
So you're trying to bank on pulling Twitter levers over to threads to then get like smart people on threads and then pretty people on Instagram, and then you take over the whole thing.
The only chance they have is that Twitter goes under.
And then there's an alternative that exists where all your followers already are.
Right.
That works.
And it's like having all Apple products where it's just like it's synced up.
It's easy.
Are you going to get journalists over to threads?
That's like the big.
I think it's easy copy and paste.
I think you'll get all the same articles there and it will be a literal mirror to Twitter.
The question is, are they going to reconfigure the algorithm so you enjoy what you're scrolling on more?
And I think whoever, that's the way I think they could see it winning is go, we're not going to give you what you follow.
We're going to give you what you enjoy.
That's what it's currently doing.
So they are TikTokifying it.
If it's Twitter.
Twitter's doing that too.
But Twitter's doing that too.
So whichever algo is better, more enjoyable will win.
But Instagram has an opportunity to completely TikTokify threads.
And I wonder if that's nothing.
It's more difficult.
Who knows?
I think if they find a way to just integrate it with Instagram where you don't have to use a separate app, like just have like a swipe where it's like, I want to use threads while I'm on Instagram.
That's like a different window.
Because like so many people would tweet something and then copy their tweet and then post it on Instagram.
Now if you could just do that.
And also take your thread and post it to your IG story.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, if you have complete synergy, then they might be able to get it popping.
This, going off this app and then opening another app is a huge barrier to him.
Yeah.
I think, yeah.
Yeah, they have the IG story thing.
So like now, if you see a thread in there and you click on a thread, it takes you right to the.
Smart.
Okay.
So that kind of synergy is, and that seamlessness, like you were saying, that's what Apple does so well.
It's like everything is just your fucking watch is connected to your TVs, connected to your computer, your phone.
Yeah, that's it.
It does feel rushed, though.
The threads thing?
Yeah.
In what way?
Like, it feels kind of like a big changing baby.
And it's like, I'm like, why wouldn't you wait till the product is like great before you put it out?
You think he's trying to capitalize on the beef, the we're going to fight thing?
I think it's a little bit of that, but I also think there's a lot of other Twitter competitors popping up.
Like there's one, it's called Spill that like I've recently got on and it is more targeted for black urban community, but that's the fun one.
It popped so quick and I think they saw it's like, oh shit, we need to get out of here.
You got to get on this before.
Yeah, it might have something to do with it.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe they sense chum in the waters with Twitter.
Like it's getting weak.
I thought Elon knew Zuckerberg was going to launch threads and that's why he started this whole we need to fight beef shit.
Oh, because I assume he knew this was coming.
That's a good take.
Yeah, I assume he got ahead of it once he heard about threads.
He hadn't heard before we heard.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, that's a great take.
I want to see that fight, though.
Yeah.
I would love to see that fight.
Elon.
I'm brutalizing him, son.
Yeah.
Elon's like 6'4 or something.
He's like a big fucking walrus-looking guy.
And Mark is, what, 5'8 ⁇ ?
Yeah, maybe.
Like, his jiu-jitsu is not good enough where you can mitigate that type of weight difference.
I don't think Elon's like working out, working out.
I think he's going to lay out.
He's just doing Ozempic.
I think Zuckerberg is fucking working out.
What was that workout shit that y'all did?
1200.
Oh, the Murph?
Yeah.
Zuckerberg doesn't.
He's getting after it.
Yeah.
I'll take a small guy who's 12 years older, though.
Elon's 52.
Zuckerberg is 39.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So maybe he just gets exhausted.
Yeah.
I mean, it's really interesting what Zuckerberg did.
It's he started doing jiu-jitsu and like integrated himself into MMA and then used that as clout for people to think that he was cooler than the painted white face guy that is a robot when he talks to Congress.
And it fucking worked.
It fucking worked.
Now he's talking shit on threads, talking shit on Instagram, saying, yo, let's fight.
Let's do jujitsu, whatever.
Like he jumps on the wave of MMA and the wave of MMA has so much, I guess, masculine clout that it denerified him.
He is cooler.
He is objectively uncooler.
He's looking cooler.
He just physically is doing cooler things.
Unbelievable.
It's like metaverse announcements too.
He's like, I'm Mark, and this is my digital.
Yeah, he bombed on that metaverse shit.
But he's looking cooler too, because like he's sitting now.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
How much of all this is also just like, yo, meta is in the fucking tank right now.
Let's lift evaluation by making me look better.
I can't make meta any better right now.
But I can make me look better.
100%.
The one I've been doing.
I feel like from the name change is that now that they have threads, the fact that it's not associated directly with Facebook, I actually think gives threads a better chance.
Like Facebook, I feel like it's such an antiquated name.
The idea of like a young person using a Facebook product feels weird to them.
So even just having it be meta, like threads by meta or whatever, makes it a little better.
And this is the first product I feel like they launched since changing the name.
So in that regard, I'm like, that is one benefit of just changing the name.
Even if the product, like the metaverse, didn't work, just having the name meta, I think, is better than Facebook.
Interesting.
And you can post videos and stuff on threads, right?
Yeah.
I think so.
So essentially, it's going to be a better version of Facebook.
Yeah.
The End Of An Empire00:05:17
It's like Facebook for young people.
Exactly.
So you replace Facebook or not even replace it.
You let the old people stay over there on Facebook and the young people start to adopt threads if they want to.
And it's really like, do black people do it?
That's what it's going to come down to.
If black people go on threads and it pops the fuck off and it's fun, like black Twitter is fun, then I think people will go.
If they don't, there's no fucking chance.
I think they're angling for younger people.
I think that's the goal.
But they got to get black Twitter going.
I haven't forgotten the name Spill and I'm like, I need to go see what's up over there.
That's hilarious.
Spill's kind of cool.
There's just not enough people yet.
And so that's why I think threads will probably win because it's just so easy to.
You need the numbers, bro.
And they've really made it easy to sign up.
It's like Apple Pay.
You know how the most annoying thing is typing in your fucking information when you're about to buy something online.
Your name, your fucking email, all these credit card, all these things.
And then Apple Pay came in and it was just like tap once, done.
I'll buy anything now.
Yeah.
There's no time for me to think about my purchase.
Yeah.
So they're so good at that.
You know, when you get a code sent to you, texted you, and then it just auto-populates.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, Apple's so good at all that.
Get rid of every buried entry possible.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's insane.
Help me spend.
Yeah.
Do you want to see the two of them fight?
No, I don't care.
Really?
I would.
I mean, I'll watch it.
I would watch it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would watch the shit out of it, but I don't think it's good for like America.
Why?
Like, two billionaires, like two of the biggest like technocrats that are like ruining the country.
If you've seen that movie, this is exactly what they would do.
Like, I just don't think it's like a good global look.
I don't know.
To me, it feels like end of the empire.
It feels like a falling empire.
I can see that.
I didn't think of it.
I don't know if it is, but it does have that feeling to me.
I think they just start like the new Logan Paul, Jake Paul fight league amongst billionaires.
Now it's like other billionaires going to want to get in there and be like, nah, I'm the toughest billionaire.
Yeah, that shit will be fire.
I think the best way to prove toughness of billionaires is like to keep America on course.
Like the corporations run the country and that's good and bad.
But as soon as they're less thinking about running the country, more thinking about like fucking up other billionaires within the same country, then I'm like, oh, that's bad for the country.
Yeah, that's a good point.
It is entertaining as shit.
Like, I'm going to watch it.
I'm here for entertainment, baby.
It is.
My country is a good time, not a long time.
And Circus Mother.
What did these Romans do?
That's what I'm saying.
It feels circusy.
But if the Romans had the empires in the gladiator ring or the emperors in the gladiator, you'd be like, whoa, but this is the thing.
But what do you think?
And we don't have the only billionaires.
Like, there's going to be other people getting into that.
You know, who?
One less Indian billionaire, but I mean, it might be other ones.
Oh, Pakistani, my bad.
That was my bad.
My bad, my bad.
But, bro, that's a celebrity.
Once they get in that, now it's going to be on some country shit.
Now we rooting for Zuck if he's going against the fucking Chinese billionaire.
Yeah.
That's fire.
That's kind of cool.
I don't think the Chinese billionaire.
I don't feel like they're going to be allowed to go in this league.
I don't think China specifically, I think China's going to be like, you could do that.
Another one, y'all could disappear.
We have no problem.
The question is, do we want Elon Musk spending 14 hours a week training or 14 hours a week solving the problems that will hopefully continue the great legacy of the United States of America?
I'd rather him train than spend 14 hours a week on Twitter.
But that's not what I understand, but I mean, he's already wasting his time doing shit that's not helping out the world.
So it's like, whatever.
If it takes him off Twitter, because he's kind of annoying on Twitter.
So, hey, I'd rather you fight than be on Twitter.
I had not 180 on a person this hard in quite a while.
I mean, I was all Elon everything.
Yeah.
And now I'm like, bro, no, fucking.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, shut up for a little bit.
Maybe I can go back to liking you again if you just shut the fuck up.
He just tweeted every once in a while some like smug shit.
It was funny.
It was hilarious.
Just too much.
Too much.
Now if he could fight, if he's fucking people up and then still sending rockets to the fucking walls.
Let's do it.
Remember when Jimmy Kennedy and Ted Cruz played basketball and it was like fucking three to four and they just had to cancel the match?
No, I'm not gay.
I've never seen that.
I've never seen that.
I didn't even know they did that.
Wait, what do you mean it was three to four?
It was like a horrible game.
It was like I think they called the game because it took too long.
I could be wrong.
But either way, it was just pathetic.
It's like, y'all aren't athletes.
Why are we watching this?
And this would be the same thing.
It'd be the same thing.
It would not be.
Maybe not for Zuckerberg as much because he's clearly in shape.
But for like, someone gets head trauma, someone is fucking thinks of.
That would be hilarious.
Yeah.
They're fighting each other.
That's a very real possibility.
Shows how much you care about UFC fighters.
Let those guys fuck their heads up.
Yeah, right?
The smart ones.
I mean, if you build a multi-billion dollar company, I'm going to be more concerned about your brain.
Yeah, the country isn't in their hands.
You know what I mean?
If they ran the country, then I'd be like, yo, you guys got to chill.
Keep doing country stuff.
Yeah.
But the corporations run America, so I'm like, keep doing this.
Yeah, I don't want your focus on this fight.
I'll be honest.
I mean, I don't really think they're going to fight.
Like, I think it's just publicity, and I think it's good for both of them.
Yeah.
But I don't really think that they're going to fight.
There's no way.
It does keep Twitter influence that much more.
I think Elon needs it.
Maybe.
He needs a W right now.
Maybe.
I mean, just focus on the cars, man.
Like, that's the other thing.
You know, how do all great empires die spreading themselves too thin?
And maybe that's what Elon's doing.
Like, he's built this great empire.
And he's got SpaceX secondarily.
You got Tesla.
You got SpaceX.
Corporate America Runs Wild00:15:30
Boring Company.
There's a bunch of different ones.
But it's like, yeah, maybe he's spreading himself too thin.
You know, why don't you focus on...
Now, granted, it's your life.
Do whatever you want with your life.
He does step down from Twitter.
Right.
Yeah.
So hopefully he's getting back on track.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anywho, what else we got going on?
Yeah, we can talk about your girl.
Yo, do you know what's going on with that?
There's a lot.
I try to figure it all out.
Okay.
It's a lot.
I write a couple of things.
Amanda, what is her name?
Miranda Sings.
Miranda Sings, yeah.
So what the fuck is happening to this girl?
Like, I think we need to educate people on who she is.
It might be a lot.
Yeah.
I mean, she's featured in Seinfeld's Comedians of Cars.
She did an episode.
He went on her show.
She's basically.
His Seinfeld's most watched episode, apparently.
Really?
Wow.
That's what I heard.
That is crazy.
So Colleen Ballinger is a internet influencer, YouTube, YouTuber, Internet celebrity, and basically got famous making like song parodies where she would like wear this crazy makeup, play this character Miranda Sings, and would sing like terrible covers of songs.
And that was like her character.
And she was like this wacky person.
Kids loved it.
Kids loved it.
Like her demo is probably like eight to like 15, something like that.
And then she kind of pivoted to just being like a YouTuber, had a kid, blah, blah, blah.
And this happened in 2020.
This kid that was basically running her fan account was posting a bunch of stuff.
Now, they came out in 2020.
All of this happened in like 2013 or 2014 when the kid was like 13, 14 years old.
And basically, she just starts like confiding in him like really personal things about like her divorce.
She starts telling him all of like these really like personal secrets because they built a relationship through him running her fan account.
They ended up like meeting up a few times and like going to dinner, yada, yada.
And then the whole big thing is that like she sent him lingerie.
That was like the big controversy that everyone's looking at.
I looked into it.
It's not as crazy as it sounds, even though it's still inappropriate.
Basically, they did like a lingerie reveal on one of her like live streams where her husband wore the lingerie over his clothes.
And then he was commenting like, oh, this is so funny, blah, blah, blah.
Like let me have it or something like that.
And then she basically sent him the lingerie.
How old is he?
I think at this time he was like 15 or 16, something like that.
And then, so she sent it to him and his parents were like, what the hell?
Like he lives in Dublin.
They were just like, what the fuck?
This is insane.
Super inappropriate.
They told him to cut off contact, took all the stuff from him.
I think other things transpired like in their interpersonal relationship.
I think she was asking about like pointed personal questions about like virginity and stuff like that.
I don't know the exact details.
That's wild though.
Like it's basically like having very personal conversations with like her underage fans and then also sending them like sexual clothing, even though it wasn't in the most sexual way.
It's still crossing a line.
So he basically pointed this out in 2020 and then it resurfaced now.
I don't really know exactly why, but it seems like it comes up like every year or so.
And then this one really popped off because she wrote like an apology, non-apology video where she sang her non-apology.
And that got people fired up too.
I saw that.
That was good.
Yeah.
It was good.
You like the...
Like, I mean, she has some bars in it.
But, but, like, no, no, no, no.
I'm curious.
Like, you thought it was like a smart PR move or the song was good.
Like, I didn't want it shit.
Oh, no.
I just like the fact that she was kind of like singing some bars and then talking, singing some bars.
I've never seen her before.
I don't know.
Maybe she does this all the time.
And I was like, oh, it was pretty impressive.
But outside of that, I think she's a little weird for engaging with young kids so much because I did a little research.
There was like a group chat where she had like a bunch of younger people in it.
I thought I read this.
Yeah.
And so it's like, and then she fired that kid who was, yeah, one, why do you have such a young kid running your social media?
He started it on his own.
I think I read she was like talking to him about her relationships and her issues.
It's like, and then she fired him for posting something inappropriate, even though she had okayed the post, which I'm like, that's fucked up.
But yeah, she just sounds a little off.
Sounds like she's on spectrum a little bit.
She doesn't realize that she does things that are a bit inappropriate until it comes back up and to bite her in the ass.
Yeah.
Do you know more?
No, that's the extent of my knowledge.
Did I miss anything on that, Miles?
Do you know anything else?
No, I mean, she had some like later on things with like Trisha Paytas and like they had a show.
How long ago did you stop running her fan account?
Weeks.
Literally weeks ago.
No, did you watch this lady?
Like where you were.
No, no, no.
I never did.
I just caught up on it with Phil DeFranco.
He explained everything pretty well.
Yeah.
But the song's wild.
She opens going, they told me not to talk about this, but they didn't tell me not to sing about it.
That's sort of funny.
That sounds like some shelt shit.
Everybody tells you, hey, don't talk about this.
Oh, so guys.
But yeah, so I don't know.
It just seems inappropriate.
I don't know if it's like, I don't know if she's like grooming.
Like those are like the accusations on her.
I don't know how you can really prove that.
I don't know if she had intent to like do sexual behaviors with these kids.
Maybe she did.
I have no idea.
Ain't nobody want to fuck your kid, yo.
Ain't nobody want to fuck your kid.
I mean, tell these parents, nobody wants to fuck up.
Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
No.
They made 10 seasons.
Yeah, about so many people.
How many women were on that show?
How many women were on that show?
It was a canful.
There's a handful.
No.
Yeah, there's a couple.
Ain't no bitches on Tech Predicted.
Were there bitches on To Catch a Predator?
Yeah, I think famously, there was a couple.
Find a bitch from Tecatch a Predator.
I'm looking.
I'm looking.
Thank you.
Come on, get out of here, bro.
But yeah, she's huge.
Like, I didn't realize how big she was in terms of following.
Oh, dude, maybe he caught no female predators, dude.
Might even write, my dog.
Yeah.
Come on, Sank.
I don't think there was a Chelsea knows his predator.
Come on, Seth.
Boy, out here.
What about all these female teachers who fuck the students?
Man, why are you bringing up?
Yeah, why are you bringing up all that?
She's not a teacher, bro.
She's an artist.
Hey, none of these artists want to fuck your kids, parents.
I mean, she's a goof for sending the lingerie to a 15-year-old.
Like, you're just an idiot because you should be thinking, like, oh, this could potentially go wrong.
She says it in the live stream.
That's what I'm saying.
What did she say?
So, literally, like, the kids talking, he's like, oh, let me have it.
Like, send it to me.
Or, like, oh, I, something to the effect of that he expressed interest in it.
And then she basically was like, oh, yeah, we're definitely going to send it to him.
It's going to be so funny we're going to send it to him.
His parents are probably going to be like, oh, my gosh, why is this girl sending my kid lingerie?
Whatever.
And then send it to him.
In the moment, she's even recognizing how crazy it is and still did it.
So this is ridiculous.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
She also shouldn't be confiding personal information to children.
That's just weird.
It's not sexual, I don't think, but it's just weird.
Like, why are you friends with kids?
Yeah, that's.
You ever talk to kids?
Bro, y'all are annoying, man.
Bro, I'm hanging out with nephews.
I don't know how many times they ask him, so what's school like?
Every question is, what is school like, bro?
You got friends at school.
What's school about?
And that's the whole conversation every day.
And it's constant just being like, yeah, that sounds crazy.
Because you're just like, you know what?
Let me get out of this.
If she was doing this on Twitch, it'd be totally okay.
If she was just on Twitch confiding, whatever the fuck she was confiding.
Yeah.
And it would be the same age people watching.
You can tell everyone.
You just can't tell anyone.
Yeah.
How many people were in that group chat?
Oh, I don't know the exact amount.
I don't think it was a lot.
I think it was like a handful of like her superheroes.
What was inappropriate that she was confiding in?
The Trisha Paytas photos is one thing that people bring up.
So Trisha Paytas has an OnlyFans, and apparently she was sharing the photos from the OnlyFans of Trisha Paytas in a group chat that had minors in it and like in a mocking way.
What were the photos?
I don't know.
Was it nude photos?
Was it photos of her dog?
The worst kind of thong surfing.
It says adult content.
Dong surfing?
Dong surfing.
That's pornographic, bro.
Dong surfing.
Yo, what really happened to y'all?
Y'all got to surf.
Y'all feeling insecure now about your position.
Not at all.
Really, not at all.
You're really wrong for that one.
Y'all are crazy, bro.
Said surfing.
I felt less insecure as it went off because when you started, I was like, am I crazy?
And then all of us were like, nah, he's crazy.
Wait, until your wait till your wife gets some dude friends to surf and we're going to see him keep the same energy.
Wait until your wife.
You guys are just in a position where you know your wife isn't going to do that shit.
Yeah.
So you have an answer.
Because she wasn't doing it before I met her.
But she couldn't.
She could find surfing.
No new shit.
See, there's no news.
See?
We have new shit.
We do new shit together.
But what if she wants to do it?
You over here?
You're doing a pod.
You know, you're away.
What if she wants to go do some of that shit with her and her dude friends?
That's the boundaries that we set.
So you like Jonah.
You and Jonah are the same.
No, he's not.
He's completely separate.
So your only issue is that she did it before him.
Yeah, yeah, you can't get with somebody and then just try to change them completely.
Like, she did that.
Have you met women, bro?
Have you met women, bro?
Any woman saying this shit is toxic is crazy when they try to change us completely after they meet us.
Every single one.
I mean, you a whole bitch.
You know what I mean?
This motherfucker was a savage dicking down everything before he got dicking them down.
That's a good point.
Straight dick.
Dicking everyone down.
Everybody.
You remember that?
No.
Punching dick and bitches.
That was him.
Oh, I missed this.
I got a loser all the time.
You was locked up sucking sitting in his box, probably.
If you were dating a girl and she said, yo, you can't do stand-up anymore.
That would be crazy.
Don't even stop him, bro.
What do you mean?
Like, thinking.
Stop thinking.
What do you mean?
What do you mean, bro?
She's like, why are you making all these other women laugh?
Wow.
After a section, why are you doing crowd with other women?
Athrodisiac laughter is an aphrodisiac.
These girls are getting turned on and said you're making them being all vulnerable with all these other women.
No woman would ever say that because they want nice things.
Dumbass.
No woman's ever going to ask you to stop doing the thing that provides for your lifestyle.
But you're such a smart talented guy.
You could get a different job that doesn't have that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Women don't believe that.
They believe this is your talent.
Keep doing that shit and keep buying all this nice stuff.
Come on.
That's a ridiculous question.
Let's say I had a hobby.
Oh, it was talking to bitches in the park.
And she was like, yo, can you stop that hobby talking to bitches in the park?
But that's how you met me.
Let's say.
I was like, yo, that's how we met.
She's like, yeah, that's how we met.
Now that stops because you might meet someone else.
Exactly.
That's what they're afraid of.
Exactly.
You met me that way.
You're going to meet someone else.
That's what Joan is thinking.
We met surfing.
You might meet someone else.
Did they meet Surfing?
Yeah.
I don't fucking know.
That cares.
It was your scenario, which was that's how you met me.
That's all I'm trying to say.
Why are you guys thinking that this is ridiculous when you all agree with it?
Y'all just too pussy to say the same thing.
Yo, y'all need to put some boundaries on your ladies, bro.
For real.
That'll be a boundary of your ladies, bro.
That'll be a boundary among out of bounds, bro.
Sometimes they be stepping out of bounds.
Oh, man.
If you can bust out a whistle.
If I actually could have whistled right there, can we edit that?
Can we put a whistle?
Put a whistle in.
Put a whistle in.
Oh my God, no.
Y'all really, really, y'all just wild for that one.
I'm wild.
You really wild.
You're wild for that one.
I'm wild.
You need some rules out.
Yo, Al's.
Wait, but what about the Kiki Pollard?
That ain't where it goes.
The Kiki Paula situation.
What about it?
What about it?
I mean, what about it?
What about it?
How you feel in that situation?
Kiki can do no wrong.
Respect black women, bro.
Respect black queens.
Respect black women.
Kiki can do no wrong.
Oh, my God.
A beautiful black woman like that just trying to have a nice night out with Ursher.
Come on.
Kiki can do no wrong.
Winnie Harlow, low-key, was disrespectful when she curbed Usher the next day.
Oh, I was disrespectful.
You can't curb Ursher like that.
You step on it, curb.
Curb, curb.
He curved.
Kicked him to the curb.
Yeah, kicked him to the curb.
Kurt Ursher.
Kurt Ursher like that.
But for real, what would you want your girl to do in that situation?
Get sung to?
Would you?
Yeah.
You would want her to get sung to.
Absolutely.
Nah.
We out.
I want to get sung to by Usher.
Say what?
I want to get sung to by Usher.
Really?
What song would you like?
Anyone.
Which one?
He got hits.
All of them.
What's your favorite one?
There Goes My Baby.
Low-key, this is great.
PR for Usher is Vegas.
Oh, dude, dude, 1,000.
We need to go.
We need to go.
1,000%.
And he's so incredible, and he's so fucking talented.
So he deserves all the attention.
He deserves the flowers.
I'm glad the younger generation is finding about Usher.
Yes.
That's another reason I wouldn't be able to care about my girl finding about Usher because he's too old for it.
She don't know that.
That's the other thing.
Like, there was that girl.
What's the girl, Saweetie?
Saweetie was getting sung to by Usher, and she wasn't reacting to it because she don't know no words to song.
She didn't go through this.
She doesn't know U-S-H-E-R.
Oh, Indy.
Oh, fuck.
My bad.
Like Joe to see.
I got him waiting.
Don't put it.
You got a watch.
You got to know the words here.
No, no, I know the word.
I fucked up for you.
You fucked up.
I just knew that no time.
That's why my body shut down.
My body shut down.
I was like, my body shut down.
I was like a submarine, bro.
Implosion.
Yo, I'm tired.
My drop top.
I have to bleed that, though.
I got a real pretty, pretty little thing that's waiting for me here.
I know it.
I know.
I pulled up.
Anticipation.
Good love.
Don't keep me waiting.
I got plans to put my hands in places I don't ever seen.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Let him take it to a place nice and quiet.
I don't gotta rush.
I just wanna take it.
Nice slow.
Don't let us sing to your girl.
Don't let us sing to your girl.
No, I anticipate it.
Good love.
Don't keep me waiting.
Wait, we just sung.
We skipped one.
We kind of just repeat this.
All I'm saying is, Usher is gonna have your girl drip, drop, drip, naked, getting butt fucked.
So be careful.
So be careful, yo.
Be careful.
That's what you gotta do: be careful when you go to the Ursha show.
I want to go now.
Safari And Slow Love00:03:17
Shit.
We gotta go.
Yeah, let's go.
We gotta go.
Go.
Gotta get something too.
Let's bring our girls.
We fired, isn't it?
Come on.
Date night, dude.
Boundaries.
Boundary.
We need boundaries, bro.
My girl.
I'm trying to get something too.
I'll be jealous.
I'll be kicking her out of here.
I can't believe y'all want your girls to be surf instructors, losing ass motherfuckers.
Y'all are crazy for that, bro.
Y'all are really crazy for that.
Come on, bro.
You want your girl's job in a bikini?
You were a surf instructor, bro.
I'm a man.
It's different.
I built different, Mark.
What if that girl showed up?
Would you say, yo, you can't be wearing that around me?
I'm a man.
She got a man.
She's Dane Jonah.
We still filming you, people?
We still filming you, people's?
Put a fucking shirt on, yo.
Put a fucking shirt on.
Put some pants on.
Put some jeans on before I take it out here.
Where you slap?
Put your fucking jeans on.
Surf trousers?
Get your dungarees on, yo.
Oh, my God.
Tired as shit.
You were a surf instructor in Fire Island.
That's wild.
You wild boy over there.
Are you for the LGBTQ?
Are you against it?
Yo, gays can surf too.
Gays can surf too.
Are they good at it?
Say what?
Are they good at surf?
Very.
Really?
Very.
They ask your leaking.
Surfing on here.
Tandem.
Surfboard.
Tandem.
Had your asshole leaking for a week, bro.
My asshole never leaves.
Not once.
Only in Bodrum and Santrape.
I'm offended.
Did it leak violently?
Oh, my goodness.
Are you ever going to go to like a like a like a third world country like Africa or some shit?
Like Safari?
Africa's not a country.
I mean, that's just fucking insane.
That was great.
Like, yo, fuck that.
I'm on.
Stop it.
Stop behaving how you dress for like two seconds, bro.
I know that.
That was literally an insane thing.
I was trying to gear to a joke.
Multiple times.
I was gearing together.
It's a third-world country like Africa, like Safari.
Neither of which are country.
What a fucking dumb guy.
Third world country as a country.
No, he's a terrible rapper, dude.
Safari, bro.
Come on.
I got plans to put my hands in places I've never seen, girl.
You know what I mean?
Let me take you to a place nice and quiet.
There ain't no one that to interrupt.
Girl, gotta rush.
I just wanna take it nice and slow.
You really never heard of this.
Since we've been waiting for this for so long.
Making love until the sun comes up.
Baby, I just wanna take it nice and slow.
Akash, go with the solo.
I forget it.
Now, tell me, do you wanna get free?
I fuck you right.
I will.
You ride up.
I fuck you like a surf instructor.
Never make you feel.
Those are lyrics.
You like a surf instructor that I make you feel.
Invites To Exclusive Parties00:13:55
He says that.
That's a song.
Let them be surfing, bro.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I did not know that was.
Hey, let them be out there surfing, bro.
Wow.
Surfing is crazy.
My bad.
Yo, you guys are insane people, bro.
I realize how crazy that song just gets out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere.
It's just like loving sensual, and then it's like surfboard.
Surfboard.
Come on, bro.
Shout out to Asha.
He's a.
Oh, I thought you were talking about Beyonce.
Beyonce.
That was a crazy, crazy line.
Surfboard?
Surfboard.
Riding all that wood right on.
Dude, surfboarders.
And Jay-Z not built like a surfboard, really.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's not any more boogie board or something like that.
You know, like, or, you know, something else.
Like, bean bag pillow.
Bean bag pillow.
Bean bag pillow.
I guess that's good.
That sounds good.
Does it sound as good?
What other things could he be a bit?
Al, you got anything?
Yo, Al.
You don't got nothing?
Come on, bro.
You're going to go to the brunch next year, no matter what.
You're going to be at the Rock Nation brunch.
God willing, baby.
Al, Rock Nation brunch or the Hamptons party of Rick.
Oh, Michael Rubin.
Oh, that's hard.
That's fool.
Yeah, it's not even a question.
I don't know.
Except Michael Rubin party because Jay-Z was there anyway.
That is.
Get the twofa.
Yeah.
Yeah, you might.
And black people look good in all white, too.
Yeah.
You guys do look very good.
I do that.
You look very good.
Puffy used to throw that party, though, right?
When we were.
I always thought it was Puffy's party.
He does the New Year's.
Coffee's always New Year's.
Back in the day, no, no, no.
He used to do a Halatin white party.
Had you guys heard of Michael Rubin before this?
Doesn't he own the 76ers?
Own a PDF.
He owns Spanish.
And then he started getting like publicly famous because he really helped to get Meek Mill out of jail.
Sent him to helicopter off of there.
Because of this, I heard him on all the smoke and I was like, who is this guy everybody loves?
And I was like, this guy seems great.
Like great answers to every question.
Seemed honest in a way that was not gross.
He just seemed like I was like, oh, yeah, I would love this guy.
No, I don't invite me to the white party.
All right, I'm free next year.
You want to invite me on white party next year?
He's one of the good ones.
Would you want to go?
One of the good ones?
Like, what do you mean, like of the blue squares or no?
The good whites.
He's what I'm going to go with.
Blue square.
Oh, he's a blue square.
Oh, he's a blue square.
Would I go?
Yeah.
Would you go?
Are you kidding?
If I wanted to go this year, but oh, stop.
Are you kidding?
Doug could find a way.
Yeah, I guarantee you.
I just took it back.
I was like, you know what?
Plus one would be hard, but he could get himself 100%.
You're lying if you say it looks way.
Put it this way: it looks way more fun than the Met Gala.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
This looks like people are getting drunk and just being goofy and they're not wearing some uncomfortable fucking outfit that they can't.
They can move around in.
Yeah, exactly.
Now, the only thing would be, the only thing that would make me feel potentially uncomfortable is if I wasn't going with anybody that I knew because I could imagine it being really isolating.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
But if you had like six people there and you're just people watching the most famous people, everybody there is people watching.
Yeah.
Right?
And everybody there is the most famous, like in their little sphere.
You think there's a few people that are like the alpha still that everybody's watching?
Like in my mind, Jay-Z, everybody's still looking at Jay-Z.
Of course.
And Jay's probably not looking at that many people.
Of course.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
And there's somebody there that Jay-Z is like, there's like some art collector there.
Jay-Z is like, oh, I hope I get to talk to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think maybe that's the cool thing about it.
You see people act like fans to other famous people.
I was thinking meeting everybody, like the networking, would be crazy, even if you don't get anything out of it.
The opportunity.
You make deals probably get made from that shit.
He should get 10%.
It's like shark tank.
This is like rich motherfucker shark tank.
Yeah.
And then you're going to blame the Jews for taking 10% again.
I mean, I would.
How did you do that, dude?
How did you do that?
My baby was even going to get ahead of the story when he comes out Illuminati and then you're like, You're in the story.
You're the media.
Don't worry about it.
What do you mean?
You control it.
I like Jews.
I like most Jews.
This one I'm not so fond of right now.
You're the one who brought it up.
I just said he was a good white.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How does he know he's Jewish?
I didn't.
Come on.
I don't think about that.
It makes sense when you say it, but we don't think about it beforehand.
That's what I'm saying.
When you say it, we're like, oh, yeah, obviously.
But we don't think about it.
I don't think.
If you see a collection of cool black people around a white guy, there's a 99.9% chance he's a Jew.
There's a 99.9% chance he's Jews.
Yes.
Black people don't have good Judar.
No, because we don't, most minorities don't know.
We don't.
No, like successful whites that are not Jewish don't want black people around.
That's probably true.
Yeah, this is like a really rich like white white guy, not Jewish, would never throw a party and then just be like hugging up with a bunch of black people.
Most of us never hang with Joel and B.
Yeah.
It's like, how do I get the fuck away from everybody that's not a billionaire?
It's really endearing that he would hang out with so many poor people.
Like he would throw a party with all these poors compared to him.
Relative to him.
He's a fucking billionaire.
Okay, so Jay's.
I'm not saying black people are poor.
I'm saying they're all these people who are to him.
Jack Harlow's poor.
It don't matter.
They're all poor.
Like billionaires, that's fucking adorable.
That's how we look at 100 heirs.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
Like if he's big billionaire, I don't know how much money he's got, but if he's big billionaire, he can be hanging out with fucking Buffett.
He can hang out with Amazon and all those guys.
That's their crew.
And he's decided to hang around with Lil Baby.
What's his name?
The Baby?
Lil Baby?
Lil Baby.
Like, that's cool.
That's adorable.
11 billion.
He's got 11 billion.
Yeah.
I mean, that's big boy.
You're looking at Jay-Z like, catch up.
11 billion.
Robert Kraft is 10.
I didn't know.
10 billion.
Most of that's probably his NFL team, though.
That's what's crazy is they don't have the same valuations NBA team.
How did Ruben?
I don't even know if he's the sole owner of the NBA team.
I don't think he is.
Wow, you don't know how to do it.
I don't think it's Fanatics.
Fanatics is worth tens of billions.
I don't know what his share is, but something else too.
Let's say it's 10 billion, right?
What is 10% of 10 billion?
A billion.
That's 1 billion.
5% of 10 billion.
It's fine.
$500 million.
That's the interest he could be making on his money a year.
So just, this is when you see billionaires doing this stuff that like they're like, why are they flying a helicopter to their yacht?
Shultzy loopholes.
Okay, here we go.
Think about it.
Think about it.
They can't spend the money.
So much is coming back.
They're at terminal velocity.
So much is coming back that you have $500 million to spend.
If you don't have a drug addiction or a gambling problem, you can't spend $500 million and not have assets in a year.
Yeah.
Like, think about $500 million.
That's just interest.
So, of course, let me get the private jet and fly a bunch of all these people.
Like, I love the fact that he's being generous.
I love the fact that he's spending a few million on this party.
It's nothing.
The interest is paying you back.
That's if he has it all cash.
He has it in investments and that kind of stuff.
Sure.
Don't billionaires want to be loved and they're afraid that the poor are going to rise up against them.
If they were smart, they would just want to be anonymous.
That's why I think real billionaires are mostly anonymous.
Also, by the way, why don't they just go around just giving out money?
But think about it like this, too.
Fnatics went from trading cards.
It's going to become a huge betting platform.
I think he had to sell his stake in order to buy the 76ers.
And now, because no, now he's going to sports betting.
So this anyway makes his brand look just that much better and cooler.
Oh, it's a huge brand.
Huge.
I mean, I'll be honest with you.
I think it was last year there was one.
Was it last year?
Yes.
And then this year, those are the only two I've ever heard of it.
I only knew of a white party with Puffy.
Yeah.
I had never.
I've never heard of this.
I never heard of it till this year.
This year, it feels like this has been going on for 20 years.
I didn't know about it.
Yeah.
With the coverage, the press coverage.
I know it has been going on for quite some time.
Yeah.
Because I've heard about this party for a while.
I don't know.
I'm just saying now it just feels like there was COVID and these other things, but now it feels like, dude, to get celebrities to be in the Hamptons in July when they could be in Italy or France or Greece.
Like they're choosing to be.
The Hamptons is nice, don't get me wrong, but you're still in New York in July.
Yeah.
You got to, you know what I'm saying?
Like it's not the best time, right?
But for them, he's making that cool again and it's now part of a social calendar.
Whatever it was for the rest of Europe, they're like, you're there, then you go.
Yeah.
Where does everyone stay?
Like, just hotels and shit?
They rent these houses.
They rent houses for $50,000 a week.
Like, it's insane.
Does he set it up or they are?
They have to figure it out.
If y'all figure that shit out.
And I'm sure he houses a certain amount of them.
I was listening to the All the Smoke podcast, and I think it was Matt Barnes was like, I got my suit ready, and it didn't sound like he had been invited yet.
But I felt was he hadn't been invited yet, but he's like, hey, can I, I can come, right?
Like, it's just crazy to listen to this guy.
And again, I could be misreading, but he was like, hey, I got my white suit ready.
And Michael Rubin was like, yeah, it could be misinterpreting.
Maybe I'm curious how he managed it.
That's how sought after it is.
That's the interesting thing.
How do you manage it?
Because, you know, everybody wants to go and there's going to be somebody who's too famous to ask, but not famous enough to be invited that is going to ask you.
And they're going to say it.
And you're going to have to handle that.
That's a tricky thing.
Stephen A. Smith.
Oh, that was hilarious.
No, what happened?
Stephen A. Smith had a video that's like, why wasn't I invited?
Oh, wow.
On his pod.
I mean, that is kind of true.
Like, why?
I'd want Stephen A there.
Or do you not want the media guy there?
Because then it makes all the athletes feel uncomfortable letting loose.
But I think they know that he's seen it all and they're still.
Still, if I'm an NBA player or if I'm in any athlete.
If you're James Harden and your whole reputation is you don't love basketball, you love strippers and booze.
I don't even want to see the guy who's been criticizing me for this.
Yeah, 100%.
Can't have any media there.
I think it's also he likes the cool factor.
So just because Stephen A is that guy is like no one's looking at it yellow.
Stephen A is so cool.
Wait, break down.
I think Michael Rubin really likes the cool factor.
So he has all these cool, influential people.
Because like Lil Baby is like.
Stephen A is cool for a journalist.
Yeah.
But he's not.
He's not.
Oh, I see.
That's why I think how they come up with the invite list.
The invite list.
Like who has the clout?
Yeah, but then you got to tell somebody you don't have the clout.
You ain't got to lie.
I don't think it's him.
But that person might have your number.
You're going to see them.
Like you're going to see them at games.
You know, like, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, that, that type of shit is.
You might even just say you have to just lie or just be like, it's not out of my hands.
My people handled it.
They got their way.
I don't know.
You know, the craziest thing is I.
I probably do that.
Michael Rubin probably has a lot of close, nerdy friends.
Super close.
They're like, sorry.
And he's got to say, this ain't really a party.
This is a PR spend.
And I unfortunately can't have you guys here for it.
We're all going to go to Santa Pay this fucking summer together and we're going to take the jet and it's going to be amazing.
You guys are going to love it.
But this specific party has to be done in this way and you just need to accept that.
And I imagine that these people, if they're also Titans of business, are going to go, yeah, I don't give a fuck.
I don't even want to be in this stupid charade.
It is funny, though.
People always want what they don't have.
The one thing a lot of billionaires are missing is that, I'm assuming.
So they might be like, what the fuck, bro?
I just think I just want to go meet these people.
That's it.
That's all I want.
Billionaires probably also don't get told no very often.
Oh, yeah.
So if it does, they do it probably.
Also, no billionaires being told no by Rubin.
It's going to be his like friends that like his head accountant that he has a personal relationship with and that.
And I imagine you have enough room.
I don't know.
We should ask him about that.
That's interesting.
How do you handle the politics of it?
And like the invite list to get one person to be a domino fall for all the other people.
Exactly.
Oh, Jay-Z's coming.
Like, hey, man, I'd love to have you come out.
I think a couple people are coming out, Jay-Z, whatever.
And then everyone's like, oh, how'd it start?
I don't know how that holds.
How do you get the pieces together?
It's like a movie.
I would love to.
You get Tom Hanks to sign on for a movie.
Everybody else is easy.
You get Tom Brady to be the quarterback of your team.
Everybody else is coming.
I'll play for the minimum.
Yep.
And what is the promotional tool here?
Is this for Fanatics or is this for his personal brand?
Is it a movie?
I'm sure you love the fact that everyone's saying your name as much, but Fanatics is definitely being from this founder and CEO of Fanatics throwing the coolest party with the coolest people.
They might become brand ambassadors and not be fucked over like FTX.
I think they actually trust him.
I think a lot of those folks are like, oh, this is aspirational shit.
Like this is, these are Jay-Z's friends.
These are Tom Brady's friends.
These are these guys.
So let's be here.
And he's playing Love Matchmaker.
Oh, yeah, Tom Brady and Kim K. You think that was real?
I don't know.
Rumored.
But, you know, can't trust anything.
I heard there's another rumor about him and Emily Radikowski.
Word?
That's what F.A. said.
There's both those rumors out there from the whiteboard.
Wow.
Tom.
Tom going through it.
Going through it.
Going through it.
Going through them.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
Going through the hits.
Yeah, Tom.
I mean, I don't know if he's knocking it down in the mansion.
Maybe.
I mean, yeah, what do you do?
Who do you date?
Yeah.
Please not Kim.
Rumors About Tom Brady00:06:15
I just, she'd be ruining too many dudes' lives.
I can't.
Come on.
Let's keep it.
Yeah.
I think Portnoy did a thing about that, too.
He was just going crazy.
He's like, don't.
And I, I.
But he has to have a little fun.
You got to have fun.
But you ain't going to have fun with a Kardashian.
They're going to have fun with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to be very careful.
Yeah.
What else we got, boys?
What else we got?
Anyway, Saul Mahayat got some super fat juggernauts, sloppy tits, fucking suck them on.
You don't have to read it word for word, dude.
I don't.
Okay.
Anyways, that was the bottom headlines.
That was the boss of headlines.
But no, for real, Salma Hayek got some Victor Wembing Yamas.
She really got some Wembing Yamas, dude.
Oh my God.
I was like, Wembin Yamati, Gotzi, Shaba, Ding Dong.
It was crazy diving in that little pool.
Show them little things.
56.
I mean, that's crazy.
She's 50.
How old?
56.
All right.
I don't think so.
I think she's 53.
She got to be a good 53 or 52.
It's three years, bro.
There's no way she's 56.
I know what a 56-year-old titt looks like.
That's not 56-year-old titties.
How do you know?
I know.
Look at Google her age right now.
See how old she is.
How do you know that?
I know it.
I know what a 56-year-old titty looks like.
I know what a 52-year-old titty look like.
That ain't no 56-year-old titty, Mark.
Look at her.
Look it up, Mark.
Mom, bro.
Come on now.
Look it up, bro.
Come on.
56.
She was born in 1966.
She's from the 60s.
That's where she's from.
Her parents fucked in the 60s.
But here's the thing, Mark.
When does a woman get titties?
Son, she's damn near 57.
When does a woman get titties?
I don't want to say you say it around puberty.
It doesn't happen.
Which doesn't happen for a few years.
So you got to lop off.
Yeah, you got to lop off a good decade plus from them knockaboots.
So them knockaboots?
That's an insane question to ask someone, bro.
Them knockaboots probably ain't come around.
They got to ask us a couple of guys that yo, when does a girl get tits?
Yo, for real.
How many bop mitzvah does she need for them titties, bro?
Them titties are minus one fop mitzvah.
They didn't start barnyard bopping until the teenage years.
So you're saying her titties maybe are 40?
I'm saying her titties probably for premium, if we want to put it 18 to be premium, starts around 18.
Do the math.
Do the math.
You got to knock 18 years off of that.
What's 56 minus 18?
38.
38.
Huh?
38.
That's a 38-year-old set of hot cha-hatches.
Divided by two.
Divided by two.
No, that's a 38-year-old set of hot cha-hatch.
Come on, bro.
Good point.
Yeah.
So when you look at them, you're like, all right, that makes sense.
Yeah.
These are just young.
Yeah, they are.
38, that's young.
Ain't nothing younger than 38.
No, it ain't, Mark.
Oh, really?
37 ain't younger than 38.
When you really think about it, when you think about it, when you do the math, he puts it like that.
That's a good point.
When you do the math, it ain't.
Hey, it ain't, Mark.
Do the math.
Go, Al.
Is she crossing your boundaries?
What does that mean?
Like, if you, if this was your shorty, hypothetically speaking, could she do that?
Once you go through menopause, once you have children, you go through menopause, you can do whatever you want with your body.
Surf it up.
Surf it up.
No, for real, surfboard.
Still having titties like that after you push a human being out of you, bro?
You deserve to celebrate.
You make some life, you make some babies.
You go 57 years to fight gravity for 38 of them, bitches.
Throw them up on the gram, girl.
You earned it.
Okay.
23 years, your titties still sitting up by your chin the way they should be.
That ain't nothing to brag about.
Did y'all know this rural book?
I've learned it today.
Thank you.
I've never heard of it.
I was unfamiliar.
Yeah, we in class.
Wow.
I'm just saying, like, I don't know.
No, I'm saying, what's a woman?
Yeah, yeah.
Listen, that's how I'm doing.
Listen, I'll be honest.
I'll be honest.
What is a woman?
Listen, what is a woman?
Listen.
When a woman has put her body through childbirth multiple times and lives to talk about it and her shit is still together, she only shows it off.
She only had one kid.
One Mexican.
That's one Mexican kid.
So you know a few snuck out of the business and documented one.
But you know, two or three was in there as well.
Like, finally, we made it.
Whoa, look at what we got to fuck on later.
So much fun.
Gonna be really tall.
And beak.
You don't even need an ID anymore.
No, you don't, bro.
That's crazy.
Come on.
Look where Al snuck into this country, bro.
Snuck himself into this country.
Snuck his business.
Be careful.
Be careful.
I'm just saying.
You snuck.
You didn't have a passport.
You didn't even have a passport.
Crazy.
Why do you think it's that?
Mom didn't need a passport to be able to.
I don't know.
Why do you think?
Why do you think?
Why are you so confident she was going to be able to get in the country?
They're the same fucking age, too.
That's just crazy.
Woo!
My mom and some eye.
Ain't no way, bro.
Ain't no way you're pushing the conversation in this direction.
Ain't no way.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Hold on.
Are you saying your mom's got some bops over that?
Is that what she tries to say?
She felt a few sexic kids before she dropped the car.
Creepy Confidence At Borders00:10:27
She right there giving age, bro.
That's all I'm talking about, bro.
Come on, let's watch her dive into the pool and that water level rise up.
Rise up.
Come on, rise up.
Rise up.
Come on.
What's the next one, Gook?
Every 10 years are all here.
We can't concentrate.
But we make our best content.
I know.
Oh, my.
There we go.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
The heavies.
But that's the thing.
You get to that age.
You should be able to show off your body like that because it's unique.
Oh, goodness gracious.
And the feet.
And her billionaire husband lets her do this.
Exactly.
We mean let's.
She gets to do whatever she wants, bro.
She created life, bro.
Women that created life can dress like slots because they created life.
Of course.
They went through it.
They've earned it.
They put their body through the grinder.
Which billionaire husband is she with?
Who she?
Peto.
The guy who's the founder of Keering Group or head of Kearing Group, Gucci, St. Laurent, Steve McQueen.
He's like the LVMH, but different group.
A lot of money.
But can we just acknowledge what women go through, bro?
And why they should be able to show off their bodies and why the ones who haven't gone through it shouldn't?
I feel you.
I hate you.
What?
Y'all look at a woman who's like 45 and still in good shape and you're like, God damn, good for you, yo.
What you had to do to accomplish that, the suffering you had to go through?
Yeah.
Sure.
I'd be like, I give them, when they walk by, I give them a...
You beat your chest once?
I go, I give them just one.
You know what I mean?
Out of respect.
Do they know what you're doing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They'd be like, huh?
What?
Nah, they don't get it.
But they should.
Why?
Should we be able to sexually.
Nope.
The answer is no.
I'm just going to stop you right there.
What about should we be able to sexually also no to that one?
No, I want to hear it.
Okay, should we be able to sexually comment on women over 50?
In front of them?
Why not?
Since they're out of the sexual experience.
Like, you can't knock them up, right?
So it can't be that sexual, right?
It's not like the purpose of sex is obviously procreation, right?
But so it's like, it's not really.
But I, I know.
Alley, what are you talking about?
No, but for real, I'm just saying, it should be viewed more as a compliment.
Like, fucking very cheerio, bitch.
You know what I'm saying?
Come on.
Where do you want to start on that one?
Where do you want to start?
I don't know.
I don't know where to start.
Is the purpose of sex procreation?
I don't know.
You like that.
Girl, girl.
Y'all never jet lagged and horny.
Come on.
But don't you think that?
No, you gotta, you just gotta turn gay when a sexy old woman is walking by.
Oh, wow.
Because then you can say all the shit you want.
How do you do it?
What do you say?
What do you do?
How do you?
I don't know.
Pull up that video.
You know what I'm trying to talk about?
Yeah.
That shit was funny when he went up to the dude.
Bro, bro.
You gotta say it.
Just saying he said this shit was great.
He starts with bitches.
He's like.
He says slay bitch to multiple girls.
And then bitch or some shit.
He just a clean bitch and he's like, bitch ass nigga.
I'm like slay bitches.
Oh, yeah.
That's wild.
He wild for that.
And the dude, the black dude was confused.
He was like, I got to snuff him, but he's gay.
It's crazy that you can get away with anything as long as you're gay.
Watch this.
Slay bitches.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Slay bitch.
Slay bitch ass nigga.
That's so crazy.
So yes, you just got to do that.
Holding the flag is funny.
So when a selma walked by be like, slay bitch.
So a gay guy could cut.
Wait, wait, wait.
Feel me on this.
You're trying to go undercover.
Feel me on this.
No, no.
Feel me on this.
A gay guy could compliment a woman sexually.
Yes.
And it's okay.
Why is it okay?
Mark already knows where I'm going.
Why is it okay?
It's okay because you know that gay guy is not about that crotch.
He don't want that pussy.
He don't want it.
Okay.
So it's safe.
There's nothing sexual about it because he doesn't have any sexual desires with that fucking cha-cha-ta-ta.
Okay.
That's why.
And that's why if we see a 55-year-old woman, woman walking around, bucket useless, but beautiful.
Bucket useless.
Bucket useless, but beautiful.
We should be able to do the same thing.
Fucking that dry.
Fucking dry.
Empty.
Yeah.
Get your little sandpaper snatched over here so I can sniff it up real quick.
Give you a compliment.
It sounds very sexual.
Yeah, I guess that is.
I guess how do we say it like that guy?
Slay bitch.
Yeah, slay bucket.
Slay bucket.
Yeah.
Like, how do gays hoot like that?
Fuck.
All right.
What else do they do?
Did you go like that?
No?
Okay.
All right.
Shit.
Well, then, how do we do it like them?
We have to find a way to sexually compliment women that we would not sleep with in the same way that gays do it.
So it's okay.
Dub, how do you do it?
Pretend I'm gay.
I don't know.
I know.
When you do that act, how do you compliment their looks without it?
Like.
No, just commit to it.
Wow.
Love it.
Love this.
Amazing outfit.
Oh, you go close.
You got to go close.
Your titties look.
No.
Outfit.
I comment like a best, you know, like a best bud that's not getting any.
Oh, fuck.
Give us some tips and pointers.
That's what he's trying to learn.
How can he see him behind Wheezy?
How do you compliment her?
Oh.
No.
Like a dude.
Oh, wait, really?
Yeah, but you compliment us.
I'll compliment your outfit.
You don't think she's a dude.
She's a beautiful woman.
Yeah, but she's like my nigga.
You're saying personality-wise, you're repulsed.
What if she says I'm going?
She's got your thing.
You're saying there's only one good answer.
No, she's like my sister.
She's my sister.
I like her.
But she is also not.
Yeah, she says she's going out on a date.
How do I look at her?
But she's also not your sister.
Yeah.
Doug compliments his sisters.
I compliment my sister.
How do you compliment your sisters?
You wouldn't say that they got their meat poking.
What do you say?
When their breasts are sticking together.
I said, no.
No, my sisters, I said, put something on.
Hold on, one second.
You tell us how you compliment your sisters.
Bro, I was about to say dibs, bro.
Come on.
Wow.
What?
Fast that flog.
I need some food, yo.
Fast that vlog.
Son, we need some of them chips in here.
Wow.
So, chips?
Your sister can't.
So hungry.
You police what your sister can wear?
Absolutely.
Yo, my man died.
When they were in high school in college, we gotta wrap this up.
No, hold on.
This is important.
Well, huh?
This is what just happened.
No, I just saw a guy stage dive and almost die.
Yeah, that was crazy.
Okay, listen, back to Selma Hayek.
She walks in the room right now.
Breasts are on presentation like that.
What are you saying, Mark?
Are you just gonna hit her with design?
You got it, bro.
She used to it.
That's Selma Hayek.
She didn't get it for 40 years.
That's true.
That's true.
So you hit her with that immediately.
Yeah, there you go.
What would you do after that?
Son, nothing.
You know me.
I'm sitting here.
You're just going to stop and you're going to be cool.
You're going to be cool.
You're not going to do anything about it.
You're respectful.
You just let it out the same time.
That's one out.
Okay, that's fair, Mark.
I just dap her up.
Like my boy.
I just go for him.
Then get in there a little bit, but that's it.
Get him where?
A little bit?
In her hand.
Like, in her hand.
I'm not a tits guy.
You know what I mean?
What?
I'm not a tits guy.
I'm like, I appreciate her personality.
What does that even mean?
You're not a tits guy.
What does that mean?
I'm just, I'm more into like what she, like, her acting.
Stop, bro.
No, I think she's also a good actress.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's an actress.
Because she'd be acting like she don't have them big.
I see you.
My little Oscar chick over here acting like, you know, got them yap stuff.
That's a role transformation, dude.
Like, those sweater pups.
Oh, God.
Fucking Christian Bale level.
She really do.
Anyway, Al, what do you think?
Well, I just learned from Dub, so I'll compliment her outfit.
What would you say?
Your kits look great in that outfit.
Would you just flat out say that?
No.
I would say that sweater fits you very nicely.
That's creepy as fuck, Doug.
Son, that's creepy as creepy.
That's what Dub said.
I'm right at it.
That's be right back.
But you got to piss out your ass right now.
No.
You got to leave it quick.
You can hear the bat coming.
Oh, the backs are coming.
All right.
Miles gets three bucks.
Well, you haven't told us what you would say.
Go ahead.
If Professor Hayek sauntered into this room, I was saying.
Listen.
All right.
Honestly.
Wrap this up, yo.
Yeah.
You don't want me to say what I would say?
No, I need to know here.
Should we stand for Patreon?
Oh.
Can you stay right now?
I have a line.
All right.
You have a boundary, actually.
How about it?
Oh, thank you, sir.
Anyway, listen, Patreon.
What do you want, Pedro?
You know what I hypothetically say to him from 56-year-old history walked in here?
Nah, he's probably gonna meet Salma at some point.
This guy meets everybody.
That's a good point.
I do have to meet her.
At the white party, bro.
You're gonna make her even whiter.
You know what I'm saying?
That's facts, bro.
That's facts.
I wouldn't do that, though.
That's disgusting what you're saying.
What?
Give her your jacket?
Oh, I see what you did there.
You're covered.
And by jacket, I mean jack your dick off of your dick.