Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Izzy's knockout of Alex Pereira, comparing the strike to anime visuals before pivoting to Donald Trump's potential strategy with Black women. The conversation controversially shifts to the Dalai Lama's tongue-sucking video, sparking a defense of Gandhi against child marriage allegations by contextualizing 19th-century norms. They analyze MrBeast's cast dynamics, the Mario Bros. movie's handling of accents, and Chris Tucker's rule-breaking confidence. Finally, they debate Margot Robbie's foot tattoos, cousin marriage genetics, and the ethics of celebrity objectification, concluding that historical social standards often clash with modern moral judgments. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Early Fight Confidence00:14:37
What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrant.
We're sipping on Spritz this summer's upon New York City.
The mood is high.
Izzy is now the middleweight champion.
Come on, fucking time.
Played the ultimate dragon.
Unfortunately, he is not with us right now, man.
We tried, though.
Big let that.
We tried.
We tried, but you got to let that man celebrate in the way that he wants to celebrate.
It's great to be with you guys.
We haven't had a boys up in a minute.
Let's talk about it.
It's been a while.
Everyone here saw the fight, obviously.
Yeah, fuck, dude.
Yeah.
Stayed up late.
Stayed up late.
Okay.
Thoughts about the fight.
Son, I didn't know Izzy was playing possum, and then I was so fucking worried.
And I feel kind of bad because my wife was like, why are you acting like you're fighting?
And then I was like, because I was.
I hate it when people do that.
Let me be into something.
Then I got insecure.
Why are you acting like you made the purse with Chanel?
You ain't make the purse with Chanel.
You like the purse.
But then I got insecure and I was like, you don't understand.
He could die in there.
And then she got super worried.
And then everything, she was like freaking out because she was like, oh my God, this guy could die.
And then I spent 30% of the fight being like, no, but Izzy's actually too good of a fighter to die in there.
But as long as you can't watch fights with that, he's had a great time watching that.
He said the same thing during Top Cut, though.
He was like, no, Tom Cruise could die in there.
Like, it is scary.
It is intimidating.
Remember when I was watching the last dance and my wife recorded me giving her the rules?
And then I told her I was going to jump out the window.
I had enough.
I said, I had enough.
No, no.
I said, I'm going to go watch it at the studio.
I'm going to leave you right now.
I'm going to the studio to watch.
But you already know what happens to Michael Jordan.
Yeah, dude.
You already know what happens.
That's how important it is.
That's how important it is.
You know what happens at church?
No, no.
Uh-uh.
Sometimes he'll freestyle.
Every Sunday, you know the story.
No, but he'll add some freestyle.
Oh, my God.
He made a Bordeaux this weekend.
It's true.
Last weekend, it was a Merlot.
It's the little things, bro.
It's the spice of life.
Anyway, you could know the ending for something and still be in, you know, enjoy the experiment.
Whatever.
See how excited I was.
You thought you knew that.
You thought you knew I was going to end that sentence.
You didn't realize I was going to have a fucking stroke in the middle of it.
Yo, shout out to the Mario Brothers movie.
We're going to get back to that in a little bit.
But Izzy, victory.
Izzy, Victor.
Did everybody collectively lose their fucking minds when he got that KO?
Yeah.
My dog started shaking.
I was screaming so loud.
He like thought I was.
And then my wife was like, yo, people who didn't watch a fight think you're beating me up right now.
Because I just kept, let's fucking go.
I was going nuts.
That's what you would sound like if you were beating her up.
I mean, just high volume.
Let's go, baby.
Yeah, I got to get into celebration.
Yeah, I got to get into it.
You know what I mean?
We've been waiting on it together.
You don't need to do an end-of-fight promo if you're beating your wife.
You know what I mean?
You're not going to be like, I'm the cream of the crop.
Like, you guys do it.
No, you got it.
Yeah, you got to talk that shit.
Come on.
You got to finish her.
That's abusive if you do it.
You don't celebrate.
Yeah.
Because that means you do it all the time.
But if you do it for the first time, you've got to dance around.
We're competing.
You got to drag her body to the middle of the living room and then sit on top of her and do this shit.
People build.
You're just celebrating your last moments of freedom.
You got to get it off.
You got to have a story for the boys in jail.
You just hooked her off one time and then that's it.
You do a post-fight interview.
Like, honestly, you was looking good in the first round.
She was going for it.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, yeah, you could do that, Mark.
That's where it's too crazy too.
That's where it's too crazy.
It just died.
You guys were visualizing.
You were lost in it.
You guys were lost in it.
Hey, Mark.
Hey, Mark.
Tell us how you feel after that.
She was good, but she was putting up a fight.
That's the first time.
I'll put you out of misery right now.
That's the hardest part of fighting.
No one ever talks about that.
The fight is the easy part.
He's going to keep going.
It's the post-fight interview.
That shit is tricky.
You got to have your words all organized.
Anyway.
Golly, bro.
Did you get beat up by your wife last night?
I'll be honest, man.
It was a tough fight, bro.
I'll be honest.
This is good.
All right.
So in the fight, Izzy said he was playing possum at the end.
Yes.
Part of me is like, I believe you.
Izzy bullshit.
The other part is like, bullshit.
He caught you with the mean leg kick right before.
He landed a couple punches right before.
Now, I will say this.
There was another time where Pada was closing the distance on Izzy.
And then Izzy put his hands up and then started swinging with him and just exchanged.
This was earlier in the fight.
But that's how.
I think he went into it.
He leaned into it.
And he got caught, but still he exchanged.
And I remember at that moment, I was like, oh, shit, hold on.
He's going to trade with him?
Yeah.
Because that's a brave thing.
The guy who has knocked you out once, cold.
Yeah.
Last time you guys fought, KO.
Basically the same way, like up against the fucking gate, like trying to slip punches.
Exactly, right?
So that was the moment right there.
Like the knockout, it was one of the most brave things I've ever seen.
And also like one of the most like cognitively aware things I've ever seen.
Like he gets hit by a few different punches.
He gets knee basically in the fucking cheek, right?
Massive knee.
He gets a left hook, a deadly left hook that hopefully he blocks a little bit with his hand.
And then he does this great thing.
He sees that Pada is loading up the left hook again and he does this quick little pop jab and then that perfect right hand comes over.
He rocks him and he falls in the same way the one he knocked him or we almost dropped him in the first round of the other fight.
But this is the craziest thing.
The second right hand he lands, I've only been able to see the punch at 0.25 speed.
Yeah.
The punch does this magical thing.
And this is where like, I don't know if he's watched so much anime, it's starting to like manifest itself.
And I mean it sincerely.
If you watch it regular speed, you see the punch get thrown and then from about here to when it hits his head, just disappears.
I don't know if it's a glitch in a camera.
I don't know what the fuck it is, but if you watch it regular speed, the punch starts here, disappears, and then ends up on his head.
What are you watching it on?
Watch it, bro.
I had to bring it down to 0.25.
This is Wi-Fi.
It could be my ESPN account.
I got to talk to the mouse about that.
Hold on, we got your stream up here.
See what I'm saying?
Yeah, it's not worth it.
Hold on, hold on.
He just punched him five times.
See?
All right, let me pull it up.
Let me pull it up.
All right.
This is 0.25, though, right?
Or whatever point.
No.
That's just buffering.
Now, the quality of this is so bad, I can't believe you're actually playing it.
Like, it's shocking.
I see what you're saying, though.
It looks like it's here, and then it's just back all the time.
I watch it at 0.25 speed.
That's the only speed where I can actually see that second right hand connect.
It's the fastest punch I've ever seen, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then game fucking over.
And then celebration.
Crazy.
Unfucking believable.
The celebration is like, I mean, he's not even a human being anymore.
He's just an anime character.
Bro, the whole storyline.
I mean, I'm just trying to understand the liberation you feel.
Right?
If you look back to our first interview with him, I asked him, because I didn't even think I knew, but I asked him, I was like, have you ever been KO'd?
He goes, yeah, by some guy, I'm not even going to mention his fucking name.
I remember that.
Okay.
I remember that.
Right?
I went and I think looked it up afterwards.
I was like, who is this motherfucker that's beaten Izzy, right?
And I saw the KO.
And imagine that.
You're on top of the world.
You're, I think at one point he was probably pound for pound number one.
Everybody's going, nobody can beat you at middleweight.
It's absolutely impossible.
You're the fucking king.
But you know, in the back of your head, there's a guy that got the best of you.
Yeah.
You've probably gotten the best of every other person that you fought.
Maybe you lost a shitty decision.
Maybe it was a shitty decision in China where shit is corrupt, but there's a guy who KO'd you and you haven't gotten that get back in.
And then you fight in the UFC and he takes everything you work for.
And now people are starting to question you.
Other fighters are starting to chirp.
And just like last time, you were beating him the whole fucking fight.
Exactly.
You were a minute away or a minute and a half away or however long away from actually getting that, you know, getting that, what is the pervert, what is the term, getting the monkey off your back, right?
Glad you said it.
Yeah.
So, so, and then to go in there and not outpoint him.
That's what I liked about it.
Yeah.
He didn't win a decision.
Yeah.
Out of the judge's hands.
Yeah.
Night, night.
Of all the weight class, all the belt holders in every weight class, he's beaten the most people.
Did you see that stat?
Whereas like he beat not like nine finishes of nine different fighters, whereas every other belt holder in every other weight class is like three finishes of people in the weight class.
Yeah, because like belts be moving around so much.
But it's just dominant.
You have to be dominant over a long period of time, right?
If you're fighting three times a year, you have to fight.
You have to hold that belt for three years to fight nine guys.
That's if Dana White was even saying afterwards, he was like, you know, most guys, they'll fight maybe once or twice in a year once they get the belt.
You know, they're living a good life.
Why do they want to go out there and risk it?
He goes, Izzy's out there three times a year.
Yeah.
Anyway, it was just this amazing, and I can't imagine.
That's why I really wanted to talk to him.
I was like, what does that feel?
What is the liberation of slaying the dragon?
Of knowing you could beat a guy.
He's beating you three times.
He's taken everything.
And then you finally beat him and in convincing fashion.
He can't say a single thing.
He's unconscious knocked out.
What he did to you, you just did to him.
What is that feeling, bro?
Yeah.
And mocking his kid, Brayden From fire.
That thing was amazing.
Unfucking believable.
How does he remember all the tags?
That's what I'm saying.
That's right.
Yeah.
How after a fight, you have the mocking of the kid.
You have like this amazing speech that you give.
It's fucking motivational.
Bone arrow shit.
Bone arrow.
Literally, did he do the bone arrow every time, Pereira?
Every time.
Every time.
So he had that lockdown.
Oh, yeah.
Because he pragged the improv, if you look at the improv from just a purely comedic standpoint.
But it's like perfect.
I wonder if he did three because he got beaten three times.
Yeah, he gets the bow.
He gets the bow and the arrows who would do that.
Yeah, there's a great, there's a guy named Trill Effects or something like that.
He did this amazing, like, he adds animation to the video and puts actual arrows in Izzy's hand and the bow.
And then he snaps the bow.
It's just perfect improv.
Like he doesn't like throw the bow.
It doesn't disappear.
I want to know the moment what he's thinking, the moment he sees the opening for that first dead jab, that left he throws when he sees it, when he sees that connect, and then he connects to right.
I want to know his entire thought process as he's seeing all of it.
It's my imagination.
I'm imagining he sees Padera loading up the left again.
Yes.
Because Padera lands a big left, but he blocks it.
And then he sees him dipping to load it again.
And then it is just lightning fast.
And I think it's one of those things, I think he made a decision.
And I want to fucking talk to him about it, obviously, but like, I think he made a decision, which is if we get in close, I'm not going to hold his hands.
Remember, that's what he was doing before?
Oh, yeah.
We're swinging.
And he did it earlier.
And he got caught, but I was like, oh, shit, he wants to bang with this motherfucker.
He wanted to bang, but he also was keeping his guard up.
Got left.
That's a difference.
Like, usually he'll be like this with it, but he was like, this.
No, we're doing this.
I'm locked in and I'm willing to take one to give one.
And he got caught a few times by Peredira and the chin held up.
And I wonder if you get some confidence going, okay, he's hit me hard.
He kicked him.
Padeta kicked him once in a fucking head and he got caught, but he kept this cool.
But I wonder if that was in camp.
It was like, yo, I'm going out.
If I go out, I'm going out on my shield.
Because you have to understand, when you decide to exchange with somebody in that moment, that's an all-in hand and poker.
Because if you get caught, someone bigger than you, stronger than you.
And keep in mind, he's not imagining it's over.
He's felt it be over.
The bravery of sitting there in that moment and going, this is a 50-50.
Either I'm going to hit him and it's lights out or he's going to hit me and it's lights out again.
And he just decides to do it.
I'm prepared to die.
And I think the main part at that knockout was, I think Izzy did get hurt and that's why he moved back.
But Pareto thought he was like really hurt.
So it's like, I guess Izzy still had all his wherewithal about him.
So that's why that first check jab was just to see the distance.
And then that's why the second one was perfect.
Yeah.
And also getting hit in your leg doesn't daze you.
Yeah, it doesn't daze you.
So he's all there.
He's just a little bit, was it incapacitated?
Yeah.
So he's all he's incapacitated.
So he can think he sees the punches coming.
He knows everything that's happening, but he just can't move.
And then when Padero walked into that trap.
Now, True Jordy, I don't know if y'all saw True Jordy did a great breakdown of the first, the end of the first round of the last fight.
Oh, yeah.
And then this.
So I think Izzy was thinking, I had this motherfucker in the first round.
If that round is three seconds longer, one second longer, I want, I KO this one.
Well, can I tell you one thing?
And Izzy even said this.
Izzy did something different this time.
So last time, he hits him with that overhand right.
And he'd been reaching for that overhand right in the first round, too.
He began getting close, but Pader was keeping distance.
He hits him with that big overhand right, right?
Wobbles him.
What does he do in the first fight?
He fakes a right and then he throws a hook.
Yeah.
This one he said, no.
Double it up.
Double it up.
Give it to the next person.
This one is what hurt you.
And this one again.
And I remember when he was on the pod, he was like, I don't know why.
I went for an uppercut and then a hook.
I like faked an uppercut and went for a hook.
He was, I should have just thrown the straight right or the looping right over.
And he fucking did it this time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What a fucking.
And I love that he didn't really take cheap shots afterwards.
Like he finished them and then he went for the pound and then he was out and he was like, all right, that's all I need to do.
He got, he got one.
He got one, but he pulled back on the second one.
He was like, that's all I need.
And he said, I put everything into it.
He was like, he said, that was from the gods.
That ain't reflected from the gods.
No, that was crazy.
Yeah, amazing.
But I didn't even see it as like violence.
I saw it as like letting everything out here.
I'm fucking winning.
I'm not, his guy's not getting saved by the bell.
And every piece of like negative emotion I felt is going into this.
I didn't think it was any like malice or wanting to hurt him.
I think it was just, I have to win it all.
I don't even know what Izzy does now.
Like, I don't care to see him fight.
That is like that Muhammad Ali fucking George Fraser.
George Foreman.
George Foreman fight.
Like that is the one.
Yeah.
Dude, it's like you beat it.
You beat the guy.
You beat everybody else.
We could watch you fight everybody else again.
Yeah.
Right.
But I don't know if you're even interested in that.
I think he was even mentioning that.
It's like, I don't want to fight the same guy three fucking times.
It's like, you've done it.
Where is the exciting thing?
There is one guy who's doing some really fun trolling.
There's a white South African fighter.
Is this Pluset or whatever?
Yeah, Drake is Duplessis.
Duplessis, yeah.
But he's saying, he goes, we don't have an African champ.
Heavyweight Championship Drive00:05:03
And it's the funniest thing.
A white guy who's going, I'm Africa.
I train in Africa.
I know what it's like to be African.
You're in New Zealand.
Comoro, you're in America.
Like, I'm the only African that's going to bring the bell to Africa.
But dude, the fact that a white guy is telling you is-believable.
I would love to see that guy get knocked out.
I'll pay for that.
You have to.
So maybe there's that fight eventually in Africa.
You saw what they said about the oxygen thing?
That he was basically saying, like, when I came into the promotion, I had like a broken thing in my nose.
Yeah.
Like, my septum was all fucked up.
So I could only get 8% oxygen.
So my gas tank was nothing.
Who said this?
Your boy.
What's his name?
Du Plessé, whatever.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he was like, yeah, when I came in.
My boy.
Yeah.
That was wild.
Well, you know, the white.
That was that get back.
The white.
I was like, the white.
Damn.
Damn.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
The whiteboard.
The boy, you let it happen.
You almost let it happen.
He's the most racist.
He's more racist than me.
I'm saying he's African, bro.
I thought he knew something I did.
I was like, oh, word?
That's your boy?
A word?
Okay, go on.
He was saying when he came in, he could only get 8% oxygen through his nose.
And then he just had nose surgery.
So now he's like, but my gas tank is good.
Dove, what's it like to get 150% oxygen through your gut?
The world is my oyster.
Okay, so now he's nice because he's able to do it.
That's what his trainer was saying.
He's like, now his gas tank is amazing.
This is every young Jewish girl's excuse to get a nose job.
I haven't deviated Snaptop.
I can't agree.
So oxygen gets stuck in the hook.
And then, you know, it gets trapped in the little cavity on there.
All right, so let's see what happens with him.
I think he's got a few more fights into it, but it's a perfect troll.
I mean, you want to see the white African guy that claims the black guy is not African enough go at it in Africa.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's.
Yeah, it's great.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The whole content comes out for that.
Yeah.
Love that storyline.
Also, a fun thing for Izzy.
Like, I'm sure there's also, there's always a part of someone who like leaves their homeland that they don't feel like they're truly 100% that.
Like, I wonder if like you've like, oh, I know you're Indian.
Yeah, but Indians look at me like I'm the most American.
I don't know shit.
So you have this thing.
But what if you could go to India and fuck up some white boy that said he was more Indian?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Be the best.
That's anime.
Yeah, literally.
Izzy, fuck that.
Go to Hollywood, get your buddy, bro.
Now, I asked.
That's it.
So there's the other thing that he could do, right?
It's like, now you're champ.
You've just slayed the dragon.
There's not a single person on this planet that they can say that you can't fuck up or haven't fucked up, right?
And they're probably going to start mentioning the John Jones shit.
But Izzy can even be like, John is afraid of me, and that's why he ran up to heavy.
It's already popping up on my TikTok feed is they're trying to, the people are trying to get it.
You want the wild one?
Let me give you the wild one.
Yeah.
Alex Pedera goes up to light heavyweight 205 wins the belt.
Izzy comes up to light heavyweight, fights him again.
Double champ.
Beats him double champ.
Who's the heavyweight champ?
John Jones.
John Jones.
Izzy goes up to heavyweight.
Triple.
Fights John Jones.
Becomes the triple champ.
Nobody's ever done it in MMA.
Retires.
I hope he doesn't do it.
No, no, no.
Of course, we want to go to Hollywood and just make oodles and oodles and money.
The damage that gets done by a heavyweight is just probably way different than of course.
But the anime, can we talk about anime for a second?
The anime.
Yes.
Yes.
Like we were saying, have an anime series based on you, Izzy.
Make a lot of money.
Go to Hollywood.
Do that.
It's very clear.
No, another New Zealander, Tyco Waititi, who did Love and Thunder and all that, is also boys with Izzy anime.
There's your movie.
I think he gets the triple belt and then fights Pedera's kid.
Fire!
The kid comes up and tries to avenge his father's death.
Fire!
Now we're talking about it.
And if Izzy's really into anime, you gotta let him win.
Yeah.
He gotta let him win.
He's getting that get back.
That's the revenge.
He's 17 by that point.
You know what I mean?
He might have some power.
Yo.
Then it's a fight.
Nah, Izzy needs to have a kid, so then he'll be like, Creed.
And then Izzy's kid comes back.
There you go.
Come on, bro.
We're great at writing a story.
Yo, look at us.
Come on.
Light work.
When UFC merges with WWE, they got to call us up and start writing some storylines.
Bro, what a great idea for UFC to buy the WWE.
Not only for the synergy with the fighters, you can have the fighters interacting in each other's worlds, which is a great promotional tool.
Like go have your heels be heels in the WWE.
You have access to all those story writers who are great writers.
They know how to write these storylines, right?
So you can basically pluck them and say, hey, listen, how do we build this one fight between these two guys that nobody really cares about, et cetera?
But also, you have like a retirement job for a lot of fighters.
So the popular fighters that you know have been like honest and done good job for the company, but they don't really have a way of making money after that.
Let Nate Diaz go be in WWE.
Isn't it still crazy hard in your body wrestling, though?
Not as hard as real fighting.
Black Women vs Trump00:15:05
Fair, fair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's crazy you even thought it was.
Like wrestlers have convinced us, they're like, it's real.
And it's like, no, It's real compared to like being an accountant.
Yeah, no.
The one small pushback I'll give you, I'm mostly wrong.
5%, their schedule is so much crazier.
You're wrestling three times a week or whatever.
That's funny.
Five times a week.
So, if you're one of these famous guys, maybe you're popping in and popping out.
Yeah, but yeah, thumb tax.
You don't want to deal with thumb tax.
What is the thumb tax?
The hell in the cell shit?
You don't want to see Nate Diaz get a chair to the head?
I'm too famous for this.
They work with Brock Lesnar.
They had Ronda Rousey crossed over.
There's a funnel.
I mean, Mayweather was up in that.
Like, I mean, it was a fun thing.
The bad bunny comes in and then Logan can be.
He's not going to every event, big stadium things.
It's fun.
What'd you think of the antics around the fight?
Like, Trump pulling up.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Trump is winning.
Yeah.
Trump's winning.
Trump is winning.
I'm on board.
He won me over.
He won me over when he won money off of Kid Rock.
I think he bet on Izzy.
Oh, did he really?
I think there's an interaction between the two of them after Izzy KOs him, and it looks like there's like a pocket, a handoff.
Stimulus.
If he did, if he got that Kid Rock stimulus, dude, if he put money on Izzy, 100%.
Apparently, the people I knew that were at the fight, they're like when they showed Trump on the screen.
They went nuts.
I heard the same thing.
Like, it was the second loudest sound of the night behind the knockout.
We'll just talk about this in Brilliant Idiots on Brilliant Idiots.
He's like, this is in Florida.
This is DeSantis' state.
Yeah.
His literal state.
Yeah.
And Trump is going to wash him in Florida.
He's going to wash him everywhere.
The guy's too.
It's the primary night are going to be close.
You know what else I realized is helpful?
The fact that for the last two years, we've had a president that is maybe alive, maybe not alive.
We're not exactly sure where he is.
If somebody came out now and they were like, all right, Biden's been dead and we just didn't want to tell people, right?
We'd be like, okay, we're not shocked.
Right.
So we know the country can run without a president.
Biden just said recently, I was saying this on Brilliant Idiots, that like he's like, I would love to do something about gun control.
I just have no power to do it.
So he's basically saying the position is powerless and it can run without somebody who's coherent as president.
So now that Americans kind of know it's just like a fun position, put the fun guy.
Here's if it was a smart position, like if it was like head of MIT's research lab for cancer, we don't want Trump guy, right?
But if it's like dean of MIT, get kid rocking there.
You don't want a fun guy because a fun guy doesn't know that it's just for fun and he's trying to do shit.
Yeah, but he can't.
So it's like a baby.
You're like, okay, here, the plane is.
Give him fake nuclear codes.
69, 69, 60.
There it is.
He'll believe it.
Crazy.
And he won't use them.
And he'll tell all the other leaders, like, yo, I got the new code.
Yeah, triple 69.
It's crazy how horny they are in a navy.
It's a big thing.
That's what it is, bro.
For real.
He pokes out a little bit.
That's it.
So I think.
I think he's going to win.
I think it's easy.
They got to lock him up.
If they don't, then he wins.
And the fact that they're trying to lock him up over some absolute bullshit compared to what other politicians do.
Yeah.
It is illegal, but it's not even close to as illegal as like what Pelosi and her fucking husband do at the stock market or what Hunter and Joe Biden have done with the Ukraine.
At the very least, unethical.
It is way less bad than the steel dossier shit.
Yeah.
Did we talk about that?
Like the Clintons, the DNC paying for the steel dossier, right?
So it's like, when you look at what they're doing, I understand why everybody who's in the middle, right?
Like all the people who are like, I don't even like this motherfucker, but I hate these virtue signaling people that are just complete hypocrites.
So because I despise them so much, I'm a ride for this dude.
Well, you know what else I think Trump is doing?
Additionally, is he's not saying anything about shit going on here outside of like the politicians.
He's not speaking on race issues.
He's not speaking on these things that always make people be like, God damn it, dude.
Now I can't fucking back it.
If he continues doing that.
If he continues doing that, it's a fucking landslide.
So I have the way that he wins guaranteed.
I just don't know how he does it.
But I have the way that the winning strategy.
You feel you have it.
100%.
What is it?
He needs black women on his side.
I don't know how he does it.
I don't know what he can do to do it.
But if he can get black women to be like, nah, we fuck with Trump.
A subsidized Beyoncé tour?
I don't, it's like they don't even buy Beyoncé's clothing anymore.
Like, I think Beyonce might be over.
I hate to say it, but it's like Adidas let Beyonce take her clothing back.
They were like, let's just go on a separate class.
They didn't even let Kanye do that.
They're like, we still need to figure this out.
But with Beyonce, they say, keep your shit.
Ice Spice running mate.
That would work?
No.
Nah.
No, we actually need to be serious about this.
What can he do to win over black women?
Anybody running who has black women wins.
He didn't have black women the first time, I gave 2016?
No, 2016.
2016.
Remember when he won?
Oh, yeah.
We forgot about it.
Because it's silk and diamonds.
You know, I just think if he can win over, it doesn't have to be all black women, but if he can do something to win over black women, it is a wrap.
It is done.
Because then he's completely free.
White women can't complain about him.
White women can't say he's an asshole, can't say he's a racist, can't say he's hateful.
Because black women would be like, shut the fuck up.
You're all those things.
So black women can say to white women, you're all those things.
Shut the fuck up.
If Trump wins over half of the black female vote, you don't even need all of them.
Oh, yeah.
Half.
Also, once black women fuck with Trump, every black dude is like, oh, we free to fuck with him?
Yeah.
He's going to get to the gays.
The gays will pick it up.
Oh, he came out to Macho Man.
He's gay.
He wears makeup, cares about his fucking shit.
Now, Trump don't bash the gays.
I think that's the group he needs.
He needs the black gays.
Whoa.
Because black women follow everything that the black gays do.
My God.
That's what I'm saying.
But then how does he, he's going to lose the evangelical Christians?
What if, but half of them are gay already?
He needs, he needs to, yeah, he needs.
Yeah, but they don't want to come out.
They're afraid to come out.
Mark, how do you?
But you vote in private.
Saucy Santee.
But we need it publicly.
We need the public admission of support.
How do we get that?
I've literally been thinking about this since we did Brilliant Idiots.
I'm like, what would be the thing that they could do?
What would be the thing the Trump campaign could do to convince black women that he has their best interests at heart?
What do black women care about more than anything?
I think they're children.
Yeah.
I think it's family.
Respect.
He doesn't check that box either.
Yeah, he's not the most respectful.
But how could he convince them that he wanted the best for their children?
That's rough, bro.
Yo, what if he came out?
Yeah, yeah, he's gonna have to lie.
Yeah.
What if Trump came out and he was like, reparations?
Yo, what if what if that was only black men want that shit, bro?
I'll be honest with you.
I haven't heard a lot of black women talking about reparations.
Man, if it's helping everybody black, it will be.
I'm not saying they're against it.
That would cost him the white vote, for sure.
What, reparations?
Reparations, yeah.
Then he loses.
Landslide.
That ain't gonna be it.
Yeah.
But what could he do to get black women?
What, Akash?
Bruh, this is a fucking uphill battle, dog.
They hated him for eight years.
Yeah.
We're just starting to find him funny again.
And the second he starts speaking on issues, people are going to be like, God damn it, dude.
Yeah.
He just got to stay away from all of them.
Who do they hate besides him?
What do black women hate?
White women.
Torrey Lanes.
Tori Lanez.
Is it like white men?
Is it like pompous, rich white men?
I don't.
No, not really.
I don't think so.
Not really.
They just, they don't exist in their world.
Like, they don't pay attention to them.
Yeah, I would, that makes sense.
I think black dudes don't like white dudes and white women don't like white dudes.
That's about it.
I mean, I don't mean to bring this podcast to a screeching halt, but I do think it's an important issue.
You're handing us a Rubik's Cube.
It's a tricky thing, right?
But if he could even do it, because it really frees up black dudes, because it seems like every black dude I meet absolutely loves Trump, but they're terrified to admit it.
Stop it.
I'll be honest.
You're speaking on behalf of the two black dudes, you know?
I know more black dudes than you.
Stop it.
This is not.
Come on.
You might be right, but it doesn't help you.
I can't get it to you, bro.
Bro, you don't even, your business partner ain't even black.
It's a fake black Jewish girl.
Really?
It is.
That's not how Trump will win over the world.
That's not.
You got a dividing conqueror.
You got a dividing conqueror.
Her name is Gila.
I love you, Weezy.
Don't do that.
I love you, Weezy.
But tell them that you're not actually black.
Tell them you're from Morocco.
Just speak the truth.
You're a Moroccan Jew.
100%.
How would it take for her to like Trump?
I don't like Trump.
This is really good.
Real black women would have to like Trump.
Sorry, we don't like it.
Weezy, I did it.
Right now, Martha.
Yeah, we just got to think.
Who is the culture curator for black women?
Who are the influencers for black women?
Beyond that.
I do think Beyonce.
But Beyonce don't talk.
Beyonce doesn't have opinions.
She's not like a political.
Brianna will talk that shit.
And I feel like you could get Rihanna.
I think you could get Rihanna.
You could get Rihanna.
Yo, yo, yo, who did Trump get out of motherfucking Swedish?
Oh, shit.
Yep.
Wait a minute.
If he can get the gun charge in LA dropped.
If he can get that shit dropped, now we talk.
Now we talk.
And he comes out and Fenty.
If he wears the Fenty beauty.
And she's a billionaire.
He's going to give her the tax breaks.
Oh, my God.
We might be on this.
My God.
Hold on.
This hat tight as fuck.
Shout out Walu Easy, but this hat is tight as fuck.
Listen, if we get Rihanna, which is very gettable, she has two children.
She cares more than anything about those children.
He has to make sure that they come up in a world that is safe and supportive.
She only has one, but keep going.
She has another one coming.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's not born yet.
When he's president, I will be able to.
I don't count that technology.
Yeah.
Oh, we know that.
We know that.
There you go.
You look at Rihanna like they're still talking about.
Shit.
I'll say that during the first one.
Yo, I think he got to go after Rocky, bro.
Yeah.
I think he got to go after Rocky.
I think he got to clear that fucking charge.
He's got to get Rihanna on board.
Wow.
I mean, who else?
We have Rihanna.
Who else?
Black female influence.
Lauren London.
I don't know if she has cultural strongholds over black women.
Really?
Yeah.
Half Jewish, too, by the way.
Is she really?
There you go.
There you go.
They be infiltrating me.
Jews be getting in there.
Maybe make a Nipsey Hustle Day or something like that.
Oh, my God.
That'd be fine.
During the New York City Marathon Day?
Just line those up.
The marathon continues.
Wow.
There it is.
There it is.
That's good.
It's over.
Wow.
It's a wrap.
He got it.
So we're giving him too many ideas.
All I'm saying is, I think it's very possible for Trump.
And for whatever reason, I feel like the culture has shifted a bit.
Maybe because, like you said, he hasn't really spoken on many issues.
As long as he's not speaking on issues, he can't be divisive.
And if he's talking shit about politicians, we love it.
He's at least they're all pieces of shit.
And sorry, we look weak as fuck right now internationally.
And Trump being there, countries aren't going to talk the same shit because Trump will fire off.
Oh, no, he's a wild boy.
Lose candy.
Yeah.
I also do think that like us not looking good internationally is foreign propaganda.
I think that, you know, China, I think that maybe Saudi, maybe Russia are doing everything in their power to, you know, put the gas on these stories that come out about like, here's this union between these different countries.
Like the world doesn't really want to use China as a reserve currency.
Like they can't trust China.
It's like they have Grand Wizard.
He might be one of the ops, bro.
Oh, shit.
He be pushing that propaganda.
You be pushing that propaganda.
You're going to break my motherfucking heart, man.
This whole time, every single podcast I go on, I've been promoting the greatest Instagram page of all time.
Grand Wizard chat word I can't say.
And in reality, you've been working for the motherfucking Chinese this whole goddamn time.
Saying A.
So, bro.
I'm just tripping on Granny.
That's the best nickname to say that.
That's the best way to say that.
That's Grandi.
Fire.
You don't even sound remotely offensive.
Not at all.
Grandma's Granny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't even say that.
That's where we get all our geopolitics news from.
So funny when someone hits the group tags, but damn, you heard it's World War III.
And I've just been scrolling Instagram and I know exactly where you got your bullshit on.
Yeah.
Why would they do that?
To what end?
Because I think division here is really good.
Yeah.
I think division here is really good.
And I actually think Trump will be the most divisive candidate.
And they actually want that.
Because as long as we're fighting amongst ourselves, then the powers that be within this country can't focus on global control.
So they want us fighting amongst ourselves as much as we possibly can.
That's like that Pentagon leak.
The Russian media was picking it up and they were blasting it everywhere.
They're like, look at this leak.
America is so embarrassing.
And look at our numbers.
We're killing it.
Blah, blah, blah.
Like they were promoting that shit on their channels.
And I find it hard to believe that that's the only thing that leaks from the Pentagon.
There might be plenty of things that leaked, but they select the ones that are going to get the views.
And when you look at podcasts, you look at news sources, what's trendy right now.
What's trendy right now is the de-dolerification of the world.
What's trendy right now is U.S. no longer the global superpower.
What's trendy right now is China's coming up.
And we've fallen for that too.
So we're promoting the things, the propaganda, if you will, that is beneficial to the rest of the world.
So some of it might be truthful, but to really de-dollarify the world is like an unbelievably difficult task.
Here's my one pushback that's probably not great, but Trump seems like the firmest hand internationally.
I remember Sagar saying one thing he liked that Trump did is he was very firm with China.
Whereas most politicians, most U.S. leaders have been like, yeah, let China do their thing.
It's fine.
We want to be friends with them.
And China was and Trump was like, fuck that.
Trump seems like he's the most stern internationally.
Like international policy, y'all are not going to fuck with us.
We're daddy.
So division here could be worth that, but is it for sure?
Because you're taking the chance on, again, like a wild card.
Maybe, maybe they don't want Trump.
Maybe they want Trump arrested.
And maybe it's worth arresting Trump for some bullshit just to get him out of here.
And maybe they're the ones telling the Democrats to put him behind bars.
Maybe.
That's what's tricky about the TikTok shit.
It's like, how much of this stuff is propping up on TikTok and gassed up like crazy?
I got a theory about this actually with the Dalai Lama.
Okay.
So you guys saw the Dalai Lama thing where like he tells the kid to suck his tongue?
Been jerking off to it all week now.
Can I say this?
Wow.
I'm going to do this.
Mr Beast Transitioning00:15:33
This guy's crazy.
So can I say one thing about that real quick?
Yeah.
That like, and you're never going to see me on a podcast actually saying this, but China might be right about Tibet.
Clip it.
China might be right about Tibet.
I've been hearing this Tibetan people for the longest saying free Tibet, free Tibet from China's occupation or free Tibet, whatever.
It's like, if that's what your leader is doing with kids, bro, China might be right about Tibet, bro.
China might be right, right?
Should we at least hear China out?
Maybe.
If the leader, the number one dude, is saying, suck my tongue to kids.
He is the god of compassion.
Spelled C-U-M-P-A-X-S-I-O.
I'm just saying we got to hear China out.
If I'm Xi Jinping, I'm putting this video on TikTok and I'm going to see.
See what I'm talking about?
This is what y'all want for you.
That's what you said.
You want this free?
Because the weird shit is that this happened in February.
Like, it's only popping up now.
And so I'm like, oh, yeah, China saw it.
It's fucking popping up on TikTok.
They're propagating it everywhere.
That's where I first saw it go viral, was on TikTok.
I'd be okay if they invaded Tibet.
But with that being said, I'd be okay.
Someone needs to invade Tibet.
Someone need to get him out of here.
I think this is, he's just trying to one-up Biden.
He's taking Biden's rulebook and he's trying to be a great world leader.
And he's like, what does Biden do?
He sniffs little kids.
So now he's going full tongue sucker.
He goes, yo, suck my tongue.
I mean, yeah, that's that's yeah, we got to get Biden out of here too, bro.
Like, I'll be honest: if Biden kept up the sniffing, because I think he's had, they have the snipping at bay, but like, if he kept up the sniffing, yeah, where's he gonna sniff it?
This is what happens to all religious leaders that have to do away with all their urges.
Yeah, Buddhism don't work.
Take that, Buddhists.
It don't work.
That's what happened.
Your best, best.
Maybe this Catholic problem happens.
Maybe they're like, yo, just God's saying this.
What we're doing is all right.
I'm being the priest being like, yo, get this out there.
Listen, and listen.
Priests don't do tongue shit.
God rest the dead.
Priests don't give tongue.
Like, that's so gay.
That is way gay.
I will say, at least he's giving.
At least he's offering something.
Priests are just taking fucking monsters.
But I will say this.
It is odd.
And, you know, God rest the dead and obviously R.I.P. the great, the great one, Gandhi.
But there was that little kid shit going on with him, right?
Everybody, he gave bad pushback when you hit him with this.
I do be giving pushbacks.
Because I hate it because they act like it should take away from his greatness that he used kids for fuel to do those things.
Yeah, that's fair.
Like he wasn't eating for so long because he was sucking kids off, right?
Like, he could go and hunger shit.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Let me just say, I'm going to just say it.
I don't care.
I'm going to defend Gandhi.
I got you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You let him babysit?
You let him babysit?
Yeah.
You're going to let Gandhi babysit.
Come on, bro.
Gandhi's been reincarnated in this society.
He understands.
Maybe he reincarnated into Donald Function.
We are all one.
Gandhi got married at 13.
His wife was 11.
13-year-olds then were not what 13-year-olds are now.
Talk that shit.
Okay.
I'm going to just say that.
Fucking Blackbird.
Talk that shit.
I hate that.
I told you about this shit.
Talk that shit, Larry Hall.
13 now.
I'm not saying 1990s, 30.
I'm saying 1890s, 13.
Right.
13 back in the day was old, right?
Son, that's when women started having kids.
I mean, according to Jews, it was they were adults back then.
Back then, you were adult.
Bob Mitzvah, adult.
That's what it was.
They didn't have this extended childhood.
You were an adult.
Gandhi's married out the house.
That's not what he was doing.
He was an adult during adult times, and then he was sleeping with kids in the middle.
You know how 30 is the new 40?
13 is the old 18.
13 is the old 18.
But what about when he was old and the kids were sleeping in a room with him to test his resolve?
Did he do anything?
Only day no.
There you go.
He passed the test.
He did nothing.
He passed, bro.
Yeah.
This is to catch a Michael Jackson.
Forget the butts, right?
Sleeping with 18-year-olds and not getting away with it.
But here's the thing.
Did he also addiction?
He's actually like sleeping with 20-year-olds because it's two years older.
If I got like a chocolate addiction, right?
And I'm trying to get over it.
Maybe I would sleep with some chocolate, right?
Because that chocolate would be right there calling my name, right?
And I got to know that I got to break this chocolate.
He's trying to win over Blackboard.
Yeah, this is Jason Trump trying to get to Blackboard.
I love Trump.
I think by having the kids in the room, he's admitting to attraction.
That's the tricky thing.
Oh, no.
I think people back then were attracted to 13-year-olds.
Because you were getting married at 11.
So a 13-year-old then is like a 20-year-old now, 21-year-old.
So you're saying they just carry that attraction until they're older.
That doesn't stop.
Yeah, they just looked at them as women in a way that we don't.
Society, this is healthier and better, I'm sure.
And you have an, but also back then, you didn't have a childhood where you're like playing with dolls.
At like 13, you're a man.
Get the fuck out of the house.
Inflation.
Inflation happens.
Inflation.
Inflation.
No, no, no.
That is an interesting thing that you're saying right there.
It's a crazy thing to say, but I got to stand on it because it's Gandhi.
No, it sounds like I'm about to make fun of you.
I'm not going to make fun of you.
I actually think that's a really interesting argument, which is like, but do you think that that 13 is the best for him?
That's they just looked at it as okay, you have as soon as you're ready to have kids, you're a woman.
Why wasn't it 18?
Like, why didn't you have like an 18-year-old fine bitch in there?
Son, 18-year-old, she, you might be dying 18 back then.
18-year-old back then, you like, I kind of get it.
I get it.
No, I'm seeing what you're saying.
I get it.
I don't get it, but I get it.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, that last argument I got.
I guess aging dog years.
Yeah, exactly.
So, yeah.
13.
She's like 30.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13 going on 30.
That's what that movie's about.
That's exactly what it's about.
You guys have seen it.
It's Gandhi vital pick.
It's him picking up chicks.
Bro, that's a great argument for what Gandhi.
He didn't know no better.
Son, that was socially.
He got fired back then.
13 was an old bitch.
Son, he was a leading.
Yeah.
When did she start having kids?
I think 13.
She had their first kid.
If I'm not mistaken, it was 13 and 15 and maybe 17.
I could just be making that up.
But for sure, she had a kid by 13.
So he was smashing an 11-year-old.
That's a fact as a 13-year-old.
That's an important part.
He was 13.
He was 13.
She was a lie.
You keep saying he was an adult, adult.
Then later on, when he was an adult, what they say is allegedly too.
Allegedly, allegedly.
He would sleep with 13-year-old girls in bed with him naked and not do anything to test his absence.
No, You got to understand.
Those chicks were like built.
No, don't do that.
Black people, Michael Jackson, same shit.
Don't do that.
Yeah.
But also, y'all believe Michael.
You don't believe Mike?
No.
You crack ass.
He's that good.
He didn't touch them, kids.
Michael don't need to touch no fucking stuff.
He touched them kids.
No, those kids got to sleep with Mike.
Yeah.
It ain't the other way around.
You know what I mean?
He's still touching?
No, he didn't touch those kids.
He looked at him.
He didn't touch them.
No, no, no.
He looked at him.
You can't compare Gandhi to Michael Jackson.
Yeah.
Gandhi didn't make any music.
Yeah, Michael Jackson's way better.
He's more talented, but he's not better.
Michael Jackson is infinitely more talented.
Globally.
Yeah, sure, globally.
Yeah.
He didn't impact much societally except those dudes' buttholes.
They weren't full dudes.
That's true.
People cry for Michael Jackson than for Gandhi.
That's false.
I don't know anybody who cries for Gandhi.
No disrespect, obviously.
That's false.
He died in 1946.
Did people cry?
A billion people.
That's what's up.
Oh, shit.
That's what's up.
I'm going to go to Taro.
Billy.
You go on to Taro.
He had kids at 16 and 17.
Well, he had his first kids at 16 and 17.
He was 16 and 17.
She's two years older.
She was 17.
No.
Gandhi's 16 and his wife, age 17.
Had their first kids.
Oh, she was older.
Now they didn't wait six years to have kids.
They did not.
But is his wife older than him?
No, she was 13.
She was 11.
He was 13.
I'm fairly certain.
God damn.
Imagine you got that wrong, bro.
That's right.
I'm just trying to put a fucking kid on here.
Disconnect Dubb's internet right now.
That's racist, bro.
You think he controls the internet?
That's fucked up.
You really think that Michael Jackson was touching them kids, bro?
You think that's why he always had the band-aids on his fingers?
You think he was, you think he was blistered up from it or what?
Nah, they was just biting.
Yo, they bite back.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Kids bite back.
Kids bite back.
Yeah, that's a good ass point.
Those bruises.
Those bruises.
Yeah, come on.
Wow.
Dude, now it all makes sense.
But I still don't believe he did nothing.
I never heard the spotted dick then.
You didn't hear the spotted dick?
He's young, bro.
He doesn't know nothing about it.
I saw it.
I saw it.
I don't remember it, though.
It wouldn't be a bit.
Yeah, he would.
You wouldn't have made a cut.
Yeah, I didn't like Michael like that back in the day.
Yo, talk about it.
He would have liked you.
Making a cut.
Can we talk about Chris from Mr. Beast, bro?
Because Mr. Beast, one of his boys, transitioning, bro.
Mr. Beast trying to get that Bud Light sponsor chip.
Why are we clapping?
Which boy, though?
Was it the elf looking nigga or which one?
No, the infant.
Put in now, now, wait for it.
That's my dude.
He went first with Carl.
It wasn't Thotic, no.
He went for, no, not Carl.
He went with Elf.
Safe shit.
Yeah.
Who is Elf?
Nolan.
Oh, he went with Nolan.
Yeah, because he's pretty.
You thought that he was close?
Yeah.
But is that a safe way of you saying you were most attracted to him?
Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely.
He's the most attractive.
Not too human, though.
Come on.
No, Tarek's got a body.
Tarek is objective.
Yo, if you put Tarek in a fucking, what is that shit called?
That free women in Saudi wear?
A job.
If you put Tarek in a hijab, bro.
He'd be cute.
He'd be cute, bro.
Yeah.
Todd is cute.
He got a body.
He got a ramen on body.
His eyes?
Who?
The elf one.
That's Nolan, bro.
Oh, shit.
You just love white bitches, bro.
That's really what I am.
He ain't wrong.
Okay, so you're saying of all the people on Mr. Beast's channel, of all the talent on his channel, you thought that it would be Nolan that would transition first.
Yes, he has the most feminine features.
Okay.
And is he the person that you would most like to fill up his throat with dicks?
Ass, probably.
Let's start there.
Really?
Yeah.
You want to fill up your ass?
That is crazy, bro.
That is kind of weird.
I try to go gay with y'all niggas in this.
He's just going to bust.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now you are.
He's the cutest.
I'm on Tariq.
Close enough.
Yeah, yeah.
Tarek.
I'm upset.
Or Jimmy.
Or Mr. Beast.
He's a star fucker.
I'm just saying, bro.
He's got all the technology, bro.
He got all the technology.
He already planned to try to get some streams, bro.
Go to Mr. Beast.
I'm just saying, he might be the hottest.
He's got all the technology.
He's got all the connections.
You think that Jimmy's better looking than Tarek.
With the technology, yes.
You're out of your mind.
With the technology.
You're out of your fucking mind.
Objectively, you think Jimmy.
Yes.
He's really trying to.
He's really trying to go to Bay Team.
Dick Rider.
Dick.
You're going to have a dick when I'm riding it.
There will be no dick there.
I'm flip riding.
You don't know.
Sometimes they like to keep it like a Finn.
I think.
I think.
If he did it as a challenge video, I think he's got it.
Bro, should they?
I'm not going to lie.
We saw the dude talking about Tark.
I'm going to talk about fucking Nolan, bro.
I don't know what that's going to be.
I'm getting a little nervous.
So who you like?
Dude, Nolan is beautiful.
He's a pretty little bitch.
Yes.
The easiest one that can transition.
I put Nolan in a sundress, balk him down to half.
Come on.
Dude, it's over, bro.
We collecting.
$1,500 a night.
Easy with that.
Now, Thotak is a little bit more exotic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a little bit more exotic.
And I feel like, look at that.
That's bad pictures.
Yo, you a hater, bro.
You a hater for real, bro.
You like this one?
You like when he brings you cash?
Nah, get him in a nurse outfit because that's what he's transitioning to.
Wait, which one?
Which one?
Down?
No, down to the left.
Down to the left.
Damn, how you fuck that out?
Come on, son.
I got that.
Right there.
Go that.
Come on.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Come on.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that's general hospital.
Oh, that's genital hospital right there, bro.
Let's go.
Wow.
Find Thoughtic, yo.
Now, my question is: is Mr. Beast going to sponsor the final surgery if Chris elects to do it?
I think they should do it as a video.
They should do last person take their hand off the dick, wins it.
And they all put their hands on the dick, and then the last one gets to keep it.
I think that'd be cool camaraderie if he chooses to do post-op surgery.
I think that's fire.
What do you think about that?
What is your perspective on that?
I guess they keep the dick.
That's what I'm doing.
We got it.
We got it.
What do you think?
Barbers are Orlando too long.
Every time he goes back, what do you think about that challenge?
What do you think about that challenge video?
I think Nolan would win.
That's what I think.
You think Nolan would win?
I think Nolan is your real estate.
He looks like he would hold the dick the longest.
Nolan does.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow, we really putting gay on Nolan a lot right now.
I didn't get those vibes at all.
It's just he's so soft.
Yeah, it's elf.
That's a great point.
Come on.
If we're thinking about mythical beasts, the Elven people and the fairies definitely are closely related.
Y'all are forgetting Carl, though.
Nah.
No.
You can't forget.
Damn.
Damn.
I'm kidding, Carl.
You cutie.
You're cute.
But that's the best cop of it.
He's adorable.
Like, you're the least trans of the group.
Yo, look how cute Carl is.
Go back to that one right there and zoom in on Carl.
Look how adorable Carl is.
That's what I'm saying.
He's a little cutie patoots.
But can you pull up the dude that's actually transitioning?
Because you had a picture of him.
Yo, yo, but that's no fun.
That's no fun.
I've seen them before it happened.
Oh, before and after.
It's working, bro.
Yo, these medications.
Yo, can we give these meds to girls that are kind of ugly?
Yeah.
I know, I mean it sincerely.
Before we address this picture, hold on one second.
Hold up.
Now, we saw that, right?
Can we get, there are medications, right, that we can give to men, biological men, and they become prettier versions of themselves.
What is stopping us from just giving these medications to uglier women and them becoming prettier versions of them?
Rounding up the fours.
That's it.
Make them age.
I'm asking this seriously.
That's genius.
Thank you, bro.
That is fantastic.
Carl transitioning into a fine bitch.
Why can't we do that?
Let's do that.
There's some dudes that need to just offer that up to shorties, like right there.
Yo, I love you.
I love you, but you're regular.
Yeah, you got to get yourself.
You know what I mean?
Come on.
Let's get you on the PEDs.
I mean, look what just happened to Chris.
Look how beautiful Chris is compared to when he was a guy.
Come on, yo.
Come on, yo.
Go back to when he's a girl.
Pretty little librarian.
Come on, yo.
That right there, Al.
Come on, you aborted three or four of them.
Oh, come on now.
You want to let him suck that thing?
Come on, Al.
House party four rocks.
Don't be hateful.
House party four rocks.
Don't be hateful.
Come on, bro.
With house party four rocks.
It's great.
He's still transitioning.
With the headband.
He's got a little more to go.
He got a little more to go, but the headband looks adorable, Amish.
You know how he could churn that butter?
You're not going to let him churn.
Come on, Al.
Come on, Al.
All right.
Shout out to Mr. Beast and Mrs. Beast.
Come on, Al.
That's fucked up.
Waluigi Time Games00:08:36
Why is that fucked up?
You call it our beast, bro.
He's a beast.
She's not married.
Women can't be beast, bro.
Mr. Beast.
So he's just calling her a beast.
Women can be beasts, bro.
No, he's talking about the future, whoever Mr. Beast marries.
Mr. Beast got a girl, bro.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought we were talking about this.
No, no.
No, shout out to his family.
Why would you jump?
When I say beast, why would you just jump to Chris?
Why'd your mouth water like that, too?
That was so weird.
You got to chill out, Al.
You were really on one table.
Let's just move off.
Yeah.
Let's just move on.
All right, what else we got?
Try not to give him moments.
Can you talk about the Mario movie?
Yeah, did you see that?
Did you see that Mario movie?
I did see the Mario movie.
Did anybody else?
Dove saw it.
I saw it.
Shifty saw it.
Shifty saw it.
You guys didn't see it at all.
No.
Shifty!
So, I'm right now.
I'm right now throwing my hat in to play Waluigi.
Literally.
I think God did that for you, to be honest with you.
You might be right.
You might be right about that.
God threw your nose in the ring.
You might be right.
That was Jesus, bro.
But I would like to play Waluigi in the Mario Brothers 2 movie.
I say Mario, not Mario.
You said Mario a couple times.
Nah, but he like...
Andrew said Borat.
He got.
He's got a lot of money now.
But I say Mario.
Oh, no, you said Borat or some shit.
Borat.
Borat.
I say Borat.
Yeah.
Borat.
It's supposed to be boring.
Borat.
But New Yorkers say Borat.
No, we say Borat.
I say Mario.
It's Mario.
Do I say Mario?
You said Mario sometimes.
Don't matter, whatever.
Mario, brother.
Listen, this movie.
There we go, Shippy.
So, this movie, first of all, great, a lot of fun.
You were asking earlier, you're like, is it a kids' movie or is it one of those cartoons that's kind of like for adults as well?
Shrek.
Shrek or Zootopia.
Yeah.
Right.
That has like a sophisticated plot line and also a childish one.
This is just for kids.
Okay.
This is just for kids.
But what I will say is this: the way that they shoot it is really smart and interesting because at times it turns into the video game.
Like they'll shoot something and then make it 2D, and you'll see the characters running across like a cityscape and they have to jump on things and then go down, etc.
And there's a time where like Mario is learning how to exist in the world and he's failing.
And it reminds you of when you first played Mario and you were jumping off shit and learning the rules.
And I think they do a fantastic job.
And then fucking, what's the Jack Black is sensational?
He's great.
He makes the bad guy likable.
He's so good.
He's almost too good.
He makes Bowser likable.
And they do it on purpose where, like, you don't hate Bowser too much.
Like, the movie is great for kids.
The bad guy's bad, but he's like more naughty than he has been.
It's fun to take kids.
The nostalgia for an adult.
I went with a knees as an Epsy.
If you have that, go.
I mean, it was.
Yeah, it was great.
And then they got over the whole accent scandal pretty well, don't you think?
Oh, yeah.
What was the accent scandal?
I'm sorry.
I mean, it was insulting to Italians.
They made Italians look like a bunch of Goombas, right?
Like the whole, they're like eating pasta.
No, but before that, the scandal was like John LeBron, like Wasamo and folks were saying, like, it's Chris Pratt playing, you know, their white guys playing.
Why does Lake Wasamo care?
Is he Italian?
They want roles.
That's what any Puerto Rican?
Anytime you see an actor complaining about, you know, representation, they just didn't get a role.
Yeah, but he's not Italian, right?
That's what confuses me.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I've never seen him.
Yeah.
But wasn't he Mario or Luigi and like the old old one?
Yeah, you shouldn't have been that shit either.
Oh, so he that's hysterical.
Yeah, I think he's just mad because, like, yo, they didn't ask him to run it back.
Yeah.
But in general, the Italian stuff, they got over it that they played it cliched in a commercial and so they were making fun of it.
Well, they also went the family dinner was there, but whatever.
It's not that bad.
I mean, like, one, Italians have a good sense of humor about this shit, but also, like, the Chris Pratt and then the guy Charlie, is that what's Charlie Day?
Yeah, Charlie Day.
Charlie Day plays Luigi.
Okay, and they're great.
And then Sebastian Maniscalco plays this guy, Spike, and he's great.
He like pops in in a few different scenes.
He's fucking hilarious.
And it's just a really fun movie.
Did you wish Mario's voice was more like quintessential Mario?
Isa mi imario.
He plays that up so it's in the commercial.
So the commercial is really good.
I don't want to give away too much of a movie, but basically they put out a commercial because they're trying to get attention for their plumbing business.
And they put on these like mock Italian voices.
Like these, so isa mi imario.
And then they acknowledge it.
They go, did we go too far with the voices?
So the characters are acknowledging that they're not going to speak in that way, but they did for a certain reason.
Yeah.
That was smart.
Yeah, it was really smart.
So they get around it.
But it's just a fun fucking movie.
And obviously, we grew up with these video games.
They wrapped around our whole childhood.
And like, you'll see little things in it.
Like, you'll see a Yoshi pop up and you'll be like, oh, that's it.
But it's not too much.
That's cool.
You know, like, Toad is cool.
This one's brought it up to me that like they were doing screen tests with the Mario accent as like the traditional Mario accent for all the dialogue.
Yeah.
And that it was uncanny and kind of weird.
Like it fits for like little taglines like a whole an hour and a half of that.
I was just thinking that would give me a headache.
Yeah.
Also, this is like Japanese people's idea of what Italians are.
It's racist as hell.
Yeah.
Video games were racist, man.
Mario is based on this, like a super that was at a building in New York and then with the Japanese execs.
Yeah, this is what we think Italians are.
Just like if you watch Mike Tyson's Punch Out, like every one of those characters is like racist as hell.
This is back in the day where you could kind of be like incredibly stereotypical in video games because they didn't look at them.
Yeah, but they also looked at them as an extension of cartoons.
So if you watch like old cartoons, they didn't have time to explain the complexity of characters.
They'd just be like, okay, here's Brown guy.
Yeah.
Seem Sim Salabim.
Yeah.
What was that Quest?
Johnny Quest, exactly.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I thought it was like fun and cool.
My wife, obviously, different generation than me.
And I don't think she grew up really playing the games as much.
Like she played Mario Kart.
Yeah.
There's even an homage to Mario Kart in it, which is kind of fire.
And so yeah, I just thought it was cool.
Like I would recommend you go see it, but set your expectations at this is a kid's movie that you're going to watch, not this is Zootopia and it's going to describe complex racial dynamics.
Yeah.
Everyone go to Illumination and Instagram and petition for Schultz CW.
Is there a Waluigi in this one?
No.
There's no Wario, no Waluigi.
I think that you bring those characters in later.
Yeah.
The whole world's being created.
This is Illumination that did Despicable Me, Minions.
What else did they do?
They did Sing and Sing.
What is the other thing with Minions?
The guy, Grew.
Oh, that's Despicable Me.
Yeah, yeah.
You think you have what it takes to be Waluigi, bro?
I think I do.
I'll be honest with you guys.
I've never seen him in a game.
I've never played with him.
I didn't even know who Luwaluigi was until the internet started saying I was quick wallup.
I didn't know what the character was because I never played him in.
We never played it.
Yeah, we were out of video games at that point, I think, or out of Mario at least.
But not in the old Mario Karts.
I think he might have been in the old ones.
I don't think so.
You mess with Yoshi a lot.
Not in our Mario Kart.
Wario.
You couldn't even be Wario in the old Mario Kart.
It was just Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Princess, Toad, Bowser.
All right.
Well, obviously, voice acting takes more than just looking like him.
You got to sound like him.
Let me see what he sounds like.
Waluigi time.
Waluigi time.
That was really good.
Yeah.
That was really good.
You got it.
That's the jump, bro.
Okay.
Keep going.
Next one.
Wow.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's uncanny.
You do that noise already, actually.
I've heard that noise when I do.
It's called 39.
That needs a little work.
That needs a little workout.
Does he got words, yo?
I don't think so.
I don't know if I want this role.
I don't know if I want this role, yo.
Go.
Waluigi time.
You're back in the room.
Waluigi time.
This is done, bro.
If that's all I got to say, they got to give me this role immediately.
I want to say that.
Pedro Pascal for Wario.
I mean, what are they doing that because of the SNL?
He did that in the movie.
He did.
I think he did an SNL, right?
Yeah, I mean, he's just on fire right now.
Matt Damon Drama00:14:35
So absolutely.
He's the best, dude.
That is the power of having an impactful role, an endearing and impactful role, is that people take the relationship that you have in the show and they superimpose that onto who you are as a man.
Yeah.
So, like, we look at superheroes as that in real life.
Yeah.
Like, people think Michael B. Jordan can box, right?
That you look at.
He's still with that smoke.
Yeah, it's not happening.
Pedro Pascal, we think, is like the sweetest, kindest man that just cares for an orphan girl and he's going to look out for her, which he may be.
Yeah.
But we truly believe he would risk his life for this girl.
And I wonder if as you're crafting an actor's career, you look at a guy like Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wonder if there's like specific things that they're taking so that you can like create this archetype for who this imaginary person is.
For sure.
Like, I bet you like villain roles will come up after you have like a hot role.
And they're like, no, we can't.
We can't do it right now.
Yeah.
Because we're still building his character.
As like a leading man.
Is he brave?
Yes.
Is he willing to sacrifice himself?
Titanic.
Yes, he's willing to die.
Is he, or I think it was Romeo and Juliet as well.
He's willing to die for his love.
Okay, now women are like, that man's willing to die for me.
I want a man who will love me in that way.
Okay, now you need to put him in something.
I mean, we're fast forwarding, but it's like we need the love role on the beach.
Women just want all of them, the beach or whatever.
Then you have, you go later in his career, you look at a movie like Inception.
Here's like a sophisticated guy who's loathing.
He's got to be a crackhead or some shit.
Was he in Fear and Loathing?
I think so, right?
No, no, no.
That was Johnny Depp.
Oh, fuck.
Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp is another interesting one.
You know, he went through for more like kind of weird roles.
Artsy stuff.
Yeah.
And it kind of stopped us from looking at him as a person and we look at him more as a character.
Like Johnny Depp feels like an extension of all of his characters.
Yeah.
Where Leo is like, no, you're just playing Leo as the Titanic person.
Right?
Yeah.
Like, yeah, I wonder if as like a manager or an agent, you're thinking of that.
Like with Timothy Chalamay, what are they doing right now?
Like, what's the plan?
We're like, okay, you're Dune.
You're going to save the universe.
Everybody's going to love you.
What's the next move?
I heard Will Smith mapped out his entire career before.
What did he do?
Like he had a very specific, like, I'm going to do a buddy cop movie and then I'm going to do an alien movie.
And it was more genre specific, I think.
But like apparently he had everything mapped out of this is how I'm going to become a man.
Because once you get control, you've got to be specific.
It's like he did Independence Day.
He saves the world.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now you go, I'm save the world guy.
Yeah.
I need to be save the world guy and leading man guy.
Yeah.
So what's the next project that allows me to do that?
I need to be save the world guy and get the baddest bitch in the room guy.
So all the women realize that I'm a heartthrob and they got to love me.
Right.
Right?
It's like carefully curating that.
So you know what Chalamet has coming out?
Talk to me.
Dune 2, but then Wonka.
He's going to play a young Willy Wonka and it's a story of how he met the Oompa Lumpas.
So here's an interesting one.
So here's the thing about that.
No, no, no, no.
This is the thing about that.
I thought they were trying to make Timothy Chalamay the next LeonardoCaprio.
And that is a Johnny Depp move.
And I'm not saying that because Johnny was Willy Wonka.
What I'm saying is he's going to play a character that removes himself from what we think he is.
Like right now, we think Timothy Chalamet is a little piece of the guy he's playing in Doom and a little piece of the guy he's playing the rom-coms or whatever he did.
This is a character.
Now we start to be a little bit blurry in terms of who he is, which might work if he wants to play these character pieces.
Yeah, I think it's that.
He's a theater kid from the city.
He was in Wes Anderson's French Dispatch.
He likes these roles.
DiCaprio works for the same five directors, drama, drama, drama, drama.
So you look at, this is interesting.
Like you look at a guy like Denzel, which has also been carefully crafted.
And like, obviously there's going to be certain opportunities that are provided to him or certain opportunities that he can't have and he has to kind of like earn in a different way than a white actor go.
Miles has a story about Denzel.
What was it that they were saying?
Can I just get this point out real quick?
So it's like, for example, he's going to play a famous black person.
Yeah.
Right.
He's going to play the racial movie stuff as well.
I think what was it called?
Glory, exactly.
Right.
And it's almost like, here are the opportunities for black actors at this time.
You're going to either play super famous black guy or a black guy in this role where like a white guy was like really good to black people at a time where he should have been mean.
But he exceeds and he kills it.
Right.
And then he has, then they have to go, okay, how do we make him just superstar?
How do we not make him black superstar?
Just superstar.
They did that with Will and they did that with Denzel brilliantly.
How do we make him heartthrop?
Because there was a time where everybody would talk about Denzel as like the most the best looking man on the planet.
Decades, right?
Like he was number one.
He was the, I think, GQ's, the hottest guy or whatever.
Like that.
How do they do that?
Yes, he's a handsome guy, but it's more than that.
That's where managers really get their cut, right?
Like if you're like crafting that shit, like Will Smith fumbled with The Matrix.
Like he was supposed to be Neo and then did Wild Wild West instead of that.
But that's but that's the thing.
It's like Will Smith different than Denzel is they always based his, they called it, he would do event films.
So a big Christmas movie or Thanksgiving at Christmas and a big suburb block.
Mr. Fourth of July.
The goal for him to get to is he was one of the three people that were offered the top role in whatever movie first.
It's Brad Pitt, Will Smith, DiCaprio.
Like DiCaprio would be third.
Like Will Smith, I said this before, was offered inception before DiCaprio and just didn't get it in the same way.
So that's just kind of like, you get to that level.
It doesn't matter race, this or that.
It's just like, I'm box office.
Yeah.
Give it to me and let me see.
And that's why it kind of looks a little.
Timothy Shalomay one seems weird though.
What's that?
Him going and trying to get the Oompa Lumpas.
Yo, because I can't imagine that shit's going to be good.
I think it's just because we look at him like, oh, he's clearly going to go like this.
You're the hard part.
He's going from that and now he's in pre-profit.
Where is he going to get the wompalumpas?
That's what I'm worried about.
I haven't read it.
But then he's going to go to these kids.
And then he's going to go super method actor Bob Dylan and he's going to sing Bob Dylan songs.
Timothy and his people think that he's Johnny Depp.
Not that he is that, but they like that career trajectory where Johnny played certain famous people.
I think Johnny played Whitey Bulger.
Remember that famous Boston Irish dancer or something like that.
And Johnny went and he played whatever Tim Burton wanted to play.
But it was also Bonnie and Clyde.
Wasn't there a movie that he did where they were like bank robbers back in the day?
Or wasn't the Romeo and Juliet remake?
Oh, he did the Romeo from Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah.
So maybe that's where Timothy is going with the career.
And that's what you would do if you want to really flex your acting.
If you want to be superstar, you want to go do what Leo did.
We kind of got to fall in love with Leo.
That's what Brad Pitt did.
That's what George Clooney did.
That's what Denzel did.
That's what Denzel did, where you kind of play a version of yourself.
It's a little different in everyone, but we're going there for you.
Yeah.
It's like...
Maybe he thinks he can't do it with Spider-Man, dude, also going that same route.
Oh, shit.
No, you're tapping in on something here.
This is like upper echelon Hollywood chess play, right?
You want a certain career.
You also have to recognize there are other people that are going up for the same roles as you.
And you look at what you can do and you look at what like a guy like Tom Holland can do.
So you and your management have to go, we could fight for every role with Tom Holland and probably lose because he's attached to these massive Marvel franchises and he's a global name.
Or you could go the artsy route.
Tom can't do that.
Or maybe he can or can't.
We don't know.
But that's not what he's going to be asked to do.
You go the artsy route, you become Johnny Depp, and then you be known as the thespian.
Let him be the Marvel Super Method or some shit.
Yes.
I think that's what they do.
But that's like a combo where you got to sit down with a fucking 19-year-old kid and be like, what do you want to, what do you want to be seen as?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
That's tough to do.
Have you heard of the Matt Damon, Ben Affleck thing?
Where like, so Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are both brilliant guys.
They created Goodwill Hunting.
They've created plenty of other movies since.
We look at Ben as the jock and Matt as like the smart sophisticated one.
Yeah.
Misunderstood, maybe, but smart sophisticated.
I think Matt did go to Harvard, but also that's who they played in the film that created our idea of them.
Right.
So the roles that Ben has gotten offered fit that mold of a guy who's kind of like a tough guy.
He might be smart, but he's like a tough guy.
Jock and Boston.
And then I think Matt gets to do talented Mr. Ripley.
Yeah.
It's exactly the movie.
Because I'm sure people are writing the movies and they're like, you know who'd be perfect for this?
Yes.
The guy that made me feel that way when I watched Google Hunting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What happens ultimately, though, the director, once a director and an actor fall in love, you have Johnny Depp and Tim Burton eight movies together.
Leo and Martin Corsazi five movies together.
So like the battle, it stops being a battle with Tom Holland and Shalamay once.
Like, I mean, if Chalamet's guy, Denise Villeneuve, who also did Sicario, if he then, after Dune wants to do another, like, they'll work together forever.
And it's like, find your muse, keep going.
You know what's interesting, though?
And I'm actually curious about your guys' thoughts on this.
Do you like seeing a new actor that you don't know anything about in a movie?
Or do you like seeing a known actor play somebody who you know he isn't?
It depends if they're archetyped.
Like if they're in the role that they were before, and then the mental friction is much less because they're playing similar roles.
Like if all of a sudden you put like Joffrey in like a leading man where he's super charming, I'm like, you're like, what's going on?
This is too much for my brain.
That's big barrier entry.
Yes, that's how I felt about Ben Stiller in Tower Heist.
The movie Tower Heist is supposed to be kind of grounded and serious.
And Ben Stiller is such a brilliant comedic actor in silly, absurdist films.
Yeah.
So I couldn't take him being serious in this grounded comedy.
Yeah.
Like every time he was talking and like, I was like, wait, is this sarcastic?
Like, what's going on here?
That's interesting.
I actually like when they do that.
Well, you know who is the best?
I like to see the lead though.
Well, this is this is interesting.
All right, here's your inside baseball.
It was going to be Eddie.
That's Eddie's movie.
Eddie's supposed to be the lead, and the fucking movie theater, the movie, the movie studio, wouldn't finance it.
Tower Heist?
They were like, we don't believe that he can draw.
And you know what the movie was going to be called?
Trump Heist.
And then Trump wanted 10 million for the name and they wouldn't pay it.
Wow.
But like when Jim Carrey, he did that serious role.
Oh, Eternal Sun.
I thought that was amazing.
How was it?
What was the other one where he was fantastic?
That's like that.
He did great.
And I was like surprised everything everywhere.
It's like, I had never seen him in a serious role.
Did you ever watch Truman Show?
That was his big break from comedy for all.
I thought he was still funny, but I remember that being a big deal.
I remember that being a big deal of, yo, Jim Carrey's breaking away from comedy.
He's going to do a drama.
And when they used to do it back in the day, Robin Williams did it.
It'd be a big deal.
We would be like, oh, shit, this comedic actor is doing a drama.
But I feel even in that, he was still a little funny.
Yeah, he was waving to the neighbors.
It was silly, but yeah, you weren't laughing.
But he was like, what, that one?
Eternal.
What is it?
Eternal Sunshine?
Eternal Sun.
Actually, it was just serious drama.
And he killed that.
What about Steve Correl and his dramatic roles?
He's fucking amazing.
He's great.
He's one that crossed over perfectly.
That was cool.
He was super good.
Yo, but I think that he plays drama and comedy almost the same.
I just think it's situationally different.
So when he plays, when he plays comedy, he's so funny because he's so serious.
He's not trying to be funny.
Like his character in the office is not trying to be.
I am dead serious about this, and that's why it's hilarious.
And I think when he's being dramatic and the situation causes for drama, he gets to be dead serious about it.
So I think it's like really the context of what's going on.
I think that's oftentimes why comedic actors can transition into drama really well because they're not trying.
They were trying to be dramatic.
Yeah.
When they were doing the comments.
Because I was going to say, that's a point you bring up about comedic actors in general.
They don't know they're being funny.
And that's why it's hilarious.
And that's why.
We're laughing at them.
Yeah.
So Steve Corell, that would apply to all comedic actors you on drama, basically.
The ones that are good.
I think that they can transition.
Now, I think that's why oftentimes I've said this before, why stand-up struggle with comedic acting is because we're trying to say the funny thing when we're on stage.
And then when you're acting, you're not trying to be funny.
And I think we don't know how to do it.
You can't just say punchlines.
That's a good point.
All right.
Question for you.
The new movie, Air, came out.
No spoiler.
Well, the only spoiler, which isn't a spoiler, is Jordan is not in the movie.
Great idea.
So that was actually decided because Ben Affleck thought it would be too distracting.
Because here's the argument.
Who would play Jordan?
I bumped into Matt Damon the other day at the cellar.
He came out to watch a show and I said that specific thing.
I was like, dude, I think it's a great idea that you guys didn't put Jordan in the movie.
And his reaction was, yeah, the whole world would collapse.
He wouldn't believe what's happening because there's no one that can play Jordan.
It's like, you know how they've made those like Michael Jackson movies and they just all feel weird.
Nobody can be Mike.
Yeah.
Like it's almost like you need Mike to be dead for 30 years.
So you kind of forget.
I'm sorry.
What do you mean they didn't put Mike in a movie?
They only use footage of him in the movie.
They did not cast an actor.
There's no actor playing Mike.
Really?
I think that was smart.
Who would you be okay with it?
New actor, audition, a la Matt Damon.
He's really the only person.
Yeah.
Like, I think maybe CGI.
Yeah, I don't know.
Or do the Looney Turn, Looney Tunes version?
Do Space Jam?
Yeah, just think Space Jam.
I don't know.
It's a weird thing, but I think that, and I haven't seen the movie yet, but my understanding is that his mom is kind of the star.
Yeah.
That was something that they mentioned that, I mean, Jordan's, I don't think he's a producer on it, but he was, Ben Affleck did consult with him or at least mention to get a little head nod.
And he was the one that says, Viola Davis needs to play my mom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's cool.
Chris Tucker Flex00:06:39
Dude, comedic actors being serious in that vein.
Did you hear what Dana Carvey said this weekend about when he was doing Master of Disguise?
No, this shit.
I was dying laughing.
So basically, Master of Disguise, he plays all these characters, right?
He plays infamously the turtle guy.
Am I Turtle Enough for the Turtle Club?
I mean, he looks like every one of the turtles that's in the new Mario Brothers version.
Bro, it's insane.
Doesn't he, Doug?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, what do they call it?
The little Koopa Koopa or the Goombas.
Yeah, the Goombas.
So they filmed this during 9-11.
They're filming it as 9-11's happening.
So all of a sudden, they wrap the scene as the turtle guy, and the director comes out.
He's like, guys, there's just been a tragedy in New York City.
Oh, my God.
The towers just fell.
It's a terrorist attack.
So we're actually going to do a moment of silence for all the lives that were lost on 9-11.
He's still in full makeup.
They all hold hands in a circle on the set of Turtly Enough, and they fucking do a moment of silence with the lip and the shell on.
And he has to be fully serious.
Like, this is terrible what happened in this country as that guy.
Does he say anything during the silence?
No, imagine he just, what if he just goes in a shell?
He just hides away.
Bro, I couldn't believe it that they made him on my guy.
Dean costume had to be serious for a 9-11 trip.
I've never seen this.
What's this?
Dana Carvey.
He's Wayne Wayne's world.
He plays Garth.
I haven't seen it.
I know of it.
He just plays SNL for years.
He just plays all these Zane characters.
He's an actor.
I'm talking about movie.
The movie's called Master of Disguise.
Yeah.
Basically, he's got to steal back this thing and he has to do all these different disguises.
It's an opportunity for him to flex all of his characters.
Yeah, literally.
One of the most brilliant things about Beverly Hills cop, you know, the movie?
Yeah.
Is that I don't know if they did this by design or they just kind of lucked out, but they created an opportunity for Eddie to flex all of his characters.
So he was this detective and he got to use the character work to extract information from people and get access to certain places that he wouldn't normally be able to get access to, et cetera.
And it was like a really smart way to bake a comedian's talents into a role.
Now, this one, I haven't seen the movie, but maybe someone would be like, okay, this is overkill.
Like, he's dressing as a turtle or he's doing this.
But what they're doing is, hey, he's so brilliant at all these characters.
Let's find a way to use it.
I don't know if anybody had done that before ever.
And it's like, you saw it done.
Chris Tucker, who I love, who's also in air.
But I remember watching, I think Rush Hour, he's just doing the same thing that Eddie's doing, where you're like, I got to get access to this place, so I'm going to pretend to be this guy.
And it was so smart in Beverly Hills Cop they did that.
Every time I watch it, I'm like, God damn it, how do they think of that?
I really wonder if they wrote it regular and Eddie was like, hey, why don't I pretend to be a gay dude here?
Why don't I pretend to be an African guy here?
Health inspector or whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He like hustles his way in everything.
Yeah.
Or if that was just part of the character.
But I think that's, I don't know, like if you're like an executive, if you're a producer, if you're even a writer, like if you see a comedic talent, you want to use that talent because that's the expectation we all have.
Yeah.
When we see, was it Chris Farley?
Right?
Like you, one of the cool things about seeing him in movies is like you got to see the reason he's funny in the movie.
Yeah.
Like you're tuning in for that.
The physical comedy.
You mean physical comedy?
He's fucking turning flush and red and like he's emotionally unstable.
Like show me that shit.
The last thing I want is to have an expectation of this character and then you not deliver anything on it.
Yeah.
There was the what's the I can't believe I'm fucking forgetting his name.
Swingers.
Vince Vaughn.
Vince Vaughan.
Vince Vaughn was in a season of that HBO show, True Detective.
Yeah.
And he just played a different type of character that had no Vince Vaughan in it.
Yeah, everybody hated it.
I was so let down.
And it's not an insult to Vince, but it's like, Vince, I love you so much being you.
Yeah.
I was upset I didn't get to see you.
I was tuning in.
I feel like that happens with certain people.
Vince does it a couple times.
He did swingers.
He did Wedding Crashers.
He did the one where they had the frat house old school.
Oh, yeah.
And then maybe one other movie.
And then he kind of moves away from being slick, fast-talking, abrasive Vince Vaughan guy.
And then he starts playing more muted comedies.
Chris Tucker's another one.
I brought him up earlier.
I fucking worshiped Chris Tucker as a kid.
And then it seems like after Rush Hour, he's like, all right, I'll do Rush Hour 2.
And then he just kind of stopped doing the Chris Tucker thing.
And as fans of this guy, you're like, yo, I want to see you keep milking that, yo.
And then he just stopped.
And you're seeing, apparently, he's great in air.
Ben Siller's in love with him, which is cool.
He was in Silverlining's playbook.
He's good in that.
But it's like, yo, I wish I could have seen you do a couple more movies as that guy is Chris Tucker, as Smokey.
Is it possible that there's like a, this is going to sound wild gay, but just roll on me.
Roll with me on this.
Is it possible there's like a, like a, there's a real artist in them?
Yeah.
And that they're going, I did this, and now you just want me to like mimic this thing I already did.
And the artist in me is going, I want to be able to flex myself in different ways and create new things.
And this just feels like I'm replaying the old shit.
I do think so, especially with Vince Vaughn.
Chris Tucker, the one thing I couldn't figure out is, you guys have all seen Money Talks, right?
Oh, yeah.
It's one of the best comedic performances I've ever seen.
I'm not even bullshitting.
That scene stealing.
Everything like if he's in it, unbelievable.
You can't take your eyes off.
Dude, you see him be funny with just his eyes.
Like he fucking maximizes everything.
And then Rush Hour was like, oh, you're kind of doing Eddie.
You're Chris Tucker, but you're kind of doing it.
But Rush Hour is still really good.
Yeah, it's great.
But then the next movie does is Rush Hour 2, which is more the same.
And I was like, I feel like you're not doing artistic stuff right now.
Brett Ratner was the director of Rush Hour, and apparently they would watch Eddie.
I've read this in a magazine 20 years ago.
So if I'm wrong, fuck me.
But he's like, let's watch Eddie in Beverly Hills Cop and let's get inspiration from that.
And it's like, yo, let Chris Tucker be Chris Tucker, yo.
Did you guys see The Fifth Element?
Yes.
So great.
Call me.
Call me, baby.
So, first of all, Fifth Element is just like a really fun movie.
You got to see it.
I know you haven't.
It's like iconic Bruce Willis.
It's different.
It's like sci-fi-esque.
It's just kind of fun.
There's just a lot of fun.
Mila Javovovich or whatever her name is is fucking the hottest girl on the planet.
Lilu.
What is it?
Lilu.
Yeah, yeah.
But it just proves like we don't need women to talk.
Like the girl can't even speak English, but you're like, this is the most beautiful woman.
I will save you.
Like, he saves this girl just because she's hot.
But Chris Tucker is in it.
And he plays this extravagant, what is he, like a host of a host of the music nights or something?
Radio, like the whole thing.
Acting Without Fear00:05:04
But the confidence it takes for like pretty much one of your first roles to do that.
To have no fear.
He plays, he's like dresses in women's clothes.
He has like a woman's hair to do.
He's like flamboyant gay.
And I don't even know if he's gay because I think.
Because he's going down on a girl in the first scene.
He's like cooking up with a girl.
It's supposed to be the future.
So he's just a wild, like out there kind of guy.
But the confidence, it's not about the homosexuality thing.
It's more just like the confidence to do that in a place where you're not even comfortable.
You haven't even been an actor yet, bro.
You've been doing 15 minutes on Def Comedy Jam and you stepped into this role.
Most people would freeze.
The guy got a crazy head.
He's like, hey, what's up?
Stealing the fucking stuff.
You got to explain what it's like being on a set like that.
Because I don't, I think people look at the movie and they go, oh, yeah, he just did what he does.
It's your 300 people, maybe even more.
They got shit to do.
They're setting stuff up for fucking hours.
You're waiting around doing nothing.
You get to film for a few minutes.
So the majority of the days, they're just setting up.
They want to move on to another scene.
Everything's running late.
Everybody's pushing you past the time.
Everybody's upset.
Everybody's worried.
Everybody's flustered.
You like, most people are just going, I need to get these lines right to come in there and just be that big and own it.
Unreal.
Having no clue.
Like, maybe he was a theater kid.
I don't know.
Not that I know of.
Not that I know, but like, just to know where you are with the blocking.
Yeah.
He's just owning the room and everything.
And I remember like, I remember after doing acting, thinking about him and that and being like, this guy is either ignorance is bliss or a combination of just like a true savant, like looked at it, looked at the whole scenario, understood what it was, and just going to go out there and get it.
Or the luckiest person I've ever seen.
Because if you're big and snappy and doing all that shit and it fails a few times, please believe.
Yeah.
We got to get him on a pop.
Bro, that would be awesome.
Even talks about that where he's like, you got to either be like with rules, like rules bring you up to mediocrity.
Like rules will make you average if you understand the rules.
So you either got to not know the rules and be ignorant like you're saying, or be such a master of the rules that you know how to break them.
Yes.
And then that takes hella years.
But like if you can be on either end of that, that's where you're like making big breakthrough magic.
Can I tell you something?
Please.
On that specifically, this is why I've been acting.
I didn't have the confidence to just break these fucking rules without knowing, like pretending to be ignorant.
Like I'd be intimidated by certain situations, but I was like, nah, I want to get the most out of this.
I want to get this.
And in situations where like a director was really supportive of me, I knew I could do whatever I want because I felt that support.
But I've also been in situations where I didn't even know if they gave a fuck.
And I was like, I don't want to ruin this for everybody.
And I felt myself melt.
Right.
So I was like, okay, I have to get good enough at this and understand this enough where I know where I could go and where I know I could pull back.
How I could try my little shit in a safe enough place where if they liked it, they'd be like, yo, do that, run that back again.
You've been just past the rules enough because you already know where they are.
Exactly.
So I had no clue where the fucking rules were.
So I was, and then I was just going and doing my thing.
And if it didn't work, I was like, did I just fuck this up for everybody?
What's the whole situation?
You know, it's a really good way of looking at it.
Know the rules so well.
You got to be a lawyer.
Like I, or like an accountant.
Like, I know the tax code so well that we could get freaky with it.
Yeah.
Or you got to be completely, you got to walk in like a rapper smoking weed.
All right, where you want me?
And then you could say whatever you want.
Nobody could really be that upset.
Yeah.
That's a good way of putting it.
Yeah, it's interesting.
Just in life in general.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you see people.
Borat Borat pretends he doesn't know.
You heard how he just said that.
You heard how he just said that.
Everyone heard that.
That's Borat.
Everyone heard that, bro?
Come on.
No, but that is Borat, though.
You can't even say it right now.
He's trying to say it right.
No, that is Borat, though, because he just pretends he doesn't know the rules of America.
And Americans, for the most part, are like, hey, buddy, it's okay.
I'll kind of teach you the rules.
We let you get away with it.
Yeah.
I think he set that kid up to try to suck Dalai Lama's tongue, bro.
Yeah.
That was a Borat sketch, bro.
If that was, imagine.
Shout out, Sasha Baron Cole.
Like, I know he sucks, but if he actually did that on purpose, I'd be like, all right, that was a good one.
You got one.
But yeah, it's like, you ever see someone do stand-up for like the first couple of times and they're doing shit that's like high level and they don't even know it because they don't know the rules.
Like they're just like stumbling into like great premises or like a big laugh on accident.
And then once they kind of know the rules, it'll go down.
Yep.
And then you got to do 10 years to know the rules just to push past it.
Bro, that's so true.
There's a genius in not knowing.
Sometimes, so I'll look, I look back at some of my oldest premises.
Yeah.
And I was like, these are fire.
Yeah.
I just didn't know how to make them work.
And I think the reason why it dips down is because the level of difficulty to execute that, think of it like a dive.
You know, there's different levels of difficulty for a dive, right?
You want to do six different flips or whatever like that.
That's like the highest level of difficulty.
The ideas you have organically walking through society might not really be hacky.
Beatles Derivative Change00:03:56
They might, but you might just have this crazy wild idea.
And then trying to make it funny, you're like, I can't do that shit.
But the idea is pure because it's not derivative.
It's not derivative of anything.
You know what I also want to do is take bits that worked in year five, redo them, deconstruct them, and be like, the premise is good, but now I'm a better comic.
Can I make this joke match where I am now comedically?
And then it's like a good premise that worked one at year five and we got real comedic, whatever behind it.
I think you see it in all art.
I think rappers do that.
Like musicians, like they'll come out with like some mixtape that's crazy because they don't even understand what they're doing.
And then people tell them, oh, yeah, you should do this.
And they give them all the structure.
And then it kind of fucks up, like, fucks with their head.
And it's like, I think what happens is when they experience some success, they feel a pressure to replicate that success.
And oftentimes, in trying to replicate the success, you just replicate the thing that you did that got you successful.
And then it's derivative.
And then pure anymore.
Yeah.
And it's one, it's derivative.
There's impurity to it, but also like there's not that same passion.
Yeah.
Because you're doing it for success instead of the love.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And as much as y'all want to trash the Beatles, I admire them trying completely new shit, knowing full well it could fail.
Yeah.
Like that's brave.
And they're like, yo, at least we love it.
Yeah.
And that's the game is figuring out how you can do that new shit at the same level that you did the old shit that people loved.
Knowing full well when people hear it, they're going to be like, yo, this is not it.
Yeah.
Or this is Japanese bitch.
Right?
Because there was probably people that were like, nah, they're not what they used to be.
Yeah, when they were doing the Indian shit, like the psych rock.
They're like, what happened?
They did too much drugs.
Like, they fell off.
Yeah.
Someone is also, I was talking to Miles about this.
They broke up when they were like 26.
Bruh.
That's crazy.
I didn't know.
They stopped making music as a group.
Like, I think Paul was like 27.
26 was like old back then.
You actually do break it down.
That's wash.
That's like a 50-year-old, really.
Is that what they did when they went to India, Belgrade?
Did Gandhi fuck them into greatness?
He might have, bro.
He had that ability.
Gandhi might have fucked them into greatness, bro.
That's amazing.
Yo, shout out Gandhi.
I don't know enough about the Beatles.
How long were they like on top?
From what I was like, then they broke up.
From what I hear from a white guy, the 60s wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the Beatles.
I don't know if that's a real thing.
But like the whole hippie era, the Beatles were the guys that ushered that in.
The whole hippie live on the fucking, do all the drugs.
And I guess what he's saying is when the Beatles started doing all the psychedelics and making this weird music, it opened up that whole world for people back when there was three TV channels and a couple records that you listen to and that was it.
So that's their impact.
I thought they started as like the cheesy boy band group that all the girls loved.
They did.
And then they broke up and then did the psychedelic route?
No.
No, I don't think they broke up.
They just changed their sound, like went to India and like started doing all these crazy new sounds and they were just the coolest motherfuckers.
If you watch the Get Back documentary on Netflix on Disney, it's like they're just wearing the coolest shit and people now are like doing derivative shit of their new sounds.
Like Tame and Paula doesn't exist.
I mean, I don't know if you give a fuck about Tame and Paula, but like they are replicating them.
Like all these other musicians that exist now are replicating different eras of the Beatles and doing that differently.
Like the fruit of what they created is like untouchable.
Gotcha.
But when they switched their sound, then people weren't fucking with it or some people, it was like, hit them.
No, it was still huge.
It was still huge, but I'm sure anytime there's change, there's going to be rejection and pushback from somebody.
The biggest change was Yoko.
But that's that Asian bitch that split them up.
Yeah.
But yeah, imagine InSync starts doing crazy drugs and then starts making like music and like really fucking experimental sounds and you're like, yo, this is art.
Don't you know?
Beach Boys.
That happened to them.
So they started to pop bounce music.
But yes, 100%.
I get these days.
Wow.
Yeah, it's wild to have that type of pressure.
Critics and Audience Pressure00:06:07
Also, to be able to reject all the voices that are compelling you to create the same thing that was so successful because they rely on you economically.
Yeah.
Every one of the executives and producers, like, for example, like some of those producers that know how to produce regular hokey boy band shit, they don't know how to do that Indian shit.
Yeah.
So they might be out of a job.
So they're saying, are we sure we want to go in this direction?
You got everybody saying, don't go in this direction.
That's unbelievable.
That's where they lock themselves in a room and they shut out everything.
They don't have the internet.
They can't see all the critics like every single day.
How different would it be if you get constant tweets with negativity?
Yeah, it sucks.
It like disrupts the creative process.
Like I was talking to the dude.
He was the editor-in-chief of Complex and he was talking about the role of the critic back in the day.
And it's like back in the day, there was such a pressure when you're buying an album.
You know what I mean?
Like you would buy a CD, you would spend like the only money you have when you're 15 years old, go to the store, buy a CD, and like every time you would skip, it would fuck up your battery life on your fucking Walkman.
So like there was a ton of pressure for like buying shit and you had an obligation to the audience to be like, hey, this is the shit you should put your money on and spend time with.
And this is the stuff you should reject.
But now that everything's streaming, like the role of the critic is kind of like phased out a little.
Yeah, because I feel that way with film for sure, where like the critic's job was to get you to hire a babysitter.
Yeah.
It was to get you to put on clothing and leave your home.
We don't really need a critic for a streaming show because the barrier to entry is so low.
I just press play in my underwear.
Like you told me Blackbird was great.
I watched Blackbird.
It was great.
But if it wasn't great.
If it wasn't great, I'd watch an episode and be like, yo, I didn't like it that much.
And I'd probably make fun of you.
But I wouldn't, you know what I mean?
Like, it wouldn't.
Exactly.
But if you go to the movies, you put the whole shit on and do everything.
If you went, you go to Tower Records, you buy the fucking CD, takes you 15 minutes to unwrap that bitch.
Remember to put it in the best plastic ever.
I remember buying that.
I'll have to make columns out of that.
You know what I mean?
Like, that shit never broke once.
It's an old boys to men fucking album.
Wrap that shit on your desk.
Jesus.
So it's like, and then it sucks.
You're like, oh, hell no.
Yeah.
Yo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't have the right to be that angry when you see something shitty on Netflix.
You're like, yeah, it's free.
It feels free.
It's right there.
You skip it, and then there's something else.
Yeah.
So he was saying, like, the role is now turned to curation.
So, like, just curate the stuff that you think is fire and then put people onto that.
And that's how you organize your audience, which is implicit criticism, but it's not direct.
It's not like this is good, this is bad.
It's like, hey, here's all the fire shit.
And honestly, what a better life.
Oh, yeah.
Like, imagine being a critic where like you feel like you're in some position to like judge the art.
Yeah.
Especially with an art like comedy, where it's like, we can hear the audience.
Yeah.
We don't need you.
Are they laughing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, that's it.
That's the answer.
It's right.
There's one answer that's good.
It's laughter.
And they're laughing, right?
So, but I love this idea of curation.
Like, even, I tell my girl, I'm like, people really like it when you're saying these restaurants that are out there because they trust your taste.
Yeah.
And it simplifies their life in a way.
But she's not saying this place sucks.
Exactly.
She's just saying, here are the five best.
And then those places go to those places will hit you up and be like, hey, that really meant a lot.
We worked so hard on this place and you shared it.
Just like we do.
Like when somebody shares our stuff, it's like, yo, thank you.
Like we fucking try hard on this.
And for you to acknowledge that, it feels good.
That's what Noah was saying.
He was like, there's back in the day, there was so much pressure that you know someone poured their life into this and they got a producer.
Like think about how hard it was to make a rap album in the fucking early 2000s.
Like there was a lot of time and a lot of people put energy into it for you to be like, yeah, this shit sucks.
But you have an obligation to the audience because you know there's one kid with one $10 bill and he's going to buy one album.
So you had to kind of parse it to where you were doing a justice to them.
Well, that's how it's changed.
The power of the DJ.
The DJ is the curator.
He's right.
Yeah.
But it is interesting.
He was also saying there's like good criticism and bad criticism.
Like just saying something is trash is bad criticism.
Like there's no thought put into it.
But if you're really like deconstructing what someone's doing, being like, these parts were amazing.
These parts were lacking.
Production on this wasn't that good.
The beats weren't great, but the lyrics were good.
He's like, that's the criticism that artists should consider.
I feel like critics went through a stage of like they mattered and their voices really actually swayed people's opinion or like directed them what to do or say or watch.
And then they started to matter a little less.
So then you would just have the critics that just will shit on something.
Just for attention.
They're just trying to get clicks, bro.
And like negativity is the easiest way to get it.
Don't even matter.
Like even for this Mario movie, the what's it called?
The Rotten Tomato movie.
Yeah, the Rotten Tomatoes, like 50%.
How are they going to compete with millions of people or hundreds of thousands of people vote as 98%?
And then it becomes the highest-grossing cartoon movie in history for their first weekend.
Yeah, opening weekend, yeah.
So it's like, yeah, obviously you're going to trust the people.
Because think about it.
It's like, I don't know.
I don't know how often.
It seems like Rotten Tomatoes critics, you just go across whatever the political, like if it's a left-leaning film, it's going to have a high critic score.
It just seems, and we talked about certain comedy specials where it's like, I think they, at this point, no one really cares about Rotten Tomato.
So it's like, hey, let's do something that's so against everybody else.
So everybody comes and clicks on our site.
Yeah.
Because are you going to check Rotten Tomatoes before you?
Well, it just aggregates what critics say, right?
So it's just like critics, 50% said it's good, 50% said it was bad.
Yeah, but it's like same way how TikTok, all those views aren't real views.
I think it's just like, yeah, let's just make the critic score be this.
Okay, maybe.
I don't know.
It would make you go.
I was like, why is such a discrepancy between these two shows?
But isn't it nice that we trust the people?
Yeah.
Now we do.
Back in the day, we used to be like, oh, the people traders.
Oh, I guess it's trash.
You couldn't aggregate the people.
Yeah, but I guess now with the Rotten Tomatoes, like I trust the people score over everybody.
Every way, like it's almost to the point where if the critics give it 99, I'm skeptical.
I'm like, you about to trick me to watch some corny ass fucking movie without gender.
Learning Indian Shit00:06:10
I got bought out.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So that's interesting.
And that's on the critics.
If you just if you just bolster shit for political reasons and then you trash shit because it's going to get you clicks, you eventually are going to lose the faith of the audience.
Yes, they have.
And they fucking did.
All right, so let's get up.
That's the Mario discrepancy.
Rotten tomato stock.
He said 50 and 98.
Yeah.
57 and 96.
There's no way I can.
He actually said the scores earlier.
Yeah, you just disappeared.
I just had to acknowledge.
I'm not half black.
He acknowledged, by the way, he said Mario.
I think he thought it was a different man.
I also acknowledged I was right about the ages of Gandhi's kids or when he got kicked.
Oh, really?
That mad long ago, bro.
Don't even bring that shit up.
You actually acknowledge it, though.
She's so long ago.
She's older than you.
She's older, but they didn't.
Son, you've been trying to put kids on Genius.
Why you put 11 on Gandhi, baby?
That's crazy.
That's the most disrespectful thing you've ever done.
He got married at 15.
No, you said 13.
Yeah, I said 13 and she was 11.
Hold on, what?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He was 13, she was 14.
And then when do they have kids?
How you put 11 on that man?
Disrespect, bro.
And they was trying to argue.
Where you at, bro?
Who said when do they have kids?
Can you just hire a real Indian to teach you something about that?
Do it, bro.
God damn, bro.
Just hire a motherfucking H. India wouldn't even fact-check me on that because it'd have been like, just let it slide.
Let it slide.
I don't care.
What was a round tomato on her, though, Gina?
Fresh?
Fresh.
Certified fresh.
Damn, bro.
That's crazy.
All this time, I thought he was fucking kids because you put that.
You put that thing.
You really put that.
Yo, 11 is crazy.
He slept with the 13-year-olds and didn't have sex with them, which you refuse to believe.
I hate her.
And then his wife, I guess, was 14.
15.
That's a MILF, bro.
That's like, you know what I mean?
Back in the 15th.
14 and 13.
What's even the difference?
My point still stands.
I was wrong.
I eat that, but the logic stands.
Nah.
I don't know, babe.
How'd you feel about that argument?
He was 18, 19.
His first kid was at.
You don't know shit about Gandhi, bro.
I got all them facts wrong.
We got to do a huge game with this.
We got to do a pop scan, bro.
You know shit about shit.
I got all them facts wrong.
This is bad, bro.
Yeah.
This is bad, bro.
When Andrew was grilling you, how'd you get on this?
Do you think this sincerely?
No, no, no.
Listen, Flagrant Army.
Crazy.
Have you got an Indian in India?
And I mean like a real ass Indian that like learned all this stuff about your country.
I mean this is history at the steak.
No, no, no.
You need a DM.
Why you bring him steak, yo?
DMAS.
And then you need to just be his chai information.
No, what is it?
Information wallet.
Information wallet.
You need to be his information wallet.
I will forget everything you tell me.
No, no, stop with that excuse.
That's an excuse.
Yeah.
You are.
I read his book.
I read his autobiography.
Still got the shit wrong.
You didn't read that.
I did.
You didn't read it.
I read a book, autobiography, and then a biography.
God still fucked it up.
No, you didn't.
Why would I make that?
You need an earpiece, bro.
You got to do a practical joker's Indian style.
You're feeding you info throughout the whole thing.
I bet I could use it.
No, we need to just have a conversation.
Y'all need to have a conversation once a week and just teach him some Indian shit.
What'd you learn growing up?
I forgot, y'all.
What'd you learn growing up, bro?
We just do your school and then we're better at it.
That's what we do.
We do white school.
You say you know more about American shit than me.
I'm not good at history.
Who's good at history?
White people.
That's all y'all are good at.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, really.
Glory days.
That's when we're popping.
Yeah, that's true.
I like the most fucking peaked in high school.
Keep talking about it.
Son, you are really defensive right now.
I'm trying to help you learn some shit about Gandhi's.
I'm not his hole.
Listen, you can't.
You challenge his whole identity.
I'm not challenging his identity.
You put an 11-year-old on Gandhi's dick.
That's true.
You put a 13-year-old on him.
Who did?
You did.
No, I never said nothing.
I never said nothing.
I was going off what you said.
I never said nothing.
You said he fucked 13-year-olds, I'm pretty sure.
I never said that.
I said he fucked 11 after you said 11.
Yeah.
But I never said a thing.
That was his wife.
That's based off the information you told.
He had a kid at 13.
Yeah, he said he got married at 13.
No, he got married.
And then you said he married.
I said he had a kid at 15.
14.
I think I said 15.
He said 13.
Right back to tape.
Whatever, whatever.
The point is.
18.
My point is, my point is: we need an information wallah, and we need you to help our boy Akash become the greatest Indian intellectual in history.
And I promise you, he will remember everything that you tell him.
Yes.
I won't, but I've.
He just never learned it initially.
Now he's going to learn it.
He's going to absorb it because it's in his blood.
It's in his skin.
It's in his brain.
It's in every fucking part of his body.
We're going to create the greatest fucking Indian in history.
Dr. Umar of Indians.
That's it.
You want to be Indian Dr. Umar.
Do some of that red beard dye shit.
Yo, get the red beard.
You can dye that fucking beard with the head up.
You need to get a head up beard.
I'll do that.
I mean that shit.
I'm going to do that.
Honestly.
Now that I'll do it.
Son.
I'm going to forget, but we're going to.
No, no, no.
Don't put that out there.
Don't put that out there.
I'm telling you.
Do not put that out there.
All right.
Fair enough.
You remember.
I'll remember.
You thoughtful ass motherfucker.
You don't forget nobody's birthdays.
You don't forget nobody's important events.
Okay.
I don't know either one of their birthdays.
But you would find out before.
Yep.
Okay.
Okay.
And you will be there.
And yo, I find out before you get it.
Let's not disagree with me.
I appreciate if I'm supposed to be up.
I appreciate that.
I find out before I forget.
Yeah, you acting like a real girl right now.
Yeah, right?
Put a red dot on his motherfucking forehead.
Son, I was about to put a red dot on his forehead.
Ah, gosh.
Oh, gosh.
Akash, you're going to be the greatest, bro.
Okay.
You're going to be drinking Sanskrit.
You're going to be the greatest.
But we need an information walla.
Yeah, I would love that.
Indians, DM me.
I'm going to pick the right one.
DM me.
Arrange it.
I'm going to arrange it.
But also DM him, but also DM me.
DM all of us.
We want the greatest Indian mind in all of India.
I don't want no American motherfucker.
I don't want to learn the Indian shit, the propaganda y'all learn, all that stuff.
That's what I want to do.
Hair Transplant Insecurities00:06:48
I mean that sincerely.
I'm with it.
Let's outsource it.
Let's outsource it.
I love that.
You're going to be Indian, my boy.
All right, Indian.
Let's go.
Riding the subway on top.
You know what I mean?
You're going to be Indian.
Okay.
I'm not playing.
Indian.
All right.
I'm with it.
Let's go.
Let's go.
How are the peptides doing, by the way?
Nothing, bro.
It's not doing anything mentally.
No, I feel nothing.
Fuck.
So he's not selling at all, bro.
I heard it takes a while.
I heard it takes a few months.
I'm waiting for him to.
I got to see results.
I know, right?
Yeah.
Son, me too.
Damn near made Gandhi a rapist one week.
Come on, come on.
I don't know if I can do that.
I'll be out here after one month of peptides saying Braveheart used to fuck English bitches.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
All right, man.
We got this, okay?
I'm with it.
I love this place.
I believe in you.
How have you seen this?
This has been popping up.
This is ab implants for men.
Yo, apparently, this is a $1.3 billion industry.
No, no.
1.3 million men went in for cosmetic surgery.
Now, I'd like to know what percentage of that is Botox because I think that that's, as we predicted, become incredibly popular with men.
Brotox.
Brotox, bro.
Everybody's broken.
100%.
LA and Soho, Nolita.
New York.
Why is that so specific, dude?
Yeah, yeah.
They really narrowed down.
Wait, did I narrow it down to kind of like him?
Yeah.
Am I?
Well, this shit is gone.
But for a minute when I was looking good, I had his dad.
You're too strong, bro.
Bro, you look like you got a hair transplant.
Star going down below.
You got a hair transplant.
All right, hold up, Anyway, I'd like to know what that is.
Yo, it's hard being Waluigi out here, man.
It's hard, bro.
Why don't we?
So, how the hell did they make a Mexican look good?
I think that is lower than that.
Mexicans aren't built to look good in a body like that.
Mexicans, y'all know what the fuck I'm talking about.
You're not built with abs.
So, what's the procedure?
So, that lipo, obviously, and then are they putting something in?
Yeah, I think they're re-injecting fat, like fat transfer, like BBL.
No way, that seems crazy.
I also think they have prosthetic, too.
Yeah, but they accused Liver King of doing that.
Yeah, and uh, his, I think, is yeah, I think his is actual implants, yeah.
Some are actual implants, and I think what they can also do is like uh they tighten on like uh to create contouring, yeah, yeah, there's still hope, bro.
But a lot of dudes put them on this and you put them in some true jeans.
Do we go back into a competition by the way?
Yo, we might need to know.
This is something that I'm really upset about because what Dove Loveham?
No, no, no, like dudes doing this cosmetic shit.
The great thing about being a dude was always that we just needed to get successful.
Yeah, you just we could be fucking fat, we could be ugly, we could be short, we could be anything.
This is dudes doing it for dudes.
Hold on one second, hold on one second.
I want to hear that point.
Let me get out my point that I feel like is shitty now.
Okay.
But one of the great things was that we had access out of the cards that God dealt us.
Yeah, so God dealt us certain cards, but we had access out.
And that was the great thing because women don't, right?
Like, they ugly, they ugly, right?
Now, I know that we can get them on that HRT and we can make them more beautiful.
We got to try that shit.
But you bring up a very interesting point, Alex.
Yeah.
Which is this is men trying to impress other men.
Please elaborate.
So, most women say they're not into all the big muscles, cuts, all that shit.
Most women.
I have a theory on that really quickly.
Like, I've heard women say, like, they're into dad bots.
Well, I think it's an insecurity complex.
I think if the guy is better in better shape than them, they feel insecure a little bit.
And I don't think that they need us to be shredded in order to be turned on.
So, when we are and they're not, and it's much harder for them to be in shape than us, like they naturally store fat because they have to have children with it.
Like, I think it makes them a little bit insecure.
Anyway, go on.
Interesting.
Oh, no, because I just remember like when Zach Efron was all like roided up and shit like that.
And, like, women were like, they're not into that.
I think that far that way.
Like, I saw like a man on the street video type of thing, and it was like four bodies, like, super shreddy bodybuilder.
And then, like, a very fit guy, then dad bot, and then a really out-of-shape person.
Yeah.
Everyone picked the first to be just a really in-shape dude.
They didn't want to be able to get out of the way.
But they want to get it.
A lot of girls were like, they could not handle all of that hyper.
Yeah, I think if the belly's not protruding, but I don't think you need fucking six-pack.
Especially that don't look real.
Who's that?
Whatever, a rapper that went viral.
That's Bandman Kevo, right?
Yeah.
He was just honest about it.
And then people...
I just, I don't know how you know this guy, but must have a lot of people.
Can I be honest, do you know how I know?
One, because he was talking that shit.
He was like, oh, y'all made fun of me for getting my body done.
But now 1.3 million men have just admitted that they went out and did it.
So he basically got his get back.
Also, his titties are mad recognizable.
He got recognizable chests.
Yeah.
Wait, his chest is fake too?
I think the whole thing is done.
Yeah.
But it looks good, though.
That's great.
It looks good.
You got to talk out.
You're built like that.
You built like that a little bit.
I ain't going to lie.
You are built like that.
My chest ain't look that big.
Did you get some out of chest?
Yeah, because I fucking work out, but not like.
Did you get fucking transfer?
That was don't go.
Did you?
Stop.
Did you transfer from your legs?
Maybe.
I did inject.
Yeah.
Fuck.
That's what I need to do.
Can you get someone else's fat putting you?
What's the rules on that?
Like, could you do BBL?
That was a joke I had about the Kardashians that they were using Rob.
Yeah.
That's funny.
He was a source for all their titties and shit.
I don't know.
My concern with this is that we're going to do what women have done.
And women have absolutely destroyed themselves: they've created an unrealistic standard for themselves.
They have the fake eyelashes.
They're wearing fucking heels all the time.
They're wearing spanks to keep their stomach in.
They're doing all these things.
Now, I understand that being good-looking is more valuable for them in the marketplace.
The currency is more valuable than us being good-looking.
Sure.
But my fear is: if we are expected to look like this, now we're going to put ourselves in the same situation they do where they're spending an hour to get fucking ready.
They're going to doctor's appointments all the fucking time.
The great thing about being a dude is we get to focus on our job, have a dad bod, as long as we get to some good money coming in and we could provide more value.
Do you think this is part of like the dating app culture?
If it's just a meat market, like before you could be like charming, hey, hey, don't say do you think.
Dating App Meat Market00:03:30
Stand on that brilliant thing that you just said.
This is the symptom of dating app culture.
Yes.
Yep.
That's what they say.
Why, why?
Because dating apps is just a meat market.
It's a company.
Steve always says.
For no reason, specifically.
He just always happens to bring that up.
But back in the day, it used to be charming.
You could just go up to a girl.
No, you just brought it up.
You could just.
I've gone dates where girls are like, oh, yeah, these terrible dates with these fucking great-looking guys.
You're more charming than you are good-looking.
I mean, but that's really, really charming.
And also, what have I said about you?
What have I said?
That's the perfect compliment.
What if I sounded weird?
What have I said?
What have I always said about Doug?
What have I always said about Doug?
I said, I said Friday.
The most charismatic, charming.
His social IQ is the highest that exists on the planet.
Have I always said that?
10.
Yeah.
11, 12.
Yeah, yeah.
You are more charming than you are good-looking.
Fair.
Take it.
What's his NBA 2K score?
Like, he's 100% out of 100 for charming.
And then where is he at percentage-wise?
Fuck you, everybody.
Where is he at percentage-wise for like looks?
I think he's 150 out of 100 and charming.
Nice.
And I think when you average it with his looks, he's about an 85.
So I think I'm okay.
Get me.
I'm okay for you.
Where are you?
Where are you?
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
I'm like a nine out of ten looks, and then personality brings me back to like a five out of ten.
Like, if I talk to a girl, then we definitely come back out to it.
We really gonna let him go nine out of ten looks right now.
Nobody's gonna be exactly.
Yeah, he's exactly.
I believe that's slap.
Yeah.
He's like, no, you're a pale.
You were nailing on the second part.
Seriously?
Come on, Al.
We're assholes.
No, come on, man.
I tell these girls to, you know, tell me about their dreams and shit.
Nice.
Nice.
You say like that.
What are your dreams and shit, though?
No, I would, honestly, because I don't know how to do the whatever talk.
So I need to know what you want to do.
Yeah, small talk.
So I need to be like, what do you want?
Like, I'm very quick in the conversation.
What do you want to do?
Hey, we just said that.
Hey, great to meet you.
I got a joke you need to get out.
Go, go, get your joke out.
Sorry, you ain't son.
I hate your pants.
Your haircut's ugly.
It's not even a joke.
It was just so funny.
When you were trying to be all sentimental, of like, ah, how you knew this was my wife, it was like the first time I actually wanted to listen to someone.
That was so fun.
That's fast, bro.
That's right.
You really meant it.
No, I meant that shit, bro.
I meant that shit.
I would do it before I didn't want to.
I know.
That's it was broken.
You know, so it was rough, bro.
Yeah, I lucked up.
Yeah, I got out of the first time.
Yeah.
They don't know.
They don't know.
I didn't know I hated it.
Imagine having hundreds of women.
Yo, hundreds?
Hundreds.
Hundreds?
Hundreds.
Actually, maybe some of them I like listening to.
But how do you not know?
They're not here.
They're not here.
No, no, that sounds bad.
Joking, this is jokes, gravity pod.
But there's some that I just didn't like that.
But I was always nice and kind.
Yeah, though.
I knew some didn't want to listen to me.
Yo, ain't that crazy?
They just wanted to get dicked down.
Yo.
Stretched to yo, straight up.
Yo, I'm telling you, there are women that just tolerated me because they're not.
I'm talking 30 seconds.
Now you're sounding like a girl.
You're like, she didn't want to care about my dreams.
She did, bro.
She treated me like a piece of meat.
These girls, they got a sexual appetite that's crazy.
Son.
Objectifying Feet Culture00:08:38
Y'all don't know, bro.
Y'all don't know about it.
But these single girls in New York, son.
You're telling her about your dreams.
I was trying to tell this girl about some shit that happened at a show once, and she just started making out with me in the middle of it.
I bombed twice.
I'm bombed that show, and her bomb trying to tell a story about the show.
Now, my confidence is low.
I can't dick this girl down.
Yeah, but she's trying to suck your tongue.
She's trying to treat you like the Dalai Lama.
And we're back.
Okay.
So, Akai, you brought up, you said women who are into feet.
Yeah, that's disgusting.
If you're not a lesbian.
All right, can I just throw out an idea?
Okay.
All right.
I'm into feet.
Yes.
You into feet?
Yes.
Okay.
People have been critical of me for being into feet.
They think I'm a weirdo.
Okay?
Now, if it wasn't for people like me, we would all be walking on our knuckles still.
You know what I mean?
And millions of years ago, there was a monkey born with feet, and someone like me was like, that's fire.
Y'all fucking hands monkeys.
I'm fucking this foot monkey, bitch.
And then we kept making more monkeys with feet.
And that's why we here.
It is not for me.
You gonna have hands on your feet.
You gonna have hands on your feet.
You wouldn't, because you're a real one.
They need to show.
Now that everybody got feet, they wouldn't be like, oh, it's weird.
You're still into feet.
You're welcome.
You got to move on, though.
You're talking about millions of years ago, bro.
Nah.
Shorties that are into feet, thank you for being part of that.
No, you're still in Jurassic period, bro.
You're in Jurassic period.
You're a Jurassic.
No, you got to come to the field.
You a triceratops.
You got to come to the future, bro.
You got to come to the future, though.
No, fuck you.
You're still in evolution.
Everybody who talks shit, you're welcome.
We evolved you.
Y'all would be eating your fucking toenails.
I do that still.
Listen, you got remnants of the past.
Did you see the Barbie trailer?
Well done.
Yo, you saw the feet in the Barbie trailer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I need to look at that third toe to second toe ratio.
That third toe might be a little longer than that second toe.
Arch is great.
You fucking so weird.
Nah, we're not weird, bro.
We made us humans.
You was the only animal with feet.
A whole trailer, and y'all talking about the feet.
Hold on now.
Hold on now.
Let's let that.
There you go.
I mean, still bring it down.
You see the arch right there?
Look at the arch.
Oh, guys, stop.
Great art.
Okay, I can.
No.
Is this Ronnie Gosselin?
Let's go.
Here's the reason.
Okay, let me just do a little Kenny.
I'm like, the length, is it the length?
Oh, my God.
I'm Kenny.
All right, ready?
So, this is crazy.
We're doing this right now.
Yo, you're crazy.
All due respect.
This is Barbie.
This is a respect.
What's that toe doing right there?
It does seem a bit long.
This one, I think, is coming longer than that one.
But the nails and everything.
You know who else got that?
It's Courtney Kardashian.
Third toe.
Longest.
See, I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm going to say something that nobody has said right there.
I think that's a foot double.
I think it's a, I think that's a foot double.
I think that's a foot double.
I'll say it.
But they're going to get a foot double and then not pick a good foot.
They don't know feet.
They might be fine.
You'd be shocked how much people don't know feet.
You would be.
You'd be shocked.
If you could put a human hand there, you probably fuck it.
I know my foot.
Y'all don't care if we're not.
We're evolved, bro.
We're in the future.
No, y'all are in the future.
You're in the past.
That argument, the logic, foolproof.
Flawless.
He's talking about fucking fish with feet or some shit.
He's all the way in the Jurassic period.
You're not even in the future.
That's another thing.
I like when pussies smell like fish.
No, don't do that.
No.
No.
Where did we evolve from?
Where did we evolve from?
Bro, you got to move on.
Yo, where did we evolve from?
The ocean?
The ocean.
That pussy was fishy back in the day, bro.
It was mostly fish.
It was just fish, bro.
It was fish.
Did we evolve from the ocean?
Say again?
Did we evolve from the ocean?
We started in the ocean.
Started from the bottom now.
No, we did.
We did.
No, we started.
I mean, according to these, you know, atheist biologists.
Yeah.
I don't know shit.
I thought that you're Christian now.
I thought you're Christian now.
Yeah.
I am Christian.
I watched my Sunday service.
Shout out to Renaissance.
That is crazy, though.
Back in the day, like, everyone was animals, and then it just went from bestiality to not that.
Like, there was one guy that was still doing bestiality, and they're like, yo, we're off that.
We're just doing Homo sapien life.
Yo, is he making my argument to me?
But is he actually doing it?
Back in the day.
Is he actually doing?
Did he actually just fucking make the exact argument?
You're on still like, oh, bestiality is kind of cool.
That's basically what you said.
This guy's a goofy, bro.
That's what you said.
You really did say the exact same thing.
I didn't see it at first.
I'm saying it's old.
He just tried to flip it.
I'm saying it's what Christians do.
You have the Jewish version, and they're like, oh, no, this is really wild.
Make it better.
Exactly.
No, no, no, no.
I'm with the Jews now.
Can we wiki feature?
Johnny News.
Oh, are we going to feet checker?
Yeah, I think we should feed it.
I think we did feet check.
I think we did kill him.
I think we didn't feet check.
We know that third toe is on some gumby shit, so we need a foot checker.
Let's see.
Let's see.
This website.
You're not going to get it.
Oh, oh.
Oh, I don't know.
Hold on now.
Hold on.
Let me extend though.
Enhance.
No, no.
Can I say one thing real quick?
Yeah.
I know why they did that thing.
I thought that they did that scene just for the foot fetish people, like myself, which is not a foot fetish, just for the humans that created evolution, like myself.
That's what I thought.
Okay.
That's how Bartby stands, right?
Darcy, my boy.
It makes sense.
You didn't get that.
So how am I supposed to get that when I was double barreled on the shots?
He's a caveman, bro.
Double barreled on the shots.
He's a caveman.
You know what I mean?
How am I supposed to have that?
I really do like feet.
What?
That's crazy.
You like dolls.
What?
What are you thinking about the doll?
That's a foot double, bro.
I think she's second toe.
That's a foot double, bro.
I think we got a foot double.
We got it.
We got it.
We called him out.
We caught him.
Caught him red-handed.
Caught him red-handed.
She don't got no beach pics.
I think she's elusive, bro.
She's like a white whale.
This is Moby Dick, dude.
We're just yo, she'll never take pics on the beach.
This bitch don't like to swim.
It's tough because the second and third there seem like same as a little bit.
So is that a fish?
She's a great foot.
She's a great foot.
She's a lucky.
She's a great foot.
What's your take on a little foot tattoo?
Usually it's for fat girls because that's the only skin that doesn't stretch on their whole bodies.
But that one's small and tasteful.
I don't like a foot tattoo.
Also, also, there's more turnover on the epidermis on your foot.
So it gets blurry.
It's not good.
Bad, bad, bad.
Foot tattoos.
What is that?
Something back in the day.
It's an anchor.
How do you know that?
Because I have eyeballs?
No, you can't really see it.
I zoomed in.
It's an anchor.
Yeah.
You just can't see.
She's Australian.
See?
Come on, Dub.
Don't do that.
No.
The sea?
Yo, it's a foot double, I think.
It's a foot double.
It's a guaranteed foot double.
It's 100% a foot double.
But why would she foot double to a worse foot?
Because she doesn't want to be worse.
She got enough pictures of her feet out there.
I don't care if it's a better foot or a worse foot.
I don't need to be objectified further.
She don't want to be bothered.
She doesn't want to be objectified.
She doesn't want to be bothered.
It's like, you don't need me for this part of the shoe.
I'm good.
But if she was a purist, she would do it.
Yeah.
She'd be like, yo, she understood what we understand.
Son, that third toe.
That's wild.
That third toe is erect.
That third toe is stiffened.
You know in the cartoon when they hammer their thumb and it goes crazy?
That's the third toe.
But still a beautiful foot.
Like, you know, I want to objectify you possibly.
Yeah, hilarious.
But I am a truist about this shit.
You know what I mean?
You're welcome.
You think that's a ballerina or like someone on a sloped green screen?
Nope.
Not even close.
Not even close.
Not a ballerina at all.
Not even close.
I mean, if we really want to get into this, we can get into it.
I come from a dancing family.
Like, if we really want to get into this, I can get into it.
Let's get into it.
A ballerina would never have a foot that beautiful.
A ballerina's foot is absolutely destroyed from years of being on point.
Never would be a ballerina.
I'm sorry.
That's what I'm talking about.
Give me that one right there.
Nope, you're wrong.
Margo Robbie Cousins00:06:18
Wait, which one?
No, back to the theater.
She was on the movie theater right there.
Dirt foot.
Yeah.
I wish I wasn't dirty.
But I think that's part of the character.
Honestly.
It's a foot double.
No, it might be.
It might be.
It might be her.
It's a foot double, dude.
You know why?
Because if it was actually Margo Robbie's foot, they'd have just zoomed out and shown Margo Robbie.
They wouldn't have just shown feet.
Because they know.
You know what I mean?
Give the people what they want.
Good luck.
Okay, good point.
Good point.
Okay, what else we got?
I feel like we peaked, frankly.
Yeah, we were peaking at a lot of things.
All right, do we have any other thing before we get out of here?
I mean, we could talk about Taylor Swift.
We could talk about.
I mean, there's nothing really like fun.
Fun, silly, goof.
Look.
All right, stop.
Collaborate.
Listen.
I s back with a brand new invention, something.
That's holding me tight.
You want to just bow out?
Yo, we could bow out, but here's the thing.
How long are we at?
220.
Would you smash Margo Robbie if she was your cousin?
I mean, that's easier for Al and me because we would just, she'd be adopted.
But like, no, no, First cousin?
First cousin?
First blood cousin.
To get on to back in the day, that was normal.
Huh?
That was normal back in the day.
Cousin fucking is just normal.
I agree with you.
Now, Rami has a great joke about that, actually.
He does.
Yeah.
But I'm curious about this with Margo Robbie because.
That was far back in the day when it was this normal.
90s?
About mid-90s.
About what time when I was born, I think.
So I'm curious because Margo Robbie is someone's cousin.
And they have to act like they have to do the whole thing.
Well, my cousin, dude.
Yeah.
I've noticed since I was kid.
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, Margot.
Or whatever her name is.
You know, what is that?
Her stupid accent?
No.
No.
I never suck at dogs.
No.
Put a dog in my mouth.
No.
Crazy.
We, Maggie.
Whatever.
What is it?
What is it?
Iranian or Scottish.
I don't know why.
I don't know how to do Australia.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, I can't do that.
It's me, cousin.
Yeah.
You hold that.
Anyway, so that person has to act like he wouldn't smash, but he would.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But we wouldn't fuck our cousins.
No.
Nope.
Because they're ugly.
That's the thing that's the thing is.
That's the thing.
My cousin's not Margo Robbie.
No, no, no.
That's the thing that we have to acknowledge: there's a hotness level.
Yeah, they're not ugly, but there's a hotness where it's like, yo, yo, you called Gandhi an 11-year-old fucker.
You can't just say your cousins is dog shit ugly.
Cousins are rotten tomato, bro.
Yo, Mazlax, my cousin, yo.
Yo, different one.
Not that one, not that one.
Different one.
That one ain't even related to you.
Yeah, it's not even a real cousin.
No, that dude, he could get it.
The dude.
And that, there you go.
Dude is hot.
Yeah.
So gay incest ain't even that bad.
You can't really, yeah, there's no cost.
That's a great point, Fax.
Okay.
I don't think gay incest should be illegal.
Illegal.
Male to female, yeah.
And then girl is illegal.
You can understand why people think it should be illegal, though, right?
Because a cousin.
Yeah, we just made gay legal like 2006.
Yeah, you can't hopping into this magic.
You're right.
You're right about that.
No, no, I agree with you on that one.
But I do think we just don't have beautiful enough cousins where it makes sense, which hurts your heart to say.
But you all have seven.
So weird.
God damn it.
You either go, my cousins are fine, right?
You either say, yo, my cousins are hot.
Yeah.
Or, and I would, you know what I mean?
But even if they're hot, they're not Margo Robbie.
But what I'm saying is there's a level.
We acknowledged before there's a level where we would smash.
And then we go, Will we smash our cousins?
So we're saying we don't have super hot cousins.
That's what we're all saying right now.
Right?
Sorry.
Sorry, Schultz's.
Do you know what I mean?
But I know.
Can we talk about like third and fourth cousins now?
Now, now, Alex.
Yeah, Alex.
You think I'm going to let my dad's sister's cousin get in the way of this pussy?
Alex, come on.
What is his second cousin?
I don't even know, but all I know is that at my grandmother's funeral flow of seats to the nest.
I'm showing up flying.
This was a good what, maybe 10, 15 years ago.
That was just one that came.
Talk that shit.
None of us have ever met her.
Talk.
Somehow she was related to us.
Shit.
All the cousins was like, yo, who is it?
Thirsty.
Thirsty.
Talking about, yo, we hoping drinks happen.
Yo, she was that bad.
She wasn't, bro.
She thought she was that bad.
What's wrong with that?
Just bracey's like a bad thing.
That kind of looks like her mom, and you and your uncle got the same tastes.
Let's just do it mad uncles away.
Yeah, oh, you think she was second or third?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At that point, okay.
That's a stranger.
That's a strange.
I found some data, by the way.
Okay.
Children of first cousin unions have an increased risk of genetic disorders.
Do you want to know what percentage?
Two to three percent.
Nothing.
That's nothing.
Two to three percent.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
That's negligible.
In some parts of the world, 20 to 60 percent of all marriages are between close biological relatives.