Noel Miller reveals his ethnicity on Flagrant, detailing his transition from a rejected coder to a Vine star with over 100,000 followers before launching Tiny Meat Gang. He discusses the anxiety of releasing a stand-up special versus maintaining podcast dominance, contrasting live crowd reactions with online personas. The conversation expands to high-stakes racing, where Miller navigates the $500,000 cost of Formula 3 against cheaper carting, while reflecting on physical injuries and the complexities of white privilege during police stops. Ultimately, the episode blends personal history with industry critiques, highlighting the financial and physical tolls of modern entertainment and motorsports. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Tiny Meat Gang Creator Noel00:05:54
What's up everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
Today we are joined by a man who's gonna make history.
He has never before this day said what his ethnicity is.
He has come on flagrant to share it with the whole world.
We have Tiny Meat Gang's Creator.
Did you know that?
I was trying to get out.
The founder, the creator, the business mind behind this.
Here we go.
Here we go.
We got Noel in Mattel.
All right, yo.
Say it.
Say it.
Tell the people you're white, bro.
This whole fucking time you've been lying, man.
You would think.
You would think I was dodging all the, you know, racial privilege this whole time.
I don't figure it out, man.
Okay.
Listen.
You know what's fucked up?
This is so this.
I just love that I come to New York and the first thing I'm recording is like, we're going to be racist to you.
No, no, no, no.
We are trying to let you expose yourself.
Yeah, what's racist about this?
There's nothing racist.
You want me to guess your race?
That could get racist.
I think you're so afraid of racism, you don't say you're a race.
Oh, you don't want to get the racial jokes.
No.
They're not that bad, dude.
No, I've gotten them all.
But it's because we don't know what you are.
So we're just kind of scattershooting.
Oh, that's fine.
Once you know.
No, they're going to get targeted once you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'd just think you already are, dude.
Oh, they're really good?
No.
Like, they're just like, it's a lot of people from the Midwest that have never encountered anything.
So they just assume that I'm black.
So I get...
Yeah, yeah.
They think you're black.
Bro, I get it.
I wasn't going black.
Al, did you say black?
I thought a little mixed.
No, I did not.
Really?
Well, I get a lot of messages that are like, he kind of looks like Jesse Williams, I think.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
He's half.
He's half black, half white.
You get that a lot?
Yeah.
It's the eyes.
Yeah.
What a compliment to get.
You got some eyes.
I know, right?
Hold on one second.
You think Noel looks like a black man?
I think he's a little mixed.
I think it's like a little black, a little Asian.
Are you thinking he's Asian?
I'm the hottest black man at that.
I mean, this guy's on a horse.
I don't say he looked as good as him.
When people say this, I'm like...
Yeah, I just let him think.
I'm like, you ain't never been outside.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, I never thought black.
I thought...
That's because you know how tall I am.
That's what I know.
No, no.
No, no.
I actually thought you were taller.
When we met, I thought you were taller.
Oh, yes.
Hell yeah.
I thought Filipino.
That's what I think.
But dude, you know what's fucked up?
This is what's fucked up about it.
When we heard about you guys, because you guys have this massive Patreon, and I started to look into your content, and the tiny meat gang, as hacky as this is, informed my idea of both of you.
I thought that Cody was Asian too.
Okay.
No, no, no.
It's hacked.
It's so hacky.
It's so hacky.
Now it's racial.
Now it's racial.
It's so hacky, but I swear to God, I thought the thing was nobody knows what both of you are.
Okay.
But you had tiny meat gangs, so I thought it was like an inside fucking joke.
I swear to God.
And then now.
Cody's Chinese, bro.
No, I think he looks more Asian than you.
No, he looks Asian.
Super white.
He's more Asian than you.
Cody, Cody looked like a little Virginia to me.
He might be out there with a tiki torch.
Cody's white.
Throw him off.
But if you really see him, throw him off.
But I think that kid is fucking more Asian than you, dude.
You could be...
Notice I didn't go with a hard Asian.
I went Filipino.
He's Filipino.
Half white, half Filipino.
I think Filipino because of your name.
Noel, it's like so Christian.
It's like there's got to be some Latin influence there.
Yeah, exactly.
But you look Asian.
Noel is like the Hayes.
He boxed.
You know what I mean?
He said you could feel it.
When he came in here, he said he boxed.
He was like some rats.
Are you good at boxing?
He says, no, I just like fighting.
I was like, he might be Mexican, bro.
He's impossible.
I know, Are you Asian at all?
Listen, man, this is a great set.
I like what you're doing here.
Oh.
He built it.
He's Mexican.
Yeah, he's Mexico.
He's Mexican.
You're good at building things.
The contractor did this.
Whoa, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
He's got Mexican facial hair.
That's true.
Nah, that's Asian facial hair.
Yeah, he's Filipino.
I'm convinced he's Filipino.
You know what's funny though?
I thought you were Cody Ko because that just sounded like a more Asian name.
I don't think Cody has any idea that Vietnamese people have Ko because the last name.
It doesn't make any sense, bro.
Dude, is that crazy?
Maybe you're Mexican.
He's Asian.
So he's tiny meat.
You're gang.
Like, basically.
Okay, now come on, tell us, bro.
What is it?
Listen, man.
I hate this fucking guy.
You might have said it.
Oh, you said a lot, though.
You hit every category.
I'll tell you after, but I just think it's fun to like never.
Bro, you literally said before recording, you're like, I'll just say where my family's from.
I know, I said people don't know where my family's from.
You're Canadian.
Yeah, I was born in Toronto.
So then I don't think they got Mexicans in Canada.
So I think it's Filipino.
Or like Vietnamese or some shit like that.
Filipinos.
They're all by some whites for them pretty ass eyes.
Yeah.
Ooh, Vietnamese.
I got the colonizer eyes is what you're saying.
You do, dude.
But admit, that's clout in your culture.
Yeah.
Because you guys took it and then you flipped it.
It's like, that's like Asian's N-word.
You took it and then you made it more valuable.
Yeah.
Dude.
Okay.
Yeah, definitely light eyes in my culture.
Is really like I'm the chosen one.
When you were born, your mom was a lot also doesn't narrow down much.
That's a lot of cultures.
Akash too.
Akash got pretty much.
This is culture.
Yes.
Same.
Yeah.
So, you know, you're not narrowed down.
But you know, I also think he's Asian because he knew Ko is Vietnamese.
Colonizer Eyes and Cultural Clout00:13:10
You don't know that if you're not in.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
This guy's in.
Definitely no black.
Stop trying to make black happen.
I'm trying to, you know, look, you know, can you say it?
Can you say the word?
Not comfortably.
Not black, not flat.
Not comfortably.
It's really funny.
Not gun your head.
You can maybe squeak it out, but if it was a gun to my head, I think I'm saying a lot.
You know, that's a very specific context, right?
Yeah, it depends just holding the gun.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, life or death.
Yeah.
I mean, life or death, anyone's saying it.
Life or death, you're saying it.
I mean, if they're prompting me, I don't think I'm going to be.
That's all I'm saying.
Oh, okay.
No, no, no.
That's just like funny.
I'm like, ah, I got to get it out once.
The people need to hear it one time.
Like the Patrice bit where a gun to your head, you got to spell restaurant.
Yeah.
Gun to your head, you got to say the analog.
Yeah, You can squeak it out.
Yeah, I think anyone's folding.
Yeah, yeah, they probably would fold, I guess.
Okay, so we're really not going to get to the bottom of this.
I mean, we're going to get to the bottom of this.
I think we got it.
Yeah, you may have.
I will put money up that we're right.
We didn't say it yet.
So you don't need to fucking write it.
Here's what's funny.
Here's what's funny.
Some people know, and it's just like between me and them, it's this fun little bit.
It's like the people that are that know.
And so we all just know together.
And then everyone else is confused.
Hmm.
I swear to God, you told me before we started recording you were going to say where you're from.
So too.
And now I'm like a little annoyed because I'm like, what the fuck is happening right now?
He's doing the bit.
He's doing the bit.
This is the bit.
So this is the bit.
Yeah.
And you've just been doing this.
Yeah, it's just, it's just funny.
Buddy, you're right.
Is that fucking you do the podcast with?
Does he see what you are or what?
He may have known and then he probably forgot.
I don't know if Cody remembers.
Cody, if you remember, let me know.
Why would your podcast co-host just forget who you are?
Man, when you hang out long enough, you see his memory.
He got like Labrador memory.
Same.
Really?
Why co-host?
Yeah.
The white podcast don't have good memories.
Do you have any memories?
I got decent memories.
So you're mixed.
I got good memory.
No, you don't.
I remember where we met.
You forgot.
You thought it was Vegas.
Yeah, no, you said Vegas.
You thought it was New York.
At least I was closest to you.
Yeah, okay.
And then I had Anaheim.
Why were you in Anaheim?
Why was I in Anaheim?
Big Filipino population in LA.
Big?
Taking my family to Disneyland, fool.
No, he's not Mexican.
No, no, no.
He went for it, but that's not Mexican, dude.
We're narrowing that shit down.
He is Filipino.
I'm telling you, your hunch was correct.
This is a fact.
I will put money on this.
Also, when you stood up and you had that fucking bubble, that was crazy.
I've seen an Asian with an ass like that.
His shit was crazy.
Dude, I had to make a comment about it, bro.
It was packed in.
You super.
He stood up.
You went, damn.
I did.
No, I really thought that you were packing, bro.
The fact that Alex is knowing that he's thinking that I got a Filipino ass is not helping me here.
Wait, why, why, why, why?
Sometimes they got some ass.
Four Asians, you're judging them on an Asian scale.
Asian scale, that's because they're the best ass.
Black people fuck with Filipinos, at least in my life.
Yeah, we do.
In your family.
How he knows that.
Hold on.
In my whole family person.
In my lifetime.
In your lifetime.
What do you mean?
What do you mean in your lifetime?
Are you talking about, I mean, listen, you're obviously a married man, but like in the day.
Way back in the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Way back in the day.
When you were a youngster, right?
As a black man, I was a black man.
Yeah, I was going around with Filipino girls.
So you were looking for the Phillips.
Yeah.
That's the rice cake.
You call them the Phillips?
You call them the rice cakes, bro.
That's what he said.
God, that sounded fucking racist and fun.
Smashing a race cake.
It was racist and fun.
But it was racist and fun.
It wasn't too racist.
It was racial.
It was RNF.
It was.
It was racist and fun.
I mean, bro, you do have some, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want to make them sticky rice cakes?
No, bro, bro.
I thought I left Hollywood.
What's going on here?
What's happening?
What do you make it in New York, bro?
Yeah, you just dead ass.
Give us that butt up, bro.
Listen, listen.
Because it was right.
Oh, but Filipino rice is trash.
We all know that.
All the Asians know that.
I wouldn't know.
Or would I?
Yeah, we on to him.
We onto him.
Yo, Filipino food sucks, bro.
Yo, thank you, dog.
It's not all trash.
I ate at a Filipino restaurant one time with the main course.
They just brought out like fucking ketchup.
And I was like, what the?
Who?
Yeah.
Ketchup is not a main food.
Don't you think Filipino food sucks?
Look, man, like I said, great set.
I like the lighting here.
Do you like the lighting?
Yo, can you hit us with some Filipino lighting real quick?
Yeah, what's that look like?
This is a tough decision for Miles.
Yeah, Miles.
He just went yellow.
You saw that?
Miles.
Oh!
He's like, you know, I went blue for the flag.
Bro, how would you know what the fucking Filipino flag is?
Bro, you know what hell of the family?
He definitely ain't black.
Black people don't know this much about other cultures ever.
You know that.
That's a good ass point.
That's a good ass post.
The Asian.
That's a good ass point.
Al, what color is the Filipino flag?
He just said I still don't know.
Short memory.
Fucking fucking post, bro.
That's right.
What was the problem?
You're a mix.
Oh, he is.
He's white and blue.
Hold on.
Filipino flag is red, white, and blue.
You gotta put in black.
He could be mixed.
He could be Filipino.
White.
I don't buy black.
Do that sunset one.
Do that sunset one.
Damn, you about to just fucking tan me real quick and see how quick it happens.
I need to see how comfy you get when we hit you with that like nice little like red orange one.
That manila sunset.
Ooh.
Something nice about that, bro.
What's up with your boy Manny Pacifico?
Now it's my boy.
Wow.
Wow.
He's ready.
Hold on.
What?
Has anybody ever asked you that before?
Manny Pacquiao?
Like, what's up with him?
Punk?
No, he's good.
He's good.
He's good.
He's good, man.
He's good.
Now, you were training Saul Poppy for his last fight.
I was, yeah.
Because he was living with you.
What was the deal?
He was living with you guys?
Yeah.
Well, you know, him and our grandma and our 10 cousins.
It's a lot of cousins, huh?
You guys are like potent.
What do you mean?
Like, you can make a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're Mexican in themselves.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they can make a lot.
Just as I've observed.
Wait, those people?
Yeah, them.
Wow, that's weird that you would talk about them like that.
I know.
It's weird that you would take such a racial standpoint on a group of people that you might identify with.
He's really uncomfortable right now.
Look at his hands.
I know what to do.
Go with this.
Just see what that looks like.
Because if it looks trash, I can tell right away.
If someone was going to fight you immediately, what stance would you jump into?
Dude, he's a boxer.
Nonetheless, don't answer that fucking question for him.
We're interrogating him.
I'm going to pivot and start to run away because I know they're just going to get hypnotized by my ass.
Oh, bro.
You do have an ass like a sheep.
Yeah, yeah.
Yo, bring it up.
You'd be like, bro.
Hey, come back.
Bro, where are you going?
I need it.
You know, that's typically what happens.
Do you have jealousy issues in your relationship with your ass?
Nah.
Never?
Nah, nah, nah.
Never once.
Nah.
Bro, you ever seen sheep ass before?
No, bro.
This is you.
When you stood up, man.
Look at that.
Look at that.
That's me right there.
Yeah, nah, you stacked.
Look at this one right here when he's going through it.
Look at my man going through it, bro.
Why are you not clicking that video?
Stop hating.
Is that Culture Cloud?
No, up one.
Dude, top left.
Boom.
This one's awesome.
Look at the peanut sheep right there.
Ouch.
Filipino.
That one's from Cebu.
That one's from Manila.
I mean, that one right there.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Anyway, do you eat those eggs that aren't fully cooked?
Nah, hell no, bro.
Oh, he's Filipino, bro.
But you knew about it.
He knew it.
He knew it.
Or that could have been from my chasing days, you know?
You don't know.
Oh, shit.
You could take a nice little Filipino girl at Toronto out for some uncooked embryos.
Yeah.
That's an aphrodisiac, they say.
Yeah.
It is, right?
Yeah.
Maybe that's why they're so fertile.
They're just drinking the embryos.
Yeah, you're just drinking embryo fluid.
That's a good ass point.
Okay, we're on it.
Listen.
Now I'm done with your athleticity.
It's under your skin, just slightly.
You told me before, son.
Yeah, why don't you claim your people, bro?
That's fucked up.
Don't let the white man strip you of your identity, bro.
Cody don't want you to be Filipino.
What does he want me to be?
Cracker?
Salty cracker from Canada?
That's what he wants, bro.
Don't let that shit happen.
Yeah, man.
You're a beautiful Filipino man.
Thank you, dude.
With a fat ass.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And you should embrace that.
Thank you.
For real.
Thank you.
Don't think about it.
Yo, just think about it, man.
Don't think about it too long.
No.
Don't think about it too long.
Why?
Because, man, I didn't have an answer for it.
Listen.
But listen, Larson Pippin.
So yo, Larson Pippen.
I didn't know that.
Not Filipino, but very fertile.
Oh, got it.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
I want to bring this up because we're all married men in here except Alex.
Step up.
And the thing is this.
Larsa Pippen claimed that Scotty Pippen would have sex with her three to four times a night for 23 years.
Saw that.
Okay.
Now, I see this clip going around.
She's dead ass serious when she says it.
Shannon Sharp had a funny tweet.
He was like, yo, that's why Scotty had them back problems, bro.
You can't be here.
But I thought about this.
Scotty Pippen comes from a massive family, like one of what?
Somebody look this up.
12 or 13 or something.
Somebody.
Hey, somebody.
You got that?
Who could it be?
Yeah, you were Miles.
I wonder if, everybody's saying that she was just capping.
It was some clout shit.
I wonder if there's truth to that.
You're coming from one of 13.
He has 11 older siblings.
So one of 12.
Oh, that's older.
He might have younger.
I don't know if he's the oldest.
Let me find out.
That's crazy.
So you're one of at least 12.
There's the dog in the family.
Yeah.
So, wait, what are you laughing at, Miles?
It's just dog in the family is funny.
Anyway, I thought it was about the Filipino going, yeah.
That's racism.
Yeah, that's a preemptive race.
Racism is funny.
Because they eat animals, right?
My man eats a dog.
I'll look at him.
I'll look it up.
I would eat dog.
I don't see what the big deal about that is.
No, come on.
Bread dogs are adorable.
You can't eat a dog.
You can't say that in America, bro.
Yeah, you can't.
Nah.
But in other countries, they get that.
Yeah.
Where food is less plentiful.
What a luxury to just pick and choose, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't eat that.
Yeah.
But then you go to certain parts of the world, they're eating jellyfish and shit like that.
Chicken feet.
Yeah.
Don't we eat chicken feet?
In the South, it's more common.
Anyway, so this, what's it called shit?
At first, I thought it was like some diabolical move by Jordan to make sure that Pippin could never like overtake him as like the dominant one in the league because Pippen had all the physical gifts.
You're a little younger than me, but like Pippin, if you just looked at the way that he played and what he could accomplish, he could have been better than Jordan.
But maybe Jordan was in his wife's ear, like, yo, weaken that motherfucker on some like blood sport shit.
Remember Blood Sport?
Remember when Shorty sucked off Van Dam before the fight?
And then he just didn't have the juice?
I was thinking, I was like, okay, maybe that's Jordan, right?
And then like his, his fully formed diabolical plan to ruin this person who was his greatest competitor is to have his son smash her out.
Oh, right?
That's crazy.
I think it's valid.
You think he was like paying her to be like, yo, fuck him more?
Well, I don't know if there was some compensation going.
I mean, like, he's a mastermind.
So, you know, like he could maybe convince her.
He could have charmed her into it?
Of course.
Whoa, that's crazy.
I mean, if Scotty Pippen managed to charm her.
I think Michael Jordan could do it.
I think she's charmable.
I don't think.
Hey, man, leave Pippin alone, man.
Are you a big Pippin fan?
No, no, no.
No, you don't fuck with Pippin?
I don't know.
Why don't you fuck with him, bro?
I'm polarizing the shit out of him.
Shorty's Son and Blood Sport Plans00:07:11
There's binaries out here.
Yeah, yeah, clearly.
Yeah.
No, I fuck with Pippin.
But also, if you do the math, 23 years, that means they hooked up like 97, 98, something like that.
Let's assume they got divorced a few years ago.
So he was already having the back problems and the migraines and the big games.
Jordan was already kind of done with him.
I think Pippin was just a coose hound.
Yeah.
I also don't believe four times a night and you cheated on her.
Who trying to have sex a fifth time?
Yeah, that's crazy.
Maybe Pippin?
Nobody, dog.
Oh, he was cheating too.
Allegedly.
What is that sex drive like?
Can you imagine having that?
Yeah.
Like needing to fuck, like, yo, Duval tells me every morning he busts a nut.
And I'm like, for what?
But I'm just saying, sex changes.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got kids, right?
Hell no, bro.
Come on, bro.
Nah, you doing them?
I'm trying to have some kids, man.
You're trying.
I'm trying to have some kids.
What is it?
You're trying?
Yeah, I'm busting it up.
You know what I mean?
Don't you tell her after you're nuts, you're like, ah!
We did it, baby.
Damn.
You've been with your girl for a decade, bro.
We don't know, man.
You don't know.
You mean you don't know?
Like, we, we.
You can put your foot up there.
It's all right, polite ass Asian.
Yeah.
That's how I know you're an Asian, bro.
You almost took his shoes off.
He took his shoes off when he walked in the studio.
There's little tails of him.
I'm sensitive about the Asian jokes.
I'm telling you, I know that.
No, I'm not sensitive.
That was defensive.
There you go.
You still don't even feel.
Nah, go ahead, light him up.
Light him up.
Yo, what?
What kind of car do you drive?
This motherfucker got lowered Civic 100%.
100%.
Are they still doing that?
Yes.
Shout out to L.A. for sure.
Yeah, they are.
Nah, but can you tell me about kids, bro?
Why are you not trying to have some kids?
From Kumon and shit like that.
You know what I mean?
Get their SAT scores up.
West Kumon.
That's where every Asian is like a lot of people.
Yeah, that's like a Korean tutor.
That's an insane tutoring place.
Have you ever seen this?
We went to the Jewish one, Kaplan.
Oh, it's all I know about it.
Indians be teaching.
I don't even think they let non-Asians in the Asian one in New York.
Asians had like a Saturday one.
It was like Saturday school, but for learning.
This is what's crazy, bro.
This is the logo for Kumon.
If you're a little kid that wants to get some tutoring, that's the place you walk into with that sad little face like, oh, fucking idiot.
Yeah, no, you're going to study.
That's why you're going to study until it hurts.
Yeah, that's your mom's face, and you got to be.
That's why you're at Kumon, bro.
It's insane that that is the logo.
Every time I drop that for you.
When I was broke before Patreon, why do you be a tutor at Kumon?
No, I got rejected.
Damn, bro.
They said, I think they looked at my tweets or something because I had a phone interview, which is one of the sadder moments in my life as a 34-year-old man having a phone interview to be a Kumon tutor.
And then they loved me.
And I was like, all right, at least I got something, fucking $14 an hour or whatever.
And then when I got rejected, that shit, I will never forget being like, I can't tutor some fucking Chinese kids to get their SAT scores up.
What a low in my life, dude.
Damn, dude.
Damn.
That's wild.
They called you up and they were like, hey.
You got rejected?
I got rejected.
Teach it.
What was it?
Math or the other one?
It was math.
But you teach, I guess you could teach whatever because I didn't go to Kuman because, you know, my parents were fucking up.
But all Indians will send their kids there to even teach just like as a job.
That's the job you can get that doesn't upset your Indian parents.
Because everything else, they're like, yo, just study.
Don't work at fucking.
I worked at Target and my parents are like, why?
Just study?
What are you doing?
But Kuman is like, oh, you're teaching kids.
You're learning.
It's academic.
This is all true, right?
For you guys.
You wouldn't know.
Might be.
You wouldn't know.
Would you put your kids in Kuman or Kaplan?
You notice he laughed when I said Kumon, though.
Is your girl, is your girl known in the world?
I don't want to.
Yeah, yeah.
No, she is.
Okay.
And is she Caucasian?
No.
What is she?
Akash can get real upset.
Baby, baby!
No, not for those reasons.
Oh, fuck.
What is it?
Shpakistani.
Let's fucking go, bro.
You don't care about that.
I figured off the first name, Muslim.
Alina is more of a Muslim name.
And I'm saying it because she's in videos and stuff like that.
Damn, is this the police?
You guys are like, yo, we out here researching immigration.
We're like fucking ice, bro.
Okay, so Pakistani.
Was that tough for her parents?
Nah.
Because they tend to be more, like, Indians are pretty easy to marry your own, but Pakistani.
They don't even know who he is.
What he is yet.
Yeah.
Damn sure.
I think maybe her grandma's like still holding out hope.
That you are a Pakistani.
Yeah, just like 3%.
Oh, that's why he doesn't say it.
Maybe.
Get me out of here.
Dude, you're breaking.
Pakistani, they're going to rescind my ring, dog.
They're going to come take it from me.
Son, you're breaking their heart because not only are you not Pakistani, but y'all might not even have kids and all they want is grandbabies.
You're just like the worst thing that ever happened to her parents.
But you will have kids for the fifth time.
Like we wanted to, and then we have our nephew who's great.
And then we like, we kind of observe what it means to be a parent.
And then we just kind of like, damn, that's a lot.
It is a lot.
You think no way you're not going to do it.
We probably will, but at this particular moment, we're both like, fuck.
Because it's too much work.
It's a lot of work.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One seems doable.
One seems light work.
I think you can do it, man.
Did you have a good relationship with your folks?
No.
So that's where it comes from, maybe.
Are you worried that you're going to fuck yourself?
I used to worry about that.
Yeah.
But not so much anymore.
I think I've afforded enough therapy.
I think I could, I could, I could do well, I think.
You had to heal a little bit.
A little bit, yeah.
Wait, what happened with your folks?
This is interesting.
Oh, me and my dad were great.
My mom's not.
Tiger mom.
Yo, moms be wilding sometimes.
Moms are wild.
Mine too, man.
What's up with that?
Yeah, you know.
You know, maybe, maybe one day we'll reconnect.
But right now, it's just not.
It's not there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've reconnected with my mom, but it was rough for a minute.
Yeah.
But you get a little older, you realize that sometimes you're a wild boy.
Yeah.
Might be you a little too.
I know it's hard.
Yeah.
When I was 33, I was like, it was her.
Yeah, but in his defense, your wildness is much more obvious.
You being tough to deal with is much more obvious.
How about this much?
We don't know, but yours is much more on the surface.
So enough people are going to be like, yo, you're fucking crazy that you're going to be like, yo, maybe I'm crazy.
Him, he seems so put together.
He might be crazy underneath, but people aren't just telling him, yo, bro, you're fucking tough to deal with.
Yeah, but he don't answer no fucking questions.
He's just dodgy.
That's all.
Yeah, dodgy would annoy you.
Yeah, his mom knows what.
He talks to someone, and then you ask him questions.
He don't even fucking answer.
You want applesauce?
He's like, maybe I don't want applesauce.
Nah, that'd be driving me fucking crazy.
Okay, so are mom and dad still together?
Wildness vs Put Together Comedians00:07:47
Nah.
They're divorced.
Is mom in Canada still?
Nah.
Where'd she go?
They both live in LA.
Oh, they came to L.A.?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Were you raised in LA?
In like a mountain suburb of L.A. Eagle Rock.
Tell me that shit is Eagle Rock.
No, no, no, no.
That's the east side, though.
No.
No, it was like the city I moved to, when we moved there, it was all like two-lane roads.
Now, it's a much more developed town, but it was like, it was like kind of small.
So, yeah, it was like a lot of Mexican people there.
Koreans eventually came.
Strike off Mexican immediately.
Yeah.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
Listen, you said when you were in here first, you said you were like, yo, is everybody here just debating nine o'clock in the morning?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's an anger.
There's like a pulse in the city here.
You think it's a little bit too easy in LA sometimes?
Yeah, all the time.
All the time.
Yeah.
Would you ever consider taking your wife and moving her to New York?
I've already talked about it.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is the appeal?
Okay.
What's your reasoning?
I don't know.
I just think, well, one, there's a lot of stand-up out here.
Yeah, for sure.
And they tape your sets too, so you can probably put some of those on there.
Yeah, you should put some stand-up online.
You should try to get some stand-up online.
Yeah, I probably should try to get some.
You're the only touring comedian that has no stand-up online.
I know.
It's shocking.
Thanks, dude.
Yeah.
The faith that the audience has in you to come out to your show.
It's really funny, like, reading some of the comments, being like, is this dude even funny?
Like, what does he do?
Yeah, like other people think that I just get up there and like have a monitor and I'm just like reacting to videos.
Yeah.
And then actually, it's kind of worked against me in some context because I think people come there thinking it's going to be something in the vein of YouTube.
Because that's the only thing that they know you for.
And then they see you doing actual jokes with punchlines.
Yeah.
So they're like, wait, what the fuck is this?
Show the video of the guy eating a weird thing.
Show the mukbang and then react to that shit.
Yeah, man.
But that's on you for not putting it out.
No, but I think it's fun.
Do you ever got to like coach the audiences and like stand-up audiences?
A little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's that's why Zayad's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
An opener who's shouts to Zaduji.
Yeah.
He's the guy who sets a tone for the show.
Is there ever a part of you?
Because I've actually seen some of your stand-up and it surprised me because my perception was I was like, oh, because again, you have nothing out there.
Yeah.
But I saw some stand-up and I and I go, oh, shit is jokes.
Yeah.
Because what I thought was that you were somebody that got tons of success online and then kind of converted it into a stage show, which a lot of people do because it's a great way to like monetize, et cetera.
But you know, as a stand-up, because you actually are a stand-up, like a lot of stand-ups hate that shit.
Yeah.
And they're just jealous.
They wish that they could also do the theater.
And then I saw you actually had like jokes.
Yeah, like punchline.
I was like, oh no, he actually does stand-up.
Yeah, I did stand up for like, uh, it's like about three years before everything.
So before you started all this other stuff.
Yeah.
And then you've continued to do stand-up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I basically, so I was that, and then I gave in to the idea that the internet was, because at LA, you can't, you can't get time like how you would out here.
Yeah.
And the guy who like broke me into stand-up, he was like, you got to go to New York, bro.
You have to go.
I always got told.
I started in LA as well.
Yeah.
16 years ago or something like that.
Yeah.
And but I knew that wasn't possible because I made a lot of dumbass decisions.
So I wasn't just broke.
Like I actually, I like defaulted on like two or three credit cards and it was like, like my line was getting hit.
Like we need, we want this money now.
Yeah.
So I just had to like kind of work with what I had.
What dumbass decisions?
Dude, I'll get into that in a second.
But all right.
Yeah, I guess it's like relevant.
But basically, I had this like period where I just told myself like, okay, I'm going to start a production company.
Like I just woke up and I'm like, I'm just going to do this.
And I kind of had motivation there because me and some friends, we like entered some film competitions and we won some money.
So I thought, okay, we're decent at this.
But I never thought about like, bro, you got to like build the business, get clients, like all that.
So I went ran up a bunch of cars, bought a bunch of gear, and I'm like, all right, we're ready to do this.
And then there's like no money coming in the door.
And then I just started like just generally fucking up because now I like owe money and I'm like, you know, it's just starting to be like ants like crawling over you.
So it got to a point where I was working these bullshit ass jobs.
And in the process of trying to start the production company, I was like teaching myself how to write code because I just want to build this a website.
And my girl actually said, yeah, I've talked to some of the developers here at my job.
And I feel like, no disrespect, but I feel like you're smarter than them.
I feel like you can figure this out.
So I called up a recruiter and I was like, hey, I want to write code like for work.
And he goes, all right.
So he like finds me a gig and I do a code test.
I bombed it.
But the people there were like, ah, this dude seems willing to learn.
And so they kind of took me in.
And actually, in that process, is what got me into stand-up because the guy who broke me to stand-up, his name's Andre Paradise.
He came in to do like work and he saw the way I like talk shit in the break room and stuff.
And he goes, Yeah, he's like older black comic.
So he's like, Hey, bro, you got the chat.
You ever thought about doing stand-up?
And I say, oh, yeah, I've thought about it, but I've never like, you know.
So he's like, all right, why don't you come see me do a show?
Like in a few weeks, I say, okay.
I go to the show.
It's an open mic.
It's his boy's open mic.
He's like, all right, you going up third.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
Throws you up.
Yeah, it throws me up.
And did you have some stuff?
I wrote some shit.
I ate like tough.
And what was funny was it was this hookah bar.
And actually, I saw a lot of people get up there.
David Lucas used to get up there all the time.
Shout out to David.
I love David.
Rel Battle.
Yeah.
That's my brother.
What's the name of it?
This is in LA?
Yeah.
Amsterdam Cafe.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's been around, dog.
Yeah, yeah.
Red Room stage.
Yeah, yeah.
Like you walk in the door and the stage will be to the right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And when was this that you were that you did that?
This was like 20, like, like 2012, 2013.
It's like, it's so blurry now, but it was like a good like year, two years where I was like going there.
Fun story.
Yeah.
But it was like a lot of comedy store guys would go there.
And I figured out pretty quick, like everybody knew each other.
And I was one of the seven guys that didn't know anybody.
Right.
So even when I'd sit and wait to go up like 18th and I just do the shit.
Sometimes nobody in the room.
Sometimes just the bartender.
But I just eat it and I'm just like, all right, I got to, you know, I got to work it out.
I remember that process.
You have to like, you have to have at least one person that's in be like, oh, he's funny.
And then they'll start fucking with you.
It's very much like being a new kid at school in LA because it's a smaller scene.
And then if you have jokes, then you're in.
And then you're just talking shit or whatever.
But because I was writing code and I had like a real job, I couldn't like, I couldn't, what everyone would do is they go to the Amsterdam Cafe and then they go hang at the store.
And you couldn't do the hang.
I couldn't do that.
You had to get to sleep and shit.
It was shitty.
Okay.
But I remember going back there after a period.
I went back there like, cause I had, then I started doing bringer shows and just anything I could to get time.
And I went back there and it was a, I actually got like one of the first five slots.
It was like one of the only times I ever got the first five slots.
And I dished some shit out and I had everybody laughing.
And I remember I said one joke, I said, I don't know if that's too much.
Cringe Era of Vine Content00:07:48
And then one dude goes, if it's making us laugh, it's probably too dark for our audience, bro.
So you got something.
And that felt like the first time I got kind of like a stamp.
Like, all right, you're kind of doing something out here.
But yeah, so I was doing all that, but it's in that process where I admitted to myself, like, I'm going to have to give into the internet.
I can't just be a straight comic because I'm never going to get time.
So there's actually like really funny old flyers of me that have me on it.
And dude, they have like all the social media symbols next to it.
And there's one flyer where they're like, over a hundred thousand followers on Vine.
Like they were trying to market me that way.
It's so goofy.
But yeah, so then the internet stuff happened.
And so now it's just like I'm getting back to it.
But you've been able to continue going on stage.
Okay.
And now you can get up at the clubs in LA a little bit more.
So that's the thing is like they show me love, but I actually don't know a lot of people out there.
So it's kind of like, I don't, the same way you're like, when you look up me doing stand-up, you don't, you just find that one clip.
Yeah.
You're like, you're a wild boy, though.
Because now there's peak curiosity.
I know, yeah.
All these people are going to go, eh, the fuck, man?
Right now it currently has 2.7 thousand views, if I'm not mistaken.
I remember the views being dumb low.
Yeah.
And it's like an eight-year-old video or something.
2.7,000?
Yeah.
2,700.
That's why I didn't hire him at Kumar.
2.7,000.
No, 2.7K is what the thing says.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you not realize how fucking dumb you just sounded shit?
You're giving us a face.
Yeah, if I say 1.3 million, you know what that means, right?
Wait, no, no, don't take the position like you were right.
I'm right.
If I say 1.4 million, I'll see you to step in.
I'll see you to step in.
He's kind of right.
I don't know what he says that shit, but nobody's fan.
Like, you sound like an idiot.
I'm technically right, but okay, nobody says it like that.
I accept that.
Yeah, yeah.
So you got defensive about that math, right?
Come on, Bruce.
Come on.
You get it.
You know what I mean?
You get it.
Filipinos can't do no math.
They tried.
What are you talking about?
Oh, you look at me.
Wait, look at me.
All right.
So, all right.
So here's a question.
You start to get up, everything's good.
Obviously, you have the success on Vine.
Does Vine create all the internet superstars that exist today?
It kind of did.
Because I think it, like, I don't know if some people like.
Like, name some of the people that popped on Vine that we know now.
I mean, like, Hannah Stocking made it through.
Logan.
Logan.
Jake.
Jake.
You, Batch.
I wouldn't count me though.
Because, like, I had like 100,000 followers right when Vine was about to die.
Like, I didn't get millions.
Okay.
What's weird, though, is I made a lot of Vines that people know, but like they didn't know was mad.
I think DC Young Fly started on Vine.
Yeah, DC Young Fly is a good one.
I just want to fuck up on Instagram.
He started on Vine had some shit that popped.
Lele Pons.
I don't know.
There's just like a lot of talent that came from Vine.
Yeah.
Like I kind of feel that way in a similar way with like stand-ups and guy code.
There's like all these stand-ups that have become incredibly popular that like came through this weird random MTV2 show.
Yeah.
And then sometimes that happens.
Also, Vine was so heavily edited, I think it taught all of us to speed up things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got what, seven seconds or whatever it was.
That's actually a great point.
Yeah.
I mean, the format itself was ahead of its time.
How the fuck did it fail?
I think it got acquired and then it got shut down or something.
Yeah, it was bought by Twitter and they killed it because it wasn't making money.
They didn't know how to monetize it yet.
So it was just, it was just before the right time.
It was just ahead.
Because then when TikTok happened, phones were better, the tech was better, monetization was like more understood.
And we understood the model.
I don't think we fully, I was, I'm 38, so I was kind of old when Vine came out.
So I was like, a six-second video.
How the fuck am I going to watch that?
I think TikTok, we get it now because Vine was ahead.
Yeah, yeah.
So TikTok, and you got 60 seconds at the time.
So it's like, oh, this is a whole thing.
So Vine.
Did Vine let you edit and do all the things on the app?
Eventually, they let you upload things from your photo roll.
So because I knew how to edit, that's kind of what people knew me for.
I'd have like these highly produced like pieces of six-second pieces.
People go, how the fuck do you do that?
That was the beauty of TikTok, right?
Is TikTok goes, all that shit is in here already.
Yeah.
Got you.
Whereas before, you had to at least understand like, what is it called?
What's that fucking Apple editing software?
Final cut or something like that.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
But the idea was right.
Yeah.
Just a constant distraction, short, move on to the next one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Vine blows up a few folks, but you say you just kind of hit the end.
You just have.
So, yo, it was funny.
Like when we were doing research for you, I had no clue.
It was you and Cody that did that meme.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one.
Is that a is there a bunch of shit where you guys are viral, but people don't know it's you?
Yeah, I think a lot of people don't realize it's me because I wore hats in a lot of them.
Funny.
Yeah.
And that was kind of like the thing on Vine as well.
I wore hats in a lot of like my vines.
So people like don't know that as me.
What was this?
Was there a thought process behind that?
Or is it just what?
I just wore a lot of hats at the time.
Like it's just like, it's just me.
Damn, bro.
Where would you be without the hats, dude?
Honestly.
Stadiums.
Yeah.
Just talk about this.
Yeah, probably.
The funniest one is like to this day, I still have the only like meme that's posted on Dan Bilzarian's Instagram.
Oh, really?
What is it?
It's like this old ass vine.
It's like, it's stupid as hell.
It's just, it's just my girl saying, who is this bitch?
And she like holds a phone out in the foreground, and that's just like the Who Wants to be a Millionaire menu comes up with like just like some answers.
It's just like me thinking about what I'm going to say.
That's funny.
Yeah.
And it's crazy because I posted it and it got like a ton of likes.
And I was about to go to a movie and I'm like, well, that's cool.
And I go watch the movie and then I come out the movie and someone says, Hey, Dan Wilzarian posted that to his Facebook page.
And it had like 7 million views or some shit.
And people were like, yo.
So if you scroll down, it's like the only meme that he's ever put on his whole account.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
It's weird as fuck.
Just hot girls and then you.
Yeah, actually.
Like, if you just scroll all the way down, it's just my face.
You're a bad bitch, bro.
You are.
What can I say?
With the ass?
Are you the only man he's ever posted on this?
I think so, dude.
That's funny.
I don't know.
I look like a little boy there.
So he might have been confused.
Yeah.
Oh, that's an Asian lesbian.
Yeah, throw it up.
I'm curious about the that cringe, like that whole era of the stuff you guys were making.
Is it ever annoying when people bring it up?
Or like people will be like, bro, that's the thing that I love the most.
And you're like, it's been years.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
It's definitely sometimes people heckle it at shows and stuff.
Oh, really?
Yeah, but Cody and I understand like where are you going to get that much exposure?
I think all of that's cringe.
Cody knows that like the actual number.
Could you explain what it is to the people that might not know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you've never heard of it, basically, dude, it's so funny because Cody and I never had any thought that it was like going to be anything.
We just kind of knew that reaction videos were a format.
And Cody just thought to put, I don't know, that's cringe.
Like it was just such a natural.
And then we just kept using that title.
Or Cody would keep using that title because he was just thinking, oh, well, they know that from the last one.
So I'll just recycle it.
And we were unintentionally making a series.
It was basically me and my Vietnamese co-host, Cody Ko.
And we would just react to random videos on the internet.
And so I think all of them combined have something like, it's like 175 million views.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it's an absurd number.
Unintentional Reaction Video Series00:15:01
But yeah.
So we don't get annoyed.
We understand.
Yeah.
That's where people know us from.
I think most people, if I put on a hat, then they'd be like, oh, that's your disguise taking off your hat.
And the pod, though.
The pod is popping.
You guys had, I mean, one of the, you guys have still, like one of the most impressive studios.
I remember I hit you up.
Yeah.
I remember I saw it.
I was like, holy shit, this is on another fucking level.
Yeah, man.
Because, I mean, you could describe it better, but the thing that I thought was so smart is obviously the set looks good, et cetera.
But you have these like screens.
You're talking about other windows.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
That's right.
It's about a whole lot of the space theater.
These windows on the spaceship.
Yeah.
But the coolest thing about the spaceship is that it's moving through space.
Yes.
And you can see that through the windows.
They're not TV screens that's playing a video moving through space, but they're actually.
We actually go into space, man.
Yeah, that's space every time that you go.
We've made all that Patreon money.
Yo, Patreon pays good.
We had to join Jeff and Elon up there.
You know what's up, man?
Get away from the pours.
Yeah.
But it was fire.
It was just great.
Yeah, I loved it.
I loved it.
I loved it.
I loved it, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You talked about starting stand-up.
I remember in a video, you were talking to Cody and saying something like, I was drawn to stand-up at like 12, 13 years old.
Yeah, yeah.
Who were the stand-ups?
What drew you to it?
And then what took you so long to get into?
So, funny story about that.
I would actually just watch like a ton of like Comic View, and then Comedy Central just had like the 10-minute sets that they would run.
You and Joe Coi.
Fuck.
That's just what was on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Who says I'm Filipino, though?
All right.
My bad.
Let's move on.
No, you're all right.
I would just watch a lot of that.
But so I remember watching a set on Comic View and I remember it being one of the more like this comic was like his face was more animated than like a lot of other comics.
So but for years I couldn't remember.
I just knew like his face.
I knew his behavior.
So the guy broke me to stand up.
He goes, hey man, meet me down in Englewood.
I'm going to introduce you to a friend.
He's put on a show and he takes me to a club called the J Spot.
I don't know.
I know the J Spot.
Yeah, yeah.
You know the J Spot.
And I'm watching, you know, I'm watching this guy and I'm like, man, that face.
I know the face.
We get off stage.
Comedy OG is like, hey, this is Eric Blake.
I say, Eric Blake, you have a set on Comic View about like stuffing some drugs in a, and like, you know, you ate them before the cop.
I'm describing the bit.
He just looks at me.
He goes, how old are you?
I say, man, I'm 23.
He's like, we some old motherfuckers, bro.
Yeah.
So Eric Blake.
And he, he was nice enough to let me open one time from South Central.
So like, sometimes this crowd's gonna be tougher.
Rolling guy, Eric Blake.
Yeah, he's tall.
Yeah.
I think I remember that guy.
And so he let me open one time.
I man, I ate it so bad, dude.
I ate it so bad.
I got off stage.
I'm like, man, it's probably because you know, like, maybe I shouldn't have opened on some sex jokes.
And my comedy OGs just busted me.
He's like, you thought it was the sex jokes that made you not funny?
He's like, nah, man, you just ate it up there.
I'm like, all right, yeah, no, you got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, but a lot of comic view.
And then I got a little bit like in high school, a friend's older brother for my birthday, he bought me killing him softly.
And then one of the rock specials.
Do you remember which rock special?
It's like the cover was like, it looked like a, he's like in a white suit.
Look like a, damn it.
I was like going through the specials recently because of the new one.
And I'm like, what fucking special?
He's holding the gold mic that's bringing the, that's a bigger and black.
And the white suit might be bring the pain mic.
I think it's bring the pain.
Okay.
Yeah.
And so whenever like I get in trouble, my parents would take my computer away.
Yeah.
I would just sit on this like TV on the ground and I just watch those specials just like on loop.
Amazing.
Yeah, just both of those are just fucking incredible.
Yeah.
Would you drop a special?
Yeah.
So the set I've been working on, I've been working on it almost like two years now.
So I think we'll put it out.
I'm like scared as fuck though.
That's the thing.
It is, that's why I was wondering why you haven't put stand-up out.
Yeah.
Are you a little bit scared?
I am, but actually, I haven't put out any clips because I think clips are kind of deceiving in that, yeah, it's like it'll help your career and it'll help you grow.
And you can get better like through watching your own clips and all that.
But I guess for me personally, I kind of just wanted to focus on it for like a year and change, like just getting back to it and just being good.
Like just being comfortable.
Smart.
And not worrying about the content of it because I think naturally like when you're being filmed, you're just going to be different.
Yeah.
So I kind of looked at it more like, what am I actually trying to do up here?
Just make it like personal discovery shit.
There's a, yeah, I think it's a really good observation you're making about the clips in general, which is like what we would do is we'd film every single show on the road.
And when we were in the comedy clubs, we're doing five shows, six shows.
And sometimes we get nothing.
Yeah.
That's six hours.
Yeah.
And there's just nothing.
And that's okay.
Yeah.
And eventually the cameras just kind of exist there, but you forget about them because you're not going, I need to get this right.
It's almost like, I remember like my least favorite time in comedy was when I'd be like preparing a late night set.
There's a time early in comedy where I was like, oh, I should audition for late night.
Let me get my five minutes.
And it's just brutal.
Yeah.
It sucks.
Because you're not going up there enjoying the jokes.
You're going up there and like, okay, this has, I can't address anything happening in the room.
Yeah.
I have to start on this.
A pot falls.
You know what I mean?
You're not being in the moment at all.
So I think that that's right that you're just like focused on like grinding it out and like getting great, you know, making sure the bits are strong.
I think that's the right decision.
And then when it's right, you know, put it out, obviously.
That's kind of how I feel.
So I've been filming every theater show.
Just so you can watch it.
You can.
Yeah, and then just have it.
And so like that little clip I put in that vlog was like the first one where I said, all right, like I'll just sprinkle it in.
I'll just like have a little bit.
It's a good clip in that, and Andrew kind of alluded to this.
It showed me you were real comic because someone just yells out some shit.
You're not thrown at all.
You talk to him, you respond to him, and then you have funny.
And I'm like, oh, that's a guy that has worked on the muscle.
Appreciate it, man.
Thank you.
Because I think most people come from who are like YouTubers trying to do it or whatever.
They're not going to know as well what to do.
You might learn.
But for you, I was like, oh, he's been doing it.
He's a stand-up.
It's also scary, though, to like release something that you identify as.
Sure.
You don't identify as a podcaster or a reaction video guy.
You probably identify as a stand-up comedian.
It's what I care about the most.
Exactly.
So that's the thing you're going to hold closest where it's like, all right, if this reaction doesn't go that well, you're like, well, yeah, I don't do that.
I do this other shit.
I don't want anyone to feel like that watches me on the internet.
But I've been pretty vocal about it.
Like they know that, and they come see me live and they know like, oh, yeah, stand-up is definitely like his first love.
Like the rest of this is cool, but like that's definitely like his best weapon, so to speak.
Is there any anxiety with having a pre-existing audience and then introducing this new type of content?
No, because in some ways I think that's actually kind of like when I do those weekends in like Kansas City and it's five shows, sometimes it actually creates like some of the hardest crowds because sometimes you get a crowd that's like all 20 years old.
They know me from the internet.
They actually don't give a shit about stand-up.
And so like not only am I trying to convince them to like get into the show, they may not even like stand-up.
Like they may find out in that moment where they're like, I don't really care for this like torment.
This shit is stand up.
This shit's kind of corny.
Think about being 20.
Your whole life, you've just been able to swipe up whenever you don't like something.
We at least grew up with TV.
I got to sit half hour.
So sitting through a one-hour show that I don't love is not that bad.
But they're like, bro, you're going to do an hour and I can't swipe up on you.
What is that?
Yeah.
I mean, that's point.
It's brutal.
You ever got to kick people out?
Like, people that just don't know what they're doing?
You got to be like...
I've only had a couple of those shows, but I don't really kick them out.
Like, I'll just kind of, I kind of beat up on them for a minute.
Then I'll be like, look, just shut the fuck up.
Like, no one hates you.
Like, just sit down and like, just don't be like that.
I'm like, just, you paid.
Like, just hang.
Like, just don't be annoying.
Yeah.
And there's this girl in New Orleans.
This is actually great.
She's like hammered.
And in the middle of my set, she stands up.
She's like to the room.
I'm going to fucking leave before I fucking cuss you out.
And I go, the whole room goes, what?
Because the show was fine.
She just stands up and says that.
And so I kind of started torching her a little bit.
Then I realized she's like gone.
What I didn't notice was as I'm starting to like clown her a little bit, she's there with a guy.
And the guy's like, yo, yo, and he starts like inching away and he left.
And so what I found out was she was on a date and the dude was like, nah, fuck this.
And he just go, like, he just ditched her right there.
And she sat there after he left for like 20 minutes, just like hammered.
She was the only one I could see.
She's the only one sitting under a light.
Oh, hilarious.
She's just like kind of like wavering.
Bro.
Yeah.
Did she cuss you out?
No, no, no.
No.
Bro, it's it.
I was in.
She might have thought I was the guy.
You know what I mean?
She didn't know what was going on.
She's like, how did he get up there?
I will say this, though.
Once you put out some stand-up, when people don't know you for stand-up, because that's what happened for me for years.
I did the podcast with Charlemagne and like people just didn't know I did.
They kind of like knew I did stand-up.
Yeah.
But they didn't because they didn't see any.
And then I put some out, and all of a sudden, my like personality and everything made sense on the podcast.
Everything that they took seriously and they were like upset about, they were like angry about, they were offended by immediately became like, oh, I've seen his jokes.
I get where he comes from.
He's just trying to be silly.
Like, it just made everything so much more understandable.
So you might even have like more, what is the term, like a poetic license?
Yeah, maybe, yeah.
And the audience will be better trained because, again, the swipe up, if they've seen your stand-up and like it, they're not swiping up on it.
You know what they're doing?
They have to like it first.
They know I'm going to go get watch an hour of this exact thing.
Yeah, yeah.
So it will help that too.
Do you ever feel like you can't move because you guys have such a successful business?
Yeah.
So that was my thing: I think after tour, I'm just going to, I want to shoot out what I've done.
And then I think it's such a thing because I know people work on specials for a while, but I feel like two years is good enough for this one.
And then I hit the reset button and then I come out here and just hustle.
But I'm talking about business-wise, like with the pod.
No, I know, yeah.
That's why I can't like fully move.
Yeah.
But my plan was to kind of come out here and just spend like blocks of time, whether it's like two weeks, you know, two weeks here, two weeks there, just try to do as much as I can over here while that's running.
But yeah, you can't like, it's crazy.
Like all the business people are over there, but the stand-up is like really here.
Yeah.
So.
Especially now because Rogan left and all in Chrysler and cigarette.
Like you felt that.
I mean, I felt it a little bit.
Last time I was in LA, I was like, oh, there's a different energy.
Yeah.
There's a different energy.
I mean, that time when like Rogan and all those guys were at the store, the store was crazy.
It was electric.
Yeah.
Every room just fucking rampacked.
People standing, watching.
That's what it looks like at Rogan's Club now, though.
Bro, I know.
You've seen the clips from it?
Yeah, I've seen a couple.
Go, go.
Arkash SP.
But yeah.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Would your girl move out here?
It's funny.
She wanted to live out here a minute ago before, you know, we kind of like, we got our place in LA.
And now I float the idea and she's like, ah, she's getting comfy.
Bro, it's cool that you've been with her since before you were successful.
Bro, she was with you in like the credit card default days.
Dude, she used to sit with me, like at the Amsterdam cafe.
She watched me eat it.
And she stuck with you, though.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's why it's real.
That's why.
What was the first expensive thing you bought her where you're like, hey, we're going to be all right?
Let me think about that.
There must have been like a bag or something where you're like, she's not too material like that.
Right.
Tickets of the Pacquiao fight, something like that.
No, that's Unk, man.
He got me.
Yeah.
No, that's smart because I'm doing the same strategy.
I've been with my girl a long time.
I've been married since I was 23.
And so I've just been trying to keep her taste poor.
You know what I mean?
Everything I get her like a fake Michael Kors badge.
Do you let her go out past nine?
No, Okay.
All right.
All right.
No.
I got to keep her on a poor mindset because she grew up without a ton of money.
You know what I mean?
So I don't want to just give her a ton and then all of a sudden her expectations got ruining his wife.
It's the worst.
They hang out.
My wife's picking out bags.
They come back.
My girl was like, oh, yeah, we made an appointment to go see a badge.
We in this together.
No, we're not.
No, no, no.
She made an appointment to see a bad.
Why do you spend money?
No, that's what I'm waiting for.
You know what I can't wait for?
Why can't you let anyone win, bro?
Come on.
You can be in the car one day.
What's your wife's name?
Alicia.
Alicia.
She's going to look out the window and say, you ever thought about doing a special?
I think I think.
I think you do so well.
You'd be so funny.
I can't wait till she has career advice.
She's like, you should do a tour.
Yeah, you should.
She'd be excellent.
Yeah, that does happen.
Like, sometimes I'll be like running a joke by my wife and she'll give me a note and I'll be like, the fucking right now.
She's like, yeah, if you come back from this perspective, you probably get it.
I'm like, what did I create?
What did I fucking create?
Yeah.
My girl is dude.
She's like, I love her because anytime I bomb, she wouldn't be like, Hey, like, it's okay.
Like, she'd do that a little bit.
And she's like, I'm pretty sure is when you said that.
She'd point out, she'd be like, I think you lost the room right there.
Yeah.
I'd be emotional.
Like, nah, man, they're just a bitch-ass crowd.
They don't know how funny is.
She's very Pakistani about it.
She just goes straight to the point.
Yeah, dude.
You're good at coding.
They gotta cheer you up with your other successes.
No, but that's it.
It is cool.
Like, I feel like being with your girl since before, because then every new experience you get to take her on, you feel like Drake.
Like, that is what happened with me.
Like, I would take her on a trip and she's like, really?
Mexico?
Like, she can't believe it.
And we're standing at like a fucking best western out there.
I'm like, yeah, dude.
With me and her, the thing is, though, we used to like, we kind of like always pooled our money together and we treat us like a business.
Yeah.
So we're always like pretty tapped in with like what we have.
Yeah.
So I think in that way, she's not material.
That's so generous of you.
My debt is your debt.
Oh, no, no.
She didn't let me get off with that.
No, hell no, bro.
No.
When I started coding, she was like, you need to do this if you think this is going to, you know, work out.
You got to handle this shit.
No, no, she wasn't that mean.
Mexico Trip Business Partnership00:02:06
But so I guess like.
Yeah, I just realized that conversation where she got you into coding was way, you made it sound way nicer than it was.
I'm being broke with a brown girl.
It's not, hey, here's an opportunity you might want to pursue.
Hey, that ain't it.
Yeah.
She saw Eboma was like, do you know C?
Wonderful.
So JavaScript.
You're really good at that.
No, man.
She, I remember when like shit really started taking off, she had a moment where she's like, I've always known you to be funny.
I've always had faith, but I can't deny it's really crazy to see it like work out.
Oh, yeah.
That's like a backhanded compliment.
Sneak this.
No, no, no.
This girl's a savage.
That's awesome.
But to be fair, I was kind of like leading the conversation that way.
But she like, she and I both, we always talk about that shit where we're like, this is kind of like a like one in a million type expectation.
Like we really talk about it now when I do the theaters.
That shit fucked me up in Sydney.
Like I had 2,000 people there and that was like sold out to the max.
Yeah.
And I just was like, have this real meta moment where I'm like, fuck.
It's like a lot of people.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I think it was different when Cody and I toured.
It was, it was kind of like variety show.
My portion of it was definitely just stand-up.
Yeah.
But I think it was kind of like this, like, it was like a good time, and everyone was in on it.
Like, we're kind of like sharing inside jokes with the crowd or whatever.
And I think the expectations were kind of like, ah, whatever the show is, it's going to be a good time.
It's almost like a meet and greet.
They're like, we want to be in the room with these guys.
Yeah, people are just super excited.
But, you know, we wrote a show and we whatever.
But then this is like, everyone's a little bit older now.
And he's just going to be up there talking.
And you're doing the thing that you've always wanted to do.
Yeah, yeah.
So I care about it more.
And, or like, yeah, it's near and dear.
So it's been a, it's definitely been a process.
But yeah, you have what are called feelings.
Yeah.
And I know growing up in your strict Asian household, those aren't allowed, but it's great that you had to go to Australia to find because you were close to where.
Yeah.
Isn't that interesting?
Isn't it interesting?
Is that interesting?
Yeah, I got to New Zealand and everyone's like, hey, cuz.
Bong Rips and Meet and Greets00:06:22
I'm like, yo, don't do that.
Don't, don't, don't throw us off.
He's Kiwi, dude.
Is he fucking Maori?
He's muddy.
He's a muddy man.
Moody?
Shout out Vinnie Bennett.
I don't know who that is.
He was young Vin Diesel in the like second to latest Fast and Furious.
Still don't know.
That's a very niche reference.
Yeah.
Wait, now I think you're Mexican, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll be like, there's some type of Latino in there.
It's all about family, man.
Just go.
I had a bunch of friends because I'm 26.
So, like, growing up, I had so many friends, especially from back home, that just like watched all your guys' content.
Damn.
And I was asking them, and they were talking about you as if they knew you.
Yeah.
Like, they know everything about your guys' life.
They do.
They honestly do.
Do you ever feel like the proximity with the parasocial stuff gets too much?
Like, does it ever freak you out when people come to you on the street and they're like, bro, blah, blah, blah, this, this, this?
No, I mean, I think for other people, it might be because it's very like, I think for other people that make stuff on YouTube, it's very fanatic.
Yeah.
But I think because people have kind of grown up with us, they listen to the podcast.
It's very actually like, I do feel like I know them because they know me.
Right.
And people are super respectful.
Like, some guys might stop me in the airport and they go, you know what?
Can we just get a quick soft?
All right, guys, we got to take a break for a second because honestly, your bong is trash.
It's tearing up your throat.
Your throat's on fire.
Throat's absolutely on fire.
Why?
Because you don't got the glycerin chambers.
Fam.
Okay, the glycerin chambers.
The glycerin chambers are key.
Freeze up them glycerin chambers.
Okay, so that smoke hits your throat nice and cool.
Take the biggest bong rips ever.
Chicks get drippy.
You get sucked.
It's a very simple formula.
You don't have to take advanced risonometry to understand that if the bong is cold because of the glycerin chambers, the bong rips are big.
The chicks get wet.
You get sucked.
Okay?
Hello?
You don't believe me?
Ask my man Al Jebra.
His math is crazy.
You don't know about Al Jebra?
Yo, Al's math is crazy.
And he told me it adds up.
What about Cal?
Bro, dude, you could also talk to Cal Culis.
Yo, my man, Cal Culis, okay, Al Jebra, obviously all know the math.
And if you want to get a master's in rhysonometry, you need the motherfucking glycerin chambers.
Bow, bow, big, big, big clouds of smoke.
Don't bring Ari into this, bro.
Dude, I refuse to talk about Arik.
Yo, Ari Thmutik is one of my favorite friends from Hebrew school.
Yo, Ari Thmutik is a great dude.
He knows all about them big bong rippies.
You know what I mean?
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Now let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because your wallet sucks.
Look at that.
How you want to date?
Girl's ready to go, pooled up under her seat.
You try to pay for the bill and you bust out a wallet that doesn't look like this.
You bust out the George Costanza.
What happens to that pool under her seat?
Freezes over.
Cataclysm.
You know what I'm saying?
She's going to be drier than the younger, dryest.
Think about that.
Okay.
And you had it pulled up crazy.
Pond scum.
You had the panties full of ponds come.
You had the panties so full of pond scum, Miles was going to have to power wash them.
She couldn't even take them.
She couldn't even take them.
You know what?
She couldn't take them to the dry cleaning.
That's a fact.
She got to take them to the wet cleaning.
That's how pulled up it was.
She was going to have to take them to wet cleaning.
Miles is going to have to come through.
Miles is going to have to come through with the power washer and clean the pon scum off the panties.
But your wallet was trash.
You didn't bust out the extra.
Bam.
You didn't bust out the expert that's the extra that's RFID protected.
That means nobody could boop you.
Yeah, you know what the boop is.
Somebody, you know, you pay for the latte.
Boop.
Take your card out, boop it right on the machine.
This right here is a wallet that's boot proof.
That means a dude with a boober can't come up to you on the street.
Sorry if I'm getting too technical here, guys, and just boop it out of nowhere, steal all your information, charge you for shit that you didn't even buy.
What I'm trying to say is if you want shorty to stay pulled up, if you don't want people to steal your information, and you basically just want to be the man, you check out wallets at exter.com.
That's e-k-s-t-e-r.com.
And you get up to 25% off site-wide with this code right here: flagrant shop.exter.com/slash flagrant.
Shop.exter.com slash flagrant.
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Make sure you use that promo code flagrant.
You're welcome.
Let's get back to the show.
And we're back.
Breaking development in the story.
Breaking development in the story.
We have a little bit more information that could lead to understanding where you and your family is from.
Yeah.
Fake Porsche and Arcade Speedsters00:14:37
You are the proud owner of Honda Civic.
A Honda Civic.
What kind, though?
This is important.
So it's a 2003.
So it's an EM.
Yeah, that's the best year to mod.
100%.
No.
Come on, bro.
No.
The early 2000 ones?
I had a 93.
No, you want the 90s, dude.
Why?
Why?
What happened in the 90s?
Well, the EK and the EG chassis are just like the most, you know, modular.
They're the easiest to mod.
Oh, you got the EM.
Yeah, I got an EM.
Wait, you know about cars and shit?
Yeah, a little bit.
He knows about Honda.
Can you fix them?
I could do something.
He could soup them up.
I could do a little something.
He can't fix them.
I could do a little something.
He could soup them up.
He could do a little something.
I'm telling you I'm right here.
You rob them?
Didn't steal them?
No, it wasn't like that, but I know how to get that done.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, you rent a tow truck, you get a chipped ECU.
What's ECU?
It's like the electronic computer in a car.
Okay.
Yeah.
So back in the day, people would take the ECUs from these and they would chip them.
And then they would actually, they would go around LA and they would go looking for S-2000s with the top down.
And then they hop in the passenger and they'd rip up the carpet and they'd swap the chip just to get the car to go into first.
And then they'd roll them onto a flatbed tow truck and then jack them.
So that's how you jack the cars because you can get into first gear if you chip it.
If you just swap the computer.
So, yeah, it would like get the car to turn on.
It turns on, it's in first gear, but you can't do anything else.
Not much.
You'll start fucking with the car because the computer, like, I think it recognizes that you're trying to steal that shit.
No, it just dictates like how like the engine runs and it's not mapped for the engine that's in that car.
So you're going to fuck with it pretty bad if you run on that program.
How much of cars nowadays are how do I word this?
Is a car now just a computer?
Like these modern cars?
Yeah, and I would say in a lot of ways they are.
So if you were a mechanic, do you have to be a computer engineer as well now?
No, no, no, not like that.
Okay.
I think there's a lot of stuff that is like computer dependent.
So when you have shit wrong, you might take it to a mechanic and I feel like they may say, oh yeah, like this is fine, but because the computer is, you know, wanting this out of the car, you have to go take it to them.
Like, and in this era of car, they could do whatever.
Yeah.
They could swap out parts and it was a mix and match kind of your potato head thing.
My Porsche is a 2022.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you had to get the allocation for that.
Yeah.
That must have felt nice.
I mean, I got it right before they started marking them up.
I was going to say, what was your markup?
I got right in right before that because I bought it like still during kind of COVID.
It was crazy.
I kind of decided like, all right, I want a GT4.
I went in to go buy one.
And I've never seen a car salesman this depressed.
Because I was like, do you have any?
He's like, no.
You came in here a month ago, man.
We were selling them 10% off.
Wow.
I was like, fuck, really?
He's like, yeah, he's like, I don't even know if they're going to make that car again.
Like, they didn't know if sports cars were going to be a thing because of the production.
So then I found out they were going to be a thing.
They were going to do another run of this year.
I got the allocation, but it was still like people weren't ordering them.
So I got in right as the demand was kind of ramping back up.
And then when I went to go pick it up, the dealer manager looked at the slip and he goes or the sheet and he says, who's buying this?
And he starts getting mad.
And he calls my car broker.
My broker was like, uh-uh, we locked this in a year ago.
Oh, wow.
You can't try to do that now.
But he was trying.
Because the price bumped.
Yeah, he tried to slap 50K on top.
Whoa, it went up 50K?
Yeah.
Just off of what?
Sheer demand.
Yeah.
That was like a normal markup for that year.
Yeah.
Wow.
Crazy.
Why?
Why did the markup go up so much?
Because basically Porsche, they don't know if they're going to keep making this car because everything's like going electric.
Yeah, yeah.
This is what happened with the, what are they called?
Hellcats and shit like that.
I think it was, what did they say that this was going to be the last year they were going to make the 800 horsepower engine?
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody and their mother started buying them because, boom, it makes sense.
It's almost like collector's item.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you drop only manual through LA?
No, no, no.
I caved on the panels.
I love manual, dude.
Even in LA, the hill's not that bad.
No.
It's annoying at like three stoplights every fucking two months or whatever.
Yeah.
You ever think about getting a fake Porsche?
Fake Porsche?
Yeah.
What do you mean by that?
Well, you just get a sick fake Porsche from back in the day, like a speedster from like 1957.
Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Thank you, dude.
Well, do you want to buy one?
Because he has.
You want to wait very cheap.
Yeah, if you don't want to wait, I might have one for you.
How many cars do you have?
Just, I mean, if you call it a car, I have one almost real car.
Yeah, one too many.
Yeah.
How many cars?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why?
Yeah, you don't like cars.
Well, no, I like this fake Porsche.
I have a 1957 Speedster.
Okay.
But it's a 1976 Beetle that has been carved and chopped into a Speedster.
Oh, wow.
And it's beautiful, but it's leaking.
It's gorgeous.
It's so, it's a pain in the ass to drive.
Let me see it.
Let me see it.
Let me get it up.
I could have got a fucking...
He'll walk you over to it right after.
Yeah, we'll go.
It's like an IG thought.
It's beautiful on the outside and broken on the inside.
It is, dude.
I should have got it electric.
You can get them fucking electric.
It really is.
You're trying to fly it out to LA.
It's like this vibe.
This is the exact flight.
No, no, not even close to that, Mark.
Don't disrespect my car.
I drove one of those at my wedding.
It looks just like it.
Don't literally disrespect my car.
It's the same thing.
It's the fact that you would even disrespect my car.
Yours is just like British racing green.
It's just crazy.
Jerry Seinfeld sued for selling allegedly fake porsche.
Exactly.
You guys have so much in Cape.
Oh, wow.
Isn't that crazy?
Rich.
What else?
The comedian thing.
You've had that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
New York City.
Funny sometimes.
Do you fuck with bikes at all?
You ever got a motorcycle?
Oh, man.
I want one so bad, but my girl is like no shot.
Really?
Yeah.
What would you get?
Are you like a sport bike guy?
Yeah, I'd probably get a Ducati like 848, but I'd love a cafe racer.
You don't want the fucking handlebars like that.
Oh, dude, I drove a real one of these.
Stop, stop.
Damn.
Damn.
Stop, stop.
Give him a wet willie quickly.
Yo, give him a wet Willie.
That's fine.
Holy shit, the real one is fine.
I've driven the real one.
When the guy brought it to me, he was this Dutch guy, and he was like, I heard you're a bit of a kart racer.
I'm like, yeah, I drive carts.
He's like, okay.
And he's describing to me how to drive the car.
A real one drives just like a go-kart.
Oh, really?
Like on rails?
Yeah.
Not necessarily, but it's like the gearing and like it's only got four gears.
It feels very go-kart.
How does that sound?
Well, how's yours sound?
I feel attacked right now.
You offer him some charity.
This is how you get her paid, bro.
I feel attacked.
I was trying to relate to you when both of us are seen.
Every time he comes up the bar, people are like, yo, punch buddy, no backs.
What did you say?
So why do you want to sell it, though?
No, I don't want to sell it.
I just want it to work.
But I will be honest, driving in the city with the fucking does it have an airbag?
It's a 1957 Porch Speedster.
I don't know if you like.
Did I put mods in it?
Yeah, yeah.
No, it doesn't even have seatbelts, really.
Yeah, yeah.
The seatbelts on that are scary.
It's nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is a motorcycle.
Yeah, you drive that.
Yeah, drive that seat, but you can't drive more than fucking 10 miles per hour.
Yeah, it's safe in the city.
But it sucks because you're changing gears all the fucking time.
If it was electric, that's what I should have done.
I should have just went electric.
Put a battery in it.
You can.
They offered it to me.
They're like, we'll put the Tesla shit in.
And this is what they said.
They're like, I think we can get 100 miles on it.
And I'm like, ooh, no.
You trash.
Yeah, that's garbage.
That's garbage.
Yeah.
And it's like, maybe we could add more batteries, this or whatever.
And I was like, I just need to be able to get out to the island on one charge.
How far can you get out now?
I can go out as long as I want.
Not with no oil.
Well, it's leaking oil, Al.
Yeah.
But I didn't buy it to do that.
I know, but you should have gone with electric.
It would have been good.
Saying if you went electric, it wouldn't leak the oil.
It wouldn't be able to leak.
You could just get a generator, put the generator on the floor.
Did I bring this up?
Why did I offer this information?
You offered it because you wanted to relate to his real Porsche.
Yeah, a real Porsche.
That should get you.
How far can a real Porsche go?
A real Porsche can go as far as you want, dude.
It does.
You can take it to the track.
That's how much he knows about cars.
When he went to buy one, he was like, how far does it go?
Yeah.
Damn.
You had Akash doing the math, bro.
Akash was like, oh, you could get it.
I did not ask Akash.
This shit could go 2.7k miles.
How many even is that, dude?
Come on.
No, it's so much fun, dude.
It just leaks oil constantly.
Do you actually race?
Do you actually go to do track days and shit?
I haven't done a full-size car yet, but yeah, I've done a ton of carting.
I like carting way more.
When you were a kid, were you carting?
No.
So you got into it late in life.
I mean, it sounds wild fun to be.
You had a shitty ass childhood.
You know, I'm just rediscovering it now.
Yeah, dude.
There you go.
Open up.
Open up.
I had a horrible childhood.
I didn't get to go carting.
And he's white laughing at me, like, we got to cart every weekend.
Yeah.
Tor, mixed, ugly.
I didn't say ugly.
Handsome.
You got the fatty.
Oh, thank you.
No, but no, the carting shit.
That's how all the F1 dudes do it.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the thing.
We think carting is like this childish thing, but every one of the professional race drivers in the world starts out carting and then continue to do that into like adulthood.
I almost did that.
I went carting with these guys and I won and they asked me if I wanted to go pro.
Where'd you go karting though?
This was a spot we did in LA.
I think this guy lies.
I did.
I posted on my Instagram.
I have the fastest lap of the week.
Fastest lap of the week.
You don't have to laugh.
I'm saying, hey, Mark, you're white.
You're young.
You're handsome.
I almost went pro.
Yeah, I was just like, nah.
Where's this little place?
This is like a little spot.
This is like, where'd we go?
Bro, this guy is the biggest cheater.
Worst day of his life.
Where was it?
St. Louis.
Where was it?
Oh, St. Louis.
Yeah, it was a St. Louis speaker.
You went to the open.
We went to a video game arcade that had a little bumper cars in it.
Anytime, any place.
And I worked that ass.
I worked that ass.
What are you talking about, bro?
Alex was the one.
I was first.
Oh, my God.
You were the worst.
What are you talking about?
You were the worst.
I won first.
I believe it.
Alex.
And then he won the second one.
If you stopped it.
Isn't that how it went?
Yeah, exactly.
I had the best laugh I gave one.
You knew that.
Black people drive fast.
So I believe Alex won.
He lost the second one because he got pulled over.
But I think if he hadn't been pulled over, he probably would have won the second one, too.
I hate you, bro.
Wow.
Yeah, dude.
Fuck you.
By your dad?
Your dad pulled over.
My dad pulled over.
He was playing win, didn't you?
He did win.
But I'm first.
He did win.
And then he went on fucking Wikipedia to figure out how to do it.
Oh, my God.
I'm so enraged.
I downloaded the update for how to race, and then I beat him up.
No, he didn't.
As we're signing in, I look over him.
He's on his phone watching like tutorials on how to do bumper cars.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I'm yeah.
I mean, anytime I go any track, small or large, I look up an onboard.
You gotta look up the map.
You gotta get birds.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
This is fine.
There's no honor in that.
There's no vinegar.
There's no honor to win him.
That's goofy, bro.
I'm gonna figure that shit on the fly.
Yeah, like a man.
Now I do that.
Don't flip.
Don't end up flying.
Stand strong.
St. Louis.
Because you said every time I go, I download.
No, no.
If it's like a legit track, I'll look up an onboard.
You gotta know where they oil it is.
But if I'm just driving like some random, like in-board.
What if it's an arcade?
No, I won't.
This guy is on the arcade.
Are they bumper cars?
Yes.
No, bro.
They'll bumper cars.
They fuck the stick on the ceiling.
No, you don't know.
No, he doesn't know what a bumper is.
They control how fast you could go.
You kept bumping, motherfuckers.
They shut up.
He was the carnivals in the 70s.
He doesn't know what's going on.
Andrew goes into an arcade.
He's like, where's the bearded lady?
That's what I'm saying.
I thought I was in a sandlock, bro.
No, you cheated.
I didn't, bro.
Alex actually won.
No, you cheated.
Why are you giving it to him?
What makes you happy about him?
Why did I just go to like Nola Motorsports Park?
Or you just went to like some random family fan.
You don't understand what I'm telling you.
Might have been Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, bumper cars.
Bumper cars.
Bumper cars.
We had a helmet.
We had full helmets and shisties.
Okay.
We had both.
Don't say shysties.
We did try to make it sound cool.
That's what he said when he gave it to me.
He passed me.
I was like, oh, thanks for the shyste, bro.
And he's like, what?
And then why did you do that?
Wow.
And then Mark's like, I'm from New York.
That's what we say out there.
Brooklyn, dog, County of Kings.
You know what time it is.
Okay, listen.
That's why the fucking cops came to pull Alex over.
We got a black guy here, and they're talking about shisties.
Yeah, he was playing music lab.
That's why I'm fucking full sheriff.
Drove onto track.
He was like, I see him.
Yeah, they got him.
We're going to give him a ticket right now.
That's what it takes to win sometimes, dog.
Yeah.
Calling the police.
Yeah.
That's why they called him Porsche 911, dog.
It's just 911.
You got to call him up.
This shit is a Nazi car.
People always forget that.
That's true.
Yeah.
But wait a minute.
Did it exist before the Nazis?
No, okay.
Volkswagen is people's car.
So that was like Nazi music.
That's Nazis.
But was it around before the Nazis?
Because if you're around before the Nazis and then the Nazis use it, that's what it is.
That I've seen was that there's like a apparently there's like a third Jewish participant with like fairy Porsche and there was like a third partner.
So it's three of them and they used to have like a racing team.
So they used to kind of like build cars together.
That was my understanding.
And then they got contracted to work on Volkswagen and then subsequently Porsche became a car company because they were originally just like an engineering consultant company.
Almost like AMG.
Trying to, yeah.
Maybe they didn't know.
They just heard Supreme Race and they're like, let's get in it.
Yeah.
Let's get involved.
That's where we're going to track.
Yeah, exactly.
So what's up with this Aryan race?
Like, how do we win?
And they're like, you already are.
You're kind of nailing it.
You're right.
Okay, so they got hired.
So you're basically saying the Jews are responsible for.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't put the Jews in my mouth.
Hey, yo.
It just kind of seemed like you were saying the Jews are responsible for how the Nazis got around.
They may have participated.
Wow.
Dude, is that factually accurate?
We have a Jew here.
So the Jew is a great first name, Adolph Rosenberger.
Aryan Race and Supreme Race Cars00:15:21
Holy shit.
And he provided the financial backing, obviously.
For Volkswagen?
For Porsche.
For Porsche.
Oh, for Porsche.
Yeah.
And then he was deprived of his stakeholdings and position in the Porsche company.
Oh, my God.
Damn.
They never acknowledged him.
But so Porsche is a Jewish car brand.
You could potentially say.
That's what I'm fucking talking about.
That's what I'm talking about.
Why are you talking about that?
Why?
Because I'm not supporting the Nazis.
I'm supporting the Jews by buying my fake Porsche.
Yeah.
But it's a fake one.
You bought a Volkswagen.
You're actually taking money away from the Jews.
You bought a Volkswagen, which is a Nazi car, and then put a Jewish thing on top of it.
So actually.
I approve.
Thank you.
Wow.
So it's more ethical to drive a fake horse.
He bought the Nazi.
You fucking Nazis.
Who are you?
You're calling a Nazi, bro.
What are you talking about?
No, but for real.
Y'all are Nazis for even questioning that.
You bought a Volkswagen.
You bought a fake one.
That is true.
He bought a Volkswagen, though.
It's a Volkswagen.
But you brought the gear that Adolph was ripping in one.
In 57, he was murked already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was long dead.
20 bags.
Long dead.
What is it?
And he's a 76.
45.
45?
I thought it was 46, but long dead.
Hitler's long dead.
You guys believe Hitler got his haircut?
April 30th, 1946.
You go a little smaller on that mustache.
You got a little crazy in that porch, dude.
Honestly, you're lucky you got that Jewish-ass nose.
Otherwise, he'll be drawing a long way from me.
I got to confuse him, man.
I got to keep them guessing, you know?
But no, this is aerodynamic, this nose.
Aryan dynamic.
It's Aryan combat.
Maybe that's why I was busting y'all ass on that fucking carding horse.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that.
No, no, you guys are beating me because of the helmets.
But if we were no helmet and I'm just dorsal fitting through that track, there's no way that y'all.
I would have drafted off your wind and pulled around.
Dude, that fucking helmet you got on top of your shoulders.
Why got a helmet off someone's wind?
They took a sledgehammer to the top of the helmet just to fit it over Mark.
I didn't have a helmet big enough for me.
Hell yeah, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Why are you dapping that up?
You think you got a big head?
Dude, my racing helmet size is huge.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't have that big a head, bro.
Also, a carding helmet.
A racing helmet is a big.
You're being liberal with the term.
It's a carding helmet.
It's a go-kart helmet.
But it works on a race car.
Yeah, I'm sure it does.
Actually, it works everywhere.
No, because it's just a helmet.
Take a personal helmet and put it on a racer.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
What's he talking about?
A carding helmet doesn't have like, it's not enabled for like electronics.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like you could patch in a radio and shit to my helmet.
Yeah, exactly.
Why?
No, no.
So you got to call to the race too.
So your wife can tell you to get off the track and come home.
No, let me just explain.
Nerds, right?
Let me explain how this isn't.
I mean, I know it's not cool, but let me add the one layer that is especially not cool.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's an all-carbon fiber helmet.
It's like for racing.
Okay.
And like, when I go out to the...
And you need that because you're Asian and it's almost guaranteed there's going to be an accident.
The Filipinos don't crash.
But who said?
I'm telling you.
How did we get it?
But who said it?
Who said?
Damn, we got it.
Okay, go on.
Go on.
So you got your carbon fiber in the bit.
3,000, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's just funny because I'll go out there and it's like, it's got no sponsors on it or anything.
Because it's a carting helmet, no, but they get sponsored, yeah.
They get sponsored.
I mean, Costco, you know what I'm saying?
You get a lot of stuff.
No, dude, carting helmets, they look crazy.
But it's just funny because I'm like telling on myself.
Like, I know the first few times when I do the track, all the drivers are all 18.
Also, like, I'm old as fuck.
They're just looking at me like, who's this fucking old douchebag with this fucking expensive ass helmet?
Slow as shit.
I'm like, look at my helmet.
They're like, you're slow.
Like, stop talking.
Bro, you own a production company and a very successful brand.
You can sponsor yourself.
Nah.
That's goofy, man.
Really?
Sponsor one of the kids that's going to win.
That's the goofy part.
Yeah, that is the goofy part.
Yeah, you're like, I don't want to look lame in front of these children.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're 18, huh?
Some of them.
Do you ever, do you ever like, um, if they cut you off and shit afterwards, try to pull up?
No, what's actually horrible is uh the guys that are like over 18, they like recognize me.
So, like, the first few times, I used to go to this track in Fontana.
Um, they shut it down, rest in peace.
But I would get out the cart and then some kids like pull their helmets off, and they'd be like, Noel?
I'm like, ah, and they're like, Yo, you're looking all right out there.
So they just watched you after they wash it, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's humiliating.
Yeah, I've done a couple races.
I did one where like I entered the 16 to 25 or like no 16 to 30 bracket.
Yeah, I think actually the minimum age of 16, doesn't matter.
There's like hella young kids on track, and uh um I got sent off, you know, because you were going too slow or because you were not dangerous.
I was actually, no, I was actually solid.
Um, man, only girl on track sent me off, bro.
What do you mean, send you off?
What does that mean?
We were both going to a corner, and she was like, No, she just like she, I don't know what was going through her head.
She just like drifted into me and she sent us both off.
Now, the people watching, they're seeing a woman and an Asian going into a corner.
Yeah, what do they think in that moment?
They have no idea.
Do they not?
Because you might not give me the exact idea.
No, because both you guys went off, yeah, oh weird, yeah, yeah, but that's a coincidence.
Yeah, super coincidence, yeah, and everybody made it.
Who said I'm a woman?
Oh, that's true, that's true, that's true.
Yeah, they're like, It's a woman and a that guy, yeah, yes, Have you ever done any uh, what is it, open wheel?
That's I definitely want to drive something open, that's next, yeah, yeah.
I'd love to.
What's expensive?
It's like what the F cars are.
Oh, F cars, well, because there's that would be like F3 or whatever, right?
That would say that a different way.
No, that's carding.
No, but like, you could do the what is it, Formula 3?
Oh, hell no, bro.
You need like half a mill to race one.
Well, that's the thing.
It's super expensive, but uh, and you have to pay to rent those cars.
And if you fuck it up, that's on you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But a bunch of like old rich dudes basically will travel around.
They'll do all the courses, and it's like a super flex.
Yeah.
And, but it's kind of fire.
Yeah.
All your all your races are like recorded and everything.
Take us.
It's not I wish.
Yeah.
I wish my car worked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we could go driving.
Yeah.
I'll probably do full-size cars eventually.
I'll, you know.
I mean, you could take the Porsche on the track, can't you?
Yeah, yeah.
What is that place?
No, it's the Porsche Experience or something.
The only good one's in Atlanta.
Yeah.
There's a huge one in Atlanta.
I shot.
I filmed something right near it.
They have a track.
Yeah, that one's great.
At the fucking fact.
I mean, that's the factory.
No, no, it's just like an experience center that they have.
It is nuts.
And basically, you get to pick your car and then take it on the track.
And all that stuff.
That's awesome.
And it's a great way to sell cars because they'll allow you to basically try their new shit in the best way possible.
It's the best way to drive a vehicle ever.
So you're ripping this fucking Cayenne or McCann or whatever the fuck around the track.
You're like, I think I do need this for my family.
Yeah, yeah.
This would be nice in Long Island.
Exactly.
That's how you get dads to buy like a little SUV for the family.
Yeah.
You know, you have to just send them around the fucking racetrack.
Yeah.
That's really all it takes.
They got one in LA though, I thought.
It's ass.
Really?
Yeah.
Watch the track.
Respectfully.
Yeah, it's just small.
There's a lot of other tracks, though, out there.
You can take it.
There's Button Willow.
You got to drive out of LA to get to them.
Yeah, of course.
The only semi-full-size car I've driven, you should pull this up.
It's called a legend car.
I've done one test drive in it.
Mercedes?
No.
Oh, one of these things?
Dude, this shit is like...
What?
You could fit one of these on the set.
Oh, they're little.
They're small.
And they have like a motorcycle transmission.
And they're crazy as fuck to drive.
Because you can set these up for pavement or dirt.
And when I drove it, it had a mesh for dirt.
So you're kind of like looking through a fence while you drive.
So you get a lot of this like trying to drive by feel.
Like you're just kind of like, I think the corner's there.
I'm going to put it in.
And like, okay, I felt the tire touch.
Like you're kind of like.
Are you supposed to, what is it called?
Like drift into the corners?
Not necessarily with something like this, you just may naturally because there's no, there's nothing compressing the car to the ground like a formula car.
So sorry, all the people listening probably think this is so boring.
No, this is like how's a full set of human?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
That's just hot.
So I actually debated buying one of these.
That'd be fun to soup up.
Yeah.
You can get them race ready for like probably like 20 grand.
How much does it cost to go to the track?
Pretty expensive.
What is like a one-time?
Probably spend like $1,500.
Wow.
Wow.
So way more expensive than like golf at an legit course.
Yeah.
So it's $1,500 every time you go.
So the people that are doing it as like their Sunday activity, you got to have a real fun thing.
You have to have a lot of money, dude.
It's a rich guy's sport for sure.
That's why I like carding because you can get the same experience, but it's not way cheaper.
Yeah.
No, it's definitely still expensive.
Like relative, you know.
Yeah.
You're still going to drop like at least 200 bucks in fuel.
Yeah.
And on a race day, depending like who you are, you might get a new set of tires every race.
So it's two, 300 bucks.
So you're usually 2K for the day.
So you're burning through equipment, everything.
You've got to get a sponsor, dog.
You've got to put out a bad signal.
Oh, Super 73 gave me some money.
Let's go.
But I've, you know, I had to like kind of temper that for a bit.
When I get back off tour, I want to do some racing.
Yeah, dude.
You got to get a full race team.
That's the goal.
And just lose money.
Yeah.
Don't they all?
And then you die.
And then that's an awesome life.
Yeah, But that's the game, right?
26-year-old being like, yeah, dude, just throw all your money away.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And then let me come watch because that sounds funny.
Let me come watch.
For sure.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah, I gotta.
Yeah, that'd be crazy to drive a Formula One car.
There are programs you could do it.
I mean, it must be crazy expensive.
These ones, no, because they'll like, I mean, it's expensive, but like for what you get, I think it'd be worth it.
Because the first day, they'll let you drive like a car that's like kind of fast.
Then they'll scale you up on the second day.
And then the third day, they'll let you drive a formula car.
You'll do like one warm-up lap, and you're only allowed like three to five actual laps in the formula car.
Have you done that racing school?
It's called Skip.
Skip Barber.
Skip Barber.
Yeah.
But maybe it will eventually, yeah.
It's legit, right?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
That was a wedding gift my wife and I got.
Oh, bro.
Because not yet.
But my wife grew up carting in Santa Barbara.
No, shut up.
Yeah.
She had the fastest time for a woman on the course.
Yeah, bro.
Because her stepdad was racing.
So he's like, I think you'd like this.
And she's super competitive.
So she was about the.
She knows how to race?
Yeah, yeah.
She's never taken you.
No.
Did she get ran off the track by an ethnically biggest guy?
Because you might have some explaining.
Did she crash me out?
Your wife crashed me out.
Wow.
But here you are dogging on women drivers.
I've experienced it.
Oh my gosh.
No, she always drives when we go places.
It's great.
That's great.
And I got to like front I don't like it.
Wow, you love it.
You're a fucking shotgun pretty princess?
I've got shotgun fretty princess all day.
Scroll on Instagram.
It is the best.
Yeah.
Yo, I have a random question.
Do you know anything about cortisone shots?
Not saying that Filipinos are nurses or anything, but like I know people get them.
I got one.
Oh, yeah.
What?
You got eczema?
No.
What?
No, I got shoulder pain.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's for like muscle shot.
Oh, you're talking about the cream.
No.
Sometimes people get shots because their eczema is so bad.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I wouldn't know, though.
But I'm worried.
You wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know.
Yeah.
Maybe that's why he doesn't have eczema.
It's all this cortisone.
Yeah, he's exactly.
No, I got cortisone.
And now everybody was telling me that I, okay, the doctor is like, yeah, let's do it.
It'll reduce the inflammation.
And now people are telling me, don't do that.
It's horrible.
It just kind of like numbs you to what's going on in there.
You get one, then you got to rehab while you're doing it.
Otherwise, it's just going to keep it's not going to fix the muscles.
What's your shoulder?
It's going to reduce the pain, but you got to do the rehab and shit.
Yeah.
What's your shoulder pain?
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
They said I have like a little labrum tear, but they also said most people my age have a little labrum tear.
But I think it's just like just wear and tear from life.
Do you work out?
I mean, you didn't have to say it like that.
That's kind of kind of no chance I did.
I'm just asking.
You said it like, do you even work out?
Like, it was.
I mean, in this city, I could understand not wanting to.
Wait, why?
Why?
Why?
Good food?
Just I'll work it off when I walk around.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
Decent save.
That was a decent save.
This is a decent save.
What?
It's fucking cold.
Does that burn?
That burns calories?
No, I just mean like if I got up and it's fucking brick and there's some warm ass ramen two blocks away and I think there's a gym, but I can choose the gym or like ramen.
You know what I mean?
Like I just think I would be inclined.
Yeah.
Fuck working out.
I mean, yes, fuck working out, but I think I did.
I think it's from boxing, but I'm worried that I might.
You box.
I hit the mitts.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Boxing days are over.
You box for hella long, though.
So you put a lot of wear and tear onto labrum and shoulders.
It's a lot of mileage on those shoulders.
Yeah.
But fuck.
How many years did you box?
Started when I was maybe like 20.
Okay.
Yeah.
So just off and on since then.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Why?
You box?
You box?
I was like training for like a year and a half.
Um, I enjoy it, but then it just became like actually boxing.
You'll see a lot of F1 drivers like hit the pads.
They're horrible at it.
They're terrible.
Everybody is.
Everyone is.
Yeah.
But specifically them, I'll see them train and they'll post those clips.
I'm like, look, you got all the sponsors.
You don't need to thirst with this.
You don't have to thirst trap with this.
It's looking badass.
It's never enough.
Yeah.
But no, yeah, I did that.
But then I was carting a lot and I was just beating on my ribs.
And you use the same muscle groups.
So when I go to like hit the pads, I was just wasting too much.
Yeah.
Would you do one of these?
I know you were saying earlier you want some of this internet smoke.
Oh, hell no, man.
Come on, bro.
I don't think I'm built for fighting.
Come on, bro.
You are built for fighting.
Trust me.
I don't think so.
You are built for fighting, bro.
Dude, I got like negative three bone density.
What's your street record?
Do you have a street record?
No, I had to be funny, man.
Hell no, bro.
Really?
A lot of my friends, like my friends growing up, they fought a ton.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you just kind of refereed.
No, I would just stand back there and be like, yo, fuck them up.
Yeah, you were hyping.
Yeah, definitely hyphen.
Instigate and step back.
I know that move.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's smart.
What if it's 20 million?
Would you fight Salt Poppy?
Fuck no, dude.
20 million?
No, man.
You wouldn't just get knocked out for 20 million racing team.
You get to race for the rest of your life?
I get to race one season off of 10 million.
That's a great year, bro.
That's a great season, bro.
That was a great year.
Fighting Instincts and Internet Smoke00:06:43
Did I kill myself after?
That's it.
You assume you'd make it through the season.
This is true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's 20 million.
I think that's money well spent, bro.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess in that scenario where like you know, you're going to lose, I guess it's not really that big of a deal.
You had to go down early.
Who cares?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You take one liver shot and you're just like.
That's it.
Oh, if it's a liver shot, I'll take that.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
You worry about fucking this up.
Man, I don't want to take head trauma.
Yeah.
I don't want to get that 20 million and wake up and be like, babe, do we live in Ohio?
Have you had a concussion before?
I think I've had one.
I don't really know.
Yeah.
This is actually a great story.
I like try to, like, I tried to jump my bike.
I went off it, hit the pavement, wasn't wearing a helmet.
So I'm pretty sure.
Ow.
I wasn't out.
I like, I got up from it.
I remember going inside and I went to my mom and I said, I think I have internal bleeding.
I'm scared.
And then she kind of laughs and she said, you ain't got internal bleeding.
A few days later, she goes, she thinks you're Tom Cruise.
That's what you get for trying to do your own stunts.
I was like, fuck, that's funny.
But that's fucked.
They never took me.
Yeah.
She never took me in.
Vicks Vapor Rub on it.
No, not even, man.
She's like, just eat a little.
Play some video games.
Forget about it.
You did forget about it.
So in a way, I guess she's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But would she ever go, Joseph?
Joseph?
It's known in my family named Joseph.
So he's drinking the fuck out of that water.
He's a hailing vapor.
You ever got arrested?
Never?
No.
Pulled over for speeding, nothing like that.
Pull over a ton.
You get out of the tickets, though?
Yeah.
How?
Yeah.
Cooperate.
What?
Come on, bro.
What?
Come on.
What?
Nah, fuck that.
They don't cooperate, right?
That's right.
Oh, just cooperate.
Oh, my God.
No, that's.
Is that what you said?
No, I said it more like that's like, I just was scared.
You're saying Puerto Ricans don't cooperate?
Yeah, what is it about Puerto Ricans that just they don't cooperate with authorities?
What is it?
I've lived in New York long enough to know.
So this is good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You gotta learn that.
He gets out of it well.
He always gets out of it well.
Yeah, yeah.
Just wiggles out every fucking time.
Swipping and weaving, though.
Head movement.
Okay, listen.
Damn it.
No, now that's just going to get clipped like crazy.
Cooperate, no well?
Cooperate?
You know what's crazy?
Every time I get pulled over, first question, or second question.
You and a gang?
No.
Every time.
Really?
Every time.
Yeah.
And so, like, when they say, I mean, you are, though, so it kind of makes sense.
Yeah.
Tiny meat.
Do you say that?
Tiny meat.
No, you say that?
No.
Never.
Now I drive a decent car, so I don't get pulled over as much.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Let me put that together.
When you had the Honda Civic, you had the Civic and Tell the Porsche?
Because that's 20 years.
I mean, I held on to it, but no, I wasn't driving it all the time until the Porsche.
That makes sense.
The nicer car, they'll.
But there's like a level, right?
The opposite for the black folks.
Yeah, if you're driving a really nice car, are they going to go, are they going to pull you over more?
Depends.
If it's fishbowl and stock rims, you're good.
What does fishbowl mean?
Like you can see them through the mirrors or the windows.
Ah, if you've got the tents too crazy, it's like asking for it.
So what's the advantage of going crazy low on the tents?
It's awesome.
It looks fine.
I guess it looks better, but like the inconvenience that comes with getting pulled over all the fucking time.
Yeah, usually those people.
I mean, in LA, you get away with it, though.
Yeah, they're not thinking the decisions for the future.
Damn.
I can see those people.
You can say that.
Puerto Ricans are racist.
You want to guess crazy, dude?
Jeez.
That was really crazy what you did right there, man.
Can you still tell the guy's black with the dark tint?
Because maybe they're just, you know, they don't like low tint.
Not because they can see their Instagram through the they can see him browsing.
Yeah, he got a Tesla for that exact reason.
He's got double brows.
He's on YouTube, big screen.
He's on TikTok on that screen.
Yeah, dude.
And I was like, damn.
Tiny DK clips, baby.
Bro.
I was the this is the corniest thing maybe I ever did.
Every time I got pulled over this kid, I was so afraid of cops like getting mad at me or like getting shot or some shit.
They'd be like, Mark, bro, how's your dad?
I'd be like, dad, are you?
I would literally take the keys out and put them on the roof.
Put them on the roof.
Every time I got pulled over.
That's like a.
Your parents ever told you that?
Wow, dude.
You ain't said shit the whole time.
You just add limb mark on that on the roof.
On the roof, break down this roof.
All right, ready?
I get pulled over.
I'm in the Chrysler 300.
So obviously, you know, they're pulling me over for ethnic reasons.
And then I would, I would, bro, my dad got the car.
Every time I would drive it, black dudes would pull up and they'd be like, oh my God, like they'd be terrified every time.
And then they'd be like, did you steal this car?
No, but I would take, I would get pulled over, all the windows down, take the keys out, keys on the roof, hands on the wheel.
And then the cop would pull up and be like, what are you doing?
And I'm like, just complying.
And he'd be like, all right, well, just turn your lights on.
I was like, yes, sir.
And then I would wait for him to go back to the car, started back up.
Protocol.
Never got shot.
And your dad told you to do that?
Your dad told you to do that as well?
So you don't run.
You put the keys on the roof, and then they know you're not going to fuck around.
Yeah.
Keep your hands on the wheel and then get out of that.
All the windows down.
You learned that?
No.
No, you got to know cops to know that.
You got to know white cops to know that.
They probably didn't tell you because they, you know, they didn't care who you that died.
But white cops will tell you that shit.
And then he walks up on you being like, the windows down and hands on a wheel, but not the whole key on the top.
Like, that's extra.
You just turn the wheels.
Do extra.
Do extra.
They don't pull me over that.
Yeah.
I learned the keys on the dash later.
Oh, really?
But they can't see that, though.
I've never taken the key out.
Yeah.
Have you ever been pulled over?
I've never taken it.
I did.
I got pulled over doing 95.
In what?
In 95.
Which is unfair.
Yeah, I was in Germany.
No, I got pulled over to a 95.
I was on like the 101 or some shit.
I was driving up to San Francisco from Santa Barbara.
And I was arguing with my brother, Tokyo Corolla.
And I was so angry.
I was driving fast.
I wasn't even trying to drive fast to be dangerous.
I was just fighting with him.
And the dude followed me for minutes.
He's like, I've been following you for five.
I didn't notice because I was just fighting with my brother on the phone.
And then I think he let me go because he didn't want to do the paperwork for an out-of-state license.
Lisbon Paperwork and Expat Life00:02:57
I had a New York license.
Oh, really?
They're more willing, I figured, to do it because they know you're not going to show up for the court appearance to contest a ticket.
But then they wouldn't get the money anyway, right?
No, you just pay.
Because you're not, you only show up if you're like, I don't think this is a real ticket or a rightful ticket.
I assume that's why I was, but maybe it was just being white.
But he didn't fucking.
He didn't give me a ticket at all.
Andrew, it's a lot of paperwork.
My whole life, I've been chalking up white privilege to paperwork.
Isn't that fun?
Like, what a crazy thing.
You know, how much more paperwork it is when they kill a black guy?
That's crazy.
A lot of paperwork.
Dude, so nice to me, but I thought it was because they didn't want to do the paperwork.
I said, you really thought that nuts?
You honestly thought that's it.
I thought it was the paperwork.
I was like, yo, you know how much paperwork you got to do for New York?
They don't follow me around the story because they're so lazy.
You know what I mean?
They just want to sit there.
They don't want to farm.
No, paperwork, because cops hate paperwork.
If you watch any cop shows, they hate that.
They hate paperwork.
But in reality, it's just that I'm white.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Okay, listen, Noelle, you have a tour.
I do have a tour.
That's still cooking right now.
Can you tell us where we can go see you?
No, no.
Where do we got?
Yeah.
Come buy a ticket.
NoelMillerLive.com.
I got, damn.
I got like 30 some more dates in the States.
Amazing.
And then I got a bunch in Europe.
Oh, where are you doing in Europe?
I'm going to do, I got two sold out in Amsterdam.
Let's go.
It's a whole bunch, man.
Read them off.
Yeah, you got the whole shit right here.
Bro, I'm doing Dublin.
Nice.
Helsinki.
Don't do that car bomb shit there.
No.
Oslo.
I'm doing Stockholm, Birmingham, London, Sheffield, Glasgow, Manchester, Newcastle.
I'm going to Belgium.
I'm doing Berlin, Copenhagen.
I'm going to end it in Lisbon.
I don't know what that's going to be like.
That's going to be fire.
And casino shows.
And Orlando, dude.
Big casino show.
Holy fuck.
No, It's a big expat city now.
So like a lot of like English people who want to retire.
Oh, okay.
Or a lot of, they just go to Lisbon because it's cheaper.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So I think you'll have a lot of like British people.
Old British people?
That's not.
I don't know if they're old, but like there's also a big like work from home community.
So a lot of Americans went out there.
They're super welcome.
One of my worst bombs ever was for a bunch of old expat British people in Singapore.
He saw it.
Yeah.
It was a fucking nightmare.
Yeah.
So just be ready to hate them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all right.
But at least it's not like it's the end of your tour.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not like it's the last to see you.
They weren't coming out to see us.
We were just comedy.
Yeah, we crashed a club.
That's fair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, so go check out Noel.
Make sure you watch all of his stuff, obviously, but go check out the tour and then convince him to put us some standout out in the near future.
Yeah, no, I will.
Yeah.
Just, you know, don't put too much stock in the one clip that's out there.